Oakland County Domestic Violence Handbook

Oakland County
Domestic Violence Handbook
Produced by Oakland County Coordinating Council Against Domestic Violence
Another Woman
Today another woman died
and not on a foreign field
and not with a rifle strapped to her back,
and not with a large defense of tanks
rumbling and rolling behind her.
She died without CNN covering her war.
She died without talk of intelligent bombs
and strategic targets
The target was simply her face, her back
her pregnant belly.
The target was her precious flesh
That was once composed like music
in her mother's body and sung
in the anthem of birth.
listened
Another woman died today.
not far from where you live;
Just there, next door where the tall light
falls across the pavement.
Just there, a few steps away
Where you’ve often heard shouting,
Another woman died today.
She was the same girl
Her mother used to kiss;
the same child you dreamed
beside in school.
The same baby her parents
walked in the night with
And listened and listened and
For her cries even while they slept.
The target was this life
that had lived its own dear wildness,
had been loved and not loved,
had danced and not danced.
A life like yours or mine
that had stumbled up
from a beginning
and had learned to walk
and had learned to read.
and had learned to sing.
And someone has confused his rage
With this woman’s only life.
- Carol Geneya Kaplan
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION .................................................................................1
DEFINITION .........................................................................................2
COMMON MYTHS ...............................................................................3
WHO ARE THE VICTIMS? ..................................................................5
WHO ARE THE ABUSERS? ................................................................8
WHAT IS ABUSE? - A WARNING LIST ............................................9
VIOLENCE WHEEL ...........................................................................10
CYCLE OF VIOLENCE .....................................................................11
WHAT CAN I DO TO BE SAFE? ......................................................12
PERSONAL SAFETY PLAN ..............................................................14
QUESTIONS ABOUT LEAVING.......................................................17
PERSONAL PROTECTION ORDERS – PPOs .................................18
TELEPHONE NUMBERS ..................................................................21
IN OAKLAND COUNTY ............................................................21
OUTSIDE OF OAKLAND COUNTY .........................................22
FOR THE ABUSER .....................................................................24
WEBSITE RESOURCES ....................................................................25
Note: You do not have to read this entire booklet at once! Go to the section
that you are interested in - each part can stand alone.
Revised: October 2003
INTRODUCTION
Domestic violence should not happen to anybody. Ever. Period. But it does and when it does, there is help. Maybe you have lived with abuse, maybe it
happened just once; maybe you work or live next to someone who is being
abused right now. Whoever you are, this book can show you how and where to
get help.
In 1994, 1995, and again in 2000, Michigan changed the laws that deal with
domestic violence to make it easier for the victims of abuse to get protection
through the legal system.
We have tried to include information to help you get support and plan for your
safety.
If this booklet applies to you, you just need to remember two things: first, abuse
is never okay; second, you are not alone. Help is yours for the asking.
If you know someone whom you think is being abused - a friend, family
member, co-worker, client, patient or parishioner - please consider contacting
one of the agencies listed below to discuss ways to safely help them.
COMMON GROUND SANCTUARY
HAVEN
WOMEN’S SURVIVAL CENTER
(248) 456-0909
(248) 334-1274
(248) 335-1520
If you would like additional copies of this handbook, please contact:
Oakland County Coordinating Council Against Domestic Violence
1410 South Telegraph
Bloomfield Hills, MI 48302
Phone: (248) 456-8158 ext. 210
Fax: (248) 292-5294
The contents of this book can also be found on our website:
www.domesticviolence.org
1
DEFINITION
Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a
relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married;
heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.
Examples of abuse include:
• name-calling or putdowns
• keeping a partner from contacting their family or friends
• withholding money
• stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job
• actual or threatened physical harm
• sexual assault
• stalking
• intimidation
Violence can be criminal and includes physical assault (hitting, pushing,
shoving, etc.), sexual abuse (unwanted or forced sexual activity), and stalking.
Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal
behaviors, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence.
The violence takes many forms and can happen all the time or once in a while.
An important step to help yourself or someone you know in preventing or
stopping violence is recognizing the warning signs listed on the “Violence
Wheel.”
ANYONE CAN BE A VICTIM! Victims can be of any age, sex, race, culture,
religion, education, employment or marital status. Although both men and
women can be abused, most victims are women. Children in homes where there
is domestic violence are more likely to be abused and/or neglected. Most
children in these homes know about the violence. Even if a child is not
physically harmed, they may have emotional and behavior problems.
If you are being abused, REMEMBER
• You are not alone
• It is not your fault
• Help is available
2
COMMON MYTHS AND WHY THEY ARE WRONG
“Domestic violence is not a problem in my community.”
•
Michigan State Police records from 1997 show that a woman is
killed by a partner or former partner about once a week in Michigan.
•
In 1998, the Michigan State Police reported more than 5,000 victims
of domestic violence in Oakland County.
“Domestic violence only happens to poor women and women of color.”
•
Domestic violence happens in all kinds of families and relationships.
Persons of any class, culture, religion, sexual orientation, marital
status, age, and sex can be victims or perpetrators of domestic
violence.
“Some people deserve to be hit.”
•
No one deserves to be abused. Period. The only person responsible
for the abuse is the abuser.
•
Physical violence, even among family members, is wrong and
against the law.
“Alcohol, drug abuse, stress, and mental illness cause domestic violence.”
•
Alcohol use, drug use, and stress do not cause domestic violence;
they may go along with domestic violence, but they do not cause the
violence. Abusers often say they use these excuses for their
violence. (Michigan Judicial Institute, Domestic Violence
Benchbook, 1998, p. 1.6 – 1.7)
•
Generally, domestic violence happens when an abuser has learned
and chooses to abuse. (Michigan Judicial Institute, Domestic
Violence Benchbook, 1998, p. 1-5)
3
•
Domestic violence is rarely caused by mental illness but it is often
used as an excuse for domestic violence. (Michigan Judicial
Institute, Domestic Violence Benchbook, 1998, p. 1-8)
“Domestic violence is a personal problem between a husband and a wife.”
•
Domestic violence affects everyone
•
About 1 in 3 American women have been physically or sexually
abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives.
(Commonwealth Fund, Health Concerns Across a Woman’s
Lifespan: the Commonwealth Fund 19998 Survey of Women’s
Health, 1999)
•
In 1996, 30% of all female murder victims were killed by their
husbands or boyfriends. (Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1997)
•
40% to 60% of men who abuse women also abuse children
(American Psychological Association, Violence and the Family,
1996)
“If it were that bad, she would just leave.”
•
There are many reasons why women may not leave. Not leaving
does not mean that the situation is okay or that the victim wants to be
abused.
•
Leaving can be dangerous. The most dangerous time for a woman
who is being abused is when she tries to leave. (United States
Department of Justice, National Crime Victim Survey, 1995)
•
MANY VICTIMS DO LEAVE AND LEAD SUCCESSFUL,
VIOLENCE-FREE LIVES.
4
WHO ARE THE VICTIMS?
ANYONE CAN BE A VICTIM! Victims can be of any age, sex, race, culture,
religion, education, employment or marital status. Although both men and
women can be abused, most victims are women. Children in homes where there
is domestic violence are more likely to be abused and/or neglected. Most
children in these homes know about the violence. Even if a child is not
physically harmed, they may have emotional and behavior problems.
Since abuse can happen to anyone, people can have special concerns. All
resources listed in this book understand your special concerns. They will
listen to you and treat you with respect.
If you are a person of color, you may be afraid of prejudice. You may be
afraid of being blamed for going out of your community for help.
If you are a lesbian, gay, or transgendered person, you may be afraid of
having people know about your sexual orientation.
If you are physically or mentally challenged or elderly, you may depend on
your abuser to care for you. You may not have other people to help you.
