BUSInESS FOR SaLE

Transcription

BUSInESS FOR SaLE

Come to Northeast Michigan and Enjoy...
The Good Life
Vol. 2, Issue 9 • SEPTEMBER 2008
Published by The Good Life Press
LINCOLN TRUCK CO.
“Brand Spankin’ Used”
100 Main St, Lincoln 48742
(989) 736-7600
FREE!
Editor: I. M. Free
Also Available:
2005 Dodge Durango 4WD,
34k miles, 3rd row seating
2006 Jeep Grand Cherokee. 4x4, 30k
miles. $14,976
Alabama : Seems this guy wanted
some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he’d just throw a
cinder block through a liquor
store window, grab some booze,
and run.
So he lifted the cinder block
and heaved it over his head at
the window. The cinder block
bounced back knocking him
unconscious. It seems the liquor
store window was made of PlexiGlass.The
whole event
was caught
on videotape.
Still think YOU’RE having a bad day?
Did you hear about the two blondes
who almost froze to death in a drive-in
movie? They had gone to see
“Closed for the Winter.”
Early this year,
some Boeing
employees on
the airfield
decided to steal
a life raft from one of the
747s. They were successful
in getting it out of the plane
and home. Shortly after they
took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard
helicopter coming toward
them. It turned out that the
chopper was homing in on
the emergency locater beacon
that activated when the raft
was inflated. They are no
longer employed at Boeing.
2004 Chevy Silverado LT. Heated
leather, 4WD, clean, 110k miles
‘06 Jeep Commander. V6, 4WD, 25k miles.
‘05 Chevy Pickup 4x4, long box.
‘05 Chevy Equinox LT. AWD. 46k miles.
‘05 GMC Envoy SLE. 4WD. 35k miles, sunroof.
‘05 Chevy Silverado, short box, 4WD. 64k miles.
‘02 Chevy Trailblazer LTZ, 4x4. 86k miles.
‘01 Ford Ranger 4WD, edge package, super cab.
‘01 Chevy 2500HD, crew cab, 4x4, 92k miles, 1 owner.
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit
asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”
The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
“Last week the candle
factory burned down.
Everyone just stood
around and sang,
‘Happy Birthday’”
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very high up.
– Steven Wright
A blonde’s car breaks down on the Interstate one day. So she eases
it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the
car and opens the trunk. Out jump two men wearing nothing but
trench coats who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand
facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing
themselves to approaching drivers...
Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in history of this highway
occurs.
It’s not very long before a police car shows up.
The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the blonde of the disabled
vehicle yelling, “What’s going on here?!?”
“My car broke down,” says the lady, calmly.
“Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?!” asks the
cop...
And she says....
“Those are my emergency flashers!”
The famous Olympic skier
Picabo Street (pronounced
Peek-A-Boo) is not just an
athlete. She is now a nurse
currently working at the
Intensive Care Unit of a large
metropolitan hospital.
She is not permitted
to answer the hospital
telephones. It caused too
much confusion when she
would answer the phone and
say,
“Picabo, ICU.”
Free Estimates
Collision Work
Scrap Removal
Oil Changes
Detailing
Towing
Indoor Storage for
Boats & RV’s
Horse Boarding
Cell: 989-278-9124
Justin OWNER
Ph. 989-335-4017
www.myspace.com/durfeesautomotive • durfeesautomotive@yahoo.com
MENTION OR BRING AD FOR
10% OFF ANY SERVICE
402 4th St. • Lincoln, MI 48742 - At the end of W. Alger St.
Appliance Outlet & More
Sales & Service
HOT WATER HEATERS
ANY NEW HOT WATER
HEATER...$150
Your Choice
GENERATORS • BBQ GRILLS • LAWNMOWERS
SCRATCH & DENT
50% the Cost of New!
1193 Lake St • Tawas, MI 48763
BUS: 989.984.0100
FAX: 989.984.0120
Business for Sale
Bar and Grill with
3-Bedroom Home
and 4 lots
in Harrisville.
(989) 724-6641
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Tell Our Advertisers You Saw Them in the good life!!!
The Good Life - SEPTEMBER 2008
Don’t Let Your Summer Tan Fade!
OPEN
Many Tanning Packages Available
9-5:00
Walk-Ins Welcome!
Mon-Fri
See Dawn, Donna, Linda, Jes, & Tammy
9-1 Sat
for All Your Family Hair Care Needs!
306 N. State St, Oscoda • 739-4730
Alteration & Maintenance Contractor
Vinyl Siding
Windows • Doors
Painting • Rough &
Finish Carpentry
Paul Pallagi - Licensed Builder
989-739-7824
JUST IN! Large Deck, Bench Storage Boxes
Tarps - Tools - Hardware - Rope
Shepherd’s Hooks - General Merchandise
Paints - Stains - Sealers - Sandpaper
Gloves - Rabbit Cages - Pet Supplies & More
Sunrise Surplus
1784 East US-23
(in Baldwin Center)
East Tawas, MI 48730
Mon-Fri 8:30-5:00
Sat 8:30-4:00
(989) 362-7033
“If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a
phone number?” – Robin Williams
BRIAN ANKNER
Custom
ReUpholstery
All Work Done in Smoke
Free Shop!
201 S. Second St.
Lincoln, MI
1-989-736-7467
COMMUNITY
EVENTS
A Jewish businessman was
in a great deal of trouble. His
business was failing, he had
put everything he had into the
business, he owed everybody
it was so bad he was even
contemplating suicide. As a
last resort he went to a Rabbi
and poured out his story of
tears and woe.
When he had finished, the
Rabbi said, “Here’s what I
want you to do: Put a beach
chair and your Bible in your
car and drive down to the
beach. Take the beach chair
and the Bible to the water’s
edge, sit down in the beach
chair, and put the Bible in your
lap.
Open the Bible; the wind will
rifle the pages, but finally the
open Bible will come to rest
on a page. Look down at the
page and read the first thing
you see. That will be your
answer, that will tell you what
to do.”
A year later the businessman
went back to the Rabbi and
brought his wife and children
with him. The man was
in a new custom- tailored
suit, his wife in a mink coat,
the children shining. The
businessman pulled an
envelope stuffed with money
out of his pocket, gave it to the
Rabbi as a donation in thanks
for his advice.
The Rabbi recognized the
benefactor, and was curious.
“You did as I suggested?” he
asked.
“Absolutely,” replied the
businessman.
“You went to the beach?”
www.StrongStyleTattoo.com
Tattoos by Scott Myers
819 W. Chisholm Street, Alpena
989-464-6826
Professional
Body Piercing
Mon - Sat Noon to 7pm
Leading the Way
in Comfort
Specializing In
In-Floor Radiant Heating
Geothermal Heating and Cooling
Carrier Central Heating and Cooling
ALSO OFFERING THE BEST IN:
Hydronic Baseboard t Domestic Hot Water
Ice & Snow Melt t Gas Furnaces
Air Conditioning t Heat Pumps
Whole House Hepa Filtration t The Perfect Window
130 E. Ainsley
Hale, MI 48739
(989) 728-5955
(877) 879-8726
Visit Us at www.colvinsheating.com
“Absolutely.”
“You sat in a beach chair with
the Bible in your lap?”
“Absolutely.”
“You let the pages rifle until
they stopped?”
“Absolutely.”
“And what were the first words
you saw?”
“Chapter 11.”
10th Annual Antique,
Classic Car and
Tractor Show
Sponsored be the Lincoln DDA
and Lincoln Lions
$10 Registration - Dash
Plaques to first 100 entries
No charge for spectators
Friday NIGHT September 12th
PARKING LOT PARTY AND
CAR CRUISE 5:30 - 7:30 at
Village Home Center
Live Entertainment in the Tent
with Da Bourbon Boys 8-11 pm
$5 Cover
Saturday Sept 13th
Registration at 9:00am
Music with Stevie D
Downhill Derby
50/50s All Day -Texas Hold’em
Tournament at 5:30 in Tent $60
Buy-in
ANNUAL BLACK BEAR
FESTIVAL
September 27 & 28, Curran.
Craft show, parade, car show,
motorcycle rally, horse pull, food
& entertainment. For info, call
Greg at (989) 848-5610.
“DRAGON DAY”
September 20, Harrisville
Train Depot. Family event
with cake walk, chili cook-off,
entertainment, prizes & more.
For info, call Cheryl or John
at (989) 724-6384.
DIRT, INC. RACES
Sept. 21: Sun. race. Race starts
at 11am. For more info, call
989-736-8379
7th ANNUAL 50’s & 60’s
DANCE
September 6, 2008. 6:30pm,
East Tawas Community Bldg.
3rd Annual Tour De
AuSable Bike Race
October 4-5, Oscoda. Saturday
road race thru town, Sunday
mountain bike race at Old
Orchard Park. For more
information call (989) 739-9231
HAUNTED HOUSE AND
HAYRIDES
Every week-end in October
bring the family out to Old
Orchard Park on River Rd
located 6 miles west of Oscoda
for some fun scary times your
sure to enjoy. call 989-739-7814
for more information
13th ANNUAL GREAT
LAKES LIGHTHOUSE
FESTIVAL
October 9-12. Visit the Great
Lakes Lighthouses along Lake
Huron’s Beautiful Sunrise Side.
For more info, contact Melanie
Kirn at 586-566-1603
www.lighthousefestival.org
ANNUAL RAILROAD
DAYS
October 11, Tawas
www.tawas.com
FARMERS’ MARKET
Wednesday’s: 10am - 2pm,
AuSable Shoreline Park, Oscoda,
at the river on US-23.
Saturday’s: 8am - 1pm, Gateway
Park, at the river on US-23 in
Tawas City.
locally grown produce, artisan
baked goods, foods and floral.
For more info: 989-362-8688
THE ALPENA LEADS CLUB
meeting every Tuesday. For
more information, go to
www.alpenaleadsclub.com
Businesses in the Alpena area
promoting one another.
Submit Your Group’s Events to The Good Life Community
Calendar! See below for contact info...
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The Good Life Press, P.O. Box 92, Lincoln, MI 48742
Publisher and Editor-at-Large: Chris Rayburn
The Good Life Press
P.O. Box 92, Lincoln, MI 48742
989-335-4200 • NEW Cell: 989-335-3642
www.thegoodlifepress.com • e-mail: info@thegoodlifepress.com
Joke contributions are always welcome! Send jokes and other funny stuff
to the address above or email.
We also invite non-profit organizations to send event information for our
community calendar for dates from October 15th through November.
All materials presented in The Good Life are for your entertainment only. Although we strive for accuracy, neither
The Good Life Press nor its advertisers or other associates offer any warranty as to the accuracy of any information
presented in The Good Life. Neither The Good Life Press nor its advertisers or other associates will assume any
liability for typographical mistakes, misprinted information, or other errors.
advertise your business in the good life! Call 989.335.4200
We’re in
Trouble
The population of this
country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do
the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do
the work.
Of this there are 35 million
employed by the federal
government.
Leaving 15 million to do the
work.
2.8 million are in the armed
forces preoccupied with
finding Osama Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 12.2 million to
do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8
million people who work for
state and city
Governments. And that
leaves 1.4 million to do the
work.
At any given time there are
188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the
work.
Now, there are 1,211,998
people in prisons.
That leaves just two people
to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are,
Sitting on your butt, reading
jokes.
Nice. Real nice.....
Antiques & Vintage Collectibles
Randy McKinney
Home Goods
& Furniture
National Rifle Association
Certified Instructor
Pistol and Personal Protection
Tammy’s Collectibles
& Treasures Galore
989-739-6911
Also located inside Fabulous Finds (Bruggar’s Plaza)
310 W. Lake St., Tawas City • 989-362-5165
Marilyn’s
Never having seen anyone from
Detroit at Heaven’s Door,
Saint Peter said he would have to
check with God.
After hearing the news, God
instructed him to admit the ten
most virtuous people from the
group.
A few minutes later, St. Peter
returned to God, breathless, and
said, “They’re gone!”
‘What? All of the Detroiters are
gone?’ asked God.
‘ No!’ replied Saint Peter. ‘The
Pearly Gates!’
989-724-5599
Harrisville, MI 48740
989-739-5937
Oscoda, MI 48750
Remember When
Tracy (989) 710-1250
DreamWeaversH Antiqu
om
Traditions & Trends
Judy Curtis - Design Consultant
989-739-1258
e
eG s&
ood
s
Located in Hobart’s Plaza, 4221 US‑23, Oscoda, MI 48750
(just south of the bridge in Oscoda) • Winter Hours: Mon-Sat 10am-5:30pm
An Amazing Story
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after
graduating from Northwestern University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young
bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The
elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very
carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s
foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded
in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked
the wood out with his huntin g knife, after which the
elephant gingerly put down its foo t. The elephant turned
to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its
face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter
stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and
walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the
events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the
Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached
the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and
walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron
were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter,
lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The
elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all
the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn’t
help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter
summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and
made his way into the enclosure. He walked right u p to
the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant
trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter
legs and slammed his stupid ass against the railing, killing
him instantly.
Probably wasn’t the same elephant.
Thought this was going to be one of those heartwarming stories, didn’t you?
Saint Peter was manning the
Pearly Gates when forty people
from Detroit showed up.
n
PRICES ARE FALLING
SA L E
HOT
TUB
We Also Have a Huge Variety of...
• Shoes
• Jewelry
• Gloves
• Purses
• Jackets
• Shawls
• Anniversary Supplies
• Invitations
• Wilton
185 N. State Street (Located in Alpena Harborside Mall)
(989) 358-BRIDE (2743)
“Never pick a fight with an ugly person,
they’ve got nothing to lose.”
– Robin Williams
The Shortest Books
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
By Jane Fonda, Illustrated by Michael Moore
THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
By Bill Gates
THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
By Dennis Rodman
AMELIA EARHART’S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
By O.J. Simpson
TOLERANCE AND SANITY
By Fred Phelps
Back“FRoom
A
ntiques
N T O ”
rom
ew
o
ld
Furniture - Jewelry - Home Decor
Lighting - Antler Art - Animal & Fish Mounts
Custom Woodworking Available
Something for Everyone
402 W. Lake St. (US-23), Tawas City, MI 48763
Located in the Liberty Bldg. • (989) 362-0400
Open 7 Days. Mon-Sat 10-5, Sundays 11-4
A&S STARTER CO.
415 NO. US-23 • OMER, MI 48749
OPEN
Ph: (989) 653-2750
Mon-Fri 8am-5pm • Saturdays 8am-Noon
Summer Thursdays 8am-4pm
Specializing in Repairing & Rebuilding
of Starters, Generators & Motors for:
Hot Tubs
as Low as
$2,499
Largest
Selection of
Tubs Ever Sold
at Discount
Prices
Now Offering Rental Linens in White or Ivory
Round & Banquet, Skirting & So Much More
4-10
Person Tubs
Available
Up to 25%
OFF
Select Tubs
HOT TUBS
FREE SETUP & DELIVERY of Spas
220 Sable St. (Downtown Alpena)
Toll Free 888-356-2642
989-356-2642 • 989-354-3164
Visit Us at www.alspools.com
LOWEST
PRICES –
GUARANTEED!!!
Serving
the Area
for Over
40 Years
Farm, Industrial, Marine, Truck, Passenger,
Domestic, Foreign, Personal Water Craft,
Motorcycles, ATV’s, Snowmobiles,
Lawn Care Equipment,
Golf Cart Starter/Generators, Tarp Motors,
Pump Motors, Lift Gate Motors,
and Many Other DC Motors.
Free Testing & Free Repair Estimates
Four Technicians to Serve You,
88 Years Combined Experience
27 Years Located in Beautiful Downtown Omer
n
NORTHERN ACCENTS
LOG furniture • upholstered furniture • lamps
framed PRINTS • motion clocks • many gift ideas
By appointment
Walk ins welcome
Open Daily Year ‘Round
Mon. - Sat. 9:30 - 5:00 • Sun. 11-4
gift certificates available
“Providing a full line of beauty services from head to toe”
989-724-5404
211 S. State (US‑23), Harrisville
MAGGIE’S GIFTS
A Large Selection of the Latest Trends in Jewelry, Priced Right
Many Unique & Whimsical Gifts for All Occasions
Infant Gifts • Webkinz
Fall Sale - Savings on Select Items
Open Daily 10-5 • Sunday 11-3
Harbortown Marketplace - 410 Main St, Harrisville
(989-724-7566
Fall Color
Pontoon Rentals ll
Stop or Ca
Gordon’s
Hunting
& ORV
Licenses
12 MONTHS NO PAYMENT NO INTEREST
TO QUALIFIED BUYERS
The irate customer
calling the newspaper
offices loudly demanded
to know where her
Sunday edition was.
