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The Road Ahead..
5 OCT 1996
^^
VA
^2 n.-^r .
Arts Faculty
Road Closed
r
\Vocational
Degrees
\
Federal Election f
Student
Politics
Keep Left
EDUCATION TOLLWAY
Course Cuts
Staff Cuts
Means Test
Federal VSU
LOT'S
P L U M E XKXVIII EDITION 7 print post approved pp338685/00006
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LOT'S
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^ v e r t i s i n e : (^l^) 99^5 31<'32
CREDITS
Editors
Sub-Editors
Dan Celm
Michelle Davies
Chris King
VISUAL ARTS:
Asha Holmes
NEWS:
Advertising
JenCas
Kathryn James
Daniel Celm
Typesetting
ENTERTAINMENT:
Tarnsin Molesworth
Claire Hammond
The Crew:
CONTENTS
N a t e i The rirsthalfofthepaperisnon-CAF(Compulsory Amenities
Fee) funded and contains material at the editors' discretion. The seconc
half of the paper is CAF funded and subject to the VSU legislation.
In the Non-GA? half:
News In Briefs
You Can't Miss It Education Section
Mandatory Sentencing
The Wizard of Oxley
Male Domination: Clinton's Affair
Steven Jolly Interview
page 7
page 10
page 17
page 22
page 23
page 24
In the Gil? half:
28.
30.
33.
34.
36.
43.
44.
Travel Section: Tips, Chips and Whips
The Net: How far is too far?
Violetine Interview
Glynn Nicholas Interview
Reviews, Reviews, Reviews, Reviews
Bundaberg Rum Footy Tipping
Troutman
Plus':
Munch Me, Bundaberg Photo Page, Letters, MSA Reports, Top Ten, Cartoons, Lot's On, Quizzes, Prizes, Idol
Gossip, No 'From the Bar Room Floor', No 'Activities
Report', and No wonder Pender's single.
PERFORMING ARTS:
Megan Pearson
VOLUNTEKR COORDINATOR I
Emma Hunt
A multitude of lervely people braved the
icy temperatures of Melbourne and the
freezing climate of our office: Alyssa,
Beau Zlatcovic, Kanella Giannakakis,
Andrew Saunders, Will Fowles(too
noisy), Slatts, Ozan , Ada, Ash Ford,
Sophie Bryant, Darby, Jeremy, Dave
McLay, Simon "Baywatch" Cooke,
Dean Harrigan, Aaron, Spud Ryan, Ben
and Macca at the bar who kept up our
spirits and, of course, our resident cartoonist, Duncan Yardly (although he did
give stuff to Farrago), p.s. We're really sorry Jacy, and we love you heaps.
Music:
Andrew James
Anthony Brasher
Luke Oliver
SPORT:
Marc Jongebloed
Richard Johnson
INFO TECH;
Ronny Liew
Keith Kendall
Leslie Liew
Publication Schedule
Semester Trro
Editions?
Theme
Articles
Deadline
Letters
Deadline
Production
Week
Distribution
Date
Monday
July 13
Wednesday
July 15
Moil - l l i u
July 20-23
Wednesday
July Z")
Monday
August 10
Wednesday
August 12
Mon - T h u
AuKiist 17-20
Wednesday
August 26
Munday
August 3)
Wednesday
September I
Mon - T h u
September 7-10
WedncMlay
September 16
Monday
September 21
Wednesday
September 23
Mon - T h u
Sept 2 8 - O c t I
Wednesday
October 7
CREATIVE WRITING:
Editorial Policy
hit's Wife Joes not publish iiny materi.-]! that is sexist, racist.
homophobic or militaristic. We also don't pubUsh stuff that
is crap, so stop submitting it (you Icnow who you aret). If you
are going to submit stuff that is crap don't bother However, if
you're going to submit good stuff, please give it to us on disk
in Word 6 0 formal. If you havearoblcm with your article being
cut. call the VC and ask for a budget increase. Otherwise fuck
off back to Admin While we're here. Dan would like to personally apologise for any misbehaviour. After all, he can't be
held 10 blame. Vic Stubbies were only two bucks. Any use of
llie ' c ' word is to be forgotten, as is the fact that he spat on the
Info Desk (sorry Beau). ivw!v Wife is published by our mates
at Wcsternport Printing, who don't lake Dan's crap.
Helena Sverdlin
Kobi Leins
INTERNET:
Oliver Daly
6
Taek
FooTY TIPPER:
Jacy Cullum
iCdUBsblUIMV^a
page.
Jreen
iF Funded
ailpha L o t ' s
letten to the editorj
^ '*•'•.jv»^'
Dom Looks Like A DIckl
The Menzles Munchkins
Obsessed with Iron Fish
I'm Sick Of ttie'Whole'
Fucking Thing
Dear Lot's,
Dear Lot's,
Dear Lot's,
Dear Lot's,
I'm annoyed. Irritated. But at least I'm
notafuckwit. This is directed specifically
to Dom, who noted insightfully from his
soapbox in the last issue, that Kobi
Leins 'blatantly plagiarised' Jeff Buckley.
I suppose then, that this 'far superior'
artist is exempt from your ill-directed
scrutineering. Any wanker who even
read the inside of the album cover would
be aware of the fact that the whole
fucking song is a cover of Leonard
Cohen. But then, I don't imagine that
you'd even heard of Jeff Buckley before
the poor bastard drowned himself in a
drunken stupor.
I write to bring everyone's attention to
an alarming incursion into the University
precinct over the semester break. It
would appear that a bunch of rogue
munchkins, still suffering the affects of
overdosing on helium during the filming
of The Wizard of Oz, have broken into
the Menzies building and proceeded to
exert their own unique brand of interior
decoration.
Responding to Obsessed (Ed #5):
Poor Melanie McGrath; the Gremlins
certainly got into her article 'The Whole
Feud - the perspective of: the MSA'
(Lot's Edition 6).
I would suggest that, in future, before
you unleash a withering barrage of
derisive insults upon someone with at
least a measure of creative ability, you
should first ask yourself, 'Am I a
complete tosser, and does anyone care
about what I erroneously pontificate?'
Your crappy letter has no place in this
fine publication.
The lift doors have taken on a lovely
shade of brothel pink and the escalators
a bright, turquoise-esque green. The
pink has even made it as far as the first
and end walls of the corridors, no doubt
inducing feelings of deja vu in many
commerce lecturers. What will we see
next? Mirrors on the ceiling? Mushroom
shaped poofs? Why not psychedelic
wallpaper and tinted windows?
Please darling building services people,
refrain from tripping before designing
Menzies colour schemes - and stick to
mute tones in future.
Cot
Arts/Eng I
Dear Lot's,
I'm sure that alongside this letter is a
lot of strongly vi/orded correspondence
reminding me that "Hallelujah" is not
by Jeff Buckley, but Leonard Cohen.
To these people I say - 'I am a
dickhead'.
Blinded by indignation, I wrote my last
letter attacking Kobi Leins' crappy
poem with the most famous
manifestation of the song in mind.
Having realised my mistake later on, I
lunged towards the office of Lot's Wife
screaming "Nooo!!!..." like one of
those slow-motion ads for Workcover
or electricity or... anyway it was too late
- being published the first time was
punishment enough.
So, if you want to get technical, Jeff
Buckley is a rip-off artist too. But Kobi,
you've got a long way to go before you
rip-off as well as he does.
Will Fowles
Negative Inflation =
Higher Catering Prices
I am touched (not to mention fully
engorged) by your admiration. We must
get together some time. Maybe we could
throw some rocks at pensioners? Or
even stuff a Wilderness Society koala
full of gum leaves and then force him to
perform demeaning acts in front of
Japanese tourists? The possibilities are
endless. Just don't expect much from
my magic hands - they're not quite the
same after a bizarre "bucketing"
accident left me permanently impaired.
In trembling anticipation,
The Iron Fish
Dear Lot's,
Recently students may have received
theif HECS statement and noticed that
the government reduced their HECS
debt due to negative inflation. When
returning to Uni after the Holidays I was
therefore dismayed to find that the
prices of just about all items on sale in
the Union Building had mysteriously
increased. It puzzles me why the shops
in the Union Building need to charge like
a milk bar when they operate like a
supermarket. Perhaps it has something
to do with the fact that they run a
monopoly.
I challenge students not to buy food from
these shops and instead bring your own,
until they stop taking advantage of lazy
students who rely on these food outlets
for nourishment (if you'd call it that).
Dom
Arts/Law 2
Non-CAF Funded
page 4
Who are you, where are you, how can I
find you? At last, after so many months
of being written off as a borderline
paranoid schizophrenic by friends,
colleagues and fellow public transport
users, I can rejoice in the fact that I am
officially being stalked! Oh, Obsessed,
how I have sensed your presence in the
last few weeks! Now it all makes sense!
Those small, masticated pieces of fried
chicken I've been receiving in the mail,
the mysterious barking sounds
emanating from the microwave, the
giant Lego garden gnome that keeps
following me... To be honest, for awhile
I thought I was losing it, but now I realize
it was just a fan trying to make contact!
Non-CAF Funded
Consumer WatchDog
Firstly, they preceded her relatively wellwritten and informative discussion with
a couple of paragraphs containing
childish and inaccurate mockery of the
Wholefoods Collective and of the 1100
students who signed the petition.
Secondly, they removed mention of the
underhand way last November, when
few students were on campus or aware
of the machinations, the MSB
unilaterally repealed Wholefoods'
constitution, abolishing the Collective
and its ideal of 'food for people - not tor
profit'.
Thirdly, they removed references to the
MSA's financially disastrous recent
management of Wholefoods as hastily
recruited employees have struggled
valiantly to plug gaps left by absent
volunteers. Last semester's wage blowout caused Wholefoods to lose over
$20,000, compared with a small surplus
in 1997, despite Wholefoods' cafe being
closed for renovations for part of the
year.
Maybe next Lot's will contain a revised
version of Melanie's article, free of the
annoying omissions and errors which
made her last article so disappointing.
Yours optimistically,
Phil Crohn
Wholefoods IV
Dear Lot's,
Dear Lot's,
What has happened to the Iron Fish? I
was very disappointed when your last
edition failed to include an article by him.
I was so looking forward to reading a
piece of his work, particularly after the
long holiday break, However, I was able
to take some very seductive photos of
him during his visit to the library last
week (I just love the way he puts his
photocopy card into the machine!).
Please get him to write something soon
as I am suffering from withdrawal
symptoms.
Still Obsessed
P.S. The first meeting for the Iron Fish
fan club is on Saturday 29th August at
St Kilda McDonalds, 6:30pm sharp.
Up.until now I've preferred not to engage
in the propaganda war over
Wholefoods. But now it's gone far
enough. Every day a new student tells
me that the Friends of Wholefoods are
making announcements in lectures
claiming that the solicitor who advised
the MSA is corrupt and should be
deregistered. This is outrageous and
defamatory in the extreme. For the
record, our solicitor specialises in
student associations and does legal
work for many of the students
associations in Victoria. He was involved
in setting up the Melbourne Food Coop and is the second most senior lawyer
in Victoria in law as it relates to student
associations.
lk<MiM!ddMlil^[J«l
Time c f your life, huh, ki<d?
MPA: Here to Stay
windscreen Wankers
People have the right to campaign for
what they believe in, and I can tolerate
the constant attacks on my integrity and
commitment to, but it is completely
unacceptable
to
attack
the
professionalism and integrity of our
lawyer simply because you didn't like his
advice.
Friends of Wholefoods, you might be
fighting for a principle, but that doesn't
mean you can fight without any
principles. Please try and draw the line
somewhere.
Melanie McGrath
Education Vice-President
IMonash Student Association
Dear Lot's,
As I was walking to a table In the
Wholefoods Restaurant, I was
confronted by two pinboards covered
with enlarged, graphic photographs
incorporating women's genitalia,
binding, blood, rape by soldiers and
wounds resulting form torture.
I do not feel that the people who
displayed the photos can have had
much consideration of the damaging
effect they would have. That the photos
were overtly positioned where people go
to eat food and socialise and that there
were no warnings about the photos are
but two indications of this. There are
many students at Monash University for
whom exposure to such images calls up
deep-seated emotional reactions. For
me, dealing with these normally
manageable feelings is unutterably
painful and disruptive of my life.
I firmly believe that pictures portraying
the violation of any human being and
the objectiflcation of women serve no
purpose in furthering any cause. In fact,
it causes a great deal of harm.
I guess that the pictures were taken in
East Timor and it goes without saying
that I fully support the plight of these
people. I know, however, that it is
possible to portray an idea of the
atrocities that occur In that country in
different ways. A constructive outcome
would be that exhibits in the Wholefoods
Restaurant be subject to the same or
similar process of veto that apply to
Monash Student Association displays.
Lisa Hurburgh
Dear Lot's,
Why is it that people insist on
desecrating pristine windscreens with
needless collections of ancient blue
parking permits? Is the number of
parking permits an indication of the
driver's penis size? Are they making fun
of the poor buggers in Free-parking? Is
it a painful reminder of how many years
you've been battling away at your
degree? Or is it some dismal attempt
by severely insecure individuals to gain
respect and status amongst peers? I
think the latter!
As I started uni, I believed there might
be some top secret reason for the bizarre aggregations. In second year, they
just pissed me off. Now I realise that
these people have serious problems
with their self-esteem.
The year Is 1998 and funnily enough you
only need a 1998 Parking Permit. So
next time your sitting at a red light and
notice a multitude of Blue Parking
Permits on the windscreen, lean over
and rip them off... even If it's not your
windscreen. Trust me, it's really not that
%@&#ing hard to pull a little plastic
square off the glass!
Alex
BSc(Env) 3
Dear lof's,
Dear lof's,
Come amenities council time, we could
have the Monash Student Association
arguing with the Monash Postgraduate
Association over our prospective shares
of students' fees. The act of breaking
away could also place considerable
financial pressure on the Monash
Student Association, as the postgraduate students compete for funds
with the MSA.
I was disappointed to read the rundown
of a division's attempt to break from the
student union on campus In the latest
issue of the H/lonash Postgraduate Association Newsletter. 1 am concerned
that the post-grads leaving of the
Lachlan Simpson Monash Student Association could lay
Eternal first year
us at peril of becoming a divided force,
easily manipulated by the Vice-Chancellor.
I thought Chris' editorial in edition six
was great. This is what student life is all
about! I don't know why people always
criticise Green Week. No one physically
forces anyone to drink. But most
importantly it Is a week in which
everyone can relax and forget the
stresses of study
I know for one, I really enjoy being a
part of a team. All throughout school I
was hopeless at sport, and
consequently wasn't ever in the sporting
teams. Green Week gives me an
opportunity to get involved, join a team
and have fun! And yes, Chris is right university is a unique place, a sort of
sheltered world that allows you to be
slightly irresponsible and frivolous every
once In a while.
Green (Plss)W9ak
l>Ar Green
I believe all Post-Graduate students
should ask why their division is seeking
to break from the Monash Student
Association and examine the
justifications given. By remaining united,
the Monash Student Association can
claim to speak for all students on
campus and fight on behalf of students
as a united force.
United we stand, Divided we fall.
Fergus Vial
Dear Lot's,
I don't like Green Week. But I can deal
with the fact that some people do. As
far as I am concerned, there is no reason
why the bureaucrats-in-training should
have a monopoly on the rorting of
student funds. What bothers me Is the
attitude expressed in last editions'
editorial. "Green Week is one of the most
important dates on the university
calendar, because It is one of the last
times university students will get the
chance to be truly immature. These are
people that will soon have to enter the
real world...".
Hate to be the one to break it to you, but
this Is the real world. If you continue to
live, act, think and feel vicariously
through the crap that Hollywood, Sony,
the Herald Sun, Coke, Calvin Klein, and
big business in general spit out
contemptuously at you, your real world
will be boring and dull.
UMA«bMd
He never said. 'Play i t again, Sam."
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying don't
be immature, just don't use It as an
excuse for Green Week. If you choose
to be boring after graduation, don't take
it out on us now. Don't make this your
last hurrah. Take control. Life is not a
rehearsal.
Non-CAh f-unded
pages
MUFSO Smells Fishy
Dearest Lot's,
Interested to see MUFSO putting its
name to the Arts Stopwork forum?
Perhaps less well known is that the
MUFSO Monash Student Plan (MSP) is
prefaced with the words "Monash
University led the way in devising their
own strategic plan. Leading The Way:
The Monash Plarf; refers to students
as "consumers" at least three times; and
has "matched [student organisations]
objectives to the universities own
objectives".
But wasn't the MUFSO Arts Forum
explicitly opposed to the Monash Plan?
Student representatives assure us that
MUFSO is engaging in this double-talk
with a view to strengthening and
protecting our student organisations,
that the MSP was deliberately kept
secret prior to its ratification at Uni
Council for "strategic" purposes. Fuck!
Is it too much to expect the MSA to tell
it like it is, leaving the lies, the secrets
and the closed-door strategies to the
Vice-Chancellor? Small wonder that
students are disillusioned with the MSA
when our representatives seem to place
more emphasis on what the ViceChancellor thinks, than what students
do.
our motto to "Australia's Travelator
University". Surely this provides much
better selling power to students
overseas?
Lazy slobs like me need our luxuries,
and this is one that all at Monash
deserve. The time is nigh to join in the
chorus and lobby to bring travelators to
our great university. I can assure every
student they will not be disappointed.
There
will
be
no
regrets.
Travelators....the eighth great wonder of
the world!
Anon Walker
Inaugural President - Monash
Students for Travelators
USA Fears VcinBasten
Dear Lot's,
Just thought I'd say 'hi' to Michael
Sterling (God Bless America Edition 6)
who was sufficiently offended by my 150
word 'Tool of the Week' to write a full
page rant in response. My apologies to
any proud citizens of the United States
who were similarly offended, but
Sweetie - if a single country is going to,
somewhat hypocritically, anoint itself the
heart of freedom and the super power
of the world, it has to expect a bit of shit
in retum.
Kanela
If you want to find out the official story,
contact MSA - but remember, you'll only
get as much information as is
Strategically sound.
Adam Robb
ARTS 3
Kids: Don't Take Drugs
Dear Lot's,
I am a lazy slob. I'm proud to admit it
and don't take offence when people call
me that. It is this laziness which
provokes me to make an all-out call:
Monash University needs travelators great big moving footpaths for the
uninitiated. Imagine what a whole
network of travelators could do for
Monash and it's students. We could get
anywhere in the uni without hardly
having to take a step.
Vice Chancellor Robinson get your head
out of the sand and realise that
travelators are the way of the future and
the key to the survival of this university.
There is even the possibility of changing
IJMJfJJJIUBHSl
page 6
President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, what can I say? So she sucked him off,
who cares? In a thorough examination of the Clinton administration I'm sure it would
be discovered that she's not the first. Paula Jones. Jennifer Flowers. Do these names
ring bells? The point is, this is not Watergate, It in no way comes close to the absolute abuse of power that Nixon and his men created. "Plumbers", theft, spying, breaking and entering. Versus whaf? A stained dress, a definitional debate on the meaning of a "sexual relationship", the embarrassment of the world's most powerful man.
Kenneth Starr can push the "I'm out for truth and justice" angle as much as he likes,
but the fact of the matter is, he is a man out for personal glory. Clinton perjured
himself, he didn't attempt to scuttle the election hopes qf his opposition party by
breaking into their offices, he's not Nixon. So to begin with, let's ease off that one.
Secondly, the question has arisen can the private and official lives of the president
be separated? It's an irrelevant question because the crux of the matter is this. Are
you bringing down the most successful President since Johnson because he lied to
the American people, or, are you destroying a philandering bastard because he
failed to live up to his presidential image a as role model?
Perhaps some interesting questions. Either way, what, exactly, does this have to do
with Australia? •
Chris
There are a few words that are getting thrown around a lot these days. One which
comes to mind is *Un-Australian". Johnny Howard uses it, Pauline Hanson uses it,
and Kim Beazley eats it. Effectively it's a convenient term to try and dismiss anyone
who doesn't subscribe to your point of view on an issue in federal politics.
With the Monash Student elections approaching there is another term being bandied
around a lot: "Representation". Apparently the MSA are not living up to it, the
Wholefoods collective are defying it, and your humble i-of's Wife editors are ignoring
it. No matter who you speak to, they will tell you that the people from the opposite
political spectrum are not adhering to the ideal of "representation".
Why? Effectively, because the person who throws around the accusation is not
having their own point of view represented. So, an instant Morgan-Gallop poll goes
off in their head, and they vehemently claim that "students are not being represented".
Well guess what folks. If students were being truly represented, there would be no
one arguing for anything. Why? Because a majority of students don't give a rat's
arse about your pathetic little viewpoints on obscure, idealistic, crap issues. That's
why there are 25,000 students at Monash and only 2,000 that care about who their
student "representatives" are.
Have a nice election week kiddies!
The Name Game
Dan
Dear Lot's,
I thought you might find this bit of trivia
interesting. I am an Engineering student,
and if you take all the letters in my name
and re-arrange them, it spells
'Engineering student!'
Greg Dinnestuntengie
Eng III
P.S. My friend Bessie Sundsutt is a
business student and Dan Twutels and
Dan Wetslut are law students.
It is with great pleasure that we present to you our Education edition. Please read it.
It affects you. More finance cuts are re-shaping Monash courses. The University's
focus on vocational degrees, to the exclusion of academic 'general' degrees like
arts and science, cannot be ignored.
Some food for thought... If the proposed staff, finance and course cuts go ahead,
you will find yourself in overcrowded tutes (if any), with far less subjects to choose
from. Do you want to pay for a sub-standard education?
The recent Arts Review Blueprint Document sets out proposals to cull the Arts Faculty and combine the remaining departments. For example, politics, women's studies, anthropology and sociology may be amalgamated into one 'School of Political
and Social Enquiry.' Political and Social Enquiry? Hello??? What a bunch of arse.
Dear Lot's,
If you think that's good, beat this! My
name, re-arranged, spells Computing
and Information Technology Student.
