Law School to Pick Up Bar Related Expenses
Transcription
Law School to Pick Up Bar Related Expenses
Friday, 15 April 2011 Volume 63, Number 25 INSIDE Mahoney Wants Geese, Scotch........................................................... 2 When Law Professors Attack.............................................................. 7 Writing a Column - So Easy, a 3L Can Do It............................................. 4 Less Money, Mo’ Problems................................................................. 8 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY The Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 1948 around north grounds Cariello, Gocek win 82nd Lile Moot Court Competition Thumbs up to the faculty and administration for their incredible generosity in offering to pay for bar registration fees and prep classes for unemployed 3Ls. This will come in handy, as the West Virginia Bar has proved surprisingly resistant to ANG’s offer of “payment in kind.” Billy Easley II, ‘13 News Editor On Saturday, Apr. 9, Chris Cariello ‘11 and Dan Gocek ’11 prevailed over Lynzi Archibald ‘11 and Matt Hanson ‘11 in the final round of the 82 nd William Minor Lile Moot Court Competition. Both groups endured arduous questioning and withering hypotheticals from three distinguished judges during the final grueling moot court battle in their law school careers. The judges included the Honorable Barbara M. Keenan of the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals, Eugene E. Siler of the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals, and David Tatel of the D.C. Court of Appeals. As always, the questions presented left room for both sides to make compelling arguments. The problem, crafted by Charles Baldis ‘11, focused on two fertile issues for discussion: First, whether the defendant’s confidentiality had been waived under the dangerous patient exception to the psychotherapist-patient privilege; and second, whether the defendant’s Confrontation Clause rights had been violated in the sentencing phase of the trial. Cariello and Gocek represented the Appellant, Donald Draper. Archibald and Hanson represented the Appellee, the United States. Gocek was the first to argue before the Judges and discussed the issue of waiver for the Appellant. The Judges set the tone early – each of them, especially Judge Tatel, was photo by April Reeves ‘12 Chris Cariello ‘11 and Dan Gocek ‘11 listen to Lynzi Archibald ‘11 and Matt Hansons’ ‘11 arguments. exceptionally engaged and focused on pushing the competitors to clarify or justify their positions. As Gocek advocated a narrow vision of patienttherapist waiver, Judge Keenan warned that adopting the Appellant’s vision of the patienttherapist relationship would lead “psychotherapists [to be regarded] as officers of the state” because it would force therapists to give “perverse warnings” to their patients that they could testify against them in court about what is revealed to them. Judge Tatel, aided by the other Judges on the panel, vigorously questioned Gocek about his belief that Jaffee was not a controlling opinion in the case. The sharp questioning continued when Cariello rose to discuss the Confrontation Clause. He urged the Court to adopt an understanding of the Clause that would allow it to be applied throughout the conviction process, extending to the sentencing phase. At issue was a series of affidavits given to the jury during that phase of the process written by individuals that the defendant was not allowed to confront. When Cariello argued that the “evidence was improperly injected into the process,” Tatel questioned Cariello’s lack of trust in the jury’s ability to sift through the affidavits and determine whether they were relevant to their final determination. When Cariello responded by noting that the affidavits should not have been submitted due to the Supreme Court’s understanding that “death is different,” and that great care should be exerted in the amount of evidence given to juries in such determinations, Judge Kennan noted her skepticism – not satisfied with a mere appeal to the finality of the punishment. Archibald opened the Appellee’s argument in the same direct and poised manner that characterized her performance in the semi-finals. Speaking on the waiver issue, Archibald claimed that the dangerous- patient exception should be recognized and applied in the case before the court. Judge Keenan confronted Archibald with what she called her “favorite question” for lawyers – “How would you write the Court’s opinion?” Archibald responded with three arguments that she believed should guide the Court’s reasoning in finding for the Appellee, relying on public policy arguments founded on the continued danger posed by the appellant. Hanson opened his argument about the Confrontation Clause with a strong statement, framing the defendant’s objection as an attempt to find a “procedural out” to evade his conviction. Judge Keenan disagreed with his framing of the case. Hanson moderated his comment accordingly while maintaining that the use of the Confrontation Clause to excise the evidence at issue was inappropriate. Hanson’s argument was notable for the extended ►LILE page 2 Law School to Pick Up Bar Related Expenses Jordan Fox ‘11 Senior Contributor With graduation fast approaching, the Law School stepped up this week to help students avoid, or at least postpone, a common financial obstacle: fees required to study for and apply to the bar. Students graduating without a job—and thus without a source of revenue to pay for these expenses— are being offered a subsidy that will cover bar applications fees and bar review course tuitions. Unemployed students were notified of the program Monday morning via a letter deposited in their Law School mailboxes from Dean Paul Mahoney. The letter informs students that they will be eligible to receive up to $500 to cover bar application fees and up to $1500 to cover bar review study courses. The funds will come primarily from the Law School coffers, but will also be supplemented by funds donated by Law School faculty and administrators. “Although we know that this is only one facet of the challenges we all face,” Mahoney wrote of the bar-related fees in the letter to students, “we hope that this will provide useful and timely support in obtaining your license to practice.” “This is the time when the whole class will continue to pull together,” said Dean of Career Services Kevin Donovan. Donovan, whose regular brainstorming meetings with Dean Mahoney led to the idea of creating this and other programs meant to assist students navigating the recession-addled legal market, remarks optimistically that this program is intended as a stop gap measure as hiring picks up steam. “If there are people still in the market,” he says, “now is not the