May 17 - KONK Life

KEY REAL ESTATE
IN THE FLORIDA KEYS
KONK
Life
COMMUNITY
ON THE SCENE
Vol.2 No.20
5
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FUN TIMES
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HOT DISH!
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New Gallery Opening, May 18 | TWO MONKEYS FINE ART
ISLAND
VOICE
Got something to CROW about? KONK Life’s Community
Forum Island Voice publishes brief messages in the following week’s edition. Deadline: 5pm Friday.
Call (305) 453-6804
l ank you , KONK Life, for bringing back local
columnists like Kimberly Denney, Scott McCarthy
and Steve Calderwood. I missed reading them on a
regular basis. ank you.
l Key West Public Works Department had to be
smoking something while they striped Caroline Street.
l With the recent hiring of John Gearra, the new
incoming president of FKCC and the newly appointed
commander of Coast Guard Sector Key West, Capt.
Alwyn Young, both black men and, I may proudly
add, obviously two successful men who can instill
hope into our young black community. Finally it
appears the Keys are heading out of the 1800s.
l Monroe County needs to re-examine its policies
regarding dinghy dockage in the Boot Key Mooring
Field. Really, $22 a day to dock a dinghy is to charging
for automobiles to park in the City of Marathon?
www.konklife.com 3
I think not!
l Key West Housing Authority, leave the banana trees
alone in Bahama Village. Since when are fruit trees
illegal in Key West? A simple peaceful man has a
creative and healthy hobby, and you want to take it
away? Shame on you!
l Someone, please explain to me why there are
businesses that can leave their garbage out on the
street day and night? How appealing is it to want to
eat in a restaurant that has its outgoing garbage right
beside the front door. Isn’t there someplace they can
put it before the morning pick up?
e
UPFRONT
Vol. 2 No. 20
may 17-23
Published Weekly
KONK Life
Guy deBoer
Dawn deBoer
MANAGING EDITOR Jenna Stauffer
ASSOCIATE EDITOR Michael Shields
NEWS DIRECTOR
EDITOR|DESIGN
PHOTOGRAPHERS
Sheel Sheelman, Ralph dePalma,
Larry E. Blackburn
CONTRIBUTORS
Guy deBoer Key News
Louis Petrone Key West Lou
Steve Calderwood Wining the Keys
Paul Menta What’s Cooking
Matt Gardi The Naked Conch
Rick Boettger The Great Debate
Scott McCarthy The Gadabout
Kimberley Denney Bitchin’ Paradise
JT Thompson Hot Dish
David Lybrand KONK Reactor
Courtney Aman Let’s Get Physical
Christina Oxenberg Local Observation
ON-AIR PERSONALITIES
BEV ALLEN, PETER ANDERSON, GUY deBOER, BO FODOR,
STEPHANIE KAPLE, SHAUNA LEE LANGE, VICTORIA LEIGH,
LOUIS PETRONE, M. L. PRICE, MICHAEL SHIELDS, JIM SMITH,
SOPHIA SKOGLUND, ALICE TALLMADGE, RICHARD
TALLMADEGE, MATT GARDI, RICK BOETTGER,
JIM FERRIS, STEP WISCHERTH
ADVERTISING 305.296.1630
Marc Hollander
305.619.4414
Advertising Deadline Every Friday
PRINT-READY advertising materials due by
Friday every week for next issue of KONK Life
Ad Dimensions
Horizontal and Vertical:
Full, 1/2, 1/3, 1/4, 1/8 page, bizcard
Ad Submissions
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Send to production@konkbroadcasting.com
KONK Life is published weekly by
KONK Broadcasting Network in Key West,
Florida. Editorial materials may not be reproduced
without written permission from the network.
KONK Broadcasting Network
RADIO y TELEVISION y INTERNET
402 Appelrouth Lane | Key West, FL
33040
(305) 768-0282 Fax| (305) 296-1630 Office
www.konklife.com
KW Climate Action Plan
Survey needs your input
he City of Key West kicked off its
Climate Action Plan survey aimed at
gathering baseline information about what green
actions residents and business owners in the Keys
engage in on April 11, 2012. e information
gathered is being used to create educational
programs and incentives designed to reduce the
carbon footprint of the island of Key West. All Keys
residents are encouraged to go online to take the
survey at www.keysclimatechange.com.
INFO
Survey also found at following websites:
keywestchamber.org, keyslodging.org,
keywestcity.com
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Conga dancers wanted
Friday, May 25
he 12th Annual Coast-to-Coast Conga
Parade is scheduled for Friday, May 25.
If you like to dance in the street and want to conga
like a Cuban down Duval Street from the Atlantic
Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico, the KW Comparsa is
looking for you. It’s a fun event that celebrates our
Cuban American heritage. New dancers need to attend at least three practices to learn the routines.
INFO
(305) 293-0902
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Letters to the Editor
National EMS Week,
May 20-26
hen asked to describe a hero,
many words come to mind.
Adventurer, daredevil, conqueror, even an idol.
However, when asked to describe an everyday
hero, different words come to mind. Brave, selfless,
caring, knowledgeable. Anyone who has ever had to
dial 9-1-1 or be rushed to the emergency room with
a life-threatening problem has firsthand knowledge
of the skill and expertise our [Lower Keys Medical
Center] Emergency Medical Services team provides.
In honor of the selfless work our EMS professionals
give to all of us in Monroe County, we thank them
for their service and dedication. ere couldn’t be a
better time to celebrate these everyday heroes. I am
in awe of these unique individuals who thrive in
stressful situations, all while staying calm and performing life-saving procedures in the process. EMS
professionals are used to being on call and working
holidays all in the name of serving our community. ey are true public servants, which is why
they deserve special recognition.
is coming May 20-26 has been designated
National EMS Week. e annual event is focused
on bringing together local communities and
medical personnel to publicize safety and honor
the dedication of those who are truly on medicine’s
“front line.” We can’t thank our partners in EMS
enough for their commitment.
~ Nicki Will, Ph.D.
Lower Keys Medical Center chief executive officer
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COMMUNITY
NEWS
First State Bank Senior Vice President/Marketing Director Don
Lanman, Sigsbee Charter School race director Tiffany Pellicier
and Military Affairs Committee Member and Waste Management Florida Keys Director Greg Sullivan
Shuffle for Sigsbee
First State Bank of the Florida
Keys supported the Sigsbee Charter
School’s 2012 Sailfish Shuffle 5K
Run/Walk with a sponsorship. e
Sigsbee Charter School is a nonprofit committed to establishing an
innovative, engaging elementary
school that captivates student interest through a marine study, environmental education focus. Sigsbee
offers hands-on integrated learning
that teaches students to be stewards
of the environment.
No Name Key electric
contracts aprroved
e Utility Board voted unanimously of the line extension requested by the NNKPOA for the
existing homes/lots of interested
residents. Two contracts were approved to accomplish the extension.
