April - Sophie Davis Biograph

la Sophie Davis
palabra
?
Abril 2010
Que lo que?
what is actually going on at Sophie Davis and beyond, because we care that much
**April Fools’ Day has been moved to whenever you are reading this. We run on Sophie time.**
Class-Wide
L ve Affair
OUR FUTURE SECURED
Automatic Match for
Graduates of Specialized High Schools Bronx
Science, Stuyvesant,
The class of 2014 arrived at Sophie Davis in the fall of 2009. We have come
to find that this class has the strongest
sense of unity that most of us have ever
seen. This school year, they won the spirit competition at Fall Sports Night with
their original step routine and also won
first place at Sing! 2010. First years have
also largely contributed to the recent increase in club activities. Needless to say,
the Biograph, among many other clubs
greatly appreciates their input and work.
Such extensive camaraderie, seeming
selflessness of almost every student, and
apparent genuine kindheartedness towards one another can only mean one
thing. There exists a class-wide love affair
in the class of 2014. When I shared this
realization of mine with Princess Okolo,
(HAPPY? THIS IS YOUR SHOUTOUT) he
said, “I mean, we have quite a few couples already like Navid and Himali and
Augustine and Alibel. I think we all are actually in love with each other.” The school
is waiting for the drama to begin but,
we have yet to find out who the drama
mamas even are in this class. Seriously?
You can’t even identify the class divas?
What is known is that just recently Alibel and Augustine exchanged a few
heated words. Apparently the argument
escalated to the point where Augustine threw hair gel at Alibel! Augustine
was so angry because Alibel had been
spending nights “studying” with John
Denesopolis. When asked about their
study-buddy rendezvous, John replied,
“We are in the study room so often that
we should have beds in there!” I can understand why Augustine was so upset.
Please be advised that these random
love spats between or amongst first
year students may continue. Please be
alert for any projectile objects including
but not limited to hair gel, chemistry textbooks, subs-conscious sandwiches, duffel bags, and foosball balls.
Don’t worry Augustine and Alibel, this is
only normal. We’ve been waiting for a
fight to break out in your class. Welcome
to Sophie and let the drama begin. .
by Linda “Gaga” Alvarez
and Moiuri Siddique
and Brooklyn Tech (let’s not get
carried away)
“This is the best decision our schools have ever made. I am
Dean Kollisch and I approve of this.” -Dean Donald Kollisch
For many children in middle schools across New
York City, Stuyvesant High
School, The Bronx High
School of Science and The
Brooklyn Technical Something have become more
than just “good” high
schools. Paralleling Harvard, Yale and Princeton’s
elite standards and fierce rivalry, these high schools have
become the Holy Trinity of high school education. But as
of February 30, 2010 two of these schools will go above
and beyond that of only offering a high school diploma
to graduates who go on to pursue higher education.
The Sophie Davis School of Biomedical Education is an extremely prestigious 7-year accelerated medical program
located in New York City. Applicants are evaluated on multi-
continues on page 2
Petition to Change En Mi Vida:
Hay Muchas Cosas
Claw Hand to
Gaga Hand
Querida Diary,
-ah
ah-ah a ”
a
R
-m
“ Ra
Roma
a
m
Ro
As many of you know, "Claw
Hand" is a physical abnormality caused by a severe compression of the ulnar nerve.
This compression manifests
itself as pinkie, ring finger, and
partial back of the hand numbness resulting in a deformity
that resembles a bear claw. As
similar as the position is to an
animal claw, it is more strikingly similar to the famous "Lady
Gaga claw". You may have seen
such hand positioning during
Lady Gaga's various live performances or, most notably,
in her "Bad Romance" video.
Recently, physicians have been
noticing an influx of
patients with ulnar
nerve
compression
due to elbow joint inflammations. When
interviewed further,
physicians discovered
that this increase in
elbow joint inflammations in their patients
is due to radical Lady
Gaga dancing. Lady
Gaga's music, with its
catchy dance beats
and care-free pop lyrics, has caused a
nationwide danccontinues on page 2
Cuando vivia en España, tenia tres
pollos en mi farma. Me gustaria
los pollos mucho. Ahora yo siempre como m&ms. Hay muchos colores de m&ms y mi color favorita
es verde porque el verde significa
la vida. Cuando estoy aburrido yo
veo futbol en la television y hablo
con mi amiga favorita, Viera Lima.
Ella es muy smarto y espero que
ser como ella. Dani McBeth tambien es mi amigo pero yo hablo con
Viera mas. Tomamos el tren juntos
continúa en la página dos
PAGE 2
continued from page 1
from la página una
y siempre hablamos de la
escuela, el subjecto, y las estudiantes. Las estudiantes
son nice. Pero yo pienso
que las estudiantes estudian mucho y no parties a lot.
!Oy vey! Pienso que la escuela gives los estudiantes
mucha que hacer. Sobre Sophie Davis. A veces me gusta bailar y cantar. Mi cancion favorita es ‘La Tortura’
por Shakira. Ok, estoy muy
aburrido ahora. Voy a escritar en the next 4.56 dias.
XOXO
Serafín Piñol-Roma
Ali, the unhappy, non-Bronx
Science/Stuy grad.
Invincible Ian, the Bronx
Science graduate.
ple levels in the form of personal
essays, interviews, high school
transcripts and of course, the
high school you graduated from.
With an admittance rate that rivals colleges in the Ivy League,
there is no question that those
who attend are the crème de la
crème. Once accepted, students
are not only guaranteed a sound
college education, but a superior
medical education as well, culminating in their placement into
one of six affiliated U.S medical
schools. Given such a well-rounded package, it is no surprise that
in every graduating Sophie Davis
class is a handful of students from
Stuyvesant and Bronx Science.
tance into Sophie Davis much more than a
dream come true. Several thousand dollars in
scholarship funds now support Stuyvesant and
Bronx Science graduates who attend Sophie
Davis throughout their five years at Sophie
and extend further to cover expensive medical
school tuition and fees for their remaining two
years at one of the affiliated medical schools.
Furthermore, these students will not only gain
an automatic match stea but they will be allocated special seats of admission into their
medical school of choice within the group of
school affiliated with Sophie Davis. “These
students have proven to be the best minds of
our generation,” says Sophie Davis Scholarship
Coordinator Robert Whipsburn, “and it is our
responsibility to ensure that their brilliance is
not lost amidst financial struggles or admittance into a second or third-choice school.”
However, the result of a
recent partnership between
Stuyvesant, Bronx Science and
Sophie Davis will make accep-
Curiously however, Brooklyn Tech was not included in this partnership. When asked why
this deal was not also extended to our comrades in Brooklyn, Whipsburn responded as
continued from page 1
Gaga’s claw.
