the university of virginia school of law

Friday, 25 April 2008
Volume 60, Number 26
www.lawweekly.org
INSIDE
Law Weekly Through the Decades: 1998-2007................................... 3
Oscars for the Class of ’08.................................................................. 7
PILA Grantees and Summer Positions................................................ 4
Balserak Makes His Parents Proud/ Faculty Quotes............................ 8
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
The Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 1948
Class of 2008
Pledge to Top
Last Year
Helene Shen ’10
Contributor
As Professor Kraus might say,
hold on to your wallets! The 2008
UVA Law Pledge Drive is underway. A call has been put out to all
graduating students to pull out the
pen and promise to help support
the Law School for the next four
years.
The “pledge” is a commitment
by graduating class members to
participate in future gift giving
campaigns. As in previous years,
the emphasis of the campaign is
on expanding participation and
reach, less on actual amounts given. Participation levels are key to
the overall 2008 Annual Gift Giving Campaign.
“Not only does your participation provide much needed funding
to the Law School and its organizations, but it encourages alumni
who have the big dollars. Older
alumni are truly enthused by high
participation percentages, which
in turn encourages them to not
only give, but to give more,” said
Graduation Committee Co-Chair
►PLEDGE DRIVE page 2
Students
Report on
Human Rights
in Uganda
Andy Howlett ’10
Staff Writer
“Uganda,” said second-year David
Koenig, President of the Law School’s
Human Rights Study Program
(HRSP), “is an amazing and beautiful country. The people are upbeat,
friendly, and hopeful. . . . But it is a
country with some serious human
rights problems.”
So began HRSP’s presentation,
“Human Rights in Uganda,” last
Wednesday, April 16. HRSP, as described by Koenig, operates like a
“mini-NGO” engaged in everything
from conducting background research to developing contacts domestically and abroad. Over winter break
seven law students traveled to Uganda, where each student researched a
different aspect of the local human
rights situation.
Human rights violations in Uganda
arise from a variety of sources. One of
the most apparent is the nation’s high
HIV infection rate. In addition to the
challenge of combating the disease
itself, it is difficult to protect the basic
rights of children who are HIV-positive. As second-year Emily Buckley
noted, many infected children do not
► UGANDA page 2
Students Host Dance for Ugandan Charity
Alec Zadek ’08
Senior Staff Writer
On Wednesday, April 16, thirdyears Jim Baehr and Laura Holland hosted a dance party, “Move
for Uganda,” to raise money for
a local non-profit dedicated to
benefiting former child soldiers
and improving conditions in the
war-torn region.
Holland, a double ’Hoo, became interested in the Ugandan
civil war after hearing a speech
by Grace Akallo, a former child
soldier in the Lord’s Resistance
Army (LRA), a rebel group in
Uganda.
Akallo was kidnapped at the
age of 15 and forced to fight
for the LRA. During her time
with the LRA she witnessed the
maiming, rape, and murder of
other girls. She was able to escape only after being mistaken
for dead and buried alive in a
shallow grave.
Holland’s interest in the turmoil was transformed into action
as she and Baehr discussed the
atrocities in Uganda while dining at a local restaurant. The two
decided to host an event to raise
funds for Mosaic, a local nonprofit organization devoted to
initiating sustainable projects for
peace and social justice in southern Sudan and Uganda. With the
help of Justin Holcomb, Holland’s
former professor and friend and
the founder of Mosaic, the two
Congratulations to
3L Tim St. George
on his recent engagement to Susan
Hoppenjans!
Congratulations to
2L Michelle Ferguson on her recent
engagement to Kyle
Stewart!
photo by Alec Zadek ’08
Elliott Klass ’08 and Tiana McLean ’09 stongly support the fundraising
efforts at “Move for Uganda.”
organized “Move for Uganda.”
In an interview with the Law
Weekly, Holland discussed the
event, which was held at the
Satellite Ballroom.
“We wanted this event to spotlight Mosaic and the work that
its directors are facilitating in
Uganda. I hope in the future that
more people will become interested in the situation there and
that this money will, in some
small way, help to rehabilitate
child soldiers who have managed to escape the Lord’s Resistance Army. The situation there
has wreaked havoc on the lives
of so many people, and it was a
wonderful experience to see so
many students here interested
in reaching out to help those in
Uganda.”
“The whole experience was
a surprising success for a firsttime venture,” added Baehr.
Holland and Baehr estimated that close to 180 people attended the dance, which raised
approximately $1,600. Complementing the work of Baehr and
Holland, the event was co-sponsored by the undergraduate fraternity Phi Gamma Delta and
Mosaic.
Retired O’Neil's Expertise Still in High Demand
Samson Habte ’09
Staff Writer
Professor Robert M. O’Neil, perhaps the nation’s foremost First
Amendment expert, is a busy man
– his alleged “retirement” last spring
notwithstanding.
He’s so busy that an interview with
the Law Weekly had to be scheduled
a week in advance, squeezed in between trips to Boston and D.C. And
when the interview was about to begin it was briefly delayed: another reporter was on the phone.
She wanted O’Neil’s opinion on a
situation at Yale, where school administrators are threatening to pull a controversial student art project unless
the artist admits she lied about artificially inseminating herself and inducing several miscarriages to produce
the work. The piece consists of a large,
plastic-wrapped cube splattered with
blood the student said she collected
around the time of her period, after
inducing the miscarriages; the cube is
to be suspended from a ceiling while
videos of her undergoing the miscarriages are projected on the cube and
the walls of an exhibition room. The
student maintains that the piece was
indeed real.
“Art departments have always been
around north
grounds
and must remain shelters for creativity which sometimes offends and often challenges,” said O’Neil, who still
teaches the First Amendment Clinic
and continues to serve as director of
the Thomas Jefferson Center for the
Protection of Free Expression, a nonprofit organization loosely affiliated
with UVA.
The “truthfulness” of the artistic
representation is immaterial and
should not be used by Yale as a pretext
for censoring expression, O’Neil said,
citing Caravaggio’s The Incredulity of
Saint Thomas (the 17th century portrait, O’Neil helpfully explained, depicts the apostle Thomas sticking his
finger in Jesus’ wounds – something
unsupported by the text of the Gospel
of John, on which the work is based).
O’Neil was uniquely qualified to
opine on the matter: he has been an
administrator as well as an educator,
having served as UVA’s sixth President from 1985-1990, so he knows
just about everything there is to know
about academic freedom and artistic
expression.
But his expertise is not limited
to those areas. Pick a First Amendment clause, any clause: Speech,
Press, Petition, Assembly, Exercise,
Establishment – bookshelves groan
under the weight of O’Neil’s writings in all these areas. (Listing his
accomplishments and employment
history would obliterate narrative
continuity … so just see the sidebar
to this article).
O’Neil’s passion for free speech
preceded his 1962 Supreme Court
clerkship, but it was furthered during that period. He clerked for Justice
William J. Brennan, who arguably
did more than any other justice to expand speech rights (authoring Roth v.
United States, New York Times v. Sullivan, and coining the phrase “chilling
effect”).
O’Neil’s unassailable credentials on
all things speech-related make him
a pretty good arbiter of egregious or
ridiculous acts of censorship, which
the TJ Center spotlights annually with
its “Jefferson Muzzle” awards. The
dubious distinctions, released around
the birthday of the nonprofit’s namesake, are given to “those who in the
past year forgot or disregarded Mr.
Jefferson’s admonition that freedom
of speech ‘cannot be limited without
being lost’.”
Recipients this year included,
among others: The New York State
Department of Motor Vehicles,
► O'NEIL page 3
Congratulations to
2L Preston Hartman on his engagement to Christine
Barkowski!
Congratulations 3L
Aaron Paul on winning the Charlottesville Marathon last
Saturday!
Thumbs up to the
last Law Weekly of
the year. Finally,
ANG can stop writing sophomoric jokes and finish work on ANG’s novel.
Thumbs up to Prof.
Collins’ Charge to
the Class. ANG had
you for Civ Pro and
would like you to know that
ANG got your Erie joke. So,
sleep well tonight.
Thumbs down to
the official beginning of exam period. Another exam
period, another chance for
ANG to totally flex ANGself. And yes, that is what is
sounds like.
Thumbs
up
to
the
overwhelming number of end
of the year bbq’s,
meetings, concerts and events
that people are squeezing
in before exams. ANG’s outlines are going to be written
between trough dives and
sets of a Sprinsteen concert.
Hopefully ANG’s corporations professor thinks it’s funny when ANG’s exam is saved
under the name “Murder Incorporated.”
Thumbs up to recent
trend of Law School
events related to
Uganda. Uganda is
so the new black.
Thumbs
up
to
the HRSP Shooting Trip. Seriously
guys, Assassins was
one thing, but a shooting trip?
You realize the second amendment isn’t really a “human
right”, right?
2
News & Features
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
► PLEDGE DRIVE
Jeffries Reflects on Years of Service as Dean
continued from page 1
Pledge Drive Going Strong
Frankie Jones.
There is no minimum amount
that participants must give, and
class members are asked give whatever they feel comfortable giving.
If your first paycheck doesn’t come
until August and you need it to buy
appliances, don’t worry. No money
is due until June 30, 2009. Pledge
members may peg their dollars to a
specific organization or activity at
the law school if they wish, or they
may simply make an unrestricted
pledge.
Last year, a record total of 7,643
alumni, or over 50% of all alumni,
directly donated $9.8 million out
of a total of $13.9 million in private
giving. A significant portion of this
accomplishment can be traced to
the enthusiastic participation of
young alumni. Private donations
provide funding for a myriad of
school benefits, including all of
the recent renovations, summer
research support, financial aid, library needs, student publications,
organizations, and more.
