995 - University of Surrey Students` Union

FREE
23/11/00
Issue no: 995
Fair
Trade
Your
Shout
p3
Ultimate
Frisbee
p4
p19
Film Festival
p12
Who Cut the Grants Out?
By Reuben Thompson
Political Editor
Last Wednesday, thirty-five
Surrey
students
joined
upwards of twelve thousand
from other universities and colleges across the country in the
biggest student protest seen in
Britain for over a decade.
The protest was organised by
the National Union of Students to
highlight the financial position of
students, with some now facing up
to £15,000 of debt by the end of
their courses. Equally important to
those participating was the issue
of Tuition Fees, which are in
essence, according to the NUS, a
charge for education, which has
been (until now) free in Britain. The
third big issue brought up was that
of so-called “top up” fees of up to
£15,000 per annum which may be
introduced by some universities to
pay for the shortfalls in their funding next year, with the tacit support
of the two largest political parties.
The group left the campus’
Natwest bank at around nine
o’clock to make the planned
eleven AM start from outside the
University of London on the march
to Kennington Park, the other side
of the river. The level of organisation was high and everyone was
given a placard featuring anti-fees
slogans. It was at this point that
the Socialist Workers Party began
their attempts to hijack the event
which continued throughout the
day, handing out opposing banners with far stronger slogans inciting students to “fuck fees” and
overthrow the government. Luckily,
there was too much infighting
amongst the twenty or so “socialist” groups present for them to succeed in their aim of spoiling the
peaceful nature of the march.
Approaching Waterloo Bridge a
group of protesters decided that
the protest should divert from its
agreed course to march on parliament, swearing at anyone who
refused to follow them. In order to
do this, they had to get round two
parked buses and a police van
blocking the road, the police having been expecting something of
this sort. At one point, USSU sabbatical Luke Mackenzie, acting as
a marshall for the day was forced
to physically intervene to prevent
one unfortunate and bewildered
female student from another university from being dragged
through the barriers by a militant
communist hurling abuse at all and
sundry. The three hundred or so
who did divert walked down and
over the bridge by Parliament
before sitting on the green outside
the House of Commons.
After this point we presumed that
the more radical factions of the
march had departed, but were
swiftly proved wrong when around
a third of the protesters decided to
sit down on the bridge, blocking
the way of the march and threatening to further worsen the traffic
situation, despite clear warnings
they would be arrested if they did.
In the event, I only saw one person
being arrested, despite the possibly over ambitious police presence
including a large number of mounted officers who spent half the
afternoon trying to stop protesters
Students say no (photo by Kevin Marston)
using public toilets.
In spite of all this, the march proceeded in high spirits, with a group
from Leeds Metropolitan even
sporting a giant skeleton on poles.
Other large groups had come from
Liverpool, Lancaster and Sheffield,
who brought nine coaches.
Chanting prevailed, with the most
popular by far being “What do we
want— Free Education”. During
the march, variants on just about
every nursery rhyme, pop song
and football chant known to man
were tried, ranging from the obvious to the plain ridiculous (“Who
let the fees out?” was heard as we
walked past the Inland Revenue!).
On arrival at Kennington Park,
the crowd was entertained by a
garage artist who I am unable to
name, before being addressed by
the president of NATFHE the lecturers union, who suggested that
the defence budget should be cut
to pay for grants. The general secretary of UNISON then expressed
the feelings of everyone present
by stating “David Blunkett has got
it wrong. Tuition fees have to go—
now”.
Next up was the Liberal
continued on page 3
Model Recruiters Thrown Off Campus
By James Buller
News Team
A man selling the promise of a
day as professional model was
apprehended by University
Security last week. The representative of ‘Double Take’ was
asking female students to part
with their money, without permission from UniS.
Security was alerted after a man
barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
in Chancellors and Roots
approached several girls with
glossy brochures and talked of
special deals on shoots with ‘top
fashion photographers’. A number
of students had already handed
over their credit card details to the
unidentified male when he turned
his sales spiel on a savvy fresher
year her friend.
The 1st year became suspicious
when the prices and offerings
quoted by the man changed constantly as he spoke. She managed
to prevent her friend from signing
up, yet also keep the man talking.
Meanwhile Security had been
called and officers arrived to escort
the man away.
The salesman and the Double
Take company were informed that
a license issued by the university
secretariat was required for them
to operate on campus, and that
such licences are rarely granted.
Head of Security, Tony Watling
said this was to protect students
“This is effectively one big house.
We advised them that they could
apply for a stall in the Union if they
wanted. Then they would be under
some sort of control”. There is no
evidence to suggest that the studio
firm or its representative were acting dishonestly or with any malicious intent.
News 1-3 n Features 4, n Barearts 5 - 12
n Lifestyle 14 n Sport 15-16
2
News
23/11/00
Editorial
Editorial Team
Editor
Editor
Kevin Marston
Deputy
Deputy Editor
Editor
Luke Hickey
Production
Production Editor
Editor
Andrew Thomas
News
News Team
Team
Film
Film Editors
Editors
James Buller
Arthi Veerupillai
Sariqa Wagley
Libby Hurt
Political
Political Editor
Editor
Science
Science Editor
Editor
Reuben Thompson
Nick Walsh
Features
Features Editor
Editor
Sports
Sports Editor
Editor
Vacant
Dave Chapman
Music
Music Editor
Editor
Marketing
Marketing Team
Team
This week's front page article takes a look at the student march against tuition fees, which took place last
Wednesday. Even though the event didn't really hit
the national press it still made an impact on London
and British society. However, you do start to wonder
what makes good news and who decides what's best
for the public eye if a march of over 10,000 people
through London doesn't even hit the inside pages of
the national press. But I will leave that to you to ponder.
The final point I would like to raise this week is that
barefacts will be celebrating their 1000th issue on the
1st February 2001 so if anyone would like to write an
article then please come and see me or send it to the
address above.
Kevin Marston
P.S. Thanks to all the contributors this week & watch
out for next week’s poetry section!
Thanks to all those people who returned the
barefacts survey. All the comments were well
received and the team will be implementing some
changes over next few issues. Special thanks goes
out to the person who spotted all of last weeks
spelling/grammar mistakes in the paper. You will be
glad to know that from next semester we will have a
proof reader, so if anyone else wishes to join them
please contact us at barefacts@surrey.ac.uk.
Ali Danby
Ellen van Keulen
Owen Hazelby
Arts
Arts Editor
Editor
Chris Morton
Contributers
Contributers
Ali Danby
Tom Sugarman
Andrew Gale
Greensoc
MWC
Sariqa Wagely
Simon Robinson
OFU
Links
Sarah Bowen
& Dr Russ
by James Buller
No Ban For French Beef
Captain Martin Johnson led the rebellion against the
Rugby Football Union in a row over pay.
The government has again refused to ban French
beef from UK shores, despite the threat of BSE from
across the channel.
The RFU had offered the 22-man team £6m over four
years - around £65-£70,000 per player. When the
players rejected this on Tuesday, coach Clive
Woodward said he felt “less than impressed” and
“betrayed”. He gave his men until 11:00 on
Wednesday to change their minds or else he would
pick a new team to face Argentina on Saturday.
France has recently stopped selling beef on the bone
and using suspect animal feed while it finds itself in
the midst of its own BSE crisis. Britain has been promised that no cows over 30months old, from BSE infected herds have been exported to Britain.
Downing Street said this week that the decision not to
include a ban was the upshot of seeking independent
scientific advice.
barefacts
Union House, University Of Surrey
Guildford, Surrey, GU2 7XH
Tel: 01483 879275
Fax: 01483 534749
email: barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
Deadline for Publication
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barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper, published by the University of Surrey Students' Union Communications Office.
The views expressed within the paper are those of individual authors, and do not necessarily
represent the views of the Editor, the Editorial Board, the University of Surrey Students' Union
or the University of Surrey.
This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, without the express permission
of the publisher.
All submissions must include the author's name and Union or Staff Number. Submission is no guarantee of publication.
Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles will not be published.
barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions.
Printed by
East End Offset (TU), Bow, London, E3 3LT
© USSU Communications Office 2000
In a letter to Tony Blair earlier, the Agriculture Minister,
Nick Brown is said to have written: “diplomatic
niceties” should be ignored if there is any risk to consumers. Brown felt that there was no way of making
sure that French beef was not on its way to consumers’ plates, Italy and Spain have already
announced bans on the product.
Shadow Agriculture Secretary Tim Yeo said that not
enough was being done to protect British consumers
and demanded a similar ban immediately.
He said: “I think there are now serious question marks
about French beef and I think the government should
introduce a ban immediately to protect British consumers. Consumers at the moment do not know in a
processed meat product exactly where the beef has
come from.” He added.
European Agriculture ministers have also just agreed
to have a mass screening programme of millions of
cows for the disease.
100 BSE cases have been recorded by vets in France
this year, a 300% increase on last year. Two French
people have also died from contracting the human
form of the virus, new variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (vCJD). Their families are suing the French and
British Governments, plus the European Commission.
They say potentially contaminated meat was knowingly exported from the UK, and that France and the EC
did not do enough to protect their its citizens.
In the UK, to date over 80 people have died from
vCJD. The death toll is expected to rise but it is difficult to say by how much.
Ruby Heavyweights Scrum Over Money
England’s rugby stars were refusing to play ball on
Tuesday. Just days ahead of an international match
the entire squad has gone on strike.
Martin Johnson said the pay negotiations had been
frustrating and inconclusive. He accused the RFU of
being “old-fashioned, patronising and arrogant”. He
added: “It’s not just an issue about money. It’s the principle, the way the RFU have handled the situation.
They are affecting the guys’ livelihoods on a matter of
principle.”
Woodward responded “I don’t think they were being
greedy in terms of what they wanted. But I have to say
after seeing the offer for the first time I could not
believe the players haven’t accepted it - it’s that close
to what the players wanted. They know my feelings
loud and clear. I think they have made a huge mistake.
He has pledged to put an England team out against
the Argentineans even if it does not contain any of the
England regulars.
However former England captain former captain and
players representative Matt Dawson hoped that other
professionals would also refuse to take part in the
match. “I would like to think that other players can see
the larger picture that is being painted by players who
are possibly sacrificing their international careers.”
Asked for his personal feelings Woodward said be felt
betrayed by “one or two players, who I considered
mates, who I have helped over the last few years. And
not just me, Andy Robinson, Phil Larder, Brian
Ashton.” (the coaches). “For the players to come back
to (chief executive) Francis (Baron) and say they were
withdrawing their labour, I think we all feel let down.
