Documentary Review: The Manor

o
Guelph Dance
Festival in
Exhibition Park
See centre for photos
theONTARION
171.3 • JUNE 6, 2013 • The University of Guelph’s Independent Student Newspaper • www.theontarion.com
3
New season of
Arrested Development
4
PHOTO BY WENDY SHEPHERD
Much like the “Gentlemen’s Club” sign at The Manor in Guelph, the strip industry seems to be dying, but The Manor
documentary will leave you wondering even more about what goes on behind closed doors.
Documentary Review: The Manor
Strip club doc looks at
family dynamics
Wendy Shepherd
If you’re looking for a film that
delves into the inner workings of
the strip club business in Guelph,
you better look somewhere else. Of
course, “inner workings” is up for
the interpretation of the viewer.
This film is not a history of The
Manor itself (a valid assumption),
but the story of a family working to
keep themselves together, all while
attempting to run an unconventional family business.
The
filmmaker,
Shawney
Cohen, comes across as the
most stable and rational family
member, one who is forced to live
and work in an unstable lifestyle.
He is ultimately distraught by his
family’s current state of affairs
and throughout the film he places
the viewer in a state of emotional
uncertainty.
Shawney effectively plays on
the pros and cons of each family
member throughout the film. His
father is portrayed as the protagonist: the precise depiction of a
man trying to save face, all while
attempting to care for his family in
an essentially insensitive manner.
His brother Sammy is a moneyhungry representation of the
business, and is fairly absent in his
involvement with the family. Then
there is his mother, a woman who
suffers from an eating disorder, an
affliction that has resulted in her
unwillingness to accept help from
others for decades.
This sort of family collapse is not
what you’d expect in a documentary about a strip club, but the
film is rightfully named as it is
presented with a sense of satirical irony; the very business the
Cohen’s are striving to keep alive
is inevitably what is causing them
to fall apart.
Among the family drama that
keeps the audience wanting
more, what makes this documentary truly stand out is its ability to
tap into social issues. The Manor
challenges the stereotypes of a
dying industry and our preconceived notions about those who
work there, all while bringing to
light the emphasis society places
on the “ideal” body image.
What can be learned about
the strip club business from this
documentary? Not that much,
but it may evoke some tears
and the occasional chuckle. If
you were hoping by the end
of the film to achieve a conclusive feeling toward the well
being of this family, you’ll be
left with disappointment. But
more importantly, you will leave
the theatre thinking about it,
something you may not typically expect from a documentary
about a strip club.
Is pot the new
weight-loss drug?
8
GIF versus JIF
debate
| 3 Arts & Culture | 4 Sports & Health | 8 Life | 8 Opinion | 10 Editorial | 11 Crossword | 11 Community Listings | 11 Classifieds |
2
NEWS
www.theontarion.com
Rare map finds way to Guelph Civic Museum
Andrea Connell
A rare Town of Guelph map has
taken up residence at the Guelph
Civic Museum on Norfolk Street.
The map, hand drawn in 1868
by surveyor Joseph Hobson, was
found in the basement of a local
home and donated to the museum
in 2008. It took two years and 275
hours to restore the map its original condition.
Kathleen Wall, assistant curator
at the museum, said she believes
the map is a one-of-a-kind, created by little known mapmaker
Hobson.
“We don’t know a lot about him.
He doesn’t do large-scale maps,
he does little survey maps and
what we think this is, is actually
the legend of these survey maps,”
said Wall. “This is the only largescale map that Hobson did.”
A legend map or key map is
a visual index system to track
down other smaller maps that
fit within the larger map’s
boundaries. Hobson’s map fits
that description, and different
coloured blocks of lots such as
“Grange Survey” and “Ferguson’s Survey” are clearly labeled
on the map.
Due to age and water damage,
the map was in horrible condition when the museum received
it. The staff was concerned about
the condition of the map; each
time it was unrolled, pieces of it
would begin to fall off.
We got lucky
once we
found out how
rare it was...and
CCI accepted our
application.
- Kathleen Wall
Luck played a part in its restoration though. Within days of the
map coming into the museum’s
possession, an email arrived from
the Canadian Conservation Institute, a Government of Canada
program that promotes and conserves Canada’s cultural heritage,
encouraging the museum to
submit an application for a restoration project.
No other museums had such a
map by Hobson. “We got lucky
once we found out how rare it
was...and CCI accepted our application,” said Wall. “The head
conservator and student interns
worked on it, and had many different challenges. They had to
replace the whole backing, put
the loose pieces back on. They
had to wash the paper to get it
back to the original colour. They
did not recolour anything. The
washing highlighted the hand
painting that’s on the map.”
The project began in 2009 and
the map was returned to the
museum in April of this year. The
map measures approximately five
feet by five feet and features an
interesting scale. “It was done in
the old fashion measurement of
chains, where each loop of the
chain was a certain length,” said
Wall. “It is to scale.” The chain was
often 100 links long with each link
measuring a certain length.
The map is not on permanent
public display due to the expense
associated with special framing and
preservation glass, but anyone can
make an appointment with Wall to
view the map. Eventually it will be
digitized and available for viewing
online with the rest of the museum’s collection. Wall encourages
people to come and see the map.
“You often don’t get a chance to
see an old map like this in Guelph
anyway, but to see a hand-coloured
one and see one from this time
period when Guelph was experiencing a lot of growth, it’s a pretty
amazing piece of Guelph history.”
If
you
would
like
to
arrange
a
viewing
email
kathleen.wall@guelph.ca
PHOTO BY KATHLEEN WALL
A rare map, hand drawn by surveyor Joseph Hobson in
1868, was found in the basement of a local home in 2008.
After two years of restoration, it is back to its original state.
U of G looking for input on new President
Presidential selection
committee holds drop-in
session for community
perspectives
Jessica Avolio
Alastair Summerlee’s current
term as the President and ViceChancellor at the University of
Guelph will soon come to an end
as a new president is expected to
be in place by summer 2014.
Summerlee is the seventh President of the University of Guelph,
and in 2013 he is completing his
second five-year term.
The
Presidential
Selection
Committee has held several
drop-in sessions in order to gain
input and advice from the University community. Throughout
April and May, the committee has been working to gather
input from those affiliated with
the University community in
order to create a position profile for the next President and
Vice-Chancellor.
On May 24, the selection committee presented a draft position
profile which was given to attendees who gathered at the library’s
Academic Town Square. The
committee was looking for feedback from the community and
wanted the public to offer their
perspectives in order to create a
final position profile.
The drafted mandate outlined
how the new President will be
required to have the skills to
develop and implement a strategic plan that inspires and unites
the University community,
how they will need to implement innovative approaches to
keep the University among the
best post-secondary institutions in Canada and the world,
how they will recognize, value
and celebrate the University
and its accomplishments, along
with a list of additional skills.
The draft profile also outlined the potential candidate’s
requirements for education,
qualifications, experience and
personal characteristics.
Some of the stakeholder
questions presented at this
drop-in session asked others
to share their opinions on (1)
what strengths the University
should continue to build on, (2)
what challenges it will need to
address, (3) what opportunities they should pursue, and (4)
what makes it different and/or
how should it differentiate itself.
The questions also asked what
the (5) President’s short and
long-term priorities should be,
and (6) what leadership attributes and character traits the
University of Guelph should be
seeking in the next President and
Vice-Chancellor.
If you have your own opinions
or ideas about what characteristics you’d like to see in the
next University of Guelph President, or opinions on where
the University is headed in the
next five to ten years, you can
submit your ideas to the committee’s confidential email at
presidentsearch@caldwellpartners.com.
