NEB>HeLP FAST?
Transcription
NEB>HeLP FAST?
BLONDIE - ---- MOTHER GOOSE & GRIMM by Mike Peters NEB>HeLP FAST? DIAt..I-SOO-CATASTROPHE ' ...c",wHeRi! f., of4tTRst<S rrfS"lf.s CW"THe lH6 c "2," BU'l'l1'N1I600t). SOOR" AlO£CJ THe A' WHeREs 1H6 MOTHER GOOSE •• GRIMM by A i: Mike Peters IiOR1H~ MA~FLY,WHICH' ONLY LIVE'S Z HOURS •• SOMETlM~S LIFS RS'AL.LY IS JUST A BOWL. OF CHERFfIES. FOR BETTER OR~FO~R::-:::W=O=RS::E;-;b-y-:;L;-J-·n-n-;.J~oh;--n-s-;-to-n----------------"-- ._ g""HN LU:;tl1 AND THE.V5f\Y , me: A.VERH.:£. AAf.RJCJ..N ~ ~ 50 HOW CAt-l 1 6£ COOS! DE:RED ~RWElc,HT IF I~ A.VERNt£.~ IS OV£RWE.I&HT •.• .. w Z ; ]; o CALVIN AND HOBBES "O~ \X) ~ow ,~ I '(OOR Al<E GRg.T? By~IIIWder80n PEOPlE. J\JST Ot1t'T KNO'f{ ~ GWt-i lOEA 'fl~~ 1\\~ I"EAA. ONE. by Art Sansom 'YaM:..us, RJT O~IT! 11YOJ(Z R~(£R 1 t J) ! ; 1; ~ o THE BORN LOSER "'I t>lD '(OJ OOY mE. FaX> Fa< fl\Y ~ r LOWER. f\U:: W by Art Sansom ~ ~ FU~N,( 1-\01,.,\ THE.MaE "ffiE:Y ~ 010LE5TE.Ra.., CN...f:)RJf5, L~ FEWE:.R Fi\T,l.E:D~T, .TN(E OJT CF ~ICXHJORJH ! DlEJ? ~ 1t'e< '" ~T,ll\E RA\5E:. mE.FRlc£! THE BORN LOSER ~ [ DICNI(,€.T WAAT I Wt\NTE\)F~"'Y BI~DAY ! v l.£T ME. GIVE:YOO A UTTL£ TI P: .•• [JUS, "ffiINKABOJT N.L 1l.l£iJ.\\NtiI~ WK€.NE:V~[ ~T6ET~fJ£.~ THING by Art Sansom v ~ '( 1:DlDt(rocrTW>.TI I ~Dt{'1\r..1N{[! wmT... by Art Sansom ENO.,X,H tw'OOCY10 BUY i\ LA.fJ\BO~HIl\\' !. YOU'~ NOT a.D €NQlX,K 10 DI(:lVE:. .. W'1Y().1 EJ.RTI-\ WOOLDYOJ WAAT A LNr\BOR£;HIl\\\ . r {;X).1\" .•.lW-.T3 ~THaJMtX.H ft\CJ:4f..Y \ WAAT! [ MIS1DIofFO by Joe Martih--· ._ ... -- --- NON SEQUITUR W\O. Ua.'< DEfl-RL'< To by WIley ~~i oUR ~~~ ,",ER~~~ 1'0 &b ~EF~R~D 10 Mo. 'THE OteEA6.Ep," FOR, ~~No L0NG,ER 1Wo.N,M No! lb ~l<.G.Q::D, ~N ~iERN\I'<... - £-!Il/oolL'-n_.--,".~ -...c; _ a.-. NON SEQUITUR by Wiley MO~\;~, ~ EDn'°R ... 0\(._' IiooCoREE~Y: \00 (Ptt..tAA~~N"tG C1....Nt1f''r "'(dJR. fb'~T of "g..( I eu\ ,'p.,\ GPINc:. I ~- ~'O'" ~ "tb "'\Wo E'UBUc.'~ ~ ,..~tt\\oN ~, so 'f&.'\..l.. ~\; \tI c.o~~'=E. ~ ." j • NON SEQUITUR "to C.