Year after year, UVA Law has
proudly led the nation in alumni support. This year, the drive
is led by Graduation Committee Co-Chairs Frankie Jones and
Kira Walmer along with 36 “class
agents.” With Director of Donor
Relations and Young Alumni Development Laura Pietro leading
the effort, the committee looks
to surpass last year’s pledge participation level of 92% with a new
goal of 93%. Currently, 55% of the
class has already pledged.
Every class member who pledges will receive friendly yearly notices from their class agent reminding them of their pledge. Because
pledges are collected on a fiscal
year calendars, pledging members
are asked to honor their pledges
by June 30 of each calendar year.
Third-years must submit their
pledge forms before graduation on
May 18.
From the Registrar
Initial course enrollment for next
year will occur in several lottery
rounds during July, followed by a
short add/drop period in early August. We are pleased to announce
that Law ITC has programmed some
needed enhancements into LawReg
that should be helpful: adds-tied-todrops, a wait list capability, and yearlong course enrollment in both semes-
ters. We will be building next year’s
schedule between now and mid-June
as well as planning the implementation of the new LawReg features. I
encourage you to monitor your UVa
e-mail accounts during June for periodic updates, instructions, tips, and
information regarding next year’s
schedule and course enrollment.
-Dean Cary Bennett
Virginia
Law Weekly
COLOPHON
COLOPHON
John C. Jeffries, Jr. is one of the
few people to have had the privilege of being a student, faculty
member, and dean at the University of Virginia School of Law. As a
student, Dean Jeffries earned the
Z Award for the highest academic
average, served as editor-in-chief
of the Virginia Law Review, and
received the Woods Prize for the
outstanding graduate. During his
years as a professor, he developed
his research and teaching interests in civil rights, federal courts,
criminal law, and constitutional
law. Before Dean Jeffries steps
down from his post as dean this
summer, he spent some time with
the Law Weekly reflecting on the
time he spent serving as the law
school’s 10th dean.
In contrast to students and professors, who can cement themselves within the walls of the law
school, Dean Jeffries said that
the dean’s role at the law school
requires a primarily external focus. While balancing obligations
to alumni and the central university, there is not as much time as
he would prefer to interact with
students and faculty members.
Therefore, while he loved being
dean, and reiterated that it is a
great job, he is ready to go back
to teaching. “I am leaving a job I
love to go back to a job I love,” he
said.
Dean Jeffries made it clear that
although the perks of the job are
nice, such as the freedom from
grading exams and the prestige
that comes with being the top administrator at the school, it was
something more that persuaded
him to take on the job: his commitment to the University of Virginia School of Law. He is not
interested in serving as dean of
other universities. UVA Law is his
permanent home, and he reiterat-
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Published weekly on Friday except during holiday and examination periods and serving the
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ed his devotion to the institution.
It is this commitment that made
him interested in being dean, for
in this capacity he could have a
hand in directing the future of
the Law School. “Plus,” said Dean
Jeffries, “it is fun to have people
pretend to listen to what you say
and act like it matters.”
Dean Jeffries had a sneak preview of the position when he assumed the role of acting dean in
the fall of 1999 while then-Dean
Bob Scott was visiting at Columbia. This experience introduced
him to expectations and responsibilities that come with serving as
dean. The most important aspect
of the position, said Dean Jeffries, is serving as a representative of UVA Law to alumni. Onethird of the law school’s budget
derives from private support, and
maintaining strong relations with
alumni will help ensure that such
support continues to play a major
role at the law school.
Dean Jeffries was quick to point
out an interesting trend in alumni
giving for this year’s graduating
class: the rate of new graduates
contributing to the law school has
increased dramatically in recent
years. Dean Jeffries was proud of
this high level of participation by
young graduates, realizing that
by donating, even while saddled
with school debt, the recent graduates were making a statement of
their support for the law school.
Dean Jeffries said this vote of confidence bolsters other alumni to
become more involved in the Law
School and is one of the reasons
for the overall high alumni participation.
When asked what the main
challenge was for the Law School,
the Dean answered without hesitation that it was the intense
competition for good faculty
members. While the law school
has hired great faculty members,
photo courtesy of law.virginia.edu
it has also lost a good number of
stellar academics. This is happening at most schools and is due to
several factors. First, the trend
towards having multiple jobs during one’s career has affected most
professional fields, including the
legal teaching profession. In addition, there has been a real renaissance in the interest in American
cities, and the surge in two-income families makes cities more
affordable since it is often easier
for both spouses to find jobs in an
urban area.
Luckily for UVA Law, Dean Jeffries will continue on as a professor at the school. This means
that the Class of 2010 will have a
chance to take classes with Dean
Jeffries during their third year.
In terms of how being dean will
change his teaching as a professor, Dean Jeffries paused before
saying, “It has been eight years
since I was teaching. There is a
lot of law I need to refresh myself
on.” While he has been getting
caught up in some segments of
civil rights law for his class this
semester, he feels he has plenty
of review left to do. With exams
right around the corner, many
students no doubt understand his
feelings.
► UGANDA
Craig Smith
Editor-in-Chief
Contributors:
Columnists:
Reviewer:
Friday, 25 April 2008
Phone: 434.924.3070
Fax: 434.924.7536
editor@lawweekly.org
www.lawweekly.org
EDITORIAL POLICY: The Virginia Law Weekly publishes letters and columns of interest to the Law
School and the legal community at large. Views expressed in such submissions are those of the author(s)
and not necessarily those of the Law Weekly or the Editorial Board. Letters from organizations must bear
the name, signature, and title of the person authorizing the submission. All letters and columns must
either be submitted in hardcopy bearing a handwritten signature along with an electronic version, or
be mailed from the author’s e-mail account. Submissions must be received by 5 p.m. the Monday before
publication and must be in accordance with the submission guidelines. Letters over 500 words and columns over 700 words may not be accepted. The Editorial Board reserves the right to edit all submissions
for length, grammar, and clarity. Although every effort is made to publish all materials meeting our
guidelines, we regret that not all submissions received can be published.
continued from page 1
Studies Focus on Less Publicized Aspects of Tragedy
have access to education—often because they are stigmatized and suffer
from discrimination, cannot afford
school fees, or are forced to serve as
parents to their younger siblings because their own parents have died.
Second-year Kristy Morgan spoke
on the related topic of domestic violence against women who are HIVpositive, recalling that during her
visit to clinics she heard many “horrifying” stories of women who were
beaten by their husbands for being
HIV-positive. Morgan also spoke with
members of the Ugandan parliament
about pending domestic violence legislation which, although not a perfect
solution, she believes represents a
step in the right direction.
Two of the presenters, third-years
Allissa Pollard and Michael Hollander, researched homosexuality
in Uganda. As in many third-world
countries, homosexuality is extremely stigmatized in Uganda.
“Uganda is a deeply conservative,
predominantly Christian society that
for a long time denied that there
were even gays in the country,” Pollard said, adding that the nation has
a long history of legal discrimination
against gays.
Pollard also leveled sharp criticism
at some aspects of America’s involvement in Uganda’s HIV crisis. “The US
has played a detrimental role here,”
she said. “A US program ... teaching
abstinence-only education ... has re-
sulted in a lack of information, especially for a population [referring to
homosexuals] that under Ugandan
law isn’t allowed to get married. This
has a negative overall impact on the
country.”
Two other speakers, including Koenig, discussed human rights issues related to the protracted war between
the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA),
comprised of Christian guerillas from
Northern Uganda and Sudan, and
the Ugandan People’s Defense Force
(UPDF), the military apparatus of
the Ugandan government. While
third-year Najah Farley studied the
plight of women in refugee camps in
the north of the country, Koenig examined efforts to establish a lasting
peace across the country. He noted
that while members of the LRA had
committed scores of well-documented atrocities, their counterparts at
the UPDF were equally guilty of war
crimes. In describing the worldwide
response, Koenig was decidedly unoptimistic about the recent International Criminal Court indictments of
top LRA commanders.
“Criminal prosecution by the ICC
of top LRA leaders will not come
close to achieving justice,” he said
seriously. “In fact, they may even be
counterproductive, because they are
one sided ... the leaders of the UPDF
will be getting off free.”
Two of the most interesting speakers focused on less publicized issues.
Third-year Devin Huseby gave a detailed and fascinating description of
the fractal real property system in
Uganda which, while undergoing reform, is still an amalgamation of remnants from the imperialist era, tribal
methods of ownership, and attempts
at direct government regulation.
Huseby concluded that the lack of
readily enforceable property rights,
coupled with the threat of global climate change, could exacerbate Uganda’s already dire food shortages.
The findings presented by thirdyear Matt Van Wormer were among
the most tragic. His research focused
on the Batwa people of Southwestern Uganda, an indigenous pigmy
group that had lived on their ancestral lands until the early 1990s, when
they were forcibly and sometimes
violently evicted, in part to protect
one of the last remaining habitats of
the near-extinct mountain gorilla.
Batwa people occupy the lowest stratum of Ugandan society; they often
end up as beggars in larger cities and
many have developed serious alcohol problems. There is a push to save
the Batwa and to “bring them into
harmony of the rest of Ugandan society,” but the transition from an agricultural to a monetary economy is
proving difficult. Van Wormer noted
that their language is fading fast and
it has become extremely difficult for
the Batwa to preserve their culture
and religion.
