july 2015 issue - Rachel Williston

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Pretty T Girls
JULY 2015
The Magazine for the most beautiful girls in the world
A publication of Pretty T Girls Yahoo group
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Pretty T Girls
JULY 2015
The Magazine for the most beautiful girls in the world
A publication of Pretty T Girls Yahoo group
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In This Issue
Editorial by: Barbara Jean
Accept Yourself Just As You Are
Lipstick Was A Sign of Wealth
The Best Makeup Techniques for Your Eye Shape
16 Expert Answers for Eyes, Lips, and Skin
13 Curling Iron Hacks Every Girl Should Know
What Your Nails are Telling You About Your Health
How to Make Your Manicure Last
All About Wigs Part 4
The Adventures of Judy Sometimes
Módhnóirí
How Do You Teach Femininity
Tasi’s Musings
Humor
Angels In The Centerfold
Mellissa’s Tips
How To Use Accessories
Tasi’s Fashion News
Styling Tips To Look Slimmer and Sexier
Lucille Sorella
8 At Home Hair Removal Products That Work
10 Reasons Crossdressers Wives Divorce Them
From The Kitchen
How To Fix 17 Basic Cooking Mistakes
The Gossip Fence
Shop Till You Drop
Calendar
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Are Crossdressers Transgender?
An Editorial by: Barbara Jean
An article in the Montreal Gazette said that crossdressers were not always transgender. The
article has been sparking a lot of debate on both the Pretty T Girls board and on The TG
Woman board.
Now according to the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) one
has to be in transition to be transgender. True crossdressers see themselves as being men
who simply enjoy women’s clothing and presenting as a woman and have no desire to
transition.
On the other hand though Professor Gilbert in Wikipedia says if one presents or identifies as a
member of the opposite sex then they are transgender.
So now we have one organization that says crossdressers are not transgender and another
that says crossdressers are transgender. Is one right and the other wrong?
Presenting as a member of the opposite sex…. Does this mean that Dustin Hoffman or Robin
Williams and other actors who crossdressed for a play or movie were transgender when they
dressed for their roles in the movies? Are ALL drag queens transgender? What about the
man who dresses as a woman for Halloween? I think we all would agree that when one does it
as part of their job and only because the job requires it, or does it as a stunt or costume, that
does not make them transgender.
While crossdressers do present themselves as member of the opposite sex, they do not
necessarily identify as members of the opposite sex. But then, maybe they do.
The compulsion, why is there such a compulsion to dress as members of the opposite sex?
Why cannot one rid themselves of this compulsion? Try as one might, throwing away the
clothes, getting married, getting into a macho profession, and yet the urge, the compulsion
remains. One might keep it in the closet for many years, and yet again that damm compulsion
returns and returns with a vengeance.
Getting married, starting a family, that compulsion is kept hidden from the wife and kids.
Dressing in private, never going out anywhere where we might be recognized, denial.
While perhaps the majority of wives cannot accept a husband who dresses as a woman, still
there are those who will accept and even help their husbands to look more feminine. They find
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it enjoyable to have a husband who is also their sister or their housemaid. Of course as long
as it is only crossdressing that can be accepted. But the thought of their husband becoming a
woman that is unacceptable to most. The accepting wife may often times set down rules like
no dressing in bed, or no dressing in front of the children. Some while they may accept that
their husband cross dresses do not want to even see them when they are enfemme.
Dual Gender, many of us will claim ourselves as dual gender, and I think in reality everyone is.
All of us have a little girl inside that wants out, wants to see HERSELF! The crossdresser has
a twin sister who wants to express herself as much as her brother expresses himself. She has
a need to grow just as her brother has grown.
For many of us living with a twin sister inside, allowing her out to express herself is all the need
that we have. For many of us we come to realize that our sister is who we are, that the brother
is a false front. It may take many years for us to come to that realization. We put our family
and job first, we may desire transition and yet we deny ourselves that need/desire for the sake
of others that we love.
Is the crossdresser transgender? I think in the majority of cases the answer is YES! It matters
not if we are dual gendered or if force the girl to remain hidden out of love for others. Unlike
the transsexual the crossdresser will sacrifice their own needs for the sake of others. As I write
I often think of the fact that so many women have done the very same thing. Given up dreams
or career for family. Sacrifice, a most feminine quality. The crossdresser is more than just a
woman, she is a real lady.
Accept yourself just as you are
VANESSA L AW
The greatest struggle we face is not from the
world, from others, from society. The greatest
struggle we face in the trans community is to look
within ourselves and accept the beautiful person
we are. Everything flows from there – all the joys
we experience, the people we meet and the life
lessons we learn. Today I’d like to share a
comment that a reader, Violette left on
Crossdresser Heaven a few weeks ago. It
touched me, and I pray that if can find a way into
your heart.
It is amazing how much of a difference accepting yourself can make. That feeling when you
can face the world proud of who you are and unafraid of what others will think. For me this
made all the difference in the world.
Unfortunately we will continue to deal with others who will not approve of our differences, or will
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try to mold us as you said into something that walks, talks and acts like them. What do we do
about it? Well until we accept ourselves we hide in our houses (or bedrooms and bathrooms
while we still live with our parents). We purge our clothes believing that without the means the
temptation will go away. We try to a void talking about things that would out us, and fight our
natural mannerisms so that people will believe in the character we have created to face the
outside world. We suffer within and thrash around trying to find a way to fit into their mold so
we wont have to deal with the torment they dish out.
As time goes on we realize that that our own reactions are making things worse. By hiding we
build an internal feeling of shame. By purging we realize that without the release from part time
dressing we build to a breaking point that adds stress to all aspects of our lives, not to mention
breaking the bank with repetitive shopping. By holding our tongues we find we want to scream,
or that we let slip more and more of what we want to say only to be met by jokes since we have
hidden who we really are in the beginning. Finally by avoiding who we are so others will believe
us “normal” we start to become the character we have created for their eyes which only causes
us more suffering as we see the distance to ourselves growing evermore.
Thank you Vanessa for this and you many other posts. I feel that acceptance is the most
important step in our journeys. No matter where you land in the gender spectrum it is important
to accept yourself as you are and recognize the beauty in the differences. Even if you don’t
know if you are a cd, tg, ts, tv, or whatever other term you can think of the acceptance of self is
indeed the first step in arming yourself against the attitudes of the unenlightened. Acquiring
others acceptance is still going to be a challenge especially with the stigmas around
transgender in the public past, however once others can see you as you and not as a distant
thing life can become more comfortable and at least some of the fears can be washed away.
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Lipstick Was a Sign of Wealth
Both men and women used to wear lipstick as a sign of wealth.
In the Roman Empire, both men and women wore lipstick as a display of wealth; only upper classes
could afford lip paint made with (dangerous) mercury that came in fashionable shades of merlot and
purple. So next time your partner's lips get a little red with your gloss, just go with it.
15 Surprising Lipstick Facts in One Sentence Each
Find out how much the average women spends on lipstick in her lifetime.
By Grace Gold
Whether you own one tube of lipstick or 36, you
probably don't know much about the history of
what you're swiping across your lips. That history,
it turns out, is fascinating. Decorating our lips
dates back to the Roman Empire — and yes, that's
both men and women we are talking about. And it
gets more interesting from there! From the First
Wave feminist movement to M onica Lewinsky's
infamous interview with Barbara Walters, here's a
brief tour of the life of lipstick:
1. In the early 1900s, women’s suffragette leaders Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Charlotte Perkins Gilman wore bright red lipstick to protest for the right to vote, and declared “lip rouge” an emblem of
women’s emancipation.
2. In the Roman Empire, both men and women wore lipstick as a display of wealth; only upper classes
could afford lip paint made with (dangerous) mercury that came in fashionable shades of merlot and
purple.
3. M en continued to wear lip color for centuries – including George Washington – but the look came to
an abrupt end during the French Revolution when wearing lipstick was seen as a sign that you
sympathized with the oppressive aristocracy.
4. A University of M anchester study found that a woman wearing red lipstick capture’s a man’s gaze
over three times longer than one who is wearing no lipstick at all.
5. Evolutionary experts say that warm lipstick shades appear most attractive because they mimic the
natural flush of lips when a woman is fertile, healthy and ovulating.
6. M any lipstick formulas contain animal-derived ingredients, like carmine from beetles to add color and
pearl essence from fish scales for shimmer. (Obviously this doesn't apply to vegan lipsticks.)
7. About 81% of American women wear lipstick, as compared to 70% of French women who tend to favor a more “au naturel” beauty look.
8. Two days after M onica Lewinsky’s highly-watched interview with Barbara Waters, Club M onaco’s
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Glaze lipstick was sold-out nation-wide as women clamored to buy the creamy nude hue.
9. The “lipstick effect” reveals the state of the economy; when recessions hit, lipstick sales increase as
more women boost their moods with a relatively affordable purchase.
10. Chicago serial killer William Heirens was known as the “Lipstick Killer” because the scene of his
second murder left a cryptic message inscribed in lipstick on the wall – “For heaven’s sake, catch me
before I kill more – I cannot control myself.”
11. In 1915, the Kansas state legislature introduced a bill that would have made it a crime for women
under the age of 44 to wear lipstick, under the grounds that it “created a false impression” (of what was
not explained!) — it did not pass.
12. Long-lasting lipstick was first invented in 1950 by biochemist Hazel Bishop, who discovered a formula made with lanolin and dye while furiously experimenting in her Central Park West apartment lab.
13. The average American woman spends $15,000 on makeup during her lifetime, with $3,770 of that
going towards lipstick.
14. In Pennsylvania in the 1700s, a marriage could be annulled on the deceptive grounds that a man’s
wife had used lipstick or other cosmetics during the couple’s courtship.
15. The best-selling lipstick in America in 2013 was M AC’s cherry red Ruby Woo – at $16 a tube, it
took a sizeable share of the total $377 million spent on lipstick that year.
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The best makeup techniques for your eye shape
For makeup that gives you that je-ne-sais-quoi, listen to the pros and tailor your look to your eye shape.
Brushes ready! |
By Julianne Adams
Almond
As Sofia Vergara’s bold look shows, almond eyes can do just about anything. “To
make them appear larger, apply a highlighter at the base of the lid and a darker
shade both slightly above the crease and on the outside corners of the eyes to add
depth,” says Taylor Babaian, makeup artist for stars such as
Elisabeth M oss and M ariah Carey. She recommends Elizabeth Arden's
Beautiful Color Eye Shadow in Truffle
Oval or prominent
“Oval and prominent eyes are very versatile,” says celebrity
makeup artist Sally Wang, who has worked with stars like M ichelle Williams and
Jada Pinkett Smith. “Cream eyeshadow pencils—I like Covergirl’s Flamed Out
Shadow Pencils are great for super-easy, fast application.” Take a note from Kerry
Washington and create a smoky eye with liner on the waterline (the name for the
area above the root of the lashes) to add a bit of sultriness. Wang recommends
Lancôme Artliner 24H . If an all-black smoky look is too harsh for you, opt for
khaki or gray tones, like Chanel’s Les 4 Ombres in Mystère, Prélude, Smoky Eyes,
or Raffinement .
Downturned
Katie Holmes’s thick lashes and light eyeshadow create a lifting effect. “A good
trick is to stop eyeshadow three quarters of the way out, before the eye starts to
turn down,” says makeup arist Evy Drew, who has worked with Ana Gasteyer. Use
a thicker brush, like M ake Up For Ever 236 Large Precision Blender Brush , to
apply shadow. This lets you blend upward more easily, which will de-emphasize
the eyes’ downward slope. “Then angle your eyeliner up at the end a bit.” Try long
-lasting L’Oréal Infallible Never Fail Eyeliner .
Wide-set
M iranda Kerr's simple liner just skims the outer edges of her eyes, which is the
ideal makeup boundary on wide-set eyes. Generally, color should be concentrated
in the center of the lid, though the spacing of the eyes means you can get away
with applying darker shadows close to the tear ducts for a more dramatic look. For
a simpler but still striking effect, Wang recommends Tarte Amazonian Clay
Eyeshadow Quad.
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Close-set
“With close-set eyes, you want to draw focus away from the center,” says Wang.
Sarah Jessica Parker’s liner works because it’s heaviest on the outer edges of her
eyes. For more of a daytime look, however, it’s best to avoid any dark colors near
the tear ducts. On close-set eyes, Babaian relies on the three-quarter rule of starting
color application one quarter of the way out from eyes’ innermost edges. She then
lightly applies a dab of highlighter, like Josie M aran Argan Illuminizer , in the
inner corners of the eyes and just under the brow bones.
Deep-set
If you look closely enough at M indy Kaling’s eyes, you’ll notice a layer of
shimmery shadow toward their inner corners and very little color elsewhere. For
deep-set eyes like the comedian’s, it’s best to keep shadows light, both in color
and application. “Go shiny with peach and beige tones,” says Drew. And instead
of applying dark shadow in the crease, contour by sweeping a neutral matte color
onto the brow bone. For darker skin tones like Kaling’s, we like M .A.C Eye
Shadow in Brun.
Hooded eyelids
Fans of House of Cards know that Robin Wright’s character usually wears little
more on her eyes than a splash of mascara. “Lashes are a great way to lift and
open hooded eyes,” says Drew. “Apply a thick liner on the outside corners above
the lashes, then curl fringe and brush on waterproof mascara.” For extra lift, add a
pair of false half-lashes, such as Taylor Babaian’s Kre-at , to the outer edges. As
for shadow, apply only above the crease and preempt with NARS Smudge Proof
Eyeshadow Base .
Small
Rashida Jones’s eyes appear much bigger than they really
are, in part because of the way her shadow has been applied. “Concentrate shadow
on both top and bottom lash lines to put thin eyes into proportion,” says Wang.
This way, narrow eyes garner greater attention on the face. Want even more pop?
Brighten the face around the eyes. Wang begins with a concealer base—she likes
La Prairie Anti-Aging Eye & Lips Perfection à Porter —to eliminate
puffiness and dark circles. Afterward, add a light-reflecting shadow, such as Dior
5 Couleurs Eyeshadow Palette in Grège #734 , extending across the lid and toward
the tear ducts.
No crease
While a smoky eye is often the go-to look, strong liner and heavy lashes can create
a stunning effect on Asian features. “Have fun with liner on the top lid," say Drew.
"Curl lashes and apply lots of mascara." As for shadow? "Just a sweep of matte or
shimmer powder looks great." Re-create model Liu Wen’s subtle cat eyes, or go
for a bolder look with Shiseido Accentuating Cream Eyeliner
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16 Expert Answers for Eyes, Lips, Skin
By Didi Gluck and Genevieve M onsma
WebM D Feature from "M arie Claire" M agazine
Q: Is Glitter Dangerous for Your Eyes?
A: “Glitter can be especially problematic for contact-lens wearers,” says M arc
Weinstein, an optometrist in New York City. “The little particles can get lodged under
lenses and scratch the cornea, which may lead to serious infection.” To avoid, put in
your contacts before applying glitter, and don’t rub your eyes once you’ve got it on.
And always, always remove eye makeup (and all makeup!) before bedtime. Try
Lancôme Effacil Cleansing Lotion for Eyes.
Q: Are Cellulite Creams a S cam?
A: No studies have ever shown that ingredients in cellulite creams truly help eliminate skin dimpling,
says Ariel Ostad, M .D., clinical assistant professor of dermatology at New York University M edical
Center. But you may see a small improvement upon application, since massaging a cream into the skin
helps increase blood flow to the area, evening skin tone and smoothing lumpiness. However, this effect
does not require a special cream (any body lotion will do), and the results are only temporary.
Q: Does Putting Hemorrhoid Cream on Eye Bags Really Shrink Them?
A: Yes, says Fredric Brandt, M .D., a cosmetic dermatologist with practices in New York City and
M iami. The active ingredient in most hemorrhoid creams, benzocaine, causes blood vessels to contract,
which reduces puffiness. The downsides? Hemorrhoid cream can be dehydrating, says M ona
Sappenfield, an aesthetician and the owner of M ona Spa & Laser Centers, so you may be shrinking your
bags, but inducing fine lines and irritation. Also, one can develop an allergy to benzocaine with overuse,
so limit your applications to emergencies, says Bruce Katz, M.D., founder and director of the Juva Skin
& Laser Center and M ediSpa in NYC.
Q: How Can I Keep My Eyeshadow From Creasing?
A: “By eliminating as much oil as possible from your lids,” says celebrity makeup artist Tina Turnbow.
To do it, use an eyeshadow base (such as Fresh Freshface Perfecting Eye Primer) or pressed powder
before applying color. Turnbow also advises choosing looser, more powdery shadows if creasing is a
problem for you, because the binders they contain (ingredients that hold pigments together) are less oily.
And stay away from shimmery shades, since they tend to crease more noticeably. Try Bourjois Suivez
M on Regard M ulti Shimmer Loose Eye Shadow.
Q: How Can I S afely Get Rid of a Tattoo?
A: Lasering, particularly with the Alexandrite and ND-Yag lasers, will get rid of most tattoos, says Dr.
Brandt. But one laser cannot remove all colors, so be sure to go to someone with a variety of lasers—and
lots of experience. Pastels or brand-new tattoos are typically hardest to remove, and browns may get
darker if the pigment contains any iron, so always ask for a patch test first. The process typically takes
between four and eight treatments (which can add up to $1000 or more), with a week of downtime in
between each, says Dr. Ostad.
Q: Is There a S afe Way to Pop a Zit?
A: There is, but it takes time to do it right, explains Fabienne Guichon-Lindholm, an aesthetician and
director of communication for the skincare company Decléor. First, hold a warm compress against the
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area for a few minutes. Next, wrap each pointer finger in facial tissue and place them (not too close
together) on either side of the blemish. Then, exerting pressure first down then up, gently work the clog
out. Postextraction, use a toner and a mask for oily skin to tighten pores.Try Clean & Clear Clarifying
Toner and Decléor Aroma Pureté Instant Purifying M ask.
Q: How Do I Find the Right Foundation?
A: Take heart—it is hard to find a perfect match, says British makeup artist Jemma Kidd. “There are
millions of skin tones, and only a finite number of makeup shades.” What to do if you can’t pinpoint the
right one? M ix two—one slightly lighter and one slightly darker than your skin. Test them on your
cheek, which is more indicative of your true coloring than your jawline. And be sure to check the color
in natural light or by a window. If you’re oily, look for a mattifying or powder formula, and if you’re
dry, try a hydrating cream—and stay away from cream-to-powder potions, which tend to sap moisture
from skin. For oily skin, try Clinique Perfectly Real Com pact M akeup and M aybelline New York Pure
Stay Powder and Foundation; for dry skin, try Jemma Kidd Soft Touch Crème Foundation and Clarins
True Comfort Foundation.
Q: Can Waxing Over a Mole Cause Cancer?
A: The worry expressed by some doctors is that waxing over moles—especially the raised variety, in
which precancerous cells may be present—could precipitate a cancerous spread. This is not so, says
Jeffrey Dover, M .D., director of Skincare Physicians in Boston. But he still advises against waxing over
any irregularly shaped or raised mole (“why even risk irritation?”). And be sure to have the mole evaluated by your primary care physician or a dermatologist.
Q: Does Cutting Your Cuticles Make Them Grow Back Faster?
A: No, says Ji Baek, owner of New York City’s posh Rescue Beauty Lounge. Even so, you really
shouldn’t cut them (though snipping a hangnail here or there is fine), as they’re there to protect your nail
bed from germs. Instead, gently push them back daily with a hand towel after showering. And, after you
apply moisturizer or eye cream at night, rub the excess onto your cuticles to keep them soft.
Q: Do Pheromones in Perfume Really Turn Men On?
A: For now, the answer is no—but that doesn’t stop the fragrance companies from trying! (See
Pheromone and Pherose perfumes.) “Releaser pheromones” are reputed to be able to attract the opposite
sex among some animal species. Humans can and do detect pheromones; however, there is no good
evidence that we can actually use them to lure in a mate, says Charles J. Wysocki, a member of the
M onell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia. Until scientists get to the bottom of the pheromone
debate, expect these substances to keep popping up in perfumes.
Q: Can You Develop an Allergy to Cosmeceuticals Over Time?
A: What you’re probably experiencing if you suddenly develop an adverse reaction to an alphahydroxyacid product, vitamin-C serum, or retinoid (i.e., Retin-A or retinol) after using it for a while is increased
sensitivity, not necessarily an allergy, says Jeannette Graf, M .D., a dermatologist in private practice in
Great Neck, NY. The reason? M any of these products disrupt your skin’s normal way of functioning,
which, though it may provide instant benefits, leaves you less able to tolerate environmental aggressors
(not to mention sunlight) with continued use. “Irritation is never desirable,” says Dr. Graf. “Don’t think
you need to get worse to get better.” If you suffer from redness, itching, or puffiness as a direct result of
applying a product, discontinue using it immediately. Contact your dermatologist if the reaction doesn’t
subside in two days.