No Name Key is an island within
Keys Energy Services’ service area
currently with no grid-tied electric
power. e contracts cover the construction of the overhead electrical
high voltage system and installation
of a bridge conduit system tol facilitate extending power from Big Pine
Key to No Name Key. No Name
Key Property Owners Association,
representing a majority of the 43
homeowners, has reimbursed KEYS
for costs related to line extension,
including the two contracts awarded
by the Utility Board. With these
contracts in place, KEYS anticipates
construction will commence the
week of June 11 and homes of energized by August.
e contract for the overhead
electrical high voltage system was
awarded to Mount Airy, North Caroline-based Pike Electric, LLC, at a
cost of $69,074. is contract includes the installation of a single
phase distribution system including
all labor and equipment. KEYS will
provide the materials, including 62
45-foot concrete poles purchased
using funds from NNKPOA. e
contract includes hand installation
of silt screens at each pole site in
addition to other environmental
protective measures. e Fish and
Wildlife Service has advised that
this project is not likely to adversely
affect any species on the island.
KEYS and its contractors agreed
to take the required precautions
outlined by the FWS.
e contract for the installation
of the bridge conduit system was
awarded to Hobe Sound, Floridabased Allcomm Networks, Inc., at a
cost of $125,010. is contract includes the installation of two fourinch UV protected fiberglass
conduits and associated stainless
steel hardware along the 2,250-foot
length of No Name Key bridge.
www.konklife.com 5
THE NAKED
CONCH
SAVE THE TEACHERS
DIVEST FROM FANNIE MAE
ould you prefer to
invest in our kids and
teachers, or invest in a failed banker led
company in conservatorship, whose
assets are comprised primarily of the
most toxic mortgage backed securities,
whose liability covers an ocean of underwater mortgages, and who could not
even be in operation if not for billions
in bailouts?
Well, you, my dear friends, are
increasingly investing in the latter,
while sticking it to the teachers and
our children.
at’s right. According to a recent
report (available on nakedconch.com)
I obtained from the Clerk’s Office, the
county (you and I) are invested in Fannie
Mae for close to $50 million. In fact,
over half of our county investments
totaling close to $130 million are tied up
in GSEs or Government Sponsored Enterprises — private companies backed by
our tax dollars. (at means they get the
profits, we get the losses.) In fact, we are
seemingly increasing the percentage
of our portfolio placed with GSEs.
But meanwhile back at the [Monroe
County] School District, we are facing a
$6 million shortfall and teacher layoffs.
Recently school board member Andy
Griffiths has been discussing a huge
reduction in bond payments that will
free up close to $1 million per month
of capital outlays in October 2015. But
no one, including Andy, has offered any
type of stop-gap measure to get us from
here to there in the interim . . . aside
from the novel idea of a tax increase,
of course.
So, if you think about it, dollars we
HAVE are invested in failed companies
that need dollars we DON’T HAVE to
operate (essentially federal debt we are
saddling our children with.) In the
meantime, resources we allocate to those
very children being saddling with federal
debt are being cut back. We have essentially created student loans for grade
school kids while providing them with
less of an education. Seems like we could
do better if we put the first graders in
charge.
Here is my solution. We divest from
Fannie Mae and use some of that money
W
to refinance the school’s bonded indebtedness. We extend the terms of the debt,
reducing the cost of interest to the
school system while reducing payment
and actually allow for an INCREASE
in the rate of return on the county
investment as opposed to what Fannie
Mae offers. As voters, we allow for more
of the millage to be redirected from
capital to operational so that we can
fund the current operating shortfall.
is would not cost the taxpayers
anything, replenish our fund balance,
and eliminate the need to layoff teachers.
However, this is not intended to let
the administration and school board off
the hook for their failed leadership. It’s
time to “Right Size” admin. at’s right.
It’s great we can pay these wizards boatloads of cash when times are rosy, but
when the tide goes out, their boats
should sink first!
We need to cap all administrative pay
at $90,000 and eliminate all pay and
benefits to the school board until the
ship is righted. If these wizards can’t
accept this reduction for the good of our
children, then let them leave, and leave
quickly. ere will be countless talented
individuals throughout our community
who will step up to the plate out of
dedication to the kids and community,
a type of motivation needed now more
than ever. We no longer need
placeholders but people who perform.
We can talk about potential teacher
reductions or teacher paycuts, but with
the mindset of whether or not it is truly
feasible or warranted. But certainly not
in the context that Superintendent Jara
Continued on page 20
6 www.konklife.com
MATT
GARDI
TALK SHOW HOST
www.nakedconch.com
KEY BUSINESS
IN KEYWEST
www.konklife.com 7
COMMUNITY
ART SPACE
EVENTS
Fine Art gallery opening, May 18
merging Key West artist Amanda Johnson and business partner
David Briskin open a new Key West art gallery, Two Monkeys
Fine Art, 518 Fleming St. in Old Town. Collectors and public are invited 6-9
p.m. Friday, May 18. e gallery showcases mainly oil paintings by Amanda
Johnson, which includes large textured
abstract paintings, landscapes, tropical
themed art, local Key West landmarks
and some figure drawings.
Johnson has a trained background in
Fine Arts, including a broad knowledge
of painting materials and techniques,
from traditional to contemporary. Her
works include various styles and mediums, remaining open and flexible during
the creative process. For Amanda Johnson, the foundation of her work is rich in
texture and depth worked on over several
months, an emotional expression whose integrity lays within its journey to
completion. e artist paints in her studio and on plein air and teaches oil
painting at Florida Keys Community College.
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INFO
Gallery director David Briskin, David@TwoMonkeysFineArt.com,
(305) 414-8396, www.AmandaJohnsonFineArt.com
Michael Robinson, Gordon Ross, center, and Skipper Kripitz return to the
Studios of Key West with special guests Vicki Roush and Bobby Nesbitt.
Gordon Ross ready
for second concert
of the season
ordon Ross returns to e
Studios of Key West 8
p.m. Friday, May 18, for his second concert of the season featuring Michael
Robinson as his accompanist and percussionist Skipper Kripitz.
“It certainly has a been busy season
for Michael, Skipper and myself. We
have been working on new numbers and
features for this show for two months,”
said Ross. “It should be quite the
evening!”
Special guest appearances by Bobby
Nesbitt and Vicki Roush will delight
dedicated fans and new friends.
e show will lace together a variety
of jazz, blues, show tunes and unusual
musical pieces (scripted with Gordon’s
signature style) and the evening will feature some wonderful Laura Nyro songs
plus a few Beatles songs.
