August 2012 - The Amsterdam Stun

Page 1
The Editor’s Bit
Our football correspondent Frank is on
holiday in Asia, so it was a bit of a panic when
we still hadn’t received this month’s Being
Frank on Football less than 24 hours before
this Stun has to go to the printers. August is the
month when Frank reveals his predictions for
the upcoming Premier League season, so the
contestants in our Premier Predictions League
know what they’re up against. I’m glad to
report that Frank gained access to a computer
in Thailand and e-mailed his article with just
hours to spare. You can read it on page 24.
If you think you can do better than Frank,
why not enter our Premier Predictions League?
There’s an entry form on page 27, but it’s much
easier on our website, where you can drag &
drop the teams into the position you want. I
think I’ve sorted out all the bugs that plagued
the online entry form last year, but if you have
any problems, let me know straight away and
I’ll do my best to fix it within a day. I haven’t
tried to get the page to work with a mobile
browser yet, so that doesn’t count as a bug.
I’ve fixed the Live Around Amsterdam
Mobile website (I forgot a line of code), so it
should work as originally intended on most
mobile phones now. I’ve also added navigation
to the maps (with a choice of walking, cycling,
driving or taking the tram/bus), so you can’t use
the “I don’t know where it is” excuse any more.
My next website job is to sort something out
for our Photo Competition (see page 5), but for
now, enjoy your Stun.
Andy
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‘The Amsterdam Stun’ is published by:
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Amsterdam
Tel.: 06-28 712 646
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http://www.amsterdamstun.com
If you would like to contribute a story or
even a regular column, don’t be shy: we’re
all amateurs doing our best here.
The following people also contributed to
this edition of the Amsterdam Stun:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Frank Weston
Frank van Hage
John Gregory
Lin Sargent
Rush
Tommy McKeown
The Amsterdam Stun is printed by:
Full Colour BV
www.fullcolour.nl
Page 2
Page Three
Desiree from The End Karaoke is becoming
quite a regular on this page.
Old Quarter barmaid Deborah joked about
being a Page Three Girl - and now she is!
Ester in Partycafé Candela has been in the
Stun before, but this is her Page Three debut.
Nicola from Aberdeen was in Café Corso
with her bridal party, so we had to take a photo.
Page 3
TALES FROM THE
Happy Birthday Adrian, Al, Alan, Amy,
Andy, Ann, Billy, Blom, Brian, Bruno,
Chuara, Danny, Dave, David, Elaine, Finny,
Gary, Gregg, Hans, Hennie, Hester, Jack,
James, Jamie, Jasmina, Jim, Joep, John, Ken,
Kiz, Len, Lenore, Leny, Leo, Marcel, Marie,
Mary, Matilde, Michelle, Mick, Mike, Nicole,
Paul, Ray, Rebecca, Rikki, Roland, Ron, Rory,
Ruben, Sheila, Singh, Tamira, Tommy, Torre,
tRAcY, Trudy, Vicky, Vivienne, Wendy, Zoe.
Happy anniversary Anita & Tim, Nic &
Harriet, Cathy & Chick, Nick & Tina.
Some people found last month’s crossword
a bit hard. Sorry.
Left out the longer words in this one, hope
it will help. Still got a few entries, four, to be
exact. Well done!
When Olle & Nora were here for dinner I
wanted to ask Nora to pick the winner from
the hat, but I completely forgot. So when Olle
dropped in by himself this week, I made him
choose and pose for the picture.
He picked Pat out of the hat, which in Dutch
is called pet (the hat, not Pat!).
Pat won the pitcher of beer & an hour of
pool, from the Poolhole of course. Pat said he
Page 4
GUTTER
will ask Ankie along. She likes pool and she
doesn’t drink beer!
Have fun you two (as always, if you let us
know when, Andy will be there with his camera).
This month the Waterhole donated the prize,
ten shots of Jagermeister! Whoever wins, don’t
drink all ten in one day, or bring some friends.
There’s live music every night.
Last month we had a picture of Hennie on
her scoot-mobile in the sun in the Stun, the first
time in ages. Last week she had an accident
with the same scoot-mobile, really hurt herself
and is at home in bed when we write this.
