PUA Field Guide - ITSO Music Company

The Pick-Up Artist's
Field Guide
Mastering the Art of Pick-Up and Seduction
THIS EDITION 2011
Written and Compiled by Decibel
PUAFieldGuide.com
Preface
As an aspiring pick-up artist (PUA), I have searched for a definitive guide to
pick-up. I came across the Venusian Arts based on the Mystery Method,
neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and Ross Jeffries, RSD, David De
Angelo and cocky/funny among many other techniques scattered on the
internet and in bookstores. Though everything we needed to learn was
dispersed among countless DVDs, books and ebooks, what we wanted
was one source that we could turn to in the field as a comprehensive guide.
This book is intended to be a reference. You should read it through and
then come back later as needed. As the pickup arts and sciences evolve, I
intend for this book to keep pace.
In your travels, you may try on various methods and philosophies of pickup, including M3, RSD, Mehow or just simple direct. Take everything you
learn with a grain of salt, even concepts considered by the community to be
dogma. Field test it all, until you figure out what works best for you as an
artist. My test of a great PUA is not how much tail he can get, but how far
he has evolved as a person and how willingly he adapts to what the field
teaches him.
For those aspiring to become PUAs, I hope this ebook will help you reach
down inside the AFC (Average Frustrated Chump) and find him. For those
who consider themselves already competent in the seduction arts, I hope
this book will be a good manual for you to employ while teaching others.
But wherever you find yourself in the Game, I hope you'll remember the
first rule: Leave her better off than when you found her.
Now plow on!!
dB
P.S. I'm here to help. Go to my website and contact me:
PUAFieldGuide.com. Check back for updated versions of the Guide, since
it will be constantly evolving and improving. Because this community has
helped me out so much, I'm always looking for ways to give back. Check
out my other ebooks, Introductory Pick-Up, Text Game Primer and Inner
Game Primer.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Semantics and Practical Points
Chapter 2
Communication and Subcommunication
Chapter 3
Body Language
Chapter 4
The Mystery Method (M3 Model)
Chapter 5
Direct Approach
Chapter 6
Identity, State and Frame
Chapter 7
Prizability
Chapter 8
Openers, Routines, Gambits and BOBs
Chapter 9
Chick Crack
Chapter 10
Kino
Chapter 11
Sex and the Female Orgasm
Chapter 12
Props
Chapter 13
AMOGs, Mixed Sets and Boyfriends
Chapter 14
Phone and Text Game
Chapter 15
Internet Game
Chapter 16
Day 2
Chapter 17
Beyond Day 2: The mLTR/FB
Chapter 18
Same Night Lays
Chapter 19
Inner Game
Chapter 20
Attire
Chapter 21
Bibliography and Suggested Readings
Appendix 1
A Crash Course to Learning Pick Up
Appendix 2
Helping Women Get Out of Their Own Way
Appendix 3
On Being Funny
Appendix 4
Decibel's Day 1 Model
Appendix 5
The dB Archives
Appendix 6
BangBang's Guide to Being a Better Lover
Appendix 7
The Blueprint, by RSD
- DISCLAIMER Pick-up is Like the Stock Market
This is a life-long investment. You can't get too discouraged by individual
sets or flakes. Look at your overall improvement over months and years,
and make corrections where needed. Are you a better person, man and
seducer compared to a year ago? It becomes easy to get bummed out
when a good set mysteriously flakes. Or to think you're a master PUA
because you sleep with 3 girls in a week.
None of that matters.
What matters is the overall progress you make (or don't make). The stock
market has its ups and downs, but you make small adjustments and ride it
out. You don't pull all your money out because the market has a bad
day...though sometimes the temptation exists.
Always focus on the process, not the outcome. Never prove...always
improve. The road to mastery will be largely a bunch of plateaus, but that is
where much of your progress will occur. Have blind faith that the process
will work, but realize too that it never ends. As Sinn says, 'There is no finish
line.'
Chapter One
Semantics and Practical Points
The field of pick-up is full of terminology with which you will need to
familiarize yourself. Rather than create a new glossary, consult The Game
by Neil Strauss, and here.
The HB Rating System
The term HB has been used to stand for Hot Babe or Honey Bunny.
Women are rated according to appearance from 1-10, where HB’s can be
6 or higher, and 1-5 are considered ugs (for ugly). A subset would be the
fugly, who is a so woman so undesirable, she's fucking ugly. The opposite
extreme is the SHB, or Super Hot Babe, who is off the charts magnificent.
There is legitimacy to the ug-10 scale. A 10 has a more profound
psychological impact on a man than an ug; her beauty intimidates and
inhibits him from approaching. This is an undeniable reaction which the
PUA must try even harder to overcome as he rids himself of approach
anxiety (AA). Why is this? Because a 10 has extremely high replicative
value. She has all the primitive traits of high value for the man...facial
symmetry, large breasts, desirable hip-to-waist ratio. Therefore, being of
very high value, she is the best candidate for reproduction, and the most
likely to activate his AA. The PUA should not feel shallow that he selects a
woman of great beauty as his target; it is natural since she has great value
on a very primitive value, much like a man demonstrating alpha
characteristics is highly attractive to a woman.
Some have argued that this number system is not an accurate or fair
approach to rating women. The reason for its use is that in the field all a
PUA has to go on when targeting a woman is her appearance. The
assumption is made that the more physically attractive a woman is, the
more she has been approached by men, and thus the more jaded she will
be. Hence, picking up a 10 may for example require more negs than
picking up a 7.
It should be noted however that not all 10s see themselves as 10s, and not
all 6s see themselves as 6s. Many beautiful women have issues of selfesteem, and many less attractive women consider themselves far more
attractive than we would assume. Therefore once a PUA has opened an
HB, he must get a sense of her self-worth and calibrate his approach
accordingly. You may open a 10 with a neg, only to find she has low selfesteem, at which point you may decide to reduce or eliminate the use of
negs from your pick-up so that her ego isn’t further crushed.
The 1-10 scale does not take into consideration other aspects of a woman
such as personality, humor, kindness or intelligence. Its purpose therefore
is merely in summarizing a woman’s appearance on first approach, and
may have little impact on your ultimate attraction to her.
Mystery has described a stoplight system: red for men and women you
don’t consider attractive, yellow for attractive but not hot girls, and green for
9.5-10 girls.
Sometimes you may hear a PUA refer to an HB as ‘HB KatieHolmes’, ‘HB
Bubblebutt’ or ‘HB White-sweater’ which are ways of using some physical
or other characteristic instead of a rating, that is more descriptive of what
the target looks like or reminds you where they met ('HB Lighthouse').
Likewise when you enter a venue, you may use clock positions, as in ‘HB
at your 9 o’clock’ to indicate to your wing whom you wish to sarge. This
tends to be a better way of communicating than yelling ‘Check out the chick
with the big jugs to your right!’
A cougar refers to an older woman (generally 40’s and above), out looking
for a younger man.
An HG is a Hired Gun, as in 'that HG8 who works at Hooters.' Girls who are
under age are referred to as JB, or JailBait. Stay away from them.
Women
The following is a list of roles women can serve in the PUA's game plan. As
the PUA meets and games women, he may place a woman in a particular
category, though it is possible for a woman to change position:
1. Sexual partner. This may take many forms from long term relationship
(LTR) to one night stand (ONS).
2. Friend/pivot. Some women are taken, not interested in dating, or are not
your type on a romantic or physical level. Many of these women would be
great friends, who may connect you with other women, and potential pivots
in field.
3. Pawns. At times, a PUA will befriend a woman, game her a bit, and then
pawn her into a new set for a more desirable woman.
4. Obstacle. Sometimes a woman is only in the way of gaining access to a
more desirable woman in the set. The PUA first befriends her, but only with
the intention of gaming her friend.
As you get better at gaming, you will meet more and more women, each of
whom has their own set of values and interests. It is advisable to keep a
journal of when and where you met each girl, and all the information you
learned about her on day 1 and day 2. This will permit you to study up
before each date, without confusing the various women you may be
seeing.
Financial Investment in the Game
Running game should generally not be an expensive pastime. You can
minimize your overhead by doing the following:
1. Peacock with inexpensive but attention-grabbing items. You can get a lot
of mileage with some cheap finds, as opposed to trying to get blinged out
with gold chains and wrist watches.
2. Don’t buy her drinks and if you go on a ‘date’ make it something that is
cheap or free. Girls respect men who consider themselves the prize, and
step all over guys who squander their hard-earned money in the hopes of
'gettin some.'
3. Don’t buy yourself drinks. Drink nothing, or else club soda or soda at the
bar.
4. Go to clubs and bars that don’t charge covers, or keep it to under $10.
5. Sarge venues that aren’t too far a drive. You’ll use less gas.
6. Don’t buy expensive gifts. Women like knowing you were thinking about
them, so an inexpensive gift can carry just as much or more meaning as a
high-priced item.
On Gaming Drunk Girls
When girls go out to a bar, pub or club they often drink, and many times
get drunk. If you want to run game on drunk girls, you must take these
factors into consideration:
1. Drunk girls may ping kino and IOIs but often they are insincere or
fleeting. That is, at some point their rational mind might kick in and you’ll
sense an abrupt IOD or kino withdrawal. It’s not that they become
disinterested in you, it’s that the alcohol made them artificially interested to
begin with.
2. You may think you’re running tight game on a drunk girl, but don’t be
surprised if an hour later she doesn’t know who you are, or if a few minutes
later she’s gotten just as cuddly with another AMOG in the bar when you
stepped away.
3. Flake rate will probably be higher.
4. Drunk girls throw up, making F-closing awkward or less likely.
5. Drunk girls are typically easy to open. Stupid openers work fine, and kino
escalates rapidly in the first minute.
6. Trying to have sex with a drunk girl for the first time can be maddening.
You will nearly enter, then get LMR, then freeze her out, then start over.
Because she's drunk, this cycle can continue endlessly, and she won't be
able to know what she wants or how to articulate it.
The Close and the 'Date'
The point of opening a set, building mutual attraction and finding rapport is
to ‘close’ the target. This might come in the form of a number, an email, a
kiss or a fuck (known as #, @, K and F closing, respectively). Your goal for
learning the seduction arts may be to screw a lot of women, to create a
social circle, or to get married. There's not a right or wrong choice; it's your
preference, so don't feel like your game is off just because you don't find
yourself sleeping with tons of women. Maybe you're highly selective, and
that's just fine. Every man's journey will be different. Don't allow others to
dictate your goals.
Though it is tempting as you start to apply your new skills to collect as
many numbers as you can, it is advised that you only ask for a girl’s
number if you are truly interested in following up with her.
Kiss closing has not been exactly defined (can run the gamut from a quick
peck to a full make-out), but is any form of mouth-mouth contact that
implies something beyond just friendship. By comparison if you kiss her
cheek, there is not necessarily romance or sexuality implied (as her
grandmother probably kisses her the same way). Hugging is a perfectly
good way to close, as it implies intimacy and trust without being creepy
(unless you make it creepy).
Going for a kiss-close can be an art unto itself, and more information is
provided in the kino chapter. PUAs have noted that many girls will make
out with many guys on a given night and think nothing of it, but chances of
a date (called Day 2 by PUAs) become unlikely because the girl then
assumes you're just trying to get into her pants. Therefore, if you want a
date with a girl, you may want to avoid making out. This however is only
one perspective, and you may find it isn't yours.
As for 'dating,' PUAs avoid the term because going on dates falls within a
female agenda/frame of having a man jump through hoops and pay for
things with the expectation of rewarding him with sex. This sort of frame
control is what AFCs gladly submit to, and PUAs overcome in order to
control the frame. By making the girl the sought-after prize, the man's value
drops relative to hers, and if sex happens often it is because she is now
indebted to him for all the things he's bought her. Women use sex as a
bargaining chip against men in relationships; having sex with her will
lessen her power over you.
When she does come over for Day 2, you may want to invite her into your
home/apartment briefly, to desensitize her for when you bring her back
later. You can give her a quick tour of the home, very matter-of-factly with
nothing that implies sex or romance (lights on, no candles or music). See
The Judge's chapter on Day 2 for more advice.
Eventually, you may decide to enter into a long term relationship (LTR) or
short term relationship (STR) with a girl. While monogamy works for some,
keep in mind that as you stop gaming, your skills will probably get rusty and
your approach anxiety may creep back. It may therefore be worthwhile to
continue gaming, though not fully closing.
There is a distinction between a same-night lay (SNL) and a one-night
stand (ONS). A ONS implies you want to have sex for one night, then move
on and break contact sexually. This happens when you don't timebridge or
create sufficient comfort. By comparison, a SNL means you 'pull' a girl from
a venue and have sex with her that night, but have done the work needed
to see her again for a longer term sexual relationship. Your logistical issues
need to be resolved in advance to pull SNLs/ONSs; that is you or her
should have an S location close to the venue or be able to get there with
relative ease. If not, going for a day 2 may be your only option. Extraction is
the term used to refer to pulling a target out of the meet venue and into a
seduction location.
All the above being said, there are purists in the community who feel that
only an f-close constitutes an actual close. When you start collecting #s
you realize that getting a #-close can often be worthless if she flakes, so it
is only a tool of timebridging. And kissing is simply a step in kino escalation
ending in sex, so the k-close is also relatively meaningless. To actually
'seal the deal' you need to go through the entire seduction cycle, meaning
you have hooked, built mutual attraction, generated rapport, blown through
LMR and had sex (S3).
On Flaking
Girls flake. A lot. Never assume it’s you or your game, because many times
there’s something going on in the background when you met her that
you’re not privy to (for example, a boyfriend). Assume all closes will flake
and never take it personally. As your game improves, you may find #
closing is not the problem, but getting them on the phone afterwards is.
Always try to find reasons for the flake that may be corrected by
strengthening your day 1 interaction.
Several solutions have been offered to try to minimize flaking:
1. Leave them with your strong identity, particularly that you: are funny,
entertaining, warm and sweet, never run out of interesting things to say,
and can be vulnerable and soft.
2. Consider running some A2 and A3 after you’ve been in comfort, just to
re-establish your prizability.
3. Stay in set long after you # close (at least 5 minutes, but longer if you
can hold her interest). # close in A3 or early comfort and then try to get as
deep into comfort as you can (or seduction, though you risk buyers
remorse).
4. 'Cocky funny' master David De Angelo prefers email closing. He goes
first for the email, then as an ‘afterthought’ asks for the phone #. He has
found that email correspondence first will compel her to respond on the
phone later.
5. Have them suggest the # exchange as opposed to you asking for it. You
can use: ‘I think we’d really enjoy each other’s company. How can we go
about seeing each other again?’
6. You can ask for the # under the guise of some other reason besides
dating. For example, ‘Oh you sing? Well I manage singers’ or ‘You have a
great voice and I’m looking for girls to do voice over for a movie.’ However,
when they give you their # and then realize you’re running game, it may
backfire, looking sleazy and repelling them.
“If you're going for less than 25 minutes, you're compromising
your set. Now what is on average for me? In retrospect,
looking at my successes, 40 minutes. From meet to phone
number is around 40 minutes.”
Mystery
7. Have them pinky promise they’ll answer when you call. This can seem
try hard, but women often do consider pinky promises sacred.
8. Tell them you want to continue the convo later when you get to your car,
and do call them that night. They might get accustomed to your phone call
if it immediately follows the pickup. See Decibel's # exchange for a similar
tactic.
9. If you get the voice mail, always appear non-needy. Better than asking
her out on a date, just leave a funny message or opinion opener type of
message. This way she gets used to your calls as a regular part of her life.
10. When calling, continue to apply FTC and be the one who ends each
call. Do not spend an eternity on the phone with her. Get the date
established and then end the call. You cannot effectively run game over the
phone. However, out of necessity, comfort-building can be done in part
over the phone.
11. Text messaging and email are preferred by many over phone
messages. You can spend more time carefully wording and responding,
can ask others for advice on how best to respond, and can time your
responses to play with her emotional state. You should try to imbue a
sense of intrigue and mystery into the TM/email. “Hey, it’s Decibel. Wanna
go out?’ doesn’t grab as well as ‘Hey, rocker girl. Do you like dogs?’ or ‘Did
I miss your birthday?’ See the chapter on text/phone game.
12. If the 1st call doesn’t get a response, many times the second will. Two
strikes, they're out. Move on to the next target and maybe return to this
number in a week or two. Some PUAs are more persistent, but sometimes
it's best just to take the hint, and analyze your game for flaws.
13. Using a time bridge during the initial pickup is more effective than
leaving things up in the air. Have a specific pre-existing plan and invite her
along, as opposed to a ‘hey, we should hang out sometime’ statement.
Make the first meeting interesting; movies and coffee are out. Walks on the
beach, window shopping, dog park are things that are preferable. Many
PUAs recommend not even having a ‘date,’ and certainly don’t spend
money on her until she has earned it (with at least a kiss). David D
recommends making it clear to her that the point of the first date is for YOU
to qualify HER, and that flaking is unacceptable. He ends the calls with
something along the lines of ‘…and if nothing else, we can just be friends.’
14. Solid A3 helps reduce flaking. This makes it clear you really do value
her as an individual human being.
15. She should always be chasing you at every stage of pick-up, or at least
that should be your frame.
16. Create a compelling reality that she would want to be a part of. Even if
you think your hobbies are boring, if you describe them with passion, she
will be drawn to you.
17. Establish wide, deep comfort, which may take 30 or minutes of
isolation. Certain venues, particularly those of super-high energy like dance
clubs, don't facilitate this sort of rapport-building and therefore are not
always the best locations to get solid #s. Wide comfort means discussing a
large variety of topics, while deep comfort means firmly establishing a bond
at a more profound emotional level.
18. Move girls in venues. If you open her standing up, move her
somewhere to sit down. You can say 'My feet are tired from standing...let's
go sit.' Or you can begin a thread, like 'Hey, have you played the 5
questions game? Ok, come here' and then take her hand and lead her. If
you open her sitting, stand her up, move her somewhere else, and then sit
her down. Moving girls asserts dominance and makes it more likely they
will comply with a bounce outside the venue.
19. Decibel uses the 'I'll come to you' tactic, as opposed to the usual 'You
come to me' approach. In other words, listen during the convo for activities
she likes to do, then timebridge to something along those lines near her
work or home, so that she can easily meet up. It's generally best to meet in
a sarge location, so in case of flaking, you can game.
20. See the Day 2 chapter for Monday Night Throwdown.
21. Brad P's Double Flake Reversal. If a girl is about to flake or in the
process of flaking, you let her know you're going to have to flake tonight.
Your flaking overrides hers. So if 7PM rolls around and you haven't heard
from her yet, and she gets off work at 8, you assume she's going to
flake...send her a text or call 'Hey, sorry but I'm gonna have to cancel
tonight...something came up. I'll get back to you soon.'
22. Buying temp starts dropping when you leave her on day 1. Try to
schedule a day 2 within 4 days of day 1.
23. Create sexual intrigue. See verbal kino and sexualization in the Kino
Chapter.
The Stalker # Exchange (Decibel)
We all agree that getting her # without solid game on day 1
can be done, but will probably lead to a flake. But getting her
comfortable talking on the phone with you is almost as
important, since some girls are intimidated by phone game.
When I get the #, I then call her so she has my #. But then I
make her answer her phone, and when she does, I start talking
to her: 'Hey, dude, I met this creeeeepy girl in the bar, and
she's all stalking me now!' If you hold the phone to your ear,
the girl will usually play along and start talking back to you on
her phone. As she's talking, close your phone quietly and put it
away. When she's done, look at her seriously and say,
'Ok...now you're starting to freak me out' and give her some
playful kino to calibrate. The girl's buying temp will spike from
being duped, and she'll have gotten past the first hurdle of
getting comfortable talking on the phone with you. Have her
type your name into her phone and save it.
Wing Rules
Wings are fellow PUAs who assist you in field to open sets and distract the
obstacles so that you can run game on your target. You may try to recruit
one of your AFC friends to wing you, though frequently in explaining these
tactics to them you will be met with highly judgmental, misinformed
reactions. Often times, AFCs will generate a litany of reasons not to learn
or apply these techniques, and it primarily comes from a place of fear. Fear
of approaching, fear of getting blown out, fear that everything they know
about dating is wrong. If an AFC is not interested in learning pick up for
whatever reason, or if they blow you out of sets in field, abandon them until
they are more receptive, and find a genuine, capable wing to assist you.
You can find wings by going onto the web and joining lairs and forums
devoted to pick-up. You may have to go through a number of guys before
you find wings you like personally and who are devoted to gaming.
Now, the rules:
1. The one who opens the set owns it. Let him pick his target, while the
wing occupies the obstacle.
2. In general, the wing should enter later, not with you in A1. He should
wait for IOIs from the set. Entering together can appear predatory. One
way to minimize the predator effect is for one wing to face away from the
set, or pretend to speak on his cell phone, or talk to another wing. While
doing this, he can get a sense of when the other wing has hooked, and
then turn and start gaming the obstacles when appropriate. Contributing to
the ongoing thread works well, as opposed to interrupting your wing and
derailing his thread before a needed impending emotional spike.
3. Wings take priority over the set. If the wing enters, face him and greet
him. Don’t reduce his value by talking with the set in spite of him.
4. The Michelle Gambit. When the wing enters he should ask you if you’ve
seen Michelle, while he ignores the set. You respond No and then as he
leaves to ‘find Michelle’ you grab his arm as an after-thought and say ‘Hey,
man you should meet these girls. They’re cool.’ Neg the target to identify
her to the wing ('...except this one, I'm still not sure about her'). Some other
variation of this can be used (make her the good one or the bad one), but
the wing should know who the target is by your predetermined code. Next,
the wing introduces himself and asks how they know you. He then
occupies the obstacle(s).
5. As an alternative to #4, run an AI (accomplishment intro) for the wing
and then introduce him.
dB's Wing Intro
My wing enters as soon as I hook, usually 10-45 seconds in,
and asks if he can get me something to drink (thereby making
me the leader of men, and him the protector of loved ones).
Me: No, but thanks man. Hey, come meet these two goofballs,
this one's named Matilda, and that one's Henrietta. And I didn't
catch their names (pointing to the other obstacles).
In this case, you can have a predesignated system (purely
optional, as often this soon you haven't figured out which girl is
most receptive to being gamed), such that Henrietta is the
target. Go to your AI...'This is my right-hand man John. He
runs half of Southern California. But he's modest, so he
doesn't like to talk about it that much.'
You can also indicate the obstacle by giving her an
accomplishment intro. That is, tell your wing all the interesting
things about her, or jokingly make stuff up ('This chick here is
amazing! She used to tour with the Bolshoi ballet all over the
world. You know plastic? Her dad invented plastic!'), so that
your wing acts impressed ('Oh really?! Your dad invented
plastic?') and goes over to talk to her while you isolate your
target. In addition, by overselling the obstacle and underselling
the target, your target will be more inclined to work for your
attention.
6. The wing can occupy the target for a few minutes to in essence AI you,
then pass the target back to you.
7. Newbie trick #1: You can setup the wing by sending him into a set as a
pseudo-AMOG. He runs game, then you come in and purposely blow him
out. This will raise your value and make it easier to game them. Newbie
trick #2: A wing can enter a set and devalue them by grossed-out facial
expression and then eject. You then enter, looking like a hero.
8. When asking permission of the set to isolate the target, your wing should
be the first to say yes, so that the obstacle will likely go along with it. The
wing can also placate the obstacle's concerns by saying, 'Ok, but just stay
where we can see you!'
9. Once the target is isolated, the wing should stay away. Similarly if you
open a 1-set, there is little reason for your wing to enter the set, other than
to briefly AI you or to relate some important logistical information, then
eject.
10. Always take the wing’s side in an disagreement.
11. If later kino escalation is timed such that you and the wing are
escalating similarly, compliance will improve. That is, often a girl will feel
like less of a slut if her friend is complying. In contrast, if one has escalated
faster than the friend, they may both reject the escalation.
12. You may wish to have a code for when you're ejecting and why. For
example, if you suddenly notice your wing's target has a wedding ring and
you want to eject while alerting him, you can say, 'I'm gonna go look for
Camille.'
A useful tactic is for two wings to work a room together or independently,
develop a lot of proof and some attraction, and then decide which are the
warmest sets to reopen. Then focus on gaming those three sets where a
lot of attraction can be generated. Determine which HBs have the best
logistics, and then pull. Wings are there to help each other, but at the end
of the night, it is not necessary to pull girls from the same set; each PUA is
free to pull a girl from a different set and leave separately.
A pivot is like a wing, but is an HB who does not necessarily have a
romantic or sexual relationship with the PUA. She is called a pivot because
when entering a room, attention goes to her first because of her looks, and
then 'pivots' to the PUA. Pivots are useful in establishing preselection.
Unlike a pivot, a female wing is more than passive eye candy; she is
capable of opening sets, occupying obstacles, and communicating with the
PUAs at a more advanced level.
Hired Guns
The reason to run game on hired guns is that often they are the most
attractive women at a venue. In contrast, there are many reasons not to run
game on them, or at least many issues you should understand before
undertaking this mission. The following is by PUA StrongPersuader:
Here are a few of my thoughts on hired guns and the problems
with them (in no particular order). I'm focusing more on bars
and nightlife venues rather than day game here, but a lot of it
can be applied there.
1 - They get hit on all the time
This is very, very true. Be original, be unique and be fun to be
around. Canned material from the community, in my opinion,
will not work, they will have heard it all before when sober and,
while they can't call you out on it publicly, your community
generated DHV routine will actually DLV because you are
showing her that you lack originality. I have a number of
routines and stories based entirely on displaying wit that get
good results, your delivery must be spot on and congruent.
2 - False IOI's, concealed IOD's
Remember why, especially in the US, the hired gun is being
nice to you. So, how can you tell if the IOI's are true or not?
You need to be more situationally aware than ever here.
Watch her without watching her. Like anyone, hired guns have
tells that give them away, you can gain calibration through
watching her with other people. Is she pushing for you to have
another drink or talking to you when it's clear that you've
finished your coffee? I was in a restaurant sat at the bar
planning on using the barmaid to get warmed up. I'd finished
my dinner, my wine and coffee and she was stood there talking
to me while I just wanted my check... She'd spend longer with
me than the other people at the bar (guys and girls), so I was
able to figure out (almost) exactly what were IOI's and what
were not.
IOD's from hired guns are different too. She CAN'T ignore you,
you're the customer. If she ignores you, she runs the risk of
getting fired, losing her tip or missing her sale. So, how do you
spot IOD's? These will, in my experience, typically be
situational IOD's, things like pushing you into another beer,
another shot or anything where you have to purchase
something while you're talking. What is her motivation? What
does she gain from the interaction? More sales, a bigger
commission or a bigger tip.
3 - Interrupts
Hired guns are there to make a living. In a busy bar, for
example, they will constantly be running up and down to get
people drinks. When they do stop to talk to you, you only have
a few seconds, so keep the routines short. If the bar is quiet,
you can run longer routines. If you pace it wrong and run a
long routine when she's busy, you would need seriously strong
frame control to avoid looking like "that bum at the bar wasting
her time". Your routines have to make her want to be with you
and be realistic. Do you really want to be "that guy" lingering at
the corner of the bar leering at the girl you wish was your GF?
Would you do that to any other girl on your side of the bar?
Open sets around you and build heavy social proof. Being the
center of attention at the bar (in a positive way, not falling
down drunk or something) and she can justify spending more
time with you. There are routines you can use to do this. Go to
YouTube and search for "how to get free drinks". There are a
load of videos there from "The Real Hustle" showing you
proposition bets and tricks to run at bars.
4 - The all-seeing eye
Hired guns see all and hear all. They will see you crash in sets
and they will see you open sets. Live with it, accept it and be
damned well aware of it. Be as congruent as you can be
through out the night. Pre-selection, social proof and being a
true Alpha male will get you a long way here.
5 - Financial motivations
I'm not saying hired guns are just talking to you for your
money, but you are the customer. For example, in a strip club,
you wouldn't pay for a lap dance etc if you actually wanted to
hook up with the stripper, you'd no longer be a cool guy, you'd
be part of her rent check. Now, in bars, you have to buy a drink
from her, but don't over-tip unless you've got a wallet the size
of Donald Trump. If you drop a big tip, the hired gun will see
you as another part of her rent check in the same way that
Wiley Coyote often saw Roadrunner as a roasted meal.
6 - Who is this girl?
Would you care if you crashed and burnt with a girl this side of
the bar? Heck no, you'd pick yourself up, dust yourself off and
move on. There is no reason why a hired gun should be any
different.
Inner and Outer Game
Ok, so you walk into a club and see the hottest girl on the planet. You
approach and run game. This is your outer game. Now, on the inside you
could be: 1) trembling with fear because you don't want to blow it with this
HB22, or 2) confident that you'll sleep with her because you're ENTITLED
to sleep with her. This is your inner game. If your inner and outer game
don't match, we call that incongruent, and chicks will smell it and blow you
out.
So, many many guys who get into pick up are AFCs. They're smart, funny
and confident in many ways, but don't feel entitled to or capable of picking
up high value women. So no matter how good their outer game gets, their
inner game will keep them from getting what they want.
Working on inner game means proving to yourself that you deserve
everything life has to offer, and then learning how to embody this
confidence and project it to the world.
Perseveration: 'The uncontrollable repetition of a particular response, such
as a word, phrase, or gesture, despite the absence or cessation of a
stimulus, usually caused by brain injury or other organic disorder.' (The
American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition.)
Those afflicted with AFCism will tend to perseverate over one or a few
personal traits that they have concluded makes them unattractive to
women. This may be height, age, weight, income, living condition, acne or
any other perceived flaw. The AFC will then become convinced that
because of this quality, he should not approach or pick up women. Despite
this belief, he experiences no actual evidence that women are rejecting him
because of this characteristic. To break out of this frame, the AFC needs to
shut these negative thoughts out and stop perseverating.
'Sticking points' is the term aspiring PUAs give to any part of their game
that is not up to par and in need of improvement.
The Dance Floor
“The dance floor is a trap” says Mystery. You can't run suitable game
unless it's dance floor game. It is often too loud to hear or be heard, and it
may be very hard to sustain that level of energy. There are exceptions.
Dancing is useful to spike a girl's buying temp (BT), which will enable
easier escalation. You also can pull girls off the dance floor to run verbal
game in a quieter area.
Dancing
By The Sheriff
The dance floor has DLV written all over it. 1) You are putting
all the control in the girl's hands. 2) When girls dance among
themselves they are there to jerk off their egos by luring in
guys and burying them - this is how they DHV. 3) You are
going in with no way of ejecting in style. 4) You are giving her
the power to seriously DLV you in front of God and Country by
spinning off with another guy. The bitch will do this if she wants
the ego boost. 5) The dance floor is a high visibility area and
prowling for ass in front of the entire bar screams low value. 6)
The dance floor provides no good way to DHV and is mainly a
distraction from gaming. 7) All the AMOGs hang out on the
dance floor. She is flaunting her sexuality and you are feeding
into it. Yes it's an opportunity to spin her around and have a
little fun but it's much more about A3 than A1 or A2. If a girl
asks me to dance, I sit down, pull her between my legs and
say 'okay, I'm ready.'
“A Bad Night”
It is advised that aspiring PUAs release themselves of any expectations.
However, many guys experience 'a bad night' out when they leave a venue
without a number, are blown out of sets, or get AA. However, the student of
PU should remove the concept of a bad night from their mind, and instead
reflect back on their sarge for areas they can improve, considering their
night a learning experience.
“It's amazing what you can learn about women when
you're not busy trying to stick your dick in them.”
Decibel
Calibration
The art of pick-up largely comes in the form of calibration: correctly
interpreting the communicated and subcommunicated messages a set is
telegraphing, and altering your game in response from one moment to the
next in order to steer your targets toward seduction. The only way to get
good at calibrating is to spend many many hours in field sharpening your
skill set. With enough practice you will finally 'see the matrix' as PUAs call
it, being able to look upon your interactions and competently control them
where you want them to go.
My Two Dogs: AA and Excessive Kino (Decibel)
My Min Pin is terrified of people. He has paralyzing
approach anxiety and would rather sit in a corner peeing
on himself than let a person be friendly to him. My
Boston Terrier, on the other hand, licks anyone who puts
their face near his. This excessive kino repulses many
people. Neither dog is well-calibrated, as the Min Pin will
never let himself ping IOIs with a friendly target, and the
Boston can't stop himself from going kino even when
there are NO IOIs.
Venues
The very first thing a PUA does is calibrate his game to the venue or
situation. Doing a lot of high energy cocky-funny material, for example, may
get you blown out in day game, whereas complicated opinion openers may
not work for loud clubs. The following are typical sarge venues and how
you might adjust your game:
1. Very loud dance clubs. They may not be conducive to establishing deep
comfort, but alas there are SHBs here that you may want to game. A
typical approach assumes mostly these are ADD (Attention Deficit
Disorder, where girls have extremely low attention spans) drunk girls, and
so opinion openers and complicated stories won't fly. Go with brief high
energy ridiculous openers, like: "Hey! It's your birthday!!! High five!" (spin).
Be the 'bright, shiny object' that gets attention. BT is usually way up,
making kino easier to escalate. There are often quiet areas (smoking
sections and sidewalks outside) where comfort can develop. These clubs
are many times filled with girls seeking validation, part of which is being
enabled by alcohol to tool guys.
About Clubs
By J the Ripper
I've been promoting various clubs for a few months now, and
thought I'd give a recap of what it's been like so far, and
maybe help debunk some myths. The following are not
universal and only from my experience...the clubs I work at
now are pretty legit and I haven't seen any shadiness, but
there are things to be aware of...
Becoming a Promoter
Since I got into the game, I have gone to a club every single
Friday and Saturday night since the beginning of 2007 (the
only exception being Day2's). I made sure to meet as many
employees there as I could. I had asked a promoter at a club
how I could get into this line of work, and he assured me I'd
have my own list the following week. My first night I drew 4
people.
Basically if you want to get into this, it's as easy as asking.
There is no application or interview...all they care about is
whether or not you have the ability/potential to draw crowds.
The Money
Most clubs require you to draw at LEAST 15-20 people in
order to get paid, unless you have an established track record.
If you don't hit your quota you don't get paid, simple as that.
You can get paid anywhere from $5-$8 bucks a head once you
hit your quota.
At first, it usually takes about 1-2 weeks to get paid. What
really sucks is that sometimes the door people don't properly
add up the tally, and even if I know for sure I brought more
people, in the end the head promoter goes by the tally sheet. It
took me 2 months to develop a solid following to where I was
getting paid.
Free Passes/Comps
This is the first thing you'll be asked about by your
friends..."Can ya get me in for free, huh huh, can ya?" Being a
promoter does not automatically mean you can start giving out
free passes left and right. Those are given to you according to
your track record. When you're just starting out, you can be
expected to receive 2 comps.
Free drinks are also earned according to track record. Just
because you promote doesn't mean you get free drinks
whenever you want. I use those tickets to give to my best
clients who I feel can help me draw more people. These are
usually given out to you by the head promoters or tally people.
It's bad etiquette to ask for them straight out.
Hired Guns
Promoting at a club, you automatically join the family;
everyone has their job and respects each other's hard work.
We all know each other, from the bathroom attendant, the door
people, the bartenders, other promoters and security.
It's always good to make chit chat with these people, as they
will help you out in ways you don't think of right away.
If I have to take a mean piss and there's a long ass line, I go
straight up to the front and say 'what's up' to the towel guy
Fernando, and he lets me pass through.
If there's a huge line of people wanting to get drinks, I wave my
hand at Lucy the bartender and she already knows what I want
and waves me over to come get it.
The Line
Aside from the people I'm allowed to comp, we usually don't
have the pull to let others cut to the front of the line. Getting
caught doing so is really bad since usually the tally girls/door
people control the line flow and don't want others interfering.
The door people do accept "donations" some of the time. For
example if you feel the line is too long, ask the person working
the line if "they take donations in exchange for being moved up
ahead of the line". Usually they accept, but they double the
price you would have paid had you waited in line.
There are usually lines designated for "guest lists," for VIP's
and for general entry. Make sure you know which line you
belong in...just because you waited in the wrong line the whole
time doesn't mean you will get in...likely you will be sent to the
back of the proper line.
Guest lists/VIP Lists
Here's a controversial one. All that being on the guest list does
is guarantee you get in for a discount (if you get there before
the cut-off time), and girls usually enter free (also before the
time limit). Being on the guest list is basically a discount from
the regular cover charge. It doesn't necessarily mean you get
in for free.
Even if you got in line BEFORE the cut off time, but you don't
get to the front of the line until AFTER the cut off time, the
guest list will become irrelevant and you will have to pay either
regular entry fees, or post-cut-off-time guest list fees (which
usually round up to $10 more than the discounted price).
And there also usually isn't a "guest list" in the way you might
think, as it relates to names being on a list. If I tell you that you
are on JTR's guest list, all it means is that if you mention that
at the door, you qualify as being on it.
As far as actual names being on the list, that's usually where
VIP's go. VIP's are comped and as soon as you verify your
identity to the door people, they will try to look for your name
on the list and let you in if all checks out.
There are VIP sections, and sometimes guest list entrants will
have access to this area as well, but most of the time they are
restricted.
Promoters on my level don't have anything to do with what you
end up being charged...I've seen a lot of times where clubs
raise the advertised fee, and people feel mislead and complain
to me. When they go to collect your money and they want to
charge you more than what was promised/advertised, it's at
your sole discretion whether or not you want to pay it. This is
kind of shady, and the clubs I work at now don't do this but a
lot do.
Rolling Out In Packs
The more exclusive clubs I've promoted in Hollywood are very
strict about the guy/girl ratio. Don't roll out with a bunch of
dudes and no girls...that will almost certainly mean you are
going to wait longer than everyone else, or maybe not getting
in at all.
Best thing to do is to break off in groups of 2 guys, and play it
off like you're not together, or even wait in different parts of the
line.
This next tip is tricky and can get you in trouble. You can find
girls outside to join you (by telling them it will be free) but make
sure THEY ARE NOT ALREADY ON SOMEONE'S LIST! You
just want to grab people who are general entry patrons. Don't
grab someone affiliated with another promoter; doing so is
considered one of the worst things you can do to surely piss
off the senior promoters.
2. Mellow loungish/dive bars. Lights are usually a little brighter which helps
detect ugs but also makes your flaws more noticeable. The people are
better behaved, though often to the point that opening can be rough. You
may get more shit tests in these venues, and the level of
sophistication/pretentiousness makes esoteric or CF openers not as
effective.
“The dark and fashionable bar is a place for the intercourse of
surfaces.”
Russell Smith
3. Day game venues. These are everyday people doing everyday things.
Sometimes they're in a hurry to be somewhere and not in the mood to talk.
However, if you can isolate and get into comfort, these sets may provide
more reliable #s.
4. Pubs/sports bars/restaurants. Many times these have a higher drunk
AMOG ratio, and competition may be tough. Testosterone levels are high,
and a solid frame is needed. Mood can be a little similar to dive bars, so
you may get a medium or high amount of shit testing. Often the girls are
really drunk, but not in a high BT way like dance clubs, more in a weird
obnoxious way.
On slow nights like Monday through Wednesday, instead of sarging you
may want to focus on building rapport with local bar staff including
managers, bouncers and bartenders. This can provide useful social proof
when you return.
Venues can be categorized as primarily 'moving' or 'standing.' In moving
clubs, such as high-energy dance clubs, sets are roaming around and tend
to stay in motion, making it difficult to hook. Pubs are standing venues,
where girls are sitting or standing but never moving around too much.
Venues may have a combination of standing or moving, such as many
dance clubs which are moving inside the dance area but standing in the
smoking section. Often times it is easier to game in the standing areas of
these venues.
Apply the 3 Set Rule. If you enter a new venue and get blown out bad three
times, step away from gaming for a moment and review your tactics. You
may need to recalibrate your energy or your openers, or determine if you're
better off going direct versus using strict Mystery Method.
Gaming in Small Towns
By CrazyWilly
The Mystery Method was developed mostly in the Los Angeles
club scene. But many of us live in small towns that are unlike
LA. Just for reference, the small town where I've developed
these tactics is a college town that is at least an hour drive
away from any "city." Anyway, in a small town you have your
choice of only a few good venues and you'll see the same
crowd out at these venues on a regular basis. As a result, I
believe that sarging in a small town has some differences
when compared to a big city club environment.
The first thing to do is determine what venues you want to
sarge. Day game will have lots of similarities to day game in a
major city, so I'm choosing not to focus on day game. In night
game, you need to pick the right venue. Obviously you want a
target-rich environment. Expect to get a large turnout of HBs
for any "ladies night" based event. The problem with this is
there will be a large number of other guys out on these nights.
By picking the right little bar, you'll be able to have a good time.
There is a major downside to smaller venues. If you turn into a
wallflower, it will be very obvious to everyone there. As a
result, if you are having an off night or not enjoying being at a
particular venue, bounce before you become part of the wall.
Ideally, you will find a couple different venues worth sarging.
To keep the bar staff honest, don't be afraid to let them know
that you are bouncing venues. Also, if you need to keep
bouncing all night, go back to the venue at which you started. If
the bar staff knows you just bounced to a different venue, they
will welcome you back to their venue, no problem. Personally, I
have 3 different bars I hit regularly, and tend to go into each
bar twice a night. That way I'm seeing a variety of potential
targets.
The key to being successful in a small town is being aware of
your reputation at all times. You likely already have a
reputation in your town. Anyone moving to a small town should
be aware that a reputation is formed really quickly and is very
hard to change once established. So always be aware of the
reputation you are developing. Your reputation is either a DHV
or a DLV. You can choose to develop a player reputation,
however I find it doesn't attract the sort of HBs I'm interested
in. Personally, I attempt to be the most social guy in the venue.
As a result of seeing me in other sets, I find a category of HB
wants my attention. As a result, I always have numerous
targets who are looking forward to meeting me. Also, be aware
of the female player in a small town. If you spend too much
time around HBs like these, you will get a firm reputation that
will make it very hard to develop attraction with HBs who aren't
as social. HBs in a small town have reputations too, so being
with you has to improve her reputation also.
Obviously, you have to go open sets. Likely inside this set,
there is someone who knows who you are. Ideally you use this
to your advantage, creating an insta-wing. The reason your
reputation is again important is that someone in the set may
know who you are, though you don't know them. I've had
obstacles basically drag off a target because of my reputation.
I don't think I had ever met anyone in that set before, but they
knew someone who knew me. Additionally, since the number
of venues is so small, someone you have actively gamed
before will be watching you in this new set. As a result, running
similar routines on a regular basis will hurt you. Some students
of the game have very similar interactions with lots of HBs. If
you develop a reputation for having a very similar interaction
with every HB, it will hurt you. This is addressed by being
creative, and by making sure you have solid IOIs before you
move into A3. While in A3, qualify very well. As a result of
qualifying, the HB will feel unique and special. As a result, your
interaction with her will go well.
Personally, I think attraction is a bit different in a small town.
Everyone is either climbing up or falling down a social ladder.
As a result of knowing people in common, you can either climb
the social ladder based on who you associate with, or you can
fall down the social ladder. HBs are on the same ladder as you
are. In general pre-selection means you refer to some HBs in
your stories. However, in a small enough environment, the HB
you are now interacting with may know that HB. So choose
your pre-selection material carefully. If being seen with you
improves her social standing, she is more likely to want to
associate with you. I find that being outgoing in a small town
will get you places. I'm known for connecting people, thus I
serve as a bridge on that social ladder. It means that people in
general are drawn to me because of what I can do for their
reputation. Who you choose to help will also form your
reputation.
I focus my game primarily on social networking. To become
the person people go to, you need to have an alpha status in
the community. This means your reputation precedes you as
being able to provide useful, good answers to people. This is a
very slow climb to the top. You can attempt to AMOG the
current alpha to lower his status. This is a short term fix, so
personally I don't recommend using any of the really harsh
AMOG tactics in a small town; long term, this will lead to an
asshole reputation. Instead, AMOG in a more subtle way.
Allow the AMOG to look like a fool and his reputation will
suffer. This will improve your social status. Be the guy who
breaks up fights, not the guy who starts them. This tactic to
dealing with AMOGs will improve your social standing in the
long run. As a result of using good judgment, you will become
more alpha.
Peacocking is another aspect of the game which is different in
a small town. If you replicate a Mystery look, you won't blend in
at all. However, in a small town there are some guys who have
a good grasp of fashion. I always attempt to dress in the top
10% at any venue I go to. This means buy some good shirts
and pants, but don't go too crazy with 10 necklaces and 3 rings
and crazy hats. It isn't congruent with a small town
environment. As a result of the smaller population, you'll see
the same HB at lunch a week after you meet her. So you
always have to look good, including grooming and clothing.
When you go out on a Saturday night, you can get dressed up
for a night out, but you won't be congruent if you have a good
selection of clothing for going out and then wear old
sweatpants around town before 7pm. I've bumped into my HBs
at restaurants, Walmart, the bank, the grocery...you get the
point. This means I always look decent. If I'm not in the mood
to at least look decent, I don't go out.
I'm a believer that reputation really matters. If you aren't
discrete in your interactions, it will cause you problems. I don't
discuss women I meet with my close friends. I don't discuss
studying the game. Instead, I attribute the transformation in my
life to other things which have happened. I use friendly preselection as permitted, but I never kiss and tell. I never brag
about my ability to build attraction with anyone. I refer to
everyone as my friend. This means the guy I met 5 minutes
earlier is my friend and the HB I slept with 2 months ago, she
is also my friend. I don't use any derogatory words to describe
women or people. I never call someone a slut. It's obviously
important for an HB to believe you won't talk about her. But
you accomplish this in a very different way than you may
expect. This means from the moment I enter a set, I don't use
any words to label people. I have friends, no enemies and no
awkward interactions. As a result of how I describe others, the
HB determines that I'm discrete.
I've made my share of mistakes. Since I sarge at bars, getting
a drunk HB to comply with kino is easy. Even if you don't close
her, you will develop a reputation for being touchy. This isn't
because the HB didn't enjoy the kino. Instead, it's because
other people are watching you kino her. So learn to kino, but
don't overdo it. There was a night where I kissed 3 different
HBs and got 3 numbers in the span of 2 hours. While I
qualified each HB, anyone else watching saw me interacting in
a sexual fashion with too many HBs too quickly. So I now avoid
kissing HBs while at the bar. I'll happily kiss them once we
bounce. I haven't closed that many HBs, but the reputation I've
developed would imply that I have closed lots. I believe this is
a result of bouncing. So when you bounce with an HB, don't be
too touchy feely as you leave. Walk out as friends, not like you
just got her to pull. As a result, your reputation will remain
solid, and so will hers.
Tourist vs Locals Mentality
Always try to calibrate your game to the venue. Walking into a locals hangout requires a much different approach than walking into a fancy hotel
where tourists are visiting.
J the Ripper talks about the Tourist Mentality in his filthy fingers LR. Here's
a snippet:
The idea behind tourist mentality is that you convey the fact
tonite may be the last time you see each other, and that
whatever happens this night doesn't "actually count". This
makes her more willing/accepting that she can exhibit "bad
girl" actions and yet not be held accountable for it.
There is an evil twin sister to the above: Locals Mentality. While a tourist in
a strange land is already wild and adventurous, willing to act out of her
nature because she knows she can safely leave all bad behavior behind
when she goes home, the local girl hanging out in her usual bar is least
inclined to go nuts.
She assumes any guy who looks remotely out of place is there to hit on
girls...an outsider. If he's not going direct, nothing he says should be
trusted. But even if he is direct, her ASD will go up because the entire
venue is her social circle, and she doesn't want to appear the slut. Girls will
be friendly, but there may be far less compliance, the IOIs aren't as
aggressive, and the blow-outs more frequent.
The way to counter this is to flirt, but not 'pick up'. Chill, get a drink, spend
lots of time hanging out, talk to all the guys like it's your regular venue too.
Begin to assimilate, blend in, and then fold the hot girls into the mix. It
takes patience and a lot of social savvy.
When you visit a city, you become the tourist. As such, women have no
expectation of a relationship or further contact with you, and this may give
them permission to misbehave for the evening.
Room Perspective
You may find yourself getting blown out horribly by a large mixed set,
where all the men and women are laughing and tooling you. Though this
may seem like a defeat, it can often be a victory. There is something called
Room Perspective. How does the Room as a collective entity view you?
When you get blown out like this, the AFC may have his feelings hurt, or try
desperately to recover the set, or start a fight with the dudes who were
laughing at him. But what does the Room see? You just entered a set, and
suddenly everyone’s laughing. The Room doesn’t know that they’re
laughing at you and not with you. It doesn’t matter. Smile and eject; the
Room will think you’re the life of the party.
Interrupts
People can interrupt your set. These can be friends or orbiters of the target
coming into the set (external interrupt), people already within the set
(internal interrupt) and you (autointerrupt).
If you're talking to a girl and suddenly a guy appears from the bar carrying
two drinks, that is an external interrupt. If you are talking to a 2-set and the
obstacle yells “Let's go dance!” that is an internal interrupt. And if you eject
prematurely or fail to escalate due to negative self-talk, those are examples
of autointerrupt.
Uncommonly, things besides people can interrupt you, like a broken glass
or a fight.
Girls have an unwritten, unspoken social contract when they enter a venue.
The entire set has value, and when one of its members does anything that
is strange, the entire set suffers. For example, if a girl makes out with too
many guys in a night, or has sex in the bathroom, or wants to leave with a
creepy dude, the others in the set may see this as detrimental to the overall
set's value. They will therefore try to prevent this, even if the target appears
to be willing and having a fun time. Such is the law of club game.
When girls interrupt you, we call them cock-blocks. Sometimes they will
eye code each other to signal a need for help, but sometimes the
cockblock assumes her role without provocation.
Often there will be a “mother hen.” She is the watchful eye of the set, the
AFOG (alpha female of the group), doing most of the shit testing and
IODing when you enter. She is typically not as attractive as the other girls.
Often you will not even be allowed access into a set because of cockblocking. An extreme example of this is the daisy-chain, where several girls
hold hands and rush through the club. If you try talking to one girl, she has
friends at both hands pulling her away from you.
Whenever you can, befriend all external interrupts the moment they
appear. This is especially important with guys, and ultimately clarify his
relationship to your target. He may AMOG you, but you can never go wrong
with being proactively sociable.
Field/Lay Reports (FRs/LRs)
Reports should emphasize strengths and weaknesses in your approach,
and ought to be honest and thorough. The reader should understand why
you did what you did, what worked and what didn't. Tactics and goals
should be spelled out. How can you capitalize on what works and minimize
the failures in future sets? Simply bragging doesn't serve any useful
purpose. It is advised you type the report as a word document first, and
then paste it online. You can use this format by PUA ch0n60 to organize
your reports:
Time/Date
Location
Logistics
(wings? solo? on vacation?)
What went down
(your report)
What you did well
What you did wrong and could have done better
Other comments
Recording your Game
Many PUAs like to record themselves in-field, since it can provide useful
information about verbal and nonverbal communication by you and the set.
A wing can hold a small inconspicuous camera such as the Flip, and you
can put a microphone/audio recorder in your pocket. Certain recorders look
like pens and can be bought on ebay; most devices have a USB
connection to hook up to your computer, and then you can use video
editing software to synch up the audio and video. Without good lighting, the
video may not be watchable, and with loud music playing, you may not
hear the audio well.
Understand that each state has laws governing the recording of others
without their knowledge. There are one-party and two-party consent states,
and you should know the laws before engaging in public recording, since
the penalties can be stiff.
Lairs and Crews
The seduction community all around the world is composed of crews and
lairs in various cities. A web search may reveal your local lairs. If one does
not exist, it is possible to enlist members on established major PUA forums.
Typically, lairs will meet once a week for 1-2 hours one night between
Thursday and Saturday just prior to heading out to game. Each member
honestly reviews his prior week's experiences, sticking points and
accomplishments. The rest of the members provide feedback and advice.
Next, the moderator leads discussion of that week's topic, which can range
from inner game to strategy issues. Last, it's helpful to perform exercises
which assist in pumping state, and improv classes are a good place to
learn these. Once a month, if available, a known instructor/guru or a senior
member of the crew can give a more detailed lecture on a subject of
interest.
It is easy for the lair to post an online forum. J the Ripper's Casanova Crew
site is a good example of this.
Chapter Two
Communication & Subcommunication
Levels of Communication
The PUA identifies 4 main forms of communication, which can be verbal or
nonverbal. AFCs often cannot detect when these are happening, but by
training yourself, you will develop what Decibel calls the PUA's 6th Sense.
Communication takes the form of:
1. IOI
2. IOD
3. DHV
4. DLV
1. An IOI is an Indicator of Interest. The man is enjoying the woman's
company, or vice versa. A woman's IOIs can be verbal or nonverbal and
include:
Shit tests (also called congruence tests) look like IOD's but are IOIs)
Open and inviting body language
Attempts to qualify
Playful teasing
Doggy Dinner Bowl (DDB) look (she looks at you adoringly, like a
dog waiting for its supper)
Reverse kino (she touches you)
Kino compliance (she permits you touching her...see Kino chapter)
Lets you move her within a venue, or bounce to a new venue
Telegraphs an approach invitation, such as smiling at you across the
room
Opens you directly (which is why peacocking helps)
Asks questions to get to know you better
Gives or asks for logistical information (e.g. about your girlfriend or
where she lives)
Laughs at your jokes, especially the ones that aren't funny
Plays with her hair
Pinging occurs when you throw out an IOI such as an opinion opener. The
pang is the target’s internal emotional response to your ping. Her pong is
her external response which can either be an IOI (answers your opener
honestly) or an IOD (looks at you like you're nuts and turns back to her
friend). When a girl IOIs you, reward her and don't punish her. This seems
obvious, but many guys get carried away with negs and similar tactics, that
they show disinterest at the point where pinging would be more
appropriate.
2. An IOD is an Indicator of Disinterest and may include false time
constraint, a neg, or a change in BL that reflects this disinterest. This can
be used as your response to when the set throws you an IOD. It can take
the form of a body rock out of the set at an emotional peak/DHV spike in
the convo (after they laugh from a punchline) to take away the good
feelings and make them chase you for more. IOD's should be calibrated
with an IOI before or afterwards. For example, neg and then tell her you
love her and give her a hug. A long pause waiting to see if the target will
pick up the convo is an IOD compliance test (restarting the convo is her IOI
pong, versus her turning away and talking to a friend is her IOD pong).
When a girl sends you an IOD, it doesn't necessarily mean she's
disinterested in you. Girls do not want to appear 'easy' so they will IOD
guys as a reflection of their ASD (anti-slut defense). However, if you are
persistent, she may stop IODing and start IOIing. If you are met with an
IOD, never react emotionally – being emotionally unresponsive is key to
pick-up, and you should always behave in a way that shows you are
internally validated and unphased or even amused by the disinterest of
others.
Examples of IODs women throw include pulling out her cell phone, turning
away, walking away, talking to her friend, being curt with her responses, or
being outright rude.
3, 4. DHV and DLV. DHV (Demonstration of Higher Value) should impress
the target without seeming try-hard or bragging. A good storyteller has
innate DHV qualities if he can captivate, emote and take the audience on
an emotional ride. In addition, he can spike the story with more DHV points
that hit attraction switches. A guy who is telling jokes and seeking approval,
or obviously ‘performing’ is called a dancing monkey. This is a DLV
(Demonstration of Lower Value) and should be avoided. Confidence is a
DHV, but being bold or bragging is a DLV.
According to Tyler Durden (TD), the four main ways to DLV are:
1. Convey nervousness.
2. Convey neediness.
3. Try too hard to gain approval.
4. Try too hard to convey value.
Your goal is to DHV and not DLV. For a lot of guys, if they can go and
interact with HBs and not DLV, that's a good first step. Examples: talking
about your financial worries, health problems, low self-esteem, selfdeprecating humor, self-pity, inability to get laid, etc. Many AFCs touch on
these topics, and that's bad marketing.
“It's not enough to have value. You must GIVE value, free of
charge. It is your role to hand value out to all, regardless of
whether people are receptive of it or not. THAT is what's truly
attractive.”
Decibel
To DHV, you want to bring up subjects that women seek in a potential
mate: appropriate humor, respect for her culture/occupation, as well as the
usual switches (preselection, leader of men, etc). You can do this by telling
it, or better, demonstrating it. Example: walk into a club with a group of
beautiful women around you, show non-neediness by ejecting after a spike
in the convo, out-AMOGing other guys.
Chode circles/crystals. There are few DLVs greater than a
bunch of guys standing around in a circle in a bar, holding their
drinks, not talking to anyone else, and generally looking like
wankers. Not only are AFCs guilty of this, but many PUAs form
chode circles. Avoid them like the plague. If you find yourself
in a chode-off with your wings, you are enabling one another's
AA and need to break the circle and go be social immediately.
You might find it hard to get to a set because a bunch of dudes
are standing in your way talking to each other...this is called a
chode block. By comparison, when a bunch of guys are
outgoing, self-amused and pulling girls into their reality, this is
a player diamond (credit RSD).
When you enter a set, it is expected that you will bring value. That is, you
should be interesting and friendly. You should give this value to the set
without making them feel obligated to return value. Value exchange occurs
when the target provides value back to you; if she is not offering value and
you continue to do so, the equation is off-balance. At some point in the
sarge, if you continue to provide value or if you seek value without her
doing the same, your overall value will drop (DLV).
My Two Dogs: Giving Value (Decibel)
I have two dogs: a Min Pin and a Boston Terrier. Both
greet me in the morning. The Boston does it by sitting
next to me so I can pet him. The Min Pin jumps on and
off the bed, spins in circles, makes a lot of huffing
noises, and tries biting my hand. The Min Pin wants to
be fed, the Boston just wants to say hello. Can you tell
which one is bringing value and which one is taking
value? I oblige the Min Pin eventually by getting up to
feed him so he'll leave me alone, but in the end my
actions come from a sense of obligation. Similarly, you
can go into a set and run routines or be a dancing
monkey, and girls will stick around a while to listen to
you, and may even give you their #s, but they do so
simply out of courtesy. In contrast, if you're the relaxed
guy who comes into set just to say hello like my Boston,
people will appreciate your non-neediness and stick
around out of affection.
Giving value without the expectation of it being reciprocated is a major
component in pick-up. There are various levels of value exchange. The
most superficial would be along the lines of a name exchange. Then, a bit
deeper value exchange would include each party saying where they live or
what they do for a living. Ideally, there should be a fair exchange of value
by both parties (called value pinging by Decibel).
Deeper value pinging can be sexual. You share an aspect of what turns
you on, and she may give similar value back. By offering value of an
intimate nature, when appropriate, women may feel comfortable enough to
reciprocate sexual value back.
The Neg: Tease her to please her
Aspiring PUAs often get the neg wrong, and wind up insulting the girl. Negs
should always be playful and end with her chuckling. Shake her sweaty
hand and go...'Ewww...where has that hand been? No wait, I don't want to
know!' Negs disqualify yourself (she's icky or has made some social faux
pas and therefore not appealing to you), and drop her relative value. Negs
generally aren't used once you get into comfort, but you can use them clear
up to that point, including in the BHRR technique. Physical negs include
'boinking' her eyes like you're one of the Three Stooges, and pointing to
something on her chest and then running your finger up her face when she
looks down.
If a girl looks hurt after a neg, this indicates she has become emotionally
invested in the interaction, which is good. Mehow calls this reaction a
negative expression of buying temperature and attraction. Consider this an
IOI and respond accordingly.
Mystery’s Neg Warfare
Get a volley of negs going between you and the target until
she gets irritated and the mood gets uncomfortable. When the
target sends the third neg, go for a hug and qualify her for her
prowess, then physically IOD. If others are in the set, disarm
them after the second neg by whispering something like, ‘this
is called flirting.’
Shit Tests
A shit test is a woman’s attempt to see how resolved you are to stand up
against her active disinterest, or to see if you'll buckle like an AFC when
she challenges you or throws disingenuous seductive language at you. The
AFC might assume these are IOD's but in reality these are a form of IOI
because she is taking the time to see what kind of man you are (instead of
walking away, which is an IOD). She is testing to see if you are congruent;
that is, is your inner game fully in alignment with your outer game. Your
response may be an IOD, often cocky-funny, in the form of a reframe.
So why do girls shit test? Imagine you are hit on, night after night, day after
day, for many years. You might initially be nice to everyone who
approaches, but eventually you will need to have some kind of filtering
mechanism to screen out those people who are weak or not sex-worthy.
This mechanism, for a woman, comes in the forms of the bitch shield and
shit tests.
Multiple Thread Theory
Conversation should incorporate multiple thread theory. You should have
several stories/routines (also called threads) running at once. For example,
you start a story about going on a trip with your friend Barney. You and he
visited New York City. So somewhere before the end of your NYC trip
story, you can break off and go into a story about Barney. Let’s say he is a
horse trainer. So you start a story about him and his horses, then break off
and go to a story about you getting thrown from a horse as a kid. Now
before the end of that, maybe pick up your NYC story again, then jump
back to your Barney story, then your horse accident story. Multiple threads
running at once give the feeling to the target that you’re covering a lot more
ground, compared to going to the end of one thread and then picking up a
new one. This is how old friends talk to each other, and it conveys this kind
of familiarity.
Routines versus Natural Game
There is ongoing controversy within the community as to whether to use
routines, or just a 'natural' vibing form of gaming. In a sense, this is an
artificial division, since many naturals use the same responses, sound bites
and lines over and over in field, and as such they become 'canned.'
Routines are useful initially as training wheels; the AFC doesn't know how
or what to say to women, and so canned material allows the PUA to stop
thinking about what to say, and focus instead on how to deliver it. Then
once tonality, body language and other aspects of communication are
improved, the routines can be abandoned or minimized and a more natural
vibing can take place.
A large reason why guys rely heavily on routines is that they aren't
confident about their own identity, and feel women will reject them if they
don't have routines to fall back on. In this case, routines become a crutch.
Instead of relying on routines to replace vibing, the PUA should work on
their confidence and accept the fact that women will appreciate them for
who they are underneath once that identity is communicated effectively.
PUAs talk about routine stacks, that is a series of routines told by the PUA
to his set. A more natural form of delivery is the routine tree (Decibel/ADZ),
whereby different routines can be employed contingent upon the set's
response. So while a stack is delivered regardless of the set's responses, a
tree permits the PUA to proceed to different routines dependent on the
set's reactions.
Interrupts
If your are running a thread and get interrupted, do not try to get back on
track and finish up the thread. Cut that thread and begin a new one.
Returning to the original thread appears try-hard, though you can get back
to it later as the convo dictates. This is called snip-and-stack.
Handling the external interrupt by Mystery:
Step 1. Say to the target (assuming she’s the most attractive of the set),
“introduce me to your friend. It’s the polite thing to do. You can dress her
up but you can’t take her anywhere” (directed at target). Nobody wants to
appear socially inept, so this phrasing forces the outcome.
Step 2. Introduce yourself to the interrupt even without an introduction.
Shake hands.
Step 3. Stack into new routine.
Push/Pull Dynamics
This concept cannot be emphasized enough. Push a woman away with
your words and kino, and pull them back. Say ‘we should be friends’ while
you pat her butt. Tell her ‘You’re so smart…I hate you’ while you hug her.
Be a hard-ass verbally but affectionate physically. Mix up IOIs and IODs in
one sentence, such as 'You're cool...but I can only stay a minute.' Don’t call
her at the exact time you said you will. Never be afraid to end a convo or
encounter early, even when you two are having the time of your lives. Send
mixed signals constantly, be unpredictable, don’t let her ever feel secure in
knowing she's totally won you over. This technique is extremely powerful.
The cat-string theory states that when you dangle a string in front of a cat,
it will be willing to play with it. Once you let the string go, however, the cat
loses interest and walks away. Girls are like cats, and if you do too much
'pulling' and not enough 'pushing,' they will lose attraction towards you and
you'll lose the set.
The anatomy of cat-string (push-pull dynamics):
I. IOI (pull)
a. Kino
b. Verbal
c. Proximity
d. Pecking
II. IOD (push)
a. Withdrawing
a1. FTC
a2. Roll offs
a3. Take aways
a4. Body rocking
a5. Eject (to reopen later)
a6. Freeze outs
b. Negative kino (throw her hand away)
c. Disqualifiers
c1. False disqualifiers
c2. Negs
What (not) to Say
There are certain words and topics that may shut your set down if you
aren't feeling out the waters carefully first: skulls, death, destruction,
sickness, illness, plague, 9/11, disaster, violence, conspiracy, religion,
politics, guns, crime, rape, torture, molestation, abortion. You can discuss
these issues or use these words, but do so with caution, because they
could easily lead to a dark, depressing convo.
In general, there is never a good reason to compliment a girl about her
beauty or any of her physical features. The same applies to tattoos. You
might say ‘Oh, this is a cool tattoo’ but since guys have probably used that
one a million times, you should neg with something like ‘is that supposed to
be a map of Utah?’ Likewise, if a girl has some physical imperfection, DO
NOT bring it to her attention, and stop your eyes from wandering to it. You
must at all times show indifference to her physical appearance, and always
instead emphasize other positive features like her laugh, her humor, her
ability to walk in high heels, etc.
Approaching an HB and asking mundane dead-end questions like 'where
are you from?' 'how old are you?' 'what do you do for a living?' is called
fluffing. Fluff is one of the leading causes of sarge death. Don't fluff. Don't
open with it, don't stack to it, don't try to attract her with it, don't qualify with
it, don't build comfort with it, and certainly don't use it in seduction. Stay far
far far far away from fluff. Fluff eats its young and annihilates everything in
its wake.
In general, make statements; don't ask questions. If you find yourself
asking questions, change your tonality or find a way of turning it into a
statement. If a girl has an accent, rather than ask 'Where are you from?'
either make the statement 'You're not from around here' or make a joking
question. For example if she's from Australia, ask 'What part of Canada are
you from?' This mocks the interview style of pick-up, so is acceptable.
Making a statement is much more powerful...it demands compliance, as
opposed to requesting it.
Vibing
When two people are out socially having fun, vibing occurs. A good PUA is
able to step outside his head and enjoy the convo, bouncing back
comments that indicate he is there enjoying himself and her company. The
ingredients to vibing are:
1. Push/pull. Send playful mixed signals, be hot and cold, keep her
guessing about your intentions and meanings.
2. Exaggerated remarks such as ridiculous accusations, misinterpretation
of comments you hear, making outlandish comparisons. Reframe so she
appears to be chasing you, even with innocuous comments like asking
where you live.
3. Let others impress. Don't frequently take people's comments and try to
out-do them, impress them or add your own advice and perspectives.
4. Be playfully aloof. If she asks a question, don't always give a straight
answer. If she challenges you on it, don't become defensive. Just have fun
with her.
The caveat to the above is sometimes you need to turn off these tactics
and just 'be yourself.' If a girl wants you to be serious, sometimes it's best
to go that route. The bottom line is that by vibing well, you show you are
non-needy, don't seek the approval of others, aren't overly analytical, are
sure in who you are, have a strong frame that isn't easily shaken, and are
just a fun guy to hang out with.
See the appendix on Decibel's Day 1 Model, which covers strategic vibing.
Having a sense of humor is a major DHV. See the appendix on this topic,
written by PUA The Judge.
Body language is so important that it is given its own chapter...
Chapter Three
Body Language
More
important
than
verbal
communication
is
non-verbal
subcommunication, or body language (BL). This can take the form of facial
gestures, hand and body movement, and vocal tonality. If there is a lack of
congruence between your verbal and non-verbal cues, greater weight will
subconsciously be placed on your non-verbal cues. Women have an innate
advantage over men in interpreting subtle cues, and it is thought in part to
be due to their need to non-verbally communicate with their newborn.
Hence, women are hard-wired to interpret BL in ways men are not, for the
survival of the species.
The three key points are:
1. BL occurs in clusters or 'sentences.' Look at the big picture, including
their facial expression, head position, arms, hands and legs.
2. BL should be congruent with the words being spoken.
3. BL should be interpreted in context to the environment. For example, a
person may cross their arms because the room is cold, not out of
defensiveness.
90% of your opinion of somebody will be formed in the first four minutes of
contact, so it is important to start off on the right foot so to speak. The PUA
will develop a 6th sense, an ability to detect IOIs/IODs by way of non-verbal
communication, and a new-found instinct to respond in such a way that
ends with seduction.
The Cowboy (Decibel)
An IOI compliance test. A sexually aggressive posture will
either cause a defensive response or a welcomed response.
Hook your thumbs in your belt and point down such that your
private parts are framed by your fingers, legs apart. A tight grip
on the belt implies a stronger signal. Elbows held out to the
sides shows a man is trying to enlarge their appearance which
women may find attractive (AMOGs are comfortable taking up
space and being heard, while betas try to take up little space
and avoid being heard). If she IOD's (e.g. crosses her arms)
then she does not accept your demonstration of sexual
aggressiveness, but if she IOIs, then she does. The female
counterpart to the cowboy occurs when she places her hands
on her hips with elbows out. This position draws attention to
herself, emphasizing her fertility by increasing her hip-to-waist
ratio, and is an IOI. A woman who does a cowboy posture
may also be considered sexually assertive.
Vulnerable/honest posture: Hold your palms open with forearms exposed
to disarm defensive posture, or look for it in the target as a sign of
vulnerability or honesty. For example, if she makes a statement but
conceals her hands, she may not be telling the truth, or conversely if she
shows her open palms, you may assume what she says is honest and she
has nothing to hide.
Defensive postures: When you were a child you might have hid behind
objects like mom, a couch or a chair out of fear. As adults we continue to
hide but in more subtle ways. A woman who crosses her arms may be
showing a defensive posture, which means your IOIs are too strong and
you need to recalibrate (e.g. show IOD's). Even worse is if her fists are
clenched as well. A woman may also grip her arms in this position, which
also telegraphs a negative attitude. Though less obvious, when a man
holds his drink in front of him, or is fiddling with the ring or bracelet of the
opposite hand, he is creating a defensive barrier that women may interpret
as fearful. Do not therefore carry your drink in front of you or play with your
adornments. A man who stands with his hands together over his crotch is
trying to defend his manhood, so avoid this posture as it conveys fear.
Unlocking a woman's defensive posture requires IOD's, using a vulnerable
posture (arms and legs uncrossed, palms exposed, chin slightly up to
expose the neck, head tilted to the side) and DHVing, preferably with
humor. You also can physically unlock her by asking her to hold something
such as your drink. Once she unlocks, you can proceed with standard
gaming, but be cautious if she locks up again. Trying to close when she
shows a defensive posture will probably lead to being blown out or a flake.
Legs: As in the cowboy posture, keeping your legs apart telegraphs
confidence and superiority (a willingness to expose the genitals shows a
man is not feeling vulnerable about having them attacked), but can be
overly aggressive if used on a woman who isn't yet attracted. Crossing the
ankles while standing, on the other hand, indicates insecurity and
defensiveness (hides the genitals) and should be avoided. If a woman is
standing with her legs crossed, it indicates that she tends to stay put and
that access is denied (symbolically closes entry to the genitals). Pointing
your feet towards a woman (or her towards you) is an IOI. If pointed away,
particularly towards an exit, it is an IOD.
Thumbs: If your thumbs are sticking out of your pockets, this conveys
attraction in that you're trying to look cool, so unless that is your goal, be
careful. If she's doing it, consider it an IOI. It can also convey a sense of
superiority if clustered with other similar signs, which can be interpreted
negatively by a woman.
The finger: Pointing creates negative feelings in listeners and can be
considered intimidating, so in general avoid it when you are making a point.
Instead, pinch the thumb and index tips together.
The picker: Someone picking imaginary lint from their clothes does not
approve of what is being said, but wishing to suppress their opinion. Ask
that person their opinion to disarm them.
The nod: People tend to speak longer when the person they're
communicating with slowly nods during the convo. Fast nodding creates
the opposite effect. Nodding in general creates positive feelings and
rapport in the observer, and it is good practice to periodically nod during
convo. If you want another person to keep talking, slowly nod (once per
second for 5 seconds) and put your hand on your chin to stroke lightly. This
will encourage the other person to continue speaking.
Head positions: Head slightly up means a neutral attitude, though if the
chin is jutted forward this can indicate arrogance or superiority (they aren't
afraid to expose the throat, and are gaining height while looking down their
nose). Generally, avoid too much head up position, and look for it in others
(men and women) as a possible sign of aggression. If the head is tilted to
the side, it shows vulnerability. This may be helpful in unlocking another
person's defensive posture. If a woman is tilting her head to the side, she is
showing her submission and may be interested in the man. A person who
has their head tilted downwards signals aggression and criticism. You
should work to unlock this position into a more neutral or submissive angle.
The face platter: A woman may rest both elbows on the table and rest her
chin on her hands (palms down, one on top of the other) in a platter
position. This is an IOI.
Hand shakes: How you shake hands says a lot about you, and whether
you consider yourself dominant, submissive or equal to the other person.
Appearing dominant over an aggressive AMOG may be useful in that
context, but doing the same handshake with a girl may telegraph the wrong
feelings. Tilting your palm down will assert dominance, up will assert
submissiveness. An AMOG may grab your hand and try to force it into a
submissive posture, but you should either maintain dominance or go for a
vertical equality shake. If you wish to befriend the AMOG, a vertical shake
is best to create rapport, and equally important, your grip should match his.
If an AMOG approaches with an aggressive palm-down thrust, you can use
your other hand on top of his to force the shake vertical.
Sitting postures: People make decisions with their feet on the ground.
The figure 4 position occurs when someone (generally a man) sits with the
legs crossed and the ankle over the knee. Someone who grips their leg in
this position is displaying a stubborn attitude, which may not be desirable if
you hope to gain their trust. Sitting with ankles crossed, man or woman,
indicates that person is trying not to display a negative emotion such as
fear, guilt or doubt. A person who is engaged in the convo will tend to put
their feet outwards, while someone withdrawn will pull the feet back under
them. The PUA should generally not lock ankles or withdraw feet, and on
detecting this in a woman, should work to unlock this posture. Sitting down
with your crotch exposed to a target you just met is a good way to turn
them off, as it’s a very sexually aggressive pose.
The catapult: When a man leans back with his head resting on his hands,
it is likened to a catapult. This is often clustered with an open crotch
position such as figure 4. Overall this telegraphs an attempt to assert
superiority and is a turn-off. If an AMOG presents this posture, unlock it by
standing, or by forcing him to lean forward by asking him to look at
something (or by indicating your need to whisper something to him). You
also can mirror the catapult to him as this indicates equality.
Seated readiness: A person who is ready to proceed will lean forward,
legs apart, one hand dangling in crotch area, the other palm down on thigh.
If a person places both hands on their knees or chair, leaning forward, they
are eager to leave the convo.
