Wheezy Rider.pub - Ulysses Club in WA

Dec 2008
No 90
Newsletter of the Fremantle Branch of the Ulysses Club of Australia Inc
HI All
Seasons greetings to you. Well a lot of things have
been going on since the last Wheezy Rider. The
best news is our Bruce & Joy eloped to Port Headland and got married on the beach. Very romantic
so all the best Mr & Mrs Davies well done from all
your friends at Fremantle. Incidentally Bruce tells
me he hopes to get out on a few more rides in the
future …….let’s hope so.
We have had some sad news as well with the death
of life member and ex President of Ulysses Ian
(Huggie) Rawlings and George Robinson who
helped establish Armadale Ulysses Branch and was
their first President. Both did their bit for the
Ulysses Club and will be remembered..
It’s been a flat out month with the Annual weekend
away to Jurien Bay and a good time was had by all.
Sometimes I think it may have run its course
however it looks like members look forward to the
Jurien ride so as long as members want to go I am
happy to organize it.
We have had some great race meetings at Wanneroo. The King of Wanneroo went off well with
some very fast Irish racers at the meeting. Joan and
I went with Coral and Douglas and we were treated
to some good close racing and the Sidecars were
just great . The four of us had a great day at the
Australian Historic Championships; what a joy to
Price
$1.00
see and hear the old bikes again. I am sure
Douglas had a tear in his eye at times and it
brought back many memories for me as
Norton Matchless and A.J S were the bikes
to have when I started to spectate in the
early 60’s. Then to see and hear again Yamaha two-strokes and the big Japanese
four-cylinder bikes that I used to race in the
70-80’s. A big plus for Douglas and I was
when we were present when an old 1925
Dunelt fired and ran for the first time in 55
years! Yes what a day, all you could hope
for and much more. Shame we only host
the championships every five years…...
you should have gone .
O.K don’t forget the Christmas party at
Steve and Kaylene’s beautiful house just
perfect for a party. The Branch will supply
the meat and buns just bring along a small
salad or sweets and enjoy yourself. You
can camp, sleep in the house or workshop
so please please NO DRINK RIDING
OR DRIVING. Hope to see you there .
All the best for Christmas and New Year
from Bill & Joan and don’t forget if it isn’t
fun don’t do it!
We don’t care….We ride there
Page1
FREMANTLE BRANCH MEETING
2ND THURSDAYOF THE MONTH AT SWAN YACHT
CLUB.
WEB ADDRESSES
www.ulyssesclub.org Main Ulysses site
www.ulyssesfremantle.iinet.net.au
The committee is the servant of the Group, not the Master
Ulysses Fremantle site
2006/2007 COMMITTEE
cruza52@iinet.net.au Web Master Leo Van
President Bill Lawrence Memb. No 22323
Dalsen
Tel 94572720 billlawrence@ozemail.com.au
Vice President Committee Robin Bosse Memb. No 34615 mikesmit@iinet.net.au Editors address
Tel 95861512 robad@iinet.net.au
Secretary James Kirton No 43205 Ph 08 93102742
RIDE CALENDAR
James.ki@bigpond.net.au
Treasurer Coral Lukies No 42576 Ph 94172494
Sat 13th Dec Mandurah Toy Run. Meet at the Rabrownd@bigpond.net.au
venswood Hotel for 10 am departure.
Committee Dick Berry No 17089 Ph 92849184
Dick.Berry@dli.wa.gov.au
Sat 13th Dec Christmas Party See add page 10
Committee Eric Ilett No
Ph 93542415
Mob 0418950755 ericilett@yahoo.com.au
Sun 14th Dec Free Ride
Committee Douglas Brown Memb 42575
Ph 94172494 brownd@bigpond.net.au
Sat 20th/Sun 21st Dec. Margaret River Ride
Committee Jerry Fleming No 43198 Ph 0419904813
Sorry…..fully booked
jerry@transteel.com.au
Ride Coordinator Anthony Collins No
Sun 28th Dec. No ride scheduled
Ph 93864154 collinschemist@hotmail.com
Editor Mike Smith Memb No 9852
2009 Ride Calendar
Tel 0429-904822 mikesmit@iinet.net.au
AROUND THE BRANCHES
ARMADALE BRANCH
OLD NARROGIN INNE, ARMADALE
Joseph Gabriel President 93975837
Secretary Richard Peddel 93908764
BUNBURY BRANCH
Greg Baker 08 97263356 Email gbaker@docep.gov.au
ESPERANCE BRANCH
Steve “Homer” Smith 90712495
GERALDTON BRANCH
Bruce Ralph 08-99642392 0427-642-392
Bruce Ralph ralphy@wn.com.au Last Wed at Freemason’s
Hotel. 1830 meal 1930 meeting
kianooka@bigpond.com.au
JOONDALUP GROUP
President Larry Smith 0430538244
Secretary Steve Ells 0405699265
MANDURAH BRANCH
Trevor Johnson 0418916999 allstar@aapt.nat.au
PERTH BRANCH
President Kurt Mueller 92777134
Editor Dot Camerer secretary@git.com.au
WARNBRO SOUND WANDERERS
Chris Glover Ride Coordinator 95934425 Compland@dodo.