Sophie Davis is not just the
home to future physicians of
America but also to The Office’s next big star, Christopher Bandera. Sophie’s court
jester, as he is known around
here, has recently dropped
the bomb that he will play
Andres Bernardo (aka Andy
Bernard but hispanic-ier) on
NBC’s next big hit project, La
Oficina. Recently, Telemundo, NBC’s sister channel, announced in January at their
seasonal show lineup press
conference in NYC, that the
NBC hit show would be remade into a version that the
hispanic audience could call
its own. La Oficina, as it would
ing phenomena, with many participants mimicking the famous
"Gaga Claw". It was for this very
reason that Dr. Dray from Harlem Hospital started a petition
to have the medical term "claw
hand" be changed to "Gaga hand".
Dr. Dray states that, "changing
"claw hand" to "Gaga hand" allows future doc[tor]s to remembe called, has caused a lot of
excitement among its Latino
followers and has auditioned
young unknown talent for the
show’s characters. Bandera
who auditioned in NYC, states
that “people have always said
that I looked like Andy Bernard and that made me want
to audition. I didnt think that I
would get the part but now that
I have I am very excited”. The
show which will begin filming its
first 10 episodes in NBC studios
at Rockefeller Center in July,
which as Bandera puts it, “will
give [him] time to work on [his]
espanol”. !Mucha suerte Chris!
by Nestor Maldonado
follows, “I’m afraid I’m not at
liberty to comment on that issue.” Upon further prodding he
did however shed a little light
on why Brooklyn Tech was excluded. “There seems to be a
lack of motivation in Brooklyn
Tech graduates. It may be because they have spent several
hours a day traveling all the way
to school (Brooklyn Tech is arguably the least transport-friendly), only to have to climb several
flights of stairs and maneuver
around classrooms on eight different floors. By the time they sit
down they are exhausted, and
the learning hasn’t even begun.
It’s a tragic situation.” Several
Board of Education officials, parents and Brooklyn Tech students
themselves sympathize with the
truth of Whipsburn’s statement.
While Brooklyn Tech surely
seems to be a goal for students
in the present, in light of recent discussion about removing
Brooklyn Tech from the list of
Specialized High Schools, it may
not be a model for the future.
Nevertheless, in a landmark
collaboration that celebrates
the achievements of Brooklyn Tech’s rivals, Sophie Davis
paves a road of gold for Stuyvesant and Bronx Science graduates, offering more than just
guaranteed admission to their
choice medical school and freedom from financial burdens,
but above all, a secure future.
by Arjun Dhayalan
ber the dance craze epidemic that engulfed
and entire nation and prob[ab]ly most of
the world, yo." As of now, the petition has
reached over a million physician signature
including Dr. Drew, Dr. E.Vil, Dr. Donald
Kollisch, Dr. Phil (even though he is not
a real physician), and of course Dr. Santosh Sangari (“Very good idea. Hai na??”).
If you are interested in signing this petition
please visit www.iprayinthehausofgaga.com.
by Linda “Gaga” Alvarez
Sophie’s Own Hits a
Home Run at TV audition
Andy Bernard.
Andres Bernardo.
Biographrealone
The Sophie Davis
the
The voice of Sophie Davis students since 1973
Volume XLVII
Issue 5
The Sophie Davis School of Biomedical Education
April 2010
what will they take from us next?
Every Thursday, or any day for that
matter, I jump from club to club to
grab a bite to eat in between studying
(admit it, you do the same). So, when
the American Medical Women’s Association publicized that their “Abortion:
Policy and the Body Politic” meeting
would be accompanied with hot food,
I was happy to participate. However,
food was soon the last thing on my mind
once I had a taste of what the American government's thoughts were regarding women's reproductive health.
I took my seat opposite Liza Fuentes,
the Senior Research Associate of the
National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health (NLIRH). I listened to her
cries against the backward movement
that our country is taking against abortion. It was in January 22, 1973 when
the historic Roe v. Wade decision was
made in the Supreme Court. Roe v.
Wade stipulated that women have the
right to have abortions and set some
restrictions on abortions in the later
months of pregnancy. This decision affirmed the rights of women in the United States. It gave women control over
their own bodies and their choice to
have a future, which is an opportunity
many women lose when they must care
for another human in addition to themselves. Even though it has been many
years since this monumental decision
PAGE 3
healthcare:
a fresh start?
Representatives from the National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health (NLIRH)
was passed, America continues to trip over its own feet.
Only three years after Roe v.
Wade was passed, the Hyde
Amendment was passed.
The Hyde Amendment limited the resources that could
be allocated to fund abor-
PAGE 4
2014 wins
sing! 2010
tions. Ms. Fuentes asserted
that this law unfairly targeted
low-income women because it
prevents Medicare from funding abortions unless the pregnancy threatens the life of the
woman or is a result of rape or
incest. Ms. Fuentes asked, “Well,
what about the woman who suf-
PAGE 5
“we’re all
mad here”
fers emotional distress because of the pregnancy in
the form of postpartum depression, the teen who can
neither provide for herself
nor a new born child, or the
woman who already has a
CONTINUED ON PAGE 3
PAGE 6
respectable sport
or social taboo?
Editor’s Note
Hello All! We hope this semester has been running smoothly for each of you. In this issue we recalled and elaborated on
some of the major events that took place so far this semester, such as, but not limited to SING!, the SAMAR Bone Marrow Drive,
Dean Mcbeth’s missing ‘stache, April Fool’s Day and Zubair’s birthday (4/20..). The goal of Biograph is to notify students of the
happenings of Sophie Davis and to provide a unique and unbiased perspective on the Sophie Davis community.
Special thanks are in order for Zubair Hasan, former editor, and our resident paparazzi, Hector Florimon, for their advice
and support as we worked on the issue. We would also like to extend a warm thank you to rising editors Alicia Alvarez and Maisa
Siddique, without whom this issue may not have even reached you all before May. Thank you to Dean Mcbeth, as well, for his
continual support as we worked on the new issue. And of course, thank you to all those who contributed to this issue of the
Biograph. (Yes, we have so many people to thank.) If you would like to contribute to future issues of the Biograph, ask
an@lsf1nct3r a question, or write an Op/Ed piece, please send your submissions to SophieBiograph@gmail.com. Enjoy the issue!
The Sophie Davis School of Biomedical Education
The City College of New York
138th Street and Convent Avenue
New York, NY 10031
Dr. Dani McBeth
Dean of Student Affairs
Executive Board
Moiuri Siddique, Editor in Chief
Linda Alvarez, Associate Editor
Isha Mehta, Copy Editor
Paul Millard, Managing Editor
Hector Florimon, Photography Editor
Biograph Contributors
Alicia Alvarez, Linda Alvarez, Christopher Bandera, Alibel Jose Bello, John Denesopolis, Arjun Dhayalan, Hector Florimon, Vikas Goswamy,
Zubair Hasan, Isha Mehta, Paul Millard, Rammiya Nallainathan, Joseph Nelson, Arth Patel, Sebastian Rubino, Maisa Siddique, Moiuri Siddique, Chandrika Sridharamurthy, Cassy Thime
*A WORD FROM SDSG*
“As we approach the end of the year, we reflect upon what we
look at as an incredibly wonderful year. From the first ever Honor Code Ceremony, the picnics, all the "Sophie Davis trips," and
the rise (and fall) of the Daily Jolt, we felt that this school year
was filled with so many successes and foundations for improvement in the future. Now that it is election time, vote for whomever you feel will create and build upon the successes that are important to you. We three hope that we've done all we could to be
of service to you all, and thank you for all that you've done for us.”
