Stu`s Movie Reviews 2013 Father`s Day Edition

Stu's Movie Reviews
2013 Father’s Day Edition
Note I’m definitely not a pro reviewer. It’s just that if I don’t jot down impressions of movies I watch, I tend to forget them in a week. I rarely see blockbusters, usually stick to films that gross less than 10 mil. As a joke, I started rating these movies to three significant figures sometime in 2011. That way I could say I was the most precise (if not accurate) movie reviewer in the world. I started to add rambling riffs at the end of reviews sometime in 2011 as well. Warning! The reviews have typos and weird sentences with Yiddish grammar galore. Ignore the typos but not the opinions. My Rules of Thumb If it isn't funny, it better be damn good (mediocre and funny is OK); if it has subtitles, it better be fantastic. What You’ll See Mentioned Time and Time Again The script is lousy, but the acting is excellent. A Modest Request You can disagree with me, but don’t shoot me. This Year I’ve Added Color Coding Red: Run, do not walk, to your library to get a copy. Orange: I like it. Black: If you’re sick at home with a fever and this thing shows up on TV, why not? Blue: Brain cell killer. 2 All Time Favorites This is a good way to see if it’s worthwhile to read my reviews. If you shake your head at the list below, go no further. American Splendor Drama Annie Hall Comedy Bananas Comedy Beaufort Foreign Being John Malkovich Comedy Best in Show Comedy Big Night Drama Bonnie and Clyde Drama Boys Don't Cry Drama Breaker Morant: Drama Capturing the Friedmans Documentary Chicken Run Comedy Chinatown Drama Citizen Kane Drama A Clockwork Orange Drama The Conversation Drama The Deer Hunter Drama Duck Soup Comedy Ed Wood Comedy Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Comedy Everest: IMAX Documentary Fargo Drama A Fish Called Wanda Comedy Forrest Gump Drama Genghis Blues Documentary Ghost World Independent The Godfather: Part II Drama The Godfather: Part III Drama The Heart of the Game Documentary Hedwig and the Angry Inch Music & Musicals High Fidelity Comedy Horse Feathers Comedy The In-­‐Laws Comedy Into the Arms of Strangers Documentary The Interrupters Documentary The Italian Foreign Late Marriage Foreign The Lives of Others Foreign Living Out Loud Drama LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring: Action & Adventure LOTR: Return of the King: Action & Adventure 3 LOTR: The Two Towers: Action & Adventure Marat / Sade Classics Maria Full of Grace Foreign Melvin and Howard Drama Monkey Business Comedy No End in Sight Documentary Nowhere in Africa Foreign Nurse Betty Comedy Pan’s Labyrinth Foreign Please Vote For Me Documentary Psycho Drama Raging Bull Drama Ratatouille Children & Family Searching For Sugar Man Documentary A Separation Foreign The Shawshank Redemption Drama Sideways Comedy Sleeper Comedy Sling Blade Drama Sondheim: The Birthday Concert Musical Theater Spellbound Documentary The Sting Classics The Straight Story Drama Sweetgrass Documentary The Sweet Hereafter Drama The Tillman Story Documentary This Is Not A Film Documentary Toy Story Children & Family Toy Story 3 Children & Family True Romance Thrillers Up The Yangtze Documentary Up Series (7 to 49) Documentary Vera Drake Drama We Live In Public Documentary West Side Story Classics When We Were Kings Documentary The White Ribbon Drama Winter’s Bone Drama The Wizard of Oz Children & Family Wonder Boys Drama Zero Dark Thirty Drama 4 Recent Short Reviews (alphabetical listing) Adam's Apples You rated this movie: 2.0 Part Ingmar Bergman and part Three Stooges, this absurdist parable I’m sure has an audience, but it’s not for me. A faith-­‐filled, kind-­‐to-­‐the-­‐point-­‐of lunacy-­‐pastor battles a Hitler-­‐loving evil-­‐to-­‐the-­‐point-­‐of-­‐lunacy misfit. One unbelievable thing happens after another. The battle escalates (that’s the plot). The pace is incredibly slow. If you like slow-­‐going, foreign, sort-­‐of-­‐comedies with attempts at deeper meaning (Eling, The Band’s Visit), this one might work for you. You wrote this on 2009-­‐07-­‐06 Adventureland You rated this movie: 3.0 Greg Mattola made a wonderful movie about a decade ago, The Daytrippers. It was subtle and intelligent. Then he made a raunchy coming of age comedy that I thought was unwatchable, but made a ton of money, Superbad. This third one is somewhere between the other two. Adventureland is a paint by numbers coming of age movie set in an amusement park. This kind of movie has been done so many times before – not the setting but a romantic comedy with people who should have pimples but don’t because it’s Hollywood – that it’s hard for a new one to stand out. This one doesn’t. If you were born in about 1965, this movie might work because of the nostalgia factor: the movie takes place with 20-­‐somethings in 1987. Otherwise I’d skip this movie. It’s a decently done and acted, boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl tale that’s ultimately forgettable. On a side note, a movie like this can live or die on its soundtrack. According to the music supervisor, the music budget for the movie was very low. It shows. You wrote this on 2009-­‐10-­‐01 After the Wedding You rated this movie: 2.0 I read somewhere recently that Danes were among the happiest people in the world. You’d never know it from this film, which has more close ups of grim faces and tears than I’ve seen in a while. That the characters are sad is not the principle reason this film isn’t very good. This is a movie that sacrifices depth for plot. There is just too much going on to allow me to suspend my disbelief. Take one billionaire, one illegitimate child, one long lost affair, one dying person, one newly sprung affair, one wedding, one long lost child, hundreds of orphans in India and you have this messy soup of a movie. On the plus side, the cinematography is excellent and the actor who plays the billionaire is outstanding. But the script needed some serious doctoring. You wrote this on 2009-­‐06-­‐06 Ahead of Time You rated this movie: 4.0 5 Ahead of Time is an inspiring account of a remarkable woman, Ruth Gruber, who marched to a different drummer. The movie covers the time before Ruth Gruber was married. Brooklyn born, she attended NYU at 15 and received her Ph.D. in Germany (during the rise of Hitler) at the age of 20. She went on to become a journalist who not only covered the plight of Jewish refugees – most notably the refugees on the “Exodus” in 1947 – but also helped their cause. Amazingly, it’s something she still does today in her 90s. The interviews show her to be a serene woman with guts, honesty and morality who never falls to cynicism and possesses a strong duty to both inform and help others. You walk away from a movie like this inspired to be a better person. You wrote this on 2010-­‐08-­‐02 Ajami You rated this movie: 3.0 The movie is good for what it is, a cinema verite type-­‐look at the gritty underworld of Arab Israel. An average Israeli-­‐Arab family gets pulled down into a life of crime after a shoot out in their family cafe causes them to owe a ridiculous amount of money to a Mafia-­‐like syndicate. You can tell that non-­‐actors are used and that much of the dialogue is improvised. Almost the entire movie is in Arabic. There is a lot of fast cutting and use of hand held cameras in poor lighting, all of which add to the realism. But ultimately, I as a viewer like tightly scripted, well-­‐acted dramas focused on real people and where people aren’t shot every 15 minutes. So if you like gritty crime movies, you’ll probably like this one. If you have to turn your head when confronted with violence, however, you’ll probably end up missing a good third of this movie (me). You wrote this on 2010-­‐09-­‐19 The American Folk Blues Festival: 1962-­‐1966 You rated this movie: 4.0 If you’re a blues enthusiast, these German DVDs are probably a must see. If you’re just a casual music fan, then they’ll bore. But for me, both the cultural context – those funny little German TV show sets trying to depict back porch life in the American South – and most of all, the ability to see the musicians I saw as old men in the mid-­‐1970s play in their prime live on a TV show are wonderful. On the negative side, the DVD just goes from one musician to the next without any effort to maintain continuity or give any feel for what the TV show was about. On the plus side, the quality of the video and audio is excellent. Clearly, coming to Europe was a treat for these musicians. They are dressed to the nines and look like happy as can be. You wrote this on 2011-­‐01-­‐19 Amour 2.96 out of 5.00 I could see Amour as an art installation. You’d walk into a booth and watch a 20-­‐
minute loop of a misanthropic couple, the woman sick from a stroke, interact with each other. The loop would show the man caring for the woman in unflinching detail. You’d walk out of the installation and feel disturbed, unhappy, but also emotionally 6 enriched. Amour isn’t an art installation, though. It tries to be a two-­‐hour plus movie. There is simply not enough material here to make a full-­‐length feature. After about the fifty-­‐minute mark, Amour loses its potency almost completely because of the repetition of situations and emotions. It doesn’t help that the couple is, even when healthy, cold and distant (as is their daughter) to all but themselves. The emotional range they show consists of dark, darker and darkest. Tags: I can believe this is happening, but I don’t really want to see it; this is like I Love Lucy without jokes, without a laugh track, and without the Mertzes; I’d walk out right now but the crowd seems so involved that I don’t want to kill their mood; an Englishman has Isabelle Huppert for a wife and fools around, like that would happen; I wonder if this would be better in 3-­‐D; next time, comedy! Sunday, January 27, 2013 at 7:45am Amreeka You rated this movie: 4.0 A very sweet, slice of life look at the immigrant experience made poignant by the tension of the beginning of the Iraqi War. A Palestinian mother and son come to small-­‐town America with a lot of hope and very little money. Their timing, arriving during a time when the public views every Arab as a terrorist, couldn’t be worse. Some of the story is predictable, the structure is a bit too episodic, and the emotional impact is sometimes blunted by sentimentality, but overall this story rings true. It reminded me a lot of another recent movie concerning immigration, Under the Same Moon, except here there is a little bit less tugging at your heartstrings and the emotions seem a bit more raw. The lead actress is superb, successfully conveying a tricky mix of sweetness and bitter awareness. For those who don’t like subtitles, it should be noted that about 70 percent of the film is in Arabic. The included short “Make A Wish” is sad, but also well worth watching. You wrote this on 2010-­‐06-­‐27 An Education You rated this movie: 4.0 Ah the acting. Up and down it’s great in this film. Alfred Molina is a superb craftsman. Carey Mulligan is a wonderful newcomer. The bit part by Emma Thompson is fun to watch. The script is pretty much paint by numbers, coming of age stuff, but the way it’s performed makes this a splendid movie. When I think about it, it’s actually very difficult to carry off a film like this. The lead male is essentially a 30-­‐something sexual predator. Somehow you have to make him bearable to watch and see him through the eyes of the 16-­‐year-­‐old girl. That takes careful acting and directing. Both are evident here. This wouldn’t be possible to do in an American big budget movie. But in a quieter film, you can show nuances and assume the audience has an average IQ greater than 90. All in all, this is a very carefully done and pleasing to watch coming of age story. You wrote this on 2010-­‐04-­‐20 Animal Kingdom 7 You rated this movie: 3.0 Jacki Weaver is wonderful in her performance as the mama lion in this grim drama of an Australian crime family in decay. Overall, this movie has its compelling, if depressing, aspects. A sense of foreboding is palpable throughout and there are times when you feel like you’re watching something Shakespearean in scope. But there are problems with the structure of the script. The most charismatic male character, the only one that you might feel warmly about, is barely on the screen. The lead male is a laconic teen and there is only so much interest an audience can have in someone so quiet and inarticulate. Those structural problems make this film less than arresting. If you like modern, edgy depressing crime dramas, you might take to this one. You wrote this on 2011-­‐01-­‐23 Anita O’Day: The Life of a Jazz Singer You rated this movie: 4.0 Being eccentric is one thing. Being talented is another. Anita O’Day was both in spades. No pop or jazz singer has ever had a more innate sense of rhythm. This documentary presents Ms. O’Day’s wonderful musicality and eccentric free spirit personality in an unvarnished way. Ignore the talking heads in this movie; they’re pretty worthless. Just listen to Anita O’Day talk about her life and sing. It will be time well spent. Ms. O’Day was a musical treasure. You wrote this on 2009-­‐08-­‐11 Arbitrage 3.02 out of 5.00 It’s good to see movies with family; you can learn a lot of interesting things. For example with Arbitrage I learned that my daughter, should I become a scummy criminal like the lead character in the movie, would never lie to keep me from being arrested. The nerve! She apparently believes that laws should not be broken. Huh? I must not have raised her right. What about loyalty? What about blood? I don’t get it. She’s out of the will! I learned some other things as well. Never have a French mistress who smokes cigarettes and does cocaine. It only leads to trouble. Never drive drowsy. It can lead to major accidents. Don’t drive Mercedes sedans because they blow up when you flip them and apparently they flip easily. That’s all very useful stuff. Now on to the actual movie review. Arbitrage is a serious attempt to look at the life of a shallow, flawed man – in this case a scummy Wall Street tycoon – in order to examine how those who love him – his wife, kids, mistress, and the son of a former employee – respond to his obsessive selfishness. Richard Gere plays the lead, Susan Sarandon plays the wife, and people I’ve never seen before play the younger parts. Everyone is damn good looking and everyone is just about as shallow as the lead. This lack of depth creates problems because at its heart, Arbitrage is supposed to be a psychological drama. How can 8 there be interesting psychology when everyone is a stick figure? What’s left is the crime story aspect of this movie, and the plot of that crime story isn’t half bad. Tags: It’s almost always true in American crime movies that the character with the foreign accent dies; if there were a bald person in this movie he/she would be a terrorist; I can use Photoshop much better than that; he may have a high threshold for pain, but I don’t have a high threshold for painful dialogue; I’ve lost money in Russian copper mines too, I can relate. December 30, 2012 at 9:28pm Argo 3.82 out of 5.00 Argo is a caper movie and I'm really not a caper movie kind of guy. Usually in movies like this there are between seven and eleven super cool dudes escaping from a WWII prisoner camp or stealing jewels or whatnot. I don't want to be a thief and I definitely can't see myself making it for one second in a WWII camp, so I just yawn through these kinds of movies. But Argo is more than a bit different than your typical caper movie. It's funny, intentionally so. Also only the lead guy is caper-­‐
movie cool. The rest of the actors are just plain Bill ordinary. I actually think that if the lead actor were as vanilla as the rest of the cast, Argo would work even better. Finally, the caper is real -­‐ based on the CIA sneaking out six Americans during the Iran hostage crisis -­‐ not some slick yarn dreamed up in Hollywood. Argo is a carefully made, old-­‐fashioned piece of entertainment. There's a lot of hand-­‐held camera work and fast cutting that usually enhances the drama, but sometimes is overdone. Alan Arkin and John Goodman are wonderful in their cameo comic roles. The effort to recreate the period is exacting and a joy to see. OK, the scriptwriter ties the damsel to the tracks too many times to artificially heighten drama, but all in all Argo is a fun date movie that I'd recommend to just about anyone. Tags: Ben Affleck should just stay behind the camera and have some intense schlub like Philip Seymour Hoffman play this role; damn I wore pants like that too and they'd look just as stupid on me as on him if I wore them today (plus they'd be too small); Alan Arkin is a national treasure, we should bronze him when he dies and put him in a rotunda somewhere for viewing; I'm getting dizzy here and getting dizzy is usually not a good thing; that cameo by Adrienne Barbeau was a brilliant idea. November 10, 2012 at 8:42am The Artist 4.27 out of 5.00 Charming little jewel box of a movie. Very sweet and intelligent. A Douglas Fairbanks kind of movie star with an Asta-­‐like dog falls into the depths of despair with the advent of the talkies. A rising talkies star who the Fairbanks character befriended when she was a nobody still holds a crush on the washed up has been. Will love prevail? There is not a word of audible dialogue save for the last two seconds. It's all done in black and white. The physicality of the actors is marvelous. 9 There is just one charming touch after another and the references to past movies come so fast and furious that you can’t keep count. It's not a "big and important" movie, but it is a well-­‐done and delightful piece of entertainment. Extra props for the engaging soundtrack. All in all, definitely my kind of flick. December 5, 2011 at 6:56 am Tags: I want a dog like that, I want a dog like that, I want a dog like that. Attack The Block 2.36 out 5.00 I think I'm too old for alien invasion movies. Or maybe I have too many brain cells to find aliens that look like orangutans with glow in the dark teeth interesting. Either way, something just doesn't work here for me. The plot is thus: London teen gang of thugs led by someone named Moses (Vu den?) turns into good guys and tries to thwart an alien invasion. There's some fun dialog. The humor helps, but there's not enough of it. Mostly this movie consists of a lot of people trying to run away from orangutans with glowing teeth. Sometimes the people are successful. Sometimes not. The "nots" quickly turn into bloody messes. Aliens are like that I guess. I've learned something from this movie: stay away from orangutans with glowing teeth. But I think I knew that already. There was a low-­‐budget Korean movie about a monster, The Host, that critics liked a while back. If you liked that one -­‐ I thought it was awful -­‐ I'm guessing Attack The Block translated into Korean would be tailor made for you. Otherwise I'd stay away. December 22, 2011 at 10:07 pm Away We Go You rated this movie: 3.0 No one, absolutely no one, talks like the characters in this movie. That’s the bad news. The writers no doubt know this. They are probably trying to create something that is intentionally unrealistic. But if that’s so, it’s an odd thing to do, because it serves to keep the audience at a distance. The good news is that the dialogue frequently is very funny. But what makes this movie really work is the chemistry between the two lead actors, who are simply marvelous. I’d say that this movie works best as an actor’s studio kind of character study rather than as a plot driven comedy. Lots of times during this movie I just wanted to have the lead actors forget the script entirely and just work off their emotions. They have their characters down so solid and they play off each other so well that the script sometimes – with all its quirky asides – intrudes into the emotional warmth of the film. If you like great comedic acting, this movie is worth a view. If you want a good story, this movie comes up short. You wrote this on 2009-­‐11-­‐04 Babies You rated this movie: 2.0 10 OK, there are a bunch of babies that a troupe of filmmakers took tons of footage of from pre-­‐birth to the point where they start walking. The babies are cute, sure. The filmmakers have culled 80 minutes of the cutest footage. At about the 30-­‐minute mark – which is when they show a baby obviously having a bowel movement – I thought, that’s it, I’ve seen enough cute baby footage for the day if not the month. All in all, this would make a great Youtube video. But a movie? Nope. This one is strictly for those who are baby crazy. You wrote this on 2010-­‐10-­‐28 Barney’s Version You rated this movie: 4.0 Is this a great movie? No. It goes on for too long and the narrative seems dated, like something written in the 1960s. But all in all it’s a charming yarn, well told, about 40 years of a garrulous, hockey loving, Jewish, Montreal man’s life. It is essentially the life – embellished and twisted slightly – of the novelist Mordecai Richler, who over his career essentially wrote the same novel about four times (this movie is based on his last novel). The performances here are stellar. I knew men like Mordecai Richler (sadly, they’ve all gone on to that great deli in the sky) and Giamatti is spot on. His interactions with Dustin Hoffman are movie gold. Minnie Driver chews up the scenery as well. If you’re Jewish and of a certain age, you’ll probably like this movie and find quite a few laughs. If you’re a gentile or a gen-­‐xer (or younger), you might, instead, yawn through the whole thing. You wrote this on 2010-­‐11-­‐28 Beasts of the Southern Wild 3.99 out of 5.00 Some movies come from such out of the way places and cultures that they jolt. If the filmmaking is raw, so much the better. The New Zealand film Once We Were Warriors was like that and Beasts of the Southern Wild has a very similar mien. But in contrast to the harsh real world of Warriors, in Beasts there is magical realism; we look at the world through the eyes of a five year-­‐old girl on a remote island, The Bathtub, off the coast of Louisiana. The female lead has to be top-­‐notch for this folklore filled tale to work and the crew of this low budget film managed to find a girl who is flat-­‐out mesmerizing. Not all the elements work here. The director/writer seems to be a little too in awe of the culture he is filming to give the audience consistent distance. But overall the story -­‐ a mix of Greek tragedy and Where The Wild Things Are -­‐ hangs together well. More often than not the scenes are entirely captivating and you can't help but be wowed. Tags: I want to be cohesive, too, which means I need to start eating chicken biscuits ASAP; if you show a tattoo of an aurochs in the first act...; fried alligator just doesn't sound appetizing, sorry; I hope the actors are drinking fake hooch otherwise they are drinking up the budget of this thing and then some. September 8, 2012 at 10:08 am Beginners 11 3.61 out of 5.00 Absolutely adorable Jack Russell Terrier? Check. Pretty French actress? Check. Cute touches (such as showing the dog thinking by using subtitles)? Check. This movie should have had me at woof. Then there is the plot. A son deals with the fallout from his father declaring himself gay at the age of 75. That's a good plot device, I think. But this fictionalized memoir doesn't quite make it as a whole. The lead character, the son, is a one-­‐note sad sack through almost all the movie. His relationship with his girlfriend descends into bathos more often than not. Finally, the script has an unliterary quality, although the dialogue is mostly snappy and fun. What makes this movie interesting is Christopher Plummer, who does a splendid and subtle job bringing life to the father character. Plummer is one of those rare actors who can play kings without resorting to bombast. Here, the "king" is a retired art museum director. Plummer consistently rises above the pedestrian nature of this flick. Tags: I've got to lay off movies with Jack Russell Terriers (two in two weeks so far) for a bit otherwise I'm going to end up getting one; if I were a girl and I walked into an apartment like the lead has here, I'd turn around and run; why does anyone like Miranda July movies anyway? December 11, 2011 at 7:07 am Being Elmo 4.29 out of 5.00 Definite Stu kind of movie. It’s a straight-­‐ahead documentary about Muppeteer and Elmo creator Kevin Clash. There's nothing fancy here film-­‐wise, nothing at all pretentious, just a lot of talking heads and old photos that tell a story. But even though the approach here is rudimentary and by the numbers, the story is delightful. The theme here is all about pursuing your passion. Kevin Clash's passion from an early age was puppetry. He created puppets -­‐ the first one by cutting up his father's trench coat -­‐ and gave life to dozens of them in his teens. He'd watch Sesame Street with his eyes right up against the screen trying to figure out how to make invisible seams. By the time he was eighteen, he was working on network TV. It's hard to make a movie this sweet without being ridiculously sappy, but somehow this documentary never crosses that line. It's just plain wonderful and inspirational. April 13, 2012 at 7:20 am Bernie 3.93 out of 5.00 Bernie is a low budget charmer of a black comedy based on a bizarre and true East Texas story from the 1990s. A new funeral director comes into a small town, charms the hell out of everyone with his generosity, and eventually murders a rich harridan that everyone in town abhors. Shot like a dramatized documentary, much of the dialogue consists of real conversations with local townspeople, who operate more as a Greek chorus full of East Texas wisdom (some of which is funny as hell) than as talking heads. I'd say this movie is almost right up there with Fargo and Melvin and Howard in its ability to capture a slice of American regionalism on film. 12 The narrative approach is traditional to the point of blandness, but the story takes more than a few twists. The acting by Jack Black (surprisingly restrained and polished) and Shirley MacLaine is flat out wonderful. Tags: East Texas has never looked so beautiful; the Haden sisters sound great, but they're from LA and there are some wonderful East Texas singers out there that should have been given some soundtrack minutes; I'm certain that this is the first time I've seen someone lick their tie in a movie. May 21, 2012 at 6:01 am The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 3.02 out of 5.00 Way, way, way too pat. Marigold is British TV fare. Throw a bunch of older actors with great chops together, give them each an obvious role that they can add nuance to because they are talented, add the exoticism of a foreign country and a pretty ingénue, and see what happens. Every plot twist is telegraphed. The dialogue is overheated. The film work is rudimentary and the script is so monologue heavy that it makes the movie very stage-­‐like and static. That all said, the acting is first-­‐rate and every once in a while a zinger makes you laugh so it’s not a total waste of time. I’d call this a horrible date movie because it’s so wan. Marigold is ultimately a great go out with the in-­‐laws movie. There aren’t too many of those, so it occupies a small but interesting niche. Tags: OK, why is it that the only old person in this movie who dies is gay; why must he be the tragic figure incapable of turning around his life; OK, that’s monologue number ten at least, I expect someone to start quoting Hamlet soon. October 21, 2012 at 7:59am Beaufort You rated this movie: 5.0 Without a doubt this is one of the best movies I will see this year. Take Hurt Locker (and the director of Hurt Locker undoubtedly saw and borrowed from Beaufort), add sharper dialogue, remove some cliches, maintain realism and you get this. Beaufort is a gritty, realistic look at modern war, which often is mired in ambiguity and pointlessness. There’s an old Israeli movie about the 1948 War of Independence, Hill 24 Doesn’t Answer, and in some ways Beaufort is an updating of that one. Here a group of very young men is stuck on a hill, symbolically an ancient fortress, being bombarded every day by Hezbollah. Their presence serves no purpose, they know it serves no purpose, and yet they must “soldier” on. Their interactions are emotionally both difficult to watch and captivating. You won’t find a more intelligent war movie out there. You wrote this on 2010-­‐06-­‐22 The Betsy You rated this movie: 1.0 13 Someone asked me what was the worst movie I’d ever seen. I didn’t hesitate. It’s this one. The Betsy is loosely based on the Ford family of car fame. Very loosely. What makes this film so bad? It’s the contrast between the all-­‐star cast – Olivier, Duvall, Jones and Down – and the story, which is absolute trash. You start watching this movie thinking that actors this good wouldn’t deign to perform in a movie with a bad script. How awful can it be? The answer? Amazingly awful. What you should know is that at the time this movie was made, Laurence Olivier was in the twilight of his years. He decided that he needed to leave some money to his kids; he took any movie that would pay him a million bucks. This was one of them. The Betsy has all kinds of improbable plot twists. The mood on the set must have been awful. The actors can’t manage to say their lines with even a smidgen of emotion. And then there is the dialogue itself. Oh lord. A third grader could have written better. Halfway through this piece of soap opera garbage, my wife turned to me with a look of pure boredom and said. I know what’s going to happen next. What? I asked. The car. What about the car? It’s going to get pregnant. My wife is funny. She really is. I love her so, so much. And she and I agree. This movie should never be seen by anyone with an IQ greater than an amoeba. You wrote this on 2010-­‐07-­‐14 Big Fan You rated this movie: 2.0 I don’t know what to make of this movie. It’s certainly not a comedy. The cinematography is rudimentary and the plot and writing have a 1960s feel. The question I have is why should I care about the lead character? He’s emotionally stunted, living a bleak life. You can feel sorry for him, but aside from pity what am I as an observer supposed to feel? There was a book from the 1960’s with a similar vibe, A Fan’s Notes by Frederick Exley. In A Fan’s Notes, the main character – like the main character in this movie, he’s a sports nut obsessed with a football player – had a working brain and insights. Here the main character is just a dope. This movie is depressing for depression’s sake. You wrote this on 2010-­‐01-­‐15 Bigger, Stronger, Faster You rated this movie: 3.0 A Michael Moore-­‐esque look at steroids and sports. The director plays a prominent role throughout the film. There are comic elements sprinkled here and there and old movie clips are used for sight gags. But ultimately, this is a serious polemic about how steroids are over-­‐regulated and their dangers are over-­‐hyped. The director puts together his case in an entertaining and convincing way. However, from my perspective as a baseball fan, he misses an important point. Steroids turned baseball into a farce with balls being hit out of the ballpark at a ridiculous rate. For the casual fan, I suppose that watching Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds crush ball after ball was exciting. For me, it wasn’t baseball anymore, but something more akin to a video game. I walked away from this film agreeing with the director’s viewpoint, but also saddened. I note that in baseball, home run production is down from the 14 McGwire/Bonds era, but continues to be well above historical averages. Players are undoubtedly still cheating. They just aren’t getting caught. You wrote this on 2009-­‐05-­‐31 Black Swan You rated this movie: 2.0 The best I can possibly say is that the Black Swan is a beautiful mess. The beauty comes from Natalie Portman who really does a magnificent job playing a crazy ballerina. The mess is the movie itself, which is often incomprehensible and just plain puerile in its depiction of what is necessary to pursue art. Every aspect of the movie aside from Portman’s performance is clumsy. There’s a tremendous amount of handheld camera work that has no real purpose and makes the viewer a little nauseated. The score – aside from Swan Lake – is so loud and over the top in its orchestration that it takes you away from the film. The dialogue is something out of a high school made play. This movie is lacks intelligence. Sometimes the scenes were so ridiculous that I found myself laughing. Did I say Portman was good? She’s the only reason to see this disaster. You wrote this on 2011-­‐01-­‐18 The Blind Side You rated this movie: 3.0 Hokey feel good film based on a true story with the truth avoided here and there to pull your heartstrings even more. There’s a cute boy, a steel magnolia mom, and a poor kid who shows a rich family what love is really about. Then there is football, too! Sandra Bullock is adequate in this role, nothing more. Tim McGraw shows he acts about as well as he sings (he does neither well). But they are both very likable. The cute boy is, in fact, adorable and saves this film. You can’t really ruin a great story like this, but this movie almost does just that. I know this movie grossed a gazillion dollars. I don’t quite understand just why. This is TV fare. Almost every emotion is trivialized. You wrote this on 2010-­‐03-­‐29 Blindsight You rated this movie: 3.0 This is an interesting look at a group of blind kids climbing a mountain, but it could have been much shorter. The conflict between the go for broke mountain climber and the nurturing teachers of the kids is set up well. Yet the film’s narrative keeps getting sideswiped by not-­‐very-­‐interesting background stories. As I watched, I kept editing on the fly, trying to make this into a better movie. This one is part “Everest” and part “Spellbound.” But it could have been, with some key edits, it’s very own movie. You wrote this on 2009-­‐05-­‐04 Borat You rated this movie: 2.0 15 Borat is a shock comedy mixed with social commentary. But it isn’t funny except for a few sight gags. Mostly it’s revolting. For example, I don’t see the purpose of the main character arriving at a dinner table after going to the restroom and asking the hostess what to do with the bag of shit in his hand. I don’t think it’s funny. I don’t think it tells us much of anything about how we live. Every once in a while, there is an event in the movie that examines, in a new way, the uglier side of life. But those events are rare. And almost always Cohen pulls his punches to keep the movie a comedy. Cohen has a gift for being ingratiating and staying in character during open-­‐ended situations. But he isn’t willing to go the distance and be a true artist with his gift. Instead, he decides to hold back and go for cheap and mostly ineffective laughs. Why is this movie so popular? It’s a social phenomenon like Blair Witch. Both are bad movies. In both cases, critics decided en masse to find something in these movies that just isn’t there. And the public went along with gusto, eager to be in on it. Cohen is a talented character actor, but his skill as a comic writer is poor. He could be a valuable social critic as well, but he’s too busy trying to make money to care about loftier goals. You wrote this on 2007-­‐04-­‐07 Bottle Shock 3.18 out of 5.00 Indie films that rise to the level of getting distribution tend to be quirky or sensitive things. You don't get much in the way of production values, but you usually don't get something bland. Bottle Shock, a dramedy about the rise of world-­‐class wines in Napa Valley, breaks that rule. It's as boring as oatmeal in the morning. The script plods along. Then there is the annoying symbolism. A father and a son literally box in a makeshift ring now and then. Oh, they don't get along. Geeze I needed that symbolism of a boxing ring, really did, thank you so much. Along the way, a little jiggle is added. People ogle when the jiggle first comes on to the scene. Then twenty minutes later the jiggle hoses down some machinery and they ogle again. A little plot twist about cloudy wine creates some phony drama. The movie is saved a bit by the occasional presence of Dennis Farina and Alan Rickman, who are so naturally gifted as actors that they can make even the most hackneyed of scripts seem sort of interesting. Tags: I've probably never bought a bottle of wine as expensive as any of the wines shown here; that checkered coat on Dennis Farina is priceless. December 6, 2011 at 5:45 am Brazil You rated this movie: 4.0 A visual comic tour de force. The idea of combining a dystopic vision of the future with absurdist comedy is brilliant. Yes, the film is too long by a half hour and the romantic part of the plot is something cooked up by a 12-­‐year-­‐old boy, but everything else clicks. The attention to detail shown in the creation of this future world borders on manic, which in this case is a good thing. Pay attention to the billboard and posters off to the side of many shots; they are funny as anything. This 16 movie is Blade Runner with a brain. Recommended for fans of Stanley Kubrick, except this movie is funnier than anything he ever did (including Dr. Strangelove). You wrote this on 2009-­‐07-­‐13 Brian Regan: Standing Up You rated this movie: 2.0 On the plus side, Regan keeps it clean. He talks about his kids a bit, but mostly he talks about the impersonal aspects of life. He seems to be an observer of trends in TV and whatnot. I don’t watch TV so a lot of his allusions went right over my head. He emphasizes popular culture and its foibles again and again. For me, there is no real heart here. And there is something antiseptic about the entire performance. Regan needs to start talking about real people and their behavior. You wrote this on 2010-­‐06-­‐14 Bridesmaids You rated this movie: 2.0 Just so you know how I feel about gross-­‐out Apatow-­‐type movies, I thought 40-­‐Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up were funny, Superbad was awful, The Hangover was a meh, and you couldn’t pay me to see a Fokkers movie. This one, Bridesmaids, is, I guess, novel because it has a group of women doing disgusting things instead of men. Who cares, really? It’s either funny or not. Bridesmaids is a lot like The Hangover except it doesn’t have a decent premise and there are no funny cameo roles (they should have found a way to have Oprah do a funny bit; after all, a lot of this was filmed in Chicago). Like The Hangover, an unlikely group of friends who don’t have much chemistry on screen do a lot of stupid things. The dialogue is painfully bad, but I’m guessing that’s because most people are doing improv. There’s farting, defecation and vomiting humor. Hah, hah, hah. The Milwaukee scenes are authentic (I was born there). Kristin Wiig is naturally funny. But this one is a meh-­‐minus, near awful and far too long. Also, the soundtrack is cheesy 80s junk. That was the worst decade in pop music ever; I don’t need to be reminded just how bad it was. They spent 32 mil making what amounts to a series of hit and miss improv bits. How can so much money be spent on something you normally can see live in a little club in West Hollywood? They should have given the money to charity. You wrote this on 2011-­‐05-­‐22 Brief Encounter You rated this movie: 4.0 An iconic British movie that surprisingly still holds up. Brief Encounter is a fascinating window into another world and another time. The cinematography is excellent, the acting is performed with heart, the dialogue rings true, and despite the subject of the movie – an intense love affair racked with guilt – it never turns into bathos. Noel Coward said that out of all of the plays and scripts he wrote, this was the one he thought was the best. It’s easy to see why. You wrote this on 2009-­‐10-­‐02 The Brothers Bloom 17 You rated this movie: 3.0 Many movies have overindulgent, pretentious scripts that waste wonderful acting performances. That’s what happens with this flick. The cast is fabulous, but the script is ridiculous; it skips along here and there leaving the actors to try to bring life to dull writing. Plus, and this is a personal gripe, the writer should stay away from Jewish ethnic kind of material like this because he doesn’t understand the culture at all. You wrote this on 2009-­‐10-­‐07 Buck You rated this movie: 4.0 The one knock on this movie is that it’s a bit too Oprah-­‐like in its pop-­‐psychology treatment of human emotions and hardship (the lead character even evokes Oprah one time), but all and all this is a captivating documentary about a remarkable horse trainer (a true horse whisperer) who travels the country giving seminars and demonstrations to other horse lovers. The scenery is always eye pleasing and the attendees of the seminars are sometimes as interesting as Buck himself, a man who has a real story to tell. His seminars are not only about the benefits of being kind, yet strict, to horses, but also about the benefits of being kind to other human beings. This is a very heartwarming movie. You wrote this on 2011-­‐09-­‐23 The Cabin in the Woods 4.19 out of 5.00. A lot of money was spent on making this movie look cheap. For instance, I can imagine the makeup people saying, "You want to do what? Make it look like I'm a bad makeup artist, let all the pores and wrinkles show, and give the actors skin tone that makes them look like they needed a liver transplant two years ago? You're going to ruin my career! That'll cost you extra." The screenwriter probably said, "You want me to throw a zombie in a scene and make the audience think that there is no way that zombie could be there? I won't do it unless you throw an extra 100K my way." The casting director said, "Huh? You want me to find 30 year olds and cast them as college students?" And so on. Whatever was spent on making this movie look bad was worth it. The Cabin in the Woods is a lot of pseudo-­‐retro fun. Think of those campy 1950s horror movies you saw on TV when you were ten. Then add the fact that these folks revel in making mistakes but somehow manage to play it straight, and you have this film. A combo sci/fi, fantasy and horror flick, The Cabin in the Woods provides non-­‐stop lunacy. I would be a bad person if I told you anything about the plot. I will say there are zombies. Of course, there's a lot of blood. I definitely won't tell you who gets a cameo role, but that person is perfect. This is the best horror movie I've seen in years. 