Jan. 8-21 . 2011 qnotes

Jan. 8-21 . 2011
qnotes
qnotes
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
inside
Jan. 8-21, 2011 Vol 25 No 18
10
news & features
  6 News Notes: Regional Briefs
  8 James touts bigotry
  8 Shed a happy tear
a&e/life&style
10 Sexual safety first
12 A better you, a better community
12 Choosing you benefits everyone
13 Carry a ‘helper’s high’
14 Out in the Stars
21
15 Tell Trinity
19 Q events calendar
opinions & views
  4 Editor’s Note
  4 Guest Commentary
  5 General Gayety
13
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Robbi Cohn, Matt Comer, Tyler DeVere, Darryl Hall,
Charlene Lichtenstein, Lainey Millen, Leslie Robinson,
David Stout, Trinity
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Jan. 8-21 . 2011
qnotes
VIEWS
editor’s note
by matt comer
matt@goqnotes.com
So, when I heard Burr had voted for DADT
repeal, I was floored.
“This is, I think, a policy that generationally is right,” Burr told reporters after the
vote. “A majority of Americans have grown
up at a time that they don’t think exclusion is
the right thing for the United States to do. It is
not accepted practice anywhere else in our
society and it only makes sense.”
Like DADT repeal generally, Burr’s single
vote is historic in its own right. It marks the
first time a Southern Republican has voted for
pro-equality legislation, according to advocates with Equality North Carolina.
“His vote marks a significant first for our
state and our region, and we hope it will
encourage other fair-minded Republicans to
stand up for fairness as well,” Equality North
Carolina Executive Director Ian Palmquist
said in a message to supporters.
I don’t know if Burr’s sudden change on
DADT will extend to other matters, like employment non-discrimination or marriage, but
I can hope. Burr’s December vote on DADT,
along with those of seven other Republicans,
should be seen as a sign of progress and
it certainly made me proud to be a North
Carolinian.
There are positive changes taking place
all around us and all the time, even among
people we might not generally perceive
as supportive. Let this serve as a lesson to
me, to keep hope alive even in the face of
uncertainty.
P.S. — On a slightly related note, let me
add because I just can’t help myself: I think
it is quite ironic our usually-conservative,
anti-gay, Republican U.S. senator is more
progressive on LGBT issues than Charlotte’s
entire Democratic city council. One votes
to repeal a massive piece of legislation that
discriminates against tens of thousands of
U.S. citizens. The others can’t even bring
themselves to vote on simple policy changes
meant to protect LGBT employees. Wow.
And, I’ll leave that at that. : :
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qnotes
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
by Darryl Hall
A call for reason, not blind faith
‘Don’t Ask’ vote makes for
surprising sea changes
In December, I — in my sometimes,
though not usual, Negative Nancy outlook on
life — penned a blog post for the Center for
American Progress’ CampusProgress.org in
which I said the last-minute, lame duck push
to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) might
have been too little, too late.
“There’s certainly a lesson for students in
all this mess: Procrastination never results in
a positive outcome,” I wrote.
In this instance, luckily, procrastination
didn’t give way to defeat. The Senate voted
65-31 to repeal DADT on Dec. 18 — the first
time our federal legislature has seen fit to say
LGBT Americans are equal and as deserving
as their heterosexual counterparts. Perhaps,
I was just a bit bitter, after years of watching
political games ruin progress on LGBT equality. Fortunately, I was wrong.
Watching the vote, I was surprised to
learn eight Republicans voted to repeal the
discriminatory 1993 law. Among them was my
own senator, Richard Burr.
See, Burr and I have a long history
together (whether he knows it or not). Both
of us are natives of Winston-Salem, N.C. I
was just a kid in elementary school when
I first met Burr, then a member of the U.S.
House. I was all decked out in my Cub Scout
uniform attending an older boy’s Eagle Scout
ceremony. Burr was there to help bestow the
honors.
As I got older and more politically aware,
I’d often write Burr. I visited his WinstonSalem office a few times. I eventually
attended and graduated from the same high
school he did. I’m a member of Wake Forest
Baptist Church, which still meets on the
campus of his alma mater.
Though we had all these things in common, I was always infuriated with Burr’s lack
of vision on LGBTQ equality. As a member of
the House and Senate, Burr often voted for
anti-LGBTQ initiatives like a federal constitutional amendment banning marriage for
same-sex couples or a gay adoption ban in
Washington, D.C. (Fortunately, both failed.)
guest commentary
After reading Dr. Michael Brown’s guest
commentary, “Setting the record straight”
(Dec. 25, 2010), it is not surprising he still
clings to the notions of “lifestyles” when
espousing his convictions and judgments
against the LGBT. He does deny comparing
homosexuality to pedophiles, but goes on
to justify this comparison. Just as I wouldn’t
compare someone who uses fire to cook or
heat with an arsonist, we shouldn’t compare
homosexuals to pedophiles. Using an extreme
to enable criticism of a group is not only being
unfairly judgmental, but denies fundamental
facts of humanity that show Dr. Brown’s doctorate is definitely not in biology.
Biologists who study sex, sexuality
and gender, have found variations in many
animals, not just humans. Evolution teaches
us we should expect such diversity. As to
pedophiles and other personality disorders,
these may well have physical traits as well as
external factors that encourage this unacceptable behavior or action, but as a society
we continue to try to find answers to these
problems. We should not be tying together
disorders that are harmful to general society
with physical traits that are natural and a part
of biology. Unfortunately, the biggest problem
with this debate by Dr. Brown is his religion.
It is religion, over the centuries, which has
given excuse for slavery, racism, sexism and
now the current scapegoat of some religions,
people who identify as part of the LGBT. Even
though I was brought up in a fundamentalist
church, I have realized that it is all myth and
legend developed by a superstitious people
in a primitive time. One only need study the
surrounding religions to see the influences on
the stories and legends that became part of
the Bible, or better yet, read the Bible, void of
preconceptions and blind faith, but rather with
a critical eye, or as Benjamin Franklin called
it, “the eye of reason.” The contradictions,
errors and false prophecies are so abundant
as to be impossible to list in such a short
response. With studies in geology, biology and
paleontology providing a picture of how the
earth began and evolved, we are shown the
true mythic proportions of the creation story
and detrimental to most religions the fallacy of
original sin.
As to the main character of protestant
religions, Jesus, at best, was an apocalyptic
Jewish preacher. The four gospels based on
timeline should be Mark, Matthew, Luke and
John and the original Mark ended at the empty
tomb. Also, consider the 10-year discrepancy
in Jesus’ birth year, the conflicting family tree
and the conflicts in the most important element of all — the crucifixion story. None of the
gospels agree on the details for the crucifixion
and subsequent events. As the miracles associated with Jesus became more grandeur and
supernatural from the writings of Mark to the
later writings of John, this shows not a historical series of events, but rather the creation of
a legend. Historically, no reliable documents
of that time period have any mention of the
events associated with Jesus as described
in the Bible. The few sentences in Josephus’
writings that mention Jesus have been shown
to be later additions of some copyist.
But, let’s step back from the particulars
of the issue and consider the big picture. Do
we really think a god who supposedly can
defy time and space itself and is supposedly
all powerful and all knowing would require a
human sacrifice or the primitive rituals of a
submissive worship? Christians can not even
agree as to the character of this god, for even
the Bible is contradictory. Is he merciful and
loving or is he judgmental doling out eternal
punishments of immoral cruelty for minor
violations? Can we really believe a perfect
god would create a world where his first two
humans were failures? The failure as I see it is
in not recognizing how manmade our religions
are and how they divide us, allowing us to
demonize others and give support to some
of our most base prejudices. History is full of
religious wars and abuses in the name of God.
The Inquisitions, Martin Luther’s bigoted writings against the Jews and Hitler’s subsequent
following of those writings in his holocaust
against them are a few examples.
So, Dr. Brown, I can understand how you
can hold such beliefs, but in the 21st century
it is still shocking how primitive and irrational
humans can be, especially in living with blind
faith. It is time we look to reason and understand the diversity that is us humans and
learn to live a good life without prejudice. : :
qnotes strives to provide the community with an open forum for discussion and commentary.
The views of guest commentators do not necessarily represent the official views or positions
of qnotes, its editorial staff or publisher.
VIEWS
general gayety
by leslie robinson :: qnotes contributor
Hopes for the New Year
As 2010 drew to a close, I’m was looking
ahead. Here are some of my hopes for the
LGBT community in 2011, along with a few
predictions.
I hope next year the Pope will reveal a
new attitude toward gays. I predict he won’t.
Now for a bolder prediction concerning Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of
Canterbury, who has the grinding task of
holding together the worldwide Anglican
Communion as it convulses over the gay issue
— I think poor Rowan will chuck it all. He’ll
become a pagan and, periodically, be seen
frolicking at Stonehenge wearing nothing but
a whimsical smile and un-strategically placed
flowers.
Turning to another part of the planet, it is
my fond hope that the murderous anti-gay bill
still pending in Uganda’s parliament will be
quietly withdrawn. Or, loudly withdrawn — I’m
not particular.
Now that the frothing homophobe Yuri
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resolutions this year?
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Luzhkov has lost his job as mayor of Moscow,
let’s hope that city can finally have an open,
legal Pride. Russian LGBT folks need an
infusion of freedom. Luzhkov, married to a billionaire, needs a soul, but he’ll probably settle
for a Piaget watch.
