Inside.. m - Felix Online

Qf
if
8
e
March
1139
1999
KEEP THE
The
CAT
FREE
S t u d e n t s ' N e w s p a p e r at
After a wait o f over five , it s e e m s that
EST. 1949
l
College
next five , w h i c h w o u l d c o v e r t h e
the residents o f s Hall m a finall c o s t o f t h e hall. This p r o p o s a l h a s h a d a
get a Village Hall. Currentl t h e hall has n o
m i x e d r e c e p t i o n . A c c o r d i n g to M s Christer
c o m m o n social area, a n d t h e c o n s t r u c t i o n
D a n n Segal ( w h o w a s unavailable at t h e
"there s e e m s to b e a g e n e r a l f e e l i n g that
t h e s t u d e n t s " a r c perfectl w i l l i n g to d o it,
of a separate b u i l d i n g to h o u s e a c o m m o n
t i m e o f writing), started a project to get a
t h e Estates p e o p l e are prett a p a t h e t i c
as l o n g as it has w h a t the w a n t in it." M a n r o o m has b e e n rejected b c o l l e g e in pre-
'village hall' built for . A c c o r d i n g
t o w a r d s us, v i e w i n g us as out o f sight, out
object to t h e m o v e o n principle, w i t h o n e
vious . H o w e v e r , t s e e m s that t h e hall
to J a s o n Bain, w h o has lived at s
of mind."
w a r d e n d e s c r i b i n g a s a "rather u g l p r e c e -
will b e built o n l if residents a g r e e to a sur-
for over five , "there ar c m a n p e o p l e
A c c r o d i n g t o n Caldwell, the Director
d e n t " . M r Bain d e s c r i b e d t h e p r o p o s a l as
c h a r g e b e i n g a d d e d to their rent to c o v e r
in c o l l e g e , for w h a t e v e r r e a s o n , don't w a n t
o f Estates, the p r o p o s e d b u i l d i n g w o u l d
" r i d i c u l o u s " , stating " t h e residents at -
t h e cost.
t h e c o m m o n r o o m built." Certainl little
cost n o m o r e t h a n
s is a c o m m u n i t o f o v e r
progress has b e e n m a d e in that t i m e - the
a m o u n t w h e n c o m p a r e d to o t h e r c o l l e g e
234s 567 " H e w e n t o n to explain that "the
three h u n d r e d students, both undergrad-
project has b e e n dis cu s s ed in c o l l e g e c o m -
projects. A s t h e b u i l d i n g is part o f a resi-
situation w i t h t h e c o m m o n r o o m is o n e of
&'()**0 - a s m a l l
p o n d s s h o u l d not b e s i n g l e d out to pa for
it w o u l d h a v e t o b e m a n factors w h i c h h a s l e a d m e to resign
uates a n d p o s t g r a d u a t e s , c o n s i s t i n g o f
mittees, s u c h as the w a r d e n s ' s u b - c o m -
dence, however,
flats w i t h i n several h o u s e s . T h e entire site
m i t t e e a n d the Rector's C o m m i t t e e o n
f r o m t h e p o s i t i o n o f Assistant W a r d e n . "
w a s a residential d e v e l o p m e n t that w a s
S t u d e n t R e s i d e n c e s , p r o p o s a l s h av e b e e n
f u n d e d f r o m t h e r e s i d e n c e s a c c o u n t . This
+
is t h e crux o f t h e p r o b l e m - ever ,-. r
b o u g h t b t h e c o l l e g e part w a t h r o u g h its
t h e s e f u n d s h av e b e e n a l l o c a t e d to p r o -
is similar; "0 can't b e l i e v e C o l l e g e c a n be s o
construction, a n d has s i n c e b e e n t u r n e d
put f orw ard , a n d t h e matter has t h e n b e e n
quietl f o r g o t t e n a b o u t . A s current w a r d e n
jects d e e m e d
# . T h e r e is a g l i m m e r o f h o p e for -
into w h a t is i n a p p r o p r i a t e l c a l l e d a vil-
! " r put it, # $ % t h o u g h t it w a s
lage. b e c a u s e s
a g o o d idea, but n o t h i n g h a p p e n e d " .
has never h a d a n social a r e a or c o m m o n
to b e m o r e
important.
/
college
David Hellard has m a d e clear his o p i n i o n
, M a r k "
r w a s told b
p o n d s , h o w e v e r ; M r C a l d w e l l cautiousl that "there isn't the f u n d s available". M r
stated that t h e r e " m i g h t b e the potential to
Apparentl s o m e m e m b e r s of college have
C a l d w e l l di d , h o w e v e r , that h e " c o u l d
find s o m e f u n d i n g f r o m s o m e w h e r e else
r o o m ; J o a n n e Christer, a s u b w a r d e n at
s u g g e s t e d that not all t h e s t u d e n t s at , d e s c r i b e d t h e TV r o o m a s " a p o n d s w a n t t h e hall to b e built, a n a c c u -
s e e the s t u d e n t s ' v i e w " , stoicall stating "0
o t h e r t h a n s t u d e n t s ' 8# . M a r k
build w h a t 1m told to b u i l d " .
s u m m e d u p t h e current situation 9666:-
g a r a g e w i t h a f e w seats in it".
Thus in 1992 t h e t h e n n e w w a r d e n ,
sation that s t u d e n t representatives .
T h e latest plan a p p e a r s to b e to a d d
O n e senior student at t h e hall c o m m e n t e d
9 0 p o n t o 1 s w e e k l rent for t h e
s
"there is n o r e a s o n w h it c o u l d n ' t b e built
this s u m m e r . "
Inside..
C S c h o o l o f M e d i c i n e h a v e o n c e a g a i n
h o w e v e r , lapses in c o n c e n t r a t i o n c o u p l e d
c o n f i r m e d their place as o n e o f t h e t o p stu-
GHHGIJ
F
- More
with a f e w m i s s e d tackles s a w GKT c h a r g e
dent r u g b s i d e s in t h e 6 9 , after w i n -
d o w n the field to notch up their first tr a n d
n i n g t h e prestigiou s U H C u p for a s e c o n d
n a r r o w t h e g a p to e l e v e n points, t h i s s u d -
successive .
d e n i m p e t u s p r o d u c e d a n i m m e d i a t e shot
A final s c o r e l l n e o f 21-12 over f e l l o w
Editorial
moaning
MNOPQRST
L
-
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V
m
K
U
8
o f a d r e n a l i n e to GKT, w h o c a m e alive w i t h
n e w c o m e r s GKT (formerl ; 9 . Kings a n d
a burst o f p o w e r f u l . A p e n a l t ,
T h o m a s ' M e d i c a l S c h o o l s ; n o w part o f
a w a r d e d for "repeated i n f r i n g e m e n t s " w a s
Comic
Relief
Kings College) w a s t h e m i n i m u m t h e t e a m
their r e w a r d , a n d the g a p b e c a m e just
Competition
d e s e r v e d after a p e r f o r m a n c e w h i c h , i n
four points. But, w i t h the l e n s i o n n o w run= > ?@
n i n g incredibl high, <
s superiorit
ArtS
truth, w a s s u p e r i o r t o t h e o p p o s i t i o n in
+
a l m o s t e v e r d e p a r t m e n t . 0n particular,
=> ?@
s set-piece pla s a w t h e m pressurisng
<
+
GKT at ever 9 9 , t h a n k s to utter
r
efg
- d
&
12
12
14
Dolls
s h o n e t h r o u g h . A brilliant p e r i o d o f pla s a w t h e ball pass t h r o u g h the h a n d s of vir+
ba c k , b e f o r e finall b e i n g
BOOkS-HotSex
t o u c h e d d o w n in the corner, t h e c r o w d
Film
Clubscene
tuall e v e r
:
d o m i n a t i o n in t h e line-out a n d f i n e w o r k
kl
- ij is
hU
Beautiful
18
f r o m n M a c l e o d at full-
t h e s c o r e u p to 13-0. A t t e m p t i n g to fight
BC
A n earl penalt f r o m A M w a s f ol -
back, GKT m o m c n t a r i l l m o v e d out of their
w e n t wild a n d p o u r e d o n t o t h e pitch; w i t h
BC
A M n i n e poi n t s in the lead a n d less l h a n
half, b u t g o o d c o v e r w o r k c o u p l e d w i t h
five m i n u t e s t o , the result w a s n o
lowed u p with fifteen minutes during
d e c i s i v e k i c k i n g s a w o f f t h e threat, a n d
l o n g e r in d o u b t . The g a m e r e s u m e d , but
MUSiC
w h i c h t h e ball n e v e r s e e m e d t o l e a v e
a n o t h e r M a c l e o d penalt o n t h e stroke o f
a c o u p l e o f m i n u t e s later t h e ref ere e b l e w
BC
for t i m e , a n d A M C a p t a i n Ben C a r p e n t e r
Games-PoolShark
st
s t e p p e d u p to collect t h e historic E .
BC
A M Scorers:
SpOft
Departmental
v
u
z{
- Ihc next w xy
sU
with t h e b o o t
back.
GKT's 22. This non-stop pressure h a d to pa half-time p u s h e d t h e lead o u l to sixteen
off, a n d eventuall a w e l l w o r k e d back-
points.
m o v e rolled o f f a l i n e o u t a n d s a w t h e ball
After t h e interval, b o t h t e a m s c a m e
put d o w n b e t w e e n t h e posts. T h e c o n -
o u t l o o k i n g t o pla a m o r e
version, c o u p l e d with a penalt w h i c h
BC
resulted f r o m relentless A M pressure put
g a m e , w h i c h s a w t h e ball rush f r o m o n e
Penalties: n M a c l e o d (3)
e n d o f t h e pitch to t h e other. D$9 ,
C o n v e r s i o n s : n M a c l c o d (1)
expansive
- GUS GUS we 20
n onpqr
-m
- Inter
Knight
22
Tries.- J a m e s Piatt, Alistair M o r r i s
Diversions
2
s
8
Ince Inflates Food Fees
F o o d prices in t h e ICU c a t e r i n g outlets - D a
|
}
a n d Frida bar-
b e c u e a n d t h e U n i o n Bar - l o o k set t o rise
} ~
b a b o u t t e n percent across t h e
f r o m toda
b o a r d . This will m e a n that curries a r e n o w
€ ‚ƒ
  , a n d a m a i n m e a l will b e a r o u n d
‚ „ƒ
}
~
  . T h e polic w a s d e c i d e d o n b t h e
U n i o n Trading C o m m i t t e e , a n d a p p r o v e d
}
}
b C o u n c i l o n …†‡ ˆ‰ Š .
catering from other U n i o n funds, advo~
cated b t h e D P (l&S) candidates at the h u s -
Ž
Vinci's, dB's, t h e W e d n e s d a
e
tings, is "not a g o o d idea."
t h e o p e n i n g o f t h e b a g u e t t e bar in dB's
the m o v e has received a generall
}
have h a d a n effect. T h e final straw h o w e v e r
n e g a t i v e reaction f r o m s t u d e n t s h o w e v e r .
w a s a n L-U directive entitling part-time work}
ers to holida benefits, or in t h e case o f ICU

staff, a six p e r c e n t l u m p s u m p a i d ever 13
R e s p o n s e s r a n g e d f r o m "fuck off" to c o m -
weeks.
8
plaints that t h e f o o d w a s s u p p o s e d t o b e
Editor: E d S e x t o n
a service for students. O n e U n i o n figure
A s s i s t a n t Editor & Films: D a v i d R o b e r t s
q u e s t i o n e d t h e m a r k e t i n g o f t h e caterin g
N e w s Editor: A n d r e w O f o r i
effort w a s m a d e t o
outlets t h o u g h : if trade c o u l d b e b r o u g h t in
M u s i c Editors: D e n n i s P a t r i c k s o n
r e d u c e t h e losses, t h e price rises w e r e t h e
f r o m t h e C o l l e g e outlets t h e n t h e p r o b l e m s
& Jason Ramanathan
"last resort" a c c o r d i n g to a m e m b e r o f t h e
c o u l d b e solv ed. Better advertising o n c a m pus c o u l d h e l p to a c h i e v e this.
several factors i n f l u e n c i n g this loss. Biol‹Œ}
s m o v e to t h e B M S (with its College-run
Trading Committee, w h o went o n to add,
}
"We reall h a d n o o t h e r o p t i o n . C a t e r i n g
}
w a s b u d g e t e d t o b r e a k e v e n this ‡Š , but
Arts & B o o k s Editor: H e l e n a C o c h e m e
}
G a m e s Editor: G a r S m i t h
cafe), a n d i n c r e a s e d staffing costs d u e t o
it's m a k i n g a h u g e loss."
T h e r e a s o n i n g b e h i n d this m o v e is
}
that t h e outlets a r e currentl r u n n i n g at a
}
massive loss - e x p e c t e d to b e a r o u n d twent
~
thousand p o u n d s b s u m m e r . There arc
A l t h o u g h ever

Subsidising the
O n a lighter note, C o u n c i l a p p r o v e d a
pa
}
rise o f five p e n c e p e r h o u r for U n i o n
’”
staff, b r i n g i n g their w a g e s to ‘ “ 0 a n hour.
Clubscene: Giles Morrison,
G u r m i n d e r M a r w a h a & J o e l Lewis
S p o r t s Editor: G u s Paul
e
A m a n has b e e n
arrested
after a t t e m p t i n g t o steal a
•–—}—˜
e
from
College
information concerning the
Ž
premises. Three other m e n w e r e also
is h o p e f u l that "this is o n e o f t h e g r o u p s
d e t a i n e d at t h e s c e n e . It is b e l i e v e d that
~
t h e four m a b e o n e o f t h e ' g a n g s ' that
that have b e e n targeting us", reiterating his
}
b e l i e f that t h e majorit o f b i k e theft at t h e
~
c o l l e g e is carried o u t b o r g a n i s e d g a n g s .
has b e e n t a r g e t i n g Imperial C o l l e g e f o r
}
‡Šˆ. A l t h o u g h
b i k e theft in r e c e n t
pleased with the men's capture, Chief
— } —˜–
}
ˆ™ s
Securit O f f i c e r K e n W e i r w a r n e d
R e c e n t n e w s stories a n d letters s e n t
t o Felix h a v e r e o p e n e d t h e b i k e t h e f t
d e b a t e . In r e s p o n s e t o last w e e k ' s Felix,
t o b e vigilant, a n d o u t l i n e d s o m e š › œ s i n
K e n W e i r m a d e s ev era l p o i n t s . Fie a g r e e d
w h i c h students a n d staff c a n h e l p p r e v e n t
that c a m e r a s w e r e n o t a s e f f e c t i v e a s
the crimes.
,
I he
incident
^Mj£jKj^^ClW
}
žŸ
»?^'5?^fts*

b e g a n w h e n securit
guards noticed three
acting suspi ciousl o u t s i d e Bio}
c h e m i s t r at a r o u n d
}
2pm o n Thursda 2¡
¢ •
}
‡  †Š  . T h e m e n
men
£ ;
p e o p l e t e n d e d to
MM I
V*S
^*'3ir.
k lit ill
smm
because
students
a n d staff park their
bikes wherever
convenient
is
for
t h e m a n d , as h e put
it, " w e c a n n o t p u t
§
cameras
¤¥¤ ¦ -
walked off campus
w h e r e " . C a r o l Lo's
towards
a d v i c e [ s e e letters,
Queen's
Felix 11381, t o u s e
Gate, a n d w e r e chal~
}
l e n g e d b securit at
an
the
r e m o v e the saddle
junction
Ž
m e n is restricted, but K e n
}
Weir, C h i e f Securit O f f i c e r ,
of
old bike
and
:
e
Following up o n the success o f the C h e m }
ical E n g i n e e r i n g R e v u e o n 2 I e b r u a r
­ ®¯
(Felix ¬ ¬
, t h e Electrical E n g i n e e r i n g
s h o w attracte d a n a u d i e n c e o f a r o u n d
100 s t u d e n t s a n d staff w h e n t h e c u r t a i n
—•
}
†Š .
~
The
Revue, organised b
the
s t r u c k t r u e w i t h m e m b e r s o f all d e p a r t m e n t s . Later in t h e first half, five i n t r e p i d
students took to the stage to give a
}
(thankfull m i m e d ) r e n d i t i o n o f t h e S pic e
˜}
}
Girls. ±Š‰ , c a r e f u l l
choreographed
w a s raised o n 2¡ I
d a n c e r o u t i n e s s e e m e d t o h a v e b e e n for-
D e p a r t m e n t o f Electrical E n g i n e e r i n g Soci‹°
}
‡™ , i n c l u d e d a ‰
‡ n or s o acts c o v e r i n g
across t h e s t a g e . H o w e v e r , n o t h i n g c o u l d
the b r o a d s p e c t r u m o f " e n t e r t a i n m e n t " -
low:
f r o m satirical s w i p e s at s e n i o r staff t o
r e t u r n e d t o t h e s t a g e t o p e r f o r m a re-
musical n u m b e r s f r o m Guilds President
}
R e u b e n Connoll (pictured above). Also
w o r d e d version o f Robbie Williams 'Mil-
an
combat
b i k e t h e f t ; letters s h o u l d b e
}
a d d r e s s e d t o M r K e n Weir, C h i e f Securit
i n c l u d e d o n t h e bill w e r e acts f r o m staff,
O f f i c e r , S h c r f i e l d B u i l d i n g . Emails c a n b e
— ‹© — – }ª –— © — ©
Š †« . A l t h o u g h h e
s e n t t o ˆ ˆ‡ † ™
S p e n c c a n d Peter C h e u n g , w h o f o r t u }
}
}
natel s e e m e d equall h a p p t o s e n d
e m b o d i m e n t o f M r Williams himself.
themselves up.
department
ing!" The m a n a t t e m p t e d t o e s c a p e o n the
~
}
bike but w a s a c c o s t e d b a securit g u a r d
c o u l d not g u a r a n t e e h e w o u l d r e s p o n d t o

~
ever letter, h e d i d sa h e w a s o p e n t o stu}‹
d e n t o p i n i o n . In t h e m e a n time, if
u sus-
a n d a m e m b e r o f t h e Estates d i v i s i o n .
pect a theft is in p r o g r e s s , f i n d a n internal
T h e p o l i c e a r r e s t e d h i m o n arrival. A s t h e
p h o n e a n d dial 4 4 4 4 (the c o l l e g e ' s e m e r }
genc number).
Queen's
Gate and
Imperial
College
when
unattended,
A
Road. The m e n , w h o P h o t o : Rachel
all s p o k e w i t h a Liverpudlian
thanks t o securit
applauded
}
tance. While waiting for t h e police, a
fourth m a n a p p e a r e d f r o m t h e c a m p u s
with a m o u n t a i n bike. O n e o f the original
three s h o u t e d "Run, t h e police are c o m -
incident is still part o f a police investigation,
it
was
b
~
Mr
Weir.
accent,
}
~
r e f u s e d t o p r o d u c e identit c a r d s o r s a
}
whether the w e r e m e m b e r s o f t h e col}
lege. Securit t h e n r e q u e s t e d p o l i c e assis-
leaving
M r W e i r stated
¨
that h e w o u l d ver m u c h like t o hear f r o m
}
~
student w h o has a n ideas o n h o w t o
relix, Beit Q u a d , Prince Consort Road, L o n d o n SW7 2BB Internal tel:
®¸¹º
including departmental
legends Bob
A m o n g s t the other highlights of the
}
w a s Gar
Smith's rendition of
g o t t e n , in f a v o u r o f r a n d o m m o v e m e n t s
p r e p a r e t h e a u d i e n c e for w h a t w a s t o folafter
a
quick
change
Reuben
l e n n i u m ' - this t i m e entitled ' E n g i n e e r i n g ' .
}
In c o m p a r i s o n to t h e p a i n f u l qualit o f his
b a c k i n g s i n g e r s , h e l o o k e d like t h e
The
first s h o w o f its k i n d in t h e
}
for several
‡ Š  ˆ , it w a s
~
h a i l e d as a t r i u m p h b c o o r d i n a t o r S a n e l a
show
²³´µ¶·. O f course, the high attendance
"demonstrator training", which included
had n o t h i n g to d o with t h e free beer o n
classes o n student c o n f u s i o n , a v o i d i n g
the question a n d confabulation - a n d
2 Internal fax: 48072 External tel & fax: 0171
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Felix is p r o d u c e d for a n d o n b e h a l f o f Imperial C o l l e g e U n i o n Publication Board. ¾
t Á Felix 1999. P h o t o g r a p h i c


