Obiter Issue 1 2013 (PDF 62.6MB) - School of Law

EDITORIAL
Woah, 2013 is here! How time flies huh? AJ and I here at Obiter hope you all had a great
Christmas and New Years, and are looking forward to a long boring year of legal study….
Jokes, what we mean is, “a year of drinking and last minute cramming”. I’ve got my toes and
fingers crossed that this year is going to be a banger with no earthquakes, here’s to hoping…
Welcome to
University of Canterbury Law School
from Russell McVeagh
An official Obiter welcome to all the wee legal critters just starting out at Law School, and a
Mr. Cool casual wave to the veterans who are returning to the battle, fight hard comrades.
This first issue of Obiter for 2013 has some great content to ease you into a year back at Law
School. This includes; guides and legal tool kits, a couple of write-ups by students’ experiences
over the summer working as Clerks and…. SUDOKU! Sorry if you hate them, but I made a
bet (joke) that I’d put one in every issue, so that’s that.
Looking forward to meeting those of you who are new, and seeing those of you who I know,
‘tis going to be a great year!
“
Russell McVeagh is a committed supporter of numerous
competitions and events at each university throughout the
country including the National Client Interviewing Competition
and Canterbury/Otago sports exchange, which are highlights
of the law school calendar. I’d definitely recommend
getting involved in them as they are fun events
and a great way to meet people.
”
Michael Kensington (University of Canterbury)
Russell McVeagh Summer Clerk 2012-2013
We look forward to seeing you at our
sponsored events:
– Client Interviewing Competition
– Law Revue
– Debating
– CV Writing Workshop
– Canterbury/Otago Sports Exchange
A BIG thanks to our sponsors;
Russell McVeagh, Chapman Tripp, IPLS, College of Law,
Wynn Williams and Lane Neave. Also this issue’s
contributors; Alison Chamberlin, Ruth Williams, Grace Hall,
and Te Putairiki. Cheers everyone!
Peace from AJ and myself, Ricky Jordan.
CONTENTS
3-7) President’s, Education, Social and Competitions Reports. WHOO!
8) Te Pūtairiki - Māori Law Students’ Society
10) Three page edible bonanza by Grace Hall
18) Welcome to Laws101...
19) Need a Buddy? Check out Lawsoc Buddy Night! Written by Alison Chamberlin
23-24) Expectations versus Reality by Ruth Williams
25) Get your serving of Obiter fun HERE!
www.summerclerks.co.nz
If you want to contribute to Obiter magazine, please contact AJ at aek40@uclive.ac.nz
www.wynnwilliams.co.nz/the-best
Meet the team at the Law Recruitment Evening
on Tuesday 5th March | We can’t wait to meet you
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Time to meet the 2013 Lawsoc Executive!
These may, or may not have been written by other members of the Exec...
Simon Inder – President
Hey hey everybody!! I’m Simon Inder, your 2013 President!!! :) :) :) As the name would suggest, it is my job to preside over things. And preside I
shall. A while back I tried to adopt the nickname ‘Sly-man Inder’. It never caught on... :( This surprised me because it really suits my cool image
(which if I’m being honest with you, takes a fair amount of work to maintain). Last year I went a tad crazy and bought some chinos (I only ever
wore jeans before so this was a REALLY big deal – I mean the difference between jeans and chinos is quite astounding).This year I’m thinking
it’s time for something even more drastic, like a tattoo!!! Cause there’s nothing cooler than a guy with a real tattoo. ;) Anyway...2013 is going
to be one cracker of a year, let me assure you- especially those competitions. I actually used to be Competitions Officer on Lawsoc, but now I
sit on top of the pyramid. Just think of me as Obama, but with a constitution that enables me to carry out my election promises...I guess that
makes Lawsoc cooler than America hahaha!
I could go on for a few more pages, but you should probably keep reading about the rest of my exec. I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH!!!! 2013 IS GOING TO BE SO FUN!!!! AAAAAARGH I’M EXCITED!!!
Andrew Holland – Vice President
Hey guys, Andy Holland here your 2013 VP. I know you’re all thinking it so I’m just going to say it – I’m mo-foing cool. There’s not much about
myself that I (and all of you) don’t love, and so pretty much since my conception it has been my goal to become BVPE (best vice president ever).
I can already tell how stoked you guys are to have me, but trust me; the road to BVPE has just begun!
