from the family - Holt International
Transcription
from the family - Holt International
From Your Heart to Your Home Fulfilling the dream of a family. Adoption from China and other countries. www.holtinternational.org 1-888-355-HOLT CONTENTS Dear Readers One of the defining milestones of life for an adoptive parent is often referred to simply as… “the call.” Renée and Brandon Francis gaze into the face of their newborn son. Although it’s been 23 years since our social worker told my wife and me, “You have a daughter,” I still marvel at the surreal notion that a child was coming to us. After we brought Renée home from Korea, I wrote in this column: “…her adoption has given us a deep feeling of wonder at the privilege of receiving her.” Above: Ilsan residents participate in a fan dance at the annual Christmas party. Cover photo: Kristen Joi Soden, 4, born in Korea, is the daughter of Nanine and Thomas Soden. COUNTRY FOCUS FROM THE FAMILY Fifty-Two Pounds of Fierce 18 A young boy from Thailand proves that cerebral palsy cannot deter joy. Our God-like Capacity to Love 20 Adoptive parents often know their child when they see that first photo. China Tour 21 Two accounts of Holt’s first Family Tour to China. ADOPTING Family Ambassadors story page 18 6 Holt takes a look back at the beginning of a movement. story page 20 Korean Heritage 26 ADOPTEES TODAY Commitment 28 A recent bride thanks her parents for their commitment. story page 21 Adoptive families make an effective case for adoption among interested couples. Dear Readers Update Directions Around the Globe Easy to Love Inspiration Sponsorship Family Tree Calendar Holt History 3 4 5 10 12 14 16 24 30 31 story page 28 DEPARTMENTS Less than a month ago, we got another “call” that brought similar feelings. It was 3 a.m. Renée was in labor and had been admitted to the hospital. Twelve hours later Ayden Kai Francis was born. Seeing Ayden then, and even now three weeks later, my recollections of the whole event hover along the edges of disbelief. Once again a child has entered our lives. Once again the wonder and the sense of privilege fill us to brimming over. As the nurse placed Ayden into Renée’s arms for the first time, Renée said, “Oh, you look similar to me…” Renée would tell you that she has always had an unshakable sense of belonging in our family. She’s always been well centered and balanced as to her identity as an American with a Korean heritage. But I think Ayden’s features were a marvel to the young mother, in a way that matched our own sense of the miraculous. Renée told me recently that having a genetic connection to us was never an issue for her, especially when weighed against the emotional and spiritual bonds that we share. Still it was a precious gift to her, to finally have this little person in whom she continues to discover images of herself. I have written many times that adoption shapes a family for generations to come. I can now attest to this statement from experience. It’s interesting that though Ayden has no genetic connection to my wife and me, his face still reflects our family. In Renée there is the unmistakable imprint of our family. Occasionally I remind myself that her face has another heritage. But it seems more real to see her—her face, her personality—as part of our family, than not. After all, to us Renée’s was always one of the faces that defined our family. Now a new version of this definition continues into another generation. And what wonder and privilege it is. It seems especially fitting to share this story at this season of the year. I also marvel at the words of Isaiah who wrote: “For unto us a child is born, a son is given.” (Isaiah 9:6 KJV). God’s greatest gift to us came in the form of a child. And these majestic words resonate with vast rich meanings for all, especially for adoptive parents around the world who understand what a gift it is that a child would be born “unto us.” May God’s blessings and love fill your homes throughout the year and especially during this Christmas season. ■ —John Aeby, Editor www.holtinternational.org 3 news and update National Adoption Month National Adoption Awareness Month takes place in November. Official government recognition goes back to 1976, when then-Governor Michael Dukakis of Massachusetts proclaimed Adoption Week. In 1990, President Gerald Ford proclaimed a National Adoption Week, which soon afterward became National Adoption Month. Across the country, special recognition dinners and recruitment campaigns take place to highlight children who need permanent, loving families. Dream House Adoptive parents Susan and David LaRocca of Jemison, Alabama, will soon have a new 3,595 square foot house to better suit their large family. The LaRoccas, who have Members of the LaRocca family including children, grandchilfour adult biological children, and spouses of children. David LaRocca is in the back dren, adopted 10 children row, far left, and Susan is on the far right. with special needs over the years. Three were adopted through Holt. The family’s current home has four bedrooms and two small bathrooms, but the LaRoccas never hesitated when it came to adding to their family. “It was almost like Jesus would knock on the door and ask us if we had room,” said Susan LaRocca. “We’ve made room and made room until, now, we’re bursting at the seams.” Last year members of the LaRoccas’ church, Calera First United Methodist, submitted a videotape of the family to ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. When the LaRoccas heard no response, the church took it a big step further by committing to build a new home using their own resources. Other community churches joined what became known as the “Corinthian Project,” after 1 Cor. 10:24—“Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.” NOV/DEC 2005 VOL. 47 NO. 5 HOLT INTERNATIONAL CHILDREN’S SERVICES P.O. Box 2880 (1195 City View) Eugene, OR 97402 Ph: 541/687.2202 Fax: 541/683.6175 OUR MISSION Holt International is dedicated to carrying out God’s plan for every child to have a permanent, loving family. In 1955 Harry and Bertha Holt responded to the conviction that God had called them to help children left homeless by the Korean War. Though it took an act of the U.S. Congress, the Holts adopted eight of those children. But they were moved by the desperate plight of other orphaned children in Korea and other countries as well, so they founded Holt International Children’s Services in order to unite homeless children with families who would love them as their own. Today Holt International serves children and families in Bulgaria, China, Ecuador, Guatemala, Haiti, India, Korea, Mongolia, the Philippines, Romania, Thailand, the United States, Uganda, Ukraine and Vietnam. PRESIDENT & CEO Gary N. Gamer VICE-PRESIDENT OF PROGRAMS & SERVICES Carole Stiles VICE-PRESIDENT OF MARKETING & DEVELOPMENT Phillip A. Littleton VICE-PRESIDENT OF PUBLIC POLICY VICE-PRESIDENT OF FINANCE & ADVOCACY Susan Soon-keum Cox & ADMINISTRATION Kevin Sweeney BOARD OF DIRECTORS CHAIR James D. Barfoot VICE-CHAIR Julie Banta PRESIDENT EMERITUS Dr. David H. Kim SECRETARY Steven Stirling MEMBERS Donna V. Bailey, Kim S. Brown, Lawrence R. Cahill, Wilma R. Cheney, Clinton C. Cottrell, Will C. Dantzler, A. Paul Disdier, Rosser B. Edwards, David L. Hafner, Claire A. Noland, Janet E. Peterson, Jeffrey B. Saddington, Shirley M. Stewart magazine is published bimonthly by Holt International Children’s Services, Inc., a nonprofit Christian child welfare organization. While Holt International is responsible for the content of Holt International magazine, the viewpoints expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the organization. HOLT INTERNATIONAL EDITOR John Aeby MANAGING EDITOR ASSISTANT Alice Evans Sara Moss SUBSCRIPTION ORDERS/INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES Send all editorial correspondence and changes of address to Holt International magazine, Holt International, P.O. Box 2880, Eugene, OR 97402. We ask for an annual donation of $20 to cover the cost of publication and mailing inside the United States and $40 outside the United States. Holt welcomes the contribution of letters and articles for publication, but assumes no responsibility for return of letters, manuscripts, or photos. REPRINT INFORMATION Permission from Holt International is required prior to reprinting any portion of Holt International magazine. Please direct reprint requests to editor John Aeby at 541/687.2202 or johna@holtinternational.org. Buddhist Churches Donate In early September, Holt International received a $20,000 donation from a Buddhist faith community to be used for work in the tsunamiaffected areas of Thailand. After appealing to their members for donations for tsunami relief, the Social Welfare Committee of the Buddhist Churches of America selected eight organizations with which to share the donations. The letter to Holt that accompanied the gift said in part, “We hope this expression of concern and support for your efforts will assist in the tsunami victims’ recovery process. With best regards for your dedication to helping relieve suffering around the world.” ARKANSAS OFFICE 5016 Western Hills Ave., Little Rock, AR 72204 Ph/Fax: 501/568.2827 CALIFORNIA OFFICE 3807 Pasadena Ave., Suite 115, Sacramento, CA 95821 Ph: 916/487.4658 Fax: 916/487.7068 MIDWEST OFFICE SERVING IOWA, NEBRASKA AND SOUTH DAKOTA 10685 Bedford Ave., Suite 300, Omaha, NE 68134 Ph: 402/934.5031 Fax: 402/934.5034 MISSOURI OFFICE/KANSAS OFFICE 203 Huntington Rd., Kansas City, MO 64113 Ph: 816/822.2169 Fax: 816/523.8379 122 W. 5th St., Garnett, KS 66032 Missouri@holtinternational.org OREGON OFFICE Capitol Plaza 9320 SW Barbur Blvd., Suite 220, Portland, OR 97219 Ph: 503/244.2440 Fax: 503/245.2498 NEW JERSEY OFFICE 4 Holt Graduate 340 Scotch Rd. (2nd Floor), Trenton, NJ 08628 Ph: 609/882.4972 Fax: 609/883.2398 Alex Hoekstra—Waukesha, WI; Future Business Leaders of America, United Methodist Youth, 1st Place Track Regionals. Plans to major in business at Central College in Pella, IA (Korea). ■ COPYRIGHT ©2005 BY HOLT INTERNATIONAL CHILDREN’S SERVICES, INC. ISSN 1047-7640 Nov/Dec 2005 directions Gary Gamer, Holt International President and CEO, greets Lee, MyungBak, the Mayor of Seoul, South Korea, at the 50th Anniversary of the beginning of Holt Children‘s Services in Korea, marking the day when Harry and Bertha Holt adopted eight Korean war orphans and brought them home to Oregon. In foreground