april 2013 issue - Rachel Williston

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Pretty T Girls
April 2013
The Magazine for the most beautiful girls in the world
A publication of Pretty T Girls Yahoo group
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In This Issue
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Editorial by: Barbara Jean
3 Glamorous Red Lipsticks from the Drugstore
Back to Basics Beauty Tips and Tricks
Better Brows and Lashes
The Exploits of Barbara Marie
The Adventures of Judy Sometimes
Tasi’s Musings
Second Cover Girl Contest Coming
Humor
Angels In the Centerfold
TG Tips From Mellissa
A New Yahoo Group
Rhonda’s Ramblings
The Ramblings of A Married T Girl—Stephanie Rene
Tasi’s Fashion News—Your Handbag & You
Colorful Spring Dresses $30 & Under
Lucille Sorella
How to Keep Clothes Looking New
12 Strategies For Clearing Clutter
The Gossip Fence
Shop Till You Drop
Calendar
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CHURCH
An Editorial by: Barbara Jean
I recall being told where a group of kids where on a scavenger hunt and
one of the items they needed was a church key. Well the kids went to a
church and asked the pastor for a key to the church for their scavenger
hunt.
Well most of us know that a church key was slang for a bottle opener.
For many people the beer bottle and the bar was church. For many years we of the LGBT community were not welcomed in church, we were considered to be sinners who not only were living in sin but would not turn from the sin of homosexuality or transgenderism.
Things started to change for us in 1968 where in Los Angeles Rev. Troy Perry founded the
Metropolitan Community Church, a church that not only was for members of the LGBT community, but one that was Christian based, and taught that everybody was loved and welcomed
by God. Today the MCC has almost 300 congregations in some 22 countries and about 43,000
members.
That was a start for us. Today more and more churches have opened their doors to members of
the LGBT community. Episcopalians, Unitarians, Unity, United Church of Christ are but a few
of the denominations that have become welcoming to us. There are even some that are part of a
denomination that may still today preach against us, but the individual church did not agree
with the denominations teachings.
As I look through the postings on our boards I find that many girls have found they have had a
wonderful experience in being able to worship the God of their choice as the person that God
created them to be. Not all are attending an MCC church. One writes of attending a Methodist
church, another I know attends a Catholic church and I know a couple that even attend a Jewish
Temple as her true self. I myself have attended a UCC church for many years as Barbara, even
before going full time enfemme. There are others also, Unity, Unitarian to name just a couple
The person that God created us to be… Most of us believe that we were born transgender and if
that is the case than that is what God had created us as. We may not know why, but I do believe that God does have a purpose in creating us the way we are. Thus I think it is only fitting
that we worship him as the person who he made us.
How often have we seen that WWJD, What Would Jesus Do? Jesus did not reject anyone. He
rebuked those who used the church for personal gain, and he rebuked those who looked down
on others.
Perhaps my favorite bible verse 1 Samuel 16:7 tells us that God looks upon our heart.
While there may be some that condemn us, God does not and now many churches recognize
this and have welcomed us rather than condemn us.
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3 Glamorous Red Lipsticks (from the drugstore!)
BY HEATHER FONSECA
I’ve always wanted to be the kind of girl who wore red
lipstick all day, every day, even to the gym. It sounds
like a great combination of dedication, glamour and
predictability. Unfortunately I get bored easily, and so
switch my lipstick colors according to the season. Once a
year, in December, I really do become a red lipstick girl,
wearing it everywhere. The brilliant color stands out on
chilly, bleak days and brightens up whatever I’m
wearing. Recently I’ve been obsessed with these three elegant, creamy, long-lasting red
lipsticks. They look as good worn to the grocery store as they do at a party, and they’re cheap!
Each one is sold at the drugstore for under $10.
Maybelline Color Sensational Lipstick in
Revival”
“Red
Words like “bombshell”, “retro” and “glamourpuss”
come to mind upon applying this deep, cool, red
lipstick. Although the advertisements show a shimmery
red, it’s a true cream with no sparkle at all.
Staying power – impressive. It comes off on coffee cups and the like, but stays on lips for a
few hours if you don’t eat or drink anything.
Feel on lips – creamy and smooth.
Bleed – minimal.
Smell – This lipstick smells almost buttery, but in a good way.
“In the Red” Super Lustrous Matte Lipstick by
Revlon
I’m not normally a big fan of matte lipstick. I don’t like
the dry feeling, or look, on my lips. On the other hand I
do like to try new things and after years of wearing shiny
everything a matte shade is refreshing. I love the dark
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brick-red color. It’s unusual but very sophisticated. Of the three lipsticks this one is my favorite
choice for daytime.
Staying power – The lipstick stays on for a long time, but I reapply it often otherwise it stains
my lips a weird reddish-brown.
Feel on lips – This lipstick feels fairly dry but because it’s lightweight it’s not annoying.
Bleed – nonexistent. It doesn’t budge, staying within the lip line nicely even without the addition of lip liner.
Smell – This lipstick smells softly of citrus.
Covergirl Lip Perfection Lipcolor in “Hot”
Not for the faint-hearted, this neon red is impossible
to ignore and such a powerful statement that not
much other makeup is needed to look completely
“done”.
Staying power – amazing. The color is so heavily pigmented that it stains your lips a bright
cherry-pink. Even if the lipstick wears off a bit you don’t notice. It stays fresh looking for
hours.
Feel on lips - Slightly dry, but not irritatingly so.
Bleed - I notice a slight bleeding into the fine lines around my mouth, but it’s minimal.
Smell - The lipstick has an appealing, old-fashioned lipstick smell.
From left to right, Maybelline’s “Red Revival”, Revlon’s “In
the Red”, and Covergirl’s “Hot”. As you can tell from the
photo I wear all three lipsticks. No one has paid me for the
review, I just want to share these three glamorous, inexpensive lip colors with you.
*Update July 2012: I noticed recently that Revlon’s “In the
Red” has been discontinued since I did this review. Sigh.
Another one bites the dust.
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Back-to-Basics Beauty Tips and Tricks
By Alexandra Gonzalez Repetto
How to heal dry skin, ace eyeliner application, curl stick-straight hair, and
master other beauty skills—each in three simple steps.
Makeup Lessons
How to Apply Foundation
1. Smooth primer onto your face. This creates an even canvas
and helps makeup last longer, especially if you have oily skin.
2. Put a dot of foundation on each cheek and your chin, nose,
and forehead.
Blend from the center of your face outward, using a damp
foundation brush or a makeup wedge for the thinnest coating.
You can also blend with just your fingers— your body heat will
help the formula melt into your skin for a more natural finish.
Extra credit: If your foundation tends to cake up, especially in
the creases around your nose and under your eyes, smooth it
out with a fingertip’s worth of eye cream.
How to Apply Highlighter
1. Form the letter C with your thumb and index finger. Place the thumb on your
cheekbone and the index finger on your brow bone.
2. Remove your hand and apply a small amount of cream, liquid, or powder
highlighter in the shape of that C, says Wende Zomnir, a cofounder of Urban Decay
cosmetics.
Blend well with your fingers. If you’re afraid you’ve gone overboard, tone the color
down by dusting a little loose powder on top, says Maggie Ford Danielson, a beauty
authority for Benefit Cosmetics.
Extra credit: Highlighter can do more than give you luminous skin; it’s also handy for
creating optical illusions. To make close-set eyes look farther apart, dab a bit onto the
inner eye corners. If you want your mouth to appear more shapely, apply highlighter
to the bow of your upper lip with a flat-tip brush. To make your face look slimmer,
sweep it down the center of your nose.
How to Create a Straight Line With Liquid or Pencil Eyeliner
1. Dot liner between your lashes, working from the inner corner of the eye to the
outer one.
2. Using light, feathery strokes, connect the dots. If you need to steady your hand,
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rest your elbow on your mirror or a table.
End the line where your lashes do, says Mikey Castillo, the director of color for the
makeup line Le Métier de Beauté. If you want a more theatrical cat-eye effect, extend
it straight past the end of your lash line just a tad.
Extra credit: Set the liner (and mask any wobbles) by tracing over it with a shadow
in the same color, using a thin, angled makeup brush.
How to Use an Eyelash Curler
1. Begin with clean, makeup-free lashes. (If you curl after applying mascara, the tool can stick to the makeup and damage
or yank out hairs.)
2. For allover curl, choose a full-width curler. To curl just the
outer corners of your lashes (a more eye-opening effect), pick
a mini curler. Position the tool as close as possible to the base
of your upper lashes and squeeze for a few seconds.
Move the curler slightly outward, to midlash, and gently
squeeze again for a second or two.
Extra credit: For more dramatic and lasting curl, blast the curler with a hair dryer for
a few seconds before you crimp. (It’s like using hot rollers on your hair. But make sure
to test the heat against your hand before applying!)
Makeup Tool Kit
Primer: Look for a color-correcting formula if your skin is
ruddy or sallow, a gel if it’s oily, and a cream if it’s dry.
Foundation: To find your ideal shade, test the product
near your jawline—not on your hand, which is usually
darker than your face.
Eyelash curler: A minimalist’s must-have, this sturdy tool
can be tossed in your bag for an instant lift even on no-makeup days.
Mascara: Trash it after three months. (Really.) And to avoid clumps, refrain from
pumping the wand in the tube; this dries out the makeup.
Clear brow gel: While it may not sound essential, nearly every makeup artist stashes
this no-color groomer in her kit. It makes even unplucked brows look polished, and it
can be used as mascara when you’re in a bind.
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Eye-shadow quad or trio: Skin-tone pinks and browns can take eyes of any color
from day to night; the brown can also fill in brows.
Eyeliner: A brown pencil is the most goofproof and suits everyone, says Jemma Kidd,
a London-based makeup artist.
Bronzer-and-blush duo: Use the bronzer where you would tan and the blush for a
pop of color on each cheek.
Tinted lip balm or moisturizing cream lipstick: Something a shade or two lighter
or deeper than your natural lip tone will complement everything else in your makeup
kit.
A big, fluffy brush: If you can have only one tool, this multitasker is good for blush,
bronzer, and loose powder.
Skin-Care Lessons
How to Wash Your Face
1. First wash your hands. Touching your face with dirty fingers can spread bacteria, which may lead to clogged pores
and breakouts.
2. You may not need to cleanse in the morning unless your
skin is oily or you’ve just exercised. At night, if you use longwear makeup, take it off with a waterproof-makeup remover
or a wipe. This will allow the cleanser to really penetrate the
skin.
Splash your face with cool or lukewarm water, then, with your fingertips, massage a
dollop of cleanser into your skin in a gentle circular motion to emulsify the product
fully, advises Luigi Polla, a dermatologist and the founder of the Alchimie Forever skincare line. Rinse with more water, then lightly pat dry with a towel.
Extra credit: Cream cleansers don’t always lather and dislodge debris as effectively
as gels do, so use them with a washcloth, says Elizabeth Tanzi, a dermatologist in
Washington, D.C. Don’t forget to wash the cloth after each use to avoid germs.
How to Handle a Blemish Without Leaving a Scar
1. Soak a washcloth in hot water, then wring it out. Hold it on the top of the whitehead until the washcloth cools.
2. Press down gently around the blemish for about 30 seconds with the cloth. This
should be enough to draw out the whitehead without squeezing, says Katie Rodan, a
dermatologist in Oakland and a cofounder of the Proactiv Solution skin-care line.
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3. Apply a treatment that contains benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid.
Extra credit: Handling a blemish before it’s ready (that is, before it’s white at the
top) may only push oil and debris in deeper, making the problem worse. To help bring
the pimple to the surface, use an oil-free medicated concealer (such as Clinique Acne
Solutions Clearing Concealer, $16.50, clinique.com) during the day; at night, apply a
drying treatment with sulfur or clay (like Mario Badescu Drying Lotion, $17,
How to Smooth Rough Skin
1. Add a cup of baking soda to a warm bath and soak in it for
10 minutes. Skin can get rough and dry, especially in places
like the heels and elbows, where the keratin cells can build up
in the horny outer layer, says Vermen Verallo-Rowell, a dermatologist in Kennebunkport, Maine. “Soda helps slough off the
thickened keratin and allows water to penetrate and hydrate
the deeper layers of skin cells,” she says.
2. After your bath, apply petroleum jelly to rough spots while
your skin is still damp, then slip into cotton clothing to further lock in moisture. Wear it
overnight if possible.
When the problem has cleared, include a daily moisturizer with an exfoliating alpha
hydroxy acid (such as Eucerin Professional Repair Extremely Dry Skin Lotion, $8 at
drugstores) in your regimen to improve your skin’s suppleness and appearance.
Extra credit: Consider applying virgin coconut oil (sold at health-food stores) along
with the petroleum jelly. It contains fatty acids that protect the skin’s barrier function.
How to Layer Skin-Care Products
1. Apply in order of consistency, lightest to heaviest, says Peter Thomas Roth, of the
eponymous skin-care line. First eye cream and serum, if you use them.