Cycling with all the bells and whistles
Cyclist encouraged to
ride safely
Andrea Connell
The Campus Community Police
and Guelph Police bike units
teamed up to run the annual
Safety Prevention Awareness
Courtesy Program (SPACE) on
May 29. Over 100 cyclists were
reached during the two-hour
blitz at the corner of Gordon St.
and McGilvray Lane where officers shared cycling safety tips,
rules of the road and checked
to see if bicycles were in good
working order during the twohour Wednesday morning blitz.
Constable Shyanne McGregor
checked over this reporter’s
mountain bike and gave a couple
of helpful hints. “You need a
white light on the front, a red
reflector or solid red light on the
back. Red flashing lights are for
emergency vehicles only. And a
bell or horn as well.”
Points taken. I have white light
on the front but the battery is
dead, I removed the red light on
the back because it’s heavy and I
don’t ride it much at night. As for
the bell, well, I think it’s dorky on
a mountain bike. However Const.
McGregor gave me this thought
to consider.
“What I tell people is, it’s all about
safety. You need to warn others on
the trial of your presence. If you
are mountain biking alone and you
fall, maybe even down an incline,
you can use that bell or horn to
alert people to your whereabouts,”
said McGregor. Never thought
about that or the $85 fine for not
having said bell on bike.
Your bike needs to be in good
working order, meaning the
brake cables need to do their
job, worn out brake shoes need
to be replaced and tires need to
be pumped up to full pressure.
The CSA Bike Centre on campus
can give you a tune-up and teach
you how to maintain your bike.
There are at least three bike shops
in town that can do major bike
overhauls and have front and rear
lights available for purchase.
Following the rules of the road is
one of the most important components of riding a bike. Two big
infractions: riding on the sidewalk
and riding through the crosswalk.
Not only is it illegal, the chances of
colliding with a pedestrian or a car
are high. You can also get an $85
fine for riding through the pedestrian crossover as well as a Victim
Surcharge fine of $20 minimum for
doing so. Riding the wrong direction in a bike lane can also net you
an $85 fine. The lane is part of the
road, and the Highway Traffic Act
applies; it’s like driving the wrong
direction on a one-way street.
Cycling is a great way to get to
campus, so ensure it’s safe for
everyone. You are not in Grade
6 anymore, so stay off the sidewalks and ride in bike lanes
where they are available. Think
about protecting your wheels
from thieves. Const. McGregor
added, “Lock your bike. It takes
about 30 seconds to steal a bike if
it is not properly locked. We get
a lot of bikes stolen on campus.”
NEWS
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171.3 • Thursday, JUNE 6, 2013
Budget proposes auto insurance costs to drop
Premier Kathleen Wynne
announces 15 per cent
reduction strategy in new
budget
Em Wilson
Ontario motorists lament auto
insurance rates – many face costs
as high as $3600 per year. Ontario
auto insurance rates are among
the highest in all of Canada.
Finance Minister Charles Sousa
stated, “The cost is hard on people’s wallets but it also presents
a drag on our economy. We are
targeting a 15 per cent cut on auto
insurance rates to help people
with their cost of living and to
ease expenses.”
Sousa estimates this new legislation will save $225 per vehicle
on annual average premiums for
drivers. Wynne’s proposal will
require private insurers to lower
rates for Ontario residents with
safe driving records.
However, insurers are skeptical
as to how they will handle this cut.
Private insurers claim that they
make very little money on auto
insurance despite high rates due to
prolific instances of fraud and abuse
of the system. Insurance fraud costs
Ontario $1.6 billion every year.
Since auto insurance is mandatory in Ontario, yet rates remain
so high, it is easy to understand
why fraud and abuse of the system
are a reoccurring symptom.
Kathleen Wynne’s new budget
would empower the Financial Services Commission of
Ontario (FSCO) to better address
fraudulent insurance claims.
FSCO would gain new powers to
oversee health clinics and practitioners in billing auto insurers for
auto accidents.
Conservative leader Tim Hudak
criticized the proposal stating,
“I think people are tired of this
bumper sticker politics where you
throw a number out there with no
plan whatsoever to get to that.”
Although the NDP supports
changes in Ontario’s auto insurance rates, NDP leader Andrea
Horwath was also skeptical of the
new legislation. She suggested
that, “what we don’t see are any
accountability measures … we
don’t see any reference to how
much time it’s going to take.”
Despite these initial criticisms,
the NDP has agreed to support the
new budget. In addition to the 15
per cent cut in auto insurance
premiums, the Liberal’s budget
included measures catering to
NDP demands such as a youth
jobs strategy and new funding for
home-care health services.
ARTS & CULTURE
Long Take looks at overlooked spaces
Stacey Aspinall
On a bright summer day, the
trek across town to Boarding
House Gallery on Dublin Street
involved the typical scenery:
red-brick houses, porches with
peeling paint, pathways, and lush
green lawns and leaves. These
sights were similar to the subject
matter presented in Jennifer Carvalho’s solo MFA thesis exhibition
Long Take, which used the mundane as inspiration and through
the medium of paint, presented
familiar images with a twist.
The exhibition includes paintings of nature and forgotten,
mundane spaces in a photorealistic style, but also features
painterly techniques such as dripping paint, broad brushstrokes
and thickly and thinly applied
paint to create interest. At first
glance, the pieces appear similar
to images one might capture with
a camera, but a closer inspection
reveals how each scene is altered
by the artist’s hand.
“With my work, I’m usually looking to spaces that are overlooked:
you know, the seemingly uneventful spaces of lived experience, and
... I’m interested in representational
systems and how that information
can then break down into painted
mark,” Carvalho said. Through
paint application, the surface of the
canvas encourages an experience of
close looking, “where you’re drawn
to look at these things that you
would otherwise not look at or not
notice, necessarily,” Carvalho said.
Steps, paths and walkways, all
empty and seemingly neglected
spaces, seem to be a recurring
motif throughout the collection
of paintings.
Carvalho works from photographs, and though the images
may seem akin to casual snapshots
of
everyday
scenes,
composing images is a deliberate
practice that requires a critical
eye. Carvalho explored her surroundings with a camera, while
paying attention to details such as
light hitting the side of a building,
or the colour of brick at a certain
time of day. These sites were then
framed through the camera’s
lens, and later, further cropped to
fit the canvas. The photographic
aspect of Carvalho’s practice provides an opportunity to reflect
upon temporality, and how time
can be represented within a given
medium.
PHOTO BY STACEY ASPINALL
Jennifer Carvalho strives to recreate “uneventful spaces of lived experience” through
her work in her exhibition Long Take which took place on May 30.
“I’m interested in allowing my
reference to photography show
in the painting. So I don’t try
and hide that I work from photographs.” Carvalho is interested in
the way a photograph captures an
instant in time, and how this can
be further explored through the
process of painting.
“It’s an instant in time that I’m
stretching out through the act of
painting, and revisiting this one
instant over the period of a couple
weeks to a month. And so then that
time [...] becomes visible through
the marks on the canvas and the
different passages,” Carvalho said.
These temporal elements refer
back to the title of the exhibit;
Long Take is a cinematic term,
referring to an uninterrupted
shot in a film that lasts much
longer than the conventional
pace of film, used for dramatic
or narrative effect. “A lot of my
research interests are concerned
with the long take in cinema.
And the long take is a temporal
cinematic device that is about
duration, so it points back to my
interest in time,” said Carvalho.