center are Steve Stirling and behind him Steve Morrison, both Holt adoptees who have served on the Holt International Board of Directors. Holt’s Korea Legacy The contrasts are striking. Abandoned Amerasian infants in clinics hanging on for their dear lives vs. rosy-cheeked babies dozing comfortably in the arms of foster mothers while awaiting their adoptive parents. Ladles of rice porridge dished to families in crisis vs. community centers staffed with social workers and therapists helping children and families. Disabled children left in institutions vs. day centers where parents bring them to develop their abilities. T These are but a few of the incredible changes in Korean childcare since Harry and Bertha Holt first adopted eight Korean children 50 years ago. Their initial efforts led to the establishment of the Holt organization in Korea—an organization at the forefront of positive change to this day. Indeed there was much to celebrate this past October as child welfare specialists from around the world gathered in Seoul for the 50th Anniversary of the beginning of our sister agency in Korea, Holt Children’s Services (HCS). Since October 14, 1955, when Harry and Bertha brought eight war orphans home to Oregon, about 90,000 Korean children have found adoptive families in Korea and other countries. HCS has 11 branch offices across the country and numerous community-based facilities that assist children and families who face a variety of difficulties. The Holt name is known throughout Korea for the compassion of its founders and the excellence in services that have continued through HCS. Since Harry Holt first stepped foot in Korea, the Republic of Korea has grown from a postwar disaster zone to the 11th largest economy in the world, with subsequent changes in its standard of living. Nevertheless, children with disabilities and those born out of wedlock continue to face stigmas and situations that require adoption and other specialized services. In the face of political opposition, the Korean government has established arbitrary allocation for intercountry adoption. A declining Korean birthrate in recent years has added fuel to this opposition. Although Holt and other agencies strongly promote adoption within Korea, domestic adoption and family preservation services alone cannot provide enough help. By Gary N. Gamer, President and CEO Intercountry adoption is still an important safety valve for Korean children who need families. Steve Stirling and Steve Morrison are two men who advocate for Korean children from the experience of their own lives. Both were children with disabilities adopted internationally from Korea. Both have served on Holt International’s Board of Directors. Loving U.S. parents encouraged them to achieve their God-given potential, and today they are noted professionals in respected fields with wonderful families of their own. Stirling and Morrison are among a growing tide of adoptees who advocate that allocation not get in the way of Korean children being placed in permanent loving families. Both men show the compassion of Harry Holt, who cared for them, and the faith of Bertha Holt, who inspired them. Both work actively for children to have the same chance they did. Both want, for example, children with special needs to be exempted from the quota in Korea. Both were honored at the 50th Anniversary in Korea—one by the Mayor of Seoul and the other with a moving testimony at the large celebration attended by hundreds of influential Koreans and other nationalities. Fifty years ago, the thought of two disabled and abandoned children growing up to speak such truth to people in power would have been unimaginable. And even though the conditions for children without families have greatly improved over the past five decades, the basic and emphatic need for children to have families still exists in Korea, the United States and around the world. During the anniversary celebration I heard several times from our Korean colleagues and those from other countries that “we live under the same roof.” This is a roof over a global house in which we share humanity across cultural and geographic borders. It is the roof of our heavenly Father and his son Jesus who said that “whoever receives one little child in my name receives me.” My prayer is that 50 years from now, children will not need to be adopted. Thank you for helping Holt International to pursue this dream. ■ www.holtinternational.org 5 A Legacy of Love for Children Holt Children’s Services of Korea, which begins celebrating five decades of serving children, has made significant contributions to international child welfare. by John Aeby Editor and Director of Communications Top center: Molly Holt, eldest daughter of Harry and Bertha Holt, lives and works at Ilsan and serves as Chairperson of the Board of Directors of Holt-Korea Right: As a young nurse in Korea, Molly Holt assists Dr. Tenhave in caring for a malnourished infant. 6 Nov/Dec 2005 Over the years a touching drama has played out at the offices of Holt Children’s Services in Seoul, Korea. In a plain waiting room on the ground floor, couches and chairs spread along the walls where five or six women—foster mothers—find separate, private spaces. Each one huddles with a small child. The mothers rock and stroke their children’s faces. Some shed quiet tears—preparing to say good-bye. For several months these foster mothers have dedicated themselves to the new little life put into their charge. The mothers’ day and night devotion can be seen on the children’s healthy faces. Some of the children sleep, peacefully unaware; others stare wide-eyed, looking from the faces of their foster mothers to the busy goings on around the room—the preparations for a journey that will take them to their anxious adoptive families in the United States. After the medical exams, inventories of documents and replenishing baby bag supplies, the foster mothers are called to gather around. (The foster families also stuff bags full of gifts, photos and clothing.) They stand in a small circle, clutching their children. The children’s flight escorts and a few Holt staff all join together as one of the staff prays aloud. The prayer asks for safe travels for each child, a happy life with their new parents, and offers thanks for the privilege of touching these precious lives. Then, the whole entourage hustles the children outside to a waiting van. The children are bundled into the arms of staff and the escorts who will deliver Residents of Ilsan live in group homes according to their needs and receive regular physical, speech and vocational therapy. They are given every opportunity to live full lives. This young woman is on her way to the annual Christmas party. They also developed a commitment to good record keeping. In the years since, many of these records have become a precious link to the past for adoptees who want to know their history. From the beginning there were many on both sides of the ocean who opposed international adoption. It took courage and a commitment to the children and to ethical practices to persevere through such opposition. Through various seasons of debate and political criticism, the Holt-Korea staff have continued to put the best interests of children first and defended a child’s need to be loved and belong in a family. Child welfare authorities of Korea promoted the Above: A baby and her foster mom await the time for departure to her adoptive parents. the children to parents who wait an ocean away. Before the van can leave, the foster mothers press close for a last look. A hand against the glass. Tears of love and farewell flow without reservation. Right: At the Salvation Army Home for Unwed Mothers in Seoul, two hanboks are pinned to the wall in the sewing room–one for a girl, the other for a boy. Each mother-to-be lovingly prepares this traditional clothing for her child’s first birthday celebration, guessing her child’s gender. Ninety percent of the time, her guess is correct. For nearly 50 years, Holt Children’s Services of Korea has given children a remarkable combination of efficient, well-ordered services along with genuine, heartfelt love. This past October, Holt-Korea celebrated its 50th anniversary. (In the traditional age-counting structure of Korea, everyone begins with one.) Holt-Korea’s years have been rich with accomplishments, too many to recount adequately here. But the following are some highlights that many families will recognize. Laying the Foundations for International Adoption After Harry and Bertha Holt adopted their eight children from Korea in 1955, Harry returned to Korea the following March to help other children have families. Harry, along with a dedicated Korean staff launched the work that became Holt International and Holt Children’s Services of Korea. Conditions were desperate in the years following the Korean War. Simply enabling children to survive was a significant accomplishment. To meet this need Harry and his staff developed practices that laid the foundations for Holt’s work today: attentive, loving care along with basic good nutrition, shelter and medical treatment. Harry instinctively knew that all children, and especially those who were malnourished and weak, needed the warmth of a caring touch and the encouragement of a loving voice. 