Turning to these shores, I don’t want
2011 to bring on a case of As Maine goes, so
goes New Hampshire. You know that in 2009
Maine voters shot down the state’s same-sex
marriage law. Now conservative legislators in
New Hampshire are gearing up to repeal gay
marriage in the Granite State.
Repeal would be a dagger in the heart of
every LGBT person in the state. Plus it could
mess with my plans. My partner and I have
been considering getting hitched in New
Hampshire, my home state. If the legislators
kill same-sex marriage, the state will miss out
on all the money we planned to spend — on a
six-pack and a bag of cheese popcorn.
Regarding the Prop 8 litigation, experts tell
us that whatever the outcome in the appellate
court, the case won’t really be decided until it
reaches the U. S. Supreme Court. I’ll, nonetheless, hope for an appellate court victory. I’m
not against being bathed in validation.
With DADT on its official way out of
Dodge, what can we expect in 2011 from Sen.
John McCain, the Obstructer-in-Chief? After
fighting with such baffling intensity to keep
DADT, McCain’s passion, or bile, over the
issue of gays in the military will continue. Look
for him to chain himself to the Pentagon or
to Defense Secretary Robert Gates, causing
interesting rumors about the two of them.
By the way, if Adm. Mike Mullen,
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, is still peeved
with Gen. James Amos, head of the Marines
Corps, for his public opposition to DADT
repeal, I can guess whom Mullen will choose
to replace him: Lady Gaga.
If she can wear raw meat from head to
toe, she has the stomach for it.
Turning to other performers, country
singer Chely Wright and Christian music artist
Jennifer Knapp came out in 2010. Since both
hail from genres traditionally unfriendly to
gays, I want this fine trend to continue this
year. Hey 2011, bring us a reggae artist.
Each year I hope a male pro athlete who’s
still playing will come out, but so far nobody
has obliged me. I hope 2011 will be the year
a football, baseball or basketball player does
the deed. But, I’ll happily settle for a hockey
player. With or without teeth.
Finally, I hope that next spring I don’t have
to write another column about a gay teen’s
fight to attend his or her prom with the appropriate date. If Constance McMillen could
triumph in 2010 in small-town Mississippi, no
place is safe from prom equality. : :
info:
LesRobinson@aol.com . generalgayety.com
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Jan. 8-21 . 2011
qnotes
BRIEFS
news notes:
from the carolinas, nation and world
compiled by Lainey Millen :: lainey@goqnotes.com | David Stout :: david@goqnotes.com | Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com
Charlotte
Center receives feedback
CHARLOTTE — Members of the Lesbian &
Gay Community Center of Charlotte Board of
Trustees held a special community roundtable
on Dec. 28 to hear community members’
concerns, suggestions, feedback and other
items of interest.
The event, the first of its kind since 2007,
was billed as an opportunity for the center’s
board and staff to “[reach] out to the LGBT
Community to learn of the Community’s needs
and concerns so The Center can better address and provide them.”
Among the many topics addressed at the
meeting was fundraising, the center’s physical
location, the annual Pride Charlotte festival’s
location, outreach to youth and communities
of color and visibility and civic engagement.
Center chair John Stotler and board
members Devlin McNeil and Roberta Dunn
moderated. Board member Bert Woodard and
other center-affiliated community leaders also
attended the event.
Center board members have invited members of the community to attend their monthly
programming committee meetings to share
ideas and thoughts. Those meetings are held
every third Wednesday of each month.
The center’s work can’t be done without
the support of the community. Contributions
are always welcome to help sustain the many
activities it provides.
For more information, visit  
gaycharlotte.com.
— M.C.
Golden anniversary planed for UUA
CHARLOTTE — The Unitarian Universalist
Association (UUA) will hold its 50th anniversary celebration during its 2011 General
Assembly opening ceremonies which begins
on June 22 and will be held in Charlotte.
The actual date of the anniversary is May
15, when the consolidation of the Universalist
Church of America and the American
Unitarian Association began.
The church has a ministry that addresses
justice and diversity. It is a welcoming congregational body that supports full LGBT rights.
A specially commissioned hymn has been
created for the festivities. During the general
assembly, Rev. Debra W. Haffner will present
“Fifty Years of Sexual Justice.” Haffner is the
director of the Religious Institute.
For more information, visit uua.org.
— L.M.
Join the ‘Sissies’
CHARLOTTE — Queen City Theatre
will present the regional premiere of a Del
Shores’ production of “Southern Baptist
Sissies” from Jan. 20-Feb. 5 at 8 p.m. at the
Duke Energy Theatre at Spirit Square, 345 N.
College St. A special matinee will take place
on Jan. 30 at 3 p.m.
This award-winning comedy follows the
journey of four gay boys in the Baptist church.
It is directed by Glenn T. Griffin.
A percentage of the proceeds from ticket
sales will go to The Trevor Project, with an
qnotes
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
initial fundraising goal of $3,500.
Tickets are: general admission, $20-24;
students and seniors, $14-16. A special
discounted performance on Jan. 26 at 8 p.m.
costs $12 is available for purchase online only.
For more information or to purchase
tickets, visit queencitytheatre.com.
— L.M.
Mancini awards local orgs
CHARLOTTE — A local foundation formed
to support programming for the LGBT community announced on Dec. 28 its 2010 grant
recipients.
The Wesley Mancini Foundation will
disperse a total of $5,000 to programs meant
to students, youth and freedom of speech.
The University of North Carolina at Charlotte’s
Women’s and Gender Studies Program
will receive $2,500 toward support of the
university’s OUTspoken speakers series. The
university’s Multicultural Resource Center will
receive $1,000 for its Transgender Committee
and their “Transgender Inclusion in Charlotte
Institutions of Higher Education” program.
The Charlotte-based national organization
Campus Pride and Charlotte youth services
group Time Out Youth will jointly receive
$1,500 toward the groups’ joint “Believe in
Youth” program.
The foundation, named after its founder
Wesley Mancini, is one of a few United States
foundations dedicated solely to supporting the
LGBT community. Mancini, a longtime LGBT
philanthropist both nationally and locally,
established the foundation in 2000 in response
to heavy censorship in Charlotte by funding
resources, as well as the pervasive attitude
among major Charlotte benefactors that
gay and lesbian programs were too risky to
undertake or underwrite. Since its inception a
decade ago, the Wesley Mancini Foundation
has awarded grants to 21 organizations.
— M.C.
Youth group needs help
CHARLOTTE — In the wake of the 2010
youth suicides, Time Out Youth’s work is more
critical now than ever. Bullying has caused an
outcry for help across the nation. And, that is
no different in the Queen City.
LGBT youth require the assistance of
organizations to provide the support they
need as they move through the challenges of
coming out, living their lives from day-to-day,
as well as dealing with less-than-supportive
family and friends.
Loneliness and abandonment stand at the
top of the heap of issues that youth must encounter. With that, their very survival is tested.
The staff of Time Out Youth are always
looking for volunteers who can share their
time helping their charges. They are also
in need of the financial means by which to
provide this necessary work.
For information about Time Out Youth  
and how to contribute to them, visit  
timeoutyouth.org.
— L.M.
Studios merge
CHARLOTTE — On Dec. 19, AEBN, the
world’s largest adult VIdeo On Demand (VOD)
provider, announced the acquisition of Falcon
Studios and its merger with Raging Stallion
Studios. They, along with Naked Sword and
the Gunzblazing Affiliate Program, will be part
of AEBN’s gay division.
According to AVN Media Network, Raging
Stallion chief Chris Ward will head up the
combined studio. James Hansen, current
Falcon Studios president, will stay on as chief
financial officer. A single staff responsible for
the production of nearly 60 new titles per year
and more than 40 compilation titles, will be
comprised of employees of both studios.
The current Falcon Studios membership site will remain in the Next Door
Entertainment network, while the current
Raging Stallion sites will remain part of
Gunzblazing. DVD distribution channels for
both companies will remain the same. All
titles from both studios are available for viewing at Nakedsword.com, AVN reported.
“Combining the iconic libraries of both
studios will offer consumers one of the largest and highest quality catalogs to choose
from. Putting the two companies’ incredibly
talented staffs together will bring tremendous
creativity and even higher production standards,” Hansen said.
The combined company will become the
largest all-male erotic producer, with 12 major
DVD lines, each of which will maintain its
own branding. The main brands are Falcon,
Raging Stallion, Naked Sword’s Golden Gate,
Mustang, Jocks, Monster Bang, Twinks.com,
Fisting Central, Fetishforce and Hairyboyz.
In addition, Hard Friction, Stag Homme and
Edger Nine are affiliated brands released via
Raging Stallion.
“Our intent is to keep each of the important Falcon and Raging Stallion brands as
individual entities, each with their own look
and feel,” commented Ward.
— L.M.
Coastal
Safe place meeting slated
WILMINGTON — Wilmington Pride Youth
Meetings are scheduled for Jan. 21, Feb. 18,
March 18 and April 15, 2011, 5:30-7:30 p.m. at
Buena Space, 27th N. Front St.
Join other LGBT youth in a safe, confidential environment. Parents are welcome.
For more information, email youth@out 
wilmington.com or visit outwilmington.com.
