Law School to Pick Up Bar Related Expenses

Friday, 15 April 2011
Volume 63, Number 25
INSIDE
Mahoney Wants Geese, Scotch........................................................... 2
When Law Professors Attack.............................................................. 7
Writing a Column - So Easy, a 3L Can Do It............................................. 4
Less Money, Mo’ Problems................................................................. 8
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
The Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 1948
around north
grounds
Cariello,
Gocek win
82nd Lile
Moot Court
Competition
Thumbs up to
the faculty and
administration
for their incredible generosity in offering
to pay for bar registration
fees and prep classes for
unemployed 3Ls. This will
come in handy, as the West
Virginia Bar has proved surprisingly resistant to ANG’s
offer of “payment in kind.”
Billy Easley II, ‘13
News Editor
On Saturday, Apr. 9, Chris
Cariello ‘11 and Dan Gocek ’11
prevailed over Lynzi Archibald
‘11 and Matt Hanson ‘11 in the
final round of the 82 nd William
Minor Lile Moot Court Competition. Both groups endured
arduous questioning and withering hypotheticals from three
distinguished judges during
the final grueling moot court
battle in their law school careers. The judges included the
Honorable Barbara M. Keenan
of the Fourth Circuit Court of
Appeals, Eugene E. Siler of the
Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals,
and David Tatel of the D.C.
Court of Appeals.
As always, the questions
presented left room for both
sides to make compelling arguments. The problem, crafted
by Charles Baldis ‘11, focused
on two fertile issues for discussion: First, whether the defendant’s confidentiality had been
waived under the dangerous
patient exception to the psychotherapist-patient privilege;
and second, whether the defendant’s Confrontation Clause
rights had been violated in
the sentencing phase of the
trial. Cariello and Gocek represented the Appellant, Donald
Draper. Archibald and Hanson
represented the Appellee, the
United States.
Gocek was the first to argue before the Judges and discussed the issue of waiver for
the Appellant. The Judges set
the tone early – each of them,
especially Judge Tatel, was
photo by April Reeves ‘12
Chris Cariello ‘11 and Dan Gocek ‘11 listen to Lynzi Archibald ‘11 and Matt Hansons’ ‘11 arguments.
exceptionally engaged and focused on pushing the competitors to clarify or justify their
positions. As Gocek advocated
a narrow vision of patienttherapist waiver, Judge Keenan
warned that adopting the Appellant’s vision of the patienttherapist relationship would
lead “psychotherapists [to be
regarded] as officers of the
state” because it would force
therapists to give “perverse
warnings” to their patients that
they could testify against them
in court about what is revealed
to them. Judge Tatel, aided by
the other Judges on the panel,
vigorously questioned Gocek
about his belief that Jaffee was
not a controlling opinion in the
case.
The sharp questioning continued when Cariello rose
to discuss the Confrontation
Clause. He urged the Court
to adopt an understanding of
the Clause that would allow it
to be applied throughout the
conviction process, extending
to the sentencing phase. At issue was a series of affidavits
given to the jury during that
phase of the process written by
individuals that the defendant
was not allowed to confront.
When Cariello argued that the
“evidence was improperly injected into the process,” Tatel
questioned Cariello’s lack of
trust in the jury’s ability to
sift through the affidavits and
determine whether they were
relevant to their final determination. When Cariello responded by noting that the affidavits should not have been
submitted due to the Supreme
Court’s understanding that
“death is different,” and that
great care should be exerted in
the amount of evidence given
to juries in such determinations, Judge Kennan noted her
skepticism – not satisfied with
a mere appeal to the finality of
the punishment.
Archibald opened the Appellee’s argument in the same
direct and poised manner that
characterized her performance
in the semi-finals. Speaking
on the waiver issue, Archibald
claimed that the dangerous-
patient exception should be
recognized and applied in the
case before the court. Judge
Keenan confronted Archibald
with what she called her “favorite question” for lawyers
– “How would you write the
Court’s opinion?” Archibald
responded with three arguments that she believed should
guide the Court’s reasoning in
finding for the Appellee, relying on public policy arguments
founded on the continued danger posed by the appellant.
Hanson opened his argument about the Confrontation
Clause with a strong statement, framing the defendant’s
objection as an attempt to find
a “procedural out” to evade
his conviction. Judge Keenan
disagreed with his framing of
the case. Hanson moderated
his comment accordingly while
maintaining that the use of the
Confrontation Clause to excise
the evidence at issue was inappropriate. Hanson’s argument
was notable for the extended
►LILE page 2
Law School to Pick Up Bar Related Expenses
Jordan Fox ‘11
Senior Contributor
With graduation fast approaching, the Law School
stepped up this week to help
students avoid, or at least postpone, a common financial obstacle: fees required to study for
and apply to the bar. Students
graduating without a job—and
thus without a source of revenue to pay for these expenses—
are being offered a subsidy that
will cover bar applications fees
and bar review course tuitions.
Unemployed students were
notified of the program Monday
morning via a letter deposited
in their Law School mailboxes
from Dean Paul Mahoney. The
letter informs students that they
will be eligible to receive up to
$500 to cover bar application
fees and up to $1500 to cover bar
review study courses.
