May 8, 2009 - Shoreline Community College

Transcription

May 8, 2009 - Shoreline Community College
Get a taste of the Ebbtide sex survey! Page 8 & 9
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide
• Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
The Ebbtide's
Sex Special
pgs 5 ‑12
Photo by Dennie Chong
Student elections go to revote
Amanuel Yihdego
Staff Writer
The Student Body Association (SBA) is planning a special election to determine final results
from the election of the SBA positions that took
place on April 15 and 16.
Article XII, Section 4 of the SBA Constitution
states: “The President, the Minister of
Government, the Minister of Constitutional
Affairs, and the Minister of Communications
shall be elected through a simple majority of student voting in a regular or special election.”
Jamie Ardena, the adviser for the SBA believes that a special election is needed between
the top two candidates. It “used to be that it was
a plurality was all that was needed, but the new
Constitution says a candidate must have a majority,” Ardena said.
Previous candidates won on plurality. In
American politics, the largest number of votes
when three or more choices are possible, is the
winner. The special election will be between two
candidates. To win, one candidate needs 50 percent of the votes or more.
The Minister of Communications and Minister
of Constitutional Affairs positions would be in
for a revote if Clarissa Boediarto, the current
Minister of Government makes the decision
about how to proceed with the reelection. Lam
Phu Nguyen will be running against Densely
Mujardi for the Minister of Communications position, and Stanley Halim will be running again
for Minister of Constitutional Affairs.
Last year’s Student Government rewrote their
Constitution, so the school election is now entering uncharted territory.
On Friday, May 8 the SBA will discuss whether
or not this reelection will take place for sure.
DECA students capture first place prize
Dan DeMay
Staff Writer
avid Lim and Alex Chan outfoxed their competition and
brought home a first place award in
International Marketing from the 2009
College Distributive Education Clubs
of America (DECA) International
Conference. The competition was
held April 22-25 in Anaheim, CA
and included 17 other students from
SCC with 15 receiving recognition or
awards.
This is the second year that Lim and
Chan have competed at both the state
and national levels, and they brought
home a third place trophy last year.
For the final round this year, they were
faced with a marketing dilemma involving educational products in Asia. The
D
duo spent an hour studying the case before coming up with the winning solution. “I was so happy, we wanted it so
badly,” Chan said.
Kong, he spoke no English, but DECA
has helped him greatly, he said. “I
joined DECA because David joined,”
Chan said. “It was a good way to learn
English.”
The two seem to have
“Before I came here,
formed a strong bond after
five quarters working and
I was just a regular person...
learning together, and they
I stand out now.”
strive to stay competitive. “I
-Alex Chan feel excited,” Chan said. “This
guy just keeps pushing me.”
They were eager with anticipation beAccording to Chan, DECA has been
fore receiving their award. Chan recalled life-changing. “Before I came here, I
his nervousness. “It was really exciting,” was just a regular person, and I just
he said. “They kept calling names on wanted to go to school, learn English,
stage, and I had counted nine--they still and get a degree,” he said. “Now I feel
hadn’t called our name. Then they called like I’ve gotten ahead. I stand out now.”
us last.”
When Chan came here from Hong
In Opinions
Check your priorities, and
say "no" to sex - pg 4
In Features
Indulge in your
fetishes - pg 6
Photo by Sean Sherman
Alex Chan and David Lim took home first place for international marketing
at the College DECA International Conference.
In A&E
Get lost with SCC's
Secret Garden - pg 13
In Sports
Read about SCC softball's
playoff push - pg 14
NEWS
2
Ebbtide Faculty
Campus Briefs
Nurses Day Celebration
The Shoreline Community College
Association of Nursing Students (SCCANS)
will present a celebration to mark National
Nurses Week, on May 12, the birthday of
Florence Nightingale, who is considered the
founder of modern nursing.
The event will be held in room 2308 of the
Health Occupations (2300) building from
11:30 p.m.--1 p.m. and features a guest speaker, Sandi Kruse, Advanced Registered Nurse
Practitioner (ARNP). Prizes will be raffled off
and thank-you gifts will be given to nursing
faculty . They will also announce the recipients
of the SCC Foundation nursing scholarships.
Trade your old clothes for free
new ones
There will be a clothing swap from noon
-- 1:30 p.m.on Friday, May 15, in room 4100
(lower level of the library). This event only
comes once a year, and is free to all students,
faculty, staff, and administrators.
The swap is a chance to clean out your closet
and help another person out by donating your
used clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. Also, be sure
to try some items on. If you can use it or it fits
you, it’s yours.
Bring your items to Technology Support
Services in room 4122, anytime before 10 a.m.
on Friday, May 15. Leftover clothes will be donated to homeless and women’s shelters.
Community art piece
Get your hands dirty and help shape our
campus by pitching in to a community art
piece! From 8:30 a.m.- 2 p.m. on May 11 14, in the PUB lobby, there will be a Campus
Ambassador with tables and chairs set up
full of art supplies. Help fill up three huge
blank white boards with your own painted
masterpieces.
Celebrate the best pieces from
SCC’s Fine Arts students
Shoreline highlights the best of the best
from students graduating from the Associates
of Fine Arts degree program. Visit the exhibit at the College Gallery (located in the 1000
building) and see the best printmaking, painting, drawing, photography, sculpture, and ceramics pieces that the students created in the
2008-2009 school year.
There will be an artists’ reception from 3:30
p.m. - 5 p.m. on May 12, also at the gallery.
For more information, please contact Natalie
Niblack at (206) 533-6763, extension 5.
Letter from the Editor
Hello Campus, Working on the sex issue has been an absolute blast! Some students have been eager to share their stories and views on sex and
some teachers have brought great insight into topics surrounding
sex, yet many have asked, “Why is The Ebbtide putting out an issue
devoted to sex?”
Firstly, we are in a college setting - where futures, expressions, and
minds are intended to be stretched and expanded. Learning inherently has roots in curiosity and, sadly, curiosity is often smothered
before it can be nurtured. Throughout their lives, students have been
exposed to sex in many different ways, yet this has not always happened in an open or informative way.
Many people and institutions throw sex into the realm of the taboo - acting as if it doesn’t exist. Labeling them as “explicit”, they
hesitate to discuss details that are not only important to students
but, in fact, to everyone in society.
What do they mean by explicit? Granted everything has a time
and place yet if they see sex as negative and in need of censorship,
they aren’t necessarily helping students. Avoiding talks about sex
and living under the umbrella that not talking will be good for everyone, especially those of a younger generation, can be detrimental
to people’s lives.
The number of unintended pregnancies in the United States
has steadily increased every year. Half of all pregnancies in the US
‑ or about 3 million annually -- are unintentional, according to The
National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) are a rampant problem,
too. There are an estimated 19 million infections per year in the US,
according to the Reproductive Health Technologies Project. Many of
these cases could be avoided by better informing students
As Editor in Chief of the Ebbtide, I believe it is this newspaper’s responsibility to provide a platform for students to not only openly discuss topics that pertain to their everyday lives, but to also learn about
such topics. After reading this issue, it is up to students to choose to
either abstain or make responsible decisions in their sexually active
lives – the Ebbtide only seeks to provide a means for students to make
more informed and educated decisions. However, The Ebbtide does not encourage students to have sex just like we did not encourage students to do drugs with our “Drug
Survey” during winter quarter. Instead, we aim to create a relaxed
and open environment where students can express themselves, ask
questions, discuss, and, most importantly, learn about sex without
any embarrassment or fear while doing so. Sincerely, NEWS...............................................................1-3
OPINIONS...........................................................4
FEATURES.........................................................5-9
TECHNOLOGY & HEALTH..................................10
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT.............................11-13
SPORTS........................................................14-15
ETCETERA..........................................................16
T
he Ebbtide seeks to provide
its readers with fair and
accurate information. Send us
an email at webbtide@yahoo.
com if you have questions or
comments regarding our published material.
The following corrections
are for Volume 44 Issue 12
On page 7, the picture of
the Seattle Cherry Blossom
and Japanese Cultural Festival
should have read “Seattle celebrates Japanese culture.” The
photo should have photo credited Sean Sherman.
The article on page 6 “Tune
Faculty Advisor
Patti Jones
Disclaimer
The Ebbtide is the official
studentnewspaper of Shoreline
Community College (SCC). Opinions published within do not represent the views of the Ebbtide
staff or its representatives of SCC.
Missed an issue?
All issues are archived online at
www.shoreline.edu/webbtide
Contact the Ebbtide
Amelia Rivera
Editor in Chief
Shoreline Community College
16101 Greenwood Ave N Room
9101
Shoreline, WA, 98113
webbtide@yahoo.com
(206) 546-4730
Corrections
INSIDE
Editor in Chief
Amelia Rivera
Design Director
Macy Wood
Photo Editor
Sean Sherman
Copy Editor
Janelle Kohnert
A&E Editor
Triana Collins
Sports Editor
Lavi Aulck
Business Manager
Dennie Chong
Webmaster
Huai-Hsien Feng
Distribution Manager
Daniel DeMay
STAFF
Aaron Hunter
Adam Goldstein
Amanuel Yihdego
Daniel Berman
David Gillett
Dillyn Kost
Greggory Helfrich
Ivana Cheong
Jocelyn Chui
Jonathan Boe
Kaiya Hubbard
Miles Liatos
Sara Nagi
Norm Rogers
Pierson Brooks
Rezina Habtemariam
Taylor Dahnert
Yasu Kawamura
in, turn on, or drop out: Make
your choice for online classes,”
said that psychology teacher
Diana Knauf is currently teaching classes online from Hong
Kong. She’s actually teaching
from Shanghai.
The article on page 7 about
laptops should have had the
headline “Get the lowdown on
laptops.”
On page 11 sculptor Eric
Nelsen’s name was misspelled
in the article “When teapots
party.”
Submissions
Submissions from students, faculty,
staff and administration are welcomed and highly encouraged. All
articles, letters to the editor, artwok
and/or photographs must include
the contributor's name and phone
number for verification. Submissions
are subject to editing for clarity and
content. Articles and letters should
be 350 words or less. Art and photography should be submitted as
high resolution .tif files.
Advertising
For ad rates and file requirements,
contact:
Dennie Chong at
webbtideads@yahoo.com
or call (206) 546 4730
Copyright 2009 The Ebbtide
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
NEWS
3
Fighting global poverty and hunger
Rezina Habtemariam
Staff Writer
he Global Development Project
Club (GDP) hosted a Hunger
Banquet as a metaphor for global inequality to provide awareness surrounding the issue of global hunger in
the PUB Quiet Dining Room on April
28.
Upon entering the room, each person drew a ticket which assigned them
to high, middle, or low income socialeconomic classes. On each ticket was
a personal narrative describing the
characteristics of the class. The quiet
dining room quickly surpassed its capacity of students, faculty, staff, and
community members.
The room was arranged with blankets on the ground in the center for the
low income class, row of chairs on one
side for the middle class, and lavishly
decorated tables on the opposite side
T
Photo by Gregory helfrich
Students participating in the Hunger Banquet wait in line for their
portions of rice. Those who were classified as high-income class
didn't have to wait in line and were catered to by the faculty as part
of the project.
for the high income class.
Those that were part of the highincome class were immediately greeted and entirely catered to by faculty
members including professors Tim
Payne, Kenny Lawson and Dr. Ernest
Johnson. The people sitting on the
floor were visibly uncomfortable due
to crowding.
Business professor and GDP
Adviser Steve McCloskey began the
event by asking the audience to think
about what it’s like to go to a grocery
store in America. Reading off his grocery receipt he attempted to illustrate
the abundance of available food here
in the US.
Next, participants received meals
corresponding to the tier they were
placed in. The 50 percent at the low income level waited in line for tiny portions of rice which they had to eat with
their hands. The 35 percent in the mid-
dle income section also waited in line
for a small amount of rice and some
beans. The 15 percent in the high income level were served an extravagant meal: pasta, salad, and rolls, with
drinks of their choice and second servings if desired.
The event also included two guest
speakers, Thuch Malual-Deng, who
was one of the Lost Boys of Sudan,
and Carol Schillios, the founder of the
Fabric of Life foundation.
After the meal, participants shared
their reactions. One student was
moved to tears thinking about her
experience in a refugee camp. Others
were shocked to see the disproportion and feel the discomfort of the
situation.
guest speaker, Thuch Malual-Deng
Carol Schillios founder of the Fabric of
Life
Preventing an epidemic of panic at SCC
Adam Goldstein
Staff Writer
t seems that every other story on radio, TV or in the papers for the past
two weeks has been about Swine Flu
(called H1N1 Influenza) and the possibility of it becoming a pandemic.