Have you heard of popcorn parties? Cos while you’ve been busy over summer thinking about me, I’ve been styling my hair, hitting the sunbeds, and planning the BPPE (best popcorn party ever). It’s pretty much a foam party with popcorn instead. The trick is to keep moisture at 1315%; otherwise you will end up with too many ‘old maids’, (unpopped kernels). I’m a fan of ACTII Butter Lovers, but am really keen to get your
feedback on this, so please hit me up when you see me around.
BPPE brought to you by BVPE!!
Sean Maskill – Treasurer
Hi, my name is Sean Maskill. My hobbies include; completing tax returns for my friends, balancing my cheque book and keeping a close eye on
the Nasdaq. My idea of a perfect date would be to take a girl shopping where I could impress her with my quick financial skills (by figuring out
exactly how much 30% off is). If I really like her I may even give her the GST exclusive price. After that I could take her to dinner, and if it’s going
well I may even bring up the FTSE, if you know what I mean. I don’t meant to be crude, but oil prices really get me going and when it reaches
$100 a barrel I feel as though I could burst. So, if you’d like to join me in petitioning Valentine’s Day to be changed to the end of the financial
year, then give me a call. But remember ladies I operate a last in first out policy.
Andrew Pullar – Education Officer
Hey guys, I’m Andrew and I’m your education office for 2013. No doubt you will have spotted me in the marble palace, but if not just ask anyone about the 6ft 4 100kg tanned genius... Cause that’s me. I have some pretty epic academic initiatives planned for the year, but more importantly I am committed to making sure that all 2013 law students are as good looking as me.. Well almost. When I’m not GTL’ing I like hanging
with my boo Kate - love you babe. I also starred in the movie napolean dynamite. What can I say, I’m a wanted man. I’m absolutely pumped
about 2013 so when you see me round come and have a yarn, il teach you everything you need to know about being Law Schools biggest
babe and the things that really matter when you’re a law student.
Jacob Nutt – Promotions Officer
Kia ora I’m Jacob. Some people call me the Promo Homo, due to my extensive modelling portfolio, my love of fine wine and cuisine, my thirst
for high street shopping and my general life choices. But, while this may all be true, I feel that those people are perhaps a little misguided.
This year I’m ditching the Promo Homo persona and over the summer I have embarked on a strenuous strengthening and conditioning
programme. This includes a demanding weights programme which has seen me smash previous UC Recreation Centre records. I have already
been extended an invitation to join the power dome, which, when benching 130, was a given. Move over Promo Homo, if you come across me
around campus in 2013, give a shout out to Jake the Muss.
Waldo Louis Abrie – Social Officer
I wake up thinking about Angie. I fall asleep thinking about Angie. There are few moments during my days which don’t involve thoughts of Angie… Her strawberry blonde hair pertains to none of society’s negativity, and instead represents only one word to me, beauty. Her smell raises
the hairs on the back of my neck, and it’s a smell I often indulge in, inhaling deeply whenever she passes, or bends over. LET ME OUT OF THIS
CAGE ANGIE! I’ve never felt more trapped by a woman. So I write… I write thousands of lines… every single line about her. Angie, you are a
part of me like the sun is a part of the day, like the moon is a part of the night. HOW CAN I TELL YOU?! Maybe one of these days, when you smile
at me, or wave, or even blink, I’ll have the courage to tell you, “Angie, I love you with all my being”.
– Secretly yours, Waldo.
Angela Gray – Social Officer
My names Ang, and when I’m not studying for my law exams or taking over Joes Garage with my 7 girl flatmates, I love to play a lot of squash.
A really important part of squash is understanding balls. I really know my balls, hard ones, soft ones, bouncy ones... As your 2013 Lawsoc Social
Officer, events like Race Night and THE BALL are a really good way for me to get know your balls (know what I mean :P). In all seriousness,
Waldo and I are planning an epic social calendar for you all this year! Please feel free to stop for a yarn and buy a squash fun raising raffle ticket.