The funds will come primarily
from the Law School coffers, but
will also be supplemented by
funds donated by Law School
faculty and administrators.
“Although we know that this is
only one facet of the challenges
we all face,” Mahoney wrote of
the bar-related fees in the letter
to students, “we hope that this
will provide useful and timely
support in obtaining your license to practice.”
“This is the time when the
whole class will continue to
pull together,” said Dean of
Career Services Kevin Donovan. Donovan, whose regular
brainstorming meetings with
Dean Mahoney led to the idea
of creating this and other programs meant to assist students
navigating the recession-addled
legal market, remarks optimistically that this program is intended as a stop gap measure as
hiring picks up steam. “If there
are people still in the market,”
he says, “now is not the time to
give up.”
Thumbs down to
the
uncertainty
surrounding the
annual 3L grapefueled orgy, also known as
the 3L wine tour. If it gets
canceled, ANG is hosting a
Tour de Franzia at the Rte.
29 Food Lion – all the Sunset Blush you can drink,
straight from the bag.
Thumbs up to
this
semester’s
overly dramatic
Trial Ad trials.
ANG is available to be a
witness, but only if it’s the
part of an old prospector or
a young nun.
Thumbs down to
the campus-wide
email about career
fairs that turned
out to be limited to minority
students, raising and then
immediately dashing the
hopes of the Law School’s
unemployed white dudes.
Thumbs up to an
obscure D.C. holiday delaying Tax
Day until April
18th. ANG will use the extra
time to take a quick business
trip to the Cayman Islands.
Thumbs up to the
new PAs, who
will be responsible for shepherding the Class of ’14
through a very vulnerable
time in their lives. Chris
Hansen and the crew from
To Catch a Predator have already booked lodgings at
the Omni for the month of
August.
Thumbs up to
WestlawNext
for winning the
American
Association of Law Libraries
award for New Product of
the Year. Previous winners
include the Book (1994),
the Internet (2010), and
Werther’s Originals (every
year).
2
Faculty Forum & News
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
►LILE
precedential papers
Apr. 19, 1979
In April, law student humor takes a turn for the grim.
continued from page 1
hypothetical Judge Tatel lifted
from his brief, questioning him
on it intently.
After deliberating and naming Gocek and Cariello the
winners of the Competition,
the Judges announced that
Lynzi Archibald had been selected as the Best Oralist in
Friday, 15 April 2011
the Final Round. Following
these announcements a representative from Paul, Hastings,
Janofsky & Walter LLP – which
has sponsored the best oralist
award for the Lile Competition for the last eight years –
revealed the other best oralists
from the competition. Third
place was awarded to Andrew Bentz ‘12, 2nd to Phillip
Sun Koh ‘12, and first to Holly
Vradenburgh ‘12.
When asked for comment,
Matt Hanson described the
competition
experience
as
“nerve-wracking and a lot of
fun” and noted how much he
enjoyed getting his “15 minutes
with these Circuit Judges”. Ben
Marzouk and Lydie Essama
‘11 praised the finalists’ level
of commitment to the competition over the last two years.
“These are truly the cream of
the crop,” said Essama.
Coughlin Delivers Charge to the Class of 2011
Each year for the past several
years, a member of the faculty has
been chosen by popular vote to deliver the Charge to the Graduating
Class. From among a pool of perennial student favorites, the Class
of 2011 chose Prof. Coughlin.
In her speech, Coughlin said she
understood her responsibility in
delivering the Charge as helping
the Class of 2011 to understand the
significance of both their accomplishments here at the Law School
and those that awaited them in the
future. The graduation of a class,
she said, is a time of transition for
all of us at U.Va. Law.
Coughlin did not shy away
from recognizing the challenges –
professional and otherwise – faced
by the Class of 2011, but she also
struck an upbeat tone: Alluding to
the economic collapse of 2008 and
its impact on many in the audience, she assured the graduating
class that they are the ones who
will do better than those who came
before them, simply because they
must. To that end, Couglin offered
two pieces of advice: First, take
more responsibility and less credit;
second, don’t try to go it alone.
The Charge was generally well
received by the Class of 2011; members of the audience described
Coughlin’s speech as surprisingly
personal and emotional. Organizers also considered the event a
success, with a turnout even better
than they had expected.
-Evan Mix ‘12
professor roulette
Each week, Law Weekly selects a
professor at random for five equally
random questions.
Virginia
Law Weekly
COLOPHON
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Editor-in-Chief
Evan Mix
Executive Editor
Cory Stott
Managing Editor
Joe Budd
Production Editor
Jim Russell
Entertainment Editor
Kate Gilman
Columns Editor
April Reeves
Photography Editor
Kinal Patel
Faculty Forum Editor
Billy Easley II
News Editor
Evan Didier
Chief Technology Officer
Shaun Bockert
Web Editor
Richard Massony
Associate Column Editor
1. A non-law-related interest
that you shared with Thurgood
Marshall: He was a serious basketball fan, as am I. Unfortunately, he loved the Lakers. Having gone to school in Boston, I
was a Celtics fan, about which
he gave me constant grief.