If you are a male victim of abuse, you may be ashamed and scared that no one
will believe you.
If you are from another country, you may be afraid of being deported.
If your religion makes it hard to get help, you may feel like you have to stay
and not break up the family.
If you are a teen, you could be a victim of abuse, or at risk if you are dating
someone who:
• is very jealous and/or spies on you
• will not let you break off the relationship
• hurts you in any way, is violent, or brags about hurting other people
• puts you down or makes you feel bad
• forces you to have sex or makes you afraid to say no to sex
• abuses drugs or alcohol; pressures you to use drugs or alcohol
• has a history of bad relationships and blames it on others
5
It is hard for teens to leave their abuser if they go to the same school. They
cannot hide. Gay and lesbian teens are very isolated. They can be scared they
may have to reveal their sexual orientation.
If you think you are being abused, think about getting help. If your family or
friends warn you about the person you are dating, think about getting help. Tell
friends, family members or anybody you can trust. Call a resource listed in this
book. There is help for you. You do not have to suffer in silence
If you are a child in a violent home . . .
Most children in these homes know about the violence. Parents may think
children do not know about the violence, but most of the time they do. Children
often know what happened. They can feel helpless, scared and upset. They may
also feel like the violence is their fault.
Violence in the home is dangerous for children. Children live with scary noises,
yelling and hitting. They are afraid for their parents and themselves. Children
feel bad that they cannot stop the abuse. If they try to stop the fight, they can be
hurt. They can also be hurt by things that are thrown or weapons that are used.
Children are harmed just by seeing and hearing the violence.
Children in violent homes may not get the care they need. A parent who is
being abused may be in too much pain to take good care of their child.
Children who live in violent homes can have many problems. They can have
trouble sleeping. They can have trouble in school and getting along with others.
They often feel sad and scared all the time. They may grow up feeling bad
about themselves. These problems do not go away on their own. They can be
there even as the child gets older.
There is help for children in violent homes. Call a resource listed in this book to
talk to someone. This can also help if you grew up in a violent home.
If you are being stalked . . .
Stalking is repeated harassment that makes you feel scared or upset. A stalker
can be someone you know or a stranger. They often bother people by giving
them attention they do not want. This can be unwanted phone calls or gifts, or
following people by going to where they work or live. It can also be threats to
you or your family.
6
People may think stalking is not dangerous because no one has been physically
hurt. Stalking is serious. It is against the law. It often turns to physical
violence.
There is help. Go to page 19 to find out how to get a Personal Protection Order
(PPO). You can also tell the police. You can make a case by keeping track of
what the stalker does by:
• telling the police every time the stalker makes contact with you
• keeping a book with you at all times so that you can write down the
stalkers contacts
• saving phone messages from the stalker
• saving letters and gifts from the stalker
• writing down information about the stalker, like the way they look,
kind of car they drive and license plate number
Stalking is a crime.
If you want more information about how to get help, call:
HAVEN
(248) 334-1274 (24 hours)
Common Ground Sanctuary
(248) 456-0909 (24 hours)
7
WHO ARE THE ABUSERS?
Abusers are not easy to spot. There is no ‘typical’ abuser. In public, they may
appear friendly and loving to their partner and family. They often only abuse
behind closed doors. They also try to hide the abuse by causing injuries that can
be hidden and do not need a doctor.
Abuse is not an accident. It does not happen because someone was stressed-out,
drinking, or using drugs. Abuse is an intentional act that one person uses in a
relationship to control the other. Abusers have learned to abuse so that they can
get what they want. The abuse may be physical, sexual, emotional, and
psychological.
Abusers often have low self-esteem. They do not take responsibility for their
actions. They may even blame the victim for causing the violence. In most
cases, men abuse female victims. It is important to remember that women can
also be abusers and men can be victims.