G
e dragons took off!
ombrero Beach was the
spot for the Fourth Annual
Battle in the Bay Dragon Boat Festival,
May 12, during the Chinese Year of the
Water Dragon. e Awakening the
Dragon Ceremony kicked off the event
with a Chinese tradition of thousands of
years. Dave Condra (top fundraiser) had
the honor of dotting the eye assisted by
his Heron Cane teammates. e dragon
dance was performed by Puppet Masters
from the Boys and Girls Club of Key
West. Returning to start the races with a
honk of the conch shell was Mike Puto,
Middlemost Territories of the Conch
Republic governor general, followed by
a cannon blast from the Caysal Pirates.
Club crews (20 paddlers, steersman and
drummer) from Canada, South Carolina
and Florida made a field of 500 racers.
INFO www.battleinthebay.org
S
INFO
Show tickets are $25 ($30 day of
show) and available at keystix.com or
at TSKW, 600 White St., in the Old
Armory Building or call (305) 2960458.
8 www.konklife.com
KEY WEST
LOU
NO RESPECT FOR WOMEN
nLEGALITIES WITH
Louis Petrone
wo recent media events
evidenced disrespect for
women. One involved a Jesse Lee
Peterson, who was guesting on the
Sean Hannity show. e other Rush
Limbaugh on his radio/TV show.
Jesse Lee Peterson is a misogynist of the first class. He is president and founder of BOND of
America Group, an organization
dedicated to a conservative agenda
for blacks. Peterson is black.
Peterson recently appeared
on Sean Hannity’s show on FOX.
Peterson’s comments were to the
effect that women should not have
the right to vote. Why? Because
they vote for the wrong people.
He claims the root of our present
day problems was giving women
the right to vote in the first place.
Peterson goes back to the days
of the suffragettes. ey were the
women of almost 100 years ago
who marched for the right of
women to vote. Peterson says these
ladies were evil-minded. ey
tricked the men of those days into
giving them the right to vote. How,
I ask? Probably by lifting their
floor-length skirts and exposing
their ankles to the men. Otherwise,
I cannot conceive how.
Peterson also asserts that women
cannot make sound decisions.
A little digging into Peterson’s
background reveals the following.
He claims affirmative action is
reverse discrimination. First time
I heard a black take that position.
Normally it is a white. How about
the black people stuck in New
Orleans because of Hurricane
Katrina were lazy and immoral.
He is otherwise generally critical
of black people. He is quoted as
saying that he “. . . thanked God
and white people for slavery.”
Further, Peterson describes slave
ships as akin to “. . . being on a
crowded airplane.” He considers
slavery to have been a good thing.
He favors putting black people back
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on the plantation so they understand the work ethic.
As to women again, he believes
men have the right to hit women.
As long as the woman deserves it,
of course.
Query: Why does Hannity even
put a guest with this background
on the air? ere have to be selfimposed media limits on the left
and right. It is an affront to all
Americans to subject them to this,
and please excuse the description,
garbage. I can think of no other.
Now comes Rush Limbaugh.
e most heard radio personality in
America. More people listen to his
show than any other.
You will recall Limbaugh disparaged women during the recent birth
control controversy. I refer specifically to the female law student who
appeared before a congressional
committee in support of health
insurance providing free birth
control to women. He referred to
this young lady after her appearance
as a prostitute of sorts for wanting
free contraceptives.
In recent days, Limbaugh has
announced his formation of Rich
Babes for America. He claims it is
required to oppose NOW/National
Organization for Women. Limbaugh believes that NOW is too
far to the left and that a similar
organization is required to represent
contrary positions. He invites
women of all political persuasions,
however, to join. Liberal as well as
conservative.
Limbaugh appears to be for
real about this organization. He has
even listed it on Facebook.
Continued on page 19
LOU
PETRONE
TALK SHOW HOST
www.konklife.com 9
tropic
sprocketS
n
IN REVIEW WITH
Ian Brockway
e Hunger Games
inally, a guilty pleasure
with a bit of schmaltz
and glitter that I can believe in! I’m
speaking of “e Hunger Games,”
now at e Tropic, based on
Suzanne Collins’ bestseller. e film
has genuine escapist entertainment
with enough verve and bravado to
satisfy all.
Every anti-authoritarian teen
worth his/her salt knows the plot by
heart, so I’ll be brief here: ere is a
country called Panem. Every year
they have a kind of karmic sacrifice
to make amends for a past war, presumably a civil one. ey hold a lottery consisting of one boy and one
girl from each county and televise
the battle.
Jennifer Lawrence plays the
heroine Katniss Everdeen and, as in
“Winter’s Bone,” Lawrence shines
here. She is half Wonder Woman
and half Alice in Wonderland with a
seemingly indestructible body.
Lawrence’s character is smooth
enough, but the real charm of the
film is its satisfying vibrant cinematography, possessing equal parts
of a teen-age “Deliverance” (1972)
with all its earthy naturalistic
beauty, or a tween “Barbarella”
(1968) for its flamboyant chrome
interiors and costumes. Despite the
allusions to these controversial
films, there is nothing too provocative or upsetting here. Just a medieval cat-and-mouse chase and
melting-eyed sweeties against the
world. ere is a titanic bit of twilight here, yes indeed, but it is nonstop fun and the imagery alone, part
retro and part “Survivor” reality TV,
contains the best forgotten flavors
of 1970s dystopian cinema from
“Soylent Green” to “Rollerball.”
“e Hunger Games” does seem
like a pastiche at times, but before
you dismiss the adaptation, take
heart. e film gives credit to its
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predecessors such as “e Wizard of
Oz” or even the Apple Super Bowl
ad from 1984 without killing its
tributes with sap.
e cinematic references are evident from the very beginning. Just
after the credits, we are treated to
what are the best known trappings
from the aforementioned “Winter’s
Bone” (the tar paper shacks, the
broken crockery, an ash brown sky)
presumably as a nod to Jennifer
Lawrence as well as a symbol of the
apocalyptic lower classes. Not once
do the many quotes from past films
seem superfluous or out of place.
Everything fits together in a kind of
kitschy fun.
A highlight is Woody Harrelson
as Haymitch, a past survivor who is
an irreverent mentor. With bloodshot eyes and velvet robe, Haymitch
is a drunk Willy Wonka. Part of the
interest is that you never know what
he’ll do. I think his character should
have had a bit more to do. Stanley
Tucci is entertaining as a kind of
wound-up puppet in cyberspace
who functions as a TV host on par
with Robin Leach from “Lifestyles
of the Rich and Famous.”
Ultimately it is Jennifer
Lawrence who holds this dark
“Wizard of Oz in Wartime” feast
alive. e camera buzzes about like
a hybrid wasp andjust adores her.
She seems a Lucy in the Sky with
Diamonds for the young Libertarians of love among us. Spaced out
and emotional but driven to fight,
Catniss is a Marilyn Monroe Icon fit
to occupy any Merrill Lynch head
office with more than a bit of Ziggy
Stardust on her eyelids.