Now for something completely different!
Lin (British General Stores) sent us this
photograph of a heron on the sidewalk in one
of the busiest streets in Amsterdam (during
market hours!) and said she thought it would
be a good theme for a Photo competition:
“Wild life seen in unusual surroundings, not in
their natural habitat”.
We agree, so Lin and the Stun have been
thinking about the rules & conditions for the
competition. We haven’t got the whole thing
worked out yet, but we do have a prize already!
British General Stores (Lin) donates goodies
from the store for up to one hundred Euros!
Maybe you want to send her a card, or an email. So put your thinking hat on, next month we
If you don’t know her address, send it to the Stun will let you know what you have to do to win
and we’ll pass it on. Get better soon, Hennie! that prize.
The one thing we’ve agreed on already, they
have to be genuine pictures, not doctored, like
Andy did with the cover-photo!
While we’re on wildlife and strange birds;
this weekend will give you ample opportunity
to encounter either (or both), with the Gay
Parade happening.
May the weather be summery, but
remember, there’s no rainbow without rain!
Elly
Page 5
Page 6
Beth worked the day shift in some other
bar and finished in plenty of time to join her
friends for Some Band in the Old Quarter.
Laura behind the bar of the Old Quarter on
a Saturday night? Makes a change from seeing
her around other bars!
The following Saturday night, Robert and
Deborah, the weekend Dynamic Duo, were
back behind the bar together.
Róisín (ex-Old Q, now Hill Street Blues)
dropped in to keep her friend Laura company.
Page 7
Karaoke
There are prizes to be won for singing at the
Thursday night Karaoke in Coco’s Outback, so
hostess Kym gets to introduce some good acts.
Every Tuesday is International Karaoke
Night in Partycafé Candela, hosted by Raluca
and with DJ Juan taking care of the music.
One of the songs Angelique and Sanne sang
was Oops I Did It Again.
Gareth was singing Crazy with his partner’s
daughters Iara and Yasmin.
Lots of Na na na’s on the screen; the girls
from Italy must have been singing Hey Jude!
Page 8
Rocks!
What’s On
Every night is Karaoke Night in The End,
and if you can’t wait ‘til they open at 22:00,
you can book a 3 hour private session for €80.
It was well past midnight when the Malawi
Girls wanted to Heal The World.
Dropped into Molly Malone’s to see Dave
Mullins play and discovered he’s teamed up
with Ermin on lead guitar and together they
are performing as The Guttersnipes. They will
be back in Molly Malone’s on Friday 10th &
Saturday 11th August.
Da da...’s with a couple of La’s thrown in?
It could only be The Proclaimers’ 500 Miles.
Joep Berkenbosch was the latest in a long line
of top musicians to put in a guest appearance
with Some Band in the Old Quarter. Who will
be next? Find out yourself; Some Band play
every Friday & Saturday from 22:30.
Page 9
THE STUN
Monday
Weekly
20:00, Cafe Candela, Re-Plugged Open Mic Night,
22:00, The End, Karaoke, over 40,000 English/
Dutch songs to choose from. Open til 3
22:30, Maloe Melo, Acoustic Session,
with Peter Lavell
22:30, The Waterhole, Michael Strobel,
Jam session with both modern and classic rock.
6th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Live Music, €3
20:00, Molly Malone’s, Pub Quiz, 8 rounds of
brain-teasing questions! €2.50 per person, all
money taken will be given back out in prizes.
13th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Live Music, €3
21:00, The Waterhole, Sirene,
20th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, De Live Karaoke Band, €3
21:00, The Waterhole, Ophelia Syndrome,
27th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, De Live Karaoke Band, €3
Tuesday
Weekly
21:00, Cafe Candela, International Karaoke Night,
An explosive combination of international songs
and funky people from all over the world
22:00, The End, Karaoke, over 40,000 English/
Dutch songs to choose from. Open til 3
22:30, The Waterhole, Rebel Night, with Mark
Tuesday
7th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Magic Gumball &
Open Mic, 4 different acts, inc. Arlette Hovinga,
Violet Class
14th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Magic Gumball &
Open Mic, Matt Woosey, A Girl Named T, Sean
Harper, Biological Lovers, Aloïce
20:00, Coco’s Outback, Pub Quiz, Entry price:
€3, maximum 5 persons to a team. 1st Prize: each
team member gets a €30 voucher to spend at
Cocos. 2nd Prize: 1 x €30 voucher. 3rd Prize: a
bottle of Jagermeister.
