When Girls Talk, Some Guys Listen
Transcription
When Girls Talk, Some Guys Listen
IF MEN WOULD ONLY PAY ATTENTION when girls talk, some guys listen UNDERSTANDING WOMEN THROUGH THEIR BEHAVIOR JAMES BRANCH IF MEN WOULD ONLY PAY ATTENTION M VI AT E UNDERSTANDING WOMEN THROUGH THEIR BEHAVIOR RI AL EW when girls talk, some guys listen YR IG H PR E TE D Although the testimonies in this book are true, names have been changed by request of the contributors. Any resemblance to actual events, locations, occupations or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. CO P Copyright (c) 2007 by James Branch All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Edited by Bear Press Editorial Services Manufactured in the United States of America Library of Congress Cataloging-Publication Data is available. www.whengirlstalk.com table of contents Introduction Woman’s Intuition 2. Do Women Really Want A Good Man? 3. Emotional Baggage 4. Single Syndrome 5. Sex 6. Cheating PR E TE D M VI AT E RI 1. AL Her views on: EW The 5 Basic Types of Women The Ex Factor 8. Why Is She Trying To Change Me? 9. The Biological Clock 10. Quality Time 11. Cars, Jobs, and Money 12. Marriage CO P YR IG H 7. Closing Remarks W introduction CO PY R PR IG H v RI M AT E TE D EV IE AL “I can’t understand why women carry around so much baggage,” said my friend, Eugene. “Just once, I would like to meet someone who doesn’t come along with tons of issues.” It was a Sunday afternoon, and, like a million other guys in America, we were watching football: guys watching a guy’s game, and talking about women. Eugene’s comment came while he was talking about a woman named Janice. “How did you find her?” I asked. “It was last weekend, late,” he said. “The place was almost empty. I guess it was the process of elimination. There we were.” “What’s she like?” ”"Early thirties, one young child, never married, but wants to be,” he said. Eugene is divorced, has children in college, and is hardly even looking for a relationship, let alone marriage. It might be easier if they both admit that they are at opposite stages, and any relationship between them is bound to have drama. Odds are UNDERSTANDING WOMEN THROUGH THEIR BEHAVIOR CO P YR IG H PR E TE D M VI AT E RI AL EW it won’t work. Still, they want to see what they can get out of it. Like every man, Eugene wants sex. Janice’s motives are more complicated. Eugene needs to read Chapter Twelve in this book: “Marriage”. Another friend of mine, Josh, likes to think of himself as a player. It’s important to him that he be seen as a skilled player. Josh needs to read Chapter One: “Women’s Intuition” Finally! A guide giving men insight into what intrigues us most: women. What do they want? What do they need? They try over and over to tell us, but we just don’t seem to get it. For generations the literature on love and relationships has been written for women. The writers tell them why we love, why we leave, even why we cheat. They have a ton of resources. Now it’s our turn. Is there such a thing as a biological clock? Does your car or job really matter? Do they see you as a potential father or just a “sperm donor?” This is the book that tells you. Fellas, keep this guide with you at all times, and refer to it whenever those questions arise. And by the way, Janice, we know you’re reading too! vi Is it all just in her head..? 1 CO CO PY PY RI RI GH GH TE TE D M D M ATE AT R ER IA IA L L PR PR EV EV IEW IE W women’s intuition Is it all just in her head? “I can sense when a man is lying. It’s just woman’s intuition.” I’ve heard women say this a thousand times. They talk of it as if it’s a sixth sense, and it probably is. The dictionary defines intuition as direct perception of truth or fact, independent of any reasoning process. So is there such a thing as women’s intuition? Yes. Are women automatically more intuitive than men? No. But women are more attentive to their surroundings and situations. Things register with them in a different way, and they easily recall things that men barely bother to notice. Women use both sides of their brain, whereas we only use one. The behavior of the neural connections in your brain depends on how healthy a lifestyle your mother followed when she was pregnant with you. If she drank, smoked or used drugs, it’s probable that some of your brain neurons didn’t develop. That, added to the fact that we tend to only use one side of our brains, is a main cause of what many women refer to as our “one track minds.” 11 when girls talk, some guys listen The Change In Your Eating Habits Patricia Hodges, 31, Warehouse Supervisor, Single My father hated fast food and always demanded that my mother had a cooked meal He usually arrived around the same AL work. EW waiting on the table when he got home from time everyday. One day, he came in later RI than usual; with a half Subway sandwich in I thought it was odd, but mom EV I table. AT E his hand, and mom had dinner already on the My dad also never M thought nothing of it. TE D wore jeans, only khakis and corduroys. One day, he came in with a pair of jean overMom got suspicious. RI GH alls. Come to find PR out, dad had been seeing another woman, PY meeting her for dinner (fast food), and she CO bought him the overalls. * Read more about woman’s intuition in: When Girls Talk, Some Guys Listen.... The Man’s Guide To Understanding Women. * Learn how your simple mistakes will cause her to suspect that you are being unfaithful. * Learn how her intuition helps her protect the things that are most dear to her. 12 EW 2 VI AT E RI AL do women really want a good man? CO P YR IG H PR E TE D M “A good man is hard to find, and I might never find one,” said a girl I knew. She worked as a hairstylist by day, and an exotic dancer by night. Her combination of occupations made me want to reply: “Well, duh…” After all, shops full of gossiping women and smoky clubs full of horny guys aren’t ideal places to find a soul mate. Then I realized the issue wasn’t her occupation or workplace; it was the fact that, in spite of the stereotypes we put on her jobs, this girl was still out there looking. I’ve concluded that all women, regardless of their status or lifestyle, want a “good man.” So what exactly is a good man? A woman judges a man the same way all of us judge anything: by his qualities. The first thing to remember here is that she isn’t looking for a mirror image of herself. Opposites attract. Remember that no matter what she says. 21 when girls talk, some guys listen Freda Weldon, 28, Hair Stylist, Single I think most