LEGALLY BLONDE – The Musical PAULETTE SIDES SIDE 1 of 3
Transcription
LEGALLY BLONDE – The Musical PAULETTE SIDES SIDE 1 of 3
LEGALLY BLONDE – The Musical PAULETTE SIDES SIDE 1 of 3 ACT ONE, SCENE SEVEN ELLE sits in the salon chair. START PAULETTE Hey there! Welcome to the Hair Affair. You’re with Paulette so you’re in good hands. I’m sorta like Allstate, but for hair. ELLE Make me a brunette. PAULETTE What? Brunette? Honey, (gestures to her hair) you’re a genetic lotto win! Alright, something else is goin’ on here. Back up. Paulette’s listenin’. Spill. ELLE Okay. I’m Elle Woods, and I came all the way out for Harvard Law School – PAULETTE That’s a good school! ELLE I know, right? And, I did it to follow my one true love Warner out here and now he’s… (gagging) he’s dating this evil preppie. PAULETTE So what’s she got that you don’t got? Three tits? ELLE She’s (air quotes) “serious.” PAULETTE Seriously, she have three tits? ELLE No, she’s a constipated polo shirt with a mousy brown bob. Apparently that’s what Warner wants. So, you have to make me a brunette. LEGALLY BLONDE – The Musical PAULETTE SIDES SIDE 2 of 3 ACT ONE, SCENE NINE A DUMPY TRAILER has appeared, ELLE turns and POUNDS on the door with PAULETTE and EMMETT by her side. ELLE START Paulette, are you ready? PAULETTE I don’t know, Elle. Dewey scares the crap outta me. ELLE And that’s okay. Channel that fear and tell yourself you are a strong, independent woman. You MUST be reunited with your dog. EMMETT Anyone who bakes their dog a birthday cake deserves nothing less. PAULETTE (displays cake) It IS shaped like a bone. ELLE And that kind of devotion cannot be ignored. PAULETTE It’s not easy to find dog-friendly chocolate substitutes. ELLE resumes POUNDING on the door. Meet DEWEY. He sees PAULETTE, yells out the window: DEWEY (O.S.) Crap, not you again! Paulette, get your fat ass offa my property! PAULETTE I wanna see my dog, Dewey! I gotta right! I bet you didn't even know it's his birthday today. DEWEY holds up RUFUS’ paw through the window and waves it. DEWEY LEGALLY BLONDE – The Musical PAULETTE SIDES SIDE 2 of 3 (taunting, sings) It's your birthday, it's your birthday... Well, you can't see him, Jelly Gut! Best decision I ever made? Throwin’ you out! PAULETTE'S breaking down. PAULETTE Can you believe I lived with that for 10 years? That cheap-skate never even got me a ring! STOP LEGALLY BLONDE – The Musical PAULETTE SIDES SIDE 3 of 3 ACT TWO, SCENE THREE ...THE HAIR AFFAIR. Where ELLE gets a manicure from PAULETTE. START PAULETTE There. Now you’re ready for your big trial. You sure you don’t want me to paint little gavels on ‘em for ya? ELLE It’s okay, Paulette. That