indigo nr. 1 english issue
Transcription
indigo nr. 1 english issue
indigo homesick for europe #1 WWW.INDIGOMAG.EU EN FR ES DE IT NL PL ≥ ≤ ≤ ≤ ≤ ≤ ≤ £ 3.75 € 5,50 € 5,50 € 5,50 € 5,50 € 5,50 zÑ 21,- MARCH 2007 MISSING FATHER THE FREEDOM FLAGS OF BELARUS. FROM COMMEMORATION MOVEMENT TO REVOLUTION. LOST IN TRANSLATION BEATING THE BEER FEAR AND BUYINGBSTOLEN CATS: WORDS UNIQUE TO ONE LANGUAGE. GOING MULTILINGO WILL I EVER ROLL THAT SPANISH ‚R‘? WHAT FOREIGN TONGUE TWISTERS DO TO YOUR BRAIN. HEY, BABY FLIRTING TIPS FROM BELGIUM TO BULGARIA. FLOATING AN INDECENT PROPOSAL IN 11 COUNTRIES. Birthday Bash Europe‘s 50th – a party flop? Editorial Author: Ingo Arzt Dear Reader, Europe is not a place, but a feeling. Somewhere between a longing for the faraway and homesickess, it’s pretty contagious. The symptoms are: a yearning for the scent of foreign cities; sometimes feeling foreign in your own country; travelling to a birthday party halfway across a continent; only finding a word in a foreign language. Who‘s started discovering Europe also starts connecting ‘home’ with an entire continent. This is fuelling the makers of indigo: The magazine is initially appearing in English, German, French, Italian, Dutch, Polish, and Spanish. Same content, different language. Its story and stories tell of the wonderful hurly burly and muddle of languages of this new home. Many thanks for the spadework. Regrettably, today’s political Europe has lost the lightness with which its people conquered the continent. We’ve packed this thought onto our front page. The collage melds a photo taken in a former warehouse in Berlin with the painting ‘Liberty Leading the People.‘ Delacroix’s masterpiece inspired a statement by German poet Heinrich Heine, which beautifully describes what constitutes the Europe beyond belligerent politics: “A great thought breathes through this picture, one that streams across our faces in wonderful ways.” indigo icons index contains love and sex does not contain any EU issues contains violence contains nastiness This goes far further than the usual ‘Europe’ with its union, its treaties, attempts at a constitution, statesmen and -women. Over 100 journalists, photographers, translators, and graphic designers from Spain to Belarus worked at the magazine voluntarily. Their motivation: to turn indigo into a magazine that breaks the boundaries of the usual political paper. contains humor For the occasion, we’ve decided to rewrite the history of the EU: a true family drama. The occasion is the 25th of March, 1957. On that day 50 years ago, six heads of state signed the Treaty of Rome, a crucial step on the EU’s path. www.indigomag.eu 3 Contents done 22 March 25th Hall of Blame Demonstrations are announced. These guys won‘t be coming back – Europe’s fallen despots from the last 50 years 18 Mother Europe political Europe turns 50 – a story ready for the daily soaps 16 Before and after A view on the changed continent 4 todo 34 abdicate! Missing father Valeriya Krasovskaya‘s fight against Europe’s last dictator 26 accept! Homo Exodus homosexuals feel the heat in eastern Europe – and are emigrating to the West 61 abolish! DJ Paul van Dyk speaks about beats and poverty You‘ve got Mail Stories of stamps and loveletters: Europe‘s network of romance differences 1 2 4 5 6 7 3 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 Post-Modern 8 Insights Ask your neighbors to know Find each postbox‘s country – no prizes to be won, but maybe you‘ll recognise one when you‘re on holiday! who you are 28 Sweden 14 Latvia 27 13 Cyprus 26 Czech Republic 12 Italy United Kingdom 25 Spain 11 Hungary 24 Slovakia 10 Denmark 23 Slovenia 9 Greece 22 Romania 8 France 7 Finland 21 Portugal 20 Poland 6 Estonia 5 Germany Netherlands 19 Monaco 18 4 Croatia 17 3 Bulgaria 16 2 Belgium 1 Austria 15 Malta Luxembourg Lithuania 8 9 10 23 24 25 11 12 13 26 27 28 Cold Style War Prejudices abound in this battle between an Easten sexbomb and a Western powerbabe. Stiletto vs. Sneaker, take to the ring. Cold Style War Author: Julia Fuhr Marzena Lesinska Photo: Ralph Pache Translation: Adam Chrambach I’ve worn that much colour, I was five and flouting Indian’s war paint! But the feathers in my hair wouldn’t compete with the extent of your high-carat decorations. I’d feel sorry for a Christmas tree, carrying all that around. Take a look at the sky? No sun, right? Then what the devil are you doing with those sunglasses – especially with lenses that could pass for dinner plates. Your makeup makes such a thunderous impression that a hurricane would run and hide. Don’t you think that the last of your weekly visits to the hairdresser ended a shade too blonde? Your hair is so light I have to close my eyes perfect moment for a thought: Why the masquerade? Do you really think you can calculate the value of a woman in the height of her heels The amount you save around the middle and bottom you pile around the top! Leopards, tigers, snakes, and other fauna, you could go as a walking lesson on advanced zoology! All that creeping and crawling, it’s the biodiversity of the textile industry copulating with pink satin and black lace. If there were a prize for tasteless exaggeration, you’d take every category. The section on clothing is yours, hands (and cleavages) down. And I haven’t even started on that multicoloured paint pot you dive into every morning. The last time Talk of the town Student rioting in Athens, the Brits and their small sex misunderstanding, and other stories True beauty glows from the inside – you wish! It might be that inner values are highly regarded. But what’s a pretty product without a selling point? You know the joke about there not being an ugly woman, just a lack of wine? If I look at you Western Europeans, I have to admit that no amount of vodka is going to remedy this situation. Wherever I look, inconspicuous wallflowers from here to the horizon. want to know when your hair has seen a drying hood from the bottom. What’s the problem in making the best out of technology? Sunbeds and home-trainers are there to be used. Your stupid ascetic antics are not an excuse. Your cheeks are screaming for rouge. And if eyelashes could write wishlists, yours would have Mascara in the first line, in bold. And what about that formless cloth bag that you pretend is a jacket. Twelve year olds don’t make the style-bloopers you do, and you’re a grown woman. What were you thinking? Have you forgotten the meaning of style sense? The problems start with the footwear: shoes without heels might be comfy, but I might consider taking them to my aerobics class. My little brother wears foxier jeans than you You’re spastically running after your own authenticity; now I understand the meaning of the ugly running shoes. Lady, wake up to the fact that your personality won’t suffer from being presented in a full package—and looks are a part of that. With you, I have to say in all respect, those looks come across as unspectacular and unfeminine. I’m pretty sure that style wont survive your steady attacks. You say one scores in being natural. Could you imagine a woman might want to show what she’s got? You’re always so big on emancipation. Then don’t let your femininity be stolen like this. Use your weapons! A little more cleavage, a little less cover-ups, ok? Sexy, not unisex. Deal with it, dear, a book is, in the end, judged by its cover. At least I‘m always given due warning. The unmelodious clicking of your stilettos is a warning of what is to come, and my eyes won’t take it. Please stop. I know one should steer well clear of prejudices and stereotypes. Political correctness is good for some, but allow me a tiny flirt with the stylish antagonisms between Eastern- and Western Europe. There’s an ominous clicking on Europe’s streets. You, my dear Eastern European women, have been happily prancing across Western European asphalt too long now. What’s the thing with the pointy, skybound footwear? A javelin thrower worries me less. Your thin, naked legs in those caricatures of shoes prove that well roasted chicken doesn’t just come on a plate. Who cares about the skin, what on earth do you think you’re doing to the energy crisis? If you’re not willing to be scanty here, then at least be consequent. Minimalism might be cool when it comes to art, but that shred wrapped around your ass can’t really pass as a skirt. And what’s the point of a ‘handbag’ which fits nothing but its own lining. Oh, I forgot that there’s Prada pasted on the front. You like generous labelling, don’t you, it makes you feel good about yourself in your pointless world. 24 74 Post-modern Put your letter in here Top 5 European Countries in Clothing and Footwear Expenditure, in % of total 2004 household Expenditure times cup size? As you blame us Western European gals for the world’s antistyle, Lady, try stepping into our blunt but stylish shoes and take a good look in the mirror—although you do that already. Style requires not superlatives but the perfect dose. I have nothing against fashion accessories of any kind, as long as I feel good beneath them. Away with the scratchy leopardskin, I want my own skin, not his – and not every square inch of it presented for public inspection. I’m sexy without a miniskirt. We women haven’t fought long and hard for emancipation for it all to go in a puff of powder smoke. And as clichéed as it sounds: true beauty glows from the inside. and my Yorkie more jewellery. Your favourite colour must be washed-out (if not washout!) and your tops are odious to look at. Face it, babe, there are collections that go beyond cotton T-shirts in three colour possibilities and way beyond the standard, five-pocket jeans. Obviously your poor choice of labels is only made worse by your general aversion to shopping. Do you live by the maxim: spoilt for choice and choices spoilt? I don’t understand the point of walking behind a gargantuan handbag that could easily pass for a shopping bag. From a style point of view, just don’t go there! Your head is topped by a “I don’t need a trim” haircut. And I don’t Greece 10.1 Italy 8.2 Portugal 7.6 Latvia 6.9 Estonia & Austria 6.7 fashion altercation across geographic boundaries www.eurostat.eu Going Multilingo The genius and the failure. Why learning languages is torture to some and a walkover for others. Is your brain up to the challenge? For ten minutes you’re explaining to the receptionist that your shower curtain needs replacing. You still mix up clumsy gestures with ready-made phrasebook formulas when your girlfriend comes to the rescue. In three irritating, perfect sentences, she sorts it out... again. The same frustrating story repeats throughout the holidays. Whilst you labour to put together replies of more than two words, she has befriended the entire holiday resort and her language skills have risen to a whole new level. This is so unfair, you cry. It undoubtedly must be due to that string of dreadful teachers you endured throughout your school years. Or is it because your parents could never afford to send you on those language exchanges? „At the end of the day, maybe I am a failure at languages?” Is there such a thing as innately talented or untalented people? Katrien Mondt, a linguist at the Vrije Universiteit in Brussels, believes that any motivated student can learn a language if the circumstances are right—in particular if the environment is favourable and allows the language to be employed frequently. Take, for instance, adopted or immigrant children: most if not all acquire near-native skills. But why do some adults, despite being immersed in the same environment, struggle to acquire a second language, while your girlfriend finds it dead easy? Michael W. L. Chee, at the Cognitive Neuroscience Lab of Singapore Health Services, believes that ‘phonological working memory’ (PWM) could be a determining answer. PWM describes a short-term capacity system that allows us to store and repeat new, unfamiliar sounds. In contrast, permanent, familiar sound patterns are stored in our long-term memory. PWM is located in several areas of the brain—for instance, the area responsible for rehearsing sounds without pronouncing them can be found in the ‘Broca’s area’ and the phonological storage area in the left inferior parietal cortex. According to Chee, the larger your PWM capacity is, the easier you’ll find the development of a vocabulary base, and in turn, your foreign language acquisition. Yet, it is hard to tell whether a large PWM is consequence or cause of easy bilingualism and this theory is criticised by other researchers in the field. It can only be part of the explanation, as a number of intricate factors are at play: whatever your ‘talent’, motivation and usage, among other things, are also key. 58 The Cold Style War East versus West: a serious Going Multilingo Author: Tania Rabesandratana Illustration: Verena Brandt EG Going Multilingual Why you’re a language genius while drunk and other truths statements 30 Homesick for Europe Gut feelings for a continent 9 Finally! We are hated! Could someone please burn the EU flag? 31 Have Your Say – Pinup Thought Loesje posters and the art of explaining the world in a sentence 6 Bubbles Where Europeans meet. 5 stimuli 64 A Pervert’s Guide to Cinema 66 40 The Slovak psychologist Slavoj Zizek and Sophie Fiennes’ film on the depths of cinema Lordi’s Lair Saxophones and Self-mutilation – a foray into the Finnish music scene Virtual Insanity Second Life is seen as the next step of human evolution for one reason only: good PR 72 HipHop battle Germany and France fight for the worst music do it yourself 42 52 51 gambit! Hey Baby! Ever tried to pick up a Swiss? Not as difficult as you’d imagine grasp! Lost in Translation Some words defy the most ardent translation go there! Chernobyl Trash tourism in Ukraine 10 gamble! Europe à la Card – The countries‘ Top Trumps 44 get old! Olive Oil and Sheep – The secret of the centenarian Sardinians 73 grill! Balls‘n‘Brains – Tasty tortillas from Spain‘s centre Secret Tip The United Kingdom is a joker when it comes to Eurovision; it‘s not nearly so phat on the overweight index. FINLAND J: How often do you speak with your girlfriend? Do you use Skype or a different chat? K: Skype. It’s more useful because you can videoconference and you see each other. How about you? J: I speak with her daily. We both have lots to do, so might not talk for days, which is hard. ITALY • FRANCE Valerio: The city of Nice was an Italian gift to France. It was ours and we gave it to you after the Italian Second War of Independence! Anne-Marie: Every single Italian I meet says that to me… 6 Talking Bubbles Author/Photo: Carolina Pirola ITALY S: Why do you study italian? C: I need it for my tourism studies at university. You need languages for that. S: But why italian? C: Ummmm...I don’t know! Because it’s easy for us! GREECE • FRANCE • GERMANY M: The Fallas of Valencia is the craziest festival I’ve seen in my entire life! C: Aren’t they?! They put so much work into the statues to burn them down in two minutes. I don’t get it! M: It’s crazy, but beautiful. I went there last year and I loved it. Everybody was partying on the street, drinking, dancing…Unforgettable! FRANCE • SPAIN E: The quail paté is delicious! Carlos took me somewhere to taste it and at first I didn’t even want to try, but then I liked it so much that now I’m looking everywhere for it! C: You go, girl! V: Yuck, don’t count on me, I’m a vegetarian. C: What?! You have no idea what you’re missing… When Europe meets it is one big cacophony. Every in Madrid Sunday dozens of people from all over the continent, especially Erasmus students, gather at the Retiro Park to play bongos and other percussion instruments until sunset SPAIN J: There is going to be a new war before you know it; now Bush says I-don’t-know-what about Iran. E: I know, I heard it on the news. A: This is starting to be quite scary. Every little excuse is enough to go to war. FRANCE A: Yes, yes, I think we have to try out everything. B: I think it depends. One cannot do everything. A: Experience is the only thing we have in life. 7 MALI • BELGIUM A: They have good rhythm. In my, country we play them during celebrations. For instance, at my brother’s wedding we had several musicians playing all night long. K: I love them. During the summer we go to the beach to play by night so that we don’t disturb anybody. SPAIN E: …And suddenly she says: “What happens is that you’ve always have had everything without having to work for it”. And so I reply: “Oh, really. Well, who paid for your car?” J: Man, ignore her. You two are always fighting. GERMANY M: It’s so relaxing... P: Yeah, I know. Southern and Northern Europe are totally different. It must be the climate. Finally! We’re hated! Our columnist is having a spot of trouble with his European identity. Would somebody please hate us? 8 ”Back! Pull back!,” the officer barks into a soldier’s ear. Somewhere, in some desert, a squadron has come under heavy fire. Men slither on their stomachs behind sandbags, machine guns rattle, countless explosions whip sand into their faces. What a crummy film. I lounge in my comfy cinema seat and, while grenades explode randomly on the The European screen, take a moment to think about my European identity. How easy life could be: “We can’t leave the Author: Ingo Arzt flag behind,” the soldier screams back at his officer. Photo: Carina C. Kircher On a small sandy hill in the centre of the picture the Translation: Adam Chrambach shreds of a flag waves valiantly. The officer nods. The soldier ducks and runs. He makes it to the flagpole, rescues the flag, ducks, runs back, but suddenly, before he can dive to safety, he’s hit and sinks to the ground. Bleeding, he falls into the officer’s arms, dies, then smiles. He clenches HER in his heroic grasp, the blue flag with the twelve yellow stars on it: Europe. Unbelievable. Someone’s dying for the EU flag. Of course it’s the Stars and Stripes. This is a Hollywood film, the kind where they sacrifice whole battalions of unseasoned recruits in every second Pro-IraqAnti-Vietnam-Whatever-War-Movie just to retrieve the damn flag. Real heroes, sacrifices for the collective, with pathos and whatnot. Let’s try that somewhat closer to home: In the next scene of the film, the soldier’s Insight Out If you want to know who you are, ask your neighbours. Gérard Sina (43) lives in Kigala, the capital of Rwanda, with his wife and five children. Arrogant Europeans Sometimes I have the feeling that we have to be doubly compliant to please our European customers. This is my experience over the last few years, ever since my company Uriwibutso started delivering passionfruit to Brussels. At first, we were able to quickly built up a network of customers. We sent bananas, strawberries, and mangoes to Italy, Germany, France, and the coffin is carried to its grave draped with the EU flag. José Manuel Barroso, surrounded by the crash of funereal trumpets, carefully folds it and hands it to the fallen soldier’s gorgeous, young widow. A single tear lands on a sunflower-yellow star. Beethoven’s ninth rings out. Nobody cares about our