Aj Ekmescic – Obiter Editor
Hello my lovelies, AJ here, the new editor of the Obiter for 2013! Well, there’s also Ricky but no one really cares about him. Like it’s not that I
dislike him, ‘cause I’m totz nice to everyone… it’s just I don’t really like him. Like I mean he is a bit of a wanker, and like seriously who the fuck
voted for him. Like now I’m stuck working with him and I just don’t understand it! I mean like, I’m fucking cool, I’m from Auckland, and I have
over 700 FB friends and I have to work with someone who rides a fucking BMX! It’s just like Ricky and most other people are beneath me. I
mean I’m related to Novak Djokovic for God’s sake. Anyway that’s a little bit about me. Really looking forward to doing obiter this year, it will be
like amazeballs! OMG OMG OMG YAH so excited!
xox Aлйa$tæyshja Eskimo
Ricky Jordan – Obiter Editor
Girls are so ungrateful. I’m not just moaning here, they really are. I do all the things people go on about as being ‘romantic’. I make them breakfast in bed. Know what response I get, invariably, every single time I do that for a girl? ‘Who are you and what the HELL are you doing in my
house?!’ Rude. Just plain rude. Hi, I’m Ricky, one of two Obiter Editors for Lawsoc this year. I edited the magazine last year, and despite failing
to deliver on my election promise of getting McDonalds vouchers into the magazine that time round, I am actually going to do that this year.
Hopefully. Aren’t people with long memories annoying?
So if you want a guy who is dedicated, and I mean dedicated, like making sure you are safe and ok ALL the time, not just in the daytime but
night-time too, waiting on the street, checking your back yard, adoring you through the window, waiting up all night to be sure of your safety,
texting you 1247 times a day (because if our relationship had a number it would be 1247) to let you know that its true, I do think about you
ALL the time, look no further... than Andrew Orr. Not me. Of course not me. That would be ridiculous. And, like, illegal too. PS my eyes gleam in
the dark when viewed through window panes. It’s like a cute night light. Just for you.
Nicky Wynne – Competitions Officer
Ni hao.
My Name is Nicky Wynne #Wynning. I come from somewhere in Asia. My parents dislike me very much because I’m not studying maths. I’m
pretty smart though, I’m talking like a serious 9/10 on the smarts scale. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea though, I’m fun as fuck – with
many other hobbies including reading, writing, memorising things like Nicki Minaj lyrics, doing practice essays and dancing on the machines
at Timezone. I’m pretty well rounded you could say. Not like dem nerdy Asians churrr. Some people watch me cutting moves like an Asian Chris
Brown and say ‘wow, she fly’. My moves are very fly. ‘Why do law’ you ask… That’s simple, my goal is to be as famous as Bruce Lee, but not as an
athlete as what I like to call a ‘lawthlete’.
Feel free to introduce yourself to me if you see me around Law School. I’ll definitely remember your name.
Remember to ‘Ruv Raw Ruv Rife’.
zài jiàn.
Francesca Chapman – Competitions Officer
Hey I’m Comps Officer.
I have had a lot of involvement in debating and mooting during my high school years, and am currently living with the renowned, opinionated
Andrew Puller, to hone my skills.
I am here to organise the competitions for all the little kidlets of Lawsoc, although I present myself in a quite motivated manner, from time to
time I do occasionally like to hit the drink hard and let my hair down.
I have planned many competitions for this year, from the fun and wild pub quiz to the challenging and cognitively stimulating Mooting competition. My focus is to encourage a wilder student community to be involved in the many Lawsoc competitions and build a strong camaraderie within the Law School.
Andrew Orr – Junior
Hi I’m Andrew Orr. But you can call me Paddles - not because of my boat-related surname but because I have unusually large hands (which
makes me a demon in the water). I will fit the junior role really well because I am actually only 12 years old. You’ve probably seen me walking
around Uni, thinking “whoa he must be a boy genius”. Well yeah, I kind of am. I had to do quite a bit of extensive research on women’s bras to
find out which brand had the most support when I made my speech for the LAWSOC elections. Being 12 I had no prior knowledge or experience with bras. I will support LAWSOC like Victoria’s Secret supports women’s breasts. (Breasts are the proper term for titties). But nudity is not
new to me, just ask Ollie Burgess. I wouldn’t be surprised if people start getting Bieber Fever when they see me in the spotlight of the junior
role - just look at my eyes. I’d say I’ll be in hot demand pretty damn soon. Who can resist a boy genius who drives a scooter?
Ollie Burgess – Junior
Hi I’m Ollie Burgess- you’ll recognise me around law school as being the freakishly tall junior who still thinks it’s cool to wear backwards caps.