An important aspect of BL is congruency. If you show a lot of interest with
your BL, you need to have verbal communication that reflects this, as in a
verbal IOI or a direct opener such as ‘I had to come over here and find out
what you’re all about.’ If your BL is that of disinterest, you can IOD or use
an opinion opener. Likewise if you're dishonest, your words and body
language or tonality may not match. These incongruent signals can be
detected by women, who will tend to rely more on non-verbal
communication if having to choose.
Mirroring: Mimicking a person's gestures can create a sense of rapport.
Women tend to mirror other women far more often than men mirror other
men. A man tends to use his body more than his face to indicate his
attitudes. This has an evolutionary reason, in that a man who expresses his
emotions on his face may be taken advantage of by an enemy. On the
contrary, a woman primarily uses her face to express her feelings, so a
man should emphasize mirroring her facial expressions. In addition,
mirroring can include one's inflection and rate of speech, so a PUA should
typically speak at a rate equal to or slightly less than that of the target's
speech. If you need to assess whom in a group is the leader, look for who
is being most mirrored, and that will typically be your leader.
Body pointing: Pointing one's feet or entire body while standing, or one's
knee while seated, can convey interest or lack thereof. Make sure how you
point towards or away from a target reflects your desire to IOI or IOD, and
interpret the target's responses similarly.
Chapter Four
The Mystery Method (M3 Model)
The purpose of this chapter is not to reiterate the Mystery Method (MM),
but to embellish upon it. Those reading this who are unfamiliar should first
go and learn the MM, either via the printed 'Mystery Method' or the ebook
'Venusian Arts Handbook.'
The MM is also called M3 because there are 3 primary sections: Attraction
(A1-3), Comfort (C1-3) and Seduction (S1-3). These are broken down as
follows:
A1. The Approach
The PUA enters a set (can be a 1-set HB, a large mixed set (men and
women), or anything in between). PUA says something that captures the
set’s attention, called ‘hooking.’ They now want the PUA to stay in set with
them and make further convo. A 'cold approach' means you inject yourself
into a set which hasn't yet welcomed you. A 'warm approach' means the
target has given you an approach invitation (AI) such as smiling and
looking at you. These approaches involve talking to complete strangers,
whereas social circle game refers to running game on girls within your
group of friends. There are indirect approaches (such as using an opinion
opener, which doesn't appear as if you're running a pick-up) and direct
approaches (as in walking up to the target and stating how attracted you
are to her). With direct openers, you lay your hand on the table, with a sinkor-swim outcome, whereas with indirect openers, you can feel out the set
and gradually create attraction without setting off alarms.
David De Angelo estimates that only 30% of women are interested in
meeting someone new on a romantic basis. This means that 7 out of every
10 women you talk to may blow you out, even before you run game on
them. You will get blown out by sets…often a LOT of sets. Expect it and
don’t take it personally. Don’t let it affect your state. Even if you get a
phone number or an email address, many times you will be blown out the
next day. Sometimes women give their numbers out like candy, or do have
a fleeting connection with a man in a bar, but convince themselves not to
pursue it the following day (called backwards rationalization).
Approach anxiety (AA) can be crippling to many guys and is hard-wired in
our brains, even for those who are wealthy, successful, generally
comfortable with women, and good-looking. It is a self-imposed disease
that defies logical explanation. And yet there is a cure, and it requires
diving in, set after set.
Conquering AA: Have a Back Door Plan
By The Sheriff
I often approach by finding something to neg her on. Hopefully
something that can go on for a while. But the key is that I use
openers that overwhelm the set and almost force them to hook
to my opener. One time I heard this girl telling some guy
stories about when she was young. On my way by I looked
over my shoulder with feet pointed down the aisle and told the
guy, "don't believe a word of it." Now how are they not going to
hook on that? Of course they did and I went on with a "I just
don't know if I trust this one" shtick.
So why didn't I have AA? I didn't have AA because I had a
back door and didn't care how they responded - it simply didn't
enter into my plan. Had they responded unfavorably I would
have just stacked to "well, suit yourself but don't say I didn't
warn you." And I would have continued walking toward the
head.
Now if the same people were sitting at a table in the corner of
a restaurant and I had to walk into a dead end area to run an
opener that would be a different story altogether. Same group,
same opener, big difference in AA level.
Why? Because in scenario A my approach had two key
characteristics: 1) It was covert and subtle - nobody was
observing it, and 2) I didn't get myself into a sink or swim
situation - I didn't commit myself to the approach and I had an
exit strategy before hand.
Anybody will have AA when they start the long, obvious walk
toward a do-or-die situation with no back door. In doing this
you are putting yourself directly into a situation in which you
might find yourself walking back with your tail between your
legs with everyone watching. And this is made much worse if
you don't have a great deal of confidence in your opener and
in your inner game. Plus, in approaching without an exit
strategy you are putting control of the entire situation in the
hands of the set and giving them the power to seriously DLV
you in front of everyone. I guess if you are going to do that you
ought to have AA.
Finding an HB can be a challenge, and it may take a month or more of
searching to figure out the best times and places to meet the highest
number of targets. This is referred to as a target-rich venue. If you were a
game hunter you could either search all over the plains for the wandering
single prey, or you could find out where many of the prey gather and then
hunt there. For the time expended, it makes more sense to sarge targetrich environments, and in the dating world this is typically late at night at
bars and clubs. If you are the kind of guy who does not frequent these
venues or goes to sleep at 9PM, you’ll need to now become somebody
who does stay up late (3-4 AM sometimes) and goes to these places. Your
training will be vastly accelerated if you consistently put yourself in these
target-rich venues.
Avoid the obvious when you approach. Tall girls get comments about their
height, beautiful women about their beauty, girls with tattoos about their
body art. It won’t stand out in the crowd and probably will send the signal
you’re trying to hit on her. Asking a girl if she saw the fight outside or if the
venue still has puppet shows will be totally unexpected, and will better
allow you to stack into a DHV routine without getting blown out.
Conquering AA: Embrace the Spotlight
By The Sheriff
Approach anxiety is somewhat of a misnomer. AA is just a
form of “performance anxiety.” People may experience
performance anxiety in many different situations including
taking an exam, playing in a sporting event, going on a job
interview and of course when talking to a beautiful woman.
Most Americans actually rate public speaking as their number
1 fear, ahead of even death.
Any time we are faced with a situation in which we must
perform in front of others we experience performance anxiety.
This anxiety is inversely proportional to our level of confidence,
self-assuredness and ability.
There are two ways we can reduce performance anxiety. One
is to reduce or eliminate the external pressure to perform by
avoiding the spotlight. This works well for beginners because
often beginners lack confidence and it is a good first step to
building confidence. Confidence after all, is the product of good
results.
Avoiding the spotlight, or flying under the radar, is a good start
but it only gets you so far. If you want to really become good
with women you will need to learn to embrace the spotlight
and thrive in it. Can you imagine a guy running for President
who is afraid of public speaking?
Ultimately, the key to really overcoming performance anxiety
lies in your confidence, your self-assuredness and your ability.
Confidence is not something we just wake up and decide to
have; confidence is the product of good results. Good results
are the product of ability, and ability is of course the product of
practice. Whether you are taking an algebra exam, shooting
free throws or chatting up an HB10, practice makes perfect.
Now I know this sounds like a daunting task, but it isn’t so bad
if you go about it the right way. Many aspiring PUAs make the
mistake of thinking that attempting to run game on a girl is a
unique form of human interaction, categorically different from
every other form. The good news is that it isn’t different at all.
Understanding this is very important because it will show in
your game. You must learn to interact with your target in the
same way you would interact with anyone else. If your target
perceives a difference in the way you communicate with her
verses the way you communicate with others, it will come
across as supplication and you will lose value in relation to her.
Practice talking to people. Start conversations with the guy
standing behind you in line or sitting next to you at the lunch
counter. Ask the old lady in the grocery store how to pick out a
good cantaloupe. Practice talking to beautiful women
WITHOUT trying to run game; try simply talking to them. After
doing this a while you will be surprised how easy it becomes.
You will also notice that this produces far less anxiety. It
produces less anxiety because you have removed the
performance element from the equation. When you simply talk
to people with no expectations or worries about the outcome,
there is no reason to feel anxious. It is impossible to fail when
you don’t care about success.
There are 300 million people in the US - half of them female.
There is simply no reason to assign a false sense of
importance to the outcome any given conversation with any
given girl. Get used to interacting with HBs just for the hell of it.
Start by chatting with random people just for the hell of it, move
on to chatting with good looking women just for the hell of it. As
you progress, your confidence and ability will improve and this
is what conquering performance anxiety is really about. Even if
you do receive some negative feedback, this can still be a
confidence-builder because you will come to realize how little
this actually matters. Remember when you learned to ride a
bike and how much you feared falling? Then the first time you
fell you realized it wasn’t so bad and you were much more
confident as a result. Getting blown out of a set is the same
thing.
As your confidence improves, you will see results, and will set
in motion a positive cycle that builds on itself. Before you know
it you will be approaching sets with ease and you will be on
your way to establishing true core confidence and inner game.
Eventually you reach the point where you achieve true core
confidence and inner game - the kind that comes from
success, not the BS that comes from repeating words of
affirmation in a mirror that you really don’t believe deep down
inside. When you achieve true core confidence, your entire
view of sets will change. At this point you will begin to perceive
yourself as having higher value than those you are gaming.
You will see your approach as an opportunity you are giving
the HB to prove to you that she is worthy of your attention. If
she responds poorly, you will see it as a failure on her part and
attribute it to her having poor social skills rather than as a
failure on your part.
This is a point every PUA must reach before he can truly
consider his game to be tight. Advanced techniques such as
dominant kino require that you are able to assert this frame in
a manner that is unwavering. The ability to maintain this frame
and to demonstrate this level of value is the very essence of
PU - everything else is commentary.
3 second rule: If you identify a target, give yourself no more than 3 seconds
to approach. If you identify her and then go stand next to her without
opening, you’ve communicated too much interest (even subconsciously)
and have already lowered your chances. It is better therefore to go right
into a set rather than stand or sit next to it for a noticeable time. There are
two exceptions to this: 1) if you want to first create social proof/preselection
in a venue by talking to everybody except the HBs, and 2) if the 3 minute
rule will be violated, you may want to wait. The 3 second rule is largely a
way of getting past approach anxiety, and many PUAs don't abide by it for
tactical reasons. One such proponent is AFC Adam Lyons, who relies on
initial social proof before opening the target.
Advanced tactic: Open the obstacle when the target is not
present. If you identify a set you want to open, you might wait
until the target goes to the bathroom and then open the set.
When she returns you’ve made yourself part of the set and she
will never suspect it was because of her. Likewise if you see
the obstacle at the bar, you can befriend him/her there and
then follow the obstacle back into the set as a new friend.
Typical A1 to A2 Transition:
1. Run opener.
2. The set will either IOD or IOI.
3. If IOD, try a different opener. If still IOD, eject (generally IOD is because
a BF is lurking or they're sushi). Sushi means 'cold fish,' where the set just
isn't willing to talk to you. A 'closed' set means you won't be able to run
game, such when you experience extreme sushi or a snuggly boyfriendgirlfriend 2-set.
4. If IOI or neutral, run the thread a bit more or cut to a new thread. If still
IOI, then you've entered A2. There is no time frame for this, but typically
keep your intro short. PUA's talk about 'holding court,' where he has
commandeered a set and is holding everyone's attention.
Double Hook Theory
By Hengman
Every PUA talks about the hook theory, but what if the girl shit
tests you right away and doesn't bite the hook? Especially if
this was on a single hook. Example: "Quick question, but what
is that you're drinking?" She could shit test with a, "Figure it out
for yourself."
Now, in double hooking, the target would have two options.
She would either bite one side of the hook, or bite another side
of the hook -- thus, double hooking. Double hooking should be
BOTH a situational and opinion opener. It can be direct or
indirect. Example: "Quick question, but what is it that you're
drinking? (situational) And is it good? (opinion)." She might shit
test one, but she would have to answer the other one, by which
double hooking is effective because it would throw her off
guard.
Opinion openers can feel awkward. Let's face it, it's strange for a guy to
walk up to a set in a bar and ask their opinion about something like midgets
or falling from a building. So Decibel came up with 'the cushion.' Instead of
starting with an opinion, you can introduce some unrelated topic briefly
meant to lessen the weirdness of the opinion opener. The cushion is a
dead-end opener that is intended only to make the opinion opener seem
less awkward. It typically doesn't hook, but is socially acceptable as a
doorway into the convo. An example of a cushion:
'Hey...I heard this club used to be a pet store/bank/post office.'
Then go into the actual opinion opener before they can respond: 'Hey guys,
let me ask you something...' This brief statement cushions the set from the
strangeness of the opinion opener, which then seems more like an
afterthought.
The Wave (Decibel)
Sometimes there'll be a girl over in the corner or locked in with
a large group of guys, and you're not sure how to approach.
One thing I often do is put a big smile on my face, wait for her
to make eye contact, and then start waving like an idiot. If she
looks sleepy, I'll do a nappy-time gesture. Usually the girl will
wave back or smile. Boom! You've just warmed the set up.
Now you can go over and talk to her. Or you can gesture for
her to come to you if the wave really lit her up. A fun variation
(credit Gambler) is to point and her, then you, then over your
shoulder as if to say 'let's leave', and then make the nappytime gesture; this is nonverbally and humorously asking her if
she wants to leave with you to go to bed. You can do this
before you open, or before you reopen a target you previously
gamed.
It is recommended you use a false time constraint (FTC), which can be
verbal as in 'I need to go rejoin my friends in a second, but...' or non-verbal,
as in body rocking away from the set, or holding your car keys as you pass
by and open the set over your shoulder. FTCs should be introduced very
early in the set as it helps disarm your audience by making you look nonneedy.
Rob Judge compares gaming to a game of pool:
Yeah, I just like the pool analogy because it gets me to slow
down and consider things. I'm such a bad pool player because
I just take the stupid, obvious shots when I should be looking
at angles and ways to bank the ball. When a girl throws some
shit test at me, I'm usually quick to respond in the obvious,
AFC way until I think of the pool analogy, stop, think it over,
and take another angle.
A2. Getting her to Chase
The PUA demonstrates higher value, primarily to others in the set besides
the target, called befriending or disarming the obstacle(s). The PUA will
convey disinterest actively to the target by his BL (e.g. feet face the
obstacle) and by negging the target. The goal of A2 is to inspire the target
to begin sending the PUA IOIs. Typically 3 IOIs are needed to progress to
A3, but actually the strength of the IOI is just as important as the quantity.
For example, 3 weak IOIs (e.g. verbally showing slight interest though BL
exudes disinterest) may not carry as much weight as 1 or 2 very strong
IOIs (e.g., verbally showing mild interest but BL conveys very strong
interest).
When a target asks you for your name, it is an IOI. Your goal in A2 is to
look for IOIs, so why squander a perfectly good IOI when you could wait
and see if she gives it to you? So offering your name is not necessary. The
exception is on direct approach, where you're going for broke anyway. If
you’re asked your name, give it to the set, and that might be a good time to
introduce your wing or pivot if he/she is floating around outside the set. The
wing/pivot could then get to work in distracting the obstacle(s) while you
game the target.
The 3 minute rule: You have 3 minutes to lock in. That is, if someone else
in the room looked at your set, it should appear as if the target or set is
gaming you, and not vice versa. It is acceptable to violate the 3 second rule
if you don’t think you’d be able to honor the 3 minute rule, because of
probable interrupts and the like.
A PUA should always bring value to a set, as opposed to just taking value.
In other words, if he enters with an upbeat vibe and conveys value through
his body language and stories, the set will find him valuable. If he brings
the set's energy down, negs too hard or appears to be using the set for his
own needs, he is taking value away and this lowers his own value.
Attraction switches should be embedded in the convo. The key attraction
switches according to Mystery are:
1. Willingness to emote, and to do so appropriately. A man’s emotional
circuitry needs to fire appropriately, as in not getting angry over trivial
things, and as in defending her when she is attacked. A PUA should be
passionate about certain things, and should demonstrate it in his speech.
2. Protector of loved ones, such as good friends, animals, kids and
family.
3. Pre-selection. If you have value for other women, you have value for the
target. Make the target see or know that you have many women in your life.
Saying it is not enough; there should be evidence of it that makes her feel a
pang of jealousy: a text message on your phone, pics on your phone of you
with girls, a blond hair on your coat or in your car, and a solitary bottle of
nail polish on your bathroom shelf mixed in with your stuff. If you want to be
even sneakier, make the nail polish 'disappear' before her next visit to your
place; it'll look like whoever owned it had come by to reclaim it. Be
prepared to give a reason why it's not there anymore! Put an opened pack
of sanitary napkins under your bathroom sink. Jealousy plotline is a
variation of pre-selection. Willingness to walk away is a subset of preselection; a roll-off is an example of this.
4. Leader of men. Can be something simple like running a meeting.
5. Risk taking. Not just does risky things, but has the daring to pull off
stunts.
According to David DeAngelo, the features that attract women are:
1. Means (material items/wealth)
2. Power
3. Fame
4. Looks and height
5. Exclusivity (off limits such as married, hard to acquire such as royalty)
6. Personality
The Slut Offensive (Decibel)
This is the equivalent of a carrot dangled by the woman, or
cock teasing. You approach a girl and realize she is absolutely
bombarding you with sexual gestures and convo. Do you play
along or continue to show active disinterest?
Why it happens
Woman may seek validation or may want you to buy her a
drink.
How to recognize it. Some examples:
Sexually provocative talk (she may mention people she's slept
with - completely irrelevant to the convo)
"I'm so drunk" (sometimes this is an invitation for you to
seduce her - a disingenuous plausible deniability)
Sexual gestures (she may make blow job motions or massage
her own ass)
Showing or hiding sexual pics (may act like she has explicit
pics on her phone and hides them from you)
How to respond
1. Compliance testing. A girl who really values you enough to
sleep with you right now will ping kino and comply with your
hoops. She may not comply with even the most basic requests
such as to sit or walk somewhere in the bar. She does not
ping kino either, in spite of her out-pouring of IOIs. In contrast,
women who want to get laid don't just talk the talk, they walk
the walk.
2. IOD/neg/shift body language away. Do not IOI in response
to her seductive talk.
The results
HB drops the overt sexual behavior, but stays in set and
moves into comfort once you qualify her. This girl might seem
to suddenly lose steam, but is interested in you because: a)
she tells you, b) she does not wander off to talk to another
dude, c) she opens up her life story to you.
DHVs (Demonstrations of Higher Value) are highly subjective. That is, if
you're a world class yodeler, this hobby will be a DHV to a girl who is
aspiring to yodel but possibly a DLV to your typical club party girl.
Understand the level of sophistication of your target and calibrate your
DHV accordingly.
A3. The Art of the Compliment
The PUA has gained sufficient IOIs from the target in A2 and can now
isolate the target while qualifying her. Two things need to happen during
A3: first, the target needs to qualify herself, and second, the PUA needs to
validate the target's attraction. There are many ways to qualify the target,
but the end result of A3 is this: she believes that the PUA was initially
disinterested in her, but clearly now she has demonstrated she meets his
high standards and expectations, and he is consequently pursuing her. The
point of A3 is to get the target to feel like she has successfully
demonstrated to the PUA that she is worth his time and attention, that she
meets his high standards in choosing women.
The PUA is allowed to compliment the target. A WILKY is a statement that
explains Why I Like You. ‘You’re pretty’ doesn’t suffice. ‘You carry yourself
with a lot of poise and I find that attractive’ is better, and if you want can be
followed by a release: ‘too bad you’re such a nerd.’
BHRR (Bait-Hook-Reel-Release): An example is the following dialog:
PUA: (bait: a hoop for her to jump through) So do you cook?
HB: (hook: she qualifies herself) Yes, I make the best meatballs.
PUA: (reel: you reward her IOI with IOI) Awesome, I love meatballs.
PUA: (release: you add an IOD calibrator) Too bad I only date tall girls.
Qualifying takes three basic intensities:
1. Subtle, as in having her jump through mild hoops: 'here hold this,' 'do
you cook?' 'are you adventurous?'
2. Medium level: Examples: BHRR; 'What are you most passionate
about?'; or ‘Who are you? What’s your story?’ said not in an antagonizing
way but with a sense of genuine interest. ‘I’m drawn to you…it’s weird.’
3. Slam dunks: 'I never expected to find a girl in a bar with so much depth
and intelligence' or ‘I don’t know why, but I’ve become very fascinated by
you,’ ‘why am I so drawn to you…rationalize this for me.’ Use a slam dunk
to seal the deal before you get too deep into comfort, just so there is no
doubt in her mind that you consider her uniquely qualified far above all the
other girls in the room. Or use them to have her start qualifying herself.
The Yes Ladder is a series of questions or commands that quickly tests
compliance. For example, if you want to get a girl out of her seat so you
can sit down you can use the following Lovedrop ladder:
'Let me ask you something. Are you smart? Let me see your hand. Ok,
hold it up like this. Now stand for a second. Ok, now spin around for me.'
You then IOI for her compliance, such as praising her spin.
Questions that qualify (be prepared to answer these yourself): What's your
motto in life? If your life had to be rated like a movie, what rating would it
get? Do you consider yourself adventurous? What one magical power
would you most want and how would you use it? When you get into a cold
pool, do you wade in slowly or jump right in? What's your worst phobia in
life? When you go out shopping do you ever get buyers remorse? How are
you with kids? Animals? What were you like as a kid? What kind of guys do
you date? Who's shower curtain would you most like to be? How would you
rate yourself as a kisser, 1-10?
Hoops are tasks you ask her to perform, or vice versa. You can jump
through her hoops, but it should be on your terms. For example, if she asks
you to buy her a drink, you tell her to buy the first round. If she wants you to
go somewhere with her in the club, you can ask her to first answer one of
the above qualifiers. If she asks your age, make her guess. If she wants to
have sex, ask her to say 'please' first. By having her jump through your
hoops, you are maintaining frame control, and this shows your alphaness.
The hoops you ask her to jump through in comfort are smaller than those in
attraction (e.g. holding your drink is a big hoop, kissing you first is a smaller
hoop, letting you have sex with her is the smallest hoop). If she is truly
interested in something you have to say, then you can respond directly
without considering it a hoop.
One tactic that is used is called the double bind, in which you offer the
target a choice of two options, which can be opposites but end up win-win
for you either way she responds. For example, you can ask her to qualify
the kind of sex she likes, which presupposes she wants to have sex with
you: 'Are you the kind of girl who likes to party all night until the wee hours,
come home exhausted and then have wild, drunk sex before you pass out,
or are you the kind that likes to stay home and snuggle, watch a movie,
and then have three hours of marathon sex?'
Decibel's Waffle Qualifier
'Ok, so you're athletic...and you're creative...but the big
question is...can you make waffles?'
Once you have attraction, plug two attributes about her you
admire into the above statement. This subcommunicates she
is meeting your high standards, but you need to know if she
can make a decent breakfast tomorrow morning after you pull
her tonight.
As you get better at pick-up, you will realize that comfort is where girls will
decide to sleep with you, hence the saying 'The game is played in comfort.'
As a result, you may try to shorten your attraction phase in order to move
quickly into comfort. However, when you demand a woman to qualify
herself too soon, she may get offended. Why should any woman qualify
themselves to a total stranger in a bar? If your target seems offended, you
have not built enough attraction and have gone to A3 too soon. You may
be able to correct this by DHVing and qualifying yourself. Compliance
testing should start to assess whether you have won her over again, and if
so, move more gradually into A3.
C1. Friendly Convo
The PUA has accepted the target as living up to his standards, and she is
still interested in him as a potential mate. He isolates her to show he is truly
interested in her beyond bar chatter. The two now enter the comfort or
rapport-building stage. Conversation ensues that highlights common
interests.
Mini-isolation occurs when a PUA positions himself so that he and his
target are part of the larger set, though essentially conversing aside from
the group. Sometimes out of necessity, mini-isolation must occur, though in
general an actual move within the venue to fully isolate is a more potent
tactic. It demonstrates the PUA's ability to lead her, and puts her in the
mindset to bounce outside the venue. She also drops her ASD, which may
still be up and inhibiting her if her friends are in close proximity.
Use techniques that include jealousy plotline, vulnerability and grounding
sequences. ‘My brain has been hijacked’ should start here to help with
LMR. That is, she should know you are entering this relationship for
reasons other than just getting laid, and that you already miss her when
she’s away. Starting this approach during S2 is too late to be effective.
It may be hard for nice guys to use jealousy plotline. A man finds a woman
who’s interested in him, and his instinct is to preserve the bond that is
forming. It seems mean or risky, but the man should establish jealousy and
demonstrate preselection to his target. This can be done both by making
mention of women in his life, or by running game on other women in
proximity to the target. Preselection/jealousy is arguably the most potent of
the attraction switches.
C2. The Game is On
The PUA and target have passed basic friendly convo and are now
engaged in an interaction (both physical and verbal) that is not sexual but
is intimate. There is no confusion that either party has the intent of ‘making
a new friend,’ and it is understood that the end result of this encounter will
be sex or romance.
Time bridge to a pre-established event for Day 2. Tell stories. Engage your
friends to show how respected you are in the tribe. Multiple venue
bounces. Push-pull continues.
Key aspects to continue during comfort include vulnerability, being upbeat,
showing passion and purpose in life, hitting the attraction switches, identity
grounding, and being cool, intriguing and mysterious. The PUA should
introduce talk that is laced with sexual remarks or questions.
A bounce from the original venue should ideally occur during comfort.
“Seeding” refers to the implantation of thoughts into a target's mind during
the seduction. For example, when a girl mentions Mexican food, you can
become enthusiastic about a particular near-by taco stand. Then when it's
time to bounce, you can reintroduce the taco stand as a bounce venue,
because you have seeded the concept earlier with exciting terms like 'the
most amazing chimichangas' or 'décor so tacky you'll think you just
stepped into a Tijuana brothel.'
C3. Deep Comfort
Bounce or time-bridge to an intimate location where sex may occur, such
as your home. A far more intimate exchange unfolds where sex can
realistically occur.
Deep Rapport Builder (IN10SE)
This is a rapport builder as well as an opportunity for
anchoring. In addition, it really shows that you GET IT, when it
comes to "relationships", when a chick brings it up.
I had to come up with a good response on the fly when a few
of the gals I have been out with lately have asked me what I'M
looking for in a "relationship". I normally don't like to bring up
the "R" word, but when a gal brings it up, you have to have a
good reply...one that will show them that you are intelligent,
that you have it together, that you are sophisticated, and that
there is more to you than meets the eye.
Now the context of using this is that I have only used it with
gals in a casual environment, (a bookstore, coffeeshops,
restaurant). Haven't tried it in clubs nor do I think it would work
in a club setting. This is for when you are alone, having one of
those one on one, deep rapport conversations, as a prelude to
(a few steps before) the full close. Here was my response...
and every time I've used it so far, it has gotten deep levels of
rapport (it became about them seducing ME) as well as broken
down any resistance.
As far as anchoring, I used my fingers (pointing to them).
Actually using my fingers as an anchor was kind of a subtle
sexual signal, because I would put my 3 right hand fingers up
(one finger for each value, as if counting), and point to them
with my left index finger and then would form a "ring" with my
thumb and index finger of my left hand that would encircle the
two fingers of the other hand... and as I talked I subtly slid my
encircling hand up and down over my fingers (first each of the
2 together and then the 3 all together at the end).
“I have a new theory about all relationships and what makes
up the ideal one.
First of all you need PASSION. This is where you have a
physical chemistry with this person, where you feel drawn to
this person that you’re with, you may even feel a warm feeling
right here in your stomach and maybe it spreads all over your
body when you're with this person… where you can lose track
of time and give yourself completely to this experience…
Next you need INTIMACY. This is where you feel an emotional
connection with this person, like you’ve known them before,
and like you were always meant to know this person… like this
was meant to be and where you feel completely comfortable
and close… and you may feel it right here in your heart…
Then you need COMMITMENT. Philosophers have called this
a sense of “duty”… where you feel secure, knowing that this is
someone that is here for you, that we both choose to be
together… and this is someone that you can see yourself with
now and in the future…
Now, all relationships are based on varying degrees of each
one of these elements.
For example if you have just passion, but no intimacy or
commitment, then that would be like just physical infatuation.
Like a one night stand or something… nothing more, nothing
less…
If you have just intimacy, but no passion or commitment, then
that would be just friendship. And we all have those…
If you have just commitment, but no passion or intimacy, then
that would be an empty relationship. Like a lot of married
people out there… so sad.
Then you can have passion and intimacy, but no commitment.
This is like a “Romantic affair”… and maybe the knowledge
that it is something that's now or never… or that you have no
guarantees about, makes the passion and intimacy even more
intense…
And you can have passion and commitment, but no intimacy.
That is like people who stay together because they really like
the sex.
And you can have intimacy and commitment but no passion.
That would be like grandma and grandpa who are together for
companionship, but cant remember the last time they did it.
And of course the ideal, as with all things… is about balance,
where you can have just the right amount of passion, just the
right amount of intimacy, and just the right amount of
commitment… well… now that I think about it, an extra little bit
more passion would be nice… what do you think?”
S1. Pre-sex
Physical intimacy such as foreplay, but short of sex. The PUA can look for
IOCs in determining when it is appropriate to go from C3 to S1.
IOCs: Indicators of Consent (Decibel)
IOIs are a way a PUA can tell when it is time to move into A3.
And when a girl qualifies, he can initiate comfort, technically
speaking. But the cues that enable the PUA to move from
comfort into S1 have never been defined. For this purpose,
Decibel has created the IOC, or Indicator of Consent. While it
is obvious the girl is interested, an IOC goes beyond this and
gives indication that she may be consenting for him to start the
seduction phase. It is not however consent for sex, merely
seduction, as there still is the issue of LMR to address. Here
are some IOC examples:
1. Any attempt by the girl to initiate seduction. This may
include her removing his clothes or her own clothes, or getting
sexually intimate.
2. If he calls her in the middle of the night and say he's bored,
and she agrees to come over, there is an implication that it
might be for more than casual convo.
3. She starts making possessive comments. As an example of
a mild degree, if a man continually gets phone calls from other
women during a date, she has a right to become irritated. He
owes her that time while they're together, and essentially for
that date she possesses him. This form of possessiveness is
generally acceptable. At the extreme, she may become
extremely jealous and overly possessive. All of these degrees
of possessiveness are IOCs. In essence, when a girl is only
interested in friendship with a man she won't care about him
as a possession. But when she is ready to move into
seduction, she will start making it clear that he is now hers and
other women should stay away (whether in terms of a date, a
ONS (one night stand), or a LTR (long term relationship)).
While it is felt that 3 IOIs permit transition to A3, there is no set
number of IOCs a PUA looks for. Instead, he needs to
calibrate according to the context of the IOC and the quality of
it (a girl removing her bra is a stronger IOC than her asking
why there's an earring on the night stand). Further, IOCs are
date and time specific, so that if a girl gives off IOCs on one
date, on another, she may change her mind and the window
may close. The girl may give off IOCs but not be willing to act
on her desires right then and there; rather than go AFC and
ask her to define her feelings, the PUA should add another
IOC to the stack and then tally up the results when S1 may be
an option. If the girl has given sufficient IOCs of adequate
intensity, seduction may begin when the time and place are
right.
IOC Hoops
It is ideal to create hoops that will encourage her to send IOCs your way,
rather than wait for them to happen. Truth or Bare is a game you can play
in C3 to move things along. In truth or dare, she might dare you to do
something like eat dog food. We don't want to go there. To keep things on
the right track, the game we should play is called Truth or Bare. How it
works is the same. Each contestant decides if they want to tell the truth
about something, or else bare some part of them. It's win-win, because
your questions are devised to be sexual in nature (what's your funniest
sexual experience? have you ever done it in public? do you wax your ass?
and so on).
IOC hoops can be embedded in simple conversation. Creating a sexual
frame is extremely important to lay the groundwork for kino escalation,
even on day 1. For example, if she says she likes art, you can segue to
sculpture, then working with one's hands in general, then how important it
is to touch things in the environment, then landing on sensual touching. At
each step the window can be opened for her to give IOCs, and when they
occur, you can take this as an invitation to escalate.
In addition, IOCs can be pinged just as you would with IOIs. If a woman
sends out a strong sexual vibe too early, it may be a shit test (see the Slut
Offensive). However, if she is making sexually suggestive comments after
you have established comfort, you may assume these are genuine IOCs,
and should ping accordingly. Mistaking IOCs as shit tests will deflate the
sexual tension and may make escalation difficult later.
S2. Last minute resistance (LMR)
A woman’s anti-slut defense (ASD) comes up and the PUA must work to
move beyond this. Men don’t understand the fear women feel during S2,
but it is comparable to the anxiety men often feel on the approach in A1.
Having sex for a woman is hard-wired as a high-risk behavior that could
lead to a lifetime of consequences.
Giving the line 'you've hijacked my brain' will help defuse this situation, but
this must be a campaign that runs from attraction clear through to this
point. Starting it at S2 is too late. For example when she comes back from
the restaurant bathroom say, 'Wow, you're gonna think this is weird, but I
actually missed you.' Show throughout the pick-up that she is hooking you
emotionally, so that sex is a natural part of the attraction you feel towards
her and not the main motive.
Other tactics include freezing her out. So if you get LMR, get up and surf
the net. Don't do it because you're angry, do it because you have a lot of
things you need to take care of, and since she's not in the mood you might
as well do it now. Never answer LMR with an emotional response.
Escalating very slowly may help diffuse LMR, so going for sensitive areas
like her breasts and genitals might need to be deferred while you work less
restricted areas. PUA AFC Adam tells his girls that he never has sex on the
first date; he then continues to plow while insisting they aren't going to
sleep together, to the point that the girl throws herself at him. This is a form
of sexual cat-string.
6 Types of LMR (Magic Man)
LMR #1: She Hardly Knows You
This is the most common form of LMR, and it occurs on almost
all one night stands. The girl likes you and wants to hook up,
but ultimately doesn’t know you very well and has concerns –
are you just using her for sex? Will you think she’s a slut? Do
you have any STD’s? This form of LMR is totally natural, and
is built into each girl from a young age. It can happen at any
point during the hookup – from you kissing her, to you touching
her breasts, to you to trying to take her pants off. This form of
LMR can be penetrated. The girl likes you and will have sex
with you, but only if she knows there will be no repercussions
afterward and she won’t feel bad about herself.
There are 2 strategies to combat this form of LMR:
1) Strategy to Overcome: Agree with Her in an Honest Manner
Difficulty Level: Easy
Her: “Oh my god, this is so bad, we hardly know each other.”
You: “You’re right, this is bad. We do hardly know each other
and we should stop.”
Agreeing with her that you shouldn’t have sex sounds like a
risky proposition; you are confirming that her doubts are
indeed valid, so what’s to prevent her from just ending the
hookup there? Fortunately, it doesn’t work that way. By
agreeing with her, you’re showing her that you’re not all about
sex, which means that you aren’t using her for sex, which
means that you won’t think less of her for having sex with you
this soon. On a subconscious level it might even go further,
that because you’re not all about sex, you probably haven’t
had that much sex, which means you are clean (STD-free).
This might explain why girls don’t always require condoms,
even after giving a guy LMR for the very reason that he might
not be clean.
2) Strategy to Overcome: Agree with Her in a Joking Manner
Difficulty Level: Easy
Her: “Oh my god, this is so bad, we hardly know each other.”
You: “I agree, we should, so I’m going to stop unhooking your
bra with my teeth.”
By agreeing with her in a joking manner, you are not taking her
comments seriously, and by not taking her comments
seriously, you’re showing that sex isn’t that big of a deal to
you. A guy who instead rationally argues for why a woman’s
LMR is unfounded is showing that he cares about sex, and
thus might be using her for sex.
The first method is about neutralizing her LMR, while the
second method is about being non-reactive. What the two
methods have in common is that they both show (in indirect
ways) that you are not all about sex, which is the root cause of
LMR. Which one you choose doesn’t matter. If one doesn’t
work then switch to the other. If using them both doesn’t work
then do a freeze out, but make sure to never show any
annoyance. If the freeze out doesn’t work then go to sleep and
try again in the morning.
LMR #2: She does Push/Pull on You
This is never-ending LMR; the girl resists your advances one
minute, attacks you in a fit of passion the next minute, and
then pushes you away a minute later. It’s a continuous cycle,
beginning the moment you kiss the girl and continuing up until
the moment you climax. You’re constantly moving 2 steps
forward and 1 step back, and then the cycle starts over the
next time you hook up. These girls are generally very confident
and outgoing, and derive more pleasure out of the game
aspect of the hookup than they do the actual sex.
There are 3 different strategies to overcome this kind of LMR
1) Strategy to Overcome: Do Push/Pull on Them
Difficulty Level: Fairly Easy
This form of LMR is a direct shit-test that girls consciously
attempt. They want to know that you’re manly enough to see
through it and not be broken down. The best way to overcome
it is to neutralize their push/pull by doing it back to them. When
she pulls away, attack her. When she attacks you, pull away.
By doing this same thing to her (which probably no guy has in
the past), she’ll view you as having equal status to her and
she’ll also see you as someone that she does not yet have
under her sexual spell. The only way to get control of you is to
give you sex and make you come back for more.
2) Strategy to Overcome: Push until the Very End, then do a
Freeze Out.
Difficulty Level: Medium
The pushing will progress you slowly towards sex, but then at
the very end she will most likely freeze you out and end the
hookup. To counter this, you need to freeze her out first. This
strategy should also work, but will take much longer and will
only break down her resistance in the end, whereas the first
strategy completely neutralizes her resistance from the start.
3) Strategy to Overcome: Put the Condom on and Fuck Her
Difficulty Level: Medium
This strategy is controversial for obvious reasons, and not
advised. Subconsciously the girl wants you to physically
overpower her. Her attacking you is a test to see if you’re
strong enough to overpower her, both mentally (by not being
phased) and physically (by overpowering her). By physically
overpowering her, you prove your strength as an alpha male,
and these girls only want to fuck the most alpha of males.
Also, being rough is what turns these girls on sexually; kissing
does not go as far. By being rough with her, you reach a point
where the girl is so turned on that she can’t say no.
LMR #3: She Wants to Know that She's Different
This LMR happens when the girl wants to make sure she’s
special to you. This could be because she feels a real
connection to you, and thinks it could blossom into a
relationship. In this case she doesn’t want to potentially
jeopardize something good by sleeping with you. It could also
be because she knows you’re a player and doesn’t want to
give herself away like all those other girls; she wants to know
that she means more.
Strategy to Overcome: none
Difficulty Level: Hard
This LMR is not spontaneous the way the other kinds of LMR
are; it is strategically planned ahead of time by the girl. In that
sense it isn’t really LMR at all; it’s only included here because
you never know when it might occur. This is the kind of LMR
that Style got when he told girls he’s a PUA, and even he
couldn’t overcome it (not in the short term at least). The good
news is that if you continue to have tight game then she’ll
definitely have sex with you eventually. In this sense, it’s
probably best to just wait until a Day 2 or Day 3.
LMR #4: She’s Prudish
This LMR has little to do with typical anti-slut defense and more to do
with her lack of sexual experience and prudish nature. Some girls, no
matter how tight your game is, will simply not hook up with you the
first night. Because of their lack of sexual experience and introverted
personalities, these girls are overly self-conscious and take longer to
get out of their comfort zone. A typical HB party girl will rarely fall into
this category, as they’ve had enough social interaction and sexual
experience that they are comfortable. On the other hand, a young girl
that you met in the library might fall into this category. She has fewer
guys hitting on her and is still not fully comfortable around the
opposite sex.
Strategy to Overcome: Build Deep Rapport and Mix with Kino
Difficulty Level: Hard
Stay in comfort as long as possible with these girls and build a lot of
rapport. Go heavy on the routines and cold reads. Go light with kino
at first and then slowly build it up. Mix the kino in with your routines; if
you touch her when she is having an emotional realization, it will be
ingrained in her subconscious and she will feel more comfortable
around you. Ultimately, this probably won’t be enough, and she won’t
sleep with you for the same reasons that your high school girlfriend
made you wait 6 months; she’s just not comfortable getting physical.
One more warning: do not push too hard! If you do too much to bring
a girl out of her sexual comfort zone, she’ll be gone forever. It’s your
job to heed the warning signs and decide when to shut down and
wait for another night.
LMR #5: She Doesn’t Want to Screw Over Her Friend
This LMR occurs when her concerns about a good female friend
outweigh her concerns about hooking up with you. It can happen in
any of the following instances:
1) You previously dated her close female friend
2) She knows your girlfriend personally
3) She doesn’t want to leave her female friend alone with your
creepy roommate
#1 is the most serious kind because the friend will probably find out
about it, thus putting their friendship in jeopardy, which matters more
to her than you do (at the moment at least). #2 is less serious
because the girlfriend is less likely to find out, and #3 is the least
serious. Note that this form of LMR does NOT include instances
where a female friend tells her that you’re an asshole and that she
shouldn’t hook up with you. People don’t like to be controlled, and
this will mostly likely make her want you more.
Strategy to Overcome: Take Full Responsibility
Difficulty Level: Medium/Easy
If the LMR involves #1 or #2, do not rationally argue that the female
friend in question isn’t a big deal, and that she won’t find out.
Instead, agree with the girl that what you’re doing is “so bad”, but
that it just “happened”, and that if the friend finds out that you’ll take
full responsibility.
If the LMR involves #3, then just make sure the friends are as
comfortable as possible in the living room. Chat them up before you
take your girl in the bedroom. Have them play with your puppy. Once
you have your target isolated in your room, then come out of the
room to get a drink, ask how the movie is, then go back into your
room.
LMR #6: She has a Boyfriend
If you meet a girl in a bar and she has a boyfriend, she may or
may not tell you. If she does not tell you then that’s a clear
indication she’s willing to hookup, and this form of LMR will not
happen. If she does tell you then it’s harder, but not
impossible. This form of LMR will be similar to the first kind of
LMR (she hardly knows you), as she will say things like “this is
so bad” or “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
Strategy to Overcome: Pretend that you have a Girlfriend and
Take Full Responsibility
Difficulty Level: Medium
By pretending that you have a girlfriend, you are relieving her
of some guilt. She’s not the only one cheating; you are too.
Take full responsibility for all escalation and talk about how
much she turns you on. Chances are her boyfriend isn’t giving
her this much attention, and you’ll look better as a result. Do
not justify why she should cheat on her boyfriend, and do not
discuss similarities between your mutual predicaments. Frame
the hookup around you being the bad one, and that you were
just so turned down by her that you couldn’t control yourself
and one thing led to another and it just happened.
No LMR:
Most guys think only more experienced women who are
comfortable with their sexuality do not give LMR. This is not
true; there are actually 5 different types of girls who do not give
LMR:
1) Cougars; older women who are single and don’t get out
much.
They have outgrown any slut complexes they used to have,
and are just out to have a fun time and satisfy their own needs.
2) Unattractive girls, particularly “fat chicks.”
These girls never get hit on and have few opportunities for sex.
To make matters worse, they constantly see their hot friends
being hit on and hooking up. If an opportunity does come up,
they don’t want to squander it.
3) Younger girls (18-19) who have not yet acquired a slut
complex.
These girls have only had sex with a couple guys in their life,
and they’re horny for more. The problem is that they have few
opportunities for sex because guys their age suck at pickup,
and the girls aren’t old enough to go to places (bars, clubs)
where they can meet older, more experienced guys.
4) Girls on vacation
Girls on vacation have no slut complexes because they know
they’re never going to see anyone again. Thus they have no
reputation to worry about, nor do they have worry about the
guy calling the next day. Also, this is one time when it’s
deemed OK and even traditional to hookup (i.e. spring break,
Vegas), so girls can drop their guard for a few days without
fear of consequence.
5) Girls who are on the rebound
These girls just got out of a relationship and want to go crazy
for a night. This is another rare time where it’s deemed
acceptable for girls to hookup, so they temporarily drop their
anti-slut defense, as well as their standards. If you’re a guy
who hooks up with these girls, you’re getting “lucky.”
There is a phenomenon Decibel calls the S2 zone. You may get 10 or more
hours of comfort with a girl, or sometimes be in a LTR, but the girl won't
have sex. She'll engage in foreplay, but won't escalate all the way over
many dates. Or similarly, a girl may stop having sex while in a LTR and
permit foreplay. In short, you can only go as far as S2 with her now, but
aren't quite in LJBF zone. She may give a number of reasons, such as
wanting to wait until marriage, being angry at men for only thinking about
sex, being concerned about her period or getting pregnant, and so on. In
truth, the underlying cause may be LMR. If the usual anti-LMR tactics don't
work, consider addressing this logically with her to help resolve any logical
justifications she may have. If you continue to meet resistant, strongly
consider moving on to the next girl.
S3. Sex
Having known her briefly, for the majority of girls sex should initially
establish a connection, not be perverse, if you intend on having a LTR.
This takes 4-10 hours, or 7 hours on average, to get from meeting to sex,
including dates and phone calls. Buyers remorse occurs when she
impulsively consents to sex or even foreplay, then develops regret and
vanishes thereafter, not answering your calls.
Advanced Tactic: Shock and Awe (S&A) (Ciaran)
An SOI is a statement of intent or interest. In S&A the interest
is your desire for her. Keep the delivery humorous but never
joking. Never show any actual hostility or anger. 10% of what
you say is telling her how hot she is, the other 90% the ‘blame
frame’ of telling her how she is affecting you because of her
hotness. Success depends on maintaining this congruent
frame. She is hot and you’re upset about how it’s breaking you
down, and she’s being unfair. You can’t stand up to all her
artillery. If she apologizes for being so hot, you blast her that
she isn’t sorry, that she’s deliberately trying to tear you down
with her looks. Insist on wanting to get to know her, and not
giving in.
1. Open with an SOI, then stack SOIs. Example: “Excuse
me, but WHAT? What do you WANT? Do you want me to
just walk on BY? I mean, you're absolutely STUNNING. Do
you want me to just PRETEND like that doesn't affect me? I
mean, HOW? I'm just some GUY. I can't turn it off. What
are you trying to DO to me, woman?"
2. Constantly escalate kino. Make it obvious that you’re
fighting the intense desire to touch her, and barely keeping
it together. Blame her for this.
3. Continue to express desire, give advice on how she can
make herself less hot like putting a bag over her head or
gaining 20 pounds, so then maybe you can talk to her
without being so turned on. Explain how out of character it
is for you to feel and act like this, but again it’s her fault.
4. If she gets offended, make a sincere apology for your
disrespect, but never the SOI or kino.
5. Repeat the above until you have sex with her. The entire
process should take minutes.
Somewhat similar to Shock and Awe is TD's sexual predator routine, which
puts all the blame on the girl. See the routines chapter for more
information. Also refer to the chapter on Sex.
Chapter Five
Direct Approach
By Dimples
Going direct, I hold, is not a pickup method. It is no proven system, and it is
no definition of game. Going direct is simply the ability to be confident and
congruent in an honest way – to be yourself.
When I first started my pickup career, I would dedicate a major portion of
my everyday to the memorization of hundreds of theories, methods, and
routines. I would delve in the field-tested systems of the most glorified
seduction gurus, hoping that by doing so I would condition myself to their
way of communication – their successful identity.
And I wasn’t wrong.
In a matter of months, my good ol’ shy, shaky, and nervous self was
nowhere to be found. I was armed with a canned & deadly weapon; a
weapon that changed my life. Seduction was a science, I thought; a
mathematical function with us humans the starring variables. It was up to
me, the puppet master, to suck every female around me into my new
passion, my new game.
All of a sudden, I was successful with women. I could talk to women, I
could attract women, I could seduce women. I was CONFIDENT around
women.
And that is when the realization came to me. Even when I forgot the lines,
skipped the routines, and spat on the method, I was STILL confident and
successful with women. The method that I so previously worshiped was
somewhat insignificant. All of these lines, games, and tests were nothing
but a manual to get me through my natural social barriers; nothing but a
cure to my low self-esteem. By going through these scripted conversations,
I was subconsciously learning that social preconceptions are meant to be
shat on. Social law is long gone, and I am free to act out the free man that I
am.
But I am not here to talk about Inner Game. I am here to talk about Direct
Game. And although the two are interlinked, they are two entirely different
subjects.
The ability to go direct is the ability to say what you WANT to say, and
MEAN IT. The problem with most of today’s pickup methods is not that they
don’t work, but that they work in an incongruent way. I see guys running
around asking question that they don’t actually care about. They play their
scripted mind games on women and, sometimes to their own surprise, they
end up getting laid. They associate their success with the method that they
were using and they eventually turn into masters of social programming –
robotic social interpreters. When asked why they are successful, they say
“because I follow the rules.”
The funny thing is, though, that the rules have very little to do with their
results. By learning indirect game, such as the M3 model for example, most
guys subconsciously also learn how to flirt. I am a great believer in
push/pull dynamics for example, and I am convinced that it is a powerful
way of generating attraction. By learning how to flirt and by seeing results
and improvement, these guys, sometimes unknowingly, develop
confidence in their natural self and the process repeats. Most guys
eventually realize this, as they completely dump the system in favor of
going “natural” with their newly acquired confidence. And once these guys
experiment with the “natural” frame, some of them, especially the lazy ones
like me, turn their focus onto the fastest way to results: the direct way.
Why fastest? Let’s play a game of statistics. According to the M3 model, it
takes about 7-10 hours and about 3-4 different venues to begin a sexual
relationship with a woman. According to the direct approach? An hour, a
night, and some good logistics will do it. On the lines of the M3 model, it
takes at least thirty minutes of attraction, qualification, and comfort to kiss a
girl; and that is if you are willing to kiss her and “risk a flake.” Direct
approach? Three minutes, a natural curiosity, and some high quality alpha
balls.
And why is it that the direct approach is so fast and to the point? Simple…
When we are running game in an indirect manner, all we are doing is
promoting the impression that we are NOT there to hit on the woman; and,
therefore, the woman gets to know us and fall for us before she knows that
we are interested. When we are running game in a direct manner, on the
other hand, we are skipping sometimes hours of excruciating wellcalculated value games, and we are getting straight to the point by “coming
clean” and telling the woman what she is programmed to respond to.
Women are not stupid. They fully understand that when a man approaches
them all he wants is to get in their pants. Even when a man is ACTUALLY
lost and looking for the nearest and best coffee, or is TRULY worried about
his dear buddy Tom who is undergoing a nipple-enlargement procedure,
the woman will, at least in the first couple of minutes, assume that he is
after her vagina.
Let’s look at an example: Bobby sees a gorgeous woman sitting by the bar.
He musters up some courage, and then approaches her and tries to get
her to like him. “Hey, do you come here often?” or “What is that that you’re
drinking?” In reality, Bobby doesn’t give a damn about how often she
comes to that specific bar, or what is the name of the combination of
liquors in her glass. What Bobby really meant in those words was “hey,
would you like to have sex with me?” The woman knows it and Bobby may
know it too, but Bobby chose to not face it and make it the real reason for
his approach. Bobby was not natural in his wording. Bobby was not
HONEST, CONFIDENT, and ASSERTIVE; he was not DIRECT, and
therefore, was not her ultimate male. The woman will feel little to no
attraction towards Bobby, and will have no reason to invest in an
interaction with him and figure if he’s what she’s looking for. And by that,
Bobby is blown out.
Now don’t get me wrong. Walking up to a feminine beauty and telling her
that you want to fuck her may be ballsy and congruent, but it will probably
not work. The society we live in today does not shy from labeling women as
sluts or other nasty words that they want nothing to do with. And although
the woman may like the ballsy to-the-face approach, she will have to reject
you under her assumption of social norms and regulations. What I do
promote is a reframed, yet not degraded form of the above-mentioned
approach. While sex still is a cultural taboo, attraction isn’t, and today’s
society permits and even encourages men to tell women that they find
them attractive. A woman and her siblings will not be offended by a sincere
and un-chodely compliment. And while “I want to fuck you” may get
rejected under conventional cultural norms, “I think you are absolutely
adorable” will not.
If we think about it, the two sentences mean the same thing under the
man’s intentions. But the wording is different. And while both sentences are
natural and direct – one is culturally fit and the other is not. And that is
where we draw the line on direct game. You can pull almost EVERYTHING
off if it is harmonious with the media and the culture you are surrounded by
– and if it is direct.
Opening
As long as the beginning of your interaction with the woman directly states
your intentions in a confident way, it is a direct approach. There is no
reason to think up routines and to practice scenarios when going direct; yet
if you are still uncomfortable with advanced flirting, they sure can help.
Let’s look at the Bobby example again, this time in a “how-to” manner.
Bobby sees a gorgeous woman sitting by the bar. He thinks that she is
absolutely adorable, and he decides to approach her. This time he is going
to be honest, and he is going to say exactly what is on his mind, yet he is
going to word it in a culturally accepted way.
Bobby: I thought you were absolutely adorable, so I just had to come say
hey! I’m Bobby.
CutieByTheBar: (a blushy, flirty, and sometimes shy “Bla Bla”)
She is hooked. Bobby’s exceptional confidence and honesty might have
triggered instant attraction. She knows that he means business, and she
can see that he is not afraid to directly address the reason for his
approach. Why is he not afraid? Because he is a man who takes what he
wants, when he wants, and where he wants. He is a man who rarely fails,
and he knows that if she rejects him he will just attract a different woman
with the same confidence that attracted her.
It is important to note that a woman will never rudely reject you if your
approach is direct and honest. It is against cultural norms for her to do so.
She may try to reject you in an indirect manner, by bringing up a
“boyfriend” for example, but that is nothing but just another barrier for you
to overcome.
Almost every good direct-style opening sentence has a drive. The drive is
the word of power, the hook. In the above example, the drive is ‘cute’. For
best results, we should all have a drive that is congruent to our identity.
Generally speaking, younger women respond best to more sweet and
childish drives such as ‘cute’, while older women best fit more mature
drives such as ‘sexy’.
I personally, as a very young PUA, adopted the word ‘cute’ and its neverending variations as the drive in my approach. What I also noticed is that
sometimes women will try to take on the drive that you are introducing,
especially when you were able to trigger instant attraction. If you tell her
that she is sexy, she will do her best to be even sexier for you. And if you
noticed how cute she is, she will make sure to flash her blushy smile as
much as she can.
Telling her your name
When you go direct it is important to tell her your name. Take her name,
too, and REMEMBER it. I usually tell her my name within the first 20
seconds of meeting her, if not immediately after opening. Sometimes the
girl will be too shocked by your direct approach that she will not know what
to say or how to react; and by giving her your name not only are you
making her feel slightly more comfortable, but you are also allowing her the
opportunity to respond to your forwardness in a natural way by giving you
her name and by continuing the culturally accepted name-exchange which
normally leads to an interview style conversation.
Kino
Maintaining a progressive physical interaction is extremely important to the
success of your approach. I like to initiate kino right from the beginning,
sometimes before I even get to say anything – especially when I am in an
environment that allows me to do so naturally. A loud club, for example.
(Arm on her shoulder/neck, moving her hair away from her ear while talking
into it) “Ok now seriously, I thought you were really cute so I just had to
come say hey!”
Touch her as much as you can. If you can get yourself into a position
where you are maintaining constant touch with her – even better. Holding
her hand while talking to her works great. Play with it in a sensual way –
see if she reacts. While talking into her ear in a loud environment, try
grabbing the back of her neck, right at the hair line; this is a great way to
naturally escalate towards kissing when it feels right.
It is your job as a pickup artist to identify sexual energy and to ride on its
waves. Don’t make the touch obvious; that’s creepo stuff. You want the
touch to seem as an unconscious part of your communicating self. You are
a touchy guy and you should not apologize for that. Identify discomfort, and
act appropriately. If she pulls away from one of your escalations, punish
her and pull yourself away, then go back in with less aggression. Wellcalibrated physical push/pull plays an important role at this stage.
Whatever happens, just make sure you always have healthy kino
dynamics. There is nothing more incongruent than a direct approach that is
missing the physical needed to back up the verbal.
It is important to note that night game is different from day game – even
when going direct; and although your approach and its wording will NOT
change, your physical escalation will. That is why it is SO important to
know how to attune your physical escalation. It is something that will
eventually come to you naturally. For example, I’ve been getting away with
kissing girls’ hands during the day lately, yet I will not recommend it to guys
who are still learning physical calibration.
How To Interview
After opening, you will need to push your interaction forward in a flirty way.
Being able to flirt properly is extremely important when going direct, and for
that reason I usually suggest that guys start out with indirect game, learn
how to flirt, and only then go direct. As powerful as the direct opener is, it
will not get you the girl by itself. And if you don’t prove to the girl that you
actually are an uncommonly fun, interesting, and flirty guy – she will have
no choice but to reject you.
Flirting, I believe, is push/pull. It is the ability to regulate sexual tension.
When the woman in front of you is riding an emotional roller coaster, you
are doing something right. I also believe that there is absolutely nothing
wrong with the long-targeted interview-style conversation. The general
problem with interview-style conversations is that they are carried out by
low-value unflirtatious males. Males who have nothing to offer, and
therefore hang on the woman’s cultural obligation to answer the question –
so they can only say “cool” and ask her another one. But what if the male
who’s asking the questions is fun and flirtatious? Will the “interview” still be
a never-ending exchange of yes’s, no’s, why-not’s, and really’s? Let’s go
back to our example:
The Chode Way:
Bobby: So where are you from?
CutieByTheBar: Santa Barbara.
Bobby: Cool. What do you do?
CutieByTheBar: I’m a nurse.
Bobby: Nice. I’m an engineer. So do you come here often?
….. And so, boring, fucking on………
By the third question Bobby has lost most of the attraction he might have
triggered from opening, and he is now nothing but a bother to her funseeking emotional self. Bobby is blown out.
The PUA Way:
Bobby: So where are you from?
CutieByTheBar: Santa Barbara.
Bobby: No shit! I like… Totally thought that you’re from like Arkansas or
something! It’s those eyes! And I was expecting some southern biscuits
from you… Wait... Do they have good southern biscuits in Santa Barbara?
CutieByTheBar: No, why would they!?
Bobby: Ok now that’s disappointing… Does Santa Barbara have
ANYTHING that’s good?!
CutieByTheBar: The parties are awesome! It’s right next to the beach!
Bobby: Wait a second… Not only are you a cutie, but you love to party too!
Holy shit I’m like totally in love already!
The above is an excerpt from a real conversation I had with a cute brunette
at a mall in San Francisco yesterday. It is an example of how to ask an
interview question, and how to continue your conversation afterwards. The
purpose of the interview question is to find out more about her in a
culturally accepted way. And once you gather the specific information, you
can then focus on it immediately or store it in your memory and come back
to it later. I chose to focus on the topic she brought up, and I used it as the
base to a fun and flirtatious conversation.
If your improvisation skills aren’t that good yet, feel free to use canned
material that you are comfortable with. During the interview stage, the
content of your conversation doesn’t quite matter as long as you keep a fun
and flirtatious vibe. Your goal during this stage is to build a connection with
the woman while maintaining the frame that you are there to pick her up.
Make sure to restate your interest in her every now and then – that permits
an incredibly fast escalation. Push your physical escalation to its possible
limits. You will want to go for a kiss sometime during this stage, or a
number, if you are not in the proper setting.
NOTE: It is important to escalate appropriately. As a pickup artist, you
should know how to naturally regulate sexual tension. Every romantic
adventure is different in its way, and you should tend to each in a
personalized manner. Once you approach a good amount of women you
will start to get a feel for it. Slow down during the day, speed up at night.
Use the energy level of the specific location to your advantage.
Practice
I can guarantee that the first of your direct approaches will be absolutely
disastrous. You will feel extremely uncomfortable, and you will probably
want to get out of the situation as soon as possible. But those
embarrassing minutes are well worth it. Conditioning, I believe, is the most
important factor of one’s success. Get out there and experiment. Enjoy the
process. You should push to a point where you feel confident that every girl
wants you, and that you can get every girl just by telling her that you want
her too.
Direct game is no replacement to indirect game. I will never dare to go
direct in a setting in which I will be devastatingly affected by a failure, and I
will always go indirect if I know that I will be seeing the woman on a
frequent basis. I always tell guys to be absolutely 100% comfortable with
the M3 approach before they come to me – not because I believe in its
superiority, but because I believe in its flirtatious matter. But once you know
how to flirt, why would you waste your time trying to avoid it? Why not just
openly approach a woman for the sole reason of flirting? Why not skip
hours of unnecessary bullshit and directly address the fact that you are a
man and that she is a woman, and that you both like sex and intimacy? Be
fun. Be confident. Be yourself.
Trust me; once you go direct – YOU GO DIRECT.
Chapter Six
Identity, State and Frame
The AFC (Average Frustrated Chump) You will be a thing of the past,
replaced by the PUA You. When learning the pick-up arts, you have the
option of creating a new identity. The old you was just fine, a nice guy who
has lots of interesting things to say. The new you may be similar, just
repackaged and marketed correctly. This 'inner game' should be on all the
time, though you may turn your 'outer game' on and off as the environment
dictates. Once you graduate to PUA status, you will look around a venue
and be able to pick out AFCs, or what are often referred to as 'chodes.'
To many people, the seduction community is actually a men's selfimprovement movement, with a very large carrot at the end of the stick:
SEX. But it is best to consider the long-term goal getting competent with
seduction, and the process of self-improvement your immediate goal.
Strengthening your inner game – developing a solid sense of identity and
unflappable self-confidence – is key to pick-up. This ebook is intended to
be a practical field guide, so inner game is not covered to any large extent.
There are many resources available within and outside the community to
improve your inner game, including Anthony Robbins and the RSD catalog
of DVDs.
Also keep in mind that inner and outer game are symbiotic; one aspect
feeds off the other, and both ideally should develop simultaneously.
Identity development
1. Who are you? Meaning how do you want to be perceived by others?
Find a stereotype to exploit, then create a sound bite that conveys this.
2. What kind of woman do you seek? What’s important to you in a woman?
You must develop your identity to attract this sort of woman, so #1 should
complement #2.
3. What is your avatar? Does your look reflect the identity you’ve chosen?
They must be congruent.
“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it
is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the
music which he hears, however measured or far away.”
Henry David Thoreau
4. What is your social circle? Do you hang out with people that enhance
your identity and respect you as a tribal leader?
5. What props do you take into the field that demonstrate your identity?
You can have pics on your phone to show sets. Props may display
sexuality, or that women are a part of your life. Have a story behind each
prop. Be the observed.
6. How will your wing introduce you? This is known as an AI,
accomplishment intro.
“Look at yourselves. What kind of person are you? Inject a bit
of your Antithesis into you. If you look soft then add intent
psycho axe-murderer type shit. If you look like a tough guy
then show a cuddly softer side every now and then. If you look
nerdy then do something very alpha and outgoing. If you look
outgoing and alpha then show some softness every now and
then. Not only is this cute because its unexpected but it also
keeps the girl guessing and makes you undefinable.”
Stefan
State
Your state when running pick up should be that of a confident, happy and
out-going man. Listen to your internal dialog, and if you notice a lot of
negative thoughts, fix it. Your outward appearance will not be appealing to
others until your internal dialog is optimistic, enthusiastic and positive. Push
all negative or self-defeating ideas out of your head, and replace them with
thoughts of success. With more field time under your belt, 'getting into
state' will be easier, or you may find you're always in state.
You can get into state by listening to loud music, jumping and running
around, yelling, and doing high-5s or playing patty-cakes with your wings in
the club. Start finding the positives in your surroundings and reframe your
negative thoughts. Do a few warm-up sets.
Frame
When we speak of frame, we mean your attitude and beliefs. You must
convey non-neediness and willingness to walk away. You must not be
seeking validation from her or anyone else. If you make a funny comment,
you don’t care if she finds it funny; you don't look to make sure if she's
laughing at it, because you simply don't give a crap. If you’re wearing
something interesting, you might ask her opinion on it, but aren’t
emotionally directed by her response. These alpha qualities – that of a
leader and not a follower – should be conveyed in your body language and
what you say. Anything that makes you seem validation-seeking, insecure,
attention-seeking, indecisive, try-hard, dependent or unsure will be a turn
off. In short, this is your world and though she is welcomed to enter it, you’ll
be just fine without her. Along these lines, always be in control and pull her
into your frame. In milder forms this can take the form of ending all phone
calls and interactions before she does. A more obvious version of frame
control is puppet kino, where you are physically forcing her to behave as
you desire. Frame control is an essential part of pickup. A man who
prematurely relinquishes control the the frame to the woman is viewed as
beta. Women seek men who will lead and dominate the relationship, and
though they may try to steal control of the frame, consider this a shit test to
see how resolved you are. Once past attraction and into comfort, you may
let up some control to jump through her hoops, provided she is continuing
to comply and work for your attraction.
Note that these are characteristics you cannot fake. You must internalize
these beliefs and become that person. Women will see through a façade.
Similarly, PUAs talk about having an attitude of scarcity versus abundance;
a man who has his pick of women is said to live in abundance and this is
attractive to women (preselection), whereas a man who settles for anything
he can get is living with a mindset of scarcity which is unattractive
(desperation).
Have no expectations for outcome. Don’t care if a girl doesn’t laugh at your
joke. Don’t care if she doesn’t pong IOIs. Don’t care if you get blown out of
every set tonight. Don’t care if you number close. Don’t care if she doesn’t
call you back. Don’t care if she flakes. Don’t care if you have a one night
stand. Don’t care if she shit tests. Don’t care if she buys you a drink. Just
run game. If she shows interest, tomorrow she could completely disappear
and never respond to you. If she shows disinterest now, in a week she
might be blowing your cell up trying to get a date. Girls send mixed signals
and play games all the time, so don’t be thrown, and always have no
expectations.
Emotional investment by the girl is important. Even if it’s jealousy or
irritation, if a girl has the option to walk away from you but stays in there,
it’s an IOI. Use that emotional investment to get her more attracted to you,
and do not respond emotionally back to it.
Be relaxed and comfortable as if you’re at home and not a bar.
Frame Control and Storytelling
By Rob Judge
It’s time to write on one of the biggest problems/obstacles
PUAs of all skill levels run into: Effective DHV story telling.
There are two recurring fatal mistakes I see happening
repeatedly: 1) Stories are trying so hard to hit DHV points, they
completely undermine and destroy your frame/congruency,
and 2) Stories lack any subtly and are no better than blatant
bragging/lying.
Before I go into the theory on this, I want to demonstrate my
point by relating something that happened to me in-field. Okay,
I sarge in Manhattan and usually go for high end chicks (8s
and upward) usually at classy bars/clubs. So, as you can
imagine, I’m constantly competing/gaming against AMOGs
and, in particular, older, richer Wall Street AMOGs (lets call
them Alpha Streeters). So one Thursday night, I’m out with my
wing and we’re gaming a decent 3-set. As I’m stacking, I
notice in the corner of my eye a cock-pack of 10 Alpha
Streeters rolling into the club. While most of the Alphas
wandered over to the bar, the two most Alpha guys planted
themselves in front of our set. Not letting this phase me, I
continued to stack but kept hearing snip-its of phrases like “…
FINALLY all moved into my place on Fifth Avenue” or “…going
back to the old alma mater for the Harvard Yale game”. They
were running the equivalent of MM for guys on Wall Street:
DHV about money as loud as you can. After about 5 minutes
of this, a couple of the Alphas by the bar came over to our set
and offered us all an expensive round of drinks. Of course, we
had to accept, allowing the 10 Alphas to move in on our set
and effectively blow us out.
The way I felt as I ejected was like a little kid who’s playing a
Nintendo game and can’t beat a level while he watches a
bunch of older kids do whatever they want because they’re
using Game Genie.
I was pissed. Frustrated. Embarrassed. I still am. But thinking
back on it, those guys may have blown me out, but they set a
horrible frame. Let me explain. Say the Alpha Streeters never
showed up and I had successfully #-closed, got a Day 2, and
took the girl(s) to McDonald's. It wouldn’t really be a DLV
because I was strictly selling the girls on my personality,
gaming skills and stories. I didn’t buy them drinks. I didn’t tell
them I live on Fifth Avenue. Taking those girls to McDonald's
would’ve been completely congruent with the frame I
established.
However, imagine if one of the Alpha Streeters got a Day 2
and he took her to McDonald's. MAJOR DLV. The guy
established the frame that he’s rich. His Day 2 HAS to be at a
very expensive restaurant or else it’s NOT CONGRUENT.
Winning girls with money is great if you’re ready to spend
money all the time, but if you’re not than it’s no different than
the smooth PUA who freezes up in the middle of the set.
You’re blown out once you contradict the reality you initially
put forth.
Over and over and I see posts like this: “I broke down the
bedroom door and grabbed him by the neck pinning him
against the wall lifting him up. Must have been the adrenaline
of the moment because I can not normally lift a big guy with
one hand. I looked him in the eye and told him, if he ever did
that again I would kill him.”
I know a lot of red-faced “PUAs” want to grab me by the neck,
pin me against a wall, and tell me “Hey bro! I’m showing that I
PROTECT MY LOVED ONES!”
No, you’re not, bro.
What you’re showing is you’re a typical tough guy. Which is
fine if that’s the frame you want to set. But just like the Wall
Streeter who sets his money frame, you’ve now set a “tough
guy” frame. So, when an AMOG comes over and tries to steal
your girl, you have no choice but to fight him. Think about it. If
you’re the big “protector of loved ones” and you’ve
“demonstrated” that with your story, you can’t try to out smart
the AMOG because it’s not consistent. Your ONLY consistent
choice is to get that adrenaline pumping and start fighting
everyone who threatens your target.
Because I encounter so many typical AFC tough guys, I go
OUT OF MY WAY to set the frame that I’m NOT a tough guy
(so when I use my wit to outsmart them, it’s congruent and I’m
not obligated to man-dance every loser AFC with crab
hands…) Here’s what I was doing for a while (feel free to use
at your discretion):
Part of my peacocking is I sometimes put a band aid on my
neck. It sounds stupid but so many girls will open you with:
HB on Trial: OMG!! What happened?
Rob Judge: Bar fight.
HB on Trial: (Giggles)
Rob Judge: Yeah, you should’ve seen the other 5 guys.
(NOTE: This must be delivered with James Bond-like
demeanor. If you say it like a goofball it’ll come off sounding
like a joke your corny uncle would make…)
The whole reason this is “funny” is because I’m a skinny 5”8,
145-pound dude who dresses like a dandy...
Prizability
Prizability is expressed in the PUA text by Swinggcat, ‘Real World
Seduction.’ Swinggcat speaks of frames and meta-frames, and your goal
generally is to maintain your frame as the prize, and make her pursue you.
Girls will often expect the man to assume she is the prize and that she
should be pursued. The PUA does not fall for this, which will often take
HBs by surprise. Since prizability is one of the most important concepts of
pick-up, a chapter has been devoted to it.
“People don't understand that this is not just about pick-up.
This is really the beginning I think of a serious men's selfimprovement movement.”
Style
To convince others you are a prize worth pursuing, you need to make
yourself the prize.
The Alpha Male
Women want instinctively to mate with the alpha male of a tribe. Much of
seduction is learning how to tap into these primitive female drives, and so
understanding what constitutes an alpha male is critical. Brad P defines an
alpha as the following:
1. Be immune to social pressures. Be able to stand out and not be selfconscious about it, though social pressure tells you to conform.
2. Have risk-taking behavior. This demonstrates bravery.
3. Be detached from outcome. An alpha has confidence he will have sex
soon, and so the outcome of each interaction is irrelevant.
In addition, the alpha embodies all attraction switches: he IS a leader of
men, he DOES protect loved ones, he IS preselected, and so on. They
simply exude these qualities.
Intimidating Girls and How Not to Do It
By BangBang
I used to get told I intimidated girls ALL the time, probably a
side effect of spending so many years working as a bouncer.
I'd say it could be one of two things (at least it was with me):
First, I came to realize that I NEVER smiled. What's worse, is
that I didn't REALIZE that I didn't. I wasn't trying to look mean
or to intimidate, but when most people encounter a neutral
expression and confident body language on a guy with a
decent build, they sense a vibe that you are not to be fucked
with. This is great for keeping other guys at bay, but with girls,
not what you want. For me, the fix was simply actively smiling
more and making a point to smile whenever I see a girl. At
first, I'd hear the voice in my head saying "Smile stupid!" and I
would, now it's become more instinctual and I've noticed a
difference. After I've opened, if I'm talking about something
that happened while I was working as a bouncer, I will almost
always still get "I KNEW you were a bouncer! I could just tell.
You look like a bouncer." Something as simple as a smile can
take the same vibe and change it from "He's intimidating!" to
"He'll protect me."
Cowboy stance with Smile = Sexual Attraction
Cowboy stance without Smile = Come near me and I'll fucking
KILL you.
I had also picked up some bad BL habits from being a bouncer
as well, which I had to really work at to get rid of because they
had become natural to me so I didn't notice them.
Second, sometimes confidence can be intimidating to a
woman if she's not used to dealing with confident men. Or
confidence can be intimidating because a confident man has a
reason to be confident; he must have very high standards and
she may be afraid that she won't measure up to those
standards.
I love to dance and have come to be very good at it. I always
used to wonder why, if women like to dance so much, no
women seemed to want to dance with me. They'd start to
when I'd grab them, but then they'd shy away. Finally I asked a
girlfriend of mine what that was all about, because she'd done
it too. She told me that she was afraid to dance with me
because I was a great dancer. She was afraid she wouldn't be
able to keep up and would look stupid. Now I just tell girls to
relax, and I lead more than I used to.
Peacocking
Successful peacocking gear will:
1. inspire targets to open you, and
2. be ridiculed by AMOGs.
Do not feel upset if you get put down by AMOGs; turn this around and
consider it a marker of good peacocking. Some useful peacock items
include: scarves, hats, rings, wrist bands, and necklaces. If you don't want
to wear earrings, look for magnetic earrings online and put 1-3 in your
earlobe and/or cartilage of the left ear. Some PUAs use makeup, or color
their hair.
Often it is helpful to think of a celebrity you resemble and try to look like
that person. Even if on a subliminal level, the comparison might garner you
attention. Remember it is always better to be observed than to observe.
Belt buckles are great in that they can be flashy as they draw a woman’s
attention close to your private parts. When a girl refers to your belt buckle
turn it into a classic sexual predator comment: “Hey, my eyes are up here!
What are you doing looking down her, you diiiirrrty little girl. I swear, girls
are such sexual predators...”
Try to have a story behind each prop, as in its significance to you. When
asked why you have a particular necklace on, you can joke: “Because my
face is a work of art and I needed a beautiful frame around it.”
Platform shoes give the illusion of height which is important if you’re short.
If called out about them, use Style's response: “Because they get me 3
more inches of woman...and I like woman” (said innocently, not
seductively).
