December 6 - KONK Life

KONK
Life
OIL CITY SYMPHONY
UPFRONT
Vol.2 No.49
C
O
N
T
E
N
T
S
04
HAPPENINGS
05
IN KEY WEST
e Read Barn eater
Opens 33rd season in Key West
il City Symphony,” an engaging reunion nostalgia musical with kneeslapping nuttiness and joyful, playful lyrics, as written by Mike Craver,
Mark Hardwick, Debra Monk, and Mary Murfitt. Red Barn eatre Artistic Director
Joy Hawkins directs this romp through favorite oldies and new lyrics in the paean/
parody mode. Hawkins has directed for Red Barn for 33 years. Charles Lindberg,
aurie Breakwell, Gayla Morgan and Trey Forsyth star as ’70s alumni for a tribute
to their music teacher. Lindberg is also musical director. is clever cornball jamboree opens ursday, December 13, and runs through January 12. Reserve seats and
be prepared to the do the Hokey-Pokey. 8 p.m. show sponsored by Preferred Properties. Opening night features a party with cast. Tickets available at redbarntheatre.com
or Box Office, 319 Duval St., (305) 296-9911. Season tickets, group prices, also
“Dinner and a Show” with the Pier House HarborView Café.
O
L
December 15-16, December 19-22 at TWT
Enchantment once again
ON THE COVER
utcracker Key West is unlike any other
Nutcracker ballet, anywhere. Imagine
the classic ballet, but replace the Rat King and Sugar
Plum Fairy with Rooster King and Sea Star Fairy;
replace the traditional Snow Kingdom and Snowflake
dancers with Snowy Egrets on shimmering Salt
Ponds, and convey Clara and her prince in a romantic
bathysphere inspired by “20,000 Leagues Under the
N
INSIDE!
In anticipation of the upcoming live production
of Nutcracker Key West, this Thursday’s Ibis
Bay Resort Dive-Inn movie is “Underwater,
the Making of Nutcracker Key West.” Film
starts at 8 p.m. Admission free. Host Michael
Shields welcomes filmmaker Karen Leonard
to introduce the award-winning documentary.
Summary: In 2005, Hurricane Wilma results in
storm surges, much of Key West is flooded,
people are left homeless. Children are unable
to get to rehearsals. The town comes to an
abrupt halt. The production gives the community the opportunity to help one another and
experience a renewal of holiday spirit.
www.konklife.com 3
FUN TIMES
14
COLUMNS
04 COMMUNITY
05 KEY HAPPENINGS
06 THIS WEEK!
08 WINING THE KEYS
18 TROPIC SPROCKETS
Sea,” and you will begin to get an inkling of what will
unfold December 15-16 and December 19-22 at the
Tennessee Williams eatre, 5901 College Road.
Set to the enchanting music of Tchaikovsky, Clara
(performed alternately this year by Rachel Wilcox,
Aubry Sweeney and Echo Burchfield) and the prince
(Jack Willis) encounter enchanted landscapes and
“underwater” sequences of almost unimaginable
beauty. Producer and Artistic Director Joyce Stahl has
cast local children, adults and community leaders
alongside a national cast corps de ballet in this wildly
imaginative, world-class production staged every two
years in Key West. Reserve tickets, keystix.com e
up
BUSINESS
front
SPOT
LIGHT
COMMUNITY
Share the Wreath, December 6
December 8
Auction like no other
Housemaking for kids
hen the late
Ronda Riviera was crowned Miss Firecracker in 2001, she began
planning her fundraising events
for the year. She embraced Share
the Wreath, an auction of decorated holiday wreaths created by
local celebrities. e event became an AIDS Help benefit and
was an instant success that first
year to help support the agency’s
work throughout the Florida
Keys. Last year the event raised
over $8,600. Queen Mother
XXIX Scirocco and La Te Da
carry on the tradition.
Crystal Room at La Te Da
once again opens its doors for
the 12th Annual Share the
Wreath event on ursday, December 6. irty-six wreaths
will be auctioned.
“Everyone starts with the
same bare wreath and then. as
you can imagine, especially in
Key West, the decorators go
wild,” says Queen Mother
Scirocco. “e only rule is that
each wreath must have lights.”
is fun and innovative
event is unique to say the least.
“I picked up the wreaths and
had given them all out by the
next afternoon,” says Scirocco.
“People continue to call me asking to do a wreath, and I just
don’t have any more.” Past participants include past and reigning Kings, Queens and Royal
Court members of Fantasy Fest,
local businesses and creative
“just plain folks.”
Reigning Queen Mother
Scirocco hosts the event with
emcees Aurora Gory Alice and
Mark Watson. Doors open at
6:30 p.m. with the show starting at 7:30 p.m. Suggested donation is $5. Seating is open but
limited, so arrive early.
INFO
AIDS Help, (305) 296-6196
Old Island Restoration
Foundation hosts the sixth annual community gingerbread
housemaking party in the garden of e Oldest House at 322
Duval St. Kids are invited to attend 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday,
December 8. Persons attending
encouraged to bring edible
items for house (or car or boat
or entire town) building and
decorations like gumdrops,
candy canes or cookies to share.
Tables of building and decorating supplies available. Take
home gingerbread creations for
holiday celebrations.
Use your imagination in
choosing items to bring for
house building decoration. e
only rule is it must be edible.
Candy canes work and so do
gummy bears and animal crackers. Chiclets, gum drops and
ribbon candy are always useful.
Necco wafers make great roof
tiles, and shredded wheat cereal
can make a thatched roof.
Shredded coconut can be used
for snow, marshmallows for
snowmen, sugar cones for trees,
and candies of all sorts.
Music and light refreshments
provided. is holiday event is
free, a gift to the community
from e Smith Law Firm and
other community businesses
and individuals: Daniel E. Skahen of Preferred Properties,
Evolution Key West, Fausto’s
Food Palace, Conch Color, Key
West Citizen, Mangoes Restaurant, e Restaurant Store,
Cole’z Peace, Sheri L. Lohr of
Sea Story Press, Joel Meisel of
Santa Maria Suites, Audio Video
in Paradise and Four Star
Rentals.
Donations encouraged.
Funds contributed to Key West
Collegiate Academy.
W
| Continued on page 22
CELEBRATING
ONE YEAR
n
INTERVIEW WITH
Leigh Connell
Pilates Studio of Key West
Guy deBoer | GD You opened up
the Pilates Studio of Key West just
over a year ago. How has your
studio been received by the
community?
Leigh Connell | LC It has been
awesome. So many people and now
clients came forward immediately
to learn about the health benefits
of Pilates.
GD Pilates is a form of exercise that
not that many people know about
or understand. Describe Pilates
as a form of exercise.