However, the truth is out that H1N1 is
no more deadly than human influenza, and fears of a pandemic have been
greatly exaggerated by global media.
Still, students should be informed to
avoid an epidemic of exaggeration on
campus.
H1N1 Influenza is a strain of the influenza virus, otherwise known as the
common flu. Officials indicated fear
that the virus would become transmittable from animals to people, and in
recent weeks it has advanced so people can spread it to each other. There
are fears among the scientific community that the virus could mutate again
I
to become a pandemic, (a disease that
spreads across a whole continent or
the world), to which people have no
immunity.
As of May 7, the Swine Flu is neither
an epidemic nor a pandemic according to the World Health Organization
(WHO). According to WHO, several
countries including Canada, Israel,
Spain, the United Kingdom, New
Zealand, Germany, and more have
reported laboratory confirmed cases with no deaths. There have been
44 reported deaths from H1N1 flu in
the past, while there are 250,000 to
500,000 deaths worldwide from human influenza each year. That’s over
1000 deaths on average per day.
According to WHO, we are currently at phase five of six in the Global
Influenza Preparedness Plan, which
means there has been widespread infection of swine flu into at least two
countries in one region. Phase six, the
final phase of the Preparedness Plan is
when swine flu has been identified as
a pandemic.
People worldwide have been in a
state of fear. Already in the Shoreline
area we have seen school closures, people wearing facemasks, and even some
businesses closing their doors temporarily as parents cannot come to work
because daycare centers refuse to take
children. Regardless of this panic, students do not need to lock themselves
in their homes.
If you wish to know more, consult
your doctor or another health professional, or go online to www.cdc.gov/
swineflu. The world is keeping its eye
on H1N1 Influenza as it develops, and
there is no need for panic.
Photo by Daniel Berman
Although it pays to take extra precaution against all strains of flu,
a facemask like this woman wears in downtown Seattle might be
excessive.
SECURITY TIP:
Keep your valuables with you at all times. If
you see any suspicious activity, contact the
securty office immediately!
Theft
4/15/2009 at 3:30 p.m.
3000 Bldg.
A student playing basketball in the
gym had his backpack stolen.
Suspicious Circumstances
4/16/2009 at 12:30 p.m.
1300 Bldg.
A female student was verbally harassed by another female student.
Theft
4/17/2009 at 2 p.m.
3000 Bldg.
A male student had his backpack
stolen from the gym while playing
basketball.
Disturbance
4/20/2009 at 5:10 p.m.
Parking lot near 5000 Bldg.
Security called to deal with an irate,
intoxicated male who was not a student. He was shouting and making
verbal threats at the officer. Shoreline
Police Department responded and
knows of the individual, but was not
able to find him to make contact.
Suspicious Circumstances
4/22/09 at 7 p.m.
4000 Bldg. Computer Lab
A female student was approached by
an unknown male who was asking her
personal questions.
False Alarm
4/23/09 at 2:46 a.m.
800 Bldg.
A custodian accidently tripped an
alarm on campus.
Recovered stolen property
4/27/09 at 12:30 p.m.
Security Dept -- 5000 Bldg.
The student who was the victim of a
backpack theft from the gym went to
the security office to recover some of
her stolen property. Her backpack was
found on the stairs to the Greenwood
parking lot.
Verbal Dispute
4/26/09 at 4 p.m.
4000 Bldg.
A student reported to a librarian that
other students in the computer lab
were being noisy. Another student
came over to interject and remarks
were exchanged.
Suspicious Circumstances
4/27/09
Security Dept.-- 5000 Bldg.
A student received text and Facebook
messages from a student she knew,
but wanted the contact to stop.
Recovered Stolen Property
4/27/09 at 1 p.m.
Security Dept - 5000 Bldg.
Another backpack was recovered
along with the one found on April 27
on the stairs down to the Greenwood
Lot. Most likely, both were stolen at
the same time. The student came in to
identify and recover his items.
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
OPINIONS
4
Men vs. women: The sexes get stripped
Amelia Rivera
Editor in chief
trip clubs have never been of particular interest to me. However, being a 20-year-old in the US grants me
the fabulous right to watch some erotic
dancers even before I have my first legal drink; so a couple of weeks ago I decided to hit the clubs for the first time.
Some friends and I decided to go to a
male strip club. A surge of “feminism”
ran through my veins as I thought
about the fact that I was going to see
male strippers, but it didn’t last long.
I started thinking about the context,
the reasons and the details of my experience and this dampened my excitement. I thought that this would be an
equalizer, or that somehow me going
to a male strip club would be like men
going to a female strip club.
When I googled “Seattle strip clubs”
I got 10 clubs, nine of which were for
S
straight men. The only option for my
girlfriends and I was Centerfolds if we
wanted to check out men. The supply
of erotic-sexual services for women in
Seattle is limited, compared to the dozens of female strip clubs the city has.
However, that probably means that the
demand is as small as the supply.
Either way, the idea of having sex
with a stranger does not occur to men
and women the same way. Women
tend to look for emotional connections, trust and care with a sexual partner. According to a study published
in the Archives of Sexual Behavior
Journal in Aug. 2004, women would
have short-term relationships to acquire long term partners who promise
more. Still, there are always exceptions
and I’m not implying that all women
are the same, or that one way of thinking is better than the other. But, men
in general go to strip clubs for reasons
quite different than those of women,
for instance to fantasize and sometimes take it a step further.
Although some of Centerfolds’s
strippers did end up completely naked,
most of their performances were spent
teasing the audience, dancing energetically and exciting the audience with
funny scripts, moves and songs performed live. And of course one of the
dramatic superficial differences is the
noise level and energy in the response
from the crowd. Women respond hysterically, laughing and screaming their
lungs out, while guys sit down with serious looks on their faces while the female strippers try not to amuse them
at all.
Women in the audience are allowed
more physical contact with the male
strippers, and are sporadically brought
on stage to mock sex, while men are
completely banned from doing the
same in female strip clubs. Generally,
women frequent male strip clubs with
groups of friends, and the environment is crazy and playful. A male stripper is not merchandised or objectified
as much as female strippers are; it’s
not as common to see male strippers
in movies or ads as it is with female
strippers. This could also be due to the
puritan culture that denies and hides
female sexuality.
Male strippers, although sensual,
are more playful rather than seductive,
starting their shows with relatively full
outfits, whereas female strippers walk
around semi-naked with really revealing skirts and dresses and focus most
of their performance on showing their
breasts and genitals.
Even the way these dancers are portrayed or marketed says a lot about
their images and audience. Just check
online at the Hunk & Babes website
(www.hbstrippers.com), the titles are
revealing. Females are babes--young,
not fully responsible objects of pleasure, and men are hunks--strong built
men. Are they the same then?
The relation between the service
provider and the customer is different in each case. Men strip, approach
women, and intimidate them by taking them to the stage or dancing with
them, while female strippers barely
have contact with their clients unless
there is some extra cash involved in the
form of a lap dance or maybe more. In
both cases, it’s the male who chooses
and acts. Some may take this as a metaphor, others as a caricature of gender
relations in society.
For me and my friends, male strippers were just fun.
Saving sex for marriage is a rational choice
Ivana Cheong
Staff Writer
n an overly sexualized world, do
people who want to save sex for marriage stand a chance to make it?
Our eyes and minds are filled with
Dolce & Gabbana ads with shirtless
men pinning women down while others stand by and scantily dressed women grind away in music videos. The
women on Sex and the City go through
man after man. Fabio taunts us from
the cover of romance novels!
Take your pick, sex is everywhere
we go. With these kinds of messages
constantly portrayed in our society,
premarital sex is the norm. WebMD
found that kids as young as ninth graders are already having sex.
What happens when young adults
make the choice to abstain from sex
until marriage? Well, in the Jonas
Brothers’ case, they became materi-
I
al for Russell Brand’s witty humor at
the MTV Video Music Awards. Jordin
Sparks defended the trio, saying that
“not everybody, guy or girl, wants to
be a slut.”
I made the choice to wait until marriage a long time ago. It had nothing to
do with my religion or my politics—
or my parents, for that matter. I don’t
know a lot, but from what I do know,
premarital sex brings more harm than
benefits.
Couples tend to put too much importance on sex, and the relationship
usually suffers. If they suck in bed,
what’s the point of dating them, right?
How true—you don’t want to be stuck
with one of those for the rest of your
lives, so you gotta take the car out for a
test drive before you buy it.
But think of this: Would you buy
used underwear? I think not.
Let’s be completely rational and look
at the health side. If you’re having sex,
are you prepared to face sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)? Everything
from Chlamydia to herpes to HIV?
How about pregnancy? According
to Surebaby.com, it takes $125,000 ‑
$250,000 to raise a baby to age 18 (not
including college costs!). I don’t know
about you, but I don’t have that kind
of cash lying around to support a kid
that will keep me up all hours with the
crying and the pooping. You can be responsible and wear condoms all the
time, or be on birth control pills, but
none of these methods are 100 percent
foolproof. In fact, condoms only work
97 percent of the time and one of those
little soldiers can sneak through.
And in case abortion ever crosses
your mind, consider the risks and side
effects of it—both physical and emotional. According to the American
Pregnancy Association’s Website,
there would be damage to your cervix
and uterus, such as tearing, infection,
and scarring. There could be severely
heavy bleeding and you would even be
risking death. Emotional effects can include anxiety, guilt, shame, anger, depression, and eating disorders.
But what most people don’t consider nowadays are the emotional effects of sex. If it’s meant to be, it will
bring the two people closer together,
probably. On the other hand, it could
also bring guilt and regret. How do you
know if the person you’re sleeping with
has been doing and saying all the right
things just to get you into bed? What
happens when you give everything you
have to a person who then changes his
mind? At the very least, when you and
your partner both wait until marriage,
you know that that person is committed to you, loves you, and is STD-free.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not here to
judge anyone. I didn’t turn into a conservative who promotes abstinence as
the only form of birth control (like former president George W. Bush). But to
sleep or not to sleep is a decision that
you must make for yourself and yourself only.
For me, sex before marriage brings a
myriad consequences that I will probably not be prepared for. If Victoria’s
Secret supermodel Adriana Lima can
do it, I can too.
d
r
Wo Street
on the
Which type of music
or song do you find romantic?
Photos by sean sherman
Yvonne Gonzalez
“’Truely Madly Deeply’ by Backstreet
Boys. It’s a really good song!”
Marvin Reco Lizado
“Boys to Men, R&B music.”
Blanca Pedroza
“Anything by Shakira.”
Kellen Wetzbarger
“Al Green, and ‘Sexual Healing’ and
‘Lets Get it On’ by Marvin Gaye.”
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
5
What's inside:
Fetish or fantasy
pg 6
Freaky food
pg 7
Sexy statistics
pgs 8 ‑ 9
Facts about contraception pg 10
Dirty dancers
pg 12
all Photos by Dennie Chong
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
FEATURES
6
A nowhere near complete guide to sexual fetishes
Triana Collins
A&E Editor
n case you were wondering, a fetish
is an object believed to have supernatural powers. A sexual fetish is using
that object, idea, fantasy, etc., to get
turned on. It’s usually something different than what the average Joe would
consider erotic and is often totally unrelated to sex. Some strange and potentially arousing examples include:
dendrophilia- trees, scatophilia- feces,
and vorarephilia- eating or being eaten
by others (usually swallowed whole).
Sexual fetishes can be light-hearted
and novel, something new to try with
your consenting partner. Or, they can
be compulsive, obsessive, and addicting, ending in total chaos of your nonsexual life and causing other people
pain. If the latter is you, I suggest going to see a healer like one of SCC’s
trained counselors or a shaman skilled
in entheogens (plants used to bring on
spiritual experiences).
Because every single person on the
planet is different, the array of fetishes
is immense. Maybe one person grew
up with a domineering soccer mom
and now likes his partner to blow
whistles and yell at him to “Try harder, goddammit!” from the side of the
I
bed. Or maybe someone else thought
Tinkerbell was so hot they wanted a
real life version in the bedroom because they get turned on by winged insects crawling over their genitals. The
possibilities are endless.
So how do we develop these strange
habits and desires? It seems that no one
can completely agree. Psychoanalysts
theorize, like Breger and McGaugh in
the journal, Psychological Bulletin, that
a person is reverting to a sexual habit
that arose early in life, while behaviorists, like the famous duo Rachman and
Hodgson, believe it happens through
conditioning.