com.au
Chris Phillips Secretary 95942990 wswsec@iprimus.com.au
Julie Wilcox 95931905 wilcox50@iinet.net.au
RAINBOW COAST RIDERS
President Joe Urquhart 98408228
Ray Prior - prior1@aapt.net.au
KALGOORLIE
www.kalwaulysses.com
johnandleanne@westnet.com.au
Sun 4th Jan
Sun 11th Jan
Depart Armadale at 8:00 am for a brekky run to
Serpentine Dam and depending on the weather a
possible run down to Dwellingup and Nanga Brook
Road.
Mike Smith 0429904822
Sat 17th Jan Zaretsky Multifunction Party
Steve & Kaylene on 93972432 are holding a retirement, 50th, 25th anniversary, going away, whatever
party. BYO everything including your sense of
humour.
COMING EVENTS
28th Feb 2009
Manjimup weekend
AGM Penrith 16th~ 21st March
DISCLAIMER. All expressions of opinion are published on the basis that
they are not to be regarded as expressing the official opinion of the Ulysses
Club but are included for general interest only. The Ulysses Club Fremantle
Branch accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or
information contained in the Wheezy Rider and readers should rely on their
own enquiries in making any decisions touching their own interest. Errors
and omissions excepted. Publication of articles at Editors discretion
Page2
GIRLIE BITS
This was written by a well known lady in the East, Michelle
otherwise known as “The Kid” who herself is the daughter
of well known Ulyssians.
Way back when I got to know a very strong-willed lady
called Joan Smyth. Let’s say I got to know her because
more than often she was ignored by some young bucks who
thought because she walked funny or spend time in a wheelchair that she was not a biker. This lady was a truly special
one indeed.
Her early years as a toddler/young woman were spent fighting Polio and numerous other childhood diseases. She spent
more than her fair share of time in callipers unable to move
a single limb. Through it all she kept on going with a spirit
that amazes me to this very day. Why? Well she also had 2
strains of Muscular Dystrophy which ultimately took her
mobility from her. What can I say? It took a long time for
the nasties to catch up with her spirit and her death a few
years ago.
As a teenager she took up cycling to strengthen her already
doomed body. Cycling, sailing, guns, and motorbikes [not in
any particular order] kept her focused for nearly 80 years.
By the time she saw her first bike she was ‘in love’. She
spent the greater part of her life following that passion. She
rode her beloved TR5 everywhere: across roads that some
of the rest would still call unchartered/unmapped land! She
worked as a mechanic [on bikes of course], and she had a
kitchen with cupboards full of motorcycle related gear. She
was probably the most well-known woman rider in the
40’s – 70’s in the Brisbane area – and one of the most
‘talented’. I’ve met more than a few of her old mates and
seen photos that would curl people’s hair!
I got to know Joan in her later life [knew her for about 20
years before her death a few years ago]. By this time she
had slowed a bit and could no longer ride a bike [Post Polio
and Muscular Dystrophy] – but that passion was simply part
of her. An old Trumpy was parked proudly in her garage
and even though she couldn’t ride it, others could. That
made her day. It either went first kick, or 3 hours later
[usually the latter]. If anyone could have seen her smile
when that bike finally kicked you’d understand what the
Ulysses spirit is all about. Mumbles to self – ‘Bloody
straight –thru exhaust’. Me? Well I was normally over in the
corner of the garage exhausted [after the compulsory ride of
course]! Because of my work commitments then, I had the
luxury of popping into to see her twice a day. I also got to
take her places to see her beloved bikes, and meet up with
all and sundry. On occasions that meant some pretty big
planning. As time went on her body contorted into shapes
that are just inhumane. The pain she felt just moving outside
the door was considerable. That never stopped her.