time to give up.” Thumbs down to the uncertainty surrounding the annual 3L grapefueled orgy, also known as the 3L wine tour. If it gets canceled, ANG is hosting a Tour de Franzia at the Rte. 29 Food Lion – all the Sunset Blush you can drink, straight from the bag. Thumbs up to this semester’s overly dramatic Trial Ad trials. ANG is available to be a witness, but only if it’s the part of an old prospector or a young nun. Thumbs down to the campus-wide email about career fairs that turned out to be limited to minority students, raising and then immediately dashing the hopes of the Law School’s unemployed white dudes. Thumbs up to an obscure D.C. holiday delaying Tax Day until April 18th. ANG will use the extra time to take a quick business trip to the Cayman Islands. Thumbs up to the new PAs, who will be responsible for shepherding the Class of ’14 through a very vulnerable time in their lives. Chris Hansen and the crew from To Catch a Predator have already booked lodgings at the Omni for the month of August. Thumbs up to WestlawNext for winning the American Association of Law Libraries award for New Product of the Year. Previous winners include the Book (1994), the Internet (2010), and Werther’s Originals (every year). 2 Faculty Forum & News VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY ►LILE precedential papers Apr. 19, 1979 In April, law student humor takes a turn for the grim. continued from page 1 hypothetical Judge Tatel lifted from his brief, questioning him on it intently. After deliberating and naming Gocek and Cariello the winners of the Competition, the Judges announced that Lynzi Archibald had been selected as the Best Oralist in Friday, 15 April 2011 the Final Round. Following these announcements a representative from Paul, Hastings, Janofsky & Walter LLP – which has sponsored the best oralist award for the Lile Competition for the last eight years – revealed the other best oralists from the competition. Third place was awarded to Andrew Bentz ‘12, 2nd to Phillip Sun Koh ‘12, and first to Holly Vradenburgh ‘12. When asked for comment, Matt Hanson described the competition experience as “nerve-wracking and a lot of fun” and noted how much he enjoyed getting his “15 minutes with these Circuit Judges”. Ben Marzouk and Lydie Essama ‘11 praised the finalists’ level of commitment to the competition over the last two years. “These are truly the cream of the crop,” said Essama. Coughlin Delivers Charge to the Class of 2011 Each year for the past several years, a member of the faculty has been chosen by popular vote to deliver the Charge to the Graduating Class. From among a pool of perennial student favorites, the Class of 2011 chose Prof. Coughlin. In her speech, Coughlin said she understood her responsibility in delivering the Charge as helping the Class of 2011 to understand the significance of both their accomplishments here at the Law School and those that awaited them in the future. The graduation of a class, she said, is a time of transition for all of us at U.Va. Law. Coughlin did not shy away from recognizing the challenges – professional and otherwise – faced by the Class of 2011, but she also struck an upbeat tone: Alluding to the economic collapse of 2008 and its impact on many in the audience, she assured the graduating class that they are the ones who will do better than those who came before them, simply because they must. To that end, Couglin offered two pieces of advice: First, take more responsibility and less credit; second, don’t try to go it alone. The Charge was generally well received by the Class of 2011; members of the audience described Coughlin’s speech as surprisingly personal and emotional. Organizers also considered the event a success, with a turnout even better than they had expected. -Evan Mix ‘12 professor roulette Each week, Law Weekly selects a professor at random for five equally random questions. Virginia Law Weekly COLOPHON COLOPHON Aimee Fausser Editor-in-Chief Evan Mix Executive Editor Cory Stott Managing Editor Joe Budd Production Editor Jim Russell Entertainment Editor Kate Gilman Columns Editor April Reeves Photography Editor Kinal Patel Faculty Forum Editor Billy Easley II News Editor Evan Didier Chief Technology Officer Shaun Bockert Web Editor Richard Massony Associate Column Editor 1. A non-law-related interest that you shared with Thurgood Marshall: He was a serious basketball fan, as am I. Unfortunately, he loved the Lakers. Having gone to school in Boston, I was a Celtics fan, about which he gave me constant grief. 2. Your worst failure at cooking was: Shortly after Julia and I began dating, I cooked dinner for her. I was making a pasta dish and of course we were talking in the kitchen as I worked. Thanks to inattention and a slip of the hand, I managed to pour the entire pot of cooked pasta right down the drain. Fortunately, she thought it was hilarious, so it was perhaps not as epic a fail as it could have been. When it comes to the classic mistakes — overcooking, undercooking, using the wrong ingredient, forgetting an ingredient, leaving Ben Grosz, Jordan Fox Lizzy Hinkley, Paul Wagoner Marlee Waxelbaum Chris Browne, Mark Littmann Jack Herman Published weekly on Friday except during holiday and examination periods and serving the Law School community at the University of Virginia, the Virginia Law Weekly (ISSN 0042-661X) is not an official publication of the University and does not necessarily express the views of the University. Any article appearing herein may be reproduced provided that credit is given to both the Virginia Law Weekly and the author of the article. Advanced written permission of the Virginia Law Weekly is also required for reproduction of any cartoon or illustration. Virginia Law Weekly 580 Massie Road University of Virginia School of Law Charlottesville, Virginia 22903-1789 Phone: 434.924.3070 Fax: 434.924.7536 editor@lawweekly.org www.lawweekly.org EDITORIAL POLICY: The Virginia Law Weekly publishes letters and columns of interest to the Law School and the legal community at large. Views expressed in such submissions are those of the author(s) and not necessarily those of the Law Weekly or the Editorial Board. Letters from organizations must bear the name, signature, and title of the person authorizing the submission. All letters and columns must either be submitted in hardcopy bearing a handwritten signature along with an electronic version, or be mailed from the author’s e-mail account. Submissions must be received by 5 p.m. the Monday before publication and must be in accordance with the submission guidelines. Letters over 500 words and columns over 700 words may not be accepted. The Editorial Board reserves the right to edit all submissions for length, grammar, and clarity. Although every effort is made to publish all materials meeting our guidelines, we regret that not all submissions received can be published. -Paul Mahoney something on the stove until your house is filled with smoke, etc. — I’ve done them all, multiple times. 