Students elect SUSU Exec 06/07

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9th March 2006
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Local News
Page 2
Soton students under attack
Three students beaten unconscious near Monte Halls Policeman allegedly assaults
Attackers phone one victim’s parents to brag
student held in prison cell
David Gold
Three Southampton University
students were attacked and badly assaulted near their halls last
Saturday. The female and two
male students were beaten unconscious. The incident, which
Detective Constable Tom Plummer has called “an unprovoked
attack”, took place at 11.15pm
on Langhorn Road, near the
Wessex Lane complex.
The two attackers were wearing light grey hooded tops and
fled the scene soon after only to
return and steal one of student’s
wallets and mobile phone. They
then called the victims parents’
to “laugh and gloat” the mother of the victim told the Wessex
Scene.
All three victims were taken to
Southampton General Hospital
where they were kept overnight.
The woman needed stitches and
one of the men was left with a
possible fractured eye socket.
This is the most high-pro-
file in a recent spate of attacks
against students and highlights
the growing problems of youth
gang culture today. Compared
to the rest of the UK, Southampton has a relatively low robbery
rate with one in one thousand
falling victim to robbery compared to thirteen in every thousand in Manchester. However,
this does not belie the fact that
student safety is becoming a major concern. A report published
recently showed that 38% of
students don’t feel safe walking
back to their halls of residence
after dark. 49% of girls feel unsafe and 42% of international
students feel uncomfortable at
night. Many have argued that
the University and City Council
needs to do more to protect students, who are especially vulnerable due to the times at which
they are out in the city.
However, some have argued
that students need to take more
responsibility for their own safety. A study by a Criminology
student at Southampton University last year showed that often
students fail to take even basic
safety precautions on a night
out and end up walking home
alone. In a society where there is
a potential danger around every
street corner it is important that
students don’t lose sight of the
subconscious risks they take on
a daily basis.
If anyone has any information regarding any attacks they
are encouraged to ring Hampshire Police on 0845 0454545 or
speak to Crimestoppers anonymously
on
0800 555
111.
Matthew La Seyah
A third year Southampton University student is pursuing a
complaint against a police officer after claims that he was subjected to “more than reasonable
force” during his detention.
The alleged incident occurred
in the early hours of Friday, 24
March, in the cells of Southampton Central Police Station.
The student was detained under
Section Five of the Public Order
Offences Act after a friend he
was with was involved in a
fight in The Soul Cellar on
West Marlands
Road in Southampton.
The student was
released in the early hours
of Friday morning and went
to hospital where a medical report found lacerations to the
face, as well as bruising to the
neck and torn ligaments in the
elbow, which it is claimed are
consistent with the accusations
of more than reasonable force.
When asked for comment the
student replied: “I was in shock
when the incident
was
happening, I didn’t think that this
kind of thing actually happened.”
An investigation into the alleged event has been launched.
Police uncover cannabis cartel
Police raids of nine Southampton homes over the past few
months have resulted in the seizure of an estimated £1 million
worth of cannabis plant. This
staggering estimate is regarded
as conservative, based upon a
single crop of the plant at each
property. The homes have been
described by police as “cannabis factories” where the drug
was being produced in bulk. It
is thought that the police have
broken up a network in the city
that forms part of the national
production and supply of the
Class C drug.
In the latest raid, at a semi-detached home in Wilton avenue,
Shirley, £200,000 worth of the
drug was uncovered; this was
one of the biggest single hauls
so far, though it was in relation
to the size of the house being
used for production. Police had
to remove more than 800 plants
at various stages of growth. Of-
ficers were led to the address,
and to an address in Radcliffe
road, Northam, where they uncovered £90,000 worth of cannabis plants, by previous raids.
These raids included homes in
the Basset area on 13 February, where they found £120,000
worth, and a raid at a property
on the Inner Avenue on 9 February, where just over £100,000
of the plant was discovered. The
cannabis factories are believed
to be linked in a network and
Det Sgt Dave Jackson claims that
the “series of cannabis factories
we are finding in Southampton
… fits a national intelligence picture”.
The police also discovered
that roughly £64,000 worth of
electricity had been stolen by
bypassing the main grid. This
was used to power the heating
Photo: Infidel Photos
Hayley Dixon
Police bust cannabis ring in raids which have seen the seizure of over £1 million worth of the drug
and lighting systems that were
used to encourage growth, the
equipment for which has also
been seized. Upon searching
the houses, officers found that
they had been almost entirely
converted, including the roof
space, into what was allegedly
an intensive growing operation.
All the properties that have been
raided have been privately rented and police are encouraging
diligence from both landlords
and the local community to help
them stamp out drug-related
crime.
All those arrested throughout the series of raids have been
bailed by police pending further
enquires.
The raids come at a time
when the Hampshire police, and
police nationwide, are cracking
down on the illegal drugs trade.
Operation Phoenix, which has
already seen two high profile
dawn-raids, is ongoing proof of
the crackdown against drug related crime.
Local News
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Record number of votes in the SU Elections
Gareth Hynes
A new team is preparing to
take the reigns of the Students’
Union after record numbers of
students voted during this year’s
Union Executive elections. A
little shy of 4000 students cast
their votes, more than any previous year. Ben Rogers won the
Presidency comfortably: with
2035 votes he nearly doubled
the votes polled by his nearest
competitor, Jonathan Dando.
The position of Vice President
Media & Communications was
a more hotly-contested battle.
After two rounds of voting and
with Helen “Piggy” Pearson
marginally ahead of Phil Webb
up until the third round, Phil
was finally declared the winner
by just 48 votes. Gracious in victory, he went to console an understandably devastated Piggy.
“Big Chris” Whittaker was elected Vice President Education in a
close battle, most notably with
Jonathan Hancock. Toby Kushner on the other hand was fairly
comfortably voted in as Vice
President Welfare & Societies, as
was Issy Gross for AU President
- the votes for Issy more than
doubling the number of votes
cast for opponent Alistair “Lewie” Lewis. But it was Dan Hemsley’s re-election as Winchester
President that represented the
trouncing of the night; he polled
7000% more votes than his rival, RON, who stole one vote.
Michael McWilliams as Societies Officer and Lucy Golding as
Equal Opportunities Officer also
had large margins of victory.
Nearly one-in-five students at
Southampton University voted
this year. Despite fears that the
enthusiastic campaigning was
putting students off, especially
on the Union concourse where
campaigners often outnumbered voters, this figure beats
last year’s, when the campaigns
were more subdued, and com-
pares favourably with the levels
of participation achieved at other
universities around the country.
With internet voting increasing from 44% last year to 64%
this time around, much of this
rise will be due to the Union’s
forward-thinking purchase of
the online voting system. With
sites such as the SGH registering
just 28 votes, it would appear
that this will increasingly become the method of choice for
voting. See Editorial page 8.
The CUBE licence appeal
Ashleigh Toll
After months hanging in the balance, the future of The CUBE’s
late licence has finally been decided. A court hearing on 21 and
22 February has ruled that The
Cube is to have the its late licence reduced; in most instances
last entry time will be 11.30pm
and the venue will close at 1am.
The Wessex Scene reported
last year that Southampton City
Council has been inundated
with complaints from frustrated
Highfield residents, angry about
the excessive noise and drunken
antics of students in the early
hours. The Highfield Residents’
Association, which is made up of
around 1500 residents, including
staff, students and employees of
the University, registered a large
number of complaints over the
past months about damaged
property and disturbances made
by students coming home after
a night out.
Despite The CUBE opening
only two or three nights during
the week, the number of complaints meant that there were
sufficient grounds to appeal for
the venue’s late licence to be reduced, or even revoked.
This latest appeal came at an
unfortunate time for students:
had the licence renewal been
considered under the new licencing act, which came in to effect
after the appeal was made, local
residents would have had significantly less input into the final
decision.
The student population of the
University currently stands at
over around 20,000 - just over
20% of Southampton’s total
population. Yet many students
have been left angered by the
result of the appeal and feel
that they have not been represented in a fair manner and are
being blamed for the behaviour
of people returning from many
venues across the city.
SUSU has made many attempts in the past to tackle sirresponsible drinking and reduce
late night noise, including em-
ploying security wardens to patrol the Highfield area and handing out free lollipops to those
students leaving The CUBE to
encourage them to keep quiet.
A free shuttle bus also operates
alongside the existing night bus.
Despite these commendable
efforts and the Union’s repeated
requests for students to return
home quietly, it appears that the
actions of a very small minority
has now affected the rest of the
student body.
Following last week’s decision, Andy Wilson, SUSU President, said: “Despite the reducation, we are pleased with the
outcome of this appeal hearing.
The CUBE now has two 2am licences. Obviously we wanted to
keep our original opening hours,
but have accepted the ruling of
the court as a fair compromise.”
Whilst the perception that,
outside of the lecture theatre,
students live in their local isn’t
entirely false, the decision to
reduce the late licence for the
Cube is an unfortunate result for
the many students who enjoy
a night out after a busy day of
studying, and overshadows the
many positive contributions that
students make in the local community.
Augustand hoped to be finished
by December 2007. Although
initially the cost of rebuilding the
facility was estimated at £25million that figure has now risen to
a massive £70 million.
The fire of 30 October 2005
was the largest that Hampshire
Fire and Rescue tackled last year
and the official cause is still unknown.
But University staff believe
that the devastation has provided them with an incredible opportunity for improvement. The
devastated building was home
to the ECS and ORC and already
an internationally recognised
state-of-the-art facility. There is
a positive feeling that from the
ashes there will arise something
even better. Despite the loss of
years of leading research, staff
and students have pulled together, and the Regenesis Project, as it has become known, has
seen temporary laboratories created and help given to research
students.
Students traumatised by the
effects of the fire have been offered counselling and the insurance claim is set to cover the cost
of those extending their studies
or continuing their work at other
universities.
The University says that undergraduate teaching and facilities were not affected by the
fire, and UCAS applications are
being processed as normal. At
this stage in the academic year
it is difficult to ascertain whether
the fire has affected applications.
However, as the Vice-Chancellor
Professor Bill Wakeham recognises, “The Mountbatten fire
was probably the most traumatic
experience in our working lives
that many of us will ever have to
deal with.”
Before the fire, the University
had already been looking into
a refurbishment of the Mountbatten facilities and therefore
the fire, devastating as it was,
has provided an opportunity
to start again, replacing worldrecognised facilities with worldbeating facilities. The plans for
the new £70m building will enhance the research capability of
the ECS and OCR and will mean
that Southampton researchers
have the best equipment and
facilities in the world.
See our interview with Wendy
Hall, Head of ECS on page 11.
Revellers at The CUBE can still party the night away until 2am on two nights a week
Fire damage now stands at £70m
Hayley Dixon
Plans for the new ‘Mountbatten
Building’ are steaming ahead
after the largest university insurance claim in the UK ever second in the world only to the
claims following the floods in
New Orleans.
Following the fire the regeneration of the lost facilities have
topped the University’s agenda,
Architects are currently drawing
up plans for the new development, to be presented within a
matter of weeks. The building
work is expected to commence in
National News
Page 4
Pro-Test at Oxford University
Emma Lenanton
Hundreds of people marched
through the streets of Oxford on
Saturday, 25 February, in support of a new £18 million animal
testing research facility which is
being built at Oxford University.
The protest took place in reaction to serious threats and
damage to property caused by
extremists who are vehemently
against animal testing. The construction of the facility has been
at the centre of violent objections from animal rights activists
since July 2004, when the construction company halted work
on the project following the
sending of threatening letters to
their shareholders. Work on the
facility has recently resumed but
now animal rights campaigners
are widening their activities to
target firms connected to the
University.
“The whole of Oxford, not
just the University, faces disruption if the research plans aren’t
shelved,” states Robin Webb,
press officer for the Animal Liberation Front (ALF), the extrem-
Students protest at being made a target by animal rights activists
ist animal rights organisation
responsible for the damage to
property and threats over the
construction of the laboratory.
However, speaking at the
protest on Saturday, the local
Liberal Democrat MP, Evan Harris, emphatically asserted the
opposite. He stated that the extremists would never win and
also claimed that animal rights
protestors had undermined their
cause by their extreme actions.
Later in his speech, he spoke in
support of the people involved
in animal testing.
“My message to the technicians, the researchers and anyone who carries out biomedical
research is that you are heroes:
you are underpaid, under pressure and under-praised.”
The ALF have been responsible for extensive damage to
property and have targeted everyone from professors to stu-
dents. They claim full responsibility for their actions and have
asserted their opinions in a variety of ways. These range from
targeting an Oxford University
Staff Christmas party in December 2005 to damaging property,
including spray painting garage
doors, office walls and cars, and
even an arson attack on the Oxford University Boat House, setting fire to 24 boats and causing £500,000 worth of damage.
Weeks earlier, a 55-year-old
female animal researcher and
former Southampton University
student was found stabbed 49
times and strangled in her Oxfordshire flat.
Animal testing has been a
contentious issue for decades.
Thalidomide, a drug that was
tested on animals, created a
scandal in the late 1950s and
1960s when it was discovered
that, it had caused the birth defects in 15,000 foetuses. Animal
rights protestors have used this
case as justification for stopping
animal testing. However, those
who support animal testing believe the answer to this is not
less but better testing.
The protest on the streets of
Oxford on Saturday against the
extreme actions of the ALF was
led by Laurie Pycroft, a 16-yearold student who set up Pro-Test,
the organisation supporting animal testing, with the idea of defending the research facility. Pycroft has already received death
threats and hate mail and has
been warned to “back down a
bit” by the police.
Student anger at gay blood ban
Kerry Standerwick
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and
Transgender (LGBT) student
groups across the UK have set
up a campaign highlighting the
ban on gay and bisexual men
donating blood, a policy which
they consider “discriminatory”.
The campaign, run by the NUS
LGBT officers, encourages students to “Give Blood Because
Gay and Bisexual Men Can’t”.
Under current National Blood
Service (NBS) policies, men who
have or have ever had oral or
anal sex with men are not accepted for donation, as they
constitute a ‘high-risk’ group for
blood-borne infections, including HIV and Hepatitis. The NUS
LGBT campaign believes these
policies perpetuate an antiquated view of the gay community,
where HIV and AIDS are seen
as primarily ‘gay diseases’. They
also believe these policies “prevent willing and healthy members of the community from
giving blood and exacerbate the
current blood shortage.” They
are campaigning for individual
behaviour to be taken into account, rather than making a
group judgement they would
like to see the service accepting
blood from monogamous men
who practise safer sex.
Since 1985 all blood has been
screened for Hepatitis B and
Hepatitis C, and HIV. There are
also strict restrictions on donation with regard to sexual behaviour, intravenous drug use
and piercings. The main reason
for these strict policies, still in
place despite the screening, is
the window period which occurs
after infection. Although blood
is screened at each donation, viruses such as HIV can be present
but undetectable by screening
methods for up to three months
after initial infection. The policies are there to lower the possibility of infected blood passing
screening and infected patients,
and work by excluded known
high-risk groups. The National
Blood Service considers men
Strict laws prevent blood donation by gays and bisexuals
who have sex with men a ‘high- 2004 likely to have been acrisk’ group.
quired in the UK, 75% of these
The blood service collects were among gay and bisexual
around three million donations men.
per year. Of these around 40 are
The Wessex Scene spoke
found to contain HIV; between to Louise Coxon from the NBS
a third and a half of these come Southampton about the issue.
from gay or bisexual men. Of “Our primary concern is to enthe 7275 new diagnoses of HIV sure that the blood we provide
made in 2004 the majority of for patients is as safe as possible.
cases (4287) were diagnosed in Evidence suggests that if we
heterosexual men and women, were to begin accepting men
73% of whom were likely to who have had sex with other
have been acquired it in Africa. men as donors, the incidence of
Of the new HIV diagnoses in HIV in the blood supply would
increase. Additionally, the lifelong exclusion of men who have
sex with men from donating
blood does not substantially affect the number of men able to
donate.”