2. Next comes moisturizer.
Finally, sunscreen, which you need if your moisturizer doesn’t contain at least SPF 15.
Extra credit: In a pinch, you can use your eye cream as face cream. Your eye skin
tends to be the most sensitive on your face, so if you can use a product there, you
should be able to use it anywhere.
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Skin-Care Tool Kit
Now that you’ve mastered the techniques, here’s what you
need to get started.
Cleanser: If your skin is dry or sensitive, pick a mild, moisturizing cream. If your skin is combination or oily, go for a gel or a
foam. Or, for extra-deep cleaning on any skin type, try an oscillating cleansing brush.
Exfoliator: Options include scrubs of various grits and night creams with dead-cell–
removing chemical ingredients, such as glycolic acid. What you use and how often you
use it are a matter of personal preference and skin sensitivity. But all types will benefit
from shedding dead cells to make way for newer, healthier ones.
Eye cream: Yes, it’s essential. The undereye area has fewer hydrating oil glands than
elsewhere on the face, “so you have to compensate topically,” says Marcia Kilgore, a
facialist and the founder of the skin-care line Soap & Glory. Try one with moistureattracting hyaluronic acid and apply it morning or night.
Moisturizer: If your primary concern is aging, look for one with an antioxidant, like
vitamin C or retinol. If dry skin is your problem, choose a richer formula with hyaluronic acid or glycerin. For oily skin, look for salicylic acid to minimize shine and acne.
Sunscreen: There’s one for everyone. Physical-sunscreen ingredients, like titanium
dioxide and zinc, are better suited to sensitive skin. Chemical sunscreens, like Parsol
1789, may look less masky. The sunscreen-smell–phobic can use brush-on mineral
products (like Laura Mercier Mineral Powder SPF 15, $36, sephora.com), which are
odorless and can be swept over makeup.
Hair-Care Lessons
How to Wash and Condition Your Hair
1. Rub a quarter-size dollop of shampoo in your palms with a
little water to create lather. But don’t charge right in and start
scrubbing. First pat your hands over your head to distribute the
shampoo evenly, says Wendy Bélanger, the global artistic
director of Pureology Serious Colour Care.
2. Work the shampoo in with your fingertips (they won’t
scratch the scalp the way nails can), then rinse with warm
water.
Gather your hair into a ponytail in one hand and apply conditioner to the tail only.
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Even for people with short hair, this is generally the only part that needs additional hydration.
Extra credit: Hair can become dry if you shampoo more than a few times a week. If
you simply must wash it every day (because you exercise daily or your hair is very fine
and tends to get greasy), flip your routine and condition first. Apply conditioner all
over (don’t rinse it out yet), then add a small amount of shampoo and work it through.
After the conditioner’s moisturizing ingredients sink in, the shampoo shouldn’t remove
too much oil, says New York City–based celebrity stylist Mark Garrison. Rinse and
you’re done for the day.
How to Apply Dry Shampoo
1. “Use a powder dry shampoo if your hair is medium to thick,” says Edgar Parra, a
stylist at the Sally Hershberger salon in New York City. “An aerosol, which goes on
much lighter and adds volume, is better for finer hair.”
2. Separate your hair into two- to four-inchwide sections.
From about six inches away, sprinkle or spray the product
onto the roots, where oil can build up.
Massage the product into your scalp as if you’re shampooing.
Style as usual.
Extra credit: In a pinch, try cornstarch, an ingredient in
many dry shampoos.
How to Do an At-Home Blow-Out
1. Wash hair and prep it with mousse if you need volume, styling cream if you need
hydration.
2. Rough-dry by blowing air all around your head. When your hair is at least halfway
dry, you’re ready to begin styling (any sooner and the style might not take). Use a
round brush for volume or a flat-backed one to smooth.
First address any problem areas, such as a cowlick or frizz around your face, says celebrity stylist Oribe; if they dry wrong, they’re nearly
impossible to correct without starting over. Next, dry the rest of your hair in sections, working back from the
hairline (again, to ensure that the part people notice most looks its best).
Extra credit: To avoid frizz, slowly move the dryer from root to tip in one pass, says
New York City celebrity stylist Oscar Blandi. Don’t run it up and down the same length
of hair or you’ll cause the cuticles to open up.
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How to Make Any Kind of Hair Curl
1. Prep damp hair with a lightweight mousse. This will create enough tackiness to
hold some texture. Then rough-dry.
2. Generously mist hair with hair spray.
Starting at the hairline, twist a one-inch section of hair. Wind the twist around the barrel of a curling iron, away from your face. (Use a slim iron for tight curls, a thicker one
for loose waves.) Work from front to back until you’ve done your whole head.
Extra credit: To speed-curl hair, you can also use a flat iron. Twist a one- or two-inch
section, then clamp the twist vertically between the iron’s plates for 30 seconds; repeat until all hair is curled.
Hair-Care Tool Kit
Shampoo and conditioner: Whether you choose products
that are color-protective (for tinted hair), hydrating (for
dry), or deep-cleaning (for oily), keep in mind that you may
have to switch formulas periodically. Your hair’s needs can
change depending on the weather and how much you’ve
been heat styling, which can sap moisture from hair.
Leave-in conditioner: While you may not require extra
hydration daily, this styler can also double as a detangler
and a heat protector.
Dry shampoo: Besides absorbing oil from unwashed hair, it can add body and texture to clean hair.
Flexible-hold hair spray: The newer, lighter formulas keep an updo in place and
also tame frizz and give hair some lift.
A good hairbrush: Boar-bristle brushes tend to be best at distributing natural oils,
but they’re often expensive. If they’re out of your price range, look for a combination
of boar and plastic bristles.
A hair dryer: The most important tool to invest in. An ionic machine with a high wattage (at least 1,200) will help reduce damage by speeding up drying time. And less
damage equals more shine.
A flat iron: Sure, it can straighten. But even people with straight hair can use it to
help seal cuticles and amplify shine.
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Better Brows and Lashes
By: WEBMD
How to Get Perfect Brows
Craving a movie star's eyebrows? The perfect brow size and
shape for your face depends on your own features. If your
brow were divided into thirds, the thick end should start at
the bridge of your nose. The arch should be around the
middle. The thin end should go just past the corner of your
eye.
Get Thicker Brows
Fill in sparse brows with a powder, pencil, or gel. Go
two shades lighter than your hair color if you’re brunette, two shades darker if you have pale blonde or
silver hair. When in doubt, taupe works on almost
everyone. Use tiny strokes over your arches and blend
with a brow brush to remove extra color.
Skip the Stencils
The perfect brow is based on your unique bone
structure. Using a stencil to draw on your brows may
seem like it takes the guesswork out of shaping. But
you may not like the results. A stenciled brow that's
just a little bit off can make you look angry,
surprised, older, or even lopsided. No thanks! Better
to work with your natural brow shape.
Make Brows Match Your Hair
If you make a dramatic hair color change, your
brows should change, too. You’ll want to see a
professional colorist. Don't dye your brows at
home, even if you have a really steady hand. Need
a quick fix? Blend mascara or concealer into your
brows to instantly go darker or lighter.
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Get The Natural Look
Actress Camilla Belle proves you don't need whipthin, sculpted brows to look modern. To get yours as
lush as possible, don't pluck a single hair for three
months. Then have them shaped professionally or
pluck only the most obvious strays yourself. Use a
brow filler for better definition.
Use the Right Tweezers
Rounded tip or pointy? Experts like a pointed, slanted
tip, especially if you haven't plucked before. You can
hold that shape easily and grab longer hairs. For those
short, stubborn hairs, turn the tweezer at an angle and
pull from the pointed edge
Can You Pluck The Tops?
It's OK as long as you focus on the peach fuzz there
and on your temples. Most of the real shaping should
happen underneath to lift the brow up. Pluck too much
off the top and you could get flat brows that make you
look scowly.
When to Put the Tweezers Down
If you see a teeny little dot of hair growing under
the skin, resist the urge to pull it. You don’t want
to break the skin and risk a scar. Wait a day and
that little hair probably will poke through the surface, ready to be plucked. In the meantime, if it
bothers you, cover it with concealer.
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Let a Pro Guide You
If you aren't sure about your own brow judgment, a
salon specialist can find the best shape for your
face. Snap a few photos for reference at home. To
keep your new look fresh, lightly pluck new hair
growth once a week. For best results, make another
appointment four to six weeks later
Open Your Eyes
Curled lashes make you look wide-eyed. Do it before you put on mascara. Use firm pressure but
don't clamp down too hard. You don't want to
pinch your skin, crease your lashes, or pull them
out. You may get better results from curling in
stages, moving out from the lash roots to the tips.
A corner lash curler can get to hard-to-reach outer
ones.
Brush Up on Your Mascara
Your mascara matters for making lashes look fuller or
longer. The brush matters, too! Rubber bristles coat
even the tiniest lashes from root to tip, adding length.
Plastic bristles give you a clean, natural-looking lash
line. Fiber bristles build lash thickness and boost the
fringe. If you like your mascara but want a new look,
try using a different brush. You can buy them at beauty
stores
Smooth Moves to Prevent Clumping
You don't want eyes that look like scary spiders!
Dip the brush in the tube and wipe it on a paper
towel (not a tissue) to get rid of extra mascara.
Another trick: Twirl a clean, disposable mascara
wand through wet lashes. For easy, no-scrub
cleanup, loosen the mascara with a warm, damp
washcloth. Press it against your closed eyes. Next,
dip a cotton pad into a makeup remover for
sensitive eyes. Wipe the pad downward on your
lashes a few times.
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Don't Flake Out
By the end of the day, do you get flecks of mascara
on your cheeks? Look for a "tubing" mascara.
Tubing formulas tend not to flake because they
encase lashes. When you remove the mascara with
warm water, it slides off as complete tubes. Expert
tip: Set your regular mascara with a tubing kind
Fabulous Fakes
False lashes equal pure Hollywood glamour, but
they can be tricky to master. They come in full
strips and individual lashes. Hold the lash with a
pair of tweezers while you put a dot of glue on your
upper eyelid. Let the glue thicken, and then use the
tweezers to guide the lash to your lid. If you have
dark skin, try a dark-tone glue made for brown or
black lashes.
Lash Extensions: Pros and Cons
Short on patience -- or time? Lash
extensions can give you a long, full, lush
fringe for two to three weeks. The catch is
you can't wear mascara. (You might not
want to anyway.) And you will probably
have to keep them completely dry. So get a
pair of swim goggles to wear while you
shower or wash your hair. No kidding!
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The Exploits of Barbara Marie
A LESSON LEARNED THE HARD WAY!
BY
BARBARA MARIE DAVIDSON
Well, ladies, you know all of the signs and advertisements you read, see and hear about
cell phones and texting, using your “blue tooth”. Well they are all true. I am a living
example of what can go wrong when you least expect it. January 23rd, my son asked me
to follow him to take his motorcycle to the shop and bring him home. I had just left my
garage and stared down my drive way, when my cell phone rang. The blue tooth in the
car had not kicked in yet. My drive way is over 700 feet long and lined with dogwood
trees. I was only doing about 20 mph when I picked up the phone to see who was calling.
About that same moment, my car veered slightly to the right and hit one of the dogwood
trees on the right front of the car. I did not think that I was hurt but I was mistaken. I did
have several scrapes on my right arm.
I am on coumadin (a blood thinner) for Atrial Fib and the therapeutic level (INR) is
between 2 and 3. Mine that morning was 2.7. Needless to say, the damage to my car
amounted to over $9,000 (nine Thousand dollars), all because of a stupid mistake on my
part. It took a while for me to stop the “bleeding due to my INR.
Several days later, I began to develop a hematoma (bleeding into my thigh) Apparently
my thigh had hit the steering wheel, as well as my right cheek. When I realize that I was
developing the hematoma in my thigh, I did what I have done in the past that was to put
myself on bed rest with an ice bag to my thigh. Well, that created another problem, one
that was a little more serious in the long run. I thought that I was keeping my self
hydrated and eating different things, but apparently I was not. It is a long way from my
bedroom to the kitchen. On February the 7th, I was in the kitchen fixing my self something
to eat, when I got very dizzy and short of breath.. I drank some gater ade and lay down
for a while then got dressed and went to the ER. On arrival, my pulse was 40 and my
blood pressure was 80 over 40, which are not good. This was brought on by my lack of
fluids and improper eating, which resulted in my electrolytes being all screwed up. My
Potassium was high, my sodium was low, my hemaglobulin was low (due to the
hematoma), and my blood sugar was high. Basically, I was in trouble, big time.
I was admitted to CCU – cardiac care unit - that became my home away from home for 3
days. After two liters of NACL (saline), and multiple lab test, my blood work began to
return to normal and I began to feel more like my “old” self again. To digress slightly, this
was an excellent opportunity for me to do some out reach as some of the folks taking care
of me never knew “Bill” who use to work there.. Many had never met a transgendered
person like my self, so I did a lot of out reach during my stay there about my transition to
the person I have become today.