8
WHAT IS ABUSE - A WARNING LIST
Many people who are being abused do not see themselves as victims. Also,
abusers do not see themselves as being abusive. People often think of domestic
violence as physical violence, such as hitting. However, domestic violence
takes other forms, such as psychological, emotional, or sexual abuse.
Domestic violence is about one person in a relationship using a pattern of
behaviors to control the other person. It can happen to people who are married
or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated, or
dating.
If your partner repeatedly uses one or more of the following to control you;
• pushing, hitting, slapping, choking, kicking, or biting
• threatening you, your children, other family members or pets
• threatening suicide to get you to do something
• using or threatening to use a weapon against you
• keeping or taking your paycheck
• puts you down or makes you feel bad
• forcing you to have sex or to do sexual acts you do not want or like
• keeping you from seeing your friends, family or from going to work
YOU HAVE BEEN ABUSED!!
Remember threatened or actual physical violence may be illegal.
Consider calling the police for help.
9
VIOLENCE WHEEL
The chart below is a way of looking at the behaviors abusers use to get and keep
control in their relationships. Battering is a choice. It is used to gain power and
control over another person. Physical abuse is only one part of a system of
abusive behaviors. Abuse is never a one-time event.
This chart uses the wheel to show the relationship of physical abuse to other
forms of abuse. Each part shows a way to control or gain power.
DOMESTIC ABUSE INTERVENTION PROJECT
202 East Superior Street
Duluth, Minnesota 55802
218.722.2781
10
CYCLE OF VIOLENCE
Incident
• Any type of abuse occurs
(physical/sexual/emotional)
Tension Building
‘Making-Up’
• Abuser starts to get angry
• Abuse may begin
• There is a breakdown
of communication
• Victims feels the need
to keep the abuser calm
• Tension becomes too much
• Victim feels like they are
‘walking on egg shells’
• Abuser may apologize
for abuse
• Abuser may promise it
will never happen again
• Abuser may blame the
victim for causing the
abuse
• Abuser may deny abuse
took place or say it was not as bad
as the victim claims
Calm
• Abuser acts like the abuse never happened
• Physical abuse may not be taking place
• Promises made during ‘making-up’ may
be met
• Victim may hope that the abuse is over
• Abuser may give gifts to victim
The cycle can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship. Each stage
lasts a different amount of time in a relationship. The total cycle can take
anywhere from a few hours to a year or more to complete.
It is important to remember that not all domestic violence relationships fit the
cycle. Often, as time goes on, the ‘making-up’ and ‘calm’ stages disappear.
Adapted from original concept of:
Walker, Lenore. The Battered Woman. New York: Harper and Row, 1979.
11
WHAT CAN I DO TO BE SAFE?
Call the police
If you feel you are in danger from your abuser at any time, you can call
911 or your local police. HAVEN may be able to provide you with a
cell phone that is programmed to only call 911. These phones are for
when you need to call the police and cannot get to any other phone.
Consider the following:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
If you are in danger when the police come, they can protect you.
They can help you and your children leave your home safely.
They can arrest your abuser when they have enough proof that you
have been abused.
They can arrest your abuser if a personal protection order (PPO)
has been violated.
When the police come, tell them everything the abuser did that
made you call.
If you have been hit, tell the police where. Tell them how many
times it happened. Show them any marks left on your body.
Marks may take time to show up. If you see a mark after the
police leave, call the police to take pictures of the marks. They
may be used in court.
If your abuser has broken any property, show the police.
The police can give you information on domestic violence
programs and shelters.
The police must make a report saying what happened to you.
Police reports can be used in court if your abuser is charged with a
crime.
Get the officers’ names, badge numbers, and the report number in
case you need a copy of the report.
A police report can be used to help you get a PPO.
Get support from friends and family
Tell your supportive family, friends and co-workers what has happened.
12
Find a safe place
It is not fair. You should not have to leave your home because of what
your abuser has done. But sometimes it is the only way you will be
safe. There are shelters that can help you move to a different city or
state. HAVEN can put you in touch with them.