™ s r e m a i n with p h o t o g r a p h e r s .
3
s
8
In
g
d e n t s c o n t i n u e s to g r o w . B o t h T o w e r
CCU Presidents
To
R e c o r d s a n d Ernest J o n e s o n H i g h Street
Kensington n o w offer a 1 0 % discount o n
ÃÄ
Â
Rent
p r o d u c t i o n o f a U n i o n C a r d or S w i p e
Å
C a r d . A s a q u i c k r e m i n d e r , IC s t u d e n t s
T u r b u l e n t t i m e s la
C C U p r e s i d e n t s w i l l n o l o n g e r live rent-
a r e a l s o e n t i t l e d to t h e f o l l o w i n g d i s -
for c o l l e g e s e c u r i t
f r e e in Halls f o r t h e first t w o t e r m s , after
Å
Å
a m o t i o n p a s s e d b C o u n c i l last Æ Ç È É Ê Ë .
Å
A l t h o u g h t h e still h a v e t h e o p t i o n o f a
Å
Å
r o o m in Halls, t h e w i l l h a v e t o p a f o r
Å
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it. U n d e r t h e p r e v i o u s É É Ì È Í , t h e
Å
w o u l d bu beer for barnights w i t h the
Å
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m o n e the s a v e d o n rent - a legall
counts:
dubious area since the U n i o n
cannot
subsidise alcoh ol . The m o v e also stands
ÑÑÑ
ÎÌ o s a v e t h e U n i o n in e x c e s s o f ÏÐ
.
recent t u r o p e a n
H i f e k , T o p G u n , Loné
è 0
d o m D a l l a s å æ ç ç a a n d P a s t a (if o v e r
a head),
K e n s i n g t o n Leather,
Leather,
êÓËëÈØ,
ahead
Å
as
a
p u t a c o n t r a c t o u t to t e n d e r
Å
the mag-
B
was defeated b
nitude of opposition.
directive
is set t o r e f o r m their w o r k i n g w e e k a n d
Å
c o n s e q u e n t l their c o n t r a c t s .
Market
Advenlure
D e s i g n e d to "protect t h e h e a l t h a n d
Å
safet of w o r k e r s " the n e w r e g u l a t i o n s set
S h o p , 1 hr P h o t o s , f o o t l i g h t s ( F o o d
éï
Åí
ÔìÓ . Plus: T u m b l e r s î
% off food);
ï
T h e S t u d i o î ð % o f f cuts) a n d I lair at
Å
Å
Fair î è1 o f f a c u t a n d 1 0 % o f f Ë ì Ì Õ Ú ì g
a m a x i m u m w o r k i n g w e e k o f 48 h o u r s ,
Å
placing the responsibilit of c o m p l i a n c e
Å
with the È ÍÙ ÓÔ È Ø , irrespective o f h o w
Å
Å
m a n c o m p a n i e s an individual ma work
else).
for. T h e directive, w h i c h c a m e into f o r c e
AKcnsington,
Jeans
West,
Blacks, YHA
SON-
o n O c t o b e r 1 1998, g o e s o n to d e s c r i b e
a stringent set o f w o r k i n g practices includ-
Football
Imperial
Fracas
T h e IC f o o t b a l l S e c o n d s f a c e d i s c i p l i Å
nar a c t i o n t h i s w e e k after a n a l l e g e d
Earns It
i n g regular rest p e r i o d s a n d f r e e h e a l t h
Ifs o f f i c i a l - I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e is t h e his
e s t - e a r n i n g i n s t i t u t i o n in t h e
United
a s s e s s m e n t s for night staff. T h e c o l l e g e is
Å
currentl in c o n t r a v e n t i o n o f the legislaÅ
Å
tion, w i t h m a n securit staff w o r k i n g 72
ñòó9 m i l l i o n , t o p p i n g b o t h O x f o r d a n d
but as G o v e r n m e n t
Å
approval c a m e onl a few w e e k s before
Å
implementation, ÈÍÙÓÔ ÈØs have b e e n
Å
g i v e n a t e m p o r a r respite.
ator s u g g e s t i n g that a g r o u p o f IC s t u -
C a m b r i d g e . A c o m p l e t e set o f f i g u r e s
C a t e g o r i s e d as "self-determining" a c a -
dents h a d v a n d a l i s e d a train carriage,
w i l l b e p u b l i s h e d in t h e a n n u a l N o b l e ' s
Higher Educational Financial Yearbook
d e m i c staff a r c e x e m p t f r o m t h e m e a Å
Å
s u r e s as the h a v e a u t o n o m o v e r their
t o b e r e l e a s e d later t h i s s p r i n g .
w o r k i n g hours,
incident o n a train r e t u r n i n g f r o m a
Å
r e c e n t m a t c h in Ò Ó Í Ô Ç Ì Õ , w h i c h t o o k
Å
p l a c e o n 24 Ö È × Ø Ç Ë Ø . C o m p l a i n t s w e r e
Å
r e c e i v e d b C o l l e g e f r o m t h e train o p e r -
ncluding "breakages, abusive
behav-
iour, a n d v o m i t i n g " . T h e r e a s o n f o r this
b e h a v i o u r w a s put d o w n to
hours
K i n g d o m . A r e p o r t in T h e T i m e s H i g h e r
E d u c a t i o n s u p p l e m e n t r e v e a l s that t h e
C o l l e g e ' s total i n c o m e for 1998 w a s o v e r
"extreme
nebriation".
A c c o r d i n g to s o u r c e s c l o s e t o t h e
You Must
Be
Joking
team, the students involved are admitt i n g that t h e i r a c t i o n s d i d c r o s s t h e l i n e ,
Å
Å
but will a s k to b e t r e a t e d É Í Ù Ë Ì Õ È Ì Ú Û Ë Ó Ó
Underground no longer need complain
a s t h i s w o u l d b e t h e i r first o f f e n c e .
A
ÞßàáÃâÄ
ÜÝ
I m p e r i a l s t u d e n t s c o m i n g in to c l a s s e s
Å
Å
f r o m afar o n the L o n d o n
ÈôÈØ ÊË
of fatigue a n d intense b o r e d o m brought
Å
o n b t h e b l a n d e s t o f c a r r i a g e sur
Å
r o u n d i n g s , or s o sa N i n t e n d o , p r o v i d e d
Lapse
their plans to i m p r o v e c o n d i t i o n s o n
of
Confidence?
the tube go a h e a d .
N i n t e n d o h a v e d e l i v e r e d p l a n s to fit
ã Å
Ô Ël S c h o o l o f M i n e s U n i o n President
Alistair Fox a t t e m p t e d t o p a s s a m o t i o n
o f n o c o n f i d e n c e i n D P (C&S)
Marie
N i c h o l o a u at U n i o n C o u n c i l last T u e s Å
Ê Ë . This w o u l d , if p a s s e d , r e s u l t in h e r
Å
dismissal f r o m t h e post, a n d p o s s i b l t h e
the n e w trains to g o o n the J u b i l e e Line
Å
colour con
with N i n t e n d o G a m e b o
Å
soles, a move the
h o p e will prove
b e n e f i a l to c o m m u t e r s w h o suffer f r o m
h e r p e r f o r m a n c e as R e t u r n i n g O f f i c e r .
However, he did not f o l l o w the correct
u l a t i n g ö ÷ ø s to a l l e v i a t e their b o r e d o m
can be gathered o n both sides)
and
the
Fox
motion
was
rejected.
Mr
T h e I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e trials f o r U n i v e r s i t
the true m o t i v a t i o n s for his
m o n t h , as previousl
actions
s h o u l d have c o m e to light.
More
discounts
T h a n k s t o t h e c o n t i n u i n g e f f o r t s o f ICU
President Dave Hellard, the n u m b e r of
local s t o r e s o f f e r i n g d i s c o u n t s f o r IC s t u -
Challenge
will take
Å
preliminar
ö ÷ ø s in w h i c h w e c a n o v e r c o m e o u r legal
Å
o b l i g a t i o n s that w e r e laid b t h e w o r k i n g
t i m e d i r e c t i v e " , e x p l a i n i n g " W e ' v e got n o
g o i n g t o h a v e t o re-structure to s o m e
e x e m p t i o n s to b e f i n a l i s e d in t h e h o p e
Å
that securit staff w o u l d b e u n a f f e c t e d ,
d e g r e e . . . w e ' r e n o t g o i n g to b e a b l e to
Å
Å
p l e a s e È ô È Ø × Ô Ê all o f t h e time", but h e
t h e s i t u a t i o n has still not b e e n clarified,
s a w the a l t e r a t i o n s as a c h a n c e to c r e a t e
Å
a better É ÉÌÈ Í .
Å
p r o p o s a l s will b e subject lo
An
but t h e c o l l e g e m u s l n o w face t h e task o f
b a l a n c i n g staff w a g e s with r e d u c e d w o r k Å
i n g h o u r s . M i c h a e l Saul, ÉÈÛÇØÚÌ s U n i s o n
extensive
as t h e I lealth a n d S a f e t
to m a k e t h e j o b s u s t a i n a b l e is o v e r t i m e . "
1992 s a w t h e last major u p h e a v a l in
Å
c o l l e g e ÉÈÛÇØ ÚÌ , w h e r e a p r o p o s a l to disÅ
p e n s e w i t h in-house securit staff a n d
Executive a n d
t h e final d e c i s i o n lies w i t h t h e M a n a g e Å
m e n l P l a n n i n g G r o u p . ÈÛÇØÚÌ s M r Saul
Å
w a s c o n v i n c e d ÌÕÈ Ó l [college a p p r o a c h
Å
it in a s e n s i b l e Ë " a n d K e n Weir a s s u r e d :
Å
" t h e s e c u r i t of t h e c o l l e g e is not g o i n g
to b e c o m p r o m i s e d in
.
U
and
Å
icu
alread
setelec-
Å
press S a n c l a
B
n
V o t i n g for t h e
Collins
,
and
Mat
Marie
Nicholaou were standing
the
for C & G P r e s i d e n t ; a full list o f c a n d i dates lor ICS MU President was unavail-
ã Å
Ô Ël C o l l e g e o f Sci-
able.
Gulix editor D i n c s h
finance and Clubs and Entertainments
Å
takes place toda a n d t o m o r r o w , with
who
b a l l o t b o x e s in all RCS
his
q u e s t i o n s e t s c a n b e f o u n d o n l i n e at
Ó Û Ù Ë Ø Û Ó Û Ë Û Ç Û Ë Õ é /
college
n e w r e g u l a t i o n s c o m m e n t i n g "Ifs a g o o d
Å
t h i n g , it s t o p s È Í Ù Ó Ô È Ø s e x p l o i t i n g their
Å
w o r k e r s " , but w e n t o n to sa " t h e p r o b Å
Å
Å
Å
l e m is securit are lowl paid , the o n l w a
e n c e President a n d Vice Presidents for
e s t e d s t u d e n t s a r c i n v i t e d to a t t e n d t h e
Å
trials, w h i c h w i l l b e h e l d o n T u e s d a
éý
the
Ì h o f M a r c h in r o o m 344 o l t h e
ý
þ
Å
H u x l e B u i l d i n g at
Ù m s h a r p . If
Ôu
Å
wish
to
tr
out,
please
email
ÿ
Ç Ú ë Ú Û Ë Û Ç k in a d v a n c e . Past trial q u i with
d e p a r t m c n l s as w e l l as org anisation s s u c h
this
later
consultation
Representative, saw the benefits of the
a n n o u n c e d . Inter-
place
s t a g e o f t h e r e f o r m s , but c o n Å
c e d e d "Ihe 48 h o u r w o r k i n g w e e k is likel
Å
Å
to a d v e r s e l a f f e c t t h e securti staff". H e
Å
s l a t e d h e is " c u r r e n t l l o o k i n g a l several
c u r r e d : " W h e t h e r w c like it or not, w e ' r e
Constituent Colleg e U n i o n elections arc
Å
u l a t i o n s a p p l i e d t o his staff a n d felt offiÅ
about al such a
cers h a d little to w o r r
s o m e t i m e , b u t c h o s e t o w a i t f o r all
u p o n us.
i n t e n d s to r e s u b m i t his m o t i o n at t h e
Å
Å
next C o u n c i l , o n 4 ä Ë , b w h i c h t i m e
o f f i c e r as h e e x p l a i n e d t h e a p p r e h e n s i o n o f his c o n t e m p o r a r i e s . A n o t h e r offiÅ
Å
Å
cer w a r n e d "If t h e o n l p a 48 hours...
Å
the could e n d up with a mass exodus".
Å
I h e C h i e f o f ÈÛÇØÚÌ , K e n Weir, is
Å
r e s e a r c h i n g i n t o exactl w h i c h o f t h e r e g -
a w a r e o f t h e w o r k i n g time r e g u l a t i o n s for
tions
Challenge
t h i n g , but I s h o u l d i m a g i n e w e a r c g o i n g
Å
l o " w a s t h e p r e d i c t i o n f r o m o n e securit
l e g a l c h o i c e , w e h a v e to m a k e r e f o r m s . "
ã Å
Å
È ìÔÓÊ É , H e a d o f Securit
Keith
con-
tled f r o m t h e
àú ûßâüúáÄ
ù
a n d put a n e n d to t h e 48 h o u r w e e k c o l Å
Å
lege securit h a d previousl operated .
Å
"We d o n ' t f e e l w e s h o u l d l os e Ë ì -
been
t h e college has
The dust has hardl
procedures (which require him to warn
t h e C h a i r i n a d v a n c e , s o that e v i d e n c e
week;
h i g h stress l e v e l s d u e t o t h e i r l o n g a n d
Å
a r d u o u s õ Ô Ç Ø ì È s d e e p d o w n in t h e
b o w e l s o f the earth. The consoles are
Å
a p p a r e n t l an " e x p e r i m e n t a l l o o k into
Å
p r o v i s i n g c o m m u t e r s w i t h m e n t a l l stim-
re-running o f t h e s a b b a t i c a l e l e c t i o n s , as
M r Fox e s p r e s s e d d i s s a t i s f a c t i o n w i t h
a
This
l e a d l o the i n t r o d u c t i o n o f shift w o r k ,
departments.
Ganesarajah,
has s t o o d for the posts o f b o l h
RCSU and
I C S M U President, has
nomination
for
the
RCSU
had
post
T h e r e a r e t w o c a n d i d a t e s for P r e s i d e n t :
Å
Å
Wil l B e n t l ( c u r r e n t l V P F i n a n c e ) a n d
a n n u l l e d , but his b i d for t h e (sabbatical )
J a m e s I arrar ( e d i t o r o f B o r a d s h o e t ) .
seen whether
E l e c t i o n p a p e r s h a v e c o m e d o w n fo
Å
b o t h I C S M U n i o n , a n d Cit a n d G u i l d s
desert, s p o r t i n g s u n g l a s s e s , a n d a n A r a b
College Union.
i n t o tin - m \ M i l l e n i u m .
When
lelix went
to
I C S M l j o b r e m a i n s real. It r e m a i n s to b e
:
D i n e s h (last s e e n in a
head-dress) will b e l e a d i n g the M e d i c s
8
s
s
Campaigning
work
s
b
institutions ( w h o d o not
s
London's student Unions,
.
.
all
lllll
will
be
speeded
to
b
up
!g
be
off.
Accord-
A strange sight c o n -
wanting
to
noon.
access
express
e
clearing
h o u s e
regarding the
President
(rather
assassination
Dave
t h a n
of
Hel-
lard,
will
to
-. .
I lussain. ,
being
$,6""
onl
campaign
LT h a d
proved to be
s e e m e d e n t r e n c h e d in their position,
the most p o p -
will
also
be added
to t h e
scheme.
refusing to accept
M o r e o v e r , LT a r e l o o k i n g t o g i v e
recentl
that m a t u r e a n d
post-grad students n e e d
help.
How-
ular
:
departed b
coach
site
,
t h e i r
899::;8;<<8-,:\
demonstra-
:
tion
for
S q u a r e .
the protesters.
Apart
was
Al-Sadr
administer t h e cards - w h i c h s h o u l d put
plaint, c o u p l e d with t h e s u ppor t o f t h e
the
an e n d to t h e incredible
Universit Vice Chancellor s e e m s to
leader o f Shia M u s l i m s a n d w a s mur-
onl
have tipped t h e scales. As Dave Hellard
d e r e d whilst giving a s e r m o n . I h e pro-
the
testors c a m p a i g n e d against
blocked.
permission
to
issue
) $* s
and
cur-
rentl e x p e r i e n c e d b m a n s t u d e n t s .
+ , * %* ,
f o r t h o s e s t u d e n t s at s m a l l e r
" " ,
"It's l o o k i n g v e r
/
promising".
-fc^
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Grand
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i
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www.su.ic.ac.uk/summerball
m
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at
Trafalgar
e v e r , a m a s s i v e i n f l u x o f letters o f c o m -
Union's
to
continue
Iraqi
the
This series o f b r e a k t h r o u g h s has
c o m e as a surprise to man leading t h e
- until
speakers.
nearer
s u m m e r m o n t h s (at p r e s e n t a l l c a r d s
cards
their
support for
23 " 4 s '
i i 5 5 11 i
w h o s e studies continue through the
travel
chant-
ing
arrived a n d
dene:
(
tors
. S o m e cam-
h o w e v e r , t h e c o s t o f t h e c a r d w i l l rise
r u n until 30 June). W e e k l
.
11
paigners
a d d e d to t h e s c h e m e , a n d t h e cards
'
d
demonstra-
h a n d s of Sad- ;=::
Ihe
students
n
i n f o t o o n e p l a c e , w h e r e it is o p e n e d ,
dam
to
Hussain
a
Mohammed
a n d s t a m p e d , before b e i n g sent o n to
available
pictures
Al S a d i at t h e
the
t h e n e x t s t a g e , a s at p r e s e n t ) . In r e t u r n ,
become
IL
0 # &* * h 1 1 .
result, m a t u r e s t u d e n t s w i l l p r o b a b l b e
o f w h a t a student is". A s a
of
of
sending
;
::
" #$%$&# $ s
-
all
Lon-
T r a n s p o r t " h a v e d o n e a U-Turn i n t h e i r
;
their
ing to ICU
t h e Iran-
Included
to
grievances
including
the burning
e n v e l o p e d the
o
human
violations
A c t i o n s
Iraqi
protestors
area
of
rights
Iraq w a r a n d t h e i n v a s i o n o f K u w a i t .
Several
hundred
utilising
n
regime
7
fronted those of use
Prince C o n s o r t Roa d o n Saturda afterprocess
students
seems
to
:
scheme to
cover
capacit
the
administer the scheme),
a i m e d at e x t e n d i n g t h e
LT d i s c o u n t
have
from
the obvious
the religious
Hussain's
d i s r u p t i o n s to t h e traffic, Imperial w a s
'
s l i g h t l i n c o n v e n i e n c e d as o n e o f
entrances
t o t h e car-park w a s
YOUR
ANSWERED!
Where to live
Paying the Rent
Where to look
_
Inventories
Deposits
W h o to live with
Contracts
A talk given by U L A O staff in association with the
Private Housing Office
Date: Wednesday
March
Time: 5pm
Place: R o o m 220, Mechanical Engineering
8
Letters
Camborne Coverage
o f s c i e n t i f i c r e s e a r c h w h i c h s h o w s that
D e a r Felix,
I a m writing to c o m m e n t o n the space
season approaches.
p a r e d t o t h e m o r e sociallC a c c e p t a b l e
theC c o u l d
d r u g s a l c o h o l a n d t o b a c c o , a n d that's in
that h a r d ) o r w o u l d just like t o h e l p o u t
t e r m s o f its a d d i c t i v e p r o p e r t i e s , a d v e r s e
=>?@AB@C , ghijklmlnojp l a n d FqCPWEGEaWTB l e f f e c t s ,
FGBC> d C a m - a n d a l s o g e n e r a l s o c i a l p r o b l e m s ( e . g .
a l l o c a t i o n in Felix. O n t h e 2 0 t h
DECB l
the
School of M i n e s
borne (note the spelling). O n e w o u l d
violence).
The apparentlC harmful effects o f
expect this event t o b e w e l l c o v e r e d ,
s i n c e it is a m a j o r s p o r t i n g e v e n t . In fact,
b e c o m e i n creas i n g l C difficult as t h e e x a m
c a n n a b i s is a l s o relativel C h a r m l e s s c o m -
~ N CE N e w h o thinks
c o m p o s e a  €  ‚ e (it's n o t
p l e a s e w a l k i n t o t h e Felix o f f i c e a n
K
time
or e-mail.
H G W e l l s f o u n d e d P h o e n i x as t h e
'normal schools journal', a n d published
in it t h e first draft o f h i s n o v e l 'The T i m e
M a c h i n e ' . E H H u g h e s f o u n d e d Felix a n d
it is h i s n a m e that is r e m e m b e r e d in t h e
title o f t h e n e w s p a p e r .
I m a k e n o a p o l o g C for
However,
Salutations to
m a k i n g clues ridiculouslC o b s c u r e f r o m
time to time.
Yours
c a n n a b i s a r e listed as t h o u g h theC are
CEA,
PWNT>@>GC ,
facts, a l t h o u g h t h e o n l C reliable e v i d e n c e
Yours
TonC d e Reuck
Roberts c o v e r i n g t h e m a t c h e s for us.
m a C o n l C slightl C i m p a i r c e r t a i n c o g n i t i v e
Nice thin a n d a m u s i n g
Cop
I m a g i n e t h e s u r p r i s e in t h e R S M t h e n ,
f u n c t i o n s after l o n g t e r m u s e , a n d m a
(aka G n a t C h u m )
w h e n expecting a decent spread, there
also slightlC i n c r e a s e t h e i n c i d e n c e o f
I w a s u n d e r t h e i l l u s i o n that t h i s w a s t h e
c a s e , w i t h t h e n e w Felix E d i t o r ,
Dave
currentl C a v a i l a b l e s u g g e s t s that c a n n a b i s
was a brief report o n t h e front p a g e . O n
m o u t h cancer. These adverse
t u r n i n g t o t h e s p o r t s p a g e s at t h e b a c k ,
seem
expecting
caused b
further
coverage
I
was
s h o c k e d t o s e e that F e l l w a l k l n g h a d a
w h o l e half p a g e . I w o u l d h a v e t h o u g h t
that t h e r e m a r k a b l e a c h i e v e m e n t o f c o m p l e t i n g a w h i t e w a s h f o r t h e first t i m e
ever over C S M w o u l d merit a p r o p e r
report, n o t a p a r a g r a p h f o r e a c h o f t h e
sports. I d i d n o t b o t h e r w r i t i n g a r u g b C
report, w e w o n f o r t h e t h i r d c o n s e c u t i v e
HIJ r bK t h e LBC ,
s i n c e o n e p r e s u m e s that
K
effects
small to those accepte d to be
K alcohol
O n e t i m e Editor o f P h o e n i x
Z w r i t e r f o r Felix
‰Š‹ e d1
RCS ˆqCPWT s c
t
k
r
a
u s e , a n d certainlC for
t
n
tobacco use.
I
d people w h o
HIJ r w i l l
h a v e u s e d c a n n a b i s in t h e last
h a v e a l s o t r i e d a n o t h e r rs te o f illegal
d r u g ? This is h a r d l C s u r p r i s i n g c o n s i d e r i n g that B N C ? E ] C w h o w i s h e s to u s e
A n d s o w h a t if 2 o u t o f
r
The Origins of Felix
Deadline for letters is
D e a r Ed S e x t o n
12noon
c a n n a b i s is f o r c e d t o c o m e i n t o c o n t a c t
w i t h harder s u b s t a n c e s v i a their dealers.
This s e e m s t o b e t h e o n l C g a t e w a
u
M aC I reminisce?
effect
The familiar n a m e u s e d b
K
t h e inti-
t h e p r e s e n c e o f a Felix r e p o r t e r o n t h e
o f soft d r u g s l e a d i n g t o harde r d r u g s , a n d
m a t e s in t h e Links C l u b o f t h e F o u n d i n g
t o u c h l i n e n e g a t e s s u c h t h i n g s . It w a s
this
great t o h a v e s o m a n C s u p p o r t e r s p r e -
Father o f Felix, that is to s a
c a n n a b i s w a s d e c r i m i n a l i s e d . T h e respect
H u g h e s , w a s "Felix" - w h e r e that c a m e
sent (perhaps t h e DP(C&S) m i s s e d t h e
for t h e illegal status o f harder
f r o m n o o n e k n e w , f r o m his
bus) a n d
w o u l d a l s o b e r e s t o r e d if d e c r i m i n a l i s a -
p e r h a p s . Felix H u g h e s , d e b o n a i r , w i t h a
tion o f cannabis occurred.
dr C w i t a n d a satirical cast o f m i n d , w a s
K M u >NO EC> d CEA@P>GQ>P .
I hope
Yours
R@AGC ,
and
Matthew
S ET UBCN e
effect
would
eliminated
if
drugs
s h o u l d s m o k e it, its n o t a
H e w o u l d not have a p p l i e d his o w n
vwv xyz {e a n d
name
vwv xyz { e
like all recre-
d o n o t recall) u r g e d its a d o p t i o n a s a
@>BGWPRWTBGGC , a n d d r u g
Œ
Letters ma be edited
for length, but will not
Œ
be altered in an other
 Ž
be signed, but a swipe
card must be shown
w h e n submitting
m e m o r i a l t o its f o u n d e r a n d as a n a s s o -
users g i v e n
n a n t g e n u f l e x i o n t o its a n c i e n t c o u s i n
Phoenix.
a little m o r e r e s p e c t a n d T@>]W?WGWRC . A f t e r
. Letters n e e d not
he
f o u n d e d in 1949 , b u t F C E w e l s ( w h o m I
treated
s
to the College Newspaper
b l i n g ) its u s e r e q u i r e s a c e r t a i n a m o u n t
It's a b o u t t i m e d r u g i s s u e s w e r e
e
P TqEEG]BC s
a t i o n a l ac t i v i t i e s ( e . g . d r i n k i n g o r g a m -
d
I
T e d (EH)
a Guildsman a n d a M e c h a n i c a l Engineer.
o f s e l f - d i s c i p l i n e a n d P>NPW?WGWRC .
I
K
I'm n o t PBCWN g c a n n a b i s is w o n d e r f u l
d r u g that suits
RSMRFC Captain
be
Ž  ‘  ’ ‘ “
Felix a n d P h o e n i x w e r e rivals o n l C for
all t h e r e is a d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n r e s p o n -
the
e
sible d r u g use, a n d d r u g a b u s e - believe
P h o e n i x a p p e a r e d o n c e a t e r m ; it w a s
t
it o r n o t .
a n d still is t h e IC literar C
services
outlet for
of the college
>PPBCWPRP ,
.
s letters.
literati.
bBaBƒWN>,
an
p o e t s , critics a n d
artists. Felix w a s a n d still is a w e e k l C
Undergraduate Chemist
newspaper of record with topical news
Welfare O u t o f Touch
I
D e a r Felix Editor,
a n d views about events, societies a n d
|
g
I w o u l d like t o c o m p l a i n a b o u t t h e I C U
T h o s e w h o f a n c i e d w r i t i n g in t h o s e
„…† s
,
t
Felix w h i c h f o c u s e s o n t h e u s e o f e c s t a s C
impartiall
V
p r o v i d i n g t h e facts
needed
GWX>PRCG e
people
Y
awa
Z
ANN>T>PPB@C .
I q u e s t i o n t h e statistic o f
d e d i c a t e d to satirising crimes a n d follies
Gnat C h u m C o m e s Out
Dear crossword doers
2 h a v i n g t r i e d e c s t a s C in t h e U K , is t h i s
c i n e a n d R>Tq NEG EaC ; its tie b o r e a silver
mine).
s
K
hand and
W e all c o l l a b o r a t e d w i t h T e d H u g h e s
a d m i t that I h a v e n o t b e e n
thorough
to k e e p Felix s u p p l i e d w i t h c o p C a n d
crosswords
c a m e t o w i e l d c o n s i d e r a b l e political influ-
enough w h e n checking m
K
e n c e in t h e C o l l e g e - over
ing,
m e w h e n I s a that t h e r e is n o o n e m o r e
prices, for e x a m p l e , or t h e e l e c t i o n o f
d i s s a p p o i n t e d that I w h e n a m i s t a k e is
s o c i e t C o f f i c e r s . W e all m u c k e d in a n d
K
p r i n t e d o n a M o n d a C m o r n i n g . At t h e
f o u n d t h e pace ver
‡
e
refectorC
for s p e l l i n g a n d c o n t e n t . Please believe
moment
s
in t h e u s e a n d a b u s e o f s c i e n c e , m e d i -
based o n t h e entire population (includ-
[\K , t h e >G]>@GC^ , o r p e r h a p s m o r e
_
realisticall o n a `CEANa ' a g e r a n g e o f
b BC? e cdef d HIJ r o l d s ?
K is c a n n a b i s
A n d P >T E N ] G C , w h
d e s c r i b e d a s b e i n g relativelC h a r m l e s s
c o m p a r e d o n l C t o h e r o i n ? T h e r e is a lot
s
m
quill o n a b l u e b a c k g r o u n d (I still h a v e
I feel obliged to hold up m
in
o f IC
named
et C o f P o p e , Swift a n d A d d i s o n . It w a s
f r o m drugs. I c o n s i d e r this
irresponsible a n d
Firstl
scate
lo be members
after t h e e i g h t e e n t h c e n t u r C literar C s o c i -
c h o i c e s , t h i s article h a s u s e d t h e u s u a l
scaremongering techniques to
tended
Scriblerus Club ( n o w defunct)
a n d c a n n a b i s . It s e e m s that i n s t e a d o f
for p e o p l e t o m a k e i n f o r m e d
e
n o d o u b t still is.
,
W e l f a r e N e w s l e t t e r in last w e e k ' s Issue o f
KEEP THE C A T FREE
clubs. It w a s a l s o d a m m e d h a r d w o r k a n d
x