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On the third day just about every thing had returned to normal and the doctors felt that I
could go home. Thus on the Saturday afternoon, I was allowed to go home. I was to make
an appointment with a GI doctor to make sure that there was not any thing going on with
my GI tract that could possibly cause my slight anemia, (I had a colonoscopy that was
normal 2 years ago.). I also have a follow up with my family doctor in a week to insure
that my labs were all back. I swa the orthopedic doctor on Monday about my leg and was
told to keep some moist heat on it when I was sitting down. He also gave me an excuse to
miss the jury selection I was to attend on the 13th of February..
So ladies, take heed about some of these warnings that you see and read about.. It could
happen to you in a flash when you least expect it. I was lucky as it could have been much,
much worst than it was. I hope that all of you have/had a wonderful valentines with that
special person in your life. Also, Remember that every one is Irish on St Patrick’s Day
and it does not have to come out of a bottle. Be sure to celebrate that day with your
favorite Lass or Lassie. Keep it safe and don’t eat too much green grits, or corn beef and
cabbage and don’t drink too much green beer either.
Yours
Barbara Marie Davidson.
The Adventures of Judy Sometimes
By: Judy Danials
A little culture
Well, its been a while since my Sundress group has had a bit of culture,
but last night we were treated to some by one of our very own.
Our friend Christine had a special event last night unveiling her self published book, Wiener
Dogs & Other Muses | Poetry by Christine Hoper, she also writes a blog called Red River Girl.
The event took place at another friend of ours place of business called D|K Custom Framing @
Gallery 14, a quaint little space in downtown Fargo right across from the fire station.
Several of us met at the VFW for a cocktail beforehand and were treated to a plate full of
brownies with chocolate frosting by our favorite bartender Andrea (or Andy as we call her). I'm
not so sure they go so well with Captain Morgan...but are you really going to turn down a
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brownie, lol.
The VFW and DK's are several blocks a part and with the winds gusting at 40mph and raining
we decided to drive over, which ended up being a big mistake. After not finding a parking spot
we ended up hoofing it anyway and needless to say it didn't do anything for my hair. Its one of
the few times I wish I actually wore a wig, lol.
When we arrived we did our best to help each other put ourselves together before going in the
front door. I'm glad I did because there were already about 20 people seated for the start of the
event which was set up facing the entrance we had just came through. OK, call me vane, but my
hair is a very important part of me feeling comfortable when going out dressed. I guess I had
nothing to worry about as soon as we entered our hostess Denise and our lady of honor gave us
big hugs and thanked us for coming. I was also greeted by several other familiar faces I hadn't
seen for quiet sometime.
As the event got going I quickly settled into a calmness that now has become second nature at
such events. Who knew a guy dressed as a women would have no problems fitting right into a
room full of people.
As the event was winding down several other lady friends started to inquire about plans for the
rest of the evening. It was decided that we would continue the merriment at our home bar Duffys. Once there we shoved a couple tables together to accomadate our rather large group and we
chatted the evening away. Geez, I really do have the best friends in the world.
As I sit here writing this I am at our cabin with a roaring fire going waiting for our "girl only"
weekend to start. This could get fun, I'll report in on Sunday sometime and fill you in on the
details.
Judy (It looks like a jeans and sweatshirt kind of weekend) sometimes
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Tasi’s Musings
Greetings from Merida.
Most of you are familiar with aloe vera which is used extensively in
cosmetics, particularly on facial tissues where it is promoted as a
moisturizer and/or anti-irritant to reduce chafing of the nose of users
suffering hay-fever or cold. Did you know that aloe came from a cactus,
or so I thought so, until a little research told me otherwise. It’s actually a
succulent plant, a family of which cacti are members. It grows wildly
throughout most of the southern Border States.
throughout most of the southern Border
States.
Why all this interest in cacti….well this plant is growing in my
backyard patio and it turns out to be an aloe plant – looked like a
cactus to me with those sharp pointy, spiny tips. So in walks my
Spanish teacher. We usually sit in the outdoor patio to do our
Spanish lessons and this plant is growing next to the patio as a
garden decoration. She burned herself this one particular morning
and asked if she could cut off one of the plant tips. I said “sure”. So
she proceeds to cut off a tip and squeeze the nectar onto her burnt finger. Almost within
seconds the burn stopped hurting. Seems this plant has great medicinal value even though
scientists say there is little scientific evidence for the claim. The Mexican folks here would
disagree. It’s used widely as a burn ointment.
Other uses include products such as makeup, tissues, moisturizers, soaps, sunscreens, incense,
shaving cream or shampoos and get this, extracts of aloe vera include the dilution of semen for
the artificial fertilization of sheep, as a fresh food preservative, or for water conservation in
small farms. Seems I have a readymade pharmacy in my backyard.
In the News
Another Bathroom Bill. A prominent Republican lawmaker in Arizona wants to link public
bathroom use to birth certificates in what civil rights advocates are calling the nation’s toughest
anti-transgender measure. The bill would require people to use public restrooms, dressing
rooms or locker rooms associated with the sex listed on their birth certificate or face six months
in jail. What in the world is going on in Arizona?
21
My Kind of Ball Player. 6-foot-6-inch, 220-pound Gabrielle
Ludwig joined the Mission College Lady Saints as a mid-season
walk-on and became the first transsexual to play college hoops
as both a man and a woman. Nicknamed "Big Sexy" Now every
woman’s program in the nation is searching for transsexuals to
add to their rosters.
New Look doesn’t want to look, another fashion store disaster.
A young trans woman was barred from using the changing
rooms at New Look. The store chain management says their
policies were misunderstood. According to them ‘New Look
welcomes transgendered customers. In stores which have
regular transgendered customers, store management allows full access to the changing rooms,
but encourages trans people to make regular appointments to accommodate their needs.
‘Arrangements are made at the discretion of the store management.’ Although this issue is less
volatile than the bathroom issue, it still happens.
Actually. read the comments from the women. Trans women and crossdressers do need to use
discretion so as not to make other women uncomfortable. When I first started shopping in stores
enfemme, I’d call ahead and ask if it was OK to shop there and use the changing rooms. That
became unnecessary after a while but if the store is busy, make friends with the manager and be
guided accordingly.
Portland Bar Discriminates. Life can be tough when you’re trans. Oregon's labor commissioner
has filed formal charges of unlawful discrimination against a north Portland bar. The investigation into the Twilight Room Annex, formerly known as the P Club, began last August. The Bureau of Labor and Industries said the bar's owner, Chris Penner, left phone messages asking a
group of transgender customers to stop visiting his business. The group, known as the Rose
City T-Girls, said they had been going to the P Club on Friday nights for two years.
No outcome yet, but this one will likely have a positive result for the trans community
Charlie White's 'Teen And Transgender Comparative Study' Pairs
Girls And Trans Women. Stunning
photos from a 2008 project by artist
Charlie White pair teen girls with
their transgender adult female
doppelgängers. Titled the "Teen and
Transgender Comparative Study,"
White's project is "a correlation of
two stages of transformation,
pairing teen girls with like adult male-to-female" transgender women. Most interesting.
22
Brene Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, and love. In a
poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent
her on a personal quest to know her as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share
Books and Movies
More books than ever. Now in their twenty-fifth year, the Lambda Literary Awards celebrate
achievement in lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) writing for books published in
2012. Winners will be announced during a ceremony on Monday evening, June 3, 2013,
Lambda Literary Foundation set a new record in 2013 for both the number of LGBT books
submitted for Lammy consideration, 687, and the number of publishers participating, 332. This
beats the record-setting numbers in 2012 of 600 titles by over 250 publishers and is the fourth
consecutive year of growth in submissions and publishers.
Bob's New Suit" explores identity, gender transitioning. “Bob’s New Suit” has its L.A.
theatrical premiere on Friday, March 22, at the Arena Cinema in Hollywood, CA 90028. The
DVD release will be on March 26 and the VOD release will be on April 8. Click HERE to
reserve your copy.
The Switch Meet Sü. Last week she was an upwardly-mobile software manager, at a place
where her coworkers all knew her as Erwin. Life was normal enough and good enough. When
Sü came out as a transsexual, she promptly lost her job. Her
apartment followed. About half of the team members are trans*
-identified themselves. The show’s content is often irreverent
and quirky, but it’s born from intimate awareness and lived
experience. The folks working behind the scenes share a lot in
common with the characters in the show: a group populated by
queers, activists, trans* individuals, kinksters, weirdoes, and
East Van rabble-rousers.
Mexican actress Kate del Castillo shines in K-11, the new
prison thriller from director Jules Stewart (the mother of
Twilight darling Kristen Stewart and her brother Cameron, who
both have cameos in the film). Del Castillo plays a transgender
woman named Mousey, who rules her dormitory with an iron,
manicured fist. After a successful run on the festival circuit,
K-11 is now screening in theaters and available On Demand.
'Return of the Prodigal Son" a full length motion picture/
documentary that explores the faith base belief that gets
transgenders through such a life changing ordeal, up close
interviews, straight up street talk with the public, a movie that takes a hard look at the science,
psychological, medical and spiritual aspects of the phenomenon that seems to be sweeping
through the heart, mind and soul of humanity.
23
Fashion and Beauty
A few weeks ago, a Glamour reader wrote in asking for
specific advice on how exactly a woman can know if her bra
"fits." As in, what should it look like? Where the band should
be placed? How should the straps fit? Well, ladies, Glamour
responded as we check in with Liz Smith, Wacoal's bra expert,
and got the inside scoop.
"A great-fitting bra should lift, support, contain, and be comfortable," she says. "If you're looking in a mirror, all of your
breast tissue should be contained in the cups, and the
underwire should completely clear your breast tissue. The
center of the bra, called a bridge, gore, or center front, should
touch your chest wall. Your straps should stay up on your
shoulders once adjusted. The back of the bra needs to sit low
and snug on your back to anchor the bra. If the back of the bra
rides up, the girls are going to head south in the front." Smith
also suggests the Elbow Test. "Stand sideways to a mirror
and bend your arm at the elbow with you palm facing down. Your bust should be centered
between your shoulder and elbow in the middle of your arm."
Occasionally I’m asked about styles (surprise!) and what is current and looks good. I’m a hugh
fan of peplum, particularly for us apple-shaped gals because it helps create an illusion of a
waistline. So when I ran across this advertisement from Fashion to Figure for a deep dive
textured peplum dress, I just had to share it. It’s sexy too
And then don’t miss Glamour’s new video channel. Lots of fun stuff to watch here and you’ll
get your fashion fix for the week.
Humor
A husband and wife fantasy. Can you guess the ending/
The 1920s look from CD Mira. Do you love it or not?
Apart we're fashionable. Together we're The Stylish. Join the best dressed social network!
The Stylish is a premiere YouTube channel owned by Magical Elves, the producers behind
Project Runway and Top Chef. It is the leading online source for fashion, beauty and personal
style videos and is affiliated with InStyle Magazine.
And while you are checking the channel, watch the latest episode of Willam’s Beatdown
Willam always says he’ll put anything in his mouth, but now it’s time for him to prove it! On
this episode of Willam’s Beatdown, you can enjoy glue eating, a crotch shot and the baby food
challenge. All the while beating down PrankvsPrank, ItsKingsleyBitch, EleventhGorgeous and
Piink Sparkles. Happy Friday Bitches!!
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Cat Woman Candy sings Help Yourself To My Lips. Terrible video but the outfit is great.
Just for Fun
This older couple playing an impromptu piano duet https://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=TZwdtwi5ngI is fantastic and a must watch.
This brief view of Swan Lake performed by the Great Chinese State Circus is undoubtly one of
the most incredible performances of this classic opera ever. Be prepared to be amazed.
And lastly, for those of us that love to sail and if you have read this far, this is a real treat, the
Oracle racing in San Francisco bay with speeds up to 40 MPH. The film is 23 minutes long but
if you love sailing, you’ll love this.
So Until next month
Second Cover Girl Contest Coming
A suggestion was made that we have a separate cover girl contest for those of us girls who were
over the age of 65. On March 22nd I created a poll asking the age of the members. While at the
time I write this is early in that poll it seems that 55% of us who responded are over the age of
60.
As a result starting with the May issue there will be a second cover girl contest that will be for
those of us who are over the age of 60. While the regular cover girl contest will be open to all
members regardless of age, the second contest will only be for those over 60 years of age. Girls
who are 60+ may enter both contest if they wish.
Watch for a new set of cover girl rules to come this month.
25
Humor
I AM A FATHER
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on
backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who was a priest, said, " I am a Father." The little boy replied "My Daddy doesn't
wear his collar like that."
The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many." The boy said, "My
Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way.
The priest getting impatient said "I am the Father of hundreds," and went back to reading his
book.
The little boy sat quietly...but on leaving the bus he leaned over and said, "Well. maybe you
should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar."
