(850) 638-4191 - Street Talk America

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Street Talk America
January 2015
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Huntin’ & Drinkin’ Moonshine
Manker & Melvin go deer hunting. They settle down
in their stand and start waiting for the deer. This
quickly gets boring for Manker so he reaches into his
bag and withdraws a glass jar of moonshine. “Want
some?” He asks his deer hunting partner. “No, I’ve
got to concentrate on watching for deer.” “Okay...”
he says and happily sips from his jar. They go back to
watching for deer. Again, Manker gets bored and takes
another swig from his jar of shine. He asked Melvin
again, “Sure you don’t want some?” “No, thanks”
is his reply. “Your loss,” he says and happily drains
the jar. He’s pretty sloshed by now, but goes back to
helping Melvin watch for deer. A minute later, a single
deer walks up to their stand. “Bang!!!” goes Melvin’s
rile. “Oh no, I missed it,” he says. Manker is really
drunk by now, he stands up the best he can, waves
his rile in the general direction of the leeing deer and
“Bang!!!” his rile goes. He kills the deer straight out.
“Wow,” Melvin said in shock, “How did you do that?”
“Well,” Manker replied, “When there’s a whole herd
of deer, you can hardly miss, can you?”
306 West Brock Avenue • Bonifay
850-547-9289
Happy New Year
rom the BNRC family to yours!
2/
January 2015 Street Talk America
This grandmother is full of
surprises. Her grandsons were
taking a photo when Granny
decided to pop in just as
the photographer
snapped the picture.
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We would like to thank Jason, Jennifer,
Clayton & Chloe Taylor for posing for the
cover of our 7th annual, Huntin’ & Fishin’
edition of Street Talk America. Read more
about Jason and his family on page 12.
Thanks also to Nikki Elmore Photography!
®
Street Talk America
Washington, Holmes & Jackson Counties
Crossroads Publishing LLC.
P.O. Box 170 • Vernon, FL 32462 • (850)-596-8685
Publisher: Kelley Ward, Streettalkamerica@live.com
Editors: Karen Mashburn and Edsol Jenkins
Sales Representative: Winfred ‘Wimpy’ Carnley
Contributing Writers:
Judy Jenkins Robert E. LaFavre Jason Taylor
Dr. Charlie Hinson Robert Birge
H.L. Brown
BN Heard
Judy Reupke
Sherri Evans Michael Kennedy, ARNP
Timothy Shumaker
Tim Patton
Contributing Artist: Marvin Jenkins
Circulation & Distribution: 12,000 copies of STA are
printed each month. STA is free and available at high trafic
business locations in Washington, Holmes and Jackson counties.
Copies are also available by subscription.
Street Talk America is an outreach ministry
devoted to uplift and entertain the reader. Any resemblance
contained within this publication to some one or some thing is
purely coincidental and not to bring harm or insult to anyone.
Information, stories, helpful hints, jokes, studies and all other
miscellaneous writings, drawings, and pictures are published
without malice, but with the intent to entertain, inspire or teach;
not to cause disillusionment or confusion to anyone; person, party
afiliation, company, denomination or other named or unnamed
entity. The writings contained within Street Talk do not necessarily relect the views of the publisher or editor.
Street Talk America is not the author of many of the jokes
contained herein and claims no copyright privileges to those that
we didn’t author unless noted. The jokes contained herein are not
known to be copyrighted and are believed to be part of the public
domain. Every effort is made not to use copyrighted material
without the author’s consent. To report an improper use of a
copyrighted joke please contact Crossroads Publishing, LLC.,
and we will take the appropriate steps.
Street Talk America January 2015
/3
Loose Change
By: Tim Patton
Pastor, Shiloh Baptist Church
Everyone has mountains of loose
change. The spare change in Angela’s
purse has been known to reach dangerous
levels. The change weighs enough that
the purse could be used as a lethal weapon
and has been known to cause her back and
shoulder pain. Once, when traveling by
plane, airport personnel made her empty
her purse because she had so much change
the X-ray machine could not give a clear
picture of the contents of her purse.
Angela decided the other day to clean
out the excess change (and debris) and gave it to
me to put it in the “spare change jar” we have at the
house. I began to wonder, just how much money is
out of circulation just because of “spare change jars.”
Some estimates I found online state that nearly $10.5
billion is laying around America’s couch cushions
and car ashtrays. Now some of the coins that are out
of circulation are coins the U. S. Mint created to be
collectable, such as the state quarters and presidential
dollar coins. Due to their unique designs and limited
availability, many people choose to keep them as collectors’ items rather than spend them. Many hope that
one day they will also increase in value.
Other coins, however, are out of circulation due
to inconvenience and neglect. The penny has been
viliied in recent years as a coin that no longer has a
place in our economy. Most pennies
are not spent by consumers but are
instead taken to the bank and traded
for larger dominations. As a matter of
fact, penny production costs the U.S.
Treasury 1.83¢ for every 1¢ coin they
make!
As I dumped my handfuls of
change, not to be seen again until the
VBS boys vs. girls offering contest
next year, I had an intriguing thought.
We have a loose change jar in our
house, because I hate to carry change
and would rather carry bills or just
use my debit card. Why? Because I
can buy more with them; I ind them more valuable!
Then, I thought about how we treat our blessings like
our loose change. We fail to recognize the value of
what we already have been given because we are too
busy looking for something greater or more interesting to come along! These blessings can be anything
from possessions we own to time with ones we love to
opportunities to serve and be with our Creator and our
fellow man! All throughout scripture we see people
who missed out on what God wanted to do through
them because they had contempt for the blessings they
possessed and looked around for something greater
(Esau, Moses, King David, King Solomon, King Uzziah, Judas, etc.). As we begin the New Year, maybe we
should begin, not with a list of everything we want to
change (our weight, our spending habits, our exercise
habits, etc.) but instead begin with a list of blessings
we will value! I think that will help us see we already
have a blessed new year!
What’s the difference between
a hunter and a isherman?
A hunter lies in wait. A isherman waits and lies.
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4/
January 2015
Street Talk America
Missing Mother
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and
mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the
jungle, the Mrs. awoke to ind her mother gone.
Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both
trying to ind her mother. The hunter picked up his
rile and started to look for her. In a clearing not far
from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the
mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, “What are we going to do?” “Nothing,” said the hunter husband. “The lion got himself
into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”
The Wednesday-night church service
coincided with the last day of hunting
season. Our pastor asked who had bagged
a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled,
the pastor said, “I don’t get it. Last
Sunday many of you said you were unable
to make service because of hunting season.
I had the whole congregation pray for your
deer.” One hunter groaned,
“Well, it worked. They’re all safe.”
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The Parson of Possum Trot
Hiding in Plain Sight
By:Robert E. Lafavre
The Texas Wal-Mart store was open
24/7, and thus made possible a hiding
place for a teenage boy. Having run away
from home, he sought refuge in the store,
hiding behind boxes in storage rooms,
pilfering food when hungry, and changing
his clothes with things from the rack
periodically to avoid detection. As the news
article said, he was “hiding in plain sight.”
Boy, do we ever see that in the organized
church today: apostates hiding in our midst.
Jude, verse 4, instructs us to beware of
those who will distort the gospel of
Jesus the Christ, omit certain key doctrines,
and accept that which God says we should
condemn. The Bible describes them as
“ravening wolves,” “sneaking” in
“alongside” of true believers.
Anyone hiding in plain sight
in your congregation?
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814 Falling Waters Rd. Chipley, FL
(850) 638-4191
/5
Timothy H. Wells
Attorney at Law Since 1986
(850)547-3644
wellslawirm@bellsouth.net
124 South Waukesha St.
P.O. Box 155
Bonifay, FL 32425-0155
Salty Water Fishing
Two buddies are ishing, but they haven’t caught anything all day. Then another isherman walks by with
a huge load of ish. They ask him, “Excuse me, but
where did you get all those ish?” The other isherman replies, “If you just go down the stream until the
water isn’t salty, you will ind a ton of hungry ish.”
They thank him and go on their way. Fifteen minutes
later, one isherman says to the other, “Fill the bucket
up with water and see if the water is salty.” He dips
the bucket in the stream and drinks some. “Nope.
Still salty.” Thirty minutes later, he asks him to check
again. “Nope, still salty.” One hour later they check
again. “Nope. Still salty.” “This isn’t good,” one isherman inally says. “We have been walking for almost
two hours and the water is still salty!” “I know,” says
the other. “And the bucket is almost empty!”
Two Fish
Two men were in a restaurant and ordered ish. The
waiter brought a dish with two ish, one larger than
the other. One of the men said to the other, “Please
help yourself.” The other one said “Okay,” and
helped himself to the larger ish. After a tense silence,
the irst one said, “Really, now, if you had offered me
the irst choice, I would have taken the smaller ish!”
The other one replied, “What are you complaining
for; you have it, don’t you?”
Did Noah Fish?
A Sunday School teacher was teaching her young
students about Noah and the ark. She asked them what
they thought Noah may have done to pass the time in
the ark for forty days. After waiting a few moments,
the teacher suggested, “Maybe he did a lot of ishing.
How about that?” One little boy gave her a funny look
and said, “I don’t think so. It’s kinda hard to ish with
just two worms!”
