Volume 3 Number 3 May/June 2010

Transcription

Volume 3 Number 3
May/June 2010
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2
River Pointe May/June 2010
Letter From the Editor
River Pointe
2517 Ridgeway Boulevard • Manchester, NJ 08759
Telephone 732-657-3030
The content of all articles, reviews and other news contained herein is
the product and the property of the contributors thereof. The River Pointe
Homeowners Association, Inc. assumes and acknowledges no responsibility
whatsoever for the accuracy thereof. The statements and opinions expressed
herein are those of the individual contributors hereto and they do not represent
the opinions or official pronouncements of the River Pointe Homeowners
Association, Inc.
The products and services offered herein by advertisers and others have not
been tested, sanctioned or approved and they are not otherwise promulgated
or endorsed by the River Pointe Homeowners Association, Inc., nor does
the Association warrant that they are fit for their intended purposes. The
procurers of such goods and services must determine for their own purposes
if the goods and services fulfill their personal needs, under terms and
conditions that are acceptable to them.
The River Pointe Homeowners Association, Inc. reserves the unequivocal
and unilateral right to revise, amend or reject outright any item, submission,
photo, or advertisement that it deems inappropriate for publication. Should
a prepaid advertisement be rejected pursuant hereto, the advertiser shall
be entitled to a return in full of all collected fees paid to the Association in
connection therewith, providing however that the material that precipitated
the rejection shall not have been constructed by the advertiser for the sole
purpose of negating an otherwise valid advertising contract.
All material for publication must be submitted no later than the 15th day of
any given month. Ad copy cancellations and changes must be submitted
no later than 15 days prior to publication date. It is the responsibility of the
advertiser to identify and communicate advertising errors and omissions.
Staff
Helen Bryce, Editor-in-Chief
Lucille Rielly, Contributing
Editor
Marilyn Mays, Reporter
Eileen Ebell, Columnist
Linda Fraistat, Columnist
Ralph Mondella, Columnist
Lisa Murphy, Columnist
Claire Young, Columnist
Bill Ebell, Photographer
Wayne Herrnkind, Photographer
Newsletter Guidelines
1. A
ll type-written, double-spaced copy from residents must be in
our mailbox by the 10th of each month for the next month’s
edition.
2. Please email all photos to Lucille Rielly at lurielly1@comcast.net.
3. All photos are welcome. They will be used at the discretion of the
publisher and available space.
4. Please email all articles to Helen Bryce at helenbryce@verizon.net.
5. The staff reserves the right to edit any and all articles submitted.
6. Please limit articles to no more than 200 words. Articles of
more than 200 words will be edited.
I realize that in our very first newsletter two years ago,
I promised that our articles and reports would always be
uplifting and positive, but I’m afraid I must give myself
permission to digress in just this issue. As many if not
most of you know, since we moved here, my husband
Joe has been engaged in a losing fight against 14 bouts
of congestive heart failure and other related issues.
Like me, you have watched him change from a vibrant,
fun-loving man to a mere shell of himself.
Joe lost his courageous battle on April 11th, but he lost
it on his own terms – at home in River Pointe looking
out on his pond, surrounded by his children and grandchildren, and in my arms. He even got to hear his good
buddy, “Don” Dom, tell him good-bye and that he loved
Joe. What more could any of us ask for?
Although I am probably usurping my power as Editor-in-Chief by personalizing this letter, I think it will
serve as a tribute to what “community” really means.
Approximately 80 of you attended Joe’s wake among
the almost 1000 people who did. Our sons told me, “At
one point, we thought the same people just kept coming
back through the line because it seemed that every other
person told us they were your neighbors. For the first
time, we really believed that you’d be OK, Mom.”
Joe loved living here, but more than that, he knew
that I would be safe and loved when I had to live here
without him. Your outpouring of love, concern, and
compassion makes me know that I will never be alone.
We are more than a unique community; we are truly a
family in the most important sense of the word. While
we don’t have to care about one another; we choose to.
So I guess this letter is quite uplifting and positive after
all. God bless all of you for all you have done for and
been to Joe and me.
Helen M. Bryce
P.S. Please read the article from the novel that appears
later in the newsletter. I can just hear Joe saying it.
May/June 2010
River Pointe 3
Contact Info
Manager’s Message
Administrative Office
After hours Emergency number
866-433-2978
Community Manager
Melissa Cuomo
Office: 732-657-4300 Ext 1
Fax: 732-657-4770
mcuomo@wentworthmgt.com
RIVER POINTE HOMEOWNER’S BULLETIN #1
SPRING IS HERE!
Spring is upon us at our growing River Pointe Community. And as we all come out from the warmth of
our beautiful new homes to enjoy the warming temperatures and begin outdoor activities, it seems like the
perfect time to state or restate some of the Rules, Regulations, and Guidelines that are part of maintaining our
“Community.”
This Homeowner’s Bulletin was prepared by members
of the Architectural and Grounds Committee and the
Community Manager. It was reviewed and approved
by the River Pointe HOA Board of Trustees.
If you have any questions, please contact the Community Manager Melissa Cuomo at 732- 657-4300 or
via email at.mcuomo@wentworthmgt.com
Lifestyle Director
Janine Rudd
The Clubhouse Hours of Operation
Phone: 732-657-4300
Fax: 732-657-4770
Sunday - Saturday
5:00 a.m. - 10:00 p.m.
Board Members
President - Jim Mullen
Vice-President - Ron Hankins
Customer Relations
732-657-3524
Developer Issues
Jennie Shannon
Jennie.Shannon@pulte.net
Sales Center
732-657-3030
Security Guardhouse
732-657-4356
PLANTING BEDS:
• Per Article 4.03E of the Public Offering Statement
(POS), “Owners are responsible for any planting beds
directly adjacent to their homes on their lots.”
• The planting of ANNUALS (flowers) in the planting
beds adjacent to your homes only, does not require
Board approval, but Homeowners are reminded that
any ANNUALS planted must be watered and cared
for to maintain their appearance.
• The planting of anything other than annuals, e.g.shrubs,
trees,etc., is prohibited without prior approval of the
ADVERTISING POLICY
The Newsletter Committee and the publisher of our
newsletter have arranged a special advertising discount
for residents of River Pointe. The policy is as follows:
1. R
esident business cards are to be submitted no
later than the 15th of each month.
2. The initial submission will be free of charge for
the first month.
3. Thereafter, the fee will be $50.00 for six months.
4. Upon submission, please make check payable to R
& K Publishing.
The River Pointe Newsletter
is published by Senior Community Media,
a division of R&K Publishing
Phone: (732) 240-6611 • Fax: (732) 240-6618
Email: Info@seniorsourcebook.com
4
Board. Any Homeowner who plants other than annuals without prior Board approval may be required to
remove them.
• Birdfeeders and birdbaths are NOT PERMITTED.
Homeowners that have them on their property are
kindly asked to remove them.
• Artificial plants and flowers are NOT PERMITTED.
• Figurines, garden ornamentation, wrought iron hanging plants stands, planting pots, and garden stones 6”
or larger are permitted with certain limitations.
• An overall number of six (6) figurines, garden ornamentations, or planting pots are permitted.
• Figurines and ornamentation must not exceed 30
inches in height, which includes any base.
• Planting pots must not exceed a maximum height of
18 inches.
• A maximum of two (2) wrought iron hanging plant
stands is permitted in the front planting beds.
• Vegetable and fruit plants are NOT PERMITTED.
• A maximum of two (2) wrought iron hanging plant
stands is permitted in the rear of the home in planting
beds or immediately adjacent to the patio so as to not
interfere with lawn maintenance.
• Homeowners are not permitted to place any figurines,
ornamentation, decorative stones, benches, tables,
chairs, planter pots, or any other items on lawn areas.
• Rock gardens are NOT PERMITTED.
• When dressing or replacing mulch., dark brown or
black mulch consistent with original product is required.
GENERAL:
• All trash and recycling containers must be kept in
your garage.
• With the exception of a front door wreath or decoration. NO decoration, item, or device shall be placed
on or affixed to the exterior of homes.
• As stated in the “Public Offering Statement” (POS)
Article 9.01.M “Each Homeowner shall keep his/
her home in a good state of preservation and cleanliness.”
PETS:
• In accordance with the “Public Offering Statement”
(POS) Article 9.01.P (Pg. 38), no animal of any kind
shall be raised, bred, or kept in any home or on any
lot, except that household pets including dogs (other
than trained attack or guard dogs) and cats may be
kept in homes, provided, however, they are not kept,
bred or maintained for any commercial purposes, and
housed within the home, and the owner having such
pet abides by all applicable rules and regulations.
• No outside pens, runs, or yards shall be permitted.
(Continued on next page)
OUTSIDE STORAGE:
• Storage sheds, lockers, or boxes are NOT PERMITTED.
• Patios, driveways, planting beds, and lawn areas are
NOT PERMITTED to be used as storage areas.
• With the exception of patio furniture and grills, all
seasonal items not in use must be stored in garages.
Seasonal items are deemed as, but not limited to be,
empty planting pots, garden hose holders (after season), holiday decorations. Residents with items stored
on their property outside of garage areas are kindly
asked to store them properly or remove them from
their property.