26
Angels In The Centerfold
Abby Lauren
Bobbie Vance
Veronica
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Tammy Trueheart
Stephanie Monroe
Lena Gibbson
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Francine
G
e
r
r
y
S
e
v
i
g
n
y
Jan Brown
29
Holly Kaye
Denise DeMann
Barbara Marie
30
Mellissalynn’s Tips & Tricks
Hello, ladies, and welcome to spring! Not that it FEELS like spring yet, but the calendar says
it’s so, anyway. I hope it’s found you ready to start showing bare legs and feet!
I hope you had a good month! Mine was a mixed bag, to say the least. On
the professional side of things, I learned a lot of new things and am
steadily getting better at my chosen new profession. I attended America’s
Beauty Show, which is a big hair and beauty convention in Chicago. It
was held at McCormick Place, and was HUGE! I dropped a lot of money
there, but I have a lot to show for it too.
Here’s a picture of one of the new styles I’ve been working on in school.
You’ll see more of this in one of my tips, where I explain how to create the
look. I’m really proud of how this looks!
The personal side of things wasn’t so good. My son went down to house-sit for my sister-inlaw at the beginning of March. Well, against my wishes, his girlfriend/fiancée joined him there.
So one evening I’m at home getting ready to eat dinner when I get a collect call. It’s my son,
calling from the county jail! It seems the girlfriend decided to go on an unpaid-for shopping
spree and tucked about $200 worth of items into her purse. My son and she had split up to go
to different areas, and he had no knowledge of what she’d done. They were both arrested;
thankfully, his prior and hopefully future Navy time got him a JAG lawyer to please his case.
He ended up receiving, through having done absolutely nothing wrong, 40 hours of community
service and a two-year ban from Wal-Mart. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong
time…
Anyway! If any of you have a horror story about being arrested to share, or a good story about
a hair show, or just want to chat, my e-mail is always open. In case anyone has forgotten, the
address is mlatjnadhmelly@gmail.com. I really want to hear what you think of my styling
pictures especially, so feel free to write me!
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So we have this neat thing we do on Saturdays at school called Princess Parties. What that
entails is, a group of young ladies, usually tweens or even a little younger, are brought in for
like a birthday party or something. They get a hairstyle (usually a bit of braiding or an updo),
their fingers and toes polished, some makeup, and then a small party with cake.
Well, I had a young lady a couple of weeks ago who was the birthday girl of the party, and
wanted something special in her hair. I had just the thing, thankfully! I had gone to a thrift
store and found a bunch of very pretty costume brooches that I picked up for a quarter a pop. I
bought them for exactly what I used one for, to decorate a hairstyle. I put the brooch, a nicelyshaped diamond affair studded with rhinestones, right in the center of the young lady’s coif.
She was ecstatic! Her mother liked it as well, enough so that I got a $5 tip.
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This idea isn’t just for younger girls, as I’ve seen plenty of adult women wearing items in their
hair as well. So, if you want to add a little bit of bling to your look, here’s an easy and
inexpensive idea. You can find brooches like I’m talking about at your local dollar store. Give
it a shot!
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As I stated in my intro to the column, it’s spring. This is a good time to go through your
makeup and sort out the stuff that’s expired, you don’t use, or just needs replaced. Remember,
mascara only has a shelf life of three months once it’s open!
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You may have heard about beauty balms in the magazines and on the news. Well, while I was
at the hair show, I found someone selling them, and purchased a tube. I’ll be reporting on how
it works for me soon, so stay tuned to this column for more developments!
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We all crave the bright-eyed look, girls. Fake it with a sumptuous set of dramatic lashes!
Thanks to several revolutionary new mascaras, no false lashes are required, although they can
be used to pump up the volume on those special nights out. Just sweep two coats of mascara
onto lashes, making sure to comb lashes between applications. For even greater effect, sweep a
third coat on just the outer lashes, creating a wing effect. You’ll love it!
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According to many professional makeup artists, the most underrated element of a beautiful
makeup look is the eyebrows. The shape, including where your brow arches, where it's wide
and where it's thin, is the key. Here's how to give yourself an eyebrow makeover.
Look at the inside corner of your eye, where it's closest to your nose. Pick up a pencil, a
makeup brush or a ruler - anything long, straight and slender. From the inside corner of your
eye, follow a line straight up. If you've got an eyeliner or eyebrow pencil, mark where the line
crosses your eyebrow. Do the same from the inner corner of your other eye.
If you have hair inside the two marks, you’re close to a unibrow situation, which is to be
avoided at all costs! Pluck all that hair out, but be careful not to over-pluck. If your eyebrows
don't reach the marks above the inner corners of your eyes, then you need to fill those parts in
with a pencil.
Take your pencil, makeup brush or ruler and hold it against the outer corner of one of your
nostrils. Hold it at an angle so that it crosses the bottom outer corner of your iris. (Not the eye
itself, but the outer edge of your iris when you're looking straight ahead.) Follow the line
upward until it crosses your eyebrow. That's where your eyebrow arch needs to be at its highest,
the peak of the arch. To create an arch where there is none, gently pluck hairs from the brow
32
bone. Always pluck from the bottom and not the top (with the exception of removing strays
from the top of the brow). The arch should start coming down immediately after this peak.
Taking the pencil, makeup brush or ruler to your nose again, line it up at the outer edge of the
nostril and let the line go to the edge of the eye and continue up until it crosses the brow area.
That's where your brow should end.
Try using taupe eye shadow to fill in any sparse areas and give an arch a natural-looking
emphasis. Even very light-skinned blondes should use taupe; it will define the brow without
washing it out. Redheads, or anyone with a reddish tone in the skin, should choose a taupe or
neutral color with a little amber in it, and dark-skinned people should try some brown shades
until they get the right one.
As always, your first and best bet is to get your brows shaped first by an expert, at least for the
first time (soon, that will be me!). After that, it's easy for you to just follow the shape the stylist
has given you.
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The upside down braid. That’s the style I showed you at the beginning of the column. Well,
it’s really easy to create and can be very versatile.
This works best on longer hair, at least shoulderlength. It can be done on a shoulder-length wig as
well. Gather your hair into a ponytail, preferably
around the nape of the neck, but can be all the way up
to the occipital area of your head. Create a hole in
the hair just above the ponytail holder (a.k.a. the hair
band). Gather the hair below the holder and pull it
through the hole. This will give the hair a twist.
At this point, you can do several things with the hair. You can leave it in a simple ponytail.
You can braid the hair below the holder, as I showed in the earlier picture. You can create an
updo with it. It’s one of the more versatile styles I’ve seen, and extremely easy to create. Have
fun with it!
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All right, so you didn’t listen to Mellissa’s germ-phobic tips and got a zit. You squeezed it, and
now you have a blotchy red mark.
As a soon-to-be esthetician, I can tell you that improper squeezing pushes the cellular debris
(a.k.a. the pus) in a pimple deeper into the pore, resulting in inflammation and redness. To
soothe and heal a red mark, dab on a one percent cortisone cream at bedtime. To hide the mark,
33
dab it with a green concealer stick; the green will counteract the red and hide the spot better.
Dot on some foundation.
Of course, the best thing to do is to resist the urge to pop a pimple. Instead, use a cleanser
containing salicylic acid, which exfoliates the dead cells that clog pores
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Girls, nails have issues. From breaks to stains, tears to chips, nail nuisances can strike at the
most inopportune times. Well, here are some quick repairs that you can do in the nick of time,
at minimal costs. It only takes minutes to work makeover magic. With these five tips and a few
inexpensive supplies (polish remover, bleach, cuticle oil, plastic wrap, nail glue and a tea bag),
you’ll have amazing hands!
1. Yellow Nails — Soak your nails in one-fourth cup of bleach mixed with one-half cup of water.
2. Not Quite Dry — Coat wet nails with cuticle oil and cover your nails with plastic wrap.
3. Polish Smudge — Moisten the pad of your finger with polish remover and tap lightly to
smooth it out.
4. Chipped Polish — Moisten your finger with polish remover and quickly swipe over the
chipped area to smooth out the edges.
5. Broken Nail — If the break isn’t too low, carefully cut the nail, file it, and trim the other nails
so they’re of equal length. For a big break (one that’s in the nail bed), apply a couple of drops
of nail glue to the surface of the nail. Let set and hold the break in place for about a minute.
Reapply glue and cover the nail with a piece of tea bag or tissue. Let dry, and then buff excess
off.
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One of the biggest giveaways for a T-girl is her nose. Not the size or the shape, but the contents. Men get humongous nose hairs; women just don’t. So if you’re going out for a night on
the town en femme, remember to trim your nose hairs! It isn’t hard and will help in your
feminine presentation.
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Being a woman is more than just looking like one. You need to be able to talk like a woman,
especially with other women. This isn’t a tip on changing your voice; that’s outside my
purview for this column. What I want to talk about is the content of your conversation.
Can you spot a Manolo Blahnik from a Jimmy Choo? What does Prada mean to you? This is
what I’m talking about. Become knowledgeable in the areas of makeup, beauty and fashion.
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There is a lot more to all of these subjects than most men could ever imagine. If you want to
present yourself as a woman, invest the time in learning about these things. Believe me, it’s
worth it.
A good place to start is the beauty section of the library. Even before I started school I spent a
lot of time in this section learning and reading up on stuff. Also, the women’s magazines are
almost required reading. I subscribe to Glamour, Lucky, and Allure, to name a few, and used to
subscribe to several more. I find Allure in particular to be helpful, as there is almost always a
pullout beauty guide for one topic or another. Read whatever works best for you, but please
remember that other women are watching and waiting to talk to you…
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This tip is for the girls, like me, who are fortunate enough to have real hair to play with. Dust
your hair! Go to a hairstylist for a mini-trim called a "dusting" (named for the fine dust of hair
left on the floor afterward).What this does is clears up split ends and improves your hair’s
health. Not only do split ends look scraggly, but they can also travel further up the hair strands
faster if they aren't nipped in the bud. That just causes more breakage and loss of length, which
is sad for all concerned.
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So you’ve got chapped lips, but you have a big to-do to go to and want pretty lips Here’s a way
to help your lips become healthy and gorgeous at the same time. Apply a coat of lip balm to
your lips first, then apply the lipstick. The balm will help treat your lips and at the same time
helps the lipstick stay on longer. Win-win!
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Stake out salon training nights. Many top hair salons offer low-cost cuts on training nights,
where student stylists work their magic (under the close watch of their more senior colleagues).
You can get great work done for a fraction of the cost, and have a lot of fun too!
@@@@@@@@@@@
Was that really the end of the column? Already? Wow…how time flies when you’re having
fun, huh?
Go forth and enjoy April, sisters! Wear the pretty springtime dresses and peep-toe sandals, and
stuff! And don’t forget the cameras, because we always want to see pictures…!
If you have pictures to share, or you want to talk about spring, or time, or any other subject,
once again, feel free to write me at mlatjnadhmelly@gmail.com . I love to hear from my readers!
35
New Yahoo Group
Girls, Tasi Zuriach has created a new Yahoo group
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thetgwoman
This group offers support to the transgender woman and her spouse or significant
other as they chose. Where ever you are on the transgender spectrum, searching,
dreaming, experimenting, cross dresser, transsexual, part-time, full-time, or
transitioned, you are welcome here. We also encourage members from all around the
world to participate so we can learn the many different ways that we express ourselves
globally.
Our purpose is to explore this wonderful and magical world of femininity and the ssues
that all of us face in this journey to enlightenment.
This is a nonsexual discussion group so be mindful that you don’t cross that boundary
To join, you should have a (Yahoo) profile and an appropriate picture for a lady,
preferably a facial shot, and your name and age, and no connection to inappropriate
sites
36
Rhonda’s Ramblings
Games
I share a few games recently "invented"/played, which I will
entitle Games for the (Im)mature Cross-dresser Try (or
avoid), at your own risk:
1)
Is it Real or is it Mama Rex?:
In bubba mode, take a fem photo for mounting at a frame shop. Ask the clerk if it
resembles you. My saleslady thoughtfully looked back and forth several times between
me and the photo, finally concluding “Yes, it does; are you related??" Muster courage
to reply "I'll give you 4 choices... it is either 1) my daughter; 2) my cousin; 3) my twin
sister; or 4) me. What do you think?"
2)
Red Carpet Treatment:
Paint toes bright red, then shop for carpet. My salesman invited me to take off my
shoes to test the softness of the fabric. Forgetting the polish, I took off both shoes and
socks, surprising myself more than him. My face turned a brighter red than my toes as
I hopped behind a display rack, obviously not unnoticed, to put socks back on! Poorly
played! I am sure any of you could improve on this game! Thoughts welcome!
3)
Panty roulette:
This is a simple game, requiring only a ceiling fan and his and hers panties. Each
player spears his/her panties on separate blades. Begin fan rotation. Last panty on the
blades wins. Extra points for spiking bed or lamp posts, ears, or other inviting targets.