What they do agree on is that nonsexual objects can become sexually exciting if they are repeatedly associated
with pleasure (cucumbers), and an act
that provides erotic pleasure once may
lead a person to try that over and over
again (revealing your genitals from behind a trench coat on a crowded train
perhaps) until they are hopelessly
addicted.
Foot Fetish
We’ve all seen this on some reality
show at some point in our television
riddled lives: Some guy is just all over
some girl and he’s like, baby this, and
baby that, and let me buy you a mink
foot keychain and a popcorn machine.
And she’s all flustered and calls her
mom and is like, “Momma I got me
the man of my dreams. He loves me
so much and he wants to marry me
and take me out to Applebee’s every
night.”
And the mom knows her daughter is
not the catch of the day and warns her,
but whatdya know, the guy only wants
her for her feet! He doesn’t care if they
stink or are all swollen after a day of
work. He only wants to suck on each
one of her toes individually and then
masturbate in the bathroom.
Sadomasochism
This requires some defining. Sadism
is getting turned on by intentionally
inflicting pain on another person or at
least threatening to do so. Flip it and
you get masochism: when a person derives pleasure from getting subjected
to or threatened with pain. A sadomasochist is a person who can swing
both ways: punching and taking the
punches. There is a large scale of what
is considered S&M.
Maybe your boyfriend is all up in
your ear with, “I am gonna pull your
hair so hard, your bun will come un-
done.” The opposite extreme could
be your girlfriend digging night after
night in the backyard until you’ve got
a secret underground torture chamber complete with an electric fireplace
to light your ass on fire at a moments
notice.
Necrophilia
Necrophilia (an erotic interest in
corpses) is so cool. Isn’t it? I mean,
I’m not a necrophilioist or anything,
but if I was, I would totally think so.
The allure of it comes from a fascination with death, dead things, and dead
people. Road kill may be a slight turn
on as well.
A person may think that the beautiful magical bird we call Death has
invaded another’s being, and by having sexual intercourse with the dead
body, they’ll catch some stray feathers. Maybe they’re just really horny
and happen to be in a morgue and being cold isn’t a problem. Or perhaps
they’ve had a lifetime obsession with
Sleeping Beauty (I mean, she’s like,
basically dead). Kinda creepy, kinda
weird, but hey, who are we to judge?
Obscene Phone Calls
People who get turned on by mak-
ing obscene phone calls are straight
up annoying. It’s like getting a phone
call from an automated machine times
10. C’mon, if you’re gonna talk to me,
TALK to me. Don’t just sit there saying
weird shit like “I’m touching myself
right now,” or “Take me out to the ball
game.” It’s not funny or attractive and
I think no one should do this.
Bestiality
Everyone wants to know about bestiality because animals are fucking hot.
And when I say fucking I mean that not
as a curse aka cuss word but as a verb.
I believe that bestiality will persist
throughout the ages because it always
has. There’s artistic evidence in a cave
painting from 8000 B.C. in the northern Italian Val Carmonica, showing
a man about to penetrate an animal
(check out the rock art and comments
by anthropologists at www.archaeometry.org/sxx.htm).
The Romans liked to watch animals
forcibly sex humans in their big-topcircus-war-games according to Robert
Masters in his paper, “Prehistory of
Bestiality.” Mad people sleep with
their cat or little dog. Ever wonder
where all our most damaging diseases
come from?
Fantasies aren't only for the unhappy
Rezina Habtemariam & Jocelyn Chui
Staff Writers
sychologist Sigmund Freud might have to
consider taking his century-old words back
after he declared that, “A happy person never fantasizes, only a dissatisfied one.”
“The tropical room at the zoo where it’s hot,
humid and sweaty followed by the nocturnal
room where it’s pitch black,” an SCC student said
P
when describing her number one fantasy. “You
can hear the people around you but you can’t
see them and they can’t see you. It’s like getting
caught but not quite.”
Alright lets all admit (and it’s ok) that we fantasize or have fantasized about sex-- it’s only
healthy! Sexual fantasies-- thoughts, daydreams,
visions of sexual acts-- provide a private outlet
for our wildest desires. A study done at Trent
University in Peterborough, Ontario shows that
34 percent: Sex with a teacher. This gives an all
sexual fantasies help spice up sex life.
new meaning to classroom education.
According to research done by psychologists
Also important to note are the gender differat the University of Vermont, frequent fantasiz- ences in sexual fantasies. One of the major differers have sex more often and enjoy it more than ences is that romance tends to be more of an uninfrequent fantasizers. In fact, the association derlying theme in the fantasies of women. More
between sexual fantasies and healthy sex is so women than men focus on emotional characterstrong that it’s now considered pathological not istics rather than physical. “My fantasy is to be
to have sexual fantasies.
a king surrounded by beautiful naked women in
In the library on top of books, in front of paradise,” said one male SCC student.
mirrors, in the pouring rain or at the zoo, sexOther gender differences include:
ual fantasies are vast. From the mini-survey we
The Psychology Today article “The Safest Sex,”
distributed to 50
said that men
people on fantaare more likely
“My fantasy is to be a king
sies, the majority
to imagine themsurrounded by beautiful naked
of people reported
selves as the domihaving the same
nant participant in
women in paradise,”
fantasy more than
a sexual act. Their
‑ SCC student.
one time. The surfantasies focus on
vey contained 21
the other persons’
choices and stubody. Women, on
dents could choose multiple answers. The most the other hand, tend to envision playing a subcommon fantasies reported by these 50 SCC stu- missive role and concentrate more on their partdents are:
ner’s interest than their own.
75 percent: Sex outdoors. Not a surprising
Also, men have a greater variety of fantasies.
Pacific Northwest answer! Forget having sex on Male fantasies more often involve sex with multhe beach, we prefer it in the dirt, a garden, a tiple people. Also “The Safest Sex” said that the
forest, in the mountains. There’s just something number of men fantasizing about group sex is
about the great outdoors.
twice that of women. “Having a three some is the
65 percent: Sex in public places. Maybe it’s classic guy fantasy,” a female SCC student said.
being watched and potentially getting caught in “That was like the number one fantasy for almost
the act that makes this a common fantasy.
every boyfriend I’ve had.”
65 percent: Sex with a famous person or a fic“Fantasies being taboo and socially unaccepttional character. Okay, you know your chance able makes doing it like playing with fire,” anothof having sex with Brad Pitt or Jessica Alba is er SCC student said. “You want to because you are
0.00000001 percent. So why not dream about not supposed to.”
it?
As with food, and clothes, there’s a significant
58 percent: Sex in the workplace. It could be range of personal taste in fantasies with partners.
that we are aroused by the office setting, thoughts So don’t feel uncomfortable or weird about your
about getting down on top of the desks, or sneak- fantasies; just as long as you aren’t breaking any
ing in a closet during your lunch break to handle severe laws. or be handled. I guess SCC students don’t mind
mixing business with pleasure.
Illustration by Piers Brooks
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
FEATURES
7
I smell sex and cupcakes
Amelia Rivera
Editor in chief
ou want cum?” asked
Kimmee Barnett, owner of The Erotic Bakery, while
boxing one of the bakery’s most
popular products: an erect, seven-inch penis cake.
“What is the cum made of?”
I asked cautiously. Barnett
turned and said to me, “See?
There’s a homeless guy on this
street who...” Before I could
even react to that disturbing
idea she smiled and said, “It’s
just sugar.”
Sugar-- that’s one of the
things The Erotic Bakery offers. Sugar with a sexy, naughty
sense of humor for those looking for an uncommon goodie.
Frequented by women celebrating bachelorette parties and
baby showers, The Erotic Bakery
located between 45th street and
Corliss in Wallingford, bakes
all kinds of party goods; penis
shaped straws, penis napkins,
penis balloons, penis hats, penis you-name-it... and occasionally a breast or vagina treat.
Owned by a family since 1986,
the bakery’s environment is
friendly and not at all awkward,
even though it’s the only bakery
of its kind in Seattle. A young
man behind the counter smiles
and greets everyone that comes
“Y
through the door. When taking credit cards, he’ll ask you to
tell him the fourth letter of your
last name--dude, he made me
think hard! Photography is not
allowed in the shop, but jokes
about products are expected
from both clients and staff.
SCC student Mariana Wilson
said, “I decided to go to the bakery in the first place to get a joke
‘present’ for one of my good
friends.”
In the party section of the
store you can find a wide range
of erotic birthday cards with
kinky pictures and phrases
like:
“congratufuckulations
you suckseed.” They definitely
have a creative birthday present for your best friend or partner, or who knows? Maybe for
yourself.
And of course, you can’t forget the bakery section, with its
ample selection of delicious
cakes, cookies and cupcakes,
each decorated with a marzipan genital of your choice. You
can even choose the color and
size of the genital. But remember that if you’re looking to buy
a cake, you must call ahead so
they can prepare it for you.
According to SCC student
Ksenia Popova, who went to
the bakery, the sexual treats
can even help solve friendship
tensions. “I wanted to bring a
cupcake as a peace offering to a
friend after a little drama,” said
Popova. “And I thought that it
would be 100 times better if it
had a penis on it.”
In some of the bakery’s small
aisles, the objects on the stands
become more personal. The
goodies aren’t necessarily targeted for group parties, but for
smaller, more intimate settings.
This is the bakery’s sex toy section with the most popular and
discreet vibrators, shockers,
lubes and dildos.
When paying for your treats,
don’t forget to read the insinuating phrases on the walls, taken from the bakery’s shower
and party cakes. My favorite,
“Mean people suck, but nice
people lick,” is just one of the
playful innuendos. You may
also be tempted to get some
mints, that of course like everything else in the store, are penis
and breast ‑ shaped.
Isn’t the erotic bakery
thoughtful? You get to buy food
and toys for your special occasion. What a convenient place!
It’s like a sex-ified Fred Meyer.
Photo by Amelia Rivera
Dillyn Kost and Macy Wood enjoy an erotic treat.
Reported by: Amelia Rivera,
Kaiya Hubbard & Taylor
Dahnert
Different kinds of sex in the world
Trianna Collins
A&E Editor
his list is surely incomplete. I encourage you all to start your own
list of Different kinds of sex that there
are and share it with the world.
T
Parental Sex
This is horrible, absolutely gross,
cover your eyes and your ears type
stuff. Like if you’re a little kid and
you’re trying to sleep and then you
hear your parents having sex and it
is like, “OMG I think I might die or
pass out or both.” Try thinking about
your parents having sex. Immediate
blockage right? Natural evolutionarily-advantageous-DNA-encoder
type shit.
Messy Sex
Messy sex can be anything from
“Oops I spilled my ice cream and now
you have to lick it up,” to the teenagers who experiment with chocolate
sauce. Then they have a brown and
smudgy sheet that they stick in the
attic where the guy’s mom finds it
and she’s all, “WTF?” But he doesn’t
wanna get in trouble so tells her he
had an accident.
More extreme, would be if you
called someone over and said, “Hey
what’s up?” But really that is code for
“Hey, wanna have sexual relations?”
So that person comes over and you’re
all stoked and get ready by say, fixing
the pillows on the couch, and then it
turns out they’re totally drunk and
you’re like, “WTF? I thought you
wanted to have sexual relations?”
And they say, “Hells yeah I do!”
But they are drunk and have lots
of gum in their mouth and get gum
all over you. So now you have to get
chewing gum out of your hair (which
is really hard) and off your skin.
Sucks.
evidence that sperm are geographically/anatomically aware of their
surroundings.
This type of sex occurs a lot in people who are of certain religions. They
think that people should wait to have
sex until they are recognized by pieces of paper and verbal exchanges of
their love for each other. It’s harder
for some people to get those pieces
of paper than for others. Seems like
one of those rules that should have
gotten broken sometime in the early 1900’s, doesn’t it? Like slavery or
women not being allowed to vote. It’s
just like, duh! Basic human right, or
what?
your soul will shirnk. If you want sex
forced on you, you should maybe go
talk to a professional.
Forced Sex
I love You Because We
Forced sex is totally uncool. Never
Are in Holy Matrimony in a million years is this at all encourSex
aged. If you force sex upon someone,
Butt Sex
Butt sex involves penis to anus
contact. This can occur between a
man and a woman, a man and a man,
or a woman with a strap on and another woman or man. Some people
feel this is cruel and unusual punishment to sperm, as they will swim as
hard as they can towards the interior of the body regardless of whether
they are in a vagina or an ass.