— L.M.
Triad
B-I-N-G-O time
GREENSBORO — The Guilford Green
Foundation will host “Once Upon a Bingo!”
on Jan. 21 at 6 p.m. at the Empire Room, 203
S. Elm St.
On board will be the Dancing Queens and
a raffle for various goodies.
Funds raised go to support local LGBT
initiatives in the Triad community.
Sponsors are The Q, Custom Jewelers
Gallery, Triad Boot Camp/Heart In Sol, Lincoln
Green and Goodwill.
Tickets are $15/adults, $10/students and
$10/military.
To secure a spot, visit ggfnc.org/bingo.
— L.M.
Triangle
Gay man elected prez
RALEIGH — Retired IBM executive Stan
Kimer (pictured), has recently been elected
as the president of the North Carolina Council
of Churches. He is the first openly gay person
to do so in the south, The (Raleigh) News &
Observer reported.
As a lay leader within the Metropolitan
Community Church (MCC) fellowship, the Dec.
2010 vote was not one that was political, but
rather about who he was as an individual. He
is only the second nationally to have been
elected by one of the 33 other similar councils
as an openly gay person. The state council is
a coalition of eight individual churches and 17
Christian denominations that address social
issues.
His election breaks ground in the conservative south where there has been few
instances of overwhelming support of the
LGBT community. MCC joined the council 20
years ago. Soon after MCC’s inclusion, Kimer
stepped up to serve as a board representative of St. John’s MCC where he serves as the
stewardship ministry chair and a lay delegate.
In recent years, mainline Protestant
church groups have become more accepting,
however, ones such as the Southern Baptist
Convention has not. In fact, it is not a member
of the council. Churches may be more open
to its LGBT members, but they may not be
with regard to sexuality, the News & Observer
stated. It also added that some friction may
arise. However, since the council’s objectives
only require that members have a belief in
Jesus Christ. They do not require “theological
agreement.”
“As much as he wants his tenure to be
devoted to the issues raised by the council,
though, Kimer said he’s aware he’ll be looked
at as a representative of gays in general,” the
Raleigh newspaper said. Kimer says he wants
to be a good LGBT community representative.
Former Methodist minister Jimmy Creech
told the News & Observer that “Stan’s getting
elected president is not a referendum on gay
individuals.…It’s about Stan’s leadership.”
They also reported that the council’s executive
director, Rev. George Reed, stated that Kimer
being a gay man “was not a disqualifying
factor.” Member denominations have “internal
battles” with LGBT issues, but that did not
prevent Kimer’s election for a one-year term.
— L.M.
Center seeks renewed support
RALEIGH — The LGBT Center of Raleigh
has announced that it had a successful 2010
year serving the community.
Strides were made. it opened its offices in
downtown, as well as expanded its programs
and services.
A wide range of expanded program
and services offered to the community,
includes LGBT Helpline; A Safer Place Youth
Network (ASPYN); M Club; First Friday events;
Healthworks; Raleigh NightFest; Raleigh is
Coming Out; OutRaleigh; Q-Nights; Gay’n’Gray;
youth leadership organizations; and confidential HIV testing.
To sustain itself in 2011 and beyond, they
are diligently searching to obtain corporate
sponsorships and grants, but donations from
individuals are the financial backbone of the
Center.
On-going needs for funding to pay for rent,
hardware and software, printed materials,
electricity, water, telephone, internet, etc.,
stay on the front burner.
Join the monthly recurring donation program. Here are some samples of how it can
be used: $10 will cover one month’s telephone
and internet charges; $25 will pay for about
three months of printed materials; $100 will
help cover the cost of one month’s rent, hardware, software for the office.
Not able to provide financial support? Then
how about volunteering time and talent instead.
To make a tax-deductible contribution or  
to lend a hand, send checks to 316 W.
Cabarrus St., Raleigh, NC 27601 or visit  
lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.
— L.M.
Members wanted
RALEIGH — He wants a few good people
to join him. He’s sent out a “straight-forward
pitch for you to become a member.” He’s
Gaston Williams, president, and he is looking
to add to the roster of members of the Raleigh
Business & Professional Network.
The Network holds two monthly events —
a dinner meeting on the second Wednesday
of the month and a casual mid-monthly social
on the fourth Wednesday.
The group’s website includes an online
business directory and easy registration and
payment options for its events.
To join, visit raleighnetwork.org.
— L.M.
Western
ALFA successes continue
HICKORY — With the help of its volunteers,
board of directors and staff of ALFA, 2010 saw
several milestones for the two-decades-plus
organization whose mission it is to serve an
eight-county area for HIV/AIDS support.
It received a $47,000 grant from NC Care
Branch, providing the resources required to
train 10 volunteer HIV testers.
ALFA’s medical case management program
added new services to increase availability of
support in the northwestern NC mountains.
Two special awareness and fundraising
events, Hike for Hope and Not Your Mama’s
Bingo, were added. Combined dollars raised
was $150,000.
To learn about more ways to contribute
or for more information, call Rodney Tucker,
executive director, at 828-322-1447 ext. 244,
email alfadirect@alfainfo.org or visit  
alfainfo.org.
— L.M.
National
Task force tackles LGBT suicides
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The National
Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention has
added three new task forces to address
suicide prevention efforts within high-risk
populations: LGBT youth; American Indians/
Alaska Natives (AI/AN); and military service
members and veterans. This brings to six the
number of task forces formed by the Action
Alliance, the public-private partnership
forged in September to advance the National
Strategy for Suicide Prevention.
In the U.S., suicide claims over 34,000 lives
annually — the equivalent of 94 suicides per
day, or one suicide every 15 minutes. Studies
show that LGBT youth are from 1.5 to seven
times more likely to report having attempted
suicide than their non-LGBT peers.
Co-leading the LGBT Youth Task Force are
Kevin Jennings, assistant deputy secretary, Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools,
U.S. Department of Education, and Charles
Robbins, executive director of The Trevor
Project, the leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts
among LGBT youth.
“This task force will bring together the
best minds in the country to combat suicide
and make sure that every LGBT youth has
the opportunity to grow up in a supportive,
accepting community and to enter adulthood
safely,” Robbins said.
For more information, visit actionalliance 
forsuicideprevention.org.
— D.S.
Meeting Date:
Program:
Time:
Cost:
To Reserve:
Tuesday, January 18, 2010
ASC President Scott Provancher
Crowne Plaza, 201 S. McDowell St.
Cash Bar Social/Heavy Hor d’oeuvres @ 5:30 pm
Program starts @ 6:45 pm
$20
Call 704.565.5075 by 12 pm
Friday, January 14, 2010
or email businessguild@yahoo.com
to request tickets for this event
www.charlottebusinessguild.org
HRC criticized for ‘Milk’ money
SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. — The Human
Rights Campaign has drawn fire for their plan
to set up a store selling HRC-branded gifts and
merchandise in the Castro St. camera shop
originally owned by assassinated gay rights
icon Harvey Milk.
Dustin Lance Black, Oscar-winning
screenwriter of the biopic “Milk,” said,
“Harvey Milk spent the last years of his life
fighting not only for rights for gays and lesbians across the nation, but also against the idea
that the only way to achieve those rights is to
lobby the government and financially support
so-called ‘straight allies’. Harvey believed the
best way to secure our rights was through
grassroots action, coalition building and the
election of LGBT people to office at all levels of
government. He encouraged people to come
out of the closet and be vocal about who they
were and why they deserved full equality,
not partial equality or crumbs. For the HRC
leadership, which still advocates a piecemeal,
wait-and-see approach to try and co-opt and
profit from Harvey’s legacy is an outrage.”
“HRC has proven time and again that its
main goal is not to advance rights for LGBT
Americans but to raise funds amongst the
LGBT community for Democratic candidates,”
stated Log Cabin Republicans President Dan
Brown. “If HRC, as the largest LGBT rights
organization by funding, took a page from
Harvey’s book rather than relying on empty
promises from elected officials that rarely
materialize, then we would be much closer to
full equality than we currently are.”
— D.S.
Senate OKs Feldblum for EEOC
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Senate
has confirmed Chai Feldblum to a full term as
a commissioner of the U.S. Equal Employment
Opportunity Commission (EEOC). Republican
senators had previously blocked Feldblum’s
nomination, leading President Obama to use a
recess appointment to make her, temporarily,
a commissioner in March 2010. That temporary appointment would have expired at the
see News Notes on 17
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
qnotes
Shed a happy tear
qnotes editor Matt Comer reflects on his visit to the president’s ‘Don’t Ask’ repeal signing
by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com
the ceremony was to take place. Once we
arrived, we balked: the line to get into the ceremony wrapped around the building. Though
it was cold, we and everyone else gathered
were all smiles.
Inside the auditorium, I noticed a veritable
who’s who of the LGBT movement, Congress
and federal government. Former servicemembers, who’ve been forced to carry the burden
of this unjust law for far too long, were gathered everywhere. Some were dressed in their
uniforms, ready to serve their country again:
“Sign us up today!” one would later call out
as the president signed the bill into law.
As the ceremony began, with a prayer, the
Pledge of Allegiance and national anthem,
I could feel the tears welling up inside. Oh,
happy tears they were! Though I’ve never
served in the armed forces, it was once
a dream of mine. Military service in my
family stretches back generations, all
the way back to the Revolutionary War.
