Issue3 - John Abbott College

bandersnatch
Commemorating cannibalism since 1971
Wednesday, October 6th, 2010
Volume 40, Issue 3
Club Spotlight: Pagan Club
In This Issue
The Social Network
Page 6
It is quite an astonishing feat
for writer Aaron Sorkin to have
kept some myster y in a stor y
based on true events. The script
was written in a unique fashion
that we do not ordinarily see in
other movies.
Miley Cyrus’ youth army
Page 8
I thought we had seen the
last of the Cyrus’ when Billy
Ray disappeared, but no. His
seed made its way through a
women’s body and produced
the mutant offspring known
as Miley nine months later.
It’s a shame that comedian Bill
Hicks never had the television
show that he wanted. It was
to be called “Let’s Hunt and
Kill Billy Ray Cyrus”, where
he would release the hounds
of hell to chase him all over
the globe.
Captain Gionta
Page 11
As many of you die-hard
Habs fans probably know, Brian
Gionta was named the club’s
28th captain last Wednesday.
After an off-season of speculation, the “C” went to a player
w h o s e p l ay, l e a d e r s h ip an d
determination far exceeds his
five-foot-seven reach.
Sections
Campus Life...................... 1
News .................................. 4
Arts..................................... 5
Entertainment................... 6
Opinions ............................ 8
Games................................ 10
Sports................................. 11
Jacqueline Morrissette
Contributor
Close your eyes, and imagine yourself
standing at the edge of a cliff. Picture the ocean
tide coming in, waves crashing over each other,
seagulls in the distance calling back and forth.
Maybe there are children playing on the beach
below. Maybe there is no beach or ocean and a
vast forest before you. What do you feel? What
emotions does this image bring forth? These
sensations are what we search for.
The Pagan Club is a place where one can meet
people who share similar beliefs and practices.
We have many people from many different practices and have very different traditions. The term
Paganism could be compared with Christianity.
Christianity is the term used to describe various
forms of belief to the same god. Like Christianity,
we have many forms of practice, tradition, and
belief. No one person could describe the religion
of paganism as it is so varied. Just to clarify, true
pagans do not sacrifice animals. We try to become in tune with nature and the world around
us, as nature is the one thing that should always
be respected.
Our club is a home away from home for some
of our members. Some people do not have the
liberty to practice at home. Some families reject
their child’s choice of becoming a pagan, either
due to misconceptions or their family is heavily
religious to another belief.
Our club is very organized and well-decorated, with very friendly people who are willing
to answer any questions. I’ve never felt like I’ve
belonged anywhere like I do here. The people
are amazing, fun to
talk to and informative. We have a mini
library in our club
room, stocked with
all kinds of information on the different
branches, and even
other cultures.
Our club meetings are a blast. Even
if four or five people
show up, we still have
a great time tribal
dancing, meditating, chanting, using
divination, getting
into heated discussions and many other things, but the larger the
group, the more fun we have. The meetings can
get a little boring if we are talking ‘club business,’
but that almost never happens.
We have many people from many different walks of life, and there are people who you
would see in the street and you wouldn’t stop to
think, ‘Hey, they look like they could be pagan.’
You would never guess but they all are quite
knowledgeable on various topics. We have people
who practice Witchcraft, Wicca, Shamanism,
Satanism, and many others who simply don’t
have a real path, and follow the ways and beliefs
that feel right to us.
One thing that we do in our club is ‘pagan
time,” which is for two half hours a day (one
on Fridays); we turn our attention to the club
purpose and do some pagan related activity,
whether it is meditation, discussion, chanting,
or some other activity. There are many different
activities located in the club itself and there is
always someone there to talk to. Just don’t walk in
and expect to get a tarot card reading. Not many
people in the club actually know how to read the
cards, and not many of those who do know have
had enough practice to be good at it.
The Pagan Club is also having a bake sale,
October 27 in front of the Agora Alcove. We
will have a variety of goodies that are sure to be
amazing. For those of you disappointed about the
tarot readings, be sure to come to the bake sale, as
we will have someone to read your cards there.
You may not consider yourself pagan, but
consider yourself spiritual, follow aboriginal traditions, or simply have a faith that isn’t common,
you are more than welcome to come join in the
club and its activities. Our club meetings are held
every Tuesday from 5:30 to 7:00 in HO-340.
Science building sparking controversy
Emily Brayton
Staff Writer
For 40 years, John Abbott College has provided the pleasure of learning to post-secondary
students, allowing education to flourish on the
beautiful and historic Macdonald campus.
With the 2010 fall semester in full swing, the
CEGEP is bursting at the seams with over 6000
students, while the facilities only have the capacity for 5700. John Abbott, in collaboration with
the city of Ste. Anne-de-Bellevue, attempted to
come up with a solution to the capacity issue.
The solution, in the end, was to construct an
ultra-modern science building with a budget
of $33 million.
There have been mixed responses to the
location and the building’s specificity on the
sciences, with specific branches devoted to
pharmaceutical production and ambulance
technician training. “In order to practice science, you need very modern facilities. You
actually need an up-to-date institution,” stated
Christopher Nguyen, Board of Governors student representative for Pre-University. While
Nguyen took a practical approach to the build-
ing, certain departments are feeling neglected,
and understandably so.
“It communicates that science is more
important than other disciplines,” said Maria
Mamfredis, co-coordinator of the Liberal Arts
program. “It’s a bad idea to privilege one over
another.”
Carolyn Duthie, a first-year Honors Science
student, feels differently. “Thank the Lord,” she
sighed, “Not that I’ll ever see the benefits of it, but
it’s needed.” Duthie is not the only student feeling claustrophobic; with students being placed
in the neighboring Macdonald High School, as
well as Brittain Hall, none can argue that a little
extra space is not necessary. Construction for
the Science and Health Technologies structure
will be in effect until its scheduled completion
in 2012. Until then, the same issue of space is at
hand. After its realization, renovations will begin
on adding the same state-of-the-art geothermal
heating to John Abbott’s existing campus.
Penelope Stewart, who has taught
Humanities at the college for 38 years, and who
is also a member of the renovation committee,
is very much concerned with Brittain Hall, and
disappointed that an agreement could not have
been reached between the CEGEP and McGill
for ownership and renovation. Stewart went
on to say that John Abbott’s intentions with the
Brittain construct were purely to demolish it,
which was the opposite fate that McGill wished
it to face. Her concern with the science building
is that “It looks like some crazy spaceship is going
to land in what was a beautiful area.”
Nguyen says it’s going to look out of place,
but that many institutions are modernizing. “If
you look at Concordia, their building is completely renovated and looks brand new, so it’s
only a sign of things to come.” Where the modern glass structure of this addition is concerned,
it is all a question of personal taste.
Abraham Sosnowicz, longtime professor in
the English department, is not concerned with
the new addition’s exterior or specifications:
“The building doesn’t define the institution —
the people learning and teaching do.” At such an
early stage, it is difficult to say how this construction will affect campus life, as well as the environment for students’ education. As unclear as the
future may be, it is certain that the facilities are
needed at the present time, and most likely in the
coming times. In the meantime, John Abbott’s
students will just have to push and dodge their
way around the myriad construction on campus.
Wednesday October 6th, 2010 • 1
What’s it like to live on Residence?
Sarah Tayeh
Assistant Production Manager
We all know at least one person
that lives in our school’s residence. The
Stewart Hall apartment is a mystery
filled with gossip and unclear facts for
those of us who do not live there. Down
the empty and spacious hallways of the
Stewart Hall apartments is where some
students have the luxury of being able
to wake up less than half an hour before
their class starts.
Alexandre Rioux answered some of
our questions about life on residence.
Bandersnatch: What is it like living
on residence?
Alexandre Rioux: It’s amazing because you don’t even have to take the
bus anymore, there’s no travel involved
which is convenient because you don’t
have to worry about accidents happening
on the roads or traffic. It also saves a lot
of time and if you want to do something
extracurricular in the school, you can
do it.
Bandersnatch: Is there a Guys/Girls
Policy? AR: Not that I know of, just that
a girl has to be over eighteen to stay over
with a night pass. Otherwise we sort it
out between our roommates, if there’s
a sock on the door you leave for a bit.
They’re not that strict about it.