Norman-Pete Yogi
Dunnyshitfatlongcondomcuntundi
P.S. My friend Mite D'Nude-lnsect is a
medicine student.
I am an arts student and I am bloody proud to be one. Arts courses cultivate skills in:
lateral thinking, critical analysis, confident expression and an understanding of society,
all of which are essential for communication and any employment area. As arts
degrees are increasingly losing favour with (stupid) employers, law is supposedly
emerging as the new 'general degree'. Wow, a five year course that inspires selfdoubt, rote learning and fierce competition - that's the kind of general education
this society needs!
Michelle
Letters Policy: Keep them poigniant or funny
and to the point. Also keep them under 200
Don't forget that everything in the first half of the paper is material that the State
words. This will be enforced with more rigidity
government is trying to censor- which is all the more reason to read it.
than Chris' starched undies.
i-CAF Funded
M!JJidlliVlf.J
You're damned if you do. and damned if you do.
NEWS IN
enviro
watch
We are nearly half way through the semester, but I am sure many of us are
still hibernating, so here is a brief wrap
up of last month's news...
President Clinton has not had it easy in
the last few weeks. There are blows
coming from all directions, whether it
be the bombs that were set off near
two US embassies in Africa, or Monica
Lewinsky telling a grand jury that she
had oral sex with the President a dozen
times in his private study, off the oval
office.
'Super Weed' Risk Confirmed. Genetically modified crops can create
weeds that are harder to kill and
breed strongly. Studies in the US
have shown that herbicide resistant
genes in oilseed rape were passed
over to weeds growing next to the
crop. Transgenic weeds are then resistant to herbicides, survive spraying and propagate more rapidly.
Source: The Electronic Telegraph
The British government has been accused of pushing through laws allowing the use of genetically altered organisms in food to be sold to the general public. But It has been revealed
that the politicians have put a ban
on the use of gene-altered material
in food served to them in the parliamentary restaurants. Source: SHNS
American geneticists have aished the
US Patent Office, laying patent claim
to more than 1,800 genes and 85
genetically altered animals. Source:
SHNS
Researchers have played Mozart,
'white noise', and Philip Glass to
pregnant rats, reporting that rats exposed to music are faster learners
than the other rats. This, they say,
confirms similar results found in human children. Source: Reuters
Compiled
Jon Sumby
On a serious note, in what the US State
Department labelled a ' clear tefforist
attack', the blast in Kenya and Tanzania
killed 80 people and injured up to 1000
people. The unknown group, the Islamic
Army for the Liberation of Holy Places,
took responsibility for the bombing.
Osama Bin Laden, a Saudi Arabian
millionaire who has devoted his fortunes
to waging a holy war against the US, is
the main suspect in the search for the
organiser of the bombing. He has also
been linked with financing the World
Trade Centre bombing in 1993.
More than three million Sydney
residents were forced to use boiled or
drinking water, as the parasite giardia
and Cryptosporidium were detected in
the city's water supply A group of hotels,
convenience stores and dentists
launched a class action suing Sydney
water over the scare, claiming
compensation for lost revenue. Within
a week, it was confirmed that the water
supply was free of any contamination.
Pauline Hanson's One-Nation party has
managed to keep itself in the headlines
with several meetings that were
disrupted by protests. The One-Nation
meeting in her home town, Ipswich was
attended by 200 protesters and
approximately 600 supporters. The
meeting was held outside, as the
Ispwich city council refused to provide
a hall due to security concerns. The 80
strong police presence had an element
BRIEF
of concern themselves, when there were
violent scuffles between supporters and
protesters. A spokesperson for the ultra
right-wing group National Action was
committed to protecting the rights of
Pauline Hanson to free speech, and
commented that it will do whatever it
takes to counter leftist groups, even use
force itself, justifying it as 'self-defence'.
Tfie turbulence in the National Party v«s
still continuing, with a special meeting
being held in which Tim Rscher and his
deputy John Anderson resigned, only to
be immediately re-elected unopposed.
This instability in the National party
comes as Mr Fischer is attempting to
silence his critics within the party room,
who have been vocal in their
disagreements on certain government
policies such as the sale of Telstra.
Australia's first Very Fast Train service
will be provided by the Speedrail
consortium and will run between
Canberra and Sydney. The Prime
Minister announced that the service will
be ready before the Sydney 2000
Olympics, and will bring $5.9 billion, as
well as thousands of jobs and greater
regional development.
A new organisation has been set up to
monitor racism in politics. The
Racewatch group was launched by
Community Aid Abroad and will monitor
statements by politicians and political
parties, and will communicate these
statements to a panel of distinguished
Australians, who will comment on
whether they are racially inflammatory.
The Wallabies brought the Bledisloe cup
home after defeating New Zealand.
Not all of the news recently has made
the headlines. I bet you did not know
about Greenpeace involvement in a
recent oil spill. However, this time they
were put in the unusual situation of
explaining themselves to the pollution
unit, when BP reported a spill of less
than one litre in the Atlantic Ocean near
a ship owned by Greenpeace.
It has also been reported that German
voters can make money out of the
upcoming elections, through a new
internet site which treats Political parties
as companies on a stock exchange.
Their success is determined by their
share price, and the site allows users
to make it big by backing the successful
political party. For example on last check
the opposition party Social Democrats
were down at A$67, whilst the Christian
Union party stood at A$59.38.
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-"——
MffirTTilTl"Mi
AND THEY CALLED IT
HOST SCHEME...
Well, it's almost that time of the year again
when Host Scheme, the orientation of all
orientation programs, starts up again. Many
of you will have heard about the program
before and we hope that it was a memorable and positive experience for you as it was
for us. For those of you that don't remember, or just don't know what is Host Scheme,
let us give you a bit of a reminder...
This is a day organised by the Hosts. Each
Host will be assigned a group of first year
students from a similarfacultyto themselves
and they will be asked to organise a function to give the students a chance to meet
each other and to make ftiends. Hopefully,
when the students start Uni they won't be
put off by the size of their classes.
WH/VT IS HOST SCHEME?
HOST SCHEME DAY
Host Scheme is a first year student orientation program run by cun'ent students.
During the day, the Hosts will meet up with
their function group and give a tour of the
Monash campus which will also include visiting the relevant faculties. This is normally
followed by a barbecue, bands, activities and
prizes.
WHAT DOES HOST SCHEME DO?
Host Scheme gives new students the opportunity to meet potential classmates and
friends as well as current students who are
a direct source of information regarding
Monash University. The Hosts act as guides,
show first year students where lectures will
be held, introduce them to faculty staff as
well as a look at the range of extra activities
offered at Monash.
HOST SCHEME CAMPS
There will be five camps by the beach in
Somers for three days and two nights with
approximately 100 new students and twenty
Hosts on each. We expect lots of eating and
drinking and general merriment to occur.
HOST SCHEME FUNCTIONS
HOST SCHEME NIGHT
We will book a top Melbourne nightclub so
you can party on long into the night. A great
night out is to be had by all. This year we
used the Metro Nightclub and next year...
well you'll just have to wait and see!
How 00 I BECOME A HoST?
Keep an eye out for applications in about
September or October. Hosts will be selected
on the basis of these applications and possibly an interview. There are many activities
which you can be involved in as a Host and
we recommend that you get involved in each
and every one.
Ronny Uew and Marie ContI
Host Scheme Co-ordinators 1999
We look forward to seeing you all during
Summer. Lots of luck for the rest of the year.
(Host.Scheme@adm.monash.edu.au)
COME ONE,
COME ALL
Sunday second of August was the grey and
windy day on which Monash Clayton held
its 1998 Open Day, now known a? Monash
Day in an attempt to make it sound cool.
Various faculties opened their doors and
displayed their wares to next year's prospective JAFFYs, and in addition, visitors had the
chance to find out about campus facilities,
clubs and societies. Anxious parents were
provided with seminars on how to help their
children with the transition into university.
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Unlike last year's attempt by some groups
to close Open Day, political action was kept
to a minimum. However a certain amount
of graffiti did appear around campus. This
included the alteration of the Monash Day
slogan 'Open your mind' to read 'Open your
wallet'.
Kathryn James
liSMiMJUdlUMd*!
Nitrous Oxide ie no laughing matter
UNIFIED AND LOCALISED
STUDENTS GOING THEIR WAY
There are a few facts that all Monash
students should be aware of:
•
Monash has a corporate plan called TTie
Monash Plan: Leading The Way. Under
a subsection titled
'StudentInvolvement' it is written: 'By 1999,
Monash will have a considerably
enhanced and coherent University-wide
student organisation capable of
representing, and providing advocacy
and services, for all students.
Concurrently, a jointly owned campany
will be established in which the
University and its student, will be
shareholders,
to
provide
a
comprehensive array of trading and
commercially focussed student services
and amenities.'
The Monash Plan is the defining
document of Monash and it allows
Administration to cany out any activities
that are toward the objectives outlined
in the Plan. The introduction of up-front
fees is an example of how University
activities can be condoned as part of a
larger strate^.
The only way The Monash Plan may be
altered, and the Administration directed
toward certain aims, is through
University Council - a board of twentyone members with only one
undergraduate student member and
one postgraduate student member
MUFSO stands for Monash University
Federation of Student Organisations:
two representatives from each of the
five Monash student organisations
meet to become the MUFSO Executive.
MUFSO was created a few years ago
as a compromise between student
organisations and Administration when
there were suggestions that the student
organisations should be amalgamated.
MUFSO now deals with cross-campus
issues and formulates responses to
University policy by streamlining student
responses from all five Monash
campuses.
At the July meeting of University
Council, The Monash Student Plan was
passed. This is the first cross-campus
student project for Monash, the first
time a student policy has been passed
at University Council and the first
student plan in Australia.
This year the MUFSO Executive decided to
ensure that the student organisations would
not be amalgamated. Each student
organisation avoided amalgamation
because it would result in the University
Admin controlling all student funds, student
revenue and essential student services,
while students would be left to form a
financially-dependent student-advisory
committee which would be unresponsive to
individual campus concerns.
In 1998, MUFSO also wanted to define
itself, outlining to student organisations and
the University that it vrtiuld not replace MSA,
MonSU, MUGSU, MUBS or VPSA. MUFSO
wanted to ensure that it remained a
federation, an umbrella body only, leaving
the local student organisations autonomous,
approachable and a place where students
could become active.
In order to achieve this, MUFSO created The
Monash Student Plan: Unified and
Localised. After much discussion on all
campuses with many different student
representatives, MUFSO decided on the
themes of unification and localisation student organisations supporting one
another and speaking together without
losing their autonomy or campus support.
The student document also uses the three
themes of the University: engagement,
innovation and internationalisation, to
discuss how MUFSO will provide students
with a system of representation,
communication and organisation.
The Monash Student Plan does not commit
individual Monash student organisations to
anything but pro-student policies. It leaves
of all the student associations free to
operate as they may wish. Individual
students will not be directly affected by TTie
Monash Student Plan, as their main point
of contact will still be with campus-based
organisations. Indirectly, students will benefit
greatly as student organisations will begin
to share information, campaigns, sen/ices,
staff and other resources. MUFSO hopes to
provide students with more services and
better quality representation by linking the
existing student organisations and
expanding their different strengths into other
Monash campuses.
The Monash Student Plan provides for
annual consultation and review of what
students want for the future of their
organisations. Should students want to
include their views, they should contact their
campus organisation, as MUFSO has agreed
that each organisation will hold forums on
The Monash Student Plan and ideas for next
year will be collected. Copies are available
on request to the MUFSO office or your
campus organisation.
JacquI Cameron
MUFSO Convenor
University Council UmSerffaduate
Member
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page 9
Yes. England is in Europe.
W!ms^ss^^^:tiitia
:^^aa
As you may or may not be aware, Monash University is
cutting staff in large numbers from all "non-vocational"
disciplines like Classics and Pure maths. This will inevitably
lead to the closure of some departments, and the
unavailability of subjects next year.
Most people, when presented with this situation, shrug it
off, and say "So what? What do 1 care? It doesn't affect
me." But here's the crunch: It does.
"Non-vocational" disciplines form the basis for any
university's academic reputation. If these are removed, the
university's reputation suffers. If the university's reputation
suffers, then the value of its degrees declines. This affects
the degrees of all students; not only the degrees we are
currently working for and those which past students have
already worked hard for, but even those of fijture students.
Why is Monash cutting staff? The official line is that the
university needs the money. But, quite frankly, that stinks.
Anybody with half a brain can work out that the university
still has enough money to splash it around rather liberally
on its building projects. And isn't it interesting that the
In the face of the new Monash Uni Grab For Cash^" (formally
known as education), those who were once exclusively academics
concerned with educating students, have been forced to become
marketing managers for the product that is their course. Some
have shunned this transformation, leaving us to witness the
phenomenon of quietly-spoken intellectuals metamorphosising
into fierce crusaders for the cause of knowledge. One such
crusader is politics lecturer, Dr Paul James.
Paul responded to the VC's sacking of Emeritus Professor John
Legge, immediately following an Arts faculty stop-work forum
at which he spoke, by writing an article for The Age. (Monday
August 10) He described the Vice Chancellor's move as
"vindictiveness against a long-serving and respected staff
member." As an unpaid Emeritus Professor, not considered part
of the corporate body and not attracting union backing, Professor
Legge presented a softer target than Dr James, after both academ ics
spoke at the forum.
university has found a great way to save face by making it
speaks out of turn Is hit over the head," he said.
more attractive than ever for staff to retire? It's a really
Dr James claims the Vice Chancellor, as the CEO of the globallymarketed Monash Corporation, is concerned only with the image
projected to the world, rather than the pursuit of knowledge.
Critical thought in this new corporate environment is valuable
only to the extent that it builds public profile, and therefore attracts
student consumers. Critical speech directed at the university and
the system in which it operates is absolutely taboo.
good way to save money by paying people extra to retire...
not!
Most of all, though, the staff cuts are exceedingly shortsighted. Not only does the decline in reputation affect our
employability, but the lack of learning mars Australia's
international reputation and ability to compete. Areas such
Dr James rejected claims that the Vice Chancellor's hand has
been forced by the federal government. "The VC is running
ahead of the game," he said "The structural change in llie educiition
system has been incremental since (former Labor education
minister] Dawkins, but [Vice Chancellor] Robinson is trying to
get out ahead of it," he claimed, stating that the VC's motivation
was corporate gain and conunercial-competitive advantage against
other institutions.
as pure maths and theoretical physics form the basis for
Australia's engineering profession. Discoveries and
advances in these "non-vocational" disciplines are necessary
for advances in the "vocational" ones. It is only a matter of
time before Australia falls behind the rest of the developed
world in terms of its technology.
So, please, ask the Vice-chancellor not to be so short-
The VC has declared that stop work forums must not be held
during semester time, nor on university property, prompting Dr
James to observe that "the university no longer belongs to the
students or the staff, but to the corporation." A memo has since
gone out to all Arts Faculty staff from the Vice Cliancellor
demanding that they prove they were not at the stop work forum,
to avoid having their pay docked. Paul likened this reaction to
criticism to the methods of the One Nation party. "Anyone who
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Dr James is scathing of the university's corporate priorities and
management style, and mourns the resulting battle for departmental
survival within the Arts faculty that was forced by administrative
cuts and a shift in priorities. "People are scared for their jobs," he
lamented.
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sighted! E-mail him on
david.robinsontaiadm.monash.edu.au
Oh, and if you've got any questions or want to help, feel
free to email me on mpow3(a)student.monash.edu.au
Michael Power
Adam McBeth
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Thank you youn^ crone. Here is a purse of money, which I am noX. qoinq to give t o you
Save Arts!
'By the end of this year, the Arts Faculty will have shed
15% of its staff.'
The most important thing for students to know is that the Arts
about everyday students who are not getting the education
Faculty is in serious troubic, and that this is symptomatic of
they were promised - not to mention the education we are
the broader changes in education that we' re aJI so worried about.
paying through the nose for! If you have any complaints about
On Thursday .W' July 3(H» plus slaffand students.
packed the Rotunda 1 Lecture Theatre to protest
the Monash Plan and Cuts to the Arts Faculty.
Seven speakers, including niy.self, spoke about the
value ot'humanitles education and the need to stop
the slash and burn policies of the University
Administration which will result in systematic
"•'"'"ct and course closures.
~
your subjects, come up to my office and add them to the list!
By the end of this year, the Arts Faculty is expected to have
shed about 10% to 15% of its staff. That's about one in five
Something has to be done. The recent MUFSO/NTEU Arts
general staff {do those people behind the information desks
Stopwork Forum was a great start (MUFSO = Monash
really look like they don't already have enough to do?) and
University Federated Student Organisations and NTEU =
more seriously, it means that subjects, and in some cases whole
National Tertiary Education Union) and saw RI packed to the
subject areas, will be lost because Monash thinks it can't afford
rafters with angry students and staff. It also saw Emeritus
to pay people to teach them.
Professor John Legge kicked out of his Arts Faculty offices for
speaking out against the university's management.
for?'
So far we know that Classics (Ancient Greek, Latin and other
studies). Thai, Vietnamese, and Sudanese are going for sure -
MUFSO, MSA and the NTEU will continue to work together
and many others are still on the chopping block. In other areas,
on this issue, and problems like this that may (and probably
classes arc so overcrowded that enrolled students have been
will) crop up in other faculties. We need your help. If you'd like
told that there isn't room for them in tutorials that already
to be involved, come up and speak to me at MSA or speak to
contain twenty-five people each.
Dave McClusky in the MUFSO Office (near the Health Service).
Staff in the Arts Faculty have been fighting this all year, and
Thanks,
some are now going to the media, including Paul James who
Melanie McGralh
recently had a fantastic article printed in The Age. Students are
Education Vke-President
also considering taking legal action with the support of the
MSA - students who think they deserve a place in a tutorial,
PS. If you haven't yet filled out an Evening Classes survey, I'd
students who believe they should have the opportunity to finish
love you to come and collect one from the reception desk of
their major at Monash (and not RMIT or Melbourne as the
MSA and deposit it in my pigeon hole. It takes two minutes to
Dean of Arts is constantly suggesting), and students who believe
fill out and will be a huge help when I make a recommendation
that three contact hours a week for an advanced language subject
to the University about the level of evening classes students
does not provide them with a quality education. We're talking
require.
^ ^ ^ tees
*:*«J
,.ji«e
Class Cuts
The Administration's corporate Plan and policies will
disadvantage both existing and future Monash students. In fact,
tnany students have already begun to suffer under course
closures. For Example: students undertaking classical studies
will no longer be able to complete their degree at Monash
University and have been told they can attend Melbourne
University. This is not an adequate solution because it ignores
many significant problems students may face in attending
another university including increased transport costs, a loss of
their university community, limited or no access to Student
Association Services at other Universities, and in the case of
studying parents, extra childcare costs. It also ignores the fact
that when students select and undertake a particular course of
study at Monash, the University has a duty to ensure that
students are able to complete that course.
The University's systematic subject and course rationalisation
program has even raised a number of equity and discrimination
cases. Recently, a Legal Studies class was told that about twenty
or more student places would have to be cut. Exactly which
students were able to continue the course was decided on the
basis of who could run to the front of the lecture theatre first
and sign-up. This is not a fair or balanced way of deciding
enrolments because it does not take into consideration the equity
criteria and discrimination policies which are trumpeted by the
University Administration in their Monash Plan.
The University Administration continues to pay lip service to
equity considerations inproviding education to the community.
However, their present practices, and the likely consequences
of slash and burn corporate policies have and will continue to
result in many students suffering discrimination and
disadvantages in their education. All students must continue to
stand up and provide vocal support against faculty cuts that
will see the loss of support, information and teal choices about
education.
Sandra RoennfeUt
Women's Officer
m^M^sss^
I know a little German. He's sitting o^er there.
wm
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page 11
^t^l^l^i^'.yv,
Uni 2000:
TOP s vision
Upfront fees, staff redundancies, new walkways, parking crises,
speaking course is American and run on-line, and you will do a
corporate sponsorship, dead Classics dept, scathing articles in
distance-education program with an Indonesian university,
The Age - ever wondered where this is all heading? On July the
including one semester placement in Indonesia. Your tailored
The plan basically covers five key strategies for improving
16*, a group of students found out and were told to pass it on.
degree can be completed at your own pace and you will have
Monash and keeping the grass-roots level compatible with the
In this game of Chinese whispers I may have got things
more say over the assessment procedures and teaching methods.
higher aims of the "Leading the Way" plan. These areas include:
scrambled but it goes something like this: imagine you have left
You are the client and in a student-centred learning environment
Improving the Curriculum; Improving Student Learning;
school, worked for a bit, gone overseas and come back and got
your complaints will be addressed and lecturers will be monitored
Improving the Teaching environment; Improving Governance
a job. Your boss says you need to learn more about company
and re-trained if they fall short of the teaching standards.
of Academic Programs, Quality and Standards; and Improving
law, website creation, improve your public speaking skills and
communicating with the student body.
Strategic Program Development. Under these umbrellas some
learn Indonesian. You approach Monash (which is probably by
Not bad, eh? It sounded good to us too, especially for those
of the suggested changes are: developing/exploring alternative
now an office in Collins Street) and tell them your learning
who will be at Uni long enough to see these changes come about
teaching methods (including remote teaching and computer-aided
requirements and they will assemble a course, designed to meet
(starting in 2000). But before we get too excited, everyone of us
teaching programs); making degrees more flexible and subjects
your unique needs. You will go to company law lectures held
needs to look closely at the plan and scout around for the catch.
interchangeable with overseas and local universities; working
by Monash, do a website subject run by RMIT, your public
After all isn't there always a catch? But wait, I am jumping
ahead - let me fill you in on the
with industry bodies and having the Uni more active in industry
placement of students; and improving the teaching standards
and offering staff incentive/award schemes. There is more, but
background.
you really need to read the plan to get the lull gist of it.