The Superman Speech from Kill Bill, Volume 2
“As you know, I’m quite keen on comic books. Especially the
ones about superheroes. I find the whole mythology
surrounding superheroes fascinating.
Take my favorite superhero, Superman. Not a great comic
book. Not particularly well-drawn. But the mythology… The
mythology is not only great, it’s unique.
Now, a staple of the superhero mythology is, there’s the
superhero and there’s the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce
Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When that
character wakes up in the morning, he’s Peter Parker. He has
to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that
characteristic Superman stands alone.
Superman didn’t become Superman. Superman was born
Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he’s
Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big
red “S” - that’s the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when
the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears the glasses, the business suit - that’s the costume. That’s the
costume Superman wears to blend in with us.
Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the
characteristics of Clark Kent? He’s weak… He’s unsure of
himself… He’s a coward.
Clark Kent is Superman’s critique on the whole human race.”
Shit Tests
Women will often use shit tests to see what you're made of, to push you
out of your frame and possibly into hers. Don't answer these logically.
Make your responses fun and reframe her statement so that she
understands this is your world and she is lucky to be welcomed in. A shit
test isn't an IOD (when a girl turns back to her friends or walks away...that's
an IOD). It's an IOI, because she's investigating how strong your backbone
is. If a woman finds out you can't even stand up to her, how will you protect
her from all of life's other threats?
Examples:
ST (shit test): Why are you talking to me?
RF (reframe): I lost a bet.
ST: Are you gay?
RF: Yeah, I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body.
ST: Buy me a drink.
RF: Is that your best pick up line?
ST: I don't date short guys.
RF: Hey, me neither.
ST: How big is your penis?
RF: How good is your dental insurance?
ST: I need a sugar daddy. Are you rich?
RF: For sure. I just added a new wing to my cardboard box.
ST: So you're a bisexual?
RF: Buy sex? Why would I buy sex when I get it for free?
ST: A lot of guys hit on me because of this tattoo.
RF: Really, guys hit on you for that? I figured you'd get more lesbians.
ST: I can email you nude pics of myself.
RF: Hey! Slow down there, young lady. We just met. Buy me a drink first if
you're gonna hit on me like that!
Brad P suggests a tactic called absurdifying shit tests. So take a shit test
and respond with an absurd exaggeration, and then return immediately
back to the thread you were talking about. For example, if you start running
the 'Who lies more' routine, and she cuts you off with 'That shirt is so ugly!'
you absurdify with 'Oh my god, this is the fucking ugliest shirt in the
world...but...who do you think lies more, men or women?'
I Speak 'Girl'
By Calyx
Here's a method I've been using to help deal with a girl's
nonsense. This works for me in person, text, email and phone.
It is also a good way to turn things sexual.
Let's say your target states something like:
"You're crazy"
"You're stupid"
"You're retarded"
"Shut Up"
"You're such an ass"
Calyx: You know I read, write and speak "girl" fluently. And I
know what you really meant by that.
HB: What?
Calyx: You're stupid = "Calyx, you got me all hot and
bothered."
HB: Lol, you're retarded.
Calyx: You're retarded = Calyx, I want you!
HB: Lol, shut up.
Calyx: Shut up = Calyx, stop talking cause it will make me rape
you.
HB: Lol, stupid, shut up.
Calyx: You just cant help yourself huh?
HB: Okay I want you.
Really, as long as you have some attraction there, you can use
this to make any words she says into words you want to hear.
But if the words are directed at you, the better its effect.
You can use it for shit tests:
HB: I have a boyfriend.
PU: I speak girl and I know what that means.
HB: What?
PU: “I want to give you my number but don't want to seem like
a slut, 'cause I am attracted to you.”
HB: (lol) No, that's not it, I really do have a boyfriend.
PU: “I really like this guy but I am scared to take chances."
HB: Uh, no.
PU: "No = yes"
HB: (lol)
PU: Wow, you want it that bad? Well I am not a slut and you
have to earn my calls!
Crutches
During the evolution from AFC to PUA, a person will rely on crutches to
help them along. Similar to partaking in rehab for a sprained ankle,
crutches can help get around while the ankle is healing, but prolonged
reliance on them can be detrimental to recovery. Here are some example
of crutches which you should be looking for, and abandoning when able:
1. Alcohol. AA is something you need to genuinely squash, and not mask
with mind-altering substances. Drinking to excess in order to help approach
women will not in the end assist you in overcoming AA.
2. State pumpers. At times, you need that shot of espresso to get you in
the mood to go out late and be in a talkative state. However you should
watch out for dependence on stimulants which may artificially pump your
state.
3. Wings. You can accomplish great things when solo sarging, but using a
wing does open many doors, such as making 2-sets easier to work. Many
guys rely on wings as a crutch, becoming intimidated if alone in a venue. A
true PUA can sarge a venue without the assistance of a wing. Bring in
wings to make for a fun night, and to augment your game, but do not avoid
solo sarging.
4. Gaming ugs. Going after HBs can be daunting, and sometimes chasing
ugs can be the path of least resistance. If you are attracted to the ug, then
game on. But if you're gaming ugs as a crutch because you're too scared
to game HBs, you need to get past this sticking point.
5. Peacocking. Some guys don their gear as if it were an action figure
disguise. This is great, but if you're suddenly caught out in the day at a car
wash next to HB10, you may feel naked without the gear and unable to run
game. Be able to run game anytime, even if you don't have your gear on.
6. Routines. Going in with a routine stack can help you reliably create
attraction, but many guys rely on the stack instead of learning how to
naturally vibe with a girl. The routines become a crutch, and without them,
they have no idea what to say to a woman. Be able to open on any topic,
and vibe off what the woman is telling you.
7. All-girl sets. Mixed sets scare a lot of guys, so they avoid them and only
work all-girl sets. Overcome this fear and get used to opening mixed sets.
Don't assume romantic involvement, or that a fight will ensue. Many HBs
hang out in mixed sets, and to avoid them will severely limit your
opportunities.
8. Seated sets. It may be hard to lock in if a group is sitting, so a PUA may
only game standing sets. You should always try to open these sets, even if
the logistics may not be just right. If you don't open, you'll never learn how
to do it.
9. Venue selection. Some PUAs aren't adept at day game, so they only
sarge at night. Others are scared of clubs so they only do day game. A
PUA should ideally be comfortable running game any time of day in any
venue. If you find yourself returning to the same sort of venue, push
yourself to game in venues that may feel uncomfortable at first.
10. Indirect game. The M3 model requires you to fly under the radar via an
indirect approach. Though you may find yourself getting good at indirect,
going in direct may bring about a wave of panic you thought you'd
conquered. Learn how to be direct on your approaches, with aggressive
kino and strong SOIs. You may get blown out more, but if the set hooks
you may be able to avoid a lot of the effort required in going indirect.
11. Being 'in state.' You may not feel like going out or talking to women
because you aren't in state. Being in state can help your interactions, but
relying on being in state is another crutch. There are benefits of gaming
while not being in state. You become too tired to care, which is by itself an
attractive attitude. Also, you can't get in your head, and so you have to go
on autopilot and be in the moment; you're incapable of over-analyzing
everything that gets thrown at you. In so doing, you have spontaneous
natural convos with people, and you internalize the skill set much faster.
Being out of state can actually be a great tool.
Your Comfort Zone
Getting good at seduction requires you to constantly evolve and to push
yourself out of your comfort zone. Initially this may mean just being able to
leave your home on a Friday and put yourself in a bar. Eventually as this
becomes easier, it may mean talking to strangers, going out alone, and
ultimately running pick-up techniques that seem counter-intuitive or socially
unacceptable.
One simply cannot get good at seduction without breaking out of one's
comfort zone. When you find you're comfortable with a skill, move on to the
next one which will advance your sets towards the close.
Each pick-up set is like a work-out set. To get muscle, you must hit the
number of repetitions which will result in failure of that muscle. Then
hypertrophy and strength gains can occur. Merely doing 36 light reps won't
give you the same results. Likewise, you must bring each pick-up set to
failure. That is, push each set to its limit: pull the girl, or else make her blow
you out.
Here is a formula that applies across the board when trying to move out of
your comfort zone:
Step 1. Logically get your plan together. Know what you're gonna say/do
and when. Have the words ready to deliver when your instinct tells you to
it's time. You may need to 'small chunk' this, eventually ending up with a
string of sentences that accomplish your goal.
Step 2. Nut up and do it. Just like AA. We know what we must do. We've
wrapped our heads around it. We just can't pull the trigger.
Step 3. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Keep getting blown out, until you've gotten
yourself on autopilot and are totally immune to failure.
Step 4. Tweak if something isn't working. Drop it, fix it, change the timing in
your set.
Chapter Seven
Prizability
New York's Rob Judge has mastered the concept of prizability, wherein
one makes himself 'the prize' worthy of being earned by the target. Here
now are several thoughts on the subject by Rob Judge:
I feel like a lot of guys get into this community, read about something like
setting a "prize frame" and then get carried away with it, letting it mutate
their personalities. While unrealistic expectations and demands might
establish yourself as a "prize" in your head, it won't do anything but make
you seem like an arrogant prick to HBs. At the end of the day you have to
ask yourself: Am I trying to convince myself I'm a super high value guy OR
am I trying to close HBs?
Prizability is literally an "art form". An art form that has three parts:
1.) Conversational jujitsu to re-frame the entire interaction that she's
chasing you.
2.) Making sure she can justify chasing you because you're conveying
value through stories and humor.
3.) Assuming your role as a man and taking what you want when you want
it. (Allowing her plausible deniablity)
See, I used to think it was just about #1 and if you simply re-framed
everything she was saying by setting a prize meta-frame, you'd create
attraction. But it's more than that.
For a woman, she will ONLY accept your frame/reality if she truly sees you
as a prize. Additionally, she won't let you escalate sexually with her unless
you create some trust, comfort, rapport, and connection while making her
feel as if she's qualified herself to you and lived up to your standards. So
how do you bridge all this under the umbrella of prizability?
Make it an art form.
How I go about doing this is by telling stories. On a D2, I have a canon of
topics and stories I thread that sub-com my biographical story, bait her to
qualify herself, and allow me to establish my "prizable" reality. These
stories are fairly mundane (I'll list a few as examples):
1.) I wanted a Rainbow Bright doll when I was kid but my dad said no
because he thought it meant I was gay.
2.) The first girl I fell in love with in 7th grade and how she broke my heart.
(Don't be fooled by the synopsis, this story should be filled in the
"humor/romantic comedy" genre)
3.) How vulnerable I felt the first time I traveled through Europe.
Since I've told these stories on dozens of D2 to scores of different women,
I know where the humorous parts are, where to pause for effects, etc.
Since these stories pump their BT, it's raising my value, but these stories
also serve to display my personality, develop a connection, while also
displaying a bit of vulnerability.
And, what almost always ends up happening is an HB will volunteer a story
of her own. (If she doesn't, I usually just end on a philosophical point and
then turn the spotlight on her by saying something like, "So what was your
first boyfriend like?"). Let her tell her story, make some funny remark on it
(a playful joke that'll hopefully get her laughing) and once her BT is spiked
introduce The Point System. For example, the first time a girl qualifies
herself and I like her story/answer, I'll say, "That was cute. You're getting 2
points." Always, they'll react with something like, "What?! What do you
mean 2 points??" Which I reply, "Everyone I meet is on a point system. Get
15 points and I'll tell you about the first time I lost my virginity - which, if you
think the Rainbow Bright story was funny and embarrassing, wait till you
hear this one because it went down in the backseat of my mom's purple
minivan!!" And, every single girl I've put on the point system has reacted
the same way: in 3 phases:
Phase 1: Outright shock and the "how-dare-you" face, usually telling me
I'm the one who has to win points. (Just don't react to this, I usually just
look at them and smile, as if to say, "Oh, you'll want these points").
Phase 2: Willingness to qualify herself and jump through my hoops to win
points. (For example, usually a girl will tell me some funny story, and I'll
laugh and say, "Oh man, that was good. 3 points!" where she'll be like,
"Wait wait! But there's more!!" and she'll try to extend the story because
she unconsciously is buying into my frame, and, since she's winning, she
wants to keep "playing").
Phase 3: Complete obsession with the points system. (If you do this right,
girls will start asking me every 10 minutes, "How am I doing? Am I getting
points for doing blah blah blah" I've even had girls (models!) get nervous to
the point where they say, "I'm sort of nervous because I can tell you have
really high standards."
Now, how do you remain congruent to a "prize" frame when you're calling
her and escalating?
I absolutely agree it's incongruent for a guy who's the "prize" to call a
woman once, let alone put up with her flaky bullshit and/or hesitation to
escalate. As I developed a stronger and stronger frame, I strayed further
and further from things like freeze outs and kiss gambits. I couldn't get
either to work for me and here's why: A prizable guy would never react to a
girl's hesitation or gauge if she's ready to kiss him. (I'll explain what does
work in a second, but first, an explanation of my third point of my "3 points
of prizability": Assuming your role as a man and taking what you want
when you want it. (Allowing her plausible deniablity)
Even though I'm setting a frame that I'm high value, assuming the
behaviors of a HB10 (in fact, I stole some of my best lines from 10s), I don't
forget that I AM THE MAN. As a man, it's YOUR responsibility to escalate,
call, lead, and take risks. To do this, remove the question mark as a
punctuation mark in your vocabulary. When you want to move her
somewhere, don't ask, "Want to sit somewhere else?" You just go, "Hey, I
want to hear you better. Come on" and start walking. When you want her
phone number, you don't ask her, "How can we continue this conversation
later?" (although this is a good line and have gotten it to work in other
contexts), simply pull out your phone, hand it to her and say, "Put your
number in. You're interesting, we can hang out again." Basically,
everything you do comes from a place of: I'm a high value prize, I have
hordes of women vying for my time, you [the HB] are beginning to impress
me so I will give you a chance to seduce me (of course assuming she's
already wanted you since she saw you).
Side note: If this sounds arrogant or too-cocky, just ask yourself: What is
your non-arrogant, not-cocky attitude getting you? Exactly.
Moving on, you're going to have to abandon kiss gambits and freeze outs.
They don't work in this frame. First, kiss gambits come off beta (no matter
how good your delivery, HBs will always sense that you're tentatively
gauging if it's okay to kiss her). If I know I have the IOIs, I simply pull a girl
into me as she's talking midsentence and kiss her. If I just met a girl, and
I'm not positive if she's ready, I slow down my speaking, stroke her hair,
and gaze into her eyes. I've had girls say to me, "I'm not going to make out
with you if that's what you're trying to do" which I ignore and stack into a
new thread. Simply act like her rejection has no effect on your frame or
value. This is why freeze outs don't work in this frame. They convey that
you care and are effected by rejection (even if it does get her feeling a
sense of loss). I've had girls making out with me, then tell me "we're not
going any further". And my response was, "Cool, actually I forgot to tell you
this story. Get this..." tell them a few stories, get them laughing, introduce
some kino, start making out again, and voila! we're going further!
Before I end this section, a word on calling and storytelling. Again,
everything has to come from a place of high value, but, paradoxically, also
must involve you taking risks and leading. Therefore, when I call girls, I
always do it under some pretext. For example, my favorite line when calling
a HB is, "Hey, I'm taking a 5 minute break from my writing and thought I'd
let you distract me for a few." All your value is embedded in there (i.e.
pretext for calling, living in your reality, non-needy FTC) so, even though
you're leading, escalating, and taking a risk you're also protecting your
frame.
Secondly, storytelling and jokes, especially on the opener, has to come
from a place where you're not obviously trying to impress her. (My best
stories have BOMBED if I make it obvious I'm trying to tell them). Come
from a headspace that seems like you're simply telling the story/joke for
your or your wing's enjoyment. I remember one of my better openers was
on this cute redhead as she took two drinks off a bar for her and her friend.
As she passed me, I grabbed her, turned to my wing, and said (laughing),
"Oh shit, Chris, look at this...Lindsey Lohan is back at it again. Double
fisting. Holy shit, take this girl's keys away. She's gonna get another DUI..."
This opener busted her whole set open (there were actually like 10 girls
with her) because it wasn't delivered like I was trying to impress her, it was
more like I was using her as a prop for my and my wing's enjoyment...
Now, when I want to make plans, I give the girl an option of two times I'm
free. Here's how I'd make plans with an HB:
Rob Judge: Okay, there's this awesome sushi place right near my
apartment. I'm like sort of addicted to their California rolls so I usually try
and eat there once a week. I'm going to introduce you to this place and it'll
blow your mind...hmmm, this week I have Tuesday or Thursday night
free...which day works for you?
Notice how I presuppose she's already interested in going. This subcommunicates high value (as if you're used to people automatically
agreeing to spending time with you) while it asks "when she's free" (an
easier question to answer) than "will you commit to a date with me".
Also, if you notice, I make it seem like I'm more interested in eating at the
sushi place than "going on a date with her". Again, this is crucial for 2
reasons: 1.) It alleviates her of undue pressure that you're making her the
center of your world and that she'll have to live up to these fabled
standards, and 2.) that you live in your reality and have good taste and am
inviting her as a guest into that reality.
This approach doesn't work 100 percent but it'll get you MUCH more
consistent results than simply asking women out like a chode (I'd say this
works about 75 percent of the time as opposed to the "ask out" method
which probably worked about 20 percent for me...rough estimates).
Chapter Eight
Openers, Routines, Gambits and BOBs
Openers and routines are grouped together because technically there is no
reason why you can’t open with a routine or stack to an opener mid-pickup.
For example, if you sense a lull in your convo during comfort, there’s
nothing wrong with tossing in a canned opener to liven things up. What
may be most helpful about canned material is it takes your mind off what
you say, and permits you to focus on how you say it, which is a much
larger aspect of communication.
In general it is best to keep your routines and openers brief to begin with,
then stack later to longer ones as you hook the set. Reserve kino routines
like palm reading for your target. The sign of a good routine is when you
hear it delivered, you aren't sure if it's canned or spontaneous; in addition,
it will be congruent with one's identity, be intriguing and hit switches. A
large part of this is rooting, that is, giving a legitimate reason as to why
you're asking the question or telling the story.
When opening, use ‘hey guys’ because it’s not gender specific and
somewhat of an IOD, as opposed to ‘hi ladies’ or ‘hi girls.’ This will help
disarm the set. Or just run the opener without this intro. The classic work is
Thundercat's The Art of Approaching.
The key to these is: 1) be funny and/or fun, 2) be succinct, 3) be unique, 4)
don’t look like you’re trying to run pick-up, 5) ground your story with details
to make them believable. Don’t run routines as if they’re scripted. Your
delivery should seem spontaneous, so crack yourself up in the middle, put
in false pauses to 'think' about your phrasing or to recount details.
Intentionally fuck up the delivery if what you're saying might be seen as
bragging or scripted.
When a set gives a response, you have different contingencies. There are
three categories of responses which require different contingencies:
positive, negative and confused (credit Brad P). As you field test various
openers, you will develop responses (invisible threads) you can use to
follow up each contingency.
FTC (False Time Constraints) are important during A1. You should
communicate either verbally or by body rocking that you have somewhere
else to be and you won't be there in set for long. This is an IOD and can be
used several times during attraction to calibrate your IOIs.
The openers and gambits described below are just backbones on which
you should hang a story. Your story should captivate, be full of details and
hit attraction switches, and may run 5 minutes or more. Use multithread
theory to tie various gambits together. A gambit has several definitions but
for the purpose of gaming means an opening remark intended to begin a
conversation, sometimes through 'tripping up' the listener; Mystery
intended it to include any game piece including negs, IOIs or routines.
Many opinion openers engage a woman logically. That is, when you ask for
her opinion, she must then access her logical mind to come up with a
response. Many times, holding a logical conversation with a woman is
counterproductive to seducing her. You can avoid this sometimes by
spiking her buying temp with the opener. Therefore, use opinion openers
with caution, as they may set a tone for the early interaction you will find
difficult to escape.
The following includes a collection of original routines and those that have
been massively field tested over the years. BOBs are Bits of Banter which
are neither openers nor routines, but contain some comebacks or reframes
that might help you in field if you ever encounter a similar situation.
Ideally, you can start with these as 'training wheels,' but should develop
your own unique openers and gambits as your game improves.
Essentially, even though you might think it will be a challenge to open sets,
you will find even stupid openers that have no situational relevance have
the potential of getting HBs laughing and quickly moving into A2.
How to Open
By Rob Judge
I can't tell you how many times some AFC will watch me roll
into the set, see me deliver an opener successfully and get the
whole set engaged, then badger me for the rest of the night for
me to explain the EXACT wording I used. No matter how
many times I tell him it's NOT the words, he just keeps
insisting I transcribe an exact script word-for-word. In his head,
he believes if he just uses the SAME words I used when
opening, it'll get the same response.
And it won't.
In field I can open probably with about a 90 percent success
rate and only use two types of openers: MY own opinion
openers, or just a quick BT-pumping comment off the bat.
DON'T parrot someone else's opener because some guru told
you it works. IF you like the opener and think it's a
conversation you want to have, then by all means, use it.
Personally, the types of opinions I usually like to get are about
my fictional group of friends (who I always have to call in a
second), and their crazy lives in which they: 1) give their
numbers out to fat chicks who won't stop calling them (can I
give them my advice on how to flake??), 2) go to tanning
salons, shave their handlebar mustaches, then have white
spots above their lips but have to go on a date (should I lend
them the fake mustache I used for a Halloween costume?? Is
that being a good friend??), or 3) my friend who broke up with
his GF 3 months ago but she still has his awesome Led
Zeppelin vintage t-shirt (how long should he wait to get it
back??). These are just the Cliffs notes and all these openers
have 30-second stories I tell in set. The key in delivering these
openers is to act like it really just happened. I'm not an actor or
anything so I just really concentrate, and try and feel the
emotions as if these things actually happened. Here's the
structure:
Rob: Haha, guys. Real quick. I need to borrow you for a
second and you're going to save my friend's life. Okay? So I
gotta call him in a second and stop him from making this huge
mistake. Okay okay, I'll just tell you. He's going to go on a date
wearing a fake mustache! Now what would you ladies do if a
guy wearing a fake mustache showed up on your doorstep for
a date??
HBs: Hahahaha, wtf?!?!?!
Rob: Alright, that wasn't fair. I'll tell you this story then I
seriously gotta roll. (Go into 30 second story). So, if you were
me, would you lend him the mustache or let him go on this
date with the white spot under his lip??
HBs: (answer)
Rob: You guys. Are the. Worst. Friends. EVER. How can I call
my friend and tell him that? You guys are setting him up to
EMBARRASS HIMSELF! But you know what, you guys are
also funny in a devilish way. You guys can roll with me. That's
it (grabs HBs and puts them under his arm) we're gonna film a
rap video together. (Stacks into role playing)
HBs: Hahahaha YAY!!!!
This is seriously the same structure for an opener I use every
time. It's: 1) come in with a fun energy, engage the group
laughing a bit and totally non-needy, 2) ask a question but
don't expect an answer, 3) as girls are shocked, say "Okay
okay, I'll tell you this BUT" FTC, stack into animated story (that
is funny and shows I'm a good storyteller), 4) ask the question
again at the end, 5) let girls answer (now they're calmed down
and know the situation), 6) bust on their answer in a playful,
push/pull way, 7) tell the girls they're going to do something
with me (however, I'm ALWAYS the cool one and they're
always my sidekicks (for example, I'm a rapper, they're my
dancers; I'm a rock star, they're my band; I'm a celeb, they're
my bodyguards; I'm the cool big bro and they're my bratty little
sisters...WHATEVER)). By the time you finish the role play,
you'll have done all the DHVing you need and will be in A3.
(Unless there's a REALLY hot, bitchy girl, and then you should
playfully neg her or pay her the least amount of attention)
Man Hands/Monkey Fingers
Helpful if an external interrupt tries to carry your target away, or at any
point in the game to up kino. Makes a useful lock-in prop routine. Use man
hands if she has larger fingers (don't imply FAT, however), or monkey
fingers if they're like most girls and are thin. Sliding a ring on and off her
finger has subtle sexual tones to it and is a mild form of kino.
‘Hey, has anybody told you you have man hands? I bet your ex-boyfriends
hated when you gave them a massage because they felt like another man
was touching them...almost like they were going gay. I dunno, just for shits
and giggles, try on my ring and see...you DO have big hands, jeez. Hey,
I'm gonna go check in on my bros, and I'll see you in a few...’
Conversely, you can use, 'Hey, look who has monkey fingers. You really
need to put some meat on these bones. Here...' and so on.
More than likely she'll look for you later to give you back your prop, and the
game resumes.
The Puppet Show
'Hey, are they still doing those puppet shows here? Last time I was here
there was this nice old man doing puppet shows. He had marionettes and a
little Chihuahua dog with a pink skirt on. It was kinda weird though. Some
of the puppets were like Mexican day of the dead skeletons, and he made
them do some freaky stuff.'
Classy Bar Neg
PUA: Bars can be such meat markets.
HB: Blah blah, it depends on the people.
PUA: Some bars attract a lot of drunk horny guys, but other places – like
this one – are much classier and attract a more sophisticated crowd. Which
is why I’m so surprised to find you here.
9s Routine
How many 9s are there between 1 and 100?
There are 20 9s between 1 and 100. 9, 19, 29, 39, 49, 59, 69, 79, 89, 99,
90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98. Count them…what, you only see 19 9s?
Count again. 99 has 2 9s in it.
Mystery's Snapple Routine
'Do fish cough? Yes, they do. I read it on a Snapple lid. Growing up I
acquired all these bizarre facts by reading Snapple lids. Then I come to
find out some of these facts aren’t real, you have to go to their website to
see which ones are real and which aren’t. Do fish cough or don’t they?
Nah, just kidding, they’re all real. Fish do cough.'
Blond(e) Spelling Opener
You can use this while futzing around on your cell phone pretending to text
message someone. This is a variation of the blond hair opener.
‘Hey, do you know how to spell blonde? Does it have an E at the end or
not? My friend – we’re in a rock band together – wants me to color my hair
blond. But I’m not sure that would look so great, so I was texting my ex-
girlfriend who is a model, to get her opinion. But since you’re here, I might
as well find out what a woman thinks.’
The answer is vague and few people seem to know it. Blond is an
adjective, as in ‘that blond girl.’ Blonde is a noun, as in ‘I dated a blonde
once.’ Others have noted that blond indicates men and blonde refers to
women. However, the usages are blurring and many are using blond for all
meanings.
11s Routine
Helpful if written down, but not necessary. 'What’s 11x11…121. 111x111?
12321. 11111x11111? 123454321. See the pattern? It’s a phenomenon
built into nature. And I learned it from a homeless guy named Chuck. See, I
was waiting on a movie line one day…'
School Bus
Needs to be drawn. 'So they asked 100 kids to look at a picture of a school
bus and to say which way it’s driving:
Can you guess which way? It’s going left. Why? Because they said you
can’t see the door. It’s on the other side.'
Angel vs Devil
Here’s a snippet of banter BangBang got into one night.
PUA: (to external interrupt) Oh hell, here comes trouble.
Interrupt: Who me? Trouble?
HB: Can't you see her halo?
PUA: Yeah, it's balancing quite nicely on those horns. You know what I
hate, you know the little angel and devil? The guys on your shoulders.
Everyone says you should listen to the angel. Well don't trust either of
them. Mine have been switching clothes just to fuck with me, so I listen to
the angel who's actually the devil and I get in trouble ALL the time! DAMN
IT, it just happened again, I shouldn't have told you that!
HB: So how long have you been rehearsing that one?
PUA: Rehearsing? Oh, about the last 5 seconds or so, why?
HB: That just sounded rehearsed.
PUA: Hey, don't be hating on me because I'm good there missy.
Good one, Bad one Cold Read
To a 2 set: 'You’re the good one and you’re the bad one.' Make the target
the good one and the obstacle the bad one. This is a subtle neg because
nobody wants to be ‘the good one.’
1-4, 1-10
'Pick a number between 1-4 but don’t say it. Visualize it. It’s 3. Now pick a
number between 1-10…it’s 7.' If you fail to guess the right number, say
something like 'I never believed in ESP anyway.'
4-Set Archetypes
'In each group of 4 people, there are 4 archetypes represented. So these
are the king, the queen, the court jester and the wizard. For example in the
Beatles, John was the king, Paul was the queen, Ringo was the jester and
George was the wizard. So let me figure out who’s who in your group.'
(Then do a cold read on the 4 set, ending with the target being the jester).
Grade School Crush
Have your wing write on a piece of paper something like ‘My friend has a
crush on you. He wants to know if you’ll talk to him.’ When your wing slips
the note to the target with a very serious face, it’s bound to get a laugh. He
can then bring you into the set once she agrees. This cheesy approach
brings back memories of grade school and hits a sentimental note that girls
love.
The Smelly Girl
This is a funny opener that hits the preselection and willingness to walk
away switches:
'This place is pretty mellow, a lot different from last night (take a pregnant
pause, let the line hook). I was at this party in (nearby city). Now, I’m used
to girls hitting on me and that’s cool (preselection). But this woman comes
up to me, and she must’ve been I dunno 50 years old, 5 feet tall at most,
and around 300-400 pounds. And she starts trying to make out with me. I
struggled to push her off and get away. And the worst part was she smelled
terrible. I guess it was her perfume or a skin condition or something. But
she smelled like she just got in a shit fight with a baboon (pause). And the
baboon won. So I push her away and try to run towards the door. But she
runs after me, and since she’s wearing this weird low-cut blouse, her booby
pops out while she’s chasing me. And I’m like ‘see ya’ and bail. I wound up
at this dive bar on (street). That was no better. I met a nice actress there,
but after a couple glasses of wine she became really offensive and
obnoxious. So I left her on the sidewalk with the DJ and called it a night. I
mean, I have high standards and if somebody is being rude I think it’s fine
just to walk away. Don’t you think so?'
Peeing Dog
'Did you see that dog outside? I think it was a Labradoodle. I went over to
pet it, and the bastard tried to pee on me. What do I look like, a fire
hydrant? But I guess I should feel flattered because he was probably trying
to mark me as its own.'
Mall Opener
Said over the shoulder as HB walks along your path: 'Hey, is it just me, or
does nobody in this mall smile? Even the dogs are mean…' stack to peeing
dog.
This opener gives the target the impression you’re a happy smiling guy,
even if you’re not.
Nun and Priest
'What would be fun would be if you dressed up as a nun and I dressed as a
priest, and we went to the mall and started making out like a couple of
teenagers.'
Who would you rather date?
'Which guy would you want to date most?' Then, go with some group of
male characters, for example: 1) the skipper, Gilligan or the professor? 2)
Reggie, Jughead or Archie? 3) Lincoln, Kennedy or Reagan? Et cetera.
Puppy Role Playing
'Aw, you’re adorable, like a puppy I just rescued from the pound. I would
put you on a leash and walk you around the park. And then I could teach
you a few tricks, and if you were good, I’d rub your belly and let you sleep
in bed with me. But if you have an accident…you’re sleeping outside. Bad
dog!' (and do roll off)
The Lemonade Stand (Wolf)
'Me and my buddy were walking down Wilshire last week and we saw the
craziest thing. We hear this little kid saying ‘lemonade, lemonade for a
buck.’ We see it’s this adorable little kid selling lemonade, so we went over.
An old lady was there and wanted a cup. So the kid takes the dollar and
reaches under the stand and pulls out this jug of 7-Up, and pours some
into this tiny Dixie cup. The old lady was like ‘that’s not lemonade. Just give
me back my money.’ But the kid started arguing with her. He said, ‘nahah
look here, it says ‘Lemon-Lime flavored.’’ And he wouldn’t give her the
dollar back. I felt so bad for the old lady I gave her a dollar.'
Dream interpretations
For some reason there is little mention of dream interpretation in pickup,
but the possibilities are enormous.
Here's one by Decibel called the Catcher in the Rye Dream Gambit:
PUA: Hey, you seem like you'd be good at dream interpretation because
you're a very visual kinda person. I'm in this field of rye, on a cliff, and kids
are playing. It's my job to stop the kids from falling over the cliff. What do
you think this means?
Target (option 1): Hey, that's the dream from Catcher in the Rye.
PUA: Wow, you caught me. I just wanted to see if there was anything else
to you besides your looks.
Target (option 2): I dunno.
PUA: I think it means I'm a protector of loved ones (i.e. hit attraction switch
here).
You can take a dream you’ve had or thought up and do the same, such
that the ‘punchline’ is an attraction switch. You can make the dream as
absurd and comical as you want to get the set laughing, but stay clear of
anything violent or too disturbing.
Eighties Dogs (Swinggcat)
'Hey guys, I need a quick opinion about something. My friend just got two
puppies, a Pug and a Beagle. She wants to name them after an 80’s pop
duo… she wants to name them… DURAN DURAN… I think that’s a
horrible idea... you can’t have two dogs with the same name. Do you guys
have any ideas? I was thinking Sonny and Cher would be a good one,
because the Pug dog is a male and the Beagle dog is a female. But they’re
70’s, not 80’s, so that won’t work. Maybe Axel and Slash would be good,
but they’re rock n’ roll hair band style. Milli Vanilli was a thought, but those
are both guy names. We need a female name. Plus, Milli doesn’t fit a Pug
or a Beagle.'
Fashion Tip (Kooper)
Just go up and just tell them how they would look EVEN BETTER to you.
"Wear your hair open" "open that up one more button" or just fix their
clothes. Tell her what would look amazing on her.
Train your eye to look for imperfections and what to do against them. For
the clueless, get two-dozen model magazines and look through the
pictures SEVERAL times so you get some idea. Try to make up negs for
these girls and point out what would look better on them.
This sets an interesting frame. First of all, you are teaching her how to
please you, if she reacts well, praise her for being a good puppy. Second, it
is obvious that you are the prize, that you have standards and that you
know what you want. Third, it establishes that women are a regular part of
your life (preselection).
This is *not* delivered playful or c&f or anything, just a genuine comment.
Jealous Girlfriend (Style)
“Hey guys, I need a female perspective on something. This’ll only take a
minute. My roommate’s girlfriend just found a shoe box he keeps hidden in
a dresser drawer, and she’s really upset about it.
It’s nothing bad, just pictures of him and ex-girlfriends on vacation and old
love letters he got in high school and stuff. But for some reason his
girlfriend is freaking out about this and wants him to get rid of it or she’s
threatening to break up with him. So now she wants him to burn the box or
she’s leaving him, isn’t that fucked up?? Is this normal female behavior?”
Girls Fighting Outside (Mystery)
"OMG!… did you see those two girls fighting outside? Like right outside the
club... they were totally going at it; one was pulling the others' hair, and the
other one drew blood with her nails. And they seemed to be fighting over
this short guy; he was standing near them just totally laughing!”
Two-Part Kiss Opener (Style)
PUA: Hey guys, we're having a debate and need a quick opinion on
something. If a guy is dating a girl, and she goes out to a bar with her
friends one night and makes out with a guy just for fun, is it cheating?
GROUP: Yeah, it's cheating.
PUA: Okay, that makes sense. So here's the real question. And I'll tell you
why I'm asking in a second: If she goes out and gets drunk and makes out
with a GIRL for fun, is it cheating?
GROUP: (the responses will vary, but if any guys say "no," you can bust on
them for having a double-standard etc.)
PUA: Okay. Interesting. The reason I'm asking is because my friend over
there has been dating this girl. And she likes to go out and get drunk and
make out with girls. Now, some guys might be into that, but it pisses him off
and he thinks it's cheating. She says it isn't. So we were trying to figure out
who was right.
Blond Hair (Tyler Durden (TD))
YOU: Guys.. get this.. I need an opinion..
THEM: What???
YOU: I'm thinking of dying my hair, TOTALLY BLONDE
THEM: no.. yes... no.. (they debate)
YOU: how about like this.. streaks.. etc etc
G-String Opener (Badboy)
PUA: Hey girls, I need female opinion on something...My friend totally
fucked up his relationship with his girl. Actually they are still together...in
love with each other...
Set: What, what?
PUA: Last month, he cheated on his GF with another girl from college, and
his GF found a g-string from that girl in the bathroom the next day. After a
big drama, he told her that he actually has a fetish of dressing in girls
underwear...
Now. A month later, my friend tells me that his GF found that a total turnon, and she requests from him almost every night to dress in her
underwear....he told me he feels really stupid walking around his house in
girls underwear......what do you think he should do now?? Is it time to tell
her?? Cause they are totally in love!!
Girl: You are actually asking for yourself, aren't you??
PUA: Yes...wow...yes I am shy... anyway... what kind of panties do you
have on yourself now?? What color.. I really love pink ones..show me....
Sincere Compliment (Papa)
PUA: Hey...are you someone confident enough to accept a sincere
compliment?
HB: Hee...hee. Sure.
PUA: Cooool. Me too!! Hey, you go first. [pointing back to me] Fire away.
Do I look Gay?
Preferably used with a wing and with a game-show host/party host attitude.
[a] "I need your honest opinion on something... do I look gay?" Some
chicks will bust out laughing when you ask this. "...Because something
really funny just happened, this dude was hitting on me in another bar!"
[b] Better is to use this with a wing and change it to: "Does MY FRIEND
look gay" because it eliminates the self-conscious aspect. The person who
was supposedly hit on must play it off as something totally funny and even
flattering.
David Bowie (TD)
"Guys, do girls think that David Bowie is hot? Get this...my roommate’s little
sister, she’s 7 and half years old, has a HUGE picture of David Bowie on
her wall. I’m not talking an 8x10; I’m talking a 4-foot by 6-foot POSTER! It’s
like the first thing she sees when she wakes up in the morning. David
Bowie is a freaky looking OLD MAN! She’s like 7 and he’s like 70. I’m
seriously worried about my roommate’s little sister…”
Wheelchair (TD)
"Hey guys, would you date a guy in a wheelchair? What if it was a REALLY
NICE wheelchair?”
Thug Lovin (jlaix)
“Hey guys. I'm doing a poll. Which is superior... which do the ladies prefer
more... THUG LOVIN'? or... GANGSTA LOVIN'? Well, my ex said gangsta
because its more hard-core whereas thug lovin is more like a hobby. But
my other ex said gangsta would be disrespectful, like they'd pistol whip you
and run a train on your ass, whereas thug lovin, the dude is hard, but when
it comes to the ladies, he's smooth and sensitive...he knows when to step
up his love game.”
This is one of Decibel's favorites. If you're talking about thug vs gangsta
love and you're a short white kid with acne, it's so incongruent it's bound to
hook. You also can say you're writing a song and couldn't decide which
direction to take it.
My Little Pony (jlaix)
'Remember that shit 'My Little Pony'? Well, I was thinkin about this today,
and I can't remember... did they have powers? Like, I remember they could
fly, but I thought they also had little symbols on the hip or something that
gave them powers, but they were like, lame-ass powers like Sharing and
Honor or some shit. My little sister used to have them and I'd play GI Joes
with them, like, GI Joe would fly into battle on My Little Pony, then blast
Cobra with a fuckin machine gun blah blah blah...'
ARE YOU SHY?
'Are you guys shy? I’ve been standing here talking to my friend for like 5
minutes now and you still haven’t said ‘hi'.' Alternatively: 'Hey, you know
why you suck? I’ve been standing her 10 minutes and you haven’t come up
to me to say hi.'
COLOGNE OPENER
Put a different cologne on each wrist and ask girls which one smells better
on you. Go back and forth several times between arms. Before you extend
your wrist, each time take a sniff of the wrist yourself. Include the guys in
the set. Carry a pen and mark the wrist she voted for, telling her you need
to figure out which one to buy.
DATING FOR DUMMIES (Herbal)
Go find the Dating for Dummies book. It's bright yellow and black. Find the
page that has "NEVER USE THESE LINES" on it, and keep the book open
to that page. Walk up to a girl BLATANTLY and hold the book up in front of
your face so she can easily read the title. She might start laughing,
depending on how you do it. Then slowly lower the book and read the lines.
"So... come here often" in a super player voice. She will crack up and
answer you. Break your "smooth" look on your face and quickly bring the
book back up and read the next line "What's your sign?". She will laugh
again and probably answer. Then say "Wow... this works great. Your turn".
It puts her on the spot. You can flip to random pages and do tons of roleplay... the breaking up stuff is great.
DENTAL FLOSS (Style and Mystery)
'Hey guys, I need to get your opinion on something. It's very important, and
we need a woman's perspective. It's a matter of life and death.. My friend
and I were having a debate and your answer could completely change my
entire life....Do you brush before floss or floss before brush? No one
knows…'
DON’T TOUCH ME (David D.)
When a girl bumps into you in a crowded club tap her on the shoulder and
say “don’t touch me” … have something to immediately follow up with.
Alternatively, you can whine…'owww, that huuurrrt. I hope you have a good
lawyer, sister.'
80's Music (Twentysix)
'Hey guys, help me out, I have this song stuck in my head ALL day and I
can't remember who sings it. it goes "you spin me right round baby right
round like a record player right round, round round, etc...." who sings
that??? I was talking to my mom earlier today and she said its Lionel
Richie… but I KNOW that isn't right!'
Song Stuck in My Head
A favorite opener by Decibel is similar to 80s Music. Approach and say
'What is the cure for a song stuck in your head? I have the song...'Rollin'
Rollin' Rollin'...What's the name of that one?' (It's Rollin' by Limp Bizkit).
She'll probably say, “Listen to another song.” To this you say, “That WAS
the other song. The first song was <insert some lame unpopular song
here>.” Sing that song, then say, “Oh great, thanks a lot. Now I have that
song stuck in my head again.”
ELVIS OPENER (Mystery)
'Did you know that Elvis dyed his hair black? What was his natural hair
color? Dirty Blond. Did you know that Priscilla Presley also dyed her hair? I
don't know what her natural hair color was, I'm not Cliff Claven, but can you
picture that these two every couple of weeks would dye their hair black
together around a dirty sink in some sick mass-appealing ceremonial
ritual? I bet people never considered that before ... did you?'
FAT ELVIS (Wilder)
PUA: Hey guys, if you were going to hire an Elvis impersonator for your
friend's birthday party, would you hire a young Elvis or a Fat Elvis?
HB: Blah, blah, blah. (if she says young Elvis bust on her for being shallow)
PUA: Get this, my roommate lived in Graceland for a year and he said the
craziest thing. He told me that the fat Elvis impersonators always got the
hottest chicks, and the young Elvis's were always alone. I couldn't believe it
at first, but I thought about it, and it kinda makes sense. I guess women just
lose all control when the see a fat Elvis impersonator doing "hunka hunka
burnin' love."
KHAKI OPENER (superfly)
'Hey, guys, my friends and I were making fun of some frat boys, and got
into an argument...is khaki a color or a fabric?' (The correct answer is that
khaki is a color of fabric, and most girls know this.) 'See, I was thinking it
was a color, but the thing is that you never see a khaki car or wallpaper
color or anything like that!'
KINO OPENERS (TD)
Pushing girls, grabbing drinks out of their hands, lightly hip checking them,
snapping bra straps, grabbing hats off heads, poke her, tap the opposite
shoulder, etc…
I'M LOST (TD)
'I'm lost... I can't find my friends and I'm scared... Remember when we
were kids and you could just make new friends whenever you wanted...
and you said 'want to be my friend?' Do you guys want to by my NEW
friend?'
INTRODUCTION OPENER (ijjjji)
PUA: (grab unsuspecting HB by the arm and point at a random dude)
"OMG, that guy is PERFECT for you - let me introduce you!!" (start moving
towards the guy)
HB: What?! No.. NONONO.. haha.. Help!
PUA: (to guy) This girl is so shy, but she really wanted to meet you!
HB: (Giggling hysterically) No no no... its not true!
PUA: Awww come on.. don't be shy...
NEVER BE A COUPLE (ijjjji, TD)
"Aww - you are soo cute.. but you make me SO SAD! (HB:WHY?) (pause
with puppy dog face) Cos we could NEVER EVER be a couple!
(HB:WHYYY???) Nooo.. we are too similar.. IMAGINE, we would be SO IN
LOVE.. and the next moment, we would be fighting and screaming and
throwing things.. and then we would have HOT MAKE UP SEX all over the
place.. and then fight, makeup sex, fight, make up sex.. after a week we
would both be in psychiatric care due to emotional drainage!"
PICKING UP CHICKS
“Hi, we’re picking up chicks”
RICKI LAKE (Mystery)
This one is used to wing your buddy, especially if he's in a two-set and the
obstacle needs to be kept occupied. Use some alternative talk show
currently on the air.
"Hey, my friend here just got invited to be on the Ricki Lake show. But the
theme of the show is Secret Admirers. They told him he's got an admirer,
but he won't find out who until he's live on the set. So maybe it'll be
someone cute, but maybe not; it might even be a guy. What would you do if
you were him?"
SEATTLE GF (TD)
"Hey guys, I need an opinion. My friend met this girl in Seattle, and they
really hit it off. They wound up hooking up on the first night, and he even
hung out with her in L.A. over the next week. So he's up visiting her in
Seattle last week, and they're out on a walk. He takes a few pictures of
them together. Like really cute ones with them together. Some of them
they're just hanging out, and a few of them they're like kissing or whatever
while they're out walking.
Anyway, the next morning he wakes up, and checks his camera. He looks
at the pictures, and he sees that she's woken up before him and gone into
it and deleted the pictures where they're kissing, and left the ones where
they're just hanging out. He goes to her and says 'Are you psycho? Why
are you going into my camera?' She says its because she thought she
looked bad in the pictures, and didn't want him to have them. But he can't
figure out if she's psycho or if its legit that for girls they just hate having
pictures out there where she doesn't look good. He just really liked them
because he likes her and doesn't judge the pics like that."
The girls will either say:
"It's totally natural. I hate it when pictures make me look bad, especially
with a digital camera where you can just delete them and take more." (They
also sometimes say "But he's only known her a few months. I wouldn't do
that on a guy I just met.")
-or"She has a boyfriend!"
Your immediate reply would be "He doesn't care about that. He's busy. He
just doesn't want her deleting his pics!"
SEXY MONKEY (Tenmagnet)
'Do you think Curious George is a sexy monkey? 'Cuz my little cousin was
watching Curious George on TV yesterday, he's two and a half and he
pointed at the screen and said "Sexy Monkey". Like WTF?!? I didn't teach
him that... NO REALLY I DIDN'T.'
SPELLS OPENER (Mystery)
"Do you think spells work?" Sometimes this will send the woman off on a
long blab, but if the conversation needs to be kept going, the follow-up
routine is:
"The reason I'm asking is because my friend over there met a girl in a club
last week. He wasn't interested in her sexually, because she wasn't really
his type." (Here the woman might say "Sure," in which case you reply "No,
really!" and touch her arm or waist.) "Anyway, she hung out at his house
and after she left, he found a metal ring wrapped around a scroll and some
feathers under his couch. Well, he took it to a magic store and they said it
was an attraction spell. And now, the strange thing is, he can't stop thinking
of her. Do you think it's the spell or just psychological?"
Alternative:
'Do you believe in spells? My friend Johnny woke up one morning with his
new gorgeous girlfriend, and he finds this bag of bones under the cover. So
he takes the bag to a woman who sells all that hocus pocus stuff, and she
says the bag of bones is a spell used to generate attraction in men. Now,
the girl was absolutely stunning, but before the bones Johnny wasn’t that
into her, but after he found the bones, he’s been madly in love with her. So
do you think the spell worked, or is it all nonsense?'
TATTOO OPENER
'Hey guys, would you ever get a tattoo? Here’s the deal…my nineteenyear-old sister wants to get her boyfriends name tattooed on her shoulder.
(HB: no, no don't let her do it) See that’s the problem she's really strong
headed and when I tell her not to get the tattoo it just makes her want to
get it even more. How do I deal with that and let her really know its
mistake?'
Embellishment: 'And the worst part is his name’s Herman. Would you ever
date a guy named Herman? Don’t you think Herman is a deal-breaker
name? I had a friend named Herman and he couldn’t for the life of him get
a girlfriend. So he decides to start calling himself Troy, and now he’s
getting laid like a rock star.'
TEXT MESSAGE BREAK-UP
Is it OK to breakup with someone with a text message? (Then make up a
good back-story for this)
TWIN BROTHERS (Ross Jeffries)
'You're at a club and you meet twin brothers; they are absolutely identical,
physically. ONE of them has the best hands of any guy you've ever met.
The other is an incredible dancer. Which one do you pick? Same scenario.
Again, the two guys are identical. One makes you laugh more than anyone
you've ever met. The other is the most incredible kisser you could ever in a
lifetime encounter. Which one do you pick? Same scenario: One guy has
more money than Bill Gates. The other makes you feel like you are the
most beautiful, desirable woman who ever walked the face of the planet.
Which do you pick?
WHO LIES MORE (Chris Rock version)
'Hey guys, I need a female opinion… who lies more Guys or Girls?? The
way I see it guys tell the small lies like “you’re ass doesn’t look fat in those
pants” but girls… they tell the big ones... like... “It's your baby!”'
C and U shaped Smiles (Style)
Style: Smile again for me.
HB: um, okay.
Style (to wing): See, she's a U.
HB: ????
Style: I dated a girl who wanted to be a pop star. And she had a theory that
people with U-shaped smiles were perceived as unfriendly. And people
with C-shaped smiles were perceived as friendly.
HB: So what's a U then?
Style: A U is when your teeth go straight back in your mouth (can add "kind
of like a horse" if she's a SHB). A C is when there's a big row of pearly
whites in the front. And to my ex, it was more than a theory. She actually
got her teeth surgically reshaped from a U to a C.
HB: No way.
Style: And she had me go look at pictures of like Christina Aguilera, who is
a U, and Britney Spears, who is a C. Look at the cover of Us or any
magazine, and you'll see that it's always a C smile on the cover.
From here, me and the target start inspecting the teeth of random
strangers looking for the perfect C or U. It's fun.
Jealous Cat
"My friend has been going out with a girl for about three months and they
get along really well, they love each other heaps, but her cat hates him.
Like whenever he tries to pet it, it will just look at him like he's an idiot and
walk off and one time he left his shoes by the door and it pissed on them.
What do you think he should do? We've thought of four things :
1. Just be nice to it even though it's going to hate him.
2. Ignore it.
3. Say to his girlfriend : It's me or the cat.
4. When she's not looking 'accidentally' (two fingers motion) run it over with
his car ..."
PVC Devil (TD)
"Oh, you're getting feisty, huh? You know what I would do with you? I
would dress you up.... in a red.. PVC... *devil* outfit.. You'd have little horns
like this... and a tail... bitch boots, and..... a pitch fork. Now your friend
here.. I'd dress her up in a similar angel outfit.. with wings.. and a fur halo..
and I'd roll with you guys on each arm down the street.. Every girl would be
jealous of you.. And whenever I'd have to make a decision.. I'd let each of
you fight over which decision is the most fun.. and whatever one would be
the most fun.. we'd do that."
Negs Collection
Aww.. your eyes are lovely... especially the left one!
Aww.. nice teeth! Are they real?
Wow.. you work out.. now and then..
Wow.. you could ALMOST be a stripper!
You are pretty.. you could have been a model.. if slightly taller.. and
slimmer..
You could be a model...like a HAND model, I mean.
You are pretty.. are you an EX model?
I had to come talk to you cos you looked so cute.. from over there! (point)
You look really sexy.. from behind!
Aww.. nice hair!!! Is it real? (pull) Hey it moved! ... Wow.. you could be a
hair model.. if you lose the split ends!
You are cute.. in a kinda strange way!
You got an interesting figure!
You have something on your nose.
'Cool perfume. I think my granny wears the same.'
"Your hands are so SOFT and GENTLE,.. Like toilet paper".
"You look very stunning, must be the lighting"
"You have some real beautiful, gorgeous hair, like Lassies"
The Cutest Little Kid
My buddy and I were rolling down Sunset yesterday and we saw the cutest
little kid. She looked like she was about 7, and had on this adorable little
pink skirt and white tap shoes, and a bonnet. She looked like a little stuffed
doll. So my bud says we should adopt this kid because she’d be a great
chick magnet. So I roll down the window and say, ‘hey kid, what’s up?’ And
the little girl looks at us and gives us the finger. That’s LA for you.
Best Friends (Expanded) (TD)
You guys are best friends aren't you? You have exactly the same facial
expressions. And how I know you’re close is every time you start to talk, or
I'm talking to you, you guys keep looking at each other first. It’s like girl
code.
Sexual Predator (TD)
The method: Show that girls are sexual predators, and then while chatting,
keep going back to showing them why what they're doing is just designed
to take advantage of you. That's it.
Step 1 - EXPANDED SEXUAL PREDATOR ROUTINE
Lay a STRONG humor anchor. They have to be laughing out of their
minds, so that you can keep re-using the callback humor through out the
pickup.
"You know what? I can't even trust you guys. Girls are predators. Girls are
SEXUAL predators! Guys think that they seduce women and have all this
power. Yeah right! Girls choose. They choose. The guys just dangle
themselves in front of them *thinking* that they made it happen, but they
don't realize that its the girl who chose THEM.
Girls are predators.. They hold the cards.. Examine the evidence.
First, when a guy gets mad at his girlfriend, can he strap on his bitch boots,
shove up his push up bra, do up his hair and makeup, and head out to the
bar and pull a girl home in under five minutes? Yeah right! It's GIRLS. YOU
GUYS have the power to do that, not us guys! (wait while girls laugh)..
What percentage of guys can do that? Look at them (point at guys)..
They're leaning in and touching, making the girls all uncomfortable, but
some of the girls like them anyway.. But the guys THINK its that they were
aggressive.. So what, like 5% of guys TOPS can do what 100% of girls can
do.
Second, girls are the only gender with one organ designed for NOTHING
ELSE but sexual pleasure. (wait while girls laugh) And on that organ, there
are ten times more nerve endings than anything a guy has. (wait while girls
laugh)
That's why, when GIRLS have sex, they go (put hands onto hair, and do
the following very convincingly, like Meg Ryan "When Harry met Sally"
style) "uhhhhhh.... oooohhh.... uhhhhhhh.." (wait while girls laugh
hysterically screaming their heads off)
IDEALLY, THE ROUTINE IS SUPPOSED TO DO THE FOLLOWING:
-sets a humor anchor that can be re-used to keep them giggling throughout
the duration of the pickup
-gives you fodder to do "busting them on their mannerisms" stuff.. You can
now tease them on their actions, and tease them on what they say,
showing that its all designed to take advantage of you
-provides a C&F role playing frame for them to play in, that results in them
seducing you
-makes the obstacles/peer group love you, because they think you're really
fun, and it makes them trust you with their friend that you won't be pushy
-establishes a frame that girls are meant to seduce guys, and its
normal/cool/fun
-conveys that you know the deal about social interaction
-conveys that you know not to make girls feel uncomfortable by being
pushy or trying to "seduce"
-conveys that you probably ARE one of the 5% of guys who can pull a girl
home, because just implying that you know what's wrong with other guys'
approaches, suggests that you know how to do it right
-mindfucks her into a frame where she's becoming more sexually
aggressive
STEP 2 - MISINTERPRETING THEM AS TRYING TO PREY ON YOU
Point out real IOIs (there will be a lot), as well as MISINTERPRETING
things that are not IOIs, in order to mess with girls in the set who are not as
into you.
-(point) "Hey, you just licked your lips!” (back off like you're scared)
-"Hey, you're touching me.. Hands off the merchandise.. I'm just trying to
talk to you.. I just want to talk, and you're just SITTING THERE WAITING
for me to talk so I can feel ready for you, and you're not even listening to
what I'm really saying... You're just biding your time until I feel comfortable
with you."
-"Hey, stop giggling at me.. It's making me feel really good.. Stop it.. Stop
being so attracted to me" (this must be in deep attraction, or sounds lame..
if it's in deep attraction, it makes her REALIZE that she's attracted
-"Hey! YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO ME! STOP IT! I JUST WANT TO TALK,
STOP BEING SUCH A PREDATOR!"
-"Hey! You guys think it's all fun and games.. Like you can just do this, and
everything will be FINE.. But you probably didn't even know about the
hidden damage you're doing.. Did you know that 99% of all college-age
males who get date raped commit suicide within 1 year? Did you know that
when you're taking advantage of a guy for your own pleasure that he walks
around depressed and alone for the rest of his life! I don't want this to
happen to me! Stop it! No no no, now you're licking your lips again.. Stop
stop stop (engaging the group, so you're saying stop to everyone in the
group individually).. “Help!"
-For girls who aren't as attracted in the set: "Hey, you're leaning away but
your knees are pointing at me.. You're trickier than your friends.. You're
trying to go in under the radar but your knees are giving it away... OK she's
scaring me the most.."
STEP 3 - JUST CONVEYING PERSONALITY SO THE GIRLS GET TO
KNOW YOU, QUALIFYING YOUR TARGET, BUT ALL THE WHILE REINITIATING STATE WITH CALLBACK HUMOUR
The idea is that you're running a normal pickup, but using callback humor
and the cocky & playful role playing stuff. So this gives you the
maneuverability to run a nice normal conversation, but keeping the
interaction charged with this stuff.
-Use "reverse-EV" type stuff, so that she's finding out positive things about
you and building trust. The whole pickup lasts usually around 4-7 hours,
start to lay. You're supposed to be conveying personality during this time.
The accusing-them thing is something you do as their state drops, or when
you see a good opening to do so. It's not the entire method, since just
teasing won't get you laid except by party girls. With party girls, just tease
the fuck out of them, that's it.
-Qualify her to you, and every time you act impressed lean in, and then say
"wait a minute.. what are you doing.. I can't talk to you anymore, you're
trouble"
-Ask her arbitrary questions about herself, and then pretend like you're
hitting buying temperature, but then cutting it off because you're afraid that
she'll take advantage of that. "PUA: What's your sign? HB: Libra. PUA:
OMG I love you (take hands).... Wait, I can't talk to you anymore.. You're
trouble.. Go away (push her away and turn your back on her and face her
friends and say "she's trouble")"
-If she does something really impressive, pretend like you freaked out and
hit high buying temperature, and jump in and kiss her, then go "aaaah....
what are you doing to me???" and turn around and move away from her
like you're scared that she manipulated you to do that.
-Condition her (like Pavlov's dogs) to keep doing things that will seduce
you. She'll grab you, etc.. Reward her with kino, or whatever. But then also
run away when she escalates it too much. Mindfuck her into trying to
seduce you. The girls seem to think that this is really fun, because they feel
safe and on their terms, and also they seem to find it a turn-on. Bear in
mind, you're coming in super-confident (you opened them, you held court
in the set), so its obvious that you have alot going for you.
STEP 4 - LAY LOGISTICS
-Start acting possibly convinced. Her friends will start trying to convince you
to stay, and they'll start qualifying your target saying that "she's safe PUA..
don't worry.. you can trust her.. go with her.." etc etc..
-When you walk home together, don't be too eager to keep the joke going.
At the same time, when you get her home, walk past your bedroom, and
one last time say "Hey! See this is exactly what I'm talking about.. Wait in
the TV room.."
-Then, grab your blankets, and run into the TV room.. Throw them on her
like its all funny and jump on the couch in a way that makes her laugh
(humor disarms escalation to pickups.. if you escalate a pickup, but make
the girl laugh while you're doing it, she'll backwards rationalize that she
wanted you to escalate). Then say "C'mere c'mere c'mere.... it's cold it's
cold it's cold..." (in a funny way so she laughs that you're basically putting
her in a very compromising position).
-Once she's on top of you, STOP TALKING.. It starts getting heavy..
Breathing starts synchronizing.. You're breathing in her ear maybe and
fingers are interlocked and you're getting closer.. Then say "uhhh ohhh..
mmmm... ummm.. this is OK I think... uh oh.." and start kissing her.
-Take it from there.. If the joke is still working (it may be SO PLAYED by
this point, but if it is STILL WORKING), feel free to make liberal use of
callback humor to disarm any last minute resistance (misinterpret her LMR
as her just trying to get you more comfortable)
**NOTE: If the joke has become PLAYED, then don't insist on pursuing it.
The whole frame/routine is always good, but don't be routine dependent
and insist on pursuing it. If its fading a little bit, just move onto something
else. If its working consistently the entire time, then keep using it. Just
common sense.
Gay Cats (Wilder)
Initial hook: Start the story with, "Have you ever met a gay cat?" After this,
you'll have the undivided attention of your audience.
PUA: Ok, get this, my friend Sara, bought 3 cats some time ago. I don't
know what she was thinking when she bought them, but she bought all
three *male* cats. It was so funny. When I would go to her place to visit
her, I would see the cats spooning each other, sometimes even licking
each other.
HB: smiling
PUA: No Really. I told Sara "you know what, I think they're gay, I mean not
gay by birth, but maybe prison gay...you know. I mean they haven't seen a
female cat in months...what are they supposed to do" So Sara started
getting freaked out, its amazing how she never thought about it. And we
decided one day that we're gonna do something about it, coz the last thing
Sara wanted were gay cats. So we embarked on a mission to find a female
cat.
HB: hehehe
PUA: And Sara had a neighbor that she really hated, he had a female cat,
so once while the guy was away, we stole it and put it in the room with
three male cats. Only God knows what happened then.
HB: LOL!!
Punchline: "So now her neighbor's cat is knocked up. So pretty soon I think
I know where you can get your very own little gay kitten!"
Masturbating in the Shower
You: Did you know that 93% of girls masturbate in the shower?
Her: No
You: The other 7% sing. And do you know what they sing?
Her: No, what?
You: Oh you must be one of the girls that masturbates.
Fuck Marry Kill (TwentySix)
You play it by pointing out three guys in the club and telling her “You have
to fuck one of them, marry one of them, and kill one of them. Which one
would you do what to?”
Typewriter Fun
The top row of the typewriter is QWERTYUIOP. If a girl says 'My parents
were gonna name me Betty,' say 'My parents were gonna go with
Qwertyuiop. It's the top row of the keyboard...they were real computer
nerds.' It's impressive that you can remember the top row, and pronounce it
as if it were a real word. (credit an old Woody Allen stand-up bit).
What 10-letter word can you get from QWERTYUIOP (repeating letters are
ok)? 'Typewriter', of course.
Michelangelo Joke
'Hey I like your tattoo. Did you know Michelangelo was into body art? He
painted the whole Sistine Chapel on his back...get it?'
3rd Hand
'Hey, what do they call the 3rd hand on a watch? The 2nd hand. What's up
with that? That's pretty...FUCKED...UP!'
20 Dollar Bill (Magic Man)
PUA: "You guys won't believe what just happened"
HB's: "What?"
PUA: "This guy next to me dropped a $20 bill on the floor as he got up to
leave. He didn't notice and just started walking to the door. So I'm just
about ready to pick up the money and claim it for myself, when my buddy
here [he's standing next to you] taps the guy on the shoulder and tells him
that he dropped the money. I'm so pissed. What do you think of that?"
(The HB's usually respond "awwww, that's sooo nice" and give your friend
kino, which is money because it puts you right in a play-fighting frame with
the girls. The rest of the interaction usually goes something like this:)
HB's: "Awww, that's so sweet. You so did the right thing [to your buddy as
they kino him]"
Me: "You want to fight?"
HB's: "Yeah let's go. I'll take you down."
Me: "You kidding? You'll be on the ground in 30 seconds."
Then thumb wrestle with one of the girls.
Ask Her Age
Look at a girl in the bar and bet your target you can guess the other girl's
age. Before you go up to ask the girl her age, your target may get a look on
her face like you're about to jump from a plane. This is because it is
generally considered dangerous to walk up to a woman and ask her age.
When you run this bet, tell the target you do this all the time and girl's don't
mind it; going up on a dare is a DLV but looking like you're socially savvy
and know what you're doing will be a DHV.
Jezebel Closer
As you're exiting a set and you haven't done a name exchange, rather than
ask for her name, say 'It's Jezebel, right?' This gets beyond the AFC
formalities of a name exchange while implying you've met someone named
Jezebel recently, and shows your indifference.
The Midget Marriage
'Hey, what do you guys think of midgets? Because my sister...she's getting
married to a midget. And if they have kids, won't they all be midget kids? I
feel bad saying this, but midgets really scare me...and clowns. Clowns and
midgets scare the living crap out of me. Does this make me a bad person?
So how would you feel if you were me?'
Backwards TM Routine
This one demonstrates preselection. Have a friend text message (TM) you
this message:
'FWD: Did i like fuck dumb another to it send retard a like this reading time
ass sweet your took u since. (Read it backwards).'
Say, 'Hey I got this TM from a chick I met. She keeps bugging me with
these messages and calls, but she's not my type.'
5 Questions Game (5Q)
PUA: Have you played the 5 questions game?
Her: No.
PUA: Ok, let's play. But if I win you have to buy me a drink. And if I win, I
have to buy you a drink.
Her: Ok.
PUA: So the object here is I'm going to ask you 5 questions, and you have
to give me a WRONG answer each time. If you give me the CORRECT
answer, you lose. Got it? Ok. First question...(use anything situational, like
what color is this jacket, what's the name of this bar, what city are we in,
etc. Do this 3 times, each time, pausing to fluff, having to think about what
question you're on. Now when you're about to ask the 4th question, instead
think hard about what number you're on and say:) Ok, question
number...wait a minute, how many questions did we do?
Her: (option one, she's honest) We did three.
Her: (option two, she tries to be sneaky and lies) Uhh...we did ten.
PUA: (for option one) Aw! That's right! I win! You owe me a drink.
PUA: (for option two) Awww! You got me. Tell me the truth, have you
played this before?!
Her: NOOO! I swear!
PUA: Uh ha! I got you! That was the fifth question. You owe me a drink.
Now, a few comments on this. If a girl is not too drunk, this game generally
spikes her buying temp way up. She'll probably smack you and allow some
kino escalation. Second, you should make the point of this game a bet...so
then you have two options, bet for a drink or bet for kino. You may wish to
reserve this gambit for when there's enough attraction, and so you can bet
for a kiss (a real kiss). And when you do, don't make it sound like a
punishment and say 'you have to kiss me;' say instead 'if I win, I get a kiss.
And if you win...' (hopefully she says 'I get a kiss!' or else she picks your
poison). Actually there is a third option, and that's having her confide in you
some personal trait or secret, the goal of which is to deepen the comfort.
Another point, some girls insist they won even though you explain to them
how they lost. Don't use logic in these circumstances. When a girl thinks
she's won there's not much you can do to convince her otherwise; smile it
off and plow to the next topic, or better yet resolve with a thumb-wrestling
match.
And finally, use one of your questions to kino, such as pulling her hair and
asking what it's called or what color it is.
Italian Girl
'Guys, I just met this girl here, but she only speaks Italian. Do either of you
speak Italian? I really need a translator!'
J the Ripper's Midsentence Opener
Walk up to a set and start as if you're completing a sentence: '...and you, I
only have one thing to say to you!'
Pitbulls
Useful opening a seated set in a restaurant: 'Hey guys, will you be my own
personal pitbulls and bite anyone who tries to steal my table? I need to go
to the bathroom.'
Midgets and crack
PUA: Hey, what's up with all the midgets? I've seen like 3 or 4 midgets
here tonight?
HB: Duuuhhhh...Really? You've seen midgets?
PUA: I am so never doing crack again. Never...ever...EVER...again. High
five!
One can also simply enter with the crack opener, which is particularly
effective if you have a quiet/conservative demeanor such that it would be
totally incongruent. Alternatively: 'Hey, is tonight midget wrestling...or was
that Sunday? My friends are visiting from out of town and I was told they
had midgets wrestling here.'
The Whole Room Destroyer (Style)
After attraction is built, tell the target: 'Look, I'll introduce you to anyone in
this room – just point him out – and I'll guarantee he isn't nearly as
interesting as me and my friends.' If she declines, she is admitting you are
the best catch in the room that night.
Lipstick Kiss (inspired by Mystery)
This works just like peacocking:
Step 1. Have a girl leave a big red lipstick kiss on your cheek.
Step 2. Walk around the venue and either be opened on it or open with it.
1. AMOGs will either say it's fake or a guy did it, or something similar. Be
prepared for this.
2. Girls will try to be helpful by telling you there's a lipstick kiss on your
cheek. You can make up a story, or say it's a rash. You've just been
opened, so stack. You may something like: 'It was my friend...she got
excited. Fortunately, I have a lot of friends, and many of them happen to be
women.'
3. If girls aren't opening you with it, just walk up to your target and say, 'you
know, there's a huge lipstick kiss right here on your cheek...' And then she
tells you you're the one with the lipstick, and then you stack.
Role Playing
Creating a little fantasy world where you and the girl have some exciting
relationship, such as she is a dog and you're the master, or you're all in a
rock band together, or you're married to each other, are forms of role
playing that can be used to spike attraction. One subset is future projection,
where you may tell her a story about what kind of crazy fun thing you two
are going to do. These stories (or plotlines) can be funny, have an
emotional roller coaster feel to them, and send out a mixture of IOIs and
IODs that will raise buying temp.
Reframes and other BOBs
Her: “You’re not drinking anything tonight?”
You: “No, girls take advantage of me when I drink.”
Her: “I like your pants”
You: “Thank you. But just because you like my pants doesn’t mean they're
coming off.”
She spills:
You: “See this is why we can’t have nice things.”
If she’s singing along to the music:
You: “Who sings this song?”
Her: “……….”
You: “Oh really? Let's keep it that way.”
Her: I can't believe you're so much older than me!
You: Yeah, 21 is a little young for me, but I've always considered myself
open-minded.
Her: It's girls night out.
You: Yeah, it's guys night out too. In fact, I shouldn't even be talking to you
girls right now. (FTC, lock in and stack)
Shit Test Deflections
Avoid falling into a girl's trap of logically responding to a shit test, such as
'Are you a player?' Instead, go for one of the following escapes:
1. Ignore the comment and stack, though she may ask you the question
again later.
2. Agree with the comment, then comically exaggerate your response, then
stack.
3. Take the question and create a similar shit test for her, without actually
responding to her question.
4. Positive misinterpretation wherein you make it look like she's qualifying
herself to you.
5. Respond with a non-sequitur such as Sinn's 'Do you like lemons?' or
Mehow's '3+7=72.'
The OMG Openers (Style)
An opener that starts with 'Oh my god!' which hits a DHV spike. For
example:
'OMG, dude...where'd you get that shirt? I had that same exact shirt, and I
lent it to a girl one night when she stayed over, and I never saw it again. It's
like, I have to get two of everything, especially the clothes I really like,
because that way you'll never lose it.' (hits preselection and befriends the
man)
'OMG (to wing) who does this chick look like? (wing gives a name of a girl).
Totally, she looks just like (girl's name).' Then go into a story about how
that girl was your first true love in grade school.
'OMG, do you work at the Standard? There's this new waitress working
there, and you look just like her. I thought I'd be rude if I didn't say hi.'
Rock Star, Actor, Athlete or Director? (Style)
'Who would you rather date...a rock star, an actor, an athlete or a director?
It's funny, cause my friend actually said she'd rather date a director. And
when I asked her why this is, she said unlike rock stars, athletes and
actors, they don't age out...they can direct forever. And they aren't all
egotistical. Plus, when they're on set, they are the alpha dog. Actors are
like their little puppets, and the director is in charge.'
Albino Gary Coleman (Style/Swinggcat)
'Hey, my friend's gonna be here in a minute, and he just got out of a LTR.
So we're trying to help him get into another relationship, so we want to
know what do women find most attractive in a guy? Ok like, for you, what is
the most important quality in a man?'
HB gives a response, like personality.
'Ok, well, he doesn't have the best personality, actually. So, besides
personality, what would you say is like the single most important quality you
would look for in a guy?'
HB says something else, like his looks.
'Well, yeah, but he isn't really that attractive. So ok, aside from a guy's
looks and personality, what would consider the number one quality you
would look for in a man? What would he have to have in order for you to
date him?'
HB says a third quality, and then you say that quality doesn't apply to your
friend either.
'He's actually really short...like this high (gesture to chest level). 4'6” I'd say.
And really pale, with a giant afro. He kinda looks like an albino Gary
Coleman. But it's ok, you're not really his type anyway.'
The above is what Style has called an eliciting values routine, wherein the
target tells you what she seeks in a man.
PUA Opener (Decibel)
“Hey guys, I was just watching this show called The Pick-Up Artist.
According to the show, if I run a certain routine on you, you'll want to go to
bed with me. So is it ok if I try it out on you? Cool. Alright, so guys. I need a
female opinion on something. Who lies more: men or women? (wait for
responses) Ok...so did it work?! Do you want to sleep with me yet?”
Blind Date (Decibel)
“You must be Brenda! No? Well, I was supposed to meet a Brenda on a
blind date a half hour ago, and she hasn't shown...I'm just playing with you.
What's your name?”
Chapter Nine
Chick Crack
These routines involve cold reading a girl or set. If you tell a girl something
about herself, which may be a statement that is so vague it would apply to
most people, she'll get turned on...big time. Some famous examples are
The Cube and Strawberry Fields. Other forms are astrology and for some
added kino, palm reading. These tend to work best when in deep comfort.
To explain how you know any of these routines, you can say 'I read this in
Vogue...you know, my friends are always leaving their magazines at my
place!' This subcommunicates preselection, since guy friends generally
don't read Vogue. You can even throw in a joke about how perfumy they all
smell.
Note that while you can interpret anything strictly as presented here, it is
often best to create your own interpretation in ways that will move
seduction forward. So rather than cold read a girl and say 'I bet you're
difficult to get to know,' you may consider labeling her with attributes that
can help you, such as 'You seem adventurous,' or 'You go after what you
want,' or 'You're very non-judgmental' or 'You are passionate and love
being touched.' Often when you qualify a girl with positive traits such as
these, she will try to adhere to this characterization.
Strawberry Fields (Maniac High)
This is a game to find out some things about how chicks see sex. It is a
good state transitioner - from fluff to sexually charged conversation.
Intro: Hey, lets play a game! Imagine you are alone in a field, and see a
strawberry field in front of you with tasty strawberries. There is a fence
around the field. How high is it? (= how easy is this girl to take sex) Now
you are in the strawberry field, how many strawberries do you take? (=how
many partners that person wants) Ok, after you have finished enjoying the
strawberries, how do you feel about the farmer who's field you took them
from? (= how you feel to that person after fucking them)
4 Questions Game
'These questions will tell you a lot about yourself -- it's amazing how it
works, you might even find things about yourself you didn't even know. I'm
not sure that YOU REALLY WANT TO DO THAT.'
The 4 questions are:
1. Imagine yourself in a white room everything is white -- wall, ceiling, floor.
Describe your experience.
2. What is your favorite color ..describe it , what feeling does it have?
3. What is your favorite animal.. Why? Describe it.
4. Imagine yourself near a large body of water .. describe your experience?
What do you do?'