All the best,
Zubair, Vikas, and Arth
SDSG '09-'10
2
Sophie Davis Biograph
APRIL 2010
*feature*
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
complications and even death.
child and would not be able to
support another?” A woman
by the name of Rosie Jimenez
seemed to know the answer to
that question. Rosie was a lowincome 27 year-old mother
with a 5 year-old daughter. On
October 3, 1977, she went to
Mexico for a back alley abortion because she did not have
the funds to pay for an abortion
in the United States. That same
day Rosie died from complications that arose from the unsafe abortion. Unfortunately,
Rosie's story is not unique for
many women across the country are compelled to make
such unfavorable decisions
that oftentimes, as in Rosie's
case, lead to further health
After the meeting with Ms.
Fuentes, most of us gained a
deeper understanding of women's birthrights and were no
longer able shrug indifferently
when asked about those women who cannot afford abortions.
Allowing individuals, such as
Henry Hyde, to limit the rights
of women in terms of birthrights is unjust. America should
actually attempt to support
the views of all people instead
of one subgroup. Ms Fuentes
believes that the major forms
of legislation against abortion,
such as the Hyde Amendment,
are used to widen the gap between the rich and the poor.
The wealthy, who do not rely
on Medicare, can afford to have
as many abortions as they wish.
The poor, however, do not have
the option to pay for an abortion which can range from
$200 to over $1200. Therefore,
the poor will continue to carry
to term and have unwanted
children, despite the fact that
they can barely support themselves. Ultimately, this perpetuates the cycle of poverty
and inhibits class mobility.
Major legislation against abortion is not used to stop people
from having abortions; it is
used to segregate the rights of
people. It is unfortunate that
these inequalities continue to
exist. To date, Michigan Representative, Bart Stupak (the
SDB
new Hyde) is supporting a
health care reform bill that
allows all insurance companies to charge a separate,
additional fee to women
if they wish to have abortions. For instance, instead
of paying one bill for an insurance plan that provides
funding for abortions, a
woman will have two bills,
one for the insurance plan
and one if she plans to have
future abortions. Ms. Fuentes, a fervent dissident of
this plan rhetorically asked,
as I wondered, “What will
you take from us next?”
by
joseph nelson
class of 2014
*HEALTH/SCIENCE/TECHNOLOGY*
healthcare: a fresh start?
publican parties have been deeply divided in their quest to attain this seemingly
simple goal; their ideological differences have played a large part in their partisanship. According to the Associated Press, “Democrats are struggling to find a way
to advance health care legislation" due the loss of a Senate seat to Republican Scott
Brown of Massachusetts. As a result, the lack of a sixty-vote majority had essentially
crippled the Democrats' one-way road to their version of an effective healthcare bill.
Senate Minority Leader and Kentucky Senator Mtch McConnell. He
is the primary leader against the
President and the Democratic version of health care reform.
MOST individuals would
agree that the health of a nations' people is vital to the
prosperity of the nation itself and as such, healthcare
reform is an especially delicate and pressing issue in the
United States today. In the recent year, the Obama Administration has vowed to revise
the country's health care system in order to ensure quality care for the approximately
45.7 million Americans living
without health insurance,
eighty percent of them native or naturalized citizens.
The Democratic and ReAPRIL 2010
The Obama Administration claims to believe in “comprehensive health reform,”
which includes reducing long-term growth of health care costs for businesses
and government and guaranteeing choice of doctors and health plans for Americans. The administration also wishes to invest in programs for prevention and wellness while improving the quality of care including an end to discrimination by
insurance companies towards individuals with preexisting medical conditions.Generally, the goal is to provide affordable and quality health care for all Americans.
Republicans on the other hand have bought up the issue of cost and have expressed
interest in a bill that would create state health insurance exchanges to allow Americans to compare different private market health insurance policies in various states.
They have also proposed the creation of a non-profit board that would regulate participating insurance companies and penalize companies that "cherry pick" healthy
patients. In this scenario, the board would provide incentives for companies that encourage prevention and wellness and cover patients with preexisting conditions.
Democratic President Barack
Obama. Since coming into office, his
primary domestic agenda has been
to reform the health care system in
the United States
In addition to the divided lines, the misconceptions lurking in the political atmosphere do not help the overall cause. For one, Obama repeatedly stated that those
who like their current healthcare plan would be able to keep it. However, problems may arise if the public option is put in as private companies may be out of the
business. As of the latest plan put forward by President Obama, there is no public option. Some have the notion that this bill will cover everyone who does not have
health insurance. Though the Obama Administration is trying to reduce the numbers as much as possible, it may not be physically or monetarily possible speaking.
Some of the items that are included in the bill according to
lawmakers are more affordable insurance premiums for
families with lower income,
and allowing young adults to
be covered under their parents insurance until 26 years
of age. For now, only time will
tell whether the bill will truly
be a success in terms of providing health care to the millions of uninsured Americans.
Until now, the issue continued to be whether or not Democrats and Republicans would
be able to work together to move forward and reach a final decision on an adequate bill.
Indeed as of March 21, 2010 the House of Representatives voted 219-212 in favor of
the historic health care bill. President Obama signed this bill into law on March 23, 2010
claiming that the bill he signed “will set in motion reforms that generations of Americans
have fought for.” The various provisions in the bill will fully take effect in the year 2014.
by
rammiya nallainathan
and
chandrika
sridharamurthy
class of 2014
Sophie Davis Biograph
images: http://principallypolitical.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/mitch-mcconnell2.jpg; http://www.ustream.tv/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/obama-official-photo.jpeg
3
SDB
*FEATURE*
2014 wins
sing! 2010...DUH.
“Like a cow just tips over by itself!”
SDSG boys.
“Nodding my head like ‘yea’.”
“Everyone has a good time with Helga’.”
Miley Cyrus.
Helga.
second-in-command. The second
years also boasted their musical
talents in some dance numbers
and an energetic performance of
“Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus
(Kathleen Siapno). Overall, the
humor and personality in the second years' play did not disappoint.
Aaja Nachle.
O
n Friday, April 9th, for only $5 a ticket ($7
for guests), the students of Sophie Davis enjoyed a versatile show laced with spoof and verbal comedy. The annual Sophie Davis SING! took
place in the North Academic Center's Aronow
Theater at (approximately) 6PM and as per Sophie SING! tradition, the first, second, and third
years each put on their own play – written, produced, and performed entirely by students.