Hunting Bear
A couple of hunters from the Czech Republic are
out hunting, and an enormous bear runs up and in a
single gulp devours one of the hunters. Miraculously,
the swallowed hunter remained alive, trapped in
the belly of the grizzly. The other hunter runs back
to town and organizes a rescue party which heads
back to the woods armed with torches, guns, spears,
etc. Soon they spot two bears on the horizon and
everybody starts shooting at the bear thats closest to
them. “No, not that one,” shouts
…the surviving hunter,
“Thats the female.” “The Czech is in the male.”
My kid can outish
your honor roll student.
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Street Talk America
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Aunt Judy’s Kitchen
Southern Recipes rom
“he Old House”
Deer Fingers
2 lbs deer meat
¼ cup hickory liquid smoke
1 ½ cup cooking oil
¼ tsp pepper
½ tsp salt
1 cup self-rising lour
1 tsp garlic salt
1 tsp cajun seasoning
Cut deer into strips and sprinkle each piece with
liquid smoke and let set about 15 minutes. Season
with salt and pepper, garlic salt, cajun seasoning,
then roll meat in lour. Drop in hot grease. Cook
until brown but don’t overcook.
If deer is overcooked it is like eating rubber,
but if seared and allowed to rest for about ten
minutes before slicing, it is like eating butter.
Deer meat cooks faster than beef. If venison
reaches 150 degrees it begins to toughen.
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1410A Brickyard Rd.
Chipley, FL 32428
(850) 415-1411
By: Judy Jenkins
Deer Hash
2 lbs deer meat
1 large onion - chopped
1 tsp garlic salt
½ tsp salt
¼ tsp pepper
Bacon drippings for skillet
Cooked rice
Boil deer meat with seasonings until meat is falling
apart. Let cool, then shred. Cook onions in skillet
with bacon drippings until tender. Add shredded
meat and season more if needed. Serve over rice.
Deer Pie
1 lb ground deer meat
1 small onion
1 jar mushroom & green pepper lavored spagheti
sauce
4 slices mozzarella cheese
1 can crescent rolls
Brown meat and onion in skillet. Knead crescent
rolls into 9 inch pie pan to make crust. Fill pie pan
with meat and spagheti sauce. Bake in 350º preheated oven for 15-20 minutes. Cover with cheese
slices and place in oven until cheese melts.
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Aunt Judy’s Pound Cake
(reprint by request)
3 cups plain lour – sited
3 ½ cups sugar
2 sticks buter – room temp
1 can evaporated milk
½ tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
1 tbs vanilla lavoring
1 tsp lemon lavoring
½ cup Crisco (solid)
5 eggs
Mix room temperature buter and soten Crisco
with sugar. Add all other ingredients but eggs. Mix
well adding eggs one at a time. Pour in well oiled
and loured bundt pan. Bake 1 ½ hours in 325º
oven.
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Street Talk America
January 2015
1135822
Pick 5
Ring in the New Year
/9
Dear Sherri,
I know this time of year is
supposed to be happyChristmas, New Year’s Day... None of it makes me
feel any better. I have a wonderful life- a good job,
a wonderful husband and adorable kids. I am a
Christian, but something inside me feels hollow, sad
and lat. I have always felt that way. As a child, I was
on medication for depression. Most of my family has
been medicated for it as well.
My church teaches that we should believe God for
our healing, so I have come off of all my meds. I feel
like a failure as a Christian because I cannot have
“enough faith” to get well. I am tired of even trying.
Any ideas for me?
Sick Christian
Dear “Sick Christian”,
I want you to know that my heart goes out to you.
Being sick- whether physically or mentally- is very
dificult to deal with. Sometimes, we in the Christian
world, heap condemnation on ourselves and others
because of sickness. That just adds insult to injury.
Let me irst of all say to you, that being sick, in any
way, is not necessarily your fault. We live in a sin-
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10/ January 2015
Street Talk America
fallen world, due to Adam and Eve’s sin. Sickness and
decay are rampant in this world, and even Christians
can suffer the effects of that. Thankfully, as believers,
we have hope of a future in Heaven with no sickness or disease of any kind. And while still on this
Earth, we do have hope of healing at the hands of our
Creator. Sometimes that healing is immediate; other
times, it is progressive. And unfortunately, sometimes
we just have to walk through sickness with the grace
that God provides. We are not always delivered out of
every hardship. Rather than feeling upset about that,
try to trust that God is working all things for your
good! Even this current trial.
There is sickness and depression that can come on
us as a result of sin in our lives, but it could also be
because the enemy of our soul is trying to defeat us. It
is always a good idea to pray and ask the Lord if there
is something He requires of you for healing to occur.
If you are convicted, repent! And then move on! If you
do not feel led that there is anything to change, let go
of condemnation and trust that God is touched with
the feelings of our inirmities. He cares and He will
see you through.
Having said that, I want to assure you that some
people have chemical imbalances that cause depression that has nothing to do with sin or Satan. Just like
a person with high blood pressure needs to take a tablet to bring down their numbers, another person may
need to take medication for the brain to regulate itself
as it should. There is no shame in that. It is not a sign
of personal weakness!
Further, I want to remind you that God is the one
who gives wisdom to mankind to practice medicine.
God placed healing herbs on the Earth. If He heals you
through prayer and medication, He is still gloriied!
If your church family does not understand that, I have
a couple of suggestions for you. First of all, you do
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not have to disclose everything to them. If a person
cannot understand, you do not have to make yourself
vulnerable to them. That matter can be between you
and the Lord alone. A second thought, is you may
consider choosing a church, instead, who will support you and stand with you, rather than judge and
condemn you. We all face our own weaknesses and
battles. None of us have a right to judge another. Particularly, when we do not understand the struggle. Do
not receive that extra baggage from well-meaning,
but uninformed, Christians!
Seek out a counselor. Perhaps your denomination
offers mental health counselors who incorporate a
Christian paradigm. Get the help you need. You deserve to be happy and whole! God wants you to have
life in abundance! May your New Year be illed with
life, joy, and peace, in Jesus’ Name.
Sherry Evans is a wife and a mother of three boys. She is an
ordained minister with the Assemblies of God and an Associate
Pastor at a local church. To read more from Sherri, visit her blog
‘When God Whispers Over Your Life’ @ sherrievans.blogspot.com.
The advice offered in Dear Sherri, is intended for informational and inspirational
purposes only. Use of the column is not intended to replace or substitute for any
professional, inancial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. If you have speciic
concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical
help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualiied specialist.
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WOMEN’S RETREAT
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@ The Legacy By the Sea Resort, Panama City Beach,FL
For full details & registration, 866-850-3318 or www.sherrievansministries.com
Conference Cost: $40* (early bird, $30) Meals and lodging not included.
Visit website listed above for hotel discount!
Retreat Host & Speaker
Sherri Evans
Worship Leader
Tiffane Evans
Street Talk America
January 2015
/11
Good Ol’ Boy
Syndrome
So right now you are scratching your head thinking ‘this guy
is crazy and his wife is going to
skin his hide when she reads this’.
By: Jason Taylor
Hang in there with me for just a
My name is Jason Taylor
minute and let me explain. You
and I was born and raised in
see, I was under the most common
the Vernon area and gradufalse sense of security there is. I
ated from VHS in 1995. I am
thought that because I didn’t drink
married to my best friend,
all that much, didn’t do hard drugs
Jennifer, and we have two
anymore and wasn’t spending all
wonderful children, Clayton
Jason, Jennifer, Clayton & Chloe Taylor my time in the bar that I was good
and Chloe. I ask that you
in the eyes of God. Hey, besides, I would give anyone
would take a few minutes of your time and let me
in need the shirt off my back. I even said my prayers
share my testimony of what God has done in my life
most nights before going to sleep. Sound familiar
with you.
anyone? I had what I refer now to as the “G.O.B. SynFor some of you who knew me from my younger
drome”. That is the good ol’ boy syndrome.
days, I will not go into great detail or speciics of
I’m not one of those people who know the exact
events from the next paragraph, but I’m sure you will
date and time of when I TRULY accepted Christ as my
be reliving some things in your head as you read.
Savior (not that there is anything wrong with knowFrom high school to my mid-twenties, I was about as
wild as anyone could be. From drugs, alcohol, and the ing that), but I will never forget the circumstance. My
party scene to high speed chases running from the law, wife and I were sitting around discussing life and the
world we live in today and decided that we needed to
I could hang with the best of them. I was quite proud
start taking the kids to church if they were ever going
that I was wild, crazy and mean. Anyone who knew
to stand a chance in today’s world. So, the next Sunme during this time of my life can attest to this.
day we loaded up and took off. We didn’t know what
This is the part where most people say “And then
Jesus saved me and I’ve been living happily ever after church we wanted to take them to so we just drove.
since,” but such was not the case for me. I fell into an We ended up several towns away and walked into a
church, pretty much at random. We didn’t know a soul
even more dangerous trap than the wild living I was
there and no one knew us. I couldn’t tell you what
doing. I got married, had children and settled down.
that preacher was preaching on that morning, but I do
know that standing in front of that pew at the end of
the service, God grabbed ahold of me and I have loved
Him ever since.
