MOUNT OLIVET GATE Of HEAVEN AssUMPTION HOLY CrOss

Cathoic Cemeteries
MOUNT OLIVET
Kenmore
GATE of HEAVEN
Lewiston
ASSUMPTION
Grand Island
HOLY CROSS
Lackawanna
HOLY SEPULCHRE
Cheektowaga
QUEEN of HEAVEN
Lockport
Now Representing
MOUNT CALVARY
Cheektowaga
P
reserving our Beliefs and Traditions
2 Western New York Catholic
June 2011
Catholic Cemeteries 2011
June 2011
Western New York Catholic
3
There are several options when it comes to Catholic burial
By Carmen Colao
Director of Cemeteries
It will never be more affordable
to buy property in a Catholic
cemetery than it is today. By making
a purchase at today’s price, people
can avoid higher prices in the future
due to inflation. Most purchases can
be made through a payment plan.
Full payment is required only when
a grave or crypt is actually used.
Payment plans involve only a small
down payment and can be financed
up to 60 months with no interest or
finance charge.
The decision to make
arrangements in the calm of today
will bring a sense of security and
peace of mind to the entire family.
Traditional Ground Burial
Traditional ground burial
continues to be a popular form
of burial. Families can choose
from one of two types of graves
that are available. The graves
are distinguished by the type of
memorial that may be placed on
them.
A lawn-level grave is one where
the memorial is set on a stone base
flush with the ground. A monument
privilege grave is one where the
memorial is set on a foundation
and extends above the ground. The
particular section of a cemetery
chosen will determine the size and
style of the memorial.
Regulations regarding markers or
monuments will be explained at the
time of purchase. In all cases, the
graves must be paid in full before a
memorial may be placed.
Lawn Crypts
Lawn crypts offer the same
traditional ground burial with the
now permits cremation, we continue
to give higher value to the burial of
the body. If there is to be cremation,
the Church clearly prefers and urges
that the funeral liturgy take place
in the presence of the deceased
body prior to its cremation. Only in
extraordinary circumstances should
the cremated remains of the body be
present during the funeral liturgy.
The Church strongly recommends
that the cremated remains be treated
with respect and reverence with
burial in a Catholic cemetery. The
cremated remains may be placed
(inurned) in a grave, mausoleum or
columbarium niche designated for
cremation. They may also be placed
in an occupied grave or crypt if room
allows. In any case, a maximum
of one interment and one or two
inurnments will be permitted in a
single grave or crypt.
The practice of scattering,
dividing or keeping the cremated
remains in the home is not the
reverent disposition the Church
recommends.
exception that
each grave
includes a
concrete outer
container
that has been
pre-set in
the ground.
Lawn crypts
have been
designed and
engineered to
offer suitable
protection
of the burial
space. A
memorial and
Lawn crypts offer the same traditional ground burial
vase are also
with the exception that each grave includes a concrete
provided.
outer container that has been pre-set in the ground.
Lawn
crypts are
currently
available at Mount Olivet Cemetery,
Mausoleums are constructed of
Kenmore; Holy Cross Cemetery,
steel reinforced concrete, natural
Lackawanna; and Queen of Heaven
stone, and the most durable rigid
Cemetery, Lockport. Depending
materials available. Each crypt
on the type of memorial and outer
chamber offers the same protection
container selected, lawn crypts can
as the concrete outer container
be very economical when compared
found in traditional ground burial.
to traditional ground burial.
Both interior and exterior crypts
The purchase price of the lawn
are available. Polished granite or
crypt includes the grave, concrete
marble decoratively seals each crypt.
outer container and memorial with
Memorialization is provided in the
vase.
form of bronze lettering on interior
Chapel Mausoleums
Chapel Mausoleums are found
at Mount Olivet Cemetery in
Kenmore, Holy Cross Cemetery
in Lackawanna, Holy Sepulchre
Cemetery in Cheektowaga, Gate of
Heaven Cemetery in Lewiston and
Queen of Heaven Cemetery in the
Town of Lockport. The mausoleum
concept has greatly expanded the
burial options of Catholics who now
have the opportunity to choose above
ground entombment.
crypts and incising of granite on
exterior crypts.
Depending on the type and
location of the grave, mausoleums
can be very economical when
compared to traditional ground
burial.