Get medical help
If you have been hurt, go to the hospital or your doctor. Domestic
violence advocates (people to help you) may be called to the hospital.
They are there to give you support. You may ask medical staff to call
one for you.
Medical records can be important in court cases. They can also help
you get a PPO. Give all the information about your injuries and who
hurt you that you feel safe to give.
Special medical concerns
• Sometimes you may not even know you are hurt.
• What seems like a small injury could be a big one.
• If you are pregnant and you were hit in your stomach, tell the
doctor. Many abusers hurt unborn children.
• Domestic violence victims can be in danger of closed head
injuries. This is because their abusers often hit them in the head.
If any of these things happen after a hit to the head, get medical
care right away.
Memory loss
Dizziness
Problems with eyesight
Throwing-up
Headache that will not go away
Get a personal protection order
See page 18.
Make a safety plan
Plan what to do before or when you feel unsafe.
13
PERSONALIZED SAFETY PLAN
Your safety is the most important thing. Listed below are tips to help keep you
safe. The resources in this book can help you to make a safety plan that works
best for you. It is important to get help with your safety plan. Many of the
resources listed in this book can help you.
HAVEN may be able to provide you with a cell phone that is programmed to
only call 911. These phones are for when you need to call the police and cannot
get to any other phone.
If you are in an abusive relationship, think about . . .
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Having important phone numbers nearby for you and your
children. Numbers to have are the police, hotlines, friends and the
local shelter.
Friends or neighbors you could tell about the abuse. Ask them to
call the police if they hear angry or violent noises. If you have
children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word that
you can use when you need help.
How to get out of your home safely. Practice ways to get out.
Safer places in your home where there are exits and no weapons.
If you feel abuse is going to happen try to get your abuser to one of
these safer places.
Any weapons in the house. Think about ways that you could get
them out of the house.
Even if you do not plan to leave, think of where you could go.
Think of how you might leave. Try doing things that get you out
of the house - taking out the trash, walking the pet or going to the
store. Put together a bag of things you use everyday (see the
checklist on the next page). Hide it where it is easy for you to get.
Going over your safety plan often.
If you consider leaving your abuser, think about . . .
1.
2.
3.
Four places you could go if you leave your home.
People who might help you if you left. Think about people who
will keep a bag for you. Think about people who might lend you
money. Make plans for your pets.
Keeping change for phone calls or getting a cell phone.
14
4.
5.
6.
7.
Opening a bank account or getting a credit card in your name.
How you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the
house - taking out the trash, walking the family pet, or going to the
store. Practice how you would leave.
How you could take your children with you safely. There are
times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives
in danger. You need to protect yourself to be able to protect your
children.
Putting together a bag of things you use everyday. Hide it where it
is easy for you to get.
ITEMS TO TAKE, IF POSSIBLE






Children (if it is safe)
Money
Keys to car, house, work
Extra clothes
Medicine
Important papers for you and your children
 Birth certificates
 Social security cards
 School and medical records
 Bankbooks, credit cards
 Driver’s license
 Car registration
 Welfare identification
 Passports, green cards, work permits
 Lease/rental agreement
 Mortgage payment book, unpaid bills
 Insurance papers
 PPO, divorce papers, custody orders
 Address book
 Pictures, jewelry, things that mean a lot to you
 Items for your children (toys, blankets, etc.)
8.
Think about reviewing your safety plan often.
15
If you have left your abuser, think about . . .
1.
2.
Your safety - you still need to.
Getting a cell phone. HAVEN may be able to provide you with a
cell phone that is programmed to only call 911. These phones are
for when you need to call the police and cannot get to any other
phone.
3. Getting a PPO from the court. Keep a copy with you all the time.
Give a copy to the police, people who take care of your children,
their schools and your boss.