8 Nov/Dec 2005 development of an adoption process that carried adequate protections for birth parents and children. Because of these protections, Korea’s international adoptions have been remarkably free of abuses and those who sought to exploit children for profit. Yet Korea created a reliable, efficient system that continues to move homeless children into their adoptive families in a relatively short amount of time. Caring and Counseling As Korea moved beyond postwar conditions, children began coming into Holt’s care because of social issues. The stigma for young single mothers and children without legitimate fathers resulted in recently born children being relinquished for adoption. These young children needed tender, nurturing, around-the-clock care—the kind of care a Korean mother would typically give. In the mid-60s, Holt began developing foster care to provide a temporary home and family for these children until they could be adopted. The foster families were chosen and trained carefully. The children stayed with just one family until they were ready to go to their adoptive families. Usually there was only one foster child in the family. Sometimes the foster family had older children in the home and they helped as well. The whole family lavished love Ways You Can Help Children in Korea Send money to support a child through the Holt Sponsorship Program. For $25 a month, you can help feed and clothe a child at Ilsan, the Jeonju Baby Home, or other Holt-supported facilities. Holt is building a new community center in Busan and a shelter for unwed mothers in Daejeon that need your support. www.holtinternational.org (888) 355-4658 on their little charge, and yet, when the time came, they willingly let the child go to his adoptive family, and most of the time, they were willing to take another child. Holt has taken the model developed in Korea and applied it in similar ways in nearly every country where Holt works. Through the years foster families have proven to be vastly superior to institutional care for giving children a healthy and positive start toward their future and life with their adoptive families. Holt’s foster care has revolutionized childcare in countries such as China and Romania, and all of these programs have roots in Korea. Holt’s work in Korea began with a sensitivity toward the birth parents, and this attitude has been a vital part of the program ever since. In the early years the Korean birth mothers always ached to relinquish their children who were mixed race even though they knew their child’s life would be too hard in traditional Korea. On one occasion a young mother returned and asked Harry Holt to give her baby back a few days after leaving the child for adoption. Harry returned the child and offered to help the mother. When he wrote about this incident, he said, “I always return a baby if asked to. We are not kidnapping anyone’s child.” As the program matured, this respect for birth parents continued and developed into services that sought to help the young women who were making such a difficult decision. The young women who brought children usually felt they had no choice. Counseling helped the mothers to accept their decision as a proactive choice they were making for the better of both themselves and their child. Programs for Disabled In the early 1960s Harry Holt looked for a site to build a new, larger childcare center. The program had outgrown the previous three locations in months or just a couple of years. After an extensive search over three years, David Kim, Harry’s first assistant and later President of Holt International, located a 60-acre hillside site near the DMZ. Harry constructed buildings on the site near the town of Ilsan, and the Ilsan Center quickly filled up with over 200 children. While Holt was able to place many children with disabilities, it became apparent that some of the children had conditions that made it nearly impossible to find adoptive families for them. They would need a long-term home in the care of the Holt program. Above: A childcare worker at the Jeonju Baby Home watches over a sleeping child. As the years passed and foster families took care of the majority of children, Ilsan increasingly became a home for those with severe disabilities. But Holt modified the Ilsan Center to be much more than a place just to stay. It began by offering a variety of therapies to improve their lives and opportunities. Soon the program began developing schools, vocations and special living arrangements designed to help residents develop a full life outside the gates of Ilsan. Top left: Children enjoy a nutritious meal at the Jeonju Baby Home. While Holt’s Ilsan Center has created many opportunities for disabled residents, perhaps its greatest contribution is simply allowing the residents themselves to prove their capabilities. Ilsan often hosts gatherings for residents who have successfully created independent lives for themselves. They have jobs, families and homes of their own. In years past in Korea, the disabled were often kept hidden, a shame for their families and communities. But Holt and the Ilsan program elevated the status of the disabled and now Ilsan is a model program of world-class stature. ■ www.holtinternational.org 9 country news Globe China Holt foster care programs are being expanded to include Wuwei Orphanage in Gansu province, Beihai Orphanage in Guangxi province, and Shangrao and Fuzhou Orphanages in Jiangxi province. Currently, Holt supports and manages foster care programs in 15 locations Thanks to Holt’s foster care program, this girl now lives with this foster mother and around China. her family instead of in an orphanage. On Sept. 16, China became the 67th country to join the Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Cooperation in Respect of Inter-Country Adoption when it deposited its instrument of ratification with The Netherlands Ministry of Foreign Affairs. The Convention will enter into force for China on Jan. 1, 2006. Romania In late September, nine representatives from Holt Ukraine traveled to Romania to observe Close to You programs that benefit children and families affected and infected by HIV/AIDS. In Uganda, two “grannies” prepare porridge for children, a program supported through Holt sponsorship. In August, Holt began distributing vitamins from a sponsor in The Netherlands. Last summer, Holt held a camp for HIVpositive children. Holt also held a campaign in which 64 teenagers learned about HIV/AIDS from a representative of the Public Health Department in Iasi as well as from a family doctor. Uganda Because of the high rate of HIV/AIDS in Uganda and the subsequent loss of almost an entire generation, more than ever it takes a village to raise a child said Holt staff member, Dennis Dolan, Foundation & Corporate Relations, who traveled to Uganda last spring to see Holt’s sponsorship work in action. Through its partner agency in Uganda, Action for Children, Holt works to save lives and improve the quality of living. In September, the Family Preservation program offered training in nutrition in the community of Kiwatule. More than 108 people attended the training aimed at improving the nutrition of children through the caretakers. The Stay Alive project ran trainings in the three districts of Lira, Masindi and Gulu, with 75 youth clubs being formed so far. The Grandparents Action Support (GAS) program is carrying out an indigenous knowledge study among grandmothers about existing childcare practices. Groups of six to eight grandmothers are organized within neighborhoods, said Dolan. Some are sole caregivers to their grandchildren, many of whom are orphaned or made vulnerable due to AIDS. Through GAS, Holt helps involve grandmothers with the community, giving them something to live for. Holt provides in-kind support in the way of food, materials and supplies, sometimes giving cash for school fees and medical care. As each grandmother reaches a point of stability within the group, she is able to start mentoring other grandmothers. India Above: In July, Holt President Gary Gamer visited many children and families being helped by Holt in Romania. 10 Nov/Dec 2005 Holt’s partner agency in Pune, Bharatiya Samaj Seva Kendra (BSSK), reports that after the massive floods of last July they are slowly rebuilding their outreach office in Chiplun, and it is func- country news tional again. Fear is still evident in the people who experienced the ordeal, however, and the damage to equipment is obvious. Major parts of computers were damaged or destroyed, and school materials including books, stationery supplies and furniture were ruined. In both Chiplun and Sangli, homes were affected of some of the families who offer foster support to children under Holt sponsorship. BSSK staff note that they “appreciate donors’ support. It will be required and be of great assistance.” Cambodia Holt recently completed a survey of children in orphanages in Cambodia for the U.S. Agency for International Development. The survey documented orphaned and displaced children living in private and government orphanages throughout Cambodia. The data will be used to develop a registry of children to assist the Cambodian government in establishing an effective child welfare infrastructure. Haiti Holt Fontana Village is growing larger, thanks in part to funding from Holt sponsors and donors. Founder Peter Fontana recently returned from a week at the village and reported that new construction is underway on adjacent land. Plans are to build two to four more houses and a playground for the children. As the village grows, it will need a bigger and better generator, Fontana said. ■ CATCH THE FUN! Oregon Midwest California Pennsylvania Give your child a trip to a Holt Camp For up-to-date locations, dates and cost, log onto www. holtinternational.org. Please contact Steve Kalb at (541) 687-2202 or stevek@holtinternational.org for more information. Staff Training July 16-22 • Oregon Camp July 23-27 • Midwest Camp July 30-Aug. 3 • California Aug. 6-10 • Pennsylvania Camp Aug. 13-17 Above: At Holt Fontana Village in Haiti, children in care pose with staff members in front of one of the Holtfunded houses, June 2005. www.holtinternational.org 11 Pooja & Avinash Born in India, November 10, 1997; October 7, 2002 Pooja gets along well with her peers and is described as independent, loving, friendly and organized. Her development is said to be on target for her age, she is learning English, and her language abilities may be better than those of her peers. Her right leg is a little thinner and shorter than her left leg, and she is said to be in good health. Avinash is an active, energetic 3-year-old boy described as curious, daring, alert and independent. He can be mischievous and is said to have a short attention span but a good memory. His speech is unclear, and he is receiving language stimulation and tongue exercises. His development is otherwise on target for his age, and he is reported to be in good health. Pooja watches out over her brother and Avinash listens to her instructions. Pooja Srivatsa Born in India, April 10, 2002 Friendly and expressive, Srivatsa is attached to all his foster family members and has great eye contact with everyone he meets. His physical development is on target for his age; he can walk independently, climb stairs and loves to push himself on his bicycle. He was diagnosed with post-meningitic hydrocephalus and ventriculitis and has a shunt that needs regular follow-up, but his doctor says he is doing well. Avinash children with special needs aren’t hard to