“e Hunger Games” is a suspenseful rave of retro images that
delight the eye. And although revisiting a nearly exhausted theme of
the hunter and the hunted, the film
takes a kaleidoscope sampling of
past sci-fi cinema and mashes it into
a pop art carbonated soda to make
the old seem new again for the visually-occupied among us.
Continued on page 19
10 www.konklife.com
key moment
LARRY BLACKBURN photography
go key west!
KEY
MOMENTS
Schooner Wharf’s 18th AnnualCinco de Mayo
Male Taco Eating Contest winner Billy Record, above, and
Female Taco Eating Contest winner Lara Rustkin, below.
12 www.konklife.com
may 17-23
The Green Parrot
The Heavy Pets
Hog’s Breath Saloon
John DaSilva
ON THe scene
FUNTIMES
The Green Parrot
The Smokin’ Tuna
4 Charles St., off the 200 block
Duval Street, (305) 517-6350
n
Thursday-Saturday
Jeremiah/Hayden 6pm
Friday-Saturday
The Buzz 10pm
Sunday
Joel Rush 6pm
Sunday-Thursday
Joe Bachman 8pm
Friday-Saturday 0525-26
The Disappointments 8pm
Sunday-Wednesday 0527-31
The Disappointments 6pm
Sunday 0527
Joal Rush 10pm
Monday-Tuesday 0528-29
Nick Norman 10pm
Thursday 0531
Nick Norman 10pm
601 White St., (305) 294-6133
n
Friday-Sunday, The Heavy Pets
5:30pm and 10pm Friday;
10pm Saturday; 5:30pm Sunday
Monday-Tuesday, Soul Rebels
10pm Monday;
5:30pm and 10pm Tuesday
New Orleans brass band blends soul,
jazz, funk, hip-hop, rock and pop
music with brass band framework.
Eclectic live show harnesses horns
and percussion. Lumar LeBlanc and
Derrick Moss, originally members of
New Orleans Dejean’s Young Olympia
Brass Band wanted to play the new
music on the radio while respecting
the tradition they loved. New Orleans
natives, the pair was steeped in New
Orleans jazz but contemporary styles
of music began to seep in. The university music program grads took the
marching band format and incorporated influences from outside the city
as well as R&B, funk and hip‐hop
Continued on page 17
The Green Parrot
Soul Rebels
www.konklife.com 15
with RALPH dePALMA
ON THe scene
HOT DISH!
AT THE GREEN PARROT with RALPH dePALMA
AT TRIBUTE TO ROBERT JOHNSON
Give your tastebuds a thrill
t used to be the home of the Monster
Sandwich, but it’s now something much
more intriguing! At the busy corner of
Grinnell and Eaton, Paseo is set to offer you
some dynamite Caribbean delights. Owners
Lorenzo and Shawn Nielsen have been
working together for 14 years in Seattle,
and now they have added a new dining
dimension to Key West.
Shawn brought us an assortment of
treats to sample. First was the Paseo Prawns
— six peeled Black Tiger Prawns sautéed in
Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Garlic Tapenade,
simmered in their homemade Red Sauce
(five levels of hotness), served over Rice and
topped with Fresh Cilantro. is reminded
me of really good New Orleans Jambalaya
— and even Gregory (who is not fond of
seafood) found it irresistible. It comes with
savory Black Beans, Jasmine Rice and their
Paseo Greens Salad; so at $13 it’s not only a
whole meal, it’s a delicious bargain.
e Paseo Greens Salad combines Crisp
Romaine, razor-thin Purple Cabbage, Julienned Picked Beets & Fresh Cilantro, drizzled with their House Vinaigrette. It’s a
perfect summer meal, fresh, light and delicious. At $4.75, it’s also a real deal, and you
can add Grilled Chicken ($3), Sautéed
Prawns, Scallops or Fish ($4).
eir Smokin’ ighs Dinner features
two tender Chicken ighs bathed in Paseo
Marinade and flash-grilled to a subtle
smoky flavor. en they slow-roast them
until they are flawless. is is served with
the Paseo Greens Salad, Jasmine Rice and
Black Beans ($12.50). e Chicken was
juicy, fork-cutting tender and mildly spicy,
perfect for all taste levels. Gotta tell you that
all of these meals are large portions are big
enough for two to enjoy. Get a couple
dishes and split them for a variety of taste
sensations.
en Shawn brought us their Caribbean
Roast Pork Sandwich — just one of 11
dynamite sandwich options — and it is
huge.
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16 www.konklife.com
Pork Shoulder is slathered in Paseo Marinade and slow-roasted till it falls apart in
succulent morsels. Add some thick-cut
Sautéed Onions, Fresh Cilantro and Sliced
Jalapeños and stuffed into a big roll, it could
easily redefine the traditional Cuban Pork
Sandwich . . . with a kick! TLC’s “Best Food
Ever” show rated this sandwich second place
overall in “e Best 10 Sandwiches in
America.” Another bargain, it’s only $8.50,
and I dare you to eat the whole thing in
one sitting.
e surprise of the day was something
that sounds ordinary, but it’s not . . . it’s
extraordinary . . . the Fire-Roasted Corn.
Whole ears of Golden Corn are fire-roasted
until sweet and caramelized, then doused
with a Garlic Mayo Aioli Spread, dredged in
Grated Parmesan Cheese and sprinkled with
Paprika. It’s un-friggin-believable and at
$3.95, I’m tempted to get a couple and
make a meal of just the Corn. You HAVE to
try it!
Paseo is easy to pass by and think it’s just
a sandwich place. It’s a lot more than that,
and I hope Shawn starts to deliver his great
food soon. Right now, you can dine in or
take out. e place is always busy and with
good reason. Once you try their offerings,
you’ll be back for more!
Paseo is open 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Wednesday through Sunday. ey also offer Fish of
the Day, Ham and Cheese, the “Onion Obsession,” Caribbean Scallops and even Tofu
and vegetarian specialties. No matter what
you select, I guarantee your tastebuds will
be delighted, and you’ll be back again and
again.
I really like this job of reviewing restaurants. It gets me out of the rut of the sameold, same-old. I get to try new things and
see what exciting treats are out there. Take
my advice and hop on over to Paseo at 1000
Eaton St, (305) 517-6740. Your tastebuds
and palate will be thrilled!
e
JT
THOMPSON
JT@DesignKW.com
FUNTIMES
LOCAL
OBSERVATION
THE DANCER
while his mouth stayed stuck on his
e Dancer
instrument. His music was sublime
t was a Saturday night and Duval
Street was busy. Half way along
and something was causing a bottleneck; a throng was stopped and
blocking the sidewalk. Even the
street was choked with slowed pedicabs, with drivers craning, and they
have seen it all. I had to see. I elbowed my way through to find at
the center of the circle of the commotion was a single small girl dancing inside a hula hoop. But by
dancing I mean mesmerically. e
little hula dancer had some moves,
seemingly creating a tunnel around
herself, supple as ribbon as she
trained the hoop from the end of
one finger, and pulsating the fast
moving hoop all the way down to
near her ankles and with a bend to
her knees she had it traveling north
again. Hips moving in a continuous
O.
