The PassTime Paper - Rights Reserved © 2016

Transcription

The PassTime Paper - Rights Reserved © 2016
All Rights Reserved © 2015
WIFE'S DIARY:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had
made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for
dinner. I thought he was upset at the fact
that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing,
so I asked him what was wrong; He
said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it
was my fault that he was upset. He
said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about
it. On the way home, I told him that I
loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept
driving. I can't explain his behavior. I
don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him
completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with
me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and
watched TV. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to
go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to
bed. But I still felt his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I'm
almost sure that his thoughts are with
someone else. My life is a disaster.
HUSBAND'S DIARY:
A TWO FOOT PUTT!!! ... how could I
possibly have missed a twofoot putt?
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FAITH IS AN OASIS IN THE HEART WHICH CAN NEVER BE REACHED BY THE CARAVAN OF THINKING
SMILE BECAUSE YOU CAN
THE WI-FI WENT OFF IN MY HOUSE FOR 10 MINUTES SO I HAD TO TALK TO MY FAMILY...THEY SEEM LIKE NICE PEOPLE...
THERE IS NO KEY TO HAPPINESS; THE DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN
I WISH IT WAS SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO THROW WATER BALLOONS AT OTHERS
* On Aug. 28, 1877, Charles Stewart Rolls, co-founder (with
Henry Royce) of the Rolls-Royce automobile company, is born in London.
In 1900, Rolls reportedly was responsible for changing the national
speed limit from 4 mph to 12 mph.
* On Aug. 30, 1918, in Belfort, France, Colonel Arthur L.
Conger plants a false operational order for an impending Allied attack in the wastebasket of a hotel where a German
agent was on staff. As intended, the order was
found and the Germans chose to withdraw
from the area.
* On Aug. 26, 1939, the first televised Major League baseball game is broadcast between the Cincinnati Reds and the Brooklyn Dodgers at Ebbets Field. There
were only two stationary camera angles: down the third base line, and
above home plate.
SILENCE IS GOLDEN...UNLESS YOU HAVE A TODDLER. THEN SILENCE IS VERY, VERY SUSPICIOUS
* On Aug. 29, 1949, in Kazakhstan, the USSR
successfully detonates its first atomic bomb. To
measure the effects of the blast, the Soviets constructed buildings and bridges, and placed
animals in cages nearby. The atomic explosion destroyed those structures and incinerated the
animals.
* On Aug. 24, 1958, Maria Teresa
de Filippis, the first woman ever to compete in
Formula One racing, drives a Maserati in
the Portuguese Grand Prix. Her
racing career began after two of
her brothers made a bet that she
couldn't drive fast.
* On Aug. 27, 1967, Brian Epstein, age 32, manager of the
Beatles, is found dead of a drug overdose in his Sussex, England, home.
* On Aug. 25, 1984, Truman Capote, author
of the pioneering true-crime novel "In Cold
Blood", dies at age 59 in Los Angeles. After
reading about murders of a farm family, Capote
traveled to Kansas to do research
with his childhood friend,
Harper Lee, who later
wrote "To Kill a Mockingbird."
(c) 2015 King Features Synd., Inc.
DO NOT BE AFRAID OF BEING OUTNUMBERED, REMEMBER EAGLES FLY ALONE WHILE PIDGEONS FLOCK TOGETHER
RANDOM THOUGHTS
 When I’m quiet strangers think I’m shy. People who
WHEN YOU TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THEY TREAT YOU THEY GET SO UPSET
know me think, “OMG, he’s thinking! Everyone run for your lives!
 There was a cupcake in the
fridge and a note saying, ‘Don’t eat
me!” I ate the cupcake and left a new
note saying ‘Don’t tell me what to
do!”
 That’s it! I officially resign
from adulthood.
Decisions will now be made using the
eenie-meenie-minie-moe method and all
arguments will be settled by sticking out
my tongue.
 Sometimes I just want someone to hug
me and say, “I know it’s hard. You’re
going to be okay. Here’s some coffee and a check for $5,000,000.
 Don’t worry. Dance like no
one is watching. Everyone is
on their phones. No one IS
watching.
 Kids today
have no idea how easy they
have it. Why, when I was their age, I
had to walk 11 feet through green shag
carpeting to change the TV channel.
 When I’m sad I start to sing. It
always helps to realize my voice is
worse than any problems I might
have.