adopt,they’re… Nathan Born in SE Asia, December 19, 2003 An active boy who gets along well with peers, Nathan likes music, has good interaction with his foster family, and is reported to be in good health. He has some developmental delays, most notably in his language development. He is observed to drool, which may indicate low tone in his oral motor region. He also has intersex disorder (ambiguous genitalia). Nathan is reported to have good comprehension and follows instructions. In June, he could run, climb stairs and throw a ball. He had surgery for his right eye ptosis and can now close his eye properly. In this section we introduce children who are waiting for adoptive families. They may be older, have medical conditions or be part of a sibling group. Each child is very special with much to offer the family who accepts one as their own son or daughter. The children shown here represent just a few of those who need parents. Because Holt’s website provides a more complete listing and can be updated daily, we ask you to view additional children at www.holtinternational.org/waitingchild. If you would like more information about a particular child, please contact Carrie Palmer in our Waiting Child Program. She would be happy to share more information with you. You can request a Waiting Child Packet either by calling the Waiting Child Program at (541)687-2202 or through our website. These descriptions of waiting children are based on information available to Holt from caregivers and medical personnel in the children’s country of origin. Holt cannot guarantee the accuracy of these descriptions or that the medical and psychological diagnoses of the children are correct or complete. Walker & Melissa Born in Haiti, Jan. 15, 2002, and June 11, 2005—Walker and Melissa came into care in June and had previously been with their birth family. They are both reported to be in good health. Walker is quiet and does not speak much for his age. His language development is delayed, but he understands commands and does what he is asked. He enjoys playing with Nathan 12 Nov/Dec 2005 Srivatsa Walker & Melissa See more children at www.holtinternational.org/waitingchild his peers and watching television and seems to have a good relationship with his caretaker. Melissa was born at home with no medical complications. On June 24 she was reported to weigh four pounds. Martin Born in China, April 6, 2001 Martin is described as a talkative boy who has good interaction with other children. He has been with his foster grandmother since he was 1 month old. He sometimes attends pre-school, although he would often rather stay at home. He is reported to be on target for his age physically and cognitively. In October 2001 he had surgery on his cleft lip and underwent surgery for cleft palate April 2003 and June 2005. Further surgery and probably speech therapy will be necessary. Roui Born in Philippines, Sept. 11, 1998 Adorable Roui is an active, inquisitive boy who was brought into care because his mother has Huntington's Disease and could no longer care for him. He is attached to his house family and plays well with his peers. Roui began school in June and is doing well. He has asthma and was diagnosed with primary complex; he does not have tuberculosis and his asthma does not stop him from being active. At 3 his development was behind; he had difficulty speaking and understanding instructions and was easily distracted. He has since shown great improvement. Roui can speak English well and is described as talkative. Joy Born in Haiti, Nov. 2, 1997 Joy is a gregarious girl who has a good sense of humor and likes to tell jokes. She was brought into care in 1998 and was treated for malaria shortly afterwards. Her first test for syphilis was positive, but recent lab tests Roui Martin were negative for syphilis. Her tuberculosis skin test was positive but a June 2005 xray was negative. She is otherwise healthy and active and likes to play with the other girls in her group home. She likes school, although she can get distracted while doing her homework. Trushna Born in India, May 22, 2003 Trushna loves being held and cuddled by her caregivers and interacting with other children. Her poor vision is due to macular dystrophy and nystagmus. She now wears glasses, can see objects nearby and reaches for things held in front of her. Her development is delayed; she receives special stimulation and is showing good progress. She can say a few words, understands what is said to her, and is energetic walking around the room exploring and climbing onto the windowsill. Eduardo Born in Guatemala, March 17, 1999 Eduardo has “big energy” and enjoys activities where he can move around and be active. He has good communication skills, and his cognitive and gross motor development are said to be on target for his age. His fine motor skills are still developing. His teachers say he is easily distracted and does not always follow instructions. He came into care in December 2001 after a history of physical abuse in his birth family. When he gets individual attention he readily cooperates and seems to feel included and happy. Tarani Born in India, December 6, 2004 Beautiful Tarani likes to be carried by her foster mother and interacts well with her foster sisters. At 9 months she could stand with support, crawl, and feed herself biscuits. She vocalizes sounds, smiles responsively, and makes good eye contact. She had surgery to correct her imperforate anus and rectovestibule fistula, has a right ear deformity, facial nerve palsy on the right side, scoliosis, crossed renal ectopia and an atrial septal defect (ASD) with left to right shunt. Despite her rough start she is reported to be doing well in foster care. Trushna Oregon Waiting Child In Oregon many children in state foster care are waiting for adoptive homes. Agencies reduce fees for the adoption of a child in state care, and financial assistance may be available. To learn more, call the Special Needs Adoption Coalition at The Boys and Girls Aid Society at (877)932-2734 x 2392, or DHS at 1(800)3310503. Also visit www.boysandgirlsaid.org and www.nwae.org for information and photos of waiting children. Singles and couples are encouraged to call. Jared and Kelton, ages 8 and 3 Brothers Jared and Kelton are eager to live together again. Both boys are outgoing and social and would do well in a family that is active and involved. Jared does well academically, always completes his homework and enjoys reading. He plays well with younger kids, and his foster Mom says he is protective of younger children and infants. With peers he can be an instigator and will lie to stir things up. He takes medications for ADHD and emotional problems and is behind socially but with a skilled family is learning to behave more appropriately. He suffers from allergies and uses an inhaler when needed. Kelton likes attention and enjoys adult and child activities. Adorable but stubborn, he will let you know when he wants something or is upset. He receives early intervention services to address speech and motor delays. His motor skills are improving slowly, and he has made significant improvement in language skills. He has ongoing dental issues, is susceptible to flu and colds and currently has tubes in his ears due to multiple ear infections. Because of allergies, he would do best in a home with no pets. What these boys need most is a family who understands how early neglect can affect a child’s sense of well being, safety and development. Once assured they are safe and together, Jared and Kelton will be a joy to parent. Eduardo Joy Tarani www.holtinternational.org 13 inspiration Prayer that God Will Bless Our Home with a Child “If we ask anything according to His will, He heareth us.’” Used with permission of Life-Study Fellowship, Noroton, Conn. Above: Jenny Lu Shireman cuddles with her son, Benji, adopted from Thailand. Right: Mia and baby Ellie, both from China, are the daughters of Ken and Shelley DeVault. 14 Nov/Dec 2005 (1 John 5: 14) inspiration Dear Heavenly Father, be very close to me as I kneel to you in this quiet hour—to pray for one of the most sacred and deepest desires of my heart. D Within this house, dear Father, we have known both sorrow and joy, both loneliness and love. But there has been lacking that which should make our life and love complete—a child in our home. For we long with aching hearts for a dear, new life to crown our love. We long for the sound of children’s laughter and the pattering of little feet. Left: Julie Soohoo, China, shown here on Halloween 2003, is the daughter of Lynda and Sheldon Soohoo. Below: Sam, 7, and Emma Reposa, 2, both adopted from Korea, are the children of Wayne and Holly Reposa. Yes, Father, we know we need something on which our loves and our hopes may center—something that shall be part of both of us—something that shall be the living witness of our love. We remember, dear Father, how within every man and woman something new is born when you bless their home with a new life. We remember what a wonderful miracle is the birth of a child. And I am silent as I pray that this miracle may come to pass, hallowed Father. For with the coming of every child, again Christ is born in Bethlehem—and Bethlehem comes to our hearts. Amen * Prayer edited for adoptive families www.holtinternational.org 15 sponsorship Gemstones When she left China with her adopted baby, Pame Chow felt haunted by memories of children at the orphanage. Later, she and her daughter chose to support a child through Holt’s sponsorship program—keeping alive a vital link to children still in need of permanent, loving families. by Pame Chow Eugene, Ore. Above: Jade Chow stands beside a wall at the Bertha Holt Elementary School in Eugene, Oregon, next to a tile she created of a penguin in sunlight. Inset: Pame Chow holds Jade on the day she received her in China. Center: Jade as a baby in China. China is a huge country. I didn’t realize how many children were in need of help and care until I went there to get my baby. The moment I arrived at the orphanage to pick up my daughter, Jade, will forever be etched in my heart. At the same time I couldn’t help but wonder how all the children waiting there got food, medicine, and most importantly—hugged and loved. I was leaving with Jade but a piece of me felt like I was leaving behind children that needed me. Jade grew up fast. The first years just flew by. I was never able to shake the feeling of knowing what I had felt in my heart that December 25 in 1994 seeing my baby for the first time and knowing that other babies just like her were still waiting for a family. An opportunity came for me to begin working at Holt International about two years ago. Talk about a perfect match. Holt had the same values and beliefs that I had—“every child deserves a loving family.” 