When in the butt, sperm-defenders say that sperm cannot do the one
thing they know how to do: infiltrate
and impregnante an egg. These people reason that the sperm are basically being thrown to their deaths
while the all powerful sperm controller is fully aware of the “ultimate
plan” (sperm genocide!). However,
opponents reveal that there is no
Sex in dreams
Some people think sex in dreams
is really cool. They say it is very floaty
and blurry. Never could you guess
the wonders that may lay there. One
minute the dreamer is making love in
a park surrounded by tulips the size
of a large man and the next they’re
20,000 leagues under with out a
mask or air tank. Then, after they’ve
learned how to breathe underwater,
they turn into mermaids and live
happily ever after. So, like I said, you
never know what might happen.
Sex you pay for or get
paid for
This seems like the ultimate worst
kind of sex. I once went with a friend
to a pornographic store in San Diego.
He was 30 and his “friend” from high
school worked there and was gonna hook us up with a discount. My
friend bought a fake, plastic vagina.
It was a steep $30, but he just had to
have it. Then, he didn’t like the plastic one so we went to Tijuana , got
really drunk and got a hooker and I
swear she was like 15.
Sex Toys: Facts, Oddities,
and Histories
Amanuel Yihdego
Staff Writer
hought hidden from the mainstream, arguably normal sex toys
can be pleasurable to use, offensive to
bring up and possibly dangerous if handled incorrectly.
Once considered taboo, using toys or
tools to stimulate isn’t new and isn’t that
hard to do. With a storied history and
ever evolving future, boys and girls alike
continue to find new and exciting ways
to indulge their sexual senses.
Possibly the most popular text on sexual endeavors, the Kama Sutra mentions
prosthetics that were used to make an
erection seem larger. Built from wood,
leather, buffalo horn, copper, silver, ivory or gold they were used when a little
more help was needed in the instance of
erectile dysfunction.
Sex enthusiasts maintain it was the
Roman Catholic Church who began the
witch hunt to suppress sexual urges with
the threat of punishment. Fathers and
husbands would keep their women faithful and obedient through chastity belts,
made of leather with metal bonds and a
padlock that could only be removed by a
key. Similar to bondage, it is a degrading
tool meant to empower men and control
a woman’s sexual experience. Now, chastity belts can be purchased to be used on
men. Despite efforts of the influential
church, sexual deviances manifested
within the culture.
Blindfolding and bondage can be humiliating or empowering depending on
who’s in charge. They’re used to increases sensual pleasure and can be a simple
cloth around the eyes or a piece of rope
tied in knots around the wrists.
If you’re feeling a bit more risqué
you can try handcuffs. Venture into
Babeland on Capital Hill and near the
back wall a large collection of suitable restraints and plastic whips vary in shapes
and sizes. The pros, have whips, paddles
and gags. Leather is optional, but considered by many to be the only way to go
for its dark colors, strong material and
T
ominous appearance.
Fetishes and toys go hand and hand.
Animal lovers can put on costumes, and
mix in a little bondage with the right collar and leashes. At the Seattle Erotic Arts
festival opening night on May 1, a nude
striped orange lady on a leash crawled
around and played with the audience.
Covered only in body paint, she was submissive to the will of her master.
Vibrators are popular among females
who use toys though men can play with
them too. The original vibrator, created by an American physician, George
Taylor, M.D., was a cumbersome wood
and metal contraption operated by
steam. Today’s vibrators are commercialized for satisfaction, but the old wood
and metal machines attempted to cure
women’s hysteria, which is an antiqued
medical terminology for crazy lady.
Modern vibrators come in wide variances. The Hitachi Magic Wand and
other massagers do the job of stimulating and are inconspicuous around the
house. One’s vibrator can buzz, spin, and
stroke in many different forms. The typical shape is reminiscent of a dildo but
smaller ones can stimulate the clitoris or
please other parts of the body. Examples
range from the Bullet which is the size of
a tennis ball to vibrating tongue piercings which can be used in oral sex.
When asked abut their clientele,
the Babeland employee said business
types are their most frequent visitors.
Politicians or anyone with a reputation
at stake commonly rent out private sessions to browse the store’s selection.
Their disposable income and long lonely
trips are among their reasons for shopping, the employee said.
The consensus from anonymous interviewees is that sex toys serve their
purposes only if they improve your experience. Nipple clamps may seem attractive but if you’re screaming in pain
and not pleasure, some revisions are required. It was recommended by toy users that after years of prudence a bit of
experimentation never hurts.
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
FEATURES
8
The Naked Truth: an in‑dept
A look at the results
Lavi Aulck
Sports Editor
ccording to a Sex Survey conducted by The Ebbtide, 11 percent of
males have paid for or been paid for
sex while only 2 percent of their female
counterparts have done the same. Also,
67 percent of students masturbate – 79
percent of males and 57 percent of females – according to the survey.
The Ebbtide surveyed over 200 students on campus from Apr 27 to May
4 in various classes including but not
limited to biology, communications,
foreign language, math, music, nursing, and physical education. Many
classes also declined to participate in
the survey altogether and students
within particular classes were given
the option to decline.
Much of the survey results were
highlighted by differing results between males and females. For example,
71 percent of males said they watch
pornographic material whereas only
33 percent of females said to the same.
Also of interest is that 27 percent of
A
males said they have had sex with 16
or more partners while only 13 percent
of females said the same. Additionally,
79 percent of all students surveyed said
they are or have been sexually active in
their lives – a percentage that contains
84 percent of females but only 73 percent of males.
What did not differ between the
sexes, however, was the age at which
they first had sex. About 46 percent of
those surveyed said they first had intercourse between the ages of 15 and
17 – a category that contained 50 percent of all males and 43 percent of all
females. Also of notable from the results is that 10 percent of students surveyed said they first had sex between
the ages of 12 and 14.
Another result of interest was that
90 percent of all students surveyed
said they were heterosexual while the
homosexual and bisexual populations were 5 percent and 4 percent,
respectively.
Surveyed student by sex.
48.5% male
51% female
0.5% unspecified
Sexually Active Students
73.5% active
84.5% active
MALE
FEMALE
Exploring SCC's most popu
Percentage
Method
Condom
Pill
Pull out
Morning After
Abstinence
Ring
Shot
Abortion
Female Condom
Spermicide
IUD
Patch
81.3
53.1
35.6
28.1
18.8
10.0
9.4
8.8
8.7
8.1
8.1
6.9
# 1 The male
condom
Amelia Rivera
Editor in Chief
According to The Ebbtide sex survey
results, the condom is the most popular birth control method used by SCC
students.
This latex or plastic sheath worn on
the penis during intercourse can not
only help prevent pregnancies, but it
is also a barrier method that protects
both partners from STD transmission.
They can be bought in pharmacies for
around $1, that you can also get them
for free at the Women’s Center on the
third floor of the PUB.
According to Planned Parenthood
this method has a 75-85 percent effectiveness. However, it will work better if
used with other birth control methods
like the pill, vaginal rings, or spermicides. Some condoms can be bought with
spermicide on them.
It is important in order to increase
# 3 Pull out or
withdrawal
method
This method is the third most-used birth
control method. However, this is the least
effective and most unsafe of SCC students
most popular methods with a 70 percent
effectiveness in avoiding pregnancy, but
no barrier for STDs, according to Planned
Parenthood.
The pull out or withdrawal method consists of removing the penis from the vagina
before the moment when sperm spurts out
of the penis, also known as ejaculation.
Age of first consensual sex.
(% of students)
50
Number of sexual partners.
(% of students)
30
45.9
25
40
30.7
30
25.8
20
By removing the peni
tion, there is less probab
sperm to join an egg. Ho
a lot of self-control from
and, since sperm remain
ter ejaculation, factors like
turbation or sex add to th
One way of making it s
to urinate between ejacu
of sperm. However, pre-e
still carry sexually trans
and pulling out before e
not be enough.
Hermien Watkins, pro
says, “Because it is not r
Russian Roulette. It’s taki
pregnancy and STDs.”
Students who have
11.1% have paid
18.5
19.4
2-5
6-10 11-15
16.9
19.4
15
20
10
0
9.6
10
12.0
1.8
12-14 15-17 18-20 21-25
25+ (age)
5
0
1
a co
and
mus
vulv
T
whi
con
oil b
and
is m
T
mos
con
leav
men
with
dom
base
bub
bles
S
dom
and
But
con
out
16+ (# of partners)
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
MALE
FEATURES
9
th look at student's sex lives
Making sex safer and baby free
Students who practice safe sex.
87.5% practice safe sex
86.2% practice safe sex
Amelia Rivera
Editor in chief
No birth control method or barrier
is 100 percent safe and effective, but
there are definitely ways of protecting
yourself. Learn about them!
Birth control methods: from most
effective to not so much.
#1 Abstinence
MALE
No matter what, this is the only
method that can assure you 100 percent, that you won’t get pregnant or
that you won’t get any type of Sexually
Transmitted Diseases (STDs). However
for some people this is not going to
happen, so jump to # 2.
FEMALE
ular birth control methods
ondom’s effectiveness to know how
d when to put it on. The condom
st be on before the penis touches the
va, and it can only be used once.
The condom most not be teared
ile opening it the package. If the
ndom is not lubricated, avoid using
based lubricants on latex condoms,
d do not use too much. A drop or two
more than enough.
The foreskin, unless circumcised ,
st be pulled back before rolling the
ndom down the tip of the hard penis
ving a half-inch space to collect sen. The air in the tip must be pinched
h one hand while unrolling the conm with the other hand towards the
e of the penis, smoothing out any air
bbles. The friction with these bubs could break the condom.
Some people do not like using conms because it stops the sexual act,
d some argue that it dulls sensation.
t there are many different types of
ndoms, and ways of making it work
for you.
is before ejaculability of allowing
owever, this takes
the male partner
in the urethra afe time of last mashe risks.
safer is for men is
ulations to get rid
ejaculation could
smitted diseases,
ejaculation might
ofessor of nursing
reliable, it is like
ing a chance with
SCC’s second favorite birth control
method is the birth control pill.
Birth control pills or oral contraception are made of hormones, most
of the time estrogen and progestin or
a combination of both. The pills can
be purchased with a prescription at a
clinic or drugstore and it can cost $15$50 a month depending on the type.
Some insurances cover the pill.
The hormones in the pill will keep
the women’s ovaries from ovulating,
so the sperm will have no egg to join.
The hormones also thicken the cervical mucus that blocks sperms and keep
them from joining with an egg.
According to PP, if taken regularly
as directed by a physician the pill can
be 99 percent effective as a birth control method. However, this does not
protect you from STDs, so it should be
used with a barrier method if not sure
#4 Morning
after pill
Also known as Emergency pill or
Plan B, this is the fourth most commonly used birth control method
among SCC students.
The pills are an effective method to
prevent pregnancy, but in order for
them to be effective, they must be taken no more than 72 hours after unprotected intercourse.
Some morning after pills contain
paid for sex.
2.3% have paid
FEMALE
#2 The Pill
#2 Vasectomy, Female
sterilization and IUD
about partner’s health and sex life.
There are two main types of pills,
the 28-day and the 21-day packages.
The 28-day packs contain 21 active
pills, and 7 pills that do not contain
hormones but serve as reminders, and
the 21 which only have the active pills,
but need to have a week in between
packs.
Some combination pills contain
more than 21-day active pills, so contact your physicians or local clinic for
more information. Progestin-only pills
come in 28-day packs and all the pills
contain the progestin throughout the
cycle.
The effects of the pill depend on
the woman and the type of pills prescribed. Some common side effects
are bleeding between periods, breast
tenderness, nausea and vomiting, but
most women overcome these side effects after two or three months.
only on hormone levongestrel (Plan
B), and others contain two, progestin
and estrogen. Progestin prevents implantation of the sperm to the egg and
estrogen stops the ovaries from releasing eggs.
These pills are available for women
17 and over without a prescription, but
clinics can prescribe them to younger
women if necessary. The cost varies
from $10 to $70.
However, this method is not a barrier for STDs.
MALE
These methods are in second place
with two to eight pregnancies per 100
women each year according to PP, and
they get trickier. For breastfeeding to
These get third place with 15 to 25
pregnancies per 100 women according
to PP. The best known of these methods, the male condom, and the female
condom are also STD barriers, and
could be combined with the methods
in #3 or spermicide for safer sex. An
important thing with these methods is
to learn how to put them on!
#5
Withdrawal
Spermicide
and
There is a reason why these are last,
so please be aware that these rarely
work! About 30 pregnancies out of a
100 women happen every year according to PP. These are definitely not STD
barriers, so why take the chance?
Barriers against STDs
#1 Abstinence
#3 Sexy safety
Again, there is no way besides abstinence to be 100 percent safe.
Avoiding sexual intercourse and
oral sex can decrease risks without killing the fun. Here are some things you
can do to reduce the risk.
The safest: Masturbation, cybersex,
phone sex, fantasy sharing.