Bandersnatch: How does living
on campus affect your social life?
AR: It depends because I have a lot of
friends that live in suburbs and I see
them slightly less now but whenever we
have breaks we go up to my residence
and hang out and now I get to see more
of a variety of people because we all
converge here. I don’t get tired of people
this way.
Bandersnatch: What about roommates do you get to choose?
AR: Yeah, I know that two of my
roommates got to choose, and you can
definitely make a list of who you would
prefer to room with. After you’ve lived
here for a year you can get a deluxe room
En Masse artists are coming to JAC
to partake in an Urban Art Jam. From
Sunday, October 24 until Tuesday,
October 26, six talented Montrealbased visual artists will collaborate
with John Abbott students to create
a large black and white mural on the
Herzberg O val. The Mural will be
about diversity created with many
styles reflecting the different artists.
Darryl Climan, the animator of the
Cultural Diversity Office, explains,
2 • Wednesday October 6th, 2010
John Abbott College
21275 Lakeshore Road
P.O. Box 2000
Sainte-Anne-de-Bellevue,
Quebec, Canada H9X 3L9
Phone: (514) 457-6610 ext. 5389
Fax:
(514) 457-6091
Office: H-041
Web:http://www.bandersnatch.ca/
E-mail:bandersnatchpaper@gmail.com
David Alexander
Editor-in-Chief
Julien Simard
Assistant Editor-in-Chief
Alexandra Lewyckyj
News Editor
Alex Callard
Campus Life Editor
Patricia Fitzgibbon
Entertainment Editor
which costs a little more, but you get
double the space.
Bandersnatch: What do you think
about the common stereotypes people have about residence (such as
being noisy, slackers, dirty, etc.)?
AR: Not all of those are untrue; since
we live here we want to make the most
out of living here and not feel like we’re
at school all the time. Of course, we do
party. As for studying, of course I study
but it can be hard sometimes because
you’re living with four people and they’re
playing music so you don’t have a lot of
time to concentrate on many things. As
for being late [to class], most of the time
people can be late because they live so
close they think that it’s okay. I think that
since living on my own I’ve become more
responsible in some ways because now I
have to do grocery shopping for myself
and other things.
Bandersnatch: What do you think
should be changed?
AR: I think that they should inspect
the place and make sure it’s clean before
someone moves in. This [door handle]
used to dangle. We also don’t have any
kind of vacuum to clean and the walls
to our garbage are disgusting. The
toilets were kind of icky. The only real
complaint is that they should check
to make sure that they clean up after
people leave.
Bandersnatch: What about events?
AR: The first week we had welcoming events and we also have gym nights
every Tuesday. On Thursday we’re going
to have “rez parties.” For those with
no classes on Friday and who stay at
Stewart, it’s like a relaxation day. As far
as events go, I find that the RA’s do a
good job of keeping us active. The pool
and gym nights are great.
After the interview, I was taking
a tour around the Stewart Hall and
noticed that the third floor had more
doors open than the other floors. It also
smelled better than the other three, including the basement. However, living
on Residence sounds like a pretty sweet
deal. No wonder there’s a waiting list.
Don’t draw on the walls... until Oct. 24
Sharon Rozen Aspler
Contributor
BANDERSNATCH
“The wall is an open canvas for whomever shows up, it is a way to tell the
John Abbott story.”
On Tuesday Oct. 5 and Wednesday
Oct. 6, En Masse program Coc o ord i n ator Kat i e Gre e n and C o creator Jason Botkin shall be available
in the Agora Alcove from 10:30 until
2:30 to meet with and sign up interested students. The number of places
is limited; students should indicate in
their application a block of time when
they are available to participate.
The Urban Art Jam is a three-day
live art event; professional artists guide
the students and will expose them to
practical tips on how to develop and
to improve skills & techniques. Jason,
one of the artists, says “Students develop social networks with the artists;
they can use the contacts to connect
w it h t he l arge r Mont re a l ar t ist i c
community.”
As the blank wall gets transformed
into a work of art, take a moment to
soak in the art and the human interaction that not only reflects but also
builds our John Abbott community.
To see En Masse work, check out
www.enmasse.info or blog.enmasse.
info
Jess Abran
Arts Editor
Tim Gale
Opinions Editor
Serag Meletian
Games and Tech Editor
Henry Park
Sports Editor
Cody Foster-Demeny
Production Manager
Sarah Tayeh
Assistant Production Manager
Julianna Astorino
Office Manager
Nevada McEniry-Hatajlo
Photography Manager
Adam Chan
Webmaster
Bandersnatch is the student-run Alternative Press at
John Abbott College. It is published every two weeks
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Commitee and by advertising solicited members.
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entrance of The Oval).
Bandersnatch Campus Life
Campus life
Your new student government representative
Chris Nguyen
Contributor
Hey everyone, this is Chris Nguyen,
your newly elected Pre-University representative on the John Abbott College Board
of Governors. In keeping this informal, I
would like to begin by thanking everyone
who cast their vote on September 21, 2010,
and extending my gratitude to those who
were unable to submit a physical ballot, but
reassured me of their vote in spirit.
Not having been previously associated
with the college on a political level, I came
to learn of the Board of Governors elections through a News & Events bulletin
on Omnivox. Initially believing that the
registration process required nothing more
than my name on a list, I quickly learned—
frighteningly close to the deadline—that in
order to even be recognized as a candidate,
I had to first complete a long form and
procure forty unique petition signatures
from John Abbott Pre-University students.
After hurrying around the college and
repeating, to forty individuals, my intentions, I was finally able to submit my application—legitimizing my candidacy. That
evening, I began designing my campaign
poster.
By mid-race, I noticed that my worthy
opponents had increased their campaigning efforts sevenfold. Seeing three, four
or even five posters for each of the other
candidates on every single bulletin board,
Hello Abbott-ers
SUJAC hopes that your semester is
coming along well! We’re already half
way through this semester…time flies
when you’re having fun at Abbott!
Firstly, we’d like to congratulate the
new Board of Governors Pre-University
student representative Christopher
Nguyen. We look forward to working
closely with him. Also, the Board of
Governors Technical student representative election is Tuesday, October
5, outside Casgrain Theatre. If you’re a
Technical student, remember to have
your voice heard!
This semester’s SUJAC Club Day,
themed “JAC’s 40th Birthday,” is taking
place on Wednesday, October 6, from
10:00 am to 3:00 pm in The Agora.
Come check out all the awesome Clubs
we have here at JAC and come help
celebrate the College’s 40th Birthday!
SUJAC-Club Day is a great time to join
a Club or student organization, if you
haven’t already done so. If you’ve always
wanted to know more about them, this
is a great chance to find out. Remember,
it’s never too late to join and share your
passions! These are the best years of
your life so make good use of them.
Also, if you can’t find a Club you like,
even in the most obscure of places, caused
me to panic: I ordered Staples to print off at
minimum another fifty, full-colour posters
for a second onset. Additionally, I took this
opportunity to rebound against some of
my opponents’ talking points, particularly
those on experience, affiliation and leadership ability. It was here, however, that my
campaign began to draw fire, both from the
administration and several candidates—
particularly those who were associated with
the Student Union.
In the eyes of the administration, what I
promulgated was “too provocative,” despite
the fact that “provocative” was exactly what
I was aiming for. Exhausting nearly an hour
discussing the issue with an administrator,
who strangely held that students were “not
taxpayers,” I promised to consider the possibility of changing my message, but never
felt truly compelled to do so. Despite being
provided a second chance, I had resolved
to resubmit the same remarks, this time
appended with a second paragraph that
would prove to be even more provocative
than the first. Evidently, I did not entertain
the fundamental shift that was requested of
me: This was my message; I saw no reason
to change it. Fortunately, the administration conceded, and the message was rightfully published.
Shortly after my second batch of posters saturated the college, some of my
opponents, who appeared allied along a
common front, noticed my invasion of
Facebook (we issued roughly 1,000 pri-
vate guest invitations to the
event, also publishing dozens
of profile statuses regarding
the election). I began receiving harsh criticism from
other camps and their aides.
Manifestly, they were unhappy
with my message, alleging that
my campaign somehow denigrated SUJAC—an institution
of which they were all a part.
