3:00 pm olathe Sweet Corn Festival Park

Men in the Mix presents the
2008 Fatherhood Forum
Don’t miss the...
Food
Karaoke
Games
Popcorn
Dunk Tank
Race Cars
Photos
Face
Painting
& MORE!!!
Plus, you’ll
learn great tips
and tricks to
make yourself
a better parent!
Saturday June 7, 2008
10:00 am - 3:00 pm
Olathe Sweet Corn Festival Park
Calling all dads, grandpas, uncles, brothers and any other male
role model and their children and families. Don’t miss this fun
and interactive event - you’ll learn, laugh and bond with your child.
“ ”
Quotables
What’s the most fun
part of being a dad?
Bill Patterson
Montrose County Commissioner
“For me, the most fun was
watching them grow into adults.
Of course, some times were more
distressing than fun.”
Gary Ellis
Montrose County Commissioner
“I believe the “most fun part” is the
sharing of experiences as they are
growing up. As you share these
experiences, you build memories.”
Allen Belt,
Montrose County Commissioner
“I have two daughters who are definitely the apple of my eye. It has
been so much fun loving them and
helping them as they go through
the different stages in life.”
Rick Dunlap
Montrose County Sheriff
“The most fun part of being a dad
was watching my kids grow up to
become responsible adults utilizing the values that I instilled in
each of them.”
Steve Woody
Montrose Daily Press Publisher
“The best thing about fatherhood
is that they include me in their
lives. It is a beauty unlike any
other.”
Empowering
DADS
dren. Three uniquely talented coaches work within
How important is dear old Dad? In those “Leave the program to enable Dad to think about strategic
it to Beaver” days fifty years ago, Dad was the un- planning for dealing with life’s challenges. Those
seen breadwinner, the man who rushed out the door as coaches, Cynthia Harwood, Britt Parks and Chris
Mom was getting the kids ready for school, the man Martin, also pull together group support for Dads and
who returned home at the end of the day, sometimes create experiential opportunities for Dads and kids.
as Mom was putting the children to bed, the man who But reconnecting is often more involved than simply
sat watching sports on TV on the weekends while spending time with kids. The Empowering Dads proMom shuttled children around town for Little League gram is also prepared to address the many legal issues
and ballet. Dad was the Supreme Authority on all that may have entered the picture when Dad originally
matters of discipline, as in, “wait until your Father fell away from the family. And certainly Empowering
gets home!” Dad’s was the voice to be feared on long Dads recognizes education does not stop with the last
car trips when Mom handed over the mantle of ref- day of school. The program focuses on such necessary
eree for fights in the back seat. Dad was the guy who educational areas as teaching parenting skills, teaching
would throw the footskills for avoiding drug
ball to you in the back
and alcohol misuse,
yard—for about twelve
teaching all important
minutes. Although Dad
life skills for healthier
was frequently a distant
choices in life and teachfigure in the American
ing skills for managing
home of fifty years ago,
stress and anger.
he was at least a figure
Dear old Dad is facin the home.
ing a different world
Between 1960 and
than the world of fifty
1980 the divorce rate
years ago. He is likely
in the United States
to no longer be the sole
nearly tripled. Curbreadwinner.
Many
rently about a million
factors in today’s world
children each year in
clearly make divorce
this country will have
an easier option. The
to deal with divorcing
cost of raising a famparents. Dad may no
ily seems to grow more
longer be in the home.
daunting every day. And
Thirty-four
percent
yet the one constant is
of American children
the unconditional love
will grow up in a home
a child is willing to lavwithout their biological
ish on Dad, if Dad will
father. Twenty-seven
only give that child the
percent of American Empowering Dads of Montrose County works to strengthen the re- chance. Empowering
children live in sin- lationship between fathers and their children. The most simple way Dads is here to make
gle parent households.
that happen.