I realized that day, and have studied it in scripture
since, that the G.O.B. syndrome was leading me
on a path straight to Hell. There is only one way to
Heaven (regardless of how famous the person that
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850-547-3036 • 850-415-6979
116 S. Waukesha St.
Bonifay, FL 32425
1362 N. Railroad Ave.
Chipley, Fl 32428
Serving฀Holmes฀&฀Washington฀County฀Since฀1999.
tells you differently 1 Cor. 2:5) and that “... I was under the most out that I should not have walked away
is through the Son of God, Jesus Christ,
common false sense from. God had a plan for me just as He
does every single person that reads this,
Lord of Lord and King of kings. There
of
security
there
is.
but it is up to you to surrender your life
is nothing I can do. Christ has already
I thought that because to Him and live for Him (Eph. 4: 22-24)
done it for us (John 3:16). It doesn’t
I heard a friend of mine put it like
matter how nice you are. It doesn’t mat- I didn’t drink all that
ter how many times that you got up in
much, didn’t do hard this, if you live for the Jesus of the
the middle of the night and pulled your
drugs anymore and Bible and strive to live your life in acbuddy out of the ditch. It doesn’t matwasn’t spending all cordance to His teachings and you get
to the end of this life and ind out you
ter how many good deeds you do. If
my
time
in
the
bar
was wrong, then what have you lost?
you don’t know Christ as your personal
that
I
was
good
in
You’ve done nothing but live a life of
Savior, you will not spend eternity in
the eyes of God.”
love and compassion for people. If you
Heaven! It’s as simple as that! You see,
don’t follow Jesus and get to the end
Heaven doesn’t have a good ol’ boy system. You are either saved and living for God or you’re and ind out the Bible was true, that there really is a
Hell (Matthew 25:41). Well then you have everything
not! (Luke 16:13) For a long time I thought that just
to lose! Listen folks, there is nothing you have done
because I wasn’t living like I used to, that I was okay
that can’t be forgiven by Christ. It is impossible to be
in the eyes of God. That is one of the biggest lies that
too bad of a person for God’s love! I am living proof
Satan wants us to believe.
of this and anyone who knew me from my younger
I recently happened upon an accident where a car
days knows this.
hit a log truck. I was the second person on the scene.
If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your personal
An 18 year old girl was the driver of the small car and
Savior, I urge you to accept Him today and experience
she appeared to be deceased. As I prayed over this
a love like no other. There is no better compliment to
stranger, I was reminded of how short life is. We are
not promised tomorrow. I couldn’t help but wonder
if this young lady new Christ as her Savior and think
Start your New Year off right with a trip to
back on the close calls I had when I was younger (and
lost). All of the times that I woke up at home and had
no idea how I had gotten there, knowing that I had to
be the driver. The times that I had done so much dope
that I should have overdosed. The vehicles I totaled-
HARRIS FARM SUPPLY
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Sell
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Located at the Red
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God Bless
America
& Our Troops!
It’s time to plan for
Spring Planting!
We are a
Southern
States
Dealer
Call us for info on potatoes & seeds!
850-535-4128
3302 Creek Rd. • Vernon
Hours: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday & Friday 7:30am-5:30pm
Thursday & Saturday 7:30am-12pm
We have a little bit of EVERYTHING!
Mon. - Fri. 9 AM - 4:45 PM
Street Talk America
January 2015
/13
me than when I see someone I haven’t seen in a long
time and for them to say, “Wow you sure seem to be
a different person than you used to be.” My answer
to them is simple. It can be found in Galatians 2:20, I
have been cruciied with Christ; it is no longer I who
live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now
live in the lesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who
loved me and gave Himself for me.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I pray
that God can touch your life like He has mine! I didn’t
write out most of the scriptures referenced for a reason. Hopefully you will take the time to look them up
and read them for yourself.
Mundy’s Realty
Commercial
Residential
Farms
Ranches
Dennis R. Mundy
Broker/Realtor/Owner
Cell:850-326-4403
Ofice:850-352-2300
3185 Main St. Hwy 231
Cottondale, FL 32431
Dennisrm@embarqmail.com
First Deer
It was a clear, cold November morning, every condition imaginable was just right. The young deer
hunter sat still and quiet in the tree stand hoping to
get his irst deer. Just after daybreak, he could hear
the crunching of the leaves as a deer made its way
down the trail toward his stand. His heart quickened.
Moments later, a HUGE 10-pointer at least 20” wide
stood still, broadside, not more than 20 yards away.
He slowly raised the rile, clicked off the safety,
squeeze, boom. The deer dropped instantly in his
tracks. The guy was so excited, he quickly hung the
gun back on the nail in the tree, scampered down
the ladder and ran over where the buck lay. Reaching for his knife to begin ield-dressing the deer, he
realized that he must irst tag the deer. Not wanting
to get into any trouble, he laid down his knife, pulled
the tag from his pocket, illed it out, and neatly tied
it to the buck’s massive antlers. He reached down
picked up the knife to resume ield-dressing the deer,
then the buck did something unexpected, he jumped
up, snorted and ran back up the trail over the ridge.
The young hunter stood there in amazement for a
moment, glanced back up in the tree at his rile hanging near the stand, looked at the knife in his hand,
MooreCo
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850-547-9511
14/
January 2015
Street Talk America
Winter hours 7a.m.-5p.m.
then mumbled a couple of choice words, then tore
out running after the big buck. Moments after the
buck crossed over the ridge top, there was a boom
from another hunter’s rile. The young deer hunter
thought to himself, “Oh no, not my deer.” As he
reached the ridge top and crossed over, he saw the
big buck lying on the trail ahead of him as a hunter
cautiously approached the downed deer checking it
for dead. The young hunter runs up to the guy, out
of breath he explains “That’s my deer, huff, huff,
that’s my deer.” “Like heck it is” said the other
guy. “I just shot this one.” “No, no, look, it’s got
my tag on his antlers.” The second hunter looked
down at the deer, sure enough, there were tags attached to the antlers. He looked back at the young
guy completely exhausted and out of breath holding the pocket knife and says, “Fella, if you’re man
enough to tag ‘em irst and then run ‘em down, you
can have this deer.”
DEE’S RESTAURANT
Specializing in
Steaks & Seafood
Daily Lunch Specials
Starting at $5.99
535-6449
Take-Out
Catering
Open Monday - Saturday
Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner
On the corner of Hwy 79 and 277
3730 Hwy 277 • Vernon
To Feed Five Thousand
A nervous young minister, new to the church,
told the lock, “For my text today, I will take the
words, ‘And they fed ive men with ive thousand loaves of bread and two thousand ishes.’”
A member of the lock raised his hand and said,
“That’s not much of a trick. I could do that.” The
minister didn’t respond. However, the next Sunday
he decided to repeat the text. This time he did it
properly: “And they fed ive thousand men with
ive loaves of bread and two ishes.” Smiling, the
minister said to the noisy man, “Could you do that,
Mr. Perkins?” The member of the lock said, “I
sure could.” “How would you do it?” “With all the
food I had left over from last Sunday!”
Top 5 Signs You’ve Hired
the Wrong Hunting Guide
(850) 638-4191
5. Your guide blows into a big sea shell horn to
attract game and a bunch of Vikings show up
instead.
4. Your guide is completely outitted with
“Barney” camping equipment.
3. As you close in on a deer, your guide whispers
in an Elmer Fudd voice, “Be vehhwey vehhwey
quiet.”
2. He calls trees by their irst names.
And the number one sign you’ve hired the wrong
hunting guide:
1. He is prone to scream, “Run, Bambi, RUN!”
Street Talk America
January 2015
/15
Brown Pump Repair
850-638-9355
John฀R.฀Brown,฀Owner
Chipley,฀Florida
C O V I N G T O N MU
BUY • SELL • TRADE • REPAIR • LAYAWAY
S
850-557-1918 1288 Jackson Ave • Chipley, FL 32428 I
C
covingtonmusic@yahoo.com
850-638-5050
Sales & Music Lessons
Guitar, Bass, Drums, Piano, Mandolin,
Violin, Banjo & Dobro Lessons
Piano
WANTED: Musical Instruments
Tuning
of any kind and any condition.
Find the ive hidden arrows and color the picture.
Heaven Sent
Thrift Shoppe
ROOFING
LLC
Call Eric 850•703-7639
Fast - Friendly - Reliable
Furniture • Collectables • Gits & More
Barbara Hancock (205)983-2208
Farren Hancock (205)983-2271
Hours: Mon. 10a.m-3p.m.
Tues.-Sat. 10a.m.-6p.m.
Lic#RC29027526
What do you get if you cross a
telephone with a hunting dog?
A golden receiver!
What does the lion say to
his friends before they go
out hunting for food?
Let us prey.
Email: wilson8199@gmail.com
682 North 5th Street • Chipley, Fl 32428
Street Talk America
January 2015
/17
loor I squeezed off a round. The side of my boat took
the whole load of buck shot at close range. It made
just one hole the size of a Coke can. Thinking I had
bird shot didn’t help! I had shot my boat at the water
line and it began to take on water and sink.
While falling I hit the sore foot with the stock of the
gun. My foot turned into a hot pain and all I could do
is moan and carry on. Why didn’t I just stay inside
with my foot elevated? Crawling and dragging myCabin Fever, Pills & Spiders
self, I made it back inside and kicked the door closed
Winter is upon us and the north wind will chill you
by using my good foot. What next? Things just have
to the bone. Rain mixed with sleet continues to fall
to get better.
and it doesn’t look like it’s stopping anytime soon. I
I just thought that things couldn’t get worse. Some
feel about as gloomy as those grey skies overhead.
of the swelling had gone down from before, but after
For the past three days I have been boxed up in this
re-hurting it, now it was twice the size. All night I
cabin. Somehow while duck hunting, I stepped into a
was in pain and about daybreak, I drifted off to sleep.
stump hole and twisted my ankle. The thing swelled
Around 7a.m., each time my heart would beat, I could
up and turned blue and purple. It hurts like crazy. If I
feel it in my foot. Time to go see if it was cracked or
could have bandaged it up right, it wouldn’t have been badly broken. Pulling myself into the half sunk boat,
so bad. Being in waist deep water and about a quarter
I stuck a sock illed with moss into the hole in my
mile from the boat didn’t help matters any.
boat. After bailing the water out, I managed to get
The wood heater keeps the cabin warm and cozy, but underway.