This, however, I observed,
while not only being largely
unfounded, would also place
my co-runners on the defensive in terms of the race.
Although it was suggested
to me that I should consider
apologizing to those who may
have been disgruntled by my
“zealous” style, I would like
to make it clear that I will not
be issuing any kind of apology for the way my campaign
was conducted. Although I
believe it to be highly unfortunate that
certain candidates felt threatened by my
campaign, I do not see this as sufficient
enough a condition for appeasement or
apology. At present, I maintain a good
relationship with SUJAC, and remain
highly respectful of it and its members. I
remain in frequent correspondence with
the Union regarding issues presented at
the Board of Governors, and see SUJAC as
a valuable component of our democracy,
despite having little desire to become a
member myself.
If this year’s elections were any indication, JAC is home to a breed of very dedicated and concerned students. That said, I
sincerely hope that you will be inspired to
run for this post as well. It is our duty as
students to be concerned with the way our
education unfolds. Board of Governors is
a once in a lifetime opportunity; seize it.
you can always start one by coming to
see us in the SUJAC Office P-101 or by
going to Student Activities in H-159.
SUJAC Club Day is also a great time
to find out how you can get involved
in SUJAC. Congress Nominations are
now re-opened and at the SUJAC Club
Day you can meet some of the current
student reps and find out more about
becoming a Congress member when
you pick up your Form (10 to 3 in The
Agora). There’s going to be a HUGE
Birthday Cake at 12:45 pm so you can
sample some at the same time you are
checking out getting involved!
As you have probably already seen,
the construction of the new Athletic
Field is well underway. Once completed,
it will have an Athletic Field with artificial turf instead of real grass and a new
running track. We’re excited to have
the Islanders enjoy this long-needed
upgrade.
On a last note, SUJAC would like to
thank everyone who signed the “Train
de l’Ouest” petition demanding that
funds for a direct link between downtown and the airport be reallocated to
improve commuter train service between Lionel-Groulx and Ste-Anne-deBellevue. Have a great break, everyone!
Look for Alcohol and Drug Awareness week events from October 25-27
Bandersnatch Campus Life
Wednesday October 6th, 2010 • 3
Kim Jong Il’s golden boy
Robin Clark
Contributor
Kim Jong Il’s third son, Kim Jong
Un, was promoted to general of the
Korean People’s Army a couple of hours
before the first North Korean Party
conference since thirty years ago. This
promotion was followed by a conference on September 28, where Kim Jong
Un was sworn in as military delegate
and during which the Presidium of
the Supreme People’s Assembly and
the ministerial cabinet were asked to
pledge their allegiance to Kim Jong
Un. This is the clearest signal from
Pyongyang yet that the younger Kim is
on track to succeed his father in ruling
North Korea.
Kim Jong Il, 68, who is known as
North Korea’s “Dear Leader”, suffered
a stroke at the end of last year and has
been incapacitated ever since. Now,
after having received the crucial backing of the military, Kim Jong Un, 27,
is seen as the likely successor to his
father. This promotion symbolises the
rise of Kim Jong Un and his arrival on
the North Korean stage out of relative
obscurity. Not much is known of the
younger Kim; the only reliable information on the man comes from Kenji
Fujimoto, Kim Jong Il’s former personal
chef in Pyongyang, who described Un
as “a chip off the old block” who would
“stare at me with a vicious look.” This is
really the only information on Kim who
is described as “a spitting image of his
father in terms of face, body shape and
personality.” Educated in Switzerland
under a pseudonym, there exists only
one picture of Kim Jong Un, dating
back 11 years.
This obs c ur ity around t he ne w
militar y commander raises crucial
questions about the lack of experience
the younger of three brothers possesses. Kim Jong-Un’s elevation comes
at the expense of his two older brothers, each of whom had previously been
in contention to take the helm. Kim
Jong Nam, the eldest, ruled himself
out when he was caught trying to visit
Disneyland in Japan on a fake passport
in 2001. The middle brother, Kim Jong
Chul, is apparently too “girlish” to rule.
In the report published after the
Party conference, six new generals
have been promoted, many of whom
Adding fuel to the fire
Louisa Bielig
Staff Writer
In May 2010, Israeli military troops
stormed and killed nine people aboard
an international aid convoy dedicated
to bringing relief supplies into the Gaza
strip, which has been blockaded by the
Israeli government since the 2008 Gaza
war (1,100-1,400 Palestinians and 13
Israelis were killed in the 22-day war).
The reason behind the blockade is the
control of the area (from 2007) by the
radical Islamist group Hamas who refuse
to accept Israel as a legitimate state and
frequently launch missiles onto Israeli
territory. Israel claims that those attacks
can only be prevented through a constant
economic embargo against Palestine
through the Gaza strip. However, medicine and other aid supplies are normally
not allowed through, though they come
from internationally approved aid organizations. Last week, the UN committee for
Human Rights stated that Israeli actions
breached International Human Rights
and tried to approach Israel during a
conference in Geneva, but Israeli UN
ambassador Ahron Leshn-Yaar rejected
the analysis, claiming that Israel does
not trust the commission. Unfortunately,
this just adds some more fuel to the fire
between Israel, the Palestinians and international diplomats trying to solve an
old and bitter conflict.
4 • Wednesday October 6th, 2010
Besides this incident, the neverending violence on both sides loads the
already tense relationship between Israel
and Palestine with even more controversy. Two weeks ago, members of Hamas
launched missiles onto Israeli territory.
Israeli military immediately answered
with an air campaign. Also, an Israeli
bodyguard shot several Palestinians in
a mostly Palestinian area, claiming that
they had thrown stones at his car. He was
on his way to work to protect the few
Israeli families living in the quarter, who
have to face severe threats by opponents
of the occupation. Those opponents went
into the streets after the incident and
started a riot.
At the beginning of September, four
Israelis were killed while driving down
a road close to Hebron. The Palestinian
authorities instantly started searching
for the members of Hamas, who had
admitted to the attack, saying that they
took “whole responsibility for this heroic
operation” and that it was a “natural reaction” to Israel’s occupation of the Gaza
strip. The Palestinian Prime Minister,
Salam Fajad, criticized the incident
sharply and stated that those actions go
completely against any genuine effort on
the part of Palestine to achieve a peaceful
solution for the conflict. Nevertheless,
the Gaza Strip construction council of
the Israeli community reacted on the
same day to announce the early resumption of construction work in local Israeli
settlements. This goes against the ten
are close relatives of Kim Jong Il. Of
these six, Kim Jong Il’s brother-in-law
as well as sister, Kim Kyong Hui, 4,
are suspected to advise the Un in his
young age. Kim Jong Ill took power
in 1994, after his own father, Kim Il
Sung’s death, due to heart failure. At
the time, Kim Jong Ill had had 14 years
to learn all the ropes. This apparent
rushing of the transition of power may
suggest that Kim Jong Il’s poor health
is not improving. All that remains now
is speculation as Kim Jong Il’s sister,
Kim Kyong Hui, is seen as most likely
to take control over Party affairs in the
event of the leader’s death and over
the grooming that Kim Jong Un is to
receive ahead of taking power himself.
month official building freeze which
the Israeli government ordered for new
settlements in the West Bank. It was a
compromise with the US and the UN
because, as UN Secretary- General Ban
Ki-Moon stated last March, “the world
has condemned Israel’s expansion plans
in East Jerusalem. (…) All settlement activity is illegal anywhere in occupied territory”. The freeze was supposed to end
last Monday (26.09.2010), but there have
been several severe violations throughout
the year, mostly after violent incidents
or during international conferences.
Palestinians responded by threatening
to exit peace negotiations. That would
hamper efforts to improve the relationship b etween
the two countries,
led by the US and
especially Hillar y
Clinton, Secretary
of State of the USA.
She had travelled to
Sharm el-Sheikh in
Eg ypt last month
to discuss possible
s olut ions for t he
settlements, official borders and
the question about
the acceptance of
Israel as a Jewish
state by Palestine,
with Benjamin
Netanyahu, head of
Israeli government,
and Palestine’s president Mahmoud
Abbas. Both of them officially are trying
to find a solution, but they are under
strong political pressure in and outside
their countries, which makes it even
more challenging for Clinton and her
team to connect their interests.