LC It is all about core training.
It creates better flexibility, better
strength, it is incredible for your
back, and it is a great way to work
out without beating your joints up.
GD You have been a personal
trainer for many years. What was
it that attracted you to Pilates
as a new alternative?
LC As I got older I needed to find
another form of exercise that would
help me maintain my personal
physical conditioning without
harming or even hurting me.
Pilates helps with my flexibility
and strength. ese are important
issues for someone beginning
to get along in life.
GD e term core or core strength
is new terminology for many.
What does it mean?
| Continued on page 20
4 ww.konklife.com
Vol. 2 No. 49
december 6-12
Published Weekly
KONK Life
NEWS DIRECTOR
Guy deBoer
EDITOR|DESIGN
Dawn deBoer
PHOTOGRAPHERS
Larry E. Blackburn
Ralph De Palma
Sheel Sheelman
EDITORIAL CONSULTANT
Connie Gilbert
CONTRIBUTORS
Guy deBoer Key News
Louis Petrone Key West Lou
Steve Calderwood Wining the Keys
Paul Menta Whats Cooking
David Lybrand KONK Reactor
Scott McCarthy The Gadabout
Kimberley Denney Bitchin Paradise
Christina Oxenberg Local Observation
JT Thompson Hot Dish
Michele Meck Party Mecca
Jenessa Burger Well & Fit
ON-AIR PERSONALITIES
BEV ALLEN, PETER ANDERSON, GUY deBOER, BO FODOR,
STEPHANIE KAPLE, SHAUNA LEE LANGE, VICTORIA LEIGH,
LOUIS PETRONE, M. L. PRICE, MICHAEL SHIELDS, JIM SMITH,
SOPHIA SKOGLUND, ALICE TALLMADGE, RICHARD
TALLMADEGE, MATT GARDI, RICK BOETTGER,
JIM FERRIS, STEP WISCHERTH, MICHELE MECK
ADVERTISING 305.296.1630
Marc Hollander|305.619.4414
marckeyboard@earthlink.net
Advertising Deadline Every Friday
PRINT-READY advertising materials due by
Friday every week for next issue of KONK Life
Ad Dimensions
Horizontal and Vertical:
Full, 1/2, 1/3, 1/4, 1/8 page, bizcard
Ad Submissions
JPG, TIFF, PDF — digital formats only
Send to production@konkbroadcasting.com
KONK Life is published weekly by
KONK Broadcasting Network in Key West,
Florida. Editorial materials may not be reproduced
without written permission from the network.
KONK Broadcasting Network
RADIO y TELEVISION y INTERNET
Key West, Florida
(305) 768-0282 Fax| (305) 296-1630 Office
KEY
HAPPENINGS
Benefiting the Florida Keys’ American Cancer Society branch
BIT begins volunteer registration
one Island Triatholon/BIT has
begun volunteer registration for
full and half-iron distance events. Inaugural
event takes place Saturday, January 12, earning
the distinction of being the southernmost iron
distance event in the United States. Race director Richard Langdon said,
“e success of a race spanning 140.6 miles of swimming, biking, and running depends on the enthusiasm and talents of volunteers. Triathletes recognize volunteers are the heart of the race. Be prepared to be thanked
throughout the day for providing a safe, organized event.”
Volunteers receive special event T-shirts and hosted at a special dinner
5:30-7:30 p.m. ursday, January 10, at DoubleTree Grand Key Resort. A
variety of opportunities are available for volunteers of all ages at the swim
course (in the water or onshore), bike course, run course, transition area, aid
stations, refreshment area and parking. Assistance also needed with timing,
body marking and radio operation. Position descriptions available online.
Up to 1000 athletes, friends and family expected.
B
Holiday donations underway
First State Bank of the Florida Keys’ ongoing partnership with Wesley
House Family Services collects holiday donations for local children in need
throughout the Florida Keys. Keyswide First State Bank offices have drop
boxes for the community to leave donations of unwrapped toys for local
children, 0-17. Gift certificates for teens also welcome.
Holiday Jump Up, December 8
At the official Friend Club of Howard Livingston & Mile Marker 24
Band home bar, e Smokin' Tuna, noon- 4 p.m. Scheduled to perform
Captain Josh and Key West Chris Rehm. Raffles, giveaways, prizes and holiday music celebrates the season with good friends, good food and good
times. Serving community roles with Caribbean souls, collecting items for
the teens at Wesley House. List on website, www.SouthernmostCoconutCastaways.com, or bring checks, cash, or gift cards. Members and non-members are welcome. Free appetizers provided by Smokin’ Tuna and drink
specials, but bring a dish to share. No outside coolers or drinks allowed.
Committee adds member, December 12
Keys Energy Services (KEYS) had an opening on its Advisory Committee
for District Five, serving Big Pine Key to the Seven-Mile Bridge. In 1998 the
Utility Board approved the creation of a five-member Advisory Committee
designed to provide the Board and KEYS’ staff with community input on issues related to KEYS. e Advisory Committee includes five members, a
Utility Board Member and two KEYS’ staff members. Community members
represent five districts: Key West to Stock Island (District One); Key Haven
to Big Coppitt (District Two); Shark Key to Sugarloaf Key (District ree);
Cudjoe Key to the Torch Keys (District Four); and Big Pine Key to SevenMile Bridge (District Five). Sserving on the Advisory Committee are Gregory Veliz (District One); Greg Daniels (District Two); Alan Toriello
(District ree); and Bryan Scott (District Four). Sheriff Robert Peryam
(District Five) recently resigned from the committee in advance of his relocation to Jacksonville, resulting in the current vacancy. e Utility Board will
appoint District Five representative during its meeting on December 12.
e
www.konklife.com
www.konklife.com 5
COMMUNITY
THIS WEEK!
December 6
POSH raises funds for SPCA
POSH (Paws Often Steal Hearts) fundraiser for
Florida Keys SPCA, 6:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. ursday,
December 6, at Audubon House & Tropical Gardens,
205 Whitehead St., to prevent cruelty to animals and find
good homes for our canine and feline friends. Key West
formal attire for the evening event featuring the Fascinator Hat — a headpiece, style of millinery, usually a large
head decoration on a band or clip with elaborate trimmings and decoration like formal hat and can incorporate
a base to make a miniature hat. Everyone welcome to
wear one. Tickets at Mad Hatter, 253 Front St.; We’ve
Got e Keys, 922 Caroline St. $20/advance, $25/door.
Presented by Sunset Social Drinking Club, Simply You,
Weve Got e Keys, Great Events, Catered Affairs,
FK-SPCA.