Less safe: Making out, mutual masturbation, fondling, massaging, rubbing, and playing with toys.
#2 Putting a barrier on
love
If abstinence isn’t your thing, there
are different ways of practicing safer
sex, and avoiding STD transmission.
One way is barriers like male condoms,
female condoms and dental dams
which will stop the anus, the vagina,
mouth or penis from exchanging fluids which could be carriers of STDs.
For more information on safe sex
and birth control methods go to:
www.plannedparenthood.org
Abstinence is the fifth most popular method among SCC students, and
the safest possible.
Abstinence consists of completely
avoiding sex, so you do not have to
worry about birth control or barrier
methods.
72.4% have been tested
FEMALE
#3 Pill, Ring, Shot,
Breastfeeding and Patch
#4 Male condom, Female
condom,
Diaphragm,
Cervical Cap, Sponge
and Fertility awareness
based methods
#5 Abstinence
Students tested for STDs.
58.7% have been tested
According to Planned Parenthood
(PP) these are the safest birth control
methods, with one pregnancy per 100
women each year. However it is recommended that men wear condoms during the first three months after getting
a vasectomy. Non of these methods
work as barriers for STDs.
work as a method of birth control, the
woman has to be breastfeeding night
and day and it will only work during
the first six months. The shot, the ring
and the patch need to be replaced or
retaken on time, and for best results
a doctor should be consulted since it
involves taking hormones, and each
body is different. And again, these are
no STD barriers!
Students who have used toys.
30.6% have used toys
MALE
48.5% have used toys
FEMALE
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
TECH & HEALTH
10
Do you have all the facts about women's health?
Sara Nagi
Staff Writer
s little girls we expect our mothers to guide
us into womanhood, but sometimes we skip
a few steps. Nowadays there’s much more to worry about than periods and tampons.
A
One SCC student let us in on exactly
how much she knows about women’s
health. “When I hear women’s health
I think of pap smears, checkups, and
birth control,” she said. I was curious to know if she was actually getting an annual checkup. She laughed
and slowly replied, “No, ‘cause I’m
too lazy.” She was also a little unsure
of the harms HPV (Human Papilloma
Virus) causes. “Yes, I’ve heard of it but
I don’t know very much about it,” she
said. “I’ll probably get the HPV shot.
My biggest concern as far as my health
is getting cervical cancer.”
In order to protect our health,
women must make sure to receive annual pap tests. They can be given by
your doctor and clinics in your area
(Women‘s Clinic of Seattle, North
Public Health Center, Edmonds
Women‘s Clinic, etc). Information
from Planned Parenthood says that
one of the main reasons for these
pap tests is to check for HPV. There
are many different types of HPV and
some cause no harm. Other types can
lead to disease of the genital area, cervical cancer, precancerous lesions, or
genital warts.
The best way to prevent HPV is by
getting all three doses of the Gardasil
vaccine. There are some side effects
such as pain, swelling, itching, and
redness at the injection site. The side
effects however are inconsequential
when compared to the dangers of
HPV.
Two students studying in the PUB
shared their knowledge of women’s
health with me as well. Ava Munson
and Katie Phelan opened up on their
annual’s and what else they plan on
doing to protect themselves. Getting
pap’s, knowing when something’s
wrong with your body, and being able
to talk to someone are all important
parts of women’s health, according to
Phelan. Munson shared similar views.
When it comes to our health, “it’s important to understand your needs,
take more iron, and have a good relationship with your doctor so you can
be open about anything with them,”
Munson said. When asked if they receive annual check-ups, they replied
in unison, “Yes!”
In relation to Munson’s views on
iron, the National Institute of Health’s
Office of Dietary Supplements agrees
in stating that women aged 14-18
should take 15 milligrams of iron daily and women aged 19-50 should take
18 milligrams a day unless the woman
is pregnant. If this is the case, then the
woman should intake at least 27 milligrams a day.
I
Photo by Dennie Chong
Katie Phelan shows one of the free brochures that's available at the Women's Health Center in
the PUB. Also looking at the group of brochures is Ava Munson.
asked them both what exactly they
knew about HPV. “I know it’s contracted sexually,” Phelan said. “Both
men and women can have it and
there’s a vaccine for it.” Munson nodded her head in agreement. “That’s
about what I know too,” she said. They
both haven’t had the Gardasil vaccine
which prevents HPV. “I haven’t looked
into it enough,” Munson said. In 2005, the Centers for Disease
Control estimated that 20 million
people had this virus and the numbers continue to grow. Talk to your
doctor and discuss the best options
for you. The Women’s Center on the
third floor of the PUB is a great place
to get started.
Some common misconceptions about contraception
Taylor Dahnert
Staff writer
ou have to admit, mother nature
did a good job of figuring out how
to get our species to reproduce--make it
feel really good! People like it so much
that it’s often done without the intention of making another human. This
being said, whether we want it or not,
in the right environment, sperm plus
egg equals baby. So how do you acheive
the “O”s without the “Oh no!”s?
There are a few perfect or nearly
perfect contraceptive methods, such
as sterilization and abstinence, but for
many people, these aren’t realistic options. There are also many, many unguaranteed methods that, while they
are more convenient, aren’t as effective
as they appear. Some methods, such
as condoms and spermicides are effective, but not perfect, and unfortunately some people get creative and try alternatives that are unnecessarily risky.
Here are some contraceptive methods
you should avoid:
Y
The “pull-out” method
Only 73 percent effective, this method can pose many problems. According
to Planned Parenthood, many men
“lack the experience and self-control
to pull out in time.” Also, pre-ejaculate, also known as “pre-cum”, which
precedes the actual ejaculate, can carry
live sperm from an earlier ejaculation
into the vagina or vulva. And pre-cum
carries the same Sexually Transmitted
Diseases, (STDs), as the ejaculate.
The homemade abortion
Methods to terminate a pregnancy
are controlled and should not be done
without the advice of a physician. Some
more, for lack of a better word, innovative women, have tried upping their
Vitamin C intake in hopes of keeping
the fertilized egg from “sticking” to
the uteran wall. This idea is completely opposite of the results found in studies done by the University of Texas,
University of Oregon, and others. For
a healthier baby and smooth delivery,
a high intake of Vitamin C should be
maintained.
An overdose on any vitamin or drug
can cause just as much damage to the
mother as the unborn child. By beating at the overies and uterus, attempts
to kill the fetus may be effective, but
it is likely to cause damage to reproductive organs and there is little way
to tell if the unborn child is still growing without the care of professional in
the field.
Essentially, at the earliest sign of
pregnancy, there is a small chance of
preventing pregnancy without seeing
any healthcare professional. There is
an even smaller chance of preventing
harm to the mother in these attempts.
Homemade condoms
“Clingwrap barely sticks to plates,
and that’s what its intended use is!”
said a student who wishes to remain
anonymous. When asked about this
method, Lynette Peters, Program
Manager of the Women’s Center, located on the third floor of the PUB, grimaced and said, “You’re going to want
to go to Planned Parenthood about
that.” Take her reaction as a sign not
to use plastic wrap or plastic bags instead of a condom.
Speaking of condoms, there are
plenty available in the Women’s
Center and they’re 97 percent effective
when used correctly. Never use a condom that has been previously opened,
used, or exposed to direct heat.
None of the information in this article is meant to take the place of a visit
to a local health care provider. There,
you can receive information on other
ineffective methods such as douching,
and stopping intercourse before the
woman orgasms, and also information
on options that are effective. For more
information on Planned Parenthood,
visit the Women’s Center, found on
the top level of the PUB, to find a location near you. Listed below are the
Planned Parenthood Centers located
nearest to campus. More locations as
well as other information can be found
at plannedparenthood.org.
illustration by Macy Wood
Local Planned Parenthood offices
Kenmore
6610 NE 181st St # 2
Kenmore, WA 98028
(425) 482-1122
Lynnwood
19505 76th Ave W # 200
Lynnwood, WA 98036
(425) 775-3496
University
District
4500 9th Ave NE # 324
Seattle, WA 98105
(206) 328-7711
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
11
Porn with a mission
A&E Calendar
W
hen I first moved to Seattle, I was like WTF? When’s it gonna get dark? Evening had
taken on a whole new meaning. The twilight zone was pushed deeper into the abyss
of time. It felt weird to go out earlier than 9:30 p.m. Here I was, all dressed up for the city’s
nightlife, sequins ready to sparkle under disco balls, glitter-glued to flash like fire under pulsing strobe lights, and it’s still light out!
My outfits were not meant for sun and blue skies; this is dark, shadowy attire. Now that I was
forced to go out later than usual, my internal clock just had to adjust to wake me up at the
indistinguishable hour of a Pacific Northwest dawn. These are times reserved for ghosts and
baristas, not normal people who without a doubt will wind up with a crabby, yawn filled day.
Alas, sunshine streams in through my window, and if I want any sort of social life at all, I shall
adjust and let the speedily lengthening spring days have their way.
Friday, May 8
7 -- 9:30 p.m.
Keystone Church
5019 Keystone Place N.
Film: The World According to Monsanto
Monsanto is el Numero Uno, the top dog, the leader in genetically modified organisms
(GMO’s) in the world! However, this is not something to be proud of. An extremely controversial corporation, the high priests and scientists at Monsanto basically eat babies for breakfast. Some of their popular and extremely toxic products include: polychlorinated biphenyls
(PCB’s) and the herbicide Agent Orange. And they make food too! Find out about their fascinatingly evil history so you can boycott every one of their many endeavors.
Photo by Dillyn kost
Dillyn Kost
Staff Writer
long the Pike/Pine corridor
of Capitol Hill, among the
dance clubs, cafes, and trendy retail stores, sits Babeland, a women-owned sex shop. Voted “Best
Sex Toy Store” by the Seattle
Weekly for nine years, Babeland
greets customers and passersby
with a window display of their
wares.
Once inside, the colorful array of sex toys, gear and accessories beckon exploration on
tiered display islands. Feathered
and leather items perch on wallmounted displays in the back of
the store. Dulce de leche scented
edible massage oils and bodydrip-able candles waft their hello’s to the nose from the right
side of the store. Several shelves
of books are arranged along
the same side. Around a corner
along the left side wall is the fivefeet-high by three-feet-wide shelf
that contains the Babeland’s selection of porn videos.
“Babeland is very conscientious about the porn that we
bring into our store,” said Status
Causey, assistant manager at
Babeland. “We pre-screen everything to make sure that the content is not racist, homophobic,
sexist -- and that there are not
extreme amounts of violence,”
she said. “Because of that you
can see that our porn selection
is not huge. We have between 50
-75 selections for purchase.”
“We have them organized
in different categories: the sex
guides, the gay, the lesbian, and
the heterosexual,” Causey said.
“A lot of the category heterosexual porn will have at least one girlon-girl scene in it. But there is a
difference between a girl-on-girl
scene and a real lesbian/dyke
video. It has to do with who it is
directed toward. Whereas Girlon-girl scenes are more directed
at heterosexuals - males and females or the male/female couple
- Lesbian or dyke porn is for actual lesbians and those who love
them. It contains actual lesbians
A
not just women having sex with
other women. “
“One of our most popular hetero titles includes the female director Candida Royale,” Causey
said as she continued her arms
reach tour. “She’s great. She’s
a book writer and a filmmaker
who makes porns that are directed toward hetero women. There’s
a lot of foreplay, more story-telling, and an effort on building a
relationship between the couples, instead of the ‘gonzo’ or ‘wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am’
kind of porn. She uses very attractive people in her porns. You
will not see the typical beautiful
woman with the sketchy guy in
these films.”
And on the subject of porn
stars with breast augmentation Causey explains: “Candida
Royale does use some women
with enhanced bodies, but those
women in her porns are often
balanced by more natural-bodied women. If customers are
looking for all natural-bodied
women, I usually direct them
towards some 70’s porn such
as Debbie Does Dallas and The
Opening of Misty Beethoven.”
“Another popular porn star
and filmmaker is Joanna Angel,”
Causey said and picked up a video with a picture on the cover of a
black haired woman with tattoos
and piercings dressed in a punk
rock style. “She attracts porn
viewers who are younger, edgy
folks. They don’t just make the
stereotypical film in some hotel
room, they put time and energy
into making it a certain style.”
“Tristan Taormino is another
popular sex educator and director,” Causey said and picked up
a video with a cover of a group of
smiling young adults. “She sets
up her videos like the MTV Real
World series-- like with people
hanging out in a nice house in
Mexico. They have interviews
and stuff like that. And whatever happens, happens. It’s more
‘gonzo’ style: lots of sex scenes
and not so much actual story
line.”
