Child Development Guide - Center for Development of Human

Transcription

Center for Development of Human Services
Research Foundation of SUNY, Buffalo State College
Robert N. Spaner
Chief Administrative Officer
New York State Child Welfare/Child
Protective Services Training Institute
Funding provided by:
New York State Office of Children & Family Services
Bureau of Training
Division of Development and Prevention Services
Meg Brin
Administrative Director, Child Welfare
Director, Independent Living/Residential
Care Training Program
Jere C. Wrightsman
Director, Foster/Adoptive Parent Training
Project
1695 Elmwood Avenue
Buffalo, New York 14207-2407
Tel.: 716.876.7600 Fax.: 716.796.2201
http://www.bsc-cdhs.org
e-mail: webmaster@bsc-cdhs.org
Copyright ©2002 by Research Foundation of SUNY/CDHS.
All rights reserved. Permission to reproduce portions of this
publication may be granted to assigned individuals and/or
agencies with prior written permission. Printed in the United
States of America.
For permission to use and/or adapt copyrighted material,
grateful acknowledgment is made to the copyright
holders mentioned in this publication, which are hereby made
part of this copyright page.
Contents
Preface . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . iii
Part I: Child Development . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Birth to Six Months . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Six Months to One Year . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
One to Two Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
Two to Three Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Three to Four Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Four to Five Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
Five to Six Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
Six to Seven Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Seven to Eight Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
33
Eight to Nine Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
Nine to Ten Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
Ten to Eleven Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
Eleven to Twelve Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Twelve to Fifteen Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
Fifteen to Nineteen Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57
Contents (cont.)
Part II: The Development of Language and Conceptual Abilities
in Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
0-2 Months . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63
3-6 Months . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64
6-9 Months . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
9-12 Months . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66
13-18 Months . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
18-24 Months . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68
2-3 Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70
3-5 Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
6-8 Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
8-10 Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
10-12 Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
12-15 Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
15-18 Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
Preface
When the Child Development Guide was first introduced over twenty years ago, it was originally
intended to be a resource guide that child welfare caseworkers could use in their work, but its
use soon spread to include a wider audience of interested parents, foster parents, and other
caregivers and service providers.
This guide is divided into two separate parts: Part I, Child Development, provides an overview
of how children develop, including the tasks they must accomplish and indicators of possible
developmental problems or lags.
Part II, The Development of Language and Conceptual Abilities in Children, is presented in
chart form. It describes (again by age group) what things the “normal” child might be expected
to say or do at that age or stage and what the “normal” child can be expected to know and
how the child thinks and interacts with the world, along with suggestions for caseworker and
caregiver responses. Along with the previous information, appropriate cautions are also listed
for each age group, as well as behaviors that may signal possible developmental problems in
a child.
This guide is intended to be useful and beneficial for all caseworkers and caregivers as they
strive to understand and support the development of children. We hope that it will continue to
be a valuable resource for yet another generation of children and youth.
iii
Part I: Child Development
Introduction
Assessment of Child Development
When using Part I to assess child development and respond to an individual child's needs,
caseworkers and caregivers need to consider the developmental tasks associated with each
stage of development. They must also be alert to certain behaviors (or lack of certain
behaviors) in order to determine whether a child is progressing in a way that would be
considered “typical” or “normal” for a particular age or stage, or whether some factor that may
signal some developmental problem(s) exists. (An example of the latter would be a child whose
development lags because of fetal alcohol syndrome associated with parental substance abuse.)
The Five Areas of Development
Arranged according to age group, the various subsections provide an overview of common
behaviors that can be expected of children and youth whose developmental progress would
be considered “normal” for each of the age groups. These behaviors are further divided into
five separate domains, or areas of development: physical, emotional, social, mental, and moral.
Each area of development includes brief descriptions of common behaviors associated with that
area of development, along with suggested caregiver responses that can be used to encourage
growth (and, in some cases, monitor typical but sometimes difficult behaviors).
When referring to the first two subsections of this part of the guide (Birth to Six Months and
Six Months to One Year), users will notice that the fifth area of development (moral) is not
included for children who are younger than one year because they are not able to distinguish
between right and wrong until they progress beyond infancy.
Variations in Child Development
The tasks and indicators listed for each age group may be more observable at certain times
and/or in certain individual children. It is important to appreciate that inevitably there will be
overlap among the ages and stages described here.
The information in this guide was adapted with from Adoption of Children with Special Needs
(Allen 1978).
©2002 SUNY Research Foundation/CDHS
1
The Child Development Guide
Birth to Six Months
Developmental Tasks
Learning to trust others and be secure in
the world
Learning (at an unconscious level) how
to get personal needs met
Indicators Related to Developmental Lag
Feeding problems: rejection of breast or bottle; excessive vomiting, colic, or diarrhea that
results in weight loss
Developmental regression: depression; unresponsiveness; failure to smile, show pleasure,
or cuddle; rejection of others' efforts to provide comfort
Inability to see or hear
Extreme lack of sensory stimulation (touching, seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling) by
caregivers, resulting in failure to thrive and possibly death (with deprivation tied directly
to the quality of care)
Normal Characteristics
Suggested Behaviors
for Effective Parenting
Develops own rhythm in feeding,
sleeping, and eliminating
Adapt schedule to baby's rhythms as much
as possible.
Grows rapidly; doubles birth weight
at six months
Supply adequate food.
Gains early control of eye movement
Supply visual stimuli such as mobiles and
bright colors.
Develops motor control in orderly
sequence: balances head, rolls over,
pulls self to sitting position, and
briefly sits up alone
Exercise baby's arms and legs during bathing
and changing.
Begins to grasp objects
Let baby grasp your finger as you pull him/her.
3
Birth to Six Months
Suggested Behaviors
Shows excitement through waving
arms, kicking, and wiggling; shows
pleasure in anticipation of being
fed or picked up
Hold child's arms and legs and help the child
move; smile back to acknowledge the child's
anticipation.
Cries in different ways when cold,
wet, or hungry
Learn to “read” the different cries; respond
to crying consistently, and don't be afraid of
“spoiling” the infant. (Crying is the only way
an infant has to express needs.)
Fears loud or unexpected noises and
sudden movements; strange objects,
situations, or persons; and pain
Respond to the child's fears by talking in a
calm manner and by picking up and cuddling
the child.
Discriminates primary caregiver
(usually mother) from others and
is more responsive to that person
Do not change primary caregiver before six
months.
Imitates movements, gazes at faces,
and smiles to be friendly
Play pat-a-cake and peek-a-boo with baby.
Likes to be played with, tickled,
and jostled
Bounce the child on your knees.
Smiles at self in mirror
Provide a mirror for gazing.
Learns through senses (sounds of
rattles, feelings of warmth, etc.)
Provide objects to see, hear, and grasp.
Coos and vocalizes spontaneously;
babbles in nonsense syllables
Talk and sing to the child a great deal, repeating
many words (not just sounds).
4
Six Months to One Year
Developmental Tasks
Learning to trust others and be secure
in the world
Improving muscle coordination and
becoming mobile
Acquiring increased control of head,
hands, fingers, legs, etc., as the
nervous system continues to develop
Learning spatial concepts (up, down,
near, far) and how to manipulate and
move in the surrounding environment
Learning to adjust to short periods of separation from the primary caregiver
Passivity; withdrawal; lack of initiative; lack of response to stimulating people, toys,
and pets
Crying frequently and easily
Learning slowly
(Note: Such problems are often interrelated: the passive child is less likely to develop
the skills needed to explore the world, such as climbing and crawling, and the resulting
limited experience may manifest itself in slow learning and inability to take risks.)
5
Suggested Behaviors
From 8 months, begins to crawl;
from 9 months, may begin to walk
Provide experiences that involve arm and leg
exercise, but be sure dangerous objects are out
of reach.
Learns to let go of objects with hands
Playing at “dropping things” helps the child
learn about the physical world, so be patient
about picking things up and enjoy the game.
Puts everything into his/her mouth
Provide child with opportunity to use hands
and fingers (finger foods, water play, toys, etc.).
Begins teething
Be especially patient with child's crankiness;
provide things on which to chew.
Is physically unable to control bowels
Do not attempt to potty train at this time.
Needs to feel sure that someone will
always take care of him/her
Consistently meet the child's needs related
to hunger, cleanliness, warmth, sensory
stimulation, being held, and interacting with
an adult (and don't listen to those who claim
you will “spoil” him/her by doing so).
Becomes unhappy when mother or
primary caregiver leaves
Expect fussiness during mother or primary
caregiver's absence; provide comfort.
Draws away from strangers
Proceed slowly in introducing the child to
strangers.
Needs to be held and cuddled with
warmth and love
Generously provide physical comforts. (No
baby was ever “spoiled” by too much physical
contact. If you don't agree, watch puppies or
kittens nestle near their mothers; they quickly
become independent in caring for themselves.)
6
Suggested Behaviors
Finds mother (or primary caregiver)
extremely important
Provide consistent care by one person.
“Talks” to others, using babbling
sounds
Talk to the child (using simple words), and both
verbally and nonverbally acknowledge and
respond to the child's efforts at communication.
Starts to imitate behaviors of others
Model the behaviors you want the child to copy.
Eating becomes a major source
of interaction with the world
Provide a diet varied in color and texture.
