The Reader`s Doglist Tat Catalogue

In this edition:
eader’s
Doglist
The nation’s favourite Tat Catalogue!
100's of Special Offers Inside!
Has the Chancellor of the ExCzecher left you feeling poorer after the Bodget?
Well fear not - here are some exciting shopping options brought to you by the
Reader's Doglist Association Of Great Britain!
We're proud to announce that we're offering you a whole range of items you
never realised you couldn't do without!
For example:-
FREE
GIFT!
With every purchase
over £49.98 receive
these British Made
genuine top quality
household bricks
Absolutely free!
Thousands of uses!
The NOBBY complete Tat Storage Unit
Sold in this catalogue for only £49.98!
Dear Friend,
As a reader and definite customer of tat, let us welcome you to this very worthwhile
catalogue bursting with things. We know you will be dripping with expectation so
turn the page and get shopping!
Call 0183-83 83 83 for the last word in Tat supplies.
7 days a week (Tuesday to Friday) 24 hour telephone helpline (13:00-17:00).
Or order via our SECURE website at www.toptat.tv/snoddy
Everything you need to control fluids!
The GAWPER
multi-use fluid
collector. Ideal
for bleeding
radiators,
s o d d i n g
rainwater butts
and bloody
Bognors. Handy
also for collecting pus or
generally plugging nuisance
orifices. Neatly
doubles as ear
debris collector.
Will be a lasting
pleasure.
Code 4217
GAWPER
Don't wait another day to get exploring!
The original WILE WAXCK domestic head drill.
Lots of handy attachments. Go as deep as you
dare! Fun for all the family. Originally developed
for NASA astronauts. Have a go at trepanning in
the comfort of your own home!
£9.98
Code 4288
WILE WAXCK
£9.98
What a knockout punch!
Can't ever find a public lavvy?
LUMMEE hand hole punch punches variable
diameter holes straight through your palms!
Cut-out portions of flesh and bone are collected
for further use. Perfect in salads!
The world-famous JASPER go-anywhere personal
lavatory. No more fiddly filling of lemonade bottles.
No spillage. Never ceases to amaze. A boon for
golfers don't wait for 19th hole to relieve yourself.
Code 4201
LUMMEE
£16.98
Code 4202
JASPER
£29.98
Never soil your fingers again!
Why suffer the pain of
squashed equipment?
The SNOTTY electronic bogey removal
tool this is one for the ladies! Also painlessly sucks out gunk from your eyeballs.
Two for the price of one!
The CASSOCK sturdy shower seat for
men. Handy cut-away section for comfy
housing of gentleman's tackle. Classic
and classy.
Code 4203
SNOTTY
£9.98
Don't hide your light
under a bushbaby!
FRAMMIS
CASSOCK
£9.98
We think we have found the answer!
The FRAMMIS stylish rain hat in beautiful
super-clear vinyl. Anatomically designed.
Absolute godsend. Teeth extra.
Code 4239
Code 4273
£9.98
WHOOSHY waterproof pull-on pants in
super quiet vinyl. With the added bonus
of our patented FOLLOWTHROUGH™
anti skid-mark protection, you'll marvel
at the quality!
Code 4291
WHOOSHY
£9.98
For thousands of years Oriental doctors
have treated embarrassing itches.
Last call for Carol Ashton!
“CAROL ASHTON”
suitcase strap. A
must for CAROL
A S H T O N s
everywhere. We have
found the answer.
Code 4288
CAROL ASHTON
£9.98
These will be a lasting pleasure!
Stop wrestling with your computer and
become an internet expert in hours!
Can't grow your
own Stop Fungus?
Get it in a bottle!
It's as simple as
that. Apply
liberally. Ask a
friend to help get
to the nooks and
crannies you can
no longer reach
or see. The
swelling is normal.
Do not panic.
Code 4214
STOP FUNGUS
S n o d d y ™
Software will
have you
f i n d i n g
pictures like
this in no time
from all over
the World
Wide Web !
No fuss. Do it
all while sitting
down.
£9.98
The world’s best digital music player
for dogs!
Code 4291
WHOOSHY
£9.98
Code 4261
£9.98
Code 4217
i-WOOF
£9.98
Code 4273
IMPINGE
£9.98
Twelve strong magnets and ceramic micro capsules!
The magic formule of
strategically-placed magnets
simply makes all that hideous fat
disappear!
Warning! Take care around
radiators and large white goods!
Don't become an unwitting
fridge magnet! Your family will
have a good chortle but you'll feel
a right charlie!
