August 2014 Newsletter - Hand In Hand International Adoptions

HAND IN HAND INTERNATIONAL ADOPTIONS
AUGUST 2014 NEWSLETTER
We are the leaves of one branch, the drops of one sea, the flowers of one garden.
– Jean Baptiste Henri Lacordaire
Don’t you think this seems like an excellent response to someone who asks, “Why don’t you adopt a
child from your own country?”
HAND IN HAND HAS NEW COOPERATIVE AGREEMENT
WITH AN ORPHANAGE IN CHINA
If you have already started on a home study but have not yet picked a country or an agency to
work with, then this may be a good option for you!
We have received the information on the first six children from Nantong Orphanage who have
been cleared for inter-country adoption. Families for these children must either already have
their dossier in China with Hand In Hand or must be ready to do so within three months.
These children are between two and four years old and have corrected special needs (e.g. extra
digits already removed, anal atresia already operated on, meningitis already cured, preterm
but healthy now, cleft lip already operated.) Even if you can’t get your dossier to China in
time for one of these children, you can start on a dossier with a future Nantong child in mind.
Contact us for more information on how to do this. Indiana@hihiadopt.org.
2014 SUMMER HOSTING PROGRAM – A MAJOR SUCCESS
We are thrilled with the results of the 2014 Summer Hosting Program with eight children from
the Philippines. Happily, each of the host families has decided to proceed with adoption! The
host families involved their children in many fun activities, were able to meet many other
adoptive families including some who had also adopted after participating in a host program,
helped their host children see what life in a family can be like, and met social workers from the
Philippines who were able to give them good insight into how children are cleared for intercountry adoption, how the child-caring agencies (orphanages) prepare children for adoption,
and otherwise educate them on Philippine culture, customs, and values. To these families who
helped house and/or entertain the social workers and show them a bit of the sights, foods,
culture and activities here in the US that the children will be surrounded by when they
eventually come home to their Forever Families, we say, “Salamat Po!”: Michael and Angie
Gibson, Chad and Diana Parent, Ryan and Tracy Smith, Michael and Rosemary Imrick, the
Trueloves, and Tim and Kathy Blomeke.
It’s not too soon to begin thinking about next year’s Hosting Program. Contact us to be put on a list as
new information comes out about the proposed children, the locations of the programs, the timing, fees,
etc.
We are so happy to be a part of this program that allows children who are seven and older the
opportunity to visit the US, stay with a family for a month, and most importantly, have the chance that
someone will fall in love with them and want to make them a permanent member of their family!
WE CAN DO YOUR HOME STUDY
Are you using another agency for your adoption but wondering how you will be able to get your home
study, pre-adoption education, and post adoption services completed in a way that is compliant with the
Hague Convention or the Universal Accreditation Act?
If you live in a state where we have an office (Colorado, Florida, Indiana or Minnesota) we can help!
Since we are licensed in each state where we have an office and we are Hague-accredited, we are most
likely able to provide home studies, adoption training, and post placement services that will meet the
requirements of the placing agency and whichever foreign country you are adopting from. Contact any
of our offices for more details.
CELEBRATE ADOPTION NIGHT
2014 FUNDRAISER WITH THE FORT WAYNE TINCAPS
Come join other adoptive families for a fun evening watching Fort Wayne’s Minor League Baseball Team and
enjoying the activities they make available for children and families.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014 – Game Time: 7:05 PM – vs. West Michigan White Caps (Detroit Tigers) at
Parkview Field in Fort Wayne, Indiana – Reserved Seat tickets are $8.00, with $4.00 of each being donated to
Hand In Hand
WebkinzTM Wednesday – the first 1000 fans (age 12 and under) will receive a FREE WebkinzTM plush toy as they
enter the ballpark that evening.
On-Field Games and Contests – We choose contestants straight from the crowd!
Kids Play Area – This area includes inflatable games, a 25-ft. rock climbing wall, and indoor batting cages!
Run the Bases – After the game all fans are welcome on the field!
For ticket order forms – Contact Vickie Truelove at hihiadopt@frontier.com by Wednesday, August 13th.
UPCOMING HAND IN HAND EVENTS IN COLORADO
Next Orientation:
August 21st: 6:30 -8:30 pm; Fort Collins; First Presbyterian Church, Room 204; 531 South College
Ave
Please RSVP two days in advance via email or phone
Session 2 Parent Training:
August 23rd: 9:00am – 4:00pm; Fort Collins
Sessions maybe taken in any order; call the office if you have questions on whether you need this
training.