Points for longest toss. Game set-up can also be fun… take turns tossing garments
onto the blades…. Not as easy as you might think! But if you get the “hang of it", try
with blades rotating. Be prepared for whiplash, as blades often return items to sender.
If adventurous, try bras. But be prepared for entanglement of game pieces and appropriate explanations to maintenance crew required to fix your fan! I may try this one
before my carpet salesman visits to take room measurements.
WARNING: If you have as much fun as me, be prepared to pay amusement tax.
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“THE RAMBLINGS OF A MARRIED TGIRL.”
Part 2- So I came out to my wife, what next?
By: Stephanie Rene
I hope this article finds all my cool, chick friends around the world doing well. I came out to
the wife on January 2, 2013 as detailed in Part 1 and I’m continuing the saga with what has
happened since. Needless to say, it has been a roller coaster of emotions for my wife, but a
huge relief of a burden I had carried for too many years.
For the first couple weeks following my coming out to my wife, we had almost daily
conversations about my “girl” side and the whole tg/cd/tv/ts community. My wife’s feelings
drifted between being jealous about anyone who might find me attractive, buy me drinks or
pay me compliments to concern about losing me. I felt tremendous relief in her commitment
to save our relationship and desire to work through this. However, she also looked my desire
to dress and be a woman initially as some type of hobby or fetish. After numerous
conversations, many times with one of us in tears, it finally hit her that this transgendered side
of me was something very emotional. When that light bulb went off, her understanding and
acceptance started to improve.
I’ve printed and given her articles written by other wives. These have helped her learn more,
however, she has resisted offers to meet other couples or attend any conferences. I’m still
working on getting her together with some other spouses in a social setting.
While I’m a lot more open with all the aspects of being Stephanie, there are still awkward
moments. I go out at least once a week and before leaving, I find myself explaining where I’m
going, what I’m doing and when I’ll be home. During the outing, I always get a text message
from her requesting a photo of me. So, I’ll have someone take the photo and then I text back
to her. This seems to help her somehow.
In the second week following coming out to her, I finally got her to sit down and go thru
photos of myself on Facebook. I could see the shock and fascination on her face. She studied
the photos and was amazed that she could not recognize the man she knows in any of them.
So I took it as a compliment that I “transform” well.
On January 25th, she went out with me for the first time. We went to a very nice bar and grill
where everyone knows “Stephanie” very well. I’ve been going to this place for many years
and have a closer relationship with the staff, which always includes a greeting with a hug.
Funny, when I walk in the bartender will ask if I want my usual which consists of a glass of
red tempranillo wine. We were treated like royalty with an excellent dinner and a
complimentary dessert. All of the staff made a point of stopping by to visit and be introduced
to my wife. This was also an eye opening experience for her because of how nice, friendly and
accepting everybody was, regardless of where we went around the city.
After dinner, I took her to see a drag show. I don’t go to drag shows very often anymore, but
thought it was a safe bet. Since I’ve been going out in this area since 1989, I know most of the
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drag queens personally having seen their shows and dropped hundreds of dollars on tips for
their dances. The performers made a point of stopping by to say hello to me and meet my
“companion” for the evening. I’m blessed with having a very attractive Hispanic wife and they
made sure to let her know that she was beautiful. Unexpectedly, a very good tgirl friend and
her spouse showed up at this club. My friend was in boy drab and had stopped in only to wish
someone happy birthday. However, it was an opportunity for my wife to meet another married
“girl” and spouse. Future dinner plans were made with this couple as the two wives seemed to
hit it off with their short, but pleasant conversation. Needless to say, the first outing went very
well and allowed her to have a much better understanding of Stephanie and our community.
The big test came on February 8th, when we attended to a huge
“Fetish Party” at a night club in Scottsdale. We both got dolled up
in pretty corsets, short skirts, fishnet stockings and boots for the
night. I had arranged for us to be with 5 other friends in a VIP
booth with our own private seating and cocktail service. We
arrived about 8:30 pm and stayed until closing time at 2 am,
dancing most of the night. I knew lots of people at the event,
including many other members of the transgender community.
All made a point of visiting with my wife, making her feel very
welcome. Here is a photo of me on the dance floor at the event,
after removing the corset.
I’m happy to report she had a great time at the event despite
suffering from the “bottle” flu the next day. I made sure to drink
very little and enjoyed my time dancing with her as well as
visiting with all my friends at this quarterly event. Again, I’m able to report another successful
outing with my wife.
I would have to say the most difficult issue for me to date is the lack of emotional nourishment
for my girl side. This side seeks being loved, accepted and always occupies a great amount of
my time. It is the part of me from which many of my emotions come as well as my desire to
give, help others and my tenderness. I can already see that this will be the long term test for our
relationship. I do feel blessed for how everything has transpired over the past two months with
my wife and the effort she is making to be supportive of me. Frankly, it is a bit of a shock, but
shows what the commitment of love between two people can accomplish.
My heart goes out to all those who continue to suppress or hide their femininity. It is a difficult
cross to carry. I will continue to write about my journey.
If you ever feel the need to talk or ask questions, email me at: stephanierene2@yahoo.com.
Hugs!
Stephanie Rene
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Your Handbag and You – the Rest of the Story
Tasi Zuriack Reprinted from TG Reporter
There are many different
approaches to choosing the right
bag, and Tasi explores yet some
more.
Just recently Denae Doyle talked about the perfect handbag for the transgender woman and
helped to demystify the question on which
handbag to carry. But like the infamous
commentator Paul Harvey used to say, now “Here
is the rest of the story.”
It’s more than which color makes your outfit pop or what
length is best, or its size. We know large girls should not
carry small purses, and large purses should not be carried
on the hip making us look like a buffalo.
Now I don’t suspect that too many of us are carrying
Louis Vitton or Prada bags. More likely the bag would
have come from a thrift shop or big box store like Target - up to and including some of the nicer mid-range brands
like Coach or Fossel. But for sure our bag, like our shoes,
reflects our personality. After all, you don’t leave home
without it, and if you have bought a quality bag it will be
with you for many years.
When I first started crossdressing in public, my wife gave me her old -- but still in good
condition -- black Coach bag in a classic design. It's still my go-to bag when there’s not a
special occasion (and even then sometimes). Then I have a straw bag for the summer, and a
bright red slouchy-style bag when I want to be noticed -- or make a fashion statement!
So for sure, there is psychology involved in how we wear our favorite accessory (with no
disrespect to you shoe buffs, but handbags represent 70% of sales at luxury goods houses).
Carolyn Asome wrote about what our handbag says about us in a recent London Times article "they’re more than fashion items for holding things." She even makes a case for taste in bags
being genetic, otherwise “Why are alligator leathers and jeweled styles favored by Arabs, why
do the Chinese adore the color red and a bucketful of logos, and why are the Russians drawn to
bags made from the softest nappa leathers (understated perhaps, but also exorbitantly priced)?”
Bags are not just a fashion item in which we carry keys, phone, wallet, and sometimes a
complete makeup bag. According to personal stylist Annabel Hodin, handbags have become
sartorial semiotic, a social signifier which is even more revealing than our choice of shoes, as
well as “the accent that foretells the changes seasonally.” They have such significance in our
wardrobe that one Crown Court judge in the UK lamented “men don’t understand their
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significance and that handbag theft should not be trivialized”,
proof positive of their importance.
as a "CPS", Certified Personal Shopper. And as we enter a new
season, women are poised to shop. Even in these recessionary
times.
Handbags have never been more popular. The clinical
psychologist Anita Abrams has a curious theory that harks back
to mankind’s hunting/gathering stereotypes: “After many years
observing the most successful presents I have given, I am
baffled to note that boys and men tend to like anything that is
vaguely phallic — umbrellas, pens or plastic swords — while
girls love things that are womb-like, such as bags, baskets,
things they can put things in.”
If you believe that your choice of a handbag is based on
sensible criteria of form and function, you may want to think
again. “Obviously it has to be practical,” Abrams says, “but the
outside of your bag says plenty about the inside of our hearts. In
earlier days, your choice spoke of conformity, now it is talking
about your individuality.”
But it’s even more than that. It may be subconscious what if we
told you that the way you hold your bag can tell us a little
something about you? Now not everyone agrees with this, but
we spoke with body-language expert Patti Wood to shed a little
insight onto what it all means. Now, take a look at the graphic.
What are you telling the world?
According to Wood, there are 10 distinct ways to hold your
bag. Let’s take a look at the diagram.
The Twofer — You hold your strapless bag in front of you
coyly and cross your legs. You’re shy and defensive.
The Schlepper — You have tons of bags hanging off of you
randomly stuffed with belongings. You’re disorganized, spaced
out, and exhausted.
The Hands-Free — You wear a purse with a long strap and let
it hang in front of what you’re wearing. Apparently, you’re
youthful and nerdy.
The Arm-Crook Hook — You let your bag hang from your
elbow joint, wrist flopping. You’re super famous and your bag
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probably cost a fortune. You’re just plain better than everyone.
The Baguette — Your arm cradles your purse like some warm French bread. You’re utilitarian:
it’s what’s in the bag that counts.
The Third Arm Drape — Your purse hangs from a long strap down one side of your body.
Different from the "Hands-Free" look because it hangs by your side, not your front. You lack
awareness and control of your world.
The Armpit Vice — You’ve got a clutch shoved awkwardly in your armpit. Not good people,
not good. You’re trying too hard and it isn’t working. That’s what straps are for.
The “I’ve Got a Bag Bitch” — Someone else is carrying your purse. You’re way too
important for carrying stuff.
The Briefcase — You’ve ditched the strap and carry your bag at your side by the handle.
You're all business.
The Thumb to Pit — Your tote-like bag hangs over one shoulder, and your fingers clutch the
strap at your armpit. This is apparently very Carrie Bradshaw. You’re a street-smart city girl
who knows to protect her stuff.
Is there any validity to all of these? There’s one woman whose style has been analyzed in forensic detail, Kate Middleton. Vogue recently published a “Katepedia” in their January issue,
revealing that Kate holds her purse in front with two hands the majority (48 per cent) of the
time, making her a “Twofer.”
Is Kate shy and defensive? Well, she is hounded by media 24/7, so perhaps Woods is on to
something.
However, my wife’s style, and probably mine too, is the third arm drape, and I can assure you
that lacking awareness and control of the world is not our style, quite the contrary. Still. It’s fun
to watch the women in the street and at the mall. So go ahead and carry your bag as you wish.
We won’t judge you, but not so with Woods.
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Colorful spring dresses $30 and under
By Christine Aebischer | Woman's Day
(Photo by: Kmart; JCP; Avon )
Whether you're looking forward to outdoor picnics or a
little getaway, these promising picks are sure to flatter
your figure, style and budget. From floral frocks to
striped sensations, a sophisticated spring wardrobe is
just a click away.
(Photo: JCP)Flirty Frock
The colorful print and ruffles create a relaxed look, while the
v-neck and belt ensure you won’t lose your shape.
Short-Sleeve Print Dress, $30; JCP.com
Sizes 4-12 available.
(Photo: JCP)Bold Bombshell
The bright floral print attracts
attention, while the higher neckline
and longer sleeves keep the look
tasteful.
Self-Belt Dress, $30; JCP.com
Sizes 4-16 available.
(Photo: Avon)
Darling Draping
Conceal a tummy with the strategic draping on this flattering
sheath. Its solid color makes it versatile enough to wear in multiple ways.
Drape Escape Dress, $20; Avon.com
Sizes 6 - 28W available.
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(Photo: Kmart)Heavenly Hemline
This high-low dress shows just enough leg, and the flowy fabric
and abstract print hide imperfections.
Sofia by Sofia Vergara Hi Lo Dress, $21; Kmart.com
Sizes S- XL available.
(Photo: Old Navy)
Sweet Scoop
The relaxed neckline, short sleeves and muted design create a
casual feel that makes this dress a great choice for any day.
Women’s Printed Dress, $25; OldNavy.com
Sizes XS-XXL available.
(Photo: Wal-Mart)
Floral Frenzy
This lightweight cotton dress has a pretty, feminine silhouette.
Bonus: There are adjustable ties and an elastic waistband for
added comfort.
Bella Bird Seaside Village Woven Dress, $17.98; Walmart.com
Sizes S-XXL available.
(Photo: JCP)
Pretty Pleats
The light chiffon and swingy skirt keep you from feeling restricted
in this dress. To let the pop of color at the bottom stand out, the
rest of the dress is covered in a sweet, subtle print.
Worthington Border Print Pleat Dress, $30; JCP.com
Sizes 6-14 available.
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(Photo: Old Navy)Denim Delight
This hassle-free dress makes denim dazzle, and the delicate pin-dot
pattern adds a softer touch.
Women’s Pin-Dot Chambray Dress, $15; OldNavy.com
Sizes XS - XXL available.
(Photo: Avon)
Ruffle Remix
The slight ruffling down the middle of this dress and on the
sleeves create a slimming effect. More figure-flattering help
comes from the stretchy fabric, which accentuates your shape.