• The storage of loose garden hoses anywhere on your
property is NOT PERMITTED. Garden hoses left
outside your garage must be in a proper container.
May/June 2010
River Pointe 5
the addition or replacement of shutters, installation of
garden hose reels and etc.
• Pet owners are reminded that your pet must be curbed
and that YOU are responsible for cleaning up after • The replacement or addition of exterior lighting is
NOT PERMITTED without Board approval.
your pet.
(Continued from previous page)
SATELLITE DISHES:
• Satellite Dishes are permitted with certain limitations:
They can be no larger than 1 meter. As long as an acceptable quality signal is possible, they must be placed
on the roof to the rear of the home with wiring/cable
adequately concealed where possible. Any damage
to Common Property or adjacent homes will be the
responsibility of the homeowner having the Satellite
Dish installed. Any questions regarding Satellite Dish
installation should be addressed with the Community
Manager prior to installation.
MODIFICATIONS:
• Homeowners are NOT PERMITTED to make ANY
modifications to the exterior of their homes or lots
without prior Board approval.
• Modifications are deemed to be, but not limited to,
patio extensions, deck or porch construction, color
changes to the doors, garage door, siding, or shutters,
GPS News
Are your visitors and delivery people
having trouble finding you because we
don’t “exist” on GPS?? Have them
put in 2517 Ridgeway Boulevard and
they’ll be led to our main entrance!
Welcome To River Pointe
We are happy to welcome the following new
homeowners who have recently closed on their homes:
Susan Greenstein
Maryann Thran
Robert and Margaret (Peggy) Lapinski
Robert and Margaret Seelogy
We all look forward to meeting you!
Ocean County Health Department
Dedicated to providing consistent quality health care in our community one home at a time.
• Skilled Registered Nurses
• Occupational Therapists
• Wound Care Specialists
• Speech Language Pathologists
• Registered Dieticians
• Certified Home Health Aides
• Pediatric Therapists
• Social Workers
• Physical Therapists
NJ State
licensed
6
732-341-9700 ext. 7300
www.ochd.org
Medicare & Medicaid
certified
River Pointe Book Club
Chinese New Year
The Book Club meets the fourth Thursday of each
month at 6:30. Please note, however, that because of
the municipal meetings in Manchester which have been
scheduled for the fourth Thursday, we are temporarily
holding Book Club on the third Thursday.
April’s book selection was Open House by Elizabeth
Berg. It is the story of a woman trying to reconstruct
life for herself and her eleven-year-old son after her
husband leaves her. Her eccentric mother tries to help
by fixing her up with dates, but her more pressing problem is money. To meet her mortgage payments, Samantha decides to take in boarders. While her boarders
attempt, in their own awkward ways, to offer advice
and comfort, Samantha knows she alone must remember and reclaim the person she used to be before she
became someone else in an effort to save her marriage.
In the coming months, we will be reading Sara’s Key
by Tatiana De Rosnay, The Lace Reader by Brunonia
Barry, Julie & Romeo by Jeanne Ray, and Just Take My
Heart by Mary Higgins Clark.
Please feel free to join us at any time. If you have any
questions, you can call Lisa Murphy or Barbara Gallo.
February is an excellent month to have a celebration,
especially when winter is being exceptionally cruel.
Forty-three River Pointers took the opportunity to party
at the Retreat on Saturday, February 20th, in honor of
the Chinese New Year and to welcome in the Year of
the Tiger.
Tang Dynasty catered the excellent dinner that included General Tso’s chicken, chicken with vegetables,
beef with broccoli, pepper steak, pork with vegetables,
various rice dishes, vegetable lo mein, and boneless
spareribs. The dessert offerings were jello, ice cream,
and tea cakes.
A very entertaining and truly classic Charlie Chan
movie was viewed and enjoyed in all its campiness,
and Doris LaPointe emerged victorious in the game of
“pass the take-out carton.”
Introducing Janine Rudd
River Pointe would like to welcome our new Lifestyle
Director, Janine Rudd. Janine is a graduate of The Grace
Institute in New York where she studied secretarial
science. After graduating, she accepted a job at ABC
TV/Disney in New York City. She was in the Video
Sales division and supplied promotional materials to
foreign and domestic clients who were interested in
purchasing ABC owned and licensed products. Janine
lives in Toms River with her husband, Dennis, a Fire
Captain. Janine and Dennis have three children, Daniel
who is 16; Rebecca ,14; and Jenna, 12. They have
resided in Toms River for 14 years. In her spare time,
Janine is an active volunteer at St. Luke’s in Toms
River in their CCD program. When we asked Janine
what she liked most about working at River Pointe, she
mentioned how welcoming the people have been to
her since she started as a temporary back in February.
She looks forward to working with the committees and
clubs to make River Pointe a place they will continue to
love to live. Janine would like to thank all the residents
she has met already for their warm welcome and looks
forward to meeting the residents whom she has not yet
had a chance to meet. Janine is looking forward to a
bright future here at River Pointe.
(Claire Young)
May/June 2010
River Pointe 7
Searchlight
ATTENTION ALL RIVER POINTE VETERANS!
In our November/December issue, we’d like to salute
all of our veterans by printing photos of you in uniform
during your military service. In addition to the photos,
please include your name, the branch of the military,
and the years of your service. Because this photo collage will take some time to assemble, please get your
photo and information to Helen Bryce at 43 Chalfont
Ln. as soon as possible. We want to do right by you!
(Manchester Township is also asking that all World War
II veterans living in the township register with them at
1 Colonial Dr., Manchester, so that those vets will receive an invitation to the dedication of the “World War
II Veterans Memorial Park” later this year. Most of you
are too young to have served in that war, but you may
know someone who did. Registration forms are available at the front desk in the Retreat. You may also call
the Manchester Dept. of Public Works at 732-657-8121
to register.)
The organizational meeting for Bocce will be held
on Tuesday, May 11th, at 7P.M., in the ballroom. All
players who registered by April 25th will receive their
schedules and a copy of the rules. We’ll officially “roll
out” our 3rd annual Bocce Season on Tuesday, May
18th.e!
SAVE THESE DATES:
• Come and have “Coffee and…” with your friends and
neighbors on Sundays May 16th, and June 13th from
10:00AM to 11:30. The cost is $2.50 per person.
• May 31st: Memorial Day Celebration
Check the event folders in the kiosk at the Retreat
for more information. Look for upcoming e-blasts for
specific details.
From the Desk of Clark Fitness Training, LLC
Cholesterol Increases with Menopause
Women’s increased risk of heart disease post- Those risk factors demonstrated a much more steady
menopause has been fairly well documented over increase with each passing year, suggesting they were
the last decade. The medical profession has thought more tied in with age and not a hormone response
the root cause of this increase was related to
such as was observed with LDL cholesterol
the hormonal changes that take place after
and menopause. More research needs to be
menopause, the natural aging process, or
conducted in this area, especially with regard
some combination of both. The results of
to the longer-term effects of this spike in
a study recently published in the Journal of
LDL cholesterol : how does it affect the rate
the American College of Cardiology shows
of heart attacks, heart disease development,
unequivocally that the hormonal changes
and ultimately, mortality? Women should
related to menopause result in a dramatic
consult their physician on a regular basis
increase in cholesterol levels, specifically
and pay particular attention to maintaining a
LDL (bad cholesterol). This may help explain
healthy weight, not smoking, and regularly
why the incidence of heart disease rises drastically participating in exercise so that cholesterol levels will
post- menopause. As women approach menopause, remain in the healthy range. Women should participate
cholesterol levels increase; this in turn increases the in a routine of aerobic training for improvements in
risk for later heart disease. Other risk factors such blood lipid profile, along with resistance training for
as insulin and systolic blood pressure increased in reduced risk of osteoporosis. (Journal of American
the 2 year period around the final menstrual cycle. College of Cardiology, 2009)
8
Karate Club News
Claire and Jack Young have been practicing karate
here at River Pointe since the inception of the program
over two years ago. They have both attained the
rank of purple belt and are currently working toward
their brown belts. Below is an interview with them
regarding their thoughts about karate training.
What attracted you to the practice of karate?
Jack: I thought it would be a good exercise program
and very different from my normal workout.
Claire: I had been working out in the gym using
the equipment there and one day noticed Rob Rielly
practicing karate in the aerobic room. It looked as
though it would be a nice variation from my regular
routine.
Had you ever practiced a martial art in the past?
Jack: I had done some boxing years ago, but karate is
very different.
Claire: No, I had never practiced before.
Were you previously involved in other athletic
activities?
Jack: I was a runner and ran the Jersey Shore Marathon
in 1982. After I retired, I walked every day but did
little more than that.
Claire: After Jack retired, we walked at least an hour
every day, rain or shine.
How is karate different from other training you
have done?
Jack: In my opinion, karate takes more concentration
than other types of exercise.
Claire: Each karate move has to be done in a very
specific way. You have to practice the moves until you
learn the correct way and build muscle memory.
Was it difficult to start practicing karate?
Jack: To an extent, karate is a very different discipline
and requires a lot of awareness of your body.
Claire: It wasn’t physically harder than other exercise,
but you need to concentrate on every move that you
make so that it’s done as correctly as you can within
your own ability. You also use all of your muscles,
so in the beginning you can experience some muscle
tenderness, but that’s true of all types of exercising.