18 Tags: Someone who smokes this much pot should roll a tighter joint; if you show a smoking bong in the first act how will it be used in the fifth act; it looks like they've copied the look of the control room at a nuclear power plant dial for dial; I bet most people who love the Beatles and hate the Stones also love zombies and hate vampires. June 13, 2012 at 5:28 am Cairo Time You rated this movie: 3.0 Patricia Clarkson gets a star turn in a romantic, low-­‐budget movie about an American abroad. This is the kind of role that usually Meryl Streep gets to do. It’s an old fashioned film. I could imagine this very same film being done in the 1940s with Ingrid Bergman, in the 1950s with Grace Kelly and in the 1960s with Audrey Hepburn. The woman in love is glamorous, waiting for her husband to get back to Cairo. The man in love is a friend of her husband, Egyptian born with a lot of time on his hands. Clarkson gets to wear fabulous clothes and even in the heat of Cairo always looks perfectly pressed and above it all, without even so much as a hair out of place. Siddiq is a tall and lanky hottie with a mysterious air. Curiously, there is not really much chemistry between the two on screen. They seem more like buddies than potential lovers. If you like old films like A Man and A Woman or A Brief Encounter, you might warm to this one, although I’d say it’s a cut below the best of the romance film genre. You wrote this on 2010-­‐09-­‐12 Catfish You rated this movie: 2.0 Catfish was marketed as a hip thriller/docudrama. It isn’t anything close to that. Instead it’s a tale of a naive New Yorker who falls in lust/puppy love with a girl he meets on the internet. It’s actually corny in a way. It’s also sweet. Early on you realize where this film is going. The New Yorker is going to travel to see his beloved and find out the truth. The quality of the filming is absolutely awful and I’m glad I didn’t waste the money to see all this grainy footage on a big screen. The people who marketed this film should be fined for completely false advertising. That all said, the unexpected sweetness of the film makes it kind of interesting. The overall story line is messy and basically this is an amateur project that doesn’t deserve the hype it received. It’s kind of like Blair Witch, a low budget, poorly thought out film that should never have made it to the big screen. You wrote this on 2011-­‐04-­‐23 Cedar Rapids You rated this movie: 4.0 If you’re not from the Midwest you might not enjoy this comedy. It’s about a straighter than straight arrow from Wisconsin who attends his first convention of insurance salesmen. Of course hijinks ensue during the convention, which becomes a life-­‐changing event for the main character. There are a lot of inside Midwestern jokes, the first being that Cedar Rapids, where the convention is held, is a major city. 19 Then there is the big plot device: the salesman is trying to win the Two Diamond Award for his company. Only in the Midwest would modesty prevail and cause the creation of a top award with a mere two diamonds. The lead actor, Ed Helms, is way over the top in his naivete and doesn’t seem to have any range. Helms ends up playing second banana to Sigourney Weaver, Anne Heche, and John C. Reilly, all of whom are wonderful in this low budget affair. Reilly carries this move and for what it’s worth, took the time to get a Stevens Point, Wisconsin accent down cold. While it starts out slow and is a bit too predictable and cliche in the beginning, Cedar Rapids does have a good number of belly laughs in the second half. The Children of Chabannes You rated this movie: 2.0 From 1939-­‐1942, Jewish children from many places in Europe were hidden and educated in a chateau in a tiny town, Chabannes, France. The father and uncle of the creator of this film were two of those children. Potentially, this film could be interesting and emotionally riveting, but the movie making comes up short. This is a rudimentary documentary and simply features one talking head after another mixed with some brief shots of the countryside around Chabannes. The talking heads aren’t particularly articulate, and there are so few people interviewed that after about 40 minutes of hearing vague reminiscences, the viewer (me) starts to suffer from talking head fatigue. There is little video from the time of the war, something that would have helped immensely. I just don’t think the directors created enough worthwhile footage to make a real movie. You wrote this on 2011-­‐06-­‐20 China Heavyweight 2.48 out of 5.00 I admired Yung Chang’s earlier documentary, Up The Yangtze, a ton. Somehow Chang was able to examine a big subject – the creation of the Three Gorges Dam – and use it to show contemporary Chinese inland culture in intimate and gritty detail. China Heavyweight is far less successful. The topic – boxing in China – is a small one. The interactions between the people seem stilted and constantly stifled by the presence of the camera. Here and there you’ll find glimpses where something real and true is happening. For example, there’s a scene where two boxing coaches go to a shrine for good luck before a big match. A monk looks at them quizzically, noting that he saw a boxing match once and that it seemed violent and pointless. The coaches try to relate boxing to Confucianism. The monk looks at them like they’re crazy. I agree with the monk’s assessment. Ultimately, I think you have to be a devout fan of boxing to get much out of this documentary. Tags: this looks like Appalachia; it’s not surprising that athletes with modest talent have ridiculous dreams everywhere; he’s too old to make a comeback, this isn’t going to end well; that mom wouldn’t be so nice to her kid right now if there wasn’t a camera on her. February 7, 2013 at 7:12am 20 The Class You rated this movie: 2.0 Too long and too amorphous. American movies on education usually involve the same plot: amazing teacher inspires and transforms. In contrast, this French movie has a very ordinary teacher in a class where education plays second fiddle to simply keeping students in their seats for 55 minutes. At first glance, such a premise for a movie has potential. But here it fails. The director chooses not to have a script but instead to have “situations” and see what the actors do with them. In this case, the actors are not professional – they are real students – and what they improvise is mundane. Perhaps if this movie were a good deal shorter – it’s well over two hours in length – the director could have culled the more interesting improvisations into something that was more compelling overall. But as it stands this movie is long and dull You wrote this on 2009-­‐08-­‐15 Colma: The Musical You rated this movie: 3.0 Flawed, but charming. There’s something that kept me watching this lower than low budget movie musical. It wasn’t the music, which was melodically wanting. Rather it was the story, a tale of at loose ends Asian kids (two out of three of them at any rate) living in a dead end suburb (that’s a pun for those that know about Colma) which I often drive by on my way to San Francisco. Take Three Sisters, except make them American teenagers – one of them gay and two of them male – and have them break out into song about their depressing lives and you get this. If that sounds inviting to you, then you’ll like this movie. I happen to love the Three Sisters and Chekhov so the off key notes in the singing and soap opera-­‐ish haphazard character development didn’t bother me too much. There’s enough humor and grit to make up for the deficiencies. You wrote this on 2010-­‐04-­‐28 Colombiana 1.16 out of 5.00 Cancel my plane to San Francisco. I’m in love. Not with Zoe Saldana, who plays the lead in this piece of Latino-­‐trash, but with her character, Cataleya. She’s gorgeous and intense. OK, she doesn’t talk much, but I can live with flaws. Who is perfect? If she were real, I’d drop my wife, drop everything, to be with her. She went to the best private school in NYC; I’m a firm believer in quality education. She kills people, 21 and counting when the movie begins, but she wanted to be a hit girl since she was nine or so. I admire people who pursue their passions fully. I’ve told my wife all of this. She heard me extol again and again about the allure of Cataleya while she was working on a jigsaw puzzle in the living room with her mom and sister as I watched Colombiana in the den with my brother-­‐in-­‐law. My wife, bless her heart, understands. At least I won’t have to lie and cheat to get what I want. But there is that one fundamental problem. Cataleya isn’t real. She is, in fact, an unbelievable character in a truly ridiculous, bullet filled movie. I’d either have to 21 enter the screen to be with her or she’d have to somehow pop out of the screen to be with me. Neither is going to happen. I think there was a French movie with a plot very similar to this one – a young girl is raised to be an efficient killer – called La Femme Nikita. At any rate, one of the co-­‐
writers of Colombiana, Luc Bresson, wrote and directed La Femme Nikita as well. Apparently he’s a polygot. In at least three different languages, French, Spanish and English, he can write trashy, violent flicks that conjure up the eye candy of skinny hit-­‐women. That’s not hard to do when the script for an entire movie could fit on the inside of a matchbook cover. Columbiana has just a smidgen more dialogue than The Artist. The rest of the time is filled with chase scenes and bullets flying everywhere. If you like that sort of thing, Colombiana will be worth a view. But keep your hands off Cataleya. She’s mine. Tags: I’m sure there will be at least one film school Ph.D. dissertation written about the yonic symbolism in this flick; does the fact that I wouldn’t have watched this thing for more than 43 seconds if the lead hadn’t been a hot girl, but instead had been some beefcake dude make me sexist; if cops really had computers and i.d. techniques this sophisticated we would have absolutely zero criminals on the streets; if the CIA would be this incompetent, we would have gone to war with Iraq. Tuesday, January 1, 2013 at 5:13am The Company Men You rated this movie: 3.0 The Company Men is a well-­‐meaning film, but it lacks any sort of arc and the characters are so down on their luck and low in energy that sometimes you just want to turn your head and ignore them. The movie examines the lives of three men who are affected by a corporate downsizing in our Great Recession. Their lives go sour fast after they are let go, but it all happens in a predictable and telegraphed way. The mood is muted throughout and some of the characters are so depressed, Tommy Lee Jones in particular, that they are painful to watch. On the plus side, the drama rings true and isn’t overhyped. On the minus side, the women are one-­‐
dimensional and play roles that make it seem like feminism and women’s rights never took place. The dialogue is a little on the wooden side but is passable. The quality of the cast is excellent. Overall, I’d say this movie is a little flat and is missing key elements that would make the drama compelling. You wrote this on 2010-­‐11-­‐06 The Company of Strangers 3.89 out of 5.00 This Canadian movie was released (barely) in the US as Strangers in Good Company. It’s a super low-­‐budget thing with a super simple premise. Seven elderly women take a detour from their bus ride to a conference on aging in order to see a vacation house one of them remembers from her childhood. Their bus breaks down twenty miles from any highway and somehow they have to make a life for themselves in a 22 shell of a house with no food. Very little is scripted here. The women aren’t professional actresses. Basically, they talk about their lives while they try to fish, catch frogs to eat, and gather long grass for bedding. Somehow, all this talk turns into something delightful and engrossing. I can’t tell you why because I don’t understand why. I usually hate movies like this. Maybe because these women have lived so long, they, unlike most people, have some interesting tales to tell. The Company of Strangers is kind of a mash up of the Blair Witch Project and Amour, two movies that I found absolutely unwatchable. Maybe this movie is like multiplication. Two negatives equal a positive. It’s the perfect antidote to those two movies. While not at all sentimental, it manages to mine the human ability to try to find hope and beauty despite our fears and past disappointments. Tags: it tastes just like chicken, I know; where are all the bugs; two words, Canadian Shield; I can honestly say that I never wanted to become a nun. Monday, May 6, 2013 at 6:31am Cool It You rated this movie: 3.0 This movie is as eerie in its hagiographic approach to looking at Bjorn Lomborg as is the treatment of Al Gore in An Inconvenient Truth. Neither are saints. Both Gore and Lomborg are polemicists who are not shy about slamming the other side. Both aren’t particularly logical or truthful. Al Gore sees every severe storm event as a sign of impending Armageddon. On the other hand, Bjorn Lomborg spends half this film talking about how global warming isn’t going to be that bad and the other half on a dizzying number of pie in the sky technological solutions – e.g., liposuction of CO2 in the atmosphere – to solve the global warming problem. But why go to such effort if the problem is as benign as Lomborg implies? Lomborg throws out numbers on how little we need to spend to solve global warming through geo-­‐engineering and green energy; the accuracy of those numbers is highly doubtful. I think this film is worth watching because, ignoring all the misdirection, it does suggest that the problem of global warming is enormous. Lomborg is undoubtedly correct in stating that Gore-­‐
style conservation will not solve global warming. But his techno-­‐evangelism rings hollow; we lack the will and resources to engage in his moonshot approaches that he even optimistically states will cost upwards of 100 billion dollars a year. In a lot of ways, both Gore and Lomborg fall into the same trap of assuming a we-­‐can-­‐do-­‐it naive optimism despite all evidence otherwise. I wish the problem were as simple to solve as both Gore and Lomborg want us to believe. You wrote this on 2011-­‐05-­‐03 Crazy Heart You rated this movie: 4.0 More than anything this movie works as an acting vehicle. The story isn’t much. The script is an average thing with more than a few contrivances and false notes. The only miscast part is that of Colin Farrell, who can’t get his arms around being a modern country music star (he’s Keith Urban mixed with Rue Paul). From an acting standpoint, the hardest part probably is trying to make plausible the idea that a 23 pretty young mom is going to fall for a washed up, drunk, limping 60-­‐year-­‐old country music has-­‐been. Jeff Bridges and Maggie Gyllenhaal manage to carry it off. I’ve written country music for Nashville record labels (almost successfully, but sadly, not). I probably was more curious than most about this movie. It fudges a bit on the “new country music,” making it less slick than it is. But there are nice touches that you don’t see in most movies about music. For example, Farrell actually does sing harmony in a duet although it does sound auto-­‐tuned out the ying yang. Jeff Bridges plays his part a little softer and sweeter than any star musician probably has ever been. But he does have star quality that comes across clearly. He plays a Kris Kristofferson character even better than Kris Kristofferson. He sings better than Kris, too. If you’re a Blue Stater interested in Red State life or country music, you’ll probably like this one. If you’re from the South or Southwest, all the cliches might turn you off. You wrote this on 2010-­‐05-­‐24 Crazy, Stupid Love You rated this movie: 4.0 This movie is, more or less, a 19th century French bedroom farce updated to the present day US. Unlike those old French plays, celebration of bawdiness is eschewed and sexual desire is viewed as something bad and twisted. Also, there is a lot of moralizing. Still there are a lot of fun mix ups in this movie. A loves B. B loves C. A is B’s son. B is being cuckolded by D. In the end, A, B, C, D, E, F, and G meet together in one big grand finale where all of the love triangles are exposed. There is a fair amount of careful plotting to make it all work, but in the end it’s not the script that makes this movie enjoyable – it’s just so, so – it’s the acting. The performers shine here, in particular Ryan Gosling, who plays a very critical role. Perhaps the only miscast actor is Julianne Moore, who, while a wonderful actress, is just a little too naturally cool and distant for her role as an earthy, still sexy forty something. The comic timing shown by the actors is excellent, the dialog can be funny, and the soundtrack has nice touches. Finally, the pacing is just right, slowing down through some tricky plot arcs and speeding up when detail is unnecessary or would make the audience doubt the believability of the story. This movie is better and more sophisticated than typical Judd Apatow gross out films and unlike those films, has real scripted dialogue. Crazy, Stupid, Love is a fun date movie with some hardy laughs. You wrote this on 2011-­‐08-­‐28 Dan in Real Life 2.21 out of 5.00 Americans tend to do a lousy job with bedroom farces mostly because they can’t seem to avoid including guilt. Sex is supposed to be fun in a farce, unequivocal fun. The key is not that sex with someone else’s partner is bad, but that you might get caught doing it. Once you insert guilt, you kill comedy. That’s what happens here. Steve Carell is in love with Juliette Binoche, his brother’s girlfriend. Juliette Bincoche is in love with Steve Carell. So if this movie had been done right they would have hopped into the sack in two minutes. But they don’t. Actually they don’t hop into the 24 sack for the entire movie. How can you have a bedroom farce without a bed? Never mind that there is no chemistry between Carell and Binoche. Never mind that this script tries to tie everything up with a big bow at the end. This movie is a non-­‐rom, non-­‐com. Tags: Carell thinks he’s still playing the part of the 40 Year Old Virgin; those are Stepford kids; falling off the roof isn’t funny; he doesn’t know how to play guitar and the scene requires him to do so, that’s just plain lame. January 9, 2013 at 6:45am Death To Smoochy 3.36 out of 5.00 I have a theory about what leads to box office failure in movies. It borrows from the idea that a baseball team can't have more than three ex-­‐Cubs if it wants to win the World Series. Too much "Cubness" dooms a team. Replace Cubs with indie-­‐cred and you get the same result with movies. For example, Catherine Keener is an indie movie kind of girl; Edward Norton is an indie movie kind of boy. They are both wonderful at what they do. But if you put them in a movie as co-­‐leads, you will not gross more than 10 million. The public instinctively knows that whatever your budget and whoever costars, you've made an indie art film. This brings me to Death To Smoochy. Budget? 50 million. Supporting actors? Danny DeVito and Robin Williams. So far so good. But the stars are who exactly? Catherine Keener and Edward Norton. Bring on the chords of doom. This movie will be box office poison. Death To Smoochy is almost two hours of non-­‐stop inspired misanthropic lunacy. It's far from perfect, but there are a lot of wonderful one-­‐liners. Other black comedies not as good as this one -­‐ Bad Santa for example -­‐ have done great at the box office. Why not this one? It's obvious. Too much indie cred. Tags: you seem to have a fetish for ethics is a great line; I could write a screenplay as crazy as this, for sure, and it would bomb just as badly at the box office; there are a lot of things here that are unbelievable, but the sleaziness of ice shows isn't one of them. July 10, 2012 at 6:55 am The Deep Blue Sea 2.36 out of 5.00 Rachel Weisz is a wonderful, talented actress. She really is. But like almost all English-­‐speaking actresses she can't find a decent role to save her soul. They just aren't out there in the movies today, and what plum roles do exist get automatically slurped up by Meryl Streep and Cate Blanchett (also wonderful, talented actresses). Poor Ms. Weisz. She tends to get the leftovers, which for her tend to be meaty parts in very flawed movies. So it is with The Deep Blue Sea. She gets to play a 25 dissatisfied woman from the 1950s caught between a cold rich husband and a dippy but sort of handsome lover. This kind of movie is iconic in British cinema. It was done before in 1940s and 1950s movies like Brief Encounter. In that movie, we got a Rachmaninoff piece in the background for dramatic effect. Here we get Samuel Barber. Of course there is all the guilt about infidelity from all the British movies of that era. It works in black and white. But to recreate it today seems pointless. Let's talk turkey. Why have an affair if you aren’t going to enjoy it at least a little? French movies, despite their general tendency to confuse melodrama with profundity, understand that much. But here we start off with an attempted suicide. Definitely not a Stu kind of beginning. Then we get some flashbacks to coupled nude bodies that look to be in anguish from the get-­‐go. Please. I understand the need for moralizing and profound disappointment somewhere down the line, but in a movie about two lovers there has to be a time when they are truly head over heels in love. This movie is like me eating cheesecake with a frown on my face because of the calories; if I’m going to eat cheesecake, I’m going to enjoy every morsel. I'm not going to start the movie of my life with a scale showing 430 pounds (30 stone in the British version). If you like Rachel Weisz there are some scenes that are intriguing from an acting standpoint. But overall, The Deep Blue Sea is a misguided effort, a carefully reconstructed 1950s period piece that lacks punch. Tags: All the spaces are confined, I understand the point; Ms. Weisz keeps opening and closing curtains, I get that too; lots of oil painting reds, too; did I ever mention that Rachel Weisz deserves to act in better movies? August 23, 2012 at 11:40 am The Descendants 3.39 out of 5.00 This is an odd duck of a movie. Base a screenplay on a comic novel, throw out the comedy, and what happens? You end up with a melodrama. That's what happens here. I still don't understand why they decided to throw out the comedy. In this melodrama, there's a middle-­‐aged land baron/cuckold, a wife in a coma and two difficult daughters. There are multiple plots that drive the story that I won't give away. They are sort of interesting. At least no one gets pregnant. Whew! George Clooney is miscast as the land baron. More precisely, he's asked to act, not be George Clooney, and he can't do it. The first 30 minutes of this movie are just plain trite and slow. But once all the characters are introduced, it kicks into gear. Some of the performances are excellent. The cinematography -­‐ the movie takes place in Hawaii -­‐ is truly gorgeous. The soundtrack is a lot of fun. The ending is very cute (listen to the soundtrack and identify the movie the family is watching while they are huddled under a blanket and eating ice cream). Given its location and quality, I'd give this movie the title Hawaii Three Point Four. 26 Tags. The woman who plays the wife in a coma probably didn't need a dialogue coach; Beau Bridges, I haven't seen you in a movie in forever and you look great with long hair; Keanu Reeves would have played the stoner kid 25 years ago; Mr. Clooney, if you knit your eyebrows one more time, I'm throwing my popcorn at the screen. December 24, 2011 at 8:24 am Dirty Girl 2.31 out of 5.00 Juno Temple does everything she can to make this movie worth watching. I imagine that I'll be seeing her in a lot of movies over the next decade or so. But aside from Temple's performance, this movie is a disaster. Dirty Girl was shown on all of about 10 screens early this year (somehow including one walking distance from my house). It was also advance screened to SAG/Grammy members around the country in December as part of the Weinstein Company's Oscar movie push. I don't understand why. I don't even understand how movies like this get financed. It probably cost about three million dollars to make and was written and directed by someone with zero for a track record. The script is awful, as are the visuals. Dirty Girl is a completely unbelievable, mawkish coming of age movie. I could go on and on describing just why it's awful, but there's no point in doing that. I felt sorry for the actors, who are all very capable, especially Ms. Temple. Tags: If you drive like that, you are going to crash; it used to be that people smoking in movies were cool, now they're the lowest of the low; why does Dwight Yoakam consistently allow himself to look like the ugliest man in America just to get in a movie? March 19, 2012 at 5:49 am Drag Me To Hell 3.95 out of 5.00 Sometimes a movie is as good or better than its catchy title and that's the case here. Drag Me To Hell is a joyride of a horror flick, intentionally over the top and campy. Yet it succeeds in being truly scary at times. The plot here is basically, button, button, who's got the button. A gypsy places a death curse on a coat button. The person who possesses that button has three days to either give it to someone else or be dragged to hell. In this case, the button holder is as cute as a button (sorrrrry), a loan officer. In a misguided effort to get ahead, she ignores her considerable heart and denies the gypsy a third extension on her home mortgage payment. This movie is old fashioned at its core, although the special effects are very state of the art (plus 0.23 points for the bonus at the end of the DVD that shows how many of the stunts were done and special effects were made). The script isn't much, but the plot has a few good twists. Some of the visuals frightened me so much that I closed my eyes and turned my head away from the screen. Drag Me To Hell is great fun for moviegoers who watched 1950s horror movies on the TV when they were kids. 27 Tags: the lead actress earned every penny in this flick and probably was sore for a good month after they finished shooting; the little homage to The Fly was a nice touch as are all the Audrey Hepburn-­‐esque dress and coat changes for the lead; San Marino is not Pasadena. May 2, 2012 at 8:19 pm Drive You rated this movie: 2.0 Drive starts out as a very spare noir-­‐crime film. There’s a girl, there’s a guy – who earns his living as a getaway driver – in trouble and there is a lot of seedy scenery. Unbelievably, the movie is transformed into a “thriller” when the guy in trouble develops almost superhuman powers to save the girl. The dialog is terse and people mostly just look at each other with their mouths closed. The soundtrack is also minimalist except for the intrusion of a couple of overproduced pop songs. The plot is incomprehensible. There is a tremendous amount of blood. On the plus side, the visuals of LA can be stunning on the big screen and Ryan Gosling, who is a wonderful actor, tries his best to save this film. He can’t do it. Drive is a mess. If you’re a twenty something who doesn’t read books and loves superhero comics, you might love this movie. If you’re over 40 stay away. As an aside, I went to see this movie mostly because relatives told me that I look, talk and act like Albert Brooks, who plays a key role in this film. I do, it’s true. But neither he nor I are capable of playing mobsters convincingly. You wrote this on 2011-­‐09-­‐24 East West 3.78 out of 5.00 One of the crueler and more twisted things that Stalin did during his reign of terror was to invite Westerners with communist sympathies to live in the Soviet Union. When they came, however, the odds were that they would be imprisoned as imperialist spies. Many died in gulags. The inhumane treatment of Western immigrants to the USSR drives the plot of East West. A group of French citizens immigrates. Only one family manages to avoid instant imprisonment, a young couple with a child. Quickly they realize that life in the USSR will be rife with poverty and absent of basic freedoms. They want to go back to France, but to return home requires an elaborate Herculean effort. Will they succeed? East West crosses over to melodrama at times, but the major elements of the story are so strong and gripping that the cheap operatic flourishes don't take away too much. For those who find this story unbelievable, I invite them to read some Soviet history. The acting here is wonderful. The cinematography is gorgeous. December 3, 2011 at 8:16 am Easy A You rated this movie: 2.0 A John Hughes kind of teen-­‐age comedy that’s completely unbelievable. There are no American high schools like the one depicted here. There are no teenage girls – a kind of Juno except smarter and even more resilient and willful – like the main character, 28 Olive. No one talks like Olive’s parents either. Every once in a while something funny does happen, but generally, the comedy is pretty lame. This is really a standout cast, but unfortunately the movie wastes their talent. Then there are the holes – huge ones – in the plot, such as it is. Maybe if you’re a teen this movie will work as a light piece of comic fantasy. But if you’re over 25, I think you’ll be bored. You wrote this on 2011-­‐01-­‐20 Every Little Step You rated this movie: 4.0 There’s a picture within a picture effect with this movie. It’s a sweet little engaging documentary about auditions to be in a revival of a show that’s about auditions, A Chorus Line. There’s also a lot of looking back at the original A Chorus Line. The original musical was kind of like the first reality TV show. It was a polished version of people’s deep emotions. Here we get things a little rawer, since we see the actual performer’s lives, with modest filtering, on the screen. What makes this movie more interesting than most stories about the musical theater is that because A Chorus Line is a dance musical, we get a lot of wonderful dance sequences along the way. The physicality of the dancing breaks up the tendency to focus on talking heads. Plus the effort to look back at the original musical is done very sweetly. I’d recommend this film if you’re interested in musical theater and dance. It’s probably true that it’s a bit esoteric for a general audience. You wrote this on 2010-­‐02-­‐12 Exit Through the Gift Shop You rated this movie: 3.0 We watched this one on April Fools day. It’s fun and quirky, a pseudo-­‐documentary whose heavy handed message is redeemed by a marvelous performance by Thierry Guetta. Shepard Fairey lays it on thick as a put upon pure artist. Some of this story is undoubtedly true. Probably most of it isn’t. In the end, the real and the fake blend together nicely. I wouldn’t call this an intelligent movie – it’s kind of a warmed over Werner Herzog – but it does have its fun gags. You wrote this on 2011-­‐04-­‐02 Everything Must Go You rated this movie: 2.0 Everything Must Go is well meaning and well acted, but the script is a dog. The source for this movie is a Raymond Carver short story (very short, about 1000 words), Why Don’t You Dance. That story is a little gem. A man sets up everything he owns on his front lawn just like it once was inside. A young couple assumes he’s having a garage sale and starts to offer money for his things. The young couple drinks with the man, who obviously is an alcoholic. They dance to the music on the man’s record player. That’s it. Story over. In the movie this spare story is expanded into a morality tale. The man hits rock bottom. His marriage is over. His job is gone. Now he must recover and redeem himself. Yeesh. Talk about not leaving well enough alone. Some of the dialogue is so awful it’ll make you wince. On the plus side, Will Ferrell does a fine job, as do Rebecca Hall and Laura Dern. There are also some 29 funny asides that involve physical comedy. But all and all, Raymond Carver is rolling over in his grave. This isn’t a very smart movie. You wrote this on 2011-­‐10-­‐01 Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close 2.08 out of 5.00 My mother-­‐in-­‐law picked this movie. I will not say a bad thing about my mother-­‐in-­‐
law. Never. She's a wonderful lady. She created the greatest woman in the world. How can I say a bad thing about her? OK, OK, she has horrible taste in movies. There I said it. But, I forgive her for that, I really do. That's her only flaw, honest. Bad books can make good movies it's true. Extremely Loud was a bad book. It probably would have never been published had not the author, Jonathan Foer, done something wonderful with his first book, Everything Is Illuminated. As a book Extremely Loud was pretentious, overbearing, and tedious. The makers of this movie have taken all that and then covered it with gobs of corn syrup. Extremely Loud is nonsense. This movie is offensive on a number of levels, the biggest one being that it turns 9/11 into a pretty little present complete with a beautiful rainbow colored bow. There were no pretty little presents from 9/11. It was a tragedy. Thousands died. People didn't live happily ever after. Troubled sons didn't bond extra tight and cozy with their mothers because of 9/11. Grandparents didn't renew love lost for decades. Ugh. Tags: a big budget and a soaring score don't always lead to failure; why don't they make movies (and books) about kids who aren't super smart or super cute; they've turned NYC into some sanitized thing that I don't recognize; Max von Sydow is supposed to be a complex tragic figure, but somehow they've made him seem like Senor Wences. July 16, 2012 at 6:18 am Un Air De Famille (Family Resemblances) 3.63 out of 5.00 Very solid French black comedy centered around a family birthday dinner. Theatrical and chatty, it's probably true that this would be more entertaining if seen in its stage version (although I'd need Supertitles for that!). There's very little done to take this play and make it cinematic, and that's probably a good thing. There was a Broadway play from years ago, Gemini, with which this movie shares more than a passing resemblance. Un Air De Famille is a little darker and more acid than most family dinner comedies (Moonstruck, for example, is far sweeter). The characters aren't deep, but their interactions hit home again and again. This one is for fans of movies like Big Night. 30 Tags: In the theatrical version, I'm guessing they didn't have a real dog; I didn't know you could get so sloshed drinking Suzes (learn something every day); Catherine Frot has a face meant for comedy (in a good way). May 22, 2012 at 6:22 am Fast, Cheap & Out of Control You rated this movie: 3.0 The four portraits of the individuals – all of them very creative and very eccentric – contained in this documentary are inherently interesting. But what is done to try to sew these portraits together is distracting. There is a lot of fast cutting between interviews and stock footage of circuses and whatnot that make the viewer (me) physically queasy and dizzy. Then there is the music, which tends to follow the disturbing frenetic style of the old Hitchcock movie Psycho. All of this adds pretentiousness, hipness and unpleasantness to what is otherwise a perfectly watchable and intriguing documentary. I would have liked this movie a lot more had the director not chosen to be so neurotic and quirky. You wrote this on 2011-­‐05-­‐30 50/50 2.50 out of 5.00 I don't know what it says about me that I don't like a "young man beats cancer" movie. You'd think I was a cold heartless s.o.b. But, but, but I think the truth is that I don't like Seth Rogen movies no matter what, even when they have a "young man beats cancer" plot. I must really dislike Seth Rogen. I'm not a cold-­‐hearted s.o.b., honest. 50/50 is poorly scripted and poorly plotted. It's inoffensive TV fare with some F-­‐
bombs and sex scenes thrown in. Angelica Huston's talent is wasted. Anna Kendrick can't do comedy or has a horrible role or both (I think it's both). Joseph Gordon-­‐Levitt's flat delivery and Gumby-­‐like face make it hard for him to carry a movie although he can be a fun supporting actor. Then there is Seth Rogen, who has to be the laziest actor in America. He's awful. Terrible. But I'm not so heartless to hope that he should get cancer and die. I just want him to disappear from the movies forever and, I dunno, spend his time on the celebrity-­‐benefit golf circuit. The music score and background songs are such a mix of vanilla and awful (rule number one is that singers in background music should never sing off-­‐key) that they may be even more grating than Seth Rogen. Tags: Did I say just how much I don't like Seth Rogen? I forgot just how good Angelica Huston is, how could I do that? Bryce Dallas Howard looks so much like her dad that I almost started to whistle the Andy Griffith Show theme song when she came on the screen. Movie gets plus 0.01 points for people buying, reading and writing notes in books. January 28, 2012 at 6:27 am 31 The Fighter You rated this movie: 3.0 The script here is junk, a Hollywood stretching of truth and pulling of heartstrings in an effort to make the movie a real life Rocky clone. There are cliches, visual and verbal, every other minute. But then there is the acting, which is fabulous and makes this film well worth watching. Christian Bale, Melissa Leo, and Amy Adams are jaw-­‐
droppingly good in their roles. The director gives all of them enough time to show off their chops. Although this is a boxing movie, there isn’t a whole lot of violence and blood, and there are nice comic touches to keep things from getting too ponderous. You wrote this on 2011-­‐05-­‐01 First Position 3.53 out of 5.00 Cute kids with loads of talent dance in a competition. That's First Position, a documentary, in a nutshell. There are probably too many kids profiled to make for a compelling drama and the director does one heartstring pull too many, but then there are the kids. They are truly uplifting to watch. They perform with incredible elan and grace. Plus there is a comic element involving the brother of one of the kids that keeps the movie from getting too treacly. This movie leaves you with a glow about the delightful abundance of passion and creativity in our world. Tags: all the screaming and slapping remind me of Orthodox cheder; that one is cute, wait that one is even cuter, wait that one is even cuter still; feet aren't made to do that, it's true; no you are not normal, but you are delightful. Saturday, November 17, 2012 at 11:18am (500) Days of Summer You rated this movie: 2.0 The script is painfully trite. The cinematography is painfully predictable. It’s almost as if they gave a bunch of precocious eighth graders a few million dollars and said make a movie. I kept watching – they’re in love and wow they go through a tunnel of love; they’re not in love and wow it’s raining – and thinking oh my, this is one long cliche. What saves this movie from complete boredom is the acting. The lines they have to recite are complete bathos, but these actors are excellent at finding some way to change their rhythms of speech to make this movie somewhat worth watching. The leads know what they are doing. But the creators of this movie don’t understand the human heart worth beans. To be fair, it’s very hard to do romantic comedy. Usually it’s forced and unbelievable. This one is forced, unbelievable and just plain infantile. You wrote this on 2010-­‐03-­‐06 The Flat 3.97 out of 5.00 Super-­‐low-­‐budget documentary gem about nostalgia, homeland, and the power of discovery. An Israeli filmmaker’s grandmother, someone who a friend of the 32 grandmother describes as German in her soul, dies. While cleaning out the grandmother’s flat in Tel Aviv, the filmmaker and his mother find old publications about and letters from an SS officer and his wife. The filmmaker tries to find out just why his grandmother was communicating with a former SS officer. He not only uncovers an interesting past, but also finds out how living with our past sometimes requires airbrushing to maintain our sanity and a life-­‐affirming world view. In the American version of this thing, the filmmaker narrates in English. Tags: there’s so much denial here on both sides that I’m wondering whether rational thought is ever even necessary; plus 0.13 points for the music, which is unusually good for a doc; half of the ten kids now live in the US, talk about brain drain; I’d like to say that this family is uniquely uncurious about its past, but I’d be lying; this grandmother is a first rate pack rat; this guy and his mother are sweet together; no one does read Goethe and Shakespeare anymore, it’s true; so that’s what a German-­‐