might be a bit too much. PAULETTE Classy lawyer pink it is. When the jury people see those nails, they’ll know they can trust ya. ELLE Which is more than my team is doing. They’re all over me to give up Brooke’s alibi. PAULETTE Including your (does air quotes) “friend” Emmett? ELLE Well… he IS on the team too… PAULETTE Yeah, in more ways than one. I see the way he looks atcha. ELLE Paulette, he’s just my friend. PAULETTE Right. And I could use a friend like that. PAULETTE suddenly sees KYLE and is instantly mute. KYLE I’ve got a package. For Miss Paulette Buonufonte. PAULETTE goes limp at the sight of him, but manages to raise a weak hand. Her hand remains in the air as KYLE approaches. LEGALLY BLONDE – The Musical PAULETTE SIDES SIDE 3 of 3 KYLE (CONT.) The name’s Kyle. This is my new route and the first stop of the day. Kinda cool karma, huh? ELLE takes over, grabs PAULETTE’s hand, puts a pen in it and forces her to sign. KYLE (CONT.) Alrighty, then. (KYLE’s theme music plays as he starts to exit.) Do me a favor? You have yourself a super day. PAULETTE nods awkwardly as KYLE saunters out of the salon. PAULETTE God, the new UPS guy’s like walking porn. ELLE So talk to him already. PAULETTE Right. I can’t talk to guys like that. I’m not like you… I got nothing to offer. MUSIC CUE as PAULETTE BENDS over..picks up the package and straightens: SNAP! CHORAL MUSIC and LIGHTS reveal the GREEK CHORUS, striking a tableau of awe... MARGOT Oh my god! PILAR Did you see that? SERENA She’s got the most perfect Bend and Snap I’ve ever seen! MARGOT, SERENA, PILAR You’re a natural! Hi, Paulette! PAULETTE waves back slowly, freaked. PAULETTE I see dead people. STOP Keyboard I/Conductor 5. IRELAND (11/09: down 1/2) (1 July 2010) (16 July 2010 - mml24 - 127) 70 sail - or named "Brend an!" OFF-STAGE VOICE: Ooh.- 71 or... "Li-am!" Legally Blonde (London) 72 He can dance with-out mov-in' his— * ft) Jsi e) TACET | Bbm eU6 5fc Fm/Al? isfc +Rds,trem.Vln,K3 (Bs. pizz.) Rds, Gtr, Bs, K3: Vcl. VS. (LJH.PLAY2) H05893/802/06/M09842-UK -115- Keyboard I/Conductor 6. IRELAND (11/09: down 1/2) (1 July 2010) (16 July 2010 - mm!24 - 127) [73] Not too fast 79 80 r=-—i— met I guY this 82 81 -jf- —I bar once Legally Blonde (London) np-wpy, [* 83 J j '•j f j i And he —x 1 —j J Uke ^ ' bought me e four - teen K2: Accordion i T! P Gtr. i J 3 -J % .r 3= G /B ILJH.PLAYI \* Am J d!— —a -m . J . ! i * . . ' fr\ >K ^ xi ^ f-—-f 1 Gsus4 i * r ! ^ J i i 1 l^j'if ^ f T '-l-»r^- Arr-n w !-*- '%•; r ' r i x ^ - ~ ~ =k ENYA • 7 «• -r F fJT "AAH" Gtr.p _uJ_Jrz_ C7 SUS4 1 A * ri «r r F ? 1 J J was from = i« : j 3 i ,f b— f ?