flag in European reality. The Danish, British, or American flags must be available in self-immolating versions by now. Would anyone burn the European flag? How can you be properly loved if no one knows how to hate you? It’s all rather depressing. “Would that you were either cold or hot!,” or so it says in the holy scriptures. In that sense, there must be hope. Recently, a soldier guarding the Light Guided Missile Division 8 in Geneva climbed onto the roof of the embassy he was watching over. On arrival, he hung an EU flag on half-mast, just like that, unasked. At least, something. Considering the languid Swiss demeanour, this could be understood as a quasi flag burning. And look at the Bulgarians, who’ve reinterpreted in flag on a magazine cover. Only ten of the twelve little stars were visible. The eleventh had been replaced with a hemp leaf. For the twelfth they’d included a swastika. Meanwhile, a few attack helicopters were pulverising the enemy on screen. I wonder, what plot twists would have to be added to relocate the plot to Europe: Soldiers land in conflict area, hastily erect a support base. Sandbags are stacked, they encircle it generously with barbed wire. Unnoticed, the enemy troops watch from a nearby mountain: “Commander, the invaders are building their base and have hoisted a blue flag with yellow stars. Should we open fire?” Their leader peers through his telescope: “Nah...They’re probably digging a well or constructing a solar-powered drinking water treatment plant.” What follows is a two-hour film rich in ethnological depth and abounding in sympathy for local shepherds. But that’s what it’s like, the good old European stage. Netherlands. But the Europeans have unbelievably high quality standards. If we Africans bargain with the Europeans, we automatically have the weaker position. Once, a Belgian importer called us. A whole container was spoiled when it arrived in Brussels. One and a half tonnes of bananas! Sadly, we didn’t have a representative in Europe who could have checked the situation for us, and sending someone from Rwanda would have been too expensive. We had to believe him. The whole incident cost us 20,000 euros. Today we don’t deliver fresh fruit to Europe anymore, the prices have fallen too much and the risk is too high. Instead, we export fruit juices and banana wine to Belgium, France, and Germany. I’ve just returned from Italy. There, I bought new machines worth 900,000 euros to produce fruit juice concentrate. We need European machines to be able to meet European standards. Study hard, or else... If there were one place in the world where people should live, it would definitely be Great Britain. People living there are gentlemen from top to toe, experts, real friends, and simply amazing. I am calling them everyday from my call centre in New Delhi trying to sell them UMTS mobile phones and contracts of the “3G – The third generation mobile network campaign”. Sometimes I am really being a pain in their necks. They are having lunch when I am calling and I am answering the phone as “Charles” as nobody would be understanding my real name “Vishnu”. After that I tell them in my Indian accent how they could save a lot of money with the new contracts. “Thank you for calling Sir, but I am not interested”, they answer, eating noisily. However, when making phone calls to the U.S., it is a completely different situation for me. They start cursing and giving my mother or sister names at once, though I only have a brother. Despite all that, we are really successful within the call centre, but also all over India. I am really proud of that success. We are taking more and more jobs from Europe to my country everyday and earn billions with you. Europe could be a lot more powerful if it finally made a real effort. Italy, France, England, and Germany – all you guys have the same culture! However, it is good the way it is at the moment. For 300 years we were ruled by Great Britain and I think it is our time now. The future is ours. All I can tell you is to be making some effort! Focus on your jobs and your studies! If you do not do so, the little yellow men from China and India will come to do their own business and take your wealth with them. Recorded by Ingo Arzt Vishnu Sharma (20 years old), his job alias is “Charles”, works in the Neveno call center in New Delhi and studies economics, business and English. 10 10 - 99 Author: Adam Chrambach Illustration: Jan Steinbach 2-4 20 - 45 Europe à la Card Cut out these Top Trumps cards, find some friends to play, and then annihilate them with your BigMac Index! 11 Instructions Distribute cards equally among players. Agree whether statistics win with high or low numbers. Then take turns reading out one statistic from the top card. Winner collects all top cards from that round and starts next round. Legend Litres of pure alcohol consumed per year: Drop for drop, pure ethanol consumed per person in any form. Chug two beers more than last year and your country’s number is sure to rise. Big Mac Index: A measurement of the purchasing power in each country. As Big Macs are available almost anywhere and local retailers set the prices, they are used to compare prices and wealth. Ranking in the Happy Planet Index: An worldwide in- dex of personal well being and happiness. Smile! Podium Places in the Eurovision Song Contest: This country’s crooners have gathered this many gold, silver, and bronze medals at Eurovision. Percentage of women in parliament: The question remains open as to whether a high or a low number is the winner here. Placement in WHO Ranking for overweight countries: Are the Luxembourgers more obese than the Lithuanians? The World Health Organization has done the headcount. Hospitality Club members: The Hospitality Club is a network of people who exchange free accommodations. This card is not a ticket to a free villa, but you could steer towards countries with lots of free abodes. 12 13 14 15 16 Befor & After Photo: Irene Sacchi © EC/Marcelle Jamar Rond-Point Schuman in 1962 17 Rond-Point Schuman in 2007 18 E.a.h.C. Autor: Jochen Markett Illustration: Maria Messing Translation: Adam Chrambach 1957 − Germany • Belgium • France • Italy Luxembourg • Netherlands 1973 − United Kingdom • Denmark • Ireland 1981 − Greece • 1986 − Portugal • Spain Europe and her Children From its humble beginnings, Europe’s patchwork family grows and grows. It all started one rainy evening, a long, long time ago... On the evening of the 25th of March, 1957, the European family was conceived in a festive orgy. The rain hammering down on the Capitol in Rome couldn’t dampen the spirits inside the ornate ballroom of the Campidoglio. Eleven elders had convened to represent their respective six countries. The official line was that they were to sign an agreement regarding economic and nuclear cooperation. What actually took place behind the shut curtains of that ballroom will most likely never reach public ears. Indigo wouldn’t dream of breaking such a long-lasting taboo, but let’s give something away: The heads of state and government had their wives smuggled in through the back entrance. Fascinated by the historical dimension, especially if in the presence of some real power, they decided to reward their husbands for the hard work right there and then. The ceremonies, if one is inclined to call it so, were completed within an hour. Belgian foreign minister Henri Spaak burst into the ballroom, shirt buttons in complete disarray, and proclaimed: „An act to go down in European history!“ Nine months and six days later, on the 1st of January, 1958, six babies were born in the maternity room of the Rome university clinic: Three boys and three girls, the young Frenchman Jean, the Italian Francesco, the German Michel, the Belgian Emma, the Dutch Sanne, and the Luxemburger Octavie. The parents were well aware of the meaningful birthdate and decided to leave their offspring to a special kind of education. An internationally acclaimed nanny was hired: Europa, daughter of renowned Greek nobility, took the children in and promised to teach some good old common values. The press was screaming with joy. A decade earlier and this would have been unthinkable. The families had been feuding to such an extent that the Montagues‘ and Capulets‘ mild misunderstandings seemed downright cuddly. And now, six children of different nationality were to grow up in unison? No one envied the nanny for her position. From the beginning, she had difficulty keeping little Jean on the right track. When a British couple enquired in 1963 whether their expected tot could be integrated into the little family, Jean mumbled a stubborn ‚Non‘ under his breath. He was a true problem child. While the others loved playing in the coal cellar over all else, Jean insisted on staying in his room to play with his ever growing arsenal of “atomic” toys. At age 8, he started refusing to participate in family meals. His high chair remained perennially empty. The nanny knew better than to try to force him to do anything; she knew the delicate balance between the six could easily come undone. Smart as she was, she set out to reconcile the group. During a holiday in Luxembourg the family decided that each member needs some space to fulfil him/herself, despite the common goals. When the children turned nine, Mama Europa decided to move to Brussels and immediately called a family conference to solve anything from pet peeves to fistfighting disputes. The move paid immediate dividends. Even the usually so difficult puberty was handled with flying colours and could not dent the young sextet, on the contrary. After their hormonal roller-coaster-ride the boys‘ and girls‘ development had progressed so well that they asked Mama Europa to adopt four further children. Europa was thrilled at the thought, because in the previous years many parents from countries such as Denmark, Ireland, the United Kingdom, and Norway had expressed the wish to bear a child for the internationally acclaimed family. Tragedy struck when the Norwegian mother suffered a miscarriage, but 1973 still saw three babies bring new life to the place: Mathilde, Patrick and Emily. Patrick was a problem child from day one onward, he weighed a mere 2.8 kilos at birth. But thanks to a nourishing diet and much motherly love, the young Irishman sprouted and flourished. The harmony within the patchwork family steadily increased. When Mother Europa decided to introduce a new unit of pocket money, the ECU, only the individualistic Windsor-grandchild Emily decided it was stupid and refused to take part. She was generously allowed to continue using her old pocket money. The community was soon faced with new challenges: three further parents arrived to harbour their children in the family. Hefty discussions ensued, especially surrounding young Georgios, whose Greek parents had been called ‘junta’ due to their authoritarian upbringing practices, in which they were known to pull out the cane now and then, just years earlier. In the end, the family agreed that the parents had mellowed with time, though. So, once again, the family opened its arms to new offspring in 1981. 19 Five years later they broke through the dozen-milestone. Europa rejoiced at the suntanned Rui and Alejandro, although she was well aware of the growing differences in her family. The six eldest were raking in the cash in their jobs in industry and service sectors. Their family ties were so strong that they still lived at home, which especially Francesco the Italian savoured to the hilt (he must have it in the blood). The younger two spent their childhood trolling through the gardens and fields and had little in common with their older siblings. 20 Europa made an inordinately wise decision: she decided they needed to get off the money trip a bit and spend more time on social responsibility. To this end, they decided to change their name to ‘Union’ during the winter holidays of 1991, spent in the cosy resort of Maastricht. The family decided they needed to face other families in unison and present a common message. They also concluded that a regular meeting for some hearty cops and robbers play couldn’t hurt. Ahhh, they’d grown up. Europa no longer needed to wipe behinds or enforce sleeping habits, while the children’s teddy bears no longer needed to stay in one room. They could switch beds as they liked and whenever they liked. Free bear movement for all! The changes had an immediate positive effect on all members. The good old German Michel had for years been suffering from a serious case of bipolar multiple personality disorder, but had gotten over it well and was growing to the strongest child. He even no longer frightened the others with his regular fits. The adoption of Elisabeth from Vienna, the blond little Swede Anna, and the Finn Iida couldn’t unbalance this new family. Fascinated by the impressive size of her family, Europa announced that same year that she was nowhere near finished. Moreover, she planned a large addition to the family property, in which at least ten further children could find room. No one dared challenge a mother raring to go and all remained silent: A new direction had been born. Another vacation in Amsterdam in 1997—you know how vacations in Amsterdam end— the offspring gave the mother free range to decide family matters. Three years later they packed their bags and headed off to the Cote d’Azur, where a new adoption plan was conceived of over the roofs of Nice. Many children were to join. The grumbling from the back rows could not be overheard. On arriving home, all were clear about the goal: “We need a family contract!” Shouldn’t be difficult, thought Europa. “I’ll write everything down later when I have peace and quiet. The children will be able to read it and everyone will say what a brilliant mother I am.” In the erroneous belief that her power is absolute, Europa shifted the contract from one side of her desk to the other and back again. Her mind was distracted: more children, more baby children... As chance would have, May of 2004 saw another minibus stop in front of the expanded country house of the ‘union’ family. Ten beaming couples stepped out, each with a newwww.sp-studio.de/ born hanging in their arms: straw blonde Erik from Estonia, the pretty Latvian Liga, Lithuanian Ona with the bright green eyes, the exceptionally large for his age Pole Jakub, the fraternal twins Tomas from the Czech Republic and Pavol from Slovakia, the tiny Slovene Marija, the noble son Karol from Hungary, warm-hearted Joseph from Malta, and the Cypriot Dimitra. She had been a complicated birth and had been paralysed on one side since, but physicians hope to find a remedy soon. Ageing Europa could now walk with her head up high, as 25 children swelled the ranks of her little project. As she had her hands full running after toddlers, an old friend of the family—Valery Giscard d’Estaing, uncle of family original Jean—offered his services in formulating the new house rules. He set to work immediately, and after many nights of candlelit musing, the magnum opus was finished. Each child received a copy on its bedside table. Some, the Belgian Emma and Austrian Elisabeth for example, spent a night reading it beneath the covers and proudly announced the next morning that they loved the idea. One child after the other arrived with similar news over the next few days. Suddenly, it was a stormy night in May of 2005, Jean and Sanne burst into the dining room, fuming, furious! Uncle Valery has nerve, writing such flapdoodle! He has absolutely no clue how the family works and what we all want! First we are never asked about anything and now we are supposed to decide on this trashy document on the spot!? Not to speak of the fact that everything is unfair these days! Over our dead body! The new rules were torn into shreds and scattered through the room before the two disappeared to their rooms in a huff. A deathly silence drifted over the dinner table, from where the rest had watched. Peace-loving Europa had seen such outbursts from her children. But now she could not ignore them, as she needed all the children to agree to the house rules. Total shock spread across her face, it took minutes for her to gasp: “I need some time on my own...” She left the room with her face in her hands. A black cloud hung over the house over the next few months. Even the adoption of Gabriela from Bucharest and Stefka from Sofia in the spring of 2007 couldn’t lift the mood. Sooner than anyone had expected, the 25th of March, 2007 arrived. As firstborn, Michel had thought of inviting his siblings to Berlin to celebrate a large, family celebration. He knew a special occasion was needed to bond again after the recent family crises. And suddenly, exactly that wished-for moment set it. Italian singer Gianna Nannini’s raspy voice wafted over the crowd, the song ‘Grazie’ caught in every throat, the siblings fell into each other’s arms. From the crowd, the young Turkish Fatma watched with a smile spreading across her lips while she gently stroked her full, pregnant belly. 