\r.c.vu.\\~~tM., WA-A-AY tlO'NN by Wiley THE BORN LOSER by An (~ LET ME. C:JJf:JS... l a , ~.nsom V'YOO'R£. PtANNINC, TO TN(£.,A.,~ CARl.. Y RE:TIRE.M£.NT? II ~ ~ z ! 1; o ------------------I HE BORN LOSER ~ f-\8..L.Q &.NK. Cf" LlTILWV~IU£?' D{l~ I~ U-f\DY~ T~ORNf\Fft£ ... by Art Sansom ~ YJ HO\-.!em \.Jf-\E~ r OFENED MY NGJ ,A.((()LNT: YOU TOLD ME r WOLU> Hf\VE. ~ r e£ OVER~WN "? a r H~VE:.,A.,QLE.::mOf\\ ... ~ ~ . (}{ECKI~0...~ , I I ~ g ! 1; o -- THE BORN LOSER by Art Sansom ~ ~ DlDYaJ~Y YOJ~ FlR5T ~E:S~ C~? IT W~ C¥.AY,WT IT 60T Unt£~ \. ... t\ AFTc:~:nl£Y ANI5HE:D R..f\YIN'OOR.~ EVERYO'E stro AADCL.f..PPED AND ll-l£N Tf\E.Y WENTII,nO EXTRA INN\ N6~ HAGAR THE HORRIBLE 6012l2Y ,0 WA~e You, H~Arz, E3UT THE:: GUY~I~ AND :L WeI2E::' WONPSrzl Nl.:7 IF YoU ~NE::'W"'He PL.Ll12,AL..OF OC-roPLlG '-' I ! By Chris Browne ~j8'&""""€ SHOE By Jeff MacNellY I 1lI1S YEAR 1lIOUGJ.IT WE'D NEED A FIRE PERMIT. BEETLE BAILEY By Man walKer I THE LAST TIME SENT YOU OUT FOR A PA6S YOU CAME BACI< TWO HOURS LATER HOW COME I HAVE TO 8LOCI<' ALL THE TIME~ BEETLE BAILEY TH/I-4I< A80UT IT, BEETLE! ALL YOUR CLOTHES ARE FReE ... YOUR HOU51NG IS FREE.. YOUR FOOrJ, FREE! MEDICAL CARE, WHAT FREE! DENTI6~ 1:'0 YOU FReE! EYERV- !!JAYTO THING FREE!f THAT~ II Ii ~ J j i l; ~ Q . fHE BORN L05EH ~ ~ It> UK£. TO 51G~ lP FOR your< F"'ll GOLF TOJ~T! 01, r [)()'.(i U K£ TO THlt{K.OF M.Y~ f\S Hf\VING f\ GOLF HmDlCAP. .. / - ROSE IS ROSE by Pat Brady \~I ~E£T~) /).1 E)(ACTV( ... ~ ------- -- By Brant Parker and Johnnv Hart 0'" ~nut by .Jeff MacN elfy TWIS IS ~ICANE SHOE TIE UGLIEST SEASON EVER. by Jeff MacNelly- I BET YOU'VE SEEN A LOT OF BIG CJ.lANGES OVER TJ.IE YEARS, UNCLE COSMO ••.• FUlTIOT by Bill Amena - \lIHO CAR£S? CMIS •• WIlD ~ PETER, IF 1 6tT AM UReE 1b I'lAY -DoaMAlHoN: FoR EXAMPLE, I J)oM'T WAHl 1b WASl£ '" LoT of PREoouS liME lPOICII'I6 FoR'1HE DISk! ~ ClIIlIISJD.. '1HR "lbU oNLY FbUR CDs ""''it To SORT lHRDU6tt", , '/ - DILBERT by ClUlTE " 'tHE A:llIftR Of 1ltES£ UR6ES:' l" ~ I I'CEEOIT RI6HT lHAT IMSTNn'! ~•.... I htrT lHlI'tk 'tlI1 / .,~ -' -- Scott Adams G HER.E·~ f'I\"'( TI1'\t 5HEE.T, F1LLED OUT IN INCP.Et-\t.NT~ Of FtFTU.N I"\!NUTE~. ) p..