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The Western Slope’s Guide to Entertainment, Arts & News for February
2013
Let’s just say it was
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neighborhood slopes at POWDERHORN
Cover By Scream Graphics
Page 13
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JUNCTION
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The SOURCE
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The SOURCE / February 2013
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By Trace Hillman
Cooking with Trace My Almond Meal
What the heck is that? It’s
ground almonds. Simple as that…
almond flour is ground blanched
almonds, and almond meal is
just ground almonds. Not just
chopped nuts, but ground into a
consistency somewhere between
cornmeal and wheat flour.
Why almond meal? As I‘ve mentioned, I’m trying to remove grain
from my diet as much as possible,
and almond meal allows me to
hold on to a few favorite foods.
For example: Breaded pork
chops—I bread my marinated
boneless pork loin chops in
almond meal and then either fry
or bake them; Pie crust—instead
of using a traditional pie crust or
a graham cracker crust, I mixed
2 cups almond meal with 3
tablespoons melted butter and 2
tablespoons sugar. I pressed the
mixture into a sturdy pie pan and
prebaked for about 10 minutes. I
added a pumpkin pie batter to the
crust and baked into a delicious
grain-free pumpkin pie; Banana
bread—this was delicious. I made
a quick bread with almond meal
in place of flour, and results were
amazing. The family loved it, and
it was devoured fairly quickly.
Cautions? Well, almond meal is
very calorie dense; it carries a load
of fat, protein, and fiber greater
than regular wheat flour…but it is
very low in carbohydrates.
One-quarter cup almond meal
harbors 160 calories, 14 grams of
fat (1 gram saturated), 6 grams of
carbohydrates (only 3 are sugar),
3 grams of fiber, 5 grams of protein.
One-quarter cup all-purpose
white flour carries 114 calories,
.25 grams fat, 24 grams of carbohydrates (0 are sugar), .6 grams of
fiber, 3 grams of protein.
Although almond flour has a
higher total fat content, the fat is
made up of fatty acids that were
shown to reduce cholesterol levels in a 2002 study conducted by
Canadian researchers. (source:
http://www.livestrong.com/
article/90491-nutrition-information-almond-flour/)
So which one is better? That’s
up to you; for me, having a lighter
carbohydrate load is excellent for
my diabetes.
Here is a quick and easy banana
bread that I made this weekend.
My only warning is to watch the
GRAND
JUNCTION
CHRYSLER • JEEP • DODGE • RAM
bread closely; mine was very done
on the edges (almost burnt) after
about 50 minutes.
Almond Flour Banana
Bread from The Wannabe Chef
(http://www.thewannabechef.
net/2012/06/04/almond-flourbanana-bread/)
Almond Flour Banana Bread
Prep time: 15 minutes
Cook time: 55 minutes
the almond flour, eggs, oil, sugar,
mashed bananas, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, baking powder, and
salt until there are no clumps.
Fold the walnuts, chocolate
chips, or any other mix-ins you
might want into the batter.
Lightly grease a 5 x 10 or similar-sized loaf pan and pour in the
batter.
Bake for 55 minutes or until a
cake tester inserted in the center
comes out clean. (watch carefully)
Remove from the oven and let
cool completely before slicing.
The bread was delicious and
I cannot wait to try again. Try
your hand at something different
in 2013… and let me know what
you think of this recipe on facebook.com/cookingwithtrace or on
my Web site at cookingwithtrace.
com
The SOURCE
Cuisine
cookingwithtrace@gmail.com
Ingredients (Makes 1 loaf):
1 1/2 cups almond meal or
almond flour
4 eggs
1/4 cup oil (I used butter)
3/4 cup light or dark brown
sugar
3 medium bananas, mashed
(about 3/4 cup banana puree)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg (was out
of nutmeg, substituted cinnamon)
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup walnuts (optional) ( I
added some delicious local walnuts)
1/2 cup chocolate chips (optional—maybe next time)
Method:
Preheat your oven to 350
degrees.
In a large bowl, mix together
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NEW LEASE PROGRAMS NOW AVAILABLE
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2578 HWY 6 & 50 Grand Junction (on the corner of motor & funny little street)
www.grandjunctionchrysler.com • Sales: Mon-Fri 8:30-6:00, Sat 8:30-5:00 • Parts and Service: Mon - Fri 7:30-5:30, Sat 9:00-1:00 / Closed on Sundays
The SOURCE / February 2013
2013 Chrysler 200
The SOURCE
t
h
g
ri
&
ft
le
s
n
io
in
p
o
t
n
ri
We p
Feedback
Well, it looks as if we are out of
the deep freeze we’ve all had to
endure this winter. I imagine if we
had winters as cold as this winter
every year, there would be a fair
share of residents who would be
inclined to move somewhere else.
It’s like we all got a sample of what
it must feel like to live in Alaska. I,
for one, don’t think I could handle
living in the sub-zero conditions
year for long after year.
The Source welcomes a new
member to our crew—Casey
Smith. Casey hails from Houston
TX via Atchinson KS. He recently
got his degree in Journalism from
Benedictine College. Casey took
an irregular path to land in Grand
Junction. He served four years in
the Navy after high school, then
received a soccer scholarship from
Benedictine. He’s been doing a
great job, especially considering
the weather conditions. It’s a given
that business around here slows
down severely in January. He’s
managed not to let that get him
down. He’s been out there meeting business owners, presenting
the benefits of advertising in The
Source. You’ll see some stories
penned by him in this issue.
Look for Casey to expand our
coverage of sports. He’s working
on a new section that will keep our
readers more informed about the
various sports programs going on
at Colorado Mesa University.
Personally, I think it’s going to
be a few more years before I get
used to calling it Colorado Mesa
University. It has been amazing to
see the changes made to CMU over
that last few years. If you haven’t
wandered around the campus
lately, I suggest you put on your
walking shoes and take a stroll.
The semi-new athletic center is a
great addition to Grand Junction.
Add to that the new dorms, soccer field and student center, and
the entire campus looks huge and
completely different.
I recently checked out the student center, and it’s very impressive. When you check it out, bring
your appetite and sit down for
lunch or dinner. Their food selection is much better than my dorm
experience at University of New
Mexico. At any rate, CMU is making some great changes that benefit
all of Grand Junction and especially our economic growth here.
We bumped [increased] this
issue by four pages. So you’ll have
a lot of useful reading to entertain
you during the month of February.
We’ve got our regular columnists
doing what they do best—being
funny, insightful, witty and provocative. We also have added some
real estate, health and sports to the
mix. I haven’t had the opportunity to
check out the new Sprouts store or
Del Taco, but I’m hearing that their
openings have been well received
by the public. It’s always good to
see new business opening up in
Grand Junction. I’ve also heard that there is a new
residential development happening in the Redlands—Red Rocks
Valley, over 90 new homes being
built with affordable price points.
It’s always a good sign when you
see new homes being built—especially when interest rates on loans
for new homes are so low.
Soon enough, spring will be
here and everyone will have spring
fever. Hang tough, people, spring
is not that far away. Jeffrey Inks - Publisher
Community Corner...
County Corner ...
Citizen Attitude Survey 2011
Q3: How
Important
DoatYou
Think It Will Be For
These
graphs
can be found
http://www.mesacounty.us/
There is
a 93 page
PDF document
with a wealth
of information.
Mesa
County
to Emphasize
the Following
Items Over the Next Two Years:
Q3: How Important Do You Think It Will Be For
Mesa County
to Emphasize
the64%Following 24%
Promote and protect
public safety
Items Over the Next Two Years:
by percentage of respondents who rated the item as a 1 to 5 on a 5-point scale (excluding don't knows)
by percentage of respondents who rated the item as a 1 to 5 on a 5-point scale (excluding don't knows)
64%
55%
Promote and protect public safety
Protect and manage all public resources
Beginning in 2013, the Grand
Valley Health Fair will be an entirely
local event planned by a volunteer
committee composed of various
community organizations, and
blood-screening analysis will be provided through St. Mary’s Hospital.
The new Grand Valley Health Fair
dates will be scheduled in Fall 2013
and will be announced in the near
future. Information about the health
fair will be posted online at mesahealth.org and available through
2-1-1, as dates are firmed up. The
local health fair was associated with
9Health Organization for over 30
years, reaching 3,000 to 4,000 people
every year. In order to reach more
of the Valley’s population, the committee is expanding local partnerships to improve community outreach and include the uninsured
4
Be a Presenter for Colorado
National Monument’s
Spring Programs!
The Colorado National
Monument Association is scheduling programs for the Colorado
National Monument Spring 2013
Walks & Talks programs. The
CNMA is seeking subject experts
willing to volunteer their time in
April and May. Programs can be
hikes, lectures or workshops on a
wide variety of topics that have a
connection to Colorado National
Monument. Hikes will be conducted at Colorado National
Monument; lectures can be held at
the Monument Visitor center or at
other locations within the Grand
Valley. Past programs have cov-
The
8%4%
14% 6%
24%
30%
35%
14% 6%
9% 4%
55%
55%
25%
28%
14% 6%
10% 7%
Plan the infrastructure to maintain quality of life during growth
Create a community where individuals & families are self-sufficient
52%
56%
35%
26%
9% 4%
12% 6%
Promote a variety of industries to promote a healthy economy0%
Most Important (5)
20%
Somewhat Important (4)
Create
where
individuals
Source:a community
ETC Institute
(February
2011)& families are self-sufficient
60%
Neutral (3)
80%
28%
12%
26%
20%
40%
Somewhat Important (4)
10%
60%
Neutral (3)
The SOURCE / February 2013
Managing Editor: Gayle Meyer
Featured Contributors:
Gayle Meyer, Jeffery Taylor, Barry Smith, Jennifer Katzfey, Lyle Stout,
Jack Bollan, Trace Hillman, Jeffrey B. Inks, Sharlene Woodruff, Jade Inks, Yvonne Day,
Molly van Lawick, Mark Jackson, Melaine Montano, Casey Smith, Andrea Haitz
www.yvsource.com
The opinions expressed herein are those of the writers and may not
represent the opinions of this publication, its owners, or its advertisers.
Writing submission guidelines available upon request.
Recycle, reflect, rejoice in the richness.
6%
80%
100%
Less Important (2/1)
Source: ETC Institute (February 2011)
Q4: Level of Satisfaction with County Resources
by percentage of respondents who rated the item as a 1 to 5 on a 5-point scale (excluding don't knows)
County's local election services
29%
43%
20%
8%
Q4: Level
of Satisfaction with
County
Resources
13%
Ease of locating County services
21%
40%
26%
by percentage of respondents who rated the item as a 1 to 5 on a 5-point scale (excluding don't knows)
15%
Quality of the County's website
20%
39%
27%
Info available on Mesa County's programs/services
County's local election services
Services by County motor vehicle offices
Ease of locating County services
Ease of using County services
Quality of the County's website
Mesa County Fairgrounds
Info available on Mesa County's programs/services
Quality of the County's cable television channel
Services by County motor vehicle offices
Timeliness of info provided by local government
Ease of using County services
Public involvement in County decision-making
Mesa County Fairgrounds
Efforts to inform residents about local issues
Quality of the County's cable television channel
Mesa County's fiscal responsibility
Timeliness of info provided by local government
18%
29%
23%
21%
18%
20%
17%
18%
23%
23%
14%
18%
15%
17%
15%
23%
14%
14%
0%
40%
20%
34%
40%
37%
39%
37%
40%
28%
34%
34%
37%
33%
37%
32%
28%
32%
34%
14%
0%
43%
40%
60%
30%
Dissatisfied (1/2)
35%
32%
20%
11%
31%
8%
20%
20%
24%
13%
26%
13%
32%
15%
27%
16%
30%
11%
31%
24%
25%
20%
24%
14%
38%
13%
32%
22%
30%
16%
30%
18%
35%
24%
25%
19%
35%
14%
38%
80%
60%
100%
18%
35%
40%
22%
19%
80%
100%
please
Sponsors
Constructors
Inc.,
ered geology, plants, wildlife, art, row and in the future,
Very Satisfied
(5) come
Satisfied (4)
Neutral (3) FCI
Dissatisfied
(1/2)
photography and history of the and visit the forum, which runs from Enserca Engineering, Inc. and Wells
Source: ETC Institute (February 2011)
Institute
9am
through 3:30pm. The speaker Fargo. Over 60 vendors will parMonument. If you orETC
someone
in (2011)
your organization has an idea for agenda is posted on the Web site ticipate on Friday, February 22 at
a Monument-related program or under Visitor Information at ener- Two Rivers Convention Center. All
hike, a presenter, or a partnership gyexpoco.com. The keynote speaker vendors are energy-related compaETC Institute (2011)
suggestion, please contact Denise of the Energy Forum & Expo will nies, educational organizations or
at 858-3617 x308 or dhight@colora- be Mr. Robert Bryce, author of sponsors of the event. Visit the Web
“Power Hungry.” Mr. Bryce appears site at energyexpoco.com or call
donma.org.
regularly on Fox, CNBC and other 970.216.8657 for more information.
The Energy Forum & Expo CO
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Many sponsors have donated is FREE to the public to attend!The
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Looking for the best Valentine’s generously to present this event, Energy Forum & Expo CO is FREE
g i f t f o r y o u r s w e e t h e a r t o n including our Title and Major to the public to attend.
Valentines Day? Here’s the easy,
romantic answer! Deliver a singing Valentine via a Sweet Adelines
quartet! “Cover Charge” quartet
We’ll save you money or you’ll get
will surprise your sweetie any time
at home, office or restaurant with
two songs, candy and a flower—all
for just $45. Cover Charge will be
taking singing Valentines reservaCall 970-985-0010 Recieve a Free Terminal
tions on February 13 and 14th. Don’t
procrastinate! Cover Charge Singing
Valentines slots fill up quickly!