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Q: What’s the Point of Wearing Sun Protection as an Adult if 80 Percent of Damage Happens
Before Age 18?
A: Sun damage is a two-hit process, says Dr. Ostad: True, most damage does happen during childhood,
but it is sun exposure as an adult that brings the damage to the surface in the form of sunspots,
discoloration, wrinkles—and cancer. Limiting your sun exposure (and wearing a fullspectrum sunscreen
of at least SPF 30) in adulthood will help to hide, and even reverse, the sun sins of your youth.
Q: Can Botox Prevent Wrinkles?
A: Yes—but only where there is a muscle contraction (Botox works by freezing muscle contractions),
such as beside the eyes, between the eyebrows, or across the forehead. Regular creasing does eventually
leave a permanent line, says Dr. Brandt. Botox will do nothing, however, to ward off fine lines across
the cheekbones, which can only be “prevented” by using sunscreen, not smoking, and using products
that encourage collagen production.
Q: Will S having My Bikini Line Make It Grow Back Faster?
A: Shaving will make hair grow back faster than waxing, says Lidia Tivichi, an aesthetician at the
Kimara Ahnert salon in New York City. When you wax, you damage the hair follicle, which retards
growth. You’re also nabbing hair deep below your skin’s surface, which makes it reappear more slowly.
“Providing you don’t have hormonal issues that cause hair growth, the longer you wax, the more sparse
it will become,” Tivichi says. “Eventually, hair will hardly grow back.”
Q: Is Permanent Makeup S afe?
A: There are few serious health risks, but there are some aesthetic ones, says Dr. Katz. First, much like a
tattoo, permanent eye- or lipliner will fade and blur over time, so eyeliner may grow to look more like
eyeshadow, says Dr. Katz. You must also beware of laser treatments after getting permanent makeup,
says Dr. Brandt. The iron pigment in the makeup can darken if lasers are used on the area—and that
effect is irreversible. M oreover, permanent makeup can break up under the skin and “float” around the
face, although this may not be obvious until lasering is done and you end up with black spots on your
forehead. Proceed with caution.
Q: How Bad Is S ugar for My S kin?
A: The jury is still out, but recent findings suggest that eating excess sugar can trigger a process called
“glycation,” which may accelerate skin aging by decreasing its supply of collagen and elastin.
Additionally, sweets could contribute to acne flare-ups, says Dr. Katz, since they rev up all the body’s
natural functions, including oil production. Not willing to curb your sugar intake? Prescriptives has introduced Anti- AGE Advanced Protection Lotion, which is said to slow the glycation process.
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13 Easy and Useful Curling Iron Hacks
Every Girl Should Know
Curly hair has a very feminine, youthful look, but it isn’t always
easy to achieve. But, professional and effortless curls are a cinch
with these easy to follow tips. Even if you’re a curling wand
master, you could always use a few more tricks up your sleeve.
Size M atters
When it comes to curling wands, the size of the barrel makes a big difference in the appearance of your
curls. Smaller barrels create tighter curls, whereas larger barrels create loose waves.
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Double Take
Yes, curling wands and curling irons create
different curls, but there is no need to go out and
buy both tools. If you already have a curling iron
all you need is a screwdriver and you’ve got
yourself a wand. Just unscrew the clip from your
iron!
No Effort Waves
Well, these waves take a little effort, but it’s
very minimal. If you want a quick, loose
look, put your hair in a very high ponytail.
Then curl the pony. Once the hair is curled
and cool, let it down and shake it out.
Curl Away
If you want a natural, casual look make
sure you curl your hair in the direction
away from your face on both sides. Then
tell people you woke up like that because
your hair will be that flawless.
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Looks That Last
If your hair cannot hold a curl, this trick might change
your life. Start curling at the root, instead of halfway
down your hair. This locks in the heat, making your curls
last way longer.
Low Heat
So you know that girl who is famous on YouTube for burning off her hair? Don’t let that be
you. If you have fine, thin, or color treated hair
set the temperature below 200 degrees
Fahrenheit. Unless you like the burnt hair look,
never go above 400 degrees.
Style Then Curl
Your perfect hairdo all starts with how you style your
hair before you curl it. For loose, natural curls let your
hair air-dry. For curls with mega volume, blow-dry your
hair first. For sleek curls, quickly run a straightener
through your hair on low heat.
Vertical vs. Horizontal
Another way to control the look of your curls is
to hold the curling tool in a specific direction.
For looser curls, hold the iron vertically. If you
want tighter, bouncier curls, hold the iron
horizontally. Who knew curling hair was such a
science?
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Cleaning is Key
You need to clean your iron regularly to avoid
product buildup. An easy way to clean the tool
without damaging it is to let it heat up until its warm.
Then wipe off the buildup with a wet cloth. M ake
sure you are on the lowest heat setting so you don’t
burn yourself.
M aterial Girl
If you are in the market for a new curling
iron, know what type of material will best fit
your needs. Ceramic barrels have even heat
distribution, which minimizes damage.
Tourmaline emits a lot of negative ions,
which leaves your hair smooth and shiny.
Titanium provides the smoothest surface so it
prevents snagging and sticking.
Divide and Conquer
If your curls don’t last or are too loose,
you could be curling too much hair at
once. Divide your hair into one inch
sections for a more effective curl.
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Wet 'n' Wild Hair
If you curl your hair while it is wet,
or even damp, you will end up with
wildly frizzy and damaged ends.
Take the time to dry your hair or let
it air-dry, unless you like the fried
look.
Clip the Curls
If you want bouncy curls, use a bobby pin
to clip the curls to your head, hot off the
barrel. When you have curled your whole
head, unclip your curls and spritz them with
a little hairspray.
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What your nails are trying to tell you about your
health
By Augusta Falletta | Beauty High
Whether or not you’re into nail polish, paying
attention to your nails is pretty important.
Yes, we love a good ruby red lacquer that
makes our hands look gorgeous, but once the
polish comes off, your nails are always trying
to tell you something. If your nails are
constantly peeling, that can be an indicator of
how you digest food. If you’re experiencing a
lot of yellowing, it’s a possible sign of fungus. Regardless of what you’re doing with
your nails, you need to start reading the signs
they’re sending. Below, we’ve listed out
what’s going on with your nails, and what
exactly they’re trying to tell you.
Peeling: If your nails are peeling, it could mean that you’ve got a deficiency when it comes to mineral
absorption. While this can be caused by something as minuscule as not chewing your food enough, it
could also mean a low amount of acid in your stomach, which means that your food isn’t properly
digested.
Dry Cuticles: This one may seem obvious, but dry cuticles means you’re lacking in the hydration
department. Especially if you work in an office where you’re constantly washing your hands or you’re
always washing dishes (and particularly in the winter), resolve to use cuticle oil at least once a day to
keep your fingers in great shape. If you can’t use cuticle oil, massage hand cream into your cuticles
while you’re applying it to your hands.
White S pots: While most people believe that white spots on nails are actually a sign of a calcium
deficiency, they can actually be a small area of nail fungus or a tiny result of trauma to the nail like
bumping or dinging your finger. If there is pain in your nail, seek medical attention to treat fungus. If
there’s no pain and it’s likely the result of trauma, the white spot must simply grow out (which can take
up to eight months).
Breaking: There are a few reasons why your nails could be breaking, and they range from harmless to
significant. Your nails could be breaking because they’re exposed to water, soap or detergent for too
long, or they could be breaking for more serious reasons, like endocrine disorders or malnutrition. The
key to determining which is causing your nails to break is to take notice of whether your nail’s thickness,
color, etc. have changed over time. If you notice a change in your nails and stop exposing them to water
and detergent, yet the change persists, see your doctor.
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Yellowing: Besides smoking, your fingers could be turning yellow due to a few reasons. First, it could
be nail fungus, which can be taken care of with an anti-fungal medication from your doctor. If it’s not
nail fungus, your nails could be turning yellow because you paint them too often and you neglect to use a
base coat. As a rule of thumb, give your nails about three days with no polish every three weeks or so,
and be sure to use a clear base coat to avoid polish staining your nail bed.
Dark Vertical Lines of Color: While dark marks underneath nails could be benign moles underneath
your nail bed, single, new bands of color could also indicate melanoma. If you notice this, see your
dermatologist immediately.
Hard as Rock: If your nails are hard as rock, strong and don’t break easily, it’s a good sign that you’re
in good health. Keep up the good diet, exercise and nail care regimen!
Separating From the Bed: Nails separating from the bed can be due to injury or infection, a reaction to
a drug, thyroid disease or psoriasis. Once there is space between the nail and the bed, infections can occur underneath the nail. M ost times, nails will reattach themselves to the bed within a few months, but if
you think you may have a more serious condition, seek your doctor’s guidance.
How to Make Your Manicure Last
By Shelley Levitt
WebM D Feature
Keeping your nails looking their polished best is simple. Good manicure habits will also protect the
health of your nails.
Follow these seven steps and your manicure should last seven to 10 days.
1. Go S horter.
Talons not only look dated -- they’re more likely to split, break, and may even become detached from
the nail bed.
"The longer the nail is, the more it acts like a lever," says dermatology professor C. Ralph Daniel III,
MD, of the University of M ississippi M edical Center. "Any kind of force can lift the nail plate upward
and away from its bed."
A chic and modern length is a nail that extends ever so slightly beyond the tip of your finger.
2. Shape Them Up.
Slightly oval or rounded nails with the corners left square is the easiest shape to maintain, says Wendy
Lewis, a beauty consultant and author of Beauty Secrets: The Complete Lowdown on Skin, Hair and
Body Treatments.
Sculpt your nails with a fine-grade emery board. Look for one in your drugstore or beauty supply shop
that has the grit marked (the higher the number, the finer the grit), and choose a grit of 280/320.
Or try a four-sided buffer, which has surfaces of varying grittiness for shaping, smoothing, buffing, and
shining.
File gently in one direction. If you saw back and forth, you'll weaken the tips of your nails, and that can
lead to shredding or peeling.
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3. Prep Before Polish.
If you have vertical ridges on your nails, create a smooth surface by applying a ridge-filling strengthener.
Or, buff away the ridges with the fine side of a four-sided buffer.
Use restraint. If you buff too aggressively, you'll make the problem worse by thinning out the nail plate.
"A good rule of thumb is if you feel heat or friction, back off," says Julie Serquinia, owner of The Paint
Shop Beverly Hills nail salon in Beverly Hills, Calif.
Before you apply polish, swab nails with alcohol to remove any oily residue from creams or lotions. Any
trace of oil will cause the polish to lift and peel, says Nancy Reagan, owner of Bella Reina Spa in Delray
Beach, Fla.
4. Skip the S oak.
Dunking your fingertips into a little bowl of liquid is a standard step in most salon manicures. But it's
actually a bad idea.
Your nail beds expand when you submerge them in water, and then shrink back when they dry, causing
the new coat of polish to loosen. The purpose of the water soak is to assist in softening the cuticle, but a
better idea is to use a cuticle softener, Reagan says. "These do a superb job of softening the cuticle so
you don't need water," she says.
5. Moisturize Your Nails Nightly.
Dehydrated nails are more likely to break and split, while moisture-starved cuticles can become ragged,
leading to those unsightly pieces of dead skin called hangnails.
The most efficient way to nourish parched nail beds and cuticles is with nightly use of a cuticle oil, says
Jill Weinstein, M D, an instructor of clinical dermatology at Northwestern University Feinberg School of
M edicine. Keep a tube on your bedside table, suggests Weinstein, and apply a couple of drops around
each nail, massaging into the cuticle. This simple step will help your manicure last longer, since brittle
nails chip more easily.
6. Use a Base Coat.
Applying a base coat will help nail polish stick and wear longer.
When you move on to lacquer, keep your brush strokes to a minimum and your coats to two. The fewer
strokes you use to cover your nail, the less chance of streaks, Lewis says. You'll also avoid creating the
air pockets and bubbles that can be caused by thick layers of polish, Reagan says.
7. Add a Topcoat.
Defend against chips by applying polish and topcoat across the top edge of your nails. This is called a
"seal."
M aintain the manicure by putting a new topcoat on the entire nail every other day.
Still, even with the best defense, chips happen. Fix chips by soaking a cotton swab in nail-polish
remover and dabbing it on and around the scratch or nick to even out the surface, Serquinia says. Apply
a thin coat of nail polish and follow with a topcoat.
If you get a manicure in a salon, take steps to avoid getting an infection. Bring your own instruments or
choose a salon that uses a device called an autoclave to sanitize instruments between clients. The
autoclave does a better job of killing infectious germs than the green-blue disinfectant that you see in
jars on your manicurist's station, says dermatologist Jeanie Leddon, M D, PhD, of Lafayette, Colo.
Also, don’t trim your cuticles. Cuticles seal the gap between the nail and skin. Remove or damage this
protective seal and germs can infiltrate, potentially casing infections. Instead, keep cuticles tidy by using
a cuticle oil and gently pushing them back with a cotton swab.
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All About Wigs
By: Karen of FemmeFever
Part 4 How To Store Your Wig
Storing your wig properly is more important than you may think. Storing a wig in such a way
that it can get tangled will result in a difficult to manage wig, and will ultimately affect the life of
the wig.
Before you put your wig away, be sure to spray it with Margu Revitalizer Spra y. This is
help to remove tangles, make for much easier brushing or combing, and refresh the
wig – making it soft and odor free.
After spraying it, use a wide tooth comb or wig brush and, taking a small
section at a time, comb or brush through the wig. *Tip: Use your fingers
going downward in sections through the wig if combing it is pulling on it too
much.
Placing the wig on you knee or a sturdy wig “head” will make brushing it much
easier..
Now your wig is ready to be stored in one of two ways:
1)
Wig Stand or Wig Head – This is your best bet. Simply place the wig
on the stand as though it is on your head. Keep it away from smoke and it
will be ready to wear. If your wig is not short- a stand is your very best
bet. *Tip: Prefer collapsable wig stands to Styrofoam wig heads as you can
use a stand when washing your wig without mold, or dirt, which Styrofoam
tends to collect, when wet (and dry). A collapsable stand is also easy to
pack when traveling.
2)
Wig Bag or Wig Box: (If you have neither, a large zip lock heavy-duty
bag Or a shoebox will do) – For a short wig gently place it in the box or bag;
folding it over if you must. If your wig is long and straight, I suggest a loose
braid and gently rolling it up LOOSELY to help it stay UN-tangled while being
stored. Curly Wigs will retain their bounce better if stored upside down.
More Tips:
~ Do not store your wig while it is dirty. Depending on the conditions you wear your wig (heat,
humidity, le vel of sweating, worn with or without a wig cap, smoky environment etc.) will
determine how often you should wash your wig. Good rule of thumb: wash it every 8-10 wears
unless you feel it needs to be cleaned sooner.
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24
The Adventures of Judy Sometimes
Judy Danials
2 for 1
A while back I wrote about my old friend Daylen who is slowly drinking himself to death. He and I
along with several other friends had a standing Happy Hour date several nights a week many years
ago at a place called the Empire. We'd get together over drinks and discuss daily events and solve world
problems.
I knew once I came out I would probably lose his friendship as he is extremely homophobic and had
already shunned one of his cousins for being gay. Sure enough once he saw me dressed, that was it, I
was cut out of his life. Did it hurt, of course, but I knew that a head of time so the sting didn't last as long
as it had with a couple others whose friendships I lost.
Over the last 6-7 years we have run into each other many many times and we both pretty much ignore
each other existents...until a few nights ago anyway. I was downtown having cocktails with my wife and
friend Brittney when in walks Daylen. Nothing different than most times I see him, looking very
disheveled and extremely intoxicated.
Towards the end of Happy Hour we decided to move on and have one more at Specks. As we came
walking through the door, who do we see sitting at the bar, that right, Daylen. Apparently he had slipped
out the door and made his way there at some point. Anyway, before we could even settle in I hear him
say to the bartender, these drinks are on me. As he was saying that I had walked over and "signed the
book", when I returned to my stool at the bar Daylen was standing there with his hand extended. At first
I just ignored him, but then he says to me, aren't you going to at least shake my hand. I said, of course
and also thanked him for the drink. Then there were a few awkward moments of silence before he
returned to where he was sitting. I then leaned over to Brittney and said, wow, now what. That when she
got up and went over and tried to engage in some conversation with him. Truthfully he was just too
incoherent to even hold a decent conversation...and before we knew it he was gone. I'm not sure where
our relationship will go from here, but at least I know the door appears to have reopened.
As we sat discussing what had just happened a guy named M ark caught our attention by buying us
each a drink too. Of course when I guy does this it usually means he wants to chat and before I knew it
he had pulled a stool up next to me. He says to me, I couldn't help but hear what you were talking about
and thought it was about time I came over and properly introduced myself.
Now, truthfully M ark is not unknown to us as I have seen him around here and there for probably 30
years or more, we just don't run in the same crowd. When we started coming into Specks a couple years
back we discovered he was pretty much a regular there. He's an interesting guy in the fact that he is a
biker, but isn't an active member in any of the clubs around the FM area, but hangs with them all. He's
25
the kind of guy that usually comes in very late and helps around the bar and walks the female patrons out
to their cars at closing time.
So, anyway, we get into a rather lengthy conversation about how I got where I am today and I gotta say,
for a "biker" he's a pretty good guy. M ost of the hard core guys just give me the stink eye and shake their
heads at me. Like I told M ark, once you get to know me, you can see I'm just a normal person...don't
judge me for what I wear, judge me for what’s in my heart..
Judy ( 2 at a time tonight) sometimes
Módhnóirí
A LITTLE BIT OF HIS TORY
BY
BARBARA MARIE DAVIDS ON
M any of you know from reading the papers or watching T.V. that this year is the 50th anniversary of The
“War in Vietnam”. On M arch 8th 1965, 3500 marines came ashore on a beach near DaNang to protect
an airbase there during sorties to the north (Rolling Thunder). By the end of the year, there were 135,000
American military there. 10 years later over 2.7 million military hade served in Vietnam with 58,00
killed (KIA) or missing (M IA). In 1968, I made my first trip to the “far East” as an “aeromedic” in the
GA Air National Guardas I flew to Tokyo and then flew M edivac (with wounded military personnel)
from there back to Alaska. I then I made another trip back to Tokyo with a second M edivac flight back
to Andrews Air force base. Then I went back to Savannah and home.
In 1967 I graduated from Nursing school and in 1969, I joined the U S Navy going from an E5 (staff
Sgt)(USAF) to an 01 (ensign) (USN). In 1972, I was attached to a surgical team from Camp Pendleton
and sent to Vietnam. I flew from Dulles to San Francisco International. From Travis field California, I
flew to Clark Air force Base in the Philippines. There I met my ship, a Helicopter Assault Carrier, as
well as the members of the surgical team I was assigned to go with. The ship looked like a small air craft
carrier but handled a squadron of Helio’s. We were attached to a battalion of marines on the ship and
were to be their medical support if they were deployed ashore. (Which did not happen.) We also augmented the ships medical staff for daily sick call, etc. A week before we left the Gulf of Tonkin, the
USS New Port News had a gun turret explosion as a round went off in the turret Killing a number of
sailors and putting at least 35 sailors in to sick bay aboard our ship. Five were placed in “ICU” for
smoke inhalation. Since there were only two nurses on the ship (my self and a Nurse Anesthesia) we
had to work port and starboard for six days (12 on and 12 off. Two of the five were on the respirators).
We were able to off load all of the patients on arrival to Okinawa. We, as well as the M arines, were also
off loaded and I returned to the states and home to Patuxent River, MD. Thus, Yes I am a Vietnam
Veteran.
Fast forward to Novenber/Decenber 2010 time frame I went back to Vietnam with the lady who manages
Luxury Nails and Spa (a nail salon here in Statesboro, GA). We stayed with her family that still lives in
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a small village about 4 hours from Saigon. During the first several months of 2011, I wrote several
articles about my trip. They were published in the PTG M agazine over a several month span. However
when I went to Vietnam in 2010, my passport had all my male information but an ambiguous photo as I
flew in my femme mode and took no male cloths with me.