“Ma’am,” said the
employee, “today is
Saturday! The Sunday
paper is not delivered till
Sunday!”
BAIT & TACKLE
Minnows w Crawlers w Waxworms w Leafworms w Crickets
Pop w Snacks wCampfire Wood wCorn & Hay
There was quite a pause
on the other end of the
phone,followed by a ray of
recognition.
OPEN 7 DAYS • Daylight to Dark - Just Stop In!
“So THAT’S why no one
was in church today!”
6075 N. M‑65, Glennie at the AuSable River & Five Channels Dam
(989) 728-2248
A blond pushes her BMW into a gas
station. She tells the mechanic it
died.
After he works on it for a few
minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, ‘What’s the story?’
He replies, ‘Just crap in the
carburetor’
She asks, ‘How often do I have to do
that?’
A Handy Tip
Peel a banana from the bottom and you won‘t have to
pick the little “stringy things” off of it. That‘s how the
primates do it.
Also...Take your bananas apart when you get home
from the store. If you leave them connected at the
stem, they ripen faster.
Richard’s Pharmacy, Gifts & Variety
Main Street, Harrisville
(989) 724-5178
Scrapbooking, Office & Computer Supplies
Crafts, Floral, Yarn, Floss & Buttons
BatteriestLight BulbstHousewares
Gifts & SouvenirstHoliday Decorations
Hanes Sweats, T-Shirts & Socks
CardstCandiestStover Candy
Visit us at our web site:
www.moosetalesgifts.com
email: moosetales@kwcom.net
989-724-7555
• Hubbard Lake Coffee
• McCall’s Candles - New Scents!
• Up-North Home Décor
• A Little Christmas Year ‘Round
Varsity Jackets Now Available
Aug/Sept Hours:
Open Tuesday-Friday 10-5
Sat 11-3 • Closed Sunday
108 N. State St • Box 98 • Harrisville, MI 48740
How It All
Works
Three contractors are
bidding to fix a broken
fence at the White House in
D.C. One from New Jersey,
another from Tennessee and
the third, Florida.
They go with a White
House official to examine
the fence.
The Florida contractor takes
out a tape measure and
does some measuring, then
works some figures with a
pencil. “Well,” he says, “I
figure the job will run about
$900: $400 for materials,
$400 for my crew and $100
profit for me.”
The Tennessee contractor
also does some measuring
and figuring, then says, “I
can do this job for $700:
$300 for materials, $300
for my crew and $100 profit
for me.”
The New Jersey contractor
doesn’t measure or figure,
but leans over to the White
House official and whispers,
“$2,700.”
The official, incredulous,
says, “You didn’t even
measure like the other guys!
How did you come up with
such a high figure?”
The New Jersey contractor
whispers back, “$1000 for
me, $1000 for you, and we
hire the guy from Tennessee
to fix the fence.”
“Done!” replies the
government official.
And that friends, is how it
all works.
Stop i
n
on Yo
ur
Color
Tour!
Seed Cleansing & Separating • Making Special Feed Mixers
Low Feed
Prices
Call for Quote
(989) 464-0527
It is said that the ability to make and understand PUNS is the
highest level of language development. Here are the top 10
winners in the International Pun Contest.
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.
The Stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one
carrion allowed per passenger.
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the
other and says, ‘Dam!’
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you
can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’
The other says, ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m
positive.’
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain
during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and
were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the
office and asked them to disperse. But why they asked, as
they moved off. ‘Because,’ he said, ‘I can’t stand chess-nuts
boasting in an open foyer.’
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One
of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The
other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him Juan. Years
later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she
also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, ‘They’re
twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.’
8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so
they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone
liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across
town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good
fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and
begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival
florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious
thug in town to ‘persuade’ them to close. Hugh beat up the
friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t
close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only
Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the
time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with
his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh,
man, this is SO BAD, it’s good) a super calloused fragile mystic
hexed by halitosis.
10. And, finally, there was the person who sent ten different
puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns
would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
n
The Oscoda Commons
5737 N. US‑23, Oscoda
Karpp’s Oscoda RadioShack Dealer
N
FULL-LINE RADIOSHACK
Suite #4
Classes Now Available
Open to the Public for...
Haircuts $5 ~ Shampoo & Set $5 ~ Perms starting at $30
Manicures $5 ~ Pedicures $15
All Services Performed by Senior Students
(989) 739-1956
Suite #1
Premium Sound
Alltel Authorized Agent • (989)
Get the
Blackberry
Pearl
for $79*
Suite #7
739-2058
Turn to page 27 to see the sicko caught in the act.
“Dear God,
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar,
the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit,
but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you
see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride!
Would it be so hard to rename the ‘Chrysler Eagle’
the ‘Chrysler Beagle’?
Love, Fido”
366 S. US-23, Harrisville
989-724-6212
U-Haul Authorized Dealer
Truck Sales
Truck & Trailer Rentals
Plus Moving
Supplies
Mon-Fri 9-5;
Sat 9-1
VISA & MASTERCARD ACCEPTED
North Star Diner
Daily Breakfast and
Lunch Specials
A couple are going out for a
night on the town. They’re all
dolled up, ready to go; the
lights left on, the dog put out.
But just as the taxi arrives and
they step out of the house,
the dog darts back inside and
won’t come out.
They don’t want to leave the
dog inside, so the husband
goes upstairs to find it, while
the wife goes to wait in the
taxi.
Not wanting it known that
the house will be empty, she
explains to the driver that her
husband had just gone “to say
good-bye to my mother.”
A few minutes later, the
husband gets into the cab.
“Sorry I took so long,” he
says. “Stupid bitch was hiding
under the bed and I had to
poke her with a coat-hanger
to get her to come out! Then
I had to wrap her in a blanket
to keep her from scratching
and biting me as I hauled her
downstairs and tossed her in
the backyard! She’d better not
crap in the vegetable garden
again!”
The silence in the cab was
deafening.
For the Most “REALICIOUS” Properties in Northeast
Michigan, See the Real Estate Professionals at
Heritage
House
Realty
of Harrisville, Inc.
1-800-982-0102
Fax: (989) 724-6656
heritagehouse@charterinternet.com
Qualified GoGetters Wanted!
234 S. Huron (US-23)
PO Box 572
Louella Shellenbarger, Realtor®
Janene Lovelace, Realtor®
Connie Sysak, Realtor®
Wendy K. Reeves Richardson, Realtor®
Visit Us at www.heritageharrisville.com
Larry Lyle
Owner/Broker
Betty Jo Lyle
Owner/Realtor®
Enjoy movies, sports,
news & more on over 70
national HD channels
Digital Converters Now in Stock
S
Prepaid Time Available
Open 9-5 Mon. thru Sat.
(989) 739-2111
We Accept the $40 Federal Rebate Card
Gary’s
Hair Care
Friday
Also Visit Our Locations in
Alpena and East Tawas
(989) 724-5800
Authorized Agent
AYCE Fish & Chips $7.99
This girl I know lives on the 4th floor of an apartment, and even
though it is a fairly good neighborhood, she has been having
trouble with a Peeping Tom that lives next door...
Every time she goes out on her balcony to catch a bit of sun
while wearing her bikini, this Peeping Tom looks over from his
balcony as soon as she removes her top, and stares at her...
She has complained to the superintendent about this Peeping
Tom, but he says she must have positive proof before he can do
a thing –
She FINALLY got a picture of him while he was staring at her...
Golf Carts
Accessories – Lift Kits,
Boxes, etc.
Parts & Service
All Makes
Mon-Fri 9-5;
Sat 9-1
Wireless
E
Friday-Saturday 6am-3pm
Sunday-Thursday 6am-2pm
*Price after Mail in
rebate and with a
2 year agreement
B&D Sales
W
Hours: Mon-Fri 8:30-5:30 • (989) 739-3464
Suite
#6
MEN’S AND BOYS HAIR CUT
ONLY $6.00 with Coupon
My Glass Wings
Custom Stained Glass
Design and Fabrication
Classes * Repairs
Art Glass Supply * Gifts of Glass
Classes...Open Enrollment
Create Your Sun Catcher or Window!
Keepsakes or Classes for You & Your Family
Gift Certificates Always Available
Phone 989-358-9464
See our booth at Harmony Weekend, Harrisville
Johnrowe Building
Visit us at www.myglasswings.com
106 Second Ave, Alpena
e-mail: GlassWings@Sisna.com
WANTED:
Artist-Beader looking for retail workspace or
classroom space.
My Glass Wings Stained Glass Studio in Alpena’s
downtown arts district is offering to share a large,
historic building on 2nd Avenue.
A great foot traffic location.
Call Tina at 989-358-9464 for more information.
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.
He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve
lost my grandpa!”
“The cop asked, “What’s he like?”
The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied,
“Crown Royal whiskey and women with big boobs.”
“It has been said that
politics is the second
oldest profession. I
have learned that
it bears a striking
resemblance to the
first.”
“I bought a dog the
other day...I named
him Stay. It’s fun to
call him. ‘Come here,
Stay! Come here,
Stay!’
He went insane.”
- Ronald Reagan
– Steven Wright
ALCONA HUMANE SOCIETY PETS OF THE MONTH
“Stan”
“Brody”
1 Year old Shepard
mix. Smart, likes to
please. Needs room to
exercise.
“Jasmine”
3 Year old female
Aussie mix. Good
with other dogs.
3/4 Year old male
Manx. Gets along
with other cats.
Very sweet!
“Kimmie”
6/8 Month old
female Torti mix.
Loving and seeks
attention.
FUNDRAISERS TO BENEFIT ALCONA HUMANE SOCIETY:
OCTOBER 1-31: “Adopt a Shelter Dog” month. Please stop by and see the
beautiful pets we have waiting for their “forever” home.
OCTOBER 25: Alcona Humane Society’s 2nd Annual Fur Ball, featuring the Sunrise Jammers.
Dinner 5:30-7:00. Dancing 7:00-10:00. Door prizes, raffles, great food, music and fun.
Bathing Services: $15.00 • You Bathe Them: $10.00
Volunteer Time at the Shelter! 1 or 2 Hours a week will help immensely!
Please call us at 736-PETS for more information.
Please Help! – Donations Needed for Food, Blankets, Litter, Toys, etc.
n
ALL RISK INSURANCE
2213 US 23 S., ALPENA, MI 49707 • 989-358-8400
Where You’re Always Treated Like Family
We Have Eight Great
Companies to Quote
Give Us a Call Today!
Answer on on page 9
“We’re Not Like the Rest
We’re the Best!”
NEDO’S FARM MARKET
& DRIVING RANGE
Now In: Fresh Michigan Produce!
$4...Bucket of 50 • $6...Bucket of 100
4686 F-41, Mikado, MI 48745
Your Full Service Market
Sunday 9am-9pm • Mon-Sat 9am-10pm
Specializing in * Fresh Produce
Convenience Foods * Hardware * Beer * Wine
Liquor * Lotto * Pet Supplies * Wildlife Feed
We Accept Visa &
Master Card
Phone/Fax
(989) 736-6649
Fall
Beer
Specials
Wayne & Marta Nedo
proprietors
Your Cash Connection
The Coin Connection, Inc.
We Buy and Sell U.S.
Coins and Currency,
Gold and Silver Boullion
Hours: Monday-Friday 10am to 6pm, Saturday 10am to 3pm
5103 North US23, Oscoda, MI 48750
In Little Caesar’s Plaza
(989) 739-3900
We Buy and Sell Coins • Coin Supplies • Free Appraisals
A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he
could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case
of making fun of one of the older workmen.
After several minutes, the older worker had enough. ‘Why don’t
you put your money where your mouth is,’ he said. ‘I will bet a
week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to
that building that you won’t be able to wheel back.
‘You’re on, old man,’ the braggart replied. Let’s see you do it.’
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the
handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “ok dummy,
get in!!”
989-736-6895
1-800-618-0999
989-736-8138
Use Our Sony Digital Photo Center for Your Summer Vacation Pictures
A Full Line of Home Office Supplies
Fax 989-736-0618
www.Lincolndrug.com
HAWG’S
Bait, Tackle & Marine
OUR
BAIT IS
GUARANTEED TO
CATCH FISH
OR DIE
TRYING!!
LIVE NUDE
SWIMMERS
Get Your Shiner Minnows Here!
Live Bait & Tackle a Boat Repair aOils & Lubricants
Indoor/Outdoor StorageaWinterizing & Shrinkwrap
Snowmobile & ATV Service - We Service All Makes
Whitefish season is around the corner!
stop in & sign up for our rod & reel giveaway
Mon-Thur 6am-7pm, Fri-Sat 5:30am-9pm
617 West Bay (US‑23), East Tawas
(989) 984-0177
Open 7 Days
Visit Us at www.hawgsbaitandtackle.com
After President Truman retired from office in 1952, he was left
with an income consisting of basically just a U.S.Army pension,
reported to have been only $13,507.72 a year.
Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and
personally licking them, granted him an “allowance” and, later,
a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.
When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he
declined, stating, “You don’t want me. You want the office of
the president, and that doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to the
American people and it’s not for sale.”
Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to
award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused
to accept it, writing, “I don’t consider that I have done anything
which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or
otherwise.”
We now see that other past presidents, have found a new level
of success in cashing in on the presidency, resulting in untold
wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to
become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices.
Obviously, political offices are now for sale.
Good old Harry Truman could have been correct when he
observed, “My choice early in life was either to be a piano
player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth,
there’s hardly any difference. I, for one, believe the piano
player job to be much more honorable than current politicians.”
After having dug to a depth
of 10 feet last year, New York
archaeologist & scientists found
traces of copper wire dating
back 100 years and came to the
conclusion, that their New York
ancestors already had a telephone
network more than 100 years
ago.
Not to be outdone by the
New Yorkers, in the weeks
that followed, in California an
archaeologist & scientists dug to a
depth of 20 feet, and shortly after,
headlines in the LA Times
newspaper read:
California archaeologists have
found traces of 200 year old
copper wire dating back 200 years
and came to the conclusion,
that their California ancestors
already had an advanced hightech communications network a
hundred years earlier than the
New Yorkers.
One week later, The Daily
Oklahoman, a local newspaper in
Oklahoma, reported the following:
After digging as deep as 30 feet
in his pasture near Turner Falls
Bubba, a self-taught archaeologist
& scientist, reported that he
found absolutely nothing. Bubba
has therefore concluded that 300
years ago, Oklahoma had already
gone wireless.
2% GALLON MILK
$2.99 EVERYDAY!!!
LIQUOR • LOTTO
COLD BEER • GROCERIES
SNACKS
PROPANE EXCHANGE
PAYDAY
ADVANCE
NOW AVAILABLE
4199 Werth Rd.
Alpena, MI 49707
989-354-4798
Locally Owned and Operated
Do you really know how to forward emails?
10% do ... 90% don’t.
Do you wonder why you get viruses or junk
mail? Do you hate it? Every time you forward
an email there is information left over from the
people who got the message before you, namely their email
addresses and names. As the messages get forwarded along,
the list of addresses builds, and builds, and builds, and all
it takes is for some poor person to get a virus, and his or her
computer can send that virus to every email address that has
come across his computer. Or, someone can take all of those
addresses and sell them or send junk mail to them in the hopes
that you will go to the site and he will make five cents for each
hit. That’s right, all of that inconvenience over a nickel!
How do you stop it? Well, there are several easy steps:
Try the following if you haven’t done it before:
(1) Never forward an email, Copy the contents you wish to
send and paste them into a new email.
(2) Whenever you send an email to more than one person,
do NOT use the To: or Cc: fields for adding email addresses.
Always use the BCC: (blind carbon copy) field for listing ALL
the email addresses. This is the way the people you send to
will only see their own email address. If you don’t see your
BCC: option click on where it says To: and your address list
will appear. Highlight the address and choose BCC: and that’s
it, it’s that easy. When you send to BCC: your message will
automatically say ‘Undisclosed Recipients in the ‘TO:’ field of
the people who receive it.
(3) Have you ever gotten an email that is a petition? It states
a position and asks you to add your name and address and to
forward it to 10 or 15 people or your entire address book. The
email can be forwarded on and on and can collect thousands of
names and email addresses. A FACT: The completed petition
is actually worth a couple of bucks to a professional spammer
because of the wealth of valid names and email addresses
contained therein. DO NOT put your email address on any
petition. If you want to support the petition, send it as your
own personal letter to the intended recipient. Your position
may carry more weight as a personal letter than a laundry list
of names and email addresses on a petition. (And don’t believe
the ones that say that the e mail is being traced; it just ain’t so!
FACT: Most e-mail petitions are worthless because they do not
fully identify the signer by street address, etc. nor does it prove
that the signer really signed it. Don’t forward them.
Redhead at
the Doctor’s
OffIce
A gorgeous young
redhead goes into the
doctor’s office and
said that her body hurt
wherever she touched it.
