The Mandala, Vol. 3 - Iowa Association of Alternative Education
Transcription
The Mandala, Vol. 3 - Iowa Association of Alternative Education
The Mandala The Mandala Vol. 3 Editor Dawn Shattuck Brown Published and Sponsored by the North East Iowa Alternative Teachers And the Iowa Association of Alternative Education © 2005 Editorial Board Don Betts Jean Klunder Julie Norby Jon Stull 2 3 Introduction What is a mandala? “Mandala” is the Sanskrit word for “sacred circle.” The Tibetan word for “mandala” means “center of the universe in which a fully awakened being abides.” Circles are universally associated with meditation, healing, and prayer. Mandalas have been used for thousands of years in Native American, Hindu, and Buddhist practices to express wholeness, unity, the womb, completion, and eternity. Mandalas are geometrical art forms that represent the forces of the world, intricate symbols drawn within geometric shapes of different colors to form a perfect circle. People through the ages have used these metaphysical maps to explore their places in the universe. Mandalas can be used as tools for psychological insight, objects of meditation, and forms of artistic expression. Like the mandalas, may the original art herein collected be an expression of exploration of the forces that have shaped the lives of the authors. 4 About the Cover This design is a symbol meaning, “Never give up.” When you think you can’t do it, just keep on trying and give it all you’ve got. Then, sooner or later, you might get it; that’s because you kept on trying and never gave up. Marshall Keune Rockefeller High School Northeast Iowa Community College Calmar 5 Table of Contents Introduction 3 About the Cover Marshall Keune 4 Rockefeller High School Northeast Iowa Community College Calmar You Think You Know Me Krystle Polson 13 Cass County Independent Learning Center Iowa Western Community College Atlantic I Am, I Can, I Will Patrick Kellenberger 14 Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport I Am Lucia Espinosa 16 Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport Through the Looking Glass Coletta Meyer 17 Rockefeller High School Northeast Iowa Community College Calmar Me Abby Moeller 18 WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant Me—Earl Earl Griffin 19 WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant Losing My Neverland Talia Yaron 20 WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant 6 Untitled Zach Carver 21 WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant My Baby on the Way Shyetta Tate 22 Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport Hailie’s Poem Tabatha Howard 23 Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport Intimate Conversation Alex Trejo 24 WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant Untitled Barbara Schultz 25 Walnut Creek Campus Des Moines I’m Sorry Kala Holtkamp 26 WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant Mom, I Love You Jessica Reed 27 Gordon Willard Alternative Education Center Ft. Dodge My Sister Kristen Kahler 28 Kanesville High School Council Bluffs To My Uncle Bill Natalie Neavin 29 Gordon Willard Alternative Education Center Fort Dodge 7 Artwork Jazz Baldwin 30 Education Options Program New Hampton Shooting Star Jazz Baldwin 31 Education Options Program New Hampton Intimate Conversation Dedicated to Michael Hoadley 32 Alexis Lunsford WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant Good vs. Evil Chase Greenfield 33 Gordon Willard Alternative Education Center Ft. Dodge Smack Impact Amanda Gladden 34 Kanesville High School Council Bluffs Melting Stephanie Mendenhall 36 Walnut Creek Campus West Des Moines Blessed By You Michelle Pralle 37 Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport Fate Cayla Babcock 38 New Directions Sigourney Always Take Audra Stowe 39 Oelwein Alternative High School Oelwein 8 The Unknowing Self Chance E. Thomas 40 Kanesville High School Council Bluffs Forbidden Pt. 1 Steven Piere 41 New Directions Sigourney Colors Rachel Goldnapp 42 Westside Central Alternative High School Council Bluffs Untitled April McKenzy 43 Green Belt High School Iowa Falls Artwork Krystle Polson 44 Cass County Independent Learning Center Iowa Western Community College Atlantic Forget You Megan Paulson 45 Basics and Beyond Alternative High School Newton Untitled Erin Dodson 46 Walnut Creek Campus West Des Moines As You See, Love is Love Ashley Bigham and Coletta Meyer 47 Rockefeller High School Northeast Iowa Community College Calmar My Surroundings Trinity Higgins 48 New Directions Sigourney 9 Goodbye Myles Warrior 49 Laker Alternative High School Estherville Artwork Gavin Gross 50 Nevada Learning Center Nevada The Best Day Ever Cody Smith 51 WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant Tears Jenny Muilenburg 52 Walnut Creek Campus West Des Moines The Awakening Freedom Treva Tyler 53 EXPO High School Waterloo Editorial on Current Television Jessica Sanchez 57 Gordon Willard Alternative Education Center Fort Dodge How I Got Where I Am Today Samantha Reese 58 New Horizons Alternative High School Garner Autobiographical Incident Kelsey Haskins 60 Kanesville High School Council Bluffs Gift of Quotes Tina Chambers 61 New Horizons Alternative High School Garner 10 A Major Change Ashley Cooklin 62 Laker Alternative High School Estherville Skipping Class Courtney Reimolds 64 Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport All About Ahbreonna Alana Deters 65 Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport Samuel Timothy McGraw: Hero Rachel DuCLos 66 New Horizons Alternative High School Garner Call for Submissions 68 11 Poetry 12 13 You Think You Know Me Krystle Polson Cass County Independent Learning Center Iowa Western Community College Atlantic You think you know me? I am not who you think I am. You think you know me? I am not who I say I am. You think you know me? What you know is false. You think you know me? You couldn’t even sense my pulse. You think you know me? My mind is deeper than the ocean. However, you