Now it is five years later and I will be going back to Vietnam for the third time with Diane (the same
lady I went with before). We will be leaving the middle of June and will be back about 2 ½ weeks later
in July.. We are going to a wedding and will be staying with her family again while we are there. This
time I have an up dated passport with my femme name and photo. The only thing this time it says – sex
male. We are planning to have dresses made while we are there for the wedding. I am hopping to have 2
or 3 made to bring home…
As it stands now, we will drive to Atlanta on the 15th of June and then Fly out on the morning of the 16th
on Delta heading for Tokyo instead of Seoul, S.K. In Tokyo, we will switch to Vietnamese air lines for
the final trip to Saigon. As before it will be about midnight when we arrive there. As far as dates they
are a day ahead of us. Also if it is 1800 (6 pm) here, it is 6 am there. Also the temperatures there at this
time of year fluctuate between low mid 80’s at night and mid 90’s in the day with you token rain storm
in the afternoons.
After we have rested up for a day, we will be going to a seamstress to have dresses made for a wedding
as she has a cousin getting married while we are there. I am hoping to have 2 or 3 made as it is about
$35 to $40 including the material to have them made. They are a two-piece outfit with a long dress slit
to the waist on both sides and matching solid slacks to be worn with heels. These dresses are form fitted
thus they can not be let out but the can be slightly taken in if the case warrant it. There are some summer
styles where the dress comes to the knee instead of the ankle but the design is the same. The rest of the
time we will be doing some “Traveling” as we are planning to go to DaNang for a day as well as to a
beach, Visit her only living grand parent left and who know what else
Now that I have laid the ground work for several more articles, which will consist of what happened
during week one and week two. I wish want to wish everyone a very happy fourth on July for the birth of
this great nation of ours and don’t celebrate too hard with the fifth. Also don’t eat too much as you
celebrate the Fourth and or/the Fifth. With that I wish you a Bon Voyage (English); Turas M ath dhut/
dhuibh! (galiac)` iBuen viaje! (Spanish) or Len durong binh an (Vietnamese).
Yours
BARBARA M DAVIDSON, RN
LCDR/USN/RETIRED NAVY NURSE
VIETNAM VETERAN
27
How Exactly Do You Teach Femininity?
By Ale x Morris
On a recent Friday afternoon, Stacey Johnson
found herself in need of a wig. It’s not that she
hadn’t brought a couple with her to New York from
Los Angeles, where she lives. It’s just that the ones
she brought weren’t doing her any fa vors.
"They’re like hair hats,” said Monica Prata, Stacey’s
feminine image consultant. “Um, no.”
Which was exactly the kind of feedback that Stacey
had hired Monica to deliver. Over the past seven
years, and especially since founding her company Nouveau She in 2008, Monica has worked
with hundreds of transgender women, helping them navigate the tricky terrain of feminine
signifiers. For around $130 an hour, Monica’s standard rate as a stylist (“I’m not going to upsell
them just because they’re trans”), she will provide hair, makeup, and wardrobe makeovers, not
to mention guidance on facial feminization and gender reassignment surgery, vocal training,
home redecoration, and “comportment.” She’s helped clients write letters to their families.
She’s paced their transitions, recommending that they give themselves time to process each
change as it comes. And she can be relied upon to give her honest opinion about what looks
feminine—and what doesn’t. “Passable is kind of a dirty word. It’s not okay to impose upon
somebody the idea that they need to look a certain way,” she’d told me earlier. “But if somebody comes to me and says, ‘I want to look and sound and talk completely like a woman,’ I’ll
give them what they want.”
For Stacey, that means no hair hats. Especially
not that night, which was to be a major
milestone: For the first time, she was going to
meet a member of her family in femme. It was a
daunting prospect, and Stacey was anxious
about how she would look. At that moment, she
looked like a middle-aged dad in baggy jeans and
a polo shirt. There was much to be done.
Though it was only Monica’s third face-to-face
meeting with Stacey, the y’d been in touch for
months now. Monica knew that Stacey had
always felt that she was really a woman, that her sisters caught her dressing in their clothes
when she was 5, that she got married at 22 and her wife of 35 years had no idea about any of
this, that she suffers from erectile dysfunction, that she dreams of taking hormones but worries
that her family doctor will notice, that she wants a nose job, and that she’d prefer a long wig,
one that she can feel swish and swing about her shoulders, even though Monica has
repeatedly told her that a shorter one would look better.
“Remember, when hair gets too long, it loses its volume,” Monica said as Stacey tried on a
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long, drab wig at a store on the eighth floor of a
building in the west 30s. “You look like a mom
that’s taking her kids to the mall in the suburbs.
Right? Like you drive a minivan,” said Monica,
scrunching her nose. Next up was a wig that
was dark and curly (“Oh my God! You’re like an
Italian woman married to a guy in the mob — a
really hot mob wife”), followed by a blonde (“Now
you’re like a lady that works at a hair salon and
frosts her hair — or Jennifer Anniston from
Friends. This is ‘the Rachel!’”). They eventually
settled on one of the very first wigs Stacey had
tried, a lovely and pricey auburn number with I’ve-just-had-a-blowout waves, which they had
trimmed by a very obliging saleslady. When the cut was over, the wig fell just below Stacey’s
shoulders, a length that still had movement, but seemed appropriate for a professional woman
in her 50s.
Stacey ran her fingers through it and tossed her head back and forth. “I like it,” she said,
smiling.
Monica Prata possesses the sort of femininity that announces itself. Even without makeup and
lugging an overnight bag through the bowels of Penn Station at a painfully early hour, she has
a glamorously rumpled look — all mussed curls and slender curves. We’re heading to
Washington, D.C., to meet two of her clients, and to introduce them to each other. (An ancillary
service she provides is access to her extensive network of trans women.) These clients fit her
main demographic: middle-aged, white, married with children, and upper-middle class.
“They’ve li ved most of their lives as white men, so they make white-man money,” Monica
points out — a good thing, since transitioning can cost several hundred thousand dollars. Greta
is a cardiologist and one of Monica’s “congruency” clients — someone who appreciates her
maleness but also wants to tap into her feminine side; the goal is to find fluency between the
two, not jettison one for the other. But Kimberly’s assigned gender weighs on her heavily. A
former officer in the Marine Corps who wears a silver cross bracelet and frequently seems on
the verge of tears, she would probably transition if it didn’t mean giving up her family and
maybe even her faith.
Despite these considerations, Monica thinks
Kimberly will transition one day, or at least that
she should — though she would only say that if
Kimberly asked her directly. “My clients walk in
my door and their deepest, darkest secret, the
thing that they’re most ashamed of, that they’re
most afraid of, that they have been hiding from
everybody, is the very subject of our discussion,” she says. “It’s like starting at the core of
a human being and working your way out.”
Monica stumbled into this line of work ten
years ago when, as a 17-year-old salesperson
29
at a Nordstrom department store in suburban
Chicago, she’d notice guys coming in late at
night to shop for girlfriends she was pretty sure
didn’t exist. “They were like, ‘Oh, she’s gorgeous, but she’s a little bit broader and on the
tall side,’ and I’d look for dresses that I knew
would fit him and also a great pair of khakis” to
give him an excuse to go in a dressing room and
try it all on. She ran into the same issues later
when she worked as a makeup artist at M.A.C:
“When a guy approached the counter and said, ‘I
want to get my makeup done as a woman,’ the
other artists would be like, ‘Oh, are you in a play? Do you have a hickey or a blemish I'm
covering up?’ I would watch this incredibly uncomfortable exchange happen constantly, and so
I decided to work with all those customers.” But it wasn’t until she responded to a Craigslist ad
for a personal stylist, and Randy turned out to want to be styled as Randi, that she realized that
she’d stumbled upon a sort of calling. “It gave me a sense of empowerment that I didn’t have
making an already beautiful woman more beautiful,” she says.
By then, Monica had also learned how few resources there were for the trans community. The
scattered boutiques that catered to them peddled spandex miniskirts, thigh-high boots, and
fishnet stockings. “The shittiest pieces of clothing for twice what they would cost you anywhere
else,” says Monica. “It was as if that boutique was saying to that individual, ‘Your feminine self
is only for sex. Your feminine self is only to be objectified.’ And that did not sit well with me.”
Meanwhile, of the few male-to-female coaches out there (“I can count on two hands every
person who sort of does what I do”), many had pageant backgrounds and taught that
fun-house version of femininity that in volves a toothy smile and a stiff walk. Others had more of
a drag aesthetic, performative and brash rather than subtle and sincere. “One is a former porn
star who asks you to take off all your clothes and pray to this pink candle,” Monica said, arching a perfectly plucked eyebrow. Then there were the transition studios with their stock wigs
and stock makeup and stock clothing, and their imperative to fit into a certain cookie-cutter
mold of femininity that doesn’t really exist in the natural world.
It was a reaction against this stock femininity that led Monica to question what femininity
actually is. “We’re not necessarily reading that someone has a vagina,” she points out. “We’re
reading that they look, behave, and sound like a woman. I mean, a lot of people view their
gender on a social level, so it doesn’t make a difference what’s under their clothes.” If, she
reasoned, her clients had a deeply felt internal identification based on their response to stimuli
— a person can feel that they have a more typically “female” response or a more typically
“male” one, despite how that person is socialized — then it was her job to give them
congruency by helping the outgoing message match the incoming ones.
To further drive home the point that a vagina alone does not a female make, Monica has had
clients come to her having fully transitioned, but still not feeling that society was accepting
them as women. That’s when Monica, the stylist, realized she needed to expand her repertoire
of services. But first, she needed to parse those gender signifiers that she, as a ciswoman, had
learned by osmosis. “It takes a lot of observations, but I knew what I was looking for because
my clients were telling me, ‘I don’t know what to do here.’”
30
Now she teaches her clients not just the obvious mannerisms of femininity — women have
softer handshakes, for example — but the ones that operate on a more subconscious level:
Women use more words to express the same ideas, they use more colorful language, they
open their eyes more when they speak, they smile more, they lean forward more, they touch
their faces, they touch each other, they keep their elbows closer to their bodies and take up
less space in a room and apologize more and preface their opinions with qualifiers and are
more likely to let themselves be interrupted.
As a feminist, Monica finds many of these
signifiers troubling: What does it say about society
that the subconscious gender cues that cast
women as submissive are the ones that actually
work? At a panel late last year, feminist icon bell
hooks attacked Orange Is the New Black star
Laverne Cox for catering to stereotypes of
femininity — a charge that Cox did not entirely
dispute (“Am I feeding the patriarchal gaze with
my blonde wig?” Cox asked. “Yes,” hooks quickly
replied). Even to undertake the goal of mastering
gender signifiers can be controversial in a culture
that’s moving, haltingly, toward larger acceptance of the transgender community. Yet most of
Monica’s clients don’t want to be viewed as trans; they want to be viewed as women, because
that’s how they identify. “I feel like a woman when I’m dressed,” a long-time client who calls
herself Robyn tells me. “It’s not a transgender persona, it’s a female persona.”
Monica doesn’t believe it’s fair to hold her clients to a higher standard than cisgendered women
and demand that they buck traditional gender stereotypes. “I hate teaching the things I have to
teach sometimes,” she says. “My hope is that we surpass our current idea of gender and
sexuality as binary and that what I do becomes antiquated and ridiculous.” But until that day
arrives, she doesn’t expect her clients to be feminist warriors. “So what, because they were
socialized as men, now they have to o vercompensate and be the women of all women? It
doesn’t make sense.”
More tricky still are her attempts to teach her clients these signifiers while also deconstructing
the stereotypes that she’s found aren’t helpful — particularly the thoroughly unmodern, and
therefore unconvincing, idea that women should be coy and demure and keep their opinions to
themselves. “A lot of my clients think that when they are in femme, if they go to a restaurant
and order, say, a filet medium rare, and the filet comes to them medium well, they won’t send it
back,” she tells me, by way of example. “They’ll be like, ‘Well, you know, I’m in femme, and it
just doesn’t feel very feminine.’ And oh my God, it kills me that they think that suddenly
because they look like a woman their right to have their food cooked the way they asked is
stripped from them. I think it says a lot about how we socialize our men, right? Because the
people who I work with were socialized as men to have an idea about what femininity is, about
what being female means.” And what that subconscious idea entails is that women should not
expect to get what they ask for or insist on having what they want.
What good would it do, though, to shame them, to make her clients feel more awkward for
31
having been raised male? Instead, Monica very politely sends their steak back for them.
“I’m nervous,” Stacey said, back in her hotel room, surveying her wardrobe options and holding
a paper cup half-full of sparkling wine meant to calm her nerves and also remind her that what
she planned to do that night was worth celebrating. “I’m about to show the first member of my
family Stacey, and I don’t think I’m ready to come out to everybod y. It scares me.” She took a
deep breath and looked over at Monica for reassurance.
Monica stopped unpacking her suitcase of makeup and raised her cup to Stacey. “To a big
night. Your biggest night.”
“I’m starting to get more nervous now.”
“I know,” Monica said with a breeziness that implied that it would be strange if she weren’t.
“I’m thinking about taking a Xanax.”
“But you shouldn’t,” Monica advised, no longer breezy a t all. “You should feel this. And you
should remember that nervousness and excitement are really, really close to each other in
terms of what they feel like. Just allow your body to morph that nervousness into eagerness to
show this side of yourself for the first time ever to someone who loves you.”
Stacey nodded and pulled a lavender sweater from the pile. “I was thinking something like
this.”
Once in femme clothing, wearing breast forms and padding to give herself a more feminine
shape, Stacey grew contemplative, running through a list of times when she’d done something
careless — left her bra in the laundry room, for instance — and risked having her wife discover
her secret. According to Monica, 80 percent of her clients who transition stay married through
that time, though they also tend to stay heteronormative, meaning that once they get far
enough along in their transition, they find themselves attracted to men (a controversial theory
chalks this up to hormones; Monica thinks it has more to do with social identification). More
than half get divorced shortly after the y transition completely. Occasionally, a client of Monica’s
will get found out when her wife discovers a photo of her in femme, though the pictures are
sometimes so good that the wife assumes her husband is having an affair instead.
“Do you ever feel like maybe you subconsciously want to get caught?” asks Monica as she
dabs foundation over Stacey’s face.
“I wonder about that. I was going to ask my therapist to see what she says.”
“Seems likely.”
“All my life, I’ ve been attracted to women,” Stacey muses. “As a guy, I’m not attracted to men,
but I don’t know about when I’m a woman.”
“As a girl, would you say it’s kind of flexible?”
32
“Yeah. Which is the part of this whole thing that scares me
the most. If I wasn’t married right now, would I be with a
man as Stacey? No. But would I transition? Yes. Then
would I be with a man? Yes. But the thing is, sure, maybe
my wife would support me, but she’s not going to stay
married to me.”
“But would you want to stay married to her?” Monica asks,
as she begins to contour Stacey’s face with a blush brush,
drawing out her cheekbones, narrowing her chin. “You’re not
a lesbian.”
“I don’t know. And I won’t know until it happens.”
“Do you think it will happen? Do you think you will
transition?”
Stacey considers. “If you asked me that a year ago, I’d say,
‘No, it’s not going to happen. I’m going to make sure it
doesn’t happen.’ Now I don’t know. Now I think it will, I just
don’t know when.”
“You think it will? Really?”
“Yeah,” Stacey softly admits.
Monica stops the brush in midair. “You’ve never said that before.”
“I know.” Stacey pauses. “I think I’ve only said it to myself.”
The music from the rooftop bar of the Americano Hotel thrummed loudly as Stacey crossed
through the lounge area and ventured onto the dance floor, peering about expectantly. She
looked soft, natural, and age-appropriate in a plum-colored sweater dress, black high-heeled
booties, just the right amount of makeup, and her new auburn wig. When she saw her cousin
across the room, she stiffened slightly. But her cousin enveloped her in a hug and led her to a
back corner where they could talk. “She told me how beautiful I looked,” Stacey would tell us
later. “Since we last talked, it seemed like she had educated herself on being transgender. All
my nervousness just melted away completely.”
They talked about how different being transgender was from being gay, how it can be much
harder on the people around you because you change into someone who can be
unrecognizable. They talked about their childhood, their family. And the y talked about how
Monica was helping Stacey have the courage to live in her own skin. It was long
after midnight when they parted ways, though Stacey didn’t want the night to end. After the
rush of acceptance, she didn’t want to go back to her hotel alone. She dreaded the moment
when she would have to pack Stacey’s things away, not knowing the next time she’d be able to
wear them. But she had an early flight to catch, a wife and children she loved to return to. Back
in her room, she removed the wig, tucking it back in the box it came in. She took off her dress.
She looked at herself for a long moment in the bathroom mirror before, slowly and regretfully,
she began washing the makeup off her face.
33
Tasi’s Musings, July, 2015
Greetings from Merida
Gay Pride Parades in rural Mexico. Celestun and Merida, and I think all of
Yucatan, is very Gay friendly. Rather than just being tolerated, people of every
nationality, religion and sexual preference seem to be very welcome and accepted here. And, as the days drew nearer to Carnival, the more flamboyant
individuals are out on display as they gradually prepare for Carnival and M ardi
Gras festivals and parades.
Even the little town of
Celestun on the coast, known
for its birdlife sanctuary and flamingoes, has a Gay
Pride parade so of course we stood on the parade route
along with all of our neighbors, with our cameras as it
came by. It was a very short parade; one mototricyclita taxi with a sound system followed by a big
flat-bed truck full of drummers and a few
cross-dressing Gays throwing candies.
We picked up all of the candy that came our way and tossed it around to all of the neighborhood kids on
the street for the parade. What fun we had. This part of M exico is abundant in that part of the M exican
personality that welcomes diversity and family life.
34
In the News
The news this month is, of course, Caitlyn Jenner. Not since 1952 when
Christine Jorgenson had her big reveal has there been such craziness in the
media. Time M agazine talked about the Transgender Tipping Point with
Laverne Cox on the cover, but Caitlyn has created a firestorm of publicity
for the Trans community with 17 million viewers alone watching the Diane
Sawyer interview, followed in just a few weeks with Caitlyn on the cover of
Vanity Fair.
That Caitlyn is beautiful and famous and rich has generated a hugh amount
of commentary, most of it positive, but not all. Still this is a 65 year old
woman who is transitioning and we’ll be watching the 8 part series starting
July 26th called “I Am Cait” which will tell her story. The above link is
from the Wendy Williams show starting at 2:25 minutes. So far the reveal
has indicated that the series will be sensitive to the Trans community and in
fact Caitlyn has made friends with a number of Trans girls in the southern California area. The number
of people that now say they know someone Trans has jumped from single digit figures to almost 40%
now. That’s hugh in terms of visibility. And with positive visibility comes greater acceptance although
there is still a long way to go.
35
This whole process of visibility and acceptance is like a train gathering steam…the “Trans Train”. M any
Americans think the recent transition of Caitlyn Jenner will help society be more welcoming toward
transgender people. Two-thirds of respondents to a recent NBC survey said Caitlyn will inspire positive
change. Twenty percent of participants said her gender reassignment would help change views by "a
lot," and 46 percent said it would help "a little." NBC conducted its survey among 2,153 adults aged 18
and older.
That public awareness is on the rise is a given as reflected in this recent article in CBC (Canada) News. I
was pleased to see that the article addressed the difference between gender identity, gender expression,
and sexual orientation as many readers simply don’t understand the differences. Then Billie Jean King
had this to say. And not to be outdone, Jon Stewart said this.
However, the survey also found that more than three-quarters of Americans said transgender people face
negative social judgment. One such negative judgement was this op-ed in the NY Times by Elinor
Burkett titled “What M akes a Woman”. Her concluding statements indicated that the Trans community
is undermining women’s identities, and silencing, erasing or renaming their experiences. She drew
extensive criticism to the highly volatile article including some of the below responses which are worth
your reading:
A Trans Woman Responds to a M id-20th Century Era Feminist
False feminists’ vs transgender activists by Julia Serrano
Trans Women Are Women. Why Do We Have to Keep Saying This?
Transphobia Is Bad for Women
What Difference Does It Even M ake
Anonymous forum poster delivers Knock Out Punch to Christian extremists knocking Caitlyn Jenner
Best estimate of the transgender population. With the light being shined on transgender Americans.
M uch about the community, such as its size, remains opaque. Some researchers are also concerned that
the number is undercounted because of a reluctance among some trans gender people to discuss it with
survey takers or signify it on a government form. In a study by the National Center for Transgender
Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, 71 percent of transgender people said they hid
their gender or gender transition to try to avoid discrimination.