UPCOMING HAND IN HAND EVENTS IN INDIANA
Day 2 Parent Training:
Saturday, August 23: 8:30am – 4pm – Hand In Hand office, Albion
Day 3 Parent Training:
Saturday, September 13: 8:30am – 4pm – Hand In Hand office, Albion (this is a CHANGE IN
DATE due to a scheduling conflict at the church where Hand In Hand is housed.)
Day 4 Parent Training:
Saturday, October 18: 8:30am – 4pm – Hand In Hand office, Albion
Sessions maybe taken in any order; call the office if you have questions on whether you need this
training.
BRAZIL UPDATE
All of our accreditation papers were submitted to the Federal Central Authority in Brazil on
July 22, 2014. Camila, our foreign coordinator, is back in the States and will be staying in
contact with the Central Authority as we await their approval. If you are interested in being
one of the first families in this program, please contact MaryLee via email at
marylee@hihiadopt.org.
BOOKS RECOMMENDED BY CREATING A FAMILY
Over the next several months we will include here some book recommendations about adoption as
found on the Creating a Family website. Check some out!
Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution Is Transforming America by Adam Pertman
Wanting a Daughter, Needing a Son: Abandonment, Adoption, and Orphanage Care in China by Kay
Ann Johnson- Kay is a researcher in the field of how the Chinese view adoption and an adoptive
parent of daughter from China. Both her roles influenced this book. I loved it and highly
recommend it.
Mei Mei Little Sister: Portraits from a Chinese Orphanage by Richard Bowen- A collection of
portraits of children growing up in Chinese orphanages. Proceeds go to support the Half the Sky
Foundation if bought through their web site. These are truly stunning and touching pictures
Love in The Driest Season: A Family Memoir by Neely Tucker- This is just a plain old fashioned
good read that happens to be about adoption. It is the true story of the Tucker's adoption of a
daughter from Zimbabwe. They were living in Zimbabwe at the time so the adoption was not a
typical international adoption, but the intense love of these parents is typical. This is a great book
to read while you wait for your child.
Welcome Home! An International and Nontraditional Adoption Reader edited by Lisa Schwartz
and Florence Kaslow
Moving Heaven and Earth: A Personal Journey into International Adoption by Barbara Birdsey
Love Like No Other: Stories from Adoptive Parents edited by Pamela Kruger and Jill Smolowe
The Exact Same Moon: Fifty Acres and a Family by Jeanne Marie Laskas- A very fun read by a
gifted author and mother of two girls from China. It is uplifting, but also very real. I love her
writing style.
Daughter from Afar: A Family’s International Adoption Story by Sarah L Woodard
The Waiting Child: How the Faith and Love of One Orphan Saved the Life of Another by Cindy
Champnella
Love You Forever by Robert Munsch- This is a children’s book, but it always struck me as more for
the parents than the kids. My kids hate this book because it always makes me cry, but I love it.
China’s Lost Girls- a DVD by National Geographic
Find more reviews at:
http://www.creatingafamily.org/adoption/suggestedbooks/funinspirationalreads.html?awt_l=KYJ4w&awt_m=3hbnWt3g.94QyZ0
PARENTING TIPS - DISCIPLINE
Parenting Tips is a regular newsletter feature prepared by Kim Kuehner, PhD,
Hand In Hand social worker and Placement Supervisor
Discipline often means “to punish”. But it can also mean to train yourself to control your
behavior. Children (and adults) do not need punishment. Punishment teaches through fear. A great way
to maintain relationships between parents and children needing discipline is to teach our children how to
control their behaviors in a firm, loving and compassionate manner. That is not saying that there are no
limits or consequences. It is saying that old methods of discipline do not work in favor of enhancing
relationships. “Spare-the-rod” disciplinary techniques do not work for adopted and special needs
children. Punishment-style discipline is not useful for any children (or adults). Anger, lectures, threats,
complaining, arguments, yelling and shaming all serve to widen the relationship gap. Our adopted
children benefit most from the type of discipline that takes into account their delays, transitions,
traumas, losses and unique brain development.
Our children will learn best how to behave when we have done our part to develop a trusting
relationship with them. We do this by:
 Not personalizing their maladaptive behavior
 Being gentle and available
 Being consistent
 Loving them just where they are emotionally at any given moment
 Doing those things that foster relationship – e.g. eye contact, nutrition, help with transitions,
etc.
The process for teaching (discipline) as outlined by Purvis, Cross and Sunshine in The Connected Child
(page 93) is basic and simple (well, not always simple to actually do!). Begin thinking about the
following steps and start practicing them right away (parents need practice too).