Along the more amateur line,
Causey picks up a Comstock
film. “They are made with real
life couples,” Causey said. “So
you get to see them having sex
along with background interviews of how they met, what gets
them off, what attracts them to
each other. It is interesting for
people who are into how relationships are built.”
Along with their effort to serve
all populations, Babeland also
carries gay male porn. “Chi Chi
LaRue is one of our most popular gay male porn filmmakers,”
Causey said. “We still are conscientious with selecting gay porn
and screen the videos for sexist
or homophobic content.”
“We have ‘trans ‑ men’ (edtranssexual) porn, too,” Causey
said. “However, appropriate
‘trans women’ porn is harder to
find due to the emphasis on the
‘gawk’ factor issue. Many people
just want to watch this out of curiosity for what the ‘trans female’
looks like.”
The tour of the videos ended
on the top shelf -- the education section “On the sex education shelf we have long-time sex
educators, like Nina Hartley,”
Causey said. “We also have
education films like Bend over
Boyfriend, A series that delves
into the arena of female strapons and pleasing their men with
anal sex techniques.”
From7—8p.m.onWednesday,
June 17, Babeland will host a free
“Porn Night” event “showcasing some of their favorite porn
clips, highlighting female directors, professional films starring
real couples, and movies deserving an Oscar nod,” according
to their website. Babeland also
hosts other events, workshops,
private parties, and ‘appointment only’ private shopping,
which you can learn more about
at www.babeland.com.
Saturday, May 9
10 a.m. -- 12 p.m.
Ecohaus
13131 N.E. 20th St Bellevue
Learn: Toy Testing and Presentation
Perhaps you’ve heard about those kids who got sick and now have half a brain thanks to those
nasty cheap Chinese toys they were sucking on, or that lady who almost lost her arm after
cleaning her toilet with some new sparkly one-swish toilet cleaner. Well, you can find out how
dangerous your home is for yourself and your wee ones with the concerned people at The
Washington Toxics Colatition. They invite you to bring three to five household products, especially toys, to be tested for toxic chemicals at this free community event.
Saturday, May 9
5 -- 9 p.m.
Museum of History and Industry
2700 24th Ave.
Film: The New Narrative: Local Voices for a Global Future
The Global Oneness Project is presenting this free film event recognizing the role of local
communities in global change. They will show superbly moving and awesome films, have an
interactive “café-style” conversation (I’m clueless as to the true definition of this style… maybe
everyone has one hand around a latte?), and guest speakers will include a dude from Watts,
the notorious LA neighborhood, and a really good filmmaker, Emmanuel Vaughan-Lee. No
tickets or RSVP’s means arrive early to ensure that you get a seat.
Friday, May 15
12:30 -- 2:30 p.m.
Room 818, Music Building
Concert: Student Recital
Once again, those noisy music students in the 800 building will be gathering with their instruments big and small to play their hearts out for you non-musically skilled people, and other
music students as well. Support local music! Listen and love.
Friday, May 15 & Saturday, May 16
Thursday, May 21 -- Saturday, May 23
7:30 p.m.
Campus Theatre
Musical: “The Secret Garden”
See non-sexual A&E page for all the secret details…
Monday, May 18
8 p.m.
Chop Suey
Gathering: The 12th Annual HIV Vaccine Awareness Day
This annual observance is dedicated to recognizing the thousands of volunteers, community
members, health professionals, and scientists who are working together to find a safe and effective HIV vaccine. It’s also a time to educate the public on the importance of preventive HIV
vaccine research and to… dance! So, head on over to Chop Suey to hear NYC’s legendary DJ
Miss Guy, and DJ’s Colby B and Ponyboy. Also on the FREE bill, performances by Ade & Ben
de la Crème and fashions by Art Star. The event is 21 and up…
Thursday, May 21
11:30 a.m. -- 1:30 p.m.
PUB Room 9208
Drama: “Within the Silence: Share the Courage”
To commemorate Asian Pacific Islander History Month, Living Voices, a local drama group
is presenting a play. “Within the Silence: Share the Courage” is a drama about Roosevelt’s
ordered imprisonment of thousands of loyal Asian families in 1942. Watch while the actors
show us how one Japanese American family fought to sustain faith and love throughout the
incarceration.
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
12
The Lady Lacks Luster: You get what you pay for
Dan DeMay
Distribution Manager
’ll tell you what, let me see some ID and admission’s free,” is the greeting we receive after strolling under the brightly-lit sign on 1st Ave.
reading: The Lusty Lady.
Appropriately set next to the Four Seasons
Hotel in downtown Seattle, the club is dark, dirty,
and somehow, a major draw for a constant flow of
traffic from the street. Perhaps the marquee with
its coy phrases such as “Happy Spanksgiving”
lures all this traffic in.
The “club” if it can be called that, is a real-life,
honest to goodness peep show theatre. On a payby-the-minute ($1 per minute) basis, attendees
can step into a small booth and insert dollars to
watch the show through a slide up window. Not
exactly private, you can easily see if a booth is occupied by looking under each half-wall to check
for feet, or a falling tissue. The booths have both
one-way and two-way mirrors depending on if
you’d like to be seen by the dancers, or not. On
a wall opposite these booths, a box of tissues is
close at hand for those moments of dripping
enthusiasm.
The man at the door offers us change and I take
five singles, not knowing how much I may want
to spend in such a glamorous joint. Just past the
doorman’s post, a “menu” of dancers complete
with pictures is posted on the wall offering a selection for private booths should you find the
“I
need to get some more face time with one of the
girls.
After a quick check for feet in a one-way booth,
I step in and stab a dollar in the machine for my
first minutes of titillation. The window slides
open to reveal a well-lit room carpeted in red velvet and mirrored all around. From my vantage, I
see first the dancer directly in front of me, who
advances toward the opening window. Others
dance nearby, each focused on their respective
window, and I can see some faces of those in twoway booths enjoying the show.
The girls look thirty-something, or older, and
move with an air of indifference as they bob
and gyrate in front of the windows. High heels,
stretch marks; rough and tumble is the standard
for these ladies. My girl seems practiced at feigning eye contact and interest as she shudders and
shakes before drawing close to conclude with the
full spread.
*PLEASE INSERT A DOLLAR TO CONTINUE
READING*
Have you ever woke up next to someone in
those first gray hours of dawn and felt so filthy
that you had an urgent need to scrub your body
with a piece of pumice to regain some dignity?
That’s about the gist of what I’m feeling as I walk
out of the booth.
Back in the hallway, men seem to
come and go (no pun intended) from the
booths with eager anticipation. A couple
of young men search for the change machine and seem to have no idea what
they are in for.
If you were to head down the other
hall, there are both private dance booths
as well as video booths where you can
observe, in a bit more privacy, many of
the same dancers strutting their stuff in
locally produced films.
The club, along with its sister theatre
in San Francisco, has been open since
the 1970’s and moved to its home near
Pike Place Market in 1985. Originally,
The Amusement Center, as it was first
named, showed only peep show films.
It wasn’t until 1983 that live dancers
were added and then became the focus
of both the Seattle and San Francisco
businesses.
Bill Gates step-mother is said to
have called the Lusty Lady’s marquee a
“Seattle landmark,” and I must agree,
however seedy the innards of the building may be. But don’t let me steer you astray, this
is one Seattle landmark that commands a closer
look, for only a dollar a minute.
Illustration by David Gillett
A bubbly review of a dirty night
Ebbtide gals review a bit of Seattle’s erotic nightlife
Amelia Rivera & Kaiya Hubbard
& Taylor Dahnert
Editor in chief & Staff writers
A
lthough it felt like a step out of
time and a step out of Seattle,
Centerfolds is actually the only male
strip club in the area. A dark red illuminated room with a stage and runway surrounded by theatre-like rows of
seats filled with giggling drunk women
greets your eyes and ears after you pay
the outrageous $15 cover charge.
The five of us Ebbtide members instinctively huddled together in the
back of the room since none of us had
ever been to a male strip club before.
We wanted to be able to scream and
hide our faces should the occasion
arise. And it wasn’t long before the
first male dancer, wearing nothing but
really tight briefs came to dance on a
Illustration by David Gillett
long rectangular box set in front of our impressive. At the end of the second The other side of the
couch.
performance we even got a relatively spectrum:
“What do we do? Do we tip them?” sexy wiener-flash and we felt relieved
Dyllin Kost asked, but none of us when he stopped there and the third
Surprised by the ineptitude of males
moved. Instead, we squashed closer performer was announced by our cat- at Centerfolds, we decided to compare
together and screamed and laughed ty-slightly-jealous-poorly-skilled DJ.
it to a female strip club. Our best choice
hysterically.
Marc Anthony, a name we’ll never was to check Sugars, which is remarkThe dance was playful and sexy and forget, appeared onstage in a benign ably close to campus.
the party in front of us was getting cowboy outfit. His is not a perforThe difference was like night and
louder and more aroused as clothes mance for the faint of heart. The first day, not only because we were watchwere being strewn across the stage. two dancers looked unthreatening, ing ladies dancing instead of guys perAlthough the rules forbid touching but little did we know what this third forming. Where Centerfolds looked
the strippers, mock sex was repeated- performer hid below, and that in 10 like a small Junior High drama stage,
ly displayed with audience members, minutes time we would be face to face Sugars looked more like a club, since
and some of the ladies were really into with a massive schlong. It wasn’t ex- it was well lit and better furnished.
it. Were they the bachelorettes? We actly what we were there for, nor what The environment as a whole would
don’t know, but they were
have been worth a $15 covhaving a blast.
er charge, and for our peace
“How can I give him any tips if he
After all the screaming,
of mind there was a refreshdoesn’t have any clothes on?
our throats got a little bit
ment bar.
dry and we were frustrated Should I stick it between his balls?”
These ladies know how to
to find that there were no
-Taylor Dahnert do business; Although there
refreshments whatsoever
is no cover before 8 p.m.
available to purchase. Not even water! we were expecting. The crowd quieted there is a $10 cover after, with a miniWhat could be an incredible source of while we all screamed louder than ever mum drink purchase required for $5
revenue for a strip club was replaced before. Taylor Dahnert noted in a be- every hour no matter what time it is.
with a pathetic raffle ticket sale for an mused tone, “How can I give him any
Music-wise Centerfolds’ DJ lacked
unknown prize.
tips if he doesn’t have any clothes on? smoothness, abruptly transitioning
During the performance onstage, Should I stick it between his balls?”
from total silence to “Oh my God I
a look to our left revealed a curious
Wow! Is that real? This was no semi- need earplugs!,”Sugars’ maintained a
scene. All we could see at first glance sexy wiener-flash like before--his ma- seamless transition between dancers
was a dude’s head and torso thrusting jestic salami flopped up and down like and songs, and withheld awkwardly
and the back of a woman’s head crotch a police baton, and when we thought silent moments.
level. Our imaginations left us speech- he was done, he turned around and
The only caveat was that the dancless, but a closer look revealed that this pulled the curtain to reveal an onstage ers did not interact with the audience
was a private party booth where bach- shower. While we hoped he would at and seemed rather lethargic, except
elorettes and birthday girls with extra least cover his over sized penis, he ac- for one named Serena who engaged
cash could get their own personal lap tually started humping the wet floor the audience with eye contact while lip
dance. Our minds cooled down when and splashing droplets of water onto syncing “Don’t cha” by The Pussycat
we realized that there was no contact, the ladies, which by the strobe lights Dolls. Overall the environment was
only extremely sensual yet fully clothed made it look like other unwanted juic- ideally better, but we can’t deny that
moves from the guy.
es. Dramatically intimidating, this the dudes knew how to work the pole
The first two dancers were skilled in performance wasn’t necessarily for us, and shake their assets.
the pole art. Their muscle strength and and we high-tailed it out of there.
Reported by: Amelia Rivera, Dillyn
how they could hold themselves upside
Kost, Kaiya Hubbard, Macy Wood &
down on the pole with their thighs was
Taylor Dahnert
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
13
Secret romance: the music and drama departments grow
gardens of love
Triana Collins
A&E Editor
he
original
Secret
Garden
story:
The Secret Garden was originally a novel written in 1911 by
Frances Hodgson Burnett, an
American-English playwright
and author who endured poverty and squalor in the Victorian
slums of Manchester, England
as a child. After moving to the
lush and verdant Tennessee,
Burnett began supporting her
family through writing at the
tender age of 18.