-. T^ p6 1 s- • =^ . • _," "^| rr- r f TACET J. -116 JAnd tiji' f F 1 a /A G7sus ^ 4 K3:Arco J'" the K2, K3 Utr. * till 124 f- J * J ' ten years. uj, ,' p 1 93 92 t — i 4 +Tri, Mark Tree +Tbn H05893/S02/06/M09B42-UK. ? i ' -4 [ * —J- t ' G /B ~ a _L •e f r Am Gtr. IR.H.PLAY1 ^ =f= I ?rg —I %^ ; ._.*• f And I lived wi th him •—•» J. r' ; \s^ ~^N] 91 —r"^ I Jr- '_jF/ft ^, a -si he that r 90 | * I I- re -land. ** ? iffl e Lm J Bs.f ^ f i 89 , ^N <P- *- 3 ^ 87 told (TACET | "" ^9 e) * *• 86 ! ^— w— VI hp ^ rf J ;Jr r BOTH HANDS *=^ -* _-* i ^"— i U-j +K3: Pizz. J \ p2 -J J ^—-bd And _ rT^ Gtr. j . p— i beers Vln J "* _j -J e) J C/E [IRISH HARP 1 w/Bs. Svfe 85 i 'i J J J_ *-. w/Gtr. i Keyboard 1/Conductor [94] jjt 7. IRELAND (11/09: down 1/2) (1 July 2010) (16 My 2010 - mm!24 - 127) 96 95 5 *) 97 i 98 -* j i * wed- ding? He kept on post - pon-ing. OFF-STAGE VOICE: 1 /fz—i KB ^. •^•C , 1 J ;; —, , i—"^_ Am i ; /£r~£ 1 f Till he f r ^K— r- 1 i *: C /E F2 J—- —WT 1 ^+- f• J +Tbn. ! I J -J left with •* 4 i i some , / Am J_ J. J he'd f f I J 4 ~^ ^~ Took my -r4 i J b^: —^ 5-I—1 —i—i—i— FI. C7sus4 U Jj A f' =£= bon - ing. i J J Jr. +Flg. (8va) 06. 108 107 wK «9-al «T j * sav - ings z and ! <y took 1 -J my 109 —i [ H4- (m J * Sf^Z~'B fe S 4 "*" J j J -j dop My i-j 1 ^ 5 1 - Pice, K2.: Uillean Pipes j, ,. t• • • j 1-^=M —: 3 J -£-—JL «r Gsus4 ====_—1$. +Timp rou H05893/802/06/M09842-UK f" 3, 1^=1 -117- r—nV h f" . ..f . . . . . . •!.:.. +Cym. roU Bsi (arco) w/Timp hits ^^-m 4-M"1J J1 ^LJ J J^-^ — £_ e L ' « L f i-Tbn, Hg. (8va) |- '^ r—r J^ +K2: g/ws Dm /F ^ f -«t—*—*— EH, K3: Arco & J r^'i i *L Gsus i 105 1 f— G/B 1 p ' l9^— r ^ i• . p— 104 i 1 been -i H j ..... G skank 1 =i I f— ^ f +EH F/A ~ ~J 1" 1C13 J 1— a-. fog. 1 T J^~ J =J ^=-_ J. 1 ^- =4*—j 'i r^ fJ ~!^r —i 102 •> f in a lowed him round r f' 01 I ... 4 3G/B Bs.f" (arco) wjj— • fol- Onh K3: Stgs, w/Gtr \ f +Vln. . K2: Enya "Ooo Choir" ./' «b. I ~^sP 2. ._, < —s J J I j J T^d^ •T^ U. . K3:Stgs / 100 99 =^-* StiB, ^b Legally Blonde (London) a | "" — d ^~ Keyboard I/Conductor 8. IRELAJND (11/09: down 1/2) (1 July 2010) (16 July 2010 -mm!24- 127) Legally Blonde (London1) 112 B^F—1 H grand - fa Mndln. - O f " r -f ther '*• r 1— — j just i•• flg-; E ^ ' M -« 114 rn 115 *=4= - — sto - ry he OFF-STAGE VOICE: j , • • . -» 'iy . Dm e. r me 117 116 a steered me wron?' i _£_ 1--— tsr_ £ - j Gm 1=1 told ^L^j j 3 r^ Do TK« CO,,n1 l^Q J € ^ pp-. —* =4 -p. +FIps.Tbn. ^F \* Ev J' j +G.C7Boom * shut it ' ' P I / Pice, EH, K2, K3 113 [— should - a * * m a All the f —-?... - 0 oih •»_. M /I > M I - : -—f— ' I i ' r. EEt 7 -1 : t r ^ -¥• 1:: r =4 —£ 1 * T 1 1 ti B^sus =J -118- i '-——^ * f f (Pice, out) i ^ -«j w/Tbn. (8va) H05893/S02/06/M09S42-UK +K2: "raMall gliss" down * ' Q Q fc L^^ _J -f 1 Keyboard I/Conductor 9. IRELAND (11/09: down 1/2) (1 July 2010) (16 July 2010 - mml24 -127) 119 120 121 Legally Blonde (London) 122 123 ^^ dreams that he gave me got gut-ted. All that's left is this... weird En-ya EJ£ IRJH.PLAYI E.Hn.Tbn. Fm/Al> K3:SoloArco H05893/S02/06/M09842-UK V.S. -119- Keyboard I/Conductor 10. IRELAND (11/09: down 1/2) (1 July 2010) (16 July 2010- nnn!24 -127) 125 124. Legally Blonde (London) 126 127 song.- ...But hey! OFF-STAGE VOICE: (H)ah (h)ah w/K2: Uillean Pipes, w/Picc (15ma), K3, Gtr. rfTYk fe^fe —^i j al «) :i „ .. •» L e) i ^ give up on — —i ' -d 1 i • . ~1 131 132 i—i—i—i—r-r L-J J i 1-—•*i—I--5^.. Just be —i + ° -- care - fill you . ' 1 —1 - • don't get played * f- f r -rf-fr-$: if. 1 M— •+' * • Ire -land: —1 133 1 i-J ? Vhl- n—i L-Jw—f— ' +K2 T ITACETI 130 i ^ - YOU should not K3: Hp Jf M'j S^i fi 129 I (h)ah! f- Ju D|, ^ !? Kit . 1—J ' -i J —1 lLiF-1^f x^lo ^-^ j r eW 131?^" sM ' J w/Bs (sus) [ 0 1 1> " 135 L^ 136 1f f j k —U Pice (opt. Penny Whi stle) u.\n ,H M +Mand. w/K3 (8va) A^sus4 J \ *)M? P 7^= H05S93/8017 06/M0984. f -t '— R—«—' J-i And don't j * J drink 'til you're K3 Pno L_LL-"' ^ Btm 1^^-^^= - ' r Bs,Tbn,K3, K2:Arco -120- 139 138 137 I , . . l~l i 1 < r • •-" 1— t J 1 j te3r - ing your top . J > ^ 1 — L-^ a 1—J—! I 1 And you off < - -s-6 ' ! -< i —A' p/c J J j j ^ , J -J , Dt p^ +)BH,Flug. i * j -— Keyboard I/Conductor 11. IRELAND (11/09: down 1/2) • (1 July 2010) (16 July 2010 - mml24 - 127) 140 141 j y i \>t~*i | «J »J r,. flash the Saint f*i r- ?—r ?-^ Pat -rick's Day 142 143 , Pa - ra<ie. ' t # (ifi v e) •==! Legally Blonde (London) K3:Pno |_i Poco rit. See a n frm 1 , J , —s—f j 1 m r—i r li •1 F 1 S. _- 1 i_: F 1 1 a • Al?7sus4 +Flg.2,Tbn. p i ^ ! +Tbn. ^ 145 smart girl like you has a OFF-STAGE VOICE: Ooh._ 146 147 J J'J 7 J)J 149 150 And ha?e hope, as each newdaydas?ns fii-ture. r 148 sr K3: Pontytrem. Vln -121 m 1 +11mp & Cym rolls A Hair Slower H05893/802/06/M09842-UK * \ —i ' —~*^"^— 2:Hpt -f 1—J—L—1 ^ m 1— ^_j * r _ " 1 » m 1 1 t 151 i Girls Wee • Keyboard 1/Conductor 12. IRJ2LAND (11/09: down 1/2) (1 July 2010) (16 July 2010 - nnn!24 - 127) Legally Blonde (London) Dictated In3 152 rfh^ r±"**H •»-•« you al - ways & gs vr^» ^ 153 i nii get to see t> ' K3: Arco ' _!_ Ire - land. 8- >s to the le - Bs,K3 pre - K3: Hns. 8vb 3—e 4 ? %—=^=_1—©— E. Hu. solo v^_^ (cued in K3) Tpt. 2 —l, '* Q i +Tpt. 1 ' —&-. r r ^ TT PP K2 (roU chord) oP 4 i ,— 1 j~1 ...Send my love K2 ,K3,Mand, Bs (harm.) 1 9"L ^ F^—t \A j 0 .. ^ [fighting tears, but jailing] ;== • •6 EH, Tbn (Bucket) ^± Rlt. ^t" L 'BeUTree ' r 1—e Tbn (Bass OUT ) Tri. A tempo or a little slower to 159 m chauns.