3. The most complicated contract you’ve ever encountered: The financing agreement for Disneyland Paris, which my law firm worked on while I was there. The deal had every ingredient necessary to guarantee contentious negotiations and overly complicated agreements: a large, multinational bank syndicate, the Walt Disney Company, and Frenchmen. 4. An amusement park ride that you particularly enjoyed: Uhoh — you’ve zeroed in on my inner Grinch. I can’t stand amusement parks, even Disneyland Paris. Fortunately, Julia and I had a nice division of labor when our sons were growing up: I took them to sporting events, she took them to amusement parks, and everyone was happy. 5. A foreign law that you think should be adopted in the U.S.: England has an amazing residuum of old feudal privileges that are obsolete but still on the books. So various petty officials are in principle entitled to a keg of rum or a dozen dressed geese or something like that from those who use their services. It would be great if, for example, each new EIC of the Law Weekly had to provide the Dean with a cask of scotch. the docket Today 12:00 p.m. - PILA Grantee 2011 Luncheon (Caplin Pavilion) Senior Contributor: Columnists: Contributors: Copy Editor: “I can’t stand amusement parks, even Disneyland Paris.” Paul Mahoney Contracts Undergraduate: MIT ‘81 Law school: Yale ‘84 1:00 p.m. - Strategies for a Successful Law Firm Summer: Dean Donovan and Patrice Hayden will lead a discussion on ways that 2Ls can make the most of their summer at a law firm (WB154) Monday Tuesday 12:00 p.m. - Legal Internships and Entry-Level Hiring at the DOJ, sponsored by the Public Service Center (WB152) 11:30 a.m. - Virginia Loan Forgiveness Program Update for 1Ls and 2Ls (Caplin Auditorium) 4:00 p.m. - Summer Research Tutorial, taught by Law Library staff (WB 103) 4:00 p.m. - Summer Research Tutorial, taught by Law Library staff (SL 298) Wednesday Thursday Friday 12:00 p.m. - Summer Research Tutorial, taught by Law Library staff (WB 104) 4:00 p.m. - SBA Spring Picnic (Spies Garden) 11:45 a.m. - Debating the Ministerial Exception: A Preview of Hosanna-Tabor Evangelical Lutheran Church and School v. EEOC 5:30 p.m. - J.B. Moore Society Annual Spring Picnic (Courtyard by Scott Commons) outside north grounds April 15 – Art and Chocolate, Piedmont Virginia Community College, 5-7:00 p.m., free. Annual exhibit of works by Piedmont Virginia Community College art students. Attention law students: There is a school where you could have gone and taken classes in sculpting and eating chocolate. Remember that when you’re sitting in your 8:00 a.m. Jurisprudence of Secured Transactions: 1943-1955. April 15 – Hamlet… bent, Play On! Theatre, 8:00 p.m., website says “pay what you want,” so, free. Improv parody of Hamlet in which audience participation is not only encouraged but relied upon. ONG will finally get a chance to put to use all those human skulls that ONG… found. April 17 – Virginia Gentlemen, Old Cabell Hall on Main Grounds, 7:30 p.m., $5. If you know in advance that you will only enjoy a concert if there are a lot of Chris Brown covers, you can safely skip this one — it’s being put on for the benefit of Charlottesville’s Sexual Assault Resource Agency. April 18 – The Pimps of Joytime, The Southern, doors at 8:00 p.m., show at 9:00 p.m., $10. This band plays afrobeat, salsa, rock and electronica, but if your April “music made by pimps” budget is feeling tight you should probably go ahead and save your money for Snoop Dogg later this month. April 19 – Katie Costello, The Southern, doors at 7:00 p.m., $8. ONG saw Katie Costello (no relation to Elvis Costello or Elvis Presley for that matter) perform at SXSW and fell in lust. She sang a song on which she lamented, “I wish there was a social excuse / to make you a cassette tape.” ONG wishes there was a social excuse to make Katie Costello a sex tape. April 20-21 – Car Wars: The Revolution, JPJ, 9:00 a.m. – 8:00 p.m., free. Oh, so you think you a baller? Own a few chains, do ya’? Real ballers buy cars, motherclunker. This is a competitive auto auction, so if you’ve been looking for a new ride in which to pick up hitchhikers and coerce them into giving you sexual favors, then this is your chance. If you haven’t been, then you and ONG don’t have much in common. April 21 – Party Liberation Front Presents: Electric Circus, The Jefferson Theater, doors at 8:00 p.m., show at 9:00p.m., $10. ONG is a big supporter of the Party Liberation Front. Too many parties labor under onerous restrictions like clothing requirements, surrendering of keys when drunk, and forcing people to play Wii Bowling. The PLF is doing God’s work. Entertainment VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Friday, 15 April 2011 3 Pushermen: Virginiabred Duo “Clipse” Comes to C’ville Chris Browne, ‘13 Contributor When Curtis Mayfield set out to score the 1972 film Super Fly, he saw an opportunity for engagement, not just with the film’s story, but with its underlying theme: The violent rise of drugs in the inner city, namely, Harlem. Thankfully, Super Fly the film was quickly forgotten: a campy relic of the blaxploitation era of seventies filmmaking. Superfly the soundtrack, however, endures as a powerful piece of social commentary. The album’s second track, “Pusherman,” introduces a new character to popular music: the audacious, entrepreneurial drug pusher, who exhorts “Feed me money for style /And I’ll let you trip for a while.” Hailing from Virginia Beach (by way of the Bronx), brothers Terrence and Gene Thornton (Malice and Pusha T, respectively) perform on the razor’s edge of a subgenre known as “cocaine rap.” If Curtis Mayfield presided over the marriage of drug dealing and popular music, the Thornton brothers, collectively known as Clipse, have overseen its consummation: their first major single and street anthem, 2002’s “Grindin,” tellingly begins with the stark, familiar reminder, “I’m yo pusha.” It’s not that the irony of Mayfield’s “Pusherman” was lost on the Thorntons. Like Mayfield, the duo focuses a great deal on the bleakness and desperation surrounding the drug game. But in a world where every platinum-certified MC from JayZ (a self-proclaimed former crack dealer) to Rick Ross (an admitted former correctional officer) boasts incessantly about drug trafficking bona fides, Clipse offers a singularly gloomy, yet exacting glimpse of life on the street. To hear Clipse tell it, drug trafficking is more disciplined vocation than lavish lifestyle; their brash, often rancorous lyrics have a way of delegitimizing more mainstream artists’ forays into coke rap: “I ain’t