We have got them the best facilities, the best coaches
- everything has been put on the line to get them every
success. I do feel let down, I am less than impressed.
I have got my own views but I’m not going to state
them publicly. I know for a fact that one or two (of the
younger players) will have been driving home
absolutely shattered by what’s going on. I don’t think
some of the senior players and their agents have handled this very well.”
The Argentinean players for their part receive around
£1,400 for the 10-day tour and only half of them are
professional players.
3
News & Your Shout
23/11/00
Who Let the Grants Out?
Democrat spokesman on Higher
Education, who urged students to
make tuition fees a big election issue
next year and urged us to find out the
position of our local MPs. Then the
president of NUS Scotland talked
about how pressure in Scotland had
ensured the adoption of the Cubie
system by the country’s Labour/LibDem coalition government, whereby
fees are abolished and some students
do receive a small grant from next
year.
Last on the agenda was the mayor
of London, Ken Livingstone, who
ended the protest with a typically rousing speech, reminding us that “every
Labour MP got their education free—
they have no right to pull the ladder up
behind them”. The one factor that united all the speakers, though, was their
shared conviction that taxes on the
rich should be raised to pay for higher education.
It was easy to gauge by the turnout where students opinions lie on this issue. Bearing in mind
that the student vote can easily swing an election
in Britain, the government would be unwise to
continue ignoring these protests.
cont
Your Shout
On arrival at Surrey I anticipated that
university services would be at least
affordable if not cheap. However,
clearly I had been wearing rose-tinted
spectacles as I discovered the financial state do USSU rather inhibited
services from falling into the 'cheap'
bracket. Please be aware this is not
yet another rant about beer prices
and associated promotions nor the
obscene prices charged by the one stop shop. I'm going to whinge about
UNIcuts instead!
Determined Faces
Photos by Kevin Marston
Haircuts, a trivial matter you may
think. However, when a simple dry cut
burns a chasm like gap in your wallet
it is anything but trivial. Perhaps I was
expecting too much. Shortly before
arriving at UNICUTS I thought of the
rumours I'd heard about its extravagant prices. However, feeling brave I
ventured into the hairdressing salon.
Remembering these rumours I
thought I'd best ask the price of a trim
before booking a cut. 'Eleven pound
fifty came', the reply from the blonde
hairdresser. 'No, I mean with a student discount, I countered. I was told
that the cheapest possible haircut
was £11.50 with a student discount. I
made my excuses and left.
like most things in Guildford, even a
haircut doesn't come cheap. I mentioned earlier that on arrival at Surrey
I'd been wearing rose - tinted spectacles with regard to the cost of
University services. This was probably derived from, more than anything
else the price of a haircut at my best
friend's
university,
Plymouth.
According to him a dry cut cost
approximately five pounds. Clearly,
the cost of living in a London commuter town is far greater than
Plymouth where unemployment is
comparatively high. In fact, Guildford
was reputed to be the wealthiest town
outside central London in terms of
income per household according to a
Guardian supplement last year.
However, to charge £11.50 on campus for a haircut is simply laughable.
Hairtec, in Madrid Rd, a commercial
not university barbers charges £10 for
a dry cut, including student discount.
Whatever justification UNICUTS may
have for their charges I believe it is
the duty of the university executive to
demand more competitive prices or
find a cheaper alternative to UNICUTS.
by anon
I wish I could say I was surprised but,
Oh sit down, sit down next to me
The Grim Reaper makes a visit
...News In Brief...News In Brief...News In Brief...News In Brief...
in Europe.
Police Seek Three
Police hunted for three suspects just yards
away from campus last week. Over a dozen
officers, an alsacian dog and a helicopter
conducted a search of an area on the far
side of the Cathedral. They sought three
men in connection with an unspecified incident at around 8:15pm on Wednesday 15th
November. Initially the focus was on a
house near the junction of The Oval and
Madrid road. The spotlight of the copter hovering above brilliantly illuminated the front of
the council house. Attention then switched
to the open land at the rear of the property.
The police searched for over 30 minutes
without success. They would release no further details at the scene and despite being
asked Surrey Police had not commented
when Barefacts went to print.
Nokia Network With UniS
Nokia and UniS forged links at a technology
event in Austin Pearce last week. Around
250 people attended the ‘Future Moves’
events to see Nokia’s vision for tomorrow’s
information dominated world.
Staff and Students from the school of
Electronic Engineering listened to seminars
given by Nokia personnel and saw 15 technical demonstrations, of the latest network
and mobile handset technology.
Future Moves is a scheme by Nokia to
develop a ‘Global University Alliance’. The
tour is visiting universities in nine countries
around the world this autumn. It hopes to
raise the company’s profile and strengthen
working relationships with academic sites
engaged in key technological research.
Senior representatives were present on both
sides. University Vice Chancellor Professor
Patrick Dowling gave his closed the even
along with Andrew Cooper, Vice President
of Nokia Product Creation (UK). Professor
Barry Evans, Director of the Centre for
Communications
Systems
Research
(CCSR) and Peter Kuhne, a Senior Vice
President of Nokia also made speeches.
The CCSR at the University of Surrey is the
largest of its kind in the UK. With an annual
turnover of around £2m it is a major player
in a Virtual Centre of excellence as well as
MP Taxis In
Member of Parliament for Guildford, Nick St.
Aubyn, will be visiting the University tomorrow (Friday). The Conservative will arrive in
a taxi emblazoned with the UniS logo as a
part of a University initiative to help local
businesses. More details will be in next
weeks Barefacts.
As Cool As Ice
A magician is planning to encase himself in
ice for two straight days. David Blaine hopes
to last for 58 hours in a frozen box in New
York.
He will wear only trousers and boots during
the ordeal and be linked to the outside world
only by a tube for water and air. He will lie in
a cavity in the ice carved to fit his body. A
second piece of ice will then be used to seal
him in.
To his fans he said “I ask well-wishers to
lend me their warmth and support by visiting
and touching the block of ice in which I will
be frozen,”
The stunt is very daring and dangerous.
Doctors have said “the biggest dangers are
loss of circulation and frostbite in his fingers
and toes, and the threat of falling asleep in
which case his head could slump, bringing
his face into contact with the ice, damaging
his skin,” Blaine’s medical consultant, Dr
Ronald Rudin, said. “There is also the danger of blood clots which could break loose
and move to the brain or other vital organs
as David is being broken out of the ice.”
Blaine has even planned emergency eye
signals to use in case he cannot signal any
other way that he needs help. His heartbeat
will also be constantly monitored by doctors
The feat will begin Monday 27 November.
Two days later during a live TV special,
David Blaine hopes to emerge unscathed.
His efforts will also be watchable using a
webcam on the star’s website:
www.davidblaine.com
4
Fair Trade & Your Emails
Fair Trade
This Christmas millions of pounds will be
spent on cards and gifts, food, celebrations,
and indulgences in the Western developed
world. Shoppers out for a bargain, within
reason trying to spend as little as possible,
give scant regard to the source and effects
of their purchases. It is time for consumers
to wake up to the fact that In many cases the
savings they are making (of the profits the
companies are pocketing!) are at the
expense of the producers – labourers,
craftsmen, farmers and their families in less
developed countries such as Indonesia,
South America, Kenya…….
For example, the textiles market, while
controlled by managers in offices in the
developed world, relies on cheap and abundant labour in “sweat shops” – huge warehouse factories, often set up illegally and
with employees including those normally
unable to apply for work (i.e. immigrants
without work permits). The conditions of
working are poor. There are few if any health
and safety regulations, risk of accidents is
high, hours are often hellishly long – you
complain at the minimum wage here, in one
of these factories you are talking pence not
pounds! There is no job security and if they
don’t like you, you go, with the attitude that
there are plenty more where you came from.
And the sad thing is that this is true – the
number of people moving to cities as rural
life becomes uneconomically viable means
that there is a constant flow of unskilled
migrants looking for work, and this is often
the best they can do.
The more publicised examples are coffee
and cocoa/chocolate products – how much
of that will you eat over the Christmas period!? In these instances huge plantations,
again controlled by multinational companies
in the developed world, are worked by local
farmers under slave conditions. Lesserknown examples are fruits (bananas are a
recently publicised example) nuts, cotton,
sugar, and all cash crops such as tinned
fruit. Farmers are forced into contracts to
maximise production. This means applying
chemical fertilisers (expensive and harmful
to the people and environment), using largescale machinery that they must hire from the
company (erodes poor soils and increases
overheads in terms of fuel and rental).
Substandard crops are refused, and there is
no guaranteed market – if demand drops, or
they can buy cheaper elsewhere, they will
do, leaving the farmers with nothing. Land
normally used for growing food for their own
familiar and local population is given over to
these commercial crops, forcing them to buy
from elsewhere, or survive from smaller
plots. In short, Del Monte is bad news.
Here are a few examples of where your
money goes
There are innumerable issues surrounding
trade policies and procedures*Poor wages
*Unsafe or unhealthy working conditions
*Long hours
23/11/00
*No of job security
*Lax environmental controls
*Pressure to maximise production at the
expense of local interest
*Multinational domination of rural
communities
*Fluctuating prices – if the world market
becomes saturated, demand drops, or global prices drop, so does the value of the crop
*Local craftsmanship and culture are lost
How many more examples do you need…?
This is why fair trade organisations such as
Traidcraft have been formed. Their policy is
to guarantee a fair wage to producers,
improve working conditions, establish longterm working links and job security, and offer
advance payments where needed to establish and develop businesses. They are also
concerned with supporting local people in
small-scale and family industries, and
encouraging traditional crafts and farming,
rather than moving in and taking over.
Traidcraft products come from right across
the developing world – pottery from
Bangladesh, doormats from Shertallai and
painted silk ties from Bangalore (India),
pressed flower greetings cards from
Mauritius, organic cocoa from Bolivia, coffee
from Peru…… All are quality products produced in an ethical and constructive environment to benefit the people who do the
real work, rather than the guys in the offices
miles away. Trade is organised in a fair and
co-operative manner.
So, this Christmas, when you are out with
the credit card, please consider the source
of what you are buying, and the human
costs it represents. The Fairtrade logo has
been established to identify goods certified
as fair trade. Look out for it on supermarket
items such as coffee, tea, chocolate etc.
Check out the companies you are buying
from, and the Brands You chose – the website www.ethicalconsumer.org looks at the
ethical and environmental records of businesses and products, and there are regularly updated lists of who and what you should
be boycotting to encourage a fair market. A
more direct activist perspective exploring all
that is wrong with large multinational businesses can be found at www.corporatewatch.org, working with the principal that
“The earth is not dying it is being killed, and
those who are killing it have names and
addressees.”