After a while it does get easier.
Are there any health benefits?
Jack: Karate training provides improved overall
physical well-being.
Claire: I think that since it’s a good cardio workout, it
is beneficial to my overall health.
Since you both started practicing karate after the
age of 60, are some things difficult to accomplish?
Jack: Yes, high kicks, jumps, etc., but the longer I
train, the easier it gets. And we aren’t expected to
perform at the level of younger practitioners. We do
the best we can, given our individual conditions.
Claire: In the beginning some of the moves seemed
harder, and after a workout it became obvious that
muscles were being used that hadn’t been used for
a long time. But if you keep practicing, it does get
easier. If a move is difficult, I just make adjustments
and do the best I can. Everyone in the class is over 50
so we all have our limitations. We’re not expected to
train like 20 year-olds; we all adapt our training to our
own physical limitations, if needed.
For any resident interested in joining the club, new
members are welcome at any time. There is no charge
to train, and loose clothing suitable for working out
is acceptable. Call Rob Rielly at 732-657-4908 to
express interest or to ask questions.
May/June 2010
River Pointe 9
The Clubhouse Corner
As I write this, one thing is obvious – spring is
here! Gone is the winter which came in with record
snowfalls and went out with record winds and rains.
The evidence remains in our swollen, bloated ponds
and shrubbery damaged from the weight of the snow.
Not much time has elapsed since the last article and
therefore many things that I wrote about last time have
yet to be accomplished. So before we forget, I’d like
to take this time to get you better acquainted with one
of the bright spots of this past winter, our Community
Manager, Melissa Cuomo.
Melissa is one of the first individuals many of us had the
opportunity to deal with upon moving to River Pointe,
so everyone knows her. I just figured I’d write this and
score a few brownie points. As most of you are aware,
Melissa is the Community Manager for both River
Pointe and Waters Edge. On behalf of the River Pointe
residents, she should be commended for the outstanding
job done during the highest snowfall totals EVER for
the month of February. Not only were our properties
cleared of snow in a timely manner, but the job was also
done within budget. Ms. Cuomo’s experience, roughly
15 years in the business, paid off handsomely when she
decided not to clear the common walkways and areas,
thereby saving the budget anywhere from $19,000 to
$49,000.
Some of the responsibilities associated with the
Community Manager are maintaining all common
areas including landscaping, irrigation, guardhouses
and ponds. She acts as a liaison between the residents
and the Board of Directors, guides and assists various
committees, and maintains a list of Sub-Contractors/
Vendors authorized to provide services to the Association.
As Community Manager she is also required to make
decisions concerning the adoption and enforcement of
all community rules and regulations. Once again, these
responsibilities are carried for BOTH communities
(River Pointe and Waters Edge). In light of that fact,
understand that if your complaint or question is not an
emergency, then please be patient as she may be tending
to other matters.
Melissa has asked that the following points be stressed
in this article:
10
• She needs one person to serve on the Architectural Committee (which mostly deals with the modification
on the exterior of each unit).
• She needs one person to serve on the Grounds
Committee (which deals with irrigation and
landscape issues for common grounds).
•
Complaints regarding irrigation or landscaping
MUST be in writing (NO VERBALS), so she can
track the work being done. Forms can be found in the
clubhouse. Fill them out and return them to Melissa’s
office or mailbox.
•
Please do not make ANY modifications on the
exterior of your house (e.g,.decks, shrubbery, bed
extensions, etc.) without PRIOR approval from the
Architectural Committee.
Now on to spring/ summer issues. The bocce courts
have been rolled, the wind screen for the tennis courts
will be installed, and the outdoor pool will be opened
by the end of May. All the outdoor furniture will be
cleaned and placed around the pool and the outdoor
veranda. Please have your badges updated on one of
the three days that follow: Wednesday, April 28 (10 am
– 3 pm), Saturday, May 8, and Saturday, May 22 (10am
– 3pm).
(Ralph Mondella)
Way To Go River Pointe!
River Pointe has received one of the New Jersey
Builders Association’s highest honors during the 23rd
annual Sales and Marketing (SAM) Awards Gala. Held
at the Borgata Casino and Spa in Atlantic City on April
13th, the SAM Award for Community of the Year for
an Adult Community under $300,000 was given to our
own River Pointe. Paul Schneier, president of Pulte
Homes’ Metro NY/NJ Division, expressed his pleasure
on having received this prestigious award. “It’s a
testament to the high-quality homes and unparalleled
customer service that makes River Pointe by Del Webb
such a sought-after place to live.” (Not to mention the
high-quality of the people who live in them!)
(Helen Bryce)
From September
From September, by Rosamunde Pilcher
(I can really hear Joe saying these words. HB)
Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have
only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has
happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am
I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so
fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever
we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the
old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which
you always used. Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as
we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed
together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my
name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost
of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and
unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible
accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am
out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near, just ‘round the corner. All is
well. I love you.
Wedding Anniversaries
While most (but not all) of us have already surpassed
the majority of hallmark anniversaries listed below, we
do have children, perhaps even grandchildren for those
of us who are very blessed, who will be marking these
milestones.
First Anniversary: Paper
Second:
Cotton
Third:
Leather
Fourth:
Books, fruit, flowers
Fifth:
Wood, clocks
Sixth:
Iron, candy (??)
Seventh:
Copper, brass, wool
Eighth:
Bronze, electrical appliances
Ninth:
Pottery, willow
Tenth:
Tin, aluminum
Eleventh:
Steel
Twelfth:
Silk or linen
Thirteenth:
Lace
Fourteenth:
Ivory
Fifteenth:
Crystal
Twentieth:
China
Twenty-fifth:
Silver
Thirtieth:
Pearl
Thirty-fifth:
Coral, jade
Fortieth:
Ruby
Forty-fifth:
Sapphire
Fiftieth:
Gold
Fifty-fifth:
Emerald
Sixtieth:
Diamond
Sixty-fifth:
Diamond
Seventieth:
Diamond
Seventy-fifth:
Diamond
(Some editorial comments: Notice that we have to
get beyond eleven years to get anything we might really
want? And the diamonds don’t come until after sixty
years? And if we make it anywhere beyond sixty years,
we keep getting diamonds? Who needs them then? We
needed/wanted them during our paper, cotton, leather,
electrical appliances years!!! Who made up these lists
anyway? Men???)
May/June 2010
River Pointe 11
How Does Your Garden Grow?
Container Gardening Tips
The Container:
New pots, hanging baskets, antiques/collectables, and
even leftovers from construction are among the endless
choices. The more unique the container, the more fun
you have and the more personal statement you make.
Herbs such as rosemary, oregano, mint, basil, and parsley are right at home in cinder blocks near your back
door. (And speaking of parsley, if you grow it, please
do not kill or move any beautiful caterpillars that
boast black, green, and yellow segments.*) An antique metal watering can from a flea market is charming on a stop, planted with geraniums and some trailing
ivy. Be as creative as you want; just keep in mind that
proper drainage encourages healthy plants. You may
need to drill holes in your newfound treasure container.
Another idea is to use your container to hold smaller
pots and empty out any water that collects in the bottom. If you place a plastic nursery pot inside a more
attractive container, tuck a little sphagnum moss around
the top to hide the plastic rim.
Planting:
Using regular garden soil is not a good idea. Plants in
containers need quick-draining, fluffy, light soil. When
you buy potting soil already mixed, it may come with
or without fertilizer. If not, you can add some yourself
with time release pellets. The mix should consist of
peat moss, compost, a little sand, with small amounts of
puffy white perlite or flaky vermiculite added to lighten
the soil and add drainage. Spread a layer of pebbles or
pot shards over the drain holes of the container to keep
the soil in, while letting excess water drain out. You can
also add a little bit of gel into the potting mix to help
retain moisture (be careful – not too much). Then add
the soil until the pot is ¾ full. Shake or rock the pot
gently to help settle the soil, and place the root balls of
your plants in position. Continue filling soil around the
plants until the soil reaches 1 inch from the pot rim.
Feeding Container Plants:
The roots of container plants cannot wander far and
wide in search of nutrients, so it is up to you to supply
them. Even if you start with potting soil that contains
fertilizer, those nutrients will be gone in a few weeks.
Apply liquid fertilizer full strength according to package directions, usually every 10-14 days. Some gardeners prefer to use the fertilizer at half strength but twice
12
as often. Container plants will tell when they are not
getting enough nutrients; slow growth, yellow leaves,
and poor flowering are signs. Be careful not to overdo
or your plants may develop browned leaf edges from
fertilizer burn.
Watering Strategies:
As plants increase in size, their need for water increases. A perforated watering head reduces water pressure
while providing a gentle flow that soaks into the soil
without dislodging delicate plants. But after the root
system becomes extensive, water may run over the top
of the soil and down between soil and pot. The first
remedy is to water with warm water, which soaks into
the dry soil faster than cold. Continue to water slowly
until you see moisture run out the bottom.
Pinching and Grooming:
With annual flowers, pinching or clipping off old
blossoms is crucial to prolonging their flowers. And,
when entire stems appear to have borne their last bud,
clipping them off will often force out a new flowering
stem.
