WINNING THE LOTTERING

WESTERN CAPE | GUIDE
WHAT’S ON
WESTERN CAPE
WINNING THE LOTTERING
2 December – 17 January
Live comedy
After a sensational season, Marc Lottering’s hit show, This is
Captain Lottering Speaking, returns to the Baxter Theatre.
The award-winning comedian is ready to make you laugh
out loud with his new one-man show, featuring the hilarious
characters that have made him a household name in South
Africa. Tickets are R85-R180, from www.computicket.com.
For more information, go to www.baxter.co.za.
Please note: ‘A day without laughter is a day wasted.’ – Charlie Chaplin
ARE YOU COMMITTED?
2 December – 17 January
Live comedy
Comic genius Alan Committie is ready to make you scream
with laughter in his new show, The Sound of Laughter, on
at Theatre on the Bay. Alan has had a hugely successful
year at the Edinburgh Festival and the New Wimbledon
Theatre, leaving him with more funny stories to tell. Tickets
are R95-R165, available at www.computicket.com.
For more information, visit www.theatreonthebay.co.za.
Please note: ‘The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a
room is indeed blessed.’ – Bennett Cerf
SUMMER LOVING
Throughout December
Live music
The Summer Concerts at Kirstenbosch
Botanical Gardens are back with a bang.
On 4-5 December is popular US folkrock group the Lumineers, 7 December
sees Just Jinjer on the line-up, Oliver
Mtukudzi hits the stage on 14 December, on 28 December Hot Water
will perform, and Prime Circle rocks out on 4 January. Tickets are
R100-R465. Don’t miss Carols by Candlelight on 18-21 December,
with tickets from R15-R90. And for the most scenic New Year’s Eve
imaginable, catch Arno Carstens and Mango Groove on 31 December
– tickets are R310. Tickets available from www.webtickets.co.za. For
more info, visit www.sanbi.org/gardens/kirstenbosch.
Please note: Why are pine trees so gullible? Because they’re evergreen.
kulula.com
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STARRY
CINEMA
Throughout December – 23 April 2015
Open-air cinema
Experience an unforgettable evening under the stars with
The Galileo Open Air Cinema. From romantic comedies, cult
classics, adventure sports, documentaries and action flicks, you’ll
be spoilt for choice this season. Taking place throughout summer
in some of Cape Town’s most spectacular locations, including
the V&A Waterfront, Kirstenbosch, Hillcrest Quarry and the Cape
Winelands, The Galileo is the perfect setting for an evening with
friends, a romantic date, or a fun work social. Tickets are R70-R95,
from webtickets.co.za. For more info, visit www.thegalileo.co.za.
Please note: Hollywood movies would be improved if they shot
less film and more producers.
HOT STUFF
6 December
Live music
The festive season gets off
to a supercharged start with
some of Cape Town’s household
names performing at the
Hot Summer Groove, on at
GrandWest Casino and Entertainment World. Among the stars
bringing the fabulous music to life are none other than Emo Adams,
Take Note Band, Blackbyrd, and Loukmaan Adams. Alistair Izobell
also adds his golden voice to this already spectacular line-up.
Tickets are R130, available at www.computicket.com. For more
information, visit www.grandwest.co.za.
Please note: What do you call a cow that plays a musical
instrument? A moo-sician.
FOO’D FOR
THOUGHT
10 December (Cape Town)
13 December (Jo’burg)
Live music
A little-known band called the
Foo Fighters will be playing two shows
for the first time in South Africa this
month. With almost two decades and a number of awards under
their belts, they’re sure to deliver an unforgettable rock ’n roll
experience. Tickets are R350-R1 865, available
at www.computicket.com.
R’S
ITOICE
Please note: Foo fights are somewhat less messy
D
E O
than food fights. Unless you’re in the mosh pit, that is.