For more info or to book a “singing valentine” with Cover Charge,
call Colette at 261-0304 or email us
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You may also visit Cover Charge on
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For Particular Pets...
and their People
John McKean, Jade Inks, William Inks, Dan Hanley, Dee Dorrance, Priscilla Inks
100%
7%
Less Important (2/1)
56%
0%
Most Important (5)
40%
55%
Pet Particulars
The FREE Local Guide to News, Arts and Entertainment
is published monthly and distributed free across the Western Slope,
including in room delivery to hundreds of hotel / motel rooms.
To reach us call 970.256.9288 or write to
411.5 Main St., Grand Junction CO 81501
email: eeediting.gayle@gmail.com
Publisher: Jeffrey B. Inks
Resident Angels:
6%
Protect and manage all public resources
Promote a variety of industries to promote a healthy economy
Source: ETC InstituteMesa
(February
2011)fiscal responsibility
County's
and underinsured population by
providing access to basic health
screenings.
25%
49%
52%
Promote/protect public health and the success of all citizens
Plan the infrastructure to maintain quality of life during growth
14%
30%
49%
Promote/protect public health and the success of all citizens
Public involvement in County decision-making
15%
33%
Very Satisfied (5)
Satisfied (4)
Neutral (3)
Efforts to inform residents about local issues
15%
32%
2013 Grand Valley Health
Fair chooses Fall Schedule!
8%4%
Energy Forum & Expo is
February 22!
The Eighth Annual Energy
Forum & Expo CO will be held
Friday, February 22 at Two Rivers
Convention Center (159 Main
Street) in Grand Junction. Vendors
of the expo will be available to visit
with the public from 8am through
4pm.
For stimulating educational lectures and discussions concerning
the energy industry–today, tomor-
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Small Business
Financing equipment may be the
right move for your business
By Randall Cupp, U.S. Bank
Senior Commercial Team Leader for
Western Colorado 422 White Ave.,
970-244-7250.
Short on cash, but need equipment to run your business? Consider
equipment financing. Also known
as leasing, equipment financing
may be a better alternative to buying, depending on your situation
and needs.
Equipment financing is increasingly more common in business
today. Over the past two years,
equipment leasing has grown
approximately 20%, according to
recent research by the US Small
Business Administration (SBA).
In total, 8 out of 10, US businesses
lease all or part of their equipment,
reports the Equipment Finance
Leasing Association.
Leasing vs. Buying
According to research by the SBA,
the most commonly leased items are
office equipment, computers, and
trucks and vehicles.
When you buy equipment or a
vehicle, you typically have to pay
for it in full either by using cash or
nt
yme
o
l
p
Em
k
o
o
l
t
Ou
Employment & Economics
ket and rebuilding efforts after
Superstorm Sandy.
Caranci is predicting that construction alone will account for
roughly a quarter of all the jobs
added in 2013. “The housing market is gaining more momentum
on its own, and we think it could
be a leader in the job market,” she
said.
That said, political uncertainty
is still hanging over employers, as they wait for Congress to
hash out a budget deal. Amid an
impasse between Democrats and
Republicans, chances are growing that automatic spending cuts,
which aim to reduce deficits by $1.2
trillion over a decade, could take
effect in early March.
“Today’s report is a reminder
of the importance of the need for
Congress to act to avoid self-inflicted wounds to the economy,” said
Alan Krueger, head of President
Obama’s Council of Economic
Advisers, in a White House blog
post.
In January, health care continued
to be a strong sector for job growth,
adding 23,000 jobs. Most of those
jobs were in ambulatory healthcare
services, a category that includes
doctors’ offices and outpatient care
centers. Retail added 33,000 jobs,
with about a third of those gains at
clothing stores. Manufacturers added about 4,000 jobs, but the Labor
Department noted that employment in this sector has changed
little since July 2012.
Overall, the US economy lost 8.8
million jobs in the financial crisis,
and is still down about 3.2 million
jobs from the labor market’s height
in January 2008. Investors were
impressed by the jobs report, however. Stocks rallied, briefly pushing
the Dow above 14,000 for the first
time since October 2007.
Sources: NEW YORK (CNNMoney)
First Published: February 1, 2013: 8:46
AM ET Information from here and
Molly van Lawick.
Follow us on Facebook @ The Source Newspaper
Read Us Online For FREE
www.yvsource.com
Real Estate
2013 – Short Sale Update
Let’s start by defining what a
“short sale” is. A short sale is when
a homeowner owes more on his
home than what the house will
sell for in the current market. The
Grand Junction area has seen an uptick in short sale activity over the
last two years. Over the past few
years, banks have streamlined the
process and have put together better systems to process short sales
for the buyer and seller, ultimately,
allowing the homeowner to avoid
a foreclosure.
The key to a great short sale is
starting early—when you first realize the need to sell the property
or you can no longer stay current
with payments. Short sales become
more difficult as the public sale date
nears. Many banks are willing to
extend the public sale date, which
allows owners to participate in a
short sale.
The most common reasons I see
for a short sale situation are job relocation, loss of a job, family tragedy,
divorce, etc. In helping sellers with
the short sale process, I have found
that homeowners often don’t know
whom to contact when they start
facing a challenge with their home.
They know that they cannot sell the
home for what they bought it for,
or they are unable to stay current
with the payments. Typically, the
first call is to the bank holding the
mortgage, and the bank unfortunately does not offer many feasible
solutions. Homeowners often end
these phone conversations feeling
more confused and frustrated.
One solution banks offer most
homeowners is loan modifications.
If homeowners meet certain requirements, they can qualify for HARP, a
program that will modify loan terms
to make payments affordable.
Some banks are starting to allow
short sales to homeowners who are
not delinquent on their payments
but are in a situation where they
have to sell their home. In years
past, it was typical for the bank not
to work with owners until they were
at least 30 days late on a payment.
Owners facing challenges with
selling their home at market value
or owners not able to continue to
make their payment can contact a
REALTOR® to help navigate the
short sale process. A short sale-
fifth largest commercial bank in
the nation. We provide the financial strength and stability that your
company deserves. To learn more,
visit us online at: usbank.com/leasing
All extensions of credit are subject
to normal credit approval.
This information represents the
opinion of US Bank and is not
intended to be a forecast of future
events or a guarantee of future
results. It is not intended to serve
as a recommendation or solicitation
for the purchase or sale of any particular product or service. It does
not constitute advice and is issued
without regard to any particular
objective or the financial situation
of any particular individual.
**U.S. Bank and its representatives do not provide tax or legal
advice. Each tax and financial situation is unique. Consult with a tax
and/or legal advisor for advice and
information concerning a particular
situation.
US Bank is not responsible for
and does not guarantee the products, services or performance of its
affiliates or third party providers.
certified REALTOR® can assist an
owner to help alleviate the stress
of dealing with the bank and make
the process easier for the seller.
Something to keep in mind: With
a short sale, the lender is the one
that pays commissions and all
closing costs. The REALTOR® will
also negotiate with the bank for any
deficiency to be forgiven. With the
current Debt Relief Act in place for
the remainder of 2013, homeowners
can rest assured that they will not
be taxed on that deficiency.
If you or someone you know is
facing hardship making a house
payment, or they need to sell and
the market value of their home is
less than what they owe, suggest
they contact a REALTOR® who is
certified to work in short sales. A
certified agent will have the CDPE,
Certified Distressed Property
Expert, or Certified Home Rescue
Expert designation.
By Andrea Haitz, Broker Associate
and Team Lead of Diva Team at Keller
Williams Colorado West Realty, LLC
2484 Patterson Rd. Ste 100, 970244-9212, www.Diva-Team.com
5
1119 North First Unit G
Grand Junction
(970) 242-4500
http://grandjunctionco.expresspros.com/
The SOURCE / February 2013
By Molly van Lawick
The jobs recovery continued to
crawl forward at a slow pace in
January, and there’s little hope it
will pick up any time soon. The
US economy added 157,000 jobs
in January, according to a Labor
Department report released in
January. That’s slower growth
than in December, when employers hired 196,000 workers.
Call it “Groundhog Day in the
labor market,” said Heidi Shierholz,
economist with the Economic Policy
Institute. “It’s the same old crap.
We’ve been waking up to this same
story for two years.”
The unemployment rate was
7.9% in January, as 12.3 million people were counted as unemployed.
Overall, hiring is barely keeping
pace with population growth, and
the Labor Department noted that
the unemployment rate has barely
changed since September 2012.
Economists surveyed by
CNNMoney are expecting job
growth to continue in 2013 at
roughly the same pace as last year,
when the economy added 2.2 million jobs. They predict the unemployment rate will end the year at
7.5%.
Beata Caranci, vice president
and deputy chief economist at
TD Economics, said that many
of the job gains are likely to happen at the end of the year, though.
Construction hiring could be one
of the highlights this year. It was
the single hardest-hit sector in the
recession but has recently shown
some signs of life. In January, construction firms added 28,000 jobs,
reflecting a stronger housing mar-
by obtaining a loan for the balance.
Once you finish paying for it, you
own it.
With equipment financing, the
lender actually buys and owns
the equipment and then “rents” it
to back to your business at a flat
monthly rate for a set number of
months. At the end of the lease, your
business has several options: One
is that it can purchase the equipment for its fair market value (or
a fixed or predetermined amount),
continue leasing, return it or lease
new equipment. In other words,
with equipment financing, you are
merely paying for the use of the
equipment.
So why lease?
By financing equipment, you
leave money in the bank that can
be used for other purposes. Also,
since lease payments are usually
smaller than regular loan payments,
you often don’t have to pay out as
much each month, which leaves you
more cash to use elsewhere.
The benefits of leasing equipment
are many, including consistency
with expenses and increased cash
• Tax and accounting benefits—
With many leases, you may be able
to lower your taxable income by
deducting lease payments. Lessees
who prefer the tax benefits of ownership and use may take advantage
of accelerated depreciation under
IRS Section 179. To learn more about
the impact to your business, consult
a tax or accounting professional**.
A good place to start
You can get an equipment lease
from a variety of sources: a financing or leasing company, a third-party broker, directly from the manufacturer of the equipment, a bank or
a direct lender.
By partnering with a bank on
your financing, you can realize the
benefits of working toward a longterm lasting relationship. By helping clients understand all of their
financing options, direct lenders can
share their industry knowledge and
specialization, which is designed to
make the process easier.
US Bank Equipment Finance
is one of the largest equipment
finance providers in the nation.
For 40 years, we’ve proudly served
as a major funding source for companies in virtually every industry
sector nationwide. US Bank is the
The SOURCE
The
flow. But perhaps the most significant advantage of equipment
financing is the ability to maintain
up-to-date equipment. Leasing may
allow you to easily and affordably
add equipment or upgrade to a
completely new piece of machinery to meet future needs. This lets
you transfer the risk of being caught
with obsolete equipment to the leasing company.
Other benefits of leasing
include:
• Speed—Leasing allows your
business to respond quickly to
new opportunities and often
requires minimal documentation.
Your application can be approved
promptly, and you can receive your
equipment quickly.
• 100% financing—In many cases, leasing requires no down payment. This allows you to finance the
entire purchase, including software,
hardware, consulting, maintenance,
freight, installation and training
costs.
• Flexibility—Lease arrangements can be structured to meet
your individual needs. Payments
can be designed to fit your business’s cash flow or with different
term lengths.
Eve’s Rib
The SOURCE
By Gayle Meyer
eeediting.gayle@gmail.com
by Gayle Meyer
Sicko Inclinations
TV commercials thoughtfully warned me to expect the flu,
so I was ready when it came.
I bought the remedy whose TV
ads featured a disheveled, snotty,
boo-hoo-for-me woman whose
husband, thanks to the remedy, is
suddenly feeling so much better
that he whisks himself off to work,
whistling merrily, to infect countless others; while she is forced to
whine, snivel snottily and boohoo-hoo at ho-ho-home. I think it
was called Archaeopteryxadryl or
Triceratopsamine—something like
that. Anyway, it was guaranteed to
knock me out, keep me down and
fix me up.
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And it did! I could have had that
flu a full seven days, whereas, with
the medicine, I was over it in just a
week. However, I do have an aweinspiring sensitivity to medicines.
Case in point: One morning
years ago, prior to eye surgery, I
was given just one half of a tablet of Veloceraptoralium, I think it
was; and I misplaced the rest of the
day! My mother, who tended me
during those drugged, eye-patched
hours, told me that I fell asleep in
the bathtub. When awakened, I
discussed at length the snow tires
my brother had purchased months
before. When a repair truck drove
into the yard late that afternoon, I
ran from window to window, she
said, angered because I couldn’t
find a door to open for the repairman. She said I kept insisting he
was a florist with a truckload of
flowers from people wishing me a
speedy recovery.
Days later, when she relayed all
this, I was astonished. I’d never
known that Mother had such a gift
for exaggeration.
But I digress. Flu-ish, phlegmish and mucusly-muckish, I read
the tiny-type instructions on the
Diplodocustrofin box. They said
I shouldn’t take the medicine if I
were pregnant, asthmatic, hypertensive, anemic, threatened, endangered or extinct. “Do not use this
medication when operating heavy
equipment,” the box warned.
“Heavy equipment,” I mulled
stuffily, “like this pencil.”
I’m not a born nurse. I haven’t
met a sicko yet—including
myself—to whom I was raring to
cater. My method with my own
illness is to deny its existence for
three days. I then fall on my face
for a couple more, so sick I’d have
to rally in order to die. I finally
rise from my own ashes, Phoenixfashion, immediately after I’ve
made an appointment with the
doctor.
I always like the way my three
sons handled illness. They surrendered to it immediately, aware that
doing so transformed them into
pampered and peevish tyrants,
impossible to placate.
“There’s a wrinkle on the pillow,
and I can’t sleep,” one kid moaned.
“This juice is too orange,” another
whined. “My eye lashes ache,” the
third complained.
I also liked the way they got well.
Their progress was swift, obvious
and gratifying. Told I would keep
him home from school, a boy might
feign protest, feebly attempting to
rise from his bed of pain. I’d push
fluids and dose him liberally with
tri-buffered Pachycephalominic-T.
rex.