I’m not into being dirty and cozy. Standing on one foot
The doctor wanted to know how the accident hapout on the porch, I can hear the wood ducks squealing. pened. All I said was, ‘don’t shoot high brass buck
Have you ever shot a 12 gauge standing on one foot?
shot while trying to balance on one foot.’ The doctor
If not, don’t.
who made the cast wanted to know if I wanted camo
The ducks were lying low, well within range, so I
color. No way! Make it hot pink with little hearts, I
leaned against the post to brace myself when I shot.
want people to see it. Doc said to be sure to keep it
It kicked my good foot out from under me and I fell.
dry and I told him to wrap it up in a garbage bag. I
While falling I managed to keep hold to the gun, but
didn’t tell him that I had to run up stream two miles
my trigger inger was still on the trigger. When I hit the in a hard rain with my leg sticking straight out.
Cabin fever is what I now have, but I don’t mind
he
850-415-7115 Friday’s
and I don’t hurt because of all those little pills. After
Fried Fish
eating those bad boys you won’t care if your boat has
a hole in it or not. One thing about those pills, you
can’t sleep and after being up for four days, it’s fun to
watch all those big spiders crawling everywhere.
Later,
Gator
Monday - Friday, 4:30p.m.-Until
Tales by
Gator Brown
Colonial Restaurant
Southern Style Buffet
Now Open For Dinner!
• Fried & Baked Chicken •Baked Ham
•Fried Pork Chops •Country Fried Steak
Fresh Vegetables Every Day
• Homemade Casseroles •Turnips
•Fried Okra •Mustard Greens
•Lima Beans •Black Eyed Peas
•Mashed Potatoes & Gravy •Corn
•Cabbage •Chicken & Rice
Open 10:30a.m.-2:30p.m. ~ Closed Sat.
686 5th St. Chipley, FL
18/ January 2015
Street Talk America
Mitch’s Collision
850.600.7006
M
Quality Collision Repair
Automotive Reinishing
1335 Brickyard Rd.
Chipley, FL
Mitch Gainer, Owner
Mitchscollision@att.net
You might be from Washington,
Holmes or Jackson County if…
• You’ve killed a wild hog by choking it with your
belt.
• You call your child’s doctor the ‘Peter-a-trician’.
• You wear a Piggly Wiggly t-shirt and you don’t work
there.
• Your name is taped on the Pickled Egg jug at the gas
station to let the employees know to save it for you…
then, you take it home for your boiled eggs.
• You’ve thrown a party with red gingham.
• You pronounce ‘Hymnal’ as a three syllable word. Him-in-al
• Who needs a ‘bun’! You’d rather have lightnin’ bread
with your fat burger.
814
Falling Waters Rd. Chipley, FL
• In elementary school, you visited at least one or
more of these on a ield trip: The Marianna Caverns,
(850) 638-4191
Falling Waters State Park or The Dairy Farm.
• You’ve been ‘Snipe huntin’.
• You’ve been to ‘The Wal-Mart’ in pajamas.
• You’ve made purchases and minimum monthly
payments to Fingerhut.
• And last but certainly not least….You can take a joke! My son’s real smart!” crowed the mother to a
friend. “He’s only six, but he can already spell
Country people love to laugh,
his name backwards and forwards!”
even if it is at ourselves!
“What’s his name?” asked the friend. “Bob.”
Orange Hill Express, Inc.
982 Orange Hill Rd. Chipley
Area’s Largest
Purina Dealer
14 Years Strong
Like us on
It’s not what we do but how we do it!
January
Special
Strategy Horse Feed or
638-9505
Mon-Sat 5:30a.m. - 11p.m.
Closed Sunday
non-ethanol gas
$1.00 OFF
With this ad. Exp 1/30/15
Stocker-Grower Cattle Feed
Spring Garden Fishing & Hunting Headquarters!
Center Coming Crickets & Worms
Soon!
Freshwater Fishing Supplies
Seed
Potatoes
Available in
January!
Mineral Rocks & Attractants
Gloves & Hand Warmers
Muck Boots
Dog Safety Vests
Digital Game Cameras
Custom Collars & Much More!
Street Talk America
January 2015
/19
Fish & Chips
Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she’s just
in time for dinner and was treated to the best ish and
chips she had ever tasted. After dinner, she went into
the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of
the brothers. The irst one says, “Hello, I am Brother
Michael, and this is Brother Charles.” “I’m very
pleased to meet you,” replies the nun. “I just wanted to
thank you for a wonderful dinner. The ish and chips
were the best I’ve ever had! Out of curiosity, who
cooked what?” Brother Charles replied, “Well, I’m the
Fish Friar.” She turned to the other Brother and said,
“Then you must be...?” “Yes, I’m afraid so--I am the
Chip Monk.”
Getting Smarter
A customer at Green’s Gourmet Grocery marvels at
the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence. “Tell me,
Green, what makes you so smart?” “I wouldn’t share
my secret with just anyone,” Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won’t hear. “But
since you’re a good and faithful customer, I’ll let you
in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you’ll
We have
plenty
of fresh
shelled
pecans!
The Oaks
Restaurant
Angus Beef
Jumbo Shrimp
Delicious Southern Buffet
Full Menu Available
Tuesday Night: Seafood Buffet
Thursday Night: Prime Rib
Highway5:00pm-7:30pm
90 E. • Marianna, FL 32446
Eddie & Jo Davis / LaNita Smith
The Oak Station Shopping Center
Highway 90 East. • Marianna, FL 32446
(850) 526-1114
20/
be positively brilliant.” “You sell them here?” the
customer asks. “Only $4 apiece,” says Green. The
customer buys three. A week later, he’s back in the
store complaining that the ish heads were disgusting
and he isn’t any smarter. “You didn’t eat enough,” says
Green. The customer goes home with 20 more ish
heads. Two weeks later, he’s back and this time he’s
really angry. “Hey, Green,” he says, “You’re selling
me ish heads for $4 a piece when I can buy the whole
ish for $2. You’re ripping me off!” “You see?” says
Green. “You’re smarter already.”
Ice Fishing
A drunk decides to go ice ishing, so he gathers his
gear and goes walking around until he inds a big
patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and
begins to saw a hole. All of a sudden, a loud booming voice comes out of the sky. “You will ind no ish
under that ice.” The drunk looks around, but he sees
no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice
speaks, “As I said before, there are no ish under the
ice.” The drunk looks all around, high and low, but
he can’t see a single soul. He picks up the saw and
tries one more time to inish. Before he can even start
cutting, the huge voice interrupts. “I have warned you
three times now. There are no ish!” The drunk is now
lustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice,
“How do you know there are no ish? Are you God
trying to warn me?” “No,” the voice replied. “I am the
manager of this hockey rink.”
Shane & Mary Margaret Obert - Owners
1556 Brickyard Road • Chipley, Florida 32428
850-638-2122 www.obertfuneralhome.com
Your loved ones deserve the best...
Let us assist you in giving them peace of
mind by planning ahead.
he Obert family and staf is commited to meeting your needs by
providing digniied and afordable funeral and cremation services in
a comfortable homelike atmosphere. Obert Funeral Home is fully
licensed through the State of Florida to handle pre-arranged funerals.
We now ofer Monuments,
Coping & Cemetery Work.
Why I Quit Fishing...
Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly,
made my lunch, grabbed the dog and ishing equipment, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the
boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a
torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph.
I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and
discovered that the weather would be bad throughout
the day. I went back into the house and slipped back
into bed, where my wife was turned away from me. I
whispered to her, “The weather out there is terrible.”
My loving wife of 20 years replied, “Can you believe
my stupid husband is out ishing in that mess?” I still
don’t know to this day if she was joking, but I’ve
stopped ishing.
Call for Help
A friend, driving home from a ishing trip in northern
Michigan with his boat in tow, had engine trouble a
few miles inland from Lake Huron. He didn’t have a
CB radio in his car. So, he decided to use his marine
radio to get help. Climbing into his boat, he broadcast his call letters and asked for assistance. A Coast
Guard oficer responded, “Please give your location.”
“I’m on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish.”
The oficer paused, “Could you repeat that?” “I-75,
two miles south of Standish.” After a longer pause, an
incredulous voice asked, “How fast were you going
when you hit shore?”
Surplus & Salvage
of Chipley
850-638-7353
1600 Hwy 90 • Chipley, FL 32428
24x24- $1,699
24x36- $1,999
24x48- $2,499
24x60- $2,899
All kits come with galvalume metal. 32x36- $2,499
Painted metal is an additional charge.
Installation available. Other sizes
available upon request.
32x48- $3,199
32x60- $3,899
Pole
Barn Kits
Metal Rooing
(Panels cut to Length)
Galvalume $1.30 ft.
Painted $1.89 ft.
Call today to schedule an appointment!
(850)547-4440
Patrick Hawkins, MD
Michael Kennedy, ARNP
Family Medicine
Like us on
facebook.
Meg Taylor, ARNP
Women’s Health
Come grow with us.
Large
Selection
of Carpet,
Vinyl Flooring
& Laminate!
Remnants in
Stock!