Friday, 25 April 2008
SBA Notebook: This Isn't 'Nam, People.
It's Law School. There Are Rules
Ryan Quillian ’09
SBA President
Every semester around exam time
we all get a little messy. We also sometimes neglect to extend to our fellow
students the common courtesies that
society recognizes as reasonable. As
a little pre-exam reminder, I’ve put
together some things that I hope we
can all keep in mind while we cram
for exams.
Library. This is an area of the
law school where tensions are probably highest. Please do your best to
accommodate your fellow law students. Along those lines, please do
not leave your belongings on tables
when you are going to be gone
more than an hour. This includes
leaving your stuff in the library
overnight—just don’t do it. You
shouldn’t have any problem finding
a place to study when you get back
in the morning, but even if you do,
WB152 has been reserved for law
student use during the entire exam
period. Additionally, there are power and extension cords available at
the circulation desk that should allow you to work at tables that don’t
have electrical outlets nearby. Finally, if you have problems with undergrads or other non-law students
in the library, please bring it to the
attention of the librarians rather
than approaching them yourselves.
While we may encourage vigilante
justice in other situations, confront-
ing people in the library should be
done by seasoned professionals.
Scott Commons. Leading up to
and during exams, students tend to
treat this area of the Law School with
less and less respect. They leave food
and trash all over the place assuming somebody else will clean up after
them. Let’s try to do a better job of
cleaning up after ourselves this year
so that everybody can enjoy this area
at all times.
Bathrooms. I’m assuming all of
us have been potty trained. However,
this may be a big assumption considering the state of some of the bathrooms during finals. Please flush the
toilets—twice, three times, whatever
it takes. It’s simple, easy, and eliminates odor.
Parking. Remember that parking restrictions remain in place
throughout the exam period. You
will not be able to get out of tickets for parking in D3 because there
were no spots in the Blue lot. Overflow parking is available at U-Hall
(with bus service to the law school)
and other places around campus.
For your reference, there is a map
outside the SBA office showing additional lots in which Blue permit
holders may park. Additionally, as
the e-mail sent by Dean Ballenger
on Wednesday said, there will be an
event at the Park from 12pm to 4pm
on Wednesday, April 30, that will
take up some blue parking spots, so
be sure to plan accordingly.
Outlines. This isn’t a common
courtesy issue, but I wanted to let
everybody know that the SBA Outline Bank is now bigger, faster, and
stronger. Check it out at the E-Services link on the SBA website (www.
virginiasba.com) or use this direct
link: http://www.virginiasba.com/
Eservices_ol.aspx. In addition to
downloading outlines to help you
prepare for finals, please upload your
outlines after finals are over so future
law students can have the aid of your
wisdom.
If you have any additional complaints/suggestions/questions during
finals, feel free to e-mail me (quillian@virginia.edu) or stop by the SBA
office (196e). I spend a lot of time in
that office.
Lastly, SBA wants to help you all
stay connected over the summer. If
you have yet to fill out an employment survey, you can find it in the
Career Services section of LawWeb.
We are using these results to compile
lists of who will be in each city. Over
the summer, the SBA Student-Alumni
Relations Committee will be planning
UVA-related events in cities all over
the country. If you have any questions
about these events or want to plan one
in your city, please get in touch with
the committee’s co-chairs, Minoo
Sobhani (mms9w@virginia.edu) and
Corey Neal (cnn4m@virginia.edu).
That’s all I’ve got. Good luck on
exams and have a great summer everybody.
► O’NEIL
continued from page 1
Muzzle Awards Spotlight Censorship
cited for its objection to a retired
police officer’s vanity license plate,
which read “GETOSAMA”; Lewis
Mills High School (Burlington, Vt.)
administrators, who refused to allow a student to run for school council because she wrote a blog posting
that referred to school officials as
“douchebags in central office,” and
who refused to let the student assume her position when she won as
a write-in candidate; Valdosta State
University President Ronald M.
Zaccari, who expelled a student environmental activist who had protested
the construction of two new campus
parking decks, labeling the student
a “clear and present danger” after he
posted a collage of pictures on Facebook that included photos of Zaccari,
a parking deck, a bulldozer excavating trees, and captions including “No
Blood for Oil” and “Zaccari Memorial
Parking Garage.”
“We awarded [Muzzles] to more
private, non-governmental entities
this year than in the past,” O’Neil
said. Among those entities, he noted
regrettably, was the 2007 Managing Board of The Cavalier Daily,
which earned its Muzzle for firing
cartoonist Grant Woolard after a
public uproar followed the publication of his controversial – and, truth
be told, unimaginative and unfunny
– cartoon “Ethiopian Food Fight,” a
single-panel comic depicting loinclothed, skinny black men attacking
each other with chairs, boots, sticks
and other non-foodstuffs. (Get it?
They don’t have any food!)
Joshua Wheeler, the executive director of the TJ Center, analogized
the Cavalier Daily incident to the firing of shock-jock Don Imus by CBS
Radio and MSNBC, two other Muzzle recipients. The chill on speech in
both cases was exacerbated by the
timing of the firings. “In both cases
Student Life & Features
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
they were fired only when the degree of public criticism went up,” said
Wheeler.
It is one thing to base such firings
on an initial judgment that they are
warranted, quite another to succumb
to the escalating heat of an agitated
public mob. “A democratic society
needs a free press willing to stand up
to public criticism,” read the Muzzle
citation.
The process for choosing Muzzle
recipients begins by scouring news
reports for candidates. The list is whittled from hundreds down to about 30
or 35, and is then forwarded to the TJ
Center’s Board of Trustees, an eclectic
group that includes Fox News’ Brit
Hume, actress Sissy Spacek and musician Boyd Tinsley.
Finalists are then given an opportunity to make the case that their actions have been misunderstood.
“They almost invariably start with
‘I’m a firm believer in the First Amendment’,” said Wheeler.
“Or, ‘I’m a lifetime member of the
ACLU’,” added O’Neil.
“Then comes the big ‘but . . . ’,” said
Wheeler.
Some prospective awardees simply don’t respond. Others, like a different DMV office which refused to
approve a vanity plate composed of
a family surname, can successfully
fend off the Muzzle by raising exculpatory defenses. “They convinced
us that the family name contained a
racially derogatory term,” explained
O’Neil.
Still others “respond in a way that
only reinforces our belief that they deserved one,” said O’Neil. That was the
case with the New York DMV, which
wrote a letter saying they had reversed course and offered to allow the
motorist to keep the “GETOSAMA”
vanity plate.
“That offer came only after he filed
his lawsuit, and only on the condition
that he drop the lawsuit,” said Wheeler. “And they did not tell me that in
the letter.”
Other nominees who choose not
to respond to the TJ Center have reacted to the awards after receiving
them. When former New York Mayor
Rudolph Giuliani was asked at a press
conference about how he felt about
receiving the TJ Center’s first Lifetime
Muzzle Award in 1999 (listing his offenses would also obliterate narrative
continuity), he responded: “Oh, that’s
just some out of control advocacy
group.”
Rep. Peter King (R-NY), recipient of a 2007 Muzzle for calling
for the prosecution of New York
Times reporters who disclosed the
government’s covert, warrantless
surveillance program, said his only
gripe was that he hadn’t received an
actually trophy, medal or certificate.
“If they give me a medal, I’ll wear it,”
King said. “They’re using my good
name to boost their popularity, and
they’re too cheap to even give me an
award . . . I’m really waiting for [a
trophy].”
The TJ Center has awarded the
Muzzles every year since 1992,
Wheeler noted, and while some
recipients have “take[n] issue with
our interpretation,” the organization has never “been faulted for
factual inaccuracies or for being
unfair.”
O’Neil modestly added that the
Board of Trustees has never seen fit to
take out liability insurance to protect
against potential libel claims in connection with the awards.
That is probably attributable to
their assumption that Bob O’Neil can
identify the contours of the actual
malice standard applicable to statements about public figures . . . which
is a pretty good assumption.
3
Law Weekly Through the
Decades: 1998-2007
Law Weekly Staff
[Editor's Note: The Virginia
Law Weekly, founded in 1948, is
enjoying its 60th year of publication. This is the last in a series of
six articles looking back at the
events, milestones, controversies,
and student life chronicled in the
Law Weekly's pages.]
As the Law Weekly charged
into the new millennium, its
coverage of the Law School community included reports of new
highs, new lows, and new babies.
As for the highs, UVA Law
scored a personal best in its US
News rankings in 1999 when
the school topped out at number seven. The bump in rank no
doubt had something to do with
the prior year’s addition of a junior faculty member who was
amusingly believed to be a new
student during 1L orientation.
Caleb Nelson has no doubt spent
the past decade overwhelming
students with his intellect to it
eminently clear that he is indeed
a member of the faculty and we
are most certainly not.
The decade did see its share
of more serious controversy,
however. Crime shot up on the
Law School’s grounds, most infamously with the 1999 theft of
the popular-but-jarring “Couples” oil painting, nicknamed
“Hell Hounds” by the student
body. The Law Weekly’s subsequent coverage of the incident,
as well as a closer examination
of security at the school in general, raised the salience of crime
as a topic of discussion amongst
student body. Despite this attention, thefts continued over
the next year, as glass tabletops,
lamps, chairs and rugs were all
among items stolen from the law
school.
Citing security concerns, the
administration finally decided
to restrict access to the building
in 2000, resulting in the card
readers for after-hours access
we have today. Student letters
to the paper demonstrated a
general willingness to sacrifice
“historical law School amenities
like 24 hour open access, extensive tree lined streets, and lush
landscaping in order to provide
enhanced security for students
and staff.”