4. Changing the locks. Consider putting in stronger doors, smoke and
carbon monoxide detectors, a security system and outside lights.
5. Telling friends and neighbors that your abuser no longer lives with
you. Ask them to call the police if they see your abuser near your
home or children.
6. Telling people who take care of your children the names of people
who are allowed to pick them up. If you have a PPO protecting
your children, give their teachers and babysitters a copy of it.
7. Telling someone at work about what has happened. Ask that
person to screen your calls. If you have a PPO that includes where
you work, consider giving your boss a copy of it and a picture of
the abuser. Think about and practice a safety plan for your
workplace. This should include going to and from work.
8. Not using the same stores or businesses that you did when you
were with your abuser.
9. Someone that you can call if you feel down. Call that person if
you are thinking about going to a support group or workshop.
10. Safe way to speak with your abuser if you must.
11. Going over your safety plan often.
Warning: Abusers try to control their victim’s lives. When abusers feel a loss
of control - like when victims try to leave them - the abuse often gets worse.
Take special care when you leave. Keep being careful even after you have left.
This section on personalized safety planning adapted from the Metro Nashville
Police Department’s personalized safety plan.
16
MANY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIMS ASK THESE
QUESTIONS ABOUT LEAVING.
Can I take my children with me when I leave?
• Yes. If you can do it safely, take them with you. It may be harder to
get them later on. But, there are times when taking your children
with you may put all your lives in danger. You need to protect
yourself to be able to protect your children.
• This is important!! Go to court and get legal custody of your
children right away!! Many of the resources in this book may help
you.
• If your children are not with you, it may be hard to get legal custody
of them later. The parent that has the children with her/him may
have a better chance of getting legal custody.
• Your abuser may try to kidnap or hurt the children to get you back.
Where do I go?
• Stay with friends or family.
• If you are a woman, staying with a man who is not a family member
could hurt your chances of getting legal custody of your children.
• If you are a man, staying with a woman who is not a family member
could hurt your chances of getting legal custody of your children.
• If you are in a relationship, staying with that person could hurt your
chances of getting custody of your children.
• Go to a shelter (like HAVEN) with your children. The staff there
can work to get all kinds of help for you and your children.
• Or call 911 because it is a good start.
17
PERSONAL PROTECTION ORDERS - PPOs
What is a personal protection order?
A personal protection order, or PPO, is an order issued by the Circuit Court. It
can protect you from being hit, threatened, harassed, or stalked by another
person. The PPO may also stop someone from coming into your home or
bothering you at work. It can stop them from buying a firearm or finding your
address through school records. It can also stop them from taking your minor
children unless required by the court.
Where can I get a PPO?
You can get the forms at the Juvenile Intake Office on the ground floor of the
Oakland County Courthouse at 1200 North Telegraph Road in Pontiac. The
Women's Survival Center's PPO Assistance Office, located at the Juvenile
Intake Office, can help you fill out the forms.
Who can get a PPO?
• Anyone who has been physically, emotionally or sexually abused or
threatened by someone they have been married to, lived with, have a
child with, or dated. Some examples may include: a current or former
spouse, family member, partner, other parent of your child, current or
former roommate, or current or former person you have dated.
• Anyone who has been stalked. Stalking is repeated harassment that makes
you feel scared or upset. A stalker can be someone you know or a stranger.
They often bother people by giving them attention they do not want. This
can be unwanted phone calls or gifts, or following people by going to where
they work or live. It can also be threats to you or your family.
What should I bring?
• A letter telling the court what has been going on. Make sure to tell them
everything. Include dates and details the best you can.
• Police reports, medical records, photographs, or witnesses if you can get
them.
18
• Any information about the abuser - current address, date of birth or age,
hair color, eye color, height, weight, address, Social Security number, or
driver’s license number.
• Any court papers you have if you can get them. For example, custody
and/or parenting time orders, lease agreement, divorce papers, or criminal
case records.
What should I expect when I get there?
1.