~ USUAL I I CODED THE US£.LE.~5HOO~ SPENT IN ~EEnNGS ~c:,"~ORlC.." !. THE. Tt~f. IN THE SHOWER WHtR.EA5 SPENT Oe,SIGNING C1Rc.Um foI\"{ " I"\INO I~ IN '"NON-WOR¥-." !. .i f 1 ~ ! j i 1 'i INTEJ\E5TINGL,,(, EVEN THE. 11f'1\( SPENO COf'l\PLAIN- 't INl; ~eOUT 1'\"(lAC.K OF PROOue.nVITY 15 CON&IOtRED ) ••WORlC..•• by Cherie. M, 5cnulz PEANUTS --~ > / EEKANDMEEK I J By Howle Schneider AkJD k.101'Hl#JG &VtR HAPPENS HIM 10 'f6\\\.E:l'(I~~ ON to\'( 'aK~ 10 MA\(£ I~ 1\\£ SNON, ,,~~~a CRAft A~! I S~~ A G~\S\\ A GIAA'\ UFO! I ~\E\') To ~U~ ~ A ~E. Ut\£A5tIl4\:i~" \T MNlE! IT "O'JERS) ~EA1)! A~t> Al\E~~ WtRt, \l\CN\~G 'ROO~ IN ~\E.~ ~ G\S)'t4\NG ~.' ~\)T' <C'JER, A ~v.. '"~'\ 1\\~~ W.O \.1Yt-t'P:\) SNkiG~\) ""~ ~ "''( ~~,.. AAo "O\S\EO l'\~ ft.B~~O! - - CALVIN AND HOBBES \f 1 Dc Trn sro~~E.O\JS iE~ '5~i~~£OO'5 I\c..~ f$ ~m,($ ~\\l. G\J::J:) OA'( ~ ~ \l~ill(J.\~'5tMP\S, -fI, it) BE L~\E~\ IN .}\}\)G\NG M ~ S~Th. ~\\.L ~'JE i I o.N ClAIM I ~ r --I - Rts'\ ~ l'lt.'tl- 1.'\1£. i\)R~EI> ltl\'t! Ck i\.\\,,> I lA~ '(~! ~ ~\\.L'" ~'(? n\~t'5 \'Rt.ii't tMN'(. \\9<£5 '(~ CHI\l'l~. 5USI£'SCO\#.\~G~\'5 w~t V4EU.. THE BOANLOSER· -V' WI-\OOPS! '\IL..~ •••••••••••. ...- ~ __ DUFFY by Bruce -Hammond Dilbert By Scott Adam~ u WE. NEED TO BOOST LET':> ELI/,,\INATE OUR SECURITY DEPARTMENT. R.ETURN-QN- A.5'5ETS RATIO. ~~r WOULD THE CUT B.PEN5E5 WHILE ALLOWING FOR A BR.I.SK f\EOUCTION IN A55ET5. \ ;, WHEN ! PLANNING ~ i ~c .. -: ... ! ~ .• • • o .. ~ A.RE YOu ~ TO TE.LL HI/"\ '<OU WERE JOKING~ ) AFTER 1 FURN151i' ) rw\'( DEN. SHOE by Jeff Mac Nelly CALVIN AND HOWiES I'M OOI1'lG by Bill Watterson r A C~'35 WORDP\JZllE.. ~~ '{OJ WRITE Re.l Sl-1AlL. NUM8ER TI-IREE ACReS'S \(NCW. i\4ESt. I PIOrs SA'fS ·BIRD: by Art Sansom THE BORN LOSER m TWO tAKE:~ ARE. $200 ... ". ~O'rJ MUC.H FOR A ~\AC.K. OF PM~CAK£")? rn(Y:£ rn~ARE. OONI $1 