coming at ya / quote, unquote famous rapper / Who turn positive / tryin’ to tell ya how to live.” Some critics have dismissed the leitmotif as formulaic. And though Clipse has certainly benefitted from an aggressive marketing campaign touting their pusher credibility (including a series of mixtapes), their widespread appeal is more likely the result of cutting-edge production and imaginative storytelling. Pusha T and Malice seem to have heeded the old literary agent’s maxim, “Write what you know.” In Clipse’s case, the world of cocaine dealing is simply a familiar, welldeveloped milieu: “I’m from Virginia where ain’t shit to do but cook /pack it up, sell it triple price / fuck the books.” Yet despite the eventual appeal of cocaine rap as edgy subgenre, Clipse’s rise to commercial success was marked by false starts. Even with the Top-40 popularity of fellow Virginians Timbaland (Norfolk) and Missy Elliott (Portsmouth), the Commonwealth was still something of a hip-hop backwater in the early 1990’s. Mixtape DJs ignored most of the brothers’ freestyle demos, not photo courtesy of XXL Do you guys serve Coke here? sure what to make of their cocky delivery and dark, sometimes caustic wit. They did, however, have the good fortune of meeting Virginia Beach native (and hip-hop super-producer) Pharrell Williams in 1993, catching the young producer’s ear with their clever, vengeful style (“Virginia’s for lovers / but trust there’s hate here”). But even as Pharell and co-producer Chad Hugo (collectively, “The Neptunes”) dominated the pop and hip-hop charts with their spacey, electro-synth beats, the Thornton brothers simply couldn’t catch on. That all changed in 2001 when an undeterred Pharrell signed Clipse to his new label (Star Trak/Arista) and provided the pair with a nearly unlimited supply of sparse, drum and synth-driven tracks along with Pharell’s now-famous falsetto. The result was Clipse’s 2002 debut Lord Willin’ which went gold on the strength of “Grindin’” — the unapologetically grim first single. After a years-long legal dispute following the Sony-BMG merger put the release of a sophomore album on hold, Clipse went back to its mixtape roots, releasing a series of vicious tracks which led Pitchfork Media to call Pusha T and Malice “hip-hop’s meanest, smartest duo.” The praise culminated with the release of Clipse’s second full-length album, Hell Hath No Fury, a leaner, but still Neptunes-tinged record. The lead single, “Mr. Me Too,” gleefully bites the (record company) hand that feeds — “And I’m sorry to the fans / but the crackers weren’t playing fair at Jive,” and the brothers are quick to dispel any doubts about the real source of their newfound means: “Pyrex stirrers turned into Cavali furs.” On the strength of a new Pusha T (now simply “Pusha”) mixtape titled Fear of God, Clipse is once again touring, and the brothers seem intent on embracing their rather eccentric audience of college students, hipsters, and music bloggers. Next Saturday, the Virginia-bred duo will stop by Jefferson Theater on the Downtown Mall to perform. Doors open at 6:00 p.m., show starts at 7:00 p.m. If you go: General admission shows are open on a first-come, firstserved basis. Show goes on rain or shine. This is, of course, an alcoholfree event. America, the Beautiful Mark J. Littmann, ‘11 Contributor When I first moved to Charlottesville, I was a naïve New Yorker who knew little about one of America’s finest treats: barbecue. Since then, my studies have taken me to legendary places from Memphis to Lexington, N.C. (the “Barbecue Capital of the World,” naturally). And as I have had some of America’s most outstanding barbecue, I have come to realize that the Charlottesville area has its own share of gems. Three years and a lot of heart blockage has given me an appreciation for these fine institutions, in order of deliciousness. The Barbeque Exchange (Gordonsville) Barely a year old and already the king of the area, The Barbeque Exchange is a worthwhile 30-minute drive from Charlottesville. The Exchange is a pet project of locally renowned chef Craig Hartman, better known as the Executive Chef of upscale restaurant Fossett’s at Keswick Hall. I am a hole-in-thewall food guy, so I was skeptical at first. However, after my visit, the only thing on my mind was the high quality food served in a humble and informal atmosphere. The quality of the food is excellent across the board — from pulled pork to ribs — and there are a variety of accompanying sauces that enhance the flavor. The unanimous favorite among my group was the spicier sauce, Hog Fire. The Barbeque Exchange has memorable sides as well, like the hush puppies and an impressive assortment of fried and flavored pickles. A Paulie’s Pig Out (Afton/Rte. 151) Though way out in horse country, about 30-minutes west of the Law School, you know you’re in business here when you see Paulie’s smoker greeting you outside. The inside is little more than an ordering window, so have a plan to eat elsewhere. But when you finally bite into that delicious pulled pork sandwich, smoked in a tasty sauce, you will not be disappointed. It’s the sides that truly shine here, especially the outstanding macaroni and cheese. The friendly service makes you feel at home, except my mom never made barbecue this good. That’s what I get for having a sister who is a vegetarian. Drawbacks: if you don’t arrive early enough on popular days, they do sell out; they’re closed Mondays and Tuesdays; cash only. AJinx’s (Downtown) If there is one place in Charlottesville that combines hole-in-thewall quirkiness with the superior quality of a top barbecue joint, Jinx is the clear choice. The pulled pork is succulent and flavorful. His menu is simple but classic, and the man’s nearly religious devotion to his craft shows up in his food. Unfortunately, his hours are a little less dependable — he only serves lunch Wednesday through Sunday. ABlue Ridge Pig (Nellysford/Rte. 151) Blue Ridge Pig, though even farther away than Paulie’s on Route 151, is worth the drive. Nestled in a building that blends in beside a gas station and convenience store, the quality of the meat here is outstanding – well smoked to the point of literally falling off the rib bones.The sauce is a very unique, somewhat bizarre mixture. It is extremely subtle and mustardbased. Not my favorite. The sides were not as inspiring as the meat, but still worthy of admiration. The ambience (yes, you can sit down to eat), takes you to a totally different world from the Law School. Again, make sure to bring cash. B+ Buttz (The Corner) Yes, the Corner has good barbecue. And it’s open late into the night on weekends. I was skeptical of its “best Texas brisket” claim at first, especially because the chef was wearing a Red Sox hat. But once I tried it, I realized he wasn’t far off. And fear