Frida
d i f f e r e n t in Felix
I a m the sole contributor of
f r o m Phoenix,- t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f b o t h
c r o s s w o r d s t o Felix. I tr t o g e t a c r o s s -
s t o o d m e in g o o d s t e a d w h e n I later
s
word
w e n t to edit Nature.
c
out ever
}
K
week
but this
will
EST. 1949
l
8
'
•–— ”˜™š› s w o u l d
of
like t o k n o w .
̔™še
describes himself as é
”™¤šg
at heart",
r e f l e c t i n g t h e c h a n g e in a t t i t u d e that
” results f r o m d r u g u s e .
š
”ò
Ä
—” , there's a pro-legalisation
m a r c h in L o n d o n o n M a œ 1 ( a s s u m i n g t h e
w h o w a n t s t o tell m e w h o t h e culprits a r e
a n d states that h e " s u p p o r t s s t u d e n t s
inevitabl
Sherfield - t a k e S i m o n Baker's a d v i c e , a n d
Íšê ™” ³ š g t h e m s e l v e s " , but a l s o b e l i e v e s
¤” šÅ .
o v e r a q u i e t pint, I'm ² ³
˜
”
š
A s for t h e s u g g e s t i o n o f — ³ g f o r it several h u n d r e d t h o u s a n d p o u n d s o f plan-
stop r e j e c t i n g s m a l l a n d u n f a s h i o n a b l e
w i t h i n c r e a s e d rent... I'm n o t s u r e . 9 0 p a
n i n g f e e s h a v e b e e n lost d u e to antisocial
o r g a n i s e r s a r e n ' t t o o s t o n e d t o h o l d it),
projects o n t h e g r o u n d s o f s a v i n g f u n d s .
w e e k is, w h a t , a b o u t
b e h a v i o u r f r o m IC (or other) s t u d e n t s . I
and I daresa
w o u l d like to a d d that Ian C a l d w e l l w a s
there.
”
onl o n e
This w e e k , I h a v e
”
t h i n g to sa to
”˜™š› s V i l l a g e H a l l this s u m Build t h e •–—
mer.
œ u s m u g College
žŸœ , "It d o e s n ' t w o r k
"Ah-ha!" I hear
Committee goers
¡¢£ r w e s p e n d all t h e res”
m o n e o n m or e important pro-
ÆÇ0 a ÈÉÊ Ë?
It isn't a
™ š ͔ , a n d if t h e s t u d e n t s a r e
lot o f Ì
”
h a p p to p aœ it, t h e n I saœ g o a h e a d a n d
let's g e t t h e d a m n t h i n g built. W e c a n
a r g u e a b o u t t h e ethics afterwards. A n d
like that! Ever
a r g u m e n t t h e r e s h o u l d b e ; c h a r g i n g res-
idences'
i d e n t s for n e w hall facilities sets a d a n -
jects, s u c h as m a k i n g sure current halls are
gerous precedent. H o w long before such
safe, pleasant, a n d not a b o u t t o fall d o w n .
a m o v e leads to students b e i n g charged
Y o u w o u l d n ' t w a n t us t o n e g l e c t s t u d e n t
for e s s e n t i a ! b u t u n e x p e c t e d w o r k , rather
safet
t h a n 'non-vital' projects s u c h a s that at
”
for t h e sake o f a c o m m o n r o o m ,
would
”™¤¥ "
O f c o u r s e not. T h e a n s w e r is
” helpful w h e n questioned about the
•–— ”˜™š› s Village t lall. T h e r e ”™ u g o , Ian
”
- w h a t o t h e r editor, apart f r o m Ì — ² e
”
J o a n n a 볖–´ , w o u l d d e v o t e s o m u c h
”
s p a c e in a n editorial to ìíî ? ï — ² e I a m
”š Î
l o s i n g m œ ´ ³´³ Ì ÜÜ .
m o r e cash. W e are talking 3 % o f the boat
”Í — § .
granite f r o m t h e f l o w e r b e d s , r e d u c e s o m e
ticularl
o f t h e six f i g u r e salaries in S h e r f i e l d bœ a
f e w percent,
”™¤¦§ e
and
half w a œ t h e r e .
D o n ' t like that idea? O h , I a m s u r p r i s e d . . .
At t h e e n d o f t h e d aœ t h e p r o b l e m is
¨©ª«¬­®¯° '
l o c a t i o n . It isn't a f a s h i o n a b l e
”
”
”š ³´³ Î Ì , I hear
”
it i n c r e a s e s w i t h ever
H a v e I lost m j o u r n a l i s t i c ´
”™ u Ï ÐÑ ? N o ,
in fact
Ò Í›šÍΛ — ” ,
w h i c h I a s s u m e d w a s not
«
”™ u
M r C a l d w e l l w o u l d like to p o i n t o u t
about
U n i o n ' t h a n mœ p r e d e c e s s o r . I h a v e e v e n
b e e n c a l l e d D a v e H e l l a r d ' s lap-dog, a n d
w h e t h e r the
”
argue
affect
”™¤ r
c o g n i t i o n , e t c the v o i c e o f t h e U n i o n , bœ s o m e students.
occasionall
ñ
harm
”™¤ r
mental make-up
a r c just as p o w e r f u l as a n œ 'artificial' d r u g .
œ u see the world
”
has difficult g e t t i n g p l a n n i n g p e r m i s s i o n
respond to the outside world.
the
”
± window
in S h e r f i e l d ,
will not s e e a great glass t o w e r
g l e a m i n g in t h e s u n l i g h t . I d o n ' t k n o w
w h o that m a n o r w o m a n is, o r
”
possibl
m e n or w o m e n , b u t I t h i n k t h e r e s i d e n t s
Having trouble with
”™¤ r
computing
IC c o m p u t i n g g r a d u a t e , call J a m e s o n
o n 0181 378 5442 o r e m a i l
JRR1@doc.ic.ac.uk
e Hospital
²³´ ” ´– e
L o w cost
a c t e d in a w a œ
b e n e f i t e d t h e stu-
d e n t s o f this c o l l e g e ( w h i c h is m œ over-riding concern).
I h e r e a r c t h i n g s in t h e
pipeline, however...
So, m a s t e r H c l l a r d a n d o t h e r s , I'm
ú
sorr if I o f f e n d a n œ o f
”™ u
in t h e next four
”
w h o h a v e n o t t a k e n a certai n d r u g c a n
p r o f e s s i o n a l criticism f r o m p e r s o n a l prej-
n e v e r a r g u e effectivel
u d i c e s . A n d if —
f u t u r e c o l l e g e b u i l d i n g pl an s , a n d t h u s
h a v e e x p e r i e n c e d it, s i m p l
waste
t w o g r o u p s start f r o m d i f f e r e n t p r e m i s e s ,
o f w h o m a r e influential o n
”
college
̙šÍ”.
M r Caldwell
g
”
with those w h o
”
because the
š ” ™ š e f e e l s the ” h a v e
” b û ICU o r c o l l e g e ;
b e e n treated badl
Felix is
”™¤ r
i n d e p e n d e n t voice.
11 M a r c h , 1-2pm A N T E
1
Ó
M a r c h , 1-2pm INSPEC
18 M a r h c , 1-2pm M e t a d e x
All take place
ÔÕÖ×Ø×Ù
in Central
Level
Ú
Cit & Guilds Meeting
Officers a n d m e m b e r s committee
Thursda
”
meeting.
11th M a r c h ,
ÛÜÝ Â ˜ ÌÞßà ¤ ³– › s
O f f i c e ( M e c h E n g R o o m 340)
ۘ m
Thurs
Volunteers Wanted!
Do
œ  u t h i n k ”™¤ r
periods are
á Í —â ” ,
and want to k n o w more?
s
”
W e are d o i n g a stud l o o k i n g at w h
”
c o m e s w i t h all h a r d a n d s o f t w a r e
If
”™ u
”
s
Enthusiastic applicants are sought for the post of
Assistant Warden at Clayponds Village, from 1st April
1999. Clayponds is a community of 3 0 0 + students
(PG8JJG) living in self-catering flats and houses and is situated in Ealing. Duties will include assisting the Warden in
the pastoral care of students, promoting social life and
g o o d order in the village and some general administration. The successful applicant will live in a rent-free flat in
the village and will normally be resident in Clayponds
throughout the year. Applicants must be full time m e m bers of College but the post would especially suit s o m e one with experience of pastoral care and a desire to live
in a student community.
some
w o m e n have heavier p e r i o d s than others.
The s t u d
involves a MRI o f t h e uterus.
For further information and an application form, contact
Cathy Cumberland, Rector's Suite, Sherfield Building, email to:
c.cumberland@ic.ac.uk
w o u l d like f i n d o u t m o r e a b o u t
helping us with our
Î㤛” ,
then please
Closing date for applications is Friday, 12th M a r c h 1999
call:
Call 0171 244
ÁÂÃ 0
or e m a i l
dc197@lc.ac.uk
- Ed
t
9 M a r c h , 1-2pm NTIS
Modem for Sale
µ¶·¸¹º »¼ ½¾¿À,
”
bours, man
P a p e r s t o b e s u b m i t t e d bœ
(sealed), i n c l u d e s s o m e i n t e r n e t / m a i l
that I f e e l
”
h a s directl
t h e local c o u n c i l , a r e likel to j e o p a r d i s e
JRR1@doc.lc.ac.uk
d
”
with a g o o d sabb
m o n t h s - p l e a s e r e m e m b e r to s e p a r a t e
repairs, spares a n d
A
A s for t h e d r u g s a r g u m e n t ? I'm rapidl
”Í — § ,
team, a n d has generall
c o m i n g t o t h e c o n c l u s i o n that p e o p l e
sales o n c a m p u s .
Call J a m e s o n 0181 3 7 8 5442 o r e m a i l
perceive a n d
b e e n g o o d this
d e n t s that activities that piss off o u r n e i g h -
Programming Tuition
c o u r s e ? For p r i v a t e t u i t i o n b œ first c l a s s
change h o w
œ u
for projects. H e w o u l d like to r e m i n d s t u -
out o f their Level
through
a n o c e a n o f p o w e r f u l c h e m i c a l s that c o n -
w h o has b l o c k e d t h e hall's e r e c t i o n l o o k s
”
W e l l , it m a œ n o t last. T h e U n i o n h a s
etc. W e l l , e x c u s e m e , b u t t h e h o r m o n e s
achievement. W h e n the m a n or w o m a n
construction
”
certain drugs a r c harmless,
”
endlessl
stantl
as a great
óôõ ös this d i v i d i n g line
÷ø÷ù , a n d m a n ” o f œ  u
h a v e p r o b a b l n o t i c e d that I a m m o r e 'pro
People
whether
”
has w i t h e r e d
l e c t u r e last
exciting neurolog
that it is n o t Estates' fault that t h e c o l l e g e
recognised
d e c a d e a g o , w h e n U n i o n h a c k s o f a nœ
t h e U n i o n . In recent
a t h o u g h t I h a d d u r i n g a par-
Like it or not,
for p u b l i c a t i o n g i v e n its i n f o r m a l t o n e .
project, It isn't extravagan t o r likel t o b e
T h e r e w a s a t i m e , n o l m u c h m o r e than a
v i e w e d w i t h s u s p i c i o n in t h e c o n f i n e s o f
issue, b u t I a m a r e a s o n a b l e m a n . M r a n d n e u r o t r a n s m i t t e r s that alter a n d , œ ðž ,
C a l d w e l l e m a i l e d m e a letter late last
A
O f f i c e , a n d Felix c l u b m e m b e r s w e r e
u
...I'll tell
A
u
d e s c r i p t i o n w e r e n o l a l l o w e d in t h e Felix
•–— ”˜™š›Î ?
t h e B M S ' bill. Sell o f f s o m e o f t h e e x c e s s
I'll s e e a g o o d f e w o f œ
ver
simple - give the residences pot s o m e
h o u s e ' s cost; less t h a n half a p e r c e n t o f
”
James o n
Âäå Û7 ÃÃäÁÁ 9
or
A n n e o n 0171 88 Ã æçè 1
Informal inquiries to Dr M Tyrer (Warden)
üýþÿ Dept Materials, ext 4 6 8 0 0 e-mail
ýý
8
t
The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth
h e t r u t h , a s t h e , is o n l h a l f
the . A s a t e n d e r g i n n o -
as i n c r e d i b l e .
cent, o f f s c h o o l w i t h 'flu a n d rel-
if s o c i a l
T
i s h i n g t h e i l l i ci t p l e a s u r e
of
eating
cent t h o u g h t strikes m e
However,
commentators
are to b e believed, onl a g e n e r a t i o n
Shippham's pilchard a n d tomato paste
s a n d w i c h e s a n d w a t c h i n g e TV,
I was often c o n f u s e d as to w h t h e
ago the whole world was a much more
witnesses appearing o n 'Crown Court'
more
moral, truthful a n d trusting place.
when
maps of the globe
pink than an
w e r e a s k e d t o swear that t h e e v i d e n c e
w e r e about to give w a s t h e truth,
other
colour, a
the
cian
could
the w h o l e truth a n d n o t h i n g but t h e
truth s o h e l p t h e m G o d . T o m at t h e
t i m e u n s u l l i e d m i n d (I h a d
t to twig
"polling the electorate"
the hidden meanings of the n a m e s of
the characters in Captain P u g w a s h ) this
didn't m a k e sense - w h t h e n e e d for
contained
is a b u i l d e r .
awakenings go, it
h i m since
until
I b u m p e d into
c h a n c e in
upright
#& .
A lot h a s h a p -
pened
since
lot worse..."
then,
s u c h a d i s t i n c t i o n ; t h e t r u t h is t h e t r u t h ,
though.
Richard Nixon's Watergate,
isn't it? It is n o s e c r e t t h a t I w a s a l a t e
Ronald
d e v e l o p e r in m o r e s t h a n o n e (I still
M a n d c i s o n ' s N o t t i n g Hill G a t e
h a d C a m b e r w i c k G r e e n w a l l p a p e r in
m b e d r o o m right u p u n t i l t h e s u m m e r
b e f o r e m ' O ' - l e v e l s w h i c h I'm s u r e
w a s i n s t r u m e n t a l in m e o n l g e t t i n g a n
shattered the image
Reagan's Irangate a n d Peter
have
of our elected
representatives as d a s h e d g o o d c h a p s
superstructure
s o o n u p a n d t h e fittings a n d fixtures
w e r e well under ) . A s I have alread
m e n t i o n e d , e a c h r o o m in t h e facilit
other
Speculum, the
Ihursda
night.
last U V W r o r s o . It t u r n e d o u t t h a t h e ' d
X
o n l just g o t b a c k f r o m S t a v a n g e r in
south-west N o r w a
where he'd been
humiliating failure to c o p off with
E m m a 'bur m e in a Y-shapcd c o f f i n '
Slatter
with w h o m , I w a s reliabl
t o B r o w n s e a Island w i t h o u t t h e i n v o l v e '
u
m e n t o f Social Services. But t h e r e
h a v e it: ' f i n g s a i n ' t w h a t t h e u s e d to
sight-impaired N o r w e g i a n pensioners.
Apparentl the national a n d regional
informed, I w a s o n a promise). At t h e
be.'
l i e h a d still n o t
occurred to me.
H o w e v e r , as Peter, Paul a n d M a r
n o t e d : " d r a g o n s live f o r e v e r , b u t n o t s o
little " a n d w h e n
t h i s little J a c k i e P a p e r
As . d expect for a n essential
skill f o r e w a n t i n g t o s u r v i v e in
t h e m o d e r n w o r l d , $ g c o m e s in
man
forms a n d degrees of serious
n e s s . In m e x p e r i e n c e , t h e p o r k p i e
spectrum
...the fact that I w as t h e
s t a r t e d at B i g S c h o o l
he h a d to g r o w u p
!"
. O n e of the
first o f m a n
rude
awakenings
awaited
o n c e capable of
and a couple of hun
dred other #$ -
from
acceptable
a n d e x p e d i t i o u s no/0123456784
- looks-fine9:;<9=;>?@AB:
g white
"...as
hurgh,
asked
hurgh".
I
him what the
thought strikes m e
vakia-and-Poland-and -
all a c c o u n t s , \] s i n g l e
we'll-call-it-quits
and
as incredible..."
meditated
pre-
deceit.
w o r k h a d b e e n l i k e . It
w a s " f a c k i n ' $ E# $ " b
30 d o u b l e
g i b j
g
f o r m s
a n d
rooms each with en
worse - I w e n t to t h e local
s i o n o f t h e G e n e r a t i o n G a m e , as b e i n g
compre-
public-school
enter-
t a i n m e n ts s u c h as t h e Biscuit G a m e
and the Dais Chain w e r e thankfull
u n h e a r d o f - b u t it w a s still a bit o f a
'(
s h o c k I c a n tell
. However, I
adapte d t o this n e w e n v i r o n m e n t w i t h
depressing ease a n d within a couple of
" e c o n o m i c a l w i t h t h e actuallte". But
'
whether
u a r e s i m p l J o e A v e r a g e ing not to get o n the w r o n g side of
r missus, a monotestate megalom a n i a c o r a l e c h e r o u s T h a t c h e r i t e has
b e e n , o n e s a d fact s t a n d s o u t : h o n e s t
is n o t n e c e s s a r i l t h e b e s t I $ # . T h e r e
w o r l d o f Arms-to-lran, Cash-for-Ques-
can be times w h e n telling the w h o l e
'
u n v a r n i s h e d truth c a n leave
u worse
o f f t h a n If . d s i m p l k e p t r g o b
s h u t . A c a s e in p o i n t is m m a t e J& .
'
u that h e has b a c o n s a n d If I t e l l
tions a n d Homes-for-Votes, t h e fact
w i c h e s for breakfast, likes his t e a w h i t e
that I w a s o n c e c a p a b l e o f s u c h inno-
with twelve sugars a n d s m o k e s Benson
w e e k s I w a s half-truthing with t h e best
of t h e m .
Viewed from m current perspec
tive, d e s p e r a t e l
t r e a d i n g w a f e r in a
gardens, the
kitchens, the dining areas and the c o m -
'wiv
all s t r i p p e d
i n m a n
d e d fees
of seriousness
m o n r o o m s a n d i n a fit o f e x c i t e m e n t
h e g r i p p e d m a r m a n d told m e that
"all t h e m c o r r i d o r s right, t h e w a s m a d e
about the landscaped
pine
time, for the want of
o n e measl
piece of
ber o f t h e t e a m stood
bonus,
As foreman, responk
s i b i l i t f e l l o n J& . s
shoulders.
He had
two
inventor of a highl
where
expect
bed-
town,
hensive
d
C O m e S
e n i n g s g o , it c o u l d h a v e b e e n a l o t
occasional M P a n d erstwhile
# c ver-
part w o u l d n e v e r m a k e it f r o m O s l o in
to l o s e their
not a black a n d w h i t e issue bu t w a s
actuall a c o n t i n u u m o f a n infinite vari
et o f s h a d e s o f % & . A s r u d e a w a k -
p i t c h e d u p f o r B a s i c T r a i n i n g o n t h e first
d a o f t e r m , w a s t h e i d e a that t r u t h w a s
n't f i n i s h e d , t h e d e a d l i n e w a s s e t f o r
and a replacement
the following da
porcelain, each m e m -
suite b a t h r o o m s , spe^
ciall d e s i g n e d w i t h t h e s i g h t i m p a i r e d
Terr
burbled on
p e r s o n in m i n d .
conscripts
that w h e n t h e p l u m b e r s c a m e t o install
t h e last b a t h r o o m s u i t e , t h e
found
that the w e r e exactl o n e sink short.
What w e r e the to d o ? The work was-
f o r an essential skill,
Somewhere
in t h e
m i d d l e t h e r e is t h e l o o s e l d e f i n e d cat
egor
o f t h e half-truth, a p h e n o m e n o n d u b b e d b A l a n Clark, t h e w e l l
H
CC CC#E& known
palmed
n u m b e r o f the units h a d g o t broke n so
'natta m e e n ? H u r g h ,
lie t o o u t a n d o u t just-
$&C&CDE&CFG&#D$o
lets e t c . h a d b e e n b r o u g h t i n , b u t o v e r
the course of the journe a n d during
several m o n t h s $ g a r o u n d t h e site, a
governments had stumped up the cash
f o r t h e s t a t e - o f - t h e - a rt f a c i l i t
and
J& . s f i r m h a d b i d f o r , a n d w o n , t h e
such innocent
which
me when I
sociall
runs
bathroom
o f t h e j o b , all t h e r e q u i r e d baths, toi-
tered a c c o m m o d a t i o n for blind a n d
c o n t r a c t . "I w e r e n ' t t o o k e e n o n g o i n '
t o start 'wiv", T e r r i n f o r m e d m e , " b a t
[ T
t h e m o n e w a s o w r i g h t a n d I've Y Z Y s
w a n t e d t o tr a bit a
the o l d Scandinavian,
.
to have an e n suite
needs of the sight-impaired.
I his,
II&$ , w a s w h e r e the problem
s t a r t e d . T h e s u p p l o f b a t h r o o m fur
n i t u r e w a s b r o u g h t in f r o m O s l o b
ship, a journe
o f s o m e \ h0 m i l e s
r e q u i r i n g a r o u n d t w o . At t h e start
asked him what he'd b e e n u p to for t h e
site f o r e m a n o n a j o b b u i l d i n g s h e l -
of the building was
c o m p r i s i n g b a t h / s h o w e r , toilet a n d sink
u n i t , all s p e c i a l l d e s i g n e d t o m e e t t h e
s a n " w e s e t t l e d d o w n at a c o r n e r t a b l e
S
w i t h a pint o f h i d e o u s l e x p e n s i v e PQRR
T
lager each (ferr w a s % ) a n d I
w i t h t a k i n g a g r o u p o f t e e n a g e lads o f f
truth a n d t h e w h i t e
was
After m u c h back-slap
ping
and man
a
.O).E&C CC -
w o r k i n g f o r t h e last e i g h t m o n t h s a s
t i m e t h e t w i n c o n c e p t s o f t h e half-
professional differences and toiled
like m a d t h i n g s t o m a k e sure
that t h e
got finished o n time. The
awa
then
in it f o r t h e s a t i s f a c t i o n o f s e r v i n g t h e
p u b l i c , a n d ) s a crust ex-arm
*+ ,
e w o u l d never b e able to get awa
'E' In M e d i a S t u d i e s , a n d w h i c h p r o b a bl h a d m o r e t h a n a little t o d o w i t h m
c h i p p i e s a n d p l u m b e r s h a d b u r i e d their
our local, the S h e e p
could have been a
of
&&G&C$ e financial gain, brickies,
him quite b
and
without raising a smile
members
seen
to
,and scoutmasters were
g o i n g t o b e a bit t i g h t t i m e w i s e b u t it
b n o m e a n s impossible. Thus,
spurred on b the thought of non-
was
Spot o n . I
met h i m w h e n h e c a m e t o repair t h e
h o u s e next d o o r after a particularl
r a u c o u s T u p p e r w a r c part in 1 9 9 7 , a n d
w e instantl b e c a m e friends. I hadn't
"...as rude
politi-
refer
Back
u l a t e d d a t e . A c c o r d i n g t o J& , it w a s
'
and Hedges,
u might
KLMLN
d a g u e s s that Terr
t
floorboards".
" N o r w e g i a n W o o d ? " I a s k e d h i m in a
w e a k a t t e m p t at h u m o u r , b u t h e j u s t
l o o k e d at m e $ _ $ .
W h e n Terr t o l d m e a b o u t t h e k i n d
of m o n e he'd been on, I w a s t e m p t e d
to g o straight r o u n d to B & Q , a r m
&$ f with a b a g o f tools a n d Black
a n d Decker w o r k m a t e a n d get o n the
next p l a n e to O s l o &$`. Better t h a n
that, e n t h u s e d J& , t h e w h o l e c o n struction team h a d b e e n p r o m i s e d a
abcdefg
e production bonus I $e on
c o m p l e t i o n o f t h e project b t h e stip-
options: admit
that D & . d m i s s e d t h e
target, a n d l o s e all
l u c r e , o r lie a n d c h e a t his w a
o u t o f it. N o c h o i c e & $ $ . In a fit o f
that filth
inspiration, he took o n e of the hods
u s e d b t h e # _ $ & , w e l d e d a m e t a l
p l a t e o n t h e o p e n s i d e , c u t a h o l e in
t h e b o t t o m a n d p l u m b e d it i n , b e f o r e
ringing the customer a n d telling him
that & E & D g w a s in o r d e r . N o t q u i t e
a lie, b u t n o t e x a c t l t h e t r u t h . " W e r e n ' t
u w o r r i e d . d get f o u n d out? I
m e a n , w h e n s o m e old c o d g e r g o e s to
u s e that p a r t i c u l a r w a s h b a s i n h e ' l l t u m b l e it s t r a i g h t l m l n , & $ " I s u g g e s t e d ,
f e r r s m i l e d a n d lit a n o t h e r f a g . " N o
c h a n c e m a t e - D& .$l never k n o w t h e
d i f f e r e n c e . " " D o n ' t b e $$ , o f c o u r s e
the
will."
"Nah the
won't" he
l a u g h e d , " d o n ' t c h a k n o w t h e o l d ing - 'A hod's as g o o d as a sink to a
blind Norse?'"
9
8
l
T
he
one
most
of the
d i s h e s p r o v i d e d , as
thing to d o though.
t h e m e a t is n o t hallal
more
T h e r e is a p e t i t i o n g o i n g a r o u n d s t a t i n g
food
"We t h e u n d e r s i g n e d b e l i e v e that t h e
killed
xyoz
)
unreasonable
meal
L o n d o n T r a n s p o r t s c h e m e is
o
p i c k i n g u p s t e a m , just
graduall
d
This
week
trips to H a r l i n g t o n (I t h i n k that w o u l d
cle
use College catering
U n i o n . Currentl
a n d s h o u l d b e a v a i l a b l e t o all s t u d e n t s
op
u agree with the above
o f all a g e s . " If
and
are
statement, could q ru please sign the
standable
t a c h stur rep s h o u l d
dish.
want
II
a
is
under-
that
have
catering department
d e p a r t m e n t a l reps, or s i g n t h e o n e o n
can not cater for
{ | { }~  €
e d u e to cost
the front d e s k o f t h e U n i o n .
and
C o l l e g e C a t e r i n g is o f t e n c r i t i c i s e d
demand
products,
for a
t h i n g t h e C o l l e g e c a n p u t o u t f o r Š‹Œ0
massive loss o n t h e
to o n e o f o u r c u r r i e s a n d I t h i n k it's
o
quite clear w h i c h polic t h e U n i o n a n d
ƒŽpo‰‚
the C o l l e g e a r c
. It's t i m e Ihe
o
College realised w hq the are here; the
‘
students. (Emergenc
services please
vy‚“”o
, I think s o m e of the Colbe o n ’
price
in
heading
the
o
outlet a n d e v e n with
the
o n e , if n o t g e t t h e m t o c h a s e u p t h e i r
petition,
we
to ethics. A r e o u r outlets here to m a k e
o
o u t o f o u r s t u d e n t s or to offer
mone
y‚o
t h e m a g e n u i n e service? C o m p a r e
about
increases
meat
the increase will b e
-
losing
p‚ƒo
but with
o
for cost, but for s u c h a n i n t e r n a t i o n a l
s u c h a large M u s l i m c o m m u n i t
in t h e
C o l l e g e a s I m p e r i a l it is a l s o d i s c r i m i n a v p wo
o
.
Currentl M u s l i m s c a n n ot eat
C o l l e g e , w h o a r e p r e p a r e d t o p a q a lito
tle m o r e f o r f o o d t h e c a n c a t , it is n o t
o
substantial
.
Although
„ … „ †‡ o
t h i n g , it is m o n e
opˆ
that g o e s t o w a r d s
r clubs a n d socixpwwo‰‚
e t i e s . It is p e r h a p s
g that e v e n
mone
for
alent o f n i n e m i n i b u s e s or 1000 return
c o v e r t r a i n i n g ) in p r o f i t . It c o m e s d o w n
discriminate against mature
students
in
there
s t u d e n t h a r d s h i p , b u t t h a t it s h o u l d n o t
is a n i m p o r t a n t s c h e m e t o h e l p a l l e v i a t e
t h a n a nq o f o u r C o l l e g e
is g o i n g t o b e a n arti-
I elix, I'm s u r e
certain
As a conseo
q u e n c e the have to
o
e a t f i s h s t i c k s if t h e
L o n d o n Transport student discount card
far c h e a p e r
c o m p e t i t o r s . C o l l e g e c a t e r i n g this stu r
h a s b u d g e t e d e n o u g h t o b uq t h e e q u i v -
lal.
(it h a s t o b e
in a
that
o n e d i s h a d a q is H a l -
isn't
l e g e h a v e j u s t h a d h e a r t attacks. )
A s e v e r a nq t h o u g h t s s h o u l d b e
emailed to president@ic.ac.uk.
w i t h t h i s larg e p r i c e i n c r e a s e , w e a r e still
A Gentleman's Newspaper?
pence.
T h e rest o f I elix w a s m a d e
Despite
onl
o
producing
nine
b e t w e e n D e c e m b e r 1949 a n d t h e e n d o f
oƒ yw
, bq t h e t i m e .
t h e •–—˜ 0 a c a d e m i c
summer approached Mr L M
q u i t e clear that Felix w o u l d n o t a n s w e r to
y‚op‚
e a n d w o u l d v o i c e its o p i n i o n
¿ÀÁ¿Ã
. T h e i n s u l a r n a t u r e o f t h e Felix
o
Editorial t e a m m a d e it e a s t o m a i n t a i n
Hughes
had m a n a g e d to carve a definite char-
£
¡¢ .
acter f o r Felix, a n d t u r n it i n t o a n i n s t i t u tion.
o
up of
sports a n d club reports, occasional n e w s
o
o
o
articles, a n d literar w r i t i n g , m o s t l witt
Žpƒvwo
. T h e e d i t o r i a l s › ½¾ › ™ s m a d e it
issues
™ š › œs w a s m o r e
editorial control a n d political direction,
of a gentleman's club than a n e w s p a p e r
o
- a literar o u t l e t f o r e x - p u b l i c s c h o o l
o
friends w h o m or e c o m m o n l
met
s o m e t h i n g that t h e a d v e n t o f U n i o n s u b -
Felix in t h o s e earl
t h r o u g h t h e d r i n k i n g clubs. That
Felix
w a s a priv at e c l u b , o p e n t o c o n t r i b u t i o n