CH
DECEMBER 2014
19
2014/11/19 9:17 AM
WESTERN CAPE | GUIDE
BUILDING
BLOCKS
12 December – 28 February
Exhibition
LEGO fanatics can enter the colourful
world of plastic bricks at The Art of the
Brick SA, on at the Watershed at the V&A
Waterfront. Expect sculptures made of up
to a million LEGO bricks in an exhibition
described as one of the world’s top 10
by CNN. Tickets are R95 for children
and R140 for adults, available at www.computicket.com. For more
information, go to www.theartofthebricksa.com.
Please note: You cannot download The LEGO Movie illegally – you will
get blocked.
text: roxanne jones; pictures: supplied
Q&A with The Art of the Brick creator,
Nathan Sawaya
How long does a human-sized piece take to build?
NS: A life-sized human form takes me up to two to three weeks to
build. You need a bit of patience for this job.
You own more than 2.5 million LEGO blocks. Approximately how
many have gone into this exhibition?
NS: Actually, I have over four million bricks these days. I don’t know
exactly, but I would have to guess that close to a million bricks went
into this exhibition.
You’ve taken one of the most creative toys in the world and turned
it into an art medium. What was LEGO’s response when this came
to their attention?
NS: I have a good relationship with LEGO. I still buy all of my bricks,
but I am a very unique customer because I buy hundreds of thousands
of bricks each month.
PING!
15-16 December (Cape Town)
12 December (Jo’burg)
Music festival
The International Festival of Advanced Music
is coming to the Mother City for Sónar Cape
Town, featuring the Pet Shop Boys, Bloody
Beetroots, Jon Hopkins and more, at the
Good Hope Centre. Jo’burgers can get a
taste at A Taste of Sónar, on at the Nazrec Expo Centre. Tickets are
R495-R1 350, available at www.webtickets.co.za. For more information,
go to sonarcapetown.com.
Please note: Submarine racing never really took off as a spectator sport.
kulula.com
Events_cape town_35.indd 21
WHAT THE?
16-30 December
Live comedy
Nik Rabinowitz’s new show What the EFF?, at the Fugard Theatre,
is ready to tickle your funny bones. The comical genius takes his
audience through an array of local experiences, from taxi drivers to
the free-spirited hippy community. Expect to laugh until your muscles
hurt. Tickets are R150-R250, available at www.computicket.com.
For more information on the show, visit www.thefugard.com.
Please note: ‘The human race has one really effective weapon,
and that is laughter.’ – Mark Twain
DOOF DOOF
29 December
(Cape Town)
31 December (Durban)
Live music
The Ibiza World Tour is coming
to South Africa for two nights only, with 10 DJs, 12 hours of
music and a whole lot of sweating, at the Sandringham Farm in
Stellenbosch and the WaveHouse at the Gateway Theatre
of Shopping. Tickets are R480 to R1 800, available from
www.computicket.com. For more info go to www.ibiza-world.com.
Please note: Why was the DJ committed? Because he was stark
raving mad!
GIVEAWAY
We’ve got five double sets of tickets to the Ibiza World Tour to give
away! To enter, go to www.khulumaonline.co.za and hit the competitions
tab. Competition is open to all South African residents over the age of 18,
excluding employees of Picasso Headline/Times Media Ltd/kulula.com/
Comair Limited, and closes on 18 December.
IN BLACK
AND WHITE
Throughout
December
R’S
ITOICE
D
E O
CH
Animal welfare
Not sure what to do with the little ones
this holiday? For the month of December, SANCCOB’s seabird
centre in Table View is running three tours daily (Mondays to
Saturdays) at 10am, 12pm and 3pm. If you’re lucky, you’ll get to
have a personal penguin encounter with their ambassador penguin!
Tickets are R50-R100, book via 021 557 6155 or email
education3@sanccob.co.za.
Please note: How do penguins drink? Out of beak-ers!
DECEMBER 2014
21
2014/11/19 9:17 AM
GAUTENG | GUIDE
WHAT’S ON
GAUTENG
WOOSTER
SAUCE
Until 28 December
Comedy theatre
After a successful run at Cape Town’s
Theatre on the Bay, Jeeves & Wooster
in Perfect Nonsense has made its way
to Jo’burg’s Montecasino. Based on PG
Wodehouse’s beloved characters and
starring Jonathan Roxmouth, Graham Hopkins and Robert Fridjhon, this
quintessentially British farce is sure to have you in stitches. Tickets are
R120 to R165, available at www.computicket.com.