In addition, it is a hard job to establish a base of trust after George W. Bush
neglected the conflict for most of his
term in office. Discussions are soon to be
picked up, but once again it is uncertain
if this complicated controversy can ever
be solved. In the end, all that remains
is hope, though many voices say that
there has always been hope – but little
progress.
Bandersnatch News
Untitled
We have a problem
Abigail Léard - Contributor
Anonymous - Contributor
I don’t know
Where I am
(I found myself)
Inside my head
There’s a constant war, sometimes nothing happens,
And a perpetual wind, sometimes it’s still.
Fasten your seat belts
Maybe another headache...
We will be experiencing turbulence.
I don’t know where I found
This persona that I show, I show, I show
Inside my head
Maybe another headache...
Soulessly I search
Cody Foster-Demeny - Production Manager
Soulessly, I search.
Heartlessly, from birth.
Until recently, unwound.
Now finally, I’ve Found.
My heart, my content.
My love, I’d sent.
All of it I’d lend…
None for me to spend.
But how content I’d be,
If she were here, with me.
Lover lover hold my hand,
I’m in panic
I think I’m just worried
Maybe another headache...
Oh i’m just leaving...
Where did you go? Oh yeah that’s right.
I found you.
Inside my head.
Maybe another headache...
Would I take you back?
Mighty Axe
Ying Rang Lin - Contributor
L’ame de la rose - Cover
Siyona Isa-Lazar - Contributor
Bandersnatch Arts
Wednesday October 6th, 2010 • 5
Facebook me!
Melissa K Allingham
Staff Writer
Waiting for the film to begin, I can hear the
excited chatter in the room: everyone has heard
the great reviews of how The Social Network is the
best movie of the year. Critics, these days, are very
original. Of all the movies that have been released
in September, at least three have been pronounced
as “best movie of the year”. This film deserves better. Directed by David Fincher (Fight Club), the
movie not only relates to our ever-growing obsession with social networks but also relates to our
experiences with friendship, loyalty and betrayal.
The movie is centered on two separate lawsuits with Mark Zuckerberg concerning the creation of Facebook. The actions of the characters
are represented with flashbacks throughout the
movie which, in the order that they are presented,
can sometimes mislead us or even surprise us
just like the very first scene managed to do. The
fist scene is like a slap in the face that makes you
jolt out of bed after a long night’s sleep; it is gripping, unsettling and offensive. Although, it keeps
you attentive throughout the rest of the movie:
Zuckerberg is having a drink with his girlfriend
while talking about how he would like to gain access to the final clubs and, somehow, we see him
insult his way into making his girlfriend break up
with him and finish him off by insulting him in
turn. It’s like watching a lion devour an antelope
while getting kicked in the groin from a nerve
reflex, except Zuckerberg and his girlfriend have
clothes on.
It is quite an astonishing feat for writer Aaron
Sorkin to have kept some mystery in a story based
on true events. The script was written in a unique
fashion that we do not ordinarily see in other
movies. Sorkin manages to make the jerk-type
obnoxious personality of Mark Zuckerberg appear likeable in a funny, sarcastic and cynical kind
of way which put in contrast with the character
of Eduardo Saverin, Zuckerberg’s best friend and
co-creator of Facebook, is undeniably difficult
given that he is such an asshole and Saverin is
just a lovable guy who we cannot help but pity.
Andrew Garfield, who portrays Saverin, has
proved to be an astonishing actor in this movie
and has already been
cast to play Peter Parker
in an upcoming SpiderMan Reboot movie set
to hit theatres on July 3rd
, 2012. Another great
performance was that of
Jesse Eisenberg as Mark
Zuckerberg. His performance was different
from his previous work,
The Social Network Conference
Nevada McEniry-Hatajlo
Photography Manager
The new movie, The Social Network, is about
the making of Facebook. It concentrates on a combination of characters: the head-honcho, Mark
Zuckerberg, who is played by Jesse Eisenberg,
one of Zuckerberg’s closest apprentices, Eduardo
Saverin, who is played by Andrew Garfield, and
a rival character, Cameron Winklevoss, who is
played by Armie Hammer.
As we all know, Jesse Eisenberg is known
for his latest films, Adventureland where he costars with Kristen Stewart and Ryan Reynolds
and Zombieland where he co-stars with Woody
Harrelson and Emma Stone. Andrew Garfield is
known for working along side Heath Ledger in the
recent film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus,
as well the 2010 film, Never Let Me Go, staring
Keira Knightley and Carey Mulligan. Armie
Hammer is known for his work on Reaper, Gossip
Girl, Desperate Housewives and Veronica Mars as
well the film Blackout staring Amber Tamblyn.
When the opportunity arose to interview the three
of them, I didn’t have to think twice about it. It was
a pleasure to be able to talk to these three talented
and friendly guys.
A conference call was set up and a whole
bunch of students, including me, were joined
together in groups and given 20 odd minutes
as a whole to interview one of them at a time.
Each person was addressed before their turn to
prepare their question, and the rest stayed silent
and listened to the response and commentary.
The questions ranged from inquiry about the
6 • Wednesday October 6th, 2010
actual movie to simple curiosity about the actor
being interviewed.
They never really got a chance to meet their
real-life personages, so one of the popular questions asked during this interview was: “How
did these actors prepare for their roles?”. What
Andrew Garfield told us is “[...] like you prepare
for any role, you treat every character you play as
if they were real, otherwise you’re not doing them
service. You’ve got to find the human dilemma in
everything that you do; as an actor that’s kind of
your job. [...] I was disappointed that I didn’t get to
meet Eduardo. I would have loved to because it
would have been great to steal every single mannerism of his, his voice and to spend time with
[him] to capture his essence. [...] As a resource it
wasn’t available to me.” Regardless, the three actors agreed that, with the help of an extremely well
written script (written by Aaron Sorkin) and a very
professional director, David Fincher, they were able
to pull it off. In Armie Hammer’s case, he prepared
for his role by researching twins and practicing
rowing, because these were two critical aspects
of his character. Jesse Eisenberg
also told us that he got a hold of any
video, picture and interview that
Mark Zuckerberg was in as a way of
moulding and preparing for this role.
When I was able to interview
Armie Hammer, I wanted to know
what he thought was the best part
about this whole experience. He told
me “Oh my gosh, it’s so much better
than the actual college experience.
First of all, there was no homework
which is quite a plus. Also the fact
since it demanded more of him on an emotional
scale and he remarkably succeeds, leading us to
expect a few award nominations. It is undeniable
that this movie will be featured at the Oscars with
more than one nomination. There should at the
very least be one for Cinematography as it was
breathtaking. In other words, if there is any movie
you should see in theatres right now it has to be
The Social Network. If you love one-liners and
awesome comebacks, you should see The Social
Network. If you are in need of pissing people off,
come see how Mark Zuckerberg does it in The
Social Network. If you are a teenager, then you
are easily influenced and you will see The Social
Network. If you know what Facebook is, or would
like to, then you must see The Social Network.
Finally, just see the movie because everyone else
you know will see it and we all know how much
it sucks to be left out.
New Releases
In Theaters
The Social Network
Legend of the Guardians
Let Me In
Chain Letter
CDs
Jimmy Eat World - Invented
KT Tunstall - Tiger Suit
Apache Beat - Last Chants
Brandon Flowers - Flamingo
DVDs
A Nightmare on Elm Street
The Human Centipede
The Child Prodigy
The Karate Kid
Upcoming Releases
In Theaters
that my professors were Aaron Sorkin and David
Fincher. I’ve never felt the need to respect my
professors so much. It was amazing working with
two of the great of Hollowed who I have grown up
to respect [...] as someone involved in this industry.
I mean, it was the best, like who doesn’t want to
work with these guys? It was a treat.”
As for Jesse Eisenberg, it didn’t take long for
someone to ask him about people comparing him
to Michael Cera. It was surprising how relaxed he
seemed talking about it, because I’m sure he’s been
asked about this many times. Instead, he simply
said “It’s kind of a nice complement because he’s
such a talented guy.”
The movie is supposed to be a phenomenal
piece and, according to the actors, it was a truly
amazing experience. It was pretty awesome to
get a really intimate perspective on this movie
from these three actors, they were certainly really
gracious about answering all of our questions. The
Social Network is a must see of the year; if you’re
given the opportunity to see it, you shouldn’t let
it go.