2. Your worst failure at cooking
was: Shortly after Julia and I began dating, I cooked dinner for
her. I was making a pasta dish and
of course we were talking in the
kitchen as I worked. Thanks to inattention and a slip of the hand, I
managed to pour the entire pot of
cooked pasta right down the drain. Fortunately, she thought it was
hilarious, so it was perhaps not as
epic a fail as it could have been.
When it comes to the classic mistakes — overcooking, undercooking, using the wrong ingredient,
forgetting an ingredient, leaving
Ben Grosz, Jordan Fox
Lizzy Hinkley, Paul Wagoner
Marlee Waxelbaum
Chris Browne, Mark Littmann
Jack Herman
Published weekly on Friday except during holiday and examination periods and serving the
Law School community at the University of Virginia, the Virginia Law Weekly (ISSN 0042-661X) is not
an official publication of the University and does not necessarily express the views of the University.
Any article appearing herein may be reproduced provided that credit is given to both the Virginia Law
Weekly and the author of the article. Advanced written permission of the Virginia Law Weekly is also
required for reproduction of any cartoon or illustration.
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EDITORIAL POLICY: The Virginia Law Weekly publishes letters and columns of interest to the Law
School and the legal community at large. Views expressed in such submissions are those of the author(s)
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the name, signature, and title of the person authorizing the submission. All letters and columns must
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be mailed from the author’s e-mail account. Submissions must be received by 5 p.m. the Monday before
publication and must be in accordance with the submission guidelines. Letters over 500 words and columns over 700 words may not be accepted. The Editorial Board reserves the right to edit all submissions
for length, grammar, and clarity. Although every effort is made to publish all materials meeting our
guidelines, we regret that not all submissions received can be published.
-Paul Mahoney
something on the stove until your
house is filled with smoke, etc. —
I’ve done them all, multiple times.
3. The most complicated contract
you’ve ever encountered: The
financing agreement for Disneyland Paris, which my law firm
worked on while I was there. The
deal had every ingredient necessary to guarantee contentious negotiations and overly complicated
agreements: a large, multinational
bank syndicate, the Walt Disney Company, and Frenchmen.
4. An amusement park ride that
you particularly enjoyed: Uhoh — you’ve zeroed in on my inner Grinch. I can’t stand amusement parks, even Disneyland
Paris. Fortunately, Julia and I
had a nice division of labor when
our sons were growing up: I
took them to sporting events,
she took them to amusement
parks, and everyone was happy.
5. A foreign law that you think
should be adopted in the U.S.:
England has an amazing residuum of old feudal privileges
that are obsolete but still on the
books. So various petty officials
are in principle entitled to a keg
of rum or a dozen dressed geese
or something like that from those
who use their services. It would
be great if, for example, each
new EIC of the Law Weekly had to
provide the Dean with a cask of
scotch.
the docket
Today
12:00 p.m. - PILA Grantee 2011
Luncheon (Caplin Pavilion)
Senior Contributor:
Columnists:
Contributors:
Copy Editor:
“I can’t stand
amusement parks, even
Disneyland Paris.”
Paul Mahoney
Contracts
Undergraduate: MIT ‘81
Law school: Yale ‘84
1:00 p.m. - Strategies for a Successful Law Firm Summer: Dean
Donovan and Patrice Hayden
will lead a discussion on ways
that 2Ls can make the most
of their summer at a law firm
(WB154)
Monday
Tuesday
12:00 p.m. - Legal Internships and
Entry-Level Hiring at the DOJ,
sponsored by the Public Service
Center (WB152)
11:30 a.m. - Virginia Loan Forgiveness Program Update for
1Ls and 2Ls (Caplin Auditorium)
4:00 p.m. - Summer Research Tutorial, taught by Law Library staff
(WB 103)
4:00 p.m. - Summer Research
Tutorial, taught by Law Library
staff (SL 298)
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
12:00 p.m. - Summer Research
Tutorial, taught by Law Library
staff (WB 104)
4:00 p.m. - SBA Spring Picnic
(Spies Garden)
11:45 a.m. - Debating the Ministerial Exception: A Preview of
Hosanna-Tabor Evangelical Lutheran Church and School v. EEOC
5:30 p.m. - J.B. Moore Society Annual Spring Picnic (Courtyard by
Scott Commons)
outside north
grounds
April 15 – Art and
Chocolate, Piedmont
Virginia Community
College, 5-7:00 p.m.,
free. Annual exhibit of works by
Piedmont Virginia Community
College art students. Attention
law students: There is a school
where you could have gone and
taken classes in sculpting and
eating chocolate. Remember that
when you’re sitting in your 8:00
a.m. Jurisprudence of Secured
Transactions: 1943-1955.
April 15 – Hamlet…
bent, Play On! Theatre,
8:00 p.m., website says
“pay what you want,”
so, free. Improv parody of Hamlet in which audience participation is not only encouraged but
relied upon. ONG will finally get
a chance to put to use all those
human skulls that ONG… found.
April 17 – Virginia
Gentlemen, Old Cabell Hall on Main
Grounds, 7:30 p.m.,
$5. If you know in advance that
you will only enjoy a concert if
there are a lot of Chris Brown
covers, you can safely skip this
one — it’s being put on for the
benefit of Charlottesville’s Sexual
Assault Resource Agency.