Does not “play nicely” with other
infants, but will instead poke, pull,
and push
Don't expect the child to play well with others,
because other children merely appear as
objects or toys and not as equal human beings.
Learns through the physical senses,
especially by way of the mouth
Provide toys and games that involve and
stimulate all five senses.
Likes to put things in and take things
out of mouth, cupboards, boxes, etc.
Keep toys with loose parts and other small
objects away from the child.
Likes to repeat the same behaviors,
but also likes to see new things
Repeat words and favorite activities and begin
to introduce the child to new activities (grocery
shopping, trips to the park, etc.).
Likes to hear objects named and
begins to understand familiar
words (“eat,” “ma-ma,” “bye-bye,”
“doggie”)
Say the names of objects as the child sees or
uses them, and begin to look at very simple
picture books with the child.
May not speak until age one or later
Don't be overly concerned when a child doesn't
talk quite as soon as others.
7
One to Two Years
Developmental Tasks
Discovering and establishing a distinct sense of
self through continuous exploration of the world
Developing communication skills and
experiencing the responsiveness of others
Learning to use memory and acquiring the
basics of self-control
Overly withdrawn, passive, and/or fearful
Obsessive head banging, finger sucking, and/or rocking
Lack of interest in objects, environment, or play
Excessive temper tantrums: hitting, biting, and hyperventilating and/or constipation or
smearing of feces (stool) as an expression of anger
Suggested Behaviors
Begins to walk, creep up and down
stairs, climb on furniture, etc.
Provide large, safe spaces for exercising arms
and legs, and teach the child how to get down
from furniture, stairs, etc.
Enjoys pushing and pulling things
Provide push-and-pull toys, which aid the
child in learning to balance self and objects.
Is able to stack two or three blocks,
likes to take things apart, and likes
to put things in and take things out
of cupboards, mouth, boxes, etc.
Provide toys or games that can be stacked,
taken apart, nested or put into each other,
squeezed, pulled, etc., and which are clean
and not sharp or small enough to swallow.
Takes off pull-on clothing
Allow the child to try to dress and undress
him/herself.
continued
9
One to Two Years
Suggested Behaviors
Begins to feed self with a spoon and
can hold a cup
Allow the child to feed him/herself food that
can be easily eaten (wearing a bib and with a
cloth under the high chair, which should have
a stable footing).
Is still unable to control bowels
Do not try to potty-train yet.
Needs the warmth, security, and
attentions of a special adult
A special, caring adult should regularly look
after the child.
Is learning to trust and needs to
know that someone will provide
care and meet needs
Respond to the needs of the child consistently
and with sensitivity.
Sucks thumb, a behavior that peaks
at around 18 months
Ignore thumb sucking, as drawing attention to
it may encourage the behavior.
May have many temper tantrums
Do not be rigid and demand compliance all
the time; do not give in to the child's demands,
but do not discipline, as the child is expressing
him/herself the only way he/she knows how.
Is generally in a happy mood
Enjoy the child's behavior and keep up the
good work!
May become angry when others
interfere with certain activities
Accept the child's reaction as normal and
healthy, and not as a threat to your authority;
if necessary, modify the environment to reduce
the need to interfere in the child's activities.
May become frustrated because of
an inability to put wishes into words
Be patient in trying to interpret/understand the
child's wishes
10
One to Two Years
Suggested Behaviors
Enjoys interaction with familiar adults
Include the child in activities (as appropriate).
Copies adult behaviors
Be sure to be a good role model!
Begins to be demanding, assertive,
and independent
Establish clear boundaries necessary to ensure
child's safety; understand that boundaries help
the child test limits and divide the world into
manageable segments.
Still finds mother (or primary
caregiver) very important
Ensure that a special person provides most of
the care.
Waves “bye-bye”
Wave back.
Plays alone but does not play well
with others the same age
Be sure an adult is close by to observe all the
child's activities.
Is possessive of own things
Don't force the child to share, since sharing
can be learned later.
Learns through the physical senses
Provide toys and play games involving different
textures, colors, and shapes (pots, pans, boxes,
blocks, etc.).
Is curious, likes to explore, and pokes
fingers into holes
Allow the child to explore, but first be sure the
area is safe.
Is able to name some common
objects
Talk to the child often, saying the names of
objects seen and used and discussing activities
such as bathing and getting dressed.
Uses one-word sentences (“No,” “Go,”
“Down,” “Bye-Bye”); points to and
names body parts and familiar objects
Teach the names of body parts and familiar
objects; tell stories, read picture books, and
repeat familiar nursery rhymes.
Is able to understand simple directions
Give simple, clear directions and praise the
child when the directions are followed.
Begins to enjoy simple songs and
rhymes
Provide rhythmic songs that are repetitive and
low in key.
11
One to Two Years
Suggested Behaviors
Is inwardly sensitive to adult approval
and disapproval despite tantrums and
bursts of anger
Acknowledge behaviors that you find pleasing
or acceptable; when expressing disapproval
be sensitive and mild-mannered but also firm
and consistent.
12
Two to Three Years
Developmental Tasks
Discovering and establishing a positive,
distinct self through continuous exploration
of the world
Developing communication skills and
experiencing the responsiveness of others
Using memory and acquiring the basics of
self-control
Learning to separate thinking from feeling through experiencing opportunities to make
choices
Becoming aware of limits
Creating personal solutions to simple problems (choosing foods, clothes, activities, etc.)
Overly withdrawn, passive, and/or fearful
Obsessive head banging, finger sucking, and/or rocking
Lack of interest in objects, environment, or play
Excessive temper tantrums: uncontrollable hitting, biting, and hyperventilating and/or
constipation or smearing of feces (stool) as an expression of anger
Excessive stubbornness and/or consistent overreaction to reasonable limits
Weak sense of positive, distinct self (shown as not making choices, meekly accepting
the impositions of others, etc.)
13
Two to Three Years
Suggested Behaviors
Runs, kicks, climbs, throws a ball,
jumps, pulls, pushes, etc.; enjoys
rough-and-tumble play
Provide lots of room and many active
experiences that promote use of arms and legs.
Is increasingly able to manipulate
small objects with hands; likes to
scribble; eats easily with a spoon;
helps to dress self; and can build
a tower of 6 to 7 blocks
Provide activities that involve the use of fingers:
playing with clay, blocks, and finger-paint;
using large crayons and pickup and stacking
toys; dressing self and dolls
Begins to control bowels, with
bladder control occurring slightly
later
Gradually start toilet training; consult pediatrician, nurse, or other professional if unsure how
to begin.
Needs to develop a sense of self and
to do some things for him/herself;
enjoys praise
Provide simple experiences in which the child
can succeed; praise often.
Tests his/her powers; says “No!”
often; shows lots of emotion: laughs,
squeals, throws temper tantrums,
cries violently
Be firm in following through with your
instructions, but do not discipline the child for
expressing feelings and showing independence
as s/he is not deliberately being “bad” but
cannot control feelings until they have been
expressed.
Fears loud noises, quick moves,
large animals, and departure of
mother (or primary caregiver)
Avoid sudden situations involving such fears;
do not force or make fun of the child.
14
Two to Three Years
Suggested Behaviors
Still considers the mother (or primary
caregiver) very important; does not
like strangers
Don't force child to relate to strangers.
Imitates and attempts to participate
in adult behaviors such as washing
dishes, mopping floors, applying
make-up
Allow the child time to explore and begin to
do things for him/herself.
Is able to participate in activities (such
as listening to a story) with others
Provide brief experiences with other children,
but don't expect much equal interaction.
Continues to learn through senses;
is still very curious
Provide sensory experiences; allow the
child opportunities to explore (with limited
“no-no's”).
Has a short attention span
Don't make the child do one thing for more
than a few minutes.
Uses three- to four-word sentences
Talk with the child, and provide simple
explanations when questions are asked.
Begins to sing simple songs and
make rhymes
Provide low-key, rhythmic songs and rhymes
to enjoy and learn.
Usually appears self-reliant and wants
to be good but is not yet mature
enough to be able to carry out most
promises
Accept the child's limited ability to carry out
promises; understand that noncompliance is
not deliberate, just the child's way of expressing
independence.
15
Three to Four Years
Developmental Tasks
Learning to distinguish between reality and fantasy
Becoming comfortable with personal sexual identity
Learning to make connections and distinctions between
feelings, thoughts, and actions
Learning to solve problems by initiating and creating
Excessive fears (especially of strangers) and/or extreme separation anxiety
Shyness and/or lack of interest in others; not playing
Threatening or bullying peers
Excessively repetitive behaviors (especially around food)
Persistent speech problems
Bedwetting; toileting problems
Suggested Behaviors
Runs, jumps, and begins to climb
ladders; may start to ride tricycles;
tries anything; is very active; tends
to wander away
Carefully supervise physical activities; set
necessary limits.
Scribbles in circles; likes to play with
mud, sand, finger paints, etc.; may
begin to put together simple puzzles
and construction toys
Provide materials and activities to develop
coordination (sand, crayons, paint, puzzles).
Dresses him/herself fairly well, but
still cannot tie shoes
Provide opportunities for child to select
clothing and dress him/herself.
continued
17
Three to Four Years
Suggested Behaviors
Is able to feed self with a spoon or
fork
Let the child feed him/herself.