Frilled with Excitement Dress, $20; Avon.com
Sizes 6 - 28W available.
(Photo: Wal-Mart)
Wrap Wonder
This figure-flattering jersey dress can be worn with a blazer or solo
to work, or dressed up for a night out.
George Career Essentials Jersey Wrap Dress, $18; Walmart.com
Sizes S - XXL available.
(Photo: Kmart)
Gracious Gathering
Extra material at the bust line coupled
with a v-neck works to accentuate a smaller bust in this flirty number.
Sofia by Sofia Vergara Gathered Front Dress, $17.50; Kmart.com
Sizes XS-XL available.
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(Photo: JCP)
Comfortable Classic
Feel great while looking smart in this faux wrap dress. Plus, the
bold print adds a modern touch.
Liz Claiborne Faux Wrap Dress, $30; JCP.com
Sizes S-XL available.
How To Look Hot In Feminine Lingerie
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Lucille Sorella is a GG (genetic girl)
who teaches crossdressers, transsexuals, and transgender females
how to look, act, and feel like real women. Her goal is to help Twomen express their inner and outer femininity and increase their
confidence as women. She has a professional background in fashion, beauty, dance, and natural healing and has been working
with the transgender community for the past 12 years. Her website
is loaded with useful information and is located at http://
www.flat2fem.com/index1.html .
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Whether you are an occasional crossdresser or live as a woman full time, lingerie is a
great way to connect with your femme self. How can you NOT feel totally girly in a
pretty lace bra and panties? But let’s face it …it’s hard to hide your flaws when you
are practically naked!
Here’s how to look HOT in feminine lingerie (even if you have a beer belly and manly
hips)!
1. Get the right fit
Nothing will destroy your image faster than saggy bra cups or too-tight panties creating
a “muffin top”. It’s impossible to look good in lingerie that doesn’t fit right. Your bra and
panties should fit snug, but should never dig into your skin. (That’s how you get ugly
bulges.) Be sure to check your bra cups – they should fit smoothly over your breasts
or breast forms. Wrinkled bra cups means you need a smaller cup size.
Need help with your size? Check out these Victoria’s Secret calculators to determine
your correct bra and panty sizes.
2. Flatter your shape
The number one secret to looking hot in lingerie is to hide your flaws (like a big belly)
and highlight your assets (like sexy long legs). Here are the most flattering pieces for
crossdressers and transgender women:
 Babydoll lingerie – Babydoll lingerie is sweet and sexy and best of all, it’s great for
hiding an ample belly.
 Ruffled panties – Do you wish you had bigger hips? Ruffled panties feminize your
figure by adding fullness to the hips.
 Kimono robe – Slip on a sexy kimono to hide broad shoulders. Look for a sheer
style so you can disguise your upper body while still showing some skin.
3. Complement your skin tone
Color has a dramatic effect on your appearance (and your mood) so choose wisely.
The most important thing is to choose colors that complement your skin tone. White
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and black are popular lingerie colors, but they make pale skin look even more pasty.
Nude tones and bright colors flatter most skin tones.
Have some fun with this! Choose colors that make you feel sexy, girly, vampy – or
whatever aspect of your personality you want to channel that day.
4. Be impeccable with your grooming
Let’s face it – there’s nothing sexy about hair peeking out of your bra or panties!If you
are going to wear beautiful lingerie, be sure your grooming habits are up to par. Shave
or wax regularly and apply lotion daily so you are always prepared to show some skin.
How to Keep Your Clothes Looking New
By Whole Living | Team Mom
Martha Stewart Living Of the many household tasks,
doing the laundry seems to be a no-brainer: Put clothes
in the washer, add detergent, and press start. But regular
washing can take a toll on your garments. Here's how to
prevent white shirts from turning gray, sort your bright
clothing (hint: you need more than one pile), undo the
damage when colors run, and perform many other tricks
that will keep your clothes and linens in near-original
condition.
HOW TO KEEP WHITES WHITE
The main reason white items turn gray or become dull is
incorrect sorting. People generally have few all-white
loads, so they tend to mix whites with colored garments.
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Unfortunately, some types of fabric, notably cotton, aren't colorfast, so their dye molecules
wind up in the wash water and settle on other fabrics, noticeably on white and other light ones.
Washing heavily soiled items, such as athletic socks, with lightly soiled ones, such as sheets,
can also lead to dinginess. Unless you add enough
detergent to hold the dirt in suspension, it will end up back on the very articles you intended to
clean. Water quality, too, can affect how your whites emerge from the washer. Iron-laden water
and hard water (rich in calcium and magnesium) can render detergents less effective and cause
staining.
What to Do
Wash whites separately.The best way to retain whiteness is to launder white items together in
the hottest water the fabric will tolerate (water that is at least 120 degrees is most effective at
removing soil). Choose detergent with a bleach alternative and/or enzymes, using the maximum
amount recommended.
Add a laundry booster.
You can increase the cleaning power of a detergent by adding a booster, such as borax, oxygen
bleach, or washing soda to help maintain whiteness. Before washing, soak heavily soiled items
using an enzyme detergent (available in the laundry aisle of many supermarkets) or oxygen
bleach, and launder them separately.
Pretreat body-oil marks.
To remove perspiration and other greasy stains, pretreat with liquid detergent, dishwashing
liquid, or shampoo (use colorless ones to avoid dye transfer). Gently rub the liquid into the fabric using a clean toothbrush or complexion brush.
Tackle colored stains.
Address food spills, such as coffee or juice, and underarm yellowing, which is residue from
antiperspirant or deodorant, by applying undiluted liquid oxygen bleach directly to the fabric
immediately before laundering.
Use a color remover.
Once a month or when your whites become dull, wash them with a color remover (available in
the laundry aisle of many supermarkets). Alternatively, soak items in boiling water and oxygen
bleach in a basin (this is suitable only for fabrics that won't shrink). You may have to
experiment to determine which technique whitens best.
Accept less than perfect.
Even with meticulous sorting, don't expect whites to stay fluorescent bright forever. When
white fabrics are manufactured, they are often treated with optical brighteners, which are
chemicals that boost whiteness. They will eventually wash out and cannot be replaced.
Minerals and water
If your water has a high iron content (look for reddish stains in the shower and toilet), launder
with an iron-removing product (available in the laundry aisle of many supermarkets). Don't use
chlorine bleach: Combined with iron and hot water, it can yellow clothing. Instead, use oxygen
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bleach, which is a more effective (and more environmentally friendly) alternative. For hard water (evidenced by rough, hard-to-clean deposits on bathroom fixtures), some detergent labels
call for using larger amounts. If your water is particularly hard, you may not be able to get
whites pristine unless you install a water softener, which removes minerals.
HOW TO KEEP DARKS DARK
During the wash cycle, articles of clothing collide with one another and the washer's interior,
which causes some of the fibers in the fabric to break, exposing the raw fiber ends. This friction
disrupts the surface of the fabric, tricking the eye into seeing less color. Tumble drying can
cause similar damage, though to a lesser extent.
Also, washing darks in warm or hot water can hasten dye loss. With some fabrics, expect a
certain amount of fading; theres no such thing, for instance, as truly colorfast cotton.
What to Do
Wash darks separately. To help preserve dark items' original colors and prevent bleeding onto
lighter clothes, wash darks together using the cold-water cycle (60 to 80 degrees).
Use the shortest cycle.
Select the appropriate setting depending on how soiled the clothes are and what fabric they're
made of. As far as detergents go, experts say that they don't really contribute to fading. While
some formulas are designed specifically for darks, any liquid detergent without a bleach
alternative is suitable (liquids work better in cold water; powders may not dissolve fully).
Minimize abrasion.
Prepare your clothes for the washer by closing zippers, fastening hooks, and turning items
inside out. Also, wash items of similar weight together -- that is, don't wash a cashmere sweater
and jeans in the same load just because they're dark blue.
Line-dry darks.
Whenever possible, hang dark items to dry (out of direct sunlight); this helps maintain their
original appearance. When you do use the dryer, opt for the lowest temperature suitable for the
material, and be careful not to overdry your clothes. Remove them from the machine as soon as
they're dry or even while they're slightly damp; this will help keep shrinkage to a minimum.
Washing in winter.
Although cold water helps prevent dark clothing from fading, frigid outdoor temperatures may
cause the washer's water temperature to fall below 40 degrees, rendering even detergents designed to work in cold water ineffective. If you live in an area with particularly chilly winters,
don't use the cold-water wash setting during that time of year. Instead, select a warm-water
wash and a cold rinse.
HOW TO KEEP BRIGHTS BRIGHT
As with darks, wear and tear in the washer and dryer as well as warm and hot water can cause
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colors to fade. Deep, bright garments often shed a little dye over time, so some color loss is inevitable.
Separate by color intensity.
Launder colored items in two groups: brights and pastels. Wash brand-new brights on their own
for the first few cycles, when they're most likely to bleed significant amounts of dye.
Turn items inside out. Keep brights looking good longer by reversing them before washing.
Choose the shortest cycle appropriate for the soil level and fabric.
When colors run
Forget soaking your bright fabrics in salt or vinegar to forestall bleeding; it won't help. If
brights do bleed onto other clothing in the wash, don't put the stained items in the dryer. The
heat will set the dye, making any discoloration permanent. Instead, launder the clothes again
separately. As long as you don't apply heat, the dye should come out, even if you don't rewash
the items immediately
12 Strategies for Clearing Clutter
It’s possible that no area in the home is more abused
than the space under a sink. Yes, that footage is meant
to house your supplies. No, it’s not meant to be packed
like the storage equivalent of a clown car, where item
after item is squeezed in, only to come tumbling out.
Equip yourself withsmart ideas and gear to corral your
clutter.
Organize Pots & Pans: The Strategy
Short on cabinet space? With smart organizers, your
cooking set and a small appliance can find a cozy
home under the sink. The secret? Rolling drawers that
make it easy to slide and retrieve items stored in the
back.
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Organize Pots & Pans: The Tricks
Left: Stash the items that you use less frequently (stock
pots, stand mixer, slow-cooker) in the back since you
won’t need them every day. Keep the items that you
reach for often in the front like saucepans and frying
pans.
To buy: Roll-Out Cabinet Drawer, $75,organize.com.
Organize Kitchen Cleaning Supplies: The Strategy
Storing soaps, sprays, and sponges under the sink is a
natural fit—you want to keep them hidden. Just make
sure that everything is easily accessible, so you don’t
have to move 18 different spray bottles just to reach the
extra roll of paper towels.
Organize Kitchen Cleaning Supplies: Clever Tricks
Left: A lazy Susan is the perfect solution to hold all your
solvents. Whether you need all-purpose spray, dishwasher detergent, or a hand soap refill, they are all just
a spin away.
To buy: Lazy Susan, $25,containerstore.com.
Organize Kitchen Trash & Recycling: The Strategy
Out of sight...but hardly out of mind. Keep refuse hidden, yet still organized, underneath the sink. Prep those
recyclables for collection by arming yourself with tools
for sorting from the get-go. Assign one bin per category
to keep glass and plastic containers separate from
magazines and newspapers.
Organize Kitchen Trash & Recycling: The Tricks
Left: A gliding bin like this one keeps garbage and recyclables separate, but still easy to reach. If you have a
step can for your trash, task both bins with recycling duties and separate by type.
To buy: Pull Out Recycler, $80,simplehuman.com.
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Organize Bathroom Cleaners: The Strategy
If you’re lucky enough to have closed storage under your
bathroom sink, use it for stashing cleaning supplies and
extra toilet paper. Give the things you use daily a
prominent spot, and store everything else together.
Organize Bathroom
Cleaners: The Tricks
Left: Keep the rest of your scrubbing supplies in an
easy-to-grab basket so you can pull it out when it’s
time to give everything a once-over. If your cabinet
is wide enough, fill a second basket with extra toilet
paper and boxes of tissue. Large bottles, like those
bulky bleach ones, can be stashed in the back.
To buy: Vinea Storage Baskets, starting at
$12.50, organize.com.
Right: For the cleaning supplies you grab on a
regular basis (shower spray, glass cleaner), use a tension rod to hang them separately from the other products.
To buy: Tension rod, $6, homedepot.com.
Organize Cosmetics & Toiletries: The Strategy
If you’re a makeup junkie, use the space under your sink
to stash everything from cotton swabs and hair ties to extra body wash and your constantly expanding nail polish
collection. Keep family members’ items together by giving each person a matching basket with all of their daily
essentials inside.
Organize Cosmetics & Toiletries: The Tricks
Left: Avoid a mess of cords by keeping the hair dryer in
this unique over-the-door bin. Want everything at your fingertips? There’s even room
for stashing a round brush and favorite styling product. (We’ve got you covered for
beating the morning rush!)
To buy: Over-the-Door Cabinet Organizer, $30, stacksandstacks.com.