My favourite past times include drinking beer from my fellow junior’s arse crack, forgetting my lines in Law Revue and using my Lawsoc prestige to pull bitches. I first got involved in Lawsoc when I noticed a gap for the position as King of Law School and have devoted this summer to
training for the position. This included criticising people’s fashion sense and sending my coffee back when the beans weren’t freshly ground
(yes, you can taste the difference). Not everyone can be King, it takes good looks, personality and most importantly, swag. Move over Mike
Mullins, I’m the whole package.
P.S- Ladies, every King needs his Queen. Please send all applications to 0272057970.
Jen Jones – Law Revue Producer
BULA, BULA! Yes I did just pretty much get really tanned in Fiji while I was there over summer, no biggy. Tis your favourite Law Revue Producer here and boy do I produce............Revue. So I think what is really important in a good Revue is to get as much promotion as possible. Has
anyone gone to Ad Lib Cafe? For meals that are delicious and nutritious. Yum! Also, if you are renting try Whittle Knight & Boatwood, arguably
the ugliest management team in NZ. But in light of that maybe head down to the Fox for a wee tipple you Champagne Socialists you. Actually, have you tried Belle Hunting? I don’t know what it is I just liked it on Facebook, but instead of that I like putting quality banter before your
friend’s feelings. Gallavin fancies a bit of that too as a writer. Wow, I have a shit load of likes on my page. You could say I don’t actually like them
all, just a select few. Here is a tip; flip your pillow over to get the cold side. Finally, here’s a tip................. if it is raining outside just spend the day
cuddled up in bed. The kids....they will love you for it.
Ashleigh May – NZLSA Conference Organiser
Hello Porcupines!
I’m Ashleigh Hillary May and (as you probably all know) I am the first lady of Lawsoc. Being first lady is a tough job, but I don’t give a turtle’s
wink — I just love my Sindy-Windy. When I’m not busy tending to my man, I’m often found wandering aimlessly through the maternity ward
at Christchurch woman’s. I’m one clucky kitten!
I try not to let being at the top of the Law School social hierarchy get to my head – I know that I’m just a girl from Gore at heart.
I hope you turtle-doves know me a little better now!
xoxo
GUide to law, life, and everything
Because law is everything... Remember?
As this is my final year at law school I thought the only way to adequately farewell the law school is to pass on the wisdom
that I have obtained over the past 4 years.
First and foremost you’re not that great. You were probably a big fish in a small pond at high school and your mummy
and daddy probably told you what a big deal you are. But you’re at Uni now and EVERYONE is like that. With that in mind
please remove the stick you have deeply implanted in your ass. Just because you’re studying law you’re not a lawyer! Until
you pass 101 you’re barely considered a law student. So please don’t discuss cases around the library as though you’re
god’s gift to the law.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way I’m sure we will all cohabitate better in the new frontier that is the central library,
with the rest of the plebs. Prior to this year we resided in our own separate part of the campus where we could be elitist
and generally better than the rest of the student body, in peace. We have a reputation to maintain so please if you want to
be recognized as one of us then buy a mac, dress appropriately and cultivate a taste for coffee, and no, hot chocolate does
not count.
For better or for worse law school is just like high school, and it’s better to be inside the tent pissing out, than outside the
tent pissing in. The good thing is that unlike high school you just need to be a halfway decent human being to be accepted the problem is halfway decent people are hard to find here. The even better thing about Canterbury is that the
lecturers repeat material and this is where being on the inside helps. Notes and past papers are handed through the years
and the ranks to help each other out, but beware, rely on these too much and you will be pinpointed as a user so be sure
to contribute to the circle as well, or at least make it look as though you are.
Now for the more pertinent information for surviving these hallowed halls. Regardless of your personal opinion on the
Treaty of Waitangi, when faced with the inevitable essay question revolving around Justice Prendergast’s quote that the
“Treaty is a simple nullity” you will disagree with this. You will point out all the reasons why this was an “incorrect” statement to make and how the Māori were in fact a high functioning body of people at the time. Go against this at your peril,
they will tell you that “there is no such thing as a wrong answer so long as it’s well researched”, this is a lie.
Make friends with the librarians! Show your face in the first few weeks and take the “library tour”, although, what this will
look like in the central library I have no idea. Law librarians know more about the law collection than anyone else does, or
ever will. Also get wireless printing set up, it will save you a lot of time when everyone else is struggling to find a computer
on due dates. The IT desk on the first floor will set this up for you. Be nice to them too, they fix everything.