My grandfather and his brother, former
Marines, both served during the tail-end
of World War II and in Korea. And, when I
signed up for JROTC as a freshman in high
school, only one thing stood in the way of
my service: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” It didn’t
take me long to learn I’d never have the opportunity to serve my nation. After just one
year in JROTC, I dropped it and my dreams
for service.
Years later, I’d be among dozens of
LGBT young people across the country
who would attempt to enlist in the armed
forces, though doing so openly, honestly
and with integrity. The action, Soulforce’s
2006 Right to Serve Campaign, returned
the same results in each of the 30 cities
qnotes editor Matt Comer with other LGBT advocates at the ‘Don’t Ask’ repeal signing in Washington, D.C.
where young, able-bodied and patriotic
Photo Credit: Shannon Cuttle American citizens said, “Sign me up! I will
NEWS
It was as normal a workday as any other
— a little cold outside, yes, but full with all
the usual expectations and daily to-dos. So,
imagine my surprise when I opened my inbox
and saw an email from the White House
— an invitation to attend President Barack
Obama’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal signing
ceremony on Dec. 22.
I immediately called my mother. After all,
she’s had to listen to my political rants and
raves since I was young. My childhood stint in
the Boy Scouts only made it worse, instilling
a strong sense of patriotism. Years later, I still
choke back tears when I hear the national
anthem played or watch Independence Day
fireworks shows. On top of it all, I’m a history
geek. I love it and live it. I studied it in college
and the History Channel has kept some of my
serve!” — we were all turned away.
I thought of that moment — the disappointment and sadness and oppression — as
President Obama spoke on Dec. 22. This is a
speech to remember, I thought to myself as
he began.
As the president finished I nearly lost myself: “For we are not a nation that says, ‘don’t
ask, don’t tell.’ We are a nation that says, ‘Out
of many, we are one,’” the president said.
“We are a nation that welcomes the service
of every patriot. We are a nation that believes
that all men and women are created equal.
Those are the ideals that generations have
fought for. Those are the ideals that we uphold
today. And now, it is my honor to sign this bill
into law.”
The opportunity to attend the signing ceremony was a unique one, for sure an historic
moment to be treasured and cherished for
the rest of my life. Years from now, I can see
myself watching the History Channel as a special on civil rights in America comes on and
a portion of Obama’s speech at the signing
ceremony is broadcast.
“I was there,” I’ll say to myself.
Undoubtedly, I’ll cry. But these tears, I’ll gladly
take now and in the future. What a great
moment in history we’re in — when some of
the final legal hurdles and obstacles blocking
the full citizenship and participation of LGBT
Americans are being lifted. We should all shed
a tear in this moment and keep it in memory
of all the heroes — men and women, black
and white, slave and free, gay and straight
— who, to borrow from Katharine Lee Bates,
“more than self their country loved and mercy
more than life;” those who lived and died for
that most glorious of patriot dreams and gave
to their nation their ultimate sacrifice to see
that days like this are even possible. : :
Meck commissioner calls gays ‘sexual
predators’ in email to colleagues
GOP’s Bill James balks at letter on ‘Don’t Ask’ repeal
by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com
CHARLOTTE — Anti-gay, Republican
Mecklenburg County Commissioner Bill James
on Dec. 27 said gays are “sexual predators” in
an email to his colleagues on the board.
James’ remarks were made in response to
County Commissioner Chair Jennifer Roberts’
request to send a letter thanking some members of the Charlotte-area congressional delegation for their “yes” votes on “Don’t Ask, Don’t
Tell” (DADT) repeal in December 2010. Roberts
was to send the letter to U.S. Reps. Larry Kissell
and Mel Watt and U.S. Sens. Richard Burr and
Kay Hagan. President Barack Obama signed
the repeal act into law on Dec. 22.
“Homosexuals are sexual predators,”
James wrote in one email from a string of
several between county board members,
Roberts and County Manager Harry Jones,
and provided by James to qnotes. “Allowing
homosexuals to serve in the US military
with the endorsement of the Mecklenburg
County Commission ignores a host of serious
problems related to maintaining US military
readiness and effectiveness not the least of
favorite TV programming streaming into my
home for years.
Luckily, I was able to find some last-minute deals on flights to and from D.C. I left the
office, packed my bags and made it to the
Charlotte airport just in time. The excitement
of this historic moment in time was nearly too
much to bear once I finally got to Washington
and met up with a friend who was nice
enough to lend his couch for the evening. We
stayed up half the night waiting on another
friend to arrive and when we finally settled
down to sleep — at a dangerously late 2:30
a.m. — I knew I’d have only anticipation and
adrenaline to keep me awake the next day.
We awoke from our short nap at 6 a.m.,
hurriedly showered and dressed and made
our way to the Department of Interior where
qnotes
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
which is the current Democrat plan to allow
homosexuals (male and female) to share
showers with those they are attracted to.”
James added, “The US Government would
not allow Hetero men and women to share
showers and other personal facilities yet the
leading homosexual in Congress (Barney
Frank) thinks it is OK for homosexuals to do so
allowing enlisted men and women to fall prey
to higher ranking or more powerful homosexuals who ogle them (or worse).”
Other county commissioners also objected
to sending the letter, according to other emails
also received by James. In one, Republican
Vice Chair Jim Pendergraph says he is against
the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and
relates a story of his encounter with a gay servicemember following his enlistmen in 1969.
“I don’t think the timing is right for this,”
Pendergraph wrote, “and as a 19 year old
enlistee from Steele Creek in the U.S. Army in
1969, the first homosexual I ever encountered
was in basic training. He was the company
clerk. It was a bad scene and this individual
exerted his authority on young impressionable
recruits.”
Pendergraph added, “Whatever you send,
don’t put my name on it. I don’t see this as anything to be proud of.”
This month’s DADT
repeal came after a
months-long Pentagon
report found there
would be minimal unit
cohesion or disruption
problems resulting from
an orderly policy repeal
and implementation. Of
the thousands of servicemembers surveyed
during the Pentagon’s
report, 70 percent said
DADT repeal would
Bill James
have no or very little
impact on troop morale or readiness.
Roberts, a Democrat, also specifically
asked Republicans on the board about their
thoughts on the letter, as DADT was not an
issue on the county’s legislative agenda.
Roberts especially sought to thank Burr, the
only Republican senator in the Southeast to
vote for repeal and the first such senator ever
to vote positively on proLGBT legislation.
James said he would not
congratulate Burr: “I suspect Richard Burr will pay a
high electoral price for his
actions but whether it boots
him from office next time is
unknown,” James wrote. “I
know I won’t be supporting
him even if he does have an
R after his name.”
Fellow GOP
Commissioner Karen Bentley
also objected to the letter
and voiced her opposition to
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal, saying she was
“highly disappointed” by Republican Burr’s
see James on 9
James balks at letter
continued from page 8
MeckPAC Statement on County Commissioner
Bill James’ recent homophobic statements:
MeckPAC commends Commissioner Roberts on her initiative to thank local members
of Congress who voted yes on repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” MeckPAC also commends
those members themselves, which include Reps. Larry Kissel and Mel Watt, and Sens.
Richard Burr and Kay Hagan. Ending that discriminatory policy was long overdue and is a
major step toward equality for LGBT Americans.
Unfortunately, County Commissioner Bill James made comments in an email regarding
DADT that homosexuals are “sexual predators.” These remarks are shocking, though not
surprising considering his past rhetoric. Near the same time last year, Commissioner James
called fellow Commissioner Vilma Leake’s deceased son a “homo.” Commissioner James
has also said that black Americans live in a “moral sewer.” Such statements continue to be
well over the line of decency and civility, and should be called out as the ignorant bigotry
they are.
These personal attacks against fellow American citizens are unacceptable, and
Commissioner James should be held accountable for his remarks as a leader. Other County
Commissioners should ensure James’ comments are not allowed to appear as the voice of
the overall board. It’s time for the Board to take a stand publicly against such speech. The
community needs to hear loudly where each board member stands. LGBT and questioning
youth — many of whom have been victims of bully suicides encouraged by Commissioner
James’ attitude — should know there’s nothing wrong with them and they should not feel
ashamed of who they are. LGBT people are of course not sexual predators or anything of the
sort, despite the mythology that preaches otherwise.
affirmative vote on the issue on Dec. 18.
Burr won’t face another election until 2016.
Commissioner Harold Cogdell, Jr., a
Democrat, also opposed the letter though he
did so because the matter was not an item on
the county’s legislative agenda.
James also said he’d undertaken his
own communication to the new Republican
leaders of North Carolinas state legislature.
He says he’s asked them to take up a variety
of anti-gay social cause, like banning gay
adoptions, prohibiting domestic partner benefits and placing on the ballot an anti-LGBT,
anti-family marriage amendment to the state
constitution.
James’ anti-gay comments following
the Christmas holiday are not the first time
the public official has spoken out strongly
on LGBT issues. He often uses derogatory
language or slurs to describe LGBT people in
debates or communication with fellow public
officials and constituents. During debate last
December on domestic partner benefits for
county employees, James leaned over to
his Democratic colleague, Vilma Leake, and
called her son a “homo.” Leake’s son died
from AIDS in the 1990s.