Perhaps the zaniest piece of
news during the decade involved
a baby switching controversy in
1998. After the University’s hospital gained national notoriety
by accidentally switching two
babies shortly after birth, a local attorney solicited UVA Law
students to help in the pending
litigation against the hospital.
This was swiftly followed by a
response from the UVA Rector,
John P. Ackerly III, “I would
hope law students would think
twice before taking a case that
might be adverse to the University.” While that story eventually faded away, the Law School
again found itself in entangled
in another national controversy
when Professor Richard Bonnie
agreed to represent the Unabomber the following year.
Not every story published
that decade garnered such
off-grounds attention. For example, the Law Weekly covered
one event in 1999 that few others did: the opening of Waffle
House in Charlottesville. Other
tidbits featured in the archives
reveal that the sound of chiming
bells heard at the Law School is
actually piped in via fiber optic
phone cables lthat transmit the
sounds from real bells in the
Chapel on Central Grounds.
Waffles and chimes received
universal praise; other articles
did not, however. In 2000 the
Law Weekly opened the year
with a bombshell article suggesting biases in the dean selection
process. An anonymous source
questioned whether the dean
search committee was stacked
in favor of then-Professor John
C. Jeffries, Jr. at the expense of
an external candidate. The following week’s paper featured a
fierce rebuttal from professors
and students defending the traditional dean search method. In
retrospect, the hiring of Jeffries
seems to have worked out okay.
A few policies that now seem
mundane were instituted in the
beginning of this decade. A new
research credit option was made
available for second- and thirdyear students to work on joint
projects with faculty members
in 2002, and early admissions
made its first appearance in
2004 as part of an administrative decision to increase the Law
School’s admissions yield.
In 2005 Martha Ballenger assumed the position of Assistant
Dean of Student Affairs, the
same year that West Publishing
contracted with Professor Leslie to assume the marketing and
sales of his self-created CaseFiles. Finally, in 2006 the Law
"I would hope
law students
would think
twice before
taking a case
that might be
adverse to the
University.”
-John C. Ackerly III,
UVA Rector
School welcomed students from
Tulane and LSU in part of its response to Hurricane Katrina.
The past sixty years have seen
many changes at the University
of Virginia School of Law. We’ve
changed buildings, diversified
our student body, and raised
tuition. One constant, however,
has been the presence of the Law
Weekly chronicling the controversies and triumphs that have
helped define this law school.
The 2008-17 decade will undoubtedly present a new set of
challenges to this community,
and just as undoubtedly, the
Law Weekly will report on these
events of the day. Always weekly. Mostly pertinent. Sometimes
insightful. Usually inaccurate.
4
Columns
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Friday, 25 April 2008
Feeling Better: The Good, the Bad, the Unmarried
One freezing cold night in December of 2004, I was curled up in
a ball in the St. Elizabeth’s emergency room in Boston with four
Natalie Blazer ’08
Columnist
doctors hovering
over me. I had just
been transferred
to the hospital
after a week in my university’s infirmary, where nobody was sure
what was wrong with me. All that
was apparent was that I was severely jaundiced (all the nurses
who walked by did a double-take;
later they would call me Lisa, as
in Simpson) and I couldn’t stop
throwing up. Earlier that evening,
the campus physician had told me
he would call my cell phone to
make sure I got to the ER all right.
So when my phone rang displaying
an unknown number, despite the
fact that at that precise moment I
was being hooked up to an IV and
crying uncontrollably (I hate needles), I answered:
“Hello, is this Natalie Blazer?” a
female voice asked.
“Yes,” I croaked.
“Hi, Natalie! I am calling from
the University of Virginia School of
Law to tell you that you have been
accepted! Congratulations!”
“I’m in the emergency room,” I
sobbed. “I can’t talk right now.”
“Oh, dear! Well I hope you feel
better before the fall!” she sang,
and hung up.
For some perverse reason, I like
to think of that moment as the official beginning of my law school
career. Luckily for me (and for my
spleen—I had a very extreme case
of mono), things have only gotten
better since then. By that I mean,
things have pretty much stayed the
same, but my spleen is no longer as
big as an NFL regulation-sized football, and aside from that medical
journal that got sent to my parents’
house using my freakishly severe
illness as a study, I can pretend the
whole thing never happened. Now
I know what you’re thinking: how
perfect! The “relationship” columnist afflicted with the “kissing
disease!” But as it turns out, embarrassingly, during the so-called
“incubation period,” I hadn’t actually kissed anyone: it seems I got
mono from an ice luge (now if only
I had been the evil genius who
came up with that vile invention,
I might never have made it to law
school. But of course I wasn’t, so of
course I did, and thus now I would
like to remember some of those law
school moments, or at least I’d like
to pretend that events transpired
here in such a way that they can be
characterized by semester, because
I find it makes for easier reading).
As a 1L, I had a charmed life.
Two of my best friends from high
school came here at the same time
I did; I lived with one of them
and was miraculously placed in
the same first-year section as the
other. Never one to eschew a law
school stereotype, I got called on
by Dean Jeffries on the first day of
Criminal Law and had a crush on
two out of my three male Peer Advisors. Less predictably, that fall I
also suffered from unrequited love,
tasted sweet victory in the 1L softball tournament, and embarked on
a whirlwind romance that would
haunt me well into my final days in
Charlottesville.
In the spring of 1L year, I experienced the agony that is journal
tryouts. Not coincidentally, I also
discovered the joy that is Feb Club.
Aside from making me miss my
first class of law school, Feb Club
also gave me the gift of travel, in
that I bought a plane ticket to Austin in the wee hours one February
morning (I believe it was postSnow Pants or No Pants, but don’t
quote me on that). As I found out
in the (far too bright) light of the
next day, the ticket was non-refundable. Thus, I ended up having
photo courtesy of Natalie Blazer
It's been an exciting few years, but the closing ceremonies are around the
corner for Blazer and company.
a lovely (albeit unexpected) weekend in Texas with a similarly Feb
Club-impulse-prone sectionmate.
That spring I also drove to the Gulf
Coast to do Hurricane Katrina relief and found out that I would be
working at the war crimes tribunal
in Bosnia for the summer. But this
is my farewell column, so let’s skip
mere frivolities, shall we?
Moving right along, I soon found
out that 2L year was all about
change. Some bad (seeing boys
running around sweating in their
suits the first few weeks), some
good (seeing boys running around
sweating in their suits the first few
weeks). Ivy Gardens pre- and postparties were a thing of the past (at
least until I became a 3L). People
were making new friends, getting
new jobs, joining new clubs. That
fall was full of football games, feelings, and frustration. I watched a
lot of ESPN and developed a fondness for red Gatorade.
2L spring, on the other hand,
was full of surprises. I learned that
I could write a 94-page paper and
not kill myself. I learned that, if the
people involved are funny enough,
a relationship really can be cultivated via e-mail. And, although
this should not have been a “surprise,” I learned that Buddhist is a
decision-making black hole (and
also that “angry bear” shots are the
most genius-ly vile creation since
the ice luge).
Then we have the summer after
2L year, which I like to think of as
an exercise in excess. From $100
lunches to limo service to keeping up with two very determined,
tequila-loving West Villagers, I am
simply happy to have made it out
alive. A month spent in the Paris
office was a welcome respite, as I
could eat lettuce every day and go
to Nice by myself for the weekend.
As I had developed a strong aversion to European men the previous
summer, it was indeed a solitary
(and lovely) existence.
Thus I entered 3L fall with a southof-France tan and a few bucks in my
bank account, eager to spend them
on Charlottesville-priced items. It
was a wonderful yet feverish era;
everybody was so excited to be back
and yet acutely aware of the dwindling time we had left. Think of it
this way: when you’re a 1L or 2L and
you’ve got your eye on someone, you
usually keep it to yourself, figuring
that everything will work out with
time. 3L year you have no time. 3L
year is when you make your feelings
known, whatever the consequences.
3L year it is acceptable for your first
question to a guy be “are you married?” because you can’t even afford
to continue that conversation if he is.
My senior year of college (long
after I had recovered from mono),
my friends and I organized a Beer
Olympics. The competition kicked
off with a pitcher-chug, followed by
four-person teams competing in flip
cup, beer pong, quarters and tricycle races at various stations in our
backyard, all at the same time. That
is the closest I can come to summarizing 3L spring. Except without all
the different nations’ flags hanging
everywhere or the bronze-plated
forty my team won for third place
(Vamanos, México!), but seeing as
it’s an Olympic year I thought the
analogy was semi-appropriate.
Alas, as I sit here in the Starbucks on the Corner on a beautiful
spring day, looking out the window
and watching people pick through
the Virginia gear outside of Mincer’s, while also trying to fulfill yet
another law school stereotype of
sitting in a coffee shop typing furiously on my laptop, I realize that
I really will miss it here. Enough
girls have passed by in sundresses
for me to have already had one
panic attack that today was Foxfields and I accidentally missed it.
Enough boys have passed by wearing khakis and Croakies for me to
have considered asking at least two
of them if they were married. And
enough time has passed that I have
realized it’s time to get up, pack up
my bundle computer that I predict
to die precisely three years from its
purchase date, and go home.
Email: nrb5x@virginia.edu
PILA would like to congratulate all of the 2008 summer grant recipients.