April 18 – The Pimps
of Joytime, The Southern, doors at 8:00 p.m.,
show at 9:00 p.m., $10.
This band plays afrobeat, salsa,
rock and electronica, but if your
April “music made by pimps”
budget is feeling tight you should
probably go ahead and save your
money for Snoop Dogg later this
month.
April 19 – Katie
Costello, The Southern, doors at 7:00 p.m.,
$8. ONG saw Katie
Costello (no relation to Elvis
Costello or Elvis Presley for that
matter) perform at SXSW and fell
in lust. She sang a song on which
she lamented, “I wish there was
a social excuse / to make you a
cassette tape.” ONG wishes there
was a social excuse to make Katie
Costello a sex tape.
April 20-21 – Car
Wars: The Revolution, JPJ, 9:00 a.m. –
8:00 p.m., free. Oh, so
you think you a baller? Own a
few chains, do ya’? Real ballers
buy cars, motherclunker. This is
a competitive auto auction, so if
you’ve been looking for a new
ride in which to pick up hitchhikers and coerce them into giving you sexual favors, then this is
your chance. If you haven’t been,
then you and ONG don’t have
much in common.
April 21 – Party Liberation Front Presents:
Electric Circus, The Jefferson Theater, doors
at 8:00 p.m., show at 9:00p.m.,
$10. ONG is a big supporter of
the Party Liberation Front. Too
many parties labor under onerous restrictions like clothing requirements, surrendering of keys
when drunk, and forcing people
to play Wii Bowling. The PLF is
doing God’s work.
Entertainment
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Friday, 15 April 2011
3
Pushermen: Virginiabred Duo “Clipse” Comes
to C’ville
Chris Browne, ‘13
Contributor
When Curtis Mayfield set out to
score the 1972 film Super Fly, he saw
an opportunity for engagement, not
just with the film’s story, but with its
underlying theme: The violent rise
of drugs in the inner city, namely,
Harlem.
Thankfully, Super Fly the film was
quickly forgotten: a campy relic of
the blaxploitation era of seventies
filmmaking. Superfly the soundtrack,
however, endures as a powerful
piece of social commentary. The album’s second track, “Pusherman,”
introduces a new character to popular music: the audacious, entrepreneurial drug pusher, who exhorts
“Feed me money for style /And I’ll
let you trip for a while.”
Hailing from Virginia Beach (by
way of the Bronx), brothers Terrence
and Gene Thornton (Malice and Pusha T, respectively) perform on the
razor’s edge of a subgenre known
as “cocaine rap.” If Curtis Mayfield presided over the marriage of
drug dealing and popular music,
the Thornton brothers, collectively
known as Clipse, have overseen its
consummation: their first major single and street anthem, 2002’s “Grindin,” tellingly begins with the stark,
familiar reminder, “I’m yo pusha.”
It’s not that the irony of Mayfield’s “Pusherman” was lost on the
Thorntons. Like Mayfield, the duo
focuses a great deal on the bleakness
and desperation surrounding the
drug game. But in a world where every platinum-certified MC from JayZ (a self-proclaimed former crack
dealer) to Rick Ross (an admitted
former correctional officer) boasts
incessantly about drug trafficking
bona fides, Clipse offers a singularly
gloomy, yet exacting glimpse of life
on the street.
To hear Clipse tell it, drug trafficking is more disciplined vocation
than lavish lifestyle; their brash, often rancorous lyrics have a way of
delegitimizing more mainstream
artists’ forays into coke rap: “I ain’t
coming at ya / quote, unquote famous rapper / Who turn positive /
tryin’ to tell ya how to live.”
Some critics have dismissed the
leitmotif as formulaic. And though
Clipse has certainly benefitted from
an aggressive marketing campaign
touting their pusher credibility (including a series of mixtapes), their
widespread appeal is more likely
the result of cutting-edge production and imaginative storytelling.
Pusha T and Malice seem to have
heeded the old literary agent’s
maxim, “Write what you know.” In
Clipse’s case, the world of cocaine
dealing is simply a familiar, welldeveloped milieu: “I’m from Virginia where ain’t shit to do but cook
/pack it up, sell it triple price / fuck
the books.”
Yet despite the eventual appeal
of cocaine rap as edgy subgenre,
Clipse’s rise to commercial success
was marked by false starts. Even
with the Top-40 popularity of fellow Virginians Timbaland (Norfolk)
and Missy Elliott (Portsmouth), the
Commonwealth was still something
of a hip-hop backwater in the early
1990’s. Mixtape DJs ignored most
of the brothers’ freestyle demos, not
photo courtesy of XXL
Do you guys serve Coke here?
sure what to make of their cocky delivery and dark, sometimes caustic
wit.
They did, however, have the good
fortune of meeting Virginia Beach
native (and hip-hop super-producer) Pharrell Williams in 1993, catching the young producer’s ear with
their clever, vengeful style (“Virginia’s for lovers / but trust there’s
hate here”). But even as Pharell and
co-producer Chad Hugo (collectively, “The Neptunes”) dominated
the pop and hip-hop charts with
their spacey, electro-synth beats, the
Thornton brothers simply couldn’t
catch on.