think you know me; so you cast away in one motion. You are so close, no matter how far. Yet, you couldn’t be much farther from the heart. I have never opened myself this way. And all these words I just never say. You think you know me? You don’t. And even if you wanted to, I may let you, or maybe I won’t. With words and actions, you stab and injure. When asked how I’m feeling, I just perjure. The damage you’ve done is hard to repair. As if any of you care. You think I’m sometimes mean and rude to you. I say that the fault falls on you. You hate, dislike, and mistreat me. I do, in turn, two times as deeply. You are good; I can see it in your eyes. Yet, when you look at me, those become lies. Today is not good. Nor is tomorrow. To make it better, you must get rid of sorrow. You think you know me? You don’t. And you never will. 14 I Am, I Can, I Will Patrick Kellenberger Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport I am: two small words, and yet It’s a powerful place in which to be. It’s my life and I’m living it. I am everything you see. I am responsible for my action And all the things I say and do. I am responsible for my behavior And how I interact with you. I am responsible for my level of work And the choices that I make. I am responsible for the values I profess And for the way I communicate. I can: two small words, and yet It’s a powerful place in which to be. It’s my life and I’m living it, Traveling the land, sky, and sea. I can earn the respect of others And gain their friendship true. I can honor all things and take Care of my mind, health, and body, too. I can do my best each day And I can know my best is great. I can continue to progress And move closer to my fate. 15 I will: two small words, and yet It’s a powerful “place” in which to be. It’s my life and I’m living it. I will be everything, just wait and see. I will use my talent wisely, Learn to manage the moods of life. I respect my ups and downs And ask for help in overcoming strife. No longer a child, yet not an adult, I am a teenager still, But don’t underestimate my value, Because I am, I can, and I will. 16 I Am Lucia Espinosa Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport I am a kind girl who loves to have fun. I wonder what my future will be like. I hear their voices in back of me. I see their eyes watching me. I want to be free. I am a kind girl who loves to have fun. I pretend to fly away from here. I feel love and pain. I touch his soft brown skin. I worry about what he might think of me. I cry for him. I am a kind girl who loves to have fun. I understand life is not always happiness. I say, “I’m tired of all this crap!” I dream of being an independent woman. I try to be the best older sister. I hope someday they can be proud of me. I am a kind girl who loves to have fun. 17 Through the Looking Glass Coletta Meyer Rockefeller High School Northeast Iowa Community College Calmar 18 Me Abby Moeller WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant I am crazy, But sure am lazy. Live in the trailer park But ain’t no narc. I am fat, Ain’t scared to use a bat. My cat is “Little Baby.” Loving her’s no maybe. She makes my life complete With her hairy little feet. 19 Me—Earl Earl Griffin WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Earl. Introducing me to you. My hobby is shopping. I like basketball. New is to old As old is to new. Chicago is old. Mt. Pleasant is new. Been here six months. Like it so far, But there’s nothing to do, Unless you have a car. Walk in order To get around And see new things In this little town. Used to cats and dogs Running wild about, Now rabbits and deer Go jumping out. I can get used to this, But it will take time. Will make the best of it, ‘cause I’ve made up my mind. 20 Losing My Neverland Talia Yaron WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant Fly high, Peter. Reach to that second star to the right. Save your youth, Peter. It’s too late for me. I’m growing up now, Peter. I’ll always remember you, Peter. Remember me. I’ll always miss you, Peter. Take care of my kids. 21 Untitled Zach Carver WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant Get a call; She is in labor. Hope everything is in my favor. Holding my daughter, Knowing my choices, My responsibilities, Time to change my life around Because I can. And I am growing strong. No more hitting the bong. My daughter’s life and mine Worth too much to lose. I have a family now. That’s what I choose. 22 My Baby on the Way Shyetta Tate Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport S is for the sneaky way she will have. K is for the knowledge she will have. I is for her intriguing way of thinking. O is for how open-minded she will be. N is for how noticeable she will make herself. N is for her nonchalant way of doing things. I is for the innocent looks she will give you when she knows She was wrong. A is for the awkward feeling of being a mother. 23 Hailie’s Poem Tabatha Howard Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport Her beautiful eyes, Even through her deep cries. When I gaze into them, Sometimes I think of him. Baby girl, I’m sorry he’s not around. He really needs to get his feet on the ground. Maybe one day he’ll come back And actually know how to act. If not, Mommy will be there for you, To get you through anything you need me to. 24 Intimate Conversation Alex Trejo WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant Remember when I was growing up? Of course you don’t; you weren’t around. You left mom to do everything you were supposed to. You missed out on my whole life. When I was 14, you got me that bass. Yeah, the brown one. Then I started playing the guitar. Remember how bad I was? Now your friends say I’m better than you. Don’t you wish you could have seen me progress through the years? I wish you would stay away from us now. You bring out the worst in my family and me. It’s too late to get us back. 25 Untitled Barbara Schultz Walnut Creek Campus Des Moines We don’t get around much anymore. The plates sit