Emotional Intelligence Presentation - SHRM

Transcription

EQ – A DIFFERENT KIND OF
SMART
Lin J.
J Little,
Little SPHR
ljlittle@arkbluecross.com
Best Boss vs
vs. Worst Boss
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Brains Alone
Don’t Make a
Leader
Is a primary derailer
of top executives.
Center for Creative Leadership
p
Frrom: Q-Metric
cs
A lack of impulse
control ...
Objectives:
¾
¾
¾
¾
To define emotional
intelligence (EQ)
To learn whyy it
matters
To explore
p
the nature
of the core EQ skills
To link EQ and
important outcomes
8-4 What EQ Is Not
What Is Emotional
Intelligence?
The capacity
Th
it ffor recognizing
i i
our
own feelings and those of others,
f motivating
for
ti ti
ourselves,
l
ffor
managing emotions well in
ourselves
l
and
d iin our relationships.
l ti
hi
Daniel Goleman
The Facts

Emotion is information.
We can try to ignore emotion, but it
doesn’t work.
We can try to hide emotions, but we are
not as good at it as we think.
Decisions must incorporate emotions to
b effective.
be
ff ti
The Emotionally Intelligent Manager
David Caruso & Peter Salovey
Grow your EQ!
“It is very important to understand that
emotional intelligence is NOT the
opposite of intelligence
intelligence, it is NOT the
triumph of heart over head – it IS the
unique intersection of both.”
David Caruso
EQ Today
“Emotions are the colors of the soul;
they are spectacular and incredible
incredible.”
The Shack
Why is EQ Critical Now?
Why is EQ Critical Now?
• Knowledge and relationships are the currency of the
new economy.
• EQ links to job and bottom line performance
• Changes in the “emotional” brain are possible.
• Companies high in EQ are more likely to succeed
succeed.
"Success in the knowledge economy comes to those who
know themselves-their strengths, their values, and how
to best perform.“
Peter Drucker
The Secret Ingredient ….
for taking a company o ta g a co pa y
from Good to GREAT
is EQ
which accounts for 58% of ALL
job performance
performance.
The greatest ability in business is to get along
The
greatest ability in business is to get along
with others and to influence their actions.
Impact of EQ on Bottom line
• At Coca Cola, division leaders who developed
EQ competencies exceeded their performance
targets by 15%. Those who didn’t missed by
15%.
15%
• Hallmark Communities found that sales
associates who developed EQ skills were 25%
more productive. TalentSmart, 2008
• 70% of employees’
p y
perception
p
p
of working
g
climate is linked to EQ of leader. Goleman,
2000
I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today
it means getting along with people. ~Indira Gandhi
More Bottom line Impact
• Leaders high in EQ are more productive
(Cherniss and Goleman, 2001)
• Emotions are contagious. Top leaders
i fl
influence
th
the climate
li t off th
the tteam as
much as 50-70% (Hay Group, 2003)
• National
N ti
l productivity
d ti it would
ld iincrease b
by
$79 billion a year if US workers were 5%
more engaged
d (Gallup)
• Job satisfaction is a better predictor of
l
longevity
it th
than smoking
ki or exercise
i
(Dept. of Labor 1988)
Impact of NOT Raising EQ
• Reasons for losing customers and clients
are 70% EQ-related (6seconds.org, 2004)
• 50% of time wasted in business is due to
lack of trust (6seconds.org, 2004)
• Cost
C t tto replace
l
a manager or sales
l
position is 250% of compensation package
(Center for Creative Leadership
Leadership, 2003)
EQ increases with
age to about 60,
th
then
d
decreases
Child like, not childish.
The great man is he who does not lose his
child's heart. -- Mencius
THE HUMAN BRAIN
Neocortex
The part of the brain most
recentt in
i evolution
l ti iis
associated with complex
thought.
Prefrontal Lobes
The brain’s executive center:
integrates information from all
parts of the brain and makes
decisions to act.
Thalamus
Processes sensory
messages (e.g., eyes and
ears) then routes them
mainly to the neocortex.
Amygdala
Triggers emotional responses.
Typically gets signals from the
neocortex, but a quicker and
fuzzier signal comes directly from
the thalamus. Can hijack the brain
when it perceives an emergency.
Brain Stem
The most primitive part of the
brain. Is associated
predominantly with automatic
reflexes, as well as memory
and learning.
Event
Automatically
Att d To
Attend
T
Event
Body
ody
Changes
Distinct
Experience
Distinct
Thoughts
Emotional
Level
Brief
Duration
Starts
Fast
Split Seconds
Ready
To Act
“Move Your Finger”
Awareness
Of Intent
Intent
.19 - .23
Action