Introducing the i-WOOF Fido's own
digital music player! Attaches
unnoticeably to this racy pink collar.
Plays 'Dik-a- dum- dum' by Des
O'Connor!
BEIGE & FLORAL
The IMPINGE
bunion protector.
L o - o d o u r. H i comfyness.
Know your
bunions. Know
your Impinge!
SPECTACULAR DOUBLE OFFER ESPECIALLY FOR ALL FAT PEOPLE!!!
Virtually undetectable, high fashion fat flatteners.
Buy this
bargain
double pack!
The BEIGE
and the
F L O R A L
g r a v y
soppers.
Absorbent
and hygienic.
Save your
furniture and
re-use your
gravy! Swissmade.
Unsightly red lines spoiling
the look of your bunion?
Dopey Brenda
Puffs is slim but
stuck to her
washing machine!
Code 4217
Look at these ridiculous
individuals is it worth it?
Stay slim, stay away
from metallic objects!
FAT Flatteners
£99.98 for both
Ever wished there was an easier way?
Put an end to the arduous task of charging!
You can’t sweep fog under the carpet!
Will everybody be able to handle the surprise
when they find you in the Pomfrey?
98
.
£9
Is fog a problem?
It won't be with
this Swiss-made
plastic tube.
WERSCH™ almost silent incontinence
pants come in hospital-quality super clear
vinyl. Keep it all in but see what
you've done! What coluld be better?
Code 4267
WERSCH
£9.98
Do you want our suggestion
as to where you can put that?
The SWAFFHAM home battery charger with
handle.
Harnessing the power of feet. British technology.
Russian engineering. Safe and odourless.
Code 4234
SWAFFHAM
£9.98
Troubled by awkward fasteners?
Code 4205
TUBE
£9.98
Cheer yourself up with
attractive footwear!
The POMFREY vinyl garden tent uses the same
quality materials as the FRAMMIS stylish rain hat
and the WHOOSHY pull-on pants! SPECIAL OFFER!
Buy all three together and save £49.98! Imagine
what your friends and family will say when they find
you sitting in your POMFREY wearing just your
FRAMMIS rain hat and your WHOOSHY pull-on
pants!!
Code 4294
POMFREY
£49.98
So comfortable you’ll forget
you have them on!
FOLDS FOR
STORAGE
FOLDS FOR
STORAGE
The NOBBY complete Tat Storage Unit
simply swallows all those useful things
you've ordered. For men and women.
Code 4277
NOBBY
£49.98
The “SNODDY”.
Winning design. Jumbo. Lightweight.
Delicious fried food in minutes.
Code 4274
SNODDY
£9.98
Is your cat DEAD? Well, never mind!
Remember Tiddles with these stylish
MURIELS emblazoned with the fizzog of
your favourite dead feline!
Code 4203
MURIELS
£9.98
The SHOEBURYNESS slip-on moccasin
for men and women. Optional red fluffball (chodlets).
Code 4239
SHOEBURYNESS
£9.98
A must for garden pond
owners everywhere!
They said it couldn't be done! Well we'll simply
say “pbwllpblblppwbllbwpllb” to them!
Troubled by orange spots?
British invention!
Hurrah! Attaches
easily to your
JASPER personal
lavatory. Makes
your pond water
frothy!
Banish manky
knees with the
F L A N G E
KNEEPATE.
Sturdy. Fully
waterproof.
We've all done it! One too many Mammoth
Cleanser sandwiches and our feet are covered
in orange spots!
Help is at hand! Order the BOBBY as used by the
Metropolitan Police! You know it makes sense.
Code 4294
INVENTION
Do you speak like a peasant?
£9.98
Do you have to ask what you’ll use this for?
Code 4288
BOBBY
£9.98
Why get expensive craftsmen in?
Get the BUCK HICE language conversion tool.
Slip on these unnoticeable gig-lamps! Resolve
awful accents. Your neighbours will say you speak
like the Queen! Particularly effective against the
worst Brummie or Ulster awfulness.
Code 4263 FLANGE KNEEPATE £9.98
Ideal if you live near trees!
Code 4291
BUCK HICE
£9.98
Have you got a dull dog?
Easy to adjust,
adorable…
the perfect
thing for lazy
s u m m e r
afternoons
with the
g r a n d children. You
won't stop
laughing!
The WROSTER revolving seat sweggly for
those with very large bottoms. Powerful
motor spins you round if you get stuck in
the car. You'll be the talk of the town!