Earlier on this year, Monash got
together and drew up a corporate
However, we are talking about some pretty significant changes,
plan called "Monash: Leading the
and as your representatives, we tried not to get too dazzled by
Way". Since then there have been
the bright lights, thus have picked out some possible hidden
many souj jokes, but the university
agendas and disguised costs. For example, some of the concerns
thought that such an ambitious
my discussion group had included were the emphasis on industry
project should be followed up with
involvement (is it corporate sponsorship? And are we heading
a complimentary teaching plan and
towards purely vocational training?), the swift removal of "low
a group was assembled to produce
demand" subjects, and equity issues - particularly with support
what is now known as "The Learning
services for smdents whisked off to Malaysia or those that are
and Teaching Operational Plan". The
doing Distance Ed Courses.
group responsible for writing the
draft includes a spread of academics
These concerns and others have been formally lodged with the
from all disciplines and one student
LTOP committee, but we encourage the rest of you to have a
representative. The plan has been
good look at the plan and add your own comments/suggestions.
circulated around most faculties and
It is rare that students are given a say in such policy measures
the LTOP people have been
so make the most of it. Don't forget that these proposals are
gathering feedback from university
being made in our names, so make sure that you arc truly being
staff Once this had been done, it
represented.
was time to tell the students. The
LTOP group, combined with
The LTOP group have until December 1998 to make any major
MUFSO, held a one-day forum
changes to the blueprint, so you have a bit of time to gather
designed to elicit feedback from
your thoughts. The LTOP plan can be found
student reps and also to request that
www.adm.monash.edu.au/dvcap/LTOP1998 and feedback can
we filter the information down to
be lodged with MUFSO at the office or by calling Ext.: 54178.
at
the bulk of students. This article
constitutes
my
attempt
at
Good luck in making the difference...
Jessica Stakes
•Jon-CAF Funded
page
12
|gr.UH«MiaiUMJBl
•TAifJUJOIESISSBH^^^H^Hi^H^H^^HH
Ray. if someone asks you if you are a qod, you aay yes.
The Decimation of the Arts Faculty
The Monash Plan, a document devised'by the University
the University, its working environment, and a culture which
This indiscriminate cutting of 40% of Arts .subjects does little
Administration to facilitate the corpofatisation of Monash, talks
emphasises academic engagement" sit rather uncomfortably with
more than restrict the choice of students as to the area in which
of "streamlining", "globalising", "inlemationali.sing". The manner
the VC's refusal to meet a senior delegation of the Arts faculty to
they specialise, and, along with the loss of 20% of Arts faculty
in which the vice-chancellor, David Robinson, is breathing life
discuss the University's funding rationale, particularly in the
staff and the subsequent rise in the teacher/student ratio to between
i nto these buzz words has frightening consequences for the future
light of the $218.RM consolidated surplus Monash generated in
1:16 and 1;35, seriously affects quality of education. One is
of higher education. The University's commitment to respond to
1997. Furthermore, head of the endangered Classics department,
prompted to seriously question Monash's commitment to " service
the needs of "industry collaborators" means that Monash is well
Saul Bastomsky, has to date neither been consultctJ with regard
orientation", for surely, especially in an era of increased education
on its way to consolidating its status as 'a market-oriented
to, nor officially informed of, the closure of his department.
costs and full up-front fees, the consumer is entitled to expect
corporation, rather than a higher education institution;
emphasising not quality education, but revenue-raising.
more from its "higher education provider".
The "Blueprint Document" developed by an executive committee
of the Arts faculty to restructure teaching, proposes minimum
Staff, too, have a sense of disillusionment, poweriessness and
The VC's introduction of "competitive reward strategies" means
class sizes of sixty students at first year level, twenty-five, at
resignation at the change in university culture. The VC has not,
that faculties, departments, and staff must rely on their ability to
second year, and fifteen at third year for Arts subjects, with those
however, been able to fully suppress sedition in the ranks. While
generate income to justify their continued existence at Monash.
courses failing to meet these criteria being terminated.
some staff remain fearful of recriminations, some have gone
The use of economic standards as those by which subsidisation
Consequently, many staff and even whole departments are under
public with their denunciations of his oppressive measures, and
between faculties will be "identified and justified" has placed the
threat. The imposition of a strict minimum enrolment criteria
others are calling for his resignation.
Arts and Science faculties under particular pressure, with the
ignores the fact that enrolments fluctuate each year as different
Arts faculty being "streamlined" to provide only those courses
faculties, departments, and subjects go in and out of vogue.
The anti-Monash Plan graffiti which appeared on the walls of
"which incorporate career-oriented skills and which link directly
Furthermore, small class sizes are imperative if students are to
the University on the eve of Open Day has gone some way in
with professional or vocational training".
receive enough attention to ensure quality of education.
lifting the morale of affected staff and students. After brooking
so much disappointment at the implementation of regre.ssive
An Arts degreeis not, however, a vocational degree. It does not
The closing this year of the Classics department, along with a
lead to a narrowly defined specialist career path; but rather opens
number of Asian and Slavic languages, History, English, Social
Monash Student Plan, which supports the University's corporate
the door to diverse employment options. Study of the humanities
Work and Women's Studies courses, is not only a great loss to
plan; and the lack of organised protest by the MSA, it was
refreshing to know that someone, somewhere, cares.
is about thinking. It teaches students to express themselves
the world of critical theory, but has also left many students part
clearly, to be critical, to discriminate between what is dross and
way through their degrees with no way to complete their minor
government policy by the "enemy from within"; the MUFSO
what is valuable; and these skills are not easily forgotten. Thus,
or major sequences. Astonishingly, the University enrolled first
just because some areas of knowledge defy quantification in
year students in these courses this year without informing them
Danielle Ujvari, Student representative on the Arts faculty
dollar terms, does not mean they.are without value.
that they were terminal.
Board
Nonetheless, the VC is determined to exempt those faculties
less able to attract corporate sponsorship from his pledge to
treat staff at all levels "with fairness and respect", Current
academic workloads among Arts Faculty academics of sixteen
to eighteen leaching houis per week and the VC's compilation
of names of staff who attended the Arts Forum are presumably
part of the University's bid to "adopt staffing policy and
management approaches which... establish Monash as the
preferred employer amongst Australian universities."
Similarly, the sacking of a significant number of Science staff
and a $2.5M cut to the faculty is defended as part of an
"ambitious new plan to strengthen its profile as a major centre
for science and technology teaching, both nationally and
internationally".
Although Monash "recognises the right of staff to be members
of unions and the involvement of those unions in industrial
relations", that this recognition does not extend to the right of
staff to freely discuss the direction in which the University is
heading, is evidenced by the curt dismissal of Emeritus
Professor and distinguished historian John Legge the day
after his critique of the Monash Plan at the Arts Faculty
forum.
Furthermore, promises that "stafTwill be informed, consulted
and involved in the development of the overall direction of
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits,
Non-CAF Funded
page 13
Monash University:
The Great Leap Backwards
separated
During the Eighth Party Congress of the Bolshevik Party
in 1919, Party discipline was discussed and eventually
defined as aa adherence to the following maxim: "All
decisions of the higher jurisdiction are absolutely binding for the lower". This maxim was then exploited to the
full under the dictatorship of Josef Stalin. Not only were
all decisions of the higher jurisdiction utterly binding
for the lower, any dissent or questioning of decisions
was not tolerated and severely dealt with. Unorthodox
thinkers were punished; exiled to Siberia, sentenced to
terms in the extensive prison camps of the Gulag, or
euphemistically "repressed". The centralisation of
power that was achieved by the Communist Party of
the Soviet Union (CPSU) enabled Stalin to have absolute control over every facet of life in the Soviet Union. The organisation of administrative structures within
Monash University, it would seem, is similar to that of
the CPSU, in that both bodies operate under the principles of "democratic centralism." A contradiction in
terms? Absolutely. The basic tenets of centralism necessarily preclude democracy. A vice-chancellor who is
certain of his support and power base within the university should have no need for such totalitarian measures.
THE MONASH PLAN
In 1987 a document was published, entitled The
Monash Plan: A Strategy for the Future. In this
document the then vice-chancellor, Mai Logan,
outlined his ideas for keeping up with a changing
economic climate, and made a commitment to
"retain[ing] the right to pursue curiosity-motivated
basic and applied research..." This seemingly
innocuous document was expanded, revamped, and
renamed Leading the Way: The Monash Plan by the
present VC of Monash, David Robinson. It would seem
that Robinson is either wholly ignorant of history or has
a very grim sense of humour because he decided to name
it the Monash Five- Year Plan. The most interesting
section of the document is Part 9: Infrastructure and
Support. In somewhat euphemistic language, the
centralisation process is outlined. While paying lip
service to the devolving of authority to the faculties and
staff, it is clear that the administrative structure of the
university will be omnipotent and ubiquitous.
Economic rationalism is alive and well at Monash, with
the Plan stating there will be a "rigorous internal focus
on efficiencies and cost savings wherever they can be
found." If this means slashing the funding to the Arts
page 14
at
birth?
Faculty by 15% £lnd retrenching one in six staff, so be it.
Like the Five Year Plan of the Soviet Union, quality and
job satisfaction are being subjugated to the balance sheet.
Also like the Soviet Five Year Plan, the end result will be
sub-standard and unsatisfactory. Scholarly research will
no longer be actively encouraged, with "less emphasis
on 'non-strategic' basic research", and there will be a
su-onger focus on vocational-type study. The Plan also
states that "all academic staff will be expected to
contribute to the University's overall profile of
engagement in research, scholarship, reflection on
Monash University, it
would seem, is similar
to that of the Communist Party of the Soviet
Union, in that both
parties operate under
the principles of
'Democratic
Centralism'.
practice, and creative and performing art." With class
sizes only getting bigger and less academic staff to teach
them, staff must be prepared to sacrifice their lives for
their jobs or they will be unable to manage such
unrealistic tasks. Academics already work extraordinarily
long hours; and to ask them to work longer hours in an
environment which is restrictive and repressive is
deplorable. As part of the centralisation process, quality
will be monitored by "enhanced internal review systems".
It is somewhat unsettling when checks and balances of
power are in the hands of those wielding that power.
MuFso's MONASH SruoB-fr Pi jiN
In response to the Monash Plan, the Monash University
Federation of Student Organisations (MUFSO), the
Non-CAl- Funded
umbrella body under which the student organisations
from each of the Monash campuses will operate, has
devised its own document entitled The Monash Student
Plan: Unified and Localised. Centralised power is again
the primary focus of this document, with some token
references to student control over student affairs.
According to the MUFSO Convenor, Jacqui Cameron,
the Student Plan has complete student support. This is
absolutely not the case, because I, as a student in whose
name it was devised, dissent lo it and find it utterly
repugnant. Yet the Student Plan is simply a reaction to
the centralising tendencies of the VC. If he refuses to
deal with the separate Student Organisations of each
campus there would seem to be no choice but lo have
an umbrella body. However, I object to this body
purporting to be independent from Administration
and the Vice-Chancellor. The Arts Faculty Stop Work
Forum which took place on Thursday, July 30 was
organised by MUFSO. This is frightening because
the body that is collaborating with the VC, is
professing to oppose him.
That MUFSO believes in centralised power is obvious
from its Student Plan. "MUFSO believes that the
centralised governance of the University must be
reflected in the organisations that represent students.
It is possible for student organisations to unify the
flow of information through MUFSO... " Unify the
flow of information? Don't they mean regulate the
flow of information and censor student access? The
aims of the Monash Student Plan, which can be
summarised by their logo, Unified and Localised, are
completely conflicting and specifically designed to
be confusing and ambiguous. This way, when the
document is reviewed every year the VC is able to
change the aims of the text as he so desires. It is
impossible to have centralised power and still be able to
effectively govern on a local level. It did not work in the
USSR for eighty years and it will not work at Monash.
No longer should institutions such as Monash be called
universities; rather they are, as stated in the Monash
Plan, "higher education providers", catering for a
specific demographic, much like a retail store. And, like
a retail store in the former Soviet Union, there is very
little choice available. If I am to be a consumer in this
new market instead of a student, please allow me the
freedom to choose that which I am consuming.
Olivia Hill-Douglas
Baldrick, you wouldn't recognize a subtle plan if i t stripped naked, painted itself purple and danced or\ t o p of a harpsichord singing, "Subtle plans are here again!'
University is one of the places where women gain their
first experiences and knowledge of the hierarchy and
institutions of the law. Legal education plays an
important role in shaping the perspectives and
perceptions of students towards the law and the possible
roles women can achieve within the legal profession.
Women now make up over fifty percent of law students
and graduates. For this reason it is necessary to examine
female students' attitudes towards their legal education
and whether, they experience any disappointments or
negative stereotypes of women in the law and legal
profession.
A 1992 study of the conflicts experienced by twelve
Sydney University female law students discovered that
the female students often saw male attitudes as
patronising. It was felt that women had to perform better
and work harder. As one female student described it 'you
have to almost forget your different and try to compete
in a male world with what you see to be the traits of a
good lawyer, being aggressive and hard'. Moira Rayner
had similarly alienating experiences in law school. "The
boys didn't treat you very nicely ... they were patronising,
and said some fairly gross things.' She described one
male lecturer as asking females questions pertaining only
to sexual offence cases, 'he'd laugh when we went red ...
we didn't like it but we didn't have the language to say
what he was doing was wrong.'
These negative attitudes towards the value of women's
presence and contribution to legal education have
changed within the last ten years, largely due to the
increasing intake numbers and successes of women
students. However, legal education still has a particularly
narrow focus. According to Professor Marcia Neave,
'students do still largely lend to accept the proposition
that the law is gender neutral and [law schools and
academics] need to expose the subtle ways in which the law
values some activities and not others.'
Many women have expressed disappointment with the way in
which legal education misses too much of what matters on a
priictical and intellectual level. Gjre legal subjects concentrate
on the adversarial nature of the legal system, on cases and
points of law, while often failing to adequately incorporate
social and political disciplines. The lack of alternative subjects
and the failure to incorporate different social experiences,
particularly gender bias within the legal system, means the
quality of legal education is undermined. This is particularly
so for women, whose career paths tend to concentrate upon
social policy areas.
The possibility for change in the legal profession, to
accommodate the qualities and characteristics of women, is
dependent upon perceptions which are fomied in law school.
Legal education which says It is natural, efficient and fair for
law finns, the bar as a whole, and the society serviced to be
organised in their actual patterns of hierarchy and domination
has the potential to dissuade many female law students from
entering the profession.
The perception amongst some women law students and
graduates is that without changes to the structures and value
systems of the legal profession, the balancing of career and
motherhood would be very difficult. A 1990 Law Institute of
Victoria survey of career patterns of law graduates found that
approximately 27% of female graduates surveyed did not
continue in private practice after admission. Of these women
65% stated that family commitments were the most important
factor in their decision to leave the profession.
The values, needs and wants of law students differs greatly.
Legal education that attempts to incorporate different value
systems and needs is more flexible and therefore more
able to influence the value of female students, both on
campus and within the legal profession. Recognition of
the benefits and qualities women can bring to legal
education and the profession can lead to a greater social
acceptance of the important roles and/or positions women
hold within our legal system. Law schools should make
students question stereotyped assumptions about the law,
because, this helps to eradicate gender, class and race
stereotypes within legal hierarchies and wider society.
Sandra Roennfedlt
Byron Bay Summer
Law School Dec, 1998
The School of Law and Justice at Southern
Cross University is running a summer school at
Byron Bay, one of the most beautiful locations
in Australia, boasting magnificent scenery,
golden beaches and a relaxed atmosphere.
Units (undergraduate) on offer are:
Q Psychiatry, Psychology & the Law
• Cyberlaw
• International Commercial Arbitration &
Negotiation
• International Criminal Justice
Places are limiled. For more information
coiitact Sandra Power al Norsearch Ltd:
Southern Cross
University
POBox 157Lism()re NSW 2480
Ph: (02) 6620 .19.12 Fax: (02) 6622 1954
lillp://www.scu.cdu.au/schools/Iawj/summer/
Please send me infonnalion on llie course(s) ticked above.
Name:
Address:
P/code: ,,„,„,
S a ' j 5 f l ffiOBn
Non-CAF Funded
E^ch f o o t 5iveat6 a cup o^ sweat a day.
Non-CAF Fundec
page IS
ooinion&
ENVIRDWATCH
On 2 July, Senator Hill tabled the Environment Protection
and Biodiversity Bill 1998 in the Senate. At the same time,
the entire Australian conservation movement - from the
Australian Council of National Trusts to Greenpeace formally announced its strong opposition to fundamental
aspects of the proposed new environmental legislation.
Australia's environment and heritage needs strong national
protection. However, the Bill provides a very narrow range
of issues that the Commonwealth can take responsibility
for, then sets up ways where even these responsibilities can
be handed over to the States, and ways that individuals,
companies and governments can be exempted from the
law.
Some of the major problems of the EPBC Bill are:
J. The list of matters of national significance is very narrow:
While the need to engage the States is a reality of a Federal
system, this should not compromise the ability of the
national government to protect Australia's environment and
heritage in the national interest. The legislation does not
provide the Federal Government with direct responsibilities
for a number of important environment matters such as
climate change, land degradation, vegetation clearance, or
water allocation for environmental flows.
2. There is no detail about how States will be accredited:
A major part of the new legislation rests on matters of national
significance being managed on the ground by States,
according to accredited processes and standards. However,
the Bill provides almost no details about how accreditation
would work, what standards would be required, and how
the public would be involved.
3. The Commonwealth will not be able to consider all
environmental impacts when assessing projects:
The Commonwealth will be required to take all social and
economic impacts into account when assessing a projea.
However, it will only be able to examine a narrow range of
environmental impacts. For example, ifa power station that
would double Australia's greenhouse pollution was to be
built on the habitat of an endangered species, then the
Environment Minister could act to protect the species, but
would not be able to prevent the pollution.
4. The Bill does not apply to forests covered by Regional
Forest Agreements (RFAs):
RFAs have been negotiated without minimum standards
for environmental impaa assessment or public participation.
They cover a substantial part of Australia's forests - all of
Tasmania, 32% of Victoria, 14% of NSW, 4 % of
Queensland, and 2% of Western Australia - which in turn
provide habitat for a large part of Australia's terrestrial
biodiversity. Regional Forest Agreements switch off
environment laws thai would normally apply to forests.
5. People, companies, and governments who sign
conservation agreements will be exempt from the law:
The Bill proposes to allow parties who sign conservation
agreements to be exempt from Commonwealth
environmental impact assessment laws. This is undesirable
and unnecessary. It is inappropriate to use exemption from
environmental laws as an incentive to persuade people to
enter into such agreements.
mssms^m
page 16
msasi^ssssm
6. The Bill fails to implement key parts of the Biodiversity
Convention:
The Bill fails to implement crucial provisions, principles,
objectives, and priority actions contained in the Biodiversity
Convention, the National Biodiversity Strategy, and National
Strategy for Ecologically Sustainable Development.
The Australian conservation movement believes there is a
need for reform to update, improve and strengthen our
environmental and heritage laws. Unfortunately, this
legislation does not deliver the fundamental reforms
promised by the Federal Government. The new legislation
should not just be about addressing the failures and
deficiencies of the last years; it must lay down a solid platform
for the future. We need environmental laws that will serve
Australia well into the next century, and we should not miss
the rare opportunity we have now to improve and
strengthen them, in the national interest.
This issue needs greater public awareness and more
attention from the media. Think about how the proposed
changes could affect environmental issues in your area.
Write a letter to the editor of your local paper, and call
talkback radio, so that others can learn and join the
campaign.
The text of the bill can be found on the Internet at the
following address:
< http://www.aph.gov.au/legis.htm >
The Environmental Defenders Office have prepared a
commentary on the bill which is at:
< http://www.edo.org.au >
Source - ACF
Ion Sumby
mssBissmsms
V\r\o(.ch\o wanV^ with sandpaper.
jDOinions
MANDATORY SENTENCING
IN THE
NORTHERN
TERRITORY
Over the past year, the Northern Territory has been in the news for passing laws to legalise euthanasia (which were subsequently
overridden by Federal Parliament), for being the site of Australia's newest and most controversial proposed uranium mine,
and, no doubt, for there having been a few people attacked by crocodiles. But the Northern Territory is also home to a less
well known phenomenon, with the introduction in March 1997 of mandatory sentencing for property offences.
Amendments to the Sentencing Act (NT) have seen the
mclusion of a new section 78A which holds that a
Magistrate or Judge MUST impose a prison sentence on an
adult who is found guilty of committing particular property
offences. The jail terms are at least fourteen days
imprisonment for a first offence, at least ninety days jail for
a second offence, and if the person has two prior
convictions, they will receive a sentence of one year in
arison if convicted of a third property offence. In the case of
uveniles (fifteen or sixteen year olds), a new section 53AE
n the Juvenile Justice Act states that a Magistrate or Judge
viUST impose a period of at least twenty-eight days
(etention on a juvenile found guilty of a property offence if
hey have at least one prior conviction. These sentences
ran not be suspended and must be served in detention.
he types of property offences subject to mandatory
entencing include criminal damage (any damage to
roperty, including graffiti), stealing (but not shoplifting),
reak and enter, robbery, receiving stolen property, assault
nth intent to steal and unlawful use of a motor vehicle (ie.
)yriding, car theft).
hese laws impact disproportionately on Aboriginal people
I the Northern Territory, who although making up
^proximately 25% of the Northern Territory's population,
present well over half of those persons incarcerated. Of
I juveniles in detention in the NT, 90% are Aboriginal.
ie Royal Commission into Aboriginal Deaths in Custody
commended that imprisonment be a sanction of last resort
ily, whereas these laws make imprisonment the first and
ily port of call. The rationale behind mandatory
ntencing is that to 'get tough' on crime will act as a
terrent for potential offenders, and effectively reduce the
; not for hn^.
-CAh Funded
crime rale. However, such policies show no regard for wider
societal problems such as disempowerment,
unemployment, poverty, and racism, issues which confront
Aboriginal people every day.