SO ...rool<. AR£ $100 .FUNKY WlNKERBEAN . PRICE") m£ S(~ by Tom Batiuk SAc;s 1J.lA14t>U NEED 10 AL.L.DW A HAL.F-HOUR OF COOKING 11ME FOR EACl-1 FOUND "(HE 1tJRKEQ WEIGHS! If YOO 5URE. TH~T~ CORRECT? HOW M~ OOE,51H/S -rURKE.Q WE/GH~ 8EA1"S lYlE, '1 PrfCHED '(HE WRAPPER. ! srop:nG6U~ ! AND 51AND S1ilJ.. THE BORN LOSER ~ aJT CJ41EF, I [X)lt ~\oUW ['\£e€m51~ ~!~ - THE BORN LOSER v "q [DIc:N'r&e.T r WAAT ~ ('£T ME. GIVe: YOU A UTTLE Tl P: WK€NE.V€~ r ~T&€\~~ WN-.lTE.D FOR. t<\Y THI~& r WmT ... BlRrnDAY! by Art S8naom v [Jlr.:lT ml ~ NK..AW,)'r N..L ll.l£1HINtib t DI~T(£TlW>.Tt~~'\wmr! CALVIN AND HOBBES LOO~ ! GEES£. FL'(ING '5C>U1H .,L 4.••. -L ,,~ By Bill WBtteraon ~1C£ '" 't9.R -oJ. R)~ ~E WNTER. 1H£( MIGR"'1E 1l\O\JSANOSOf MIlES AC~ 1H~ Ct":lNTINt.NT IN AN EXH"'IlSTI~, EiERN"'L SlR\JGGlE. \\) RJLFI LL NI\1\JRt.<S I'll B'C.T 1ll"'T GUS OLD REAL FA'5\. '100 ~1 ME stE. KE.E.I'ING A SUMMER "OM£. UN'l\£.\.DING DEMI\NO'S .' FOX TROT by Bill Amend .- t CAN FI60RE 1 CNI F'6uRE ouT MuLTI- out VARIABLE ~oFAHY CALCuLUS EGlUATloHS. 2O·0161T \ THE CUBE NUMBER. \ ~ t', LooK, HN'PEN1b MAN, lHl/IO(. 1 CAH·T "fULLHDclSE",S FleuR! f'INNY, OK!'! M, lbu OUT. \ ' , I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, 1 W16 SEA6TL.Y TO YOU .•. I'M NOT ~'f WI(E Tl-IAT... MY SINCEREST APoL.OCSIES! DUffY by Hruce Hammond IPONNO. ,,' ~"i ~ ·5HUI: WI'fl.I OUR NEW SYSTEM WE.·VE 8EE.N ABlE TO REDUCE OUR PAPERWORK 8Y t;,() PERCENT. ~~ I L~ !!15~" ~) I\~\~'· ~ by Mort Walker YEAH, WHAT'S,THE '...- ~08LeM ~. MISTER BOFFO by r JO'NEf7 SECAU5E THE ARMY Z WAS 6'CI( OF COMMUTING Joe Martin IN LA\lMAlJ'S~C; IT At-L. COME'> ~I'J 1t> Wl-b KlSSe:. ..• "1\04£ I!EST'" • ._- -- ...~ ... WIZARDOFID SLONDIE By Brant Parker and Johnny Hart by Young and Drake WAIT'L.1.~E SEES' '1ioE NEW NUMBeRS ON lollS Ri1.YCloleCK!! fOX 1RGT by Bill Amend 1 I I ~ •• waL, P£RCEtttH,;E· PEMBRooeC:S (;I'JIN(; HIMSElf A. HoWTo~ RAIS£~ ~,. HIS CASE••• I , ' flINKY WlNlCERBEANoi-rrorn .BatlUk . . .