by the sink Encrusted with moldy macaroni from months ago. A layer of film and crud as thick as ice Lies on the kitchen tile in neglect. We don’t get around much anymore. Mamma lies on the mattress that sits on the floor, Her body intertwined with tubes Filling her frail body with what she needs to live… Or rather, lie there lifeless. We don’t get around much anymore. Dreams of my life Shattered by the mistakes of hers. Her breath sounds like the wind picking up before a storm, Tainted with the phlegm and mucus that inhabits her lungs. We don’t get around much anymore. Last Halloween I carved those orange pumpkins, Ripping away their insides, Wishing it to be her. Their faces snarled at me, Just like her. I kept carving, though, and hollowed them, Leaving only an empty shell, Just like her. We don’t get around much anymore. And those empty shells sit on my porch, Still snarling, Still, like Mamma. And now they’re rotting away. 26 I’m Sorry Kala Holtkamp WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant Dear Mother, I’m so sorry. I’ve made a mistake. You know the crowd You warned me about? You told me, “They’re no good; They’ll just bring you down.” But I didn’t listen. It seemed so tempting, so fun. And fun it was. Driving around at all hours of the night With no one to answer to, And staying with boys. Oh, the boys. They were so rowdy and entertaining. Please forgive me And my absence of judgment. Let me be your angel Once again. I will not disappoint you. This I promise. 27 Mom, I Love You Jessica Reed Gordon Willard Alternative Education Center Ft. Dodge Hello, Cindy. Thank you for being there. Your love is like candy. With you I have no fear. I know you weren’t able to take care of me, But you gave me all you can— A better life for me, I now see. I am your biggest fan. No matter what I call you, You’re the world’s number one mother. A relationship like ours—–there are so few. It’s okay that you are not sure of my father. Even though it is hard for me to do, I will always be there for you. 28 My Sister Kristen Kahler Kanesville High School Council Bluffs Starting high school, ninth grade, All alone and by herself. Little girl, now a woman, A strange man standing next to her. Now eighteen years old, With this man four years. No more man standing by her, He is now in the army. Two years later, By her side again. Now he has taken her hand, In marriage for life. Now living on their own in Virginia, They are living their dream lives. With their dream jobs, Their dreams came true. Bur for most who try, they Fail and never achieve. They love each other forever, Even in eternity. 29 To My Uncle Bill Natalie Neavin Gordon Willard Alternative Education Center Fort Dodge Life’s a funny thing, you know. Sometimes it comes, and Sometimes it goes. Sometimes it’s calm, and Sometimes it flows. Sometimes it’s hard, and Sometimes it grows. But when life goes, It’s hard not to show all the pain that flows. They say in time it will get better. But as long as we remember And keep a smile on our face And yours in our hearts, We’ll remember how happy you were from the start. Life’s a funny thing, you know. Sometimes it comes, and Sometimes it goes. I love you, Uncle Bill. 30 Jazz Baldwin Education Options Program New Hampton 31 Shooting Star Jazz Baldwin Education Options Program New Hampton Shooting through the sky, Sending a glimpse of brightness For only a brief second, As the other stars seem dull. When it appears for that moment The joy it brings into life And the awe from watching eyes, That feeling is never replaced; And it is seldom repeated. Remembered by many, Always wished and prayed upon, The star soon disappears, Leaving without a trace. This star is like you, Though I know where you are. You joyfully entered my life, Left unspeakable memories, And then you disappeared. You then appeared again, Shining light on my life, And left as quickly as you came. I will always remember you. You will always be there, But only as my shooting star. 32 Intimate Conversation Dedicated to Michael Hoadley Alexis Lunsford WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant These things I wish I could have said. Now you’re gone, And it’s too late. These things I have to say Will be put upon your grave. You were a good friend to everyone. Everyone is missing you. We don’t understand why you did it. Nobody is blaming you, Wishing we could take back The last words we said To prevent this from happening. Everyone loved you. Don’t forget me, Because nobody will ever forget you. 33 Good vs. Evil Chase Greenfield Gordon Willard Alternative Education Center Ft. Dodge Life is eternal; Love is immortal; Death is only a horizon; A horizon is nothing, Save the limit of our sight. 34 Smack Impact Amanda Gladden Kanesville High School Council Bluffs Sam was eight years old when his mom started crack. She said she was having lots of stress, So her happiness counted on the smack. She started out once every few days, But after a while, she smoked so much Everything around her would turn into a haze. Sam needed new clothes; He begged and begged and begged. The problem was, all their money went up her nose. He was forced to go to school with holes in his clothes. Everyone would laugh at him, “Sam is poor; Sam is poor!” One day he got into a fight, Because someone called his mom a whore. She promised she would quit. She cried with Sam one day, saying she was so sorry. She told him she would make it up to him today. He waited for her two hours after school; He was going to believe her this time. She is really going to quit this time! No more counting up their dimes. She never showed up and it got really late. Sam decided to walk the two miles home Through thunder and pouring rain. He got very angry. “I should have known,” He shouted, feeling the pain of being let down again. Once he got home, the house was empty. He couldn’t find his mom, so he went to bed very cold. But he didn’t sleep for long. His mom ran into the room and pulled him out of bed. She was acting really crazy. Her eyes were really red. “What, mom, what did I do?” he cried. She smacked him across the face. “You spent my last five bucks,” she screamed. She swung at him, but he ducked. 