Right: Even if your drawers are somewhat translucent,
clearly label what’s stored inside so you don’t waste time
digging around searching for what you need. Smaller plastic
containers (or even cardboard jewelry boxes) are perfect
for keeping like things together. Maintaining a sense of order can actually be therapeutic.
To buy: Elfa Mesh Drawer Unit, starting at $81, containerstore.com.
53
The Gossip Fence
Transgender in the News
Advocacy Coalition Supports MPD Clarification of Condom Policy
Washington, DC — The Metropolitan Police Department (MPD) is taking steps to educate the
community and police officers about the possession of condoms – they are not to be considered
reasonable cause to stop, search, or arrest someone. In addition to clarifying Department policy
via police “roll call” bulletin, MPD has begun to distribute cards in the community explaining
that individuals have the right to carry as many condoms as they want in the District of Columbia. The card text reads:
Know Your Rights
» The MPD supports the distribution of condoms to help prevent the spread of HIV and other
sexually transmitted diseases.
» Individuals are allowed to carry as many condoms as they want. There is no “three condom
rule.”
» MPD officers cannot conduct a stop or conduct a search of a person or premises based on
whether or not that person possesses condoms.
The card also provides information on how to make complaints of police misconduct, in the
case that an officer fails to follow these guidelines. A scan of the card is attached.
“This important development will help promote condom use in the District, where we have one
of the highest rates of HIV in the country,” said Rebekah Horowitz, Policy and Advocacy Manager at The Women’s Collective.
“We often hear from community members that they believe possession of more than three condoms can be grounds for arrest,” said Cyndee Clay, Executive Director of HIPS. “The MPD’s
statements put the myth of the ‘three condom rule’ to rest and make clear the process for reporting police officers who violate the condom possession policy.”
'Gay Panic' Defense Trotted Out In Murder of Mayoral Candidate
The family of the man charged with killing Marco McMillilan, a gay mayoral candidate in
Clarksdale, Miss., told a local news station that McMillian tried to assault the suspect and that
he killed McMillian in self-defense.
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On March 1 the Coahoma County Sheriff's Department charged Lawrence Reed, 22, of Shelby,
Miss., in the death of McMillian, 34, whose body was found beaten and burned February 27,
just one day after Reed crashed McMillian's white SUV in a head-on collision. Now Reed's
friends and family are turning to the tried-and-true "gay panic" defense, saying McMillian was
making unwanted advances toward Reed, which caused him to panic and kill the candidate.
McMillian's family said they want his death to be investigated as a hate crime, due to the nature
of the incident. However, the Coahoma County Sheriff's Department said they would not
explore the option, Jackson's Clarion-Ledger newspaper reports. Mississippi does not have hate
-crimes legislation that covers crimes based on sexual orientation. In response, the FBI stepped
in to investigate the candidate's death and consider whether Reed could be charged under
federal hate-crimes laws such as the Shepard-Byrd Hate Crimes Prevention Act.
McMillian was one of four Democrats seeking the Clarksdale mayoral nomination and "was
considered one of the first viable openly gay office-seekers in the state," USA Today notes.
Judge says transgender woman faced discrimination
IOWA CITY, Iowa (AP) — A state administrative law judge has ruled that a transgender
woman should not have been ordered out of a courthouse women's restroom by a sheriff's
deputy. The judge decided in favor of Jodie Jones, who has been presenting herself as a woman
since May 2011, the Iowa City Press-Citizen reported. The ruling by Administrative Law Judge
Heather Palmer came Tuesday.
Jones, 56, filed a complaint with the Iowa Civil Rights Commission after a November 2011
incident in which she says she was confronted by a female sheriff's deputy after going into a
women's restroom in the Johnson County Courthouse. Jones said the deputy yelled at her to
leave immediately. Jones complied, but said she told the deputy she had a legal right to use the
restroom. Jones said the deputy replied she had to leave "regardless of what the law is."
Under Iowa law, it is discriminatory to deny a person use of a public accommodation based on
their gender identity. The commission also says state law requires that individuals be permitted
access to public facilities in accordance with their gender identity, rather than their sex at birth,
without being harassed or questioned.
The deputy, who is now retired, acknowledged asking Jones to leave the restroom, but denied
yelling at Jones. The deputy testified that she had seen Jones in female dress before, but denied
knowing Jones was transgender until she received the civil rights complaint.
The judge said Jones was dressed as a woman previously at the courthouse and when she used
the women's restroom, so the deputy "had sufficient information to conclude Jones was a transgendered woman."
Judge Hands Down Fine In Columbus’ First-Ever Transgender Discrimination Case
COLUMBUS, Ohio - A judge ordered the owners of the Capital Club to pay a $1,000 fine in
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the city’s first-ever transgender discrimination case. Attorneys for Columbus Hospitality LLC,
managers of private downtown Capital Club, pleaded no contest in January to a charge of
unlawful employment practices against 53-year-old Savanna DeLong. DeLong worked as a
massage therapist for the club.
DeLong alleged that the club discriminated against her by not using her services when they
found out she was making the transition from being a man to being a woman.
Transgender people face unique problems
The transgender population in the United States is difficult to precisely measure, says Harper
Jean Tobin, the policy director at the National Center for Transgender Equality in Washington,
D.C. The term “transgender” means different things to different people, for one thing, and
people may be reluctant to identify themselves as transgender because of fear of discrimination
or other reasons.
But an article from the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law cites population studies
in estimating that there may be 700,000 transgender people in the United States -- 0.03 percent
of the population.
Among the challenges most commonly cited are violence, poverty and access to health care.
Violence can include attacks or it could be harassment and improper incarceration
classifications, said Elroi Windsor, an assistant professor at Salem College and a researcher in
transgender health-care issues.
The center for transgender equality says that more than one in four adults have lost at least one
job because of bias and more than three-fourths have experienced discrimination.
Employment discrimination has implications for health care because it can mean a lack of
insurance, the center said. And even those who have health insurance often must face
exclusions on gender-reassignment procedures. In addition to that, Windsor said, health
providers often also lack education and training to respond to the specific needs of transgender
people.
Other difficulties relate to legal or other public acknowledgement of transgender identity. For
example, there’s the issue of pronoun usage: The transgender-equality center advises
journalists to use the pronoun that the person prefers.
Tobin said a lack of understanding is at the root of all the levels of discrimination, though she
said the situation has markedly improved in recent years.
Why Kids Are Getting Transgender Surgery
As transgender rights gain greater attention, parents and doctors are embracing transgender
surgery for children at younger ages—including kids in elementary school, writes Margaret
Talbot in the New Yorker. The thinking: With early surgery and puberty-suppressing
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medication, kids will be better-looking and psychologically stronger as they make the gender
transition. But some parents are straining under the pressure of making such a huge decision for
a young child. "I wonder if I'm holding him back," says the father of a 3-year-old who seems
transgender. "Like, should I be asking, 'Do you want to be called a he or she?'"
But some experts note the risks of early medical treatment, and a few parents are still nervous:
"A lot of these kids are sad for a variety of reasons," says the mother of a FTM teen. "Maybe
the gender feelings are the underlying cause, maybe not."
Quebec launches first awareness campaign to tackle homophobia and transphobia
The Minister of Justice in Canada’s province of Quebec has launched a campaign against
homophobia, including television and radio ads attempting to help people become more open
and accepting towards same-sex couples.
The campaign consists of two television adverts in French, and one radio spot in English. They
all encourage viewers or listeners to ask themselves whether they are really open to sexual
diversity. Both TV adverts end with same-sex couples sharing a kiss, which is followed by the
question: “Does this change the way you thought twenty seconds ago?”
As well as the adverts, the campaign includes a an interactive website which allows users to
investigate different situations, and challenges the way the user looks at them. It contains
resources for fighting homophobia, and information about different types of homophobia.
Queen Elizabeth makes historic pledge for gay rights
Queen Elizabeth will go before the world tomorrow and speak in support of LGBT rights.
According to the Daily Mail, she will sign a new Commonwealth Charter meant to stop
discrimination against gay and lesbian people and promote the ‘empowerment’ of women. Part
of the charter will read: ‘We are implacably opposed to all forms of discrimination, whether
rooted in gender, race, colour, creed, political belief or other grounds’.
Though the Queen's charter does not explicitly refer to the LGBT community, a diplomatic
source said: ‘The impact of this statement on gay and women’s rights should not be
underestimated.
'Some of the worst persecution of gay people in the world takes place in Commonwealth
countries as a result of the British Empire'.
In regards to gender rights, the Queen's charter says: ‘We recognize that gender equality and
women’s empowerment are essential components of human development and basic human
rights. The advancement of women’s rights and the education of girls are critical preconditions
for effective and sustainable development'.
This marks the Queen’s first commitment to LGBT rights in her 61-year reign, and her first
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public appearance since leaving the hospital where she was receiving treatment for a stomach
bug.
The Queen will sign the document, which could have potential effects for future rulers
specifically the offspring of Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge, at London’s
Marlborough House tomorrow, Commonwealth Day.
Royal Oak, Mich., passes LGBT and HIV-inclusive Human Rights Ordinance
ROYAL OAK, Mich. – The city commission in Royal Oak, Mich., a suburban Detroit
municipality, on Monday approved an ordinance prohibiting discrimination against LGBT and
HIV positive residents in the areas of housing and employment.
The vote in favor of the ordinance was 6-1.
Royal Oak becomes one of 22 cities across Michigan to pass such protections in absence of a
statewide law to protect LGBT citizens from discrimination.,” added Dievendorf.
Phoenix City Council approves anti-bias measure
PHOENIX (CBS5/AP) - The Phoenix City Council has approved a proposal to expand the city's
anti-discrimination law to include protections for gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender
people in city contracts, housing, employment and public accommodations such as restaurants.
The vote was 5-3. Councilmen Jim Waring, Bill Gates and Sal DiCiccio voted "no."
The Human Relations Ordinance revolves around adding three phrases to the city's
anti-discrimination policies when it comes to employment, housing, city contracts and public
accommodations. Those phrases are "sexual orientation," "gender identity" and "disability."
New LGBT inclusive domestic violence law signed by Obama
President Obama has signed the Violence Against Women Act, which now also protects LGBT
Americans from domestic violence and sexual assault.
It marks an important win for LGBT campaigners and Native Americans, who will see new
protections under the law, and for President Obama, whose attempts to push for a renewal failed
last year.
Some House Republicans had held up reauthorisation for weeks in a dispute over expansions to
the 1994 law, although it was passed by the US Congress late last month. Senate Democrats
offered an expanded law that specifically protects gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender
Americans and gives tribal authorities the power to prosecute non-Indians for abuse committed
on tribal lands.
“This is your day. This is the day of the advocates, the day of the survivors. This is your
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victory,’’ the president said. ‘‘This victory shows that when the American people make their
voices heard, Washington listens.’’
President Obama and Vice President Joe Biden offered special thanks to Republicans, including
Senator Susan Collins of Maine, who supported the renewal despite opposition from many in
her party.
Experts: Gender awareness comes at early age
In her career as a licensed professional counselor in Colorado Springs, Dara Hoffman has
worked with transgender adults, teenagers to retirees. The hundreds of stories she’s heard are
diverse, but consistent about one thing: Gender — and transgender — awareness comes at a
very young age.
“Today, I met a new client who is (female) transitioning to male. He said, ‘ever since I was a
little kid, I felt like a little boy.’ That’s almost word-for-word the same thing I always hear,”
Hoffman said. “There’s just this innate sense of gender, even before they know that boys do this
stuff or girls do this stuff.”
“People are asking, how can a kid really know? But it’s not impossible whatsoever (for an
adult) to be able to remember back that long ago, and say that’s when I really started to feel
different,” Hoffman said. “We don’t start off knowing for sure what our unique expression of
gender is.”
Pediatricians see growing number of crosss-gender kids like Coy Mathis
Experts say increasing numbers of little kids are showing up in doctors offices insisting they
were born into the body of the wrong sex — kids like Coy Mathis, the 6-year-old child banned
from using the girls' bathroom at her Fountain school because she is biologically male.
"We're seeing it all across the state," said Dr. Daniel Reirden, a Children's Hospital Colorado
physician who said his referrals "went up 200-fold" after he spoke on the issue of children and
gender-identity disorder at a recent conference. Described as "gender-variant," these children
typically begin to demonstrate cross-gender behaviors between the ages of 2 and 4. They
express a strong desire to live as the opposite gender — clothes, toys, pronouns.
Sometimes, it's typical preschool curiosity. But for other kids, it's the beginning of a life out of
the ordinary, challenging societal expectations of what defines their gender. "In many rural
communities, or places with less metropolitan areas, a lot of times kids will know something is
different about them, and they identify this way, but there is social pressure to be your birth
gender," Reirden said.
Some adults who grew up in the '50s and '60s felt this way but never talked about it, said Karen
Scarpella, program director for the Gender Identity Center of Colorado "There all these adults
who say, 'I knew when I was 3 or 4, but I couldn't tell anyone. That was made very clear to me.'
