You Don`t Have to be a `Mean Girl`

You Don’t Have to be a ‘Mean Girl’:
Helping School Age Girls with
Relational Aggression
Presenter:
Felicia N. Shepherd M. Ed
Overview
Relational Aggression is a growing
concern in schools. One reason for this
ongoing problem is because school age
girls base relationships on outward
appearances instead
i t d off taking
t ki the
th time
ti
to get to know one another.
Texas School Counselor’s
Conference
Austin, Texas
February 12, 2013
Goals & Objectives
• Examine various forms of relational
aggression
• Provide methods to assist ggirls in
finding similarities amongst each other
• Provide strategies in conflict resolution
What is R. A?
Relational Aggression refers to behaviors
that harm others through damaging
their relationships, feelings, of
acceptance, inclusion, in social groups,
and friendships.
Merrell, K. W. (2006). Relational aggression in
children and adolescents: A review with
implications for school settings. Psychology in
the schools, 43(3), 345.
•Exclusion
•Malicious gossip and rumor
spreading
•Rolling
o go
one’s
e s eyes
•Writing notes about someone
•Cyberbullying
•Stealing one’s friends or “boyfriend”
•Threatening to withdraw friendship
•Name calling
1. The Queen Bee: Through a combination of
charisma, force, money, looks, will and
manipulation, this girl reigns supreme over the
other girls and weakens their friendships with
others, thereby strengthening her own power and
influence.
2 The Side Kick: She notices everything about
2.
the Queen Bee, because she wants to be her. She
will do everything the Queen Bee says. The
Queen Bee, as her best friend, makes her feel
popular and included.
3. The Floater: She has friends in different groups
and can move freely among them. She has
influence over other girls but doesn't use it to make
them feel bad.
Wiseman, R. (2002). Queen Bees and Wannabes - Helping Your
Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of
Adolescence . Three Rivers Press, New York.
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4. The Torn Bystander: She's constantly
conflicted about doing the right thing and her
allegiance to the clique. As a result, she's the
one most likely to be caught in the middle of a
conflict between two girls or two groups of girls.
5. The Pleaser/Wannabe/Messenger: She will
do anything to be in the good graces of the
Queen Bee and the Sidekick. When two
powerful girls, or two powerful groups of girls,
are in a fight, she is the go-between. However,
the other girls eventually turn on her as well.
She'll enthusiastically back them up no matter
what. She can't tell the difference between what
she wants and what the group wants.
APPLICATION
You are Now 10 years Old!!!
Wiseman, R. (2002). Queen Bees and Wannabes - Helping Your
Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of
Adolescence . Three Rivers Press, New York.
PRE-SURVEY
• Your Subtopics Go Here
Complete prior to first session. Teachers allow
students to use computer in the classroom.
Resources: www.surveymonkey.com or
www.freeonlinesurveys.com
SESSION 1”FORMING”
INTRODUCTION
•
•
•
•
•
Girls are secretive?
Girls destroy your from the inside?
Girls are manipulative?
p
Girls are more evil than boys?
Girls target you where they know
you’re weakest?
• Girls do a lot behind each other’s
backs?
• Girls plan and premeditate?
5 Minutes
Introduction of Program, establish
“sisterly” rules (Ball & Fannie Rule),
and meet the group
25 Minutes
•Girls decorate their journal (provide
materials)
•Girl Survey, open dialogue on answer
choices as they are creating their
journals
10 Minutes- Wrap Up & Journal Writing
(selected topic)
2
•In avoiding being a “mean girl” today
we….
•What is cool about being a girl?
•What makes being a girl hard?
•FESS UP!
(I ____________ to another girl BUT I
made things right when I _________)
Note: Students have to explain in detail
what bad decision they made and how
they made the situation right.
SESSION 2-FORMING
“What Girl are You?”
Note: Journals remain in the counselor’s office-Give back to
students to keep permanently after the termination stage.
2 Minutes
“Sisterly” rule reminder, brief discussion of
previous session
10 Minutes
“The Clique” Discussion-discuss the roles
with the girls
15 Minutes
View Episode 1-Stop Bulling Now
Team Up-Identify the “players”, report out
3 Minutes
Introduce “Declaration to Myself”
10 Minutes- Wrap Up & Journal Writing
(selected topic)
SESSION 3-CONFLICT
STAGE
“Getting to the Real”
www.stopbullying.gov
2 Minutes
“Sisterly” rule reminder, brief discussion of
previous session
15 Minutes
Handout- “A True Friend..” worksheet
Each girl will complete the worksheet & invite
g
them to share their rankings
6 Minutes
View Episode 10-Stop Bulling Now
“Are they really your friend?”
-identify the good & bad qualities in the video
2 Minutes
“Declaration to Myself”-Girls pull from the jar
and say their declaration with confidence
10 Minutes- Wrap Up & Journal Writing
(selected topic)
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Taylor, J.V. (2008). Salvaging
Sisterhood. YouthLight, Inc.
Chapin, SC.
SESSION 4-COHENSION
“Building Each Other UP”
www.stopbullying.gov
2 Minutes
“Sisterly” rule reminder, brief discussion on
previous session
• Your Subtopics Go Here
5 Minutes
Find Commonalities-student will complete “So You
Think You Know Me? Worksheet
20 Minutes
Share out to find what each other have in
common. What did you learn about someone
that you didn’t know?
3 Minutes
Introduce “Declaration to Myself”
10 Minutes- Wrap Up & Journal Writing
(selected topic)
SESSION 5INTERDEPENDENCE
“Mean Girls Degrade, Nice
Girls Discuss”
Taylor, J.V. (2008). Salvaging Sisterhood.
YouthLight, Inc. Chapin, SC.
4
2 Minutes
“Sisterly” rule reminder, brief discussion of
previous session
• Your Subtopics Go Here
10 Minutes
Conflict Resolution
Introduce-QUEEN
15 Minutes
Episode 12 Stop Bullying Now
Girls will pair up to discuss & incorporate
“QUEEN”.
3 Minutes
Introduce “Declaration to Myself”
10 Minutes- Wrap Up & Journal Writing (selected
topic)
Carolyn Strong-“Black Girl Blues” Webinar
SESSION 6-TERMINATION
“Sisters United”
www.stopbullying.gov
2 Minutes
“Sisterly” rule reminder, brief discussion of
previous session
• Your Subtopics Go Here
20 Minutes
Conflict Resolution
Role Play-Scenarios given
Girls will pair first, and then select their
scenario. Use “QUEEN”. Report out
3 Minutes
Introduce “Declaration to Myself”
10 Minutes- Wrap Up, INOK Pledge, & Journal
Writing (selected topic)
Taylor, J.V. (2008). Salvaging Sisterhood. YouthLight, Inc.
Chapin, SC.
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Follow Up with the group for
lunch within 2 weeks
following termination
THE CAST!
Felicia N. Shepherd M. Ed
President
FiNeSse Consulting, LLC
972-638-SHEP (7437)
felicia.shepherd@fnsconsultingservices.com
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