December 7
Sculpture Key West
Civil War era forts on Key West’s Atlantic Ocean shore
backdrop for art during the open-air exhibition on the
grounds of Fort Zachary Taylor at Southard Street beyond Truman Annex. Performance art involves a unicycle
tour along the Florida Keys Overseas Heritage Trail. Exhibit opens Saturday, December 8, at Key West Garden
Club at West Martello Tower, Atlantic Boulevard at
White Street. Champagne meet-the-artists preview, 5-7
p.m. Friday, December 7. Two unicycle artists complete
their Overseas Heritage Trail, 4 p.m. to sunset Sunday,
December 9, at channel tiki hut, Fort Zachary Taylor
Historic State Park.
Preregister for NAMI classes
NAMI Florida Keys sponsors the NAMI Family-toFamily Education Program specifically for families
of persons diagnosed with severe mental illness. e
free 12 classes, 6-8:30 p.m., start January 9, 2013,
at Unity Church Key West. Contact Sherry on the
NAMI line, (305) 896-9182. Pre-registration now.
e
KEYS Mark Garcia gets a lift from a bucket truck
to help deck the halls outside of KEYS Service
Building on James Street for the holiday season.
6 www.konklife.com
local OBSERVATION
No matter
t the window of her hotel
room overlooking Ocean
Drive and the waning afternoon, she
daydreamed. At street level in front of
the hotel a band plucked out a flamenco.
Neighboring hotels competed with
music of their own, so that all the sounds
merged and rose to the sixth floor, in a
hypnotizing stew. But it was the wind
that caught her attention, bashing at the
blinds, sounding like a gigantic jaw
crunching on bones.
Juan was across the street, sitting on a
low wall. He was waiting. He would
know her when he saw her. Meanwhile
she was sliding the room key into her
pants pocket, and stopping in front of
the hall mirror where she examined herself. “See you later,” she murmured, and
walked out.
A
nails.
Daylight dwindled to twilight and
“Are you alone?” came a question
despite the gale she made for the beach.
from a man suddenly beside her. She
Toward the regiments of white and blue
summed him up as a shade beyond the
umbrellas planted at angles, creating
bloom of youth, with his start of
walls of flapping canvas with
a paunch. Almost handsome
which to protect the tourists
with his shiny black hair.
from the sun. e lounge
Juan was smiling, broadly,
chairs were mostly empty.
and hoping he was concealing
Long before she slipped out
the adrenaline. “May I walk
of her red flip-flops and tucked
with you?” he proposed. In an
them behind a trash can, Juan
instant he had slunk to her side
shadowed her. She wrapped her
and swiftly they were arm in
cardigan tightly around herself
and pressed against the rough
CHRISTINA arm. She did not like the feel.
“My grandmother always
wind, and toward the eerily
OXENBERG
took
me to the sea,” he said, as
placid surf. When she shivered
LEIGH VOGEL photo
they strolled. She noticed his
she blamed the breeze.
In the foam of the surf she let her toes white button-down shirt was missing a
nibble at the water. She was surprised by button at the collar where a thread hung
loose. “My grandmother would jab with
the warmth of the liquid, which she
her rosary and say, “‘at way to Cuba,
could scarcely feel. In a trance she stared
Juanito, promise me one day you will
as the froth rolled over her painted toe-
take the family home,’” Juan laughed. “I
love my grandmother so I always told
her, “‘Si Abuelita!’”
He hopped around so that he was
walking backwards in front of her, grinning confidently. “Shall we take a drink?
My apartment is...” And he was indicating a tall building. “ere is my apartment. Let’s go and take a drink on the
balcony, Si?”
Smiling, she shook her head and she
took a step away. Whereupon he was on
her. From nowhere he grew fangs and
claws and he was pulling her to the
sandy ground. In a wordless squall they
folded into the lapping waves. All matter
disintegrating with the elements.
e
www.wooldomination.com
Facebook/christinaoxenberg
www.konklife.com 7
KEY BUSINESS
IN KEYWEST
www.wooldomination.com
Facebook/christinaoxenberg
wining
the
keys
HOLIDAYs
W I N E A B I T, Y O U L L F E E L B E T T E R
THIS WEEK!
of the tours were full that day and if I’d like to
visit again next year, she’d make a reservation
for me. I just happened to mention I was the
wine columnist for the Key West Citizen. then
said, “Darn, I have two bottles of the ’97
Shafer Hillside Select Cabernet ($275 a bottle)
and wanted to see where they were born.” (Actually, I lied. I only have one bottle.) ere was
n our last episode, the Stoned Ranger
silence
on the other end of the line. “Hold on
(Steve) and his faithful indian companion
one
minute.”
(Dr. Jim) had completed their mission of
After a couple of seconds she came back
meeting T-Vine Winery’s owner and wineand
said, “Can you be here in 15 minutes? e
maker Greg Brown and started the long trek
tour
has already left, but we could squeeze you
back to the town of Napa (stopping at a number of wineries on the way.) en that evening in for the tasting.” Yee haw!
We definitely looked like trailer trash comwe headed back to our wine bar and got to
pared
to the others who had just finished the
relay our stories to anybody that would listen.
tour.
ey
started bringing out the wines and
As this was our last night in the valley, we let
when
we
got
to the Red Shoulder Ranch
everyone know it and drinks flew heavily
chardonnay,
she
apologized and said they had
throughout the room. Well, we ended up walkrun out of the 2001, but they had found a case
ing back to the hotel by ourselves, but with a
of
the ’97 (one of the most incredible vintages
substantial glow on. e next morning we
in
50 years.) We tasted and it was magical. I
were heading back to San Francisco, but it was
asked
her if they were selling the ’97. How
going to prove an equally interesting day.
many
bottles can I buy? One, she said. We
Our morning started out with Dr. Jim
kept
tasting.
e last bottle they brought out
looking out our second story hotel room winwas
the
2000
Hillside Select cabernet ($195 a
dow, exclaiming, “What the hell happened?!?”
bottle). Dr. Jim took a sniff and a taste and
Our room looked down over the pool which
looked
at me for a second. “Now I underwas missing two large opposing chunks of
stand!”
fence and most of the patio furniture. Dr. Jim
Earlier in the trip we had visited some awetook a look outside and saw that the car
some wineries such as Phelps,
parked next to our rental had a huge
Silver Oak and Groth, but nothdent in the rear. e place looked
ing compared to this taste of
like a meteor had fallen and skipped
heaven. From there we continued
through the pool fence, across the
down the road to Pine Ridge and
deck, out through the other side of
Darioush,
but nothing was as
the fence, landed in the back of a car
awesome
as
the Shafer Hillside.
and then disappeared.