Hebrew accent sounds like; the slang word for a German in Hebrew comes from the slang in Yiddish, who knew? March 16, 2013 at 7:45am Flight 4.03 out of 5.00 Flight is an old fashioned movie in almost every way. Frame for frame it could have been made in 1948 starring Humphrey Bogart. In 1968 it could have starred Jack Lemmon. In 1978 it could have starred Gene Hackman. Those iconic actors would have all chewed up the scenery. I doubt any of them would have been able to do quite what Denzel Washington does so brilliantly here, play a functioning drunk in such an understated and convincing manner. I haven’t seen a performance like this in forever. There is one fundamental way in which Flight isn’t old fashioned: its use of special effects. Robert Zemeckis knows how to make intelligent action movies, and the first 30 minutes of Flight are so “you are there” realistic that if you’re in a movie theater with airplane-­‐like seats, you’ll pause at least three times before you get on your next plane. The script here isn’t the best – like old Humphrey Bogart movies, it’s full of cliches and a-­‐great-­‐miracle-­‐happened-­‐here moments – but it is serviceable and some of the dialogue shines. Just about everything else including the love interest role by Kelly Reilly is spot on. Don Cheadle is excellent as always. Ultimately though, this is Denzel Washington’s film. I tried to think of an actor today other than Washington who could have carried this load. I came up blank. Tags: Now I wonder why no real name airline wanted its logo featured in this movie, but all the alcohol companies didn’t mind; John Goodman would make an excellent pharmacist; if I can get an extra role as a doctor in an operating room, complete with surgical mask, my life will be complete; I won’t drink to excess, I won’t drink to excess, I won’t drink to excess, but I will need a drink next time I get on a plane. December 2, 2012 at 6:39am Flock of Dodos You rated this movie: 3.0 33 If you aren’t a scientist or someone already interested in the battle between intelligent design types and scientists on the topic of biology instruction in public schools, this movie likely will bore you. It’s a more than a bit dry and nerdy. But if you are a scientist or someone who understands that evolution is a robust and well-­‐
tested theory, this film will provide insight as to why intelligent design has made political headway even though it has no scientific basis. The interviews with both the creationists and the scientists are off and on interesting. The cartoon asides are a distraction. This isn’t a well-­‐made film, but it has significant educational value. You wrote this on 2010-­‐01-­‐20 Flying Down to Rio You rated this movie: 2.0 They say they don’t make movies like they used to. In this case, that’s a good thing. This movie is a mess. The story line goes everywhere and nowhere. This is sort of a screwball comedy, but really it’s just screwed up. The leads, Gene Raymond and Delores Del Rio, are stiffs. I’ll give this movie an extra star because of Astaire and Rogers, who are fun in their sidekick roles and dance a bit, too. If they would have danced more, I would have given Rio three stars. I’d only recommend this movie to plane buffs; there are a lot of scenes with wonderful old planes flying around. Don’t like planes? Don’t watch this movie. You wrote this on 2010-­‐05-­‐06 Food, Inc. You rated this movie: 4.0 The approach in the movie is a bit scattershot, but Food, Inc. does get its points across, more or less. I think it would have been far better to focus on one aspect of the impact of corporate control on the quality and cost of our food. For me, the key issue is that the government provides so many subsidies to farmers to grow corn that we’ve created a topsy-­‐turvy world where the food that is unhealthy for America – loaded with sugar and starch – is what is cheapest to the consumer. There are all kinds of financial incentives to eat the kind of food that promotes obesity and diabetes. I wish the moviemakers had focused on this one issue. That said, overall the movie is well made, and clearly more money was put into this movie than most documentaries. It lifts the veil on the food we eat. What you see in this movie likely will change the way you eat for the better. You wrote this on 2009-­‐11-­‐23 Footnote 2.43 out of 5.00 A chatty, satiric, academic-­‐themed, Israeli movie which won lots of prizes (including the best screenplay award at Cannes), Footnote should have been a slam-­‐dunk like for me. But I found it tedious. Footnote does have a fun premise. A father of minor scholarly achievement is, due to a clerical error, awarded a major academic prize intended for his superstar son. The tension and jealousy between the two academics have been visible to all for decades. What will happen when the son learns of the switcheroo? Director/writer Joseph Cedar -­‐ whose last film was the 34 riveting war story Beaufort -­‐ understands academic culture well. But for me the satiric touches used here are wooden. The father -­‐ acerbic and ascetic -­‐ is more like a Buckingham Palace guard than a real human being. The son is a standard issue egotistical professor and it's hard to make someone so unlikable funny. Footnote is as slow as the traffic on the Ayalon Highway at four PM and it doesn't help that you can figure out the big plot twist about thirty minutes before it happens. As the credits rolled by, my wife expressed amazement that Footnote got a boatload of positive reviews from major movie critics. Me too. Tags: this score, a mix of fake Tchaikovsky and Holst, is annoying; hey, I’ve walked those very steps and brushed against the same trees; how can a movie with so much dialogue also seem so quiet and empty; I’m guessing the director adores the movie Weekend at Bernies. August 11, 2012 at 5:52 am Forbidden Lie$ You rated this movie: 4.0 I’ve never seen a better real life portrait of a con artist. Norma Khouri, the subject of this documentary, is a captivating sociopath who has managed to invent so many tales about her life that you have to wonder if she knows the difference between her personal truth and fiction. What a life she’s led: stealing money from old ladies, writing a bestseller where she fabricates a story about an honor killing of a best friend in Jordan, and making life miserable for her father and husband. Now we see her try to con a filmmaker into believing all of her lies have some kernel of truth. It’s fascinating to see Ms. Khouri at work for 100 minutes even if you’d never want to meet her in person. You wrote this on 2011-­‐03-­‐19 Frost/Nixon You rated this movie: 4.0 Ron Howard is excellent at making simple, straight ahead movies like this. The principals choose not to mimic Nixon and Frost, but rather try to convey their emotional state. Nixon wasn’t as regal as Langella and Frost isn’t really the playboy Sheen makes him out to be. I think that this was the right approach given that you can watch the actual debate and see the real Nixon and Frost anytime. This really is a theater piece, though. It’s a verbal and emotional boxing match between two people trying to regain their former luster through the use of the media. Some of the emotional impact of this battle is lost by taking it from the stage and putting it on the screen. But overall, this is a well-­‐scripted, tight drama about the most complex and flawed president of my lifetime. You wrote this on 2009-­‐06-­‐02 Frozen River You rated this movie: 4.0 Really a fine indie, slice of life film about what it’s like to be down on your luck. The people here aren’t sanitized like you find in Hollywood movies. The lead actress isn’t 35 afraid to look bad without makeup and her desperation is palpable. The interplay between her and her son and her partner in crime evolve over time in a very realistic way. No, this isn’t a date movie, but it is a well-­‐told yarn with some real grit. You wrote this on 2009-­‐05-­‐04 GasLand You rated this movie: 2.0 This movie is well done for what it is, agitprop that glosses over details to rail against hydro-­‐fracking. But because the director and creator isn’t well versed in science, he misses a lot of key points about the real environmental hazards associated with gas drilling. He is obsessed with “fracking” and how bad it must be. But his data are sketchy at best and a lot of people he interviews to “prove” his point seem like they are just plain crazy. When the director has people claim that fracking is causing brain tumors and pancreatic cancer, you just have to shake your head. Also, and this is really unconscionable, the director keeps showing water being lit on fire as “proof” of the deleterious effects of fracking. What he doesn’t say is that the gas in those water supplies wasn’t the result of fracking. It’s biogenic methane. That’s dishonest filmmaking. The director needed to take some classes in science before he undertook this film project. If you’re a rabid environmentalist, you’ll love this film. If you know about drilling for gas and oil, you’ll think that the director wasted an opportunity and let his hysteria get in the way of a good story. You wrote this on 2011-­‐09-­‐05 Get Him To The Greek You rated this movie: 3.27 One day Judd Apatow will be tried in an international court of law for killing movie comedy. Charlie Chaplin, Groucho Marx, Bob Hope and Woody Allen will go up to the witness stand and dissect his crimes against comic humanity: his scripts that fail to produce memorable lines, his reliance on vomit (huge chunks of it are apparently funnier than small ones) and diarrhea, his constant reshooting of improv scenes (because none of his actors is particularly good at it) in order to find something sort of funny. He will be sentenced to comedy hell and have to endure an eternity of whoopee cushions and pies in the face. In the meantime, we have comedies like Get Him To The Greek. It’s about as good as a Judd Apatow comedy gets. Get Him To The Greek is a buddy/road movie carried by the charming performance of Jonah Hill. I don’t quite know how he does it, but somehow even though he can’t recite a script line worth a damn, Hill is pretty funny. He’s a big fat, incoherent version of Bob Hope, one that has smoked too much dope and eaten too many brownies along the way. His buddy in this comedy, Russell Brand, doesn’t quite carry his share of the load. Brand isn’t at all convincing as a rock star. He mimics the rocker Jarvis Cocker not very well, but he’s quite good at conveying the destructiveness of drug addiction. Sean Combs is surprisingly pretty good as a third banana; he’s at ease with making fun of himself. Ultimately, a comedy like this has to compete against many decades worth of great buddy/road movies, the king of the hill being The In-­‐Laws. It doesn’t come close. There will be no riots or atonal music as a result of this one. Sigh. 36 Tags: Best comedy to have a Nobel Prize winner in a cameo; Elisabeth Moss is probably the only real actor in this movie and she nails it; repeatedly saying the line “you’re funny” isn’t funny or memorable; a skinny Jonah Hill probably would be the comic equivalent of a shorn Samson You wrote this on 2011-­‐10-­‐22 Get Low You rated this movie: 4.0 A very sweet engaging film even if there are a few holes in the plot. The cinematography is absolutely wonderful, but it’s the acting here that shines. Robert Duvall picks up a Boo Radley type role forty years after he played that part in To Kill a Mockingbird and does an absolutely enchanting job. Sissy Spacek gets to play the older, wiser love interest. Bill Murray plays Bill Murray and that’s just fine with me. If you’d look at the script, you’d be tempted to say there’s not much here. But it’s all in the nuance and phrasing. These are actors who can take ordinary lines and make them come to life. Get Low is a quiet film that just gets better and better as it moves along. You wrote this on 2011-­‐03-­‐23 The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo 3.47 out of 5.00 I'm a book snob, it's true. I wouldn't touch a badly written thriller (which a few little birds have told me is the essence of the novel The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo). But when it comes to movies? I'm only a demi-­‐snob. Mostly, I want something to entertain, make me laugh, make me worry about things that go bump in the night, etc. A badly written thriller turned into a movie can work for me (just like The Godfather, a horrible book, is one of my favorite movies). That's mostly true with TGWTDT. There are two versions of this thing, one in Swedish and one from the US. I watched the US version straight through with my family and then the Swedish one alone until I got bored (this isn't the kind of story you need to see twice). The US version is, as expected, punchier, louder, and turns the heroine into a pseudo-­‐punk, Marvel Comics superhero. The Swedish version aims to be more naturalistic and the heroine is more overtly flawed. I wish I had seen the Swedish version first since it's more my style (I'd give it a 3.76). The US version is more than a bit dumber and more obvious (I'd give it a 3.18, hence my average rating of 3.47). Both have, once you decide to throw realism out the window, an engaging story. Tags: Now I know where T-­‐Mobile got the idea of having their ad girl wear leather and race around in a motorcycle; I need to work on my Swedish; now that is loud and obnoxious (the music and visuals during the opening credits of the US version); they're tying to make me feel cold with the snow and all, but if they really want to do that they should play Lara's Theme; I can't wait to see the Yiddish musical version of TGWTDT on Broadway. May 10, 2012 at 6:05 am Gone Baby Gone 37 3.76 out 5.00 Ed Harris. Ed Harris. Ed Harris. He’s the reason to see this movie. Somehow he takes an ordinary script and turns it into Shakespeare. Amy Ryan shines, but barely gets anything to work with (women get short shrift in this script). Gone Baby Gone also serves as a nice homage to the city of Boston. If I cared about endings a lot, I’d rate this one higher. The ending here is wonderful for its ambiguity. Gone Baby Gone is hard-­‐boiled cinema. The language is gruff and clipped. I actually doubt that people talk like this although in Elmore Leonard novels this kind of dialogue is fabulous to read. What’s the story? A little girl goes missing. A PI, Casey Affleck, and his girlfriend are hired to help find her. There are of course twists and misdirections in the plot galore. The story is a little creaky and the acting isn’t always the best, but Gone Baby Gone is a well-­‐done piece of fast paced entertainment with bad guys and good guys aplenty. Tags: a better soundtrack is needed here; you know this thing has to end well because the lead is too cute and squeaky clean to deal with true tragedy; no, no, no, not a masked robber, that’s just too goofy and predictable; Boston should have received an Oscar nomination for best supporting actress. May 15, 2013 at 7:20am Goodbye Solo You rated this movie: 4.0 This film never tries to do more than be about a relationship between two ordinary men, bound by loneliness, who are ultimately at cross purposes. The script is understated throughout. I have no idea how the people who put this thing together found Elvis Pressley’s old buddy Red West, but he is spot on in his part. If you tend toward TV shows and movies full of action and heightened emotion, this film will bore you. But if you like quiet stories where the arc is subtle and the emphasis is on character, this thoughtful film will impress. You wrote this on 2009-­‐09-­‐20 Gomorrah You rated this movie: 2.0 I’ve lived in Italy and if you’re Italian I’m sure this movie resonates. But this style of film, a mish mash of sketchy interwoven stories, is not what I want in a movie. Crash, Traffic, and a few others that I’ve seen as of late use this technique as well. It seems to be a new style. But I find it unsatisfying. It’s as if these films are made for someone with ADD. This one has a tremendous amount of blood as well. On the plus side, the visuals are excellent and the movie does leave you with the profound impression of just how much the Mafia controls Italy. You wrote this on 2009-­‐12-­‐10 Goon 3.71 out of 5.00 Mick LaSalle of the SF Chronicle liked this one and it’s almost always true that if he likes a movie, I will too. In fact, I may well be Mick LaSalle. If not, I’m certain that the 38 name Mick LaSalle is fake. Maybe his real name is Chaim Abramowitz and I went to cheder with him. At any rate, it’s not surprising I like this thing. Goon is a goofy parody of Rocky and Hoosiers set on ice. A sweet adopted kid with a heart of gold and the brains of a chipmunk has one talent: he knows how to use his fists. By miracle, he gets recruited to become the goon on the local minor league hockey team and finds his life’s calling. As we watch his team battle for the eighth and final playoff spot in a rag-­‐tag hockey league, we get a mix of bloody fights, sight gags, one liners and a love interest (you can tell the girl falls hard for the goon when she says “you make me not want to sleep with other guys”). Through it all Puccini arias from Turandot play in the background. It’s the mix of the innocent, the absurd, and the violent that makes this movie work, or at least work for me and Mick (and my wife, who kept watching even though she was surprised she kept watching and laughing). Liev Shreiber does a fine turn as the aging hockey goon who becomes the newbies’ foe and ultimate friend, but overall you don’t watch this movie for the acting. It’s all about the jokes. It’s also obvious that this movie is so goofy, about such obscure subject matter, and is so steeped in a mock-­‐Canadian ethos that there is no possible way for it to have an audience (aside from me, my wife and Mick LaSalle). It grossed something like 40K in its first week and was quickly forgotten. But the fact is that this movie is a lot smarter and funnier than most. All in all, it’s a close cousin to the British movie Hot Fuzz. Tags: Playing stupid may be harder than it seems at first glance; I’m guessing that’s fake snow, but it is a nice touch; you had me at the first aria; ok, they’re laying it on a bit thick, but it’s supposed to be laid on a bit thick. May 17, 2013 at 7:00am Gran Torino You rated this movie: 3.0 This movie – a star turn for a well-­‐known man’s-­‐man kind of actor playing a crotchety old guy with a heart of gold – was essentially done 15 years ago by Paul Newman (in the film Nobody’s Fool). That old film was better than this one in a lot of ways. Subtler. The emotions rang true. That said, Clint Eastwood gives life to this clunky, predictable script. OK, he hams it up a little too much, but you can tell he’s having fun. Though Eastwood is old, he can still put on a good show and surprisingly remains a very physical actor. The man must have amazing genes. You wrote this on 2009-­‐07-­‐18 Great World of Sound You rated this movie: 4.0 If you don’t like low budget, low-­‐key, serious-­‐subject films, I’d stay away from this movie. But if you like independent movies, this is definitely worth a look. The camera work is rudimentary and the actors are no people you’ve ever seen. The movie looks like it was filmed around Charlotte and put together very quickly. But the script is solid, as is the story. The lead character – a quiet, thoughtful, feckless young man – is trying to get ahead in the world, but lacks certain life skills. His 39 sidekick is a David Mamet kind of do-­‐anything-­‐to-­‐make-­‐it salesman. How these two play off each other is a delight. How they each deal with the unsavory nature of their employer and the music business is the fulcrum for this movie. Not every aspect of this movie’s plot is believable, but the interactions between the characters are always dead-­‐on and the acting is high quality throughout. Special props to the wannabe musical stars assembled for this film. You wrote this on 2011-­‐02-­‐21 The Grey 3.24 out of 5.00 A plane crash in a movie apparently isn't enough to keep audiences excited anymore. You have to add something else. In the case of The Grey that something else consists of two things: frigid Alaskan weather and hundreds of human devouring wolves. The minus forty weather somehow disappears when the characters reach a stream two thirds of the way through. The flesh desiring wolves -­‐ watch out, they'll attack anything within thirty miles of their den -­‐ seem to be more like fur covered zombies than real animals. The Grey is ridiculous in so many ways that it should be unwatchable. But it isn't. It's fairly entertaining despite the hokum. There is a movie from my childhood, The Flight of the Phoenix, that The Grey no doubt deliberately uses as a starting point. Both begin with a plane crash in the middle of nowhere. Both have a lost soul who finds himself through the test created by tragedy. In The Flight of the Phoenix it's Jimmy Stewart. In The Grey it's Liam Neeson. I happen to find both actors hard to resist. Put them in lousy movies, and I'll still find something to like. Phoenix is a bit hackneyed, but for a twelve year-­‐old boy watching it on TV (me), it was great stuff. The Grey is pure baloney and a movie very much in the modern style: it mixes terse unbelievable dialogue with tons of action sequences that rely heavily on technological wizardry. In Phoenix, the survivors talk a lot and miraculously reconstruct their airplane. In The Grey, the survivors barely talk and get picked off one by one by wolves. The Grey is essentially a not very good dystopian movie that is partially redeemed by the acting craft of Neeson and the visual craft of the director and cinematographer. Tags: I've seen that look before on a man's face, too: it's not due to ultimate existential fatigue, but rather due to having to recite hackneyed dialogue; those airplane liquor bottles are going to be plastic not glass; no way that stream should be flowing; no, the pack won't peel off to let the alpha wolf go after the alpha male of the movie (Neeson) one on one (mano a wolfo?); this movie wins the award for most close ups of Neeson's craggy face by a landslide. July 25, 2012 at 4:02 am The Guard You rated this movie: 4.0 My kind of comedy. The Guard is a tightly scripted buddy/cop movie with a fairly standard get the bad guys plot used as an excuse to create one zinger after another. There are a lot of belly laughs that play off the cultural clash between the tighter 40 than tight, Afro-­‐American FBI agent and his temporary partner, an Irish, hard drinking, outlandish, sardonic country cop. A film like this depends on good chemistry and interplay and I’m happy to say that even the bad guys have excellent comic timing in this film. The wonderful and usually serious actress Fionnula Flanagan gets to ham it up for laughs. If you like old-­‐fashioned comedies with witty banter, The Guard is a sweet night of entertainment. You wrote this on 2011-­‐08-­‐19 The Hangover You rated this movie: 3.0 Essentially this is a clone of a Judd Apatow comedy that isn’t quite as good as 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up. A group of men with zero maturity do their boy thing in Las Vegas. Unlike most comedies, the good stuff isn’t in the beginning. The first 12 minutes could have been cut easily without any loss to the film’s coherence. At about the 50-­‐minute mark, I was ready to turn off my DVD because the good jokes were far and few between. But then the movie finally starts to click. There are some real belly laughs in the second half. The key to this movie is that the character types are softened just enough – the jerk isn’t quite a complete jerk because he is optimistic, the nerd isn’t quite a complete nerd because he has kindness, the nebbish isn’t quite a nebbish because he is aware of the world – that halfway into the movie you start to like them. That said, you never understand how they can be friends. This film is far from perfect, but all in all is a decent enough Judd Apatow copycat thing. You wrote this on 2010-­‐01-­‐13 Harvard Beats Yale 29-­‐29 You rated this movie: 2.0 This is a football movie, plain and simple. The underdog ties the game at the last minute. A bunch of former players talk about the game between the highlights. There are vague references to Vietnam and the sexual revolution – Meryl Streep gets a cameo mention – but that’s not what this movie is about. If you like football/sports movies where the underdog gets a “moral victory” or if you’ve gone to Harvard or Yale this movie probably will appeal. But if your answer is no to both, then this will be a boring ESPN-­‐style look at a good football game from 40 years ago. Maybe the most interesting part of this thing is that one of the interviewed players, a friend of George W. Bush back in the day, comes across as a sociopath and a first-­‐rate jerk. It’s kind of amusing to watch him rant. You wrote this on 2010-­‐01-­‐24 Headhunters 2.63 out of 5.00 I could live in many countries in the world and be happy as a clam. But Norway? No way. It's not the food. OK, I'd pass on the lutefisk, but Norwegians have 4000 different words for herring and I love that stuff. I could get used to the statuesque Viking women, too. I'd cope somehow. But supposing I move there and fall in love with a Norwegian woman. What would we do at night when we wouldn’t be kanoodling? "La oss gå til en film (Let's go to a movie)," my love would say to me. 41 Now there's the rub. Norwegian movies are terrible, really awful. The comedies aren't funny. The dramas are tedious. At least that’s true for me. Three months in Norway and I know I'd flee. This gets me to Headhunters, which is a Norwegian combo screwball comedy and crime caper movie. The crime is art theft. Headhunters borrows a lot from American crime caper movies (especially Reservoir Dogs) with one catch. The thief isn't cool. He isn't Steve McQueen. He isn't one of Ocean's Eleven. He's a creepy, insecure, mean-­‐spirited, executive placement guy by day who steals the art of his rich clients at night and cheats on his statuesque Viking wife in the afternoons. You might not want this kind of lead character to get away with anything. You might want him caught and put behind bars. When bad things happen to him, you might think, "Good, that rat deserves it." But apparently I'm not supposed to think any of these things. I'm supposed to be sympathetic to this creep. I'm supposed to root for him because despite all his flaws, he really does love his wife. That one fact is supposed to negate all of the lead character's jerky behavior. Really? I don't get it. I don't get Norwegian culture at all. I don't like Norwegian novels, either, and don't get me started on Ibsen. I'm not moving to Norway, ever. Tags: never trust a man who lives in an outrageously cantilevered house; the company pen as a clue is a nice touch; OK, what ridiculous, unbelievable, extremely violent thing is going to happen to this guy next. September 14, 2012 at 6:11 am The Help 2.94 out of 5.00 The Help is this year's The Blind Side. The skeleton of the story told is solid, but everything else is flimsy and phony. In a lot of ways, this movie is just plain offensive. It's ultimately a sanitized view of the evils of the Jim Crow South. The characters are cartoonlike. The most evil character of the lot has more in common with the bad witch in The Wizard of Oz than any real human being. Hardly anything in this movie is believable from a human interaction point of view and the Gone With The Wind set pieces used also make it unbelievable in its depiction of the South. Schmaltzy and saccharine (with of course a happy ending) the ironic thing is that this big budget movie has a lot of similarities with chitlin’ circuit black dramas. That all said, The Help does have some fine performances, a solid music score and some amazing cinematography. Tags: Apparently every member of the Junior League in the South drove a Cadillac convertible in the 1960s; Jackson, Mississippi never, ever looked this pretty; when is Jessica Chastain going to say, "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." December 29, 2011 at 7:34 am Hiding and Seeking 42 You rated this movie: 4.0 There is a spirit of kindness and warmth present in this film that isn’t at all typical of documentaries which focus on personal examinations of the Holocaust. The narrator of this story, like me the child of survivors, is on a mission to make his Chassidic sons more aware of and charitable toward the outside world. The discoveries he and his family make while visiting Poland are a little bitter but mostly sweet. I don’t think this movie changed my views of the nature of Polish anti-­‐Semitism, but it did open my eyes to the idea that there are equally valid viewpoints that focus on the need to seek kindness wherever it can be found. For those interested in the Holocaust and its emotional effects and especially for those who are the children and grandchildren of survivors, I highly recommend this film. You wrote this on 2009-­‐12-­‐17 The History Boys You rated this movie: 4.0 Perfectly decent and droll British comedy. Eight boys, smart but rough-­‐hewn working class kids, cram with their teachers to try to get into Oxford. That’s a tall order in class-­‐conscious England. Along the way, the teachers reveal themselves emotionally to the students and the students, each different culturally and with very different personalities, bond. There are some laugh-­‐out-­‐loud bits in the script. The gay aspects are handled with respect and humor. The ensemble cast does a decent enough job although I’d say the teachers and the headmaster are far better actors than the young men. The History Boys was probably better as a play. It certainly was longer, which probably allowed for the plot to develop. Here the plot lurches more than a bit. The movie is a low budget affair, so don’t watch expecting great cinematography. But still it’s well worth a view if you like British comedies. You wrote this on 2011-­‐01-­‐08 The Hoax 3.19 out of 5.00 The Clifford Irving -­‐ Howard Hughes hoax of the 1970s is a fabulous story of guile and chutzpah in the literary world. It's not the stuff of big budget moviemaking -­‐ after all, it's about making a book, not stealing jewels or having sex with Liz Taylor -­‐ but somehow someone found financing for this movie. If you are going to make a movie about a true life con, it's probably true that rule number one is that you should play it straight. You shouldn't embellish the already wonderful embellishments. Otherwise you'll ruin a perfectly good story. That's what happens here. The script adds midnight flights to the Bahamas, Nixon cover-­‐ups, hookers and all kinds of crazy events that aren't believable. At about the hour mark, the wheels fall off. Then there is the star, Richard Gere. He's a stiff in a Gary Cooper kind of way. Gere has no con man in him and you can make a good argument that the real Clifford Irving -­‐ suave, sophisticated and telegenic in interviews -­‐ is actually a better actor than Gere. That all said, The Hoax isn't a complete bomb. Alfred Molina is fabulous as Gere's nervous sidekick. The first forty minutes or so are a good deal of fun, and aside from Gere, the cast does a splendid job. Visually, the movie is shot in a helter-­‐
skelter, but ultimately appealing way. 43 Tags: I’ve always loved the name Bebe Robozo; the word “prune” is undoubtedly used more in this movie than in any other movie in all of history; even lawyers aren’t that sinister; wait, I know that face and he isn’t an actor at all; hmmm, I wonder what kind of con I could come up with? November 28, 2012 at 6:46am Hope Springs No rating A first for Stu’s Reviews. I cannot rate this movie on a numerical scale. Not to three significant digits, not to two significant digits, not even to one significant digit. I don’t understand this movie. It might as well be in Swahili without subtitles. When I was a kid, I learned English by watching TV and hanging with my friends in the neighborhood. There was a show that was on at the time, Father Knows Best. I’d watch those WASPy people on that show, so calm and quiet. They never screamed. They never shouted for joy. No one threw pots and pans. I thought this family was from the moon. I never understood them or their concerns. That’s exactly how I feel about Hope Springs. It’s Father Knows Best, Part II. Two repressed WASPs go to couples therapy. This isn’t my culture or demographic nor is it a culture that interests me. I will say that this may be the first Meryl Streep movie I’ve seen where I think she doesn’t deserve an Oscar nomination. Tags: pass the shiksah. Thursday, December 13, 2012 at 7:57am Hopscotch 3.68 out of 5.00 Ah, Glenda Jackson and Walter Matthau, the Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy of their day. Glenda was the one who, despite her strong sense of decorum and responsibility, loved to accommodate the irascibility of Matthau. Glenda was class. Matthau was a clever and crass man who was a boy at heart. They would have witty banter. It still sounds witty in the rear view. Someone would construct an unbelievable plot for them to do their shtick. Glenda would wear chic clothes. Walter would sing opera in public places for no apparent reason. They might kiss now and then, but there was never, ever a bedroom scene. Somehow it all clicked. In Hopscotch, Jackson and Matthau are retired spies, one (Jackson) retired happily and the other (Matthau) unhappily. Matthau concocts a scheme to pay back the CIA for doing him wrong and Jackson comes along for the ride. What's best about this movie is that it's a wonderful time capsule. No computers. No cell phones. People paid cash for plane tickets. A writer could concoct better plots when there wasn't so much instant access to info and funds. If I ever write a movie, I'm going to make sure it takes place in before 1980. Hopscotch is still pretty funny. Watch this one and House Calls back to back with a ton of popcorn and a bottle of scotch (no ice) and you're good to go. Tags: Oh no, sport coats with side vents that make it look like you're wearing a flapping flag over your rear end; that's enough Mozart for one movie, really is; I 44 would have loved to have seen a romantic comedy with Glenda Jackson and William Shatner in their heyday. November 19, 2012 at 8:58am The Host You rated this movie: 1.0 Painfully dumb. A monster attacks Seoul. A family of misfits saves the city. That’s it in a nutshell, folks. What happens along the way involves dreadful movie making. First there is a virus associated with the monster. Then there isn’t. The plot is nonsensical with an ungodly number of loose threads. One constant thread is that Americans are evil father figures in Korea. The first fifteen minutes of the movie are kind of fun. The family that saves Seoul is introduced with all of their funny quirks. After those fifteen minutes, it’s all downhill. You wrote this on 2007-­‐08-­‐23 Hot Tub Time Machine You rated this movie: 1.64 You know those times when you get a DVD and in the middle of the movie you find out that it’s damaged? It’s so frustrating because you can’t get to the ending. With Hot Tub Time Machine, it would have been great if that had had happened to me. I could have popped it out of my DVD player and saved myself forty-­‐five minutes of boredom mixed with irritation. Instead I just hit fast forward at about the 40-­‐minute mark and saved myself 60 minutes of painful dialogue. I have a thing for dumb comedies. But this movie is absolutely brain dead. It’s kind of like Wizard of Oz in a way. Imagine John Cusack as Judy Garland. Imagine a hot tub as a Kansas house. Imagine shorted out electronics as a tornado. Replace Oz with a 1986 ski resort. Imagine the Tin Man, the Lion and the Scarecrow as frat boys. Throw in a lot of f-­‐