Within two hours, he would
rasp through parched lips, “Mom,
I don’t think I can eat anything
except maybe 7-Up—and some
ravioli with hot sauce.”
Four hours later, holding court
on the couch, he’d plaintively
announce he sensed strength
returning. “I could maybe draw
pictures of dinosaurs,” he’d sigh.
By noon, he’d developed a monstrous craving for watermelon Jolly
Ranchers. Twenty minutes before
his brothers were due from school,
he was suffering only from nearterminal boredom.
“Can I go to the bike jumps? I’m
better now, and I’ll go to school
tomorrow, even if I’m half dead.”
See what I mean? You can’t tell
me Dilophosaurominicol doesn’t
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By Barry Smith
barry@barrysmith.com
“Aha!” I yell out loud, all alone,
several times a day. “Now, THAT
is a great idea for a column.”
Each of these “great” column
ideas gets jotted down and
eventually assigned its very own
file on my computer. And there
they sit, these unrealized kernels of
brilliance, for months and months
and sometimes years. The lucky
ones get to experience life as an
actually Irrelativity column, while
the rest languish in the lonely dark
corners of my “WRITING TO GET
DONE NOW” folder, yelling “pick
me, pick me” each time I open it up
to poke around.
Every so often, like today, I do
a little cleaning, tossing out all
the files that I know I’ll never see
through to full column-hood.
But tossing them out seems
like such a waste, right? I mean,
just because I’ll never bother to
write them doesn’t mean that you
shouldn’t. So, here are…
IRRELATIVITY
COLUMNS
I’LL NEVER WRITE (BUT YOU
SHOULD)
IDEA: “CB Radio” Here’s a
column premise based on the
fact that my van has a CB radio
in it. Remember those? Didn’t
think so. I suggest, when writing
this one, that you focus on the
humorous opportunities available
when dealing with archaic
communication devices. Perhaps
liken having a CB to having a
telegraph key on the dash or a
trunk full of carrier pigeons. Also,
when I was 10 years old, I wanted
a CB more than anything in the
world; now that I’m an adult, I
have one, and I don’t care. See?
Pretty poignant stuff, what with
the growing older and all that. CB
radios are deep wells of serious
emotion, good buddy.
IDEA: “Dalai Lama vs. TSA”
I suspect that the Dalai Lama
doesn’t have to fly commercial, but
if he did, I wonder how he’d fare
going through security at Logan
Airport at 5am. Would he be able
to hold true to his conviction that
“my religion is kindness” with
someone yelling at him in a grating
Boston accent, “ALL SHOES OFF!
REMOVE YOUR BELTS, COATS
AND SCARVES! NOTHING IN
YOUR
POCKETS!
LAPTOPS
OUT OF YOUR BAGS! YOU TOO,
BALDY!” For maximum humor,
this column should conclude with
His Holiness using a series of
incredibly filthy swear words or
kneeing a TSA agent in the groin.
Or both, preferably.
IDEA: “Screened Hard Drive”
Yes, another air travel-based idea.
How could you possibly have
too many of these? My bag got
searched when I flew out of the
quaint and friendly Grand Junction
Airport. The woman pulled the
LaCie Rugged portable hard drive,
the kind with the orange rubber
case around it, from my bag. She
turned it over in her hands, looked
at me and said, “What is it?” I told
her it was a hard drive. She replied,
“What’s it do?” She had never
seen a hard drive, nor even heard
of one. Yet, she was in charge of
keeping explosives off of planes.
Whoa. When you write this one,
don’t be too mean to her, because
she really was very nice about the
whole thing.
IDEA: “Lassie the Cat” Last
summer my sprinkler went
haywire and was spraying into my
open front door. I was upstairs and
didn’t realize anything was wrong,
but it freaked out my cat, and her
resulting loud squalling alerted me
to the situation. She saved me from
some serious water damage to
my floor. I think this story would
make a great column about how
dependable, loyal and helpful cats
can be. But I can’t write it because
I’m trying really, really hard not to
write about my cat. So, when YOU
write it, make sure you mention
how cute she is, and how smart,
and how she likes to ride around
on my shoulders, and how, if I ever
fell down a well, she would, just
like Lassie, definitely go for help.
Provided there’s nothing around
to distract her, such as a bird, or a
bit of string, or a sunbeam, or an
empty box, or a pinecone, or some
invisible thing that only she can
see.
on it. That’s it—an angry, impatient,
heavily-caffeinated
GPS!
The
whole column spelled itself out in
my head at that moment, word for
word, but I was too tired to write
down anything more than “Spilled
Coffee on my GPS.” And now, so
far removed from that moment,
and no longer groggy from a nap,
the idea doesn’t seem nearly as
funny. Good luck.
The SOURCE
IRRELATIVITY...Columns I’ll Never Write
IDEA: “Spilled Coffee on my
GPS” Last year I was on a long
drive and pulled over to take a
nap. Another nap. I was feeling
a bit guilty for not making great
time, and, as I woke from my nap,
I imagined my GPS yelling at me
for being a slacker. But what, I
thought, would make a calm,
detached,
matter-of-fact
GPS
suddenly get aggro on me? Well...
maybe if somebody spilled coffee
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7
The SOURCE
...Stupid Tax
By Lyle Stout
lstout13@hotmail.com
Wi t h t h e i r
usual smug
attitude, members of the City
Council of Grand Junction recently
announced that they would present
a plan on the next ballot to allow the
citizens to levy another stupid tax
upon themselves. This comes about
because of the fact that the city has
once again stolen more money from
its citizens than is allowed by law
through over-taxation, so the stupid
tax is to test the intelligence of the
taxpayers to see if they really are
stupid enough to allow the city to
keep that stolen money and then
allow the council to decide how to
spend it. In the words of the councilors, they will be deliberately vague
on exactly how they will spend the
money and later take some suggestions from taxpayers on how best to
spend it. That plan does not mean
they will use any of the ideas presented, but, as all parents know, it’s
best to let the children think they
have a say in things. The council has been emboldened in these
endeavors by the recent state ballot
question that failed regarding the
rollback of the $45 extra charge on
vehicle registrations that has cost
the taxpayers millions of dollars but
was allowed to stand by the very
people on whom the extra tax was
levied.
If the stupid tax passes and council members do ask the taxpayers
where they should spend the stolen
money, I think a few ideas should
be added to the proposal. Why not
Bollan’s Beefs
A recent
Facebook post
by a fourteenyear-old said,
“I believe that hard work will pay
off.” Because it was so refreshing
to hear such words in an era where
this idea is anachronistic, I didn’t
bother telling her countless stories
of hard work that didn’t pay off.
And I didn’t tell her that, in America
today, hard work rarely pays off
for the person who does the hard
work.
America has slipped into freemarket free-fall. And we’ve been
falling for so long that this little girl
and her generation will never even
understand what hit them. The rich
have been getting richer for a half a
century, while the poor have gotten
poorer. The middle class has held its
ground, for the most part, but has
done so by having fewer children
and more incomes. Productivity
gains because of globalization and
computerization have been stolen by
the well-placed few. Income mobility is low and has trended lower for
ask the taxpayers
if they want to put
the extra taxes into
their child’s college fund—or their
own retirement
fund? How about
asking the taxpayers if they want to
use it to help pay
the rising cost of
their utilities in this unusually cold
winter? What about using it to fill
the car up a time or two with $2.75/
gallon gas, or put it toward the family’s food costs, or prepaying a little
on the home mortgage?
The reason those proposals will
not be considered is because they
would require giving the money
back to the people from whom it
was actually stolen. I know the City
Council will explain that it really
isn’t enough to give each taxpayer
much, and some of it will go back to
big companies from which the city
stole money. But if those businesses paid the taxes, don’t they logically have a presence in the area?
Don’t they all have employees who
might benefit from the taxes being
By Jack Bollan
jgbollan@aol.com
A Slow, Painful Death
half a century. Less than one in five
Americans born at or below middle
income make their way into the
upper-income reaches. That is the
worst record in the Western World.
Europe was once the bastion of aristocracy, now it is us.
Unions have no power today. The
few that exist are severely weakened
by the billions of dollars spent each
year by corporations to minimize
the say of workers in how wealth is
allocated. Labor Day is now a confusing holiday understood mostly
as a day that laborers get a day off
rather than as a celebration of the
importance and centrality of workers and the power of workers united in creating and sustaining the
wealth and greatness of our country.
The worker has been emasculated;
unions defeated.
So no one stepped in to say,
“NO!” when NAFTA was passed,
sending hundreds of thousands of
decent-paying jobs to Mexico. It all
happened in a flash. The minute
the border opened, savvy corporations with too-tight government
ties had in place facilitiesnorthern
Mexico. Those who worry about
job losses in America because of
illegals seem naively unaware that
American corporations have moved
millions of jobs overseas in the past
20 years. It’s legal immigration of
American jobs overseas so that a
few people can make a lot of money
on the backs of poor foreigners and
American workers.
Our manufacturing jobs vanished in a heartbeat, and they
won’t be back. WalMart is nothing
but a Chinese manufacturing outlet chain. Sam Walton and family
got filthy rich by selling out the
American worker. They now claim
to treat their workers well, but that’s
bull. They could treat their workers
well if they refused to buy anything
not made in America, to allow the
return of manufacturing jobs to
America. “Paying workers well”
in America today means paying
pennies on the dollar compared to
20 years ago.
And we are not exposed to
alternatives. We live in a box. The
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refunded to the rightful owners,
rather than spent on things such
as the Avalon Theater renovation
and that ultimate pie-in-the-sky
Lost Colonies Parko? If the city has
$3 million to sink into the Avalon
Theater, after it easily “found” $34
million to build the new Public
Safety Building on Fifth and Ute,
do it really need more of the public’s
hard-earned money?
I think this proposal exposes the
root of the problem in our system.
These duly elected officials cannot see a dollar they don’t want to
spend. If they over-tax you, there
is never a concept that they should
give the money back. They feel as if
they’ve lost money by returning the
stolen funds. If your utility bill was
in error, and you were overcharged
one month, wouldn’t you expect the
utility company to refund the overcharge? If a grocery store charged
you $20 instead of $2 for a can of
soup, and you back to get a refund,
would you tolerate it if the market
told you that the amount they overcharge all the customers would be
so small a refund individually that
they wanted to keep the money to
make some improvement in their
store?
Then why should the city entity be
any different? In a sense, city dwellers are their customers, and they’ve
stolen money from those customers.
Now, they ask if you’ll vote to let
them keep the stolen money. If the
voters give them this money, what
incentive will they have not to steal
more next year?!
I’ve never thought that city council members or the county commissioners or other elected governing
groups are intrinsically dishonest or
evil. I just think that it gives them
a greater feeling of importance if
they’re spending money and awarding contracts and building stuff they
can hang a plaque on that may
include their names.
The last time they stole extra money from the taxpayers, they said that
there was really no mechanism in
place to give stolen tax money back.
I would say to them: Either make
that mechanism, or quit illegally
taking money from your struggling,
already overtaxed populace.
American press was purchased by
corporate America 30 years ago.
At the time, I remember the oftvoiced concerns about what would
happen to free speech in a nation
where every major news resource
was owned by a corporation. Now,
no one is concerned because it is
a mundane fact of life. Our press
is boring, myopic and serves only
to produce profit for some or other
corporation. It does not tackle tough
questions because it has forgotten
what those questions might be.
America has become a nation
of sheep. Right here in Grand
Junction, I have watched as company after company has shut its
doors and moved operations overseas. Management at Choice Hotels
should have been tarred and feathered as they moved hundreds of
jobs overseas for the sake of a few
pennies’ profit, for the benefit of
some rich guy somewhere.
Politics have become a meaningless joke. The Republican Party is a
party of rich people and wanna-bes.
“Wanna-bes” are white guys making $35 to $60 thousand who fancy
that they have “made it.” That’s the
first joke. The second joke is that
they think they “made it” by luck,
pluck and hard work. They’re too
self-satisfied to realize how badly
they have been screwed because
they continue to espouse a political
belief bought and paid for by people
intent on transferring wealth to a
new uber-wealthy aristocracy.
To be able to stay in the race, the
Democratic Party says one thing
and does another as it panders to
the wealthy. Politics is politics from
within the box that blinds us to the
gradual but steady decay of our
culture. We have no alternatives.
Slogan-based reasoning blinds us
to out-of-the-box alternatives that
would allow us to shake this nation
hard enough to break and repair
persistent problems.
We live in a box. John Lennon
wrote, “Keep ‘em doped with religion and sex and TV. And they
think they’re so clever and classless and free.” But we’re not. What
this country needs is a good, hard
shaking, an awakening to the fact
that the free market is a contrivance that leads right back to where
this nation started, with a few rich
people governing a bunch of poor,
ignorant peasants.
A fourteen-year-old can still hear
and believe a voice from a bygone
era in American that said, “Hard
work will pay off.” But without
the hard work and courage of millions of workers united in unions or
behind a strong government willing
to pass labor laws with teeth, hard
work will do nothing but generate
wealth for the new aristocracy.
And the American Dream,
already wounded, will die a slow,
painful death.
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With Barack Obama
one’s objection if a president were
to pay his chief of staff $5,000,000 a
year,” he told TheDC. “And nothing but a president’s conscience can
dissuade him from buying his own
reelection with use of some public
money.”
Aside from a salary, the president gets a $50,000 a year expense
account, a $100,000 travel account,
$19,000 entertainment budget and
an additional million for “unanticipated needs,” he notes.
Here is a sample of other pricey
taxpayer funded perks exclusively
reserved for the president:
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The SOURCE / February 2013
Taxpayers spent $1.4 billion dollars on everything from staffing,
housing, flying and entertaining
President Obama and his family
last year, according to the author
of a new book on taxpayer-funded
presidential perks.
In comparison, British taxpayers spent just $57.8 million on the
royal family.
Author Robert Keith Gray
writes in “Presidential Perks Gone
Royal” that Obama isn’t the only
president to have taken advantage
of the expensive trappings of his
office. But the amount of money
spent on the first family, he argues,
has risen tremendously under the
Obama administration and needs
to be reined in.