but w a r o f n e w m e m b e r s , is o b v i o u s
o
f r o m a flick t h r o u g h o f t h o s e earl i s s u e s .
o
Th e 'Felix B o a r d ' w a s a n internall e l e c t e d
t e a m o f writers a n d sub-editors, e l e c t i n g
ž
t h e f o l l o w i n g ™ š › œ s e d i t o r at t h e e n d o f
the s u m m e r t e r m .
Felix's t r a d i t i o n a l i n d e p e n d e n c e a n d
occasional o p p o s i t i o n to Imperial
l e g e U n i o n a l s o b e g a n in t h e first
Coloƒ y w
.
T h e f o u r t h i s s u e s a w a n irate P a u l C u m m i n g , t h e n U n i o n President, w r i t i n g a let-
/W
¤ ¥¦ t
f. ti:,,h
¯° till
²³ ´
± © tic
thTnfY
'(
e r o d e . A t t h e s a m e t i m e it w a s u n m i s v yĉ‚o
o
o
, u n a s h a m e d l and appalingi an
A*
'Links' D r i n k i n g C l u b s i n t o j o u r n a l i s m .
Still, g o o d t h i n g s c o m e f r o m s m a l l b e g i n -
ˆ ‚ ˆ w Ž w ‰ ‰ ‚  o
r e a d e r s . T h e first p r o f i l e ,
,
’
’
o
l o o k e d at t h e h i s t o r o f t h e U n i o n Bar.
o
A p p a r e n t l t h e first C o l l e g e Bar in t h e
µpˆ‚vwo
, t h e first b a r m a n w a s J i m P e a l e t t e r p u b l i s h e d late r that
oƒyw
, c l a i m i n g t h e priveledge to belong to a
o vƒw‰pˆ
s
woman
’
T h e b a s i c a r g u m e n t w a s that t h e U n i o n
Union Building was
h a d a g r e e d t o p aq f i n e s i n c u r r e d bq s t u -
built, t h e bar a r e a
dents
w a s i n t e n d e d as a
ƒµwƒvywo¶
’
s office. Ihe
{¸ }{¹º }~
first U n i o n ·
, a
¼
m e m b e r s . T h e c o l u m n c o n t i n u e d ver
o
oƒyw
f o r Felix's first f i v e
’,
nings...
successfull
before b e c o m i n g somewhat more spo-
From Beer to Broadsheet
radic in a p p e a r a n c e .
T h e s e c o n d c o l u m n o n its first
c o c k , a l t h o u g h h e d e n i e s this in a
c a l l e d A u n t i e . Apparo
entl
when
the;
breaking the law during the
N o v e m b e r Ÿ h R a g activities , b u t t h e n
o
h ad a p p a r e n t l c h a n g e d its m i n d , f e e l i n g
ª«¬ ®
§¨© ­ ,
e x t e n s i o n of t h e '21', '22', 'Chaps' a n d
week's editorial c o n c e r n i n g Rag fines.
ter o f c o m p l a i n t c o n c e r n i n g t h e p r e v i o u s
s i d i e s a n d I C U C l u b r e g u l a t i o n s w e r e to
7. "i
appearance
-
also dealt
with
beer but, unlike Profile,
.
,
f^mr
We have had s o m e feedback from the
o
p r e v i o u s 'Fift Y e a r s O n ' c o l u m n , i n c l u d -
alcohol w a s to b e Ihe
i n g i n p u t o n t h e o r i g i n o f t h e n a m e Felix.
s u b j e c t m a t t e r f o r all
A l l o w m e t o q u o t e extracts o f a letter I
o
o
recentl
received from Anthon
dc
o ‰µ
R e u c k , a Å Æ ’ s s t u d e n t f r o m ÇÈÉÊËÌÇ ,
of
its i s s u e s .
Drinking
'The
Man's
Guide to London'
o
w a s exactl w h a t q r u
w o u l d expect; a p u b
‘
was reviewed ever
opˆ‚
week where a
g
m a n m aq m o p h i s f e v e r e d
w h o w a s a n e d i t o r o f P h o e n i x a n d writer
for Felix.
"The f a m i l i a r n a m e u s e d b q t h e intim a t e s in t h e Links C l u b o f t h e F o u n d i n g
o
Father o f Felix, that is t o sa T e d H u g h e s ,
that "for t h e U n i o n t o p a q t h e f i n e s w o u l d
Mr Houghton,
a p p e a r as a c o n d o n a t i o n o f t h e o f f e n c e ,
feet,
w a s ' F e l i x ' . Felix H u g h e s , d e b o n a i r , w i t h
o
a dr w i t a n d a satirical cast o f m i n d , w a s
w o u l d act a s a n i n c e n t i v e t o s t u d e n t s t o
that it b e t u r n e d i n t o a bar, a n d
o
the U n i o n C o m m i t t e e eventuall a g r e e d .
r e l a x i n g over a pint o f ale. A n d h o w
a G u i l d s m a n a n d a M e c h a n i c a l Engineer.
b r e a k t h e l a w in f u t u r e . " M r H u g h e s s u g -
O t h e r p r o f i l e s o f t h e first s tu r i n c l u d e d
m u c h d i d it c o s t ? W e l l , t h e first p u b
He would
g e s t e d that a g e n e r a l m e e t i n g b e c a l l e d
t h e Rector , Sir R o d e r i c Hill; P a u l C u m -
i n c l u d e d w a s T h e W i n d s o r Castle' ( o f f
name
to d e b a t e t h e i s s u e .
m i n g , t h e U n i o n P r e s i d e n t ; s o m e local
K e n s i n g t o n C h u r c h Street), w h e r e o n e
f o u n d e d in 1949 , b u t F C E w e l s ( w h o m I
s h o p k e e p e r w h o w a s b l o n d e , » f o o t tall,
o
rather g o o d l o o k i n g ; a n d
c o u l d p u r c h a s e a pint o f C h e r r i n g t o n s I PA
d o n o t recall) u r g e d its a d o p t i o n as a
Two c o l u m n s a p p e a r e d in t h e sec-
demanded
b r o w a n d rest h i s t i r e d
n o t h a v e a p p l i e d his o w n
to t h e C o l l e g e N e w s p a p e r
he
o n d issu e. 'Profile' w a s i n t e n d e d t o f o c u s
and apparentl
for o n e e i g t h o f a p e n c e o r , f o r t h o s e
m e m o r i a l t o its F o u n d e r a n d as a n a s s o -
o n a n i n d i v i d u a l or i n s t i t u t i o n c o n n e c t e d
t h e Imperial C o l l e g e W o m e n ' s Assocao
t i o n , w h o at t h e t i m e h a d just o v e r fift
w h o w a n t t o g o a bit m o r e u p m a r k e t , the
n a n t g e n u f l e x i o n t o its a n c i e n t
to t h e c o l l e g e , or o t h e r w i s e o f interest t o
m i l d a n d bitter f o r o n e q u a r t e r
of a
cousin
Í
P h o e n i x . " (full letter o n letters p a g e » .
0
8
n
k
T
w o trials o f d i f f e r e n t n a t u r e s b u t o f
police a n d i n d e p e n -
e q u a l i m p o r t a n c e a r e in s e s s i o n
dence of the judicial
äåäæçè
.
ÎÑ
The ÏÐ l c o m Ý
m i s s i o n or Black é e
Î
I n q u i r w a s f o r m e d in
r i g h t n o w in K u a l a L u m p u r . O n e
has b e e n p r o c e e d i n g s i n c e last N o v e m Î
ber w h i l e t h e o t h e r onl b e g a n a fort-
n i g h t a g o . T h e f o r m e r is a n o r m a l H i g h
C o u r t trial w i t h t h e s o l e p u r p o s e o f
d e t e r m i n i n g o n e p e r s o n ' s guilt or i n n o ÎÑ
c e n c e , w h i l e t h e latter Is a Ï Ð l C o m Î
m i s s i o n o f ÒÓÔÕÖ× , n o t u n l i k e t h e
M a c P h e r s o n C o m m i s s i o n that investigated the Stephen fawrence's
case. However,
murder
Î
the contrast basicall
ends there. The s a m e m an , M r Anwar
ÑÛÜÎ
, is t h e f o c u s o f b o t h
Ibrahim, ÖÓØÙÖÚ
c a s e s . In a n a l m o s t
unprecedented
Ý
phenomenal manner, unmatched b
Î
Ñ Î
Ó Ð Ó e in t h e s h o r t h i s t o r o f t h e c o u n Î
Ú× , o n e m a n h a s c a u s e d s e v e r e d a m Î
a g e to t h e g o v e r n m e n t ' s credibilit in
the ÞßÞ s of the general
public. His
' p o w e r c o r r u p t i o n trial', d u b b e d as
àÑÜÑÎá Ñâ
Î
Ö s Trial o f t h e ã Ø Ó Ú Õ × , h a s
resulted in t h e p e o p l e q u e s t i o n i n g t h e
NikB Hafi ó
Inal.
at
quarters
commission
folded
later
and
I b r a h i m w a s b e a t e n w h i l e in t h e i r cusÑÎ
Ú Ð ê , f o l l o w i n g h i s arrest in S e p t e m b e r
Î Ñ
last Ø × . T h e p u r p o s e o f t h e c o m m i s -
admitted
apparentl
s i o n is t o n a m e t h e i n d i v i d u a l s t h a t
Î
ë
a s s a u l t e d t h e f o r m e r d e p u t P M . Earl
Ý
statements b s o m e police officers during the investigation suggested
him
tling a n d s h o c k i n g a c c o u n t o f t h e vic-
with
the upcoming
àÑÜÑÎá Ñ
Ö n
s t a t e e l e c t i o n s in t h e e a s t e r n
e n c o u n t e r i n g its first l i t m u s test a h e a d
o f t h e g e n e r a l e l e c t i o n , w h i c h h a s to
Ý
Î
be h e l d b earl
2000. Even t h o u g h
Î
t h e Dr M a h a t h i r - l e d p a r t h a s , f o r t h e
transferred to a secret hideout, stripped
time b e i n g , m a n a g e d to stabilise the
A n w a r c o n f i r m e d in f r o n t o f t h e m e m -
political s c e n e a n d turn a r o u n d the
Î
Î
e c o n o m t o w a r d s × Ø ø Ð Ù Ø × , it still f a c e s
b e r s o f t h e c o m m i s s i o n that t h e i n j u r i e s
an
w e r e t h e result o f h i m b e i n g b e a t e n ,
Ý
refuting suggestions b s o m e quarters
Î
that t h e w e r e s e l f - i n f l i c t e d . A f t e r l e a r n -
w e e k , t o o b s e r v e if t h e p r e s e n t
establishment over f u n d a m e n t a l issues
m a n n e r in w h i c h h u n d r e d s o f police
ing of these events h o w can the ordiÎ àÑÜÑÎá Ñ
nar
not share
Anwar
Ö n
s u c h as j u s t i c e a n d h u m a n r i g h t s . In
special force unit m e m b e r s
stormed
I b r a h i m ' s f e a r s w h e n h e p o n d e r e d , "If
a d d i t i o n t o that, w o r r i e s
been
i n t o h i s h o u s e to arres t h i m , a s t h o u g h
raised over t h e p r o f e s s i o n a l i s m o f t h e
h e w a s a n a r m e d a n d d a n g e r o u s crim-
I'm g i v e n t h i s k i n d o f t r e a t m e n t , w h a t
Îù
a b o u t t h e o t h e r p e o p l e in this ø Ð Õ Ó Ú × "
have
the ex-DPM a n d " l o s i n g his c o o l " .
public uproar. His ordeal didn't e n d
n a k e d , d u m p e d in a d u n g e o n a n d f o r
tim h i m s e l f that must have a s t o u n d e d
Î àÑÜÑÎá Ñ á
man
Ö Ó : for example, the
to a s s a u l t i n g A n w a r after
Î
Ý
b e i n g verball provoked b
there, as h e recalle d that h e w a s t h e n
four õö÷s d e n i e d m e d i c a l care. A m e d Î
ical d o c t o r w h o e v e n t u a l l
examined
it w a s t h e star-
former
s t a t e o f S a b a h o n 12 a n d 13 M a r c h , t h e
Ñ Î
r u l i n g c o a l i t i o n ú ×Ú , N a t i o n a l f r o n t is
that
assailants. However,
the
bloodied, bruised a n d with the famous
Ý
left b l a c k ô e w h i c h h a s c a u s e d s t r o n g
the ex-police chief, Rahlm Noor, w h o
r e s i g n e d i n ì í î ïí ðñ , m i g h t h a v e b e e n
ò
directl
i n v o l v e d as o n e o f t h e
Î
Meanwhile,
leaving
that
of Police, Rahim
Ñ
Î
Î
N o o r , t h r o u g h his ÚÚÐ×ÓØ , h a s finall
Anwar
claimed
were
Inspector-General
handcuffed,
that h e w a s bru-
Anwar
At t h e t i m e t h i s c o l u m n w a s w r i t ÎÑ
l
t e n , t h e lates t f i n d i n g s f r o m t h e ×Ð
on, while blind-
the w a k e o f t h e findconcluded
Then,
the police h e a d -
u p h i l l b a t t l e t o r e t a i n p o w e r in
Î
S a b a h . A l l Þ ß Þ s a r e d e f i n i t e l o n this
û
politicall v o l a t i l e state d u r i n g t h e next
gov-
e r n m e n t c a n b e r e t u r n e d t o p o w e r in
view of the strong emergence of two
o p p o s i t i o n parties, t h e United Sabah
ü
Part
(PBS) a n d t h e F e d e r a t i o n o f
ü
S a b a h P e o p l e ' s F r o n t Part ( B e r s e k u t u ) .
t
,
B
lock v o t e . Wait, n o . C h i n e s e granite.
Ý
N o , that's w r o n g . M a p o l o g i e s . It
a
bit o f l u g g i n g
fridges
ÿ
v e n i e n t (but ver cold) flats
trul
in
standing.
this c o l u m n . W o m e n . Yes, I t h i n k it's c o m à á Î
Ý
ing back to m e . Ö Ø× . Despair. B Jove.
a b o u t , for s o m e reason.) So
l
Ýý
before
u w r i t e in w i t h
Î
ÐÕ r g r i p e s a n d m o a n s , c o n s i d e r that t h e
Î
Î
cat is o n l h u m a n . I w o u l d also like Ð u to
G o t it.
b e a r this in m i n d next t i m e
Ýý
H e l l o t o o n e a n d all . I'm s u r e
u
Ý
won't b e w o n d e r i n g w h I haven't graced
Ý
t h e s e p a g e s for a w h i l e . W h t h e m i r a c u Î
lous return? Stud this q u e s t i o n further, a n d
Ý
ask, w h d i d I write t h e article at t h e b e g i n Î
n i n g o f term? A m I reall that g o o d ? N o .
I w rite s o m e t h i n g crap. O r
p l a n s c u l m i n a t e in l o n g
m a k e a spelling mistake.
a n d e x p e n s i v e treks across
s e e m s I've f o r g o t t e n h o w t o w rite
S h u c k s . It w a s b e c a u s e o u r e d i t o r , Ed
" N i c h o l s o n " S e x t o n (nice o n e , Gulix) h a s
b e g u n t o t h i n k a l o n g similar lines t o t h e
þ
previous editor, o n e Jerem
"WinNuke"
ÿ
T h o m s o n , in realising t h e f o l l o w i n g , v e r
important p r e m i s e : this c o l u m n
never,
ever n e e d s p r o o f r e a d i n g . [ S m u g noises
áÜÎ
Ýý
u will h a v e n o t i c e d
Ø×ÖÐÕ , t h o u g h ,
South
Kensington.
ÑÎÛ
Some, e even most,
know, old fellow, b u t never mind. O h ,
further out. Here's t h e p o i n t : don't b e disÎ
c o n c e r t e d if Ð Õ r l i v i n g
Lon don . Picking a c h e a p
that w a s batting... Hick is b o w l e d
Î
Î
Î
b a frightful g o o g l I can't b e l i e v e the
Î
didn't p i c k H u s s a i n . . . it's a b s o l u t e l atro
Î
cious... N o , wait. Ð×× .
ò á ÑÎ
Î
, Ú ÖÓ g u p until s o m e u n g o d l
flat c a n m e a n g e t t i n g a
h o u r to w a i t f o r t h e e l e c t i o n results w a s -
w r o t e s o m e t h i n g a b o u t flat
lounge, a n d getting single
Î â
r o o m s . Best o f all, Ð Õ × e
Î â
n o l on g er a student; ÐÕ × e
n't s o b a d - b o r e d w i t h a r r a n g i n g barberÝ
s h o p h a r m o n i e s o f "Wh Are W e Waiting?",
Îá Ü
Ø f a n d D e n n i s " d r u m fill" Patrickson did
h u n t i n g . (I r e m e m b e r s o m e Ý
in m
department
a n inhabitan t o f L o n d o n .
Î
á Ü
E x p o s i n g ÐÕ × Ø f t o a dif-
a cracking d r u n k e n rendition o f Oasis'
complementing m e o n the
ferent cross-section o f s o c i Î
et is refreshing after b e i n g
laugh..."
I was looking through
ýÝ
, did I
o l d Felixes, a n d ,
write s o m e
drivel
t i m e s . This t i m e last
some
r I
one
p i e c e . B e l i e v e m e , I w a s as
Ýý
u are now. I
Î
w r o t e it in t w e n t m i n u t e s .
Supersonic.
All t o g e t h e r n o w : "...make
me
W h e n it's all s a i d a n d d o n e ,
t h o u g h , t h e e l e c t i o n h a s g i v e n birth to
s u r p r i s e d as
s t u c k in t h e r o o m next t o
Tasha g o the And
DP t&W, the newest sabb, b e given the
It w a s s h a m b o l i c . ) I w a s sit-
that a c o u p l e o f last t e r m ' s c o l u m n i s t s
t i n g in t h e c o m p u t e r r o o m ,
h a v e parties.
h ave b a i l e d o u t o f t h e o l d w r i t i n g lark, at
Ñ ÜÎ
least ÚØ úÐ× ×Ö . It just g o e s t o s h o w that
Î
Ýý
this j o b is n o t as eas as
u m i g h t think.
t h i n k i n g a b o u t this, a n d lisá Î Ñ
t e n i n g t o t w o Ö× Ú Ø × s dis-
frigging election special. (There's also quite
delightful
will b e stuck in c h e a p e r residences; h o u s e s
t h e Residen t Linstead A c i d
Î
T e c h n o Freak. Plus Ð u c a n
It's not all s m o k e d s a l m o n a n d c h a m p a g n e
Î
á ÑÎ
with M r C a l d w e l l , Ð u k n o w . It's Ú ÖÓ g u p
Ý
until six in t h e m o r n i n g d o i n g ô t a n o t h e r
Î
\o s e e s o m a n c a n d i d a t e s
ÜÎ
ÐÙØ . Bit m o r e c o m p e t i t i o n for
Ýý
the o l d Telix w o u l d h a v e b e e n nice,
u
c u s s i n g living p l a n s for next
Î Ñ
Ø × , w h e n I realised s o m e -
W e had s o m e sabbatN o smile, n o fag, n o
Ýý
p h o n e ; Just
u and me
t h i n g that I didn't k n o w w h e n I w r o t e t h e
á Î Ñ
o r i g i n al article. N o t all Ö× Ú Ø × s a r e g o i n g
to g e t re-app places. N o t all will g e t con-
hour
Ü ÑÎ
ical e l e c t i o n s , d i d n ' t w e ?
Ýý
Ýý
What d o
u mean,
u
don't know? I spent a g o o d
Î
ÖÓ g out t h o s e interviews s o Ð u lot
c o u l d b e well-informed. Pah. Don't w a n t t o
Û Î Î
d w e l l o n it, dear Ð , Ð u k n o w , but it w a s
i n t e r e s t i n g s w e e p s t a k e o p p o r t u n i t i e s . Will
Î
H e e p s route? [201 Will
half t h e s a b b s elect fail their ?
1 Will
smallest office? [2-1 . Will t h e p o r t a k a b i n s
ÿ
c o n t a i n i n g t h e f elix office next r b e ver
Î
c r u d d i n d e e d ? [Yes.
It p a i n s m e t o d o it, b u t I'm g o i n g to
Ýý
u n o w . For s o m e r e a s o n ,
have to leave
t h e e d i t o r w a n t s m e t o m o v e his fridges
around again.
IMPERIAL COLLEQE UNION MALAYSIAN SOCIETY
the Malaysian 'Gadis Sarawak' Dance
was one of the show's more sophisticated
performances
'International Night
Review, F E L I X 1137'
YOU
Date
: 21 st Marcl
Venue : Great H<
erial College
Time ; 4.001
Admission
Also perfot
C
.
-An endearing story with song and traditional dancesPLUS
th
th
tickets available in the J C R : 8 to 12 March 12:00 to 2:00p.m.
~ G R O U P DISCOUNTS A V A I L A B L E ~
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Outside Biomedical Building
a n d t h e b e g i n n i n g o f n e x t . T h e s e w i l l t a k e p l a c e in t h e U n i o n D i n i n g H a l f a n d
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representatives o f various charities.
Bulger f r o m t h e charit
EFGGH
T h e first w i l l b e b
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Patrick
L e p r a , a n d w i l l b e in t h e last w e e k o f t e r m . This is t o , h o p e -
ndulre
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, r e c r u i t s u p p o r t f o r a s t r e e t c o l l e c t i o n o n 2 7 t h A p r i l d u r i n g l u n c h t i m c a l s o in
a i d o f L e p r a . T h e d a t e o f t h e t a l k is
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IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION
Union
mi
l
4
8
s
A
c
PNB's
Night's

–—˜™˜š
Dream
š
l of A
i m a g i n a t i v e sets a n d c o s t u m e s c r e a t e d
tion a n d t e m p t a t i o n e x p l o r e d b the bal-

Martin
š¡œ¢£¤Ÿš¥
šŸ™
, inspired b
‘
‘
floral
let a r e t h e n b l u r r e d b
a n d c o n v o l u t e d t w i s t s o f t h e p l o t . In
short, t h e i n n o c e n t victim w o r k s as a n
›š¤˜

œšŸ£
a c t r e s s a n d t h e f i l m d i r e c t o r casts D o n
. Prin-
Juan as her partner.
c i p a l star, P a t r i c i a Barker ( p i c t u r e d left in
Danish
full flight) e x c e l s a s t h e g r a c e f u l Q u e e n
‘
Titania, In a plot d e s c r i b e d b
Balanchine
ª
As a n eight

¦§¨
r old
ž—

fantas
, Balanchine


f o r m e d their i n t e r p r e t a t i o n o f t h e
©—–šŸ
Night's
Dream,
George
‘
in

‘
r e d e s i g n e d b P N B Artistic D i r e c t o r f ranc i a R u s s e l l , is i n c i d e n t l

t h e first full-
«

s
—ªŸ
g students from the
o w n school
dancing
as
d e l i g h t f u l b u g s in t h e ballet.
staged b the
Balanchine
As o n e o f the leading regional dance
c o m p a n i e s in A m e r i c a , this Seattle-based
troupe has £¤¬–œš

¢
d o u t s t a n d i n g talent
a n d superlative finish.
­¤™¢˜šœœ

, a stunning
spellbinding show.
length r e m a s t e r e d narrative t o g a i n t h e
A MIDSUMMER
loves
Demetrius.
D e m e t r i u s loves H e r m i a . Herloves
›

¬šŸ£¢˜
.
Shake-
speare invented neither the traged
nor t h e c o m e d

- the Greeks
care of both -but b
s h o w c a s e for t h e talents o f
T
T h e a t r e u n t i l h i s d e p a r t u r e in 1990 , w i t h
t h e d e t e r i o r a t i o n o f t h e S o v i e t cultural
t i n t e d g l a s s e s , a n e n r a g e d D e v i l is
d e s p i t e his v i l l a i n o u s i n t e n t i o n s - o f a vir-
strup ( w h o also f o u n d e d t h e fledgling
t u o u s w o m a n . Fie t h e r e f o r e e n l i s t s t h e
Arc Dance C o m p a n

services of the legendar
philanderer,
D o n J u a n , t o corrupt a n d s e d u c e this bas

tion o f female
©²š¬™¤™
Lothario then
leaves his 'purgatorial

. The legendar
‘

took
setting his stor
of spirits. N o English forest s h o u l d b e
w i t h o u t its w h i s p e r i n g
Ÿ

, read
–²¬

to trick a n d c o n f u s e mortal travellers.
Spilt t h e milk? T h e f l i g h t

have j o g g e d

Oberon
—ª

Puck
must
r arm.
carpenter with a crippling inferiorit
and
offering their
™š¤Ÿ™

.
but i m m e n s e
[Note:
The
a n d Titania, the

Fair
with an in-depth
šŸšœ
cer-
Mechanicals'

¬¤
harsh
daughters
parents
a
what
complete
s of the
ÉÊ
‘
, of
liferated
throughout
20th
simple
w h o m s h e is q u i t e f o n d a n d O b e r o n
Britain, a remarkable
choice b e t w e e n marriage to a villain
is n o t . T h e j e a l o u s K i n g s e n d s P u c k t o
s i n c e it w a s w r i t t e n i n 1
or d e a t h o n a n a l t a r . T h e G o d s a r e
pluck a u n i q u e flower, struck
o f t e n t h r o w n in t o c o m p l e t e t h e s t a n -
ÆËÃ Ì
dard formula. Peering
Cupid's
b o w . "The juice
sleeping
¢
–ª
down
from
s in a s l a c k h o u r , t h e
interested

in t h e love
affairs o f m o r t a l s , so it's r e a s o n a b l e

to a s s u m e that t h e
must be j u m pi n g
in t o s p r e a d a b i t o f c o n f u s i o n a n d
s
before

b
¢œ¤£
‘
an
–œš

,

d o t e u p o n t h e next
l i v e c r e a t u r e t h a t it s e e s " . F l o w e r p r o c u r e d , P u c k d a b s it o n t h e
¢
Titania as s h e sleeps . Hilarit

¢œ¤£

s of
ensues.
advises
Englishmen and w o m e n of the mid-
people w h o g o to

a r o m a n c e in
w e r e n ' t t h e sort
to tolerate m e d d l i n g G r e e k
deities.
w a n t e d s o m e t h i n g a little c l o s e r
to h o m e , s o m e t h i n g w i t h a h i n t o f
and mixed motives.
Fairies.
š˜
d is t r u l
No

The

moss-covered
complete without
a hideous goblin and a detachment
in
Love,
Shakespeare
–œš

s reall


that
want to
s e e " a kiss, a fight a n d a bit w i t h a
small d o g " .There
dogs here,
but there
Mechanicals,
sioned
ÍÎÏÐÑÒÓ
Athens'
aren't
and
ÕÖ×ØÙ
Ô
wedding
‘
small
are the Rude
tradesmen
to perform
an
commis-
the traged

of
for the Duke of
feast.
The
onl

m e c h a n i c a l s o f n o t e a r e Ihe r e m a r k abl

tall Peter Q u i n c e , a
repressed
the
À¾ Ú Û
1
Dream
although
Mid-
extraordinaril
Ü
talented Simon Watts
fills t h e s t a g e w i t h e n e r g
moment

he swings down
ªäª¢Ÿ—
«
s
idl
Ý
‘

wh
chief
‘
Puck
¢ ŸÞ —
for others.
unhapp
makes


s
more
childhood?
it p l a i n t h a t
mis-
Simon
å
P u c k is a c h i l d ,
a n d will remain so for ever. W h e r e a s
P e t e r P a n is t h e c h i l d w h o
pil
Ý
–œš

s hap-
in t h e park w i t h his f r i e n d s , P u c k
is t h e i n f a n t w h o c a n ' t r e s i s t d u c k i n g
the
girls
together
in t h e w a t e r
the shoelaces
and
of

Matthew
is a l s o s l i g h t l
Jack Straw
plot

then
illustrates
d i d r u n s m o o t h " , bu t in
–œš
­

¬šŸ£¢
r comforts
as s h e c o n t e m p l a t e s

¦§¨
¢˜
her
d e a t h or m a r r i a g e .
s in t h i s p r o d u c t i o n a r e all
r s t u d e n t s o f t h e Rose Bru-
ford C o l l e g e , a n d their p e r f o r m a n c e s
d i d full j u s t i c e t o S h a k e s p e a r e ' s tragicomic g e m .
A Midsummer
be
over
review,
dents
7.30pm
b
‘
Night's
‘
the time
but the Rose
are
Dream
Ê
will
u read the
Burford
performing
stu-
again
at
o n t h e 9th, 10th a n d 11th
M a r c h . T h e pla
Dorfman,

is Widows,
b
‘
Ariel
a n d it's b e i n g s h o w n
¤Ÿ
g
t h e ICA ( t o p e n d o f t h e M a l l ,
ß à µ á â
g
utes from Piccadll
™

that " t h e c o u r s e o f true
choice between
an
Watts
grace.
wheeling
love never
final
making


this c a s e it's b e c a u s e t h e s e are t h e
The
Did he have
Bellam
Blair.
The
from the
t o t h e ICA, I h a d w o n d e r e d
character,
Meredith
Oberon
ponderous,
Ton
from the
ce l l i n g to deliver the p r o l o g u e . O n
the wa
choose to
Diana
have the same eas
ã
beautifull
flies or d i e s
definition

s h a r e s t h e f i g u r e , s h e d o e s n ' t reall
achievement
a production of
Night's

a Princess
Hermia
Henslow

Whether
summer
centur
but

words with which
audience, an d while the middle-aged
dle a g e s might enjo
and
d e p e n d s in l a r g e m e a s u r e o n Puck.
T o w a r d s t h e start o f t h e r e c e n t l
foreign climes, the

from
characterise,
This o n e soars, as the n i m b l e a n d
f i l m Shakespeare

Helena
o f it o n
released
©²ª˜©²
man
arrow
Not quite. Shakespeare k n e w his
wanted
nical p o t e n t i a l .
s laid will m a k e a m a n
or w o m a n m a d l
.
È
training or highlight his a c c l a i m e d tech -
portra
knowledge
A m a t e u r Dramatic societies that pro-
lovers
ambiguit
, unfortu-
fails t o f u l l c h a l l e n g e his classical
tle
nia has a c q u i r e d an Indian

¾ ¿ ÀÁ
½
in
c o m e s with the role. M a n
be t e r m e d a n o p e n r e l a t i o n s h i p . Tita-
The


c o m p l e x , a n d B o t t o m , a w e a v e r o f lit-
tortured rehearsal scene,


trated

natel

K i m Brand-
a n d travels t o t h e
e n c e a n instant r e f e r e n c e p o i n t . Frus-
™˜šÇ¢£
‘
duction, choreographed b
is t h e first d o c u m e n t e d s a t i r e o f t h e
s seem
infrastructure. H o w e v e r this m o d e r n p r o -
horrified to discover the existence -
might
à ÄÅ Ã Æ
a
n born
H e l l . D r e s s e d in a slick suit w i t h
King a n d Q u e e n , enjo

¼š¥š

h e b a l l e t ' s p r o l o g u e t a k e s p l a c e in
in a n c i e n t A t h e n s , h e g i v e s t h e a u d i -
œ
is basicall
ICA
elena
Mount

DREAM
e
mia
hap-
t innovative a n d energetic
This d r a m a t i c c o m e d
boudoir' of debaucher
¯°±¯
®
a p p r o v a l o f t h e c h o r e o g r a p h e r ' s trust.
H
,

d a n c e r Irek M u k h a m e d o v ( p i c t u r e d left),
D
. This lavish p r o d u c t i o n , a d m i r a b l
‘ »
p r i n c i p a l d a n c e r at t h e M o s c o w B o l s h o i
a crowd of
’“”•
a n d p o p to
³ ´µµ
score with dominant percussion.

fore s e e m e d rather a p p r o p r i a t e t o have
distinguished
Helweg
of musical
, w h i c h probabl w a s his
©—¢£
u r i n g their r e c e n t L o n d o n d e b u t ,

s ranging from

initial I n t r o d u c t i o n t o t h e p i e c e . It t h e r e -
t h e P a c i f i c N o r t h w e s t Ballet p e r -
originall
Ϣ
¶·¸·¹º
b u r g theatre p r o d u c t i o n o f t h e Bard's
Midsummer

d t h e part o f a n e l f in a Saint Peters-
¢
Kim
baroque, creating an admittedl
problems of loving a n d being loved".
–œš
composer
b l e n d s a n e x t e n s i v e variet
as " t h e r e s o l u t i o n o f t h e c o n f u s i o n a n d
A
the superfluous
R e n a i s s a n c e m o t i f s . C o m b i n e d w i t h Felix
magic and adventure of

‘
M e n d e l s s o h n ' s e n c h a n t i n g s c o r e , this
imaginative performance captured the
Shakespearean comed
to a c c o m p l i s h his mission.
The potent t h e m e s o f sexual manipula-
›œšž—
,