16 Nov/Dec 2005 After working at Holt, I learned there is a way of taking care of children before they have families—sponsorship. I began talking to Jade about sponsorship. I told her we could sponsor a child before the child came home to a family. At first she didn’t understand what sponsoring was all about so we looked at the Holt website, read about sponsorship and talked about what it would mean to sponsor a child. Time slipped by, but I noticed we both kept going back periodically to the subject of sponsorship. In November 2004 I said that with Thanksgiving coming up, it would be a great time for us to give thanks by sponsoring a child. Jade came with me to work one day, and together we picked out a child from China to sponsor. I decided Jade should be part of the process of setting up our sponsorship and really understanding the meaning and how everything worked to care for these children until they had families. sponsorship As Jade and I looked at photos, I noticed she kept going back to the same child. Finally in her tiny voice she said, “Mom, she’s the one. I think she looks like me at that age.” I couldn’t have agreed more. We set up our paperwork with Sharon in sponsorship. She gave us a photo and report on our child. Jade let me look at her photo, but she hung onto it herself. We showed everyone the photo and asked someone in the China program to help us correctly pronounce the name of our sponsored child. That evening, Jade told her grandparents and aunt all about our sponsored child. When I went to her room to say goodnight, I noticed that she put the photo on her wall. I reminded her that we could love our sponsored child from afar, but in the end we really wanted her to have a family. Jade agreed but still asked if she could give her an English name because the Chinese one was so hard to pronounce. “Of course,” I told her, “but just remember we want her to have a family.” She came into my room a short time later and said, “I have it, we can call her Ruby. This way she is a stone, just like me.” It took me a couple of seconds to get her meaning. “Oh, you mean you both are gemstones.” Jade nodded her head yes. I told Jade that when Ruby gets a family to come home to, we could sponsor another child and keep the process going. There are so many children who need help until then. I went to sleep that night knowing that my daughter understood what it meant to help children who are waiting for their permanent family. But even more, I knew that I could still help the children that were left behind when I departed the orphanage with my own adopted daughter wrapped tightly in my arms. It’s easy for all of us to get busy in everyday life. But just stop a moment and think about who takes care of these children before we find them a home. All children are gemstones. When you polish and take care of a stone it shines. Children who are waiting for families can only shine if we help support them. ■ Letters Dear Holt Sponsorship Department— Our daughter, Guo Li Shou, was sponsored by Holt International as a foster child at the Zhanjiang Social Welfare Institute in Guangdong province for 10 months in 2002. Each day with our daughter—now Rebecca— brings us to a new understanding of the unfathomable gift we received from the People’s Republic of China in May 2002. Rebecca is a beautiful, bright and sensitive child. We are thankful every day for the opportunity we have to be her parents. We believe that Holt’s sponsorship and the kindness and care her foster mother furnished her with are the foundation of all that we know and love about her. Because of your sponsorship Rebecca received the gift of being cared for in a Chinese home by a family who clearly loved her and cared for her as their own. She also received a booklet with development reports and pictures of her throughout her 10 months in care—a most precious and unusual thing for a Chinese adoptee. We received a great deal more detail about her daily life, development, needs and special talents than anyone else we know. The value of this sponsorship is underscored for us because of the relationship we have with eight other girls adopted that day from the same orphanage who did not have the privilege Rebecca had of being raised in a home. All the girls are within six weeks of each other in age. At age 13 months, Rebecca was the youngest. She was walking and talking. She also had parlor tricks and ate with gusto. Many of the other girls still behaved like infants, were not used to solid food and appeared younger. Rebecca Campeau was adopted from China in 2002. Rebecca grieved for her foster family for months afterwards and at times I questioned whether foster care was ideal for her. These days, with neither of us suffering from sleep deprivation, I’m certain she had double luck. Today she is a happy, healthy 4 year old. She loves to sing and dance and is learning to play piano and violin. Rebecca loves languages—she is learning Mandarin and French. She enjoys her large extended family. In spite of her three years as a Canadian, she still prefers Chinese food. She will polish off a plate of squid but will not touch a chicken nugget. Thank you, Holt and the three sponsors who made this possible for our family. Please know that we don’t take a single minute with her for granted. —Jen Campeau/Canada www.holtinternational.org 17 from the family Fifty-Two Pounds of Fierce From the first days they were getting to know their son in Thailand, this couple could see that despite cerebral palsy, he would be far more than they expected. By Pamela Vandivort— Tucson, Ariz. When my husband, Andrew, and I first started the adoption process, I’d daydream of our “someday daughter” (“An infant girl, please” was the request I rehearsed). I looked forward to craft projects, frilly clothes and dolls. Thank God for unmet expectations! Above: Stephen Vandivort at age 7, enjoying the pool. One day when an issue of the Holt International magazine arrived, I flipped to the Waiting Children section and saw our son. The recognition was immediate—a mother knows her child. Andrew concurred, and we began the process of becoming three. The wait for him was hard. Okay, it was excruciating. I used that time wisely, though; I built up a whole new set of expectations. I imagined a “bookish” boy with a shy smile and a quiet demeanor. Well, what else could I expect from a 3 year old with cerebral palsy? When we went to Thailand to get Stephen, the social workers took our group to a mall. Andrew and I were discussing which restaurant to choose when 18 Nov/Dec 2005 we suddenly realized that Stephen was no longer with us. We had our first parental “yikes!” We found him patiently standing in line at KFC. Leadership comes naturally to him. Stephen had demonstrated so much strength and determination by the time we were on our return flight from Thailand, Andrew was saying “We’ve got a little Thai tiger!” Last summer, we went to a family camp. Stephen’s class was asked to choose an activity for the next day. Stephen was the only one who chose fishing. All the others chose swimming. This didn’t bother Stephen, but I “mothered” him about it anyway: “I’ll put your swimsuit in your backpack just in case you change your mind.” He rolled his eyes (they perfect that around age 9) and reminded me that he was going fishing. Later that day, we found Stephen surrounded by classmates, getting pats on the back and high fives. Turns out he’d convinced the entire class to go fishing. One of the boys had caught Big Jake, the elu- from the family sive, biggest fish in the pond, about which many legends are told. A hero’s hoopla was bestowed upon the catcher, and the classmates concluded, “This moment was made possible by Stephen.” At the conclusion of Stephen’s second grade year, the PE teacher gave him the “Outstanding Athlete” award. “This kid never says ‘I can’t,’” he explained. “What the ablebodied kids complain about and are afraid to try, Stephen takes as a welcomed challenge—and goes after it with all he’s got.” In Thailand, Stephen entertained our group with a variety of humorous antics. “We’ll be seeing your son on the Comedy Channel some day,” remarked one of the parents. During Stephen’s first grade year, he announced that he was “a really true actual Ninja.” He grew his hair long enough to tie into a pony tail, filled his vocabulary with martial arts terminology and practiced sneaking up on (and scaring the daylights out of) me. I shouldn’t have been surprised when one day as I was picking him up from school I received all kinds of accolades about “the audition.” During sharing time, Stephen had convinced his classmates that he was going to L.A. to audition for a role as Jackie Chan’s sidekick. We noticed in Thailand that Stephen appreciates order and accuracy. We’d brought along a sizable fleet of Hot Wheels, which he immediately set about organizing in our hotel room. He cast away the surreal models and grouped the rest according to size, color and function. About 18 months after we came home, I responded to Nathan’s (our second son—a “biological surprise”) screams of hunger with “Mommy-the-Cow is coming!” “Mommy,” said Stephen “You is not a cow!” Overcome with the sweetness of this statement, I gazed at him with a tender grin. “Nope”, he continued, “You is more like a yak: a big cow with lots of hairs!” While I praised him for his proficiency in zoology, I made a mental note to get my hair cut and styled. From his foster parents, we learned that Stephen loves to sing. His appreciation for music expanded to include a desire to play an instrument. “But there are no one-handed instruments” I bemoaned at a family gathering. “Not true!” exclaimed our brother, Mike, who is a music pastor. Mike plays the trombone and gave one to Stephen. The instrument is taller than he is, but our son is mastering it, and even got asked to play in a trio. Stephen is 10 years old now. We describe him as “52 pounds of fierce!” Besides music, football is his greatest passion. Football! He has played several seasons of YMCA Flag and earned the nickname “Elvis Hips” for