35 “Mom, I needed to eat,” Sam told her. “I haven’t eaten in days. Don’t you care?” “Hell, no, I don’t care. You’re nothing to me!” She started to pull out her hair. “I don’t have any money for my happy powder,” She screamed in his face. She pinched him hard in the arm. “All I need is a little taste!” After a while she passed out on the floor. Two hours later she still was not awake, But Sam didn’t even care. All he could do was stare At the person that was supposed to love him, Care for him, and shelter him from the bad. He was fifteen years old now. He’s never felt so mad. He packed up his stuff and left the house, Not knowing where to go. He ended up at a park. It was just getting dark; He never felt so alone. Twenty minutes later he felt a hand Pat him on the shoulder. He turned around, and there was his mom, Holding out a bright yellow folder. “What is this?” he asked her and took it. It’s your biological father’s address; Go live with him; you don’t love me anymore.” “Mom, that’s not true. You just need to lay off the coke for a while.” “Sam, I just got admitted into a rehab,” she said. He could not resist a smile. “I’m so sorry, Sam, for what I’ve put you through. I’m gonna try day by day, But all I can say is that crack and me are through. I’ve realized I’ve hurt you so bad. I don’t want to make you angry anymore; I never want to see you sad.” They walked home talking and laughing, Like they were old friends. Sam’s mom went down the wrong road once, And she never went down it again. 36 Melting Stephanie Mendenhall Walnut Creek Campus West Des Moines They are melting away, Wasting their time on nothing. Reality has hit them That people will come and go As if they are on a train That keeps going— No stops, No whistle, Only the sound of the rumbling tracks. Faces Full of disappointment Wanting to slow down, But life just won’t let them. Problems are only what will occur— No way to put it on pause, Only fast forward. Everyone is just melting away, Because they just won’t stop And enjoy life. 37 Blessed By You Michelle Pralle Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport You put your hand out and touched My heart. I gave you my hand to fill the Part. God gave us something, Something we can’t take back. With this relationship, love We don’t lack. So after all this, I must tell you A lucky girl like me to be Blessed by you. 38 Fate Cayla Babcock New Directions Sigourney You try to create what you want me to be. This is me. You think that I am weak; make me mad and you’ll see how strong I am. I’ll cut you open and crawl inside to make you feel the pain that I feel. You try to keep me down with all your torment. I will have my revenge on you. It’s just a matter of time. You have no idea what goes on inside my mind. Who are you to judge what is right or wrong? You think you belong. In my world, you don’t even exist. It’s too late to resist. I’ve gone too far. If you don’t want to meet this fate...oh, what am I saying, it’s already too late. 39 Always Take Audra Stowe Oelwein Alternative High School Oelwein My life does not lie in cards. I will decide in my own heart. All I have done is fall apart. When did all of this start? How much longer will it last? It’s all going way too fast. It never gives; it always takes. Everyone else is so fake. All I have been feeling is ache. From this nightmare, when will I wake? No matter where I go, I remain lost, Trying to find out what it will cost. I’ve always heard, “Stay strong and hang on.” But I can’t hang on; I need to be away and gone Until this is over and done. It never gives; it always takes. Everyone else is so fake. All I have been feeling is ache. From this nightmare, when will I wake? 40 The Unknowing Self Chance E. Thomas Kanesville High School Council Bluffs Can I change my destiny, Or will it get the best of me? Can I break the fatal course And beat this pressure at the source? The life I live is not by choice, But who cares, I’ll speak my voice. Controlled by fate we wait our turn. I promise when fate comes, I will stand stern. For whatever comes by angels, be burned. 41 Forbidden Pt. 1 Steven Piere New Directions Sigourney Bones broken, tears shattered and torn. Somewhere a lost child has been born. The violent rage she hides beneath her skin. The pain is gone, and she has fear within. Won’t you feel beneath her face? Misbelieving, in her pace, Molded memories and stories she hasn’t told. Waiting to walk along the paths that unfold, She vomits in the sickness, but she doesn’t feel right, Losing all feeling and her nerves of sight. Peeling back the days she wanted to cry, Waiting and watching, as the world goes by. Her forbidden love stands waiting in the darkness, Holding his arms out, wanting nothing more or nothing less. Walking backwards, she never seems to move at all. She sees him standing at the end of the long hall. Her eyes start to water; she’s about to end it all. Her lips begin to quiver for the new days of fall. Her unforgotten love holds her, staring in her eyes. She now has her forbidden love and the end of all the lies. Her family tries to tear them apart. Is it the end or the beginning of the start? Moments gone by but fade to memories All the things to hide, wanting her to see. She stands above the broken river with the shattered glass, Understanding everything her dreams have finally past. Leaning in for the moment of never-ending bliss, It lasted for just a moment, her forbidden love’s last kiss. Love is just religion; it’s never in the past. Your forbidden love’s love will forever last. 42 Colors Rachel Goldnapp Westside Central Alternative High School Council Bluffs No matter what you or I say, People are separated by colors each day. Not by the color of hair, skin, or eye, But by simply the color of their shirt dye. Here is a story of two girls that tried to stay true And not be separated by the colors of