- 160 161 j. 163 i j. (sobs) OFF-STAGE VOICE Ooh.Picc (opt. Penny Whistle), Vln,K3 K2, Mandolin r\ U +EH K3 K3,K2,Tbn,Dr. Dt r r ' ' € H05S93/S02/06/MQ9842-UK -122- Keyboard I/Conductor [39] Grandly - in 1 fe*) * * ' i gu y at 4. IRELAND (Reprise) 40 41 1 1 that pai - ty who A -t ,. loves you! i*" J J -4^—^ J f ™£ IPIANOI _ :" •t :• w/K2,K3,Bs. •s :• +Timp. (on 1) <fc^-n 7T h^ i &-* most Q It of S~ 1 h—— ^ * — ; f — - Mand. i f f-^l1 fltt—-f— _J f^ r j oi - > ' r ^~^ ? * ^P 1 ty i46 of. dream j> J r r r ' j^ j ^-— go 1£"~~~Jt f' T—i— —I "^**<*J T " p • — *— 1 J * JBrs. ixji [ r"""~1 f* a — •d- You -f ^ f ' -t [ : ! ' ' —* —J— r ' f ^H:cn ^ ^ f w/Bs. 49 48 50 P out there and you get some Ire - land!- J J K2, K3(8vb) i Bm f Tpts. (8ves), Tbn. Mand. * 4 G/B Bm D7sus4 K2: Chimes G i w/K2: Pno, Bs. +Drs. (Kick on 1&2) G-6960/802/07U/M09842-UK -126 - Tunp. (8va) f f 3 f T - f 1 -i^— K3 Em/A r Molto rail. - in 3 47 1 _> /R r: . I z k2: Chimes -ri Tpt. 2,ThHi. — j\ C L f 1-J L~ J J 1 1 Some - thing ' , e^ f 45 / -J0-— fr j—H -JP *) us -^r c^"~~~j G fe 44 0 ? 1 r f fen A ) 43 [ —% : J> J 1 Mand. (8vb) JO, E. Hn. (8vb), w/Tbn, K2: F.Hn. JjliL t J j=flJ I "1 42 i * „ i PiccJ f) Legally Blonde (London) The Keyboard I/Conductor 50A S.IRELAND (Reprise) In 3 Rail. whis - key Legally Blonde (London) Inl and K3,Picc.(8va IE: K2,K3,Bs. +Timp. roll w/Bs. (Trem.) SOE Dictated - in 3 In 1 +Tbn. G-6960/802/07U/M09842-UK -127- Kbd.l/Cond. 49 6. BEND AND SNAP Legally Blonde (London) s 50 -Ac—K 55—'* €-: £ rrr i w— ff £-35 ILJH.PLAYI **Hf ,_ * *— Drs. w/Gtr. (sim.) r—, * t£=H: —4 52,. PBLAR: J iv/Bs. 1 Gtr. (wah - as before) ,—f—,—.—.— a^J—i •; L.&—i• ..."t*ftuj _i -i ' V •' 1,3- 3 ^ 54 53 « *t •"«• ' j =3 Gtr. (single note funk - «n's) Hns.K3jd(cue) days I clod ye iobsand curls, but h ere is h OW Mre did it in the 1^-k er Girls! ^ ^A5 fl 3 3 j: a MARGOT: 56- Come on Paul-ette! ^ zr^^w^^^www € € € Does-n't this look fun? Works ev-'ry time! Look, IPLAYI 3 do it and we'll go a-wayD - K, 0 K, 0 K, 0 K w/Bs. t, 557 A & # ALLINSALON: sa jtV ^-^ "|^13- 59 ^ ^—*—=!! \1 Bend and A ji | ^ § 1 Bari j »y +Alto j ,,-4 j»^_ +Tbn. jj' S4 ^•^ ,Tpt.l ^>_ jj^_ +Tff -* T-03434/S02/07/M09842-UK i J Hey, wait ^ Tri.roU^ * x r^e^ LJ- ~"ga- tM- A a ^i S"1-* •y fcy|it« —»—^—aP^5!