 Respond quickly
 Clarify expectations
 Offer simple choices
 Present consequences
 Give immediate retraining and the opportunity to “re-do”
 Practice, practice, practice
 Keep the child near you (time-in)
 Offer praise for success
 Demonstrate that the episode is over and don’t go back and dreg it up later
The practice part is important (re-do) and you can be creative and make it fun while at the same time
you can be firm and consistent. Sometimes children will just need some calming time before practice
(parents too). A good way for parents to employ these methods is to plan ahead. Talk with each other or
other caregivers and plan what is expected for your family. Plan how to offer choices and what simple
choices you may offer in different situations. As you learn and become more comfortable with this kind
of discipline, your children will be learning it too. They may even remind you that it’s time for a re-do.
WAITING SIBLINGS IN THE PHILIPPINES
We have received complete files on two sibling sets who are cleared for adoption and waiting for
the right family. One sibling set includes an 8-year-old boy and his almost 10-year-old sister who
have been in care since 2009. He has speech delays and she has mild ADHD, but they have made
steady progress under the structure and therapies at their child-caring agency. The other sibling
set includes two brothers who will soon be 10 and 11 years old. They have been in care since 2010
and are in a foster home. They both have average intellectual functioning and have benefited
from the instruction, guidance and moral development in the foster family. Contact us if you want
to review the full files for either group. Their file numbers are 9771-9772 and 9741-9742.
FORT WAYNE, INDIANA AREA ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP FOR ADOPTIVE PARENTS
This program will meet the 2nd Wednesday of each month from 6:00pm to 7:30pm
at Farrington Specialty Counseling, Inc., 6522 Constitution Drive Fort Wayne, Indiana 46804
****
Led by Erica Walworth, MS, RDN, CD, LMFTA, Therapist, dietitian, and adoptive mother
****
This will be an ongoing group that will focus on the adjustments and struggles that adoptive
parents can experience. It is to support adoptive parents as they learn how to nurture and
bond with their adoptive children. Some experiential techniques will be used to explore
identity development, grieving, and adjustment. For more information, please contact Erica
at either 260-358-7180 or ewalworth.fsc@gmail.com. Erica has adopted internationally, and
she has a passion for making adoption work well.
****
Phone (260) 358-7180 Fax (260) 755-5731
www.farringtonspecialtycounseling.com
bfarrington.fsc@gmail.com
COUNTRY UPDATES
Bulgaria – Our Bulgaria program is now open, and we are accepting applications. Please contact your local Hand
In Hand office or Karin Link in the Minnesota Office. Children are of a rich, ethnic background: Bulgarian,
Turkish and Roma. Children ages 1-15 years old, with the majority being over three years old; there is a great
need for families open to children between four and eight years old, as well as for families open to children with
special needs. Male and female children and sibling groups are available. Most children have mild to moderate
medical conditions; the wait for the referral of a healthy child is currently very long.
Brazil – We are awaiting accreditation in Brazil.
China – The China Center of Adoption Affairs has most recently matched families with log-in dates of December
11, 2006. If your dossier is logged in for a regular match and you are getting discouraged with the wait, please
know that you can consider the match of a special needs child without removing your dossier from your “place in
line” at CCAA. If you know you want to do this, please contact us at hihiadopt@frontier.com and submit an
updated Type of Child form so that our staff in China can know which child may be a possibility for you.
China/Special Needs – We can assist families with adoption of children with special needs from China in three
ways, including being matched from the Shared List, being matched to a child who has been designated “Special
Focus” because he or she has waited over a month to be matched, or by adopting a child from a province where
Hand In Hand has a direct relationship to help match waiting children.
China and Single Applicants – Single females may adopt a child through China’s Special Focus program. The
specific requirements the applicant has to meet can be found on the US State Department website at:
http://adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_alerts_notices.php?alert_notice_type=notices&ale
rt_notice_file=china_1 Persons interested in this option can contact any Hand In Hand office for information on
which Special Focus children are currently waiting for families. Brief information on the children is also posted
on Hand In Hand’s Facebook page and blog www.kidswait.org .
China – Two children - It is possible for a married couple to adopt two children from China at once or
successively in the same year, if at least one of them is a Special Focus child.