The NBS policies are tightly
regulated in order to prevent a
recurrence of one of the gravest
treatment disasters in the history
of the NHS. In the 1970s and
1980s many haemophilia patients and others reliant on blood
products were unknowingly infected with Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C and HIV through infected
blood. This tragedy was due to
a combination of poor screening
of ‘high-risk’ groups and the importing of blood products from
America, where donors were
paid for their blood. Nowadays
donors are not paid (except
in smiles, tea and biccies) but
receive the step-springing encouragement that they have, as
safely as possible, made a real
difference to someone’s life.
To give blood phone 08457 711
711 or visit www.blood.co.uk.
National News
www.wessexscene.co.uk
25% of students teetotal?
Jo Miles
Certain hazy images may come
to mind when thinking of the
word “student”. The term has
long been associated with boozing and snoozing in an apparent
lack of healthy lifestyle, but a
new study seems set to turn this
stereotype around.
The National Union of Student Services has found that
one in four students are teetotal. With an increasing amount
of television programmes telling us “What not to eat” and
encouraging us to swap the
pub for the gym, it seems that
students may be participating
in a new health conscious era.
The Unite survey, carried out by
Mori, has shown that there is a
13% fall in students going to the
pub compared to five years ago.
Students are finding more relief
from studying by doing physical
exercise rather than drinking.
NUS services also aim to promote this change in attitudes, as
plans have been made to provide healthy juice bars in Stu-
correct, it seems that future students may be in for a surprise
when they arrive at University.
Veronica King, Vice President
for Welfare at the National Union
of Students argues that students
are not swapping the booze for
exercise at all. She claims that
less students are going down the
pub simply because they cannot
afford it. “You’re more likely to
find a student working behind
a bar,” she says, “than drinking in front of one these
days.” It is certainly
an
interesting
coincidence that as
student debt rises, fewer students are going to the pub.
But can this survey really convince us that students are opting for a healthier lifestyle? Nick
Pickles, president of Durham
Students’ Union, points out that
the study has not accounted for
drinking in clubs and bars and
alcohol bought in shops and
supermarkets. Students spending less time in the pub may not
necessarily mean that students
are drinking less.
dents’ Unions. The welfare section of the NUS has also begun
to encourage Unions to hold
more events in an alcohol-free
environment.
With the rise of fashionable
exercise, such as yoga and pilates, some doubt the permanency of this apparent change in
attitudes, thinking on it as a passing phase.
Nick
Emms of
NUS Services,
however, sees
the change as an enduring one,
which will “become more pronounced in the next four or five
years”. If his prediction proves
Tea or Tia-Maria?
Southampton University offers a variety of sporting clubs
and societies and it remains to
be seen whether they will continue running their social events
in the many pubs and bars
that Southampton has to offer.
Sports and drinking may seem a
contradiction in terms but in order for students to stay teetotal,
drinking must stop be considered a sport.
iPods to improve learning March on London
Katy Hamilton
Technological advances in the
education system could revolutionise the student learning
experience thanks to boffins at
Harvard University’s Medical
School. Nine o’clock lectures
could be a thing of the past if
the University’s successful use of
iPods as educational tools catches on at other academic institutions.
Students access their latest
lectures on a web portal such as
Blackboard, the service used to
support teaching at Southampton University. These can then
be downloaded onto iPods using podcasting technology so
that students can learn at their
leisure. Those with compatible
devices can even watch videos
and skip to the parts of the lecture that they are most interested in.
According to a spokesperson
from Harvard Medical School,
68% of students have iPods.
The use of podcasting technol-
ogy in education was therefore a
logical step, and one with which
other universities will be forced
to compete. Although not yet
offering podcasts of lectures,
Imperial College is planning to
provide students with a range
of video and audio services. The
University of Wales is even investigating how mobile phones
can be incorporated into the
learning process.
Even though universities are
quick to point out that most
students have access to modern
technology, this recent development will ultimately raise the
question of whether students
who cannot afford the latest
gadgets will be at a disadvantage. Students who are in particular need of learning support
will be the first to benefit from
the provision of equipment by
funding bodies.
Introduced initially as a result of the Disability Discrimination Act, the new technology will prove most beneficial
to students who find it difficult
to take notes. Linda Robertson,
Southampton University’s Assistive Technology Officer, said:
“There are some local authorities that have identified iPods
as a means of recording lectures
and so provide the equipment.”
However, the Assistive Technology Service does not provide individuals with equipment, other
than laptops. There is also the
issue of whether lecturers would
allow their lectures to be downloaded into other formats, even
if equipment was available.
Ben Boulton
Medical students are to converge
on London during the 1 March
in order to protest against the
implementation the of Top Up
Fee policy for graduate medical students. Under government
proposals, students who are
studying medicine as a second
degree will not be able to apply for a student loan in order to
meet the proposed costs of Top
Up Fees. A number of student
activists have expressed concern
that such a policy will undermine Labour reforms attempting
to widen social access to British
universities.
Student graduates will only
be able to apply to the student loan company for loans to
cover living expenses, not the
proposed Top Up Fees. The issue is of particular concern as
it is widely expected that most
medical schools will charge the
full £3000 per year for Top Up
Fees. School leavers will still be
allowed to apply to the student
loan company for loans to pay
both living and tuition costs.
Graduate students who apply to study medicine as a second degree will face paying
tuition fees of around £12,000
to £15,000. The BMA Medical Students Committee has
expressed concern that the absence of financial support in the
form of a student loan will result
in access to such courses being
restricted to those from affluent
backgrounds. Medical students
have also been quick to voice
their concerns. Kate Stein, for
instance, maintains that without
a loan it would not have been
possible to pursue her dream of a
career within medicine. Another
medical student, Carolyn Scott,
raises the concern that “there
will be less diversity in medical
schools and ‘working class’ applicants will be discouraged from
applying.”
Protestors believe the reform
will restrict the very education
system that the government is
attempting to expand.
Politics
Page 6
Shorthand Politics
Peter Lamb
Celebrating the Politics Section’s
return to two pages we bring
you Shorthand Politics, a summary of the big politics stories of
the last three weeks in only one
article.
An investigation is underway to discover if Tessa Jowell,
Culture Secretary, is guilty of
breaching the ministerial code.
Her husband has been accused
of accepting a bribe to speak at
a trial investigating Silvio Berlusconi, the Italian Prime Minister,
on grounds of corruption. It has
been implicated that the bribe
was linked to a joint loan taken
our by Ms Jowell and her husband. If found guilty the Culture
Secretary will have to resign her
cabinet post.
A bill criminalising the glorification of terrorism has been
sent back to the House of Commons from the House of Lords.
The Terrorism Bill which saw
Tony Blair lose his first vote in
the commons earlier in the year
is seen by many to impinge on
traditional civil liberties, yet the
government and security forces
argue that it is necessary.
There is to be a total ban on
smoking in bars, clubs, pubs and
restaurants in the UK, the government had pushed for a partial ban but eventually gave in
under pressure from campaigners and back-bench Labour MPs
opting instead for a full ban.
The HN51 bird flu virus is on
the move again, with reports of
the disease spreading into Europe and Africa, with birds as
close as France being infected.
The UK government ruled out
immunisation of wild birds despite the policy being implemented in several EU countries.
David Irving, the historian
who infamous for denying the
holcaust’s existence, has been
sentenced to three years imprisonment in Austria where
Holocaust denial is a crime. The
prosecution is attempting to appeal the sentence in an attempt
to get a maximum ten year sentence.
Dick Cheney shot a fellow
hunter whilst out on a hunting
expedition, wounding the man
facially and bodily. The man has
since been released from hospital and reportedly bears no ill
will towards the Vice-President.
A proposal, which would see
US ports come under the control
of a Dubai company, has come
under fire from both Democrats
and Republicans on the basis of
concerns over security. The government has tried to minimise
concerns by explaining that security will remain in American
hands.
The Prime Minister of Taiwan,
Chen Shui-bian, has declared
that a council whose purpose
was to plan the reunification of
the island with mainland China
will now cease to exist. China
has issued a warning following
the decision and the already
tense relations between the two
countries have been exacerbated by the act.
Tensions remain high in the
Middle East too following the
election of Hamas in Palestine
earlier this year. The new parliament has been sworn in with
over half of the members belonging to the terrorist party. Attempts by the US and the EU to
moderate some of Hamas’ views
and gain recognition of the Israeli state continue, though they
have been unsuccessful so far.
Suspected Sunni terrorists
have bombed one of the most
holy shrines for Shia Muslims in
Iraq. The attack comes at a time
when tensions are raised between the groups in the country.
The proposed unity government
has still not emerged despite the
significant pressure of coalition
nations. Sectarian rioting has
followed the explosion, with nu-
merous fatalities. Fears are that
the country may now fragment
or descend into a civil war.
Iran has admitted to resuming a nuclear enrichment programme, denying that the purpose was to construct a nuclear
weapon. The act has received
condemnation from Europe and
America with tough penalties
under consideration as the matter is referred to the UN.
Local elections have been
postponed in Egypt, it is believed to be part of the government’s attempt to keep power
out of the hands of the Muslim
Brotherhood, a party banned in
Egypt. The decision was criticised by Condoleezza Rice the
American Secretary of State during her recent visit.
The Darfur region of Sudan
has returned to the international
stage due to continued violence,
despite the considerable efforts
of African Union troops. The
UK’s International Development
Minister, Hilary Benn, visited the
region promising more aid from
the UK, and George Bush has
recommended the deployment
of NATO forces to replace the
current African Union force.
The first election in Uganda in
twenty-five years has returned
to power the current President,
Yoweri Museveni. However the
election has been criticised by
a rival candidate who claims to
have found many unsealed ballot boxes. International observers are looking into the claim.
President Bush faces pressure on the sale of American ports
Politics
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Nights out with the lights out
Alistair Brockbanks
The week of the 13 February
saw three seminal changes in
British politics, none unfortunately in the Valentine’s spirit.
ID cards should now be phased
in from 2008 and anti-terrorism laws including the offence
of ‘glorification’ of terrorism
was passed through the Commons. However, perhaps most
importantly for the general
public, the 2006 Health Bill was
passed, which from next summer will outlaw smoking in most
public places. Cancer Research
UK called this “the biggest step
forward in public health in fifty
years”. Indeed with the research
proving the danger of smoking
and second-hand smoke many
campaigners are left asking why
this bill has taken so long to appear.
Despite previous government
wishes for a partial ban MPs voted by a margin of 200 to opt for
a complete ban in most public
places, such as pubs and clubs.
From summer 2007 smoking will be banned in public places in the UK
A Chinese Gulf
Linden Talbot
The growth of the Chinese economy and predictions that the
country will replace the US as
the dominant economic power
within two decades have resulted in the state being courted by
American and European governments. But if a flashpoint exists
between China and the West it
is Taiwan: the Cold War wound
which has never healed.
The ever-present possibility
of conflict grew more palpable
last month when the Taiwanese
Prime Minister, Chen Shui-bian,
declared that the National Unification Council, the body commissioned to organise the reunification of the island with China,
would cease to exist.
Mr Chen became the first
democratically elected leader of
Taiwan in 2000, in an attempt
to avoid a clash with China he
promised not to formally declare independence, destroy the
previous regime’s blueprint for
reunion or abolish the National
Unification Council. It is for this
reason that the Prime Minister
declared that the Council ceased
to exist rather than declaring
it abolished, a difference that
mainland China claims is merely
wordplay.
China does not consider Taiwan to be independent of the
mainland, seeing it instead as
a lapsed state, and it wants it
back. Since 1949, when Communists won the Chinese Civil
War, Taiwan has been the last
refuge of the Nationalist regime previously dominant on
the mainland, and although for
a while it represented China in
the UN, eventually Beijing replaced it on the world stage.
The US pledged not to abandon
Taiwan and has allowed the sale
of considerable quantities of
arms to the state over the years.
The resulting arms race between
China and Taiwan went on for
decades, but with the growth in
the Chinese economy Taiwan is
losing ground and it is in light of
the growing military threat towards the island that Mr Chen
claims that this declaration was
made.
China, who branded the Taiwanese Prime Minister a troublemaker earlier in the year for a
speech hinting at independence,
rather then backing down has
warned Taiwan that its choice
risks disaster.
The US response to the crisis
is that it endorses the status quo
and says that since the Council
has not been abolished recent
actions only serve to reconfirm
what was already the case.
China is determined to see
Taiwan reunite with the mainland, yet Mr Chen seems to want
to see the divisions between the
two countries put plain to the
Taiwanese and the world.
If neither side relents it is obvious that some reconciliation
will need to be reached and any
such event is likely to involve
the military on some level. The
US, as always, remains on the
side of Taiwan, but as China-US
relations develop and as China
gains more power this relationship might find itself in terminal
decline.
Whatever happens, Taiwan
remains the bugbear of relations
between China and the West
and as such it will have increasing importance as China’s position in the world develops.
However more private places
such as people’s homes and hotel rooms will not be subject to
the ban. Once the ban is implemented anyone caught smoking
will be given a £50 fixed penalty notice, much like a parking
ticket.
The government has calculated that around 700,000 of
England’s ten million smokers
will give up as a result of the
ban, the effect on passive or
‘secondary’ smoking is harder to
calculate, but it is likely to follow a similar pattern. This may
go someway to alleviating the
estimated £1.7bn cost of smoking on the NHS. These health
benefits are disputed by the
pro-smoking lobby who simply
argue that the same people will
continue to smoke at home and
on the street.
Pro-smoking organisations,
such as FOREST (a smokers’
group), believe the law to be
illiberal, arguing that the government has no business denying smokers the right to smoke.
But anti-smoking groups refer to
this as hypocritical; pointing out
that smoking violates the rights
of others not to have to inhale
smoke whenever they go out
The banning of smoking in
the UK has been a long time
coming since the first evidence
of the dangers of smoking decades ago and perhaps this will
form a genuine part of Tony
Blair’s legacy. From summer
2007 England’s public spaces
will be smoke free and patrons
of the Stags Head will only have
liver damage and the lack of an
apostrophe in its name to worry
about.
For more on the Smoking Ban,
see Debate page 10.
Alistair Brockbanks presents the
CrossCurrent radio show on
SURGE, Thursdays 2-4pm.
Comment
Page 8
Promises, promises...
Gareth Hynes
The evening of Wednesday, 1
March, was certainly an interesting one. The results of the
Students’ Union elections were
announced in the Stags Head
in what proved to be a night of
drama and high emotion.
Candidates looked genuinely
petrified pacing up and down
as first Surge Radio announced
the results of their exit polls and
then Andy Wilson, current SUSU
President, announced the winners: those who would be taking
charge of the £6.5 million business that is the Students’ Union
in four months’ time. “Numb”,
“speechless” and “thanks” were
almost the only words the winners could muster at the time.
After they’ve worked on their
speech-making abilities this
team will start to look to their
pledges from these elections and
start trying to find ways of car-
rying them out, or of thinking of
excuses as to why they couldn’t
possibly be carried out.
Here at the Wessex Scene we
aim to keep tabs on this over the
next year. We’ve listed here for
the public record what we feel
are the main promises that each
candidate made - the pledges on
which you voted them in - and
we’ll return to it periodically to
see how things have been progressing.