Yet knowing more about transgender people is important for policy-making in health, education, criminal justice, social services, sports, the military and more. There are no national data, but two studies have
tried to quantify or describe the transgender population in the United States. The most recent paper,
published last month by the Census Bureau, analyzed people who most likely were transgender, based
on the fact that they had changed their name or sex with the Social Security Administration. Read the
complete explanation of the studies here.
36
Laverne Cox honored to be first transgender M adame Tussauds model. The 'Orange Is The New Black'
star will have her life size figure unveiled during Pride Weekend in San Francisco on June 26, hopes
having her statue in the world famous museum will be an "inspiration" to people going through what she
has experienced as a black trans gender person.
Transgender employees get OSHA backing on bathroom access. The Department of Labor’s Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) issued guidelines M onday suggesting that employers allow transgender employees access to the restroom that corresponds to their gender identity. The
four-page “Guide to Restroom Access for Transgender Workers ” was created at the request of the National Center for Transgender Equality.
37
Books, Movies and Television
Amazon's new transgender docu-series This Is Me debuts exclusively on EW. Can’t get enough of
Transparent? Here’s some great news: Amazon has just launched a new documentary series about Trans
and gender non-conforming individuals, and it’s available to watch right now on EW.
Fashion
A hundred years of fashion in under three minutes? It's possible! Tune in as we revisit some of the biggest trends of all time, from jazz age sass to Coco Chanel–inspired chic to the psychedelic 1970s. This is
one history lesson you don't want to miss!
The New Class of Style Icons. To yield one style icon, you'll need a girl, a
dress, and a night. Done. But as the rise and fall of celebrities' sartorial stock
tells us, the execution isn’t as easy as that formula makes it out to be. So when
you *do* notice a supernova in the making, like these eight international
up-and-comers, you sit up, put on your sunglasses and enjoy the ride.
Taylor Swift Takes Street Style to the Next Level. Nary a day goes by that
Swift doesn't set foot outside her apartment in some cute, charming, wearable
look we kick ourselves for not thinking of first. Here’s a catalog of every
single impressive outfit. Taylor is swiftly becoming the American answer to
Kate M iddleton
How to Walk in Heels & Stilettos. Another great video that suggests we walk incrementally
Humor
The Transgender Drinking Game. The author watching a trans gender documentary noticed many of the
same clichés and stereotypes that I've seen time and time again in trans gender documentaries. She
thought about who she could write to, and how she could address these issues.
Then she decided to go for a more novel approach, and turn it all into a drinking game. Read about on
the link above.
So until next month,
Hugs……Tasi
38
Humor
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip
replacement, New knees, fought prostate
cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't
hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
M ake me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have
poor circulation; Hardly feel my hands and
feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my Florida driver's license.
A husband and wife are shopping in their local
Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a ...case of Miller
Lite and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies.
'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the
wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a
$20 jar of ...face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband...
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,'
replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite
and it's half the price....'
HUSBAND DOWN, AISLE 7 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
39
Angels In The Centerfold
Kandy
Rebecca Adams
Rhonda Lee
40
Magda
Michelle Mercedes
Tammy Trueheart
41
Mellissalynn’s Tips & Tricks
It’s July, girls! Barbecue time, swimming time, and oh, my, is it hot and humid! At least it is here in
central Illinois in the US. I wish we could bottle up some of this moisture and send it to the folks
needing it in California…but apparently it’s not even legal to have a rain barrel here anymore. I don’t
want to go off on a rant here, but could someone explain to me why I’m not allowed to collect rain water
instead of letting it sink into the ground? Sometimes I like to use rainwater to shampoo my hair!
Well, what’s new in the world of M ellissa? First of
all, we have a new kitten! My daughter, with
absolutely no thought as to what the kitten looks like,
has named it Starlord (from Guardians of the Galaxy,
of course). The kitten is female, so you see my
curiosity at the name. M ore importantly, though, is
whether we can get my other two, much older cats to
accept the new little one. My female, Oreo, seems to
be warming up, but my male, Bandit…yeah, not so
much. He hisses and yowls whenever they’re in the
same room. I’m hoping that time will take care of
this…
In cosmetology news, I’m actually starting to build a
salon clientele now, which is making me very happy.
LOTS of change is happening at my schol, which I’m
not quite so sure of. I’m keeping an open mind and
heart about it, though, and trying to be as positive as I
can.
I had an interesting thing happen recently, though! I
was in a salon, getting myself dolled up for my
monthly meting, and using my airbrush makeup kit.
Another client saw me doing this and asked me if I
could do her eyes, and how much I would charge. I
checked withy stylist tobe sure that it was cool for me
to do this, and then did her eyes up real fast for a quick
$5! She totally loved the look, and I used that $5 to
get my eyebrows done. The word spread to other clients, and my afternoon ended up being a working
day, doing makeup, It was incredible, getting to be a stylist en femme, and being accepted by a bunch of
women in the salon as one of them…
So tell me all about your month, ladies! Write me at mlatjnadhmelly@gmail.com. I answer any and all
mail I get, so feel free to tell me about anything you want to chat about, be it a salon visit or transgender
news, or whatever you like. I love hearing from you all!
42
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My first tip of the month isn’t really a beauty tip, but it’s a good one for summer anyhow. I hope you
never need it! If you do, though, I hope this works for you as well as it did for me.
The last week was a busy one for my household! My spouse went down to visit her sisters in Kentucky,
and my youngest went to church camp. My youngest is the source of this tip. While he was there, he
managed to absolutely scorch himself in the sun! This happened after I gave him some extra money and
told him to pick up some sunscreen…anyway. Teenage boy, what can you do, right?
So here’s a good way to take the sting out of severe sunburns. Of course, the best way to treat a sunburn
is to not be out in the sun long enough to get one, but if you’re using this tip, that’s a moot point! I used
the black tea method of easing his pain.
To start with, tea bags aren’t very big, so you can’t cover a lot of sunburned skin with individual bags.
Take eight to twelve black tea bags, cut the strings in the middle, and tie them all together.
We’re going to make a tea concentrate with these bags. To make the concentrate, add six to eight tea
bags (not the ones we already had!) to one cup of boiling hot water. Let this steep for three to five
minutes. Pour this concentrate into a jar, let it cool to about lukewarm, then add your tied tea bags to the
jar. Let this sit for another two to three minutes, then take the tied tea bags, now absolutely drenched in
the concentrated tea, and fan them out on your shoulders, face, back, or wherever it stings the most. For
comfort, the tea bags should be at about room temperature. If your skin is extra sensitive from the burn,
put the tea bags in a soft t-shirt, after dipping the t-shirt in the concentrated tea. This will ruin your
short, so use one that you aren’t worried about losing.
Leave the tea bags or t-shirt on the area until you feel it has soaked up the majority of the moisture. Keep
doing these compresses until the pain dissipates. This will normally be about five to ten times applying;
my son took about seven. If the burn is severe, you might still want to check with a physician. In the
meantime, take an aspirin to keep inflammation down.
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While I’m on the subject of the big blistering-hot ball of fire in the sky, here’s another tip I ran across, of
a more preventative nature. It turns out that coffee, of all things, has a bit of skin protection in it! Who
knew? If you drink about four cups of caffeinated coffee, you’ll find that you’ve got the equivalent
protection of a low-level sunscreen. Coffee has a lot of compounds in it, including diterpenes,
trigoneline, polyphenols, and caffeine itself; these compounds can protect us from harmful UVB rays. A
recent study shows that your skin cancer risk will be lowered by a whopping 20%! For those who don’t
drink coffee (that’s me), four milligrams of the antioxidant astaxanthin will do nearly the same thing.
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I want to talk a bit about brushes in this tip. I’ll be the first girl to tell you that I don’t always use my
makeup brushes as they’re supposed to be used; this is an issue for me at school when I teach the course
on makeup. I’m getting better about it when I’m teaching, happily. These are a few things you can try
to get specific results in your makeup applications.
43
To give your lips a plumper look, use a pointed lip brush. This will allow you to follow the natural
curve of your lips more precisely and portray more natural fullness in the framing. The first step
is to line your lips with a lip liner (remember to stay close to the color of the lipstick!). Coat the
brush with lipstick and trace the lip line just inside the liner area. Apply more lipstick to your
brush and start feathering it out from the center until your reach the liner area.
When you apply shadow, do you blend your colors or leave a border between each? As a
professional, I always, ALWAYS, blend my shadows together, even when using the airbrush
technique. The blender brush is a girl’s best friend when doing your eyes, ladies. Here’s how
you do this: place the brush at the center of your eyelid, and make light, buffing circles outward
to the edge of your eyelid. Remember to apply your shadow before mascara or liner!
Do you know how to contour? It’s one of the biggest things to learn about applying your makeup.
Contouring is how we can make our faces appear slimmer, and there is a brush specially
designed for this. It’s called a flat-head foundation brush, and it’s made to lie directly against
your skin. You’ll be using a bronzer to perform this. Dip the brush in the bronzer and tap the
excess off. Start at the cheekbones, lacing the brush flat against underneath the cheekbone.
Sweep the brush back and forth, and then lend a little ore with a makeup sponge.
Lastly, I want to discuss cleaning your brushes. As you all may know, I’m a bit of a germophobe
when it comes to makeup, and brushes can be one of the worst culprits for bacteria to hide in.
Here’s what you should do. Once a month, use a gentle shampoo (I would recommend baby
shampoo, actually) to clean your brushes. When rinsing, always remember to hang the brushes
so that the bristles are facing downward. This prevents moisture from building up at the base of
the brush here they’re attached. This can be a haven for mold, and can also loosen the bristle
glue. A great trick for drying is to take one towel and roll it up, and then place it on another, flat
towel. Stand the brushes up on the rolled up towel, bristles down, and let dry overnight.
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Here’s a fast way to get beachy tousled hair without ever setting foot in a salon. This tip is for those of
us who have longer hair. It’s simple and very inexpensive! All you have to have is a basic ability to
braid your hair, some mousse, and a hair tie. Shampoo your hair in the evening and towel-dry it, leaving
it damp. Work some mousse through, and braid it loosely. When you awaken, undo the braid and find
some pretty looking waves!
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I recently learned that I’ve been applying my eye cream all wrong! It was, forgive the pun, an eyeopening revelation. I learned where I should be putting it on at, and I’m sharing that knowledge with all
of you.
M ost women put their cream on the lids and under the eyes. Well, apparently this can actually backfire
and leave you M ORE puffy! This situation is to be avoided. Instead, apply the cream to the orbital bone
area. Dab lightly from the inner corners outward toward the temples and then begin working upward to
the brow bone.
44
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As a professional, my job is to get clients into
my chair. Sometimes, though, the frugal girl
that started writing these columns overpowers
the stylist and has a tip to share. That’s what’s
happening right now!
So you have some highlights in and they’re
starting to fade out. Well, this is an easy DIY
way to revive them for awhile without spending
salon prices. All of these are all-natural solutions, by the way.
Brunettes: make two cups of black coffee, let it
cool, and pour this mix over your damp hair in
the shower before shampooing. Leave it on for
about ten minutes then shampoo as normal.
Blondes: instead of coffee, you’ll use three cups
of chamomile tea. Let this sit on your hair for
about fifteen minutes before shampooing.
Redheads: Visit the health-food store and pick
up some rose hips. Add a cup to two cups of
boiling water, then let cool. You’ll put this in
your damp hair for twenty minutes, then rinse.
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Perfume can be a tricky area for us to navigate.
I experienced this recently at school with one of
the students. She came in at about 8:50am. Her
scent arrived about a minute earlier! We had to
send her to the restroom to tone things down a
bit.
If you overdo your scent, take a cloth and misst some rubbing alcohol on it, then wipe the area you’ve
applied the perfume. The alcohol will knock some of the scent down without removing it completely.
Your frineds will thank you!
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While I’m on the subject of perfume, here’s a neat way to make a scent uniquely yours. Look for two
perfumes that share an ingredient, such as vanilla or freesia or rose (to name a few). Determine which is
the heavier scent first and apply, then mist on a little of the lighter one. The two will mingle and create
an individual, signature smell that’s your and yours alone!
45
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One area that we don’t always pay attention to is our décolletage and upper chest. This area, on a
woman, gets quite a lot of attention, and needs to be treated accordingly. We want to prevent fine lines
and dark spots from appearing, if possible. What is needed here is a retinol cream, loaded with vitamin
A. This will boost cell turnover rates and fight off the wrinkles. Once you start applying, you should
see results in about a month.
This is a DIY recipe for making your own décolletage serum. You’ll need some vitamin A gel capsules,
a jar, s0ome sensitive skin moisturizer, and a teaspoon of powdered milk. Poke a hole in the gel capsule
and put about a quarter teaspoon in the jar. Add a teaspoon of the moisturizer and a teaspoon of the
powdered milk. Stir it up and then apply to your chest area. Let this sit on your skin for about ten
minutes; wipe it off with a tissue (not a wet cloth!). You’ll get one use from this recipe.
Another thing we can do to protect this area is to apply moisturizing sunscreen or a tinted BB cream with
sunscreen added before going out. Not only will the cream moisturize and help protect the area, the tint
will even out the skin tone. As the skin is being hydrated by the cream, you’ll also look great!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
As I noted last month, I’m seeing a littlebit of growth in my breast area, for reasons unknown. The
doctor can’t find any reason for it, but says I have a light case of gynecomastia. For those who don’t
know what that means, here’s the definition from the M ayo Clinic:
“Gynecomastia is swelling of the breast tissue in boys or men, caused by an imbalance of the hormones
estrogen and testosterone. Gynecomastia can affect one or both breasts, sometimes unevenly. Newborns,
boys going through puberty and older men may develop gynecomastia as a result of normal changes in
hormone levels, though other causes also exist.”
The doctor thinks this may be simply an age thing. As it stands, as I said last month, I‘m currently a
decent B cup! Of course, I had to have the doctor reassure my wife that I’m not deliberately doing
anything to cause this…! She was relieved to find out that it isn’t anything dangerous.
Anyway! The reason I bring it up as a tip is that I’m trying a serum to help keep them from getting
saggy and flabby. The serum contains mangosteen extract; this is a topical application that increases the
fatty acid production about 57% in a very short time. When I used it before going out, I almost looked
like a small C cup! It isn’t cheap; I paid abuout fifteen bucks for it. But it works well! The physician I
was speaking to said that it wuld have some small effect on males, maybe as much as half a cup size. If
you’re interested in trying it, let the buyer beware…
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Well! I guess my budding breasts have brought our column to a close this month. I hope you all found
something of use in the column, be it the mangosteen extract or the sunburn tips. In all seriousness,
ladies, I want to urge you all to be careful about getting burned, especially any readers who are on
hormones. Skin cancer is no joke, and I’d rather you were all here reading PTG magazine than
undergoing treatments at the hospital.
46
Next month I’ll have highlights of the Japanese
animation convention I attend every year, along
with some great pictures. I’m looking for some
more good tips on brushes, so if any of you have
one to share, please, please, please send it in!
You know your name will be featured
prominently here if you do…!
Sending me stuff is the easiest thing in the world
to do. You can send it to my e-mail at
mlatjnadhmelly@gmail.com; as you know, my
inbox is always open! You can also hit me up
on Facebook; my name there is M ellissa Lynn.
I’ve been getting better about checking my
account, so post with confidence!
All right girls, have (safe) fun in the sun, and I’ll
talk to you all in August!
47
"How to Use Accessories Like A Secret Weapon To
Stretch Your Budget and Define Your Style"
Diane Pemberton Sikes
Want a quick and easy way to expand
your wardrobe without spending a lot of
money?
Here it is:
Dust off some of your fashion accessories
and start putting them to good use!
That's right – all those shoes, handbags,
scarves, and “stuff” that you have
crammed in your closet and drawers can
literally transform your wardrobe -if you know how to use them correctly.
Unfortunately, most women don’t.
They buy certain accessories to go with certain outfits and never wear them with
anything else. Or, they buy one thing, like a handbag or watch, and wear it
with everything they own, from workout gear to evening apparel. Still others are
so devoted to following the latest fashion trends that they don’t really understand
the impact certain pieces have on their overall image – like oversized earrings, no
hose, or slip-on shoes.
It’s a real shame.
Accessories present a world of opportunity when used correctly, from pulling
together unrelated pieces to transforming an outfit on a moment’s notice. You can
use them to look taller, thinner, richer, or whatever – and you don’t have to spend
a fortune to do it. In fact, once you understand how to accessorize correctly
and start putting these little pieces to work for you, you’ll spend less and do more
with what you already have – and create your own distinct style by doing so.
What Accessories Can Do for You
Sound impossible? Consider this:
What if you could take one garment and wear it dozens of different ways? What if,
just by changing a few fashion accessories, you could wear the same dress to a
bridal shower, a barbeque, the theater, and a church service – with no one the
wiser? One dress, lots of different possibilities. How much would that help your
budget? How much less stuff would you have to pack when you traveled?
Well, that’s one of the powers of accessories: the ability to change an outfit from
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one mood to another. When used properly, accessories can take you from the
board room to the ball room with a minimum of fuss.
Here are some other things accessories can do:
• Draw attention to your assets
• Pull attention away from your trouble spots
• Give a variety of looks to a single outfit
• Make a garment look expensive
• Revive or update classic clothing styles
• Relate different items of your outfit to each other
• Define your personal style
What? You had no idea you could use accessories to do so much? Neither do most
women – which is why so few enjoy the polish that well-chosen accessories can
give. From finishing an outfit to drawing attention away from figure challenges,
accessories can do the job – so long as you know how to accessorize correctly.
So where can you learn all these tips and tricks?
In the pages of Accessory Magic.
A ccessory Magic is the fashion accessory book m y ezine reade rsbegged me to
write for years.
From head to toe, this ebook re veals e ve rything you need to know about how to
shop for and use accessories to your advantage. Whe the r you're tall, short, thin, or
heavy, you'll discove r the be st acce ssories for your particular situation.
Diana Pemberton Sikes is an image consultant and author of Wardrobe M agic. Want to
find the best clothes for your body, budget, and lifestyle? Wardrobe M agic can help.
Her website is www.FashionForRealWomen.com
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Fashion Rules — Tasi Takes on Cosmo
Tasi Zuriack
Fashion rules are made to be broken says Cosmopolitan M agazine and here are 20 fashion rules you
should resolve to break. Sometimes I think Cosmo just likes to talk remembering that we are not the size
2 starlets that they like to use as examples. Fashion rules which seem to elude crossdressers anyway are
an easy way not to make silly mistakes when you are trying to blend in (check out my book, Top Ten
Fashion M istakes by Crossdressers and How To Fix Them. Once you have mastered the basics, then
strive to create your own style. Now you’ll understand when rules can be broken and when.
1. No white after Labor Day. White is amazing — white shoes, white dresses, white jeans, white everything. Assuming you can keep it clean, white makes you look fresh and awake and tan and completely
pulled together, all desirable characteristics, no matter what time of year it is.
Tasi says: This was one of those rules that was likely more symbolic in nature as even Coco Chanel as
far back as the 1920s advocated white all year around. Some etiquette experts attributed the rule to
snobbery as Labor Day marked the end of summer and the well-to-do traditionally switched to their winter wardrobes at this time. By the 1950s it calcified into a hard and fast rule as a bulwark against the
upwardly mobile. Times are changing now. Of course you’ll need to get winter white which is a bit heavier fabric and perhaps a different shading. Best buys are a white winter sweater or coat or a white
handbag.
2. You shouldn’t wear white to someone else’s wedding. You shouldn’t wear a wedding dress to
someone else’s wedding, but that’s no reason you can’t wear white. You’re not going to steal focus or
upstage the bride simply by wearing a certain color.
Tasi says: There’s no fashion rule about white at the wedding but people will talk. It’s not a good idea.
Are there some options? Yes! A partial white for example a white bodice with a colored skirt or a dress
with an overall white background but an overall print of a different color.
3. Don’t let your bra show. An errant nude bra strap falling down over a
bare shoulder is one thing, but with all the beautiful bras out there, it would
be a shame not to show them off once in a while. Just make sure to frame it
in a way that feels intentional. Layer a long-line bra under a sheer top or
unbutton a sweater to show off the middle of a pretty lace demi-cup bra. You
can even try wearing a strapped bra with a strapless dress.
Tasi says: That last one is still tacky. While the idea of a long line bra under
a sheer top is appealing, there’s still a time and place … it’s a clubbing
outfit, not a mall outfit. Lane Bryant’s Cacique collection for instance is
definitely sexy and those lace inserts are most attractive. Try for the demure
look though and you’ll come across more as edgy than brazen.