Ultimately, Long Take highlights the tension between the
immediacy of sight, and the
deliberate and time-consuming
act of looking.
TV review: Arrested Development
Season four back on
track after six-year
cancellation
Alex Roibas
After being off the air for nearly
a decade, Arrested Development has returned via Netflix
with a hilarious fourth season. In
the newest season, each episode
addresses the story of a specific character since the show’s
cancellation six years ago. The
15-episode season was released
all at once on May 26.
The first episode starts with
Michael Cera’s character George
Michael, the second episode
focuses on George Bluth Sr., and
so on. Each character sees the
same set of events from their own
perspective as the story evolves.
This causes a Tarantino-esque
intersection of events within the
lives of the Bluth family and hilarious overlapping problems begin
to pile up as the season progresses.
Overall, Mitch Hurwitz has
done a fantastic job in reviving
the series after its six-year hiatus.
By creating the character-bycharacter episode format, he is
able to address the progression of
each member of the Bluth family
since the show’s cancellation,
while still creating new plotlines
in the process.
While some diehard fans of the
show may be critical of the plot’s
direction, the series is able to maintain the comedic dynamics between
each of the Bluth family members.
This is what makes the character-based episode format so
brilliant. If Hurwitz and his writing staff had attempted to address
the issues of the whole cast of
characters at one time, so much
of the story could be missed out
on. Instead, Hurwitz chose to
create a complex series of intersecting story arcs that allowed
him to focus on each of the characters, providing dense amounts
of content to starved fans.
In addition to the main cast
of characters, many celebrities
appear in the newest season. Ron
Howard, a producer and director of the show, plays himself
as Michael becomes involved in
Howard’s production company,
Imagine Pictures. Other guests
include Kristen Wiig, Seth Rogen,
Isla Fisher, John Krasinski, Conan
O’Brien and the cast members
from Workaholics.
It is clear that since the show’s
cancellation in 2006 there has
been a rallying of support not just
from fans of the show, but within
the entertainment industry. In
past seasons, the show’s featured
guests were made up almost
exclusively of B-list celebrities.
Season four however has shown
that the time off may have actually given the show’s viewership
time to expand.
Unlike many other shows that
were forced to revive themselves,
Arrested Development managed
to retain all of the original cast
members, even including those
who had a relatively insignificant
role in previous seasons.
Ultimately, season four of
Arrested Development will definitely not disappoint long time
fans of the show. The newest
season does a great job at developing main characters and
answers the big plot questions
that were posed at the end of
season three. Some of the show’s
characteristics have evaporated
over the cancellation period, but
the show has retained its hilarious
and sometimes unsettling style
of comedy that will continue to
entertain people for many years
to come.
4
www.theontarion.com
ARTS & CULTURE
Curator tour of MSAC’s XXXV exhibition
Dawn Owen gives a talk
and guided tour of the
celebratory exhibition
Jessica Avolio
Macdonald Stewart Art Centre
(MSAC) is celebrating their 35th
anniversary with an exhibition labeled XXXV. This exhibit,
which launched at the beginning
of May, showcases artworks from
MSAC’s permanent collections.
Since their beginnings in 1978,
the MSAC collection has grown
from 150 pieces to more than
8,000. Dawn Owen, curator of
contemporary art at MSAC, had
the task of severely editing down
this collection in order to choose
which specific works to showcase.
On May 28, Owen gave a curator’s talk at MSAC to discuss the
selected pieces and how the exhibition was organized. The focus
of this show was on modern and
contemporary art, something
that has “...always been our
strength,” said Owen.
As Owen toured a large group
through the gallery, she spoke
of several pieces of interest. In
the main clerestory gallery was
a piece from the “Jalousie” series
by James Carl, a University of
Guelph faculty member. This
sculpture was fashioned out of
aluminum venetian blinds which
were woven into a cactus-like
shape. Owen spoke about how the
work was “...pushing boundaries
around materiality,” something
common to contemporary practice in sculpture.
The second gallery to the left
was a room shaped around photobased artworks. Owen spoke about
how it is currently a “...revolutionary time for photography,” since
several of these works pushed the
boundaries between what is sculpture and what is photography,
especially in regards to how they
occupied space.
One standout piece was Christine Davis’ “Hyperbole.” This
triptych photograph featured a
plate of reflective steel underneath the image, something that
brought the image out into living
space. Davis used optical tricks of
inverting and reflecting images,
something that mimicked not
only the photography process, but
how we view photography as well.
The group then migrated to the
large rooms to the right of the
clerestory gallery. A large painting on one of the feature walls was
“London No. 5” by Jack Bush, an
artist who had newly piqued the
interest of the National Gallery of
Canada.
Adjacent was a 400-pound
work by David Bierk, a triptych
with solid plates of metal on
either side. Bierk’s work typically
existed within the confines of
traditional painting, though upon
second glance the piece took on
the role of both photography and
sculpture.
In the back room was a sculpture titled “Torso” by Michael
Snow. The piece was “...dramatically lit...” and light was placed
around this work in order to
highlight the texture and form.
The room also featured two
different takes on portraiture.
“Firestorm” by John Scott was an
incredibly large graphite drawing
on canvas and Owen described it
as an “...anthropomorphised portrait.” The other portrait work on
the juxtaposed wall was a painting
titled “Studio Interior” by Malcolm Rains. This portrait behaved
as a “Literal portrait of the artists
creative space,” said Owen.
Upon walking up the stairs and
entering the first room, everyone was met with a sweet aroma.
Owen pointed out that “Very
rarely … do you have a sense of
smell as well as sight” in a gallery
setting. This was because of the
large sculptural work by Aganetha
Dyck hanging from the ceiling.
This work was created from a live
colony of honeybees and explained
the unique scent in the air.
Inuit wall hangings and textiles
surrounded the rest of the room,
but there was also a special commissioned wampum belt by artist
Ken Maracle, and it sat next to
the “Hudson Bay Coffee Blanket”
produced by MSAC’s own Verne
Harrison. This display intended to
represent the “...trade and commodification...” of art and culture.
In the transitionary hallway
space between the upstairs galleries, there were several painted
works from southern-Canadian
artists who have visited the
Arctic. Owen made the decision to include a work by Lawren
Harris titled “Morning Light,
Lake Superior,” and while Harris
was not a modernist, he was
someone who ventured north
and interpreted that environment. Owen stated that this piece
was “...a gift to the viewers.”
The final gallery space in the
back of the second level was a
room of contemporary metalwork’s. Many pieces were by
silversmiths, with artists “...flirting with function.” The space
also featured abstract works and
paintings, with a focus on the
“The Separation Resolved” by
Rolph Scarlett. This piece was
included because he was also
a jewelry maker, and his work
inspired Owen to put other
abstract works within the context of the show.
Overall, XXXV featured some
of the very best of the contemporary and modern MSAC
collection thanks to the work of
Owen and her colleagues. If you
have yet to visit the exhibition
it’s not too late as it will be running until July 14.
SPORTS & HEALTH
Toking up and slimming down
Can marijuana protect us
from obesity?
Laura Castellani
Plagued by ever-rising rates of
obesity and increasingly sedentary lifestyles, the time has come
for Canadians to take a hit for
health. Or so a recent American
survey, linking regular marijuana
use to improvements in metabolic health would suggest.
More specifically, the National
Health and Nutritional Examination Survey found that
Americans aged 20 to 59 who
identified as regular users of
the recreational (though illegal)
drug showed improved insulin
sensitivity and had smaller waist
lines compared to non-user
counterparts.