Aaron Esty
Alane Ballweg
Alice Beauheim
Amanda Muller
Amy Saltzman
Andrew Johnson
Andrew Stockment
Barbara Colberg
Benjamin Holley
Brendan Radke
Bridget Joyce
Caroline Klosko
Christopher Dumler
Christopher McCoy
Christopher Schoen
Christy Weisner
Corrie Sirkin
Dan Sullivan
Daniel Perell
David Roberts
Dawn Miller
Eitan Goldstein
Elisabeth Custalow
Elizabeth Norton
Eric K. Gerard
Eric Penley
Erin Crowgey
Gabe Walters
George Milam
Ian Hiatt
Jaclyn Paolucci
Jamie Lea Schoen
Jason McKim
Jennifer Jessie
Jessica DeVera
Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Newark –
Immigration Services
U.S. Attorney’s Office – Alaska
Embassy of Ethiopia – Geneva, Switzerland
U.S. Attorney’s Office – District of Massachusetts
Public Defender Services, Juvenile Trial –
Washington, D.C.
National Labor Relations Board – Region 3
Legal Services of Northern Virginia
U.S. Attorney’s Office – Washington, D.C.
U.S. Attorney’s Office – San Diego
U.S. Attorney’s Office – Portland, ME
Legal Aid Justice Center, Child Advocacy Program
Atlanta Legal Aid
Orange & Greene County Commonwealth’s
Attorney’s Office
Illinois State Appellate Defender – 2nd District
International Justice Mission – Chenai, India
Dept. of Commerce, Office of Chief Counsel
for Industry and Security
Rutherford Institute
Legal Aid Justice Center, Immigration Clinic
United Nations Office for Recovery Coordination of
Aceh and Nias
Commonwealth’s Attorney – Charlottesville; Supreme
Court of Virginia, Office of the Chief Staff Attorney
Department of Justice, Office of Special Investigations
International Rescue Committee – Washington, D.C.
Animal Legal Defense Fund, Florida
Anti-Corruption Commission, Sierra Leone
Philadelphia District Attorney’s Office
U.S. Attorney’s Office – District of Maine
Legal Aid Justice Center, JustChildren
ACLU Foundation – New York
Greenville Office of the Public Defender –
South Carolina
Blue Ridge Legal Services
Virginia Capital Representation Resource Center
International Justice Mission – Chenai, India
Legal Aid Justice Center, Institutionalized
Persons Project
Oliver Hill Foundation – Washington, D.C.
Legal Services of Northern Florida – Tallahassee
Jill Sager
John M. Layfield
Jonathan Brent
Jordan Feit
Jose Masini
Katherine Lydon
Kathleen Doherty
Katie Worden
Kelly Hendry
Kelly Hodges
Kenneth Duvall
Kristen Carothers
Kyle Wamstad
Leigh Miller
Lindsey Bartlett
Matthew Prince
Mitch McGuffey
Molly Kubiak
Nikolena Moysich
Patricia Cooper
Patrick Mott
Phil Storey
Preston Hartman
Rebecca Vallas
S. Mario Lorello
Sara Wood
Sarah McCracken
Stefanee Handon
Steven Garrett
Steven Gould
Susan Edwards
Tamara Fishman
Thomas Krepp
Victoria E. Neely
W. David Sims
William Mann
Zach Carter
Zach Williams
TBA
Legal Aid Justice Center, Child Advocacy Program
U.S. Army Judge Advocate General’s Corps
MFY Legal Services, Inc.
Legal Aid Justice Center, Child Advocacy Program
United States Attorney’s Office – Washington, D.C.
Native American Rights Fund – Anchorage
Public Defender’s Office of Alexandria, Virginia
Commonwealth’s Attorney – Albemarle County
Sierra Club, California
Department of Justice, Overseas Prosecutorial
Development, Assistance and Training
Central Virginia Legal Aid Society
Legal Aid Justice Center, Civil Advocacy Program
Women’s Legal Center, South Africa
Legal Aid Justice Center, JustChildren or Advocacy
New Hampshire Legal Assistance
Fulton County Public Defender’s Office
Philadelphia District Attorney’s Office
Community Law Center, Small Business Unit:
Youth Entrepreneurship Initiative
Department of Justice, Arlington Immigration Court
U.S. Attorney’s Office – Southern District of New York
Legal Aid Justice Center, Immigrant Advocacy Program
Colorado Attorney General, Appellate Division
Community Legal Services – Philadelphia
Commonwealth’s Attorney – Alexandria
South Brooklyn Legal Services
Manhattan District Attorney’s Office
Office of the Federal Public Defender – 4th Circuit
Office of Fair Housing & Equal Opportunity –
Washington, D.C.
U.S. Attorney’s Office – Western District of Virginia
U.S. Attorney’s Office – Washington, D.C.
U.S. Attorney’s Office – Washington, D.C.
Manhattan District Attorney’s Office
Santa Cruz Supreme Court, Family Law Facilitator
Charlottesville Commonwealth Attorney’s Office
Department of Justice, Office of Deputy Attorney
General
Southern Environmental Law Center
U.S. Attorney’s Office – Eastern District of Virginia
Columns
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Friday, 25 April 2008
5
Final Musings of a Three-Time Web Editor
“Brandy, you’re a fine girl
What a good wife you would be
But my life, my lover, my lady
Is the sea.” – Looking Glass
John Sheehan ’08
Web Editor
You know that
old song “Brandy” by the ’70s
pop group Looking Glass? It’s about a seaman
(grow up) rebuffing a barmaid
for his true love, the sea. In fact,
there is an excerpt from it at the
top of this column. I can’t believe you missed that. I will meet
you down at the next paragraph
while you read over it.
Okay. When I was asked to
write this farewell column, I had
a number of thoughts like, “Jesus, didn’t I just write a column
a week or two ago?” and “Farewell column? I have all the passwords to the website, I can keep
uploading my columns for years
and they can’t do a damn thing
about it.” But most importantly,
I thought of “Brandy” and the
popular wistful refrain, “My life,
my lover, my lady is the sea.”
At the Law School, my life, my
lover, my lady has always been
the Law Weekly. Well, arguably
I have had two lives, lovers and
ladies: the Law Weekly and the
Libel Show. In fact, I probably
dedicated a substantially larger
portion of my time to the latter, so in theory, the Law Weekly
might actually be Brandy in the
analogy, but let’s just keep moving.
The Law Weekly was the first
student group I joined. I had just
left a job loading online content
and they needed someone who
knew how to upload content online. If that’s not serendipity, I
do not know what is. (I doublechecked online. That is what
serendipity is.)
Though not necessary to my
web-editing functions, I began
dropping by the weekly meetings for the pizza and the chance
to rub elbows with the school’s
literati and journalistic elites. I
have many fond memories of our
bold and decisive Editor-in-Chief
Lee Kolber, his right-hand man
and eventual successor John Kabealo, and the opinionated, but
loveable, Jimmy Thunder. At the
end of the year, I was given a
framed colophon that listed me
as a proud member of the team;
the gesture touched me more
than it reasonably should have.
During my second-year, a passionate love triangle emerged
as the Libel Show began to steal
me away from the Law Weekly
offices. As so many eligible and
reasonably attractive girls have
found, there’s only so much Sheehan to go around. In my stead, I
recruited my former roommate
Alec to join the paper knowing one day he would reshape
the News Section into something wonderful, nay sublime.
At elections near the end of the
year, I ran for Associate Columns Editor, one of the sixteen
most prestigious positions in
the Law Weekly world. I ran on a
platform of seniority and, more
importantly, not wanting to web
edit anymore. Alas, victory was
not to be mine. I lost to a rakish
upstart named Michael Warner.
After crying bitter, bitter tears, I
vowed to get my revenge. (I hope
you enjoyed the bee costume
and the quick costume changes,
asshole!)
But all was not sorrow and
sadness. At our end of the year
barbecue, I received another
framed colophon. It was pretty
cool. To be honest there was
some diminishing returns on it,
but still I plan on raising holy
hell if I don’t get one at the end
of this year as well.
Third-year, the gradual movement apart continued. Some
people claimed that the paper
didn’t get loaded online quite as
often or as quickly as it had in
the past. Some said I had lost a
step. For months, I tried to deny
it, playing through injuries and
hiding the truth. My friend and
colleague Andrew Christensen
Virginia Paw Review Winner!
Cooper ’09
tried to cover for me, not letting others know the shadow of
a web editor that I had become.
But you can only run so long
and so far (I can only run about
three miles). At elections this
year, I finally renounced my web
editor-ship. I believe I was the
paper’s first web editor, as well
as the only three-term web editor. That is a record which, for
his own sake, I hope my successor does not break.
But why do I keep rambling on
about web editing you ask? Most
of you probably know me for my
columns, not for the many hours
I sat alone in the office hitting
CTRL-C and CTRL-V over and
over again. Well, maybe for the
same reason other third-years
are writing their farewells about
their columns, or their softball
teams, or their sexual conquests
(hey Natalie!), because it was
important to them. In a place
where everyone is well above
average, we all have a need to
feel unique or special. I think
we can all agree anyone who
would agree to do this job for
three years must be very special
indeed.
Early on, I discovered one of
the more annoying parts of the
job. Normally, the paper is supposed to go online on Friday
morning when the physical paper comes out at the school. If I
dared sleep past 9:30 on a Friday, I would receive angry, rude
emails from alums who wanted
to read the latest Around North
Grounds. At the time, I could not
believe how lame that sounded.
Now, after three years of UVA
Law, three years of law and outlining, Feb Club and friends,
Libel and Law Weekly, I understand those alums who wanted
so badly to feel reconnected in
some small way. For three years,
I helped them do that, and now
sadly I join their obnoxious, demanding ranks.