21:00, The Waterhole, Sirene,
21st August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Magic Gumball &
Open Mic, 4 different acts
22:00, Bourbon Street, Lamar Chase Band,
Rocking Blues
28th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Magic Gumball &
Open Mic, 4 different acts, inc. Benita Johnson
Wednesday
Weekly
22:00, The End, Karaoke, over 40,000 English/
Dutch songs to choose from. Open til 3
22:30, The Waterhole, One Night Stan Jam
Session, Pop, Rock, Latin Jam with Stan the Man
23:00, Cafe Candela, Salsa Night,
8th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Srdjan’s Jazz Session,
Groove, Post-Post Modern Jazz €3
21:00, The Waterhole, Dinosaurs are still alive,
22:00, Maloe Melo, Ratarsed, Trashed Heroes
(punk), followed by Maarten’s After Midnight
session €5
22:30, The Waterhole, One Night Without Stan
Jam Session, Pop, Rock, Latin Jam with Stan the
Man’s stand-in, Micky Llewelyn
15th August 2012
Jones; make of it what you will, miss it at your peril! 20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, CC Jazz Nights, live music €3
22:00, Maloe Melo, Elephant Bird, followed by
23:30, Maloe Melo, Blues + Rock Session,
Maarten’s After Midnight session €5
with Kevin Chapman
Page 10
GIG-LIST
Wednesday
22nd August 2012
20:00, The Waterhole, Johnny Electric,
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Emiel Wienholts & Franc
auf dem Brincke, CC Jazz Nights €3
20:30, Paradiso, Folk Fusion Festival, with Monty
Pagan, Ibo’s Orchestra, special guests and hosted
by Ken Parsons €7
21:00, The Waterhole, Old Man’s Mill,
22:00, Maloe Melo, Black Volvo (Rock), All Senses
Drowned (Metal/Funk), followed by Maarten’s
After Midnight session €5
29th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Kamyra, jazz session jazz & more €3
20:00, Molly Malone’s, Pub Quiz, 8 rounds of
brain-teasing questions! €2.50 per person, all
money taken will be given back out in prizes.
Booking ahead advised (0611958949) as they
always fill up.
23:30, Maloe Melo, Maarten’s Midnight Session,
Thursday
Weekly
20:00, Cafe Candela, Student Night,
great music, great offers
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Thursday Tunes Jam,
Pop/Rock/Blues/Funk
21:00, Flying Dutchman, DJ Night, Dancing
downstairs in the Dutchman
21:00, Old Nickel, Open Jam with Peter Lavell,
all styles welcome
22:00, Coco’s Outback, Karaoke Competition,
Get a free shot for singing & a chance to win a €30
Coco’s Voucher!