Takes care of toilet needs more
independently; stays dry all day
(but perhaps not all night); becomes
very interested in his/her body and
how it works
Label all body parts without judgment, and
answer questions about body functions simply
and honestly.
Is sensitive about the feelings of
others toward him/herself
Develop a warm relationship with the child,
and demonstrate love for and confidence in
the child through words and actions.
Is developing some independence
and self-reliance
Encourage independent activities.
May have fear of unusual people,
the dark, animals, etc.
Don't make fun of the child, provide a night
light, and never force the child to participate
in activities which are frightening to the child.
Is anxious to please adults and is
dependent on their approval, love,
and praise
Give approval through facial expressions,
gestures, and verbal responses; emphasize the
family's love for the child and avoid negative
remarks about him/her. (Note: Some temporary
regression and jealousy are common when a
new baby arrives.)
May strike out emotionally at
situations or persons when having
troublesome feelings
Offer love, understanding, and patience; help
the child work with and understand his/her
emotions.
18
Three to Four Years
Suggested Behaviors
Mother (or primary caregiver) is still
very important, but the child is able
to leave her for short periods
Express interest in what the child has been
doing while away from caregiver(s).
Imitates adults and begins to notice
differences in the ways that men and
women act
Model the behaviors you want the child
to copy, since at the start of gender role
development the child will imitate adults.
Starts to be more interested in
others and begins group play, though
groups are not well formed; likes
company, but is not ready for games
or competition
Provide enough toys/materials so that several
children can use them together; as necessary,
help the child find socially acceptable ways
of relating to others.
Continues to learn through the
physical senses
Provide many sensory experiences (sand,
water, pictures).
Uses imagination a lot; starts dramatic
play and role playing; likes to
play grown-up roles (Mommy, Daddy,
firefighter, spaceman, Wonder
Woman, etc.)
Provide props for dramatic play (old clothes,
shoes, make-up).
Begins to observe and recognize
cause-and-effect relationships
Point out and explain common cause-and-effect
relationships (how rain helps flowers grow, how
dropping a glass makes it break, how hitting
hurts a person, etc.).
Is curious and inquisitive
Explain things in terms understandable to the
child, answer questions honestly, and help the
child put feelings and ideas to work.
19
Three to Four Years
Suggested Behaviors
Begins to know right from wrong
Provide clear limits and enforce them
consistently (but not harshly).
Finds others' opinions of him/herself
to be important
Praise the child whenever you can do so
honestly; focus on specific behavior(s) and
offer clear, specific feedback. (Say: “You ate
all the peas, and peas are good for you,”
or “That drawing has such wonderful, bright
colors,” instead of “I like that drawing.”)
Is more self-controlled and less
aggressive
Notice and reinforce instances of self-control
(the ability to wait, to share belongings, etc.).
Uses extreme verbal threats (“I'll
kill you!”) without understanding
the full implications
Don't take threats personally or too seriously.
20
Four to Five Years
Developmental Tasks
Learning to make connections and distinctions between
feelings, thoughts, and actions
Suggested Behaviors
Is very active, consistently “on
the go,” and sometimes physically
aggressive
Provide plenty of play space (both indoors
and outside) and (as child tires easily)
adequate rest periods.
Has rapid muscle growth
Provide adequate nutrition (especially ample
protein).
21
Four to Five Years
Suggested Behaviors
Exhibits a great deal of name calling;
can be demanding and/or threatening
Maintain a sense of humor.
Is often bossy, demanding, and
aggressive; goes to extremes (bossy,
then shy); frequently whines, cries,
and complains
Provide outlets for emotional expression
through talking, physical activity, and creative
outlets.
Often “tests” others to see who can
be controlled
Establish limits and then adhere to them.
Is frequently boastful, especially
about him/herself and family
Provide opportunities for talking about him/
herself and family.
Has growing confidence in him/
herself and world
Strengthen positive self-esteem by pointing
out the things child can do for him/herself.
Is beginning to develop some feelings
of insecurity
Assure the child that s/he is loved.
Really needs to play with others;
will be selective about playmates
when playing in groups and often
has stormy relationships
Ensure the child is involved in a preschool,
playgroup, or Headstart program; if that is
not possible, encourage group play, but don't
be surprised by disagreements or negative
behaviors toward certain playmates.
Has good imagination and likes to
imitate adult activities
Allow child to participate in adult activities that
s/he can manage (dusting, simple cooking,
feeding pets, etc.).
Relies less on physical aggression
and is learning to share, accept rules,
and take turns
Expect the child to assume some responsibilities
and follow simple rules (such as taking turns).
22
Four to Five Years
Suggested Behaviors
Has large vocabulary (1500 to 2000
words), has strong interest in language,
and is fascinated by words and silly
sounds
Provide interesting words and tell stories;
play word games.
Likes to shock adults with “bathroom”
language
Ignore such language, since paying attention
to it only reinforces it.
Is continuously curious; talks all the
time and asks lots of questions
Answer questions patiently.
Experiences nightmares
Accept the fright as real, and try to help
the child gain power over the experience
(by providing a “magic” light to freeze the
monsters, etc.).
Has imaginary friends and an active
fantasy life
Don't make fun of the child (or underestimate
the importance of fantasy in the child's life).
Is becoming aware of right and
wrong; usually has the desire
to do right, but may blame others
for personal wrongdoing(s)
Help the child learn to be responsible and
discover the consequences of his/her
behavior(s); be aware of your feelings and
try to understand the child's perspective.
23
Five to Six Years
Developmental Tasks
Learning to make connections and distinctions
between feelings, thoughts, and actions
Excessive fears (especially of strangers) and/or extreme
separation anxiety
Suggested Behaviors
Is able to dress and undress
him/herself
Allow independence in getting dressed/
undressed.
May be farsighted, a common
condition that often causes
eye/hand coordination problems
Accept awkwardness as a normal condition
at this stage; if the problem persists, have
the child's eyes examined.
Is able to care for personal toilet
needs independently
Encourage hygienic behaviors (washing
hands, etc.).
continued
25
Five to Six Years
Suggested Behaviors
Prefers plain cooking but accepts
wider choice of foods; may have
increased appetite
Offer appealing varieties of food in adequate
amounts.
May have stomachaches or vomit
when asked to eat disliked foods
Don't force child to eat anything the child
does not want to eat.
May fear the mother (or primary
caregiver) won't return (with
mother/primary caregiver still
being the center of his/her world)
Avoid leaving until the child is prepared for
the departure and later return of mother or
primary caregiver.
Copies adults and enjoys their praise
Model appropriate behaviors and provide
lots of praise and reassurance.
Plays with other boys and girls; is
calm, friendly, and not too demanding
in relations with others; is able
to play with one child or a group
of children (though prefers members
of the same sex)
Rejoice and provide opportunities for group
play!
Enjoys conversation during meals
Allow and respond to child-initiated
conversation.
Knows differences between the
sexes and becomes more modest
Don't shame child for interest in sexual
differences or for touching him/herself.
Is interested in where babies come
from
Offer a simple, accurate explanation.
May develop nausea and start
vomiting to avoid going to school
(when school is not liked)
Encourage the child to find enjoyable
activities at school.
Is experiencing an age of conformity
and is critical of those who do not
conform
Help the child learn tolerance and the value
of individual differences.
26
Five to Six Years
Suggested Behaviors
In general, is reliable and well-adjusted
Be grateful!
May show some fear of dark, falling,
dogs, or bodily harm (though this is
not a particularly fearful age)
Don't dismiss fears as unimportant.
If tired, nervous, or upset, may exhibit
the following behaviors: nail biting,
eye blinking, throat clearing, sniffling,
nose twitching, and/or thumb sucking
Try not to appear overly concerned, since an
increase in nervous habits is temporary and
normal; deal with the cause of the tension
rather than the habit exhibited (by structuring
the child's time to include quiet play and rest,
reading the child a story, etc.).
Is concerned with pleasing adults
Show your love by recognizing positive
behaviors.
Is easily embarrassed
Be sensitive about situations that may be
embarrassing and help the child avoid them.
May stutter if tired or nervous; may
lisp
Do not emphasize any language disturbance,
since it is probably only temporary.
Tries only what s/he can accomplish;
will follow instructions and accept
supervision
Reinforce mastered skills and provide opportunities to be successful in new, simple activities.
Knows colors, numbers, etc.; may be
able to print a few letters and possibly
learn to read a little independently
Encourage identification of colors and numbers,
as well as printing of own name and short
names of favorite people and objects.
Can identify appearance and
significance of various coins
Provide opportunities for child to make change
(in restaurants, stores); give the child a piggy
bank.
27
Five to Six Years
Suggested Behaviors
Is interested in being good, but
may tell untruths or blame others for
personal wrongdoings because of
intense desire to please and do right
Help the child learn to accept responsibility
for personal actions in a positive, caring
manner. Do not be shocked by untruthfulness;
instead gently help the child understand the
importance of honesty.
Wants to do what s/he believes is
right and avoid doing what is wrong
Acknowledge attempt to act in accordance with
personal beliefs, and don't discipline him/her
for the inability to behave properly at all times.