Ben Rogers - SUSU President
• better facilities
• better accommodation
• tighter security
• common rooms at sites
• reduced queues at the Union’s venues
• adequate facilities for all
Clubs and Societies
Also: less soap stars and more
top bands from all genres, a bus
from The CUBE to Winchester
and subsidised Ball ticket prices
Phil Webb - VP Media and
Communications
• more resources to improve
Surge’s production quality
• more new material in the
Wessex Scene
• increased sponsorship for
the Wessex Scene
Also: a strengthened sites and
course reps system and a SUSU
established as a quality all-round
venue
Toby Kushner - VP Welfare and
Societies
• mutually beneficial relationship with our neighbours in
the local community
• improved lighting between
Highfield and Avenue
• greater support for and promotion of Nightline
• regular RAG events
Also: student bible of cheap and
healthy meals, a stop smoking
initiative and boosted volunteer
participation
Christopher Whittaker - VP
Education and Representation
• interactive, challenging and
stimulating lectures
• feedback on evaluations
• no major coursework deadline falling within one week
of the beginning of the
exam period
Also: cutting edge facilities in
the lab and performing arts studios and improved personal tutor complaint system
Issy Gross - Athletic Union
President
• all Clubs to have access to
training areas
• large AU events like a summer sports day
• campaigns for healthy living
through exercise, diet and
training
Dan Hemsley - Winchester
President
• keep learning and improving
Lucy Golding - Equal Opps
Officer
• educate all students in understanding and compassion
between minority groups
Also: focus on specific student
issues such as alcohol, abuse,
bullying and staying safe
Michael McWilliams - Societies
Officer
• boost participation in societies
Also: support and nurture the
full range of societies available
here at Southampton University
So there you have it, the rundown of the most important of
the pledges made by those who
will take over the running of the
Students’ Union in four months’
time. It remains to be seen
whether next year’s team will be
as competent as this year’s, but
the Wessex Scene will be there
to keep watch.
The animal research protests
Jack Thompson
Despite the condemnation of
terrorism in New York, Afghanistan and Ireland the Animal Liberation Front (ALF) and its associated splinter groups are busy
declaring war on the streets of
Oxford. The problem seems
to be the development of the
new medical research facility
in South Parks Lane. While the
more rational individuals among
us might think that furthering of
research into asthma, arthritis,
diabetes and cancer (to name
but a few) would be something
to be welcomed, those at ALF
don’t appear to disagree.
For a group that proclaims itself “non-violent”, and “taking
all precautions not to harm any
animal (human or otherwise)”
it is interesting to discover that
anonymous extremists from ALF
are encouraging the use of increasingly violent tactics. On
one direct action website, the
ALF posts notices announcing
attacks on the University and
calling on supporters to “do
whatever it takes” to “blow
these f***ing monsters off the
planet.”
Who exactly are these “monsters”? Well, apparently “anyone in Oxford” is a target. Students, lecturers and the dinner
ladies that had to be hurried out
of their rooms after the ALF arson attack on Hertford College,
which caused over £50,000
worth of damage, are all valid
targets. The ALF aren’t just rallying against the academics, they
espouse the frankly ridiculous
notion that “the people you
see walking around the site and
driving in and out of the gates
are the people who kill the animals with their own hands.”
And there was I thinking that the
funny men in the yellow outfits
were builders.
These errant vegetarians
would be slightly more deserving
of our sympathy if they weren’t
so inherently hypocritical. Take,
“
three
cheers
for
Laurie
Pycroft
”
for example, their stance on
modern medication. Inevitably
most animal right activists have,
at some point in their lives,
taken penicillin, a drug developed through the use of animal
research. Animal testing might
not be desirable, but one cannot
deny that it is absolutely essential for medical progress: chicken
pox, cholera, influenza, measles,
mumps, polio and whooping
cough vaccines were all developed after experimentation on
animals. Add to that insulin,
painkillers, chemotherapy, pacemakers, artificial hearts, valves,
hips and knees and you start
to see what a vital role animal
testing plays in the advance of
medical science. If animal rights
activists are that upset how
about they sacrifice themselves
for medical research?
And you can be sure that as
soon as one of their family is
diagnosed with an illness the
only possible hope of which is
contained in a tablet previously
tested on animals, they’ll change
their tune quick enough.
However, until that day
comes, let’s all say three cheers
for Laurie Pycroft, the 16-yearold student founder of Pro-Test,
an organisation set up to defend
the Oxford research facility,
and animal research in general.
He has already received death
threats but remains stubbornly
undeterred. On Saturday he
led a throng of 800 students,
researchers, doctors and professors through the streets of
Oxford to show solidarity with
those facing intimidation and
threats of violence from the ALF.
Despite the death threats, he
has remained true to his cause,
saying that while he understood
the risks he faces, he feels “Animal experiments are necessary.
The suffering of a few animals
can vastly improve the quality of
life of millions of people.”
If only everyone could have
the wisdom of a sixteen-yearold.
Letters
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Letters
Don’t trust your
exam mark
Dear Editor
This letter is
in response to
your article last
issue about a
lecturer seen
marking
an
exam paper in
a pub.
Personally, I would
question any
exam marks
given to any
student at all.
I have had a
mid-term test
mark (worth
about
15%
of my Political
Theory unit)
move
10%
after having
gone to the
course convenor to complain
about
the mark. The
course convenor had told
the class that
he would be
marking
all
200 exam scripts. Instead he got
a postgraduate to mark many
of them with appalling consequences. I moved in total 96
points in 12 questions with one
particular question where I only
had to write only one sentence
mentioning “competition, diffidence and glory” moving from
48 to 100. It was quite a drastic move and I was shocked that
clearly this postgraduate did not
have a clue in how to mark an
exam script. Others doing the
same course had their papers remarked and their marks moved
quite considerably.
I was outraged to at the
situation I found myself in and
would encourage students with
semester one exam results coming up soon to question their results and not hesitate to call the
course convenor in order to get
a remark.
Is it correct that departments
of a top class university like
Southampton should be employing unqualified markers to
decide on what ultimately your
future holds? In my opinion lecturers should spend more time
on students, in particular on
marking their scripts correctly,
and less on researching, which
does not benefit the student directly.
Yours sincerely
Barnaby Hodgson
ing, window displays, etc. We
are lucky to get loads of fantastic
donations of books and music so
there’s always something new to
work with. We are flexible when
it comes to what hours volunteers work - so it could fit well
into a timetable. Full training will
be given.
If any of your readers would
like to “work for free in an
amazing place” and make a real
difference to poverty and suffering, please call into the shop at
24 East Street or email oxfamshopf4111@btconnect.com.
Sincerely
Lily Caswell,
Oxfam
Students’
status
Dear Editor
On the 16 February notices were
placed around the
Glen Eyre Halls
of Residence instructing student
residents that they
would no longer
be permitted to
park in the vicinity of their accommodation and that
all vehicles must
be moved by the
20 February. Only
staff and contractors with special
permits would be
allowed to park at
Oxfam
volunteering
Dear Editor
I’ve just read your news story “Live to work or work to
live...?” and I was particularly
interested in Claire Callender’s
comment about students who
“work for free ... in amazing
places, racking up great work
experience, less debt and a jolly
good degree.”
I work for Oxfam and we have
recently opened a fantastic
books and music shop on East
Street. However, we are struggling to keep the shop open due
to a shortage of volunteers. It’s
a great place to work as there
are loads of different things that
people can do - from sorting and
pricing stock, till work, market-
Glen Eyre and students who have
paid for the privilege of parking
in the vicinity of their accommodation must park their cars at
other Halls. This announcement
was made without consultation,
explanation or reasonable notice
and is indicative of a lack respect
for the views and needs of residents and the overall low status
of students in the university hierarchy.
Yours sincerely
Robert Wardill
The Wessex
Scene Team
This fine publication was
brought to you by...
Editor-in-Chief
Laura Fewell
vpcomms@susu.org
Editor
Gareth Hynes
editor@soton.ac.uk
Wessex Lane
security
Dear Editor
I am writing to express my
concern at the attacks against
students that have been occurring here at Wessex Lane. It’s
sad to note that even though
three Halls lie in the same vicinity students are constantly been
targeted by young gangs in the
area. The attacks have been
baseless, unprovoked and serious.
Living in University accommodation the least we should expect
is to feel safe, without being
harassed, abused or worse still,
attacked on our own doorstep.
It’s about time the student body
took this issue to the Council
and asked them to provide better security for students in their
town. Providing better security
now would prevent many trips
to the emergency ward later.
Sincerely
Taniela Gavidi
News Editor
Robbie Breen
news@wessexscene.co.uk
News Editor
Paul Lenihan
news@wessexscene.co.uk
Features Editor
Mike Anderson
features@wessexscene.co.uk
Features Editor
Craig Williams
features@wessexscene.co.uk
Societies Editor
Peter Rabbit
societies@wessexscene.co.uk
Sport Editor
Alex Hayes
sport@wessexscene.co.uk
Proof Readers: Tom Camfield,
David Jankowski, Caroline
McBride
Deadline for submissions
for next issue: 15 April 2006.
However, this does vary with
each section so please email
the section editors directly
Want to get involved?
The Wessex Scene is about to elect its new editorial team for
next year. Are you an aspiring journalist? To crack it in the
tough world of media you need to stand out from the crowd
of wannabes! Extra skills and experience will give you the edge
over all those zillions of students competing for the best jobs.
As an editor, you will learn to use industry-standard software
and be a key player in the production process. Interested? Of
course you are! Come to the Wessex Scene AGM (at 1pm,
Thursday 23 March in the SU Clubs and Socs room) and tell us
what position you are standing for and why we need you!
Wessex Scene
Highfield
Southampton
SO17 1BJ
And, as always, we are currently on the look-out for new talent. We want to hear from:
Science writers
Cartoonists
Arts reviewers
Sports journalists
If you want to get involved or have any other ideas of things
we could include, get in touch: editor@soton.ac.uk.
And if you have any news stories, no matter how ridiculous
they sound, please let us know.
Advertising queries
Ben Fishlock
023 8059 5486
ben@susu.org
The Wessex Scene is available
in other formats. Email:
vpcomms@susu.org
Debate
Page 10
The great cigarette debate
From the summer of 2007 smoking will be banned in all public places in the UK. Is this a good
thing? And how will it affect students at Southampton? The Wessex Scene set out to investigate...
According to the Southampton
Smoke Free Task Group, 35% of
Southampton residents smoke, a
figure 10% higher than the national average. As more young
people smoke than old, it is
easy to see how this could be in
part attributed to the city’s large
student population. There are
alarming consequences of this,
with over 44,000 people being
admitted to hospital with smoking-related conditions in the
South East in 2003/4, at an estimated cost to the health service
of £238 million. The inescapable
fact is that some of these people
are non-smokers who have been
affected by those that do.
Our human rights dictate that
we should not have to endure
things that unnecessarily pose a
danger to our health; it is particularly the case that people
should not have to work in such
an environment. Therefore, a
ban such as this one is inevitable
in a civilised society. Smoking is
legal and so people have a right
to choose whether to do so or
not, but it is unethical to subject those around you to health
risks as well. Smoking in a public place is antisocial because it
affects more than just the user,
and this is always the case, unlike alcohol, for example.
It is also evident that a full ban
is much more appropriate than a
partial one; it is crucial to establish a level playing field. A ban of
this sort would increase health
inequalities among staff. Furthermore, a ban that exempted
pubs that serve food would be
worse for the poor; research has
shown a strong link between
wealthy areas and pubs selling
food. A partial ban would mean
poorer people being subjected to
more second-hand smoke and
therefore higher health risks as
smokers choose to go to establishments where they are able to
light up.
Smoking bans have already
proved successful in Ireland and
New York; less people are smoking, and the adverse effect on
trade predicted has not come to
fruition. Canada has one of the
lowest levels of smoking in the
world, and it is commonly concluded that this is the result of
tough anti-smoking measures in
recent years.
The new legislation aims to
achieve the same effect in this
country. After all, no one likes
to go out to a pub for a drink
and come back stinking of
cigarette smoke.
FOR
Christopher Dean
Jessica Crick
The banning of smoking in
public places is yet another example of this government’s intrusion into every aspect of our
lives. A prerequisite for a liberal
society is freedom of choice,
something that this ban takes
away from us. Labour pledged
in their manifesto to introduce a
partial ban, exempting pubs that
serve food and private members’ clubs, so the introduction
of a full ban represents another
broken promise, just like Top Up
Fees.
This government would be
better off improving the standard
of education of people from an
early age about the dangers of
smoking, rather than banning it
– the latter does not address the
root of the smoking problem in
this country. Statistics show that
rates of teenage pregnancy are
lower in countries with a more
progressive sex education programme in schools; it is easy to
see how this analogy translates
on to smoking.
Furthermore, the ban threatens the environment. Smokers
will have to go outside to have
a cigarette, which will inevitably lead to a huge increase in
greenhouse gas emitting patio
heaters. Britain’s greenhouse gas
emissions are already up by an
estimated 380,000 tonnes per
year due to such devices, and
it is claimed that using one of
these heaters for just two hours
produces the same amount of
carbon dioxide as an average car
does in a day.
Of five local pubs frequented
by students surveyed, four landlords thought the new legislation would have a negative impact on trade. As a result of this,
prices may have to go up, hitting the hard-up student in the
pocket. A knock-on effect could
ensue; it would be a difficult balance to strike. A fall-off in trade
has already been observed in
places that have recently implemented a ban like Ireland and
New York.
The new laws may mean people smoke less, but it is still addictive and limiting opportunities to smoke could well lead to
people smoking more at home,
in many cases exposing children
to increased levels of smoke.
And if people do go outside,
the noise pollution is bound to
cause considerable grief in residential areas, something that is
particularly pertinent in Southampton given the amount of
young people and the recent
frictions concerning the Cube.
Your opinions...
Sean, Southampton student
I don’t think it will affect trade
too much because people will
always want to go out for a
drink with friends. It’ll help lots
of people give up smoking because if they are in a pub with
a group of friends containing
non-smokers as well as smokers, they are not really going to
want to leave the social situation and break up the group.
And I can’t see lots of students
going outside a club to smoke
at one o’clock in the morning.
Duncan, Southampton student
John, Southampton student
Actually I don’t go to the pub
much because I don’t like the
smoky atmosphere. I normally
have friends round to drink at
my house, or I’ll just go round
to theirs. The new laws will
make me more likely to go out
but if trade goes down and so
prices go up I might be better
off carrying on what I’m doing
now – it’ll just be cheaper.
Jenny, Bar Staff at Clowns
Passive smoking is a worry
working in this environment,
but this hypocritical government is quite happy to tax
smokers to a great extent for
their habit, and the downturn
in sales of cigarettes in pubs will
surely be met with an increase
in other taxes that affect everyone, not just those who smoke.
Stephen, Landlord of
The Crown
Even though I’m a smoker I
think the ban is a fantastic idea!
I will smoke much less now.
Personally I’m against the ban People tend to smoke by as– it’s a case of better the devil
sociation: go to the pub, have
you know. Plus I don’t think
a beer, have a smoke. Although
I’ve got the room to put heaters dealing with not being able
outside. For other pubs there
to do that will be hard at first,
isn’t really a choice to make be- breaking the cycle will ultitween a downturn in business
mately make it easier for a lot
or helping the environment.
of people to quit. I’m still going
At the moment it’s hard to tell to go to the pub – I’d sooner
what effect all this is going to
socialise with a beer than stay
have on the trade.
at home smoking by myself.
Science
Fingerprint forensics flaw flagged up
Steven Lamond
In a first of its kind study, a team
of researchers at the University
of Southampton have shown
that the unbiased evaluation of
fingerprints by experts can be
affected by external factors.
Pairs of fingerprints identified five
years ago as being matches were
returned to the forensics experts
who had originally matched
them. This time a new context
was given: the fingerprints had
been incorrectly matched by the
FBI, thus wrongly incriminating
Brandon Mayfield as the Madrid
Bomber. The experts were told
to ignore the context and concentrate solely on the prints. Of
the five experts only one agreed
the fingerprints matched, while
three experts contradicted their
original judgements. Dr Itiel
Dror, research leader, said recently on BBC Newsnight: “[We
are] not challenging … the reliability of fingerprints,” though
he believes more should be
done to train experts to ignore
emotional influences. This is important in a science where an
incorrect judgement could lead
to an innocent person ending up
in jail.