Slowly
we
headed
back towards
We went downstairs and asked
the
Golden
Gate
Bridge
where
STEVE
what had happened. “You didn’t
hear a car plowing through our pool C A L D E R W O O D two days of the SF Blues Festival
awaited us. Doesn’t life just suck?
fence and hitting that car?!” What
As
a
prologue,
since we took that trip, the
can I say? I sleep deeply (when trashed). So we
SF
Blues
Fest,
the
longest running blues fest in
packed up our wine and luggage and got ready
the
United
States,
is no more. T-Vine’s Greg
to head out of Dodge. We were leaving Napa
Brown
lost
his
wife
to breast cancer, sold the
today, but we weren’t done tasting. We were
winery
and
later
took
his own life. e winery
going to the Stags Leap district of Napa. I had
was purchased by two fans of Greg’s wines.
one goal, Shafer Vineyards, and I made a little
Today Fernando, Greg’s only employee who
faux pas. You see, the Stags Leap district is
was rolling barrels when we were there, is now
home to a the finest of Napa cabernets, and
the winemaker. e wines are wonderful as
they have a bit of an attitude. Shafer’s wines
ever.
start at $40 and go up to several hundred dolIf you want the email newsletter Smokin’
lars a bottle. ey don’t want cheap drunks
Vines,
a listing of food and booze events in the
looking for free tastings running through the
Keys, send email to wineslut@me.com and I’ll
winery. ey require reservations and request
add you to the list.
you make them three months in advance.
at’s it for this week, so, until next time
As we were driving towards the winery, I
—
wine a bit, youll feel better.
called on my cell phone and a pleasant young
e
lady answered the phone and informed me all
he spirit of the holiday season comes alive
in the Florida Keys and Key West with holiday happenings and festive functions spreading cheer
in a subtropical climate. e calendar is packed with
events designed to celebrate the holiday spirit, including festive lighted boat parades featuring vessels whose
decorations range from traditional greenery to offbeat
salutes to the season. Listed here are some holiday highlights, all spiced with a characteristically Florida Keys
flair.
Part III of Part III
Visiting Wine Country
e pool, the ranch
& the hillside
I
8 www.konklife.com
T
December 7, 8 p.m.
Keys Chorales Fall-iday Concert
e Keys Chorale will present a “Fall-iday” concert at
the Key West United Methodist Church, corner of
Eaton and Simonton streets. Tickets are $20 for general
admission. (305) 296-1520 or www.keystix.com
December 7 and 14, 6-9 p.m.
Key West Holiday Historic Inn Tour
Discover the holiday spirit and Key Wests architecture
and history by touring beautifully decorated island
inns. Hosted by the Key West Innkeepers Association,
the tours include mouthwatering cuisine from Key
West restaurants, vintages from Opici Wine Co. and
other holiday refreshments. For cost and ticketing information, visitwww.kwholidays.com. (305) 295-1334
December 8, 7 p.m.
Key West Holiday Parade
e island city shows its holiday spirit with this annual
hometown parade. Featuring marching groups and motorized and nonmotorized floats, the festive procession
traditionally draws entries from churches, civic organizations, businesses and neighborhood and school
groups. Starting at Truman Avenue and White Street, it
proceeds down Truman to Duval, where it takes a right
and continues on to Eaton Street. (305) 809-3881 or
www.keywestcity.com
December 15, 7 p.m.
Lower Keys Lighted Boat Parade
All boats are welcome to enter the parade including
deep-sea cruisers, dinghies, kayaks and canoes. Santa
and Mrs. Claus are expected to arrive and hand out
candy to the kids. e best recommended viewing is
from Pine Channel Causeway or Parrotdise Waterfront
Bar & Grille, 183 Barry Ave. on Little Torch Key.
(305) 923-5370
December 15, 8 p.m.
Schooner Wharf Bar & Gallery
Lighted Boat Parade
Tiny rowboats, tall ships and everything in between
proceed around Key Wests Historic Seaport and harbor
areas. Before the 22nd annual boat parade, at 6 p.m.,
Gerald Adams Elementary Schools Steel Your Heart
| Ongoing through the holidays!
KEY WEST
LOU
TOYS’R US AND
GENDER DISCRIMINATION
nLEGALITIES WITH
Louis Petrone
weden is a bit different.
Dances to its own tune
occasionally. Its approach to sex is
one example.
ere is another.
Gender neutrality. Sweden’s
position is that male and female are
to be treated alike. No preferential
treatment one over the other.
Described by the Swedes themselves
as equality. Equality in the work
place and society. A Swedish
obsession.
One example of the obsessive
ends that Swedes go to achieve
gender neutrality is how teachers
refer to students. Not as him or her,
he or she. Rather as friends.
In 2008, a sixth grade class
in Sweden was studying gender
discrimination. e Toys’R Us
catalog drew their attention. e
six graders decided the catalog was
discriminating and not gender
equal. For example, boys generally
were shown wearing blue and girls
pink. Girls wore princess dresses.
e boys never. Guns for boys, not
for girls. Dolls for girls, not for
boys. Girls pushing baby carriages,
boys playing with miniature
soldiers. Girls with tiny kitchens
cookings, boys with sporting
equipment. Girls alone playing
with Barbie dolls. No boys
doing the same.
e sixth graders felt everything
in the catalog should be for both
sexes. No stereotyping. I have to ask
at this point: A princess dress for
a boy?
Sweden has a state agency
to hear gender discrimination
complaints. e sixth graders filed
a formal complaint. Justice is slow
moving in Sweden. e state agency
decision came out this year. e
state agency agreed with the sixth
graders. e decision included
phrases such as outdated gender
roles, narrow mindedness, and
degrading to both genders.
S
Toy’R Us took heed. Out went
the old catalog. In came a new.
Just in time for Christmas.
e new catalog is under
scrutiny. It did not go so far as
to put a boy in a princess dress.
However, it did dress the girls in
blue and boys in pink in some
instances. It has boys playing with
beauty instruments. Hair blowers
and the like. Doing a doll’s hair.
e boys are also shown doing
housework like ironing and
vacuuming. e girls were
portrayed holding all types and
sizes of guns and playing battle
games. e girls were on the sport
pages advertising gloves, bats,
basketballs, footballs and the like.
Will the new Toys’R Us pass
muster? Time will tell. I suspect
it will, even though no boy was
portrayed wearing a princess dress.