That all changed in 2001 when an
undeterred Pharrell signed Clipse
to his new label (Star Trak/Arista)
and provided the pair with a nearly
unlimited supply of sparse, drum
and synth-driven tracks along with
Pharell’s now-famous falsetto. The
result was Clipse’s 2002 debut Lord
Willin’ which went gold on the
strength of “Grindin’” — the unapologetically grim first single.
After a years-long legal dispute
following the Sony-BMG merger
put the release of a sophomore album on hold, Clipse went back to
its mixtape roots, releasing a series
of vicious tracks which led Pitchfork
Media to call Pusha T and Malice
“hip-hop’s meanest, smartest duo.”
The praise culminated with the release of Clipse’s second full-length
album, Hell Hath No Fury, a leaner,
but still Neptunes-tinged record.
The lead single, “Mr. Me Too,” gleefully bites the (record company)
hand that feeds — “And I’m sorry
to the fans / but the crackers weren’t
playing fair at Jive,” and the brothers are quick to dispel any doubts
about the real source of their newfound means: “Pyrex stirrers turned
into Cavali furs.”
On the strength of a new Pusha
T (now simply “Pusha”) mixtape
titled Fear of God, Clipse is once again
touring, and the brothers seem intent on embracing their rather eccentric audience of college students,
hipsters, and music bloggers.
Next Saturday, the Virginia-bred
duo will stop by Jefferson Theater
on the Downtown Mall to perform.
Doors open at 6:00 p.m., show starts
at 7:00 p.m.
If you go: General admission
shows are open on a first-come, firstserved basis. Show goes on rain or
shine. This is, of course, an alcoholfree event.
America, the Beautiful
Mark J. Littmann, ‘11
Contributor
When I first moved to Charlottesville, I was a naïve New Yorker who knew little about one of
America’s finest treats: barbecue.
Since then, my studies have taken
me to legendary places from Memphis to Lexington, N.C. (the “Barbecue Capital of the World,” naturally). And as I have had some of
America’s most outstanding barbecue, I have come to realize that
the Charlottesville area has its own
share of gems. Three years and a
lot of heart blockage has given me
an appreciation for these fine institutions, in order of deliciousness.
The Barbeque Exchange
(Gordonsville)
Barely a year old and already the
king of the area, The Barbeque Exchange is a worthwhile 30-minute
drive from Charlottesville. The Exchange is a pet project of locally renowned chef Craig Hartman, better known as the Executive Chef
of upscale restaurant Fossett’s at
Keswick Hall. I am a hole-in-thewall food guy, so I was skeptical
at first. However, after my visit,
the only thing on my mind was
the high quality food served in a
humble and informal atmosphere.
The quality of the food is excellent
across the board — from pulled
pork to ribs — and there are a variety of accompanying sauces that
enhance the flavor. The unanimous favorite among my group
was the spicier sauce, Hog Fire.
The Barbeque Exchange has memorable sides as well, like the hush
puppies and an impressive assortment of fried and flavored pickles.
A
Paulie’s Pig Out (Afton/Rte. 151)
Though way out in horse country, about 30-minutes west of the
Law School, you know you’re in
business here when you see Paulie’s smoker greeting you outside.
The inside is little more than an
ordering window, so have a plan
to eat elsewhere. But when you finally bite into that delicious pulled
pork sandwich, smoked in a tasty
sauce, you will not be disappointed. It’s the sides that truly shine
here, especially the outstanding
macaroni and cheese. The friendly
service makes you feel at home, except my mom never made barbecue this good. That’s what I get for
having a sister who is a vegetarian.
Drawbacks: if you don’t arrive early enough on popular days, they
do sell out; they’re closed Mondays and Tuesdays; cash only.
AJinx’s (Downtown)
If there is one place in Charlottesville that combines hole-in-thewall quirkiness with the superior
quality of a top barbecue joint,
Jinx is the clear choice. The pulled
pork is succulent and flavorful.
His menu is simple but classic, and
the man’s nearly religious devotion to his craft shows up in his
food. Unfortunately, his hours are
a little less dependable — he only
serves lunch Wednesday through
Sunday.
ABlue Ridge Pig (Nellysford/Rte. 151)
Blue Ridge Pig, though even farther away than Paulie’s on Route
151, is worth the drive. Nestled in
a building that blends in beside a
gas station and convenience store,
the quality of the meat here is
outstanding – well smoked to the
point of literally falling off the rib
bones.The sauce is a very unique,
somewhat bizarre mixture. It is
extremely subtle and mustardbased. Not my favorite. The sides
were not as inspiring as the meat,
but still worthy of admiration. The
ambience (yes, you can sit down
to eat), takes you to a totally different world from the Law School.
Again, make sure to bring cash.
B+
Buttz (The Corner)
Yes, the Corner has good barbecue. And it’s open late into the
night on weekends. I was skeptical
of its “best Texas brisket” claim at
first, especially because the chef
was wearing a Red Sox hat. But
once I tried it, I realized he wasn’t
far off. And fear not, I did not only
test this place out post-Bilt on a Saturday night. Unlike Little John’s, it
withstood the crucial sober tasting.