‘Impossible!’ says the
doctor. ‘Show me.’
The redhead took her
finger, pushed on her left
shoulder and screamed,
then she pushed her
elbow and screamed
even more. She pushed
her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her
ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched
made her scream.
The doctor said, ‘You’re
not really a redhead, are
you?
‘Well, no’ she said, ‘I’m
actually a blond.’
‘I thought so,’ the
doctor said. ‘Your finger
is broken’
989-356-9800 Phone
989-356-9801 Fax
Serving All of Northern Lower Michigan
Glennie Party Store
Home of the Beer Den
A Great Variety of Ice-Cold Domestic & Import Beer
Liquor * Lotto * Cigarettes * Snacks * Sodas * Videos
Bait & Tackle
3289 State Rd.(M65) in Glennie
989-735-2156
List of Things to Remember in
Order to Be a “Good Dog”
1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after
they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just
because I like the way they smell.
You’ll feel smarter after you
read these celebrity gems...
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
‘Whenever I watch TV and
see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can’t help
but cry. I mean I’d love to be
skinny like that, but not with
all those flies and death and
stuff.’
--Mariah Carey
‘Smoking kills. If you’re killed,
you’ve lost a very important
part of your life,’
-- Brooke Shields, during
an interview to become
spokesperson for federal
anti-smoking campaign
‘Half this game is ninety
percent mental.’
--Philadelphia Phillies
manager, Danny Ozark
‘I love California. I practically
grew up in Phoenix.’
-- Dan Quayle
24-Ho
ur
Emerg
ency
Servic
e
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
Question: If you could live
forever, would you and why?
Answer: ‘I would not live
forever, because we should
not live forever, because if we
were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but
we cannot live forever, which
is why I would not live forever,’
--Miss Alabama in the 1994
Miss USA contest
n
866-544-9800 Toll Free
restoration services
fire • water • smoke
mold • mildew
Feeling
Dumb Today?
‘It isn’t pollution that’s harming
the environment. It’s the
impurities in our air and water
that are doing it.’
--Al Gore, Vice President
Civil War planes? Good luck with that search...
4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when
he’s on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an
unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.
8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m
under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside
and immediately drag my butt.
11. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’
so when I play with him and he
makes that noise, it’s usually not a
good thing.
TENT RAGE SALE
at Hobart’s Furniture
GA
Mis-ordered, One-of-a-Kind, Cancelled Layaway
30% to 70% OFF
Bring Your Truck or Trailer or Use Our Delivery Service
Open 10-5 Mon/Thurs/Fri/Sat
Hobart’s Plaza (just south of Oscoda)
(989) 739-4000
*H&H Bakery Fresh Subs Available Here*
Bait & Tackle • Gas • Diesel • LP Gas
Jerky Stop & Groceries • Lotto • Beer & Wine
415 E. Huron, P.O. Box 37 • Au Gres, MI 48703
Call for current fishing report and conditions
989-876-6488
n
he Pain
StopNOtPILLS
NO SURGERY
• Relieves acute and chronic pains
• Stimulates nerve function
• Increases the speed, quality and tensile strength
• Develops collagen and muscle tissue
of tissue repair
• Helps generate new and healthy cells and tissue
• Increases blood supply
• Promotes faster wound healing and clot formation
• Stimulates the immune system
• Reduces inflammation
(989) 739-1630
ILUMINAandHEALING
PAIN MANAGEMENT
Low Level Laser Treatment Microlite 830
111 E. Dwight St. Oscoda, MI
Maggie Martella, Ph.D.
A female CNN journalist heard
about a very old Jewish man
who had been going to the
Western Wall to pray, twice a
day, every day, for a long, long
time.
So she went to check it out.
She went to the Western Wall
and there he was, walking
slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray and
after about 45 minutes, when
he turned to leave, using a
cane and moving very slowly,
she approached him for an
interview.
‘Pardon me, sir, I’m Rebecca
Smith from CNN. What’s your
name?
‘Morris Fishbien,’ he replied.
FALL COLOR IS HERE!
Mums, Astors,
Geraniums, Pumpkins,
Shrubbery and More!
All Your Planting &
Gardening Supplies
2236 US-23, Greenbush, MI 48738 (989) 724-5393
‘Sir, how long have you been
coming to the Western Wall
and praying?’
‘For about 60 years.’
‘60 years! That’s amazing!
What do you pray for?’
‘I pray for peace between the
Christians, Jews and the
Muslims. I pray for all the wars
and all the hatred to stop.
I pray for all our children to
grow up safely as responsible
adults, and to love their fellow
man.’
‘How do you feel after doing
this for 60 years?’
‘Like I’m talking to a %#@*ing
wall.’
Revenge is sweet.
“Everybody say cheese and...
WAVE!!!”
A baby moose was in distress in a creek. A
man got him out of the creek; tried to find the
mother & send him on his way, but eventually
the moose stumbled back into the creek &
was rescued again. The baby moose followed
the man home.
The man has only a small cabin so he took the
moose to another neighbour, who took these
photos. They took the moose the next day to
a woman who looks after wild animals & she
put it in a pen with a rescued fawn.
Golf for beginners
Was the painter sadistic or just dumb..?
n
Dining and Entertainment
RED
ROOSTER
restaurant
Full American
& Italian Cuisine
Featuring
Homemade Soups,
Pies & Bread
Try Our Pizza!
Eat-in or Take-out
Daily Specials • Low Prices • Friendly Service
Generous Portions • Breakfast Anytime
WEEKLY SPECIALS:
Tue: All-u-Can-Eat Spaghetti
Wed: Mexican
Thurs: Pizza Specials
Fri: Cod, Perch, Fish & Chips
Sat: Lasagna Supreme
OPEN DAILY 8am - 9pm
989-739-7659
3228 US 23
8 miles N. of Oscoda in Greenbush
“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”
– Steven Wright
Snack Bar & Liquor Bar on Boat
Six Miles West of Oscoda on River Road
Two-Hour Round Trip
on the Beautiful AuSable River
The ONLY Paddlewheel River Boat
of its Kind in the North
Only $12 Adult, $6 Children, Senior Citizen $10
(Rates good thru September 26)
Sep 1-26: 1pm • Sep 27-Oct 19: Fall Color
Call for Schedule and Rate Info
Private Charter Trips Available for 6pm Cruises
P.O. Box 249, Hale, MI 48739
(989) 739-7351 (10am-5pm daily)
(989) 728-3131 (6pm-9pm) OR
(989) 728-6558 (6pm-9pm)
Visit Us at:
www.ausableriverqueen.net
information@ausableriverqueen.net
FAX: (989) 739-2397
HILLTOP
SALOON
(989) 739-0344
#1 People’s Choice
Best Burger
Always Fresh
Never Frozen
Take-out Available
Club Keno • Automatic Keno
Big Screen TV • Friendly Staff
431 N. Mill St • Oscoda (off River Rd.)
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob
says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.”
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel
and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds,
Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps
back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who
was that?”
“It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies.
“Great!” the husband says, “did he say anything about
the $800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story: If you share critical information
pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in
time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.
A Handy Tip
Answer to Crossword
Andy’s Transmission Shop Inc
Transmissions • Transfer Case • Differential
Axles • U-Joints • and More
Owners
Andy
Carpenter
& Jeff
Piper
Phone 989-354-0787 • Fax 989-356-3845
Give us a Call!
5540 US 23 North, Alpena, MI 49707
Mon - Thurs 8:00 - 5:00 / Fri 8:00 - Noon
And Now Open:
Andy’s Service Center
Complete Auto Repair
mA/C
mEngines
mStruts
mShocks
& More
mBrakes
Saturdays By Appointment Only
from page 6
Sponsored by
Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum
foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!
Where Quality is Affordable
Your Complete Drive Line Service Center
Tuesdays & Thursdays
$1.00 Tacos
Fridays
All-You-Can-Eat
Fish & Chips $8.95
A blond was playing
Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She rolled
the dice and she landed
on Science & Nature.
Her question was, ‘If
you are in a vacuum and
someone calls your name,
can you hear it?’
She thought for a time
and then asked, ‘Is it on
or off?’
Call 1-800-BUY-GLOE
for All Your Office Equipment Solutions
We Would
LOVE Some
of Your
Business!
10
n
Good Food, Good FUN
Hours:
Tues/Wed/Thur/Sat
8am-7:30pm
Friday 8am-8pm
Sunday 8am-3pm
Closed Monday
We Offer Burgers, Sandwiches,
Salads, Soups & More!
Stop in and See Us!
Hours of Operation:
Mon-Thurs 9am-4pm • Fri 9am-7pm
www.Take5Deli.com
“Yeah, I know I’m ugly...I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a
zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Harbortown
Pizza
“TASTY TUESDAY”
Medium 2-item pizza $8.00, 4-8pm
“NEW” Hand-Tossed Pizzas
Pizza * Subs * Pasta Dishes
Chicken Wings * Salads
989-724-5000
OPEN
7 DAYS
At the Stoplight in Harrisville
CRYSTAL BAY American Cuisine with Style
Steak, Fish, Homemade Soups,
Biggest Shrimp in Town
Beer/Wine/Cocktails
Try Our Lake Perch Specials &
Saturday Night Prime Rib
Across from Beach in Tawas City
Mon-Sat 8am-9pm • Sun 8am-2pm
RESTAURANT
Open 8am Daily for Breakfast
362-3887
All You can eat
fish fry fridays
Now only $9.99
BRING AD AND
SAVE $1.00
448 W Lake St. (US-23)
Home of
The ALL NEW
Charlie Burger
and
The Best Pizza
in the North!
Weekly Specials:
Wednesday: Italian
Thursday: Mexican
Friday: All-you-can-eat
Lake Perch or Cod,
includes Soup & Salad
Bar
1770 Trask Lake Rd.
Barton City, MI
(989) 736-6751
Bring this coupon
and receive
$3 OFF
00
with second entree
Tues. thru Thurs. Only
THE NORTH END
Family Restaurant
SERVING BREAKFAST, LUNCH, & DINNER
7 AM to 10 PM
OPEN 7
DAYS A
WEEK
DAILY
SPECIALS
HOMEMADE
SOUPS & CHILI
PIZZA
OPEN YEAR
‘ROUND
989-727-2700
At the North End of Hubbard Lake 1575 W. Hubert Rd.
A Handy Tip
Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better
for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer
and better for cooking.
CASUAL DINING
BAKERY
IMPORTED BEER & WINE
GOURMET FOODS
THE WAGON WHEEL
105 S. State Street
Music - Pool - Keno
Mondays Open Pool, 50¢ Drafts All Day
CLOSED
Every Monday Night: Euchre 7pm
SEPTEMBER 13 for
14” 2-Item Pizza w/ Pitcher of Beer $12
Mike & Shawna’s
Every Tuesday 6pm - Ladies Night
Wedding
Wednesdays All-Day Mexican Specialties, $3 Margaritas
Thursdays 25¢ Wings All Day - Dine-in Only
Fri/Sat/Sun BBQ Ribs
Try the All-New
WAGON BURGER!
A 3-lb. Burger on a Homemade
Bun. Large Enough to Feed the
Whole Family!
24-Hour Advance Order Please
$40, $45 w/ Cheese - Feeds up to 16
October 31
Murder Mystery
Games & Prizes
Food & Drink Specials
Karaoke Friday & Saturday Nights
Music Maker
KARAOKE & DJ
NORTHERN MICHIGAN’SBEST DJ
Donna Roussin
Operating with Bose Audio System
2030 East Nicholson Hill Rd in Ossineke - (989) 471-5103
989-724-7473
Manuel & Kim Pompa, Proprietors
theflourgarden@hotmail.com
at the “Four Corners” in Hubbard Lake
Happy Hour v Mon-Thur v 11am to 6pm
MON Rib Special 1/2 Rack w/ French fries
Milwaukee’s Best/ Best Light - $1.00 bottle
TUES Ladies’ Night? ALL DAY LONG!!! / $2.00 Drinks
WED Happy Hour All Day - Bike Night Specials
THURSPizza Special/ $1 off Small, $2 off Med., $3 off Large
FRI Dinner Feature - All You Can Eat Cod $12.95
SUN $1.00 Schnapps ALL DAY, $1.50 Beer ALL DAY
NASCAR SUNDAYS
Try Our Broasted Tavern-Style Chicken - Every Day Cooked to Order
4pc Chicken Dinner $9.95 • Sunday Special 8pc Dinner $9.95
Open 7 Days a Week * Mon-Sat 11am-2am • Sun Noon-2am
All Menu Items Available for Take-out * We Also Have BEER-TO-GO
Kitchen Hours: Sun-Thur Noon-11pm, Fri/Sat Noon-Midnight
7002 Hurbert, N. End Hubbard Lake
(989) 727-3560
Good Food, Good FUN
Kathy’s Family Kitchen
Now Serving Hand-Dipped Ice Cream
Thursday 4:00pm-8:00pm
All-You-Can-Eat Spaghetti $7.99
Includes salad and drink
~~~~~~~~
Friday 4:00pm-8:00pm
All-You-Can-Eat Cod $9.99
including soup & salad
~~~~~~~~
Pizza Carry-Out Available
BBQ Rib Smackers
6 for $5.00
OSCODA
739-1487
5113 North US‑23
Sun/Tues/Wed 7:30am to 2:00pm • Thur/Fri/Sat until 8:00pm • Closed Mon
Offering Breakfast & Lunch • Daily Specials
989-736-8632
We Accept
Home of the
Hot-n-Ready
214 W. Mt. Maria Rd, South Shore of Hubbard Lake
Delivery Available to schools,
clubs, businesses & churches
$3.00 Charge + 10% Gratuity
$10.00 Minimum
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Open Daily at 10am, Sunday at Noon - Grill Open ‘til 9pm
Take-out Orders 739-EATS (3287)
MON-ThuR: Blue Plate Special $6.50
• 41 Plus Item Menu, Including Pizza
• Entertainment Thurs. thru Sat.
• Happy Hour Mon-Fri 4-7 & All Day Sunday
• Keno & Pull Tabs • Free Wi-Fi
For up-to-date menu & events
www.officeloungeandgrill.com
110 E. Dwight Street, Oscoda
739-3388
Homemade Soups Every Day
Sunday 6:30am to 8:00pm
Mon-Wed 6:30am-9:00pm • Thu/Fri/Sat 6:30am-10:00pm
Daily Lunch and Dinner Specials
“When you become senile, you won’t know it.”
– Bill Cosby
all you can eat fish fry! friday $8.00 inc. tax
Pool • Darts • Burgers
Beer Specials on Tuesdays & Thursdays
Entertainment
Welcomes You to Downtown Lincoln
on September 13, 2008 for
The 10th Annual
Lincoln Lions Car Show
Specialty Foods All Day During Car Show
Mini Burgers, Coney Dogs,
Hot Roast Beef Sundae, Pizza by the Slice
Specialty Drinks & Food Specials
Live Entertainment at 9pm,
featuring Mr. D’s DJ & Karaoke
FRIDAY A.Y.C.E. FISH FRY $8.95
Hop in for the best
Char-Grilled Burgers
Deep Dish Pizzas
Grandma’s Homemade Soups
in Northeast Michigan
214 Second St.
Downtown Lincoln
(989) 736-6400
Open 11am-12am • Closed Sun.
Karaoke Wed, Fri, Sat and Sun at 8:00
Happy 50th Birthday, Tammy - September 29th
109 River St. in Alpena
989-356-9117
FRIDAY
101 N. Lake St
Lincoln, MI
ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT COD
989-736-6611
$8.25
MONDAY TACO BAR $6.75
Breakfast ‘Til Noon
Food So Good,
You’ll Think
We Stole Your
Grandma
Sat ‘Til 12:30p
Sun ‘Til 1:00p
Daily LUNCH &
Dinner Specials
Happy 20th Anniversary
Heidi & Leonard
Happy Birthday Leonard - Sep 30th
Congrats to Sarah & Scott
on their New Baby!