To help you on your way, there will be a
FAIR TRADE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
FAIR
30th NOVEMBER 10am-4PM
HARI’S BAR
On sale will be a wide variety gifts, food
and seasonal items etc. – all ethically aware
and Fair Trade goods – from representatives including Oxfam, Traidcraft, the World
Wildlife Fund, Tear Fund and SpiceDirect.
Please come and support this event and see
what attractive and tasty products are available along – it’s free, and there will be Fair
Trade tea and coffee available as well. (Top
tip from the organisers – Traidcraft
Continental Chocolate is good stuff!
Mmmmmm……..!)
BE AN ETHICAL
CHRISTMAS
SHOPPER
THIS
By Emma van Huysse
Your Emails
Please send your emails to barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
To: barefacts
From: Andrew Gale
Subject: Student Council
Cc:
Dear barefacts,
I was originally intending to write a
letter ranting about what a travesty
last week’s Student Council motion
to restrict committee- and votingmembership of religious and political
societies was. The more I think
about it, though, the more I feel
some degree of sympathy for those
societies who thought that such a
measure was necessary.
The crux of the matter is whether or
not a religious or political society
should be able to protect itself from
would-be saboteurs being elected
onto its committee. Whether committee members happen to be
believers or not is not really relevant.
The Union constitution says that all
students must be allowed to stand
for election to a society’s committee.
Some religious and political societies seem to think that there is a
need for them to be excluded from
this rule because it might allow candidates with malicious intentions to
become committee members. Of
course, they would only get onto the
committee if the society’s electorate
wanted them to. Even if such a person does get elected then the
amount of damage they can do is
To: barefacts
From: Jayne Ellliott
Subject: Student Council
Cc:
limited by the Union’s rules on nondiscrimination, and their obligation
to work to realise the society’s aims
and objectives as defined in its constitution (otherwise what is the point
of societies having constitutions?).
As far as I can see, there already
exists enough safeguards in place
to deter potential troublemakers
without the need for this motion,
namely 1) the society’s constitution,
2) the Union’s non-discrimination
rules, and most importantly 3) the
electorate. Whether or not you consider these to be sufficient would
seem to depend on whether or not
you trust the electorate enough to
make the ‘correct’ decision.
There may, however, be some justification for being suspicious of the
electorate: the Union constitution
insists that any student be allowed
to turn up to any society’s AGM and
vote, regardless of how much commitment they have to that society.
Although this is a well-intentioned
rule, it does allow a candidate with
troublemaking intentions to bring a
hoard of supporters to sway the
vote at an AGM. Just to shrug your
shoulder and say “Oh well, that’s
democracy” is rather insensitive.
motion was akin to using a sledgehammer to crack a nut. As far as
committee memberships goes, I
think we can trust the electorate at
each AGM to make the ‘correct’
decision, and give them the leeway
to elect non-believers if they consider it appropriate. As for the make-up
of the electorate, I can not agree
that members should be required to
hold a particular set of beliefs
[defined by the society’s committee]
before being allowed to vote. This is
partly because of the problem of
defining a Christian or Muslim or
Tory, and partly because I feel that
anyone who involves themselves
positively in the activities of a society should be allowed to have a say
in the running of that society.
I expect that there will be some
move at the next Student Council to
reverse last week’s motion. I would
be in favour of this, but I feel that
any such move should also address
the religious and political societies’
concerns about one-time-attendees
turning up to their AGMs in order to
swing the vote towards a candidate
with malicious intentions.
Yours sincerely,
Andrew Gale
Personally, I think that last week’s
Dear Barefacts,
I wholeheartedly agree with
Simon Blackwells concern
about the motion put forward
by CU at the meeting of
Student Council to give societies the power to discriminate. Therfore, basically letting the CU (and other religious and political societies)
pick and choose who are and
are not worthy of the status of
membership. It is worrying to
find that as a Students Union,
through the vote at Student
Council, we are willing to support discrimination by something as subjective as religion.
Personally, I found it very hypocritical that on one hand CU
were putting a motion to
Student Council to ‘veto’
members of the society, by
trying to protect the CU society from members of the students’ union turning up at
their society meetings and
vote en mass against CU’s
beliefs. (The beginnings of a
paranoid Society….anybody
want to sign up?) Yet the
members of CU had turned
out en masse to vote the
motion through at student
council. This effectively made
it a forgone conclusion somewhat reminiscent of the Grant
Mitchell Room farce that
occurred years ago. From the
‘partial’ show of hands at student council, it was very obvious that CU represented a
significantly high percentage
of the students present.
Also, please can somebody
clarify to me what is needed
to pass the new criteria for
CU membership? From student council it was stated that
members have to be a
Christian. How do you define
who is and who is not a
Christian? Do you have to go
to church every Sunday and
have a passbook stamped as
proof? Also, how do you
decide if a member perceives
themselves to be a believer or
just believes himself to be a
Christian. (There is a difference between the two according to one of my friends of the
Christian faith.)
Yours,
Jayne Elliott
Competition Time
Bonjour, and welcome once again to the place where you can win huge amounts of nice
things. Before we go any further, thanks to everybody who sent us responded surveys, we’ll do a rundown of the results next week, meanwhile the winners of the FNO tickets are Louise Hamlin, Robert
Houston and Emma Van-Huysse.
Well done to all last week’s main competition winners. Louise Hamlin was correct in telling us that
Pierce Brosnan played Bond in The World is not Enough, and wins the t-shirt, key ring and notepad to
add to the FNO tickets. Samantha Stevens walks away with The Way of the Gun stuff after deciding
that The Usual Suspects came out in 1995. Finally, the winner of the 6 FNO tickets is Sarah Hill, who
said the sabb she would like a date with our editor, Kev, because he ‘is so lovely and huggable’
(Please be assured, Sarah, that there are people who can help you).
Make sure you keep your eyes peeled over the next few weeks for some competitions straight out of
the top draw, including (hopefully) large wads of cash to spend on your choice of clothes at a few
stores in Guildford.
Now on to the mammoth offerings available to you this week: As usual, first name out of the hat wins
(except for FNO tickets), entries in by Monday 6pm and editors decision is final.
Win a Date with Rich & Rich.
Win London Film Festival Tickets and Merchandise.
How would you like to spend the evening with the two
heartthrobs that form this fantastically talented duo. Two
lucky winners will get some free film tickets to a nice
slushy flick and the chance to spend to evening with the
two Riches. If you’re really lucky, you might even get a private performance from the two (on guitar, obviously). If
you want to be in with a shout, just answer this question
(you’ll find a very large hint if you read the write-up of their
live set)
To celebrate the London Film Festival coming on tour to Guildford, our mates at the LFF on tour have
supplied us with two t-shirts, a collector’s magazine of all the films in the tour (worth £11), and 4 tickets
to pass on to you and 3 runners-up prizes of pair of tickets to see a film from the tour in the Guildford
Odeon. To win some of these prizes, just answer the following question:
How many towns and cities are visited by the LFF tour?
4
14
114
Which instruments to Rich & Rich play?
Guitars
Harmonicas
Fiddles
Win FNO Tickets
Win a Cocktail Set.
The fantastic guys at www.drinktaboo.com have given us a
superb cocktail set (worth a not inconsiderable amount of
money) to give away. The set comes complete with recipe
book, where you can learn to craft such pleasures as
Taboo WooWoo, Taboo Voodoo, Igloo and Champoo. To
win all you have to do is answer the following question:
What sort of drink is Taboo?
A larger
A tantalizing taste of white wine, exotic fruit juices and
vodka, providing a flavour to die for
A rare Ukrainian vodka
How do you fancy 6 free tickets to the FNO on 1st December? How do you fancy not having to queue
up? Sound appealing? Well, all you have to do is to write the funniest answer to this question:
What is your best feature and why?
Win a Trip to the Rio Carnival
Dotmusic, Europe’s No.1 music website, is offering you and five mates the chance to go to carnival in
the party capital of the world, including five nights accommodation. All you have to do to win is visit
www.dotmusic.com/rio and collect the six pieces of the puzzle hidden around the news pages and click
them. This competition is not run by USSU, so special rules apply, full details can be found on the webpage. Good luck and if you win, can I go please??
London Film Festival
Music reviews
Competitions
OFU
6
Music News
Music
News
This week saw the announcement
of the MTV Europe Music awards
from Stockholm and All Saints
surprised the pop world when they
scooped the Best Pop Act award.
In less shocking news Ricky
Martin received the award for Best
Male and Madonna was awarded
Best Female and also Best Dance
Act. Red Hot Chilli peppers
caused an upheaval when picking
up their award for Best Rock Act by
launching an attack on the pop
invasion. Chad Smith announced
“How many musicians do we have
here? Do me a favour – go and
start a band because we need
some more rock bands!”. The full
award listings are below.
Best Group – Backstreet Boys
Best Female – Madonna
Best Male – Ricky Martin
Best R&B Act – Jennifer Lopez
Best Rock Act – Red Hot Chili
Peppers
Best New Act – Blink 182
Best Pop Act – All Saints
Best Dance Act – Madonna
Best Hip Hop Act – Enimem
Best Video – Moby, ‘Natural Blues’
Best Song – Robbie Williams,
‘Rock DJ’
Best Album – Eminem, ‘The
Marshal Mathers LP’
Nicole from All Saints has
announced more news this week
as it has been reported that she is
pregnant by the Oasis front man
Liam Gallagher. The 28 year old
Oasis star and 26 year old Nicole
have been dating for 5 months and
they are apparently “thrilled” about
the prospect of a little Liam on the
way. According to the tabloids
Nicole is two months pregnant.
Perhaps this is Liam’s idea to
prove Robbie Williams taunts
wrong, that he is better in bed than
him.
George Harrison’s attacker,
Michael Abram, has apologised for
the “Alarm, distress and injury”
caused to the ex-Beatle and his
wife when he broke into their home
on December the 30th last year.
The 36 year old, Abram, was found
not guilty for attempted murder by
reason of insanity. The statement
announcing his apologies to the
Harrison family was read out in
court by his solicitor. In the statement Michael announced that “I
was never told that I was suffering
from schizophrenia or any mental
illness. I though the illusions were
real and everything that I was
experiencing was some kind of
witchcraft.”
The Live Experience
RICH & RICH
Little Rich – Guitar and singer
Lanky Rich – Guitar and keyboard
R&R kicked the evening off in the kind of comical style
for which they have become famous. After a quick
sketch entitled Lawerence of Arabia, they began their
40-minute set. The first two songs, both written by R&R,
were nice, without being spectacular.