Both insulin sensitivity and
waist circumference are strongly
connected with the health and
function of an individual’s
metabolism.
Larger waist circumferences
indicate that more fat is being
stored in the harmful visceral fat
depot, located deep within the
abdominal cavity. As fat continues to accumulate at this site
it is more likely to spill over to
neighbouring peripheral tissues,
such as liver and muscle where
it interferes with signalling and
compromises the integrity of
these tissues.
Likewise, sensitivity to insulin
is necessary for tissues to take
up substrates from the blood
to be used for energy. Insulin
is secreted from the pancreas
in response to elevated blood
sugar levels. If tissues cannot
respond to insulin, the pancreas
will work to compensate by
releasing more of the hormone
into circulation. This adaptation is short-lived and spikes
in insulin levels can indicate a
problem responding to insulin
and future complications for
fuel metabolism.
In this way, the decreased insulin levels and lower waist sizes of
regular marijuana users represent
a positive adaptation.
Though the connection between
marijuana use and changes in
metabolism remain to be determined, the process is thought
to involve the production of a
protein known as adiponectin.
Secreted from fat cells, adiponectin is connected to improvements
in energy regulation and fat and
carbohydrate metabolism.
The process is thought to
involve the cannabinoid type 1
and 2 receptors. Studies considering the mechanism have
shown that compounds, both
synthetic and natural, which
limit the activation of these
receptors link to improved insulin sensitivity, decreased waist
circumference and protection
against diet induced obesity.
However, these effects tend to
be limited in instances where
adiponectin is not available.
Interestingly, a rodent study
demonstrated that rats administered cannabis lost weight and
displayed improved pancreatic
health.
Still, before skipping the gym
and forgetting the food guide,
there are certainly limitations
to be considered. The study was
designed as a self-reported recall
of activities and habits, and surveys of this sort may be skewed,
particularly when individuals are
assessing the health and quality
of their lifestyle.
A ROLLING GOOD TIME
PHOTO BY WENDY SHEPHERD
The Royal City Roller Girls’ “Killer Queens” gear up for another jam (or “match” for anyone
unaware of roller-derby terminology) during their victorious bout against “Skateful Dead”
from Kingston, ON during the 2013 Home Opener on June 1.
SPORTS & HEALTH
5
171.3 • Thursday, JUNE 6, 2013
Root to tip: asparagus facts, nutrition and recipes
Kaela Shea
COURTESY PHOTO
Spring has sprung! Despite the
sporadic temperature jumps,
it is indeed springtime. Along
with the telltale signs of tulips,
petunias,
and
mosquitoes,
waves of fresh Ontario produce have entered the stores
and markets. One such spring
treasure is asparagus. Asparagus has an eight week growing
season in Ontario, producing
stalks as tall as 15cm in a day.
Packed with nutrients, asparagus can be eaten raw, boiled,
grilled, baked, and made into a
delicious soup.
The Canadian Food Guide tells
us to eat seven to eight servings
of vegetables and fruit per day.
So what exactly can a serving
of asparagus add to our diet?
Asparagus offers very little
calories; the caloric output for
their digestion is more than
calories gained.
Despite this, the richly green
vegetable has much to give to
our bodies. Asparagus contains
dietary fibre, which aids in
digestion and limits the body’s
absorption of food based toxins.
The dark green stalks are a good
source of anti-oxidants which
are effective in eliminating
dangerous free radical oxygen
to protect against cancer.
Asparagus contributes many
vitamins and minerals essential
for bodily functions. B-complex
vitamins support metabolism
which supplies energy to the
multiple systems of the body.
Vitamins A, C, and E boost the
ability of the body to combat
infections, and repair tissue
damage. Vitamin K has very
important dual functions of
ensuring bone development,
and preventing neurological
damage. Also, minerals Copper
and Iron are needed in red
blood cell production.
We are by no means the first
to enjoy the taste or nutrition of the spring time crop. As
the oldest recorded vegetable,
asparagus had been cherished
over 2000 years ago as a delicacy in ancient Greek, and then
Roman empires. Originating in
Asia Minor, Asparagus is now
a common vegetable grown
worldwide.
In Ontario Asparagus is strictly
a spring vegetable. Stalks are
harvested within eight weeks;
between the beginning of May
and end of June.
When buying asparagus there
are certain characteristics one
can look for that distinguish
the cream of the crop. Ideally
asparagus should have thin
crisp stalks, dark colour, and
tightly closed tips. If possible
the freshest stalks should be
chosen and then stored in cool
temperatures to preserve natural sugars and vitamin C.
There are several methods of
preparation that may be used
to enjoy asparagus. The easiest
is just eating it raw, though you
still may want to snap off the
woody ends. It is important to
not overcook asparagus as that
will lead to the degradation of
important vitamins.
Some simple preparations
methods are: boiling (approximately 5 min), steaming (4 to
8 min), or oven-roasting with
a drizzle of oil (400F, 8 to 10
min).
Asparagus Risotto
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1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 medium onion, finely
diced
1 bunch of asparagus
1-1/2 cups arborio rice
1 cup of dry white wine
8 cups of vegetable stock,
heated until hot
1/2 cup finely grated parmigiano-reggiano
(or
similar), plus extra for
serving
salt and fresh ground
pepper
Heat oil in a large (12”) saute pan.
Add onion and cook for 10 minutes over medium until soft and
translucent. Add rice and stir with
wooden spoon until toasted, 3 or 4
minutes.
Add the wine and stir. Then add
one soup ladle of stock and cook,
stirring until absorbed. Repeat several times until all the stock is gone
and the rice is creamy (al dente).
This is about 20 minutes of standing by the stove stirring, so get
your comfy slippers on! Remove
pan from heat and stir in cheese,
season with salt and pepper.
Put a generous amount of cheese
in a bowl with a spoon.
Serves four.
Cream of Asparagus
Soup
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1 medium onion, diced
2 pounds of asparagus,
trimmed and cut in one
inch pieces, remove the
“woody part”
4-cups of chicken stock
1/2-cup Greek yogurt,
nonfat or 2% fat
salt and pepper to taste
1 Tbsp. of cayenne pepper
Bring a large pot of water to
a boil. Add asparagus and cook
until tender, 3 to 5 minutes.
Remove and drain.
Reserve 2 cups cooking liquid
from the boil.
Dice onions and sautee on high
heat until slightly browned.
Transfer cooking liquid and
asparagus to a food processor
and puree until smooth – If you
don’t like biting onion, you can
puree the sautee too. Otherwise
just leave it to stir in by hand
later.
Combine asparagus puree
with chicken broth in a medium
stockpot and heat over medium
until warm.
Stir in yogurt, salt, pepper,
onion, and cayenne.
Serve!
Reading articles about health might make you ill
Read at your own risk
Laura Castellani
You are what you read, or so
it seems for health conscious
consumers exposed to media
stories warning of health risks.
According to a recent study,
media reports which provide
information on various health
risks may predispose the audience to developing symptoms
rather than preventing them.
The study, published in the
Journal
of
Psychosomatic
Research, explored the impact
of media stories which educate
the public on the risks associated with electromagnetic
waves, known to be emitted by
cell phones. Researchers found
that individuals who were
aware of the malevolent effects
associated with these waves
were more likely to develop an
adverse reaction, even in the
absence of actual exposure to
the radiation.