All Pricing Subject to Change
Street Talk America
January 2015
/21
Cranks My
Tractor
By: BN Heard
www.CranksMyTractor.com
Almost like Ms. Fannie Lou’s Teapot…
Some folks include skydiving, backpacking across
Europe and taking exotic cruises on their bucket lists.
Others want to ride in a hot air balloon, see the Northern Lights or experience New Year’s Eve at Times
Square in New York City.
You may not think it’s exciting, but I wanted a teapot
just like Ms. Fannie Lou’s in Vernon, Florida. Ms.
Fannie Lou is the woman who invited me into her
house in Vernon when I originally went back to see if
Vernon still held the magic it did when my Papa and I
used to visit when I was a little boy. Papa would say,
“Let’s go to Vernon,” and we would go. We would get
there to the sleepy little town on the Florida Panhandle
and get out of the car with my Papa’s little dog. He
would say, “We’re in Vernon now.” Then we would
have some cheese and crackers and a Nehi soda water
and either head back to his house in rural Alabama or
on down to the beach in Panama City.
As many folks who follow my writing know, Ms.
Fannie Lou has now moved into a retirement home
down in Florida, but she invited me in her house before she moved and showed me “The Pink Room.”
In the Pink Room, there were shelves with teapots and
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Hard Lime Rock
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doodads and all kinds of beautiful things. On one of
the shelves was a “magic teapot” that played a beautiful tune – a tune that just made my heart race…
Ms. Fannie Lou and I couldn’t quite “Name that
tune,” the teapot was playing. She promised me she
would igure it out and let me know. She did… When
I went back to visit Ms. Fannie Lou in the retirement
home, she pulled a little piece of paper out of her
purse with the name of the song on it. “A Time for
Us…” Goodness, it was just the perfect song title for a
magic teapot to play. And the teapot? Ms. Fannie Lou
still had it there in the retirement home. Of all the teapots and doodads, IT was the one she decided to keep.
I was so happy to see the teapot, hear it play again and
ind out the name of the tune it was playing.
I sat and cried as we listened to the teapot play. Ms.
Fannie Lou just kept giving me tissues. My memories
of Vernon, Florida as a child, Ms. Fannie Lou’s continued kindness and the little teapot just got to me. Ms.
Fannie Lou understood.
I got home to Virginia, after seeing Ms. Fannie Lou
once again, being named an “Honorary Citizen” of
Vernon and getting to be the Grand Marshal of Vernon
Christmas Parade. I decided that I had to have a teapot
just like Ms. Fannie Lou’s. It couldn’t just play the
right song, it had to be “identical.” I knew I couldn’t
have Ms. Fannie Lou’s teapot; that just wouldn’t be
right…. It was famous and it was hers. But I could
look for one just like it…
So I started looking in 2012. Over the last couple of
years, I have searched all sorts of antique and teapot
collectors’ sites and places on the internet, just hoping
to ind the white teapot with roses, daisies, forget-menot’s and lace around the bottom of the teapot and the
rim of the lid. At least I thought the little blue lowers were “forget-me-nots;” if they weren’t, they sure
looked like them. One of the lowers on Ms. Fannie
Lou’s “magic teapot” needed to be a forget-me-not.
Street Talk America
850-319-8833
DRIVEWAYS
Grading • Landclearing
Recently, I found one
– an exact replica of Ms.
Fannie Lou’s. A lady
who runs a second-hand/
consignment store on the
Upper Peninsula of Michigan had it listed for sale. I
did not wait. I bought the
teapot from the little shop
in Manistique, Michigan. Ms. Fannie Lou’s Teapot
In the process of buying the teapot, the consignment store lady in Michigan
wanted me to buy the cup and saucer that went with it.
Ms. Fannie Lou didn’t seem to have the cup and saucer that went with hers, but this nice lady in the thrift
store thought that I needed it. I understood. She was
just being nice and trying to make another sale. Sure,
send me the matching cup and saucer - anything to get
“the teapot” to me sooner.
In the meantime, I sat and waited, humming the tune
that the teapot plays and reading wonderful things
about Manistique, Michigan. Hoping each day that the
mail man or the delivery truck would bring the teapot
and allow me to check it off my bucket list.
It came on Sunday,
December 14th. I didn’t
think the Postal Service
delivered on Sunday,
but I guess they realized it was a
“magic teapot.”
My sincere hope is
that I can take it to
Florida and have my
My Teapot
picture made with a
beautiful woman in her nineties who made me want
that teapot so badly. What a picture! Ms. Fannie Lou
and her teapot and I with mine….
Maybe it is not technically Ms. Fannie Lou’s teapot,
but it is “almost” it and as close as I can get. She
needs to at least hold it, so it will have “True Vernon,
Florida Magic.” I will now have to add another trip
to see Ms. Fannie Lou and a picture of us with our
teapots to my list of things I have to do!
Find more stories at www.cranksmytractor.com
Cranks My Tractor stories are published in
Street Talk America with the writer’s permission
and in hopes of making you smile.
With a litle planning
and the right people,
iling your taxes can
be as easy as hunting
with the kids.
Heather N Wells PA
Heather Wells, CPA-Owner
heathernwellspa@gmail.com
Income Taxes •Payroll •Sales Tax •Bookkeeping •QuickBooks Pro Advisor
P.O. Box 160 • 1378 N Railroad Ave. Chipley, FL
(850)638-0408
Street Talk America
January 2015
/23
Towards & Away
Many years ago, a isherman’s wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very
much, but couldn’t think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the isherman said,
“Let’s not decide on names right now. If we wait a
little while, the names will simply occur to us.”
After several weeks had passed, the isherman and his
wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of
the boys would turn towards the sea, while the other
boy would face inland. It didn’t matter which way the
parents positioned the children, the same child always
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faced the same direction. “Let’s call the boys Towards
and Away,” suggested the isherman. His wife agreed,
and from that point on, the boys were simply known
as Towards and Away. The years passed and the lads
grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging
isherman said to his sons, “Boys, it is time that you
learned how to make a living from the sea.” They
provisioned their ship, said their goodbyes, and set sail
for a three month voyage. The three months passed
quickly for the isherman’s wife, yet the ship had not
returned. Another three months passed, and still no
ship. Three whole years passed before the grieving
woman saw a lone man walking towards her house.
She recognized him as her husband. “My goodness!
What has happened to my darling boys?” she cried.
The ragged isherman began to tell his story, “We were
just barely one whole day out to sea when Towards
hooked into a great ish. Towards fought long and
hard, but the ish was more than his equal. For a whole
week they wrestled upon the waves without either of
them letting up. Yet eventually the great ish started to
win the battle, and Towards was pulled over the side
of our ship. He was swallowed whole, and we never
saw either of them again.” “Oh dear, that must have
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been terrible! What a huge ish that must of been!”
“Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that
got Away....”
Light of the Moon
Off the coast of Newfoundland, a great many ishermen do their ishing at night. They navigate solely
by the light of the moon, scorning more sophisticated methods. Of course, from time to time this method fails, and shipwrecks are the result. The Departof Fisheries was reviewing statistics one day
out ment
a
competitive
and was shocked to discover how many shipwrecks
t – a Single
Premium
there were
during night ishing. When they discovered bonus
that the ishermen
interest
from were navigating by the light
of the moon, they promptly installed buoys near all
the dangerous shoals and reefs to aid night navigation. To their surprise, when the statistics came in the
following month, the shipwrecks had tripled! The
d
buoys were removed, and things returned to normal.
The moral of the story: You can’t send a buoy to do
a moon’s job!
rate.
Healing Angel
Three guys are ishing on a lake when an angel appears
in the boat with them. The irst guy gets over his shock
and humbly says to the angel, “I’ve suffered from back
pain for years. Is it too much to ask that you help me?”
The angel touches the man’s back, and he feels instant
relief. The second guy points to his Coke-bottle glasses
and asks if the angel could cure his poor eyesight. The
angel tosses the man’s glasses into the lake. When they
hit the water, the man’s vision clears, and he can see everything distinctly. The angel now turns to the third guy,
who throws up his hands in fear. “Don’t touch me!” he
cries. “I’m on disability!”
Students at a school were asked to write
about the harmful effects of oil on ish.
One 11-year-old wrote, “When my mom
opened a tin of sardines last night, it was
full of oil and all the sardines were dead.”
dary guaranteed interest
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is
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um guaranteed interest
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t bonus of 3.00%.
This
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Phone: 850-832-0660
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Street Talk America
January 2015
/25
Days Gone By
By:Judy Reupke, Vernon, FL
So another new year is upon us again.
Glancing back over the past year, my
husband Jerry and I have traveled
many miles and have seen many
sights; we have lived some really great
irst time experiences (which may
seem quite unreal seeing that we are
both of the “older generation”)
It is such irony that what is the
present today, is the past tomorrow,
and is history in the years and to the
generations to come? While crossing
America this past summer, I saw for
the irst time; ields of tobacco being
harvested by hand, the sight was awesome and I took
pictures trying to just document the event in my life
and perhaps share just some of the rich history behind
such an action. Florida has been known in times past
to grow and harvest tobacco then produce cigars that
rivaled the Cuban cigar in its’ day. Yes, this is true, I
came across pictures in the Florida archives of the
Florida Cigar Company, Quincy, Florida during the 1950-1960 timeframe. It
is an industry that once was booming,
but has dimmed through the passage
of time. There was also another farm
named American Sumatra Tobacco
Farm, Quincy, Florida.