When Winter Comes:
The first few autumn frosts spell the end for annuals. Empty the containers, potting soil and all. Then
give the empty pots a good scrubbing with a solution
of soapy water and household bleach and let them dry
before storing for winter. If you leave them outside,
clay pots will crack. If you do not clean them for next
year, it is possible to carry over disease. Always begin
with a clean pot.
Self-Cleaning Plants:
Flowers that shed their old, faded blossoms cleanly,
without needing to be pinched constantly, are invaluable in the container gardens. Some of these are fan
flowers, impatiens, petunia (wave) portulaca, Swan
River daisy, and wax begonia.
Combinations for Containers:
It is usually best to begin by combining only 2 or 3
varieties. With only 2 plants, pair a tall or upright plant
in the back, with a smaller one that has a mounding or
cascading growth habit in the middle. The plants shoud
agree on sun or shade.
Combining three or more plants in a container is a bit
like flower arranging. Begin with a tall, upright plant to
structure the design, add a second plant to fill out, and
a cascading plant to gently spill over the edges. Some
suggestions are: Uprights: caladium, calla lily, cannas, cosmos, salvia, snapdragon, and yucca. Fillers:
ageratum, Artemisia, begonia, browallia, coleus, dusty
miller, lantana, and verbena. Cascading Plants: candytuft, dead nettle, English ivy, licorice plant, lobelia,
petunia, sweet potato vine, and vinca.
Container Creativity:
Much of the fun in creating container bouquets is letting your imagination run wild. But on the other hand,
a few simple guidelines will help. A harmonious design
is to use plants with the same or similar colors. Or you
can go for a bold contrast, combining frosty blue flowers with fiery yellow ones. Remember that “hot” colors
appear to advance, while “cool” colors recede. So you
can place orange, red, and yellow toward the back, and
blue, purple, and green in front to balance the arrangement. Here is where gardening and art hold hands.
Care-Free Secrets:
Using neutral colors – Use plants with soft, neutral
colors, such as gray-leaved dusty miller, white-flowered
sweet alyssum, or vinca (vinca major), to tame fierycolored companions, such as red geraniums, or bright
yellow marigolds. Neutral plants also add a light-reflecting twinkle to patio containers that are intended to
be viewed in the evening.
* Butterflies undergo a change known as “complete
metamorphosis” during their four
stages of development, changing from one form to a
completely different creature by
the time they are
fully developed. These stages are the egg, caterpillar,
chrysalis, and adult butterfly. The swallowtail butterfly
will eat parsley, fennel and dill. So grow extra in case
a swallowtail mom-to-be shows up!!!
Disclaimer: While writing for this community newsletter, Eileen does not represent Rutgers Master Gardener
Program and does not imply their approval of what is
written here.
The Greening of River Pointe
This is our second offering of this column. Do you
like it? I want to hear from you with your ideas and
suggestions. You can email me at littleflowereileen@
comcast.net or leave them in the newsletter box at the
Retreat. Remember: “What we do to the earth today
may never be undone!”
Lucille Rielly and Helen Bryce write: “Don’t throw
out printer copy paper that has been used on only one
side. Rob (Rielly) gives all of his drafts to Helen, who
uses the other sides to run off newsletter research and
articles.”
Claire Young never leaves the water running when
she brushes her teeth.
Other Newsletter Staff members contribute:
• In the home: Use vinegar to clean glass; baking
soda to banish stinky smells; three percent hydrogen peroxide to kill mildew; isopropyl alcohol to
erase fingerprints from chrome and stainless steel;
salt to clean cutting boards, glass baking dishes, and
pet bowls. Reuse items such as mugs, lunch containers, and grocery bags. Use compact fluorescent light
bulbs (CFLs).
• Around the yard – Grow a green thumb!
♦ Plants clean the air, whether inside or outside.
♦ Pull weeds by hand instead of using pesticides.
(Keep your use of pesticides to a minimum. Runoff
pesticides can harm waterways like Barnegat Bay.)
♦ Plant native plants, which do not need as much
water or fertilizer as introduced species.
♦ Spread used coffee grounds over the beds of acidcraving plants such as azaleas and rhododendrons.
(My mini-roses love them, too.)
• In the car: Walter Wynkoop, M.D., of Ocean Medical Center, shares tips. According to the EPA, air
pollution causes more than 60,000 deaths from heart
and lung problems. You can help reduce those health
problems by “driving less, buying more fuel-efficient
vehicles, and supporting clean energy.”
• Accelerate slowly, get regular tune-ups, and resist
“topping off” your gas tank to avoid gasoline spillage. Slow down: driving 10mph over 60 adds 50
cents to the cost of a gallon of gas. Get pumped:
once a month, check the pressure of each of the tires
to improve your mileage by 3%. Air out: replace filters often; a new oxygen sensor can improve mileage
by 15%.
Eileen Ebell
May/June 2010
River Pointe 13
Can You Guess Who These
Lovebirds Are?
14
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
17
18
20
21
22
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
34
35
See page 30 for answers
May/June 2010
River Pointe 15
Some Things to
Ponder in 2010
Manchester: A Great
Place to Live
(Each issue this year will include 10 helpful, wonderful
hints to improve your quality of life. During May and
June, let’s ponder about improving our role in society.)
1. Call your family members often.
2. Each day, give something good to others.
3. Forgive everyone for everything.
(Well, almost everything!)
4. Spend more time with people over
70 and under 6.
5. Try to make at least three people smile every day.
6. What other people think of you is
none of your business.
7. You don’t have to win every argument;
agree to disagree.
8. Realize that life is a school, and you are
here to learn.
9. Problems are simply part of the curriculum
that appear and then fade away like algebra
class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
10.SMILE AND LAUGH MORE!!!
(Marilyn Mays)
According to New Jersey Monthly magazine,
Manchester Township ranks #70 on the list of the “100
Best Places to Live” in the state. The publication used
criteria such as community services, schools, taxes,
quality of life, and the crime rate. Manchester reportedly
offers the best senior citizen services in the state. It also
has fabulous parks and recreation programs, as well as
a stable tax base. (Somehow, the magazine failed to
mention that Manchester Township has been greatly
enriched by River Pointe!)
(Submitted by Joanne Wright)
16
Murphy’s Law
Sunshine Column
The signs of spring are everywhere. Welcome the spring
garden colors into your home to freshen, brighten, and
update. Here are some great quick tips and projects for
you to use throughout your home.
• Let in the light! Wash the windows and screens and
change your heavy drapes for lighter sheers or semisheers. Remember to clean reflective surfaces in the
house (TV screens, mirrors, appliances).
• Put away your fleece throws and blankets for the
season. Create throw pillow covers in lighter, brighter
colors and patterns. (Think flat sheets at spring white
sales as a cost effective way to coordinate the room.)
• Update bedrooms with summer linens. A bright
white duvet cover can lighten up a room and it’s less
expensive than a new comforter.
• Cut flowers from your garden and bring them indoors.
You can use traditional vases or glass pitchers, bowls or
mugs. Try to use pastel colors.
• Don’t forget spring cleaning and doing away with
clutter to help brighten the house.
• Paint is a great and inexpensive way to change the
look of your room without spending a fortune. Try
painting one wall in an accent tone, perhaps the wall
behind your sofa or headboard, or the entry foyer.
• Try updating some of your picture frames from dark
woods to shiny metals or pastels.
• Purchase or make a spring wreath to hang on your
door.
• Small pots of inexpensive annuals provide great color
and life in a room. Set them out in groups of three or
more on your windowsills.
• Don’t forget the outdoor space. Re-cover patio
cushions in bright prints or florals. Pick up inexpensive
melamine dishes in bright colors to use for outdoor
dining.
(Lisa Murphy)
Please Support
Our Advertisers!
Their support makes this
publication possible.
Lorraine and Art Ross and Phyllis and Wayne
Grossman recently returned from a trip to New Orleans
and a cruise to the Western Caribbean. Hard to agree
on the best highlight, since everything was just great:
the ship, the sight-seeing in New Orleans, and the
wonderful Creole food.
Beverly and Jerry Altomare celebrated their Fiftieth
Wedding Anniversary on March 31st. They renewed
their vows at St. Francis Roman Catholic Church in
Hoboken on Sunday, the 28th, followed by a celebration
with their family and friends at the Landmark.
Congratulations to Jennifer Butch, daughter of Jim
and Donna, who will be graduating from Seton Hall
Law School at the end of May.
Linda and Norman Fraistat celebrated 45 years of
marriage on April 4th.
Speedy recoveries and good wishes go out to
Joanne Wright and Wayne Herrnkind after their recent
surgeries.
Continued good thoughts and prayers for Norm
Fraistat, Rich Gallo, and Jerry Altomare who have all
been fighting long battles to restore good health. We
hope we will see you out and among us as soon as
possible.
Condolences, thoughts, and prayers go out to our
Editor-in-Chief Helen Bryce on the loss of her husband
Joe; Carol and Lou Pelligrino on the death of Lou’s
brother Jerry; Howie and Judy Sjursen on the passing
of Judy’s dad Sigmund Serafin; and Dolores and Dom
Mauro who recently lost their beloved sister-in-law,
Joan.