red and blue. They grew up together in the same neighborhood. Though their lives were not perfect, they were pretty good. It was a neighborhood of guns and gang fights, One where it was hard to sleep on some nights. They were content as long as they were together; They vowed to be best friends forever. As they grew up, they had to fight to stay alive; They knew just what they had to do to survive. They knew what was coming but didn’t want it to; They had to pick between the colors of red and blue. If it was only that simple, pick one or the other, But this was like choosing your best friend or your brother. They had to choose the road they would take; It had to be best for their families’ sake. They each chose to go on their separate ways; Now that was the end of their childhood days. Their “brothers” trained them to live in the streets, To live being feared and having no defeats. Their “families” decided to make them show they were down; There would be a fight on the south side of town. They got prepped and pumped up to fight; When they saw each other, they knew it wasn’t right. But each girl knew that she had to and pulled out a knife And died while taking the other one’s life. 43 Untitled April McKenzy Green Belt High School Iowa Falls Just a memory lost— I do not remember. Love of another I do not know. Long ago I knew you. Where are you now? 44 Krystle Polson Cass County Independent Learning Center Iowa Western Community College Atlantic 45 Forget You Megan Paulson Basics and Beyond Alternative High School Newton Do you ever wake up at night, afraid to fall asleep? Have you ever thought to yourself, am I really in too deep? Sometimes I think you’re right; often I think I’m wrong. But little did I know, you tricked me all along. Yesterday was the day I allowed my heart to die; Today is the day I must tell you good-bye. I’m moving on, I can hardly wait, Starting off on a clean slate. Shattered dreams become reality. Who’d have known I’d lose my sanity? Forgetting you, one step at a time, Forgetting you, I’ll be fine. You had my heart, you had no clue. But now you’ve lost, so forget you! 46 Untitled Erin Dodson Walnut Creek Campus West Des Moines So many pieces of twine Twisted, Bound together at the ends— Each piece of thread representing A feeling, A problem, A scar. Our “love” twisted just like the rope, Each confrontation, emotion Spun around to completion. The ends burnt to hold together The flames on my heart— Heartbreak holds us together. The rope is complete, As is our “love.” Mixed feelings and pain All held together By once ignited ends. 47 As You See, Love is Love Ashley Bigham and Coletta Meyer Rockefeller High School Northeast Iowa Community College Calmar Love is great, especially if it’s fate. It also causes a great deal of hate. Love is sometimes pain, which makes you go insane. As you see, love is love. Love is trust but sometimes turns to dust It is also incredible, always unforgettable. Love is love; it’s sent from up above, carried by the wings of a dove. As you see, love is love. I see love when I look into your eyes; that’s when I know there will be no demise. With the love I have for you, I’ll make your dreams come true. I see love as amazing but also so crazy. As you see, love is love. I see love as a thousand words, even in different languages around the worlds. When the worlds collapse, I’ll be there. Love isn’t always fair. I see love as if it’s blue, but with you, it’s always true. As you see, love is love, not just a trivial lust. 48 My Surroundings Trinity Higgins New Directions Sigourney As I stand here, I peer around me and look at my surroundings. In front of me there is a sun setting in the horizon. There is an endless field of prairie flowers, which glow bright from the stretching rays of the dying sun. When I turn around there is a dark lush forest of all types of cool, dark colors. I walk towards the forest, which hypnotizes me with wonder and adventure. As I walk, I hear the crashing sound of water. I follow the sound to find a strong mist upon my face. I close my eyes and enjoy the moist breeze. My eyes open to a scenery that is magical. Water falls down a cliff of stone, which is embedded with plants and flowers. As the water falls, it crashes, making a rainbow with light colors. The sun keeps falling and a light fog stretches out from the water with reaching hands into the dark forest. All this seems to be no threat to me, just a wonderful and unforgettable scenery. As I look down the river, it calms down and becomes placid. I see a family of deer drinking, not disturbing any of the wonders around me. I slowly turn to head for the prairie to see the last glimpse of the sunset. I walk through the field of flowers and find a stone to sit on to see the last ounce of light. Colors such as orange, yellow, magenta, purple, and pink overload the sky. As the light gets faint, I hear the sound of a voice, which is soft and light and starts to get louder. “Trinity, Trinity, wake up. There’s no sleeping in my classroom,” says Mrs. White. “I’m sorry,” I reply. “It will not happen again.” Yet, I still remember my dream. 49 Goodbye Myles Warrior Laker Alternative High School Estherville The sun peeked through the clouds as it descended into the horizon. As I watched it disappear, the only thought I had was this had all brought an awesome feeling of power. As I grabbed your hand, the sun cut through the clouds like lips touching cotton candy. The amazing glow shined so deeply that it warmed my entire soul. I could only wish that the warmth would last forever. I felt so helpless as the glowing, illuminated ball quietly slipped into a silent grave. Below, the grass pulled us to new levels, as the chirped songs of crickets and sounds of leaves kissing one another magnified the moment. I glanced upward at the multicolored rays of pinks, yellows, purples, and reds. They flickered in my heart and shined in your eyes. The wind blew soft and sweet as it maneuvered through the branches of the spruces, evergreens and maples. High above, the clouds dissembled as they lost the battle against the newly arriving night sky. I looked over my shoulder in one feeble attempt to say my last goodbye. 