The Chief Minister of the Northern Territory, Shane Stone,
has also recently expressed support for the policy of "zero
tolerance," which basically means that all discretion is
removed from policing. This policy had its origins in
downtown New York, where the problems with drugs and
violence are infamous. Although the Northern Territory
does have a relatively high murder and assault rate and
problems with property crime, it seems incongruous that
Shane Stone uses a policy bred in New York as a model for
the situation in the NT.
The combined effect of mandatory sentencing and zero
tolerance would see many more people in jail, and
commonly for minor offences, because all discretion is
removed from police in laying charges and all discretion is
removed from the judiciary in imposing sentences. Already,
Territorians are imprisoned at a rate of more than three
times the national average. It is arguable that subjecting
people Co imprisonment, particulaHy for minor offences
and when they would have been unlikely to reoffend, will
do more harm than good by introducing such people to a
culture of crime within the prison system, and by further
compounding their sense of injustice and disillusionment.
The application of the mandatory sentencing laws has so
far seen a twenty-three year-old, single mother imprisoned
for fourteen days for stealing a can of beer, a twenty yearold man jailed for stealing $9 worth of petrol, another
woman imprisoned for spilling water on a cash register
Non-CAF Fundec
after an argument, and a juvenile being put in detention for
taking a cigarette lighter from a car, These are only a few
examples of the implications of these laws, and are
demonstrative of the danger and of blanket rules which do
not allow for pleas of mitigation, or the imposition of more
appropriate punishments, if indeed punishment is warranted
atall.
Recently, Greens Senator Bob Brown has expressed an
intention to introduce a private members Bill into the Senate
which would seek to override the Northern Territory's
mandatory sentencing laws, just as the Federal Parliament
recently invalidated the Territory's euthanasia laws. It will
be most interesting to walch the progress of such a Bill this
time round both because of the controversy over interfering
with the affairs of a duly elected Parliament (even though
the Commonwealth can still constitutionally make laws for
the Territories) and more specifically, because the major
political parties like to be perceived as tough on crime,
especially with a federal election on the horizon.
In the current political climate, where the One Nation Party
trumpets support for the reintroduction of capital
punishment, mandatory sentencing laws may seem to be
comparatively benign, but they too represent a human rights
crisis, especially because of their disproportionate impact
on Aboriginal people, the young, the homeless and the
poor.
Nicole Rodger
Note: some of the material for this article was taken from
"Mandatory Sentencing: An Information Kit" produced by
the Darwin Community Legal Service.
mssEi^xB^smK^mmmi^mmKmm
page 17
ooinion&
THE
WHITE
GREAT
Ladies and gentlemen,
LIE
I throw down the gauntlet.
I will show you in this
article how best to combat the One Nation juggernaut and that is it best not
to use violence in protesting against Hanson.
6P005E
It is easiest to demonstrate the dangers of such policies by
looking at history. "Why bother looking back at history?" A
western philosopher wrote: "Those who don't remember
the past are doomed to repeat it." We must question,
however, if memory is sufficient to prevent repetition. World
War II, which the world calls the Holocaust, teaches us at
least two important lessons. These lessons (which follow)
can be applied to the current Hanson situation:
Btwo/ ^ ^
rooR. ifJ!
oo
<T
ONE TRMK PARTY G-EIS
N£WiY
ERUCTtO AAlMBEff
In its pursuit of truth and the right to free speech, Pauline
Hanson's One Nation party has ignored other people's right
of speech and the public's right of information. Knowingly
or unknowingly, the One Nation party has committed itself
to blatant hypocrisy. While clamouring for its own right to
free speech. One Nation has silenced people it doesn't like.
Not only this, but One Nation heavyweights David Oldfield
and David Ettridge have treated their members like something
they pulled off the sole of their shoes. Let me explain.
On Friday July 17 1998, Pauline Hanson declared that if, in
1967, true-blue Australians knew what would happen once
Aborigines had the vote, they wouldn't have given them
this unalienable right. Not only is this a principal example
of One Nation silencing people it doesn't like, it is also
plainly and unmistakably racist. In a press conference in
Canberra, Pauline Hanson used security guards, paid for
by the Australian tax-payer, to eject reporters from two
newspapers. Another example of silencing people because
One Nation doesn't like them.
If One Nation's national director, David Ettridge, wants a
troublesome member out of the party, he phones David
Oldfield, Hanson's senior advisor, or vice versa. The
decision is made in minutes. Hanson is usually consulted,
but she is not known to have overruled the "two Davids"
since they took command of One Nation. Electoral
candidates have to submit signed, undated resignations as
part of the appointment, so removing them is easy. There is
no involvement by the party membership and no appeals.
Not only is this a strange way to operate a party that purports
to be the face of democratic Australia and to represent "the
people", it ispatently unheard of in politics. If this scenario
happened in the ALP or the Liberal party, the public uproar
would be deafening. What do you think of your leaders
now, One Nation members?
Non-CAF Fundec
page 18
J'
d
Let us now look at One Nation's double standards. In the
Queensland campaign, the party made much of its
opposition to politicians' "obscene perks", yet the leader of
One Nation's eleven new Queensland MPs, Bill Feldman,
complains that the extra five staff and an office he has been
allocated by the Seattle Labor Government are inadequate.
Feldman also defends his acceptance of a chauffeur-driven
limousine so he would not "fall asleep at the wheel", and
the extra $20,000-a-year he gets as leader, giving him a
$100,000-plus package. What was that about "obscene
perks"!
"When you protest against the Pauline
phenomenon, please use the power of
your lungs, not of your fists."
One Nation also claims to be the champion of small
business. Yet a string of small businesses in north
Queensland are still waiting to be paid for debts racked up
during a visit by Hanson to the region last year; and it has
been revealed that one of the new One Nation MPs, )eff
Knuth, has yet to pay a $4,400 debt to a Townsville paint
store incurred eight years ago.
Even the party's commitment to 'Buy Australia First' looks a
little wobbly - at least one Australian flag at its Queensland
policy launch was made in Taiwan.
1.
Any attempt to classify people into superior and inferior
based on race, belief or skin colour - must end in
catastrophe and destruction for all. The international
interest demonstrated these days in its various
expressions in the rights of the individual and one's
basic freedoms, in the granting of freedom to past
establishments and social equality for all, is largely the
fruit of the traumatic reaction to the disaster which the
Holocaust gave the world.
2.
Many people often argue: "But it didn't happen to us!"
This dangerous situation was acutely and fiercely
pointed out and answered by the great theologist,
Martin Niemoller, who was himself a victim of the Nazis.
In his words:
When the Nazis turned against the Jews, I didn't
react, since I am not Jewish.
When the Nazis persecuted the Catholics, I didn 't
act, since I am not Catholic.
When they oppressed the workers, I didn't protest,
since I am not a worker Then they came for me, but there was no-one left
to speak out for me.
While it is expected that the One Nation party will not turn
into a bad (or, even worse, good) copy of the Nazi party,
you know what they say: prevention is always better than
cure.
In the light of these facts, I urge you, one and all, to vote
against One Nation in the Federal election. Since I do not
attend anti-Hanson rallies for fear of getting caught in
random violence, 1 cannot urge you to attend these rallies,
sincetheni will be seen as a hypocrite. However, if you do
choose to protest against Pauline Hanson in these rallies, I
urge you to use the strongest possible language, but please
remember; do not use violence! The mainstream media
has a habit of picking up random violence and attaching it
to anti-Hanson demonstrators, with the result that these
demonstrators are seen in a bad light by the public. Besides,
as Mahatma Gandhi has shown the world for over thirty
years, peaceful non-violent protest can achieve much more
than random violence. Against Hanson supporters, could
random violence ever achieve more than a bad image?
Never! Therefore, when you protest against the Pauline
phenomenon, please use the power of your lungs, not of
your fists.
Greg Galon
There is a cliche that all politicians ate out to cheat us of our
money. It's definitely not true; not all politicians want to do
this (though it does make for some great jokes).
Sources used: The Age, "Inside a Private Party", Saturday 4
)uly
Non-CAF Funded
T h a t went down like a f a r t in a bath.
opinions
.AND THE
IN
THE
MONASH
DEFENCE
OF OUR
STUDENT
DEFENCE
UNION
ASSOCIATION
It appears that in recent weeks, there have been a number
of articles that question some aspects of the Monash Student
Association. I find it really unfortunate that a select group
of students would feel entitled to undermine the
representative body of Monash University students. The
Monash Student Association is about protecting our
education and delivering the maximum number of services
and activities for Monash Students.
RESTS
Lot's Wife is partly funded by the Monash Student
Association and provides students with an important
window on adivities on this campus and encourages critical
thinking. The MSA runs SWICH, one of the best childcare
services on any campus in Australia. It also employs
advocates who represent students who are in trouble with
the Administration or their faculty. Student Welfare is for
students facing rough patches and can help to organise
things like emergency accommodation, advice and
assistance with applying for Government support.
The MSA operates in a very difficult era under the state
based Voluntary Student Unionism legislation. The faa that
it is still able to have so many divisions, departments and
activities is a testament to student administration. Students
on this campus may not realise the sheer number of services
that are available but I will try to cover some of them. The
MSA provides funding for clubs on campus. Clubs for
waterskling, debating, raising political awareness or any
other activity are funded by your student union.
Other services which are provided by your student union
include that should explain themselves: the Monash Student
Association Book Co-operative; Wholefoods Restaurant;
Activities, the centre of free beer, free food, free bands. Green
Week and Union Nights; 3MU, Monash's own student
radio; and MUT Vision, our own TV unit with full editing
facilities. Look Into Student Theatre at Monash as well.
The MSA supports independent divisions for postgraduate, part time and mature age students and
international students. The MSA has developed a broad
range of committees to help students become involved in
campus issues and also to ensure that student voices are
heard in all areas of University life. Just three years ago the
MSA President helped establish the Not Quite Straight
Students Collective to provide support and representation
for queer-identifying students on campus.
So next time you hear about the Monash Student
Association, remember, it is a broad based organisation
that represents all students. It is more than just Wholefoods
or Activities, and you may be surprised to know what the
organisation can do for you. Respect your student union as
it gives tertiary students a voice In domestic politics and
acts as important support for students In their time on
campus.
Fergus Vial
For your chatice to win an i M a c , the most original Macintosh
since the original Macintosh, (and a VIP guest pass - including
return airfare and accommodation - to the 1998 Australian
Awards for University Teaching Presentation at Parliament House,
Canberra) tell us in 25 words or less:
WHAT MAKES A GOOD UNIVERSITY TEACHER?
3
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Phone:
Email:
Mail to: What Makes a Good University Teaclier?
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By:
Friday 25 September 1998.
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Thersa unly one thing better than serenity and that's a three strolte motor on full throttle.
Name:
Address:
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page 19
ooinion&
THE
GftfAT ART
C^^mcs
Ue
Munch Me
rtutnrinn
-^.Vff of p M f
»i V p l j
law Students
II11 wereim^, 1
M
rould.-IJLj
^"^JL
1.
2.
Be better
paid
for giving
the same
Lose
weight
after
up work.
beer.
3.
Avoid faking orgasms.
f ^ B
l ^
If there's one thing that I just can't stand, it's pretentious,
out, no dipshit Law prick is going to stop me. In order to
ignorant, stuck-up, pain-in-the-arse Law students. These
combat this anal behavior, I propose Monash introduce
cunting people walk around every day in their Country
a compulsory school uniform to be wom at all times. It
Fucken Road outfits with their heads stuck well and truly
would consist of a lycra body suit in the Monash colours,
up their accommodating arseholes. Why the Vice
which are probably red or blue or some crap like that. It
Chancellor doesn't relocate these fuckers to the
could be ergonomically advanced, boasting a large hole
Cippsland Campus is beyond me. How much designer
in the genitonial and rectal areas so you would not have
jewelry and purses made out of Bengali Tiger scrotums
to take It off to go to the toilet. It would be a rash move,
can we take? Some of us non-wanker types don't want
but I for one would welcome it. It would be worth it just
anchor can't afford bullshit accessories like these. 1 mean,
to stick it up those smug cockhead Law students.
the only fashion accessory I have is a bad case of
haemorrhoids.And if I want to let my arse-grapes hang
The Munchkin
4. Be able to dine out alone without hearing a chorus
of men asking if I'm alone.
5.
Leave washing my hair for a few days (or weeks).
6. Park the car in multi-story lots without freaking
out
7.
Read for an hour on the toilet.
8.
Stop worrying.
9.
Not lose my keys.
1. Sing show tunes, eg. 'Come fly with me, lefs fly, lef s
flyawaaaay...'
2. Make the sound of a telephone ringing, then 'answer'
your pencil case and proceed to have a chat while
speaking into it.
10. Say ' N O ' to the mechanic who wants to replace
the clutch and shock absorbers.
3. Stand next to the control panel and if anyone else
tries to press any of the buttons, look angry and say,
'Nein! Zat is ze responsibility of ze lift kommandant!'
11. Say I've still got thirty years to have my first child.
12. Put dirty clothes on again without feeling revolting.
Ways To Freak People Out In The
13. Believe what 1 tell myself.
14. Not be upset if my best friend forgets my birthday.
15. Exercise my right to work without being called a
rad cal feminist.
16. Find everyone 'nice' at a party.
17. Find it funny to go shopping.
18. Co to the hairdresser and not hear the same night
"Oh, you've cut your hair!"
19. Take in all the groceries in one go.
20. Not be easily disgusted.
21. Be able to direct a company that isn't primarily
concerned with human rights or the environment.
22. Go shopping only when 1 need something and
only come back with that item.
23. Get 100,000 on Mortal Kombat.
Menzies Lift
4. Take off your shoe and present it to the nearest
person, along with the question, 'Does that smell like
heaven or what?'
5. Pretend you're one of those lift operators and make
nonsense announcements at each floor, like, 'Fifth Floor:
Dicks, dags and dweebies' or 'Ninth Floor: Spigs and
spags and spoogs.'
6. Wait until it's just you and one other person in the
lift, then ask 'Going down?' while raising one eyebrow
suggestively
7. Starting on the top floor, position yourself in front of
the lift when the doors open, but don't get in. When the
doors close, run down to the next floor and occupy the
same position. And so on, and so on, so that the first
thing the people in the lift see when the doors open is
you on every floor.
8. Same as above, but every time the doors open, hold
up a letter until you've spelled out, 'I LOVE YOU ALL.'
24. Pee standing up.
25. Write my name without a pen (refer to 24)
26. Not have periods.
27. Stop shaving my legs/bikini line/under arms.
28. Grow a really good potbelly and be proud of it.
29. Co out alone at night and not be concerned for
my safety.
30. Open bottles effortlessly.
9. Again, wait until it's just you and one other person.
Sidle up to them while sniffing as though they were a
delicious morsel and mutter to yourself, 'It smellses nice
but is it for eating, my preciousss?'
10. Wait until the; lift is packed, then every lime someone
prepares to get off, clutch at them and cry, 'No, please!
Don't leave me! For the sake of all the kids - stay!'
Terri Psiakis
Kristina Batchelor
Non-CAF Funded
page 20
uiOaiaiiMfWi
tmnsisasnssBt
You're about a^ u^^cful a s a choco\ate
teapot.
i>pinions
WHOLE
F D O D FOR THOUGH
It is with great sadness that I announce that the Collective
has been dissolved. After a series of long and difficult
meetings, the group has decided to disband in protest at
the actions of the Monash Student Board. The decision
was reached in part because of the Board's failure to reinstate
the Collective as the managing body of the restaurant,
pursuant the binding SCM motion. However, it was the
desire of the Collective not to be associated with the new
volunteer program, implemented without consultation, at
the direction of the Board, that has forced it's hand. It is the
position of the Collective that until it is reinstated in its full
capacity, it will not act simply to rubber stamp the
management decisions made by the MSB.
The new program gives volunteers little choice in which
area of the restaurant they would like to work. Of most
concern, however, is the fact that volunteers along with
regular staff have been directed not to discuss the
Wholefoods issue with patrons. The new program also
introduces a sharp division t;etween paid staff and
volunteers. In addition, volunteers are receiving less in return
for their generous donation of labour. The new meal tickets
entitle volunteers to a main meal and soup or dessert,
whereas previously volunteers were given a dessert and a
drink in addition to a soup and main meal.
One of the aims of the Collective was to promote equality
in the work place and do away with repressive skill-based
hierarchies. The Collective achieved this by promoting
volunteer access to all front of house aspects of the
restaurant. If someone wanted to work in the cafe, for
example, they could simply walk in and offer their assistance.
Those without previous experience were walked through
the operation of the caf^, and for the most part were able to
learn on the job. The effect of this was simple: it made
everyone feel as though they had a part to play in
Wholefoods and that their contributions were always
welcome. And it was precisely this kind of work
environment that made Wholefoods such a great place to
eat at, or simply just to while away the time between lectures.
You
CAN CHOOSE
FRIENDS,
YOUR
BUT
CAN'T CHOOSE
YOU
YOUR
COLLECTIVE
In the view of the Collective, the new program runs counter
to the aims of the restaurant and is divisive, exploitative and
restrictive. The Collective believes that it has no recourse
but to disband in order to show its disgust at the actions of
the Board and to bring these actions to the attention of all
students. If you would like to know more about the issue,
or you would like to get involved, don't hesitate to ask any
member of the Friends of Wholefoods.
Andrew Saunders and Simon Saunders
The Wholefoods Collective Disbands
MAKE A BIG SPLASH THIS SPRING!
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page 21
ooinion&
THE
WIZARD
The crash-landing of Johnny's house, which managed to crush a student, an unemployed
person, a pensioner, an Aboriginal, an Asian migrant and the Australian music industry, left
Johnny pretty frightened. The conserva tive tornado had caused considerable damage, and he
was just about out of public assets and native forests to sell.
"Oh my goodness!" exclaimed the short,
bespectacled nerd, "whatever shall I do?"
DF
Dx
They agreed to proceed to meet the Wizard
of OxIey, whose compound was now within
sight.
"Go and see the Wizard of Oxiey," piped a
helium-breathing dwarf from behind a
lollipop, who obviously worked for the
Murdoch press, "she'll know what to do."
The group finally meandered to the wizard's
throne room in the extremities of the right
wing of the complex. The Wizard of Oxie/s
Image beamed at them from a huge video
screen with an ACA logo in the corner. "Go
away," shrieked the wizard, to the group's
disappointment.
"Gee whiz," chirped Johnny, "what a terrific
ideal" He asked the tabloid-sized journalist
how to find this great wizard.
"lust follow the yellow brick road," he said,
in a chararteristically simplistic manner. "Ifs
paved with the Reserve Bank gold that
Costello sold to fund his budget porkbarrelling."
Johnny eventually stepped forward to
stammer a response to the wizard, "But
we've come such a long way, O Mighty
Wizard. And we were prepared to shift all
the way across the spectrum just to bow
before you."
"Sounds reasonable," thought Johnny, and
off he headed. He hadn't got tenibly far when
he came across a singing scarecrow.
"I don't care," shrieked the wizard. "If you
don't go, I'll get the police to ride their horses
over you."
"My bootscootin' baby is drivin' me crazy..."
sang the scarecrow as he flopped about to
a rJiythm comprehended by no one but him.
He quickly stopped when he noticed
Johnny, and blushed slightly. "Hi, I'm Tim,"
said the scarecrow. "Where are you
headed?"
The group's hearts sank. Johnny turned to
leave, but waited for Tim the scarecrow, who
was trying to get his foot out of his mouth.
Suddenly, the scarecrow tripped, and
tumbled into a screen, knocking it over. The
group gasped at the sight of the two men
now before them, one of whom was
working the video equipment, while the
other had his hand up the bum of a redhaired puppet. Johnny, determined to get
his answer, now addressed the man with
his hand up the puppet. "I wonder if you
can help me," he said, "I was hoping the
wizard could give me some advice to fix
the trouble I've caused,"
"I'm off to see the Wizard of OxIey to ask
her how to rescue myself from all the damage
I've caused," replied Johnny.
The scarecrow beamed at the mention of
the wizard's name. "Can I come too?" he
asked excitedly. "I haven't got a brain, and I
wanted to ask the wizard for one. I've heard
she's really smart."
The two men in the control room looked at
each other and grinned at their incredible
luck with this guy's stupidity. "Stick with us
son," one of them said to Johnny, "we'll fix
everything," And that was good enough for
Johnny,
"She does seem to be," agreed Johnny. "And
you're such a good dancer, I'd love it if you'd
come along with me. You can be my
deputy." The new friends did not get far
before they came across a tin man with a
scary goatee who was chopping down
trees. They asked him what he was doing.
Adam McBeth
"I'm just giving the environment minister a
hand with his portfolio," replied the tin man,
"after all, it's not like my education portfolio
requires much attention." He offered
Johnny his hand. "I'm David," he said.
"I'm Johnny," replied the geek, "and this is
Tim. We're off to see the Wizard of OxIey. I
need some advice, and Tim wants a brain."
"I wonder if I could come," said the tin man,
putting down his axe. "She might be able to
give me a heart,"
"The source of what and what?" asked
Johnny.
"They're emotions," explained the tin man.
"They help you to consider the
consequences of your decisions for others."
iiiiji»mjiiiji»iBiiii:ijjiHii-m
^inj^erFaze
Donee party
"You seem to be doing pretty well in your
education portfolio without one," shrugged
Johnny, "and I bet the environment minister
appreciates your contribution," he added,
gesturing towards the sea of tree stumps
where a forest had stood only hours earlier,
"Give you a what?" asked Johnny, puzzled.
"A heart," said the tin man, indicating the
place in his chest where it should have been.
"You know, the source of love and
compassion."
inU
page 22
"Do you think I could come anyway? I've
always been a bigfanof the wizard's,"
"I don't see why not," said Johnny. The
scarecrow flopped his head in agreement.
liSMiMJfldlUl«[4.l
I never f o r g e t a face, b u t in your case. I'll make an exception.
_^
opinions
CLINTON'S
There are two things apparent from the
Clinton-Lewinski affair. The first is that
leadership is still related to sexual prowess
and politics remains a man's game. The
second is that the world is getting screwed
while we read who our male leaders are
screwing.