28
Six to Seven Years
Developmental Tasks
Learning to distinguish between reality and
fantasy
Becoming comfortable with personal sexual
identity
Learning to make connections and distinctions
between feelings, thoughts, and actions
Suggested Behaviors
Is vigorous, full of energy, and
generally restless (foot tapping,
wiggling, inability to sit still)
Provide opportunities for a variety of physical
activities.
Has growth spurts; may be clumsy
due to poor coordination and/or be
in an “ugly duckling” stage
Don't point out or emphasize clumsiness or
changes in appearance.
May occasionally wet or soil him/
herself when upset or excited
Accept accidents calmly and avoid embarrassing
the child.
continued
29
Six to Seven Years
Suggested Behaviors
Has marked awareness of sexual
differences; may want to look at
bodies of opposite sex (“playing
doctor,” “playing house,” etc.);
touches and plays with genitals less
frequently; will accept the idea that
a baby grows in the womb
Calmly give simple, honest answers to any
questions.
Has unpredictable preferences and
strong refusals; often develops a
passion for peanut butter
Provide balanced meals, but don't be overly
concerned with child's preferences or passions.
Eats with fingers and talks with
mouth full
Don't overreact; set a good example.
Suffers more colds, sore throats, and
other illnesses (common because of
exposure at school)
Be aware of disease symptoms, and remember
that crankiness may precede an illness; provide
plenty of rest and balanced meals.
Feels insecure as a result of a drive
toward independence
Provide adequate time, opportunities, and
freedom to practice being independent.
Finds it difficult to accept criticism,
blame, or punishment
Be patient and understanding.
Is center of own world and tends to
be boastful
Accept apparent selfishness as common at this
stage.
Is generally rigid, negative,
demanding, unadaptable, and slow
to respond; exhibits violent extremes,
with tantrums reappearing
Set reasonable limits, provide suitable
explanations for them, and help the child keep
within the limits.
Often makes accusations that others
are “cheating” (when not the winner
at games, etc.)
Discourage games that designate a winner and
provide alternate activities.
30
Six to Seven Years
Suggested Behaviors
May blame mother for anything that
goes wrong (boys identifying strongly
with father)
Provide consistent, caring responses to child's
blame or over-identification with any caregiver.
Doesn't like being kissed in public
(especially boys)
Be sensitive about preferences and act
accordingly.
Identifies with adults outside the
family (teacher, neighbors, etc.)
Accept such identification as part of normal
development.
May have unstable friendships and
be unkind to peers; is a tattletale
Provide guidance with regard to making and
keeping friends.
Must be “the winner,” and may
“change the rules” to fit own needs;
may have no group loyalty
Help him/her to be a good loser.
May develop problems in school if
expectations are too high; has trouble
concentrating; may fool around,
whisper, or bother other children
Keep in touch with the school, and be alert
for feelings of frustration and failure in the
child.
Mealtimes may become difficult
because perpetual activity, with
breakfast commonly the most difficult
meal
Allow extra time for breakfast.
May develop stuttering, especially
when under stress
Remember that language disturbances are
temporary and may disappear of their own
accord.
Wants “all of everything” and finds
it difficult to make choices
Provide opportunities for making decisions,
but limit choices to two or three.
Begins to have organized, continuous
memories; most children learn to
read and write (although some do
not until after age 7)
Promote reading and writing (encourage letters
to relatives and friends, provide opportunities
to create stories, etc.).
31
Six to Seven Years
Suggested Behaviors
Is very concerned with personal
behavior, particularly as it affects
family and friends; sometimes
blames others for own wrongdoings
Teach the child to be concerned and
responsible for personal behavior(s),
and assure the child that everyone makes
mistakes.
32
Seven to Eight Years
Developmental Tasks
Acquiring a sense of accomplishment centered on
achieving greater physical strength and self-control
Increasing own ability to learn and apply skills, deal
with peers, and engage in competition
Developing and testing personal values and beliefs
that will guide present and future behaviors
Excessive concerns about competition and performance (especially in school)
Extreme rebellion
Physical symptoms (headaches, nervous stomach, ulcers, nervous tics, bedwetting, etc.)
Procrastination (unconcern with completion of tasks)
Overdependence on caregivers for age-appropriate tasks (combing hair, going to the
store, tying shoes, finding a restroom in a restaurant, etc.)
Social isolation and lack of friends and involvements; few interests
Inappropriate relationships with “older” people (teenagers)
Stealing, pathological lying, and/or fire-setting
Suggested Behaviors
Drives self until exhausted
Assist child in changing activities to avoid
complete exhaustion; be aware of the child's
physical limits and teach the child to be aware
of them as well.
May frequently pout
Be patient, as the child is not necessarily
unhappy or dissatisfied but is only going
through a stage.
continued
33
Suggested Behaviors
Shows well-established hand/eye
coordination and is likely to be more
interested in painting and drawing
Provide opportunities and materials for
drawing and painting.
May have minor accidents
Ensure a safe environment; provide
reassurance while bandaging cuts and
scrapes.
Is less interested in sex play and
experimentation; may be very
excited about new baby in family
Encourage child-infant relationship (if
applicable).
Has fewer illnesses, but may have
colds of long duration; appetite
decreases
Provide rest and treatment as needed.
May develop nervous habits or
assume awkward positions (sitting
upside down on couch, constant
foot tapping, etc.)
Be patient with annoying habits, and don't
draw attention to any awkwardness.
May complain a lot (“Nobody likes
me,” “I'm going to run away,” etc.)
Provide reasonable sympathy.
May not respond promptly or hear
directions; may forget and/or be
easily distracted
Remind and check as necessary.
May withdraw or not interact with
others (in an attempt to build sense
of self)
Provide personal support and reassurance.
34
Suggested Behaviors
Will avoid and withdraw from adults;
has strong emotional responses
to teacher and may complain that
teacher is unfair or mean
Show understanding and concern.
Enjoys/wants more responsibility and
independence; is often concerned
about “doing well”
Assign responsibilities and tasks that can be
carried out successfully, and then praise child's
efforts and accomplishments; help the child
accept his/her own performance without
negative judgment.
Participates in loosely organized
group play
Encourage and provide opportunities for
group activities.
Is concerned with self (may fear
being late and/or having trouble on
the playground) and may complain
about the reactions of others (“The
other kids are cheating!” or “Teacher
picks on me!”)
Help child evaluate his/her perceptions of the
behaviors of others.
May use aggression as a means of
solving problems
Attempt to prevent conflicts before they erupt.
Girls play with girls/boys play with
boys
Accept such behavior as typical of this stage.
35
Suggested Behaviors
Uses reflective, serious thinking and
becomes able to solve increasingly
complex problems, using logical
thought processes; is eager for
learning
Ask many thought-provoking questions;
stimulate thinking with open-ended stories,
riddles, and thinking games; provide
opportunities for discussions about decision
making and selecting what he/she would do
in particular situations.
Enjoys hobbies and skills-based
activities; likes to collect things and
talk about personal projects, writings,
and drawings
Encourage the pursuit of hobbies and interests.
Favors reality over fantasy
Provide biographies to read, and suggest
other books with realistic characters, plots, and
settings.
Likes to be challenged, to work hard,
and to take time completing a task
Provide challenges appropriate for age and
ability level; allow plenty of time to accomplish
tasks.
May experience guilt and shame
Acknowledge and support the child's
standards, discuss the reasonableness of
personal expectations, and encourage selfforgiveness; if/when negative behaviors
occur, work on changing the behavior but
focus on the worth of the child rather than
the behavior itself.
36
Eight to Nine Years
Developmental Tasks
Acquiring a sense of accomplishment
centered on achieving greater physical
strength and self-control
Increasing own ability to learn and apply skills, deal with
peers, and engage in competition
Developing and testing personal values and beliefs that will
guide present and future behaviors
Extreme rebellion
Overdependence on caregivers for age-appropriate tasks (combing hair, going to the store,
tying shoes, finding a restroom in a restaurant, etc.)
Suggested Behaviors
Is busy and active; has frequent
accidents
Provide care for bumps and bruises, along with
comfort and sympathy.
Makes faces, wiggles, and clowns
around
Don't take such behaviors seriously.
May urinate frequently (as a result
of anxiety)
Be tolerant and understand that loss of control
is not deliberate.
continued
37
Eight to Nine Years
Suggested Behaviors
Has good appetite: may accept new
foods, often “wolfs” down food, and
belches spontaneously
Except for belching, rejoice!
Has improved health, with just a few
short illnesses
Maintain a healthy lifestyle; provide treatment
for minor illnesses.
Has more “secrets”
Provide the child with a locked drawer or box.
May be excessive in self-criticism,
tends to dramatize everything, and
is very sensitive
Encourage efforts, and do not criticize; point
out that others also make mistakes.
Has fewer and more reasonable fears
Acknowledge and discuss real concerns.
May argue and resist requests and
instructions, but will eventually obey
Keep directions simple and straightforward;
avoid “I already know” responses by not
overdirecting.
Likes immediate rewards for
behaviors
Provide small but meaningful rewards for
accomplishments.
Is usually affectionate, helpful,
cheerful, outgoing, and curious,
but can also be rude, selfish, bossy,
demanding, giggly, and silly
Allow expression of negative emotions while
maintaining limits; be patient with giggling
and accept humor.