Is this right? I don’t know. I
never really thought about gender
equality in this fashion. Sweden
may be at the forefront, the wave
of the future. irty years from
now as male and female roles and
responsibilities in society will have
changed, persons of that era may
look back at Sweden 2012 and ask
. . . What was the big deal? Why all
the fuss?
e
LOU
PETRONE
TALK SHOW HOST
www.konklife.com 9
KONK
REACTOR
IT BREAKS A VILLAGE
illary’s expression “It
country’s bigger inner-cities, bad
takes a village [to raise elements began infiltration of
kids]” is turned on its head in Key
Balama Village. (I must say though
West. e (grown) children of the
that most agree that recent police
community must work to foster the diligence has greatly reduced
village itself — especially the oldest
such activity.)
neighborhood on the island: BaA valiant effort to keep old famihama Village. I ashamedly have to
lies in their homes — the Bahama
admit, though, that our neglect has
Conch Community Land Trust —
broken this Village…
was set up. e Trust would buy the
e Bahama Village neighborLAND out from under the homes
hood dates back to the earliest days
of families getting purchase offers
of our settlement and once covered
from speculators carrying suitcases
the westernmost quarter of the pop- full of cash. In exchange for deed
ulated island (when New Town was restrictions, they could then pay
a salt marsh). Many descendents of
nominal rent on the land ($50 a
African/Caribbean settlers ended up year or so) and remain in their
in this neighborhood. Over time,
homes. e BCCLT acquired
the Navy and developers extracted
dozens of such houses. But with a
land from it and cut off its direct
lack of clear support by the City,
access to the open water. But even
combined with an overwhelmed
under the racial segregation pracTrust manager, the BCCLT eventutices commonplace up to the 1960s, ally went bust. (See other stories in
the neighborhood thrived.
my Reactivity archive for more on
Emma Street was the hub,
the BCCLT.)
and the VFW/American
e lack of clear
Legion hall there pulled
support for BCCLT
in big acts like James
has been indicative of
Brown and BB King.
the city’s support for
ere was a theater and
the Village as a whole.
local shops and tradesough a “Tax Incremen. Eventually the
ment Financing”
“black high school” —
process was set up to
Frederick Douglas —
return tax money to
DAVID
was built there. And
the Village for special
LYBRAND
nearby within the Village about.me/DavidLybrand projects, there has
were over a dozen
been little followchurches and the community pool.
through beyond the (often proough the houses were (and still
tracted) allocation of the funds.
are) closely crowded and often not
Several landmarks HAVE made use
in the best state of repair, the comof the funds, but the once mighty
munity as a whole was vibrant.
American Legion Hall — has been
Somewhere on the path between condemned due to a lack of overt
there and here, something got out
action by the city. In all fairness, the
of whack. Some “blame” desegrega- Legion management was highly
tion for a slip in the cultural aura as inept, but the city COULD have
the community became more distepped in to help keep this historic
verse. e long-time families like
cultural institution afloat.
the Majors and Butlers and ChapAnother fiasco in progress is the
mans and Mobleys are still around,
state of the Frederick Douglas Gym,
but others have moved on. Onthe remaining component of the
again off-again gentrification and
high school that was shut down
the high cost of living on this island after desegregation. at gym is the
dispersed many old family clans.
HUB of activity for the kids in the
And many jobs were lost with the
Village, hosting many sports and
reduction in work after the Navy’s
educational events, daily recreation
| Continued on page 22
presence scaled back. Similar to our
H
10 www.konklife.com
ON THe scene
LARRY BLACKBURN photographer
A GRAND OPEning
ww.konklife.com 11
KEY WEST FILM FESTIVAL
LARRY BLACKBURN | photographer
12 ww.konklife.com
TREE TRIMMING PARTY
AT SCHOONER WHARF bar
www.konklife.com 13
december 6-12
Schooner Wharf
Paul Cotton Band
Rum Barrel
Rock Solomon (Left)
Green Parrot
Flow Tribe (Right)
14 www.konklife.com
FUNTIMES
Smokin’ Tuna Saloon
4 Charles St., off the 200 block
Duval Street, (305) 517-6350
n
1206-08, 1211
Nick Norman 10pm
South Carolina singer-songwriter
tours club scenes in his native
South Carolina, North Carolina,
Georgia and Florida.
1209-10
Rusty Lemmon 9pm
Stop in and see why Rusty’s local
fan base continues to grow in Key
West.
The Green Parrot Bar
601 White St., (305) 294-6133
n
Thursday-Sunday
Flow Tribe 10pm Thursday;
5:30pm and 10pm Friday;
10pm Saturday; 5:30pm Sunday
Backbone crackin music from
New Orleans: NOLA-based sixpiece funk-rock band Flow Tribe
bring their dramatic, brassed-up
brand of rock. Natives of New Orleans and founded in 2004, they
are self-described as a “bizarrely
irresistible unique blues/funk/rock
band that electrifies the audience
with the delicacy of a sledgehammer and a diversity of music that
absorbs the crowd into the band
and forms one funky orgy. Influenced by the eclectic New Orleans funk/rock community, Flow
Tribe is a dynamic entity that
seeks to take any event into the
4th dimension. Fusing psyche-
Smokin’ Tuna Saloon
Rusty Lemmon
delic/blues and funk/rock Flow
Tribe considers themselves “a
more irreverent version of Galactic that operates under the philosophy, take the music seriously,
but dont take yourself seriously.”
Friday-Sunday
Ketchy Shuby
5:30pm and 10pm Friday,
10pm Saturday, 5:30pm Sunday
Mix of psychedelic, soul,
Afrobeat, blues, jazz, reggae. Six
members whose roots range from
Jamaica, Cuba, Puerto Rico,
Broward and Dade counties. It’s
jazz, ’60s rock, Afrobeat, reggae,
ska. Group’s 28-year-old lead
vocalist and guitarist Jason
| Continued on page 16
Green Parrot
Ukulele Association Meeting Wednesday
www.konklife.com 15
FUNTIMES
The Green Parrot Bar
The Pier House
601 White St., (305) 294-6133
n
| Continued from page 15
Joshua “Jay” Hernandez-Rodriguez.
1212
Ukulele Association Meeting 8pm
Co-hosts Jeff Clarke, Tim McAlpine
and Jay Gewin. Ukulele-powered jam
session. All levels welcome. Spare
ukes and instruction available. Meeting begins with workshop for those
just starting out on the instrument.
Basic instruction, chord and song
sheets provided. 9 p.m. featured
performers, open mic and play-along
in no particular order. Carve out a few
hours for this.
The Wine Gallery Piano Bar,
One Duval, (305) 296-4600
n
Friday-Monday 7pm
Larry Smith performs jazz,
popular standards, originals,
with guest
singers, instrumentalists.
Sunday Showcase 9pm
Local rock
guitarist Ray
Pier House
Sigismondi has
Ray
assembled a band
Sigismondi
of Christine Cordone, Jim Clark, Larry
Smith, Rocko Blatts and Kathleen
Peace to accompany him in his annual rock-out showcase. Performance
will showcase Ray’s mastery of the
loud guitar-based rock music from the
‘60s, ‘70s and ‘80s.