Clinton is not the first president to be
promiscuous and assert his power through
the conquering of women. )FK was an
amazingly prolific adulterer who took some
of the most attractive women of histimfeas
partners. These two leaders are most
notable examples of how a powerful
position can be used to obtain sex, and how
being sexually successful can reinforce
leadership.
And this is where women find it more
difficult to be perceived as leaders. Women
cannot claim seductions as evidence of their
power. When Cheryl Kernot had a
relationship with a younger man it was
largely condemned as inappropriate
behavior for a woman of her age. Her affair
was used to undermine her image whereas
Clinton's conquests, while being used
against him politically, do not see him
morally condemned. It seems that the
American people aren't pleased with
Clinton's inner office affairs but that they
would be disappointed in a President who
didn't have a bit on the side, or couldn't
attract women. The President has to be a
family man with a supportive wife, but he
also has to be a man's man - be able to
hold his own and get someone to suck it
too.
This perception of power and sex helps to
prevent women from becoming leaders;
women can't make jokes with the boys
about girls and sex, it's not their place;
women can't afford to be seen with anyone
other than their husband or partner,
otherwise they're unfaithful; women can't
be known to be promiscuous, because then
arncE
INNER
they're sluts and untrustworthy. Sexual
prowess enhances a male's leadership but
It destroys a female's credibility. Clinton is
partly damaged, partly applauded for his
escapades, but if Hillary was screwing her
secretary, she wouldn't last a day.
Now the second point. While the world
watches Lewinski give evidence against
Clinton, a few things seem lo be ignored. In
the trial itself, little information is given on
who Lewinski is, her own troubled history
and what she is gaining from making these
claims. While Lewinski's claims must be
heard and justice given to her, she cannot
be impervious to criticism and analysis.
Further, little thought seems to be given to
how the Right in America may be
manipulating this incident to bring down a
successful Democrat leader. If Clinton is
guilty of receiving oral sex from a staff
member, then he deserves whatever
punishment'the American people deem
appropriate. His punishment should be for
his crime, not for his political achievements.
The most disturbing thing about the sexual
harassment case is that while people watch
a seemingly unstable woman take down a
hard-working social reformer, they aren't
watching the wodd around them. Far more
media coverage has been given to where
the President puts his todger than to where
the US has placed their missiles. A nuclear
arms race has developed on the Subcontinent and the UN is still having
problems inspecting Iraq's production of
biological weapons, but the headlines are
firmly focused on Monica and Little Elvis
(Bill's nickname for his appendage).
Perspective on what really matters for the
US and the globe has been lost; lifeendangering politics has been eclipsed by
a minor scandal.
Here's hoping that the world is not blown
away before Bill is, in his private study.
'Thumbs up for going down!
Jacqui Cameron
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ooinion&
JDLLY
Stephen Jolly has come under critical scrutiny from the mainstream press
recently. As the national secretary of the Militant Socialist Organisation,
he has been instrumental in what are perceived to be unduly violent tactics
in opposing One Nation and its supporters. Karl Rapp interviewed Stephen
lolly to find out why he is so concerned about Pauline Hanson and the rise
of the right-wing in Australia.
ANGRV
How would you best describe the Militant organisation?
It's the Australian wing of the Committee for a Worl<ers
International, which is an alliance of left-wing parties in
over 30 countries. Our ideas are based on the theories and
method of Marx, Engels, Lenin and Trotsky - applied
critically of course to the modern world, not like a tablet of
stone from Moses. Our basic program includes: the principle
of free education for all, from child care to university; a 35
hour week without loss of pay to share out available; voting
age reduced to 16; legalisation of marijuana and the state
distribution of heroin to addicts to cut out black market and
stop people being forced towards crime to feed a habit.
Finally, the nationalisation under workers control of the top
150 companies that control 80% of GDP so that a socialist,
environmentally sound, job creating economic plan can
be developed.
\'mw\-
Why is Militant so concerned about the Pauline Hanson
and the One Nation phenomenon?
People are increasingly pissed off with the major parties
after two decades of economic rationalism. One Nation are
trying to capitalise on this mood. But their policies would
replace a class struggle with racial division. This has
happened in my home country (Ireland) and really fucked
us up - Catholic workers shooting Protestant workers and
vice versa, while the arms dealers and politicians rub their
hands and count their dollars. It's a race against time to win
over the disaffected workers and students to socialist ideas.
How does Militant believe that Pauline Hanson and her
One Nation Party can best be opposed?
By getting out onto the streets, in the media, and on people's
doorsteps to deconstruct her ideas - both the racist and the
populist calls for extra tariffs, a People's Bank, etc. Migrants
create jobs (by boosting demand in the economy the mi nute
they step off the plane) so the whole idea of cutting
immigration until unemployment eases is a slap in the face
of reality. Extra tariffs would lead to devastating retaliation
and price rises. We shouldn't try to export our economic
crisis, but help Asian trade unions in their stnjggle for justice
so as these workers can't be used as cheap labour to
undercut workers here. At her meetings, we don't agree
with beating up her members but instead talking to them
and winning them over. We have organised strikes, public
meetings, done heaps of media work, and debated with
One Nation leaders to expose their ideas and offer a better
alternative. The rallies outside her meetings are an important
but small part of the strategy to destroy racism.
Does Pauline Hanson have the right to free speech? Are
protesters denying her that right?
Pauline Hanson exercises her right to free speech every
day; she only has to fart and it gets in the paper. We [Militanfi
only get mainstream media exposure if there are allegations
of violence. So the whole argument that we are denying her
the right of free speech is a joke. We support free speech,
but there are times when free speech comes up against the
rights of the majority. For example, if a German Nazi in the
1930s calls for the murder of jews, do we support his/her
right to free speech? We say no. But in the Australia of 1998
lk!bUll<!b!U.IUM4<
page 24
!*]iMi!fldliikt^
ISESBSiSG
our focus is not on denying free speech to One Nation, but
on taking up their ideas and offering an alternative.
How do you respond to the criticism that Militant
members are "hooligans" and that Stephen Jolly incites
them to violence?
The violence seen at Richmond Secondary College in 1993,
at the ACI picket line in 1996, at the Tasty Nightclub all
came from the Victorian Police. It's a scandal that we have
been given this tag of being violent. It's a way of deflecting
attention away from our ideas. I have never been convicted
of any offence and was only arrested once, at Albert Park,
for trespass during a protest. I and 102 others were found
not guilty and had costs awarded our way. Next April our
civil action case begins in court for massive damages against
the police for their behaviour on the baton charge at
Richmond.
Do you believe that it is possible to engage Pauline Hanson
and the One Nation members in "rational dialogue"
concerning racism and cultural parociiialismf
Not Hanson, but some One Nation supporters. Still, we're
happy to debate with One Nation leaders and have done
so on many occasions, including the Midday Show, 3LO,
3AW, and Today Tonight.
How do you perceive the immediate future of the
Australian political climate?
Australia i» waking up politically. People are getting more
interested in politics and fighting for change. Those who
thought they could ignore politics (which unfortunately
includes many students) are finding that politics will not
ignore them. If we don't build a new socialist party to
chal lenge the ALP on the left, angry people may increasingly
turn to the right. Pauline Hanson won't go away through
wishful thinking, but only through the hard work of building
an alternative.
How do you judge the government's current lack of
leadership and direction on this issue? Is silence an
appropriate method of combating the newly emergent
right?
An ostrich-style approach to One Nation or neo-Nazi
groups like National Action is ahistorical. Look at the
experience in Germany, where Hitler himself said the
massive Communist Party could have smashed the National
Socialists early in the piece if they had have had more militant
leadership and created a united front with the other left
party, the Social Democrats. Leaving the fight against One
Nation to the major parties, even leaders like Kennett and
Beazley who have come out in words against her, would '
also be a mistake. Their policies of job shedding and
spending cuts have created the social conditions that breed
racism. To paraphrase Malcolm X, as long as you have
capitalism, you will have racism.
for those interested in finding out more about Stephenjolty
and/or Militant:
Militant PO Box 1015, Collingwood, 3066
Phone: (03) 9650-0160
E-mail: militant@mira.net
Website: http://werple.net.au/~militant
m,u'MMiM»mmami^mma^m^tmM
Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here.
DQimons
SUSTAINING
In the break between semesters, the T998 Students and
Sustainability Conference was held at the Uni of Tasmania
in Hobart. Being one of several Mona^sh students to attend
this 6-700 person strong experience, I return with a personal
tale of what I got out of it.
Each year, Students and Sustainability draws hundreds of
students from around Australia together to learn about and
discuss ways by which we might improve the world
presented to us. It is a huge collection of people, both in
terms of numbers and in terms of the kinds of people who
attend. What was common to'all was a sense of personal
involvement. Each person was there to learn how we can
improve things, based on a recognition that there is much
to be done, and the belief that "sustainability" is important,
in all senses of the word. Apart from all of the workshops,
the plenaries, the amazing slide-shows and stories that so
many people had, and the sheer enormity of information
and passion and life in the people at this conference, what
I really want to talk about was how it felt, and what it meant
to me to be a part of this atmosphere, and how it made me
see a few things so differently and yet so easily.
I have never been very deeply involved in any activist
group. My resistance to the mainstream and the mundane
commodification of contemporary life has mainly been in
my head. Like many of us in modern society I suspect, I
have felt pretty hopeless that I can make much of a personal
difference at the level of my everyday existence. Recycling
is about as close as environmentalism seems to get to many
people's lifestyles. I was'a'little unsure, to be honest, in
going to the conference,'as to what kind of people would
be there, knowing little other than what I'd been told by the
friend who recommended it. My first surprise was to hear
that more than 600 were expected plus locals, and that the
spread from around Australia was pretty extensive. Many
more students headed North to support the Mirrar people
in ihe fight to prevent the opening of Jabiluka uranium mine,
claiming several of our own (as did the Police in several
instances). I was looking forward to a week of plentiful and
delicious vegetarian food, created by a local chef, in the
most hearty and delectable style.
Despite the rather gloomy prognoses of the challenges that
meet any attempt to humanise our society's path and
improve our chances of seeing earth's species thrive/survive,
it was an incredibly uplifting experience for me. Why?
Because out of that conference I learned something that I
plan to never forget. It is something that I have heard said
before, but in retrospect perhaps never understood. It is
thai only when we take personal responsibility can we be
truly free. Only when we stop killing other beings directly
and indirectly can we claim to be guiltless, and even then,
there is a myriad of other little injustices we inflict indirectly
upon others. It is no use to claim that there is no reason to
feel guilty. Our guilt is systematic.
STUDENTS
If you eat meat, then every time you do so you have been
directly and indirectly responsible for the pain of that
animal. And probably also their miserable and inhumane
life. The destruction and cruelty perpetrated in fisheries is
no better. It is estimated that around 100 million sharks are
finned and then dumped back into the waters to die every
year. Such practices are endemic, encouraged and
legitimated by our ignorance and continued consumption.
This is no isolated case, but the point is this: it's not about
being guiltless.
When one really gets down to it not one of us can escape
hypocrisy. We all enjoy the benefits of economic growth,
tolerating to varying degrees the injustices and soul
destructions that are traded for our comfort. Cynical or
apathetic means that you've given up, and with it given up
part of your potential for experiencing a full life. Perhaps
little can be done but accept it and minimise it. But what is
better: to be committed to high values and accept when we
must fall short of them in practice, or to be consistent in a
philosophy of self service and relativism?
Life is complicated and often contradictory. As was pointed
out so powerfully at S&S, adversity makes us appreciate
and often enjoy what we have so much more. For me now,
it's about being aware of the reality of our actions, not just
the bits that we want to hear. Only when you're willing to
change personally do we ever have the chance to really be
open, free people. Only then can we be responsible for
ourselves, to our families, and ultimately for the planet.
What S&S taught me is that we change the world by
changing ourselves. We only ever find what we stumble
over, seek, or have thrust at us from outside. I hope that one
day we each get the chance to make a positive difference to
the world. I'm trying right now, everyday. Everyday I think
about the next step that I might take.
Matt Ford
MONASH
DRIVING
SCHOOL
•
Established 1961
USSONS SEVEN DJIVS A WEEK
MANUAL OR AUTO
PATIENT LADY a GENT
INSTRUCTORS
SPECIALISING IN OVERSEAS
CHANGE-OVER UCENCES
OVER 30.000 SATISRED CLIENTS
Discounts for Students and Staff
6184
9803 6179
P H O N E : 9803
Not ivith the good scissors.
page 25
Oi^l^ptt l/z^riA^
Cp^e^M^ve^
l^nint^-j Ti^^-^^t^
OxrvMi. e4f\ tnxn^
TTiank-you to all of the wonderful people who
submitted entries to our competition.
Unfortunately, we could only have one
winner. Congratulations to R . 5 . (you know
who you are). If you would like to come to the
Lot's Office to collect your prize^ come and
sec Michelle.
C^ntjii^M TVtwi-
hfik^t^jt^lj
This is just to say
This is just to say
I have eaten
The plums
That were in
The icebox
1 have severed
The brake lines
That were on
The car wheels
And which
You were probably
Saving
For your breakfast
U pon which
You were probably
Relying
To stop the car
Forgive me
They were delicious
So sweet
So cold.
Forgive me
I'm psychopathic
So disturbed
But so young.
1 have broken
the nose
that was on
the redneck
ptrfrMi,
1 his is just to say
1 have poured
Hot coffee
On the VIP customer
Sitting by the window
and which
you Avere obviously
admiring
in your inebriation
This is just to say
I have mangled
Your heart
That was in
My keeping
I have taped over
The Friends tape
That was in
The video
And which
You were probably
Hoping
I would cherish
And which
You were probably
Saving
For this evening
Forgive me
It was so easy
So quick
So cruel.
Forgive me
I taped South Park
It's so funny
So clever.
This is just to say
This is just to say
1 have missed
The deadline
To put in
The article
1 have pawned
The ring
That was on
M y finger
Which
You were probably
Needing
For this edition
With which
You were promising
Love
For our lifetimes
Forgive me
I was so busy
So tired
So stressed.
Forgive me
It was valuable
So expensive
So much cash.
Kathryn James
pul yoar
finger oat
ATTENTION SHORT STORy WRITERS!
And which
He will probably
Suffer
Forgive me
he was a dickhead
so arrogant
so lame
Amy
This is just to say
From immeasurably
Cj/ton
Forgive me
But understand he
Was so annoying
So deserving.
Express Media and Lot's W/e very cheerily
present T I N Y EPICS - A national university
short story competition.
published in all participating newspapers and in
Voiceworks. Four runners-up wi II receive $15 - $50"
and a subscription to Voiceivorks.
Entrants must:
• be under 15
keep to a i/Ooo word limit
' submit entries to the Zof'5 office by 18 September
the amount of prize money depends on the number
of newspapers entering the competition.
Bianco Lotve
The winner will receive $150 - $500'/ a subscription
to Voiceworks Magazine, and will have their story
page 26
PS. If you are interested in reviewing some books/
please come in to the Lot's office and see l<obi or
Michelle, because we have lots to give away!
I bought powdered water the other day, but I don't know what to £
Your comprehensive guide to a social
CLUBS AND
SOCIETIES
Bushwalking Club
Thermal Ball
27 August
Monash Association of Debaters
Annual Dinner
28 August, 6.30 pm
King Bo Restaurant
$28 memlwrs, $30 Monash
students
$35 other
Contact 9905 1509 for tickets
ILSA
Annual Dinner
5 September
Clubs and Societies
AGM (compulsory attendance for
clubs)
8 September
I - 2 pm
R4
Biological Society
Annual Dinner
II September
AMMS
AMMS Ball
11 September
Philharmonic Society
Concert
12 September, 8 pm
MLC Auditorium
Contact Crystal 9544 2090
Koori-Gubbah Club
Koori Weelt
14- 18 September
MUMUS
Med Ball
15 September
LSS
Law Ball
17 September
MSA
Monash Postgraduate
Association
The MPA is looking for articles
(max. 1300 words),
quotes, jokes, .stories - anything
capturing student life.
The theme is 'linking
postgraduates' and you will be
published in Compass '99.
Submissions to MPA office
by 28 September, or call Fiona ext
51384.
ACTIVITIES
Stevie Starr
26 August
Lunchtime
Free beer
Return of the Green Week
Cellar Night
26 August
Cellar Room
SRA CLUBS
Men's Cricket Club
Training
Every Wednesday, 6 - 8 pm
Main Rec Hall, Sports 7 Rec
pERfORJVliNG
ARTS
ALEXANDER
TflEATRE
Just a gentle reminder that the Alex
reserves eight tickets for student
rush, at $10, for every performance
of it's Fit For Life season (ie.
Closer and Corrugation Road)
Lockie Leonard Scumbuster
29 August, 2 pm
Theatre South
Closer
1 - 5 September
Corrugation Road
15 - 19 September
Robert Blackwood Hall
ROBERT
RELIGIOUS
CENTRE
Free Lunchtime Concert series
I.10-2pm
Mogilevsky Duo
27 August
La Compania
3 September
Harpsicotd Duo
10 September .
Organ - Thomas Heywood
17 September
Trc Fbntane, Feast of Fools
24 September
STUDENT
THEATRE
Bookings: 9905 3108
e-mail:
studenLtheatre@adm.monash.edu.au
Kvetch & Acapuico
2 - 5 September, 8 pm
112 price matinee 4 September,
2pm
Adult $9
Concession $7
Drama Theatre, PAC
Noraa - A Musical Drama
25 - 29 August, 8pm
Adult $15, Cone $10
Drama Theatre, PAC
DrauRen vor der Tiir (The Man
Outside)
Performed in German (English
translations available for loan from
the Student Theatre office).
19-22 August, 26-28 August, 8 pm
Adult$12($10prebooked)
Conc$10($8prebooked)
Student Theatre Space
Comedy Revue
Prime Alien Carcass
2 - 5 & 9 - 12 September, 8 pm
Student Theatre Space
Full $8, Cone $7, Players $6
Bookings 9905 3108
First five people to present this
edition of Lot's Wife at the Student
Theatre Office will win double
passes to opening night.Julius
Caesar
9 - 12 September
Adult $15, Cone $12
Beckett Theatre, CUB Malthouse
Vinegar Tom
2 and 9 Oct
Adult $15; Cone $10
outside Engineering Bldg 60,8pm
life.
A Lady Mislaid
Performed at Mannix College
8-12 September
See poster for details.
Free \Ux Ticket*
lb win one of four double passes
to the following plays, go to the
Box Office at the Alexander
Theatre at 9:30am and do the
following;
Closer - say to the box office
ladies, 'I lovecybersex'. Opening
night, Tuesday September I.
Corrugation Road - name the
play that was previously created
by the creators of Corrugation
Road. Opening night: Tuesday
September 15 (Hint: The answer
is in the Alexander Theatre season
booklet available at the theatre).
roRujvts
The Phantom Body
18, 19, 23-26 September
8.30 pm
All tickets $10
Student Theatre Space
The BU Benefit
'Celebrate Your Natural Shape'
Presented by the Anorexia &
Bulimia Foundations of Victoria
The Metro Nightclub
Sunday August 30, l-6pm
Tickets $20 (15$ for unwaged)
Ph: Ticketmaster on 136100
Little Fish
18,19, 25,.26 September
6.30 pm
23 - 25 September
I pm
II November, 8pm
Entertainment includes: The
Mavis's, Rebecca's Empire (well,
most of them), Tiddas, Monique
Brumby, Wendy Rule, Tuff Muff,
Women in Uniform, Edwina
Preston, Ruby Doomsday & Mint
A Minor Service For
Monash Students
BLACKWOOD
'Q.M'T^
only
Handel's Messiah
10 November, 8pm
For all your servicing needs
Bral<es
Mechanical repairs
Manufacturer's handbook servicing
Dynotunes.. .carburettor/ EFI / LPG
We wash and vacuum your vehicle
Choral Series 5
11 November, 8pm
Melbourne Symphony
Orchestra
13 November, 8pm
Conductor: Hiro Iwaki
Violin: Pekka Kuusislo
GLINKA Ruslan and
Ludmila
BRAHMS Violin
Concerto
STRAVINSKY Petnishk
Pon't vomit on concreX^ if you have been drinking red wine. It stains.
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Oakleigh:John - 9568 4911
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33 Warrigal Rd
136 Centre Rd
rpaoe aSbun
ravel
in Concentration
across the globe yet evidently a place where people
Humiliation and dehumanisation of the prisoners
lived, were born, got married and even took holidays, I
seemed to be a high priority for the Nazis. The rows of
men with shaved heads, prison uniforms, gaunt faces
suppose.
and no expressions, simply didn't seem human
As the bus drove back to the city, grandpa and I walked
anymore; such that killing one of these persons devoid
slowly together. I imagined that the camp hadn't
of everything, including almost a face, seemed to be an
changed much in some sixty-five years. We marched
iricreasingly easier task for the Nazis. The twenty or so
through the wide concrete and pebble path flanked by
toilets In each of the huts were inches apart with no
a large concrete fence and for me, this confirmed just
doors, let alone seats. Stripped of dignity, starving and
where I was. I could almost feel the cool chill of winter
on the verge of death. Photograph upon photograph. I
as the guardsman kept eager watch. Inhaling his
felt myself beginning to cry.
cigarette in the cold.