Moist and tender, the sliced brisket
was an impressive product. The
voodoo coleslaw stole the show:
a spicy slaw with sesame seeds.
Overall, it’s a wonderful barbecue
addition and the combination of
convenience and quality is promising/dangerous.
B+
Belmont (Belmont)
To call Belmont the worst of
Charlottesville would be misleading. We are lucky to have a respectable group of barbecue craftsmen
in our area; Belmont just happens
to be the least good. I still eat here
on occasion, but its main problem
is that the quality is inconsistent.
Sometimes the pulled pork rivals
its competitors and other times it
is just decent. Same goes for the
ribs.Perhaps the operation is just
bigger and loses some of the TLC
that is essential to a good barbecue
place.It just feels like a more commercial operation, not a barbecue
shack.
B
***
I am proud to be leaving Virginia Law not just with a top-notch
legal education and a massive
amount of debt, but also a taste for
some of the South’s finest offerings. You just can’t get that level of
authenticity in New York.
4
Columns
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Friday, 15 April 2011
Why Write a Column?
People write columns for various reasons.
Some have strong opinions they think other
people actually care about. Others feel the
Lizzy Hinkley ‘12
Columnist
debate often spurred by
a contentious column is
a healthy part of a wellfunctioning society. I
write a column so my
Dillard students know
how funny I am. I’ve found this hard to convey through my comments on their memos.
However, my journalism career has not always been fun and games. Until recently, I had
been on a decade-long hiatus from journalism
triggered by a scarring high school experience.
When I was a high school sophomore, I
joined my school’s student newspaper. Channeling my best Andrea Zuckerman, I made
it my duty to expose all of the injustices one
experiences while growing up in an affluent New England suburb. Naturally, my first
course of business was to write an exposé on
how the members of the wrestling team were
anorexic. Admittedly, I had just seen the Karen
Carpenter E! True Hollywood Story and was on
a bit of an anorexia witch-hunt. Regardless, I
did a damn good job. I interviewed current
and former members of the team. They told
me on the record that the extreme dieting and
exercise regimen imposed by the coaches left
them weak, tired, and unable to focus in school.
The teacher who
supervised
the
newspaper OK-ed
the article, and it
went to press.
The response
I got from other
students
was
great. The administration was
not as pleased. I
was called into
the athletic director’s office, told
that I had my
facts wrong, and
was instructed to
write and publish
photo courtesy of atlantafitnesscentersforwomen.com
an apology letter
Not an anorexic wrestler
addressed to the
team’s
coaches.
Aside from when Felicity cut her hair, I had and wrote movie reviews for the rest of high
never felt so wronged. I had engaged in seri- school.
ous investigative journalism and presented
Nothing positive came from nixing my arthe facts fairly. Yet, I was being silenced by the ticle. Many of the wrestlers wanted change,
administration because they were not happy as evidenced by their willingness to be interwith the message my article sent to parents. viewed. But nothing changed. Already petite
Worse yet, I was forced to discredit myself in men became more emaciated. Upon graduaan apology letter.
tion, a few team members joined the circus. I
So what did I do about it? Well, nothing. I am led to believe these two events were conhad two more years left in the joint and I didn’t nected. Possibly the greatest injustice of all, my
want to rock the boat. Also, there was a dance dream of going to Princeton on a joint field
that Friday and I had to focus on hair and hockey-journalism scholarship was shattered.
wardrobe. So, I submitted my apology letter Thankfully, I had the opportunity to attend
Princeton’s satellite campus for law school.
Part of writing for a publication is writing about issues that some people disagree
with, particularly when it reflects negatively
on them. A column calls to readers’ attention
something that the writer perceives as not
being right. It is nothing more than the individual writer’s opinion. As a reader, you can
either agree or disagree. As a party implicated
by the column, you are free to respond. And
as the piece’s author, the writer will be held
accountable for the column’s content (which
is more than the Above The Law “tipsters”
among us can say). This dynamic cultivates
an environment of open communication and
increased understanding of one other. If we
cannot achieve this in a context as small as a
school newspaper, then there is no hope of doing so on a larger scale.
Every school has its own athletic directors,
and I’m not referring to NGSL. Whether you
are a member of the faculty, the administration, or a student organization, you are entitled
to clarify a portrayal that you perceive to be
unfair. But no matter how much clout you
may hold, you cannot expect to completely silence the criticism. In law, ethics is the name
of the game. As law students, we should hold
ourselves to a high ethical standard and keep
in mind that, for better or for worse, high
school is over.
-eph4dt@virginia.edu
Peer Advisor Program Welcomes New Members
We have both been honored to serve as Peer Advisors for Sections F & G this past year and
want to thank Anna Craft and Noah Mink for their great leadership as P.A. co-directors. We
firmly believe that the P.A. program is one of our school’s most important programs and is
essential for perpetuating the congenial and supportive environment that defines U.Va. Law,
and we are both so excited to serve as co-directors of the P.A. Program in the year to come!
We are especially excited now that we’ve finally selected the 84 Peer Advisors for the 2011-12
academic year.