There is no cost to file a PPO.
2.
It may take up to a half day to have a judge review your request. Please
be at the Courthouse no later than 2:00 p.m.
3.
The Juvenile Intake Office has the PPO forms. They will direct you to
the PPO Assistance Office where staff can help you fill out the forms.
4.
If there is any information you would like to be kept private, such as your
address, do not include it when filling out your forms. Ask the Court
Clerk for a confidential address form.
5.
Once you complete the forms, a Deputy Clerk in the County Clerk’s
Office will look them over and give you a judge and a case number.
They will ask you about any other cases either of you may have.
6.
You will then meet with a referee (attorney). They will review your
forms, ask you questions, and report to the judge.
7.
You will then go to the judge’s office to meet with the judge’s clerk. The
judge and/or clerk may ask you more questions. The judge will review
your request and either sign your order, set it for a hearing, or deny it.
8.
Take the paperwork to the Clerk’s Office on the ground floor for filing.
If the judge has signed the order, the County Clerk will give you copies
of the order. The order will be put into a computer system that lets the
police know there is a PPO.
9.
If a hearing has been set, the Clerk will explain how to ‘serve’ the
paperwork.
19
10. The PPO is in effect as soon as the judge signs it. The court may have
problems enforcing the PPO if the abuser has not been served. The
abuser must be served with copies of everything you file with the Clerk’s
Office. The PPO Assistance Office can explain this to you.
11. You must file a Proof of Service form with the Clerk’s Office. The court
may have problems enforcing the PPO if Proof of Service is not in the
court file.
12. You do not have to let the abuser in your home because a court order says
he/she can see the children. You can make other plans, such as having a
friend or family member pick up and drop off the children. Or you can
also meet at a police station or other public place. You may also ask for
supervised parenting time through the court when you file your PPO.
13. If you want your PPO removed, you must return to the courthouse where
the PPO was given. You cannot change or remove the PPO by saying
you no longer want the PPO. Only the court can change or remove a
PPO. The abuser can be arrested for violating the PPO until it expires or
until the court removes the order. An abuser violates the order if he does
something the PPO does not allow. Do not agree to anything the PPO
restricts, or invite the abuser to violate the PPO until the PPO expires or
the court changes the PPO.
14. CARRY A COPY OF YOUR PPO WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES!!
This will help police enforce the PPO if there is a violation.
For help with PPOs in Oakland County, call the
Women’s Survival Center PPO Assistance Office at
(248) 975-9511.
Remember, while PPOs do work,
it is important to be careful and have a safety plan.
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Resources - Oakland County
Counseling for Survivors & Crisis Intervention
Arab American and Chaldean Council
(248) 559-1991
AT&T Language Line
(800) 996-8808 (24hrs) toll-free
(provides translations for 140 languages for a fee)
Common Ground Sanctuary
(800) 231-1127 (24hrs) toll-free
(248) 456-0909 (24hrs)
El Centro “La Familia”
(248) 229-0848 (24hrs)
(248) 858-5320
HAVEN
(877) 922-1274 (24hrs) toll free
(248) 334-1290 (24hrs) TTY
(248) 334-1274 (24hrs)
Jewish Family Service
(248) 559-1500
Women’s Survival Center Helpline
(248) 335-1520
Shelters
HAVEN
(877) 922-1274 (24hrs) toll free
(248) 334-1290 (24hrs) TTY
(248) 334-1274 (24hrs)
Jewish Family Service
(248) 559-1500
(Kosher shelter)
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Legal Advice & Legal Representation
Council and Advocacy Lawline
(888) 783-8190 toll-free
(M, T, Th, F 9a-3p; W 12p-6p)
Legal Aid & Defender
(313) 964-4700
(M 2p-4p)
Oakland County Prosecutor’s Office, Domestic Violence Section
(248) 858-5569