~DE.FINE'(HE FOu.oWIN&: AFrE~ '-10 MISTER BOFFO b~' .Jot' Martin ~~~~~ '1)~ALHJG:. W ('TH AN ACCa.JN j1:>.N'I tU2INt2> ~ SF'"Jl>lSON I OON'T~ $300,000 \ I'M ~T 5.'.Y1Ne, ._-- ._ .•.. ..... SLONDIE ------------------ ---_._-- AA£ 'DJ IU. RlG\o\i? ~T'S 1 TC)\.o1'\£ 1l:~\£R ro Q) 'ttl i\E 8A~. 'mE MAllER.? W"1 liRE 'f0lJ QU.\KG ? oo\C."-. 'foIAAT'S \I '1~ CM't AI» 1\I1r-lGS AAO COME 00, ~ IT\{ lESS 00l0l 11YJST~""Illl! MISS PEACH By Me" LaZllru. ;t:.RA, HUMAN ~L.A1jON$ •••~e- ,41(" DF- ~SAL.IN~ Wfr~ peop\...~,•• I~ OF,e"N A MA",-esc:OF' ...... fP ~~OTIA1iO":)~ ..... J'" NlR .~JtM\17/ IF 'leu "IVE.ME" A " 6aop 6R'ADe" T"'I~)'E:A~, nL. ~~ YOU IS t:.CIJTSr ANO 'THAT~ JU~T NoY "~~I1¥P oFr:e~. ~~ ci~ <'L I AA~ (..A H4 f\.A.l.r. l•.••••• 'A~J .1 t WN> q? GIIfIELD by Jim Davis I'M ~APpI,I TO REPORT TJ.4AT' I HAVE SUCCE€»SFULLY (SA/NEI' FIVE POLJNI75! oo . -------~-----~---_._ ... _---_ .. _- - --~- DUFfY by Broce Hammond I I 1/",. BLONDIE by Young ana uraKe weLL, FOR STARrERS, VOU AOOED IN TJ.IEIR FAX NUM9ER DILBERT by Scott Adams I AM DRAWN B'( TH~ T!-'IS 15 OF FABULOU.5 ALLURE DATED '<E.5iERDA '(. WEf'lL Tr\ AND A LIFE OF HE.DONISTIC Vo..\ue Priced lo1tery • DELIGI-\T T,cke"ts . ONE LUCK. ../ ~. \ Ii tl ~PLEA5f- ~\ by Scott Adams DILBERT : WHAT MAKE.S "VALUE" IltlESE A ) 7 Va.lue TI-\('t' 'R E HALF Tl-iE. NORMAL PRICE., Pr, c.ed AND Loiter'1 YEi THE CHANCE T, c.ket 5 WI~NING OF IS \ ='1 ••••• CUATO". ".DlCATL ! !. ~ ONLY ONE. IN TEN I'"\ILLlON LE.SS ==Ii~V-1J!J) f-\EY I Tf-\IS I5 FOR YESTER- DAY'S lOTTE.R y l ! ) AND YOUR f POINT IS .. .? ~ ~~~ .c. 1 TOOl(. A NAP AF=TER DINNER AND &l.ONDIE FORGOT" 1'0 WA',I.E ME UP ,---. TRY 001-\, AGAINBAD 7 Ii WAS Al.MOST" 3A.M. W\olEN 1 WOlo'E UP AND WENT" UPSiAllZS TO 8£D BLONDIE AND MARK MY WORDS,. '1.1GET 100% API'QOVAL,,:eVEN 11= WE HAVE 1'0 MISS GOING 1'0 LUNCfol./ -------~-------------I w,.,~\m GEl QoN:r UP. 10 G£T I 000'1 """'N\ t OR'CS'5£O. DeNt W"'~\ TO \'IIMf FoR THE 8\.15. rocK'I 'NAt-lTfc GC TO SCI-\OOl. I Dot-lT WA~T 'TO L\'5T'CN 1'0 TI-lE TEAC.