Researcher Dr. Michael Witthoft of Johannes Gutenberg
University Mainz in Germany
contrasted the response to that
of a placebo effect, whereby
individuals experience relief
from symptoms in the absence
of any actual treatment. Instead
individuals report a negative experience, such as pain
or discomfort despite a lack
of any real harmful exposure.
“The mere anticipation of possible injury may actually trigger
pain or disorders” Witthoft
explained. The psychosomatic
response is being termed a
“nocebo” effect.
To test the impact of media
stories reporting risk, the study
evaluated the response of 147
participants to fake WIFI signals they believed were real.
Before exposing participants
to the fake signals, each participant was shown a television
report. Half the participants
viewed a report explicitly
citing the dangers of electromagnetic fields emitted by cells
phones and WIFI signals, while
the other half of participants
watched a report on the safety
and security of data shared by
internet and cell phones.
Although neither group of
subjects was exposed to real
WIFI or electromagnetic signalling, 54 per cent of participants
experienced symptoms associated with exposure; including
anxiety, agitation, loss of concentration or tingling in their
fingers, arms, legs or feet. Two
participants chose to withdraw
from the study citing symptoms
too severe to continue.
Of the subjects who reported
experiencing symptoms, the
most severe reactions existed
among those who had viewed
the report warning of the
potential health risks associated
with exposure to electromagnetic fields and WIFI signals.
The study underlines the
importance of reporting with
integrity and the significance
of reporting meaningful facts.
Of course, readers and viewers
alike must absorb health information with a critical mind
and enjoy the reports for the
thoughts they provoke. After
all, if not, you might just worry
Body-checking in pewee hockey is no more
Will a ban really protect
our children?
James Mantelos
Modern ice hockey has always
been a physical sport, something
that has forever been ingrained
in its history. All the fighting and
hitting has been an aspect that gets
most fans excited. These actions of
aggression often receive cheers
that are as loud as the cheers heard
after a goal being scored.
However, a growing number of
serious injuries seem to take place
on the ice at the professional and
amateur level. This is why most
Canadians are not surprised with
the Hockey Canada announcement that body-checking at the
pewee level will now be banned.
What this ban means is that
players 12 years old and under
will not be able to body-check
in the upcoming 2013 to 2014
hockey season. However, when
players reach the age of 13 and
qualify for “bantam level,” they
will be allowed to body-check.
The argument against the ban is
that children should learn how to
be able to take a check properly to
prepare them for advanced levels of
hockey. Don Cherry has stated his
disapproval of the ban during the
May 24 Coaches Corner. He argued
that there will still be hitting in the
bantam level, and this will lead to
more injuries since peewee hockey
players have not developed the
proper skills ahead of time in order
to protect themselves.
A research study from Alberta
found that injuries were three
times more likely to occur in
peewee hockey without the
body-checking bans in comparison to the peewee league in
Quebec, which already has a ban
in place. Research also found that
in a pewee level environment,
concussions were four times
more likely to happen when the
bans weren’t in place.
The truth is that when a player
suits up and steps on the ice,
there is always a level of risk
involved, and many are saying
it is difficult to argue against the
safety of young children.
In addition to the Quebec
peewee league, Alberta and
Nova Scotia have also recently
implemented this ban on bodychecking. Alberta believes this
rule change will reduce the
amount of concussions by about
400 and prevent approximately
1,000 injuries on a yearly basis.
It seems Hockey Canada has
followed suit and this change
will soon take effect across the
country.
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Dancing In The Park
Parts+Labour_Danse
Photos by Wendy Shepherd
(visit www.theontarion.com for full photo reel)
Performers from across Canada met up in
Exhibition Park to show off their skills
at the kick-off to the 15th annual Guelph
Dance Festival.
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Parts+Labour_Danse
Ellli Miller-Maboungou (left) and
Marc Keyevuh on drums
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8
LIFE
www.theontarion.com
Internet mourns the loss of their hard G
Creator says “GIF” is
pronounced “jif”
Alex Howie
“The Oxford English Dictionary
accepts both pronunciations,”
Steve Wilhite, inventor of the
GIF, said. “They are wrong. It is a
soft ‘g’, pronounced ‘jif.’ End of
story.”
This declaration from the father of
the GIF sent the Internet into a chaotic frenzy over their beloved file
format. Wilhite’s intentions were
to end the annoying debate once
and for all; but instead his answer
created an uproar of disagreement,
only adding fuel the long time
format pronunciation debate.
The side in disagreement with
Wilhite does have some valid
points. GIF is an acronym for
Graphic Interchange Format,
meaning the G stands for Graphics. This would logically make the
abbreviation begin with a hard G
as the word Graphics also starts
with a hard G, not a soft G. The
geek know-it-alls of the Internet
are set on not losing their hard G,
despite with the creator says.
Wilhite is the creator after all,
so shouldn’t he be entitled to the
pronunciation of his own creation? He did in fact invent the
now widely used format back
in 1987 while working at the
nations first major online service,
CompuServe. Shouldn’t we all
just agree with the way he pronounces his own invention?
According to the lovely people
of Twitter, apparently not. Thousands of shocked, confused and
angry tweets were composed
after Wilhite attempted to end
the debate on May 21 when he
won the Lifetime Achievement
award at the Webby Awards. His
acceptance speech consisted of
a GIF reading point blank “IT’S
PRONOUNCED ‘JIF’ NOT ‘GIF’,”
along with some dramatic music,
a small smirk and then a walk off
the stage. Something so short and
clever has lead to more hurt and
anger than the infamous disaster
of Yahoo taking over Tumblr.
The largest source of anger
comes from the fact that Wilhite took 26 years to state the
correct pronunciation. People
actually feel like they’ve been
lied to and that this whole
COURTESY PHOTO
debate may have been avoided if
he had made it clear it was “jif”
from the beginning. Instead
these same people are rebelling
in the only way they know how:
humour. If you’re ever looking
for some quick amusement, try
searching “gif or jif” on Tumblr,
then laugh at all the clever and
extremely passionate posts of
anger. Twitter is also funneling their rage into fun with
tweets like the one from journalist Alistair Coleman reading,
“[Creator] of the Gif says it’s
pronounced “jif”. Why didn’t
he say so earlier, the gerk?”
Society needs to calm down
and accept that this tedious controversy will never be solved.
The inventor of the file format
straightforwardly told us how to
say it, and we still didn’t listen. In
all honesty it doesn’t matter what
you call it, “jif” or “gif” we all
know what you mean. If you’re
the person correcting everyone
who doesn’t pronounce GIF the
way you do, please just stop for
your own safety because someone
is going to snap at you eventually. We all need to embrace the
humour this debate has brought
us and just get on with creating
more revolutionary moving picture thingies.
OPINION
Conservatives refused to cooperate during robocall investigation
A critical analysis of
political fraud
Alex Roibas
During the 2011 Canadian election, a series of automated calls
took place across Ontario that
informed voters that venues had
changed, and provided new locations for ballots to be registered.
However, the calls proved to be
a sabotage mission created by
the Conservative Party to help
redirect voters they knew based
on their CIMS (the Constituency
Management System) database
were not supporters of their
political perspective.
Flash forward to May 2013,
where Marc Mayrand has begun
to uncover some of those responsible for the robocall scandal.
Mayrand is Canada’s Chief Electoral Officer and is responsible
for investigating election fraud
across the country. Since the
robocalls happened, Mayrand has
been petitioning for the rights of
Elections Canada to gain access
to the databases, and the documented uses of these databases
by all of the major federal parties during the election period.
The Huffington Post stated that
Mayrand is desperate to find
some sort of transparency within
politics as his job becomes more
and more difficult with the
intensifying defensive stance of
Conservative Party members.