Seated close by, and wholly ignored, was a skinny shirtless man on
a type of horn that he held with both
hands but its stem carried on longer
than his whole body and resting on
the dirty cement sidewalk it pitched
up at the end in a cornucopia of
haunting sounds.
Her hair was multicolored and
twisted into wide dreadlocks, pulled
back into a stiff ponytail. Her
clothes were tropical gypsy replete
with a sheer scarf sewn with a hundred golden coins, so that they
shook and sparkled like electric
plumage. She was so sexy she emptied the mind and filled the heart. As
she danced her face remained serene
like a confident child.
She played up to the passing motorbikes and they nearly toppled.
She out-performed herself for the
big trucks and the windows rolled
down and admirers hung out.
Grown men yearned to take her
home, make her whole. She nearly
caused traffic accidents. When she
did these moves her guy on the horn
followed her with his eyes mean-
I
and the little hula girl had evidently
danced to it a trillion times, they
shared a tangible communication
and even with her attention diverted
he could reel her back, so that they
were moving together, like a snake
charmer and his happy pet.
Repeatedly I dropped money in
their tip jar, an upturned top hat. I
could not walk away; rather I did
not want to.
Occasionally obscuring my view
were posses of brides and their
maids, and then groups of grooms
with their stags, usually someone
carrying a naked blow-up doll, and
most everyone smoking the local
hand-rolled Cuban seed cigars. Men
and women and some well trained
pets puffed the cigars. e sweet
heavy smoke mixed in with the hot
still air and car fumes. e unctuous
smell took me back as scents have
the power to do, to a time long ago,
sparking memories of when children
were encouraged to believe in
dreams and fairy tales, like the adventures of the dancing gypsy girl.
e
CHRISTINA
OXENBERG
LEIGH VOGEL photo
www.wooldomination.com
Facebook/christinaoxenberg
www.konklife.com 17
The Green Parrot
601 White St., (305) 294-6133
| Continued from page 15
through half‐sung, half‐rapped lyrics.
The band has settled on an
eight‐piece lineup. Soul Rebels have
brought the party to South Africa and
Europe.
Schooner Wharf Bar
202 Williams St., 292-3302
www.schoonerwharf.com
n
Thursday
Cool Duo 7-11pm
(Sam Ramos and Carl Peachey)
n Friday-Saturday
The Doerfels 7-Midnight
n Sunday
Latin Calypso Party 6:30-11pm
(Marty Stonely and George Victory)
n Monday
Raven Cooper and John Iko
Noon-5pm
n
The Real Malloys 7-11pm
n Tuesday
Michael McCloud Noon-5pm
Raven Cooper 7-11pm
n Wednesday
Michael McCloud Noon-5pm
Gary Hempsey and Will Hoppey
7-11pm
Pier House
The Wine Gallery Piano Bar,
One Duval, (305) 296-4600
n
Friday-Monday 7 pm
Larry Smith jazz, pop
and originals.
Sunday Showcase 9pm
Larry Smith showcases singer and
songwriter Johnathan Romano.
Jonathan recently had been dividing
his time between San Diego and
Las Vegas and moved to Key West
seven months ago. An award winning
songwriter, he looks forward to his
premier Larry
Smith Sunday
Showcase, performing his original ballad and
jazz compositions.
NEXT WEEK:
Singer Ali
Ferguson,
Pier House
May 27.
Johnathan Romano
n
The Wine Gallery Piano Bar
at the Pier House Monday 9pm
Larry Smith Jazz Jams featuring
drummer Skipper Kripitz and
bassist Tim McAlpine.
Bobalu’s
301 U.S. Hwy. 1, MM 10 Bayside,
(305) 296-1664
n
Thursday
The Ray West Band 8pm-Midnight
Friday
The Jones’ 8-Midnight
Con Leche
Last chance to see Con Leche at
Bobalu’s! Cleverly written original
songs such as “Keys Disease” and
“Square Grouper,” the band offers
new sound to the local music scene.
Saturday and Monday
Jettison Theory 8pm-Midnight
Sunday
The Doerfels 8pm-Midnight
Tuesday
The Nina Newton Band 7-11pm
Wednesday
Moose & the Bulletproof
Blues Band 7-11pm
Continued on page 18
CALENDAR ARTS
KEYS
dios of Key West, 600 White St., features KWHS Advanced Placement in
Art Student Show & KWHS Alumni Invitational.
St. 296-0458.
Drawing Classes with Giovanni Novara, 3 PM; Key West Art Center, 301
Front St., Upstairs. 294-1241.
Thursdays
Wine Tasting & Artist Reception, 6-8
PM; The Wine Cottage on Eaton, 930
Eaton St, Unit C. 772-216-5933.
Wednesdays
l Florida Keys Plein Air Painters, 9:30
AM; Joan Cox, 908-246-2043.
l Show & Tell Art Meeting, 2 PM; The
Wine Cottage on Eaton, 930 Eaton St,
Unit C. 772-216-5933.
l
Florida Keys Council of the Arts Cultural
Calendar, April 26-May 2. Send in your
event by ursday noon to the Florida Keys
Council of the Arts, calendar@keysarts.com
Key West Happenings
ARTS COUNCIL
l KeysArts Events Quarterly Brochure
Please check your listings on our calendar and verify your event information for July, August and September is
correct. If you do not see your event
or if you need to make any updates,
email your information to
calendar@keysarts.com
l Summer Classes & Workshops
for Kids & Teens: send us your upcoming Summer Classes & Workshops for Kids & Teens information as
soon as possible. Make sure you
have your listings to us a few weeks
prior to start dates to allow enough
time for registration. Include: Event
Name, Start Date/End Date, Start
Time/End Time, Location, Contact Info
and a brief Description. Send to calendar@keysarts.com
ARTIST RECEPTIONS & EXHIBITS
Thursday, May 17
l Walk on White Gallery Walk, 6-9 PM
Exhibitions and receptions at galleries
and shops along White St., from
Southard to United streets. Includes
ArtSpace, 1102 Truman features new
paintings from Marky Pierson; Harrison Gallery features new paintings by
Deedra Ludwig; Stone Soup Gallery &
Frame Shop, 802 White St.; The Stu-
Friday, May 18
l Two Monkeys Fine Art Gallery
Grand Opening, 6-9 PM; 518 Fleming
St. 414-8396. Emerging Key West
artist Amanda Johnson and business
partner David Briskin showcase
Amanda’s art. Light refreshments.