The first years kicked off the show with a witty performance that enraptured the audience as they
followed a young man (Kirk Aleman) and woman
(Christina Zrake) on their journey around the world
and into each other's hearts. On their mission to
locate a much sought-after jewel, the couple en-
counter African tribes, participate in Latin America's
cultural scene, and evade a possible death sentence
in India. With musical numbers such as “Lucky” by
Jason Mraz and “Que Habria Sido de Mi” by Victor
Manuelle, the first years' performance was a great hit.
From the onset to the very end of the second years'
play, the audience was in stitches. All action was
contained in an airport and as such, the play emphasized the interesting and sometimes outright ridiculous people one may find in an airport. Among
those to pass through “Security” (Reuben Gottlieb)
at the airport were the high-maintenance actors
from the popular reality TV show “The Jersey Shore,”
a flustered and disorganized Jamaican family, pop
star Miley Cyrus, and an unsuspecting man subjected to the wrath of Helga (Joe Nelson), Security's
Role: Financially
indebted to the Mob
Boss (Norhan Mohammed), Kirk goes
around the world
in forty minutes in
search of a valuable
gem.
4
At the end of the night, monetary
awards were given out in the following categories: Best Overall
Play ($300), Best Actor ($50), Best
Actress ($50), Best Dance ($50),
Random Fact: “I
have a great variety
of tea in my cupboard. And a lot of
it.” (Probably to keep
those vocal chords in
tip-top shape!)
Prior
Stage Experience:
Took a
CCNY acting class
for one
semester.
by
maisa siddique
class of 2014
Role: A universal object of
affection, John
juggles the
hearts of four
princesses but
eventually falls
for none other
than Lady Gaga
herself.
Role:
Airport
security
officer.
Prior Stage Experience: None, but he
was a member of his
high school choir.
Kirk Aleman
The third years ended the night
with a unique parody of the 2006
movie “John Tucker Must Die.” In
this play, Pocahontas, Snow White,
Jasmine, and The Frog Princess all
vie for the affections of basketball
star John Nia. The four princesses
recount their respective dates with
John and soon realize that they've
all been victim to John's charming
yet deceptive ways. For the remainder of the play, the girls attempt
revenge while John falls head over
heels for Lady Gaga (Linda Alvarez).
and Best Music ($50). The first
years took home the $300 for
Best Play; Best Actor(s) went
to first years Augustine Gnalian, Ronald Jeganathan, and
Hesham Saleh for their satirical
portrayal of the Sophie Davis
Student Government; second
year Joe Nelson won Best Actress for his role as Helga; the
first years also took Best Dance
for a cultural Indian dance performed by Amy Abraham, Tiffany Abreu, Nur Afsar, Frances Anderson, Himali Gandhi,
Cherease Street, Jisha Thomas,
Catherine Velupillai; lastly, second year Kathleen Siapno won
Best Music for her performance
of Miley Cyrus's “Party in the
USA.” Special thanks to SING!
2010 judges: Robert McDonald, Dani McBeth, Andres Ragnauth, Amy Yu, Zubair Hasan,
Vikas Goswamy, Arth Patel,
Usman Tahir, and Erfan Karim.
Reuben Gottlieb
Random Fact: “When I was younger
I used to collect baseball cards. I
had a big binder with the teams in
alphabetical order.”
Sophie Davis Biograph
Prior Stage
Experience:
None.
Random Fact:
“I pretty much
played myself
[in SING!]. No
acting.
John Nia
APRIL 2010
*opinion/editorial*
SDB
“we’re all mad here”
As a frequent moviegoer I have
always had a knack for critiquing feature films, and the month
of March held such promise. The major releases of the
month were She’s Out of My
League and the most anticipated movie of early 2010, Tim
Burton’s Alice in Wonderland.
Have you ever felt like there was
a person that was way too perfect to ever find you attractive?
Did you ever settle for someone
else because you were told that
you weren’t good enough for that
perfect person? Well, She’s Out
of My League is here to give you
some hope. This raunchy, romantic comedy centering on an average guy named Kirk. Played by
acting new comer Jay Baruchel,
he happens to be lucky enough
to find himself in a relationship
with an unbelievably gorgeous
girl named Molly. Throughout the
Whoever still believes that theater
and punk rock are on opposite sides
of the artistic spectrum are in for a
surprise. Critics have been all over
the new musical burning up the
Broadway stage, American Idiot,
based on rock band Green Day's
Grammy-award winning album. One
of the most anticipated shows of the
season, American Idiot premiered
at the Berkeley Repertoire Theater
back in 2009 but officially opened
on Broadway on April 20th, 2010.
The musical centers on three bored
suburban teenagers – Tunny, Johnny, and Will – who decide to take
a vacation to escape from their increasingly mundane lives. As is conventional of a storyline revolving
around rebellious youth, the show is
brimming with sex, illicit drugs, and
all other things associated with the
young and the restless. American Idiot takes place during the Bush era,
smack in the middle of the “War on
Terrorism” and as such may insert
some political commentary here and
there. Overall, however, the show is
meant to simply embody the time-
APRIL 2010
movie his friends joke around with him
about the ridiculous things that happen
to him on his dates with Molly. There are
some hysterical parts in the movie involving awkward moments when Kirk meets
Molly’s parents and a special “haircut”
that he receives from one of his friends.
The movie teaches us not to let other
people put us down, because in some way
or another we all have something that
makes us perfect in the eyes of our significant other. All-in-all the movie had a funny
storyline, relatable characters, and great
acting. Baruchel is proving himself to be
a great upcoming actor of our generation.
Now for the movie that was highly anticipated by children and adults alike: Alice
in Wonderland. Alice first started off as a
character in Lewis Carroll’s novel, Alice’s
Adventures in Wonderland and then returned in the sequel, Through the Looking
Glass. Alice’s first movie was produced by
none other than the Disney Corporation in
1951. It was completely animated as was
the norm for all Disney movies at the time
and centered mostly on the events of the
first novel by Carroll. This year the great
Tim Burton, director of The Nightmare
Before Christmas and Batman, decided to
display his vision of the Alice’s adventures
this March. Like all Tim Burton movies it
follows a formula: twisted images plus
dark storyline equals Burton cinema. Also
a major factor in all Burton movies is great
acting. The two performers that stick out
the most are Johnny Depp, starring as the
Mad Hatter, and Helena Bonham Carter,
playing the Red Queen. Depp and Carter
are recurring assets in Burton movies because they are phenomenal actors and
Burton has very close relationships with
both of them. Carter is his wife and Depp
is his best friend. After all the hype for this
movie I have to say I was a little disappointed. Burton tried his best to make the movie
more adult by centering more on the dark
story of the Alice sequel Through the Looking Glass but the jokes and acting seemed
more geared toward a juvenile audience.