The House of Commons has
sadly denied the exposure of
critical information and endowed
major political parties with the
ability to essentially govern how
their own party gathers voting
support. With so much of the
election process being privatized, people within these major
political parties have a sense of
invincibility as their actions can’t
be fully investigated and they
can’t be forced to explain themselves. This is obviously a system
that is archaic and outdated, to
say the least.
Conservative
Parliamentary
Secretary Tom Lukiwski made
a statement in the Ottawa Citizen that until the investigation is
over, the public perception of his
party will be based on controversies, rather than political merit.
With this, Lukiwski does a great
job at deflecting the blame off of
the party and onto the specific
individuals who used the CIMS
database to commit these offenses.
Although the Conservatives
had supplied all of the documents requested by Elections
Canada, many of their representatives either refused to
comment or cancelled interviews at the last minute. These
are tactics that mock the justice
system in Canada and completely
undermine the seriousness of the
allegations presented towards the
Conservative party.
At the center of this issue is
Guelph, the only city in which
someone was actually charged
in relation to the controversy.
A Guelph Conservative representative is being charged with
using a government database for
the express purposes of interfering with the election process.
Although this is something that is
fairly widespread, it is in our city
that someone was brought to justice, even if the maximum penalty
possible under the Criminal Code
of Canada in these instances is
a five-year jail sentence. But,
Guelph is a city that is no stranger
to the questionable political tactics of the Conservatives.
At a speaking event for Steven
Harper at the University of
Guelph in April of 2011, students
were removed from the building and denied the chance to see
the Prime Minister speak, despite
registering themselves to attend.
This effectively kept any confrontation from occurring during
Harper’s speech, but it also completely destroyed any sense of
dialogue between citizens and
their elected leader.
My sister, Rebecca Roibas, was
among the people who were
forced to leave the event based
on their association with student organizations on campus.
Students who were involved
in things like the environmental club were seen as a potential
threat because of their assumed
political orientation based on
their extracurricular activities.
Sadly this is the type of political
culture that exists not just in
Canada, but North America as a
whole.
Issues such as the robocalls are
no longer about political ideology, be it Right or Left, Liberal
or Conservative, but rather an
issue of identity and political
reputation. How can our nation
expect to have a functioning and
respected government if the tactics it uses to implement itself are
steeped in controversy? It is now
on the shoulders of Canadians to
become effectively educated and
make their political choices based
on facts. This is crucial in keeping
ourselves from being victimized
by sleazy political maneuvering.
The views
represented in the
opinion section do not
necessarily reflect the
views of The Ontarion
nor its staff.
www.uoguelph.ca/studenthealthservices
OPINION
171.3 • Thursday, JUNE 6, 2013
9
Crossing Borders: The Immigrant Experience
A First-Generation
Challenge
Shwetha
Chandrashekhar
We are a nation of immigrants
with a million stories; stories
which marry us in a unity of
struggles and triumphs as pioneers to a foreign land. We are
the adherents of our ancestors
who wanted more out of life;
those who dreamed bigger about
better.
They came in pursuit of freedom
to rebuild and redefine life as
they knew it in their homelands.
As daring warriors,they embodied courage, trifled with risk and
were favoured fittingly so by fortune. Their sheer optimism was a
uniquely human attribute which
served them with the riches and
promises of freedom. They are the
brave species of first-generation
immigrants.
Being one of these stories
myself, I have witnessed the
rigorous inner strength and the
persevering hope and faith that
the journey of immigration obdurately demands from a family.
I have been a firsthand spectator of the tiring nomadic style
of the immigrant life, one which
shifts its dreams and foundation
constantly. I was one of those
familiar stories of the immigrant
kid struggling to fit into strange
and new surroundings – twice.
Seventeen years ago, I nervously understood that my stable
childhood in the suburbs of India
surrounded by my close family
and friends was about to become
a distant memory.
Having accepted a job transfer to Mozambique, a country
in Southeast Africa bordered
by the Indian Ocean, my parents daringly opted for the road
less traveled at behest of bigger
dreams for my sister and I.
As a close-knit family of four,
we spent five years starting our
lives from scratch: adapting to
the colossal culture shock, learning a new language, buying a
home, rebuilding a network of
close friends, redefining our
societal identities and learning
to understand a new city and its
idiosyncrasies which differed
entirely from the city of Mumbai
in which our past life was so
entrenched. We rediscovered a
new home in a new continent and
relearned the rewards of buoyant
strides of risk.
Then it happened all over
again. The enticing promises
of the Canadian dream allured
us once more when crime
rates became overbearing, and
promises of a stable future
started to wane. Seeking to
recreate a new personal utopia,
this time, our move was happenstance and sudden.
Amidst the horrific tragedy
of the September 11 attacks,
we started a new chapter and
beginning in a country which
promised and assured us of the
amalgamation of cultural diversity. Although, this time around,
our journey was more arduous
than before.
We began our journey in an
immigrant hub- an assemblage
of crowded apartments in central Mississauga which truly did
embrace a vast diversity in cultures. Those were trying days
indeed.
We had to readjust to the climate
change as we experienced our first
snowfall with no real understanding of the cold Canadian winter,
and through it all managed to find
our first big break.
Severely missing the warmth
and support of our close family
and friends, we started to learn
of the downfall of pursuing larger
dreams. I witnessed the typical
and dreaded reality of my parents having to re-work their way
up the corporate ladder despite
being highly established professionals beforehand.
Suddenly, it was as if the education and experiences our old
homes had provided us were
almost invisible in this new land.
Rebuilding a life again this
time, all we had as a family was
austerity for hard work and the
audacity of hope. It has been
12 years since, and today we
continue to live as the firstgeneration in a land in which we
have no family ties or previous
connections. Holidays hint at
celebrations with just us four as
we have grown to appreciate the
true meaning of family.
As a quintessential immigrant
success story, the journey so far
has been nothing short of sacrifices, forgotten dreams, and
copiously invested parental identities in the anticipated outcome
of their children.
Although seemingly picturesque, there is a subtle emptiness
about it – an emptiness those
understand, who have had to
leave behind everything stable to
pursue something which offers
more.
Today, as a silver lining, I recollect vivid dispositions of my past.
I grew up listening to patriotic
expressions of the Indian national
anthem and later went on to
seeing the borders of Maputo,
Mozambique.
Now I live in a land where I can feel
and express both. This is the essence
of the Canadian experience, as we
immigrants have always shared a
special kinship with the hope for a
better tomorrow.
To school or not to school, that is the question
Lightning John C.
In Dickens’ Oliver Twist, Mr.
Bumble says, “The Law is an ass.”
In my not-so-humble opinion,
this description also applies to
formal schooling from kindergarten to post-grad.
In almost every classroom in the
world - including those at our
overrated University of Guelph students are taught a helluva lot
of crap that has no relevance in
the real world.
For instance, in order to graduate, you must first pass lots of
courses of little, if any, interest
to you - and that are completely
unrelated to your chosen profession; e.g., literature has practically
no connection to architecture,
nor do the Ancient Greeks relate
to brain surgery. The same applies
to junior-senior kindergartens,
primary grades, and junior and
senior high schools. What do preschoolers and elementary school kids know about
professions? Almost nothing, but
every child has a special aptitude
for something, be it colouring,
music, or what-have-you. And
it’s this aptitude that gets lost in
the classroom shuffle of 20-to-30
pupils where the teacher simply
doesn’t have time to give individual attention to a lot of different
skills. On top of which, he/she has
no choice but to follow an idiotic
curriculum that produces millions
and millions of stupid kids. Not
only are they unable to do math in
their heads, they wouldn’t recognize an original idea if it bit them
you-know-where.