Code 4233
THING
£9.98
Code 4216
WROSTER
£9.98
An end to toenail problems. Clip the
blighters right off with these industrial
quality and strength, hi-tech miracles….
Code 4267
HI-TECH
£9.98
FOLDS FOR
STORAGE
Have you ever seen SOLAR so LIFE LIKE?
Code 4239 SOLAR £9.98 (per dozen)
No need to spend a fortune!
The Red Army can’t be wrong!
I’ve got fish-waste up my sleeve!
The Russians are used
to a nip in the air in
winter. That's why their
GIMPY meet the finest remote control dog!
Roll over GIMPY! Beg GIMPY! Do some Do,
GIMPY!
Code 4244
GIMPY
£9.98
Want to save a fortune and be
stylish for summer?
army
keep
their
b i t s
snug
a n d
warm
i
n
these distinctive white pants. No socks
for Ivan!
Code 4239
RUSSIAN PANTS
£9.98
A boon for every home and garden!
T h e
TWADDLE
s h o e
leather
saver!
This sturdy
plastic
pad fits
s n u g l y.
TIP! Get
one for
each foot!
Code 4233
Is everything heading
south? Uncontrollable
dribbling from a variety of
places? Tufts of thick hair
Do you keep wooden
pets? You sad bastard.
You deserve to be ripped
off so you might as well
buy this craftsman-made, solid wood
feeding bowl (with handle).
Code 4261
WOOD
£9.98
Do your feet stink? Are you lazy,
unfit and underachieving?
FOLDS FOR
STORAGE
The garden MAVIS clears all the muck
from your driveway on only one charge!
No unsightly marks.
TWADDLE
£9.98
Code 4213
MAVIS
£9.98
Have you reached that age where
you’ve lost control?
Well, get this gadget!
The “Horrible” athlete's foot tool. Highly
abrasive. Troublesome skin easily
removed. In one week you'll be
transformed from a slothful couch potato
to a sprightly sprinter. Warning! Does not
enhance other body parts!
And you still won't have any friends.
Code 4236
HORRIBLE
£9.98
erupting? Suffering from rampant legs?
Get them under control with the WIGWAM
POULTICE elasticated snoddly.
Code 4297 WIGWAM POULTICE£9.98
Never be caught out again!
Presenting the “SMIBERNOLL” - a dualpurpose vessel.
Fill it with your favourite refreshment
drink it then, once processed, direct it
hygienically back into the same
receptacle! Hours of pleasure
guaranteed.
A boon for :ü Anglers
ü HGV Drivers
FOLDS FOR
ü Postmen
STORAGE
ü Travellers
ü Campers
ü Bloaters
Code 4283
SMIBERNOLL
£9.98
Dou you make a terrible smell
every time you use it?
Every household should have
a bottle of Shoe Stretch
During
Before
The WHIMBREL odour-absorbent
lavvy-seat makes your smallest
room a luxurious haven of comfort!
A place for blissful relief. Try the
finger test yourself.
You'll be amazed!
At last! We’ve made it available to you!
No more waiting...
Bubonic plague in seconds!
After
Are your toes six inches
long? No problem!
Stretch your shoes to
fit!
The WASTREL cream is easy to apply.
“Buboes” develop rapidly. Just like the
real thing!
FOLDS FOR
STORAGE
Code 4219
WHIMBREL
£9.98
Didn’t think you’d get to see
the Red Arrows this year?
Code 4234
SHOE STRETCH
Space age Russian technology! The
VOLGA (almost) wireless! Simply snap in
the chunky power cable and be amazed
by the sound*! From a whisper to a roar!
Mono! Muffled! Spare knobs easily fitted.
*currently Radio Moscow only.
£9.98
Hygienic… quick & easy… you don't
even know you're wearing it!
Code 4227
WASTREL
£9.98
No household should be without...
BEFORE
Code 4253
VOLGA
£49.98
Sturdy, purpose-designed, non-skid...
THICK CUSHION
AFTER
The DOBBIN attachment. For men and
women.
Half a dozen LEAPY LEE red arrows for only
£4.98!?
Code 4277
LEAPY LEE
£4.98
Code 4263
DOBBIN
£9.98
Genuine replica National Health gnashers
weld the upper and lower sets together for
that permanent fixed grin. Gottle o' Geer!
Code 4203
GNASHERS
£9.98
“Thick” cushion - don't be a chump!
Sorts out your issues with aching
buttocks caused by hard seats. Make
your home a “thick” home!
Code 4244
THICK CUSHION
£9.98