(there may be limits to confidentiality)
Women’s Survival Center PPO Assistance
(248) 975-9511
Legal Clinics
Common Ground Sanctuary
(800) 231-1127 (24hrs) toll-free
(248) 456-0909 (24hrs)
Oakland Community College Womencenter
(248) 522-3642
Women’s Survival Center Helpline
(248) 335-1520
Resources - Outside Oakland County
General Information & Referral Sources
Michigan Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
(517) 347-7000
Michigan Domestic Violence Prevention and Treatment Board
(517) 373-8144
National Domestic Violence Hotline
(800) 799-SAFE (7233) (24hrs) toll-free
(800) 787-3224 toll-free TTY
(offers AT&T Language Line service free to victims)
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Counseling for Survivors, Crisis Intervention, & Shelters
Domestic Violence Project, Inc. (Washtenaw County)
(734) 995-5444 (24hrs)
Family Counseling and Shelter Services (Monroe County)
(734) 242-SAFE (7233) (24hrs)
First Step, Inc. (Downriver & Western Wayne County)
(888) 453-5900 (24hrs) toll-free
LACASA (Livingston County)
(810) 227-7100 (24hrs)
My Sister’s Place (Detroit)
(313) 864-7543
Turning Point (Macomb County)
(586) 463-6990 (24hrs)
Underground Railroad (Saginaw County)
(989) 755-0411
YWCA of Greater Flint (Genesee County)
(810) 238-SAFE (7233)
YWCA Interim House (Detroit)
(313) 861-5300
Legal Advice, Representation, & Clinics
Women’s Justice Center (Detroit)
(313) 371-3985
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Resources for the Abuser*
El Centro “La Familia”
(248) 229-0848 (24hrs)
(248) 858-5320
HAVEN Intervention in Battering Program
(248) 334-1284
Education Intervention Programs
(248) 693-0336
Alternatives to Domestic Aggression/Catholic Social Services
(734) 971-9781 ext. 329
*For a complete list of area batterer intervention programs that have
been found to meet Michigan state standards, please contact:
The Oakland County Coordinating Council Against Domestic Violence
Phone: (248) 456-8158 ext. 210
Fax: (248) 292-5294
E-mail: occcadv@commongroundsanctuary.org
IMPORTANT PHONE NUMBERS
Name: __________________________________________________
Phone Number: ___________________________________________
Name: __________________________________________________
Phone Number: ___________________________________________
Name: __________________________________________________
Phone Number: ___________________________________________
Name: __________________________________________________
Phone Number: ___________________________________________
24
Domestic Violence Website Resources
General
Common Ground Sanctuary
www.commongroundsanctuary.org
Domestic Violence Project, Inc./SAFE House
www.dvpsh.org
End Abuse/Family Violence Prevention Fund
www.endabuse.org
Family Violence Prevention Fund
www.fvpf.org
HAVEN
www.haven-oakland.org
Michigan Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
www.mcadsv.org
Michigan Crime Victims Website
www.mivictims.org
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
www.ncadv.org
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
www.ndvh.org
National Network to End Domestic Violence
www.nnedv.org
Oakland County Coordinating Council Against Domestic Violence
www.domesticviolence.org
SafeHouse
www.safehouse.org
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Legal Advice
American Bar Association
www.abanet.org/domviol.home.html
Women’s Law Initiative
www.womenslaw.org
Diverse
Arab American and Chaldean Council
www.arabacc.org
Asian Task Force Against Domestic Violence
www.atask.org
Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project
www.gmdvp.org
Institute on Domestic Violence in the African American Community
www.dvinstitute.org
LAMBDA GLBT Community Services
www.lambda.org
National Latino Alliance for the Elimination of Domestic Violence
www.dvalianza.org
The Northwest Network
www.nwnetwork.org
Survivor Project
www.survivorproject.org
Batterer Intervention
Batterer Intervention Services Coalition of Michigan
www.biscmi.org
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This booklet was printed courtesy of:
Tweddle Litho Company