The redeeming quality of the movie, however, was Johnny Depp’s performance.
less themes of the crises America's misdirected adolescents face on their journey to securing an identity.
The score consists of all thirteen tracks of Green
Day's 2004 album, American Idiot, along with several tracks from their 2009 release, 21st Century
Breakdown. It has been argued that such a genre
may be ill-fitting for a dramatic performance, but
the story-like nature of the lyrics are ideal in that
they provide a sort of narration for the action.
Besides, no one ever said that rock music was
only meant to stream through the ears of headbangers in hole-in-the-wall concerts. Nor that theater only had room for pop numbers and ballads.
Johnny Depp is an absolute madman
in reality, so naturally his role as the
Mad Hatter was very well cast and
he nailed the part. With his comedic
movements and eccentric attitude he
perfectly represented the role. Even
so, the movie was good but not the
thrilling adventure that I expected.
Well that’s my review and I hope
you enjoyed it. I also have some
movie suggestions for every audience. For the people in the mood
for romance, Nicholas Spark’s The
Last Song came out March 31. For
those in the looking for a laugh,
Kick-Ass and Death at a Funeral will
be in theaters April 16. Horror fans
should keep an eye out for Nightmare
on Elm Street on April 30. Last and
most importantly, I urge everyone
to see Ironman 2 on May 7. Thank
you and I’ll see you at the movies.
by
john denesopolis
class of 2014
rockin’ out
on broadway
American Idiot received mixed reviews: The
Washington Post deems the show “ordinary,”
while The New York Times describes it as a “thrillingly raucous and gorgeously wrought Broadway
musical.” And of course there are those hardcore Green Day fans who are frustrated that the
band has “gone soft” (Green Day Daily News).
Whatever the case, American Idiot can certainly be credited for breaking the previously insuperable barrier between the worlds
of theatergoers and die-hard rock fans.
by
maisa siddique
class of 2014
Sophie Davis Biograph
images: http://stellalee92.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/alice-in-wonderland-tim-burton.jpg ;http://theater.nytimes.com/2010/04/21/theater/reviews/21idiot.html
5
SDB
*opinion/editorial*
pole dancing:
respectable sport or
social taboo?
though still on the wild side of fitness.
Nonetheless, athletic pole dancing
is based more on gymnastics rather
than the commonly associated ‘bumping and grinding’. Some say that it
harks back to Chinese acrobats who
would perform a routine along a tall
wooden pole for the emperor, similar to the performances in Cirque
Du Soleil. Even so, it is still an uphill
battle for pole dancers around the
world who want to see their sport in
the Olympics. There is a debate as to
whether it can even be considered a
sport in the first place. The International Olympic Committee states that
for a sport to be part of the Olympic
program it must first “be governed
by an International Federation recognized by the International Olympic
Committee.” There is an International
Pole Dancing Fitness Association, but
there is some discrepancy whether
it follows the Olympic Charter and
World Anti-Doping Code which are the
two basic requirements for a sport to
be included in the Olympic Program.
When the words “pole” and
“dancing” are thrown around in
the same sentence, the conversation is usually limited to wild
bachelor parties, adventurous
nights out on the town, or maybe an out of the ordinary exercise class. But rarely does this
exchange include the Olympic Games. That is, until KT
Coates, a high-flying pole dancer in England and founder of
the Vertical Dance Pole Fitness
School, started pushing for pole
dancing to become an Olympic
sport. Even though Coates only
launched her petition several
months ago it already has over
forty five hundred signatures.
She hopes that this petition
will prove to the International
Olympic Committee that pole
dancing is not only an international sport but also “a physically demanding form of gymnastics, dance and fitness.” If
all goes according to plan there
6
will be a test run in London in
2012 and eventually a more
formal initiation in 2016.
Even though a variety of
pole dancing classes are
available for an aerobic
workout, many still find it
reproachable and taboo.
This is probably because
the pole dancing that most
people are familiar with became popular in the 1920s,
when women, dubbed Hoochi Coochi dancers, would
perform at small side show
tents in traveling fairs. It
was not until the 1980s that
pole dancing began to transition from a poor woman’s
employment to an every
day woman’s exercise. Today there are a number of
pole dance workout videos as well as classes and
home exercise poles that
are widely available, al-
Needless to say, Sophie Davis students
provided an interesting mixture of reactions that ranged from sheer laughter to spirited advocacy. Of course
there were a number of responses
like first year Kimberly Bernard's who
said she would “watch [the Olympics]
more often.” Not surprisingly, most
females agreed that pole dancing was
more than just a sport. First year Himali Ghandi says that pole dancing is
“like an art form” and first year Amy
Kuruvilla agrees by explaining that
“it’s more than something just sexual,
[pole dancing] requires strength both
emotionally and physically.” Even first
year Ronald Jeganathan concurs saying that “it looks like a legitimate sport,
like acrobatics…except with a pole.”
Even so, there were a number of dissidents in the crowd. First year Ian Hoffman, a self-proclaimed avid Olympics
watcher, asserts that including pole
dancing in the Olympics would be “degrading to what the Olympics are and
represent”, although he does admit
that it is a “very athletic” activity. Unfortunately for professional pole dancers there is something more powerful
than a strong social stigma that might
Sophie Davis Biograph
prevent them from performing in the Olympics. There might actually be valid reasons to
postpone pole dancing’s induction into the
Olympic Program. For one, there are a number of sports such as squash and women’s
softball which are presently not included in
the Olympics. Even so, first year Cherease
Street says that “if golf is considered a sport,
[she] would not be surprised” if pole dancing
makes it to the Olympics.” Cherease makes
a great point by questioning the validity of
some Olympic sports. For example, table
tennis is not only part of the Olympic program, it is considered one of the core sports
required to be part of the Summer Olympics. Adam Margalit brings up an interesting
point by saying that “[pole dancing] would
be hard to judge.” Cherease counters by
saying that it could be judged like any other
dance: “by presentation and technique.”
Second year Amy Cilento alludes to the power and reverence of sportsmanship by saying
she would not mind it if pole dancing being
part of the Olympics if it was done tastefully
and appropriately. However, as an athlete
she feels that it is not fair to call it a sport.
The biggest complication in the International Olympic Committee's upcoming decision
will be in trying to separate the social stigma
from the true facts. Pole dancers are dancers, but how international and appropriate
of an activity is it? First year Brian Dinerman
explains that the Olympics are more than just
international championships in saying that
“kids look up to athletes like short track star
Apolo Ohno. Are they going to look up to pole
dancers now, too?” However, first year Justin Salih suggests that it can be broadcasted
late night. There actually are some Olympic
sports, like fencing, that are not televised.
As in any argument, once the surface is
scratched, things only get more complicated.