THE BEST PART ABOUT BEING OVER 40 IS I DID ALL MY STUPID STUFF BEFORE PHONE CAMERAS AND THE INTERNET
GOD IS THE ONLY REASON I MADE IT THIS FAR
CHILDREN ARE A GIFT FROM THE LORD. THEY ARE A REWARD FROM HIM—PSALM 127:3
THE KIDS WHO NEED THE MOST LOVE WILL ASK FOR IT IN THE MOST UNLOVING OF WAYS
I HAVE A PLAN. DO YOU TRUST ME? -GOD
WHO LOOKS OUTSIDE, DREAMS. WHO LOOKS INSIDE, AWAKENS.
I AM NOT ASHAMED OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRIST, FOR IT IS THE POWER OF GOD THAT BRINGS SALVATION TO ALL WHO BELIEVE - ROMANS 1:16
TOUGH TIMES GET YOU REAL FRIENDS AND OTHERS GET YOU TOUGH TIMES
1. MEASUREMENTS: A quindecennial refers to what period
of time?
2. CARTOONS: Who was the voice of Nigel in the animated
series "The Wild Thornberrys"?
3. GEOGRAPHY: In what U.S. state did the Battle of Kennesaw Mountain take place during the Civil War?
4. ASTRONOMY: What shape is the Milky Way galaxy?
5. LANGUAGE: What is the meaning of the Latin phrase,
"Cogito ergo sum"?
6. MOVIES: What was the name of Meg Ryan's bookstore in
"You've Got Mail"?
7. LITERATURE: What is the name of the bookstore in Diagon Alley in the "Harry Potter" series?
8. EXPLORERS: Which European explorer discovered a sea
route to India?
9. HISTORY: During what war did the Battle of Trafalgar
take place?
10. MATH: What is the decimal equivalent of the fraction
1/5?
IN CHRIST ALONE OUR HOPE IS FOUND
Answers
1. 15 years
2. Actor Tim Curry
3. Georgia
4. Spiral
5. "I think, therefore I am"
6. The Shop Around the Cor-
(c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc.
ner
7. Flourish and Blotts
8. Vasco da Gama
9. Napoleonic Wars
10. 0.2
THE WORLD IS FULL OF GOOD PEOPLE; IF YOU CAN’T FIND ONE, BE ONE
A FRIEND LIKE YOU IS WORTH A MILLION DOLLARS...SO, CAN I SELL YOU? I NEED THE MONEY!
DO YOU KNOW THAT AWESOME FEELING WHEN YO GET INTO BED, STAY ASLEEP ALL NIGHT AND WAKE REFRESHED??? NOPE, ME NEITHER.
* It was noted 18th-century German scientist, philosopher and
satirist Georg Christoph Lichtenberg who made the following
sage observation: "It is almost impossible to carry the torch of
truth through a crowd without singeing somebody's beard."
IT’S OKAY TO BE HAPPY; GOD WANTS YOU TO BE
* Sometimes looking at local ordinances can make
you wonder what inspired lawmakers to pass
such laws. For instance, in Florida it's illegal to
wear nothing but liquid latex while in a public
place.
* The lyrics to that favorite Irish ballad "O Danny Boy" were actually written by an Englishman.
* Famed comedic actor Charlie Chaplin was
born in England, but at the age of 19 he came to
the United States as a performer with the prestigious Fred Karno company. Interestingly, Stan Laurel, of Laurel and Hardy
fame, emigrated to the U.S. at the same time, as part of the
same company -- as Chaplin's understudy.
* In a recent survey of pet owners, nearly half of all respondents said that the best description of their relationship with their
pet would be "soul mate."
SOMETIMES I QUESTION MY SANITY, OCCASIONALLY IT ANSWERS
* Sardinia, the second-largest island in the Mediterranean Sea,
also is an autonomous region of Italy. If you ever
decide to vacation there, keep an eye out for "casu
marzu," a cheese that's produced locally.
Whether you're keeping an eye out in order to sample it or avoid it depends on
whether or not you have an appetite for adventurous eating. The makers of "casu marzu" deliberately introduce into the process the
larvae of a particular cheese fly. Though the
cheese is sometimes cleaned out before it's served,
it's often presented in its original state, wriggling maggots and all.
Thought for the Day: "There is nothing more dangerous than a
government of the many controlled by the few." -- Lawrence
Lessig
(c) 2015 King Features Synd., Inc.