.19 - .23
Benjamin Libet
Neurosurgeon
Stages
g of an Amygdala
yg
Hijack
E
Emotion
al Inten
nsity
High
g
u
u
Strong Feelings
(anger fear
(anger,
fear, joy,
joy etc
etc.))
Physical Arousal
(rapid breathing, etc.)
Automatic Reaction
(want to yell, say
something nasty)
u
Trigger
Low
Reaction
Time
All learned
early in life,
so not
always
appropriate
in adult
situations.
Regret or
Remorse
Amygdala
yg
Hijack
j
Exercise
•
•
•
•
What factors made y
you more
vulnerable to hijacks?
What patterns of triggers or
catalysts can you identify?
What fed it or kept it going?
What did you do to avoid it?
http://www youtube com/watch?v=aIrq
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIrq_
wnNNnY
When are we at risk of hijacks?
We are more likely to have Amygdala Hijacks in
certain types of situations.
situations Some examples are:
when
we are feeling tired
when
we have a build-up of stressors - “the last
straw”
when
we have invested significant effort into
something
when
when
we have been drinking alcohol
we are involved in an activity closely
related to our motivations.
Good News!
• You can develop
p Emotional
Intelligence!
– “Rewire” y
your responses
p
to feelings.
g
– Change how you feel/think/act.
– Alter your mental models.
Emotions
Emotions
Emotions
Thoughts
Behavior
Thoughts
Behavior Performance
Performance
Thoughts
Behavior
9 The Four EQ Skills
CORE COMPETENCIES of EQ
I t
Intrapersonal
l (5)
Interpersonal (3)
Adaptability (3)
Stress Management (2)
General Mood (2)
INTRAPERSONAL
•
•
•
•
•
Self‐Awareness
S
lf A
Assertiveness
Self‐Regard
Self‐Actualization
Self
Actualization
Independence
• Interpersonal Relationships
INTERPERSONAL • Empathy
• Social Responsibility
ADAPTABILITY
• Problem‐Solving
• Reality Testing
• Flexibility
STRESS MANAGEMENT
• Stress Tolerance
• Impulse Control
General • Happiness
Mood • Optimism
Intrapersonal -SELF--AWARENESS
SELF
The
Th ability
bilit tto ffully
ll understand
d t d myself
lf and
d
use that information to manage emotions
productively.
d ti l
“The key to understanding others is to
understand oneself.
Helen Williams
SELF--AWARENESS
SELF
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¾
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Self-confident
SelfV l
Values
O
Oriented
i t d
Realistic selfself-assessment
Open to candid feedback
and seek it out
Self--deprecating sense of
Self
humor
humor
Aware of own feelings;
why they occur and the
impact on others
Begin with the end in mind
mind.
Stephen Covey
Self--awareness is more than …..
Self
TOOLS
¾
¾
MBTI –
www.humanmetrics.com
Ö Jung Typology
Strengths Finder 2.0
Tom Rath
¾
Emotional Intelligence
g
2.0
Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves
¾
Values Sort
The “How”
How
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Quit treating your feelings as
“Good or Bad”
Observe the ripple effect from
your emotions
Lean into your discomfort
Feel your emotions physically
Know who and what pushes
your buttons
Watch yourself like a hawk
Keep a journal about your
emotions
Visit your values
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¾
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¾
¾
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Don’t be fooled by a bad mood
Don’t be fooled by a good
mood, either
Stop
p and ask yyourself WHY
you do the things you do
Check yourself
Spot your emotions in books
books,
movies and music
Seek feedback
Get to know yourself under
stress
Self Talk
"The
The most
influential person
who will talk to
you all day is
YOU so you
YOU,
should be very
careful about
what you say to
you!" —Zig Ziglar
you!
“One of the early signs of
sophistication is not giving way
to all inclinations but rather
sending your emotions to school
so they will learn how to
behave.”
Jim Rohn
Controlling Your Behavior
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Show restraint
Respond calmly
Calms others
Pays attention to
nonverbal cues
Does not take things
personally
Also aids in ability to handle
and tolerate stress
Strengths = Added 390% to
incremental profit
“If you can keep your wits about you while all others are losing theirs…..” hil ll h
l i
h i
”
Rudyard Kipling
What pushes your “buttons”?
buttons ?
Interpersonal - EMPATHY
The ability
y to be attentive to, to
understand, and to appreciate the
feelings
g of others…it is being
g able to
“emotionally read” other people.
“Sympathizers
“S
thi
are spectators;
t t
empathizers
thi
wear game
shoes.”
Unknown
Benefits of Empathy