Bird flu arrested by copper
Tanya Howes
Common, everyday copper may
hold the key to preventing the
spread of avian flu scientists at
Southampton University say.
When the influenza A virus is
placed on a copper surface it is
almost totally eradicated in six
hours. Stainless steel, favoured
by Health Authorities for its clean
appearance, failed to eradicate
the virus after 24 hours. Copper is effective because it attacks
the overall structure of the virus
while vaccines for example simply target antibodies to exposed
specific cell surface structures.
The influenza A family of
viruses causes around 12,000
deaths per year in the UK and in-
cludes the avian flu strain known
as H5N1. Previous research has
also shown that copper is effective against bacterial infections
such as MRSA and E.Coli.
This research was carried out
on the H1N1 strain of flu but
Professor Bill Keevil, head of the
research group, pointed out that
H1N1 is almost identical to the
H5N1 ‘avian’ strain and therefore copper would be just as effective at eradicating this.
The research suggests that
high copper alloys such as
bronze and brass used for door
handles, sinks and countertops
could be crucial in preventing
the spread of infections in public
facilities such as hospitals.
Take us through a
typical day in the
life of Wendy
Hall.
There is no typical day; sometimes I’m in
London, sometimes abroad.
I travel all over
the world. If you
saw my diary
you’d be scared
- I’m scared by
it most of
t h e
time! But actually, despite being
hectic, I really enjoy it.
So what’s most exciting you in
your work right now?
The ECS at Southampton are
collaborating with Tim Berners
Lee (the inventor of the world
wide web) and MIT in setting up
a new research centre called the
Web Science Foundation. This
will raise funding to help the
development of the semantic web. This is what
I’m passionate about at
the moment.
And what is the semantic web?
It’s about adding semantics, or knowledge, to the
web. The web is series of
documents designed for
people to read.
People
then
follow links
they’re interested in
to other
websites.
Science
News in
Brief
Steven Lamond
Time keepers
Researchers at this university
have shown that a law important in the body’s timekeeping
process is unreliable.
Weber’s Law states that distinguishing something from background activity depends on the
level of the activity. For example
in the Cube on a Friday night
people need to shout to make
themselves heard, yet when the
cinema is running a whisper is
sufficient. Researchers used pigeons pushing buttons according to the amount of time a light
was switched on to show that the
law became inaccurate at longer
intervals. Timing models using
the law must now be revised.
Robots and slime
A chat with Wendy Hall of ECS...
Profile
Wendy is the Head of the
School of Electronic and
Computer Sciences at
Southampton University and
Vice President of the Royal
Academy of Engineering.
She was awarded a CBE in
June 2000.
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Search engines like Google collate this information; see how
this collation has revolutionised
the world. What we’re aiming to
do is to make the web able to
answer even more specific questions by making computers able
to ‘understand’ web pages and
their content. For example with
the semantic web you could ask
your hand-held device to book
you in for a doctor’s appointment at a surgery within walking distance of your workplace
with a doctor rated as ‘excellent’
or ‘very good’ by other users,
and it would do this by matching the doctor’s schedule with
your own. We’re overdue for a
real revolution here.
You’ve obviously been very successful, what do think has set
you apart?
I ask myself that a lot; how have
I managed get where I am? One
thing is confidence. This allows
you to persevere when others
might be tempted to give up.
Perhaps enjoying what you do
is another. If you’re not enjoying
yourself, you won’t work hard
and you won’t be successful.
More personally, I seem to be
good at leadership. I can inspire
people, building strong teams
and keeping them here. I also
have a lot of fun...
And, inevitably, how has the fire
affected you and the ECS?
There are people here who have
really suffered. For some of
them it was just soul-destroying. A massive silver lining has
emerged, but I never want to
go through the last few months
again. It’s been very very hard.
That we’ve got back on our
feet so quickly is due to shear
team effort. And we were well
insured. The universities in New
Orleans cannot rebuild because
they’ve no insurance.
Lastly, how has the ECS become
so internationally respected?
Good question. Hmm... to be
honest, we’re just the best.
Interview: Gareth Hynes
Collaboration between Kobe
University and Southampton
has produced a robot which is
controlled by slime.
A yellow slime that fears the
light has been grown on a circuit
board. When a light is shone on
the slime it tries to move away
and the chip converts this to
work that the six legs of the robot use to scuttle into the shade.
This type of research is invaluable for the next generation of
microchip technology as nature
is much more capable of designing small scale purpose built
structures than humans currently are.
Gareth Hynes
Nutrition Guidelines
The National Centre for Clinical
Excellence (NICE) has introduced
guidelines for the NHS’s treatment of malnourised patients
drawn up by Dr Mike Stroud of
this University. Dr Stroud said
that malnutrition is “a gigantic
problem” and that “a widespread program of screening
and support will save lives.”
£2.2 million spin-out
University of Southampton spinout Perpetuum Ltd has attracted
£2.2 million in funding to produce its micro-generators which
harvest energy from vibrations.
Arts
Page 12
Leo’s Classical Trio
Peter Pan
Peter Pan thrives at The Nuffield Another wonderful evening of music at The Turner
Sims. Megan Westcott expected nothing less
thinks Rebecca Campbell
Peter Pan performed by the
SUSU Theatre Group at The
Nuffield, 3 March 2006
The story of Peter Pan, the little boy who refused to grow up,
is ubiquitous in today’s society.
You might think then that the
task of interpreting this story for
the stage would be a simple one.
Flying scenes and sexist undertones mean it is anything but.
The version chosen by the
SUSU Theatre Group updated
the sexism by giving Wendy an
attitude. Rather than the smiling
Madonna, she sternly tells off
the children, appears irritated
and even jokes that spinsterhood might be preferable. This
subtle adaptation kept the story
the same but took away the
niggling irritation felt by many
modern audiences at old fashioned attitudes.
To overcome the problems of
expressing flight on a budget this
production, rather than having
the actors flap their arms, made
use of puppets. These were held
by the character and made to
talk as they flew about. This was
original, witty and highly entertaining.
Costume designer Natalie
Gowans put together beautiful
and professional looking costumes and the music, largely
composed by Daneilia Hanson,
set the tone nicely and tied the
production together well.
My only major gripe would
be that the ending (from the
demise of Hook onwards) was
anticlimactic. After a well performed sword fight, it seemed (if
you’ll excuse the pun) to peter
out. Captain Hook didn’t even
make a splash as he hit the water and there was no dramatic
music to accompany it.
The acting was on the whole
excellent, with some fantastic
individual performances. Most
noteworthy were Nick Morey
as a bubbly, enthusiastic almost
overly camp Peter Pan, and Harald Schoppe’s comic evil presence as both Captain Hook and
John Marsters. Overall, it was
an entertaining and well put together adaptation of a classic.
The Leopold String Trio performed at the Turner Sims Concert Hall on the Southampton
University Highfield campus, 28
February 2006
With the near perfect acoustics
at The Turner Sims, and a world
renowned string trio performing an exciting programme, the
evening was set to be first class
from start to finish.
The Leopold String Trio did
not disappoint. They
began with a
beautiful
rendition of Beethoven’s Trio in
D Op 9 No 2. As was to be expected from such world class musicians, it was an outstanding interpretation. The players looked
relaxed and comfortable in their
familiarity with Beethoven, the
result being a smooth, sensitive
performance that could not fail
to bring a heartfelt and much
deserved round of applause
from the delighted audience.
The programme continued with pieces by
two Russian composers, the first of
these a contemporary String Trio
by Sofia Gubaidulina. This
was what can
only be described as
a
ghostly
sounding,
very modern piece of
music. Pizzicato and glissando were
used heavily,
the structure
Holes
The Nuffield, 20 March - 1 April, £10-18
The Nuffield Theatre Company presents the British
premiere of Luis Sachar’s best-selling novel.
Miss Saigon
The Mayflower, 7 March - 1 April, £15-39.50
New production of the musical about the days
leading up to the US evacuation of Saigon.
Once More...With Feeling
The Millais Gallery, 10 March - 13 April, free
This exhibition explores the theme of ‘re-enactment’ in contemporary art and culture including
Spring Concert
St Michael’s Church, Fri 17 March, £7 (£4 students).
The University Chamber Choir performs a selection
of beautiful English choral works in Southampton’s
oldest building (in Bugle St, behind the Bargate).
Blues Lassitude
Turner Sims, Tue 4 April, £15 (£8 students)
New York based jazz trumpeter/composer Dave
Douglas presents a jazz trio and 14-strong classical
ensemble in a new fusion of two musical worlds.
Heath Robinson Exhibition
City Art Gallery, 3 Feb - 2 April, free
Exhibiting one hundred of Robinson’s original and
Jonathan Lasker, Patrick Heron, Katie Pratt
The John Hansard, 14 February - 8 April, free
See discussion of this exhibition, page 12.
Film
Theatre
Bolshoi Ballet
The Mayflower, Tue 18 - Sat 22 April, £20-65
This legendary Russian dance company presents Spartacus
and Swan Lake, which the Bolshoi originally premiered in
Moscow in 1877.
Editor’s Choice
Heath Robinson St Paul’s
Exhibitions
The Grand Inquisitor
The Nuffield, Mon 13 - Wed 15 March, £10-15.50
Peter Brook, one the world’s greatest directors, presents
Dostoevsky’s masterpiece. Set in Seville during the inquisition, Christ returns to walk the streets of the burning city.
Concerts
What’s On
was very untraditional and the
work as a whole was, at times,
heavy going. However, if anyone can succeed at such stylised
contemporary music then it’s the
Leopold String Trio, who handled the whole thing with great
conviction, exemplary technique
and a feisty, contagious passion
for the music.
The final work of the evening
was the little-known Anton
Arensky’s Quartet in A minor,
Op 35, where the performers
were joined by cellist Natalie
Clein, a spellbinding young musician with technique and enthusiasm second to none. The
unconventional addition of an
extra cello worked magnificently for this piece, adding an
extra depth and intensity which
was particularly evident in the
breathtakingly beautiful second movement: Variations on a
theme of Tchaikovsky.
The third movement, Finale,
rounded off the evening in spectacular fashion. With its upbeat
tempo and cheerful folk-song
influence, it was a perfect ending
to a truly wonderful evening.
Moolaadé
The Phoenix, Boldrewood, 1 March, £4
The father of African film making explores the
plight of women in a traditional culture.
Pride and Prejudice
Union Films, Union Building, Tue 14 March, £2
The latest film adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel.
Note: listings are neither comprehensive nor infallible. Please ring ahead! (Remember to ask for your student discount.) The Nuffield Theatre: 023 8067 1771; The Mayflower Theatre: 023 8071 1811; The John Hansard
Gallery: 023 8059 2158; The Millais Gallery: 023 8031 9916; The Turner Sims Concert Hall: 023 8059 5151; SU Chamber Choir 07760267247; The Phoenix Cinema: 08707650763.
Arts
www.wessexscene.co.uk
The Wessex Scene’s guide to:
CONTEMPORARY ART
Evgenia Gipaki
When considering contemporary
art, one may rush into defining
it, as the ‘art of today’, as opposed to, say, the art of the past.
Does this imply that present artistic practices are necessarily
different from the old ones? It
is certainly the case that contemporary art differs from what
is routinely being referred to as
modern art, but are we talking
about an absolute break here?
In art historical terms, contemporary art usually refers to
the artistic practices of roughly
the last three decades. One of
its key features is its diversity,
in terms of practice, style and
content. Thereby, any attempt
to account adequately enough
for contemporary art (just like
art itself) is doomed to fail. One
needs only look at the dazzling
succession of artistic experimentation that has marked the late
twentieth century and the early
years of the twenty-first: from
Minimalism and Conceptualism
to video and film, from painting
and sculpture to performance
and installation. Considering this
variety, there can be no crisp
way to fix the meaning of contemporary art, other than perhaps argue for its plurality.
Then again, the rich profusion
of styles is not limited and does
not apply exclusively to contemporary art. Let’s not forget that
a major artistic plurality first occurred with Modern art, evident
in its various movements (Dada,
Surrealism, Cubism, Expressionism, Futurism and Abstraction).
Accepting this, one may also
conclude that contemporary
art is both a continuation and a
break with what preceded it.
Artists today inevitably draw
upon a past visual language,
transforming it while they appropriate it. But then if both
modern and contemporary art
share a multiplication of forms
and if the latter borrows from
the former, what separates the
two? One of the most obvious
answers is that if ‘movements’
was an acceptable – to some extent – position under the modern era, this is no longer the
case. Indeed, contemporary art
is not so much the product of a
collective whole as an individual
approach to art.
In part due to the absence of
movements, there is no longer a
‘war’ between distinctively opposing styles such as abstraction
and realism, at least not to the
same extent as it was back in the
1950s. Similarly, the relationship between high culture and
consumer culture has largely
Top left: Jonathan Lasker Canaletto; top right: Jonathan Lasker Perspect Meadows; centre and bottom right: Patrick Heron Very complicated reds with emerald and orange; bottom left: Katie Pratt Fixitine. All images are extracts!
altered, altering in return (if not
rendering irrelevant) the distinction between ‘high’ and ‘low’
art. The ‘norm’ in contemporary
art is precisely that there is no
norm. Simply put, anything and
everything goes.
In other words, if the object
of art was once qualified as such
only if it responded to certain
criteria, this is certainly no longer
the case.
Contemporary art is both an
expanded field and a largely
free-zone playground. There are
no longer special skills the artist
ought to have or develop in order to make ‘good’ art. However, this is not to say that no skills
are needed whatsoever. Rather,
there is now a shift in these very
skills. For instance, if the ‘great
artist-master’ was once the one
who could represent nature as
faithfully as possible, now the
emphasis lies (especially after
the emergence of conceptual art
in the 1970s), at the idea and the
process of making an artwork.
Abstract art from three generations
Rupert Mason discusses the Hansard’s latest, discovering what links three disparate artists
Jonathan Lasker, Patrick Heron,
Katie Pratt exhibit at The John
Hansard Gallery
There is ostensibly little that links
the art of Katie Pratt, Jonathan
Lasker and Patrick Heron currently hanging in the John Hansard Gallery. The three large and
three small pieces by Pratt that
dominate this exhibition are focused on splashes, filigree and
skeins on quite bare canvases.
Heron’s works exhibited here
are of naïve gross shapes with
clipped boarders. Lasker’s ap-
pear bold and illustrative, with
outlines overly magnified.
However, they were chosen
for this exhibition because of
a shared way of creating their
work. Patrick Heron, the oldest of the artists, would sketch
out the topography of his large
paintings in only forty-five seconds. These initial frameworks
were never subsequently rewritten; the artist’s role from then on
was to meticulously colour in the
expansive canvases with a tiny
Japanese water colour brush.
Working 20 years later, Lasker
used small scribbles and doodles
he’d made and projected onto
the canvas as the prominent
feature of his finished work.
For her initial marks Pratt, the
youngest of the artists, threw
paint at the canvas. However
much she later obviates and obscures it, this initial splash is still
very much the central feature of
her finished work. They therefore share a two stage process in
creating their art: an immediate
emotional gesture and a second
contemplative remedial stage.
The artists are also linked by
the prominence they bestow
upon their almost aleatoric, or
chance-like, creations. Fundamentally this is for differing
reasons however, reasons that
reflect the changing attitudes
towards the predominance of
emotion in Expressionism. Heron started painting in the 1950s,
and though his early work has
clear deference to Matisse, latterly his work became increasingly indebted to Abstract Expressionism, a heterogeneous
group of styles represented by
Pollock, Still and Rothko.