Hoppe’s Hut
Never
a Cover
Charge
Live Music Every Weekend (Fri/Sat)
Live Country Music Every Other Sunday
September 12-13 Kopy Katz • 19-20 Liquid Cooled
26-27 Echo’s • October 3-4 Tolin Brothers • 10-11 Defiance
September 14 Karaoke with Zulu
September 21 & October 5 Over the Hill Gang
SERVING A FULL MENU
Burgers • Pizza • Ribs • Prime Rib
Open Daily at 7:00am for Breakfast
6449 M‑65 S. at Werth Rd, Lachine
(989) 379-4456
n
11
12
n
dining, entertainment, PRODUCTs & services
money-saving coupons
DAILY DINING SPECIALS
Mon-Fri
Monday - Dollar Day. Sliders, Tacos & Hot Dogs
1/3 Pound
Tuesday - Club Sandwich w/ French Fries $5.99
Burger
Wednesday - El Grande Wet Burrito $6.99
w/ Draft Beer
Thursday - Hot Meat Loaf Dinner $6.99
Friday - All-You-Can-Eat Perch Fry $7.99
$3.99
11am-2pm
Saturday - $3.99 New York Strips, $1.00 Sides
Sunday - All-You-Can-Eat Spaghetti Dinner $6.99
LIVE ENTERTAINMENT
September 19 & 20
“3rd and Soul”
October 17 & 18
“Grounded”
Halloween Costume Party
Bonfire * Prizes
Food & Drink Specials
Live Entertainment with
“Chapter 11”
D.J. & Karaoke Wed, Thur, Fri, Sat
with Shelly O’Meara
DOLLAR PIZZA BY THE SLICE
Served During Karaoke
We Are a Biker-Friendly Establishment
Wednesday is Ladies Night
5-Close, $1.50 Well Drinks
ALL-NEW KIDS MENU
S AV E
15% OFF
ENTIRE FAMILY’S MEAL
Daily 4-9pm
expires 10/30/08
1217 S. US Highway 23, Tawas City
(989) 362-3666
10% OFF COMPLETE OIL CHANGE
with this ad...expires 10/31/08
Salon & Tanning
4646 Baker Road (M65)
in Glennie
(989) 735-5000
Mon/Tue/Thu/Fri 9:30-4:30
Saturday 9:30-4:00
Closed Wednesday & Sunday
Auto Parts, Sales & Service
• Exhaust
• Oil Change
• Engine Diagnostics
Now
That
Takes
Brains
Two Kentucky
men tried to pull
the front off a
cash machine by
running a chain
from the machine
to the bumper of
their pickup truck.
Instead of pulling
the front panel
off the machine,
though, they pulled
the bumper off the
truck.
They panicked and
fled, leaving the
chain still attached
to the machine,
their bumper still
attached to the
chain, and their
license plate still
attached to the
bumper.
• Rotor/Drum Turning
• Tire Mounting/Rotation/
& Balance
OFF A FULL PEDICURE 50% OFF A Bottle of Lotion
Regular Price $35
with Purchase of Any Tanning Package
Two New Beds!
Bring or Mention This Ad • Expires 10/31/08 Bring or Mention This Ad • Expires 10/31/08
989.356.0918
Mark’s
Magic Touch
$10
00
K & L Stedry Auto
424 N. 2nd Ave, Alpena, MI 49707
Five Areas Cleaned $
Insured
and
Bonded
CARPET, UPHOLSTERY, TILE & GROUT CLEANERS
GUARANTEED ...
MOST THOROUGH CLEANING EVER
125
Includes hall, attached closets & baths. Small furniture
moving only.
Maximum of 250
sq.ft. per area.
Coupon not good
with any other
coupon or offer.
Expires
8/30/08
Expires 10/15/08
Magic Touch
Carpet & Upholstery Cleaners
989-362-9993
25% OFF TILE & GROUT CLEANING
Coupon not good
with any other
coupon or offer.
Expires
8/30/08
Expires 10/15/08
Magic Touch
989-362-9993
Locally Owned & Operated
3 ROOMS $99.00
IICRC Certified Technician Includes
hall, attached closets & baths. Small furniture
moving only.
• RESIDENTIAL
EMERGENCY
Magic Touch
• COMMERCIAL
SERVICE
989-362-9993
• QUICK DRY
24 HOURS A DAY
25% OFF UPHOLSTERY CLEANING
• PET ODOR REMOVAL
TOLL FREE
• FURNITURE MOVED 1-888-729-9900
Magic Touch
989-362-9993
• FLOOD DAMAGE
362-9993
Up to 500 sq.ft.
Coupon not good
with any other
coupon or offer.
Expires
8/30/08
Expires 10/15/08
Coupon good
with any other
coupon or offer.
Expires
8/30/08
Expires 10/15/08
A blonde goes into work
one morning crying her
eyes out Her boss asks
sympathetically, ‘What’s the
matter?’
The blonde replies, ‘Early
this morning I got a phone
call saying that my mother
passed away.’
Tr e a s u r e s F o r e v e r
(989) 876-6385 • P.O. Box 566 AuGres, MI 48703
The boss agrees and the
blonde works as usual. A
couple of hours pass, and
the boss decides to check
on the blonde. He looks out
from his office, and sees the
blonde crying hysterically.
‘Are you okay?’ he asks.
‘No,’ exclaims the blonde, ‘I
just received a horrible call
from my sister. Her mother
died, too!
“The most terrifying
words in the English
language are: ‘I’m from
the government and I’m
here to help.’”
- Ronald Reagan
13
Look for the
Big Red Barn on US-23
South of AuGres.
Owners:
Chris & Debbie Boensch
AmishOak
Crafted
Items
• Hickory
• Cherry • Maple
Oak • Hickory • Cherry • Maple
• Tables & Chairs • Beds & Mattresses • Curios & Hutches • End Tables
• Tables
& Chairs • Beds & Mattresses • Curios & Hutches
• Coffee Tables • Sofa Tables • Heritage Lace • Unique Gift Ideas
End Tables • Coffee Tables • Sofa Tables
Heritage Lace • Homemade Soy Candles • Unique Gift Ideas
Webkinz
SHIPPI
NG
• Hand Dipped Chocolates
A
V
A
ILABLE
• Homemade Fudge
• Sugar Free Chocolate
• Custom Gift Baskets Available
• “Miniature” Chocolate /Caramel Apples
• Chocolate Covered Fruit
• Chocolate Catering for Your Special Occasions
• Holiday Chocolates & Bagged Candy
Got my coffee...
Got my cigarettes...
Got my computer...
Took my Prozac...
It’s gonna be a great
day!
Women who
think about remarrying should
just throw some
men’s underwear
all over the
floor and shove
all the covers to
the other side of
the bed instead.
KRIS MART
The One Stop Store
VALUE PIZZ A
1-Item 14” Medium Pizza
$5.99 EVERY DAY
From our Meat
Boneless Chicken Breast $1.99 / lb.
Department
Whole Boneless Pork Loins $2.29 / lb.
863 N. Barlow, Lincoln, MI
n
Home
Accents
Home
Accents
• Amish Crafted Items
The boss, feeling sorry for
her, says, ‘Why don’t you go
home? Take the day off to
relax and rest.’
‘Thanks, but I’d be better
off here. I need to keep my
mind off it, and I have the
best chance of doing that
here.’
Phone (989) 736-8027
HOURS: Mon - Thurs, 6:30am - 10pm
Fri/Sat 6:30am - 11pm, Sun 8am - 10pm
LARRY'S
PARTS HAUS
(Corner of US-23 and Nicholson Hill Road)
Ossineke, 989-471-2911 • 888-471-2911
Open Monday thru Friday, 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Saturday 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.
See your local Car Quest store for a
complete selection of Agricultural
& Heavy Equipment Batteries
and Filters
- Get your equipment
BARE
HUNTING
SALE
ready
for
cold
weather.
25% Off Entire Inventory of Adult
Whispers
WEProducts
MAKE All Month
6 & Long
12 VOLT
111 River Street
HYDRAULIC
BATTERIES
(989)
358-2045 Alpena,
Michigan 49707
HOSES,
(MOST
STYLES)
Hours:
Noon-6:30pm,
Mon thru
Sat.
MACHINE
FOR FARM &
DRUMS
INDUSTRIAL
★
★
GREAT
(We have a huge selection)
VALENTINE’S
We Have a Huge Selection of $ 00
Buy 2 Large Webkinz for 20
AND
Large
- Just $10
EASTERWebkinz
10%
(limited timeSAVE
offer)
GIFTS!!
ON ACCESSORIES & LIL KINZ
All Other Webkinz & Accessories 10% OFF
Also in Stock
Including
g
o
r
F
Lil
Kinz
•
Clothing
• Mouse Pads • Necklaces
e
ov
OPEN
7
DAYS
L
Lil KinzNo• wClothing
• Mouse
Necklaces
Bracelets
• Lip GlossPads
• Body• Spray
& Gift Bags
& Duck ck!
Charms
•
Trading
Cards
•
Figurines
Bracelets
•
Lip
Gloss
•
Body
Spray
&
Gift
Bags
o
In St
Expires
3/31/08
Charms • TradingOffer
Cards
• Figurines
Ask a
Stupid
Question...
Yesterday I was at my local
Wal-Mart buying a large
bag of Purina dog chow and
was in the checkout line
when a woman behind me
asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had,
an elephant?
So since I’m retired and
have little to do, on impulse
I told her that no, I didn’t
have a dog, I was starting
the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably
shouldn’t, because I ended
up in the hospital last time,
but that I’d lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of
my orifices and IVs in both
arms.
I told her that it was
essentially a perfect diet
and that the way that
it works is to load your
pants pockets with Purina
nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time
you feel hungry. The food
is nutritionally complete
so it works well and I was
going to try it again. (I
have to mention here that
practically everyone in line
was now enthralled with my
story.)
Horrified, she asked if
I ended up in intensive
care because the dog food
poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a
curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s
butt and a car hit us both.
Better watch what you ask
retired people. They have
all the time in the world to
think of crazy things to say.
ALERT: Dangers of Key-Chain Remotes
There is a device that robbers are using now to clone your
security code when you lock your doors on your car using
your key-chain locking device..
They set a distance away and watch for their next
victim. Since they know you are going inside of the store,
restaurant, or bathroom and have a few minutes to steal
and run.
Be sure to manually lock your car door-by hitting the lock
button inside the car, that way if there is someone setting
in a parking lot watching for their next victim it will not be
you.
When you hit the lock button on your car upon exiting...
it does not send the security code, but if you walk away
and use the door lock on your key chain- it sends the
code thru the airwaves where it can be stolen.
If there’s a law against showing boobs
on TV, then what’s with all these political
campaign ads?
Do you realize in about 40 years, we’ll have
thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos
and that rap music will be the “Golden Oldies?”
That’s scary.
Answer on on page 27
14
n
Call JOYCE HOOK, Broker
Office: 989-724-5711 • Toll Free: 800-655-5735
“Sell” Phone: 727-505-2166 • Home: 989-724-7249
e-mail: joycehook@hotmail.com
430 S. US-23 • Harrisville, MI 48740
Great 8.26 acre parcel for hunting or building that “up
north” cabin. Lots of deer, turkey, partridge - wildlife galore!
$29,900 #R1110JH
This beautiful ranch home was rebuilt completely in
2002 and sits on 200 ft of Lake Huron shoreline. Bright knotty
pine, hardwood floors, 10 skylites, ceiling fans in every room,
a large 11 x 20 master suite and 10x13 master bath are just a
few features of this wonderful property. An 8 x 38 glassed in sun
porch with ceramic tile floor give a panoramic view of the lake.
Sliders lead you from the spacious living room to the sun porch.
The 24 x 38 pole barn has two 10 ft doors to hold all your toys
including a tall boat. $329,900 #R1317JR
Here is a golden opportunity to own your own business
and not worry about the actions of an employer. This total package
includes 3 successful businesses, a spacious home that features a
great room, library, office, bar room with built in grill, new windows
and well in 2006. The print shop business has a great reputation
and thrived for 30 years. All the quipment, machines and tools are
included. Most tools and machines are included for the cabinet
making shop. A kiln for drying wood is included. All this on a
beautiful groomed landscape where US-23 brings customers right
by your doorstep. $395,000 #R1323JR
“Dear Tidy-Kleen Laundry Soap Company,
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have!
I’ve used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the
best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month
ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and
uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, the way he
has for most of our marriage. Well, one thing led to another and somehow I
ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of TidyKleen with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the
stains came out!
In fact, the stains came out so well, the detectives who came by yesterday
told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were inconclusive. Then my attorney
called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance
of my husband.
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad
enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you,
once again, for having a great product.
Well, gotta go now. Have to write to the Heft-It
trash bag people.”
Lake Huron and Cedar Lake Access! A Timberlakes
Gem! This 3 bedroom home, with 1 full bath and 2 half baths,
has been extensively updated in 2007, including new siding,
roof, remodeled kitchen w/all new appliances, recently painted,
Anderson Windows, Door Wall, and more. Furnace is 7 years old.
All this sits on 2 lots with stream running across the landscaped
back yard. Private setting. Dues are $20 per year (2 lots). Ready to
move into! $119,900 # R1312JH
Billy the Baptist
Billy’s mother looked out the window
and noticed him ‘playing church’ with
their cat. He had the cat sitting quietly
and he was preaching to it. She smiled
and went about her work.
Quaint 2 bedroom home, just minutes from Lake Huron,
the Harbor, fishing and hunting, is the perfect up north get-a-way.
Sitting on a large 99 x 290 lot, features include a fireplace for
those chilly nights, an attached garage and a large utility room.
Small but cozy. $45,000 #R1252JH
2.7± Acres. A place to hide and across from thousands of acres
of Federal Land with a short easement. $13,500 #R1181KS
A while later she heard loud meowing
and hissing and ran back to the open
window to see Billy baptizing the cat
in a tub of water. She called out, ‘Billy,
stop that! The cat is afraid of water!’
4 BEDROOM, 2 BATH BRICK RANCH - Large country kitchen/
dining room with built-in oven, dishwasher, glass cook top, lots
of cupboard space. Spacious living room with picture window.
Lots of closet space. Two large bedrooms on the first floor.
Partially finished basement with additional 2 bedrooms and
3/4 bath plus cold room and extra room for storage or office. 2
car attached garage with openers and screen room on back of
house. Hot water baseboard heat. Updated electrical service.
Sits on a nice corner lot just minutes away from schools and
downtown Oscoda. Listed below SEV. $89,900 #R1302JH
Billy looked up at her and said, ‘He
should have thought about that before
he joined my church.’
(989) 739-2050 • 800-968-4408
335 South State Street • Oscoda, MI 48750
Website: statewideoscoda.com
www.realestate-mls.com
OF OSCODA
2-BEDROOM HOME, outside completely
remodeled. Inside stripped really for you to complete
“to your likes”. New roof, siding and windows. This property comes with its own bomb shelter! Large heated pole
barn on third lot. Located in quiet neighborhood. This is a
good investment for first time buyers or investors looking
for rental property. $44,500 RMLS# 081-08-0027
Great hunting, fishing and all around outdoor sports cottage in the woods. Comes furnished
and ready to use. AuSable River about 200 feet away.
Can’t beat it for the price. New roof November 2007. Septic
cleaned 7/11/2008. $49,900 RMLS# 081-08-0028
Super Retirement home! No lawn to care for!
Deluxe 4 Bedroom 2.5 Bath Townhome. Hardwood floors,
central air, newly painted interior and large open park
that backs up to the backyard. Access to State Land and
AuSable River just down the street. Many other amenities.
$80,000 RMLS# 081-08-0024
Here are a few of our listings. We invite you to call, come in
or visit us on the web for more on these or other properties.
Absolutely beautiful Lake Huron Property. Ready
to build with city water and underground electric already brought
into property. Permits for septic have been obtained as well.
Beautifully landscaped driveway makes it easy to build your
new home on this already stake surveyed property. SELLER
FINANCING AVAILABLE!! $160,000 RMLS# 081-08-0001
Hunter’s Paradise! Listed below SEV!! Deer Blind
included in the 20 acres of hunting land. Deer and turkey come
with property. Good mix of trees. Mobile home in good shape,
has 2 extension and 3 add ons. Garden tub and separate shower
in Master Bedroom. Kitchen has island w/ bar for added counter
space. 18 x 22 shed. $65,000 RMLS# 081-08-0025
PENTHOUSE!!! Opportunity that rarely comes up. The best of
Surfside Heights. Master bedroom with huge closet and master bath
with large jacuzzi tub as well a separate shower. With plenty of room
in this condo to start with, the vaulted ceilings give you an even greater
feeling of space. Fully furnished and equipped, right down to the pots
and pans. On-site rental management available for weekly rentals. Let
the income make you money for a while. For more information call Kim
Kirvan: 989-484-3468. $189,900 RMLS# 081-07-0036
Prefect for retired couple or first home buyer.
This home is in perfect condition, just move right in and start
enjoying the “Up North experience”. Assoc due $48. monthly,
never cut the grass again. Large common area in back yard for
privacy. The Au Sable is just down the street and Lake Van Ettan
just a stone throw aways. Beautiful wood floor and title kitchen.
Call today! $67,000 RMLS# 081-08-0029
Completely remodeled inside and out! Everything is
new, pergo and carpet flooring, Contemporary lighting, new drywall, Gas Fireplace, Jacuzzi Tub, all new plumbing fixtures, doors
Anderson windows. Cathedral and vaulted wood ceilings. Very
large laundry room. Plus a family room for the overflow of company or kids. Large fenced backyard with tress and lilac brushes.