Let’s all look forward to spring, good health, and
sunshine. Remember, “It is the sweet, simple things
of life which are the real ones after all.” Laura Ingalls
Wilder
(Reported by Marilyn Mays)
May/June 2010
River Pointe 17
Origin of Marriage Customs
Many modern traditions surrounding engagements
and weddings can be traced back hundreds of years,
some even to ancient times. Some out-dated practices
resurface in symbolic form, blending the old and the
new. Five of them will be featured in this article; more
to come next year.
1. The engagement ring:
Throughout history,
rings have been used to seal sacred agreements. The
diamond is the most popular engagement stone because
of the superstition that its brightness comes from the
“sparkles of love.” The other so-called “lucky” stones
include sapphires, emeralds, and rubies. Pearls should
be avoided because they symbolize tears; likewise, opal
engagement rings should be worn only by women born
in October.
2. The wedding ring: The first wedding rings were
probably worn by the ancient Egyptians, to whom their
circular shape represented mutual love and eternity.
Placing the ring on the third finger of the left hand dates
back to the Anglo/Saxon superstition that this finger is
directly connected to the heart by the vena amoris, the
“vein of love.”
3. The wedding gown: Wedding gowns were not
always white, although as far back as ancient Rome,
white symbolized innocence and purity. Conflicting
sources state that Queen Victoria started the tradition
in 1840, but as a symbol of wealth and power, not of
virtue. Because white dresses/gowns were so difficult
to clean, a bride was unlikely to be able to wear it again.
(Many not-so-rich wives dyed their white gowns a
darker color after the wedding.) Another source cites
the Empress Eugenie of France as the one to introduce
the white wedding gown when she married Napoleon
III. But it was Coco Chanel who officially sealed white
as the preferred colors for brides when, in the 1920s,
unveiled (no pun intended) the very first short wedding
dress – in white.
4. Best Man, Groomsmen, Maid of Honor, Bridesmaids:
In primitive cultures, “marriage by capture” was
routine. Tribes who were hostile to one another would
pillage rival villages to capture a desirable woman.
The would-be “groom” (from the Old English word for
“male child”) would bring along his “best” warrior/man
to assist him in abducting his “bride” (from the Old
English word for “cook.”) [Ed.’s Note: Some things
never change!] If the tribes were on fairly good terms
18
and the bride really wanted to be “captured,” her maid
of honor and her bridesmaids helped her to escape from
her family and her tribe so that the groom she wanted
could “abduct” her.
5. The honeymoon: Now considered a happy ending
to the wedding ceremony, the word “honeymoon”
has a far less blissful origin in the Norse word
hjunottsmanathr, a throwback to the tradition of
marriage by capture. Back then, the husband/captor
had to hide his bride from her tribe. The term itself
is probably a combination of the custom of having
newlyweds drinking a daily cup of honeyed wine
(mead) for the first month of their marriage and the fact
that by the end of the bride’s moon//menstrual cycle,
she might be pregnant and her family wouldn’t want
her back.
(Well, I guess I have sufficiently de-romanticized
weddings by now. Tune in Next May/June for more!
Helen Bryce)
Jewish Wedding Customs
Jewish weddings are full of traditions and deeper
meanings. As with all weddings, the ceremony is
beautiful and filled with joy. Understanding these
deeper meanings, however, may allow the guest to be
more cognizant of the full meaning of the wedding
ceremony.
The bride wears a veil that is lowered over her face
by the groom prior to the processional. This tradition is
a throwback to Biblical times when Rebecca “took her
veil and covered herself” just before her marriage to
Isaac. There are several meanings attached to this act:
the veil signifies modesty, dignity, and chastity, as well
as the belief that the soul and character are paramount.,
that he loves her for more than her outer beauty. The
groom also sees that the woman he is about to marry
is indeed his bride and not a substitute, as when Jacob
married Leah instead of Rachel.
The procession begins with the rabbi leading. He
is then followed by the groom and his parents, the
grandparents, the attendants (who are symbolic of the
angels who “attended” the wedding of Adam and Eve),
and finally the bride and her parents.
Families stand under a canopy (chuppah) with the
bride and groom (kallah and choson) signifying that no
one lives in isolation, and that family and friends bring
strength to a marriage. The chuppah, symbolizing
G-d’s presence and protection, represents the couple’s
new home which will always be open to guests. It is
usually made of satin or velvet and is supported by
four poles
At the beginning of the ceremony, two betrothal
blessings are recited over a cup of wine which is then
sipped by the groom and bride. Rings are then exchanged
as an exchange of value. The marriage contract
(Ketubah), summarizing the groom’s responsibilities, is
read in the original Aramaic and is handed to the bride.
The ceremony then continues as seven blessings are
chanted over another glass of wine, which is again
sipped by the groom and bride.. Seven blessings are
used because that is the number of times “and when a
man takes a wife” is written in the Bible.
At the end of the ceremony a glass wrapped in a napkin
is placed on the floor. It is the groom’s task to stomp
on the glass, shattering it. This is a reminder of the
destruction of the Ancient Temple and the imperfection
of our world. It is a also a
reminder that we should all participate in Tikkun Olam,
the mending of the world. Cries of “Mazel Tov” then
ring out and the ceremony is complete.
(By Linda Fraistat)
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May/June 2010
River Pointe 19
Geography Facts
OHIO: There are no natural lakes in this state; they are
all man-made.
PITCAIRN ISLAND: The smallest island with country status is Pitcairn in Polynesia, at just 1.75 sq. miles.
ROME: This was the first city to reach a population
of 1 million people, in 133 B.C. There is a city called
Rome on every continent.
RUSSIA: The deepest hole ever drilled by man is the
Kola Superdeep Borehole in Russia. It reached a depth
of about 7.62 miles. Drilled for scientific research, it
gave up some unexpected discoveries, one of which
was a huge deposit of hydrogen – so massive that the
mud coming from the hole was boiling with it.
SAHARA DESERT: In the Sahara Desert, there is a
town named Tidikelt, Algeria, which did not receive a
single drop of rain for ten years. Technically, though,
the driest place on earth is in the valleys of the Antarctic
near Ross Island. There has been no rainfall there for
two million years!
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SIBERIA: Siberia contains more than 25% of the
world’s forests.
S.M.O.M.: The actual smallest sovereign entity in
the world is the Sovereign Military Order of Malta
(S.M.O.M.). It is located in the city of Rome, Italy, has
an area of two tennis courts, and has a population of
80, 20 fewer people than the Vatican. It is a sovereign
entity under international law, just as the Vatican is.
SPAIN: “Spain” literally means “the land of rabbits.”
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA: This city was originally
called Pig’s Eye after a man named Pierre “Pig’s Eye”
Parrant, who set up the first business there.
UNITED STATES: The Eisenhower Insterstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight
to be usable as airstrips in times of war and other emergencies.
WATERFALLS:
The water of Angel Falls (the
world’s highest) in Venezuela drops 3,212 feet. They
are 15 times higher than Niagara Falls.
(Joe Goldstein)
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The Great American Baseball Quiz
1. Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in the
National League in 1947.
Who was the first African-American to play in the
American League eleven weeks later?
a) Satchel Paige
b) Larry Doby
c) Elston Howard
d) Luke Easter
2. In 1995, when Cal Ripken, Jr. broke Lou Gehrig’s
record by playing in 2131 consecutive games, which of
Gehrig’s former teammates was on hand to congratulate him?
a) Phil Rizzuto
b) Yogi Berra
c) Joe DiMaggio
d) Wally Pipp
3. How many World Championships have the New York
Yankees won?
a) 22
b) 24
c) 18
d) 26
4. Who is the only player to win the Rookie of the Year,
MVP, and Cy Young awards?
a) Nolan Ryan
b) Bob Gibson
c) Bob Feller
d) Don Newcombe
5. After the US, which country has produced the most
Major League baseball players?
a) Canada
b) Dominican Republic
c) Mexico
d) Japan
6. Who holds the record for hitting home runs in the
most consecutive games? (Hint: The record is eight
games.)
a) Ken Griffey, Jr. of the 1993 Seattle Mariners
b) Don Mattingly of the 1987 New York Yankees
c) Dale Long of the 1996 Pittsburgh Pirates
d) All of the above
7. Who was the first player to earn a million dollars in
one season?
a) Nolan Ryan
b) Johnny Bench
c) Mike
Schmidt
d) George Brett
8. What Baseball Hall of Famer did Ronald Reagan
play in the 1952 movie “The Winning Team”?
a) Ty Cobb b) Grover Cleveland Alexander
c) Eddie Collins d) Rodgers Hornsby
9. This franchise played the first game of the season at
home nearly every year from 1882 through 2008.
a) Boston Red Sox b) Chicago Cubs c) Cincinnati
Reds d) Baltimore Orioles
10. Who was the first player to have his signature
branded into a Louisville Slugger bat, in 1905?
a) Babe Ruth b) Frank “Home Run” Baker c) John
McGraw d) Honus Wagner
(This quiz originally appeared in the June 7, 2009, issue of Parade Magazine. Answers appear near the end
of the newsletter.)
(Paul Dickson)
Solemn & Silly Celebrations
Each month, we are made aware of important issues
by designating it as “…Month.” But some other less
solemn – and sometimes downright silly – events are
celebrated during that month!