not, I did not only test this place out post-Bilt on a Saturday night. Unlike Little John’s, it withstood the crucial sober tasting. Moist and tender, the sliced brisket was an impressive product. The voodoo coleslaw stole the show: a spicy slaw with sesame seeds. Overall, it’s a wonderful barbecue addition and the combination of convenience and quality is promising/dangerous. B+ Belmont (Belmont) To call Belmont the worst of Charlottesville would be misleading. We are lucky to have a respectable group of barbecue craftsmen in our area; Belmont just happens to be the least good. I still eat here on occasion, but its main problem is that the quality is inconsistent. Sometimes the pulled pork rivals its competitors and other times it is just decent. Same goes for the ribs.Perhaps the operation is just bigger and loses some of the TLC that is essential to a good barbecue place.It just feels like a more commercial operation, not a barbecue shack. B *** I am proud to be leaving Virginia Law not just with a top-notch legal education and a massive amount of debt, but also a taste for some of the South’s finest offerings. You just can’t get that level of authenticity in New York. 4 Columns VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Friday, 15 April 2011 Why Write a Column? People write columns for various reasons. Some have strong opinions they think other people actually care about. Others feel the Lizzy Hinkley ‘12 Columnist debate often spurred by a contentious column is a healthy part of a wellfunctioning society. I write a column so my Dillard students know how funny I am. I’ve found this hard to convey through my comments on their memos. However, my journalism career has not always been fun and games. Until recently, I had been on a decade-long hiatus from journalism triggered by a scarring high school experience. When I was a high school sophomore, I joined my school’s student newspaper. Channeling my best Andrea Zuckerman, I made it my duty to expose all of the injustices one experiences while growing up in an affluent New England suburb. Naturally, my first course of business was to write an exposé on how the members of the wrestling team were anorexic. Admittedly, I had just seen the Karen Carpenter E! True Hollywood Story and was on a bit of an anorexia witch-hunt. Regardless, I did a damn good job. I interviewed current and former members of the team. They told me on the record that the extreme dieting and exercise regimen imposed by the coaches left them weak, tired, and unable to focus in school. The teacher who supervised the newspaper OK-ed the article, and it went to press. The response I got from other students was great. The administration was not as pleased. I was called into the athletic director’s office, told that I had my facts wrong, and was instructed to write and publish photo courtesy of atlantafitnesscentersforwomen.com an apology letter Not an anorexic wrestler addressed to the team’s coaches. Aside from when Felicity cut her hair, I had and wrote movie reviews for the rest of high never felt so wronged. I had engaged in seri- school. ous investigative journalism and presented Nothing positive came from nixing my arthe facts fairly. Yet, I was being silenced by the ticle. Many of the wrestlers wanted change, administration because they were not happy as evidenced by their willingness to be interwith the message my article sent to parents. viewed. But nothing changed. Already petite Worse yet, I was forced to discredit myself in men became more emaciated. Upon graduaan apology letter. tion, a few team members joined the circus. I So what did I do about it? Well, nothing. I am led to believe these two events were conhad two more years left in the joint and I didn’t nected. Possibly the greatest injustice of all, my want to rock the boat. Also, there was a dance dream of going to Princeton on a joint field that Friday and I had to focus on hair and hockey-journalism scholarship was shattered. wardrobe. So, I submitted my apology letter Thankfully, I had the opportunity to attend Princeton’s satellite campus for law school. Part of writing for a publication is writing about issues that some people disagree with, particularly when it reflects negatively on them. A column calls to readers’ attention something that the writer perceives as not being right. It is nothing more than the individual writer’s opinion. As a reader, you can either agree or disagree. As a party implicated by the column, you are free to respond. And as the piece’s author, the writer will be held accountable for the column’s content (which is more than the Above The Law “tipsters” among us can say). This dynamic cultivates an environment of open communication and increased understanding of one other. If we cannot achieve this in a context as small as a school newspaper, then there is no hope of doing so on a larger scale. Every school has its own athletic directors, and I’m not referring to NGSL. Whether you are a member of the faculty, the administration, or a student organization, you are entitled to clarify a portrayal that you perceive to be unfair. But no matter how much clout you may hold, you cannot expect to completely silence the criticism. In law, ethics is the name of the game. As law students, we should hold ourselves to a high ethical standard and keep in mind that, for better or for worse, high school is over. -eph4dt@virginia.edu Peer Advisor Program Welcomes New Members We have both been honored to serve as Peer Advisors for Sections F & G this past year and want to thank Anna Craft and Noah Mink for their great leadership as P.A. co-directors. We firmly believe that the P.A. program is one of our school’s most important programs and is essential for perpetuating the congenial and supportive environment that defines U.Va. Law, and we are both so excited to serve as co-directors of the P.A. Program in the year to come! We are especially excited now that we’ve finally selected the 84 Peer Advisors for the 2011-12 academic year. CONGRATULATIONS to the following new P.A.s: Ikenna Adams, John Akin, Randy Barr, Michael Beeson, Sirisha Bendapudi, Lindsay Brooker, Duncan Burke, Andrew Buttaro, Jack Cantrell, Mercy Changwesha, Katie Cragg, Garry Gabison, Scott Galla, Andrew Garrahan, Emily Glaser, Jacob Gutwillig, Will Halliday, Dena Harandi, Michelle Harrison, Chris Hatfield, Blaire Hawkins, Karl Herrmann, Kendall Howes, Jerry Hsu, Daniel Johnson, Jamie Kaiser, Megan Kayo, Anna Kelly, Zuzanna Knypinski, Peter Jacob Kozaczuk, Alex Krueger-Wyman, Alyssa Kuhn, Lauren LaMontagne, Allison Lansell, Christina Leaton, Denise Letendre, Ariel Linet, Elena Longa, Belinda Luu, Daniel Maalo, Timothy Malone, Esha Mankodi, Blair Marsteller, Ben Massey, Cassandra Maximous, Warren McCarty, Timothy McKernan, Emily Melson, Philip