22:00, The End, Karaoke, over 40,000 English/
Dutch songs to choose from. Open til 3
23:00, The Waterhole, Gus Genser’s Rock Jam,
Rock n Roll Jam with former Herman Brood
Drummer Gus Genser
23:30, Maloe Melo, Blues + Rock Session,
with Rahim
16th August 2012
21:00, The Waterhole, Whatever,
21:30, Maloe Melo, Sour Mash, Desperados,
rock/country, rock&roll €5
23rd August 2012
21:00, The Waterhole, Rocktopussy,
21:30, Maloe Melo, Club K, €5
30th August 2012
21:00, The Waterhole, Murming,
21:30, Maloe Melo, Steve Lake (The Zounds)
An acoustic punk & poetry night, GW Sok (The
Ex), 80’s Performance and lecture from Harold
Schellinx, Martijn Haas & Leonor Jonker €5
Page 11
THE STUN
Friday
Friday
10th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Live Music, €5
21:00, The Waterhole, Spinkx,
22:00, Molly Malone’s, The Guttersnipes, singer/
songwriter/guitarists
23:00, Maloe Melo, Moonyard, Americana €5
23:00, The Waterhole, Rockstars,
17th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Fortunate Holders (folk/
pop), Elevator (alternative rock) €5
21:00, The Waterhole, AFC,
22:00, Molly Malone’s, Darren Byrne, lively and
original Irish singer/songwriter/entertainer on tour
23:00, Maloe Melo, Dee’s Honey Tones, rockabilly €5
23:00, The Waterhole, Spit,
24th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Banda Maloca, €5
21:00, The Waterhole, Let’s Go!,
22:00, Molly Malone’s, Andy Humphreys, Irish
singer/entertainer
Live music with Stan van den Busken, Micky
23:00, Maloe Melo, Red Light Rumors, rockabilly/
Llewellyn & Joyce Grimes
psychobilly €5
3rd August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Sean O’Donnell, Acoustic 23:00, The Waterhole, WASTE!!!
31st August 2012
songwriter €5
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Caruru, MPB - Brasileira €5
21:00, The Waterhole, The Dead Ends,
21:00, The Waterhole, Misslate,
22:00, Molly Malone’s, Olly De Quartz,
22:00, Bourbon Street, Lamar Chase Band,
Rocking Blues
22:00, Molly Malone’s, Live Music,
23:00, Maloe Melo, The Silo Drifters, bluegrass
(USA/NL) €5
23:00, The Waterhole, French Waste!!!
Weekly
21:00, Old Nickel, Peter Lavell & his Illegible
Guitbox Banging Gritmoaners, Roots & blues
with grit.
22:00, The End, Karaoke, over 40,000 English/
Dutch songs to choose from. Open til 3
22:30, Old Quarter, Some Band - Unplugged,
These party-starters have been the talk of the town
since they landed in Amsterdam. A night guaranteed
to be one you will always be trying to remember!
23:00, Maloe Melo, Gewoon Fuckin Raggin, Karel
Anker en de Joden, Teenage Tits, punk €5
23:00, The Waterhole, Crazies,
Page 12
GIG-LIST
Saturday
Weekly
21:00, Old Nickel, Live Music, with Top local acts
22:00, The End, Karaoke, over 40,000 English/
Dutch songs to choose from. Open til 3
22:30, Old Quarter, Some Band - Unplugged,
Live music with Stan, Micky & Joyce
4th August 2012
20:00, The Waterhole, The Dirty Pillows,
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Astro Flight (Alternative
rock), Chematic (progressive hardrock), Orion
Lion y los Lautarinos (blues), Sapukai (latin) €5
21:00, The Waterhole, Violet Class,
22:00, Molly Malone’s, Olly De Quartz + Special
Jameson Night! A night guaranteed to be one you
will always be trying to remember!
23:00, Maloe Melo, The Shufflekings, blues €5
23:00, The Waterhole, Fall Eleven,
11th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Live Music, €5
21:00, The Waterhole, 30 past 7,
22:00, Molly Malone’s, The Guttersnipes, singer/
songwriter/guitarists
23:00, Maloe Melo, Fireproof, bluesrock €5
23:00, The Waterhole, Engine,
18th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Amsterdam Saints, Town
of Saints, jazz/funk/rock €5
21:00, The Waterhole, Fall Eleven,
22:00, Molly Malone’s, Darren Byrne, lively and
original Irish singer/songwriter/entertainer on tour
23:00, Maloe Melo, Big Dez, blues €5
23:00, The Waterhole, Rock Divas,
25th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Live Music, €5
21:00, The Waterhole, Onder Voorbehoud,
22:00, Molly Malone’s, Andy Humphreys, Irish
singer/entertainer
23:00, Maloe Melo, Sam Enough, raw bluesrock €5
23:00, The Waterhole, Whatever,
Cheap practice studio for bands,
€5 per hour at Volta,
see www.jcvolta.nl
or phone 020-6826429
Sunday
Weekly
18:00, The Waterhole, Sunday Matinee with The
Mosquitos, A great way to end your weekend or
start your week
22:00, The End, Karaoke, over 40,000 English/
Dutch songs to choose from. Open til 3
22:30, Maloe Melo, Acoustic Session,
with Lamar Chase
22:30, The Waterhole, Joyce Grimes, Jam session
with a mixture of pop rock with a feminine touch
23:00, Cafe Candela, Salsa Night,
5th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Banda Maloca,
Brazilian Night €3
12th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Ελληνικη Μουσικη
Βραδια, Greek Music Jam €3
19th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Petra Jordan, pop/soul €3
26th August 2012
20:00, CC Muziek Cafe, Klezmer, Live music
& party €3
Page 13
ROUND T
A Thursday night in Molly Malone’s, where
Julia had Brian, Steven, Steven, Arwen and
Bob to keep her company.