Answers:
1. That is your perception of death and dying.
2. You see yourself with the qualities that you answered to the question.
3. This is how people see you, with those qualities.
4. That is your view of sex.
Now obviously you have to probe a little deeper when asking the questions
so you can guide them into giving you the answers with enough depth to
analyze it and give them a core in-depth answer. Now because the first few
questions are very fluffy and general it's easy to get it right and get them
amazed at how accurate the answers are so by the time you get onto the
sex one (no. 4), you have got a huge rapport. They feel like you know them
an a deeper level. So when you get to question 4 because you have been
right for the last pacing statements about who they are as a person on a
deep level and I reframed that they may be surprised and find out things
about themselves that they didn't know themselves. This opens the gate to
be able to fill this last statement with leading assumptions instead of pacing
and they will totally agree, and obviously this is where you take the
opportunity to lay it on thick about their sexual belongings, desires, etc.
Here is an example to clarify things:
Imagine yourself in a white room. Everything is white -- wall, ceiling, floor.
Describe your experience. Her: Peace, calm, relaxed
What is you favorite color ..describe it. What feeling does it have. Red,
fiery, stands out, passionate
What is your favorite animal.. Why? Describe it. Dolphin is smart, free, fun,
cute.
Imagine yourself near a large body of water .. describe your experience?
What do you do? I jump in and swim
Answers
That is your perception of death and dying you feel at peace you feel calm
& relaxed.
That is how you see yourself: passionate, fiery, you feel you stand out in
the crowd.
People see you as free, smart, cute, fun.
That is your view of sex, love, excitement, etc. When you are with that
certain guy and you just know deep inside that this person knows you at a
deeper and a much more intimate level. You just find yourself wanting to
just let go to all the passion and excitement and the deep connection you
can experience.
The Cube (Organic)
The cube is a game of questions and symbols. It is five simple questions of
imagination that will allow you to lead a woman deeper and deeper into a
seduction.
For the origins of the Cube a person could read through The Secrets of the
Cube, by Annie Gottlieb. But, the pick up artist will find that he doesn’t need
to understand the traditional use of the cube. He only needs to know how
to use this secret seduction weapon.
Now, the Cube can be used at anytime in a seduction…
It can be used as a playful game to build attraction (by teasing a girl for her
answers and making your interpretations funny and unrealistic.) And, it can
also be used in the deepest phases of seduction to lead a woman’s mind
into her sexual desires (by making your interpretations sexual and erotic).
However, what we are going to focus on here is using the cube to build
trust and comfort. Most pick up artists will agree that the cube serves the
greatest purpose for developing this kind of real connection with a woman
you just met. It starts fun and playful as a game, and it ends by leading the
conversation into deeper and deeper levels of rapport. Building this type of
rapport is the real strength of the Cube.
The Design of the Cube
By now, it should be obvious that the details of the game are not nearly as
important as how you play. The structure will have many variations, and
everyone will play it differently. And that’s fine. Notice, the power of the
Cube isn’t to “be correct” or to give “the right interpretation.” - There are no
right or wrong Cubes. You can structure it how you like, and find what
works best for you.
“Have you ever done the cube?... Ok… I'll ask you a set of questions, and
when I'm done I'll know everything about you. Are you ready? Do you have
a good imagination? …Good.”
“Now, imagine in front of you is a landscape” (I’ll usually gesture with my
hand for them to imagine it in front of them). “And in the landscape there is
a cube. Notice what size is it, what color is it? What is it made of? Where is
it?
“Ok, next you see a ladder. Notice, where is it in relation to the cube? What
is it made of? What size is it?
“Next there are flowers. Where are they? How many? What do they look
like? What color are they?
“Next, there is a horse. What does it look like? Where is it? What is it
doing?
“And, last there is a storm. Where is it? What is it doing? What does it look
like?”
When she has visualized the entire image, then you can tell her the
meanings.
They are:
Cube = Her
Ladder = Her aspirations
Flowers = Her friends
Horse = Her ideal lover
Storm = Her challenges and problems
You can use a desert or a movie theater instead of a landscape. You can
introduce it by saying “I’ll know more about you than even your best friends
know.” Or “have you ever been cubed?” You can have her close her eyes,
or draw it out.
Some people may also use different meanings. (Ladder = family, or
coworkers, etc…) It’s all fine. Just remember, you want to talk about things
that will invoke the proper emotions in her, so avoid talking about things
like children or enemies.
Unraveling the Cube
So, it is one thing to know the rules of the Cube. It’s one thing to know the
meanings, and the images. But, the question remains: “What do I do? Just
make stuff up?”
Well, what DO you say?
* You can be vague and use generalities – Just talk about women in
general, and this will still have a powerful effect because she will relate to
it. And, she will realize that you understand people, you understand
women, and you understand her.
Example: You’re cube is xxxxxx. You are a very sensitive person. Probably
you are a very good judge of character and you can tune into those times
when people just want something from you. While other times you can
really feel when a person is being sincere with you. (This describes any
socially aware woman.)
* You can ask clarifying questions. Ask her, and she might tell you exactly
what something means, doing your job for you. Ask her how she feels
about the objects, or ask how they relate to each other.
Example:
Her: “My horse is leaning against the cube.”
You: “Really? Why is it leaning against the cube?”
Her: “Well, it’s just not strong enough.”
You: “Oh, I see. It seems like the men in your life haven’t been strong
enough. You need a man who you can just look into his eyes and listen to
him talk, and you know that he is strong… Etc… etc...”
* When you find aspects of the interpretation that really fit her, go into
greater detail. Tell stories from your life that relate to her, or give her
examples of how she might experience it in her life.
Example:
“You are a very creative person, but you’re not at a point in your life right
now where you are really using your creative abilities. It reminds me of how
I felt a couple of years ago. I was working in this job that just wasn’t
creative, and I…. Etc…”
* Use things that you already know about her.
Example:
I met two girls the other night. One was bouncing around dancing, and the
other (the one I liked) was standing calmer. Later, I ran the cube on her,
and she said that her cube was blue. I said “A blue cube means that you
are often calm and relaxed. And, sometimes your friends even come to you
just to absorb your calm energy when their lives are more hectic.” Of
course, she loved it.
* And… you can…. use your… intuition. Yep. Go for it. Be like the
enlightened master who has become one with his weapon and allow the
force to flow through you. You might not only surprise her, but yourself too.
* Keep your statements positive. In general, you want to phrase everything
as a positive statement. If you really want to tell a woman that she has low
self-esteem and that her life is out of control and hopeless, go ahead. But
don’t come asking me why she was suddenly turned off and depressed! It
may take some creativity to keep things positive, but it can be done.
I’ll give you an example. If she says she doesn’t like the cube and she
doesn’t think it belongs in the scene, you might be thinking “oh crap, she
hates herself?” No. You can tell her “well, when people see you they often
want you to fit you into a category with defined boundaries and hard edges,
but that’s not who you are. You are independent and when you find
yourself being put into a box, you know that it’s not where you belong.”
* One trick for keeping the interpretation positive is to interpret her ideal as
being the opposite of what she describes. For example: a weak and sickly
horse means that she has had too many weak men in her life, and she
really needs one that is strong and healthy.
* Add lots of Kino and strong Eye Contact. When you are bonding with a
woman on this level, it is important to keep enhancing this experience by
getting physically intimate with her.
* Take advantage of the horse. It is a great time to demonstrate that you
know what women want. If her horse isn’t ideal, then tell her it is an image
of what she has attracted to her in the past, and what she really wants is
actually the opposite. As you describe her ideal man, and get her thinking
about it. Look into her eyes and take on that character as yourself. She will
naturally start to see you as that man.
* Burst the tension now and then with a little cocky and playful comment.
By making a joke or teasing her, you will keep it fun and keep her
interested. Just be careful because she may be in a very vulnerable state
to be sharing with you, so don’t over do it. An example: “The Cube means
that…. (pause) …. You want my body. (smile)”
* Start the interpretation with a bold (but irrefutable) statement about who
she is and where she is in her life. This can be powerful and will
demonstrate your authority and understanding.
* Use all of the little parts to get a bigger picture of her. Try to get a broad
sense of who she is as a person, and then you can use that understanding
to lead your interpretation.
* Lead her into emotional states. Using descriptive languaging, you can get
her thinking and feeling on a deeper level. One way to do this is to take a
general statement like “you are adventurous.” And then go on to describe
what it’s like to be adventurous and how it feels. “You are adventurous.
You know, like when you are in the middle of an adventure you really feel
alive. As the excitement builds, you become focused on what you’re doing,
and you get totally wrapped up in what is happening…etc.”
* Share with her, and get into the state yourself. If you get into a vulnerable
state and reveal things to her, she will follow your lead. As part of this you
may want to relate stories that are meaningful to you.
* Share your own Cube. Do the cube on yourself and be ready to share
your answers with her if she asks.
* When getting started, it may help to memorize a few ideas that you can
use every time. For example, you can always talk about women’s intuition,
or how she wants a strong confident man. As you do the cube more and
more, you will begin to develop your own interpretations that always get
good responses, and you can have these in store for every time you use
the cube.
* Work with her, and go with what she says. You can use everything that
she gives you, no matter what she says. If she says that the horse has a
great cock, tell her that her ideal lover will be a great fuck. Go with it.
* Set the mood so that she feels good sharing. There is no need to rush the
cube or feel awkward in anyway. Use your calm trust building tonality, and
keep her feeling comfortable.
* Find commonalities and develop your connection with her. Since you are
learning about each other, this is a great time to find out what you have in
common.
* Don’t fall into the trap of being the entertainer. Don’t proceed to cube all
of her friends, and her little sister. You’re not her novelty psychic friend.
* Practice to get better. The more you do it, the better you will get, because
you will find that many responses are very common. Cube your friends,
your mom, your mailman, whoever…
* Tell her that her cube is unique, and you can even say “well, usually, that
would mean this… but with you, I think it’s a little different.” or… “Wow,
that’s such an interesting image.” Then, she will really feel special, and she
will think that you are giving her a very special gift.
*Don’t reveal everything. Leave parts out, or hint that there is something
more. Always leave her wanting more.
Further interpretation:
THE CUBE
Represents the woman's conception of herself. A huge cube covering most
of the scenery means she's got an inflated ego, a sense of high selfimportance. Other features of the cube could mean:
Tiny cube => feels small, insignificant, ignored, modest Cube resting on the
ground => generally has a firm foothold on reality Cube far away in the
distance => Feels left behind by life Cube flying in the air or levitated =>
daydreamer, imaginative but unrealistic Cube partly above the horizon line
=> ambitious Cube below the horizon => not very ambitious Cube resting
on its edge => metastable life, perhaps? Cube made of solid material =>
good sense of self-worth, well-grounded personality Cube made of gold =>
Thinks of herself as extremely precious Cube made of glass or transparent
cube => Considers herself pure Cube full of slimy stuff => Hates herself
completely Cube hollow inside => feels hollow, unfulfilled in the extreme
[interesting example: one woman know very well imagined the Rubic's
cube, being twisted and turned by a child. I was not surprised because she
has a sever persecution complex and total paranoia, considers everyone
else stupid and childish (has a holier-than-thou mentality), feels attacked by
the world, and is an emotional basketcase]
THE LADDER
Represents her close social support structure (friends; family in some
cases). Long ladder with many rungs => big social circle, has many friends,
outgoing personality, sociable Ladder made of some odd material => feels
her friends are weird, very different from normal people Ladder with few
rungs => has few close friends Ladder in a less than good condition =>
believes people around her are fucked up Ladder far away from the cube
=> Does not let people get too close to herself; keeps aloof, has a hard
shell around herself Ladder leaning against cube => Feels she does a lot
of things for her friends, supports them more than they support her, feels
she has some codependent people around her Ladder on top of cube =>
Feels her friends/family are overbearing, feels oppressed by them Ladder
much bigger than cube => feels small in her social circle\ Ladder
supporting cube (like, ladder under the cube) => feels her close associates
support her in her accomplishments Strong ladder => is surrounded by
strong people, feels secure in them Burned up ladder => Feels surrounded
by totally fucked up people who are ruining themselves
THE FLOWERS
Represent the place of children in her life. Number of flowers => children
she has or wants to have, or has/wants to have around (See * below)
Flowers close to cube => Feels very close to the children she has or will
have Flowers far away => Does not want children Flowers blooming well
=> Feels positive about her children's lives Flowers messed up => is
surrounded by screwed up children * Lots of flowers everywhere =>
Probably works with children, or would like to; (One chick I know had this;
she is a grade school teacher) Flowers shaking in the wind => feels
children in her life have hardships Flowers all around/over the cube =>
Feels overwhelmed by kids Flowers separated from cube by the ladder =>
feels her friends/family (do/will/might) interfere in her relationship with her
children Beautiful flowers (roses, poppy etc) => Finds children very
beautiful
THE HORSE
Represents her thoughts about her lover (or the lover she thinks she wants
or will have). Strong, large horse => Wants a protective, strong man Color
of horse => Possibly the race of the lover she wants (the teacher chick
mentioned above has a "Latin thing" - her horse was brown) Horse close to
the cube => Wants the lover to be very close to her emotionally and
physically Horse well separated from cube => Is reserved about opening
up completely to lovers Horse licking/sniffing the cube => Imagines/wishes
she's being doted on Small, submissive horse => Wants a lover she can
dominate Wild horse => wants a guy who is not tamed and will not be
tamed Tethered horse => Wants to keep him very restrained/restricted
Horse stomping on the cube => Has been or feels extremely abused by
lovers Horse destroying the flowers => Feels the lover will not be good
towards her children (single moms probably have this thing more often)
Horse messing with the ladder => Conflict between her lover and her
friends Horse far away or walking away => Feels abandoned Horse
separated from flowers by the cube => feels she will have to take care of
the children and manage her lover's relationship with them Weak horse =>
envisions being (stuck?) with a wimp [example: one chick I know had a
horse running around in a confined arena. She is a controlling, limit-setting
type chick who likes to watch her man react to her experiments with his
emotions/behavior.]
THE STORM
Represents her ideas about troubles in life. Storm in the distance =>
Troubles are not overwhelming her presently Storm approaching => Fears
crises in future Storm receding => Has had troubles recently but feels they
are over Huge, dominant storm => Feels her life is in deep shit Storm in the
distance, passing away affecting none of the other four things in the
scenery => Feels her life is relatively trouble-free, has few problems around
in her life. Small storm => Feels secure about problems she will face
Three Smiles (Magnums)
Any time the chick smiles, you can run this routine. It's best used once
you've established that you are cool, and that you are quite attractive to
her.
"Hey... you know... you have three smiles." (usually, she'll smile in
response to this) "and there's a fourth!" (she'll probably ask something, and
then you improvise along the lines of the following) "Yeah, that was your
'I'm flattered' smile, and then you have a... um, not fake... but a polite
smile... then there's this really genuine smile when you laugh, and your
whole face lights up. Then there's this smug, 'hey this guy fancies me'
smile. I've a feeling I might see that a lot."
Guaranteed to make girls fall in love with you. This is the sweetest thing
anyone has ever told them. They will remember it and think about it when
you are gone.
Palm Reading
Palmistry is a complex field, and only some of it would help the PUA in
field. The following are some key points that can be useful in kino
escalation; pick and choose the details that appeal to you. This is a kino
routine, so be sensual with your touch but not creepy. The major (or
dominant) hand tells you what she is doing in life currently, and the minor
tells you what she’d like to be doing in her life.
There are 4 main lines. At the base of the fingers runs the heart line, then
the head line in the center of the hand, and then the life line running along
the base of the thumb, and then the destiny runs down the center from
fingers to wrist.
Heart line indicates passion and emotion. Follow the line from the pinky
side to where it ends. The line often curves to end up at the base of the
index or middle finger, or in between (have her cup her hand to accentuate
the line). If it stops at the index, she is the type of person who mainly thinks
of the well-being of others. However she can be idealistic to the point of
expecting too much and become disappointed. If it stops at the middle
finger, she is more concerned about her own state over that of others
(mnemonic: think of flipping the middle finger to others). If the line ends
between the index and middle fingers, she is a well-balanced person; she
considers equally her own needs and the well-being of others. If the line
doesn’t curve but stops short at the middle finger, she is a person who has
difficulty expressing her feelings and will often let her emotions build inside
instead of venting them.
Head line is the cognitive, problem solving, reasoning stuff. It cross the
middle of the palm, starting at the thumb side. If it is not distinct, it is
because the girl is not using her mental capabilities to her fullest. The
length of the line has nothing to do with her intelligence. A shorter line
means she is a quick-thinker (shrewd) though often at the expense of overlooking details. A long line indicates a girl with a more complex thought
process (often over-thinking things).
Life line runs along the base of the thumb and represents not just health
and stamina but a girl's attitude towards her life. The length has nothing to
do with a person's life expectancy. The farther the line wanders away from
the thumb, the more adventurous that person is in life. The mount of Venus
is the mound of muscle at the base of the thumb. The larger and spongier it
is, the more sensual a person. Low, firm mounts indicate a person with little
passion.
Destiny line goes straight down the palm towards the wrist, though not all
people have one, and they can appear later in life. This line represents a
strong purpose in life. If a person knows their goals in life early and are
determined to achieve them, the line will be well-defined. The line does not
mean financial success.
Test elasticity. Take her hand and try to bend her fingers backwards at the
knuckles. If they go back easily tell her she is elastic, or has a go-with-theflow attitude in life and adapts to change easily. If she is stiff, tell her she is
stubborn and doesn’t change her mind easily.
Skin color. If the palm is pink, she has a good temper, is sympathetic and
loving. If her skin is red, she can have a bad temper and is very emotional.
Fingers. If a girl gives you her hand to read with fingers apart, she is
confident and not trying to hide anything. If the fingers are closed, she is
insecure or trying not to disclose information about herself. Longer fingers
are a sign of greater patience, shorter fingers represent impatience or
impulsiveness.
Now you can comment on rings, using the finger they wear a ring on as an
indicator of what kind of person they are (the Ring Routine). From thumb to
pinky: Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, Apollo, Mercury. These gods represent in
order: beauty/art, power/confidence/authority, bounty/harvest/sexuality,
healing/helping, and wealth/commerce.
Compare by looking at the back of the hand the length of Jupiter vs Apollo.
They should be the same length. If Jupiter is longer, that person is very
driven but maybe overly so. If shorter, that person may have been pushed
around in life, though can also take a break and relax easier as a result of
not always being in charge.
The base of the hand opposite the mount of Venus is the mount of Luna. A
large mount indicates a strong imagination. If this mount is very large, it
means the girl has her head in the clouds much of the time.
When done, have them make an OK sign and ask them what God this is…
Uranus of course (think about it).
Here are different ways of using palmistry in field:
1. Introduce the topic as a reward for something, like kino or
qualification/compliance. If it's in attraction, you may neg by saying she has
monkey fingers. If it's in comfort, don't neg.
2. Tell her you know this stuff because you learned it from Vogue/Cosmo,
because 'my friends are always leaving their magazines at my place'
(subcoms preselection). You can offer this or wait until she asks how you
know palmistry.
3. Do the routine using a lot of kino, and with a reading of her life, love and
heart lines. Skew the read so as to describe her in terms that help the
seduction (adventurous, non-judgmental, passionate, etc).
4. To defuse potential shit tests, you may end with the Uranus joke, unless
I've really hit home with the read, in which case I snip and stack.
Alternatively you never need a reason to start reading a palm. Simply begin
with 'Wait, you're really 23?' or 'So you're not from here?' and then take her
hand and say 'Let me see something.'
Circle - Rectangle - Triangle - Zig/Zag (Magic Man)
Take out a piece of paper and draw a circle, a square, a
triangle, and a zig/zag line all next to each other. Make the zig/
zag line like a diagonal W. Give the girl a pen and tell her to
draw a vertical line through one of the shapes, it doesn't
matter which one. Then tell her to draw a vertical line through
another of the shapes, then another, and finally through the
last one. Each shape represents something different in life,
and the order that she drew the lines is the order in which she
values each in her own life.
Here's what each shape means:
Circle - Sex
The shape of a circle makes up an O, like the O in orgasm or
the O a woman screams when she's having sex. Or the
vagina.
Rectangle - Money
A rectangle makes up the shape of a dollar bill, a check, or a
credit card.
Triangle - Security
A triangle is the shape of a roof on a house, which represents
shelter, protection, and overall security in life.
Zig/Zag Line - Creativity
A zig/zag line with no defining shape represents her creative
pursuits in life. This could be her career, her community
service projects, her artistic endeavors, her book, her real
estate project, etc.
So if she draws a line through the circle first, then the
rectangle, then the triangle, then the zig/zag line, it means she
values sex most importantly in life, then money, then security,
then creative pursuits. So then you can bust on her for being a
sexual predator. Even if she picks the circle second then you
can still accuse her of trying to pick you up.
If she picks the rectangle first then you can neg her for being a
greedy money whore.
If she picks the triangle first then the routine will make sense
because security and shelter is generally the most important
thing in a girl's life.
Very few girls will pick the zig/zag line first, but if a girl does
then she will at least partially identify with it as being very
important in life.
The routine is a win/win situation because if she chooses a
realistic order of shapes (triangle or creativity first) then she'll
identify with the routine, and if she chooses an unrealistic
order (circle or rectangle first) then you can banter and roleplay with her that she's using you for sex or for money. From
personal experience, girls usually choose the circle or
rectangle first, so get ready to banter.
Works best during day game or on a Day 2. Tough in noisy
bars and clubs, mostly because you need pen and paper.
The Lying Game (adapted from Style)
This is based on a little-known gambit of Style's from The Game, p 163. He
used it to steal his date away from Andy Dick. A woman thinks of 4
statements without speaking them, and you guess which statement is the
lie based on visual cues.
1. Ask the target if she's right or left handed. Palmistry is a good way to get
this info.
2. Fluff off subject.
3. Ask her or her friend if the target is a good liar. 'Ok, we're gonna find out.
Let's play the Lying Game.' (hold her hands)
4. During this test, the target must think of 4 statements about her car or
house, in any order, but 3 of them must be true and one must be a lie.
5. You say, 'Now, think about the first statement, but don't say it.' Watch for
visual cues. If they're right-handed her eyes will gaze up and to the right
(her right) on a lie, to the left on a truth.
6. Repeat until you've gotten four statements.
7. Hopefully, she looked right once and left 3 times. In essence, if one
response varied from the other three, use that as the lie. So for example, if
she looked right on question 3, you say 'Now, tell me what the third
statement was.' She tells you, and you say, 'That was the lie.'
8. If she's amazed that you got it, hug her and tell her she sucks as a liar.
Do some future projection relevant to lying.
9. If you got the wrong one, hi-5 and congratulate her on being a good liar.
Do some future projection, etc.
“It's your birthday!!!” (Decibel)
Walk up to some girl in a big set and say 'happy birthday!' or 'is it your
birthday?!' or 'It's your birthday!!!' Make sure she isn't wearing a birthday
tiara.
One of a few things will usually happen:
1. 'No, it's not my birthday...it's <girl's name>'s birthday!'
2. 'It's not my birthday.'
3. 'Yeah! It's my birthday!!!' (she's telling the truth.)
4. 'Yeah! It's my birthday!!!' (she's going along with the role-play).
5. IOD.
Here's what you do in these contingencies:
1. Go over and wish the birthday girl happy birthday, give her a hug. Even if
she's an ug, or if it's a guy, still befriend him/her. This will unlock the set.
Game the set, isolate the target or not.
2. 'NO NO NO! The right answer is 'yeah! It's my birthday!' That's how you
get free drinks in a bar.' If she asks you for a free drink, tell her she'll have
to ask one of the chodes standing around for that. Snip and stack.
3. Happy birthday to her and hug.
4. Happy birthday to her and hug.
5. Recalibrate your delivery and try another set. Or stay in the set and go
with another thread.
Anyway, once you've done a little gaming and kino, time to start merging.
'Hey, let's go make some friends!' Take the target to another set of hotties
and announce 'Hey everyone it's <girl's name>'s birthday! Whoohoo!!'
Merge sets and be the life of the fucking party.
Chapter Ten
Kino
Kino is an abbreviation of kinesthesia, which refers to touch. Escalating
kino means starting with very innocent slight touches (briefly putting the
back of your hand on a girl's shoulder), to more intimate touches. Kino lets
the target know your goals are more than just seeking friendship, and you
can't run game successfully without escalating kino. You know when you
can introduce more intimate kino as she complies or pongs your escalation
(called reverse kino). The end-point of kino escalation is sex, wherein you
give her the penor.
Buying Temperature
You’re running game, telling cocky funny stories, disqualifying yourself,
doing push-pull kino. Now you have her emotional state pumped, which is
known as the buying temperature (BT). If you haven’t DHVd and qualified
her, then you really haven’t generated true attraction. BT is not enough to
rely on to move into comfort, but it does facilitate larger escalations in kino
or bounces. This is partly why a PUA can walk up to a girl on the dance
floor and start making out with her within a few minutes, a feat rarely seen
in day game where BT is low. An AFC may think BT is enough to gauge
when deciding to # close, but the PUA knows flake rates are high and more
work needs to be done. In addition, one PUA tactic is to wait until another
man raises the target’s BT, such as after dancing with her, and then enter
the set, blow him out, and create kino compliance easier. In short, BT is
just currency with which to buy more comfort and attraction.
My Two Dogs: Meaty Treats (Decibel)
An analogy for BT is when I start to open a package of
meaty treats for my dogs. My Boston Terrier hears the
noise of the plastic and runs in the room excited. Now,
even before I give him a treat, he will speak, spin in
circles or even play my piano. He is complying, because
I have given him the promise of something delicious.
Likewise, if you promise to reward a girl with something
like a punchline or any other good feeling, she will begin
to comply with your commands. Hence, pumping BT is a
quick way to gain compliance from your target, even if
she's not a dog.
Plausible Deniability (PD)
PD is a way for a woman to justify to herself the escalation of kino, all the
way to sex. So for example, if you run a role-playing gambit that involves
touching her hand and arm, the girl can use PD to justify her compliance.
That is, it’s part of the story you’re telling that involves this kino, so she
allows it. Likewise, if a man says the girl has ‘hijacked my brain,’ she may
not feel as anxious about sleeping with him, because he has become
deeply emotionally invested in her and likely will stick around afterwards.
This is the girl using PD to justify sleeping with him.
A good example of PD comes with use of a camera in the club. As your
wing takes pics of you and your target, one of you can direct her to give
more reverse kino or exhibit more of herself 'for the camera.' By playing to
the camera, she will become disinhibited and comply more than usual.
Take a few different poses, each escalating towards the make-out or
exposed breasts. Let your wing take his time snapping the picture to allow
you more kino pinging.
Escalating kino
You can’t walk up to most women and start touching them in ways that
violate their sense of comfort. Opposite of this, the AFC may delay
touching or kissing until he gets the boldness to escalate, but by then it’s
too late and feels awkward. The PUA tests compliance and escalates kino
accordingly. For example, pretending to brush a lash off a girl’s face is one
way to see if she willing to allow the man to touch her face. Her PD would
be, ‘he was being helpful and brushing a lash off my face, so I allowed it.’
Typically, short touches are used first, and then longer touching can be
introduced. Similarly, areas of less intimacy such as the back of the
shoulder and the hand should be touched before more intimate places like
the thigh and knee.
Kino can be escalated via calibration, with hand holding, gentle shoulder
touches (first using the back of the hand, then the palm), both shoulder
grab while turning her to face you, and arm-in-arm walking. You can spin a
girl out of the blue, which is ‘flashing’ your social proof to the rest of the
room in anticipation of gaming others. It is critical the PUA demonstrate an
IOD after escalating, and it can include body rocking away, gently pushing
the girl away, throwing her hand away, or a verbal IOD such as ‘ok, get off
me,’ ‘don’t get any ideas,’ 'alright, now you're freaking me out' or ‘that’s all
you get for now.’ This motion or remark is called a calibrator, and it helps
defuse any unease the target may feel after the escalation.
“The three things you need to get laid like a rock star are:
confidence, preselection and the ability to sexually escalate.”
Adam Lyons
Glancing away during early kino can also defuse the touch, though looking
at her during touch is expected while in deeper comfort. Negging during the
kino move can disqualify yourself. Pushing a girl away during kino will
generally be better than pulling her towards you.
ASD (Anti-Slut Defense)
Girls may permit you to escalate (called passive IOIs), without actually
returning kino (called reverse kino). This may not be due to them not being
attracted, but rather because of the concept of the ASD. When a girl is in
full isolation, she may return kino more readily. But when she is in the
presence of her friends, even in a mini-isolation, her ASD is in effect. That
is, though she likes you she doesn't want to appear to be a slut to those
around her. If a girl complies with your kino escalation, even if she gives
mild verbal IODs or shit tests, consider her attracted and continue to plow.
ASD is sometimes so strong it will prevent her from offering a number
exchange, or sitting close to you, or engaging in dirty talk. It is therefore
your role to lead her, and assume she will follow.
LMR and token resistance (e.g. she moves your hand out of her shirt or
says 'we shouldn't be doing this') during S1 are forms of ASD, and as long
as you're receiving passive IOIs, you can continue to plow. When she is
forcibly resisting, then you've crossed the line and should de-escalate.
When a girl kinos a man, this is called reverse kino. Often, ASD doesn't
allow reverse kino, but if a woman is confident, drunk or highly attracted
she may give out reverse kino. You can find ways to bait the convo to elicit
reverse kino. Example: ‘Jeez, I ate so much today. My belly feels
enormous!’ This baits her to rub your stomach, as you jut it out. Example: ‘I
bet you’d probably kick my ass in arm wrestling. Let’s see.’ Feel her arm
and then offer up yours, and she feels you up.
Trigger Anxiety
It doesn't get much attention at all, but TA is a real phenomenon, and
almost as big a hurdle as approach anxiety. Most guys know about AA but
may give up on the community before ever getting a chance to really
experience TA. But it does exist and if you can diagnose it, you can begin
working past it.
The basis is fear of losing the validation/attraction that you've just
cultivated. If you can just keep the boat from rocking, get her #, then slink
back into the night, all will be well. The problem is, girls love to be
physically dominated by guys, and if you can't be that man, they often don't
want to see you again. It also means you are dependent on women for
validation, instead of being internally validated.
TA involves a) saying things that telegraph your sexual intent, and more
importantly b) escalating rapidly and without regard for being blown out. If
you have the confidence to dominate her, unapologetically and without
regard for the consequences, she'll generally be aroused. Some girls aren't
into this, but most girls who are attracted to a guy do expect him to be
aggressive. She wants a guy who will remove any responsibility from her if
sex should occur, and your dominance permits this.
Like AA, TA involves jumping into the 'cold pool.' There is no theory or
verbal game you can use to prepare you. You get in her face. You have a
look that says 'I am so gonna fuck you later.' You grab her, move her, pull
her into you. You do NOT deploy what RSD calls the purposeless hand of
doom, where your hand kind of hovers behind her without intent. You do
NOT use your hands to narrate a story in lieu of kinoing. You do NOT avoid
the make-out when she clearly wants it. But you also don't miscalibrate and
plow when her ASD is up or she's IODing you.
Perhaps the best way to escalate is when there is a buying temp spike. To
become proficient with kino, first make it a natural part of every interaction
from the start, but then associate BT spikes with escalation. When she
laughs, grab her. When she makes you laugh, pull her in or slap her butt.
When you're talking ear to ear and she's asking you about yourself,
randomly go for the make-out.
TA will stop you dead in your tracks. It'll prevent the pull and make the #
wood. Diagnosing it is the first step to getting it handled.
Evolution Phase Shift (EPS) (Style)
1. Tell her that she smells good and ask what she is wearing. Then lean in,
brush her hair aside, and sniff her slowly, moving up from the shoulder to
the ear. "Mmmm, that smells good. People don't pay enough attention to
smell. But you'll notice how animals, before they mate, will always smell
each other. Evolution has hard-wired us to respond to certain things. You
are wired to respond when someone smells you."
2. "It's like when someone pulls the back of your hair. You'll notice how
lions, when they mate, always bite and tug at the end of each other's mane,
right here." (Since I'm shaved bald, I'll add here, "This is what I miss the
most about not having hair"; if you have hair, say, "This is one of my
favorite things".) Then I run my hand up the back of her neck and grab a
fistful of hair at the roots and pull it, downwards. She says "mmmm..." And I
say "see."
3. Then I talk about how "no one knows this, but the most sensitive places
on the body are places that are usually hidden from contact with the air,
like the back of the elbow (touching it) and knee (touching it). Any place
where your body bends, twists, or folds, there are millions of sensitive little
nerve endings that release endorphins.” Then I take her arm, bend it a
little, and erotically bite the area on the opposite side of the elbow (that
crease where it bends). She usually gets the chills, and I have her ratify
how good it feels.
[NOTE FOR THE LESS EXPERIENCED: If you don't know how to
erotically bite a girl, learn before you do this. You want to take a big chunk
of skin -- not a little pinch! -- and slowly and firmly slide your teeth together
until they meet and release the skin. You may want to practice on your own
elbow first.]
4. After, I say, "But do you know what the best thing in the world is?...A
bite...right...here." And I point to the side of my neck. (Every now and then,
I'll add, that "this has to do with the fact that it is where the jugular vein is
most exposed, and since most sexual fantasies have to do with submission
and vulnerability, it sends all the fantasy signals flying.”) Then I'll expose
my neck and say, "Bite me right here" as if I EXPECT her to do it. Fifty
percent of the time she will. If she doesn't, I just turn away calmly (punish),
wait a few seconds, and then turn back and repeat, "Bite me right here."
Usually here she will.
5. Half the time, her bite is lame. If so, I correct her and say, "That's not
how you bite. Come here." Then I give her a good bite on the neck and
instruct her to "try again." This time, she ALWAYS does a great job.
6. Now you look her in the eye, smile mischievously/approvingly, and say,
very slowly, "not bad." Then glance down at her mouth, back up at her
eyes,
and...yes...finally...you...may...if
you
want...and
if
she's
ready...um...kiss!
Pinky love/pinky promise/pinky orgy
Girls take pinky promises very seriously, so if you ever need to seal the
deal, try to pinky promise it. When a girl requests a name exchange, you
can offer your name but do a pinky shake instead of the usual formal
handshake. If it’s a larger set, yell out pinky orgy and engage everybody in
2-handed pinky love. This is a good time to bring in your wing if he’s been
hanging around outside the set.
High-Fives
A quick way to get compliance is a high-five. Use your left hand for this to
assess her left hand for a wedding ring if you didn't already check.
Alternatively you can use a knuckle-tap. More than one high-five in a set
looks try-hard. If the attraction is high, you can hold onto her hand a bit
longer, and IOD by tossing it aside with a neg or tease.
Girlfriend Test (Juggler)
A great way to qualify girls and escalate. When a girl checks your status,
"Do you have a girlfriend?" Say, "To be my girlfriend (or lover) is a
prestigious and exclusive thing. There's a test."
Curiosity being what it is, she will want to take the test. There are three
multiple-choice questions. Take out a pen and write the correct answers on
her palm but forbid her to look. Then ask her the questions while you hold
her hand closed.
You should make up your own, but here are some example questions:
1. Which do you enjoy more? A shower or a warm bath?
2. What is the sexiest food? Whipped creme, chocolate syrup or
strawberries?
3. What feels better? Kisses on your neck or nibbling on your ear?
The correct answers are bath, strawberries and kisses on the neck. Most
times she will answer the first two correctly. The last question is up for
grabs. The crucial thing is that the last question is some sort of intense kino
or kissing that you can do right then. If she gets it wrong: Whisper in her
ear "I can't be with you if you really believe this (nibble ear) feels better
than this (kiss neck)." If she gets it right: "I'm glad you like this (nibble or
kiss). It is so much better than this (kiss or nibble)." Make sure you kiss and
nibble before you let go of her hand. If she gets all the questions wrong
give her a playfully hard time about it.
This test is used mostly after you have some connection. If a girl checks
your status it usually means she is interested. The purpose of putting the
answers in her hand is so she knows, as she is taking the test, that there
are correct answers which she may or may not get right. She will also
respect you for putting the interaction at risk. You are further demonstrating
you are not just accepting any girl. If she cheats by feeling out the letters
then she really likes you. You don't need to call her on it. Just proceed. But
if you want you can just write it on a piece of paper, put it in her hand and
then close it with your hand on top.
Thumb wrestling
Good for early kino, such as right after shaking a girl's hand. Lead the girl
through the moves to set up the match. Cheat to win because it drives
them nuts. This one and Style's 5 Questions Game can be used together.
So if she loses at thumb wrestling, you can let her try to win at 5 Questions
because you feel bad about her losing. Of course, she'll lose at 5
Questions also, and will owe you that kiss or beer. Another tactic is when a
girl gives you her hand to shake on a name exchange, take it and
immediately declare a thumb war.
Continuing the childhood games theme, you can try a match of rock-paperscissors. Or better still...the slap game. In this game, you put your hands
face up and she puts them face down (or vice versa), and you try to quickly
slap her hands. Essentially, anything that was fun and playful when you
were a kid, is good to use in pick-up.
Q: How do you wish a PUA luck with a girl?
A: You don't. An AFC needs luck. A PUA needs
condoms.
Shared Drinks or Food
When a girl offers to let you try her drink (or actually you get her to let you
do this through subtle suggestion), this is an intimate hoop that she is
jumping through. That is, letting a man she just met in a bar share a beer,
suck on a straw or take a bite of pizza may be a stepping stone to a kiss.
Calibrate and go for the kiss if you feel it’s on. Likewise, you can take the
reigns and start sipping from her drink periodically, uninvited; alpha males
take what they want.
Stolen Kisses
If a target asks for a drink and you’re in a large venue with lots of people,
say “ok, well normally if I buy a girl a drink, she first needs to give me
something. So pucker up.” You can get a kiss from her, then disappear ‘to
buy her a drink’ and never return. Or if you are running a good set, you can
buy the drink as a reward for the kiss.
Hug Dynamics
Hugging is an important form of kino, and a lot of info is subcommunicated
during the hug. Hugs can be given during the pick up as a way to release
possible anger after you overneg the target. They can be done at the
conclusion of a pickup to solidify the emotional connection that has been
created. As with all kino escalation, you need to be the one to release first.
A woman can IOI or IOD during a hug. For example, a ‘pity pat’ occurs
when a girl pats you on the back during the hug. This subcoms disinterest
or that you have hugged too long, and the PUA may respond by pushing
her off and going into a DHV routine. A PUA can IOD a girl a bit at the start
of a Day 2 by giving her a pity-pat, then at the end of the date if things went
well, give a real IOI hug. When she hugs breasts first she is probably
sending an IOI, as opposed to when she avoids chest-to-chest contact,
which may be an IOD. If a hug is accompanied by her touching your neck
or hair, of if she presses her cheek to yours, or puts her head on your
chest, these may be IOIs.
The Extrahug (Decibel)
You may find at the end of a date a girl will give you a
hug...then after 5 seconds she may tighten her hug for
another 5 or so seconds (and mmmm a bit). This is the
extrahug.
This is a great tactic that subcoms a whole nother level of
affection than a friendly hug. If you as a man aren't in tune
with female emotions you'll miss this (you should comply by
tightening your own hug, unless of course you never want to
see her again).
Likewise, at the end of a date you can initiate the extrahug.
Careful to calibrate well or it can be seen as needy. If she
complies she will reciprocate by giving you the extrahug, and if
not compliant will just hug or try to release or pity pat you (all
IOD's). So again, make sure you have solid rapport at or after
C2 to try it.
Trust Test (TD)
While speaking to her about anything else, run this compliance test. Place
your hands out palm up. If she puts her hands out palm up, it is a form of
compliance but an IOD, compared to if she places them palm down in your
hands. Next, squeeze a little to see if she will squeeze. Step back a little
and see if she steps towards you. Lower your open hands and see if she
lowers her hands. Move her hands in circles in the air or back and forth like
a choo-choo train and see if she’ll move with you. IOD by throwing her
hands away either at the end or if there is lack of compliance at any step.
Tension test (TD)
This can follow the Trust Test. Rub her shoulder and look like you’ve
discovered something interesting about her muscle. Say ‘that’s interesting,
come her for a second’ and put both her arms on your shoulders. Reach
down to her back and pull her in while glancing away from her. Start
massaging up her back as if looking for something you just discovered in
her shoulder. Roll off and talk to someone else in the set, and give a pity
pat to disqualify.
Anchoring
This is a technique where you can attach an emotion to either an object, or
a touch you give her. For example, if every time you say something funny,
you touch her arm briefly, she will start to associate laughter and the
positive emotions it brings with your touch at that point on her arm. So if in
the convo there is a lull, you can touch that point and start a new thread,
and she will instantly recall those feelings again even though you are
saying nothing funny. It is a form of Pavlovian conditioning. You can also
anchor an emotion to an object (see the Girlfriend Test gambit).
Pulling Her Hair
Other than EPS, you can use any gambit that would create a reason to pull
the back of her hair. While speaking, run your fingers up her nape, lightly
take some hair in your hand and yank her head back slightly. This is a
powerful point on the body for a girl. Before you let go, make her say
'please.'
The Touch Kiss-Off
A girl might touch a guy before ejecting, just to soften the blow of rejection.
Look for it and interpret it as a lost set. You can use a pity pat as a form of
IOD similar to the kiss-off.
Tic Tac First Kiss Routine (Craig)
PUA: Do you want a mint/piece of gum?
HB: Ok.
(Place a Tic Tac or piece of gum in your mouth, but do it in a way that your
fingers enter your mouth seductively. Then place the Tic Tac in her mouth
in a similar sensual manner.)
PUA: So, I admit I am an Indian giver. I'd like my piece of gum back.
(Go for the kiss).
Mystery's Kiss Gambit
PUA: 'Do you want to kiss me?'
Option 1:
HB: No.
PUA: Well, I didn't say you could. It just looked like you had something on
your mind.
Option 2:
HB: I don't know (or) maybe.
PUA: Well...let's find out. (go for kiss)
Option 3:
HB: Yes. (go for kiss).
Trading Kisses (Blue)
Here are a couple ways to escalate to the make-out.
As you're talking to a girl, pull her in, give her a hug, put your hands on her
head, gaze into her eyes and then give her a kiss on each cheek. Tell her
“okay, now you owe me two kisses.” Let her reciprocate. If she puts an
effort into these kisses, plant a kiss on her neck and tell her “now you.” Let
her reciprocate. Go for the make-out.
As you're talking to a girl, tell her she's adorable. Give her a kiss on the
cheek and say “now you owe me one.” If she doesn't put much effort into it,
you say, "You are the worst cheek kisser in the history of cheek kissers!
Again!" If she puts more effort into it, tell her “good” and then plant kisses
on her cheek and neck. Tell her “now you owe me two.” Let her
reciprocate. Go for the make-out.
How to Use High-5s
By Diggidoyo
As an opener and to raise buying temperature:
With an energetic vibe, simply throwing your hand up is
enough to initiate a kino ping with a woman. You can also
throw out a verbal exclamation such as "HIGH FIVE!" before
the slap and "ALRIGHT!" immediately after contact. With
enough attraction you can elongate the kino by holding hands
at the top and/or curling your fingers into hers.
To give respect to a woman for answering a question
right:
HB: What's your nationality?
PUA: Guess.
HB: Umm... German and Spanish?
PUA: Wow! That's right! HIGH FIVE! (high-five)
To make fun of a woman for answering a question wrong
(credit Mehow):
HB: What's your nationality?
PUA: Guess.
HB: Umm... Polish?
PUA: YES!! HIGH FIVE! (high-five and hold hand) You are
totally, totally..... WRONG! (throw her hand away)
The high-fake neg:
The 'high-fake' in essence is a neg that can be used on
anyone. Simply pull your hand away before they make contact.
For girls it's usually best to stick to the high-five, but if you can
get away with it, a high-fake can be used to neg a girl. But as
with all negs, make sure to "throw and go" and immediately
change the subject with a new thread. DO NOT make it
appear like you did a high-fake to get a reaction from her, and
don't give her a chance to "save face" or retaliate.
As a tease:
Most of the time when a girl is not expecting a high five, such
as when used as an opener, her hand will be limp and the
high-five will be more like a high-one. The best way to tease
her is to say some variation of the following (don't recite this
line word for word; just get the point across however way feels
natural):
"Now, if I had to rate that high five, I would give it about a 2.
Come on! Give me a 10!" (throw your hand up again)
This time she'll most likely reel her hand back and really try to
slap your hand red. This is a great opportunity for the highfake neg, but not necessary.
Against AMOGs:
When someone puts their hand up in the air, depending on the
situation, it's almost a social violation to not complete your half
of the high-five. So use this to your advantage. Try to picture
this in your head.
You have an energetic, fun, carefree vibe and you throw your
hand up in the air to give some guy a high-five. The guy has
no choice but to give you a high-five, and in doing so, appears
beta by nature, giving you the alpha, dominant role of the
interaction. If he refuses to high-five, he still appears beta for
being a "party-pooper" or "buzz kill". Win-win for you. Also, by
throwing your hand up first, it gives you the option of
performing a high-fake against him if you feel inclined to.
Countering the AMOG's high-five:
Now the other end of the spectrum. What happens when an
AMOG offers you a high-five. As I said earlier, both accepting
and refusing the high-five result in appearing beta. And to
make matters worse, if he pulls his hand away before you
make contact, he's just successfully tooled you. Here is the
perfect counter. Turn it into a low-five! Instead of bringing your
hand up to meet his, put your hand out right in front of you,
palm up. Doing this doesn't refuse the high-five, it just flips the
roles of the interaction. He must now bring his hand down to
slap yours. It also now gives YOU the opportunity to pull off
the high-fake (or I guess it would be a low-fake). I now do this
EVERYTIME a guy tries to give me a high-five.
Monkey Feet and Back Walks
If a girl is not that heavy and if you're in good shape, you can ask her when
you get to your place for her to walk on your midback to help crack it. Ask
her to grab your muscles with her toes like she has monkey feet. You can
then walk on her back. This is a form of kino that is both intimate and yet
not. Of course, be very cautious with this one, because one or both of you
can get seriously injured (you don't want to pop one of her breast implants
on the first date).
Massages
Once a girl lets you massage her, or if she really digs massaging you, then
chances are in the right setting this is an IOC. Most girls will allow the
upper back to be massaged. Giving a massage during the initial day 1
pickup can lead to rapid escalation; however if the girl requests a massage,
don't immediately jump on the opportunity like a chump...consider trading
the massage for something like her buying you a drink. Escalation will
include the lower back and eventually the butt, and going under her shirt
and closer to the breasts (massaging what are called the lats). If you aren't
too heavy, you can sit yourself on her butt, and this will create some sexual
stimulation for her. Don't forget to keep warm the parts you aren't working
on, and avoid tickling too often as it will eventually redirect the massage
from sex to childlike playfulness. Don't stay on one area too long, nor move
around too fast. Keep movements consistent, somewhat firm and medium
paced, moving on to the next area every 30-60 seconds. Mix it up with
deeper massage in thicker muscles, and light touch in places like the back
of the neck. Tug on the earlobe periodically.
How to become a Master Masseur in 0 Days, 0 Minutes,
and Precisely 0 Seconds
By Dream
I don't know how or when it happened, but at some point I
became good enough at massaging women that they began
commenting on how good the massage was. Over time, it
became more frequent, almost to the point where every girl I
laid my hands on said something.
Hmm, interesting, but why? I was doing everything technically
the same, but now the comments were stacking up. Well
today, I've decided to unleash the insane secrets....
woooOOooooo!! And as the title implies, this takes virtually no
time to implement.
So first, some background.
•
When is a good time for a massage?
Well, anytime really. But, usually at night. They are relaxing,
and high noon usually isn't the perfect time of day to massage
a girl for the first time. Afterall, first time's a charm with
massages. It's like a second level first impression.
•
Can you be more specific with the timing?
Yeah, real specific. When things are set to begin heating up.
Weird analogy, but think of a massage as pre-heating your
oven before you're going to cook something. It's not over when
the beeper sounds, but at that point things can progress
forward (if you did your job, that is).
I've found the best way is to literally (and usually out of
nowhere), tell her it's time for her massage. You say this
playfully, but dominantly and expect her to roll onto her
stomach.
9 out of 10 times all you'll have to do after the massage is roll
onto your stomach and she'll go to work on you, and you can
enjoy a great massage and warm-up for what's next.
OR
Calibrate and continue escalating (depends on how horny you
are, how much tension you want to build, and how receptive
she's been thus far).
•
Are you actually a Masseur?
Ha, no. One of my aunts has been a masseuse for most of her
adult life though. And yeah, she gives the best massages in
the world, hands down (pun intended).
•
Do I need to buy anything?
Um, no. You can if you want, but no dire need. "Things"
(including books, vibrating toys and videos) won't make the
difference in a massage...you will.
So, enough BS, let's get to it....
Part 1- Enjoy, appreciate, and explore her entire body.
This comes from The Way of the Superior Man by David
Deida. It's huge, and not as easy as it sounds.
You have to *actually*
•
•
•
enjoy
appreciate
and explore
Her entire body. Or it doesn't work.
That is - you can't fake this stuff, and it will take time to reach
this point. It's progressive though, so relax and have fun
messing up and getting possibly a little negative feedback.
So what does this mean?
It can mean a lot of different things. For me personally, it
means to almost literally "examine" her entire body. The more
senses you use, the better.
Be curious, almost like a child. Don't ignore anything.
From her back, to her neck, to her ears down her arms, all the
way to her finger tips, and back again. Kiss her where she
won't expect it, smell her hair before you give her ear a quick
nibble, feel her breathe deeply, and let her feel yours.
Pay attention to anything like a mole or birthmark as well. It's
important that you
•
•
•
enjoy
appreciate
and explore
Her entire body.
Re-read that in case you missed it.
This also means you don't get hung up on one particular area.
This does not mean jump around like a nervous middle
schooler on his first date. It means you're not focusing
(physically or mentally) on one particular area too long.
For the record though, a few areas that will usually take their
breath away...
•
•
•
•
•
triceps
sides of breasts (careful with this one. Easy to get
caught up on if you love boobs)
quadriceps
upper hamstrings (right below the ass; use wisely)
neck (somewhat, but not as much as the above 4)
I know some of you are thinking..."quads, really?"
Yep, not even kidding. Largest bone in our bodies has plenty
of muscle to massage. Don't be shy. More importantly, she'll
be pretty surprised when you reach there, and become even
more surprised when she feels the sensation from your hands.
And yes, going for the legs is a great idea. Massaging the feet
will depend on the girl; some are into it, some hate it, some will
just totally not care where you're hands go after a point ;).
Part 2- Be present, and focus on the now.
This part sounds really simple, and is, but that does not make
it easy for most. You have to let go of the mental noise and
mind identification. When you do this 100%, you'll know it, and
so will she (and she'll be loving every minute of it).
Ultimately, it leads back to the previous points:
•
•
•
enjoy
appreciate
and explore
You can not consciously do these if you aren't fully present
then and there. No if's, and's or butts about it.
Being present is your greatest gift to women, and it takes a
massage to a whole new level. It keeps you slow, calm, and
focused on the 3 points, which will really drive her nuts, and
usually turns out great for the both of you.
Another thing she'll sense is that you lose the outcome
dependence of the night. That is, being present and truly
focusing on the massage makes what happens later,
completely irrelevant on a deep level. Sure, you're both
probably getting horny while this is going on, but it doesn't
matter. That's after the fact, and it will usually take care of
itself if you can just let go.
Read up on giving a massage if you're not presently too good with it, and
you can conspicuously place an erotic massage book on your coffee table
and say it was a gift from an ex. If she opens it open and seems eager, this
is an IOC. You may want to have massage oil around, though it can be
messy and is not needed.
A lot of girls like foot massages, but you probably should ask first, since
some don't. In some cases, rubbing a girl's dirty stinky feet can look tryhard and is a DLV. So probably the feet aren't a good place to start.
During the massage you can get more and more intimate, though you may
wish to avoid her genitals unless it's clear she's ready for S1. Going for
petting when she isn't ready can lead to buyers remorse, though at the
moment she is enjoying the feeling.
Your goal will be to start kissing the back of her neck and shoulders, and if
she is receptive (moaning and slow wriggling are good IOCs to look for),
you can try to get her on her back and proceed to S1.
Dual-Induction Massage (Style)
This technique was developed to permit menages
(threesomes). Bring a primary girlfriend and a new woman to
your seduction location and distract them with a benign activity
like watching a movie. Tell the women that you just learned a
new massage technique: when someone feels two hands on
them they can zone out, but when there are four hands the
brain completely freaks out and it opens up a whole new
experience. Have the primary lie down and take her top off,
and you and the new girl massage her back in a similar
fashion. After a while, take your shirt off and allow the two girls
to massage you. Then, have the new girl remove her shirt
while you and your primary massage her back. You and your
primary begin to make out, very low so the new girl feels the
sexual energy, then turn the new girl's head and begin to kiss
her. Then the primary and new girl should begin to kiss, at
which point the game is on.
Butts
Women are attracted to a man's rear end. Specifically, the three areas of a
man's body that women find sexually appealing are the legs, butts and
chest/arms, with butts barely winning out at 40%. This may be because a
strong gluteus implies deeper penetration which may lead to greater odds
of impregnation. In S1 or S2, it may be wise to focus a girl's attention to
your rear.
Slapping a girl's butt is a very dominating alpha move. Besides causing a
sudden sexual rush, it demonstrates your confidence. Girls often don't
mind slapping the butt of a man they just met, and you can bait her to do
this.
Earring Kiss Gambit (Decibel)
Works to get a first kiss if the two of you are sitting on a couch, maybe
watching TV.
You: Hey, do you have ear piercings? (she shows you the ear on your side,
you touch her ear). Hmm...let me see the other ear. (she turns her head
towards you to show her other ear, at which point you kiss her).
J the Ripper's Makeout and Fingerbang Techniques
* Part One: The Makeout
After running game on her, calibrate so that you don't stab too early; if
you've been gaming for any length of time you'll know exactly when to
execute it:
"Well it was awesome talking with you. It's so cool to come to a place like
this and meet someone who's not your average ditsy club chick. You're
really different. I wish we could chill & hang out the whole night. Listen, I
have to go, and we're probably never gonna see each other again.” (act a
little disappointed). “But I want to keep in touch with you. Give me your
number.” (After you the get the number, tell her you'll call her, and give her
a big hug. While in the hug, whisper in her ear, "So are you a good kisser,
or do you just look like one? Lets find out." And just go for it.)
Alternatively use: "You know, we're probably never going to see each other
again...but I have an idea. Hear me out, it's nothing perverted or nasty...Do
you like secrets? Here's what I want you to do. Walk down to that end and
turn the corner so your friends can't see, and I'll follow close 20 seconds
after. We'll kiss once, then you go back to your friends, I'll go back to mine
and then like I said, we'll probably never see each other again. It'll be our
cool little moment, our little secret."
* Part Two: The Fingerbang
After you take her to the dance floor, run heavy attraction material (check
out my past FR/LR's for examples), then transition to selling the fuck out of
"Tourist Mentality" using my oldie line:
"You know, we're probably never going to see each other again...”
The idea behind tourist mentality is that you convey the fact tonight may be
the last time you see each other, and that whatever happens this night
doesn't "actually count". This makes her more willing/accepting that she
can exhibit "bad girl" actions and yet not be held accountable for it. Once
you're making out, put one hand snug behind her waist, and the other
behind the neck where the hair ends, and do an evolution phase shift hair
pull.
If she's receptive up to this point, test the waters by placing your hand
gently between her thighs, and tease your fingers almost coming close to
her ******, but not quite. If she lets you do that with no hesitation, take baby
steps with your hands until you can reach up and under. Once your hand is
inside the elastic trim, begin to kiss her harder, and tug hair slightly firmer
but not too hard, and act quick with your middle finger, sticking it in (your
index and ring finger used to separate the lips and help guide the way).
Once your finger is in, I like to kiss her neck. At this point, drop your hand
from her hair to her waist, but keep kissing. The kissing is pretty much a
distractor from your hands.
Birthday Kiss (Decibel)
'Hey, do you think your boyfriend would mind if you gave me a birthday
kiss?'
This can be used early in attraction if her BT is up, you've got kino
compliance and think you might be able to pull off a kiss. For example, a
girl passes you on her way to the bathroom and she seems friendly, drunk
and willing to comply. It doesn't need to be your birthday, nor does her BF
need to be present; it simply presupposes she has a BF somewhere in the
world. It also assumes she is willing to kiss you, as opposed to 'hey, it's my
birthday, how about a kiss?'
Palmistry
This is a great way to introduce more seductive kino, and is discussed in
the Chick Crack chapter.
Verbal Kino (Decibel)
A woman can be sexually stimulated by the words you use,
and avoiding sexual topics during day 1 is a common AFC
mistake. Mystery has warned that talking about sex can project
neediness, so this tactic should only be done once your
delivery is confident and non-needy. Physical kino may not
fully arouse her if the 'verbal kino' as I call it isn't there.
Whenever a window opens to lead the convo gently in the
direction of sex, you should consider leading it there. Even if a
topic seems asexual, there are ways to bait the target so she
will begin a sexual convo, many times a very explicit one. Talk
non-chalantly about fuck buddies, different sexual techniques
you're knowledgeable about or interested in exploring, and
demonstrate you are totally non-judgmental about sexual
adventures and practices. You must bring her ASD down
because women are typically afraid of being considered sluts.
Do research. Read 'girly' magazine like Cosmo and Vogue to
understand their content and lingo. Go to sites that sell
vibrators and other sex toys, read reviews of the products, be
able to discuss these things with authority even though you
may have personally never used these items. You may be
surprised just how willing most women are to talk about sex in
graphic detail, once you show you are accepting of and
unphased by anything they throw your way.
Will You Feed Me? (Style)
If you want to bounce from a venue to a girl's house, tell her 'I can come
home with you...but do you promise to feed me?' This provides a subtext
for going home with her to lower her ASD. When she starts listing items in
her fridge she can feed you, you're in. Pick something from the list, and
then bounce to her place for a late-night snack, followed by escalation.
Fuck Invitations (FIs) (Decibel)
At times, you will meet a woman who is out in the club clearly
looking to get laid. As you game her, she quickly complies,
gives reverse kino, reopens you later and makes sexually
suggestive comments directed at you. In certain cases, these
are shit tests and should be handled with care so as to not
appear needy or overly compliant. But often, these invitations
to fuck are genuine, and over-gaming her can kill the invitation.
Often, the recipient of the FI is a Nice Guy. Being the Nice Guy
doesn't get you laid. The Nice Guy will miss FIs, or may hear
them not know how to act on them. Don't suffer from Nice Guy
Syndrome. Step up and be a man.
FIs are counter-intuitive to social conditioning; a girl asking a
man for sex can be seen as slutty, while in fact it may just
indicate she's got high self-esteem and goes for what she
wants.
Nice Guys will think she's just playing around and will miss the
actual invitation she's giving him. Nice Guys will joke or totally
disregard the FI. After all, it seems too good to be true, right?
And so, an easy lay is lost.
Dial up your FI detector when out in field. And if there's mutual
attraction, do act on the FIs. Be direct. Even if you've been coy
and indirect to that point, it's ok to shift gears and telegraph
your sexual intent. You can caveman or say 'You and I need to
get out of here...right now.' It's clear by this you don't mean
'let's go to Denny's for pancakes,' but it also isn't smarmy or
needy. It's perceived as dominant, which is what she's looking
for. If she declines, then she's either not horny enough and
needs more work, or else she's all talk and just looking for
validation. Women who are truly giving you FIs help work the
logistics to pull and reasonably comply with escalation.
And don't overgame this one. If she hands you her puss on a
silver platter...eat up.
The Whisper
After you've gotten attraction, lean in to speak softly into the girl's ear about
something. Test her compliance to see if she'll also speak into your ear or
reciprocate. You can carry out an entire conversation in this fashion, which
is intimate and creates a bubble around you and her. The whisper brings
you a step closer to the make-out.
Sexualization (Decibel)
You can run textbook game, and even have reasonably good kino
compliance, but to get her sexually intrigued you must sexualize the
conversation. This is a critical skill for SNLs and helpful for getting women
responsive for day 2s. In sexualizing the convo, you are not necessarily
talking about sex, but baiting her to open up about it. However, if there is a
window to sexualize by directly stating your sexual intent, sexualization
permits you to do this as well.
It is recommended you and your wings do the following exercise, called
sexualizing the conversation. Your wing makes a non-sexual comment or
asks a question and your response sexualizes it.
Example, a girl asks: Do you like dogs?
You say: Yes, I have a dog. They’re good for snuggling, but women are
better. Once I woke up and something was licking my foot. I thought it was
my dog but it turned out it was my girlfriend.
Example, a girl shows you her tattoo.
You say: Cool. Do you have any piercings too? I dated one girl with a
nipple piercing, which was fun. But one of my girlfriends had a piercing
'down there.' Now THAT was interesting. Do you have a clit piercing?
Example, a girl brings up reading.
You say: I’m half-way through My Secret Garden. It’s about all the sexual
fantasies women have. I’m sure you know, women are way more sexual
than men, but our society forces them to repress their drives.
The points you want to hit are:
►
Preselection. You have a lot of chicks in your life.
►
Impulsiveness. Sometimes it’s best to let your emotions guide you.
►
Being non-judgmental. You love sex, and love women who love sex.
►
Adventurous/experimental
►
Passionate
►
Sexually experienced. You know much more than the average dude
how to please a woman.
►
Giving is better than receiving. If you satisfy a woman as your main
goal, she will naturally try harder to satisfy you.
►
Honesty. If it’s sex you want, be direct and own it. No games
allowed.
►
Unattached/NSA sex is perfectly fine. There are no expectations for
commitment here.
►
Being discrete
►
Being decisive: knowing what she wants and going for it
►
Some aspect about her is sexy, calibrating if needed ('Your English
accent is sexy. Not as sexy as Australian, but sexy.')
Each of the above are little bricks that come together to build the house of
Sexuality. Women love to talk about sex; many times once they start
talking about it, it's like a runaway train and you may spend the rest of the
encounter discussing it. They may say they aren’t into your polygamous
lifestyle, or will appear disinterested, but it’s a shit test. They’ve been so
conditioned by society to appear proper, but given the chance (with an
experienced, non-judgmental man) they’ll open way up. The key is for her
to be doing most of the explicit talking and for her to be getting more
excited than you are; the subcom is sex is no big deal for you. Using
charged words like 'passionate' and 'deep, deep connection' can help get
girls to start chasing you.
Watch Decibel explain Sexualization.
The Tickle
Anytime during your interaction with a girl, ask her if she's ticklish, then
start to tickle her. This is easy to employ while you give a shoulder/back
rub. Likewise, start tickling without giving her any warning. Tickling a girl
causes her to feel like a kid again, and may result in a large BT spike while
you escalate. She may comply by telling you where on her body she's
ticklish, or start reverse kino by trying to tickle you.
Kissing
Many call kissing a 'kiss close' or 'k-close' but more accurately, kissing is
not a close so much as just another step in kino escalation leading to sex.
The actual kiss is a learned art, but where many guys have more trouble is
calibrating when to initiate the kiss during the set, when to cut it off and
how to interpret it relative to the rest of the interaction. Many girls will make
out with several men in a club in a single night, and it may mean absolutely
nothing as far as her willingness to sleep with them or even respond to
their phone calls; girls many not even remember the guys an hour later.
A debate exists in the community regarding whether make-outs can harm
your chance for a day 2 because they trigger buyer's remorse. While some
argue it's not good game, others will say you should go for the kiss
whenever the opportunity presents itself, particularly if your goal is the
SNL.
Often, trigger anxiety – fear of 'pulling the trigger' – will stop guys from
going for the make-out when the invitations are there. As with AA, you will
need to keep pushing past TA to demonstrate to yourself that escalating is
acceptable, and no harm will come from rejection. Just act unaffected
emotionally and try again later.
There are numerous kiss gambits (see above), though just being assertive
will frequently suffice.
Kissing
By Rob Judge
I think most guys who don't go for the make-out because
they're 'stoking the sexual tension' are really just rationalizing
their anxiety about getting physical. They don't want to risk
losing the bask of female validation they're enjoying by just
being "fun guy". I know this so well because I used to be this
guy. I realize now that if you don't escalate out of fear, you're
going to lose the girl. Period. Conversely, if you do escalate
EVEN if you're rejected, the girl is still going to get much more
attracted and eventually you WILL get the escalation. Kissing
is usually the Rubicon of escalating, and I've developed some
"strategies" to make it as seamless as possible:
1) I usually just bring up kissing...usually some variation of the
elastic-snap band effect, i.e. "Okay, you can do x, y, z but I
don't know about you...you have a nice-girl face...I like nice
girls...but they do end up in the friend zone...they can't kiss for
shit...kissing is key for me, if you can't kiss then pack your
bags...it's the friend zone for you..." or some nonsense like
that.
2) Kissing on the dance floor.
3) Randomly saying, "Woah woah woah" and go for the
makeout. It's sort of random and funny. I usually don't get the
make-out but the girls go nuts and you get it next time.
4) Simply slow down your talking, start stroking her hair and
gazing into her eyes.
5) Or, the easiest and most consistent way: JUST GO FOR IT.
Literally, when she's midsentence, pull her into you, smile,
then kiss. If she doesn't go for it, but doesn't leave, that means
she wants you. Try again in 2 minutes. If a girl EVER calls me
out on this, I go into a Jeffy-esque soliloquy like "Oh, I'm
sorry!!! You obviously don't understand what's going on here.
I'm obviously not sitting here and talking to you because you're
hot and you turn me on. I'm obviously just sitting here talking to
you like I do when I take my grandma to McDonald's. Here,
let's get you a Jazzy to sit in and make it official. SERIOUSLY
though, don't expect me to "BEHAVE" myself and pretend I'm
not into you like every other chode you meet. You like me, I
like you. You don't have to kiss me, but it won't mean I'm not
going to try...oh look! There I go trying again..." (go for make
out). Girls LOVE this shit. Please just try it. You can thank me
later.
6) The Blockbuster Preview k-close. Here's how this goes
down. As the girl is talking, you kiss her mid-sentence. The
kiss is simply a hummingbird-quick peck on the lips. The only
requirements is you hit her lips and kiss her fast enough so
she doesn't have time to turn her head. She'll probably say
something like, "That was unexpected!" or "Where did that
come from?". Irrelevant. Here's the key though: you DON'T
even acknowledge the kiss. You immediately stack into some
bullshit story. So it goes: you kiss, she's shocked, you say, "So
blah blah blah." Say whatevs. Just remain nonreactive. Almost
make her question IF IT EVEN HAPPENED. She'll be
confused, excited, a little angry. Whatevs. Tons of emotions.
You down-shift into a chodersation for 2 minutes, then you do
some cherish-like escalating (i.e. hand caressing, hair
stroking) and then go for the Blockbuster makeout tongue
down boner-inducing lovefest. It's SO ON with this little move
because it sparks so many emotions.
Vin diCarlo Sexual Escalation Ladder
The following is a well-known series of steps to help escalate.
1. Eye Contact and Initial Conversation
2. Incidental Class 1
The first class of incidental kino involves the arms and hands. Shaking
hands, tapping people on the shoulder and brushing arms are all very
common things that we do on a daily basis. Done in an incidental manner,
i.e. occurring merely by chance or without intention or calculation, it is
extremely effective at building initial comfort.
Examples:
* Hand shaking
* Arm brushing
* Light touching on her arm to emphasize your points
* Anchoring her arm near elbow to hold her close as you talk
* Standing next to her with your arm touching hers
* High Fives
* Palm Reading
3. Overt Class 1
There is an unmistakable recurring pattern throughout the DEL: incidental
kino, followed by overt kino. Overt means open to view or knowledge; not
concealed or secret. While incidental kino is usually done in a context
which masks your intention, overt kino is not. The incidental kino which
precedes it creates the familiarity necessary for the overt kino to be
accepted.
Examples:
* Holding hands
* Arm in arm escorting
4. Incidental Class 2
Class 2 kino involves any contact which takes place on her torso or legs.
This is slightly more intimate than class 1, but does not include erogenous
zones such as her breasts, crotch or inner thighs.
Examples:
* Standing very close with your legs touching hers
* Sitting close together with your legs touching hers
* Lightly and incidentally brushing her abdomen with your
hands while talking
* Briefly touching her back with your palm while speaking as if
you are pulling her in to hear you better
5. Overt Class 2
Overt class 2 kino is usually done while sitting down. It’s not necessary, but
definitely a smart place to make the transition to sitting down. This class of
kino should be done in a protective, almost romantic manner.
Examples:
* Frontal Hugging (done best as a positive reaction to her
compliance)
* Escorting her through the bar with your hand on her lower
back
* Sitting next to her and placing her leg over yours
* Holding her abdomen on the side while sitting down and
talking
* Placing her hand on your thigh
6. Incidental Class 3
Her hair, face and neck are the regions included in class 3. Many guys
make the common mistake of touching these areas too soon, with a girl
they first met. Girls are surprisingly protective of their hair, face and neck
placing these relatively high on the ladder. Another common mistake is that
more experienced guys will generally skip this step altogether, only to face
last minute resistance later on.
Examples:
* Brushing (or pretending to brush) something off of her face
* Talking very closely with your face touching hers because
the environment is extremely loud
* Touching an interesting necklace she’s wearing, meanwhile
allowing your fingers to lightly caress her neck
* Playfully pinching her cheeks
7. Overt Class 3
The manner in which kino is delivered in overt class 3, is very direct. It is
meant to prepare her for kissing, and is done in a very slow, gentle and
romantic way. Most of the time you should be sitting down, relaxed and
maintaining a good sexual state and strong eye contact.
Examples:
* Placing her head to rest on your shoulder
* Moving your face into her neck and smelling her
* Lightly stroking her face with your finger, close in, looking
into her eyes
* Running your fingers through her hair, close in, looking into
her eyes
* Holding her behind the neck with your palm to the side of her
neck, looking into her eyes
Escalation Ramp
While the above steps from 1-7 may take anywhere from 30 minutes to 10
hours, the escalation ramp is very rapid. The duration of the ramp should
be about 10 - 30 minutes. Start the ramp very quickly once you have
complete isolation in a sex location.
8. Kissing
Start kissing from a very close proximity. Don’t come diving in lips first from
three feet away. Ideally you should already be in a suitable position for
kissing before you try. If you have overt class 3 kino taken care of, you’re
probably in the right spot.
A technique for building sexual tension - move closely in, slowly as if you
might kiss her, and then move away and start talking about something else.
This will build the tension and she will wonder when you’re going to actually
kiss her. A technique to initiate kissing: try placing your finger just
underneath her chin and pulling her mouth towards yours.
Kissing should be light and short at first. You should be the one to pull
away first. Don’t use too much tongue at first, just use it to tease her, and
build anticipation.
9. Kissing Her Neck
Once you have kissed her for a bit, move down to her neck. Kiss it gently,
while holding her close to you. Depending on how rough you want to set
the mood, feel free to throw in some gentle biting too.
10. Touching the Bare Skin of Her Back
Once you have established kissing both on her mouth and neck, move your
hands to her waist and underneath her shirt. Continue to hold her close to
you, now with your hands directly on her back.
11. Stomach to Stomach
Now that you have established touching her skin, below her shirt, simply
move your hand to the front, and lift her shirt, exposing only her stomach.
At the same time lift your shirt as well so that your abdomen is in direct
contact with hers.
It seems innocent, but will meanwhile trigger intense sexual feelings inside
of her. The only time she feels contact like that is usually when she’s naked
and having sex.
12. Kissing her Body
Having her shirt pulled up affords the opportunity of moving downwards to
kiss and caress the bare flesh of her abdomen. Start kissing her there,
along the sides, and move upwards.
Touching and kissing the breasts is optional. It is not necessary, and in
some cases can be detrimental to your progress. There are some women
who have a negative anchor to their breasts. Inch toward their breasts and
feel her reaction. If she becomes increasingly turned on, then go for it. If
she starts to close down, skip the breasts until you are already having sex.
13. Incidentally Stimulate Vagina
While you are kissing her body, you can position yourself between her legs
and use your midsection to rub against her vagina. If you are kissing her
mouth you can position your thigh to stimulate her vagina.
You can also be kissing her body and reach between her legs and plant
your hand on the bed below her. Then use your forearm to stimulate her
vagina. The key here is that because you aren’t using your hand or fingers,
she has no basis for objection.
14. Direct Vaginal Stimulation from Behind (Inside Panties)
Once you have really amped her up by incidentally rubbing her vagina,
move your hand around to the back and slip it inside her panties and touch
her naked ass.
Next, move your hand all the way down and reach her vagina. Start first by
touching the area around it. Then proceed to finger her from behind.
Women never expect to have it happen this way. Trying to reach your hand
down the front of her pants will often be resisted, but from the rear is
unexpected and effective.
If she is wearing a skirt or dress, you will instead move your hand up the
back of her leg, and reach her vagina that way. Finger her and then
proceed directly to step 16.
15. Direct Vaginal Stimulation in Front
Get her heated up by fingering her, and then when once she is sufficiently
turned on, undo the front of her pants with your other hand.
You can use the situationally relevant phrase “My hand is being crushed”
as you do it, although it’s usually not necessary. Since she is engaged by
the fact that you are fingering her, she will rarely object to your
simultaneous undoing of her pants. You may also have her undo her pants,
by saying “Unbutton your pants.” as you are fingering her.
Moving to the front, you’ll be able to get more penetration with your fingers,
and get her to the point where she is practically begging for sex. Use a firm
“come-hither” motion pulling forward on the front vaginal wall and
stimulating her g-spot.
16. Remove Her Pants, Sex
The idea is to get her so heated up by fingering her, that she makes a
commitment to sex, verbally or physically.
There are a few ways to go about this. Firstly, it is very important that you
don’t stop fingering her before her pants are off. Too many times a guy will
stop fingering her, and then try to take off her pants, only to get more
resistance.
While fingering her you can say “Do you want me inside you?” Which will
usually get a “Yes.” response. At that point you say “Ok, take off your
pants” and continue to finger her until her panties are off, and she’s ready
to go.
Another option is to skip the question and directly tell her to take off her
pants. Usually with your fingers busy at work, she will be more than
compliant.
Another technique is to ask her “Do you want me to get a condom?” In 90%
of all girls you ask this, they will say “Yes.” Not because they are saying
they want sex, but because they want to appear safe and level headed.
You will interpret this as the permission to get a condom and have sex with
her, and it will most likely be met without opposition.
Additional Points:
1. Higher Levels Unlock Access to Lower Levels
The rungs of the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder may be treated exactly the
same as compliance levels. The point is, any time you reach a higher level
through situational relevance, it unlocks the lower levels automatically.