Cremation
An indult was granted by the Holy
See to diocesan bishops of the United
States which allows the cremated
remains of a body to be present at the
funeral liturgy. Although the Church
Ownership Rights
Graves and crypts are conveyed
by easement. This gives the
purchaser exclusive and permanent
right of use. Ownership is retained
by the cemeteries. Upon the death
of the purchaser, ownership rights
automatically descend to direct
blood heirs equally unless they are
specifically assigned to a particular
heir. The spouse of the original
purchaser always has a dower right of
burial ahead of other heirs. Where
a non-blood heir is to be buried,
permission of blood heirs is required.
Families are encouraged to obtain
these permissions in advance of
need and place them on file at the
cemetery.
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4 Western New York Catholic
Catholic Cemeteries 2011
Don’t Forget
Friends of the Cemetery
Catholic Cemeteries is continuing its successful donation
program, “Friends of the Cemetery.” With several options
to choose from, the donation program is designed to allow
families and friends to memorialize a loved one as well as
contribute to the beautification of the cemetery.
For more information, call 716-873-6500.
INQUIRE ABOUT THE ADVANTAGES
OF PRE-PLANNING
Call 873-5680 today
We welcome your comments
Email us at:
cathcems@buffalodiocese.org
Visit our website at:
www.buffalocatholiccemeteries.org
June 2011
Finding Our Niche
By Chip Mussen
Marketing Director
Cremation garden planned for
Mount Olivet Cemetery
Church teachings insist that the
cremated body should be treated
with the same respect given to the
corporeal remains of the human body.
This includes a worthy container to
hold the cremated remains as well as
their placement.
Mount Olivet Cemetery has
drawn up plans for a Cremation and
Estate Garden for its St. Andrew’s
Hill section that will help you fulfill
this obligation. This beautiful garden
setting will provide a quality option
for families requesting cremation
interment along with many unique
alternatives for memorialization,
including several columbaria and
niche walls.
Cremation plots in a gardentype setting will be offered as well
with landscaping as a backdrop
for small upright memorials and
flat markers. The perimeter of the
garden will consist of Family Estate
Lots for standard burial and family
mausoleums.
Besides these new burial options,
construction will also include
redirecting some of the roadways,
attractive walkways throughout
the new section, benches and some
beautiful landscaping including
new trees and shrubs. This plan is
scheduled to be completed in multiple
phases over several years with
construction planned to begin in the
fall of 2011.
Catholic Cemeteries continues
changes to web page
Have you visited our Catholic
Cemeteries web page recently? The
changes and additions we have made
are to make our website easier to
interact with as well as add more
useful content. You will see a new tab
titled “Bereavement” where we will
be listing many local grief support
programs as well as links to many
grief support resources, like Gilda’s
Club, Life Transitions Center and the
Grief Store. Also, look under the
“About Us” tab for the new cemetery
video entitled “Preserving Our Beliefs
and Traditions” that discusses many of
the options and considerations at our
Catholic Cemeteries and also includes
a special message from Bishop Edward
U. Kmiec.
We will soon be adding a tour of
our mausoleums to show the different
options available.
In the coming months, we will be
opening an online store where you can
purchase certain items, such as vases,
wreaths and crypt front accessories.
We will also be offering many of
our publications on line, including
“Revelations” and our yearly
supplement in the Western New York
Catholic.
We will also regularly update
the “News & Events” tab, where you
will find recent developments, our
Mass schedule and our Bereavement
Lecture Series.
You will also see that we have
updated the maps on our website.
Not only is there a printable map of
all our cemeteries to make it easier
to find your loved ones, but there is
also an interactive map that shows
you where our cemeteries are located
and directions to get there. Look for
these and other exciting changes as we
continue to update our website.
Friends and Family Program
The Catholic Cemeteries of the
Diocese of Buffalo will continue
their successful “Friends and
Family” program. All six of our
Catholic Cemeteries as well as our
partner, Mount Calvary Cemetery in
Cheektowaga, will be offering savings
of up to $500 off your burial space
from May 1 through June 30, 2011.
Special discounts will be offered on
accessory items such as memorials,
vases and crypt front accessories.
For those families that have already
purchased, a referral program is
available whereby you can receive a
thank you gift for each family member
who makes a selection in any of our
cemeteries.
Memorial options expanded
Families now have the option
to select a specially designed slant
memorial at a discounted price.