James has been in office for nearly
two decades and was one of the “Gang of
Five” who voted to strip public arts funding
in the 1990s during the county’s “Angels in
America” controversy.
The Mecklenburg Gay and Lesbian
Political Action Committe (MeckPAC) released
a statement condemning James’ remarks,
which was followed by rounds of condemnation from LGBT bloggers and organizations like
GLAAD. MeckPAC’s statement is reprinted in
full above. : :
more: For the most up-to-date news and
politics, visit goqnotes.com.
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
qnotes
SEXUAL HEALTH
Sexual safety first
Having a good time doesn’t have to come at the cost of
your or your lover’s health
As the New Year rolls in and each of us prepare
for the coming warmth of spring, perhaps it’s wise
to stop and take a moment to reflect on our sexual
health and wellness. After all, with the warmth of
spring and summer comes all sorts of sensuous
temptations; don’t get caught off-guard when Mr.
Right (or Ms. Right Now) comes a knocking.
Prevention
As you see yourself through the rest of these
cold, wintry days don’t forget to protect yourself and
your lovers. It’s easy to hop online, “order in” and
have a treat come to your warm and toasty home,
and it’s just as easy to keep condoms, lube and other
personal items handy.
Most sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) and HIV/AIDS
can be prevented with the simple and proper use of condoms,
though you’ll still want to be careful when it comes to herpes
and syphilis which can be spread through skin-to-skin contact
in places where condoms and other latex barriers can’t protect.
For more on safe, effective and proper condom use, visit  
avert.org/condom.htm.
Testing
Make yourself a new ritual and tradition this New Year
and keep your sexual, as well as physical health, in check. In
January, head to your physician or other healthcare provider
and schedule an annual physical. Oftentimes, physicians include STI and HIV/AIDS testing as a part of routine treatment,
though if your doctor doesn’t consider asking her to perform
these easy tests. If you aren’t able to see a private physician,
there are plenty of public and private resources to help you
gain access to STI and HIV/AIDS testing. Knowing your HIV
status, as well as your status regarding other STIs, is often
the most important step in preventing transmission. Check
10
qnotes
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
qnotes’ online QGuide at goqnotes.com/qguide for links
and contact information for AIDS service organizations
in your area, most of which offer free and confidential
STI and HIV/AIDS testing.
Hepatitis vaccination
Ah! The wonders of medicine. Among some of the
most commonly-transmitted STIs are Hepatitis A and B.
In fact, some people might already be infected with either
of the virus strains and not even know it. Be sure to ask
your doctor about vaccinations for Hep A and B, which
are recommended for most young people under 18 and
those adults who are most at risk.
Both vaccinations for Hep A and B require some
time and effort, though the payoff is well worth it. Hep A
vaccinations require a round of two or three doses and
adults need a booster dose six months-to-one year after
the initial dose. The vaccine is effective for 15-20 years or
more and start providing protection as early as two-tofour weeks after the vaccination process is complete.
Hep B vaccinations require three separate injections
over a period ranging from six months to one year. Like
that for Hep A, this vaccination will protect against Hep B
infection for 15 years or longer.
Hep A and B prevention is also easy, and includes
commonsense solutions like practicing safer sex, washing hands with soap and warm water following restroom
use or before food preparation, never sharing drug use-related
items (like needles, straws, etc.) or body-care items like toothbrushes, razors and nail clippers.
Note: There is no vaccine to prevent Hepatitis C.
HPV vaccination
A few years ago, the gay male community got into a bit of
a tizzy when news broke of a new HPV vaccine. Though approved for girls and women, no tests had been done to gauge
Photo Credit: See-ming Lee, via Flickr. Licensed under Creative Commons.
its effectiveness for use in boys and men. Now, men, too, can
be protected from HPV transmission.
HPV, which causes genital warts, can also cause cervical
cancer in women and anal cancer in men.
Girls and women can choose from two vaccines, Cervarix
and Gardisil. Men can be vaccinated with Gardisil, which is recommended for both men and women through 26 years of age.
For more information, visit cdc.gov/hpv/. : :
— qnotes staff
t-notes
by robbi cohn :: qnotes contributor
What’s going on, North Carolina?
I hate that it’s so easy to get source material exposing the bigotry still alive and well in
this state. Within a span of 12 days, three stories made news, right here in North Carolina.
Another appeared on their heels. They’re indicative of how much animus, intolerance and
downright hate still exists in this state vis-à-vis
trans and LGB issues. I sometimes have to
wonder if we’ve made much headway in the
court of public opinion. Given that real change
is usually a grassroots kind of thing, watching
how social mores evolve gives us insights into
how tolerance and diversity evolve. Judging
by these letters and articles, it would seem
that we’re still living in the dark ages.
The first item appeared just before
Thanksgiving. Someone living in Davidson
County wrote a homophobic letter to
The (Lexington, N.C.) Dispatch entitled
“Homosexual Threat.”
The letter was chock full of the kind of
lies and innuendo we hope to see a new
generation of Americans repudiate; you know:
predator myths, mental illness allegations, as
well as the “it’s a lifestyle” meme. You can
respond to this kind of nonsense (we did), but
there’s always some wingnut ready to step up.
My letter was followed by the classic “God
chastens America.” This one trotted out the
“America is a second rate power, thanks to all
you perverts and the Anti Christ” diatribe. Just
to make sure we comprehend how hateful this
writer is, he throws in the following gem “You
can be homosexual, bisexual, murderer, rapist
or whatever because there’s no moral law
against it.” Sheeessshhh!
You can find both letters at The Dispatch’s
website, as well as the replies: the-dispatch.
com/section/opinion02.
A few days after Thanksgiving, I heard
about the G105 incident. If you aren’t familiar
with this Raleigh radio station, G105 airs one
of those comedy-in-the-morning shows. This
one originally aired on Nov. 12, 2010. See
this column online to hear the broadcast:
goqnotes.com/to/opinion/t-notes.
The gist of the conversation with the caller
detailed his experience in a nightclub with a
trans-identied woman whom he claims had
deceived him. Amongst the banter were copious pronoun mis-pronunications including
references to “it” and “she-him.” These were
tame compared to the tack the conversation
eventually took. After the caller described a
kiss, one of the moderators asked how many
times he (the caller) had showered after learning, to his disgust, that the person he kissed
was trans. But, most heinous and disturbing
was the remark to which GLAAD responded.
From the GLAAD blog, “One of the hosts even
went as far as to advocate violence against
her and likened her to a sexually transmitted
infection.”
On Dec. 5, Raleigh’s News and Observer
ran a story on an incarcerated trans woman.
Shawn McDaniels has since been released,
but the experiences related to us about life
in prison for a trans woman are enough to
scare the crap out of anyone. As if it weren’t
frightening enough to be victimized by other
inmates, the heinous stories of alleged sexual
abuse at the hands of prison guards are
downright alarming. One officer has been
charged and is now awaiting trial.
“Penitentiary is a different world,”
McDaniels, who was released on parole Oct.
1, told The News & Observer. “A sergeant
with three stripes, his word is gold. If I didn’t
do as he said, he could have written me up
for nothing, had me thrown into the hole. He
could have said I hit him and had me arrested.
Nobody’s going to take my word over his.”
This is the kind of dark-ages behavior still
being perpetrated against trans individuals.
Lastly, there is the case of Mike Adams,
a professor at UNC-Wilmington. Adams is a
well-known trans-phobe who writes a column
for TownHall.com and other commentary sites.
Recently, Greensboro’s News & Record ran an
article, eventually picked up by The Associated
Press, about a voice clinic for trans-identified
women at UNC-Greensboro. Mike Adams just
couldn’t resist. On Dec. 8, he let forth a tirade
with the kind of hateful vitriol we have come to
expect from this out-and-out bigot.
“According to the AP,” Adams wrote,
“’Nicole’ actually spent over $100,000 on an
attempted transition from male to female,
including flying to, of all places, Thailand, for
sexual reassignment surgery. (Please, no dirty
Bangkok jokes.) After spending a whopping
$20,000 on facial hair removal Nicole still had
a problem: His voice still gave him away as a
male (because he was and still is a male).”
Adams added, “Despite the deep budget
crisis, North Carolina taxpayers pay UNCG
speech pathologists to teach transgender
people how to speak like the people of the
sex they are trying unsuccessfully to become.
Does that make sense? Of course it doesn’t.
We’re talking about UNC-Gomorrah.”
Many have expressed their dismay to
UNC-Wilmington, but, to our best knowledge,
Adams has been an independent agent and
Town Hall has no apparent connection to
UNCW. Fair-minded individuals recognize that
Adams certainly has a constitutional right to
spout obnoxious vitriol; fair-minded individuals can make their voices heard, as well, and
let the public know about Adams’ and others’
despicable behavior.
Additionally, North Carolinians still have
no statewide protections against discrimination aimed at LGBT citizens. While 13 states
and hundreds of jurisdictions nationwide have
enacted laws, only three local jurisdictions
in North Carolina have followed suit. And, as
noted, the human rights of those who have
been incarcerated are tragically in jeopardy.