I was lucky enough to learn how to move her so it was
never a problem. Some others cracked her ribs in the attempt – but she still kept on going. If there was a motorcycling event on and she was in hospital she’d discharge her-
self [not all the time – sometimes it was just too
much]. She truly did love her motorcycling and the
freedoms it brought.
In 2001 she went to her only AGM. In all the years
she’d been a Ulyssian, she’d never been able to attend
and I was determined it was going to happen. The
Gold Coast was just down the road. It couldn’t happen on a bike – so it was a medicab. For what it’s
worth [and trust me there was some heartache for
everyone concerned], that day was a day she re-lived
over and over again – it was something that stays
with me forever. She’d been in hospital before the
day and was quickly back in after that day – but that
day was special.
My friend Joan was someone special and someone
who to me epitomised the Ulyssian spirit. Her love of
bikes never diminished even though her body was destroyed. For 15 years she, Mum and I did everything
possible given the constraints.
As I wasn’t an Ulyssian until 2001, Mum like Joan
had been a Ulyssian for a very long time I had many
AGM badges from years as being a guest of Mum.
Every one of those badges went to Joan – everywhere
I went I picked up something for her. She taught me
a lot about life bikes and showed me a spirit that very
few have. Who was Joan Smyth?
Ulysses Member No 15. The number however is irrelevant - it could be 51000. For anyone who might
think it’s un-Ulyssian to turn up in/on/by anything
other than a bike – check your ‘spirit levels’. For the
most part these people are determined to get there no
matter what they need to do along the way.
Match that up against someone who says I’m not going because I can’t ride my bike. I don’t think there’s
much doubt on who has the Ulysses Spirit.
M
The new Kawasaki 1700 V-Twin Voyager
Page3
FOR SALE
Yamaha YZF-R6 2002
30,000 kms
Yoshimura Exhaust
$8,000 o.n.o.
Contact Christina on 0405 585 897
A WARM WELCOME AWAITS YOU
AT THE YERECOIN TAVERN
GREAT HOME COOKED MEALS
COLDEST BEER FOR MILES
B B Q FACILITIES. LIMITED OVER
NIGHT ACCOMMODATION
DISCOUNT ON ADVANCE GROUP
BOOKINGS
SECURE PARKING FOR BIKES
CONTACT YOUR HOSTS CHARLIE & DI
CLARKE [Ulysses members]
PHONE 9654 6032 E MAIL
check.point@bigpond.com
From Eric Ilett……..I look like being unable to
attend the Penrith AGM because I have to leave for
work on 24th March. I have booked a tent in tent
city sharing with Steve Sawtell, so obviously the
berth is now available and Steve would be happy to
share with someone else if they are looking for accommodation. The cost will be $170 for the week
which I have already paid and anyone who wants
the place can pay me and will have to notify HO of
the change of name. I'll be back in Perth on New
Years day and will be at the Jan. meeting.
Thanks ……...Eric
Suzuki SV650S Blue 2000
6000 kms.
Remus Muffler
Registered to 22/10/08
$6,000.00 will consider
offers
Contact Trudy on
0417 977 748
for further details
Phone 0488-751-957
Page4
CHOOK DROPPINGS
By Stick E Beak
Greetings Chooks one and all………...old Sticky E
Beak has been at it again as you will see on this
page.
The annual “Find The Sea” trip to Jurien Bay was
another great success although we did miss the
“Pole Dancer” as he was away building up Brownie
Points in Adelaide! The trip up was in two rides,
the players and the stayers. Of course your faithful
scribe was as always one of the stayers however we
did still arrive first!
Once the players were sworn in the usual gravitation towards the briny took place however once
again as in previous years a need to slake ones thirst
got in the way and we never made it.
Once back at the Apex Park the lies and stories
were being told in all directions. There is evidence
some where of a certain scribe firing up chops
“flambe” on the BBQ however all was carried out
to the Chef’s (Ross “Cop this” Hook) satisfaction
and there was even some left over for brekky.
A most fearsome
brew of Rice Wine
which had a very
strong flavour of
fibre glass resin
after it was placed in
styro foam cups was
served as a liqueur
and was responsible
for some to see
more than one fire
wrok dsplay at oance later in the evening.!
Geoff then made sure that we were all absolved from blame
before we retired, fell or collapsed into our own (?) beds at
various times before dawn. One person did manage to fall
UP the stairs at some ungodly hour and was last seen in a
giggling heap.