Thank you so much to everyone past and present at the Law
Weekly.
Oh yeah . . .
SECTION D, bitches!
Email: jss9b@virginia.edu
photo by Jason McKim '10
If the bee costume was out of revenge, then why is Sheehan wearing a
Santa suit?
Lawweekly.org
Lost your print edition of the paper? Want to read the latest controversial satire about beer and softball but feel like opening a newspaper in class is a little too conspicuous? Surf on by www.lawweekly.org
and enjoy all the latest Law School news brought to you courtesy of
columnist John Sheehan and current Web Editor Nick Nelson.
35--%2*/"3
7ORKWITHPEOPLEYOUROWNAGE
,OCALLONGDISTANCEMOVING
nPERHOUR
4RAINING"ONUSES
Congratulations to Cooper, owned by Kathryn Fleming,
winner of the 3 rd Annual Paw Review Competition! VALS
would like to thank all the pets and their people who
participated in this year’s Paw Review pet photo contest.
It was enormously successful thanks to the enthusiasm
and generosity of the students who donated, and those
who pressured their friends to donate! We had a ton of
adorable contenders this year, and collectively raised a
total of $695.45. VALS will donate $600 of the Paw Review proceeds to the Animal Protection Litigation Section of The Humane Society of the United States.
WWWSTUDENTSERVICESMOVINGCOM
6
Columns
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Friday, 25 April 2008
Ask Kyle and Andy: The 2 Fast 2 Furious Edition or: How we Learned to Stop
Worrying and Enjoy Law School
A: So . . .
K: Yep . . .
A: I guess this is it.
Andy Clayton ’08
Columnist
K: Things are
winding
down
and 1L’s are
ramping up,
Kyle Schindler ’08
Columnist
A: And Kyle
and I are busily amassing the
Ultimate Finals
Youtube Collection.
K: I just watched an Anaconda
vomit a baby hippo.
A: (sighs wistfully) How symbolic, just like the circle of life at
UVA Law.
K: For our final column, we
are going to offer totally unsolicited advice without reverting
to lame, thinly disguised aliases
of our friends.
A: It’s too bad, though, because we had a great “adultcontent” piece planned about
Daiquiri Atoms and Long Blond
Vail.
K. And about the intrigues of
our friend Sarah with Locke.
A: Such clever punsters ne’er
passed through these wood-paneled halls, and the names were
never Googleable. So you can
thank us for your still intact careers.
K: (dusts it off) To be perfectly frank, we’re savvy. I know, I
know.
A: But this week we’re cutting
right to the chase, Johnson.
K: And as always, we’ve packaged it in bite-sized nuggets to
make it easier for all the anti-intellectuals to digest.
A: First, GOOD ADVICE WE’RE
GLAD WE DIDN’T GET BEFORE
WE NEEDED IT, OTHERWISE
KNOWN AS STUPID THINGS
THAT WERE A LOT OF FUN:
K: We had enough for an entire
column, so we tried to choose
the highlights.
A. One, don’t submit pictures
of your friends to a “hottest law
student” contest.
K: Hold on, you didn’t do that.
Whose picture would you have
submitted? I mean, really?
A: Okay, you’re right, don’t
submit pictures of your professor to a “hottest law school professor” contest.
K: I could get lost in Dean Ryan’s eyes forever.
A: Next, don’t hook up or get
romantically involved with your
good friends. That’s only going
to get messy, and also emotionally difficult for the people involved.
A: Ooh, ooh, me again. Don’t
get blitzed on Saturday before
your first 1L exam on a Monday.
No, seriously, don’t. That was a
bad idea.
K: Don’t wear an outfit out in
public you aren’t comfortable
with the entire world, including
future employers, seeing (in the
Law Weekly on OGI day).*
A:
Gorgeous homemade
Christmakuh turtlenecks, however, are always appropriate.
K: But sketchy facial hair
should be grown at your own
risk.
A: Avoid narcissistic references to your own exploits in public
fora.
K: And never disrespect your
roommate’s privacy: Pods and
Pans!!!
Next,
GOOD
ADVICE
LEARNED THROUGH OTHERS’
MISTAKES:
A: First, if you’re going to get
into a fight with another guy,
never utilize the open-handed
slap.
K: You will never live that
down
A: Next, do not stand in the
front row of a law school band
concert without proper facial
heat protection.
K: It will, I repeat, it WILL
melt off.
A: Note, pulling your shirt up
over your face will not do the
job.
K: Also, thank God we didn’t
make Law Review.
A: Or any journals for that
matter.**
K: Finally, farewell columns
are not the appropriate medium
for public declarations of love.
A: Or for that matter, any display of sincerity.
entire state of South Carolina
over to watch the game.
A: Hey, you leave Cocky and
his eccentric fashion stylings out
of this.
K: Stayed out of crushing
debt. Oops. Good thing I got a
Sugar Mama.
A: Dated an undergraduate
cheerleader.
K: Well you still would have,
but she would’ve had cankles.
A: Ridden a whinnying stick
horse at Foxfield.
K: North-tapped the 13th hole
at Birdwood.
A: That drive went so far, it
sailed through the fairway and
into the bush, man.
K: Championed the opportunity to enjoy the outdoors.
A: Without ever actually going
hiking.
K: Created a chic, satin-upholstered lounge in our basement.
A: And enjoyed the, um, comforts, of said lounge.
A:
Finally, THINGS WE
WOULD’VE NEVER DONE HAD
WE NOT GONE TO UVA:
K: Roomed with a future Supreme Cou. . .
A: Who are we kidding? We
would’ve lived with like five of
them, a rich venture capitalist,
and some person knighted for
saving poor starving children
from some deadly parasite.
K: Watched a LOT of TV outside, especially on Saturdays in
the fall.
A: Our lawn still has a bare
spot from Kyle’s croquet mallet. Evidently, he expresses both
excitement and displeasure like
John Adams at the First Continental Congress.
K: At least I don’t dress up a
rooster like Zorro and invite the
K: And now, PARTING ADVICE
for the youngsters at home.
A: Be nicer to your 4Ls than
we were.
K: Associate Feb Club in Atlanta is looking more and more
attractive by the day.
A: Like it or not, we’re coming
back to visit next year.
K: A LOT.
A: You won’t know when and
you won’t know where.
K: But just when you least expect it, we’ll be there.
A: Show us some sympathy.
K: Or pity.
A: And remember, your 3L
year will fly.
K: So sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight.
A: And leave no costume unworn, no class unskipped.
THE UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA SCHOOL OF LAW
AND THE
Kyle and Andy provide questionable advice as they ride off into the
sunset
K: No meat on that bone, no
gimme not taken.
A: No drunken feelings unexpressed, no dead horse unbeaten.
K: No cakes on the griddle
and no ducks on the pond.
A: And remember, in the
words of Dan Quayle, if you
don’t succeed,
K: You run the risk of failure.
* See, e.g., Furry Sexy Reindeer, Captain Planet the Weaker,
Lobster Hat in CivPro, Apocalippz the Sexy Roller Derby Dominatrix, The Mime, Don’t Hassel
the Hoff, Bierhaus Leiderhosen
Boy, Will Rogers the Foxfield
Cowboy with Whinnying Stick
Horse, Onesie Pajama, speedos
galore, Skelator at PILA, Daft
Punk,
Cross-dressing
Daisy
Duke/Dude in ripped jean miniskirt, Ian Poulter.
**Despite not completing tryouts we both got offers from the
Sports and Entertainment Law
Journal.