CONGRATULATIONS to the following new P.A.s:
Ikenna Adams, John Akin, Randy Barr, Michael Beeson, Sirisha Bendapudi, Lindsay
Brooker, Duncan Burke, Andrew Buttaro, Jack Cantrell, Mercy Changwesha, Katie Cragg,
Garry Gabison, Scott Galla, Andrew Garrahan, Emily Glaser, Jacob Gutwillig, Will Halliday,
Dena Harandi, Michelle Harrison, Chris Hatfield, Blaire Hawkins, Karl Herrmann, Kendall
Howes, Jerry Hsu, Daniel Johnson, Jamie Kaiser, Megan Kayo, Anna Kelly, Zuzanna Knypinski, Peter Jacob Kozaczuk, Alex Krueger-Wyman, Alyssa Kuhn, Lauren LaMontagne, Allison
Lansell, Christina Leaton, Denise Letendre, Ariel Linet, Elena Longa, Belinda Luu, Daniel
Maalo, Timothy Malone, Esha Mankodi, Blair Marsteller, Ben Massey, Cassandra Maximous,
Warren McCarty, Timothy McKernan, Emily Melson, Philip Messier, Michael Moskowitz,
Rebecca Muff, Lance Murashige, Andrew Mutter, Priscilla Ochu-Arthus, Kimberly Paschall,
James Percival, Tom Perez-Lopez, Jeff Porter, Donovan Powell, Amber Randolph, Laura
Richardson, Maury Riggan, Diane Rish, Maddy Rodriguez, Robbie Rogart, Cassie Ross, Kate
Saltz, Joel Sanderson, Rosanne Sangiacomo, David Seal, Ricky Shelton, Jim Sherwood, Egle
Sivaityte, Laura Smith, Jake Spilman, Greg Tung, Rhuju Vasavada, Katherine Vorhis, Marlee
Waxelbaum, Casey White, Jack Wickham, Esther Winne, Lindsey Yeargin, and Nick Zemil.
Selecting the above 84 PAs was challenging. More people applied this year than last year,
LEASING & MARKETING
CONSULTANT WANTED
In years past, Great Eastern Management Company
has had great success with hiring spouses of Grad
students and we would like to, once again, extend an opportunity to join our team. We are now accepting
resumes for a full-time Leasing Consultant position.
The ideal candidate must be outgoing, enthusiastic,
detail oriented and have excellent people and
communication skills. Comprehensive benefit package
may include a 2 bedroom apartment.
Send resume and salary requirement to Christina
Weaver, PO Box 5526, Charlottesville, VA 22905 or
email areamanager@gemc.com or fax (434) 963-2670.
and all 154 applicants were incredible. We were consistently amazed by our classmates’ accomplishments and it was a privilege to be able to meet everyone. The hardest part of our job
was disappointing seventy people.
Only 84 of over 1,000 students serve as a P.A. each year. Thus despite how important we
think the program is, we recognize that maintaining U.Va. Law’s friendly atmosphere takes
more than the advisors: it requires everyone here. And we hope that everyone — the new
P.A.s, the people we disappointed, and students who did not apply — will remain involved
and welcome next year’s incoming 1Ls, Transfers, and LL.M.s. 2011-12 is going to be a great
year!
-Michelle Anderson & Leanne Marek
Friday, 15 April 2011
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Stream of
I wonder if this is like Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle in that
my attempt to write things down
Paul Wagoner ‘12
Columnist
will
actually
change how I
think so that it’s
impossible to
convey what is
really going on
in my mind. The only way for that to
work would be a What Women Want
scenario.
I’ve never seen that movie, but I
remember in a trailer some broad
said she liked Mel Gibson’s ass. I
wonder if girls really think about
guys’ asses like that. If so, why?
Does it make them more evolutionarily fit or do they just do it because they think they’re supposed
to? What would a feral woman do?
Isn’t it crazy that feral kids can never
develop language? What if there
was a nuclear war and only a breeding pair of feral children survived?
Would we lose language? For how
long?
I’m kind of worried that this
stream of consciousness thing isn’t
going to work out too well, but I
figure it can’t be any worse than
that poem by Ginsburg about putting his queer shoulder to a wheel
or something. What was that called?
“Howl?” I feel like that might be
something else. I’m really bad at arts
and literature.
Sometimes when I watch Jeopardy!
I do better by just guessing the most
well known thing within a category.
Like if the category is “19th Century
British Literature,” I’m better off just
guessing Oliver Twist before I see the
clue than I am talking myself out of
it when I do see the clue. That’s kind
of like why I never check my work. I
overthink things.
When I walk from the Law School
to the parking lot, I try to find someone to talk to or someone I can call
so I don’t have to walk in silence. I
can’t stand silence. I would go crazy
in solitary confinement. I usually regret finding someone to call, though,
because while the five minute walk
is made better by listening to my
dad talk about high school basketball, I have to stay on the phone with
him for another twenty minutes. My
dad loves high school basketball —
both boys’ and girls’. He goes to all
the games. It’s kind of weird.
When I was a kid there was a guy
named Richard who was at like every youth sporting event ever. We
called him “The Great White” because he had white hair. It’s kind
of weird to think that “Whitey”
used to be an acceptable nickname.