women want a nice guy, but for some reason I’m not attracted to them. Nice guys seem to lack confi- dence, especially when it comes to approaching women in public and asking them AL EW out. TE D M VI AT E RI The appeal of the “bad boy” So with all of this talk of “a good man,” why do many good women go for “bad boys?” For the same reason good guys like “bad girls.” The “bad boy” doesn’t follow the status quo. He breaks the rules, finds the shortcuts, and makes the night exciting. PR E Read more in “When Girls Talk, Some Guys Listen - Under- CO P YR IG H standing Women Through Their Behavior. * Learn the differences between being a “Bad Boy” vs. a “Bad Man” * Find out what questions she will ask you to determine if you’re a good man or not. * What do we see in “Bad Girls?” * Learn 6 types of men you should never associate yourself with. 22 One day, you gon’ say, “she crowdin’ my space...” M AT E IE What is “emotional baggage”? RI AL W 3 emotional baggage CO PY R PR IG H TE D EV “She was fine most ways, but I couldn’t handle all that emotional baggage…” How many times have you heard one like that? How often have you said something like it yourself? Emotional baggage—we all watch out for it. Is this girl dragging a load of problems from her last boyfriend? or from the ten guys before that? Is she coming off a messy divorce? What’s behind the smile? What’s under the skin? Is she angry? Bitter? Is she towing a U-Haul of trouble? Is she wearing a sign that says: “Stop”? Most of us look for a girl who travels light, who arrives with no more troubles than she can fit in her overnight bag. We don’t want to get caught lugging her lead-lined suitcases around. That’s how we feel in the bar, or at the party, when we look around to see which girls are attached and which ones aren’t. 31 when girls talk, some guys listen Ophelia Richards, 32, Military Aircraft Mechanic, Married AL W Where does it come from? As any shrink will tell you, it starts in childhood. Nobody’s perfect, and that includes our moms and dads. Our brothers and sisters probably helped us fill those bags too. Once we leave home we get our own personalized set of emotional suitcases. We start packing them the first time someone does something to us that doesn’t seem right. But it’s different for men and women. Isn’t everything? Guys are supposed to be tough. It comes with the territory. We don’t whine, we don’t cry, and we sit totally dry-eyed through chick flicks. We play football, lift weights, crush beer cans against our skulls, and we’re not total strangers to fist fights. We can punch each other out over nothing, and be friends again a week later. We don’t get hurt easily. That’s how we like to see ourselves, and to some extent many women want to see us that way too. But is it true? PR YR IG H RI M TE D EV AT E IE It took six years and a lot of relationships that didn’t work before I got over the man that caused me to carry around so much baggage. One day, I decided that he’s not coming back and besides, I don’t want him back. I took down all of the pictures I had of him, pawned all of the jewelry he ever gave me, and even sold a dining room set he bought for me. Once I did that, I was finally able to move on with my life and become the wife that my husband deserves. CO P Other chapter highlights include: * Age and Emotional Baggage * Divorce vs. Breakup * Men and Emotional Baggage * Find out how the 5 basic types of women deal with their Baggage. * Is there a cure for Emotional Baggage? 32 x o x o xox “so why is her ex still in the picture?” 7 RI AL EW the ex-factor CO PY R IG H PR E TE D M VI AT E Once you’ve begun a relationship with a woman you may find yourself asking: “Why is her ex still in the picture?” There may be many factors in an ever-present ex, but the biggest reason is usually timing. They say that time heals all wounds. It’s not always that simple. In some cases a new wound will open every time she sees him. In other cases there’s scar tissue that she feels like she has to deal with. Then there’s the woman who can’t ever get an ex out of her mind. That’s when you have real problems. Whatever the reason, finding a woman who’s put all her exes completely behind her is rare. It’s usually worst at the start. When you’re the new friend or lover, her ex may be out of sight, but not always out of her mind or heart. If this fades in the first days or weeks, that’s fine, but if it persists, it can become disrespect to you and a big blow to your egonot a good foundation for a relationship. 101 when girls talk, some guys listen Desiree Gay, 29, Freelance Writer, Single RI AT E IE AL W One of the easiest ways for me to get over someone is to start seeing someone else to occupy that time. Many people will call that being on the rebound. I think with M TE D EV those types of relationships, constant communication should be involved so no one gets hurt. GH RI PR Communication Communicate with her. We often let our male egos get in the way of real communication, but we shouldn’t. Communication is especially impor- CO PY tant at the start. You need to learn: Why did her last relationship end? Was it him or was it her? Does she like you because you remind her of him? Or because you’re different? You want to know these things because you need to understand how you fit in her world, but don’t be tempted to change who you are. After all, she was initially attracted to the real you. Whatever develops should be based on who you really are. Remember, he’s an ex for a reason: something in the relationship didn’t work. How long will it take her to get over him? That depends on why they split up, where he is, and how things develop with you. If the split up was her fault, she’s trying to get over her guilt trip. If the split up was his fault, she may have leftover bitterness, making it harder for her to trust you. Read more about the ex-factor in “When Girls Talk, Some Guys Listen.” 102 www.d-daymedia.com Models: Kpannah Mulbah and Davidetta Saye Photography by: DeAngelo XL for D-Day Media, L.L.C. the 5 basic types of women In order to fully understand her, you need to first know what type of woman she is. Although at various stages of her life, a woman can be all of these, there is an overall characteristic in her that will dominate all of the others. This book will help you figure out which one she is, how to approach, and how to deal with her. The guide, “When Girls Talk, Some Guys Listen” is available for online purchase, and in participating bookstores. For more information, visit www.whengirlstalk.com