Open floor plan and large windows. Must see this to appreciate the
value. Motivated Seller! $80,000 RMLS# 081-07-0048
THIS ONE YOU MUST SEE!! Lovely brick ranch in a premier
subdivision offering 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, full finished basement and a park like property. Situated on 2 lots with walking
paths through the trees, all natural landscaping, low maintenance, you will feel like you are part of your own private park.
Beautiful new kitchen and too many updates to mention here.
Call Agent for more information. Priced to sell, don’t miss this
opportunity. $119,000 RMLS# 081-08-0030
Terry Ann Bertone
Kim Kirvan
Ron Mathison
Kristin Sak
Steve DuBree
33.7 ACRES out in the country but still close to civilization!!!
Built in 2006, this lovely 3 bedroom, 2 bath home comes
with everything you might need. Located on a paved road,
this beautifully wooded property offers privacy as well as
all the wildlife you can imagine. Deer blinds set up. Storage
galore in the 2 1/2 car attached garage, 30X40 pole barn
and additional 1 1/2 car garage. Property has been stake
surveyed and copy of survey is in file. What more can you
ask for? $299,000 RMLS# 081-08-0031
Watch the sun rise on Lake Huron from your
deck! Large windows and french doors brings in the lake
breeze and an unobscured view of Lake Huron. Homes has
been completely remodeled inside and out. 100% maintainence free on the outside. New ceilings, drywall and carpet
throughout the home. Large open floor plan for the family
gatherings. Mater Bedroom-Large walkin closet and french
doors leading to deck. Must see to appreciate all the add ons
and location. $275,000 RMLS# 081-08-0032
VACANT LOTS
We have vacant lots
starting at $1,600 and up!
Meet the
quick change
artist of the
MirroCraft
lineup. This
model easily
converts from
a full-featured
fishing boat
to a highperformance
ski boat.
All Troller
models offer
our DeepV hull with
molded-in
spray rails
for a dry ride
and truly great
handling.
Trollers are
very capable
performance
fishing
machines.
4968 Hubbard Lake Rd, Spruce, MI 48762
Certified Mercury & MerCruiser
Parts & Service
OPEN 9-6 MON-SAT • CLOSED SUN
‘Just put yourself in my hands
for one year,’ said the shrink.
Toro t Poulan t Poulan Pro t Weedeater
Cory Uhlbeck - Master Technician
(mowers, saws, generators, etc.)
4374 F-41, Oscoda, MI 48750
989-747-5810
8-4 Mon-Fri • 8-Noon Saturday
Pizza Carry Out - Fri & Sat, 4-8pm
Coffee & Cappuccino • Lottery • Liquor
Snacks • Propane Exchange • Gas
Dan & Kelly Moore
’Come talk to me three times
a week, and we should be able
to get rid of those fears.’‘How
much do you charge?’
‘Eighty dollars per visit, replied
the doctor.’
’I’ll sleep on it,’ said Bubba.
Six months later the doctor
met Bubba on the street.
’Why didn’t you ever come
to see me about those fears
you were having?’ asked the
psychiatrist.
We Repair Any Gas or Diesel Equipment
(989) 876-6910
* “Life’s greatest happiness is to be convinced we are
loved.” - Victor Hugo
* “You are never given a wish without also being given
the power to make it true.” - Richard Bach
* “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
- Mother Teresa
* “Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they
are the children of your soul and the blueprints of your
ultimate achievements.”
‘I’ve got problems. Every time
I go to bed I think there’s
somebody under it. I’m scared.
I think I’m going crazy.’
Sunrise Small Engine Repair
* “Happiness, not in another place but
this place...not for another hour, but this
hour.” - Walt Whitman
* “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others
cannot keep it from themselves.” - James M. Barrie
Bubba Goes to
the Psychiatrist
What’s wrong with this picture?
15
* “A friend is a gift you give yourself.” - Robert Louis
Stevenson
– Bill Cosby
Stop In and See Yours Today at
n
* “Happiness is a habit. Cultivate it.”
- Elbert Hubbard
-- P. J. ORourke
Now Featuring
“I don’t know the key to
success, but the key to failure
is trying to please everybody.”
Viking Marine
“Politicians are wonderful people as long as they
stay away from things they don’t understand,
such as working for a living.”
‘Well Eighty bucks a visit
three times a week for a year
is an awful lot of money! A
bartender cured me for $10.
I was so happy to have saved
all that money that I went and
bought me a new pickup!’
* “Not everything that is faced can be changed.
But nothing can be changed until it is faced.” - James
Baldwin
* “Happiness is not having what you want. It’s wanting
what you have.” - Author Unknown
* “Often the greatest enemy of present happiness is past
happiness too well remembered.” - Oscar Hammling
The principal use of Grandma’s apron was to protect
the dress underneath, but along with that, it served as a
potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.
It was wonderful for drying children’s tears, and on
occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears .
From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying
eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be
finished in the warming oven.
When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding
places for shy kids.
And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it
around her arms.
Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent
over the hot wood stove.
Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in
that apron.
From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the
peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.
In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had
fallen from the trees.
When unexpected company drove up the road, it was
surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in
a matter of seconds.
When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the
porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to
come in from the fields to dinner
It will be a long time before
someone invents something
that will replace that “old-time
apron” that served so many
purposes.
Hubbard Lake General Store
ALL DNR LICENSES
BAIT & TACKLE
BEER - WINE - LIQUOR
FRESH MEATS - GROCERIES
LOTTO - PROPANE
‘Is that so! And how, may I
ask, did a bartender cure you?’
‘He told me to cut the legs off
the bed! - Ain’t nobody under
there now !!!’
(989) 727-9172
NORTH END
“AT THE CORNERS”
16
n
BEAT THE
Penny Lee
Sales Specialist
DIGITAL
DEADLINE
SUNRISE REALTY, INC.
(989) 305-0437
e-mail:
314 North State Street • Oscoda, MI 48750 penny.homes@yahoo.com
Let me help you find your dream home or cottage!
SWITCH NOW!
Time is running out. By February 17, 2009,
you MUST convert to an all-digital signal.
ACT NOW AND SAVE
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America’s Top 100
over 100 favorite channels
$
1
RANCH-DUPLEX STYLE CONDO in “The Villages” where
mowing is done for you and access to AuSable River &
National Forest is steps away! Large picture window in LR/
DR area overlooks partially wooded back yard. Deck to enjoy
cookouts and abundant nature. Close to town & recreational
areas. REDUCED! NOW $89,900 RMLS #080‑08‑0005
VAN ETTAN LAKE FRONTAGE of 194 ft! Enjoy beautiful
expansive view plus wonderful grounds of over one acre
with mature trees. Home interior recently Almost Totally
Remodeled including New Kitchen & Huge 11x23 MB
Suite. Features Sunroom, Screen Porch, Large Deck &
4-Car Garage. REDUCED OVER $100K BELOW SEV!
BANK-OWNED $359,900 RMLS #080-08-0016
MOVE-IN READY RANCH: 3 BR, 1.5 BA. One-car det. garage
w/door opener & 7’x11’ room for storage/workshop. Vaulted
ceilings add flair to home’s open floor plan w/ceiling fans in
LR/DR & MBR. Modern kitchen with many conveniences
Walk to forest and AuSable River beach. HOME WARRANTY.
REDUCED! NOW $62,000 RMLS #080‑08‑0001
QUALITY CUSTOM HOME in desirable neighborhood
with mature trees. Main level includes LR featuring lovely
bay window, Library with built-in bookshelves, Kitchen
with storage galore, Dining, Laundry, Guest Bedroom/
Hobby Room & full Bath. Two spacious BR Suites with
Private Baths on 2nd floor. Private sub access to Lake
Huron nearby! $224,900 RMLS # 080-08-0023
Golfer’s Delight! Two lots being sold as one. Located on
the 18th fairway of “The Serradella” Golf Course and across
from the Lakewood Shores Clubhouse. Plus, you can walk to
nearby Cedar Lake access. Great location to build your new
home! REDUCED! NOW $19,500 RMLS #080-08-0012
Affordable wooded building site across
from Lake Huron. Only .4 mile north of paved public
parking lot at lakeside and easy access to Lake Huron
sandy beach! Enjoy swimming, sit and enjoy the view, or
walk for miles on the beach! $5,500 RMLS # 080-08-0025
32.99/mo
1
DishCD
Over 30 Music Channels
EasT/WEsT
2
3
3
EasT/WEsT
EasT/WEsT
plus
more
= Free Spanish audio feed. 1 = Available at no cost to all DISH Network customers. Requires single-dish antenna configuration. Additional fees may apply for existing DISH Network customers to upgrade their dish antenna. 2 = Available at no additional cost to DISH
Network customers with subscription to qualifying programming. Requires DISH 500+ or DISH 1000+ antenna. Additional fees may apply for existing DISH Network customers to upgrade their dish antenna. 3 = Requires purchase of additional dish antenna to view.
Pricing and programming subject to change without notice.
Call now and get FREE ACTIVATION!
(989) 471-2552 • PROTRONICS
11904 U.S. 23 South • Ossineke • www.4protronics.com
$50 CREDIT │ FREE
on first bill
®
&
for 3 months
(With Commitment)
HBO and Starz offer: requires participation in Digital Home Advantage with 24-month commitment and minimum qualifying programming. Customer receives a credit for each of the first 3 months. After
3 months, customer must call to downgrade or then-current price will apply.
Digital Home Advantage: Requires 24-month qualifying programming purchase, Social Security Number, valid major credit card and credit approval. If qualifying service is terminated prior to end of 24month period, a cancellation fee equal to the lesser of $240 or $10 per cancelled month of service will apply. Equipment must be returned to DISH Network upon termination of qualifying service. Limit
4 tuners per account. Monthly package price includes an equipment rental fee of $5.00 or $7.00 for first receiver, based on selected model. A monthly equipment rental fee of $5.00 or $7.00 will be
charged for each receiver beyond the first, based on selected model. A $5.00/mo. additional outlet programming access fee applies for each dual-tuner receiver; fee will be waived monthly for each
such receiver continuously connected to Customer’s phone line. Lease upgrade fee will apply for select receivers based on model. Offer ends 1/31/09 and is available in the continental United States
for new, first-time DISH Network residential customers. All prices, packages and programming subject to change without notice. Local and state sales taxes may apply. Where applicable, equipment
rental fees and programming are taxed separately. All DISH Network programming, and any other services that are provided, are subject to the terms and conditions of the promotional agreement and
Residential Customer Agreement, available at www.dishnetwork.com or upon request. Social Security Numbers are used to obtain credit scores and will not be released to third parties except for
verification and collection purposes only or if required by governmental authorities. All service marks and trademarks belong to their respective owners.governmental authorities. All service marks and
trademarks belong to their respective owners. HBO® is a service mark of Home Box Office, Inc. Starz and related channels and service marks are the property of Starz Entertainment, LLC.
Broadcasting
from Tawas Bay
• Paul Harvey News & Commentary
“WKJC FM GAME OF THE WEEK” • Paul Harvey’s “The Rest of the Story”
(Some games are carried on HITS FM as noted)
Friday, September 19th Tawas at Ogemaw
Friday, September 26th Tawas at Standish
Friday, October 3rd
Augres at Hale (HITS FM)
Friday, October 3rd
Pinny at Standish
Friday, October 10thOgemaw at Pinny
Friday, October 10thOscoda at Tawas (HITS FM)
Friday, October 17th
Mio at Hale
Friday, October 24th
Whittemore at Tawas
• ABC News & Information
• Local News & Information
• WX Forecasts from The Weather
Channel
• Kevin Allen Mornings 6am-10am
• Tim Herek Afternoons 3pm-7pm
“Your Power Stations for Sports”
Celebrating
50 Years
1958 - 2008
Nascar
MSU Football + Basketball
U of M Football +
Basketball
“The Music of Your Life”
Indoor/Outdoor Storage • Shrinkwrap • Winterizing
Pickup and Delivery Available
Call for Appointment
Servicing All
Makes & Models
Over 20 Years Serving
Northeast Michigan
1109 W. AuSable Rd.
Old US-23 • Oscoda, MI
E-MAIL: boatdocoscoda@yahoo.com
n
17
MILLER AUTO PARTS
An
Unusual
Encounter
337 S. State, Oscoda, MI
(989) 739-3336
Open 8am-5:30pm Mon-Fri
8am-3pm Sat, 10am-2pm Sun
(989) 739-5580
Kalitta & Cooper Standard
DISCOUNTS
Check Out Our New
Line of Tools
Also Now Carrying
Small Engine Parts
This is a quiz for people who know everything! These are
not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight
answers.
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the
participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly
moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their
own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must
be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial
vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real
pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle
is genuine; it hasn’t been cut in any way. How did the pear get
inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters
‘dw’ and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can
you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen,
canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet
beginning with the letter ‘S.’
I didn’t say it was your fault, I
said I was going to BLAME you.
i’m ashamed of
what i did for
a klondike bar.
Redneck Harley
You smile, I smile.
You hurt, I hurt.
You cry, I cry.
You jump off a bridge...
and I’ll really miss your
emails.
9. Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes,
stockings, stilts.
8. Lettuce.
7. Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe,
question mark, exclamation point,quotation marks, brackets,
parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
6. Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.
5. It grew inside the bottle. (The bottles are placed over pear buds
when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is
left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe,
they are snipped off at the stems.)
4. Strawberry.
3. Asparagus and Rhubarb.
2. Niagara Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each
year because of themillions of gallons of wate r that rush over it every
minute.)
1. Boxing
Thick, Tough + Rubbery
That Means
Truckbed Protection
plus! Cargo Protection
Available Now at
Cutting Edge Collision Specialist LLC
“Technology for Today’s Vehicles”
Collision Repair and Custom Paint for Cars, Trucks,
Boats and Motorcycles
989-354-6609
3858 M32 West, Alpena, MI 49707
LITTLE GIRL IN
CHURCH: “Why is
the bride dressed in
white?”
MOMMY:
“White is the color of
joy, and today is most
joyful day of her life.”
LITTLE GIRL:
“Then why is the
groom wearing black?”
the only reason
you’re conscious
right now is
because i don’t
want to carry
you.
Redneck Bass Boat
Custom Blinds, Cornices and Draperies
Let Hunter Douglas Help You Express
Your Own Personal Style
Your Life.
Your Look.
Call for Complimentary In-Home Estimate
401 N. State St., Oscoda • 739-2770
18
n
Hunting and Winter Boots
Irish Setter - Danner - Uggs - Ulu
Toe Warmers
SIZES 5-15
127 Newman • East Tawas, MI 48730
(989) 362-2587 • 1-800-929-3694
AAA to EEEEE
In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and
said:
“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all
flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good
humans.”
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: “You have six months to build the Ark before I will
start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.
Marbie’s Nutrition
Your Complete Health Food Store!
402 Lake Street
Tawas City, MI 48763
989-362-4371
Hours:
Monday-Friday 10am - 5:30pm
Saturday 10am-5pm
A lawyer runs a stop sign & gets pulled over by a sheriff’s deputy.
He thinks he’s smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer
from New York & is certain he has a better education then any cop
from Houston, TX. He decides to prove this to himself & have some
fun at the Texas deputy’s expense.
The deputy says,”License & registration, please.”
“What for?” says the lawyer. The deputy says, “You didn’t come to
a complete stop at the stop sign.” The lawyer says, “I slowed down,
no one was coming.”
“You still didn’t come to a complete stop,” says the deputy. “License
& registration, please.”
The lawyer says, “What’s the difference?”
“The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that’s the
law. License & registration, please!” the Deputy says.
Lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between
slow down & stop, I’ll give you my license & registration; & you give
me the ticket. If not, you let me go & don’t give me the ticket.”
“That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,” the deputy says.
At this point, the deputy takes off his cap and starts smacking the
daylights out of the lawyer with it and says, “Do you want me to
stop, or just slow down?”
Tawas Bay
Yarn Company
Extensive Inventory of
New & Classic Yarns
Classes e Patterns e Needles
New at Tawas Bay Yarn Company.....
The Annex, Open Every Saturday, 10-3
Bargains on Closeouts & Discontinued Yarns
“Noah!” He roared, “I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?”
“Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed.
I needed a building permit.
I’ve been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbors claim that I’ve violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in
my yard and exceeding the height limitations.
We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs
of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark
‘s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear
nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save
the spotted owl.
I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls.
When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane
to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the EPA ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental
impact study on your proposed flood.
I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many
minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew.
Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people
who want to work.
The trades unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers
with Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the
country illegally with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.”
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine,
and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean
you’re not going to destroy the world?”
“No,” said the Lord.
“The government beat me to it.”