Ismail was in Coco’s Outback, where Fraser
was in the DJ Booth.
Caspar watched Ajax thrash Celtic, then
went to Susie’s Saloon, where he got into
conversation with Ingrid.
Next door in Coco’s Mine, it came as no
surprise to see Ray behind the decks.
Mark works at Hempworks now, but was
having a beer in Coco’s, his former employer.
Page 14
THE BARS
I’d love to tell you who this is with Phil in
Susie’s Saloon, but I lost the piece of paper
with her name on it.
No gigs for Gareth on Tuesdays; that’s when
he goes to Candela with his partner Suzana to
sing at the Karaoke night.
Nicolette, Yvonne, Marjolein and Joan were
at Finnegans Rainbow’s BBQ Evening.
Celtic fans Steven, Craig, Liam and Michael
didn’t let a 4-0 defeat by Ajax stop them having
a good time in Café Corso.
Page 15
BEHIND
Steve and Gonzo in Susie’s Saloon both
have a Greek connection, so it was hands on
each-others shoulder and dance when Zorba
started blasting out of the sound system.
Amy was showing a bit of shoulder behind
the bar in The End Karaoke.
If this was a competition, Waterhole barman
Robin would be the winner for having a hand
on the shoulder of both Eva and Emily!
Still with the shoulder theme, Steven had a
hand on Michael’s in Molly Malone’s...
And in the Stone’s Café, Natalie’s hand was
resting on Wendy’s shoulder.
Page 16
BARS
Erik, Valentijn and Karol joined Big Franky
and Ricardo behind the bar in De Pul/Pint.
Jo’s offer of a cocktail was very tempting
when I dropped the latest Stun into Coco’s
Outback during the Sunday night Happy Hour,
but I still had a lot of bars to deliver to, so
sadly, I had to decline.
Joey has been at Coco’s for over 7 months,
so it’s about time he appeared in the Stun.
Fritz was behind the bar during the Greek
Music Jam in CC Muziekcafé.
Page 17
Chicken Dinner
The latest Charity Chicken fund-raiser
involved eating chickens in Rodizio.nl and as I
avoid taking photos of people eating, here are
a few from the end of the evening.
Paula and Janet were cooling off outside
with a freshly plucked Chicken Mark.
As the Head of Development & Project
Supervisor of The Charity Chicken Foundation,
it’s down to Pete to clear up afterwards. It’s not
all bad though; he gets to jump out of a plane
over Texel on the 15th September. If you would
Josie won a bottle of vodka; Vince was just like to sponsor (or jump with) the Chickens,
pleased to be out of his Chicken costume.
visit www.thecharitychickenfoundation.com.
A bottle of Jameson’s found its way to the
table of Two Steven’s and Muriel.
Page 18
The Flying Noam
Flying Dutchman boss Noam has a very
friendly nature and likes to be in photos with
whoever’s in the bar when I drop in.
Friends & family of Noam, Ruby and
Warda, were over from Israel for two weeks
and loving the rain in Amsterdam.
Attila presented Noam with a birthday cake,
even though it wasn’t his birthday.
At the bar with Pierre, Anna, Attila and Agi.