Another Northwest Florida Industry,
not heard of much today is that of the
Turpentine Industry. This is a picture
of the Plant that was operating in Chipley, Florida back in 1905. It seems to
make me tired just thinking about all
the manual labor that went into making
such industries a success during their
time of operation. The Florida-Alabama Railroad, among other modes of
transport were involved in making these local industries a success.
We had lumber yards or mills, one of which employed my Dad as a saw sharpener and ensured our
daily bread and butter for a number of years. I will
always be thankful for Arnold Lumber Company of
Caryville, Florida. One sure thing about it, my Dad
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worked hard and continuously for a number of years
to ensure he contributed his part in the provision for
our family and household needs. I know there are so
very many families who could vouch for the Dads in
their homes, and their Mothers as well. My mother
worked in what we called the “sweat shops”, or sewing factories. I guess all my sisters, as well as myself,
worked in the Holmes Shirt Company, located in Bonifay, Florida for a number of years. We were so very
proud of ourselves once we could make “production”.
Yes, those were the jobs and those were the days…
Today we are greeted with up-to-date technology
industries, what with cell phone, dvd, blue tooth and
the like. We need to go to the gym, walk the treadmill,
or have group exercise sessions to ensure we have
muscle mass and not exceed our needed fat composite
for our bodies. Seems that the “Days Gone By” jobs
may have done more than put food on the table….
They may have saved us from all the added “extras”
of today’s mobility situations.
We hope you all have a good and pleasant New Year.
You know, we truly have come a long way since back
then and have so very much to be thankful for. God
has blessed us so very much. Thanks for tuning in
with me this month, if just for a little while.
A friend and his wife were considering
traveling to Alaska for a trip that the
husband had long dreamed of taking.
He kept talking about how great it
would be to stay in a log cabin without
electricity, to hunt moose, and drive
a dog team instead of a car.
“If we decided to live there permanently,
away from civilization, what would you
miss the most?” he asked his wife.
She replied, “You.”
Florida Springs RV
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850-547-3042 • 850-258-3110
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Closed Sunday & Monday
www.loridaspringsrvpark.com
Andy & Alicia would
like to thank the
Florida Springs &
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They are a blessing!
We would also like to
thank our customers
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996 Donnell Rd. • Chipley, FL 32428
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Street Talk America
January 2015 /27
Nagging
A man left work on Friday afternoon, but instead of
going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting
with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When
he inally appeared at home Sunday night, he was
confronted by his very angry wife. Finally, his wife
stopped the nagging and said to him. “How would
you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”
To which he replied, “That would be ine with me.”
Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday
and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where
he could see her a little out of the corner of his left
eye.
Hunting with the Preacher
A lawyer, a doctor, and a preacher went hunting
together. When a prize buck ran past them, they all
ired at the exact same moment and the buck dropped.
However, there was only one bullet hole, and they
didn’t know which of them shot it. So they took it to
the registration center, not knowing who should tag it.
The agent said, “Let me look at the deer. Sometimes
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I can igure it out.” He asked a few questions, examined the deer carefully, and declared, “The preacher
shot this buck!” Amazed, they all asked how he knew.
Stooping down, he pointed out the wound. “See here.
It went in one ear and out the other.”
Another Hunting Preacher Story
A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some bear hunting. As
he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail,
he and a bear collided, sending him and his rile tumbling down the mountainside. Before he knew it, his
rile went one way and he went the other, landing on a
rock and breaking both legs. That was the good news.
The bad news was the ferocious bear charging at him
from a distance, and he couldn’t move. “Oh, Lord,”
the preacher prayed, “I’m so sorry for skipping services today to come out here and hunt. Please forgive me
and grant me just one wish ... please make a Christian
out of that bear that’s coming at me. Please, Lord!”
That very instant, the bear skidded to a halt, fell to its
knees, clasped its paws together and began to pray
aloud right at the preacher’s feet. “Dear God, bless this
food I am about to receive...”
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion
felt so good he started roaring. He kept it
up until a hunter came along and shot him...
The moral: When you’re full of bull,
keep your mouth shut!
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850-638-SPA1 (7721)
A Messed Up Trip
A guy was telling his friend about his recent deer
hunting trip to Montana. “We were out in the woods
all morning and our guide decided that we should take
a break along the river bank. I wasn’t feeling tired so
I went for a stroll while the others were resting. As I
was walking, a grizzly bear burst out of the brush in
front of me. I turned and started running through the
woods with the bear after me. The bear almost caught
up with me but slipped and fell down. I kept running
and the bear almost caught up with me again twice,
but slipped and fell each time. I inally reached the
river bank. The guide saw the bear chasing me and
shot it dead.” “Wow!” replied his friend, “That’s incredible. If I were you, I would have messed all over
myself.” The irst guy answered, “What do you think
the bear was slipping on?”
Good Milk
Farmer Jones’ cows had recently stopped giving
good milk. So, he went around asking for advice, and
someone told him that happy cows give good milk.
So every morning he would go out and tell some
jokes to his cows, and they would all laugh. But the
rest of the cows in that community thought that the
jokes were pretty stupid. Because of this, his cows
became the laughing stock of the town.
A man pacing back and forth glanced at
his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife,
“Honey, are you ready yet?”
Shouting back, the woman replies,
“For crying out loud, I’ve been telling
you for the last half hour...
I’ll be ready in a minute!”
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To take a trophy buck this year.
In the receipts my wife has found
That deer cost me $900 a pound!
The Medical Gallery
Home Medical Equipment
217 North Waukesha Street • Bonifay, FL 32425
(850) 547-6186
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Rental Power Chairs & Scooters
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1335 Brickyard Rd. • Chipley, FL
Locally Owned & Operated
Street Talk America
January 2015
/29
Not Her Type
Duck decoys, ishing rods, boots -- outdoor gear of
all kinds was piled high in the garage. One day I found
my wife staring at the mess. “I hope I die irst, so I
don’t have to get rid of all this,” she sighed. “Look on
the bright side,” I suggested. “If I go irst, you can put
an ad in the paper. When all the men come by to check
out the stuff, you can pick out a replacement for me.”
Still staring at the pile, she said, “Nah. Whoever
would want all this stuff wouldn’t be my type.”
Fishing with Red
A game warden noticed how a particular fellow
named Red consistently caught more ish than anyone
else. Whereas the other guys would only catch three or
four ish a day, Red would come in from the lake with
a boat full of ish. Stringer after stringer was packed
with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked
Red his secret. The successful isherman invited the
game warden to accompany him and observe. So the
next morning, the two met at the dock and took off in
Red’s boat. When they got to the middle of the lake,
Red stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see
how it was done. Red’s approach was simple: He took
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out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it into the air.
The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that
dead ish immediately began to surface. Red took
out a net and started scooping them up. When the
warden recovered from the shock of it all, he began
yelling at Red, “You can’t do this! I’ll put you in jail,
buddy! You will be paying every ine there is in the
book!” Red, meanwhile, set his net down and took
out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it
in the lap of the game warden with these words: “Are
you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you
going to ish?”
Not So Perfect Driver
Rushing to a hair appointment, I was pulled over
for going 53 in a 35 MPH zone. “What’ll I tell my
husband?” I worried, explaining to the police oficer
that my spouse was a self-described “perfect” driver.
The cop took a second look at the name and address
on my license. “Did your husband go hunting this
morning?” “Yes,” I said, bafled as to how he knew.
The oficer inished with, “I stopped him for going
57.”
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• Boats don’t have parents.
• Boats don’t whine unless something is really
wrong.
• If your Boat makes too much noise, you can buy a
mufler.
• You only need to get a new belt for your Boat when
the old one is really worn.
• If your Boat smokes, you can do something about
it.
• Boats don’t mind if you look at other Boats, or if
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• If you say bad things to your Boat, you don’t have to
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• Boats don’t care if you are late.
• If your Boat doesn’t look good, you can paint it or get
better parts.
Telling Tales
A young man and an old man were ishing on a pier.
The young man started telling the old one that the night
before he caught a trout that was over 3 1/2 feet long.
The old man replied “Oh yeah, well I was here 2 nights
ago and I hooked something huge. After a 30 minute
ight I inally got it up and it was an old lantern and the
thing was still lit.” The young man said “Your’re lying. I
can’t believe that.” Then the old man said “I’ll tell you
what, you knock a couple of feet off your trout and I’ll
blow out my lantern.”
My sister and nephew Danny were digging
for ishing bait in my mother’s garden.
Uncovering a many-legged creature,
Danny proudly dangled it before his mother.
“No, honey, he won’t do for bait,” his mother
said. “He’s not an earthworm.”
“He’s not?” Danny asked, his eyes wide.
“What planet is he from?”
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4711 Highway 90 East • Marianna, FL
(Between Burger King & Big Lots)
True grits, more grits,
ish grits, and collards.
Life is good where grits
are swallered.
Pho Noodle & Kaboodle
850-547-1907
Dine-in & Take-out
2005 S. Waukesha St. • Bonifay
Monday-Saturday 10:30a.m.-9p.m. • Closed Tuesday
Sunday 11a.m.-5:30p.m.
HOT BAR OPEN FOR LUNCH!
Thursday, Friday & Sunday •11a.m.-2p.m.
Starting at $5.75
Steak Shish Kabob, Sweet & Sour Pork Rib, Fried Wonton
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Start the new year right!
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We have Rooms
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Street Talk America
January 2015
/31
Friends for Life
By: Dr. Charlie Hinson
Friends popped in to visit us tonight....
friends we had not seen in a very long
time....and it was as if we saw them yesterday and the day before. True friends
do not forget.