MAY is designated as Mental Health Month, Asthma
and Allergy Awareness Month, and National High
Blood Pressure Education Month. It is, however, the
month in which we (or some others) celebrate:
• “National Homebrew Day”
• “National Play Your Ukulele Day”
• “Respect for Chickens Day”
• “Eat What You Want Day” (Good news or bad for
chickens???)
• “Root Canal Appreciation Day” (Oh, yeah. Like
that’s gonna happen!)
• “Great American Grump-Out Day”
JUNE is National Scleroderma Awareness Month and
Clean Air Month. On the lighter side, the following
celebrations also take place in June:
• “National Go Barefoot Day”
• “Upsy Daisy Day”
• “Donald Duck Day”
• “Corn on the Cob Day”
• “Yell ‘Fudge!’ at the Cobras in North America Day”
(Uh, no clue!)
• “World Juggling Day”
• “Take Your Dog To Work Day”
• “Please Take My Children To Work Day”
(Marilyn Mays)
May/June 2010
River Pointe 21
What’s Cookin’ at River Pointe?
GREEN FOODS
Food Editor, Claire Young
COOKING WITH THE KIDS!
No Bake Peanut Butter Balls,
www.amazingmoms.com
½ cup peanut butter
½ cup honey
1 cup crushed corn flakes cereal
2 tablespoons powdered milk
2 eggs, beaten
dash of vanilla
Combine eggs and granola in a bowl. Spread into an 8
inch square pan and bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.
Cut into bars. Serve with peanut butter, honey, jam, or
banana slices with honey.
Sugar and Spice Twists,
Just for Kids Collection
Mix the peanut butter, honey, and powdered milk
together until blended. Roll into balls. Roll the balls 1 tablespoon sugar
into the crushed corn flakes until covered. Refrigerate ¼ teaspoon cinnamon
the leftovers.
1 package (6) refrigerated bread sticks
Lunch-Box Mac ‘n’ Cheese Muffins
4 large eggs
1 cup Orange Puree (see below)
2 cups cooked macaroni
2 cups shredded low-fat colby or cheddar cheese,
divided
Salt and freshly ground pepper
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease baking
sheet. Stir together sugar and cinnamon and place
on plate. Open the package of breadsticks and divide
dough into 6 portions. Roll each portion into a 12 inch
rope and roll into the sugar and cinnamon mixture.
Twist into a pretzel shape and place onto the prepared
baking sheet. Bake 15 to 18 minutes or until lightly
browned. Remove from oven and cool for 5 minutes.
Serve warm.
Heat oven to 350 degrees. Line a muffin tin with paper
liners; spray with oil. In a mixing bowl, whisk together
eggs and puree. Mix in macaroni, 1 ½ cups cheese,
and salt and pepper to taste. Divide evenly among the
muffin cups; top with remaining cheese. Bake 20 to 22
minutes, or until lightly brown and bubbly on top.
Cinnamon Apple “Pies”
From the kitchen of Lisa Murphy
Orange Puree (For carotene and vitamin C & E)
1 medium sweet potato or yam, peeled, chopped, &
boiled soft
3 medium to large carrots, peeled, sliced, & boiled
soft.
Mix into mac & cheese, pasta, pizza sauces, tomato
soup, and other red or orange foods.
Preheat broiler. Lightly toast cinnamon bread. Place
toasted bread on a baking sheet and spread equal
amounts of apple pie filling on each slice of bread. Top
each slice with 2 tablespoons of cheddar cheese. Broil
2-3 minutes until cheese is melted. Makes 6 “pies.”
Easy Breakfast Bars,
www.amazingmoms.com
2 cups granola
22
6 slices of cinnamon raisin bread
1 can (21 oz.) apple pie filling, drained
¾ cup shredded mild cheddar cheese
PB & J Cookie Sandwiches,
½ cup butter or margarine, softened
½ cup creamy peanut butter
¼ cup vegetable shortening
1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon baking powder
1 cup mini candy coated chocolate pieces
½ cup finely chopped peanuts
½ cup grape or strawberry jam
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In large bowl cream
butter, peanut butter, shortening, and sugar until light
and fluffy; beat in egg and vanilla. In medium bowl
combine flour, baking soda, and baking powder; blend
into creamed mixture. Stir in the candy pieces an d
nuts. Drop by rounded teaspoonsful onto ungreased
cookie sheet. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until light golden
brown. Let cool 2 minutes on cookie sheets; remove to
wire rack for cooling. Just
before serving, spread ½
teaspoon of jam on bottom
of one cookie; top with
second cookie. Store in
tightly covered container.
Makes about 2 dozen
sandwich cookies.
Helpful Hints:
1.
Keep
a
small
tube
of
regular,
white
toothpaste
inthe
kitchen
If you get a minor burn, just put on
enough toothpaste to cover the burn. I’ve used it
many times; you won’t scar and the pain goes away
immediately. Of course, this should not be used if
the burn is severe.
2. While cooking around children, always turn pot
handles towards the back of the cooktop.
We’re Your
Neighbor!!
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service when you shop at Seaside Furniture.
Being family owned and operated for
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Come in and see!
Great L ooks. Great Prices. Great S er vice.
Special O rders
Are O ur Specialty!
3. To prevent serious injuries to children, be sure to
clean up any spills on the floor immediately.
For the upcoming newsletter, we‘re requesting “ veggies
on the grill” recipes. Please e-mail your favorite recipes
to me at ptl585858@verizon.net or leave them in my
mailbox at 47 Chalfont Lane.
Since 1953
“The Comfortable Place To Shop”
Main Store
3301 Rt. 37 East • Toms River
732-929-8000
Clearance Center
1501 Rt. 37 West • Toms River
May/June 2010
732-281-1014
River Pointe 23
Yogi-isms
Lawrence Peter (Yogi) Berra was born on May 12,
1925, in St. Louis, Missouri. He got his nickname from
a friend and teammate named Bobby Hofman, who said
Berra looked like a yogi (Hindu holy man) when he
sat with his legs and arms crossed waiting for his turn
at bat. Through the years, Yogi’s malapropisms have
become legendary. In fact, he has eight entries in the
most recent Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations, more than
any living US President! Yogi now makes his home in
Montclair, NJ.
YOGI-ISMS ABOUT BASEBALL
• All pitchers are liars or cry-babies.
• Baseball is 90% mental; the other half is physical.
• I knew the record would stand until it was broken.
• He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s
amphibious.
• How can you think and hit at the same time?
• If people don’t want to come to the ball park,
nobody’s gonna stop them.
• A home opener is always exciting, no matter if it’s
home or on the road.
• You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you.
• Little League baseball is a very good thing because
it keeps the kids out of the house and the parents off the
streets.
• Slump? I ain’t in no slump…I just ain’t hitting.
• The other teams could make trouble for us if they
win.
CLASSIC YOGI-ISMS
• Always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise,
they won’t go to yours.
• A nickel ain’t worth a dime any more.
• Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
• Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.
• I just want to thank everyone who made this day
necessary.
• I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let
them walk to school like I did.
• If the world was perfect, it wouldn’t be.
• If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going
to answer.
• If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.
• Never answer an anonymous letter.
• We’re lost, but we’re making good time. (Ladies,
your husbands won’t know why this is funny!)
24
• (During the streaking craze) I don’t know if they
were men or women (fans running across the field).
They had bags over their heads.
• If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
• If you don’t know where you’re going, you might
wind up someplace else.
• It gets late early out there.
• It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.
• It’s like déjà-vu, all over again.
• Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.
• You better cut the pizza into four pieces because
I’m not hungry enough to eat six.
• The towels (in that hotel) were so thick I could
hardly close my suitcase.
• I didn’t really say everything I said. (My
favorite!)
And, finally, one might ask. Will there be any more
Yogi-isms? I’ll let Yogi answer that one: “It’s tough to
make predictions, especially about the future!”
(Helen Bryce)
The Hindenburgh Disaster
May 6th, 2010, marks the seventy-third anniversary
of the Hindenburg disaster which occurred right across
from the road where River Pointe now stands. Named
for the late Field Marshal Paul von Hindenburg, who
also served as President of Germany from 1925-34,
this 804 ft. zeppelin was to have been the penultimate
achievement of transatlantic travel. Its demise ended
that dream forever.
The largest zeppelin in the world, the Hindenburg was
804’ long and had sixteen gas bags containing a total of
7,200,000 cu. ft. of explosive hydrogen gas. Although
the airship was designed to use non-explosive helium,
at that time helium was available only in the United
States and would have cost approximately $600,000.
Besides the financial factor, political tension was
increasing between Germany and the US in 1937. The
decision was made to use hydrogen which was deemed
to be perfectly safe in the hands of experts like the
Germans.
To this day, the actual cause of the Hindenburg disaster
is unknown. The “official” cause, given largely to
diffuse the possibility of sabotage which was decried
by both the American and German governments, was
St. Elmo’s fire, a bright blue or violet glow that appears
like fire on tall, sharply pointed structures, but nowhere
is there a recorded incident of St. Elmo’s fire’s having
ever caused an explosion. Other theories that were
explored and then discredited included mechanical
failure, lightning, the use of inflammable “dope” on the
outer skin of the ship, and even the possibility that the
Hindenburg was shot down from the sky.