1995 − Sweden • Finland • Austria 1995 − Estonia • Latvia • Lituania • Poland Caesco • Slovenia • Slovakia • Hungary • Malta • Cyprus 2007 − Romania • Bulgaria 21 www.sjsu.edu www.dictateurs.com www.calvin.edu www.worldexplorer.be www.ceausescu.org www.marxists.org www.vitral.org www.ahistoryofgreece.com Hall of Blame European values charging outwards in a ceaseless campaign: these 8 were left in their wake. The European Union has spent the half century since the Second World War securing basic freedoms, a bumpy road for sure. Some of the more jarring potholes have come in the form of despots, those powerful men who had to make way for European expansion. Little is left of them once Europe has blown past. Not many would know that Nikolae Ceausescu started his career wanting to be a cobbler. How much is left of fallen leaders, once their faces fade from the television screens? Some leave destabilised countries, others harebrained politics: When Francisco Franco passed away, women could not work, own property, open a bank account or travel without their husband‘s consent. Others are left in the dark during their stay in office: Antonio Salazar had to remove the picture of his idol, Benito Mussolini, from his desk once World War II was over. Yet others notice where the power is: Georgios Papadopoulos reportedly was on the CIA’s payroll for 15 years before the coup that lifted him to power. Under the wheels of time, most dictators are remembered not for their ascension but for gruesome acts of inhumanity. Their ends are also documented feverishly. While Wojciech Jaruzeslki was signing a book in 1994, four years after his abdication, a disgruntled farmer threw a stone at him, breaking his jaw. They may stick in memory, but history has never been kind to the fallen. Photos: Luis Carlos Torres • Viorika Prikhodko Realisation: Joeri Oudshoorn • Maria Messing • Maik Wiechmann Author: Adam Chrambach 24 Talk of the town Author: Carolina Pirola Translation: Louisa Karwat Talk of the town Castles and cheese, statues and statutes: There‘s whispering on the streets. Get these stories while they‘re hot and listen to what they‘re talking about. Should immigrants be granted a “certificate of appropriate behaviour” and “amicable cohabitation”? According to Alberto Fernández’s proposal of February 9th, 2007, those who “truly respect the society, the city, and the country they are living in” should be. Fernández is the candidate of the Municipal Popular Group party for the post of mayor of Barcelona. The answers of various political immigrants’ groups in Catalonia are rather pessimistic. Jordi Hereu, mayor of Barcelona, speaks about the danger of establishing such certificates; he considers them as discrimination “based on home country, skin colour, and ethnic background.” Hereu reminds that rights and obligations “should be applied universally,” since “those rights and obligations are applicable for all of us.” The citizens of Athens definitely agree on one thing: no private universities. An amendment of the constitution opens the door to the replacement of the article stipulating that all centres of higher education “are under the responsibility of the State.” This amendment makes it possible to now launch private universities. As soon as some left-wing students came to hear about this amendment, they hit the streets. The strikes have now lasted several weeks, and, far from losing in intensity, they are becoming more and more violent. One of the largest strikes took place on February 23, 2007, when more than 25,000 students from all over the country met in Athens; the result was a number of injured and detentions carried out by the local police. The British seemed to have been sleeping during sex education. This is the conclusion one can draw from a publication by the British Association for Family Affairs. According to a poll conducted with 495 British adults, the Britons are completely lost or are not sure what the issue of sex exactly refers to. The figures are quite alarming: 89 percent do not know that sperm can survive for seven days inside the body of a woman; 50 percent didn’t know when during a women’s menstruation cycle she is most fertile; and 29 percent of the respondents stated that jumping up and down right after having unprotected sex could avoid a pregnancy. Oops. Again there is blood running through the veins of Count Dracula’s famous castle in Transylvania, Romania. Yet this time, the motivation is fuelled by an attempt to sell this fortress built in the 14th century; the Habsburg family has owned it since it was returned to the royalty last year 50 years after communist confiscation. The owners are asking for 60 million euros: The Romanian government, unable to dig up the cash for such an acquisition, now must worry about a glittery Dracula hotel or a theme park with bloodcurdling rides. The Russian government has long been under fire from international human rights organisations. The Russian Minister of the Interior has denied recent accusations that some officers forced soldiers to prostitute themselves and benefited financially from it. One of the most striking cases involves an 18-year-old man who was beaten up and injured so severely that one had to amputate his legs and testicles. 25 The spokesman of the Soldiers’ Mothers Organisation confirmed that a number of clients in St. Petersburg were willing to pay for sexual relations with soldiers. The government is currently investigating. Disputes over linguistic issues in Belgium are not new. At the moment, the mayor of a small town near Brussels has caused a stir. He prohibited using French in the region’s schools, wanting the children to learn Dutch instead. Anyone caught speaking French on school premises is to be punished. The mayor assured, of course, that he has assigned a group of professors to advise those pupils who do not speak Dutch. Parents who have trouble with communicating on parents’ day can count on the help of interpreters. Nasr Joemann, secretary for the Contact Organisation for Muslims and Government, speaks about the difficult situation of the Muslim community; many have emigrated to countries such as France and Spain: they have felt discriminated against since September 11th. Now, vacant positions are filled by more radical clergy, allowing Wahhabism, an especially conservative interpretation previously unknown in the Netherlands, to find a foothold, creating tension within the community. A Soviet monument, “Soldier in Bronze,” is giving Estonian politics a nasty headache. President Toomas Hendrik Ilves refuses to put his signature under a law ordering the removal of this statue located in central Talinn within one month. The law also prohibits monuments that glorify the Soviet regime. Ethnic Russians regard this as disrespectful to them, as the statue commemorates liberation from the Nazis during World War II. The government announced that they would move the statue to a more suitable location. Poland and Slovakia are embroiled in a rather cheesy dispute. It started when the European Union decided to certify the Polish Oscypek cheese as a trademark. The Slovakian Ministry of Agriculture objected just before the deadline, as they claim that their Ostiepok is, in fact, the original. In order to prove the differences between the two cheeses, the Polish allege their Oscypek cheese consists of 60 percent sheep’s milk and Ostiepok cheese of 80 percent cow’s milk. Therefore, these two cheeses cannot be regarded as one kind. The European Union proposes the two sides come to an amicable agreement on their own. While Brussels discusses Turkish integration, the government in Ankara continues to deny the existence of a Kurdish minority in their country – a barrier in the Turkish application for the EU. The leader of the Democratic Party of Turkey, Ahmet Turk, and his vice, Aysel Tegluk, have been sentenced to one and a half years of prison for distributing leaflets in their Kurdish language. According to the judge, this constitutes a violation of the Parties’ Law, which prohibits the use of another language other than Turkish at events and in party publications. NO! 26 Homo Exodus Author: Etienne Deshoulières Photo: Joab Nist Translation: Adam Chrambach Homo Exodus A deathly silence: Droves of Eastern European gays and lesbians are fleeing discrimination and persecution. Never before has the European Union seen one of its prime ministers publicly denounce a homosexual parade. “It is unacceptable for sexual minorities to organise such a march in the heart of Riga,” stated Aigars Kalvitis, Latvian prime minister, in July, 2005. His comments were directed at the planned Gay Pride Parade and many groups chose to stand behind the politician. Juris Lavrikovs, Latvian gay activist, relates the situation: “Before the demonstration, a hysterical campaign took place from the direction of those antagonistic toward gays, directed by the Catholic, Lutheran, and Protestant churches as well as ultra-national right-wing organisations.” The march was banned by the city council; Finally, a judge overturned decision, allowing it to take place. The couple is Jaco van den Dool (in pink) and Sjoerd Warmerdam. They married March 6th, 2007. “As we made our way, thousands of people started chanting homophobic slogans and lifted placards reading such things as ‘The homos are fucking our country’ or ‘Your rights stop there, where my arse begins!’, ’A march of shame!’,” remembers Lavrikovs. The counter-demonstrators had put themselves in the way of the march, formed a human chain, or sat down in the middle of the street, in other words, did everything to stop the demonstration. As the police did nothing to protect the marchers, the parade was dissolved quikkly. “They threw eggs and tomatoes at us and even used tear gas. Eventually, we were forced to flee into a church,” so Lavrikovs. At least none of the demonstrators were severely injured. More serious was the end of a homosexual demonstration in Russia in May, 2006. The government hadn’t sanctioned the demonstration and thus violated international agreements. When the organisers took the streets anyway, they attracted the attention—and hate— of thousands of nationalists. “Moscow is not Sodom!” or “Homos out of Russia!” were two of many slogans and at the harmless end of the scale. Boris, a security agent, was quoted saying “One should simply kill off the gays.” While the police tried to push the hordes of skinheads back, a small group managed to break through the lines and attacked the demonstrators. Two of the injured were German Green Party MeP Volker Beck and Pierre Serne, a militant environmentalist. Both had travelled to Russia to support the local gay movement. 27 The situation in Latvia and in Russia are no exception in Eastern Europe. A majority of the Belarusian population present hostile views towards the growing movement for homosexual rights: “47 percent of Belarusians would like to see homosexuals put into prison,” says Svyatoslav Sementov, active member of the Vstrecha organisation. He deduced the statistic from a study by the Belarusian League for the Equality of the Sexes. Organised religion has not helped alleviate the situation in Eastern Europe. Pope Benedict XVI had, in his time as cardinal, publicly expressed views opposed to homosexuality. “The legal structures beneficial to the creation of homosexual cohabitation are contrary to good reason.” He called on Catholic parliamentarians to openly make their opposition to such laws known. Today’s pope sees homosexuality as an “anomaly”: a ‘sin’ that ‘violates rules of chastity.’ The Catholic church’s radical position regarding homosexual practices has found large following in Poland’s political elite. Polish politicians have even turned the heat up a few notches when it comes to homophobic statements and policies. “If one person tries to infect another with homosexuality, the state must intervene and take measures to prevent this attack on personal freedom.” – Kazimierz Marcinkiewicz, former prime minister. 2006 saw a high official of the Education Ministry suspended from his duties for distributing ‘Compass,’ a pamphlet printed by the European Council intended to sensitise youths to the problem of discrimination. His successor, Teresa Lecka, lost no time in positioning herself: “Homosexuality is not in accordance with human nature [...]. We will not tolerate this indecent behaviour in our schools. The aim of a school must be to differentiate between good and evil, between the beautiful and the ugly [...]. The school must explain that homosexual practices invariably lead to drama, emotional emptiness, and degeneration.” In the run up to an ‘Equality Parade’ in Warsaw, Polish parliamentarian Wojciech Wierzejski called for physical violence against gays and lesbians: “If the perverts are so keen on marching, we should beat them up with clubs.” According to Amnesty International, a march near Poznan led to a confrontation between militant supporters of the homosexual movement and the neo-fascist Allpolish Youth ‘Mlodziez Wszechpolska,’ the official youth organisation of the governing party Liga Polskich Rozdin. Some members of the Allpolish Youth called for the extermination of gays and lesbians. Shouts could be heard, calling for ‘gas the gays’ or ‘we’ll do the same to you as Hitler did to the Jews.’ 28 Considering the hostility emanating from society, Eastern European gays face high hurdles if they choose to live their sexuality. Statistics elicited by the ILGA (International Lesbian and Gay Association) as to the percentage of gays and lesbians in the ten new member states of the European Union make clear that up to 50 percent emigrate. The effects of discrimination can be felt in the family, at school, at work, in the military, but also in hospitals or in church. More than 40 percent have experienced bullying and more than one in five have been the victims of physical violence. 25 percent of homosexuals in Romania, Slovakia, and Slovenia stated that, after reporting violence to the local police, these refused to cooperate. In the majority of Eastern European states, violence against homosexuals is not the exception. Homophobia is rooted deeply in the institutions of police and army. An ILGA report quotes a young Romanian: “During my military service, I was raped by three of my officers [...]. After they were done introducing me to ‘the pleasures to serve,’ they obviously decided to teach me a lesson in sex as well.” Whoever is now giving Eastern Europe a disapproving look should remember that times in which public expressions of homophobia were common in Western Europe more recently than one would like to think. In 1960, a representative of the government in French parliament, Paul Mirguet, held a clearly homophobic speech: “I think it’s pointless to hold long discussions, as you are all aware of the scourge called homosexuality, a scourge we must protect our children from.” Around that time, the parliament voted to introduce a new category in criminal law: “scandalisation in the form of an unnatural act with a person of the same sex.” “Until the end of the 1970s, the media and the public silenced this topic to death,” remembers anaesthetist Jean-Michel Bonnet, who comes from a small, French provincial town. He has joined 46 percent of French homosexuals and moved to Paris. Bonnet, in his mid fifties, joins his compatriots on the high end of the income scale. “If I wouldn’t have been gay, I’d probably still be living in the country,” he muses. “Homosexuality used to be a totally taboo topic.” Only at the end of the 70s and the beginning of the 80s some interest groups – notably the Emergency Committee against the Suppression of Homosexuals – started garnering public interest for the movement. “When I moved to Paris from the country, we lived like the first Christians, with special codes and meeting points. Our bars all had tinted windowpanes.” 29 Over the course of the last two decades,s everything has started moving. From the decriminalisation in 1982 to the solidarity pact in 1999, the situation for homosexuals in Paris has continually improved. “In the meanwhile, Paris has the Marais-quarter and a gay mayor. There is a noticeable feeling of normalcy in the air, which is very comforting for me. But one must remain watchful. A minority is always a minority. And one just needs to look what is happening in religion’s name to understand that this situation is not a given,” so Bonnet. Even if homosexuality is increasingly accepted by family and friends, life is still not easy for gays and lesbians. Young French homosexuals between the ages of 16 and 39 are 13 times likelier to commit suicide than heterosexuals in that age group. The French homosexual movement is pushing for an improvement in the legal status of homosexual couples. Areas such as marriage, adoption, taxes, inheritance, and policies concerning the uniting of families: many sources of discrimination still exist. “The next big step would be an equal legal status. The fact that I’m gay is a private matter, like religion or eating habits.” Bonnet confirms that, in his daily routine, he no longer feels discriminated against. He wishes that homosexuals from the former Eastern Block could soon say the same. He is hopeful, though: “Eastern European countries are just discovering their many facets, be it in religious or sexual matters. If you travel to Prague these days, you see many positive changes. One doesn’t have the feeling it’s all that different from Paris anymore.” The Parisian wants the fight in the name of homosexuality in Eastern Europe to continue in joint campaigns: “Get involved! Unite! Exchange ideas! Travel to the West! And, most importantly: Europe provides a chance – so go ahead and take it!” www.mag-paris.org/magazette. 30 M.L.f.E Author: Björn Richter Photo: Carl Berger Translation: Adam Chrambach My Longing for Europe Rediscovering homesickness on a continental scale: sharing a wistful pride. It has become late in Capetown. The Table Mountain is slowly shrouded in thick clouds. I pull myself from the vista and turn back to my host, Jan. He takes a nip from his wineglass; we talk about life in Europe and Africa. Jan is a well educated South African with Boer ancestors. Even though his country is the most beautiful in the world, he raves about the metropolises – Berlin, Paris, and Vienna – he has visited over the last few years. “When I was in Berlin recently, I noticed the pulse of life there. One could really feel it.” He tells of nightbuses, of cafés that stay open beyond midnight, of clubs, of career options, the relative freedom compared to life in Capetown. Since then, I have given Jan’s words much thought. Am I also so positive about my hometown, Berlin? I am happy here, even proud of the place, but it’s a feeling that spreads out beyond the city boundaries. This must be a longing for Europe. The last time I was overcome by such a feeling was during a trip to the French Pyrenees. I spent a few days with friends in a small village full of crazy people wanting to get away from society. It was somewhat like Capetown. I was looking at the mountains and letting my thoughts wander and, suddenly, the feeling gripped me: this strange longing for Europe. The feeling is difficult to shake. In the following weeks I was surprised how many people immediately understood when I tried to explain it. Igor from Moldova travelled to New York and discovered it. Kata from Budapest felt it during her law studies in Constance. Vegard from Oslo took diving lessons in Vancouver and longed for home in a way he never had before. Even Vitaut from Hrodna in Belarus felt it: it’s not like normal homesickness for your own four walls, your friends, your own bed. Imagine a wistful pride. A funny feeling that neither my parents nor grandparents ever experienced. “Child, it’s wonderful that you’re able to travel so much. Take the chance and live for the moment.” They don’t get it. I don’t want to just travel, experience, consume. I want to immerse myself in this feeling, want to feel at home anywhere on my continent. Igor, Kata, Vegard, Vitaut, and I speak about similar issues concerning our studies, we like similar music and deal with the same relationship troubles. This is intimacy in the making. Suddenly, I know how if feels to cheer for FC Porto’s victory in the Champions League, to headbang while ‘Lordi’ sweeps the Eurovision Song Contest, or to meet everyone and his brother at the Sziget-festival in Budapest. Then add hours of Skype-conference debates while producing a common European magazine – it all feels a bit like Europe. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not the kind of person to go all lightheaded when someone calls Europe a ‘bastion of peace.’ This is a given for me. I know I am not alone in demanding more than this. Our generation is not whiny, we act. We’re not politicians in Brussels who paste together makeshift guidelines instead of creating lasting visions. The last few years have seen a generation move to the forefront, one that sees Europe as an idea you can live. 31 Pinup Thought Stick it! Long established in the Netherlands, the organisation Loesje aims to reshape public expression through extensive poster campaigns. They have now gone Euro, no facade is safe anymore. As the white-collar hordes ebb and flow to and from work morning in and evening out, do you ever get the impression that public space is ignored in the process? Apart from an occasional glance at billboards or traffic signals, few use transit time for the essence of free moments: observation and reflection. Zoom back to 1983, Arnhem, Netherlands, where strange posters start showing up around town. They flout positivistic messages, dare you to take the time to read and think. Almost 20 years later, the posters and Loesje as an organisation have found their way into most of Europe. What started as a purely Dutch phenomenon has gone international, and yet the process remains as simple as it was at conception. Arrange a few young, critical minds around a large table and get out the paper and crayons. Usually a gigantic pot of stew is included in the process. Then everyone starts a mad frenzy of creativity, putting down any random sentence containing a soupçon of sense. Two hours, plenty of arguments and bowls of stew later, a few posters have survived the gauntlet of critical discussion. The messages are then multiplied through the internet, the intention being to ‘stick’ as many as possible. Sticking is a delicate process. Choose a wall or other handy public surface, the more visible the better. Pray the owner isn’t watching and complete the rite of paper and wallpaper glue. Remove yourself silently and with utmost speed and again pray that many people catch a glance of the poster before some enemy of public expression decides to remove it. The thrill lies in the invasion of an increasingly privatised public space. The intent is to ferment thought in its purest form: the puzzled ‘huh?’ at discovering an unknown object—and message—in an environment your subconscious has long memorised. Only the trained eye will recognise the perfect poster with its touch of subtle meaning coupled with a clever, funny phrase. And yet the poster is only perfect if it catches the untrained, passing eye. Poster tip: If you’re too busy or fearful to stick posters yourself, you can now still enjoy a poignant message now and again. Loesje allows you to include a miniposter on your website, which is renewed every month. Check it out at www.loesje.org Author: Adam Chrambach Photo: Razzo Campanelli 1990 1991 1993 1994 Belarus declares its national sovereignty on July, 27th. Soviet Union becomes Commonwealth of Independent States Lukashenko claims to be the only one in the Supreme Soviet to vote against it Lukashenko elected as chair of anti-corruption committee of parliament Lukashenko wins the first presidential elections and becomes president on July 20th 1996 1999 2000 2001 70 of 199 members of the Belarusian parliament sign a petition to impeach Lukashenko on charges of violating the Constitution Lukashenko organises a referendum for new constitution. United States and European Union refuse to accept it‘s legitimacy. During Kosovo War, Lukashenko proposes a Slavic Union consisting of Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, and Yugoslavia. The plan doesn’t last. May 7th, Opposition activist and former Interior Minister Yury Zakharenko disappears. September 16th, Opposition leader Victor Gonchar and his associate Anatoly Krasov disappear July 7th, Television journalist Dmitry Zavadsky working for Russian Public Television ORT, 1994-1997 personal photographer of Lukashenko, disappears Lukashenko is re-elected on September 9th, Western states criticise the elections, Russia accepts them. 2003 2004 Iraqi officials not welcome in the United States after the first Iraq war are given Belarusian passports for travelling around the world. Lukashenko holds referendum that allows unlimited re-elections and wins. Western states criticise, Commonwealth of Independent States (CIS) say no significant violations took place 2006 2007 March 19th, Lukashenko wins elections. The OSCE (Organisation for Security and Co-operation in Europe) doesn‘t accept them, CIS talk about open and transparent elections. The following days, 10.000 demonstrants protest against the elections. Young people camp in overnight on October square. Protests stopped by authorities. Russia halts its deliveries to Belarus of energy for prices under market value. March 25th, Dan Voli, liberation day. Large demonstrations are announced. March 25th, Dan Voli, liberation day. Thousands of people demonstrate where opposition leaders Milinkevich and Kozulin give speeches. More than 1000 demonstrators are arrested. July 13th, opposition leader Alexander Kozulin is convicted for 5,5 years. September 16th, 10.000 people gather on October square to commemorate the disappeared people. The authorities do nothing. Missing Father A Belarusian leader disappears mysteriously. His daughter takes her mourning and commemoration public. Europe’s last dictator is faced with a blue jeans revolution. “Dear friends, this is my father, Anatoly Krasovsky, this is his friend Viktor Gonchar. On the 16th of September 1999, their lives have probably...” I initiated my speech on the 7th anniversary of my father‘s disappearance with their pictures right behind me. 10.000 people were watching me. They gathered to commemorate the memory of my father and the other 3 “disappeared“ people of Belarus at this Big Jeans Fest on a sunny day in Minsk at Bangalor square. I saw sympathy in their eyes, support, solidarity; I felt somehow excited. Six years ago, my mother, me and only two others travelled here to Fabrichnaya street, to commemorate where my father had last been seen a year before. 36 During every commemoration of those who disappeared in Belarus , I asked myself: how many people would come today? I was afraid that I’d find myself alone on the street. The speech at the Big Jeans Fest Missing Father was so exciting, because these people didn’t forget and attended regardless of the disfunctional public transportation , as usually happens when there is a demonAuthor: Valeriya Krasovskaya stration or protest against Lukashenko. The students Photos: Charter97.org and school pupils attended regardless of their extra activities, such as a sudden cleaning of the campus. This was, to some extent, a happy day for me, if one may use this word in such a situation of uncertainty. I remember the night my father did not come home as if it was yesterday. I woke up at four in the morning and saw my mother in the kitchen. She had not gone to bed yet. I asker her what had happened and whether Dad was home yet. She negated, and said that his and Viktor’s mobiles were off. She told me to go back to bed and that everything will be alright. It hasn’t been that since then. In the morning we called the police. They showed no eagerness to cooperate . I had to go to university My mother contacted some friends of my father and Viktor and went to the place they had an appointment the evening before: a public bath on Fabrichnaya street. Pieces of glass belonging to a Jeep Cherokee, the car my father was driving, were found at the place of incident, as well as traces of blood later identified as Viktor Gonchar´s. Valeriya Krasovskaya It is hard to explain what I felt during those days. The complete understanding of what had happened came to me much later. I had not ever known that a human being could have disappeared without a trace; I could not comprehend it. My mother, my sister, and I were waiting for Dad to come back. We thought the strange situation would be resolved soon. Only after some years I started to doubt whether my father would come back. We decided to transform the yearly commemoration to a monthly one in September 2005, the same month that youth leader Nikita Sasim waved his blue jeans shirt in the air. These jeans became a symbol of revolution that spread beyond pure commemoration. Sasim became so popular among young people that the government felt forced to take measures. Five days before the elections of March, 2006, Sasim was arrested and held for three months without trial. He was thus not able to organise young people. The first court hearing was planned for May 4th. What happened to Anatoly Krasovsky and Victor Gonchar? 1999 was a year of bitter confrontation between the government of Alexander Lukashenko and his opponents, as a considerable number of Lukashenko‘s opponents closed ranks.. Three years before, Lukashenko held a referendum to modify the Belarusian constitution. He intended to increase his power over the country and to extend the length of his term in office to seven years. International observers stated that the referendum did not conform to international standards and the opposition did not recognise the outcome. Anatoly Krasovsky, missing That the meeting on September 16th 2006 was not forbidden or prevented by the police must have been due to the negative attention heaped upon Lukashenko after the tent-protests in the March of 2006. These followed the flawed elections and, later in March, 1000 people were arrested during the Den Voli demonstration on independence day, the 25th. No one dared to forbid the commemoration. There were posters all over the city, banners in the internet, stickers on lampposts and so on. Permission or not, this was going to happen, as some must have feared repeated negative atention. At the moment, everyone in Belarus has heard of our marches on the 16th of each month. You can find grafitti with the number 16 in Minsk. We have organised events in other countries: in Poland and the United States also on a monthly basis, and other events in Lithuania, Estonia, Russia, Ukraine, the Czech Republic, France, Sweden, Belgium, the Netherlands and others. This Big Jeans Fest was also exceptional, as the police didn’t arrest anyone as they usually do. One month earlier, I was visiting Minsk on the 16th, the monthly day of solidarity. I arrived at the scene of a planned event across from the Russian embassy. Some people were standing there, among them a friend of mine. She said I had just missed it. Four buses with police had arrived a few minutes earlier and taken everyone along. She could not finish her story. Four further buses pulled up, full of men in camouflage, ready to arrest the rest of us holding our peaceful action. Everyone tried to run away, including me. But within a few seconds I realised I would not be able to escape. Those men were many times bigger and faster than me, and the hatred in their eyes was closing down. I decided to stop. As they didn’t expect this, they ran after the others without going after me. I had survived, this time at least. The entire evening, I received phone calls from worried friends who had heard from the media that I had been among the arrested. The attention reminded me of a lengthy article dedicated to the the disappearance of my father. It appeared five years ago in an extremely popular tabloid, “Komsomolskaya pravda.” A large photo of my mother and me was printed above the article. After its publication, I first experienced strangers approaching me on the street speaking words of sympathy and regret. They recognised my face and felt a need to express their solidarity. But there was also another kind of experience due to the article. Once, I entered the supermarket Centralny, eating an apple I had bought elsewhere. I was immediately confronted by a security guard, who claimed I had stolen the apple. Not listening to my explanations that my apple was obviously different from the ones they sold, he called the police. Together, he and policeman spent six hours threatening me and telling dirty “jokes”, such as: “now you’ll see what will happen to your smart face” or “we have the whole night to play with you.” They had recognised me from the article and used whatever means they had to show who was in power. I knew they would not dare to do anything to me except talking. What made me really sad was the knowledge they would never be punished for depriving me of my freedom for those long hours. No one dared to forbid the commemoration. Back to the Jeans Fest. After I and other opposition leaders, including opposition leader Alexander Milinkevich, spoke, a big rock concert took place. Musicians are usually deprived of performance possibilities in Belarusian locations due to a perceived lack of loyalty to the regime. Many people were there who I hadn’t seen in an age, among them a highschool classmate of mine, Denis. He had been arrested and sentenced to a 15 day imprisonment for taking part in the tent-protests following the March 2006 elections. He used to be such a calm person, few really knew him; then suddenly I see his name in the media. He had been arrested on the square like so many others. He had gone into hunger strike during his imprisonment. It dawned on me: this quiet classmate was one of us! According to the old constitution, presidential elections should have taken place in 1999. The former parliament had been planning to hold presidential elections, ignoring the dictates of new version of the constitution. New presidential elections after five instead of seven years would not only threaten the position of president Lukashenko, but also would prove the new Constitution illegal. Viktor Gonchar, deputy chairman of the former parliament, and his friend, prominent publisher Anatoly Krasovsky, who partially financed the opposition movement, were put under surveillance Victor Gonchar, missing 37 At the festival he, told me stories of his imprisonment, the way people there would tell jokes all the time. A few days after his release, he even received a bill for his stay in prison. We laughed at their refusal of his wish for a discount, as he hadn’t touched their food. He later told me he paid the fee to not get into further trouble. Foreign human rights organisations reimbursed some of the 1000 arrested, but, unluckily, he was not among them. The 40 dollars he paid is a lot here in Belarus. Denis lost 15 kilos during his hunger strike and had to be treated by a doctor afterward. He didn’t think it safe to tell the reason for his weight loss. He told his doctor he had starting dieting, but that he had decided to go off the diet again. 38 Most of the participants of the Big Jeans Fest were dressed in jeans. Jeans shirts were waved in the air like freedom flags. An hour before the end of the Fest, the electricity was shut off. The official story was that an accident had happened, but I know the police had meant to annoy us. People continued to sing together in the dark, they lit candles and even lit fireworks. At the end, the musicians, among others Krama, Neiro Dubel, and Tovarish Mauzer, appeared on stage and sang popular hits through megaphones. One song commemorated to my father ended with the words “There are people in camouflage in our city but Belarus will soon be free!” I couldn’t have said it better. and their telephones bugged. This surveillance and telephone bugging officially ended on September 16, 1999 – hours before Viktor Gonchar and Anatoly Krasovsky disappeared. The law enforcement agencies started an investigation into the case; however, all known evidence has been collected by volunteers. This includes windscreen fragments of Mr. Krasovsky‘s car used that day found on Fabrichnaya Street in Minsk, Traces of blood were also discovered, identified as Mr. Gonchar’s by an independent expert examination. Commemoration on september 16th, 2006: Opposition leader Alexander Milinkevich calls for a free Belarus (left picture). From the year 2000 onward, the United Nations has issued several resolutions ordering Belarus to investigate the disappearences, the last one on November 2nd, 2006. As of yet, nothing has happened. “Lukashenko has never kept a promise“ 39 Jeanine Hennis-Plasschaert is a member of the European parliament for the Alliance of Liberal and Democrats in Europe (ALDE). She’s worried about the position of the European Union towards Belarus. Indigo asked her to describe the situation, and what actions the European Union should take. „Until recently, the situation concerning Belarus was quite clear. Dictator Alexander Lukashenko has a firm grip over the country and enough power to keep the weak and divided opposition under control. He managed to suppress the protests in March, 2006 after the clearly falsified elections. He kept a strong position within his own political elite and manages to frustrate opposition leaders. Non-state newspapers cannot be distributed, parties are repressed, and opposition activists sit in jail.” „With massive economic support coming from the direction of Russian president Putin, the Belarusian economy was more or less stable. Alexander Lukashenko considered himself to be the best friend of Putin. And, although the West firmly rejected Lukashenko as a ‘negotiation partner,’ it was divided on the approach to be taken towards Belarus as its energy supplies and (much more) are at stake..” Wrong horse „Things have changed due to the oil- and gas conflict between Putin and Lukashenko. Moscow is less and less willing to subsidise Belarus through, for example, extremely low gas prices. The fixed roles have therefore changed and all players are now taking up new positions. Lukashenko is suddenly of the opinion that Putin gives him too little respect and is therefore not longer striving for a Union of Russia and Belarus. Lukashenko, on his own conditions of course, is now even ‘flirting’ with the EU. In an interview, he said: ‚I learn quickly. I backed the wrong horse.‘ These recent developments awakened hope amongst some European leaders that perhaps now Lukashenko will become reasonable. In my view this is, however, a dangerous thought. Lukashenko has never kept a promise and will never do so. The only motive behind his actions is to secure his own position.” Increased pressure needed „It is therefore extremely important not to be fooled by his supposedly ‘good intentions.’ It must be clear that activists, opposition organisations, journalists, representatives of trade unions etc. are still repressed and/or in jail. Freedom of speech does not exist in Belarus. Following the logic of Lukashenko, the West should recognise him as a full partner without insisting on conditions such as freedom and democracy. If the West were to be seduced to do so, we would in fact support Lukashenko in maintaining his personal power. As a start, the European Union should increase pressure on Lukashenko to release political prisoners, following the lead of the Council of Europe. For now, Belarus denies holding any political prisoner. The Council of Europe has proposed an investigation. The outcome of the investigation shall be binding for Belarus. However, the Council of Europe is still awaiting the answer to this proposal from the Belarusian government. It would be beneficial if the European Union would be much louder and stand side by side in its support with those fighting Lukashenko’s evil regime. However, at this very moment the EU already encounters difficulties speaking with one voice. National interests are undermining a coherent and decisive approach against dictator Lukashenko.” Interview: Joeri Oudshoorn 40 Virtual Insanity Author: Martin Lafréchoux Virtual Insanity ordinators, avatars from 7 different countries joined the demonstration. That seems great, if it weren’t for the fact that merely 120 people showed up. The protest was only a way to show some support for a real-world demonstration, not an event in itself. Second Life promises a second identity, the ultimate escape in imitation, a life within a life. But, as in the first, this life is loaded with money-hungry locusts. In December 2006, the Spanish charity organization Mensajeros de la Paz („The Messengers of Peace“) used Second Life to raise funds for their cause. They created a virtual homeless character holding a sign asking people for their money. After a week, the homeless avatar had raised about 30 euros, which is far from overwhelming. But as their representative said, „the main goal is not only the money, but people‘s awareness.