his wiggly maneuvers into the end zone. He begins more statements with “when” than with “if,” such as “When I get drafted into the NFL...” Where most see a Mowgli look-alike (a character from Rudyard Kipling‘s The Jungle Book), Stephen sees a linebacker. Has he met our expectations? Oh, thank the good Lord, no! Have I missed out on anything? Crafts? Stephen and I had so much fun building a football goal post out of PVC pipes. His smile was wider than the goal as we cemented it into the back yard. Frilly clothes? You should see how Stephen’s face lights up at a display of football jerseys. Dolls? Stephen and his buddies have built elaborate obstacle courses for their GI Joes all over our yard. Top: Stephen, 18 months, in Thailand. Middle and bottom: Stephen with his brother, Nathan. Leadership. Strength. Determination. Humor. Accuracy. Musical talent. Football. I didn’t expect any of these things, but they are just some of the descriptive words that fit our son. In my next article, I’ll discuss his intelligence, tenderness, generosity, integrity, resilience, loyalty... ■ www.holtinternational.org 19 from the family Our God-like Capacity to LOVE There is no such thing as random when it comes to adopting a child, says this adoptive mother. By Erin McQuerreyWolf– Stockton, Calif. Top right: Ryan and Rebecca on the porch. Above: The Wolf family–Erin, Rebecca, Ryan and John. Growing up, I assumed I would marry and have children at some future time, should I want to. I was shocked out of my assumption when I was 25. My doctor told me I’d probably never be able to have children, at least without major surgery. For many couples, this sort of news is followed by a journey involving fertility doctors, drugs, and sometimes thousands of dollars. The journey always involves heartbreak, and in many cases, failure to conceive. From this pain is born the idea of adoption. I knew before I married that I might not be able to have my family biologically, even though I’d had the surgery. My husband was fine with that. For some couples, though, it is a “deal breaker.” John and I managed to have our daughter, Rebecca, against all odds. But after Rebecca, I had several miscarriages, and we decided to exercise the adoption option. John was afraid he would never be able to love a baby that wasn’t his own flesh and blood. For that matter, he couldn’t imagine loving any other child as much as our first. Most couples probably grapple with this thought. We tell other couples who have asked us about this, “It is astounding, our God-like capacity to love. I think it is one of the ways in which we are most like Him.” I knew our second child was out there, and the second part of our journey began. Paperwork, fingerprints, interviews, waiting, more paperwork, INS, Korean social services, Holt International Children’s Services, more waiting, more interviews…. 20 Nov/Dec 2005 And then it came—the phone call, and for us a picture followed by the message, “We have a baby for you.” There was also a question, “Do you want this child?” In our minds, this child had been ours for months, although we didn’t know if he’d even been born. Our hearts were already wrapped around him—and that is where he had been growing, in our hearts instead of my tummy. Halfway around the world, the perfect baby was waiting to join our family. The Holt staff worker told us the selection was random, that his folder came to the top of the pile at the same time as ours. But all adoptive parents know there is nothing random about it. God chooses so carefully the perfect child for you, regardless of where he or she grows. This is the mysterious blessing of adoption. The story of Moses tells us that when his mother could no longer hide him, she made for him an ark of bulrushes and laid him in the reeds by the river’s bank. When Pharaoh’s daughter came to wash herself in the river and saw the ark, she sent her maid to fetch it. When she opened it, she saw the child, and the baby wept. The child grew and the maid took him to Pharaoh’s daughter, and he became her son. And she called him Moses, because she drew him out of the water. Moses sounds like the Hebrew word for “pull out.” What a blessing it is to reach into the river of children who need families, and pull one out. ■ from the family Holt’s First China Tour A group of young China adoptees revisit the land of their birth—and take along parents and grandparents. As part of our commitment to children that continues after adoption placement, Holt International pioneered Heritage Tours in the 1970s with escorted trips to Korea. On these tours adoptees revisited places relevant to their cultural heritage and adoption story. original homeland. Among the 36 travelers in this group were 16 children, 15 who were adopted from China and one who was an enthusiastic supporter of his sister’s trip. This particular tour was arranged for families with children adopted from Guangxi province. Since that time, Holt has also facilitated such trips to India, Vietnam, the Philippines, and now to China. We now offer two types of Heritage Tours—the Family Tours, which are for adoptees and their adoptive families; and the Motherland Tours, intended for adult adoptees and spouses of adult adoptees only. Holt staff from both the United States and China served as escorts throughout the tour. We began in Beijing with sightseeing at several famous tourist sites such as the Great Wall and the Forbidden City, visited a local preschool, a private children’s cultural academy, and the historic Beijing “hutong” district, where everyone helped make traditional Chinese dumplings in the home of a local family. But the highlight of the Beijing visit was a special welcome ceremony hosted by the director and staff of the CCAA, and a tour of their office where children are matched with their forever families. We were honored to host our first Family Tour to China last June. Twelve families took part in this historic journey to revisit their adopted children’s Family Tours We hope to organize at least one Family Tour to China every year and plans are already underway for our 2006 tour. • Each tour will be province specific. • Participants must be at least 8 years old at the time of travel. • All trips include sightseeing, special visits, and group discussions of topics relevant to the children’s adoption story. Contact Lisle Veach, China Team, at lislev@holtinternational.org After spending a few days in Beijing, we flew to Nanning, the capital of Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region. Families visited their children’s orphanages, foster parents, and finding sites, and local residents invited them to visit their homes. Numerous exhilarating reunions took place with orphanage caretakers and foster families. At Mother’s Love Orphanage, children gave the visiting adoptees special handmade gifts. And at Nanning Social Welfare Institute, the adoptees left their handprints and names in colorful cement tiles, an enduring impression that will be waiting there for them to see if they return in later years. By Lisle Veach— International Projects, China Program Above: Mareyuna Lukasak accomplishes one of her goals in going to China— playing her violin atop the Great Wall. Left: The young tour members pose at Tiananmen Square. Families also practiced Tai Chi in the park and toured a public elementary school. Provincial government officials who oversee adoption joined the families for a special banquet. After leaving Nanning, we visited other historic and scenic places such as Yangshuo, the Li River, mountainous Guilin, Suzhou and the bustling, modern city of Shanghai. Families told us the experience was “life-changing,” “truly amazing” and “a great joy and blessing physically, socially and spiritually.” ■ www.holtinternational.org 21 from the family China Tour A grandmother accompanies her daughter and adopted granddaughter on the first Holt Family Tour to China— and gets a warm welcome. by Evonne Young Show Low, Ariz. Above: Evonne Young. Top center: Temple of Heaven in Beijing. Right: Emily Young meets a toddler at the Guilin Orphanage, leaves her handprints in green concrete, and selects her food for lunch in the orphanage dining hall. When Holt International announced the first China Heritage Tour, my daughter, Sandy, was elated. She had been planning a trip back to China ever since we traveled there together to receive my granddaughter Emily, then known as Wang Wen Wen, as a 20-month-old toddler. But at 8 years old, Emily had reservations about going to China, and so did I. My reservation was due to limited physical condition; Emily’s hesitation was not entirely clear to us. She worried that if the plane crashed over the ocean, Grandma couldn’t swim that well. She confirmed there would be someone to come get her in China if something happened to her mom and me. A large banner stretched across the balcony at the Majestic Hotel in Nanning. Staff lined up at the door and handed an embroidered friendship ball to each person. For each adopted girl, a small, framed photo of her waited in her room. China adoption officials treated us royally. During dinners, the kitchen and dining staff watched families from doorways and behind glass doors, happy when the girls ate traditional Chinese food with enjoyment. Nov/Dec 2005 The welcome we received everywhere confirmed how dear these children are to the Chinese people. They were delighted to have the girls return and asked if other parents in America wanted to bring their girls back for a visit. When we arrived in San Francisco the other girls came running over to introduce themselves. They all started playing “you’re it” within minutes—and the fun began. The first stay at the Majestic was still fresh in everyone’s mind, and the return with beautiful, selfconfident daughters felt rewarding. In the evening, families met in the corridor at the elevators for pizza and told stories of the first time they met there to prepare adoption papers. 22 Most people in China stopped to observe the girls interact with their families. We heard comments of how tall, healthy and happy they were. Meeting the foster family was a high priority to all of us. We carried a few photos of Emily with her “Nai Nai” and the young son she played with for the 15 months she was in their home. When we arrived at the Guilin Orphanage, Sandy recognized the foster family sitting at an outside table. from the family Emily looks at photos of her taken in China as a foster child, with members of her foster family. Also shown are her mother, Sandy, and her foster mother, who she knew affectionately as ”Nai Nai,“ which means ”grandma.