Children`s Memorial Walk Starts at 10 AM

VOLUME 7, ISSUE 10
Chapter Leader: Denise St. Pierre
OCTOBER 2014
504-265-0581 InEmail
address:
tcfnola@gmail.com
Dad’s
Lap
PLEASE JOIN US!!
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 12th for our 9th Annual
Children’s Memorial Walk
Starts at 10 AM
Registration starts at 8:30 AM
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Self Help
For many of us, the monthly meeting of our Compassionate
Friends Group is the only real healing time we give to ourselves. Helping
ourselves on a daily basis is critical to our journey in the grieving process.
Many of us find solace in books. Others find it in movies, music,
time with friends, meditation or intense spiritual conviction. Each day we
should take some time to center ourselves, to find a place of peace.
If you haven’t already done so, start with a quiet time of reflection
and search your soul for the key to your own solace. There will still be
bad, even terrible, days. The effort to help ourselves begins with knowing
ourselves and finding the unique activity that soothes our broken hearts
for just a little while.
Annette Mennen Baldwin
In memory of my son, Todd Mennen
TCF, Katy, TX
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www.tcfneworleans.com
MONTHLY MEETINGS
October 13, 2014
MEETING TOPIC:
"What to Do with 'If Only I Had'"
2nd Monday of every month
East Jefferson Hospital
4200 Houma Blvd.
Metairie, LA 70006
Time: 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM
On the 1st floor, adjacent to the
Hudson St. garage, Esplanade II
room
UPCOMING EVENTS
• October 12th – Children’s
Memorial Walk
• December 14th – WW Candle
Lighting
REGIONAL COORDINATOR
Welcome
We extend a warm welcome to those who attended their first TCF meeting
last month.
We deeply regret the circumstances that brought you to our TCF Chapter.
The Compassionate Friends is a mutual assistance, not-for-profit, self-help
organization that offers support and understanding to families who have
experienced the death of a child. You are cordially invited to attend our
monthly meeting (held the second Monday of the month). The meeting is
open to everyone and free of charge. You are free to talk, cry or to sit in
silence; we respect the individuality of mourning. Comments shared in the
meetings remain confidential.
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Denise St. Pierre
504-454-5078
denisestp12@gmail.com
NATIONAL OFFICE
The Compassionate Friends
PO Box 3696
Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696
nationaloffice@compassionatefriends.org
www.compassionatefriends.org
BIRTHDAY TABLE: We remembered birthdays in SEPTEMBER for: Kevin Flock; Carrie Gore; Joshua McNulty;
Andrew Martinez; Crystal Normand. We do encourage both you & your family to come when it is your child’s
birthday month, to share your child with all of us. You will receive a special birthday gift in memory of your
child. Roxanne Hergert is lovingly giving these tokens in memory of her son, Jeffrey Hergert. Bring that
treasured picture of your child that always makes you smile so we may smile with you.
The cake for the month of September was in memory of
Kevin Flock
Pregnancy & Infant Loss Page
My name is Jennifer Jonkers, I am 26 years old, and the mother
to two beautiful children. A daughter, Mia, and a son Connor,
who was stillborn. My fiancé Chad and I found out we were
pregnant in August of 2013, and while it was not planned we
were very excited. November came and we found out we were
expecting a baby boy. It was that same day we found out he also
had a two-vessel cord (instead of having one vein and two
arteries, he had one of each). We were told that it is fairly
common in some pregnancies, and typically babies that have this
issue tend to be very healthy. Chad and I felt pretty confident
with the information we were given, so we decided to stay
positive and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy. My pregnancy was,
for a lack of better words, tumultuous. I constantly suffered from
morning sickness, and in February I was hospitalized with
dehydration and the flu; I was exhausted. But every time he
kicked or punched me, it was confirmation that he was okay, and
that I was that much closer to having him in my arms. March 1113 I was hospitalized off and on for severe dehydration; his
movements stopped altogether, and although I did feel him twice
on two separate occasions, I KNEW something was wrong. I was
discharged on March 13 with the assurance that my son was
doing great, in comparison to the previous two days I spent in the
hospital. On March 16, 2014 I went back to the hospital
complaining, again, of the same symptoms. While the nurse tried
to hook the fetal heart monitor on my belly, I noticed she kept
moving it around way too much. After performing an ultrasound,
I was told my son was dead. Disbelief and shock hit me first. I
was only 36 weeks, he was going to be too small! (at least, that
was what all the doctors were telling me) and I was so scared. We
decided to start labor immediately, and at 12:30 a.m. our son was
born. His umbilical cord was wrapped three times around his
abdomen. I have never heard a room so eerily quiet in all my life,
and I was concerned about what he looked like. When the nurse
placed him in my arms, my heart swelled with pride and love. He
was 4lbs. 12oz. of utter perfection, and his looks exceeded my
expectations! All the heart burn was worth it, he had a head full
of jet black hair, fat chipmunk cheeks, and the trademark big,
round Locascio eyes. Chad and I named him Connor Michael
Locascio. After Connor's death I constantly battled with a bevy of
emotions: depression, loneliness, anger, and jealousy to name a
few, and I found myself becoming a prisoner of my own
thoughts. Until I found The Compassionate Friends. I have met
two beautiful, and inspiring women Mrs. Denise and Mandy,
through this group, and I am so excited to meet many more. I am
thrilled and honored to be a part of this pregnancy/infant loss
group, because not only is it a platform for awareness, but it is
also providing a place for mothers to know that you are not alone.