Monday, May 21
Key West Collegiate School Art
Show Opens, 10 AM; FKCC Library,
5901 College Rd. Lindsey Wharton,
809-3542. Thru July 2.
l
CLASSES & WORKSHOPS
Thursday, May 17
l Paradise Quilters’ Meeting, 7 PM
Dallas MacDonald Senior Center, 380
Key Deer Blvd., Big Pine Key.
Monday, May 21
l Reconstructing Memories with Marie
Bergstedt (AIR), 12 PM; Close Knit
Group with Regina Jestrow (AIR), 6
PM; The Studios of Key West, 600
White St. 296-0458. www.tskw.org
Tuesday, May 22
A Sense of Place with Frank Ortega
(AIR), 9:30 AM; The Studios of Key
West, The Deck, 607 Ashe St. 2960458.
Tuesdays
l Painting Boot Camp with Rick Worth
- Session 1, 12 PM/Session 2, 6 PM;
The Studios of Key West, 600 White
l
FESTIVALS & FUNDRAISERS
Thursday-Sunday, May 17-20
l San Carlos’ Jose Marti Weekend
San Carlos Institute, 516 Duval St.
295-7676. www.keystix.com
Includes “Jose Marti: Legacy of Freedom;” free tour & history of the San
Carlos Institute & Marti Exhibit; Coral
Cubana, choir concert with Virginia
Alonso & Andres Trujillo; Jose Marti: A
Musical Tribute, with guests of honor
will be former U.S. Sen. Bob Graham
and his wife, Adele. Governor Graham
will be honored for his role is supporting the San Carlos’ restoration.
FILM
Monday, May 21
l Classic Movie Series: Mysteries:
Silence of the Lambs, 7 PM
Tropic Cinema, 416 Eaton St.
295-4393. www.tropiccinema.com
LITERARY
Wednesday, May 23
l Free Public Readings with Frank
Ortega (AIR) & Pepe Carretero, 7 PM;
The Studios of Key West, The Deck,
607 Ashe St. 296-0458.
THEATER
Wednesdays thru Saturdays
l Finito – The Dream is Real , 8 PM;
Red Barn Theatre, 319 Duval St.
296-9911. www.redbarntheatre.com
Wednesdays-Saturdays thru June 2.
Thursdays thru Saturdays
l Home Exchange, 8 PM; Waterfront
Playhouse, 310 Wall St. 294-5015.
www.waterfrontplayhouse.org Thru
May 26.
MUSIC
Thursday, May 17
l Key West High School Band –
Final Concert, 7 PM; KW High School,
Auditorium, 2100 Flagler Ave.
Friday, May 18
l Cabaret Concert Series: Gordon
Ross – Return to The Studios, 8 PM
The Studios of Key West, 600 White
St. 296-0458. www.tskw.org
Fridays
l Skippo & Friends, 5 PM; Salute,
1000 Atlantic Blvd.292-1117.
Fridays & Wednesdays
l Waterfront Wine Dinner & Concert,
8 PM; SHOR American Seafood Grill,
Hyatt, 601 Front St. 809-1234.
www.keywest.shorgrill.com
Saturday, May 19
l Bobby Nesbitt, 6 PM; Tavern ‘N
Town, Marriott Beachside, 3841 N.
Roosevelt Blvd.
Sunday & Wednesday, May 20 & 23
l Rob Distasi, 5 PM; Tavern ‘N Town,
Marriott Beachside, 3841 N. Roosevelt Blvd.
Wednesdays
l Matthew Jampol – Classical Guitarist Dinner Concert, 7 PM; Camille’s
Restaurant, 1202 Simonton St.
304-1437. RSVP required.
Call for details.
FUNTIMES
| Continued from page 17
Hog’s Breath Saloon
400 Front St., (305) 296-4222
n
John DaSilva and the Midnight
Howl Band Premiere 10pm-2am
0521-27 DaSilva has blues running
through his veins. Born in Chicago, his
first job was as a bar back in a blues
joint where his older brother was bartender. Eventually he was setting up
equipment for touring
blues bands in exchange for lessons
from the masters. By
age 18, DaSilva
joined his first band.
Now he has his own
band and has performed with the likes
of B.B. King, A.C. Reed, Fabulous
Thunderbirds, and opened for blues
legends like the Black Crows and
Jimmy Vaughan. Band members are
DaSilva, drummer Stefano Rotati,
and guitarist/piano man Rob Peterson.
The Gardens Hotel
526 Angela St., (305) 294-2661
n
Friday The Cabaret 5-7pm
Michael Robinson
Sunday Jazz in the Gardens
Acoustical harpist Scott Marischen,
5:30-8pm
18 www.konklife.com
White Tarpoon
700 Front St. at the A&B Marina,
(305) 295-5222
n Afternoon and evening music
Thursday Lance; Troi Atkinson
Friday Jenkins&Lee; Weber&Gillis
Saturday George Victory;
Steve Gibson
Sunday Mary & Amy Lee; Raven
Monday Adrienne; Din Allen
Tuesday Chris Case; Liquid Jones
Wednesday Maasi; Jose
tropic
sprocketS
TROPIC SPROCKETS | Continued from page 10
Damsels in Distress
he Doors once famously said, “People are
strange” — and sometimes not very funny.
Usually I can meet a film halfway, but with the Noel
Coward-like title “Damsels in Distress” it is difficult. e
film confounds me — weird, flat, blatantly uncomic and
incomprehensible with sight gags so shallow and silly it is
almost unreviewable.
e film centers on Seven Oaks College. ree preppy
girls select a new transfer student (Analeigh Tipton) a bit
shy and reserved, but she is pitted against three vapid and
insipid girls. It’s best to keep one’s mouth shut.
Lily is surrounded by near mindless soles who only
seem to care about hygiene, the fashions of Nordstrom,
Ralph Lauren or Banana Republic (the only interesting
part of the film about midway) and perfume. ere is Violet (Greta Gerwig); the vivacious looking Rose (Megalyn
Echikonwoke); the Stepfordesque Heather (Carrie
Maclemore). Invariably they go on about clothes, suicide
and guys. is is done in such a way as to become flatter
than glass. It’s like, well, watching paint dry.
e film has one peculiar quirky highlight, and that is
the character of Violet. Gerwig’s dialogue is so stilted and
pseudo analytical with so much double-speak and
princess gobbledygook it honestly inhibits rationale. But
her character contains a few good chuckles when she
rambles on about perfume. As a perfume enthusiast
(pertaining to romantic letters) I can almost relate.
e trouble is the joke goes on far too long and ceases
to become funny. e way the debutantes chatter becomes boring and innocuous. Rose keeps getting her sinuses inflamed because of male odor. Really? So? e
jokes go over like a lead pipe. ere is a clueless geek of a
tap-dancer in the film with no coordination who everybody calls “freak,” and this isn’t funny, even if this is his
name. ere is a French character, Xavier, a sort of
human Pepe Le Pew (Hugo Becker) but his accent is so
muddled I found it too much of a cartoon to be funny.
ere is even a or, a jock type who doesn’t know his
colors. But wait. When the jocks want to commit suicide,
they are too dumb to do it correctly: they jump off a twostory building. en there is a toga scene with dogs as
lions that would make Rob Schneider’s movies into works
of genius. After “Animal House,” this scene is pointless.