Messier, Michael Moskowitz, Rebecca Muff, Lance Murashige, Andrew Mutter, Priscilla Ochu-Arthus, Kimberly Paschall, James Percival, Tom Perez-Lopez, Jeff Porter, Donovan Powell, Amber Randolph, Laura Richardson, Maury Riggan, Diane Rish, Maddy Rodriguez, Robbie Rogart, Cassie Ross, Kate Saltz, Joel Sanderson, Rosanne Sangiacomo, David Seal, Ricky Shelton, Jim Sherwood, Egle Sivaityte, Laura Smith, Jake Spilman, Greg Tung, Rhuju Vasavada, Katherine Vorhis, Marlee Waxelbaum, Casey White, Jack Wickham, Esther Winne, Lindsey Yeargin, and Nick Zemil. Selecting the above 84 PAs was challenging. More people applied this year than last year, LEASING & MARKETING CONSULTANT WANTED In years past, Great Eastern Management Company has had great success with hiring spouses of Grad students and we would like to, once again, extend an opportunity to join our team. We are now accepting resumes for a full-time Leasing Consultant position. The ideal candidate must be outgoing, enthusiastic, detail oriented and have excellent people and communication skills. Comprehensive benefit package may include a 2 bedroom apartment. Send resume and salary requirement to Christina Weaver, PO Box 5526, Charlottesville, VA 22905 or email areamanager@gemc.com or fax (434) 963-2670. and all 154 applicants were incredible. We were consistently amazed by our classmates’ accomplishments and it was a privilege to be able to meet everyone. The hardest part of our job was disappointing seventy people. Only 84 of over 1,000 students serve as a P.A. each year. Thus despite how important we think the program is, we recognize that maintaining U.Va. Law’s friendly atmosphere takes more than the advisors: it requires everyone here. And we hope that everyone — the new P.A.s, the people we disappointed, and students who did not apply — will remain involved and welcome next year’s incoming 1Ls, Transfers, and LL.M.s. 2011-12 is going to be a great year! -Michelle Anderson & Leanne Marek Friday, 15 April 2011 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Stream of I wonder if this is like Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle in that my attempt to write things down Paul Wagoner ‘12 Columnist will actually change how I think so that it’s impossible to convey what is really going on in my mind. The only way for that to work would be a What Women Want scenario. I’ve never seen that movie, but I remember in a trailer some broad said she liked Mel Gibson’s ass. I wonder if girls really think about guys’ asses like that. If so, why? Does it make them more evolutionarily fit or do they just do it because they think they’re supposed to? What would a feral woman do? Isn’t it crazy that feral kids can never develop language? What if there was a nuclear war and only a breeding pair of feral children survived? Would we lose language? For how long? I’m kind of worried that this stream of consciousness thing isn’t going to work out too well, but I figure it can’t be any worse than that poem by Ginsburg about putting his queer shoulder to a wheel or something. What was that called? “Howl?” I feel like that might be something else. I’m really bad at arts and literature. Sometimes when I watch Jeopardy! I do better by just guessing the most well known thing within a category. Like if the category is “19th Century British Literature,” I’m better off just guessing Oliver Twist before I see the clue than I am talking myself out of it when I do see the clue. That’s kind of like why I never check my work. I overthink things. When I walk from the Law School to the parking lot, I try to find someone to talk to or someone I can call so I don’t have to walk in silence. I can’t stand silence. I would go crazy in solitary confinement. I usually regret finding someone to call, though, because while the five minute walk is made better by listening to my dad talk about high school basketball, I have to stay on the phone with him for another twenty minutes. My dad loves high school basketball — both boys’ and girls’. He goes to all the games. It’s kind of weird. When I was a kid there was a guy named Richard who was at like every youth sporting event ever. We called him “The Great White” because he had white hair. It’s kind of weird to think that “Whitey” used to be an acceptable nickname. The Great White knew all about all of the little league teams and individual kids’ stats. It was crazy. He told my buddy once that he would come to the fields because his wife had Alzheimer’s and he needed a break from her. By 8th grade or so I stopped seeing Richard. He probably died. It’s sad. It would have Columns 5 C onsciousness been nice if all the kids in the community showed up at his funeral in a huge procession and left a single rose on his casket like an episode of Boy Meets World I saw where the lunch lady died. But that stuff only happens on TV. Anyway, I think there should be a network of bored people who can just make small talk with each other to avoid silence. Actually, that’s a bad idea: That’s like ChatRoulette. I wonder what it’s like to talk to Aaron Sorkin in real life. I think Crayola should update their boxes. They look really dated. On the other hand, though, I guess it doesn’t really matter. It’s not like kids think they look dated. They were just born. Selling stuff to kids seems really easy. That’s probably why people like Madonna write children’s books. Then again, I don’t think Stephanie Meyer is a literary genius. I wonder if James Franco is really so smart or if he’s just really smug and pretentious. I’d like to get to the bottom of that. It would be fun for a semester to come up with characters and have a different character go to every class. For every Evidence class, wear a blonde mullet wig, and for every Bankruptcy class walk in on crutches. That would really mess with people. They’d be like, “you know, the kid with the blonde mullet…” and the other person would never think that was the same kid as the one who is on crutches. Wheelchair would probably be funnier than crutches, but would offend people more. Why do we use a base ten decimal system? I feel like it’s probably because we have ten fingers. If we had sixteen fingers would we use hexadecimal? That seems crazy to think about. I hate that people overuse the word random. I was watching an Aziz Ansari special on Comedy Central the other day and he said that Scar was “the most random Disney villain.” How can anything be the most random? By definition Disney villains should be equally likely to come up if they’re random. -paw4e@virginia.edu 6 Advertisement VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Friday, 15 April 2011 Friday, 15 April 2011 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Columns 7 Whe n Law Pr ofesso rs At t a c k With peer advisor interviews and admitted student weekends so close together, I found myself pondering what sort of adMarlee Waxelbaum ‘13 Columnist vice I would give the next generation of Virginia Law students if any so foolishly approached me for pearls of wisdom. Guidance about extramurals and who not to date (cough section M cough) seemed too obvious and didn’t get at the real cause of stress for most 1Ls – classes. It was then, as I sat in my unidentified property professor’s class, watching him circle as a helpless classmate attempted to tread water, that I realized what future 1Ls are most in need of: a survival guide to help them avoid predatory law professors. Clearly, this defensive handbook would be only one part of my overall Bear-Gryllsian manual of survival techniques to be deployed in the event of a law professor attack. To tide you all over until my book is released, please find an excerpt below of When Law Professors Attack: A Field Guide for First Year Prey.