Please note: What’s the biggest threat to any theatre? An actor with a
power tool.
BACK IN TIME
2 December-1 March
Exhibition
Experience a magical adventure into ancient
Egypt at the Tutankhamen – His Tomb
and His Treasures exhibition at Silverstar.
Witnessed by millions worldwide, the
exhibition reconstructs the tomb of the young
Egyptian ruler, showcasing the overwhelming
opulence of treasures found when the pharaoh was discovered.
Tickets are R160 for adults, R120 for seniors and R100 per child,
available at www.webtickets.co.za. For more information,
visit www.tut-exhibition.co.za.
Please note: When a pharaoh is sad, he talks to his mummy.
KITCHEN ELVES
6-24 December
Kids’ cooking class
Cooking classes at Ms Claus’ Kitchen,
on at Bedford Square, are guaranteed
to turn your little one into a kitchen elf
this festive season. Children can look
forward to a fun-filled session of baking
Santa Claus cupcakes, reindeers and
gingerbread men, which are all from the iconic North Pole recipe book.
Tickets are R30. For more information, contact 083 294 9889.
Please note: Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher said
it was a piece of cake.
kulula.com
Events_joberg 35.indd 35
MY LIEFIE
12 December –
4 January
R’S
ITOICE
D
E O
CH
Musical
The popular musical Liefling is
back, and now on at Montecasino.
Capturing the feel-good spirit of
the festive season, this traditional
boy-meets-girl tale has a local twist that will have you reminiscing and
singing along to some iconic Afrikaans hits, such as ‘Lang Maer Blonde
Man’ and ‘Kinders van die Wind’. Tickets are R100 to R320, available at
www.computicket.com. For more information, contact 011 510 7472,
or visit www.montecasino.co.za.
Please note: Love is blind, but marriage is a true eye-opener.
BOOM BOOM BOOM
12-13 December (Jo’burg)
14 December (Cape Town)
15 December (Port Elizabeth)
Live music
European super group the Vengaboys are
ready to rock the party at Carnival City’s Big
Top Arena in Jo’burg, GrandWest’s Grand
Arena in Cape Town, and the ICC Boardwalk
in PE. The multi-platinum, pop dance group
is best known for their legendary songs ‘Up
and Down’, ‘We like to Party’, and ‘Boom Boom Boom’. Tickets are
R350 to R490, available at www.computicket.com.
Please note: What kind of music are balloons scared of? Pop music.
ALL IN ONE
13 December
Craft market
Get ready for some retail therapy mixed with a
dash of excitement at the Finding the Sun Food,
Craft Beer and Music Market, on at the Ball
and Driving Range. Expect live bands, standup comedy, cocktail jars, delicious food and a
whole lot more – all under one roof. The fair also
celebrates handcrafted beers, and the passionate micro-level breweries
that create them. Tickets are R40 for adults and R30 for children
aged 12-18, available at www.computicket.com. For more information,
contact 072 398 4951, or email sarahanntheron@gmail.com.
Please note: ‘In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water
there is bacteria.’ – Benjamin Franklin
DECEMBER 2014
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2014/11/19 9:23 AM
GAUTENG | GUIDE
SOUL FOOD
R’S
ITOICE
D
E O
CH
SLIPPERY
SLOPE
13 December
Live music
Three-time Grammy award-winning
singer/actress Jill Scott is ready to bless
the Coca-Cola Dome with her amazing
talent. With more than four million records
sold in the US, and numerous music and
film awards, expect nothing but the best
from this superwoman. Look forward to
the full Scott experience as you listen to
Jill’s chart-topping R&B, jazz and hip-hop
hits. Tickets are R390-R1 020, available at www.computicket.com.
Please note: Why was the musician arrested? Because she got
in treble.