We are here for you!
Little Baby
Little baby who was not to be,
You were a person . . . at least to me.
Would your eyes be blue?
Or hazel and dark?
Would you caw like the crow?
Or sing like a lark?
Would you have ten little fingers and ten tiny toes?
A rosebud mouth, a turned up nose?
Would you be laughing and happy?
Or somber and quiet?
Would you run and jump or rather be still?
Would you like to read, or prefer to play?
None of my questions will have an answer.
Your chance to live will never be.
The only thing I truly know . . .
Little baby,
We would have loved you so!
Joan D. Schmidt
TCF Spotswood, NJ
Group Leader – Contact Info
Jennifer Jonkers
504-939-6096
sharpcrayon_019@yahoo.com
Connor Michael Locascio – March 16, 2014
NEWSLETTER INFORMATION
Sponsoring a newsletter is a way to remember your child at any special time through the year. You may
include a picture of your child and a brief poem, story etc. about your child. A donation of $15 will help
cover the cost of postage for the newsletter. Please make all submissions by the due date listed on the
child remembered page.
PICTURE BOARD: If you would like your child’s picture on our beautiful butterfly picture boards, bring
one to a meeting and it will be added to our boards. We are also looking for someone who would be able to bring
these boards back and forth to the meetings each and every month. Please contact Denise St. Pierre.
COOKBOOKS: are available for purchase. The cookbook is dedicated to all our angels and it shows with
the beautiful artwork throughout the book, along with the delicious, home-style recipes. Each recipe has a
special meaning for a special angel. It will definitely bring back warm and love filled memories of our
angels. The cookbooks are on sale for $15. If you would like it mailed the cost will be $15 plus a $3
shipping/handling fee. To get a book please call Denise St. Pierre at 504-265-0581.
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Help Support Our Chapter by buying this unique pen that has a flashlight, stylus and is a quality ink writing pen. It is
laser etched with our chapter’s name, phone number and website. This will make a great gift for families’ and out of
town friends. The cost is $12 per pen. Contact Denise or Duffy St. Pierre 265-0581 if you would like a pen. Thank
you for your support of our chapter!
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
ATTENTION: Duffy St. Pierre is the contact person for bereaved fathers who may feel the need to speak with
another dad. Men grieve differently than women and it may be very helpful for fathers to speak to another father about
their grief. Dads, feel free to contact Duffy at 985-665-6250 or you can email him at captstpierre@gmail.com He will
be glad to speak with you.
WEST BANK CONTACT: Anyone living on the west bank who would like to speak with a member of TCF you can
contact Mary Adams 669-7731.
Our child’s birthday is still such an important day to us bereaved parents. Many other family
members do not call or acknowledge this special day for fear of making us upset. However, at TCF
this is where we want to be able celebrate our child’s birthday and remember the love we still have
for them no matter how long it has been since they died. Our chapter is now offering you the
opportunity to sponsor the birthday cake for the month of your child’s birthday. You may do so by
email or calling Denise St. Pierre. The cake must be purchased through East Jefferson Hospital.
The cost for the cake is $40. We can all celebrate your child’s birthday.
A BIG THANK YOU: to the moms for folding, stamping and mailing of the August newsletters. Thank you
ladies!
Dewey Brannon’s cousin Lucy Cain sent this note about how she came to write the following poem. “Absorbed in
my thoughts, here’s what came to be…for your group members, in honor of those they’ve lost. I am so thankful that
you are involved in this way. I’m sure your tender ways are a blessing to many, and I’m sure you are touched by
their empathy as well. Soon, you all become a “family” of sorts, a group of understanding souls. We on the outside
can only imagine. Your circle of friends are living it. Day to day, just like you are. Because they are helping
someone I love, I give this to them…and to you.”
COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS
Prayers for each and every one,
Situations arose that brought us here,
Within this circle victory is won!
Ones that swiftly made us shed a tear.
For day by day we have survived,
Touched by grace, in Him we thrive.
A daughter, a son, loved ones now gone,
To share the rays of Heaven’s Dawn.
Another step forward, together we go,
Strangers before, now friends I see,
Holding His hand, His love we know.
To ease the burdened heart in me.
Through others here I see His face,
A new face means tragedy has hit,
And feel His presence in every embrace.
When the loss is still so very new,
And in close circle around them we sit.
A common bond with different threads,
A Compassionate Friend will pray for you.
We all have memories inside our heads.
For they know the pain that’s in your heart,
And understand the feelings of being apart.
Some may share, others may not,
May we place each other within His care,
But we all can sense by faces taut.
A hug, a pat, a little nod,
And always remember…we all are there.
Lucy Cain 8-25-2000
Helps us all to walk the path we trod.
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When you grieve –
I’M FREE
You’re like a tree hit by a tornado.
Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free.
Some of your roots are pulled up.
I’m following the path God laid for me.
You’re twisted and bent.
I took God’s hand when I hear the call;
I turned my back and left it all.
Your leaves have been stripped.
Your bark is loosened.
I could not stay another day
And worst of all,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
one of your big limbs has been
Tasks left undone must stay that way,
brutally broken off.
I found that place at the close of day.
You will never be the same.
If my parting has left a void,
Eventually, slowly, your roots grow back.
Then fill it with remembered joy.
You experience a new growth of leaves.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss.
You straighten up and reach out again.
Ah yes, these things, I too, will miss.
But the limb never grows back.
It becomes covered with a natural scar tissue.
For ever after, you will be aware of the tornado
and the tremendous change it made
in your life
We hope we can stand with you in the storm,
that we can be there as you weather this grief and
as you look forward to standing tall once more.
Joy Johnson and Dr. Marvin Johnson
Submitted by Marie Hickey
in memory of her son Paul
Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life’s been full, I savored much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief;
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with meGod wanted me now, God set me free.
Submitted by Barbara Bush
in memory of her son Brian Phillips.
May your Halloween be one of good memories
and special treats.
Madison Joseph St. Pierre
April 6, 1984 -- October 25, 2006
Hey Buddy,
I can't believe it's been 8 years since your world and mine changed.. My mind
slideshows back to that tragic night.. Like an old time picture show the images flicker
through my mind, over and over again..
Who would have thought I could survive your loss and then your little brother
would follow you into the next life..
Why am I still here? Why did my beautiful boys have to go? You know these
questions haunt my thoughts and rob my sleep, over and over again...
Raising two toddlers alone was difficult as many have said. But, surviving the
loss of my two treasured children is far more difficult..
The only thing that keeps my head above water, in this dark sea of tears is my
belief, that one day the three “Musketeers” will be together again.. Sharing a smile,
joining hands and saying our pledge, as we once did.. “ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR
ONE!!!”
God, I miss my boys, so much....
Duffy St.Pierre
Happy Heavenly Birthday
Anthony Scorsone
10-14-76 / 1-15-99
Another Birthday without you here. You would be 38 years old….Not a day goes by that we don’t think
of you. Forever loved and missed by Family and Friends.
Butterfly – Butterfly come see me….
Butterfly -- Butterfly Flying Free….
You are always around us….Hugs and Kisses and love you always….
Will be sending up your balloons for you birthday as usual…..
Love you,
Mom – Dad – Jason—Jess---& kids
Erin, Derek & kids…..
Erin --- Derek & kids…..
And family and friends
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Kurt D. Fleming
3/12/80 --- 10/6/92
We miss and love you so much!
Mom, Dad, Chevin, Sara Jane, Derrick
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HOPE
My heart has been broken.
My soul has been crushed.
My mind has gone to depths I never knew existed.
Places where only God,
In his most infinite Love, could understand.
And even He could not console me at times.
But I am here on earth,
For whatever reason I still do not know;
And I have hope that, in time,
God will show me the way
And give rhyme to my reason.
So I wait in hope for a future
And a new beginning.
Kathleen Leeper
TCF Valley Forge, PA
LOVE GIFT DEDICATION IN MEMORY OF
LEE RUSSELL CENTANNI, JR.