50 Gavin Gross Nevada Learning Center Nevada 51 The Best Day Ever Cody Smith WisdomQuest Education Center Mt. Pleasant In this dream, I’m a success, Living in Hawaii with the best. In this dream, I’m a success, My beautiful wife and two kids. In this dream, I’m a success, A house on the beach. In this dream, I’m a success, The shining sun setting at sea. In this dream, I’m a success, Kids playing in the pool. In this dream, I’m a success, Looking in my wife’s eyes. In this dream, I’m a success, Seeing the smile on her face. In this dream, I’m a success. She agrees this is the best day ever. 52 Tears Jenny Muilenburg Walnut Creek Campus West Des Moines Tears. Warm at first, Slowly sliding down your frowning face. Running in every little unique crevice, Eventually reaching your lips, Salty to the taste, Some making it to your chin. Now they feel as your heart does. Cold. 53 The Awakening Freedom Treva Tyler EXPO High School Waterloo January 1, 1863 Thought at the news of the Emancipation Proclamation The awakening eye of daylight calls a name with grace. News carries with soldiers and brings confusion to everyone’s face. Sore years of wonder erased by documents of fight. Sleepless for the day and tired for the night. Followers of the dipper, retired by freedom. Workers of the field, retired for freedom, but freedom retired to loss. Loss of knowing. Loss of hoping. Loss of growing. Maybe loss of being. Being bought; being sold; being trapped. With a fist of blood and a back of scars. Knowing where to find yours, but confused where to find ours. Talk of Emancipation Proclamation. Tears dropping from our eyes. Kissing sores; blundering away; saying our good-byes. 54 55 Narratives 56 57 Editorial on Current Television Jessica Sanchez Gordon Willard Alternative Education Center Fort Dodge Television is completely inaccurate these days. Even reality shows like “Fear Factor” and “Survivor” are fake. Who has “eat spiders” on his daily to-do list? Though it would be great, you cannot dismiss your little sister from the “island” or house, whichever you prefer. Not only does television twist everyday life into whatever will get ratings, it presents an unrealistic picture of teenagers. Anybody who remembers what being a teen was like probably won’t remember the perfect skin that looks remarkably made up all the time. They’ve probably missed the thousand-dollar wardrobe, too. Grandmothers all over the world are wondering what Pilates is and why young girls think they need to tan for their own survival. If anything is being learned from television, it is that girls all have to be less than 80 pounds and wear clothes that could barely pass as underwear. Boys are not let out of this less-than-true picture. These ill-fated guys are out working on their skateboarding skills or building up their six-pack abs. Just remember, girls who don’t have their ribs sticking out are cuddly, not fat. The anorexic look will never really be “in.” Don’t forget, just because the guy next to you is an avid Tony Hawk fan or has “guns” that would turn a professional weight lifter green with envy, doesn’t mean that is who you are. Be whatever makes you happy; be yourself. 58 How I Got Where I Am Today Samantha Reese New Horizons Alternative High School Garner The beginning of my sophomore year I started to hate school. I did not like all the little groups people had and how they judged everyone. I started skipping a few days out of the week, and then I stopped going altogether. That was my biggest mistake. I loved it at the time, not going to school. I was hanging out with friends, having fun, and not having to be anywhere at a certain time. Then my mom told me I had to go to the alternative school or I was being sent away until I was 18. Therefore, I began schooling there. That school was awesome. You could leave whenever, go outside for breaks whenever, listen to music, and work completely on your own. Well, I guess I though it was awesome because I was not doing anything the days that I went. I did earn a few credits while in that school, but then the same thing happened as with the regular school—I just stopped going. This put me even farther behind in credits. Over the rest of the school year and summer, I went to live with my dad in Washington. I had a lot of fun there with him. Before I knew it, he said school was starting soon. My dad was sent to Iraq, so I had to go back to live in Iowa. When I got to Iowa, I was shocked to learn that I was going to be living with my grandparents. It has started not being all that bad, but then my grandma wanted me to stay away from all my friends. That is when things started to go downhill. The new school told her I was so far behind in credits that I was in enrolled in New Horizons Alternative School. 59 I was not looking forward to attending, but I remembered the first alternative school, so I thought I could handle it. Well, to my surprise, this school has a lot more rules than the one I was used to. I do know that it is best for me to continue with this school and I know that this is my last resort before my family gives up and sends me away. Therefore, I am going to have to suck it up and do my best. 60 Autobiographical Incident Kelsey Haskins Kanesville High School Council Bluffs Almost five years ago, when I was twelve years old, my mom gave birth to a third child—a little baby girl named Shae. I remember when I was first told that my mom was pregnant. I can remember exactly what I was doing (eating Burger King and watching The Lion King) and my exact feelings—excitement, anticipation, and joy. Little did I know just how much Shae would change my life. At the time I found out my mom was pregnant with Shae, I was a little worried. Worried, because the age gap between us was a big one. I wondered if I would ever be as close to Shae as I was to my big sister. Shae was born January 25, 2000, almost