A good example of this is in a loud club or bar, you can reach in and talk
directly into her ear, getting incidental class 3 kino, touching the side of
your face to hers. You are speaking to her in a way that is dictated by the
situation, so it is accepted. If you accomplish this without her resistance, all
lower levels will become unlocked.
2. Execution of the Escalation Ramp
The escalation ramp, which consists of steps 8-16 is most effectively
executed in isolation in a sex location. It is not efficient to start the ramp
with the intention of finishing it at a later time. Starting the ramp without
finishing it will lead to an increase in flaking and decrease a woman’s
attraction toward you.
This is because these sexual behaviors were formed thousands of years
ago when we were still living in caves. The natural instinctual urges,
combined with a lack of knowledge of modern-day sexual consequences
meant that escalation with a woman would 100% of the time lead to sex.
By executing the ladder correctly, you are matching her genetic sexual
programming and giving it to her the exact way that she wants it.
It is acceptable to do the first part of the ramp - kissing - outside of a
suitable sex location, but only if you plan on completing the ramp later in
that same meeting. It’s not to say that kissing a girl on a non-sex meet will
destroy your chances, but it certainly won’t improve them. Kiss-closes may
look impressive and feed your ego, but aren’t technically optimum.
3. Incidental Vs. Overt Kino
There is always a question as to how to execute these different pieces of
kino. In general, you should spend most of your time in the incidental
phase, getting her comfortable with contact in those regions.
This pattern of incidental followed by overt is almost like a Jedi mind trick.
Use the incidental kino in a very non-invasive, very much under the radar
manner, and her subconscious will automatically accept the subsequent
overt kino.
Since she accepts the overt kino, it is through a process of backwards
rationalization that her attraction for you increases. The key is to make the
overt kino extremely short. Each overt phase in the initial ladder should
have a duration of 5-10 seconds. You’re not going to be holding her hand
in the club for 5 minutes at a time while in class 1. Keep it short and sweet.
4. Group Ladder Theory
There is quite a bit of evidence supporting the idea of a “group ladder”
concept. Within a tightly knit group of girls who share a “collective
emotional state” with each other, it is possible that whatever step on the
ladder you achieve with one girl can transfer over very easily to the other
girls in the group.
In a sense, each group of girls has a ladder, which represents your
escalation with that group. If you can comfortably touch and hold a girl at a
certain point in the ladder, it creates an implicit trust of “this guy is cool” for
the other girls in the group at that same level. Keep in mind, however, this
does not include the escalation ramp, although it has been observed to
happen with kissing quite readily.
Chapter Eleven
Sex and the Female Orgasm
There is not a lot of information in the PUA literature about how to pleasure
women sexually. In fact, for every mention of sexual technique, you
probably could find 100 ways to open a set.
Most men have no competence at how to bring a woman to orgasm, other
than through vaginal intercourse. While women often complain that their
man does not fulfill her sexually, she may not discuss this with him
because she fears hurting his ego. And so, there likely are many men who
think they are better performers than they truly are.
Typically, a man will have a preference hierarchy in mind: sex is better than
oral sex, which is better than a hand job. So the man may assume women
will have similar goals. But for many women, this is not the case. Most
women have never been brought to orgasm through sex, but have had
clitoral orgasms. Some women can have very intense orgasms through
manual stimulation of the deep spot. There is also much mental and
emotional stimulation needed in arousing a woman, which men may not
require for their own orgasms.
"We know less about the sexual life of little girls than of boys.
But we need not feel ashamed of this distinction; after all, the
sexual life of adult women is a 'dark continent' for psychology."
Sigmund Freud
And so, a thorough working knowledge of sexual techniques and an
appreciation of female psychology can be of great advantage to the PUA.
STD's and Pregnancy
With the power of seduction comes responsibility. It is irresponsible for any
PUA to enter the field without bringing condoms; it is like going to a
shooting range without your gun. Never enter a woman you just met
without first putting on a condom. Condoms are fragile, so make sure it has
not expired or been sitting in your wallet or car too long. You do not want to
pull out to find a broken rubber. When used correctly, condoms are very
successful in preventing unwanted pregnancy. Likewise, among forms of
birth control, only condoms can help prevent the spread of sexually
transmitted diseases. It is good practice to take universal precautions,
assuming any partner you meet could be infected with any sexually
transmitted disease (STD), and that you may contract something from her.
Though it isn't sexually transmitted, female bladder infections are common
following sex. Women know this, so don't be surprised if she jumps up and
runs to the bathroom to pee right after sex; this is a helpful way of reducing
her risk of infection.
You can get more information from the National STD Hotline at
800-227-8922 and at their site, or at the CDC website.
Condoms and Lubricants
There are many variations of condoms, including those that are flavored,
different sizes, those for greater sensitivity and ones marketed to enhance
the experience such as ribbed. You may want to experiment with various
kinds to figure out which gives you the best sensation.
Latex is the standard material used. Natural (lamb skin) condoms are not
reliable in preventing STDs. Reality is a female condom, and can result in a
better ride for the man versus a standard condom. For those who are
embarrassed to purchase condoms in a store, you can easily order them
online, often in bulk. Crown is a good example of an inexpensive but muchadmired condom to have around. Condoms made of polyurethane are
alternatives for those with latex allergy.
Nonoxynol-9 is a spermicide frequently added to condoms. It can be
irritating to the vagina, and does cause numbness of the mouth if contact is
made. It is an added level of protection, but not a substitute for condom
use.
Sometimes condoms break. This can happen if left in your car or wallet too
long, if you tear it while opening the wrapper with your teeth or when using
it with an oil-based lubricant. Or sometimes the condom slips off into the
vagina after you ejaculate or if too much lubricant is used inside.
Emergency contraception can be purchased. Plan B is a large dose of
female hormone she can take in the first 72 hours after sex, and is
available over-the-counter (without a prescription) at pharmacies. RU-486
is another form of birth control, but requires a prescription. These should
not be relied upon as first-line options of contraception.
As for lubricants, many men may not bring up the subject because it seems
to imply she is not adequately stimulated. Do not hesitate however to use
lubricants if needed, both for manual stimulation and intercourse. The two
main categories include oil-based and water-based. Water-based lubes are
easier to clean off you, your partner and your sheets; oil-based lubes can
lead to condom breakage, so use water-based lubes when using condoms.
Clear lubes won't stain sheets. Flavored or warming lubes can also be
experimented with. There are many makers out there, including Sensura
(for her)/Sex Grease (for him), Astroglide, and K-Y. Silicone-based
lubricants have also come onto the market.
Getting Pleasured
Since women don't initially know what you like in bed, or may be too shy to
ask, it can be helpful to show them. To assist with this, a great reference is
Lou Paget's How to Be a Great Lover. The book graphically details various
techniques used by women to give manual and oral pleasure, as well as
sexual techniques. Put it on your coffee table and casually thumb through it
when she asks you about it.
When it comes to women going down on you, some women love it, some
are indifferent and some are not at all willing participants. One key
difference is those who enjoy it like being in charge, and have desensitized
their gag reflexes. A turn-off for women is when you thrust yourself in and
out of her mouth the first time, making her gag. You can indicate your
desire for oral sex by guiding her mouth to your crotch, roughly or gently
depending on the type of interaction, and letting her get to work. This is one
time when it may be best to allow her dominate the escalation. Few women
enjoy swallowing, so do not express disappointment or seem rejected if
she spits. Lastly, fellatio is an art-form that many women have not
mastered, so maintain low expectations, and if it doesn't feel good then
move onto another position for now, but make sure she feels you're
grateful for her efforts.
Sexual Calibration
For a man to excel at sex, he should be creative, have stamina, know his
way around the female body, introduce new and exciting methods, and be
open to her fantasies and desires.
In addition, it is important to be sexually calibrated.
For example, if a girl you're banging moans, 'I love being your little slut,' a
well-calibrated response may be, 'Yeah? You like when I fuck you, you dirty
little slut?' A miscalibrated response would be to stop fucking and say in a
serious tone, 'No, baby, you're not a slut.'
From a performance standpoint, you can be in synch or out of synch with
her. See Cathal's post below on oral sex, and how to listen to her body for
cues. Another example: if she's obviously about to have an orgasm, and
you pull out and try to get a BJ, that would be sexual miscalibration. These
things leave a wake of frustrated women.
You never want a good feeling to lose its impact, or for an area to become
numb because you've overworked it. Except for the moments leading up to
orgasm where consistency is better, it is a good idea to be on the move
during foreplay and sex. Keep in mind that besides the vagina and clit,
women frequently find the neck, ears and breasts erogenous. Being wellcalibrated means knowing when those regions require attention, and when
they may be at risk for over-stimulation.
Sub/Dom Behavior
David Deida estimates that 80% of male-female sexual relationships
consist of the man being dominant and the woman being submissive. If this
is the case with your current relationship, you should take advantage of this
to liven up sex.
Dominant behavior includes commanding your girl to behave as you
please. It includes 'disciplining' her such as spanking her, restraining her or
fucking her hard. It also may involve dirty talk such as calling her your dirty
slut. These are things you can get away with at the height of sexual
arousal, which may not work outside the bedroom. However, in a sub-dom
relationship such as this, this behavior further stimulates her sexually.
It can be difficult for a submissive man to become dominant. But if he is
with a submissive woman, he should find that dominant drive within him
and use it to please her.
“Most women are sexually submissive creatures. They
respond to a dominant man. Be comfortable in that role. Here's
a good example. If she is wearing a T-shirt or a sweatshirt, pull
the shirt over her head, but keep it on her arms. This lightly
restrains her arms. It's called 'The Hockey shirt trick.'”
David Shade
An Introduction to the Female Orgasm
Female orgasm has been a big black box (pardon the term) for much of
time. Since almost all researchers have been men, the subject has been
misunderstood, which has lead to widespread acceptance of false
premises.
Freud began way back, speculating that clitoral orgasms were immature
and they should be discouraged in favor of vaginal orgasms. He saw the
clit as a vestigial penis, and the only reason girls played with it was
because it's easier to find. This concept lasted for decades, and gave many
women a complex about not being able to reach vaginal orgasm.
Then with the works of Kinsey, and Masters and Johnson, we got a better
understanding into sexual practices. Even still, when the G spot was
stimulated in subjects using a Q-tip and no orgasm occurred, the
conclusion was the G spot was not a point capable of creating orgasms.
The truth was, firmer pressure is needed than a Q-tip.
Finally, the book The G Spot set people straight. But even now, both men
and women remain clueless about vaginal orgasm and squirting.
The work by Masters and Johnson first demonstrated how women reach
orgasm, and the stages include excitement, plateau, orgasm and
resolution. For most men, the plateau may be brief, but in women this
phase can be very prolonged. The average man takes 2-5 minutes to reach
orgasm, while for clitoral orgasm, on average 20 minutes are required. This
is why in Japanese slang, male masturbation is called senzuri (meaning
1000 rubs), and female masturbation is called manzuri (10,000 rubs).
Furthermore, men in general have a long refractory period between
orgasms; once their erectile tissue softens, it may be a while before it can
refill with blood. But in women, this refractory period can be brief, and many
women are capable of multiple orgasms.
Men are wired simply as far as how to induce an orgasm. But women have
various types of orgasms. In the book The G Spot by Ladas et al, three
categories of female orgasms are described: vulval, uterine and blended.
The vulval (clitoral) orgasm. Focus of muscle response is in the
pubococcygeal (PC) muscle group, triggered by clitoral stimulation. The
orgasm is felt in the surface genitals. The major nerve is the pudendal
nerve. The vagina constricts, as described by Masters and Johnson, called
tenting. The uterus lifts up into the pelvis.
The uterine (vaginal) orgasm. Focus of muscle response is in the uterus,
triggered by G spot stimulation. The orgasm is felt deep. Major nerves are
the pelvic and hypogastric plexus. The vagina doesn't tent, but instead
relaxes and the entrance opens. The uterus pushes down and the
penis/fingers can be pushed out of the vagina. Masters and Johnson did
not stimulate the G spot sufficiently to observe this phenomenon.
Ejaculation can occur.
Further, research suggests that different orgasms can be created
depending on whether the tip (PC) or the shaft/base (uterine) of the clit is
stimulated. High frequency vibrations tend to get the tip while slow manual
stimulation gets the base. Intercourse will simulate the shaft.
The blended orgasms occurs with intercourse or manual stimulation of the
G spot, sometimes resulting in ejaculation. Most orgasms are neither
purely vulval or uterine, but are blended, occurring along a continuum
between the two extremes.
Many couples aspire to having simultaneous orgasms. For this to work, the
man should wait until her orgasm begins, and then he himself can let go. It
is good etiquette for a man to try to hold out until she has reached vaginal
orgasm during sex, though most women are not yet capable of this and so
this should not become a source of disappointment or stress.
“Getting her to that place of no return is 95 percent determination
and dedication and 5 percent talent. The talent portion is very
straightforward and simply requires that you know the topography
of the area and your partner's likes and dislikes.”
Lou Paget
Women Who Fake
Men hope to give their women orgasms. One simple reason is they care
about their partner. On an evolutionary level, a man wants a woman to
have an orgasm because when she does, her cervix dips down into the
semen, helping to ensure conception.
However, if a man makes it clear he is trying to give his woman an orgasm,
then this may create performance anxiety in the woman. This can distract
her from having an orgasm, and possibly lead to faking of her orgasm as a
way to reward him for his efforts.
If a man is taking longer than she'd like, whether with oral or vaginal sex,
she may fake the orgasm rather than say 'honey, can you finish up, I need
to get to sleep?'
There is no reliable way for a man to know if his partner has had an
orgasm. And because of the potential of hurting his ego by telling him she
fakes her orgasms, this cycle can persist for a long time.
As a man, you should have an open line of communication with her. Listen
to her verbal and non-verbal cues when she tells you what works and what
doesn't. Never let her know you have an agenda to give her an orgasm;
instead, make it seem like it just happened. Realize that many woman,
unlike men, are satisfied having intercourse that doesn't end with her
having an orgasm. Don't insist on trying to make her come if she tells you
it's not happening. Be patient and never rush to the finish; it may take
20-40 minutes of foreplay to put her in the state for an intercourse orgasm.
Don't ask afterwards if she had an orgasm, though it is a good idea once in
a relationship to find out what you might do differently if you have any
doubt. Never fake your own orgasm. Never accuse her of faking. If a
woman admits she faked, thank her for her honesty and never become
angry by her confession.
The Clit
Located above the urethra (the hole women pee from), the clitoris appears
to be simply a button. In fact, there is much more to the structure than what
appears above the skin. It has been discovered that about ¼ of college-age
men and women cannot find the clit on a diagram of a woman's vagina.
The clitoris is the equivalent of the penis. They both have the corpus
cavernosum which congests and swells during excitement, and a glans at
the tip which is highly sensitive. The male glans becomes hypersensitive
after orgasm. For women, they may also become hypersensitive and
require a cooling-off period before it can be stimulated again. But in
addition, many women are hypersensitive even before orgasm. For these
girls, it may be best to stimulate the clit indirectly, by working around it or
by wrapping it inside the labia (the other lips of the vagina).
The clit when stimulated likes to be wet. This can be accomplished by
saliva (yours or hers), lubricant or by 'dipping into the honeypot' (wetting
your finger in her vagina).
To each side and above the urethral is the U-spot, where clitoral tissue lies.
Some women find the urethra and surrounding areas very stimulating.
A good way of knowing what kind of clitoral stimulation she desires, you
can observe your partner masturbate. Notice what motions she uses, how
much pressure she applies, whether she is direct or indirect in touching the
clit, and how often she rewets. Always err on the side of being gentle, and
learn if she prefers a bit more pressure, speed or directness.
Cunnilingus
Cunnilingus is the ancient art of going down on a woman. Be aware that
some women prefer you don't eat them out. This may be due to the fact
that cunnilingus in the past has been stigmatized. Women have also been
conditioned to think that the vagina smells, or that cunnilingus is
uncomfortable for men to perform, and so they may feel guilt. In addition,
the position of being spread open in a man's face makes some girls feel
too vulnerable or embarrassed.
There are many positions in which to perform cunnilingus:
1. Woman on her back, man on his stomach. The variations of this
include her keeping her legs over his shoulders, pressed against her
chest, spread eagle on the bed, or closed together. Where a woman
puts her legs may indicate how sensitive her clit is.
2. Woman on her back, man coming in from above (not 69, though).
3. Woman on her shoulders with her lower body up in the air, man
kneeling with her butt against his chest.
4. Woman on edge of bed, man kneeling.
5. Woman in a chair, man kneeling.
6. Man on his back, woman sitting on his face. The woman can be
facing towards his feet or away.
7. Woman on her side, man's head resting on her inner thigh.
8. Woman standing, man kneeling underneath.
9. Man standing or sitting, holding woman upside down.
10. Woman on all-4s, man at rear.
11. Specialty furniture.
To spice things up, you can perform 69, or simultaneous oral sex. The two
positions are: side-by-side, and one partner on top of the other. If the
woman is on top, she can better control the depth of penetration by the
penis. If she is on the bottom, she can better relax. For most partners, 69
probably sounds sexy but is logistically difficult to satisfactorily pull off.
While there are many areas of a woman's region you can work on, most
women prefer you focus on the clit. That said, you can vary things by
spending some time on the labia, you can knead her thighs or caress her
breasts, and you can finger her. Fingering can distract some women from
clitoral stimulation. When in doubt, ask her what she likes, or calibrate by
her non-verbal cues.
Always be gentle at first. Women tend not to like hard clit sucking, or any
amount of biting. Flicking with a hard tongue tip can be done in the midst of
the action, but generally isn't as preferred as the soft full tongue directly
applied. You can hum to add the sensation of vibration. If a woman tells
you you've hit the spot and she's getting closer to orgasm, stay in that
position and use that motion; changing at that moment can cause her to
lose focus and have to start over.
Various tongue maneuvers have been described:
1. Circular, around the clit.
2. Up and down or side to side.
3. Running the undersurface of your tongue back and forth along the
top part of the clit.
4. Tracing the alphabet.
5. Sucking.
6. Sucking while using your tongue on the clit.
A thorough source of exercises and techniques is The Lowdown on Going
Down by Marcy Michaels.
Going Down: Leveraging Anticipation
By Cathal
I enjoy going down on a woman for the same reason they
enjoy going down on me - it's very enjoyable to know that YOU
are the one providing the pleasure and getting your partner off.
Men who can do this well are prized possessions to women
and you will always have repeat customers.
The single biggest rule is to pay attention to her body. Not
necessarily to HER, but to her BODY. As always, you can't
always trust that what a woman says as being what she wants,
even in the bedroom. On to my method:
1. Warm Her Up
Begin with kissing her, slowly moving your way down her neck,
stopping there for some sensual biting. After a bit of this work
down to her collarbone and kiss the depression above it, then
below it. Work down her chest and lick in between her breasts
softly.
Licking is a big part of oral sex, so let’s break down the two
kinds of tongues you can use. First, you have a pointed rigid
form, and second you have a wide, flat, relaxed form. The rigid
one is very strong, the flat relaxed one is very gentle.
So, you're in between her breasts using the strong tongue
spending some time there. Don't go straight for her nipples;
begin kissing her breasts and work your way to her nipples.
You'll be doing a lot of teasing there.
Yes, this is about oral sex but before you get to that you need
to be properly warming that area up and this is how it's done.
Spend some time on her nipples but not too much. After a
while you want to guide your hand down to her vagina, just
caressing it with your finger tips, not applying pressure on it at
all. Tease her for a bit. Work your mouth down her stomach,
but don't spend too much time here. It's not that sensitive on
most women, and many are self-conscious about this area.
Don't let them get in their own head about it. A woman that
gets distracted while being pleased needs to be restarted from
scratch, so don't make this mistake.
So, work down to her thighs now. Spend time kissing her
thighs, moving up to her vagina, but just graze over it and
breath in as you make your way over it to her other thigh. Kiss,
glide your teeth over her skin (avoid sensual biting on the
inner thigh; go to the top of her thigh if you want to do that),
lick, etc. Tease her. Once you get her hips moving for a little
while, it's time to go in for her vagina.
2. Pleasing Her
Now go straight for the clit! No. Bad monkey. Don't go straight
for the clit. We all know that's an important spot of the vagina,
but that's the point. Avoid it for as long as she can stand.
Spend time kissing and licking the areas around it, lick below
it, to the side of it, kiss and lick her labia, and so on. She'll
start moving her hips, and groaning while she thinks "Oh, lick
my clit already." Don't, not just yet. You can actually get a
woman to let out a "please?" while doing this for long enough.
At this point when she's been gyrating enough, I'll place my
middle and ring fingers inside her, palm up, and touch her Gspot. Just put your finger tips on it. This is going to be a bit of
a sensor for you. You can rub it a little bit with your fingers.
Some girls aren't too big on fingering, rarely, but pay attention
to how she reacts. That will be your guide. Always pay
attention to how her body reacts.
Once you've teased enough it's time to make your way to her
clitoris. This I always start out with my soft, gentle tongue, just
the tip of it though, moving it up and around. Experiment for a
little with up and down, left to right, circular, reciting limericks.
Find what she's reacting to best. Now, she's going to begin
moving her hips as she wants less attention paid to her clit
due to over-stimulation. Allow this to happen, don't fight it.
She's guiding you based off what she can feel and you can't.
Something I've experienced often is when a woman will push
her hips forward towards you, then dip them down and push
forward again. She's trying to get the front of your upper teeth
to press into the area above her clitoral hood. Usually, they
push for quite a lot of pressure against your teeth while you
lick their clit. Don't fight it, women who want this at a certain
point are really helping you along. The clit is not just a button,
it goes deeper than that and she's trying to get the whole thing
stimulated while you work on the tip. Imagine it like a girl who's
just giving you a blowjob on the tip of your penis; even though
it's the most sensitive part, you want some attention
elsewhere.
At times, she's going to raise her hips, if she moves you away
from her clit in doing this and really still wants you to work on
her clit, she'll move her hips back down quickly. She was just
getting into the pleasure and didn't mean to stop you, but let
her come back down to you - she will when she's ready. If she
doesn't come back down right away, she just needs a moment
away from the clitoral stimulation so focus elsewhere.
After a while you'll feel her G-spot start welling up a bit with
your fingers, now is the time to focus on using the same
motion with your tongue. The strong pointed tongue has
probably worked for gently flicking at her clit, but now is the
time to use your relaxed tongue but apply a little bit more
pressure with it and keep the motion the same, probably up
and down, but slightly circular (that's what I normally settle on).
Keep at it, don't vary your pace, don't change the motion, even
if she says ‘faster, harder’ - don't do it. You're paying attention
to her body, not her words here. Just keep steady and you'll
keep feeling her G-spot well up more as she gets closer to
orgasm. Keep this up, without varying and she'll orgasm quite
easily. Women often times will trip up their own orgasms by
telling you to do something different - I used to listen when
they'd tell me to go faster or harder and it would always delay
their orgasm, until I'd go back to doing what I was doing
before. Keep doing what you're doing and when you don’t do
what she tells you, you're just driving her even crazier and
heightening the upcoming release she's going to feel as she
orgasms.
Also, some women are going to enjoy your fingers inside them
massaging their G-spot, others not so much, others only part
of the time. Some enjoy an all-out finger thrusting as they get
closer to reaching orgasm. Keep experimenting to find out
what her body reacts best to, but when the orgasm is getting
close, stick with what has been working, or you're going to
have to start over.
3. And Again?
After getting her off the first time, keep your fingers inside her
for a bit, gently massaging her G-spot (unless she's overly
sensitive now and can't take it), but make sure you keep your
hand covering her vagina, move it a bit very gently but keep
some pressure covering her whole vagina. This will be your
gauge for when she's ready for seconds. Move up and kiss her
breasts, then her neck and if she's ok with tasting herself,
allow her to move in to kiss your lips. Some women do not
want to taste themselves so let them go for it. Once you can
tell that her clit is not as sensitive, start over but stay away
from her clit for a little while. Massage her G-spot for a bit, kiss
her labia, lick her thighs where they meet her vagina and ramp
up the pleasure again. Try to give her at least 2 orgasms this
way, then move on to sex and you'll be a god to her.
Many women don't even experience orgasms. Think about if
you get one of those lucky girls - you're now her new favorite
thing.
Fingering
A misconception among inexperienced men is that when going manual on
a woman, he should thrust his fingers in and out, or stuff as many as
possible inside. These tend to be unpleasant. Instead, spend most of your
time on the clit, and then perhaps work in other forms of stimulation such
as the G-spot and deep spot.
Lou Paget in How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure describes various forms
of fingering techniques:
1. It Takes 3. She is with her back to you as in watching TV. Put your
middle 3 fingers over her clit (pointing towards anus). Slip your
middle finger into her vagina. Move back up so index and middle
fingers caress the clit.
2. Thumb massage. She is on all 4s, you are behind her. Put thumb
inside vagina and massage G-spot.
3. Mini-Fire Starter. Gently squeeze her clit and rotate it between your
thumb and index finger. You can also move it up and down (towards
and away from the vagina). And you can rotate it such that your
thumb goes up (towards air) while your index finger moves down
(towards skin), and vice versa. You can jack it off like a penis. Many
of these maneuvers feel better later during the session, and may be
too forceful if done before she is adequately aroused.
4. Double duty. As with #1, her back is to you. Pull your palms and
fingers upwards, beginning at her thighs, then inner thighs, then her
crotch (alternate hands).
5. Touring the dance floor. Trace her labia in circles with your fingers.
Gently pull at her labia.
6. Y-knot. One hand separates the lips, the other hand on top
massaging her clit (up and down, rotate), and going into the vagina.
7. The world is your oyster. Woman is on her back at edge of bed, man
is on floor. Put fingers on mons while your thumbs massage around
her lips, clit and vulva.
8. The sculptor, static C. Same body positions as #7. Make a C shape
with your hand. Put thumb into vagina all the way to the web, and
press the thumb up into the G-spot while the other fingers push down
on the pubic area. Now rock the hand so the thumb glides side-toside over the G-spot, or try rocking so the thumb glides front-to-back.
9. The sculptor, dynamic gun. Put out your index and middle fingers like
a gun. Rest your free (non-dominant) hand on top of her pubic area
and pull upwards towards the belly button. Put your thumb inside her
vagina and rotate your hand so it glides along the inside wall of her
vagina. Then remove thumb, and put your index and middle fingers
inside the vagina, and rotate your hand so your fingers glide up
along the other inner wall. If this is too difficult, use the index and
middle fingers for the entire motion.
10. G-man. Insert your index and middle fingers and massage the Gspot. Your other hand rests on her pubic area, and can either apply
pressure down on top of her pubic area, or can massage the clit.
There is clitoral tissue underneath the pubic bone, and that can be
stimulated from above using the non-dominant hand.
11. Frog prince. Make your index and middle fingers doing 'frog kicks'
inside her vagina, with the hand either oriented vertically or
horizontally.
The Welcomed method involves stimulating the clitoris with the very tip of
the lubricated middle finger, lightly touching the glans while passing side to
side. Your palm can rest on her pubic area, and your non-dominant thumb
can go into the vagina or just below it. The rate is about 2 strokes per
second.
The G-Spot and Squirting
Though this patch inside the vagina was described in a modern publication
by Dr. Grafenberg (hence the name G spot) in 1950, it wasn't widely
recognized until the release of the book The G Spot in 1982. Since the
amount of arousal tissue varies widely among women, many women do not
find this region particularly sensitive, while others can achieve orgasm
when it's stimulated. This has lead to the myth that the G spot does not
exist.
The G spot is located on the top surface of the vagina as she lies on her
back, about 2 inches in, and deep to the vaginal wall (not in it). It consists
of clitoral tissue, as well as paraurethral glands. These glands are the
female equivalent of the male prostate, and they release their contents
during orgasm. This fluid can enter the bladder and give a sense of
fullness. Or women can shoot this fluid out their urethra at the moment of
orgasm, what is called female ejaculation.
Women inhibit themselves from squirting because they confuse the
sensation with urination. You can help educate women to get past their fear
that they are peeing, and encourage them to ejaculate. Squirting orgasms
can be very intense, though messy, so you may want to prepare the bed
with towels.
A useful demonstration of squirting comes from Seymore Butts' Squirters 2.
To stimulate the G spot, she can get on all fours. There are several
motions you can switch between using your index and middle fingers:
1. Press down firmly and slide the fingers in and out of her vagina.
2. Flick the fingers downward (come hither) like you're signaling 'byebye.'
3. Rotate the forearm so the middle finger slides side-to-side.
Note that with these you may introduce air, which can come out as she
moves, making noises. Don't make fun of her, but it's okay to laugh with
her to reduce embarrassment. As her G spot swells you may need to apply
firmer pressure.
When she is on her back, you can perform similar maneuvers with your
middle and ring fingers. Her G spot is easier to access when her knees are
all the way back to her chest. If you are on your knees at her side leaning
over her your arm won't fatigue as fast.
She can get onto her knees and you can kneel in front. Get your middle
and ring fingers behind the G spot and flick (signal bye-bye). As she gets
more excited, the stroking gets rapider.
The Deep Spot
Much is written about the G spot, but many books devoted to female
sexuality make no mention of the deep spot. As a result, both women and
men often have no first-hand experience with this form of orgasm, putting
you at an advantage. Deep spot penetration is one way to induce squirting.
This is covered by Steve P in his White Tiger Tantra instructional videos.
The deep spot is a Frisbee-like region that is located around the cervix, and
so is also referred to as the cervical ridge. This ridge can be plucked with a
firm 'come-hither' motion, both in the front and the back of the cervix.
Cervical orgasms can occur, though women often do not find massaging of
the cervix pleasant.
Sexual Positions
There are several basic positions, and each can have variations:
1. Missionary. Man on top. In coital alignment technique, he presses
the base of his penis against her clit by moving his body slightly
higher. The man then rocks against her pelvis to grind the clit, as
opposed to going in and out of the vagina. Variations of missionary
include a) he simply lies flat on her, b) she has pillows under her butt
and keeps her legs wrapped around his waist, c) he leans up and
back to better access her G-spot.
2. Cowgirl. Woman on top, as if riding a horse. In reverse cowgirl, she
is turned to face his feet. During cowgirl, the woman can lean
backwards. In reverse cowgirl, she can lean forward until resting on
his legs, but this takes a pliable penis; the advantage of this position
is it allows for anal play.
3. Rear-entry, or doggy style. Woman on all 4s, man enters from
behind. This hits the G-spot. In rear-entry, the man can access the
clit. In a variation, the woman can be flat on her stomach and the
man on top of her. In another variation, she can be standing, hands
on the ground.
4. Woman on man's lap, facing towards or away.
5. Crisscross. Woman on back, man on his side, such that her legs are
over his butt.
6. Woman on edge of table or specialty furniture (swing), man standing.
Her legs can dangle off the edge or be supported on his shoulders.
7. Spooning. Man enters from behind while both side-lying.
8. Man and woman standing. This is good for a quickie in a janitor's
closet. In a variation, she can wrap her legs around his waist.
Nine Steps of the Taoist Thrust Maneuver is a rhythm of intercourse
invented by a 7th-century physician. You will alternate between short
thrusts of 1 ½ inches, and long thrusts of the entire length. The ratio will
change such that you start with 9 short thrusts followed by one long thrust,
then 8 to 2, et cetera, ending in 1 short and 9 long. Then start back at 9to-1.
Anal Sex
Some women find this pleasurable, many do not. If she is willing to try this
out, work gradually into it. Never 'accidentally' go into the wrong hole during
sex. One approach is to condition her to be used to anal play during other
activities such as cunnilingus. You can calibrate her receptiveness to this
by sensing her reaction as your finger wanders close to her anus.
Anal penetration of any kind is best done with lots of lubrication,
willingness, relaxation and patience. Avoid any product with anesthetic in it,
as this reduces her ability to avoid injury.
Never put anything that was in her butt, into her vagina or mouth. Women
will often enjoy butt plugs during intercourse, or anal beads that can be
pulled out while she orgasms. All these toys should be thoroughly cleaned
between use, and needless to say, you shouldn't share these toys with
other partners.
Chapter Twelve
Props
A prop is something you find in field to use, or something you bring with
you. Let's say everyone around you is about to cheers something, if you're
empty-handed, you can grab a half-drunken glass as if it's yours, and join
in the cheers; you make the drink your prop to enter the set. If a girl has
some article on that you want to neg or tease about, it can be your prop.
Things you bring into field include your phone and jewelry. You can 'lock in'
your target by putting your prop onto her so she doesn't wander away. She
may wander off with it, so avoid using any expensive irreplaceable props.
Cell phones. A fantastic prop that can be useful in many situations: Takes
photos, stores numbers, displays photos for the purposes of preselection,
protector of loved ones, adventurousness. However, resist the temptation
to take your phone out to fiddle with when you should be getting into set; it
is not an DHV to have a phone out as if you're receiving a message, it just
looks lame when everyone else at a venue is socializing and you're
standing alone with your phone out.
Lost cell phone Approach
You spot a couple HBs sitting at a table, AMOGs all around them. Walk up,
looking around the area as if searching for something, and then ask if
they'd seen your cell phone, since you've just lost it. They'll help you look
around, won't find it, and then you 'realize' you hadn't brought it into the
club with you. By then, they are hooked and it didn't look like you were
sarging them. Stack to some fluff about cell phones, then into your usual
material.
21st Century Photo Routine
Here is an update of Mystery's photo routine (he has since started using
his iPhone for the same routine). Go get your cell phone and start taking
some good pics: have some adorable kid or puppy pics, a few pics of
female friends and you laughing it up, and some pics of you doing sporty or
adventurous stuff. Scroll through them with your target, casually passing by
the pics that hit triggers, and wind up on the one you want to show her (a
cute dog you saw today). When she sees a picture of a girl she will often
ask 'Is that your girlfriend?' You can respond, 'This is a good friend' and
then tell a DHV story about her. Always blow it off as if no big deal, which
will play into the jealousy plotline and create intrigue. When she shows you
pics on her phone, go ahead and type your phone number in, and ask her
to do the same in your phone. You've just number closed, run some
jealousy plot and shown preselection, in a matter of a minute.
IODing with TM
If a girl starts texting while you’re talking to her, say ‘oh, that reminds me, I
need to text my friend. It was her birthday today.’ Start texting while you
continue convo, looking away and leaning away. This will keep her
engaged but ping the IOD she’s giving you. If you just talk to her while she
texts you are showing too much interest and it's a DLV. Likewise if you
enter a set that you suspect might blow you out, try a similar approach. If
she shows IOIs, close your phone and engage. You can talk (or pretend to
talk) on your phone as you take a seat next to a set, and it doesn't look as
deliberate.
The Dog Contest
You and your wing have pics of a dog on your phones, and run a
competition to see which one is cuter. This never fails to open many sets if
the dogs are particularly adorable. You can then ask her if she knows what
kinds of dog are safe with children because you might get another dog and
there're always kids around in your life (hitting provider of loved ones
switch).
Take My Picture, Blondie
A commonly used opener is ‘I am thinking of dying my hair blond.’ If said to
a blonde, you can ask her to put her hair over your head for a photo that
your wing will take with his camera phone. This allows for kino as you can
smile, cheek to cheek, your arm around her shoulder, her hair over your
head. When your wing shows you the pic and says ‘Ahhh, you two look so
cute together’ you neg with ‘well, at least I look cute’ or ‘Adorable, aren’t I?’
This neg can be used without the blonde routine; instead, you can have her
plant a kiss on your cheek. Another way to end is with the neg: “Ewww...ok,
whatever. I hope you like this one, cause it's gonna be all over the internet
by tomorrow!”
Three Pics
Pics can be taken in a series of three, each of escalating kino, ending with
her kissing your cheek (or a real kiss if you’ve established enough mutual
attraction). So for example: 1, cheek to cheek, 2, her kiss to your cheek, 3,
mouth to mouth. Before the last pic, your wing can yell out the line ‘Hey, do
something crazy for the camera!’ or 'Hey, you 2 should make out!'
Tell Tarantino he can shove it!
You can walk around pretending to talk on your phone anywhere you may
find yourself, to give the illusion of social proof. Particularly helpful as a girl
walks up to meet you on a date. Or if you're in a crowd you can walk by a
set and yell, “No, we're not doing it HIS way. You can tell Tarantino to go
shove it!”
Photo Routines, CrazyWilly-style
You might get asked by a girl to take her pic. You can whip out your own
camera and take her pic as she's turning her camera on. This will confuse
her.
If someone takes a pic of one of their friends and the flash goes off, yell
“Hey, you flashed me!”
Group Photo
Approach a set where one of them is taking a pic of the others, and offer to
take their picture. Aim really carefully, then take a stupid picture, like of
their knees, or the background with maybe some hair showing. Do it a
couple times. Go into a story about how you asked a dude you met on
vacation to take your pic, but he grabbed the camera and took off with it.
Embellish what happened to him.
Alternatively, approach the set enthusiastically saying how you'd really like
to take their pic so everyone can be in the photo together. Aim
carefully...then turn the camera off. Turn it back on, and tease the set
about how complicated the camera is, then take the photo for real. Stack
into your usual material.
Hengman's Camera Routine
PUA: (after FTC) I was just wondering if you can take a photo of me/us real
quick?
HB: Yeah, sure!
(Smile when she says this. She's going to tell you to get ready to take the
picture. When she tells you to smile, don't smile. She'll ask why. Just
ignore her and see how the picture came out.)
HB: You like the picture?
(Neg her on her picture-taking teasingly. Remember when I said don't
smile? Well, ask her why she took it when you weren't smiling).
How'd you know my number? (Brad P)
If the girls is texting, pull out your phone and walk up to her.
PUA: Hey, how'd you know my number? You just sent me a text. What, do
you work for the phone company or something? I'm standing right here.
You could've just told me this. (after some more teasing, show her the
screen which reads 'u r so hot!' Have a friend text you this in advance).
Lock-in Props
A lock-in prop allows you to wander away or talk to someone else in the set
while you show disinterest during A2. Generally the target will hang around
to give you your prop back, and while standing there will overhear your
DHVing to the obstacles.
Lock in props can belong to the target. If a target is wearing a scarf or hat,
try to borrow it for a bit. This will serve as compliance testing, but also lock
her in because you can now wander away and she must find you
eventually to get her item back.
Other props:
Bottle Caps
'Men can easily get a bottle cap off their forehead without using their
hands. (Demonstrate how to stick a cap on your forehead, then wrinkle
your forehead so it falls off.) But girls don't have this ability. Once I stick
this thing on your forehead, you'll NEVER get it off without using your
hands.' (Hold the cap to her forehead but then remove it so she doesn't
notice. She'll now try to get the cap off her forehead, though it isn't there.
Works especially well in larger sets who will laugh at her).
See the chapter on identity, state and frame for more information on
peacocking and locking in.
Purses
Many girls hold very small or very large purses, so opening them by teasing
about their purse can be an easy in.
Very large purse: 'That is a poodle purse. That's right. I knew a woman who
used to carry around a poodle in a purse just like that. Let me see if you
have a poodle in there...you do, don't you. Security! We have a poodle
smuggler over here!'
Very tiny purse: 'Hey, we have a winner of the very tiny purse contest. That
has got to be the smallest purse I've ever seen.'
Women hold onto a very small article called a clutch, not exactly a purse or
a wallet, but something in between. If you spot one, you can use the above
tiny purse line.
She may then correct you with: 'This isn't a purse. It's called a clutch.'
To which you respond: 'Uh, I know what a crotch is, and that's not a crotch.'
'No, a clutch.'
'Yeah, yeah. I know what a clutch is. My grandma used to have one, and
she beat people up with it.'
Chapter Thirteen
AMOGs, Mixed Sets and Boyfriends
AMOGs are alpha males of the group, and specifically they refer to the
men who try to blow you out of a set. Always try to befriend the potential
AMOG first, but if he refuses to respect you, you may turn to so-called
AMOG tactics to lower his value.
AMOGs can present a lot of challenges to your game. Some of these men
are desired by the target (boyfriends (BFs), lovers, husbands) while others
hang around but aren't desirable (brothers, co-workers or other guys called
orbiters). If the target desires the man, you can continue to run game and
you may still close (see Boyfriend Destroyer techniques by TD). But if you
don't want to bother, eject from that set and move on. Orbiters are often
easy to blow out if you build enough attraction with the target...many times
the orbiter will simply wander away and leave you to game the girl.
One important tactic is to disqualify yourself to the set so that the AMOG is
disarmed; for example, calling your target a knucklehead makes it appear
as if you aren't interested in her. As you generally should open a set by
talking to and befriending the men, they may think you're gay and hitting on
them; to counter this, make mention of your ex-girlfriend and how one of
the girls reminds you of her (credit Style).
The Judge makes an important distinction: true AMOGs aren't worried
about you or threatened by you as a male in terms of competition. A true
AMOG like Tom Cruise will saunter into a bar, grab a girl and befriend you,
without exhibiting hostility towards you. It's the BMOG (beta member of the
group) who often tries to mess up your game by mocking your peacocking
attempts, getting mad when you start talking to their target, and picking a
fight with you when you crack a joke at them. For the purpose of this
chapter however, all these men will be categorized as AMOGs.
Handling AMOGs
Several issues arise in field regarding other men interfering with your ability
to successfully run game. Unless you sarge female-only venues, you need
to be able to adapt to AMOG interference:
1. Mixed sets. Women of beauty often surround themselves with orbiters,
so any PUA should be adept at working mixed sets. AMOGs might try to
push you out of a set once you get in, but for guys just learning pick-up the
bigger issue is talking themselves out of opening a mixed set because they
assume the AMOG is dating the target. Never assume this unless you
witness evidence of intimacy, in which case you still can open the set for
social proof but should opt out of running game on her. Read her BL before
entering to see how she is responding to his IOIs. For example, if she is
leaning away, arms crossed, looking around the venue but feigning
interest, while he has the opposite BL, she may not be involved
romantically with him.
2. AMOGs enter a set you have already opened and then try to blow you
out or drag away the target.
Regarding external interrupts, you may opt to completely ignore the AMOG
and continue to speak to the girl (disacknowledgment). This will lower his
value. You can wildly but positively misinterpret his comments so as to
negate whatever belittling tone he may have thrown at you (positive
misinterpretation). For example, you can twist comments to imply he is gay
and hitting on you. The key is to be humorous and to not become
emotional, defensive or offensive with your response.
You can turn AMOG into a dancing monkey.
Example, Vibe gets compared to Barry Manilow often:
AMOG: Hey, it’s Barry Manilow!
PUA: Hey, how ya doing, captain!
AMOG: (singing) I write the songs that make the whole world…
PUA: Awesome, man! Hey, give us a dance with that song!
AMOG: (starts dancing)
PUA: Aw, sweet! Look at my little dancing monkey, everybody!
Example, compare him to a comedian or other entertainer:
AMOG: Hey, it’s Barry Manilow!
PUA: Hey, it’s Robin Williams. Tell us a joke, Robin.
AMOG: Blah blah blah (PUA gets distracted, looks around room, checks
his phone, etc)
PUA: Huh? That wasn’t very funny, Robin. What else ya got?
Drunk, angry AMOGs
By Dale
I grew up in a somewhat rough rural area of the country where
bar fights are rather common, so this is more how to avoid
getting into a fight than actual defense. First of all, let me say
that getting into a fight with anyone these days is STUPID,
even if you didn't provoke it. The other person (or their friends)
may or may not have a weapon on them, but even if they don't
all one has to do if grab a beer bottle by the neck, tap the
bottom on something hard, and you've got a fatal weapon in
your hands.
Besides the obvious advice of staying reasonably sober, take
note of potentially problem guys - the drunk, loud ones who
seem to want to be a show-off. If you're going to hit on a girl
they've shown interest in, then...
1) Keep the person IN YOUR FIELD OF VIEW.
2) Note whether they are left or right handed. Usually it's the
hand they're holding a drink with. If unknown, assume right
handed.
If the person approaches you, position your body so you are
close to him, next to his dominant strong arm, facing almost
the same direction as him as you try to befriend him. Do this
by making like you're showing him the crowd, saying
something like "wow, some crazy women here tonight, huh?"
so it seems natural to be turning to face the same way he is.
You want to be in this position because it's nearly impossible
to sucker-punch someone standing near your strong arm. The
best they can do is a horizontal shove, which is GOOD
because people will see that he is provoking the violence and
can be arrested for that act alone.
If, as you position yourself, he keeps moving around to prevent
you from standing next to him, EXIT! He is lining you up for a
punch.
If you can't exit or blows exchange, and you're in a club with a
camera and/or bouncers, tell him to calm down while making a
palms-down motion with one or both hands. This signals
everyone (even a bouncer watching from far away) that the
other person is the aggressor, and when it's settled the other
guy will be removed, possibly off to jail.
If you draw back your fist or get into a fighting stance then:
1) The other guy is going to HAVE to fight you, you're now
challenging his ego in front of his friends/girls.
2) You're BOTH going to get thrown out, and possibly jailed.
Types of AMOGs
There are 3 varieties of AMOGs and your approach to each should be
different.
1. The bully AMOG who is jealous and tries to blow you out. You can take
TD's approach and be the friendlier guy, which is more appealing to
targets. This is the easier AMOG to handle.
2. The really (or really really really) friendly AMOG. Some AMOGs enter at
such a high level of energy (kino, joking, voice projection) it is impossible to
out-alpha them. Getting louder or friendlier would just be received well by
them and inspire them to raise their energy. One approach with this is
instead to fly under the radar. At some point this energy becomes
exhausting to others, and it may be best to stay low key as a relief. Often
wonder out loud to the target how these fellas can keep up such an
extreme level of energy, joke it's like having free entertainment (makes
them dancing monkeys).
3. Quietly confident and wise / solitary yet not needy. Making the target
laugh and being higher energy will often take care of this guy.
When a touchy feely AMOG tries stealing your target, you can usually
detect the discomfort in her response (caveman works if you've run a good
game and calibrate). Try not to worry about this, as it actually makes your
gentlemanly kino much more appealing to her. She becomes even more
receptive to a man who isn't so bold and who understands boundaries. You
can also do a protector of loved ones line "If that guy's bothering you, I can
take him outside and learn him a lesson" (said without any hint of jealousy).
The Decibel AMOG Challenge
Normally I'll get a target to buy me a drink, but once in a while
AMOG comes into the set to take your girl. Try this diabolical
idea: what if you can get the target to tool the AMOG into
buying you a drink? It is funny seeing your target trying to tool
the AMOG to do your bidding.
So here's the Decibel AMOG Challenge: See if you can get the
target to convince AMOG to buy YOU the drink while he's up
getting hers (he has to be hitting on her, not just some nice
fella in a bar).
Three AMOG Tactics (Badboy)
1. Ignore the AMOG. Let him get as loud as he wants, but stay in the convo
with the target. He will DLV. You can roll your eyes to the target. If he gets
out of hand, tell her, 'The guys here are kinda pushy. Let's go sit down
somewhere we can talk.'
2. Ask an open-ended question (especially if the AMOG is known to the
target). Use 'Hey, what's your name?' or 'How do you two know each
other.' Let him answer, then say 'Cool' and then retake the convo. Once his
thread gets cut you'll be able to reassert your alphaness over the situation.
You have the option of including him in your convo, or you can ignore him.
3. Girlfriend Destroyer. 'Hey, where's your girlfriend?' If he admits he has
one, he's blown his chances with her. If he says he doesn't have one, you
say 'Why not? You're a handsome guy, you should have a girlfriend.'
Two Rules on Mixed Sets (Mehow)
Rule 1. If your target ignores certain people in the set as you talk to her,
that gives you permission to do the same.
Rule 2. When a guy violates social norm (e.g. is rude to you), you can
ignore him. According to Lovedrop, this is a social violator. Literally, don't
respond to any of his attempts to interrupt you, other than an occasional
'cool, man.'
Q: How many PUAs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in and two to keep away all the
chodes trying to stick their fucking dicks into the socket.
Gaming Mixed Sets
by J the Ripper
Approaching
Earlier this year I did the "Freddy Gonzalez Technique" and had awesome
luck with it. I still do variations of it if it's warranted. Otherwise, I might say,
"What the fuck's going on over here?" "Looks like the party is over here" or
the timeless "Hey ways up guys?" The opener doesn't really matter...it's
just used to get everyone's attention, and once I have, it's time to work the
set.
Either way, once I open and I have their attention (80% of the time they will
all turn to face you to see what you're about) I go into something
observational/situational. I introduce myself to the most alpha looking guy
(usually), and proceed to meet everyone else if the situation allows. Always
smiling and playful, and giving the subcommunication that I'm here to
improve the overall vibe of the group.
Guys and/or Girls
I can make the guy my buddy in seconds. I've covered this before in my FR
"Kicked Out for Doing a Bathroom Pull."
Generally you do want to open the guy first and I just do this out of respect
more than technique...you don't know who he is or his relation to the group
(BF, brother, co-worker) so after establishing you're cool with him, I
transition into, "So how do all you guys know each other" and re-evaluate
my strategy if it becomes potentially deterred by relational info given to me
from the guy.
Target
When I win over the group and even the guys are loving me, I feel it allows
me to make my intentions known; I don't go M3 and ignore/neg my target
or anything like that. I actually might say something like "Wow, look at this
one (in reference to my target), I don't have to prowl around anymore I
found my girl for the night.” The one I've been doing lately is going right up
to the girl I like, putting my arm around her, and saying to everyone else
"Hey is it cool with you guys that I like your friend right here?" (but said
playfully!). That one shows a lot of balls. If you've been accepted by the
group and offered value, you will be able to get away with a lot.
Isolating
This one really annoys me. Most guys stay in mixed sets for WAYYY too
long, but maybe their agenda is different than mine. Let's say for example
we're talking about a megaset (the Casanova Crew term to describe a
mixed set of 5 or more people). My goal is to go in, pluck my girl, take her
AWAY from the group and escalate from there as soon as possible. Once I
have isolated her I know she is AT LEAST down to explore the possibility
of hooking up. If she didn't like you, she wouldn't go off with you.
The MOST important thing in doing this properly is body language. In
megasets it's normal (and inevitable) that subconvos occur. The whole
group usually isn't all interacting with each other at once, at least not for too
long. As I'm talking to my target, I slowly shift my body and "lead" her to
position herself away from the group also, but still within the perimeter. I do
this so I can talk to her and run my game without anyone listening to me
and fucking shit up. When I feel her attraction has spiked, I take her by the
hand and suggest we check out another part of the venue or go meet my
friends or whatever excuse. If her friends catch on and object, I let them
know she will be safe, and that we'll be right back, and point to where I'm
taking her still within eye shot.
So basically to isolate I initiate a 1 on 1 convo with the target, shift my body
language away from the group in an incremental fashion and lead her to do
the same. If you're talking to someone face to face or side to side and you
start to distance yourself a little, the natural inclination of the other person
is to lean in closer to hear what you're saying. Doing this a step at a time
will result in just enough isolation from the group to prep for the formal
isolation from the group entirely.
Handling BFs
Girls will often not disclose their boyfriend (BF)/fiancé/husband, or will do
so as a signal to you that she is willing to see you on the side if you're
discreet. If a girl mentions a BF, you need to decide if it's because 1) she
doesn't yet feel attracted to you or is unwilling to cheat on him (in which
case it's an IOD), or 2) she is attracted to you but wants you to be discrete
(an IOI that communicates logistics). Her level of kino and other IOI pinging
should help you determine which of these is the case. Girls who want to
sleep with you will generally comply willingly with your hoops and kino. If
you think it's an IOD, you should ignore the comment and stack to another
bit of DHV convo. If it's an IOI, you can tell her 'Yeah, I've always found
extreme discretion to be important in any kind of relationship.' From there,
do not continue to acknowledge her BF, just plow on with your game.
Here are other scenarios:
1. If she says he is helpful and very sweet, start calling him nice. If a guy is
nice, he becomes less appealing. 'So that's great, you like nice guys. Well,
I guess you and I wouldn't work out.' You can then stack to boyfriend
destroying material (below).
2. She says she would feel bad if she cheated on him. Respond: 'I have
open relationships in my life because I haven't found the girl who has hit all
my switches. I appreciate your honesty and am honest with all my
girlfriends.' She now understands that she can have a no-strings-attached
relationship with you (though you don't say it) and imply your standards are
high and she has qualified.
3. She hopes you can still hang out. Tell her you understand, that she is
attracted to you but you wouldn't want to be 'that guy' who breaks up a
relationship. This makes it clear that you are onto her and your feelings are
mutual, so she won't put you into LJBF (let's just be friends) zone, but you
two can still hang out and see how things go.
If you are going to eject from a set and haven't gotten her number due to
the BF, you may want to give it one last try with: “well, it's a shame you
have a BF because I was gonna ask you for your number.” She may
actually still give you her # or tell you her BF lives out of state, in which
case, game on.
BF Destroying Techniques (TD)
A topic of raging debate in the PUA literature, Tyler Durden's boyfriend
destroying techniques can potentially lure a woman away from her current mate.
Admittedly, these will not work if a woman is content in her relationship in all
regards.
Background - a few things to remember:
1) When BF destroying you walk a tightrope between evoking too many bad
feelings and having them anchored to you, and getting the chick to want to dump
her BF. Don't forget that your end goal is to f-close, not to break her up for some
other dude to enjoy.
2) It is preferable that you don't make it appear that you want her to dump her
boyfriend. Rather, make the idea appear to be something from within her.
3) While BF destroying, you must direct the convo to make her prompt you to tell
her how you would treat a woman. Make her work it out of you, because she's
worked up, and wants to know if she's got a fair deal or not.
4) You must REFRAME all behavior to appear like insecure nice guy behavior,
as someone who is too afraid to be decisive and go for what they really want,
since they are too afraid that they will lose it once they've been emotionally
vulnerable (as will be explained below). All behavior can be REFRAMED.
5) By making the guy look like a "NICE GUY", you are making him the most
sexually unappealing guy conceivable. Once you've done this, there is NOTHING
that he can do to get back into her good books, as you've put him into a
predicament where anything that he does will be interpreted by his GF as being
insecure. So, if he's too distant, and he makes up for it by buying her flowers ->
he's insecure. If he's too needy, and he makes up for it by getting a life -> he's
insecure. You are trying to DIFFUSE his outer glossy shell, and give the girl a
window into his inner workings, so that he no longer appears "mysterious" in any
way. You make her understand him so well, that she likes him more as a person,
but no longer has any sexual desire for him.
6) "A major point though is that if her relationship to her boyfriend was so good,
what is she doing sitting out for coffee with you? This does not need to be stated
by you. It is obvious. Your job is to find out what SHE wants from you and how
you plan to demonstrate that you can provide it to her through your stories about
yourself. Of course you need lots of stories about yourself dealing with women in
the same fashion that she likes to be handled herself. This stuff seeps in and
makes her think of you as "her type" without you even complimenting her once."
(MrSEX4uNYC)
The tactic:
What you're looking to do here is tear the guy down to a NICE GUY, while
making it look like you're actually STICKING UP FOR HIM! Your goal is to make
him one of those guys that a girl would go out on a date with, like as a person,
and feel bad for having to LJBF at the end of the night when he tries to kiss her
at the door. So how do you do that? Almost invariably, LTR's have certain
problems (which any of you who've had LTR's are morbidly familiar with):
-jealousy related spats (KEY)
-neediness
-failure to commit or being too distant
-abusive behavior (be it physical or mental)
-psychologically withdrawal, to gain certainty in the relationship (i.e.: in LTR's
each party will withdraw to see if the other will pursue periodically, to assure
themselves that the LTR is solid. This is dime store psychology, and easily
observable in any relationship).
-being irresponsible (not holding up share of chores, etc.)
-not being assertive in bed (KEY)
-being into S&M and other stuff in bed, that the girl thinks is too far out
-getting angry/frustrated when he initiates sex and girl is not in the mood (KEY)
-being too predictable, not passionate
OK, there are some basic ones. I will now break these down to show you how I
would roughly respond to any of these complaints, in a way that I appear to be
sticking up for the BF, but am inadvertently BF destroying him. This is not the
sum total of the routine, but simply the raw fuel that you are employing.
Remember, that you may not necessarily want to start escalating your sexual
state, until she is convinced that her BF is lame-ass; otherwise she may
potentially realize that you are trying to pull one over on her. This is not the rule,
but simply something to be considered based on your evaluation of the
circumstance.
Jealousy:
"You have to understand that this guy really appreciates you, because you're
probably the best girl that he ever got, or ever will get. I know that you care about
this guy but there's just a certain equilibrium where if you've done this guy a favor
by being with him and he's not equipped to handle it, since he knows that he'll
never get a girl like you again if he walks out, that he's just constantly frustrated
and panicked that you'll leave. It's not his fault.”
Neediness:
"You've got to understand that for this guy you are his entire world. He cares
about you so much, that everything else in the world is meaningless to him. You
are his only source of pleasure, and without you he knows that he's nothing. You
can't blame him, he just doesn't have anything else going for him, so he needs
you."
Failure to commit:
"It's not that this guy doesn't love you. He does. Its just that deep down he has a
fear that you're too good for him and that you'll realize it and be like, you
know....you just have to dump this guy.... and then he'll be left emotionally
destroyed because he made himself vulnerable. Yes yes I know that you
wouldn't do that to him, but its just that with (x,y,z into consideration - bring up
imbalance struck earlier in the convo) he knows that you could get other
guys...like me. I just think that he's not an emotionally secure person, and you've
gotta cut him some slack."
Abusive behavior:
"It's not that this guy doesn't love you. It's that he loves you too much, and just
can't handle it. He's not emotionally available, and because he knows that you're
the best he's ever had, he can't handle all of these things that he's going through
emotionally. All his life he probably wasn't very good with women, and women
weren't interested in him. So now that he's got this girl, he doesn't know how to
handle it. (plus use the he doesn't want to be emotionally vulnerable, because
he's such a loser ass that he can't handle it as per above etc.)
Periodic Psychological Withdrawal:
"(use combinations from material I've written.. Rather than downplaying it for
the perfectly normal behavior that it is, magnify it by making it appear to be
a sign of insecurity, that is typically displayed when nice guys who can't get
girls get stuck into a relationship with a girl that is too good for them)"
Being Irresponsible:
"It's not that this guy doesn't want to do these things. Its just that he's so
overwhelmed by all of the things that are going on, that he just can't keep up
these responsibilities. Yes yes, I know that x,y,z aren't that much, but he's not in
an emotionally healthy place right now, and he just can't handle it (you mirror this
against yourself, the image of a REAL/STRONG/COMPETENT man, basically
trying to make him seem like a little boy)"
Not being assertive in bed (THIS IS KEY, AND IS VERY OFTEN THE BEST
ONE TO USE - VERY COMMON):
"It's not that he doesn't want to excite you. It's just that he's so overwhelmed
being with a girl like you, that he's not equipped to handle your sexual needs. It's
like the typical case of the rich daughter who marries the laborer. At first the
laborer is so ecstatic to have this gorgeous girl (point to her) wanting him.. But in
the end, he cheats on her with some white trash mullet haired girl, because he
knows that that's who he really belongs with, and that's who makes him feel
good about himself. You shouldn't hold his lack of assertiveness in bed against
him, because its just a reflection of his insecurity. With the right girl, any guy can
be a stud in the sack. It's not hard, you just have to take CONTROL (perhaps
show some controlling kino here, to get her turned on then transition to some
HOT sex talk, where you inadvertently spill how much you need to take control in
bed.)"
Guy into weird stuff in bed (S&M etc) when she hates it:
"It's not that this guy doesn't love you. It's just that he uses these things to
objectify you, because he knows that he's never had a girl like you, and probably
never will once you're gone. So he doesn't want to "make love", because he
doesn't want to make himself emotionally vulnerable to you. But he still wants
sex, so he has to turn it into a perverse game, to keep his insecurities from
overwhelming him."
Guy gets angry when he initiates sex and she's not interested (ANOTHER KEY
ONE TO PECK AT. VERY COMMON):
"The thing is, that this guy loves you, and he's just exasperated that he's
completely impotent to turn you on. He just can't turn you on, and he knows that,
so he gets frustrated. It's like when you want to have sex...with me.....it's like, I
know that it's my job to get the girl turned on. Girls need a man who knows what
they want, and how to give it. When a girl says 'no', but at the same time she
loves this guy, it often means please turn me on more... please, I want you to be
more attentive to me. (this totally mindfucks the girl, as it is an EXTREMELY
COMMON part of the LTR cycle, that once sex becomes stagnant foreplay
nearly ceases. I'm amazed by how much girls in LTR's PERK RIGHT UP the
second that you imply that you're attentive even in LTR's.)
Being too predictable, not passionate:
"It's not that this guy doesn't love you. He does. It's just that he's so comfortable
with you now and feels so close to you, that you're more like a sister to him. Like
a special sister, but someone who he doesn't feel that he has to do all these
things for anymore, because your relationship is so secure and so predictable.
There's no need for all that excitement, because he knows that nothing will
change. Some guys deal with true love that way. I dunno, for me, I think that if
you really love someone, you have to do x,y,z (established earlier in convo) to
keep it fresh. But really, it's not that he doesn't love you, it's just that he loves you
so much that he doesn't see the need."
Conclusion:
So, remember that you are focusing on destroying the guy's sexual appeal, by
making him seem too familiar and easy to understand. People generally get
'one-itis' for those who are challenging and hard to understand. By making the
BF seem both easy to understand, and very insecure/nice/beta in the meantime,
the relationship will likely not last the week. Just remember not to be the LJBF
who counsels her on her problems. Ideally, she must be getting both turned off
the guy by what you're doing, and getting turned on by YOU, and the
conversation NATURALLY LEADS TO HOW YOU ARE DIFFERENT, AND
-IDEAL- FOR WHAT SHE WANTS. The natural flow of conversation must
indirectly lead to exposing your highly desirable qualities. She is getting turned
on by the DIRECT CONTRAST between you and her boyfriend. You do not offer
your qualities directly, but highlight them by pointing out that you understand
where her BFs negative qualities are insecure. Getting her to beg you to tell her
how you treat women is all the better, and if it is going well can likely be
expected.
With so many women out there, you may want to think twice (or thrice)
about gaming a girl who's in a relationship. It may lead to more drama than
you're willing to deal with.
Any woman I'm with must have baggage that fits neatly in the
overhead bin.
BangBang
Entourage Game
This section is included here because of the fact that many HBs have BFs
and are quite loyal to them. So while in a set if you realize the HB will likely
not be available to you, consider doing a philosophical shift in tactics and
try to recruit the HB into your entourage or pivot. Having a set of hot
women to roll with into clubs makes a huge difference in ease of opening
other sets. Construct a fun entourage for yourself from all the HBs who are
currently in relationships, but willing to hang out with you, the life of the
party.
Chapter Fourteen
Phone and Text Game
Once you've had a Day 1, you will out of necessity move into the realm of
phone/text/email game, before the two of you can meet up for a Day 2. A
lot of potential relationships crash and burn in this netherworld, often
because of backwards rationalization by the girl, but many times because
the man is not skilled at this part of his game. The term 'dead air' means
the text interaction is left hanging when one party fails to respond, thus
prematurely ending the convo. For a full explanation of Decibel's text game,
download his free ebook, Text Game Primer, at puafieldguide.com.
Typically, you should call or text 1-2 days after the pick-up, and often it's a
good idea to do this the night of the pick-up so you can either continue the
convo, or keep yourself fresh in her mind and used to your calls/texts.
Some PUAs prefer texting first, then calling later that day (whether she
responds or not to your TM). Use a FTC during the call, and be the one to
end the TM or call. Give enough time between your TM responses or calls
to establish your non-neediness; calling/TM too quickly or frequently may
project neediness. Waiting too long will allow her buying temp to drop or for
her to backwards rationalize your encounter and blow you off.
Keep your calls and voice messages brief. Maintain your prizability (say
things like 'You can see me tonight' or 'You can call me back' versus 'I
hope you'll have some time for me this week.') Your voice messages
should be no more than 5 seconds long, unless you are creating intrigue
with an opinion opener sort of message ('Hey, it's Decibel. Is khaki a color?
Because I was just having this discussion with my friend, and we couldn't
decide if it was a color or a fabric. So I thought I'd see if you knew the right
answer to this one. I'll talk to you later.') If there is some possibility she
doesn't have your number, leave it, but otherwise avoid leaving it in your
message. Introduce yourself not by 'Hi, it's Decibel. We met last night' but
with a tease or reminder that had been established. So for example if you
gave her a nickname, you'd say 'Hey, Ms. Elf-ears, it's me, Decibel. I'll talk
to you later.'
You don't need to ask her on a date during your first call. In fact, just
getting her talking about unrelated topics will make you a part of her daily
life, so when you do ask her out, there will be a natural feel to it. Always
speak slowly, clearly and with a deep voice. When setting up the Day 2, try
to always invite her along to an event or a plan you have previously
scheduled. It is best to time bridge to a specific point during your original
pickup, but if you can’t you should attempt this over the phone or by
text/email.
If a couple weeks pass between pickup and Day 2, mention you may not
remember what she looks like 'so wear something distinct'; you are going
out with her because she made an impression on you, not because of her
looks.
Phone Game
By Rob Judge
Essentially phoning a girl is a DLV. The minute she sees your
number pop up on her caller ID screen, she knows you're
interested. However, the only way to get a solid D2 is to make
plans on the phone first (I've set up D2s strictly using text or
email but those are the D2s that are much more likely to flake
and not show).
Since phone game is a key part of pickup, it took me a while to
develop a method that consistently works. Here's the 2 step
method I've found to yield the best results:
Step 1. After you get the number, text or call THAT NIGHT. I
know it sounds needy, but it's not. It's only needy if you "need"
something when you call. So I'm not advocating calling and
trying to set up a D2 that night, but I do recommend texting her
with some callback humor from your pickup. For example,
about 20 minutes into a PU, I usually tell girls they're going to
be "my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes." Later, if we're in C1 or
C2 I usually say, "Okay, you're pretty cool...congrats, you're
gonna be my girlfriend for the rest of the night. But don't get
any ideas, when the clock strikes midnight this Cinderella
relationship is OVER and we're gonna stage a DRAMATIC
breakup." Later, after she or I leaves the venue, I'll text "Hey
there gf for the night, I had to fight off 8 girls to stay faithful to
you...be jeal." They'll ALWAYS text back with something flirty
and you can vibe for a bit but be the one to go dead air first.
Step 2. A day or two later, I'll usually text some callback humor
again. Usually I'll say something like, "OMG just saw
(whatever) and thought of you because you're (whatever joke
you guys had)..anyway wat u up to?" Sometimes it takes a few
hours, but once she responds, call her IMMEDIATELY. For
example, the other day I had some girl text, "I'm fixing my
computer" and I called immediately and said, "I had to call
because that computer sounded so sexy. Tell me about it.
Wait, actually, first I gotta tell you about (whatever your text
said she reminded you of)."
This is key to phone game because when she is texting you
back, you're on her mind and her BT is pumped (also the
phone is in her hand so there's no reason she won't answer
the phone). Also, it transitions you smoothly into a story that
she's interested in (because it involves her). It also doesn't
come off super needy (as if you're calling to get value from
her) because it seems like you had a "reason" to call. Even if
the reason is retarded (i.e. a computer getting fixed), girls will
always laugh if you deliver the "opener" well.
From there, I usually FTC (i.e. "Anyway I can only talk for 5
minutes because I'm working on (whatever cool thing you do),
but I thought I'd let you distract me for a few..." Usually about
15 minutes of fun conversation is enough to ensure a girl won't
flake on the D2 (presupposing you're decent on the phone and
can bring up lots of callback humor). Also, initially girls are
somewhat cold on the phone (probably because they're used
to chodes calling them and being like, "Um, so what's up?") but
if you get some good jokes in early, they'll warm up quickly.
Most guys get caught up on the number of days they have to
wait to call, but this is irrelevant. In fact, I think it's better to call/
text while you're still on her mind rather than wait like every
other loser who got her number. The important things to
remember about phone game is: getting her laughing and
reminding her why she gave you her number in the first place.
The reason I like the text/text back/immediately call "routine" is
there's no chance of getting a VM. Sometimes girls will
intentionally ignore a call or sometimes they'll honestly be
doing something and can't pickup. REGARDLESS, most girls
won't call back a guy she met a bar EITHER way because it's
awkward.
The other alternative I've found to work is simply to take a girl's
number, not give her yours, then call when she doesn't know
it's you. I started doing this to practice my phone game since
most girl's reaction is to hang up immediately (literally I did it to
practice talking over girls when they give me their bullshit
excuses). Keep in mind, you have to immediately game them
and pump their buying temperature to get them to stay on the
line. I wouldn't recommend this because most super hot girls
(HB9+) won't even pick up a number they don't recognize and
you need REALLY solid phone game to get this to work. But
it's a good drill to try on numbers you're ambivalent about
anyway. If you can flip a girl from being cold to super warm on
this kind of call, your phone game is solid.
A girl saying "Who is this" is the ultimate make-or-break
moment in phone game. It took me a few hang ups to figure
out how to answer this, but I figured it out. Here's one
example:
HB: Who is this?
Rob: We got married in Vegas and you've already forgotten
me. That's it. You're going to AA, missy.
Of course, this is only for girls I told I'm gonna marry in Vegas
(which, for me, is any girl I talk to for more than 5 minutes).
Other good ones are, "That hot guy you kissed and (whatever
else you did)" or anything else that's funny, will remind her of
who you are, and doesn't answer like a chode. NEVER
ACTUALLY SAY YOUR NAME. When I first started, I used to
answer like, "Umm The Judge, I met you at (wherever)" and
next thing I know, the girl would be like, "Yeah, can I call you
back (click)". When you immediately get her laughing then
stack, i.e. "Oh shit. Some crazy thing just happened and I just
had to tell one of my Vegas wives, get this..." you're in. All the
phone awkwardness is gone and you have her feeling the
same good emotions she felt when you took her number.
There are several key elements that need to be explored:
1. Non-neediness. If you've been maintaining the frame of an independent
man with a full plate of people to see and things to do, and then suddenly
on the phone you show an excess of neediness, you're done. Calling once
a day is needy, making comments about having lots of free time is needy,
picking up your phone the moment she calls back (particularly on a Friday
or Saturday night) is needy, and calling her right back is needy. You need
to remain slightly unavailable and aloof. Busy guys don't tend to sit around
waiting for their phone to ring. Using a FTC during your call will also give
the impression you're a busy guy. Similarly, she may try the 'well call me
the day before and I'll see' tactic; don't fall into this. Your time is valuable
and you need a confirmed day and time you two can meet. Otherwise you
are inviting the flake. The bottom line is you are choosing to speak with her
and set aside time with her not out of desperation or loneliness, but
because she is special and worth it.
2. Intrigue. You've taken care to build attraction by DHVing, and build
comfort with identity grounding. Do not at this point slip back into your AFC
ways and make fluff talk or be any less fascinating. Continue to open
strong, carry your alpha frame of self-confidence and mystique, employ
push-pull, and leave her wanting more. Think back to the old cliff-hangers
where the film left you with unanswered questions. You should do the
same with your texts or calls. A text that reads 'OMG I just thought of the
best nickname for you!' will create intrigue and inspire her to respond. As
opposed to 'Hey Sally, my plans fell thru 2nite, so if U R free give me a call.
Ok?'
3. Timing. If you call or TM too soon, it can show neediness. If you wait too
long, her buying temp will drop. In short, there is no right answer to the
question of when to re-initiate the convo, and you will have to learn from
your experience. Advice has been given ranging from the same day to one
week later. Regardless, it is typically safe to not use the very first reconnect as a way of asking her on a date, though the idea can be seeded;
instead, call just to tell her about something funny that happened to you
today. If you call, leave a message and don't just hang up. She may be
able to ID you on her cell, and it'll look weird that you didn't follow through
with a message. Unless she responds, don't even think about calling or
writing more than once on a given day. And often wait 1-2 days before your
next attempt (or even longer). Though some are more persistent, if she
doesn't respond to 2 attempts, she's likely not interested anymore, so move
on. If she does respond, look at the amount of time it took her to call or
write back, and use this as a gauge of how long you should take to send
another message. If it took her a while to get back to you, never call her out
on it or antagonize her about it. Sending a TM at around 9 PM makes you
the last thing she thinks about at the end of the day, and the first thing the
next morning (credit AFC Adam/Mr. M).
4. Build comfort. You can use phone calls to get a woman comfortable with
you, though don't expect to build more attraction. Face-to-face interaction
is the only reliable way to know if your DHV's are hitting, and the only way
to get her used to your touch. Still, you can build rapport over the phone if
getting together will not be possible in the near future. This will contribute to
the seven hour rule needed before sex.
5. Dead air. If you ever text something and she fails to respond, that is
called getting dead air. Sometimes it means you screwed up, sometimes
she just got distracted. Always try to use dead air in your favor. If a girl shit
tests, don't respond. If you get a response that isn't what you wanted, wait
a while to respond; let her worry that she made a serious misstep. While it
may seem alpha to have the last word, with texting, a good rule is let her
send the final text.
The following are some other texts to reopen. Notice lack of punctuation,
and frequent use of abbreviations like u for 'you', ur for 'you are/your' and
lol for 'laugh out loud.' Also, typing long words conveys a sense of
neediness, not unlike frequently returning to threads which had been
interrupted during conversation. Someone who is very busy doesn't have
the time for proper punctuation and long words, so generally convey your
message with precision and small easily typed words without excessive
punctuation. Be strategic in your use of the exclamation mark, since it can
imply emotional reactivity.
Try to end each text convo just as you would with kino or phone convos,
which can be done with 'ttyl' (stands for talk to you later). This implies the
convo is over, and if she then responds, such as 'ok, ttyl' that means she
loves you since it's not necessary on her part.
PUA: Aye how do you get gum outta your hair? Fell asleep and got gum in
my hair
Her: Peanut butter
PUA: Got any peanut butter?
Her: lol no
PUA: Some help u r!
PUA: Hey red or green? pick 1 quick
Her: Red
PUA: Mmm going with green
PUA: Think I just found some batgirl underroos for u
PUA: think I just saw your face on a milk carton
PUA: ur silly... snakes don't have armpits!
PUA: Was that u I saw earlier?
PUA: OMG some smelly girl came @ me last nite
PUA: When we were thumb wrestling you weren't wearing a glove. Now I'm
pregnant. We need to talk. (Credit: The Judge/RoB)
PUA: Almost got into a bad accident last nite. whew!
TM/email abbreviations:
ch@
Mmmm or Hmmm
lol
:)
:(
:o)
:o(
<3
(()) c===3 ?
;^)
;)
;-p
@-->---(.)(.)