Nonetheless, KT Coates’s petition is a testament to how society and fitness have advanced. Pole dancing offers a way for men
and women to appreciate their bodies and be
comfortable in their own skin while becoming more fit. Whether you are like first year
Mohammad Sadat asking where to sign, or
first year Navid Ahmed debating the validity of pole dancing athleticism, hopefully the
energy and dedication that professional pole
dancers invest can soon be accepted and respected as are other dancers and athletes.
by
alicia alvarez
class of 2014
APRIL 2010
image: http://msp124.photobucket.com/albums/p15/heatherfrasch/December/pole_dance.jpg
*feature*
SDB
deeper than the marrow
As part of the budding brand of physicians
that Sophie Davis produces — whether it’s in
primary care or specialized care — it is important to know what bone marrow is and understand its purpose. Bone marrow is the soft
fatty tissue that is found inside of the body’s
bones. Generally, bone marrow supports undifferentiated cells that are used in the body,
also called stem cells. Usually the bone marrow creates and releases cells such as erythrocytes, leukocytes or thrombocytes (platelets) into the bloodstream. There are many
disorders which affect bone marrow which
include, but are not limited to, Leukemia,
Aplastic anemia and Myeloproliferative disorders. While there is effective treatment for
many bone marrow diseases, some conditions
are so severe that bone marrow transplant is
necessary. Donors are often found in blood
relatives, but because of some limiting biological factors, many hospitals and clinics turn to
bone marrow registries for donor matches.
free food for registering). It was
around January of 2010 when he was
called by a physician to be a potential match for a patient. Even though
the doctor already had a sample of
Eduardo’s DNA, an interview and a
blood test were still needed to determine his eligibility. Excited about
the prospect of being an eligible donor, Eduardo made an appointment
without delay. It is not unusual to
have second thoughts about undergoing such a procedure, but Eduardo
says, “I knew I wanted to do it as
soon they asked me; however, you
do have all that time until the day of
the surgery to say no. The people in
charge asked me many, many times
if I wanted to continue, but I never
had any big doubts about doing this
little thing that could potentially become a huge help for someone.”
The Biograph has been a long time supporter
and contributor to Samar’s Bone Marrow Registry and hosts the annual Bone Marrow Drive*
in the NAC Rotunda, sponsored by Samar. The
event is targeted to the CCNY community as a
whole and supplies valuable information about
donating bone marrow with the purpose of
signing people up to become bone marrow
donors. One of the students who registered
through the event has recently donated bone
marrow. Fifth year Eduardo Morales had registered with Samar’s Bone Marrow Registry in
his first year at Sophie Davis. The registration
process involved a brochure, a cotton swab,
and a card for contact information (along with
As with any other medical procedure,
there is always a small chance of risk
and some price to pay. Obtaining
bone marrow is a quick procedure,
but there is the side effect of pain
post-surgery. When asked about the
procedure, Eduardo explained, “You
are sleeping during the procedure
so there is no pain at all. After surgery you are supposed to feel sore
in that area for a few days. I didn't.
Also, they say it may take a couple
of weeks for you to perform physical
tasks normally, but I played a rugby
game the next week and I felt fine.”
Pain is always a deterrent from
taking action, but what counts
the most is the reward - the satisfaction in knowing that you
may have saved another person’s life. Eduardo is not alone
as a Sophie Davis student who
donated bone marrow. Fourth
year Daniel Nekola also donated
bone marrow and he, too, was
satisfied with the outcome. It is
often the simplest act, such as
saving a stranger's life by writing
your name on a card, that can
have the most profound effect
by
paul millard
class of 2013
Eduardo Alejandro Morales.
*STUDENT CONNECTIONS*
Haitian Story
Earth shaking
Cement falling
My movements aren’t my own
Close my eyes
Hope it stops
But this chaos carries on
Open my eyes
And there she lies
On the floor open-eyed
6 digits on your screen
Of the hearts that stopped that day
But many more fell to their knees
To mourn the lives that were taken away
Me, my wife, and child
Walked many miles
On our feet
As we pass the dead on the street
Bowed our heads and said many prayers
Until we couldn’t say no more
APRIL 2010
Where would we go
I don’t know
But here isn’t safe anymore
As a man, must protect my family
Standing refugees in our own country
No place to call home
Our house has fallen
With our possessions taken
But still we'll carry on
Now black with darkness
But a day full of gray
Way before the sun went away
With the dead on the right
And the living on the left
On boxes, we sleep
The rich, the poor
Never more
Cause today’s the day we meet
Morning came
and we hustled on
hungry men, we stand
on line reaching out our hand
yesterday we were on our way
Sophie Davis Biograph
but today we seem to just pray
illusion, ‘cause we're stuck on our knees
since we’ve been hit too deep
son can’t see me cry
well the dead can’t feel me now
cant see me down
on my knees
hopefully God... can hear me now
Gotta remove crown
must shed a tear
for you to feel my pain
and put rice in my hand
so I can feed my child
and I could live my life
and be the man... I was meant to be
So I bend one knee
to stand on my feet
now I yell out... to the world
hopefully YOU... can hear me now!!
by
cassy thime
7
*clubs/activities*
SDB
In early March this year, The
Word hit the CCNY scene with
its very first publication. As
many of you are aware, there
are several different newspaper on campus but what
sets this newspaper apart is
its heavy focus on editorial
and opinion-based articles on
hot topics, such as healthcare
reform, political initiatives,
etc. Thus far, the newspaper
has received a tremendous
amount of positive feedback
and hopes to become a regular literary tradition of CCNY.
The newspaper was spearheaded by three third year Sophie Davis students: Mohammed Ali Yazdani, Dersim Kaya
and Dmitry Gekhman. When
asked about their beginnings,
they stated it was all Mohammed’s idea, who felt very passionate about current issues
but didn’t think there was a
proper outlet for this at CCNY.
The publication never intended to compete with already existing newspapers on campus
because they felt their point of
view and message was so different when compared to others.
The triad of leaders reached
out for support and expanded their core to eight people,
while applying as a club for the
Fall 2009 semester under the guidance of Professor Andrea Weiss of
the Media department. Throughout that semester, the core group
of members worked very hard to
make a memorable first issue with
edgy articles, humorous illustrations and political satire all while
generating proper funds to establish themselves within the college.
The newspaper also features a
running series of articles by Sophie Davis student, Camilo Doig,
who documents his travels in Chile.
All of their efforts proved successful
as the publication received a plethora of praise and positive feedback.
This meant a lot to the new arrivals, especially from various other
publications on the CCNY campus
and leading City College professors. From this, The Word was able
to establish a relation with Professor Ian Howe, who will feature his
students’ responses on strategies
for nonprofit organizations in an
upcoming issue. Additionally, the
publication received many emails
from students who were interested in joining and interested in
giving their feedback on articles.
