The Ulitmate balance
Transcription
The Ulitmate balance
Feature every girl loves The Ulitmate balance BY MILAN ZOE everythinggirlslove.com “ “ In today’s world, young girls often glorify and look up to women who are married to athletes, rappers and other prominent and wealthy men who are primarily dependent on their husbands. But, we would like to introduce you to a boss chick whose marriage affiliation is only one of her many accomplishments. All before the age of 40, she was the former Vice President for Russell Simmons’ company, Rush Communications and worked for President Barack Obama. She’s also the founder of the organization WEEN, the Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network, that is committed to supporting, defending and promoting the balanced portrayal of women in entertainment and society. So without further adieu, please meet the phenomenal Valeisha Butterfield-Jones… Valeisha: I was a political science major. I chose political science because no one EGL: You attended Clark Atlanta University. What was your major and how did your education prepare you for what laid ahead of you after graduation? Valeisha: I was a political science major. I chose political science because no one would’ve believed in my dream in high school to work in the music business. Because it was such a foreign concept I figured that I’d be an entertainment lawyer. I did my research and found that most lawyers majored in political science. EGL: Did you always plan to go into the field you’re in today? Valeisha: Absolutely not. It’s funny because both of my parents are politicians. You’d think that with both of my parents as politicians, and me majoring in political science, it would kind of be the next logical step, but no. I thought it was boring, stuffy, and lame. I just wanted to go to New York and do what I saw on TV. I would’ve never predicted that there would actually be a Black President and that I would eventually work for him. It’s just funny how even when following your dreams, you still have to be flexible. internship, but it’s a foot in the door. After a couple weeks in, I said let me figure out the holes. Everybody was creative and had a bright idea but no one knew how to execute. I was like I’m going to be the executer in this building. They came up with ideas and I came up with a plan to make things happen, and that’s what I did. So I became an asset to the building. Finally I started bringing in money and once I started bringing in money, I kind of wrote my own salary. EGL: How did working for Russell in that capacity for seven years prepare you to work for the leader of the free world? Valeisha: Oh man, I call my work with Russell my MBA. Russell was a tough love kind of boss. He was very tough and very direct. If he didn’t like it he let you know. It gave you tough skin. EGL: That goes back to what you were saying earlier about how you might not know why you’re doing something but it prepares you for the next thing. So what are you working on now? EGL: When you began working for Russell Simmons you went from an intern to a vice president in just 3 years. Please explain how you managed to do that! Valeisha: A part of me wants to go back to DC but I think it’s time for me to focus on consulting and building my own business and firm around politics. So I’ll always continue to work in Washington and in politics, but now it’s time for me to kind of do it in my own way. So what’s next for me is making sure we don’t forget about other candidates. We got Barack back in office and that’s a great thing, but now we’ve got to focus on Congress and the Senate. We have to make sure we’re getting the right people elected in those seats because that’s where you feel the real impact in our own communities. Valeisha: I left my paid job at HBO for an unpaid internship. At that point I was soon to be 24 years old. I told myself I had to walk into this building with a plan. Yeah, it’s an unpaid EGL: What does it feel like to wake up every morning knowing you’re an African-American female and a part of such a small percentage of people who get to work for the Presi- everythinggirlslove.com The ultimate balance Yes I’m an African American woman, whos under 40, whos worked for the President of the United States and worked for her dreams to get there, but whats most exciting about my journey is that I wasn’t perfect. “ EGL: I know you went to Clark Atlanta University. What was your major, and how did your education prepare you for what laid ahead of you after graduation? dent? Valeisha: It feels good. Yes I’m an AfricanAmerican woman, who’s under 40, who’s worked for the President of the United States and worked her dreams to get there, but what’s most exciting about my journey is that I wasn’t perfect. I had to make some mistakes. So whenever I talk to girls I’m always like, ‘yeah, it looks shiny but you’ve got to know the hurdles and the struggles, and the falls and the get back ups that I had to take and make to get to this point.’ That’s what the journey is all about. I think if it were easy and if it was just handed to me and I didn’t have to struggle I wouldn’t even appreciate the moment I’m in right now. EGL: Did you run into any roadblocks because of your gender, age or ethnicity? Valeisha: Oh yeah! Just think about the music industry. Working for Russell was a safety net because Russell protected us from a lot of that in his building. The music business is male-dominated and it’s the same in Washington, DC. So being a woman can be twice as challenging because you have to work twice as hard to show your value, worth and ability. Then being somewhat attractive can be a challenge as well. Not only do guys not take you seriously, but women don’t take you seriously. Sometimes they assume the worst about you, like “what are you here for?” When I was a lot younger and the new kid on the block they figured I didn’t know much. I had to prove my intelligence. Even though I’m in my thirties now, I’m looked at as young in Washington because it’s an older group of people there. So I constantly have to prove and reinvent myself. EGL: What keeps you going? everythinggirlslove.com The ultimate balance Valeisha: I’m motivated by other women. My grandmother didn’t graduate from college, she’s 91 years old and the kindest woman you’ll ever meet. She put her family first. She was just an all around great woman. She was honest with me when I needed it most. She was my number one inspiration. I’m obsessed with my peers and young women who are on their grind and trying to figure it out as well. I really like Michelle Obama and Shonda Rhimes. EGL: It’s