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4. You must wear a belt if your shirt is tucked in. Even if you love belts,
there are times when they just clutter up an outfit. This is the kind of rule
people apply to dressing for the office more than dressing for themselves, but
even in a professional environment there is nothing inappropriate about
going without a belt. Just make sure your pants fit properly.
Tasi says: It more than just properly fitting pants. Belts just don’t look good
on some bodies (Mine for instance). On the other hand there are endless
looks that can be created with belts … over a bulky sweater, a slouchy tee, or
a billowing blouse, or even over your coat for a tailored look. I particularly
like the chain belt slung low on the waist for the Bohemian look.
5. Legs or cleavage. Never both. There probably isn’t a Cosmo girl alive
who actually buys into this rule, but just in case, I had to include it. Bare
what you dare, ladies.
Tasi says: Yea, right, if you want to look like a silly ass. We in general are not Jenna Talackova.Choose
one or the other says Dita Von Teese. It’s a sexy style rule that Hollywood’s smartest trendsetters swear
by!
6. S parkle is just for the evening. Sparkle is for always! Okay, so there are a few things you might
want to keep in mind when bringing your sparkly look into the daylight, but luckily you can read all
about that right here!
Tasi says: I love sparkle too but be careful not to overindulge. Keep it simple. Here are some tips: Stick
to one shade at a time and watch out for too many textures.
7. Tall women shouldn’t wear heels. Why? So you won’t intimidate men by being taller than them?
That’s a horrible reason to deny yourself. Heels look amazing on tall women. Wear the highest ones you
can manage. You’ll be the most captivating person in the room. Guaranteed.
Tasi says: Just be sure you can walk in them properly. I can show you some hilarious videos. They can
also be foot-killers so choose a style that you can wear for hours. Can’t find a low-heeled pair that sparkles? Try shoe clips or shoe chains. You can have the most unique shoes at the ball.
8. Short women shouldn’t wear long dresses. Long dresses can actually make you look taller,
especially when they drape nicely and skim the body. Just steer clear of anything too bulky.
Tasi says: Or too tight. Skimming the body with movement in the dress is the most alluring look.
9. Don’t wear socks with open toed shoes. Ok, so you shouldn’t pair Gold Toe tube socks with
open-toe pumps, but socks are a great way to keep wearing your warm weather shoes when it’s cold out.
In fact, the bolder the pairing, the better. Just try to keep those front toe seams hidden.
Tasi says: Ugh! No matter what the fashionistas say.
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10. When it comes to jewelry, less is more. Layer that stuff on.
If that’s what you’re into, the more the better. It’s all just a matter
of personal preference. When people say otherwise, what they are
really saying is “I do it this way, so you should too” and that’s
rarely a good enough reason to do anything.
Tasi says: You really think this looks good? Hope you are wearing Goth to pull off this look.
11. You should dress for your body type. Nope. Nope. Nope. You should wear things you like and that
fit you. Your body is not a problem that needs to be solved through strategic dressing.
Tasi says: Yeah, and what world are you living in. You need to find your own style but ignoring your
body and it’s proportions is a disaster in the making. Unfortunately some CDs follow Cosmo’s advice to
everyone’s amusement.
12. When wearing a dress or a skirt at a formal event (wedding, job interview, etc.) you must wear
tights or pantyhose. This rule really only applies to Kate M iddleton and you’re not Kate M iddleton, so
don’t worry about it.
Tasi says: Well, where you live has a lot to do with it. Here in the tropics, wearing hose is rare. But
there’s no denying the benefits and the looks of either sheer or patterned hose. Cosmo can slam Kate
Middleton but she is a style icon and knows how to put it all together. Following her will make you one
of the better dressed women in the world. Why do you think whatever she wears is immediately sold out
in the stores.
13. Never wear gold and silver jewelry together. Wearing gold and silver together actually looks better in a lot of cases than just wearing one or the other. The different metals compliment each other and
stop you from looking too matchy matchy.
Tasi says: It’s no longer a faux pas to wear gold and silver together. Of course, some people have a
preference for one type of jewelry over the other. For example, gold doesn’t look good on my cool-toned
pale skin, so I usually wear silver and white gold jewelry. A good example would be a stainless steel
watch or bracelet with gold detailing. I also wear gold and silver earrings.
14. You have to s pend a lot for great quality. Spending more money is no guarantee of receiving better quality. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just trying to justify their own spending habits. Educate
yourself about how things are made and how best to take care of them, then you’ll see the real value of
things, not just what they cost.
Tasi says: I couldn’t agree more here. Read the reviews on an article of clothing before buying. Some
designers just add their name to a cheaper brand so they can improve their profit margins. When you
buy through the Sister House Boutique, we have done all the hard work for you.
15. S horts are only for summer. If you want to wear shorts year round, do it. You can always layer
them over tights and wear them with boots or a sweater if it’s cold out. When it comes to warm-weather
clothing, there’s really nothing that can’t be adapted for year-round use.
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Tasi says: You better be a size 8 or less and reasonably passable because you sure as heck will attract
attention. Better to go with great jeans and a sexy blouse and maybe a denim jacket.
16. Everyone should own _______. Boring. Who wants to own the same anything as everyone else?
Tasi says: Pure crap. That’s how stylish women take 10 articles of clothing and turn them into 100 different outfits with the right accessories for each look.
17. If someone is wearing the same outfit as you, you should keep your
distance. Just because you don’t want to dress like everyone else, doesn’t mean
you should feel embarrassed if you show up to a party and someone is wearing the
same outfit as you. Don’t let it get you down. Take an amazing Instagram!
Tasi says: Happened to me once with a beautiful black and red print blouse. We
became sisters (smile). Of course, it could invite some unwanted comparisons.
The tabloids love those situations.
18. Don’t mix animal prints. Just because two animals don’t get along in the
wild, doesn’t mean they can’t get along on your outfit. Let the cheetahs lie down
with the zebras. They look cute together. In fact, mix all your prints: polkadots
with florals, stripes with plaid. Just lean into it.
Tasi says: Few crossdressers will ever pull this off successfully when many haven’t got past the basics
of how to dress stylishly. It’s better to wear just one animal print with a solid color, either tops or bottoms.
19. You should take fashion seriously, because the way you’re dressed says a lot about you. It’s
tempting to judge someone based on what they’re wearing. It’s natural even. But clothes can’t really tell
you if someone is rich or poor, messy or neat, hard working or lazy, mean or nice. And although those
judgements do still occur and there are times when you may want to project a certain image through the
way you’re dressed (an interview, a first date, etc.), fashion is subjective and there’s no way of gauging
exactly how your look will be interpreted by someone else. The most important thing is to enjoy what
you’re wearing. Don’t take it all so seriously. Have some fun. It’s really not that big of a deal.
Tasi says: Well, I agree with having fun and not getting overly serious about fashion , but you will be
judged by what you wear. So beware the impression that you want to create. If you want to be considered stylish or just blend in, then fashion rules will guide you. You may not know how others interpret
your look exactly, but their facial expressions will often tell all. No one may say anything, but I’d rather
not be the topic of conversation for their evening meal, unless in a good way of course.
20. Great style can’t be learned. Style is something you pick up as you go along. It evolves. No one is
born knowing what goes with what. It’s all learned. And just because it doesn’t come easy to you doesn’t
mean you can’t master it.
Tasi S ays: I can’t disagree here. That’s what Sister House is all about for the transgender community
53
The Top Styling Tips to Look Slimmer and Sexier
Whether your body is pear-, ruler-, hourglass-, or apple-shaped, we have the
perfect clothing guide — inspired by our Fashion Week street style — to fit your
body type. We selected the best outfits to hide those problem areas and also to
highlight your best assets. You'll be feeling sexier and warm weather-ready in no
time!
By Liana Satenstein
The Peplum
A classic, chic peplum is the ultimate way to cinch your
waist and hide trouble areas.
Best for: Apple
The Layering Effect
Layers are perfect for sectioning off your body. Try
color-blocking or mixing patterns to emphasize
curves.
Best for: Ruler
The Structured Jacket
A mid-thigh structured jacket gives your form a slender
(and polished!) appearance.
Best for: Universal
The Bold Pattern
Wear bold patterns to accentuate your favorite
assets.
Best for: Universal
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The Open Shoulder
Open shoulders and volumnious sleeves are a key way
to create the effect of a more proportionate figure.
Best for: Apple
The Maxi Skirt
A maxi skirt is an instant leg-lengthener and waisttightener.
Best for: Hourglass, Ruler
The 3D Skirt
The 3D skirt is a great wait to create the illusion of
"bottom" curves, or to enhance them if you've
already got the goods.
Best for: Apple, Ruler
The Empire Waist
An empire waist is the perfect way to either accentuate
your curves or to give you them; this look brings out
the best of both worlds.
Best for: Universal
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The Classic Black Ensemble
As always, all-black is a classic instant slimmer. We
don't have to tell you that twice!
Best for: Universal
The Short Skirt
Pair a short skirt with a loose shirt to make your
legs appear longer, all without showing too much
skin.
Best for: Pear, Ruler
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7 Tips for Fe minizing Your Body Movements
By Lucille Sorella
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Lucille Sorella is a GG (genetic girl) who
teaches crossdressers, transsexuals, and transgender females how to
look, act, and feel like real women. Her goal is to help T-women
express their inner and outer femininity and increase their confidence
as women. She has a professional background in fashion, beauty,
dance, and natural healing and has been working with the transgender
community for the past 12 years. Her website is loaded with useful
information and is located at http://www.flat2fem.com/index1.html .
The way you move is a huge part of your feminine image.
But what if you feel you have all the grace of a truck driver?
The good news is that there are some simple techniques for feminizing your body
movements.
In a previous article, I explained how to walk like a woman. Now let’s talk about
how to make your gestures and deportment more graceful and feminine.
Here are my top 7 tips for feminizing your body movements:
1. Slow down
Most of us have a natural tendency to speed
up our movements when we feel nervous or
self-conscious. This makes your actions appear
jerky and clumsy.
Avoid rushed movements. Here are some
no-no’s:
Leaping out of your seat
Plopping down into your chair
Wolfing down your food
Slamming down your glass
Instead, slow down! Every move you make should be deliberate and precise. Take
your time as you sit down, stand up, gesture, and reach for things.
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2. Keep your knees together and your elbows in
I know you’ve probably been told this
from Day 1, but it’s easy to let old habits
slip in – especially if you spend most of
your time in “guy mode.” That’s why you
need to be conscious about keeping your
knees together and your elbows in.
Why elbows in? Because it’s easy to be
clumsy when your limbs are spread out all
over the place. Keeping your elbows close
to your body will instantly make your
gestures more graceful.
3. S tretch out
It’s impossible to move gracefully if you have
a tense and tight body. That’s one reason
why dancers spend so much time stretching.
try:
You too should make stretching part of your
normal routine – particularly before you
present yourself as a woman. Here’s a 10
minute full-body stretching routine you can
4. Don’t fidget
Fidgeting makes you look awkward and
insecure, so avoid nervous movements like:
Twirling your hair
Biting your nails
Shaking your leg
Tapping your fingers
Compulsively checking your phone
Instead, practice the art of graceful stillness! You will look confident and in control
of yourself.
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5. S tudy graceful women
There’s a lot to be learned from studying
poised, elegant women. Pay attention to
the way they move and carry
themselves in public.
knees together.
See the video below for a fabulous
example of the ever-graceful Marilyn
Monroe. Notice how elegantly she sits
and stands, how deliberate her gestures
are, and how she never fails to keep her
6. Take dance classes
If you’re really serious about becoming a
graceful, elegant woman, then I highly
recommend taking dance classes. The grace
and coordination you’ll learn through dancing
will carry over into your day-to-day life.
Any type of dance class is helpful, be it belly
dance, salsa, or ballet. If you’re shy about
showing up for instruction en femme, take
salsa classes in “male mode.” You’ll also get some awesome hip movement
training!
7. Practice
Finally, remember that being graceful
takes practice. I recommend practicing
your movements and gestures in front of
a mirror. Or, better yet, record a video of
yourself so you can evaluate your
movements objectively.
Here are some specific movements to
practice:
Sitting down- Standing up—Gesturing as you speak-Shaking hands (or doing the
air kiss)-Table manners-Getting into and out of a car
What do your movements say about you?
You might not be able to change your height or the overall shape of your body, but
the good news is that you can have control over your body movements.
59
8 At-Home Hair Removers That Actually Work
by Julie Ricevuto
Never miss a spot with these tried and true products!
Short skirt season is here, people! For us extra-fuzzy ladies, a run-of-the mill razor might not be enough.
Fortunately, the YouBeauty staff tested out eight different at-home hair removers — from razors to wax
strips to depilators — to give you our honest opinion on the best way to get bare this summer.
A little caveat: the founder and CEO of UNI K Wax Centers, Noemi Grupenmager, advises to leave hair
removal for professionals. However, she understands that it can be much quicker to eliminate our body
hair ourselves — so make sure you do it safely. Before you try the following
hair removal methods, Grupenmager,suggests thoroughly cleansing the area with a natural antiseptic
lotion to remove all excess oil and bacteria from the skin. Afterwards, apply an aloe vera lotion to
moisturize and soothe the area.
The burns, rashes, and missed hairy patches that have plagued us all at some point may soon become
a thing of the past. Read on for YouBeauty’s top picks for at-home hair removers that actually work!
S phynx Travel Razor, $15
The people behind Sphynx are pretty genius for creating this 3-in-1 travel
razor. Spin the middle wheel, and you find a little spray bottle, then a bar of
shave soap, and then two mini razors. This device is perfect for when you’re
sitting at your desk and casually brush your leg and notice one long strip of
hair you completely missed. Or that spot on your ankle that always ends up
hairy even when you swore you covered every inch. The razor is only one
blade though, so I’d keep this to touchups instead of trying to shave large
areas with it. My one qualm was the cap on the spray bottle was tough to snap
back on after I refilled it. Other than that, this is the perfect travel companion. -Amy Marturana, Senior
Editor
Whish S have S avour Hair Inhibiting Gel, $26
In the winter, I’m more than willing to slather my whole body in lotion after showering.
In the summer, not so much. Which makes this post-shave body gel the perfect
hydrating solution for warmer months. Bonus: It also inhibits hair growth.
Soothing, moisturizing ingredients like aloe and shea butter make this gel perfect for
easing any skin irritation (including sunburn!). It also has panthenol and hyaluronic
acid, both of which both intensely hydrate skin and bolster skin health. I’ve been using
the almond scent, which has a strong scent when you first dispense it, but doesn’t linger
once you apply. -Amy Marturana, Senior Editor
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EOS Ultra Moisturizing S have Cream, $4
Those of us who have sensitive skin but are also, shall we say, “blessed” with plenty of
hair, have a tough decision to make. Do we shave with lighter products to make sure
that we don’t miss a spot? Or do we use the heavier products that can lead to
in-growns, but lasting smoothness? Thankfully, products like eos’ new Lavender
Jasmine Ultra M oisturizing Shave Cream have found a way to take care of your skin
and ensure that your shave is perfect.
This was by far the most luxurious shaving product I’ve ever used — I can’t believe
this thing is so inexpensive! Lavender isn’t one of my favorite scents, but something
about the jasmine mixture worked for me here. I would use this product as a regular old
moisturizer – which eos also makes, although in different scents. Whether you have
sensitive or normal skin, I highly recommend this product.
-Leah Prinzivalli, Staff Writer
Bliss ‘Fuzz’ Off Foam, $32
Bliss ‘Fuzz’ Off Foam looks like a spray can of shaving gel, but works like a
depilatory cream. After shaking the bottle, I sprayed the foam as evenly as I could
across both my legs and tops of my toes where my hair was looking beastly.
‘Fuzz’ Off foam is light, soft, and most importantly, virtually scent-free. Some
depilatory products which shall remain nameless just plain reek, but this one smells
like a generic fresh-scent (which itself is easily masked if you slather lotion on your
skin afterwards).
After about five to eight minutes of letting ‘Fuzz’ Off Foam work its magic, I wiped
my legs clean of about two-months-worth of hair with a wet wash cloth. Voila! My
legs were soft and smooth in less than ten minutes.
Two days later, my legs are still feeling soft and smooth — not a lick of stubble. Over the years, I’ve
tried everything from shaving to waxing to depilatory creams to remove my (considerable) body hair and
hands-down, this has been my quickest and easiest experience of them all.
My only complaint is the price — $32 — which may be steep for some folks. M any women would
probably rather just suck it up and shave in the shower every day rather than replenish cans of ‘Fuzz’ Off
Foam as needed.
However, in my experience, Bliss Spa products have always been top-tier in terms of quality. (And let’s
be honest, they smell great.) As someone who always cuts herself shaving but nevertheless intends to
wear dresses for every day of spring and summer, Bliss ‘Fuzz’ Off Foam is worth the expense. Goodbye,
razors — I’m a convert. -Jessica Wakeman, Executive Editor
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Bic S oleil Glow, $7
I’m a disciple of the disposable razor. Like, very disposable.” Bags of
six-for-$1 at my local Family Dollar kind of disposable, shave on Friday
night then toss that shit” disposable. For our little experiment, I got to try the
Bic Soleil Glow, which has the “triple blast” power of three blades.
The website tells me the razor is supposed to be “polished, graceful, and
chic… the radiant kind of fabulous.” I don’t know if I felt quite so many adjectives, but I’ve always found that a fresh shave can be as much of a mood
booster as a nice makeup job. If you have any plans on smooth-looking legs
for summer, get on board with me now. We’ll meet back at the dollar store
in November. -Leah Prinzivalli, Staff Writer
S weet Ease At Home Waxing S trips, Prices Vary by Kit
I hate to admit it but I have a mustache (gasp!). Not a full blown man-beard, but
a few dark hairs in the upper corners of my lip that I absolutely despise.
Tweezing doesn’t get the job done, and having it professionally waxed seems
unnecessary since it’s only a few stray hairs. So, what to do?
The Sweet Ease At Home Waxing Face Kit has been my absolute savior with
this super-secret issue that I’ve been trying to hide from the world. The wax
strips come in a face, bikini, or leg kit, and are portable so you can bring it
anywhere (they’re great for vacation!). All you have to do is peel the strips apart,
warm it with your hands, press to the desired area and pull off the strip to reveal
soft, smooth skin! It’s so quick, hurts less than waxing in a salon and is the
erfect emergency hair-remover, if you ask me. -Julie Ricevuto, Staff Writer
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Whish S have Crave S have Cream, $20
Always on the hunt for fancy shave cream that will minimize ingrowns and keep my legs
smoother for longer, I was so excited about Whish’s promises of a close, moisturizing
shave. The thick shave cream is made from all natural ingredients. Nourishing oils like
coconut and jojoba, plus moisturizers like shea butter, all help maximize the skin’s
hydration.
I’ve been using the pomegranate scent. Not only does it smell amazing, but my legs have
felt extremely hydrated. The creamy texture also makes it so a razor glides effortlessly
across the skin, which minimizes razor burn and irritation that leads to ingrown hairs. At
$20, it’s pretty pricey for shave cream. But if you’re looking for a natural product that
actually works very well, it’s worth the splurge. -Amy Marturana, Senior Editor
Tria Hair Removal Laser 4X, $449
If you shave in the morning but still have a 5 o’clock shadow by night fall, it’s
time to reconsider your hair removal technique. Get rid of those suckers for
life with the Tria Hair Removal Laser 4X, the first and only FDA-cleared hair
removal laser.
I tried this product out on my armpits, since that’s where hair grows the fastest
for me. The laser permanently disables the hair follicle to stop growth, so I
figured something that can do that must really hurt, right? Nope. Thankfully,
there are different treatment levels so you can test out the weakest level first if
you’re worried about pain.
I kid you not, I saw results after my first use. I definitely felt a bit of a sting
while using it, but it was not at all like the pain that I was expecting. After my first use, I noticed that it
took hair a lot longer to grow back in (although it did eventually all grow back), and after the second use
it took even longer to grow. Now, I’ve been using the Tria once a week and I’m loving the results. The
day when I can skip shaving my pits is close — hallelujah for that! -Julie Ricevuto, Staff Writer
63
10 Reasons Cross-Dressers’ Wives Divorce Them
by Terri Lee Ryan
The initial shock of finding out that your husband is a cross-dresser is a life
-changing event for their marriage. Whether a wife is introduced to it this
when she finds very large shoes in the bedroom closet or a photo on his
I-pad of him dressed in woman’s clothing, carefully left out on the kitchen
table ( a popular way cross-dressers have let their mates find out), it is
something that rocks a marriage to its core.