The Secret Gareden’s story
is of young Mary Lennox, born
in India, and orphaned by cholera (death by diarrhea!). She
is sent to England to live with
her deeply depressed uncle,
Archibald Craven. Archibald
lost his wife, Lily, years upon
years ago, but still has not recuperated. He’s mopy and sad, a
total downer to be around, and
probably hasn’t done his laundry in months.
Mary meets her sickly cousin Colin, who is afflicted with
an illness so terrible that he
can’t walk or go outside or
be a normal little boy who
plays with G.I. Joes or defaces
Barbie Dolls. Colin is under the
evil Dr. Neville Craven’s care
(Archibald’s brother) who prescribes him “medicine” that
probably isn’t good for him.
See, Dr. Craven has some ul-
T
terior motives: if he can keep
Colin sick and hence, Archibald
depressed, he might be able to
take control of the glorious
Craven estate.
So among the darkness and
gloom comes Mary with her
shimmering little girl innocence and she’s like, “Yo cuz,
get your little boy ass outside
and play with me!” They hang
out in the “secret garden” (Lily’s
former favorite haunt, now a
source of despair for the grief
stricken Archibald) with the
earthly gardener Dickon, who
helps Colin get in touch with
his rootsy side.
The children become friends
and with Mary’s contagious enthusiasm for life and fresh air,
Colin becomes a healthy and
happy boy. Archibald’s fog
lifts and the family that was on
the verge of collapse comes together like Pangaea in reverse.
Amazing what a little gardening
can do for depression, huh?
he
SCC
“Secret
Garden”
story:
Yes, The Secret Garden was
originally a novel, then a movie, then an anime, then a porn
(probably), but at 7:30 p.m. on
Friday and Saturday, May 15
and 16, and Thursday through
Saturday, May 21 to 23 in the
Campus Theatre, the music and
drama departments will be performing a musical adaption.
A winner of four Tony
T
The stars react
Everyone’s a star, a winner, a showstopper! And so, everyone who makes
this production tick was asked: How
does the musical “The Secret Garden”,
resonate for you as an individual? To
help organize the wealth of emotions
presented in their answers, I have organized them into the following categories: those who feel life, smell death,
see it as a good quality work experience, sense transformation, just wanna listen to music, or were probably
high when they wrote this (jk!).
It’s all about the music:
Shawn McGrath – Dr Neville Craven
“The Secret Garden has some of the
most gorgeous melodies!”
Ty Cook – Captain Albert Lennox/
Dreamer
Photo by Dennie Chong
The cast gives Mariah Lotz a lift during rehearsal. Lotz is playing
the character of Mary in the play.
Awards, and three Drama Desk
Awards, the music is by Lucy
Simon (Carly’s older sis(who
is carly?)), and the lyrics by
Pulitzer Prize winning Marsha
Norman. Produced by SCC’s
tireless music instructors Susan
Dolacky and Charles Enlow
“A wonderful realization of a great
story set to beautiful music.”
Ella Q. Xiao – Child /Dreamer
“I love the life that rises throughout
the songs.”
Death is dear and near:
Kate Wyatt – Mrs. Medlock
“It’s about the many ways people deal
with trauma and loss.”
Dennis Peters – Lieutenant Shaw /
Dreamer
“You don’t have to be sad just because
someone’s dead.”
Anni Korpi – Alice/Dreamer
“To me, it’s how the ones that have left
us affect how we live day to
day without them.”
It’s off to work we go:
Karen Tomminger – Ayah/Dreamer
“An opportunity to get to know the
Random Secret Garden More Secret Garden
trivia you may need to adaptations:
know one day in your • Three different BBC television
very long and secret
series (those Brits just can’t get
life:
enough)
Film versions of The Secret Garden:
• The first was made in 1919 and
has become forever lost (fire,
Alzheimers, Nazis?)
• A black and white version was
made in 1949 with garden
scenes in Technicolor (so blurry, so dreamy!)
• The 1993 hit is the one we
probably all fantasized about
as children (and probably the
only one you’ve ever seen).
•
•
A Japanese anime titled
Himitsu no Hanazono
Radio plays, paper dolls, cookbooks, the list is tremendously
long, probably due to the fact
that the book’s copyright expired in 1987 in the US, placing
the story in public domain!
(who teach the classes required
to participate, MUSC 164,
165, and 166: Musical Theatre
Performance), and directed by
drama teacher Todd Licea, it’s
sure to be a hit not to be missed,
and it’s only $8 with your student ID.
A production like this takes
tons of people. You need actors,
singers, producers, a choreographer, director, conductor,
sound designer, costumer, whip
holder, the list goes on and on.
Okay so maybe there’s no whip
holder, but after having gone to
one of the rehearsals, it seems
like there has been. These people have been practicing hard
everyday for hours since the
quarter began. Everyday! For
hours! So come show time, you
can be assured that they will be
GOOD.
people in the music department.”
Amelia Rivera – Claire Holmes/
Dreamer
“I prefer more lively musicals, but this
is challenging and that’s good.”
Allyson Christianson – Mrs. Winthrop
/ Mrs. Shelley / Dreamer
“I’m so grateful to be a part of this
production.”
Andrew Guthrie- stage hand
“Great
opportunity
to
get
experience.”
Jess Ekegren – Rose Lennox /
Dreamer
“It’s real and magical. Young and old
can connect with it.”
Healing Gardens:
Jim Lewis – Major Holmes/Dreamer
“It shows how bonding with others transforms negative, unhealthy
situations.”
Todd Licea – Director
“Regeneration and healing are natural. We are all a part of this Earth.”
Teresa Metzger-Howe – Conductor
Life and Light:
Brent Byhre‑Dickon
“Touching story about moving forward and survival.”
Ann-Marie Caldwell – Musician: keyboard and synthesizer
“Hope and beauty bring light to the
darkened soul.”
Paul Heffner – Colin Craven
“A story about how two sad people
make friends.”
Jackie Ingham – Assistant Stage
Photo by Dennie Chong
Anni Korppi, Jessica Ekergren, and Ty Cook work on a music scene from
"The Secret Garden."
Manager
“My new found family and finding
my spot in it.”
Stephen Jones – Archibald Craven
“Artistically, I find justice, believing in
the beauty of this creative process.”
Miranda Troutt – Fakir/Dreamer
“Very powerful messages about nature, faith, and hope. Inspiring.”
“Nature and love are powerful
healers.”
Ksenia Popova – Lilly
“The ultimate connection between
Earth, life, and those who’ve passed.”
Tim Redden – Ben Weatherstaff
“The show demonstrates the healing
power of having a purpose in life.”
Are you high?
Carl Bronsdon – Show Designer
– Costumes/Sets
“A Maze, Pathways, Boundaries,
Walls, Confinement, A Solution,
Escape.”
Andy Chan – Lieutenant Wright/
Dreamer
“There is a reality inside this mirror.”
John Nold – Stage Manager
“AAAAHHHH!”
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
SPORTS
14
Shoreline softball winds up for postseason
Lavi Aulck
“When we played them the first
“I think we just need to play our
Sports Editor
time (this year), we were playing for game and we can win,” Surface said.
CC softball has clinched a spot first place in the division and it was a “I know we can beat Bellevue and do
in the 2009 Northwest Athletic high energy game,” Swehla said. “We well in the playoffs – we just need to
Association of Community Colleges had some trouble offensively and just play how we play.” Despite any inju(NWAACC) playoffs and will look to didn’t get enough clutch hits.”
ries, Swehla said depth most likely
not only pick up momentum heading
Swehla says his team’s success both won’t play a huge part in the playoffs
into the postseason, but possibly lay against Bellevue and in the playoffs and feels his team is close to ready for
claim to first place in the NWAACC hinges on its ability to play a compete the postseason.
North division in its upcoming in all aspects of the game – hitting,
“We are a little banged up – people
games.
pitching, and playing defense.
are taping stuff and wrapping stuff but
The team currently stands 13-5 in
“It’s about how we approach the that’s just the way things are this time
the division – three games behind game (against Bellevue) and our mind- of the season,” Swehla said. “We’ve
Bellevue Community College (BCC) set,” said freshman Camille Deprew. “I played well against good team so hopefor first place in the division and two think it’ll be different this time around fully that is something we call fall back
games ahead of Everett “I feel like I have a personal relationship on. As a group, we are not
Community College
uncomfortable with this
(ECC). The team had with every girl on the field. – something
level of play – we actually
two games against I haven’t had with any other team I’ve
seem to play better against
ECC rained out on
better competition.”
been on.”
May 5 but does have
To help the team be
‑Brittanie Thibodeaux more familiar with some
two games against
BCC scheduled on the weekend of May now that we’ve seen them once and I of the playoff teams, Swehla scheduled
9-10 before playoffs begin May 15.
don’t think they can beat us if we play SCC’s non-conference games against
“The one hurdle we need to over- our best.”
some of the NWAACC’s toughest comcome is that we haven’t beaten
Depew has held the proverbial “big petition. Swehla says this will not only
Bellevue,” Head Coach Lance Swehla stick” on offense for much of the sea- allow for the players to make individusaid. “That’s one thing that I think as a son. Depew has a team-leading .446 al adjustments, but will allow the team
team and as a program, we need to ac- average while accounting for more to make adjustments to their overall
complish because they’re at the top of hits (37), runs (32), and home runs (8) gameplan.
the food chain right now and you have than any other player on the team.
“We’ve played everyone so we’ll have
to go test yourself against those types
Sophomore Athea Surface, mean- a bit of a book on them and, dependof teams.”
while, said the team’s success in the ing on who we play, we’ll have a phiIn fact, Shoreline hasn’t notched a postseason will depend on the team’s losophy,” Swehla said. “We (begin the
win against BCC in 18 games dating ability play within itself and stick to its playoffs) against the NWAACC South
back to May 13 of 2004, including gameplan. Surface has had to shoul- division and, historically, it’s been
two losses at the hands of Bellevue on der much of the team’s pitching du- the strongest conference. The past 10
April 21 of this year. Even so, SCC has ties after fellow starting pitcher Emma champions have come from that divimade the postseason for the past three Snow fell to a season-ending shoulder sion so it’s going to be a tall order for
seasons.
injury.
game one.”
No matter how the team does, sophomore catcher Brittanie Thibodeaux
says the season has been special.
Thibodeaux, the team’s catcher for the
past two seasons who won all-division
honors last season, likens the team to
a family more than anything.
“This is one of the most fun teams,
most family-like teams I’ve been on,”
Thibodeaux said. “I mean it down
S
Earn Your
Human Services BA
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Make a difference
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• Advocacy for Victims of Child Abuse, Domestic
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Photo by Dennie Chong
Athea Surface throws a strike in a game versus Skagit Valley College. Surface
and the SCC Dolphins won the first, but lost the second of the doubleheader
against SVC.
to the nitty-gritty. Your parents (the
coaches) might yell at you or you might
hate your brother or sister one day but
you know that if someone picks on
them, you have their back. We always
have each other’s backs and someone
is always ready to back up someone
else.
“If someone does make a mistake,
we trust someone will come through
and make up for it. I feel close with every single person on this team; I feel
like I have a personal relationship with
every girl on the field – something I
haven’t had with any other team I’ve
been on.”
Impressive start turns to questionable season
Aaron Hunter
Staff Writer
f anyone knows the importance of
consistency through a whole season,
it’s Shoreline Community College’s
baseball team.
After starting the season at an impressive 10-0, the Dolphins hit a bump
in the road and have only won three of
their last 26 games, leaving them at a
less impressive record of 13-23. The
reason for the increase in losses? It can
be hard to explain.
“I really don’t know,” Sophomore
Catcher Griffin Sweazy said. “We started playing uncharacteristically, and
stopped hitting all together.”
Unfortunately, the Dolphins hit the
I
rocky road just in time for league play,
leaving them with a record far from
qualifying for the playoffs. Although
they won’t get to the Northwest
Athletic Association of Community
Colleges (NWAACC) promise land,
they do have a team goal for themselves
to finish the year right and keep themselves from getting last place for the
second year in a row by taking down
Olympic Community College.
While SCC began the year as one
of the better hitting teams, there was
a sudden drop in bat productivity.
Although there is no single reason, the
toll of losses could have had an effect
on it. At the beginning of the year, the
team was able to feed off of a string of
wins and keep the bats hot. But as the
wins began to turn into losses, it had a
dampening effect on the team’s mentality, leaving players looking to superstitions to get out of their slump.
With the team is trying to end the
season on a high note, they are com-
ing off of a double header in which they
scored an average of six runs, outdoing the combined four runs the team
scored in the previous four games.
Even though this has not been a
dream season for many of the SCC
players, Sweazy said it has still been a
step up from last year’s.
“This season has been more fun,”
said Sweazy. “Starting off 10-0 this year
doubled our total wins from last year,
so it has been better.”