Many members thought,
perhaps portentously, of emotional expression as a means
to ‘transcendence’. Now, notions of transcendence through
emotional expression seem antiquated; in Pratt’s work the
syntax of expressionism is being
used referentially and ironically.
Pratt says in her interview: “It’s
a changing stance, but it is definitely a misconception that abstract painting is about emotion.
I don’t particularly think it is. It is
a rationalization of an irrational
vocation.”
Fashion
Page 14
Fashion versus style...
Lorna Longworth
“Fashion fades. Style is eternal,” said Yves Saint Laurent,
inspiring us at Fashion to engage in a debate raging through
the fashion press, inspired by
French Connection’s brand
spanking new advertising campaign. The campaign, directed
by Duncan Jones (son of David
Bowie), is aiming to rejuvenate
the company’s recent stagnant
sales. It features 2 female characters; ‘Fashion’ and ‘Style’ engaging in a rather violent battle
for supremacy escalating into
a passionate sweaty kiss. It has
predictably set people talking
about them again- another win
in the FCUK portfolio of slick
marketing.
Taking a lead from the ad we
may square things up for ourselves:
In the Red Corner we have
Fashion – defined as the prevailing style or custom, as in dress
or behaviour. It may involve
something, such as a garment,
that is in the current mode and
the style characteristic of the
social elite. An example would
Catwalk offerings from designer Roland Mouret, including the celeb favourite Galaxy Dress (far left)
be last season’s Galaxy dress
by Roland Mouret; worn by everyone from Cameron Diaz to
Rachel Weisz of which replicas
are now available in almost every shop in West Quay. Student
style around campus is the skinny jeans, black stripy top and
Topshop ballet pumps combo.
It’s becoming uniform! In reality, Fashion is the stuff that everyone else is wearing and that
you want to wear too. Problem
is being too trend-lead can result
in numerous cringe-worthy photos in years to come (see article
below!).
In the Blue Corner we have
Style, which in many ways stresses adherence to standards of elegance and a quality of imagination and individuality expressed
in one’s actions and tastes. It denotes a comfortable and elegant
would be leather clothing. While
leather worked in The Matrix
and in Coyote Ugly, it is highly
unlikely that the same effect
will be achieved whilst walking
down Portswood High Street
clad in full leather, especially
when you have shopping bags
swinging on both arms.
Next on the list is a slightly
more ambiguous choice, as it is
quite hard to believe that every
person who has opted to wear a
very short skirt actually realises
that it more closely resembles a
belt. Glamour models the world
over may disagree, but that impression of class that you aimed
for is very difficult to maintain
without a certain amount of
dignity. Hot on the heels of this
example would be that of skirts
and trainers, particularly when
accompanied by ankle socks. If
you decide to showcase the fact
that you are capable of being
ladylike, why should you want
to cut off this impression at the
ankles?
Another choice that many
find slightly baffling is that of
dreadlocks over clean, regularly
washed hair. While this does admittedly suit some people, it is
difficult to get past the initial reaction that mould is bad enough
on a forgotten glass of milk or
can of baked beans. Along similar lines would be the use of excess gel. Like lipliner, when used
properly this can give you a very
polished look. However, if used
carelessly, you are also liable
to look like you belong on the
bleachers at Rydell High wearing a T-bird jacket. Like many of
the options above, it is not to be
ruled out completely.
mode of existence. So, style is
simply the individual, creative
way in which clothes are worn
with confidence. Style would be
best seen in Kate Moss, pre-chop
Sienna Miller and Gwen Stefani,
people whose way of dressing
and living inspires fashion rather
than copying it.
Our own campus Style Council may therefore be seen in their
one-of-a-kind vintage bargains
found in one of the many charity shops in the Portswood Fashion Strip. Or donning a 10 year
old well worn and loved T shirt
over actually faded jeans, with a
little hint of this season’s ‘fashion’ in the form of an enormous
hold-all bag. It’s taking what you
want from what’s out there and
putting your own stamp on it.
And now the sweaty clinch.
How are these two interchangeable? Would we rather
be a trend-setter, throwing
on clothes and inspiring gutwrenching envy from all around
us? Or would we rather be achingly fashionable, with all the
right must-haves? It’s a tough
one, and how does it all work
out? Well, there is a little get out
clause called being ‘fashionably
stylish’. Unsurprisingly.
Personal style requires selfexpression in a tasteful, artistic and individual way. In that
way then, wearing fashionale
clothes, but interpreting them in
your own way like Nicole Richie,
Madonna, Gwen Stefani et al.
leads to that perfect marriage of
fashion and style.
Easy!
Can somebody please explain... ?
Laura Armstrong
It is a well known fact that in
the field of fashion, individualism and personal style are highly
priced qualities. Celebrities such
as Kate Moss have paise heaped
upon them for throwing together outfits in ways that somehow
just work. However, there will
always be a number of fashion
choices that remain very difficult
to understand.
Patchwork coats, for example,
of the kind normally sported by
local gypsies or hard up members of the mafia. Often charmingly decorated with a fur fringe
that suspiciously resembles that
of an unwashed terrier. Hopefully with the end of winter, these
will also go into hibernation for
a while.
Another notable example
Kate Moss: effortless chic - whatever she throws on
WSX
Mickey Anderson
Welcome back to Features.
This month sees yet another gaggle of treats for you dear readers. We have an exclusive report
on the rebuilding the ECS block;
you know the one that burnt
down a while ago. Fire seems to
be a favourite in Southampton
and our thoughts go out to the
refugees of Spear Road.
We also have an insight into
next year’s Oscar potentials. My
money is on Hollywood Hulk
Hogan finally being recognised
with a lifetime achievement
award. Mr Nanny is the best!
The way his little moustache
twitches when he gets mad is
clearly a masterstroke in theatrics, mixing Stanislavskian style
method acting with big muscles
and neat pants.
Do check out our fine feature
about the glory of sleep too.
Sleeping is one of our favourite pastimes here at the Wessex
Scene. We do it almost every
day, sometimes twice a day.
In fact I’m off for a nap right
now...
That was grand. So where
was I? Um. I can’t stop thinking I
have a pet liiiion and fought with
the lord of vampires! I may have
another doze. No I mustn’t!!
Sherlock Holmes is in it!
That’s right we have unearthed
a never before published short
story starring none other than
everyone’s favourite busy body
the Holmesmeister. He needed a
nickname.
Anyway, enough babbling, go
and enjoy the issue. The solution
to the SUSU-doku can be found
in a sudoku book. We have put
in some pictures too because we
know words are pretty tough.
Mickey. 5.
Get in contact with Features
by emailing features@wessexscene.co.uk, or just collar us
when we’re in the pub.
New ECS Centre
to include slides
Photo: Adrian Pickering
Editorial
www.wessexscene.co.uk
The new ECS Centre will be equipped with super extra cool slides
Mickey Anderson &
Gareth Hynes
The new ECS Centre, which will
replace the ECS Building that
burned down late last year, is
to include slides as well as stairs
Jacob Finley of the School of
Electronic and Computer Science who is heading the redevelopment project said at a
press conference on Friday. “We
surveyed all staff who would be
working in the new centre to see
what would improve the quality
of the research they produced,”
Mr Finley said. “Many surveyed
listed such things as better clean
room conditions and a more
integrated computer software
system but the most consistent finding was that researchers
wanted slides.” Mr Finley went
on to postulate several possible
reasons for this finding including
that researchers did not often get
to have fun in ECS labs, “unlike
those scientists across the way
in the Chemistry labs” he said,
highlighting the word scientist
with finger quotes. “All they
seem to do is laugh and tumble
on the floor. Well, just wait until
we have our new building, then
we’ll see” he added, cackling a
little.
The new centre is going to be
“much more fun” says Matilda
Goyters, official spokesperson
for the redevelopment program.
Plans are to do away with the
old stodgy style of building and
make it more appealing to the
young and hip generation. “The
old building was just boring
computers and that,” Goyters
told the Wessex Scene. “And
they didn’t even have Mario 2!
We plan to put an end to that
so that more people will come to
visit us.” With measures such as
this, fears that it gets lonely for
scientists through the winter are
being actively combated.
The new building is to cost
“like, millions of quid” we heard
from Treasurer Jodie Marp, “but
it’ll be well good.” We asked if
we could see the blueprints but
were told to “get our own”.
Over all, the operation seems to
be clouded in uncertainty. There
are certainly no plans to ever
complete the building.
The huge fuss surrounding
the fire has lead to some apathy
from University officials, something dubbed ‘fire fatigue’ by
those afflicted most of whom
are currently seeking legal advice
regarding a possible compensation claim. But we have heard on
the sly that those in charge “got
bored” of all the fuss surrounding the building’s destruction
and renovation and have let the
contract go to the lowest bidder
“to spice things up a bit.” The
new team including Marp and
Goyters seems inexperienced in
building. Original plans were to
use LEGO, perhaps explaining
the lack of a proposed end date
for the project.
“All the fun is in the building
of things like this,” comments
the under three LEGO-pro
World Champion 2001, Jamie
from Hull. “Once it’s there people tend not to know what to do
next.” He adds: “They’ll probably just knock it down and start
again. That’s what I usually do
anyway.”
It is widely understood though
that there are some good ideas
floating around for the renovation. Even Jamie admits that
the inclusion of slides and rope
ladders is “inspired”. The aim
is to make it quick to get down
to the tree house, another new
addition to the ECS Centre,
at break times. There are also
plans to have a number of labs
turned into bouncy rooms and
many scientists are pushing for
the catering services’ No-Chip
Tuesday policy to be abolished,
though others are wary of such
a move.
Reached for comment on the
new plans, the Vice Chancellor of Southampton University
James Melter said: “What? Is
this a joke?”
Features
Page 16
Oscar predictions 2007
Nicholas Brown
Forget this year’s Oscars, they’re
old news. Yawn. It’s time to
look ahead to next year’s! Dig
out that credit card, rip this article out [take care not to damage
the paper - Ed] and get ready
to run down to the bookies to
place your bets because these
are the sure fire money makers
of this year.
Snakes on a Plane - Best Picture, Best Original Screenplay,
Best Special Effects. Two completely different aspects of our
lives. One a common mode of
international transport. The other a deadly creature only truly
trusted by the Steve Irwins of
this world. The combination of
the two, with the inclusion of
Sammy L Jackson will leave us
with the most breathtakingly
tense thriller since Se7en. It’s a
lock, I love it, I wouldn’t be surprised if it swept the board.
Mel Gibson - Best Director (Apocalypto). The director
God himself picked to tell us
the story of the last days of his
Keira Knightly; looks good in a corset
son’s death and the struggle of
the Scots against the English has
now been given a new mission.
Amazing, unique and epic are
just some of the words used to
describe Mel Gibson.
The Rock - Best Actor (South-
land Tales, Spy-Hunter, Gridiron
Gang). A trifecta of classics from
Hollywood’s new action hero. If
he lands himself a franchise remake, maybe Die Hard 4, the
new Indiana Jones film, hell,
make another Rocky (it’s his
name for crying out loud) then
he’ll be well on his way to joining Segal, Van Damme and Stallone in the Action Hall of Fame.
Natalie Portman - Best Actress (V for Vendetta). Forget
Star Wars, Natalie Portman’s
best film since Garden State and
the sacrifice of shaving off her
hair for the film will garner her
sympathy and the award. It’s a
risk though, the safe money is
on Sharon Stone. (Basic Instinct
2: Risk Addiction).
Kyle Gass - Best Supporting Actor (Tenacious D and
The Pick of Destiny). With Jack
Black’s career seemingly on the
up it seems only right that his
compadre and fellow member
of ‘The D’ should receive some
recognition for his understated
and moving performance in this
masterpiece. Kevin Smith’s Silent
Bob (Passion of the Clerks) also
a possible winner in what critics are calling the ‘battle of the
bulge’.
Keira Knightley - Best Supporting Actress (Pirates of the
Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest).
She was Natalie Portman’s decoy
in Star Wars, and I predict a similar one-two situation here. Past
transgressions like Thunderpants
and King Arthur are forgiven as
we all just love Pirates of the
Carribean. And her corset.
What happened to The Clangers?
Sam Devoil
If you’re like me and your entire childhood revolved around
a plastic button in the sky, you
would probably fail to sit through
a second of today’s excuse for
quality children’s programming.
Why it was just the other day I
tuned in only to find something
called Rubbadubbers and some
Woof rip off, which they have
cleverly called Barking - how
original.
Well, you may be wondering, what is she actually doing
watching this claptrap? I’ll stop
you right there because I happen
to think that I’m doing society a
favour by bringing this to public
attention. Whatever happened
to Super Ted and Banana Man,
Charlie Chalk, Bucky O’Hare
(little green space bunny if this
wasn’t entirely your thing), Dangermouse, Fraggle Rock, Gummi Bears, Jetsons, The Clangers
and the Poddington Peas? In-
deed I realise that I have just
successfully embarrassed myself
in front of the whole University,
but surely the guys that came
up with these classic works of
art actually had something good
going on back then? Why else
would they recently attempt to
bring back Finders Keepers and
Funhouse?
Perhaps I have no point whatsoever and am merely wasting
Why isn’t kids’ TV as good as it once was? Bring back Knightmare!
valuable space in the Wessex
Scene, but tell me, how is some
French dude dancing around in
a leotard entertaining? If I see
Sportacus, or some bubblegum
coloured, stereotypical Ameri-
can girl called Stephanie one
more time, I’m going to throw
my television out of the window.
There’s just something wrong
with real people talking to puppet people, unless it’s Sooty, or
Rosie and Jim.
Granted, there were more
than a few innuendoes in Rainbow (twangers) and Mr Ben,
but people back then were all
high anyway so they’re excused,
and I have absolutely nothing
against George openly expressing his sexuality. Why shouldn’t
he?
In short, I guess I just want
all the writers in the world to
actually think about what they
are writing and how it’s going
to affect the fragile little minds
of today’s little angels. If they
don’t, pretty soon, we’re all
going to turn into stripy things
called Fimbles and that would
be a very bad thing indeed.
Bye bye everybody… bye bye.
Features
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Sherlock Holmes in:
The Case of the Two Emeralds
Ben Parker
“Would you care to place a wager on it?”
As soon as I heard these words
from Holmes’ lips, I knew that
he was not in one of his darker
moods: those deep funks into
which his great intellect would
often descend, troubled with
the larger concerns of the world,
which you and I, dear reader,
could not hope to entertain.
No, Holmes appeared to be in
the rudest of health, and entirely
ready to face anything that London, in its majesty, might send
scurrying through the doors of
21b Baker Street.
It was a Monday, and, as
my detective friend opened the
door, I saw he was in his regular
attire for the time and day; that
is, entirely naked, covered head
to toe in mustard.
“Hallo Watson!” he barked,
his eyes flashing. “Would you
care to place a wager upon
it?”
“As to why, my
dear fellow, you
are covered
in English
mustard,
and not
French as usual?” I said, with a
certain wit. And Holmes joined
me in laughing at my jovial remark, because this was funny in
Victorian times.
But then the situation became
serious. Several street urchins,
whom Holmes liked to keep
around to send messages, began to emerge from behind him,
wild-eyed, and covered headto-toe in ham. Holmes blocked
their path, as the three of them
tried desperately to squeeze past
him in order to get out of the
door, the thick-cut pork flapping
in the struggle.
“Hallo Watson!” he
shouted again, although
louder. “Would you
care to place a wager on it?” He was
becoming angry, although
it seemed
nothing to
do with
the fury of the street urchins to
get past him, whom, despite the
struggle, he seemed to be ignoring blissfully, standing, beaming, for several minutes, staring
straight ahead at me.
I, used to his habits, stared
back. He craned his large head
closer, but we did not kiss.
“Come,” he suddenly ordered
in time, a smile playing upon his
face, “I shall get my cane, and
we shall place a wager upon it!”