An unfortunate part of being a law student is the workload. In the three weeks preceding exams you will live at Uni. After
hours sitting in a café complaining about how much work you have to do but not actually doing anything, this will be
crunch time. To survive this you need a core study group. They need to be smart diligent and have good chat. Without
these key components you will quite likely die, or worse, fail. Do not study with someone you don’t like! You will study
until you’re about to cry and you don’t want to have the added stress of dealing with some asshole know-it-all as well. A
good way to get to know law students is to attend LAWSOC events. This is especially good for meeting older students who
can give you tips on specific papers. These students will certainly be around during the exam hell period, and are great to
go to with questions; they love to act like they know what they are talking about. This works best if you loudly ask a group
of them and let them argue with each other and sit back and take notes.
Take advantage of the buddy system! If your buddy is crap get a new one. But don’t ask them for help the night before
your essay is due. They are much busier than you. The best time to ask for help would be before you even start. They, along
with the librarians, will stop you from wasting a lot of your time doing the wrong thing. Fight smarter not harder.
At the end of the day you will most likely all get through anyway. The Uni needs your money, and you’re an ambitious first
year with dreams of making partner by 30 and fighting the injustices of the legal system, who will pay anything to make
that happen.
Good luck kids, I look forward to seeing you all sitting in the café complaining about how hard your 1500 word essay is
and how worried you are for the exams. I also look forward to finding this amusing.
LEgAl aNon xx
”LAWSOC
BUDDY
NIGHT”
The beginning of every new year brings with it new challenges and new opportunities, and if I
could offer a piece of advice for every first year Canterbury law student out there, it would be this:
go to Lawsoc Buddy Night!
Having ventured down from the North Island in my first year of university to inhabit that dwelling
of drunken depravity known as Unihall, I never got to experience much life outside of Chausseurs
wine goons, binges in peoples’ dorm rooms, and those mysteriously sporadic fire alarms that used
to go off three times during an average Thursday night. If you weren’t an engineering student
(strategically switching to a geology degree in Semester 2), you just weren’t part of the norm. Law
was that class you showed up to once or twice a week, either to have someone expounding a bit of
Latin at you, talking about some old courts that existed in the 17thcentury, or jabbering on about
some other hoopla with seemingly questionable relevance. By the end of term 2 I think I may have
pulled out my course reader to find out exactly what it was that I had signed up for.
So it took me until my third year of university to actually organise my way out of a paper bag and
show up to buddy night. And what a night! We arrived late – Lone Star was already packed and the
band was playing some pleasant background tunes. That sign saying “$3 wines” at the bar seemed
to be surrounded in fluorescent lights with gigantic “come hither” arrows pointing towards it. We
flocked like seagulls and drank as if we had been stranded in an Arabian desert for months – like
T.E. Lawrence. The effects became apparent.
One idealistic friend showed up with the best of intentions, believing that she would change one
first year student’s life by offering her “wise” advice from two years of law exam experience. Unfortunately, it was clear to no one (including herself) whether she actually managed to meet her
“buddy” that evening. The result was emotional confusion for the rest of the year. She didn’t know
whether to feel guilt over failing to carry out the (theoretical) main purpose of the evening due to
drunken incompetence, or satisfaction in having remained coherent enough to make a friendly
introduction to her buddy. Come exam time, there were no e-mails with requests along the lines of
“Can you please spoon-feed me the condensed version of a whole year’s worth of LAWS 101 lectures and tutorials into a palatable form so that I can regurgitate them in an exam in the hope that
I may be able to scrape through to next year?” Alas, the mystery remains unsolved.
After spinning plenty of yarns in the courtyard, 1am soon rolled around – Lone Star closing time.
We had a bit of a look around the place and realised that we were some of the few stragglers left.
One friend even managed to take the opportunity to make an entirely different kind of buddy at
this time…the seemingly more popular form of buddy to an academic one.
All in all it was the epitome of a good law event – relatively small in terms of numbers, but plenty
of alcohol, good-quality chat and a welcome opportunity to meet all those “John Doe’s” in law
lectures who you see every day but whose identities remain unknown. My only regret is not attending buddy night in my first two years of uni. My only negative of the event was from the next
morning when that 10am Sav Blanc migraine hit!