This time, it’s Lola, Marianna and Tom who
are at the bar with Noam.
DJs Yoni and Jonathan bring Techno &
Minimal to the Dutchman every Thursday.
Noam was just starting his shift and Tineke
just finishing hers, so I had to take a photo of
them together.
Page 19
Off Stage
Joep was filling in for Stan with Some Band in
the Old Quarter and Micky will be leading Stan’s
Wednesday jam in the Waterhole on the 8th.
Olivia and Amadeu from Olly De Quartz
joined Molly Malone’s regulars Chef, Josie,
Pete and Steve at table 9 during a break.
Dee Dee and David had just finished a gig
with Archie in the Old Nickel and were about
to fly off to Spain.
Lamar and Buddy are not the only musicians
happy to see bass player Mirko back in town.
Waterhole Tuesday session leader Mark was
in the smoking room with day-shift barman
Nils on a Sunday night.
Cees arrived just too late to join in Kevin’s
Tuesday Jam in Maloe Melo.
Page 20
Behind More Bars
For a change, we’ve got Miriam in her
own bar, Mulligans, with long serving barman
Barry, who last appeared in the Stun as a
member of the Creek Bank Ghetto Boys.
Tim and Justin have got what it takes to
work in Coco’s Outback on Karaoke Night.
No news of Jim’s next Joe Rocker gig in
Players yet, but you can always drop in Rick’s
when he’s working and ask.
Laura from the Old Quarter and Albert from
the Old Nickel are in a relationship; it says so
on Laura’s Facebook page.
Page 21
On The
Streets
Susie’s Saloon was the venue for the AfterAfter-Party of an opening at ArTicks Gallery
and Gonzo had the cake to prove it.
Seeing Chef from the Morita-Ya Japanese
restaurant and Andy from the Sea Palace
Chinese restaurant together outside Molly
Malone’s made me think of South Park.
Rauli was outside the Waterhole with Danny,
who thinks this is our first photo of him there;
we usually see him in Finnegan’s Rainbow...
Which is where we saw Henk grilling spareribs on the barbecue outside the bar.
It was a dry summer night on the Outback’s
terrace, with new boy Paul and Mister Coco’s
daughter Amy.
Page 22
A young man meets an older woman at a bar
and they hit it off, she’s 48 and looks good
for her age. On the way home to her house,
he thinks to himself, if she has a daughter, she
must be fit...
As they pull up to her house, she turns to
him and says, “What do you think about a
sportsman’s-double?”
He asks her what that is and she replied, “it’s a
mother and daughter trio.”
He was so excited and agreed straight away, so
she opens her front door and shouts, “MUM,
put yer teeth in… he’s up for it!!!!!”
*****
My Dad was a professional wrestler, which
was good because when he hit us he never
really hurt us.
*****
When I was a kid, people used to cover me in
chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my
head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.
*****
A lot of bad things are said about paedophiles,
but at least they drive slowly past schools.
*****
Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills
at me. Don’t worry; I only suffered super fish
oil injuries.
*****
I was in a London pub on a Saturday night.
Had a few drinks! I noticed two very large
women by the bar. They both had strong
accents, so I asked, “Hey, are you two ladies
from Scotland?”
One of them turned to me and screamed, “It’s
WALES, you IDIOT!”
So, I immediately apologized and said, “Sorry,
are you two whales from Scotland?”
That’s all I remember!!
*****
Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A
Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
JOKES
With our Jokers: Rush & Tommy
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, ‘Can
you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San
Francisco to New York City?’
The agent replies, ‘Just a minute.’
‘Thank you,’ the blonde says, and hangs up.
*****
A man is recovering from surgery when the
nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
‘I’m O. K. But I didn’t like the four letterwords the doctor used in surgery,’ he answered.
‘What did he say,’ asked the nurse.
‘Oops!’
*****
While shopping for vacation clothes, my
husband and I passed a display of bathing
suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty
pounds since I had even considered buying a
bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s advice.
‘What do you think?’ I asked. ‘Should I get a
bikini or an all-in-one?’