10-16-42 - 02-23-01
What the caterpillar thinks
is the end of life,
the butterfly knows
is the beginning.
This year will be 13 years since you died. You never got to see your two
grandchildren - Max and Maylee. You would have been a good and
loving grandfather. Max and Maylee would have loved you so much. I
hope you know how much everyone loves you.
Your loving sister Judy Centanni Bonura, your brother-in-law Dominick Bonura,
your wife Marilyn Centanni, your children Tara and Kevin, your son-in-law Louis,
your grandchildren Max and Maylee, and all your relatives and friends.
Shawn Michael Rome
10-31-1978 10-5-2006
Hi My Baby Shawn. I hope you are doing well up in Heaven. Gabby, Daddy and Mom still miss
you, the ache is till deep in our hearts. I think it really will never away. I will never be the same without
you, not seeing you every day coming to our house to say, “Mom what do you have to eat.”
Gabby talks about you a lot and likes to know things when you were a baby and teenager. I am
still in my mom’s group. I don’t know what I would do without them. Your garden is doing well. Gabby
is doing great in school. Her birthday is coming up….October 6th. She will be 10 years old. My Baby
you have a wonderful, Happy B-Day. Look for you balloon’s on October 5th and October 31st. Dad say’s
Hi. We just bought a jet ski for Gabby to ride. Hope up there you will ride with us.
Always missing you! Love and Kisses, Mom, Dad and Gabby
Dear Dad,
I miss u very much! I love u very much. The family misses u very much!
La-La I LOVE U! I bet u and Maw-Maw are having a good time. Love u
and miss u very much.
Love, Your babygirl, Gabby
My son, my buddy and my pal. Another year has come and gone but the
pain still lingers on.
A day doesn’t start nor does a night end without me feeling this must be
a bad dream, to only wake and start missing you again.
So we will sleep and we will dream with the hope that when we awake we
will be all together again.
Your Pal, Dad
AUCTION
This year we will have items to auction at our 9th Annual Children’s Memorial
Walk.
If you have any items you would like to donate please feel free to do so. At
this time we have 4 restaurant Gift Certificates, an autographed “Drew
Bree’s” football and a bicycle. Any item would be appreciated, like an Igloo
ice chest, cookware items, children’s toys etc. or anything that would generate
a profit for our chapter. Please contact Duffy St. Pierre for arrangements at
985-665-6250 as he will be also be the Auctioneer. For any item you donate
your name will be recognized at the Walk unless you prefer to remain
anonymous. All donations are tax-deductible. Together with your generous
donations we can make this “Walk” our most profitable fundraiser. All
monies go to support our organization.
Our Children Remembered
October Birthdays
Adam William Conkey
Joseph “Joe” Sauvinet
Arnold Vead
David Wesley Uransky
Ariel Laforet Berry
Loretta A. Jones
Anthony Scorsone
Veronica Carney
Ann Roberts
Ana Marie
Patrick Guffey
David Joseph Sisolak, Jr.
Lynn Montalbano
Billy Montalbano
Katherine Phillips
Abby Bradley
Hallie Kathleen Espenan
Matthew Boudreaux
Gerard “Jed” Schulin
Peggy
Cherie Ann Tibbs Drumm
Troy Thomassie
Shawn Michael Rome
Paul Charles Fleming III
October 3
October 5
October 8
October 10
October 11
October 13
October 14
October 14
October 15
October 15
October 17
October 19
October 20
October 20
October 21
October 23
October 23
October 28
October 29
October 29
October 31
October 31
October 31
October 31
Benjamin C. Holtsclaw
October 31
Son of Julie Conkey; Brother of Alex & Matthew; Grandson of Janie and Bill Munch
Son of Sherry and Eric Sauvinet; Brother of Malissa
Son of Rosalie Vead Rodriguez
Son of Suzy and Bill Uransky; Brother of Amanda and Noah
Daughter of Lisa Berry
Daughter of Katie Cenance-Jones
Son of Nancy and Gary Scorsone; Brother of Jason and Erin
Daughter of Elizabeth Nicholson; Granddaughter of Dolores DiPasquale
Daughter of Enola Dufrene; Sister of Margaret Banks
Daughter of Carmen Sanchez Colon
Son of Maggie Guffey
Son of Janell and David Sisolak, Sr., Brother of Mindy Parrish
Daughter of Judy and John Montalbano
Son of Judy and John Montalbano
Daughter of Elaine Nita
Daughter of Shanti Poole
Daughter of Tracie Espenan
Son of Julie and Ronnie Hemenway
Son of Cynthia and Gerard Schulin
Daughter of Rosalie Vead Rodriguez
Daughter of Brenda Cooper
Son of Wanda Thomassie
Son of Kathy and Allen Rome; Brother of Katie; Father of Gabriella
Son of Courtney and Paul Fleming; Brother of Madeline, Caroline and Jake
Grandson of Gary Fleming
Son of Leslie Wolf Holtsclaw
October Anniversaries
Shawn Michael Rome
Kurt D. Fleming
John Craig Pellegal
Arnold Vead
Jacob Charles Powell
Daniel Charles Deegan
Reginald E. Taylor, Jr.