38
Eight to Nine Years
Suggested Behaviors
Demands love and understanding
from caregiver(s)
Provide love and acceptance.
Makes new friends easily, works
at establishing good two-way
relationships, develops a close friend
of the same sex, and considers clubs
and groups important
Encourage development of friendships; assist
with scouting or sport groups.
Enjoys school, doesn't like to be
absent, and tends to talk more about
things that happen there
Listen to the child's anecdotes about school;
be a part of his/her school life, and attend
school activities such shows and concerts.
Is not interested in family table
conversations, but instead wants to
finish meals in order to get to other
business
Remain tolerant and understanding of child's
needs and feelings.
May “peep” at peers and parents;
tells dirty jokes, laughs, and giggles
Set reasonable limits, and do not overly focus
on behaviors.
Wants to know the reasons for things
Answer questions patiently.
Often overestimates personal
abilities; generalizes instances of
failure (“I never get anything right!”)
Direct child toward attempting what can
be accomplished, but continue to provide
challenges; stress what the child has learned
in a process and not the end product.
Wants more information about
pregnancy and birth; may question
father's role
Continue to be available to answer questions.
39
Eight to Nine Years
Suggested Behaviors
May experience guilt and shame
Acknowledge and support the child's standards,
encouraging self-forgiveness and (if necessary)
discussing the reasonableness of personal
expectations; if negative behaviors occur, work
on changing the behavior but focus on the
worth of the child rather than on the behavior.
40
Nine to Ten Years
Developmental Tasks
Acquiring a sense of accomplishment based upon the
achievement of greater physical
Increasing the ability to learn
and apply skills, deal with peers,
and engage in competition
Developing and testing personal values and beliefs that will guide present and future
behaviors
Extreme rebellion
Suggested Behaviors
Engages in active, rough-and-tumble
play (especially boys) and has great
interest in team games
Provide many opportunities for physical
activities (including team games) to sustain
interest.
Has good body control; is interested
in developing strength, skill, and
speed
Encourage participation in games and
physical activities.
41
Nine to Ten Years
Suggested Behaviors
Likes engaging in crafts and
work-related tasks
Provide opportunities for developing skills
through handicrafts and household tasks.
Differences in physical maturation
rates develop (girls before boys)
Do not compare boys and girls or force them
to interact; start teaching about bodily changes
and explain menstruation to both sexes.
May have some behavior problems
(especially if not accepted by others)
Let the child know you accept him/her,
even though you may not approve of certain
specific behaviors.
Is becoming very independent,
dependable, and trustworthy
Provide many opportunities for exercising
independence and dependability, and praise
those positive characteristics when they are
shown through behaviors.
Boys and girls differ markedly in
personality, characteristics, and
interests, with most being interested
in being part of a group or club (but
always with same sex); sometimes
silliness emerges within groups
Accept the natural separation of boys and girls;
recognize and support the need for acceptance
from peer group.
Begin to test and exercise a great
deal of independence (especially
boys)
Establish and enforce reasonable limits; be
warm but firm.
Is most interested in friends and
social activities; likes group
adventures and cooperative play
Encourage friendships and provide help to the
child who may have few or no friends.
42
Nine to Ten Years
Suggested Behaviors
Has definite interests and lively
curiosity; seeks facts
Adjust learning opportunities to child's interests
and increased attention span; provide specific
information and facts when requested, but
don't give all the answers.
Is capable of prolonged interest
and increasingly abstract thinking
and reasoning
Encourage mental exploration, and allow
adequate time for thinking, reflection, and
discussion.
Individual differences become more
marked
Respect and be aware of individual differences
when making assignments and identifying
responsibilities.
Likes reading, writing, and using
books and references
Provide opportunities for reading, writing,
and using reference materials while at the same
time being careful not to overburden the child.
Likes to collect things
Encourage hobbies and help with collections.
Is very conscious of fairness, is highly
competitive, and argues over fairness
Be fair in all dealings and relationships with
the child.
Has difficulty admitting mistakes
but is becoming more capable of
accepting failures and mistakes and
taking responsibility for them
Provide opportunities for competing, but help
the child see that losing is a part of playing;
do not put the child down for making
mistakes; instead, help the child learn to take
responsibility for personal behaviors.
Is clearly acquiring a conscience and
is aware of right and wrong; generally
wants to do right, but sometimes
overreacts or rebels against these
same standards
Express love and support for the child who
falls short of meeting your personal standards
of right and wrong.
43
Ten to Eleven Years
Developmental Tasks
Acquiring a sense of accomplishment based
upon the achievement of greater physical
Increasing own ability to learn and apply skills,
deal with peers, and engage in competition
Developing and testing personal values
and beliefs that will guide present and future
behaviors
Extreme rebellion
Suggested Behaviors
May have rapid weight increase
(in many girls)
Help girls control weight through proper diet
and good nutrition.
Continues to develop motor skills
(with active, rough behaviors in
boys)
Provide opportunities for rough and tumble
play, but also teach about being careful not
to hurt others or damage property.
45
Ten to Eleven Years
Suggested Behaviors
Becomes concerned with style
(especially girls)
Allow personal selection of clothes and
hairstyle (within a firm budget).
Is casual and relaxed
Allow for casualness and relaxation (but not
to the point of avoiding responsibilities).
Likes privacy
Provide locked drawer, cupboard, or box for
treasures and a “Keep Out” sign for bedroom
door.
Maturation rates differ (girls faster
than boys)
Adjust expectations accordingly.
Seldom cries, but may cry when
angry; while this is not an angry
age, when anger comes it is violent
and immediate
Recognize and accept angry feelings, tears,
and outbursts of temporary duration.
Is concerned and worried about
school and peer relationships
Be aware of school life, and open your home
to the child's friends.
Is affectionate with parents; has
great pride in father and finds mother
all-important
Be sure to spend adequate time with the child.
Is highly selective in friendships and
may have one “best” friend; finds it
important to be “in” with the gang;
may develop hero worship
Accept child's need for (and choice of) friends
and need to feel “in” with a particular group.
46
Ten to Eleven Years
Suggested Behaviors
Is alert, poised; argues logically; is
frequently concerned with fads
Encourage/teach the value and use of logic
in thinking and problem solving (a good time
to discuss issues such as drug abuse).
May like to read
Provide books geared to interests.
Has many interests of short duration,
but may begin to show talent in a
particular field.
Provide lessons in music, art, and other
interests.
Has strong sense of justice and
a strict moral code
Recognize that sense of justice is generally
limited to the child's own world; don't belittle
the code, but instead accept rigidity and
support the child's concerns about right and
wrong.
Is more concerned with what is
wrong than what is right
Encourage a sense of proportion, but also
encourage genuine efforts to change what is
wrong to what is right.
47
Eleven to Twelve Years
Developmental Tasks
Acquiring a sense of accomplishment based
upon the achievement of greater physical
Increasing own ability to learn and apply skills,
deal with peers, and engage in competition
Developing and testing personal values and
beliefs that will guide present and future
behaviors
Indicators Related to
Developmental Lag
Extreme rebellion
Inappropriate relationships with "older" people (teenagers)
Suggested Behaviors
Is increasingly aware of own body
Answer questions about bodily changes
openly and honestly.
May have increased possibility of
acting on sexual desires
Be aware of where youth is and with whom;
encourage group activities and discourage
solo dating.
continued
49
Suggested Behaviors
Begins to show secondary sex
characteristics (in girls)
Ensure that girls understand menstruation
and appropriate hygiene.
Appetite increases, along with
endurance and muscular development
(in boys)
Don't nag boys about food intake and
seeming “laziness,” as rapid growth may
mean large appetite but less energy.
May experience a lack of
self-confidence in learning new skills
Provide support and encouragement for
youth's quest for new skills, and don't minimize
or dismiss his/her lack of confidence.
May often be angry; resents being
told what to do and rebels at routines
Help youth set the rules and determine
personal responsibilities, and allow frequent
opportunities to make personal decisions.
Often is moody; dramatizes and
exaggerates own expressions (“You're
the worst mother in the world!”)
Don't overreact to moodiness and exaggerated
expressions.
Experiences many fears, many
worries, and many tears
Be understanding and supportive through
stormy times.
Is critical of adults and is obnoxious
to others in the household
Be tolerant: all things pass!
Strives for unreasonable
independence
Set limits, but give opportunities for
independence whenever possible.
Has intense interest in teams and
organized, competitive games;
considers memberships in clubs
important
Provide for organized activities in sports
and/or clubs.
50
Suggested Behaviors
Challenges adult knowledge; has
increased ability to use logic
Don't become defensive, as the child is not
really challenging your authority.
May have interest in earning money
Encourage pursuit of earnings through a
paper route, household chores, or other
small jobs.
Is critical of own artistic products
Accept youth's feelings but try to help youth
evaluate his/her work more objectively and
without negative judgments.
Is becoming interested in the outside
world and community and may like
to participate in community activities
Support interest in walkathons, helping
neighbors, etc.