Why is such ignorance tolerated? There are many reasons, one
of which - I think - is a successful
attempt by the powers-that-be
to mass-produce placid, hardworking slaves who never speak
out against their masters. And
if you think this applies only in
China and Russia, open your eyes
to North American reality.
It starts before age two when
parents impose training (do this,
don’t do that) on their helpless
offspring, who are gradually conditioned to be unnaturally quiet
and obedient - just like adults. Of course, there are many
exceptions, but over the years
there’s been a steady decline in
the number of young people who
rebel against - or even question - the establishment. Instead,
we’re taught to seek well-paying jobs, which in large part are
non-existent. Mind you, it’s easy to describe
the problems with education, but
more difficult to offer solutions.
However, here’s a list of ten new
policies that will be introduced
when I become federal Prime
Minister and provincial Minister
of Education:
1. About 50 per cent of the
teaching staff in Ontario
will be dismissed and
replaced by teachers who
care about their students.
2. Schooling
will
be
non-compulsory.
3. Curriculums will be thoroughly revamped with one
teacher assigned to a single
subject (such as Music or
Math) for all grades.
4. Children who show a special talent for a particular
subject will be enrolled in
that class, as well as other
classes for which they have
an interest.
5. New courses will be
introduced to promote
self-confidence and social
interaction.
6. To avoid another Depression, a new system of
sharing will be introduced
to replace Capitalism.
7. Canada’s Criminal Code
will be completely revised
in order to delete most of
the ridiculous rules and
regulations (including the
law against possession of
marijuana). 8. The military budget will be
cut by 90 per cent, and police
forces reduced by half. 9. Jails and prisons will be
emptied of convicts who,
in turn, will be put to useful
work, such as road repair.
Refusing to work will mean
exile to the Northwest
Territories.
10. And finally, at age 21 (18
for women), every man
will be given $100,000 to
do with as he pleases; the
only requirement being
that he start paying it back
at age 40 (35 for women).
If you don’t pay back the
$100,000, you will end up
even farther North than all
those prisoners. The reasoning behind Number
10 is that, in those years when
young people can really savour
life, you’re stuck in school or in
low-paying jobs. Then you have
a kid or two, health issues, and
a mortgage. Thus, by the time
you can afford to travel, eat well
and buy good stuff, you’re too
damned stressed out or physically ill to enjoy them.
However, and let me be perfectly honest (as per some
politicians), elect me Prime Minister and I guarantee nothing will
ever be the same around here.
The views
represented in the
opinion section do not
necessarily reflect the
views of The Ontarion
nor its staff.
10
EDITORIAL
www.theontarion.com
The Ontarion Inc.
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Room 264
University of Guelph
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ontarion@uoguelph.ca
Parody vs. reality in Rob Ford crack-scandal
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o
Contributors
Alex Howie
Alex Roibas
Andrea Connell
Emma Wilson
James Mantelos
John C. Como
Kaela Shea
Kathleen Wall
Laura Castellani
Stacey Aspinall
Shwetha
Chandrashekhar
the
The Ontarion is a non-profit organization governed by a Board of Directors.
Since the Ontarion undertakes the publishing of student work, the
opinions expressed in this publication do not necessarily reflect those of
the Ontarion Board of Directors. The Ontarion reserves the right to edit or
refuse all material deemed sexist, racist, homophobic, or otherwise unfit
for publication as determined by the Editor-in-Chief. Material of any form
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advertisement. The Ontarion is printed by the Guelph Mercury.
Out of all the things that have
come out of Rob Ford’s mouth,
no one could have guessed that
the next thing would have been
smoke from a crack pipe.
About three weeks prior to the
time of this publication, several
journalists revealed that they
had viewed a cellphone video of
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine. With his rocky
past including a DUI, a marijuana
possession charge, being drunkenly thrown out of a Leaf’s game,
along with a novel of various other
shenanigans, many were not too
shocked upon hearing this news.
In addition to the mayor of the
largest city in Canada allegedly
smoking crack (really stop and
think about this for a moment),
an onslaught of other bizarre
occurrences have sprung from
this situation:
Ford failed to comment on this
crack-smoking video for a full
week after allegations hit the
news. When he finally gave a
statement he said, “I do not use
crack cocaine nor am I an addict
of crack cocaine;” a sentence
set in the present tense, causing
many to analyze its truthfulness.
Website Gawker began a
“Crackstarter” campaign and
raised over $200,000 in order to
purchase the video, but the drugdealing video owners disappeared
and failed to collect their ransom.
When the video owners got back
into contact with the publication,
they claimed the clip was “gone.”
A photo has been circling which
pictures Ford and three other
men, which purportedly ties
him to those in the drug scene.
Anthony Smith was one of the
men in the photo, and he was
murdered in a shooting in March,
while Muhammad Khattak, who
was also pictured in the photo,
was injured in that same shooting.
Mayor Ford told senior aides at
a city hall meeting that he knew
where the video was despite him
denying its existence to the press.
He recited an exact location of the
video to an apartment complex in
Toronto. A shooting occurred on
the same floor of this complex
soon after.
Many conspiracy theories have
popped up such as: (1) Rob Ford
bought the alleged video, (2)
Anthony Smith’s murder is connected, and (3) It’s a Toronto Star
conspiracy
Newer revelations say there is a
man named “Slurpy” who is Ford
look-a-like, someone who has considered making a fraudulent crack
video to discredit the whole thing.
It is almost a real-life representation of Poe’s Law; an observation
that is difficult, if not impossible
to distinguish between parody
and reality, since both seem
equally insane. But without the
release of the real video, we are all
left questioning the validity of the
situation. The whole thing would
almost be more believable if we
were told it was just an elaborate
joke, but alas we are stuck being
skeptics until its release.
Out from the rubble of the
peculiar have been many parodies
referencing this Rob Ford scandal. Website dailycurrant.com
published an article about Ford
blaming this video on his twin
brother Mike, and the comment
section following this article
showed that many believed it and
then shared it via social media as
if it were a real news story.
Another article published by
slate.com gave readers a quiz on
“Who Said It: Toronto Mayor Rob
Ford or Simpsons Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby?”, with many
Ford and Quimby quotes being
totally indistinguishable. Apparently the cartoon satirical-parody
version of a mayor, Diamond Joe
Quimby, is not so dissimilar to
real-life mayor Rob Ford.
It is unfortunate that with the
release of the information about
this alleged video along with the
bizarre news stories that have been
written about it (whether based in
truth or fiction), that many are
finding these extreme parodies
indistinguishable to the real thing.
Apparently we are living in a time
where real-life news is so strange,
we almost don’t need satire.
Where will “crackgate” take us in
the near future? Well, it’s difficult to
predict, though in the meantime we
can brush up on some of our deciphering skills and figure out what
may be fact and what may be fiction.
LETTER TO EDITOR
New blood donation rules improve, not enough
The recent removal of the life- couples that are monogamous/
time ban on gay male blood practice safe sex. If neither of us
donors isn’t good enough. have it, we can’t magically get it.