Reminds me of two young men who grew up together, and though unrelated, were inseparable. If
you saw one, you saw the other. If one got in trouble,
they were in it together. If one needed something, the
other provided it. They both married and began raising a family, and life, and friendship, was wonderful.
But what they feared happened, and it came time for
them to do their military service. Before they left, they
made a very strong commitment to each other, that
they would meet again some day, and if one did not
make it, the other would take on the responsibility of
caring for the other’s family as long as they lived. The
younger one did not make it, but was killed in battle.
The older friend missed him terribly, and determined
that when he got out of the military, he would check
on his friend’s family. He got out, and remembered,
but battle fatigue and the needs of his own family took
up so much time he kept saying he would check on the
other family as soon as he could. One day, the actual
commitment he had made kept surging through his
mind, so he went looking for his friend’s family. He
found them, and knew immediately he had bitten off a
sizeable responsibility. His dead friend had a son, but
the nanny had dropped the son when he was young,
and both of his ankles were destroyed. He could not
walk and had to be carried everywhere he went. His
ankles healed, but crookedly, and he was never able to
walk.
The surviving friend had them bring the crippled
boy to his own house and said to him, “What I promised your dad, I’m going to do. From now on you will
live here with me as if you were one of my own sons.
You will eat at my table. I will provide for all your
needs. All you have to do is ask.” “Why?” asked the
boy. He replied, “Because your father was my friend,
and I made him a promise. Friends don’t break promises.”
The friend killed in action was Jonathan. The friend
who survived was King David. The kid with the broken ankles was a boy named Mephibosheth. Check
the story in 2nd Samuel, Chapter 9. You will like it.
But the question is, now that you are thinking about
it, have you made any promises you haven’t kept?
Friends keep promises.
If you haven’t missed you haven’t
been hunting long enough.
“Where you go to meet your friends.”
Serving Vernon Since 1994
(850) 638-4191
Somsri’s
Buffet
Tues. & Wed. 11a.m.-2p.m.
Thurs. & Fri. 11a.m.-2p.m. & 4:30p.m.-8p.m.
Sat. 9a.m.-2p.m.
850-535-6425
Sun. 9a.m.-5 p.m.
Hwy 79 • Vernon, FL
Waiting to Cross
A crew of highway maintenance workers was sent
to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked
down in a forested area. The irst one they put back
up was a symbol warning of a deer crossing. As they
moved down the road to repair the next sign, one crew
member looked back and spotted a deer running across
the highway. Turning to a co-worker he said,
“I wonder how long he’s been waiting to cross?”
Fishing with Mom
I took my mother on a ishing excursion yesterday.
Nobody was having any luck. After drifting for hours
without so much as a nibble, who should hook into
one but my Mom. Everyone on the boat was excited,
cheering the old woman on and telling her to take her
time. Finally she lifted the ish into the boat, picked
it up, removed the hook, looked at it up and down,
and then tossed it back into the water. I was stunned.
I said, “Mom, why did you throw that ish back into
the water?” “I don’t know. To me it just didn’t look
fresh.”
You can’t kill a big one if you’re
always skinnin’ little ones!
Bonifay Seafood Market
1007 N. Waukesha St. • Bonifay
850-547-1958
B.S.M. Crabmeat Stuffed Mushrooms
16 oz medium sized mushrooms
½ stick butter-melted
1 pint B.S.M. Crab Meat Stufing
½ cup shredded cheese of your choice
Preheat oven to 350° and grease a baking dish large
enough to hold the mushroom caps in a single layer.
Wash mushrooms and remove stems. Stuff B.S.M. Crab
Meat Stufing into each mushroom. Layer cheese on top of
stufing and dab with melted butter. Bake for 20 minutes
or until cheese is melted and mushrooms are done.
• Fish • Bagged Oysters
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• Snow Crab Legs
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A Dental Appliance to Treat a Medical Condition
Go from this....
to this....
Dr. Minor practices
Dental Sleep Medicine,
Oral Appliance therapy for
Sleep Apnea and Snoring.
Oral Appliance herapy
One in Five Americans are afected by Sleep Apnea. Dental Sleep Medicine
is a painless alternative to open your airway and improve your symptoms.
Sasha J. Minor, D.M.D. is a member of the American Academy of Dental Sleep Medicine.
699 2nd St. • Chipley, FL
(850) 638-4708
Street Talk America
January 2015 /33
Deliberate Worship
So many things have changed in the past year!
Excitement blooms at every turn. I look to see God in
everything—but so often I miss what He puts in front
of me. You too?
This year, I RESOLVE to look harder—stay more
focused…on HIM and less on me. The devil would
LOVE nothing more than for us to become discouraged and throw in the towel…or to at the very least,
become lethargic in our walk. But every time I become tired or weary, I see faces. (not like the movie),
but faces of children—and adults that I have encountered on our mission trips…and I know. I know without a doubt that God has a mission in mind. A work
ordained. And I AM more determined to do what He
has called me to do…
Believing and trusting goes hand in hand with one
act of love toward Jesus Christ—and it makes all the
difference in our day… it is worship. It takes a deliberate action to stay focused —it won’t happen by
itself. There are a million things vying for our attention. Start simple. Start by looking at your surroundings. If you are like me—you have much to be thankful for—as do I. We have food, a comfortable bed,
healthy family. Even when sickness does strike-and it
does to everyone at some point—I have a Redeemer. I
have a Healer….and, no matter the outcome, I have a
hope.
I tell Him how magniicent His creation is. I marvel
at the sculpting of the mountains when I visit there. I
smile at the ocean waves as they roll in and out from
the shore. The things that God has created, take my
heart to a place of worship when I stop long enough to
realize—He did this for our enjoyment!
Every star—every color of the rainbow—it is for
us. ALL for us! He certainly didn’t need it--I mean
look at the details of His Kingdom in Heaven! But He
has created this place for US—to enjoy!
In the bustling busyness of our days—take time to
worship Him. You will be amazed at the difference it
will make in your day. Abraham did.
Genesis 12:8 with underlined note by Oswald Chambers, my favorite devotional writer.
“And he moved from there to the mountain east of
Bethel, and he pitched his tent with Bethel on the west
and Ai on the east; there he built an altar to the LORD
and called on the name of the LORD.” (NKJV)
With Bethel as the symbol of communion with
God and Ai the way of the world---Abraham pitched
his tent between the two…. I like to think, with his
face set toward God and his back on the world. He
carried on the traditions that had been set before him.
Worship and offerings to God.
I read a book years ago called “The Prodigal
Daughter”, by Grace Livingston Hill. In the book,
the mom and dad, returned to the ways of their own
parents after having to deal with many family disturbances brought about by leaving God completely out
of their day-to-day living. They neglected worship.
They put God on the back burner, and “things” on the
front.
Every evening they had their children sit down after
dinner in the living room and the father read to the
family from the Bible. They returned to the ways of
Before, During & After...
We’ll be there in your time of need with the
experience and compassion you deserve.
Serving the families in Chipley and the surrounding area since 1966.
Brown Funeral Home
Don Brown, Owner, LFD
Jimmy Sasser, LFD
Ryan Brown, LFD
34/
1068 Main Street • Chipley (850) 638-4010
www.brownfh.net
worshipping God. I won’t spoil the book for you— if
you love to read, it’s a good one!
Deliberate worship. Daily worship. From the sincere
heart, is an offering of sweet incense to the Father!
Sometimes when I’m driving it begins with a simple
word. Hallelujah! Over and over I may say it out loud!
AND with much feeling---and when I do---when I put
my whole heart and soul into expressing my gratitude
to Him----He FLOODS my heart and soul right back
with a washing with tears and a cleansing and readying for my day...the day He blessed me with.
When I am deliberate about my worship, it makes all
the difference in my day.
Join me? You sing your song to Him, I’ll sing mine.
He will love them both!!
Focus Forward Ministries, Inc.
(focusforwardministries.com)
© Angie Knight 2015. The Knightly News.
All rights reserved. Used by permission.
caught about half a dozen ish! How do you do it?”
The boy responded, “Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm.”
“What was that?” the old man asked. Again the boy
responded, “Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm.”
“Look,” said the old man, “I can’t understand a word
you are saying.” So, the boy spit into his hand and
said, “You have to keep the worms warm!”
HAMILTON’S
Purina Mills
GENERAL STORE
Deli open
7 days a
week!
Serving Lunch
& Breakfast
•Groceries •Feed •Fuel
•Country Cooking
850-263-2294 • Diesel (On & Off Road)
Jeff & Jessica Hamilton
3725 Hwy 2 Graceville, FL 32440
How He Does It
It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked
out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped
in his ishing line and began waiting for a ish to bite.
He was there for almost an hour without even a nibble
when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole
in the ice not to far from the old man and dropped
in his ishing line. It only took about a minute and
WHAM! a Largemouth Bass hit his hook and the boy
pulled in the ish. The old man couldn’t believe it, but
igured it was just luck. The boy dropped in his line
and again within just a few minutes pulled in another
one. This went on and on until inally the old man
couldn’t take it any more since he hadn’t caught a
thing all this time. He went to the boy and said, “Son,
I’ve been here for over an hour without even a nibble.
You have been here only a few minutes and have
Serving the Panhandle since 1988
STAR FIRE
EXTINGUISHER INC.