Has strong urge to conform to
peer-group morals
Recognize the youth's need to belong to
a peer group outside the family; be aware
of the values of the group and (without
condemnation) assist youth in examining
peer group morals and in understanding the
consequences of making personal choices
among group values
51
Twelve to Fifteen Years
Developmental Tasks
Creating a personal identity based upon
the integration of values
Developing a sense of self in relation to
society, other individuals, the opposite sex,
the future, personal vocation, ideas, and
the cosmos
Indicators Related
to Developmental Lag
Delays in physical and sexual development
Depression, sense of isolation, loneliness
Suicide attempts; psychosis
Impulsiveness, extreme rebellion; pathological lying; truancy, running away
Denial of feelings, fantasy as an escape from problems
Poor hygiene
Alcohol/drug abuse
Eating disorders: anorexia nervosa, bulimia, obesity
Sexual activity to provide missing nurturance; pregnancy
Juvenile delinquency, stealing, prostitution
53
Suggested Behaviors
Experiences sudden and rapid
increases in height, weight, and
strength with the onset of adolescence
Provide more food and ensure adequate
nutrition.
Maturation rates differ (with girls
gradually reaching physical and sexual
maturity and boys just beginning to
mature physically and sexually)
Explain changes in physical development;
discourage comparison with peers, but
be aware of problems associated with late
maturation.
May be concerned about appearance
of acne (especially with certain types
of skin)
If necessary, provide a special diet and/or
medication to treat acne; provide assurance
that blemishes will clear up eventually.
Is concerned with appearance
Comment favorably on youth's concern with
appearance.
Experiences increased likelihood of
acting on sexual desires
Provide accurate information on consequences
of sexual activity; discuss birth control and safe
sex practices.
Commonly sulks; may direct verbal
anger at authority figure
Understand that such behavior is typical
of this stage.
Is concerned about fair treatment of
others, is usually reasonably thoughtful, and is generally unlikely to lie
Demonstrate respect for the youth as an
emerging adult.
Withdraws from parents (who are
invariably called “old-fashioned”)
Don't feel hurt or take labels personally:
remember you are still important, but not
in the same way that you were.
May often resist any show of
affection (especially boys)
Respect boundaries, but continue to be
affectionate.
Usually feels parents are too
restrictive; rebels
Set clear, firm, but flexible limits.
continued
54
Suggested Behaviors
Needs less family companionship
and interaction than previously
Allow youth more opportunities for independent social activities.
Has less intense friendships with
those of the same sex; usually has
a gang of friends (with girls showing
more interest in boys than boys in
girls at this age)
Don't criticize the youth's need for friends or
particular friends.
May be annoyed by younger siblings
Accept the youth's feelings and help younger
siblings cope with rejection.
Thrives on arguments and discussions
Don't let discussions become arguments; be
careful not to put down the youth's ideas.
Is increasingly able to memorize, to
think logically about concepts, to
reflect, to probe into personal thinking
processes, and to plan realistically
Encourage exploration of thought and deed;
provide books, library card, etc.
Needs to feel important in world and
to believe in something
Encourage youth to join causes, attend
religious and community groups, etc.
May read a great deal
Talk to youth about reading; offer suggested
readings.
Knows right and wrong; tries to weigh
alternatives and arrive at decisions
alone
Facilitate the youth's decision making.
Is concerned about fair treatment
of others; is usually reasonably
thoughtful; is unlikely to lie
Demonstrate esteem and respect for the youth
as an emerging adult.
55
Fifteen to Nineteen Years
Developmental Tasks
Creating a personal identity based upon
the integration of values
Developing a sense of self in relation to
society, other individuals, the opposite
sex, the future, personal vocation, ideas,
and the cosmos
Indicators Related
to Developmental Lag
Delays in physical and sexual
development
Depression, sense of isolation, loneliness
Suicide attempts; psychosis
Impulsiveness, extreme rebellion, pathological lying
Hatred of family, truancy, running away
Denial of feelings; fantasy as an escape from problems
Poor hygiene
Alcohol/drug abuse
Eating disorders: anorexia nervosa, bulimia, obesity
Sexual activity to provide missing nurturance; pregnancy; early marriages that are likely
to fail
Juvenile delinquency, stealing, prostitution
57
Sixteen to Nineteen Years
Suggested Behaviors
Has essentially completed physical
maturation; physical features are
mostly shaped and defined
Recognize and compliment the youth's
physical maturity.
Experiences increased probability
of acting on sexual desires
Provide accurate information about the
consequences of sexual activity; discuss birth
control and HIV prevention.
Worries about failure
Be available to talk and to listen.
May appear moody, angry, lonely,
impulsive, self-centered, confused,
and/or stubborn
Accept feelings, and don't overreact; jointly
establish limits, but don't revert to childhood
restrictions.
Experiences conflicting feelings
about dependence/independence
Avoid making fun of inconsistent behaviors;
accept the need for separation.
Has relationships ranging from
friendly to hostile with parents
Try to maintain good relationship; be respectful
and friendly.
Sometimes feels that parents are
“too interested”
Try not to pry.
Usually has many friends and few
confidants; varies greatly in level
of maturity; may be uncomfortable
with or enjoy activities with the
opposite sex; dates actively; may
talk of marriage
Recognize and accept current level of interest
in opposite sex; encourage experiences with
a variety of individuals (younger, older, from
different cultures, etc.).
May be strongly invested in a single,
romantic relationship
Avoid disapproval; discuss needs and
expectations that are met in the relationship.
58
Sixteen to Nineteen Years
Suggested Behaviors
May lack information about or
self-assurance regarding personal
skills and abilities
If necessary, help arrange for aptitude testing,
evaluation, and guidance.
Becomes seriously concerned
about the future; begins to integrate
knowledge leading to decisions
about future
Encourage talking about and planning for
future.
Is confused and disappointed about
discrepancies between stated values
and actual behaviors of family
and/or friends; experiences feelings
of frustration, anger, sorrow, and
isolation
Be sensitive to youth's feelings and thoughts
and try to bring them out in the open; be
sure to understand your own values.
May be interested in sex in response
to physical/emotional urges and as a
way to participate in the adult world
(but not necessarily an expression of
mature intimacy)
Be open to discussion and appreciate
possible differences in values and needs;
communicate your own feelings about sexual
relations, but don't moralize; accept sexual
experimentation as normal and healthy;
provide correct information on human
sexuality, sexually-transmitted disease, HIV
and AIDS, birth control, intimacy, and safe
types of sexual experimentation (although
until a cure for HIV is found, discourage
unprotected coital sex).
59
Part II: The Development
of Language and Conceptual
Abilities in Children
Introduction
The Challenge of Communicating with Children
Communicating with children can be challenging as well as exciting.
How children convey their thoughts and feelings, their needs, their understanding of their relationships, and their problems depends on their developmental level and their ability to use language.
Understanding what children are trying to convey also depends upon your own sensitivity
to their cues, your skills at observation and assessment, and your ability to relate to them
meaningfully and effectively.
Communicating for Risk Assessment
All comprehensive interviews in child abuse/maltreatment investigations should be conducted
by specially trained child interview specialists, preferably in a multidisciplinary interview center.
However, caseworkers have ongoing responsibility for assessing children's safety and/or risk of
harm. Part of the assessment will rest on the things that children tell caseworkers and caregivers
as well as on what caseworkers observe when they meet children in their natural settings.
The information in the “What you should say or do” column is appropriate for use in both
individual settings and in family groups.
The Variability of Children's Developmental Progress
Child development is characterized by enormous variability. The following chart presents the
research findings of many experts in the field of child development, especially as found in
Clinical and Forensic Interviewing of Children and Families (Sattler 1998), a fine, highly detailed
resource that districts may wish to purchase as a reference for staff. Additional information
about language development was also derived from a recent Newsweek article, “The Language
Explosion” (Cowley 1997).
However, individual children all follow their own individualized developmental clocks. If
concerns arise about the appropriateness of a child's developmental progress in a given area,
supervisors and caseworkers should be consulted to determine whether outside professional
evaluation of the child should be sought.
61
0-2 Months
The Development of Language and Conceptual Abilities in Children
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Makes small, throaty
sounds that turn into
cooing by the end
of the first month
Can distinguish
one language from
another (Russian
babies respond more
to hearing spoken
Russian, while French
babies respond more
to spoken French,
etc.)
Speak softly, with
a high vocal pitch,
and use short, simple
sentences/phrases.
(“Sweet baby…”)
Avoid making loud
sounds as you
approach the baby.
Turns head to follow
sounds, especially
mother's voice
Cries to get all needs
met
Knows and responds
to mother's voice
Hold baby and
observe whether
s/he responds to
your tone of voice.
Avoid sudden or
startling movements.
Rock or stroke baby
to comfort him/her.
Begins to make
simple associations
(such as that crying
leads to being fed)
Indicators of possible developmental problems:
Doesn't cry, babble, or respond to stimuli
63
3-6 Months
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Chuckles, gurgles,
squeals, whimpers,
and makes
vowel-like noises
(“ooh-ooh, eeeeh”)
Memory begins to
build; distinguishes
who's who in his/her
life
Speak with a soft
voice and use simple
sentences.
Avoid loud noises
and sudden, startling
movements.
Babbles routinely to
self and others
May raise voice as if
asking a question by
end of sixth month
Cries to signal needs,
distress, and/or
desire for company
Address baby by
name. (“How's
Amanda today?”)
May recognize
mother in a group
of people
May perceive
cause-and-effect
relationships (if the
rattle is shaken, it will
make a sound) by
end of sixth month
Hold baby, make
eye contact, and
observe baby's
response to being
held.