- Alison Chamberlin
My Summer Summer Clerking
What a great summer I’ve just
had! I was fortunate enough
to have summer clerked at
a very prestigious law firm
indeed. “Which firm was it Mr
Sharnington?” I hear you all
asking. Well, it was none other
than the world renowned firm
Bratwurst Sizzlers, located in
the epicentre that is Lincoln
township. A short 25 minute
drive from New Zealand’s
capital, non-quake damaged
Christchurch, Bratwurst Sizzlers leads the way in a multitude of legal essentials, which
include beer drinking law,
“fun-law” (as coined by B.S. –
the creators of the speciality),
as well as every other area of
law that matters. It certainly
is the best law firm that never
existed.
My days started at 3am,
where I was personally shaken
awake by the fun-law partner,
the ghost of Neil Armstrong –
what a privilege. Immediately
after my 25km wake-up run
I’m dumped in a giant pot of
coffee, which allows absorption of caffeine through the
skin without staining of my
perfect legal teeth, or wasting of precious legal time.
Throughout the rest of my
23.9 hour days I would have
a drip-line running caffeine
directly to my heart at the rate
of one cup per half minute.
**The costs of the caffeine
are brilliantly covered by
the $900p/h legal fees I was
charged out at. Partners at the
firm charge based on a “howmuch-do-you-have” system,
in which they take everything
the client has, and then eat
their souls to cover the costs.
At first I didn’t think this was
fair on the partners, but they
love the work they do, so
that’s alright I guess.
The substance of my days
this summer involved rigorous photo-copying of up to
a trillion pages a day, whipping sessions on Tuesdays
and Fridays, and also included
meet and greets with B-grade
celebrities like Nek Minit (who
needed advice on breach of
copyright- very exciting stuff ).
People often ask me what
my favourite part of the job
was, and after joking that it
was home time, I earnestly
inform them that it was actually when the partners would
yell so loudly at me that their
tonsils would extend out of
the legal abyss that is a partners throat, and gently slap
me around the eyes. Pure Joy.
At all times this summer I had
a smile stretched across my
previously youthful face. It
wasn’t my smile, mind you.
The advantages of summer
clerking are abundant and
numerous. They include;
meeting girls who also work
at the same law firm as you
do, learning the ins-and-outs
of photocopying and brownnosing, and not having a fun
summer but having a LEGAL
SUMMER!
My New Years was pretty
incredible if I don’t say so
myself, (I did). I spent it at
the firm partying with Lexis
Nexis and Brookers, two of the
craziest legal databases you
will ever meet! Who needs
RnV when you have LnB? Am I
correct?!
The legal world is a tough
one, but now I feel in a strong
position to give advice to
other less fortunate students
as to what it takes to make it
in law.
Here are some key tips:
Nugget number 1: work very
hard. Then work harder.
Nugget number 2: leave your
personality at the door.
Nugget number 3: don’t cry
during the invasive firm medicals!!!
Nugget number 4: the money
matters more than your personal happiness.
Mr Sharnington.
A Tool Kit of Legal Proportions.
Written by Grace Hall
So you made it to second year Law – congratulations; but then again, pretty much everyone makes it into second year Law these days. You’re
not that brilliant. Your prize for making through though is a friendly warning – if you thought first year Law was hard, think again. It only gets
harder from here my friends.
Fortunately, however, there are many of us who have been before you who can share our wisdom (and our notes) to enable you to survive the
next year two years of blood, sweat and tears. It’s simple really – you just need a 200 Level Tool Kit, and you’ll be right. Invest in one today – it’s
more crucial than mere intelligence.
The 200 Level Tool Kit – everything you need to survive the compulsories
1.
Constitutional and Administrative Law in New Zealand by Professor Philip Joseph
While you can most likely survive the other 4 compulsory papers without purchasing the required tomes, for Public Law you NEED to purchase
yourself a copy of the Bible. You then need to devote most of the year to learning the Bible verbatim. Be sure to take note of PJ’s friendly page
references in lectures, then refer; memorise; repeat; cite PJ – the Public Law exam formula to get down to a fine art.
2.
PowerPoint
If you don’t yet have PowerPoint on your MacBook Pro (which, by the way is an important item to have at Law School if you’re to call yourself a
real law student) you better invest in it fast. Microsoft would be proud of the endorsement that Professor Todd’s lectures give to their PowerPoint product.
3.
A Box Drawing Book
No, not a book to draw the sort of boxes you’re thinking of (*get your head out of the gutter*), but a book in which to draw boxes in Professor
Toomey’s Land Law lectures. Boxes and Land Law are inexplicably linked at this Law School. Get used to it.
4.