This prompted the newspaper to
create a website (www.ccnyword.
com) that will feature articles from
the newspaper along with other
additional ones and a collection
of interesting video posts. This is
sp(read)ing
the word
a vital part of The Word and what it stands for because it gives a platform
for readers to voice their comments or own opinions about their articles.
The idea began with a small group of very dedicated individuals who insist that
failure of their publication is not an option. Although many of them are busy with
their course load at Sophie Davis, they always make the time to respond to emails
and show how much they truly appreciate readers’ opinions. The Word has a
great deal to look forward to with their second publication hitting CCNY paper
stands around late April and their fan base continuing to grow from the website.
by
isha mehta
class of 2012
my dream man
ADJECTIVE [1]
_______________________
ADJECTIVE [2]
_______________________
DEAN [3]
_______________________
HMS PROFESSOR [4] ________________
ANIMAL [5]
_______________________
VERB [6]
_______________________
NOUN [7]
_______________________
NOUN [8]
______________________
PART OF BODY [9] _______________________
ADVERB [10]
_______________________
ADJECTIVE [11]
______________________
ADVERB [12]
_______________________
ADJECTIVE [13]
______________________
ADJECTIVE [14]
__________________
PART OF BODY [15]
_____________________
ADJECTIVE [16]
_____________________
NOUN [17]
_____________________
NOUN [18]
___________________
BRIAN BASSIRI [19] _________________
8
My "Dream Man" should, first of all be very
He should have a physique like
and the intelligence of a/an
always remember to
[3]
[5]
[6]
[1]
and
[2]
, a profile like
[4]
,
. He must be polite and must
my
[7]
, to tip his
and to take my
[9]
move
[10]
, have a/an
dress
[12]
. I would also like him to be a/an
[8]
when crossing the street. He should
[11]
and when we are alone he should whisper
[16]
voice, and should always
[13]
[14]
dancer,
nothings into
my
[15]
and hold my
an
[18]
is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is
Sophie Davis Biograph
.
[17]
. I know a/
[19]
APRIL 2010
PAGE 3
Being a guido: the biggest thing to hit the
Northeast since Rosie O’Donnell joined
The View. The first time there has been
such high demand for fitted jeans and
even tighter shirts since the 1980's. Yes,
the guidos are a proud group of people
whose sole life function is to eventually move out of their parents’ home
and finally finish paying the lease to that
Mercedes-Benz they still can’t afford.
Guidoism is not simply a trend, it is a way
of life. The partying, the drinking, the fist
pumps, mean nothing without the proper
preparations. Therefore, in order to even
contemplate taking up this new lifestyle,
there are a few pre-requisites that must
be fulfilled. You must first live by the
GTL mantra: gym, tanning, and laundry.
The only way to execute GTL is via time
management. Every day, you have to
have the desire, the will, no, the tenacity, to choose what you are going to
wear that night to the party, and make
sure to take it to the dry cleaners beforehand. Laundry can be done either
before or after spending at least two to
three efficient hours in the gym. Now
that your outfit is set and your muscles
are jacked to capacity, the only thing
missing is a bronze layer of skin, provided by the local tanning booth. By
performing GTL, you have begun taking
the first steps to official guido-status.
After GTL becomes second nature, the
rest of guido lifestyle will need more
dedication and focus than merely time
management. When guidos go out,
they often, if not always, feel obligated
to be the center of attention. So, they
take GTL to the next level. This is where
hairstyle becomes essential. Guidos have
blowouts and poofs because they command attention. They say, “Hey, I’m going
to make this party last at least 2 times longer than it took me to do my hair.” And,
boy, it takes them a while to get that poof
just right. The hair by itself can instill a
guido with enough undeserved pride to
get him from one rejection to the next
that night. Between these rejections, guidos are faced with the task of fist pumping to music. But why fist pumping, you
ask? According to fist pumping expert
DJ Pauly D, “we’re beatin’-up-the-beat,
that’s what we say when we’re doing
our fist pump. First, we start off by banging the ground, we’re banging it as the
beat builds ‘cause that beat’s hittin’ us
so we’re fightin’ back, it’s like we beat up
that beat.” Thanks for clarifying that, Pauly D.
When guidos party, the reason everybody
looks is not because they came in a luxury car,
or because they admire their stunning looks
and dance skills. No, it is because of the great
sacrifices guidos make everyday. People realize that guidos are America’s superheroes;
they’re helping the economy, too. Through
their very generous spending on hair products
(specifically gel), gym memberships, and tanning sessions, guidos have eased the load of
the recession on the whole nation. President
Obama is expected to be in the Jersey Shore
this weekend to deliver a special dedication
to all guidos who have helped alleviate the
toll of this recession. So next time you go out,
give that guido a pat on the back, thanks bro.
by Alibel Jose Bello
The Sophie Davis Bachelor 2010
Nestor
Get To Know The
Sophie Davis Bachelor 2010
Sex: Male
Birthday: January 25, 1988
Siblings: Andres Maldonado
(Watch out Class 2015)
Interested In: Women
Religious Views: Christian - Seventh-Day Adventist
Activities: Eat. Sleep. Sophie Davis. Eating and Sleeping Optional.
Interests: Anything that is not related to medicine
Favorite Quotations:
"If you turn your back on me, I'll
just love you from behind."
"I think I need a map, because I
get lost in your eyes."
"Baby, your legs must be tired
because you've been running in
my mind all day"
"The back of your head is ridiculous. Can I get your number?”
Maldonado.
Here at the Sophie Davis Biograph,
like many of you, we read the name
and automatically think, “Sophie
Davis’ Most Eligible Bachelor”.
Though we became smitten with
his Mexicano charm, we found out
through our in depth interview, that
Nestor Maldonado is in fact, not
Mexican. When we asked him what
is one thing no one at Sophie knows
about him our bachelor responded
“...that I really am NOT Mexican.”
Maldonado is just a non-Mexican
man looking for love, “I look for a
girl who is happy, funny, and witty,
someone who I can playfully argue
with about anything. I especially like
it when a girl can see the light at the
end of the road, a girl who can basically make lemons into lemonade out
of any situation presented to her. Its
a plus if this girl really listens to the
same type of music I do and can sing,
that usually seals the deal with me.”
So ladies, if you like to argue about
pointless things, which we all know
you do, Nestor is the Señor for you.
can be while walking around some weird
part of NYC or chilling at someone's place,
while watching a movie.” So essentially
your date will be going to Gray’s Papya
for a corn dog and then walking down a
weird alley in Harlem. If that didn’t get
you then his realness and genuine personality will. Nestor states that he never uses
pick up lines for lucky ladies, “I never use
pick up lines, I just act like myself, which
is pretty corny at times.”Aw how sweet!