Many cross-dressers have not come out to their wives opting to either
purge, just to have their desire to dress return. The need becomes an
obsession which eventually starts eroding their ability to function as they
have in the past, forcing them to finally come clean with their mate. This
fem side of them doesn’t go away with marriage, it just remains dormant.
The need to dress is ever-apparent and a cross-dressing husband takes the chance by telling
his wife about his cross-dressing.
Many times his secret doesn’t come out until many years of dating and marriage. This is a side
of him his mate has never seen or even suspected from him. It is not something that she most
likely knows much about or understands. So when he does tell or show his wife his crossdressing, she really doesn’t know just how to respond! Many women are just in shock to see
their husband dressed as a woman. And most cross-dressers I have known are in male
dominated industries as in construction, real estate, law, and corporate managers. There would
be no reason to suspect that their husband is a cross-dresser.
Because of this, women genuinely do not take the news well. They are confused, feel betrayed, angry and frightened by the man standing in front of them who they thought they knew
all these years and now appears to be someone they never met. This is understandable, yet
many cross-dressers who are also dealing with their own fear of being rejected by their wife,
neglect to support her when they come out. Immersed in their own emotion and guilt, the cross
-dressing husband is looking for his own support that often their mate can not give.
Yet, through counseling, willingness by a wife to come to terms with her husbands’ crossdressing and a commitment to learn about his fem side, many couples stay together and
attempt to work it out. They often establish ground rules for cross-dressing,
of when and where, it is acceptable for both of them. They work through the
process for a period of time, hoping they can deal with the change in their
marriage. Sadly, many marriages ultimately don’t survive.
Here are the reasons why:
1.) Unexpressed anger – After a period of time goes by when a crossdressing husband feels as if he is being accepted by his wife and relieved
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that he can keep his marriage and family intact, his wife increasingly become less tolerant of
his dressing. The reality is though she tried to accept both his male and fem side, she can’t.
Her anger is deeply-held that her once husband is no longer the man she thought she married.
2.) Sexuality – We as human being we are visual people. We are sexuality attracted on an
instinctive level to our mates. A heterosexual woman is attracted to a man, not a woman and
when she sees her husband dressed as a woman, she is turned off because of this. She can’t
see her husband through the dress. Also, often a cross-dresser in his fem role acts like a
woman. Most straight women do not want to make love with a woman. The sex life of crossdressers and their wife suffers.
Husband andwife
3.) Lack of Identity in the Marriage – When a cross-dresser reveals his
fem side, he is now competing with his wife for attention. It takes an
exceptionally confident woman with a strong identity as a woman to not
look at her husband as competition. She starts to wonder what her role is
in all of this.
4.) Not Getting Attention as a Woman – This is a notable issue with
cross-dressers who become so obsessed with their fem role that they
forget about giving their wife the attention they deserve and need. Often,
they are so wrapped up in their new freedom of dressing, they ignore
their wife. She needs to feel like a woman and to be treated as such.
5.) Morality Issue – Most of us were raised in religious households. Even
though, we may not be actively practicing our religion, the messages we
learned early on run deep. This built-in prejudice is difficult to ignore, even with the best
intentions. Many wives can not get past the fact that a man dressing as a woman is wrong,
even if it is not.
6.) Lack of Trust – This is a big issue for most wives. A secret as big as their husband being a
cross-dresser being kept for so long makes them feel duped. It causes them to them wonder
what else their husband has kept from them all these years. Once trust is violated in any
marriage, it is almost impossible to get it back. This is why I am such an advocate of telling a
potential spouse before marriage.
7.) Peer Pressure – Cross-dressers after hiding their true selves for years want to be able to
go out and experiment with their cross-dressing. They want mostly to be accepted for who they
are. This often involves family and friends that are part of their wives life. This is threatening to
many women as they are impressionable and concerned that their husband’s cross-dressing
will reflect on them in a negative way.
8.) Not Wanting Another Woman in Their Marriage – Having a cross-dresser in a marriage
is inviting “another woman.” The fem side to cross-dressers is very strong and takes on its own
identity. A wife now finds that there is another woman in their marriage that she has to compete
with. This is a threat to her.
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9.) Fear That Their Husband Is a Transsexual – Once a woman
sees how much her cross-dressing husband enjoys dressing and
living out his fem side, she becomes concerned that he may want to
dress full time or to transition. For most cross-dressers, this is not the
case. But, try to convince your wife that.
10.) It’s Just Too Complicated – Marriages are challenge to begin
with. Especially long-term ones, where both parties have changed
over the years, raised a family and have grown apart. Introducing
cross-dressing into a marriage that is already tenuous is just too
much for a wife to want to deal with. It takes much more effort than
she is prepared to do at this stage in her life.
This list is meant to help cross-dressers better understand what a wife or significant other is
going through. From my personal experience, I have witnessed all of the above. My marriage
wasn’t on solid ground. The cross-dressing component was one of the many reasons we didn’t
work out as a couple. Many times the cross-dressing is used as the reason for a divorce when
in fact there may be many more issues that are apparent in the marriage that cause a divorce.
Sometimes, two people are just not meant to be together and it’s better to move on and find
someone who is a better fit.
About Terri Lee Ryan
Author, Documentary Producer, Speaker
Terri Lee Ryan’s journey with cross-dressing began with her ex-husband
who was a frequent dresser. Needing to understand and know more about
what cross-dressing is and the profound effect it has in a relationship led
her on the path to her own self-discovery.
She is the Executive Producer of the documentary, I M arried a Crossdresser, which aired on Sky Living Channel in the U.K. November,
2014. She writes a popular blog for the Chicago Tribune ChicagoNow
site. Shades of Gender offers insight on the current state of the crossdressing and trans gender community and the many faces of this group.
She has been featured and/or written articles for the Chicago Sun-Times, Desert Woman magazine,
Entrepreneur magazine, Frock magazine, Repartee magazine, and the Transgender Group (TG) Forum.
She has made appearances on ABC-TV, WLS-AM -890, WGN-AM -720 radio and numerous radio
stations across the country.
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From
The
Kitchen!
Summer Pork Chops with Corn-Mango Salsa
cook time: 14 mins
servings: 6
Summertime means fresh ingredients and grilling outside. This recipe
combines both of these traditions with a fresh sweet corn and mango salsa
that is served over the top of summery grilled pork chops. Serve this meal
with steamed garden-fresh yellow and green beans for a delicious and
colorful summertime meal.
nutrition facts * Calories479 * Total Fat (g)22 * Saturated Fat (g)4, * Monounsaturated Fat (g)13, *
Polyunsaturated Fat (g)4, * Cholesterol (mg)124, * Sodium (mg)758, * Carbohydrate (g)17, * Total
Sugar (g)8, * Fiber (g)2, * Protein (g)53, * Vitamin C (DV%) 72, * Calcium (DV%)3, * Iron (DV%)11,
* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet
ingredients
1/3 cup olive oil
2 Tbsp. blackened steak seasoning
2 tsp. garlic powder
1 large onion, thinly sliced
6 boneless pork loin chops, cut 1 -inch thick
Corn-Mango Salsa
Steamed green and yellow beans (optional)
directions
For marinade, in a resealable plastic bag, combine oil, steak seasoning, and garlic powder;
mix well. Add onion; mix well. Add chops; seal bag and turn to coat chops. Marinate in the
refrigerator for 12 hours or overnight.
Drain chops; discard marinade. For a charcoal grill, grill chops on the rack of an uncovered grill directly over medium heat for 14 to 18 minutes or until done (160 degrees F), turning once halfway
through grilling. (For a gas grill, preheat grill. Reduce heat to medium. Place chops on grill rack
over heat. Cover; grill as above.) Serve chops with Corn-Mango Salsa and, if desired, green and
yellow beans. Makes 6servings
Corn-Mango Salsa: Husk 2 ears fresh sweet corn and brush with olive oil, coating all sides. Grill
corn on the rack of an uncovered grill directly over medium heat until kernels are tender and just
begin to brown, turning often. Remove from grill; cool. Cut kernels from ears. In a bowl, combine
corn kernels; 1 medium mango, seeded, peeled, and finely chopped; 1/2 cup finely chopped red
sweet pepper; 1/4 cup chopped sweet onion; 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice; 2 tablespoons cooking
oil; 2 tablespoons snipped fresh mint; 1 tablespoon snipped fresh cilantro; and 1/4 teaspoon salt.
Toss gently to mix.
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7 Layer Fiesta Dip
7 Layer Fiesta Dip: Everyone will want to dig into this spicy 7 layer fiesta dip. Bring on the
chips.
Ingredients
1 can (16 ounces) refried beans
1 container (16 ounces) sour cream
1 package Taco Seasoning Mix
1 package (8 ounces) shredded Cheddar cheese (2
cups)
1 cup prepared guacamole
1 cup chopped tomatoes
1/2 cup sliced green onions
1/2 cup sliced black olives
Tortilla chips
Directions
Spread refried beans in shallow serving bowl
M ix sour cream and seasoning mix in small bowl spread over refried beans
Top with layers of cheese, Guacamole, Tomatoes, Onions and Olives. Serve with Tortilla Chips
Mexican Chicken
Me xican Chicken: These Mexican-spiced
chicken breasts can be grilled in warm weather
or broiled any time of the year.
Serves: 6
Directions
Ingredients
5 minsPrep time16 minsCook time
1/3 cup olive oil
1/4 cup lime juice
2 tablespoons tequila
1 teaspoon McCormick® Cilantro Leaves
1 teaspoon Lawry's® Seasoned Salt
1/2 teaspoon McCormick® GarlicPowder
1/4 teaspoon McCormick® Cumin, Ground
1/8 teaspoon McCormick® Red Pepper, Ground
1 1/2 pounds boneless skinless chicken breast halves
Mix all ingredients, except chicken, in small bowl. Reserve 3
tablespoons marinade for brushing. Place chicken in large
resealable plastic bag or glass dish. Add remaining marinade; turn to coat well.
Refrigerate 30 minutes or longer for extra flavor. Remove
chicken from marinade. Discard any remaining marinade.
Broil or grill over medium-high heat 6 to 8 minutes per side
or until cooked through, brushing with reserved 3 marinade
halfway through cooking.
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Teriyaki Pork Chops With Blueberry-Ginger Relish
Grilled pork chop perfection combined with a blueberryginger relish creates a healthy dish to enjoy any night
of the week. For the best results, take a few minutes in
the morning to get the pork chops marinating. The
longer they marinate, the better the flavor! This
guiltless Eating Well recipe yields 4 servings and only
contains 229 calories and 8 grams of fat.
4 bone-in center-cut pork chops, (about 1¾ pounds), trimmed of fat
Marinade
3 tablespoons reduced-sodium soy sauce
2 tablespoons dry sherry
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 teaspoon brown sugar
¼ teaspoon crushed red pepper
Blueberry-Ginger Relish
1 cup fresh blueberries, coarsely chopped
1 shallot, chopped
1 serrano chile, seeded and minced
1 tablespoon chopped fresh cilantro
1 tablespoon lime juice
1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger
¼ teaspoon salt
Directions: To marinate, place pork chops in a large sealable plastic bag. Whisk soy sauce,
sherry, garlic, brown sugar, and crushed red pepper in a small bowl. Add the marinade to the
bag, seal, and turn to coat. Marinate in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours or overnight. To prepare the relish, combine blueberries, shallot, chile, cilantro, lime juice, ginger, and salt in a
small bowl about 20 minutes before grilling the pork. Preheat the grill to high. Remove the pork
chops from the marinade. Grill the chops 3 to 5 minutes per side. Let them rest for 5 minutes
before serving with the relish.
Recommended wine pairings: Pinot Noir shines when paired with pork and mild teriyaki
marinades, so it should come as no surprise that it’s our choice here. Try a bright,
acidic 2012 Ombré Pinot Noir or a spicy 2012 Porter and Plot—both delectable choices.
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How to Fix 17 Basic Cooking Mistakes
By Melissa Clark
Do you always burn the garlic or turn pasta into a gummy mess? Learn how to
avoid these all-too-common cooking mistakes.
Boiling Pasta in a Pot That’s Too Small
Why it’s bad: For starters, if you use long noodles, they might not fit
unless you break them first. But regardless of the pasta’s shape or
size, it will probably end up sticky and gummy. “When you add pasta
to a small amount of water, it lowers the temperature of the water
substantially more than if you added it to a large amount of water, so
the water will take longer to return to a boil. In the meantime, the
pasta will sit at the bottom of the pot and start to clump up and
become mushy unless you are vigilant about stirring,” says chef
Michael Symon, the owner of five restaurants in Cleveland and an Iron
Chef on the Food Network’s Iron Chef America. Also, your ratio of
pasta starch to water will be too high—another cause of sticking.
Do this instead: Unless you are cooking a single serving of pasta (in which case you can get
away with a smaller pot), do as Italian grandmothers do: Fill a large pot (5 to 6 quarts) wit h
water and let it come to a rapid boil. Then add 2 tablespoons of salt (don’t be shy—
professional chefs say pasta water should taste as salty as the sea). Finally, add the pasta and
stir it occasionally until it’s al dente.
Using the Wrong Knife
Why it’s bad: You’ll damage your food. If you’ve ever tried to slice a
baguette wit h a chef’s knife and flattened it as a result , you understand.
What’s more, when you select the proper knife for the job, you have
better control over the blade. This allows you to slice and dice more
neatly and efficiently—and helps you keep your digits intact.
Do this instead: Opt for a chef’s knife (the big one with the long, wide
blade) for most chopping, slicing, dicing, and mincing jobs. It gives you
the best leverage, which is particularly helpful when you’re dealing with
firm ingredients (like onions and squash) or cutting things into small pieces (like garlic and
fresh herbs). A small, slim paring knife is best for tasks such as peeling and removing pit s,
seeds, stems, and potato eyes. Pick up a serrated knife (with the sharp teeth) for bread and
bagels; delicate pastries, like meringues and cream puffs (the blade won’t compact the layers);
and smooth-skinned fruits and vegetables, like tomatoes and plums.
Using a Tiny Cutting Board
Why it’s bad: You won’t have room to maneuver a knife, which increases your risk of cutting
yourself. You’ll also make a mess and waste time corralling ingredients that fall off the board.
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Do this instead: Think small knife, small board; big knife, big board.
You can use a little board for a quick task, like cutting a lemon into
wedges with a paring knife. But since most kit chen prep work requires a
chef’s knife, you probably need a board that is at least 12 by 15 inches.
It should be large enough to hold ingredients at every stage of the process. For example, if you’re chopping celery, you want room for both the
stalks you start with and the pile of cut pieces you end up wit h. Before
you begin, place a damp paper towel or dishcloth underneath the board
to prevent it from slipping around on the counter.
Storing Tomatoes in the Refrigerator
Why it’s bad: Tomatoes have delicate cells, and excess cold (or heat,
for that matter) causes the cell walls to burst, leaving the tomatoes
mealy, says Aki Kamozawa, the author of Ideas in Food: Great Recipes
and Why They Work ($25, amazon.com). The flavor-producing enzymes
are also destroyed, rendering the tomatoes tasteless.
Do this instead: Keep tomatoes on the kitchen counter in a single layer
for maximum air circulation, and avoid putting them in direct sunlight.
(You can leave cherry and grape tomatoes in their packaging, so long as it contains holes.) To
speed ripening, place tomatoes in a paper bag wit h an apple, which emits ethylene gas, a
ripening agent. Once ripe, they’ll last for up to 3 days. Some varieties, like plum tomatoes, will
keep for up to 5 days.
Putting Good Knives in the Dishwasher
Why it’s bad: Convenience comes at a price. The high-pressure water
jets in a dishwasher cause knife blades to knock against other utensils in
the silverware basket, dulling and damaging them over time, says
Symon. (Unfortunately, a dishwasher that has a specially designed knife
rack isn’t much better: The blades can still rattle against the sides of the
rack.) Addit ionally, the intense heat of the drying cycle can cause knife
handles to warp, which will eventually loosen the rivets.
Do this instead: Wash knives by hand. Hold the handle so the blade faces away from you
and wipe it clean wit h a sponge. Dry knives immediately to avoid the risk of discoloration from
water droplets left on the blades. Just a few seconds of work will add years to the lives of your
knives.
Overcrowding the Pan
Why it’s bad: Most of us pile chicken breasts into a skillet or heap oven
fries onto a baking sheet if we’re in a hurry or we want fewer dishes to
wash. But when a pan is stuffed, the heat that rises from the cooking
surface becomes trapped under the food and creates steam, making oven
fries limp and preventing chicken breasts from getting that delectable
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caramelized crust.
Do this instead: To help ingredients brown (which gives food flavor and locks in moisture),
make sure the pieces aren’t touching one another in the pan. Patting damp food dry with a
paper towel before cooking also helps. Don’t have a large enough skillet or baking sheet? Cook
in batches, keeping the first batch warm on a plate tented with foil or in a low-temperature
oven while you prepare the second. Or use two skillets or baking sheets (switch the position of
the baking sheets in the oven halfway through the cooking time).
Choosing Lean Ground Beef
Why it’s bad: Nothing is sadder than a dull, dry burger or meatball,
which you’re virtually guaranteed to get if you use lean beef. Fat bastes
the meat as it cooks, keeping it rich and moist. When you opt for 90
percent lean ground beef, there’s simply less of the good stuff to make the
food tasty.
Do this instead: Go wit h ground chuck, which is typically only 80 or 85
percent lean. And don’t worry about the extra fat, says Kamozawa: “A lot of it drains off during
cooking—as much as 15 percent. So the 80 percent beef you start wit h can end up being
closer to 90 or 95 percent lean as long as you drain the fat from the pan.” And as the fat
drains, it loosens the interior structure of the meat, so you end up with a less dense—and
therefore more tender—burger.
Overmixing Doughs and Batters
Why it’s bad: Overmixing flour activates the gluten, a protein that can
give baked goods a firm and elastic structure—delicious in a chewy pizza
crust but less so in a delicate pastry.
Do this instead: Go slow and gentle for tender cakes and flaky piecrusts. When adding dry ingredients to cookie and cake batters, use the
lowest speed on an electric mixer or mix by hand until just combined. A
few lumps in the batter are fine. For piecrust, whether you use a food
processor or mix by hand, work the dough as little as possible. Visible bits of butter and
streaks of flour are desirable.
Cooking With a Cold Pan—and Cold Oil
or Butter
Why it’s bad: If the oil isn’t hot enough, those sautéed vegetables
will adhere to the pan like glue, giving you a tough scrubbing job later
on. A hot pan and oil bond to create a surface that’s virtually nonstick.
(Want more incentive to preheat your skillet? See mistake No. 10.)
Do this instead: Heat an empty pan for at least 1 or 2 minutes. The
pan is ready when you can hold your hand about 3 inches above it and
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feel the heat radiating from the surface. Then add the fat. Oil will shimmer when it’s hot;
butter should melt and foam. One exception: If you’re using a nonstick pan to brown delicate
foods, add the oil or butter before turning on the heat, since some nonstick pans release
fumes when they’re heated up empty for an extended period.
Searing Meat Over Too-Low Heat
Why it’s bad: “A good steakhouse sear requires a burst of heat so
that the proteins in the meat cook quickly,” says Kamozawa. If you
keep your burner on low to medium, the inside of the steak will be
done at the same time as the outside, with very little browning.
Do this instead: Crank the heat up to medium-high or high and let
the pan sizzle for a couple of minutes before putting the meat in it.
For even better results, use a heavy pan that retains heat, such as a
cast-iron skillet.
Adding Garlic Too Early
Why it’s bad: Garlic browns in less than a minute. If you add it to the
pan with, say, chicken breasts—which need about 15 minutes to cook
through—the garlic will scorch and turn bitter long before the meat is
finished.
Do this instead: Whenever possible, use sliced garlic or smashed
whole cloves, which are less susceptible to burning than minced or
pressed garlic. And add garlic close to the end of the cooking process.
(The exceptions are long braises, stews, and sauces; the liquid will keep the garlic from
scorching.) If a sauté recipe asks for garlic to be added at the beginning, have the remaining
ingredients prepped and ready to go so you can add them quickly, before the garlic starts to
burn while on its own.
Tossing Cooked Pasta With Oil to Prevent
Sticking
Why it’s bad: The sauce won’t adhere to the noodles. Period.
Do this instead: To stop cooked pasta from clumping, toss it wit h a
little sauce immediately after draining. Or, if you won’t be serving the
pasta for 15 minutes or more, rinse the noodles under cold water to remove the starch. Then, just before sitting down to eat, reheat the pasta
directly in the pot of sauce.