The rest of the songs were then a combination a humorous takes on their lives, always very funny, serious
songs they wrote; most very good and covers including
a version of ‘Trouble’ which Coldplay themselves would
be mightily proud of. Both gave a very good demonstration of their abilities on guitar and Little Rich showed why
he is rated so higly as a singer but came across as more
of a comedy act, with the occasional serious song, rather
than a ‘proper’ music act.
23/11/00
Another Christmas another Beatles cash in.
Perhaps the news that The
Beatles new greatest hits compilation ‘1’ looks likely to go platinum in
the UK and that it went to number
1 in its first week of sale, will help
George recover from the ordeal. It
is predicted that the album will also
be the best selling album of the
year despite only being released in
November. The current best selling album, Robbie Williams ‘Sing
Simon Robinson
featuring a Rich & Rich Interview
ANGEL
Mark – Drums
Jamie – Guitar
John- Bass
Not much to say for this band except that they need to
be given credit because their only 18 years old and have
only been together for 10 months.
Although they did not have me mesmerised like the Rich
& Rich and Moogle the audience seemed to love them.
The music was really good but I felt the singer was lacking something (but my opinion means shit all). The last
song, I have to say woke me up, it was decent and a
good ending to the night.
Angel are sighed to Bad Music and have an E.P out
called Pilot. On there you will find (signal 7 and
Crimson). If you want more information on this band
then checkout the website www.badmusic.net
MOOGLE
Chris - Theatre-bass
Mike - Freelance sound Engineer –drums
Dan - office work-singer
After a riveting and mellow acoustic start to the night this
next band were a fantastic follow up. Moogle- (not the
nicest of names but what the hell their a indie band) are
a 3 piece band originally from Winchester.
They’ve been together for four years and have only just
got back together from a long break. The band is
unsigned, which to me is hugely disappointing, but if you
were there on Tuesday night you would have noticed
that they did a great job, of plugging their tape without
the help of any management. They sang two song off
the tape; Rainbows and I Will Be Your Milkman, both
were excellent the lead singers voice went superbly with
the bass, their performance was just quality. The tape is
Gold for anyone who is interested, I have no idea how to
get hold of it but if anyone does can you get me a copy
too!!
When You’re Winning’ has sold
313,000 copies. A spokes person
from HMV commented that ‘1’
would be one of the biggest selling
albums of all time, “it will sell constantly for years because it is timeless.” Luckily for you my news column isn’t so I will leave you.
Rich & Rich Interview
Musical duo Rich and Rich, or ‘Dick and Dick, the Head Brothers’,
as some witty individual scribbled on a poster, want to be taken
seriously. So why then do they punctuate ‘proper’ music with their
comedy routines so often? Little Rich says it is because they don’t
believe themselves to be good enough to carry off a proper act at
the moment. They are after a drummer, and another guitarist /
singer to turn them into a more rounded act. Lanky Rich is adamant
though that Little Rich will remain the lead singer, Lanky will even
go as far as to stop playing altogether if Little stops singing. They
accept that in their current form they will always be seen partly as
a comedy duo, with Lanky Rich the main funny guy and Little Rich
the lad with boy band good looks who plays along with the jokes.
As they pore over a recent FHM, Little Rich speaks of how they
love writing their own music, and that it is based on friendship with
each other and others. They also love performing and the comedy
routine. Most of the ideas they come up with before hand are
dropped, mainly for risking upsetting people but that doesn’t bother Little Rich too much, “Lanky Rich is at his best when he is just
talks about whatever comes into his head.” Some sketches are
planned though, for example the water pistols used to soak the
audience and the ‘Whassup!’ sketch.
The topic of conversation was quickly turned back to what was in
FHM, with Britney Spears appearing. Little Rich adores her but
Lanky Rich says, “She can’t sing, is ugly and has a lazy eye, and I
don’t want anything more to be said about her.” So the future? They
want to stay together, ideally with two new members, past university and hope for a lucky break. With their talent they deserve all
the luck they get.
Finally, Rich & Rich would like to point out that they are both single
and available. (See Competitions section for your chance to win a
date with them.)
Angel headlining Live
By Luke Hickey.
Old Spice!
David Devant / Ciccone @ Camden HQs, 18/11/2000
How the (never particularly) mighty crowd is dedicated if nothing else,
have fallen. Famous for grating singing along to the other near
carrots over manikins during chart misses, ‘I Think About You’
almost-top-40 “hit”, ‘Ginger’, and and, well, I’m sure there were
appearing on The Ozone once, some others… On stage the band
four years on David Devant find clearly detach themselves from
themselves almost back where reality for forty minutes and play
they started. Not that it’s immedi- like they really almost did on Top
ately obvious. The near capacity Of The Pops. Their quirky indiepop
being good, though not totally convincing. Failure as a result of
wrong sound, wrong time, but
that’s showbiz, next.
Ciccone are supporting tonight, a
motley crew of eighties renegades
playing swift kick to the crotch
punkpop. Lead singer ‘Mickey boy’
is intoxicated with punk rock spirit,
incoherently letting words fall out
his mouth between battered
songs. It takes the guiding hand of
guitarist Rebekah, resembling
school uniform era Britney if she’d
attended Grange Hill and smoked
in the toilets, to keep the gang on
track. All songs are three and half
minutes, all have great big chorus-
es, Ciccone could well be destined
for more than toilet circuit hell.
Sexy, sporadic, and subversive,
more bite than Bis and less diluted
than the Dum Dums an ashamedly
kitch and kinky assault on the current teeny bop agenda.
Andrew Thomas
23/11/00
Singles
sound like Teenage Fanclub do in their less
energetic moments. ‘Honey Its Alright To Be
Wrong’ is quieter and more spartan affair but
still tightly performed. 6/10 I.P.
VIOLET INDIANA – Choke (Bella Union)
A very melancholy single, the sound is
somewhat like Portishead on two tracks
except with a less electronic feel. The other
two tracks are noiser affairs with the vocals
and guitars flaring up in defiance of the tragic feel of the songs. Siobhan De Maré’s powerful vocals being allowed to lead the music,
with it complementing them perfectly. 8/10
I.P.
GLASSJAW – Ry Ry’s Song (RoadRunner
Records)
This is the debut single from New York
based post hardcore kids Glassjaw. ‘Ry Ry’s
song’ is three and a half minutes of spiky,
abrasive punk rocked backed with jagged
guitar and searing vocals. The B-sides will
please fans of more of a hardcore nature
and those who have ever wanted to hear
what the Tasmanian Devil would sound like
on Speed. Music not for the lighthearted, full
of rage and bitterness. 4/10 S.R.
GORILLAZ – Tomorrow comes today
(parlophone)
Tomorrow Comes Today is a four track ep
with diverse influences from Lo-Fi groove to
Stateside Hip-Hop. The single features
Damon Albarn on vocals and therefore has a
sound almost identical to the recent Blur
material. The other three tracks are a bit of a
let down and don’t really present great promise for a recognised future. Still, it is worth a
listen. 7/10 M.S.
DONNA DEE – Lurvin You (Clockwork
Records)
Emerging as one of the leading figures on
the break-beat/garage fusion scene, Donna
Dee releases her latest single ‘Lurvin You’,
where hip-hop beats combine with soulful
vocals. However, a single consisting of six
garage re-mixes of the same track gets
bloody boring. Donna Dee herself sings
“Lurvin you, it don’t come easy”, keep trying
Donna we might do eventually. 3/10 S.R.
KOKOSHKA – Angie
The title track is a soft melodic indie guitar
affair. The track is well thought out with
music and vocals tying up nicely. They
TOPLOADER
Dancing
in
the
Moonlight/Alliance DC Remix (Sony S2)
Re-release of the song that has pissed you
off in every bar you went into over the sum-
Album of the Week
PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS Question in the Form of an
Answer (Om Records)
I think that I saw PUTS at
Glastonbury this year, although to
be honest I can’t remember too
much of their set. Anyway, the name
sounded familiar and I had some
idea that I should expect to hear
some really relaxed, mellow, homemade hip-hop. Well, I got what I
expected and then some. The
music they use on the tracks is
incredibly relaxing. Its mellow vibes
act as an excellent counterfoil to
some of the more violent rhymes
and scratches. They are on tour
until the end of November. 10/10
S.B.
TRADE
–
Past/Present/Future
(Beechwood)
This album will give you an insight into why
TRADE has a reputation for cutting edge
music and discovering new DJs and turning
them into super-stars. DJs such as Tall Paul,
Tony de Vit, Steve Thomas and Pete
Wardman have all cut their teeth at Trade.
The Past section is mixed by the late Tony
de Vit, and features an ultra-rare mix of the
New Years Eve party held at TRADE. The
‘present’ has been put together by KISS FM’
Sharp Boys, and has funky re-mixes of stuff
by Madonna, George Michael and
Jamiroquai. Gonzalo is one of the Future
DJs at Trade, and judging by this, he is the
future of TRADE. All in all, a brilliant compilation. 8/10 J.H.
V/A –Winter Chill 2 (Hed Kandi)
The follow up to last years chill out album
featuring the likes of Moby, LTJ Bukem,
Tosca, Goldfrapp and many more. This is
defiantly one to put on after a big night out
with your friends with its relaxed tunes,
smooth pace and hypnotic trances. You
might even think you are somewhere far
below the ground after listening to it but that
could be due to something totally different.
8/10 K.M.
Fingathing – The Main Event
A heady mix of hip-hop rhythms and ambi-
7
Record Reviews
Single of the Week
BADLY DRAWN BOY – Once Around The
Block (XL)
Fresh from the success of his Mercury Prize
album ‘The Hour Of Bewilderbeast’, which has
sold over 100,000 copies, this single is proof
that he deserved the award… miss his genius
at your peril. 8/10 J.H.
mer, and most probably ruined the night out
that you were having. Unfortunately now
they are out to get you when you least
expect it – on the dance floor. Both of the
Alliance DC mixes are more than 7 minutes
long, so there is probably enough time to
leave the dance floor and get to the bar
before the next track comes on. Now the
good part, I don’t normally buy vinyl so I was
unsure as to the correct speed that it should
be played. Apparently it is 45rpm, but at 33
this track sounds so much better, it gives Joe
a voice like Isaac Hayes, and puts you in the
moo... 2.5/10 at normal speed (7/10 if
played slowly) S.B.
ing on 'Lazy Lagoon' may belong to Miss
Piggy but otherwise the vocals are both
soothing and alluring. Chilled but far from
cold. 8/10 A.T.