20t h c e n t u r
with
b
was
Midsummer


æ
at
min-
Circus).
adults.
fair

q u e e n s are a hard b u n c h to
Ttienne
Pollard
8
s
n
B
illed
as
a
ç èé ê ë ì ê í î
'musical
latest theatrical
performed throughout
the
Union,
fable
was
a
of
Detroit (John Franks) a n d the
ïðñòóôõö
s
showgirl Miss Adelaide
ó÷ôøùúùûùüýù
,
son), the
, Operatic
last w e e k
at
classõ
distinctlõ
terson
(John
idealistic
e
reformed
Addi-
s i n n e r Skõ
Lofthouse)
missionarõ
Austin)
brassõ
(Julia
- proof
Mas-
and
Sarah
the
Brown
indeed
that
Overall, the
stan-
A s p a r k l i n g a n d i n s p i r a t i o n a l ùòøõt a l e at h e a r t ,
this classic m u s i c a l
essentiallõ about
taking chances
life. U n d e r t h e g u i d a n c e
embellished øððõn twang, d e m o n -
is
strated the
in
asm of the
dedication and
ñð
O n stage, the chemistrõ
of director
Phil Ftollman, t h e e x p r e s s i v e a c t i n g w a s
the
perfectlõ
a p p e a r e d t h a t t h e O p S o c cast
paced
and
balanced.
The
enthusi-
ùüõ.
characters
was
between
tangible
óü
-
it
ðõód
affair. Frank L o e s s e r ' s q u i n t e s s e n t i a l
ÿ and Dolls, s e t in N e w Y o r k d u r þ
o p p o s i t e s attract.
õ ü ù ò c a n d light-hearted d a n c e rou-
p e r f o r m i n g just as m u c h as t h e a u d i -
i n g t h e late
dard of the singing - chorus and leads
tines were interspersed with
moments
ence appreciated the show. Our com-
alike - w a s extremelõ impressive; each
of g e n u i n e
touching
memorable,
romance.
our
of
940s, c a p t u r e s t h e g l a m -
show
business
and
excitement of the gangster
the
genre.
The storõ f o l l o w s t h e parallel relationships of two couples; the
quent crapshooting gambler
delinNathan
catchõ t u n e
was
deliv-
e r e d w i t h skill a n d g u s t o , the
ðýón
humour
and
The attention to detail, f r o m
the
s t r o n g b a n d c o n d u c t e d bõ P a u l J e a n e s
kitschõ a n d o f t e n r i s q u e k a l e i d o s c o p i c
providing the costumes
ùýýõ
accompaniment.
p l i m e n t s to all i n v o l v e d o n s u c h
an
entertaining, ùôòõòüg a n d polished
to
the
perfection
of
an
production.
Helena
and
tlisa
8
s
e
he Institute o f C o n t e m p o r a r Arts
has surel o n e o f t h e m o s t t r e n d
T
bars i n L o n d o n o n its p r e m i s e s .
How
out o f place
I w a s in jeans,
pierc-
pullover a n d having n o b o d
ings. Leather trousers, h i p p i e c h i c a n d
s i d e . T h e i n f l u e n c e o f t h e Fast
Show
sets u p r e s p e c t a b l e characters to d r a g
In Love)
t h e i r r e p u t a t i o n s t h r o u g h t h e m u d , ( a n d p o s s i b l Shakespeare
&
was clearl a p p a r e n t in M a t h i e u t h e
o n l to e n d u p s e t t i n g all t o rights in
the
denouement.
A trul class
performance w a s
given b M a t t h e w Bunting, g the
it
lead, Pinglct - a hen-pecked husband
s e e m e d . The assembled l u w i e s stared
at m c h u m ' s C & G r u g b s h i r t , c l e a r l
g t o d e c i d e i f it w a s B a r a d i o r
s e e k i n g t o s e d u c e his straight-laced
$'
g wife. H eheld the
neighbour's
cremc
de menthe
w e r e de rigeur,
M c Q u e e n . A r e s t r i p e s i n t h i s ?
O b l i v i o u s , w e b o u g h t t w o p i n t s o f bitt e r . M i n u t e s l a t e r t h e last c a l l f o r t h e
pla r a n g o u t , s o w e d o w n e d o u r a l e
and went t o o u r seats i n t h e au dito rium.
I h a d n o idea what to expect hav
i n g n e v e r h e a r d o f t h e title o r t h e wright G e o r g e s u befor e a n d
"#
was pleasantl surprised to find !
f
l a u g h i n g heartil at s o m e e x c e l l e n t
stage slapstick. N i n e t e e n t h centur
F r e n c h f a r c e , it s e e m s , is o b s e s s e d
"$%#
. It
with ridiculing b o u r g e o i s
s t a g e like a W e s t End p r o a n d h a d t h e
timing to match. H e was admirabl
%
(
$%%
supported b a
) l
range o f characters - a sauc
maid,
$ *
, four
the 'inspector o f public ! b a r r i s t e r ' s ( R o w a n T a l b o t ) s tu tter. W h e n
w a n t i n g to s a '...ver k i n d o f m a d a m e
" 000
' it c a m e o u t ' v e r to a s k m e t o k i n d o f m a d a m e t o a r s e . . . a r s e . . . arSE...
%
"
%$ ' "#
12 23 !3
/ > ASK
"
m e . . . ' S o m e m i g h t s a that t h i s
e of
c o m e d is j u v e n i l e o r u n s o p h i s t i c a t e d ,
'
.
b u t t h a t d o e s n ' t s t o p it b e i n g 4
5
When
u turn u p t o a pla
with
$'
r spirits d o u s e d b a d a in front o f
u p puncturing Pinglet's
back-
dies o f t h e self-assured s n o b i s h n e s s o f
the m i d d l e classes o f the time, even
$; t h o u g h the are n ot so relevant
,
add t h e extra d i m e n s i o n w h i c h makes
affair slightl m o r e cere-
the whole
bral.
T h i s s e a s o n o f s is a s h o w c a s e
ARSE...
a beige g l o w i n g box a n d leave clicking
$'
r h e e l s i n t h e air a n d w h i s t l i n g a
g i g g l i n g schoolgirls a n d their a d o p t i v e
$'
merr tune o n
r w a to the tube,
father. T h r o w t h e m all t o g e t h e r for a
$
u k n o w s o m e t h i n g is r i g h t . I h a d
night in a d o d g
Paris h o t e l a n d t h e
+ , - "
that l i g h t - h e a r t e d , l u n g s h u r t i n g f e e l i n g
e c a p e r s start a p a c e . T h e
n
as I w o u n d m w a h o m e o n t h e Bakcompan
brought off the set piece
c r l o o line. I h a v e n ' t felt t h e a s t h o r g a g s . . T h e a u d i e n c e split t h e i r
6
$#'"
oughl entertained since I went to a
sides w h e n a /
c porter drilled
7
seriousl g o o d night o f stand u p c o m a pee p hole in a door t o watch the
e d at LSE m o r e t h a n a 8 9 : r a g o . T h e
cavorting hotel guests, but instead
ended
of jokes; t h e ironies a n d savage paro-
for t h e g r a d u a t e s o f Rose Bruford,
#
$
man of w h o m can be sure of !
m e n t if t h e i r p r o f e s s i o n a l w o r k is u p t o
of this p e r f o r m a n c e . I used
the qualit
to h a v e a p o o r v i e w o f d r a m a s t u d e n t s , b u t if t h e c a n l e a r n t o e n t e r t a i n
this well I sa k e e p u p t h e g o o d work.
< $' # 4
, t h i s p l a w i l l h a v e r u n its
(
c o u r s e b t h e t i m e this review gets
p r i n t e d . If w h a t I s a w is ) g to go
. , though, Iwould recommend going
t o s e e t h e last p l a in t h e s e a s o n - Wid-
ows,
which
runs
from
March
lain
t h i n g is t h a t a f a r c e Is m o r e t h a n a s e t
S
9 to
March 11.
anjida O ' C o n n c l l , a television pro-
O n t h e w h o l e , Niall is t h e kin d o f per-
ducer a n d director w h o has also
s o n o n e t e n d s t o l e a v e at a n a r m ' s l e n g t h
a f t e r a bit b e c a u s e h e g r o w s s t e a d i l
$
g - I w a s certainl t e m p t e d to
w r i t t e n f o r N e w Scientist, h a p p e n s
$$ $>"
t - a n d t h i s fact is
r e f l e c t e d q u i t e clearl t h r o u g h o u t m u c h
5
o f Angel Bird. T h e first t h i n g
u notice
to b e a t r a i n e d =
s h u t t h e b o o k a b o u t three-quarters o f t h e
t h r o u g h a n d just give u p , a l t h o u g h
wa
a b o u t t h e b o o k ( w h e n r e a d i n g it, o f I'm g l a d I d i d n ' t d o s o . N o n e o f t h e o t h e r
c h a r a c t e r s is b u i l t u p s u f f i c i e n t l c o n ABCDBCEFG
, h o w e v e r , a n d that h a s t o b e
ing the behaviour of magpies!
c o u r s e ! ) is t h e a t t e n t i o n t o d e t a i l r e g a r d -
Niall - w e n e v e r l e a r n h i s s u r n a m e $$ $>"
"';
t from Cambridge
g
is a =
( w h a t else?) m a g p i e s i n N o r t h e r n Ire
l a n d . Niall h a s p r e v i o u s l s t u d i e d d u n n o c k s a n d h i s f a t h e r is a n a u t h o r i t o n
o r c h i d s . Fair e n o u g h . N i a l l ' s s t u d o f
m a g p i e s involves h i m rearing five o f t h e
birds. H e e v e n g i v e s t h e m all n a m e s ? 2 , Rannee, Rena, Ron a n d Riordan.
one o f the biggest weaknesses o f the
b o o k . O t h e r w i s e , t h e d e p i c t i o n o f life in
a little Irish v i l l a g e is c e r t a i n l w o r t h r e a d $$ $>
i n g ; pit t h a t t h e =
sometimes
g e t s in t h e H I . W e d o n ' t reall w a n t t o
J
k n o w e v e r last d e t a i l r e g a r d i n g t h e s e x
life o f a m a g p i e , n o t in a w o r k o f f i c t i o n
l e a s t ! Niall- b e c o m e s i n c r e a s i n g l
at
o b s e s s e d w i t h his birds a n d t h e realisation o f h i s lost past - h i s lost c h i l d h o o d -
But this is all irrelevant d e t a i l .
Niall just h a p p e n s t o b e o n e o f t h o s e
m e n w h o ' s h a n d s o m e , clever a n d smart,
as w e l l as b e i n g s o m e w h a t m e s s e d - u p .
H e lands u p with t w o lovers - Eddie, a n
$ $ '" ) beautiful chef,
ambitious a n d @ ./
a n d N a d i a Ismail, d a u g h t e r in t h e "first
A s i a n f a m i l t o m o v e t o N o r t h e r n Ire-
c o m e s a s h e is o n t h e b r i n k o f m a k i n g a
major scientific discover - h e essentiall
l o s e s all g r i p o n realit o n l t o b e " r e s c u e d " b Eddie.
T h e a u t h o r ' s first w o r k o f fiction, ThcLM NOPQRS
w a s written to m u c h acclaim,
K K
winning a number
c o n t r i v e d tw is ts o f plot I've e v e r r e a d i n
o f awards. While
entertaining a n d
r e a d a b l e , it's a real pit that t h e r e a r e s o
m a n scattered hints about t h e e n d i n g .
U l t i m a t e l t h e n , t h i s is a c r e d i t a b l e s e c -
what purports to b e a w o r k o f serious,
&
qualit fiction. T h e repeated references
t e n t i o u s n e s s - n o t particularl
land". Eddie, o f course, k n o w s n o t h i n g
about Nadia and onl discovers b what,
"$ I'm
, has to b e o n e o f the most
Angel
Bird Is c e r t a i n l
o n d ef f or t w i t h o u t a stifling s e n s e o f p r e brilliant,
b u t a v e r g o o d r e a d n o n e t h e l e s s , w i t h
$ > . I k n o w
to t h e v i o l e n c e a n d c o n f u s e d p e r s o n a l
lives o f t h e m a g p i e s a r e n a t u r a l l
% m e t a p h o r i c a l - p e r h a p s laid o n t o o ) 2 .
that I'll l o o k o u t f o r o t h e r w o r k s f r o m this
S o m e descriptions o f violent
author!
attacks
between magpies, a n d 'the war of the
c r o w s ' , a r e e x c e s s i v e l g r a p h i c b u t lack
a n real s e n s e o f terror. T h e r e a d e r is left
far t o o d e t a c h e d f r o m t h e a c t i o n .
s o m e definite signs of
Sun/7 Rao
TUVW9 f r o m B l a c k S w a n P u b l i s h i n g
8
A
7
s
part f r o m p e r h a p s God: The Truth,
S e x u a l P r o b l e m s ' , like a b o r t i o n a n d r a p e .
it is d i f f i c u l t t o t h i n k o f a m o r e
I w o u l d like t o stress that I d o n ' t t h i n k
Y
these things are unimportant, a n d the
Y
a r e d e f i n i t e l n o t irrelevant, b u t it is q u i t e
a l l u r i n g title t h a n Hot Sex,
HowTo
Do It. S o w h e n I w a s a s k e d t o r e v i e w t h i s
X
Y
Miss Trace Cox, I w a s
book, written b
o b v i o u s that this b o o k is n o t m e a n t t o b e
i n t r i g u e d a s t o t h e a n g l e that t h e a u t h o r
all f u n a n d g a m e s in t h e b e d r o o m . In
fact, in t h e s e m o r e d e l i c a t e a r e a s t h e
g
sensitive
a n d h o p e f u l that 1 m i g h t f i n d s o m e e f f e c - a u t h o r m a n a g e s t o b e v e r
Y`ab
a
Y
Y
while remaining informative, although
tive Z [ \ ] ^ _
] l Z ] c [ d . O K , s o reall
w o u l d t a k e o n this f a s c i n a t i n g s u b j e c t ,
there w a s certainl
I t h o u g h t I m i g h t learn s o m e t h i n g , a n d
Y
a great deal o f infor-
n o t h i n g beats a g o o d counsellor.
Y
T h e b o o k is a l s o q u i t e clearl w r i t t e n
m a t i o n o n all facets o f s e x u a l relations (as
f o r w o m e n , a n d all ' h i n t s ' a r e w r i t t e n as
Bill C l i n t o n w o u l d h a v e it). A l t h o u g h t h e r e
is a great d e a l o n sex, h o w t o d o it, a n d
Y Xe
wh
u s h o u l d e v e n b o t h e r in t h e first
Y
p l a c e , all that I r e a d w a s n o t p a r t i c u l a r l
if t o a w o m a n s o that s h e c o u l d p a s s it
Xe
Y
u definitel get t h e
o n to her (and
f e e l i n g h e ' s u n w i l l i n g ) m a l e p a r t n e r . In
m o r e than o n e instance while describing
h o w t o give a w o m a n excellent oral s e x
new, or interesting.
` Yf
g
Y
The \ e is ver friendl a n d i n f o r m a l ,
Xe
u c a n s e e t h e a u t h o r ' s skill a s a n
and
Y
agon aunt for a p o p u l a r w o m e n ' s m a g ai
] h e h a s c o m e in u s e f u l in h e r w r i t i n g
and so on.
career. H o w e v e r t h i s c o u l d a l s o b e h e r
Y
d o w n f a l l - t h i s b o o k is d e f i n i t e l n o t
i n f o r m a t i o n , a n d t h e first w o r d o f t h e
a i m e d at o u r a g e g r o u p . Hot Sex s e e m s
Y
reall t o b e a c o m p e n d i u m o f all h e r
'greatest hits', w h i c h b e g i n s t o g e t q u i t e
X
irritating b t h e e n d . I d o n ' t m e a n that in
X
a patronising j k : I a m referring to t h e
fact that a l a r g e p r o p o r t i o n o f t h e b o o k
is d e d i c a t e d t o s u b j e c t s s u c h a s d e a l i n g
Xe
w i t h d i v o r c e , w h a t t o d o if
u suspect
Ylm
r ' p a r t n e r ' is h a v i n g a n affair, a n d a
(just f o r e x a m p l e . . . ) , t h e i n s t r u c t i o n s r u n
a l o n g t h e lines of, '...then g e t h i m t o r u n
Y lm
d pp p q ,
his t o n g u e a l o n g t h e l e n g t h o f
H o w e v e r t h e r e is s o m e u s e f u l s e x u a l
b o o k is m a s t u r b a t i o n , s o it c a n ' t b e all
Ylm
bad, but unless
q d e p l a n n i n g t o settle
lil
Y
c]Z , I
d o w n to s o m e serious Z
Y
w o u l d strongl advise g i v i n g this a miss.
Just s e t t l e d o w n w i t h t h e g o o d - o l d - f a s h X
i o n e d Kama Sutra, a n d tr t o w o r k o u t
Ylm
w h i c h bit g o e s w h e r e o n
r own.
Ylm
lrsalm`fY
Well...not o n
r own,
.
h u g e 3 0 % o f t h e no 0 p a g e s is o n t h e s u b ject o f c o n t r a c e p t i o n , STDs,
Will
impotence
(male a n d female), a n d other
'Serious
tuvw9 f r o m C o r g i B o o k s
Y ` f‰ Š i fY `
Y
e as the e a c h attempt
[
] ]
n h i s sixth p u b l i s h e d o f f e r i n g , D o u -
sivel
glas C o u p l a n d s e e m s t o h a v e c o m e
to r e c o n c i l e their pasts, a l l o w i n g Coup-
i n t o h i s o w n . Girlfriend
in a
Coma
land to explore t h e t h e m e o f the b o o k -
acclaimed
t h e s e a r c h f o r t r u t h . W h e t h e r o r n o t sci-
w o r k , n o t f o r its u s e o f b r a n d h u m o u r or
Y
b e c a u s e it fits n i c e l i n t o a c u r r e n t s o c i z{z|} ~€{
ological trend
xy
X and
Y
Microserfs),
b u t s i m p l b e c a u s e it is a
ence students need to be convinced of
g o o d piece of writing. Chronicling the
ter titles p l a
h a s p r o v e d h i s m o s t criticall
Y
the v a l u e o f q u e s t i o n i n g instead o f
‹
blindl a c c e p t i n g r e m a i n s t o b e s e e n , but
f i l l e d  ‚ƒ s o f h i g h s c h o o l t o t h e u n c e r Y
taint a n d regret o f m i d d l e a g e , t h e b o o k
still a r e m i n d e r is n o t a b a d t h i n g . C h a p Y
g
a v e r l a r g e rol e in d e v e l ` l Y
o p i n g the moral of the \ d , progressing
Œ
f r o m ' A l l i d e a s a r e t r u e ' t o 'Reject e v e r
Y
i d e a ' , ' P r o g r e s s is o v e r ' a n d finall 'The
is a b e a u t i f u l e x a m p l e o f t h e m o d e r n
Y
Y
- the urban Z \_.
rar
lives o f six f r i e n d s f r o m t h e i r last d r u g -
allegor
T h e first s e n t e n c e ,
End' with c o m m e n t s about c o n t e m p o Y
Y
societ a n d c o n s u m e r i s m .
'I'm J a r e d a n d
Following the reunion o f the friends
I'm a g h o s t . ' , a n d t h e first c h a p t e r title,
a n d t h e a w a k e n i n g o f K a r e n ( t h e girl-
'All Ideas a r e t r u e ' , set t h e t o n e f o r t h e
X
rest o f t h e b o o k . N a r r a t e d at first b t h e
X
d e a d Jared a n d then b others, w e s e c
f r i e n d ) , C o u p l a n d m o v e s o n t o his v i s i o n
the final carefree ‚ƒ s o f t h e characters
most chilling e n d of the world scenario
Y
Y`aba`
\s or e p i d e m i o l o (an
nuclear ^_
of the e n d o f the w o r l d , a l l o w i n g further
development
o f t h e plot. It is n o t t h e
in h i g h s c h o o l , full o f p r o m i s e a n d h u bris.
Y
R i c h a r d l o s e s his virginit o n a ski s l o p e
Y
w i t h his s t r a n g e l distant g i r l f r i e n d a n d
a n i n t e r e s t i n g twist.
w i t h i n t h e h o u r s h e is in a c o m a w h e r e
` Y
s h e \] s f o r „…† ‡9  ‚ ƒ s a n d 83 p a g e s .
m u l t i - l e v e l l e d r e a d , t o w h i c h this r e v i e w
D u r i n g this t i m e Ri ch ar d a n d t h e rest
X
o f t h e g a n g h a v e t h e c h a n c e to l o s e a n
e x i s t i n g d i r e c t i o n in their lives. After m o v ˆ
Y
Y
i n g a w a t o s e e m i n g l better t h i n g s , t h e
gists c a r e t o c o m m e n t ? ) b u t it d o e s h a v e
All i n a l l , a r e a l l
Y
interesting a n d
d o e s n ' t d o j u s t i c e , b u t n o t o n e that h a s
X
c a u s e d a l o n g t e r m a l t e r a t i o n in m p e r Y
s p e c t i v e , a l t h o u g h it reall h a s t h e p o t e n tial. I'll j u s t h a v e t o r e a d it a g a i n .
all gravitate b a c k t o their o l d street in Van' c o u v e r , n o w as b u r n e d o u t , u n c e r t a i n
Russell
middle-aged adults.
The characters worr
Y
and obses-
tvw9 f r o m F l a m i n g o P u b l i s h i n g
m
8
8
Reviews
e
g
:
L
ife Is Beautiful
shot
is a m a g n i f i c e n t l
a n d ver

humane
Ž
has o p e n e d a b o o k s h o p , a n d the
Ž
child.
Italian
Ž
have
a smart lovel

film.
It is v e r
charming a n d
Ž

but also painful a n d ver
mov
ing. Co-written a n d d i r e c t e d b that
Ž
master, o f ‘ ’ “ ” • , Roberto Benigni,
T h e r e m a i n i n g part o f t h e f i l m will,
™ œ
Ž
, make º »u feel uncomfort› ±°›
funn
able.
It i s a b o u t
the experience o f
father, s o n ,a n d , o n t h e other side o f
t h e f i l m stars h i m a l o n g w i t h h i s real-
t h e c a m p , m o t h e r ( w h o d e m a n d s to
life
wife
Nicoletta
Braschi.
–—˜™—š— ™œŽ
ž
‘›
, it w o n t h e G r a n d J u r
§
Ÿ ¡¢
e at last £ ¤ ¥ ¦ s C a n n e s f i l m f e s t i v a l
Ž
and recentl
g o t seven foreign film
Ž
starts
Oscar n o m i n a t i o n s . T h e stor
¨
j u s t b e f o r e W o r l d W a r II i n Racist Ital
j o i n . t h e m even t h o u g h she's not a
Jew)
in a c o n c e n t r a t i o n c a m p r u n
Ž
m a i n l bº G e r m a n s . T h e r e c a n n o t p o s ™Žœ —™
¼
sibl b e ›
¹ g to excuse the concept
of a c o n c e n t r a t i o n c a m p , but Benigni
a n d e n d s at t h e w a r ' s e n d . D u r i n g t h i s
Žª«— «
period, across Europe, Jews, ©
” ,
for t h e s a k e o f his child k e e p s his s e n s e
™

Ž
of humour. B focusing o n the ’± g
½ Ž ¾ «œ Ž
’ s
’ ° , t h e f i l m is i n t h e e n d a n
and
optimistic o n e - but watch out for t h e
handicapped
and
people
were
first
a n dthen
persecuted
later d e t a i n e d
—®¯ —«
¬›­
›‘ t 'master
killed u n d e r
moving end!
Ž
B all m e a n s
race' theories.
T h e first p a r t o f t h e f i l m is a l o v e
Ž
’° . R o b e r t o B e n i g n i a r r i v e s f r o m t h e
™œ Ž«—
‘’± °
• e t o w o r k a s a w a i t e r In a lav
ish r e s t a u r a n t o w n e d b h i s u n c l e , i n
«œ
the h o p e
o p e n i n g a b o o k s h o p . In s c e n e
after
Charlie
Chaplin works, w e learn o f this m a n ' s
a p p r o a c h t o life; sharp,
humourous,
and charming. Through a series o f
this
l e a r n a b o u t t h e e s s e n c e o f life,- m a n ' s
™¿ Ž
™
q u e s t f o r p e a c e , ” ’ “ ” t a n d , ultiœ Ž
“› ” , survival. This film s h o u l d m a k e
Ž
’u think about t h e unacceptable
³´µ¶ ·¸
²
o f realising his dream o f
scene, reminiscent o f great
g o and watch
f i l m , n o t t o l e a r n w h a t Schindler's
List
Ž
has alread
told º »u before, but t o
serendipitous events h e manages to
™
Ž
rich ’ ± g N i c o l e t t a Braschi
seduce
f o r t h c o m i n g d i s c o m f o r t a r e felt w h e n
(who
Benigni's uncle gets his h o r s e p a i n t e d
Ž
w i t h racist s l o g a n s . It is o n l t h e n t h a t
d o e s n ' t like m u c h ) . T h e first s i g n s o f t h e
w e k n o w it, t h e c o u p l e a r e m a r r i e d , h e
is e n g a g e d t o a n o t h e r m a n , a
—
Ž
part o f t h e Facist ¹ ” ° › ° ‘ ¹ , w h o s h e w e k n o w t h a t B e n i g n i is a J e w . B e f o r e
f o r m s o f h a t r e d a n d p e r s e c u t i o n that
Ž
Ž
e x i s t t o d a in m a n p a r t s o f t h e w o r l d ,
Ž
and hopefull move º »u to d o somet h i n g a b o u t it.
Ahmed
e
g
:
S
lush
À
Sleepless
You've
this
film
ma
in Seattle
Cot Mail

™ ™Ž
w i t h ( o f c o u r s e ) n o I d e a that their › ’ ™
Ž
m o u s l o v e is t h e i r b i t t e r e s t ” ” “ .
Ž
T h e p l o t is e x t r e m e l s i m p l e a n d
Ž
t h e d i a l o g u e f l o w s s o realisticall that
Ž
Ž
’ u b e l i e v e Á à n a n d H a n k s c o u l d reall
be but
it is
not.
is a n up-to-date
r e w o r k i n g o f t h e 1 9 4 0 c l a s s i c The Shop