bombs and allusions to blow jobs. Voila! You have this stinker. If aliens ever get a copy of this thing they will be convinced that Earth is absent of intelligent life. Tags: John Cusack probably has never looked so bored acting in a movie; a flick that fully attests to the fact that the 80s really did have the worst pop music ever; this movie does for hot tubs what Fargo did for wood chippers. You wrote this on 2011-­‐10-­‐15 Hugo 3.47 out of 5.00 My wife looks sexy in 3-­‐D glasses. That's what I told her at the end of this movie. I have no idea whether I look sexy in them. I didn't ask. But the point is moot. I'll never wear them again. 3-­‐D is dreadful. You put on those stupid dorky glasses. The images are kind of three dimensional, but mostly they look hokey. Worse yet, the images are kind of fuzzy and the 3-­‐D gimmick takes you out of the mood to watch intelligently. Instead of getting caught up in the movie narrative, you instead look at a sort-­‐of-­‐3-­‐D image of a dog and think, "Hey that almost looks like it's in real 3-­‐D. Oh, damn, what just happened during the last three seconds?" That in a nutshell is what's wrong with Hugo. All the gadgetry gets in the way of what is a pretty damn 45 good movie. If they would have shaved 15 minutes from the narrative, spent 150 million less dollars, and shown it in 2-­‐D, this movie would have been a charmer. It would have been a lot like, but not quite as good as, Pan's Labyrinth. The plot -­‐ a weaving of a true tale of French cinema with a fictitious story of an orphan boy living in the main Paris train station -­‐ is solid. So is the acting. If only there wasn't the oongepatchked 3-­‐D thing going on. My wife really does look sexy in 3-­‐D glasses, though. I don't understand how she does it, but it's true. Tags: No, Sacha Cohen, a French policeman would never say the word "shikker"; this movie is the color of soot; so many close-­‐ups of dogs, I wonder why; the kid really does have adorable blue eyes; Ben Kingsley always plays introspective bald guys, I wonder why. November 26, 2011 at 9:52 am The Human Resources Manager 3.61 out of 5.00 This Israeli screwball dramedy grossed a grand total of 60K in US box office receipts last year, which translates into an audience of about 5000. I'm guessing that almost all of those 5000 were Israelis or people with strong ties to Israel and most of them thought this film was funny. I did too. But take 5000 average Americans to this flick and almost all of them would want to walk out after about a half hour. I doubt this movie translates well to American culture (just like a lot of American movies don't translate well overseas). That said, my wife was mildly amused most of the way and even laughed out loud a few times. She said it was way better than Bridesmaids and thought it was well scripted. Based on a novel by A.B. Yehoshua, The Human Resources Manager is a picaresque about a man seeking a proper place to bury a foreign employee who died in a suicide bombing. He travels from Israel all the way to the middle of nowhere in Romania, taking the coffin of the employee with him via plane, ancient Eastern European van, and eventually, tank. Along the way, he runs into a cast of very odd people. The comedy part of this movie -­‐ with a lot of sight gags -­‐ works pretty well. The drama part is wooden. If you are well steeped in Israeli life and like modern screwball comedies like Honeymoon in Vegas and The In-­‐Laws (I love those movies), it's worth a view. Tags: Romania looks like the bleakest place on earth, now I know why all those Romanian graduate students were so desperate to stay in the US; Mark Ivanir has one of the most simian faces in the movies. January 29, 2012 at 7:34 am The Hurt Locker You rated this movie: 4.0 This is one of the better war films made in the last few decades. It’s a gut-­‐wrenching look at the lives of three soldiers doing the most perilous of work in Iraq. Visually, 46 the movie is fabulous, giving you a “you’re right there” look at the day-­‐to-­‐day work of disarming bombs. The movie avoids most of the cliches that are typical in war epics. The dialogue is sparse and realistic. Where the film comes up a bit short is in its credibility. It deliberately overdramatizes the lives of the soldiers in an effort to heighten tension. Some of what happens simply isn’t believable. A slightly toned down, less action-­‐driven film would have been more effective. That said, overall Hurt Locker is a very good and carefully made movie, one that I highly recommend to anyone concerned about the effects of war on people’s lives. You wrote this on 2010-­‐02-­‐22 I Love You, Man You rated this movie: 3.0 Not a bad flick with quite a few funny gags. The script holds together well. Jason Segel does a nice turn as the slob in this odd couple plot. Paul Rudd is the weak link in this movie. He’s not someone really designed for a lead comedic role. Rudd is a classic second banana and putting so much weight on his character makes the film creak a bit. But all in all it’s a fun time, a good second date kind of movie. It’s innocuous and light and will make you laugh more than once or twice. You wrote this on 2009-­‐08-­‐23 The Ides of March You rated this movie: 3.12 The acting here is so good up and down that watching everyone deliver their lines is like watching a great fireworks show. But then there is the script, which is dark, cynical and would be thoroughly depressing if it were at all believable. The movie depends on a plot twist that isn’t at all supported by logic. Plus there is no way the political candidate portrayed by Clooney – who comes off as a better looking Dennis Kucinich – would be elected governor of Pennsylvania, much less be a viable presidential candidate. Watch this one for the performances – Ryan Gosling, Evan Rachel Wood, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are all on top of their game and the others aren’t far behind – and not for the story, which has a lot of holes and not one smidgen of heart. Because it’s so over the top in its darkness, this story probably would work better as a theatrical play than it does as a movie. Tags: Ms. Wood does Raleigh proud and I bet her mom and dad are getting verklempt; those close ups are so tight that I felt tempted to reach out and pick a few blackheads; rich people don’t sweat 900 dollars sorry; I will always love Marisa Tomei; this cast could recite a phone book for 90 minutes and I’d probably be captivated; Cincinnati really does look this depressing but once you get to know it it’s pretty nice honest. You wrote this on 2011-­‐10-­‐06 I Love You Phillip Morris 2.73 out of 5.00 Ewan McGregor is one fine actor. Jim Carrey isn't; he's a comedian. The mismatch in talent glares in this movie. Maybe if they would have switched roles and had 47 McGregor take the lead, I Love You Phillip Morris would have been better. As it stands, Jim Carrey hams it up and does some obvious things to sort of make him look gay, but still don't make my gaydar meter do a thing. That all said, swapping characters wouldn't have helped all that much. There would still have been problems with the script and direction. Unlike another bizarre true Texas story made into a movie, Bernie (I'm guessing there are many more bizarre true Texas stories out there just waiting to be filmed), this one doesn't lend itself to comedy. Think about it. A con man who spends most of his life in prison and has contempt for just about everyone isn't exactly haha material. But somehow the director/writers think it is. They are wrong. So in the remake of this thing ten years from now they should play it straight (bad pun I know). McGregor can play the lead, a narcissistic con man, with great sensitivity. His love interest can be, I dunno, Jeremy Renner? I think that would work. Jim Carrey can have a bit part as a fling love interest, maybe a two-­‐minute cameo. Make that a sixty-­‐second cameo. Oh hell, just take him out of the movie altogether. Tags: Somehow they've made prison look kind of sweet and homey; I swear Hollywood has forgotten how to make a decent sex scene; I know he's the lead and there are still 50 minutes to go in this thing, but please, pretty please can't Jim Carrey die in his hospital bed right now? June 12, 2012 at 7:26 am The Illusionist You rated this movie: 2.0 I thought The Triplets of Belleville was unique and delightful, but I found this latest film by Chomet, The Illusionist, to be dull. Here Chomet took a never produced Jacques Tati script and turned it into an animated feature. But take away Jacques Tati from his movies, and you’re left with bathos. That’s what happens here. A magician tries to woo a girl with fancy gifts that he can’t afford and more or less pretends that he’s capable of conjuring them up. The humor of the Tati movies is rarely present and in animation form doesn’t work. On the plus side, The Illusionist is visually beautiful. A movie needs a captivating story with fully developed characters. Neither is present here. You wrote this on 2011-­‐05-­‐15 The Imposter 1.38 out of 5.00 Not a Stu movie at all. A creepy French 20-­‐something impersonates an American teen who has been missing for four years; for some unexplained reason the teen’s family chooses to believe (or far less likely actually believes) he’s the real deal. The makers of this documentary home in on the creep’s story and leave the family’s story vague. This is dishonest documentary film making and it’s easy to see through the artifice and ham-­‐handed manipulations. The director uses a ton of cheesy 48 reenactments to flesh out the story. Documentaries shouldn’t be exploitive of the people chronicled. They should “document,” not twist and bend in order to add drama. The Imposter is unintentionally more about phony film making than it is about chronicling a bizarre story involving false identity. Tags: OK, I get it, creepy music leads to creepy things; this movie uses Errol Morris’ style for evil purposes and should be called, Cheap, Fast, and Not Very Smart. February 21, 2013 at 7:29am Inception You rated this movie: 2.0 If I were 12 years old, I’d think this movie is boffo. But I’m not. I’m an adult. And as an adult, I thought this movie was dopey and about as exciting – despite all the crashes, bullets, blood and mayhem – as watching paint dry. The dialogue is so wooden that I found myself laughing out loud. The soundtrack borrows so much from Beethoven (7th symphony), Mahler (Das Lied von der Erde), and Wagner (Die Walkure) that Hans Zimmer should be arrested for grand musical theft. If I had known you could do this, I’d have become a film composer myself! Then there are the holes in the plot. For example, the lead character, DiCaprio, will do anything for a chance to go home to the US to see his kids, who live with his parents. But the guy is wealthy. Why doesn’t he just fly them to whatever country he lives in? He has a gazillion airline miles undoubtedly; what’s he saving them for? Mix a little bit of The Matrix with that old chestnut of a movie Fantastic Voyage, and you get this sci-­‐fi hokum minus Raquel Welch’s boobs and curves. On the plus side the acting is leagues above The Matrix. DiCaprio does a good job with what he’s given, as does Gordon-­‐Levitt in his trusty sidekick role. Just like in almost all sci-­‐fi, the women are silly caricatures of real people. Christopher Nolan started out with Memento, a clever low budget psychological thriller. With Inception, he spent 200 million dollars. The result is an overblown mess that seemed far, far longer than two and a half hours in length. You wrote this on 2010-­‐07-­‐31 In Darkness 4.06 out of 5.00 It may be true that you have to know some Slavic history and culture to understand just how special this film is. Without that knowledge, In Darkness is simply a better and far less sappy version of Schindler's List. A Polish sewer mainenance man and petty thief in Lwow protects a group of Jews living in the city sewers during WWII. How he comes out of the darkness of his anti-­‐Semitism to find dignity and the ability for heroism drives the plot. The arc of the drama is a bit ruined by repetitive "how will they avoid capture this time" sequences, but the acting is excellent and the attention paid to visual historical detail is extraordinary. All the descriptions of my parents living in this part of Poland came to life; it was as if they were speaking to me as I watched. This film is bleak for the first hour, so bleak and depressing that you might want to turn it off. Don't. Add in the fact that this is the first Polish film I've ever seen that addresses Polish anti-­‐Semitism and its contribution to WWII 49 mass murder (although it pulls its punches a bit by assigning much of the blame to Ukrainians) and you have a movie that is not only a significant artistic achievement, but also a major political one. Tags: It's probably true that using color film was superfluous; all that fresh water seeping into the sewers is a bit too much symbolism for me; is it any wonder that my parents not only never wanted to visit Poland, but also were adamant about me not visiting as well? July 1, 2012 at 7:57 pm The In-­‐Laws You rated this movie: 5.0 Oh my. I saw this recently after a 20-­‐year hiatus and it still is funny as anything. In a screwball comedy like this, it’s important to have the actors play it as if everything is as normal as can be. Peter Falk and Alan Arkin are completely on their game. The script is pure Jewish shtick mixed with 30’s screwball comedy (the screenwriter wrote his dissertation on movies of the depression, a Ph.D.!). My wife and I still recite funny lines from this movie when they jibe with our real life experiences. For instance, we’ll say “it’s a Z!” as a code phrase for something so obvious that it’s funny to mention it. When a movie’s script invades your day-­‐to-­‐day life for 30 years, you know the movie is special. You wrote this on 2009-­‐05-­‐05 Inside Job You rated this movie: 4.0 Inside Job is a left-­‐wing diatribe about the banking industry and the 2008 collapse of financial markets, but it is well done and more right than wrong. For a documentary, it’s a high budget production. In plain and simple language it describes, through the use of talking heads, the boom and bust cycling we’ve created through the progressive deregulation of Wall Street. What’s telling is that time and time again, the movie is interrupted with a little flash card that tells of yet another person who refused to be interviewed for the film. The absence of key players – like Larry Summers – leaves a gaping hole in this documentary, but if I were on Wall Street or a prof in a business school, I wouldn’t have gone before the camera either. For those who followed the collapse of 2008 there is a lot that you already know; for me, the most interesting tidbit that I didn’t know was that many profs in economics departments and business schools were paid kings ransoms by Wall Street and other business interests to write reports extolling the virtues of deregulation and to lie about the health of very sick and corrupt companies. Not only has Wall Street bought Congress over the last 30 years; they’ve also bought the professorate. Inside Job swings a bit wildly and paints a far too bleak picture – you’d never know that China quickly recovered from 2008 -­‐ but it does land quite a few solid blows. I’m sure the right wing will find this movie impossible to watch, especially since they have fabricated the narrative that the collapse of 2008 was all due to Fannie Mac and Freddie Mac; but the narrative here is close to the truth. 50 You wrote this on 2011-­‐05-­‐10 The Interrupters 4.43 out 5.00 Gritty and gripping, this documentary about the efforts of the NGO CeaseFire to engage in conflict mediation shows the deadly world of urban Chicago from the inside out. We watch three "Interrupters" at work on the streets trying, sometimes successfully, sometimes not, to keep people from killing each other. All three were gang bangers back when they were young. Watching them work is like watching someone on a tight rope. You grit your teeth and hope for the best. Sometimes you can see the mediators getting through to the young angry men and women. But almost just as often, you can see that look on the young people's faces: get away from me you old fart, you don't understand a damn thing. As this documentary shows, murder is not simply an inner city gang problem, but one that also frequently involves individuals arguing over truly petty issues. Somehow our culture went from one where the young thought they were immortal to one where the young care little for the lives of their neighbors and loved ones. Death is commonplace and frequently glorified. In The Interrupters only minor victories seem possible. February 25, 2012 at 8:53 am In the Loop You rated this movie: 4.0 Everyone talks at a mile a minute in this movie, which probably has more dialogue than I’ve seen in any flick made in the last 40 years. Much of what they say is hilarious. No there isn’t much of a plot here; it’s about a bunch of political maneuvering related to a war more than vaguely like the US/UK-­‐Iraq conflict. But I didn’t really care because the dialogue was so snappy and fun. It reminded me a lot of A Fish Called Wanda that way. If you want a well-­‐plotted story heavy on “action,” ignore this movie. But if you like silly, witty, banter heavy British comedies – from the Lavender Hill Mob on up – this movie will be a lot of fun. Warning for the over-­‐
the-­‐top use of four letter words. You wrote this on 2010-­‐02-­‐06 In the Shadow of the Moon You rated this movie: 4.0 I don’t know if this movie will resonate if you’re young, but for the 45 and up crowd, this is an E ticket of a movie (look up E ticket in Google if you’re under 45). The historical footage is fabulous and I’ll knock off one star only because there are a bit too many shots of talking heads. Not only does this film recreate the magic of the first lunar landing, but it also really does invoke a time when snark wasn’t even a word. There were a lot of dark sides to the sixties, but the Apollo missions were the best of the best. If you’re an engineer, you’ll love this movie even more. The discussions with the astronauts that participated have that engineering lingo mixed with terseness that you’ll find as comfortable and warm as that sweater from your college years that you’ll never give up. Kennedy supplied the dream of the Apollo 51 missions. But engineers built the spacecrafts and engineers flew them. This movie reminds you of both those facts in a good way. You wrote this on 2010-­‐04-­‐10 The Invention of Lying 3.27 out of 5.00. Albert Brooks used to make slight, high concept comedies like this. After a while, he couldn't get funding for them anymore. The Invention of Lying is so much like an Albert Brooks comedy -­‐ a romance where the lead is a middle-­‐aged schlemiel who possesses a mix of Jewish angst and Southern California sensibility -­‐ that I was almost convinced, credits be damned, that Brooks was pulling a Woody Allen; he was writing and directing and was having someone else, Ricky Gervais, play the standard Brooks role. But no. This is a Ricky Gervais production through and through. Somehow a Brit is doing Jewish, Southern California comedy. How does this happen? Like Brooks films, the plot wobbles, but the scenes are usually a lot of fun. The Invention of Lying is almost right up there with Defending Your Life, with the caveat that Jennifer Garner isn't as good at being a love interest as Meryl Streep. But using the standard of Meryl Streep is just being mean (Who can be as good as her?) so I take that last sentence back. The short included on the DVD is a must see, a hilarious mix of Monty Python and Mel Brooks humor. I’m guessing Ricky Gervais loves and studies all comics with the stage name of Brooks. Tags: I bet Gervais even knows a few words of Yiddish; I was hoping that he was going to pass a note that said, "I have a gub;" this would be the perfect set for a Dick and Jane movie; in a movie like this, the mother must appear by the second act and here she is. August 1, 2012 at 6:37 am Iron Man You rated this movie: 2.0 Dreadful stuff. The plot is incomprehensible. The soundtrack screams at you 100 percent of the time and is as annoying as a car alarm at 2 AM . The banter isn’t witty, it’s just plain dumb. The low point of the movie is when the hero – after having been held captive for months on end – comes back to the US and his first request is for an “American cheeseburger.” That burger turns out to be something from Burger King. Are you kidding me? The best that this billionaire hero can do for a burger is Burger King? Product placement is king I guess. Twenty minutes into the story and you realize that the bad men don’t wear black hats. Rather, they shave their heads bald. Stay away from bald men is I guess the moral here. Stay away from this turkey of a movie unless you’re an adolescent computer game playing male between the ages of 12-­‐14. You wrote this on 2008-­‐12-­‐11 The Island President 3.99 out of 5.00 52 Surprisingly engaging, The Island President tells the story of President Mohamed Nasheed’s quest to save his island nation, the Maldives, from being completely submerged by global warming induced sea-­‐level rise. With an average elevation of 1.5 meters, the Maldives has little time to get the rest of the world to reduce its CO2 emissions. Much of the movie focuses on Nasheed’s efforts to get a global treaty on reducing CO2 emissions passed at the 2009 Copenhagen Summit. The director understands that treaty negotiations don’t usually make for good drama so he makes this medicine easy to swallow by also paying a lot of attention to the history of the Maldives and to the back story of President Nasheed. Since I never heard of the Maldives before, I found the history part of this documentary quite interesting. But first and foremost, Nasheed is a magnetic personality with a colorful and heroic story to tell about how he became the Maldives’ first true democratic leader. He’s also not averse to using pranks to get his nation’s chief peril in the news and those pranks – like holding the world’s first underwater cabinet meeting – are both funny and effective. The Island President is not a feel good story. The likely future of the Maldives is that the world will ignore its plight, continue to pump increasing amounts of CO2 into the atmosphere, and that by 2075 or so, the island nation will be no more. The future of Nasheed as a politician is perilous as well given that he had to resign in 2012. But the story here is both interesting and thought provoking, and the beauty of some of the underwater images shown along the way is of National Geographic quality. Tags: Darwin’s understanding of the natural history of atolls really was at a genius level; damn this place looks beautiful; I want this guy’s mom’s recipe for spicy fish; he looks like he never ate a hamburger before in his whole life; did you know that the word atoll comes from the Maldivian word atolu? Sunday, December 16, 2012 at 7:40am It’s Complicated You rated this movie: 3.0 It’s not that complicated. The movie is silly, chick flick fluff, a superficial look at relationships with some nice sight gags. One of those sight gags, at about the 90 minute mark, is so good that I’m giving this movie three stars. The flip side is that you have to wait 90 minutes to get to it. It’s Complicated is too long by 30 minutes and everyone is so cleaned up and shiny that the movie is wholly unbelievable. Yes, Meryl Streep is wonderful and Alec Baldwin is surprisingly good at doing physical comedy. Without those two quality performances, this movie would have been a snooze. Imagine Kathryn Hepburn and Cary Grant trying to carry a screwball comedy with wooden dialogue and you’d get something close to this. The score by Hans Zimmer is painfully bad and repetitious; it’s pure elevator music. I can only guess that the writer/director wanted the music to be painfully bad and so that’s what Zimmer delivered. They paid a fortune, as well, for some of the songs in the 53 background (Beach Boys, Tom Petty, etc.). I’m guessing the music licensing budget was well over a half million; the money would have been better spent hiring a script doctor. You wrote this on 2010-­‐05-­‐29 I’ve Loved You So Long You rated this movie: 2.0 This is really a French soap opera. It’s well acted and it has a patina of sophistication, but it’s basically an overheated, unbelievable piece of mawkish trash. If it was in English and if the main characters, instead of spending their time reading books, watched TV, this movie would have had very little critical success. The packaging is very nice. What’s inside the packaging is cheap chocolate. Let’s see now. A woman gets out of prison after serving 15 years for murder and moves in with her well-­‐to-­‐
do sister professor and her family in a pretty part of France. Who did she murder? Oh my! Why did she murder this person? Oh my! There are a lot of tears and hugs and along the way, someone blows their brains out (off camera, thank god). As sand flows through the hourglass, so go the days of our lives. Or something likes that. You wrote this on 2009-­‐03-­‐10 Jiro Dreams of Sushi 3.76 out of 5.00 "All I want to do is make better sushi," says Jiro. Over the course of 80 or so minutes we learn just how the world's greatest sushi chef goes about his obsessive craft. I will never eat another piece of sushi without thinking that: 1) Jiro could make this so much better, no doubt; 2) I have no idea what good sushi really is; 3) I'll never be able to eat at Jiro's restaurant because it's too far away and way too expensive; 4) this still tastes pretty good and I should be happy to wallow in my ignorance and save myself a trip to Japan. The documentary is 20 minutes too long, all the Philip Glass music is annoying (call me muddle headed, but the relationship between Glass and sushi seems obtuse), and the direction is pretty crappy, but all that doesn't matter. You can't kill good subject matter like this. Jiro and his son (serving a thirty five year and counting apprenticeship) are completely captivating characters. In a simple nine seat counter restaurant, they make magic every day. Their attention to detail is beyond anything I've ever seen in any endeavor. There's no doubt about it. Jiro Dreams of Sushi is an eye-­‐opening documentary. Tags: two words, mouth watering; the attention to color accuracy here makes me want to watch this with Blu-­‐ray on a 2000" diagonal screen; this guy is ageless; this guy's son is selfless; cancel my plane to Pittsburgh, I'm flying to Tokyo ASAP. August 18, 2012 at 6:15 am Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work You rated this movie: 4.0 I may hate the actor. But I do love the acting. Joan Rivers is one big neurotic tic, but she’s also funny as hell, whip smart, and quick as a Ferrari. She is fascinating to watch, too, and this is the best documentary I’ve seen in quite some time. You get to 54 see Ms. Rivers warts (and there are plenty of them) and all as she successfully keeps her career afloat at an age when most entertainers happily retire to villas in Palm Springs. I’m not particularly a fan of Joan Rivers kvetchy, crude comedy style – I think she’s a rougher and not quite as cleaver version of her idol Phyllis Diller – but I have to admit that she knows her way around a joke better than just about anyone today. You can’t take your eyes off her; she is indefatigable, fierce, and undeniable. This film captures the essence of show biz ambition better than any I’ve seen. I kept shaking my head thinking how on earth does anyone keep up this ridiculous level of determination, drive and workload at any age, much less at the age of 75. She may be a walking advertisement for the horrors of too much plastic surgery, but she is also a testimony to the fact that success is 5 percent inspiration and 95 percent perspiration. You wrote this on 2011-­‐02-­‐02 Julie & Julia You rated this movie: 4.0 A very sweet and entertaining movie. I’m not generally a fan of Nora Ephron movies, but I found this one to be a whole lot of fun. It’s a wonderful date movie for grown-­‐
ups, full of warmth and laughs. Meryl Streep is a treasure as per usual. Amy Adams has the emotions of a just turned 30 striver down to a T. Then there is Stanley Tucci who plays a Fred MacMurray kind of character even better than Fred MacMurray did way back when. The dialogue is snappy of course. There is also of course no doubt that happiness will be in store for all the characters in the end (and for the movie-­‐goer as well). You wrote this on 2009-­‐09-­‐05 Katyn You rated this movie: 3.0 This is a well-­‐intentioned movie about a very important subject, but it somehow feels strained and a bit contrived. It feels more like a TV-­‐mini-­‐series in its obviousness than a smart movie. The bad guys are bad. The good guys are good. When a good guy turns bad, he shoots himself out of guilt. Then there’s the something else that’s a little bit eerie in the movie’s construction. Whether intentional or not, the Nazis come off as more humane than the Soviets. It’s as if, all things considered, the Poles would strongly prefer the Nazi’s mix of anti-­‐Semitism and fascism over the Soviet’s brand of communism. This aspect of the movie is hard to take. A truly compelling movie needs to be made on the impact of the Soviets on Poland during WWII and the decade beyond. This one is a bit too cartoon-­‐like. You wrote this on 2009-­‐08-­‐27 The Kids Are All Right You rated this movie: 3.0 So so dramedy with terrific performances that’s been getting great reviews mostly, I think, because it’s politically correct. The film is formulaic with a new age twist: the couple is gay, and the fly in the ointment that drives the plot is the sperm donor to the couple’s children. The script does try to be true to the emotions of the characters 55 and if it didn’t have a star-­‐filled cast, I’d say this effort would make for above average cable TV. But it doesn’t quite cross the bar for a standalone movie. Julianne Moore plays a role quite unlike anything she’s played before and is marvelous. Annette Benning, who I’m sure couldn’t wait to grow out of the comically bad haircut she was given for her role, matches Moore line for line. Mark Ruffalo does a solid job with a role that doesn’t have any substance; the script gives him a wooden part as a pheromone laden, new age, aging hottie. Even the actors playing the kids’ parts are solid. But the script ultimately is more shallow drama than it is true comedy. When, toward the end, Julianne Moore, gives a monologue about the difficulty of relationships, I groaned and thought this is just cheap, new age Chekhov. If you’re a TV watcher of HBO-­‐type dramas and comedies who watches MSNBC to affirm your political views, you’ll probably like this one. If you think all TV is boring (me), or watch FOX to affirm your political views (not me), you’ll think that this one is just OK or worse. You wrote this on 2010-­‐08-­‐21 The King’s Speech You rated this movie: 4.0 A very sweet, uplifting movie about how class distinctions can be immaterial and how a man can overcome painful obstacles to achieve success. Colin Firth plays the Duke of York, soon to be King George. Geoffrey Rush is the man who by chance has the difficult job of teaching the Duke how to speak publicly without a stutter. The film is played very simply as a story of friendship between the unlikeliest of pairs. Firth does an outstanding job. Rush perhaps overacts a bit, but is both arresting to watch and amusing. The movie plays loose with verisimilitude, but it’s probably necessary to do that in order to bring a contemporary audience into the drama. You can tell that the actors had a lot of fun making this movie; there’s just an ease of comfort that makes the film sing. The King’s Speech isn’t the deepest film in the world, but it is an excellent one for thoughtful older audiences. I can’t imagine someone over the age of 40 not liking this film. I expect that it will take off at the box office when it’s released and win its share of awards. You wrote this on 2010-­‐11-­‐18 Kismet You rated this movie: 4.0 They don’t call the era of MGM musicals the golden age for nothing. Howard Keel is tremendous as a singer and comic actor. He ain’t bad to look at, either. Ann Blyth hits all the notes as the ingénue and she isn’t bad to look at, too. Minelli wanted to film this movie in Baghdad, but MGM wouldn’t give him the money. In response, he created a very colorful, theatrical set, almost a visual parody of a Muslim city. Of course, if they tried to make this film, loaded with slurs and cliches about Arabs and Muslims, today there would be an uproar. Plus the whole cast looks like it was imported from Norway, it’s so pale skinned. If you can forgive all that, and I can, this movie is a whole lot of fun with a bunch of wonderful songs wonderfully performed, all strung together with a silly plot. You wrote this on 2011-­‐09-­‐23 56 Last Chance Harvey You rated this movie: 3.0 I didn’t know that Dustin Hoffman was so short! I’ve stood next to Emma Thompson. She’s about 5’6”. She seems to tower over Hoffman even barefoot. He must be no more than 5’4”. So I learned that one tidbit from this movie. I also learned that Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson are consummate actors. Actually, I knew that already. Finally, I learned that even in a bad movie, these two can shine. Whoops. I knew that already too! Last Chance Harvey was written expressly for these two actors. It’s a star vehicle. You get what you expect with a movie like this: a thin plot and lots of room for the actors to show their chops. I thought Emma Thompson and I would have made a lovely couple by the way. Just standing next to her for twenty seconds at the Venice airport – we both lost all of our luggage – I could feel the chemistry between us. And unlike Mr. Hoffman, I’m taller than her. My wife, though, says I’m too good for Ms. Thompson. Flattery will get you everywhere. You wrote this on 2009-­‐06-­‐21 Last Train Home You rated this movie: 4.0 Last Train Home is a poignant, sad, and gritty look at the modern peasant class of China. Capitalism has brought many out of poverty, but the flip side is that it has dislocated tens of millions of families. The parents work in factories in far off cites in the East. The children stay in the countryside reared by their grandparents. Aside from once a year visits during the Chinese New Year, parents and children are separated both physically and emotionally. This documentary looks in an unvarnished way at the lives of one peasant family over roughly a two-­‐year period. The parents yearn for something better for their children, but since they aren’t present, are powerless to effect change. Last Train Home is an eye opener about where China and its people are today. On paper and in fact there has been incredible economic progress. But in terms of real lives lived, China’s economic growth has been a double-­‐edged sword. You wrote this on 2011-­‐05-­‐18 A Late Quartet 3.42 out of 5.00 Once upon a time, I was biking past the local train station on my way to work. Michael Tree, who was a founding member of the Guarneri Quartet, was getting off the train. I stopped my bike in front of him. I looked him in the eye. “Play hard tonight,” I said, and promptly rode off. He turned his head as I rode away, probably thinking, “Who was that crazy person?” Like the director/writer of this movie, I love chamber music. But I’d never make a movie about a quartet. What do people in quartets do? They ride commuter trains on occasion. That may be the most exciting thing they do all day. Otherwise they practice, practice, practice and perform. They eat out at decent restaurants, too, I forgot. 57 What do people in A Late Quartet do? No surprise. They practice, eat and perform. Practice, eat and perform. There are added complications that might make for a good novel, but in movie form there is nothing visual to grab you. In this case, the main complication is that the cellist of the fictional, long-­‐time group featured in this movie has to retire due to illness. The impending retirement results in a chain reaction of calamities involving sexual betrayals. But aside from engaging in a couple of awkward trysts (People who play chamber music aren’t very good at sex, who knew?), what do the musicians in the quartet do? Practice, eat and perform. This is a well-­‐meaning movie, but it doesn’t get very far dramatically. Tags: None of these people can play an instrument and it’s so obvious they are faking it that the director needed to cut down on visuals of them practicing and performing; that husband is the most incompetent cheater in the world; now what are the odds of finding a parking space in Lower Manhattan right in front of your lover’s apartment; a Flamenco dancer with swooping red damask drapes pressing against her bed, hmmm, that’s laying it on a bit thick; there are a lot of unbelievable things happening in this movie, but the biggest one is Philip Seymour Hoffman jogging every day around the Central Park Reservoir; plus 0.27 points for casting Christopher Walken in a role where he is expected to be completely sane. March 11, 2013 at 7:57am Le Concert 3.73 out of 5.00 The plot is ridiculous and has more twists than a laptop power cable that's been put on a tilt-­‐a-­‐whirl (I'm trying, honest), but, but, but, somehow it doesn't matter all that much. This movie is funny and pretty smart. Way, way, way better than an Apatow-­‐
type comedy. Think back to movies like The Russians Are Coming and The Producers. For more recent equivalents, think of Goodbye Lenin and Children of the Revolution. Le Concert isn't as good as any of those movies, but it is a fun view especially if you like Russian culture and classical music, and have a thing for pretty French actresses (guilty). A former Russian conductor, destroyed by Soviet politics, resurrects his old orchestra on a ruse and has them play a major concert in France. Lots of crazy things happen, every cliche imaginable is used, and quite a few of the gags -­‐ once you say what the hell it's not believable but so what -­‐ are laugh out loud funny. The acting is quite good. The direction is a bit clunky. A good movie to watch with a bottle of vodka. November 6, 2011 at 11:57 am Le Havre 3.63 out of 5.00. The director and writer of Le Havre, Aki Kaurismäki, is Finnish and doesn't speak French, but somehow he's managed to write French dialogue for French actors and uses a style and approach so steeped in French cinema that most of the mini-­‐
homages to past movies he creates are beyond me. Visually Le Havre is one of the most carefully constructed and painterly movies I’ve seen in the past few years. 58 They seem to have gone to the trouble of repainting real life interiors before shooting in order to maintain a consistent color palette. But then there is the story, which is slight to the point of being annoying. The two main plots are both resolved with “and then a great miracle happened here” moments. The script does have nice touches of whimsy, but I’d say Le Havre is strictly for hardcore fans of French cinema. Tags: I’d like American movies more if they used real faces with real character like this one does; they seem to have picked every nice weather day in Normandy to shoot this thing; how many Finnish movies are made every year anyway; this guy has to be the oldest shoe shine man in France. September 15, 2012 at 9:48am Lemon Tree You rated this movie: 3.0 The film is very sincere and has the kernel of a good idea, but the execution is rather lame. A lemon tree grove in the occupied territories becomes a metaphor for Israeli-­‐
Palestinian relations. As the song about the lemon tree goes – and that song is played in the background at least twice – things are impossible to eat/resolve. So much for the good part of this movie. The actual drama is artificial and unbelievable, and the characters are too broadly drawn. On another level, this film seems to argue that all men are jerks and if only women were in charge, the Middle East would be in harmony. If only things were so simple. Ultimately, this movie is simple-­‐minded and poorly thought out. You wrote this on 2009-­‐12-­‐13 A Life Apart: Hasidism in America You rated this movie: 4.0 I grew up with one foot in the Hasidic world. I know the culture fairly well. The creators of this movie must have worked very, very hard to get some of their footage. This movie is about as sympathetic a portrayal of the Hasidic community in New York as you’ll likely find. It emphasizes the warmth, the spirituality and the strong family ties of the Hasidim and tries to avoid making judgments. The movie allows the Hasidim to show their best face and extol about their culture. It dabbles a bit in showing those that have left the community, but does so with a soft focus approach. If you want to understand a bit about the better side of Hasidism, this movie is a good place to start. You wrote this on 2010-­‐02-­‐08 The Life and Work of Sally Mann You rated this movie: 4.0 This biography gets into the emotions of what it’s like to be a Southern artist in a New York driven art world. Sally Mann made a huge splash with glass-­‐negative portraits of her children and husband in the 1990s. They were a potent mix of honeyed nostalgia and the creepy. But at heart, Ms. Mann isn’t avant garde, detached, or edgy, characteristics that have driven the New York art world for decades. She is 59 an artist ultimately as grounded in the real world and in the land around her as much as the 19th century photographers whose equipment and techniques she uses. New York has been far less interested in her later work and the question this documentary explores well – by filming Ms. Mann and her family over a roughly 9 month period – is basic. How important is an audience to an artist? We get to see Mann struggle with rejection and after swallowing a good deal of pride, make the effort to find an alternative audience for her new work. Recommended for those interested in the creative process and especially those interested in art photography. You wrote this on 2011-­‐07-­‐20 Life of Pi 3.14159 out of 5.00000 OK that rating is a joke. And the film was made in 3.14159-­‐D, but in truth I saw the 2.00000-­‐D version. Another bad joke. I need to get serious. Why did I see it in 2-­‐D? I don’t like wearing 3-­‐D glasses, I had free tickets, they wanted to add a 3-­‐D surcharge, and I’m too cheap. I should stop going around in circles with this review. I should be direct and to the point, discuss the Life of Pi in its entire depth and volume and not just skim the surface. Otherwise this review will be longer than an infinite series. Here goes. I was surprised that someone wanted to make a movie out of the novel Life of Pi. The novel is a unique and fabulous work. While reading it, I kept marveling how the author, Yann Martel, took so little material – basically he put a kid on a little boat with a tiger and said I’m going to make a novel out of this – and created a full and fascinating world. The success was mostly due to a pitch perfect voice. You can’t recreate voice in a movie version of a novel, and given the lack of plot – the novel is a thin soup of a picaresque – I thought any movie made out of the Life of Pi would be a complete dud. But I was wrong. Ang Lee has done something commendable here. Visually, even in two dimensions, this is a spectacular movie. The story isn’t much – it’s a boy loses tiger, boy gets tiger, boy loses tiger tale – but by simplifying the narrative, Lee makes the movie accessible to children. The novel is definitely not children’s fare. I wasn’t aware of just how suitable the movie version of Life of Pi was for kids until I heard children’s laughter from the audience while I was watching. Life of Pi is a visual feast. The images are startlingly good. If religious themes bother you, Life of Pi might not be something you’d want to see even though it has great cinematography and special effects. Like the novel, the movie discusses issues of religious faith, and it’s a little heavy handed in the movie version. Overall, I thought the simple-­‐minded discussions of religion were not too off-­‐putting. The Life of Pi is the movie equivalent of a great opera or a great ballet. The story is a barebones thing that’s not particularly important, and it’s the art in the performance that carries the day. 60 Tags: I guess tigers don’t purr; I wonder if Topaz would like this movie; where have I seen a tooth in a plant before; I’ll never think of Tony the Tiger the same way again; that kid is one lousy fisherman. December 26, 2012 at 5:32am Like Crazy 2.96 out of 5.00 Dumb me, I made a mistake. I needed a feel good, mindless, pick me up movie and I thought this thing was a romcom. But noooo, it's a romdram. Actually it's a romtrag. Damn. This means that over an interval of 89 minutes I get to watch the cutest couple -­‐ and I mean absolutely adorably cute, not sexy, but awwww cute -­‐ fall madly in love and then be too immature to stay in love. Talk about a mood killer. But it really is all my fault. I should have done more research about this movie before I popped it into my laptop All in all, this is a meesy micey kind of flick. The script is flat and the actors kind of mumble their chatty lines (I guess this is what people call mumble core). The pace is slow. But Like Crazy is realistic. People really do fall in love like this. People often really are too immature in their 20s (and 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s) to keep the flame going over a long distance. And the couple is so damn cute! Really is. I give it plus 0.43 points for that alone. Like Crazy pays homage to I don't know how many French films from the 1960s and 1970s. The difference here is that since this is an American/British movie, the couple examined hardly smooch and rarely get into bed. They just consistently giggle and look at each other gooey eyed. Call me a dirty old man, but I prefer the smooching of the French. I can't recommend this movie on artistic grounds; the script just isn't good enough. It definitely won't pick you up, either. That all said, Like Crazy is far from a disaster. Next time, though, I'm going to do a little research and find a movie with real smooching and real laughs. Tags: I appreciate the effort the filmmakers went through to make sure that the places these people lived in were dumpy; I'm not so sure I appreciate the collagen lip thing going on with Felicity Jones; the cell phone bills of these people must be outrageous; this is the best movie I've ever seen that involves the game Balderdash. April 19, 2012 at 10:34 pm Lincoln 3.67 out of 5.00 I’m not a Spielberg kind of moviegoer. I walked out on a couple of early Stephen Spielberg hit movies, ET and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. During others, I’ll often sit like a lump in the theater and wonder what I’m missing that everyone else seems to find appealing. For me, there’s an obviousness to his stories, a schmaltziness that can at times make me cringe. 61 I’m not a Tony Kushner fan, either. I’ll sit like a lump through most of his plays with much the same expression I have during Spielberg movies. Angels in America is probably the best play of the last 30 years, but for me it’s overwritten and, at times, clumsy. So I wasn’t excited about going to see Lincoln. To make sure I wouldn’t walk out in the middle, I brought along five close relatives, the kind who would, in family gathering after family gathering, tease me if I walked out of a movie that would go on to win a zillion Oscars. It’s easy to see that Lincoln will, indeed, win a zillion Oscars. Best Movie. Best Actor. Best Supporting Actor. Best Director. Best Screenplay. Best Supporting Actress. Best Cinematography. All of those might happen plus Lincoln probably will win a few more in categories no one can remember. I did cringe at times while watching this movie. The screenplay is overwritten, the movie is too long, and instead of talking to each other, the actors recite monologue after monologue. It gets tedious not infrequently. That all said, Lincoln is, for me, the best movie Spielberg has ever made. It’s beautiful to watch, appealing to the ear, and most importantly, unlike every Spielberg movie I’ve ever seen, it’s restrained. There’s a delightful quietness to this movie across the board, from the soft-­‐spoken and understated way Daniel Day-­‐