SAM BURKEY - Where I’m Now Stood
(No record label)
Sam Burkey has had a distinguished career
as a principle artist in various opera’s
around the world. This influence is in every
track on ‘Where I’m now stood’ and offers a
mixture of jazz and classy piano work, which
is very ‘Marc Cohn’ like. The third track
‘Your Game’ is upbeat and lively and the title
track is very ‘Jamiroquai’ like with funky
beats. ‘Someone someday’ is a classic ‘slow
quiet start’ build up track but unfortunately
doesn’t liven up enough. This album is a bit
dull and lifeless at times, which is a shame
because the upbeat tracks are good. If you
like his voice you’ll probably love this album
otherwise don’t bother with it as its a very
prominent feature. 6/10 N.M.
ent
melodies ensures this album a special place
in my heart. The Fingathing boys consist of
Peter Parker on the wheels of steel and
Sneaky on the double bass, and this is the
basic premise for the whole album, with the
guest appearances being mostly made up of
other scratch DJ’s. The bass lines vary from
smooth, clean sounding melodies to fuzzy
plucking sounds with the drum sounds being
either scratched out or sampled, and the
end result is non-formulaic and original. The
boys prove the musical dexterity with tracks
like The Final Bout and Slappy’s tune, whilst
Remember This and Bid Kid show the boys
lighter side. The one lyrical track, Slippin’ is
a bit too close to R n B, but this is the only
below par track on the album. The Grand
Central people have done it again, with
Fingathing proving themselves to be more
than just a niche fulfilling novelty act. 8/10
R.P.
ANJALI - Anjali (Wiija)
Much like the shelf stackers in Tesco, Anjali
is 'multi-skilled'. However, in this case it's
justified with her taking on the roles of producer, vocalist, multi-instrumentalist, and
writer for this, her debut album. Which no
doubt makes recording a lonely task. Still,
on her own or not, this is hypnotic sexual
expression in a flowing world of epic film
tinged surrealism. The breathing and sigh-
LYRICIST LOUNGE VOL. II - Various
(Rawkus)
The aim of this was to “...bring mainstream
artists and underground artists together..”,
and it’s quite disappointing really. A quick
scan of the artists included (Q-tip, Redman,
Dilated Peoples, Eric Sermon and Mos Def)
might get you excited, but theirs are the only
outstanding tracks of this album. “A lot of
compilations...are cluttered with filler, but all
the songs on this album could be singles”
says Perry Landesberg, head of Rawkus
MJ COLE - Hold On To Me (Mercury)
Winner of 'Best Producer' at this year's
MOBO awards it's easy to see why. MJ Cole
is a backroom boy, a twiddly knobs fiddler, a
levels co-ordinator. Certain acts are probably
lining up outside his studio. Unfortunately he
thinks he can write songs as well. Which he
can't. This slice of lounge based dinner party
dance is bland beyond belief. The new M
People anyone? 2/10 A.T.
This weeks reviews brought to you by:
Andrew Thomas, Alex Rajkovic, Alex
Read, Matt Southcombe, Stuart Brown,
Nigel Martin, Simon Robinson, Ian Purvey,
and James Hemingway.
Albums
records, and he’d be right; but most of them
wouldn’t be very good. On the bright side
however, Q-tip & Wordsworth deliver a
smooth duet over some very funny beats, all
the tracks featuring Mos Def are brilliant, DJ
Premier’s production on the Gang Starr rework of Macy Gray’s “I’ve committed murder” is very forward-looking indeed and finally Erick Sermon’s “Battle” reminds you of
what it was that made EPMD so special all
those years ago. This compilation is, sadly,
marred by the excess of retarded bounce
tracks and doesn’t really reflect the more
quality output that Rawkus have been
responsible for in the past. 5/10 A.R.
BS 2000 – Buddy
I had a little bit of difficulty listening to this.
The first track, Buddy, started off with some
twisting bass line that went into a sort of joke
melody. I didn’t understand the words
either, but I think that this just added to the
overall effect of the song. The second track
was a bit like crossing punk with garage,
and it felt like I was being started on by a
dwarf. The overall programming is quite
poor, and the 7 minute third track would not
lose its “magic” if it were to be cut down to
brief highlights. Unclassifiable and worth
missing. 4/10 R.P.
Recommended
NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS - ‘Shake hands with Shorty’ (Blanco y Negro)
‘Shake Hands With Shorty’ is the Blanco y Negro debut album from blues outfit: North
Mississippi Allstars. An album of real quality, the Allstars are destined to put blues back
on the map. Consisting of brothers Luther and Cody Dickinson and high school friend
Chris Chew; two thirds of the Allstars are the sons of legendary producer and musician
Jim Dickinson. Hailing from Memphis, the Allstar trio have all the right ingredients for a
successful band; there is no ‘weak-link’. Guitarist
and vocalist Luther Dickinson is exceptionally proficient, his improvisational work is refreshing. This
band have real talent. Their sound is primarily
electric with occasional rock moments. The
Allstars will appear to the majority of blues fans.
They’ve been together for four years and have
made frequent festival appearances in the US.
Sensing the time is right the Allstars have travelled to the UK in search of success. I believe
they have what it takes. 8/10 A.R.
G-MAS to bring it's tunes to
the MASSES!
get down early to take advantage of Carling for
£1 a pint 'til 11! So take a break from revision
for one night and come and have a party!
Following the success of their nights in the
Helyn Rose Bar, G-MAS is to host a night in
the main union this Saturday (25th November).
Saturdays have been dead for too long but
now you've got no excuse to stay in! G-MAS
are promising to lay on the best party on campus. The night will feature a huge range of
dance music so there should be something for
everyone. They've got live dancers on stage
and the fine scratch talents of DJ Polo. The
best of the G-MAS and GU2 DJ crew will be
playing: Old-Skool, Breakbeat, Drum 'n' Bass
and Hard House.
Entrance is only £2 all night but make sure you
The BIG One!
SATURDAY 25th NOVEMBER
MAIN STUDENT UNION
9pm-2am
The G-MAS & GU2 DJ’s collaboration, featuring:
Gaz Davies
DJ Kaz
Sonic & Tripwire
Mark Blee
Bringing you the best sounds in house, old skool, breaks, d&b and bangin’
house…all under one roof!!
Your Union Needs You
Short of a bit of cash? Like to get into the Union for Free? Got a bit of time on your hands?
The Union B & C Department is currently looking for casual student staff.
If you’d like to join our team then see one of the managers in the Union or Chancellors, or call
into the office (in the activities centre).
10
Films
FILM NEWS
Well Hello! This is where we tell you what’s
happening in showbiz. Unfortunately the
MTV Awards that were held in Stockholm
overshadowed much of the film news this
week. But the major story this week, is that
finally Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael
Douglas got married on Saturday night, at
the Russian Tea Room in New York.
Unfortunately I could not attend however all
was not lost, as most of the other major
names turned up including Brad Pitt,
Sharon Stone and Jack Nicolson. The
Film Festival Comes To
Guildford
Between the 27th and 30th of this month the London BFI
Film Festival hits Guildford Odeon. These films will be on
showing, check the leaflets in the union for details.
American Nightmare
Director: Adam Simon
This film gives a fascinating insight into American Horror movies in
the 70s. It demonstrates the pressures and influences such men
as Wes Craven was under when their movies were produced.
Night of the Living Dead and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre feature during this film so if you are a fan of such spooky flicks this is
one for you.
bride to be managed to turn up late. The
wedding has said to cost up to 1.2 million
dollars!
Lovely Ant & Dec have left the BBC in
favour of ITV to launch their new series
called Slap Bang- how nice! The boys are
being paid 1 million each for the teen programme that should be on your television
Beautiful Creatures
Ever dreamt of entering that glitzy, heady
world of film stars? Well, last week my trusty
colleague Tom Sugarman and I set foot in
that emporium of fantasy. No, we didn’t
make a movie or even get a non-speaking
£5-a-day part as extras, but we mixed it with
the stars.
When I say stars, I mean, well famous people like veteran film buff Barry Norman, up
and coming director Bill Eagles and that
most illustrious of DJ’s, Doctor Fox – what a
hero!
How did we find ourselves in such company
you may well ask? Answer, we were invited
Steve Bushemi’s second directorial offering is much darker than his to a freebie press junket preview of the soonfirst, Trees Lounge. It follows the path of a 21-year-old middle class to-be-released black comedy Beautiful
man who is sent to prison for dealing pot. In the cells Ron Decker Creatures starring Susan Lynch and Rachel
( Edward Furlong) causes a stir with his good looks attracting much Weiz.
attention, but help is at hand in the form of protection from a gangleader. Their relationship provides the basis for the film with an Never ones to look a celluloid gift horse in
the mouth, not to mention a free lunch and
excellent cast and some witty lines.
consorting with “personalities”, your trusty
Post Mortem
Barefacts correspondents naturally agreed
Director: Louis Belanger
to attend the event.
State and Main
Director: David Mamet
State and Main follows a film crew trying to produce a costume
drama in a small town. With the leading actor constantly drunk and
after young girls, the scriptwriter with writer’s block and the tart costar who refuses to go nude, things don’t exactly go to plan. This
film is endearing and hilarious, definitely one for the girls.
screens in a few months.
New releases- Charlie’s Angels staring Bill
Murrey, Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore
and Lucy Liu. The hi-tech update of the popular 70’s detective show hits the big screen
this Friday. Also out soon Jim Carreys new
movie The Grinch so be sure to look out for
our reviews on these films.
The Student Press Preview of...
Animal Factory
Director: Steve Buschemi with Danny Trejo
The film is based around true events and looks at the life of single
mother, Linda and her quest of but a home in the country for her
daughter. The way she does this is buy seducing rich men (
sounds perfectly reasonable !) However, things don’t go to plan
when an angry morgue worker turns the tables.
23/11/00
Getting there was worthy of a film itself. The
journey was great – the trains actually ran on
time that day – but things went down hill on
our arrival to Piccadilly. Tom and I both pretended we knew where we were going but
sadly – we lie! The brief synopsis is that we
now know Piccadilly very well, we are on first
name terms with corner shopkeepers near
Beautiful Creatures is a dark comedy thriller
and is the first film to be produced by DNA
film’s, one of 3 British studios to receive
funding from the National Lottery.
The film’s storyline revolves around a
chance meeting between Petula (Rachael
Weisz), the long-suffering girlfriend of drunken and oafish but wealthy Brain, and Dorothy
(Susan Lynch). Dorothy is just about to
board a coach to London to escape her violent drug addict boyfriend. On boarding the
coach Dorothy’s dog, Pluto, runs off leading
Dorothy to see Petula being throttled by
Brian. In the ensuing fracas Dorothy strikes
Brian unconscious with a nearby scaffolding
pole. In panic, Petula and Dorothy take Brain
back to Dorothy’s house and dump Brian in
the bath. He subsequently dies as he falls
from the bath, cracking his head open on the
bathroom floor.