A Spare Two Weeks
Come April you’ll become aware of a mad frenzied panic permeating all four corners of the Law Library Floor. For all you naïve young players,
this time of the year is known as Summer Clerking Application time. The time when everyone becomes competitive; the time when those who
miss out on Clerkships declare that, “I hate commercial law and big firms anyway, I’m all for criminal justice.”
If you want to apply for Clerkships, give yourself spare time to get your applications in. Welcome to the real world – you’ve got to do this at the
same time as preparing for midsessionals. Not so easy now, this Law School business, is it?
5.
A 3rd, 4th or 5th Year Friend
To provide you with screeds and screeds of their lovingly prepared notes and case summaries from previous years – saving you from putting in
the hard yards since ages ago.
If you don’t have such a friend, I pity you. And good luck.
6.
Access to Chris Gallavin’s Poetry Facebook Page
For the days when you need a little bit of deep and meaningful inspiration, or a reminder that there’s more to life than 16 hour days in the Law
Library, click ‘Like’ on Chris Gallavin’s Facebook page devoted to the poetic word. Such a kind Law School Dean providing yet another means of
procrastination.
7.
Coffee, Wine, Gin, Whisky
In that order. Quite possibly the only way to survive Midsessionals, and to ensure that you end the year with some sanity still in tact.
8.
Quizlet
Right, let’s get something straight – you’re second year now. You’re not a baby anymore. So stop making pretty study posters - you don’t have
the time for inane highlighting that you once upon a time did have, or drawing of snails to remind you what Donoghue v Stevenson was all
about.
Move up in the world young ones, and invest in some technology. Get Quizlet and say goodbye to making paper flashcards; say hello to flashcards on your mobile phone. Yes, there’s no escaping Law this year – if you want to pass, you better start living and breathing it.
Plus Sexual Offences and Homicide don’t make for pretty posters.
9.
A suitable Law School Wardrobe
This becomes particularly important this year if you really want to fit in. More important given that this year you’re going to be part of the
misfortunate reality of having to share Central Library with all the other plebs. Stand out from that lot.
10.
An enrolment for Equity in third year
Do yourself a favour and get the pain, torture and horrific-ness that is Equity over and bloody done with.
11.
For adult/vocal students – a stop button
We pay to listen to lecturers. Not to you. Despite all of your wisdom and knowledge, please learn when enough is enough.
12.
Nights free from Law for alcohol-involved merriment
Since as Stacie Orrico said, “There’s gotta be more to life”.
And remember too to please not complain to 4th and 5th year students about being busy/stressed/having too much to do. Let us hear that
and you won’t get our notes.
Expectations versus Reality of a...
Summer Clerk
Over the Summer I committed my days to my first student law clerk job in a small rural firm in my home town.
For me, a summer clerkship was a necessary step in my student career before committing to a lifetime in the
legal profession. I wanted to get a little head start by starting in small firm, before applying for a position in with
one of the big wigs. I went into the job with numerous assumptions about the legal profession and with my
personal legal aspirations, many of which were changed or at least somewhat challenged by my experience. I’m
not going to get too philosophical reflecting on my experience, but If you’ve ever been wondering what goes
on behind firm doors, read on to hear about how my expectations measured up to reality.
The People
Expectations:
I envisioned the cliché’ situation of a greenhorn law student entering a hostile, male dominated law firm (with
the odd quirky female law clerk for comic relief ) and an entrenched stench of snobbery seeping from the cracks
of closed office doors. I was nervous and on my guard.
Reality
Nuff said.
I couldn’t have been further from the truth. Luckily for this feminist the firm was full of women, (although this
feminist also regretfully adds that only one woman was a partner). Nevertheless, a good start. Everyone operated
on an “open door” policy which literally meant that every door was open, even the senior partner, at practically
all times bar meetings with clients. At first I was intimidated by the superiority of the partners, and the division
between the lawyers and the clerks at morning tea felt a little segregated. However conversation often crossed
over the invisible rabbit proof fence, and there was minimal hostility felt between anyone.
DO:
•
Carry a pen and paper with you whenever you get called into an office. If you’re given a research task,
or any task for that matter, write it down – because if you’re like me, or doing multiple tasks at once, it’ll be in
one ear and out the other. Repeatedly asking questions about tasks you’ve already been given is not a good
look.
The Place
Expectations:
•
Go to Friday night drinks. The firms appreciate the extra effort you make to socialise with the staff, and
it’s a great way to develop a friendly relationship with lawyers as well as a working relationship.