Lewis portrays an American icon to the soundtrack. Visually, Lincoln is a delight. All that works to overcome the flaws in the script and the tendency toward hagiography. Lincoln is an intelligent movie with a level of craft that maybe one movie in a decade attains. Tags: another speech is coming, and another, and another; Mary Todd Lincoln was 45, not 65, and maybe Pamela Anderson’ with a requisite beach scene – would have been a better choice for the role; Joseph Gordon-­‐Levitt does a good job looping back from 2044 to play this kid; it’s probably true that Phillip Seymour Hoffman has never appeared in a Spielberg movie and never will; forty years in Hollywood have turned Tommy Lee Jones’ complexion to hell. Thursday, January 3, 2013 at 4:46am The Lincoln Lawyer You rated this movie: 4.0 The Lincoln Lawyer is an old fashioned legal drama that borrows from plot devices seen way back when in Perry Mason. Aside from the fast cutting and the staccato, terse dialogue you would think that this film was made in the 1980s. I kept thinking that this movie was a lot like a film with Jeff Goldblum, Into The Night. It’s fast-­‐paced, feel-­‐good entertainment with a creaky plot and a lot of one-­‐liners. The Lincoln Lawyer avoids special effects and car crashes and instead relies upon a good yarn to carry the day. A slick lawyer with a heart of gold tries to do the right thing is the story in a nutshell. Of course there are serious obstacles along the way. The cast is 62 first rate – Marisa Tomei gets to play someone normal for the first time in a long time – as is the soundtrack. I wish Hollywood made more movies like this. You wrote this on 2011-­‐04-­‐25 Little Voice Friday, April 19, 2013 at 7:20am 3.89 out of 5.00. Little Voice came out over a dozen years ago, so long ago that Ewan McGregor looks like a teen (he was in his twenties). In a lot of ways, this movie shouldn’t work. It’s way too stagy, the acting is almost always over the top, the characters are unbelievable, and it’s schmaltzy to the max. But somehow all those minuses work together to make a huge plus. This movie is funny as hell. A shy, early sixties (pre-­‐rock and roll) record obsessed, shut-­‐in daughter can imitate Garland, Monroe, and Shirley Bassett with uncanny precision. She has a mother from hell who begins to date a fourth rate talent agent. The agent hears the shut-­‐in’s voice from her bedroom. He’s certain he’s found a future star and coaxes her into performing a one-­‐night show at a local club. It’s all very British. The accents are so thick that it takes at least 10 minutes to understand what Michael Caine and Brenda Blethyn are saying. But once you do, it’s time to laugh out loud. Caine is pure sleaze. Blethyn isn’t afraid to be one hundred percent mean and awful. Then there is Jane Horrocks, who really is quite good as a Judy Garland imitator. Little Voice is broad comedy with an essential touch of tenderness. Live-­‐in Maid You rated this movie: 4.0 Netflix’s rating algorithm said I wouldn’t like this movie. It was wrong. This is a well-­‐
written character study about the interaction between two middle-­‐aged women who have been uneasily tied together for 30 years. It’s an eye-­‐opening look at another culture, and the theme here crosses cultural boundaries easily. The story is believable. The acting is solid. A sad film with heart that doesn’t try to do too much. Highly recommended. Chick films in the US could learn a thing or two from this movie. You wrote this on 2008-­‐12-­‐11 Living in Oblivion You rated this movie: 2.0 Oh, this movie is a major abuse of talent. The narrative is obvious. I kept waiting to laugh, hoping to laugh, and then just prayed for a smile to come from the script. None arrived. There are a lot of quality actors on the screen with nothing to do. If you’re a moviemaker, this script might be interesting as an insider, sort of farcical look at the movie business. But if you aren’t or don’t really care about the movie business and just want a good and funny story, this movie will disappoint. It’s too obvious to be interesting. If it weren’t for the acting, I’d file this one under visual and verbal torture. You wrote this on 2009-­‐08-­‐05 Looper 63 3.31 out of 5.00 As a proud mama’s boy, I’m all for movies like Looper that emphatically proclaim the transformative value of a good mother. The fact that a mother’s love is used to drive a key plot element in a sci/fi thriller involving time travel is probably a bit unusual. I wouldn’t really know, though. I don’t watch that many sci/fi thrillers. There are a lot of people on web sites and blogs who have noted the logic flaws in Looper. That’s not my concern. It’s a movie. If time travel loops in a movie don’t make full logical sense, I’m not going to scream, “Give me back my money!” Let me tell you, Buck Rogers and Superman don’t make logical sense. Neither does the Wizard of Oz. You want logic? Take a math class. Now where was I? Oh yes, the movie Looper. It’s about people in the future who send people back in time so they can be disposed of – i.e. killed the old fashioned way -­‐ with a huge gun. The clever part is that sometimes people are told by the powers that be to kill their future selves. That’s what happens in Looper and as you can imagine, such requests don’t always end cleanly. The plot thickens as a result, and in Looper’s case it thickens more than enough to make an interesting movie. That’s the good news. Plus there is a bit of character development along the way. That’s more good news. Then there is the aforementioned mother’s love angle. That’s the best news. The bad news is that there are too many bullets and there is too much blood for my taste. But I can say that about most movies made today. It’s why I don’t normally watch thrillers and sci/fi flicks. Looper reminds me a lot of Blade Runner, a futuristic dystopia that I don’t find altogether appealing, but that is made well enough for me to understand why it would have high appeal to many. Tags: now that’s a serious temper tantrum that makes those from my own childhood seem tiny indeed; it may be the case that the future will be better than today and will not be dystopic at all, just saying; if you’re going to make a time machine, I think you should pay more attention to esthetics; I want to take a time machine to the 1930s, where I would do my best to avoid Hitler and Stalin and spend all of my time with Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald. January 1, 2013 at 8:02pm The Magic of Belle Isle 1.18 out of 5.00 What's a Stu to do to find movies? Review aggregators like Rotten Tomatoes tell me that the community of pro critics out there will form a cheering chorus only for documentaries on PC topics, depressing films with subtitles, inarticulate scripts by semi-­‐literate twenty-­‐somethings with budgets smaller than the cost of a lunch at a decent sushi bar, and big budget superhero things where the "hero" is sexually conflicted and at heart is a sociopath. Reliable reviewers for me are non-­‐existent (Mick LaSalle and AO Scott come close, though, and I do enjoy reading both of them). Netflix's rating algorithm tells me that I'll like anything Jewish and hate everything else (That's not true!). I'm at a loss. I might as well randomly pick movies from the shelves. 64 This leads me to The Magic of Belle Isle. Stephen Holden of the NYT liked this movie. Holden is also a cabaret reviewer and his main claim to semi-­‐fame is that he’s in love with the singing of Andrea Marcovicci. Have you heard Ms. Macrovicci sing? It's a nightmare of off-­‐pitch notes; she's the vuvuzela of cabaret singers. Mr. Holden's taste is, therefore, suspect, and this movie is a case in point. There is no magic on Belle Isle. There's no real story either, just a lot of treacle. Morgan Freeman is out of his depth as an alcoholic, tortured author with writer's block (although he does get to do a voice-­‐over and man is he great with voice-­‐overs; the best in the business). I don't know what the creators were thinking when they put this movie together. It looks like they were aiming for a mix of On Golden Pond with an afterschool TV show. Every minute is focused on a lesson to be learned. They forgot that even if your principal aim is to be didactic, you do need to entertain now and then. Tags: If I see one more close up of a cute face with an out of focus background, I'm going to call the cinematography police; afterschool TV shows probably have better scores; no one looks like they are enjoying acting in this movie, least of all Virginia Madsen; kids don't behave like this anywhere, not on Earth, not in heaven, not in hell; this is what script doctors are for. October 1, 2012 at 9:49pm Magic Mike 3.65 out of 5.00 One word: dancing. That’s the only reason to watch this movie and I don’t mean that in a negative way. Magic Mike is a very good dance movie about male strippers. The script is dull -­‐ boy gets clothes, boy loses clothes, boy gets clothes and a hot girlfriend is what it’s about -­‐ but then there is the choreography. It’s very inventive and a hell of a lot of fun. I’ve never been to a male strip club, but if they tend to be this sparkling clean and if the dancers are this talented, I should go twice a week. Channing Tatum is a wooden actor with a “butter face” (What is the male equivalent of butter face, anyway?), but he does a splendid job gyrating and more on the club stage. Matthew McConaughey hams it up and then some as the club owner. Probably about 40 percent of the movie consists of dance scenes. Given the lack of a plot and the moronic dialogue, they probably should have upped that to 80 percent. But even so, there is more than enough choreography to make Magic Mike worth a view on DVD. Tags: Ecstasy, it would seem, costs way too much money; if it would be this easy to get girls in a bar, twenty-­‐something men would be a lot happier; I think a Star Wars themed strip/dance scene would be a good idea, but getting permission to do that might be difficult; I guess the moral of this movie is don’t trust women with purple highlights; this movie somehow manages to give dry humping a good name (don’t ask me how). December 26, 2012 at 9:36pm 65 The Making of West Side Story You rated this movie: 4.0 Four gay Jewish New York guys walk into a bar. No that’s not the opening to a joke. That’s a slightly stretched version of how one of the greatest Broadway musicals was made. I love this musical and if you are a musician, lyricist or composer, you’ll likely find this documentary fascinating. Probably, music lovers will find this view into the world of studio recording compelling as well. The movie gives you a portrait of Leonard Bernstein during a time after his drug craziness when he became a human being again. The real joke in this movie deals with the casting of Jose Carreras as the New York, white trash, tenement dwelling, romantic lead. Huh? Boy does he ever struggle with the words. Plus he is simply a voice with little or no musical skills. There are two different versions of him singing Maria that define this movie. The first version is painfully bad. Carreras comes back the next day and suddenly, bam! Not only is the voice there, but there is some rhythm and emotion. Human beings are not machines. And Leonard Bernstein plays the role of flawed king here with perfection. Except it really isn’t a role. It was his life. You wrote this on 2009-­‐07-­‐24 Mamele You rated this movie: 4.0 If you don’t know Yiddish, this film may be hard to watch because the subtitles are sometimes illegible. But if you do know the language, this is a fun movie on a number of fronts. You can see the origins of the 50s-­‐80s TV sitcom in this movie very clearly. There is the same snappy dialogue, the same irony, the same zany ridiculous plot, and all of it is couched in a family full of outlier characters. Molly Picon is fabulous. If she had been born forty years later, she could have been a wonderful TV sitcom star. The songs – kind of Bollywood-­‐like – that are interspersed throughout the film are fun and well written, too. You wrote this on 2009-­‐11-­‐16 Margin Call 3.46 out of 5.00 The bad news is that in a lot of ways this movie is flat out unbelievable. The good news is that if you ignore the big glitches this is a well-­‐done ensemble piece. First the bad news. The plot is junk. A Merrill-­‐type Wall Street trading firm discovers before everyone else that their sophisticated trading models are inadequate. Somehow this is the only firm that is aware of this fatal error. But this major element of the story simply isn't possible. In fact, just about every damn "quant" on Wall Street knew the flaws in their models prior to 2007. Anyhow, the firm decides to act on this piece of info by selling everything -­‐ all their junk instruments -­‐ in one trading day before everyone else realizes that they are junk. This too isn't possible. Within fifteen minutes of trying to do that, all of Wall Street would be in a tizzy. There's also some horrible, over-­‐the-­‐top dialogue. So why would anyone want to see this movie? Your average moviegoer won't know the plot devices are hooey so 66 they're no great sin. Then there is the acting. There is some wonderful interplay between the principles. It's all old-­‐fashioned moviemaking, something akin to Twelve Angry Men. You could easily see Henry Fonda in the Kevin Spacey role and Lee J. Cobb as Henry Fonda's boss. Spacey does a fine job. I'd quibble that given what I know of traders -­‐ and I know a bit -­‐ he's too soft. But it's still an electric performance. If you're looking for a moral dilemma themed movie, Margin Call is well worth watching. If it had been in black and white and I had an old tube TV (and they removed all the F-­‐bombs in the dialogue), I would have thought that I was watching a great CBS Studio One special from way back when. Tags: When oh when will Jeremy Irons be allowed to shine in a romantic comedy? This music is twelve shades of awful. It’s good to see cigarette smoking in the movies again, ahhhh. January 14, 2012 at 7:02 am A Matter of Size 2.96 out of 5.00 This Israeli comedy has a promising premise: fatsos revolt from a diet program and decide to put on even more weight in order to become sumo wrestlers. The problem here is in the execution. Rather than fully develop the main plot and the characters, the writers decide to throw in some weak sub-­‐plots related to romance lost and found. The movie is very laconic with much of the footage consisting of the actors running around in public in their sumo outfits. Then there is some lame Hebrew word play. It all feels very sitcom TV-­‐like with some Karate Kid homages added for reasons I don't quite understand. That said, there are at least a half-­‐dozen belly laughs associated with sight gags including one very funny (and very brief) death scene. Tags: On a per pound basis, this is a pretty lame comedy; the setting, a nowhere airport town, is a good inside joke; in American movies there's the wise Negro (usually Morgan Freeman), but in Israeli movies I guess it's the wise Asian. May 16, 2012 at 8:14 am Me and Orson Welles 3.45 out 5.00 This could've been a wonderful, light, entertaining period flick if only Zac Efron could act, but he can't. Not even close. Neither can his initial love interest. When they’re together, it’s like watching a contemporary teen romantic comedy. Neither can get in a 1930s mood. But when Efron is in the background or being upstaged by Christian McKay -­‐ who does a wonderful impersonation of Orson Welles -­‐ this movie clicks. Especially fun is the reenactment of the Mercury Theater's production of Julius Caesar. The script is solid and it's clear that a lot of money was spent on visual details. It's pretty to watch and is just one step away from being something I'd want to see again. 67 Tags: McKay is giving Welles the benefit of the doubt and tries to show that Welles' ego didn't get in the way of his talent (I'm not so sure that's the case); this movie is filmed in the colors of an Italian 16th century oil painting, which is a bit odd; you'd never guess that Welles was from Kenosha. July 31, 2012 at 10:11 am Martha Macy May Marlene 1.95 out of 5.00 Yuck. Watched this on a plane. Definitely not a Stu movie. Depressing and unintelligent script. Repeated long shots of people just kind of standing there. Dialogue is insipid. The plus is the acting, which saves this movie from ending up in my Hall of Shame. Here's the premise. Girl escapes from a Manson-­‐like cult and ends up in her estranged, rich sister's summer place. The cult she fled is evil beyond evil. If the director/writer had turned this into a campy horror movie, it might have potential. But no. He plays it serious. Based on this movie, you'd think that Manson-­‐like cults are everyday things in the Catskills, as common as unemployed musicians and broke artists. And you'd think that women in Manson-­‐like cults are gorgeous with flawless skin. Squeaky Fromme apparently was one makeover away from being a SI swimsuit model. OK, enough dumping on this film. Elizabeth Olsen does a very good job playing a vulnerable young woman. John Hawkes has a nice turn as a modern day Manson. If you skip through about a third of this movie like I did you won't be ridiculously bored and it'll be over in one hour and ten minutes. Tags: I get it, I get it, the girl is trying to cleanse herself by swimming, but it isn't working; you can't fool me, that house is too clean and nobody lives in it; if you don't show a knife in the first act... April 4, 2012 at 10:42 pm Mean Girls 3.74 out 5.00 How did I miss this movie? It's so old that Lindsay Lohan is actually sweet and charming. It came out in 2004, seven years ago (which is sixty three in Lohan years). Mean Girls is a worthy 2000's version of Clueless and Heathers and another five or so teen girl movies over the last few decades that have been pretty funny. A new kid (home schooled in Africa by a couple of academics) comes to Chicago and gets instantly slammed by the strange sociology of girl high school life. All works out in the end of course. The cast is solid, especially Lindsay Lohan. She needs to go back in a time machine and recapture her feel-­‐good mojo. The script by Tina Fey has more than a few droll moments and knows when to make fun of itself (and the genre). I thought some of the transformations of the characters were over the top, but my female experts tell me no, no, no, it's true to life. Tags: Walker Pancake House gift certificates are worth their weight in gold and should never, ever be the butt of a joke; there's only one Jewish girl (who isn't convincingly Jewish) in a high school on the North Shore of Chicago, hmmmm; 68 Chicago never has as consistently good weather as is seen in this movie; the Risky Business references are a nice touch. November 25, 2011 at 9:43 am The Men Who Stare at Goats You rated this movie: 3.0 This movie doesn’t quite know if it’s trying to be Ishtar or The Magnificent Seven. It’s more or less a buddy movie with the addition of ESP and New Age philosophy in an Army setting. If that sounds nonsensical to you then you won’t like this flick. The script is a horrible mess although some of the gags are funny. Most of the gags are head scratchers, though. What makes this movie watchable is the cast, which does a wonderful job at trying to make something entertaining out of a whole lot of nothing. I’m giving this movie an extra star because of the extra feature on the DVD, which interviews the real people involved in using ESP and New Age ideas in the Army (yes, this movie is based a bit on a true story). Their real life tales are far more interesting than the actual movie. You wrote this on 2010-­‐04-­‐03 The Messenger You rated this movie: 3.0 If being sincere and well meaning were all you needed to make a good movie, The Messenger would get five stars hands down. But you also need a decent script. This one comes up way short, save from a very good monologue at about the 90-­‐minute mark. Two men go door to door delivering the news about loved ones lost in battle to wives and parents. The visits are true to life, but they also become repetitive and ultimately nothing much happens in the way of character development. On the plus side, the movie has a naturalistic feel and is respectful of both the military and those who face the horrible grief of losing a child. Woody Harrelson takes a Hollywood let’s ham it up approach, but the other principal actors – Ben Foster and Samantha Morton – are much more low key and effective. Neither Foster nor Morton have the faces or bodies typical of lead actors, which makes the film much more believable. These are ordinary people dealing with extraordinary events. I just wish the writers would have found a way to insert a real plot. Instead, the movie is well intentioned, but desultory in structure. You wrote this on 2010-­‐07-­‐01 Midnight in Paris You rated this movie 4.0 I hadn’t seen a woody Allen movie in a while and maybe the last movie of his that I liked was Zelig. I’d given up. He was ponderous and predictable. But then this movie came out and people said he’d rebounded. I didn’t believe it at first. Now that I’ve seen this movie, I’d have to agree. It’s both charming and funny, a well-­‐constructed light comedy that made me laugh more than a few times. Owen Wilson plays the Woody Allen lead role, which is a funny bit of casting that adds to the laughs. When Wilson, sent to the past, starts kvetching about the absence of antibiotics, you laugh at both the line and about the fact that some beach boy goy is saying it. Here Wilson 69 is miserable, dealing with an unsuitable fiance (she’s basically a materialist airhead with a hot body), rabid right-­‐wing future in-­‐laws, and a novel in progress that’s lifeless. To escape he goes backwards in time at midnight. The people and situations he runs into during his time travel are a hoot. The movie doesn’t try to do too much. It’s effective comedy that harkens back to 1930’s screwball movies where the characters are all wealthy, live lavishly, and apparently don’t ever work. I kept expecting Edward Everett Horton to make a cameo appearance in a tux. If you liked the old Allen comedies of the 1970s, you’ll probably like this movie as well. You wrote this on 2011-­‐07-­‐21 Milk 3.88 out of 5.00 I missed this movie when it came out a few years ago. The one big minus of Milk is the script, which is 100 percent hagiography and has some horrible dialog. But the arc of the plot works, and then there is everything else, which is wonderful. Sean Penn gives a knock out performance. The score by Danny Elfman is on target always. The subsidiary roles are played with panache. Finally, there is Gus van Sant, who is a consummate pro at putting together old-­‐fashioned movies like this. Visually, Milk – the mixing of old footage with the new, the color palette used, etc. – is a joy to watch. Milk reminded me a lot of the biopic of Ray Charles a few years back, which also had a mediocre script and a first-­‐rate lead performance. But on the whole, I’d say Milk is a bit above the Charles movie because of the skillful work of its director. Tags: It's probably true that SF is the only city in the US where being gay is close to being an ordinary thing; that person's transformation into a political activist is a magic leap that needed to be fixed; why doesn't Sean Penn act in more movies like this that I can actually watch instead of all those dark, depressing, violent things that you couldn’t pay me to see; if they make a movie of my life, I want Gus van Sant to direct and Paul Giamatti to play me. October 20, 2012 at 9:30am Moneyball You rated this: 3.46 I was curious as to how they were going to make an interesting movie from the book Moneyball, which is all about the value of baseball statistics. Now I know. You probably can’t. The acting here is first rate. Pitt and Hill have good chemistry. The visuals are well done (and you can spot me in the film as an extra behind Pitt and Hill at about the 12 minute mark). All in all this is a very carefully made movie. But the script is a downer. The main character, Billy Beane, is portrayed as an unhappy, tortured soul who spends a lot of time looking back at the mistakes in his life (a broken marriage and his failure as a ballplayer are most prominent). As a result, it’s hard to root for him to succeed. There are a tremendous number of scenes where there isn’t any dialogue at all and the camera dwells on pensive faces. The deliberate pacing makes the movie a bit of a snooze. I liked the choices for the subsidiary acting roles. Hoffman does a fine job and the faces picked for the time-­‐weathered baseball scouts are fantastic. But overall, I’d say this movie is for baseball fans only. 70 Here I am, by the way. The middle-­‐aged guy in the yellow button-­‐down shirt that’s standing and clapping: Tags: egads two hours of us pretending to watch a fly ball go up and down for less than two seconds of final footage; Brad Pitt really is the lost son of Robert Redford; I’d like to see Hoffman lose 120 pounds to play the part of Apolo Ohno in his next movie, now that would be acting; the biggest part of movie magic here is making the Oakland Coliseum look ravishingly beautiful. You wrote this on 2011-­‐10-­‐03 Monsieur Lazhar 3.18 out of 5.00 I was pulling for this film to work -­‐ it certainly is a sincere effort -­‐ but it never quite got over the bar. Monsieur Lazhar is a premise movie. A teacher kills herself at night in her classroom. A man with no qualifications except for a big heart fakes his way into the job of her replacement. What will happen? A premise movie like this depends on avoiding melodrama, having solid acting, and a solid script. Monsieur Lazhar generally is successful with step one, avoiding melodrama. The acting is just so-­‐so, mostly because it involves an ensemble cast of kids who don't seem to have had theatrical training and the lead is a professional comedian. But it's the script, which seems to consist of mostly improvised dialogue, that's really wanting here. That's a shame, because a lot of care was put into the camera work and the blocking out of scenes. The end result is that I never lost myself in the drama and the major emotional events seemed contrived. Tags: every set seems as cramped as a telephone booth; those snowflakes are as big Cadillacs. April 23, 2012 at 7:45 am 71 Moonrise Kingdom 4.18 out of 5.00 This is probably the most fun I'm going to have watching a movie all year. Mash up Peter Pan with Casablanca, add the visual quirkiness of Forrest Gump, and maybe you'd have something like this. But maybe not. Moonrise Kingdom is almost impossible to describe and is certainly not for everyone. The basic plot -­‐ a tale of adolescent love at first sight -­‐ is ordinary enough. The levels of sweetness and innocence, however, are not. Moonrise Kingdom ignores almost all pop culture and contemporary social mores to create something that feels Victorian. Then there are the visuals, which are over the top with their saturated colors and odd camera angles. I'm sure some will find it all too precious and also find the cartoon-­‐logic of the story off putting. But for me, Moonrise Kingdom is a joy. Tags: I never knew Benjamin Britten and Hank Williams had so much in common; my mom wore exactly that shade of eye shadow; now that's a nice beer summit; is Edward Norton having too much fun here or what; no way they made tents like that in 1965. July 8, 2012 at 5:29 am The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers You rated this movie: 3.0 From a movie making standpoint this film is not up to snuff. It’s just one talking head after another. If you are old enough to know this story, there’s not a whole lot new here, although one of the Nixon tapes aired is jaw dropping. If you’re young though, I’d recommend the film as an accessible entryway into a very interesting time in American history. Without Ellsberg, we would have never found out that the government was lying to us about Vietnam. Tens of thousands of additional American lives would have been lost without purpose. But the moviemakers should have found some way to make a real story about the life of Daniel Ellsberg. What we get here instead is a mishmash of events. While interesting, it’s one of the more artless movies I’ve watched in some time. You wrote this on 2011-­‐01-­‐14 Mountains of the Moon You rated this movie: 2.0 A very cheesy, long, disjointed buddy movie with some gay undercurrents thrown in. If I had seen this on a big screen, I might have given this movie an extra star because the African scenery likely would have been captivating. But on a TV screen, you’re left with just the script and acting. The script is out of some B grade epic you might see on AMC in a hotel room. The acting is overheated. This film is pretty much a disaster from the opening fight scene between the explorers and the African tribesmen. I’m sure the real story of these two adventurers is interesting. But the movie? Yawn. You wrote this on 2010-­‐12-­‐12 Moving Midway 72 You rated this movie: 4.0 You won’t find another movie as steeped in the real heart of Carolina. I don’t know if this movie will appeal to a general audience. I do know it will appeal to many who have spent time in the South and especially those who have spent time in the Carolina Piedmont. It’s a sweet story about Southern family and how life has changed over time. The lives portrayed here are Southerners through and through. When they desperately speculate that their family must have treated their slaves well because everyone in the family is so kind, I felt like I knew these people. Even the construction of the movie has a Southern feel; laid back and quiet in his approach, the director lets the story show itself little by little. Watch this one after some bar-­‐b-­‐que, sweet tea, and banana pudding. Wash it all down with some bourbon while you watch and you’ll feel right at home. You wrote this on 2009-­‐07-­‐01 Mud 3.73 out of 5.00 A very old fashioned movie from beginning to end, Mud is quite the yarn. Two Arkansas kids travel to an uninhabited island on the Mississippi River looking for a boat high up in a tree. They find the boat and with it a local man on the lam. Will the man escape with his true love? How far will the boys go to help him? Mud is a sprawling coming of age tale that, somehow, successfully mixes Tom Sawyer with Fitzcarraldo. There are holes in the plot aplenty, but you don’t watch this movie because of its script. It’s the performances that carry the day. The more he ages, the more Sam Shepard can find roles that suit his acting chops. Matthew McIcanneverspellhisnameright carries the load on this movie and does a fine job. I’ll never understand the appeal of Reese Witherspoon, but she isn’t on the screen too much. A little edgy and rusty, Mud is my kind of feel good movie. Tags: Neckbone, how do you get a nickname like that; what is this, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea; that’s as fine an exegesis of the song Help Me Rhonda as I’ll ever hear; this doesn’t make me want to vacation in Arkansas; damn, even the foreshadowing has foreshadowing in this thing. April 27, 2013 at 7:51am My Week With Marilyn 3.98 out of 5.00 Very sweet entertainment with fine acting. A Stu kind of movie. Doesn't take itself too seriously. Keeps it light. Professionally done. The success of this movie all depends on Michelle Williams, who hits every note and then some in her portrayal of Marilyn Monroe. The direction is smooth and careful, the cinematography gets an A plus, and aside from a little forced plotting and a few crummy lines, this movie is splendid and a lot of fun. Most of the dialogue is on target and there's even a nice memorable line, "When it comes to women, you're never too old for humiliation." Ain't that the truth. I could watch movies like this one and The Artist at least a few times and still find them enjoyable. Dear Hollywood: make more movies like this please. 73 Tags: Eton seems to show up in both crossword puzzles and English movies with high frequency; the comically done makeup on Judith Dench must weigh five pounds; I'm starting to see the appeal of having a chauffeur; you can't do better for good schmaltz than Nat King Cole singing Autumn Leaves. February 1, 2012 at 2:36 pm Nate and Margaret 0.73 out of 5.00 This thing looks like a student film done by a 19 year-­‐old semi-­‐talented kid. It's very low budget. The script is flabby and much of the dialogue is poorly improvised. The plot is very, very basic. It's more or less about the battle between friendship and lust. A gay kid's best friend is a 52 year-­‐old neighbor and asexual female standup comic. The kid falls in lust with another guy about his age. Tensions in his friendship develop. In this movie, friendship wins, but I can't understand why. If lust would have won, I wouldn't have understood why either. I wouldn't have cared either way. I'm scratching my head as to how this got any kind of review in the NYT, much less a positive one. Tags: (at the eight minute mark) I don't like either of the characters; (at the 23 minute mark) Sufjan Stevens should sue the guy who wrote this score; (at the 30 minute mark) plot is a good thing, so is crisp dialog, and this movie has neither; (at the 45 minute mark) I'm picking up my guitar and working on a Em9 to GM7 transition until it sounds clean so I can say I got something positive out of this movie. September 24, 2012 at 6:51am Natural Selection 1.68 out of 5.00 There is a very nice set piece at about the 56 minute mark involving the two main characters that lasts for two minutes and suggests that the young director/writer of this ultra-­‐low budget indie film has some promise, but other than that Natural Selection is pretty much just plain awful. The script is highly derivative of the Coen brothers. The director/writer doesn't like many of his characters -­‐ the ones who are Evangelical Christians, especially -­‐ and hatred never makes for good or subtle humor. There isn't enough of a script to last for 90 minutes and to make up for the lack of dialogue and action, there are many minutes of long shots of scenery. The soundtrack is irritating. File this one under student films that should never get attention or distribution, yet for some unexplainable reason get positive reviews from a handful of major critics. Tags: the male lead, poor thing, has to look like a crash victim through the whole damn movie; I wish I could turn the soundtrack off and still get the dialogue; rule number one in script writing is to never ever have a male character brag about the strength of his sperm and then use that statement to drive a major plot element; this movie seems more like a pinball game than a real story. November 23, 2012 at 8:11am 74 Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian You rated this movie: 2.0 There have been a lot of movies like this as of late. I think it started with Shrek. You mix camp with a cheesy sentimental plot, and then add a lot of popular culture references. If you liked Shrek, you’ll probably like this one too. But for me – I saw this one on an airplane – it’s tedious and predictable. I don’t understand the appeal of Ben Stiller. This is the only movie I’ve seen where I haven’t liked Amy Adams, who looks bored in her part. When the bad guy has a speech defect for comic relief, you know you’re in for infantile comedy. You wrote this on 2009-­‐10-­‐07 Nine Lives You rated this movie: 2.0 Dreadful, 100 percent chick flick that even my wife – who picked this one – didn’t like. There are nine short films here, each about a different woman. One of them – which features Kathy Baker – is actually quite good. As for the rest, they are completely unbelievable and sophomoric. The dialogue is mawkish. Visually, the film, I guess, is unique because each short film is done with a single shot. The camera moves around in an unsettling way. OK, so what? There are top-­‐notch actresses here trying hard to make all this stuff interesting. I felt sorry for every one of them for picking this project. This film is pretentious, non-­‐literate hoo hah. The one good thing is that next time we watch a film, it’s my turn to pick! I’m thinking…zombie movie. You wrote this on 2010-­‐07-­‐12 $9.99 You rated this movie: 3.0 I watched this movie with my wife, who tends to like cerebral mood pieces as long as they aren’t too unrelentingly depressing or violent, and my sister-­‐in-­‐law, who likes feel good mega-­‐sellers like The Blind Side. My wife lasted about 10 minutes before she went off to knit in another room. She commented that the animated characters looked depressingly ugly and disturbing. My sister-­‐in-­‐law kept watching, but would look at me with a slightly wan exasperated look every now and then and say, “I don’t get it.” As for me, I kept watching and thought this isn’t bad, the dialogue is quite good, and the story is inventive if a bit sophomoric. This is the kind of movie that comes from the mind of someone who hasn’t gotten past college philosophy classes. The story is laden with dyspepsia and is a mash up of Israeli mood with Australian daily culture. There are a number of stories intertwined here and all of them take place in one apartment building. There’s a battling young couple, a soccer crazy kid and his dad, another dad with his two grown sons, a supermodel and her lover, and an old lonely man who receives a strange visitor. The mix of magical realism and animation works well. But overall, it’s depressing, so much so, that I didn’t have any urge to watch the two extra shorts on the DVD. I can’t say this was enjoyable, but over the length of this movie, there were about 30 minutes worth of inventive and interesting material. 