a seven-week bein adam l`chaveiro halacha curriculum

part of the bais havaad choshen mishpat community kollel initiative
a seven-week
bein adam
l’chaveiro
halacha
curriculum
To Start a Chaburah in your areaemail Sefira@BaisHaVaad.com
Bais HaVaad Institute of Talmudic Law
. Choshen Mishpat Consulatation Line . Halachic Mediation & Arbitration
. Partnership Structure & Dissolution . Contract & Iska: Draft & Review
. Halachic Wills & Estate . Shiurim & Publications
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2
The Sefiras Ha’Omer - Bein Adom L’Chaveiro Halacha Series
T
The Halachos of Interpersonal Relationships
he days of Sefiras Ha’Omer are days where we concentrate on perfecting our Bein Adam L’Chaveiro- our interpersonal relationships. We memorialize the twenty four thousand Torah scholars, all disciples of the great Rebbe Akiva whose lives were taken
during this period. Our sages tell us that the reason for this harsh decree was due to an imperfection in the manner that they honored their
fellow colleagues. At Har Sinai the Jewish people stood united “like one man with one heart” anticipating the eternal gift Hashem was to
bestow upon them. Our great sages tell us that the weeks leading up to the special day of Shavuos, the day of the reenactment of Kabbalas
HaTorah, should be spent immersed in Torah study, as well as working to perfect our interpersonal relationships.
It is with this in mind that Bais HaVaad has developed this unique nation-wide learning program.
Enclosed please find seven topic of study. It is obvious that there is a lot more to each of these subjects than meets the surface. Our goal is
to create an awareness about these subject matters in order to give the participant a basic idea of each topic being discussed. In addition,
Bais HaVaad will be offering communities follow-up course material to be continued throughout the year.
Dayanim of The Bais HaVaad will be available through the Bais HaVaad office (ex. 309) every Sunday during the course of the program, for
participants to call in their specific questions or comments regarding the source material. One can submit email questions or comments at
any time via email to sefira@BaisHaVaad.com and a Dayan will contact you to clarify your submission.
As always, Dayanim of the Bais HaVaad are available for all your Choshen Mishpat questions and service needs at: 1.888.485.VAAD
(8223).
Much time and effort was invested in the creation of this program. We acknowlege the participation of the following individuals for their
active participation in the production of the materials for this project. We would like to thank Dayan Yitzchok Basser, Dayan Pinchos
Fuhrer, Dayan Yosef Greenwald, Dayan Yehoshua Grunwald, and Dayan Yehonassan Dovid Hool for the delivery of the audio shiurim as
well as the compilation of the resource material for the study program. In addition, we would like to thank Rabbi Ari Enkin and Moshe
Teitelbaum for their tireless efforts in the editing and proofreading of this publication. May their efforts be a zechus for their continued
Hatzlacha and well-being, Ad Meah V’Esrim Shana.
Bais HaVaad welcomes you and your community to this nationwide initiative, and hopes that it will enhance your business and personal
life and help Klal Yisroel remain a shining light amongst the nations.
Rav Dovid Grossman
Bais HaVaad L’Inyonei Mishpat
1.888.485.VAAD (8223)
www.BaisHaVaad.com
Sefira@BaisHaVaad.com
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3
E
Lo Sachmod- Thou Shalt Not Covet
veryone knows that the last of the Ten Commandments is “Lo Sachmod – You shall not covet your fellow man’s house… his wife,
his servant, his maidservant, his ox, his ass and everything that your fellow man has.”
The second time that the Torah relates the Ten Commandments (in Parshas Va’eschanan) the Torah uses a different expression, “Lo
siss’aveh.”
There are various opinions in Chazal as to what are the parameters of these two prohibitions.
The classic commentators on the Torah (Ibn Ezra, Sforno, Rabbenu Bachye, Beis Halevi) interpret the prohibition of Lo Sachmod to be the
desiring of an item that belongs to someone else. According to this understanding, it is forbidden even to desire to own any item that is in
the possession of someone else.
As such, the commentaries grapple with a difficult question. Although it is understandable for the Torah to instruct a person as to what to
do or not do, how can the Torah instruct a person as to what to think? Surely a person’s thoughts are beyond his control! How can one be
commanded to not even desire someone else’s property?
Ibn Ezra answers by pointing out that no-one ever wants to marry his own mother, even if she is beautiful. The reason for this is because
one is conditioned from an early age that it is not possible to marry one’s mother – and so the thought never occurs and the desire is nonexistent. Similarly, a simple peasant never desires to marry the king’s daughter, however attractive she may be, because he knows that there
is no way that such a marriage would ever take place; furthermore, even if it were ever to happen, the huge disparity in background and
upbringing would ensure that it would quickly end disastrously.
A person must realize that property owned by another is intrinsically not his. Moreover, if he were to have it, it would not be to his advantage – which is why Hashem has given it to someone else. Such deep-seated faith in Hashem’s providence will automatically negate any
coveting of another’s property or situation, for the impossible – owning something destined by Heaven for someone else – does not come
in to question.
In Halachah, though, the Poskim regard the prohibition of Lo Sachmod in a completely different light.