There were other events including the “Pot Luck” evening
and we are all indebted to Pam and Paul for the use of their
house for the night. We were unable to attend (grandies
buffdays) however I know that every one will have had a
great time and many thanks again Pam and Paul.
Which leaves me with one final pleasure and that is to wish
everyone a safe and Merry Christmas and the Happiest of
New Years.
Let us hope too that John Nisbet is soon over the last of the
chemo and he can then start the long and
hopefully successful road to recovery from
what has been one hell of a year for him and
Julie.
Page5
Travel in time in style: BMW K 1300 GT.
Another new K 1300 introduced by BMW at Intermot is
the sport tourer designated K 1300 GT. BMW's goal is usable power -- meaning big mid-range, rather than peak
horsepower, from the new engine. The new GT also features new switchgear, instrumentation and other elements
to provide a platform for swift and comfortable touring.
Here is what BMW had to say.
The BMW Motorrad 4-cylinder combines superior power
with sporty understatement. And a striking set of technical
data, too. What the new inline 4-cylinder in the BMW K
1300 S, R and GT models has to offer is truly impressive.
Punctually for the 25th anniversary of the K Series, BMW
Motorrad is presenting three new peak performers in the
“Champions’ League”.
The new Gran Tourismo is probably one of the fastest
gliders about. A new era in long-distance travel began
when BMW Motorrad started building the “GT”. The distances that can be covered in comfort on this motorcycle
are astounding but just as fascinating is its performance at
low revs. In the lower and middle rev range, where more
than 80% of road riding takes place, this engine really
packs a punch. And you’ll feel it straight away: 140 Nm
from 1,293 cc. And 160 bhp for the three-lane highway.
Compared to the performance category the 4-cylinder is
very restrained when it comes to fuel consumption and
emissions. New digital engine electronics settings as well
as a modified exhaust system with 3-way catalytic converter are the reasons. Once again BMW Motorrad illustrates how modern engines should be built.
BMW Motorrad has always set standards when it comes to
designing tourers. This is once again the case with the
BMW K 1300 GT. There is probably no other motorcycle
which provides better wind and weather protection and
makes fast travelling so comfortable under all conditions.
The unusually narrow, dynamically cut and aerodynamically optimised full fairing emphasises the bike’s character by placing an air slit in the side trim. This feature emphasises the independent and unmistakeable style which is
what makes BMW Motorrad tourers so special.
The Duolever front wheel guidance - introduced in
the BMW K 1200 S - with its newly designed lower
longitudinal strut, safeguards even higher riding precision and maximum riding stability in the BMW K
1300 GT. The firm spring/damper settings give the
rider perfect road feedback. Optimised chassis geometry for optimum straight-line running, mass concentration and a constructionally designed low centre of gravity provide a dynamic riding experience,
ease of handling and a balance which are simply
thrilling in a tourer. However, there is even more to
all this perfection. The K 1300 GT can be fitted with
the optional ESA II, the electronically adjustable 2nd
generation suspension. The spring base, spring rate
and damping are synchronised – automatically.
Uniquely comfortable and more precise than ever
before the rider can adjust the suspension of the K
1300 GT to the load and road surface conditions to
open up a new dimension of riding stability combines
with optimum response. ABS is standard on this
model, the ASC Automatic Stability Control is available as an option.
It’s no news that a BMW motorcycle offers the best
ergonomics around but it is nevertheless something
special. Because relaxed yet active riding is only
possible with well-balanced ergonomic. Especially
on the tourers BMW Motorrad has always put great
emphasis on making the pillion passenger ride in
comfort. Perfect ergonomics include an absolutely
long-distance suitable seat bench, pleasant step-over
dimensions and good controls. In the new K models
the new generation of switches for all coming BMW
motorcycles has been introduced for the first time.
Ergonomics have been optimised, space requirements have been reduced and MID technology* has
been introduced. In short – the controls simply feel
and look better.
The BMW K 1300 GT represents the new Champions’ League for dynamic travel and sets the standard
for Gran Tourismos on two wheels.
*Moulded Interconnect Design, printed circuits in
the switch unit instead of individual wiring.
Page6
CHRISTMAS HAMPER
Please bring your Christmas
goodies to the next two meetings
for the Barrel Girl to put into the
Hamper to be won at the
Christmas Party to be held at the
Zaretsky Ranch on the
13th December!
The more the merrier Hohoho!
Tony Collins believes in starting them
young!