three months after I had just turned twelve. I still vividly remember that crazy night. I was up late, despite having school the next morning, and found myself laying in bed unable to sleep. As I lay there, I heard my mom going into the bathroom and then exclaiming loudly, “My water broke!” Therefore, we all went to Mercy Hospital that night and waited for many hours, running on hardly any sleep. My little sister decided to make her debut shortly after 8:00 a.m. Since the day Shae was born, I have been a different person. I try harder now to be a good role model for her and to always be there for her, no matter what. Having my little sister has also made me realize how much I love working with kids; I may even want to incorporate that into a future career. I owe a lot to my baby sister for helping me learn more about myself each day. 61 Gift of Quotes Tina Chambers New Horizons Alternative High School Garner “Be glad of life, because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.” Henry Van Dyke Two years ago I did not think I was as fortunate as I know I am today. I looked at life in a completely different perspective. I did not believe people loved me. Worst of all, I did not love myself. I thought everyone wanted me to be someone I was not. Work was something I was forced to do. Lying in bed all day was my dream. Play was something little kids did, and something I could not do myself because I pitied myself. This quote only proves how blessed I am. I can love and I am loved. I have family and friends who care deeply about me. I have the ability to work. Other people have to go through life with disabilities, whether physical or mental. I can play. I make time to hang out with my sisters and my friends. Laughter is one of the best medicines in life. I am truly grateful that I can laugh with others. To look at the stars and enjoy them is a gift. To be able to enjoy each and every speck in the sky is wonderful. I can now look up and be proud of what I have accomplished and pray for tomorrow to come. When tomorrow comes, I wake up with a smile on my face, because I am blessed with another day of life. 62 A Major Change Ashley Cooklin Laker Alternative High School Estherville Switching from the traditional high school to the alternative high school was a positive, life-changing experience for me. I have learned so many things from it. Before coming to the alternative school, I didn’t care about school. Unconcerned about my future, I hated school. There seemed no reason to go. To me, the things taught would never be useful in real life. For example, one biology activity was to dissect a frog and identify what’s inside. Why would I need to learn that? Biology was the worst class for me. I didn’t learn anything. The only time we got direct instruction from the teacher was when we did a lab activity. Otherwise, we had to read each chapter, make an outline, and then take the test. That routine got boring and my test grades were rotten. Therefore, I didn’t receive a good grade for the course. Most of my fellow students at the traditional high school were very judgmental. They judged on what you wore, how you looked, people you hung out with, and how you talked. I remember one day at lunch I saw a girl sitting by herself, so I went and sat by her. For the next couple of days at lunch people made fun of me, because she wasn’t “good enough” for them. Everyone seems to be assigned into a group. There are the preps, punks, losers, mixed, and subgroups among these. As for the teachers, most appeared to care little about what happened to me. I had a few teachers that helped me try to understand the class content. Others seemed to think that if you didn’t get it, then you weren’t paying attention. Some will spend one on one time with you, but most are “too busy.” 63 When I attended the traditional high school, I didn’t have future plans, except possibly to go to college. I didn’t even really care if that happened. I had no goals. Then everything changed when I came to the alternative high school. Within my first week there, I was setting daily, weekly, and long-term goals. I do my very best and work hard to achieve my goals. I have plans that are more specific. I plan on going to college or getting other necessary training to become successful in a career helping children. My next step is to narrow down my number of career choices to five or fewer. I now apply to life what I learn in school. In Personal Development, I learned how to set goals and solve problems. Whenever I have a problem with friends or family, I use the problem-solving and communication skills from that course. I finished Biology here at the alternative high school. With a chance to ask questions and to have things explained to me one on one, I got a good grade, and I actually understand the information. The students here are like a family. We all know nearly everyone’s life story, and everyone gets along with each other. The teachers are great, too. They always have time to help out. They do their best to help every student succeed. Switching schools was a great experience for me. I have learned so much more at the alternative high school than I ever did at the traditional high school. I’m so much happier, and now I care about school and my future. Best of all, I will graduate. That might even happen early. 