Emails: kms9wj@virginia.edu
asc7w@virginia.edu
THE UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA SCHOOL OF LAW
AND THE
MORTIMER CAPLIN PUBLIC SERVICE CENTER
MORTIMER CAPLIN PUBLIC SERVICE CENTER
Congratulate the following members of the Class of 2008
for completing 75 or more hours of pro bono while in law school:
DANIEL F. ALLISON
ERICKA ALONSO
REBECCA P. BARNES
JEFFREY B. BENDER
JANET M. BOYSEN
K. CARY BREGE
MEGAN K. CALLAHAN
JENNIFER M. CARPENTER
TIFFANY E. CLEMENTS
ELIZABETH C. COE
JENNIFER L. DACOSTA
DANIA C. DAVY
BRENDAN O. DIGNAN
MICHAEL J. ENGLE
JAMES W. EVANS
NAJAH A. FARLEY
RYAN S. FAULCONER
ALISON L. FERGUSON
KATHERINE P. FLATLEY
NICOLE FLATOW
KRISTIN E. FLOOD
JOSEPH L. FOWLER
HEATHER N. FUGITT
VERA V. GERRITY
RYAN J. GREECHER
MICHELLE HARRIS
JAMES R. HARVEY
KENNETH B. HICKMAN
MICHAEL G. HOLLANDER
photo by Andy Clayton ’08
CHU-YUAN HWANG
TIFANI M. JONES
TIMOTHY F. KENNEDY
LAUREN J. KING
ADERONKE A. LAWAL
JOSEPHINE LIU
LISA M. LORISH
ADAM S. LOVELADY
DAVID S. MORDKOFF
SINEAD O’DOHERTY
KRISTIN PADGETT
KELLY E. PHIPPS
JULIA D. PIZZI
ANDREA E. RENALDI
JAMES P. ROBINSON
JUSTIN M. ROSS
RENADA R. RUTMANIS
SHARON E. RYE
V. KATHLEEN SCHLEETER
COLEEN P. SCHOCH
REBEKAH R. SHAPIRO
DANIEL P. SHEAN
NATALIE N. SHONKA
KATHRYN J. SKAGERBERG
BRIAN J. TIEMANN
MATTHEW T. VANWORMER
KIRA L. WALMER
AMY L. WOOLARD
Congratulate the Class of 2008 Public Service Graduates
JAMES S. C. BAEHR
United States Marine Corps (Quantico, VA)
HALLET R. BRAZELTON
U.S. House of Representatives Office of the Legislative Counsel
(Washington, DC)
K. CARY BREGE
Advocates for Children’s Services (Durham, NC)
Equal Justice Works Fellow, Buffett Fellow
MIKA S. CLARK
Federal Trade Commission Bureau of Competition (Washington, DC)
JOSEPH W. CLOUD
Atlanta Area District Attorney’s Office (Atlanta, GA)
ELIZABETH COE
Orleans Public Defenders (New Orleans, LA)
PATRICIA E. DANGELO
Immigration Law (Charlottesville, VA)
DANIA C. DAVY
Land Loss Prevention Project (Durham, NC)
Skadden Fellow
KATE FLATLEY
The Center for Disease Control Global AIDS Program for Central
America and Panama/Anacafe (Guatemala City, Guatemala)
Leigh Fellow, Corcoran Award
ADAM A. GORDON
San Diego County District Attorney’s Office (San Diego, CA)
MICHAEL HOLLANDER
Community Legal Services of Philadelphia (Philadelphia, PA)
Skadden Fellow
J. PATRICK ROBINSON
United States Army JAG Corps (Charlottesville, VA)
KATHRYN J. SKAGERBERG Harris County District Attorney’s Office (Houston, TX)
VAROUJ SYMONETTE
The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse
(New York, NY)
MATT VANWORMER
DNA-People’s Legal Services (Shiprock, NM)
Skadden Fellow, Fairstein Fellow, Corcoran Award
TYLER WELTI
Department of Justice Honors Program: Environmental Natural
Resources Division (Washington, DC)
AMY L. WOOLARD
JustChildren, Legal Aid Justice Center (Richmond, VA)
Powell Fellow, Fairstein Fellow, Buffett Fellow
7
Reviews
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Friday, 25 April 2008
Mike’s Oscars: The Movies for the Class of ’08
Mike Lecaroz ’08
Reviewer
For my final Law Weekly review, I submit my picks for the
films, actors, and directors that
defined the world of film from
August 2005 to May 2008, a time
that we were all distracted trying
to survive law school.
Best Supporting Actress: Cate
Blanchett
Coming off of an Oscar win
and a significant role in the Lord
of the Rings trilogy, Blanchett has
earned three Oscar nominations
in three years. My favorite was
I’m Not There, a rendition of Bob
Dylan’s greatest hits masquerading as a deconstruction of the
Dylan myth. Her contribution
was a pitch-perfect impression
of Dylan at his most popular and
controversial in the mid-1960s.
Her presence as a Soviet villainess in the Indiana Jones’ trailers
only promises more for the future.
photo courtesy of irlook.net
Runner-up: Katherine Keener
was sexy and funny in 40-YearOld Virgin, understated in Capote, and sort of in between in Into
the Wild. In Friends with Money,
a female-centric look at modern
marriage and family starring Jennifer Aniston, Keener out-acted
the former sitcom mega-star to
the point of embarrassment.
Best Documentary: The Aristocrats
Unfortunately, I did not see all
the popular documentaries on
fill-in-the-favorite-liberal-cause
(global warming, the tragedy of
Iraq, and baby penguins). But The
Aristocrats, in which dozens of famous and less famous comedians
tell the same dirty joke is nothing
if not an affirmation of the First
Amendment. I saw it with two of
my new section-mates during the
first night that I needed an alternative to Bar Review.
Best Supporting Actor: William Hurt
photo courtesy of moviegoods.com
Back in the fall of 2005, I had
to explain to people that this
former star of The Big Chill was
a prominent leading man in the
1980s. Then came his 10 minutes
at the end of A History of Violence, the best of a string of career-saving supporting roles—including a raging suburban father
in Into the Wild that certainly
would have scared me off to
Alaska. With this recent run, he
has earned back the right to sell
out for a higher paycheck in this
summer’s Incredible Hulk.
Runner-up: Jeffery Wright is
a fantastic character actor who
I hope will soon break out. He
was funny in the too-little-seen
Broken Flowers and reinvigorated one of my favorite franchise
characters: CIA agent Felix Leiter
in Casino Royale.
Best Screenplay: Brick
This movie starring Joseph
Gordon-Levitt is built on just one
joke: film noir set in a California
high school. But if one’s going to
spend four years in an environment already defined by noir elements like moral ambiguity and
sexual motivation, one might as
well talk like a ’40s private eye.
Best Actor: Matt Damon
After helping Martin Scorsese win his Oscar in the Boston-based The Departed, Damon
switched to comic relief in my
favorite guilty pleasure from last
summer, Ocean’s Thirteen. If the
Oscars ever moved closer to nominating successful commercial
films, it would have nominated
The Bourne Supremacy. In fact,
it was nominated for a BAFTA
(England’s version of the Oscars). Finally, The Good Shepherd
photo courtesy of timeinc.net
considered a real actress. But for
three years she has done what
I praised Damon, Clooney and
Blanchett for doing: she earned
her first Oscar nomination in
2006, was an action hero in the
last two installments of the Pirates of the Carribean trilogy, and
in Atonement was the female lead
in a romantic period piece that
lived up to its critical expectations.
Runner-up: Helen Mirren had
one great movie performance in
this period. But her year-long victory lap for The Queen was made
even more remarkable given Julie Christie’s loss in Away From
Her this year. For an actress over
40 to win Best Actress she needs
continuing sex appeal and some
real cajones.
Best Director: Ang Lee
While Scorsese and the Coen
Brothers won Best Director Oscars (the latter for the uncompromising No Country for Old
Men), it was the 2006 winner
for every Good Night, Good Luck,
there was a Leatherheads. Clooney takes more responsibility
for his failures because he wears
more hats on set (director, producer) while playing himself in
front of the camera.
Honorable mention: Will
Smith became the world’s biggest
movie star while we were in law
school. I will never cease to be
amazed that The Pursuit of Happyness made over $150 million.
Best Actress: Keira Knightley
Women seem equally split between admiration of Knightley
and indignance that she is even
photo courtesy of kieraknightleys.com
photo courtesy of indiewire.com
Lee who delivered more than one
movie over the past three years.
First, Brokeback Mountain was a
masterpiece. Lee crafted an entirely personal movie to deliver a
message—consenting adults deserve complete sexual freedom
because any restriction is a deadweight loss to society—in a way
that was almost acceptable to the
mainstream.
He also delivered Lust, Caution, a foreign language film set
in Japan’s occupation of China
during WWII that further explored the presence of sexual
desire throughout history. Lee
clinched the win with 1997’s The
Ice Storm’s re-release on special
edition DVD.
Runner-up: David Cronenberg
did not direct a perfect film in three
years, but he did make two really
good ones: A History of Violence
and Eastern Promises. Both starred
Viggo Mortensen and excelled at
showing how violence shattered
his characters’ peaceful veneers. To
borrow the poker analogy, Cronenberg presented the feeling of life as
hours of boredom punctuated with
brief moments of terror.
Best Picture: The Lives of Others
Everyone who has seen this film
is blown away by the story of an
East German police agent (Ulrich
Mühe) who oversees the wiretapping and surveillance of a reluctantly dissident playwright at the
instigation of a Party Committee
member who is in love with the
playwright’s girlfriend. A friend
told me it was William F. Buckley’s
favorite movie. This makes sense
since it is about the evils perpetrated by East German secret police as part of an atheist Communist regime. The film’s focus on
secret wiretapping and sacrifices
of privacy for national security
gives it contemporary resonance.
But the director’s vision is
not confined to abstractions.
Although it masterfully depicts
grand themes of loneliness and
compromise, it also captures a
very specific oppression and a
very specific redemption.
Of course, the real reason I’ve
listed the movies above is to remember the days and stories tied
to watching them. Tied to each
title and performance is a memory of those with whom I shared
these memories from the past
three years. So, thanks again.
image courtesy of wordpress.com
Title
Summary
Pro
Con
National Treasure 2:
Book of Secrets, DVD
and Blu-Ray, May 20
Nicolas Cage and much of the supporting cast from the first National Treasure are back in this seemingly improbable action-adventure romp. This time
their adventures take to such places as
London, Paris, Mount Rushmore, and
Washington, D.C. Instead of finding a
city of gold, Cage is out to prove that
one of his ancestors dod not conspire to
assassinate Abraham Lincoln.
Ed Harris is a very good,
but underrated actor. Here he
plays a very convincing bad
guy who is out to get Nicolas
Cage at every turn. The movie
does attempt to infuse some
intelligence into the otherwise
vapid action-adventure theme
by engaging American history.
Moreover, with Disney money
behind it, it has high-end production values too.
Hollywood was pushing it
with Harrison Ford (a.k.a. Han
Solo) playing a professor of archaeology, but Nicolas Cage?
I mean the only reason we believed that he was a chemist
in The Rock was because Sean
Connery was in it, and he suspends disbelief by the fact that
he is 70+ and still considered
a “sex symbol.”
Van Halen, John
Paul Jones Arena, May
2; $49.50-$149.50
They’re back . . . for the first time!
Yes, kids, Van Halen is actually coming
to John Paul Jones Arena this time. This
tour marks the first time that Eddie Van
Halen and David Lee Roth have performed together in over twenty years.