Some say that one transgresses Lo Sachmod only if one takes someone else’s property without permission and does not pay for it. (As such
one transgresses the prohibition of Lo Sachmod as well as the prohibition of stealing.)
Others rule that Lo Sachmod refers to the actual action of persuading the owner to sell you his property when he doesn’t really want to.
(According to this view, the prohibition of Lo siss’aveh is actually a separate injunction, forbidding one to even think about how one might
persuade the owner to sell his property.)
In the following discussion we will look closely at the Halachic parameters of Lo Sachmod. But it should be borne in mind that the underlying principle of this mitzvah is Emunah – faith in Hashem Who apportions to each and every person what is intended for him, and a
realization that what belongs to his fellow man will not – nay, cannot bring him any happiness. Internalizing this message and strengthening one’s Emunah will ensure that one will observe this fundamental mitzvah fully yet effortlessly.
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4
Lo Sachmod
The Aseres HaDibros – The Ten Commandments appear twice in the Torah. The first time is in
Parshas Yisro and then again in Parshas Va’eschanan. Although the two appearances of the Ten
‫שמות כ’ י”ד‬
Commandments are virtually identical, there are, however, some subtle differences between
them. One of these differences is that in Parshas Yisro the Ten Commandments conclude with lo
sachmod (“You shall
‫ספר המצות להרמב”ם ל”ת רס”ה ורס”ו‬
not covet”) while in
‫דברים ה’ י”ח‬
Parshas Va’eschanan the
prohibition of lo sisaveh
(“You shall not desire”)
is added to this final
commandment.
The Rambam explains that although lo sachmod and lo sisaveh
are nearly identical prohibitions, they are actually independent of
one another. He writes that the commandment of lo sachmod is
a prohibition against desiring another person’s possessions to the
extent where one actually pursues the acquisition of that item and
subsequently acquires it. Therefore, one may not coerce someone
into selling an item that one desires if the owner is not truly interested in parting with it. The commandment of lo sisaveh, however,
is simply a prohibition against desiring another person’s possessions
even if one makes no attempt to acquire them.
The Semag, however, explains the two verses differently. He rules
that lo sachmod and lo sisaveh are to be considered a single mitzva.
He argues that both lo sachmod and lo sisaveh are prohibitions
against desiring another person’s possessions and attempting to
acquire them. The Melamed Leho’il agrees with the Semag and
notes that if the Rambam is correct that lo sachmod and lo sisaveh
are independent commandments, then there would be “Eleven
Commandments” and not “Ten
‫סמ”ג ל”ת קנ”ח‬
Commandments”! This is difficult
to accept as according to tradition
only “Ten Commandments” were
given at Mount Sinai. Therefore,
although the position of the Rambam is certainly legitimate, the position of the Semag is compelling.
(Source continues on next page)
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5
The Shulchan Aruch adopts the view of
the Rambam and rules that lo sachmod
and lo sisaveh are two independent prohibitions. As such, one violates the prohibition of lo sachmod by desiring another
person’s possessions and then succeeding
in acquiring them. Lo sisaveh, on the
other hand, is applicable even where one
does not actually acquire the desired
item. However, from the Shulchan
Aruch’s interpretation of the Rambam’s
words it is clear that one only violates the
prohibition of lo sisaveh if one contemplated and actually planned as to how he might persuade the owner to
sell it to him.
‫סמ”ג ל”ת קנ”ח‬
(Continued)
’‫מלמד להועיל ח”ג סי’ ק‬
‫שו”ע חו”מ סי שנ”ט סעיפים י’ – י”ב‬
There is an additional opinion which is not codified as Halacha but should be implemented as preferred practice. The Chinuch and Ibn Ezra imply that the prohibition
of lo sisaveh includes even the mere desire of another person’s possessions. One is
therefore in violation of lo sisaveh where he does not even contemplate the pursuit
of acquiring the item. The Chinuch teaches that although one might think that it is
not possible for a person to control his desires to such an extent, it is evident from this
commandment that it is indeed possible to do so if one makes a concerted effort. The
Aruch Hashulchan explains that although according to Shulchan Aruch one doesn’t
violate lo sisaveh by merely desiring, nevertheless it is middas chassidus not to desire
something which isn’t yours.
‫חינוך מצוה תט”ז‬
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’‫ערוך השלחן סי’ שנ”ט אות ח‬
A clear difference between these views is one of the more common and outright
scenarios of simple jealousy. Very often a person will sense a feeling of jealousy
when he sees his friend’s new watch. More often than not he does not loath this
actual timepiece. He likes this watch but he would be more than happy to purchase
the identical watch from the jeweler. Likely, he does not even want this actual
watch as it is a used item. Is this a violation of lo sisaveh?
This would depend on the understanding of lo sisave.
According to most opinions an individual is only in
violation if he desires his friend’s actual item. However
the Chinuch and Ibn Ezra seem to imply that they have
an understanding that even coveting the friend’s
item type is prohibited.