My Soul to Take
October 8
Nowhere Boy
October 8
Jackass 3D
October 15
Paranormal Activity 2
October 22
CDs
Simian Mobile Disco - Is Fixed
October 12
Liz Phair - Funstyle
October 12
Shakira - Sale el Sol
October 19
DVDs
Splice
October 12
How to Train Your Dragon
October 15
Predator
October 15
Sex and the City 2
October 26
Upcoming Events
Die Antwoord
October 25
Metropolis
Devin Townsend Project
November 2
Cafe Campus
Ozzy Osbourne
November 23
Bell Center
Bandersnatch Entertainment
They’re a band and they’re local
Alexandra Usypchuk
Contributor
Montreal’s music scene is overflowing
with talent. There are local bands playing
almost every day of the week all around the
city. Although many of these bands start to
sound the same, A Hopeless Lie has broken
away from this and is bringing something
new to alternative rock.
It was a defiant wake up call when A
Hopeless Lie took to the stage and reminded
everyone what good music is. The band held
their release show on September 25 for their
new EP “Monster in the Mirror.”
The EP which consists of 5 songs is now
being sold worldwide. Inspired by artists
such as Escape the Fate, Asking Alexandria,
Blessthefall and many others, it demonstrates
stellar vocals, catchy rhythms, awesome
break-downs and meaningful lyrics. The band
shows a lot of creativity in the instrumentals
of their song “This is Not a Fire Drill, this is
a Wake Up Call” which has a guitar riff that
sounds like an ambulance, while the song
“Hello Angel” gives the EP variety as it’s an
acoustic song with poetic lyrics.
The band members include lead vocalist
Mike Silentts, guitarist/vocalist Matt Misfit,
bassist/vocalist Dustin Heroin and drummer
Alex Jamieson. To get a better idea of the band
members,I asked them a few questions:
Where do you get the ideas for your
songs?
“Sometimes through personal experience
but mostly it’s from an idea I’ll read in a book
or on a TV show. I love looking for quotes to
inspire my lyrical writing.” – Mike
“I fiddle around on guitar, get a cool idea,
make it into gold, and see how I can make that
riff catchy.” – Matt
“Honestly, a lot of it is just screwing
around. Of course, listening to other bands inspires you to write your own ideas.” – Dustin.
What’s the best part about being in a
band?
“I think one of my favorite things would
be the thrill, getting new amazing shows and
also getting to talk to people millions of miles
away that don’t even know you personally but
love your music. Just knowing that there are
so many people that care and are supportive
is a great feeling.” – Mike
“Being on stage is a second home... it’s
welcoming, it’s warm (hot as hell actually) and
full of people who love you, or want to see you.
Also, seeing people sing along to something
that took us a long time to perfect.” – Matt
“Playing the music (how cheesy that
might sound) which I can never get enough of
as it’s almost an addiction, getting all pumped
up for that favorite part of yours that comes
up in each of the songs. And the interaction
with the fans, being able to look at everyone
knowing that they’re all there just to see
you.” – Dustin
“I’d say song-writing. I like coming up
with new ideas, and I’m trying more and
more to be more creative with what I write
up.” – Alex
An encore for WISTA!
Serag Bulur
Games & Tech Editor
It was a chilly Friday night, so chilly in
fact that my nipples pierced through the wool
sweater my grandmother made me. A look at
the heavens and you could see the lack of stars
that were covered by those nimbus sky marshmallows, however, it was the perfect night to
spend at the theatre, and to the theatre I went.
I grabbed my top hat and spectacles. Grew my
signature “Monopoly Man” moustache and I
was off to enjoy WISTA’s new play entitled, Le
Cirque D’Orandour.
For those who don’t know the West Island
Student Theatre Association (WISTA for short
if you hadn’t figured it out yet) is a school/
Bandersnatch Entertainment
theatre company where young adults of all ages
perform annual plays that consist of many on
and off Broadway songs. As well, WISTA is
an opportunity for ladies and gents who don’t
have the chance to do theatre at school but
contain that fiery passion to let loose on stage
and become someone else for two hours. Or
at least that’s what they claim to be on the last
page of the playbill. I’m not afraid to admit that
I thought WISTA was a low calorie sweetener
before a friend of mine told me otherwise (fuck
you, Splenda!). Now before I veer off topic and
into a northern Quebec whorehouse, I have
been to numerous amounts of WISTA shows
and there have been many that have tickled my
fancy beyond repair and some that have made
me cry and hate my life. Le Cirque D’Orandour,
however, destroyed all pre-snotty expectations I
had by spitting in my mouth
and cursing my name with
its amazing performances.
So yes, I liked it a lot.
The main reason as to
why this year’s show was so
impeccably awesome was
because the story contained
heart and soul. In previous
years, I found that the story
to a WISTA play was just
an excuse to transition into
a Broadway show tune, but
this year was different. The
story takes place in a small
Western town in France
named Orandour where M.
Phillippe (Mathieu Apuzzo),
Where do you see yourselves in the
future?
“I don’t like to think about the future
and just picture myself in one spot. I like to
look at the ups and downs of being in a band
and look at where that can lead me. I hope
to still see myself playing on a stage in front
of lots of people. Music is what I love to do.
What I’ve always loved and what I will always
love.” – Mike
“Touring a lot! Warped Tour, opening for
big bands, getting signed, and playing even
bigger shows! Hopefully hitting up the Bell
Centre!”– Matt
“Somewhere other than here? Of course
every band’s dream is to get out there and
make it big, I hope one day we’re there, too!”
- Dustin
“It all depends; I can’t really say what the
future holds.” – Alex
How did you come up with the name of
the band?
“Why try to lie or hide something
when the truth is obviously there.
That’s what this band is about; we are here
and we want to let everyone know it. To try
and hide us would be A Hopeless Lie.” - Mike
After a year of playing shows, they have
finally booked their first gig outside of
Montreal. On October 10, A Hopeless Lie will
be in Cornwall playing with Be the Savior and
After the Vendetta. Also catch them October
12th at La Tulipe playing with We Came as
Romans and In Fear and Faith. You can find
their songs and events on their myspace:
www.myspace.com/ahopelesslieband
an investor, and his circus master, Mr. A (Daniel
Wilkenfeld), helped turn the town to fame and
glory with its nightly circus performances. The
shows introduced a slew of the town’s freaks
and the ever beautiful Oulala Girls. Personally,
Oulala Girls (Chelsea Bayer, Erin Berger and
Robin Kravitz) is a badass name. The story is
somewhat narrated by Mme. Giri (Elizabeth
Prévost) who returns to the town years after it
has burned to the ground for reasons I’ll mention later (it’s just as badass as Oulala Girls). She
meets up with Louise (Elizabeth Cannell), a
tourist who came to the town with her parents
to witness the show but alas they have been
lost ever since the fire and she is now in search
of them. Essentially, she pulls a Bruce Willis in
The Sixth Sense and is just a ghost caused by
that tragic night. Now don’t get mad at me for
spoiling the obvious twist, I’d just like to note
that the show ended its two day run on the 2nd
of October. So really I don’t know how you plan
to watch it since you can’t. Anyways, treachery
and heart break ensues and this causes one of
the Oulala Girls, Anabella Giri, to be murdered.
Mr. Phillippe, you had a very French hard-on
for her, did what any man would do after losing the love of his life; murder suicide pact.
Essentially he burned the town down because
he was having a bad day. I love the theatre! That
morbid scene where everyone is suffering from
the flames sent chills down my spine and is imprinted into my brain forever. It honestly was a
strong performance from the entire ensemble.
Bravo! But don’t worry it’s not all bad news
because they sang Hot Honey Rag from Chicago
as they appeared as spectral ghosts back from
jazz tune heaven.
There really wasn’t a weak performance
from the bunch. The dancing and choreography
was stunning, but not too over-the-top which is
a great thing because it would have taken away
some of the charm and messages of the songs.
Basically both aspects complimented each other
nicely. Some songs and dance numbers are
more memorable than others, like When you
Got it, Flaunt it from The Producers, where the
characters M. Baroque (Trevor Barrette) and
Mr. A dance and sing in drag. I’m telling you
all it was amazing. Or El Tango de Roxanne
from Moulin Rouge which was equally unforgettable. Honestly, I can’t think of a song that
didn’t impress me.