The February air outside seemed a million light years
Spanning the width of the camp and what I assumed
away The museum seemed to have had the same
was a couple of hundred metres in length, the main
profound effect on both grandpa and myself. The
building - now a museum - in its drab colour scheme
crematorium of Dachau and the gas chambers are
of concentration camp grey, stood watching the whole
situated at the far end of the camp. Two incidents here
camp. A giant chess piece that had never moved. Side
stuck out in my mind. The first was the actual
by side, grandpa and I began our journey through the
crematorium - that abominable place where some thirty
documents, photographs and remnants of the camp
thousand bodies were roasted. One of them was a
that were on display The first part of the museum
British spy She was of Indian origin and a woman. I
(literally meaning its main
showed us various superimposed photographs,
remember feeling a microscopic association with her.
railway station) is like a heart. It beats with a curious
documents, advertisements and articles giving a
She must have felt so out of place to die here. The second
Munich's Hauptbanhhof
incessance day and night. Venous-like tracks bring a
historical background to the Third Reich. Yet none of
incident was of a more humorous nature. As I stepped
plethora of commuters from such cites as Vienna, Paris
the black and white photos, no translations or letters
into the gas chambers of Dachau (never originally used)
and Geneva. And there are thousands of people
provided greater impact than a few words by the
I turned to wait for grandpa to follow me. His moment of
reverently waiting for a numerical signal - the meeting
German poet, Heinrich Heine, written in 1820. 'This
utter hesitation and wonderment was fantastically and
of two hands on a clock that signals their departure as
was but a prelude; where books are burnt, human
humorously reassuring in that most human of ways.
they step onto the great platforms and are whisked away
beings will be bumf in the end."
to Venice, Rome, Warsaw... until the next heavy beat of
this mechanical heart.
Santayana is quoted as saying 'Those who cannot
The rest of the tour through the museum is hard to
remember the past are condemned to repeal it'. The
describe. I can describe what I saw but the emotions
eternity we have to wait for the bus to take us back to
I was underdressed for the cold. My mind floated away
I experienced can in no form be translated to anyone
Dachau (the town), the train ride to the hotel and the
for a desperate instant and I was home in Melbourne
else. I glanced at the other visitors to the camp
nature of the train station reinforced in my mind one
with my best friend I had left behind. I could almost feel
museum. I wondered what they were thinking. Had
thing - that humanity's future, which for each of us starts
myself sweating as I pictured us trying to get to sleep.
they ever seen such a sickening
today can only be better than its past.
Unreality glossed everything. I simply wanted to flee. To
representation of death like this before?
historical
Nick Schaerf
get out of this forsaken amalgamation of stern people,
recycled air and harsh syllables.
The previous evening I led my grandparents to the
Munich tourist information centre.
'Humiliation and dehumanisation of the prisoners
seemed to be a high priority for the Nazis.'
'We'd like some information regarding a visit to the
Dachau concentration camp,' I hurriedly translated in
my steadily improving German. The lady slumped
behind the desk peered at me with disapproving eyes.
She answered my request with almost Gaelic disdain.
'It's called a memorial,' she insisted condescendingly.
For some unknown reason I thought of a field of poppies.
'Memorial' Is such a soft, almost tranquil word.
'Yes', I continued. We're just wondering the best way to
get to the concentration camp.' I didn't mean to
antagonise her.
'It's not a concentration camp. Not to our generation. It's
a memorial.'
I remember seeing the sign at the railway station for the
first time. DACHAU. A word synonymous with death all
page 28
•j^/f-t ^ ' '\^-i*f"
tp
Travelling Tips
When planning your trip, my first advice Is to avoid this type of
person. They are generally boring, full of themselves and are
not fooling anybody. Travelling is hard work but there is no
mystery attout it. There are just a few things you need to know.
I have designed a list forfirst-timers,particulariy those who are
going solo. No matter how you want to play this trip (even if the
idea is to sit in a tree in Israel and chant mantras) you will not go
anywhere without a few essentials.
These include:
Passport:
For any legal travel outside Australia you will need a passport.
It does not necessarily have to be an Australian passport, but
it does need to be valid for the duration of your trip and often for
six months afterwards. To get a passport you need two
passport-size photos (hence the name), birth certificate or other
(D proving you are an Australian citizen, $126, and you will
need to get someone official to verify the form. Application
forms are available from the Post Office and can be lodged
there. It usually takes ten working days to process so allow
some time, partrcularly if you need to get visas as well.
Once you have your passport hang onto it and turn away from
enticing offers to sell it to some cagey Egyptian offering you
2000 camels. Although its tempting to cash it in and declare it
lost to the embassy, it's really not a good thing to be in a foreign
land without some identification and ifs even worse to be in a
foreign jail without one.
I
!&.UQL
(most tickets are valkj for a year). Shop around and start knking
eariy - your ticket m\\ be the most painful purchase so give it
some thought.
for Tertiary Trippers: Part 1
There is nothing to travel,right?Ask any veteran traveiler. Their
eyes wiii light up. the voice becomes soft and you will get a
whole monologue littered with words like "freedom", "flow",
"buzz", "vibe" and "oneness". Push for specifics, such as how
to book a plane ticket, and the guru will become agitated and
vague, annoyed at having to explain the menial details. The
problem is that, to the experienced traveller the world is neatly
divided into those who can and those who can't; and people
who don't know where to get a passport fall straight into the
second category.
roao©
injections:
This is an area that can cause furious debate amongst medical
practitioners and if you do go to more than one doctor, they are
sure to disagree on the type of medication you will need. I met
these two New Yorkers in India who arrived unprotected
because their doctor was convinced that India was diseasefree (he probably thought they'd said Indiana). There is a
benchmari< body in l\4elboume called the Travellers Medical aiKl
Vaccination Centre (phone: 9602 3788), that will be able lo give
you a yes or no, and they are probably the best people to see.
They can also give you a yellow card which is an internationallyrecognized certification of the injections you have had. This is
often a good idea in places like India where they have routine
immunization checkpoints: a process where passengers of a
vehicle get pulled up and jabbed with a needle (the same needle,
it is said) unless they can prove that they have been immunized
beforehand.
For more informalKin about Passports call the hotline on: 131 232
Visa:
Generally it seems that the mder Australia Is to a country, the
more likely you will need a visa or permit to go there. Take
France, for example, where, until recently, only Australians
and a few other disagreeable nations were forced to
purchase a visa (and an expensive one at that). To find out
whether you need a visa, the best people to speak to are
travel agents or the relevant embassy. Never assume you
don't need one - 1 have seen several people gel turned back
at Customs and miss their flighls. If it turns out you do need
one, be warned: diplomats are harder to catch than academics
and are not ashamed to keep hours between 12:30pm and
1:00pm. Even with all this spare time, it still takes ages (up to
three weeks in some cases) to process your application, so
be organized and get in eariy. Sometimes the travel agent will
process it for you for about $10, which may be a good idea,
unless you really dig embassies.
By the way, don't panic if you change your mind during the trip
and decide that all along you really did want lo go to
Bangladesh. You can apply for a visa in practically any country
and sometimes it is even cheaper than doing it from home.
Plane Ticket:
Australia is probably one of the worst places in the worid to
buy an airiine ticket - tmst me - you will kick yourself when
you see the prices overseas. How much you pay at home
really depends on the nature of your trip. If you are going for
some time and plan to wori( etc, then it's best to keep the
ticket-buying at this end to a minimum. You will undoubtedly
see better prices while you are away and you don't want lo
be stuck to arigidschedule if you have no idea where you are
going. On the other hand, if you are the orderiy type and like
planning, it's best to do it from home, where you are less likely
to be burnt by last-minute airfares and sold-out flights. If you
fall into the third category (ie. orderiy type who transforms
into freedom loving hippie while travelling) don't despair even if you have bought a ticket it is often partially refundable
and you can always change the date without being penalized
Backpack:
You don't have to have a backpack to be a backpacker Some
people love their suitcases and others swear by sausage bags.
The advantage of a backpack is that your hands are free, and
this is a good thing in vehicles and for pushing through crowds.
Most backpacks cost around $300 to $400 and they come with
all sorts of special offers and guarantees. Try to get one that is
waterproof and really strong. Packs that can be locked are
also useful and side-pockets can be a plus for things like cameras
and food. The harness is also really important: you are going to
carry that thing a lot, especially if you are by yourself, you
really will need it to fit well. Disposal stores and travel/camping
type places generally sell backpacks.
In the next edition of Lot's, I'll take you through:
§
Money Belt or Neck Carriers
§
Money
§
Insurance
§
Luggage, and
§
Other Essentials
In the meantime, happy travelling!
Jess Stokes
R6cf hot P^S\CL
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ok computer
Curhsfty Killed the tfet ClVlI U n r C S t
We all know that the internet Is leading the way in 'new age' technology, it is providing avenues for
communication that, in the past, were only ever dreamed of. But, at the same time, the internet is
providing an atmosphere of 'novelty' and 'opportunism' for many.
O n e need look n o further than sites on the web such as Jennycam to sec such self-promotion in
action. For those w h o don't know, Jennycam is a site set up by a college student in America that
consists of photos of her daily life. A camera sits in the corner of her room and every two minutes
or so a new image is put o n the internet. She could be doing anything at the time from getting
dressed, to eating, to having sex and it wouldn't matter, TTie pictures go on regardless. A cultural
study? Hardly.
Speaking of sex, in Lght of the mother w h o gave birth live on the internet, there was a young
American couple claiming that they wanted to lose their vapinty
together in cyberspace, It was
later revealed that they were, in fact, actors involved in an elaborate scheme to try and fool more
people than O r s o n Wells' classic radio presentation of War of the Worlds. They attempted to justify
their charade by claiming their actions were in the name of safe sex, and the site is in fact littered
with c o n d o m advertisements. But, despite their illegitimacy, the question must still be asked - why
is this happening? What is it about the internet that promotes or encourages such behaviour? Is it
the accessibilit)' of the medium, or is it more a problem within our societj'?
There are so many questions it is often hard to know where to start. Rather than looking at the
system behind setting up an individual site and how that process should be policed, it is more
interesting to try and determine why people do it. These attention seekers are becoming the tabloids
of the internet And we, the greater population, arc suckers. We watch because, as with anything
else, h u m a n nature includes curiosity.
What is even m o r e worrying than these past attempts is the probabilit)' of more antics to come.
Where will this curiosity lead? We've had the first b i n h in cyberspace, so who's lo say that the first
death isn't next? Imagine it, 'login Tuesday for the first live suicide on the internet'. T h e fact of the
matter is, society has found a new t^gion in which to push the cultural boundaries, and they are
willing to g o all the way. It is time for people to stop and consider the effect of their acuons. It is
time for the setting of guidelines and, at least, the sparking of debate.
Claire
Mammond
The Computer Game Review
Ever wondered who'd fare better in a balls-
t h a t t h e g a m e ' s l o n g - t e r m playability was
and-all biffo between English soccer hooligans
compromised by clear power disparities between
and South Korean student protestors? If you
many of the major characters. For example, the
have, you've ob\'iously got way too much time
effectiveness of the Toorak Trots' singing of
on your hands. Rjrtunatcly, there is a solution —
the Internationale was substantially diminished
suicide. However, failing that, you can now sate
once my English soccer hooligans had whipped
your bloodlust by purchasing a copy of
out their front
Ctw'/
teeth with bike
chains.
Unrest, the spectacular new splatierfest by our
Moreover, the over-hyped clash between the
good friends at Cyberpath Entertainment. Civi/
Gympie G u n Enthusiasts and the Byron-Bay
Unrest is a 3D, multi-pIaycr extravaganza that
Nose Ring-Fanciers turned out to be a gross
takes the Mortal Comhat principle one step further
disappointment, with neither side functioning
by giving the player control of not just o n e
effectively o n c e b o t h s e m i - a u t o m a t i c s and
psychopath, but rather an entire clan of crowbar
welfare payments had been withdrawn by the
wielding, beer-guzzling, boot-wearing nutjobs.
government.
T h e main objective of the game is to maim as
many people as possible whilst attracting more
T h e aforementioned criticisms notwithstanding,
media coverage than your competitors, and as
I found Civil Unrest to be a genumely satisfying
such is very similar to Cyberpath's JV/ffC/Vy-style
game that combined dark political satire with
g o v e r n m e n t s i m u l a t o r . Crackpot
Coalition.
lashings of slapstick h u m o u r . It dishes o u t
Crackpot
enough bloodshed to put a smile o n the face of
Coalition inasmuch as the player begins with
anyone who spent ttjo many Saturday afternoons
However, Civil Unrest differs from
minimal resources, and must pick up weapons
at h o m e alone as an adolescent. So for all those
and extremist political views throughout the
budding political a g i s t o r s out there, I say, "Stick
course of the game.
the b o o t in!" and b o o t up Civil Unrest, post
haste!
Whilst I enjoyed the chance to hand out some
punishment to various rabble-rousers, I did find
page 30
The Iron
Fish
)Ne did not loss Vietnam. It was a tie.
ok computer
Site by Toste
This edition's theme:
With the World C u p having just been wrapped
only a good general site, but a good Australian
up, the memories of the U.S. O p e n still fresh in
o n e at that. It can be a little tiring after a while
our minds and Matt Burke's purely legendary
of p u t r i n g u p w i t h the gazillion baseball,
pcrfotmance against the All Blacks, sport seemed
American basketball, gridiron and ice hockey
to be llie logical choice for this instalment of
sites to find just o n e half decent cricket site
Site By Taste.
sp®rt
(which probably has a fiill page dedicated to the
last Har\'ard v Yale game and a sin^e line covering
A problem I faced when compiling the following
the on-going Ashes series, if you know what 1
T o p 5 list was the subjectivity inherent in having
mean).
t o choose a list o f the " t o p " five sports, given
t h e appalling n a t u r e o f s o m e of the m o r e
Ail the links from this site are to Australian
" g e n e r a l " sites I c a m e a c r o s s . T h i s w a s
sites. T o be fair, the coverage is relatively
exacerbated by the high quality of specialised
restricted, dealing only vAth AFL, N R L , rugby
sites. If you k n o w of a better site for your
union, cricket, basketball, soccer, tennis golf
favourite sport that is not presented here, my
and motor racing. These lead to links to other
sincere apologies.
sites that cover the g a m e in general (this is
actually how I found site # 3 from the list) or to
Top 5
sites dealing only with a sinj^e team. T h e latter
5. h t t p : / / w w w . f r a n c e 9 8 . c o m
isn't around, some other link so the others don't
4. h t t p ; / / w w w . n b a . c o m
feel left out. These are usually pages set up by
include official team sites and, if one of those
3. http://www.rugby.com.au
tech-head uni students w h o feel as fanatical
Z http://www.acb.com.au
about sports as normal students d o about Star
1. h t t p : / / w w w . s p o r t s w e b . c o m . a u
Trek (or was that meant to be the other way
around?).
{Disclaimer: Site U4 acfua/fy sucks, hut a certain,
nameless editor - some might sirf the editor - made
F o r the other 1% of the population w h o have
me do it)
n o interest in any of the above mentioned sports,
This edition^ N u m b e r O n e :
namely www.sportswatch.com.au. This site has
there is a link to another dedicated sports site,
www.8port8web.com.au
links to just about every sport I could come up
with (in ten seconds anyway), but what this site
This site serves chiefly as a centre for moving to
is really about is the Uve updating of scores as
other great links t o sites dedicated to specific
they happened. Being a relative newcomer to
sports. It does include o n its homepage some in-
the Internet (compared to the Ronster, anyway)
d e p t h r e p o r t s o n recent o c c u r r e n c e s in t h e
I was intrigued by the Internet radio feature,
sporting world. Topics of discussion when I
where, with the right downloads, you could
visited here were o n the Sampras and N o v o t n a
have listened to the M C G Bledisioe Cup game
victories at Wimbledon, Newcastle's worries
as it happened. T h e ctJvcrage of France 98 was
regarding the doping issue facing the N R L and,
pretty cool too.
of course, the wrap up from France 98.
There are links to other sources of sporting info,
But, the main feature is the great variety of
such as newspapers, but I've covered the major
links offered- As I mentioned earlier, m o s t sites
features here. If you want to know more, go
that are general like this o n e tend to be quite
check o u t this site. And if you're looking for a
crappy, b u t this site serves to be a real treasure
decent site for your sport that i haven't included
trove of information, or the link to it anyway,
in my list, I couldn't think of a better place
if what you arc after is something on Australian
dian here to start looking. Happy surfing!
s p o r t That's w h a t really got me, as this was n o t
Ae/cA
Boots are not pcniscs,
Kendal/
page 31
I Friendship Never Ends h u h ?
So where t h e Hell is Geri?
Will the remaining Spice carry on with
their crusade of fighting female oppression in hot pants, with their hip brand of
political pop?'
No other phenomenon has attracted so
much intrigue and attention from the political, pop and media scene. The phenomenon I speak of is, of course, the one that
has changed all of our lives forever: The
Spice Girls.
They have made the world laugh (and cry)
with their antics, and for some, their political agenda, but now the world has
shed a collective tear for the recent news
of the Spice-split. Many will require
trauma counselling, and still more will be
sighing with relief.
In my opinion, Geri Haliwell's misadventure, ultimately only leading to obscurity
rather than a solo career, is the best thing
that could happen. Let's face it, no one
wants to see a 30 year-old pathetically
posing as 23, especially in a body suit.
However, this opens up a most devastating question:
Unlike many of my colleagues, I do not
hate the Spice Girls. I think if the predominantly crap pop of the 1980's can
be appreciated for its camp value, 1 see
no reason why the crap pop of the 1990's
can't be. In any case, closet Spice lovers
can always excuse themselves as
postmodern.
The Oxford Concise defines dogmatic
as: 'la. (of a person) given to asserting
personal opinions or imposing personal
opinions; arrogant, b. intolerable authoritative.' Although the Spice Girls may
seem farcical in their political philosophy to some, it would be taking an obvi-
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page J2
Perhaps then. The Spice Girls are
breaking the boundaries and stereotypes
of feminism. They are creating an al-
if they break up next week, they sure
have been entertaining. The episode
when they pinched a nonnally pompous and reverent Prince Charles on the
butt, gave me no end of amusement.
Insinuating themselves into British
politics was a beautiful touch, and
gave us yet another chance to laugh
at those "crazy poms".
In some circles however, The Spice
Girls remain in the realm of the absurd,
and a travesty of feminist politics. Feminist Andi Zeisler said of their politics:
"It makes feminism seem vacuous and
preposterous. By posing as political, they
devalue politics." Although in this case
it may be true, this statement may be
somewhat myopic.
jt^^kM^Mm^^^Sj^^^^
i^^^^K-
ously dictatorial stance to disenfranchise any feminism that didn't exactly
fit the mould.
temate feminism, in the form of 'Girl
Power' - which is both acceptable and
inviting to a younger audience. Existentially, are The Spice Girls subverting the subversive in their battle
against the patriarchy?
This view though, does ignore the
cynicism of the mass-produced, prefab, .sell-your-granny-for-cash, massculture machine. Any respect for
movements of the disadvantaged must
have surely gone out with their morals. It's a widely held view that Spice
Girl feminism is akin to the Beatles'
long hair. The phenomenon of Spice
could easily be correlated by the best
marketing gimmick of the decade cotton candy feminist politics.
If nothing else, I take my hat olT to
this lucrative stroke of genius. Even
Personally, I am lorn between the theories if the Spice Girls altruistically
bringing autonomy to females, or if
they are devaluing the very essence of
the movement. Perhaps the moment of
truth will be the rumoured split of the
remaining Spices.
Will they "stick together", carrying on
their crusade as "Freedom Fighters"?
Will they fade into obscurity, content
to roll like swine in their millions of
pounds? Will Mel C start a .solo career? Will Geri manage to get her face
in the media again? Will Geri and the
Duchess of York start a band? Who
will design Posh's wedding dress? For
the answer to these questions and more
tunc in, same Spice time, same Spice
channel.
Kim Pearce
Chris Kjng has a pointy butt
Small Speaker Joyland?
^
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ j i b a t you're sa^ijig right now . .
ioletine are one of those bands
that are certainly not lacking
when it comes to musicianship,
but are almost criminally overlooked
when it comes to public adulation.
Around for about two years now,
they've just released theif debut album
Small Speaker Joyland (and no, I have
no idea what that means either). They
hope to bring the scales more into their
favour with this longplayer. Lot's Wife
spoke to their guitarist Sean about life,
the universe, and everything.
V
Releasing a debut album is always going to be difficult, since it's always seen
as your attempt at a definitive statement
on where the band is. Was Violetine
trying for the big break with this? "Ah,
no. We're not the sort of band that expects to come out of nowhere and become famous or anything like that. We
just want to able to tour and headline
shows around Australia, and become
ju.st well known enough to be able to
survive off it, while we're all together.
And even if Violetine doesn't do it, then
for our own careers in the future."
The band was formerly on the Bark subsidiary of Mushroom Records, which
fit nicely with the sound of their last
few singles. Has the new album signaled a change in direction, or simply
more of the same? "Oh, the album's
Get- your hand off it.
definitely got a few surprises on it, for
anyone that has heard any of our other
material. There's a dance track, like a
drum 'n bass kind of one, and there's a
slower sort of drum loop track, there's
all sorts of different stuff. We don't ever
someone. That's how I like my music.
My favourite track on the album is
nearly six minutes long. I don't like
anything that I just hear and like straight
away, you know? It might appeal to me
when I hear it the first few times, but
I'll just get sick of it very
easily. I always like things
that take me a good couple
of listens to get used to.
Something where you find
another thing in the song
every time."
'. . . We're not the sort of
band that expects to come
out of nowhere and become
famous or anything like
that.. .'
want to be pigeonholed. The singles that
we pick are done in conjunction with
the record company, they're not going
to say 'you have to pick this one', but
it's the songs that are the catchiest, and
that's usually the three minute pop stuff.
It's more digestible for the public as
well, so that's what we've chosen as the
first two singles."
Is this the kind of song that Sean appreciates the most? The three minute
pop singles? "They're not necessarily
the ones I like the most, no. The ones I
like the most would probably take a half
a dozen listens before Ihcy grew on
For a band with very little
history, one can only look
to future. Where does Sean
see Violetine going? "It's
funny, we get asked that
question all the time, but I
never have an answer. I have no idea.
It really depends how this album is received. When you're a younger band,
you don't give a fuck how things are
received, because you've never had
anything received before. So, you're
just doing it, and all of a sudden you've
got to the stage where you've had a few
releases and a few people know your
name, and you put an album out and
you really do have to wait to see how
it's received to know where the hell it
is you're going to go next. It's not like
you can choose your destiny. But 1 expect us to be around for a while, and
maybe take a couple of albums to get
where we want to go."