* “...[T]herefore, you must first identify the native species of law professor before you can properly assess how to best defend from an attack. When in doubt, how- ever, feel free to execute all defensive maneuvers. If nothing else, you’ll amuse your peers. Bear Professors Is your professor territorial, charging only when threatened? Is your professor reclusive, preferring to steer clear of students if at all possible? Then your professor is a bear, and, as you would when defending against a bear, you must establish your territory as soon as you enter the classroom. Loudly assert your presence while simultaneously maintaining your distance (i.e. sit in the back row and make jokes). Should the bear-like professor decide to charge, you must appear as large as possible while avoiding direct eye contact. WikiHow.com/Escape-from-a-Bear (the source of all this information... obviously) stresses that you should “understand the bear’s motivations,” which proves apt for bear-like professors as well: “If a [law professor] appears to be stalking you (disappearing and reappearing, for example), or if a [law professor] attacks at night, it most likely sees you as food, and any attack will be predatory. If you surprise a [law professor] on the trail, if the [law professor] has cubs, or if the [law professor] is eating from or protecting a carcass, the [law professor] will most likely be acting in self-defense.” Indeed, knowing the motivation of a bear-like professor can help you determine the best course of defensive action, be it backing up slowly while maintaining eye contact or trying to make yourself larger while shouting. Shark Professors Does your professor circle slowly, looking for blood in the water before attacking? Does your professor tend to call out students who flail and wear flashy clothing? Then your professor is a shark! In addition to avoiding bleeding in the water and flailing (i.e. showing weakness of any sort), the best defensive maneuver available against a shark professor is to “punch” it where it is most vulnerable – in the nose, ears, or gills. This move can come in the form of a pithy response to a cold call or even pointing out the weakness of a professor (“Well, sir, I thought you said we didn’t have to understand complex mortgages”), but must be delivered flawlessly or else the shark will sense weakness and continue its attack. The brilliant writers at WikiHow.com/ Survive-a-Shark-Attack have also prescribed a method of self-preservation against shark professors: “Playing dead won’t deter an aggressive [law professor]. Your best bet if attacked is to make the [law professor] see you as a strong, credible threat.” T-Rex Professors Is your law professor prehistoric, dating from the Jurassic period (unless you count that time they were brought back to life for a limited engagement on an island)? Are their teeth intimidatingly large? Then your professor, as you probably already figured out from the header (your powers of deduction are strong, young padawan), is a TRex. Just remember the lessons of Jurassic Park: don’t move – they can sense any sort of movement. Also, even when you think they can’t breed, they probably can, but you probably shouldn’t spend too much time thinking about that or else you might not be able to keep a straight face in class. T-Rex professors are becoming increasingly rare in the wilderness, however, so spend minimal time preparing to confront them.” Copies of When Law Professors Attack: A Field Guide for First Year Prey will be available in the bookstore in August provided that the Law School foots the bill. Can I get my advance now? *What? Like I’m studying or something and shouldn’t be writing a book? Whatever. -mjw3xb@virginia.edu 8 The Back Page VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY financial fiduciary Friday, 15 April 2011 Constructions by Myles Mellor Ten Things to Know About Debt & Borrowing Whether you’re a 3L counting down the days to graduation, a 1L daunted by the amount of debt alBenjamin Grosz ‘11 Senior Columnist ready accrued, or a crusty professor thinking about financing a new sports car, this column is for you. As always, my aim in this column is to offer some practical financial tips and advice to law students. Specifically, this column focuses on how to think about and plan your debt and borrowing as you manage your financial affairs. My hope is that you will discover at least one helpful nugget that you can apply to improve your situation. Debt Can Be Good As a starting point, I think it is important to acknowledge that debt is not always bad. Although irresponsible borrowing (and spending) can lead individuals (and countries) to financial ruin, debt can be a great tool when used properly. Without the opportunity to borrow money, there would be far fewer people owning their own homes or attending U.Va. Law. There are both good and bad kinds of debt. One general rule is that it is a bad idea to borrow money to pay for consumption. In other words, don’t borrow money to pay for a fabulous vacation or fancy new car. These are things you don’t need, so if you can’t afford them without debt then you should start saving for them. On the other hand, using debt to invest for the future (e.g. education) or pay for something that you do need (such as a roof over your head or transportation) can make good financial sense. How Much Debt is OK? The simple answer is that loans can be fine, when you can afford to repay them. Here are a few general rules of thumb to follow. (1) Avoid being “underwater” on your secured loans by having positive equity in any assets that you finance. In simple terms, make sure that your house or car is worth more than you owe on it. (2) If you borrow money to buy something, your loan repayment term should not last longer than the asset’s useful life. In other words, a 30-year mortgage can make good sense, but a 10-year car loan