It is not the case that efforts to educate
have been lacking. Many trans individuals
have spent countless hours talking, writing
and speaking. We are not unaware of the
mechanisms that induce change, but where
our efforts to inform others regarding discriminatory behavior end, we feel it is incumbent
upon citizens who believe in equal rights to
pick up the torch and educate themselves,
their families, friends and coworkers. The
fight for equality belongs to everyone. To
paraphrase Martin Luther King, Jr., no one
will truly enjoy equal rights until we all have a
share in equality. : :
— Comments and corrections can
be sent to editor@goqnotes.com.
To contact Robbi Cohn,
email robbi_cohn108@yahoo.com..
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
qnotes
11
I RESOLVE
A better you, a better community
Community members across the Carolinas share their New Year’s resolutions for themselves and their communities
Akil Campbell
Co-Chair
Shades of Pride/Triangle Black
Pride
Raleigh
Reflecting on 2010 I must say
there are a number of things I
could have done differently, a few
things I could have attempted and
a few opportunities that I may have
missed. The year also granted me
the opportunity to meet a number of great
people, to network with community leaders
and true representatives and to give back in
the little minuscule way that I was able to.
A victim of the recession’s lay offs, I was
blessed with the time to get to know the community of which I am a part, to finally meet my
neighbors, my LGBTQ sisters and brothers,
to realize the value of friendships and the
pleasure which comes with servitude.
For 2011, I vow to give more of myself to
my community, to better understand its needs
and to deliver effective solutions based on this
understanding. I must contribute more.
BETTER U
Bruce Converse
Executive Producer/Writer/
Weekly Co-host
Rainbow Radio-The Real Gay Agenda (WXRY
99.3 FM)
Columbia
First, for the big picture, I resolve to
continue doing whatever it takes to keep the
ball rolling forward towards Total Equality
everywhere. Whether it is putting my name
on email petitions or calling senators and
representatives in Washington, D.C., I will
pledge to continue to do that. This past year
has shown that progress, as painfully slow as
it has been for some, continues to happen but
only if we all work together towards that goal
of Total Equality. If we ever let that ball stop
its forward progress or take too many steps
backward, those who are working just as
hard to keep LGBT people from ever reaching
Total Equality, will never let us ever get that
ball rolling ever again.
Personally, I will continue putting
together the Rainbow Radio Shows every
week. I have been fortunate to have been
part of this groundbreaking and history-making program since its inception. Every show
we do (I say “we” because it is a group
effort, as small as that group is) continues
to make LGBT history, not only here in the
Midlands of South Carolina but because of
the internet, everywhere in the world. For a
half hour each week, I want our shows to
continue shining the light of truth as to who
LGBT people really are, as well as spotlight
our straight allies.
Roberta Dunn
Board member
MeckPAC
Lesbian & Gay Community Center
Charlotte
Let me get the easy one over first: Lose
some weight, say 12 pounds. One pound a
month or less than 4 ounces a week. That’s
less than one potato (I’m Irish) or a few cookies a week. Sounds easy, so why didn’t it work
last year? LOL.
Now some real things to get done for
2011: I want to continue to work with the
Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department on
training on LGBT issues. I hope this outreach
to them will spark someone or something to
bring in new information to help solve the
murder of Toni Alston. To continue working
with MeckPAC to get the City Council to take
positive action on LGBT equality in Charlotte
this New Year, especially employment nondiscrimination for transgender people. This is
long overdue.
Addison Ore
Executive Director
Triad Health Project
Greensboro
I’m using the word intentions vs. resolutions as we head into 2011.
I’ll keep my personal ones private (as
to only disappoint myself) but for our community at large, I would wish that we all be
more intentional in our communications going
forward whether that is in person, online or in
print. Civility and kindness seem to have been
relegated to the “out” list of late.
I will admit to being called “Miss
Manners” by a few friends but as we head into
a new year of challenging conversations with
folks who may not identify as LGBT friendly, it
seems as if a cocktail of civility with a splash
of common sense would serve us well.
Now please don’t misunderstand me, I’m
still always ready to take my white gloves off
in a spirited fight for LGBT rights.
Cheers!
Steven Petrow
Author
“Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay &
Lesbian Manners”
Chapel Hill
A young man posted his New Year’s
resolution on my site www.gaymanners.com:
“Just to be me no matter what. Always be real
no matter who thinks what about me! Love
hard, learn to forgive always, and remember
that life is short. Live it to the fullest with no
regrets!” I couldn’t say it better myself.
Brett Webb-Mitchell
qnotes contributor
Author
“On Being A Gay Parent”
Carrboro
My New Year’s resolution is to continue
to write, speak out, and reveal publicly
places, situations, and relationships where
LGBTQ parents in particular are treated
as second class citizens, and to celebrate
where there is a breakthrough in ways that
we are related to as equals with non-LGBTQ
parents. This resolution is spurred on by
being and becoming more tuned in to how
the changing of federal and state laws (for
good or ill) affects our families; discovering
organizations where discrimination against
LGBTQ parents is still firmly in place, like the
Boy Scouts of America; and being constantly
surprised in the moments where a note of
grace has sounded in an otherwise acrimonious relationship. : :
How choosing you benefits everyone
New Year, New You: Physical fitness
Can putting yourself first be considered an
unselfish decision? When it comes to your health, the
answer is yes. By putting your health first, you’re not
only staying well for you, but also for your loved ones.
One in three women will develop cancer in her
lifetime, but about 50 percent of cancer deaths
could be prevented if women maintained a healthy
weight through diet and regular exercise, avoided
tobacco products and got recommended cancer
screenings, according to the American Cancer Society. Yet,
women are often so busy taking care of others that they
struggle to make their own health a priority. In fact, a recent
survey by the American Cancer Society showed that while
95 percent of women feel the need to improve their health,
approximately three out of five admit they put others’ health
before their own.
In the constant struggle between family, work and self, how
can you put yourself first? Whether sticking to your New Year’s
resolution, preparing for swimsuit season or simply wanting
to live a healthier lifestyle, here are six tips to help reach your
wellness goals:
Eat right. Healthy eating is difficult in today’s busy world.
To help you meet your goals, take time to record your intake in
a food journal. A diet that is low in fat, high in fiber, with lots of
fruits and vegetables, has been shown to help reduce the risk
of developing cancer.
Get active. Exercise often gets neglected, but just 30 minutes of moderate physical activity five days a week can reduce
12
Dan Mauney
Takeover Friday
Charlotte
Looking back over the past year and the
past decade of success with Gay Bingo,
Takeover Friday, BRIEF! and Step, I want the
next decade to be a time of more personal
growth with family, friends and to really give
more to the charities that matter to me. May
Takeover Friday continue to connect our
community in ways that we have never been
connected making everyone feel a part of
the greater picture. May our community unify
together to make a bigger difference in the
world we live and extend our hand further
across the aisle to impact the lives of our
straight allies and community. May I personally be a better son, brother and relative to
my family who mean the world to me. May
I be a better friend to my close friends and
acquaintances. May I continue to maintain my
sense of humor in life and never let the daily
challenges tarnish my light. And, may I hold
onto the little hair that I have left on my head
or at least wear hats better. Here’s to 2011 and
the incredible adventures that lay ahead.
qnotes
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
your risk of cancer, heart disease, even diabetes. If possible,
exercise before work or during lunch, so you can spend time
with your family or indulge in “me-time” once you get home.
Get recommended health screenings. Prevention and early
detection are two of the most powerful tools you have for your
health. Make visiting a doctor for preventative care a regular
part of your health regimen, and set reminders to schedule important appointments and
screenings.
Quit smoking. Smoking causes one in
five deaths in the United States, and a myriad
of health problems. There are many tools
and resources available online that can help
distract you from your cravings and show you
just how much those packs of cigarettes cost
you over time.
Protect your skin. A majority of skin
cancer cases diagnosed in the U.S. are considered to be sun-related. When in the sun,
wear protective clothing, sunscreen with an
SPF rating of 15 or higher and sunglasses that
block UV rays.
Choose you. Commit to making healthy living and early detection a priority by making a
Choose You Commitment, a movement developed by the American Cancer Society to help
women put their health first to help reduce
cancer risk. This online program provides
tools and support to enable women to commit to, and achieve
their personal health and wellness goals.
For more information on how to make your personal health a
priority, visit chooseyou.com. : :
— ARAContent
Photo Credit: familymwr, via Flickr. Licensed under Creative Commons.
INSIDE OUT
Carry a ‘helper’s high’ into
New Year
Doing good deeds, service to others has positive emotional benefits
by Tyler DeVere :: tdevere@goqnotes.com
Research shows that helping
others can make us feel enormously better about ourselves. It’s
called “helper’s high.” Being there
for others in their times of need
makes us feel more a part of a
community that watches out for its
own members.
Photo Credit: kelsey_lovefusionphoto, via Flickr.
Licensed under Creative Commons.
For more than a decade, psychological
studies have shown the significance of this
phenomenon. It’s been linked to the release
of brain chemicals, such as endorphins, that
uplift our mood and attitude. Some research
has even shown that this can strengthen the
immune system or relieve aches and pains in
the body.
This New Year, improve
your health by giving to
friends, family or even
strangers. There are
many things you can do to
achieve this “helper’s high”
that comes from selfless
action.
First, consider showing
some poignant gratitude
to those who have helped
you already. Hand-written thank you notes are
much more personal than
an email, phone call or
a casual “thank you.” A
sincere message of thanks
is special to the recipient
who might deeply appreciate the sentiment. Plus,
the good feeling he or she
gets from being thanked
in a meaningful way will
karmatically make you feel
good about yourself as
well. This can also make us feel grateful for
what we’ve been given, which is important for
putting our lives into perspective.