The consequences for to reconnect is by spending time with your child - play their favorite • Funding for this project
these children can be game or stretch your imagination during a tea party. Above: A local was provided by the Unitdevastating. The chil- dad offers support and praise to his son during soccer practice.
ed States Department of
dren without a biologiHealth and Human Servphoto by Becky Roberg ices, Administration for
cal father in the home
are two to three times
Children and Families,
as likely to be poor, use drugs and experience edu- Grant: 90FR0079/01.
cational problems, health problems and emotional or • Any opinions, finding, and conclusions or recommendabehavioral problems. Those children are also more tions expressed in this material are those of the author(s)
likely to be the victims of child abuse or to engage and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States
in criminal behavior than are their peers who have a Department of Health and Human Services, Administration
father in the home. Reconnecting Dads and kids may for Children and Families.
be a great idea for Dads, kids and our whole society.
• Sponsored by Montrose County Health & Human ServEmpowering Dads is working in Montrose to re- ices.
build that vital relationship between Dad and his chilBy Richard Gingery, M. D.
FatherhoodFacts
A Brief History of Fatherhood
Eighteenth and Early Nineteenth Centuries - The Moral Overseer
Fathers were viewed as the family’s ultimate source of moral teaching and worldly
judgments. A moral pedagogue, the father instructed children of both sexes in what
God as well as the world expected of them. While relationships between these fathers
and their children, especially sons, were strong, fathers tended to restrain their emotions and express approval rather than affection.
Early Nineteenth to Mid-Twentieth Centuries - The Distant Breadwinner
With the ‘Industrial Revolution’ came shifts in paternal work patterns, and new conceptions of parent-child relationships that included a greater role for the mother and
a decreased, more indirect role for the father. In contrast to earlier periods, a father’s
work was increasingly outside the immediate household, and responsibility for the domestic sphere shifted toward mothers. The father continued to set the official standard
of morality and to be the final arbiter of family discipline, but he did so at more of a
remove than before.
Post World War II to Mid-1960s - The Sex Role Model
To combat the perceived problems of maternal influence and father absence, fathers
during this period had more active involvement in the family unit. Still a distant breadwinner, fathers influenced family by clearly delineating and demonstrating gender differences that supported stereotypical conceptions of masculinity and femininity. During this time, it was thought that fathers should not be directly involved in the birth of
their children. An obstetrician asserted in 1964 that whether he is “short, thin, or fat,
of any race, color, or creed,” an expectant father “tends to pace, chain smoke, and talk
to himself out loud.”
1970s – 1980s – 1990s - The New Father
While all of the father types of the past, especially that of distant breadwinner, exist among the fathers of recent decades, new alternatives to traditional roles have
emerged. As a result of the women’s movement, and to a changing economic climate
that often made it impossible for one parent to be the sole breadwinner, numerous
shifts occurred in father’s behaviors, including: being present for the birth of their children, being involved with infant children, participating in actual day-to-day childcare
work and equal involvement with daughters as well as sons.
2001 & Beyond - A Fatherhood Odyssey
The emergence of a growing “Father’s Movement” reflects a re-thinking of past roles
and the creation of new approaches to fathering. Men, women, and children – in families and in practice – are contributing to this ongoing odyssey and are benefiting from
the increased and enhanced involvement of fathers in all aspects of family life.
Adapted from Pleck, J.H (1985), American Fathering in Historical Perspective and further Adapted by
Doug Gertner P.H.D, Emu Consulting, Appreciating and Working with Colorado Fathers: Meeting the
Challenges of Supporting Fathers, Mothers, Children and Families, (2007).
Fatherlessness in America
• An estimated 24.7 million children (36.3%) live absent their
biological father.
Source: National Fatherhood Initiative, Father Facts, (3rd Ed.): 5
• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.
Source: US Department of Health and Human Services, Bureau of Census
• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless
homes.
Source: US Department of Health and Human Services, Bureau of Census
• 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from
fatherless homes. Source: Center for Disease Control
• 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from
fatherless homes. Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, vol. 14, pg. 403-426
• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
Source: National Principals Association Reports on the State of High Schools
• 70% of all juveniles in state operated institutions come from
fatherless homes.