There is still a ban on dona- It doesn’t come out of thin air. tions by those who have had This ban is wrong. It makes us feel
sex with another man during as if we are looked at as dirty. Why
the previous five years. As a gay is it that those of us with the same
male, this would mean I could partner for years are unable to
not have sex with my fiancé, if donate, while heterosexual males,
we want to donate. We are in a who can sleep with as many partmonogamous relationship. The ners as they like, are allowed to
scare of AIDS is unjustified in donate? This has to change. Not
only for equal rights, but for the
fact that blood is in such dire need. I am no more at risk then anyone
else in any committed relationship. Canadian Blood Services
claims they test each batch. If this
is true, then there should be no
problem. It’s an archaic thought,
from more than 30 years ago. We are in the 21st century.
Let’s show the rest of the world
we are ahead of the times, for
once. If there are to be limitations, it should be on someone’s
sexual practices (number of
sexual partners, safe sex etc)
instead of one’s orientation. The
fact someone is gay is not synonymous with having tainted
blood. But this ban implies that.
If it’s lifted, people’s views will
start to change along with it. Andrew MacDowell
FUN PAGE
11
171.3 • Thursday, JUNE 6, 2013
COMMUNITY
LISTINGS
Friday June 7
Guelph Country Dances contra
dance. Featuring Vermont caller
Will mentor and Boston Mass. Band
“Apple Crisp”. 8pm at St. James
Anglican Church, S/W corner of
Paisley Rd/Glasgow St. No partner
or previous experience necessary.
No street shoes on the dance floor.
Free parking. Admission: $10.
CLASSIFIEDS
SERVICES
NEED ESSAY HELP! All subjects,
research, writing and editing
specialists, toll free 1 888 345 8295
customessay@bellnet.ca.
Join our advertising team and
make great commissions by
placing posters around campus.
Details: 416-280-6113.
MISCELLANEOUS
U of Guelph Cheese Study:
Participants Needed. Adults not
taking Vitamin D supplements
with a BMI>25 needed for
6-month
UofGuelph
Cheese
study. Financial compensation.
519-824-4120
x58081
or
cheese@uoguelph.ca.
Sunday June 9
Guelph Historical Walking Tours
--Tour IV (Upper): Altar and Hearth
in Victorian Guelph. Meet 2pm at
Guelph Public Library, 100 Norfolk
St. Cost: $5. (Fee does NOT include
admission to Guelph Museums). For
more details visit: www.guelpharts.ca/guelphartscouncil.
Macdonald Stewart Art Centre volunteers proudly present Gardenscapes
2013. Self-guided tour of 9 private gardens. Master Gardener Advice
Clinic at each garden. Noon-6pm; rain or shine. Admission $15. For more
information contact: 519-837-0010 or visit www.msac.ca
BestCrosswords.com
Across
1- First name in spydom
5- Rental agreement
10- Joke
14- Doozy
15- Overjoy
16- ___ breve
17- Thin stratum
18- Gray
19- Greek temple
20- Most powerful
22- Deadens
23- Hosp. section
24- Green shade
25- Greek goddess of
justice
29- Like much of
Cordoba’s architecture
33- Jazzy Chick
34- Remove water from
a boat
36- Village People hit
37- Nipper’s co.
38- Greeting
39- ___ longa, vita
brevis
40- Shoppe adjective
42- Astronaut Shepard
43- Intolerant person
45- Necessary
47- Incident
49- Sick
50- Year abroad
51- African language
group
54- Barren land
60- “The Time
Machine” people
61- Esther of “Good
Times”
62- “Hard ___!”
(sailor’s yell)
63- Defense grp. since
1949
64- Red fluorescent dye
65- Ike’s ex
66- Actor McGregor
67- Take as one’s own
68- Pulitzer-winning
biographer Leon
Down
1- Rock clinging plant
2- Work without ___(2)
3- Drop of water
expelled by the eye
4- Movable cupboard
5- Group
6- Ultimatum word
7- Contented sighs
8- Keep it, to an editor
9- Dusk, to Donne
10- First month
11- Jack of “Rio Lobo”
12- Oscar Madison, for
one
13- Soviet news agency
21- Final Four org.
22- “The Matrix” hero
24- Game played on
horseback
25- Segment of the
body of an arthropod
26- Plinth
27- Commerce
28- Clear as ___(2)
29- Pooh’s creator
30- Idealized concept of
a loved one
31- Young haddock
32- Speed
35- Menu words
38- Drag
41- Version
43- Common hop
44- Quarantine
46- Stomach, Asian, or
Hong Kong
48- Evident
51- Nota ___
52- What there oughta
be (2)
53- ___ chance! (2)
54- Timber
55- Too
56- Fall prey to a
banana peel, say
57- Put ___ on it! (2)
58- Hawaiian goose
59- Distribute cards
61- “Michael Collins”
actor
SUBMIT
your completed
crossword by
no later than
Monday, June
17th at 4pm for
a chance to win
TWO FREE BOB’S
DOG’S!
Last Week's Solution
Monday June 10
Guelph Hiking Trail Club: Hike Speedvale Ave to The Boathouse 3.5 kms.
An easy beginner hike, all on the TransCanada Trail with excellent views of
rapids along the river. Meet at Guelph covered bridge parking lot at 6:30pm.
Leader: Bill Mungall wmungall0809@rogers.com. Level 1. Easy Pace.
Friday June 14
GUELPH FOOD BANK GIGANTIC GARAGE SALES AND SILENT AUCTIONS
weekends throughout the summer at 100 CRIMEA STREET 8AM TO 6PM.
All are welcome. All proceeds support the Guelph Food Banks yearly heat
and hydro costs.
Sunday June 16
Guelph Historical Walking Tours Tour V: Brooklyn and the College Hill.
This tour includes some of the city’s best examples of masonry and stone
carving. Meet 2pm at McCrae House, 108 Water St. Cost: $5. (Fee does NOT
include admission to Guelph Museums). For more details visit:
www.guelpharts.ca/guelphartscouncil
Tuesday June 18
Buddhist Meditation Class- Simple, practical methods to improve the
quality of our life and develop inner peace. This week’s topic: Learning
to help others skillfully. Drop in class 7-8:30pm at St. Matthias Anglican
Church, 171 Kortright Rd. W. $10. www.kadampa.ca.
Friday June 21
Royal City Musical Productions Inc. Auditions for Fall 2013 production
of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Auditions: June 2123; callbacks June 26. Singers, dancers, and actors ages 7 and up. Details
regarding audition requirements and audition appointments can be found
online at www.rcmpi.ca.
Saturday June 22
First Light Theatre presents ‘Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead’ ~A
Comedic Twist On Shakespeare’s Hamlet~ by Tom Stoppard. Directed
by Rob MacKinnon. June 22nd 1 pm & 8 pm, June 23rd 1pm. George
Luscombe Theatre, UofG. Suggested donation: $10/student; $15/adult.
firstlighttheatre@gmail.com OR
www.firstlighttheatre.ca
Ongoing:
The annual Guelph Community Food Drive
kicks off May 31st - June 10th, aiming to help
smaller community food pantries stock their
shelves before the summer. For information
about drop off locations or volunteering,
contact kkamphuis@lakesidehopehouse.ca
or call 519-265-4299 x23.
Congratulations to this
week's crossword winners:
Adam Maahs and Jessica
Nguyen. Stop by the
Ontarion office to pick up
your prize!
Guelph Civic Museum’s Exhibit –‘Coming Out:
A Look at Queer, Political and Social History of
Guelph’. A special case exhibit to celebrate the
10th anniversary of Guelph Pride and the work
that has been done in the community. Exhibit
runs until August 25. 52 Norfolk St. 519-8361221 ext. 2773 guelph.ca/museum.