Herewith a couple of pics of young Jack
checking out the CD stacker on the
Wing and fettling Grandad’s Trumpy!
N i ce
Ed
c le an
floo r
t he re
To ny!
Brake out the champers
ABS has become well and truly affordable
Anti-lock braking is the way of the future. Not only is it an allround good thing and becoming better, it’s also going to be required on almost all bikers eventually by European standards.
Get used to it, and learn to love it, it’s a good thing.
You don’t, on the other hand, need a litre or 1200 cc displacement and suspension length that would make a stork go green
with envy to leave the tar behind. Even in Australia, one of the
world’s toughest environments for motorcycles, a smaller and
lighter bike can actually make life easier for you while you’re
sampling the pleasures of the bush.
Okay, you are not going to get the awesome capabilities of a
BMW R1200GS or a KTM Adventure. But it may well be that
you don’t want them, either.
The major weakness of the Suzuki V-Strom 650, however, is
that it’s not really set up to go off road at all. The lack of a bash
plate leaves the exhaust and the oil filter worryingly unprotected. The oil cooler does get a lightweight little screen, but the
main radiator once again has nothing to protect it. Front fork
stanchion protection is also inadequate. Where there is a shield,
over the one-sided exhaust, it gets too hot to use throwover panniers.
This is simply impractical and if you want to do any halfway serious travelling you’ll need to invest in an aftermarket bash
plate, a guard for each of the coolers and some kind of rack to
keep your fabric panniers cool. Shame – this could have been
addressed so easily.
But then again, it’s very hard to think of anything else to criticise on this V-Strom. As one of my mates said after he climbed
off the Suzuki: “It’s just so easy to ride!” He’s quite right. And
complete with ABS, the price is better than just right at $10,490!
Quickspecs
Model: Suzuki V-Strom 650 ABS
Price: $10,490 (plus on-road charges)
Warranty: Two years, unlimited distance
Power: 49kW @ 8800rpm
Torque: 60Nm @ 6400rpm
Engine: Liquid cooled 90 degree V-twin, 8 valve DOHC, fuel injection and
digital ignition
Bore x stroke: 81 x 62.6mm
Displacement: 645cc
Compression: 11.5:1
Transmission: Six-speed, wet multi-plate clutch, final drive by O-ring chain
Suspension: Front, 41mm telescopic fork, preload adjustable, travel 150mm.
Rear, lever-type monoshock, preload and rebound damping adjustable,
150mm travel.
Dimensions: Seat height 820mm, weight 197kg (dry), fuel capacity 22 litres,
wheelbase 1555mm
Tyres: Front, 110/80 19. Rear, 150/70 17
Frame: Twin spar aluminium alloy
Brakes: Front, twin 310mm discs with two piston floating calipers. Rear,
260mm disc.
Top speed: 180km/h
Acceleration:
0-100km/h: 4.5 sec
60-100km/h: 5.8 sec
Fuel consumption: 4 litres per 100km, unleaded
Theoretical range: 550km
Colour: Metallic grey
Nicked once again from The Bear’s online Road Rider Ed
Page7
You and your partner are
invited to help us
A All of the following
or
B Personally select a party plan that suits you (tick the
box)
1 Kaylene’s 50th birthday party 2 Kaylene and Steve’s wedding anniversary (25 years of weeded blisssss) 3 Kaylene’s retirement party 4 Kaylene and Steve’s going away party The party night is 17th January 2009 : Start time 6:00 pm
Please BYO drinks. The evening will be catered food.
The address is 81 Wolfe Rd, Banjup.
Overnight accommodation is available as BYO tent or bedding for some floor space.
No Presents. If you must; a charitable donation is
preferred – to a cancer foundation or other of your choice.
RSVP to 93972432 / 0419951018 – or e-Mail response
before 9th Jan (for catering)
Page8
NATCOM MUTTERINGS
VALE IAN
(HUGGIE)
RAWLINGS
Nominations received for
positions on the Ulysses Club
Inc. National Committee 2009.
I regret to inform members of the passing
away of a terrific man and great Ulyssian,
Ian Rawlings.
Elections will be held during the Annual
General Meeting commencing at 1 pm on
Saturday 21st March 2009
HUGGIE, as he was affectionately known,
lost his long battle with cancer at 8:45 a.m.
this morning in Toronto Hospital with his
family at his side.
Position Candidate:President: Kim Kennerson
Ian was a past National Treasurer, National
President and Life Member of the Ulysses
Club.