While you may not have heard of
Violetine, there might be a chance
you've seen them without knowing
who they are. Having supported
Everclear, Garageland, Venica Salt
and The Mavis's in the past, they've
certainly got a reputation as the understudy who will one day murder their
mentor. But do they have any upcoming gigs? "Yeah, we're doing the turn
up your radio tour for Triple J, that
started last week. That's with The
Fauves and Pollen, from Queensland.
That's national. We're doing about
forty gigs in about six weeks, which is
pretty full on. But we're looking forward to it."
So if you want to check out a band that
deserves more than they've got in the
past, check out Violetine. With music
that crosses all boundaries (if that's
possible), and determination to get
there in the end, they'll hopefully one
day be playing the headliner instead
of the support group.
Andrew James
"Small Speaker Joyland" is out
now on White Records
page 33
^8^ Glynn M c h o l a s ^ u m i y Guy Or Just!
It was a balmy Tiiesday evening when
Slatts and Kegs ventured out to the
Universal Theatre for their interview
with Glynn Nicholas. They were told
the theatre was in Victoria street
Filzroy which is not the same street as
Victoria parade Fitzroy or Victoria
street Carlton (although they are all
very near each other). Subsequently
they could be seen running through the
streets of Fitzroy about thirty minutes
late.
end up taking over or outstaying their
welcome."
Kegs, then, in an attempt to discover
what makes up the man, enquired
about Glynn's previous occupations.
"I was a wringer-outer for a one-armed
window cleaner. I wrung out his
cloths," he stated with a straight face.
"Then I got a job at Arnotts. It was my
job to break the first biscuit in every
packet," he continued, cracking a wry
smile.
It was hard to tell whether or not Glynn
was upset as he presented such a composed figure, accompanied by his
seemingly laid back director, Terry.
After many apologies and a lot of grovelling Kegs and Slatls proceeded to
delve into Glynn Nicholas the man and
his new show, Pumping Irony (the title
was written by Terry. He was pretty
proud of it so we thought we'd better
mention it). "Well, I always try to put
on a show that is different not only in
content, but in style (from previous
shows). This is a fairly relaxed sort of
show. It reverts back to what I do best,
which is working with the audience,"
Glynn said, as his facial expression
seemed to relax a little, "the show involves a lot of improvisation, while at
the same time maintaining a tight structure and is more playful than some of
my previous shows."
After Slatts mispronounced many of
Glynn's famous characters names, we
found out that Pale Biscuit and Sergeant
Smith (as a security guard in the Olympic village in Sydney 2000) make an appearance, while he is still cautious not to
be typecast by characters, "one has to be
careful with characters that they don't
When asked about being on Here's
Humphrey all those years ago, and how
it changed his life, it was found out that
he, in fact, still owns the famous braces
that he wore on the show. Slatts suggested that he should bronze them, but
Glynn just looked at him as though he
was nuts.
Glynn's show, Pumping Irony, is at the
Universal Theatre in Fitzroy every
night for the next few weeks, so you
are all urged to go and see it.
Dean 'Kegs' Harrigan
m
: A ^Mazan Road to Success
£f
'• Lot's Wife recently caught up with Lisa
' Maza who is appearing in Jimmy Chi's
t production Corrugation Hood.
f!
! The Black Swan Theatre Company's
t Corrugation Road, a musical about
f: mental health, is based on Jimmy Chi's
sU'uggle with schizoplucnia. It tells the
;• story of a journey to hell and back by
a man who previously delivered mail
from Broome to Beagle Bay.
Lisa Maza plays tlie role of Fiona, (pro-'
tagonist Bob Two Bob's first sweetheart) replacing actress Ningali
Lawford. Surprisingly she does not feel
any pressure to live up. to Ningali's
acclaimed performance, 'You cannot
I compare the two roles, she said 'Each
'. actor's performance is unique, offer-
page 34
ing their own specific style to the production'. Lisa has appeared in stage
productions such as Radiance by Louis
Nowra (for the Queensland Theatre
Company), Nathaniel Storm for the
NIDA Company, and has also been
involved as a lead singer in a number
of bands. She found the experience
with the NIDA Company as a valuable
one. 'They were fantastic people to
work with, particularly because of the
sheer hard work and detlication they
put into their performances.'
GiyeiSthe curretit political ciimale, at
first glance it would seem ihat Corrugation Road would bear even more
relevance to Australian culture than in
previous runs of the show. However
Lisa does not agree with this view.
'Corrugation Road is simply a musi' ial about mental health which just happens to include Aboriginal characters.
I don't think that this is a reason for it
to be more relevant politically to past
performances of tlie show.'
gruelling as we can have back
to back runs of the show. However, it is all worth it. parlicularly wlien we perform to appreciative audiences in places
such as Broome (ie. Jimmy
Chi's birthplace).'
Corrugation Roadplays at the •
Alexander Theatre from 1 5 - '
19 September. To win one of
four double passes, go to the •;
Box Office at the Alexander^
Tlieau-e at 9:30am on Tuesdall
15"' and do the following:;
name the play that was previ;
ously created by the creators
of Corrugation Road (Hint: '
The answer is in the Alexander
Theatre season booklet available at the theatre).
Megan Pearson
Lisa is currently enjoying the tour of
Corrugation Road. 'At times it is quite
Fric&, ivhy arc xhey french?
^;MiliMt«>jt
puppet Giuiz
Name Gonzo's significant Other ?
Name the captain and the^ doctor in Pigs in Space
do was the leader of the. rat pack ?
t-'
4) f ? " What colour were Miss Piggy's gloves '.'
5)
6)
7)
\. Who sings Mahna Mahna ?
Name the two old guys in the balcony
^•j j ^
What i.s Kermit's nephew's name ?
8)
9)
What was Fozzic's favourite exclamation^y
What was Scooter's job 1
io)
Who did Beaker workfof ?
11)
Who performed the voice of Miss Piggy ?
12)
What other cult'film did he briefly appear in ?
13)
What are the words to the Muppet Show theme ?
14)
Who is the presenter on Muppets Tonight ?
15)
Which character blew up the theatre where the
Moppets-performed ?
Dave McLay
Give-AwavsGalore
That's Right: Loads of Free Shit
What's Going On?
Original "Wog Boy" John Barresi is starring in an all new comedy about love, class and
spaghetti. What's Goin'On?\s about Luigi, a good Italian boy, Karen, a "skip" girl from the
right side of town, and, of course, Luigi's mum (and extended family of about thirty). John
Barresi has persona//y given students of Monash a 10% discount on all tickets. That
means you (yes you!) can purchase a ticket for the measly price of $22.50. All you have
to do is present your student card, tell the lovely people on the door that you read about
the show in Lot's Wife and quote the page number, and you're in.
Circus Oz
Circus Oz is turning twenty! So they're flipping, vaulting and BMXing their way into a
fantastic new show celebrating their tight-rope walking, fire breathing, tattooed history.
Circus Oz will launch their Melbourne season on an unsuspecting public, and they've
invited Monash students to join the party. We are proud to give away four double passes
to their show on Friday, the 11th of September at 8pm in the Melbourne Town Hall. They
will be given to the first four people who come into the office and tell me (Chris, that is)
who Circus Oz's major sponsor is (hint: you wipe your bum with them and they start with
Gary Colman was charged with serious assault when approached by a fan for an autograph. Some find this amusing due to his short, small stature, but, the real comedy lies
in Colman's new found job as a security guard. Anyway,
just to prove that fans don't know when enough is enough,
Leonardo DiCaprio was in a car crash when a fan drove
into his new $80,000 car. Don't worry girls he's alright
despite his car not being fitted with an airbag - his ego
cushioned the blow!
More on the gossip front. Neve Cambell (Scream) and
Matthew Perry {Friends) are rumoured to be 'more than
just friends' (excuse the pun).
The Psycho remake is still in the works with Vmce Vaughn
(Swingers) as the lovely Norman Bates. Originally to be
made word for word and shot for shot from Hitchcock's
1960 film, it is now to be changed - the only question is
how? (AND WHY?!?)
As far as 'films in the works' go. On Any Given Sunday,
to be directed by Oliver Stone, and Bofinger's Big Thing,
to be directed by Frank Oz, seem to be pulling the most
big names. Stone's film will see Al Pacino, Cameron Diaz,
Dennis Quaid, Sean 'Puffy' Combs, Lauren Holly, Edward Bums and Tom Arnold all taking part. Bofinger's
Big Thing, which sounds more like a pomo than a comedy, stars Steve Martin (who also wrote the screenplay),
Eddie Murphy, Heather Graham and Christine Baranski.
Speaking of Eddie Murphy, The Nutty Professor II is on
its way, as is Adam Sandler's latest Guy Gets Kid. Other
films to watch out for are Ordirmry Decent Criminal,
starring Kevin Spacey and Milos Forman's Man on the
Moon, featuring Jim Carey and Danny DeVito. And, just
out of interest, Sean Penn is to direct Marlon Brando in
Autumn of the Patriarch.
Scream 2, U-Turn and The Postman, amongst others,
will be out on video soon.
Finally, in news just to hand, Denise Richards and Quentin
Tarantino have eloped to Luxembourg saying that they're
through with Hollywood. You know what, that isn't true
but I do wish those two talent-less swines would disappear.
Claire Hammond
•s').
Aliens make cool foster parents,
page 35
VI
E:\A/
CLOSER
tri^
Xf^
Closer is written by Patrick Marber,
whose background in Television
comedy is clearly evident in this play.
There are many humorous lines which
brought loud laughter from the
audience, but so much energy was put
into the verbal repartee between the
characters that any deeper message or
insight that the play hoped to put across
seemed to get lost.
••••
Arteinisia Gentileschi (Valentina
Cervi), for whom this film is named,
was a talented and beautiful painter in
the 17th century and according to her
father, she "paints as well as any man".
But due to her sex and the law of the
time, she was forbidden to study at the
Academy in Rome, or use male nudes
for figure painting. Intrigued by the
naked body and her own sexuality,
which at seventeen she is still
discovering, Artemisia sketches her
own body by candlelight and the naked
form of a young fisherman. When she
is discovered by the nuns at the convent
she attends and is accused of being
perverted, Artemisia is rescued by her
father, renowned painter Orazio
Gentileschi (Michel Serrault) and
allowed to help out in his studio.
Artemisia convinces her father's
colleague, Agostin Tassi (Miki
Manojlovic) to take her on as a pupil.
Not only does Ta.ssi initiate her into the
world of art, but also in the world of
sex and forbidden passion. When an
outraged Orazio discovers the affair, he
accu.ses Tassi of raping his daughter.
The documentation of the rape of
Artemisia is complex and little is
known for sure about the relationship
between her and Tassi. Most criticism
of this film comes from art historians
who believe that the story is
romanticised and that she was actually
raped. But whatever your belief about
the story, Artemisia is still a beautifully
composed and photographed piece,
with strong acting from the leads. 1
would recommend Artemisia to anyone
who loves art, or beautiful French films.
Georgia Tafl
page 36
The play is about a group of people
whose lives are all intersected by a
series of random chances, and the one
that brings all the characters finally
together in a tangled web of sexual
relations is through a cybersex session
on the internet. This touch of internet
culture and the continued and exorbitant
PETER
ANDRE
TIME
•••
Okay, from the outset we could make
lots of jokes about Peter Andre and his
funny little tummy muscles, not to
mention the "funky junky" and other
use of expletives and sexual
references is supposed to give
the play soine sort of
distinctly late 90s flavour, but
I felt that it could really have
happened in any time or
place.
There are four characters in
the play, two men who both
fall for each of the two
women at different times, and
two very different women
contrasting in both their age and nature.
The younger of the two women appears
to be tough and defiant, yet underneath
she is vulnerable and desires to be
loved. The older, by contrast, represents
something altogether more complex.
The relationships are all problematic as
the characters swing between each
other trying to decide what it is they
actually need and want. The
sentimentality of some of the lines
stands out so markedly because so
much of the dialogue is gritty and
clever. I couldn't help wondering if
some of the brilliance might have been
lost because of a cast who did not
always manage to deliver the lines with
the comic timing that they deserved.
The storyline was not quite substantial
enough but it was still an enjoyable
watch, as entertaining as your favourite
soap.
Nicola Dewe
such jovial outings, but I've tried to go
into this one with an open mind. Let us
begin by looking at the best song on the
album, "All Night, All Right" featuring
Coolio. Its got a very funky beat and I
can't help but tap my foot. Damn
Coolio's a funny bastard though.
Unfortunately the rest of this album is
just filling in a rather dull sandwich, the
album is singing about girls running
away and girls coming back, and girls
doing funny things in the middle. I can't
help but feel that at least half his record
sales are based on the way he looks
rather than the way he sings, because,
let's be honest, he struggles a bit. He's
not really a free-stylcr in the pool of
talent, he's more a doggy-paddle in the
wading pond. I haven't heard anyone try
to get more wavering notes into a song
since Michael Jackson.
Nathanael Oliver
RANI
THE
All in all. The
Infinite Blue is
enjoyable, but not
so enjoyable that
you're prepared to
run through the
streets with a sock
over your head
(not that you
would anyway, but
nevermind). It just
lacks that extra
edge of passion
that would take it
from a good
INFINITE
BLUE
•••
Being Kamahl's daughter must be
tough. Apart from the lifetime supply
of Dilmah tea, or even the family
sessions around the piano, there was a
lot of expectation surrounding Rani's
debut album. The Infinite Blue. But her
natural talent for songwriting shines
through, as does her sweeler-than-sweet
voice, and one is left with an album of
contemporary R'n B/Soul that puts its
detractors to shame.
The first single, "Always On My Mind"
was something of a minor hit, it al.so
spawned a number of remixes (shame
the drum 'n bass one didn't make it onto
the album), and it is probably the best
thing about this release. Like barnacles
on a yacht, it grows on you until you
find yourself singing it in the middle of
lectures. The songs stylistically move
around, going from the dancey feel of
'Trust in Me" to the slow soul of "I Have
a Dream". But they all seem to work
well together.
album to a great album. But gripes aside,
it's still quite fun.
Andrew James
Always d r y clean regularly. W. Clinton.
To claim that this film is a
Trainspotting for Australia is to
grossly insult it. Head On is far
more self-destructive. The
story, which is based on
Christos Tsiolkas' 1995 novel,
revolves around Ari (Alex
Dimitriades), a sexually
confused nineteen year-old
who is trapped between his
Greek heritage and his
hedonistic world of sex and
drugs. The film documents
twenty-four hours in Ari's life,
during which he fights
endlessly with his family, has
vicious sex with multiple
In fact the whole film revolves around
Ari's seemingly endless quest to find
the ultimate thrill, and kill himself in
the process. Ari's lifestyle is a circular
one that remains ultimately
unfuiniling and only highlights the fact
that he is a confused young man who
is trying to escape his past and
heritage, has no foreseeable future,
and so must seek solace in an
increasingly turbulent present.
up for "Zoom", which should get some
attention in the next few months. Other
tracks to watch out for are the RZA's
song "The Chase", Mack 10 & Ice
Cube doing "Maniac in the Brainiac",
and "Freak Out", which samples a song
from the 70s that I'm sure you'll guess
from the title.
SOUNDTRACK
ARTISTS
••••
If you haven't heard of this album yet,
you probably will soon. Another
soundtrack from the team that brought
you Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction and
Romeo & Juliet, it brings togetlier some
of the finest rappers. Including songs
from Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, KRS-One,
the RZA, 'Ol Dirty Bastard, LL Cool
J, and Public Enemy, it certainly is not
lacking in the talent department. But
does this result in a well-rounded
collection of songs, or merely an
indeterminate mess?
Chris King
Ana Kokkinos' film is one that is
loaded with gritty sex, explicit drug
taking and family confrontations, but
despite this, the film lacks a certain
realism. Dimitriades becomes an
BULWDRTH
VARIOUS
almost one-sided character in his
anger, and the sex and drugs become
almost repetitious in their "shocking"
nature. But it is well directed and
includes some great performances,
particularly Paul Capsis as Ari's crossdressing friend, and at least it shows
that Australia can make films that
aren't "kitsch comedy".
Altogether a great album, and one that
anyone even slightly into hip-hop
should get immediately. While the
styles tend to jump around somewhat,
each song seems more enjoyable than
the last. Avoid at your peril.
Andrew James
The first single, "Ghetto Supastar", was
a Top 10 hit. Featuring Pras Michel
(the third, unknown Fugee), and 'Ol
Dirty Bastard of the Wu-Tang Clan,
it proved that 'cool' is in the eye of the
beholder - you can take a song like
"Islands in the Stream" and make it fun
again. Dre and LL Cool J then team
Embrya is in many ways a similar
album, keeping one foot firmly planted
in the late 70s, but being more
adventurous than its predecessor, with
the singer's Latin and dub influences
coming more strongly to the fore. This
combination of experimentation and
respect for tradition makes for an album
that pushes the boundaries of
contemporary soul without losing its
footing.
Like Urban Hang Suite, Embrya is a
cohesive overall set, and nothing really
jumps out and screams "single" at you.
There are standouts, however, such as
the funky opener, "Everwanting", and
the closing
MAXWELL
EMBRYA
Maxwell is the Marvin Gaye of the
90s, a saviour of the spirit of classic
soul music when real soul has been a
rare commodity. His 1995 debut,
Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite, was
somewhat derivative but oozed too
much style and sensuality to ignore.
The more I see of men, the more I like doqs.
"Eachhoureachsecondeachminuleeachday:
Of My Life", which, despite the
unwieldy title and chorus, is everything
Prince should be in the 90s.
Throughout, Maxwell's beautiful
falsetto glides over the sultry late-night
grooves filled with wah-wah guitar, lush
strings and sub.sonic bass. No candlelit seduction mission should be
complete without Embrya, the soul
album of the year.
Chris Mitchell
page 37
W h e n
successful
bands try doing
side-projects,
most of the time
the results end
up being either
a
disappointment
for the fans, or
just a complete
waste of time
for the artists.
••••
Bringing together a group of talented
actors and well-known comedians was
a brilliant idea from director Roger
Hodgman, because what he produced
was anything but a typical
Shakespearean play. With a starstudded cast, including: Josephine
Byrnes, Alison Whyte, Greg Fleet,
Bruce Spence, Kim Gyngell and Shane
Bourne, Hodgman transformed
Shakespeare into a 1990s urban
comedy.
KVETCH
&
ACAPULCD
STUDENT
THEATRE
bd^
An enticing evening will undoubtedly
be Kvetch & Acapulco - A Night With
Steven Berkoff. This production takes
a look at two of Steven Berkoff's
original works being performed by an
extremely talented group of 3rd year
Performing Arts .students. The impetus
for the evening came from David
Himmelfarb, also a 3rd year
Perfonning Arts student, who has been
a fan of Berkoff's particular style of
humour and performance for some
time. Berkoff was born and bred in
Melbourne but has become a well
page 38
Twelfth Night is a tale of love,
confusion and misfortune, which has
been adapted for the Melbourne
performance, to be set in St. Kilda. The
play opens with a brilliant set that
depicts the better known features of St.
Kilda. Thus, the play begins like any
other revamped Shakespearean
production, but evolves into an
hilarious twisted tale, with a couple of
surprises and lines that William didn't
write into the script.
The habits of the casted comedians
shine through, as lines are added and
mistakes are humorously capitalised
on. One scene sees Greg Fleet, the
Jester, dress up as a clergyman to
deliver a message to Spence.
Throughout his long monologue,
recognised playwright, theatre director
and stage and filin actor world-wide.
Kvetch is the study of the little demons
inside you that keep rearing their heads.
Using vivid characterisations and biting
humour, Kvetch is largely based on
Berkoff's personal family experiences
of growing up in a Jewish household
in Melbourne. David first saw Berkoff
in 1992 at the Adelaide Festival and
was so impressed by the concentration
and intensity of his performance in
Oscar Wilde's Salome that he has
followed his performances since.
Acupulco is based on Berkoff's
observations of the extras on set while
he was on location filming Rambo.
Typical of Berkoff's insightful humour,
it follows conversations between six of
the film extras justifying the
importance of their role in the film.
groove of "Hunk O' Man" and the
almost jungle "The Plot Thins", to the
fast and frantic guitar pop of "Hello!",
this is an album that really showcases
the songwriting talents of both Janet
and Quan.
The tlrst single from the album the
unbelievably catchy "Don't You Know
\yho I Am?", doesn't really set the
image for the whole album. It's like
Happyland took a whole heap of
musical genres, threw them in the air,
and built a song around what landed
face up. From the funky electronic
Fleety had, over the performances,
obviously decided that one of the
scripted lines was just not funny, and it
did not gain the desired audience
response. So one night during this
scene, Fleety piped up (following the
line), "I didn't write it".
If you're not a fan of Shakespeare, I
think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
And if you are a die hard Shakespeare
fan, and you're worried that they'll ruin
it - I honestly don't think you'll be
disappointed, they really do it justice.
While sounding more like
Regurgitator's Unil album than
anything that Spiderbait has recently
recorded, it's nevertheless an album
that takes the best from both worlds
and combines them into one near
perfect record that could serve as an
indication of better things to come
from either band.
Anthony Brasher
DRUGSTORE
WHITE
MAGIIS
FDRLDVERS
You know how people say that some
albums have something for pretty
much everyone? Well I'm not going
to say that. However, I am going to say
that this album is, apart from two
tracks, fabulous. Essentially an album
of love songs featuring the undeniably
sexy voice of Isabel Monteiro, it has a
mixture of slow ballads and catchy
numbers, which will appeal to most.
Absolutely brilliant!