There are several patterns and
colors available enabling families
to personalize their memorials. By
having the option to package their
grave with the new upright memorial,
families will greatly benefit from the
significant savings that this program
has to offer.
These memorials will also be
available to families that have already
purchased their graves. Please be
aware that these upright memorials
can only be placed on monument
privilege graves.
For more information call 716-8735680.
June 2011
Catholic Cemeteries 2011
Veterans Administration
announces new Memorial Program
By Cathy Samer
Office Manager
The Veterans ­Administration has
announced that they will be offering
an alternative to the flat marker as a
memorial signifying and honoring a
deceased status as a veteran.
For veterans not buried in a
national or state veterans’ cemetery,
or those without a government grave
marker, the Veterans Administration is
pleased to offer a bronze medallion that
highlights their service and sacrifices
for our country. The new emblem will
be furnished to those veterans whose
death occurred on or after Nov. 1,
1990.
The medallion is allowed in
two sizes: 3 inches or 1.5 inches in
diameter. Each bronze medallion
features the image of a folded burial
flag adorned with laurels and is
inscribed with the word “Veteran” at
the top and the branch of service at the
bottom.
A kit to affix the emblem to an
Courtesy of Catholic Cemeteries
The new bronze medallion offers a
fitting tribute honoring the veteran’s
service and sacrifice for our country.
existing granite marker or monument
is also included.
This item may also be placed on
a niche or crypt front. Due to safety
issues, only cemetery staff will place the
medallion on the niche or crypt front.
There will be a nominal setting fee.
Due to extreme weather conditions
in our area, it is strongly recommended
that placement on a flat granite marker
or monument is recessed and set either
by the cemetery or a monument dealer.
If it is placed directly on the memorial
with the adhesive kit, the cemetery
cannot be held responsible for any
damage or loss of the emblem.
More information on Veterans
Administration furnished headstones,
markers and medallions can be found
at www.cem.va.gov/gov/cem/hm/
hmtype.asp.
For information on Veterans
Administration burial benefits call
1-800-827-1000 or visit the Veterans
Administration website at www.cem.
va.gov.
Western New York Catholic
5
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arrangements for the
Catholic Cemeteries
memorialization
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C rema
Laying Loved Ones to R
6 Western New York Catholic
Cremation Garden Planned for
Mount Olivet Cemetery
This beautiful garden will
provide a quality option
for families requesting
cremation interment along
with unique alternatives for
memorialization.
June 2011
Rest in Catholic Cemeteries
June 2011
ation:
Western New York Catholic
Above: Mausoleum glass-fronted niches.
Left: Blessed Mother Columbarium.
7
8 Western New York Catholic
June 2011
Catholic Cemeteries 2011
Grief can be transformed into hope
According to the dictionary, the
definition of transformation is to
change in form, appearance, nature or
character. In grief support, I would give
it an additional definition: evidence of
healing.
When people first attend a grief
support program, they are raw from
grief. The tears flow easily and often
and they display many of the common
symptoms of grief. They have trouble
sleeping, eating and find the loneliness
can be overwhelming.
They are afraid of how they will
cope with daily matters of their
household or how they will make it
through a special event or holiday.
Life can be scary and they are not sure
when, or if, they will ever laugh again.
While they are appreciative of the
support of family and friends, they are
also aware that others in the family are
also grieving. They may hide their true
feelings behind a mask and tell people
that they are doing “fine” even when
they are not.
The mixed emotions of loss are
apparent as they discuss the relief that
their loved one’s suffering has ended,
but the pain of living without them
seems overwhelming. Grief can be
isolating and they may feel alone with
their feelings and thoughts. They do not
By
Nancy
Weil
want to burden those around them with
telling their tale one more time, so they
keep it all to themselves.
That is, until they walk in the door
at one of our grief support programs.
Suddenly they are surrounded by others
who understand. They can speak of
their loss and get knowing nods and
a hand that clasps theirs. Their tears
are welcomed and shared by others.
Feelings of loss and loneliness are no
longer anomalies, but an accepted part
of the journey. By becoming a part of
an understanding circle of support, the
pain is eased and the burden lightened.
This is where the magic occurs.
Over time, I am witness to the
amazing healing that takes place.
Laughter flows as often as the tears.
Friendships form and true caring is
extended one to the other. Smiles
light up the room as someone shares a
Grief Support Groups:
small victory – a project completed by
themselves or a trip taken alone. These
are all small steps on the journey, but
mirror the new life they now have.