Source: US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988
• 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home.
Source: Fulton County, Georgia jail populations; Texas Department of
Corrections, 1992
• The average man living at home spends 12 minutes a day with
his children.
Source: James Levine, “Working Fathers” 1997, 23-24
Life’s a Jungle...
Hang with Dad for a Day
Schedule of Events
Saturday, June 7, 2008 • 10:00 - 3:00 pm
10:00 - 10:30 am
Welcome
10:30 am - 12:30 pm
Face Painting
11:00 am - 12:00 pm
Magic Circle Players production of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
11:00 am - 2:30 pm
Lunch - Hot dogs & Hamburgers
12:00 - 1:00 pm
Story telling by Carol McDermott
10:00 - 2:45 pm
Karaoke with Mike Goodman
All Day Activities - 10:30 - 3:00 pm
Bubbles
Animal Sponges
Play Ground Games
Bean Bag Toss
Tattoos (washable)
Photo Gallery
Shaving Cream Fun
Model Airplanes
Climbing Wall
Dunk Tank
Apple Bobbing
Race Cars
Pepsi Hot Dog Wagon
Popcorn
Race Cars
Photo Buttons
Don’t miss
our
3 Grand Pr
ize
Giveaw
3 Great Grand Prize packages will be given away
throughout the day. You must be present to win!
ays perfec
t for Dad!
The Grill M
aster
The No-Spe
ctator
Sportsman
The Great
Outdoorsm
an
Encouraging Dads to Get Involved
Montrose County RE-1J Early Childhood Centers making a difference
The Montrose County RE-1J Early
Childhood Centers has been a pioneer
for over fourteen years in implementing
fatherhood involvement activities in the
community. The activities were well
received thus identifying a need in the
community for fatherhood involvement
organization. The program encourages
“fathers”—biological dads, step-dads,
grandfathers, uncles and other men
significant in the lives of their preschool
children--to get a good start in being
involved with their child and his school.
Research and common sense show that
children benefit in all areas of their social, emotional, educational, and physical
growth when they have a positive and
active male role model.
The MSCD RE-1J Early Childhood
Centers have been encouraging “dads”
to spend time growing with and enjoying their children. Men volunteer in the
classrooms and participate in a special
Guy’s Night and Guy’s Week annually.
In the past three years in addition to the
“traditional activities for men”, a once
a month Saturday morning Guys and
Tykes provided an additional opportunity for guys to build memories with
their children—preschoolers as well
as siblings. It is hoped that involving
fathers at this early stage will begin a
life-long interaction between the “dads”
and the schools that will assist families
in educating their children.
During the activities, dads and children
are head-to head or cuddled together as
they build birdhouses, search for pretend
dinosaur bones, decorate cookies, make
a Hug-a-Tree safety kit, or fly a kite. At
gymnastics’ day, tiny tots, given loving encouragement by cheering “dads”,
swing fearlessly on a rope and jump into
a pile of foam squares. Everyone listens
attentively as friendly policemen demonstrate safety and rules at a bike rodeo.
Teams of men and kids brave a brisk fall
day for a game of ultimate football.
Guys and Tykes also have two “whole”
family events each year. The Division of
Wildlife volunteers and staff provide all
the equipment needed for a fishing derby
which is well attended by over a hundred
people. The second family day is Water
and Books as an end event where children pick books for their summer reading
and also do pool play after a water safety
activity. The Early Childhood Centers
program recognizes that the success of
the fatherhood activities is due in great
part by the support and encouragement
of the moms.
MCSD RE-1J Early Childhood Centers organized the first “Men in the Mix
Fatherhood Forum” in January 2007.
Other community organizations that
valued fatherhood banned together with
the Early Childhood Centers to host the
second event in September 2007. The
third annual “Men in the Mix” is being
planned by seven organizations and interested individuals from Grand Junction
to Alamosa who strongly believe in the
value of a strong father/child relationship.