Asha Holmes
Kvetch & Acapulco dates: Sep 2-5,
8pm, $9/$7 cone, Fri Sep 4th Matinee
2pm (half price) Drama Theatre Performing Arts Complex, Monash
Clayton Bookings 9905 n i l
Betty Manner
The opening song, "Say Hello", draws
you into the album with an upbeat,
infectious tune, contrast almost
perfectly with the anguish prevalent in
other tracks. Unfortunately, almost
every album has at least one song that
you always skip, and for drugstore it
is "Never Come Down". Luckily it is
followed by "Song for Pessoa" I wish
this was my name so I that I could
imagine this haughtingly beautiful
strain was being sung especially for
me.
The presence of Thorn Yorke on "El
President" is an awesome bonus. His
divine voice blends perfectly with
Isabel's to create a heavenly and
seductive sound, which explains its
radio success. The carnival music and
sudden explosions of sound of "The
Funeral" make it a spectacular closing
song - or so I thought until I heard the
bonus track. Be sure to wait around for
it, it's worth it.
Catherine Malcolm
Cheeseburgers save lives.
BaiviETHiNG
ABOUT
MARY
Cue Cyndi Lauper, Rubies cube t-shirts
-and camp excess, cause yep, it's 1985
all over again, and it's not the Wedding
Singer. Ted (Ben Stiller), your average
Joe Schmuck high school nerd, seems
big on the braces, short on a life, until
high school babe Mary (Cameron
Diaz), unexpectedly asks him to the
high-school prom. Whilst the 80's
backdrop is short lived, and a long-term
relationship with Mary goes begging,
the film really begins in 1998 where we
find an 'older' Ted, still pining over
Mary. This is followed by his decision
to uack Mary down, employing the help
of the decidedly seedy Pat (Matt
Dillon). Replete with a skinny pornomoustache, small gut, and enough
testosterone to fuel a small dog on heat,
the employed Pat sets about tracking
Mary down. Instead, Pat finds the
desirable Mary and selfishly preys on
her. Pat tells Ted that she is ugly and
not worth it, so the majority of the story
revolves around Ted's inevitable
confrontation with the two.
Ben Stiller draws on a more likeable
reprise of his Reality Bites character but this time, he puts the 'comic' into
the stilted earnestness. His accident
prone Ted is savagely attacked by a cute
little dog on speed, hooked by a fishing
rod, and attacked several times by
Mary's retarded brother. And when the
humour isn't slapstick, it instead comes
from Ted's appendage. At times the
most puerile seems to become pointedly
penile; seemingly innocent scenarios
are inverted, becoming hilariously
crass, lewd and vulgar. High points are
high, low points are few and if at all,
only come from its comic unevenness
- but then again what the fuck is 'comic
unevenness'? Who cares? I laughed a lot.
Darby Hudson
•••
When Effigy burst onto the Australian
music scene with their debut album,
their mix of Gothic imagery, catchy pop
tunes and the distinctively androgynous
voice of Peter Hardman were a
welcome respite against the grunge-bynumbcrs bands. And with Effigy's
second album Century Collapsing,
there hasn't been much of a change in
style, just improvement and
refinement.
It's with tracks like the first single
"Suspicion Bells" and mellow piano
driven melodies of "Your Voice" that
you notice the changes in the band's
songwriting. Gone is the teen angst of
their debut, replaced with something
that still contains plenty of angst, but
with traces of maturity shining tlirough.
While one of the strong points of the
album is the improved songwriting
skills of Peter Hardman, it is also his
voice and pretentious lyric style that lets
the album down in places. There never
seems to be enough variation in
Hardman's singing style to keep the
listener enthralled for the length of the
record, and some of his lyrics make you
wish he'd get his head out of his arse at
times.
But in the end. Century Collapsing is a
fine follow up album that shows Effigy
to have the potential for even bigger and
better things in the years to come.
Anthony Brasher
Fini Scad "It's Not Real" (Mushroom)
No it's not real, and it's not very good either. Fini Scad has a magnificent way of
consU^cting dirge pop for dickheads, and since this style appeals to the lowest form
of 'alternative' listener, the underage crowd who tunc into Triple J should love it.
Call us all back when you've written something far more interesting and intelligent
than the contents listing off a packet of chips.
Imogen Heap "Come Here Boy" (Festival)
This is something that you put on in the middle of the night when it seems that no
matter how hard you try to show that special someone that you care, and tliat you're
the one who warits to be witli them, they ignore all your advances and make you feel
like a fool for even trying in the first place. A song to rock yourself slowly to sleep.
Natalie Imbruglia "Wishing I Was There" (BMG)
If you want an example of a perfectly crafted, meticulously constructed and
impeccably marketed pop star look no further than Natalie Imbruglia. "Wishing I
Was There" is so squeaky clean, it could have been the B-side to a Hanson album.
Tliis song, and the entire "I'm so beautiful, but I can be hurt too" imagery that
surrounds Natalie, makes taking a bullet in the head a viable option to living in a
world diat calls this original music.
,
Symposium "Bury You" (Infectious)
'
Two singers who have wrecked perfectly good tunes: that guy from Jcbediah, and
now the lead singer of Symposium. A band with great gritty punkish tunes and some
dickhead who seems to think he's in some New Romantic group, falsettoing over the
top of everylliing. They should do what Jebediah should have done, fire his crappy
ass and get someone who can actually sing.
Roni Size Reprazent "Watching Windows" (Mercury)
After the Chemical Brothers brought break beat music to the masses, the genius of
Roni Size is now starting to do the same with drum and bass (jungle). While not
completely sanitising the genre so that we'll be hearing jungle in elevators, many of
the single mixes take the song to places where almost everyone can groove to the
tune, but best on the single is "Vocal Remix". Not a tfack to be missing this winter.
Heather Nova "London Rain" (Liberation)
Brought back from the brink of obscurity by the Lilith Fair festival and some real die
hard fans, "London Rain" is a damn fine tune guaranteed not only to move your ass,
but one that you'll be humming long after the CD has stopped. And with a very
emotional cover of Nick Cave's "Ship Song" you could do worse than pick this
record up.
Rage Against The Machine "No Shelter" (Epic)
With the best song off the Godzilla soundtrack finally becoming a single, you don't
need to skip through Silverchair lo get to it any more. RATM haven't lost any of
their anger or power and "No Shelter" is one of their best uracks to date. Only problem,
it might only be on 7" vinyl and you need an adaptor to play it on an ordinary
turntable, but it's definitely worth it. Happy hunting!
Single of the Edition
Therapy? "Lonely, Cryin', Only" (Polydor)
This song is so full of energy you'd think a horny hormonal teenager came up with
tfie tune, even though the lyrics aren't the most uplifting things you've heard, but
this is one of Thcrapy?'s many strengths. With a cover of a DJ Shadow song and a
re-working of two of their earlier songs, this is a single that would make bands like
Fini Scad consider breaking up.
Anthony "Beefcake"Brasher
Don't caW me stupid.
page 39
wsa
Some time around the end of last year, you might
recall the economies of South-East Asia and East
Asia hitting a brick wall at high speed, and the subsequent devaluation of their local currencies such
as the Malaysian Ringgit, Korean Won, and most
spectacularly of all, the Indonesian Rupiah. The
crisis has affected all levels of society in the Asian
economies, from the autoworkers in Korea to the
once-mighty President Suharto of Indonesia.
Australia has been fairly lucky. Wc have yet to feel the
full effects of the crisis, apart from an adjustment in the
value of the dollar. But you can be sure there is at least
one group of people living in Australia for whom the
Financial Crisis is all too real. International Students at
Monash (and other Australian universities) are facing
the prospect of not being able to pay their fees, which
could result in their enrolment being invalidated by the
University.
How A World Cr
It's only in the last couple of months that the extent of
the problem within Monash has become apparent. It
seems that students from the affected countries managed
to make it through first semester, but they are now finding it more difficult to come up with the funds for second
semester. In the last couple of weeks, Fees, Monash International, and MUISS have started dealing with a lot
more requests for help from International Students.
WHAT CAN INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS DO?
There are a number of options available to International
Students who are having difficulty paying their fees. The
most important thing to do is to talk to someone about
the problem straight away. The worst thing you can do is
nothing. Some students are so stressed by their
predicament that they do nothing, talk to no-one, and
OVERSEAS STUDENTS!
EXCESS LUGGAGE?
STAR WORLDWIDE
MOVERS
* Cheapest Rates.
* Free pick-up.
* Items weighed at your door.
* First Class Service.
International & Australia wide delivery.
FREECALL 1800 882288
10% discount for all students
Ye9, je» it i«|
unfortunately, will probably end up having their
enrolment invalidated.
There are a few places you can go for help and advice.
Monash International is in the Admin Building, and you
could also talk to someone in Fees. Most of the Faculties have International Student Advisors, to help you.
And, you can come into the MUISS office on the first
floor of the Union and talk to the staff there, Adrian and
Jocelyn. All of these people will find a way to help you.
In regard to actually coming up with the money for fees,
there are a couple of things you can do. You can defer
payment (as long as you apply for a deferment before
the fees are due), you can make a split payment, you
could take a leave of absence and go home for a semester
or two and try and wail out the crisis, or find some work
(not easily done, it must be said). There is also the
possibility of negotiating a plan for payment in
instalments, which reduces the pressure a bit. To find
out more, call MUISS (9905 4143) or Monash
International (9905 1174).
If you are feeling depressed and worried, you can talk
to the people listed above, the International Student Advisors in your Faculty, or you can go to the Counselling
Service, which is free and confidential (9905 3156). As
a student, you have a lot of avenues for getting advice
and help, so use them!
WHAT CXJES IT ALL MEAN FOR LOCAL STUDENTS?
Some students are now trying to find part-time work to
pay their living expenses, which their parents can no
longer afford. I have even met students who are hoping
that they can pay for both their living expenses and their
fees by working part-time. And this is despite the restriction of a maximum twenty hours of \york a week
lor university.
All students at Monash have classes with International
Students. Monash is Australia's International University.
You need to realise that your classmates might have
debts of around $8000 hanging over them, with just a
couple of weeks to pay. If your classmates are
Indonesian, they might be facing a very uncertain future
when they go home. These people are your classmates
and your friends, and they're going through a very
difficult time right now, so you need to be sensitive to
their problem.
The other thing that local students need to think about
is how this could affect the way the University deals
with its full-fee paying students who have trouble paying their fees.
WHAT IS THE UNivERsrrv DOING?
The University is now starting to get an idea of the scale
of the problem. Staff and students with an interest in the
problem, from all campuses, have been discussing the
best ways to help International Students. As mentioned
above. Fees has allowed students to defer and split up
their payments, easing the pressure to a certain degree.
Recognising the severity of the problem, a Special Fee
Payment Project Officer has been appointed by the
University. He will deal with ail students who are having difficulties paying their fees.
FINANCIAL CRLSIS FOKUM TWO
In an effort to help International Students, MUISS is
organising a sequel to the Financial Crisis Forum held
in first semester The new Forum will be held in the
Banquet Room in the Union Building, on Wednesday
September 2"''. We have invited guests from Monash
International, Fees, and other interested parties to answer questions from students concerning their situation.
This represents a great chance for you to get information direct from the people who know. As an encouragement to come along and raise issues, there will be a
free lunch.
If you want more information, look for our posters, listen to "International Lounge" on 3MU 95.7 FM
(Thursday's IO-12am), or come into the MUISS Office
and talk to the staff and committee.
by Adrian Purby
msa
Notice of Elections
M o n a s h S t u d e n t Association (Clayton) Incorporated
ANNUAL ELECTIONS
MONDAY 1 4 - FRIDAY 18 SEPTEMBER 1 9 9 8
Copies of the regulations governing the election are available from the
MSA office,
Polling will be held on: Monday 14 - Friday 18 September 1998
The main polling place will be open in:
Union Building
Monday
14 September 10am to 4pm
Tuesday
15 September 10am to 8pm
Wednesday 16 September 10am to 4pm
Thursday
17 September 10am to 8pm
Friday
18 September 10am to 4pm
Remote polling places will be open in:
Menzies Building and Hargrave Library
Tuesday
15 September 11 am to 2pm
Thursday
17 September Ham to 2pm
Ken Strahan
Returning Officer
Nominations
Nominations are now open for:
Position name
President
Education Vice President
General Secretary
Women's Officer
Publicity Officer
Welfare Officer
Generally Elected Representative
Women's Affairs Collective
Activities Chairperson
Education Affairs Committee
Welfare Committee
Media Administrative Committee
Lot's Wife Editor
Publicity Committee
NUS Delegates
Biomedical Library Advisory Committee
Bookshop Board
Hargrave Library Committee
Law Library Users Committee
Main Library Users Committee
Religious Centre Advisory Committee
Sports & Recreation Association Executive Committee
Niunber
1 position
1 position
1 position
1 position
1 position
1 position
6 positions
6 positions
1 position
15 positions
6 positions
2 positions
1 position
6 positions
6 positions
1 position
2 positions
1 position
1 position
1 position
1 position *
1 position
Honorariam
20305
13537
13537
13427
13384
39650
Nomination forms are available at the MSA office, or by teleph oning or writing to MSA.
Nominations close at 5pm Friday"28 August 1998.
W m m- I ^
MUTV: UP AND
BITING..
m„-w.'
CYCLING THROUGH THE WAR20NE
The Monash Student Association is co-ordinating a cam- bikelanes. The bikelanes would be marked to include
paign for the installation of bicycle lanes on North Rd, provision for bus parking at stops along the route.
between Huntingdale Station and Monash University.
MSA Transport will be lobbying the University,
North Rd carries very heavy traffic at peak times which VicRoads, the City of Monash Bicycle Victoria and locreates a less than inviting environment for cyclists. This cal MPs to support this work which would need to be
is exacerbated by steep gutters and narrow lanes in cer- externally funded at a cost of around $750,OOO.This is
NORTH RD. HUNTINGDALE STATION TO MONASH UNIVERSITY
If you would like to be the next person who interviews a
band after a Union Night at Monash, then MUTVision
is for you. Or, if you are interested in student TV and
you want to be trained in how to use cameras and editing suites, then this is for you. Or perhaps you would
like to create your own mini-docs and other shows for
the Uni TV system? MUTVision is for you.
MUTV will be up and running in the weeks to come,
and you are invited to be a part of this exciting aspect of
student media. Programs will be shown on the televisions in the downstairs Unic.i, and we are looking to put
more televisions up in the very near future.
All you need to do is get in contactwith us at the Student
Association, and we will allot you a training session for
the camera and the editing suite. In order to cover costs,
there is a four dollar fee per hour long session. Following
this, you will be able to use the equipment free of charge
in order to create material for MUTV. So come along,
get involved, learn new skills and enjoy yourself.
Contact; Sam Harrison, 9905 1122
sharlO@studeiit.monash.edu.au
Or simply come up and see us at the MSA.
Sam Harrison
Publicity Officer.
tain places along the road. There have been thirteen reported accidents involving bikes and cars on this 2.5
km stretch in the past four years. MSA Transport has
received numerous requests from students and staff keen
to support a campaign for bicycle lanes on this stretch
of North Rd.
We are calling for works to pare back the central median of North Rd to widen both carriageways by 0.5m.
Traffic lanes would then be relocated and adjusted in
width, making room for regulalion-widlh 1.5m
a longterm campaign - but with the support of Monash
students and staff- the goal of making North Rd more
bicycle-friendly can be achieved.
If you are interested in supporting this campaign for
bikelanes on North Rd by signing petitions, writing letters, or in other ways, please make contact with us on
X 54134.
Jim Black & Simon Hall
RMIT
UNIVERSITY
Bachelor Degree in Chinese Medicine
Applications are invited from persons who have completed a degree in medicine, either in Australia or overseas, for places in a 2 year full-time funded Bachelor of Applied Science in Chinese Medicine, Applicants vtflth a science
degree or with major including anatomy, physiology or pathology are also eligible. The program includes both Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture, The second year of the program offers students a unique opportunity
to undertake a 6 month clinicaj internship In China under the supervision of qualified and respected Chinese Medicine practitioners at China's renowned Banjong University of Chinese Medicine.
Master of Applied Science in Acupuncture
Places are available for a fee paying course which qualifies overseas and local medical graduates or other primary healthcare practitioners to practice acupuncture.
The three year, part-time course consists of four residential blocks per annum and self-directed learning during the first two years, and a research project during the third. A strong neurophysiologkal basis for acupuncture is
studied as well as practical application of traditional and modem concepts, techniques and principles and diagnosis of Chinese Medicine.
For further information, a fee schedule and an application form contact: Or Charlie Xue, Head. The Chinese Medicine Unit, RMIT Univenity, Bundoora West campus, on Tel: (-^61 3) 99257746, Fax: (+613) 9467 5829, email: cxue«>rmit.eduju
www.rTnit.edu.au
rfff furuRf JT/urf
HERE
footyi^Qpiing
For up to date results in the Footy Tipping Comp. Check out the results sheet on the outside of the Lot's Office.
A reminder to all fippers, as the Home and Away Season is now drawing to a
close the announcement of the winner of the Grand Prize is coming soon. The
kind folk at United Distillers have given us, to give you, a HUGE Bundaberg esky,
replete with Bundaberg and Cola. So drink up and enjoy the strong yet mellow
because now we're getting to the business end of the season.
Tfie Winners for the Following Rounds Were:
Round 15
.
Paul Murphy (24)
•
Geoff Ennis (24)
•
Tim Cross (24)
Bessie Abbott
Still a Champion
Rounds 16, 17 and 19
JACKPOT
Round 18
•
Jamie Scuglia (72) '
Shits€ared of
Shits€are€l
Con Anyone Beat Shitscared?
This is the story of on incredible group of men and
women, who don't seem to be able to put a foot
wrong when it comes to Green Week. This is the story
of Team Shitscared.
From a showing in their inaugural year in 1995 which
sow them finish with no prizes at all. Team Shitscared
has gone on to become three time winners of both
the teams competition and the Scavenger Hunt. Their
success has been compounded by the fact that they
have not been able to retain a captain since their
first victory in 1996.
Some people believe that their success is due to the
fact that their previous captains have gone on to
become the Activities chairpeople. However, most
people know that this is not the cose. Like any
premiership team, they do not have any stand-out
players, just on even spread across the field which
allows for consistent flow of beer. As a result of this,
the only events that they managed to win for the week
were team events, the Tug-o-war and VB Hunt, but
they managed to place in other events throughout
the week, and these points were the ones that counted.
Bessie - Green week Legend - With some Pisshead
To nobody's real surprise, this year's Green Week
saw Bessie Abbott, of Team 2 , win her third successive
Greenlow M e d a l , for being the best and fairest
drinker in the Green Week Drinking League. This
occurred, despite a mystery illness that continued to
bug her throughout the season.
Her best on ground performances in the Tricycle
Races, Regaining and Beerlympics were amazing,
with no other female players being anywhere near
her, but her illness took its full effect in the Centurion,
one of her best events, where she was the first
competitor eliminated, as new rules restricted her
from reconsuming her own vomit more than once.
This is the sign of a true champion. I spoke to her on
numerous occasions throughout the week, asking her
how she felt about her performances, a n d she was
as modest as ever. The former PLC School Captain
told me how ill she was feeling on most occasions
Flying butt& on.
(the bloody whinger), but this just proved how good
a player she is. She just kept on going no matter
what happened to her.
What is her secret? This is very simple. Unlike most
players, experience has taught Bessie to not consume
some of the mountains of free beer that Activities
give away to spectators and players throughout the
week. She maintains that this aids her to consume
larger amounts of beer at faster speeds during
competition. Perhaps some of the other competitors
should heed her advice.
With the Scavenger Hunt not being counted as part
of the Teams Competition for the first time, and
therefore not counting for premiership points, it
became an even more important event. This is Team
Shitscored's forte. By being on the inside, you realise
the time and money that they put into preparing for
the event for weeks before.
Bessie Abbott is the greatest player of all time.
Mobile phones, mini buses running team members
back and forth, cars out on patrol throughout the
night, supermarket raids at 3.00am, and their team,
a team perhaps more desperate than any other to
win, all combine to give this team the success that it
has had in the past three seasons.
O h yeah, by the way, Crackers IM.U.A.) won his first
Greenlow, tying with Bessie on shitloads more votes
than anyone else.
Who can touch them? To that question nobody knows
the answer, but if anyone is going to, we'll have to
wait another year to find out.
Richard Johnson
Richard Johnson
page 43
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Third Time Lucky for 1998 Band Comp
Champs Purple Monkey Trance!
Well, the wait is over! This year's National Campus Band Competition's Clayton
heats are over. Held over three nights, the heats consisted of twenty-two different
bands. The standard of musicianship was excellent and the huge range of styles
played, made for three interesting nights. Past entrants have included Spiderbait,
The Mavis' and Front End Loader to name but a few. It is not inconceivable to
imagine some of the bands from this year's competition being household names in
the near future.
We were lucky enough to have some great judges. The wonderful, sexy music subeditors of this reputable publication shared the job between them. Mark Barry of
Barry Sound was kind enough to judge for us, as well as control the mixing desk.
Last but not least, Julian Davis, the drummer of last years' winning band Mobius,
agreed to help us out. The judging included five different categories: Originality,
Musicianship, Stage Presentation, Audience Response and Recording Viability.
Enough of the suspense! The winners of this year's heats are all veterans. On
Tuesday night the distinctive and original sound of Carbon secured them third
place. Mighty Fine Disguise placed second, while in first place for the second
year in a row, was Spacemaker.
Heat number 2 also produced some great acts. In a night full of charismatic vocalists Insight, came third while 9" Left were second. The winning band placed second in one of the heats last year, but this year there was no mistaking that Hypemo
Way deserved first place.
The last night of the competition followed on with the same high standards. Fallen,
the third placed act, should they come back next year, could very well end up as
winners. Second place went to an excellent band called The Beings and it is my
suggestion that you all look out for this band in the future. Go and see them if you
can. The winner was Purple Monkey IVance (Steve's Band).
Spacemaker, Hyperno Way and Purple Monkey Tfance are now into the Regional
Finals which are taking place at the Armadale Hotel on Sunday SO* August 12pm
onwards. It will be a great day of entertainment, so everyone, come and support your
fellow students!
Jo Marshall
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