NEXT WEEK: Christine Cordone,
Kathleen Peace and other Sunday
Showcase alumni singing the festive
songs of the holiday season.
n
Wine Gallery Piano Bar
Monday Jazz Jams 9pm
Jazz night withTim McAlpine on bass.
Larry Smith performs 7pm.
Guests join in at 9pm.
| Continued on page 17
16 www.konklife.com
Island Dogs
Tony Durante
FUNTIMES
Thursday-Friday
| Continued from page 16
Island Dogs
505 Front St., (305) 509-7136
n
Thursday Jon Lamere 8pm
Friday Tony Durante 8pm
The Rum Barrel
Quarterback Deck,
528 Front St., (305) 509-7136
n
Thursday
Larry Baeder
and Dora 6pm
Seasoned contemporary artist
Larry Baeder has
performed at
Apollo in New
York City with
Chuck Jackson,
Ashford & Simpson and Smokey
The Rum
Robinson and
Barrel
played, toured
Larry Baeder and recorded
with jazz legends.
Friday
Rock Solomon 7pm
Seattle native
returned to Key West recently
and formed The FutureX’s, a Future-Funk Retro Fusion DubHouse, after completing the
filming of his new music documentary, “STARVTIST: The Web
Series.” Recently released his
single “Leap of Faith” on iTunes
and on his website,
RockSolomon.com
Saturday The A-List 7pm
Hog’s Breath Saloon
400 Front St., (305) 296-4222
n
Dennis McCaughey
5:30-9:30pm
Lead vocals, rhythm guitar and
harmonica for trop-rock band
Tropical Soul. McCaughey plays
solo at the mid-shift gig.
Thursday-Sunday
Shane Dwight Band10pm-2am
Young American Roots Music
artist and killer blues player, introspective singer-songwriter whose
voice rings Americana, R&B and
Rock’n’ Roll. Talent and inspiration strong, his music draws from
blues, urban R&B, modern rock.
1210-16
Jessie Brown Trio 5:30-9:30pm
1210-16
Jonathan Birchfield 10pm-2am
Funky sounds of Little Feat, driving country of Delbert McClinton,
harmonies of CS&N, Eagles and
Jackson Browne, rounded out
with Birchfield originals compared
to Lyle Lovett and Dave Wilcox.
Wide variety of music and styles.
Schooner Wharf Bar
202 Williams St., 292-3302
www.schoonerwharf.com
n
Thursday
Tim Hollohan Duo 7-11pm
Friday-Saturday
Paul Cotton Band 7-Midnight
Sunday
Latin Calypso Party 6:30-11pm
Monday
The Real Malloys 7-11pm
Tuesday
Raven Cooper 7-11pm
Wednesday
Gary Hempsey 7-11pm
1215 Lighted Boat Parade
Annual nautical display of lights.
www.konklife.com 17
DEAR
tropic
VENUS JONES
sprocketS
MAY TH E STAR B E W ITH YO U
GROUNDING, CHANGE, VALUE,
THAT W0RD OF MOUTH
Dear Venus Jones: I was at a party
and take art on consignment. Most of
the other day with some friends. We were the artists are committed to what they do
talking and laughing about old times. I
and very creative and original. It doesn’t
don’t know what I said about some kind
seem as if they are very good at the PR
of intimate something or other, but one
work or marketing needed to let people
of my friends told me that while I was lit know about their products, or want to,
up like a light bulb, there was something so it is entirely up to me. Can you help
lacking in my physical grounding or my
me clear my head by giving some
“taking care of business” in real life way
insight into which direction would be
of being. It really hit home. What in my
best on a limited advertisement budget?
life needs the most change and attention
Dear Finding Advertisement that Pans
so I can be more successful financially
out: First and foremost you must start
and learn to value myself more?
thinking out of the box because it is over
Dear Taking care of Business: I would
crowded here in Key West where there is
have to say your friend knows you very
“art” in every nook and cranny. ink
well. Right around the beginning of
about why people come here — not the
2010, you started something on impulse
artists, but those on vacation — to be enbecause you could see no other way to
tertained, to have a good time. If they are
go. You were right at the time. You did
buying art, and not doing water sports or
need to spend some time being able to
listening to music, they want to see
concentrate on others so you could deunique or shocking, something that
cide what was important to you and why makes them laugh or feel pretty, good,
the things and situations you needed to
handsome, smart or sexy — something
let go of restructure or reevaluate. You
they can share and remember. What
have done that and for the
makes your shop stand out
last few months you have
from all the rest? What do
been spinning your wheels
you have that no one else
refusing to make decisions or
offers? You should have this
change your personal direcproduct in the position of
tion to one that is better
authority with everything else
suited to who you are. I have
as an accessory. Keep it light
a question for you: Who or
and play some music to go
what is it that you are focuswith it. Rotate products
DEAR VENUS
ing your attention on that is
often. Word of mouth is the
COLUMNIST
a distraction to your own
best advertisement you will
SYLVIA BOGART ever find, but people have to
health, wealth and well being
and what are your excuses for
be able to “see” the displays.
doing this? Are you that
ey must standout in
afraid of success? Stop procrastinating
a relaxed, comfortable atmosphere.
and giving away your power, refusing to
Advertising through flyers, brochures,
take responsibility for your own life and
commercials, etc., is about the “hook” or
business. Let go of the past and move
“tease” and meant to stimulate and
into the future. Don’t look back.
please, draw attention and beg the question: If they have these great things, what
Dear Venus Jones: I have been trying
else do they have? Maybe “we” should go
to find the best kind of advertisement for and check it out? A little goes a long way.
my business. I have tried different venues Hope this helps.
but none seem to pan out. I have talked
e
to different people about what they do as Send questions to venusjones50@yahoo.com
far as getting the word out about their
with your date of birth. If you are interested
products, services, art. Everything seems
in having a full chart and consultation. send
to be so expensive. I have an art gallery
me an email.
n
IN REVIEW WITH
Ian Brockway
Argo
he critically acclaimed
“Argo has arrived at e
Tropic. “Argo” is the smooth, crisply
directed story of the 1979 Iran
hostage crisis during the Carter Administration. Specifically the film is
loosely based on “e Canadian
Caper” in which six Americans
evaded capture by Islamic militants
by taking refuge at the home of
Canadian Ambassador Ken Taylor.
e film does a wonderful job at
illustrating the mixing of Pop Art
and life. e story chronicles a time
in history when cinematic fantasy
was used to accomplish diplomatic
goals with integrity and without
bloodshed.
e film begins with a brief
history of e Shah and Iran’s upheaval. e historical figures presented are shown as if they are
characters in a “Star Wars” comic
book. is is the era of Luke Skywalker and wookiemania. We see an
Indiana Jones version of Empress
Farah bathing nude in milk, while
e Shah dines on golden roasts,
letting his people starve to death.