Gray told The Daily Caller that
the $1.4 billion spent on the Obama
family last year is the “total cost of
the presidency,” factoring the cost
of the “biggest staff in history at
the highest wages ever,” a 50 percent increase in the numbers of
appointed czars and an Air Force
One “running with the frequency
of a scheduled air line.”
“The most concerning thing,
I think, is the use of taxpayer
funds to actually abet his re-election,” Gray, who worked in the
Eisenhower administration and
for other Republican presidents,
said in an interview with TheDC
on Wednesday.
“The press has been so slow in
picking up on this extraordinary
increase in the president’s expenses,” Gray told TheDC.
Specifically, Gray said taxpayer
dollars are subsidizing Obama’s
re-election effort when he uses Air
Force One to jet across the country
campaigning.
When the trip is deemed political, it’s customary for the president
to pay the equivalent of a first class
commercial ticket for certain passengers. But Gray says that hardly
covers the taxpayer cost of flying the president and his staffers
around on Air Force One.
“When the United States’ billiondollar air armada is being used
politically, is it fair to taxpayers that
we only be reimbursed by the president’s campaign committee for the
value of one first-class commercial
ticket for each passenger who is
deemed aboard ‘for political purposes?’” Gray asks in the book.
“And is that bargain-price
advantage fair to those opposing
an incumbent president?”
In the book, Gray admits
Americans want their president to
be safe and comfortable but argues
the system should be reformed to
stop the amount of unquestioned
perks given to the president.
“There is no mechanism for any-
The SOURCE
RoadTrippin’
The president can to appoint
high-paid staffers without Senate
confirmation: Obama has 469 senior
staffers and 226 are paid more than
$100,000 a year, according to the
book. Seventy-seven are paid as
much as $172,000 per year. He also
has appointed 43 “czars.”
The president can vacation for
free at Camp David: Gray writes
that each round trip made to Camp
David costs the taxpayers $25,350.
It’s also estimated that the combined transportation and personnel costs for a Camp David visit are
$295,000 per night.
The president has a full-time
movie projectionist in the White
House theater: Projectionists sleep
at the White House and are there 24
hours a day in case anyone needs
to see a movie. “Compared to the
450 times President Carter used
the movie theater in his four years
in the White House, the average
American citizen, according to
industry statistics, goes out to see
a movie slightly less than five times
a year,” Gray writes.
The president’s family’s gets certain travel and security expenses
paid while vacationing: “First Lady
Michelle Obama drew flack from
the media and irate citizens when
it was disclosed that, not counting
Saturdays and Sundays, she spent
42 days on vacation — within the
span of one year.”
The president’s dog gets its own
high-paid staffer: “Bo made the
news when he and his handler were
flown to join the president on vacation in Maine,” Gray wrote about
the Obama family dog. “It has been
reported that the first family’s dog
handler was paid $102,000, last
year.”
http://dailycaller.com
The SOURCE
Business Profile
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By Casey Smith
2013 has arrived. As in every
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new fitness store in Grand Junction.
Making your dreams become an
attainable reality, Alpha Sports
and Nutrition is revolutionizing
the fitness world here in two
distinct fashions. Not only is this
new store selling supplements to
help you reach your nutritional
expectations, but the company has
its own personal fitness gym.
Owner and certified personal
trainer and nutritionist Bill
The SOURCE / February 2013
10
supplement store,” Shumate said.
“That’s when I discovered I
didn’t want necessarily to give up
the joy that I have from working
with people. So when we found this
place, I realized I could combine the
two.”Shumate is currently helping
many people push their limits and
become better athletes on top of
supplementation. His training
tactics are altered from person
to person. Shumate’s different
exercise strategies target certain
areas, such as weight loss, muscle
gain, cardiovascular endurance,
lean muscle attainability, flexibility,
implementing sports specific
criteria and more. From an MMA
fighter to a ballerina, Shumate can
guide you to be the best at what
you do.
If you go into a gym, they are
looking at you physically. If you go
into a nutritionist, they are looking
Shumate is putting all of his talents
to work by helping people reach
their highest potential in all areas
related to nutrition and physical
fitness.
By incorporating state-of-theart nutrition software, Shumate
will pinpoint where you currently
stand healthwise, and literally map
out where you can go.
The best part of it is, Shumate
will not only give you the
knowledge of how to attain your
desired health and fitness level, he
can also personally train you on
the spot.
“My goal is to empower you
to be the best person you can
be. Whether that’s knowledge,
overcoming some success issues
or just becoming a better athlete,
here it’s all about creating the best
environment for you to thrive in,”
said Shumate.
“At Alpha Sports we take
the time to help our customers
learn,” Shumate continued.
“Learning what the muscles do,
why we take breaks, why we add
these combinations of exercises
and the benefits of taking certain
supplements.”
“We do that through exercise,
nutrition, supplementation, and I
think the emotional and spiritual
value is always there, too,”
Shumate said.
Shumate has been NASM
(National Association of Sports
Medicine) certified for three years,
and a certified nutritionist for a
year and a half.
“I have been in town working
with a local franchise gym for the
past four years, and when I decided
to start my own business, I was
really looking into just opening a
at you nutritionally. If you go into
buy supplements, they are just
trying to sell you something
“So here at Alpha Sports, you
get the total package because I am
a coach,” Shumate said. “We are
going to start off with nutrition,
next we’ll look at your exercise,
and then I’m going to make a
recommendation for a supplement
that is more appropriate for what
you’re doing and what you’re
eating. Lastly, we’ll absorb all the
exercise considerations and take
you to the next level with your
training and see if we can get you
the results you’re looking for.”
Alpha Sports and Nutrition is
located at 2490 Patterson Rd., Suite
#7 Grand Junction,. Store hours
are Monday-Friday 9am-7pm,
Saturday 10am-6pm and closed on
Sunday.
Providing affordable and versatile vinyl lettering and
graphics for windows, walls, cars and trucks.
Turns almost any surface into advertising space or a work of art!
Vibrant Vinyl
AffordAble Vinyl lettering And decAls
~ Window and automotive signs and decals
~ Metal, wood, and plexiglass signs
~ Custom wall designs for the home or office
~ Removal of old, stuck on lettering and
installation of the new decal
Locally owned and operated here in Grand Junction.
We take pride in being budget friendly
so if you are quoted a lower amount anywhere else
in town, we’ll match it.
(970) 424-2235 • www.vibrantvinyl.com
Philanthropy
By Jade Inks
Philanthropy—one word, four syllables,
and a world of meanings. Etymologically,
it means “love of man.” The BOW project,
(Better Our World) breathes life and meaning
into the word “philanthropy.” The project
challenged me to find my own definition of
philanthropy.
Philanthropy is everywhere. It’s a New
York Times headline; it’s volunteering at your
local homeless shelter, or even helping your
mom bring the groceries inside. Philanthropy
can be right under your nose—I know now
that it’s definitely under mine. It’s a healthy
sacrifice of your time or money just to help a
specific cause, such as a charity. Philanthropy
has many meanings, but what I’ve learned
is that the root of philanthropy comes from
love, need and a duty to improve the general
welfare of mankind.
There are important reasons to help others
through philanthropy. When you use your
skills to help others, you can help make the
world a better place to live. I believe a very
important reason to help others is because,
in the end, it helps yourself. By giving, you
create a balance. I feel when I help others
I gain a new perspective on the world. In
return, I gain a greater appreciation for the
things that are really important.
It’s also important to help others because,
when you help, you can inspire those whom
you helped (or people who observed you
helping) to help others. In the end, it creates
a cycle of giving. If people didn’t realize the
importance of helping others, we could be
living in a very selfish world. The BOW project has raised my awareness of important reasons to help others through philanthropy.
After completing The BOW project, I know
of several different causes I would be interested in helping. I would love to volunteer at
Hospice, a place where many people spend
have made a difference caring for someone.
Another cause I would be interested in
helping is the Humane Society/Animal
Shelter. I love animals. I know that, if I volunteered my time at the animal shelter, it
would be worthwhile. I’d especially like to
learn about caring for animals and helping
them find loving homes.
The BOW project has changed my understanding of the word “philanthropy” and
increased my desire to help. I never truly
knew what philanthropy meant. I always
thought it was just donating money or help-
ing at the homeless shelter. I never understood that philanthropy is everywhere and
that you don’t have to be a certain age to be
able to give back. Philanthropy is the true
spirit of giving without expecting anything
back in the hopes of making the world a better place.
Note: The BOW project is a school project where we interview local philanthropic
organizations and recognize them for their
service and impact on the community. The
whole point is to discover what it means to
us to Better our World.
The SOURCE
their time caring
for those nearing
the end of life.
There is always
a need to help
people who are
growing elderly
and those who are
dying. A reason I
am extremely interested in volunteering here
is because I would enjoy bringing comfort
to those nearing the end. It would be a very
rewarding experience knowing that I could
Nepal is a land of
colorful diversity in both
culture and cuisine.
Now, Nepal Restaurant brings you
a taste of the country's rich culinary
heritage with a delicious variety of recipes
painstakingly gathered from the royal
kitchens of Nepal to the seaswept shores of
South India. These recipes offer a truly
delightful Nepali experience.
Open Monday-Saturday
Lunch Buffet
11:00 am - 2:30 pm
Dinner Menu
5:00 pm - 9:00 pm
356 Main Street in Grand Junction • 970.242.2233 • Take out and catering services available
11
The SOURCE / February 2013
Appetizer
Soup & Salad
Breads
Vegetarian
Kawab & Grill
Chicken
Lamb
Tibetian
Seafood
Biryani
House Specials
Kathmandu Sampler
Desserts
Beverages
The SOURCE
The
Entertainment Calendar
February
Thru 15 Feb-Between Here and
There, CMU Art Department pres-
ents a dialogue in fiber, Art Gallery,
University Center, 1100 North
Avenue. 248-1833.
A Month of Love
Couples Spa Treatment
BreAnn Baily &
Rachel Wampler
Invite You to Experience
Salon Capelli
Couples Massage 1 hour $100
Hot Stone Treatment 90 minutes $160
Body Wraps $80 Valid thru Feb 28, 13
970-248-3554 • 627 Grand Ave
www.saloncapelligj.net
BAR
www.cruisersgj.com
Open Daily at 3pm-2am/365 Days a Year
02-08
02-09
Live Music Schedule
Evergreen Grass Band from Wisconsin
FlAT TOP REED
Compete for Fun & Prizes
02-10 BAR OLYMPICS 8 Categories to Play
Pick a partner & become a Cruiser’s CHAMP
02-15 THE LONGEST DAY OF THE YEAR
Alt Rock from Boulder
02-16
02-22 Cat
Tail Pony
02-23
03-02 Lowlands
03-07 Velvet Truck Stop
New 81” TV
Watch the
Nuggets & Av’s
all the way
to the
Championships
12
Happy Hou
r
7 DAYS A
WEEK
3PM-7PM
MIDNIGHT2AM
NIGHTLY
SPECIALS
10-12PM
Watch
Monday Happy Hour till 10p
Tuesday 2 Fer Tuesdays (well)
Wednesday Ladies Night
Thursday Quiz Ninja’s 8-10pm
Thursday $10 All You Can Drink
Wells & Domestics from 9-12p
The SOURCE / February 2013
Weekend Drink & Shot Specials
Get Your Cruisers
Entertainment
Updates Online
LIKE US!
715 Horizon Dr. • Grand Junction
970-314-2554
COLDEST BEER
In The Universe!
BAR
Thru14 Mar-Young at Heart at
Powderhorn. Thursdays throughout Powderhorn Season, skiers
over age 50 ski with friends and
guide from Ski & Ride School. 2685700.
6 Feb-1 May-Wacky Wednesdays,
9-10am, Bookcliff Activity Center
540 29.25 Road. For ages 6 months
to 5 yearse254-3866.
7 Feb-30 May-Senior Dances
w/Live Music, every Thursday
7:30-10pm, Senior Center, 550
Ouray Ave. Agest 50+ are free!
254-3866.
7 Feb-Deuces Wild, Senior
Center, 550 Ouray. For ages 50+.
Enjoy dinner, then play Vegas-style
games for prizes. 243-7408.
7 Feb-Mesa Fiber Arts Guild
Meeting, 6pm, City Clerk’s Office
Breakroom, 250 N. Fifth St. All are
welcome. Park on street and enter
from the west side of the building.
Bugs and Fiber; share your interest
in spinning, weaving, knitting. M.
Eversole, 818-269-9948.
7 Feb-Family Science NightUnderwater Adventure, 2660
Unaweep. Call for time, info: 2541626.
8 Feb-The Hunts, 7:30pm, GJHS
Auditorium, 1400 N. Fifth St.
General seating. Award-winning
family of 9, the Hunts mix fiddling with world-ranked step
dancing and vocal harmonies.
Mesa Community Concert Assn,
243-1979l.
9 Feb-Two River Sams Chapter
Good Sam RV Club lunch, 11:30am.
Call for location: 523-5625 or 2700471.
9 Feb-Sweet Heart 5k/10k Run
& Health Expo, Fruita Community
Center, 324 N. Coulson, Fruita.
Times, info: 858-0360.
9 Feb-Saxophone Day Final
Concert, 4pm, Moss Performing
Arts Center Recital Hall. Free! 970248-1604.
9 Feb-Sweetheart Gala, Bookcliff
Country Club, High Desert Opera.
Info: 523-9605.
11 Feb-Home Loan Taste of
the Grand Valley-11th Annual,
4-7:30pm, Two Rivers Convention
Center, 159 Main Street. Adults $13,
seniors $10, children ages 4-12, $6.
At door, tickets prices are $2 more.
243-5364.
12 Feb-The Notebook, Dinner
and Movie at the Avalon, 7:15pm,
645 Main. Bring dinner receipt
from downtown restaurant and get
in free. No receipt? $5 per person.
14 Feb-Valentines for Veterans
Concert, 7pm, Avalon Theater, 645
Main. Complimentary event for
Veterans.