Cymbals
Behringer
Guitar Amplifiers
Pro Audio and
PA Systems
131 Newman St.
East Tawas, MI 48730
(989) 362-3766
Tube Amps
Guitar Hot Rodding
and Repair...Amps Too!
Super Sustainer
Guitars
Drum Sale
Complete Package
Incl. Cymbals & Hardware
551 West Lake St. (US23)
at the blinker in Tawas City
Mon-Sat 11am-5pm
989-362-4463
Come See Us...We’re
Worth the Drive!
Visit us at
www.tawasbayyarn.com
Blue Moon Gallery
The East Tawas Experience
229 Newman St. • East Tawas
(989) 362-9069
Unusual and Unique Gifts
Incense • Gemstones • Rocks
Original Artwork
Belly Dancing Attire • Tarot Cards & Supplies
Tremolo Systems
GUITARS
State Licensed
SCOTT
SEPTIC SERVICE
wSeptic Tanks
wDrainfields
wPorta Potties
wSeptic Pumping
(989) 739-5474
wExcavating
wBulldozing
wDemolition
1779 North US23, East Tawas, Michigan 48730
A Handy Tip
To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a
couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or
heavy cream in and then beat them up.
silence is
golden. duct
tape is silver.
A man walks into a
bar and orders one
shot. Then he looks
into his shirt pocket
and orders another
shot. After he finishes,
he looks into his shirt
pocket again and
orders another shot.
The bartender is
curious and askes
him “every time you
order a shot, you look
in your shirt pocket.
Why?”
The man replies, “I
have a picture of my
wife in my pocket and
when she starts to
look good, I go home.”
i don’t mind
the drive to
work. it’s that
8-hour wait to
go home i hate.
Scenario:
Jeffrey won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.
1958
- Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class,
sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2008 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD.
School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping
with his belt.
1958 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and
becomes a successful businessman.
2008 - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a
gang. State psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself
and their dad goes to prison.
Scenario:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1958 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2008 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for
drugs and weapons.
Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model
airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1958 - Ants die.
2008- BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic
terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers
confiscated, Johnny’s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly
again.
Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found
crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1958 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2008 - Mary is accused of being a pedophile and loses her job. She faces at least 3
years in State Prison and has to register as a predator. Johnny undergoes 5 years of
therapy.
Things have gotten so much better, haven’t they?
Store now offering gazing balls with stands, bird baths,
feeders, spinners, wind chimes, P.W. lotions and soaps,
Colonial Candles and garden ponds.
LIND’S Landscaping and UNILock Pavers Products have joined and
become an Authorized Dealer Outlet location. We provide professional
installation of and guarantee their products.
FULL SERVICE LANDSCAPING
Call for Details
Exclusive Northeast Michigan Authorized Dealer
WALLS
BRICK
PAVERS
Garden Wall
Retaining Walls
Sea Walls
Boulder Walls
TImber Walls
Patio Walls
Driveways
Patios
Sidewalks
Fire Pit Patio Kits
SALE OF UNILOCK • FENDT • BELGUARD PAVER PRODUCTS
Water
Features,
Waterfalls,
Garden Ponds
Lind’s
Landscape Supply
and Nursery Inc.
FREE
ESTIMATES
(989) 362-3116
He hurries home, grabs
everything and rushes
off.
Get 100 MPG on Your New
Triton 49.5cc Moped!
Wilber
LIND’S Landscape is known as a hardscape Specialist with over
25 years of experience in pavers, walls, falls and patios.
A man phones home
from the office and tells
his wife, “Something has
just come up. I have the
chance to go fishing for
a week. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime. We
leave right away, so can
you pack my clothes, my
fishing equipment, and
especially my blue silk pajamas? I’ll be home in an
hour to pick them up.”
NOW IN STOCK
M-55
Rated #1 in
Northeastern Shopper
for Best Nursery in
Northeastern Michigan
Come See our large selection of Perennials, Trees and Shrubs
Pack My Silk
Pajamas
VENTO
SCOOTERS
Dean
Arbour
Ford
19
Spring Hours: Monday-Friday 9-5;
Saturday 9-2; Closed Sunday
US
-2
3
Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1958
- Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2008 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them
with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
368 N. Wilber Rd.
362-3116
Serving All
of Iosco &
Alcona Co.
n
Landscape Supply
and Nursery Inc.
Lind’s
5th Ave
Scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with
shotgun in gun rack.
1958
- Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his
shotgun to show Jack.
2008
- School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his
truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
What the heck are
you supposed to
put in a space this
small?
School in 1958 vs. 2008
A week later he returns.
His wife asks, “Did you
have a good trip?”
“Oh yes, great! But you
forgot to pack my blue
silk pajamas.”
“Oh no I didn’t. I put
them in your tackle box.”
A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get
rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and
leaving him at the park.
As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the
driveway.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away.
He put the beast out and headed home.
Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat
would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few
miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right
again and another right until he reached what he thought was
a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife: “Jen, is the
cat there?”
”Yes”, the wife answers, “why do you ask?”
Frustrated, the man answered, “Put that darned CAT on
the phone, I’m lost and need directions!”
Myles Insurance Agency, Inc.
624 West Lake (US-23), Tawas City, MI 48764
989-362-3425
Beauty C enter
of East Tawas
Pam Dillingham - Certified Beauty Advisor/Owner
207 Newman St. • East Tawas, MI 48730
(989) 984-0010 • (989) 728-5947
www.avon.com/pdillingham
20% OFF COUPON
Bring or mention this ad for 20% off any one
regular-price, in-store item. Expires 10/31/08
scarecrow
to visit his friend?
20
n
A-1 Woods & Waters
Bear Season (Sep 19-25) - Archery (Oct 1-14)
All Hunting and Fishing Licenses
Live Bait * Carhartt Clothing
Rifles * Handguns * Ammo
School Supplies - Free Word Search Puzzle
For the Kids
Now
Featuring
Ladies
Carhartt
http://www.puzzles.ca/wordsearch/kid
Free Printable Word Search Puzzles
School Supplies
Word
Search
Find and circle all of the school supplies that are hidden in the grid.
The words may be hidden in any direction.
“School Supplies”
742-3878
OPEN 7 DAYS
141 North State St. • Hillman
Visit Us at www.a1woodsandwaters.com
BACKPACK
101 Sable Street, Alpena
989-766-0048
Hours: Mon-Fri, Noon to 5pm
BACKPACK
BINDER
BINDER
CALCULATOR
CALCULATOR
COMPASS
COMPASS
CRAYONS
CRAYONS
DIVIDERS DIVIDERS
(Shawn)
209 S. State, Oscoda, MI 48750
(989) 739-5000
* FREE Hoist Check
* FREE Road Test
* All Trucks/4x4s
* American–Foreign
* Automatic–Manual
* Motor Homes
* Axles, Clutches & Flywheels
Unscramble the
Words
1. DAZBZLIR_________________
Here’s a recipe that’s very easy and safe
for even very young kids to prepare.
2. duocls__________________
1 of 1
3. ZDILRZE__________________
4. ezrfee__________________
5. tglnigihn________________
“I’ll bet you’re back there to get a change of scenery
after all those months of sitting in the front
passenger seat teaching me how to drive,” said the
beaming boy to his old man.
9. rinigan__________________
Sherni’s Candies
Home of the Chocolate
Covered Potato Chip!
Sherni’s Candies Also Available at
Pockrandt’s, Oscoda
Brian’s Fruit Market, West Branch
Nester Creek, Prescott
Crossroads, Whittemore
Party Trays
Available
No Order Too Big
or Too Small
MADE HERE FRESH DAILY:
Real Chocolate
Milk-Dark-White
Butter Crunch • Fudge
Peanut Brittle • Roasted Nuts
Chocolate Covered Cashews
Old Fashioned Sea Foam
Maple Walnut Cremes
Chocolate-Covered Peanut
Butter Pretzels
Truffles and More...
Shipping Available
Beginning October 1st
OPEN 9 A.M. to 5 P.M.
7 DAYS A WEEK
35 North M65, at M55
Whittemore, Michigan 48770
989-756-3691
Keith, Sherry, and Brad Hasty
M & S Antique Center
210 S. Second Street, Lincoln
Come and Experience
a Glimpse of the Past
Something for Everyone! We Will Take Consignments
Monday - Saturday 9-5, Sunday by Appointment
We May Have That Special Gift for the One Who Has Everything
7. ruinhcrae_______________
8. arodotn_________________
10. estle___________________
1. blizzard, 2. clouds, 3. drizzle,
4. freeze, 5. lightning, 6. sunny,
7. hurricane, 8. tornado,
9. raining, 10. sleet
Hasty Manufacturing, Inc.
Caramel Apples &
Chocolate-Covered Berries
Quick & Easy Snack Mix
“Weather”
6. ynsnu___________________
Now in Our 29th Year in Business!
Kids Recipe
Copyright © 2004 Livewire Puzzles (www.puzzles.ca)
Kids activities should always be supervised by an
adult.
Junior had just received his brand new drivers license.
To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the
driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural
drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat,
directly behind the newly minted driver.
“Nope,” came dad’s reply, “I’m gonna sit back here and
kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you
have been doing to me for sixteen years.”
PENS
PENS
PROTRACTOR
PROTRACTOR
RULER
RULER
SCISSORS
SCISSORS
STAPLER
STAPLER
WATERCOLORS
WATERCOLORS
Did you enjoy this puzzle? Visit: http://www.puzzles.ca/wordsearch.html
www.ActivityVillage.co.uk
(Tim)
ERASER
ERASER
GLUE
GLUE
HIGHLIGHTERS
HIGHLIGHTERS
NOTEBOOKS
NOTEBOOKS
PAPER
PAPER
PENCILS
PENCILS
For the first time in
many years, an old
man traveled from his
rural town to the city
to attend a movie.
After buying his ticket,
he stopped at the
concession stand
to purchase some
popcorn.
Handing the attendant
$1.50, he couldn’t help
but comment, “The
last time I came to the
movies, popcorn was
only 15 cents.”
“Well, sir,” the
attendant replied with
a grin, “You’re really
going to enjoy yourself.
We have sound now..”
What you need:
1 cup whole grain cereal (squares or
Os work best)
¼ cup dried fruit of your choice
¼ cup nuts, such as walnut pieces,
slivered almonds, or pistachios
¼ cup small, whole-grain snack
crackers or pretzels
Equipment and supplies:
Large bowl
Measuring cups
Large spoon
What to do:
1. Measure out ingredients.
2. Combine in large bowl.
3. Chow down!
Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip
to their local police station where they saw pictures,
tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted
criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture
and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted
person. “Yes,” said the policeman. “The detectives
want very badly to capture him.” Little Johnny
asked, “Why didn’t you keep him when you took his
picture?”
WILSON’S
CHEESE
SHOPPE
“michigan’s oldest”
mild, aged, & fancy cheeses
Game Meat Sticks * Game Jerky
Liquor * Fine Wines
Homemade Baked Goods
Hand-Dipped Ice Cream Cones
T-Shirts & Souvenirs
Mail Orders
OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK
M‑13, PINCONNING
1-800-CHEESE5
Order Online www.wilsoncheese.com
Since
1939
ONE STOP
SHOP
U
N
L
D
G
’
A
S
HALL OUTDOORS
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21
ONE STOP
SHOP
BLOWOUT SAVINGS THROUGHOUT THE STORE
MANY ITEMS BELOW DEALER COST
Grasshopper BLOWOUT Zero Turn SALE
BLOWOUT SPECIAL
Model 727K with 3461 Deck,
99
$5,699
ON IN-STOCK UNITS
Power Fold Option,
Reg.
$6,49999
Wide-Stance Tail Wheels,
412 Snow Thrower
SALE
$9,99999
Reg.
$13,89999
Riding Mowers
Model iZ5223
Trimmers
Chainsaws
Walk-Behinds
guns ~ buy ~ sell ~ trade
Paying Cash for new and used guns
Authorized Dealer for:
Apprais
a
Estate B ls
uying
e
Complet
hing
t
i
m
s
n
u
G
Special Pricing on
Ruger Model 1022
4999 M-72
Great Selection in Stock
Lots of Accessories • On-Site Setup
Special Orders Available
(989) 724-5599
OPEN 7 DAYS
n
screen printing
embroidery
new merchandise
arriving all the time!
New Sun Dresses
designer sunglasses
NEW LOCATION:
133 N. State St, Alpena - Harborside Mall • 989-354-4400
www.inksettersgraphicdesign.com
body & mind gifts body jewelry
incense oils handbags
22
DRUG
Three women and three men are
traveling by train to the football
game.
At the station, the three men
each buy a ticket and watch as
the three Women buy just one
ticket.
‘How are the three of you going
to travel on only one ticket?’ asks
one of the men.
‘Watch and learn,’ answers one
of the women.
212 S. State St. Oscoda, MI 48750
Family Owned Since 1939
They all board the train. The
three men take their respective
seats but All three women cram
into a toilet together and close
the door.
Quick, Professional Prescription Service
Dollar Store, Cold Beer & Wine,
Package Liquor, Lotto
website: www.gilbertsdrug.com
email: info@gilbertsdrug.com
Watch and Learn
ph: (989) 739-7585
fax: (989) 739-5739
“May the forces of evil become confused on the
way to your house.”
Shortly after the train has
departed, the conductor comes
around collecting tickets. He
knocks on the toilet door and
says, ‘Ticket, please.’
The door opens just a crack,
and a single arm emerges with a
ticket in hand.
– George Carlin
Always Remember This:
You don’t stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing!
The conductor takes it and moves
on.
The men see this happen and
agree it was quite a clever idea;
so, after the Game, they decide
to do the same thing on the
return trip and save some Money.
When they get to the station
they buy a single ticket for the
return trip but See, to their
astonishment, that the three
women don’t buy any ticket at
all!
‘How are you going to travel
without a ticket?’ asks one
perplexed man.
‘Watch and learn,’ answer the
women.
When they board the train, the
three men cram themselves into
a toilet, and The three women
cram into a toilet just down the
way.
Shortly after the train is on its
way, one of the women leaves
her toilet and Walks over to the
toilet in which the men are
hiding.
Need we say more?
“I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me.
She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow
evening. We discussed the New Testament. We
agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only
child.” – Woody Allen
Abby was at a loss to answer the following. It’s scary to
think these people can vote.
“Dear Abby, I’ve suspected that my husband has been fooling
around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied
everything and said it would never happen again.”
“Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a
boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his
own?”
“Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen it. Now
how do I get out?”
“Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a
psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half
years. He must be crazy.”
“Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn’t
know he drank until one night he came home sober.”
“Give a man a fish and
he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat
and drink beer all day.”
She knocks on their Door and
says, ‘Ticket please.’
Blue Morpho butterflies - nature’s beauty.
3137 US. 23 South, Alpena MI 49707
Open 9-6 Mon-Fri • 9-4 Sat
2008
(989) 356-4141 or
1-800-968-1976
You’ll Love This Place!
$9,000.00
Valued Customer
UP TO NINE-THOUSAND DOLLAR REBATE
__________________________________________________________________
ON ANY 2008 JAYCO FIFTH WHEEL
__________________________________________________________________
Pay to the
order of _____________________________________
I’m still trying to figure out why
men think they are smarter than
women!
– George Carlin
All Roads Lead to...
2-Year Top
to Bottom
Warranty
1554 US-23 • East Tawas, MI
2008
(989) 362-2910
800-362-4075
$5,900.00
Valued Customer
UP TO $5,900.00 REBATE
__________________________________________________________________
ON ANY 2008 JAYCO TRAVEL TRAILER
__________________________________________________________________
Pay to the
order of _____________________________________
On-Site Financing
All Jayco Travel Trailers and Fifth Wheels are
Clearly Marked with Bigger-Than-Ever Savings!
Check Out the
New Jayco Floor
Plans with Flat Over 50 Years of Combined RV Experience to Serve You Better
Screen TV’s &
with Factory Authorized and Trained Service Department
Electric Awnings
Rebates on fifth wheels and travel trailers available at either location
Many
Models to
Choose
From
n
23
LIFE HAS
ITS MOMENTS...
Gift from my sweetheart
Dave & Deb Pockrandt - Owners
Used Cars - Complete Collision Service
Complete Car Repair - Licensed Mechanics
(989) 876-8161
Fax (989) 876-6343
Surprise from my
parents
P.O. Box 226 - 129 Huron Rd.
AuGres, MI 48703
A Handy Tip
A rose for my birthday
For a cool brownie treat, make
brownies as directed. Melt Andes
mints in double broiler and pour
over warm brownies. Let set for a
wonderful minty frosting.
...MAKE THEM
UNFORGETTABLE
Short-term memory is the first to go...