Secretary: Helena Gritton
I personally have had the pleasure of
serving under Ian's leadership on the
National Committee and have since become
a close personal friend.
Vice President: Denis Paulin
Treasurer: Victor Lesslie
Committee:
Jan Birch
The loss for his family and many friends
will be hard to come to terms with and
many a tear will be shed.
Peter Maguire
Kim Kennerson,
National President,
Ulysses Club Inc.
Friday 28th November 2008
Peter Williams
Alan Piddington
Jennifer Woods
Page9
CHRISTMAS PARTY
SATURDAY 13TH DECEMBER
81 WOLFE ROAD
BANJUP
Once again Steve and Kaylene have generously agreed yo
hold the Fremantle Branch Christmas Party at their lovely
property in Banjup.
Start time is once the lawn is cut however that would have to
be around 4 pm onwards I guess.
Club will be providing meat and buns, BYO salad to be
chopped up by volunteers on the day.
Some old tart/fart to have a go at making some coffee for the
masses later in the evening.
Usual volunteers for preparation and clean up of the venue.
This is Steve and Kaylene’s home so we of course as usual
will leave it like we find it! Maybe even better…..!
Numbers to the Prez at the next two meetings please so that
catering can be set up.
Christmas Hamper will be drawn on the night so plenty of
goodies to the Barrel Girl at the next two meetings folks.
Everyone is asked to please bring a small gift value between
$2.00~$5.00 to go into Santa’s Sack for distribution on the
night by Santa’s Little Helpers.
See you there!
Page10
'Currently it has a top speed of 25mph, but that will be
increased greatly with bigger motors.'It has a range of
about 2.5 hours and it is designed for the commute to
work through busy towns. I believe this could be electrical alternative to the car. I'm just looking for an investor to help me get it into production.'
TRICK CYCLIST
A young inventor has created a motorbike with a twist - it
uses two wheels but they are positioned right next to each
other, giving it the illusion of being a powered unicycle.
And even better, it might help save the planet.
Ben Gulak has spent several years building the electric
Uno that uses gyroscopic technology - like the infamous
Segway commuter device - to stay upright. The bizarre
looking contraption has only one switch - on or off - and is
controlled entirely by body movement.
The rider leans forward to accelerate to speeds of 25 mph
and back to slow down. It has two wheels side-by-side and
has been turning heads wherever it has been ridden.
The green machine is so small and light it can be taken indoors and carried into lifts - and is recharged by being
plugged into the mains.
The wheels are completely independent, allowing the bike
to turn on a sixpence and the technology takes the balance
and guesswork out of riding a unicycle.
Its 18-year-old creator is now looking for investors to get
the Uno into production and onto the streets.
Ben, from Ontario , Canada , said:
'I was inspired to make the bike after visiting China a few
years ago and seeing all the smog. They all drive little
bikes that are really polluting and I wanted to make something to combat that.
'I started with the concept because if something doesn't
look cool people just won't be interested. After coming up
with the concept I started to build it and now have the first
prototype and the reaction has been amazing.
'It has two wheels side by side and that means it is easier
to turn as they are completely independent and have their
own suspension.
'The bike has a 'neutral point' and when you lean forward
it accelerates to keep the neutral point in the right place.
'It has a couple of gyros and is basically self-balancing - it
takes the guesswork out of riding a unicycle.
'The bike takes a bit of getting used to because you have to
learn to trust it. But it doesn't take long.
'It takes any weight and weighs 120 lbs and can fit into a
lift so you can take it indoors to charge it up.
The Credit
crunch bites
in UK!
Page11
Men and Mortality!
Supermarket Marketing
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
A new supermarket opened in Endeavour Hills. It has
an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant
thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing
and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal
grilled Steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck
and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma
of bacon and eggs frying.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
The bread department features the tantalising smell of
fresh baked bread & cookies.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas.
CHICKEN TALES
A chicken farmer went to a local bar sat next to a
woman and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman perks up and says "How about that? I just
ordered a glass of champagne too!"
"What a coincidence" the farmer says "This is a special
day for me. I am celebrating."
"This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!"
says the woman.
"What a coincidence!" says the farmer as they clinked
glasses the man asked "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child and
today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!"
"What a coincidence", say the man. "I'm a chicken
farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but
today they are all laying fertilized eggs."
"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I used a different cock", he replied.
The woman smiled and said. "What a coincidence!"
Look what we have to look forward to guys!
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