He stepped out of the house,
but only after manoeuvring to
get his ivory-handled cane without the urchins
squeezing
p a s t ,
which involved much striking
and hitting their be-hammed
bodies.
“Get back, you cretins!” he
said with zeal, the mustard flinging off his arms, and onto myself
and the urchins.
“Gosh Holmes”, I said entering into the melee, “I would
really like a ham sandwich with
mustard.”
Although my remark had
been innocuous, it appeared to
have a great effect on Holmes.
He stopped thrashing at the boys
with his cane (much to their disappointment), and stared at me
with a great profundity.
“As would I Watson… as
would I,” he uttered, with a deep
regret bordering on meloncholy.
In the absence of being hit,
the young boys ran out of the
house and down the street,
chased by dogs and captains
of industry. The last to run,
a fat, ruddy boy, wrapped in a
huge piece of ham like in a roll
of carpet, was rugby-tackled by
a Nietzschean vegetarian who
took him home, mixed him with
half a cup of apricot preserves,
half a cup of honey, a tablespoon of cornstarch,
three tablespoons
of lemon
juice and
o n e quarter
of a teas p o o n
of ground
cloves.
To
make the ham
glaze, he combined all the
ham glaze ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat. This
he heated, stirring constantly,
until it thickened
and became bubbly,
then spooning the glaze
over the ham and basting
during the last thirty minutes
of the baking he sliced the ham
and served it all up with the preprepared glaze.
So intent was I on watching
the captains of industry riding
the dogs like horses to capture
the ham-and-mustard boys,
I had almost forgotten about
Holmes. Upon turning I found
myself alone, apart from a tall
gentleman who stood beside
me, nervously about to speak.
At that moment Holmes’
disappearance was explained
– he had rushed back inside his
house, opened the letter-box
and was shouting advice: “Watson, for God’s sake, ask him to
put a wager on it!”
Not perturbed, the man spoke,
his voice was high-pitched and
educated. “I have come here,
sir, to meet Sherlock Holmes. I
have a case he will be very much
interested in.”
Knowing from experience
that the man was most fortunate in coming to this address,
I gestured towards the door of
21b Baker Street and returned to
its doorstep. The man, being of
an agreeable sort, followed and
stood by me as I knocked.
Holmes answered immediately. Still beaming, and still
without a spot of clothes on
him. He greeted me and asked
if I would like kippers. My nod
was interpreted by Holmes as an
affirmation that yes I would like
some kippers, but then I gestured politely to the man next to
me, who looked so hopeful, so
hurt, that I knew Holmes would
be able to help him. Placing his
hands on his hips, the detective
looked the stranger from top to
toe, examining his fingernails,
his hat, and staring for a long
time at his shoes. Preparing to
speak, I knew Holmes was going
to offer the greatest summation
of this man’s life, and that the
man would be grateful that he
had encountered such intellect,
such was the power of Holmes’
observations.
But it was not to be, because, hearing the theme to
Casualty, Holmes turned away.
We watched that and made
toasties.
That man was Vincent Van
Gogh. Though not the artist.
Features
Page 18
Horoscope or Horos-tripe?
Jack Arnott
“Hey sugarlips, what’s your
sign?” We’ve all heard this line
before, often emanating from
the mouth of some shirt-wearing sweaty lothario, the type
that fuses sexual predator and
drunken idiot and then adorns
himself with Next silver jewellery. “What, you’re an Aries?
That’s so… weird! I’m a Capricorn. Sheep and Goat! We are
a perfect match! Let’s mouth
kiss!” Isn’t there something a bit
strange about this?
Another example: thumbing
through the latest issue of Sneak
magazine, my friend pauses and
gasps with horror. “Oh… God…
No” he utters, the colour draining from his face, now twice as
pallid against the orange celebrities in his hands. “What is
it?” I ask. “Are Kerry and Dave
having problems again?” “No.”
He replies. “My horoscope says
that I am going to fail all my exams.” Peering over his shoulder
I read Justin Toper’s latest offering for Virgo. “Your work may
take second place as your man
decides to spice things up in the
bedroom. A saucy stranger will
buy you flowers, or look at you
on the train.” “How is that related to you in any way? You’re
a straight man without a job
and you never take the train!”
I say, exasperated. “No, can’t
you see,” he counters, “work
means my exams, my man
means watching Jeremy Kyle
and there’s still two days left
for the stranger.” I sigh. Twice.
I never fail to be astounded by
how ‘astrology’ still has a place
in our 21st Century society. We
can send a man to the moon,
but we can’t stop people thinking that the moon affects their
love life. A discussion with most
students about Jesus or The
Mole People will be met with
a cynical and dismissive shake
of the head, often with a contemptuous reply such as “Stuff
off, you religious Ronny!” But
these very same people will read
with interest how the planets
are aligning to conspire against
them having a passionate fling
with a work colleague. The word
‘astrology’ makes us think of
pony tailed forty year old men
with one gold hoop earring and
a name like Sandy or River. Yet
there is man of this description
living within all of us. Despite
my consternation, even I glance
at a horoscope every so often,
so desperate that any correlation with my life would somehow prove that there is more to
existence than dissertations and
the Dancing on Ice finals.
A spate of birthdays recently
caused me to ponder whether
perhaps Pisceans (for the uneducated of you February is
Pisces, which is itself a magic
fish) are more likely to become
students than other star signs.
A look on the internet about
individual star sign characteristics gave some interesting results. Pisces, for example, are
calm, emotional and thoughtful,
sometimes pessimistic. Perhaps
qualities which would suit those
who succeeded at school. A brief
glance over to Cancer, which is
a crab, says they are emotional,
confident. And have crab like facial features. I kid you not. It is
generally accepted in astrological circles that those born under the sign of Cancer are very
The moon controls your life. Apparently.
likely to resemble crabs, I guess
with eyes on stalks, red skin and
pincers for ears. If you see any
of these people and decide not
to run away but chat them up,
then don’t ask them what their
star sign is, just guess that they
are a Cancer. Once you tell them
how you knew, they will be very
impressed.
My only reasonable conclusion from all of this is that astrology is a brain washing cult, set
up by Justin Toper and Mystic
Mog in order to take over the
world. After years of drawing
people in with vague yet reassuringly interesting predictions
enough of the world will be under their spell and the stage will
be set.
Then you’ll see new horoscopes like “You will meet a
saucy stranger, but decide to become a soldier in Justin Toper’s
Army of the New World Order.”
Once this happens, not even the
Mole People can save us. But
then I would say that. I’m a pessimistic Pisces.
X on their hands and expressing
themselves through singing socalled angry songs:
need
I’ve got the straight edge
This brilliant and moving song
written by one of my personal
favourites, Minor Threat, gave
the movement its name.
Now what I don’t understand
is why a collective set of beliefs
must be attached to an appreciation of a certain type of music. I may (I’m not ashamed to
admit) like the odd death metal
tune and occasionally have disa-
greements with my parents but
I refuse to conform to wearing
ugly oversized black clothing
and drawing crosses on my self
as a sign of my innermost angst.
And must I also give up alcohol, caffeine and wearing pink?
I’m not sure I like that idea and
think, as I am partial to the odd
drink, have a varied music taste
and also a mind of my own that I
must remain a perplexed ‘curved
edge’ follower.
The straight edge movement
Jenny Laing
If you don’t already know anything about the ‘straight edge’
movement, it’s a movement that
originated in the late 1970s and
early 1980s and is “a subculture
centered around hardcore music”.
Straight edge members do not
smoke, do drugs or consume
alcohol. And “there are no dietary or religious beliefs tied to
straight edge, contrary to media
coverage.”
Now I find the straight edge
(if you will) phenomenon to be a
little confusing and rather vague
and maybe even totally pointless. First of all I’m not entirely
sure what hardcore music comprises of (isn’t this just like saying intense or graphic music?).
Anyway one can spot a
straight edge person as they can
be seen wearing a very attractive
I’m a person just like you
But I’ve got better things to do
Than sit around and f**k my
head
Hang out with the living dead
Snort white s**t up my nose
Pass out at the shows
I don’t even think about speed
That’s something I just don’t
Features
www.wessexscene.co.uk
The glory of sleep
Owain Bury
What busy lives we lead! All this
rushing to and fro from Nuffield
A to Avenue 1065, and we struggle to get a moment’s peace! If
you can get enough moments of
peace a day well done! It is very
valuable, and this is a celebra-
tion of sleep and a plea to make
sure you all get enough and enjoy it! Frequent Jesters hi-jinks
followed by stumbly detours
to Chick-o-land and attempted
entry to Woolworths, returning
your tired little soul to your bed
at 3am on weeknights will deprive you of this essential treat!
Sleep is that rare bit of alone
time where you can allow your
body and mind to recharge in
comfort and bliss, regenerating
the batteries so you can go on
with work and have a little energy the next day. It is healthy and
essential, go without and you
will suffer. Concentration will
Got work to do? It can wait. Sleeping’s far more important.
A fat pet problem
Charlotte Ward
Obesity. Everyone, it would
seem, is worried about it. The
cheap and easy availability of
various fast food options is creating a fat Europe close on the
heels of the giants of flab: the
Americans. 10-20% of men,
and 10-25% of women are
now clinically obese and figures
don’t look like they’ll be shrinking anytime soon. Despite these
rising statistics I can’t help but
feel that we are rejecting our
nation’s pets.
Cats, dogs, hamsters and
guinea pigs have sat watching
their owners gorge themselves
on Indian takeaway or their
post-pub kebab and it has ob-
viously created a sense of jealousy, especially amongst our
feline friends. They see us eating and think if it’s ok for us it
must be fine for them. One particular cat to hit the headlines
recently in China has a staggering waist measurement of 31.5
inches. True it may be hilarious
to watch the poor pussy being
rolled around the floor due to its
newly acquired inability to walk,
but is there a more serious issue
at hand?
My theory is that as we concentrate on eating less, we pass
our caveman food centred urges
onto animals. Instead of feeding
ourselves we feed them and they
are lapping it up little aware of
the heart disease and kidney fail-
ure train speeding towards their
fat furry bodies. By attempting
to heal our addiction to food we
are, in a sense, passing the buck
to our pets. It is a frightening fact
that 50% of household animals
are overweight, although it must
be said that a large proportion of
these apparently originate from
Nottingham. Kell from Nottinghamshire, for example, weighs
an incredible 20 stone. That is
larger than Mikyla Dodd - you
know, the big ginger one from
Hollyoaks.
We all know that if a smoker
quits puffing they may save in
excess of £2000 a year. Imagine
how much can be saved if, next
time there’s an urge to splash
out on Kitty Kat, we resist.
slide, work rate will wane, and
you will most likely be grumpy
for hours.
Sleep is our doorway to a
world that unleashes our imagination and reveals us to be the
best screenwriter in the universe.
Dreams are a myriad mapping of
our thoughts and feelings which
can sometimes shed light on
things we haven’t dwelled on
in our waking hours. The most
exciting, thrilling stories in existence, be it from Dungeon Keeper orcs ravaging a war in a deep
chasm with a scene somewhat
akin to the mosh pit at Queens of
the Stone Age, Reading Festival.
Or a chase by a murderous rat
where your escape is hindered
by exploding red cumulonimbus
clouds, seemingly reminiscent
of cloud forms you revised from
your Geography book before
you went to bed.
Dreams can be fun, terrifying,
or awaken and thrill our senses
without getting tired, yet are not
so good when you have to get
up.
Sleep ends with that annoying alarm clock hidden under an
obstructive chair leg. Its sole aim
is in forcing you to faff about
trying to reach and turn it off for
so long that it ensures you wake
up properly and don’t go back
to sleep. I am yet to muster the
willpower to not return to my
duvet. What can I say? I am in
love with sleep! Yet perhaps my
love is not returned; frequently
it makes me dream that I have
already got up and gone off to
lectures, immersed in my own
self-satisfaction that I had gotten
up early.
Beware my sleepy sheepcounters, bedtime is a luxury
that has a time limit. Enjoy it
while you can but don’t abuse it.
Remember, it is the reward of a
full productive day that you get
to enjoy everyday. Rest, snooze,
dream, and go and savour your
soporific pillow.
Features
Page 20
The war on terror...?
Luke Catterson
I hate to be the bearer of bad
news, but there is currently a
war on. It concerns the United
States of America and our own
fair land. Four and a half years
ago a terrorist organisation flew
hijacked planes into the World
Trade Centre in New York. It was
a horrifying event and George
Bush now wants to rid the world
of terror by eliminating these
terrorist groups. The war began
with a hunt for a man believed
to head the group responsible
for the deliberate plane crashes,
it then led to a war in Iraq which
was to look for weapons of mass
destruction that could lead to
more terror-inducing attacks. As
it turns out the US didn’t find
any weapons of mass destruction and now people think the
war was all about oil. Tony Blair
sent British troops in to help,
supposedly because George
Bush asked him to. Many highly
skilled satirists have since made
hilarious insinuations that the
two World leaders enjoy a homosexual relationship.
I do admire the sentiment behind fighting terror. I have never
been fond of terror. Horror films
are my least favourite genre: if
they are good they make me
scared (which I don’t enjoy) and
if they are bad they are incredibly boring. For a country to be
flying to the other side of the
world to fight terror, I wrongly
assumed they must have already
eradicated it in their own country and so went there for a holiday. I first realised that my holiday would not be perfectly terror-free on the plane. I had not
taken any books as there would
be in-flight entertainment and I
would buy reading material in
America because then I could be
sure it would contain no terrifying passages. Sadly I was somehow left with the terrifying prospect of a Transatlantic flight with
only two Jimmy Fallon films for
entertainment. I sweated and
gripped the armrests for the entire flight. I did decide to forgive
America for this as technically
the act of terror occurred over
international waters.
I was quite shaken by the time
I landed and so when I got into a
taxi to find the driver was called
Terror I nearly fainted. Thankfully his name was actually Terry
and he was lovely. However, later that very night I was walking
down a street. Suddenly a small
child leapt out from behind a bin
and made a high pitched guttural sound. I was literally terrified.
After I managed to regain my
composure I found myself drawn
into a bout of name calling. We
threw some haymakers and even
though I ultimately emerged
victorious the little guy certainly
earned my respect. I have never
been called a sideboard before
and it certainly threw me. It was
only when I had regained my
breath that I remembered I had
become a victim of terror. As a
result I marched him down to
the local police station. I burst
through the doors and placed
the boy on the counter. I then
retold my story and then took
a deep breath, full of satisfaction knowing that this terrible
ordeal was soon to be behind
me. On the walk to the station
I had wondered if I was being a
little harsh. Perhaps what I had
experienced was only extreme
surprise. Reliving my story made
me realise that I was right the
first time, I had definitely been
terrified.
What happened next was
unexpected. A streaker ran
through the police station pausing only to give me a beautifully
handcrafted origami swan. The
policeman seemed unperturbed
by this and gave me a blank look
then asked what I was doing. I
replied that I had found a trace
of terror and so was reporting it
to the police. He said there was
nothing he could do and that the
child should be released. I then
asked the child if he were likely
to re-offend. I then rephrased
the question so he understood
what I was asking and he said
yes. I looked triumphantly at the
policeman but he still told me to
leave. I was flabbergasted, here
I was presenting a child who
openly admitted that he was
going to go out and cause terror, yet the authorities would do
nothing about it. It seems that
America aren’t as concerned
with stamping out terror as they
claim to be. Maybe it was all
about oil.
Are they really fighting terror?
An Ode to Noel Edmonds (and others)
Claire Sinka
That auburn beard, that cheeky
smile, that waistband which is
just that little bit too high.