Around
The Corner
b Ernst L u b i t s c h .
This t i m e a r o u n d , h o w e v e r , r a t h e r t h a n
™ ™Ž
“ ’ ± s p e n pals, o u r t w o
being › ’
central characters
be destined for each other. These two
Ž
p o s s e s s a k i n d o f m a g i c rarel
seen
a r e falling in love
b e t w e e n t w o p e o p l e i n r e a l life, n e v e r -
over t h e Internet.
Meg
runs
ÁÂ Ã n is K a t h l e e n
a children's
Around
Kell
bookstore,
The Corner'
Ž
m i n d o n t h e b i g screen, a n d director
who
E p h r o n ( w h o a l s o d i r e c t e d Sleepless)
'Shop
is
c a r e f u l n o t t o i n t e r f e r e . It's s o o b v i o u s
Ž
Ž
the
paired these t w o together
wh
in N e w York.
A l t h o u g h butter w o u l d n ' t melt in h e r
m o u t h , s h e is h a v i n g a n o n - l i n e a f f a i r
™Ž
ª«
w i t h ¬ Ä Å Æ2 u n d e r t h e
m of
”±•’
Ž
S h o p g i r l . This is n o s e e d o r s o r d i d affair
again.
Ò ™œ Ž
̔ ±› , h o w e v e r , this b e c o m e s
Ž
t h e f i l m ' s d o w n f a l l - t h e last t w e n t m i n Ž
utes a r e painstakingl b o r i n g asº »u
-just a s i m p l e , i n n o c e n t c o n v e r s a t i o n o f
w a i t t o s e e t h e i n e v i t a b l e . T h e f i l m is
life, l o v e a n d d r e a m s c a r r i e d o u t a c r o s s
l o n g e n o u g h w i t h o u t this extra p a d d i n g .
their e m a i l .
O f c o u r s e , ¬ Ä Å Æ2 is H a n k s
Y o u k n o w w h a t is g o i n g t o h a p p e n s o
(step-
p i n g into t h e s h o e s o f J a m e s Stewart,
ª Ž
who
› ” d t h e character in t h e origiŽ
nal), a m e m b e r o f t h e f a m i l t h a t h a s
just o p e n e d a h u g e d e p a r t m e n t b o o k È É ÊË
store almost o n Ç
s d o o r s t e p . Busi-
IDeep
n e s s b e g i n s t o d i m i n i s h in h e r s m a l l
s h o p a n d s o s h e starts to d e s p i s e H a n k s
Žœ —™
a n d ” Ì ” ° ¹ g h e s t a n d s for. M o r e o v e r ,
s he also takes pleasure in telling h i m
what s h e thinks of him ever
meet.
t h i s m a k e s t h e f i l m a little p r e d i c t a b l e .
Í
Ž
time the
Ž
That s a i d , h o w e v e r , t h e l o o s e e n d s e v e n Ž
tuall tie t o give º » u o n e o f t h e best
However, w h e n the
a r e n o t r o m a n c e s t o hit t h e b i g s c r e e n in q u i t e
Ž
Ž
«
l o g o n a n d wait for t h o s e
a f e w ”›° .
ÍÎÏÐÑ
three magic words e g o t mail Helen
working the
m
8
9
Reviews & Competition
d
e
g
g
:
T
his is c e r t a i n l
Ó
n
not a c o n v e n t i o n a l
western. T h e setting
is f a m i l i a r
e n o u g h Ôa t w o h o r s e t o w n i n t e r -
rupting featureless prairie a n d r e e k i n g
of t h e desolation w h i c h p e r m e a t e s t h e
genre.
However,
t h e traditional
male
h e r o e s w h o s e t u r b u l e n t d i s p l a c e d lives
Ó
generall provide t h e subject o f such
films a r e r e l e g a t e d t o t h e b a c k g r o u n d .
Instead, t a k i n g c e n t r e s t a g e a r e s o m e
of the western's most u n d e r d e v e l o p e d
ch aracters . T h e w o m e n
w h o work as
prostitutes in t h e s a l o o n s a n d b r o t h e l s
are r e l e a s e d f r o m t h e i r u s u a l r o l e s o f
Westerns.
c o w e r i n g in t h e c o r n e r w h i l e a t a c i t u r n
wanderer dispatches a barful o f drunk-
c o w p o k e s t o B o o t Hill, a n d a r e a n d that o f M o t t r a m , a n o l d e r w o m a n
Ó
Ó
w h o f e a r s that h e r w o r k i n g life m a s o o n
a l l o w e d t o tell t h e i r o w n ÕÖ×Ø .
Ó
be over, contrast with those o f t h e
A n eclectic cast ÙÚÛ s a g r o u p o f
Ó
× Ü Ý Þ ß r girls. T h e h a r d s h i p w h i c h h a s driw o m e n w h o have the d u b i o u s privilege
en
of w o r k i n g for B r e n d a fricker's m a d a m .
v e n Irish i m m i g r a n t ( G a l l a g h e r ) a n d G e r -
N o matter h o w t o u g h life in t h e b r o t h e l
m a n d a n c e r (Becker) into prostitution
lurks b e h i n d t h e w a r m t h o f t h e i r f r a g i l e
Ó
friendship, w h i l e the ×ÜÝÞß ÕÖ , Jakub,
e x i s t e n c e in t h e o u t s i d e w o r l d w o u l d b e
Ó
Ó
entertains ambitious h o p e s o f ßàÙÚ× m o r e d i f f i c u l t f o r e a c h o f t h e m . Kell
Ó
M c G i l l i s ( o f Top Gun f a m e ) t u r n s i n a n m e n t in a cit b o r d e l l o .
gets, w e a r e r e m i n d e d that a r o o t l e s s
assured p e r f o r m a n c e as t h e stoical Net-
British d i r e c t o r J o n S a n d e r s h a s a
Ó
making,
tie, w o r k i n g t o s u p p o r t h e r s o n a n d a l c o -
background in documentar
holic h u s b a n d . H e r c i r c u m s p e c t a t t i t u d e ,
and, from the graphic depiction o f the
w o m e n ' s w o r k d o w n t o their w h i t e p o w der make up, h e s e e m s to have spared
n o effort in a c h i e v i n g t h e a u t h e n t i c
T h e rela-
New
tionships b e t w e e n the w o m e n are well
Ó
presented, but
c o n c e i v e d a n d neatl
Shameless
a p p e a r a n c e o f Painted
Angels.
t h e r e is n o t m u c h d e v e l o p m e n t o f e a c h
character as t h e film p r o g r e s s e s . This
á
Ó
u n u s u a l Ù ×ØÖ ØÛ Û l o f a brutal w a o f life
is a d m i r a b l e , but t h e m e l a n c h o l i c m o n o t Ó
o n e o f t h e f i l m m a k e s f o r fairl u n i n volving viewing,
Q
Simon
C
Lion
ri t i c s m a
á
necessaril
movie
Ó
argue
that
the best
it's n o t
animated
m a d e , b u t The
Ó
the most suc-
ever
King is u n d e n i a b l
cessful - with U K b o x office sales o f
23.1 m i l l i o n , v i d e o s a l e s o f 3. m i l l i o n , a n d s o u n d t r a c k s a l e s o f o v e r Vi
million. N o w com e s
t h e release o f
t h e ( s t r a i g h t t o v i d e o ) s e q u e l - Lion
Win tickets and
s galore with the
King
If
Simba's
Pride
-
and, of
c o u r s e , a n e w s o u n d t r a c k : The Lion
King
Collection.
Ihis s u p e r b s o u n d track
brings
t o g e t h e r t h e best f r o m t h e original
m o v i e , i n c l u d i n g t h e h i t s Can You
the Love
Tonight
and Circle
feel
á
of Life b
Llton J o h n , a n d a w h o l e range o f n e w
s o n g s f e a t u r i n g artists s u c h as Tina
Tuner a n d Lebo M .
Ó
The stor o f t h e Lion King contin-
KENSINGTON
u e s w i t h t h e r e l e a s e o f Simba's
Pride
w h i c h plots t h e a d v e n t u r e s o f S i m b a
a n d Nala's daughter K i a r a a n d a m e m -
It's S p r i n g c l e a n i n g w e e k h e r e i n t h e
Felix
film department,
s o there's
a
Ó
Ó
If × u k n o w , t h e n e m a i l × Ü r a n s w e r s t o
ç
fllm.felix@lc.ac.uk before W e d n e s d a
plethora o f tickets a n d m e r c h a n d i s e o n
Ó
offer. W e ' v e got g i m m i c k stuff g a l o r e
Ó
You've
- f a n c Meet Joe Black p a j a m a s ,
e v e n i n g . T h e first f i v e n a m e s o u t o f t h e
Ó
Ó
virtual hat will w i n a à ÕÖ ß Ø ÙØãèßéÕê .
Got Mail C D ' s , A Bugs Life h a t s o r Phan-
T h e w i n n e r s o f last w e e k ' s You've
tom Menace
Mail
p o s t e r s ? O r t i c k e t s t o a varÓ
Ó
i e d ( a n d , Û â à ã Ö Ö ß â Ú , fairl o b s c u r e ) s e t
Ó
ä
o f films? O r T-shirts f r o m practicall e v e r
ëìíîïða
f i l m r e l e a s e d i n t h e last s i x m o n t h s ?
á
Ó
friends (and ×ÜØÕ)
to d o is a n s w e r t h e f o l l o w i n g q u e s t i o n :
t
Waterworld
man
Kasim Rehman
Marie Nicholaou
Well, thanks t o m
at t h e O d e o n K e n s i n g t o n , p l u s s o m e
å
s u r p r i s i n g l k i n d PR p e o p l e , t h e w h o l e
Ó
áæ
lot is × Ü Ø s f o r t h e w i n n i n g . All
u have
Got
competition, were:
Stephen Whittaker
David Saunders
The
Ó
Ó
together o n t h e long-forgotten romantic
Ó
Please
c o m e d Joe Versus the Volcano.
d r o p i n t o t h e Felix o f f i c e ( i n t h e Beit
ö ÷ø ùú ö û
Ó
) to pick u p ×Ü r üýþÿ .
meanwhile
t e b o M provides the African sounds
Ó
a l o n g w i t h Ûâ Õ àã Ö h Black Û à Û è × ,
á
Ó
Lattimore
a n R&B d u c t s u n g b K e n n
Ó
and Heather ßÛâÚ , a n d a rousing
r e n d i t i o n o f We Arc One p e r f o r m e d
Ó
b W o r l d Beat artist A n g e l i q u e Kidjo.
I h c h a u n t i n g b u t e x c e l l e n t first e n d
title o f t h e m o v i e H e Lives
á
p e r f o r m e d b Tina Turner.
( a l o n g w i t h a b o u t ñò0 o t h e r s ) c o r -
i d e n t i f i e d that You've Got Mail stars
ôõ
M e g ó n a n d T o m H a n k s first w o r k e d
rectl
ber o f Scar's pride Kovu;
the soundtrack e n d e a v o u r s t o take
Ó
× u into the world o fSimba a n d C o .
in You is
T h i s is a g r e a t s o u n d t r a c k w h i c h
áæ
u i n t o t h e w o r l d o f The
transports
Lion
Lion
King
.
a n d b r i n g s o u t t h e kid in
Ó
f a n s , The
A m u s t for all D i s n e
King
Collection
is o u t o n E d e l
records o n M a r c h 8th.
Gurmindcr
8 March 1999
e
"T^v^
2 0
Have
Shine
d o this it m u s t tr a n d u p t h e p r o p o r t i o n
,
l
o f f e m a l e p u n t e r s w h o g o a l o n g - it w a s
=
just t o o p a c k e d full o f b l o k e s . N o w I
k n o w that I d i d n ' t h e l p b n o t t a k i n g a n
One
of London's
newest
house
n i g h t s this s o u t h o f t h e river j a u n t o n l
b e g a n t w o w e e k s a g o , a n d quite frankl
it s h o w s . D e s p i t e t h e p r o m i s e s o f glitter
cannons, balloon drops, a n d t h e most
h n i g h t that t h e c a p i t a l h a s s e e n in
a w h i l e , S h i n e just d o e s n ' t d e l i v e r . But it
is n o t a c o m p l e t e d i s a s t e r a r e a e i t h e r . It
is m e r e l a f l e d g l i n g n i g h t g to learn
to fl in a cit full o f b i g .
u n o t i c e is t h e
T h e first t h i n g that
g i r l f r i e n d s a l o n g this t i m e , b u t it's n o t all
m j o b , n o w is it?
The m u s i c also n e e d s to get a seri
ou s injection of m e l o d and
. The
t e m p o m a h a v e b e e n just a b o u t right
but t h e tracks d b t h e majorit of
t h e DJs w e r e just p l a i n b o r i n g . I s e r i o u s l
can't r e m e m b e r a single tune, a n d n o n e
of t h e m even c a m e close to giving m e
that u s u a l r u s h that
u get w h e n
u
reall e n j o a track. D e s p i t e t h e c al i br e o f
the talent o n s h o w , s u c h as Ro t h e
u
r m o v e s . A l t h e s a m e t i m e , if
* )
r talents,
f e e l m o r e like h i d i n g a w a
off
)
or g e t t i n g u p to n o g o o d , t h e n t h e r e a r e
p l e n t o f little out-of-thc w a s e c t i o n s t o
e x p l o r e . It m a b e c o n f u s i n g t o g e t
a r o u n d this place w h e n
u are n o t think
i n g t o o + , b u t it's w o r t h t h e e x p e ,
d i t i o n - e v e r part o f it is g r e a t . Just w i s h
t h e n i g h t h a d b e e n as g o o d a s t h e c l u b .
- look out for m review
of the legendar Escape f r o m Samsara
-. /0123
s at T h e Fridge) in t h e next i s s u e
Still, n o t t o w o r r
of Clubsccne.
R o a c h a n d DJ D i m i t r i f r o m Paris, t h e sets
A s f o r S h i n e , d o n ' t just t a k e m w o r d
for it - it isn't all that b a d . A n d it w i l l
get better as the m a n a g e to carve o u t
a n identit for t h e m s e l v e s , just g i v e t h e m
a p p e a r s t o b e a bit o f a h a n g o v e r f r o m
this d past i n c a r n a t i o n . I
certainl d o n ' t h a v e g against ga
w e r e just m i n d l e s s , a m o r p h o u s b l o b s o f
!
depressingl
tedious music. A n d the
Shin
n i g h t s or i n d e e d a g a i n s t t h e r e b e i n g a
to look
m i x e d c r o w d at S h i n e . I n d e e d , s o m e o f
was g o i n g through the motions, wishing
the w e r e s o m e w h e r e else.
(
e this wasn't t h e case, ' c o s
But )
if
u a r e g o i n g t o g o t o a n c l u b in L o n -
c l i e n t e l e in t h e c l u b . S h i n e r e p l a c e d t h e
ga
night Love M u s c l e , a n d there
the
best
nights around are mixed,
because
u f e e l a s if
u c a n relax
m o r e in t h e g goes atmospheres.
g
H o w e v e r , t h a t ' s n o t w h a t S h i n e is g to be a g l a m h o u s e night
to d o . It is which appeals to, a n d I quote
"more
e x p e r i m e n t a l o f t h e capital's c l u b b e r s . " T o
)
techno to c o m e out of the Truelove
Cheaper
)
Thanks to
r l o v e l f r i e n d s h e r e at
Clubsccne,
u c a n n o w get into t h e
s p l e n d i d > h n i g h t ( r e v i e w e d right
here
t w i c e ! ) at M a s s , in B r i x t o n , f o r
@
just ? . T h e i r n e x t j a u n t is o n M a r c h 13th
a n d stars t h e h u g e J u s t in R o b e r t s o n a n d
t h e f u n k Farle J a c k m a s t e r Funk. T o g e t
)
r s p e c i a l c o n c e s s i o n just t a k e a l o n g
a c o p o f Felix ( a n d t h e n t h r o w it in t h e
A
b i n s o as n o t t o a p p e a r v e r s a d i n d e e d ) ,
or s i m p l m e n t i o n Felix B e at t h e
)
r student card. What
door and s h o w
A
c o u l d b e easier? Well not ver m u c h , s o
g o a n d d o it.
a little m o r e t i m e t o live u p t o their n a m e .
Just Dull?
b
d o n , t h e n m a k e it T h e f r i d g e . This is a
b
h u g e , a s is t h e s t a g e a r e a at t h e back, s o
of space to g o a n d s h o w
t h e r e is p l e n t
Heaven's Children
Phats a n d Small
s
'Bam Bam'
g
(TEC)
"Turn A r o u n d "
QR
)
A n i c e laid-back n u m b e r f r o m t h e
Incognito people. O n c e
u g e t past
t h e fact that t h e a r e s i n g i n g o n e o f t h e
silliest (but at t h e s a m e t i m e original) c h o -
Another t h u m p i n g piece o f sottish
for
s t u n n i n g v e n u e . T h e m a i n d a n c e f l o o r Is
Singles
'
Night
c r o w d k n e w it t o o d e s p i t e their a t t e m p t s
. Y o u just s e n s e d " # " $% & ' e
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ruses e v e r t o hit c l u b l a n d t h e n this r e c o r d
)
. A s o u l f u l , upliftgrow on
i n g t r a c k t h a t w o u l d sit' w e l l in a n
c a n reall
A catch
t u n c in all its g u i s e s o n this
12". This is w h a t I like a b o u t r e c o r d s like
)
)
)
this He getting
r Hs worth
H l h e l p
and u b u i l d u p that e c l e c ,IJKL
O
tic r e c o r d c o l l e c t i o n that
e M N MP s
d r e a m t of. T h e o f f s p r i n g o f a c o u p l e o f
T h i s is g o i n g t o b e o n e h e l l o f a
t u n e . P r o d u c e d b a c o u p l e o f likel lads
S
from Brighton (and
s the are mates o f
F a t b o Slim), this t u n e is o n e o f t h o s e
)
++ , , d a n c e t u n e s
H l e i t h e r
l o v e o r h a t e b u t w i l l still e n d u p d a n c i n g
)
)
H e n o t d a n c i n g t o it
H l
Label C o l l e c t i v e c a m p , t h i s t r a c k is a n
)
r
interesting piece of C
l to get
h a n d s o n . That's ' c o s u n l i k e m a n o t h e r
g a r a g e / s o f t h o u s e set, this track, ( a n d all
t h e m i x e s in t h e d o u b l e C
l pack) b r i m s
12" t h e r e is a great contras t b e t w e e n t h e
u get. T h e O r i g i n a l M i x
is m o r e c o n v e n t i o n a l w i t h a user-friendl
)D
, a n d a couple o f nice break-
full o f slick p r o d u c t i o n . A l t h o u g h ( q u i t e
F D + ) it's t h e M a s t e r s at W o r k M a i n
M i x that is b e i n g p l u g g e d , tr o u t t h e
M a w M i x o n t h e B-side. It's less G B B a n d
at H e a v e n " m i x - a g o o d i d e a o f w h a t it's
D like at t h e l e g e n d a r v e n u e t h e s e ,
ting t h e b l e s s i n g o f t h e Radio 1 jocks).
w h i l s t t h e D.A.V.E. t h e D r u m m e r r e m i x is
O u t this m o n t h
d o w n s . B u t it's t h e T r a s h C o m p a c t o r
Remix w h i c h reall d o e s t h e b u s i n e s s . It's
a dark a n d funk piece, w h i c h m a n a g e s
c u t s straight t o t h e p o i n t . A l s o took o u t
a bit t o u g h e r a n d , o f c o u r s e , m o r e d r u m -
for s o m e u s e f u l b o n u s beat s a n d acapel
las f o r all
u a s p i r i n g chilled-out DJs o u t
o u t t h e O r i g i n a l M i x f o r a m o r e well-
to w o r k w e l l d e s p i t e b e i n g q u i t e a b a r e
there.
t w o m i x e s that
track.
t
t h e (ex?) r e s i d e n t DJs f r o m H e a v e n , this
to - a n d if
track w o u l d cut it o n t h e d a n c e f l o o r in
a n o f its t h r e e i n c a r n a t i o n s T h e A-side
g i v e s us a m a d a n d fruit "Saturda N i g h t
s t o r m o n t h e n a t i o n ' s d a n c e f l o o r s , it
b e s i n g i n g a l o n g t o it. C a u s i n g a h u g e
c o m e s w i t h a f e w m i x e s , t h e best b e i n g
the O r i g i n a l 12". G r e a t d a n c e m u s i c (get-
b a s e d . But, a s is o f t e n t h e c a s e , c h e c k
r o u n d e d p e r f o r m a n c e - this o n e ' s a n i c e
hard houser.
•
• • •
O u t M a r c h 29th
s
E
•
• • •
e
8
Albums
Sasha's o w n 'Belfunk'.
The album has
b e e n c o m p i l e d behind ih e decks before
1
p e o p l e w h o like all k i n d s o f m u s i c - a
superb collection o f tunes.
N i k o M a r k s & Cit
w
a TY
'Cit B o k x d o _ '
T
stu v
Bok q r
s
r e f i n i n g w o r k in t h e s t u d i o t o c r e a t e
a d d i t i o n a l e f f e c t s . This is a g r e a t a l b u m ,
T\
u like t h e d e e p m u s i c o f D i g a n d if
T\
w e e d a n d Sasha
cf d b e a fool not to
T
b u it.
m
a
n
'
John Digweed a n d Sasha are the
this is o n e h e l l o f a n a l b u m - a lot o f
T
T
a n d great t u n e s , t h e o n l p r o b l e m
variet
Astral P r o j e c t i o n
is t h e a l b u m is n o t l o n g e n o u g h ! !
'Another World'
is a C D w h i c h j o i n s t o g e t h e r h o u s e , s o u l ,
(Transient)
d i s c o , R&B, g o s p e l , y z { { a n d e l e c t r o n l c a
grooves
M o r c e a n Worker
This is t h e sixth a l b u m f r o m t h e finest
T
Israeli t r a n c e act e v e r ( p e r s o n a l l I k n o w
' M i x e d E m o t i o n a l F e a t u r e s LP'
o f n o o t h e r Israeli t r a n c e act s b u t w h o ' s
•
• • • •
This
to f o r m a c o l l a g e o f w i g g e d - o u t , f u n k
most celebrated m e m b e r s o f their profession, b e i n g both innovative a n d enterT
T
t a i n i n g . T h e h a v e t h e abilit t o c r e a t e a
• • • •
c o u n t i n g ? ) . A nine-track a l b u m , ' A n o t h e r
great a t m o s p h e r e u s i n g b r e a t h t a k i n g
T
have
t u n e s , a n d in r e c e n t U V W X s t h e
Y Z[ \ T Y
d h u g e success with t h e superb
( M o r c e a n Worker) has t o b e o n e o f t h e
Northern Exposure series ( a n d b e f o r e
best D & B a l b u m s thai has ever
T
This a l b u m , p r o d u c e d b A d a m D o r n
a n d Afro-American
musical
f u s i o n . T h e a l b u m h a s 1S t r a c k s a n d
T
t a k e s k l u o n a j o u r n e t h r o u g h all t h e
TaY
p r e v i o u s m e n t i o n e d _`
s whilst featur-
W o r l d ' is t r a n c e m u s i c at its best - s o
T
m u c h s o that,DJs s u c h as D a n n
Ram-
i n g t h e v o c a l t a l e n t s a n d brilliant y z { {
Detroit,
piano
of Niko Marks. C o m i n g from
T\
u w o u l d h a v e e x p e c t e d it t o b e
T
m o r e t e c h n o - s o u n d i n g t h a n it actuall is,
that t h e i n c r e d i b l e R e n a i s s a n c e projects).
c r e a t e d . It's s o g o o d that h a d it not b e e n
p l i n g h a v e g i v e n t h e tracks g l o w i n g
m
r e p o r t s . T h e m u s i c is v e r m u c h like that
The collaboration b e t w e e n the t w o m a s -
f o r S a s h a a n d D i g w e e d , this w o u l d h a v e
released o n the Perfecto
l a b e l - fast
but t h e a l b u m s h o w s h o w f u s i n g d i f f e r -
ters c o n t i n u e s w i t h t h e n e w N o r t h e r n
been album of the week. 'Mixed Emo-
Exposure a l b u m entitled 'Expeditions.'
T
This is a n a l b u m w h i c h is s i m p l brilliant.
that u s e s m a n
e n t s o u n d s t o g e t h e r c a n m a k e a great
T
sounding album simpl because of the
T
variet o n offer.
D i g w e e d a n d S a s h a h a v e W ]^ W U s s e e n
t i o n a l f e a t u r e s LP is a t e n track a l b u m
T
TgY
different `
s o f music,
T
w h i c h are t h e n expertl f u s e d with D&B.
b e a t s , h a r d bas s l i n e s , lots o f p i a n o s /
T
T
_ `ns a n d , o f c o u r s e , plent o f breakT
d o w n s . A n d b e c a u s e it's g o o d qualit fast
T h e best t h i n g a b o u t t h e a l b u m is that
t r a n c e it's g r e a t t o d a n c e t o . Astral ProZpY
g T
_ `od
,
O u t at t h e e n d o f M a r c h
t h e m s e l v e s a s d i f f e r e n t t o all t h e o t h e r
j e c t i o n , t h e true o r i g i n a t o r s o f
been
1
DJs, a n d t h i s a l b u m t a k e s t h e m b a c k t o
Ta
e that h e l p e d t h e m
ae T
m a k e their n a m e s - g o o d bcd ` , d e e p
t h e r e a r e n o M C s at all, s o t h e r e ' s n o irri-
w ill s o o n b e t o u r i n g in L o n d o n t o h e l p
t h e f o r m i d a b l e _`
tating vocals. T h e tracks feature m u s i c
p r o m o t e t h e a l b u m a n d if k l u w a n t
s u c h as h o u s e , funk, h ijj, progressive
m o r e info, t h e n p o p into t h e Felix o f f i c e .
p r o g r e s s i v e h o u s e m u s i c . T h e t r a c k list-
a n d s o m e g o o d o l d " n o r m a l " D&B; e a c h
T
T
tune slowl builds up, starting gentl
O u t In M a r c h
before hitting k lu with D&B sounds
T
fade into the calm
• • • •
ing uses t h e full s p e c t r u m o f o l d a n d n e w
spiritual p r o g r e s s i v e m u s i c , a c r o s s t w o
C D s . Tracks i n c l u d e D i g w e e d ' s r e m i x o f
T
Dann
T e n a g l i a ' s 'Turn M e O n ' a n d
*•••
|
'
A"
Gurm
w h i c h then graduall
f i n a l e . This is a n a l b u m that is m e a n t for
h a d t h e w o r s t h a i r c u t in t h e w o r l d , b u t
Gus Gus @ ULU
e~ T
d , J o e l a n d I ( a n d m k flat
T
mate w h o randoml turned up) braved
Last }o
t h e p i s s i n g rain t o g o a n d s e e I c e l a n d ' s
finest ( b u t m o s t u n d e r - r a t e d ) b a n d G u s
o f s of t s o n g s s a w t h e c r o w d
T
g e n t l a s t h e lig h ts d i m m e d .
_d
TeZ
g
Tosser o f the night had to g o l o the
b l o k e d a n c i n g in f r o n t o f p o o r o l d J o e l .
Having onl
T
grabbed a f e w hours sleep
T
in t h e last thirt h o u r s o r s o , J o e l ( w h o
T
T
c o u l d b a r e l sta a w a k e ) s p e n t t h e g i g
T
dancing behind a bloke w h o not onl
w h o a l s o t o o k g r e a t p l e a s u r e in s h o v i n g
†
t h e ‚ ƒ „ … … m a s s i n t o J o e l ' s f a c e - until J o e l
T
kicked u p a fuss, w h e n h e promptl tied
u p h i s hair u s i n g h i s g i r l f r i e n d ' s b o b b l e .
Still, lhat d i d n ' t s t o p u s f r o m s h o v i n g h i m
p‡p T eˆ
o `
in t h e b a c k
e h e s t e p p e d backwards.
Back o n stage, a n d G u s G u s w e r e
aT ep
o s over the t h u m p -
G u s at U L U . H a v i n g n e v e r b e e n t o U L U
screaming out the
b e f o r e I w a s s u r p r i s e d at h o w s m a l l t h e
v e n u e was, but within a n hour the place
ing bass lines, a n d w h e n o n e o f t h e
T
€ c s s t a r t e d s i n g i n g in a M a u r i c e G i b b
w a s p a c k e d a n d I w a s g l a d I h a d left m k
v o i c e w e s t a r t e d w o n d e r i n g If t h i s w a s a
c r u t c h e s at h o m e (after last w e e k ' s f a r c e
T
at Turnmills t h e r e w a s n o w a I w a s b r i n g -
tribute to t h e B e e G e e s . T h e s h o w culminated w h e n the lead singer asked " D o
T\
u w a n n a hear techno?" to t h e c r o w d .
T
N a t u r a l l w e s h o u t e d that w e w o u l d a n d
T
Gus Gus promptl blared out a fabulous
ing t h e m ) , f o r t h e first h o u r a n d a half w e
were treated to a warm-up jock w h o
ga TY
d d great h o u s e m u s i c - b o t h proT
gressive a n d h a r d , but I felt a bit sorr f o r
t e c h n o track w i t h h a r d bas s l i n e s a n d
him as no-one s e e m e d to notice h i m .
T
Graduall the clock a p p r o a c h e d 9:30pm
m i n i m a l vocals b e f o r e l a u n c h i n g into
‡Y
a ~T
All
d
_nd
f , their latest s i n g l e .
a n d t h e a t m o s p h e r e built u p in a n t i c i T
pation o f G u s Gus. A n d t h e n the c a m e

o n s t a g e t o a s t a n d i n g o v a t i o n ( o k a I'll
throughout the gig, weird images and
messages w e r e projected onto a screen
T
b e h i n d t h e stage a d d i n g to a n alread
admit there w e r e n ' t a n k seats), a n d
T
T
i m m e d i a t e l G u s G u s (six € c s a n d a
electric a t m o s p h e r e .
girl) t o o k u s t h r o u g h a trip o f great m u s i c .
T
It's h a r d t o d e f i n e t h e m u s i c t h e
pro-
ished - G u s G u s c a m e o n for a n e n c o r e
duce
since
it e n c o m p a s s e s
A n h o u r a n d h a l f later it s a d l
until t h e l e a d s i n g e r c a m e o u t a n d s a i d
T
" N o € c _ , it's f i n i s h e d . . . . c h e e r s " . This
was treated to a great mix o f t u n e s .
T
w a s a g r e a t g i g a n d Felix h a s t o t h a n k
Justin at 4 A D r e c o r d s for l e t t i n g u s c o m e
recent stuff
a n d review a f a b u l o u s night.
but t h e r e w e r e a f e w classics d r o p p e d in
there, i n c l u d i n g t h e f a b u l o u s
fin-
a n d t h e n left t h e c r o w d t o m u l l a b o u t
techno,
d a n c e , i n d i e , h o u s e - all sorts, t h e c r o w d
The tunes w e r e mostl
T
'Believe'
which went d o w n a storm. The atmosga TeZ
d
phere was intense and Gus Gus,
g
TY
their first U K g i g f o r o v e r a
do, j o i n e d
t h e c r o w d , in j u m p i n g u p a n d d o w n , a n d
T
m a d l w a v i n g t h e i r h a n d s in t h e air d u r i n g t h e h a r d e r tracks , w h i l s t t h e c o u p l e
Gus G u s - Scandinavian an d Strange, n o w there's a surprise!
m
8
c
2
singles
T
‰
Š
.:'
Š
‹.
:
W
‹:
Schorod
little
hitc
the
q l o r d S i n g s t h e B l u e s is
n e w album
House
of
'