ROFL
LMAO
ttyl
chat
either 'thinking about it', or 'yummy'
laugh out loud; can use 'haha'
Emoticons for happy/sad
heart/love
booty call?
wink
wink with tongue
rose
boobs or scared eyes
rolling on the floor laughing
laughing my ass off
talk to you later
Emoticons and Text Faces
Mix and match characters for a variety of faces:
Eyes...
:
;
Noses...
'
*
^
=
o
Mouths... <
/
o
p
)
(
Examples... :*<
>:=/
:')
b
:*(
x
;^p
Girls Flaking on the Phone
By Cro
I use a tactic that some of you would frown upon when first
thinking about it, but it works a lot for me. If I haven't built any
real comfort, and she is flaking on me on the phone, I throw a
negative frame around her 'making her a social violator' (credit
Lovedrop).
Let's script it...
Her: I'm busy tonight. I have a work.
Me: That's alright, I'll let you make it up to me.
Her: Oh how so?
Me: I'm free this Friday...after seven though, and then
Saturday afternoon. You better not flake on me again, because
I'm busy the week after and I will be taking you out.
At this point, I've thrown it out there that I'm a high value guy
that she can't throw off like she does with AFCs. She tried to
IOD me, but I refused to accept it because I'm a fun, cool guy.
However this statement must be presented correctly, and you
don't want to be seen as just stubborn on the phone and
creepy, you have to be laughing and fun and keeping her
happy emotions spiked at all times.
Now there are three ways she might respond from where I left
off:
1)
Her: I don't know, I'm busy on....
Me: You know, don't sweat it! I'm going to this cool party on
Saturday evening...come to think of it, if you promise not to
embarrass me I'll take you with me!
Here she tried to disarm you again, but you brushed it aside
and asked her to qualify. If she does Qualify at this point,
you've sparked attraction again and raised BT and you can
continue stacking.
2)
Her: Well...I think Saturday is okay..
Me: Good, (serious) but I can't stay long so (humorous) you
better not flake on me!
Her: Haha! Alright!
3) (Best case scenario)
Her: Friday sounds good
Me: Oh wait....no it's alright, Friday it is. Oh you better wear a
coat then. *stack*
This is when I have a gut feeling about a girl, and I know she's
attracted but I haven't built comfort and THAT is why she is
flaking. This probably will not work if there's no real attraction.
Chapter Fifteen
Internet Game
Internet Gaming
Though not considered 'going into the field,' online dating has helped PUAs
supplement their real-world gaming. Some guys have had remarkable
success with it. What follows are some tips in building your online
technique:
These are tips from New York's 72off:
For me, online game is so much easier than real life sarging I can't even
compare the two. I usually talk about f-closes when it comes to closing, but
if you expand that to makeouts, fooling around, etc. I would say my
success rate is at least 80% on a first date. And I could fill my calendar
from today to the end of the year with a new date a day, and that is not an
exaggeration. Here are my simple "rules" of online game:
(1) Have a great profile. I basically brag like crazy in my bio; I don't talk
much personal stuff, mostly just cocky funny things like "I went to UPENN
and even managed to graduate" and I do this and that. Also, keep it
relatively short.
(2) Focus on those who contact you first (obviously not the Spam/Russian
gold diggers).
(3) Chat online/phone/etc as little as possible... ask to plan a date more or
less on the first or second e-mail and if they start dragging it on with online
chatting/phone convos etc... move on. And keep e-mails you write to girls
SHORT. VERY SHORT. Nothing pisses these girls off more than long
winded e-mails from 45 year old guys who want to marry them from 2
pictures off the internet.
The following is an excerpt from a book by AdamStealth detailing how to
construct a dating page.
Looking like you have your shit together
A picture really does paint a thousand words. Think about this: She doesn’t
know what you’re like with kids, or how much money you earn, how much
of an amazing guy you are. When you message someone, think for a
moment about absolutely everything that that woman can now see about
you.
This is the list I came up with, I’ll use MySpace as an example (this is in
order):
· Profile picture (thumbnail)
· Subject of your message
· Screen name
· Message text
If she clicks on your profile
· All your photos
· Photo captions
· Your ‘about me’
· Your videos
· Your friends
· Your computer/HTML skills
· Your interests and relationship status etc.
· Companies you’ve worked for and your JOB TITLES!
I’ll give you a run-down and some pointers to how to make each of these
elements as good as they possibly can be. In this instance, I’ve used
MySpace. Some of the other sites aren’t as flexible as MySpace, so make
your own judgement. If you treat each of these as its own task, your profile
will stand leagues above anyone else's.
Profile Picture
I'm a massive advocate of having excellent photos of yourself for a whole
arsenal of reasons. First, it’s almost the only way you can communicate to
a woman who you are and convey your identity. I recommend changing
your Profile photo once every 10 days. It shows you’re a frequent user,
you’re always doing stuff and you have a busy life. What I have is a folder
on my computer called ‘Profile Pictures’ in there I put all of them as I get
them. Then if I'm having a slow month, I can dig in there and pull one out
from last year, just to keep it fresh. One of the main things here is you want
your picture to serve a purpose, it MUST be triggering an attraction switch.
The easiest attraction switch to trigger using photos is Preselection.
Subject line of your message
As an Email Marketer by trade, I can’t tell you how important this is. I’ll
show you with a screen shot what someone will see:
The main thing you can see is the subject line. If this is “Wow babe you’re
hot”, you can bet anything it’s not even going to get read! The “RE:” is there
because they replied, but I actually wrote them there. What you see is letter
for letter what I typed. The instinctual reaction is to click something with an
RE: next to it because you’ve already replied, you’re in the middle of a
conversation. It’s obvious right? Try it out and see what happens.
Remember the objective with the subject line. You just want them to click
on it. That is it, not to reply or give a phone number… Just click the
subject line. You can write anything! Here are some top tips:
Top tip 1: If you have their name USE IT, email marketers have seen
results go up 32% because of using their first name in the subject line. In
essence, you are an email marketer and your product is you.
Top tip 2: Use RE: before typing anything. (Remember to check the exact
format of the letters and capitalization that is used on the specific site
you’re using at the time). It makes her think she’s already sent you at least
one message.
Top tip 3: Make her open the damn email! This is the only purpose of the
subject line. Swear at her, offend her, lie to her… Do anything - but get her
to click the damn link. Think about it, if she doesn’t, it’s game over anyway!
Screen Name
I'm very unopinionated about screen names. I don’t think they matter very
much at all. Only thing I would suggest is, if you have a cool name. Use it.
If you don’t, you can come up with an alias, I sometimes use ‘Shine’ – I'm
not sure where it came about, but I’ll change it from time to time.
Sometimes I’ll be Adam, other times I’ll be Shine.
Message text
The content of your message is obviously the most important thing you’re
going to put together when it comes to Internet Dating. Assuming your
message is on her screen, regardless of anything else, if she’s taken it in
and read it, the message will generate a response or it won’t. It’s ‘sink or
swim’ time.
And I'm going to make you swim!
This is an overview. The only objective in your message text is to get her to
either respond by pressing reply and typing back, or giving you her phone
number. That is it.
This is actually just simple marketing and copy writing. We’ll do this by
stimulating her emotions, then giving her a really easy decision to make.
‘Respond or don’t respond’ the easiest way to do this by far is asking a
question at the end of the message. Go with something silly and fun and
that doesn’t require any thinking power at all on her part. One of the recent
ones I used was:
“My friends and I are having a party in a few weeks and 8 of them want a
waterfight and the other half wants mud wrestling. As the party host, I get
the final call, but they’re both fun. Which one do I pick?”
This is great because it’s demonstrating you’re fun, you’re hosting parties
so you’re the ‘leader of men’. While you haven’t said it, there’s very subtle
preselection in there too because I'm fairly certain 16 guys wouldn’t argue
about a water fight or a mud wrestling contest. There must be women
involved.
I’ve sent messages to women with almost no DHV stories / spikes and I’ve
generated responses because the messages have been so funny or so off
the wall, they can’t help but respond. My suggestion is try and make them
funny. Not just a little bit funny, (not that you’ll see this) but try and make
her laugh in her computer chair at home. You’ve heard the saying “if you
can make her laugh, you’re half-way home”. Well, in this case, we’re
already at home, but the same principle still applies. She laughs, you get a
message back.
Read her profile!
If you ask any woman, just as I have, what will make a woman respond to a
message online, she will tell you: “Oh, I need to know he’s read my profile.”
– That’s perfect! Quick, simple, easy tip. Just go in her profile, literally
skimread it, find something you can TEASE HER ABOUT and pick her up
on it.
She says “ooooh, I love snowboarding!”
You say “You… snowboarding… Oh, I took you for a cheerleader, maybe
you’re not fun after all”
See, you’ve teased her, you’ve made her do that “ahhhh, I can’t believe he
just said that” thing that girls do. But, you’ve also demonstrated that you’ve
read her profile now. So let’s break it down.
If in her mind, you had to show you had some kind of value, you were funny
and show you read her profile, now you’ve just got yourself a very positive
response!
Your Entire Photo Collection
This is by far the most important asset you have to work with if she’s giving
your profile a chance and looking at it. The great news is, it’s awesome fun
putting these collections together. Now, I want to explain HOW to select
what photos you use.
More the better: You will need a minimum of 50 photos on Facebook and
MySpace. On dating sites, you typically can’t have that many photos, so
make the most of the 10 or so that you are allowed.
The Purpose: The purpose of the photos is to flip those attraction switches
and demonstrate as best you can that the LIFESTYLE that you lead is an
attractive one, and one that she wants to be part of.
Photo Captions
Wow, why does nobody use these? You can add so much value to your
photos just by putting a few words against it. Without a caption, she will
decide for herself what’s going on in the photo (if it isn’t obvious). If so far,
your profile hasn’t done a great job, her opinion of your online identity isn’t
that great, so she’ll assume that it’s not that cool what you’re doing.
However, if you tell her, her opinion of you will increase. Let me find a
photo at random and I’ll show you.
“Me and Jack in Almeria, Spain: In a bar before
I took us all to ‘Pacha’ and later partied in our pool”
While not exactly the most thrilling example, it shows I'm on holiday, I’ve
made friends, I’ve used the ‘leader of men’ attraction switch in that I took
everyone to Pacha. This stuff actually happened by the way, but even if it
didn’t. It’s not lying, it’s flirting...
About me
In my opinion, the more off the wall, wacky and absolutely ridiculous this
section is, the better. It should be funny, totally crazy, and make her
wonder if you’re for real. It should be congruent with your identity and your
photos. Here are some pitfalls to avoid:
Pitfall 1: It’s not a ‘dating ad’
If when you’ve gone to write your first one and it’s started something like:
“Hi, I'm Adam and I'm 5’6”, I like to…” Then STOP!
This is not a sales letter guys. I know I keep saying ‘the objective is’ but
each point here has an individual, unique purpose. The purpose of this is to
‘tie everything together’ and reaffirm ‘who you are’ so your DHV sentences
are going to have to be congruent with your photos and videos. So don’t
write it like it’s a dating ad. If you want to mention that you’re 6’1” and built
like you’re chiselled from stone, then why not write about yourself in the
third person.
Pitfall 2: Be congruent
If you’re a rock climbing instructor that likes playing video games and
socialising with friends, don’t put on your ‘about me’ that your passion is
playing the Xbox360. Women respond to passion, and when you’re
passionate about something, it’s a real turn on for a woman. But if you
have a choice to make that ‘passion’ be rock climbing (because it’s your
job) or playing a computer, trust me when I say, make it the rock climbing.
Pitfall 3: Not thinking outside the box
You can literally do anything. Why not make a flip book of you meeting a
woman and make an animated gif file of it and put that on your page. How
about recording a video using your video camera? What about putting “I'm
a very modest chap, but I'm not going to sit here and tell you all how
incredible I am, so I thought I’d get some friends to.” Then get female
friends to record videos or audio saying how much fun you are, or at worst
case, write them and just include photos to make it seem real. All these
web 2.0 concepts really do allow you to step outside of the box. I regularly
have videos of me doing mad stuff on holiday, in swimming pools, playing
football, in clubs, doing cold approach with women, drinking, drinking (not
at the same time) getting VIP treatment. This is all stuff you can do. Worst
case, you buy VIP tickets to a club or something and take a bunch of
photos with some friends then make it look like on your profile you got it all
for free. It’s not a requirement at all, but it’s worth doing at least once.
Your Top Friends
Most people overlook this. It can seriously be used to great advantage.
People try to do this but they go wrong and it fails miserably. I’ll use
Myspace as an example here: Go and request a bunch of really attractive
but not model type women and put them as your top friends. What most
people do, is go find 20 SuperSluts or Porn Stars or celebrities, this is way
too obvious and looks really sad. Genuinely attractive women but people
you COULD realistically be friends with. Perhaps send them all a message
saying that the winner gets a “special surprise” for the person who sends
the best ‘comment’ or ‘wall post’ on your page. If only 5 respond, you’ve
just got 5 super hot women to post on your page saying great stuff about
you. Not only that, but you now “owe her” so go through the motions with
that girl and close her.
Your Computer/HTML skills
I'm going to say very little on this as it’s not applicable to most websites but
I’ll give some general pointers.
MySpace: Keep shit off your page... ‘thanks for the add’ graphics, pointless
comments, any shit you didn’t put there and adds no value to your page...
remove it. Be sure not to click on crap because you can get viruses too.
Facebook: Don’t have too many applications because it looks stupid and
annoying when you accidentally request all your friends to use it. Keep it
basic guys.
Spelling: If you can’t spell, don’t expect to be fucking 10’s anytime soon. If
you can’t spell, get a spell checker and USE IT.
Your Interests and Relationship Status
I’ll warn you, this isn’t going to be a content-rich section. The only thing to
say about this is be yourself. Answer the questions honestly. I have gone
on a mad experiment with this and really, nothing effects the outcome. I’ll
always say, incorporate anything that conveys high value into your dating
profile wherever possible. For instance, Do you smoke, yes or no. You’re
not going to say yes when you don’t or vice versa because she’ll know
when you start smoking.
Companies you’ve worked for and your JOB TITLES
Wehey! A bragging section! Why so many people don’t fill this in is totally
beyond me! What do you have to hide by not filling this out? That’s exactly
what it does; it screams that you have something to hide. This isn’t like a
CV where you *might* get found out lying and you’ll be sacked etc. You
can twist the truth slightly. For instance, if you’re a bartender, you might put
‘Bar Manager’ instead. It’s harmless promotion, you probably deserved it
anyway.
Simply put, do fill this section out. It’s very important. It shows that you
have your shit together and have a life for yourself. Put any business ideas
down with you as ‘Managing Director’ or ‘CEO’ and call the company
something. Try and make it sound a little better than it is, if it’s a fairly low
end job. Also, in a lot of these websites, they ask you for your income. My
advice is answering it honestly. It’s not like you’re going to take her to some
flashy restaurant anyway and pay, so you don’t need to worry about her
looking to you as a sugar daddy.
When your alarm goes off at 6.30am and you start getting ready for your
day, this is a part of who you are, what do you do, what you do for a living
is the beginning of you creating your identity. Enjoy what you do, and be
passionate about it.
I use Facebook like a champ. Applications are where its at. Look at the
page of every HB you add and see what the popular applications are.
About a month ago and here, it was Bumper Stickers. So you add bumper
stickers and have fun.
Facebook
By CrazyWilly
I "Facebook close" lots of HBs. If one HB has a unique name
and the rest don't...it's easy to find the one with a name you
can actually search for.
Make sure all of your tagged pictures DHV you. So no sloppy
drunk pics. No pics of you making out with a HB in a bar. Just
pics of you having fun and being social. A great way to get an
approved friend request is to take pics of the HB the night
before. She'll add you to get the pics.
Remember that Facebook leads you to a full name and party
invites. I've gone to parties at HBs places and I still don't have
their number...their phone number doesn't matter to me.
Internet openers
Many women do not respond to the mundane openers of 'Hey, I liked your
pic so I thought I'd send you a quick email. I'm 26...' To catch a person's
attention, sometimes you need a quirky opener. Here is a collection of lines
you can try out:
Subject: Hi again
Hey, didn't we get married in the Cayman islands like 2 years ago??
Julie...right? How's everything been? I still owe you that club soda!!
Chapter Sixteen
Day 2
My Day 2 Model
By Rob Judge
Alright, I'm going to outline MY D2, however don't feel you have to get
locked into copying the EXACT locations or events. For example, where I
bounce her back to my apartment after grocery shopping, you could
bounce her back to your car or wherever else you plan to use as your sex
location. Essentially, all you need to make this D2 to work is the underlining
structure. The locations, activities, and times are completely arbitrary.
FINALLY, one more little "note from the field" before I get into it. Aside from
the structure, the most IMPORTANT lessons I learned from all my D2's (in
order) are:
1.) LET HER GAME YOU!!!!!! So key! The reason I didn't bang dates for
such a long time AFTER I had been banging dates was I got "too good for
my own good." Once I had a ton of attract "material" and stories to throw
out, I'd just keep talking and making the girl laugh the entire date. She'd be
sitting there getting epic LOLs (and I thought I was on course for an epic
fuck) while she was probably thinking the whole time, "Wow, why does this
guy feel he has to entertain me? He must be a tool..." So STFU on dates,
your dick will thank you! (EYE CONTACT WITH A SUSPICIOUS SMIRK IS
KEYYYYY!!!!! BEST “ROUTINE” EVAZZZZ)
2.) Be aggressive...from the jump. Honestly, if a girl doesn't feel like she's
in danger of getting FUCKED from the minute she sees you, you're wasting
your time and not doing your fucking job. Get some balls and get those
crab hands in motion.
3.) Don't get stuck on bad threads. I've had girls bait me into RETARDED
conversation topics that KILLED the vibe of the date. NEVER EVER EVER
discuss religion with a girl. EVER. (Even if her religious views are
absolutely insane and ridiculous.) I've been burned on this more than
once...
4.) BE NORMAL. This sort of goes with number 1, but the D2 isn't time to
flex your pickup superhero muscles. Chill the fuck out. Chodersate if you
have to. Again, I used to show up to D2s with my pickup guns blazing and
it was just embarrassing. If the girl shows up to the D2, SHE ALREADY
LIKES YOU. Chill out, run a little attract material and just ENJOY THE
GIRL. She has cool stuff to say too. Sometimes. ;P
LOCATION 1: The Attraction and Comfort phase: The first hour of your D2
should take place here. Ideally, you had her meet you at or near your place
(despite what a lot of PUA literature advises, I find it's better not to invite
the HB in right away. I usually have girls buzz my apartment and I come
down). When you see her, give her a hug, exchange cliche pleasantries,
then IMMEDIATELY stack into a story. Just like in phone game, taking the
awkwardness of the first 2 minutes off the HB's shoulders is super
important in preserving her comfort. I use either the "Grabby Homeless
Man" story or I improv a story about something that happened at work that
day. The sushi place is 2 blocks away and the story fills in the gap between
my apartment and the sushi place.
Once we get to the sushi place and we sit down (By the way, if the hostess
says sit where you like make sure YOU choose where you sit. In fact, if she
starts sitting down somewhere say, "Sit over here, the view is
better"...remember you made the plans, she's in YOUR reality). When the
waitress comes over, I ask, "You like beer, right? A round of Sapporo." If
she objects, fine (some girls won't drink beer), but most are fine with it.
Once the waitress leaves, begin running attraction material.
Again, I'll cover this in the "Master Theory" but you should have 10-20
canned stories about your life that you're ready to bust out during dinner.
All these stories should communicate various aspects of your personality,
where you've been, what you're interested in, what your friends are like,
etc. LET HER INTO YOUR REALITY. Also, in between telling these
stories, you should be constantly qualifying her and baiting her to tell you
interesting things about herself. However, ALWAYS maintain a strong
frame (the first half hour is where she's going to shit-test you and try to
steal the frame...it's key you constantly remind yourself to act like a guy
who has scores of women in his life and she's trying to win you over).
Some of my favorite "D2 disqualifiers" are:
- "That was such a funny response. My little sister would say the
same thing! In fact, you sort of remind of my little sis! That's so cute"
- "What happened to that nice, sweet girl I met at the bar? Who IS
this person sitting across from me?"
- "Hmmmm...I don't know about you, I don't know if this friendship is
going to work out..."
- "You know what, I don't care about that. Tell me about..."
Hold out your hand on the table palm up, and demand "Hand." When she
complies, inspect her hand, message it a little, run your nails over her
palm, then push it away, "Man hands. It'd never work between us."
The key is constantly push/pull and qualify her. Usually after every neg or
IOD I hit her with, I immediately stack into a funny story or something that
won't let her respond to what I said. This creates a nice "roller coaster"
effect, where she gets upset but then is laughing a few seconds later. Also,
the way you should tell stories on your D2 is very animated: SUCK HER
INTO YOUR REALITY (can't stress that enough).
When the waitress comes to take your order, ORDER FOR BOTH OF
YOU. I found ordering something to share is infinitely better than ordering 2
separate dishes. 1.) It'll save you money, 2.) It's a romantic thing, it'll trigger
attraction switches in her brain, 3.) She'll eat less and be more in the mood
to get naked than if she'd eaten a huge meal.
Throughout the meal, keep threading between DHV stories, qualifying and
baiting statements, push/pull material, re-framing you're the prize, and
neutral topics. Again, I'll develop all this in the "Master Theory" but talking
about neutral topics (general interest stuff) is just as important as telling her
the hilarious DHV story about the time you went to Germany for a writing
assignment. It allows some space for her to process her emotions and
shows you're not trying too hard to entertain her. Some topics of general
interest I like to talk about are 1.) Monopoly (the board game), 2.) Genderrelated issues, 3.) My idea for a Kevin McCallister home security system,
4.) That guy who found his true love on the New York subway. Get the ball
rolling on these topics, spend about 3 minutes discussing them, then
interrupt her mid-sentence and stack back into a qualifying question or a
DHV story. Example:
HB: Oh my God? A Kevin McCallister home security system? Like from
Home Alone? That is too funny!
Rob Judge: Yo, I had my house burglarized when I was 8. They took a
bunch of my shit and I never forgot that. If my dad had installed some
swinging paint cans or left some micromachines by the stairs that shit
would've never happened...
HB: Hahahaha, oh my God. How did they break into your house? Like did
they Rob Judge: Wait, I don't want to talk about that anymore. Okay, if we were
going to rob a house together how would we do it? And don't say
something stupid or I'm gonna rat you out to the cops before our glorious
life of crime even begins...
You've succeeded in phase 1 (which is really the only phase you have to
do any real work in) if: 1.) You're in the restaurant for over an hour and
she's not looking around or getting restless (also, if you finished your meal
but the waitress is not bringing the check, that's a huge IOI as it's obvious
to an outside observer that you and your "date" are having an awesome
time and they don't want to interrupt); 2.) she's continually qualifying herself
and when you neg her or IOD her she says, "Nooooooooo" or "Stop! Don't
think that!"; 3.) She's telling you how funny/entertaining you are.
Oh, and one thing I left out. When she gives you a good answer or is IOIing
you it's perfectly fine to give her an IOI, SOI, or compliment (just not on her
looks). Here are some I found work great:
► "You know I'm glad we met. It's cool we got together like this. I'm
having fun."
► "I love that about you! Nice, this friendship may work after all."
► "Okay, you're cool. High five."
► "Awww, are you nervous? Don't be nervous, you're doing fine so
far. I liked when you were telling me about..."
► And my all-time favorite (reserved for girls I'm very interested in
after they give me an awesome answer qualifying themselves): "You
know why this is awesome? Because I NEVER meet people like you.
I mean, look around, this is Manhattan. There's so many people you
could theoretically have sushi with a new person every night. But you
know why I'd never do that? Because most people say a lot of shit
but never get off their lazy asses and do it. And even more people go
through life with no idea what they want or what they're passionate
about. When I meet people who aren't like that, like you, I make sure
to keep them around. So, we may just have to do this again
sometime..."
One and a half final points before I bounce you guys to the next location.
Point 1: Toward the end of the date, start seeding and hyping 2 things: 1.)
Your next location, 2.) Your long-term lock-in prop. The second point only
applies to girls you actually want to see again. The first applies to girls you
want to f-close. Okay, the next location should be a bar or coffee place, or
somewhere that you can talk and get some kino going on. I usually play up
the "ultimate white trash" bar down the block from my apartment. Since I
make it sound really funny and describe it very vividly, HBs ALWAYS want
me to take them there. As for the long-term lock-in prop, if you want to
secure a D3 with this girl, start talking about a book or movie (that you own)
that you are REALLY passionate about. For me, I usually over-hype my
favorite book as this divine entity that if they don't read they'll be
incomplete. I seed the sex location as well by saying, "Oh, you want to
borrow it? Maybe. It's back at my apartment, if you're good I'll grab it for
you later."
Alright, you get the point. Now, Point 1/2: I know all you PUAs are waiting
to hear what I say about the check. Just pay it. Usually, HBs will pull out
their purses when the check comes. Honestly, if I was really running low on
cash and let them pay, I don't think it'd hurt me. However, (and maybe this
is still an AFCism left over) I just feel better paying for the first date (also,
when they pout about it, I say, "Okay, you can buy me a white trash beer at
the white trash bar.")
LOCATION 2: Demonstration of Non-neediness Phase: Phase 2 is
simple, but implementing it is critical. So, as we're leaving the sushi place,
she thinks we're headed to the white trash bar. Right as we walk out on the
street, I go, "Oh shit. I need to pick up some things from the grocery store.
Okay, you can come with me and we'll have a little adventure. Come on."
(holding out my arm). Once we enter the grocery store, I start walking
toward aisle 2 and she always follows. Then I turn around, smile, and say,
"Stop stalking me. Go to aisle 1 and pick me out a nice batch of
strawberries. And seriously, if they suck, you're fired. Go!" And I playfully
push her away.
I usually grab a few things and then come find her in aisle 1. It's funny
because every girl I've done this to is always concentrating really hard on
the strawberries as if their life depends on picking the best batch (I take it
as a huge IOI). This is a perfect chance to act all "loverly" and sneak up
behind her, put your arms around her, and ask how she's doing. I usually
like to smell her and compliment her on her perfume. Once she turns
around smiling, I quickly push her away, "Come on, let's go. I'm thirsty for
some white trash beer" and I walk away from her.
LOCATION 3: Sparking the Sexual Tension: Now, since you have some
groceries, you have a reason to bounce her back to your sex location. For
me, this is my apartment. So, at this point, she feels really comfortable with
me, is giving me tons of IOIs, and I'm starting to escalate my kino. When
we get into my apartment, I start putting the groceries away and invite her
to, "Look around". (Keep in mind, my apartment is decorated with all kinds
of chick crack: From French foreign film posters to my original artwork on
the walls to my guitar propped in the corner.) Girls always bombard me
with tons of questions which I never answer. Instead, I put my finger over
their lips, go "Shhhhhh", pull them into me and kiss them. Usually, the girls
get really into it and we start having a little makeout session. I start kissing
them a little on their neck and ears, and, once they start getting turned on
(after about 2 minutes), I pull away and say, "Come on. White trash bar. I'm
thirsty and want to see some mullets." Expect the girl's eyes to go really
wide as if saying something like, "What the fuck?" because they've
probably never had a guy walk away from them when they were ready to
fool around. However, I'm hypothesizing that IF I simply started escalating
sexually at this point, I may be able to get her naked and fool around but I
doubt she'd bang me at that point. I feel by having the chance to fool
around but walking away, you give her the final push she needs to
overcome her ASD. When you're ready to pull her, you'll have created all
the space you need for a D2 f-close.
LOCATION 4: The Foreplay Location: No, the name is deceiving, I don't
actually advocate any genital stimulation - even if I did bill location 4 as the
sex location. You don't need to do much at this point because the HB will
be so turned on, you can literally say ANYTHING. At this point, she should
be looking at you with the doggy dinner bowl face, agreeing with everything
you're saying, and qualifying herself to you HARD. At this point, I usually
just make her work a little harder and frame myself as the prize a few more
times, just so she doesn't get buyer's remorse later on. However, two of the
biggest traps/shit-tests usually surface at this point.
HB: You are such a player, aren't you?
HB: How many girls have you slept with?
If you answer either of those questions seriously, pack it in brother because
you're not getting laid. Honestly, answering a question like "Describe your
nastiest shit" would be more attractive than answering either of those
questions. Usually I ignore it the first time she asks. If she brings it up
again, here's how I respond:
HB: You are such a player, admit it.
Rob Judge: (Smiles) Pa-lease, what would give you that impression?
HB: Because you're a smooth talker and Rob Judge: (Puts finger over her lips) Shhhhhh, I was just starting to really
like you and then you went and ruined a moment.
(She'll shut up)
HB: So tell me, how many girls have you slept with?
Rob Judge: Stop asking, I'm a virgin. You know that.
HB: SHUT UP!! Tell me!! How many? I'll bet it's like a million.
Rob Judge: A million? Oh my God, you're retarded. That's humanly
impossible. Who would have the time to have sex with a million peoHB: Ahhhhh! Stop you know what I mean!
Rob Judge: Okay fine, since you're being so bratty about it, I'll tell you. Is
that what you want? Fine. Hold on, let me know do some mental math
here....(holds up fingers as if counting) Are we counting just girls or guys
and girls...wait, wait, and what about goats? Oh man, and there was that
time in Vermont when I had that cow orgy...shit, this is gonna be a hard
tally...
HB: Hahahaha, stop!
Rob Judge: You stop! (Tickles her, starts making out in the bar) Okay,
enough with the white trash. I need some classiness. So here's what we're
gonna do. I have to be up tomorrow early for work, but let's go back to my
place and we'll have a glass of wine and I'll explain the picture/play you that
song on the guitar/give you that book I was telling you about.
LOCATION 5: Sex: At this point, it's on. The only final caveat I'll give is I've
found the majority of girls I've brought back have said at one point, "We're
not having sex though". This is probably the most hilarious statement in the
female idiolect because, if she says that, you might as well put a condom
on and put a stopwatch on it because you're having sex within the hour. In
fact, I got so accustomed to hearing that (usually at the exact same spot,
too: As we're climbing the stairs to my walk-up apartment), that on my last
D2, I actually beat the HB to the punch and said to her, "Hey, we're not
having sex tonight." HILARIOUS! She agreed and then later begged me for
sex. I wouldn't recommend using that line the first time you try this D2
structure but try it after a few.
Monday Night Throwdowns (Decibel)
Friday and Saturday may turn out to be bad Day 2 nights,
since many times even if you set up something her friend may
call her at the last minute and she may decide a night out in a
club sounds better than going on a date. Monday Night
Throwdowns might help you timebridge to an event that
sounds exciting, without requiring you to spend money or look
in the paper every week for some captivating event. You and a
bunch of your wings set up a day of the week (Mondays are
good since her BT is still pumped from the weekend, and
besides it's a poor sarge night generally), and have a weekly
party at a well-known fun venue. You don't have to tell her
what the throw-down is for...in fact if you leave it a mystery
until she gets there, she may be more interested in going. The
girl doesn't know it's a weekly thing, you just tell her you're
having a huge throw-down with all your friends, and she's
invited. Really over-sell it, maybe print up crazy invitations to
hand out. Then have all your wings invite their day 2s to the
MNTD. If she shows, you introduce her to all your socially
savvy friends and then extract to the 'real' day 2, and if she
flakes, you sarge. Even if you don't set up the MNTD, just
mentioning it on your day 1 can be an attractive bait for her to
agree to see you again.
Chapter Seventeen
Beyond Day 2: the mLTR/FB
PUAs are known for their skills at picking up women, but they aren't as
adept at maintaining long term relationships (LTRs). However, a
reasonable goal of getting good at pick-up is to establish multiple LTRs
(mLTRs) or fuck buddies (FBs), girls who understand that you are not
monogamous and that both parties are free to sleep with other people. A
LTR is a girl you see routinely, sometimes a couple times a week, and do
social things other than sex. There may be romantic feelings, so essentially
that person can be a true girlfriend. An FB is seen with much less regularity
and frequency, solely for the purpose of sex with no strings attached
(NSA).
One advantage is, it is convenient to have women available to satisfy you
sexually, without needing to go out and sarge constantly for new partners.
In addition, mLTRs imply a deeper level of connection than just sex; the
women you select for mLTRs are of high value and worth spending time
with for activities other than fornicatory.
Cathal has a reliable model for converting a lay to an FB:
As far as FB's go, I have a bit of a system I follow. I've used the same
routine successfully over and over so here it is. To summarize:
Pre FB (day 1)
Pre-Sex: Tell her how it is
Post-Sex: Mold the relationship
FB Groundwork (day 2)
Set the frame
Leave the door open
Create an FB (day 3)
Meet/Re-game
Lay again
Okay, now in detail:
Pre FB
Tell her how it is
If you're looking to convert a lay to an FB, be straight up and honest - but
take your time. What I've done with every successful conversion is, right in
the heat of the moment prior to sex, but after foreplay, I say "so, I'm not
looking for anything deep here, are you OK with that?" You may blow
yourself out or trigger ASD/LMR, it's a risk you'll have to decide if you are
willing to take. I've yet to have someone say no. Try it. You'll like it. The
timing is a little shady but it's still being honest with them. They're usually
just so wound up sexually from the foreplay that they still want the sex and
say that they're OK with me not wanting it to turn into anything. Most
confident girls have the idea that they can change men's minds on virtually
anything when they want to so it just gets brushed aside if they don't have
ASD triggered.
Mold the relationship:
After establishing that you're not looking for anything and giving them some
mind-blowing sex, throw around some casual, friendly joking. Cuddling is
fine, women want that after sex so give it to them, but don't focus on talking
about the sex or how amazing they are - and don't be a romantic in any
way. Around this time I'll usually attach a nickname to them. Do NOT under
any circumstances let the nickname be something that can be
misconstrued as an insult. For example, please don't call them "Stinky" or
"Raggedy Ann". I think this goes without saying, just be careful. All of this
playfulness is set up for the frame of "We had some great sex, but let's not
get romantic here".
FB Groundwork
Set the frame
The next day I'll text the girl to accomplish a few things: 1) I let her see that
I still want to communicate with her, 2) I'm not going to pretend like we
didn't have sex; in fact I'm open about talking about it, and 3) I take the
opportunity to DHV and IOI her to continue momentum and not give her a
chance to have any regrets. Here's how the texting usually goes:
ME: Wow *nickname*, I was getting in the shower today and it looks like a
badger attacked my back
(Playfully mention the experience and show that you're ok talking about it.
Use the nickname to show that you two are mildly connected as you have
a nickname for her.)
HB: OMG. I'm so sorry! I must have gotten carried away. LOL.
ME: Ha, don't get me wrong, that's fine with me. I know I only attract the
wild ones. (IOI, mild pre-selection reference)
If they left you without a bite mark, scratches or any other sexual mutilation,
just mention something like "Wow, when I woke up it looked like hurricane
*nickname* hit my bed! You're a freak
“
There's usually a ST or two to deal with after that. Deal with them like usual
then you just have to...
Leave the door open
ME: (Mention something fun about your interaction with her before sex and
how much fun your non sexual time was with her. Do this to disarm her
from thinking you're only about sex (even though you probably are) and
still had fun with her in other aspects. FB's are not just people you call that
show up, take their clothes off and fuck you. You still have to have some
other interaction with them so remind them that you two got along great
and have fun when you are together. Re-establish comfort.)
HB: (Agrees to the good times that night, etc.)
ME: Well, HAD to let you know about (the badger attack, hurricane
*nickname*). I'll get ahold of you soon, there's a *insert time-bridge to
event*.
Now, the door is left open that even though you're not looking for
something major, you fully intend on hanging out with her again.
Create an FB
Meet/Re-game
When you do hang out again (assuming that you successfully reestablished comfort) you need to be sure to work some attraction again to
avoid being LJBFd. Include progressive kino into this. Don't go overboard
with the kino, you want to send a non-verbal message that you are still
attracted to her but you are now discreet in public. Keep push-pulling with
the kino, build some sexual tension. You'll almost 100% of the time be
asked why you're holding back so much and this is solid gold when it
happens. Just put your lips up to their ears and whisper "Well, we're not
dating each other, I just like being a little more discreet. You said you
understood that, now do I need to take you back to my place right at this
very moment because you can't contain yourself for a little longer?". Now
you've established that you still want to have sex with her again, even
tonight, but you also re-established that there is no deep relationship here,
"let's stay discreet" in other words. This will get 1 of 3 responses:
Yes.
No, you're just driving me crazy (keep push-pull kino going, offer an invite
back a little later)
Um, I thought you weren't looking for something (either a ST or you lost it
and she's not interested in being FB's. She's calling you out. Treat it like a
ST.)
Post-sex/Set the rules
After having sex again, it is now time to be honest again. You want to let
her know that you have fun hanging out with her and that there is an
obvious sexual attraction, but you're not looking for a relationship. By now,
she usually gets that, but lay it out there. She knows you don't think she's a
slut because you've laid down some quality time with her, not just thought
about having sex with her. Tell her you'd like to hang out more, you just
aren't looking for any kind of relationship at this point in your life. If you've
done everything else properly, establishing comfort, maintaining attraction,
and haven't made her feel like a whore, you should have yourself a new
FB.
Just keep repeating day 3 and it will become a norm for the two of you to
hang out and fuck at the end of the night. I make sure to let girls know that
they can hit me up when they want to as well. Don't blow them off too often
when they do, but don't accept every time either. After a while the two of
you may start to get out of contact (she got into an exclusive relationship,
or whatever) then all of a sudden one day BAM!, you get a text/call and
you're back on.
Chapter Eighteen
Same Night Lays
The Ripper Method
By J the Ripper
I try to go for SNL's as much as possible, and in so doing I've pretty much
stuck to this format (there's a lot more to it but here's the gist):
1. I go in high energy and try to spike her buying temp ASAP. Use C&F and
go into kino escalation (whatever...twirls, hugs, high fives, arm around her).
Once I judge she is reasonably attracted, I isolate.
2. While in isolation, I start with the sexual talk and test the waters. So far
no comfort material at all; it's all just playful and gradually getting more
physical. I try to keep her laughing, and avoid any serious talk. They say
going in for the makeout is bad, but after doing this for nearly two years, I
say that's not as accurate as I had believed. Once I'm making out with her,
it's basically my cue that she is down. It's important you keep bumping her
BT the whole time.
3. I suggest the bounce and try to have as many logistical contingencies
planned out. After I've pulled her and know it's gonna go down, my goal is
to keep talking and distracting from what we both know we're about to do.
4. After I've boned her, THAT'S when I start the comfort phase and get to
know her. As I lay in bed with her, I try to stay there and fill in the comfort
gap I created by talking to her anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. I lay
the comfort down pretty heavy, and I find this works perfectly because this
is the time most women will feel the most attached to you. Many guys will
have the inclination to get up and leave after they bust their load, but by
taking the time to really get to know her and make her realize this isn't just
some random lay, she can backwards rationalize that this was a good
decision.
Front Seat Bang Technique (J the Ripper/dB)
1. Have her lay down in the passenger side, and recline the
seat as far back as it can go.
2. Come in through the driver side and get on top of her, with
your knees kneeling on the edge if the seat facing her.
Alternatively, when you walk a girl to the passenger side, open
the door for her like a gentleman, but then climb on top of her
and close the door behind you.
3. Take her shoes and skirt/pants off.
4. Then you take your trousers off and strap on a rubba.
5. Put her legs up and over your shoulders.
6. Her pussy will be up by your belly, and you can guide her in
whatever elevation you please.
7. The old in and out.
Ever notice when you get up and want to leave, she usually wants you to
stick around and snuggle and shit like that? Why not capitalize on her
emotional state, and do the comfort up big, to assure your chance of
another meeting? For me this is the only way to go if comfort had been
neglected previously. In doing this, it eliminates Buyer's Remorse (most of
the time) and you may have just added yourself a new fuck buddy.
I'm not saying this model is for everyone, and happens to fit within my style,
which is high risk. It's been consistent for me and that's why I tend to stick
to it.
The Sensual Man
By Cathal
Decibel asked that I write my thoughts on SNL's, but it got me thinking
about something I think is important regarding SNL's. This is more about
how to be the type of man that gets SNL's, rather than a process to follow
to get them.
Men often think about what they're looking for but forget to think about what
women are looking for. Being a quality man isn't just having true DHV's,
nice clothes, culture and substance and all of the other things we try to
craft ourselves into. This is where MM leaves off and I don't see much
community talk about another catalyst to being a high value, quality man:
being sensual.
Offering sensuality is something most men can't do well, but as PUA's and
naturals are more experienced than AFC's, sensuality shouldn't be a hard
quality for any of us to capture the essence of. Most men want sexuality,
but most women want sensuality. Sensual is still sexual, but sexual doesn't
always imply sensual. Many people talk about escalation in a very linear
way. Like it's a line graph shooting into the upper right hand corner in a
straight line, maybe with some plateaus. Push-pull is important in being
sensual, but it's how it's done that's important. Here's a few elements of a
sensual encounter and how they're played with to make it sensual.
Kissing. It's one of the most sensual things two people can do. It's one of
the first things we do that is tied directly to sex. There are different kinds of
kisses. Some are friendly, some are loving, and some are sensual. One big
thing that separates a sensual kiss from make-out style kissing is in the
words used themselves. A sensual kiss is just that, "a" kiss. This doesn't
mean only kiss them once, but that each kiss is individual, not a constant
few minutes of slobbering all over each other.
Breathing. Our breath rate tells us a lot about what's going on inside us. It's
even a form of communication in any sensual experience. Letting her hear
your breath is a great way to get her to mirror yours. While in between
kisses, moving your lips to her ear so she can hear your rate of breathing
go up; it's a great way to accelerate hers. Generally this will cause her
heart rate to go up, another thing attached to any sexual encounter. You're
telling her through an actual form of communication that you are feeling
more passionate. This will spike her BT further, not to mention likely your
own.
Touching. When you run your hands lightly on a woman's skin, you may
notice how if you pay attention to many areas but ignore one, when you
finally make it to the ignored area it drives her nuts. It's because the areas
you've been touching are getting accustomed to the feeling, but the area
you've ignored isn't, so it becomes more sensitive. Sensual touching is best
done while not kissing. Give it it's due focus and it again will show your
restraint and control over the situation, thus your experience.
Control. I generally like to be the one controlling, but I'll treat control as
something like a proverbial torch that gets passed back and forth. Even
while kissing a girl she may not make her lower lip readily available for a
soft bite, so I'll reach my hand up and slowly squeeze her lower lip so it
pops out a little, then bite her lip and pull away. I'm controlling that. She
may want to take some of that control back and I'll let her have it for a
moment, but then I'll take it back. Some women rather me to stay in control
and that's fine too. Read what they want, pay attention and react to it. This
is another difference between being sexual and being sensual. A sensual
man pays attention to this sort of thing. He doesn't just go for what he
wants in the interaction. He understands that there are two people
involved. It really takes the interaction to another level and makes it unique,
and shows the self-restraint you possess, and again, the experience you
have.
Quality women do not want to go home with some hot club guy who they
know just wants to add another notch on their belt. That's for bar sluts. This
isn't about how to take a slut from the bar home. Any AFC can do that.
A quality woman is less likely to pass on a rare sensual moment she's
sharing with a well-attuned, sensual man however. It's an important quality
to have.
Being sexual in public is something many men and women feel mildly
uncomfortable about, mainly because they're still thinking about those
around them. Being sensual is so much different because when you're in
that moment, sensuality is only about the two of you. I'm sure you've all
seen it or been there before, those two people who are locked into each
other in the club like they're the only two people there; that's a sensual
experience right there and it's probably game on for those two. And after a
woman experiences a sensual moment with someone she's attracted to,
she's likely to have that "oh my God, did you guys see that" attitude
towards her friends, rather than the "uh-oh, you guys saw that, didn't you"
attitude.
Their friends will also notice that this is something other than just some
random hookup. There's a connection, a sensual connection that's
undeniable and they want that too. Why would they deny their friend of it?
So, approval is more likely to come from them. This isn't to say that all girls
will say to their friends "Wow, you're so lucky," and won't be jealous and
pissy. However it's more likely to get positive reactions from her friends
than if you were groping and jamming your tongue down her throat in the
dingy corner of the club.
So, rather than mention "techniques" or "game plans" on how to garner
SNL's, think about learning to sensualize your interactions rather than just
sexualize them. Good PUA's aren't game-plan followers anyway. That's for
guys just getting into this. Seasoned men craft experiences.
Here are some other notes on things that characterize an SNL experience:
► After a few kisses, tell her you want to kiss her again but not here.
Outside the door of the club perhaps. Something non-threatening. If you
didn't let the kissing go too far, you won't trigger any ASD in her, she's in
the moment and wanting more, not coming down from a make-out session
that she'll begin feeling self-conscious about.
► Go. Slowly. Don't. Rush. Rushing is for guys who don't want to lose out
on possibly sleeping with her. Forge a connection, lots of unspoken things
that are said through your eyes, facial reactions and body language. If you
escalate in a plowing way, you're gonna run out of things you can turn her
on with. Pulling quality SNL's doesn't generally happen in 5 minutes. If it
does, congrats, you most likely are the flavor of the night for a bar slut. It
generally takes time with quality women, so don't use up every bit of
sensuality you have within 5 minutes. This requires a lot of restraint, but
this slow progression causes intense sexual tension, and will get her
wanting the interaction to proceed to the next level. This is partly due to the
fact that she's used to being moved much faster by less experienced men.
► Get her to say "wow, i can't believe this is happening," instead of "should
I be doing this?" I don't think that can be stressed enough. It's the girl who
says "I'm doing something wrong" who isn't going to go home with you. It's
the girl who can't stop thinking "wow, is this really happening?" that's along
for the ride.
► Pulling the trigger. As far as how - not when, but how - to pull the trigger,
try this. While kissing, pull away and say "ok, wow, why don't you gather up
your things” (or “get your coat,” whatever works for the situation). If she's
DTF (down to fuck) at this point she'll comply, but if you pulled it out too
quick she'll ask why. Respond with: "I'd like to really kiss you, and we're
starting to make all these people around us jealous. Let's just get some air
for a few." Getting her outside the club is a damn good start. While kissing
outside of the club be sure to say, "wow, so this is pretty intense" and let
her agree. Call out the fact that you're feeling the same strong chemistry
that she is. After that, don't kiss her again, but get close and let her kiss
you. Let all that passion well up in her. The more you make it build up, the
more it bursts out and she'll be begging you to take her home with obvious
IOI's and cues.
► Cues she's ready to go. There are tons of cues for this since every girl is
different and communicates her intentions differently. Some will come
straight out and say what they want, others will do the exact opposite;
they'll get really quiet and do a lot of body rocking while touching you. It's
still the same thing. Think about body rocking itself. It's an FTC which
says, “I need to be somewhere else.” When a girl does it early during an
interaction it's genuinely saying, "I need to get away from this guy." But late
in an interaction when her BT is up it's saying, "are you going to ask me to
come home with you?"
► The invitation. If you're unsure if it's time to ask her to come home with
you, but can't hold back anymore, wait until she's a little bit quiet and then
try saying, "you're trying to figure out how to ask me to come home with
you." Then wait for it, the coy or perhaps fake-shocked look, then say "you
can just ask." If she's spiked enough and ready to give in, she'll ask and
you can change it to going back to your place. If she says her place is no
good for whatever reason, say "and you're too polite to invite yourself to my
place, I see. HBdowntofuck, would you like to come back to my place with
me tonight? I have a wonderful bottle of wine I'd like to share with you (or
some similar form of plausible deniability)." Mind you, none of this is said
the way you're reading it - it's all said slower, with a purpose. If she says
that she's not trying to ask you home with her, proceed to ask her to come
home with you. She's not going to throw her drink in your face, slap you, be
appalled or any of that if you've spent the last 10-15 minutes sharing a very
sensual and intimate moment with her. You may get shot down, but it won't
be that harsh. You'll probably actually get a number and plans to meet up
again, but she's not the type to go home with someone she just met, for
whatever reasons she may have. This should help you get used to asking
and get better at calibrating when to ask.
► Rapport-building. Building lots of rapport while sensualizing in theory
sounds great, but I've never tried it. I have a feeling however that this will
turn the situation into something she doesn't want to ruin by having sex too
soon. Great if you're looking for a girlfriend, for sure. I'd say try it, and if it
seems like it's hurting the SNL goal then drop it. Remember, the main
purpose of sensualizing is to create a connection that is passionate in
nature...undeniable, visceral chemistry that makes the heart race and the
knees weak. Building rapport requires words and the biggest thing that can
screw up a sensual experience is opening your mouth for something other
than tracing her jaw up to her ear with your lower lip.
► Shit tests. Be ready for them. Expect to hear, "So, what are your
intentions with me?" or the like from her, or her friends asking you your
intentions with her. Don't act accused, but rather stay in character and
reply, "Intentions? This is as much of a surprise for me as it is you. It's not
every night you find this kind of intense chemistry with someone." Say it
slowly and sincerely. The test is to find out if you do this all the time, as if
you've got serious game, or if this is for real. Normally ST's are dealt with
differently, but in this moment it's more of a congruency test, and if you turn
the player switch on and deal with the ST as usual, you're no longer a
sensual man to her but a player trying to get into her pants.
Here's how I set and set up the sensual man frame:
Frame is something that is tossed around rather liberally in the community
as a term. At it's most basic level a frame is simply an "implied reality."
Holding a strong frame is an "accepted implied reality." An old MM example
is:
"Did you go fishing today?" (Weak: no real frame set here)
"Are the fish biting today?" (Strong: frame has been set that they have
gone fishing)
This technique is to be done when you've already begun developing some
attraction. This isn't approach stuff obviously; all but the first step is done in
isolation for the best results. What I do is set up for frames and then set the
frames, establishing myself as a sensual man. Here are the setups and
frames I set, along with how I do them:
The frame:
The socially savvy man
How to set it up:
Game others, talk to women AND men, develop social proof, dress
well...essentially just do what you normally do when out gaming. We all
know it gets noticed. This is what happens before you begin talking to your
target.
How to set it:
Talk about social dynamics, such as body language mirroring. This sets
you apart from most men, and is interesting to women. It's easy to guide
into this discussion by asking women if they like people watching since
most will say that they do. If they say they don't, you can still segue that
you do. They'll still find the mirroring conversation interesting. I find that it is
absolutely key to explain that body language mirroring is what two people
who are comfortable with each other do, such as old friends or lovers.
Explain BL mirroring to her, then once she knows what it is point out to her
when she mirrors your body language a few times. You're also setting the
frame that you two are comfortable, like lovers. Don't worry about the old
friends thing, she knows why you're talking to her. Take some time to point
it out in other people too, tying in with the people watching discussion thus
enhancing your congruency with what you've been discussing with her.
The frame:
The sensual man
How to set it up:
Have a discussion about sensuality in general. Women love talking about
this with someone they've begun generating attraction for.
How to set it:
Talk about specific things that are proof you have knowledge in how to BE
sensual. I use some routines I developed or modified into routines from
things I've read. Here they are, followed by descriptions:
► "Kissing Women" routine.
► "Erogenous Zones 1" routine.
► "Erogenous Zones 2" routine.
After you've done the set up for the frame you want to set, these routines
are easy to segue into:
"Kissing Women" routine:
Cathal: Yeah, there's a lot of simple things most men don't get, like just
how to properly kiss a girl.
Cathal: Women kiss men the way they want to be kissed, but most guys
just don't seem to understand that.
Cathal: Most women subconsciously compare every kiss to the best kiss
they've had.
Cathal: So, in turn by kissing them the way they want to be kissed, then
kissing them even better you now give them the kiss they'll compare all
future kisses to.
Note: The above lines are separated because after each of them she'll
either agree or ask a question. As long as you did your frame set-up
properly she most likely will not disagree or shit test you.
"Erogenous Zones 1" routine:
Cathal: You know, people have erogenous zones all over their body.
Women for example have lots of them all over their neck. By simply
reaching up and firmly, but not roughly, grabbing the back of a woman's
neck (*now grab the back of her neck in the manner you just described*)
those zones can be triggered. (*Keep holding for about 2 seconds, smirk a
little when she reacts*) Another one is their lower back. (*run your hand
down her back and place your open hand at the base of their spine, in the
small of their back, again smirking a little when she reacts*)
"Erogenous Zones 2" routine:
Cathal: Those zones are good, but the best one I know of is the back of the
hand. Reach out for her hand and gently grasp it, keeping her palm facing
down. (*Begin running the fingers on your free hand over her hand just
brushing the hairs, occasionally coming in contact with her skin*). You see,
the back of a woman's hands has a direct connection to her breasts (*keep
holding her hand and raise your other hand up and point at her breast with
all five fingers, so that your hand is shaped like you are grabbing at her
breast. Let your pinky very lightly touch her breast where it meets her
cleavage*). Specifically the nipples (*motion towards her nipple with a
pinching motion but don't touch it*). (*Now continue back to caressing the
back or her hand with your finger tips, occasionally touching her skin and
making contact more frequently as you move your hand. Look her in the
eyes when you do this*).
She will react to this. I've yet to have it fail. After doing this for a while say,
"Pretty crazy huh?" or simply "So?" Anything that is inviting her to tell you
what she's feeling. If by some miracle she says that she didn't feel anything
but your hand on hers, explain that some zones are less sensitive than
others on different people, but some are overly sensitive on others as well.
~~~~
By this point you should have her all hot and bothered, and you are now
fully accepted as one of the most sensual people she's ever been around.
There is another zone in the middle of the top ridge of her trapezius muscle
that is triggered by sensual biting. Not a bad time to talk about sensual
biting and tie it into that erogenous zone by offering to demonstrate. Move
her hair away from her shoulder, grasp the back of her neck from the
opposite side you'll be sensually biting, then sensually bite her in this zone.
Chapter Nineteen
Inner Game
'Game' is divided into two parts: outer game and inner game. Traditionally
speaking, your outer game includes your routine stack, your kino
escalation, basically all the tactics and gambits you may use to get the girl.
Inner game is everything happening on the inside: your core confidence,
your sense of deservedness, your drive to close and so on.
When you start along this journey, you may recognize the importance of
inner game, but you will tend to put more focus on your outer game.
However with exposure to the field, most men realize they have more inner
game sticking points than they realized, and that these sticking points are
interfering with their success. And so they get to work fixing these issues.
In the end, for many who are deeply involved in the community, inner game
is where it's at. All the routines and tactics are no match for an unflappable
frame, an unshakable sense of confidence and a profound comfort in one's
own skin. And for many, it is the difficulty in surmounting their inner game
problems that lead them to give up and leave the community before
achieving competence. For an exhaustive discussion of inner game, check
out Decibel's free ebook Inner Game Primer at puafieldguide.com.
Solidify Your Inner Game
By Rob Judge
Decibel asked me to contribute something on inner game and I jumped at
the opportunity. Writing out your thoughts allows you pull a thread of order
from the haphazard way we think about things, and thus the simple act of
writing ABOUT inner game is the foundation OF inner game.
However, the term “inner game” is a misleading anachronism from the oldschool community lexicon. To me, inner games implies it parallels outer
game. What you spit is outer game, what you feel WHEN you spit is inner
game. There’s some truth to that, however developing inner game is not as
linear and applicable as, say, learning a routine stack or executing an
attraction tactic. Inner game is ambiguous, deep-seeded and elusive.
On the other hand, because inner game is so enigmatic, there’s not much
turnkey advice on how to improve your inner game. Aside swooping
generalizations, most instructional literature stops short of outlining a
specific regimen one can practice to improve inner game.
And this is probably for the best, as everyone enters the self-development
arena/pickup community with different mindsets, beliefs, issues, mental
problems, limitations and social handicaps. Teaching an opinion opener is
a cookie-cutter solution for anyone to start a conversation. Teaching how to
correct someone’s thoughts, beliefs and feelings is not universal.
But in an attempt to mitigate this seemingly paradoxical “inner game”
dilemma, I begin by acknowledging inner game is an elliptical and
(sometimes) chaotic process but will suggest very specific and concrete
ways to solidify your inner game.
Probably most guys reading this are guys who have some field experience.
After learning the whirly-twirl flash antics of routines and tactics, guys
realize the difference between a good night and a bad night isn’t the words,
the moves or even the structure, but how they FELT when they interacted
with the girls.
In a sentence, focusing on inner game is moving from delivering field
tested material to becoming a field tested MAN. Although, field tested is not
the right word: It’s more like FIELD HARDENED MAN.
The community guys with tight inner game are simply the guys who go out
and approach. There’s no way to learn inner game on the internet or from
an e-book or by going to seminars. Nor will hypnosis and affirmations give
you the type of inner game you need to attract women. The simple truth is
that the hard way is the easy way: you want inner game, go out. It’s no
different than bodybuilding; all the dieting, supplements, information and
rest is absolutely useless if you don’t go to the gym and do the reps.
But going out is not the be all and end all. There are guys who go out
constantly and still don’t develop tight inner game. And it’s those guys I’m
writing for, as much as I’m writing for myself. To develop inner game, we
need a roadmap. Let’s try to untangle this mystery and define inner game.
After studying naturals, community guys who are super tight, instructors,
“gurus” and other socially calibrated, likable men, I’ve noticed similarities.
For the sake of this article, I’m going to limit the discussion of good inner
game to simply the inner game needed to pull girls. No matter what system
or school of pickup you follow, female to male attraction is based on four
factors:
1.) Offering value
2.) Dominant/Leading
3.) Emotionally unreactive
4.) Core confidence
*I would also add a fifth factor which is “Sexually non-judgmental/openness
to sex” because I find this is crucial for pulling girls quickly, but it’s not
absolutely necessary to spark attraction.
Most community guys get stuck at some point in their progress in what’s
called “Entertainer Man” syndrome (also known as “dancing monkey” or
“Ronald McDonalding”). This is when you’ve learned how to offer value and
enjoy the validation and female attention you derive from it, and thus
entertain the girls like a chode then go home alone to do the five-finger
shuffle.
While there’s a condescending stigma attached to these “Entertainer Men”,
I don’t think getting caught in this phase for a while is such a bad thing.
You’ve effectively mastered one of the four factors needed to create
attraction. That’s awesome. Ironically, from what I’ve observed, most
naturals have the other three factors in place but lack the ability to
selflessly offer value. (This is especially true of “pimp assholes” who are
masters of “dominant/leading” and “emotionally unreactive” but are
valueless d-bags who are socially uncalibrated.)
Although, unfortunately for Entertainer Man, offering value alone will never
get you laid. Ever. Any of the other three factors in isolation WILL
occasionally produce a lay, but entertainment will only get you attention,
not pussy.
Even worse for the community guy, Entertainer Men APPEAR to be huge
pimps. No doubt you’ll blow your whole lair away if you can get that bitchy
turbo HB10 giggling at your routine stack. Chodes will be amazed, forums
will glorify you. Learning how to offer value is FUN because you’re learning
how to make people LIKE YOU. You don’t have to step on any toes. You’re
just the fun social guy, making people laugh and delivering good feelings.
But to get REAL searing attraction, to get girls, to get LAID, you have to do
more. You have to be ready to step on toes, get hated on, not give a fuck,
to be a MAN. Why? Because being leading/dominating, being emotionally
unreactive and having core confidence are going to subject you to
“uncomfortable” situations.
This is where you truly cross “field tested material” land into “field hardened
man” land. So let’s devise a roadmap on how to get there. In my
experience, inner game is based on:
1.) An underlining and unanimous positive belief system that supports your
goal.
2.) A strong body of reference experiences that supports your positive
belief system.
3.) An unshakable sense of self and identity.
4.) A complete lack of fear or inhibition of risk-taking.
Of course there are the classic inner game buzzwords like “abundance
mentality” and “living in one’s own reality” but I believe those mindsets are
subsumed by the four factors above.
Let’s briefly examine these four factors before outlining a turnkey system to
pump up your inner game.
1. AN UNDERLINING AND UNANIMOUS POSITIVE BELIEF SYSTEM
THAT SUPPORTS YOUR GOAL
This can be broken into two categories: 1.) beliefs about oneself, 2.) beliefs
about society at large. For the latter, being a KJ and literature junky is
actually super helpful. Pickup and evolutionary biology literature explicitly
explain in unashamed detail what’s going on biologically, socially,
emotionally and sexually when you’re attracting a woman. By “seeing the
matrix”, you understand the beliefs that help you toward your end goal (and
hopefully that goal is having sex with a woman you are attracted to). It’s not
my job or prerogative to outline those beliefs here, but I’d recommend you
read up on the subject until you have a thorough understanding of “the
matrix” and you accept the beliefs that push you closer to your goals. If
you’re still using words like “slut” or putting any kind of judgment on the
way a woman acts, you have books to read and work to do. (More on this
later.)
Beliefs about oneself are more deep-seated and difficult to rectify, but they
too have to push you closer to your goals. Any limiting belief you have
about yourself MUST change. In your head, there should be absolutely no
reason you can think of as to why a woman would reject you. If you have a
limiting belief about your body either change it physically or accept it. Since
beliefs about oneself are deep-seated, you might need more than pickup
literature and self-help advice to change your thinking. You know who you
are. Get help.
2. A STRONG BODY OF REFERENCE EXPERIENCES
SUPPORTS YOUR POSITIVE BELIEF SYSTEM
THAT
Reading that, most people would probably assume I mean POSITIVE
reference experiences (for example, if your belief was “All girls love me”
that you have to accumulate tons of reference experiences where girls love
you.). However, that’s NOT the case. The reference experiences I’m
referring to are simply going out with your beliefs and applying them to
society at large. It doesn’t matter if people accept your beliefs or not, what
matters is YOU accept your beliefs. As long as your beliefs don’t change in
the face of negative (or positive) social feedback, you win.
Take a total newbie who’s never cold approached. Say you tell this guy “It’s
okay to approach women you don’t know.” You keep emphasizing it and
telling him until it’s tattooed in his brain. He BELIEVES it’s okay to
approach women he doesn’t know, even if he hasn’t done it. When he
does, the first handful of approaches might go awful. But it doesn’t matter.
He will find out THAT HE CAN DO IT. Period. The social feedback DOES
NOT MATTER. The separating factor is that he KNOWS (despite social
feedback) his belief DIDN’T CHANGE. From there, it will become a selffulfilling prophecy as he continues to gather reference experiences. As long
as he keeps believing it’s okay to approach strangers, he’ll keep doing it,
and eventually his belief becomes a reality.
Too many guys fail at pickup and at developing tight inner game because
they fail at this step. Boil down everything to this simple rule: “I know the
right thing to do and I do it. How do I know it’s the right thing to do?
Because I’m doing it.” NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. Adapt the mantra
“IRRELEVENT” for anything that falls outside your belief system.
3. AN UNSHAKABLE SENSE OF SELF AND IDENTITY
Identity is one of the most slippery and misapplied terms in the community.
The mainstream definition of identity is you are what you DO. If you ask
someone to identify himself, he might say, “I’m an accountant. I graduated
from Dartmouth. I’m a brother and a son. I like exercise and the outdoors. I
enjoy x, y, and z.”
But, for the purposes of this article and the way I view inner game, identity
is NOT those things. Identity is what UNDERLINES the things you DO,
because that is truly who you ARE.
So, take for example the person who says, “I’m an accountant.” Accountant
is not their identity. It’s simply a man-made label that can be taken away
tomorrow. The process that MADE someone an accountant is where their
identity is derived. The hard work, the dedication, the studying for CPA
tests, THAT’S their identity. That’s what cannot be stripped away from
someone. It makes me think of that theory that if the wealth of the world
was distributed equally that it’d be in the same hands within 5 years.
THAT’S identity. People who are simply given money (i.e. people who win
the lottery) have the label “wealthy” but don’t have the IDENTITY to back it
up. That’s why they end up squandering all the money in a very short
amount of time.
Understanding your identity builds on the first two inner game factors:
beliefs and reference experiences. I’ll go over specific ways to understand
and build your identity later, but for now just understand the concept:
You seed a belief > You water that seed with reference
experiences > You grow an identity
In less metaphorical terms:
You believe you’re attractive to women > You acquire
reference experiences that reinforce that belief > That belief
becomes a part of your identity
Your identity would exist regardless of language, society, time, whatever. If
we suddenly woke up in the Stone Age, who would you be? That’s who you
REALLY are under all the societal pretenses and labels.
4. A COMPLETE LACK OF FEAR OR INHIBITION OF RISK-TAKING
Just as the last three inner game factors built on each other, the lack of
fear and being a risk-taker is an outgrowth of a strong identity (which is an
outgrowth of a positive belief system reinforced by reference experiences).
People with strong identities are the people who lack fear, who venture into
the unknown, who take risks with little regard for their ego or the way
they’re perceived by others.
While this is the pinnacle of inner game and probably the ultimate goal of
learning pickup, it directly relates back to the first factor of attraction: value
giving. To be a TRUE value giver – and not a button pushing Entertainer
Man – one must develop himself to this level of inner game.
For most (myself definitely falling into this category), we’ve experienced
this “state” during our most on nights. Whether you call it “being in the
zone”, “being in state”, or my personal favorite “NIMBUS”, there are nights
when an internal CLICK goes off inside and we get that glimpse of selfawareness where we don’t just know – we actually FEEL – our value and it
radiates off us. In this state we’ll take the biggest risks and reap the
greatest rewards. THESE ARE THE NIGHTS LEGENDS ARE MADE. For
the best pick-up instructors, they live their lives perpetually in this state.
Again, I use the term “risk-taking” in a context specific to my view of inner
game, and it shouldn’t be confused with the way it’s defined by society at
large. In this context, risk-taking and complete lack of fear means being
completely and utterly disconnected from your ego. This is a different type
of fear than fearing for your safety. “Ego fear” is an artificial fear instilled
into us by society. It certainly has its place and it’s not necessarily a bad
thing. It keeps things running in an orderly fashion. There can only be one
boss, one AMOG. There’s no term for AMsOG (Alpha Males Of the Group).
Fear and inhibitions put everyone in their place and set the bar for heroism
high.
To overcome that fear, you have to be a super tight dude. Your shit has to
be in order. From there, everything flows. The four factors of attraction
aren’t points you’re trying to “hit”, they’ll simply byproducts of how you live
your life. Of course you’re going to offer value, dominate the group,
escalate, remain unreactive and shine with core confidence. How could you
not? Anything less would be artificial and not you.
With the four factors defined, let’s move on to a turnkey system for
perpetually reaching this level of inner game.
TURNKEY SYSTEM FOR INNER GAME DEVELOPMENT
As we already outlined, the four factors of female to male attraction derive
from the combination of the four factors of tight inner game. Furthermore,
the four factors of tight inner game interlock like a set of nesting dolls.
To rehash: strong beliefs backed by reference experiences gives you an
iron-strong sense of identity which alleviates you from (ego) fear and
unlocks your potential for social risk taking. When you’re a social risk taker
you hit the four factors of female to male attraction with little thought to
what you’re actually doing or saying. Attraction is simply not a choice.
Cool.
Step 1: How to get AN UNDERLINING AND UNANIMOUS POSITIVE
BELIEF SYSTEM THAT SUPPORTS YOUR GOAL
So, to begin, we have to cultivate strong beliefs. This is the “KJ stage”
where your work is done away from the field. Here’s what you do:
1.) You buy a notebook
2.) You write on the front page:
THOUGHTS/REFLECTIONS/EXPERIENCES
3.) You write on the last page: GOALS/BELIEFS/AFFIRMATIONS
4.) You begin writing on the last page
5.) Write pages on EXACTLY how you see an attractive male (keep the
four factors of F2M attraction in mind). Describe EVERY detail
6.) Write your description of your IDEAL woman. Describe EVERY detail
7.) You write your goals in EXPLICIT detail
8.) You construct a belief system that will actualize your goals. WRITE
OUT EVERY BELIEF NECESSARY. Keep in mind both beliefs about
society AND yourself
9.) Turn your beliefs into a list of affirmations (type them out later and put
them in your wallet or other place for quick reference)
If done correctly, you now have THE VISION. You’re now a man who 1.)
knows what he wants, 2.) knows what he has to become to get what he
wants, 3.) has a belief system in place that will actualize what he wants and
who he is going to become.
* If you’re unsure what creates attraction (and you should know down to the
most minute detail) or have limiting beliefs about society and/or women
(this step requires you be EXTREMELY honest with yourself), I’d suggest
reading up on the subject as I already mentioned.
Step 1: CHECK!
Step 2: How to get A STRONG BODY OF REFERENCE EXPERIENCES
THAT SUPPORT YOUR POSITIVE BELIEF SYSTEM
Here’s the hard part. Here’s the part where most men fail. Here’s the part
where self-deception comes in. Here’s the part that separates the MEN
getting it done from the boys who post about number closes on lair forums.
Here’s the part where I’m at along with probably 99 percent of other guys in
the community. Here’s the part that requires you to look cold fear in the
face for hours on end and not flinch.
Here’s where you must gather reference experiences to support your
beliefs.
Most of you probably have already done this to some extent. Some of you
have pushed your comfort zone and learned to talk to strangers, asked for
phone numbers, maybe even gone for quick make outs or same night pulls.
That’s awesome. But I’ll bet you also have fears you’re not confronting. I
know I’m guilty of this. I’ll bet you KNOW there’s something YOU KNOW
YOU SHOULD BE DOING, yet the thought alone sends fear echoing
through your body. You don’t need to confront this fear. You can probably
get laid and never have to face it. Or maybe the local lair has deified you
already, why show them you’re a mere mortal by admitting fear? Why even
admit it to yourself?
BECAUSE YOU’LL NEVER ACHIEVE TRUE SUCCESS IN PICKUP IF
YOU DON’T CONFRONT YOUR FEARS.
For me, I realized this fear is going out alone. For other guys, I’ve seen fear
of escalation, fear of going to the SNL pull, fear of mixed sets, fear of
throwing in conversational sexual spikes, fear of day approaches, fear of
ruining a “nice” interaction by introducing a sexual overtone…plus a
bazillion other fears I don’t need to list. I didn’t even have to write those
examples. Deep down you know what your fears are. If you don’t, you’re in
self-denial and should go back to step 1. If you’re honest with yourself,
keep reading. Here are your steps:
1.) You write your fears in the back of your notebook
2.) You write what you think the underlining cause of each fear is (for
example, in my case, my fear of going out alone is not simply I’m afraid of
going out into social situations solo. Maybe it’s because I depend on other
people to pump my state. Maybe it’s because I want validation from my
friends. Maybe it’s because my ego depends on hanging out with “cool
people” to allow me to feel cool. Maybe it’s 8 or 9 other reasons…but you
get the point).
3.) HONESTLY assess each of these underlining reasons for your fear and
come up with solutions you can apply EVERYDAY to remedy them (for
example, if I think that my fear may be related to wanting people’s
validation, I have to set as goals to stop talking about my accomplishments
and pickup successes; stop checking to see if people are watching when I
approach girls, etc.)
4.) Set up a regimen to confront your fear DIRECTLY. Systems include the
number of days/hours you will spend a week confronting your fear along
with the period of time you will allot (i.e. number of weeks/months). So for
example, I am going to start going out 3 times a week for 2 hours a night
for 3 months to confront my fear of going out alone.
5.) You stick to your system religiously and do not miss a single day, hour
or approach.
6.) You write your experiences in the front of your notebook.
As I said, this is the most difficult step in developing your inner game. This
is truly where you have to do “the reps” to make it happen. This takes an
incredible amount of courage, effort and self-discipline to accomplish. The
rewards are complete social freedom and sexual abundance, but, as some
very wise RSD poster once wrote: You pay for it with the price of your ego.
The risk/reward payoff is almost equal.
When you finish your regimen there should be no social fear left in your
body. This is where you truly no longer give a fuck and have passed the
complete indifference threshold. If there’s still fear left in your body after
this, restart the process over again.
Step 2: Check! Your inner game is now dialed, tight.
And that’s it. In two steps, become the man. However, point 4 and 5 of
Step 2 are probably the difficult things you will ever have to do. Survive
your regimen, and you will BECOME the man you wrote about in the back
pages of your notebook.
The blueprint of an attractive man is embedded in all of us. Armed with the
body of pickup literature and your notebook, there’s no reason why you
can’t be the boss lord of the universe. Unlearning the bullshit that’s been
programmed into your brain is what inner game is really all about. To
combat the decades of social conditioning paired with the limiting belief
system of the world weighing on your psyche, only a gargantuan effort can
effect a change.
You already understand and accept this. I know this because you’re still
reading.
But now it’s your turn. As I said in the first paragraph: To make sense of
your “inner game”, start by writing. Get the notebook. Fill its pages. Chisel
your own fate. Be honest with yourself. Become whom you're meant to be.
Become a legend. Believe.
The clichéd way to end this article would be to say “good luck!” But this is
beyond the realm of luck. Luck is a word invented by the weak. By people
who would never read this article. People who would never have the balls
to even consider what you’re going to do.
So from one man to another, I say “SUCCEED.”
At all costs, succeed. SUCCEED.
Managing Limiting Beliefs
By Decibel
Limiting beliefs are negative thoughts you have in your mind which stop
you from achieving your personal best. Things like 'I'm ugly' or 'that girl's
too hot for me' or 'no girl will want to drive back to my house.' To me, there
are two ways of reigning in limiting beliefs.
1. Try to prove your limiting belief is wrong. So let's say I think it would be
inappropriate to bite a girl on the neck when I hug her. My limiting belief
would tell me the girl would get upset. So I bite 10 girls, and surprisingly 10
girls are turned on by it. So I have, through field testing, dashed that belief.
The same can be done with social pressure issues. If you go into a quiet
bar and start singing at the top of your lungs, and nobody cares, you'll
eventually realize that people just don't give a fuck. Or if you go out looking
like a mess (which I often do) and are still able to get attraction, you'll
realize that looks don't matter that much. Et cetera.
2. Just assume that anything is possible, and then try to disprove this.
Though solution 1 has its merits, the problem is, now you have to disprove
EACH and EVERY limiting belief. So you may have a check list that says:
women don't talk to strangers, women don't like strangers touching them
immediately, people think I'm ugly, etc. But you have to go down this
potentially infinite checklist and cross each belief off. That can take an
eternity. When you just assume that anything is possible, you're practically
done. I can go out looking like shit, and pull a 10. OF COURSE I can. If this
gets disproven, then so be it. But solution 2 is a lot less work.
So I recommend you simply make positive assumptions about everything.
Assume you've got level 10 game. Assume every girl you talk to wants to
sleep with you. Assume you are of high value. Then see if the world proves
you otherwise.
“Lots of guys find it easy to escalate with a 6, but will
freeze up around 9s and 10s. Going kino on an ug is
easy; it's like throwing gruel at swine. Nut up and start
fondling those turbos.”
Decibel
Four Phases of Value
By The Sheriff
There is a lot of discussion on what exactly gives a guy true value or "inner
game." I have given this some thought and have come up with four phases
that one must pass through in order to build the kind of value we can use to
attract women. I believe that all of these are important and that each one
must be accomplished before the next becomes possible.