With a better record than last years
five win last place season, the Dolphins
will look to continue rebuilding its success into next year, to improve again.
The Dolphins will attempt to avoid
a last place finish this weekend, playing four games, two of which will be
at the local Lower Woodland baseball
field on at 1 p.m. on Sunday, May 10.
(425) 259-8919
hs.everett@wwu.edu
• www.wwu.edu/hs
AA/EO Institution
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
SPORTS
15
Seattle sports show signs of life in 2009
Lavi Aulck
Sports Editor
fter the year of doom and gloom of Seattle sports that was
2008, 2009 has offered something beyond just the hope of renewal – it’s actually offered success.
For those that aren’t familiar, 2008 was often given dubious titles like “the worst year for sports in any city, ever” in the national
media and it really is hard to argue otherwise. The Mariners finished with the second-worst record in the MLB, the Sonics had
the second-worst record in the NBA for the 2007-08 season before
leaving the city for Oklahoma, the Seahawks had their worst season since 1992, Huskies football didn’t win a single game while
the Huskies basketball didn’t make the 2008 National Collegiate
Athletic Association (NCAA) tournament or the 2008 National
Invitational Tournament (NIT). Only the Storm actually had anything resembling a positive season, but that ended in a first round
upset in the WNBA playoffs.
2009, however, has gone a long way to wash the taste of 2008
from the mouths of sports fans.
A
A brief look:
Seattle Sounders
Not many predicted the Sounders to fire off to the start they
did, much less have the second-best record in Major League Soccer
(MLS). Kasey Keller hasn’t shown his age, Freddie Ljungberg’s glass
hip has held steady, and Fredy Montero looks like a budding star.
Above all, though, the Sounders have brought a Euro-style atmosphere to Seattle soccer from the March to the Match to the Golden
Scarf Ceremony to a fan-driven General Manger.
Seattle Seahawks
The Seahawks may have gotten the most dominant, NFL-ready
player in the draft in Aaron Curry. TJ Houshmandzadeh, Max
Unger, Cory Redding, and Deon Butler should also be welcome additions. The ‘Hawks season comes down to health and the hope
that the near-Biblical plague of injuries that ravaged 2008 won’t
show itself in 2009. Most fans should feel comfortable knowing
that lightning doesn’t strike the same spot twice.
Other
Husky football cannot possibly sink any further – it’s hard to
trump a winless season. Based on the fact that they can’t possibly
do worse, the Huskies should show some life in 2009.
The Storm resigned Lauren Jackson. While the team has her
paired with Sue Bird, they should consistently contend.
The Thunderbirds should also make the playoffs for the sixth
straight season.
Seattle Mariners
The Mariners, somehow, some way, have perched themselves
atop the American League (AL) West. Clutch hitting, starters
that are pitching surprisingly well, and a solid bullpen have made
the Mariners one of the biggest surprises of the young season.
Regardless of how they finish the year, the fact that the Mariners
have already won more than one-fourth of the games they did in
2008 is nothing short of extraordinary. Seeing Junior in an M’s uniform again is pretty nice too.
Husky Basketball
The Huskies rebounded from a disappointing 2008 season to not
only win their first PAC-10 title in 25 years, but also steal a #4 seed
in the Big Dance. Led by three diminutive, under-six-foot guards
and a beast in the middle named “Jon,” the Huskies went back to
Romar-ball and, in doing so, put the program back on the tracks
to success. Add in another top-25 recruiting class highlighted by
blue-chip prospect Abdul Gaddy, and the Huskies should start the
2009-10 season on a strong note as well.
illustration by Macy Wood
Seahawks pick up steam with NFL Draft
Miles Liatos
Staff Writer
he Seahawks continued their offseason talent search April 25 and
26. As you may already know, the
Seahawks were fortunate enough (or
unfortunate enough) to own the rights
to the number four selection in the
2009 National Football League (NFL)
Draft. They selected several players,
many of which have great potential,
and one of which is expected to play at
a very high level.
“With the fourth pick in the 2009
draft, the Seattle Seahawks select...
Aaron Curry... Linebacker, Wake
Forest,” said Commissioner Roger
Goodell. It was like music to my
ears, and probably to Curry as well,
who attended the draft. After Curry’s
name was called, his eyes welled
with tears as he embraced the family members that sat by his side. It
was touching-- I myself leapt off my
couch and let out a loud, unrestrained
“YEEEEAAAAWWWWWW!” But let
me tell you why...
As I said in Volume 44 Issue 12 of
The Ebbtide before the draft, Curry is
a player unlike many in the linebacker
position. He has displayed all the qualities needed to be a great linebacker,
and then some. Not only is he a great
tackler, but he also covers the field at a
speed that would make cheetahs jealous. His 40-yard dash of 4.5 seconds
obliterates the average linebacker’s
time. So even with his massive size
and strength, Curry manages to exhib-
T
it speed and agility. Expect to see him
making plays all over the field this season and beyond.
The Seahawks also drafted Max
Unger, an offensive center from
Oregon University and Deon Butler, a
wide receiver from Penn State. Unger
is a solid lineman, who weighs in at
309 pounds and displays great technique in his blocking style. He isn’t a
massive, bad-dude-with-an-attitude
type blocker, but he reminds me of former Seahawks center Robbie Tobeck.
Unger shields the defenders from the
ball and will even go as far as to dive in
front of defenders to keep them at bay.
Unger is a versatile player who can play
center as well as guard.
In the short-term, Unger will be used
as a reserve to add to the depth the
Seahawks have on the offensive line.
Given the opportunity to play, Unger
will likely be used as the guard or
even center position if Chris Spencer,
(knock on wood), goes down with an
injury.
Wide receiver Deon Butler reminds
me of former Seahawk Bobby Engram.
He could also be greatly utilized in the
slot, a position that Bobby Engram
crafted and mastered in the Seahawks
offense. Butler ran a 4.38 40-yard dash
at the combine, one of the fastest times
recorded. Surely, Quarterback Matt
Hasselback is salivating at the yards he
might be able to chalk up with Butler
in the huddle.
The Seahawks are currently crowded
at the wide receiver position. Pro Bowl-
caliber receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh
was just added to a group that already included accomplished players
Deion Branch and Nate Burleson. But
Burleson and Branch have had recent
injury problems, and re-aggravation of
these injuries could mean more playing
time for the younger, less-experienced
players behind them. If the Seahawks
receiving unit remains healthy, Butler
could be used sparingly as a slot receiver. Otherwise, we may be seeing a
bit more of Penn State’s all-time receptions leader.
The Seahawks selected four more
players in the late rounds of the draft.
Rutgers quarterback Mike Teel was selected in the sixth round, while Rutgers
safety Courtney Green, Oregon defensive end Nick Reed, and California
tight end Cameron Morrah were drafted at picks 245, 247 and 248 in the seventh round, respectively.
After all was said and done, the
Seahawks came out of the draft alive
and well. Not only did they secure a,
perhaps, legend-to-be in Aaron Curry,
but they also solidified some of their
weaker positions in the later rounds
of the draft. And in doing this they assured us that maybe, just maybe, they
wouldn’t again find themselves here
anytime soon.
Standings
Baseball Standings
Team
Division Record (W-L)
Skagit Valley 17 – 3
Edmonds
14 – 6
Everett
14 – 10
Bellevue
11 – 9
Douglas
10 – 10
Olympic
4 – 16
Shoreline
2 – 18
Softball Standings
Team
Division Record (W-L)
Bellevue
17 – 3
Shoreline
14 – 5
Everett
15 – 7
Olympic
12 – 7
Skagit Valley 5 – 12
Peninsula
5 – 17
Edmonds
0–7
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009
ETCETERA
16
Rants and Raves
Rave
To security officers Dan and Robin,
Thanks for taking care of my bloody
knee after I tripped in front of the 1000
building on a rainy Monday. By looking at the size of my wound when you
wiped my knee, I thought it was going
to hurt like sitting on a cacti with bare
skin. But you were so gentle that I almost didn’t feel the pain. It was worth
the “trip” to know that we have such
nice and professional security officers
on campus to take care of our injuries whenever we need them. Thanks
again!
Rave
Has anybody else noticed all the
guys outside the gym that walk around
in really tight pants tossin balls back
and forth? I’m always wondering: can
I like, sit down and watch? Or would
that be weird? Cause they’re like, practicing for something right? Some kind
of ball tossing competition for sure.
Maybe they would like an observer,
an audience of one. Maybe that would
make for some casual competitiveness, resulting in a full on ball tossing
game complete with bats. So I’ve decided: why spend hella money downtown watching the pros toss their balls
around? Cause you can watch free
balls right here at an SCC! Cause that’s
what we’re all watching, right? Balls?
Not butts. Balls.
Rant
Deadlines are so fascist. They inhibit the natural flow of the creative and
learning processes. I believe here at
Shoreline we should be more futurist.
Instead of grading on arbitrary goals
that don’t pertain to the real world like
multiple choice questions, how about
students present what they’ve learned
in a portfolio. A culminating exhibition-- because we aren’t all the same.
Rave
The technology lab is the spot to
be on campus. In between class if I
need to check to see if anyone thinks
my photos from that party last night
were funny, I can hit up MySpace or
Facebook. School’s way too serious,
so I gotta check my latest tweets to
see what my boy Ashton Kutcher is
up too.
Send us your Rants & Raves
www.webbtide@yahoo.com
Due to the overabundance of sexual content in this
issue, Love & War is going “family friendly”.
Dear L&W,
I think I hate my brother. Okay, so maybe hate is a strong word.
Shall I use strongly dislike? He bothers me to the depths of my core
like no one else is able to. I’m two years older than he is and we have a
younger sister, whom I love and adore with all my heart.
My problem lies in the fact that I’ve always secretly found him to be
annoying and repulsive but tried my hardest to be civil toward him.
Even as children I would stick up for him whenever he got into his
many fights, always ready to defend and protect my lil’ bro. But now
we’ve grown older and he still acts like a whiny, weaseling, liar baby. I
can’t stand to hear him talk (always about himself of course), and am
dreading making the annual obligatory birthday phone call.
He doesn’t call me, but I know if I don’t do it, my mom will get upset
since she’s been living in a fantastical, we’re-all-one-big-happy-family
world for the past 24 years. Should I trust my instincts, not call, and
save myself a stomachache, or do what the moms would like?
-Brother Trouble
Dear Brother Trouble,
Crazy
By Miles Liatos
Y
X
E
S
d
r
o
w
s
s
Cro
Unfortunately, we do not get to pick who are families consist of.
Why, if I had it my way, my mom would be the sole heiress of a trampoline factory, my father a psychedelic mushroom farmer, and my
siblings a pack of giant, long-haired Flemish rabbits (those things can
weigh up to 20 pounds!). I’m sorry to say, you are STUCK. For life.
Fortunately, you do get to choose whom you spend your phone minutes on. If your bro doesn’t call you, why bother calling him? It’s not
like he’s trying to reach out to you or keep your mom happy. As far as
the moms goes, you’re gonna have to tell her like it is and burst her
fantasy family bubble. The truth might hurt, but it’s better in the end.
Eventually, you’ll come together again, whether it’s his next birthday
or (not to be morbid, but anything can happen) his funeral.
-L&W
Dear L&W,
I’ve had a crush on my cousin since we were little kids. I used to
entertain the idea of a big white wedding with him on our family’s
farm. I know now that my admiration was a normal childhood fantasy that many playmates share. But I’ve heard that cousin marriage
is actually pretty normal and not the weird, hillbilly-ish drama that we
often imagine. Should I reinvigorate our relationship or let bygones
by bygones?
-Wanna B Cousin Kisser
Dear Wanna B Cousin Kisser,
You are indeed correct. Cross-cousin marriage (between the children of a brother and sister and their respective partners) is a fairly
normal practice in many parts of the world. While the US has laws forbidding it in 24 states (26 allow it!), Europe has no laws against it.
According to the news show “20/20”, 200,000 cousins wed in the
US each year and 20 percent of all marriages in the world are between
cousins. In some countries, including most in the Middle East, over
half are between cousins. One of the big reasons for this is to ensure
that property stays in the family. So maybe as a little kid, you subconsciously wanted your family’s farm to stay that way! So if you really want to stir up that youthful romance again, I suggest moving
south, as while Washington says no to cousin marriage, California
says YES!
-L&W
Do you have a question
for Love & War?
Come on, its anonymous!
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THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF SHORELINE COMMUNITY COLLEGE • Www.shoreline.edu/ebbtide • Volume 44 Issue 13 • May 8, 2009

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