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Using a Nonstick Pan for Everything
Why it’s bad: “Unlike cast-iron and stainless-steel pans, nonstick
pans transfer heat slowly, so you get less browning on the meat,” says
Tom Brenna, a professor of nutrition at Cornell University. And what
little browning does occur will take longer, which puts you at risk of
overcooking dinner.
-iron pan.
Do this instead: Pull out a nonstick skillet when you need to cook
delicate foods, such as fish or breaded items, or particularly sticky
foods, such as eggs. Otherwise opt for a regular stainless-steel or cast
Turning Meat Too Often or Too Soon
Why it’s bad: “Think of a wet sponge,” says Tucker Bunch, a chefinstructor at the Culinary Institute of America at Greystone, in St.
Helena, California. “The more you squeeze, prod, and touch it , the more
liqu id you expel. A pork chop is no different. Also, the meat won’t be in
one place long enough to brown. You’ll wind up wit h a tough, gray chop
and a wet pan.”
Do this instead: Be patient. If you’re not sure whether a chop is ready
to be flipped, nudge it or use tongs to lift a corner. It will release from the pan when the
outside is sufficiently browned. If it sticks, let it continue to cook undisturbed and try again in a
minute or so.
Baking With Cold Eggs and Dairy Products
Why it’s bad: It results in dense cakes and breads. At room
temperature, eggs, butter, and liquids such as milk bond and form an
emulsion that traps air. During baking, the air expands, leavening the
batter or dough and producing a light and airy baked good. Cold
ingredients, on the other hand, don’t incorporate evenly to bond.
Do this instead: Take eggs, butter, and any other dairy products out
of the refrigerator at least 30 minutes and up to 1 hour before baking. Short on time? Cut the
butter into 1-inch pieces and microwave them in 10-second intervals, checking in between,
until they’re just malleable. Place cold eggs in a bowl of warm water for 15 minutes. “Don’t use
hot water or leave the eggs on top of a hot oven,” says Hedy Goldsmith, the executive pastry
chef at Michael’s Genuine Food and Drink, in Miami. “It will heat them unevenly, and the
whit es will start to set.” (Exception to this rule: Piecrust and pastry recipes often call for cold
butter, which creates flaky layers.)
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Slicing Meat Immediately After It’s
Cooked
Why it’s bad: When meat is hot, the muscle fibers contract and
disperse juice. If you cut into it right away, the juices wind up on
the cutting board instead of inside the roast.
Do this instead: Let the meat rest after cooking so the muscles
can relax and the juices redistribute (tent it with foil to prevent it
from losing too much heat). For large roasts and whole chickens,
wait at least 15 minutes before carving (a turkey needs closer to
30). Smaller cuts, like steak, need 5 to 10 minutes. Chops benefit
from just a few minutes’ rest—about the amount of time it takes to get them from stove to
table. And remember: When slicing steaks and roasts, make sure to cut against the grain. This
will break up the ropy fibers, giving you a more tender piece of meat.
Measuring Dry Ingredients in a Liquid
Measuring Cup
Why it’s bad: To get a read on the amount of, say, flour in a liquid
measuring cup, you have to shake the cup or knock it on a counter to
create a level line. “The flour will become compacted, and you’ll end up
with more than the recipe calls for,” says Goldsmith. “The result: dry
and tough cakes and muffins.”
Do this instead: Use dry measuring cups when portioning out flour,
sugar, cocoa powder, and cornstarch, as their flat rims are designed to help you get the most
accurate measure. Spoon the ingredient into a cup, then sweep off the excess with the side of
a knife. Resist the temptation to scoop directly from the bin or bag with the cup—you’ll
compact the ingredients, with the same result as above. In a pinch, you can use a dry cup to
measure a liquid, but you’ll risk sp illing, since you have to fill it to the rim.
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The Gossip Fence
Transgender In The News
The U.S. is falling behind on trans identity laws
Pretty much everyone, including the president, recognizes that Caitlyn Jenner is a woman. But if she wanted to legally prove
it by having her California driver’s license say she’s a woman, she would need a note from her doctor.
That’s because the U.S. has lagged behind other countries when it comes to laws that allow transgender people to sel f-declare
their sex on government-issued IDs. Laws vary from state to state, but all of them require some form of medical approval.
Some require sex reassignment surgery before they allow people to update their gender on legal documents. And others, like
Kansas, Idaho and Tennessee, will not issue changes to the sex listed on a birth certificate.
In order for a transgender person in Californi a to get a driver’s license with the correct gender marker, they need a physician
or psychologist to certify that they’re transitioning or have completed their transition.
“ No one needs a doctor to verify their gender,” said Sasha Buchert, a staff attorney at the Transgender Law Center, a San
Francisco based civil rights organization.
Meanwhile, a somewhat surprising country has become a leader on trans identity laws. Colombia this week said it would drop
requirem ents that forced trans people to first seek medical or court approval to change their gender. Instead, they can do so
simply by going to a notary and signing a legal document. Denmark, Argentina and Malta also allow transgender people to
change their sex on government issued identifications without getting medical approval first. Ireland is poised to do the same
later this month.
For transgender people in the United States updating legal documents can be complicated, expensive, and sometimes
impossible. “ A few states do not allow gender changes at all, either via case law or – in the case of Tennessee – through a
statute that expressly prohibits transgender people from changing the gender designated on their birth certifi cates,” said
Stacey Long Simmons, director of public policy and government affairs for the LGBT rights group National LGBTQ Task
Force.
Simmons said states are trending toward easing the requirements for updating gender markers like, eliminating court orders
and surgical requirem ents. Just in the last month, for example, Connecticut, Maryland, and Hawaii passed birth certifi cate
modernization bills, which replace surgical requirements with gender change letters from physicians.
But even laws in more progressive states present barriers for trans people. “ Even these less invasive requirements present
financial barriers that fall disproportionately on low-income individuals, who often cannot afford therapy, time off work, or
court costs and attorney fees,” said Simmons. At the federal level, surgery is no longer required for gender marker updates to
passports and Social Security records but medical thresholds still remain.
If a trans person applies for a passport, for example, they have to get doctor to declare under penalty of perjury that the
applicant “ had appropriate clinical treatment for gender transition to the new gender.”
If the applicant is in the process of transitioning, they can apply for a passport that’s valid for two years. If they’ve
already complet ed their transition, they’re able to apply for a full passport that’s valid for ten years.
In the end all these barriers result in many transgender people not having government-issued documents that reflect their
gender identity.
Only one fi fth (21 percent) of transgender people have been able to update all of their IDs and records with their new gender,
and one third (33 percent) had updated none of their IDs/records, according to a 2011 survey conducted by the LGBT civil
76
rights groups the National LGBTQ Task Force and National Center for Transgender Equality.
Philadelphia Raises the Transgender Pride Flag for the First Time
For the first time, the City of Brotherly Love had the iconic pink, white, and blue of the transgender pride flag waving
proudly above City Hall commemorating the start of the 14th annual Philadelphia Transgender Health Conference.
While the city has before hoisted the rainbow colors of the LGBT flag — and even has rainbows adorning the street signs of
its "gayborhood" district — flying the pride flag is a new way for the city to specifi cally celebrate its transgender citizens.
Making its debut appearance in the U.S. back in 1999, the trans pride flag will remain up in Philadelphia through the end of
the conference.
Stonewall Inn, famous Greenwich Village gay bar, being considered for landmark status by NYC
The Greenwich Village Society for Historic Preservation is cheering the city for considering landmarking the fam ed
Stonewall Inn. The Society has lobbied the Landmarks Preservation Commission to protect the Stonewall, often called the
cradle of the gay rights movement since patrons in 1969 fought back against police raids targeting the bar based on the sexual
orientation of its customers.
“This is a long-overdue move to recognize the incredibly important role this site and the riots connected to it have in the
struggle for LGBT rights in this country and worldwide,” said Andrew Berman, executive director of the Society, on Friday.
“ It is critical that the history of sites like Stonewall and the immeasurably important role they played in making our country a
more just, open, and accepting place, is recognized and preserved.”
Landmark designation further shields the Stonewall Inn from being altered or demolished within the Greenwich Village
Historic District, established in 1969. Status as a historic district provides some defensive measures for the building’s
exterior, but not the interior, state Sen. Brad Hoylman warns.
He has been asking Landmarks Preservation Commission for landmark status since Jan. 2014, fearing the sudden destruction
of Frank Lloyd Wright’s automotive showroom on Park Avenue and 56th Street, when Midwood Investment & Management
and Oestreicher Properties had the interior utterly demolished in 2013, could happen again.
Girl Scouts Reject Hate Group, Welcome Trans Girls
Girl Scouts of the USA has long welcomed transgender girls in its troops. But after the anti-LGBT American Family
Association recently target ed the organization, Girl Scouts leadership doubled down on their trans-inclusive stance.
Earlier this month, the American Family Association (which is classified as an anti-LGBT hate group by the Southern
Poverty Law Center) launched a petition inaccurately claiming "a new Girl Scouts of America policy states it will extend
members to boys who identify as girls." The petition, which had more than 38,900 signatures at press time, urged supporters
to "stop this nonsense by rescinding this dangerous policy."
It went on to allege that transgender girls, incorrectly identified as "boys in skirts" and "transgender boys" would "put young
innocent girls at risk." The language evoked repeatedly debunked, transphobic arguments that equate trangender people with
sexual predators — even though studies show transgender women, especially, are the most at-risk of verbal and physical
harassment when using gender-s egregated spaces like restrooms and locker rooms, compared to their cisgender (nontrans)
counterparts.
Girl Scouts leadership, however, responded in a way that simultaneously rejected AFA's fear-mongering while refusing to
dignify the group's scare tactics with a direct address, notes LGBT blog The New Civil Rights Movement. In a statement
published on the offici al Girl Scouts website May 14, Girl Scouts USA Chief Girl Expert, Andrea Bastani Archibald clari fied
the organization's intent in "serving all girls."
"If a girl is recognized by her family, school and community as a girl and lives culturally as a girl, Girl Scouts is an
organization that can serve her in a setting that is both emotionally and physically safe. Inclusion of transgender girls is
handled at a council level on a case by case basis, with the welfare and best interests of all members as a top priority."
The Girl Scouts of the USA, which is headquartered in New York City, first made waves with trans-inclusive policies back in
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2011, when news broke that a Denver troop had welcomed a 7-year-old transgender girl into its ranks. Throughout
the resulting backlash — including a brief, failed effort at a boycott of the famous Girl Scout cookies — the national
organization's message was clear: Scouting is for all girls.
How Big Is the Transgender Population?
There’s no national data on the size of the transgender population because offi cial record collectors like the United States
Census Bureau don’t ask about gender identity. And, for many, gender is fluid, flexible, or not easily defined by a multiplechoice survey. Getting an accurate count is further complicated by the discrimination and violence that force many transgender individuals to hide their identity or never transition.
But population numbers are essential in securing public services and medical assistance, as well as tracking discriminatory
practices — and so, recently, the Census Bureau used existing Social Security Administration data to try to get a rough
number.
In last month’s paper, Census economist Benjamin Cerf Harris looked at people who’d changed their names to those typically
associated with the opposite gender and/or registered a di fferent sex with the Social Security Administration (SSA). Harris
found that since the SSA began in 1936, 135,367 people have altered their name to one of the opposite gender and a little
more than 30,000 have changed their sex accordingly. Of those who’d participated in the 2010 census, nearly 90,000 had
changed their name and 21,883 had changed their sex, too.
These numbers likely undercount the transgender population, which other surveys have suggested is significantly higher. The
data doesn’t include those who haven’t notified the SSA of their transition, people with gender-neutral names, those who
haven’t changed their names, and noncitizens. Additionally, from 2002 to 2013, the SSA required proof of genital surgery
before allowing the official recording of a sex change, a requirement (since abandoned) that doesn’t take into account the full
spectrum of how transgender peopl e choose to mark their transition.
Nonetheless, quantitative data is useful in establishing information on the lives of transgender people. Accordingly, most
transgender people are in their mid-30s when they start registering name or sex transitions with the SSA. Transgender women
tend to do so later than transgender men. Harris’s work showed that states with laws that prohibit discrimination based on
sexual identity (like Oregon, Vermont, and Washington) have larger shares of transgender people. States without these
discrimination laws (like the Dakotas, Alabama, and Louisiana) have the smallest percentage of document ed transgender
residents. These disparities are probably due both to transgender people gravitating toward safer communities and the
necessity of hiding their identity in inhospitable climates.
17 School Districts Debunk Right-Wing Lies About Protections For Transgender Students
The collective experience of 17 U.S. school districts has shattered the right-wing myth that says prohibiting discrimination
against transgender students causes confusion and inappropriate behavior. Years after implementing their own antidiscrimination policies, none of the schools have experienced any problems.
REPORT: Trans Students Have Caused Zero Incidents in Bathrooms Nationwide
As presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee continues to make headlines for cracking a a tasteless joke about wishing he'd
pretended to be a trans teenager so he could have snuck into women's locker rooms, a far more noteworthy occurence
happened: The scenario Huckabee imagined has failed to materialize in any of the 17 largest school districts within U.S.
states that have trans-inclusive nondiscrimination policies.
In fact, not one of the schools — which serve more than 600,000 students — has reported a single inappropriate act,
harassment, or "negative consequence" since they began implementing policies to include and protect trans students using
gender-affi rming bathrooms, locker rooms, and sports teams, according to a new report by Media Matters for Ameri ca.
Police report: Josh Duggar molested 5-year-old sister, committed at least 7 acts of sexual molestation
Josh Duggar confessed to his father Jim Bob Duggar on THREE separate occasions to multiple acts of sexual molestation
against his sisters and a family friend, according to a new police report obtained exclusively by In Touch magazine. The
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document also makes clear that Josh was 15 years old when he molested his 5-year-old sister and committed at least SEVEN
acts of sexual molestation.
The new report is from the Washington County Sheriff’s Offi ce and was obtained by In Touch using the Freedom of
Information Act. In Touch broke the story about Josh’s dark past and previously obtained and published a Springdale Police
Department report about the molestations, also by using FOIA.
With fewer redactions than the first report, the Washington County Sheriff’s document makes it clear that despite Josh’s
chilling confessions the Duggars waited at least 16 months before contacting authorities about the molestations, even though
the behavior was continuing and growing worse. During that period they did not get professional counseling for Josh or his
victims. Legal experts tell In Touch that Jim Bob and Michelle could have faced six years in prison for their inaction, if the
statute of limitations had not expired.
The new police report continues to raise questions about why Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar failed to act in alerting
authorities despite Josh’s repeated confessions of sexual molestation and why they didn’t do more to protect their daughters.
Josh Duggar has actively campaigned against marriage equality and LGBT rights. He is married with three children. As
Right Wing Watch notes, the FRC regularly paints the LGBT community as a precarious threat to children, and Josh Duggar
and his family regularly participat e in that rhetoric. TLC has pulled the Duggar family’s reality show, “ 19 Kids and
Counting,” from its schedule, but has not announced whether it will be cancelled or return.
Dan Savage calls Duggar family hypocrites for anti-trans activism
Columnist and LGBTI activist Dan Savage thinks the Duggar family are hypocrites. The stars of the TLC reality show 19
Children and Counting have been rocked by scandal aft er it became public last week that eldest child Josh Duggar had
molested five girls when he was a teenager - including two of his sisters.
Savage wasted no time in pointing out that in 2012 family matriarch Michelle Duggar made a Robocall speaking out against
legislation in Fayetteville, North Carolina, that would let transgender people use bathrooms based on their gender identity.
Duggar, who at that point had known for nine years that her son had molested his sisters and others, said in part: 'I don't
believe the citizens of Fayetteville would want males with past child predator convictions that claim they are femal e to have a
legal right to enter private areas that are res erved for women and girls.'
Appearing on MSNBC's All in With Chris Hayes over the weekend Savage said religious consevatives 'want to point a finger
at non-family' when speaking for anti-LGBTI legislation and particularly for anti-trans bathroom bills.
'... What the Duggars have dug in on is attacking trans people and opposing this LGBT civil rights bill in Fayetteville, where
they were out there arguing that the threat to little girls in Fayetteville were transwomen when they knew, when they were
covering for someone who had demonstrated, at least at that age, was a threat to little girls himself.'
Anti-trans violence and murders are on the rise
Alejandra Leos was a 41-year-old transgender woman, fat ally shot in Memphis, Tennessee in September last year. Aniya
Parker was a 47-year-old transgender woman, shot by a group of men in Los Angeles in October.
And Ashley Sherman was a 25-year-old transgender woman, found dead from a gunshot wound in Indianapolis again in
October.
These are just three in a long list of transgender people who were killed or injured in attacks last year. They are evidence of a
new set of statistics which suggest that, while incidents of anti-LGBT violence dropped 32% in the US in 2014, anti-trans
violence rose 13%.
The figures, from a new report by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP), also found homicides of
LGBT people rose 11% compared to 2013. Reflecting a four-year trend, the data indicates transgender women and LGBT
people of color were at greater risk of homicide than the LGBT community as a whole. Of the 20 LGBT people killed in
hate-motivated attacks in 2014, 16 were people of color and 11 were transgender women of color.
The report also warned that the decline in anti-LGBT violence should not be celebrated as a decrease in attacks overall. It
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suggested that the figures could be down to fewer individuals reporting crimes, or fewer crimes being offi cially classi fied as
bias or hate crimes - the real figure could be much higher.
For example, it found just over half of victims surveyed - 54% - had reported their attacks to the police, which was up from
45% in 2013. Meanwhile, it found that when LGBT victims had reported crimes to the authorities, 27% said they had
experienced hostile attitudes from police.
'When law enforcement does not take the violence seriously, it sends a message to survivors that what happens to them is not
a problem,' Jindasurat said. 'On a macro level, it continues to minimize the extent of the problem.'
Applications for NYC transgender birth certificates skyrocket since policy change
NEW YORK — The number of New Yorkers who have applied for transgender birth certifi cates has skyrocketed since the
city council removed the sex reassignment surgery requirement. The council decided last year that a person does not need to
have sex reassignment surgery to change the gender designation on his or her birth certifi cate.
The city's health commissioner, Dr. Mary Travis Bassett, said Wednesday the city has received and approved 129 certi fi cates
since January 12. That's a massive increase compared to 22 certi ficates approved in 2013 and 20 in 2012. The city's previous
policy required anyone wishing to change his or her birth certificat e to undergo the surgery, which can be medically and
financially prohibitive. Advocates argued that making the surgical procedure mandatory was discriminatory.
Connecticut lawmakers vote to make it easier to change gender on birth certificates
HARTFORD, Connecticut —The Connecticut legislature is sending a bill to Gov. Dannel P. Malloy that makes it easier for
transgender people to update their names and gender on their birth certificates.
On Monday, the Senate voted 32-3 in favor of the bill that would allow any person who has undergone surgical, hormonal or
other clinically appropriate treatment for gender transition to change their sex on their birth certificat e. Regulations now only
allow people to change the designation after completing gender reassignment surgery.
Stephen Glassman, executive director of ACLU of Connecticut, said the legislation "modernizes our outdated laws and makes
Connecticut a national leader once again in an evolving understanding of transgender rights."
Maryland Becomes 7th State to Modernize Birth Certificate Access
Maryland’s modernized birth certi ficat e gender marker policy becomes law by default on June 3, 2015. The law will take
effect on October 1, 2015. After passing the state legislature nearly 30 days ago, Maryland joins six other states and the
federal government in removing burdensome and unnecessary barri ers to obtaining a birth certifi cate that reflects who
transgender people are.
Maryland’s previous birth certificate gender change policy required a court order and proof of sex reassignment surgery in
order to change the sex listed on a birth certifi cate. With this bill, individuals can now update the sex listed on their birth
certi ficate by submitting a letter from a licensed medical provider stating that the individual has had appropriate clinical
treatment for gender transition. This victory aligns Maryland with other states that have modernized their birth certi ficat e
policies (CA, OR, VT, WA, NY and DC), and several other states are currently considering similar bills.
Western University study finds that risk of suicide in transgender community may be reduced by changing policy and
societal factors
Western University researchers have determined that policy and societal changes may prevent thousands of transgender adults
in Ontario from attempting or seriously considering suicide.
Greta Bauer, PhD, professor in the Department of Epidemiology & Biostatistics at Western’s Schulich School of Medicine &
Dentistry, led the study published in BMC Public Health. The findings present the first evidence of the connection between
viewing gender recognition as a human right and the reduction of suicide amongst transgender people. It has been estimated
that there are approximat ely 53,500 transgender adults in Ontario.