I would get this film if it set out to be John Waters
material, but it’s just plain flat. It is curious how the college is shot with the three girls backlit in bright sun as if
they are angels modeling Nordstrom. It is reminiscent of
the horror films of Wes Craven. By the middle of the
film, I wanted Freddy Kruger to leap out. Fun!
If there is a best, this film is “e Gilmore Girls” on
amphetamines; at worst it’s just at its worst on par with
Gregg Araki’s “Kaboom!” and just as stilted.
I would have rather checked my mail for a perfumed
card and perhaps a bit of olfactory adventure far more expansive than this film. e
T
Minimal Regatta, May 27
Call to would-be shipwrights!
he 21st Annual Schooner Wharf
Minimal “Gotta” Regatta coming
Memorial Weekend. Each six-member team
must build a boat seaworthy enough to stay
afloat for the entire race course in the Key West
Bight in front of Schooner Wharf. e catch —
boats are made of plywood, fasteners, duct tape
and 2x 4s. Construction kits can be bought at
co-sponsor Manley de Boer at a “minimal”
price.Two categories of Minimal Vessels —
Kayak/ Canoe Design & Open Design. Competitors win prizes in each design group for
fastest. Other prizes for Most Creative Design,
Best Paint Jobs, Best Costumed, Sportsmanship
Awards and Sinker Awards. Enter at Schooner
Wharf Bar, www.SchoonerWharf.com
T
key west LOU
LOU PETRONE
| Continued from page 9
Limbaugh wants his female listeners to have a
place to go. He says his organization is for
women who believe in family, American values,
and not being told by faux feminist groups how
to think. I have always been under impression
women believe in family and American values.
I find nothing objectionable in Limbaugh
starting such an organization. It is right, if
needed as he asserts. My problem is his use of
the word “babes” to describe membership. An
insult to women. If said in the workplace by a
male, it could result in discharge or disciplinary
action. e term also reflects Limbaugh’s belief
as to what women are. Babes. I suspect if a conservative couple in the Midwest were confronted
by the wife being called a babe, the husband
would knock the one who uttered the statement
on his ass. ere are some things you do not tolerate in polite society.
Note I have not even commented on the classification of “rich,” suggesting the organization is
for ladies of wealth. is brings into play the 1
percent/99 percent thing. Obviousness of the
word requires no further comment.
I share Peterson and Limbaugh to show what
I consider less than respectful thinking of mothers, wives and ladies of American society. Terrible is the only way to describe their thinking.
e
Write Ian at redtv_2005@yahoo.com
www.TropicCinema.com
www.konklife.com 19
let’s get
BITCHIN’
physical
PARADISE
KEY NEWS
CRAIG MARSTON
| Continued from page 5
PSYCHOLOGY 101
GD Is there a website people can go to
find more information about hurricane
planning?
CM People can come to the city’s website, www.keywestcity.com and just follow the links. In the search line, you can
type in hurricane or emergency preparation, and a number of plans and links
will come up. Also, people can go to
www.FEMA.gov for a whole series of
links to the weather service, Red Cross
and local health departments.
Remember having fire drills in school?
ere might never have had a fire, but
you still had the drills every month, and
that’s how it is with hurricane planning.
It’s very important to have a plan and
know the plan and exercise it to make
sure everyone is aware of where to go and
how to react. e
the NAKED
CONCH
MATT GARDI
| Continued from page 6
does, suggesting he is only NOW “right
sizing” — coincidentally when we have a
$6 million shortfall, and not last year
when he suggested we had “cut to the
bone.”
Before we cut teachers or their pay, we
must remember we already did last year.
ose furlough days you heard about
were simply a way for the district to say
“you don’t get paid for holidays anymore.” at came right out of teachers’
paychecks. Also, if we need to talk about
paycuts for teachers, we need to talk disproportionately about pay cuts for
admin. Whether it’s a bigger drop in the
bucket or not, administrators need to feel
a greater pain from their own failed leadership! e
y first love is what ing her/him of blood that should
be targeted at the working musI get to do for a
cles involved. When we use our
living. My second passion is the
brain power, we expedite the
study of and subject of psycholprocess.
ogy. You might be surprised how
Second are thoughts we think
interconnected the two practices
about ourselves. We attract to
are. When mind and psyche are
ourselves what we think most
connected and used together in
often. is has many connotatraining, they become almost
tions in the weight training arena.
magical and produce results
For instance, when a trainee
which seem almost unbelievable.
ere are a myriad of ways to fuse earnestly thinks about wanting to
burn body fat and that’s the only
the mind-body link, but I’ll disthing on the trainee’s mind, the
cuss the most important. First,
dominating thought is body fat!
get to know your own anatomy
We attract what we think about.
— learn which exercises affect
An alternative to this line
which muscles you’re targeting.
of thinking is something I was
Let’s take the dumbbell curl.
taught when I was very young:
ere are several types of curls
depending on whether your palms Peruse a fitness magazine and
realistically pick out a picture
are facing one another or in a
of a model you aspire to look like.
fully palms up grip. is requires
Hang it wherever you’re most
total presence of mind and focus.
likely to see it more
When you are concenthan once a day. is
trating on the muscle
dominates your
under duress during
thoughts.
your curl, your brain
With these two tips
sends a signal to your
about how psychology
heart to infuse that
plays a critical role in
muscle with freshly
training, expect results
oxygenated blood
in weeks. By the way, if
which acts as a lubriCOURTNEY
music helps you focus,
cant around the joints
AMAN
FITNESS TRAINING
crank it up. is is
involved. is infusion
Keywesttrainer.com wakeful meditation I’m
of blood is referred to
as the “pumped up”
talking about here. e
feeling we get when we force the
kwcourt@yahoo.com
blood to that particular body
part. When a trainee does an exer- Courtney Aman is a certified personal
trainer and available for consultation
cise and does not know which
via keywesttrainer.com or subscribe to
muscles are involved, the heart
his daily tips or ask fitness-related
has a tendency to pump more
questions
via Facebook.
blood all over your body depriv-
M
20 www.konklife.com
BUSINESS
IN KEYWEST
KIMBERELY DENNEY
| Continued from page 23
Not in Key West. e cab drivers
want to pack in as many passengers as
possible. Honestly, if I wanted to stop
at four destinations before I get to my
house, I’d take a freaking shuttle. But
nope. ey want to charge you full
price for a solo ride, and then expect
you to wait patiently while they cram
the cab full of tourists. Hell to the no.