Perhaps I’ve watched too many Suits episodes, but I predicted a sky high office block with full glass windows,
marble desks and perhaps the odd Hockney original on the office walls.
•
Remember you’re a student and therefore bottom of the food chain. I once (and only once) made the
terrible remark to a partner that the mundane task of organising the client Christmas gifts was “stuff for the
secretaries”. I was politely reminded of my rank in the firm’s hierarchy, and that my primary task was to kiss arse
– not said in so many words of course.
Reality:
DON’T:
Slight exaggeration in my expectations. I knew of course that I was working in a rural law firm – Rural meaning
single floored, kitset desks and Dell PCs. We also had an amazing deeds storage room in the basement that was
more commonly referred to as “the dungeon”. I only had to venture down there once or twice, but whenever I
did I was sure that Fritzel himself was going to come out from the behind the file stacks and pounce. But to be
perfectly honest, the décor didn’t bother me a bit. A photocopier is a photocopier, when it comes down to it.
•
Be late for work. Even though you don’t feel like your services are in top demand sometimes, this is a
real life job you’ve got and punctuality (as well as probably being listed as one of your strengths on your CV)
is actually required. That sweet old law clerk with the desk next to your office has a fierce tongue, and it won’t
take long for the news to travel further.
The Work:
Expectations:
I thought I’d be up to my nuts in guts. Guts meaning work – ranging from research, client interviews, hell, maybe
if I was lucky I could pop along to some litigation in court! I thought I’d be in hot demand.
Reality:
Not so lucky. To cut to the chase I’ draw you up a Pi graph of my approximate work load...
•
Freak out if you can’t find the answer. As it turns out, research in the real world often leads to dead
ends. The lawyers aren’t handing you an old exam paper with a problem question for you to answer that they
already know the answer to. Research can involve some niggly interpretations of words in contexts that haven’t
been discussed by Burrows, Finn & Todd (omg WHAT?!) and sometimes the answer really is “I don’t know”. That’s
totally fine – but make sure you’ve done enough research to back that up. When you gather a bit of confidence,
it’s also OK to chuck in a cheeky “I think it might mean…” but don’t go writing any textbooks on it just yet.
•
Take yourself too seriously. Yes, it’s a job, so be professional. But it’s actually OK to laugh, talk about the
weekend, and occasionally walk around the office in bare feet (don’t quote me on the last one, purely circumstantial!) The thing that I learnt about the legal profession is that lawyers are people too. They drink, they laugh,
they gossip at the weekly new matters meeting, and sometimes (but rarely ever) they make mistakes.
- Ruth Williams
Put that Entertainment inside me!
Riddles
Let IPLS take you to the Bar
It’s as easy as 1-2-3!
Optical Illusion
1) What always runs but never walks,
often murmurs, never talks, has a bed
but never sleeps, has a mouth but
never eats?
2) What is greater than God, more evil
than Satan? The poor have it, the rich
need it, and if you eat it you’ll die...
1.
Selectyourlocation
Christchurch, Auckland, Wellington, Dunedin, Hamilton
2.
Choose your course
13 weeks (7 online & 6 onsite)
“I want to finish as quickly as possible”
19 weeks (16 online & 3 onsite)
3) What gets wet when drying?
ANSWERS:
1) A river
2) Nothing
3) A towel
Laughter
“I used to know a schizophrenic guy.
He was good people.”
“What do we want!?
More research into a cure for ADHD!
When do we want it!?
Let’s play swingball!”
“I’ve been keeping a count of the
prostitutes I’ve been sleeping with.
Tally ho.”
“My girlfriend worries about me
cheating on a night out, but I always
try to reassure her and say to her: ‘Why
would I go out and have a burger when
I have steak at home?’ The only problem
is, when you are drunk, burgers are
AWESOME!.”
“Left leg says to the right leg... don’t talk
to the guy in the middle, he’s a dick.”
Fun fish fact #2
40% of all fish species inhabit fresh
water, yet less than .01% of the
earth’s water is fresh water.
Christchurch
classroom and
chill-out space
“I have other things I need to do as well”
3.
Man those lines are crooked! ... They are crooked, right??
Test it with a straight edge and you might be surprised.
Fun fish fact #1
Goldfish turn white if you put them in
complete darkness.
Createyourowntimetable
A new intake starts every month
Mix and match modules to suit your needs
Student Loans & Allowances available
0800 776 376
www.ipls.org.nz