The only major problem I had with the play
were the clowns. They weren’t bad or anything,
they were just scary like that talking orange in
Jersey Shore. You know, the one that looks like
a woman. They were terrifying and I think
this is mostly due to my very serious phobia of
clowns. So it isn’t necessarily the show’s fault as
it is just me being chicken shit over clowns. So
congratulations for actually invoking countless
nightmares I’ve been having about burning
clowns in a late 1920’s French circus town. I’m
seeing a therapist about it.
All in all, the play was beautiful and amazing from beginning to end. A cornucopia of
talent from people with little to many years of
experience. A job well done for the entire cast
and to those who didn’t have the chance to
experience the glory of Le Cirque D’Orandour
don’t worry about it, we can still be the best
of buds.
Wednesday October 6th, 2010 • 7
Miley Cyrus is colonizing the youth
Tim Gale
Opinions Editor
Ev e r y g e n e r at i on h a s t h at on e
pop star that symbolizes everything
that is wrong with the world. More
so in North America. The 1980’s had
Ma d on n a , t h e 1 9 9 0 ’s h a d Br it n e y
Spears, the 2000’s had Ashlee Simpson,
and in this new decade we have dozens;
the likes of Justin Bieber, the Black
Eyed Peas, Lady Gaga, and Ke$ha. But
there’s one pop artist that stands higher
than the ones already mentioned. This
person must be impressively oppressive. So who can it be? Well, it’s none
other than the mighty Miley Cyrus,
of course!
I t houg ht we had s e en t he l ast
of the Cyrus’ when Billy Ray disappeared, but no. His seed made its way
through a women’s body and produced
the mutant offspring known as Miley
nine months later. It’s a shame that
comedian Bill Hicks never had the
television show that he wanted. It was
to be called “Let’s Hunt and Kill Billy
Ray Cyrus”, where he would release the
hounds of hell to chase him all over the
globe until he was finally caught, so
that he could surrender to a shot-gun.
But alas, that show never made it to
air. I wonder why? Anyways, the new
Cryus on the block is Miley. She’s the
latest product churned out by Disney.
Her music career began with the
television series Hannah Montana,
where children across North America
fell in love with her. She even toured as
the character, selling out hockey arenas across the globe. But soon, Miley
felt that it was time for a change. Yes,
she bothered to stop being a character
and decided to evolve into a puppet.
While having her corporate masters
pu l l her st r ings, t he ar t ist k nown
as Miley Cyrus was born. No more
Hannah Montana, Mi le y was here
to take over the world. Kind of like
Disney. Children growing up watching
her old show followed her on to her
new path, as did the younger children
who were siblings of her followers. So
while Miley had a ‘party in the U.S.A.’,
her listeners were taking notice, and
pretty much doing exactly what she
was doing.
Howe ve r, it w as n’t l ong b e fore
Mile y, like most p op stars b efore,
decided to go slutty. She hiked up her
skirts/shorts, grinded, and even pole
danced! The number of pole dancing
tweens rised from a modest number,
sky rocketing to a number I can’t even
pronounce. And now Mile y Cyr us
has been releasing songs like “Can’t
be Tamed” (ironic title, no?) and is
acting even sluttier than usual! And
how have the youth of today acted?
Well they’re the corrupted souls of the
world; they’re the biggest prank pulled
on youth culture. They have followed
her as she keeps giving the younger
people out there negative influences.
Tell me, what is so unique, original,
and soulful about this woman? Tick
tock tick tock...I’m still waiting for an
answer here! See, if I had kids (which
I won’t because I hate kids) I would
want them to admire someone who had
a heart. Not just a hard on for money.
ing awesome and stealing the show.
Granted it’s cool to have a little back
stor y for anything but I don’t want
an entire two hours dedicated to it.
S o A l i e n v s . Pre d ator pl e as e stop
butchering the greatest thriller scifi creatures (Aliens) and the coolest
action space hunters (Predators). I
loved Silence of the Lambs. Hannibal
was a miss for me. Red Dragon was
actually a pretty decent prequel but
what the crap was Hannibal Rising?
My D V D p l a y e r t r i e d t o s u e m e
a f t e r w at c h i n g t h at f i lt h . It w on .
I like Wolverine. In fact, I like him
so much that I actually gave X-Men
Origins: Wolverine a fighting chance.
I didn’t know it would be an hour and
a half of Wolverine crying and talking
about how he’s going to kill everyone
but in the end he kills no one. I hear
they are making a sequel to that prequel, which is another thing that really
annoys me, sequels of prequels. Or in
the case of the Scorpion King 2: Rise
of a Warrior (know your eyes aren’t
Ke$ha stupid you read it correctly)
a prequel of a prequel. S omeb o dy
thought that the Rock’s character in
the Mummy Returns was so memorable that he in fact needed his own
origin story in the form of a full length
film which is kind of useless considering he had his entire origin showcased
in the first 10 minutes of the Mummy
Returns. Now due to popular demand
or a reason to make a soft core porno
disguised as an action film, we now
have a prequel to the prequel that is
The Scorpion King. Do you get what
I’m saying, because I sure as hell don’t.
D u mb an d D u mb e re r : w h e n
Harry met Lloyd. Did that title just
make you angry? Here’s another one.
Un d e r w o r l d : R i s e o f t h e Ly c a n s .
Having mono was better than that.
Psycho IV: the Beginning. That movie
almost made me murder a cat. The
Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas. How
dare you put Stephen Baldwin in my
movies! Hercules: Zero to Hero. The
Lion King 1 ½. The Little Mermaid:
Ariel’s B eginning. Mr. Disney, you
c o l d h e a r t e d b a s t a rd . Tre m or s 4 :
The Legend B egins. As if the past
t h re e f i l m s d i d n’t s u c k o ut l o u d .
Carlito’s Way: Rise to Power. Guess
w hat C arlito, no one g ives a shit.
I can go on but I think I’ve made
my point. Prequels are just really big
mistakes, like Gossip Girl or Bon Jovi
(two in a row). Yes good prequels exist. Does that mean Hollywood should
keep pumping them out? No, they
shouldn’t, but there are a lot of things
Hollywood should never do. As long
as we, the audience, keep paying real
money and none of that Monopoly
crap to watch these appalling films
then...wait I forgot what I was talking
about.
Sequel to the prequel
Serag Bulur
Games & Tech Editor
Episode 1 sucks. I know it. You
know it. George Lucas knows it. The
one thing I hate more than Nic Cage
and Bon Jovi is prequels. What’s worse
than a sequel that completely ruins a
wonderful franchise (I’m looking at
you Matrix)? The under produced and
most likely straight-to-DVD prequel.
Now I know some of you (a lot of you)
are yelling at this paper and telling
8 • Wednesday October 6th, 2010
me how not all prequels are garbage.
Godfather Part II is somewhat of a
sequel and a prequel and I know a
shit ton of people that like that film. I
don’t like the series but my dad does
and that’s something special to me. But
I’m not here to write about the only
film where I can stand Marlon Brando.
I ’m h e r e t o t e l l t h e w o r l d ( Jo h n
Abbott students) about how worthless and futile prequel movies are.
Have you ever cared about how
a major character of a film franchise
began his or her journey? Have you
ever wanted to see the
establishment of events
that shapes the universe
of a fictional world? Well
then you must also like
watching paint dr y because the beginning of
everything sucks.
Nobody watches
Spider-Man so they can
witness Peter Parker getting bit by a spider and
coping with his teen hormones. Nobody wants to
s e e A n a k i n Sk y w a l ke r
(Darth freaking Vader)
cry about his mom for an
entire trilogy. We want
to see the characters in
costume, in their most
badass moments doing
what they do best; be-
Bandersnatch Opinions
I’m a virus with shoes
Patricia Fitzgibbons
Entertainment Editor
Before I began to write up this article I did
some brainstorming. I debated on which topic
I should rant on about, and I won’t lie to you;
there are so many things I could tell you that
annoy me these days. For instance: how people
on the bus smell like rotten fries, how much I
can’t stand high school level drama, how there
are useless people in the world breathing MY
air, how I want to become hall monitor and
tell those group reunions in the middle of
hallways to “FUCKING GET OUT OF THE
WAY!”, how Justin Bieber isn’t dead yet – oh
the possibilities! Funny I say that, because I
used to be such a tolerant human being. But
nowadays, I feel like I’ve been getting more
jaded by the day…and that terrifies me. So I
figured I’d do something different and rant on
about something I live with every day: myself.