Another great way to attain that warm
feeling of altruism is through volunteering with
community organizations or projects. Whether
it’s political activism, working at a soup
kitchen, building for Habitat for Humanity, or
any number of other activities, community service is a fulfilling endeavor that will be its own
reward. Not only are non-profit organizations
often severely under-staffed, meaning infinite
appreciation for volunteers, but it’s extremely
satisfying to see the tangible results of our
efforts given freely to aid our fellow people.
Christmas and birthdays are not the only
times of the year we can give each other gifts.
In fact, a random present to a spouse or friend
can bring us a wonderful feeling in return.
Keep in mind, gifts come in many different
forms and are not always bought at a store. A
special night out, a helping hand with regular
mundane chores or pursuing someone else’s
hobbies or interests can all be terrific demonstrations of love. The faces of our loved ones
lit up with joy can be the greatest gift of all.
Just remember that if you want good for
yourself, the direct path isn’t always the most
effective path. “What goes around comes
around.” Giving something of yourself — time,
financial contributions, energy, etc. — to
those around you can ultimately come back to
you in even bigger and better ways. : :
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
qnotes
13
out in the stars
by charlene lichtenstein :: qnotes contributor
January 8-21
Personal circumstances can change. Or,
maybe, what changes
is our perception of
them. The way we communicate (Mercury) our
love (Venus) gets us certain results (Mars). Will
you remain tight lipped or will you open up wide?
CAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) Your world is buzzing
with anticipation. Get the gossip mill going full
steam and control it from behind the curtain.
Being mysterious pays off for you especially if
you can populate the stream with some personal
good press. Pink Caps yearn to be admired. Why
stop at mere admiration? Work towards making
some of this buzz into money, honey.
AQUARIUS (01.21-02.19) Friends support you
in any crazy enterprise that you can conjure
up. So, aim for the bleachers and swing hard.
Aqueerians have been percolating some great
ideas for a while. Now is the time to reveal them
and see how the public drinks it up. You will find
yourself in the center of all the activity. Meet,
greet and see who you can impress…with your
ideas not your hands. Unless?
PISCES (02.20-03.20) You impress the higher ups
and can get away with almost anything at work.
So, glide on your charm and see what else you
can achieve while you are in their good graces.
But, hurry with your professional plots. Soon
you will find it more entertaining to dabble in the
occult or something spiritual. And, that does not
mix with corporate politics. Unless it is voodoo.
ARIES (03.21-04.20) Proud Rams are most effective if they can keep their thoughts on the job,
even though they dream of faraway romantic
places. You are busy, busy. How can you do what
14
qnotes
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
you want when you want? Try enlisting a group
of colleagues to give you a helping hand. If that
doesn’t work, maybe you can get bosses to talk
to the hand. Of course, you can always just offer
the finger.
TAURUS (04.21-05.21) Love is not only in the air,
it is all over the darn place. Spread your steam
internationally and see who answers your siren
call. It will be hard to concentrate on material
things. Your heart and mind are wrapped up in
the moment. Of course, too much sex and not
enough thought behind it can lead to wasted
efforts and a dissipated lifestyle. Or, maybe that
is the hope?
GEMINI (05.22-06.21) Focus on all different types
of relationships from love to office to posse. Pink
Twins often relate to people on a very informal
level which works well for some but not all.
Here’s my advice: Put a little more salty and
sweet oomph in all one-to-ones and see how
folks respond. You will have some eating out of
your hand. Better wash your hands frequently.
CANCER (06.22-07.23) Gay Crabs seem to really
enjoy their jobs. And, why not? You are successfully building bridges with co-workers and
even have a few plans to expand your power
into new areas of domination. Heh, heh. So take
your time and deeply concentrate on anything
that requires attention to detail, strategy and
stealth. Any loose ends could spell trobble…
err…trouble.
LEO (07.24-08.23) Party your pants off and be
especially charming and delightful. Proud Lions
need a work breather and there is plenty of
opportunity to lead you off-track. But, there is
a method to this party madness. You do a little
work within the boundaries of fun. Bolster your
contacts so you can tap them later for important
work-related initiatives. Errr, corporate retreats?
VIRGO (08.24-09.23) Home entertaining becomes
the be-all and end-all. Gather the troops and plan
some festive get-togethers. Queer Virgins also
benefit from the exercise derived from home
improvement projects whether remodeling or
restructuring. Of course, a few able bodied pals
should always be made to feel welcome and
useful in these circumstances. Why should you
buff up alone?
LIBRA (09.24-10.23) Proud Libras know just what
to say to make others feel warm and fuzzy. How
is this different from usual? This time you may
have an ulterior motive to your charm. Certain
people can help you re-establish links to lost
family members. Why now? Because there is
something inside of you that hankers for connection…even if only to satisfy your morbid
curiosity.
SCORPIO (10.24-11.22) You feel like treating
yourself to something frivolous and decadent. Go
for it. Queer Scorps obviously need some spoiling. Perhaps, that is because you have been in
the refrigerator too long? Freshen up your dance
card by planning some block parties or other
ways to bring the neighbors together. Pretty
soon they will beat a path to your door. Uh, oh.
SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.22) The fates work behind the scenes for you. With a little forethought
and some astute questioning, gay Archers can
make inroads into any sticky and prickly financial issue. Put your mind to it. You can emerge,
if not more solvent, at least more stable. Then
you can go the next step in any extravagant
personal project you like. And, even some that
you don’t like. : :
© 2011 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All Rights
Reserved. Entertainment.
info: Visit www.TheStarryEye.com for
e-greetings, horoscopes and Pride jewelry. My
book “HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology For
Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster is
available at bookstores and major booksites.
tell trinity
by trinity :: qnotes contributor
Can love at 40 be like it
was at 20?
Hello Trinity,
When I was 20 I fell in love so easily.
Now I’m 40 and I have trouble letting
myself fall in love. Why is it so hard
at 40?
Lost Love, Jacksonville, FL
Hello Lost Love,
Sure at 20, love meant long make out
sessions to Bee Gees
albums, but now at 40
love has to compete
with long workdays,
internet malfunctions
and the aging process! So, honey,
if you want love at 40, simply make time to
find it instead of wasting time complaining
about it. Go out more, make more “moves”
on people you’re interested in and, lastly,
make more dates. Simply make more
time to find love and feeling it will follow, I
promise.
Hey Trinity,
Don’t you think therapy is a waste of time
and money? Don’t you think we can get
though our problems alone?
Skeptical, Denver, CO
Hey Skeptical,
Sure, sometimes you’re better off alone, but at other times you
really do need more than one mind to get you through traumas,
tragedies and men. Solving your own problems is
sweet, sweetie, but often it’s better to hire a trained
professional to help me, I mean you, deal with those
no-good, lying, cheating men. Now didn’t letting that
out feel good? (Get a bit of good counsel from my
cartoon.)
Dearest Trinity,
I try to work up the courage to talk to guys that I find attractive, but I always say the wrong thing or nothing at all, plus that
overwhelming fear of rejection. How can I get past my own
shyness to tell someone I like them?
Too Shy For Words, Austin, TX
Dearest To Shy For Words,
To get over my shyness,
my fear of rejection and my
fear of saying the wrong
thing, I took acting classes,
Insight ® Seminars and
pushed myself to just say
“Hello.” Start by a) breathing a few times before
approaching someone,
b) letting your shyness
be natural, it’s often more
cute than you think, and c)
start your night off with a
martini. God made martinis
for a reason, baby!
Hey Trinity,
I frequently go to bars and
chat online, but still no
bites. What more can I do
without spending every day and night looking for a date/mate?
Enough’s Enough, Detroit, MI
Dear, Enough’s Enough
It’s not enough to hit the bars or chat online hoping. Pumpkin,
dating is work and a commitment to yourself by following:
Trinity’s Practical Dating Declarations
  1. Practice: I promise to date even if “I think” it won’t work out,
simply because it builds my character analysis and intuition.
  2. Consistency: I promise to get right back on the dating horse
even when I have more than two bad dates in a row.
  3. Help: I promise to ask friends, relatives and coworkers to
set me up on dates even if it’s blind dates.
  4. Packaging: I promise to look and act my best and keep my
problems to myself, at least until the fourth date.
  5. Timing: I promise to be on time, be clear if I have to be late
and be open to changing times if someone has to.
  6. Honesty: I promise to be as honest as I can about my feelings even if it means telling someone what they don’t want
to hear.
  7. Obsessing: I promise not to call more than once a day or
leave more than a few text messages in one day’s time!
  8. Self-Respect: I promise to date people who treat me with
respect and kindness and to do the same to them.
  9. Survival: I promise to end all bad, self-destructive and/ordangerous situations even if it means leaving town for a
week.
10. Lastly, Risk: I promise to give each date a chance even if  
it means being less: self-righteous, self-loathing or selfindulgent. : :
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was
host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama,
and now performs globally.
info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
Tell Trinity, P.O. Box 23861 . Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33307
Sponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild
800-637-8696 . www.ptown.org
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
qnotes
15
16
qnotes
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
News Notes
continued from page 7
end of 2011; Feldblum will now serve through
July 2013.