'
:
.
1
Œ I Ž :
:
ifj I O C
:
’ “l
V ‘
' '
.
Painer,
Erik
q a.k.a. Everlast. H e rs q s ' I ' m a
older
a n d the music
m a t u r e ' , a n d that
'
f r o m ex-
is m o r e
h e has moved o n
u l t i m a t e in m a k i n g rap m o r e palatable for
the guitar o b s e s s e d w o r l d o f t h e US
mainstream?
This n e w s o u n d s w i n g s
Busta ˆu
and
g o n e t o Everlast's
q t o his w o r d , t h e a l b u m
q
starts w i t h a h i l a r i o u s 8 0 s rtuvvw xyz q
}~ is Back.
b o a r d r{ w e track - The White |
w o r l d is m i n e t o d a
It all g e t s a lot m o r e s e r i o u s after that,
a n d this t h e m e is r e p e a t e d t h r o u g h o u t .
contrar
H e ' s m o v e d a lot o f a c o u s t i c g u i t a r
n
a n d actual s i n g i n g into this a l b u m - rather
Wee E.P.
.'-:>.'. iX:.l OVi'.f i i i O •
Ž Ž –Ž
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ial
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q s t e r e o . Everlast reall q d o e s h a v e
q… t s
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earnestness.
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¨
Whitechocolatc-
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as h e r confessional a n d
a collection o f diatribes about d o m e s -
prise, Phair just g o t h i t c h e d a n d n o w
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q with the o d d
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ticit a n d the m a r r i e d state. S u r p r i s e , sur-
rioosed
Li ™
spaceegg
and the melodies o n the album, though
Whitechocolatespaceegg
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/
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r i n g a n d a c o u p l e o f 'I d o ' s ' d o e s t o
– —˜ , cancel mq subscription to Dateline.
(Love
manence
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Son), m a r i t a l
the beaut
Is Nothing)
male-female
q o f per-
a n d post
relationships
c n r o u t e . If t h i s is w h a t a
rather œ
into
other
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World, ¤¥
genres
q
Headache)
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fail-
i n g t o c o m p e n s a t e . If v u d o n ' t like it,
g i v e it t o
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i n g s o m e t h i n g that t h o s e o f v u w i t h t w o
X c h r o m o s o m e s w o u l d f i n d to love a b o u t
this a l b u m , but to m
q ears "whltechoco-
l a t e s p a c e e g g " is just that: a n a e m i c , s u g ar
q a n d with n o t h i n g substantial inside.
ra
Matt
8
c
3
Singles
S
K
e
a
Horrocks' mimicrÖ of t h e M o n r o e
s o u n d a n d ÜêÖÔ e is e x t r e m e l Ö realistic
a n d at t i m e s , a t o u c h u n c a n n Ö
pouting her w a
Ø t h r o u g h / Wanna
Be
ëì You. H o w e v e r , w h e n c o m -
Loved
T
respected
numerous
ginit
all i m p o r t a n t
s p e e d , c o k e , ×àÜêÕÜÖ ,
not s o u n d t o o ou t o f place. T o m Jones
c u t t l e f i s h , a n d t o t o p il all o f f h e h a d a
is t h e t o k e n m a l e artist f e a t u r e d w i t h It's
non-too-pleasant
cheesÖ
which although
T h e p u r p o s e o f a s o u n d t r a c k is to
c o m p l i m e n t t h e film, but d u e to t h e
popstar
knowledge
of
experience
in
Ò
Dadrock. H e describes himself as B o b
e
g
f a b u l o u s ) , is t h e stor Ö o f a Ö Ù Ú Û g girl
a l o n e a s a c o l l e c t i o n o f s o m e reall Ö g o o d
Beck than the bland offerings of the
w h o , in o v e r c o m i n g h e r Ü Ý Ö Û × Ü Ü , h a s
m u s i c . H o w e v e r , a s w i t h all f i l m s w h e n
W e l l e r s o f this w o r l d . That isn't t o sa
learnt t o i m i t a t e v a r i o u s artists f r o m h e r
m u s i c f r o m t h e s o u n d t r a c k is f e a t u r e d ,
t h e r e a r e n o e c h o e s o f Ö×Üê×âÖ×Õâ ; Sap-
it t e n d s t o b e in s n i p p e t s a n d / o r p u s h e d
phire a n d ö÷
ver
d e l i c a c Ö o f N i c k D r a k e a n d All
record collection. T h e film follows her
Þß
Ü à Ù á × âÖ ,
rise
exploitation.
and
The film
consequent
features
well
Ø legendarÖ actresses
ã Garland,
a n d sin g ers s u c h as Jud
ä ß
Õ â Ô Ö n M o n r o e a n d S h i r l e Ö åæ ççèé ,
Ø
alongside those sung b Horrocks as
known songs b
back-
í m u c h t o t h e b a c k g r o u n d -1 h o p e
that this f i l m d o e s t h e m u s i c j u s t i c e . In
Lisa Overdrive
is m o r e a k i n t o
s
Ò
m
Change
is A l e x C h i l t o n w i l h t a b l a .
Loss o f t h e s e l f a n d o f o t h e r s e l v e s
í good indeed.
,
Ò
n
øùú
ûüì h a v e t h e p o i g n a n t
are c o m m o n t h e m e s but t h e m e s s a g e
but nevertheless ver
m This
l
d e n t î ï , m o r e that o f a n o l d e r relative-
!
is p o s i t i v e . It's b e e n a r o c k Ö ride b u t
Katherine
El
.
t
e
Is Normal
Ø
c o n c l u s i o n , it's n o t Ö Ù Ú r a v e r a g e s t u -
Ø
,
ô
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of the instrumental
$3
.
but fear n o t this is n o t a n e x e r c i s e in
g r o u n d bits, w h i c h a r e t h e u s u a l s o u n d -
known
exclusion
shave-,
T r a s h m o n k in h i s Iate30's/earl Ö 4 0 ' s ,
t r a c k f o d d e r , this s o u n d t r a c k a l s o s t a n d s
(best
as B u b b l e s
Jane
.
Ø m Ø r e c k o n i n g all this p u t s
for her
Horrocks
role
b
jm
a
in A b s o l u t e l Ö
Voice,
,
e
kctamine and
ÖÔÕ n w i t h s a m p l e r s or Elliot S m i t h p r o Ø
d u c e d b t h e Beastie õ Ù Ö Ü . A n d i n d e e d
ittle
s
M i d d l e Last p r i s o n .
Thus, b
Supastar
s
ð at 14 t o a 27 ñòó r o l d m o d e l at
t h e s i m i l a r i t i e s m e a n that h e r s o n g s d o
Unusual,
Ghetto
from
artists; h e h a d a n
t h e d e p t h a n d p o w e r of th e others, but
i n f e r i o r o n a s o u n d t r a c k o f this c a l i b r e .
Ø
A collaborator with
t
Ò
r a s h m o n k is N i c k Laird-Clowes.
J o h n L e n n o n ' s h o u s e ; a n d h e h a s that
s
ÓÔÕÖ×d
s
affair w i t h Kell Ö Le B r o c k ; lost his vir-
a n d class Ö in its o w n right, d o e s s o u n d
Ò
s
• • •
p a r e d t o t h e real t h i n g , h e r v o i c e lacks
Not
L
while
•
tittle V o i c e .
w o r t h it n o n e t h e l e s s w h e n t h e d e s t i -
;
Chris
n a t i o n s o u n d s t h i s g o o d . El
.
e
s
t
s
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a
of
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eating
C a r a m e l , it's a n a u r a l r e p r e s e n t a t i o n o f
h o w G u i n n e s s s h o u l d b e p o u r e d , it's a
Radox
bath
melodious,
for t h e brain. GloriouslÖ
crisp a n d a s s u r e d
finger-
p i c k e d guitar, s h i m m e r i n g p i a n o a n d
m o r e different kinds o f percussion a n d
ß
beautifullÖ
har-
Patronise
seems a stupid thing to
Ø
, b u t if
Ø ÿu
like this k i n d o f s t u f f t h e n Ö Ù Ú â e g o i n g
to l o v e t h i s k i n d o f stuff.
L-ureka Is n o t
a n acoustic guitarist's à Ù Ó Ö Ù Ù k -
a n d a ÔÕ Ö ,
Þ
ß ß â×ÕÖ,
ê ×â× ÕÛÖ Ùâ× -
laid-back-it'd-fall-over o n e at that - it's a
collection
o f aural
sound collage
watercolours,
a
of Chicago, the West
Coast, C u b a a n d t h e C a r i b b e a n
that
c o u l d n ' t h u r r Ö if it t r i e d . L i s t e n i n g t o J i m
O ' R o u r k e ' s latest r e l e a s e is t h e m u s i c a l
l
but I g u e s s it's a n a c t o f d e s p e r a t i o n .
Our Sponsors
ü
On The ì Down
a n d t h e l'm-so-
a n d Something
Movie
Big,
w h i l s t t h e J a m a i c a n s in t h e a u d i e n c e
will brea k into a b r o a d grin o n h e a r i n g
the
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The
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s
t
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t
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b e a b l e t o live w i t h t h e guilt o f c o r r u p t -
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n't h a v e b u t that m a k e s
Ø
Ø ÿu couldn't give a
that f r a n k l Ö m d e a r
wouldn't suggest
damn.
utable music store such as H M V or
Matt
:
Wire
is w o r s e . For à â Ö Û g o u t l o u d , a n ac ap -
w o u l d h a v e t o lie. I w o u l d h a v e l o v e d t o
El
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that t h e a l b u m is n o t all that b a d , b u t I
s i p s Just like that t h i r d glass o f R e m
11
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his i n c o h e r e n t talk. T h e m u s i c , a l s o , h a s
relaxed-l-could-just-shit h o r n s o n
It
d
s i n g i n g is t o o g o o d a w o r d t o d e s c r i b e
nast Ö t h r a s h m e t a l , l o o k a w a
ear f o r t h e m o r e r e f i n e d , r e a d o n .
Ò
q u e s t i o n t h e m e r i t s o f this c o l l e c t i o n ,
Latin â Ý Ö ê Ý s w i l l n o d in a p p r o v a l at t h e
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s
e
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f Ö Ù Ú r i d e a o f h e a v e n is l o u d a n d
Ø ÿu have an
from
Y o u have to
with the pleasure of reacquainting one-
s u b t l e p e r c u s s i o n a n d brass o n
If, o n t h e o t h e r h a n d
material
Chumbawamba.
# In
÷
Ø
Three Acts, w h e r e t h e g u is s i n g i n g
ß
s o m e c r a p ÔÖâ àÜ . N o , I t a k e that b a c k ,
Þ
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of old single a n d
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m o n i s e d v o c a l s that s p a r i n g l Ö g r a c e t h e
m
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d i v a : ;< ?
made
m e f e e l like I've b e e n t a l k i n g to h e r for
& '()*
. W i t h a n e w r e m i x o f ' M a d e it
M i l e n : W h e n ' P r o d i g a l Sista' w a s first
Back' b l o w i n g u p all o v e r a g a i n a n d h e r
r e l e a s e d it g o t g r e a t r e v i e w s , s o w h
&=
a l b u m g e t t i n g a re-release I w o n d e r e d
are
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firml
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on the ground. Probabl
&
some-
thing to d o w i t h her u p b r i n g i n g , she
&=
u r e - r e l e a s i n g it? W e r e
Beverle
&
&
&
u
w i t h it first t i m e r o u n d ?
K n i g h t : N o , n o t at all, t h e first
t i m e t h e a l b u m w a s h o w I w a n t it, it
was m
& a l b u m , its c o n t e n t s w e r e p e r -
was a gospel singer a n d had never
fect.
s u n g o u t s i d e o f c h u r c h until s h e left
M : That's m
h o m e for c o l l e g e . O n c e s h e s t a r t e d
p e o p l e w h o b o u g h t it, it w a s p e r -
s i n g i n g in c l u b s , as t h e s u p p o r t f o r o t h -
fect
ers, t h e r e w a s n o l o o k i n g b a c k , s h e
BK : T h e a l b u m s o l d w e l l , it s o l d to p e o -
was spotted s o o n a n d didn't look back.
ple w h o bu
& p o i n t , to us a n d to n u f f
so wh
&
t h e re-release?
& R&B a n d b a s i c a l l & w h a t w e
w a n t t o d o w i t h t h e re-release is t o
Beverle
& first b l e w u p w a & b a c k in 199
,
m a k e m o r e p e o p l e m o r e a w a r e o f Bev-
&
&
w h e n s h e r e l e a s e d a r e c o r d that h a s
erle
g o n e o n to b e c o m e o n e o f the hottest
m e into the m i n d s o f the public o f
British R&B t u n e s o f all t i m e ' f l a v o u r o f
large.
t h e O l d S c h o o l ' . It w a s m a s s i v e in t h e
M : So w h a t is t h e n e w a l b u m g o n n a
clubs a n d w a s quickl
& f o l l o w e d b& h e r
K n i g h t , u s e It as a w a
of getting
h a v e o n it that t h e o l d o n e didn't?
& t h e s a m e , t h e n e w set
d e b u t a l b u m 'The B-Funk , t h i s e a r n e d
BK : Its b a s i c a l l
p r a i s e f r o m all q u a r t e r s , b u t e s p e c i a l l
has a f e w rem ixe s a n d re-workings o n
1
f r o m t h e R&B h e a d s . B e v e r l e
&
&
Knight
had arrived a n d w a s g e t t i n g r e c o g n i -
know
radio a n d get a large share of the mar-
but w h
&
t i o n as t h e best British s o u l p r o s p e c t
ket, w h i l e m a i n t a i n i n g m
for
M : T h e n e w ' M a d e It Back' r e m i x ,
&'()*
, f o l l o w u p singles ' D o w n for
the One' and the
.wicked 'Movin'
O n Up O n The
Right S i d e ' d i d
&
her w a t o d o m i -
n a t i n g t h e R&B
charts, but s h e
didn't! B e v e r l e
w a n t e d out, things d r a g g e d out, but
&
that s o m e o n e
the
Devil's Pie
:>
. . >>.
&
o n c e f i n i s h e d I l o o k e d at r e c o r d c o m p a n i e s t o s i g n for a n d e v e n t u a l l
& take.
&
& = u split w i t h D o m e ?
M : Wh did
the
K : I or l e g a l r e a s o n s I can't g o i n t o t o
d e t a i l s , but t h e
do, and came
where m
&
& had one opinion of
career s h o u l d be a l an d I
h a d a totall
&
d i f f e r e n t o p i n i o n . It w a s
all a b o u t t h e d i r e c t i o n o f m
I sent a tape to the
and D o m e weren't o n the same wave-
record c o m p a n
&
and
l e n g t h as m e .
M : What did Ihe
'
& ' () s
a n d for t w o
& sound
. u p w i t h this mix, h e
&
just d i s a p p e a r e d
&
s i g n e d f o r EMI. T h i n g s t a k e as l o n g a s
I w i t h t h e o r i g i n a l , like
best R&B artist
man's d e s k , h e
K : Well, Ihe
p l a u t l loi m e a n d
3/?
h I l i k e d it. T h e
& d e c i d e d it w o u l d b e g o o d
D
D
w e r e l o o k i n g to m a k e a
p a r e n t s w a n t e d m e to s i n g
g o s p e l , but there c a m e a point w h e r e I
h a d to d e c i d e w h i c h w a
& I wanted to
go and I decided u p o n the big wide
w o r l d o f R&B.
M :Were
&=E r parents disappointed?
&
&
K : O f course the
n't s t o p m e , t h e
&
w e r e , but t h e
supported m
&
& d i d & = u c h o o s e EMI?
wider audience, and from there w e
a n d EMI w e r e t h e m o s t attractiv e f o r
d e c i d e d o n t h e re-release o f t h e w h o l e
m e . I k n o w the
Sista', B e v w a s b a c k a n d b a c k e x a c t l
album.
b e i n g an indie label, but the
M :Wh
s i o n a n d let m e g e t o n w i t h it.
At t h e e n d o f t h e d a
&
& B e v e r l & K n i g h t is
&
i n d e p e n d e n t lad
w h o has
(F G (&
s m o v e d in a d i r e c t i o n that s h e
(FG(&
artists, t h e
&
& h a v e a b i l o f a r e p for
&
&
s
l o v e d . ' P r o d i g a l Sista' is re-released in
K : I l o o k e d h a r d a l all t h e c o m p a n i e s
artist d r i v e n l a b e l . T h e
did-
deci-
b e e n o n e that t h e rest o f us h a v e
lead s i n g l e o f her s e c o n d set ' P r o d i g a l
s
u g o into
n't w h a t I w a n t e d .
t h e s t u p e n d o u s ' M a d e It Back' as t h e
&' ( )
&=u
w a n t s t o g o i n , a n d that h a s
compan
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sort o f m a n u f a c t u r e d s o u n d that w a s -
i d e a to r e l e a s e t h e s i n g l e a n d g o for a
M : W h a t h a p p e n e d in t h o s e
&
&
massive a m o u n t s o f talent. She has
n o t h i n g w a s h e a r d f r o m h er , until t h e
w h e r e s h e left of.
: M
a class
want?
s u m m e r o f 1998 w h e n s h e r e l e a s e d
&
M : Its w e l l k n o w n that as a kid
f r o m ? T h e r e ' s this
DJ m e s s e d a b o u t
and was well o n e
& o w n music and m&
career.
sang gospel, wh
B K S o m e t h i n g like
M u s i c A w a r d for
&
control over m
that?
that, b u t not q u i t e . A
p r e s t i g i o u s Blac k
,
contract with D o m e Records a n d I
h e a r d it a n d l i k e d it.
she w o n the
=AB(C&
s u c h l o n g gap?
that t o o k s o l o n g , I w a s s i g n e d t o a
&=u
w h i t e label,
r e s p e c t for h er . In
u changed record @
: W e l l , it w a s c h a n g i n g c o m p a n
d i d it, p r e s s e d it to
increase the
-
sound.
&
w h e r e d i d that c o m e
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199
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It a n d is m o r e o f a v e h i c l e to get o n t o
are a n
A p r i l a n d t h e r e m i x o f ' M a d e it Back' is
o u t o n M a r c h 22. This girl d e s e r v e s
huge success and hopefull
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s h e will
g e t it.
h a v e real
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Milen
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s
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r
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W h e n this d r o p p e d o n t h e d e s k a
W h e n this d r o p p e d o n t h e d e s k
vu
sudden sense o f deja vu echoed
echoed through the office. Did-
t h r o u g h t h e o f f i c e . Didn't this g et
n't this g e t r e v i e w e d last m o n t h
reviewed
o n t h e HI JKL MJMNOP ? Yes it is t h e
HIJKLMJMNOP ?
a
sudden
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sense
last
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s a m e title, t h e s a m e set o f w e i r d
Wait a m i n u t e didn't I just g et
tables, t h e s a m e large n u m b e r o f
a sense of deja vu a minute ago.
different MKQRs o f g a m e s c a n b e
D e j a v u o f d e j a v u - n o w that's
QIJK Rd a n d all u s i n g t h e l o n g
o d d . ]P K^ JK Premier
stick t o k n o c k t h e r o u n d t h i n g s
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into t h e p o c k e t s . (A c h e a t h e r e is
Manager
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t o p o f t h e l e a g u e a n d as m u c h sil-
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v e r w a r e as t h e c u p b o a r d c a n h o l d - or if K O u a r e f e e l i n g p e r v e r s e t a k i n g K O _ r h a t e d
n e n t c h e a t e d in t h i s u n d e r h a n d m a n n e r e v e r
p r e m i e r t e a m d o w n t o t h e third d i v i s i o n b e f o r e b e i n g s a c k e d .
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t i m e ) . S o it is t h e s a m e g a m e , b u t
W i t h the m e m o r K a n d disk s p a c e o f t h e PC K O u w o u l d e x p e c t s o m e i m p r o v e m e n t
not n e c e s s a r i l K Q I J K R d in t h e s a m e T UV .
W
Firstl t h e g r a p h i c s . P C s w i t h 3-D a c c e l e r a t i o n c a r d s w o u l d b e e x p e c t e d t o h a v e
o v e r t h e HIJKLMJMNO n v e r s i o n . The QI JKR` s actuall K c o m e w i t h m i n i p h o t o s s o V a u c a n
better g r a p h i c s , a n d t h e K d o . T h e s h a d i n g o f t h e t a b l e s is m u c h m o r e d e t a i l e d t h a n
scare c h i l d r e n o f f bV Q I JK N P g t h e g a m e u s i n g t h e i m a g e s o f T o n K A d a m s a n d Paul M c r -
t h e PSX. T h e t r a n s p a r e n t t e c h n o t a b l e l o o k s s u p e r b . T h e c o n t r o l m e t h o d is a l s o dif-
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K O _ M h p r o g r a m m e s a n d s c o u t s for t h e K O _ M h t e a m s . I h e third i m p r o v e m e n t h a s g o t
c o n t r o l m e t h o d u s i n g t h e s w i n g o f t h e m o u s e to actuallK c o n t r o l t h e f o r c e o f the
to b e t h e abilt K to u s e t h e m o u s e a n d b R K c O J ` d . Rather t h a n e K e I N P g t h r o u g h m i l l i o n s
s t r o k e . It d o e s t a k e a bit o f t i m e to
o f d i f f e r e n t s c r e e n s t o g e l to t h e
p r a c t i c e it, b u t w i t h i n a c o u p l e o f
screen V au want V au can u s e the
minutes gentle close shots don't
m o u s e to g e t t h ere .
e n d u p w i t h t h e c u e ball in t h e
A n o t h e r i m p r o v e m e n t over t h e
pocket. The control m e t h o d w a s
PSX v e r s i o n (this is s p o o k i l K like P C
t h e b a n e o f t h e HIJKLMJMN O n v e r s i o n
PoohShark), b u t it is e n o u g h . It is
a n d w i t h a s i m p l e bit o f t w e a k i n g
the
it QIJK s a lot m o r e like a g a m e o f
g a m e currentl K o u t , b u t l o o k o u t
p o o l . I inall K I c a n r e c o m m e n d it -
because championship
ver
is a b o u t t o c o m e into QIJK .
X
g o o d w o r k fellas.
Z[\
Y
S.
best
football
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Y
Z[\
n
s
W a n n a s h o o t s o m e p o o l ? T h a n k s t o G r e m l i n t h e r e is a c o p K o f P o o F S h a r k t o p a s s
F o o t b a l l m a d , F o o t b a l l e`JmK , h a v e p r o b l e m s w a i t i n g until n e x t no pq r ot ? G r e m l i n
o n to t h e first p e r s o n p i c k e d o u t o f t h e hat w h o a n s w e r s t h e f o l l o w q u e s t i o n :
h a s g i v e n a c o p K o f P r e m i e r M a n a g e r 99 to us to g i v e l o t h e l u c k K s t u d e n t w h o is
first o u t o f t h e h a t w i t h t h e a n s w e t t o t h e f o l l o w i n g q u e s t i o n :
W h i c h British c l u b t e a m w a s t h e first t o w i n t h e E u r o p e a n
h
S e n d K O _ r a n s w e r s i n t o Felix m a r k e d ' P o o l HOMMK ' bV e m a i l
or in p a p e r
and
w h a t uvw x?
S e n d K O_ r a n s w e r s into I clix m a r k e d ' B i g g e r balls ( t h a n p o o l ) ' bV e m a i l fellx@lc.ac
or in p a p e r f o r m b e f o r e n o o n this f g h ig j h k l . I'll a n n o u n c e t h e w i n n e r next w e e k .
f o r m b e f o r e n o o n t h i s f g h ig j h k l . I'll a n n o u n c e t h e w i n n e r n e x t w e e k .
s
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Free ISP for
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Championship
Manager rides
h a v e started r e l e a s i n g detail s o f
Free ISP's (Internet Service Providers) a r e
their next g e n e r a t i o n t i m e w a s t i n g d e v i c e
f l o o d i n g t h e m a r k e t . First w a s Freeserve,
( o t h e r w i s e k n o w n a s g a m e s m a c h i n e ) . It
t h e n V i r g i n . N o w E i d o s a n d }~€  t h a v e
has fairl K Impressive stats - g e t t i n g n e a r
g o t i n t o b e d t o a n n o u n c e a n e w f r e e ISP
t h e theoretical m a x i m u m n u m b e r o f QOIK -
service that is a i m e d at t h e internet g a m e r .
So, S o n
g o n s d N L Q I JK J cI e o n a c o n v e n t i o n a l IV,
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again
T a k e a q u i c k p e e k at t h e p h o t o
q u i e t l K o n I e b 23, il
o n the right a n d V a u will realise
supports b o t h V.90 a n d ISDN c o n n e c -
t h a t I h c all n e w C h a m p i o n s h i p
t h e J a p a n e s e , t h e U S m a r k e t g e t s first
tions: T h e ISDN c o n n e c t i o n for b o t h s i n -
Manager
pick - e x p e c t a realistic U K l a u n c h s o m e -
g l e a n d d u a l c h a n n e l . Y o u g et t h e u s u a l
t h o u s a n d s o f p e o p l e all o v e r t h e c o u n -
has
t i m e in A u t u m n 2000.
b u n d l e o f m u l t i p l e m a i l a d d r e s s e s , 20
r e v i e w il p r o p e r l K - in t h e m e a n
we
M a n a g e r 3 c o m p e t i t i o n next w e e k .
a n d a l a u n c h d a t e this w i n t e r . K n o w i n g
L a u n c h e d ver
3 is g o i n g t o a n n o K
M e g o f personal W W W space, a n d access
M`K . C h a m p i o n s h i p M a n a g e r 2 w a s t h e
ƒ
S a n d T o s h i b a c l a i m is
to n e w s . T o s u b s c r i b e V a u c a n either f i n d
Premier
more powerful than the current Pentium
t h e s o f t w a r e o n a n V o f t h e latest Eidos
going to have s o m e serious c o m p e t i -
III. {O Q R |_ I I K , if t h e g a m e s a r e a s g o o d
games,
t i o n o n their h a n d s this s e a s o n .
as t h e r e l e a s e d s c r e e n s h o t s w e m i g h t
w w w . e i d o s . c o . u k a n d s i g n u p dN`ReMIK . So
just b e a b l e t o p u t u p w i t h it b e i n g c a l l e d
n o w , w e c a n all r u n o u r o w n Lara sites.
At its heart it h a s t h e e m o t i o n e n g i n e
- a c h i p that S o n
s o m e t h i n g like t h e e m o t i o n m a c h i n e .
or
go
to
the
WWW
site
run a w a
w i n n e r last t i m e r o u n d a n d
Manager
9 9 o n t h e P C is
A l l t h i s s a i d , w e h a v e n o t V „t s e e n
the final v e r s i o n - a n d w e h a v e a g a g gle o f r e v i e w e r s all f i g h t i n g o v e r w h o
the footballing experience
to
time
will be r u n n i n g a C h a m p i o n s h i p
So
g e l KO_r
football
RPeKeIOQR-
d i a s o u t b e c a u s e if V a u l i k e f o o t b a l l ,
KO u are b o u n d to love C h a m p i o n s h i p
M a n a g e r 3.
Z[\
Y
S.
t
8
S
U C L IV..
IC IV
..3
that t h e t a b l e s w o u l d t u r n in t h e s e c o n d
" R o n a l d o - l i ke " t u r n a l l o w e d Chris t o back-
s e c o n d h a l f , s c o r e d b… t h e i r
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4 g o a l s in 2 g a m e s f o r t h e
a l l o w e d b… t h e r e f e r e e , ( m e ! ) w h o h a d a
ˆ
to A i d a n
w h o again
captain
from
g o o d g a m e o v e r a l l . B… this s t a g e , M a t h s
(IV's a n d V ' s ) a n d w e ' v e n o t lost … † .
Ž  e gets
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a half" s a w t h e r e m o v a l o f Richard ‘ ’“ ”” "
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w a s n ' t g o i n g t o b e a n… d i f f e r e n t .
at h a l f t i m e , in e x c h a n g e for S i m o n ‘ ž Ÿ ” "
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frustration w a s c o n f o u n d e d w h e n "the
fourth t e a m polic of Š‹Œ‹ 
W e ' v e m e t U C L four l i m e s this s e a s o n
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Toda
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Although Hurricane Horace w a s b l o w i n g
Newton
us like a t e n d o l l a r h o o k e r , w e d e f e n d e d
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i n t o t h e first h a l f .
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t a k e n b… t h e m c a u g h t us o f f g u a r d a n d
M i c h a e l O w e n o f ™º ¸“ »¸ Å " J i m m
the