From this point on Dorothy and Petula take
drastic and increasingly elaborate measures
to conceal Brian’s death. What is almost
unique about Beautiful Creatures, is that the
central relationship in the film is between to
females. There is an obvious parallel
between ‘Thelma and Louise’. In this and
Beautiful Creatures there are 2 female leads,
one of whom is in a relationship with a domineering male and in both films two women
are being pursued for murder. I am pleased
to say that like ‘Thelma and Louise’, Petula
and Dorothy have an excellent chemistry
which derives from their differences – Petula
immaculately presented and wealthy but
dopey whereas Dorothy is streetwise but
impoverished. However, their relationship is
better defined by their similarities – their
desire to escape odious partners.
the cinema and we’ve worn out 2 good pairs
of Nikes.
We burst into the preview theatre like
Indiana Jones and friend just in time for the
free lunch – thankfully. The complimentary
drinks went down a treat but meant a sudden
dash for the loos was needed just before the
showing. Unfortunately for Barry Norman,
he chose to be leaving the cloakroom just as
I was going in at 90 mph. I think he’ll be
alright when the bruising goes down and I’m
hoping he’s not going to sue me for assault.
It was an accident, I promise.
I decided to keep well away from other
famous people at the event as I was obviously not safe to be let out into the community that day. When it came to meeting Bill
Eagles I left the questioning to the posey
journalists with their laptops buzzing and
egos swelling. To be honest it was as much
fun watching the “I’m-a-star-journalists” and
wannabe directors in action as the film itself.
All in all it was a great day. Beautiful
Creatures is to be recommended despite
being a little gory in places. It will be on general release in the New Year.
Ps: If you are going to London I advise taking an A – Z!
Libby Hurt
DNA’s first film covers some unpleasant subject matter such as domestic violence and
drug addiction yet is able to be humorous
without appearing awkward. One of the best
lines in the film comes from a policemen
when he believes Dorothy is about to commit
suicide jumping off a bridge, ‘If you are going
to kill yourself go home and take an overdose’. Perhaps the most humorous line,
though certainly crude, comes when a detective questions Petula about Brian’s whereabouts and says, ‘Are there any accessible
backdoor entrances I can use?’ this after
Dorothy accidentally switches on a home
movie where Petula is receiving anal sex.
Beautiful Creatures is clearly a triumphant
debut for DNA films and debutante director
Bill Eagles. It is a vast improvement on
recent British films notably the horrific
attempt at acting by the ‘All Saints’. Beautiful
Creatures is an original and funny film that
deserves much success at the box office.
Tom Sugarman
Ofu
23/11/00
Insert Clever Headline Here
This week, OFU are showing two more excellent
films: all part of the reparations assigned to us for
screening “8MM” last night. And so, this Sunday
we bring you Franc Roddam’s screen adaptation
of the Who’s rock opera “Quadrophenia”, starring
Phil Daniels, Sting, and Ray Winstone; and follow
it up on Monday with Michael Mann’s epic tale of
corruption, betrayal and lies in the cigarette industry, “The Insider”, starring Al Pacino. Whilst
University Arts Cinema this Wednesday is
screening Warren Beatty’s controversial political
satire, “Bulworth”.
But first, “Quadrophenia”. Set in the world of the
infamous mid-60s Brighton riots between Mods
and Rockers, the film is all about Jimmy (Phil
Daniels). Jimmy is a Mod, caring for little else but
keeping his scooter in spare parts and himself in
sharp suits. Jimmy wants to be different, to stand
apart, to not be counted with others. The irony,
then, that he finds an identity that satisfies his confused desires in the herd of parka-donning and
scooter-riding Mods is pointed and one that eventually becomes just as apparent to him as it does
to his exasperated but loving parents.
For Jimmy, Modness is all that he lives for - it is
quite literally a way of life, a community, a chance
to be special. To everyone else it’s merely something fun to do at the weekends. In such a way,
“Quadrophenia” pinpoints the teenage alienation
that soon heads into amphetamine-fuelled paranoia for the impressionable and vulnerable lead.
“Quadrophenia” is a vibrant and angry film, with
a frustration and anger that leaps from the screen.
Director Franc Roddam never fails to lose the storyline in the chaotic scenes as Jimmy and his
friends are plunged straight into a Bank Holiday
riot at Brighton, and elicits some marvelous individual performances as well. This movie, rereleased last year on its
twentieth anniversary, is a serious treat for Who
fans and regular punters alike. Come see.
Michael Mann’s “The Insider” is a dark and
seamy portrait of industrial intrigue and lies at the
heart of the tobacco industry. Nominated at the
1999 Academy Awards for Best Picture, it delivers
an object lesson in how to set tension and drama
without bombast, not to mention stunning performances from Al Pacino, Russell “Gladiator”
Crowe, and Christopher Plummer.
When Dr Wigand, former VP of tobacco company B&M, decides to blow the whistle on the
industry, he sets a turbulent series of events in
motion that see him risking everything against the
might of an industry desperately seeking to preserve its business.
University Arts Cinema this week brings you
lucky people Warren Beatty’s highly controversial
political satire, “Bulworth”. In which a suicidally
depressed politician takes out a contract on his
own life, and sets about telling the truth to people.
Being honest. Disorientating concept, isn’t it?
In any case, Beatty - who wrote, directed, produced, and starred in this remarkable work - takes
the opportunity to lift the lid on the political process,
and how it affects, among other things, the film
industry, race relations, education, and healthcare.
Although it became rapidly notorious for its
scene featuring Beatty taking to the stage and
rapping in a scabrous send-up of political candidates attempting to get `down with the kids`,
“Bulworth” is deserving of much more consideration as a thrillingly adventurous, dangerous, and
exciting film. A must-see.
And in two weeks time, the main event... “Toy
Story 2” here on campus!
OFU Team
11
Life, Gossip, & the Universe
23/11/00
LIFE AFTER
Big Sister
So lads and ladettes have you
settled down to revision?
Because this week you have
been an incredibly dull lot.
Except for the boys who call
themselves the campus porn
stars, keep it coming, it sounds
promising!
They were caught out by the
god fearing Septics again, especially Dave who still can't seem to
deliver the goods late at night,
those American nickers are a real
struggle to remove!
Matt is back in town so lock up
your daughters, Meatball Matt is
here with a vengence and dancing as furiously as ever.
Dan rumour has it you're a tart?
Get your facts right girls, Dan is
the most lovable of them all, if
ever intuition was wrong, well talk
Horoscopes
13
about missing an open goal.
And if we could have the translation for this next bit I'd love to
know what you have got to offer!
Yag ska knulla alting Svenska till
2001, du ska bli et med mej....
Hold tight
Jon, poor Jon, will you visit
Finland, or just stay with Dan and
comfort his reputation, thats your
mate she's talking about, no MBM
here please??? Poor misguided
souls these women.
Cheers you cheeky pornstars!
Sideshow bob is up to his old
tricks again wrestling at 4:30am
with the one and only
Stobbsy....you know better than
to argue over Dale Winton and
Matthew Kelly? Dale has my
vote....Fight, fight, fight.
Have you heard the one about
the blondie, the dark one and the
ginger one? Well on Thursday
night a few newspapers went
missing from parts of Guildford.
You naughty lads!
A conversation overheard in
Chancellors on Saturday reveal
there has been a few naughty
girls out there. Doing the dirty
behind your Finnish blokeys back
isn't on! Still if it was only a snog
and not the full hog I am sure Big
Sister will let you off.
Unicorn? Why haven't you
been filling me in lately keep the
gossip coming after all I am still
watching and doing my damndest
to find something gory to write!!
Tinkerbell
Gorgeous_babe69@hotmail.com
by Arcane Ali
Scorpio Oct 24th - Nov 22nd
A time for generosity and kindness is
upon you all this week. Brush the cobwebs off you wallet and treat you nearest
and dearest to something special.
Lucky pic ‘n’ mix: milk bottles
Sagittarius Nov 23rd - Dec 21st
You know you should get a job over
Christmas but you don’t want to sacrifice
your social life. The solution is to become
a post man. Yes you have to get up early
but you can then catch up on sleep and
party all night.
Lucky pic ‘n’ mix: Liquorice laces
Capricorn Dec 22nd - Jan 20th
Time to update your wardrobe. Take
those old clothes to the nearest charity
shop and go shopping! The sky is the
limit as you next loan cheque will arrive in
September.
Lucky pic ‘n’ mix: chocolate covered
peanuts
Aquarius Jan 21st - Feb 19th
Your love life is on the up. It won’t be long
before you have too many admirers to
choose between…Who said you have to,
maybe they are all happy to share you.
Lucky pic ‘n’ mix: jelly spider
Pisces Feb 20th - Mar 20th
After all that organising you did last week
you can relax. You are up to date with
most things except a man - go out there
and get one,…or two if you like!
Lucky pic ‘n’ mix: Chocolate mice
Aries Mar 21st - April 20th
You’d better start making your Christmas
cake this week so that all your friends can
stir it and make a wish. Remember to
only use legal ingredients.
Lucky pic ‘n’ mix: White choc buttons with
100’s and 1000’s on!
Taurus April 21st - May 21st
This is your week to travel. Go and visit
some old friends in distant places. The
stars are spelling out Birmingham or
Manchester but you could always just
watch a holiday program on T.V.
Lucky pic ‘n’ mix: chocolate covered
raisins
Gemini May 22nd - June 21st
You are going to have a fantastic time
with the Surrey Mingers soon. All I can
say is make the most of it, your pulling
power won’t last forever (and watch out
for the falling Angels).
Lucky pic ‘n’ mix: fudge.
Leo July 24th - Aug 23rd
Your love is definitely on the up this week.
Make the most of it and seize every
opportunity that comes along.
Lucky pic ‘n’ mix: jelly lips
Virgo Aug 24th - Sept 23rd
This week will show a change in direction
for you. No longer will you follow the herd
like a lost sheep, it is your turn to be
assertive and lead others. Just make sure
to lead them down the right path.
Lucky pic ‘n’ mix: cola bottles
Libra
Sept 24th - Oct 23rd
Christmas is creeping up on us. Get
ahead of the game and start some of that
Xmas shopping before the crowds. The
stars predict some huge bargains lurking
at the back of shelves.