‫ר’ אברהם בן הרמב”ם פ’ יתרו‬
‫פלא יועץ ערך חמדה‬
Paying for the desired item
The abovementioned opinions all seem to infer
that the sins involving coveting apply even if the
individual pays the previous owner for the desired item. There is, however, another opinion which maintains that in the event where one pays
for the acquisition of the item the basic issur of Lo Sachmod does not apply.
In-Depth Analysis
The Gemara states that one who coerced another person into selling an item is not disqualified from taking an oath. Normally, one would assume that anyone that will transgress the prohibition of lo sachmod for financial gain will assumingly lie for financial gain as well, if necessary.
Therefore his oath should be considered invalid. The Gemara explains that although what he did was wrong we do not assume that he will
also swear falsely. This is because most people are under the impression that one only violates the prohibition of lo sachmod if one acquires a
desired item without paying for it. This, of course, is untrue. One is in violation of lo sachmod if one coerced the owner to sell the item even if
one did indeed pay for it. However, since this individual believes that he did nothing wrong because he paid for the item, we therefore have no
reason to suspect that he would knowingly violate the severe prohibition of swearing falsely.
The Gemara states that originally the sages would accept testimony from a band of thugs
known as “chamasnim”. This is because although they were thugs they would ultimately
:‫מס’ בבא מציעא דף ה‬
pay for anything they seized. Tosfos asks an obvious question: What difference does it
make that they would pay for what they seized? They are in clear violation of lo sachmod!
Tosfos offers two possible answers to this question. His first answer is that there is indeed
an opinion that there is no violation of lo sachmod if one pays for the items one coerces
someone into selling. Alternatively, he suggests that these “chamasnim” don’t simply seize
the items they desire, but rather, they first convince the owner to sell it to them, thereby
evading the prohibition of lo sachmod.
:‫מס’ סנהדרין דף כה‬
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‫תוס’ שם ד”ה מעיקרא‬
Among the more recent authorities, we see that the Sema rules like the
second opinion cited in Tosfos while the Be’er Heitev rules like the first.
‫סמ”ע סי’ שנ”ט ס”ק י”ד‬
‫באר היטיב ס”ק ו‬
‫שו”ת בצל החכמה ח”ג סי’ מ”ג‬
What is called “Coercion”?
Although we have learned that one may not covet an item and take steps in
pursuit of acquiring the item, this does not mean that it is forbidden to ask
someone whether he would be interested in selling his house or car.
The B’tzel Hachochma explains that the prohibition is only to convince
someone to sell something that they otherwise wouldn’t sell. However, it
is permitted to simply ask someone if they would be interested in selling a
certain item. The B’tzel Hachochma adds that one should not ask someone
to sell an item more than twice, otherwise one may indeed be in violation
of “convincing” the person to sell the item.
There are even situations where one should not inquire about purchasing
an item at all. For example, Rabbeinu Yonah writes that an “important
person” should not ask someone to purchase an item if the owner would
feel uncomfortable or unable to refuse.
‫שערי תשובה שער ג’ אות מ”ג‬
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‫ספר שמירת הלשון בסוף הספר‬
The Chofetz Chaim discusses a practice that was common in his day and is
unfortunately common in our times as well. Families would occasionally pressure one another to commit to a larger dowry even after an engagement was
finalized. He says that this is a violation of lo sachmod and adds that lo sachmod
applies to strangers and relatives alike.
The Sefer Chareidim says that even offering someone a large amount of money
and basically giving him an “offer he cannot refuse” is a violation of lo sachmod if
that person isn’t truly interested in selling the item.
‫ה‬-‫ספר חרדים מצות ל”ת התלויים בלב אותיות ב‬
Rabbeinu Yonah writes that
lo sachmod also forbids one
to cause men and women to
desire one another. This applies to the manner in which
one dresses, the manner one
conducts oneself, as well as the
manner in which one speaks
to members of the opposite
gender.
‫ספר היראה לרבינו יונה אות רנ”ד וביאור של ר’ בנימן זילבר שליט”א‬
It is worth noting that Targum
Yonoson writes that the consequence of one who transgresses lo sachmod is that the
government will requisition
the transgressor’s property, the
rich will become poor, and exile is decreed upon the world.
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Under the Leadership of:
Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky Shlita
Harav Zalman Nechemia Goldberg Shlita
Rabbi Naftali Nussbaum Shlita
Harav Mendel Shafran Shlita
Harav Asher Zelig Weiss Shlita
Under the Direction of:
Harav Asher Fleg Shlita
Harav Yosef Fleishman Shlita
Harav Shmuel Fuerst Shlita
Harav Yissocher Dov Kahan Shlita
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Harav Yosef Zimbal Shlita
Rosh Bais HaVaad:
Rav Dovid Grossman
Bais HaVaad Yerushalayim:
Rav Yehonoson Hool
Rav Yosef Greenwald
Kollel Choshen Mishpat Zichron Gershon:
Rav Dovid Grossman- Rosh Kollel
Even Ha’Ezer Division:
Harav Chanoch Saltz
Dayanim:
Rav Yitzchok Basser
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Rav Dovid Grossman
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‫בית הוועד לעניני משפט‬
Bais HaVaad
Institute of Talmudic Law
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