‘Better get a bikini,’ he replied. ‘You’d never
get it all in one.’
He’s still in intensive care.
*****
The graveside service just barely finished,
when there was a tremendous bolt of lightning
followed by massive clap of thunder,
accompanied by even more thunder rumbling
in the distance...
The little old man looked at the pastor and
calmly said, ‘Well, she’s there.’
*****
A fat girl served me in McDonald’s today.
She said ‘sorry about the wait.’ I said, ‘Don’t
worry, you’ll find a way to lose it eventually.’
*****
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love
the days when you could look at an unattended
bag on a train or bus and think to yourself...
‘I’m going to take that.’
Page 23
The new football season is almost upon
us and it is time once again for the Premier
Prediction League. Year on year, the enthusiasm
for this competition increases and I fully expect
this to continue - especially as there are now
some very worthwhile prizes to be had!
So let’s get the football rolling with what I
think is going to happen...
20. NORWICH: They
often say the second season is
more challenging that the first
and with this in mind, and the
fact that they have changed
their manager, I think they
will seriously struggle this
time.
19. STOKE CITY: They
have been in the top flight
for some time now, but every
season they rely much more
on their defensive strengths,
rather than their attacking
options. This could be the
season when the Potters
struggle to go the distance.
18. SOUTHAMPTON: Back up in the top
flight once again, but their speedy return to the
Page 24
top flight might have arrived a bit too soon.
They always seem to entertain and they will
go down fighting.
17 Q.P.R.: Mark Hughes performed minor
miracles keeping them afloat last time around.
I think he will have learned a lot from that
experience and although it will be another long
hard slog, I think they have
enough in their locker to just
stay clear of the relegation
trio.
16. SWANSEA: Along
with Norwich, they were very
much the surprise package of
last season and I think they
have what it takes to steer
clear of major trouble once
again.
15.WEST BROM: They
still have enough quality to
finish safely, but like a few
other teams in this segment
of the league, they won’t find
it plain sailing.
14. READING: They made it to the Elite
League with a fantastic run of form in the
Championship and I fully expect them to hold
their own here too.
13. SUNDERLAND: You can never
really imagine Martin O’Neill in the throws
of a relegation battle and his aim must be to
consolidate and improve steadily. I think they
have enough talent in their ranks to steer well
clear of any relegation battle.
12. FULHAM: At home, they are a lethal
force and with this in mind, they should be
able to collect enough points to finish in a
respectable position.
11. WIGAN: Every year they are strongly
fancied for the drop and every year they
manage to surprise the football pundits. They
proved at the back end of last season that they
have enough quality in the squad to go the
distance and I expect them to not only avoid
the drop, but also end up mid-table this time,
which would be a staggering achievement for
a club of this size.
10. EVERTON: Losing Cahill is a big blow.
They still have quality in abundance, but I
think they might struggle to make any inroads
on the leading pack this time around.
9. WEST HAM: Sam Allardyce has enough
footy knowledge to keep them safe. More
than that, they become the surprise package
this season. Remember folks, there is always
one and he has assembled a squad with
considerable talent in all departments.
8. ASTON VILLA: Could finally find some
lasting form this time around and if they can
perform consistently well, then a top half
finish is very much to be expected.
7. NEWCASTLE: They really performed
admirably last season and they certainly have
the right ingredients in their squad to sustain a
serious challenge throughout.
6. SPURS: Hopefully, this will be enough to
keep Villa Boa in his job, but much depends, I
guess, on what Chelsea and Arsenal do.
5. CHELSEA: They may find it hard going
this time around. Losing Drogba is a major
blow.
4. LIVERPOOL: If they finish fourth and
secure a Champions League place, this will be
a major achievement, given their disappointing
league performances of late.
3. ARSENAL: I think Arse Wenger is
building another successful team slowly but
surely and third spot is well within their grasp.
2. MANCHESTER UNITED: Under sir
Alex, you can never write them off, but I think
they will find, once again, their arch rivals
from the other side of Manchester just have
the edge.
1. MANCHESTER CITY: And once again,
the title goes Man City! They waited long
enough for it and now there is simply no
stopping them!