64 Skipping Class Courtney Reimolds Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport Have you ever skipped class or even school? Did you think it was fun? Well, I thought it was fun until I was short on my credits. Ninth grade is when I started to skip. My friends and I would skip class and go to the gym or hang in the hallways. We never thought about our credits. We just thought that if we caught up on our work, we would be fine. I learned that I actually have to be in class to receive credit. I really didn’t pay any attention to my credits. I just watched my grades until I hit the tenth grade. In tenth grade I went to North. I wasn’t there for even a month. Three weeks into school I got into a fight. I was suspended for ten days. I never went back to school after my suspension because I learned I was two months pregnant. I missed a whole quarter of school and then some. That’s when I came to TAPP. I came to school up until I had my baby in April, which was a big mistake. That was another quarter I missed. I wanted to stay home with my baby, which isn’t a bad thing. I should’ve been worried about my credits, because I need to graduate. When I came to register this year, I found out that I’m still a sophomore. I’m about three credits away from being a junior. That’s when I realized I have to be in school every day. Skipping isn’t as relaxing as I thought it would be. Now, as a parent, I’ve matured. I don’t skip school anymore. Now I am going to have to take extra classes just to graduate on time. Skipping definitely affected my grades and my credits. 65 All About Ahbreonna Alana Deters Kimberly Center for Alternative Education Davenport I am about to tell you about my most important possession in my life. It’s my baby; and when you’re done reading this, you will think you know her personally. My daughter’s name is Ahbreonna Christine White. She was born April 24, 2003; that makes her nineteen months old now. When she was born, she weighed in at seven pounds, one ounce. That’s pretty light, but now she is a big thirty-two pounds, four ounces. She’s a lot taller, too. She was only nineteen inches at birth, but now she is two feet, six inches from head to toe. Ahbreonna is the most beautiful baby ever. I can’t believe God gave me such a gift. She has very curly blond hair; it is about down to the bottom of her shoulder blade. When they look at her, the first thing most people say is how beautiful her big blue eyes are. Her fat cheeks always stay rosy. She’s not really fat but has a big pot belly. Her little bowed legs go a mile a minute. She has the most precious little hands and feet. She learns something new everyday. She never fails to amaze me with the things she does and says. Her favorite word is Ma. She’ll drive you crazy, running around yelling Ma at the top of her lungs. She goes to daycare, and it is helping her with speech and vocabulary. Now that you have learned about my pride and joy, my world, I hope you see just how special she really is. My baby, Ahbreonna Christine White, is my world. 66 Samuel Timothy McGraw: Hero Rachel DuCLos New Horizons Alternative High School Garner Samuel Timothy McGraw was born May 1, 1967, in a small Louisiana town. He was brought up in Start, Louisiana, where he was very active in sports and music. He played basketball, baseball, and football, sang in choir, and was in school plays. He was a very good student, usually passing with A’s. He was raised by his mother, Betty Trimble, and for a while, his stepfather Horace Smith, whom he believed was his father. That belief changed when he was eleven. He was going through his mother’s closet and came across his birth certificate. His father’s name was printed as “Tug McGraw,” a pro baseball player, his favorite player. Sam got in touch with Tug. They finally worked out their differences when Sam was 18 and continued to have a relationship. In 1989, Samuel decided to give up on his dream of sports and pursue a career in music. He moved to Nashville and struck a recording deal with Curb records. He released his debut album, which was a failure. That was followed by his big break, his second album, which released many hits. He had, by this time, shortened his name to Tim McGraw and was on his way to becoming a star. Through the years, he released seven more albums for a total of nine to his name. In the time frame 19892004, he not only created over 20 number one hits but also married singer Faith Hill and had three little girls. He has won many awards in his years and recently made his acting debut. In 2003, he played a role in the independent film Black Cloud, and later in 2004, he played a role in the motion picture Friday Night Lights. Since receiving so much from fans and others since his debut in 1992, Tim decided he wanted to give back to others. To do this, he decided to start a charity softball game and 67 concert in Louisiana called “Swampstock.” This charity event gives scholarships and grants to students and schools all over Louisiana. This has helped hundreds of kids from his hometown. By doing this, Tim has become a hero to many people around Louisiana. Tim once again showed his generosity in 2003 when he got the worst phone call of his life. He picked up the phone only to find out that his father had brain cancer and was given three weeks to live. When Tim heard of this news, he brought in the best doctors in the world to save his father. Tim became his father’s hero. He enabled his father to live until January 5, 2004, when Tug died at Tim’s home in Nashville. Tim has done many things in his life to help others. When you put them all together, he adds up to be one of many heroes in music. 68 Call for Submissions The Mandala is an art and literary collection of works by Iowa’s alternative high school students. Submissions of poetry (200 words or less), narratives, (300 words or less), pencil and (black) ink illustrations, 5” x 8”, or b/w photography, 5” x 7”, for Volume IV must include student name, instructor name, school name, and complete school address. Original artwork and electronic written submissions are preferred. Entries will be accepted September 1 through December 15, 2005. Additional Copies The initial press run of 200 copies of The Mandala, Vol. 3, February 2005, was distributed to contributors, their classroom instructors, and IAAE Board members. Printing was done in the Northeast Iowa Community College Print Shop, Calmar. Additional copies of The Mandala are available for $2.00 each, which includes postage. Contact: Dawn Brown, Coordinator Rockefeller High School Northeast Iowa Community College P. O. Box 400 Calmar, IA 52132 brownd@nicc.edu 800.728.2256, Ext. 342 69
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