In my experience, I tried getting into
about four cabs, explaining that I live
here and will tip very nicely if you just
take me the fuck home. Alone. No
one would.
Here’s a tip: call the cab company.
at’s what I did and I was informed
that drivers are not actually allowed to
do that and I could report it to a sheriff (when they are not busy yelling at
civilians). is dispatcher sent a cab
to pick me up and I finally made it
home. After that I decided it is more
worth it to pay $8 to park my own car
than hail another taxi.
And I really don’t want to hear
about how everyone needs to make a
buck. is is a 2x4 mile island. You
can make it back to the airport in no
time. And let me tell you, in the end
you’re screwing yourself. My friend is
in the service industry, and he did not
tip the driver. I wouldn’t have either.
Can you imagine landing at JFK in
New York and your cab driver waiting
around for more passengers? at shit
wouldn’t fly anywhere else. Why is it
happening here?
e
NOW WE’RE COOKING
to force the goodness out of the coffee
into your cup. Five Brothers on Southard
ne of our favorite beverStreet (in the picture it was Two Brothages on this island besides ers on Duval in the 1960s) have a mabeer has to be Cuban coffee. Here we
chine where the settings are just perfect.
have our very own style of cafe con leche, at’s why for a long time there’s been a
colada and bucci, as you will learn from
line of customers every morning, waiting
anyone who comes from Miami and says
for its cafe con leches served by
ours is not correct. When I
the family.
owned the Cuban Coffee
e second way to make
Queen, I used to love telling
the cafe is the moka pot. is
people, “Well, this is not
little silver pot can be bought
Miami.” en I explained
at Five Brothers or online. is
more about our style.
other Italian invention came
ere are two ways of
about in the early 1930s and
making a Cuban coffee, the
really took off here. Here’s how
PAUL
first being with an espresso
it works. e bottom half that
ENTA
M
machine made by Italians,
unscrews is filled with water
EXTREME CHEF
thank you! So you underand
a screen that holds your
nwcooking.com
stand, there were a lot of
ground caffe bustello goes in
Italian immigrants working in
next with some dried cane sugar which
the sugar fields in Cuba in the very late
we can call demera or turbinado sugar.
1800s, and they brought with them the
When heated, the pressure gets so great
espresso machine, so that’s where it came it forces only the richest part of the coffrom. e type of espresso machine you
fee and caffeine through a tube into the
use can make or break the flavor, based
top chamber. is is an awesome style
on how much steam and pressure it uses
café that is a Key West original. People
Smell the coffee
O
would make a bucci with it for a little
shot to sip with a friend.
So learning all that, let’s look at our
ingredients. Cafe Bustello, especially the
one that comes in the black bag, is the
hands down best coffee grind for Cuban
coffee and flavor. Demera or turbando
sugar is not heavily refined and is a good
sugar, not bad for you like white sugar
which does nothing except make you fat.
e caffeine we get from the bean can
help reduce Alzheimer’s. e bean itself
and its oils have lots of antioxidants, a
good diuretic and can clean you out.
As with everything in life, moderation is the key.
If you enjoy one of
Key West’s simple
pleasures in life
like a bucci just
on its own, it has
only nine calories,
so you and your
friends can rest
assured you’ll
have room for
food without feeling guilty.
All the information you have read
here I learned from many people I met
in Key West and also in Cuba, so if you
are from Miami and are reading this,
well, I am sorry. But we have always
done things in Key West just a little
differently.
e
Eat local and always with a friend!
Aloha
www.konklife.com 21
KONKLife”s BIG SAVINGS are here!
Get YOUR
SAVINGS
here!
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SAVINGS
here!
FRIENDS GATHER FOR LOCAL ARTIST
SIMONE LASSELL
birthday party
at the Coffee Plantation | RODGER DAVIS photographer
22 www.konklife.com
BITCHIN’
PARADISE
THE BITCH IS BACK
hy does the
simple act
of landing on our little island have
to be such a damn ordeal? ere was
a brief period of warm fuzzies after
Mandy Miles wrote a column in the
Key West Citizen exposing a dirty
little airport secret: officers assigned
to patrol the passenger pickup area
were just a wee bit overzealous. In
fact, they expected you to pick up a
passenger without actually coming
to a full stop.
And oh, you better not even
open that trunk. Seriously. A friend
was confronted by an officer for
opening his trunk while his guest
made his way over to the car. But
his guest was not actually touching
the car, so my friend should have
kept moving.
So there I was at the airport last
week, picking up my sister for a
much anticipated visit. Since she
hadn’t deboarded, I passed the
pickup area and parked my little
Smart Car in the area designated
for vehicles awaiting a passenger.
e first three spots were taken, so
I pulled ahead, finished listening
to a Foo Fighters song, then got out
and stood next to my car.
I notice a tête-à-tête between
two officers, and one slowly made
his way in my direction. I knew he
was coming for me. Was I not
allowed to leave the driver’s seat?
No, I committed a far worse
infraction. I was parked in a spot
designated for group transportation,
and I needed to move.
Immediately. I looked
at the
three-and-a-half giant empty spaces
in front of my car and wondered
aloud if I could hold off just a
minute since my sister was due out
any second.
Oh, hell to the no lady. Move
your ass. (I’m paraphrasing).
On my way back, one of the
three or four spots designated for
those of us not making money off
of passengers opened up. I parked
and got out of my car just as my
sister hustled over and declared,
“I fucking hate people.”
Oh, sing it sister.
W
She was in line in the restroom
and, being the polite person she is,
made way so someone else could
enter. Someone who decided she
would just proceed in front of the
eight other women waiting for a
stall to get first dibs. To which my
sister put a stop. But still. What is
wrong with people? Oh, right. ey
suck.
Our return trip to the airport
was pain free because no one cares
how long you idle outside the
departures area.
Still harboring anger over the
unnecessary police state at the
airport, I totally blanked when my
friend arrived home after a long day
of traveling from Spain and did not
even think to offer him a ride home.
I was entirely focused on the fact we
were going to meet for drinks as
soon as he could drop his bags at
home.
en I received this text: Well,
now, my cab has circled the airport
three times to get more people. I’ll
be late. Fuck me.
Well, that stirred up a bad
memory and really got my blood
boiling. First, we were going to have
to push back drinks, because I was
thoughtless and did not pick him
up. Second, that had been me a few
years ago after a long day of travel
back France. In any other city in
probably the world, you leave the
airport, get into a taxi and proceed
to your destination. Alone.
Continued on page 20
Kimberley
Denney
@bitchinparadise
bitchinparadise@earthlink.net or
www.bitchinparadise.net
Tweeting @bitchinparadise
www.konklife.com 23