Is anybody else as happy to
see Noel Edmonds back on our
screens again as I am? And what
a joy of a show to come back
with. If you haven’t seen Deal
or No Deal, quite simply, you’re
a poor excuse for a student. Basically it consists of contestants,
who have spent far too much
time in a television studio, convincing themselves that they’ve
devised a foolproof system of
predicting the outcome of what
is in fact no more than the opening of cardboard boxes at random. Together with Noel having
tense, yet completely imaginary,
telephone conversation with the
one they call The Dealer. And
there’s more melodrama than a
week of Neighbours.
It’s a long time since his
House Party days, but needless
to say, with or without a man
in a giant pink and yellow spotted costume, Noel Edmonds
knows how to present a show.
And so this got me thinking,
what became of all those other
long lost TV presenters from my
early television watching days
that seemed to vanish from our
screens without so much as a
see-you-next-week? And could
they too make a successful television comeback, à la Edmonds?
You can’t beat a bit of Bully.
And nor can you beat a bit of Jim
Bowen and his Bullseye. Now, I
don’t know whose idea it was to
commission a show about darts,
but at least they had the good
sense to get Bowen on board.
Only this man could have made
a show about darts entertaining. Of course, it was always
amusing to see a couple of truck
drivers from Birmingham win
a speedboat, but what I really
want from a show is a friendly
Lancashire-man ready to console the losers, ever ready with
their Bully Tankard And Bus Fare
Home. A lovely man indeed, he
could have been your granddad.
So what of a possible Bowen
TV comeback? With that soothing voice and sympathetic eyes, I
think he could have a fine career
as an agony uncle. I can just see
him sat next to Fern ‘n’ Phil on
This Morning. Or maybe even a
Trisha style talkshow? I’d like to
hear what he has to say on the
topic of Who’s The Daddy? It’s
like he always said, “nothing in
this game for two in a bed.”
Now then, now then, even if
you don’t agree with the merits
of Bowen, I’m sure you’ll have
no quarrel about Jimmy Savile.
Not only was Jim’ll Fix It a won-
drous idea of a show, but, with
his shiny tracksuits and jingly
jangly jewellery, Jimmy Savile
certainly knew how to dress. Cigar in one hand, small child the
other, this man was cool.
He may have recently made a
brief appearance on Big Brother,
but he really is worth more than
that. Seeing as he’s had experience with youngsters maybe a
show along the theme of Super
Nanny would suit him? If he
could tolerate the contents of
the Big Brother house, then a
couple of hyperactive six-yearolds should be no trouble. And if
good reasoning and ‘time outs’
fail to make the children behave, then there’s always bribery. What kid isn’t going to do
as uncle Jimmy says when they
think there’s a ride in a rocket in
it for them? How’s about that
then?
The next on my who’s who
of TV heroes would probably
have to be Rrrroy Waaalker.
Him and Mr Chips made a great
team on Catchphrase. However,
I am aware that both Phoenix
Nights and Radio 1 have already
exhausted this gag, so I’ll leave
it there. But clearly I’m not the
only one who feels Roy has been
away from his public for far too
long. I always felt Roy had a fine
voice for sports commentary,
and what with the World Cup
coming up, this really could be
his year.
So there you are, I hope it’s
clear that there is still a wealth
of TV presenting talent out
there and there really is no need
for Ant and Dec to front every
show ever broadcast. And under
no circumstances is ever any excuse to resort to Dr Fox. These
big shot TV execs need to take a
moment to reflect on their childhoods.
Features
Dear Beryl...
Southampton’s mature student agony aunt
Dear Beryl,
You know how steam comes
out of a cartoon character’s ears
when they are angry? Well, about
6 months ago my boyfriend
and I were arguing furiously on
the fore court of Tesco’s petrol
station on Lodge Road when, at
a particularly heated exchange
of insults, I trumped rather
loudly. My boyfriend nearly wet
his pants with laughter. Well that
made me madder than ever. I
can now see the funny side, but
every time we get into a fight he
makes wise cracks about, well,
my crack joining in on the row.
It’s been 6 months now, how do
I get him to stop?
Jane
Dear Jane,
It’s good that you have
discovered your sense of humour
and a funny mishap is one of the
best ways to relieve tension in
the middle of a fight. That and
punching your opponent in the
face - but I wouldn’t recommend
that as it could lead to a court
appearance. However, enough is
enough. He clearly needs a new
joke to laugh at. Have you tried
puking up all over him? That’ll
either keep him laughing for a
few more months or it’ll shut
him up and you’ll be the one
laughing. Or he’ll dump you.
Love, Beryl
Dear Beryl,
I have a tendency to be a
little curt with people. In fact
sometimes I am downright
cruel. I am lonely and want to
find a soul mate to settle down
with but every time I look into
my crystal ball and ask it about
my love life I see nothing. I
thought that my merciless wit
was to blame so I saw a shrink
who told me that I am haunted
by my mother abandoning me
as a kitten. I tried to forgive her
in order to improve my character
and thus my chances with a
lovely tom, but that didn’t work.
Am I destined to be a catty little
bitch until this world tires of me?
It’s making me feel so empty!
Please help!
Mog
Dear Mog,
Well, how should I know?
You’re supposed to be the
psychic one. I think your magic
ball may be the problem: trade
it in for one of those Magic 8Balls. They’re far more reliable
than you are anyway and will
do us all a favour. May I also
suggest you hide your lack-ofpsychicness from the Ed or she’ll
no longer think you’re the cat’s
whiskers and you’ll be signing
on the dole in no time. As far
as your mother goes: invest in a
good DIY voodoo kit. They come
with instruction manuals so you
should be ok. And stop being so
bloody soft. I have bought you
a new stone to sharpen your
claws with...
Love Beryl
Dear Beryl,
I have been at Southampton
University since the birth of
the earth. I even remember a
time before The CUBE and can
confirm that such urban myths
as Poundstretcher and the tunnel
being orange are indeed more
than just legends. However,
my departure from this place
is imminent and I am worried
about how I will cope when I am
forced out in to the cold cruel
world beyond the soft bosom of
Mother Education. How will the
Union cope without my unrivalled
knowledge of the Constitution?
Who will the Vice-President
Communications (sorry, Media
& Communications) turn to
when they need inspiration for
an amusing story for Dear Beryl?
Will Union Council turn into a
free-for-all without my expert
Do you have a problem? Don’t know what to do
next? Do you have no-one to turn to in your hour
of need and want a decent answer?
Write to Beryl at beryl@wessexscene.co.uk.
Confidentiality assured.
guidance? I am in turmoil. I
know only you can help me.
The Eternal Student
Dear Eternal Student,
Your wisdom has lead you
to me - well who else?! There
comes a time when everyone
has to move on, and yours is
just around the corner. Or is
it? If the world really is too
much to bear, never fear, Beryl
is here with some alternative
options:
1. I hear that PGCEs are
popular with famous Union
faces.
2. Bump off the ViceChancellor and apply for his
job. You’re over-qualified.
3. Bump off George, the
Union’s Permanent Secretary the man who knows all there is
to know about anything and a
lot more to boot. The Sabbaticals
will be lost without him and you
will be the logical replacement.
But may I advise that you brush
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Mystic Mog
Sex Special
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
It’s quickies galore this month.
Well, lets me honest, you can’t
manage any longer...
Taurus (Apr 21 - May 20)
Unlike your aries counterpart,
you just can’t stop you naughty
devil you! Alternate between
yours and your partner’s houses
to give your poor housemates a
break.
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)
You want to do it in all sorts of
strange places. You’ve always
been a bit on the wacky side,
but I would draw the line at
public conveniences.
Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)
Your best mate is fed up that
you’ve been ignoring her for
your bloke lately. Why not invite
her to join in next time?
up on the Constitution a little
first. Despite the rather bold
claim in your letter, George can
quote it backwards in Swahili
while hanging from the ceiling
and including amusing little
anecdotes. Trust me, I have seen
him do it.
Love, Beryl
SUSU-doku
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 23)
Come come now you Leos. Stop
hiding and get out and play.
You’ll never get anything more
than a tongue sarnie out of a tin
from ASDA at this rate!
Virgo (Aug 24 - Sep 22)
Bus rides are boring. Fact. And
the U1 from Wessex Lane to
Highfield is not long enough to
liven up like THAT so don’t even
risk it!
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 23)
Your house is messy. Time to
sort it out. Get your other half
over and dosome saucy naked
hoovering. You’ll clean the place
and end up exercising - two in
one! Way hey!
Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 22)
Keep your head down and that
weirdo from Jesters might not
recognise you - who are you
kidding?!
Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 21)
Sex + showers = trip to A&E.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you...
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
We all suffer from a drought now
and then. But that needn’t be a
bad thing. Hop along to Ann
Summers and treat yourself.
Aquarius (Jan 21 - Feb 19)
You’re about to have THE best
session of your life. Yep, it’ll
never be this good again. Suicide
IS an option you might like to
consider...
How to play!
Every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the numbers
1 through to 9, without duplicating any numbers. There should be
no guesswork or maths involved!
Pisces (Feb 20 - Mar 20)
Believe in yourself and chase your
ambitions. Or your neighbours.
Either way it’ll waste a few hours
until the bar opens.
Competition
Page 22
Get into the driving seat with Neon
Simon Cable
More and more young people are learning to drive and
discovering the joys of freedom
that passing your driving test
permits. With this in mind, the
Wessex Scene has joined forces
with Southampton’s Neon Driving School to bring you an excellent competition.
Peter Grist. a mature student
at the University of Southampton and a fully-qualified Department of Transport Authorised
Driving Instructor and the owner
of Neon, has offered one lucky
Wessex Scene reader a course of
10 driving lessons worth a staggering £220 absolutely free!
And that’s not all; there are
runner-up prizes of a single free
driving lesson for 25 others.
Peter, who has lived in Southampton for 15 years and spent
12 of those as a teacher of driver
education and road safety, told
the Wessex Scene, “Being a
part-time student myself, I understandhow student life works
and the needs and wishes of
the people that we teach. So
whether you are starting from
scratch or want to build on what
you have already been taught
[at another driving school], we
can help you get your driving licence.”
All you have to do is correctly
answer all of the following three
questions correctly to be in with
a chance of winning!
Just email your answers to
Southampton University Students’ Union Vice-President
Communications, Laura Fewell,
at vpcomms@susu.org by 5pm
on Friday 24 March. Winners
will be picked at random out of
a hat.
This offer is only open to existing students of the University of Southampton holding a
provisional car licence. No cash
alternative. Closing date: Friday
24 March 2006.
To win, answer the following questions: What do these three road signs mean?
a)
b)
c)
a) You have right of way
b) No overtaking
c) Smaller vehicles keep left
d) Oncoming traffic has priority
a) Road noise
b) Airport ahead
c) Crosswinds
d) I’ve left my washing out
a) Keep in single file
b) Queues likely
c) Keep your distance
d) Car park
Email your correct answers to SUSU Vice-President Communications
on vpcomms@susu.org by 24 March with the subject line “Neon
Competition” to be in with a chance of winning
WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Page 24
Sport
Editorial
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Polo Club raises a gallop
Southampton’s Polo Club make their mark on the Arena Championships
Natasha Collings
Alex Hayes
Hi and welcome to the last edition of Sportscene before the
Easter break.
In November last year, whilst
playing for the Southampton
Medics, Mike Davis collapsed
after suffering a cardiac arrest.
Fortunately those around Mike
managed to keep him breathing for 25 minutes until an ambulance could arrive, and after
a few weeks recuperation Mike
is now back playing sport and
studying for his degree.
On Saturday, 18 March, Mike
and the Medics Rugby Team will
be taking on a team of Wessex
Legends, a who’s who of Southampton University’s RFC of the
last few years in a charity rugby
match in aid of the Royal Hampshire County Hospital Winchester’s Intensive Care Unit and
the charity Cardiac Risk in the
Young (CRY). CRY help counsel the families of the eight to
twelve young people who die
every week in the UK from undiagnosed heart conditions similar
to Mike’s. The charity is aiming
to set up a scheme for screening young sportspeople to try to
prevent as many of these incidents as possible. Tickets for the
event, held at Wide Lane, are £3
and include a queue jump for
Jesters that night. They’re available on the gate.
Similarly, some of Mike’s
friends are undertaking a sponsored cycle ride from Lands End
to John O’Groats in order to
raise money for CRY. Details of
their 850 mile journey and sponsorship details can be found at
http://www.justgiving.com/
EndtoEnd-CRY.
This issue sees contributions
from the new Uni Polo Club, the
Vixens Cheerleading Squad and
the Kickboxers, and Saints fans
go head to head over the value
of Rupet Lowe’s contribution to
the Club.
Happy Easter, Al.
Polo at the University is going
from strength to strength with
some excellent placings at the
annual SUPA (Schools and Universities Polo Association) Arena
Championships against some
very strong competition.
Polo was reintroduced to the
University last year following a
surge of interest from the Riding
Club and this was the first time
teams have been sent to the four
day long Arena Championships.
The Championships see over 30
universities battle it out for the
honours in four sections: beginner, novice, intermediate and
open. This year 62 teams attended and Southampton firmly
made their mark on the tournament with all of the teams finishing in the top four of their
sections.
The novice team of Ailsa Maclean, Jonny Gates and Mike
Wood fought strongly against
some tough competition, easily
winning both matches on the
first day against established polo
playing Universities Oxford and
Nottingham. Some unlucky penalties meant that the second day
saw a loss against London in the
semi-final but the team found
their form again to beat UWE,
taking third in the section.
The beginner first team of Natasha Collings, Laura Greenwood
and Lucy Scrivens also won both
their first day matches against
UWE and the Royal Agricultural
College to reach the semi-finals
but unfortunately just lost out to
the on-form teams of London
and Exeter on the second day
to take fourth in Division One of
the section.
The beginner second team of
Nikki Wood, Sophie Scott-Hoad
and Mike Wood kept up Southampton’s winning first day streak
to win their league after beating
Exeter and drawing against Nottingham B. The second day saw
a closely fought match against
The Novice team of Jonny Gates, Ailsa Maclean and Mike Wood in full flight in the SUPA Champs
Natasha Collings in action
London result in a loss to Southampton but the team came back
in the second match to beat Nottingham C and take third place
in Division Two of the section. A
brilliant weekend was rounded
off by Mike Wood being given
the coveted Most Valuable Player award in the novice section.
All the teams are now training
hard and are planning to attend
the summer Championships
which will see more fast and furious action!
If you are interested in getting
involved in University Polo, the
Riding Club runs weekly lessons
and team training for all standards of rider and polo player,
including complete beginners.
Contact riding@soton.ac.uk or
see www.soton.ac.uk/~riding.
Varsity date looms large
Alex Hayes
After long and arduous negotiations, the date has been set for
this year’s annual Varsity match
between Southampton University and Solent University.
Wednesday, 22 March, will
see teams representing the
hockey, rugby and netball clubs
take to their respective pitches
at Wide Lane to do battle in this
hotly contested tournament.
The netball is first to start at
2pm, when the Southampton
Women will be aiming to repeat
their triumph over the Solent
in the annual Walkabout Cup
match at the beginning of the
season.
The Hockey pushes back at
2.30pm and promises to be an
entertaining match as this fixture traditionally produces lots
of goals, most of which come
for Southampton University‘s
side. With an array of attacking
talent on display Southampton
will once again enter this match
as favourites, although the traditional fire and determination
shown by the Solent will mean
they are no pushovers.
The final fixture of the day
sees the two universities lock
horns on the rugby field. These
two sides are well used to each
other by now having already
met twice this season. In the
Walkabout Cup Southampton
University’s side comfortably triumphed 40-8. However, when
the teams met recently, the University only managed to score
21 unanswered points, and so
if the traditional Solent squad
strengthening has ensued, it
could make for an interesting
and fiery battle, as both teams
have points to prove.