Lucky pic ‘n’ mix: flumps
fantasies to your room instead?
*Tom Sugarman - what were you doing
wednesday night?? I thought I was the
only girl for you! Love K.x
*Alex, sleep less, play less, work harder!!!
*Where's the little green irish man these
days?? Still sitting on top of the world, or
hanging around the hospital instead??
*Jamie,freshers week is over, lectures
HAVE started!
*hansolo, don't you just hate it when posh
people snort?
*To all the MONOPOLY players: I love
you baby, And if its quite alright, We're
gonna stay in this pub, And sing this song
all night!
*Mr Goldberg, so the champagne's on
you next time?
*Why do the HCR Reps always get so
wet?
*BONE and ORANGE, how many shots?
*HCR Rep MC, you are the weakest link,
goodbye!
*Poison - can Noises buy u a drink from
the otherside of the bar? If so, time and
WOMB
by Rich W
You know how sometimes you'll be having a conversation
with some people, and suddenly you haven't the faintest idea
how you arrived at the subject matter you are talking about?
I don't think it's a good idea to let your pet hamster smoke.
Don't get me wrong here, animals smoking in general is a
good idea - if there was a 'let's-campaign-for-the-right-of-allanimals-to-smoke-except-hamsters' movement going on, I'd
be the first one there with my banners, but the hamster
thing...it just doesn't work.
Why do I think this? Imagine, if you will, your hamster's
wheel - the thing he runs around in pointlessly for hours
because he's under the illusion it's good for him - is connected to some sort of electricity generator, and the energy created by your hamster helps, well, generate electricity. Imagine
the effect his smoking would have on the output of electricity
generated! I think I hear your nods of agreement when I say
that it would catastrophically catastrophic. The poor blighter
would only be able to run for 5 minutes before he became
knackered, and that is not good, for your electricity supply or
for the hamster.
So, if like me, you have a penchant for considering possibilities other than those presented to you, you'll be asking yourself : "I wonder if any other animals can be used effectively to
create energy?". Well, my little english chums, the answer is
yes, and when I tell you that the alternative is brilliant, you'd
better believe it.
For those who own a cat, you will know full well that should
you stroke the cat the wrong way, you'll get a bit of static
build-up in it's fur, as well as pissing it off somewhat. So
there it is - the implications are far- reaching...if there was
some way of harnessing this static (which is, of course, electrical energy) we could power lots of little things, using the
energy as a substitute for batteries, or whatever it is that acts
as a source of energy for small things.
But imagine for a second if we could genetically engineer big,
fuck-off, huge cats - cats so big they would fill a very, very big
room, and imagine further that we could get some sort of
automatic stroker that, ermm, strokes these cats backwards,
hence creating an untold wealth of electrical energy - we
could power cities from this, people, and the whole naturalpower/nuclear-power/any-bloody-power problem would be a
thing of the past; we probably wouldn't even need fossil fuels
anymore...these cats truly would be the mutts-nuts.
Their uses don't end there, though: the fact that they have to
be genetically engineered allows us to incorporate many
other beneficial qualities into their function, as well as producing energy. The main thing we could do is breed them so
that they ate nuclear waste as food (instead of whiskers, say)
and their bodies could process it and give us oxygen or some
other organic material, thus eradicating the nuclear waste
problem. You see - the beauty lies of these big cats lies in
the simplicity of their existence.
Cancer June 22nd - July 23rd
The library is calling you! To take out a
book you actually do have to go INSIDE
the building. It may look big and scary but
do you want to pass your degree?
Lucky pic ‘n’ mix: dolly mixtures
Personals
*FOUND: Several pairs of male underwear, jockstraps, cricket cups and suspenders. Contact: Janet; Battersea Court
Reception- if you dare....
*Sub...........Kez is Reddy for ya!!!
*Anecdote boy and his Chris, Nath the
dancing queen, lighweight Kier, the Chief,
luminous bra girl and the queen carrot
peeler - lets all do it again!
*GL - Great ball control!!
*Ali.P. - You are fantastic and making
someone extremely happy, ME
*Donna, stop laughing! Some people are
trying to sleep!
*Do you know where the the three lions
come from? Chandros does....that'll f**kin'
learn ya...
*Tom you may be on 18 but I'd still help
you with your coursework especially practicals!!
*Hey house hope you enjoyed the birthday party, who did the clearing up?? I'm
sorry about the obsessions, I'm sure there
will be a new one next week. Arty
*T-I've had enough of K, can I bring my
THE
place please.
*Welcome back 'old' Mike. 3 in 3 days is
approaching the MuntSoc '99 levels!
*Can all footballers bring their deposits for
tour this Saturday!
*Beware of young chefs wearing 'innocent' young ladies thongs around your
house late at night...
*Here's a map of the store... which way's
North?!!! Here's a map of the store...
which way's North?!!! Here's a map of ...
*Spectrum Sunday morning lane swimming* (apparantely) not a better way to
start your day!!
*Doorbell from SHC 30 missing... last
seen on Monday nite! Description: Black
and bell shaped - doh! Please return!
*So, Deb’s wanna try my gearstick out for
size?
*Wendy Minger, watch ya back we know
what you doing
*T, the sex god of cath court
*JB, you are the weakest link, goodbye
*Time for Trumpton
Another thing we could do is store like, five of these things at
the millenium dome and get people to come and pay to see
how the whole thing works...so then we know what to do with
the dome when the year is out and we generate millions of
pounds to pay off the damn thing's debts...correct me if I'm
wrong here, but I believe the expression is 'kill two birds with
one stone' (although, if you could do that in real life, you'd
have to have some shot).
So yeah...big cats and free power - it really is the bollocks.
Obviously, somewhere in the genetic process of creating the
saviours of civilisation you may have to incorporate some sort
of sedation hormone that means the cats don't get really
pissed off when continuously stroked backwards. I wouldn't
like to think of the damage they could cause if they weren't
placated properly...just look at the marshmellow man in
ghostbusters...it'd be terrible.
But the point is that it could work and as a result, we could
live for another hundred million gazillion years with no fear of
running out of fuel, and so, if they really, really wanted to, any
hamster in the world could smoke as many fags as he (or
she) wanted, and that is what really matters - having a happy
hamster.
14
Lifestyle & Societies
Dr Russ
Dear Russ
I’ve got interviews coming up and I hate the
thought of having to ‘sell’ myself. It all seems
so artificial. Do I have to play their silly games?
Dear Nicola
I guess what’s really gnawing at you is the worry
that you think you’ll have to pretend to be someone
you’re not in order to impress the interviewer. Let
me reassure you that employers want to see the
real person, not an actor! At the same time, they do
want you to sound enthusiastic about working for
them. After all, how can they know you really want
the job unless you tell them!
Let me give you an example of how this works in
practice. I once interviewed six graduates for a job
in the Careers Service at one of the London
Colleges. They all had 2.1’s, they were all perfectly qualified and they were all extremely pleasant. If
only I’d had six jobs to fill I’d have been laughing!
But I didn’t. Fortunately, at the end of every interview I asked them all the same question. “If I were
to offer you this job what would you say?” I hated
myself for asking it, but I kind of felt it might prove
crucial. It did. The first five answered “I’d be very
interested in it”, the last answered “I’d really love
this job”. No prizes for guessing who I offered it to.
You see, not only did the sixth candidate come out
with a more convincing answer, she also sounded
as if she really meant it. It’s not just what you say
that’s important, it’s also how you say it.
WHAT IS THE LINKS SOCIETY?
Would you know what to do if you found your flatmate unconscious? What about if your friend got hit by a car? No. Then
come along to the St John Ambulance LINKS society to find out
what you could do to help.
St John Ambulance is the leading First Aid training organisation in the country and volunteer members carry out First Aid to
the public. LINKS is the unit for students, allowing them to
become involved or remain involved with St John. The society
has been up and running since Freshers Fayre and although
we have some new members we still need more. The new
members are currently completing an Essential Care Skills
course which incorporates First Aid, Care and Manual
Handling. Sessions have included management of unconscious casualties, bleeding, Cardio-pulmonary resuscitation,
infection control and human rights. Plus we always find time to
eat cookies and jam donuts and meetings are often followed by
a trip to the bar. We recently had an evening of casualty makeup where great fun was had slitting wrists and slapping faces!
We hope in the future to stage a major incident with LINKS
members being casualties and doing the makeup, enabling the
local division to practise their skills.
Training opportunities open to LINKS members are First Aid
courses, Automated External Defibrillator course (the buzzy
heart thing they use on casualty and ER!) , Ambulance Aid, and
radio courses. When members are fully qualified we will carry
out public duties both in the students union and off campus i.e.
festivals, theatres, sports events and the London Marathon. If
you fancy getting into a theatre free and possibly even a footChair Jo trains one of her
subjects in the ‘kiss of life’
Before you go for an interview you’ve got to convince yourself you really want the job. Your enthusiasm, motivation, ambition and interest will not only
drive you through the interview, but will also “colour”
how you answer their questions. Employers are
always on the look out for commitment, loyalty and
energy in their applicants. All other factors being
equal, they’re bound to prefer people who give the
impression that they really want the job.
Russ Clark
Careers Service
Cindy’s Minibus
Every Monday Night
Leaving Chancellors between 10pm
–11.30pm
Pick up from Cindie’s between
1.15am –2.30am
Hazel Farm
Every Wednesday and Friday Night
Pick Up at Hazel Farm Bus stop
(Senate University)
1.45am –2.45am
23/11/00
Links members, complete with Anne
ball match, then think about becoming a volunteer.
However if you are beginning to get a bit bored and think all we
do is First Aid then you are wrong. In the future we hope to
organise adventure activities, fundraising, a trip to the local fire
station (Wendy’s favourite) and of course social events. I am
looking for people to become involved in a Drug Awareness
scheme, teaching younger members of St John and school
children about the dangers of drugs. Also there are chances to
go to National LINKS dinners, balls and conferences therefore
meeting new people from all over the country.
You don't have to join St John to come along to
our society and it is not just a society for nurses.
Anyone is welcome to attend the meetings or just
attend a First Aid course. We aim to run a 4 day
Health and Safety Executive recognised First Aid
at Work course in February 2001. Look out for
more information on this after Christmas and do
think about it. You never know when you might be
faced with an emergency situation and the qualification may earn you extra money if you have a
part time job. So, if you want to learn new skills,
enhance your CV and meet new people then
email me at nm81jp or come along to one of our
meetings. They are held on Tuesdays 7.309.30pm in TB11.
by Joanne Payne (Links Chair)
Notices
Culture
Culture &
& Events
Events
4th December
GMR, 5pm
Society
Society Standing
Standing
LTE 6pm
AGM’s
Photo
Photo Soc
Soc AGM
AGM
12th December
TB 1, 6pm
EARS
EARS
15th December
30AA21, 17.30
Try It & Societies
23/11/00
opposition has the ‘disc’ and then to lose
your marker when you have possession. In
essence, this means you are running continuously until someone gets the ‘disc’ into the
endzone.