If you are intrigued by our most eligible bachelor, just imagine the plans this
dreamy hunk will have for you on your
ideal date, “My idea of a good time
is just eating some random junk food
while getting to know each other. This
So ladies, if you’re looking for a genuine non-Mexican guy to eat
burritos with, holla at Sophie Davis’ Most
Eligible Bachelor, Nestor Maldonado
Dear an@Lsf1nct3r,
I am having trouble concentrating in school. Every time
I try to study, I find myself
so completely distracted. I
don't know if it's the students around me that are making me so stressed, or is it
that I just am not cut out for
medical school. Any ideas as
to what I should do?
sincerely,
suckfophie
!
s
I
It
e
ik
L
t
I
’
n
i
l
l
Te
by Linda “Gaga” Alvarez
Dear suckfophie,
FIrst off, maybe you jus be so distracted cuz you don't know gramma(r).
Like really, you be e-mailin me askin' me fo advivc and shiz and you ain't
got the common courtesy to use proppa English. Now, onto yooo problem, I be gettin myself distracted too. One MAYJOR problem is when
people be coming in late to class. And yo when I say late, I
don't mean like 5 minutes, I be meaning like a half an hour. Whatcho
be doing that you ain't got time fo claas. These also be the same people
who be answering dey fone when you be talkin right to them
in a meeting yo!Why you be acting like God's gift to the world fool??
Also peoples has gots to understandz that you do not need to be repeating everything the professa sayz right after he said it. You also be that same
person who be yeling out wrong answers. Read the lecture first DUH! You
be gettin me confused. Also peoples have gots to stop laying out in class.
Ther be no reason fo yo feet to be over by designer bag when I be seatin
in the row in front of you. You ain't at the beach, SIT UP. Oh and one mo
thing, CLASS IS CLASS. It ain't yo lunch period. I don't be needing to strain my
beautiful ears cuz I cant hear the professor over your cow like chewin habits.
So Suckfophie everyone in class be distracting. Let this make you
mo aware that maybe you be distracting someone else in class.
And if you be too distracted, maybe this ain't the place for you.
Tellin' it like it is,
an@Lsf1nct3r
To 'Stache, or
not to 'Stache?
(Yes, we’ve printed this before. But we can do whatever we want.)
Young females have elaborate
and expensive sweet sixteens to
celebrate the ceremonial passage
into womanhood. Males, on the
other hand, have no comparable
festivity. Unless, of course, you
have a bar mitzvah – but, face it,
not all of us are among the Chosen few. Instead, we are forced to
celebrate our transition into manhood in a rather subtle manner.
Once we know we are capable
of doing so, we grow facial hair.
We, too, have allowed our smooth
checks to progress from a five
o'clock shadow, to poor excuses
for beards. People have commented, "Shave, you dirty men!"
Routinely, we brush off these
comments with our miniature
beard combs and go on with our
days. However, Dean McBeth
commented that he did not like
our patchwork, and offered his
own experiences as consola-
tion. He confessed that when he was
younger, he grew a moustache to look
older so he would not get carded. He
described this moustache as "horrible."
Naturally, we wondered what our beloved dean must have looked like
with his face all 'moustached' up. We
thought those days were in the past,
locked away in some vault with ageold Disney movies. While watching
the Fifth-Year Blowout, however, one
image in the faculty slide show caught
our eyes and tickled our souls – that of
our very our Dean McBeth, circa 1987,
complete with a soft, seemingly fluffy
'stache. It left us wondering: "Where
is the Dean McBeth of yesteryear?"
We, the people, in order to create the
perfect alpha-male dean, wish to publicly call for the return of the conspicuous hair above Dean McBeth's upper
lip. We feel that this request – no, demand – is in the best interest of Dean
McBeth. Before dismissing this idea as
ludicrous – or as we prefer to say, SebaChris – hear the reasons for our petition.
Firstly, according to Tim Gunn, retro
is in. If it worked then, it can still work
now. More importantly, this style would
have a life-altering impact on his daily
routine. Now he eats breakfast with Dr.
Viera Lima, but with a mustache, he
could be gazing into the eyes of Adriana Lima while sipping his cup-o-Joe.
Furthermore, this will bring about his
rarely seen alter-ego, Deane McNasty.
Without the moustache, Dean McBeth
resembles the mild-mannered, lovable Danny Tanner of "Full House"
fame. However, with the mustache, he
can reach his full potential as a hardhitting, door-busting enforcer of medical ethics, a la Dog the Bounty Hunter.
Finally, this appearance of facial hair
would improve his standing among
the other full-bearded deans. Dean
Kaeler and newly appointed Dean
Kollisch currently sport beards that
would intimidate even the furriest of
animals. Now, they use their beards
as a method of oppressing the babyfaced Dean McBeth of convention.
Unified in their limited use of razors,
they would form an insurmountable,
indestructible force to be reckoned
with – an Axis of Hirsutism (look it
up, it may be on the USMLE Step I).
Facial hair comes in many shapes and
sizes, but one entity has never ceased
to please the masses – the moustache.
Now, let us urge Dean Dani McBeth to
join the likes of Charlie Chaplin, Tom
Selleck, Keith Hernandez, and Khosrow Kashfi in eternal 'stache glory.
by Christopher Bandera
and Sebastian Rubino
It’s like I have ESPN or something!
DECEMBER 22 - JANUARY 19
[[ Not even Angelina Jolie can resist you. She is only going to adopt
you if you are contributing to the
household, so keep the welfare. ]]
NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 21
[[ Your mother has a secret. Go
ask her. (Hint: She was on ‘Maury’
twice). ]]
JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18
[[ Honey you are FIERCE. So fierce
OCTOBER 23 - NOVEMBER 21
[[ I see that you will make it to HMS 3
you might as well try out for America’s Next Top Model or... the Tyra
Show. ]]
in the future… twice. ]]
FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20
[[ On a scale of one to ten, you’re
SEPTEMBER 23 - OCTOBER 22
[[ Invest in high-waisted skirts and
a negative integer. Yes an INTEGER! I know you’re in Sophie Davis
and don’t need to take real math
classes but at least pretend like you
know what an integer is! ]]
waist cinching belts because you’re
not gonna loose those extra pounds
before summer if you keep eating
CHINESE FOOD. ]]
MARCH 21 - APRIL 19
[[You need to go on a reality
AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 22
[[ Mirror, mirror on the wall,
show, at least then you will get
fame for embarrassing yourself
everyday.]]
you’re the ugliest of them all. Not
too big, not too tall, but further
from skinny, and further from
small. ]]
APRIL 20 - MAY 20
[[If cameras could talk, they would
surely say that you are not photogenic. You don’t want to hear what
the seats have to say about you
when you turn your behind to them.
SMH]]
JULY 23 - AUGUST 22
[[ You are having great success in ac-
MAY 21 - JUNE 20
[[There is a light at the
end of every tunnel…
hope it’s not a train.]]
JUNE 21 - JULY 22
[[Your outfit: FAIL ]]
complishing your goals, if your goal was
to fail. People are naturally drawn to
you… in the same way we are drawn to
trashcans. ]]
by Joseph Nelson