Helps in building and retaining talent
Increases cross cultural sensitivity
Improves service to clients/customers
C t selfCreates
selflf-awareness in
i th
the lilistener
t
Increases others’ self
self--esteem
Encourages honesty and
understanding
g
In the communication process, knowledge is not always wisdom, sensitivity is not always
accuracy, and sympathy is not always understanding. All customer service and the
ability to gain trust and repeat business is based on empathy. Empathy is “feeling
with” and never assuming anything until you have “walked a mile in the other person’s
moccasins.”” S
Since it is impossible to know the road another has walked, the best
alternative is to ask questions with interest and respect, and listen for the hidden
agendas and desires.
Increasing Empathy
Listening is an active
mental process
that requires
thought.
The first step to
wisdom
id
iis silence;
il
the
h
second is listening.
Unknown
The “HOW”
HOW of Empathy
¾ Talk
less – listen
more
¾ Read nonverbal
cues
¾ See others’
others
perspectives
¾ Develop
De elop
relationships –not
“contacts”
SOCIAL EXPERTNESS
Ability to build genuine
relationships and bonds and
express caring, concern and
conflict in healthy ways.
Build a Relationship “Bank”
Sweat the Small Stuff
RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT
¾
Helps in building rapport
and
d networks
t
k – finding
fi di
common ground.
Makes us effective in
leading change
persuasiveness
building and leading
teams
St
Strengths
th = added
dd d 110% tto
incremental profit
“If y
you want to be successful, y
you
must get good at getting
along.” ~BJ Gallagher
Soccer and EQ
¾ It is better for goalkeepers to
stay in
i the
h goal’s
l’ center
during the kick; yet,
¾ In 93.7% of the kicks,
goalkeepers chose to jump
to the right or left.
¾ In a high-stress situation,
the most efficient decision is
INACTIVITY
Bias for Action
P R C
•Pause..before
Pause..before
reacting
•Reflect..take a
breath..what’s
b hi d the
behind
th
emotion?
•Choose..what
to say
y or do
next
General Mood – Happiness and
Optimism
Most p
people
p are about as
happy as they make up
their minds to be.
Ab h
Abraham
Li
Lincoln
l
REFRAMING
A truly happy person is one
who can enjoy the
scenery while
hil on a
detour.
Anonymous
FOCUS