Militants stormed the American
Embassy in Iran and took 52
American hostages who were held
for 444 days.
Actor Ben Affleck directs and
stars as real life CIA Agent Tony
Mendez, he is mostly grim and
resolute in his black beard and Justin
Beiber hair that falls over his face.
As in “e Sum of All Fears,” Affleck
is glib and direct. He refuses to take
no for an answer. One night as his
young son watches e Planet of
e Apes, Mendez gets the idea to
somehow convince the State Department to grant him access to Iran in
an attempt to rescue the six escapees
and bring them home. His disguise:
a producer for a fake sci-fi story. Iran
seems to make the perfect spot for a
T
18 www.konklife.com
fake location shoot. e odyssey begins. ere is the wise-cracking Alan
Arkin as a movie mogul, and he has
some of the best lines, no matter
that his character as played is a little
like Carl Reiner in “Ocean’s Eleven”
or that John Goodman as the
makeup artist John Chambers is
more than a bit like Goodman’s past
role in “Matinee” (1993) when he
played director Lawrence Woolsey.
Even though these roles are no
big leaps for the actors, Affleck gives
his players room to breathe and
become authentic Hollywood types
that have made a concrete difference
to us as a nation, a difference that
has nothing to do with the orange
tinsel of Sunset Boulevard.
e action is first rate as fast
paced and engaging as anything
featuring Steve McQueen or
directed by William Friedkin.
Affleck never consumes or dominates his narrative. He cares for the
beginning, middle and the all
important climax, knowing that the
best drama comes from the tension
within all of us. e attention
shown in this film is near compulsive, and Affleck presents the pitfalls
of two worlds: America and e
Middle East. When all is said and
done, the quaint Star Wars action
figures are especially touching — a
symbol of American hope and lost
innocence, not to mention actual
photos of the hostages paired with
their doppelgängers.
Key West Film Festival
he Key West Film Festival has arrived under
e Tropic’s famous Art Deco marquee with much anticipation. A
local favorite with a strong Key West
| Continued on page 20
T
Write Ian at redtv_2005@yahoo.com
www.TropicCinema.com
Tropic Cinema, the only nonprofit
art multiplex in South Florida. Rated
“Best Cinema in Florida 2009-2012”
WHITE PARTY
LARRY BLACKBURN
photographer
at
ISLAND HOUSE
ww.konklife.com 19
n I N R E V I E W W I T H Ian Brockway
Key West Film Festival
| Continued from page 18
SPOTLIGHT
LEIGH CONNELL
| Continued from page 4
LC It describes the muscles that sit between
your chest and quads. It is your middle, it is
your abs, and it is all the muscles that make
up your back that you don’t normally work.
GD You have developed a beautiful studio
at 1209 Truman Avenue.
LC Our studio is equipped with all new Peak
equipment, a leading manufacturer in the
industry. We have different apparatus like
reformers, a Cadillac, they are Pilates chairs
and barrels and towers. Anyone not familiar
with Pilates, this will sound like Greek. ey
are specially designed machines that work
your body unlike other physical training
equipment and support your body. at is basically the difference between doing Pilates on
a mat. e machines give you added support
and assist in achieving your fitness goals.
GD ese Pilate machines help students reach
their training goals. You have made quite an
investment in your new business. When a
new student signs up for classes with you, is
this hands-on experience?
LC Very much. We do not have classes any
larger than four students. By keeping classes
small, I can see what your body is doing. I
have a better opportunity to put you in the
right place that offers the most benefits. We
also offer group classes and private sessions.
connection remains “Tiger Eyes” based on Judy Blume’s controversial novel and directed by her son Lawrence. is film has sweeping
locations in Atlantic City and New Mexico, combined with
poignant performances by Willa Holland and the legendary Native
American actor and activist Russell Means in his final role.
In the other films, outspoken or quirky characters seem to be
the order of the day. ere is Brian Dannelly’s “Struck by Lightning” about a precocious high schooler (Glee star Chris Colfer)
who blackmails others in the cause to make his magazine a success.
In “Any Day Now,” versatile Alan Cumming plays a drag performer, circa 1970, who fights for the custody of a neglected child
with Down Syndrome. Vibrant and heartfelt, trading in his customary villainy for some organic Glam rock, Cumming has never
been better.
Other standouts are “California Solo,” a gritty existential tale of
an almost famous Scottish rocker caught in the knotty dilemmas of
America’s immigration policy. Robert Carlyle is Lachlan. With his
gaunt angular physique and emotional face, a study in struggle,
Lachlan is the perfect shape for a well meaning figure caught in
Kafkaesque quicksand. Along the way he also exemplifies a shaky
rhythm and the joy of Rock and Roll.
e iconic Jane Fonda stars in “All Together” as Jeanne, a libidinous commune resident filled with five other friends all of them
septuagenarian or octogenarian and too cute for words as each one
dreams of caressing the other. Free love has never been so accepting
of its wrinkles, but the acting is excellent.
In “Gayby,” a gay slacker (Matthew Wilkas) and a volatile yoga
instructor (Jenn Harris) are best friends that want to have a baby.
What at first glance is ho hum, is quickly lifted to ho-ha-hilarious
with its rapid one liners and its no holds barred (with all things
bare) irreverence. “Gayby” has a wonderful spirit helped in no
small measure by the quirk in its characters.
Last but not least, there is Stephen Cone’s “Wise Kids,” a sociological tale of children deep in a matrix of Fundamentalist beliefs.
By highlighting each character, “Wise Kids” owes a debt to the
work of Larry Clark, but its neutral tone gives the film a wistful
edge.
Whether you have a craving for the comical to the quirky, or
some edgy moral quandaries, e Key West Film Festival makes for
some diverse cinematic flora. Here’s to next year!
GD You are a high-energy personality. You
and your husband Jim are out of New Jersey.
When you think about Key West, what was
the main reason for you to move to Key West?
LC We have been coming here for years. At
first we would come for a week or two, and as
time passed we began to want to spend more
time here. As we got older, we began to think
about where we could go for the winter season. It has always been the place I wanted to
go to. It seemed like the right opportunity
and timing. So here we are. e
e
Write Ian at redtv_2005@yahoo.com
www.TropicCinema.com
Tropic Cinema, the only nonprofit art multiplex in South Florida.
Rated “Best Cinema in Florida 2009-2012”
20 www.konklife.com
AIDS HELP TREE OF HOPE
n LARRY BLACKBURN | photographer
www.konklife.com 21
konk
reactor
DAVID LYBRAND
| Continued from page 10
and learning. Over five years ago,
Commissioner Lopez warned the
city about roofing problems there,
but maintenance never happened.