What is known about the last flight of the Hindenburg?
Let’s backtrack a little to create a fuller picture. The
airship first flew on March 4th of 1936. It had sleeping
compartments with baths for fifty passengers and a
crew of thirty. At the time of its explosion it had flown
ten uneventful round-trips between Germany and the
US. The cost of a trans-Atlantic round-trip was $720;
one-way, $400. The average traveling time from the
United States to Germany was fifty-two hours, while
the westbound trip took sixty-one hours.
According to official records, the ill-fated trip had
experienced a delay of some 10 hours, including
a local delay of more than an hour near Lakehurst
because of winds, rain, and lightning. Reportedly, the
Hindenburg also seemed to be attempting a mooring
at too fast a speed and too high an altitude. On-theground eyewitnesses observed a blue glow atop the
dirigible preceding the explosion; hence, the reference
to St. Elmo’s fire. And even those of us who were
born after 1937 are familiar with radio announcer Herb
Morrison’s horrifying words: “It’s bursts into flames…
Get out of the way, please, oh my, this is terrible…Oh,
the humanity, and all the passengers!”
In all, thirteen passengers, one on-the-ground linehandler, and twenty-two crewmen (including “Little
Captain” Ernst Lehmann) were killed. Another casualty,
however, was the dream of lighter-than-air craft as the
ultimate means of modern travel.
Our own Pete Murphy, who is part of the group that
is restoring the remains of the Hindenburg, reports the
following: “A mock-up of the Hindenburg’s control
car, used in the movie ‘Hindenburg,’ is presently under
restoration in Hangar One at the Lakehurst Naval Air
Station, now part of the ‘Joint Base McGuire-DixLakehurst’ complex. The Navy Lakehurst Historical
Society is hoping to have the restoration completed
within the next two years. The control car (gondola)
is viewed as part of the tours run by the Historical
Society.” There will be a ceremony held at the crash site
memorial on the evening of May 6th to commemorate
the seventy-third anniversary of the disaster.”
(Researched by Helen Bryce)
May/June 2010
River Pointe 25
The History Of Bocce
As our third season of bocce here at River Pointe
begins, I thought it was a fitting time to find out where
this game we’ve grown to love came from. According
to multiple Internet sources, the Egyptians played a
form of the game with polished rocks as far back as
5200B.C. (This is based on a painting of two boys that
was found in an ancient Egyptian tomb.) The game
then slowly made its way to Greece in around 800 B.C.
The Romans, who learned the game from the Greeks,
then introduced it throughout their empire. In fact, it
was the Romans who gave the game its present name;
“bocce” is derived from the Latin word bottia, meaning
“boss.” (Ask the Karate Kids about that!) In early
times, coconuts brought back from Africa were used.
Later, olive wood was used to make bocce balls.
Despite the fact that the popularity of bocce
flourished throughout Europe, many of the heads of
state condemned and prohibited the game based on
claims that playing the game distracted men from
military exercises. The Republic of Venice punished
participants with fines and even imprisonment, while
the Catholic Church instructed its believers that bocce
was considered the sin of gambling. (Hey! Gambling
is a sin??? Uh-oh!)
26
Despite all of this, bocce continued to thrive during
that time, especially in Great Britain where Queen
Elizabeth I and Sir Francis Drake were its biggest fans.
One legend states that Drake refused to set out to battle
the infamous Spanish Armada until his bocce game
ended. “First,” he declared, “we finish the game, then
we have time for the Invincible Armada!” (I hope no
River Pointer takes the game that seriously! Well…
maybe a few?) George Washington himself had bocce
courts built at Mt. Vernon.
The first modern bocce courts appeared in Italy in
1947, including 15 teams in and around Rivoli. The
annual Bocce World Championship also started that
year. Italian immigrants to the United States have
continued to perpetuate the many versions of the
game as their local villages played it. And so, to our
returning and new River Pointe bocce players, I say
enjoy the world’s earliest sport, one known to revive
the body and the mind, and, next to soccer, the most
popular game in the world. In the US alone, there are
25,000,000 participants in bocce, a sport now included
in the Special Olympics and proposed to be in future
Olympic Games.
(Thanks to Marilyn Mays for the initial email which
inspired this article. Helen Bryce)
History Of Memorial Day
While we are all accustomed to observing Memorial
Day on the last Monday in May,that was not always the
case. Originally called “Decoration Day,” it was conceived as a day to memorialize the 620,000 Americans
who lost their lives on both sides of the Civil War. (The
name, “Decoration Day,” was derived from the practice
of largely women’s groups decorating the graves and
tombs of the Union and Confederate dead with flags
and flowers.)
Although more than two dozen cities and towns claim
to have held the first celebration of the holiday, in May
of 1996 President Lyndon Baines Johnson officially
named Waterloo, NY, as its birthplace. It seems that,
in 1865, a Waterloo druggist named Henry C. Welles
mentioned the idea for such a holiday to General John
B. Murray, a Civil War hero. Together, they organized
the first such event which was held on May 5, of the
next year. Two years later, on the same date, General
John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of
the Republic, officially proclaimed May 30th as “Decoration Day.” (Note the change from the previous May
5th observances of Decoration Day from May 5th to
the 30th. One unsupported theory is that the new date
was suggested by a French emigree who organized a
Decoration Day event in Virginia in 1866. She felt that
May 30th was more appropriate because, in France,
that date marks the “Day of Ashes” when Napoleon’s
ashes were brought home from St. Helena.) New York
state, in 1873, was the first to officially recognize and
observe the day, and within 17 years, all of the states
in the North followed suit. Southern states, however,
refused to do so until after World War I when, in 1882,
the holiday evolved from honoring only the Civil War
dead to including the Americans who died in any war
our country was involved in. (To this day, however,
nine Southern states also observe some variation of the
holiday to honor only the fallen Confederate soldiers.)
Finally, in 1971, President Richard Nixon and the
Congress passed a law that officially coined the name
“Memorial Day,” and marked the last Monday in May
for its observance. Let us never forget that freedom
isn’t free; countless patriots have paid the price – and
we thank them. President Benjamin Harrison said it
best: “I have never been able to think of the day as one
of mourning; I have never quite been able to feel that
half-masted flags were appropriate on Decoration Day.
I have rather felt that the flag should be at the peak because those whose dying we commemorate rejoiced in
seeing it where their valor placed it. We honor them in
a joyous, thankful, triumphant commemoration of what
they did.”
(Researched by Helen Bryce)
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River Pointe 27
Our Crazy
English Language
Words of Inspiration
HOW TO PLANT YOUR GARDEN
Springtime is a time for new beginnings. The world
Why is it that:
is turning colorful after the whites and grays of winter.
• There is no egg in eggplant or ham in a hamburger?
So why not think about planting a garden? I know that
• Nor is there any apple or pine in pineapple?
• English muffins weren’t invented in England, or vegetable gardens are not supposed to be a part of River
Pointe, but bear with me. I believe that we can plant
French fries in France?
• Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which this garden and watch it grow.. Follow these directions
and enjoy the fruits of your garden!
aren’t sweet, are meats?
• Quicksand works slowly?
First, you come to the garden alone,
• Boxing rings are square?
While the dew is still on the roses…
• Guinea pigs are neither pigs nor from Guinea?
For the garden of your daily living,
• If the plural of “tooth” is “teeth,” why isn’t the plural
PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS:
of “booth”, “beeth”?
• One goose, two geese; one moose, two meese?
1.
Peace of mind
• If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
2.
Peace of heart
• If a vegetarian eats vegetable, what does a 3.
Peace of soul
humanitarian eat???
PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH:
• Why do noses run and feet smell?
And, if these aren’t enough…Let’s look at the 1.
Squash gossip
following pairs of words that are spelled the same, but 2.
Squash indifference
have different pronunciations and meanings. (Ed.’s 3.
Squash grumbling
Note: Words like these are called homographs; that is, 4.
Squash selfishness
“written the same.”)
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE:
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
1.
Lettuce be faithful
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse 2.
Lettuce be kind
more refuse.
3.
Lettuce be patient
4. We must polish the Polish lamps.
4.
Lettuce really love one another
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the
desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it
was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When it was shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10.I did not object to the placement of the object.
11.The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12.The oarsmen had a row about how to row.
13.They were too close to close the door.
14.The buck does funny things when he’s around
does.
15.A seamstress and a sewer fell into a flooded sewer.
16.In a desperate attempt to help with the planting, the
farmer taught his sow to sow!
17.The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18.Upon seeing the tear in my dress, I shed a tear.
19.I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20.How can I intimate this to my most intimate
friend?
(Submitted by Eileen Ebell)
28
NO GARDEN IS WITHOUT TURNIPS:
1.
Turnip for meetings
2.
Turnip for service
3.
Turnip to help one another
TO CONCLUDE OUR GARDEN, WE MUST HAVE
THYME:
1.
Thyme for each other
2.
Thyme for family
3.
Thyme for friends
WATER FREELY WITH PATIENCE AND
CULTIVATE WITH
LOVE. THERE IS MUCH FRUIT IN YOUR
GARDEN BECAUSE YOU
REAP WHAT YOU SOW.