75 You wrote this on 2010-­‐06-­‐13 No Man’s Land You rated this movie: 4.0 This movie is a very theatrical look at the nature of personal conflict during war. The humor is mordant, as it should be. The infantile hostility between the major characters rises and falls unexpectedly and comes, of course, at the expense of humanity and rational behavior. This is the kind of movie Hollywood never makes because it requires too much intelligence. You wrote this on 2009-­‐07-­‐03 Of Gods and Men You rated this movie: 4.0 Wonderfully shot and appropriately meditative, Of Gods and Men examines the life or death decision of a group of French monks living in the Atlas Mountains of Algeria during a time when foreigners were routinely murdered by terrorists. Should these men of God go and abandon their life’s work or should they stay despite the obvious danger? Personally, these are the kinds of decisions that make me queasy given that my father’s family faced a similar decision and in the end believed wrongly that God would somehow intervene and save the righteous. Whenever I hear the phrase “God will help us” I wince and think, you’ve got to be crazy. Still, despite my lack of sympathy for people of faith, I found this film mostly captivating if a bit too long. I was able to get beyond the religious aspects and focus on the monks as human beings making decisions about the purpose of community and the purpose of life (irrespective of religion). The acting is excellent; every actor has a wonderfully expressive face. This is one of the better art house films that I’ve seen in the last two years. You wrote this on 2011-­‐07-­‐30 Page One 2.89 out of 5.00 I like the NY Times, read it most every day in fact. I'm concerned that the internet will eventually turn all news coverage into an amorphous soup of gossip. So "on paper" I should love a documentary like this. It purports to be a "you are there" look at the NY Times trying to cope with the loss of revenue caused by the emergence of internet-­‐based news sources and advertising outlets. But this documentary isn't really about that. Rather, it's mostly a hodge-­‐podge of loving portraits of NY Times employees. It feels like a high budget home movie, the "home" being the NY Times. Like almost all home movies, it's really boring except to the family being filmed. If you're a NY Times employee go ahead and watch. If not, I'd skip this one. Tags: No, I don't look as old and tired as that guy and he's younger than me, whew; most of these folks are pretty smart, very ambitious, very obnoxious and I'd never want to work with them, but they write well. January 8, 2012 at 7:41 am 76 The Pajama Game You rated this movie: 4.0 John Raitt is a major hunk and has the voice of an angel. There are some classic songs here. The dance numbers are a lot of fun. That’s the good side of this musical. The bad side is that there isn’t any chemistry between Raitt and Doris Day. The book is hokey and dated. Plus most of the songs are indeed completely innocuous and forgettable. Still in the balance this is an enjoyable piece of nostalgia if you like musical theater (and I do). The Pajama Game was made in what was truly the golden age of the American musical and the American songbook. This musical isn’t up there with the best of that era (like West Side Story and Oklahoma), but it’s better than about 90 percent of what has been produced on Broadway. The Hollywood version appears to stay close to the theatrical one and sticks with people who actually sing their own parts. It’s a good bet that if you’re a theater buff, you’ll appreciate the details in this well made, if flawed, musical. You wrote this on 2011-­‐02-­‐05 Pandora and The Flying Dutchman You rated this movie: 3.38 If you can get the restored version of this movie, it’s probably worth a view. The colors are bright and the scenery is beautiful, as is Ava Gardner (more on her later). Albert Lewin, an English professor type with a MA from Harvard, oddly was indulged by MGM to direct and write a handful of literary (read heavy with dialogue and pretentiously themed) movies. This one was based on the Flying Dutchman legend and was filmed in a gorgeous coastal town in Spain. The script is a bit odd and heavy handed, but it’s serviceable. The key problem with this film is that its lead, Ava Gardner, really can’t act and for this script to work you need someone who can show real emotion and emotional growth. Ava Gardner is about as wooden as they come with her lines. But, but, but she’s absolutely gorgeous! It seems that in every scene she’s wearing a new amazing dress (how they kept some of those spare, diaphanous things from falling off her body is testimony to a great wardrobe crew, no doubt). Most of the scenes are principally about the camera lingering on her face and curves. She does light up the screen. She just should never talk. What a glamourpuss she was, one of the best of all time. I’d say this film works best as a wonderful Ava Gardner fashion show and is visually a lot of fun even when Ms. Gardner isn’t included in the scenery. Just don’t expect anything in the way of real drama and you’ll have a good time. Tags: That black dress must be held on by glue; Ava is horrible but I can see why the bullfighter fell in love with her on the set; there are flames on my car; oh my what big tires you have; is James Mason supposed to look weary or is he just bored and how would I know the difference. You wrote this on 2011-­‐10-­‐01 Pariah 3.83 out of 5.00 77 There's a lot of good stuff going on here that makes this movie a cut above. No, the script doesn't shine and this is a low budget hand-­‐held camera kind of thing, but the narrative rings true and the story is a bit different. A black Brooklyn high school teen, although confident and intelligent, has a difficult path coming out as gay. She has to overcome her loving father's deliberate obtuseness about her sexuality and her deeply religious mother's belief that "God doesn't make mistakes." What's particularly well done here is that while the lead character's own troubles are there from the get go, the cracks in her relationship with her family which would be palpable whether or not she was gay (as well as the problems her parents have with each other) are slowly developed. Whatever being honest in art means is present in this film. It's a little clunky in its construction and sometimes a bit obvious, but overall this movie is well worth watching. Tags: Gadzooks, an urban high school in the movies with good teachers and kids that aren't shooting each other, how can that be; this movie has absolutely zero product placement, even the beer is unlabeled; the food these people are eating is truly awful; I'm glad I didn't make any popcorn. May 27, 2012 at 4:00 pm Paris You rated this movie: 3.0 Three stars simply because of Juliette Binoche, who plays the world’s most gorgeous soccer mom. I saw this on a plane on a 6” screen, so if there was great cinematography, I of course missed that. In terms of the story there’s really not much there. The writer/director is by and large unsuccessful at weaving together all the little vignettes that make up this movie. The two male leads that play brothers are way too old for their parts. The male lead -­‐ who has a heart problem -­‐ is kind of painful to watch because he doesn’t say much and just looks like…he’s sick. There is a lot of smooching, always a plus in my book. These people really do know how to smooch, too. So maybe three stars for that. But all and all, this one is light and inconsequential. You wrote this on 2010-­‐05-­‐21 Pelotero 3.33 out of 5.00 A documentary about Dominican Republic kids desperately trying to be signed to fat MLB contracts at the age of 16, Pelotero is a little too slow and a little too nerdy for all but the true baseball fan. If you're the kind of person who goes to about 15 to 20 MLB games a year and notices things like how a batter almost steps out of his shoes when he gets a slider and expects a fastball (me), then Pelotero will be worth a view. Others will find Pelotero more than a bit of a yawn. Pelotero uses the format of a lot of contemporary documentaries (Wordplay, Spellbound, Every Little Step) in that it follows the lives of participants in a grueling contest where the stakes are high and winners are few. The problem here is that the focus is only on two people and 78 ultimately, both are kind of robotic. There just isn't enough human drama going on to maintain the interest of the non-­‐baseball fan. Tags: I never knew the Dominican Republic was so flat; when I was sixteen, baseball wasn’t on my mind at all; without Latin players MLB today would definitely be awful; they're right, there's no way that kid is sixteen, he's eighteen at least. November 10, 2012 at 9:01am The Perks of Being a Wallflower 3.56 out of 5.00 There was a time when I loved coming of age movies. I was young. They resonated. Then I hated coming of age movies. I was in my 30s and 40s. I didn’t care about teenagers with pimples except for my own kid and her friends. Now I kind of like these movies again. Who knows why? The Perks, which takes place in the 1990s, has all the standard plot of a coming of age movie. There's love lost, found, lost, and found again. There's the angst of growing up. There's a soundtrack of hits; in this case the budget for the hits was big and the sounds -­‐ 70s, 80s, and 90s stuff -­‐ are damn solid (put together by the queen of soundtrack makers for TV, Alexandra Patsavas). It isn't a great movie and avoids verisimilitude. The actors, all with ivory skin, are way too old for their parts and the wardrobes of the girls are the high style stuff of Vogue ads. There’s also a level of cheapness to the script, which substitutes melodrama (child abuse and mental illness to name two elements crudely used) for real character development. But The Perks borrows heavily from the John Hughes teen movies of the 1980s, which isn't a bad thing. It unabashedly smooths over the real grit of teenage life to make an old fashioned, stylized version of the real world. Some would call it phony. For me, it was entertaining. The acting is solid as is the dialog. Emma Watson is gorgeous in all her outfits. Visually, this is also a satisfying movie, which is surprising; the director is a first timer who wrote the novel the movie is based on. If you want a pleasant night at the movies, The Perks will work. If you want the pain of real life, it won’t. Tags: That Crowded House song, Don't Dream It's Over, is probably the best pop song of the 1980s; if you can make Pittsburgh look beautiful, you can make anything look beautiful; a change of seasons in a coming of age movie, with real snow and everything, now that's a pleasant change of pace; what do they put in those Mass wafers to make them taste so good, anyway. October 8, 2012 at 7:39am Peter Seeger, The Power of Song 4.12 out 5.00 It's a hagiography, yes, but Pete Seeger is fully deserving of one. The man is pure inspiration and here you get a warm, intimate look at his family (his wife is the true saint it seems) mixed with some great footage of Pete and other musical/cultural icons from the 1920s on up. Everybody interviewed looks happy and serene. Even 79 when Pete talks about riots associated with his demonstrations and concerts, he sounds cheery and optimistic. The man is a force of nature. Sure, he was two decades late in leaving the Communist Party, but no one is perfect (except for Pete Seeger's wife, maybe). He even sings in a decent precise Hebrew. What's his secret? I think it's the following: don't drink, don't smoke, and avoid nightclubs. Do I get any points for one out of three? For me, this is the definition of a feel good documentary. You'll want to pick up your guitar after and sing a song. You'll want to make the world a better place. But if you do, I only ask that you work hard on singing in tune, please. Pete could do it. So can you! January 16, 2012 at 8:08 pm Please Give You rated this movie: 4.0 One of the more thoughtful movies I’ve seen this year with also some of the most terse and sharp dialogue. Nicole Holofcener is on the literate side of movie making. Characters and motivation matter to her much more than visuals. In many ways, I would describe her as a female and American version of Mike Leigh. It’s not a style that will suit every moviegoer, but it works for me. The ensemble cast works well together. I wouldn’t say that any of the performances stand out save for one, that of the cranky and unintentionally funny grandmother. But everyone holds his or her own and there are some difficult roles here to carry convincingly. Perhaps more than most Holofcenter movies, this one has more than a trifle of a story. There’s a real arc to the plot. Please Give is a satisfying, quiet, true to life film about relationships in urban America today. You wrote this on 2010-­‐06-­‐05 Please Vote For Me You rated this movie: 5.0 A very enjoyable documentary that affords an eye opening look at Chinese culture. A third grade class in an upper crust (for China) school gets to be the first class ever to elect their class monitor. Three children are selected as possible candidates by the school: one shy girl, one eight year old glad handler beaming with confidence and with the gift of gab (who seemed to me to be a pint sized version of Bill Clinton), and a strong silent type (the son of the local police chief). The dirty tricks of these oh-­‐so-­‐young politicians and the parental meddling are surprisingly very funny. Each candidate rides an emotional roller coaster until the votes are cast. But this film is also very educational, showing the strong emphasis on the we rather than the I in Chinese culture. That emphasis conflicts a bit with the doting of the parents. If you’re at all interested in Chinese culture or in elementary school education, I highly recommend this film. You wrote this on 2010-­‐12-­‐30 Prisoner of Paradise You rated this movie: 3.0 The life examined in this documentary would likely make a wonderful novel or fictionalized drama. A larger than life figure with an ego to match, Kurt Gerron had 80 to face a tragic choice: should he help the Nazis and use his great talent to direct a film glorifying life in a concentration camp or should he sacrifice his life by saying no. But in this biography, we never quite get inside the head and heart of Gerron. He’s a distant figure, and because the creators of this film decided to strictly stick with what little facts are known, we get a factually correct but ultimately thin and unsatisfying movie. The visuals are solid and there is, thankfully, minimal use of talking heads. But ultimately, this film is too clinical to allow for emotional engagement. You wrote this on 2010-­‐08-­‐02 The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio You rated this movie: 3.0 It’s an honest and sometimes insightful look at life for a Catholic family in the 1950s, but this movie doesn’t quite shine. The filmmakers for some reason decided to knock the ethnic aspects out of this story and make the family more generically American. As a result, a lot of potential pithiness goes unexplored, and the movie has an overall blandness. I happen to love Julianne Moore as an actress, but she’s just too ethereal and beautiful for this part. A young Kathy Bates-­‐type would have been better. Woody Harrelson, tries, but really can’t wrap his arms around his part. This film needed a little more grit and grime to be engaging and believable. You wrote this on 2010-­‐05-­‐07 Project Nim 3.76 out of 5.00 This documentary begins with the reenactment of an event that took place at an Oklahoma primate center in the 1970s. It's obvious that it's a reenactment and I think that's done on purpose. It sets the stage for a documentary that is a "reenactathon" of many events, some using an actor who is outstanding at mimicking chimpanzee behavior in a chimp suit. For me, these embellishments take away from what is otherwise a captivating story with compelling characters. In the 1970s, a Columbia professor -­‐ charismatic and more than a bit of an asshole -­‐ decided to test the idea that chimps could learn language. Project Nim documents that failed experiment and the people -­‐ mostly students -­‐ involved in the day to day work of caring for and teaching the chimp. There is ample footage of all of them from the 1970s and many insightful interviews with the participants, some heart wrenching. The team involved in this documentary used a similar approach -­‐ reenactments mixed with interviews -­‐ with an earlier movie, Man on a Wire, which is one of the better documentaries I've seen over the last several years. Here, there seems to be so much available old footage of everyone, including the chimp, that all the effort at reenacting the past seems like a crutch. Still, it's hard to kill such a good story and Project Nim is definitely worth a view. February 20, 2012 at 7:54 am The Puffy Chair 1.08 out of 5.00 81 The premise here is fine. A failure of a son, bitter over his failure as a rock musician, goes on a road trip with his girlfriend (who definitely could do better) to give a birthday present to his dad. But then there is the script. Basically there is none, just off the cuff rambling in set scene after set scene where the characters say "dude" all the time. Then there is the character development. There's none of that either. The lead characters are hopelessly immature and stay that way. It's not that this movie was made on a microscopic budget that's the problem here. It's that the brothers who made this film are lazy writers, lazy filmmakers, and lazy actors. According to quite a few film critics, all this laziness produces a fresh approach to moviemaking (or maybe the chutzpah of going public with something so slight is admirable). Sorry no. The Puffy Chair is to comedy what Blair Witch is to horror: low budget, irritatingly unintelligent and inane. July 7, 2012 at 6:25 am Punching the Clown 2.39 out of 5.00 Punching the Clown is nominally about the struggles of a musician/comedian, Henry Phillips. The character is reality based. Henry Phillips has a real act, has played around the country, and has had some fairly major TV gigs. He's actually genuinely funny. But his fictionalized struggles are all kind of silly and unbelievable. The script is non-­‐existent; the actors just babble off the cuff. There is no story here. What saves this movie from total tedium are the many snippets from Phillips' live act, which often made me laugh out loud. The film was made for 140K. As should be expected given the lack of money, the acting is bleh, and the camera shakes so much you feel like you're looking out the window of a Ford Pinto on a gravel road. This movie needed a bigger budget, a much, much bigger one to cover over story mistakes and at least create something interesting to watch visually. Tags: Henry Phillips is so pale that I wonder if he's ever seen the sun in the last 20 years; everyone in this movie smokes, now that's a stretch; it takes a lot of guts to go on a stage with an acoustic guitar and try to make people laugh; this is supposed to be a crappy gig, but let me tell you if I consistently would have gigs with audiences like this one, I'd be out there playing out every week and be happy as a clam. June 24, 2012 at 7:44 am The Queen of Versailles 3.87 out of 5.00 The ultimate I-­‐can’t-­‐take-­‐my-­‐eyes-­‐off-­‐this-­‐train-­‐wreck movie. Jackie Siegel was featured in a chapter of a recent business book about the catastrophic decline of the super-­‐rich after the 2008 crash, The High Beta Rich. She seemed both colorful and, quite frankly, unbelievable in that book. But in this movie she is very real and she’s every bit as delightfully and disarmingly nuts as she was in that book (and then some). Jackie Siegel is The Queen of Versailles, the trophy wife of The Time Share King, David Siegel. When the documentary begins, this billionaire couple is in the 82 middle of building their paean to bad taste and excess, a 70,000 square foot replica of the Palace of Versailles plopped down in the middle of Florida. It’s about halfway completed when the 2008 crash hits and David Siegel’s time share kingdom almost instantly unravels. The documentary is mostly about how the couple lives under the constant stress of creditors. Jackie does her best to pretend it isn’t happening. David seems to spend every waking hour and then some trying to line up new financing; a man with Hobbesian ethics, he somehow is shocked that banks always act in their self-­‐interest. The couple’s home staff of 19 is reduced to 4. Their seven kids run around in a feral state. Their umpteen white dogs, who never ever seem to bark, crap all over the house. The family is crass, unthinking, unintellectual, and generally awful and despicable. But it’s also true that in some unexplainable way (at least to me) they are also down to earth and likable. Maybe it’s because even though they are selfish, shallow and egotistical, they aren’t inherently evil. Instead, they are oddly, pleasantly and consistently delusional. That’s my best guess. I’d entertain other guesses. The Queen of Versailles is Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous turned on its head. I don’t envy this couple. Rather, I feel simultaneously repulsed by and sorry for them. The film is shot in a haphazard way, but the sloppiness seems to fit well with the mess these people make of their lives. Tags: those silicone boobs are grotesque and I’m going to have to close my eyes every time the camera zooms in on them; how can someone so smart be so unaware; these kids are all being raised to be the next Paris Hilton; all this money and there’s no art anywhere, a Bill Paley he isn’t; this guy’s idea of charity is to donate 25K to the Miss America Pageant, unbelievable; Orlando seems to be Las Vegas with humidity and without gambling. Monday, December 10, 2012 at 7:16am Rango You rated this movie: 4.0 Just for a meter of where I stand on CGI movies, Toy Story 1 and 3 were grand as well as Ratatouille and Chicken Run. Shrek was a definite no. Now on to the review. Rango isn’t quite a Toy Story 1 or Ratatouille in terms of inventiveness, but it is a fun, if quirky, ride of a movie. You have to suspend your disbelief enough to make Jimmy Stewart (the movie borrows heavily from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence) into a lizard sheriff in the Old West. Then you have to like faux existential dilemmas. If all that is too much silliness for you to bear (and no kid under 10 will likely find this movie very much fun) then you wont like this movie. But if you’re a Rocky and Bullwinkle fan, I’d give this one a go. The sight gags are very funny. The animation is amazingly detailed. The movie never takes itself too seriously and stays away from being sappy. You can also have a lot of fun trying to identify the old movies that are being mimicked here. I’d call this one a good date movie for a couple that loves silliness mixed with a little fractured philosophy or a family movie if your kids are in the 10-­‐14 range. You wrote this on 2011-­‐03-­‐06 83 Ratatouille You rated this movie: 5.0 This is the best animated film I’ve seen in quite some time. It may be that I’ve never seen a better one. First off, the quality of the animation is incredible, especially the panoramas of the city of Paris. This is just plain outstanding visualization, folks. Then there is the story, which is inventive with many surprises along the way. I was caught up in the story of the rat who wanted to be a chef (I can’t believe I just wrote that sentence, but it’s true). After the credits ended, my first impulse was to want to see the movie again. Ratatouille is fantastic entertainment from start to finish. You wrote this on 2007-­‐08-­‐05 Restrepo You rated this movie: 4.0 War is hell and this documentary films that hell with visceral poignancy. Restrepo doesn’t try to make judgments about the Afghanistan War and its purpose. Rather it’s a documentary in the truest sense, recording in great detail what it’s like to be an American soldier in action. There is no effort to try to make these soldiers look heroic although they are clearly brave, serious, and skilled men. I’m old enough to remember similar footage from Vietnam shown nightly on the evening news and how it turned Americans against the war. That footage was the reason the military has been against allowing film crews like the one here access to subsequent conflicts. There is no way you can make real battle scenes look heroic even in a just and good war. In the case of Afghanistan where the goals of war are at best ambiguous, this film – not by design – provides a counterweight to military and presidential rhetoric. Brave men are stuck in an outpost on the edge of a valley controlled by the Taliban. They do their jobs to the best of their ability. But the rationale for having these people risk their lives is dubious. This is ultimately a very tragic film. You wrote this on 2011-­‐09-­‐30 Robot and Frank 3.91 out of 5.00 Definite Stu kind of movie. Funny. Pretty smart. Entertaining. But first and foremost it involves two words: Frank Langella. Oh my, the man can act. Here Langella is a retired high-­‐end burglar with Alzheimer’s disease. Set in the "near future," the plot involves his developing relationship with a health care robot bought for him by his son. The inside joke is that the actors who play Langella's two grown children -­‐ James Marsden and Liv Tyler -­‐ are robotic actors, although they are gorgeous. But then there is Susan Sarandon, who does a fine job as a librarian. The big plot twist -­‐ I won't give it away -­‐ is solid and drives most of the movie. Subsequent twists don't quite work, but that's no great sin. Every once in a while some real grit emerges from the dialogue that’s both surprising and welcome. Langella inhabits his character in charming, nuanced ways. The whole movie is one fine acting lesson. The one big caution I'd give is that if you're dealing with a parent who has Alzheimer’s, you might find the light and comic treatment of the disease painful to watch. 84 Tags: Audis better be more sophisticated in the near future than shown here otherwise they’re going to have zippo sales; I’d like a robot, too, but I want one that purrs and has fur; why does this movie remind me of Sleeper again and again. September 23, 2012 at 6:56am Ruby Sparks 4.02 out of 5.00 Definite Stu kind of movie. Whimsical, funny and carefully done, Ruby Sparks is a pretty smart piece of entertainment. The budget is low, but the supporting cast is fantastic. Special props go to Annette Benning and Antonio Banderas, who steal scene after scene. The leads do a decent job as well. The premise here is simple and at face value sounds trite. A writer's fictional creation pops into real life and becomes his love interest. But somehow it all works. There's a lot of fun hijinks, a good deal of laugh out loud best-­‐buddy banter between the male lead and his brother. The female lead (who is also the screenwriter) gets to show off her acting chops in obvious, but still convincing ways. I think what makes this movie believable and "sellable" to the audience is that the male lead, the writer, is realistically flawed and fairly unlikable. His less than stellar behavior keeps this comedy from turning into treacle. Tom Perrotta, unlisted in the credits, shows up briefly; if there was an Academy Award for best cameo, he'd win hands down this year, I'm certain. Minus 0.23 points for its reverential attitude toward writing and for its treatment of how the public idolizes writers. Sorry, it's not 1962 anymore; people barely know who writers are. But all in all, Ruby Sparks is a fun night at the movies. Tags: there's nothing on this guy's walls, absolutely nothing; even the name Big Sur sounds funny; who did the music supervising here, it's first rate; if I grow a beard, maybe I'll look as handsome as Antonio Banderas. August 13, 2012 at 6:12 am Safety Not Guaranteed 4.13 out of 5.00 Safety Not Guaranteed is an example of why I like small-­‐budget movies best. You can, in theory, include a hell of lot more whimsy and playfulness in a movie when you’re not trying to fill seats in 1200 theaters across the country. Lots of times these attempts strike out, but in films like Safety Not Guaranteed, Scotland, PA, Bernie, and Lars and the Real Girl the quiet humor resonates as the movie goes along, at least it does for me. Good indie movies, like Ernst Lubitsch or Billy Wilder movies of old, don’t have to include cars being blown up or constant references to blow jobs to try to keep your attention. They aren’t crude or obvious. Instead, they strive to be unique and original. In Safety Not Guaranteed, one small-­‐time reporter and two newspaper interns chase after a human interest story about a nerdy guy who claims to have found the secret to time travel. The reporter is a slacker, the interns consist of a geek who is a slave 85 to his laptop, and an outsider who has never quite found herself. There is a level of innocence to this movie that is rare today and allows the viewer to easily suspend disbelief. Safety moves along at a fast pace for an indie movie; by the fourteen minute mark the plot is laid out clearly. Everything else depends on the execution, which is solid. I say all these positive things despite the fact that the star, Mark Duplass, is one of the worst and laziest actors in movies today. He and his brother are the executive producers here, and I guess financing comes with privileges. Despite being miscast, Duplass doesn’t ruin this movie. In some ways his awkwardness in front of the camera is an asset. The rest of the cast is quite good. Safety Not Guaranteed has far more intelligent humor over its 86 minutes than most big budget comedies have in 110. Tags: what’s with the ear thing; I can see myself in that guy and that’s not a good sign; this area is actually quite beautiful and I commend the moviemakers for not dwelling on that fact; I think bumper cars may outlive me and if so, that would be good news; that’s not a zither, that’s a dulcimer. December 27, 2012 at 12:46pm Salmon Fishing in the Yemen 3.58 out of 5.00. Americans don't do movies like this, droll romantic comedies without even a hint of edginess. This is British Commonwealth kind of stuff and it can be a wonder when it all clicks, the laughs mixed with the mild-­‐mannered sweetness. Americans don't write novels like this either and Salmon Fishing is based on a recent British novel that's a fun, light, coast-­‐to-­‐coast airplane read. When the movie follows the book closely, which it does for the first hour, it's crisp and fresh. Ewan McGregor and Emily Blunt make this romance seem more like a buddy movie, which is actually a good thing. Kristin Scott Thomas is jaw-­‐droppingly good in her comic role (I'm guessing it’s based on a real-­‐life Brit who is well known in the UK) as a super-­‐mom/super pol. Somewhere around the one hour mark, though, Salmon Fishing, starts to sag. Most of the problem, I think, is due to the problematic ending of the book, which is very prudish and not at all suitable for a big budget romantic comedy. Rightly, the screenwriter went in another direction. But the execution of this different ending follows predictable romantic movie rules and you get a sense that the dialogue turns so godawful that the leads start to have a very hard time reciting their lines. All in all, Salmon Fishing is a spot on funny one-­‐hour entertainment and the last forty minutes aren't so off putting as to wreck the show. Tags: Emily Blunt is having a fun time getting to be a glam girl; I can't tell if that Scottish accent is authentic; minus 0.2 points for the worst big budget soundtrack in many, many moons; I'm so happy this thing doesn't star Hugh Grant. November 24, 2012 at 8:18am Searching For Sugar Man 86 4.18 out of 5.00. I can’t imagine anyone not liking this documentary. It’s as simple as that. This feel good story defies god and human nature. I don’t want to give too much away because I don’t want to spoil it. A Detroit pop musician from the early 1970s, Rodriguez, is unknown everywhere but in South Africa. Somehow in South Africa he has a fan base that has been steady for decades. Two of those fans go searching for Rodriquez. What they find will surprise and delight. Ultimately, this is far more than a feel good story. It’s one of the best examinations of the essential interplay between artist and audience I’ve seen. I don’t like the style the makers of this documentary use. There are far too many reenactments for my taste, but you can’t kill a story like this. This movie reminded me about a time I did a gig in Cincinnati, just a solo thing. I was expecting to have a normal lousy bar gig. I walked in. The place was packed. I started to play. The crowd was so quiet and respectful that I thought I was in a church. They applauded like crazy between songs. After that show, they bought a ton of CDs and asked for autographs. I didn’t know what the hell was going on. Later I found out that a local radio station had been playing my CD like crazy. I was big in Cincinnati. Who knew? Tags: Detroit is grim, yes, but it isn’t 100% grim; this guy should quit playing music and instead go to Las Vegas and start playing poker; we all should have such grace. February 5, 2013 at 7:24am The Secret of Arrietty 4.08 out of 5.00 I have a thing for little people. When I was a kid I used to pretend there was a little person in my school lunch Jello. As I took bite after bite, the little person would go to another part of the dish. I'd always leave a spoonful in the dish so I wouldn't eat him. So I should like a film about little people and of course I do. The plot of this movie is an amalgam of the 1950s childrens book series The Borrowers and is charming as anything. It's a story about a family of little people -­‐ three inches or so tall -­‐ that live inside the house of a family of "beans," aka big people like you and me. Unlike almost all kids movies today, Arrietty is subtle and emphasizes beauty over sound volume. The pace is gentle and the animation, oh my, it's superb. The Secret of Arrietty, a Japanese effort, puts most any American animated movie to shame. There is a level of artistry here that is inspiring. Grab your kids, your grandkids, your nieces and nephews and see this thing on the big screen. It would be a shame if you waited to see it on the little screen at home. And if you still eat Jello, leave a little piece in the dish so you don't end up swallowing a little person. Tags: This international style -­‐ a mix of Western and Asian images -­‐ is kind of like a visual Esperanto; those ladybugs are as cute as a bug; how on earth do they do that; this movie must have employed 1,000,000 animators. February 21, 2012 at 7:30 am 87 The Secret of Kells You rated this movie: 3.0 If a movie were all about visuals, I’d rate this one as excellent. But a movie needs a story as well, and this is where The Secret of the Kells falls short. It’s probably an adequate tale for a 10 year old. An adult watching this thing (or at least an adult like me) will end up bored and will wince over the clunky plot transitions. On the plus side, the animation is quite beautiful. Also, I learned about the Book of Kells and this movie gave me a hankering to see the actual book one day. But the fictional back-­‐
story as to how the Book of Kells was actually created is a snooze. This is the kind of movie you can watch with your kid and he’ll probably like it. As you watch your mind will probably wander off more often than not. You wrote this on 2011-­‐03-­‐16 The Secret in Their Eyes You rated this movie: 3.0 This is a real hodgepodge of an Argentinean film. Part buddy movie, part hot Latin romance, part political crime whodunit, I think there is way too much going on here to make a coherent and satisfying story. Still it’s all very watchable, if a bit too long. A crusty retired cop with a warm heart tries to write a novel about an old crime case, and unexpected things happen along the way. Much of the film is in flashback mode, and is filled with jokey/serious cop/judge banter that seems borrowed from American crime TV shows. Then there is the longstanding unrequited love between the cop and his former boss that weighs heavily throughout. I think that the acting manages to overcome the overcooked script. Some of the performances shine and the strong Latin influences allow this movie to rise above most in the cop/buddy movie genre. If you like foreign crime films, you might find this one interesting. If you’re more of a mainstream film goer, I’d stay away. You wrote this on 2010-­‐11-­‐29 The Secrets You rated this movie: 2.0 Yentl goes lesbo. That’s this movie in a nutshell with the qualifier that the lesbo part is very arty and tasteful. There are many movies and plays (far too many) where the acting is leagues above the script. That’s the case here. The dialogue is stilted (in Hebrew or in English, take your pick). The characters are stock “types” and move around the plot like chess pieces. Ultimately, this film isn’t intelligent. If the production values weren’t so low budget and the actors weren’t speaking in Hebrew, this would be standard Hollywood faire: take a serious subject and trivialize it, making sure you have very pretty people playing the parts (the “fat” girl in the movie is maybe 10 pounds overweight) who take their clothes off now and then. While watching this movie, I felt sorry for the actors, who somehow had to breathe life into this thing. You wrote this on 2009-­‐06-­‐18 A Separation 88 4.43 out of 5.00 No you won't want to travel to Iran after this. And you'll find that Iranian movies have product placement too. In this case, it's Ahmad Assam Tea, which can be found on Amazon if you're interested. You're not going to find a happy ending. Actually, you might end up depressed as hell after watching this Iranian version of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf (with children added so they can be damaged by the stupidity of their parents). But in terms of slice of life, high-­‐tension family dramas, you won't find many movies better than A Separation. An educated middle class couple on the outs clashes with a devout poor family over the poor wife's care of the middle class family's senile grandfather. The battle escalates and the couples wind up in criminal court airing their grievances. Money, honor, and a potential prison term are at stake. The children of both families are cruelly pushed and pulled by their parents. No one can seem to rise above petty desires even for an instant. A Separation provides a window into life in modern Iran that I've never seen anywhere else. It also provides a devastating narrative of just how couples and families can go wrong. Tags: This movie is too depressing to add tags, sorry. February 4, 2012 at 8:40 pm A Serious Man You rated this movie: 2.0 Beevis and Butthead do Job. This is a very non-­‐serious movie, a sophomoric look at a story that has been examined by many serious people for many, many years. Right from the start, something is very wrong. The movie opens with a non sequitur, a pseudo-­‐Yiddish fable set somewhere in the Jewish Pale. The lead has no command of the Yiddish; he’s just mouthing a transliteration. The Chassidic rabbi speaks with a Lithuanian accent. The tale is something out of Zombieland. The movie then fast-­‐
forwards to the American Midwest, circa 1967. This is a territory I know well. I lived this life. In an episodic way, the Coen Brothers try to create a dream-­‐like, modern, satiric look at Job. Ignoring all the Jewish self-­‐loathing in this movie, making a satire of Job is a lousy idea. It isn’t funny. Neither is this movie. The Coen Brothers are very hit and miss type of filmmakers. They do best when they keep it light. This one is a definite miss. You wrote this on 2010-­‐02-­‐27 The Sessions 3.79 out of 5.00 The subject matter of The Sessions isn’t easy to carry off in the form of a movie. A man in an iron lung most of the day, unable to move below his neck, wants to have sex and hires a sex surrogate. But he also desires love, the intimate kind of love that perhaps only sex partners can have. A movie with this kind of set up can easily turn maudlin and sappy. Or it might turn into an unintentional sick parody. The Sessions manages to avoid those pitfalls and tells a story simply and well. There are some leaps in the plot and some jokey lines that are way too predictable, but all in all The 89 Sessions is a solid, affecting, and very well acted movie. The casting director has found some great faces for this small budget pic, and the leads, both John Hawkes and Helen Hunt, shine. Tags: For some reason this thing keeps reminding me of another difficult movie to carry off, A Special Day, with the exception being that Mastroianni and Loren are both way prettier to look at than either Hawkes or Hunt; who knew an iron lung could be such a babe magnet; whew, he didn’t break out of character and get up and dance after his first O; now that was very sweet, truly. February 24, 2013 at 7:35am Seven Psychopaths 1.14 out of 5.00 I could have been a doctor, but I really do hate the sight of blood. I could like violent movies if they only talked about killing people or engaged in pillow fights instead of gun fights. Seven Psychopaths is a violent movie. A head literally gets blown off. That's supposed to be funny. You need to understand that Seven Psychopaths is supposed to be a violent, blood-­‐filled comedy. Hahahahaha. But in truth, the movie is an infantile, incoherent mess. It isn't funny. It's some emotionally stunted thing. There are seven vignettes, more or less, about people who love to murder other people. There is a half-­‐assed effort to tie those vignettes together. Imagine a bright twelve year old boy wanting to make a movie after seeing Pulp Fiction a dozen times; then imagine him miraculously finding financing after miraculously assembling a stellar cast. The end result would be something akin to Seven Psychopaths. I don't know how movies like this get financed much less get positively reviewed. Remember that scene in True Romance -­‐ a very good movie despite all the violence -­‐ where Christopher Walken listens to Dennis Hopper expound about the origin of the Sicilians before Walken kills Hopper? It was two minutes of pure joy. I couldn't find a collective two minutes of decent movie making in this entire movie. Tags: Manohla Dargis of the NYT called this movie "sporadically funny" and someone needs to revoke her critics license; Mick LaSalle, I should have listened to you, really should have; poor Christopher Walken always has to act like he has screws loose in order to make a living; while title-­‐based songs are often wonderful, no one should ever write a movie script using the title as the central idea; a movie within a movie, why hasn't anyone ever thought of that before; the Vietnamese Anti-­‐