his hat-trick t o m a k e it 4-0. M a t h s finall
ˆ
s n a t c h e d o n e ba c k , b u t C h r i s retal-
iated f r o m a 40
ˆ–›d free kick w h i c h
netted
m a n a g e d t o g e t t h e ball past
ˆ
Greek-
s e e m e d t o b e all w e w e r e d o i n g a n d
™
ˆ
s c r e a m e d past t h e k e e p e r . T h e K l i n s m a n
Ç ¶± ³ È É
w h e n R i c k i "Jack D u c k w o r t h "
a n d w a s f u n d a m e n t a l in t u r n i n g t h i n g s
ˆ—
ˆ
¸¹ e c e l e b r a t i o n c a p p e d o f f a qualit d a …
g a m e in g o a l , w h e n c r e a t i v e m i d f i e l d e r
around.
for t h e f o u r t h s .
W i n g c o n v e r t e d a c h a n c e s e t u p b… ICU
finall
‰
Gibson
k n o c k e d t h e ball i n t o their half,
A l d e n "Jorrel" B a n k s p o u n c e d o n it a n d
perfectl
ˆ
chipped the keeper.
M… Dad
" W i s h a r t h a d t h e fire in h i s bell
The s e c o n d goal c a m e w h e n
r e a d a ball w e l l a n d c a l m l
Turning a ”
would've been proud.
After s u c h a o n s l a u g h t w e d i d w e l l
to g o in at h a l f t i m e one-nil u p , b u t k n e w
¬­
t h e c a p t a i n Elliot " G r e a t ©ª « "
ˆ
Newton
first t e a m
I w r i t e t h e s e ? ) h e laid o f f a n i n c h p e r f e c t
ˆ
™º ¸“»¸¼ .
pass t o Chris.
Maths...
Good
control a n d a
the captain o f t h e M a t h s t e a m , D i n o .
At t h e f i n a l w h i s t l e , w i t h m o s t ”
ˆ
™º ¸“»“¸¹ s
once
demon-
s t rat e d t h e i r s u p e riorit
½
over
Mathematicians
ˆ
¾¿3 v i c t o r in t h e
Melvin
Lewis
If a n … s t u d e n t s a r e i n t e r e s t e d e m a i l m e
al melvin.lewis@ic.ac.uk
3
Tournament.
M e c h Eng
3
match,
b i l l e d b… s o m e a s
At a r o u n d 2 p. m . o n Ò Ó Ô ÕÓ Ö Ô × Ø , t h e
"the match o f t h e
Management
with
School's team ”
—–ˆ
›
š d its
¨—ˆ
first m a t c h a g a i n s t M e c h E n g , a Ù “ š ·
,
o v e r a m o n t h after t h e t h o u g h t o f f o r m -
lots o f g o a l - m o u t h
i n g a t e a m w a s first c o n c e i v e d .
action a n d a feast
e i g h t e e n f o o t b a l l e r s b r a v e d t h e rain t o
of goals.
However,
the m a t c h
almost
didn't take
due
to
place
the
lat e
In a l l ,
ˆ
pla for t h e t e a m , m a d e w o r s e b… t h e fact
that w e w e r e all in t r a i n e r s .
ÚÛÜÜÝ
A l t h o u g h M a n a g e m e n t b e g a n skill, M e c h Engtook advantage of M a n -
arrival o f t h e M a t h s
a g e m e n t ' s occasional o p e n d e f e n c e to
team,
s c o r e t w o g o a l s in t h e first half. T h e s e c -
which
ˆ
o f over 30 m i n u t e s .
When
match
the
finall
œ ¨ ›À–ˆ
· š
,
ˆ got
o n d half s a w M a n a g e m e n t e q u a l i s e w i t h
two excellent goals from Robbi Malandrenlotis a n d o n e from M i k e , a M e c h Eng
member ”
—–ˆ
“ · g f o r us. T h e r e w e r e a l s o
both
s o m e brilliant s a v e s , g o a l a t t e m p t s a n d
teams
started off
tackles, not t o m e n t i o n s o m e interesting
ˆ
and took a
s l i d e s in t h e m u d d u r i n g t h e m a t c h a n d
slowl
w h i l e to get into
ˆ
™º ¸ “ » s
the g a m e .
o p e n e d the scoring
midwa
ˆ
e i t h e r t e a m l o o k e d like t h e
several instances.
š ·Þ
through
t h e first half w i t h a
well-worked
move
ˆ
which w a s cooll
finished
off
"Man
b…
˜ˆ–ß—
If
ˆ˜
ˆ
c o u l d w i n at
O v e r a l l , it w a s a n
e match
u a r e i n t e r e s t e d in ”
v.basak@ic.ac.uk
for
–
—–ˆ
“ ·à . E-mail
Management,
˜ ßˆá – œ
¼» ¸
“»¼ »¼ k for M e c h Eng a n d
˜¨ á – œk for other e n g i n e e r i n g
¸¼º
“» “»¼ »¼
departments.
the
Vaskor
Ä
Basak
M a t c h " Á ÂÃÃ , w h o
m a d e it 2-0 s h o r t l
Freefone 0800 731 7316 or
contact the Sports Centre
direct on 0171-594-8964
ˆ
Management
r e s u l t e d in a d e l a
h
e v e n after an
Interdepartmental
disappoint,
d
their victor
under-par p e r f o r m a n c e , a n d c a n onl
first p h a s e o f t h e IC
20th & 21st March
Imperial College^,''
Sports Centre
deserved
get better.
ˆ –›
š " d i d n o t fail t o
*W
—–ˆ-
—–ˆ ›
š s unsporters e x h a u s t e d , M a t h s ”
Ê
ingl
didn't shake the hands of the
Ë ÌÍÎÏÐÏÎÑÎ
ˆ
ˆ
! O v e r a l l , ™º ¸ “» s t h o r o u g h l
ˆ
with an emphatic
The
M
Shubeur
t h e n a d d e d a fifth f o r ™º ¸“»¸ , w h i c h w a s
f o l l o w e d b… t w o late c o n s o l a t i o n g o a l s b…
again
Come join
the fun!
member, Warren.
ˆ
L
i n t e r c e p t e d it.
—–ˆ r w i t h e a s e (can
š
… ® u tell
t Marios, w h o had an outstanding
before
ˆ
halftime
s
with a n o t h e r welltaken goal.
The
much
path
.
second
half f o l l o w e d prett
the
ˆ
same
.
a s t h e first,
ˆ
w i t h ™º ¸“ » s d o m i nating
for
long
ˆ
™º ¸“»s
periods.
n o t c h e d u p a third
g o a l earl
ˆ
in t h e
f
8
t
7
t
R
,
C
c a m e back strong against Warwick with
â
E
o u r ãä å s s o r t e d o u t ; M o a n d Ket d r i v i n g
â
t h e I m p e r i a l o f f e n s i v e like a f i n e - t u n e d
The overseas societies basketball tour-
h o u r o f 10:30 a m , w i t h us a g a i n s t B i r m -
Ferrari w i t h N a r i s s a a n d L i s a n n e p u t t i n g
n a m e n t w a s held o n the 27th ò çå
a p p e a r e d to h a v e p i c k e d
u p a brick wall o f d e f e n c e . W e a c h i e v e d
The da w a s w o n b the Afro-Caribbean
t h u g s o f f t h e street at r a n d o m a n d p a i d
a s h u t o u t a n d w e r e just g e t t i n g d o w n
Societ
t h e m a Fiver e a c h t o ãäå . T h e i r g a m e
to s o m e serious offense w h e n the whis-
w h e n s o m e societies d e c i d e d not to
consisted of p u m m e l l i n g the opposition
tle w a s b l o w n .
T h e t o u r n a m e n t s t a r t e d at t h e u n g o d l
ingham. The
â
â
whenever the referee wasn't watching
â
æçèéêä , w e
ë
ì
q u i c k l learnt t o s k a t e a w a f r o m t h e
âíî
ãäå
s w h o h a d their knuckles scraping
and often w h e n he was!
on the floor.
â
T h e Imperial ãäå s w e r e m o r e m i x e d
up than a well-shaken martini, but simpl
ï
sterling g o a l t e n d i n g from Nerissa
h e l d t h e m at b a
ð
until t h e last s e c o n d s
of the g a m e w h e n the
â
C a m b r i d g e h a d to offer. D r e w score a
ñ
nift g o a l late in t h e m a t c h b u t it w a s n ' t
â
í
ò ç ä ä ó ô õ d t w o past o u r
borrowed Warwick goalie
turn u p , t h e a f t e r n o o n m a t c h e s s t art e d
þ ý â
ôô ä . There w a s s o m e
to f l o w m o r e
â
ö ÷ ø % since t h e b e g i n n i n g of t h e tourù
â
d e f e n c e a n d inspired attacks.
n a m e n t a n d s o m e ver
fine hocke
was
ð
h a d b all, w i t h s p l e n d i d d e f e n c e f r o m
îý
ýí â
T h o r a n d S p e a D F r e a K . ú û üô ç û å ä , t h e
íâ þ ý
weak é
ôûe was our borrowed Goalie,
Fair pla
â
b a s k e t b a l l m a l c h e s , tight
to t h e L e b a n e s e a n d å ä å
c l o s e f o u r t h in t h e e n d ; n o t a
before ãäå
A-teams.
âí
â
Rugb M a t c h / R o w i n g (Boat Race)
ô
âþ
in
the
3rd
team.
For
â
î í
for a practice b e f o r e t h e
ð National Indoor student finals , that
m a k e s IC in t h e t o p 1 ÿ s t u d e n t t e a m s in
ý îâ the èôçû
, s o t h e first t e a m w e r e o u t
â
their place. A s t h e s c o r c l i n e
Q
c a s u a l t i e s , b u t n o t after s o m e
â
T h e IC j u d o c l u b a t t e n d e d a belt g r a d i n g
eas
us dinner!
(to g o u p a belt) at t h e L o n d o n J u d o
o n d h a l f K i n g s w e r e k e e n to s h o w IC
societ
h o w the
â
o n t h e 28th. Overall g o o d per-
ð
R a m a g e put t w o over the posts. Special
w a l k o v e r f o r IC. b u t c o m e t h e s e c -
â c o u l d reall â
â
ãäå . In t h e e n d
formances b the peopl e present m e a n l
the s c o r e w a s i n e v i t a b l e t h o u g h , a n o t h e r
that t h e c l u b n o w b o a s t s m o r e r a i n b o w
ass kicking b
â exist. C o n g r a t -
u l a t i o n s t o D a n u t a , Chris, N i c h o l a i d e s ,
ð
IC.
The g a m e w a s ãäå
m e n t i o n must g o to G r e g f r o m Civ Eng,
David a n d D u n c a n .
b u i l d s t r o n g links b e t w e e n IC u l t i m a t e
For m o r e info visit t h e j u d o w e b p a g e o n
t e a m a n d Kings ultimate t e a m . Another
t h e u n i o n w e b site.
victor
minutes, then ãäå
âíd a stormer.
þ î î þ
s o far in t h e s o u t h - e a s t o u t d o o r l e a g u e
G
â
w e r e a s s e m b l e d . ú û ç ã ê ê û ä , Civ. E n g .
t o o k a d v a n t a g e o f their e x p e r i e n c e a n d
â m a k i n g it 3 o u t o f 3 w i n s f o r IC
Overall, the da
ð w a s fairl â n o r m a l w i t h
ð
H
g o o d performances b the whole team
m
m
G n a t C h u m ' s h e a d s o o n p u t a s t o p t o all
d o w n i n g f r o m lain . M e c h E n g g o t o f f
â
this. W h e n t h e h a d left t h e f i e l d , t h e o i l
ð
íâ
ô û é s c l a w e d their w a b a c k to par
â
ð
: at h a l f t i m e t h e l e a d b t w o c o n -
ì
w i t h it. M e c h E n g ' s ' O r a n g e l e p r e c h a u n '
Cosb a n d 'village' Stevens w e r e vicious
g r o w l i n g b e a s t s in attack, w i t h S v e n a n d
Phil m a k i n g s o m e s t o r m i n g r u n s . F r o m
h e r e o n i n , t h o u g h , Clvil's A n d
â
d in great spiri
w h o learnt t h e rules o f t h e g a m e in t e n
as u s u a l (4th o v e r a l l in parallel r a c i n g ,
v e r s i o n s a n d l o o k e d like r u n n i n g a w a
âí
(no fouls there t h e n ) a n d h e l p e d to
o n e m a n u p after a s m o o t h f o u r s e c o n d
between
defiant
K i n g s d e f e n d i n g . T h e first h a l f w a s a n
s n a t c h e d t h e lead straight , b e i n g
â
â
a ü ê û ó ä . This g a m e w a s t h e
last c h a n c e
Stricko's teeth a n d
interpla
, a l t h o u g h this m e a n t
cial l o v e t o L i s a n n e ' s M u m f o r c o o k i n g
o n d half. T w o b o a t race t e a m s o f e i g h t
d i d in
âíî þ
s h o w s , IC d i s p o s e d o f k i n g s w i t h f e w
Massive thanks g o to Nerissa
S w i t c h t o t h e H a r l i n g t o n bar f o r t h e s e c -
â
o u r (best) ãäå
to j u s t i f
d together, ãäå êû g against
- 0, t h e b r i c k i e s w e r e k e e n t o s e t t h e
- which the
mail
david.eahl@ic.ac.uk.
â
'
þýâ í
ä . A b l i n d i n g start g a v e
tremendous
â
t h e hard hats a n earl l e a d . S o m e incisive
info
â
After last s d e b a c l e w h e n civil lost 2 record straight
o f t h e flu s o w a s s e n t t o b e d w i t h h i s
i n g it o n l
â
s u c c e s s , speciall t h e r e f e r e e ' s a n d t e a m
a n d L i s a n n e f o r d r i v i n g . A n d üêûåää , s p e -
7 ÿ - 49
Mechanical Engineering 'Spanner
except 'Worship me', w h o complained
T h a n k s t o all w h o m a d e t h e e v e n t a
c o l o u r s t h a n m u s t reall
'Brickies'
âí
ãäå r (at least
îý
ýí â
çûå ä , d u e
â
ð
to a n u n u s u a l l k e e n turn-out b IC (all
that K i n g s h a d t o f o r f e i t t h e g a m e , m a k -
captains.
L
Engineering
êån
T h e next t o u r n a m e n t s h o u l d b e f o o t b a l l
ù
â
7 n e e d e d for a t e a m ) . ô
s o c i e t i e s f o r t h e i r s p o r t i n g spirit.
ing seconds.
A ver
It w a s n o s u r p r i s e w h e n K i n g s t u r n e d u p
(late a s usual) w i t h o n l
w o m a n ) , w e could lend t h e m a f e w of
w h o let o n e s n e a k past h i m in t h e o p e n -
A f t e r a b e a u t i f u l t w o g a m e rest w e
Civil
âþ
C
.
ð
high qualit
b a d e f f o r t f o r a B t e a m that h a d n e v e r
T h e next m a t c h w a s a g a i n s t t h e best
ð
îâ
â 2 n d team. After a l o n g m o r n i n g
bridge, our t e a m had improved about
h a p p e n e d into
a fluke goal.
e n o u g h as the
The closing g a m e w a s with C a m -
í î
' B i g ' Lit-
tle a n d Brad ' T h e B u c k e t ' Baskett p u s h e d
t h e p a c e u p a f e w n o t c h e s a n d it all
c a m e t o g e t h e r in t h e last f i v e m i n u t e s .
â
Brad e n d e d w i t h six tries a n d ' B i g å ó ó '
more
þ
â
â
ä ô ä , b u t k e p t a m o r e s t e a d ratâ
i n g w h i c h a v e r a g e d slightl
higher. The
2 n d overall in i n d i v i d u a l t i m e s , 3rd p l a c e
s n o w b o a r d i n g f o r D a v e Best!).
H o w e v e r , t h e c a p t a i n w a s n o t i c e d hav-
ù
â
g a p w a s c l o s e d a n d t h e r e w a s n o clear
ing ver
w a t e r , b u t t h e m e c h a n i c s c a u g h t a crab ,
UCL club president.
s o t h e s c a f f o l d e r s c o u l d pull a w a
ì
again
ý îâ
t o ê è ô . I n c l u d i n g t h e f o o t b a l l , that
m a k e s Civil 3 - M e c h a n i c a l 0, t i m e t o pull
â
ôçr wrenches out of
â
ôçr builders'
c l e a v a g e lads !
friendl
discussions with the
The United Hospital's c u p dates from
188 a n d is t h e s e c o n d o l d e s t c u p in the
îâ þ
w o r l d . T h e c u r r e n t h o l d e r s a r e St. å
,
d e f e n d i n g under t h e guise o f ICSM.
R u m o u r s h a v e it
C o a c h e s w i l l b e laid o n f o r support-
â
that h e w a s a s k i n g for c e r t a i n s e r v i c e s .
ers in t h e h o p e that a s m a n
T h e c a p t a i n w a s later b e a t e n in t h e race,
p o s s i b l e w i l l c o m e a n d h a v e a brilliant
â
his e x c u s e b e i n g that h e w a s l a u g h i n g
da
at t h e U C L c l u b p r e s i d e n t ' s fall. A r r o g a n t
c o m p e t i n g in h o c k e
f r e n c h m a n , s e r v e s h i m right!
ð
o u t t h e d a at M o t s p u r Park.
ð
o u t as t h e r e will a l s o b e I C S M t e a m s
The da
It s e e m s that t h e spirit o f t h e d e p a r t -
â g r o w i n g into s o m e t h i n g
â
tangible... keep up the g o o d work! û m e n t s is f i n a l l
p e o p l e as
â
U L finals t h r o u g h
will b e c o m p l e t e d b
o n e f o r cricket?
d
Mon 8
Wed 10
Tues 9
RCSU Elections - v o t i n g C o m i c Relief Q u i õ
N i g h t - DaVinci's
C l u b XS, I C U . FREE
for
C o m m i t t e e C o m i c RclieF D a
M e c h L n g 340
Free
Tools
Fri 12
Beer!
Life's a b e a c h Shaft s p e -
RCSU
Self barnight a n d elections
cial - ICU
C A G : Soup Run, Base-
R e l i a n c e , B a s e m e n t o f results - U n i o n Bar
ment
Beit Q u a d
Hall
Kitchen, Weeks
C A G : S o u p R u n , Basement
Sat 13
ð
m m e e t i n g , all w e l c o m e -
m
CAG:
Theirs 11
CGCU
Kitchen, Weeks
Hal!
Cocktail N i g h t , DaVinci's
1
Caving Club Meet i n g
S o u t h s i de U p p e r L o u n g e
m
ð
'"teabagging" of Simon T h o m p s o n .
m
Sun 14
the
8
t
8
Y
L
Sponsored
s
UniLever
l
ICI
38
Brunei III
14
o v e r t h e l i n e t o s c o r e a s e c o n d +,- .
!
!
I m p e r i a l , reall b e g i n n i n g t o e n j o
t h e g a m e , s t a r t e d t o let l o o s e a n d s p e n t
ICII...
UCL I
.
IC III-
In t h e N e w Year IC II h a v e b e e n h a v i n g
!
a nightmare. We've w o n onl 2 out of
<
league games and been knocked out
H a v i n g b e a t e n St. G e o r g e s in t h e s e c o n d
t h e r e m a i n d e r o f t h e first h a l f c a m p e d
r o u n d o f t h e G u t t e r i d g e c u p , t h e IC 1st
!
XV d e c i d e d t o pla a w a r m u p g a m e
n e a r t h e i r line. M o r e tries w e r e s c o r e d
!
!
b winger And ./01 s a n d the scrum
o f t h e c u p in t h e s e m i - f i n a l . H o w e v e r ,
2C
after = > ? @> A ? B s result a g a i n s t SS/S
!
1st t e a m , t h i n g s a r e s u d d e n l to l o o k a
a g a i n s t B r u n e i 3rd XV.
half Gabriel O d e d i r a n .
w h o l e lot better.
H o w e v e r , all w a s n o t w e l l .
The g a m e started w i t h Brunei p u s h -
h e l d fast. T h e b r e a k c a m e w i t h B r u n e i
!
!
!
c o n c e d i n g a p e n a l t f o r dirt pla In t h e
ruck, a n d D a v e H o g g b o o t i n g t h e ball
s t a m p e d all o v e r .
d e e p i n t o t h e i r half.
Imperial m o m e n t a r i l
line o u t t h r o w f r o m o u r h o o k e r
Dave
Pearce put t h e m t o w i t h i n s c o r i n g r a n g e .
But Imperial w a s h a v i n g n o n e o f it a n d
f r o m t h e n , I m p e r i a l s t a r t e d t o reall
!
put p r e s s u r e o n B r u n e i . O u t r u c k i n g
!%&
g
t h e m in t h e f o r w a r d s a n d o u t " # $
!
!
t h e m i n t h e b a c k s , t h e reall d i d n ' t s e e
m u c h ball. It w a s n ' t l o n g b e f o r e D a v e o
In t h e f a c e o f this,
!
wavered, allowing
t h e m t o p u s h o v e r f o r their first p o i n t s .
!%&
g them and
But IC w a s still o u t " # $
Faced with the G(HH
!%&
g d a n g e r o f rel-
e g a t i o n , it w a s a r e s o l u t e t h i r d t e a m
8& 8!
w h o t u r n e d u p at I J # , d e t e r m i n e d
lo defeat a strong U C L team, a n d gain
!% &
g against a gale
3 v a l u a b l e p o i n t s . K# $
in t h e first half, IC d e f e n d e d like lions,
L% !
)* , i n g o a l , still h a d t o p r o d u c e a
This result s o u n d s like a b a t t e r i n g
s t r i n g o f o u t s t a n d i n g s a v e s t o l e a v e it at
a n d a b a t t e r i n g is w h a t it w a s . D o n ' t g e t
0-0 at h a l f t i m e . H a v i n g w e a t h e r e d t h e
%E8
!N
!
s t o r m M# H$## , IC m i s t a k e n l t h o u g h t
Brunei,
r e a l i s i n g that t h e g a m e w a s n o w in t h e i r
!
!
2
r e a c h , started t o pla dirt a n d t o o k ever
!5
3
opportunit
to stamp o n o u r 4( .
!
Injuries s t a r t e d t o o c c u r a n d earl in t h e
%78
s e c o n d half s a w 6 $
n going off having
!
b e e n k n e e ' d in t h e h e a d a n d g e n e r a l l
ing Imperial back t o their line. A terrible
.2
m e w r o n g , SS/S a r e a g o o d s i d e b u t this
!
d a b e l o n g e d t o IC. T h e first g o a l c a m e
the grave w a s there for the taking, a n d
s o o n , after t h e start o f t h e g a m e f r o m
s t a r t e d t h e s e c o n d h a l f OPQRSPT . U C f a r e
a b e a u t i f u l m o v e started b - Peter C a m p -
a
bell, c o n t i n u e d b - A m a h a n d f i n i s h e d b !
Dave, f r o m t h e most unlikel s o u r c e -
c h a n c e s d e n i e d b - t h e still e x c e l l e n t
L% !
!
)* , e v e n t u a l l m a n a g e d t o s c o r e .
E !5
This set b a c k p r o v e d a )$ $# t t o IC,
!
w h o finall s t art e d t o t a k e c o n t r o l . H o w -
Inaki t h e s u p e r k e e p e r . A l o n g g o a l kick
;
( a i d e d b t h e w i n d ) b o u n c e d just i n s i d e
decent,
a n d having
seen
a few
their b o x a n d p r o c e e d e d t o d i p o v e r
e v e r , w i t h j u s t 10 m i n u t e s t o g o , it w a s
C h a r l i e " w i n d m e u p a n d I start t o g o "
their b e w i l d e r e d k e e p e r s h e a d - 2-0.
still 1-0 t o U C f . T h e n , t h o u g h , t h e ball
C u n n e l p a c e d it d o w n t h e t o u c h l i n e t o
The third a n d fourth goals c a m e s o o n
b r o k e t o M a g i c o n t h e right,
put Ic f u r t h e r i n t h e l e a d .
after f r o m A m a h a n d Peter C a m p b e l l .
s w e e t first t i m e c r o s s w a s m e t b - O l e .
whose
Brunei h a d b- n o w given u p an -
IC b a t t l e d i n t o t h e w i n d i n t h e s e c -
h o p e o f w i n n i n g and w e r e concentrating
!
their efforts o n h u r t i n g o u r p e o p l e . T h e
o n d h a l f a n d s h o c k e d SS/S b - s c o r i n g a
E
D h supplied again b- M r . Campbell,
c e d e d a s c o r e , w o u l d c o m e b a c k w i t h all
!
c a n n o n s firing. But t h e just d i d n ' t s e e m
even decided to be sportsmanlike a n d
super defender.
b r o u g h t o n half o f their s e c o n d t e a m to
!
;
a n d force t h i n g s their 9 : .
!
5 !
T h e r e ' s o n l o n e t h i n g left t o $ ; w e
after s u p p l i e d b - D a n W a i g h t .
t o c o m p a r e at all w i t h o u r fast p a c e d
!
g a m e , a n d it w a s o n l a f e w m i n u t e s
!&
e
later w h e n M a t t " I ' m t o o f a t " ' ( ) * $
tr
a g a i n like t o stress that SS/S a r e a g o o d
thrashed ' e m !
t e a m a n d a r e third in t h e l e a g u e b u t w e
;
w e r e just o u t s t a n d i n g o n t h e F : . It is
attack. H a v i n g c a r r i e d t h e ball f o r U 0
!
5
!
$H V , h i s c r o s s fell e v e n t u a l l O l e , w h o
!
!
!
finished )((## . C u e ecstas
- onl
W
slightl d a m p e n e d b- t h e U C L b u s s o d -
as s i m p l e as that.
d i n g o f f without us.
G o l cut t h r o u g h t h e d e f e n c e t o s c o r e t h e
first p o i n t s f o r IC.
IC t h o u g h t that B r u n e i , h a v i n g c o n -
t o o k t h e ball o n h i m s e l f a n d f l o p p e d
T h e sixth c a m e s o o n
D
C
X
3 rd M a r c h
ULU League
ICII
UY1
SS/S
Id III
2-1
U C L III
LSE
ZY0
IC L a d i e s
U C L IV
1-3
IC IV
!
!
Saturda 2 7 t h F e b r u a r
ICI
I 3
Disco Squad..
RHUL..
...1
U C L M S II
A w i n toda
!
practicall
!
guarantees us
winning the U C premier league.
RHULIV
2-Z
IC IV
B e f o r e t h e g a m e w e t h o u g h t that
!
t h e g a m e m i g h t a c t u a l l b e q u i t e diffi-
Civ. Eng.
!5%
KJ ) s
9 -1
Elec. E n g .
cult b u t w e w e r e m i s t a k e n - it w a s a
Z- 3
Maths
M'ment
3- 3
Mech. Eng.
t h r a s h i n g . T h e first half b e g a n w i t h o u t
!
t h e l e g e n d a r p r e s e n c e o f B i g g e r Titties
a n d Pink G a s h .
RUGBY
UH CUP
ICSM
21-12
GKT
(+ o n e b r o k e n Felix o f f i c e w i n d o w )
ICI
Civ. Eng.
t h e p r e s s u r e , b u t this g a v e M a l c o l m t h e
c h a n c e to lead a devastating counter
Y
FOOTBALL
Wednesda
I would
The 'keeper saved well h e w a s there to
!
bur t h e r e b o u n d . U C L again raised
38-14
<
7 - 49
But o u r h e a d s w e r e n o t b o w e d - w e
Yet a n o t h e r cliff-hanger in t h e s a g a o f t h e
!5
d i s c o 4 ( . W e g r o u n d o u t t h i s result
L87
((#$fs
w i t h b l o o d , s w e a t , tears a n d
cranked u p t h e pressure, probing for
!
c h i n k s in t h e i r a r m o u r . It w a s n e a r l halftime
when
the Disco
Squad
broke
t h r o u g h , a n d t h e ball fell t o Indian Car-
Pants. Grrrr...
pet C a t a l o g u e in t h e m i d d l e o f t h e D.
T h e m a t c h s t a r t e d w i t h a bit o f fire,
!
!5
w i t h pla f l o w i n g b o t h G $ , a l t h o u g h
% 5 !
not at t h e s a m e t i m e , ( 4 c ( d # . I'm f i n d -
Time s l ow e d . His heartbeat p o u n d e d
!E
out a frantic H J J m in his h e a d . H e
&&8 855 % !
dived a n d s k i m m e d . l
)
$H # ,
H o w e v e r , all w a s n o t
i n g It h a r d t o a d m i t , b u t t h e m e d i c s c u m
b e c a u s e n o- on e w a s a t t e m p t i n g t o tackle
lost. T h e p a s s i n g w a s e x c e p t i o n a l ( o c c a [\]^_ ``ab
!
, w i t h t h e ball rarel r e t u r n i n g t o
d i d a p p e a r t o h a v e t h e u p p e r h a n d to
h i m . H e p i c k e d his spot a n d flicked t h e
start w i t h . T e n m i n u t e s i n t o t h e m a t c h ,
!
C a s a n o v a bri ef l b e c a m e lost In d r e a m s
ball i n t o t h e air. It s e e m e d t o h a n g f o r -
o f a lilting W e l s h v o i c e , in t h e t h r o e s o f
the bar a n d hitting t h e back of the net.
t h e IC half. O n c e fast b r e a k B l u e U n d e r !
p a n t s r o u n d e d t w o "#$ s b e f o r e s e t t i n g
ever, b e f o r e l o o p i n g b a c k d o w n u n d e r
B r u n e i III
up J u m b o B w a n a w h o took 3 attempts
an o r g a s m , calling his n a m e . While h e
2-2, a n d t h e c r o w d w e n t w i l d .
M e c h . Eng.
t o p u t t h e ball past t h e k e e p e r .
&8
5 !
Hc(d # ,
T h e s e c o n d half started
!
s e e i n g H o l l o w a p u t p r e s s u r e o n IC's D
s t o o d t h e r e g h i j g , his m a n g a v e h i m t h e
In t h e s e c o n d - h a l f w e t o o k t h e g a m e
o
t o t h e m . O u r spirits m n m p s g a v e u s t h e
for Z m i n u t e s , n o t h e l p e d b - Ic's i n a b i l !
5 8 !
it t o g e t t h e ball o u t $e # .
0-1 t o t h e m e d i c s .
But t h e d e f e n c e c a m e g o o d , n o t
!
;
a l l o w i n g H o l l o w a t o c o n v e r t a n o f this
we
HOCKEY
ICI
13-1
RHUL
Disco Sqd.
3- 2
U C L M S II
MISCELLANEOUS
U l t i m a t e Frisbee
e f f o r t s , t h e m e d i c s m a d e it c o u n t . 1-2
21 - 4 K i n g s
slip, a n d b e f o r e C a s a n o v a c o u l d c a t c h
him, the medics had o p e n e d the scoring.
But, if o u r e n e m i e s strike u s d o w n ,
!
c a n o n l g e t s t r o n g e r . O u r fires
e d g e , a n d this m a t c h w a s n o e x c e p t i o n .
!
C h a n c e s c a m e a g a i n a n d a g a i n , but lad
l u c k w a s n o t s m i l i n g o n f i l t r u m , Lager
Lager a n d I n d i a n C a r p e t C a t a l o g u e . But,
s u r g e d higher a n d not five m i n u t e s h a d
w i t h less t h a n 4 m i n u t e s t o g o , w e w o n
p r e s s u r e . A d e m o n r u n b - 11 p l u s s a w
passed before the S u n d a n c e
t h e ball r e a c h B i g g e r Titties stick less
v e r t e d a n u n o r t h o d o x s h o r t c o r n e r . 1-1
k
T h e battle r a g e d . Ever t a c k l e w a s h a r d
2
f o u g h t ; e v e r pas s h a d t o c o u n t . 10 m i n -
a s h o r t i e . T h e S u n d a n c e Kid s w o o p e d in
!5
a n d it w a s 3-2 t o t h e D i s c o q( . C o m e
t h a n a f o o t f r o m t h e g o a l . T h e third g o a l
was
a tribute to Pink G a s h ' s
speed,
a g g r e s s i o n a n d d e d i c a t i o n (!). F e e l i n g
!
sorr f o r t h e o p p o s i t i o n M r . T g a v e t h e
Kid c o n -
u t e s b e f o r e half-time, I a b i o d e c a p i t a t e d
ball t o t h e i r CF a n d let t h e g a m e rest at
o n e o f t h e o p p o s i t i o n in o u r D, a n d t h e
!
u m p i r e harshl gave t h e m e d i c s a short
3-1.
corner. Despite our defences
valiant
on!
A n d s o , with this victor
!
under our
belts, p r o m o t i o n b e c k o n s m o r e e n t i c r
i n g l t h a n s tu vw x n after a b r a c e o f b e v !
erages a n d a heart vomit. Disco!