obvious that powerful women motivate you. What was your initial vision for WEEN? Did you anticipate it taking off like it did? Valeisha: Man! No I didn’t. I told Russell I had this idea for this program and I wanted to start focusing on young women and giving them other options other than wanting to be a video model or a dancer. There’s nothing wrong with that but I just want to create a program that shows young women what people like me do in this business. He was like, “yeah, yeah, do it,” like it was another idea. So I went back to the drawing board and had a meeting at my apartment about bringing together all the top executives in the music business. At the time, I was respected but I wasn’t quite there yet, so I didn’t know if people would respond. Sure enough, a few top executives came to the meeting just from my little email request. In that meeting there were 120 of us and the meeting lasted about 3 hours. So we walked out of it with a plan and the plan was we were going to create an organization to focus on creating balance in the music business. EGL: What’s your goal for WEEN in the next 5 years? Valeisha: It’s time for us to reach a wider audience so I want us to get involved in television and film. That’s one way we want to be able to touch girls in a meaningful and larger way. Also, if we talk it, we got to live it. We talk about the positive portrayal of women in television but we’ve got to be on television to create that balance. It’s time for us to start creating content and creating programs that focus on the lifestyles of women like you and me. There’s an entire audience out there full of women in college who want to do what we do but they don’t have that example portrayed on television. EGL: How important is giving back to you? Valeisha: It’s the most important thing. I always listen to something Oprah said a long time ago. She said, “Follow your passion and the money will follow.” I’ve always adopted that motto. My passion is giving back. I think it’s something we’ve all got to commit to. If we don’t then we’re doing all this work and not leaving anything behind or creating a new generation to take the reigns. The ultimate balance EGL: What advice would you give to women trying to make it in a man’s world as an executive? Valeisha: Let the word “no” be your best friend. I think that “no” is a powerful word and it requires no attitude or explanation. I didn’t use it at first. As women, when we’re young and trying to follow our dreams in a male-dominated world, we just want to say yes. We’re nurturers and we just want to accommodate. I think sometimes people take advantage of that and the word “no” can be powerful in a lot of settings. EGL: So what do you have planned in 2013? You mentioned starting your own firm. Can you talk to us more about what your plans are? Valeisha: Yes, it’s the firm and its television. The firm first will connect Hollywood to Washington DC and is all about creating that Cinergy between the the world of politics and the world of entertainment. It’s launching now and we already have clients and people who are involved. Television is also really important in regards to sharing the stories of women working behind the scenes and watching those women chase their dreams. The television programming would be an extension of what we do with WEEN to empower young girls. EGL: That’s exciting! So, now that you are a mother, how has motherhood changed your life? Valeisha: Ha! Oh boy, I wish I knew. Motherhood will shut everything down in a great way. I have a six-month-old son, and my entire adulthood, before he came around, was about jet-setting. I didn’t plan ahead. I worked hard, but I played hard too! I would enjoy my girl time on the weekends and hanging out. My son is definitely the boss. He runs this house and so mommy-hood definitely changes your priorieverythinggirlslove.com ties. Now, I don’t care about the hot party. I care about really creating a legacy for my son and being an example for him of what I hope his wife will be one day. It’s definitely changed my perspective. EGL: How did you know your husband was the one? Valeisha: Timing was everything. I’ll never forget… I was at a point in life with relationships where I just gave up. I felt like love was going to have to find me at that point. Sure enough, a mutual friend of ours introduced us over lunch and the moment he walked into the restaurant my heart dropped. For a girl that’s been over it, he was fine, but it was something else about him and till this day I can’t put my finger on it. EGL: How do you deal with being a “basketball wife”? Valeisha: It’s really hard and I didn’t understand how hard it would really be, especially when you have a career of your own. Now, if you completely give your life to your marriage and your husband and you don’t have a job or goals outside of that, it’s probably not as hard. You can pick up and go when he gets traded or moves to another team. But for me, it’s really hard because in the beginning of our marriage we were a long distance couple. We didn’t even live in the same house until our son came. We’ve only lived together for 7 or 8 months. EGL: How do you balance being a wife, mother, philanthropist and executive? Valeisha: I have goals and I plan ahead. That’s one way to have balance. It helps me cut out a lot of BS or things that don’t matter or won’t contribute to my goals. My goal is to have a healthy household, The ultimate balance The ultimate balance a healthy marriage, a healthy growing son that grows up to be a great man one day and a career that matters. EGL: What’s one piece of advice you’d give to women dealing with the balancing act? Valeisha: Spend a day to just shut down. All the way down. I take time to go to the beach, even if it’s to Miami for a two-day trip by myself. I only take my husband’s calls and that’s it. As a woman, you need your time to just unwind and release. “ EGL: How important is it for you to maintain a sisterhood and to make time for a girls’ night out? Valeisha: I’m a girl’s girl! My husband was out of town for the last two days so Rocsi came to Dallas. We ordered pizza, we played taboo and we didn’t go to any parties. We just had girl time. I think it’s so easy to get caught up in your family that you forget about your girlfriends. EGL: Describe yourself in one word. Valeisha: Humble. There’s always someone better than me and better than us. There’s always someone smarter, better looking, and more successful. So I always have humility and remind myself that there’s a world full of outstanding successful women. I’m not the only one. everythinggirlslove.com