40% - never occur

30% - in the past

12% - health
10% - opinions of
others

8% - legitimate
Begin each day with a grateful heart and a forgiving spirit
heart and a forgiving spirit
“The seat off
knowledge is in
the head; of
wisdom in the
wisdom,
heart. We are
sure to judge
wrong, if we do
d
not feel right.”
William Hazlitt
“Never ignore a
gut feeling, but
also
l never
believe that it’s
g
R. Heller
enough.”
EQ – The Difference Maker
“Only
Only three percent
of adults have
written goals
goals, and
everyone else
works for them
them.”
~ Brian Tracy
Tips/Suggestions for Improving
Y
Your
E
Emotional
i
l Intelligence
I lli
•
Ruiz, Don Michael. The Four Agreements.
-Be credible with your word.
-Don’t take it personally.
-Don’t make assumptions.
-Be the best you can be -- that day.
•
Know what you value – make a list.
Know what makes you happy -- write it down.
Spend time in personal reflection about your strengths and weaknesses.
Keep a “lessons log” to journal the lessons that you learned each day.
Review your “lessons log” regularly to look for patterns. If you see that
certain lessons are in your log on a regular basis, you may want to work
harder to connect these lessons to your future actions.
I a problem
In
bl
situation,
i
i
b
brainstorm
i
actions
i
that
h you could
ld take
k to capitalize
i li
on your strengths
strengths;; brainstorm actions you could take to minimize your
weaknesses..
weaknesses
•
•
•
•
•
More Tips
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
Solicit feedback from your manager, supervisor, employees and peers
about your strengths and weaknesses.
Use 360-degree ratings and other performance feedback as an opportunity
to learn more about how others view you.
Look for supporting evidence that reinforces the lessons you’ve learned.
Collect articles
articles, quotes
quotes, books or other sources of information that confirm
your lessons.
Keep visible reminders of your strengths and weaknesses so that you can
check in and adjust your behavior before taking important actions.
Observe your reaction to an unwanted change. What thoughts and feelings
are you aware of regarding your reaction to change? Flexibility
Learn to breathe correctlyy Stress Management
g
Always ask, “What impact will my action have on
others?
others?”
But where was I to start? The world is so But
where was I to start? The world is so
vast. I shall start with the country I know best my own But my country is so very
best, my own. But my country is so very large I had better start with my town. But my town, too, is large. I had best start t
t
i l
Ih db t t t
with my own street. No: my home. No: my family. Never mind, I shall start with myself.
y
Elie Weisel
Elie Weisel
EQ Quotes

“Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear
are those which never happen.”
James Russell Lowell
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them
never happened.”
Mark Twain
“T be
“To
b wronged
d iis nothing
thi unless
l
you continue
ti
tto remember
b it
it.”” C
Confucius
f i
“If you think about what you ought to do for other people, your character will
take care of itself.
Woodrow Wilson
“Little
Little said is soon amended
amended. There is always time to add a word
word, never to
withdraw one.”
Baltasar Gracian
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has
place.” George
g Bernard Shaw
taken p
“I praise in public; I blame in private.” Queen Catherine II
“The first step to wisdom is silence; the second is listening.” Unknown
“The
ea
artt o
of be
being
g wise
se is
s knowing
o
g what
at to o
overlook.”
e oo
William
a Ja
James
es
RESOURCES

Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence - Why It Can Matter More
Than IQ.
Goleman, Daniel. Working with Emotional Intelligence.
Bradberry, Travis and Lencioni, Patrick. The Emotional Intelligence
Q i k Book.
Quick
B k
Caruso, David R. and Salovey, Peter. The Emotionally Intelligent
Manager.
Lynn Adele B
Lynn,
B. The Emotional Intelligence Activity Book.
Book
Lynn, Adele B. Quick Emotional Intelligence Activities for Busy
Managers.
Fineman Stephen
Fineman,
Stephen. Understanding Emotion at Work.
Work.
George, Bill and Sims, Peter. True North: Discover Your Authentic
Leadership. Jossey
Jossey--Bass, 2007. Books24x7.
George,
g , Bill,, Andrew N. McLean,, and Nick Craig.
g Finding
g Your True
North: A Personal Guide. Jossey
Jossey--Bass. © 2008. Books24x7.