seems crazy. Because education provides employment options and typically leads to a higher salary for your working lifetime, it may be quite reasonable to face thirty years of student loan payments. (3) A monthly mortgage payment should not exceed 28 percent of your monthly gross income. When buying a house, if your mortgage would be much higher, you probably should think twice about how much house you can afford. (4) Other debt payments should be less than 10 percent of your monthly gross income. It is further recommended to limit your total debt payments (including any mortgage) to less than 36 percent of your income. Borrow Money Smartly The two most important ways to borrow smartly are to (1) know and understand the terms of debt, and (2) minimize the cost of borrowing. You could borrow from banks, credit unions, the government, family members, or even a pawnshop. Your loans could be secured by property photo courtesy of puntabulous.com Less Money Mo’ Problems. or might be unsecured. Other important elements of a loan are the length of the loan term, whether the interest rate is fixed or variable, fees and the interest rate. It is important that you understand all the loan terms. If the salesman or loan officer can’t or won’t clearly explain them to you, be afraid. Most borrowers are primarily concerned with paying the lowest interest rate. While the instinct to minimize cost is noble, it is important to remember that the true cost of debt includes both interest and any fees. To get the best deal on a loan, as with any other product, shop around to save money. Fees, rates, and terms can differ significantly for mortgages, car loans, and credit cards. Secure Credit Sources Strategically Be strategic about how you seek credit. Remember that lenders are usually reluctant to loan money to those who need or really want a loan, but eager to make loans to those who already seem secure. This is one reason you’ll usually get a better interest rate when you put more money down towards the purchase of a home or car. If you are planning to get a credit card this year, be strategic about it. A soon-to-graduate 3L will very likely get a better deal after starting a job. Put Your Best Foot Forward You can also be strategic in how you present yourself when seeking loans. As with dating, you’ll want to make a good impression (while still being honest). This story from one of my friends is illustrative. In the spring of her 3L year at U.Va. Law she was planning an August vacation abroad to celebrate graduation and completing the bar exam. In preparation for her trip she sought a credit card that did not charge extra fees on foreign currency transactions. One question on the credit card application was “annual in- faculty quotes J. Cannon: There was an allegation that the skeet-shooting club constituted a point source discharge. J. Harrison: You ever had a Molson beer? Student: No. J. Harrison: No? That’s terrible. You’ll have to rectify that. Not during class, though. A. Simmons: Just an analytical exercise? My God, man! We’re talking about what philosophers do, here! come.” She had earned $15,000 the previous summer, was not working during the school year, and had accepted a law firm job that would pay $160,000 per year starting after Labor Day. How would you have answered the annual income question…? She simply wrote that her annual income was negligible because she annualized her non-existent salary in April of 3L year. Despite her pristine credit history she was assigned a credit limit of only $300. Had she instead put her expected starting salary, her expected income for that calendar year or even her income from the previous calendar year she would have undoubtedly been approved for a much higher credit limit. The same idea applies when applying for financial aid, but in reverse. You probably want to strategically minimize your assets and income for this exercise. For example, I waited to complete my FAFSA form until after I had bought my wife her engagement ring. Had I completed the FAFSA earlier, I might have been expected to contribute those savings towards law school and been approved for fewer loans – and my wife would not have been pleased. Control Your Debt (So It Doesn’t Control You) As law students, debt is something with which we’re familiar. It can seem daunting, but thoughtful planning and strategy can help you borrow smarter and effectively manage your debt. -blg3h@virginia.edu Columnist’s Note: I strive to offer sincere, good faith advice in this column, although we do not legally enter into a fiduciary relationship when you read it. Editor’s Note: Benjamin Grosz ‘11 is founder and principal of Grosz Financial Planning, LLC and is a candidate for CFP Board’s certification. C. Barzun: You’re saying you want to willfully break the law? Student: Yeah, sure, if that helps your argument. C. Barzun: Even if there are children around? M. Collins: To paraphrase Professor Nelson, why remand it to the Ninth Circuit anyway? It’s just going to come back! J. Fischman: I wouldn’t assume utmost professionalism on the part of Nigerian drug smugglers. C. Sprigman: If anyone is a pathological self-hater, please email me. Across 1. Shuttlecock 5. Ho Chi Minh City 11. Calendar abbr. 14. Brother of Jacob 15. Burning 16. Chemical ending 17. Developer 19. Pilot’s announcement, briefly 20. Watery motion 21. Watch the bottom 23. Tree under which Buddha was born 24. Storage cylinder 26. Textile designer and print maker Albers 27. 1545 council site 29. “Cheaper by the dozen” actress, Hilary 32. Kind of room 33. Crumb 35. Plane, e.g. 37. Parked oneself 38. Real estate listing information, often 41. Cow or sow 43. Kind of palm 44. Low card 45. Microscope part 47. Study, say 49. Medieval light 53. Four Corners state 54. Ancient alphabetic character 56. Before, of yore 57. End of boyish period 61. Potato measurement 63. Track action 64. Commodore’s lyric, “She’s ____” and home description 66. Be off base 67. Ending 68. Boxer Spinks 69. Jamie Foxx’s legend 70. Out of it 71. Sheltered, at sea Down 1. Bidding 2. Meteorologist’s line 3. Talk aimlessly 4. The Everly Brothers composition 5. Riyadh resident 6. Away from home 7. Under the weather 8. Moves restlessly 9. Foreboding 10. Roman fiddler 11. Gentleness 12. Wave catcher 13. One not wearing rose colored glasses 18. Eating places 22. St. Louis pro 25. Alfresco 28. Parent’s order 30. FYI part 31. Contractor’s measure 34. Ski lift 36. Opposite of sophisticated and advanced 38. All the renters on an estate 39. It may need massaging 40. Jersey call 41. Type of party 42. Greek woman who was a social climber 46. “Quiet!” 48. Clout 50. Fill up the tank again 51. Defoe character 52. Satellite of Saturn 55. A natural juice 58. Clods 59. Life lines? 60. Bond opponent 62. Kind of nut 65. 007 creator Fleming