Haiti –After working in Haiti since 1990, Hand In Hand is committed to continuing our work in Haiti with the
utmost integrity, and we look forward to future opportunities in this country. IBESR (Haiti's adoption authority)
has placed a priority on the receipt of new applications for adoption from Haitian-American families. They have
asked Hand In Hand to focus on such applications at this time. Applications to Hand In Hand from families
without Haitian heritage are therefore on hold at this time. Meanwhile, families with Haitian heritage who are
interested in adopting from Haiti are encouraged to contact Karin at minnesota@hihiadopt.org to learn more about
the process and requirements.
Philippines – Applicants for Philippine adoption should have at least a high school diploma, a minimum annual
income of $40,000 and no more than two divorces. Only a very few applications can be submitted each year for
young, healthy children. However, there is a great need for applicants open to children with special needs,
children over age 6, and large sibling groups.
Philippines Single Parent Adoption – Single applicants for adoption from the Philippines must be open to the
adoption of children 9 years old or older. The parent must be at least 16 years older than the child but not more
than 45 years older than the child.
Philippines Special Home Find - There are many Filipino children who are older than six or who have special
needs or who are a part of a sibling group who need families. They are listed on a Special Home Find list and
families can review the list and apply to adopt a child they think could fit well into their family. Contact the
Indiana office to have the list emailed to you or look for it on our website or blog.
FREE ADOPTION BOOK DOWNLOAD
Dear Friend of Adoption,
My ebook International Adoption of a Preschool Child: 100 Parenting Tips for Your Child’s
First Year by Virginia M. Benner, will be available free for download through Amazon.com
Kindle on August 1 and 2 and on September 9. You may recall that I previously notified you of
the free downloads in May and June.
My husband and I adopted our 2 sons from Korea – the first boy at age 4, and two years later,
an 8 year old boy who was a “waiting child”. This ebook is about tips we learned and used
during our 4 year old son’s first year with us. The book includes practical information for this
life changing event and includes:
Preparing for your child; the arrival home; dealing with language barriers and the child's grief;
helping the child learn a new language; preserving the child's culture and language; decisions
about preschool; rules, safety, and appropriate discipline; tantrums; racial issues and bullying
by other children; and self-care for new adoptive parents.
The book is a valuable resource for parents who are preparing for adoption and also for those
in post adoption support programs. It is also helpful for domestic adoptions of preschool
children, especially when there are cultural differences between the adoptive parents and the
child.
I hope you will take the opportunity to read my ebook, and that you will recommend it to
adoptive parents. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Ginger Maki, RN, MA
HAND IN HAND’S BLOG WWW.KIDSWAIT.ORG HELPS FIND FAMILIES
FOR CHILDREN WHO WAIT
Check out our blog for listings of children who are currently waiting for adoption from China or the
Philippines. The China Special Focus program and the Philippines Special Home Find program are
each country’s effort to find good families for children who can thrive if only given the opportunity.
Check out our Facebook page too Hand In Hand Facebook Page, for updates we have received on
some of the children in China as well as their precious photos.
HELP HAND IN HAND SERVE CHILDREN WHILE YOU SHOP FROM HOME!
Do you enjoy shopping on Amazon.com? Now you can shop for items AND benefit
Hand In Hand through the AmazonSmiles program! Simply click on this link:
http://smile.amazon.com/ch/74-1951461 You will be directed to the Hand In Hand
AmazonSmiles site where you can shop Amazon and Hand In Hand will receive a
portion of the sales. There is no extra cost to you. It’s a very simple way to help
children in need of families while shopping! Please feel free to share this link with all
of your family and friends.
PLEASE HELP CHILDREN WHO ARE STILL WAITING
Please consider a donation that will assist Hand In Hand move into its 40th year of finding families for
children who wait. Send your tax deductible donations to Hand In Hand, c/o MaryLee Lane, Founder and
Director, 9520 SW 9th Terrace, Ocala FL 34476. If you would like to make direct deposit donations, please
contact MaryLee at hihia@atlantic.net for the bank transaction information. Blessings, peace and thanks to
all of you for your generous help.
WE ARE ON TWITTER
Follow Hand In Hand's KidsWait outreach on Twitter at @KidsWait.
HAND IN HAND IS A HAGUE-ACCREDITED ADOPTION AGENCY
Since February 29, 2008 Hand In Hand has had full accreditation by the US Department of State to perform
adoptions under the Hague Convention. This means we are able to assist families with adoptions from any other
country that is party to the Hague Convention. The purpose of the Hague Convention is to safeguard the rights of
children being adopted as well as the rights of the adoptive parents. Being accredited means we have met such
standards as education of adoptive parents, professional qualifications and training of staff, ethical practices,
maintenance of records, services after an adoption, etc.