Phase 1: Basic Self Esteem
Phase one is about repairing and building our basic self-esteem. Many of
us have suffered harm to our self-esteem that makes it difficult for us to
have a good social life. The first step is to take a good hard look at our lives
and determine what caused this and what it takes to repair it. For many,
this might be a chemical issue such as bipolar disorder or it may be a result
of childhood abuse. This may require anything from reading self-help books
to medication, professional counselling and therapy. Whatever it takes, do
it. You will be glad you did and you simply can not move on to phase two
until you fix this aspect of your life.
Phase 2: Developing an Attractive Persona
In phase two you will be building on what you did in phase one by
improving the way in which you interact with others. Emphasis here is on
finding a style and a disposition that fits you and is attractive to others.
People who have been lucky enough to grow up unencumbered typically
do this during their childhood and teen years, reaching a sense of who they
are and the image they want to portray in early adulthood. Chances are, if
you are reading this you weren’t one of those people and you are doing it a
little later - better late than never. Develop a core personality and your
avatar. Also, recognize that many things practiced by PUAs can be
incorporated here. These include use of good body language, being nonreactive, etc. This also includes adopting the traits of a high value guy such
as concern for one’s appearance and getting your life in order. Phase two
is about perfecting your product.
Phase 3: Becoming Socially Accomplished
In phases one and two you have conquered your inner demons, developed
a core personality, put your life and appearance in order and chosen an
avatar. You are now ready to begin learning the skills necessary to make
friends and be liked by others. Here you will learn to be socially savvy and
affable. I can not emphasize enough just how important this phase is.
Humans are advanced social creatures and the very core of “survival
value” deals with where you stand on the social ladder. This is the single
most important quality in female-to-male attraction. Everything else comes
in a distant second. Also, having friends is important and will enrich your
life in many ways including reinforcing the things you accomplished in
phase one. You don’t necessarily need dozens of friends but everyone
should have at least one or two true close friends. Relationships of this kind
are the very essence of life. Also, most people have two types of friends:
true friends and acquaintances (or “party friends”). Party friends are of
course people with whom we socialize but are not truly close. Some
unfortunate souls have none of the former and many of the latter. Although
this may seem glamorous, it’s a shallow existence and nothing to which
one should aspire.
Realize also that most of the techniques used in PU can and should be
employed here. Shakespeare said that the entire world is a stage and we
are all actors upon it playing a roll. Jung wrote that we all have two faces,
one that we show only to ourselves and another (persona) that we show to
the world. This is important to understand. People like people who make
them feel good about themselves and compliment their value by bringing
value into the relationship. Things such as non-reactivity, good body
language, knowing proper social etiquette, carrying one’s weight within the
group and serving to enhance the overall image of the group are things you
must offer if you expect to become an asset to a given group. Nobody
wants to align themselves with someone who is a liability to their own
value. You must learn to be an asset to others and not a liability.
Phase 4: Demonstrating Your Value
In phase four, you will begin practicing techniques designed to attract
women. Largely, what this consists of is demonstrating to her that you are
accomplished in everything discussed in phase three. If you have
accomplished the things in phase three this will be obvious to her based on
your social proof. Mystery has been recently quoted as saying that social
proof is 80% of pick-up. I think he underestimated its importance. Social
proof is much more than just showing up with a hot girl. Numerous studies
have shown that people use mental shortcuts in many situations and
among the most common is the tendency to rely on popular opinion.
Women nearly always choose a mate based on social proof more than any
other factor. Read the Mystery Method for more on this.
Before entering phase four it is imperative that you complete phases one
through three. Without these, you will not appear congruent and you will
lack the necessary social proof that is so central to pick-up. Remember,
everything from this point on is essentially intended to prove that you have
the value you established in phases one through three. If, and only if, you
have mastered these phases, you will have true value and you will have the
wherewithal to demonstrate it to women. You can not skip any of these
phases and you can not just declare to yourself that you have value
because you believe it. There is no magic pixie dust that gives you value.
Value is earned through self-exploration, self-improvement and learning
good social skills. If you try to skip any of these steps you will likely appear
incongruent. You will look like a low value guy dressed like a social misfit
who is trying to score women with a bunch of cheesy material gleaned from
the internet.
Chapter Twenty
Attire
How you dress is an extremely important part of your passive value.
Women will judge you quite often even before you open them. Peacock
theory says for you to stand out from the crowd. Though for some this is
good advice, peacocking doesn't work for everyone and sometimes makes
you look ridiculous. Think about it. Is your peacocking making your target
have second thoughts about wanting to be seen out in public with you?
The following is adapted from Russell Smith's book, Men's Style: The
Thinking Man's Guide to Dress.
Consider your wardrobe a way to beautify the world. How you present
yourself can make the world a more pleasant place to live in. You want
your attire and accessories to be an extension of your personality, though
should always be appropriate for the venue. Being under- or over-dressed
may sometimes be a DLV.
Shoes. Some consider your shoes to be the most important element of
your ensemble. Rules are strict regarding formal situations, much less so in
informal venues. However, certain high-end clubs and bars won't allow you
to enter if your shoeware is not dressy enough, so know their policy in
advance.
Elevated shoes can add some height to you. Though potentially obvious, 3
inch platform shoes can be stylish and comfortable. An example is
Creepers. Less comfortable but more subtle are shoes that elevate only the
heel, and so are concealed within the shoe. An example of these is made
by Toto, sold online.
Dress pants. Though pleats may improve the appearance of a man with a
gut, try to avoid them if possible. Avoid baggy trousers. At the ankle, the
trouser may be wide in which case it should break, or narrower in which
case it should just kiss the top of the shoe. A break means there is just a
hint of a fold in the pants leg above the shoe. You don't want a pronounced
fold. If you are going for a break, the back of the pant should be 2 ½ cm
from the floor (about an inch). If you have a narrower pant leg, the leg
should be much shorter. If going to the tailor, make sure they mark each
leg, not just one. Stand as you would normally stand, slightly relaxed with
the belt cinched comfortably.
You can go with a cuff, or not. Get a sense of what is fashionable currently
by checking out upscale stores. If you are short, avoid wide cuffs.
Dress shirts. If you are wearing a jacket, the shirt should extend 1 cm
above the jacket collar and 1 cm past the sleeve ends. If you button the
sleeves, they should be snug enough not pull past the hands. You may
need to tailor the sleeves to be the right length. Both the shirt and jacket
shoulders should be perfect widths; the seam needs to rest at about the top
outer edge of your shoulder.
Ply and thread count refer to the quality of fabric. Two-ply is the best.
Thread count can vary a lot, but the higher the better. Fine shirts may be as
high as 220.
Stays are the little plastic sticks in the collar points. You want them to be
removable. Never wear your shirt without stays in. Some collars can be
buttoned to the shirt; these are extremely casual and probably should be
avoided altogether.
Casual. There are some basic principles to adhere to when dressing
casual. Contrast between your top and bottom clothes is ideal: baggy
top/tight jeans or tight T-shirt/baggy pants; dark blue top with light gray
pants. T-shirts can be matched with casual or more upscale attire such as
sports coats. T-shirts with corporate names and logos should be avoided in
favor of plain shirts or those with kitschy designs.
Chapter Twenty-One
Bibliography and Suggested Readings
The Game, by Neil Strauss (aka Style)
Mind of Mystery, by Mystery, Lovedrop and Matador (video)
The Mystery Method or The Venusian Arts Handbook, by Mystery
The Layguide, by Tony Clink
Interaction Ritual, by Erving Goffman
The Red Queen, by Matt Ridley
The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle
NLP: The New Technology of Achievement, by Steve Andreas and Charles
Faulkner. A review by dB can be found here.
Comedy Writing Secrets Revealed, by Mel Helitzer
Palm Reading for Beginners, by Richard Webster
The Definitive Book of Body Language, by Barbara and Allan Pease
Double Your Dating, by David De Angelo
Real World Seduction, by Swinggcat
The Art of Approaching, by Thundercat
Art of Seduction, by Robert Greene
Intro to Seductive Reasoning 101, by Johnny Soporno (video)
Get the Girl! Infield Exposed, by Mehow (video)
Tradecraft: The Art and Science of Cold Reading
Completely Cold, by Kenton Knepper and J. Tank
My Secret Garden, by Nancy Friday
Annihilation Method, by Style (video)
The Underground Dating Seminar, by Brad P (audio)
RSD Blueprint De-coded, by Tyler Durden (video)
The Jeffy Show, by Jeffy (video)
Foundations, by Tyler Durden (video)
Transformations, by RSD (video)
Revelations, by Lovedrop
The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida
Give Women Wild Screaming Orgasms, by David Shade
I♥Female Orgasm, by Marshall Miller and Dorian Solot
How to Be a Great Lover, by Lou Paget
How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure, by Lou Paget
Squirters 2, by Seymore Butts (video)
The G Spot, by A. Ladas, B. Whipple and J. Perry
The Lowdown on Going Down, by Marcy Michaels
Men's Style, by Russell Smith
Mastery, by George Leonard
The Female Brain, by Louann Brizendine, MD
What Every Body is Saying, by Joe Navarro
The following films, as reviewed by dB, are pertinent to seduction:
9 ½ Weeks
9 ½ Weeks is a film you watch differently as an AFC, versus a PUA who
understands female psychology and seduction, and as a woman (I would
suppose). The movie (1986) was directed by Adrian Lyne who made
Flashdance, from a book clearly written by a woman. It has some of those
same 1980s elements like lighting and music which were in style at the
time, but now are a bit cringe-inducing. Try to forgive this.
I'm not giving away any spoilers when I say the title implies this love affair
is finite. We can dissect what's going on in each participant's mind, and
figure out why this relationship did not last in spite of the intense feelings.
This helps us understand the game in general.
From her perspective:
Kim Basinger plays Elizabeth, a woman who works in an art gallery. She is
passionate about art, and we can conclude is passionate about romance,
though hasn't met a man who stirs her feelings satisfactorily. Then she
meets Mickey Rourke's character John. John knows what she wants
sexually. In fact, he knows better than she does. From their initial
encounter, he hits all her buttons, puts her through the proverbial emotional
roller coaster. He does this with such power and authority that she ends up
dazed by it.
He flirts with the 'Provider' role often, but never enough to make her feel
secure. He pushes this the other way as well, literally to the point of her
feeling endangered, creeped out but still curious. He piques her every
emotion, and in one memorable scene he keeps her blindfolded and feeds
her a shopping list of foods (and yes, even cough syrup).
But throughout all this, he's not sadistically toying with her. He's obviously
partaking in this roller coaster ride and enjoying every moment. He's
'playing her' in a sense, but it comes from a thrill of spiking these emotions,
never as a spectator.
When he brings in another woman, we realize it's because again he wants
her to experience these emotions as much as he does. But she doesn't see
this.
From her standpoint, the relationship fails because of her own insecurities.
She often gets jealous without reason, and finally at his bringing in another
woman. She tries to lash out at him by kissing another man. She doesn't
understand his motives, misinterprets this act as his selfishness, which
couldn't be farther from the truth. Her jealousy and insecurity blind her, and
she breaks it off.
Once again, John knows what she wants, but she doesn't appreciate this.
From his perspective:
This is what happens when you go from attraction to seduction and skip
comfort. When it's too late, he tries to inject comfort and rapport into the
relationship. But by then, there is a lack of security and trust. She was so
overwhelmed by the seduction that she let this slide.
He hasn't genuinely expressed his love for her, though we the audience
can feel it. He holds to his dominating frame, and in the end this is to his
own detriment. His frame tells him to stay firm, let her come running back.
But were he to break this frame and chase, he may be able to salvage the
relationship.
We are taught as PUAs to maintain authority, be unapologetic about our
desires, pull her kicking and screaming into our frame because that is what
she wants. And to a large extent, this is the right thing to do. But skipping
comfort is a huge miscalibration, and he ends up paying the price.
Here is Roger Ebert's thoughtful review.
Eyes Wide Shut
Kubrick's last film was not widely appreciated by the general movie-going
public, but it is, besides a great film, a good peek at what goes on in the
mind of women.
In My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday, we learned that women routinely
have shocking sexual fantasies they're too ashamed of to tell even their
partners. Nicole Kidman's character Alice is one such woman, who tells her
husband Bill (Tom Cruise) her dream of being fucked by countless
strangers, and another fantasy in which she would have given up on
everything in her life to have had one night with an anonymous sailor in a
hotel.
Bill doesn't understand women, let alone his wife. Had he read Friday's
book, he'd understand how common it is for women to have these perverse
sexual fantasies. Had he read books like The Red Queen and Sperm
Wars, he'd understand how inexplicably hard-wired it is for a woman to
seek the 'Lover' of high value even when she is being well-satisfied in every
other way by the 'Provider.' Her own reaction to her dream is a combination
of sadness towards her helpless Provider, mixed with scorn and
excitement; in the original screenplay Alice envisions Bill actually nailed to
a cross as she laughs at him.
The moment Alice lays eyes on the sailor who briefly passes her in the hall,
something primitive is triggered in her. It's that trigger that PUAs seek to
find during their seduction, lest they be categorized as the Provider. We
understand how inevitable this desire is for women, so her response is
really no surprise to us.
When Bill has his eyes opened by Alice's admission, he begins to see how
strong the female sexual drive is. It had been all around him though to this
point he'd been blind to it. Suddenly, he realizes and takes very seriously
how driven women are, no matter their age or circumstance. Some use sex
for power or income, some for escape, others for the sheer joy of it. While
Bill had shrugged off these advances, he now sees it's no laughing matter.
In the end, Alice gives Bill a stern warning. To remain satisfied, she
requires more than a Provider. She needs a Lover. She needs to be
'fucked.'
Fight Club
Tyler Durden took his name from the Brad Pitt character in this film
because so much of its philosophy resonated with him. But TD had no idea
at the time just how strongly Fight Club reflected the PU community.
If you haven't seen it, I won't give away any spoilers. If you had seen it
when it was released, it's time for you to rent it again.
And as you watch it, think of the AFC/PUA relationship, and how AFCs turn
to the community for guidance, blindly accepting its principles. Like the
film's conformist nameless central character (Ed Norton), AFCs realize they
must rid themselves of social programming, accept 'you're not your fucking
khakis,' take on a new identity.
The film is saturated with great lines (maybe some of the best in film
history), but one that is so meaningful: 'Self-improvement is masturbation.
Now, self-destruction...'
Watch and listen carefully. Notice the commonalities, intentional or not.
Project Mayhem becomes Project Hollywood, both with the same exploding
demise. The secrecy of fight club, the secrecy of the community. AFCs
abandoning society's shackles only to adopt a new religion like obedient
'space monkeys' under the spell of some charismatic guru; these space
monkeys run around on missions and don't use their real names (sound
familiar?). Letting go of the steering wheel means getting out of your head.
Getting in fights has the same motive as fucking, stripping down to the bare
essence of what it means to be a man. Courtney Love, who was featured in
The Game, was also considered to play the role of Marla. And most
importantly, you can ultimately do away with the PUA persona and allow
your true inner self to be loved.
Some classic lines:
God Damn! We just had a near-life experience, fellas. (after the car wreck)
This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.
My God. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.
We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual
war... our Great Depression is our lives.
It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank.
You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're
not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
The first rule of Fight Club is - you do not talk about Fight Club. The second
rule of Fight Club is - you DO NOT talk about Fight Club.
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
After fighting, everything else in your life got the volume turned down.
I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't
screw to save its species.
A condom is the glass slipper for our generation. You slip one on when you
meet a stranger. You dance all night, and then you throw it away. The
condom, I mean, not the stranger.
El Topo
Alejandro Jodorowsky wrote, scored, starred in and directed this eccentric
surreal film in 1970, and it remains a legendary cult. Each shot is loaded
with bizarre, grotesque, symbolic and beautiful images, many too disturbing
to watch.
The initial premise of the story involves a bearded man in black, El Topo,
who is on a mission to destroy the four great master gunfighters in the
desert. When he achieves this, he will win the woman he desires. The
second part of the film is a Christian allegory. Along the way, we’re taught
lessons applicable to pick-up.
Lesson one. The man in black comes across a brick tower, inside which
lives a thin man. This master gunslinger claims he never resists bullets,
and so they pass through him. He is accompanied by a legless man who
rides on the back of an armless man. This duo represents symbiosis, which
will be again explored in lesson two. The legless man shoots the
gunslinger, and the bullet indeed passes through him.
What we learn. Resistance leads to failure. Do not resist. Let challenges
pass through you and then proceed to take the necessary action. Whether
these are token objections, shit tests or bullets, do not be phased. El Topo
must cheat to win this duel, and we will learn that in lesson two you must
not cheat. Similarly, we use routines to hide behind when we first get into
the game, but ultimately we must be direct and genuine to truly make
progress.
Lesson two. The next master is accompanied by a woman. This man has
trained himself to be both powerfully strong, but also soft and precise. He
demonstrates his precision with his hands and his gun. This dichotomy will
be revisited later through an image of the cactus, which is hard and sharp
on the outside but soft and sensual on the inside. The master admits he
can only survive because the woman assists him. It is better to have
someone watching your back, than going it alone.
What we learn. Always seek balance and symbiosis. Woman is man’s
polar opposite but also his other half. Though she is everything he is not,
she is necessary to complete him. When she is injured, he dies. You will
never be complete until you are loved. Though El Topo is often called a
misogynistic film, this message emphasizes Jodorowsky’s honor of women.
Lesson three. El Topo comes upon a pen full of rabbits. He enters and
plays his pipe while the master in white plays a stringed instrument. They
get to know each other through music, that is, nonverbally. The white
rabbits have been dying since El Topo has been approaching. The master
tells him not to aim for the head but for the heart when he shoots. To
demonstrate, the man in white shoots El Topo in the heart, but fails to kill
him.
What we learn. When interacting with women, shoot for the heart and not
the head. A corrupt mind however can take advantage of and destroy a
pure heart.
Lesson four. The final gunslinger is armed only with a butterfly net, which
deflects all bullets back at El Topo. He cannot be killed, and worse, he
doesn’t care if he is killed. El Topo cannot defeat this final gunslinger, and
upset, he runs back through all the burial spots of the prior gunslingers and
destroys them. But even after all four masters are dead, the man in black is
not content. He speaks and poses as if he is Christ on the cross. The
outcasts of the world – the deformed and retarded children of incest –
come to his body and carry him away. Thus begins the Christian allegory
part of the film. El Topo began this journey with a small naked boy who he
encouraged to bury remnants of his childhood in the sand. He then
abandoned this boy to pursue the woman. In the end when he is rejected
by the woman, El Topo embraces the innocents. He thus comes full circle.
What we learn. Killing your foes is an empty chore without salvation and
enlightenment. Pulling hot girls can be similarly meaningless without
developing your inner game. Success requires both meeting your outer
goals and improving your self. Don’t reject what is childlike about you in
favor of women; accept your youthful, innocent side.
Lesson five. El Topo has fallen asleep in a cave, where the children of
incest have turned him into an idol. He promises to dig a tunnel from the
town to the cave so that they can be free. He is shaved of his hair and
leaves the cave.
What we learn. Rebirth into a person of higher value means allowing your
old self to die and be transformed.
Lesson six. The man in black visits the town posing as a beggar riding in
on a donkey. He realizes the town is full of sinners, but digs the tunnel. In
spite of all the resistance and obstacles, he persists and frees the outcasts.
What we learn. Whatever your mission in life is, pursue it, undeterred by
hardships you confront.
Appendix One
A Crash Course to Learning Pick Up
The following suggested agenda is intended to help instructors provide a
learning framework to help teach aspiring PUAs. This course focuses on
night/bar game. Between each lesson there is a one- to two-week period in
which the student applies the prior principles by solo sarging or taking a
wing in field. While bootcamps that occur over a few days can be helpful in
initiating a student to these techniques, evolution out of the long-held AFC
mode takes weeks, and therefore instruction is most effective if it is
presented in short lessons over a longer time period.
If a student will be taking a wing into the field, each person should
compose a list of positive accomplishments and values which can be used
for accomplishment intros. The student should be able to rave about their
wing in a way that DHVs without bragging, and which would be most
appealing to the set. For example, if the set has nurses and the wing is a
doctor, you may wish to hit that AI. If the set has artists and wing is a
musician, you may wish to instead use that aspect of the AI.
Before the night’s sarge, the instructor will review any sticking points or
questions the student may have up to this point. Comfort routines aren't
covered in this introductory course because many AFCs are good at
comfort – so good in fact that they've made a career out of LJBFing.
Getting skilled at comfort routines is reserved for a more advanced course.
1 Introductory seminar/lesson. Review the M3 model, frame control and
peacocking.
Homework assignment: Read the MM and this field guide. Internalize the
concept of being alpha and controlling the frame. Collect peacocking that
fits the identity you wish to project.
2 In-field lesson one. Overcoming approach anxiety, learning openers.
Homework assignment: Approach as many HBs as possible over the next
two weeks. Go to malls and open all the HB hired guns, asking for advice
on peacocking accessories. Go up to random HBs in the mall or on the
street and open using some of the openers presented. Try both situational
and opinion openers. Go to a bar and run openers on as many sets as you
can.
3 In-field lesson two. Routines.
Homework assignment: Open and run routines on as many sets as you
can. Sit down and list all the major events in your life or moments when you
made epiphanies, and try to pull out stories you may be able to embellish
upon.
4 In-field lesson three. DHV, kino, negs.
Homework assignment: Take the stories you developed from the last
assignment and spike them with DHV's. Start incorporating kino into your
approaches. Get the feel for negging without insulting. Become perceptive
to IOIs and IOD's.
5 In-field lesson four. Moving within a venue, isolating, locking in,
qualifying.
Homework assignment: Run game in various venues and incorporate
isolating the target, locking in to sets, moving your target within a venue,
and qualifying. Understand the fundamentals of A3 and compliance testing.
6 In-field lesson five.
timebridge/bouncing.
Body
language,
#-closing,
more
kino,
Homework: Escalate kino through compliance testing. Understand how to
project and interpret body language; review the chapter on BL and spend
time in social gatherings observing how others interact. Start collecting #s.
Attempt to set up day 2s or bounce to a new venue.
Appendix Two
Helping Women Get Out of Their Own Way
BangBang has created a guide to help women realize that they often set up
'roadblocks' to seduction. Examples include the bitch shield and LMR.
When a woman is aware that she is preventing or delaying the seduction
and can alter her behavior for her own good, the PUA's job becomes much
easier. BangBang instructs women how to recognize these misbehaviors.
As PUAs, we aspire to excel in social situations, to be acutely aware of
ourselves and our surroundings, everything from Body Language (BL) to
vocal tonality and volume. It is this awareness that helps us calibrate our
game to achieve seduction. But think back for a moment to your days as an
AFC, to how often you were blown out by your own lack of BL control, or by
your AFCish behaviors. How often did you project an overly needy, try-hard
vibe without even realizing it? We’ve all been there. It should therefore
come as no surprise that many women are likewise guilty of shooting
themselves in their own foot when it comes to being seduced by a highvalue man.
“A woman can't even appreciate a man's inner qualities if
she's throwing up shields and LMR, not approaching, not
pinging IOIs, not pushing off low value men...”
Decibel
What if, as PUAs, we were to use our unique social skill set and knowledge
to help these women get out of their own way and be better at attracting
high value men? Now do not misunderstand me, there is a fair amount of
enlightened self-interest at work here. By teaching women how to
recognize their mistakes and how to enable their seduction by desirable
men, we will in fact be making our work easier in the process.
We’ve all seen these women and have most likely sarged a fair number of
them, the beautiful girl with the “FUCK OFF” sign tacked to her
forehead...only she doesn’t know it’s there. We’ve all encountered women
whose bitch shield seems to be hyper-sensitive, making it that much more
difficult to get past and build attraction. With a little guidance, these women
can be taught how to keep their bitch shield from getting in their way and to
take down the “FUCK OFF” sign for good.
“Without even knowing it, these women are blowing their
chances with great guys because they’ve come to believe this
is how the game is played.”
Decibel
A Few Issues to Consider
1. HBs assume any guy in a bar is a loser and therefore won't seriously
connect with him.
2. HBs don't get approached enough by high value men, largely due to AA.
3. HBs get approached the wrong way (e.g. guys trying to get them drunk,
then assuming shot = obligation to have sex).
4. HBs know how to send signals they are approachable, but won't be the
aggressor and simply approach.
5. HB Approach Anxiety. As with men, it's often based on the fear of
rejection or low self-esteem.
6. HB's who are confident enough to directly approach tend to run into one
of two things: AFC's who are intimidated by how forward the girls is or
AFC's assuming that if she approached she must be easy.
7. HB's being completely unaware of what their bitch shield is, how it's
triggered and how to lower it themselves.
8. HB's unaware that shit tests are IOIs, but can be misread as IODs.
9. Most IOI's from HB's are unconsciously given; making women aware of
them so that they can send out IOIs INTENTIONALLY at the right times
would facilitate the seduction.
10. HB's are typically better at reading body language than men, but their
perceptions often do not rise to the conscious level so that women can turn
their instincts into appropriate responses/actions.
Applying the Model to Enlighten Women
A1. The PUA opens the set. HB must properly convey that the hook
point has been reached through BL and IOIs to encourage further
interaction.
► Teach her to use her BL to encourage or discourage
prolonging the interaction. Encourage by opening up towards
the potential suitor (turn to face him, mirroring, bitch shield
down, etc.) Discourage by closing off to potential suitor (turn to
her friend, be non-responsive, bitch shield up, etc.)
► Teach her to use verbal clues to encourage or discourage
prolonging the interaction. Encourage through laughter,
contribution to the conversation, not shit testing. Discourage
by being unresponsive to the conversation, IODing,
mentioning a boyfriend, etc.
A2. The PUA DHV's to elicit IOI's. HB qualifies PUA and rewards
with IOIs and compliance.
► Teach her examples of the different types of IOIs (active vs.
passive).
► Teach her the kinesthetic concept and how to escalate/ping
kino when appropriate.
A3. The PUA qualifies HB and rewards compliance with IOIs.
► Teach her how to qualify herself to the potential suitor when
she feels attraction to encourage moving into the comfort
phase. Be willing to be isolated.
► Teach her how to identify compliance tests and the
importance of complying, versus not complying when
disinterested.
The interesting thing to note is that the PUA and HB reverse roles in A2
and A3. While this may seem like common sense, something that women
do naturally and don’t need to be taught, consider this:
Women INTERNALIZE social dynamics at a very early age to the point
where they act without consciously thinking about their actions; therefore
they must LEARN these behaviors, so that they can transform their social
skill set from unconscious reactions to conscious actions.
Since most men are clueless when it comes to female psychology and
social dynamics, they must LEARN social dynamics by studying pick-up
techniques, spending time in field calibrating in order to INTERNALIZE
their actions, so that they can transform their social skill set from conscious
actions to unconscious reactions (e.g. developing frame control).
Comfort. While many AFCs are proficient at creating comfort, often
to the point of putting themselves in LJBF zone, there are roadblocks
to comfort-building. Women many times bring resentment and
disappointment from previous encounters and relationships into the
current one, hindering comfort-building by being closed-off and
untrusting. Women should recognize that their defensiveness may
be unwarranted, and understand that each new potential suitor
deserves a clean slate.
Seduction. During seduction, the main roadblock is LMR (S2).
Women instinctively resist initial sex for reasons described in the M3
chapter. Many men respond emotionally, not understanding what the
anti-slut defense or LMR are. Men may reject the woman who
resists, instead of plowing, which often is what the woman would
want. A woman should be cognizant of the fact that LMR is hardwired, and that by not giving in to it, they can sexually engage a
desirable man without unneeded frustration on the part of both
parties.
Appendix Three
On Being Funny
By Rob Judge
A couple people have been asking me to define this, so I’m going to give a
lengthy response that hopefully covers the “basics” of humor. (Side note: I
wrote for a very famous humor website before I got into PUA but never
thought “humor” was explainable…until I saw something as abstract as
“attraction” was explainable. So, in homage to the pioneers of PUA, I’ll offer
what I can on “being funny”).
First, humor is the most effective, fastest, and simplest way to offer value
and establish prizability. Ironically, it’s also (in my opinion) the most
Machiavellian social device ever (in fact, it’s SO Machiavellian people
DON’T even consider it manipulative). If someone is genuinely laughing at
your jokes, there’s no way you’ll get blown out – ever.
So, the structure of this response will follow an inverted pyramid, beginning
with the “humorous” inner game-type-stuff and then drilling down into the
specifics of humorous banter.
Frame – In my opinion, the funniest person alive is Howard Stern. But it’s
not his content or jokes that make him funny (in fact, reading transcripts
from the Howard Stern show are very NOT funny), but, instead, it’s his
delivery and attitude. The thing about Howard is he just says whatever the
fuck he feels like and never waits for a response. Sometimes you DON’T
even know if he’s joking or not. Even if his jokes bomb, he doesn’t react.
He simply says the next thing on his mind.
Conversely, look at people who are NOT funny. They’re the ones who are
constantly waiting for reactions or saying shit like, “I guess you had to be
there…” Probably the worst thing you can ever say to someone is, “I have
the BEST joke for you.” Chances are, no matter how funny the joke, it won’t
get any big laughs. Why? Because the joke teller made it obvious HE
thought the joke was hysterical, thus telegraphing his need for a reaction.
Try this exercise: Tell the same joke to two people. But to the first person,
say, “I have the FUNNIEST joke for you!” and to the second person, say, “I
heard this offensive joke the other day. I really don’t find it funny. I’ll tell
you, but don’t laugh because it’s really not a funny topic.” I guarantee the
second person will stifle a genuine laugh (because he doesn’t think you’re
looking for a reaction) whereas the first person will only give you a courtesy
laugh. (Unless of course the joke you’re telling really sucks.)
How this relates to the field: When telling a joke, DON’T wait for a reaction.
Simply say the funny line and stack or do a takeaway, For example, over
the weekend, my wing was getting blown out off the opener. As I walked by
the hostile set, I said over my shoulder, “You could’ve been a little nicer to
him. He just got molested by a FAT girl.” The girls started cracking up and
the set was back on. Is that line really so hysterical? NO! But I said it in a
way that implied I wasn’t looking for a reaction. I know this is basic stuff
and relates to frame control (living in your own reality), but it’s why so many
guys fail at being funny. If I simply wrote up a transcript of “funny lines” I
KNOW I’d have tons of guys who would go into the field, use the lines, then
complain to me that the lines “aren’t funny,” because they telegraphed they
were looking for reactions so the lines would bomb. THIS IS WHY KNOCK
KNOCK JOKES ARE RETARDED AND DEAD BABY JOKES ARE
HILARIOUS!* With “knock knock” jokes, you’re telegraphing “Hey! This is a
joke!” whereas with a “dead baby” joke, it’s so fucked up you’re NOT
supposed to laugh (so you do).
*Disclaimer: In some instances “Knock Knock” jokes can be funny as in the case
of: “Knock knock. Who’s there? Fat chicks. Fat chicks who? Who cares?!
They’re fat!” (because jokes about fat chicks are ALWAYS funny...it's a Universal
Law of the Universe) and dead baby jokes ARE NOT funny anymore because
they’re so played out, they lost their taboo and now ARE reaction-seeking.
Attitude(s) – Once you adapt a non-reaction-seeking frame, you’re ready
to try on “funny attitudes”. Unlike the underlining frame, which will ALWAYS
be non-reaction seeking, your attitude can change in different situations.
As a basic rule, the best attitude to accept is one diametrically
opposed to the one expected. So, again, to cite an example from this
weekend, some drunk hooligan/thug (complete tool) started screaming at 2
of my girl friends (for pretty much no reason) and then started screaming at
me that I’m only hanging out with them to “get my D wet” and that I’m “a
gay ass pussy”. Because the guy was so irate and barking such
uneducated babble, the “humorous” attitude to take was for me to speak
like an erudite college professor. So I looked the guy in the eye, smiled,
and said, “Wow. You’re like a Greek philosopher! You totally broke down
my secret game plan with that artfully constructed syllogism! That’s like
Aristotelian logic, bro. To cite you, since I am, in fact, one ‘gay ass pussy’
therefore I am logically trying to get ‘my D wet’ with these – what was your
term again? – ‘skank-ass bitches’. Bravo, Plato! You, my friend, are a
scholar AND a gentleman.”
While this could fall under 'sarcasm', I think “attitude” is more than simply
being ironic or flippant. To offer some examples, if a girl keeps calling you a
“playa”, it’s funny to accept a “Don Juan lover” attitude where you tell her
you write love sonnets and chisel ice sculptors of women you fall in love
with. If you and your wings are obviously established, clean-cut guys, it’s
funny to say you “met in prison” when HBs ask how you know each other. If
an AMOG is screaming how much he hates your peacocking, saying “Glad
you like it” in the most disinterested way will ALWAYS get a laugh because
it’s so unexpected. (I could keep giving examples, but think it’s better if you
consider attitudes you could assume in different situations you find yourself
in so it’s more congruent.)
Content – Even with a solid frame and the right attitude, you still need
“funny” content. I could devote an entire section to content because it’s
probably the most difficult aspect of humor to master. However, sticking to
a few guidelines will ensure you get big laughs.
1.) Pop culture references – This is probably the most important one to
internalize and will instantly transform your humor. Whenever you’re telling
a story, figure out how to make a funny pop culture reference or metaphor
and you’ll ALWAYS get a laugh. To give a stupid example: I was just
talking to my friend on the phone and explaining to him how I got black out
drunk a few days ago and woke up covered in my own vomit and somehow
climbed into my loft bed without setting up the ladder. (I know…this is
funny/embarrassing as is…) So here’s how I described it for maximum
effect: (Taking the attitude waking up like this when you’re 25 years old is a
great life accomplishment and I’m totally proud of myself): “Dude, this black
out trumps all previous career drunken black outs. Specifically, I guess
drinking an absurd amount of vodka now turns me into Spiderman because
I somehow used my Spidey senses to climb into my loft bed without using
the ladder…but it gets even better…so my last conscious memory was
getting into a cab and then I completely blacked out…but, when I woke up,
it was so freaky because I was covered in my own vomit with no ladder to
get down from my bed…dude, this shit felt like a scene from SAW…I
swear, I thought I was gonna fucking die…I was waiting for that scary little
clown to pop out of my kitchen riding that freaky little tricycle and say,
“HELLO JUDGE, WANT TO PLAY A GAME??? (In scary voice) Figuring
out how to get down from that bed made me realize how much I value
life…the Eggo waffles I ate after I got down tasted different somehow. I feel
like I have a new lease on life…”
2.) Be specific – More detail ALWAYS means more humor. Whatever detail
you can add – whether it be the color of something, the way something
looked, the brand name of something, WHATEVER – the harder people
will laugh. (This sort of ties into the pop culture references since making a
pop culture reference DOES specify and detail your story/joke). I could cite
endless examples here, but leave it up to you to figure this out. However,
just to use my “black out disaster” example, look at how much less funny
this would’ve been had I just told the story without the specifics: “Dude, this
black out trumps all previous career drunken black outs. Specifically, I
somehow climbed into my loft bed without using the ladder…but it gets
even better…so my last conscious memory was getting into a cab and then
I completely blacked out…but, when I woke up, it was so freaky because I
was covered in my own vomit with no ladder to get down from my bed… I
swear, I thought I was gonna fucking die…Figuring out how to get down
from that bed made me realize how much I value life…the breakfast I ate
after I got down tasted different somehow. I feel like I have a new lease on
life…”
3.) Blowing things out of proportion – Taking something that’s frivolous and
making a big deal out of it with a story and/or a huge extended metaphor is
funny. Again, my aforementioned example of waking up from a black out
and getting a new lease on life demonstrates this (oh, just in case you
couldn’t figure out the sarcasm, my bed is only like 9 feet off the floor so it’s
not like there was any real danger). But you can apply this concept at ANY
point in the pickup and it’ll amplify whatever you’re doing. For example, if I
call a girl a “flaya” (a female playa) because she said something I
‘misinterpreted’ as a flaya comment, that might get a chuckle or a quick,
“Nooooooo”. But I’ll get a huge BT spike if I go, “Shit, this chick is such a
flaya. I’ll bet you’re like Lil Kim, you have a bunch of manslaves that dance
around you in your rap videos and shit. Oh man, I’ll bet you make guys cry
all the time. I know your type – You’re one of those honeys getting money
playing fellas like dummies…”
(For those of you who caught that, my next point…)
4.) Quoting song lyrics in serious conversation – Always awesome. (Again,
relates to the “pop culture” reference.) If you do this with the right delivery,
you can get away with ANYTHING. Like, if a girl is getting mad at you, say,
“Here’s the thing. We started out friends. Yeah, I mean, it was cool but it
was ALL pretend.” Also, another great one (to quote again from my last
example) is, if a girl calls you out on using a pickup line, say, “Pick up line!?
No way, if I was trying to pick you up I’d ask what your interests are, who
you be with? Let’s see…what else…Things to make you smile, what
numbers to dial…”
(And her response beings me to my next point…)
5.) Making absurdly wrong assumptions – Never give a straight/honest
answer (at least not in the A phases). So, if you use one of my examples
mentioned in the last example, and the girls goes, “OMG!!! Are you quoting
Kelly Clarkson?!?!?!” You say, “What? No. That’s Shakespeare. God, didn’t
you read Much Ado About Nothing?! Do you have any culture?” This also
works great for girls with accents. If a girl has a strong Eastern European
accent (which I love “btw”), I always say, “Oh wow. Love your accent.
Lemme guess, you’re from China.”
Wording – Finally, the way you word things will enhance your humor and
eek out all the potential from your frame/attitude/content. Incorporating
funny words/phrases is simple. Aside from listening for funny words in
every day situations (i.e. floozy, abomination, atrocity), I also write down
any phrase I think is humorous. This is why reading books like "Sex, Drugs,
and Cocopuffs" is great. Finding people who understand humor will
seriously up your game and no one will ever know you're stealing phrases
from them. Using over-the-top wording is always funny. So, if a girl says
something stupid, rather than telling her, "What?!" say something like,
"That was profoundly retarded" or "That was a complete atrocity." Again, I
could list off plenty of "funny" words or phrases, but I'm confident you guys
can build up your own "funny vernacular."
Conclusion - This is tip-of-the-iceberg stuff but it's enough to get you
started and get you laughs. If you don't know how to vibe and be funny,
you'll never get laid (sorry!). But, don't worry: humor and "funniness" can be
learned so GOOD LUCK!
Appendix Four
Decibel's Day 1 Model
The model I've developed works best in low-energy bars and clubs, as
opposed to ADD dance clubs. The new guys I go out with wonder why I
hook so quickly and solidly, and it's because I exchange deep value early
on in the set. It's amazing what people will tell total strangers in a bar, but
once they do, they're Hooked. This model is quite a bit different than M3,
which continues to work on very attractive women with high self-esteem.
My model can apply to 9s and 10s, but is largely useful for 'the girl next
door,' your average 8s and under, where M3's negging and being
extremely indirect can blow you out.
For one thing, you must always spike buying temp from the beginning.
Low-energy drawn out opinion openers may not work here. You will use the
BT garnered on your approach to help hook. Attraction is unlike A2/A3 of
M3, in that you aren't necessarily showing active disinterest in the target,
though you may if she is very attractive. The standard principles of cold
approach and social dynamics (push-pull, calibration, compliance testing,
etc) all still occur in the background of your encounters as needed.
Compliance occurs early, even during your approach (e.g. Walking up to a
woman and telling her to hold your drink for a minute). It is important that
the set understand from the start that you are the center of the interaction,
are self-validated, and others are present to serve your purpose. Unlike
M3, qualification occurs early in set as well with token statements that
imply you have high standards.
Rapport-building occurs before you reach true Qualification, where you will
make unmistakable remarks that Qualify, as opposed to the vague
qualification you performed earlier in set. As with M3, go to Qualification
only once she has shown sufficient IOIs. If she fails to do so in a
reasonable amount of time, you must either go back and emphasize
attraction, or continue to get deeper into Comfort. Kino escalation will
reduce the risk of LJBF.
1. Spike buying temperature, cause confusion.
‘Hey, what’s up with all the midgets here? I’ve seen like 3 or 4 midgets?’
‘I am so never doing crack again. Never ever EVER again. HIGH FIVES!'
‘Happy birthday!’ (to the girl not wearing the birthday tiara)
Situational jokes:
Pick up a candle and say ‘what is this, a mojito?’
If your candle is blown out ‘which one of you blew out my candle? I’m
trying to have a romantic evening over here!’
Tell her some chodely guy in the corner looks like some celebrity
who doesn't look at all like him, and ask her to get his autograph
since you're too nervous.
Confuse your target. If the bar doesn't serve food enter with 'Hey, how are
the pork chops here?' Stack stack stack. Don't give her time to logically
consider responses; do make her eventually understand you're kidding. If
she returns value, you can reward her with 'OMG, FINALLY some people
with a sense of humor. I've been to 20 bars tonight and nobody out there
laughs anymore.'
2. Tease and stack.
Your usual attraction stack. Your goal is to hook the set, that is they want
you to continue talking to them. This is different from the Hook, which is the
goal of 5-7. Within this, you pursue #3 and 4:
3. Gain compliance.
This demonstrates your dominant alpha role in the relationship.
If wearing a hoody, she needs to put it on. Tease about looking like a
hobbit.
Spin her
High five
Take a sip of her drink
Touch items of her clothing/jewelry
Tell her to hold your drink for a minute
Other kino compliance tests
4. Seek qualification.
This demonstrates you have high standards and screen potential mates.
‘You like dogs, don’t you? (she says yes, you pause to process) Cool.’
‘Oh man, you’re not like one of those <xyz> people, are you?’
‘You seem like the adventurous type’ etc.
BHRR would be included in this, as it doesn't have the power of a sincere
Qualifying remark.
5. Create rapport by value-pinging and strategic vibing.
Do not interview, but go on a fact-finding mission.
Determine where she lives/grew up, what she likes to do for fun, what she
does for work, who the people are with her (waypoint). Investigate, and with
each bit of data, contribute an insight/value of your own.
Giving her value includes making her laugh, think, and feel good in some
way, validating her, touching lightly in a non-threatening way,
demonstrating appreciation for her culture, struggles and achievements.
I call this 'strategic vibing.' When a girl offers value, you can respond by:
1) DHVing, or
2) Gaining compliance, or
3) Seeking qualification.
For example, if a girl says she has a tattoo, responses of the above may
include:
1) Showing her your own tattoo and giving a story behind it that has DHV
spikes embedded.
2) Telling her to show you her tattoo, even if it's hidden under her clothes.
3) Teasing her with 'Oh, you're not one of those biker chicks, are you? Like
you ride your motorcycle around the suburbs and terrorize little kids, and
smash mailboxes with a baseball bat.' This disqualifies her and makes her
work to qualify herself, setting her in your frame.
Of course, with each of your responses, you can do some combination of
the above.
As you do the above (5-10 minutes), the target is becoming truly Hooked.
This phase creates comfort, which is not the same as Comfort (C1).
While creating rapport and doing strategic vibing, pursue #6.
6. Detect IOIs.
Stays and talks to you in an intimate fashion
Pecks, reverse kino, smiles and laughs, voluntarily qualifies, offers her
name, goes on her own fact-finding mission, provides logistical info.
Once she starts touching her hair, or if many other IOIs are present, go to
#7.
7. Sincere Qualification.
Unlike the prior vague qualifying remarks, Qualification is personalized to
your target and is a feedback on what you have discovered from #5.
Admire her positive attributes (not her looks). Reward her for showing IOIs
and attempting to qualify herself.
Use your usual A3 qualification statements.
8. Isolate if you haven’t already, and begin Comfort.
At this point you have reached the Hook, the point where the target has
exchanged enough value with you to feel very comfortable with you. At this
point, you could leave the set and she will be receptive to you reopening.
Or if she meets you again, she will remember you because of the depth of
your interaction. The Hook is unlike the hook from M3, which is merely the
point at which A1 transitions to A2 because the set is somewhat interested
in what you have to say. The Hook is much stronger an allegiance.
Mini-isolation is adequate but not ideal.
If being winged, he should position himself so your obstacle(s) aren’t
watching you game the target. This helps lower ASD.
Continue to build rapport, gain trust, escalate kino, qualify her.
Run usual comfort routines. Should last 20-30 minutes. Leave her intrigued
and wanting more.
Lead your convo into sexual territory once rapport is established, what I call
verbal kino. The combination of light kino with sexually explicit conversation
creates a great amount of tension. See the Kino chapter on this and
sexualization.
Beware: Comfort can kill a set! It is a communityism that the game is
played in comfort. However, you must calibrate and run comfort at your
own risk. Many times the best sets are based solely on high
attraction/buying temp and sexualization. So if you're finding yours sets
fizzling out or girls flaking, reconsider your use of comfort.
9. Wind down or escalate.
Seed the timebridge, converse some more, timebridge, FTC, exchange #s,
converse, eject with a hug and one last qualifying remark. Conversely, kiss
or pull.
You can go indirect and use an M3 style of gaming. Or you can show
interest immediately by having dominant kino and body language. Since
telegraphing intent and interest through physicality is an IOI, calibrate with
frequent verbal IODs. The discrepancy between physical IOIs and verbal
IODs is a form of push-pull which will cause attraction.
Watch dB explain his model.
Appendix Five
The dB Archives
The following is a chronological compilation of selected posts by Decibel.
To read his complete collection of field reports, download The Chodefest
Journals at puafieldguide.com.
5/30/08. Smiling at a Funeral
Sadly, I had to go to the funeral of an employee's mom yesterday. Funerals
help remind people to enjoy the now and be thankful for what you have.
As I walked down the line of family members, I realized as I greeted each, I
was smiling. Suddenly my logical mind said 'Hey dummy. You're at a
funeral. Stop smiling!'
I have gone about 30 years hearing people say 'You never smile.' So as
part of getting into PU I have forced myself to smile when I greet people,
and what I realized yesterday was that I have achieved unconscious
competence at this skill. Of course, social intelligence needs to override
this, but it's nice to know I've made progress with this goal.
There are 4 levels people talk about regarding skill acquisition:
1. Unconscious incompetence. You are doing things wrong and don't
realize it.
2. Conscious incompetence. You realize you're doing it wrong.
3. Conscious competence. You are doing it right, but you still have to think
about it.
4. Unconscious competence. You're doing it right, without thinking about it.
I go out and sarge nightly almost never in state, completely tired from
getting up at 6AM. Why? Because I want my pickup to be automatic. I want
to achieve unconscious competence with everything I do. Exhaustion
forces you out of your head and puts you on autopilot, and as you acquire
your skill, it embeds on a deep subconscious level.
5/31/08. Taking Newbs into the Field: AA
I've gone in field with lots of guys new to the community, and I have one
primary gripe night after night:
Whenever their AA kicks in, I hear excuses. 'I'm not gonna open her if
that's her mom.' 'That's probably her boyfriend. He'll kick my ass.' 'They're
probably waiting for their bill. What's the point?' Or when I give someone an
opener I've used 1000 times, they tell me it's not a good opener! C'mon I've
gotten day 2s by asking about pork chops and puppet shows, so I know
they work.
Of course, these are the newb's logical mind covering up for their AA. Why
add another wall between you and the set? You're afraid to open. You're
AA is too high. Ok, then say that!
Now I'm encouraging newbs just to admit it. 'Hey, my AA is too high to
open that set.' Great, that I understand and can work with.
So my advice is if you're gonna take guys in field, tell them you fully believe
in AA and how crippling it can be. If a guy can't open because of it, he
should say so. But he should never create excuses or rationalizations,
because by doing so he's heaping logical reasons on top of illogical ones,
and he isn't really confronting the real issue at hand.

6/6/08. Taking Newbs into the Field: Let's bounce
An issue I'm seeing is something akin to premature ejectulation that AFC
Adam talks about. Guys open a few sets, look around and don't see
anything else sarge-worthy, and then want to leave the venue. The next
venue may be a 15 minute drive away, but they still want to check it out.
When they get there, they're usually just as unsatisfied, but now have
wasted a bunch of time. It seems to come from a desire to 'hunt' as
opposed to 'fish' for girls. Guys starting out seek quantity of sets, not
quality, with generally no concept of endurance.
My advice has been to fight any temptation to leave a venue just because
it's a little slow. Often when a place is slow, you provide all the excitement
by being the supercool dude. So why not use this to your advantage and
befriend everyone in the place, guys and girls? And why not wait for more
people to arrive, and use the proof you've just earned to game the new
people.
My strategy has become that of working a room and then using proof to
open hotties (AFC Adam calls this metagame). I've also heard other PUGs
talk about just hanging around, out-lasting friends, and then pulling the
target. This may take hours of not actively sarging, but playing it
cool...basically becoming a part of her social circle over the course of 3-4
hours. And as TD reminds us, girls will much more willingly bang guys in
their social circle than a relative stranger.

6/12/08. Taking Newbs into the Field: The SetJacker
You're running tight game, getting her BT up, holding court...then your
newbie wing who's been a wallflower suddenly swoops in, DLVs you, and
tries to game your girl. Of course, he crashes the set and both of you get
blown out. So nobody's taking her home tonight.
It's the setjacker, the dude who's supposed to be your ally, but who is too
timid to actually open or too spazzed out to wing correctly, and just throws
himself into your set and flops around like a fish out of water, reeking of
anxiety and desperation. Or sometimes, they actually do have game and
get your chick's #.
You gotta set down the rules with these guys, but even then, sometimes
they have trouble playing fair. I've been out with a lot of newbs and
naturals. The naturals often are predatorial and are waiting for you to spike
BT just so they can come in and take her away. You don't want to bicker
with him or blow him out, so it's a tightrope. Do you AMOG him and try to
recover the set, or let this one slide and have a quiet chat with him later?
Either way, if he doesn't play by the rules...no more gaming with him.

6/17/08. Taking Newbs into the Field: Desensitizing fears
I am developing ways of getting newbs out their shell, to stop caring about
how others view them, and to react with indifference. Part of this is inspired
by NLP.
Here are a few ways I will try out these desensitizing tactics:
1. Loud noises. Clap or yell something near the newb's ear, to scare him.
Normally, he will turn suddenly or startle. But the newb needs to train
himself to react slowly. A loud clap should cause him to slowly turn his
head and not be startled.
2. Berate the newb. Similar to actual bootcamp or football practice I've
seen, and chime in here if you have experience with this. Call the newb
names like 'bitch' and 'asshole.' At first, he may feel hurt, but eventually he
needs to become immune to these put-downs.
3. Push the newb. A guy who is always centered will not lose his balance.
He will remain upright and stable. Someone who is not centered will fall
back or anticipate the push by leaning into it.
4. Dissociate. A newb gets blown out or can't approach. Have him
immediately take that moment and dissociate from it. View it in black and
white, foggy, off in the distance, then run the scene over from this POV. He
should also run the scene backwards as it really happened, vividly and
from his own POV, but super-fast.

FR: San Diego 7/3-7/5/08
As you may know, my FRs tend to be more about concepts rather than ‘I
said this, then that, then I banged her.’ So not much happened per se, but I
learned a slew and developed some new ideas. It’s a long report since it
covers 3 days, but I think it’s enlightening.
Time/Date
7/3/08-7/5/08
Location
San Diego, various bars around the Gaslamp district
Logistics
Me and Robocat (RC) visiting Adventureindustries, Dale and various local
PUAs
What went down
7/3/08
Started off at a club called Ivy, which is the equivalent of one of those loud
Hollywood dance clubs. You know the place…chicks with low self-esteem
or a grudge against men get all dolled up and hang out with each other
shutting guys down. In short, the girls aren’t there to get laid; they are
seeking validation. These are what I call ‘moving’ venues, where sets are
constantly on the go and there’s often some dude with a flashlight making
sure people don’t block traffic. In contrast there are ‘standing’ venues
where girls stand or sit and don’t do a lot of walking around. You can stop
moving sets, but remember Newton: an object in motion tends to stay in
motion. These are ADD venues, and in my experience you have to have
high passive value (be that bright shiny object) to bring these sets to a
stand-still and allow proper gaming.
This venue reminded me why Mystery developed his highly indirect game,
which I’d long ago abandoned. To game these girls, you must go extremely
indirect: open the adjacent sets, build proof, roll off into the target set but at
that only work the obstacles, disqualify, neg, FTC.
I conceived the 3 Set Rule. Go in and talk to your targets directly (using an
indirect opener if you so choose). If three sets blow you out without
hooking, recalibrate to the venue and employ strict MM.
As a last resort I developed The Boogie, which goes like this:
PUA: Haha, hey so how do you guys know each other?
HBs: IOD IOD IOD Pulls out cell phone IOD
PUA: Oh, cool. (starts to eject) Hey, btw (looks inquisitive, points to her
nose) you have a boogie (ejects).
It’s a sniper neg and should help lower her value and make her doubt her
appearance, which is her house of cards. Maybe you can reopen later,
maybe not, but at least you’ve done something to counter her IODs. Many
times they move away before you expect it, in which case just yell ‘Wait
wait wait!’ and then run The Boogie.
After 30 minutes of this nonsense, I informed my crew the Ivy was not
sarge-worthy, and wanted to bounce. We then went to J Bar, a much
mellower, sophisticated venue in a swanky hotel (generally good places to
sarge).
Opened a few sets, then one of the San Diego guys named Wrench asked
me to wing so he could reopen a 2set. I took the 7 (HB PT) and he gamed
the 8 (her cousin).
My girl was a physical therapist, and since I am in a similar line of work it
was a huge DHV. This brings up the concept that DHVs are subjective; my
career was a big selling point for this girl, but the typical party girl probably
couldn’t give a fuck. Tailor your DHVs to the target.
Kino was on from the start, but it wasn’t until I started to sexualize the
convo that the interaction made a noticeable turn. I’ll get to sexualization
later. In this case, when she commented on another girl’s legs being hot, I
turned this into an invitation for a 3-some. When girls notice how hot other
girls are, I do a positive misinterpretation that she wants me to help initiate
the 3-some. In this case, she got bashful and said ‘Oh, no no no’ and I
said, ‘Ok, not your type then? That’s cool.’ This sets the groundwork that
you’re experienced with 3-somes and if she’s interested, you can make
them happen.
This chick is into sports and fitness. When a girl says she’s athletic,
sexualization would have you say the following: ‘Ok, so you must have a
great body. Let’s have a look. Stand up…ok, let’s see the butt. Mmm,
alright, I’ll give that an 8. (if she complains about the low score, have a feel
and upgrade by 0.5) Ok, but I’m more of a tit man…let’s see…pretty good.’
That sort of thing; keep pushing the envelope and see how far she’ll qualify
her body to you, but don’t seem needy or creepy. Subcom you have high
standards and can have your pick of gorgeous women.
After that point, she was totally into me. I ran my waffle qualifier (‘So…
you’re smart, athletic, and cute…but the big question is…can you make
waffles?’) which subcoms I need a girl who not only meets my high
standards but can make me breakfast tomorrow morning after I go home
with her tonight. She qualified the living crap out of this, going on about her
new Belgian waffle maker.
Signs that a sarge is going well: she insists on giving you her number, and
she can’t stop touching your butt. If you’ve escalated and sexualized
correctly, women will be throwing themselves at you. You might not pull,
but she’ll probably respond for a day 2. You always want her chasing you
when you leave her, giving her just enough to remain intrigued sexually.
HB PT left because her cousin was getting bored with Wrench and wanted
to go. I timebridged to Saturday night. We texted a couple times Saturday,
but since she didn’t make it down to Gaslamp we didn’t meet up. I left her
with an open invitation to hit me up whenever she’s in LA.
7/4/08
Being July 4, the usual venues were pretty dead. Tried some day and night
game, but nothing spectacular went down.
During the day, me and RC hung out in La Jolla. I created this exercise and
I recommend it to you and your wing. It’s called sexualizing the
conversation.
(See kino chapter on sexualization).
Watched the fireworks from a rooftop bar called Altitude. The HB I gamed
didn’t want to bounce with me to the next venue, and nobody winged me
on the obstacle. So in spite of massive attraction, I ejected and the crew
went to Stingaree (which I’m told is sarge heaven). Dead there, went back
to J Bar, dead, called it a night.
Somewhere in there I got incredibly blown out by a large mixed set, like the
very first one I opened. It was then that I realized there is something called
Room Perspective. How does the Room as a collective entity view you?
When I got blown out, the AFC may have had his feelings hurt, or tried
desperately to recover the set, or started a fight with the dudes who were
laughing at him. But what does the Room see? You just entered a set, and
suddenly everyone’s laughing. The Room doesn’t know that they’re
laughing at you and not with you. It doesn’t matter. Smile and eject; the
Room will think you’re the life of the party.
7/5/08
Back in action.
We hung out at Dale’s beach house. But since SD banned alcohol on the
beach, the HBs were staying away. I had brunch with a couple, and the guy
was in the community before getting monogamous. He had a concept he
cleverly called the JDGF pheromone. Once he committed to his LTR, girls
wanted to sleep with him. This is because he began to emit the Just Don’t
Give a Fuck pheromone, which is a huge turn-on to women.
Checked out Airport Lounge at night (as seen in Mehow’s vids) but nobody
there yet, so went back to J Bar. Worked the room, got some fun convos
going and eventually settled in with HB Lovescoke (who does lines at home
once in a while because coke helps her gain insight into situations). She is
a massage therapist. We exchanged some massages and (in spite of her
boyfriend who wasn’t present), she complied with all basic kino.
HB Lovescoke taught me a lot. In fact, I now see that in the classroom we
call the field, women are the educators. They are constantly offering useful
information about how girls process the world. We can take that and use it
in future sets. For example, HB Lovescoke and I had some conspiracy
where we observed how people were dressed. Pretty boys with tight shirts
were clueless sexually; they were all about pleasing themselves, and their
shirts represented how tight they must feel inside their chest (her
sexualization, not mine). I can now take this little insight and use it to cold
read other dudes in the future.
I realized there are various levels of value exchange. The most superficial
would be something like ‘Hi my name is Joe.’ ‘Hi, I’m Cindy.’ Then, a bit
deeper value exchange would include each party saying where they live or
what they do for a living. Deeper value exchanges include something
sexual. I showed a pic of one of my girlfriend’s tits, and HB Lovescoke
showed me a pic of boobs on her phone. Another sexual exchange of
value includes one sneaky trick I thought up where I tell a girl: ‘When I’m
with a girl and I’m not totally feeling it, if she <xyz> to me, I turn into a
raging sex fiend. That’s like my weak point!’ At this point, she says ‘For me,
when a guy starts <xyz> it’s game over. I have to have sex.’ So for HB
Lovescoke, having her nipples sucked was her sex trigger. In this way,
anti-LMR tools can be elicited from each girl. As I said, pretty sneaky.
While I was talking to her, I began leaning in and speaking softly into her
ear. She did the same back, so that soon enough our cheeks were
touching as we spoke. This is one step in escalation to the kiss. Even if you
aren’t discussing anything terribly private (in this case, it was about drug
use, so there was some plausible deniability in effect), it’s effective to
soften your volume and lean in to her ear.
I reopened the set later by myself. When I started talking to RC’s target, it
was like meeting HB Lovescoke’s dad in the living room before the first
date: I had to start all over with the shit tests and interviewing. Fortunately,
I was trying out some new anti-interview tactics (credit Cro) (‘I didn’t know
this was an interview. Am I getting paid for this? Seriously, what channel
will this be on?’) Keep teasing if she keeps interviewing, until it’s clear how
socially inept she’s being. You don’t want to start qualifying or jumping
through a series of hoops. But you do need to win over the obstacle, even
if you’ve already covered this ground with your target.
I gamed them for a while, but once I mini-isolated HB Lovescoke, her friend
eventually got bored and really drunk. HB Lovescoke told me (in so many
words) that RC hit preselection too hard and if he wanted to have sex with
her friend he needed to cool it. If a target doesn’t explicitly say she wants to
fuck, sometimes you can get this out of the obstacle. RC had wandered off.
When a pull is impending, your wing should be nearby. So they left.
What you did well
This weekend was a great learning experience for both me and RC. The
more you go out and push the envelope, the more you learn what you can
get away with.
What you did wrong and could have done better
There are always ways to try pulling. The line for the girl’s bathroom was
long at J Bar, and we were staying upstairs in the hotel. RC could have
offered his target to come up and use our bathroom, and then escalate
there. When my 2-set with HB Lovescoke decided to take a cab home, I
should have offered to drive them back.
Other comments
I’ve set aside timebridge mentality and now go out with SNL mentality. It’s
a whole nother level: you are uncompromising, aggressive and always
looking for the best girl with the best logistics. You can minimize comfort
and just rely on sexualization and attraction.
Hit on girls! HB Lovescoke told me she hates San Diego men because they
don’t know how to hit on girls. Girls want this; give it to them.
One new opener that worked well for me was: ‘Hey, is this the best bar for
people watching? You like to people-watch, right? Well, of course you do.
Women are all voyeurs.’ This immediately sexualizes the convo and gives
you a reason to be approaching, and sets up a conspiracy plotline.
I also learned to use the following because of all my blow-outs at Ivy: ‘So,
I’m visiting from LA. I thought because my first night I went to Ivy, San
Diego had no love for me.’ Here, the sets started qualifying how friendly
they and San Diego were compared to LA. This is a challenge which
compels otherwise unfriendly people to start warming up to you. So no
more blow-outs. I called this my No-Love-In-San-Diego campaign, but you
could just as easily use whatever town you’re in even if it’s not far from
home. There is some aspect of Tourist Mentality here too; a guy visiting a
town will leave and may never come back, so this can permit a woman to
misbehave for that night.
You want your girl to start touching you, so you can find ways to bait the
convo to elicit reverse kino. Example: ‘Jeez, I ate so much today. My belly
feels enormous!’ This baits her to rub your stomach, as you jut it out.
Example: ‘I bet you’d probably kick my ass in arm wrestling. Let’s see.’
Feel her arm and then offer up yours, and she feels you up.

8/13/08: How to have a good night
A quick note on what I think constitutes a 'good night' out, and how to avoid
'bad nights.'
1. Stay self-amused. Guys running the same canned stack over and over
are not self-amused. But being spontaneous and situational makes the
night fun. As you get blown out all over the room, you still walk away with
fond memories, because you kept yourself laughing the whole time.
2. Expand your reality. Learn things about yourself, women and people in
general. Some of the simplest concepts like preselection can be mindblowing when you see them in effect.
3. Recognize your SPs and push yourself outside your comfort zone. Set a
new personal best for yourself. Even if it's just getting your first #, it serves
as a milestone you'll always remember.
4. Feel validated by women. Look past the blow-outs and focus on the IOIs
you got. There is a lot of negative self-talk in the community, and so it's
easy minimize your small successes with ladies and focus on the big goal
of getting laid.
5. Enjoy giving value with no expectations. Be charming, funny and kind. If
women don't want to accept your value, consider it their loss and move on.
Don't try to twist someone's arm to take your value; there are plenty of
people out there who are easier to please, and spend your time with them
instead. Likewise, if girls don't reciprocate and offer value, don't think
anything of it.
6. Stay the fuck out of your head. Don't keep kicking yourself for screwing
up the last set. Don't keep trying to 'play' your target. Be in the moment and
feed off of whatever your target is giving you. Just enjoy each interaction
and stop over-analyzing it all. The time for that is when the night is over.

8/26/08: How big is your...reality?
When we get into PU most of us have a specific reality. It says things like
'girls only want monogamy,' 'be the provider who buys dinner and a movie,'
'it is your lot in life to take what is given to you.'
By contrast, there is the other reality, call it the PUA Reality or whatever
name suits you. This reality says 'women don't mind having polygamous
LTRs,' 'don't be the Provider, be the Lover,' and 'don't accept what falls in
your lap...go out and make things happen.'
Living in the chode reality is fine for some. It's safe, they can hide behind
their wall of excuses and never feel endangered. When they finally get into
a LTR they're grateful some 6 or 7 finds them attractive, and will even
marry them just to have company, sex and to fulfill what family, friends and
society say is normal.
But me and my friends prefer the alternate reality. I won't ever accept
anything that is not up to par. I'll reject ill-meaning value-takers, girls who
can't appreciate me, or any relationship that isn't healthy. And I'll keep
searching for women who do meet my expectations, because women are
in abundance. When I approach a woman, it is a given that she is
attracted and wants to sleep with me. That's not even in question. My new
reality says you can cold approach a 10 and get her quickly into bed
without buying her dinner, without supplicating in any way, without
compromising your values. I am the shit and girls need to work for my
attention.
So now from this new perspective I see how much bigger my reality can
be. I'm sure there are wise people out there who have an even grander
reality, who better understand the vastness of the universe and know what
is fully possible. And then there are those with very tiny realities, who
struggle to appreciate even the most basic beauty that's in front of them,
who welcome loneliness, anguish and suffering as inevitable. They haven't
yet swallowed the blue pill.
I recommend you make your reality as big as possible.

8/27/08: Fearlessness: a key to victory
When you sit down and have a bowl of soup, how much fear do you feel?
Do you have to think twice about it? Talk yourself into it? Blast loud music
to get yourself into the mindset to eat soup?
Probably not.
When you walk up to a turbo hotty, how much fear do you feel? Should be
the same. Like eating soup.
A huge key to success is fearlessness. And a big hurdle we face is
fear...fear of escalating too fast, fear of rejection, fear of the AMOG.
The Judge recently told me about a set where he was AMOGd by a dude
who totally threw him off-guard and in so doing, commandeered the set.
How did the AMOG do this? By kissing TJ on the cheek. Tell me, if you
needed to take a set over, would you have it in you to kiss the
orbiter/AMOG on the cheek? Why not? Fear of looking queer? Fear of
getting beat up? In the game, fear is not your friend.
To be truly alpha, you must walk without fear. It is attractive to women, and
it can't be faked. You must saunter into private parties as if invited, you
must pull girls into locations that are off limits, you must confront scary
guys who want you gone, you must go up to women who seem
unobtainable and act like you own their ass. Without fear.
But fear is a defense mechanism, and it's there for our own protection. It
can be healthy. But let's compare it to chronic pain. If you were to sprain
your ankle, the pain is your body's way of saying 'Hey, stop walking around,
dumbass.' The pain gets you off your ankle so it can heal. But many times,
once the injury resolves chronic pain can set in for no healthy reason. Fear,
like pain, to an extent is healthy. But it can also turn into a chronic irrational
condition that serves you no purpose. In pain management, there is a
concept called desensitization. If you repeatedly touch a painful area, you
become desensitized and thus the pain stops being as bothersome. Use
desensitization in fear management as well.
I'm not a big believer in daily affirmations. I am the shit. If I have to keep
convincing myself everyday that I'm the shit, then I really don't believe it.
Affirmations are fine for starters, but there becomes a point when you're
just trying to convince yourself of your own merit instead of really believing
it. Similarly, you can fake being fearless to start the process of
desensitization, but sooner or later, you must stop faking it and start living
it. Just like eating soup.

9/6/08: FR: Halitosis of the Apocalypse
Time/Date
9/5/08
Location
The Griffin and Bigfoot Bar in Los Feliz
Logistics
Winging Lysander, Watanabe and Megatron
Guest appearance by: Ulysses and guys from Santa Monica Lounge
What went down
The evening started simply with a text message from me to Lysander:
dB: 2nite we lord
Lysander: Yes!
dB: 10 @ Griffin. Leave chode @ home
Lysander had been choding out hard lately, and tonight I wanted him to
bring his best game, which he did. I spend a few hours glued to my TV
playing the game Destroy all Humans! then take off with Arctic Monkeys
blasting. Arrive at 10 and meet up with the fellas. The threat of the chode
slap hovers in the air, but this night I decide to be easy on them. This night
I resort only to scolding and name-calling.
We descend on the venue like a swarm of locusts. Everyone is in a
talkative state. We lord. The talent is average, but one chicky catches my
eye. She has Cleopatra’s hair-doo, so she is dubbed HB Cleo. I like her
dress and so I tell her:
dB: Love this dress. You’ve got class. But I can’t hit on you. You aren’t 21.
How’d you sneak into the bar?
She says she’s older than 21. Ha! Silly muffin, you just qualified and you
don’t even know it. I’m a bunghole.
I chode it up, escalate a bit, introduce her to Lysander. She’s not giving me
much value to work with, but then suddenly:
Cleo: You’re a Capricorn.
dB: No.
Cleo: Pisces?
dB: I’m a Libra and you’re a Leo.
(Don’t ask me how, but I can guess signs like 9 out of 10 times.)
Cleo: Yes.
dB: Of course. My whole family is Leos.
Cleo: So do you feel the need to put labels on things?
dB: Not at all. You’re enigmatic. That’s a good thing. If I could read you like
a book I wouldn’t be talking to you.
We’re now speaking close, face-to-face, and as I start to amp it up, her
friends intervene and pull her to the bar. Didn’t get a chance to reopen.
Lysander and I work a 2set of so-so Asians. For kicks, I deploy the claw
which seems to freak her out, but she’s incapable of escape. I tell her she’s
sexy as fuck – a lie – and she looks like she wants to peepee her pants
and call her mommy. She’s too small; I toss her back. Note to self: I need
to start acting this way around turbos too.
I tell Lysander later we need to bounce. Watanabe has worked the room
but MT keeps taking his targets. I tell him ‘It’s good to be able to work the
room. But now reopen one girl you like and pull her. And if you’d escalated,
MT wouldn’t be stealing your targets.’ He agrees it was his own fault, but
the thought of pulling is outside his reality for now. But not for long.
Lysander has reopened an Italian girl a few times, so I suggest we take
them to Bigfoot down the street. He agrees. I try winging, but every time his
obstacle opens her mouth, a stench so unholy and evil blasts out. My gut is
in knots from it, and I have to stand about 10 feet away and speak via
megaphone. Halitosis of the Apocalypse.
We walk to Bigfoot. He’s been steadfastly working on kino, though it’s
never enough for my satisfaction. Anytime he asks me how he can respond
to something a girl says, I tell him: ‘There is only one right answer: kino.
Nevermind how to respond. Just kino. Kino the living fuck out of her! Next
time I see you in set for 30 minutes you better be making out. Talking is the
interrupt in your game.’ He agrees. Anyway I let him work his target while I
stay clear of HoA. I need plenty of ventilation to be around this chick. My
stomach knots start to unravel.
I’m pawning this girl off ASAP. We enter Bigfoot and fortunately there’s a
2set at the bar, one of whom is one of the cutest girls of the night. I
approach with my new lady friends, then quickly rid myself of them and
open the 2set. We hook, I plow. HB Little Mermaid (she works at Disney
and we agree that Ariel is hot).
dB: We were just at the Griffin. I like the bar, but I have a problem with the
bathroom.
LM: Why?
dB: There are no locks on the doors. If I want to get intimate with someone,
sometimes I can’t get any privacy. People are walking in and out.
LM: Hahahaha!
dB: Huh? Why is she laughing?
LM: You are so charming!
dB: I know. I’ve put a lot of work into it.
It’s off and running. A couple really strange dudes covered in tats but
dressed in black suits stand there staring at her for a good 15 minutes.
Staring like she’s a fucking TV set. Creepy. I eject, one moves in. He stays
there even when I reopen, plow, and she totally ignores him. This has
never happened to me. Most guys vaporize, but he’s not budging. He
doesn’t say much. He just stands there and stares. Nice game, buddy.
Watanabe did his best to take him out, but the dude was persistent. At one
point she leaves for the bathroom and I tell her to see if the door locks
(wink wink nod nod. She gets the subtext that I intend to bang her in a stall,
and she laughs. Good girl).
She later tells me she can get 3 guests into Disneyland.
dB: Awesome. We’re going. (Hand her my phone)
LM: I don’t remember my number.
dB: Wtf?
LM: Well, I have a boyfriend.
dB: That’s great. We should hook him up with my girlfriend.
LM: Maybe we should.
dB: Does he like bald girls? Well, she’s not totally bald. Just thinning a little
on top.
LM: Uh, no he doesn’t. But he’s in Singapore right now.
dB: I see.
LM: Where is your girlfriend?
dB: Oh, she’s also in Singapore.
LM: You’re making this up!
dB: I actually have 9 girlfriends. See, there are serial monogamists and
there are parallel polygamists.
LM: Which are you?
dB: I’m a parallel polygamist.
LM: I’m a serial monogamist who wants to be a parallel polygamist.
dB: I figured.
(She had earlier told me how OCD she is but how frustrated she was over
it. I told her that having been that way myself, she should relax, go with the
flow and act normal. I told her I don't wear a watch because 'Wherever I am
is where I want to be, and I'll leave when I'm good and ready.' So her
sexual comment was totally in line with her personality).
dB: You really should act out of character and be impulsive.
LM: I should…but I can’t.
dB: Well, you better tell this guy (pointing to hoverchode). I’m sure your
boyfriend would be happy to know you're loyal. I’ll be over there if you
change your mind. Ttyl.
I hang out with my homies. Then we split. Ulysses invites us over to his
pad down the street for wine and meat. As me and Lysander are walking to
our cars, a text from Watanabe comes in:
‘It has been brought to my attention by my general health practitioner that
yours truly has the ole hiv. that’s right aids. bummer huh? Have a great
night!’
Lysander and I are stunned. But then things just don’t seem right to me,
and I wonder if it’s a hoax. Watanabe looked happy a few minutes prior to
the text. And who sends out a mass text like this? Megatron has a twisted
sense of humor, but he’d never play a joke like this.
We drive to Ulysses’ place and then call Watanabe. It goes to voice
message. We call Megatron. He tells us Watanabe had had his phone
stolen. Mystery solved. Some people are real fuck-ups who need to get a
clue.
We celebrate life at Club Ulysses. Wine and meat, politics, and how to
properly fuck a girl. This lifestyle rocks.
What you did well
Eh, not much.
What you did wrong and could have done better
I get the boyfriend card A LOT. It’s never an IOD or shit test; the girl
honestly is loyal and doesn’t want to cheat. I’m sure if you had a GF you’d
want her to act the same way. I’ll plow past it now a few times, but there
gets to be a point when it isn’t worth the effort. If a girl is trying to avoid the
guilt of cheating on her BF, then I’m fine to leave her be. With Little
Mermaid, I suggested the pull, tried to timebridge, but she was a no-go. I
think a make-out would’ve flown, so next time I’m working towards that,
even with a skinhead creepster breathing down our necks.

9/20/08: It's about both
I know this topic has been beaten to death, but good game means tight
inner game AND outer game.
When I watched the Blueprint, I thought my game was pretty good. But BP
got me thinking that I wasn't actually getting the results based on my core
identity/confidence. If girls were attracted to me, there was always the
possibility that it was my routine, my peacocking, etc. So after the BP, I
stripped my game almost completely down.