“ At bottom, the Deputy Director of the Guilin Social Welfare Institute holds out the photographs for Emily, her mother and foster mother. They had brought all the photos we sent and some of Emily learning to walk. Her Nai Nai couldn’t stop hugging, holding, laughing and touching Emily. After we left the orphanage, we drove to the foster family’s home to offer them a gift of money, in addition to the scrapbook we had given them earlier. The grandpa had been showing the scrapbook to neighbors and was just coming from the home of one. He invited us to their home for a visit. Neighbors came out as we walked with him. Some called out “Wen Wen,” Emily’s Chinese name. The neighbors said she looked the same; they touched her, admired her long hair and told more stories of when she was a baby. The grandpa, daughter-in-law and two grandsons were also there. They gave Emily photos, a beautiful pink dress, money in a red envelope, apples and boiled eggs dyed red. This encounter was worth more than words can express. That night Emily lay in bed and talked about her foster family with a reality she hadn’t known before. She named all her grandparents and included her Nai Nai and Ye Ye Yang. When their oldest son came home for a visit, they told us, Emily stood in the doorway, arms and legs extended, and said, “You can’t come in, this is my grandma’s house.” We were happy to confirm our suspicions that we weren’t the only ones who had spoiled this child. Next we visited toddlers in the Guilin Orphanage. One girl wrapped her arms around Emily, quickly winning her heart. Emily thought the baby wanted her for a big sister. We assured her all the babies would get a family, and she seemed to understand. All the photos and stories we’ve told to give her some roots in China could never have affected her life as this trip to her native country has done. Now Emily will have her own understanding and know she was and is well loved in China. The staffs of Holt International and the China Tour Service made traveling worry free. Most of us didn’t use the itinerary but followed their directions to 14 fun-filled days. Thank you, Holt, for the follow-up care you are giving these children from China. ■ www.holtinternational.org 23 family tree , China—Dumont, N.J. Zoe, 9, and Thea Bliss, 5½ Mei Mei, 3, Nikki, 6, and Alan Fox, 3, all from China—Chippewa Falls, Wisc. Sam, 7, and Emma Reposa, 2, Korea—Eugene, Ore. Kaitlyn, 5, and Kristin Renfer, 7, China—Ferndale, Calif. 24 Nov/Dec 2005 Luke, 4, and Lila Mortensen, 2, Korea—Quakertown, N.J. Ankita Shetler, 3, India—Bolivar, Ohio. family tree Send your photos to Family Tree! Mail original color prints to: Holt International magazine Family Tree P.O. Box 2880 Eugene, OR 97402 alicee@holtinternational.org Please send glossy photographic prints or e-mail high resolution digital images. We cannot use studio photos or prints from digital files. Aliya Salter, 18 months, China—Redding, Calif. Malachi, 4, Mongolia; and Simeon Fyksen, 3, China—Spencer, Wisc. Anthony, 10, and Auston Balletto, 9, Korea—Brick, N.J. Adrianne Raphalian, Korea, with husband Brian and son Bennett, 7 months—Fair Haven, N.J. Matthew, 2, and Thomas Notaro, 4, Korea—Eatontown, N.J. his new bride, Jiseon, at Adam Zeihan, Korea, with —Hollywood, Md. their traditional wedding Adam Gubbels, 4, Korea—Council Bluffs, Iowa. www.holtinternational.org 25 adopting Family Ambassadors So many children still need families. Who better to spread the word about the challenges and fulfillment of international adoption than the parents of adopted children? by Susie Doig, MSW Intake Social Worker and Mongolia Program Manager Tammy and Rick Garlitz with daughters Jenna, 16 months, and Myla, 5. Families who adopt internationally soon become experienced at answering questions from friends, relatives and curious strangers about how their child joined their family. Some questions come from people who have considered international adoption but have not yet taken the leap of faith required to start the process. Although much information on international adoption is available via the Internet, in libraries and at bookstores, reading about adoption does not compare to the energizing experience of speaking with someone who has successfully completed the process. At a recent meeting for families exploring the idea of international adoption, one couple shared about adopting twice from China. Rick and Tammy Garlitz told what it was like to complete the process, from compiling paperwork to waiting to hear about a child match. While they spoke, daughters Myla and Jenna sat by their side coloring pictures and snacking on crackers. Rick described the elation they felt each time a Federal Express envelope arrived with their daughter’s photo. He compared the moment to childbirth. The couple characterized their trip to China as life changing and told a story about being approached in a park by local Chinese who were curious about their group of Westerners with Chinese babies. Rick and Tammy were open about the joys and challenges of bonding, and how it was different for each of them with each of their children. While Rick and Tammy shared their story, they held their girls, helped them with their snacks, and kept a steady supply of paper, crayons, and toys within reach. 26 Nov/Dec 2005 When the opportunity came to ask questions, the prospective adoptive parents queried the family about issues they might have felt uncomfortable asking Holt staff. Seeing Rick and Tammy interact with Myla and Jenna made international adoption real for those attending the meeting in a way that neither I nor the other social worker present could. During the course of the question and answer period, Rick spoke of his initial resistance to the idea of international adoption and then described the moment when everything changed for him. One day when walking through the airport, he saw a Caucasian man walking by with his two Asian daughters. The “rightness” of the situation struck him, he said, making him realize that he, too, could love a child not born to him. Seeing another adoptive parent in the act of parenting gave him the conviction and determination to begin the process with Tammy. The Garlitz family is a perfect example of why adoptive families are the most effective spokespersons for international adoption. The love and belonging observable between parents and their adopted children is often what inspires and motivates others to consider adoption themselves. Many Holt adoptive parents have embraced the role of ambassadors for international adoption and shared their story with others. Because of their willingness to talk about their experience, other families have stepped forward to become parents to homeless children around the world. On behalf of all those children now united with families, thank you. ■ adopting Fr Spread the Joy of Adoption From Your �� Y ��� � our ��� ... Maybe you know someone at your church or place of worship who is interested in adopting a child internationally... or a friend has been asking about your experience with Holt. We’ve developed tools that can help you explain the process of adoption. �� ���� ������ From Your Heart To Your Ho me • Our kit includes a booklet with step-by-step guidelines to help you set up a meeting in your home, church or other location. From Your Heart To Your Ho me Children ov erseas are waiting to belong and be loved in families of their own. Perhaps God is lead ing you to consider m aking one of them you r own daughter o r son. Children ov erseas are waiting to belong and be loved in families of their own. Perhaps God is lead ing you to consider m aking one of them you r own daughter o r son. Holt Intern ational, a Christian ba sed agency with 50 yea rs of experi ence, has placed thou sands of ch ildren with adoptive fa milies in th e United States. • It also includes flyers you can personalize with your name and contact information, and a poster to announce a meeting time. Holt Intern ational, a Christian ba sed agency with 50 yea rs of experi ence, has placed thou sands of ch ildren with adoptive fa milies in th e United States. For informa tion on inte rnational adoption… What Do You Get? For informa tion on inte rnational adoption… Faith is th e substanc e of things the convict hoped for, ion of thin gs not yet seen. ~Hebrews 11:1 • A display holding brochures can be hung on a bulletin board. ������� ��� ���������������� Faith is th e substanc e of things the convict hoped for, ion of thin gs not yet seen. ~Hebrews 11:1 ������� ��� ���������������� • Brochures offer general information about Holt, fees, and time frames for the adoption process, and can be used with or without our display. To Receive a Kit For more information or to request a kit, please contact: Todd Kwapisz Family Recruitment Coordinator (503) 244-2440 Ext. 102 toddk@holtinternational.org www.holtinternational.org 27 adoptees today Commitment A Korean adoptee with three adopted siblings praises and thanks her parents for their selfless dedication—a praise that she extends to all adoptive parents. By Victoria Warden-Bisbikis Chicago, Ill. This article is about my parents, Marian and Charles Warden of Omaha, Nebraska. They decided more than 30 years ago to adopt children from Korea after seeing a story on TV about the lives of Harry and Bertha Holt. They adopted four children, none of us of natural relation, but all of us desperately needing a loving family and a caring environment. Top: Victoria hugs her dog, Wrigley. Center: Victoria and her husband, Steve Bisbikis, on their wedding day. 28 Nov/Dec 2005 my circumstances will never get to experience. We were not spoiled, however. We were taught how to work and achieve what we wanted, and the vast difference between needing and wanting, something that I, a baby abandoned on the streets of Korea at 1 week old, should truly understand. I was the second adoptee and was 4 months old when I made the trip from Seoul, Korea, to Omaha. I was sick often as an infant, and once while I was hospitalized with severe pneumonia, the physician on my case told them, “You should send her back.” Instead, my parents found a different physician and the best medical care they could offer me. I learned from watching my parents why I should volunteer my time