Branham’s Jewelry
5226 North US‑23
Oscoda, MI
739-1341
219 Newman St.
East Tawas, MI
362-3674
Since
1959
302 West Houghton Ave.
West Branch, MI
345-5710
U.S. Pat. No. 7,007,507 • Copyright • All rights reserved
www.pandora-jewelry.com
On the first day of college, the dean addressed
the students, pointing out some of the rules:
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds
for all male students, and the male dormitory to
the female students. Anybody caught breaking
this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody
caught breaking this rule the second time will be
fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you
$180. Are there any questions?”
“How much for a season pass?”
Fred got home from his Sunday round
of golf later than normal and very
tired. “Bad day at the course?” his
wife asked.
“Everything was going fine,” he said.
“Then Harry had a heart attack and
died on the 10th tee.”
“Oh, that’s awful!”
“You’re not kidding. For the whole back
nine it was
hit the ball,
drag Harry, hit
the ball, drag
Harry.”
Amazing Sidewalk Art II
The Sequel!
“Pardon me, madame, but would you by
any chance have some dental floss..?”
LANDMARK TITLE CORP.
A Full Service Title Company
109 South State Street, Oscoda, MI 48750
Web Site: www.LandmarkTitleCorp.com
Title Insurance w Escrow Service
Real Estate Closings
He’s still at it, and he just
keeps getting better!
Landmark Title Corp. offers title insurance,
escrow and closing services for all of your
real estate needs. With an attorney on staff
Landmark Title Corp. is able to provide
preparation of all necessary legal documents.
Whether through a real estate professional
or on your own, Landmark Title Corp. looks
forward to assisting you with your real estate
transactions in Iosco, Alcona and Ogemaw
counties.
Phone
(989) 739-1471
Fax
(989) 739-0606
24
n
Main Office:
224 W. Washington Ave., Alpena, MI 49707
(989) 356-2756 • Cell (989) 657-2870
Fax: 810-519-1797
www.SunriseSide.com
Beautiful one acre parcel located
approximately 5 miles from Alpena.
Lots of room to build. $20,000
MLS#280330
Nice one acre parcel located about 5
miles from Alpena. Nice country setting
with lots of room to build. $20,000
MLS#280329
60’ on beautiful Beaver Lake. Sandy
bottom, wooded lot ready to build
on. Seller will perc lot. Located on
west shore of Beaver Lake. $74,900
MLS#280573
Rare 80 acre Hunters Retreat. This
secluded and private acreage has great
deer, bear, turkey and small game for
hunting. Land is covered mostly by
hardwood trees on high ground except
15-20 acres of cedar swamp. There is
a larger cedar swamp to the east of the
property that is privately owned. Gated
association easement to property.
5500 watt L.P. Generator for electric.
Camp House has a main room which
is a combination of the Kitchen, Dining
Room and Living Room with heat from
2 gas stoves and a furnace. There
is a Bed Room/ Bunkhouse room for
sleeping arrangements. Adding to the
rustic living of this camp is is a 2 seat
outhouse. $210,500 MLS#280738
Want 101.6 feet on Long Lake?
This beautiful Lot with small pebbled
beach has has a great view of Long
Lake as well as a nice Shoreline with
no weeds. It’s up to you. The lot is split
zoned making the US 23 side of lot
zoned commercial and lake side zoned
residential/recreational. (Note: well &
septic not done). If more lake frontage
is desired, see MLS 280995. $159,900
MLS#280994
Beautiful Lake Huron Parcel with 75 of
frontage. This lot is located on a private
road in a quiet and secluded area. If you
enjoy watching the freighters and sailboats
on the horizon this lot is for you. $120,000
MLS#280258
Live the good life! 36 acres with lots of
waterfrontage! This parcel has everything
that a outdoors person could ask for hunting, fishing and relaxing! $110,000
MLS#280332
This Beautiful 5 acres with a upgraded
HUD Manufactured house has new well,
septic, foundation, carpet and many more
upgrades. The home has washer and dryer
hook-ups in entry. This very clean home will
be a great for a retirement or a starter home
for a young couple. This house is ready to
be moved into. $105,900 MLS#281018
This 40 acres of wonderful hunting land in
Presque Isle County is just outside Rogers
City. It includes a spacious Camp that will
sleep 6-8 with new concrete foundation
completed in 2007, septic, toilet, gas lights
and outside generator for electric. Inside
wired for full electric which needs to be
hooked up. Land has hard wood trees that
make it great for hunting deer, turkey and
other small game. $99,900 MLS#281004
This is 80 acres of secluded hunting land
with the best hunting you will enjoy. There
is lots of cedar, spruce and mature pine
trees. There are lots of bear tracks along
with deer tracks, buck scrapes and rubs.
This 80 acres borders over 3800 acres of
state land. $85,000 MLS#280971
Large lot at only $325 a foot for lake
front. One of the best deal on the lake
202 feet Lake Huron, enjoy your coffee
while watching the sunrise. With enough
land to build your home and enough left
over to have a garage or pole barn for
you toys. Sight plan approved by Health
Department and Survey available. $65,000
MLS#280117
Beautiful home in the heart of woods in Atlanta.
Open ranch floor plan. All the comforts of Northern
Michigan. Remodeled in 1998 and finished in
2000. Washer and dryer in closet. Dishwasher in
kitchen. Vaulted Ceiling in Living Room. Jacuzzi
Room. Large enclosed porch with sliding glass
door looking to the back of property. Tongue and
groove pine throughout. $95,000 MLS#281000
Nice buildable lot with township taxes with
many city amenities. No water tap fee, but
must install a health department approved
septic system. $10,900 MLS#280519
Nice Waterfront Lot is located near the point
for an excellent view of Lake Huron. Located
in Alpena Township on a Private road. Land
Contract terms for qualified buyers. $130,000
MLS#280257
This is a newly renovated country home with
split stone and vinyl siding. There is new drywall,
plumbing, electrical, heating and new well. The
kitchen and bathrooms have been completely
redone. There is a large 24 x 40 detached garage.
This home sits on 5 wooded acres. The partial
basement has had new drain tile and drains put in to
make it a dry basement. $149,900 MLS#280700
This lovely 2 story gambrel style home built in
1995 has a main floor master bedroom w/ spacious
full bath that has a whirlpool tub. Kitchen/dining room
combo has oak cabinets. Main floor has a mud room
with a food pantry. Large living room has a gas log
fireplace with marble accents. Two bedrooms with a
3/4 bath upstairs. Located 12 miles from the city on
a paved road with 38.65 acres for hunting and 150 x
300 pond. 3 car detached garage and additional 8 x
12 shed. 40 x 64 pole barn that has electricity with a
cement floor and 12 doors. $163,000 MLS#280883
A Great view of Lake Huron while sitting on the
deck, in the living room or in the dining room you
can enjoy the 200 ft of Lake Huron Shoreline with a
wonderful view. This large 4 bedroom 3 bath ranch
home at a convenient South of Alpena location with
city water. Seller will pay $5000.00 towards FHA
Loan closing costs at the time of the closing. Great
financing available. $169,900 MLS#280696
Rare 80 acre Hunters Retreat. This secluded
and private acreage has great deer, bear, turkey
and small game for hunting. Land is covered
mostly by hardwood trees on high ground except
15-20 acres of cedar swamp. Larger cedar
swamp to the east that is privately owned. Gated
association easement to property. 5500 watt
L.P. Generator for electric and heated with gas
stoves and a furnace. $210,500 MLS#280736
This beautiful 2 story, 3 bedroom, 2 full
bath home with a paved driveway is on
lovely and quiet Beaver Lake with 50 feet of
sandy beach frontage with a beautiful view of
the sunrise. Fireplace in the living room, bay
windows overlooking the lake, large cedar
lined walk-in closet in master bedroom, new
carpet throughout, deck off living room and
large treed yard to enjoy. Large 2 car attached
garage. Call for more details. $249,900
MLS#281001
Beautiful one acre parcel located about 5
miles from Alpena. $20,000 MLS#280331
Beautiful Lake Huron Parcel! Quiet and
Secluded area, Private Road. Sheer Rock
shoreline with 162.34’ on Lake Huron.
$120,000 MLS#280250
This newer ranch style home is only 5-6
years old with lots of room. The large kitchen
has an island, dishwasher, stove, and a fridge
to name a few. Central air conditioning and
2 x 6 side walls with drywall. Garage w/
pantry and lots of cupboards. A long asphalt
driveway that keeps you looking directly at the
ranch style home with 5 acres is only minutes
from Hillman. There is a large 24 x 14 deck
with sidewalks that wrap around the 28 x 32
attached garage. $159,900 MLS#281005
Gorgeous 100 ft lot with Long Lake frontage.
This 2 story log cabin can be used as a
summer or year round home has many new
upgrades. Log siding, fireplace on main floor,
large wraparound deck to view great sunsets.
$179,900 MLS#280698
Want 101.6 feet on Long Lake? This beautiful
Lot with small pebbled beach has a great view
of Long Lake and a nice Shoreline with no
weeds. The lot is split zoned - US 23 side of lot
zoned commercial and lake side zoned res./
rec. 30’ x 64’ pole barn. (Note: well & septic
not done). If additional lake frontage is desired,
see MLS 280994. $249,900 MLS#280995
Northeast
Land
Surveys
N E L S
survey says...whenever you draw a line, someone will try to cross it.
BILL WOODS - PROFESSIONAL LAND SURVEYOR SINCE 1973
Serving All Your Commercial & Residential Needs
Don’t build until you KNOW where your boundary lines are! Ask us
about some stories of those who didn’t.
Global Positioning Satellite (GPS) Land Surveying Services
All Aspects of Land Surveying • Licensed and Insured
We Have Been Serving the Following Counties for Over 30 YEARS:
Alcona, Arenac, Iosco, Ogemaw, and Oscoda.
Now with extended service to standish and
pinconning areas
Member of the Michigan Society of Professional Surveyors
5461 Cedar Lake Road, Oscoda, MI 48750
989-739-0771
Fax 989-739-0772 • nelandsurvey@sbcglobal.net
The Moral of the Story
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned
by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The
monarch could have killed him but was moved by
Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered
him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very
difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure
out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no
answer, he would be put to death.
The question?...What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most
knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed
an impossible query. But, since it was better than
death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition and
gave his word to return with an answer by year’s
end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll
everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men
and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone,
but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch,
for only she would have the answer. But the price
would be high; as the witch was famous throughout
the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no
choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer
the question, but he would have to agree to her
price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most
noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur’s
closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked
and hideous, had only one tooth, one eye, smelled
like sewage, made obscene noises, and an
annoying voice. He had never encountered such a
repugnant creature in all his life.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and
endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning
of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared
to Arthur’s life and the preservation of the Round
Table.
4262 River Road
Oscoda, MI 48750
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch
answered Arthur’s question thus: What a woman
really wants, she answered...is to be in charge of
her own life.
(989) 739-4382
Fax: (989) 739-3849
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the
witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life
would surely be spared.
Mon-Fri 8am-5pm
Sat 8am-Noon
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot,
steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the
bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him! The most
beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on
the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had
happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind
to her when she appeared as a witch, she would
henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half
the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....
or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day,
a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at
night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or,
would he prefer having a hideous witch during the
day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy
wondrous intimate moments?
Wonderful lakefront home on Lake Huron. Fantastic
view of lake over looking sandy beach. Enjoy sitting on the large deck
watching freighters and beautiful morning sunrises. Home updated
with large great room, master BR, master BA with jetted tub, kitchen
& 2.5 car garage. The interior still possesses its original cabin charm
with knotty pine, exposed beams, natural stone fireplace and loft for
added sleeping capacity. Other updates include new well, rented water
softener, reverse osmosis system, newer windows & fenced in dog run.
Must see property at a great price. $299,900 RMLS # 088-08-0053
NORTHERN
TRUCK
AND AUTO
REPAIR
If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don’t despair. There are people
in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.
Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been
out of work for years.
Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person
who has never known what it’s like to love and be loved in return.
Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the
woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a
week to feed her children.
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from
assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity
to take that walk.
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to
make the choice herself.
Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer
patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would
be beautiful all the time because he had respected
her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all
about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those
who didn’t live long enough to get the opportunity.
Now....what is the moral to this story?
Simple...
If you don’t let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly.
Should you find yourself the victim of other people’s bitterness,
ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be
worse. You could be one of them!
PRIME FRONTAGE ON BEAUTIFUL VAN ETTAN LAKE! Picture
yourself in this lovely setting offering a deep, nicely landscaped
lot with plenty of storage room for all of your equipment and lake
toys. Home has been completely updated and features include
3 bedrooms, 1.75 baths offering build-ins, light knotty pine finish
in living area with natural gas fireplace and excellent lake views.
Kitchen features include new custom cabinets, counter tops,
faucets & fixtures, lighting, flooring.....plus all new appliances. This
is a very unique property with a great location. $389,900 RMLS
#088-08-0054
MOVE RIGHT IN! Very neat and clean furnished year-round
home within walking distance to Lake Huron Sandy beaches!
Spacious 3 bedroom ranch with many updates including
kitchen, windows, roof and much more! Excellent location
close to town for shopping, schools and medical facilites! See
photo tour for additional information! GREAT BUY!! $92,900
RMLS # 088-08-0043
NEW
WALK THE SANDY BEACH OF BEAUTIFUL LAKE HURON!
Enjoy your leasure time in this 2 bedroom knotty pine cottage
featuring wood burning fireplace, “up north” atmosphere and
awesome lake views. Cottage is vinyl sided and includes a good
size storage shed. Walk for miles on sandy beach. GREAT PRICE!
Call for additional information. $173,900 RMLS #088-08-0056
25
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted
Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a
wonderful wedding.
NEW
Spectacular view of beautiful Van Ettan Lake from this
3 bedroom home with a 2 bedroom guest cottage. Both updated in
1992, this home offers a spacious living room, family room, 436 sq ft
lakeside deck and a 2 1/2 car garage. The guest cottage offers a large
living room and 2 bedrooms with a 3/4 bath. Most of the furnishings stay
so that you can move right in. $249,000 RMLS #088-08-0055
n
EXCEPTIONAL HOME IN BEAUTIFUL LAKEWOOD SHORES! Home
features include lovely foyer entrance, open living area, hardwood and
ceramic tile flooring, bay window in dining area, “dream kitchen” offering
Thomasville cabinetry and walk-in pantry, snack bar, lovely sunroom
with eyebrow window and doorwall opening onto deck area, natural
gas log fireplace, full walk-out basement with 4 finished rooms plus a
large mechanics & storage room. Additional features include a high
efficency furnace, A/C, 3 car attached finished garage, sprinkler system,
professional landscaping, fireplit and private location. Call for more
details! $239,900 RMLS #088-08-0042
ED
C
U
D
E
R
20 ACRES OF PRIME HUNTING PROPERTY. Parcel offers
a dedicated easement road and good building sites. Property
splits are available. Land contract terms with only 10% down.
Call for complete details. $50,000 RMLS #088-08-0047
COMMERCIAL BUILDING - Spacious and custom built 64X40
pole barn located on large lot in Oscoda’s industrial area.
Propertry and building are located in a “Renaissance Zone”,
offering a tax exemption that will be applied until 2013. Pole
barn offers gravel driveway, 14’ ceilings & two 13’ insulated
delivery doors. Seller is motivated to sell and says “BRING ME
AN OFFER!” $65,000 RMLS #088-08-0050
Large custom built home in Lakewood Shores.
4 lots are included. Floors are oak or ceramic tile. All oak trim
including interior doors. 2 attached,drywalled garages, 34x30
and 30x20 with 13’ ceilings. Large, covered wood decks on front
and rear totaling 98 feet. Breakfast nook in kitchen plus formal
dining room. Beautiful home built in 2001 and priced to sell under
assessed value. $189,900 RMLS #088-08-0039
3 bedroom home with many updates including new
shingles and sheathing on roof. Mostly new windows. All new
flooring, cabinets and vinyl siding. Home is located in Wakefield
Sub and only 100 feet from thousands of acres of State Land.
$79,900 RMLS #088-08-0005
E
REDUC
D
“UP NORTH” spacious home offering DEEDED LAKE
HURON ACCESS. Enjoy year round living or use as a
summer retreat. Updates include windows, doors, roof,
siding, fireplace, tile/carpet flooring plus knotty pine interior.