Now the roof is starting to crumble
and parts of the facility are closed
off. e entire gym could be closed
down if this neglect is not rectified.
ere HAVE been some success
stories in the Village, such as the
restorative work on the community
pool and the updated affordable
housing by the Housing Authority.
e city needs to pay more attention
to MAINTAINING the public
works of the Village though, to avoid
further breakage.
e
UPFRONT
COMMUNITY EVENTS
| Continued from page 4
Festival of Lights, December 8
Hanukkah at B’nai Zion
KONKLifes BIG SAVINGS are here!
521 Fleming St.
15% off
Advertise
YOUR
SPECIAL!
1219 Duval St.
(305) 295-9777
Free soda, water or chips
with sandwich purchase
* does not include breakfast
Jewish Festival of Lights begins
early this year on Saturday, December 8, with the lighting of the first
candle in the menorah. Congregation B’nai Zion, founded in 1887
and the oldest Jewish synagogue in
South Florida, invites everyone to
witness the initial kindling 7 p.m. in
the plaza at 750 United St. beginning at 6 p.m. e community is
also invited to the lighting of the
second candle followed by a gala
Hanukkah dinner and celebrationat
6 p.m. Sunday, December 9. e
party will feature traditional food including latkes (potato pancakes) and
special sweets. Dinner guests invited
to bring family menorahs and three
candles to light before the holiday
meal. Also called the Festival of
Lights, Hanukkah commemorates
the victory of the Israeli Maccabees
and the rededication
of the Holy Temple, the second
Temple in Jerusalem, in the 2nd
century B.C.E. It also celebrates the
miracle that kept the eternal light in
the synagogue burning with little oil
for eight days until more oil could
be consecrated. us the holiday is
celebrated for eight nights, and candles are lighted in the Hanukah
menorah, one more each night, by
the shamas (sexton) candle.
All interested are welcome.
No charge for plaza menorah
lightings; Sunday dinner and festivities, $25 for adults, $10 for children
under 12; under three free.
Hanukkah candle lighting and
party kicks off CBZ’s 125th anniversary celebration, culminating in a
gala at Braza Lena on January 6.
INFO (305)849-9001
December 31
Pooches promenade!
America’s southernmost island
just might go to the dogs noon
Monday, December 31, when 200
short-legged, long-bodied canines
and owners gather for the eighth
annual Key West Dachshund Walk.
An offbeat New Year’s Eve
tradition, the procession of pooches
begins at the corner of Whitehead
and Fleming streets. e walking
route deliberately kept brief to cater
to the dachshund’s short legs encompasses the 400 block of Fleming
Street, 500 block of Duval and the
one-block of Appelrouth Lane.
e 2011 “wiener walk” included
227 dogs. Standouts were a “newshound” wearing a functioning
video camera, a “horse” with cowboy
doll rider and “iguana” with threefoot-long tail. Canines include
miniature, standard shorthaired,
wirehaired and longhaired dachshunds. Some trot, others ride in
wagons or strollers. Dogs accompanied by a supply wagon carrying
water for thirsty walkers and plastic
bags for quick cleanup of any accidents as well as providing transport
for dogs that get tired along the way.
Procession draws dachshund “imposters” bearing a suspicious resemblance to other breeds. Pedigrees
aren’t checked, so even “wiener
wannabes” can strut their stuff in
the lighthearted annual amble.
No cost to participate, but donations of dog and cat food requested
for community pet-food pantry operated by St. Mary Star of the Sea
Outreach Mission. Spectators meet
canine participants on Fleming
Street between Whitehead and
Duval streets.
INFO
keywestdachshundwalk@gmail.com
22 www.konklife.com
e
the gadabout
HOW MANY TIMES DOES
51 GO INTO 28
’ve turned a corner, and it’s not a
pretty one. In a nutshell, four of
us strangers ended up at a house.
(Don’t ask). e fourth guy just assumed that I was with the 72 year
old when actually I was there with
the 28 year old. I had a moment
and thought about it. I did a little
math and realized that I’m closer to
72 than 28. Oh, come on! What! I
truly freaked. e voice in my head
was screaming NO! I seriously felt
like I had tunnel vision from the
anxiety. I can’t even imagine what
my face looked like when I had this
epiphany. ese guys must have
thought that I was having a stroke
. . . particularly because of my
apparent advanced age. Wtf! When
did I get so old? When did I become
my father? Never mind, the things
that I do would have never even
entered my father’s head.
Anyway, I just grabbed the 28
year old in a most inappropriate
manner and place. It was just reflex.
I was rebelling about realizing that
I’m closer in age to old than young.
Bite me.
Okay, so I’ve hit the point that
Rogaine is my only hair product
and let’s face it, the only part of me
that’s getting thinner are my lips.
As an aside here, my friend Karen
recently called me in a panic
because she noticed her first bit
of skin sagging. I laughed during
her hysterics because I’ve already
crossed that bridge. Call me when
all your hair from your head is in
yours ears and nose. en we will
talk.
I thought that I had embraced
my middle-agedness by convincing
myself that I’m a young-old person;
that’s somehow better than being an
old-young person. At least it’s better
in my twisted mind. I don’t know.
A friend had told me of a
hookup website that was for older
and younger looking for each other
— Silver Daddies or OldFags.com
or something. I figured that I would
be the spring chicken of the older
set. It just grossed me out for some
reason. However, I’ll probably
I
revisit the site after a few drinks and
write all sorts of inappropriate stuff.
I’m actually very buzzed right now
and this column is late so got to go.
I should just start acting my age,
then I wouldn’t have to deal with
such nonsense . . . never mind, I’ll
never act 51, even when I’m 72.
e
SCOTT
McCARTHY
GadaboutKeyWest@gmail.com
2012-2013 SEASON
December 20 to January
12: The 39 Steps
by John Buchnan. Previews December 18-19. Giddy display of
theatrical invention is Broadways longest-running comedy.
Four actors create 150 characters
to portray Hitchcocks masterpiece. Directed by Danny
Weathers. Sponsored by Conch
Color. Opening party sponsored
by Michaels Restaurant in memory of Henry Woods.
January 31 to February 16:
Six Dance Lessons in Six
Weeks by Richard Alfieri.
Previews: January 29-30. Joy
Hawkins stars as a formidable
retired widow who hires an exBroadway chorus boy (co-star
Denis Hyland) to give her dance
lessons, but it’s hate at first sight.
Directed by Stuart Meltzer. Part
comedy, part drama and part
cha-cha-cha.
www.konklife.com 23