At a recent grief support group a
widow spoke of reaching the one-year
mark since her husband’s passing. “I
don’t know how I made it, but I did,”
she said. She then turned to a recently
widowed woman who was attending
for the first time, held her hand, looked
into her eyes and said, “I made it and
you will too.” It was a powerful moment
for all who witnessed it.
No longer in the fog of grief, this
woman has emerged stronger than
she thought she was and learning to
accept this new world she was thrust
into. Others report how much they
rely upon the group and look forward
to attending events. Calendars are
marked with upcoming lectures, circles
and programs. Life looks different
than it did before their loved one died,
but it still contains moments of joy.
Robert Frost wrote, “In three words I
can sum up everything I know about
life: it goes on.” And so it does, and by
participating in our programs, grief can
be transformed into hope.
Nancy Weil is Director of Aftercare,
Catholic Cemeteries and Mount Calvary
Cemetery Group.
E
Mount Calvary’s Pine Lawn Chapel
Second and fourth Monday each
month 4:30-6 p.m.
Mount Olivet Cemetery
First and third Tuesdays each month
7-8:30 p.m.
Stepping Out Walking Group
Share the camaraderie and support
of others while taking a leisurely
stroll through the cemetery.
Pine Lawn Cemetery
Tuesdays beginning June 7 at 4 p.m.
Mount Olivet Cemetery
Thursdays beginning June 9 at 2 p.m.
BOND – Bridging Out in New
Directions social support programs
including: Health Rhythms, Drum
Circle, Laugh for the Health of It,
Laughter Club Potluck Dinners,
Men’s Group for Widowers
Call 716-892-6600 for upcoming
schedule of events.
Lazarus Lecture Series
Special programs designed to
educate and comfort those who
grieve.
Call 716-892-6600 to learn more
about upcoming topics.
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Catholic Cemeteries 2011
June 2011
Western New York Catholic
New York bishops release booklet on end-of-life decisions
Church teaching in
clear language
In an era of rapid medical
advances, an aging population
and myriad ethical questions
surrounding the end of life, the
New York state bishops are offering
a guide to Catholics to help them as
they confront important decisions
for themselves or their loved ones.
Entitled, “Now and at the Hour
of Our Death: A Catholic Guide to
End-of-Life Decision-Making,” the
15-page booklet explains Church
teaching in this area, stressing the
crucial moral distinction between
“ordinary” and “extraordinary”
means of preserving life.
In clear and familiar language,
the guide informs Catholics that
they “are not morally bound to
prolong the dying process by using
every medical treatment available.”
Following the discussion
of Church teaching, the guide
Ed Empl’
Michael L. Vitch
President
Compu-Mail
Catholic Cemeteries 1/16 Ad 2011.indd 1
encourages Catholics to plan for
the possibility of incapacitation at
a later date by designating a health
care proxy.
A proxy form, which is
included in the booklet, can be
a morally appropriate advance
care-planning tool for Catholics to
use to ensure that their end-of-life
wishes are followed in accord with
their religious beliefs.
The guide is published by
the New York State Catholic
Conference and was written with
the input of a committee of moral
theologians as well as the bishops
who approved the final document.
The booklet is available in PDF
form at www.nyscatholic.org. Hard
copies are also available.
To order copies call 518434-6195 or email kgallagher@
nyscatholic.org.
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Catholic Cemeteries 2011
June 2011
Memorial Day
Lest We Forget
By Carmen Colao
BIONDAN NORTH AMERICA INC.
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Phone 416-290-6700
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Toll Free Fax 1-877-290-6701
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We tend to take for granted the
freedoms that we enjoy today. However,
it is important for us to remember the
sacrifices that bought these freedoms.
Memorial Day is a remembrance
for all those who have given their lives
in service to our country. It is believed
that this special day had many separate
beginnings in many different locations
to honor American Civil War dead. This
growing movement fulfilled a general
human need to honor our dead. After
World War I the holiday was changed
from honoring Civil War dead to include
those who died fighting in all wars.
Memorial Day was finally declared a
national holiday in 1971.
Traditional observance of Memorial
Day as a solemn day of mourning has
diminished over time. People have
forgotten the meanings and traditions
of the day. Some people think the day is
for honoring all dead, not just those who
gave their lives in service to their country.