FARMYARD
PSYCHED
UP
13-14 December
text: roxanne jones; pictures: supplied
VISIT YOUR
COUSIN
Comedy show
Barry Hilton really knows how to turn an
everyday situation into a comic strip in his
hilarious show The Way I See It, on at the
Lyric Theatre. Catch a peek inside Barry’s
quirky head as he takes the audience on a
giggling spree with the trademark humour. He
will certainly have you rolling in the aisles with
laughter. Tickets are R80-R265, available at
www.computicket.com. For more information,
contact 011 248 5168, or email goldreefboxoffice@tsogosun.com.
Please note: What music does one’s eyes listen too? iTunes.
Farmers’ market
Get the ultimate farm experience at
The Bunny Park Craft Market,
on at The Bunny Park. Visit over
1 000 fabulous stalls displaying a
variety of products, including home
goods and tasty local cuisines. Don’t
forget to bring along carrots to feed
the animals. For more information,
contact info@craftsinthepark.co.za,
or call 072 713 3332.
Please note: Where do cows go for
lunch? The calf-eteria.
Music festival
Trance lovers can look
forward to a truly refreshing
experience at the Wizards
of Trance, on at Bobbejaan’s
Kloof Karavaan Park. Be
guided on a path of musical
enlightenment as the sweet jams take you on a stomping spree.
Expect a memorable journey entwined with colourful surroundings and
amazing company. Tickets are R150, available at www.quicket.co.za.
For more information, email sonicdruid@gmail.com.
Please note: What type of songs do planets sing? Nep-tunes.
Events_joberg 35.indd 37
Electronic music
Experience a groundbreaking (and
ear-breaking) start to the festive
season at Slippery n Wet, featuring international prog-psytrance
DJ/producer Liquid Soul, on at ESP. Additional acts include the
legendary DJ Heidi, NRC and Psyrus. Tickets are R150, available at
www.quicket.co.za and R200 at the door. For info, visit www.esp.co.za.
Please note: What does a speaker say when it’s waiting outside your
door? Doof-doof-doof.
19-20 December
13 December
kulula.com
15 December
HAPPY
NEW YEAR,
OLD SPORT
31 December
NYE party
The restaurant that has
been voted the best dinner
and dance venue for 10
years, Rodizio Fourways, brings to you the ultimate Great Gatsby
New Year’s Eve Party. Dine on a delicious five-course meal paired
with the finest sparkling wines, with world-class DJs on the decks.
Tickets are R580. For more information, email rodizio@netactive.
co.za, or call 011 455 1093.
Please note: ‘I like large parties. They’re so intimate. At small
parties there isn’t any intimacy.’ – The Great Gatsby
DECEMBER 2014
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2014/11/19 3:00 PM
KWAzulu-nATAl | GUIDE
WHAT’S ON
KzN
ARABIAN NIGHTS
4 December – 11 January
Musical
Join in on the magical adventures of a young
vagabond-turned-prince and his enchanted lamp
in Aladdin, on at the Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre.
With popular songs and equally popular jokes,
intricate costumes and an elaborate magical
set, Aladdin is a must-see for both young and
old. Tickets are R130-R210, available at www.
computicket.com. For more information, contact 031 260 2296, or visit
www.sneddontheatre.co.za.
Please note: What kind of cars do Disney characters drive? Minis!
JINGLE BELL ROCK
5 December
Christmas carols
Sing along to some of your all-time favourite
carols at the Carols by Candlelight concert, on at
the Durban Botanical Gardens. Bring along a picnic
basket and enjoy the breathtaking scenery, while
being entertained by leading acts, including the
Soweto Gospel Concert. Tickets are R120-R140 for adults and R50 for
kids, available at www.durbanbotanicgardens.org.za.
Please note: What do you call people who are terrified of Santa
Claus? Claustrophobic!
DOLPHIN
TREASURE
text: roxanne jones; pictures: supplied
5-14 December
Musical
This festive season, uShaka Marine
World brings us the Dolphins by
Starlight show. Enjoy some of
your favourite Christmas songs
as sung by the Kzn Youth Choir and Ocean Warrior Mascots. Father
Christmas will be making a special guest appearance too. In the spirit of
Christmas, uShaka will also set up a collection box for new toys to be
donated to the East Coast Radio Toy Story Campaign. Tickets are R150,
available at www.computicket.com. For more information,
contact 031 328 8000.