The Montrose RE-1J Early Childhood
Center focuses on involving fathers early in
their child’s lives to foster life-long participation and enjoyment.
photo courtesy of http://www.estateplanningorganizer.
com/aff/popup/images/father_reading.jpg
Families are
Priority at
Hilltop
Hilltop’s mission and vision is to provide leadership for community-based services that foster
self-sufficiency and enrich quality of life. We
work to fulfil our mission everyday through management of 21 community-based programs serving 20,000 people annually in Mesa, Delta, Montrose and Ouray counties. These programs range
from pre-natal services to assisted and retirement
living communities. At Hilltop, we are not only
dedicated to serving the underserved or those not
served, but we continue to do our work with 11
other partnerships that originated from gaps in the
services that people in our community need. We
strive to help people so that they can better help
themselves. Everyone occasionally needs a hand
up and through our programs and partnerships;
we strive to accomplish this everyday.
Hilltop Tandem Families is one of these programs. Tandem Families is a family-to-family
mentoring program that supports children and
families experiencing challenging circumstances.
This program provides mentoring, advocacy,
legal support, mental health services, nurturing
parenting classes, school support and teen groups.
In addition, Tandem Families staff collaborates
with schools, churches and numerous community-based organizations to support tandem families
and natural families. Through this mentoring
process, children who face extra struggles learn
healthier social, behavioral and emotional skills.
Put Men in the Mix
A recipe for a great dad
By Christopher Martin
As a father, have you ever found
yourself in one of those awkward
situations where you look across a
crowded McDonald’s playland at a
toddler who is just having a classic
meltdown? The child is screaming at
the top of its lungs and doing everything within its control to connect a
powerful kick to any available part of
the adult anatomy. The father who is
holding this angry child is talking to
it softly, holding on gently, and cooing his way toward a calmer, happier
child. All you can think is THAT is a
recipe for a great dad.
There probably isn’t any recipe,
any concoction that makes for a perfect dad, but certain elements, in just
the right amount and mixture can help
brew a dad worthy of the name. The
first part that needs to be added to the
mix, in copious quantities, is time.
And lots and lots of it! Time to sit on
the floor until his knees ache building
some new creation out of Lego blocks;
“Oh, you’re right! It DOES look like a
velociraptor!” Time to throw the ball.
Time to read the same story, with the
same silly voices, and enjoy its reading for the millionth time. These are
essential ingredients to brewing up a
great dad.
A second ingredient to this concoction we call dad is love - unconditional
love. Even when your 4 year old has
carved her name into the side of your
beautiful black car a great dad will respond with pride that her name is correctly spelled (and NOT with names
we don’t want her to spell!). Dads on
the verge of greatness love the sound
of their children’s laughter and their
playful theatrics. Love your children
for who they are, what they want to
be, and the individuals they become,
and embrace the contribution that you
made to their lives. To be truly successful one must make a contribution
to the life of a child.
A great dad treasures the small
things. Share the thrill when your son
or daughter discovers a real dinosaur
bone in their own backyard and wants
Men in the Mix Recipe Book
1 Happy Child
INGREDIENTS:
• 1 or more positive males (Flour of the Mix)
• 1 or more nurturing females (Sugar of the Mix)
• 1 or more supportive communities**
•
(Salt or preservative of the Mix)
Other ingredients possible (Fruits of the Mix)
** Communities are: Schools, Churches, Neighbors, Extended Family
Friends, and Community Organizations
to use your good hammer for a digging tool! Help turn over rocks and
see what lurks underneath and remain
totally calm when they dump the
contents of their “bug jars” onto the
kitchen counter to look them over. A
great dad will show restraint and NOT
share with this beautiful child what
you did with ants, and a magnifying
glass, when you were her age. Probably best that mom doesn’t know what
crawled all over the cutting block. It
might upset her!
Those great dads are involved in
their children’s lives on every level.
