columbus by the slice

columbus by the slice
Scott Koenig brings you an in-depth look at what the campus-area pizza
scene has to offer. Ratings are out of 10 possible points. Did he miss your
favorite spot? Questions or comments? Contact s.t.koenig@icloud.com
story scott koenig | | design nicole thomas
Catfish Biff’s
Sicilia’s
Catfish Biff’s Pizza and Subs has garnered somewhat of a cult following around campus but I attribute that more to the amusing quirkiness of their namesake being a whiskered, rayfinned freshwater lake dweller, and not to any striking
quality about their food. If you’re a devotee of Catfish
Biff’s, you probably live in a dorm on 11th Avenue.
That said, they do offer a decent slice of pizza and
that’s all you can really ask for in this dog-eat-dog
world. This establishment unfortunately opts for
the warmer instead of the brick oven to heat
their slices, but it’s a notch above the warmer at Cottage Inn — my pizza still looked
uninspired but it had a bit more pep in its
step than its pretzel warmer companion.
The warmer dried up much of the sauce,
as expected, which ended up not being
such a big deal because the sauce itself
had enough salt to kill several slugs. The
positives about this slice were its tart
cheese and its delicious crust, with a
near-perfect balance of crunchiness and
chewiness.
Sicilia’s Fine Italian Specialties offers an array of Italian-like food,
most important of which being their pizza, in all its thincrusted, glistening-grease glory. Their pizza by the slice is
usually fresher than most others’ — it’s prepared in a brick
oven, rather than one of those carnival-style pretzel
warmers that, after thirty minutes, gives pizza the soggy and lifeless appearance of a moist hot dog bun.
So after two or three minutes of reheating in the
oven, the pizza comes out with renewed vibrance.
It’s a classic, New York style street vendor slice,
so thin and crispy that it’s begging to be folded
in half and wolfed down with little regard for
dining etiquette. The sauce is slightly sweet
and tastes like it’s made with fresh tomatoes,
but the cheese it supports is just average.
Cheese is often the first ingredient to lose its
pizza pizazz after reheating and Sicilia’s is
no exception. But the product is redeemed
by its tasty crust, so crispy outside and
chewy inside that you’re compelled to finish
every last bite of it before returning to
shouting expletives at passing Red Sox fans.
A Slice of
New York
Cottage Inn
Remember the carnival-style pretzel warmer I
warned you about? The owner of Cottage Inn
could not be reached for comment but I suspect
she or he may have been a carnie in the past.
The slice I ordered was the culinary equivalent
of a tired old man walking out of a malfunctioning
sauna. My pizza was lukewarm and bereft of vitality,
begging to be put out of its misery. I obliged, but only
out of devotion to my craft. The crust was previously frozen and as such, was too chewy, slightly stale, and offered
no distinguishing flavor. The presence of actual tomatoes in
the sauce was contestable at best and, perhaps as some sort of
compensation, there was an excess of sugar — so much so that
I wondered if the sauce was actually swapped out for some revolutionary new tomato-based candy product currently in small-market
testing. I didn’t have the chance to tell for sure, though, as it seemed like
half of the sauce that once existed was dried up in the dreaded pretzel warmer.
Cottage Inn’s pizza did have one thing going for it, however, and that was its sharp
and tangy cheese. All in all, it’s still pizza so it’s hard for it to be bad.
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FISHER INK MAGAZINE
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AUTUMN 2015
I was raised in a family of native east
coasters and A Slice of New York was the
first place to give off a vibe reminiscent of
the big apple. The employees had the charming carelessness of Manhattan pedestrians, the
interior was decorated with all the design flair
of a subway car, and the pizza was thin, crispy and
delicious. It was love at first slice — as soon as it came
out of the oven, a white light cascaded onto it from
the heavens and an immaculately sweet melody filled
my ears. They make you pay extra for the spotlight and the
choir of angels but it was worth it. Their pie is the New York
style standard. It had a beautiful light brown crust with fresh tomato sauce and tangy cheese. The only conceivable knock is that it
could have used a little more sauce. Another conceivable knock, albeit
not related to the pizza, is the fact that History Channel’s “Ancient Aliens”
was playing on their television during my visit. The cashier spent 30 seconds
trying to validate its entertainment value and being a friendly patron, I appeased
him with conversational niceties. But let me be clear: Ancient Aliens is unequivocally
balderdash.
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