—j-^i—J-—^— J .. ITC—^ +K2 ' ?v K3 +Gtr. Uf ' B—S SN £ •*• = DAMN! Slower tempo ALLETTE: P j J j u j . J~l J ' ' ' -240- jE-k_ i I Kbd.l/Cond. 7. BEND AND SNAP IHJ Legally Blonde (London) 73 74 M J I* .fin-ger... sec -ond, when I beck - oned, Look how the boys came run-ning! Like I'm.. e ^ tU S like I'm UCK-M. K3w/Hns,Gtr. El* K3, Bs, Congas/Bongos, Drs: time 75 75 5f friek- Would is1- ^ you pay for stuff I And buy? ME ¥ICK ED Yes! STUN - NING. F5 77 •^ r r fr r E - -=F=i r F5 78 rjh*J bake me ]f cake and pie? hold And r ? !1 p=| ! n me I cry? YES! * f Yes! when Yes! •i An d * ^ J—L»-&-= ^ F=l r i^ 3 Eb5 5 ' : F5 ^^ ' J 1 ^' ' -* J«S F5 J j (play) T-03434/802/07/M09842-UK -241- Kbd.l/Cond. 8. BEND AND SNAP 79 tell you why! All the boys come to gawk a-way! I'm too rock-in' to lock_a-way! BOYS: SALON FOLKS: 1 - Lock a -way! WHY! -K2 Gawk a-way! £ E£^ IRJH.PLAYI "* ' Drs. (more junky) C7 (opt.) 84 Drop-pin' jaws from a block a - way! & PAULETTE: £ We Watch-in1 how I walk a-way!GIRLS: i Block a - way! *=*! We BOYS: We love to watch her walk aw/Sxs,K2,Gtr. Tutti ffc E7» 3 J- 1^ J. ? <J~^ft J. J. ? BsSv6 «=Jp j. G P U" +HjDibales, Snare T-03434/8B2/07/M09S42-UK -242- Kbd.l/Cond. 9. BEND AND SNAP Legally Blonde (London) (opt.) BEND...- AND SNAP! BEND.... AND SNAP! JJjjs_ N£w 87 i00k how hot it's get - in! AND SNAP! BEND...- AND SNAP! Hns. (big scoop) CowbeU *l BEND. F V 1 V Drs: Marching band funk w/Gtr. 1 Bs. w/Bs. K3, Bari, K2 s«s. p t-f r r r r F I'm bet-in right now you're sweat - in! Cowbell T-03434/802/07/M09842-UK .„. Spring the trap! Hns,K2,K3- -243- They cheer- and dap! (dap dap) Kbd.l/Cond. 10. BEND AND SNAP Legally Blonde (London) PAITTFTTP. 92 I defend I de-pend on my friend... ALL: onmy friend y?Ff LTP LJ Go Paul-ette! Go Paul-ette! Perc, Drs. (solo) K^Gte Go! Go! Go Paul-ette! Perc, Drs. S5 3 w/Bari, Tbn, Drs, Perc, K3:E.Gtr,Bs. I de-pend GIRLS: on my friend /• w/Ban,K3,Bs. T-03434/S02/07/M0984Z-UK 0 ALL: --244- a Kbd.l/Cond. 11. BEND AND SNAP Legally Blonde (London) (or Gospel style ad libs) Watch me bend...GIRLS; ! The BEND BOYS: AND SNAP! The BEND The BEND AND SNAP! AND SNAP! Gtr, Congas, Has, K3: Brass/Gtr 3 Am7 ?3lj £i Am7 IPLAY I IMARCHING BAND BRASS I 7 7hJ'{jJ J w/K3,Bs,Bari. 102 103 -*-w with my new I'm gon - na snap withstyle!- best friend.- K9- The BEND AND SNAP! The BEND tft T-03434/802/07/M09842-UK -245- AND SNAP! J ^ The BEND— AND SNAP! vlfw* Kbd.l/Cond. 12. BEND AND SNAP (do not ritard) 104 gon ™r!a*e^' „ ji'^O Jf V&5 i : ^ ' ! «J ji ^-x 1 107*^ **>~ ? PAULETTE: // me some... KYIE! 108 s \~ PAULETTE goes up to KILE and a nd performs a perfect BEND... = SNAP! j and o u t— K. ...Oh, SNAP! j ? L^j = crap. a ff \P ' ? _• ! j J a A ji # /^> (long leslie ad lib) P |jf«—: ! ^^=___ get "Doit!" Dictated 'ft11 na EUM: (whispering [GO SWELL] 106 - /^ ___=__ Hns,Rhy,K2 A _ j._«: i e) -i ii c a «_£ f — —k.? A 1 J : ^1 Ibtti ff \ =—'Sw i? ' > .. ^ | . 1 ! ' &4 * J Fast segue T-03434/802/07/M09842-UK ~ 246 — i
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