Frank
Page 25
IN THE BACK
Wee Olaf, ‘the biggest Celtic supporter in
Amsterdam,’ was outside the Stone’s Café
with Polly, Wee Craigy, Jimmy and Ivo.
Captain America, alias Brad from
Partykings, was in The End, so we had to get a
photo of him with Gabriel.
Being a rugby bar, Café Corso expects their
male customers to behave gentlemanly when
there are ladies in the bar.
We didn’t make it to Matt’s daughter
Millie’s 1st Birthday BBQ, but Andy did, so
here’s a photo of them a week later in Hunters.
Page 26
Premier Predictions
League 2012-2013
Sponsored by Coco’s Outback
All you have to do is fill in where you think
all 20 teams in the English Premier League
will finish at the end of the season. For every
position you have correct, you score 3 points.
If you are only one place off, it’s worth 1 point.
The contestant with the most points wins the
prize; 2 x €30 vouchers from Coco’s Outback,
with ties decided on the most correct places.
Team
Arsenal
Aston Villa
Chelsea
Everton
Fulham
Liverpool
Manchester City
Manchester United
Newcastle United
Norwich City
Queens Park Rangers
Reading
Southampton
Stoke City
Sunderland
Swansea City
Tottenham Hotspur
West Bromwich Albion
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Wigan Athletic
Position
Name:........................................
Supporter of:............................
Address:....................................
...................................................
Give to: Andy Reeves or Frank Weston
Fax: 0842-114 347
E-mail: info@amsterdamstun.com
Online: www.amsterdamstun.com
Closing date: Friday 17th August 2012
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Page 27
Stun Prize Crossword
Sponsored by
The Waterhole
Across
8: Thus. (4)
9; Mistake. (5)
10:Fencing material. (4)
11:Use yours to finish this
crossword! (6)
12:Win over. (8)
13:Find a way. (8)
15:Calm. (6)
17:Troubles. (7)
19:A state of spinning chaos,
or where to keep a nag? (6)
22:Disagreement. (6)
24:Bogey men. (7)
26:Subsidising. (8)
28:Belgian broadcaster. (6)
30:Go away! (4)
31:Awards. (5)
32:Finishes. (4)
Down
1: A small crowd? (4)
2: Hard ones. (8)
3: Rupture. (6)
4: Soldier. (7)
5: Disagrees. (8)
6: Better. (6)
7: Famous Dame Myra, or
infamous Rudolf. (4)
14:Anticipate. (5)
16:It used to be worth 100
Stotin. (5)
18:Late shifts. (8)
20:Escorted. (8)
21:Visualise. (7)
23:Dreams. (6)
25:Sweetest. (6)
27:Wind instrument. (4)
29:The Stun editor. (4)
Page 28
This month’s Prize Crossword is sponsored by The Waterhole, Korte
Leidsedwarsstraat 49, who have generously donated a 10 shots of
Jagermeister for the winner. All you have to do is put the letters in
the shaded squares into the 2nd grid in the same order they appear to
reveal the answer. E-mail your answer, with name & contact details,
to puzzle@stun.nl or SMS 0628712646 to arrive no later than Friday
24th August 2012. The winner will be drawn from all correct entries
and announced in the next edition of the Amsterdam Stun.
Last Month’s Answers
No one gossips about other people’s virtues!
Across: 1 Nonconformists, 10 Ogler, 11 Footnotes, 12 Exposer, 13 Essence,
14 Abled, 16 Outbursts, 19 Hostesses, 20 Error, 22 Support, 25 Learned,
27 Liver-spot, 28 Acorn, 29 Rushed repolish.
Down: 2 Oil spills, 3 Cords, 4 Nefarious, 5 Ozone, 6 Mint sauce, 7 Satin,
8 Systems, 9 Novena, 15 Due course, 17 To split up, 18 Strenuous, 19 Hassler,
21 Rodent, 23 Paves, 24 Taper, 26 Avail.
And the winner is: Pat Jenkins, who takes home
A Pitcher of beer & 1 hour of Pool generously donated by The Poolhole.