Defamation League should have been all over this script; Collin Farrell's eyebrows need to be chopped down and if that doesn't work they should try Agent Orange. November 14, 2012 at 8:50am The Shawshank Redemption You rated this movie: 5.0 This is an old-­‐fashioned kind of story, the kind of movie that could have been made with James Cagney and Spencer Tracy way back when. Like movies of old, the script is dialogue heavy, but unlike movies of old, this one decides it’s OK to let the mood stew. The narrative keeps you interested and sure, your heartstrings are pulled, but 90 that’s more than OK. Very sweetly made movie with excellent visuals and acting and a nice little twisteroo at the end. If your date doesn’t like this one, it’s time to move on to another potential partner. He or she must not have a heart. You wrote this on 2009-­‐05-­‐04 Silver Linings Playbook 4.01 out of 5.00 It took me over a year to see this movie and I should have watched it sooner. In a lot of ways, Silver Linings Playbook is an excellent remake of Moonstruck. It’s an urban romantic comedy with an unlikely quirky couple that features an iffy actor – Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings, Cher in Moonstruck – who rises to the occasion and is surrounded by top flight performances. In Silver Linings, there is the added complication of mental illness, but that aspect is sanitized to keep the movie light and zany. Jacki Weaver is God’s gift to acting. Robert De Niro performs like he hasn’t in decades. Jennifer Lawrence is the best new actress to come along in a decade at least. Even people who only deliver a line or two manage to chew up the scenery. Silver Linings snaps and pops with expert cutting and directing. This really is a finely made comedy with fun dialogue. Danny Elfman keeps the score down to a delightful minimum. The story line is predictable and the plot is constructed more like a steeplechase race than anything with an arc, but everything else works so well that it doesn’t matter. Tags: It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a movie with a music licensing budget this big, we’re talking about 2 mill easy; that’s easily the ugliest house in the neighborhood; Jacki Weaver, how the hell do you do that, what’s in your secret sauce; this movie could have been made in 1953 and that’s a good thing. May 9, 2013 at 7:10am The Simpsons Movie You rated this movie: 2.0 I like the TV show the Simpsons, really do. But these guys can’t make a movie. They don’t have a clue. If you are going to try, you need a coherent plot and apparently the writers don’t know about this. There is no plot here. Instead, the writers try to make their TV show into a movie by stretching the boundaries of their characters. Homer gets meaner and more self-­‐centered. Bart develops a strong need for fatherly love. Lisa falls for a boy. The little tike – sorry forgot her name – comes to the rescue time and time again. As a result, the movie not only lacks a plot, but also ends up being worse than most of the Simpson segments on TV. It’s not funny, boring beyond belief and is one of two – the other being Superbad – of the worst comedies I’ve seen in the last 12 months. If they try to make a sequel, someone should poison them. You wrote this on 2008-­‐02-­‐03 A Single Man You rated this movie: 4.0 91 A bit heavy handed with pretentious visuals, A Single Man is saved by its dialogue, which is often very sharp, and by some wonderful acting by the principles. Colin Firth hits all the right notes as a man who has lost the love of his life. Julianne Moore is splendidly over the top as an aged beauty. The interaction between these two actors is fabulous. The background music, mostly Eastern European sounding waltzes, seems out of place. The dream sequences are overdone and take the viewer away from the story. Those criticisms aside, if you want to see real grown-­‐ups interact like real adults who have experienced loss, this movie likely will appeal. You wrote this on 2010-­‐08-­‐18 Slither 1.81 out of 5.00 85% fresh, Rotten Tomatoes said. Funny horror flick was the common sentiment of the newspaper reviewers. All I can say is that there must be significant Tomatometer inflation going on. Slither is definitely a rotten tomato. I like horror movies. It goes back to watching Dr. Cadaverino on WITI in Milwaukee when I was a kid. The guy who played the evil doctor was also the station weatherman. What a dream job. Nerd during the day. Scary guy who hosted 1950s and earlier horror movies on Saturday night. If I couldn't grow up to be Dr. Cadaverino, I'd have happily taken the role of his sidekick, the headless Igor. I don't know what Igor did during the day; maybe he was the sportscaster. Anyhow, it's probably true that it's nearly impossible to make a straight horror film today. The genre is saturated with a wonderful back catalog of low budget classics that are perfect for any 12 year-­‐old boy (or 50 plus year-­‐old man with more than a little 12 year-­‐old boy in him). How exactly is anyone going to top Vincent Price in the original version of The Fly (or Return of the Fly for that matter)? Instead, moviemakers have to walk a tightrope by paying homage to past movies through parody, yet still scare the bejeesus out of the audience. It's a tough trick. The director of Slither tries to achieve this feat. But there are three problems. His references are late 70s and 80s horror flicks, hardly any of which did a thing for me (call me old fashioned). Plus he mashes them together to create his script; he mixes some Alien with Dawn of the Dead and adds a dash of Bride of Frankenstein. The story is lumpy and often incoherent. Finally, there's a certain smugness to it all; you can sense that the director really thinks he's special and is doing an absolutely fabulous job. The end result is a mess. It isn't funny. It isn't scary. It's just plain dumb and stupid. Tags: Red State bashing in horror movies is not advisable; this dialogue is three shades of awful; a Willy Wonka reference in a horror movie is a bit strange; even rural America is probably capable of assembling a SWAT team in an emergency. August 20, 2012 at 7:54 am 92 The Social Network You rated this movie: 4.0 It’s not the deepest movie in the world, but the Social Network is a lot of fun. Adam Sorkin borrows from Hamlet and Greek tragedy to create a tale of greed in the digital age. Not all of the settings or dialogue ring true, but the pace is so fast that the clunky scenes fly right by. There’s a lot of comic shtick along the way to keep the movie from getting too dreary. The director borrows action flick techniques to keep the audience alert. Finally there are the performances in the ensemble cast, which are solid except for Justin Timberlake. Unfortunately Timberlake isn’t a very good actor, but he isn’t on the screen that long so he doesn’t detract that much. I’d put this one up there with Network and Wall Street and below Clockwork Orange as a social commentary movie with some pizzazz. You wrote this on 2010-­‐10-­‐03 A Somewhat Gentle Man You rated this movie: 3.0 An offbeat and comic twist on the “thug decides to go legit” premise, A Somewhat Gentle Man has enough originality to keep things interesting even though it’s a low budget affair and not all of the Norwegian humor translates well to American taste. The movie is a bit slow going and understated for the first half hour, but it picks up its pace for the rest of the way. If you’re put off by subtitles or don’t like your humor dry, this movie will bore, but if you like Harold and Maude kind of quirk, you’ll find it at least a bit amusing. The lead actor does a splendid job. The cinematography is rudimentary. Sometimes the drama is a bit ponderous, but the movie intermittently inserts comic set pieces to keep things upbeat in a dry sort of Norwegian way. I can easily imagine this film being re-­‐made and “Hollywood-­‐ized” with some hunky guy like Christian Bale. But then the quirk would be gone and the zany elements are what make the movie worth watching. You wrote this on 2011-­‐06-­‐16 Son of Rambow You rated this movie: 4.0 Son of Rambow is a very sweet and charming comedy in the British tradition of dialogue heavy comic movies. While it’s a movie about children, it’s not at all a kids movie. There are definite holes in the plot, but that’s true in most comedies. I’d say it’s very akin in its feel and humor to the movie Hott Fuzz. Like that movie, this one is loaded with wry and ironic humor. The kids in the movie have great chemistry and there are plenty of laugh out loud scenes. Skip this one if you’re a fan of things like Something About Mary and Adam Sandler (yawn). But if you like quiet, fairly sophisticated comedy with heart, you’ll love this one. You wrote this on 2008-­‐09-­‐16 Sondheim: The Birthday Concert You rated this movie 5.0 If you are interested in musical theater, this concert is an absolute must see. The show was put together with consistent care, quality, and humor, something that is 93 rare in musical reviews like this. Then there are the performances given by an all star cast that, more often not, knocks these Sondheim songs out of the park. I was crying with joy as I watched, some of these performances are that good. Mandy Patinkin is stunningly artful, as is Donna Murphy. Then there is Elaine Stritch, who even at 80 plus, exudes 130% star power; she must have made a pact with the devil. The best is saved for last, when five women – Murphy, Peters, McDonald, Lapone, and Stritch – sit in front of the audience and take their turns playing, in a fun way, a game of can you top this. I have never seen a better review show. I probably will never see a better one in the next 20 years. This is top-­‐notch musical theater magic. You wrote this on 2011-­‐07-­‐20 The Sorrow and the Pity You rated this movie: 4.0 The big kahuna of documentary movies and probably the one that made documentaries a part of regular movie watching. I was too young to see this film when it first came out. If I were French, I think I’d find this movie incredibly emotional and moving. I don’t know that much about French history, though, and I think that some of the subtleties here are a bit over my head. Still, this is a compelling film. It strips away the myth of French resistance to German occupation in a way that no book ever could. The personal stories told are sometimes very funny and sardonic, but mostly they are chilling. This is a movie well worth watching if you’re interested in the nature of government and how people willfully shape their national identity with a mixture of facts, distorted facts and fiction. You wrote this on 2010-­‐05-­‐07 Source Code You rated this movie 3.0 Warning: I’m not really a fan of thrillers and generally can’t stand sci/fi either, but the reviews for this one touted its quality so I decided to give it a look. Jake Gyllenhaal is miscast as an action hero -­‐ going back in time to save the world from massive destruction -­‐ in this sci/fi thriller. He’s too mousy for this kind of role. Vera Farmiga, who has an arresting look, is also miscast as a special unit military officer. She’s too exotic. Jeffrey Wright gets a turn as a Dr. Strangelove kind of character and seems to have fun with it. Source Code is a paint by numbers thriller that’s certainly more logical and watchable than a similar recent movie, Inception, Like Inception, this one features an in your face, ear blasting score. The plot is a mix of The Matrix with Speed, but is more like that latter, and even features a Sandra Bullock lookalike, Michelle Monaghan. It isn’t very thrilling. The dialogue is hackneyed. It’s predictable and has no intelligence. But relative to other contemporary movies of this type, Source Code is probably a cut above. Bonus points for having some nice opening shots of Chicago. You wrote this on 2011-­‐08-­‐05 Spectacle: Elvis Costello With…: Season 1 You rated this movie: 3.0 94 Surprisingly shallow. I love Elvis Costello as a songwriter, but he looks completely out of his depth as an interviewer. The questions are not very intelligent. Costello tries to appeal by mugging for the camera. When he tries to sing some of the other performers’ songs – he doesn’t really have a decent voice – it’s like bad karaoke. The good parts are the performances and commentary from the performers. Despite the goofball approach of Costello, they often manage to be insightful. You wrote this on 2010-­‐01-­‐04 Starlet 2.34 out of 5.00 Start with Harold and Maude, a meh minus movie for me. Place it in the San Fernando Valley, make Harold a newbie porn star, make Maude crustier and meaner, put it in the present day, add annoying fuzzy, arty camera work with lots of long shots, and add industrial music. That’s Starlet. There’s a story here – a young, directionless woman befriends an older lonely widow – with plot complications, but there isn’t a much of a script and pretentiousness consistently gets in the way of making this movie worth watching. Most of the dialogue seems improvised. The actors try to do their best with what little they have, but after a while I found myself ignoring the story and feeling sorry for the people hired to work in this movie. Starlet does have a very cute dog, though, and that dog is integral to the plot. Without that dog, I don’t think I could have watched this move the whole way through. Tags: these people are all so vacuous that I want to give them brain transplants; enough washed out colors already, I get your point; there will definitely be a dog in my life one day. May 26, 2013 at 6:37am Starting Out in the Evening You rated this movie: 3.0 Frank Langella plays a Bernard Malamud type of character – a Jewish novelist at the end of his life with a devotion to his work and a strong moral backbone – with restraint, dignity, power and only a small touch of charm. It’s a wonderful performance. Lauren Ambrose, by turns his fawning and menacing young follower, is less convincing, perhaps because she has to play a character who is ultimately unlikable. The movie does not start out well. You can’t figure out whether you’re watching a cheesy kind of movie like Educating Rita or one about a twisted relationship like Fatal Attraction. A young woman insinuates herself into an old novelist’s life, hounding him to get material for her masters thesis. The dialogue between them hits false note after false note. The young woman is so obnoxious and off balance emotionally that you just want her to go away. But then the movie settles down and finds its pace. This is a very old fashioned kind of movie, an attempt to subtly portray relationships clouded by ambition. The second half of the movie is quite compelling as Langella keeps drawing you in, wanting you to know more about this solid, flawed man who will never achieve – despite hard work and having given up so much for his art – the greatness that he once thought would be his. If 95 you like literary fiction, you might be inclined to like this movie. If you aren’t a book lover, though, you’ll probably be bored. You wrote this on 2010-­‐07-­‐04 Steal a Pencil for Me You rated this movie: 4.0 I grew up listening to one horror story after another about the Shoah. Most of my family died in Belzec and in a killing field in the Ukraine. Steal a Pencil is in contrast a sweet love story under the most horrible conditions imaginable. What makes this movie work is the presence of truly compelling characters. Both the husband and wife are charming and bring life to what is a rather paint by the numbers documentary. For me, the complication of the couple’s love – he was already married when they met – made the story even more interesting. The movie – aside from the love story aspect, which is wonderful – brought home what I’ve noticed in my parents and their friends. They survived because of luck. They also survived because they were remarkable people with an incredible will to live. You wrote this on 2009-­‐07-­‐09 Stories We Tell 3.81 out of 5.00 This is a hard documentary to write about without revealing spoilers both in terms of the story and the techniques used. In Stories We Tell, the actress Sarah Polley examines the love life of her actress mother through narratives delivered by members of her family and her mom’s friends and lovers. Either through editing or not, the stories told are remarkably consistent from interview to interview. Along the way, more and more lurid details are revealed. I’m not usually a fan of who is sleeping with whom stories, but here it works well maybe because the narrators and historic footage are so low key and intimate. It’s clear that this movie wasn’t done in a hurried rush, but was organic and took place over several years. Stories We Tell has a very different feel than most documentaries in that you can sense that the director is carefully, slowly and thoughtfully putting each piece in the puzzle together. In some ways, I found the approach used and directing style more important and significant than the actual life chronicled. This is one well made movie. Tags: damn that’s how I’m going to look in 15 years; a documentary with smiling faces, how often does that happen; it’s hard to believe that this man, so quiet and reserved with such a huge interior life, is a real life actor; it is probably true that love is usually a selfish act; this is the most meta movie I’ve ever seen that wasn’t made by Orson Welles. May 19, 2013 at 6:59am Stranger than Fiction You rated this movie: 3.0 Bad casting and bad directing have ruined a very clever script. Like Eternal Sunshine and Being John M., this is a great idea for a new age left of center movie. But Will 96 Ferrell doesn’t have the acting chops to carry it off. He’s a broad comic, not someone capable of nuance, and in this picture he is so subdued that he’s a block of wood. The direction is too clean with a lot of allusions to computers and software that distract from the story. Steve Carell would have been an excellent choice for the lead, but my guess is that they chose Ferrell for his box office draw. The highlight of the movie is watching Dustin Hoffman in a supporting role. He’s so good and funny with his lines that while watching him you realize just how enjoyable this film would be if the lead actor would be up to the challenge. You wrote this on 2007-­‐04-­‐24 Submarine 3.22 out of 5.00 A sometimes amusing coming of age Welsh comedy that tries too hard to feel like Harold and Maude. The best bits are the scenes where the lead character -­‐ a male teen -­‐ interacts with his parents and his girlfriend's parents. The director chooses to show how the parents act through the distorted eyes of the kid, which is a nice touch. The worst bits involve the Woody Allen-­‐esque voice over narration of the lead character (who even sometimes uses Brooklynish cadences in his voice overs). OK, this movie isn't great, but it still beats American TV by a mile (or kilometer, since the British have gone metric). If you're sick, your brain is fried, and you need something to make you smile, this definitely will work. Tags: the sun never shines in Wales it seems, but their school system appears to be excellent; they also seem to drive quite a few gas-­‐guzzling cars and vans, who knew? April 3, 2012 at 6:01 am Sugar You rated this movie: 3.0 This almost is a very good baseball movie, but it’s flat in a number of ways. First, because the film is a character study, the lead actor has to be top notch. He isn’t. He was plucked from a pool of amateurs and he drags down the film. Second, it’s very hard to carry off something that is not about success, but personal failure. You need to be pitch (yeah, that’s a bad pun) perfect. Here, the lead character abruptly changes course in the middle of the film, and everyone, including both the audience (me) and the other characters are at a loss to understand just why. Overall, I’d say this is a very sincere attempt to look at the consequences of failed dreams and aspirations. But sincere does not automatically mean compelling. The script needed more of an arc. The acting needed to be better. You wrote this on 2009-­‐10-­‐11 Sunshine Cleaning You rated this movie: 2.0 This isn’t a comedy. It’s a lightweight quirky predictable drama, very TV-­‐like except for the odder moments involving the clean up of biohazards. The performances are decent enough. The script though goes down a well-­‐worn path and more than occasionally degrades into bathos. This film lacks basic intelligence. Sometimes 97 movies like this can make up for a bad script with a high energy level. That doesn’t happen here. A quirky setting can only get you so far in terms of maintaining interest. I’m surprised this movie didn’t go straight to DVD. You wrote this on 2009-­‐11-­‐11 Sweetgrass You rated this movie: 4.0 The word of the day is sheep as in thousands of sheep. For 100 minutes you get to watch sheep and nothing but sheep travel to a Montana alpine meadow and back for grazing, a distance of 300 miles. The only sounds in the movie consist of baahing and the occasional word or two from a handful of cowboys (sheepboys?) on horses (yes the horses make noises, too, I forgot), but those cowboys don’t say much because, well, they’re cowboys! There is no narration. There is no music (a cowboy will hum a tune now and then). Sweetgrass is a documentary in the truest sense of the word. The mic-­‐work is amazing, though, so turn up the sound way loud and this movie just might be compelling. It certainly is unique. You wrote this on 08-­‐03-­‐2011 Sweet Land You rated this movie: 4.0 OK, the script is kind of clunky with occasional off-­‐putting dialogue and a plot arc that is a bit haphazard (also the camera work can get too precious), but Sweet Land’s heart is in the right place and this film does have quite a few good things going for it. You should know that I tend to like independent, small films like this – no aliens, no space ships, no car crashes, no special effects, quiet with real people – especially if they take place in the Midwest. So I’m probably inclined to like this movie about a mail order bride from Germany who comes to Minnesota farm country during WWI. Elizabeth Reaser does a fine job as the mail order bride, a sophisticate who clashes with the plain ways of the farm community and who has to endure discrimination because of her German origins. She’s a little too beautiful (actually way too beautiful) to be completely believable, but she is nice to look at. Ned Beatty is a great bad guy. Alan Cumming is fabulous in a comical role, as per usual. The cast really is first rate and works well enough together to nearly fully overcome glitches in the script. File this one under heartwarming, sincere period pieces. Yes it’s a chick flick, but it’s suitable for most guys. You wrote this on 09-­‐30-­‐2011 Swingers 3.64 out of 5.00 I missed this one when it came out in the 1990s and watched it on a plane via my Android gizmo (a first!). Imagine a time of tape answering machines and no cell phones. Then imagine sending a mix of David Mamet's and Martin Scorcese's young bucks to Los Angeles and having all of them try to make it in TV and movies. That's what you get in this low-­‐budget dramedy. The dialogue is David-­‐Mamet-­‐minus, close to top notch and usually interesting. The friends are less violent than a young Robert De Niro or Harvey Keitel, which for me is a good thing. I hate closing my 98 eyes in movies and I'm 100% chicken when it comes to bullets. The entourage wanders around LA chasing after girls, sometimes successfully. Mostly they engage in gritty banter and if you like banter driven movies (I do), you'll probably enjoy this movie. Want a plot, thrills, chills, and sex? Skip this one and watch something like Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. There's one big surprise in this movie: Vince Vaughn. I saw him in a couple of recent comedies and thought he was a lazy actor. But here he really hunkers down and acts. Vaughn steals almost every scene. Who knew he had serious chops? Tags: This movie made me a bit nostalgic for the analog world (which is, of course, ironic since I watched it digitally); these guys are all losers, but at least they practice safe sex; they would all seriously benefit from reading a good book now and then; somehow the director has made West Hollywood look like the Bronx. May 9, 2012 at 4:35 pm Synecdoche, New York You rated this movie: 3.0 The movie is literally a dream sequence. If you buy into that – you get your first clue at about the 20-­‐minute mark that this is a dream, not reality – then this movie can be a lot of fun. But if you don’t, if you want realism or something that is close to realism in turns of logic and plot progression, then you won’t find this movie enjoyable. Visually, this movie is wonderful, but what makes it stand out is the acting. There’s just one fabulous acting performance after another by the women in this film, who each get supporting roles. I can’t think of another movie that has assembled such a strong female supporting cast. You wrote this on 2009-­‐03-­‐17 Tabloid 3.58 out of 5.00. Tabloid reminds me of another recent documentary that I think is more interesting overall, Forbidden Lie$. Both have a female sociopath as their subject. In Tabloid, the sociopath is a dog-­‐loving dominatrix who has her obsessive eye on a straight as an arrow Mormon guy. In Forbidden Lie$, the subject is a con artist and swindler who wrote a bestseller, a "true story" about forbidden love in Lebanon that was completely fabricated. In both cases, the subject is interviewed extensively and you know what? Sociopaths can make very interesting interviewees. The Forbidden Lie$ story is a bit more complex and nuanced. Plus I think the director of that film did a more careful job putting her story together. That said, Tabloid does have the lurid sex angle and who doesn't like a good sleazy sex story? Plus Tabloid's subject is truly amazing on the screen. You can't help but be mesmerized as she creates lie upon lie (or delusion upon delusion) to explain herself. Tabloid is a good, solid twisted tale that often surprises. If you don't find Errol Morris' visual style off-­‐
putting, it's probably worth a view. December 26, 2011 at 7:09 am Tell No One 99 You rated this movie: 2.0 This French movie is part mystery thriller and part soap opera. No one needs to watch a soap opera. Mysteries on the other hand can be fun. The problem with the mystery part is that it’s impossible to tell “who done it.” In the end, one of the characters has to deliver a five-­‐minute monologue solving the mystery. Sorry. That’s not how mysteries are done. You have to lay a few clues along the way. The protagonist has to get closer and closer to the truth. Then there is the satisfaction at the end when the final veil is removed. Here, the final veil is an inch thick sheet of lead. So I can’t say I liked this movie very much except everyone was good looking and easy on the eyes. Even the Telly Salvalas-­‐like cop was decent looking. But no he doesn’t suck on Tootsie Pops. The French don’t do that kind of stuff it seems. You wrote this on 2009-­‐05-­‐04 Temple Grandin You rated this movie: 3.0 If you’ve seen Temple Grandin, watched her on PBS, or read her books, this film likely will disappoint. But if her life is new to you, you probably can look past the flaws in the script and direction and find this movie engaging. Temple Grandin has indeed lived an amazing life and I encourage anyone to read her books, which are fascinating, or go see her lecture if you get the chance. She is inspiring to the max. This biopic though is a bit simplistic and saccharine; it reminds me of those Hallmark made for TV movies of the 1970s. Claire Danes gives a credible performance, but perhaps is a bit over the top in her portrayal. The script creaks with platitudes. The director chooses to add artsy visuals that take the viewer away from the story. It’s hard to make this story boring, but the filmmaker almost manages to do just that by using a heavy hand throughout. You wrote this on 2010-­‐10-­‐05 Terri 3.65 out 5.00 This thing is as low budget as the law will allow without confiscating your movie camera. The camera work is a minor step above home Super 8 and the default tempo is slow and ponderous. But, but, but, all is forgiven (even the low budget awful musical score) because of one scene that takes place in a garage involving three fifteen year-­‐olds drinking and gulping pills. It is as tender and true to life as anything you'll ever see in the movies. Talk about hitting something right on the nose. Wow. It brought up long forgotten memories instantly. Then there is John C. Reilly. He has found his niche as a salt of the earth, comic, middle-­‐aged supporting actor. Every time he's on the screen, the film goes from tedious to fun in a hurry. Don't like independent films? Stay away. But the fact is that this will be one of the better indie films I'll see this year. Tags: the black pajamas are a nice touch; the hair pulling isn't. January 1, 2012 at 10:02 pm There But For Fortune 100 You rated this movie: 3.23 At a young teen, Phil Ochs was one of my songwriting heroes. It wasn’t his politics. It was his irreverence and how prolific he was. I spent several hours with him when I was seventeen; it was one of the scariest and saddest days of my life. While it’s a decently put together documentary, There But For Fortune is, when all is said and done, disappointing. This movie is a sweetened biopic of the bipolar life of Phil Ochs. The arc of this film focuses on the protest movement of the 1960s and 1970s and Phil Ochs’ role in that movement. There But For Fortune touches on Phil Ochs’ mental problems, but ultimately tries to push the viewer into believing that if the Left had succeeded in 1968 and if Allende hadn’t been overthrown in Chile with CIA help in 1973, Ochs wouldn’t have been so bitterly disappointed. His life might have turned out far better. I don’t think so. The truth is that Ochs’ mental problems were always in the background. Ochs suffered from delusions of grandeur even when the Left was on the rise. He was, by accounts of people that I’ve talked to who knew him, a difficult personality, one with magnificent highs and awful lows. When I met him he was full blown manic. This movie would almost lead you to believe that Nixon and Kissinger were ultimately responsible for Ochs’ descent into madness. I don’t like Nixon or Kissinger, but I’m not going to blame them for the tragedy of Phil Ochs. For me, the life of Phil Ochs is a story of the toll that bipolar disorder can take on an individual and his family. Phil Ochs’ highs helped him produce a wonderful catalog of music and propelled him to fight for the causes he believed in. But it was likely and sadly only a matter of time before his demons would take over. That’s likely the real story. In this biopic we get, mixed with the excellent footage of Phil Ochs live, a romanticization of the 1960s and its protest movement. If this documentary would have focused on Phil Ochs the man more and tried less to make heroes out of Tom Hayden and Abbie Hoffman, it would have been a far better and an emotionally compelling film. You wrote this on 2011-­‐10-­‐21 There Will Be Blood You rated this movie: 2.0 Daniel Day-­‐Lewis is a wonderful actor. Paul Thomas Anderson is a horrible screenwriter. The dialogue is trite and dreadful. The arc of the plot is wobbly. Events occur randomly. Scene after scene do nothing to advance the plot or character development. The script is sub-­‐literate and lacks nuance. As I watched, I was actively rewriting the dialogue and cutting scenes in my head to keep from being bored. There’s no doubt about it. This movie is a stinker. I don’t understand the laudatory reviews from the critics across the board except for two things. First, Daniel Day-­‐Lewis can be interesting to watch even in a stinker of a movie like this. Second, I’ve spent a fair amount of time working in the area where this movie was 101 filmed and the cinematography does a wonderful job of capturing the subtle beauty of the landscape. In a nutshell, this movie is Titanic with an oil well instead of a ship. You wrote this on 2008-­‐06-­‐09 Thin Ice 1.65 out of 5.00 Thin Ice is, more or less, a con game movie. But the real con was on my family and me. The con artists? The movie critics of America who told us to expect to see a mix of the "wickedly funny" and Hitchcock-­‐level tension. We watched and out of tedium erupted with random comments. Wife: "This is the worst movie we've seen in a while. Who told you to get this thing?" Mother-­‐in-­‐law: "I give this movie a D+." Five minutes later? "I give this movie a D." Cousin of wife: "I can't watch movies like this." Five minutes later? She's asleep in her chair. Mother-­‐in-­‐law: "I guess I'll keep watching because I want to see how it ends." Father-­‐in-­‐law: "Who cares how it ends? This movie is for idiots." There's Fargo, a great movie. Then there's this thing. Same snow. Same ice. But in the end it should have been named Forgo. We all had had a great day. Because of this movie it ended with a thud. It was all my fault. I picked this turkey. It really is awful. The director hired some great actors and then gave them nothing to do. The script is from hell. Note to screenwriters: if you make someone who is the subject of a con game completely unsympathetic before the con is on, you don't have a movie. Note two to screenwriters: if you have to give five minutes of explication at the end of the movie to show how the con was done, you haven't done your job. Cousin after she woke up: "We'll never let you live this one down, Stu." My reputation for good taste has been ruined. Tags: Goddamn the movie critics of America; this movie supposedly takes place in Wisconsin but where are the Wisconsin accents; Greg Kinnear has defined a whole new character for movies, suave on the outside, sad sack on the inside. July 16, 2012 at 5:02 am This Is Not A Film 4.19 out of 5.00 A very sad and poignant documentary. Jafar Panahi, an Iranian filmmaker, is under house arrest and awaiting his appeal of a trumped up criminal charge and conviction. If the conviction isn’t reversed, he may serve six years in prison and receive a twenty-­‐year filmmaking ban. In the meantime, he sits in his home unable to make the movies that are his lifeblood. A friend and documentarian, films Panahi in this agitated state for several hours. Eventually, something has to break loose and it does. This movie is a real life version of a Beckett play. Tags: We certainly fucked this country up and it may be decades before it can be a real nation again; an iPhone can make a surprisingly good movie; a man after my own heart, he takes his tea making and drinking seriously; if you are going to run a totalitarian government, suppression of art undoubtedly is essential. 102 March 3, 2013 at 7:22am The Tillman Story You rated this movie: 5.0 This is a very difficult film to watch, but it’s also very well made and intelligent. It’s an intimate portrayal of a family that has lost a loved one through war, and refuses with strength, tenacity and dignity to let that loss be used as a phony symbol of heroism for the military. The family opens up emotionally and intellectually to such a degree that if you have half a heart you’ll end up in tears. The questions this film examines, but certainly doesn’t answer in a cut and dried way, are profound. What is the purpose of war? What does it mean to serve your country honorably? What would constitute a healthy relationship between the military and the public? Why do we insist on making myths of our battles? The film and the Tillman family have a very clear-­‐eyed view of what went on during Pat Tillman’s time of duty. It’s agonizing to watch up close, but it’s also very enlightening and in a strange way, cathartic. You wrote this on 2011-­‐02-­‐16 Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy 3.83 out of 5.00. Here's my review in song (sung to the tune of Too Darn Hot). "I'd like to know what is going on here. With dead bodies lying everywhere. I'd like to know what is going on here. With dead bodies lying everywhere. It seems like something out of Shakespeare. But there's too much plot. There's too much plot. There's too much plot." Maybe they should have cut this thing off at Tinker, Tailor and dropped the Soldier and Spy. There is so much happening in the space of two hours that even stone cold sober me couldn't figure out what was going on. I can say for maybe the first time in my life that a movie was too short! It needed another twenty minutes. At the end of the movie, two hours plus in length, I had to go to the rest room. So did a lot of other men. The place was packed. As I was waiting my turn, I said to the guy behind me, "Who was that dead body before the final dead body?" He said he didn't know. The guy in back of him said, "I don't know either." We all looked bewildered. I asked my wife the same question after. She said, "I don't know and who cares." She's not a mystery/spy story kind of person. I'm not either, but I do like Cold War stories. This one is pretty darn good. Acting, check. Music, check. Cinematography, check. But there's too much plot. Tags: Everybody here looks so British! Except for the Russian woman, who looks so Russian! If I could find and fit into the suits worn by the character Peter Guillam (they are fabulous), I'd be gay, too. January 1, 2012 at 7:11 am Tiny Furniture 103 3.84 out of 5.00 It's quirk that works. Another tiny budget film. It really does look like it's one step up from a home movie. That aside, this is surprisingly enjoyable. A manipulative, self-­‐esteem challenged, artsy new college graduate -­‐ just broken up with her boyfriend -­‐ moves back home to Manhattan to live with her mother and teenage sister. Normally in movies like this, the family is white bread American, and the main character's artsiness and college found hipsterism clash. But here the tension comes from the fact that all three characters are neurotic hipster types just trying to get along. It's a nice change from your typical coming of age movie. Plus you get a window into the basics of the New York-­‐based successful artist family lifestyle. It's a bit like an anthropology lesson. Who knew people really lived like this? There is a real script; it's not just an improvised thing. There is even, sort of, a plot. Finally, the one sex scene has to be in the top ten funny sex scenes in the history of movie making (Woody Allen probably has the top nine sewed up for all time). January 22, 2012 at 7:38 am The Town You rated this movie: 3.0 Jeremy Renner. Those are the two words that make this movie worth watching. Renner does James Cagney better than Cagney. Rebecca Hall and Chris Cooper do fine jobs as well with what little they have. But the movie? It’s not very intelligent and is both predictable and unbelievable. The head of a bank robbing gang wants to retire. But his financier wont let him. He’s going to do one last job and get out. That’s the gist of this movie. How many times have we seen something like this before? Along the way, the gang leader falls in love with a bank manager’s assistant (but you can’t understand why she would fall for him at all). The FBI agent in charge of nabbing the gang not only does the thinking, but the legwork as well. He chases after random tips with lightning speed and chases after the gang with a gun so big that it could take down the John Hancock Tower. Then there are the two women in the movie. Talk about stereotyping. The blonde one with a Boston accent and big boobs is evil. The brunette with a patrician accent and small boobs is an angel. Hollywood can do better than this. But let’s get back to Jeremy Renner. He’s the Gene Hackman of this era. He can take a bad movie and turn it into something that shines. That’s exactly what he does here. You wrote this on 2010-­‐12-­‐18 Toy Story 3 You rated this movie: 5.0 An old fashioned yarn that somehow miraculously borrows from movies like Stalag 17 (which Chicken Run also did) and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest in a way that’s both fun and suitable for kids over six or seven (I think the little ones might be scared to death), Toy Story 3 had my wife crying over the pull at your heartstrings ending. That’s right, a grown woman was crying during a kids movie, she was so emotionally involved with the characters. The Toy Story series, which sagged a bit with Toy Story 2, ends on a high note with the third installment. Here the characters have to come to terms with their purpose: should they be loyal to their grown 104 owner Andy or should they be used for enjoyment by someone young who loves toys. Along their journey, both emotional and real, there are chase scenes galore, pathos and humor. The quality of the animation is superb. We saw the movie in 3D – which was well done – but 2D would be just as good because the story and emotional lives of these little toys carry the day. You wrote this on 2010-­‐06-­‐29 The Trip You rated this movie: 2.0 Tedious beyond belief. Stephen Coogan and Rob Brydon reprise their personas from Tristram Shandy, but this one isn’t funny at all. The duo travels around northern England visiting fancy restaurants. That’s the plot. There is no script. Instead there is banter. Most of the banter involves them offering competing impressions of Michael Caine or singing an Abba song over and over. Then there are impressions of Robert DeNiro, Woody Allen, and Al Pacino to add to the mix. This isn’t a movie, just a way too long series of the improv sketches (actually the same sketch done at each new restaurant). Every once in a while I chuckled. Mostly I was hoping that both actors would get food poisoning. You wrote this on 2011-­‐06-­‐27 Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story You rated this movie: 4.0 If you’re a reader of literary fiction who likes movies like A Fish Called Wanda and Best of Show, you’ll have quite a few belly laughs here. If you aren’t a literary type or don’t like British humor, skip this one. It all starts with the idea of Steve Coogan as a handsome romantic lead. That’s a good sight gag in and of itself. Coogan and Brydon are great together with their British banter, which mostly dwells on self-­‐deprecation and insecurity. There is no plot here. A group is filming a movie version of Tristam Shandy and things don’t go well is pretty much what this movie is about. But the sight gags – which I won’t talk about in detail because I don’t want to spoil them – and funny lines make this movie well worth a rental. It’s short, sweet and intelligent comedy, a cut below the best, but still a whole lot of fun. You wrote this on 2010-­‐06-­‐24 TrollHunter 2.17 out of 5.00 My best friend is of Norwegian descent. He's very funny. At one time I thought this indicated that I'd like Norwegian comedies. The facts said otherwise. Before Trollhunter, I was 0 for 5 with my Norwegian comedy viewing. With TrollHunter I'm 0 for 6. Data trump theory always. I'm done with Norwegian comedies for now and forever. TrollHunter is a very, very low-­‐budget farce that borrows heavily from Blair Witch (another turkey of a movie) and adds elements of Ghostbusters and Indiana Jones to the mix. It isn't funny. Mostly it's just amazingly dumb. The trolls are kind of cute. The lead troll hunter -­‐ an Indiana Jones type -­‐ gets off a few dry funny one-­‐liners. But for the most part, TrollHunter is something a twelve year-­‐old boy could have put together. 