Please note: When a group of dolphins need to make a decision
they flipper coin.
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City_Guide_kzn35.indd 51
WE’RE JAMMIN’
R’S
ITOICE
D
E O
CH
6-7 December
Music festival
Get your jam on at the Jam Music Festival taking place at
the Moses Mabhida Stadium. The two-day festival boasts five
themed arenas, thousands of fans, an impeccably designed stage
and an array of international artists. Tickets cost R300 to R1 615,
available at www.computicket.com. For more info, contact 031
202 8401, or visit www.worldjamdurban.com, or email bev@
worldjamdurban.com.
Please note: What do astronauts have on their bread?
Space jam.
MAMMA
MIA
11 December –
18 January
Musical
Relive the best of the ’70s
and ’80s at The Abba
Show, on at Sibaya Casino
and Entertainment Kingdom. With more than 3 000 sold-out
international shows, expect the best renditions of ‘Dancing
Queen’, ‘Mamma Mia’ and ‘The Winner Takes It All’. Grab your
platforms and get ready to boogey. Tickets are R250, available at
www.computicket.com.
Please note: What is the most musical part of a fish? The scales.
GLOW IN
THE DARK
13 December
Electronic Party
The Party in the Park,
taking place at Chris
Saunders Park, is the
perfect chance to dress up
in full lumo gear. Glow in the dark while jamming to hits by top
DJs, including Chocolate Milk, Chris Taylor and Funky B. Tickets
are R100 pre-sold, available www.computicket.com, and R120
at the door. For more info, contact info@ridgemanagement.co.za,
or go to www.chrissaunderspark.com.
Please note: Be prepared to be in a trance.
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2014/11/19 9:44 AM
Kwazulu-natal | GUIDE
SCALING
DOWN
13-14 December
R’S
ITOICE
D
E O
CH
Nature expo
Mix education and fun at the SOS2
Reptile Expo, on at Crawford
College. From pythons to geckos
and tarantulas, the Reptile Expo
has it all, featuring some of the top
breeders in the country. Tickets
are R20 for children and R40 for
adults, contact 082 692 2179
or email clinton.thompson@gmail.com for more info.
Please note: What do you call a lizard that sings for Bad Boy Records?
A rap-tile.
GOING LOCAL
16 December
Concert
Spend Reconciliation Day with one of the
biggest Afrikaans artists, Theuns Jordaan,
as he celebrates local musicians at the
Barnyard Theatre Gateway. Theuns is
without a doubt on top of his game, selling
more than a million albums and receiving
platinum status for his hugely popular Hart
Vol Drome. Expect popular hits like
‘Vreemde Stad’ and ‘Tjailatyd’. Tickets are R170, available through
gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za, or contact 031 566 3045
Please note: What makes music on your hair? A head band.
A TROPICAL ESCAPE
21-24 December
(Margate Main Beach)
26-29 December
(Ballito Main Beach)
Festival
KZN’s longest-running beach festival, Tropika
Summer Fever, gears up to entertain the crowds on the east coast.
Expect 25 000 people, volley-ball games, treasure chest hunts, beach
body competitions and the works. Relax in the Tropika chill lounge with
cool Tropika drinks as you enjoy the vibes. Entrance is free. For more
information, contact 011 471 1400, or email candice.mann@clover.co.za.
Please note: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s
day? I’m bacon!
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CHRISTMAS
CUISINE
25 December
Christmas lunch
Durban’s premium hotel,
The Oyster Box, is offering a tantalising Christmas Lunch at
The Ocean Terrace Restaurant. Look forward to complimentary
cocktails on arrival, followed by starters, a carvery with roast,
and a well-stuffed buffet. Live music will entertain as you enjoy
your lovely Christmas lunch while overlooking the ocean.
Tickets are R1 400 for adults and R900 per child, available at
www.oysterboxhotel.com.
Please note: What carol is heard in the desert? Camel ye Faithful.