“We commend the Senate for finally
setting aside pointless partisanship and
confirming this highly qualified candidate for
a full term on the EEOC,” said Human Rights
Campaign President Joe Solmonese. “Chai
Feldblum has spent decades working to
protect those most ignored and maligned by
our society. The civil rights of all Americans
will be in good hands with Chai Feldblum’s
continued service on the EEOC.”
Prior to her recess appointment, Feldblum
served as a professor of law at Georgetown
University Law Center. Throughout her career,
she has worked to enact protections for
some of the most stigmatized populations
in America. As legislative counsel for the
American Civil Liberties Union in the 1980s,
she worked to secure legal protections for
people with AIDS at a time when the disease
was vilified and poorly understood. Professor
Feldblum also played a leading role in the
drafting and negotiation of the Americans
with Disabilities Act of 1990.
— D.S.
Wingers boycott wingers over gays
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Several right-wing
groups including two conservative power
players say they will boycott the annual
Conservative Political Action Conference this
year due to the inclusion of a gay Republican
group. The high-profile event brings thousands of conservatives to the nation’s capital
each February. Many groups are upset that
GOProud, a gay group that participated in the
conference last year, is being allowed to return. The angered parties argue that allowing
a gay group to officially participate violates
conservative ideals of faith and family.
The American Principles Project started
the flap when it announced its intention to skip
CPAC because of GOProud. A number of orga-
nizations followed suit culminating with boycott
announcements from both the Family Research
Council and Concerned Women for America.
In an interview with Salon.com, GOProud
Executive Director Jimmy LaSalvia declined
to respond directly to the groups boycotting
the conference, saying only that “CPAC is an
important event and I hope that all conservatives will join in participating. We’re very
proud of our record, and we’ll put our conservative credentials up against anyone.”
— D.S.
Global
Israeli gay couples can adopt
A precedent-setting ruling last month
in the Jerusalem Family Court has blazed
a path for gays to officially adopt their
partner’s or spouse’s child, The Jerusalem
Post reports. The child in question in the
landmark case was born two years go to a
man via a surrogate mother in India. About a
year ago, the man’s partner initiated action
to adopt the child.
The two men pursued the usual adoption
process – including passing a review from a
social worker who submitted a positive recommendation to the Jerusalem Family Court.
However, the court was hesitant to rule since
there was no precedent for this type of adoption. After an attorney presented the men’s
case to the court, the adoption was granted.
“This is a big step for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community in Israel,”
commented lawyer Irit Rosenblum, executive
director of New Family, an organization that
champions the rights of Israelis to marry and
build families outside the traditional system.
“However, there is still a long road to the desired recognition, since each issue pertaining
to gay rights is decided by the courts, and not
by the legislature.”
— D.S.
info: Have news or other information? Send
your press releases and updates for inclusion
in our News Notes: editor@goqnotes.com.
qomunity qonexions u
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
qnotes
17
18
qnotes
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
Arts & Science Council chief speaks
Guild welcomes members, guests
Jan. 18 • Charlotte
Guild: Scott Provancher
The Charlotte Business Guild hosts Arts & Science Council President Scott Provancher. Crowne Plaza Hotel,  
201 S. McDowell St. 5:30-8 p.m. $20. Includes dinner, tea, coffee and dessert. Cash bar available. For reservations
call 704-565-5075 or emailbusinessguild@yahoo.com. For more information, visit charlottebusinessguild.org.
Thru Jan. 22 • Charlotte
‘Pageant: The Musical’
Stuart Williams Productions and Theatre650,
the twisted little sister of Actor’s Theatre of
Charlotte, present “Pageant: The Musical,”
a campy musical comedy about the pitfalls
of beauty pageants. Performances held Jan.
6-22, various times and prices. For more information or to buy tickets call 704-342-2251, ext.
21, or visit, actorstheatrecharlotte.org.
Jan. 8 • Charlotte
Hot Chocolate Social
The Charlotte Pride Band will hold a hot chocolate social. Meet members of the band as they
kick off the second half of their 2010-11 season.
Enjoy a warm beverage, baked goodies and
mix and mingle. Lesbian & Gay Community
Center of Charlotte, 820 Hamilton St., Suite B11.
5:30-7 p.m. charlotteprideband.org.
On the horizon
March 5 • Charlotte
Amazing Race Bar Crawl
The Regional AIDS Interfaith Network
(RAIN) hosts their annual Amazing Race
Bar Crawl. Teams compete through a
series of bars to complete the race and
race money for RAIN and its services.
carolinarain.org.
March 25-27 • Charlotte
GayCharlotte Film Festival
The Lesbian & Gay Community Center of
Charlotte hosts its annual GayCharlotte
Film Festival. gaycharlotte.com.
May 7 • Charlotte
AIDS Walk
RAIN hosts its annual AIDS Walk.  
aidswalkcharlotte.org.
May 14 • Raleigh
OutRaleigh
The LGBT Center of Raleigh presents its
first OutRaleigh festival at City Plaza and
Fayetteville St. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.
Jan. 8 • Winston-Salem
Film screening: ‘Maybe…Maybe Not’
OUT at the Movies, Winston-Salem’s GLBT
Film Series, will screen “Maybe…Maybe
Not” at the UNC School of the Arts’ ACE
Theatre Complex, 1533 S. Main St. 7 p.m. For
more information and to see the trailer, visit
outatthemovieswinston.org.
Jan. 11 • Durham
TGMC open auditions
The Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus will hold open
auditions for new members. The selection
process is relaxed and no prepared pieces
are required. Participants must be 18 years
old or over. Durham Arts Council, 120 Morris
St. 6:45-9:15 p.m. For more information email
membership@tgmchorus.org or visit  
tgmchorus.org.
Jan. 14 • Durham
TASA meet and greet
TASA will hold its first meet and greet for the
Spring 2011 Season. Join in to find out about
the league and how you can become part
of TASA’s LGBT softball family. The captains
and players will be there to talk and answer
questions. The league includes co-ed, men’s
and women’s divisions; all skill levels are
welcome. Club Steel Blue, 711 Rigsbee Ave. 7
p.m. Free. trianglesoftball.com.
Jan. 18 • Charlotte
Open auditions: ‘Love Labours’
Open auditions will be held for the world
premiere of “Love Labours,” an original romantic comedy written by Edward L. Malone.
Lesbian & Gay Community Center of Charlotte,
820 Hamilton St., Suite B11. 6 p.m. For more
information on the auditions process, visit
gaycharlotte.com.
Jan. 18 • Durham
TGMC open auditions
The Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus will hold open
auditions for new members. The selection
process is relaxed and no prepared pieces
are required. Participants must be 18 years
old or over. Durham Arts Council, 120 Morris
St. 6:45-9:15 p.m. For more information email
membership@tgmchorus.org or visit  
tgmchorus.org.
Jan. 20-23 • Boone
NC Gay Ski Weekend
NC Mountain Boys and JustTwirl.com present
the 2011 NC Gay Ski Weekend at Blowing
Rock’s Crestwood Resort and Spa, including
JustTwirl’s SnowBall 2011 with DJ Seth Cooper.
For more information and to register or purchase tickets visitncgayskiweekend.com.
Jan. 21 • Greensboro
One Upon a Bingo
Join Guilford Green Foundation for their first
Green Queen Bingo of 2011. The Empire Room,
203 S. Elm St. Doors open at 6 p.m. Games
begin at 7 :30 p.m. $15/general. $1-0/student or
military. ggfnc.org.
Jan. 22 • Charlotte
TOY community service
Time Out Youth hosts a community service
volunteer opportunity for youth, staff and
volunteers at Second Harvest Food Bank of
Metrolina from 9 a.m. to noon. Transportation
from the TOY offices will be available at 8:30
a.m. For more information contact Sherika
Jackson at sjackson@timeoutyouth.org.
Q
events
qnotes
goqnotes.com/qguide/events
arts. entertainment. news. views.
at 6:30 p.m. Games begin at 7:30 p.m. $20/general. $10/students. equalitywinstonsalem.org.
Feb. 11 • Charlotte
Rededication
Temple Beth El rededicates their sanctuary
during a special Shabbat service. Join the
congregation, elected officials, community
members and area religious leaders for this
special occasion at one of Charlotte’s many
LGBT-friendly religious institutions. Temple
Beth El, 5101 Providence Rd. 6:50 p.m.  
beth-el.com.
Feb. 26 • Raleigh
HRC Gala
The Human Rights Campaign hosts their
North Carolina Gala at the Raleigh Convention
Center. For more information, including ticket
prices, accommodations, advertising and
sponsorship opportunities, volunteer sign-up
or awards nominations, visit hrccarolina.org.
Jan. 25 • Durham
TGMC open auditions
The Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus will hold open
auditions for new members. The selection
process is relaxed and no prepared pieces
are required. Participants must be 18 years
old or over. Durham Arts Council, 120 Morris
St. 6:45-9:15 p.m. For more information email
membership@tgmchorus.org or visit  
tgmchorus.org.
Feb. 4 • Winston-Salem
Gay Bingo
Equality Winston-Salem presents their first
gay bingo, “For the Love of Gay Bingo.”
YWCA-Gateway, 1300 S. Main St. Doors open
Jan. 8-21 . 2011
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20
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Jan. 8-21 . 2011