\\£R. by Young and Drake I'M ~'Ne ~ VOTE.' ---[ \)O~1 'N~\ TO 'ST\.lO'l. Dot-\I WAN, p.~'( l'£':>TS. \)()NT WAN'I ~Wi r r HoME.'tlORK. " i J ~,~ I !l ( CDnPANY HEADQUARTERS WELL. THEY'R.E MATH DOES ANYBODY I-\EY, OfFER SMALL SUMS OF MONEY FOf\ GETIlNG IUD OF THE. TO A BEEN A LONG TIME GOOD. :ilNCE I/"\AD \ TIlE COSINE ) CREATIVITY 1 ! WE OONT NEED ANY OF YOUR "INTUITION" MunBO JUnBO. WE ,-:-- OAT A IT'S OF ANYThING. CONSULTANT NEED THIS COULD BE TO CAlCULATE PEOPLE WHO RETIRE.. ? E.t1PlOYEE5 IS WE COULD DECE.PTlVE.LY Ii/WE A ftAN CXlGI3ERT i BAD AT QUANTITATIVE ! !! i ! J Q THE. ONLY WAY TO MAKE OF COURSE) DEeIS IONS IS TO PULL NUMBERS OUT Of THE AIR. CALL THEM •ASSUMPTIONS;' AN 0 CALCULATE THE NET PRE.5ENT VALUE. YOU HAVE TO USE. TtiE RIGHT DISCOUNT RATE I OTtiERW ISf. IT'S MEANINGLESS. ~ ~ ( GO ~ AWAY. ~ .x c ~ .... 1.-11 DUfFY by BrnceHammond ------- -- --------- -~--- By Howle Schneld.r EEKANDMEEK LOSE \HOSE MPLE C1J THE <:oJ£~£IJT R\',IROll..,. ----- CAlYIN AND HOBBES ~I D"'D. I S\JPPoSE. '(()J RE WONt)£R\NG ~~ "'~iRE. DOING IN n-lE j - a:iJJ~10 ~l<6 USTEIJ...lf lrt'lJ'1¢ ~ START ~ RID CF ALL KALf CE ~SS --------_.~------------ by Bill Watterson ~I\OlD 5IX·~EJ..Q·Olt>S 'tllli: ~£D ON i\\EIR r"IJORITt: Qt.0I1ME5. W~TC.I-\ OK \1l.E5E SUO::E5'5\'JE OVERLr..'1S 1-l0r-l l\Itst FINOI!\G5 ~ESI " lor;;lC.r..l~ Cf ACnOl\\. MLlS. - by Lynn Johnston HELPINS HER ~ MflfH,S~? WfTft ..., 1HINk We'VE JVsrMASr~ 2AND2. WIZARDOF.u 51~f THIS COUP/"c. HA~ f5BBN MARRIBD FOp.. 75 YeAflS! -- WIZARDOFID 01"' ell 0 - ------- WIZARD OF 10 ANt> 'By Brant Parker and Johnny Hart ",rF O~WCK Ta.J - By Brant Parker and Johnny Han ,IN You orS(;'()UNT A~I/s fl~c:;eSSrON'" WE~~! UN~MP£.OYMENT •••&({rM~ ". ell &'011I " ••• BEETLE BAILEl By Mort Walker 1.E:T'5 5ee ... 10 A.M~6~UNCH ... " A.M., GOLF .•. , S P.M., e P.M., COCKTAIL5... PA~TY ... "'"' NO, I'M 50RF(y, L' EUTENANT, .I CAN'T FIT YOU IN I , THE:~E~JUST NOT ENOUGH TIME ItoJTHE rJAY
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