“ One thing is clear: whether they come from the virtual residents or from real world entities, the vast majority of events in Second Life are in fact PR operations in disguise. At the end of December, the Front National (FN) the most prominent French farright party – advertised the opening of its new headquarters in Second Life, an online universe in which anyone can create avatars, objects, and buildings. The extremists did not find much sympathy there. According to American journalist Wagner James Au, „after the Front National took root, at least two groups, antiFN and SL Left Unity, rose to oppose them. They had placards and T-shirts, and billboards on the land of sympathetic neighbours, all making plain that FN‘s arrival in Second Life was distinctly unwelcome.“ Second Life allows users to create objects and deeply interact with the virtual environment and that includes destroying other objects. As could be expected, the demonstrations quickly took a rather hostile turn. First there were gunshots, which escalated to explosions and constant gunfire, and then „one enterprising insurrectionist created a pig grenade, fixed it to a flying saucer, and sent several whirling into Front National headquarters, where they’d explode in a starburst of porcine shrapnel,“ remembers Wagner James Au. The fights went on for a week until, on the 15th of January, the entire FN building had disappeared. At first glance, this would seem like great news: in the virtual world, no one supports extremists and people from all over the world unite to kick them out! Although the Front did not actively canvass votes in SL, they did receive much free publicity. The story was featured in numerous newspapers in France and many other countries. Public Relations This is what Second Life is all about: public relations. On January 27th, American Second Life usergroup Netroots organised a protest against the war in Iraq. According to the co- European SL users: France 12.73% • Germany 10.46% United Kingdom 8.09% • Netherlands 6.55% Spain 3.83% • Belgium 2.63% • Italy 1.93% On January 29th, Sweden announced, to the surprise of many, that it intended to open the first ever virtual embassy in Second Life. The move did not come from the Swedish Foreign Ministry but from the Swedish Institute, a promotional institution. In fact, the so-called embassy does not offer visas or any official service; its purpose is to inform Second Life residents on Sweden and to give the country a modern image. Big business If Sweden is the first country to be represented in Second Life, many corporations have already held meetings or opened outlets there. Following the example of such major firms as IBM or Adidas, the Dutch bank group ABN opened a branch in Second Life in December 2006. It does not yet offer any banking service, only “financial advice.“ Since October 2006, the reputable British news agency Reuters has a permanent bureau in Second Life. During the World Economic Forum of Davos, Switzerland, the Reuters reporter managed to complete an online interview of the CEOs of EasyJet and Skype as well as several other high profile executives. The German press group Axel Springer went even one step further. Since December 2006, they published a tabloid exclusively in Second Life, dubbed The AvaStar. Surely, if there are journalists then there must be something to report? There isn’t much, really. The AvaStar does not sell very well. In contrast to the feverish business and PR activity, Second Life has a surprisingly few users. Over 3 million users signed up, but according to the Guardian only 100 000 are considered active users and spend a significant amount of time in the virtual world. In February, Second Life editor Linden Lab announced on its website that, for the first time, 30 000 users were connected at the same time. But given that the acreage of Second Life is greater than the city of Munich, it must have felt a bit empty. These figures only show that the corporate presence in Second Life is not about the creation of a virtual market. Corporations open stores and hold events in the virtual world because Second Life offers them an easy way to get media coverage for products that would otherwise be ignored. Focus on the users They can achieve this because Linden Lab has managed to get many journalists to write about Second Life. The key factor is the in-game money. Second Life uses “real money“, in the sense that there is an exchange rate between in-game and real world currency. In May 2006, Second Life resident Anshe Cheung was on the cover of Business Week for being „Second Life‘s First Millionaire“. Though Cheung comes from Germany, her company is based in China; it creates and sells virtual property in SL, and already employs 23 people. But a quick look at the official SL statistics shows that less than a thousand SL residents earn more than 100 euros a month and that only about a dozen earns more than 1000 euros per month. nwn.blogs.com rootscamp.pbwiki.com lindenlab.com terranova.blogs.com getafirstlife.com www.flickr.com There is no doubt that Linden Lab is excellent at managing its own image. When a rather mean parody of Second Life - called Get a First Life - was put online, the company did not try to shut down the website, they officially gave it their authorization. This surprising move is meant to show everyone how humorous they are, which, in turn, attracts more users. But the hype will not last forever. Ironically, the Reuters correspondent in Second Life recently published an interview announcing the end of it. According to consulting firm Gartner Group, Second Life is nearing what they call the „Peak of Inflated Expectations,“ which means that a backlash can be expected soon. According to this theory, Linden Lab hopes to be bought by a larger company before the buzz collapses. So, for the moment, Second Life residents are not Linden‘s customers. They are its product. As for the potential buyers, the Gartner Group analyst Steven Prentice suggests that „Google would be top of the tree“. The idea is not far-fetched, since the search-engine giant recently bought an in-game advertising firm, Adscape. But it has to happen fast, because the residents are getting increasingly frustrated with both the poor quality of the hardware (the game can get very slow) and the constant invasion of PR marketeers. If Linden Lab wants Second Life to keep its promises, it should focus more on its residents and less on the corporations. At the end of February, the socalled Second Life Liberation Army bombed the virtual stores of Reebok and American Apparel, asking for more control of the residents over the virtual world. It may soon become a world full of marketers trying to sell their products to empty rooms. 41 Hey, Baby! Between pickup lines and smooth moves – a guide to flirting from the Baltic to the Bosporus. Spain Don’t mess with the Spanish. He’ll go hardcore on you if even one of your surreptitious gazes should happen to land on the chest of one of his gals. She’ll go ballistic if she catches you entwined in a dirty dance with a mate. Centuries of extensive sangria intake under a searing sun has led to ‘sangre caliente.’ Hot blood allows for steamy love or burning hate, but not much space for interpretation in between. Italy 42 Hey, Baby! Author: Irene Sacchi Illustration: Anne Buch They say you have “ham rolled around your eyes” if you are blind to an Italian advancing his/her flirts at you. Italian coquetry is as clear as it is honest. They keep ‘ciao bella’s in their pocket for every occasion possible. Italian style consists of capital letters and clear objectives. Boys offer drinks, girls ask for cigarettes. But if you see two boys kissing each other on the cheek, don’t think that Italian flirt-mania is at work: this is a perfectly platonic goodbye. Greece Everyone knows that the Greeks display their hospitality with hearty Sirtaki dancing and hefty garlic and ouzo consumption. Their flirting techniques are less well known. Forget a cheap one liner, the Greek wants to be floored by your cultural finesse. Organize a classy theatre evening, tour of the Acropolis or other archaeological gem, or a romantic stroll. Become a mini Homer or Plato, and you’ll surely score big. Poland Bulgaria Place a girl on the centre of a Bulgarian dance floor and see what happens. The ensuing process reminds of a mild case of Big Bang. She will invariably be jumped by a whole entourage of prospective suitors searching for that special night of love. If you or your friend are not in the mood for all-out battle, then get yourself invited to a private party. There, girls will be more confident and males a tad more sane. The music won’t disassemble your eardrum. Throwing your own party for that special someone? Land a heavy hint by serving the local flirting vodka. How on earth is one to flirt in shy, introverted Poland? Number one: choose a place for some crazy dancing. Number two to ten involve beer. Eleven should come by itself: the decibels rising in typical earsplitting, disco fashion. In such a cacophonous atmosphere, exchanging anything but telephone numbers or the shortest of messages seriously threatens the survival of your vocal cords. You can rest assured that the next date will be a notch quieter. Take him/her to the movies, have a coffee, or head for a concert with some earplugs. Switzerland The Netherlands The inventors of such lucullian delights such as fondue or chocolate (or chocolate fondue, for that matter) must be good flirts. This is a small country with a reputation for shy inhabitants when it comes to dating. This unfounded myth (have you ever seen how the Swiss hold their drink!) might stem from foreigners not employing the proper code: Ask a Swiss belle or beau for a meal and you’ll get dinner and only dinner. Now ask them to an Indian or other exotic meal and watch the evening go spicy before you know it. The Dutch, whose singles seem to migrate back and forth from Europe’s camping sites, have opened up a new alley for that flirtatious approach. If you go to a ‘Singles-supermarket’, you buy stop that wicked thought! No singles for sale here! Singles-supermarkets offer an easy, quick lunch for one person. That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to lean over the edge of the table and ask where your neighbour spent their vacation. 43 Portugal Germany What happened to gender stereotypes? In a pub, a girl walks up to a guy and buys him a beer. The next day, the same things happens in a café over a coffee. This isn’t a nymphomaniac revolution. But Germans are difficult when it comes to first approaches. You will need all your intelligence and a witty tongue to crack the code, as the coffee is just an excuse. They focus on conversation; if you pass the chat test you might even be able to buy the beer next time. Belgium If you have plied your trade in southern or eastern Europe, you’ll be used to marching into a bar and marching right back out with someone on your arm. In this case, Belgium is a cold, foggy shock. With this tactic you’ll end a long night drunk and mumbling obscenities at the waiter. Yes, I’ll have another beer... So what do you do? Accept that the locals are difficult and take a language course. Here, integration is supreme and will land you a date in no time. It’s a myth that all perfect gentlemen walk around flouting fancy English accents. Welcome to Portugal, the land of men opening car doors for women, the country of a helpful hand with a woman’s jacket. The trick behind the secret behind the recipe: everyone is treated to such affability. If you`re really on the must-pick-up list, they’ll pretend to confuse you with someone else. So beware those bogus confusions on the street. Turkey Turkey is for professionals. If you’ve read carefully and tried your hand (or tongue) in those countries suited to novices, you might have a chance here. Take your time and plan a strategy. First, you’ll need to fall into favour with the target’s parents, special care must be taken with the father. Then scout the surroundings. In Turkey, lessons or friends’ houses are a common place of meeting. Perhaps he/she goes to university. In that case, speak to the professor and see if you can sit next to your project in a class or two. Within four or five years, you’ll start cracking the outer shell and might start hoping for a secret moment to meet. Then again, the situation in Turkey – especially in the cities – has been changing rapidly over the last few years. It might be more fruitful to wait. 44 Li ve Slow, Die Old Author/Photos: Silvia Cravotta Translation: Irene Accardo Live Slow, Die Old Europe has found its fountain of youth: Silanus is one of four villages on the world where people grow older than anywhere else. Their secrets? Something like Sheep, Luck & Olive Oil. Longevity has never been so simple. For centuries, men have trekked across the globe in search of the elusive fountain of youth. Catch the next flight to Sardinia and the prize is yours. Perched in the heart of the mediterranean island is the village of Silanus, at first glance a village like any other, 2,300 inhabitants, a few houses huddled around a couple streets. Yet one can read history from the lines in these people’s faces. Talk to Michele Mura and the furrows facing you spell out stories of work and weariness. Yet, his words glow in their relaxed lack of regret. Tiu Micheli (‘Uncle Michele’), or so the villagers call him, is wearing pants that flutter around his thin legs, oversized rubber boots, and a bright green coat. The sky arches over his flock of sheep. Everyday, he takes his animals to pasture and, on the side, cultivates a small vineyard. Michele is 83 years old. “The country air is my medicine,” he confesses, also admitting that he feels like he’s in retirement, as he relies on the help from his son these days, despite his remarkable youth. Another hardworking resident, Tonino Cola, is the baby of the group at age 77. His daily routine includes an early start to tend to his donkey, sheep and cattle. He follows their search for green for kilometres and often spends his nights in the open, as he is afraid that thieves might decimate his herd. “There must be passion in what a man does, even when there are jobs to do” explains Tonino, who reminds of an ancient knight in search of adventure. As he unfolds his lunch parcel, he tells of the diet the island provides him with: meat, cheese, and ‘nieddu,’ a red wine he produces himself alongside his garden vegetables. With the introduction of the Euro and its markets, many locals decided to start producing vegetables from their gardens. And from here the elixir to longevity sprouts under the mediterranean sun. A diet heavy on fish, vegetables and whole grain bread is worlds away from preprepared and prepackaged fare. Here, memories work like clockwork: Torino speaks for hours about the genealogical trees of his relatives, relates the adventures of his uncle, a pilot in the Second World War. Cigarettes? Not many, only when times are tough. Medicine? Even fewer and only when he really needs them. The strongest medicine the village has ever seen is a simple antibiotic. Silanus is, in many ways, like any other municipality on Sardinia. It rose to international fame when scientists from the National Institute for Aging in the USA identified it as a world longevity hotspot—along with the Japanese island of Okinawa, the city of Loma Linda in California, and parts of Costa Rica. No clear explanation exists as to why this village has more centenarians and 90 year olds per resident than anywhere else in Europe. According to a European set of statistics, Silanus would have to be five times larger, if one goes by the average number of ‘dinosaurs’ walking these streets. Whereas the rest of the planet has one male to every four female centenarians, here the men hold a decided advantage: twice more than the average elsewhere. Quiet lives free from the sickness of stress, food pulled from one’s own land that requires daily care, exertion that couldn’t be more different than jogging or the gym: perhaps this is the magic formula for a century’s worth of health. But could it be that genetic factors are just as influential as the active life of these grandfathers and –mothers? The isolation of the village’s and the island´s gene pool, could in part, explain the general long life of the residents of Silanus and Sardinia as a whole. Scientists from the University of Sassari are testing this theory in their project, coined AkeA – from 45 the traditional Sardinian expression a kent’annos, ‘into one hundred years’. “Of course the genetic factor is important,” states the town councillor for culture, Gigliola Congiu, over a plate of local, sheep’s milk cheese, Pecorino, “but don’t forget that, especially during the war, food has always been precious and people live austere lives. But, most importantly, everyone here is surrounded by relatives, making them feel wanted in society.” The social ambience of the village inoculates residents against loneliness, a scourge of the metropolitan elderly. A hospice wouldn’t have a chance here. Francisco Nieddu, former mayor and founder of Pro Loco, an institution organising cultural events and activities, has is own theory to the local ruggedness. He speaks about natural selection, as the 80 and 90 year olds have in younger years all survived the malaria formerly endemic in the area. He says people are physically stronger and more resistant to disease and is not sure his children will be able to follow in their footsteps. Children are paramount here, and age doesn’t stop parents caring for their little ones. Stefano Cossu is said to have a child’s face, merely a few creases run down his 93 year old face. He has just finished helping his son Andrea with the sheep in the barn, when he arrives to perform with his other son, Angelo. Both sing canto a tenore, a Sardinian polyphonic chant declared a cultural heritage by UNESCO. The unbelieving bystanders watch as he leans on his kitchen table, singing with a strong, deep