The goal was to make sure that girls were into me for ME, not any sort of
crutch I'd been relying on to gain attraction. I wanted solid core confidence,
and if I wasn't getting the success I sought, I knew what exactly to blame. I
wanted to wipe my slate clean and restructure my entire approach.
The problem is, as I've been going out relaxed and confident, my subcoms
being better than ever, my in-field success has really taken a hit. Last night
I got blown out by every set. This doesn't affect my state, but as a tactician,
I have to analyze this and see why I've been regressing so hard these past
couple months.
What I realized is the obvious - total game involves dialing up your inner
game, but that isn't enough. You have to still use all the tools in your
toolbox. I realized I'd given up sexualizing, strategic vibing, comfortbuilding, and have only depended on being present and in state. But after
this transformation happens and you don't start implementing the tried and
true tactics, all you're doing is fluffing. And we all know how sexy that is.
So after a bunch of soul-searching, it's become clear that I need to get
myself back to the foundations of good outer game.

9/25/08: The world is round
It's not flat. It's round.
I have absolute certainty in this notion in spite of no actual first-hand
experience.
Why is this? Because since I was a boy, people have been drilling into my
head that the world is round. I've seen pics from space, globes, textbook
descriptions. But granted, this is still all second-hand information.
It was not always the case. Long ago Mesopotamians used to think the
world was flat. They believed it, and fear of falling off the edge may have
prevented explorers from sailing off to go have a look.
This concept dawned on me recently when I wondered why some guys
take longer than others to excel at seduction: for some, the world is and
always has been flat. Fear keeps some guys from sailing to the periphery;
their belief that the earth is not spherical is just as deeply seated as my
belief that it is. It's not something you can reason a man into. He will simply
not welcome something this bizarre into his reality, and even when he goes
to take a look for himself, it may take years before he is so convinced of his
findings that they form a true belief.
For 38 years I believed the earth was flat. Then a show came on TV telling
me, 'Hey, you know, it's round. Go take a look.' So gradually over the
course of the past year I've been convincing myself of what NLP calls the
territory, and undoing my conviction in the map. But it's been a long road to
this point. Every negative reference experience has fed into my longstanding belief. If a girl flaked it was never because girls are just naturally
flaky (which we now know to be the truth), but that they were responding to
something about ME. When I didn't approach a girl, I had no idea it was
due to AA, but blamed myself as socially inept. And so on. Each rejection
and hurdle fed into my old way of thinking. And as my map became more
vivid, my fear and aversion intensified, further keeping me in my place.
Now whenever I hesitate in field, I tell myself 'the world is round.' And little
by little I'm starting to believe this.

10/5/08: Are you a closer or a loser?
There are only two ways a set can end: you can lose it, or you can close it.
The words look the same, but the mentality behind each is worlds apart.
You can really only get good at consistently seducing women by thinking
like a closer. Here are some ways to know which category you're in:
1. A loser looks for excuses not to open, not to game, not to pull. He will
self-sabotage with reasons like 'oh, there's no place to lock in' or 'oh, she's
driving her friends home tonight.' A closer thinks 2 steps ahead, creatively
figuring out ways to shoot down her objections or to by-pass logistical
hurdles.
2. A loser basks in the glow of female validation, happy to go home alone
because he's 'improved his skill set.' A closer is not content with just getting
attraction and validation; if he isn't closing he isn't completely satisfied with
his night.
3. A loser settles for a # when a pull can be had. A closer realizes once a
girl is out of his sight, her BT drops and the chances of closing drop. And
so, he pushes that interaction as far as he possibly can...that night. Despite
the common misnomers, A NUMBER IS NOT A CLOSE, it's just one part
of timebridging. And A KISS IS NOT A CLOSE, it's just a rung in the
escalation ladder leading to sex.
4. A loser pussyfoots around, deploying all sorts of amusing tactics and
shenanigans that may be entertaining but do nothing to make her feel he is
sex-worthy. A closer makes it very very clear what his intent is - to get laid and takes full responsibility for what is about to happen.
5. A loser fails to escalate as the windows open. A closer will not only plow,
but pry windows open to allow him the chance to escalate.
I am not hating on losers here; being a loser is a necessary part of the
transformation most guys here will go through on the path to being a
closer.
I am reminding you not to get stuck too long in loser mode when you
should have the closer mindset. Before you can become a closer, you must
think like a closer. A closer is hungry, a closer is uncompromising, a closer
CLOSES.

10/10/08: Women are in ABUNDANCE
Do you realize how many hot women there are? There's a shit load. I've
been doing this for a year and almost never run into the same hotties on
different nights.
But have you really internalized this fact? Living a life of abundance, as we
say in the community, doesn't mean you necessarily have women coming
out your ears, but it does mean you fully understand that there are
waaaaay more chicks out there than you could realistically game.
Some guys are gaming with the opposite mindset: scarcity. I'm gonna
break down the difference:
1. If you get a # from a girl, you call. And text. And call. And call. And text.
And she doesn't respond. She doesn't call back. You do this for weeks.
You go to where you met her hoping she may show up again. You are
living in a scarcity reality. The girl on the other hand has so many options
for sex and dating that she doesn't need to take your call, respond, or go
out with you. She may not even remember who you are and she's certainly
not sitting around thinking about your ass. She is living with an abundance
mentality. You want to have her mentality. There is a line dividing being
persistent and not knowing when to let it go. Find that line.
2. If a girl gives you attention and you get her attracted, you fail to give
strong statements of intent or to escalate sexually. You don't want to lose
the set by being too aggressive. Why the fuck not? There's another hotty
waiting for you on the other side of the bar, but you've acquired a mini-oneitis. Not good. Her attraction to you is meaningless. She's a stranger in a
bar. Why should you even CARE what she thinks about you?
Why...because you're in scarcity mode.
3. Every girl you meet is a potential lay. You may even AMOG your wing to
game her. You may not even be all that attracted to her looks or
personality. If you've adopted an abundance mindset, you will find other
roles for her in your world. Make her a friend. Invest time in her social
circle. Get the ug's phone number and use her as the gateway into that
circle. Not every girl has to be a 'target.' Strategize long-term and don't
lower your standards or neglect your friends and wings for some bird.
4. You do manage to get the girl out on a day 2. Red flags go up. She's
clingy. She's got a bad temper. She makes it clear she wants a sugar
daddy. Or maybe you suspect she has a filthy twat. But do you hold back in
spite of what your instincts are telling you, or do you bang someone just
because she's a warm hole? Your penor is a gift, and you should grant it to
women who are worthy of it.
5. You are ever so careful not to say anything that might offend her. You
constantly agree with her. You don't tease her or call her out on things you
find weird or disagreeable. You begin investing in the conversation much
more than she does. You've now entered the interview phase of the
relationship, and sad to say it, she's the one doing the interviewing. YOU
must be always screening HER.
Having a scarcity mentality leads to needy behavior and all the
subcommunications that go along with it. And nothing turns women off
faster than guys who smell like desperation and fear. If you really truly don't
give a crap, it'll show. And women will love you for it.

10/11/08: Premature Ejectulation
I think AFC Adam coined this phenomenon. I see it a lot in field and I've
been guilty of it in the past. But believe me, work through it and you'll be
much happier.
A set is going really well. She's laughing at your humor, complying, giving
you IOIs up the wazoo. So do you pull or at least get the #? No, you eject.
You reopen again. Maybe she's as receptive as before, but often times,
not. You game a bit more, not as easy to spike BT. You eject.
You reopen one more time. She couldn't care less about you, and you
leave yet again.
It's just like baseball. Strike one...ok, not great but she'll give you another
shot. Strike two...you better hit a home run next time, sonny. Strike
three...you're done. If a girl is attracted, GAME her. Try not to eject if you
think she's DTF and you like her. Willingness to walk is a strong switch, but
many times in the interim her BT drops, or some other dude swoops in and
games her.
You're allowed to reopen her once. After that, stay in set and get the digits
or seed the pull/bounce.
So why do guys suffer from premature ejectulation? The root can be issues
like trigger anxiety, deservedness, and most commonly a desire to not do
anything to ruin the attraction you've cultivated. This is one part scarcity
mentality, one part validation-dependence, one part being in loser mode
(search my posts for further discussions of these). Doing some honest
soul-searching will help sort out the cause. Sometimes it's because your
wing is bored or has ejected, and you're thinking more about his well-being
than your penor's.
Here's what you can do about it:
1. When you feel the urge to eject, STOP. Nothing is more important than
gaming her. Your wing will be just fine...you can text him later to catch up if
needed. You don't NEED wings to get laid; don't turn them into a liability.
Plant your feet there and don't let them move.
2. Her attraction doesn't matter. Adopt an abundance mentality. It's super
that for the first time in your AFC existence you've got a hot girl laughing,
doing spins, kissing your cheek. Props. But don't get addicted to that
feeling, because it's ego-based. Fuck the ego.
3. If you run out of things to say, start hitting on her. Tell her how much you
want to bang her RIGHT NOW, compliment her rack and how nice it'll look
wrapped around your cock later on, or do some random kino like hairpulling. Stay out of your head and get in touch with your masculine polarity.
4. If she IODs, you can briefly IOD back. But get to the reason why it's
happening: you aren't working hard enough to keep her attracted. Spike
BT, DHV, escalate. Do the things that cause her circuits to light up. But
ejecting when she starts showing signs of disinterest is like waving a white
flag and retreating with your tail between your legs.
5. Make out with her. Stop talking, start doing. Make her horny, not so
much with your words but with your dominance. Push yourself past the
point of no return. Sink or swim, just pull the trigger and see what happens.
Yep, you'll risk losing all that lovely validation, but so be it.

10/15/08: Psyche, Viscera, Penor
This is the social artist’s triad:
His Psyche. His Viscera. His Penor.
This is some real mystical shmystical new-age bullshit. Ok, dig this.
Psyche
All the stuff going on in your head. I mean Freud's definition here,
subdivided into:
1. Id. These are your unconscious, instinctual drives.
2. Superego. This is your conscience, taking into account social norms and
morality.
3. Ego. Governs the above 2 conflicting forces. But on another level, has to
do with your pride, the undermining arch-enemy of your self-confidence.
Viscera
This is your gut, including your heart and your cojones.
Penor
Your masculine polarity…your sex drive.
Let's look at some examples of how these three forces interact, okay?
Approach Anxiety
For the most part, this is a visceral response. You see a perfect 10
standing in the freezer section, and you unsavorily crap your pants. Your
mouth gets dry, your palms wet. You freeze up. This is a gut reaction.
Social artists train themselves to squash it, but that's just their Psyche
momentarily dominating their Viscera. True, a smaller part of AA is the ego
trying to protect itself from humiliation and shame, but the prime factor of
AA is a hard-wired visceral response.
Here, the Penor may make the suggestion to approach, but it has little say
in the actual approach for most guys. Therein lies the problem. Many guys
new to the community will subvert their Viscera and allow their Psyche to
push them into sets. But in the process, the Penor also gets ignored. Let
your Penor approach! Own your sex drive and manifest it from the moment
you lock eyes with her.
Gaming
Many guys are out there ‘running game’ instead of trying to fuck women.
They approach tons of girls they aren’t really turned on by, get phone
numbers to feed their ego, run game void of any sexual chemistry or
escalation. They write FRs full of ‘getting IOIs’ and witty banter, but in the
end leave empty-handed. It’s almost as if they don’t want to get laid.
Seduction shouldn’t be played like a chess game, though lots of guys
intellectualize the process. Maybe they just feel safer to remove their
Viscera altogether from the process; the heart doesn’t have a policeman to
protect it, while at least the Psyche has the ego. Yes, gaming can be
intellectually challenging, but let’s not lose sight of the reason we’re out
there: to get pussy.
Go into field HORNY. Get in touch with your masculine polarity and listen
to it. Get out of your head. Surprisingly, many guys aren’t listening AT ALL
to their Penor when trying to seduce women…ironic but true.
One-itis
You meet a hot chick and then keep thinking about her. Notice the word
thinking. Nevermind that your gut tells you she isn’t worth the energy.
Heck, your Penor may not have much to do with it; do you really want to
connect with this chick on a primal sexual level, or is it just your ego
seeking validation and attraction? One-itis is an obsession, an endless
echoing feedback loop of the Psyche. It’s a subset of outcome
dependence, and doesn’t represent a healthy balance of the triad forces.
Extinguish it.
Alphaness
Have you ever seen a guy in field do something incredibly ballsy? Like walk
up to a girl and totally dominate her physically. This alpha behavior is
driven by Penor, Viscera and id. There is no superego or ego at play; these
either don’t exist or have been successfully muted.
At times, the ego must come into play to avoid incarceration or fist fights.
But for many successful social artists, escalation commonly involves
actions and comments bordering on social deviance. To become this
person, you must dial your ego down - way down - start to erase what
you’ve been taught by social conditioning. Disregard the red flags telling
you your ego may get bruised as a consequence. Fear of escalation is
called trigger anxiety, and like AA it arises largely from the Viscera.
Here’s the deal. Next time you find yourself indecisive in field, break things
down into this triad. And figure out how much each of the forces is
contributing to your actions. Is your Penor being heard or is it being stifled?
Are you ignoring your Viscera? Is your ego dictating what to do?
Analyze the conflict, seek the right balance, then act.

11/2/08: Dames who shit test
I love getting shit tests. It lets me know the girl probably gets hit on a lot
and tries to be selective. It also gives me the opportunity to show her what
I'm made of.
You take a dude who hasn't studied PU and isn't an uberPUAgeek, he
won't know that he's being tested, why the words are coming from her
mouth, and how to respond. He'll fail, as many of my AFC buddies do even
with girls that are good to go.
I was chilling with Damian and the boyz last night and one of them got a
little frustrated with shit tests and all the crazy mind games women play. I
broke it down for them...
I've been reading David Deida lately, and he had some wise words on the
subject, chapter 30 'What she wants is not what she says':
'Your woman probably tests you in this way all the time. Her ultimate desire
is to feel your full consciousness, your trustable integrity, your unshakable
love, and your confidence in your mission. Yet she will rarely ask you
directly for these things. She would rather try to distract you from your truth,
and then feel that she cannot - that you hold fast to your truth while you
continue to love her.'
In short, women generally aren't gonna outright ask you if you are a man of
integrity, truth, commitment, passion. They want to prove it to themselves.
They do this by trying to shake you and see how you respond. If you falter
and veer off course from your purpose, she will be disappointed and will
lose faith in you. But if you prove you're unflappable in your beliefs and
values, she will be drawn towards you. Girls are turned on by this. It is
hard-wired. It's the same effect a nice rack has on a guy, providing
replicative value information.
What's worked for me is to view girls as my little puppy dogs. You play with
them, and some may bite, but you never react emotionally. You just think
it's endearing she's trying to attack when you could so easily discipline her.
Some girls will shit test the living crap out of you. I respond teasingly,
dismissively, authoritatively. If you respond logically, you're done.
Demonstrate subcoms of a man who seeks approval, you fail. Get angry or
defensive, attraction fades.
But on a deeper level, this is about those words Deida is using:
consciousness, integrity, love, mission. Ask yourself these questions, and if
you don't have answers, you must do some soul searching:
What really resonates with you; what is your mission? For me, it's helping
others. Hence what I do for a living and the field guide. I expect nothing in
return, and where work is concerned, I make very little money. But at the
end of each day, I can come home feeling victorious because I've helped
people. That is my mission, and it's undeniable if I'm ever tested.
Are you a man of integrity? If you say you're gonna do something, do you
do it or at least die trying? Or do you make excuses, procrastinate, lie. This
is why I don't commit to a diet, because I KNOW I wouldn't be able to
adhere 100% to it. But if I make plans with a wing to meet up, I will drag
myself out of a sound sleep to get dressed, drive there and wing him. My
word is the truth. This is about keeping a pact with yourself.
Do you love women? Are you talking to women because you adore the
feminine polarity and love to surround yourself with it? When you get into
bed with a woman, do you ravish her out of love, or are you seeking selfgratification?
Are you authentic? If you find a woman attractive, do you let her know? Or
do you play parlour games in an attempt to trick her. You can successfully
game chicks by relying on routines and tactics, but is that fully rewarding to
you? Wouldn't you rather set aside all that clutter and just be your best self,
giving value and attracting her to your core identity?
In the community, we say 'fake it til you make it.' If you are not a man of
integrity, love, authenticity, etc, yes it is possible to still 'fool' girls into being
attracted to You (or more accurately, some calculated predetermined
facade of You).
But if you ARE all of the above, there is absolutely no faking it. You are
simply present and conscious, and women are genuinely drawn to you.
They can shit test all they want, but when you're acting with purpose and
clarity, it is IMPOSSIBLE to fail.

12/4/08: 10 things it took me 39 years to learn about women
Let me run down the top 10 most important things I’ve learned about the
opposite sex and how to relate to it. I wish I’d known all this at a younger
age, because I ruined a lot of (potential) relationships. And feel free to add
your own discoveries. Ok, here goes:
1. Be a sex machine. Your job is to turn out happy girls. When you meet
up with a girl, YOU are not getting laid. SHE’S getting laid…by you. Don't
just masturbate into a vagina. Make it your mission to know about and how
to deliver all the various female orgasms. Every girl is wired differently, so
learn quickly what each girl fantasizes about and how they like to reach
orgasm. And give it to them. On a consistent basis. Become highly
competent and they will keep coming back for more.
2. Be present. Live in the now. Don’t dwell on what she said or did. Don’t
dream about what might be. Girls live in the moment, as dictated by their
emotions. If you put too much stock in the past or future, you will diffuse
your focus on the moment. Girls tend to be erratic, inconsistent and
illogical. Go with it. Learn to love it.
3. Women are not men with vaginas. Nothing you know about anything
will help you understand women. Forget it all and begin the process of truly
understanding what makes women tick. Stop resenting women for who
they are or how they act. Different sexes, different brains, different
behaviors. If you can’t embrace and fall passionately in love with the
female polarity, you have work to do as a man.
4. Lead. It is not a girl’s responsibility to take your number; she will rarely
call it. It isn’t her job to initiate escalation. It isn’t up to her if a conversation
gets boring or the date sucks. This is all YOUR responsibility. YOU. The
MAN. Lead, in everything you do. Sure, get her opinion, ask for
suggestions. That’s cool and open-minded. But at the end of the day, it is
up to you to augment each moment so the final result is satisfying for both
parties.
5. She is not property. Slavery was abolished after the civil war. Don’t spy
on her. Don’t do drive-bys. Don’t go through her cell phone. Respect her
privacy at all times. Make it unmistakably clear to her that you will ALWAYS
respect her privacy. Give her room, let her breath, don’t push push push
until she can’t stand it anymore. If the girl is unsatisfied with you and
cheats, you need to fix things on your end. You must’ve done something
wrong somewhere. Maybe it was in choosing a girl who is inclined to
manipulate, lie or cheat, but again, that choice rested on your shoulders.
6. Women love to fuck. They just don’t want to fuck chodes. Stop thinking
sex is some kind of carrot women dangle in front of you to get you to do
something. She may act that way, but the truth is she wants it just as bad
or more so than you. Many women are not sexually liberated, or have
terrible long-standing issues that plague their drives. And so in those cases
you need to decide if putting in the hard work to surmount these barriers
will pay off. But understand that sex isn’t something that is bartered, bought
or traded, since for sexually liberated girls having sex is win-win.
7. Women love to fuck YOU. After all the gambits, tactics, bootcamps,
blah blah blah, the truth is you and you alone can become sex-worthy. Get
all that shit out of your head that tells you you aren’t of equal value or are
unattractive. Imagine every girl you meet in bed with you, then go about
making it happen. They will thank you.
8. Have no expectations. I always used to assume all women wanted
monogamous LTRs. They would all want to meet my family. They all
wanted kids and marriage. Then I realized there were a lot of girls who
DON’T want those things. Even the ones who said they wanted all that
were perfectly content going home with a stranger in a bar. Never assume
girls want a serious commitment. Never expect your relationship should
move in that direction. Take things one day at a time.
9. Celebrate you. Take ownership of your identity, and broadcast it proudly
to the world. If there are parts of you that aren’t satisfying, get to work fixing
them. But always seek validation, contentment and state from within. Never
look to women for these. They don’t want that responsibility. They may turn
to you for these, but it is so they can join you in the celebration of you.
10. Women are in abundance. The world is full of beautiful and intelligent
women with great personalities. You just need to arm yourself with the
confidence and skills to go out and meet them. While it is easy to believe
that your ex-girlfriend was your long-lost soul mate, the truth is there
probably are many other very similar girls out there waiting for you to
seduce them.

12/20/08: Create a Monster…an ALPHA Monster
A lot of dudes who get into PU have a hard time being alpha. They come
from a hardcore AFC background where it’s common to be rapportseeking, submissive and supplicating. Surprise, surprise, girls don’t
generally find those behaviors sexy. So key to becoming attractive to girls
is to act like an alpha male.
The word alpha gets thrown around a lot, but you typically know it when
you see it. It’s Tom Cruise walking into a room, no trace of hesitation or
fear in his actions. Charismatic, giving value, authentic in his words. Envied
by men, adored by women.
So when you go into the social lab we call the field, and you piece together
your Alpha Monster, here are some of the traits you should throw in, along
with exercises to help get you there.
1. Acquire immunity to social proof. Hypnotica, back in the day, went for
a while without bathing, and walked up to people with a dildo on his head.
He was trying to eliminate that concern he had about what people might
think of him. This is an extreme example. Other examples, less bizarre…
a. When in a venue of any kind (best if a quiet one) start singing, clapping,
yelling or making noises. TD calls this unstifling yourself.
b. Dance inappropriately. If you see a big set, jump into the middle and flail
around like you’re insane.
c. Crash and burn your sets. Make up stupid openers and run routines that
will probably make girls run away from you.
d. Escalate too hard and creep girls out. This ties in with #2 below.
2. Dominate. There are ways verbally and non-verbally to assert
dominance. A subset of this is assertiveness, or taking/standing up for what
you want. These are some dominant behaviors:
a. Control the convo. If she goes in a direction you don’t want to go, snip
and stack into something you want to talk about. Always set the agenda.
b. Control the frame. This is so important, I made it #3. But technically it’s a
form of dominance.
c. Be physical. Let your hands be crabs. Let them roam into her hair, neck,
back, shoulders, eventually her butt and so on. Don’t wait for permission to
escalate. Just do it.
d. Violate her personal space. Get all up in her grill in no time flat. Break
down any space barrier she has, from the moment you walk up.
e. Invite yourself to sit down with a seated set. Make them make room for
you.
f. Say what you mean, mean what you say. If a girl is sexy as fuck, tell her
she’s sexy as fuck. BUT, do it in a way that is socially well-calibrated. Don’t
be a dbag.
3. Practice frame control. Girls will try to wrestle the frame away from
you. It’s not that they particularly want the control. Some do, but most of
the time what they’re doing is testing you to see how dominant you are.
They want you to dominant them. They don’t want you to relinquish the
frame. A classic work on frames is “Real World Seduction” by Swinggcat.
Every aspiring PUA should read that one.
a. If a girl asks you a question, first make her guess. Whenever she asks
you to guess something, don’t do it.
b. Be less reactive than she is. Get used to using fewer words and more
quiet eye contact, grins and facial expressions. Keep your hand gestures a
little tempered compared to hers. This sets the frame that she is working
for your attention/attraction.
c. Be more relaxed and comfortable than she is. Lock in so you’re leaning
against something and she’s facing you. Same as with being less reactive,
this sets up the frame that you’re the prize and she’s pursuing you.
d. Be illogical and non-reactive when challenged. She’s trying to throw you
off guard either with shit tests or logical threads that break her own state.
Don’t fall for it. Redirect everything back into your reality, your frame.
4. Be unafraid to break rapport. She’s some girl you just met in a bar, so
why would you compromise your beliefs or values? Why would you
befriend her without her earning it?
a. Don’t hesitate to disagree with her. Call her out on something you think
is silly.
b. Do take-aways, body rocking, let your eyes wander away while she talks
to you, and other classic IODs.
c. Use your vocal tonality. This is hard to explain in writing, and Tim
illustrates it in his Flawless Natural video. There are two alpha ways you
can ask a question. First, don’t ask it. So instead of ‘hey, where do you
live?’ you state ‘you don’t live around here.’ You make statements that she
will infer are questions. Second, you can ask a question without the usual
upward inflection that you usually hear at the end of a question. Instead, let
the inflection go downwards. (Along these lines, sometimes when I’m
asking a question via text message, I’ll leave off the question mark. The
content of the text is perceived as a question, but the absent question mark
makes it more alpha.)
5. Spread out. Alphas treat every venue almost like his living room.
a. Take up room. Let your arms hang over adjacent chairs.
b. Be loud, but not so loud that it seems you’re trying to call attention to
yourself.
c. Have open, vulnerable body language. Not only are you taking up space
with your hands on your hips, but with your legs spread apart when
standing, you show you’re unafraid of taking one in the balls.
6. Gain (or enter with) social proof.
a. Roll in with a posse. This only works if: a) you have girls around you,
and/or b) you are bringing the party. A bunch of chodes standing in a
corner fearfully leering at girls dancing doesn’t count. The room should be
spectating you and your group.
b. Make friends in the venue. Merge sets, be a social butterfly, act like it’s
your birthday party. Have the room buzzing as you walk by. Give value out
with no agenda or need for reciprocation. Just feel good about making
people laugh and smile.
c. Use pivots, pawns and female wings. Alphas are preselected. Girls want
their genes, and it’s readily apparent to other women.
7. Be congruent. This one is not easy to learn. It has to come from
spending time in the field. As you start implementing all of the above, you
will stop faking it and start becoming it. But until then, as long as you’re
incongruent, you won’t be truly alpha.
a. Stop using too much damned canned material. Spitting one routine after
another is disingenuous and bordering on dancing monkey. When you
genuinely vibe, you’re being congruent. When you’re running a bunch of
lines that aren’t relevant to what she’s saying or thinking, or what your true
intentions are with her, you don’t seem congruent.
b. Have a good time. If you are doing all the above behaviors, but you still
reek of fear, your subcoms will belie you. So stop fearing and enjoy every
interaction. Don’t think about the outcomes, focus on the process.
c. Get out of your head. When you’re drunk, shit just comes out of your
mouth. Same for when you’re in your car singing at the top of your lungs.
You’re in the moment, not filtering everything. Alphas have no need to filter,
because they say what they mean and mean what they say (see 2f).
8. Be self-confident. Destroy your ego. Alphas have confidence in
themselves. They don’t let their egos run amok. If you hear yourself
bragging, make it stop. If you’re not pushing yourself outside your comfort
zone because your crew/your friends/your wings might think less of you,
recognize it and then push yourself even harder. Ego will subvert your selfconfidence. It’s counterproductive and decidedly un-alpha.

1/25/09: Assumptions
Usually people say 'when you assume you make an 'ass' of 'u' and 'me.''
Harhar. While that might be true in the business world, in PU, it isn't.
In fact, making assumptions - positive assumptions - will only help your
progress. They may hurt your individual sets, but as you move your focus
away from the outcomes and towards the process, positive assumptions
will only help. Negative assumptions will always hinder you.
Assuming attraction is only one example of a positive assumption. Others
are:
She wants me to make out with her
She wants me to pull her to my car and fuck her
She mentions her BF only as a shit test, but actually wants to pull
All girls in the club are there to get laid, no matter what they say
You can end any of the above with..."obviously!!"
Negative assumptions:
Girls won't like me because I'm bald/short/fat/pimply
I live too far away and girls won't drive out there to see me just for sex
I'll need to have money/a good car/go to the gym 5 times a week
She won't be attracted until I run my DHV stack
Another term for these is 'limiting beliefs.' Guys who get really good often
have a delusional belief system. Their reality seems delusional to outside
observers, but it is so friggin strong that women can't help but be sucked
into it. The one with the stronger reality wins, and all reality is subjective.
Recall, people held on bitterly to the 'reality' that the earth was flat.
So if you approach a set with a negative assumption like 'I need to
demonstrate my value and then test out compliance to see if it's ok to
escalate' you will set up a self-fulfilling prophecy which will blow you out.
Maybe a particular set or series of sets will be ok with this mindset, but
again that is outcome-dependent thinking. Process-focused thinking
doesn't care what happens in a set; it wants what will get your overall
skillset on the track to mastery. And it ain't this sorta stinkin thinkin.
But now approach with the positive assumption of 'I don't need to
demonstrate value; I AM value. Girls love me...obviously!! I just need to
assume attraction and then figure out if she's up to my standards.'
Yes, this may not get you into a lot of sets...at first.
But a funny thing happens when you maintain this mindset. Over time, you
start to believe it, internalize it, live it. It becomes congruent. Your subcoms
all fall into place with that of a high-value man (assuming your verbal game
is also that of high value, not dbag). Sets open...literally reward this
mindset.
You may tell yourself, 'I can assume attraction and keep telling myself I'm
attractive, but I just don't believe it down deep.'
But here you're using two terms interchangeably: belief and assumption.
You believe in God. That's more than assumption, it is who you are. At this
point, I'm just asking you to assume, not believe.
You will acquire belief through positive reference experiences. Keep
assuming that attraction is there and keep opening. Your bad subcoms will
correct with practice and self-analysis. You may need advice from wings or
professionals, but eventually as your epiphanies accrue there will be a
transformation.
In summary, looking for IOIs is old school. It's beta and reactive. Assuming
attraction is alpha. You may crash and burn a lot at first, but you will
autocorrect and gain calibration skills with field experience, honest
introspection of your sticking points, and dissolution of your ego. Of course,
being a total douche and trying to assume attraction while ignoring the fact
that most sets aren't receptive is not what I'm talking about here. Always
humble yourself to the field.

1/25/09: Me
I woke up in the middle of 2007 realizing I had 2 friends (both from high
school), hadn't had a girlfriend in 2 years, and had spent every night
playing video games, downloading porn or watching Netflix. Or some
combination of these. I was 38.
My parents had gotten me The Game when it came out, but I put it on the
shelf since I hate to read. Then VH1 showed the PUA1, and a light bulb
came on. I read The Game and the MM. I spent a week doing that, as well
as getting more info from the web, and then I went out that Friday faithfully
using all I'd learned.
My first night - in fact, the very first girl I opened - I got a k-close. A week
later she was in my bed, top and bra off, giving me token resistance. In
honor of the 7-hour rule I (incorrectly) didn't plow to the lay, and sent her
home.
OK, so this stuff worked.
To backup, I'll give you some idea of my social skills. I've spent my entire
life mumbling and not making eye contact. I heard 'you should smile' all
day, every day. If you put me in a room of people, I sat there listening, but
not contributing. I often went to the park in my 20s, sitting on a bench
watching people, again not talking to anyone. Pretty much after college for
about 16 years I didn't speak to many people except my girlfriends.
And as for those, the relationships lasted 2 weeks to a couple years. The
normal girls were 2 weeks, the psychos were 2 years. None of my LTRs
consisted of me selecting a girl I wanted to date based on her personality
or other qualifications. They typically approached me, and I then asked
them out on dates. They were all pretty cute or hot. I've always had high
standards in that dept, even if I felt I didn't deserve to.
So. You go into field thinking you're gonna start being this mack daddy
playa. No problem. Drop some negs, move girls around, get their #s. But
wait. You can't even approach because you have AA. Hmm, never knew I
did, because I never really tried talking to random girls in public.
I get to work on AA, 5-7 nights a week. Open, open, open. 1000s of sets.
Gradually, it goes away. Over the course of a year, I can comfortably work
a room. Not just no AA, not just comfortable in the venue, but actually
having a great night, like it's my birthday.
Then I go to work on my subcoms. I work on making EC with every person
I meet. Very tough habit to break, but I do it. This takes many months. I
project in loud clubs, I stand up straight, I keep my hands at my sides, I
smile, etc. Undoing 38 years of really really bad habits that subcom low
value and low self-esteem.
I develop my PUA 6th sense – the ability to read subtle nonverbal cues and
to calibrate appropriately. This was not hard since I'd been sitting there
watching people most of my life; that was the one remnant of my AFC life
which has paid off.
I field tested various tactics, from openers to LMR. I held no attachment for
any particular set, coming at it like a scientist in the lab, determined to
figure out social dynamics and how I fit into the matrix.
I take an inner game journey. At first, I was hiding behind routines and an
avatar. I went out and acted like Mystery, Mehow, Brad P, whomever.
Necessary at first, but clearly a way of avoiding putting my real identity on
the line. This was gonna take work.
Love me or hate me, I become determined to just 'be myself' without all the
clutter of routines and accessories. I declutter and simplify my approach,
and it's a relief. But it means being unreactive to what people might think of
me, of asserting myself, of going after what I want undeterred. Again, lots
of tough inner game work.
I read many books, including stuff by David Deida, Eckhart Tolle and a
bunch of PU gurus. It all seeps into my psyche and there's a deep shift.
Most of my epiphanies have been documented somewhere, either on a
forum or in my field guide.
In short, chasing tail takes a backseat to just trying to be 'normal' and at
peace with myself and my life. All the chaos in my life situation still exists,
but I now have a lightness of being. This is the biggest plus so far of being
in the community (in addition to all the new friends I've made).
When I started, I was able to leave all my worries at the door and go into
'game mode.' But I wanted to BE game, not do it. So I evolved further.
Now, my worries aren't even worries; problems are illusory and only exist if
you let them.
I no longer sit at home wishing I had friends; I don’t ever accept my
excuses or inaction; I stay fully in the moment and outside my head.
I've gotten so much more from being in the game than I'd ever expected
when I came into it. Of course, it's been a rough journey full of tests and
disappointments, but the end result proves it is worth the perseverance.
Meeting me now, you would never believe I was the person I was when I
watched that VH1 show. I’ve come a long way, but I’ll be the first to admit I
have still a ways to go on my journey. That’s ok, I have my whole life to get
this sorted out.

2/28/09: Reminder: Cold approach pick-up is fucking hard
When I got into the community in '07 it was pretty underground and there
weren't a lot of actively gaming guys around. Since then, it's exploded like
mad.
But during that time, I've seen a huge turn-over of guys. The attrition rate is
really high, and it's because:
a) most guys can't handle the inner game work that needs to be done
b) guys leave the game for a monogamous LTR
c) other factors like work and school get in the way
d) guys get discouraged when they don't get the results as fast as they
thought they would
I think now is a good time to remind all the newbs that cold approach
pickup may be one of the hardest skills you'll ever attempt. It doesn't help if
you're in LA, the flake capital of the world. Even after all the interactions
I've run, it never ceases to amaze me how tough this is. And I don't mean
getting a couple lays a year, I mean weekly. Like a typical day at the office.
That skill level can take years to achieve.
Mostly I'm talking to the guys out there without tons of passive value: old
guys like me, short guys like me, pasty white guys like me. Sure, tall good-
looking guys have issues too, but they generally don't need to work as hard
as the rest of us.
First, you need to get past all the crazy inner game shit. Like thinking girls
don't like to fuck, or that somehow sex is a bargaining chip all girls use to
get things they really want, or that you don't deserve hot babes (pleural) in
your life. Inner game work is a process that never ends. The biggest inner
game hurdle for most, AA, probably takes out 90% of guys who try this out.
Next, you need to figure out how to speak 'girl' which is a whole nother
language unto itself. Guys don't usually think in terms of push-pull, or
emotions or calibration. We think girls should be like guys: go up, tell them
they're hot, ask them if they wanna fuck, go fuck. Girls are so friggin
complex, it makes our heads spin. Just learning to understand how girls
process stuff, and to then accept this and work within their framework can
be a giant step.
After you get the basics of male-female conversation, you need to learn
how to escalate right. Not coming across like a creepster, but also touching
enough to get her turned on. And you need to plow past her token
objections with dominance and confidence, and past your own trigger
anxiety and Nice Guy syndrome.
After all that, even with rock-solid inner game, you STILL need to get her
sexually attracted. I've gone out and tried to get by on inner game alone,
and it's not enough. There are magical ways to get girls attracted so they'll
take you home or look forward to your call; you can run text book game,
and still not get hotties responding to you on that level. There are no
routines, openers or tactics that'll get you those results consistently. It is all
of the above and more.
So my point is, decide right now that getting good at interacting with and
seducing women is something you want to accomplish. Accept that this is
not a skill that you'll master in weeks, months or possibly years. It may be a
life-long journey. It may mean loads of pain and rejection. And accept that
this journey, this process - and not the outcome - is your ultimate reward.

3/29/09: Excuse Management 101
We all come up with excuses not to do stuff. Even when we're in the zone,
that little voice can come on and try to derail us. The worst guys are those
AFC friends of yours. You tell them about the game, all the cool tactics,
meeting hot girls, going on dates. And they all have a bunch of excuses
why you suck, the game is manipulative, the girls are all sluts, and they're
just fine either playing WoW night after night, or banging the same lowvalue ug for 3 years.
But that excuse-spewing mentality follows many of us into the community
too. We see that SHB12 turbo surrounded by 5 thugs, and we don't
approach. Or we see a 2-set paying their bill at the bar and we don't
approach. Or we don't get a # or go for the pull, et cetera.
Excuses are counterproductive. In all but the rare occasion, the excuse is
not a reflection of reality, and even if it is, so what? If a girl is talking to her
boyfriend, is that reason enough not to socialize with them? No, it's not.
So why do we spit so many excuses? The reason is self-preservation. It's
not that opening that mixed set will get your ass whooped for real. It's
highly unlikely. More likely, you'll get rejected by the set, and your ego will
be bruised. And so when I say self-preservation, I'm referring to your egoic
mind. Your ego can't stand the rejection. By caving in to your excuses, you
aren't doing your body any favors...just catering to the Ego.
Step 1: Don't hate, appreciate. The excuse is a form of self-preservation.
Now, you can listen to the excuse if you so choose. You can argue with it
or validate it. But where will that get you? You'll just end up feeling a bunch
of resistance and angst. So...
Step 2: Hear the excuse out. Just listen to it. Don't try to argue with it. Don't
validate it either.
Ok, that little voice has had its say. "Don't open...she's too hot for you."
"Don't open...you're having fun talking to your wing." "Don't ask her to come
home with you...she'll probably say no." Good. Now...
Step 3: Set the excuse aside.
and
Step 4: Do what needs to be done. Go open. Escalate. Get the #.
Whatever your instincts or your drive are telling you to do, do it. Listen to
your core and do its bidding.
Your ego may suffer enormously in the process. But the ego is there only
to undermine your self-confidence and progress, so strive to squash it.

4/17/09: Presence
A whiles back I was getting flakes through the roof. Like, one weekend I
had 4 flakes. So I asked my wing Lysander if this meant I wasn't as
awesome as I thought I was. I mean, if I were really this great catch, why
couldn't I get girls to show up for a day 2?
What he told me has stuck with me. Which is, it's not who you are, but how
you broadcast it.
I realize now a huge factor behind unresponsiveness is your failure to leave
the girl with a strong sense of your presence. And presence is a pyramid of
three things. Here they are...
1. Starting at the base of the pyramid, you have ME (for lack of a better
word). It's all my core values, beliefs, identity, passions, missions, and also
what I look like, my avatar, my bank account and pricey car. All that crap. It
all makes up ME. Me is not particularly fluid. Who I am today will be pretty
much the same as who I am tomorrow. My core is not apt to change from
day to day.
The problem AFCs run into is thinking Me is the most important thing
needed to get the ladies. As in 'I don't understand. I'M so fucking great.
How come girls can't appreciate ME for who I am?'
And so they beat girls over the head with Me. Me is a big blunt object, like
a hammer. Bang bang bang! Why don't they love ME?!
But Me is not enough. You may have the best resume on the planet and be
a total saint, but that just won't cut it. Sorry.
2. More important, and higher up on the pyramid of presence, are
congruence and acceptance.
If you are not congruent, or if you resist, Me won't be all that memorable.
I'm a doctor, but when I got into the game I always resisted telling people
this. Now I accept it. Same for my height. I resisted talking about it. Now I
accept and talk freely about it. I totally accept who I am.
Resistance leads to being incongruent. I don't accept that I am x, y, z and
so I'm gonna act somehow differently. Tada...incongruence.
Along those lines, if your inner and outer game are not congruent, you lose.
If your verbal communication doesn't match your nonverbals, you get shot
down. You are merely a beta emulating an alpha until you reach a level of
total congruence. And when you do, presence follows.
Guys who are cocky/funny dbags leave a sense of presence when they
totally accept who they are and say things congruently. So here we see
that Me can be a total ass (as extreme as Charles Manson or Jim Jones),
but none of that matters if there is full congruence and acceptance of
oneself.
I've known people born with missing limbs, and those who get amputations.
The ones born amputees have no sense of grief or anger, no resistance.
Their missing limb is not something they consider relevant to their
attractiveness. Those with acquired amputations however can spend the
rest of their lives grieving their loss, and can turn it into a major obstacle to
attraction. The difference boils down to acceptance.
Embrace who you are, your best quality and your worst. Even if you think
people will consider you a nerd, own it. Be 150% nerd. If you're an jerk, be
150% jerk. Trying to downplay a trait is incongruent and resistant. Even if
it's a flaw. Yup, I'm a mamma's boy. Yup, I'm looking for a suga mamma.
Yup, I love chasing skirts. Whatevs. It's your reality. Bring girls into it and
never apologize for who you are.
THAT'S the guy girls will remember. Not some wishy washy pussy who's
half-ashamed of who he is.
3. At the tip of the pyramid is the ability to effectively broadcast Me. It is the
most important aspect of presence. Far more important than Me is knowing
how to tell girls who I am - or more accurately, how to make them feel who
I am. I guess we'd call this personality.
While Me is a big dull hammer, personality is a finely tuned, sharp knife. It
takes small maneuvers and little effort for personality to work. Sometimes
it's so fine we can't tell how or why it works.
Me is something I can improve with effort if I so choose. But I wouldn't
suggest you fret all that much over it. There are plenty of guys who don't
work out, don't work, live with their parents, have crappy cars...getting lots
of girls. This is because these guys accept who they are, are fully
congruent inside and out, and know how to broadcast their core effectively.
Meanhwhile, there are many, many successful, good-hearted men sitting
alone at home night after night.
Instead, focus on the top two tiers, and you will develop much greater
presence.

4/26/09: The 3 Elements of Game
There are only 3 major elements to game. That's it. Three things you need
in place to get girls to show up on a day 2 and fuck you. Forget everything
else you know, this is all you need. All the other tactics and gambits just
feed into these 3 elements, like streams into rivers. Here they be...
1. PRESENCE. I outlined this recently. As a reminder, presence is a
pyramid. The bottom is Me, the middle is congruence and acceptance, the
top is personality. Presence is measured in depth. So you can be deeply
fascinating to a woman. You may not have to spend much time with her for
her to feel your presence.
2. COMFORT. Girls need to feel comfortable with you. Not just that, but
they need to get a sense of you as a real person, not some dude she just
made out with in a club. Comfort is mostly a time-based variable. A little
depth to it, but mostly time. So the chode in the office can spend 8 hours a
day with the office hottie, day after day, and eventually wear her down so
she goes out with him. Even if he has no strong presence, just by spending
a lot of time with him, she will feel comfortable. Of course, too much
comfort and you're in the friend zone.
3. FUCKINESS. I can't think of any other word that would aptly describe
this. It's like horniness, sex-worthiness, sex drive all mixed together. It is
what makes her feel the urge to drop to all fours and take it from behind by
you. A very primal, animalistic drive. Not ego-based like giving you a hand
job in the club. But a true desire to fuck your brains out. Fuckiness is not
measured in time; you can pull a girl to the bathroom in a few minutes. It is
not measured in depth; girls aren't usually a little horny for your penor or
very horny. It's like a toggle switch: ON, OFF. You can be fingering a girl
who is getting close to orgasm, then break her state and have to start all
over. So fuckiness can come and go very very quickly.
So what is fuckiness measured in? Force. Like BOOM! She wants to fuck.
A massive sudden explosion inside her mind that makes her wild with
passion. Or BOOM it's gone just as fast.
Ok. So. Now that you know what the 3 variables are, how do you control
them?
Well, presence I already discussed in depth, so review that thread. To get
a girl comfortable, you spend a lot of time with her. 5 minutes in set isn't
enough. Spend 15, 20, 40 minutes in set. Let her get to know you. Whether
you vibe with her or run comfort routines, make sure you spend time
building her comfort level. And lastly, to get girls feeling fucky, be dominant
physically. Makeout. Violate her personal space. Lead her around. All that
stuff that fires her circuits.
You don't need all these variables in equal amounts. And some you can
even skip. If you have massive presence and are really good-looking, you
don't need much comfort, for example. But start tweaking around with
these three and see where your weakness is. By working on those areas, I
bet your responsiveness will improve.
Appendix 6
BangBang's Guide to Being a Better Lover
There is so much more to sex than just finding a willing hole and getting
yourself off. Unfortunately, for a lot of women, this is the attitude of a
majority of men that they meet. The way I see it, one of the simplest things
a man can do is to be proficient at pleasuring a woman; simple, yes, but
the return on the investment is immeasurable.
The problem stems from the scarcity mindset of most men, meaning that
they rarely have sex, therefore when they do find a willing partner, they
have one thought in mind and that is of getting themselves off. What these
men fail to realize is that were they to take their time and ensure that their
partner had an amazing sexual experience, it would certainly lead to many
more.
There are so many parts to a satisfying sexual experience, so as to not
overlook any of them, let’s start with the basics:
KISSING
Simple, right? If you think so, you’re doing it wrong. Kissing is in fact
something that seems so simple that it is often not given the proper
attention to be done correctly and in a way that will start a woman on her
way to an amazing orgasm. How do I know this? Well, I happen to have
been fortunate enough to have brought a woman to orgasm, simply by
kissing her. True story. Keep reading and you’ll understand how.
Many women will tell you that the type of kisser a man is is a very good
indicator of the type of lover he will be. If a man is rushed and forceful, she
will get the idea that he will be the same in bed, in a hurry and not willing to
take the time required to bring her to orgasm. However, if a man takes his
time and ensures that the experience of kissing is an incredible one, she
can only imagine how amazing having sex with that man will be.
The point is, TAKE YOUR TIME, and avoid making these common
mistakes:
Rushing
► Kissing is not a boring preview you have to sit through
before the feature presentation of sexual intercourse. It is a
key part of the storyline of the feature presentation which if
skipped over or rushed through will result in the audience (in
this case the woman) being completely unsatisfied with the
overall experience.
Octopus Arms
► Kissing is a SENSUAL experience for a woman. SENSUAL
experiences are all about the SENSES and therefore can be
ruined by too much of a good thing. The tendency of most men
is to try to get as far as they can as fast as they can, so while
they are kissing or “making out” with a woman, their hands
tend to be all over the place, trying to steal a feel of a breast or
trying to subtly work their way into a woman’s pants as if they
will go unnoticed. All of these are simply distractions to a
woman when done prematurely, thereby lessening her overall
experience and lowering the amount of arousal which can be
achieved. FOCUS on the activity at hand, secure in the
knowledge that when done correctly, you won’t need to try to
find your way into her pants; she will open the door for you.
Tongue Drilling
► There is a time and a place for everything and when first
exploring kissing a new partner, the last thing a woman wants
is his tongue jammed down her throat within the first 2
minutes. There are two types of kissing, sensual kissing and
deep kissing. The former is where you should focus at first.
The use of the tongue should come into play GRADUALLY
over the course of the session, gaining steadily in intensity
until sexual intercourse is imminent.
A.D.D.
► To increase the sensual experience of kissing a woman,
both for you and for her, immerse yourself completely in the
experience, in the moment or the NOW, as if that was all that
there was, the only thing that mattered.
Make a conscious effort to actively avoid these common pitfalls and you
are already one step ahead of the majority of mediocre men, and well on
your way to being a better lover.
KISSING TECHNIQUE
As stated previously, but it bears repeating, TAKE YOUR TIME. Start out
slowly, keeping in mind that anticipation of something often adds to the
experience, so use this to your advantage; it will also come into play later
on when you’re going down on her, but more on that later.
Variety truly is the spice of life so don’t just lock lips and think that’s all
there is to it. Vary things like pressure and position to get her wanting you
to go further. Trace her lips gently with your tongue, gently bite her lower
lip, part her lips with your tongue until you feel hers coming to meet yours
then pull back. If her tongue follows yours into your mouth, you’ll know
you’re doing it right.
At the beginning, keep your hands above her waist and off of her breasts;
there’ll be time for that later. Concentrate on other erogenous zones which
typically get less attention like the back of her neck at her hairline, the sides
of her face and the nape of her neck. Even her lower back, just above the
line of her jeans but under her shirt; gently running your fingers along,
barely touching her skin can send a chill right up her spine.
This is a very personal experience and everyone should develop their own
style. Here are a few things that can be mixed and matched, and should be
a part of everyone’s technique:
Tease
► Not all kissing has to be open mouthed. Take some time to
hold back, but keep your lips barely touching hers, gently
rubbing together. If she tries to push for a kiss, pull back
slightly, then kiss her. This type of cat and mouse teasing will
not only increase her desire for more, but it will give you subtle
clues as to when she wants to go further.
Touch
► Not just lips. Touching her exposed skin will wake up her
senses and help to heighten her experience later on when the
stimulation is on a sexual level. Lower back, shoulders, upper
arms, neck and hairline (from the back, under the hair) are all
places to target. Your touch should be hard enough to feel, but
just barely above a tickle. It may take some trial and error to
get the amount of pressure right, but it’s worth it.
Lips are lips
► Her tongue is the clit. The same rules apply to kissing that
do to going down on her. This may be the single most
important thing to remember. Most men go right for a tongue
down; the same men would go straight for her clit if they were
going down on a woman. As you get better at going down you
will learn that the amount of time you spend away from the clit
is almost as important, if not more important, than the time you
spend on her clit. The same applies to kissing. The amount of
time you spend with her lips and away from her tongue is just
as important as introducing your tongue to hers. In the end, if
you can kiss her in a way that gets her thinking about you
going down on her and then go down on her while
remembering how you kissed her, you will have increased the
level of sensual experience ten-fold. ENGAGING HER MIND
IN THIS WAY IS AS IMPORTANT AS STIMULATING HER
BODY.
FOREPLAY
Many of the same principles that apply to kissing still apply here,
especially, TAKE YOUR TIME. The major mistake made by most men at
this point is focusing on getting in her pants, thinking that this will be the
fastest way to sex. However, in actuality, the opposite is almost always
true. Going straight into her pants will likely cause too fast an escalation
which is an almost surefire way to overwhelm her and cause her to pull
back and put an end to the session.
These concepts will keep you moving in the right direction:
Work from the top down.
► Think in terms of 4 levels: Face, Breasts, Legs and
Midsection/Genitals. (No, that’s not out of order.)
♥
When a level is your focus, the next level is being
“warmed up” through gentle/light stimulation.
♥ Pay attention! She will let you know if you’re moving
too fast or too slow and will give you clues as to what
she wants. The speed at which you progress will
depend greatly on the individual woman so PAY
ATTENTION. Calibrate.
♥
*We already covered Face in the Kissing section
above so we’ll go on from there.*
Tease the “target.”
► “Target” refers to the most sensitive part of the level you are
at:
♥ Face = Tongue
♥ Breasts = Nipples
♥ Legs = Hip seam where the leg meets the torso
♥ Midsection / Genitals = Clit
► Work towards a build up of stimulation, increasing in
intensity until you reach the target. This build up if done
correctly, will result in the woman desperate to have you at the
target long before you get there, which will increase the
pleasure she feels when you finally do. The concept of
Pleasure Delay is a very powerful thing.
CUNNILINGUS*
*(This is optional and not something which everyone enjoys, both men and
women. If you are one of those who do enjoy it or if your partner does,
keep reading.)
Just like there are generally two types of female orgasm, Internal and
External, there are generally two types of women, those who respond
better to Internal Stimulation and those who respond better to External
Stimulation. Knowing which one you are dealing with is the first step in
giving her the best orgasm she’s ever had.
Internal women will tend to have highly sensitive clits which when
stimulated almost overload them with sensory input. It has been described
almost as a ticklish type of feeling rather than one of sexual pleasure. This
doesn’t mean that you cannot stimulate these women externally, but it
requires the right technique.
External women will tend to have trouble achieving orgasm during
intercourse due to lack of sufficient clitoral stimulation. Often times, these
women will “only cum when she’s on top” due to the friction they can use to
stimulate their own clit on the lower part of your stomach while they ride
you. Introducing these women to an internal orgasm will produce an
experience for them which is much more intense than what they are used
to; you just need to get them past the sensation that comes with G-spot
stimulation. When stimulated correctly, a woman will experience a
sensation which she may falsely interpret as an overwhelming urge to
urinate. She doesn’t have to urinate, it’s just what the sensation is telling
her. This can cause her to hold back and stop herself from experiencing
the orgasm for fear of embarrassment. See the discussion on squirting in
the Sex chapter. By addressing this, you can assuage her fears as well as
have her ask you how you know these things (which is a good thing). If
she’s worried, you can suggest she use the bathroom and can even go so
far as putting down a towel to assure her that there won’t be a mess. When
she doesn’t urinate, but instead has the most intense orgasm of her life,
she’ll thank you. Over and over and over.
When going down on a woman, it’s important to know which type of
stimulation she responds best to. If your head is between her legs, chances
are good that she’s already given you the clues you needed during
foreplay. Did she respond well to you touching her clit, or did she respond
more intensely when you put your finger inside her? PAY ATTENTION!
The following approaches will give you a good foundation on which to build
your own personal technique:
Internal women
► Start off with gentle stimulation. Refer to the kissing
technique section, “Lips are lips.” Your main focus at this point
should not be her clit, but rather the area just to the left side of
it. Focusing your tongue here will cause indirect clitoral
stimulation, the type needed to offset any oversensitivity.
► Continue the external stimulation while beginning to
stimulate her G-spot. This is best done by introducing your
finger, typically the middle finger as it is the longest, with the
palm face up, curling the tip of the finger towards you as if
making a ‘come here’ type motion. To ensure you can get
sufficient pressure (which will vary widely depending on the
woman and her body type) you can use your other hand,
placed on the top lower part of her pelvis, to both pull back the
hood to expose her clit as well as to apply gentle downward
pressure to bring the wall of the vagina closer to your finger.
*NOTE – take care to not apply too much pressure or to be too
blatant about what you are doing, or it will feel eerily similar to
what her doctor does during her routine pelvic exam. NOT the
best image for her to have at this point.
► Once you’ve stimulated her G-spot, you should be able to
increase the amount of stimulation to her clit. But do so slowly,
a little bit at a time to gauge how she responds. Overwhelming
her at this point can put her off her orgasm, so less is more.
Pay attention and use the clues she gives you to balance the
amount of internal and external stimulation. Some women will
prefer more of one than the other, so calibration is key.
External women
► Start off with gentle stimulation. Refer to the kissing
technique section, “Lips are lips”. As with Internal women, your
focus at the beginning should not be her clit, but for different
reasons. With Internal women, not focusing on the clit serves
to avoid overstimulation caused by oversensitivity. Here, not
focusing on the clit allows you to prolong the sensual
experience which in turn will serve as a “Pleasure Delay”
technique. Pleasure Delay techniques help to build intensity,
by bringing a woman to the peak of sensation, just prior to
orgasm, then coming down slightly before being brought up to
the brink again; except this time, the peak will be higher.
► Internal stimulation can be introduced at this point. However
just as oversensitivity can be a stumbling block with an internal
woman, the perceived urge to urinate can be a stumbling block
with an external woman. That is not to say it will be so in ALL
cases; again calibration is key. Follow the motions outlined in
the second step under Internal women above. If she seems to
not enjoy the new sensation, calibrate and balance the
external and internal stimulation to favor her clit. Over time,
you can increase the internal stimulation as she adjusts to the
new sensations she experiences.
► With clitoral stimulation there are a number of techniques:
slow and gentle, hard and fast, circular motions. How you get
there is up to you, just remember these two things:
♥
From the beginning of stimulation to approaching
orgasm, variety is your friend.
♥ Once she is close to orgasm, consistency is key.
What this means is that during the rise in stimulation,
continuing with the same motion can cause a desensitization
of the clit, making it harder for her to reach climax. In the
beginning, feel free to use different techniques, but remember
to PAY ATTENTION and calibrate accordingly.
Once she has gotten close to orgasm (more on how to tell in a
bit) it’s time for you to find the one technique she responded to
best and keep doing that. Consistent pressure and speed is
key to getting her over the peak and have an amazing orgasm.
Never be afraid to think outside of the box and develop techniques of your
own. For example, going down on a woman as if you were making out with
her can be an intense sensation for her and result in a powerful orgasm, as
it will engage both her mind by reminding her of how you were kissing her.
The effect will be lasting, because when you find yourself kissing her again
another time, guess what she may very well find herself thinking about?
BINGO!
SIGNS YOU’RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK
Women will not always be confident enough to tell you what they like or
when something feels good, but they will ALWAYS let you know. It is
YOUR job to be able to pick up the clues she gives you and proceed
accordingly. Some of the things to look for:
► Changes in her breathing (deeper and faster are better)
► Changes in her skin tone (most women tend to flush red in the
face and chest just prior to and during orgasm)
► Changes in her movement (when she starts moving more than
she had been or in a particular direction, she's found a spot that's
being hit that she likes. Do NOT fight it. Work with it and when in
doubt, LET HER LEAD!)
► Kissing (this will often increase or become deeper the closer she
gets to orgasm)
Paying attention to your partner in this way will help you calibrate your
techniques to the individual you are with in a way that will help her have a
more intense orgasm than she has had before.
ROUND TWO
In some cases you can get her right back up again. Typically the second
will take less time than the first, BUT the KEY to having that work is to
completely change your technique from the end of the first orgasm to the
start of the second. For example, if you were using quick stimulation of her
clit with a fair amount of pressure to get her off the first time, SLOW and
soft will get you there the second time, and vice versa.
If her clit is too sensitive after the first orgasm, internal stimulation will take
her mind off of her clit and get her started toward her second orgasm. After
that, when she's almost there, you can go back and stimulate her clit as
well, which usually gets the job done fantastically.
Appendix 7
The Blueprint
By Owen Cook (aka Tyler Durden), Real Social Dynamics
TD held a four-day seminar in L.A. to explain his Blueprint. The program is
a transformative process, so it is highly recommended that you watch it.
What follows is a cursory overview of the concepts presented.
TD realized one night that his pick-up success was based merely on a shell
of routines and tactics, and that his inner self was seriously flawed. So he
set forth trying to figure out how to not DO pickup, but to BE pickup. He
devised the Blueprint, the purpose of which is to create a complete identitylevel change as a man, so one never needs to worry about AA or
performing.
Men and women are equal. Much of PU is based on the concept that
women are higher value than men, and tactics are used to raise your value/
lower her value. This concept is entirely wrong.
Most people in the world walk through life in a walking daze.
They don't know what values they have, who they are, and are controlled
by others. The things men think will get the girl are misconceptions,
including money, appearance, romance or friendship first.
Social conditioning. We don't know how things work. Airplanes. Buildings.
Society. We assume others know how these things work, and we generally
defer decision-making and authority to society. We are conditioned to do
this. It is both a gift and a curse. Make it work for you.
You will listen to someone and think it's true if that person seems certain, is
centered, and others agree with him. Therefore, this concept:
Ideas, no matter how stupid, can spread like wildfire.
Appreciate society, but distinguish what is real and not, and don't look to
others to know how to think or act.
The root of attraction is VALUE.
Value is anything that gives you good emotions, helps you survive or helps
your kids to survive. Men and women have different value systems. Shortterm value for a man is appearance.
For women, it's resourcefulness, decisiveness and confidence. These are
manifested via subcommunication. Therefore it takes a second for a man
to become attracted, but it takes a longer time for a woman to gain
attraction. In short, men are visual, women are behavioral.
Most women are better at reading subtle subcoms, but men can train
themselves to be as good. Women read these subcoms from second to
second and in real time, so a woman's attraction can change just as
suddenly. This is not the case for a man's attraction to a woman. Subcoms
are far more important than anything you can logically say to a woman.
We have become a spectator society. We allow others to have the glory
and are content watching them. We can't relate to other aspects of the
world because we never experience them except through TV. Believe in a
life of your own design, and turn off the TV. Go for the glory for yourself.
Ignore what others may think.
When you see a new girl, your mind asks if you're good enough, so you're
looking to society to see if you have enough value. Dictate your own
standards. Always come from a place of high standards and abundance.
This will affect the subcom to a woman and she will seek your validation.
Don't live in reaction to others. Never compromise your values.
We start off looking for tactics because it gives us the immediate results.
When we realize we aren't getting the results, we looks at the principles. In
the world of PU, this means walking up to any person and being centered
and confident, or 'yourself.' If you can't do this, there is work to be done.
The self is always coming through.
As long as you're cool, you can say the dumbest things and people will buy
it. You can have the worst body language and material, but if your inner
game is tight, it won't matter.
Value
If you have low value, nothing else about you matters. If you're high value,
people will focus in on one good aspect in spite of other bad flaws. Women
will rationalize and impose good qualities on a high value man in spite of
negative attributes. Value tends to be the most important attractor.
The RAS (Reticular Activation System) filters out what is of no value, and
focuses on what is of value. This is automatic. PUAs can learn how to use
the RAS of others in their favor.
Situational value. On its own, it has no value, but in a specific situation it
holds value. Situational confidence. An environment can make you feel
totally confident...you assume value. Like a DJ in a club or a professor in
class.
Knowing you have value prompts you to feel more attractive. You go
outside your head, and are in the moment. To the contrary, you
micromanage and stay inside your head when you feel you have no value.
Being outside your head feels natural and is attractive. Enjoy yourself, say
what's on your mind, be detached from outcome, roll with it, be present,
assume everyone is your friend.
The key to making people like you is to express your personality freely.
Stay out of your head or you WILL lose the girl.
Reactiveness
Reacting to others is handing your power away. Someone with core
confidence can enjoy the moment regardless of his situation, as opposed
to someone who relies on situational confidence. Whoever has the most
people reacting to him and is the most indifferent is the most attractive
person. Core confidence allows you to enter any social setting by yourself
and have a good time.
Love
Love is not caused by someone else; you cause it yourself. You take a
concept of a person and objectify that person or turn them into something
they aren't.
Chode love. He has a gap in his self-esteem, and this gap gets plugged by
another person and he then feels 'normal.' This is a form of situational
confidence.
PUA love. Non-attached to outcome, has abundance personality.
Women appreciate a man offering value, not looking to fill a gap. Always
be self-fulfilled, independent of women. This is when love will enter your
life.
Identity
Identity relates you to and separates you from your social environment.
Identity is how we process the world. It can help you or hold you back. Your
sense of identity stops you from being the person you want to be. Much of
your identity is arbitrary. It gets shaped at a young age by positive and
negative influences. You did not develop most of your identity by yourself.
Much comes from social feedback, dependent on validation by others. Your
core essence is always there, but your personality traits are often in
reaction to your environment.
We create a self-image based on what people say about us, especially
those who seem sure of themselves. There is social pressure that
motivates you to be a certain person.
Imprints
Conscious and unconscious impressions in your mind of what a cool
person looks like. These are imprints in your mind that generate a reaction.
Your situation is always changing and as it does, you're looking at
social feedback to figure out how much value you have and what role
is appropriate at that time.
Your mind is letting or not letting you be a certain person.
State
Being in state is liberating. Being positive, dominant, natural, everything
clicks, you are the source of good emotions, total abundance, nothing
could go wrong. Out of state means other people are the source of good
emotions. You feel alienated, like you're bothering people by talking to
them. Being in state subcoms value, abundance and authenticity. If you
find you aren't in state, go through the motions anyway. Never monitor
state. Don't resist it if you find you aren't in state.
Resistance: It is the emotion you feel when you wish that the reality in front
of you was some different way. It can manifest in the form of anger or
depression.
If you wish you were in state, resistance is created. You are resisting the
reality that you aren't in state. Never resist the Now. But know when you
need to change reality and take right action to correct it. Resistance puts
you more out of state. You are identifying with the emotion while you
should be just accepting it and taking right action.
That which you resist...persists.
To get into state, cultivate:
1. Right action
2. Non-resistance
Conflicting realities
Your sense of reality lets you predict things about the world, including how
people should treat you. A man and a woman each have a strong sense of
reality. These are unspoken in the dynamics between them. One is
screening, the other is trying to impress. This can be obvious or subtle. The
one going more into their head to exert effort is the one reacting or trying to
impress.
Which person would feel emotionally affected by the other person's
acceptance, and who would feel no change? Who is losing their concept of
what's cool, and who feels no change? Who is changing the way they talk,
and who sets the tone? Who is having just as much fun without the other
person there?
Those who are unreactive are non-needy of validation by others, not
thrown by the realities of others. Nonreactive means being expressive and
yourself, on your own terms. Don't allow girls to push you into the role of
reacting or impressing. Stay upbeat, positive and you. In general, be totally
deaf to negativity. However, don't take on the role of asserting your reality
over others.
Trust in your faculties. Most people don't trust themselves and must look to
others for guidance.
Girls will do congruence testing to see how rooted in your reality you are.
As you react to others, you are saying that you value other people's
opinions more than your own faculties. In contrast, if you allow comments
of others to bounce off you, you trust yourself more.
Social pinging
Most unwavering certainty + Least emotional reactivity = Dominant reality
Someone who is doing social pinging is looking around the world for what
is right. But eventually more attention is given to the one with the dominant
reality. Men invite women into their reality. Women go from man to man
exploring their realities. She will gravitate towards the man with the reality
that gives the most good emotions.
4 pillars of a strong reality
1. How strong your beliefs are. Who you are. Status. Identity. Being
unreactive.
2. Your values. Opinions, humor. Not intimidated by a girl's looks. You are
screening.
3. Personal boundaries. You know what is acceptable behavior from others
and demand it and respect from them.
4. How you expect others to act around you: they should be fun and valueoffering. If a woman isn't meeting your values, you don't pay attention to
her.
Build your reality like you build muscle. Tear it down and let it rebuild. Lean
into your fears, pushing your capabilities. Learn to laugh at yourself. Let go
of caring about what people think of you. Find the lesson in every difficult
experience.
Polarity
Masculine polarity is your grounding amidst emotional chaos, the magnet
that draws women. Act through your own intentions. You see something
you want, you take it. Dictate the energy around you.
Women have masculine and feminine sides. A woman can only explore her
feminine side if she's with a man who is secure and congruent.
Congruence tests check for:
1. Your strength of reality
2. Your ability to assert yourself as a man
Being centered and dictating the energy draws people in.
Act through your own intentions. This is developed over years of removing
all the programming that's gotten you to act without your own intentions.
Being authentic will allow you to pass all tests. Men should allow her to pull
him, but then regain their center, as opposed to chasing.
This is done by demonstrating your masculine polarity:
Being at home in the environment
Carrying yourself with total confidence, even playful cockiness
Self-amusing
Moving the convo in the fun direction
Not taking orders, responding to nonsense, or needing to justify yourself
The difference between men and women:
Man = action. Girl = reaction.
Women want to experience a range of emotions. Men have a sweet spot
(happy, excited, sex, chill).
Women draw state from the environment to feel this variety. Men draw
state from within, so flux is minimized.
Realizing this, men need to draw motivation from within, not the
environment. The polarity comes from slowing down your reality and
becoming centered. You are connected to your masculine power.
Experience consciousness without being self-conscious. Don't be a doer,
but let things happen through you.
The environment is chaotic. You must find a grounding force which is
primarily within. Seeking reactions from others is looking for state from the
environment. When you are in habit of drawing state from within, a girl's
reactions do not affect you.
Thinking
Clear your head when you approach a woman, and just feel good. What
you say is valuable because it comes from you. What makes it interesting
is not the content, but because you find it interesting.
While thinking can be an asset, in meeting women it's your greatest
hindrance. You should have a childlike 'I see, I take' attitude. Listen to the
girl instead of thinking what to say next. Don't try to judge, compare, label
or interpret her words. Don't feel compelled to fill in the gaps in the
conversation. Don't resist tension.
Be fully present. Trust your faculties; they are your autopilot. There is no
need to look back at past events to reference self. Trust the words will
come without straining towards an outcome.
Walking through the world with ease
The convergence of the above concepts to make the world a light place to
be in. Move with the current of the world, not against. You aren't better or
worse, just an important part of the whole. You will be self-forgetting, not
self-conscious. People will look to you as a source of grounding energy.
This is about being, not doing.
Anticipated responses
Assume people will like you for who you are as a person. Don't seek
approval.
Less attractive women have bitch shields because when a high value man
approaches she assumes he's toying with her. They verbalize their doubts
because they have low self esteem. This is her anticipated response. This
keeps her reality intact.
This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Through your beliefs, the reality in your
head becomes the reality of your life. Therefore, always assume the best in
others. Create a self-fulfilling prophecy where women love you. People will
get sucked into this reality.
This will protect your state when shit tested or AMOGd. Even if your
comeback isn't the better answer, as long as you believe it is, your state
will be intact and you'll pass the test. The self-fulfilling prophecy will come
to exist.
Microbehaviors
These include subcoms like body language, eye contact and tonality, and
very subtle cues like pupil dilation. The point isn't to understand and
manipulate all of these behaviors. The point is to be fully flowing in the
moment so all these microbehaviors will occur naturally. Attraction will
occur as a result.
Flinching or retreating into your mind is caused by doubting yourself.
Anticipating responses only works if you do not retreat into your head.
Have fun, so you get out of your head. Disconnect from the knowledge
when in field.
Have a value-giving mindset
Believe that women want sex as much as you, and so you're offering value
by talking to her. When you are always giving value and not taking value,
the subcoms will make women see you have integrity.
Fully believe in yourself
Trust in a foreign set of bearings. When we decide to take on new
bearings, we must then gain reference experiences so we can trust these
bearings.
A baby gets up and learns to walk by persevering, without crises.
Eventually the baby learns, has anticipated responses of what it takes to
walk, and then internalizes this, and is in the moment so he never has to
think about walking again.
PU is just like learning how to walk. You must obtain reference experiences
so you can trust the bearings and then internalize them. Second-hand
knowledge and social conditioning tell us not to talk to strangers, etc. When
we start out at game we haven't had 1st hand knowledge of what is socially
acceptable.
The newbie's paradox:
Like putting in a contact lens, we must learn not to flinch. When a newbie
approaches he'll get negative experiences because he doesn't have an
unwavering belief. But to gain reference experiences you need an
unwavering belief.
You must fully believe everything you do works, and be totally indifferent if
it doesn't. You must feel that PU is 'no big deal' and that anyone can do it.
In fact, surpass belief and move to understanding.
How do you get out of newbie's paradox? The half-way point between total
belief and fear is indifference. You can't cultivate total belief. You can
gather reference experiences that it doesn't matter what people think of
you. Getting shot down every night will reinforce this. Eventually you will
cross the indifference threshold, truly letting go of outcome. Suddenly,
people become nicer and open up.
A woman's system is designed to only respond to you if you're confident
because this indicates success with other women. Her system wants to
prevent putting out chode babies. You must scramble your brain with so
many reference experiences that it explodes. Your mind is always looking
for normal, permissible behavior. As you do something and find it is normal
and permissible, your mind realizes you can do it, and you become
unstifled.
Stifling
Stifling tells you not to extend beyond a certain range. Don't let your voice
get too loud, take up other people's time, take up too much space. When
you stifle, your unconscious mind keeps you down in unusual new
environments. Be able to detect your stifling, and unstifle if it happens.
The difference between a good and bad night can be your level of stifling.
Being unstifled gives a richness to your voice and BL, which is what a
woman is responding to. Don't try to be confident, but be indifferent and
unstifled.
As you cross the indifference threshold, you get a better new identity.
Eventually a click happens, where you realize this new identity is better,
and a lot of microbehaviors then occur automatically.
Social vibing
Vibing is a habit you develop. You shouldn't be logical or trying to prove
yourself. People are addicted to negativity or positivity, which are emotional
states. You can condition yourself to be positive. Being in a logical state
makes it hard to be in an emotional environment (like a club). Vibing is
nonlinear/illogical, as is wit. Being relaxed allows images to arise in your
head so you can respond in a witty way.
2 bearings you must trust:
1. Girls can like you just for you.
2. Sex is inevitable.
Sex is good to blow off steam or cement a moment, but is not a big deal.
Sex just always winds up happening. Internalizing this is key.
The "It didn't work" moment
Things aren't going well for you but you see what would fix it. So you set
out to achieve these goals, often to excess. You find then that it didn't work,
and you still aren't happy. Insanity is when you get what you want and
you're still not satisfied. Having an abundance of sex can still not be
satisfying.
You can create a false identity, getting the admiration of others (such as
being a 'pick-up artist'). But this is starving your self-esteem while feeding
the ego. You are more distant from your real self while strongly identifying
with the PU persona. This will be ok during early game but it will block the
close because you're not being yourself or acting through your own
intentions.
Ego vs self-esteem
Most people don't realize that confidence and feeling good about one's self
are the default state. Happiness is your default state. You can be happy
without all the other things you've tried to obtain.
Self-esteem. Indescribable, like soul. Born with it. Self-sustaining.
Ego. When self-esteem becomes wounded, you seek a rational
substitute...money, power, status, women. As a kid you approach people
without AA. You're happy all the time. But then you get wounded, for many
reasons. To protect yourself, you come up with logical ways to feel good.
This is based on comparisons to others, and the ego develops from this
perspective.
The ego is false. Most people don't have perfect memories; memories are
twisted to get the result you want. The ego seems huge, but is very tiny
and stuck in the front of your perception. To get past it, you must dilate
your perception.
Ego consists of:
1. Logical evidence.
2. Opinions.
3. Rationalizations.
4. Comparisons.
The ego shelters us from the unknown, but life is the unknown. We create
an identity based on our wounds. The ego needs constant reference
material to support it (obtaining things like wealth and women to try to heal
the wound). Self-esteem is feeling good now on your own.
You make an identity out of an old wound, thinking it's unique, while in fact
many other people share the same wound. The ego is the scar that forms
around the wound. Accept the wound, and the ego will go away. Accept
your flaws, accept the flaws of others. Become comfortable in your own
skin.
The result is anti-climactic.
The result can never be as good as the doing, the Now. Feeling good now
working towards a goal, and feeling good when you reach the goal, are the
same thing. Offering value makes the process worth-while.
Seeking reaction to feed the ego is value-taking. Value offering is
attractive. Taking value is a repellent.
Self-amusement. Open by making yourself amused. Bring the party. Don't
try to wedge yourself into her party. Be authentic.
Needing to feed the ego is exhausting. This state is obtainable but not
sustainable. Ego-based confidence cannot achieve permanence.
Now go forth and sarge!
Decibel