14 Feb-Jazz, Champagne and
Chocolate Valentine’s Day at
Varaison Winery, 405 W. First
St., Palisade, 6:30-8:30pm. Bring
your sweetie for a romantic event
or enjoy a girls’ night out on
Valentine’s Day. Every woman
receives a red rose. $50/person;
souvenir wine glass and wine
glass holder tray with every ticket!
Listen to live jazz while sipping
champagne and enjoying chocolate
in many forms, including dripping
fountain. Atasteofthevalley.net,
(970) 216-6922.
14 Feb-Dennis Parker Cello
Concert, accompanied by Lina
Morita on piano, 1221 N. Twelfth.
Call CMU box office for info, time:
248-1604.
14-16 Feb-Beyond Boundaries
Dance Collective winter Dance
Concert, 1100 North Avenue
(CMU). Details: 248-1604.
14-16 Feb-“I Love You, You’re
Perfect, Now Change,” Creative
Avenues presentation, 7:30pm, 835
N. 26th St. $15 adult, $10 student/
senior. Season passes (4 shows)
for $50; senior/student $36. 2615363.
15 Feb-22 Mar-Knights of
Columbus Fish Fry, 4-7pm, Council
1321 Immaculate Heart of Hary,790
26.5 Road, Grand Junction. $8
adults, $7 children 6-12; children
under 6 free. All proceeds benefit
Knights of Columbus local charities. Great food, fun with family
and friends in Christian community. Baked cod, breaded Pollock
fish, green beans, mashed potatoes,
French fried, clam chowder, coleslaw, dessert, drinks. 260-7664.
19 Feb-Flute Day Final Concert,
4pm, Moss Performing Arts Center
Recital Hall. Free! 970-248-1604.
19 Feb-A Hard Day’s Night,
Dinner and Movie at Avalon,
7:15pm, 645 Main. Bring dinner
receipt from downtown restaurant
and get in free. No receipt? $5 per
person.
20 Feb-Cross Country Skiing at
County Line, Grand Mesa, Mesa
CO. Meet 10am @ Lincoln Park
Barn, transportation provided, $25;
if you have your own transportation, meet @ 11am at County Line,
$5. 254-3866.
20 Feb-Adult Art Class &
Evening Workshop, making your
own garden journals w/Maxine
Buchholtz, including folded packet
accordion book, Botanical Gardens,
655 Struthers. Material fee $6.
Register by 17 Feb: 245-9030.
20 Feb-Old Spanish Trail Lecture,
7-8:30pm, Museum of the West, 462
Ute Avenue. Doors open at 6:30pm,
free, open to the public. 970-2637902.
20 Feb-Orchids 101, Garden Talk
Brown Bag Lunch Class, noon1pm, Western Colorado Botanical
Gardens Library, 655 Struthers. $5;
registration encouraged: 254-3866;
drop-ins welcome, too! More info:
245-3288.
21 Feb-Poets & Writers of CMU
Reading Series continues with
Charles McLeod, Randy Phillis,
Alana Voth, Planet Earth & 4
Directions Gallery, 524 Colorado
Avenue. Time, info: 256-9630.
22 Feb-The Oak Ridge Boys,
7pm (doors), 8pm (show), the
Avalon Theater, 645 Main St. All
seats reserved; everyone must
have a ticket for admission. Will
Call available at door; all ages welcome. 243-8497.
23 Feb-Clarinet Day Final
Concert, CMU, 1231 N. Twelfth St.
Info: CMU Box Office: 248-1604.
23 Feb-We’ll always have Paris,
1940s Benefit Ball, CMU Ballroom,
Colorado Mesa University campus. This event is to raise funds
for a People to People Student
Ambassador ’s Australian
Adventure program. Info: 8123863.
2 4 F e b - Yo u n g A r t i s t s
Competition Finals, 1100 North
Avenue. 243-6787 (Symphony
office).
26 Feb-Gran Torino, Dinner
and Movie at Avalon, 7:15pm, 645
Main. Bring dinner receipt from
downtown restaurant and get in
free. No receipt? $5 per person.
28 Feb-9 Mar-Pirates of
Penzance, 1100 N. Twelfth Street.
Call CMU box office for info, times,
costs: 248-1604.
March
1 Mar-Super Fun Friday, 9-11am,
ages 3-5, Bookcliff Activity Center,
540 29.25 Road. $5. 254-3866.
1-3 Mar-Home Improvement
& Remodeling Expo, Two Rivers
Convention Center, 159 Main
Street. Hours: Friday, March 1:
10am - 6pm; Saturday, March 2:
10am - 6pm; Sunday, March 3:
10am - 4pm. Join the Housing
& Building Association of
Northwestern Colorado’s 2013
Home Improvement & Remodeling
Expo! With over 100 different
vendors, there is something here
for everyone—an event not to be
missed! For more Information call
970-245-0253.
2 Mar-Mesa County Library
One Book One Mesa County, 7pm,
Avalon Theater, 645 Main. This
year’s selection is “The Dog Stars”
by Peter Heller, a novel with an
apocalyptic theme. Call 243-7033
for more info.
5 Mar-American Portrait Concert
w/ Elsie Helmke, harp, Grand
Junction High School Auditorium,
1400 N. Fifth St. Call Symphony
office: 243-6787.
5 Mar-From Russia with Love,
Dinner and Movie at Avalon,
7:15pm, 645 Main. Bring dinner
receipt from downtown restaurant
and get in free. No receipt? $5 per
person.
7 Mar-Mesa Fiber Arts Guild
Meeting, 6pm, City Clerk’s Office
Breakroom, 250 N. Fifth St. All are
welcome. Share a historic or vintage piece! Park on street and enter
from the west side of the building.
Bugs and Fiber; share your interest
in spinning, weaving, knitting. M.
Eversole, 818-269-9948.
9 Mar-Celtic Fire, 7:30pm, GJHS
Auditorium, 1400 N. Fifth St.
Dazzling Irish music and dance!
243-1979.
The SOURCE
Tunes
By Frank Moore
thefrankoshow@yahoo.com
Discover New/Old Music
As a lover of music (and its
being a HUGE part of my daily
life), I am constantly searching for
new, and in some cases, NOT so
new bands to discover. Although
all the classic bands are great for
picking up your mood and taking
you to a better place in your life’s
daily grind, I find it refreshing
to search for and open my mind
to new treasures in the music
world.
I stumbled upon a band not so
long ago called the Big Wu...yeah,
it seems like an odd name for a
band, but these guys really rock—
a great “jam band,” some would
call it…. The Big Wu, a band out
of Minnesota that derived its
name from the movie “Joe vs.
the Volcano,” has actually been
around since 1992, but, again, they
are new to me! If you get a chance,
check them out! Leaning toward
the album “Spring Reverb,” the
song “Break of day” will get you
grooving, for sure!
Another awesome band I have
been listening to lately is called
Thievery Corporation. Again,
it’s not so much a “new” band—
it was formed in 1995—but it’s
going strong with a release in 2011
called “Culture of Fear.” It fits my
own description of trippy acid jazz
and Reggae mashed together with
psychedelic grooves. It’s got great
instrumental guitar riffs, trippy
synthesizer tracks and vocals that
will have you hooked in no time!
To get acquainted, try a jam titled
“Web of Deception” off the album
“Culture of Fear.”
If you want just to chill, sample
another great band I’ve stumbled
upon recently called Explosions
in the Sky. It’s mainly an instrumental band, out of Austin TX,
formed in 1999. It’s not your average “rock band” nor a band to get
Elephant Revival
your blood pumping with upbeat
jams, but it delivers some very
relaxing tracks, for sure.
I will leave you with one more
band I’ve been listening to, a band
by the name of Elephant Revival,
formed in 2006, from Nederland
CO! I happened to see the band
live here last June! if you like
Mumford and Sons, you will
definitely dig these guys! They’re
kind of a bluegrass/folk with a
Celtic nature thrown into the mix.
Instruments include upright bass,
washboard, electric banjo, viola,
mandolin, acoustic guitar and
musical saw. The band has opened
for acts such as Bela Fleck and
the Flecktones, George Clinton
and Parliament Funkadelic, and
Leftover Salmon.
While the music we usually
rely on to help us through life,
the bands we have grown to love
and depend on, still move us and
calm us, it’s always a good thing
to discover new jams. Most likely, none of the above mentioned
bands will ever have a Top-40 hit.
But it’s great to open your mind to
new things—and you never know
what you might find to tame the
beast that lives in all of us. There
is an endless universe of new/old
music to discover out there!
A ‘Greenhorn’ skis
Powderhorn!
By Casey Smith
crs281source@gmail.com
The sun was shining, the powder was fresh, and
the groundhog misinterpreted his shadow. Over the
weekend of February 2, one thing is for sure—my first
experience on Powderhorn Mountain was NOT misinterpreted.
Located on the Grand Mesa, the world’s largest
flat-topped mountain, Powderhorn offers everyone a
challenging yet fun experience. No matter what your
skill level is, Powderhorn Mountain Resort, a mere
90-minute round trip from Grand Junction, is waiting
for you!
It was my first time to ski Powderhorn this past weekend, and I embraced every minute of it. The slopes were
freshly coated, and the air was thin. The mountains
are a beautiful sight. As a newcomer to the western
slope, and to Colorado for that matter, I truly appreciate
Tubing Hill & Bungee Tramp
Powderhorn’s Tubing Hill and Bungee Tramp offer
families and friends two other ways to get out and play
this winter! Open mid December through mid March,
tubing is available in 2 hour sessions and is limited to
35 guests at a time. This helps keep the line down and
ensures that everyone gets a lot of tube time. Fun for
all ages, a specially-designed surface lift takes riders
Continued on Page20
490 28-1/4 Road 242-3581
Step out of the cold weather &
onto the beach front property here at After Shock
Thursday—College Night
Open at 9pm and play the card war game with
bartenders for a free drink. The only night for 18+
Friday—FAC
Open at 8pm with drink specials on wine, wells & drafts
and Free food (first come first serve)
Saturday—Xtreme Entertainment
Open at 9pm
Sunday Latino Night
Open at 7pm with live Mexican bands
13
Free Limousine Service
Call 242-3581
The SOURCE / February 2013
the breathtaking views and peaceful sounds atop this
Western Colorado landscape.
In its 46th season, Powderhorn’s skiing and snowboarding can be a wonderful experience for first-timers
or mountain regulars. From group to private lessons,
you can learn how to glide down the slopes with the
best of them.
“Here at Powderhorn, we have an extremely easy
and user-friendly mountain,” said Gabrielle Michna,
Marketing Manager. “We are dedicated to delivering
the best guest experience we can, regardless if you’re
beginner or an advanced skier or rider. Powderhorn
welcomes all friends and family of the Grand Valley.”
I have only been skiing a few times, and one of those
times was at Breckenridge. With Powderhorn so close
to where I live now in Grand Junction, it would be
hard to bypass it on I-70. I love to ski, but lately I am
seriously considering switching over to the board to
satisfy my personal preferences. I am certain, whether
I’m on a board or skis, the feeling
I get inside of me when I’m cruising down the mountain can’t be
mimicked by any other activity.
“Boarding truly is an enjoyable
experience; it’s a natural high,”
said Powderhorn riders.
Powderhorn thrives on some of
their promotional bullet points:
powder, views, value, excellence
and challenge.
The resort offers a ski and ride center for ages eight
and up and a children’s learning center for ages 3-7.
Both are designed for affordable and professional
instruction to help children learn how to ski and board.
Once kids get the hang of it, they can move up to skillbased classes.
On top of that, on
the mountain lies
the versatility of
Powderhorn’s terrain park. The different slopes range
among normal colors—green, blue and
black. Green is the
easiest, and black is
the hardest. Set up
with three lifts and
easy accessibility
around the mountain, Powderhorn
can almost promises
there’ll be no lines to
get on the lift.
Also on the mountain, be sure to check out the tubing
hill and the brand new bungee tramp for those looking
for alternative ways to have fun. There are many other
aspects to the resort, too, such as dining, shopping,
wine-tasting and much more.
To explore more of what Powderhorn has to offer,
as well as special upcoming events such as racing and
daily specials, log onto Powderhorn’s Web site at powderhorn.com, and look at Powderhorn’s calendar
The SOURCE
Tunes
By Randy Raisch • randy_raisch@yahoo.com
A Heavier Kind of “Valentine”
So here we are in February. The
groundhog has NOT seen his
shadow, and my resolutions to
exercise more, drink less and live
better have already gone up in
whiskey-fueled flames. The store
aisles are filled with corny greeting cards, heart-shaped boxes filled
with chocolates (of which I always
seem to get the ones loaded with
toothpaste), and other pretentious
fare commemorating quite possibly the stupidest holiday on the
calendar—Valentine’s Day.
Making a big ruckus over loving someone seems a bit contrived.
After all, I love myself EVERY day
(sometimes twice), and surely
don’t need a holiday to remind
me to do so.
If the overkill of pink and lavender decor had any redeeming
value this year, it at least reminded
me that the month was going to
bring one positive thing—the latest
release from England’s Bullet for
my Valentine.
With three commercially successful albums already in their
pockets, the foursome is ready
to unleash Temper Temper to the
masses on February 12. The release
is gathering a ton of hype, as the
band has rocketed to the front of
the metal-core scene over the last
six years with its unique style and
sound.
I refuse to buy into hype the same
way I refuse to buy flowers for my
wife (I’m more of a substance type
of guy); and honestly, I felt the
band’s last album Fever lacked a
bit. While music rags everywhere
have been calling Temper Temper one
of the “most anticipated releases of
the year,” I’m sticking to my triedand-true method of listening first
and praising later.
In fact, BFMV (as the kids like to
call them) are in a precarious state
with me. I loved their swagger
when they first hit the scene, but
felt like they had tapered off a bit
with every release since. The new
album had me (possibly unfairly)
putting the band at the unfortunate “shit-or-get-off-the-pot”
crossroads where so many groups
eventually land. Granted, I’m a
selfish soul who expects greatness at all times from the bands I
listen to, but the reality holds true
that most of the records that come
out these days fall into the category of “average” in a scene that
is becoming diluted a lot faster
than it is becoming great.