voice. The presentation seems to prove that longevity is in the mind. Another shining example of this is Andreana Penduzzu, 95. Sitting in front of the fireplace in her black dress, she wouldn’t seem a likely candidate for a punch line or disarming joke. But she jokes with visitors and adoring children and grandchildren alike. Sardinians are typically energetic, but this lady would make thirty year olds jealous. She says it is her grandchildren keeping her alive year after year. “Of course genes are relevant for a long life,” explains Claudia Hennig, president of the German section of the European Society of Anti-Aging Medicine, “but the difference between not being able to walk at 70 and a healthy old age lies in your lifestyle. Basically, growing old is like saving money for your retirement: the earlier you start living a healthier life, the less effort is required when you’ve reached old age.” Surely this is a good suggestion and an easy one to follow in a village like Silanus. The trick will be to transfer such a lifestyle to the metropolis, amid smog and the fastrhythmed life we lead. Are we up to the challenge? The answer should come around in about a century at the latest. Europe is going white. Old Europe leads the world in the proportion of elderly. Time is stopping for no one: while 15.9 percent of the European population was over 65 in 2005, this number is expected to rise to 27.6 percent by 2050. The value the increased number of elderly add to society comes with a commitment. The growth of costs in social and health services grows as the percentage of the working population sinks. The European Union obviously wants to keep its seniority occupied and productive. To help grandmothers and grandfathers feel like the spring chickens they once were, the EU has launched ElderGames, an initiative to improve mental faculties through play. Going Multilingo The genius and the failure. Why learning languages is torture to some and a walkover for others. Is your brain up to the challenge? For ten minutes you’re explaining to the receptionist that your shower curtain needs replacing. You still mix up clumsy gestures with ready-made phrasebook formulas when your girlfriend comes to the rescue. In three irritating, perfect sentences, she sorts it out... again. The same frustrating story repeats throughout the holidays. Whilst you labour to put together replies of more than two words, she has befriended the entire holiday resort and her language skills have risen to a whole new level. This is so unfair, you cry. It undoubtedly must be due to that string of dreadful teachers you endured throughout your school years. Or is it because your parents could never afford to send you on those language exchanges? „At the end of the day, maybe I am a failure at languages?” Is there such a thing as innately talented or untalented people? Katrien Mondt, a linguist at the Vrije Universiteit in Brussels, believes that any motivated student can learn a language if the circumstances are right—in particular if the environment is favourable and allows the language to be employed frequently. Take, for instance, adopted or immigrant children: most if not all acquire near-native skills. But why do some adults, despite being immersed in the same environment, struggle to acquire a second language, while your girlfriend finds it dead easy? Michael W. L. Chee, at the Cognitive Neuroscience Lab of Singapore Health Services, believes that ‘phonological working memory’ (PWM) could be a determining answer. PWM describes a short-term capacity system that allows us to store and repeat new, unfamiliar sounds. In contrast, permanent, familiar sound patterns are stored in our long-term memory. PWM is located in several areas of the brain—for instance, the area responsible for rehearsing sounds without pronouncing them can be found in the ‘Broca’s area’ and the phonological storage area in the left inferior parietal cortex. According to Chee, the larger your PWM capacity is, the easier you’ll find the development of a vocabulary base, and in turn, your foreign language acquisition. Yet, it is hard to tell whether a large PWM is consequence or cause of easy bilingualism and this theory is criticised by other researchers in the field. It can only be part of the explanation, as a number of intricate factors are at play: whatever your ‘talent’, motivation and usage, among other things, are also key. Going Multilingo Author: Tania Rabesandratana Illustration: Verena Brandt 47 „I don’t know how large my phonological working memory is, but I know my dad says I should be grateful for his talent, which he sees as a hereditary gift.” Katrien Mondt, a researcher at the Vrije Universiteit in Brussels, allowed Indigo a first-class experimental peep into her latest investigation of the bilingual brain. Obviously, genetic factors must be involved in language learning the same way they influence our entire development. These factors function in combination with what is referred to as our ‘environment’, i.e. the elements that surround us at different points: our culture, our exposure to the language, and others. Not Mondt works with three groups of people: early bilinguals (those who learnt their second language at a young age), late bilinguals, and monolinguals. She tries to determine if and how their language performance is linked to their maths performance. One of her most striking findings is that early, balanced bilingual children are better at arithmetics than monolinguals. She is now carrying out a similar study with adults and agreed for me to be one of the ‘late bilinguals’ of her sample. The experiment takes place in the Erasmus Hospital in Brussels, as it requires the use of a special scanner for functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI). With this technique, Mondt visualises the activation of neurons in different areas of my brain while I perform a series of tasks. Cédric the lovely MRI technician, gives me a dowdy grey pyjama and giggles when I come out of the changing room in my frumpy outfit. Suddenly, I’m no longer a young journalist, but another mildly frightened guinea pig. Such is the power of clothing. In the meantime, Mondt details the three types of tasks I have to perform, which appear on the screen during the scan: Language: generate verbs from a series of nouns; Attention: press the button if the word on the screen is the same as the name of the actual colour of the letters; Maths: press the button if the result of a sum is correct. Piece of cake, or so I thought. Cédric then leads me to the white MRI machine and gives me huge earphones to wear: “because of the noise.” What noise? As my body slides smoothly into the machine, I imagine myself the heroine of a science-fiction movie. The experiment starts, so does the noise. UNEXPECTEDLY AND OVERPOWERINGLY LOUD. It first feels like my head is trapped in a fire alarm. Then it reminds me of the inside of a washing machine. You know those TV quiz games? You score all the bonus points when answering the questions from the comfort of your sofa, but in front of the cameras it becomes downright daunting. Same idea applies here. Once you lie down in that tube surrounded by so much noise, matching blue with blue or 2 + 3 with 5 actually does represent quite a challenge. On the other side of the window, Mondt checks what I answered correctly and of my brain. This way, she can see which areas of my brain I activate to process the tasks. Later, she will compile the data for all three groups and compare the activation patterns. In the end, she hopes to be able to characterise our cognitive strategies and to better understand the bilingual brain. The experiment takes about an hour and inevitably my body is itching at all the wrong times and in all the wrong places. I wonder if Mondt can see it when my mind wanders off and if that will affect my score. Apparently though, it all went well. I left, tired but unharmed, and proud to have made a small contribution to neurolinguistics. 48 only your parents’ knack for languages but also their attitude to foreign cultures are partly responsible for your language abilities. „Anyway, it’s surely too late now?” To cut a long story short, no, it isn’t too late for you. In principle, anyone can learn a foreign language at any age. Much has been debated towards the idea of a cut-off age, after which children cannot acquire a good command of a language. The end of this ‘critical’ or ‘sensitive period’ is controversial, though. Some scientists see the age of 6 or 7 years to be the turning point, while others identify puberty as the defining moment. All in all, “this idea is now obsolete for most psycholinguists,” says Philippe Mousty, a researcher at the Université Libre de Bruxelles. “There is no such thing as a brutal change in performance level at a certain point in life. What we see is a gradual, continuous decline in language learning abilities with age,” Mousty continues. In short: the earlier you start, the easier, but it’s never too late to begin. „Fair enough. Maybe I could learn that language. But there’s no way I’ll get the right accent.” The later you start learning a foreign language, the stronger your accent will remain. Our brain keeps maturing from birth onward; for instance, the location of a particular function can shift from one area of the brain to another to recover after a trauma, or as a consequence of repeated learning. This plasticity allows us to learn all of our lives, but brain maturation does not happen in a uniform way for all language functions. Vocabulary and grammar functions usually remain intact late in life. Phonological functions —the representation and production of sounds— degrade faster. This could explain why young learners acquire accents quickly, whilst older people often retain a strong accent. But who cares if you speak with an accent? As long as they don’t leave your speech completely garbled, accents are cute anyway. 49 „And why am I never able to roll that Spanish ‘R’ properly?” A child can perceive all kinds of sound at birth. After a few months, this capacity to perceive sounds and contrasts decreases. “Different people don’t pronounce sounds in the exact same way and as we grow up we learn to recognise these slightly varying sounds as one by eliminating irrelevant variations. Whilst we do this, we also lose the capacity to perceive new things, such as foreign sounds,” Mousty explains. Thus, native Japanese speakers, for instance, have trouble differentiating between European ‘L’ and ‘R’ sounds, because this distinction is missing from the Japanese language. But of course, you can still train your pronunciation to some extent. „That’s all very well, but however hard I try, I’ll stay a boy. Boys are never as good as girls at languages. See how my girlfriend babbles away with the villagers effortlessly?” “In general, girls do fare better…but it’s not that simple,” warns Mousty. The female and male brains do develop differently, yet the ensuing interpretations can be laden with sensitive undertones. Boys and girls have a different pattern of use of their left and right brain hemispheres when they perform a linguistic task. This means they often adopt different cognitive strategies, but doesn’t tell us how well these strategies work in practice. And here it is again tough to distinguish ‘innate’ characteristics from the influence of the environment. Among these influences, the traditional social roles and attitudes ascribed to women and men weigh heavily. “In the 1970s and 80s, several American studies in socio-linguistics showed that women had more influence on language changes, mostly a beneficial one,” Mousty recalls. “There were also authors arguing that women are more at ease with interaction and communication tasks, and men with language production.” But cheer up: even if there are demonstrated ‘gender effects’ on language, not all of them are favourable to girls. „Whatever. Whether girls or boys, those people who are gifted at thousands of languages truly depress me.” „Hey, and what if I become really proficient in a foreign language… Could I forget my mother tongue?” Once you learn one foreign language, it is definitely easier to learn a second or third one. “The competencies you develop when learning one language are transferred to others. It’s like training a muscle,” according to Mondt. The practice of switching from one language to another certainly slows down the negative effects of age on the brain and its learning capacity. Ellen Bialystok, from York University in Toronto, showed that active bilinguals had a delayed average onset of Alzheimer’s disease—four years later than monolinguals. This goes to show that regular exercise is good for the brain and in particular that language practice is a good workout. Yes, it is possible. Christophe Pallier, a French researcher, showed that Korean children adopted by French families at a young age displayed no language difference to native French speakers. What’s more, these children have no specific brain activation when presented with linguistic elements specific to their mother tongue: they have forgotten it. In a different vein, Mondt has studied children in situations of submersion, such as immigrant children who go to a school where they must speak a new language. After a time „If I do improve, will I ever THINK in a foreign language? That’d be so cool.” 50 „Ah, that’s a vast philosophical question,“ remarks Mondt. “Do we need language at all to think? Or do we think through pure concepts, images, sounds?” In principle, one can think in another language, but this ability depends on many factors and one’s level of proficiency. Do words in different languages represent identical concepts, or do we think through our in the new environment, these kids require more time and effort than before to perform tasks in their mother tongue. “It creates bilingual people that are not balanced, and that’s definitely not a cognitive advantage,” Mondt notes. In your grown-up case however, the degradation of your mother tongue is not very likely— native languages in adults are on the whole more stable than in children. „Actually, I do get better at languages sometimes… When I’m drunk.” strongest language? Thierry and Wu have carried out an experiment at the University of Wales to elucidate this mechanism in late Chinese/English bilinguals. The participants were asked to indicate whether pairs of English words were related in meaning. They were unaware that some of the word pairs, though unrelated in meaning, concealed a repeated character when translated into Chinese. When they came across these ‘trick’ word pairs, the Chinese native speakers had a longer reaction time than the English native speakers. The researchers therefore believe that the Chinese speakers unconsciously translated into Chinese while reading English and thus took longer to process the information. ‘Unbalanced’ bilinguals—bilinguals who have unequal levels of proficiency in both languages— generally use their strongest language to perform certain tasks, such as counting. With heartfelt thanks to Katrien Mondt, Philippe Mousty and Bram Vanderborght As strange as it sounds, this does make sense. Alcohol doesn’t affect competence, but does lift those inhibitions that usually slow down your practice and thus your language acquisition. “Maybe extroverted people move forward faster than people who dare not speak, just because ultimately they practice more,” says Mondt. Accepting that making mistakes is a part of the learning process is definitely cheaper, less noxious and probably just as effective as caipirinha. So go on and ask the receptionist about that shower curtain. You have nothing to lose but an ounce of linguistic pride; the earnest endearment of the locals is yours to earn. To find out more about Katrien Mondt’s research, check out her personal webpage: http://homepages.vub.ac.be/~kamondt/ Happy Greetings from... Chernobyl Long ignored by the tourism industry, this hotspot is glowing with a new influx of hardy travellers. Disaster tourism 20 years after the occurrence: Three Americans, four Ukrainians, and I leave Kiev in a small white van. We’re headed for the 30-kilometre zone surrounding the former nuclear power plant of Chernobyl. Our local guide works for the Ministry of Disasters. A serious, squarely-built man with a moustache, he wears army fatigues and trainers. He smells of sweat and doesn‘t like questions until he’s finished talking. We’re seated in his cheerless office with an old bakelite telephone and yellowing wallpaper, listening to a one hour monologue about the biggest disaster regarding a nuclear power plant ever, the infamous Chernobyl meltdown on April 26th, 1986. After this introduction, our guide takes us to the abandoned city of Pripyat. It was built in the early 1970s as a Soviet model-city where life was good. A giant Ferris wheel still stands, a teddy bear lying in front of the dilapidated ticket booth. We enter an apartment block. Signs of looting are everywhere; even the kitchen tiles have been removed. In the late eighties, radioactive furniture from places like Pripyat was sold on Ukraine’s black markets. It’s likely that, up to this day, thousands of people are cooking on extremely radioactive stoves or resting their behinds on a highly radiating couch. What surprises me about ‘the zone‘ is the overwhelming presence of nature. In the place of former Ukrainian potato and cabbage patches, I see nothing but meadows and young forest. A dead silence reigns, even birdsong is absent. All buildings have been abandoned and are derelict. At the entrance of an empty apartment building, a mature tree has worked itself through the asphalt pavement. My Geiger counter starts clicking alarmingly as I hold it over the moss www.pripyat.com/en www.chernobyl.info covering large patches of asphalt and concrete. Moss seemingly retains a lot of radiation. Several days after the disaster, more then 200.000 peo- Happy Greetings from... ple were evacuated from the area around Chernobyl. At the time, they were told they would come back wi- Author: Florence Tonk thin a few days. Some never returned, others only af- Photo: Martijn de Vries ter 18 years. At the moment, around 2000 people live in the polluted villages within the 30-kilometer zone. They have returned because of homesickness for their fields and their spacious farmhouses. Mostly old people have chosen to return. They say they don’t mind the radiation and that whatever time they have left on this earth, they’d like to spend at home. After our visit to Pripyat, the van takes us to the power plant. The melted reactor number 4 is packed into a concrete sarcophagus hastily built after the disaster. My Geiger counter clicks like never before this close to the ill-fated spot and our guide restricts our stay to five minutes. At the end of the tour, we’re offered a hot lunch in the office of the Ministry of Disasters. A grumpy woman brings us four courses of chicken soup, cold meats, mashed potatoes, cabbage salad and pudding. The Americans in our company play with the food on their plate, ashamed. They are afraid the food is contaminated, but my appetite is larger than my anxiety. Travel information: - In Kiev, many organisations arrange guided tours to the 30-kilometre zone around Chernobyl. The cost decreases with the number of people in your group. For one person, a trip costs around 300 US dollars, for six people the price goes down to around 100 US dollars each. - One must book a tour to Chernobyl approximately one week ahead due to the official permissions required from the authorities. - The controlled 30-kilometre zone is a two hour drive from the capital Kiev. I‘ve been to Chernobyl. At the last checkpoint, we have to pass through a steel contraption that reminds me of the device that created the Frankenstein monster. Here we have to get tested on the radioactivity we’ve accumulated. Everything seems to be within the normal range. A guard holds a special Geiger counter to the tires of our bus: not contaminated. We head back to Kiev and a mere kilometre beyond the checkpoint, I see a babushka bend over her potato patch. By the side of the road, women sit on stools, selling buckets of freshly picked blueberries and raspberries. What is the difference in regard to radiation levels between this place and the securely locked and controlled 30-kilometre zone? No one can answer that question. www.tourkiev.com/chernobyl.php www.newlogic.com.ua/en/services/tours/chernobil 51 Lost in Translation When a Lampadato travels along the Weißwurstäquator – Every so often, you encounter a word in some language that takes a journey to explain.. 