and God-given gifts to make a difference in someone else’s life, for no other reason than because I can. My parents have never asked for anything from me or any of my siblings, other than for us to use their endless examples of how to give back to this world, the way they gave themselves to us. Thirty-two years later I live in Chicago and earn a decent living. I married in October 2004. My parents devoted their lives to us, their children. My childhood memories are nothing but happy. I can visualize Holt picnics, softball games, soccer practice, swimming lessons, art lessons, horse camp, and so many other things that most children born under They loved us unconditionally through our difficult teenage years and other trying times, and I am certain it has never been easy. Nothing can fully prepare someone for how adopting children truly changes your life. Yet up to this very day, my parents have never wavered in their commitment to their children. adoptees today Far left: Victoria with her father, Charles Warden. Left: Victoria and her brother Doug with their mother, Marian Warden. There is no way to ever thank them enough for what they have done other than for me to follow in their footsteps and learn from their success. I want them to know how much I love and appreciate them. Every day when I look around at the life I have—a wonderful husband, a successful career, and more basic needs such as food and shelter, a positive self-esteem, confidence in my abilities—I thank God for the existence of people like them in this world. What makes my parents different from every one else? A lot of things, but yet they are not so much unlike those of you reading this article. All families who decide to adopt children are participating in the most selfless act of kindness that human beings can choose. Offering the love, time, resources and effort to give an orphaned child a chance at a happy life is an immeasurable act of love. This article is for my parents, yes, but it is also for all the other adoptive parents out there, you who have made the same choice—to give a lifetime commitment to someone, someone like me. Thank you. ■ Suffering in Silence Excerpts from the memoir of Mark Owen, who writes about his struggles for self-acceptance as a Korean adoptee in a Caucasian world. Mark Owen Abandoned by his biological family on the police office steps in Tae Gu when he was 2 years old, Mark Owen (then Lee, Yong-yul) was adopted through Holt by a family in Washington State. In his new memoir, Suffering in Silence, Owen writes: “I should have felt an overwhelming sense of peace and gratitude for being rescued from a world that abandoned me. Instead, I felt lonely, lost and confused. My adoption was a continual reminder to me that I did not belong. I would sit in my room for hours dreaming of just fitting in and being normal. What is normal? Is it the color of your skin? The shape of your eyes? The bridge of your nose? The sounds accenting the language in which we speak? “I took on American characteristics trying to develop friendships throughout life with mostly Americans. Why? Because I lived under the warped reality that the entire Korean culture abandoned me because I was not good enough. Rather than being rejected again, I worked hard to distance myself from other Asians throughout most of my life so that I could be part of my new culture and claim ownership in my new family. The comfort I had by living the facade that I was exactly the same as my new family would work until I looked in a mirror and saw a picture of myself. I hated pictures of me.” A high achiever as a child and young man, Owen tells about years of substance abuse and white collar crime. Still in recovery, he writes: “In the hours that I felt the most alone and rejected by everyone in the recovery process, I was forced to do the only thing that I had left. I cried for help from the same God that I felt abandoned me as a small child. Streams of endless tears would flow down my face as I fell to my hands and knees, curled up in a ball on the floor, begging God to give me strength and take away my pain. “There were days I no longer wanted to continue, the emotional pain was too overbearing. But I persevered. I talked to God. I talked to my psychologist. I talked to my counselor. I talked to my housemates. I talked with my sponsor. I talked with my family. I continued with my 12-step recovery program. I trudged forward believing in a greater cause, a greater good. “It’s only now in the recovery process that I can look back and see the significance of each situation, each person and each event that was so masterfully placed in my life to bring me back to experience the feelings of gratitude, caring, friendship, respect, honor trust and love for the first time without the scathed blinders I was wearing. “I pray for those of you that I resented for so long for being the mirror of myself that reflected the hate-filled person I was forced to live. I pray that you find the healing from your trauma that only God can provide. The safety and comfort of protective hands that is waiting to return you like me back to your age of innocence.” –by Mark Owen, Yakima, Wash.; www.markleeowen.com www.holtinternational.org 29 calendar Arkansas neighborhoodCALENDAR Dec. 10, 2005—place TBA Open House for all Holt families, preceded by an initial meeting for prospective adoptive parents. 2–5 p.m. Contact to RSVP by Dec. 3: Lynn Sims (501) 568-2827 California Jan. 29, 2006—St. Mary’s Cathedral, San Francisco Silk Bag Luncheon to benefit homeless children in Thailand. Contact: Monica Wilton at (800) 451-0732 or monicaw@ holtinternational.org Aug. 6–10, 2006—Dobbins Holt Camp for adoptees 9 to 16 years old. Contact: Steve Kalb at (541) 687-2202 or stevek@holtinternational.org Nebraska Feb. 25, 2006—Omaha Benefit Auction for children in India. To donate or volunteer contact Tracy Frerichs at (402) 614-6002 or frerichsgreg@yahoo.com. July 30–Aug. 3, 2006—Ashland Holt Camp for adoptees 9 to 16 years old. Contact: Steve Kalb at (541) 687-2202 or stevek@holtinternational.org 5th Nativeland Visit Program July 2006 Thai Department of Social Welfare (DSDW) If interested, contact DSDW right away to see if slots are still available. New Jersey Nov. 1, 2005 through mid-Feb. 2006—Garden State Discovery Museum, Cherry Hill Song of Korea Traveling Exhibit. For more information (856) 424-1233 or www.discoverymuseum.com. April 1, 2006—place TBA New Jersey Annual Dinner. Save the Date. Details to follow. Oregon July 16–22, 2006—Eugene Staff Training for Holt camp counselors. Contact: Steve Kalb at (541) 687-2202 or stevek@holtinternational.org July 23–27, 2006—Corbett Holt Camp for adoptees 9 to Child Adoption Center Bureau of Anti-Trafficking in Women and Children 255 Rajvithi Road Bangkok 10400 Fax: (662) 354-7511 and (662) 354-7509 adoption@loxinfo.co.th 16 years old. Contact: Steve Kalb at (541) 687-2202 or stevek@holtinternational.org Pennsylvania Aug. 13–17, 2006—Starlight Holt Camp for adoptees 9 to 16 years old. Contact: Steve Kalb at (541) 687-2202 or stevek@holtinternational.org �������������������������������������� ������������������������������ �������������������� ����������������������������� ������������ �������������������������������������������������������������� ��������������� ����������������������������������������� ��������������������������������������������� ������������������������� ����������������������������������� ������������������������������������������������� �������������������������������� 30 Nov/Dec 2005 Holt history Ilsan: A Haven of Hope Through the years Holt’s Ilsan Center in Korea has provided a sanctuary for children. Originally designed to be a temporary home for hundreds of children soon to be bound for adoptive families in other countries, the purpose of Ilsan began to change almost as soon as Harry Holt completed the original construction in the early 1960s. T row. The bodies of both Harry and Bertha Holt were brought to the Wanda Chapel on the way to their final resting places above the children’s residences. By John Aeby, Director of Communications Over the years hundreds, perhaps thousands, of children have played and laughed, struggled At that time the Ilsan Center was a significant drive over dirt roads into the country from Seoul. Built on a hill, Ilsan floated like an island in a sea of rice paddies and strawberry fields. Today, the burgeoning population of Seoul has engulfed the facility. Now the Ilsan Center is a sheltered enclave hidden among high-rise apartments and busy city thoroughfares. Much like the changing landscape it occupies, the Ilsan Center adapted to the changing needs of its residents. As adoptable children moved into foster care, Ilsan transitioned into a renowned facility for those with severe disabilities. Besides the hill itself, the most prominent feature of the Ilsan Center was its Wanda Chapel, named for the Holts’ eldest daughter who died accidentally in her twenties. Over the years the chapel was also a school and eventually rebuilt as a memorial hall and guest facility. In this chapel children lifted their voices in prayer and sor- and hoped on slopes of Ilsan. Most have left to join adoptive families around the world. But the echoes of children’s lives hover strong around this place because at Ilsan, children were and continue to be loved. ■ Top: Children on their way home at Ilsan in the early 1960s. Center: Bertha Holt visits the children of Ilsan, 1967. www.holtinternational.org 31 Holt calendar The 2006 commemorates our 50th anniversary. A great way to celebrate the pioneering of international adoption and help children who still need families. • Special large size—13 by 20 inches. • Featuring photos from Holt families, and highlights from Holt’s history. • To get your calendar, use the order form below, call (503) 687-2202 or order online at www.holtinternational.org/store. Please send me calendars at $10 each. (Price includes shipping) Total Enclosed: r Check enclosed Please charge my: r VISA r MC r AMEX (check one) Name as it appears on card (please print) Card # Exp. Date Billing Address (street) Billing Address (city, state, zip) Signature Post Office Box 2880 • Eugene OR 97402 Change Service Requested Daytime Phone NONPROFIT ORG US POSTAGE PAID EUGENE OR PERMIT NO. 291 Nov/Dec 2005 Vol. 47 No. 5 For the Love of Korean Children Holt-Korea Celebrates 50 Years
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