Don’t get me wrong, the band
still has plenty going for it. Lead
singer Matt Tuck has one of
the best combinations of clean,
melodic vocals coupled with hairraising screams of anyone in hard
rock and heavy metal these days.
Mix that in with immense skill
from his band mates (Michael
Paget/guitar, Moose Thomas/
drums, and Jason James/bass),
and it’s easy to see why the band
has garnered the attention it has.
So how on earth—with so much
in their favor—could Temper
Temper possibly suck?
The good news is that fortunately it doesn’t suck.
Part of BFMV’s allure over the
years has been the bands ability to
write songs with mainstream rock
sensibility, and serve them with
a dipping sauce of heavy metal.
The combination was genius, as
it made them radio-friendly while
still maintaining some “heavy”
credibility. For many fans, the
band served as a “gateway drug”
of sorts that tempted them away
from such bands as My Chemical
Romance and 30 Seconds to
Mars and brought them closer
to acts such as Iron Maiden,
Metallica and Trivium.
This time around, though, most
of the tracks have the heavy metal
sauce slathered on thick, leaving
little doubt as to what you are
tasting, and it’s the recipe this
author was waiting for. Sure, you
are still going to get a couple of
softer tracks (“POW,” “Dead to
the World”), a weak link in the
chain, the inexplicable sequel
to the band’s hit “Tears Don’t
Fall” off of the 2005 album The
Poison)—but the rest is nothing
short of impressive.
“Leech” and “Riot” (the first
single off the album) are footstomping rock radio anthems
that are sure to sell enough copies
of Temper Temper to pay the bills,
while the rest of the album (most
notably the album’s opening
cut, “Breaking Point”) is simply a
shred-tastic wet dream of monster
guitar hooks, bone-shaking drum
beats, and, dare I say, the perfect
balance of hard rock and heavy
metal. While I doubted the band’s
sincerity in the past, it appears
as if the energy, effort, and focus
have returned, and it couldn’t
have come at a better time.
With Fever Fever, Bullet For My
Valentine has not only pulled
back Cupid’s bow and shot an
arrow straight through the heart
of the metal-core scene, but it’s
left an exit wound big enough to
fit your fist through.
Quiz Answers from page 23
5. Cannabinoid Receptors
6. Pharmaceuticals
7.True
8. has no acceptable medical use
9. True
10. one
11. True
12. Nothing
1. True
2. Aids
Seizures
OCD
Multiple Sclerosis
Tourettes Syndrome
3. True
4. True
Word Scramble
marijuana
metabolites
cannabis
pneumonia
schizophrenia
psychoactive
concentration
MAXED Productions
“Get the most out of your party”
Max Ryan
Owner/Operator
The SOURCE / February 2013
14
Services:
Weddings
Birthday Parties
Graduation
Dances
Anniversaries
970-509-0368
max@gjradio.com
Movies
By Randy Raisch
randy_raisch@yahoo.com
A Haunted House to Die For
If you haven’t figured it out by
now, I’m a huge fan of the horror
movie genre. The good part of being
such a sucker for a scare is that some
of the most interesting films in the
history of cinema have come from
the horror arena. The bad part? For
every masterpiece made, there are
several dozen abortions that insult
your fear with cheesy effects, overplayed stories and laughable acting.
While blood and gore used to rule
the day, the modern horror fan is
usually looking for something a bit
more stimulating. Today’s filmmakers seem to have shifted away from
the slice-and-splatter and are focusing instead on sticking the knife into
your brain and twisting it a bit.
For me, being pinned back in
your seat with terror is much more
fun that being scared off the edge
of it with a cheap shock. When a
movie makes you sleep with the
lights on, gives you vivid night-
mares and makes you think about
it days and weeks after watching
it, it has successfully done its job,
and that’s exactly what you get
with Sinister.
Wr i t e r a n d D i re c t o r S c o t t
Derrickson (Hellraiser: Inferno,
The Messengers) gives us the tale
of Ellison Oswalt (Ethan Hawke),
a true-crime novelist on the downswing trying desperately to find
inspiration for a new book to revive
both his career and reputation. He
moves his family into a new home
where, unbeknownst to them, a
family had been murdered. Oswalt
hopes that, through research of the
case facts, he can help solve the
crime, as well as gather material
for his writing. Shortly after moving in, he discovers a box of Super
8 movies in the attic. The labels
on the films are simple enough—
”Family BBQ,” “Pool Party,” etc.—
but Oswalt soon discovers that
each of these home movies shows
yet another family being murdered.
Through further investigation into
each of these incidents, he discovers that, in every instance, a child
from each family remains missing.
After consulting with the uncooperative police and a local professor (Vincent D’Onofrio), Oswalt
becomes convinced that something
far more evil is responsible.
He digs deeper and deeper
into each case, leaving his sanity
and family’s safety behind a little
bit at a time. The “creepy” factor
runs high, and the forces of evil
at work here will have you hiding under your blanket before the
film is even half over. You won’t
scream out loud much while watch-
Rated R, 110 minutes
Available on DVD and BluRay
February 13
A Psychotic Ride Through Hollywood
If you didn’t catch writer/
director/producer Martin
McDonagh’s In Bruges in 2008,
don’t feel bad. After all, he is more
known for playwriting in his native
Ireland than for movie writing here
in the States, and the film didn’t
exactly light the box office on fire
when it was released.
Despite In Bruges’ lack of success
monetarily, the film created quite
the stir amongst critics and independent film fans. The ultra-violent
dark comedy instantly became a cult
classic, and hipsters everywhere
made McDonagh a “name to know”
in the world of odd, quirky cinema. In fact, I hadn’t heard so much
buzz about a movie after its release
since Quentin Tarantino’s Pulp
Fiction, so it was no surprise when
the anticipation started building
for McDonagh’s second full-length
feature, Seven Psychopaths, early
last year.
In an attempt to avoid a “sophomore slump,” McDonagh again collaborates with Colin Farrell (who
starred in In Bruges). This time
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ensemble encapsulates some of
Hollywood’s weirdest, greatest actors, you couldn’t be more
right—and a surprisingly valid performance from singer/songwriter
Tom Waits only adds to a cast that
plays out unique, memorable roles
throughout.
There are a lot of different things
going on within Seven Psychopaths,
but that happens to be its charm.
The main story involves Farrell,
who is a down-on-his-luck writer
battling writer’s block and alcoholism in completing a screenplay. His
roommate (Rockwell), is eager to
help, but is a little busy with his side
job. That side job is the secondary
story, which has Rockwell teaming
with his partner (Walken) in a scam
that has the pair kidnapping dogs
and returning them to their owners for the reward money. All is fine
until they kidnap the shih tzu of a
half-crazed, all-violent mob boss
(Harrelson). As the mob closes in on
the dog-nappers, the third (and perhaps strangest) part of this movie
surfaces in the form of a masked
murderer known as the Jack of
Diamonds Killer—who is known
for only “murdering mass murderers.” If it all sounds weird and complicated, it is. And that’s even before
Rockwell attempts to “help” Farrell
finish his script by placing a classified ad for psychopaths to come tell
their twisted stories. But McDonagh
finds a way to keep this three-ring
circus moving in complete harmony
with dry laughs, over-the-top violence, and smart, witty dialogue.
Granted, this film is not for everyone. You almost have to have a little
psychopath in you to relate to the
humor. If your idea of a good movie is watching superheroes prance
around in their tights, or watching George Clooney charm every
woman he walks in front of, this
probably isn’t your cup of tea. But if
flicks such as Natural Born Killers,
True Romance and Fargo are more
your style, you won’t want to
miss Seven Psychopaths.
Rated R, 110 minutes
Available January 29
Lions Carnival - Grand Junction
February 16
Parade on Main Street 1pm
Carnival Two Rivers Convention Center 5pm
A Look at Grand Junction Lions
Club
The Grand Junction Lions Club was
chartered in October 1921 and immediately began raising money to help out
various projects and organizations for
the betterment of our community. To
date, the Grand Junction Lions Club
holds its annual Carnival and Parade
(which first started in 1929) as its sole
fundraiser and has given more than
$4,000,000 back to the local community. Get involved, give back to our amazing
city and community and have an amazing, fun time the whole time! Check out
just some of the projects Lions Club
helped create with dedicated members who work each year to make
happen many of the things you see around you.
FEATURED Grand Junction Lions Club projects
The GJ Lions launched the idea of a Rivertrail system in 1987. With
backing from the City and County, a long list of contributors, plus
hundreds of volunteers, the Colorado River Trail system has become
a wonderful recreational asset for our community. I was privileged
to be a part of its origin, and I feel very fulfilled that it’s such a successful project.
- Brian Mahoney, Grand Junction Lions Club Member
The Western Colorado Center for the Arts was built and completed
in 1982 as a result of $100,000 seed money given by the GJ Lions Club.
The recent $350,000 addition to the Art Center has approximately
3,200 square feet of exhibit display area. The Art Center has a much
larger presence for the Grand Valley as a result of our funding.
- Larry Jones, Grand Junction Lions Club Member
Several years ago, Hospice & Palliative Care of Western Colorado
opened the doors of the New Hospice Inpatient Care Center, thanks
to the generosity of the individuals and organizations who contributed so much to the Capital Campaign. The Grand Junction Lions
Club stepped up early to become one of the largest donors to the
campaign. Today, the patients and families, whose lives are so dramatically impacted by this beautiful facility, continually express their
deep gratitude totThe Grand Junction Lions Club and others whose
leadership gifts made the Care Center possible.
- Jacquie Chappell-Reid,
Hospice & Palliative Care of Western Colorado
The Two Rivers Plaza was completed in 1972 as a result of $100,000
seed money from the GJ Lions Club. This project has worked out
tremendously for the City of Grand Junction, providing meeting and
convention facilities for the last 40 years. It has been remodeled and
upgraded within the last 5 years and continues to be an excellent
civic center for Grand Junction. Two Rivers has helped the Lions Club
Carnival because it is a large enough facility for Carnival Night.
- Larry Jones, Grand Junction Lions Club Member
Continued on page 21
15
The SOURCE / February 2013
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NEVER ENDS...
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$2 Domestic Bottles • $2 Drinks • $2 Shots
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@
around, though, Farrell is a small
cog in the massive wheel of A-list
actors, including Christopher
Walken, Woody Harrelson and
Sam Rockwell. If you think that
The SOURCE
A Day at the
ing Sinister (although there are a
few jolting moments), but you will
feel your skin crawling. The tension
comes in the subtleties of darkness,
perfectly timed suspense and a certain reality to it all that keeps you
watching even when you want to
look away.
Derrickson crafted—through
great acting by Hawke and excellent storytelling—perhaps the best
horror flick of 2012, and one any fan
of these types of movies will long
remember. When it’s all said and
done, Sinister has not only restored
my faith in modern horror cinema,
but it has upped the ante for writers
and directors moving forward.
The SOURCE
How do I get a stretching benefit from WBV?
WBV will give you a significant
increase in muscle length just from
standing on the platform. It is advisable to hold a regular muscle
stretch position to increase the
stretching effect.
Should I alternate muscle
groups I am exercising on the machine?
It is entirely up to you. However,
it is sensible to alternate between
upper body, lower body and abdominal exercises to allow each
group a rest in between.
Should I avoid using Vibration
with bare feet?
To ensure correct transfer of vibrations to the body, there should
be as little friction as possible between your body and the Vibration Platform. This is most easily
achieved while wearing flexiblesoled shoes (while these do not
have to be training shoes, they are
recommended). However, if you
would like to train barefoot or perform exercises where other parts
of the body are in contact with the
machine, we suggest using a rubber mat or towel for added comfort.
Is it normal for my legs to itch
during and after training?
Yes. Itching may occur while using WBV - this is completely normal.
Will I sweat during the Vibration workout?
Yes. Any exercise or physical
activity will cause an increase in
body temperature and metabolism. This in turn will cause you to
perspire so you will sweat during
your Vibration workout.
Can I use the machine while
pregnant?
We do not recommend WBV be
used during pregnancy. However
it is a great way to get back into
shape post-partum.
Can I use the machine if I’ve recently had surgery?
We recommend at least 6 weeks
post surgery before using your
Vibration machine. Vibration has
been used successfully for many
rehab patients with supervision
from a Health Care Professional.
Please consult your doctor first.
Is WBV like a treadmill?
No, Oscillating Vibration is a
gentle workout that is not hard
on your joints. Instead of walking,
you simply stand or perform simple exercises on a moveable vibrat-
ing plate that encourages muscle
contractions using your body’s
own weight.
Can I use it every day?
It is advisable to take at least a
day or two off a week, just to let
your muscles recover from the
workouts. Again, this would depend on the intensity and duration
of your workouts, and your individual health.
What are the contraindications?
While T-Zone Vibration is very
safe, there are some people who
should not use vibration. If you:
Have active cancer
Have an active herniated disc
Have a pacemaker or other implants
Have had recent surgery
Have serious cardiac disease
Or if you are pregnant (or think
you might be)
This list is not exhaustive and
if you have any health conditions
whatsoever, please discuss with
your local studio along with your
health care provider.
How do I use the programs?
The benefits of whole body vibration can often be magnified by
varying the frequency and duration during your 10-minute work-
out. The programs change the frequency (or speed) for you, making
this variation easy. Instead of keeping the speed the same throughout
your workout, try the same routine
you are currently doing but with
one of the programs that come
with your machine, and see how
you feel.
What speed do I use?
This very much depends on
your goals and where you are
comfortable. If your feet are very
close together, the intensity is very
low. As you spread your feet wider
apart the intensity becomes stronger. Do not think of controlling the
intensity by the speed - the intensity is controlled by how far you
feet are from each other. A good
rule of thumb is to use the lower
speeds for strength training, and
the higher speeds for relaxation
and massage. The exact number is
up to you.