Also, the lovely enclosed sunroom. Excellent location off
US23 in a private area. Property offers two deep, wooded
lots with an abundance of wildlife. Walk to Lake Huron and
enjoy the private, deeded sandy beach lot.....swimming,
boating and gorgeous views. Call for complete details on
this property. You will surely be impressed. $82,900 RMLS
#088-08-0022
UP NORTH AT ITS FINEST! Excellent 3 bedroom with all the
extras including skylights, fireplace, sunroom, master suite, updated
kitchen, ceramic tile, hardwood flooring, large wooded lot and many
other great features! Large lakeside deck with over 650 Sq Ft to
entertain your guests. 24x24 garage perfect for all your storage
needs! Additional lot in Lakewood Shores Subdivision is included in
the sale! Perfect for enjoying all the amenities Lakewood Shores has
to offer including private beaches on Lake Huron & Cedar Lake! This
is a MUST SEE home! $270,000 RMLS #088-08-0025
26
n
USS New York
Replace or Repair
Starters, Batteries & Alternators
Antique Cars Included!
212 W. Main St.
Turner, MI 48765
Bus: 989-867-4228
Home: 989-867-4250
Open 9-5 Mon-Fri, Closed Sat/Sun
Industrial • Farm • Generators • Tires
For All Your Cross Stitch Needs!
E-mail: infostitchesnblooms@verizon.net
• DMC Floss • Fabrics • Books • Buttons • Beads
*Complete Custom Matting & Framing Service
~Mail/Phone Orders Always Welcome~
Hours: Monday - Friday 10am-5pm
Suite 132 • 2205 US‑23 South • Alpena, MI 49707
(989) 354-3739
2. “Well he’s always been lacking
in moral fiber. He knows alot
about Sean Connery. That’s
hardly a substitute.”
3. “They’ll talk to you and talk
to you and talk to you about
individual freedom. But they see
a free individual, it’s gonna scare
‘em.”
WILD BILL’S BAIT AND TACKLE
Northeast Michigan’s Largest
Premier Bait & Tackle Shop
Camping Supplies
*All Hunting & Fishing Licenses*
ORV & Trail Permits
Waxworms • Crickets • Mealworms
All Our Live Bait is
Live Minnows
Guaranteed to Catch
Fish or Die Trying
10 Dozen Crawlers $17.50
Located Just Minutes from the Best Fishing at
Fletcher’s Floodwaters
Call for a Current Fishing Report
Overstock Clearance on the
Things You Use Every Day!
take a
kid fishing
Tues-Sat 7am-6pm
Sun/Mon 7am-5pm
Visit us at www.wbbnt.com
3 Miles East of Hillman on M‑32
E-mail: wildbillsbnt@yahoo.com
(989) 742-4874
You Only Want the Best Materials Available
for Your Landscaping Project!
4. “There has to be a
mathematical explanation for
how bad that tie is.”
5. “This is Mr. Highway. He’s
about to have an accident.”
6. “Tell him now. And leave this
lopsided house. Do not come
back until he give you those
things, with both hands open.
1. You Only Live Twice, 2. Trainspotting,
3. Easy Rider, 4. A Beautiful Mind,
5. The Good Son, 6. The Joy Luck Club
A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the
absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.
“Maybe all I need is some fresh air,” thought the man as he
crawled outside.
He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.
“Screw it,” he thought. “I’ll just crawl home.”
The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep
asleep.
“You went out drinking last night, didn’t you?” she said.
“Uh, yes,” he said sheepishly. “How did you know?”
“You left your wheelchair at the bar again.”
$100 DEALS
1. “The firing power inside my
crater is enough to annihilate a
small army. You can watch it all
on TV. It’s the last program you’re
likely to see.”
My ex-wife started taking flying lessons
about the time our divorce started and
she got her license shortly before our
divorce was final, later that same year.
Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly
escaped injury in the aircraft she was
piloting when she was forced to make
an emergency landing in Western Iowa
because of bad weather. Thank God
our kids were with me at the cabin this
weekend.
The NTSB issued a preliminary report,
citing pilot error: She was flying a single
engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight
rating) conditions while only having
obtained a VFR (visual flight rating)
rating.
The absence of a post-crash fire was
likely due to insufficient fuel on board.
No one on the ground was injured.
The photograph below was taken at the
scene and shows the extent of damage
to her aircraft.
She was very lucky.
• Retaining Walls
• Patio Stones
• Tree Rings
• Paving Stones
• Lawn & Garden
Edging
It was built with 24 tons of scrap steel from the World
Trade Center It is the fifth in a new class of warship
- designed for missions that include special operations
against terrorists. It will carry a crew of 360 sailors and
700 combat-ready Marines to be delivered ashore by
helicopters and assault craft.
Steel from the World Trade Center was melted
down in a foundry in Amite, LA to cast the ship’s bow
section. When it was poured into the molds on Sept 9,
2003, ‘those big rough steelworkers treated it with total
reverence,’ recalled Navy Capt. Kevin Wensing, who
was there. ‘It was a spiritual moment for everybody
there.’
Junior Chavers, foundry operations manager, said that
when the trade center steel first arrived, he touched it
with his hand and the ‘hair on my neck stood up.’ ‘It had
a big meaning to it for all of us,’ he said. ‘They knocked
us down. They can’t keep us down. We’re going to be
back.’
The ship’s motto? ‘Never Forget’
• Landscaping Stone
• Bird Baths
• Cultured Stone
Our 24”x24” $5.75 • 18”x18” $4.00
Natural Stone Starting at $250.00 per Ton
16”x16” Brick Patio $3.50
5251 N. US‑23 • Oscoda, MI 48750
(989) 739-9341
“Boy, those French, they have a
different word for everything!”
– Steve Martin
A good samaritan was walking home late one night
when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk.
Wanting to help, he asked the drunk, “Do you live
here?” “Yep.” “Would you like me to help you
upstairs?” “Yep.” When they got up on the second
floor, the good person asked “Is this your floor?”
“Yep.”
Then the good samaritan got to thinking that maybe
he didn’t want to face the man’s irate and tired
wife because she may think he was the one who
got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he
came to and shoved him through it then went back
downstairs. However, when he went back outside,
there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk
“Do you live here?” “Yep.” “Would you like me to
help you upstairs?” “Yep.” So he did and put him in
the same door with the first drunk. Then went back
downstairs.
Where, to his surprise, there was another drunk. So
he started over to him. But before he got to him,
the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried,
“Please officer, protect me from this man. He’s been
doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs
and throwing me down the elevator shaft!”
TIRES-BRAKES-STRUTS-ALIGNMENTS
Custom wheels•Motorcycle tires•Lawn & garden tires
OPEN WEEKDAYS 8am-6pm, Sat ‘til Noon, Closed Sun
(989) 739-2039
Mike Allen
Owner
We accept
5115 N. US 23
Oscoda,
Michigan
“Dear Dad,
i’d tell you to
go to hELL, but i
work there and i
don’t want to see
you every day.
n
27
Professional Alterations & Repair
DEJA MOO:
The feeling I’ve
heard this bull
before.
Service for All Makes/Models
It is with great regret and
sorrow that I’m writing you.
Boat Slips
I had to elope with my new
girlfriend because I wanted to
Pickup and Launch
avoid a scene with Mom and
you. I have been finding real
Winter Storage & Shrinkwrap
passion with Stacy and she is
so nice. But I knew you would
3436 US 23
Greenbush, MI 48738
not approve of her because of
all her piercing, tattoos, tight
Judy & Al Bennett & Cory
(989) 739-8783
motorcycle clothes and the fact
that she is much older than I
am.
But it’s not only the
* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
passion...
* Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.
Dad she’s pregnant. Stacy * Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s
said that we will be very
all right now.
happy.
* The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
She owns a trailer in the * The butcher backed up into the meat grinder & got a little behind in
woods and has a stack of
his work.
firewood for the whole winter.
* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
We share a dream of having
* When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
many more children. Stacy
* The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small
has opened my eyes to the fact
medium at large.
that marijuana doesn’t really
* A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.
hurt anyone. We’ll be growing
* A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
it for ourselves and trading
criminal.
it with the other people that
* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
live nearby for Darvocet and
* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
Ecstasy.
* A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15,
* A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
and I know how to take care of
* A will is a dead giveaway.
myself.
* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
* A backward poet writes inverse.
Someday I’m sure that we
*
In
a
democracy
it’s
your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count
will be back to visit so that
that votes.
you can get to know your
*
A
chicken
crossing
the road is poultry in motion.
grandchildren.
“Peeping Tom”
from page 5
HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):
Love,
Your Son, John
PS. Dad, none of the above
is true. I’m over at Tommy’s
house. I just wanted to remind
you that there are worse things
in life than a report card. That’s
in my center desk drawer. I
love you. Call me when it’s
safe to come home.”
if you don’t talk
to your cat
about catnip,
who will?
“The laziest man I ever met
put popcorn in his pancakes
so they would turn over by
themselves.”
– W. C. Fields
“If you buy your
husband or boyfriend
a video camera, for the
first few weeks he has
it, lock the door when
you go to the bathroom.
Most of my husband’s
early films end with a
scream and a flush.”
– Rita Rudner
* If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I’ll show you A-flat
miner.
* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum
Blownapart.
* You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
* A calendar’s days are numbered.
* A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
* A boiled egg is hard to beat.
* He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
* Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
* When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
M
ikado
ARKET
A Handy Tip
Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a
delicious dessert. Simply chop them up with the
food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples.
Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the
chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350
for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice
cream. Yummm!
Relaxed Fine Dining & Spirited Drink
Daily Lunch & Dinner Specials
Monday Night
½ Slab of Baby Back BBQ Ribs
Served w/ Tossed Salad
& Baked Potato $10.95
THURSDAY Night
Pan-Fried Perch
Served w/ French Fries
and Cole Slaw $10.95
Open Monday thru Saturday • Closed Sunday
Lunch 11:30-3:30, Dinner 4:30-8:30
Dine-in or Carry-out
739-1518 • 111 East Dwight in Downtown Oscoda
from page 13
Famous
for Our
Venison
Sausage
Fridays
Smokehouse
Ribs
~~~~~~
Homemade
Cold Salads
Every Day
Now Serving Lunch, Burgers, Strips, Poppers,
Homemade Soups and More Daily at 11am
Pizza, Subs - Sandwiches - Jerky - Sausage
Home Smoked Meats - Fresh Baked Bread
$1.00 Greeting Cards - DVD Rentals
We accept VISA, MasterCard, Bridge Cards, and WIC
2276 F-41, Mikado • 989-736-3066
28
n
Beautiful condominiums designed for the
active, independent, 55 and older adults.
Live in your own home and enjoy a lifestyle
filled with recreational, educational and
social opportunities. No worries about
maintenance of a house and yard; enjoy
travel or head south for the winter without
the fear of leaving your home unattended.
Safe and friendly atmosphere.
PLAN YOUR FUTURE NOW!
Enjoy the beach, picnicking, boating and fishing at Lake Van Etten, Lake Huron or the AuSable River. Entertain, dine and shop in
Downtown Oscoda. Hike Huron National Forest or take a short walk to Oscoda Public Library or Alpena Community College.
Located next to the VA clinic and Aune Medical Center. For the Golf enthusiast, 7 golf courses in the area, one for each day of the week!
As Low As
$535
per month
All Inclusive
* Elegant Movie Theater * Family Room - Library
* Canning & Baking Room * Lounge & Card Room
* Community Garden * Computer Center
* Fitness Center
Prices as low as $49,900 for a Traditional Condo
• Beautiful • Affordable • Luxurious Amenities • With a Great Location
PLAN AHEAD – RESERVE YOUR CONDOMINIUM NOW!
Limited Number Of Condos Remaining
Includes Mortgage Payment PLUS All Utilities, Expanded Cable Television, Hi-Speed Internet/WiFi throughout the
Building, Exterior Maintenance, Snow Removal, Trash Removal & So Much More. Down Payment Required
BC Real Estate
5951 North Skeel Ave.
Oscoda, MI 48750
1-800-386-7133 • 1-800-330-5045 after 5:00pm
Owner Financing Available
Visit Us at www.oscodaadultcondos.com
Up-North is
Where It’s At!
Call Today for a FREE DVD!
4687 East F 41
Oscoda, Michigan
(989) 739-5280
or (877) 726-5280
Located on F-41 and Cedar
Lake Road at the Light.
Stop in and view all our listings!
3439-R**Surf-n-Sand II** LAKE HURON**Unit #22**Two
bedrooms 2.5 baths, 1340 S.F., Open living, dining and
kitchen area, corner fireplace, breakfast bar separates
kitchen & dining area, upper deck off master suite and 16
x 10 brick patio off living room, 1 car garage, 700’ of sandy
beach, furnishings included, inside unit, $230,000. Unit
#11 same as #22 except outside unit w/bay window in dining area & upstairs bathroom, no furnishings $249,000.
#3440-C**3463 Cedar Lake Dr.** Cedar Lake & boat access right
across the street, Kitchen & bath remodeled, all oak cabinetry,
large living room and family room, 2 bedrooms, wooded lot (60 x
216) huge backyard, two tiered deck, storage shed, $56,000.
www.oscodarealty.com
Also Doing Property Management
3436W**Nice 3-BEDROOM HOME with attached garage in a
magnificent neighborhood, sits on nicely treed lot just outside of
town! Come take a look, you won”t be disappointed! $89,000
HURON SANDS CONDOMINIUMS
We Open Doors!
3439P**Well constructed custom home built by
owner, No corners cut here, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. All bedrooms have ceiling fans, ceramic tile in bathrooms, kitchen, entry & laundry room, custom Pecan Cabinets in kitchen & bathrooms, central air, two headed well for watering lawn, sprinkler
system, nicley landscaped, lg concrete patio in back for entertaining, 27 x 29 garage, concrete drive 22 x 60, prewired for
generator, well insulated. $189,900
3444D** CUTE 2-BEDROOM, 1-BATH with NG/FA heat, finished 2-car garage, fenced back yard. Close to the AuSable
River and Huron National Forest. $62,000
3446-E**SID TOWN**Very desirable location near Cooke Dam, 2
bedrooms 1 bath year round cabin, 1 car garage, beautiful wooded
backyard slopes down. Lot 50 x 218, Very well maintained, Stone
fireplace, Road is maintained year round by association. $69,000.
$89,900. Unit #101**lower end unit** 1 bedroom, 1 bath
(furnishings negotiable)
$110,000. Unit #107**upper unit** 1 bedroom, 1 bath, garage
(all furnishings INCLUDED)
$96,000. Unit #108**upper unit** 1 bedroom, 1 bath
$95,000. Unit #201**lower unit** 1 bedroom, 1 bath
$92,500. Unit #302**lower unit** 1 bedroom, 1 bath
(furnishings INCLUDED)
$92,000. Unit #406**upper unit** 1 bedroom, 1½ baths
$139,900. Unit #505**upper unit** 2 bedrooms, 1 bath (all
furnishings INCLUDED)
$99,900. Unit #905**upper unit** 1 bedroom, 1 bath, garage
(all furnishings included)
Oscoda Realty
Rose Mary Myrick, Broker
Cell 989-464-7386
Judy Limbach, Associate Broker
989-820-6873
Connie Tanghetti
989-820-6338
William (Bill) Duncan 989-820-7165
George Cauvin
989-739-5615
Butch Green
989-569-3053
3447B**A beautiful one-of-a-kind custom home. 2
Bedrooms. Vaulted ceiling in great room. New Four-season
room added in 2006. Den could be third bedroom, Deep
lighted crawl (6 feet deep/4 feet under kitchen) In ground
sprinkling system. 3-Zone HWBB heat. $250,000
3429B**A LONG & WINDING ROAD leads to a perfect 3-bedroom,
2-bath home with fireplace in living room, appliances included, lg. deck
on lakeside, 2½ car detached garage and a 30x44 pole barn with 12’
ceiling. Property & home in fabulous condition. Lot is 784’ deep with
77” on Cedar Lake, sandy bottom and seawall. $299,000
3302B** 80 FEET ON CEDAR LAKE! A little imagination
will pay big dividends if you invest in this 5-unit apartment
building and duplex. City water & nat. gas to all units.
Each unit has own elec. meter. One 1-bdrm unit, six 2bdrm units. NOW $199,000
Lakewood Shores Subdivision
#4349 P** 5006 Christopher*** Gourages Custom built
all brick, 3 bedroom 2 bath home, pecan cabinets, large
family/living room, very well maintained lawn, sprinkler
system, central air, new 30 Yr. shingles, beautiful cement
patio in back, large storage shed, owner is a builder so
you know you are getting the best of the best. $189,900
3437W**3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath ranch. Nice house in a
beautiful neighborhood. $89,000
3438W**2-bedroom, 1¾ bath w/ full, finished basement.
Large country kitchen. 2 Fireplaces. Womlamized seawall, lawn
sprinkling system. Whether you are a fishing person or wildlife and
nature watcher, or you just want a front seat view of our yearly
canoe races, this is the house for you! $159,900
3433B**CUTE 2-BEDROOM HOME with low heating costs,
has 100 amp electric. Beautiful view of Lake Huron. $59,900

BUSInESS FOR SaLE

Transcription

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