Imitates sounds and
facial expressions
Doesn't turn toward voices
Crying seems unrelated to needs
Isn't vocalizing
64
6-9 Months
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Starts to imitate a
broader range of
sounds
Memory improves
(may anticipate that
a jack-in-the-box
pops up at the end
of the song, etc.)
Approach the child
very slowly and
gently.
Don't startle or
surprise baby with
sudden movements.
May say “da-da” or
“ma-ma” by ninth
month
May remember how
to respond to specific
words/phrases (raises
arms to be lifted after
hearing the words
“picked up,” etc.)
Listens intently to
conversations around
him/her
Use a soft voice and
speak slowly.
May begin to be shy
with strangers
Clearly knows mother,
family members,
and other significant
individuals
Intentionally summon
others by crying or
yelling
Responds to own
image in mirror
Stops babbling
Isn't imitating sounds, gestures, or expressions
Doesn't look at objects shown by adults
65
9-12 Months
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Adds gestures to
words; may wave
“bye-bye”
Says an average
of 3 words (but
understands many
more) by 12 months
Approach the child
very slowly and
gently.
Don't startle or
surprise baby with
sudden movements.
Babbles short
sentences only
s/he understands
(beginning of
patterned speech)
Specific, emotional
cries (each with a
distinct sound) to
express frustration,
hunger, illness, and
boredom
Begins to show signs
of self-recognition
Use a soft tone of
voice and speak
slowly.
Realizes that objects
exist even when they
can't be seen
Responds to own
name
Doesn't engage in baby games
Doesn't wave "bye-bye"
Doesn't take turns vocalizing
66
13-18 Months
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Says about 22 words
by 18 months
Uses expressive
information from
mother's face to guide
own behaviors
Approach the child
slowly.
Don't startle or
surprise baby with
sudden movements.
Increases use of
gesturing for communicating (pointing,
waving, etc.)
May use words to
express needs (says
“up” to be held, etc.)
Enjoys pointing at
pictures and objects
and likes hearing
them named
Expect the child to
be shy and possibly
Enjoys songs, rhymes, afraid.
and simple games
If child is toddling,
Knows that words
get down on the floor
represent objects that at his/her level.
can be acted upon
Give the child time
May obey simple
and space to explore
commands (“Come
you (touch your
here,” “Don't touch!” earrings or the buttons
etc.)
of your shirt, etc.)
May overextend word
meanings (calls all
adult men “da-da,”
etc.)
Make simple statements. (“You are
wearing a blue shirt
today.”)
Don't expect a toddler
to provide you with
specific, reliable
information.
Begin by connecting
with the child, and
then proceed to assess
developmental status
through observation
and interaction;
don't attempt to
“interview” in the
traditional manner.
Doesn't talk, or uses only a few words
Repeats sounds noncommunicatively
Doesn't respond to own name
Doesn't respond to simple requests
67
18-24 Months
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Has a vocabulary
of 272 words (on
average) by age 2
Experiences a
language acquisition
explosion, with some
children learning
up to 12 new words
a day
Speak slowly and
give the child enough
time to respond.
Don't pressure the
child to speak.
(Stranger anxiety
usually peaks around
17 months but may
last until nearly the
second birthday.)
May express frustration or anger through
the use of words or
may resort to screams Knows the names
and tears
of own body parts
and clothing items;
Combines words
identifies common
to create simple
animals and the
sentences (“All gone!” sounds they make
“Go bye-bye?”)
Knows that everything
Imitates words and
has a name
gestures
May follow simple
Knows (and works
directions (but
with!) the word “no”
still has a fleeting
attention span)
Talk about objects
that are familiar to
the child. (“Is this
your dolly?”).
Don't rush into the
child's space.
Listen patiently.
Approach the child
on his/her own level.
Do not expect the
child to give you
much (if any) reliable
information, since
the use of memory is
still a new and shaky
skill.
Knows own name
and the names of
family members
68
18-24 Months
(cont.)
Stops talking
Doesn't develop use of gestures
Doesn't talk, or uses only a few words
Doesn't respond when addressed by name
69
2-3 Years
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Uses three- to
four-word sentences,
including the pronoun
“I” (“I want milk!”
“I don't wanna nap!”)
May sort out toys by
shapes and colors by
age 3
Approach the child
gently and quietly.
Don't expect the child
to give you specific,
reliable information.
Asks “why” and
remembers short
answers
Is able to describe
own physical states
using simple words
(“thirsty,” “wet,” etc.)
Make yourself
comfortable in his/her Don't expect the child
physical space (by
to tell you when
sitting on the floor
something happened.
with the child, etc.).
Don't pressure the
Ask questions in
child to talk with you.
simple terms.
May understand
concepts such as
“soon” or “after
dinner” but has very
limited grasp of the
meaning of days
and times and has
no sense at all of the
length of a year
Cannot understand
May chatter constantly an issue from more
that one viewpoint
Shows emotions:
(one-sided reasoning)
laughs, squeals, cries
violently, throws
Experiences flourishtantrums
ing imaginative life
Has difficulty
verbalizing feelings
and thoughts
Conveys feelings
with concrete remarks
(says “Bad mommy!”
when required to pick
up own messes)
Before speaking with
the child, be sure
to obtain parental
permission in front
of the child. (“Chad,
your mommy says it's
fine if I sit here and
you and I play for a
little while. Isn't that
right, Mrs. Colley?”)
Follows story lines;
remembers ideas and Check to be sure you
characters from books understand. (“So you
went to the store with
Mommy?”)
Use props such as
puppets or crayons
to play with the child.
70
2-3 Years (cont.)
Appears to be mute
Speaks only intermittently
Repeats certain words/phrases (such as a TV commercial) to the exclusion of all other
communication (echolalia)
Leads adults by the hand when trying to communicate needs
Shows no interest in the conversations of others
Doesn't play with others
71
3-5 Years
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
Has a vocabulary
of approximately
900 words by age 3;
increases vocabulary
to 1500 to 2000
words by age 5
Develops gross and
fine motor coordination; uses crayons or
markers to color and
prints own name by
age 5
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Establish rapport by
Don't expect the child
playing a game or
to give you reliable,
showing an interesting specific information.
toy.
Don't expect the
Encourage the child
child to consistently
to take the lead
describe when or
May count to 20
Sees feelings as
(“Let's play with these how often something
or more and can
an “all-or-nothing”
puppets. Choose one happened or to
recognize most
proposition
and say anything you describe a traumatic
letters of the alphabet
like.”) while setting
event in any logical
Believes
that
a
given
by age 5
firms limits regarding sequence.
event causes the same not hitting or breaking
Uses increasingly
feelings in all people
things (“You can hit
complex sentences
the pillow, but you
(including verb tenses, Bases judgments of
can't hit me.”).
plural forms, preposi- “right” and “wrong”
on “good” or “bad”
tions, possessives,
Use short, concrete
consequences and
and contractions) to
questions to help
not
on
intention
convey meaning (A
expand upon or
3-year-old may say:
clarify the child's
Mixes wishful thinking
“I bringed home two
concerns.
and fact
toy mouses,” while
Be friendly, positive,
the 5-year-old could
Understands time in
and reassuring.
report: “I brought
a rudimentary way,
home two toy mice.”) but has difficulty
Convey your genuine
distinguishing morning concern for the child.
Can describe who did
what to whom (“The from afternoon or
remembering days
Power Ranger made
of the week
the bad guys give
back the gold and go
away.”)
72
3-5 Years (cont.)
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
Asks about the
meanings of words
and the uses of
various objects
Doesn't fully
understand kinship
relationships, though
terms (mother, uncle,
grandmother) may
be commonly used
as labels
Rhymes words and
remembers songs
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Recognizes some
Can remember
words on a page and pictures and events
“reads” familiar stories
by age five
Notices discrepancies
and when things are
Likes to make silly
out of place
sounds; uses foul
language to shock
Is eager for adult
adults
approval
Is boastful
Calls other children
by mean or silly
names
Normal nonverbal
communication
includes being active,
distractible, and
wiggly; not sustaining
eye contact; and
sometimes falling
down for no apparent
reason
Describes others in
global, egocentric,
and subjective terms
(“She's nice cuz she
gave me a sucker!”)
Believes that s/he is
the cause of the
emotions or actions
of others (“If I was a
good girl, Mommy
wouldn't hurt me.”)
73
3-5 Years
(cont.)
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Likes the company
of others, but can't
always manage harmonious relationships
Doesn't speak
Regresses to “baby-talk” or quits talking
Doesn't answer simple “who?” “what?” and “where?” types of questions
Repeats certain words/phrases (such as a TV commercial) to the exclusion of all other
communication (echolalia)
Cannot be understood by persons outside of his/her family
Is not able to use brief (four-word) sentences to express self
Uses abnormal rhythmic patterns and/or vocal tones when speaking
74
6-8 Years
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Experiences a rapid
increase in vocabulary
and may reach 20,000
words by age 8
Makes the transition
from childhood
“magical” thinking
to reasoned thinking
based on a concrete,
fact-based understanding of the world
Try to create an
environment that
feels safe and friendly
to the child, and
position yourself on
his/her level during
interactions.