(Linda Fraistat)
Totally Useless Information
About Animals
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
A cockroach will live nine days without its head
before it starves to death.
Speaking of heads, the male praying mantis cannot
copulate with its head attached to its body.
Therefore, the female initiates mating by ripping
the male’s head off. (Ladies, this fact is NOT totally
useless. Repeat it again and again to your
husbands!)
Fleas can jump 350 times their body length.
It’s like a human being jumping the length of a
football field.
A catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (One might
wonder what is so tasty at the bottom of the pond?)
Some
lions
mate
50
times
a
day.
(NO COMMENT!)
The original name for butterflies was flutterbies.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Butterflies
have feet???)
Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.
(Thank the good Lord!)
A cat’s urine glows under a black light.
(Wonder who figured that out???)
A snail can sleep for three years. (Is that a
problem?)
The only domestic animal NOT mentioned in
the Bible is the cat.
The house fly hums in the middle octave key of F.
A rat can live longer without water than a camel.
Bats always turn left when they exit a cave.
It’s possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not
downstairs. (Uh…are there that many “upstairs
cows”?)
A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (Do you
remember the song lyrics, “Or would you rather
be a pig”?)
Armadillos can be housebroken.
The world’s most common animal is the rat, found
on every continent, including Antarctica.
Lateral Puzzles
Lateral puzzles present situations which require an
explanation. While the newsletter format does not allow
for the traditional dialogue between the quizmaster and
the solvers, by not printing the answers for the five
lateral puzzles until the next newsletter, that kind of
dialogue can occur among ourselves.
1. The Deadly Party
A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He
then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank
the punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the
man not die?
2. The Blind Beggar
A blind beggar had a brother who died. What relation
was the blind beggar to the brother who died? (Brother
is not the answer.)
3. The Elder Twin
One day, Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later,
her older twin brother Terry celebrated his birthday.
How is that possible?
4. The Man on the Twelfth Floor
A man lives on the twelfth floor of an apartment building.
Every morning he takes the elevator down to the lobby
and leaves the building. In the evening, he gets into the
elevator; if there is someone else in the elevator – or if
was raining that day – he goes directly back to his floor.
If not, he goes to the tenth floor and walks up two flights
of stairs to his apartment. Why?
5. Husband Murdered by Sister
A woman has incontrovertible proof in court that her
husband was murdered by her sister. The judge declares,
“This is the strangest case I’ve ever seen. Though it’s
a cut-and-dried case, this woman cannot be punished.”
Why not?
Answers to the March/April Lateral Puzzles:
1. The Coal, the Carrot, and the Scarf
These are left after a snowman melts.
2. Trouble with Sons
They were two of a set of triplets, quadruplets, etc.
3. Push That Car
The man was playing Monopoly
4. Friday
The man’s horse was named “Friday.”
5. Manhole Covers
A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped
down the diagonal of the manhole. A round cover
cannot be dropped down the manhole. Therefore, for
safety and practicality, all manhole covers should be
round.
(Carolyn Morrison)
May/June 2010
River Pointe 29
Laughter: The Best Medicine
There’s Something about Marriage!
• My husband and I divorced over religious differences:
he thought he was God and I didn’t.
• Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring,
wedding ring, and suffering.
• For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by
mistake.
• There are two times when a man doesn’t understand
a woman: before marriage and after marriage.
• The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon
grove didn’t seem qualified for the job. “Look, miss,”
said the foreman, “have you had any actual experience
in picking lemons?” “Well, as a matter of fact, yes!”
she replied. “I’ve been divorced three times!”
• An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can
remove a curse he’s been living with for the last 40
years. The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to
tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse
on you.” Without hesitation, the old man says, “I now
pronounce you man and wife.”
• A man tells his psychiatrist, “Doc, my wife is
unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s
Bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with any guy
who asks her! I’m going crazy – what do you think
I should do?” “Relax,” says the doctor, “take a deep
breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where IS
Larry’s Bar?”
We know that none of us who are happily married can
relate to any of these jokes!
(Lucille Rielly)
HOW TO BE GRACIOUS
Jennifer’s wedding day was rapidly approaching.
Not even her parents’ nasty divorce could dampen her
excitement. Her mother had even found the PERFECT
dress to wear and was confident that she would be the
best-dressed “Mother of the Bride” ever. A week later,
Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new,
young wife had bought the exact same dress as Jen’s
mother! Jennifer asked her young “step-monster” to
exchange the dress, but she replied, “Absolutely not! I
look like a million bucks in that dress and I’m wearing
it!”
Jennifer broke the news to her mother who graciously
said, “Never mind, sweetheart. I’ll get another dress.
After all, it’s your special day.” The next day, they went
shopping and found an equally beautiful dress for her
mother. At lunch, Jennifer asked her mother if she was
30
going to return the first dress. Her mother just smiled
and replied, “Of course not, dear. I’m wearing it to the
rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding!”
(Helen Bryce)
Those who are or who have been teachers will love this
one:
At Penn State University, there were four sophomores
taking chemistry, all having an “A” average. They were
so confident about their grades that, the weekend before
finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big
party. After all the hearty partying, however, they slept
all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to Penn State
until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the
final exam unprepared, they decided they would later
explain to their professor why they missed it. They told
him that, on their way back from visiting friends, they
had a flat tire. The professor agreed that they could
make up the exam the next day. They studied all that
night for the final. The next day, the professor placed
them in four separate rooms and gave them each a test
booklet. They all quickly answered the first question
which was worth 5 points. “Cool,” they thought. “This
is a breeze!” Then they turned the page. On this page
was written: “95 points – which tire?”
(Lucille Rielly)
Answers to our Love Birds
1. Apuzzo 2. Beaton 3. Bergen 4. Bryce
5. Bussanich 6. Butch 7. Casella 8. Castka
9. Ebell 10. Fein 11.Fraistat 12. Gelman
13.Holbritter 14. Hyle 15.Kline 16. Knapp
17.Mauro 18. Mays 19.Mondella 20. Morin
21.Morrison 22. Moschetta 23.Muller
24. Nackanechy 25.Pellegrino 26. Politto
27.Principato 28. Purfield 29.Rielly 30. Ross
31.Simpson 32. Teague 33.Vonah 34. Wright
35.Young
Answers to The Great American Baseball Quiz:
1.B 2. C 3. D 4. D 5. B 6. D 7. A 8. B 9.
C 10. D
ANDY ROONEY SAYS:
As I grow older, I value women over 50 most of all.
Here are just a few reasons why:
• A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle
of the night and ask, “What are you thinking?” She
doesn’t care what you think.
• If a woman over 50 doesn’t want to watch the
game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She
does what she wants to do, and the game is even more
interesting.
• Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a
screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle
of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it,
they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can
get away with it.
• Women get psychic as they age. You never have to
confess your sins to a woman over 50.
• Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50
is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
• Older women are forthright and honest. They tell
you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one.
You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with
them.
• Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of
reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every
stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there
is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of
himself with some 22 year-old waitress.
(Submitted by Sandra Chapman)
NINE EXPRESSIONS WOMEN LOVE TO USE
(A heads-up for men!)
1.“FINE!” This is the word women use to end an
argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.“FIVE MINUTES”: If she is getting dressed, this
means half an hour. Five minutes only really means
five minutes if she has just given you five more minutes
to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.“NOTHING!” This is the calm before the storm.
This means “Something” and you should be on your
toes. Arguments that begin with “Nothing!” usually
end in “Fine!”
4.“GO AHEAD”: This is a dare, not permission.
DON’T DO IT!!!
A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and
arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for
the meaning of “Nothing!”)
6.“THAT’S OKAY”: This is one of the most dangerous
statements women can make to a man. “That’s okay”
means she wants to think long and hard before deciding
how and when you will pay for your latest mistake.
7.“THANKS”: If a woman is thanking you, don’t
faint or question her. Just say, “You’re welcome.” (We
need to add a clause here: If she says, “Thanks a lot!”
– that is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.
DO NOT SAY, “You’re welcome.” That will bring on
a “Whatever!”)
8.“WHATEVER!” This is a woman’s way of saying,
“Forget it; I don’t have any more time to waste on
you!”
9.“DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT; I GOT IT”:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something
that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing herself. This will later result in a man
asking, “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response,
refer to #3.
(Submitted by Linda Fraistat)
THE MAGIC ELEVATOR
An Amish man and his son went into a mall for the
very first time. Although they were amazed by almost
everything, they were especially awed by two shiny
silver walls that could move apart and then slide back
together again. The boy asked, “What is that, Father?”
Never having seen such a thing, the father admitted
he didn’t know. While the pair was watching, an old,
decrepit woman with most of her teeth missing crept
up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The
walls opened and she disappeared behind them into
a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his
father watched the small circular numbers above them
light up sequentially, then descend in the reverse order.
Finally, the silver walls opened again and a gorgeous,
statuesque blond in a tight mini-skirt stepped out.
“Quick,” shouted the father. “Go get your mother!”
(Submitted by Helen Bryce)
5.(LOUD SIGH): This is actually a word, but it is
a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.
May/June 2010
River Pointe 31
32

Volume 3 Number 3 May/June 2010

Transcription

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