They know where their sons and
daughters go after school and who
their friends are. They know the
name of their daughter’s teacher, what
grade she’s in, the name of the school
principal, and the best meal to eat in
the cafeteria. Great dads coach their
son’s soccer team and enjoy getting
silly. They are kind and respectful of
their child’s mother. They wrestle.
Dads destined for greatness endure
toenail polish because it makes their
daughters smile.
More than anything else in this
recipe of brewing a great dad is a
willingness and desire to be there.
To be part of their children’s lives in
every way possible from the basics of
changing a diaper, to offering advice
on a prom dress, to attending each
and every basketball practice leading
up to that big game. A great father
is involved, loving, and compassionate. A great father can say “no” and
mean it. A great father is able to admit his mistakes, make corrections
and moves on.
A great dad is comfortable saying,
“I love you.”
Recreation
gets results
Connecting families through recreation
By Becky Roberg
The Montrose Recreation District believes that a family that plays together, stays
together. With this thought in mind, the recreation district offers numerous sports, adventures and other programs that encourage participation of the whole family.
One of the most important roles played by parents at the Montrose Recreation District
is that of volunteer coach. Each year, hundreds of parents step forward to coach youth
sports such as soccer, basketball, baseball, softball and hockey. Coaching is a great opportunity for parents to take an active role in their children’s lives. They can learn the
sport along with their child or teach them valuable lessons about teamwork and sportsmanship. The parents who play cheerleader on the sidelines are just as important. They
offer support and encouragement despite what the scoreboard says. Success isn’t dependent upon winning. It’s dependent upon fun.
The Montrose Recreation District welcomes moms, dads, uncles, grandmas and the
whole gamut to be volunteer coaches, however men often find coaching an easy way to
bond with their children. The realm of sports is a place of comfort for many fathers and
volunteer coaching becomes a vehicle for positive parenting. With the emphasis placed
on fun, the pressure to win is dimished. Therefore fathers focus on teaching skills, both
physical and social, in a place they feel comfortable.
Sports aren’t the only activities that promote parental involvement. The Montrose Recreation District offers numerous family adventures that include river rafting, fishing and
trips to amusement parks. There’s no pressure to teach or lead during these trips. Parent’s
and children alike have fun racing go-karts, getting wet on the river and reeling in the big
fish. They learn together and often find common interests they never knew they had.
The family adventure trips offer fathers and mothers a chance to kick off their working-parent role for a day and remember the joy of youth. They get to see life from a
perspective that is easily forgotten after a 40 hour work week, 5 loads of laundry and
paying bills. Being able to understand a child’s perspective is key to developing effective
communication and trust.
Through play, families learn from each other. Volunteer coaches teach life lessons
about success, failure, teamwork and cooperation. Parents who cheer on the sidelines
learn about their child’s likes and dislikes and show support no matter what the circumstances. At the recreation district good parents do more than tell their children what do to
- they play, win, lose, laugh and cry right along with their child.
Recreation makes it possible for families to come together and enjoy each other. This
interaction opens communication and strengthens bonds. Families walk away healthier
and happier, which is a big step in the right direction.
Questions? Contact Becky Roberg, Community Relations Specialist, 249-7831 x18 or
email broberg@montrose.net. “For a Better Quality of Life...MRD.”
un
Family F
Leagues, Parties
Birthday
& more!!
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ontrose.co
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The Montrose Recreation District provides a variety of programs that promote parent
participation. One of the most popular is the Introduction to T-Ball Clinic. Parents are
encouraged to work with their youngster, helping them learn new skills and drills. This
involvement is a perfect chance for dad to step in and take an active role in their child’s
development.
photo by Becky Roberg
• Summer
• Savings
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• inSouth
Montrose
Thank You
2008 Fatherhood Forum Sponsors
The Men
in the
Mix Committee:
Health & Human Services
Silver Sponsors
Bronze Sponsors
Contributors
Alpine Bank, Wal-Mart, Bank of Colorado, Pepsi, McDonalds, Bank of the West, City Market