52 Lost in Translation Author: Frida Thurm Illustration: Nina Weber Translation: Isabel Georgi Kweesten (Netherlands): Henry Reed Stiles wrote a book in 1871 mentioning a strange form of romance practised on Dutch islands. She would leave windows and doors open at night, yet hides under her covers. He arrives, and without sneaking a peek, talks to her in the hope persuasion’s powers will win her over. Today’s internet crowd spells it ‘Queesting’ and the free-loving Dutch have long erased it from their vocabularies. Whoever uses it, the word remains singular in both meaning and self control. 53 Uitwaaien (Netherlands): 3000km of levees cannot change this phenomenon. The wind in the Netherlands has been upending tulips and bikers since the dawn of time. Not only windmills profit from bluster: People in Holland go for strolls in this windy weather and call that uitwaaien. Lagom (Swedish): If the Viking drinkinghorn allowed everyone lounging at the table to take a generous sip, they would speak of Laget om. The term has changed slightly over the centuries; however, the Swedish preference for the happy medium is unabated. Lagom has come to mean not too much but never too little. 54 Talkoot (Finnish): When those pesky elks block roads again or whenever the roof of the local kindergarten needs repair, citizens of a Finnish community meet for a Talkoot. This means uncomfortable work that needs some communal attention. Of course, this couldn’t happen without the customary eating and drinking or scrubbing the dirt off in the sauna afterward. Ølfrygt (Danish): Snow descended onto the Viking longhouses; the cold oozed in through window frames. However, inside, in toe-tingling warmth, beer glasses chinked Skåll! in unison. It’d be a perfect party if not for a paralysing fear tormenting the guests. This Viking word, literally translating as ‘ale fright’, has taken the world by storm: Ølfrygt, the fear that one might run out of beer. Esprit d‘escalier (French): “Well, uhm, mh.” Whenever that nasty secretary again drops a hint on your short skirt, you are absolutely unable to come up with any answer but for a puzzled grin. The adequate tit-for-tat response only comes to mind when you’re already on your way downstairs. – Fifty steps too late to prove your wit. 55 Koshatnik (Russian): Whoever travels through villages like Nishnij Nowogorod better bring his or her own bread. If you arrive famished and desperate for a bite, make sure to steer well clear of anything or anyone titled ‘Koshatnik.’ What might sound like a convenient take-away owner to untrained ears, is actually a seller of stolen cats. Lampadato (Italien): Every country has the type. Jogging trousers, hair dyed an obnoxious blonde, an eye-catching car with platinum rims. Their most important trait is, however, that perfect tan, even in regions and seasons where the brown could easily be mistaken for rust. The Lampadato knows to help himself and doesn’t miss a session in his favourite tanning booth. 56 Yakamoz (Turkish): “Darling, look how the moon is mirrored and reflected by the silvery sea…” Some lovers might already be asleep or have fled the scene in disgust, a true romantic might wish for a shorter term to describe his beloved phenomenon. A pity if this person does not speak Turkish, as then the matter would be settled in one word. Evgi, ask, sevda, tutku, karasevda, hoslanmak, di vane (Turkish): “You know it’s not that I don’t love you, but sometimes I love you while I love Tina, all at the same time...” Confused? Maybe you’d prefer to continue this discussion in Turkish – every kind of love has its own denomination in Turkish. Weißwurstäquator (German): The Weißwurst—a lightly coloured sausage made of veal and bacon-- just celebrated its 150th anniversary. This silly sausage has also created a serious geographic phenomenon. The Weißwurstäquator divides Germany into two. In the south, especially Bavaria, they eat it for breakfast. In the north, many think that sucking cooked veal out of a pig’s gut topped with sweet mustard is a crime (northerners normally don’t sweeten mustard, but that’s another story). No consensus exists on where the boundary runs, but you’ll be hard pressed to find people who go both ways. 57 Cold Style War Prejudices abound in this battle between an Easten sexbomb and a Western powerbabe. Stiletto vs. Sneaker, take to the ring. 58 Cold Style War Author: Julia Fuhr Marzena Lesinska Photo: Ralph Pache Translation: Adam Chrambach I’ve worn that much colour, I was five and flouting Indian’s war paint! But the feathers in my hair wouldn’t compete with the extent of your high-carat decorations. I’d feel sorry for a Christmas tree, carrying all that around. Take a look at the sky? No sun, right? Then what the devil are you doing with those sunglasses – especially with lenses that could pass for dinner plates. Your makeup makes such a thunderous impression that a hurricane would run and hide. Don’t you think that the last of your weekly visits to the hairdresser ended a shade too blonde? Your hair is so light I have to close my eyes perfect moment for a thought: Why the masquerade? Do you really think you can calculate the value of a woman in the height of her heels At least I‘m always given due warning. The unmelodious clicking of your stilettos is a warning of what is to come, and my eyes won’t take it. Please stop. I know one should steer well clear of prejudices and stereotypes. Political correctness is good for some, but allow me a tiny flirt with the stylish antagonisms between Eastern- and Western Europe. There’s an ominous clicking on Europe’s streets. You, my dear Eastern European women, have been happily prancing across Western European asphalt too long now. What’s the thing with the pointy, skybound footwear? A javelin thrower worries me less. Your thin, naked legs in those caricatures of shoes prove that well roasted chicken doesn’t just come on a plate. Who cares about the skin, what on earth do you think you’re doing to the energy crisis? If you’re not willing to be scanty here, then at least be consequent. Minimalism might be cool when it comes to art, but that shred wrapped around your ass can’t really pass as a skirt. And what’s the point of a ‘handbag’ which fits nothing but its own lining. Oh, I forgot that there’s Prada pasted on the front. You like generous labelling, don’t you, it makes you feel good about yourself in your pointless world. The amount you save around the middle and bottom you pile around the top! Leopards, tigers, snakes, and other fauna, you could go as a walking lesson on advanced zoology! All that creeping and crawling, it’s the biodiversity of the textile industry copulating with pink satin and black lace. If there were a prize for tasteless exaggeration, you’d take every category. The section on clothing is yours, hands (and cleavages) down. And I haven’t even started on that multicoloured paint pot you dive into every morning. The last time times cup size? As you blame us Western European gals for the world’s antistyle, Lady, try stepping into our blunt but stylish shoes and take a good look in the mirror—although you do that already. Style requires not superlatives but the perfect dose. I have nothing against fashion accessories of any kind, as long as I feel good beneath them. Away with the scratchy leopardskin, I want my own skin, not his – and not every square inch of it presented for public inspection. I’m sexy without a miniskirt. We women haven’t fought long and hard for emancipation for it all to go in a puff of powder smoke. And as clichéed as it sounds: true beauty glows from the inside. True beauty glows from the inside – you wish! It might be that inner values are highly regarded. But what’s a pretty product without a selling point? You know the joke about there not being an ugly woman, just a lack of wine? If I look at you Western Europeans, I have to admit that no amount of vodka is going to remedy this situation. Wherever I look, inconspicuous wallflowers from here to the horizon. want to know when your hair has seen a drying hood from the bottom. What’s the problem in making the best out of technology? Sunbeds and home-trainers are there to be used. Your stupid ascetic antics are not an excuse. Your cheeks are screaming for rouge. And if eyelashes could write wishlists, yours would have Mascara in the first line, in bold. And what about that formless cloth bag that you pretend is a jacket. Twelve year olds don’t make the style-bloopers you do, and you’re a grown woman. What were you thinking? Have you forgotten the meaning of style sense? The problems start with the footwear: shoes without heels might be comfy, but I might consider taking them to my aerobics class. My little brother wears foxier jeans than you You’re spastically running after your own authenticity; now I understand the meaning of the ugly running shoes. Lady, wake up to the fact that your personality won’t suffer from being presented in a full package—and looks are a part of that. With you, I have to say in all respect, those looks come across as unspectacular and unfeminine. I’m pretty sure that style wont survive your steady attacks. You say one scores in being natural. Could you imagine a woman might want to show what she’s got? You’re always so big on emancipation. Then don’t let your femininity be stolen like this. Use your weapons! A little more cleavage, a little less cover-ups, ok? Sexy, not unisex. Deal with it, dear, a book is, in the end, judged by its cover. Top 5 European Countries in Clothing and Footwear Expenditure, in % of total 2004 household Expenditure and my Yorkie more jewellery. Your favourite colour must be washed-out (if not washout!) and your tops are odious to look at. Face it, babe, there are collections that go beyond cotton T-shirts in three colour possibilities and way beyond the standard, five-pocket jeans. Obviously your poor choice of labels is only made worse by your general aversion to shopping. Do you live by the maxim: spoilt for choice and choices spoilt? I don’t understand the point of walking behind a gargantuan handbag that could easily pass for a shopping bag. From a style point of view, just don’t go there! Your head is topped by a “I don’t need a trim” haircut. And I don’t Greece 10.1 Italy 8.2 Portugal 7.6 Latvia 6.9 Estonia & Austria 6.7 www.eurostat.eu 59 Imprint 60 Editor in Chief Ingo Arzt Art director: Herman Radeloff Photo directors: Ralph Pache, Carina C. Kircher Translation management: Susanne Wallenöffer, Irene Sacchi Organisation: Hans Maria Heÿn, Jona Hölderle, Björn Richter Chief Editors languages: english Adam Chrambach – adam.chrambach@indigomag.eu spanish Carolina Pirola – carolina.pirola@indigomag.eu polish Zuza Szybisty – zuza.szybisty@indigomag.eu phone: +48 663 728 472 french Tania Rabesandratana – tania.rabesandratana@indigomag.eu Etienne Deshouliere italian Irene Sacchi – irene.sacchi@indigomag.eu dutch Joeri Oudshoorn – joeri.oudshoorn@indigomag.eu phone: +31 6 454 72 961 german see below indigo editorial office Dolziger Straße 39 D-10247 Berlin tel: +49 174 967 55 50 (Ingo Arzt) fax: +49 30 420 262 75 Editors and authors: Silvia Cravotta, Jochen Markett, Valeriya Krasovskaya, Frida Thurm, Martin Lafréchoux, Heike Schröder, Katharina Lötzsch, Miriam Frömel, Björn Richter, Florence Tonk, Chloé Belloc, Aaron Schuster, Julia Fuhr, Marzena Lesinska, Michael Schnackers Illustration / Retouching / Layout: Maria Messing, Maik Wiechmann, Christoph Mayer, Benjamin von Zobeltitz, Nina Weber, Anne Buch, Christoph Mayer, Verena Brandt, Jan Steinbach Photos: Mikula Lüllwitz, Wil van den Dool, Martijn de Vries, Annet Voskamp, charter97, Joab Nist, Marcelle Jamar, Carl Berger, Razzo Campanelli, Verena Brandt, Irene Sacchi, Joeri Oudshoorn, Silvia Cravotta Titel: Ralph Pache, Carina C. Kircher, Benjamin von Zobeltitz Translation: Diana Kaniewska, Piotr Kaczmarek, Karina Wojas, Robert Karsznia, Zofia Bluszcz, Maria Zawadzka, Victor Hugo Scacchi Forieri, Alessandra D’Angelo, Jorge Teunissen, Elke Zonder, Irina Dinca, Roberta Penna, Daniela Castrataro, Marco Riciputi, Giorgio Regoli, Michael Schnackers, Helmer van der Heide, Mark Petimezas, Bart van Bael, Irene Accardo, Elise van Ditmars, Amber van der Chijs, Jorge Teunissen, Nele Bulckaert, László Huszar, Marina ter Woort, Melissa Valso Contributors: Talia Delgado, Ingela West, Alba González Sanz, Vasilis Psichoyios, Timo Burmeister, Marcela Maidaniuc, Marko Andrejic, Jana Wriedt, François Angaer, Ali Egilmez, Christoph Suter, Laura Casielles, Stefan Kägebein, Tomek Szczesniak, François Gaertner, Rumen Dimitranov, Ulla Kaja Radeloff, Rainer Burggraf, Niels Richter, Carl Berger, Dana Radloff, Loesje.org Thanks to: Anne Richter, Doeko Pinxt, European Youth Press, Cafébabel. com, Forum for European Journalism Students, Plotki, Lutz, Karol Krzyczkowski, 25xEurope.com INDIGO NEEDS SUPPORT! ADVERTISMENET AND PUBLISHING HOUSE EXPERTS WELCOME Beating Poverty World number one DJ, Paul van Dyk, has scratched more than the surface of the world music scene and beyond. Now, he sits down for a turntable tete-atete: speaking out for social justice. Indigo: New York – Stockholm – Shanghai – being a famous DJ, you have seen the entire world from its bright side at night in the clubs, as well as from its dark side in the streets at daylight. Paul van Dyk: That’s true. I have seen the slums of Rio de Janeiro, Sao Paulo, or Mexico City on my journeys. My first incentive, however, came from my first show in Mumbai, India. Since that, I have really been trying to tackle the topic of child poverty. The misery I saw is simply not acceptable to me. So I contacted the German consulate on site at once to find a charity foundation. For me, Akansha seemed to have the most effective concept. They have their own schools in the slums, but their top priority is to provide food for the kids. Akansha enables children to have access to education and therefore offers a chance for a better future. 62 Beating Poverty Author: Miriam Frömel Photos: Harry Schnitger Verena Brandt Translation: Bart Schere Indigo: However, child poverty is not only a topic in threshold countries like India. UNICEF recently published a report on that topic showing a shocking result: in wealthy European countries like Germany, Great Britain, or Italy material wealth levels are declining. Paul van Dyk: Yes, Germany still is one of the richest countries in the world, but if only the people who are really in need benefited from our social security system, enough money would be available for our children. I do not want to polarise, but I am saying that as I have already done some charity work. Indigo: With your own charity project Rückenwind you support children in your hometown of Berlin. Can you actually compare the situation of children here in Germany and in India? Brown, caffeinated soda = CocaCola, self-sticking slips of paper = Post-It Notes, Electronic Music = Paul van Dyk – some brands have gone global and become terms of their own. Born in 1971, Paul van Dyk grew up in East Berlin and has become one of the most popular DJs and music producers. Apart from being awarded with the Best Producer of Techno- and House Music (British DJ Magazine), most popular DJ 2005 and 1006 (Top 100 DJ Poll at DJ Mag) and a nomination for the Grammy 2005 in the category Best Electronic/Dance Album, he has received the Landesverdienstorden (order of merit) from the city of Berlin. When he’s not at the turntable, he invests time and money in social and political projects. He has founded Rückenwind, a childrens relief project. Through the American initiative Rock the Vote he called for youths to make use of their opportunity to vote. Van Dyk’s last Album, The Politics of Dancing 2, appeared in 2005. His club remix of Justin Timberlake’s new single, What Goes Around...Comes Around, is currently in store shelves. Paul van Dyk: It is another kind of poverty. There are always people who say that it is much worse in India than here in Germany. You cannot compare poverty, as a person can only be considered poor in respect to the subjective circumstances of life. Indigo: So, against this background, who can be considered poor in Germany ? Paul van Dyk: For example, we at Rückenwind found that a lot of families have neither a computer at home nor access to the internet. However, teachers often say: “See what you can find about this topic in the internet and write it down.” So, of course, children do not want to admit that they are poor, so they just claim they did not do their homework and get a bad mark. Our priority, however, is to give those children the feeling that they mean something to us. If you think that you are nobody you do not have any incentive to learn anything. Indigo: Akansha in India, Rückenwind in Germany, Ground Zero Kids in the U.S. – these are just a few organisations supported by you. With your packed timetable and being a famous DJ, do you actually have time for all these projects? Paul van Dyk: Well, I am only part of a team in these projects. What could I really offer to these kids as an individual, besides being the clown or playing with them? Of course this is also part of my work, but we need trained pedagogues. My true role lies in the areas of investment and ideas. Indigo: What was your last specific idea? Paul van Dyk: We are planning to go to the countryside with two mini buses together with the kids so that they can see a real cow, a real pig, or real trees – and not only those dirty things they usually see here in the city. Indigo: But at least Berlin awarded you Landesverdienstorden (city merit of order) for your commitment last year – given all your music awards for best and most popular DJ, is this only another award for your trophy cabinet or can you still enjoy this award? Paul van Dyk: Of course I enjoy receiving awards, but awards are not the driving force for me to do what I do. For example, I would never change a single note to get an award. Indigo: Despite your success, you do not rest on your laurels but care about new artists in this field. You support young and interesting artists with your own label, VANDIT Records. So who is actually interesting for you? Paul van Dyk: The field of electronic music is not that different from punk music; there are some great bands and many bad ones. I would rather not talk about the bad ones now. However, I am really enthusiastic about Santiago Niño at the moment. He has roots in Guatemala, but is now living in Colombia. As Santiago is a real expert in electronic music, he joined me on my last tour through South America. Indigo: And what about European artists? Paul van Dyk: Eddie Halliwell or Adam Sharadon from Great Britain have made great songs. However, with the internet it no longer matters where you’re located. Compose a song in some village and it might become a global hit. It is no longer relevant to be in hotspots like London or Barcelona. It’s about the same question as: Where is your favourite club? For example, the Gallery in Turnmills in London is an excellent event, but if you asked me whether this is a cool club, I would say no as it is badly built. The layout is completely inappropriate. Then again, look at an event we organised in the Kesselhaus in Berlin. The special thing about this location is there’ll be a classic guitar concert the day before our show – you cannot say that it is always good or always bad. Electronic music is a global phenomenon that has its roots in Europe. But you can find people from all over who deal with this genre and are enthusiastic about it. Indigo: Your last record, which was a compilation with other artists, was called The Politics of Dancing 2. So are you tackling political phenomena with this title? Paul van Dyk: I regard electronic music as being a powerful means of connecting people from completely different historical, cultural, or religious backgrounds We should consider the number of diplomats that would be necessary for such a positive effect to set in. Indigo: Could you name an enthusiastic party? Paul van Dyk: The whole summer season on Ibiza is great. Ibiza is in Europe, but it is not only interesting from a European point of view. You can find people from anywhere there. Partygoers from Beirut would never light fireworks with some from Tel Aviv. On Ibiza, the god you believe in is not a topic.. It’s all about having a nice day and chatting with a nice person and not about politics. 63 The Perverts Guide to Cinema 64 T.P.G.t.C Author: Chloé Belloc Sophie Fiennes’ film homage to Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek (Photo) uncovers dark secrets from the depths of psychonalysis and reveals how cinema makes us believe we can handle the truth. Auteur Sophie Fiennes has called on Zizek‘s fantasies for a psychoanalystic insight on cinema. The Pervert’s Guide to Cinema is Zizek‘s questioning of cinema through psychoanalysis. He invites the viewer to ponder what cinema reveals about ourselves. Zizek’s aptitude lies precisely in that he explains his theoretical analysis through popular culture, especially cinema. His book, Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Lacan (But Were Afraid to Ask Hitchcock), is exemplary of this. Staying faithful to his provocative style, Zizek opens his guide to cinema with the announcement: “cinema is the ultimate perverted art: it does not give you what you desire, it tells you how to desire”. Zizek then starts his expedition into cinematographic country, unveiling what Hitchcock, Lynch, Chaplin, Tarkovsky, Kubrick and others reveal of our dark relationship to the unconscious, the relationship between fantasy and reality etc.. Regarding sexuality, for example, Zizek asks the question as to why we need fantasy in order to be sexually excited. Before that he, interprets Melanie’s fantasy from The Birds. While driving the boat in Bodega bay the moment she’s about to reach Mitch, she says: “I want to fuck Mitch.” In this scene, Zizek is filmed as if he were Melanie, in the same position and look. Photos: www.thepervertsguide.com Indeed, Zizek, while lecturing on his favourite movies, occupies their set. Take another example, when he explains a scene from Fight Club, where the narrator (Edward Norton) keeps kicking himself. Zizek explains in detail that this is not the expression of perverted masochism, but that in order to resist one’s enemies, one first must fight against oneself and ones slavery condition and so on… Nothing so perverse at the end - except “Zizek’s own particular brand of obscene enjoyment”. After having watched The Pervert’s Guide to Cinema, one will never again see cinema with the same passive delectation. Viewer passivity comes into question. Cinema, because of its fictional essence and the distance of the screen, is safe: it reflects our anxieties and desires while “keeping it at a secure distance, domesticating it,” as Zizek says. His explanations of Lynch represent some of the strongest moments of this documentary. Lynch creates tension in crossing the line into terrain in which we feel insecure. The documentary ends with an appeal to comprehend cinema as an essential art in our reality. Great film-makers are crucial in that they allow us to confront dimensions of our reality that we are not yet ready to. Sophie Fiennes succeeds here in turning documentary into performance; the spectator is invited not merely to watch but to live the perverted art. It‘s a Bird, it‘s a Plane, it‘s... Slavoj Žižek Aaron Schuster interviewed director Sophie Fiennes about her documentary The Pervert‘s Guide to Cinema, currently playing on the international film festi val circuit. AS: How did you develop the idea for this project, and what did you want to accomplish with it? Also: are you interested mainly in Zizek or in psychoanalysis and film theory more generally? SF: It starts with the aim to better understand something that you feel drawn to... I don‘t know what I wanted to accomplish at the start, except that I wanted to go deeper into the chosen area and I wanted to confront an audience with it too and making a film allows for that. There is always a certain amount of risk. I am very interested in psychoanalysis. I think it holds the key to something that we need more than ever, if we are to get a grip on ourselves as a species. I don‘t read much film theory outside of Zizek (...). As a film maker, I really enjoy what Zizek has to say about films, for me it‘s all very practical, theory and philosophy in one. I don‘t find myself drawn to making the kind of film portrait of an artist or philosopher where they are put in a position to talk about themselves with some kind of pretence of objectivity. I prefer to make a document of them actually doing what they do. AS: If I remember correctly, the movie ends with Zizek questioning whether cinema can face the ultimate truth of desire, or whether it obscures this truth with beautiful illusions. On the one hand, this comes close to the Nietzschean idea that “we have art so as not to die from the truth”; on the other, it also recalls Jack Nicholson’s famous line from A Few Good Men: “you want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” Cinema seems split between unveiling the real and ideological obfuscation, a problem more pressing than ever. What can we expect from cinema today, and what do you think about the notion that art’s purpose is to reveal an unbearable truth so that it becomes (a little more) bearable? This interview was first published in the Lithuanian art magazine Interviu – The Quarterly Conversation about Art. SF: I like what you have said, and I agree about this tension within cinema itself. I don’t think it can make the unbearable bearable. It is what it is…unbearable. And I think what is unbearable is anxiety itself: anxiety of guilt, meaningless, and finitude. But perhaps cinema allows us to believe we can handle ‘the truth’ – and so it helps deal with anxiety. It gives us ‘Dutch courage’ – a kind of fake belief in our capacity to bear things. That’s why it’s so enjoyable, like alcohol. Maybe we should be more humble and say this fake courage is the extent of our capacity to endure. We should not be ashamed, but like Beckett’s heroes, be ready to laugh at our misery and thus release ourselves from unbearable anxiety –through loss itself. I love what Zizek says about desire being the wound of reality. And so cinema puts us through a double blind test. It ‘plays with our desire’ and generates anxiety through this very action, which is why directors are God-like characters that bring about as much enjoyment as devastation AS: “The only good woman is a dead woman” Discuss. SF: Remember what was said prior to this; that womanly desire is threatening to men… Scottie (from Hitchcock’s Vertigo) erases Judy’s identity and turns her into a fictional woman (who is dead but never actually existed), while Judy herself is hopelessly in love with Scottie, Yet she cannot show it and the only way she can have sex with him is in her imagination. The look on her face as she emerges from the bathroom is full of so much longing and anger; I think this look is far more shocking than what Slavoj has to say, that merely reveals this terrifying dimension of the brutality between the sexes. It’s interesting how literal this image of a dead woman is in the film. If you think about the scene at the dress shop, where Judy is on the couch with Scottie…She is not wearing a bra, her voluptuous breasts are heaving under green cashmere. Pinned to her chest is a broach of white flowers, so if flowers are some kind of symbol of woman’s sex, hers is out there for Scottie to see! But Scottie erases this in favour of the grey, male ‘executive-suit’ look and the maternal as-goodas-grey hair, pulled back into a bun. I have a suspicion that this aspect of the theory falls on deaf ears to the male viewer of the Pervert’s Guide to Cinema. They hear this line of Zizek and miraculously erase the entire context – but they must wonder why the female audience enjoys this bit so much. It’s a great description of the strangeness of men and how as a woman, we can make a choice to die or not to die. I think it’s a very provocative statement and rightly so. AS: What‘s the reaction been to The Pervert‘s Guide so far? SF: People really seem to enjoy it. This is very nice for me, because it‘s twenty hours of solid transcriptionthat I wrestled with for many months... (...) It‘s amazing how much the whole line shifts, gets sharper, more threatening, or more exciting deepending on how you cut one word here or there... That‘s film making. It‘s as if Slavoj is Christ and I am Saint Paul. 65 Lordi‘s Lair Bursting into the limelight in 2006, Lordi showed the world that there’s more to Finnish music than Humppa. Guess what: There’s even more than Lordi. 66 Music Photos: Mikula Lüllwitz 367 Enochian Crescent Almost Lordi. At least semi-blackmetal-goth sound, just without orc style. Makes up for it in fame for self-mutilation. “The shortest performance I‘ve ever done was when I used a Finnish traditional knife, lapinleuku, to cut myself. I had to leave for the hospital after only two songs.” Wrath, lead singer 68 Kimmo Pohjonen Famous for his puritan sound and almost spastic dance performances, Kimmo Pohjonen plays avant-garde and electronic music on accordions. “I am the urban international masochist slave of metropolitan desires.” Tuomas, rapper and songwriter Giant Robot play a mix of rock, dub, electro and dance music. “Helsinki Rock City” was the hit in Scandinavia in the summer of 1999. They have announced a new album due this spring. 69 “You can li ve a rather peaceful life in Finland without having to fear that someone is going to attack you or that this country could end up in a war.” Janne, Vocalist Endstand Intense hardcore-punk with lots of guitar melodies and screaming vocals. Jimi Tenor Jimi Tenor started with relaxing, ironic jazzy stuff; today he plays all kind of sax-sounds. Published the album “Europa” in 1995. “We are part of your sorry arse.” Jimi Tenor‘s message from Finland to Europe Need more proof? Check out the Funky Elephant at www.funk.fi The Micragirls Hard Finnish Rock‘n Roll in 50‘s style – they are also called the new queens of lo-fi trashrock. Recent CD, “Jungle Run“, is played all over the country. 70 “Finnish citizens had very bad ‘European Song Contest’–self esteem for a long time, but now things have changed thanks to Lordi!” Mari, lead singer Bushido He‘s every teacher’s and parent’s worst nightmare. He’s seemingly risen from the depths of hell to torment their thirteen year old children with texts dripping with violence and sex. But the Berliner rapper has been hired over to the ‘good side’ and meanwhile speaks to youths about ‘respect’ and the merits of a good graduation. In that case, no one seems to care about his own premature exit from school or his detention for assault. 72 Music Autor: Frida Thurm Illustration: Christoph Mayer Translation: Tania Rabesandratana i fuck ya motha Rap has its own language to express, let‘s say, social and political matters. This issue Bushido (Bu), german rapper, battles Booba (Bo), french rapper for the title of the ‘worst text‘ all lines chosen from their songs. Bu: I’m speakin wit’ experience, wit’ sense in my heart. Bo: Keep your nose outta my business. Bu: My paths are dusty, my eyes fill with tears. Bo: I give urine donations, quench the thirst of the whole of France. Bu: You’re gay and sit in the bath with soy cookies and green tea. Don’t talk about rap if ya aint willin‘ to bleed. Bo: Dis sound, dat’s my way to tell ya to go fuck your motha. Bu: Yeah, we’re sick pigs, I’ll write you a line cause’e I busted ya uncle, and y’aunts mine. Bo: Ok, ok, smokin’ mate, it’s all I gotta do, humiliate, sweep it off, beat ‘em up, go da business class way. Bu: I wanna fuck ya motha, gayass, now it’s war. Bo: You wanna shit on us, get official, Your big shits are cut in 2, try it in your G-string. Bu: Now you’re boxin‘ and you’re motha givin‘ me her ass, yeah! Bo: I’m in the VIP corner, from the VIP fist. Bu: You want romance but I fuck wit‘ my fist. Bo: Catch the bus and suck dicks at the flea market. Bu: Yeah, I’m spittin‘ blood, cause I bite victims like ya. Bo: It’s over for ya, the Yekini crew, I fuck, I fuck, I fuck you. Bu: Yeah! Life is an assfuck! Boopa His more analytical fans describe his somewhat puzzling, aggressive, and metaphorical lyrics as ‘impressionist rap.’ Elie Yaffa, a.k.a. Booba, was born in the Parisian suburb Boulogne-Billancourt, but spent in teenage years in the hiphop hub, Detroit. Meanwhile, the Duke of Boulogne is becoming a bit of a mainstream talk-show favourite. He retains his street cred’ by recording tunes with his friends Akon, Cassie, and P. Diddy, to name a few. Preparation: Put the clean brains and testicles into a casserole dish with water, salt, some bay leaves, and a dash of white wine. Simmer for 5 minutes. When everything is cooked, remove from the casserole dish, chop, and sauté in a frying pan. Beat the eggs separately. Then add the eggs to the mixture in the frying pan and smooth out the surface. Let the mixture solidify and serve. Ingredients (six servings) 100g bull’s or lamb’s brains 100g bull’s or lamb’s testicles extra virgin olive oil one glass of white wine six eggs onions carrots pepper salt Cooking the refined palate Author: Irene Sacchi Photos: Claude Dagenais, Sieto Verver, Matthew Cole The Spanish answer to Viagra: Tortilla Sacromonte. Swallow this and liberate your libido! and olive oil dressing three days in a row, “to give more energy and soul.” The European population grows older, birth rates are dropping, youths stay at home longer, and divorces outnumber marriages. At the same time in a smiling quarter of Andalusia, Spain, life takes the slow lane between sun, wine, tapas, and flamenco. While the French experiment with frogs, the Italian with oysters, the Germans with celeriac, the Poles with beer, the Hungarians with the blood of freshly slaughtered pigs, and the rest of the world with those little blue pills, the Andalusians hoard their little secret. It all began in the 18th century, in Sacromonte, the gypsy quarter of Granada, home to artists and artisans. Every first of February, for the celebration of San Cecilio, the city abbot prepared a lavish banquet to honour the high society of Granada. The night before the feast, according to legend, burglars broke into the abbey and pilfered the entire food supply. Searching the canteen desperately for a solution, the good man found a bag in which the butcher had left the “family jewels” of the stolen animals. He could think of only one recipe on the spur of the moment. In De Medicamentis Libri, Marcello Empirico recommended eating bull’s genitals in a honey The priest rolled up his sleeves and hit the stove. He laid the cleaned brains and testicles into a casserole dish with water and a dash of white wine. He let the ingredients simmer for five minutes. He fried sliced onions, carrots and pepper in olive oil in a deep pan. He peeled the testicles like one would potatoes and chopped them into very little pieces together with the brains. He beat the eggs separately and he added everything into the pan. He left all the ingredients to solidify like a regular tortilla and served the dish for dinner. Did the abbot want to prove to the high society of Granada the miracles of God, to improve the area’s birth rate or simply please his unaware guests? He certainly created a recipe with miraculously aphrodisiac qualities, a recipe that was passed down the generations until it arrived, steaming on our table. A “Tortilla Sacromonte” is served as a traditional dish in most restaurants in Andalusia. Especially during the San Cecilio celebration they go like hotcakes. Most people say the meat tastes like chicken (what doesn’t), others see it as an unrivalled speciality. Whatever its flavour, it remains the case that Andalusia, according to the official statistic from the Instituto Nacional de Estadística, has the highest birth rate of all of Spain. 73 16 2 Belgium 15 1 Austria 13 17 12 3 Bulgaria 11 18 10 4 Croatia 9 19 8 5 Germany 7 20 Poland 6 6 Estonia 5 Finland 4 Lithuania Luxembourg Malta Monaco Netherlands 28 Sweden 14 Latvia 27 13 Cyprus 26 Czech Republic 12 Italy 25 Spain 11 Hungary 24 Slovakia 10 Denmark 23 Slovenia 9 Greece 22 Romania 8 France 21 7 Portugal United Kingdom Find each postbox‘s country – no prizes to be won, but maybe you‘ll recognise one when you‘re on holiday! Post-Modern 1 2 3 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 This magazine was made possible thanks to the kindly support of cafebabel.com.