Amazingly, after years of that “rocker”
lifestyle both have survived to do a reunion tour.
If you are looking for a way
to spend those tax refunds
from last summer’s job, those
$149 floor seats are still available. Yes, that means since the
last time we previewed this
same concert they have still
not been able to sell very many
tickets. “1984”. . . ”Jump” . . .
anything? I’m just trying to fill
While people are willing to
go listen to Bob Dylan’s failing voice because his songs
are timeless, I’m not sure if
the same applies for David
Lee Roth. Seriously, his songs
probably sound better on CD
. . . and I’m guessing they can
be found in a bargain bin for
a lot less than $149. Also, will
DVD
Concert
may well have been boring; nevertheless Damon deserves praise
for he how well he threw himself
into the role of a conflicted intelligence agent.
Runner-up: George Clooney
won an Oscar in 2005 and Michael
Clayton was 2007’s best film. But
Grade
B+
C
8
The Back Page
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Friday, 25 April 2008
I’m Walking on May 18 Whether I’m in
Shackles or Not
Earlier today I looked over past
farewell columns for inspiration.
They were, without exception,
Dan Balserak ’08
Senior Columnist
over whelmingly
positive about this
place.
However,
unlike our weekly
pro-beer-and-softball screed, this
phenomenon is not the product of
the well-oiled Law Weekly propaganda machine. It’s because it’s hard to
spend three years here and not have
overwhelmingly positive things to
say. But this is my last chance to provoke someone into writing an angry
letter, so here we go.
My parents came down to watch
me play soccer the other weekend
(it’s sort of their thing) and we went
out to lunch afterwards. As we got
into our cars to go our separate ways,
we exchanged these parting words:
Mom: “Just make sure you actually graduate, okay?”
Me: “Okay, Mom.”
Dad [sternly]: “Don’t get arrested.”
Me: “Alright, Dad.”
Along roughly the same lines, just
an hour or two ago a friend and I
were remarking over instant messenger that maybe I’d managed to
grow up at least a little bit since 1L
year. She said:
DrJones08: you did have a girlfriend for a while
law school with the hope that it
would force me to grow up. I’m not
saying that’s why I came here per
se—I did that because I had no idea
what in the world else to do with a
philosophy degree. I just thought
that some imposed maturity might
be a desirable consequence. Given
the god-awful mess I made of my
first year here, my 1L section probably wanted me to grow up even
more than I did.
It’s hard to put my finger on exactly why I wanted to shake off my
youth. We love youth in America.
Case in point: Miley Cyrus. Who the
hell doesn’t like Miley Cyrus. Does
my (unsuccessful) quest for maturity make me counterculture? Like,
in a really lame way?
I suppose I would have been satisfied if I had just achieved a few basic benchmarks of adulthood, such
as being able to make a comment
in class without nervously sweating
so much that I have to go towel off
immediately afterwards. Or maybe
if I had only forgotten to turn in my
writing requirement intent form
once, instead of twice (in a row),
I could have hung my hat on that.
I would just like to be free of these
little reminders that I am not yet a
fully functioning human being. But
currently it appears I am still stumbling ass-backwards into the real
world rather than striding purposefully into it.
To me, UVA Law is like a mother
photo courtesy of Jonathan Miller
Sorry, Dad.
DrJones08: everyone was impressed by that
People were impressed? I have
been alive for a quarter century
now. These sorts of things are not
supposed to be a concern anymore.
Not only do people my age get married, they actually have children.
On purpose. And they certainly do
not normally get admonished by
their parents to stay in school and
out of jail.
Looking back, I guess I came to
who spoils her children, who coddles them a bit too much. She lets
us get away with a bit more than
we should, and we love her for
it. North Grounds is the Big Rock
Candy Mountains, where you never
change your socks, and little streams
of alcohol come a-trickling down
the rocks. It’s a fantasy world. But
it’s also not—it’s real. This is a real
school, where we learn real things,
and employers give us real jobs because of it. Our time here is so idyllic
will not doubt notice, we failed
the immodest task which was our
charge. Instead, we ended up with
an article about a (concededly exceptional) professor, Robert M.
O’Neill, whom we profiled when
he retired last year.
This would be bad enough standing on its own. But first contrast the
absence of these two profiles with
our ability to remember Professor
Klarman and Dean Jeffries. Then
add in last week’s blatant misspelling of our own dean’s name (there
are just two ‘e’s in Jeffries!) mul-
G. Robinson: I don’t think you have
it right—the question is not whether
you can get it up or not. Wait . . . that
didn’t come out right.
M. Dooley: If for some reason you
wish to be punished, and do not know
a sadist, buy calls on insider information.
E. Flippen: Why do professors
grind through so many cases? The
law has changed. Read a case where
the doctrine started. Then read the
case that controls the law now. I guess
they have to do something.
photo courtesy of dreambreeze.com
The real-life Big Rock Candy Mountain. See? North Grounds is maybe
just as real.
that we suspect, silently and with no
small hint of guilt, that the joke is on
them, but maybe it’s just a big joke
that we’re all in on together.
To be sure, my experience here
was in no way universal. In fact, if
any parents happen to be reading
this on graduation weekend, I can assure you with the utmost confidence
that your child’s experience here
was vastly more wholesome and
productive than mine. This school,
like anything else, is what you make
of it. And I’ll be damned if some of
us—maybe most of us—don’t make
a lot of it.
However, I am similarly certain
that I’m not alone in having come
here 1L year with grand aspirations of buckling down and tearing
things up, so whatever sense of regret I feel at failing to do so is likewise neither special nor unique.
It makes no sense to wallow in it;
the chance is gone, and things did
turn out fine anyway. At the moment, it seems more appropriate
to note that my fond memories of
this place are innumerable, and
that the litany of people to whom
I owe thanks is endless. Alright,
that’s an exaggeration, but it’s
definitely long.
In retrospect, I was wrong in looking to someone or something else to
make me grow up. You’ve got to do
that on your own. So as much as it
miffs the faculty when Bar Review
gets in the way of Friday morning
Corporations, perhaps it’s a virtue of
this school that it gives us the chance
to mess up. There’s no atmosphere of
paranoia here, like at other schools,
that drives us to work—we drive
ourselves to work. Which is what
adults do, if I understand correctly.
So, Mom, I’ll recount my class
credits and make sure I got all 86.
Dad, if I see the cops, I’ll start running. Joking aside, though, I want to
thank both of you from the bottom
of my heart. I know your prayers had
something to do with me ending up
here.
Email: deb7d@virginia.edu
From the Editor-in-Chief
The Law Weekly concluded its
look at sixty volumes' worth of
history this week. This issue will
probably enter the annals of this
paper’s infamy, right alongside
Babygate and the use of satire.
Traditionally, the last Law Weekly
of the school year is a time to write
about longstanding faculty members who have elected to hang up
their full-time academic hats.
We intended to recognize Professors Earl Dudley and Glen O.
Robinson as they add “emeritus”
to their titles this year. As readers
faculty quotes
tiple times in our news lead. What
you’ve got is a string of poor showings by the Law Weekly’s editor-inchief. Maybe we haven’t published
anything flagrantly offensive on
my watch (if anything, I’ve overedited a couple of columns), but
this string of errors since Spring
Break feel just as bad.
So coming next fall, we hope Professors Dudley and Robinson will
be gracious enough to help us with
some belated appreciation. And
maybe proofreading.
-Craig Smith
ang continued
E. Magill: Being bettter than Justice Douglas by 1970 is kind of like
being the best looking law professor—it’s not like there’s that big a pool
to start with.
T. Nachbar: Isn’t it pretty outside.
Should we have class outside? My
first year I taught a class outside, my
small section. I thought it would work
out okay, we were friends, right? . . .
Yeah, that didn’t work out at all.
Thumbs up to Passover, and the students who passed out
unleavened
bread
Monday in recognition. Nothing makes ANG’s Monday like
a little pre-noon macaroon.
M. Schwartzman: Don’t shoot
your casebooks. We had a guy who
would take his casebooks to the range
after exams and blow them away.
Then he would post pictures of it. He
became a JAG officer. I guess that’s no
surprise.
Thumbs up to students who so crack
under the stress of exams that they literally
yell at their friends during class.
Nothing says “future superstar
trial attorney” than a case of
stress induced Tourette’s.
T. Nachbar: Anyone ever hooked
up with someone?
Class: [snickers]
T. Nachbar: Not that way! Hooked
up to their kidneys!
Thumbs down to people who think their
comments or jokes
about exams are original or witty. ANG is the only person that can make unoriginal and
unfunny jokes time after time and
think it’s funny. So back off.
Thumbs up to new
cheese steak special
in the cafeteria. Good
thing all of ANG’s
pants have elastic waists.
Thumbs down to the
winner of Paw Review for using a picture of your dog taken
when it was a puppy although it
is now full grown. Size matters
dammit! Size f’ing matters.
K. Abraham: I skipped [the unit]
on collision and comprehensive coverage. It’s what happens when your
car is damaged. I can’t bring myself to
talk about it. Just buy both. That way,
when you hit a deer, it doesn’t matter.
Anyways, it’s not worthy of a great
law school.
T. Jacobi: I thought you were going to quote the less famous Jefferson
quotation: “Let one nail one’s genitals
to a table . . .”
R. Balnave: You’re going to have
to give me signals that class is over
because the clock is broken. Put your
heads down and look tired. The trick
is to make it distinguishable from our
normal [9 am] classes.
M. Collins: Next week we’re going
to cover the topic of divorce. That is
going to have some serious life consequences for you.