THAT’S A WRAP
31 December
New Year’s Eve
Last year, more than 15 000 people
attended the New Year’s Eve Party
at Moses Mabhida Stadium. Be a part
of this fantastic experience, and join in
on the ultimate countdown with A-list
celebrities, including AKA, Professor and
Black Coffee. Tickets are R250-R650,
available at www.computicket.com.
For more information, go to
www.factdurbanrocks.com.
Please note: :My New Year’s resolution
is to give up resolutions.
THE START OF
SOMETHING
NEW
1 January
Concert
Start off your New Year with a
blast at the annual Umgababa
New Year’s Picnic at Umgababa
Beach. Known for its high
attendance, this event brings you
50 performers, with party people
dancing into the early hours of the
morning. Tickets are R100-R500,
and free for general entry. For more information and ticket sales,
contact 082 833 1810, or visit www.tzzprod.co.za.
Please note: A day without sun is like ... night.
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GARDEN RoUTE | GUIDE
’S
TORCE
I
D
GOInG BLuE
E OI
H
8-9 December (Plettenberg Bay) C
Environmental awareness
Create awareness on environmental issues by being a part
of the monumental Plett Hope Spot, on at Central Beach.
This once-in-a-lifetime event encourages sustainable
use and conservation of marine resources. Activities
include the unveiling of two plaques (one on land and one
underwater), as well as demos from sea gurus like the
Nippers. What an awesome way to kick start the beach
season. For more information, contact pletthopespot@
gmail.com, gwenpenry@gmail.com, or visit
www.plett-tourism.co.za.
Please note: ‘Unless someone like you cares a whole
awful lot, nothing is going to get better.’ – Dr Seuss
TAnTALISInG TASTES
12-13 December (George)
Wine festival
Hop on over to The Fancourt Festival of Fizz for
ingenious bubbly pairing and tantalising food creations.
Expect 16 bubbly producers showing off their trade. And
the breathtaking scenery is definitely an added bonus
to this world-class event. Tickets are R150, available at
www.webtickets.co.za. For more information, contact
044 804 0432, or marketing@fancourt.co.za.
Please note: What do you get if you shake a bottle of bubbly?
Fizz-pop!
BIKE hIKE
text: roxanne jones; images: supplied
31 December (Great Brak)
Cycle race
Dust off your bicycles and start
training for one of the biggest cycling
races in the Southern Cape, the
Great Brak Grabadoo. The route
includes a scenic drive through the
breathtaking Cape
Pine Forest, and an up-close view
of the beautiful Garden Route. This
is the perfect practice run for the
popular Cape Argus Cycle Tour.
Route options include 15km, 31km, 42km and the premium 66km.
For more information, contact 084 583 3144.
Please note: What does a bicycle call his dad? Pop-cycle.
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City_Guide_garden_35.indd 65
WhAT’S On
GArDEn
rOuTE
ThE cOunTDOWn BEGInS
31 December (Eastern Cape)
New Year’s Eve party
Stomp your way into the New Year at one of SA’s biggest parties,
the 5FM New Year’s Eve Party, at The Ruins in St Francis. The
line-up includes legendary acts such as The Kiffness, Zebra &
Giraffe, Niskerone, Haezer, and 5FM’s very own Rob Forbes.
Tickets are R295 to R595, and afterparty tickets cost R65.
For more information, contact chrisd@fml.co.za, or visit
www.theruins.co.za.
Please note: A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in
one year and out the other.
BABALAS
Brunch
1 January
(Eastern Cape)
Brunch
Nurse your hangover with a
delicious buffet at the New
Year’s Day Champagne
Brunch, on at the Tea in Trees.
Enjoy freshly baked bread,
delicious fruits, cupcakes, and a
lovely glass of the finest champagne as you reflect on your New
Year’s resolutions. This is also a great excuse to relax after an
eventful festive season. For more information, contact
072 611 2367, or visit www.teainthetrees.com.
Please note: ‘Champagne is appropriate for breakfast, lunch or
dinner.’ – Madeline Puckette.
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