Southampton
University
spectators are actively encouraged to come along; the Solent
traditionally has a strong representation on the sidelines. Tickets for the event are only £2 for
a whole afternoon’s entertainment with the award presentations at 5.30pm. All monies from
the afternoon will go to RAG,
and the bar will be open for ‘refreshments’. Come and support
as this Uni aims to sweep the
board as in the past few years.
Sport
Page 26
Sports in
Brief
Kickboxing to victory
The Kickboxing Club travel to Kent for the Inter-University Championship
Chris Harris
Rugby
The newly formed SUSC (Southern Universities Sports Conference) is now in full swing, giving
the Club’s first team a chance to
claim some silverware from an
otherwise disappointing season.
The Wessex team travelled to
Brighton where they overcame a
poor looking Brighton side 47-5
in one of their most convincing
displays this year.
The competition also brought
and added bonus of another
fixture against the Solent. The
Wessex pack failed to dominate
the set piece as they had against
Brighton; however, some excellent enterprise from the backs
meant that Wessex continued to
go forward and were 14-0 up at
the interval.
The second half got no better
with Solent struggling to make
the most of their possession, and
in the last play of the game an
interception by Goodman saw
him feeding Tom Marks who
had the pace to beat the cover
defence from his own 22 sealing
a 21-0 victory.
Hockey
Both the Men’s and Women’s
first teams were in action on
Wednesday, 1 March, in the
BUSA Trophy.
The men were at home to
Portsmouth University in a big
South Coast Derby. A decent
display saw the team run out 72 victors, with Chris Land scoring two of the goals. The team
now continue their challenge for
silverware at home to Bath Seconds, a team they have already
beaten twice this season.
The Women’s team travelled
to Birmingham to take on the
seconds in a very competitive
match. Excellent hockey saw
Wessex go into half time 1-0
up, courtesy of Susie Hunt. A
deflected shot in the second
half beat Lindsey Martin in the
Wessex goal ensuring the match
went into Golden Goal extra
time. A stalemate ensued and
the match was decided on penalty flicks. Wessex were unable
to convert, so Birmingham, slotting in three, ran out winners.
The Southampton University
Kickboxing Club headed to Kent
on the weekend of 25 February
for the Inter-University Championships. The competition saw
six universities (Southampton,
Kent, Reading, Cambridge, Cardiff and Bristol) going head to
head in light-continuous fights
ending the day with the finals
in the main ring. Southampton
sent twelve of its fighters and of
course some enthusiastic spectators to represent the Club.
The Inter-University Championship is one of the biggest
tournaments of the year for
the Club and gives fighters the
chance to try out their skill and
fitness against university competitors of similar standard. The
tournament was well organised
and the Women’s fights got off
to a speedy start around noon.
Katie Morrison on her way to taking the Gold medal
Feather-weight fighters Catherine Marks and Suk Leung fought
strong fights, but unfortunately
lost out to home team Kent.
The Men’s fights followed on
the mats and new member Chris
Varma obliterated his opponent
as some spectacularly executed
kicks saw him safely through to
the next round. The other fighters in this weight category also
put up excellent fights, especially as for some of them it was
their first tournament.
Southampton further demonstrated their skill as Ian Radcliffe
reached the semi-finals and Jos
Akhtman continually forced his
opponent into the ropes to score
some very good shots in the
main ring fight.
Southampton’s success of the
day, though, was in the finals as
Club President Katie Morrison
stormed to first place in her category. Southampton dominated
the finals in this grouping as
Morrison ended up against team
mate Jess Dadanilolaou. Both
fought a smooth clean fight but
Morrison’s timing was excellent
and she took first place.
All our fighters took away
medals and, with the Club taking a gold and silver back to
Southampton, the day was a
success. The Club looks forward
to returning to Kent next year to
defend their titles and, of course,
to bring back more trophies.
More details about this tournament and the Club can be
found at www.soton.ac.uk/
~kickbox.
Cheering success in 2006
Southampton Vixen Cheerleaders prepare for a busy competition season
Cat Stormont
It looks like a great achievement is on the horizon again
for the Southampton Vixen
Cheerleaders. After a successful 2004/2005 campaign, which
saw the Vixen’s winning three
top trophies including gold in
dance the Southampton and
Solent Universities Cheerlead-
ing Team are in preparation for
what will be a busy competition
season.
This year sees the team entering twice as many national level
events, with bigger and more
complex routines and the hope
of raising the standard of university cheerleading in the UK. Today, cheerleading is one of the
fastest growing sports among
The squad performing at the national championships last year
young people in the UK, not
least in the university division.
In 2004 both the UK Cheerleading Association (UKCA) and
the British Cheerleading Association (BCA) held university divisions at their national competitions for the first time. In 2005
the BCA were forced to allow an
open division in their universities
competition as squads were now
performing at such a complex
level, requiring video qualification and an over 18s age range,
due to the danger involved in
some of the stunts.
With no league or tournament system equivalent to that
of BUSA, university cheerleaders have pushed to compete in
national and international senior
and open divisions across the
country in order to perform the
more taxing stunts that they are
now learning in order to be the
best.
By adopting a professional approach and recruiting the help of
certified ‘cheer companies’, the
Vixens are part of a new wave
of UK cheerleaders that want to
develop university cheerlead-
ing to the level seen in North
America.
With the first competitions
spanning Easter Sunday and
Easter Monday, the Vixens competition squads are busy working on their dance, cheer, and
stunt routines and are hoping to
bring back trophies from all four
national events this year.
But it is not just their own
competitions that the Vixens are
getting excited about. Southampton University American
Football team, The Southampton Stags, are storming into the
playoffs of the British Collegiate
American Football League finals
and the Vixens are cheering
loud and proud on the sideline
of every game. Rain or shine the
squad supports The Stags with
cheers and chants during play,
and performs slick half time routines for the spectators.
To find out more about the
Vixens and how you can get involved with the squad go to the
website at www.freewebs.com/
southamptonvixencheerleaders
or email Cat Stormont at southamptonvixens@yahoo.co.uk.
Sport
www.wessexscene.co.uk
As Lowe as Saints will go?
Is Saints Chairman Rupert Lowe ruining the Southampton Football Club, or is he a visionary
planning for a bright future? Wessex Sport lets two fans have their say...
Chris Harris
There have been few more
depressing times to be a supporter of Southampton Football
Club. Relegated from England’s
top flight, our top players sold;
we’re looking more likely to
achieve successive relegations
than bouncing straight back to
the Premiership. There appears
little to lift the gloom surrounding St Mary’s right now.
A top flight club for 27 years,
the current plight of the club is
unthinkable. Yet no one seems
to have taken any responsibility
for such a situation. While the
finger of blame could be pointed
at all areas of the Club, there is
really only one villain in this sorry tale. Southampton’s arrogant,
hockey-loving, duck-shooting
Chairman Rupert Lowe. He’s the
man who has succeeded in turn-
Ash Dean
The appointment of successful
Scottish manager George Burley a week before the opening
of the January transfer window was a silver glint hovering
at the edges of the dark storm
clouds that have lingered over St
Mary’s in recent times. Whether
it is the root of a flourishing new
beginning remains to be seen.
Public opinion is that if Burley is
the perfect seed he will need far
more adequate soil than that of
business-minded chairman Rupert Lowe.
Despite the Club’s recent
downfall let us not forget what
Lowe has brought to the Saints
since his 1996 takeover. He has
transformed a declining and unambitious club into a multi-million pound football franchise
without diminishing the soul and
passion of the game. The rundown Dell was transformed in
ing Southampton Football Club
into a laughing stock.
The jury has been out on
Rupert Lowe since he assumed
control of the Club ten years
ago. Then I was only too happy
to praise the man. Having finished comfortably in the top half
of the Premiership and enjoyed a
wonderful run to the FA Cup final
(thereby qualifying for Europe)
Saints looked in great shape.
Lowe, it appeared, had got
things right. The appointment
of Gordon Strachan seemed inspired, Lowe had paved the way
for a fantastic new stadium, and
there was a feeling of unprecedented optimism surrounding
the Club. What is apparent now
is that the Club was at a crossroads, and Lowe led us down
the wrong path. With the right
investment the Club could have
progressed to become an estab-
lished European side, yet, as ever
with Rupert Lowe, he chose the
cheap option. With just £2 million offered to Strachan to bring
in new players for the European
adventure Saints fell at the first
hurdle. By the end of the season
Strachan had left. The first steps
of the Club’s dramatic decline
had been taken.
Steve Wigley, a man with
no experience of management,
was then called up to replace
Strachan, quickly followed by
Harry Redknapp who is no
doubt a villain in his own right.
Redknapp’s heart was clearly
never in the Southampton job;
his subsequent return to arch
rivals Portsmouth stands as testament to this. But Lowe is the
problem here. Surely he could
have picked up on Redknapp’s
lack of interest, and his decisions this summer after relega-
tion no doubt made it easier for
Redknapp to move back up the
road. The sale of key player’s
such as Phillips and Crouch for
big money was expected, but no
team will return to the Premiership by selling key players and
then not attempting to replace
them. Rather than spend a paltry £2 million on Clinton Morrison, a proven Premiership striker,
£90,000 was paid for the services of Ricardo Fuller, who has
scored just three times all season and has now been farmed
out on loan to Championship
rivals Ipswich. Morrison moved
to Crystal Palace, who also hung
onto England striker Andy Johnson. Palace are fourth and Saints
are hovering nine points above
relegation.
The appointment of George
Burley is a sensible one. He is
a manager with a proven track
villain
hero
a £32 million pound project into
The Friends Provident St Mary’s
Stadium, a 32,500 capacity stadium, good enough to host England international matches.
Despite a seeming lack of patience with managers, he struck
success with the appointment of
Gordon Strachan, who guided
the Club to a record highest
league position of eighth as well
as their first FA Cup Final appearance since their famous 1976
win over Manchester United.
Although eventually losing 1-0
to Arsenal in Cardiff, the Gunners’ qualification for the Champion’s League meant the UEFA
Cup place at stake was handed
to the Saints, ensuring their first
ever venture into Europe.
Strachan kept the Saints clear
of danger the following year
but the team failed to recapture
their previous form. Confidence
waned further when Strachan
announced that he was to resign
at the end of the campaign to
dedicate more time to his family. Lowe’s infamous impatience
led to his showing Strachan
the door as early as February
as the inevitable new era was
ushered in early, replacing him
with Plymouth manager Paul
Sturrock. Managers have since
Lowe: hero or villain?
failed to capture the stability
and progression Lowe demands.
After only two games of his first
full season Sturrock was controversially sacked before the appointment of former Director of
Youth Football and reserve team
manager Steve Wigley resulted in one solitary Premiership
win in fourteen games. Finding
themselves in a relegation dogfight the great escape scenario
was left in the hands of former
Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp who not only failed to
save the Club’s top flight status
but eventually turned his back
on the Saints for a return to their
south coast rivals.
It may be fair to argue that
Lowe can be blamed for a lack
of continuity and stability but
the motives of his actions are
ultimately in the Club’s best interests. His erratic method of
searching for a highly competent manager has every once in
record at this level and above,
and recent performances suggest an improvement. But Lowe
is still a hindrance. Even as Saints
look to rebuild, the sale of starlet Theo Walcott, heralded as
the next Wayne Rooney, was
another blow. The anti-Lowe
protests are in full swing and
any Saints fan who cares about
the Club should get involved.
The takeover rumours that persist should be encouraged as a
change at the top is desperately
needed. Running a football club
is about passion; the team comes
above all else. Lowe’s reign has
been one of arrogance and false
promises and Walcott’s sale has
proved the final straw for many.
The jury has come to its decision
and Lowe is guilty of ruining
Southampton Football Club. It’s
time to go Rupert, our Club has
suffered enough.
a while proven to be fruitful.
His astute approach has provided a great foundation for
possible success with the right
guidance. Southampton are no
longer a small fish in a big pond,
they are more like a beached
whale waiting for a resurgence
and a monumental prod in the
right direction.
Whether Lowe stays or sells
up, no one can deny the immense transformation he can
be accredited with. The Saints’
fortunes may not be acceptable
or comfortable with the fans but
that may be quickly forgotten
as the Burley era takes shape.
With the exceptional potential
outcome of Lowe’s investments
in youth and facilities, bringing players like Theo Wallcott
through and establishing an
academy which is the envy of
many clubs in the country, it
seems a matter of not if, but
when.
SPORT
wessex
Winter Sports Show Off
Uni Ski and Snowboard race team give Wessex Sport a run down
Nick Cronk
On the 11 and 12 November
the University Ski and Snowboard race team made the long
trip to the Hill-End dry ski slope
in Edinburgh to compete against
all the universities in the UK in
the National Ski and Snowboard
Championships. The Championships involved a variety of competitions including individual
slalom and giant slalom, team
dual slalom, and freestyle skiing
and snowboarding.
The Scottish weather being what it is however, driving
rain and gusting winds of up to
90mph meant that the first day
of competition was limited, with
the giant slalom for the skiers being cancelled. The Snowboarders on the other hand struggled
on with their team dual slalom,
creditably making their way to
the quarter finals.
Overnight the winds abated
allowing a jam-packed day of
racing to take place on day two.
This commenced with the women’s individual slalom where
On your marks, get set...!
creditably all of our female competitors finished the course. The
best result came from newcomer
Nathalie Tunna who finished in
tenth of 200 women. Following
the women’s race was the highly
competitive men’s slalom on the
same course. With the course
still very wet Southampton’s
men failed to make as great an
impact, though Toby Gallington
came placed 25 of the 300 competitors.
The snowboarders then took
over the slope to compete in
their giant slalom. Amy Hammond had a spectacular run finishing second, and Adam Gordon finished 13th for the men.
As evening approached, the final event was held: the ski dual
slalom. Southampton entered
two teams, the second team unfortunately being knocked out
in the first round; however, the
first team went on to the semis
and finished in the top 16. After
all the racing had finished there
was a black tie ball held in the
unusual venue of a leisure centre. We then headed home on
the Sunday. This was definitely a
very successful but tiring trip.
The Squad has also been
competing in the Kings Ski Club
League which features universities from both London and the
South. So far, two rounds of this
competition have been completed, bringing a lot of success for
the Club as a whole. We have
entered four mixed ski teams, all
of which are in the top 13 teams
in the league and our first team
is currently tied in first place with
Natives, a team of ex-university
student skiers.
The ladies teams are also doing well. The second ladies are
in fifth place and the first ladies
are presently in second, one
point off Imperial and Hertfordshire University who share the
top spot. The snowboarders are
also doing very well currently
lying in fourth position. There
are two more rounds to go before the finals held at the end
of the season, with the Club in
a strong position to mount a serious challenge for the overall
title. However, the dry ski slope
at High Wycombe, where all of
the racing has taken place so far,
has recently burnt down and a
new venue has yet to be decided upon.
The early hours of Wednesday, 1 March, after a good night
out in Jesters, saw a group of
intrepid skiers from both Southampton and Exeter universities
make the long journey to Castleford for the Ski to Help event.
This was a charity event in aid
of the Tsunami Appeal and was
six hours of sponsored non-stop
skiing. Before this, however, was
a team dual slalom where the
Southampton team, slightly the
worse for wear after the long
journey and copious alcohol
intake the night before, were
Snowboard slalom run
knocked out by the weakest
team present. The event was
a huge success though with
contributions in the region of
£20,000.
If you are interested in competing, whether its freestyle,
slalom or GS, Southampton University Snowsports can offer it
all. To find out more about the
competition scene, trips to the
Alps, socials or lessons visit our
website at www.sussc.com, or
if you have any questions email
one of our squad captains at either racecaptain@sussc.com or
boardcaptain@sussc.com. We
train every Thursday night at
the Southampton Alpine Centre
under the supervision of highly
qualified European coaches (£6
for a one hour session with all
the kit included). You don’t have
to be an expert, you just have to
be able to get down the slope.
Why not come and give it a go?
www.wessexscene.co.uk