How do I get a stretching benefit from WBV?
WBV will give you a significant
increase in muscle length just from
standing on the platform. It is advisable to hold a regular muscle
stretch position to increase the
stretching effect.
Should I alternate muscle
groups I am exercising on the machine?
It is entirely up to you. However,
it is sensible to alternate between
upper body, lower body and abdominal exercises to allow each
group a rest in between.
Will I sweat during the Vibration workout?
Yes. Any exercise or physical
activity will cause an increase in
body temperature and metabolism. This in turn will cause you to
perspire so you will sweat during
your Vibration workout.
Why don’t you sell online?
T-Zone Vibration does not sell
online, and we never will. There is
a lot of education that goes along
with a vibration machine in order
to know you are using it properly
and getting the greatest benefits
from it. We make sure our representatives are very well trained
with the latest information, and
highly prefer face-to-face support
for any questions. As well, there
are some contraindications and we
have to be sure that the machine is
being used safely. Ongoing support is part of what you buy when
you buy T-Zone Vibration.
T-Zone Vibration Continued on page 19
Whole Body Vibration Has Shown,
Through Extensive Worldwide Research,
To Have Far Reaching Health Benefits…
WITH WHOLE BODY VIBRATION
You Can Transform Your Health And
Fitness In Just A Few Minutes A Day…
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
The SOURCE / February 2013
16
Assist In Weight Loss
Increase Muscle Strength
Tone And Firm Muscles
Improve Flexibility
Increase Metabolism
Decrease Cellulite Visibility
Improve Coordination
Increased Energy
Massage Muscles
Low Impact - Kind To Joints
Great for die hard golfers…
(and other sports people)
Affordable & Effective
To Schedule Your
FREE Demonstration
Call 970-234-4657
www.t-zonevibration.com
Send in your completed puzzle & be eligible for our raffle
give away for a FREE 1 Hour Massage compliments of
Rimrock Chiropractic, A Creating Wellness Center. To
be registered you must complete the form below.
Proud to be Serving
Western Colorado
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80’s Songs
Find and circle all of the 1980’s song titles that are hidden in the grid.
The remaining letters spell the title of a U2 song.
ABRACADABRA
ALLENTOWN
ALONE
AMANDA
ANGEL
BATDANCE
BILLIE JEAN
CARS
CELEBRATION
CHERISH
COME DANCING
CONGA
COOL NIGHT
CRYING
DANGER ZONE
DESIRE DRIVE
FAITH
FIRE LAKE
FOOTLOOSE
FUNKY TOWN
HEARTLIGHT
HELLO
HIM
HOLD ON
JEOPARDY
JESSE
JUMP
KEY LARGO
KISS
KYRIE
LADY
LEGS
LONGER
LOVE BITES
LOVE SHACK
LUKA
MAGIC
MANEATER
MANIAC
MICKEY
MR. ROBOTO
NASTY
NIGHTSHIFT
OH SHERRIE
PHYSICAL
PRIVATE EYES RAPTURE
ROSANNA
SARA
SLEDGEHAMMER
SMALL TOWN
SUDDENLY
SWEET DREAMS
TAINTED LOVE
TIME
UPTOWN GIRL
URGENT
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The SOURCE / February 2013
FREE Estimates • Insured
17
The SOURCE
7 ) W h a t t e a m d i d Wi l t
Chamberlain finish his NBA career
with?
a) Philadelphia 76ers
b) Dallas Mavericks
c) Chicago Bulls
d) Los Angeles Lakers
2) What NBA player scored 100
points on March 2, 1962?
a) Bill Russell
b) Wilt Chamberlain
c) Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
d) Elgin Baylor
3) What player won All-Star
Game MVP, NBA MVP, and NBA
Finals MVP awards in 2000?
a) Michael Jordan
b) Kobe Bryant
c) Shaquille O’Neal
d) Tim Duncan
4) What new kind of shot did Joe
Fulks score a record 63 points with
in one game in 1949?
a) Jump shot
b) Three-point shot
c) Free throw
d) Hook shot
1) What team won the very first
NBA game?
a) Philadelphia Warriors
b) New York Knicks
c) Toronto Huskies
d) Chicago Stags
5) What NBA player retired unexpectedly on November 7, 1991?
a) Michael Jordan
b) Larry Bird
c) Magic Johnson
d) Moses Malone
6) Who scored the first three-point
basket in NBA history?
a) Wes Unseld
b) Gene Stump
c) Chris Ford
d) Larry Bird
8) Who won the Nestle Crunch
Slam Dunk Contest on February 6,
1988?
a) Michael Jordan
b) Dominique Wilkins
c) Spud Webb
d) Magic Johnson
9) Who sank a 60-foot shot on
April 29, 1970?
a) Wilt Chamberlain
b) Jerry West
c) Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
d) Willis Reed
10) Who was the first Chinese
player to play in an NBA game?
a) Yao Ming
b) Hai Rui
c) Wang Zhizhi
d) Sen Kwong
11) Who was the number 1 draft
pick in the 2003 NBA draft?
a) Dwight Howard
b) Lebron James
c) Carmelo Anthony
d) Amare Stoudemire
12) How many active players are
among the Top 50 all-time scorers
in the NBA?
a) 4
b) 6
c) 8
d) 5
Complete this puzzle & qualify for our puzzle contest. See page 17
SKI • Snowboard • SKI • Snowboard
Sunlight
Event Schedule
February
Ski Spree
February 9-10, 2013
Fireworks, Chili Cook-off, Need4-Speed Competition, Rail Jam,
Live Music,and Fun for the whole
family! Come enjoy all the festivities throughout the weekend!
18
Special Olympics
February 22, 2013
er who lost his life to Melanoma
Skin Cancer. You can get your skin
checked for free on this day. Come
donate and win cool prizes.
Proceeds go to the Melanoma
Research Foundation.
Crystal River Spas
Spring Thing
March 23-24, 2013
It’s sunny and time to celebrate
winter with a growing rail jam
sponsored by Crystal River Spas.
Jump over a hot tub with hot
chicks in it while showing off your
steezy skills!
Of course, there’s always an op-
The SOURCE / February 2013
Town Race Series
Feb. 17, Mar. 3, 2013
A 4-week series where teams
can compete against other localbusinesses and groups to win awesome prizes!
March
Defiance Challenge
March 1, 2013
How many laps can you ski or
snowboard in 10 hours? Lifts begin running at 8:00pm and stop at
5:00pm. This is a true test of your
legs and your endurance!
Melanoma Awareness Day
March 2, 2013
Skin Cancer isn’t anything to
mess around with. We honor Brad
Lanpher, a long time Sunlight ski-
portunity to win great prizes!
Beach Party Pond Skim Spectacular (Closing Day)
March 31, 2013
- A beach party at the base of a
ski resort! Wear your best costume
as you brave skimming across the
pond! For the fainter of heart, enjoy live music and drinks!
13) LeBron James was Rookie of
the Year in 2004 and Chris Paul won
the award in 2006. Which player was
the Rookie of the Year in 2005?
a) Ben Gordon
b) Dwight Howard
c) Jameer Nelson
d) Emeka Okafor
14) During a five-minute overtime period, what is the total number of timeouts allowed (both teams
combined)?
a) 4
b) 6
c) 3
d) 2
e) 5
15) Which player led the NBA in
scoring in the 1980s?
a) Larry Bird
b) Alex English
c) Julius Erving
d) George Gervin
e) Magic Johnson
16) Which player holds the NBA
record for most assists in a game?
a) John Stockton
b) Magic Johnson
c) Scott Skiles
d) Jason Kidd
17) Which player holds the NBA
record for most three-point field
goals made in a season?
a) Ray Allen
b) Reggie Miller
c) Peja Stojakovic
d) Dennis Scott
18) Pat Riley went 18 years
between titles (1988 to 2006), the
longest such streak in NBA history.
Which coach had the longest such
stretch before Riley?
a) Bill Fitch
b) Alex Hannum
c) K.C. Jones
d) Jack Ramsay
e) Bill Sharman
19) Which of the following players has never been selected to play
in an NBA All-Star Game?
a) Mike Bibby
b) Dale Davis
c) Kenyon Martin
d) Juwan Howard
e) Wally Szczerbiak
20) Which is the only player to
win Rookie of the Year and Sixth
Man award during his career?
a) Bob McAdoo
b) Kevin McHale
c) Mike Miller
d) Regie Miller
e) Magic Johnson
21) Kobe Bryant nickname in the
NBA is________.
a) The Assassin
b) The Killer
c) The Black Mamba
d) Agent Zero
22) Who is the NBA player who
called himself Agent Zero?
a) Carmelo Anthony
b) Smush Parker
c) Gilbert Arenas
d) Shawn Marion
e) Amare Stoudomire
23) Sports analys called Shawn
Marion of Phoenix Suns a nickname_____________.
a) The high leaper
b) The Matrix
c) Jumping jack
d) Assassin
http://www.ex-designz.net
Easy Ways to Improve Your Golf Game
Cast aside any stereotypes. Golf isn’t just for retired
people: It’s a sport played by young and old alike.
Whether you are picking up a club for the first time
or have been playing golf for years, a few tips on how
to improve your game can never hurt. Here is just a
sampling of the thousands of tried-and-true ways that
you can better your golf game.
1. Use clubs that are comfortable. If you are just
starting out, don’t rush out and spend money on a
brand-new set. Borrow from a friend or family member so you can test out what clubs feel best to you.
Then you can buy your own new or used set at a place
like a golf pro shop.
2. Warming up prevents injuries, improves flexibility and helps you swing better. Arrive at least 30 minutes before you tee off to have enough time to warm
up. Start with a brisk walk, which can be as short as
the distance from the clubhouse to the driving range.
Just make sure that you raise your heart rate and body
temperature. Next, stretch out with exercises like arm
circles, squats, or toe touches. Then, give your muscles
a brief period to prepare to play. You can chip, pitch,
wedge or take some putts at half speed and gradually
increase until you reach full speed.
3. Take lessons — no matter how long you have
been playing. Even professional golfer Tiger Woods
still takes them! Learning the proper fundamental
techniques for swinging and standing translates into
on-the-course success. If you are a beginner, don’t
even go near a golf course unless you have taken a
lesson as well as practiced at a driving range a few
times.
4. Stay hydrated and well fed before and during
your game. Drink plenty of water before you hit the
green as well as at every hole. Dehydration causes fatigue, energy loss and lack of focus and concentration,
all of which can impact your performance. It’s also important to properly feed your body with foods full of
proteins and carbohydrates, such as eggs or oatmeal
for breakfast and a turkey sandwich on whole-wheat
bread for lunch. And snack on fruit and nutrition bars
while you play to maintain your energy level.
5. Don’t swing too quickly. You want to swing powerfully, but rhythmically. To maintain a rhythm, pause
slightly at the tip of your swing before beginning the
downswing.
6. Hit the ball with our whole body, including the
legs and your torso, to get a consistent and powerful
shot. If you hit it with just your arms and your wrists,
you won’t get as powerful a shot.
7. Don’t let the wind interfere with how you take
your swing. The saying goes, “Swing with ease into
the breeze.” Think of this phrase so you don’t overswing into the wind.
8. Swing through the ball, not at it. To practice this
technique, put a tee a few inches in front of the ball
you will hit. Try to hit the ball and then the tee to train
you to swing through the ball.
9. Practice, practice, practice. As much as you hate
to hear it, that’s the only way to get better!
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The SOURCE
Now that’s
Funny!
Valentine’s Day Humor
touch it, then you have to eat it. Do
you understand?”
“Oh, yes,” he said, nodding his
Read this most hilarious and exhaustive collection of Valentine’s head. Suddenly his little hand patDay Humor for a hearty laugh. ted the tops of all the pieces of canYou may also shares these Valen- dy. “Now I can eat them all.”
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
tine’s Day Jokes with your beloved
A young woman was taking
and watch him or her roll with
an
afternoon nap. After she woke
laughter!
up,
she told her husband, “I just
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
A little boy asked his father, dreamed that you gave me a pearl
“Daddy, how much does it cost to necklace for Valentine’s day. What
do you think it means?”
get married?”
“You’ll know tonight,” he said.
And the father replied, “I don’t
That evening, the man came
There’s
like the
know,
son, no
I’mplace
still paying
for it.”
home
with a small package and
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
Grand
Valley.
gave it to his wife. Delighted, she
Candy
Love
And, like you, we’re proud to call it
openedno
it--only
find athe
book enplaceto like
Four-year-old
loved
candyThere’s
home.
Thank youSam
for your
business
titled
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meaning
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dreams”.
almost as much as his mom SallyGrand Valley.
and your trust. We look forward to
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
did. He and Daddy had given her
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A guy
walks
into
a postto
office
you,
we’re
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call one
it
a beautiful heart-shaped box ofAnd, like
day to see a middle-aged, balding
chocolates for Valentine’s Day. Ahome.
Thank
you
for
your
business
few days later Sam was eyeing it, man standing at the counter meand your trust. We look forward to
wishing to have a piece of it. As he thodically placing “Love” stamps
onmore
bright
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with
successful
years together.
reached out to touch one of the bigmany
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all
over
them.
He
then
takes
pieces, Sally said to him, “If you
And,
we’re proud to call it home.
627 24 1/2
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ThankCO
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Grand Junction,
81505
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look
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to many more successful years together.
http://www.jerrymartinezinsurance.com
Se habla español
© 2011
002129 – Rev. 6/11
Jerry Martinez Insurance Agency
627 24 1/2 Road Unit A
Grand Junction, CO 81505
Bus: (970) 241-2445
http://www.jerrymartinezinsurance.com
Bankruptcy
Drew Moore, Esq.
American Family Mutual Insurance Company and its Subsidiaries
American Family Insurance Company
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300 Main Street, Suite 103 • Grand Junction
970-256-9017
DANCE FUSION at
Ballet
Hip Hop • Jazz
Lyrical
&
Skill Classes
The SOURCE / February 2013
Fun
&
Energetic
Envioronment
Greenhorn skis Powderhorn
Continued from page 13
to the top of the hill, so there’s never any hiking involved! The Bungee
Tramp is new this season, can have up to two people at a time, and three
jumping sessions per ticket purchase.