But now we're in a society that allows more gender-bending, and we can express ourselves
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more," Scarpella said.
As the general public becomes more aware of the issue through stories about kids such as Coy,
the scientific community is also starting to expand its research into life cycles of transgender
people to include children.
Mexican Town Bans Women in Miniskirts and Fines Crossdressers
The security chief of a Mexican border town has decided to ban women from wearing
miniskirts, and to impose fines on men who parade the streets of his city in female attire. Javier
Agudelo is a retired general and now the top security officer in Ciudad Acuña, a city of 140,000
residents across the Texas border. He told local newspapers that miniskirts and cross dressing
had to be banned in town in order to preserve "morality" and "decency," but also said that
women who wear short skirts, or men who dress as women, can use their apparel to "commit
several sorts of crimes."
Agudelo's moral crusade has, of course, been rejected by local LGBT community leaders who
say that police in Ciudad Acuña already discriminate against transgender men. Representatives
of the LGBT community told local newspaper El Zocalo that they are planning protests against
the new "security measures," and are seeking advice from
Mexico's National Commission on Human Rights.
Banning miniskirts is unlikely to chase many real criminals away from Ciudad Acuña. For
several years, the Zetas gang has used this city to ship drugs into the United States, and in 2012
almost half of the city's police officers were fired after they failed to pass anti-corruption
background checks.
Agudelo himself was under investigation for the murder of Jose Eduardo Moreira, the son of a
former state governor. He was cleared of charges in the killing however, which is thought to
have been a revenge attack from the Zetas on the Moreira family.
Agudelo, by the way, is not the only public official in Mexico who has proposed a miniskirt
ban. According to Mexican website 10puntos.com, officials in at least ten different states and
cities have recently tried to ban the miniskirt in universities, government agencies and at local
churches. The miniskirt ban in Ciudad Acuña, however, seems to be the first that will affect all
of the residents of a city, even when they are not at work.
NCTE Leads Effort to End LGBTI Sexual Abuse in Immigration Detention
The National Center for Transgender Equality, with our partners at Just Detention International
led advocacy efforts urging Secretary Napolitano and the Department of Homeland Security
(DHS) to strengthen protections against sexual abuse of LGBT people and people with intersex
conditions in immigration detention. In addition to organizing over 800 individual comments
and dozens of organizational comments, NCTE joined eight other national LGBT and allied
groups in filing over 30 pages of public comments on the proposed regulations that address this
problem, which is part of the implementation of the Prison Rape Elimination Act.
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While the proposed regulations represent an important step toward ending the victimization of
people in immigration detention facilities, NCTE and other advocates identified several flaws
that hamper the effectiveness of the regulations, both overall and with respect to the specific
vulnerabilities of LGBTI detainees. Primarily, we are urging Secretary Napolitano to require
comprehensive training for all facility staff; provide appropriate search and housing procedures
for LGBTI detainees; and ensure that the final rules apply to all immigration detention facilities
without delay.
Other recommendations include:
1. Ensuring that all of the regulation’s rules apply to agency contractors in order to close the
gap of implementation in contracted immigration detention facilities;
2. Prohibiting facility policies that punish or prevent detainees’ gender expression, or restrict
access to medical or mental healthcare, in the name of preventing abuse; and
3. Creating administrative timelines and processes to prevent detainees from being held in isolation indefinitely.
Mental-Health Providers Less Comfortable With Bi Men, Trans People
A rather unique survey coming out of California suggest that mental-health providers are still
failing the LGBT community to some extent. Conducted by the LGBTQ Reducing Disparities
Project, First, Do No Harm found that providers treated different segments of the community
differently.
“Providers were more comfortable for example with people who are gay or lesbian versus
people who are bisexual. They were less comfortable with bisexual men than bisexual women
and then they were less comfortable with people who are transgender,” said researcher Poshi
Mikalson..
In addition to comfort levels, many mental-health providers are not trained in addressing issues
particular to the LGBT community—they may not even know to ask a patient about his or her
sexuality or gender expression.
More than 1100 murdere trans people reported: TGEU Press Release (March 2013)
Constant rise in murder rates: Transgender Europe’s Trans Murder Monitoring project reveals
more than 1,100 reported murders of trans people in the last five years
The March 2013 update reveals a total of 1,123 reported killings of trans people in 57 countries
worldwide from January 1st 2008 to December 31st 2012. The update shows a significant/
constant increase in reported killings of trans people over the last five years. In 2008, 148 cases
were reported, in 2009 217 cases, in 2010 229 cases, in 2011 262 cases, and in 2012 267 cases.
Clearly the shocking amount of violence against trans people still poses a major problem and
threat to trans people in many countries. The alarming figures demonstrate once more that there
is an urgent need to react to the violence against trans people and to seek mechanisms to protect
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trans people.
Cases have been reported from all major World Regions (Africa, Asia, Central and South
America, Europe, North America, and Oceania), evoking an evermore gruesome picture,
especially given the very partial knowledge we are able to gain in many places.
Throughout all six world regions, the highest absolute numbers have been found in countries
with strong trans movements and trans or LGBT organizations that do a professional
monitoring: Brazil (452), Mexico (106), and Colombia (65) in Central and South America, the
USA (69) in North America, Turkey (30) in Europe, and The Philippines (28) in Asia.
Leading ‘ex-gay’ therapists group loses tax free status
The National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality which claims that
homosexuals can turn straight through therapy has lost its tax exempt status after it failed to file
the correct paperwork for three years in a row
The group was founded by psychologists and psychiatrists Joseph Nicolosi, Benjamin Kaufman
and Charles Socarides and claims to assist ‘those who struggle with unwanted homosexuality.’
Socarides’ son Richard is a prominent US LGBT activist.
The lost of tax exempt status has been welcomed by US LBGT rights advocates including the
group Human Rights Campaign (HRC). A former patient who was referred to a therapist by
NARTH said that he hoped the IRS’ decision would lead to the organization’s eventual closure.
In 2010 it was revealed that a then leading NARTH member, George Rekkers, had hired a male
prostitute to escort him on an overseas holiday.
California has banned minors from being subjected to so-called conversion therapies
and Democratic lawmakers in New Jersey hope to follow suit with their own.
Could European Union Ban Antigay Speech?
The European Parliament on Thursday called for homophobic and transphobic speech to be
banned throughout the European Union. The European Union already bans racist and xenophobic speech and hate crimes; LGBT advocates have been pushing for antigay and antitrans verbiage and attacks to be criminalized as well. This new resolution from the European Parliament
adds to the pressure on the EU.
"This is an urgently needed piece of EU legislation which we have been asking for years," Martin Christensen, cochair of ILGA-Europe's executive board, said in a statement. "The EU Commission needs to move from promising statements to concrete action and propose the changes
and ban hate crime and speech against LGBTI people. We are truly grateful to the European
Parliament to maintaining the pressure on other EU institutions to act."
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Maryland Senate Committee Votes Down Bill That Would Have Banned
Transgender Discrimination
A state Senate committee in Maryland dealt a tough blow to transgender rights by voting down
a bill that would have banned gender-identity discrimination in housing, employment and
public accommodation. The committee voted 6-5 to narrowly defeat the Fairness For All
Marylanders Act Of 2013, which would have added "gender identity" to the law that right now
prohibits discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, age, disability, marital status and
sexual orientation, The Washington Blade reports.
The bill may have been doomed when a senator who supported it was moved off the committee
and replaced by one who voted against it , Metro Weekly writes. That switch was made by
Senate leadership in order to pass a wind energy bill, the paper notes. A similar bill proposed
last year -- after Maryland's governor, Martin O'Malley, called for greater protections for
transgender people -- also died in a Senate committee before it could reach the floor for a full
vote. In 2011 and in 2010, similar measures also died before they could reach the governor's
desk, according to The Washington Post.
But although 16 states and Washington, D.C., have laws against gender-identity discrimination,
there is currently no federal law against it. The Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which
would outlaw most employer discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity ,
has languished in Congress since it was introduced nearly 20 years ago
US: Fraternity to donate $18,000 to charity after insurance agrees to
cover trans brother’s surgery
The trans student whose fraternity launched a fundraiser to pay for his chest surgery has learned
that insurance will cover his operation, meaning most of the $20,000 raised can go to helping
other trans people in need. Emerson College fraternity Phi Alpha Tau raised over $20,000 to
cover the costs of top surgery for new member Donnie Collins, after learning he was a trans
man who could not afford surgery in February
Mr Collins was already paying for hormone therapy out of his own pocket and was seeking to
get chest surgery as the next step in his gender reassignment. However, he could not afford to
pay for the $8,000 ($5,300) procedure on his own, and his student insurance policy rejected his
claim to cover it. Phi Alpha Tau then began fundraising on his behalf and broke their own
goals with the help of widespread media coverage
The fraternity and Mr Collins were unaware that Emerson College were also looking into the
issue, and had chased up their insurance provider, Aetna. It emerged that although the college’s
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policy covered surgery for transgender students, Aetna had not updated their internal files to
reflect this. Once this inaccuracy was deal with the college got in touch with Mr Collins to
inform him his surgery would be covered.
The $18,000 left over will now be granted to the Jim Collins Foundation, an initiative which
gives grants for gender reassignment surgery. Mr Collins said: “We can help people that need
this money a lot more than I do. That’s a really incredible feeling.
DCTC finds evidence of bias in MPD hate crimes review
In testimony before the DC Council Committee on the Judiciary and Public Safety today, the
DC Trans Coalition notes evidence of bias in the “independent” review of hate crimes response
and LGBTQ community relations that the Metropolitan Police Department commissioned from
the Anti-Defamation League (ADL). DCTC obtained over 1500 pages of MPD Chief Cathy
Lanier’s emails pertaining to the ADL review, which was announced last year, following
DCTC’s October 2011 request for confidential mediation with MPD facilitated by the
Community Relations Service of the U.S. Department of Justice.
In short, the ADL hate crimes review task force has proven itself to be both insufficient to
address community concerns, and blatantly biased against us. We do not relish conflict between
our communities and MPD. Yet, due to a persistent failure to listen openly to our concerns,
conflict persists, and the day to day lives of trans people in DC are endangered as a result. Our
concern is that the ADL-led task force is a publicity stunt rather than a good-faith effort at
making progress.
We once again encourage MPD to accept our offer of confidential mediation through the
Department of Justice’s Community Relations Service.
Westboro Baptist Church Gets a Taste of Its Own Medicine
The most hateful church in America has some colorful new
neighbors. This week, members of the Florida-based nonprofit
Planting Peace unveiled a project months in the making: Equality
House, an activism center located directly across from the
Westboro Baptist Church outside Topeka, Kansas.
From now on, the group known for picketing the funerals of
everyone from military members killed in action to Mr. Rogers, in
protest of America’s tolerance of homosexuality, will wake up
every morning and stare at an LGBT rainbow—after Equality
House members painted the building to match the gay pride flag.
“We walked around Westboro’s neighborhood on Google street
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view and thought: ‘It would be awesome to get a house right there and paint it rainbow,’ ” says
Hammet. As it turned out, the house directly across the street from the church was for sale.
After months of negotiations, Project Peace purchased the property for just over $80,000.
“Before we launched, we tried to keep quiet. Shortly after I moved in, someone from Wetsboro
almost backed over me in her car. It was an accident, and she apologized. But it was bizarre—
this hate-filled person smiling and waving at me.”
Hammet says his group hopes to use the publicity from Equality House to help launch an antibullying campaign among other initiatives. “This is hopefully just the start,” he says. “We want
this to be used to spark conversation about equality in every home. We believe the fastest way
toward equality is by speaking out.”
For now, Equality House will likely be used as an activist training center. Despite its new
exterior decorations, the facility remains rather modest. After weeks of sleeping on the floor,
Hammet says he finally has a bed and a desk to work from: “It’s pretty basic. But it could be
barren and still be warm, because this place is full of love.”
110 Congress Members Urge Executive Order as ENDA Stopgap
Congress members have asked President Barack Obama to sign an executive order prohibiting
federal contractors from discriminating in the workplace based on sexual orientation or gender
identity. One hundred ten members of Congress signed the open letter, sent to the president
Wednesday. Though Obama has been a long supporter of the Employment Non-Discrimination
Act, which would prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity,
he has not indicated that he would sign an executive order.
At least 16.5 million Americans would be protected under the proposed executive order,
according to the Williams Institute, as federal contractors are one of the largest employer
subsets in the country. But currently it is legal to fire people on the basis of their sexual
orientation in 29 states and legal to fire people on the basis of their gender identity or
expression in 34 states. Because of this, approximately 43% of LGB people and 90% of
transgender people have experienced some sort of workplace discrimination.
"With a majority of American workers living in states that have not passed laws granting LGBT
employees legal protections from workplace discrimination, an executive order will provide
broad protections that will level the playing field," the Congress members wrote.
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