Sean Collins
Owner
850-526-1002
starireext@yahoo.com
4206 Kelson Ave.
Marianna, FL 32446
814 Falling Waters Rd.
Chipley, FL
(850) 638-4191
Street Talk America
January 2015
/35
Perfect Pool Supplies
You’ve฀had฀the฀rest,฀now฀try฀the฀best!
• Swimming Pool Supplies
• Monthly Cleaning Services
• Liners
• Replacement & Repairs
• Pool Salt $6.99
• FREE WATER TESTING
122 S. Waukesha St. • Bonifay
Mon-Fri฀9am-5pm฀Sat฀8am-12pm
850-547-2626
Portable Sawmill
Thin kirf bandmill can saw your trees into lumber.
ON YOUR from all type • Cypre
y
Olen Barfield 638-7105
George’s Glass Tinting
Glass Tinting for your
Oice, Home & Auto
Call us for a quote!
850-482-6542
S. Jefferson St. • Marianna FL
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Street Talk Announcements
Free announcements for Church and Non-Proit
Organizations. Announcements must be mailed to
STA P.O. Box 170 Vernon, FL 32462 or email to
streettalkamerica@live.com.
-Would you like to know God? Would you like to be one
of God’s children? If so, come join us at Grace Lutheran
Church on Sunday 8:15a.m. On hwy 90 1 1/4 mile east of
Bonifay. Let the Lord touch you with His love.
-Marianna’s Gathering Place Foundation is holding a
monthly meeting for senior singles on the last Friday of
every month at 6p.m. at Eastside Baptist church Hwy 90E.
in Marianna. Speakers, entertainment and lots of fun. Call
Lilia for more info.850-272-6611
-Free Health Clinic for the uninsured. 203 W. Iowa Ave.
Bonifay, FL. Open on the 1st and 3rd Saturdays of each
month. For more info call 850-510-3779
-Alford Community Health Clinic 1770 Caroline St.
Alford, FL. 2nd & 4th Saturdays starting @ 10a.m. For
more info call 850-272-0101
-Graceville Free Medical Clinic 5470 College Suite 2
Graceville, FL. 3rd & 5th Saturdays starting @ 10a.m. For
more info call 850-263-6912 or 850-272-0101
-The Home Extension Club (HCE) would like to invite you to
a luncheon and meeting at the Hinson Crossroads Fire Department in Vernon FL. Come and join us on the third Tuesday of
every month at 10a.m.. For more info call 850-547-3879
Planting Tips for January
Sponsored by
Harris Farm Supply
3302 Creek Rd. • Vernon 850-535-4128
Best Days for Above Ground Planting:
1, 20, 23-24, 27-28, 31
Best Days for Root Crop:
4, 5, 11-15, 19
Best Fishin’ Days: 4-5, 23-24, 31
On the VERGE with BIRGE
Thoughts, puns & fun by robert Birge
• I never sign anything until I pretend to read it irst.
• Mustaches: 1. Like them or not? 2. Should you
refuse to go out on a date with someone just because
she has one?
• Ever been in the middle of writing a really great post
on facebook and think, did I just run someone over?
• Whoever is bringing me the three dozen donuts each
morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on
my desk and not in the break room?
• It’s a recipe for disaster when your country has an
obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
• Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th
ATM I’ve been to today that’s had “insuficient
funds”.
• The best way to a woman’s heart is by saying three
words - You lost weight.
• Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science.
Sneaking into your neighbor’s yard to cut it down is an
art.
• I know it’s “cool” to make fun of celebrities, but the
Justin Bieber jokes need to stop. That’s somebody’s
daughter.
Take your kids huntin’ and you
won’t have to go huntin’ for your kids.
HORIZON
HEALTH CARE
• Diabetic Products
es • C-PAPs • Diabetic
Products
• Hospital Beds
& Supplies
l • Oxygen Equipment
• Hospital
Beds
• Walkers,
Canes & Crutches
& Supplies
• Mastectomy
Fittings
(850) 638-4191
1357 Brickyard Road • Chipley, FL
• Oxygen
850-638-4719
Equipment
Street Talk America
January 2015
/37
Papa Shu’s
Movie Review
By: Timothy Shumaker
Children’s Minister
The Penguins of Madagascar
& The Hobbit 3
Spoiler Alert! If you do not want to know how this movie ends
please stop reading. Movie plots will be revealed!
Tis the season for the winter blockbuster! This is a
great time of year to start a family tradition of spending time together at the movies. I wanted to encourage parents to take the time to consider what is being watched by their kids and discuss the content of
movies, music, and media because of the great inluence that these things have upon your child’s spiritual development. That which has been seen cannot
be unseen. Movies have an enormous impact on our
culture and, therefore, they impact our kids in a signiicant way. This is why I decided to review a couple
of movies from both ends of the spectrum, a cartoon
franchise and the conclusion of an action-packed, epic
trilogy. I enjoyed both of these movies but there are
some concerns to address in both ilms.
First of all, in “The Penguins of Madagascar” the
hilarious penguins inally get their own story which
turns out to be more of a “super-spy” lick which is as
zany as one might have imagined it would turn out.
This movie starts with the origins of Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and Private. The Penguins make their way
around the world in wingless pursuit of an old enemy.
The vengeful octopus by the name of Dr. Octavius
Vernon Family Health Center
3027 Main Street Vernon
Since 2000
850-535-0703
Happy
New Year!
• Illness & Injury • Vaccines
• DOT, School & Sport Physicals
• Well Child • Weight Management
• Flu Shots & more
Dr. Dawn Frost, DNP, ARNP-BC
21 Years of Military Service
38/
God Bless
America!
Walk-Ins Welcome
Appointments Available
Brine has come up with a scheme to threaten penguins
everywhere. He plans to corral the world’s penguin
populace and steal away their cuteness. The penguins
team up with a squad of super-spy-tech animals known
as the North Wind to defeat Dr. Brine. This movie is
full of one-liners and sight gags that cause the audience to giggle throughout the ilm. Among the laughs
there is a message of sacriice and friendship, but there
are also an untold number of adult innuendoes which
might cause parents to have some uncomfortable adult
conversations with their children. Cross-dressing and
male-on- male lip-locking might make the viewer
wonder about the ilm-makers intentions.
The second ilm is the inal installment of “The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies” which brings to
an end Peter Jackson’s Middle Earth saga. Personally,
I loved this movie because I am a fan of the author,
J.R.R. Tolkien. But this ilm is arguably one of the
more violent ilms in this series. It is much more violent than any the other Lord of the Rings movies. The
death of the great dragon, Smaug, should have been a
time of celebration. Instead, it draws armies from all
around Middle Earth motivated by greed and lust for
the dragon’s gold. The hobbit, Bilbo, and his dwarf
friends become disheartened as the “dragon sickness”
of greed overtakes their king, Thorin, who has seized
the fortune, and having been seized by its seductive
allure, Thorin has no intention of sharing any of it. He
vows, “By my life, I will not part with a single coin,
not one piece of it.” This echoes Smaug’s own declaration before the dragon perished.
In Matthew 6:21, Jesus says, “Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.”
Perhaps no movie more forcefully illustrates that perilous correlation than this ilm. It is unfortunate that the
director, Peter Jackson, seems obsessed with beheadings and the violence of war. Other than the extreme
violence, this ilm brings a remarkable end to a noble
tale of the triumph of light and goodness over the
darkness and evil. This series is full of spiritual lessons and demonstrates the cost of the struggle between
good and evil forces. This struggle is precisely why
parents today must take the time to impress the virtues
of God and living a life for Christ upon their children,
because they live in a dark world desperately in need
of light.
Blessings,
Papa Shu
To Save or Not to Save
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman
lailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the
man screamed for help. A trout isherman ran up. The
man said, “My wife is drowning and I can’t swim.
Please save her. I’ll give you a hundred dollars.”
The isherman dove into the water. In ten powerful
strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around
her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet
of the man, the isherman said, “Okay, where’s my
hundred dollars?” The man said, “Look, when I saw
her going down for the third time, I thought it was my
wife. But this is my mother-in-law.” The isherman
reached into his pocket and said, “Just my luck. How
much do I owe you?”
Going to Go Fishing
A young boy arrived to Sunday School class late.
His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt
and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied
no, that he was going ishing but his dad told him that
he needed to go to church instead. The teacher was
very impressed and asked the boy if his father had
explained to him why it was more important to go to
church than to go ishing. To which the boy replied,
“Yes he did. My dad said that he didn’t have enough
bait for both of us.”
Bonifay
Bargains
409 Depot St. • Bonifay
(next to Post Ofice)
850-624-0272
A Variety of
Vintage, Modern
& Whimsical
Thursday-Friday 8a.m.-7p.m.
Saturday 8a.m.-5p.m.
(850) 638-4191
We interrupt this marriage
to bring you hunting season.
Jim’s
BUFFET & GRILL
850-526-2366 or 850-482-3003
4329 Lafayette St. Marianna, FL (Hwy 90)
Best Meal Value in Town!
Monday to hursday 4-8p.m.
Buy 1 dinner bufet and get a second at 1/2 price
(with the purchase of drinks)
65 Items on Buffet Daily
Including Peach Cobbler &
Soft Serve Ice Cream Cones
Menu Items Available
Ribeye Steak Special for Two
Fried Oysters, Catish & Mullet Platers
10% Senior Discount
Kids Eat Free on Tuesday
(1 per paying adult)
Hours of Operation: Monday - Sunday 10a.m.- 8p.m.
Maria Andromidas-Owner
Private function rooms accommodating
40 to 100 guests. Available year round.
Street Talk America
January 2015 /39
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