Whether you have come to Powderhorn to ski and ride, or you’ve never
skied a day in your life, Powderhorn’s Tubing Hill and Bungee Tramp are
two great ways to spend part of your day!
The Tubing Hill has become very popular, so to guarantee a spot for
your day, make a reservation ahead of time!
For reservations, please contact the Ticket Office at 970-268-5700 ext.
2100. A Credit Card will need to be charged at the time of reservation.
Want To Send Your Youth (17 and Under) Up To Powderhorn’s Tubing
Hill or Bungee Tramp With A Friend?
Powderhorn requires a Tubing Hill and Bungee Tramp Liability Form
for everyone who wants to spend some time on the hill or trampoline.
10 Reasons To Visit Powderhorn
1. Powder.
Powderhorn averages over 250 inches of perfect powder each season.
2. Views.
Powderhorn is nestled into the side of the Grand Mesa, the world’s
largest flat-topped mountain. From high alpine forests to the red-rock
desert, the views take it all in.
3. Value.
Lift tickets at Powderhorn are close to one-half of other Colorado
resorts. With 1,600 acres and 1,600 vertical feet, who needs high prices?
4. Excellence.
The Powderhorn Ski & Ride Center offers lessons, and programs,
for all abilities and ages, from age 3 and up. Learn from some of the
best PSIA/AASI Pros in Colorado.
5. Challenge.
Powderhorn has some of the best glade skiing in Colorado. Find an
untracked, untouched stash in our forests.
Experienced
Instructors
20
His curiosity getting the better
of him, he goes up to the balding
man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending
out one thousand Valentine cards
signed, ‘Guess who?’”
“But why?” asks the man.
“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man
replies.
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
A smart, handsome and sexy
young man dressed in the most sophisticated manner walked into the
bar. He noticed a woman staring
at him without blinking her eyes
with an open mouth. Flattered, he
approached the woman and said
in his sexiest deep voice - “I’ll do
anything you wish, beautiful lady,
for just $20 but on one condition.”
The woman was trapped in a moment and asked as if in a trance
- “What’s your condition?” The
young man replied, “Tell me your
wish in just three words.” After a
long pause, woman opened her
purse, counted the money and
handed it to the man along with
her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered,
“Clean my house.”
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
A couple drove down a country
road for several miles, not saying
a word. An earlier discussion had
led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of
mules, goats and pigs, the husband
asked sarcastically, “Relatives of
yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied,
“in-laws.”
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
A very shy guy goes into a pub
on Valentine’s Day night and sees
a beautiful woman at the bar. After
a long struggle with his shyness,
he finally managed to walk over
to her and asked her politely, “Um,
would you mind if I give you company?” She made a furious face
and yelled at the top of her lungs,
“How dare you asked me to sleep
with you tonight?” Everyone in the
pub started staring at the man who
was completely embarrassed. After a few minutes, woman walked
over to him and apologized - “You
see I am a student of psychology
and studying how people respond
to embarrassing situations. I am
sorry but I was just doing my experiment!” The young man suddenly gave a loud yell, “What do
you mean $200?”
SPAM
There’s
no place
Jerry Martinez Insurance
Agency like the Grand Valley
American Family Mutual Insurance Company and its Subsidiaries
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Home Office – Madison, WI 53783
out a perfume bottle and starts
spraying scent all over them.
6. Big Air.
Powderhorn continues to expand and improve its terrain parks.
Jumps and park features are found across the mountain, with something for every style of rider.
For kids of
all ages
First Class FREE
Call for schedule
&
More Information
609 25 Road
970-245-3610
7. No Lift Lines.
Shhh…It’s a local secret. You’ll never wait in line more than a few
minutes at Powderhorn. Even on a busy weekend or holiday, the
mountain is easy to get around.
8. Warm Beds.
From comfortable, modern condos to a simple, basic room, slopeside
lodging and discount tickets are available at Powderhorn. For something unique, stay in luxury in nearby Palisade and combine your ski
trip with wine tasting.
9. Free Parking.
Yes, you read that right: free parking. And it’s close in, with no shuttle
or long-distance schlep required.
10. Shopping.
The Alpine Trader in the base lodge has everything you might need,
or simply desire, for your ski day or vacation. Other amenities in the
base lodge include the Sunset Grille, full service ski and board rentals
and meeting space.
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
After a quarrel, a wife said to her
husband, “You know, I was a fool
when I married you.” And the husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was
in love and didn’t notice it.”
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
A couple came upon a wishing
well. The wife leaned over, made
a wish and threw in a penny. The
husband decided to make a wish,
too but he leaned over too much,
fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, “It really
works!”
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
If you want your wife to listen
and pay strict attention to every
word you say, talk in your sleep.
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
When a man opens the door of
his car for his wife, you can be sure
of one thing: either the car is new
or the wife.
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s
an angel!” Second Guy: “You’re
lucky, mine’s still alive.”
Mountain Characteristics
Base Elevation: 8,200 ft
Summit Elevation:
9,850 ft
Vertical Drop: 1,650 ft
Permitted Acres: 1,600
(600 groomed)
Trails: 63
Terrain Parks: 3
Longest Trail:
Tenderfoot/Lower Dude
at 1.8 miles
Runs
20% Beginner
50% Intermediate
30% Advanced/Expert
Snow and Snowmaking
Average Snowfall:
250 inches
Snowmaking: 21 acres
Lifts: 5
1 Quad
2 Doubles
1 Surface
1 Magic Carpet
Hours of Operation
Lift Ticket Office 8:30am - 3pm
Ski School Desk 8:30am - 2pm
Childern’s
Learning Center 8:30am - 3:30pm
Alpine Trader 8am - 4:30pm
Sunset Grille 8am - 6pm
Lifts 9am - 4pm
The SOURCE
Service Directory
Affordable Monthly Advertising • 970-256-9288 #1
Exercise Equipment
I have a variety of exercise equipment machines. 970-257-1982
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The
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Samsara—In the heart of the
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Triple first
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partyLibrarty
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Continued from page 15
food with keynote speaker Bill and a sweeping portrait of the “Interviews, 50 Cents.” With
McKibben and the free Gallery incomparably vast and diverse Boehme and Chadwick, in perWhowhich
are the
Grandsixteen
Junction
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features
art-Lions?
American landscape. Ken Burns son.
We
are
always
looking
to
welcome
prospective
ists at eight galleries.
will
be there inmembers
person. who
are“We
high
energy,
and
looking
to be actively involved in working to
have
a big
show
this year
better their
community. Interested
across
the board,”
said Festival in becoming a new member of
the Grand
Junction
Lions Club?
Director
David
Holbrooke.
“The Here’s all you have to do. First,
you will want
to come andwith
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symposium
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This will
give
you aexperts.
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cover
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mostthe
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for
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people,
tory.
Onmembership
opening night
we200 members
Our
is alone
roughly
ranging
in age from
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go
from
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specials,in
senior
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their
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Home Improvement
non-profit &
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Service
$40 (was$45)
Landscape Design
outstanding
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discounts.
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There
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Installation of pads *(labor only, cost of pads are addityional.)
fast
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205 8th Street Glenwood
The SOURCE / February 2013
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21
The SOURCE
Tattoo & Piercing Source
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Scrutinize The Work You don’t have to be an artist to be
about what they are doing. Some get lucky and walk away
able
to tell quality artistry from a bad job. Whether you get
with a great tattoo, and some don’t. Here are some things to
When You Really,
a
chance
to view pictures
inNeed
an artist’s
portfolio, or see a
Really
to get Poked!
help you along in making your decision, and to make sure
live example, really look closely at the work. It’s easy to be
that you get a tattoo you are going to be proud of.
Don’t get caught up in this trap!
243-8561
Take Your Time I know that getting a new tattoo is excit- swayed by pretty pictures.
Look
closely
at
the
lines.
They
should be smooth, not jumpy
2500
North Ave Ste #2 • Grand Junction
ing, and when you finally decide this is what you want, it is
hard to wait. But this is not something to be rushed into. If or jagged or shaky. Colors should be bold and filled in comyou really want a tattoo that you are going to be happy with, pletely with no blank areas. Circles should look like circles,
its going to take some time. So, relax, and don’t be in a rush not ovals. Be objective!
Listen To Your Friends Your friends can be a great resource
to get inked. Issue Dates
to
you. If they have had a good experience, they will probably
Visit Several Studios Shop around! I’m sure if you were
recommend
their artist. And if they’ve had a bad experience,
January
2013
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about to make a major purchase, like a car, you wouldn’t
February 2013 Pandora
March 2013 _______________
April 2013 ________________
May 2013 _________________
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I’m sure they’ll warn you not to make the same mistake! Ask
around. If you’re outgoing, and you see someone walking
down the street with a great tattoo, don’t be afraid to ask them
where they got it! Most of us love to talk about our tattoos.
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411 1/2 Main Street
Grand Junction, CO 81501
Contact Melaine Montano
970-216-2002
June 2013 ________________
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* $50 Design fee (both ads)
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Numbing Available • Walk-Ins Welcome • Female Piercer
The SOURCE / February 2013
Trained • Certified • Experienced
Wildest Jewelry & Pipe Selection In Town
When You Really, Really Need to get Poked!
Hours:
Monday-Saturday • 9am-6pm
1150 North 25th Street - Unit A
243-8561
Emergency/Cell # 234-8628 (Jen)
By Sharlene Woodruff
COLORADO – Here we are on
the other side of legalization, as
the MMJ industry looks absolutely
forward to the future. Since 2010,
when that heavy hand of justice
was laid down and 77 pages of
regulations were implemented, a
lot has changed. I must admit, I
was skeptical about the passage
of Amendment 64, yet it passed
overwhelmingly. As people say in
casual conversation, Colorado, as
well as Washington, is on the map.
In previous articles, I spoke about
how heavily regulated the Colorado
cannabis industry is, compared to
the other 18 states where MMJ is
legal. Yet Colorado did what only a
pioneer state can do—it created and
it maintains a viable and sustainable
industry from in-house resources.
Colorado has demonstrated to
the entire country just how the MMJ
business should be run. A business
model for success was the creation
of medical marijuana dispensaries
legally accessible to medical marijuana patients who held a red card.
In the beginning, as with any new
Valuable
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into the game of trying to figure out will also save nearly $12 million
how to exploit the marijuana mar- from the reduction of drug cases
ket. To date, there exist over 400 dis- prosecuted throughout the state.
The potential for profits are
pensaries in Denver alone—that’s
double the number of Starbucks. As through the roof in a marijuana marusual, I did some research to back ketplace based here in Colorado.
up the facts on just how much profit This only energizes and reinforces
Colorado medical marijuana dis- the pioneer spirit and culture of this
pensaries and related businesses great state. So go on going green,
Colorado, and show the nation how
make, on average.
After the passage of Amendment it should be done.
64, a report on the industry finds that
Please Visit:
h t t p : / / w w w. c o l o r a d o .
Colorado is slated to generate close
to $60 million in tax revenue within g o v / c s / S a t e l l i t e / R e v - M M J /
a year after legalization. After five CBON/1251592984795
Conveniently
located,
yet hidden
from the public eye.
http://www.ryot.org/coloradosyears of strategic
business planning,
that amount can reach $100 million new-growth-industry-marijuafor the state. This figure includes na/63614
http://www.huffingtonpost.
$8.7 million in new state sales tax
revenue and $14.5 million in new com/2012/08/16/legalized-mariDiscreet
professional
assistance
in getting an ID card
juana-could_n_1791448.html
local
sales tax revenue. Colorado
MMJ—A lot has changed!
ELK MOUNTAIN
Medical Marijuana Dispensary
MEDICATING PATIENTS WISHING TO REMAIN INVISIBLE
industry, there were roadblocks and
barriers to cross. But in Colorado
there was also a vision of what a
legitimate cannabis industry had
the potential to become. And in
2013, the Rocky Mountain state has
arrived on the other side of medical
marijuana to full legalization.
AUTHORIZED
(1.) More than 20 prescription
medicines containing marijuana
were sold in the US until 1942.
True
False
(7.) Doctors that prescribe medical marijuana treatment do not
recommend smoking it.
True
False
(2.) Medical marijuana
Expirescalms
4-7-10
patients with_______.
[ multiple choice ]
Tourettes Syndrome
Multiple Sclerosis
OCD
Seizures
Aids
(8.) In 1972 the US Congress
placed marijuana in Schedule 1
of the Controlled Substances Act
primarily because .
claimed to be highly addictive
has no acceptable medical use
makes people happy
Mexican immigrants used it
(3.) Medical marijuana helps prevent Alzheimer’s.
True
False
(9.) Jack Herer’s book “The Emporer wears no clothes” is an excellent resource for the truth about
marijuana.
True
False
RETAILER
WE NEED YOU
(4.) Prohibitionists renamed
marihuana, or “maraguanquo”, to
marijuana in the 1930’s.
True
False
(5.) THC acts upon these specific
areas of the brain.
Cannabis Sativanoids
Endorphin Receptors
Cannabinoid Receptors
The SOURCE
Alternative Health & Wellness Source
The possibility of various types
of cannabis-related companies can
now exist and thrive alongside the
Colorado dispensary model. And
the vision has manifested in many
productive and profitable ways.
Throughout the business world,
venture capitalists have even gotten
(10.) Marinol ( the pharmaceutical version of marijuana ) contains about how many of the 30+
cannabinoids found in the plant
form?
one
1-5
15-25
28
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Users of this type of drug kill
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(12.) The premise that medical
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___ ___ ___ ___
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auanaijrm
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(11.) Marinol is known to cause
anxiety attacks in some patients.
True
False
Answers Page 14
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Answers page 14 ad in or mention
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alpinewellness@hotmail.com
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23
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The SOURCE
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