Bauer’s study examines potentially modifiable factors affecting the daily lives of transgender people that may lead to suicidal
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thoughts and suicide attempts. According to the study, in the past year, an estimated 35.1 per cent of trans Ontarians seriously
considered suicide and 11.2 per cent reported a suicide attempt. A total of 433 respondents participated in the study.
These modifiable factors include social support, having identity documents that match expressed gender, protection from
transphobia – defined as ranging from verbal harassment to physical and sexual assaults – and medical transition to bring
hormones, anatomy or both in alignment with expressed gender.
The study found that high social support, specifically parent al support, is associated with the potential prevention of 170 cases
of serious consideration of suicide per 1000 trans individuals. The data also showed if transgender people are protect ed from
transphobia, 160 cases of serious consideration of suicide could be potentially prevented per 1000 trans persons. Having one
or more identity documents which match expressed gender, such as a passport or driver’s license, is associated with the
potential prevention of 90 cases of considering suicide.
The study estimated that most of these factors had the potential to reduce the suicide attempt rate among those who were
considering suicide.
New OSHA Guide to Restoom Access for Transgender Employees
The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) announced new guidelines today to ensure that all employees
have access to restrooms that correspond to their gender identity.
OSHA's “ Guide to Restroom Access for Transgender Workers ” follows the establishment of an alliance form ed between OSHA and the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) in early May of this year. The
guidelines cover the basics of gender identity and clari fy the importance of equal restroom access as a means to preserve
health and safety for all employees. NCTE will be working with OSHA to promote these guidelines and educate workers and
employers about their rights and responsibilities surrounding restroom access over the next two years.
“ OSHA is making clear that denying something basic as restroom access to transgender workers is not only an assault on dignity and their rights, but a threat to their health as well,” said NCTE policy director Harper Jean Tobin. "All employers should
take note, and workers should use this document as another tool to assert their rights."
Federal OSHA rules requires that all employers provide employees with sanitary and available toilet facilities, so that
employees will not suffer the advers e health effects that can result if toilets are not available when employees need them. The
new guidelines stress that segregating or excluding trans workers from facilities consistent with their gender identity can
effectively prevent them from using the restroom at all, at risk to their health. Because they may constitute an unreasonable
restriction on this basic guarantee, denial of reasonable access to restrooms consistent with an employee's gender identity may
constitute a violation of the OSHA rules, as well as non-discrimination laws. Violations of OSHA rules and nondiscrimination laws may provide workers with grounds to file a complaint with OSHA or equivalent state OSHA agencies,
and/or a complaint with the EEOC.
The guidelines issued today specifically note that “ [t]he employee should determine the most appropriate and safest option for
him- or herself.” It is NCTE's position that this guideline extends important protection to non-binary trans people, as people
of all gender identities must be allowed to decide which restroom best suits their needs.
“ A Guide to Restroom Access for Transgender Workers” follows a historic ruling from the EEOC, holding that denying
transgender employees access to the correct restroom is discrimination, as well as from the DOL, clarifying that managers
shouldn’t second guess employees about what restrooms are right for them to use. This is also consistent with recently
updated guidancefrom the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) for all federal agenci es, similar guidance from the
Department of Labor for its own employees.
For more information on your rights in the workplace, please visit our Know Your Rights page on employment.
Transgender Transitions More Complicated For Those Living In Rural Areas
Quite a bit of the reaction to Caitlyn Jenner coming out as a transgender woman has been positive. This represents how ideas
about gender and identity are changing in America. But when it comes to rural communities, it can be more complicated for
people who's gender identity don't align with their biological sex.
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In rural areas where access to medical care and treatment is already limited, it can be a challenge for people who wish to
transition to the gender identity they feel is truly theirs.
"So if you have a kid who has a gender identity or a sexual orientation that does not fit with the mainstream, access to care is
really important because those guys and girls are more likely to experience depression and anxiety and a whole host of mental
health concerns," says Tracy Cohn, an Associate Professor of Psychology and therapist at the graduate school of counseling
psychology at Radford University. Cohn stresses it’s not being gay or transgender that causes psychological issues.
According to the research, it has more to do with the level of acceptance people get from their families, fri ends and society.
While most people don't have the kind of resources Jenner had to make the gender transition, that level of support and
affirmation has been shown to dramatically decrease the anxiety depression and rates of suicide in gay and transgender
people.
Church of England to consider transgender naming ceremony
The Church of England is to debate plans to introduce a ceremony akin to a baptism to mark the new identities of Christians
who undergo gender transition.
The Rev Chris Newlands, the vicar of Lancaster Priory, has proposed a motion to the General Synod to debate the issue, after
he was approached by a young transgender person seeking to be “ re-baptised” in his new identity.
The motion, which was passed by Blackburn Diocese last month, calls on the House of Bishops to consider whether it should
introduce a new service to mark the milestone in the life of a trans person. A spokesperson for the Archbishops’ Council
confirmed that the motion had been received, but said it would not be debated imminently.
Newlands urged the church to take the lead on welcoming a group that suffered high levels of discrimination.
The Church of England’s position on transgender people accepts that two opposing theological views of transexual people’s
experience and gender transition can “ properly be held”, similar to that of the views over women’s ordination, according to a
House of Bishops memo in 2003.
However, a more form al recognition of gender reassignment would provoke controversy within conservative sectors of the
church.
A spokesperson for the Archbishops’ Council said: “ Any of the 42 diocesan synods is free to propose items for debate at the
General Synod. The Blackburn motion will join a queue of motions for debate and is therefore unlikely to be debated
imminently. As the motion itself makes clear, any motion passed at General Synod would be the beginning not the end of a
process.”
The motion states: “That this Synod, recognising the need for transgender people to be welcomed and affi rmed in their parish
church, call on the House of Bishops to consider whether some nationally commended liturgical materials might be prepared
to mark a person’s gender transition.”
Growing Number Of Americans Say They Understand What It Means To Be Transgender
Americans' understanding of what it means to be transgender has grown since Caitlyn Jenner came out about her transition
this May. In a new HuffPost/YouGov poll, 42 percent of Americans say they have a very or extremely good understanding of
what it means to be transgender, up from 31 percent just this February.
Forty-three percent say they've been following news about Jenner, and more than half say they've learned some or a great deal
about transgender issues in the past year.
So far, that increased awareness doesn't seem to have translated into changing minds on some of the issues advocates are
fighting for. As in February, Americans are about evenly split on whether parents should allow their children to identify as a
different gender from the one they were assigned at birth, and on whether transgender people should be allowed to use public
restrooms, dressing rooms and locker rooms designated for a different gender than the one they were assigned at birth.
Still, the survey suggests that just knowing someone who is transgender makes people significantly more comfortable with
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both ideas.
Among Americans who knew at least one transgender person, 57 percent said transgender people should be able to use
restrooms and dressing rooms for their preferred gender, and 46 percent said parents should allow their children to identify as
a different gender from the one they were assigned at birth. Among those who didn't know someone transgender, just 31
percent and 33 percent, respectively, said the same.
Another recent survey, conducted by SurveyMonkey for NBC News, found that most Americans think transgender people
face prejudice today, but that 76 percent believe society will be at least somewhat more accepting 10 years from now. Sixtysix percent said Jenner's transition would help society along that road.
Transgender marriage scrutinised by MPs' new equalities committee
Parliament’s new Women and Equalities Committee will examine a much-criticised “ veto” on transgender people who want
to change their legal gender.
The Conservative former culture secretary, Maria Miller, was elected chai rman of the committee last week. She said problems
faced by transgender people are an “ emerging issue”. Under the 2013 Marriage Act, the spouse of someone who has
received a gender recognition certi ficate legalising the change of gender, must give permission for the marriage to continue.
The Government believed it was unfair on that spouse to see his or her marital status changed to same-sex without consent.
But critics argue the law amounts to a veto that makes obtaining a certifi cate dependent on the spouse. “While there are some
pieces of legislation, I’m not sure how effective it is,” said Ms Miller. “Some of this legislation around gaining permission to
change gender is something the committee would want to look at.”
Clarifying Protections for LGBT Federal Workers
The four agencies jointly responsible for equal opportunity for federal workers issued a new handbook outlining protections
and procedures for addressing bias based on gender identity and sexual orientation. The guide makes clear that both gender
identity and sexual orientation discrimination are prohibited under Executive Orders, federal civil services rules, and by Title
VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 as forms of sex discrimination. It walks employees through the different procedures and
remedies availabl e in LGBT discrimination cases. The guide was published jointly by the Offi ce of Personnel Managem ent,
the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, the US Office of Special Counsel, and the Merit Systems Protection Board.
Numerous opinions in recent years, including from the EEOC and the Attorney General, have made clear that Title VII
prohibited discrimination based on gender identity. Most recently, an April EEOC decision made clear that employers must
provide workers access to restroom consistent with their gender identity—a decision backed up this week by guidance from
the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA). Less well known is that courts and the EEOC have
increasingly viewed adverse job actions based on sexual orientation—whether because an individual is in a same-sex
relationship or is simply known to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual—as fundamentally gender-bas ed as well.
Addressing Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Discrimination in Federal Civilian Employment
Now Ireland is creating some of the best trans identity laws in the world
Irish trans people will be given the freedom to choose for themselves when they can legally change their gender under a new
bill. The updates to the Gender Recognition Bill will allow without trans people to change their gender without having to
submit medical evidence; instead, the application process will be based on self-declaration by way of statutory declaration.
The decision comes just weeks after Ireland voted overwhelmingly for same-sex marri age equality in a referendum.
‘That is why we are moving to a self-declaration model for people aged 18 and over. This approach will have no impact on
the treatment pathway which is completely separate from the civil registration process.’
The Transgender Equality Network Irel and (TENI) applauded the government on the ‘hugely significant’ move.
‘Ireland has now taken its place as an international leader in this human rights area,’ said TENI Chief Executive Broden
Giambrone. ‘The Government has shown great vision and conviction in ensuring the rights of trans people. This legislation
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will significantly improve the lived realities of trans people in Ireland.’
In light of the landslide win in last month’s referendum on marriage equality, the Bill will also no longer contain the ‘forced
divorce’ clause which required people wanting to transition to decide between their families and legal recognition.
Applicants aged 16 and 17 will still require a court process, involving medical statements, before they can apply for a gender
recognition certi ficate.
Casa Ruby Is A 'Chosen Family' For Trans People Who Need A Home
Ruby Corado runs Casa Ruby, a drop-in and service center for transgender people in Washington, D.C. Through the center,
Corado helps people find housing, medical care and get food. Corado also has two 22 beds in transitional housing for
transgender adults and youth who would otherwise be homeless.]
If you're transgender in America, you're far more likely than other people to be unemployed, homeless and poor. And there's a
4 in 10 chance you've tried to kill yourself. It can be a confusing and lonely life.
One woman who's been through it all is Ruby Corado. She's a 45-year-old transgender woman in Washington, D.C., who is
now trying to help others along the difficult path.
"Most of the people who come to Casa Ruby don't have a family that accepts them, or that loves them for the most part. So
we have a family here, and it is the concept of a chosen family," she says. Corado says people here want a better life. They
don't want to have to rely on drugs and prostitution to survive, which is what Corado did until a brutal attack by a client
several years ago left her hospitalized and destitute.
She says the only thing that kept her going was knowing there were others like her who needed help. So three years ago,
Corado opened Casa Ruby using her own money, a lump sum payment she received from winning a disability case aft er she
was attacked.
Today, Casa Ruby is a growing nonprofit. But more than anything, it's a haven for many in the transgender community.
Inside the house there are posters reminding people to get checked for HIV. Clients can meet with counselors, who speak
English and Spanish. Downstairs there's a drop in center, with purple walls and stuffed teddy bears on the window sill, and
free food for anyone who's hungry.
Corado says some people are so battered by the time they get here, that it can take a lot to get them back on their own feet. "I
don't believe in just healing with little band-aids. I think they need major surgery sometimes," she says. "And I want to make
sure that once they're all healed, they have an opportunity to find jobs, secure housing, go to school." So she tries to provide
the services they need. Or, if she can't, she finds someone who can.
Corado says it's the kind of help she never received. She came to the U.S. as a teenager from El Salvador in the 1980s.
Initially, she lived as a gay male, but says that didn't seem quite right. Even as a small child she felt like she should be a girl.
So she made the transition about 20 years ago. Corado says she was finally happy with herself, but found out she'd also
transitioned to poverty and a life of ridicule. She could no longer get work. She was pelted with eggs, thrown off buses and
asked to leave stores.
"For the first time I endure real violence. Before, people would just say, oh faggot, you know, and didn't try to attempt to hit
me. People felt that they had the right to fix me," she says.
Corado thinks attitudes are changing, but slowly.
She recently opened two more houses, with the help of grants from the city and foundations. One house is a transitional home
for gay and transgender homeless youth. The other is for homeless adults. Many transgender people say they have a di fficult
time staying in homeless shelters, which are usually designated for either men or women.
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Big Brother US gets first out transgender contestant
The first openly transgender housemate will enter the US Big Brother house soon.
Audrey Middleton, from a small town in Georgia, will look to repeat the success of out trans Big Brother UK contestant
Nadia Almada, who won the fi fth season here. Middleton, who was open about her identity on her application, calls herself a
“superfan” of Big Brother, is a former competitive swimmer and MMA ring girl.
The 25-year-old digital media consultant says in her bio that she “loves to get dressed up and look fabulous head-to-toe, but
also isn’t afraid to get dirty.” She also said she likes “ fabulous hair, lashes, makeup,” and is “the Beyoncé of her li fe story.”
According to Variety, Middleton will discuss her transition openly on the show, from the first episode of season 17. “ Audrey
Middleton is a ‘Big Brother’ super fan who applied online, like many other hopeful houseguests, and was open about her
transition in the application process,” a CBS spokesperson said
“ It is customary for ‘Big Brother’ houseguests to share personal news inside the house, and Audrey plans to discuss her story
with the houseguests in her own words during the premiere episode on Wednesday, June 24.” In her introduction video, she
says:“ I think that I’m bringing in a very versatile perspective of a character that hasn’t been brought before,” Middleton said
in her introduction video.
“ I think there’s a chance I could be a misunderstood hero, but I’m going to be a hero.”
Mike Huckabee Transphobia Fallout Continues: Nonprofit Cancels Speech Invite
When Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee came under fire earlier this month for making a transphobic joke at the
National Religious Broadcasters Convention in February, he claimed the outcry was only a liberal media ploy — but this
week one Canadian nonprofit showed him that his words have more consequences than he bargained for.
In direct response to Huckabee's remarks and the subsequent outcry among Canadian LGBT rights and Jewish advocates, the
Jewish National Fund of Canada canceled a speechWednesday Huckabee was scheduled to give in October at Ottawa's Negev
Dinner to benefit autism research in Israel, reports the Canadian Jewish News.
Huckabee was originally chosen to appear at the JNF event because "he is a staunch supporter of the State of Israel" who has
"never wavered from his position," according to Cooper.
Michael Gennis, a Jewish LGBT activist who co-wrote the petition, as well as writing protest letters to both JNF's regional
Ottawa and national offi ces, told Canadian Jewish News that he thought JNF's initial invitation to Huckabee was "a typical
knee-jerk reaction from a Jewish organization bringing a speaker that supports Israel ... without doing a lot of research about
what people like [Huckabee] stand for."
The petition also condemned Huckabee for "publicly supporting" Josh Duggar, the 19 Kids and Counting reality star who
has admitted to sexually abusing several girls, including a number of his sisters. Huckabee has also previously drawn ire from
LGBT activists for opposing marriage equality.
Suicide risk for trans people can be reduced, new study shows
Ella was 14 when she attempted suicide for the first time.
She had always known she was different. Ever since she was a child, growing up in South Asia, she felt uncomfort able in her
own skin. She would get beat up at school, and family members would make “ weird comments” about her behaviour. After
her family immigrated to Toronto when she was 11, it was even harder. “ I had an accent, I dressed differently, I was shy … I
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was an easy target,” she says.
She was 13 when things started to make sense. Physically, Ella had been born a boy, but she knew that on the inside, she was
a girl.
“ I woke up and realized one day, you know what, I have to stop lying to myself,” she says. “Life is too short and I really want
to be who I am. I’ve always been a girl, I am a girl, and I want to be that person physically to match who I am inside.”
She told her parents everything, and “they didn’t understand at all.”
The suicide attempt was a cry for help, she says. She would try, and fail, again.
A new study by Western University researchers suggests those attempts may have been preventable.
The study, published June 2 in the journal BMC Public Health, found a connection between the risk of suicide amongst transgender people and factors such as parent al support, transphobia and ease of access to a medical transition, if the person desires one.
This is the first evidence that transgender people could be at a higher risk of suicide becaus e of modifiable factors in their
lives, rather than because of innate discom fort at being transgender, the study’s authors say.
Bauer’s team looked at 13 modifiable factors in the lives of trans people. They found that strong parental support for expressed gender “ corresponds to a potential prevention of 170 trans persons per 1000” from seriously considering suicide, and
those who reported experi encing lower levels of transphobia were 66 per cent less likely to have seriously considered suicide
in the past year.
Among those who wanted a medical transition, people who had begun hormone therapy were “ about half as likely to have
seriously considered suicide.” About one-quarter of trans people in Ontario don’t want a medical transition, the researchers
say.
The study also found a significant decreas e in suicide risk among those who had identity documents – such as a driver’s licence, health card or passport – matching their expressed gender. Having proper ID was found to have the potential to prevent
90 in 1000 trans people from seriously considering suicide.
“ If somebody lives as a male, and has only ‘F’ on their identity documents, then they’re not able to go out to the bar with
friends, or travel, or feel safe driving in the case that they get pulled over,” Bauer says.
Miley Cyrus launches #InstaPride campaign for trans young people
Singer Miley Cyrus has launched a new campaign to highlight issues faced by transgender young people.
Cyrus and her Happy Hippie Foundation, have teamed up with Instagram to launch the #InstaPride campaign.It will feature
stories of young transgender people, and issues they have faced. In a post on Instagram, she writes, “I’m launching InstaPride today, in partnership with Instagram, to share stories of transgender and gender expansive people from around the
country.
“ Over the next 2 weeks, you’ll meet them and the people in their lives who support them, as we highlight their stories of resilience.”
The star revealed she had dated men and women last month, when she said: “There are times in my life where I’ve had boyfriends or girlfriends. “ I’m not hiding my sexuality. For me, I don’t want to label myself as anything.
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“We love putting people in categories, but what I like sexually isn’t going to label me as a person.”
Cyrus launched the Happie Hippie Foundation last year.
Houston, we have a problem: New sheriff of Harris County, Tex., wastes little time reversing predecessor’s pro-LGBT
policies
There’s a new sheriff in Texas — and he has LGBT activists rattled.
In his first month as top lawman in Harris County, Tex., Ron Hickman has made a swift series of changes that reversed his
offi ce’s earlier efforts to champion diversity and promote LGBT relations.
Hickman, a former precinct constable, quickly tossed out Garcia’s team of discretionary staffers that included two Hispanics,
four African-Americans, an Asian-American and three women, the Houston Chronicle reported, and he replaced them with
white males. He also demoted the captain who spearheaded the offi ce’s proactive LGBT liaison program and disbanded the
zero-cost liaison office, a signature element of the landmark policy changes adopt ed by the Sheriff’s Offi ce in 2013.
“ It really helps to have a point person,” said Ann Robison, executive director of the Montrose Center, an agency that works
with LGBT clients in Houston. “I don’t think we have that anymore.”
Gay rights advocates in Houston told the Daily News that the moves could prove worrisome in a region that remains
conflicted over marriage equality and other issues of importance to LGBT residents, though they said it’s still early to know
just where Hickman stands or whether a coordinated respons e will be necessary.
“We just don’t know yet,” said Robison. “I don’t think he’s very supportive of the gay community, and I don’t think he
knows much about the gay community.”
Navy looking at requiring high-level OK to separate transgender troops
The Navy may soon join the Air Force and the Army in requiring high-level approval to separate transgender servicemembers
from the military, military offici als said Tuesday.
“ As previously stated, the Navy is looking to elevate the administrative separation authority for transgendered personnel to
ensure that this important issue receives the right level of review,” Navy spokesman Lt. Cmdr. Ed Early said in a statement Tuesday. “ Any proposed changes would not affect the level of discharge authority for other instances of administrative
separation.”
There is no timeline for a decision, Early added.
If the Navy takes such a step, it would leave the Marine Corps as the only service to not change its policy.
“The Marine Corps is not currently reviewing changes to the decision-making authorities for the involuntary separation of
any of our Marines,” according to a statement in response to a Stars and Stripes query.
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