Don't confuse
seemingly adult
conversational ability
with adult abstract
thinking ability: the
Structures sentences
7-year-old child
much as adults
who reports “Mom's
do, following
boyfriend dumped
standard conventions Learns to tell time
Convey interest in the her because she was
of grammar
and can identify day child's (self-centered) always drunk” may
of week, and month
world by asking about have his facts right,
Uses concrete word
of year
and listening as s/he
but s/he still needs
definitions
talks about personal
to be reassured as
Can give temporal
items (favorite books a child. (In such
Tattletales, boasts, and information about
or shows, games,
instances, an adult
mixes fantasy with
symptoms or events
places to go, etc.).
might wonder,
fact to fulfill wishes
(such as how long the
“What's going on
(When trying to make stomachache lasted
Use a friendly, low-key
with Mom?” On the
friends with another
or how long it takes
approach and give
other hand, the
child, a child with no to get to school)
concrete explanations child's real concern
ponies may say “I
for speaking with the
is “What's going to
have two ponies and Defines morality
child. (“I would like
happen to me?”)
my mother says you
based on outside
to hear what you
can come and live
authority and rules
did on your visit with
with me and ride my
your dad yesterday.”)
Develops a sense of
ponies.”)
fairness
Complains; can
Understands that
be very negative,
another person's
demanding, and
perspective may be
judgmental (“That's
different than his/her
not fair!”)
own point of view
75
6-8 Years
(cont.)
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Can take some
responsibility for
household chores
Recognizes his/her
own emotions but
may have difficulty
describing them (“I
have a stomachache”
really means “I am
feeling scared.”)
Provide reassurance
that the child is doing
the right thing by
talking with you
(including securing
parental permission
and support as
appropriate).
Normal nonverbal
communication
includes wiggling,
fidgeting, jiggling
one leg, hopping
from foot to foot, etc.
Is acutely aware of
pressure from parents,
teachers, and others
Cautions:
Regresses in language skills
Doesn't speak or stops speaking
Begins to stutter
Appears incoherent, illogical, pressured, and/or poorly connected to reality when speaking
Has tantrums and goes to violent extremes
76
8-10 Years
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Develops vocabulary
of approximately
40,000 words by
age 10
Becomes increasingly
logical and objective
when thinking
Use a low-key,
friendly, but serious
approach.
To avoid creating
anxiety, allow the
child to talk through
his/her narrative
unrushed.
Begins to be able to
Greatly increases
take on the perspecreading ability
tive or role of another
and put him/herself in
Refines conversational someone else's place
strategies and uses
when judging actions
synonyms, jokes,
and intentions
metaphors to convey/
reinforce meaning
Understands that
effort influences
Initiates friendships,
outcome
talks on the phone,
and listens to other
Accepts the simultanepoints of view.
ous existence of two
conflicting emotions
Acts silly and giggly
(one may want to
when in a group
live at home while
at the same time be
Can describe own
afraid of living at
values (“It's not right
home with a parent
to steal because the
who sometimes
Bible says it's wrong
becomes abusive)
and because if everybody stole, people
would have to stay
home and watch their
stuff all the time and
it just wouldn't work
out.”)
Let the child set the
pace of the interaction.
Emphasize your
respect for the child
by addressing him/her
in an adult manner:
identify yourself,
explain your job title,
and share your
expectation that the
child has important
things on his/her mind
(mastery and
self-confidence being
increasingly important
at this stage).
Remember that even
when some children
seem very mature,
they still need reassurance that they don't
have to make adult
decisions.
Convey patience to
the child through your
words and actions.
Invite the child to
describe relationships
with peers and
teachers and to
discuss personal
interests.
77
8-10 Years
(cont.)
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
Mixes shows of affection, cheerfulness, and
outgoing behaviors
with instances of
rudeness, selfishness,
and bossiness
Recognizes that
events in the lives
of his/her parents
influence their emotions and no longer
assumes personal
responsibility for
how others feel/act
Normal nonverbal
communication
includes: fidgeting,
twisting hair, wiggling,
etc.
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Regresses in language use/skills
Cannot sustain conversations with adults or peers
Speaking is incoherent, illogical, pressured, or blocked
Stutters excessively
Has great difficulty with reading and/or appears to show no interest in reading
78
10-12 Years
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Increasingly able to
gather facts, discuss
problems, and make
plans
Thinks logically and
objectively
Use the same strategies described in the
previous entry, but
refine them in the
context of the child's
increased ability
to think logically and
to be treated with
respect.
Don't rush the child
into discussions of
highly charged,
emotional material.
Argues logically
Shows interest in
other people's ideas
(at times)
Enjoys peer and
slang vocabulary
Dramatizes and
exaggerates
Grasps “double”
meanings of words
(puns)
Sees others in more
individualized and
detailed ways (“T.J.
is always in trouble
because he just
doesn't get it. He's
stubborn and he acts
stupid, but he's not
really.”)
Has highly developed
Comprehends years
vocabulary
as well as specific
dates and understands
Normal nonverbal
historical chronology
behaviors less
(“I was born in West
obvious; is able to
Seneca, then when I
sustain good eye
was three we moved
contact, sit quietly,
to Olean, then when
and focus on a task,
but still has enormous I was 10, I moved to
Troy.”)
physical energy and
needs outlets for it
Can understand
and apply health and
hygiene rules
Recognizes that
emotions come from
“inner experiences”
Experiences many
fears and worries
If a conversation is
about something that
might be highly emotionally charged for
the child, allow ample
time to “warm up”
and to “cool down”
after your interview.
Take timing cues from
the child's verbal and
nonverbal behaviors.
Give the child
permission and
encouragement to
share whatever
information s/he
thinks you should
have. (“Is there anything else you would
like me to know
about?”)
79
10-12 Years
(cont.)
Is inhibited; withdraws
80
12-15 Years
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
Has an adult-level
vocabulary
Has the ability to
reason abstractly,
use problem solving
Points out inconsistent strategies, think
logic and behaviors
sequentially, and
on the part of adults
generalize
Likes to think and
discuss ideas
Incorporates abstract
conceptions (such as
of temperament) into
self-assessments (“I'm
loyal to my friends.”)
Realizes that s/he
knows him/herself
better than do his/her
parents (or anyone
else)
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Treat the young
person respectfully.
Don't rush into the
relationship.
Join in the youth's
activities and show
your interest in his/her
concerns and needs.
Don't be easily
persuaded that
everything is “just
fine” when the youth
seems reluctant to
talk.
Be direct and honest
about the purpose of
your interactions.
Be sensitive to the
young person's
Exhibits self-conacute fear of embarsciousness,
self-centeredness, and rassment and fear of
Compares and
being seen as “weird”
preoccupation with
contrasts others
by peers for talking
own thoughts
(“Mary is smarter than
to you; whenever
Bill, even though Bill Feels unique and
possible, plan to see
works harder.”)
special
him/her in a private
setting.
Is sarcastic in speech Is susceptible to
shame and self-doubt Be patient, as it may
Spends hours talking
take a long time for
with friends
Views behaviors
a young person to
that harm society as
open up and share
May display erratic
wrong
real concerns.
work and play
patterns and transient
mood swings
81
12-15 Years
(cont.)
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Becomes annoyed
by siblings and often
puts them down
May specialize in
one-word answers
to questions from
parents or other
adults by age 14
or 15 (“Where did
you go?” “Out.”
“What did you do?”
“Nuthin.” “Did you
have a good time?”
“Uh-huh.”)
Experiences extreme isolation, even from peers
82
15-18 Years
What the
typical child
might say
and do:
What the
typical child
knows or
thinks:
What you
should
say or do:
Cautions:
Thinks and discusses
issues and concerns
much like an adult
Develops greater
understanding of and
preoccupation with
the future
Join and engage with
the youth as with an
adult, conveying the
core conditions of
empathy, respect, and
genuineness.
Don't rush into the
relationship.
Uses abstract
reasoning
Is able to test new
ideas and opinions
verbally
Emphasizes relationships with friends
and peers over
relationships with
family
May be argumentative Recognizes and
accepts responsibility
Makes strong push
for how his/her
toward independence opinions may affect
Displays inconsistent others
behaviors
May be very critical
of self and others
May fluctuate
between having
adult opinions and
ideas and acting
on childlike (or
hedonistic) impulses
Be a good listener.
Be willing to be a
“sounding board” and
offer your attentions
and responses as
appropriate.
Don't be easily
persuaded that
everything is “just
fine” when the youth
seems reluctant to
talk.
Extend your understanding of the reality
that the young person
is somewhere between
the (liberated and
scary) world of adults
and the (stifling and
theoretically safe)
world of childhood.
83
15-18 Years
(cont.)
Experiences extreme isolation, even from peers
Doesn't make any attempts toward independence
Doesn't plan for the future
Shows no interest in social relations with peers of the same or opposite sex
84
Sources
Allen, J. et al. 1976 Adoption of Children with Special Needs. Athens: University
of Georgia.
Cowley, Geoffrey. “The Language Explosion.” Newsweek, Special Issue: Summer 1997.
Sattler, Jerome. 1998. Clinical and Forensic Interviewing of Children and Families.
San Diego: Jerome M. Sattler Publisher, Inc
85

Child Development Guide - Center for Development of Human

Transcription

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