105 Tags: night vision camera work apparently creates a great green; one of the best uses of duct tape I've ever seen in a movie; I've already looked at my watch 10 times and this movie still isn't over; Norway looks like Scotland with more dramatic scenery. November 11, 2011 at 9:57 am Trouble With The Curve 2.34 out of 5.00 This movie starts off better than any movie in all of movie history. It’s clear that it’s about baseball at second number two. In the first 40 seconds you see photos of my childhood heroes Warren Spahn and Eddie Mathews. What’s there not to like? But then the actual story starts and it all goes downhill fast. Clint Eastwood is a grumpy old man/baseball scout. Maybe he’s grumpy because Obama didn’t agree to co-­‐star. He has eyesight problems. Get it? You think he’s going to see things clearly by the movie’s end? Computer evaluations of ballplayers are taking over the game. You think he’s going to outdo those computers and crush the baseball execs who idolize them? He has problems dealing with his grown up daughter. You think those problems are going to be resolved? If you liked Hallmark TV specials -­‐ you know those feel good stories where all conflicts created in the first 20 minutes magically disappeared at the 110-­‐minute mark -­‐ you’ll love Trouble With The Curve. It’s not so much that Trouble With The Curve is a feel good movie. I like to feel good just as much as the next person. It’s that the writer and director can’t keep themselves from gilding the lily again and again. The adversaries have to be bad through and through. The good people all have to have hearts of gold. Baseball prospects either strike out every time or hit home runs that travel easily over the fences and hit cars with alarms every time. There is no nuance. Clint Eastwood needs to stop growling in his movies. He’s a person, not a rabid dog. Amy Adams needs to find movies with scripts commensurate with her talent. I need to stop picking up every baseball flick out there in a hopeless attempt to try and satisfy my baseball needs during the off-­‐season. Maybe there’s a Baseball Anonymous? My name is Joe. I am an addict. Tags: OK, this movie is hokey, but that looks like a real Carolina high school baseball diamond; that’s a real curve ball by a real pro, not a high school prospect; a lot of perfectly good cars have been dented in this movie for no good reason; I have two words for Amy Adams, June Bug. December 28, 2012 at 7:20am True Grit You rated this movie: 3.0 106 Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon do a fine job in a problematic film that is too suffused with nihilism to be fun to watch. The Coen Brothers certainly know how to make a movie. The visuals here are fantastic and aim for a mythic approach to the classic Western genre. But the overall story here is a glum one. Sorry I don’t want to see a 14-­‐year-­‐old girl with true grit have her idealism ground into dust. If you like dark-­‐
spirited depressing movies that turn on its head a genre known for championing virtue, this movie will be worth your time. It is very well made. But if you want to see a better twist on the Western genre, I recommend a classic like The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence instead. That movie is a lot more intelligent and arresting than this one. Basically, the Coen Brothers have been making the same movie for over 25 years. They’ve never gone beyond sophomore college nihilism. But I have. This may be the last Coen Brothers movie I bother to watch. You wrote this on 2010-­‐12-­‐25 Trust 3.38 out of 5.00 This is as hard a movie to review as it is to watch. Trust examines the rape of a fourteen year-­‐old suburban Chicago girl by a thirty-­‐something online serial sexual predator. A labor of love by its director, David Schwimmer, Trust was barely seen in movie theaters. The lack of an audience wasn't because the movie was horrible, but rather was likely due to the movie's grim subject matter. It literally made me squirm and feel nauseated to watch the predator work his spell over the girl. There is much to admire about this movie including the acting, dialog and seriousness of purpose of the director. But there are glaring problems with the direction and development of the characters that keep Trust from working as a whole. Trust is ultimately filmed like a play although drama film devices are added to keep the action moving. As I watched, I thought on the fly about ways the script and visual elements could be improved. I also wondered if the subject matter could be treated in a way that, without resorting to melodrama, wouldn't be box office poison. I think the answer to that question is yes, but only with a superb effort by an outstanding director. Tags: Why am I always attracted to movies that gross less than the average annual income of college professors? July 6, 2012 at 5:26 am Two Lovers You rated this movie: 2.0 Oh god, this film is infantile. It’s essentially a remake of an old 1950’s film, Marty, except it’s given a Jewish veneer, is more hackneyed and it’s miscast. Joaquin Phoenix is 10 years too old for this part. Paltrow is a stiff in the role of the drug popping shiksah. Shaw is much too pretty to be the ugly duckling no one wants. Then there is the script, which is one cliche after another. Finally there is the dialogue, which is completely unbelievable. The money used to make this film would have been much better spent on a donation to a worthy charity. The best part of the 107 DVD is the extra feature where there is an interview with the director; he’s so pretentious that he’s inadvertently funny. You wrote this on 2009-­‐08-­‐31 Undefeated 3.82 out of 5.00 As the late, great John Wooden once said, sports don’t build character, they reveal it. That adage is what Undefeated is all about. A white suburban father volunteers to coach football in rough, tough and black North Memphis. He starts out with less than nothing – the high school has no funds for athletics and hasn’t won in football in decades – and in six years builds a team that goes undefeated in its conference. It’s probably true that you have to have an affinity for sports to like this movie. But aside from that caution, this is one heartwarming story. What Coach Bill Cortney does to build his team is inspirational. A man who grew up without a father, Cortney becomes an unlikely father figure to an entire team of teenagers by using a unique mix of discipline and softness. This documentary is a bit rough around the edges, but its creators know the basics of how to make a good story. They focus on the coach and three of his players: a Goliath of an offensive lineman with Division I college talent, an undersized offensive lineman with Division I academic talent, and a junior just out of jail with major anger issues. All of these young men reveal their character in remarkable ways. Tags: I grew up in a place where football was the main topic of conversation for nine months of the year but looking back, we didn’t come close to the devotion people in the South have to this sport; that kid is huger than huge; I could not have predicted that this would happen, no way, no how; ok, I’m crying now, they’ve got me good. February 19, 2013 at 6:38am Up You rated this movie: 4.0 Visually this movie is fabulous. The animation and organic use of 3-­‐D (they aren’t trying to get you to jump out of your seats) are both wonder inspiring and artful. However, the story, once you get past the opening (which could be a first rate short feature on its own), is only passable. There is a lot of little kid logic used to move the plot along. Then there are the cute to be cute elements that seem to be added in a synthetic way. I felt a bit manipulated by the story and the characters, both of which I thought were a bit too stock and predictable. But let’s get back to the visuals. They are easily worth the price of admission. This is a well-­‐made film. You wrote this on 2009-­‐06-­‐02 Up in the Air You rated this movie: 4.0 This one has a 1930s style adaptation of a novel feel, and I mean that in a good way. The novel has less of a moralizing thread and no lovers angle, but this is Hollywood so that gets added to the film version. The performances are all first rate and the details are spot on, from the selection of clothing to the details of the main 108 character’s hometown in Wisconsin (now that brought back memories for me as a native Cheesehead). In a lot of ways, this movie follows the formula of an early movie by Reitman, Thank You For Smoking: a nihilistic but charming male lead with a loathsome but high paying job is challenged by recent experience to find some humanity. This version is a slicker and better-­‐crafted version of the formula. The dialogue is snappier. The acting is sharper. I’d call this a good date movie for people with a strong streak of cynicism. You wrote this on 2009-­‐12-­‐27 Up Series, 7 to 49 4.56 out of 5.00 There’s nothing else quite like the Up Series in TV or movies. Every seven years we get a snapshot of fourteen English people as they grow up and mature. I watched these movies over a period of about six weeks, kind of like how people watch an ordinary TV series. After I was done with a segment, I’d be in a state of anticipation over the next one, wondering just what was going to happen to the characters seven years later. It’s the first time I’ve ever liked what amounted to a weekly TV show in forever. For the most part, the lives chronicled here are ordinary and prosaic. These are people no one would ever watch on a contemporary TV reality show. But taken as an ensemble over 42 years, the ordinary and prosaic become captivating. We watch as the people profiled grow, pursue their dreams, and somehow come to terms with the fact that their dreams will never turn into reality. By the time they are 49 years old, most have achieved an unlikely peace and comfort with who they are. Adding to the allure for me is the fact that all of these people are my age. I can measure myself and do measure myself against them throughout. The Up Series is an intimate and personal voyage. The director isn’t the best; he asks a lot of irritating and not very intelligent questions during his interviews and often seems emotionally tone deaf. But he has been dogged in pursuing this project. The result is one of the best things on film I’ve ever seen. May 13, 2013 at 7:28am Up the Yangtze 4.62 out of 5.00 An illiterate peasant family, whose town has been abandoned because it will be flooded once the Three Gorges Dam is finished, subsidence farms a small plot of land and waits for the Yangtze River to rise. Living in squalor and without any source of income, they send their twelve-­‐year-­‐old daughter to work on the Yangtze River tour boats that cheerfully guide mostly retired American tourists. Up the Yangtze is a heartbreak of a documentary. Parents who struggled under Mao are followed by children who struggle under an economic system rife with corruption that provides little opportunity for those who are poor. Like a riverboat, Up the Yangtze moves slowly and steadily. We watch the odd forced cheeriness of the riverboat cruises mixed with the real lives of the Chinese people being displaced by the rising river. The movie is almost all about irony and anguish. But there is beauty as well in the long shots of the scenery. If you want something fast paced with obvious drama, this 109 movie will bore. But if you like careful and intelligent movie making, Up the Yangtze is about as good as a documentary gets. Tags: this is like Dr. Zhivago in reverse: the sense of heat and mugginess is so strong I feel like I need to strip down to my boxers; damn, this is a hard and sad life; that little cat being washed is probably the only truly positive thing in this movie. January 7, 2013 at 7:43am Vicky Cristina Barcelona You rated this movie: 2.0 Bardem, the weird guy with the pneumatic gun in No Country for Old Men, propositions two American tourists in Spain. Apparently if you give a guy with very odd features a six-­‐day beard, he’s irresistible. That’s the plot and moral of this story I guess. Once again, Scarlett Johansson shows that she can’t act, but I agree she does look good. Whenever Patricia Clarkson and Penelope Cruz come on screen, the movie instantly improves. But the script is laughably weak. A voice over narrator constantly tells you what the characters are thinking. And who really cares what they are thinking because not a single character is particularly interesting. This is really amateurish stuff in terms of a story. Woody Allen stopped making decent movies a long time ago, about the same time he outed himself as a lecher and married his wife’s adopted daughter. He had a great 10-­‐20 year career. But there is no reason to see his movies anymore. You wrote this on 2009-­‐05-­‐13 Waiting for “Superman” You rated this movie: 2.0 Waiting for Superman is well done for what it is, a one-­‐sided polemic that bashes most teachers (and their unions) and champions charter schools. It’s a high budget documentary that mixes animation with talking heads and cute children to try to pull at your heartstrings. Going beyond the movie-­‐making aspects, however, this film greatly distorts the reality of education in America. We as a nation are not particularly good at elementary and high school education (although other Western nations have similar problems and often fare worse). But the fault can’t be solely placed on big bad teacher unions. The data show that charter schools are not a panacea, either. Focusing on parents who truly want their children to achieve and ignoring the preponderance of parents who either have a laissez faire attitude about education, are unable/unwilling to create a positive home life for their children or are simply antagonistic to teachers and believe their children can do no wrong makes this movie a fantasy. The film promotes the idea that students and schools can excel regardless of home environment if they have excellent teachers. This magic teacher theory is promoted in the movie by a talking head from Stanford. I note that Stanford tried, with great fanfare, to implement its ideas with a charter school in nearby, poor, East Palo Alto. The effort was a disaster and Stanford’s license was revoked by the city. So much for magic teachers. So much for the 110 solutions contained in this movie. Ultimately, this film is dishonest and blatantly manipulative. You wrote this on 2011-­‐06-­‐04 Waitress You rated this movie: 2.0 This movie is quirky in a fun way and the idea behind it is very good. However, the script is terrible and the choice of actresses for the lead roles is strange. If you’ve spent time in the rural South, you’ll find yourself disappointed by the stilted language and cliche-­‐laden dialogue. The movie is unconvincing in most ways, especially the acting; the lead roles are played as caricatures of real people. There’s another recent indie comedy about Southern rural life, June Bug that does all of this much better. I think this movie received kind reviews from critics because the reviewers think the South is full of stupid, nice people who talk as if they never left fourth grade. It’s also probably true that some kind reviews were the result of sympathy: tragically, the woman who made this movie was murdered in New York City before the movie was distributed to theaters. Waitress sputters a lot. It needed to be 20 minutes shorter, have the script rewritten by a pro, and have some actresses who can convincingly play rural women. You wrote this on 2007-­‐07-­‐04 Warrior 1.34 out of 5.00 I like boxing movies, always have. But like Westerns, it's probably true that the genre has run out of steam. There was The Fighter last year, which was a yawn. This year there's this thing, which is outright derivative and dopey. It's Rocky I with the additional complication that Rocky has a brother he doesn't like who also fights. Also they've changed boxing to mixed martial arts so that there are more ways actors can beat each other up. The Rocky guy even looks like a young Stallone. Nick Nolte gets the Burgess Meredith part. Because they can't outdo the Rocky theme song we get Beethoven's Ode To Joy. The plot is something a sixth grader might dream up. The dialogue -­‐ what little there is -­‐ is On The Waterfront minus 50 IQ points. Minus 0.18 review points for the Russian bad guy. Why do bad guys always have to be Russian? Why can't they be from Iowa or Nebraska? Plus 0.14 points for the high school principal, who reminds me of an old friend. Also plus 0.13 points for the fact that one of the brothers, when he isn't pummeling people in the ring, is a high school physics teacher. How many how school physics teachers end up being heroes in movies? Tags: One day we'll see a bad guy with Nordic looks and a full head of blonde hair from Iowa or Nebraska and the hero will be the bald Russian guy, I can't wait; are there any drive-­‐ins actually left in Pittsburgh; the sound effects with all the bone crunching blows are a bit much I think. February 19, 2012 at 7:50 am Water For Elephants 111 You rated this movie: 3.0 If this had been made in the 1970s, this movie probably would have been a hit. It’s shot beautifully, there are some pretty people smooching, there is a love triangle, a talented elephant and a nice twisteroo in the plot. This is a big, warm-­‐hearted story with a happy end. But in today’s movie environment, the pace is a bit too slow, the sex is too tame, and the love triangle isn’t very edgy. Being an older type, I appreciate the slow pace and just smooching is just fine with me. Resse Witherspoon is a bit too much of an All-­‐American girl, though, for this part, which needs someone with rougher edges. Also, her love interest needs to have a bit more testosterone. All and all, Water For Elephants is enjoyable if a bit wan. It’s perfect if you’re a bit bored, and want to veg and see an old fashioned movie. Wedding Crashers You rated this movie: 2.0 Basically this is a buddy movie and it works best when Vaughn and Wilson do their buddy thing. The movie is front loaded with laughs and sight gags and at about the 50 minute mark runs out of gas in a hurry. There is no real plot and most of the characters, especially the women, are painfully wooden. If I were an actress and handed this script, I would pass. Poor Jane Seymour gets a part devoid of any value. She must have needed the cash. This is TV fare except for the addition of swear words and T&A. Rent it for the first 40 minutes of gags and then turn it off and find something else to do. You wrote this on 2006-­‐02-­‐08 We Have a Pope 3.55 out of 5.00. Do you think a wisecracking psychoanalyst cheating while playing cassino with Catholic cardinals in the Vatican is funny? I do. I think it's hilarious in fact. But then again I think Nanni Moretti, who stars in and directs this movie, is a funny actor, one of the world's best comics. We Have a Pope mixes Italian farce with a very serious plot: a newly elected pope undergoes an existential crisis and cannot find the emotional strength to lead his followers. The mixing of these two elements doesn't really work and Moretti hasn't written a story full enough to last an hour and a half; what he's done is put together a great 50 minute sketch and stretched it out with some sight gags and weak pathos. All that said, there are some fine moments in this movie propelled by the craziness of Moretti and the wonderful acting chops of Michael Piccoli. We Have a Pope is head and shoulders above most American comedies today, which tend to be lost in a how-­‐can-­‐we-­‐be-­‐even-­‐cruder-­‐
than-­‐the-­‐last-­‐scene competition. Tags: if this movie palette would have more reds, it would have to star Charlton Heston; if you show a scene from Chekhov in the first act, you better have a drunk scene by the fifth; how come I never knew about the Swiss guards at the Vatican; somehow I don't think they're aiming for authenticity here. October 14, 2012 at 9:04am We Live In Public 112 4.13 out of 5.00 Living in Silicon Valley can make you myopic about who does what with technology. And also dismissive. I’d heard about Silicon Alley, the tech center of NYC that blossomed in the 1990s. I also assumed it was a hokey inconsequential thing whose impact was exaggerated simply because it was in NYC (the equivalent of Joe Pepitone of the New York Yankees and countless other Yankees players past and present of modest talent). But We Live In Public shows me I was wrong. Silicon Alley was at the forefront of data mining and with Josh Harris was definitely at the forefront of Web 2.0, the interactive internet. We Live In Public is essentially a biography of Josh Harris, an internet entrepreneur with an artistic streak who uncannily managed to predict just about all we see today. Facebook, blogs, Twitter and all the other exhibitionist trash that consumes too much of your time and my time. Josh understood that this was the future of the internet. All that was needed was bandwidth. Harris is a genius. Once we get past the fact that Josh is an emotionally vacant asshole (and it’s smart that the director makes us see that from the get go), we can, as the audience, focus on his vision for the future and his artistic creations. Those are fascinating. If you ever wonder just why you type comments on a web piece, type anything on Facebook, or put your pet videos on Youtube, We Live In Public is a must-­‐see. Tags: I forgot that NYC can be edgy, how did I forget that; it’s also a place where you can burn up a lot of money fast; this is how Stalins are born; I’ll never type or upload anything to the internet again, who am I kidding; Ethiopia, how do you connect the dots to get to Ethiopia. January 21, 2013 at 6:49am Where the Wild Things Are You rated this movie: 2.0 Maurice Sendak is a genius. His art is wonderful. His small, slim books are full of pithy observations. In contrast, this film uses a big screen and a big budget to trivialize. Visually this film is appealing and creative. Once you get past the visuals, though, it’s more irritating than enlightening. The story, such as it is, goes nowhere. The soundtrack is annoyingly hip. Throughout the film, there is a certain glibness and a lack of emotional depth. I don’t think Dave Eggers or Spike Jonze understand the art of Maurice Sendak very well. I should also note that this movie is not at all suitable for children under the age of 10. You wrote this on 2009-­‐11-­‐16 The Whistleblower 3.41 out of 5.00 Can an acting performance save a bad script? Absolutely and that's exactly what happens with Rachel Weisz in The Whistleblower. Based on a true story of UN and private police force complicity with sex trafficking in Bosnia, the pathos here is almost eradicated by an apparent desire to create a stiff morality play mixed with standard thriller movie set pieces. The bad guys are truly awful. The good guys are saintly. The camera work highlights the Manichean approach by making evil seem 113 like something that is always done in low light. But then there is Rachel Weisz, who carefully creates a nuanced lead character with genuine emotion. Watching her, I almost always forgot about just how much of a cookie cutter this movie was. Hers is a standout performance. This movie is less an effecting drama about how young women are used as sex slaves internationally -­‐ it's a missed opportunity to dramatize a very serious worldwide problem -­‐ than it is a star vehicle. Tags: there are way more minutes of close ups per hour here than in 90 percent of all movies today; a movie like this needs more regular faces and fewer beautiful people trying, through makeup and bad lighting, to look ugly. April 29, 2012 at 9:51 pm The White Ribbon You rated this movie: 5.0 Normally, I don’t like long dark subtitled movies, but this one is very well crafted. It reminded me of a cleaner version of Werner Herzog movies of 30 or so years ago. The pacing is deliberately slow and the film is in black and white, but somehow I found myself captivated the whole way through. A bleak town in early 20th century German has dark secrets. Will they be uncovered? The language is sharp and the cinematography is alluring and occasionally intentionally repelling. This is a very quiet and compelling film with memorable performances by some child actors. If you like long art house films, you’ll probably like this one. If you want some happy Hollywood blockbuster, you’ll likely hate this film. You wrote this on 2010-­‐09-­‐24 Win Win You rated this movie: 4.18 For my money, Nicole Holofcener and Tom McCarthy are the best indie movie writer/directors out there. With tiny budgets, they manage to make interesting, fairly literate, character driven stories about real people. Usually neither is at all shy about creating central characters who have an unappealing side. In Win Win though, McCarthy strictly goes for the sweet and sentimental. Every character is nice through and through. The lead, a down on his luck lawyer played with warmth by Paul Giamatti, is a stinker in one way: he has abused the trust of a client in order to pay his bills. But you know in the end that somehow he is going to right this wrong. Ultimately because the main plot arc is highly predictable, this movie can only work if the little side stories are interesting. They are. The dialogue gets a bit clunky now and then, but overall it’s much better than what you hear in most movies. The acting is first rate. The collection of interesting faces assembled makes this seem like an American version of a Mike Leigh movie. Tags: oh Burt Young I can never forget your opening in Chinatown; every time I see your face I think of the line, “She’s no good!”; another movie that shows beyond a doubt that New Jersey can be pretty; one day I want to see Paul Giamatti play a six-­‐
pack-­‐abbed action hero. You wrote this on 2011-­‐10-­‐19 114 Winter’s Bone You rated this movie: 5.0 Dark and gritty, Winter’s Bone takes you to a bleak and emotionally intricate world, the hardscrabble life of the Ozarks. A teenage girl, already burdened with the job of taking care of her younger siblings and her sick mother on a subsistence farm, is placed in dire straits by the irresponsible and dangerous acts of her father. The girl’s journey is the stuff of Greek tragedy. Jennifer Lawrence and John Hawkes give fine, nuanced and entirely believable performances in a movie that is riveting, the most powerful I’ve seen in years. I walked out of the theater emotionally stunned, as did my wife. The story is simple (and the budget for this movie obviously was small), but Winter’s Bone slowly takes you in and never lets go. I’m sure not many will see this film. It’s subtle, somber and not at all designed for the mass-­‐market. But if you like serious well-­‐made films that are far from the standard stuff of Hollywood, you’ll find Winter’s Bone to be an unforgettable tale, exquisitely told. You wrote this on 2010-­‐07-­‐10 Wondrous Oblivion You rated this movie: 3.0 The script is a bit off, but there are other attractive elements to this movie. Basically, the writer tries to do too much here. You have a lonely housewife theme, a Holocaust theme, a coming of age theme, a country split by racism theme all thrown into a thin soup. Because it’s a comedy, everything works out in the end, but it is all superficial. That said, the soundtrack is a lot of fun and the cinematography is excellent. This one reminds me of another British coming of age film, Son of Rambow, but that one didn’t try to add the weight that this one does, and was a better movie. You wrote this on 2009-­‐05-­‐04 Wreck It Ralph 2.37 out of 5.00 I happen to like kids movies much more than movies in just about any big box office adult format. For instance, I’ll take Toy Story any day over Spiderman. Wait. Spiderman is a comic book hero. That’s kids stuff. So isn’t Spiderman a kids movie? I’m so confused. OK, let me back up. I’ll take Toy Story any day over Avatar. Wait. Avatar has blue people. Isn’t that kids stuff, too? OK, OK, I’ll take Toy Story any day over The Devil in Miss Jones. Whew! I just got out of a trap I created for myself. But I don’t like Shrek influenced kids movies. Shrek was awful. There was no real story. To make up for that absence, the writers threw in one pop culture reference after another. That was Shrek’s whole shtick, put standard fairy tale characters through a maze of pop culture. Wreck It Ralph more or less follows the Shrek formula. It starts out strong. A video game character is tired of being the bad guy. He wants to be loved and appreciated. That’s a nice touch, I think, to give a cartoon character an almost existential dilemma. 115 But the writers don’t have a story to hang onto that idea. So they throw in a bunch of stupid jokes, some pop culture references, and an incomprehensible car race. Yuck. That said, Wreck It Ralph is still a better movie than The Devil in Miss Jones. It may be a better movie than Avatar, but I don’t know for certain. I’ve never seen Avatar. Tags: Sarah Silverman has a great cartoon voice, who knew; this soundtrack is 50 shades of awful; Ed Wynn is rolling over in his grave (unless his family is getting a percentage of this movie in exchange for stealing Wynn’s vocal ticks). April 29, 2013 at 7:54am The Wrestler You rated this movie: 3.0 The plot is run of the mill stuff, the pacing is clunky, and the dialogue is hackneyed, but then there is Mickey Rourke. Oh my. Rourke makes this movie well worth watching. I haven’t seen him in a movie in 20 years or more, but this performance is a once in a lifetime thing. Somehow he is able to make a complete loser and narcissist likable and sympathetic. Both physically and emotionally, Rourke is able to create something real out of what on paper is a cartoon character. This is acting magic, a world-­‐class movie performance. You wrote this on 2009-­‐05-­‐16 The Year My Parents Went on Vacation You rated this movie: 4.0 I’m a bit biased toward this movie because the Yiddish speakers are solid (a very rare thing in film), but even if I ignore the Yiddish this movie still is enjoyable. The child who plays the female lead is fantastic, and the male child lead is pretty good as well. The movie throws together soccer, Judaism, and Brazilian politics into a soup. It’s a bit of a mess and sometimes the plot is manipulative, but overall I bought the idea that I was viewing Brazil circa 1970 through the eyes of a young boy. If you like films with Jewish themes, particularly foreign ones, you’ll probably like this one. It reminded me quite a bit of an Argentinean movie, Lost Embrace, although that one contained a lot of humor. This one is in contrast almost always serious. You wrote this on 2009-­‐10-­‐27 Yoo-­‐Hoo, Mrs. Goldberg You rated this movie: 3.0 Potentially a great idea for a documentary, the execution here is just so so. There isn’t enough footage of Gertrude Berg -­‐ the creator of the heavily ethnic radio/TV character Mrs. Goldberg -­‐ to hold interest and instead the viewer gets talking head after talking head going on and on about their experiences with Berg or their reminiscences of watching or listening to her shows. The focus is on Berg’s career, but we get far too little insight into the heart and mind of Gertrude Berg. As a result, the movie comes off as a laundry list of accomplishments rather than a real look at a human being. In the end, you’re left with the impression that Berg, while a talented writer/actress, was a boring, methodical workaholic. Maybe she was, in fact, boring, but I doubt it. I’d call this movie a missed opportunity. 116 You wrote this on 2010-­‐10-­‐02 You Kill Me You rated this movie: 2.0 The premise of this movie – alcoholic hit man goes on the wagon and finds love in SF – isn’t bad. The execution is awful, though. You Kill Me looks like a low budget affair, but that’s not really the problem. It’s just plain lazily put together and cast. For example, the hit man – Kingsley – is supposed to be from a Polish gang. But none of the actors, including Kingsley, even try a little to sound Polish. None of them look Polish either. The love interest – Tea Leoni – is usually good at offbeat comedy and she co-­‐produced this movie as well. But here she looks lost in her role. That’s not surprising because her role is nonsensical: she has to, somehow, fall head over heels in love with an ancient, alcoholic, laconic, bald hit man. There are a couple of funny set pieces – one takes place on the Golden Gate Bridge – but other than that, this movie is a zero. You wrote this on 2011-­‐06-­‐08 Young Adult 2.68 out of 5.00 All signs pointed to success with this flick; well if not monetary success, at least a flick I'd like. It's a comedy. It's directed by Jason Reitman, who has been on a roll. It stars Charlize Theron, who has the best combination of bone structure and acting chops in movies (OK, OK, I'm in love with her it's true, but that's also probably true for most American males). It co-­‐stars Patton Oswald, a solid comedian. But this movie is pretty much a stinker except for a funny pep talk between Theron and a bit player toward the end. Everything is here except a decent script. The story line -­‐ ex-­‐
prom queen goes back to her home hick town to try to steal back her happily married high school sweetheart -­‐ has potential. Unfortunately, there's not much here aside from the story line. Theron gets to her hick town. You know she isn't going to succeed. The events that show she isn't going to succeed are lifeless. This movie needs some subplots to spice things up. As it stands it's a one note bore. Tags: OK, this is a stinker of a movie, but I still love you Charlize; I don't know where this thing was filmed, but it doesn't look like Minnesota and the chances of a town in Minnesota being named Mercury are slim and none; this movie has a pretty solid soundtrack and it's nice that the wife/amateur drummer actually sounds like an exuberant amateur drummer. March 18, 2012 at 6:50 am Your Sister’s Sister 1.93 out of 5.00 Give me a S. Give me a C. Give me a R. Give me an I. Give me a P. Give me a T. What’s that spell? Script. Too bad this movie doesn’t have one. A plot would help, too. Basically, Your Sister’s Sister is 90 minutes of improvised dialogue by three people who aren’t particularly good at improv. They sit in a very pretty house on an island in the very pretty Puget Sound. They drink, talk, and emote. Two of the characters 117 are supposed to be best friends, but they have no chemistry. Given that this movie depends on those two potentially being more than friends, that flaw is critical. Your Sister’s Sister borrows from French bedroom farces, but can’t let go of good old-­‐
fashioned American puritanism. As a result, bathos crowds out most of the humor. Of course, this could be a wonderful movie that I just don’t get because I’ve never had a sister. Is that possible? Nah. Give me a S!… Tags: I should know better than to watch a movie where Mark Duplass is featured; Emily Blunt looks like she’d be willing to eat a dozen worms for a scrap of decent dialogue; OK, I laughed at the 46 minute mark, I really did, score one for the director; a broken condom is the oldest trick in the book; why do I feel like I’m watching a version of On Golden Pond where twenty-­‐somethings act like old people in every way except for the fact that they say a lot of f-­‐bombs. December 11, 2012 at 10:13pm Zero Dark Thirty 4.34 out of 5.00 Zero Dark Thirty is the best big budget movie I’ve seen in the last year or so. When you pour 30 mil into a movie, you have to make compromises in narrative in order please a broad audience and get your 30 mil (and then some) back. In this case, the compromise is that the story of how the US found and killed Bin Laden focuses on one fictional female Rambo kind of CIA agent. She’s almost a vigilante as she pursues her obsession and of course she’s as pretty as a desert flower. But once you get past this conceit, you can appreciate what 30 mil also buys you: the ability to make a visual tour de force. Visually, this film is masterful. The director employs a “you are there” approach, keeps the soundtrack to a minimum, and takes the time to let you ponder just what it was like to chase after Bin Laden in the stark landscapes of the Middle East. It’s a gritty, somber, dizzying heroic tale about how our armed forces and our CIA work to get their job done, warts and all. If you’re on the left, you’ll likely hate this movie because its message about torture is no message at all. If you’re on the right, you’ll likely hate this movie because it is subdued in tone. But if you just want a big story told in gripping fashion, Zero Dark Thirty will linger in your head for days. Tags: that terrorist drives the same car as my wife, and it’s such a junker that even Al Qaeda has the budget to allow it to be blown up, how embarrassing; I get it, she’s pretty and intense and robotic in her mission, you don’t have to insist on reminding me of this again and again; this is the kind of movie that is so good that it makes me want to find 40 mil of other people’s money and try to make one of my own. January 11, 2013 at 7:24am Zombieland You rated this movie: 4.0 This is the best zombie film I’ve seen in a few years. Then again, it’s the only zombie film I’ve seen in a few years. OK, enough joking. This is really a comedy, not a scary film at all. And it’s a very funny comedy. It uses three classic-­‐film story lines – a 118 dystopic end of the world adventure, a buddy travel adventure, and a zombies invasion – and welds them into one in a fairly seamless way. The acting is solid. The zombies are as funny as anything. From the first scene on, this film is on the right track, and many of the jokes are laugh out loud funny. I’d say that this is a slightly better version of another zombie comedy (not a big genre, I know), Shaun of the Dead. You wrote this on 2010-­‐02-­‐14 119