Ultimate Frisbee
Due to coercion from the editorial team I
decided to write my very own ‘Try it’ column.
I had no particular inclination towards
‘Ultimate Frisbee’ but Luke our Deputy Ed
happens to be the chairman of the Ultimate
Frisbee society and he seemed keen for me
to drum up some publicity for the club. When
you think of throwing a Frisbee you don’t
imagine that this will entail chronic fatigue
but Ultimate Frisbee is tiring, very tiring.
Richard Rees, 1st team ‘Ultimate Frisbee’
captain says, ‘It is easy to pick up, it will
improve your fitness and everyone’s welcome especially women!’ (Rich wanted me
to point out that some girls attend ‘Ultimate
Frisbee’ regularly. ‘Ultimate Frisbee’ is an
enjoyable, very sociable sport but I’d definitely recommend going to the gym first!
Left:
Tom tries frisbee
throwing
Below:
Rich vs Rich
By Tom Sugarman
Ultimate Frisbee - Sundays 12pm - 2pm
Campusport Hall
To start with I was paired up with one of the
more experienced players who informed me
that there were 2 basic throws - the backhand and the forehand.
After practising both the backhand and the
trickier forehand we were divided into teams
to play a game. The opposing teams face
opposite each other on a rectangular pitch.
One team throws the ‘disc’ into the opposition half, which signals the start of the game.
A ‘goal’ is scored once the ‘disc’ is passed
into the opposition end zone. Not surprisingly, you can’t run with the ‘disc’. The disc
changes possession when the ‘disc’ touches
the floor.
Previously I said the game was tiring. After
a 2 hour session of ‘Ultimate Frisbee’ my
muscles had turned to jelly. One of the main
principles of ‘Ultimate Frisbee’ is to mark the
same person throughout the game when the
Surrey Pride
15
SURREY PRIDE
W INNING W OMENS WATERPOLO
There’s No Stopping us Now!!
Well, thank you to those of you
who kept fingers crossed for us, as
yesterday the Women’s Waterpolo
team quite literally fought their way
to the next round of BUSA. With a
horrendously early start for everyone, we made our way up to
Cambridge for the first round tournament
against
Cambridge,
University
of
London
and
Southampton. We were late (as
ever!) but were up second, so got
time to size up the competition.
Somewhere along the way, we
have been lumbered with the reputation of being a bit violent (Don’t
know how - we’re such nice girls!)
and so the teams were out to get
us in force. This didn’t bother us
too much though, as we had brand
new printed costumes and hats,
kindly paid for by our coach, bless
him!!
The first match was against
Cambridge, and they were brutal.
Raffaella had a thump to her face,
Susie got hit in her eye by the ball,
and Carmen’s brand new costume
will never be quite the same after
being torn. We played very well,
but Cambridge have really
improved since last year, and gave
us a run for our money. Barbara
was goal crazy, and scored the 3
that drew us with them.
Second up was the University of
London (a sort of mixture of lots of
teams) who had been beaten by
Cambridge already, giving us
hope! Heather and Carmen came
into their own here, and we beat
them 4-3. Tennille was superb in
goal, often on the receiving end of
some thumps herself, but never
giving in. It was Barbara’s turn for
pain this time, with plenty of ‘cat
scratching’ from the other team!
Possibly our finest victory was that
over Southampton. A couple of
weeks ago we beat them 10-4, and
the thought of losing so drastically
again scared them away from actu-
F OOTBALL
Kingston Rippers
BUSA Group Phase Rd3
Kingston 0 Surrey 6 (Turner4,
Hemmings2)
Super Surrey returned to form with a bang
against a formidable Kingston squad.
Kingston went into the game full of confidence, riding high at the summit of the
group table and were being strongly tipped
to the win the group after comfortable beating previous finalists Reading earlier in the
group stages. However, after 3 draws in a
row, below par personal performances, and
Bedfordesque decisions, the all conquering
Surrey had a point to prove, and prove it
they did. Never before has such champagne football been displayed by the Manor
Farm boys, with all Coach Jim’s crazy ideas
coming to fruition on the pitch all at the
same time.
The game commenced at break neck
speed with both teams attacking with power
and precision. Kingston had the better of
the early chances, however, it wasn’t long
until Steve “who let him out” Catt got his
grip on the game, allowing the technical
abilities of the prodigal sons to slice and
dice the lacklustre Kingston defence. 25
minutes into the game Surrey got their
reward as Lee Turner slipped through
Kingstons leaky defence to superbly lob the
stranded monkey in goal. The remainder of
the first half saw Surrey battle for every half
chance, and deservedly go in at half time 10 to the good.
The second half saw the finest 45 minutes
in USFC history as Surrey displayed magnificence wing and counter attacking football to complete the demolition of Kingstons
depleted ranks. Once again, Kingston started strongly but it was only a matter of time
before the prodigal sons were ramping the
Kingston penalty area. With 50 minutes on
the clock Turner struck for his second, as
Walker whipped in a sublime cross that
most defences would struggle to deal with.
At 2-0 down, an unusual event for Kingston,
their heads started to go and MOM Steve
Catt increased his influence with superb
linkage play with Hemmings and Turner to
complete Turner’s hat-trick. 2 minutes later
it has Hemmings turn to get in on the act, as
his mazy run around four defenders and the
keeper allowed him a simple tap in.
In the final 15 minutes Surrey sat back
absorbing the Kingston pressure with ease,
with Ramsay, Lassin, and Batty easily disposing their attackers at every attempt. It
was at this point that the counter-attacking
football came into play. The fourth came
from a broken down corner quickly released
by Gurtin to Batty who in turn allowed the
menacing Walker to humiliate their full back
once again and swing another orgasmic
cross for Hemmings to expertly finish first
time. No sooner had Kingston restarted
than Surrey forced them to retreat, and
from the keepers clearance, Robinson rose
superbly to release a 30 yard header/pass
for Turner to accelerate through on goal
and coolly dispatch the ball pass the stranded and despairing keeper for Surrey’s fifth
and his fourth.
The rout was complete 2 minutes from
time, when another Walker cross caused
havoc for the keeper who fumbled allowing
Hemmings to tap in his second. However,
the game wasn’t finished as Walker still had
ample time to get in his obligatory off the
ball incident, much to the annoyance of his
minder, Ramsay.
Praise has to go out to every member of
the squad, superb. Gaz Walters, play like
that every game and you will be a regular.
Remember, minds on!
ManOfTheMatch: SteveCatt (What did the
Germans do to you?)
BananaOfTheMatch: Dominic Walker
(Composure in front of goal fuzzy, composure!)
ally turning up at all! As we had
some pool time left due to
Southampton being chickens, we
played
a
friendly
against
Cambridge to finish off, letting
newies Jen and Sarah get a
chance for some action.
After all this battling and bruising
we all felt in need of a Maccie D’s,
so wandered off into Cambridge on
our search. What a culture shock!
So much for being bustling and
lively - no-one seemed to speak
above a whisper! This was not our
kind of thing, so we legged it home.
barefacts for the piccies, including
a revealing shot of Carmen’s torn
costume! Better still, if you want to
see us do battle in the flesh, then
turn up at the Spectrum on Monday
27th November between 9-10pm
to see us thrash Southampton
once more.
Well done to all the girls for playing
so well, and thanks as ever for the
support of Nick our coach, and
Roger our driver.
Sarah Bowen
Wish us luck for the next round,
and keep your eyes glued to
MWC
The weekly meeting of the Mountain
Walking Club was rather slower than
usual this Tuesday, as on Monday night,
we’d gone out to Cindi’s. We were
pleased to see that so many people turned
up, and everyone had a lot of
fun! Pete was still sticking to his ‘moderation drnking’ diet and only
drank Red Bull. We are impressed Pete,
very impressed. On the other end of
the scale, Richard decided he needed at
least 8 pints before venturing onto
the dance floor. He hadn’t reckoned on
Maddie however, who got him onto the
dancefloor after 6 pints (under protest of
course!) and dancing
the Conga
after 7! Mike, Evan,
Jose and Eva all
stayed reasonably
sober, to varying
degrees.
cafe whilst waiting for Pete to get his car
repaired and join us... It was
great! Congratulations to Mike and Heidi
for the yodelling - you certainly
kept us amused!
If anyone is interested in joining us, or just
wants to yodel, please
contact
us
at
mountainwalking@surrey.ac.uk
If any of you have already taken the Union
minibus driving test and would
like to drive for us, please let me know
asap! We are desperately in need
The
following
Saturday,
when
everyone had recovered, there was
another
walk. Having scared
everyone away by
my suggestion of a
15 mile walk, we
actually walked only
6 to 8 miles. I’m not
quite sure where we
went, in
fact I’m not quite
sure who was supMWC Caught on Camera - Surfing!
posed
to
be
mapreading, but we ended up
of more drivers. If any of you have clean,
clambering up banks of brambles and manual driving licences and are
stinging nettles, along some v muddy
over 21, the Club and the Union together
paths, past the Vice-Chancellors house, will pay for you to take the Union
across a dual carriageway,
minibus test, which allows you to drive
lemming-like, and learnt to yodel. Not to minibuses under Union insurance.
mention the fabulous fry-up at a
Please contact me for more details.
S PORTING V ERNACULAR
Oh dear! After last weeks little moan, the number of articles has dropped. I only insinuated that you were a bunch of lazy, good-for-nothing, sporting types. I’m waiting to hear from Aikido
and Jui Jitsu about doing a Try-it as part of “Chops or Mince” and I am having problems even getting a message to American Football as they haven’t undated their contacts sheet. Anyway
hopefully I will have something to report back on one of those soon.
Also to feature in the not too distant future will be some Sports Profiles. So if you are wondering what members of a certain Sports Club get up to, then you can keep a look out
in the profiles. If you fancy featuring in a profile, blanks have been put in your pigeon holes and I can also e-mail you a spare copy as well.
Congratulations to Womens Waterpolo for scraping through to the next round in BUSA (keep an eye out for those photos -Sorry Carmen but if I get given a photo its probably
going to go to print), Mens Football for beating Kingston. Its good to see the mens teams writing in. Cheers also to Mountain Walking who, just for a change, have writen in again!.
Chops