President Ronald Reagan is credited with
reviving the meaning of Memorial Day
and the practice of honoring our war
dead. His speech at Arlington National
Cemetery on Memorial Day 1986, stated:
“Today is the day we put aside to
remember fallen heroes. … It is a day
of thanks for the valor of others, a day
to remember the splendor of America
and those who rest in this cemetery and
others. It’s a day to be with the family and
remember.”
The “National Moment of
Remembrance” resolution was passed
in December 2000 to help remind
Americans of the true meaning of
Memorial Day. The resolution asks that at
3 p.m. local time, on Memorial Day for all
Americans “to voluntarily and informally
observe in their own way a moment of
remembrance and respect, pausing from
whatever they are doing for a moment of
silence or listening to taps.”
As we pause and ponder the
traditional meaning of Memorial Day,
there are many ways we can celebrate
those who are honored on this day:
• If you know someone who has lost
a loved one in battle, offer to help with a
special need they may have.
• Volunteer to assist local Veterans
Groups in placing flags on the graves of
fallen soldiers.
• Get involved in your community’s
tributes to our veterans.
• Send a note of thanks either
privately or publicly to veterans you know.
Let us be thankful for God’s blessings.
Let us also pray for God’s protection over
all those in military service.
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June 2011
Finding Peace
Catholic Cemeteries 2011
Let God bring comfort to your heart
By Nancy Weil
“When my husband died, I felt lost
and alone.”
“I don’t know how I can make it
through without her.”
“No one understands what I am
feeling.”
These are typical comments when
a loved one has died. You feel like the
life you had has suddenly been ripped
away and the world no longer makes
sense. The days are long and the
nights even longer and you
wonder if you will ever feel
better. The emotional pain
and yearning for what you
cannot have is unrelenting.
Your mind keeps running
and peace eludes you. In
these troubling times, you
wonder where God is and
how He can provide you the comfort and
healing you desire.
Did Jesus not say, “Peace I leave with
you; My peace I give to you”? In turning
to Christ, we find strength to face each
day without our loved one.
Grief is anything but a peaceful
journey. We cannot sleep, we continue
to think about our loved one and how
much we miss them, even our daily
routines are disrupted. So what is this
peace that Jesus refers to? It is not the
peace of mind or the peaceful day, but
the peace within our heart that He offers.
For when our souls find rest and we can
turn over our troubles to the Lord, then
we can encounter the calm we seek.
One woman reported that she felt
God enter her heart and give her a sense
of calm and peace that she had not
experienced since her husband had died.
Since that moment, she has found a way
to accept her husband’s death, cherish
the memories of their years together and
move forward into her new life without
him.
God’s love is absolute; it comes to
each of us and to all of us. It is not God
who keeps this bliss away; it is our own
ego, our own desire to control our life
and own our emotions. We disrupt
God’s plan when we stubbornly hold
onto our view of how we think it should
be or how we think we should feel or
how we think people around us should
act.
Society and our upbringing may
dictate to us how long grief should last or
how we should act following a loved one’s
death. However, no one but God truly
knows your heart. It is only through His
grace that you can heal and return to a
life of purpose and joy.
It can be difficult to live in
absolute faith, especially when
we are hurting so deeply. Faith
is being comfortable in the
not knowing. If you know
what is going to happen,
then there is no need for
faith. When we are in a
time of turmoil and change,
it can be hard to hand your life over to
God. Yet it is only through God that the
ultimate path can be made clear.
God finds a way, when there is
no way. In our grief we think that
we will never heal or feel whole again.
We cannot fathom how life can have
sweetness without our loved one in it. Yet
life is still good; the flowers still bloom,
the birds still sing, children continue to
laugh and play. Around us is joy and we
can find our way back to experiencing
this happiness again if only we allow
ourselves to heal from the grief and
re-enter this “new” world we now find
ourselves in. We cannot be separate
from the world we live in any more than
we can separate ourselves from God’s
presence and love.
Let go and let God. Let God bring
comfort to your heart. Let God bring
healing to your soul. Let God guide you
through your grief and back into a joyful
existence. As it is said in Philippians
4:6-7, “Have no anxiety at all, but in
everything, by prayer and petition, with
thanksgiving, make your requests known
to God. Then the peace of God that
surpasses all understanding will guard
your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ.”
Western New York Catholic
11
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12 Western New York Catholic
June 2011