“Great, what a narcissist; some chick who
thinks she’s going to be an interesting enough
topic for an article…LAME!” is probably what
most of you thought just after reading that first
paragraph. Well, honestly, I would agree with
you right off the bat. I also think I’m not an
interesting topic, which brings me directly to
the one thing I hate most about myself, and
that is how mediocre I am. I bet some of you
think you’re nothing special, or that you’re
not good at anything, or that you’ll live in a
box when you’re older. If you do think that
about yourself, then we should be friends.
We should join our forces and be super-
Bandersnatch Opinions
mediocre…together! Hoo-rah! Isn’t that just
nifty? But, seriously, I’m a reasonable amount
of great and that’s never gonna change. I know
people out there who can’t seem to encounter
their forte, but at least they know they have
one somewhere. Don’t give up, those of you!
I believe you can not be like me and make
someone out of yourself!
Besides my fate of being an average
person forever, there’s another thing about
myself I dislike and it is my incredible ability to manipulate others. Yes, I said it: I will
manipulate you, bitch. Although, sometimes
I will have no idea that I did manipulate you
and will be all “oops”, which I find is quite sad.
Apparently, I have this hidden power inside
me that I don’t know how to use. It’s like if the
Hulk was masturbating and when his internet
crashed all of a sudden, he’d get all mad and
simply forget to let go of his penis. The only
difference is that I don’t have a penis…and I
don’t turn green when I’m mad…I think. So
sometimes, I will find myself getting things
my way without even realizing I’m messing
with peoples’ emotions, which is not fair to
anybody. I don’t have fun with it, and it upsets
me when it’s on auto-pilot. For that, I apologize
in advance. I take that back, I apologize to only
some of you.
Moving on, the last thing I wish was not
one of my characteristics would probably be
the need to be nice to people I can’t stand. Call
it “fake”, call it “polite”; I don’t like it. In case
you’re not following too well this last one, it’s
when you don’t like someone just by looking
at them. Some of you perhaps are feeling that
way about me at the moment. But, anyhow,
there’s something about them that just annoys you. You can’t help it; that’s simply the
way you feel. The worst part is: you have no
right to hate them, because they technically
haven’t done you wrong in any way. So that’s
when you can’t treat them badly, just because
they exist, even though you wish they’d fall
down an escalator going up (that way they’d
go on falling for hours…yes, that was a Dmitri
Martin reference) and that pretty much drives
me crazy. I’ve been told I’m clinically insane,
and that just makes me assume I should pick
up smoking to calm myself down.
So now, I’m gonna get real with y’all. The
point of this was not to demote myself; I have
feelings too, and I don’t want anyone to hate
me. If there’s one good thing I can say about
myself, it is that I’m extremely motivational.
I’m willing to take myself down to make you
feel better about yourself. I have friends who
are feeling really shitty about themselves and I
can’t bear to see that anymore. Don’t feel bad,
guys, we’ve all got our bad sides. Hopefully, I
was able to get you in a mood to pick yourself
up and feel better. When we see how terrible
others can be, we feel better about ourselves
and realize we’re not as bad as we think we are
(which is why I enjoy Ke$ha). If I was you, I
wouldn’t underestimate yourself just yet.
Wednesday October 6th, 2010 • 9
An itch for speed (not the drug)
Ninlanjan Das
Contributor
When the Need For Speed series
first burned rubber in 1995, it had set
the bar of arcade racing to a whole new
level. Licensed, exotic, fast cars with nice
graphics and pulse-pounding sound effects hooked many racing fans. While
the games were short, they seemingly
provided a tons of hours of racing fun.
NFS III Hot Pursuit and its sequel
High Stakes became the real classics of
the series featuring a mix of different car
classes, a great soundtrack and the wailing
of sirens chasing after the players. With
split-screen multiplayer, racing and police
pursuits were simply double the fun.
NFS Porsche Unleashed probably has
some of the best driving mechanics in the
whole NFS series because it was made feel
more like a simulation racer. While the
game focuses solely on Porsches, you still
get a wide, well detailed variety of them
to choose from, dating from the 1950s
up until the year 2000 (basically, the year
Porsche Unleashed was published). Thus,
the driving mechanics allowed the players
to really get a feel for one of Germany's
best luxury sports cars. Porsche Unleashed
also had a nice performance customization system which served very useful for
its career mode gameplay; though, car
customization came much later in the
series.
NFS Hot Pursuit 2 may not have necessarily been hotter than NFS III, but it was
and still is a fun time killer. Split-screen
racing while being chased by the 5-0 is
just plain fun, while a solid soundtrack
keeps the beat and pace of the game going.
Even to this day, I keep watching the intro
video just because it's well made and the
song is so catchy.
In 2003, the customization era began:
NFS Underground 1 and 2 marked a new
chapter in the series offering many tuner
cars to be customized by performance
as well as looks. This encouraged racers
to bring their senses of creativity to life,
while racing along city streets and highways at night blasting intoxicating nitrous
oxide in the air.
While NFS Most Wanted isn't a perfect
arcade racer, it's probably by far the best
game in the series of the customization
era. It has style, attitude, a neat car selection, an excellent soundtrack, and overthe-top cop pursuits.
From there on, you can almost forget
about the rest of the series: rip-offs and
poor gameplay hindered the series, which
didn’t do it any
justice at all. NFS
Carbon is a bad
Most Wanted ripoff which implements new gameplay elements
very poorly. NFS
ProStreet is solid
but boring. NFS
Undercover is just
another bad Most
Wante d r ip - of f
A threesome for your iPhone
Alex Callard
Campus Life Editor
As anyone who owns an iPhone or
iPod Touch knows, the iTunes App
Store is less like a digital game marketplace than an uncharted sea of shadowy
terrors. While it has gotten a little
better recently, finding good games
can be nearly impossible. That’s where
Bandersnatch comes in.
Rob ot Uni c orn Attack - $2.99
One of the quirkiest, strangest and most fervently addicting games I’ve played in
a long time, Robot Unicorn
Attack will keep you glued to
your iPod trying to rack up
your score. Everything about
this game is nuts, and it runs
as smoothly as it’s online
Flash counterpart, which
you can try for free online.
The soundtrack, which consists simply of “Always” by
Erasure, might be the icing
on the cake.
10 • Wednesday October 6th, 2010
Spider: The Secret of Bryce Manor
- $0.99 (for a limited time! Reg. $2.99)
This robust action-puzzler also happens to be the most visually gorgeous
game I’ve played on the iPod. As a spider traversing an abandoned old house,
you’ll travel through its many rooms
while spinning webs and trapping bugs
for food. This game offers the best of
both worlds: catching unsuspecting
insects in your web is incredibly satisfying, while the stunning art style offers a
certain mystery aspect to the game. As a
with ridiculous A.I. and clumsy gameplay.
NFS Shift had potential, but it's unfortunately an unfinished and sloppy game, in
which case you might as well get Forza
Motorsport 3 or wait for Gran Turismo 5
to satisfy simulation racing.
However, the latest NFS game yet to
be released on November 16th, NFS Hot
Pursuit (2010), might be worth a look;
it's actually returning to the series' roots
in terms of cops vs. racers. On top of that,
the game is not only being published by
Electronic Arts, but it's being developed
by Criterion, the makers of Burnout.
Before deciding that this game might suck,
you might want to read up on its previews
on Gamespot; it at least looks more fun.
What I find unfortunate is that an NFS
game comes out literally EVERY year. I
don't think fans of the series would mind
if it disappeared for a year or two in order to come up with a more proper game
which would really do some justice to its
roots. Let's hope the new Hot Pursuit will
be able to pull it off.