Ann Myer Walton
Christine Ann Adams
Lynn Montalbano
Ann Margaret Eaker
Abby Bradley
Mark J. Sidney
Madison Joseph St. Pierre
Timothy David Souther
Ryan Plattsmier
Korey Patrick Spindel
Thomas A. Arbon, Jr.
October 5
October 6
October 8
October 8
October 9
October 10
October 12
October 12
October 17
October 20
October 23
October 23
October 24
October 25
October 28
October 29
October 29
October 30
Son of Kathy and Allen Rome; Brother of Katie; Father of Gabriella
Son of Susan and Samuel Fleming; Brother of Chevis, Derick and Sam, Jr.
Son of Jacqueline Berger
Son of Rosalie Vead Rodriguez
Son of Kathryn Powell; Brother of Anthony
Son of Theresa Wilson; Brother of Alexis Wilson
Son of Elvira Washington
Daughter of Cindy Willard
Daughter of Dee Dee Adams; Sister of Robin
Daughter of Judy and John Montalbano
Daughter of Helene Toney
Daughter of Shanti Poole
Son of Shirley Lundy-Connor
Son of Duffy St. Pierre
Son of Lisa Winstell; Brother of Jennifer and David Durnin
Son of Randy and Mary Ann Plattsmier
Son of Judy and Keith, Sr.; Brother of Keith Jr.
Son of Sandy and Tommy Arbon, Sr.; Brother of Mike; Father of Tommy III
A Newsletter Dedication is a special page dedicated in memory of your child with any favorite poem or writing you submit.
A Love Gift is a short one or two sentence message in your child’s memory. You may use the form below for love gifts.
Make checks payable to: The Compassionate Friends. Mail to: Denise St. Pierre, 4541 Loveland St., Metairie, LA 70006 (265-0581)
Your Name ____________________________________________________________Phone ________________________________
Your Child __________________________________________Birthday ___________________Date of Death__________________
Message____________________________________________________________________________________________________
NOTE: Love Gifts/Dedications to be put in the November newsletter are due October 20th!
Love Gift
Ron & Julie Hemenway in
loving memory of their son,
Thank you for your generous donations to
TCF- Greater New Orleans.
These ‘love gifts’ allow us to provide our local chapter
with special events, the TCF Newsletter, Web site and
more!
Matthew Boudreaux
Our chapter is operated entirely by volunteers dedicated to furthering the work of TCF. Your voluntary,
tax deductible donations honor your loved one(s) in a meaningful way by enabling us to print and mail
this newsletter and meet other expenses involved in reaching out to other grieving families (100% of funds
are used for this outreach). Donations, along with the name of the person being honored, may be sent to:
Greater New Orleans Chapter of The Compassionate Friends
Please detach and return completed donation form to:
4541 Loveland St., Metairie, LA 70006
I would like to make a donation in the amount of $_________________________.
(Please make check payable to (TCF). My donation is made in honor and in memory of:
_______________________________________________________________________________________
TCF Mission Statement
The Mission of The Compassionate Friends: When a child dies, at any age, the family suffers intense pain and
may feel hopeless and isolated. The Compassionate Friends provides highly personal comfort, hope, and
support to every family experiencing the death of a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, or a grandchild, and
helps others better assist the grieving family.
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ATTENTION:
The Compassionate Friends is pleased to announce that Dallas, Texas, will be the site of the 38th TCF
National Conference on July 10-12, 2015. "Hope Shines Bright ... Deep in the Heart" is the theme of next
year's event, which promises more of this year's great national Conference experience. The 2015 Conference
will be held at the Hyatt Regency Downtown Dallas. We'll keep you updated with details here, on the national
website as well as on our TCF/USA Facebook Page and elsewhere as they become available. Plan to come and
be a part of this heartwarming experience.