Serag’s Private Column
of Awesome Thoughts
An article from the last issue
inspired me. It inspired me like
only the Star Wars theme song
can. Melissa K. Allingham wrote
an article about her love for the
Nintendo 64 system. After reading it for the 27th time to a street
cat I was struck with an idea that
only the actors in those Microsoft
ads can relate to. I said to myself;
“Wouldn’t it be nice if people wrote
articles about their best and worst
gaming experiences”? For example,
the first time you held the sexy
purple and creamy whiteness of a
Super Nintendo controller or that
weekend you invited your friends
over and played Doom 3 with
the lights turned off. Whatever
the story, people (actual physical
people and not street cats) want to
hear them. I know because I’m a
doctor (in Sims). So write whatever
story you want to tell and make
it however long you feel like and
send it over to the cool cats at the
Bandersnatch through our e-mail
at bandersnatchpaper@gmail.com.
Or you can write sweet love letters
about how funny and cute I am. Or
better yet you can do both.
New Releases
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
For the PS3, X360
player, you can’t help but wonder what’s
happened here, and where the family
has gone. The controls are intuitive and
the game overall is a very slick, rewarding experience with incredible pacing.
S u p e r M e g a Wo r m - $ 0 . 9 9
Super Mega Worm breaks video game
conventions by putting you on the other
side of the assault rifle; you play as the
mighty Mega Worm, a giant, ferocious
beast that burrows beneath the ground,
bursting up to feast on the f leshy,
meaty humans on the surface. Despite
being a sidescrolling action game with an 8-bit,
NES-inspired visual
style, from the moment
the first human explodes
in a rain of blood between your wormy jowls,
you’ll know you aren’t
p l ay i n g y o u r av e r a g e
game. The role reversal
really works well, and
the game is reminiscent
of the Rampage series.
Definitely worth your
loonie.
NBA 2K11
For the PS3, PS2, PSP, X360
Def Jam Rapstar
For the PS3, X360, Wii
Enslaved: Odyssey to the West
For the PS3, X360
Sonic the Hedgehog 4
For the Wii, PS3, X360, iPhone
Medal of Honor
For the PS3, X360
Upcoming Releases
Kirby’s Epic Yarn
For the Wii
October 17
Fallout New Vegas
For the PS3, X360, PC
October 19
Vanquish
For the PS3, X360
October 19
Bandersnatch Games and Tech
Captain Gionta; #21 becomes a leader
Tim Harley
Contributor
When the Montreal Canadiens kick
off the start of their regular season on
Thursday October 7, they will have a
new captain at the helm. As many of
you die-hard Habs fans probably know,
Brian Gionta was named the club’s
28th captain last Wednesday. After an
off-season of speculation, the “C” went
to a player whose play, leadership and
determination far exceeds his five-footseven reach.
Brian Gionta, 31 years old, is a native from Rochester, NY, and is entering
his ninth season in the NHL. After the
team’s major overhaul last off-season,
Gionta took the position as one of the
team’s leaders and role models. With
Gionta’s team-leading 28 goals last season, players and fans quickly realized
his dominant role on the team and the
leadership qualities that he possesses.
Having won a Stanley Cup with the
New Jersey Devils during the 2002-2003
season, Gionta knows what it takes to
win. Having a captain that has gone the
distance is an important quality in a
team. Although he is recorded at a gener-
The F-word
Louisa Bielig
Staff Writer
Sports have always been very competitive because it lies in its nature. The
long tradition of sportive competition
goes back to the 8th century BCE, when
the first Olympic Games took place to
honor the main Ancient Greek god Zeus.
For more than a hundred years after, free
men who spoke Greek could show their
strength and talents in various athletic
disciplines. This started a great tradition celebrating its revival in 1896, when
the first modern Olympic Games took
place. However, even though there was
an arbitrary rule which allowed women
to take part in the Chariot races (where
they were greatly succesful) slaves and
women were not allowed to the games.
The Olympic Games, as the cradle of
sports competition, provide an excellent
example of athletic patriarchate: whilst
men were competing every four years,
even during war time, to be the strongest,
the fastest and the most trained, women
were generally excluded from the possibility of showing their abilities and of
making history as the male athletes did.
Women were allowed to have their own
competitions aside the games, but the
focus has always been on men.
Whilst it could be argued that most
men are simply taller and stronger than
women, that they have a higher supply
Bandersnatch Sports
ous 5- foot-seven, what Gionta lacks in
size he makes up for in heart. His tenacity and work effort have allowed him to
remain a competitor, despite being one
of the smallest players in the NHL.
In Thursday’s Sports section in the
Gazette, Dave Stubbs caught up with
Brian Gionta who commented on his
newly appointed title. “It’s a big thing.
It’s one of the most storied franchises
in the league (and) with all the Hall
of Famers who have come through, it’s
pretty special.” To say that it is “pretty
special” is downsizing the title just a
tad, considering the former captains of
the bleu, blanc et rouge. Players like Bob
Gainey, Jean Beliveau, Guy Charbonneau
and Maurice Richard are just a few who
have led the Habs to the promise land
while wearing the “C”. This year will be
no different, as players and fans expect
to continue where they left off last year
following a remarkable playoff run.
After the most memorable playoff
journey since 1993, last year’s team
found a sense of identity. As a relentless
squad that never quits, Gionta’s play
portrays Montreal’s newfound character.
He is not your typical face of a franchise like Sidney Crosby or Alexander
Ovechkin, but he represents the passion
of Montreal. Following a five-foot-seven
monster, who does not know the meaning of the word quit, into the 2010-2011
season does not seem like such a bad
idea. While filling the leadership skates
of Saku Koivu may be a tall order to face,
expect Gionta to be up to the task. Look
for nothing but a humble swagger and a
desire to win come Thursday night in
Toronto.
of testosterone and that their aggressive
potential is expressed more physically
than the female one, which leads to better
and therefore more interesting performances, these are not the main reasons
for the marginalization of women in
sports. It is rather the good old model
of suppressing others to stay on top. It
would be unfair to say that all ancient
civilizations repressed women, for there
have been economically independent
women and female pharaohs in old Egypt
as well as cults honoring female fertility
goddesses during the Paleolithic and
Neolithic eras. Nevertheless, there was a
strong tendency all around the world to
keep women out of politics, economics,
any influential position (with the only
exception being priestesses) – and sports.
You might think that this has changed
over the centuries, but even with the
amazing effort of various feminist sports
organizations all over the globe, there is
still a lot of work left to make sure people
don’t see “feminism” as a taboo word!
If you need proof: go on Google
Images and enter “women in sports”.
Here is what you will see: more than
half of the first twenty pictures show
scantily-clad women, a lot of bikinis
and unnecessarily tight belly-tops. Note
the topless girls promoting soccer with
… well, soccer balls in front of their
breasts. At least, you can’t say that they
are not smart because this, for sure, is a
way to get some attention. Astonishingly
enough, it does not really advance the
acceptance of women’s athletic brilliance.
Really bizarre …Excuse my sarcasm,
please!
In the end, there were some people
who decided that the focus should be
corrected toward actual sports. After
having started off without women at all
in 1896 and calling their participation
“impractical, uninteresting, anaesthetic,
and incorrect”, the modern Olympic
Games committee is about to finally
eliminate the last flaw on their feminism
chart and introduce boxing for women
next year. After that, woman will be represented in all Olympic Summer Game
disciplines.
Of course, politics have their own
women departments as well. Last year’s
woman h istor y
month (which is
October; we are
right in the middle of it, folks!)
was dedicated to
“Women in the
L e ad: Winter
Sports” and foreshadowed last
winter’s Olympics
and Paralympics.
Wo m e n w e r e
quite successful
t he re ; t he y are
now far beyond
the limitation of
the stereotypical figure skater. They fight
for their 38 medals (45 for men) on skis,
snowboards and ice-skates, with guns
and hockey sticks in their hands and
a gold medal in mind. There was even
a world record set up by China on the
short-track 3,000m relay.
In the end, people can still bash the
fact that women can still only take part
in 13 of the 15 disciplines, with Nordic
Combined and Ski Jumping only being
organized for men (why?), but it is probably better to simply admire the women
who don’t care about sexism and win
their medals out there in the snow and
ice without a nice bikini and a bare belly,
but with strength and focus. Maybe we
should start focusing, too – on their great
minds and performances!
Wednesday October 6th, 2010 • 11
12 • Wednesday October 6th, 2010
Bandersnatch Sports