The Great White knew all about all
of the little league teams and individual kids’ stats. It was crazy. He
told my buddy once that he would
come to the fields because his wife
had Alzheimer’s and he needed a
break from her. By 8th grade or so
I stopped seeing Richard. He probably died. It’s sad. It would have
Columns
5
C onsciousness
been nice if all the kids in the community showed up at his funeral in
a huge procession and left a single
rose on his casket like an episode
of Boy Meets World I saw where the
lunch lady died. But that stuff only
happens on TV.
Anyway, I think there should be
a network of bored people who can
just make small talk with each other
to avoid silence. Actually, that’s a
bad idea: That’s like ChatRoulette. I
wonder what it’s like to talk to Aaron Sorkin in real life.
I think Crayola should update
their boxes. They look really dated.
On the other hand, though, I guess
it doesn’t really matter. It’s not like
kids think they look dated. They
were just born.
Selling stuff to kids seems really
easy. That’s probably why people
like Madonna write children’s
books. Then again, I don’t think
Stephanie Meyer is a literary genius.
I wonder if James Franco is really so
smart or if he’s just really smug and
pretentious. I’d like to get to the bottom of that.
It would be fun for a semester to
come up with characters and have
a different character go to every
class. For every Evidence class, wear
a blonde mullet wig, and for every
Bankruptcy class walk in on crutches. That would really mess with
people. They’d be like, “you know,
the kid with the blonde mullet…”
and the other person would never
think that was the same kid as the
one who is on crutches. Wheelchair
would probably be funnier than
crutches, but would offend people
more.
Why do we use a base ten decimal system? I feel like it’s probably
because we have ten fingers. If we
had sixteen fingers would we use
hexadecimal? That seems crazy to
think about.
I hate that people overuse the
word random. I was watching an
Aziz Ansari special on Comedy
Central the other day and he said
that Scar was “the most random
Disney villain.” How can anything
be the most random? By definition
Disney villains should be equally
likely to come up if they’re random.
-paw4e@virginia.edu
6
Advertisement
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Friday, 15 April 2011
Friday, 15 April 2011
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
Columns
7
Whe n Law
Pr ofesso rs At t a c k
With peer advisor interviews and admitted student weekends so close together, I
found myself pondering what sort of adMarlee Waxelbaum ‘13
Columnist
vice I would give the next
generation of Virginia Law
students if any so foolishly
approached me for pearls of wisdom.
Guidance about extramurals and who not
to date (cough section M cough) seemed
too obvious and didn’t get at the real cause
of stress for most 1Ls – classes. It was then,
as I sat in my unidentified property professor’s class, watching him circle as a helpless classmate attempted to tread water,
that I realized what future 1Ls are most
in need of: a survival guide to help them
avoid predatory law professors.
Clearly, this defensive handbook would
be only one part of my overall Bear-Gryllsian manual of survival techniques to be
deployed in the event of a law professor
attack. To tide you all over until my book
is released, please find an excerpt below of
When Law Professors Attack: A Field Guide
for First Year Prey.*
“...[T]herefore, you must first identify
the native species of law professor before
you can properly assess how to best defend from an attack. When in doubt, how-
ever, feel free to execute all defensive maneuvers. If nothing else, you’ll amuse your
peers.
Bear Professors
Is your professor territorial, charging
only when threatened? Is your professor
reclusive, preferring to steer clear of students if at all possible? Then your professor is a bear, and, as you would when
defending against a bear, you must establish your territory as soon as you enter the
classroom. Loudly assert your presence
while simultaneously maintaining your
distance (i.e. sit in the back row and make
jokes). Should the bear-like professor decide to charge, you must appear as large as
possible while avoiding direct eye contact.
WikiHow.com/Escape-from-a-Bear (the
source of all this information... obviously)
stresses that you should “understand the
bear’s motivations,” which proves apt for
bear-like professors as well: “If a [law professor] appears to be stalking you (disappearing and reappearing, for example), or
if a [law professor] attacks at night, it most
likely sees you as food, and any attack will
be predatory. If you surprise a [law professor] on the trail, if the [law professor] has
cubs, or if the [law professor] is eating from
or protecting a carcass, the [law professor]
will most likely be acting in self-defense.”
Indeed, knowing the motivation of a
bear-like professor can help you determine
the best course of defensive action, be it backing
up slowly while maintaining eye contact or
trying to make yourself
larger while shouting.
Shark Professors
Does your professor circle slowly, looking for blood in the water before
attacking? Does your professor tend to
call out students who flail and wear flashy
clothing? Then your professor is a shark!
In addition to avoiding bleeding in the
water and flailing (i.e. showing weakness
of any sort), the best defensive maneuver
available against a shark professor is to
“punch” it where it is most vulnerable – in
the nose, ears, or gills. This move can come
in the form of a pithy response to a cold
call or even pointing out the weakness of a
professor (“Well, sir, I thought you said we
didn’t have to understand complex mortgages”), but must be delivered flawlessly
or else the shark will sense weakness and
continue its attack.
The brilliant writers at WikiHow.com/
Survive-a-Shark-Attack have also prescribed a method of self-preservation
against shark professors: “Playing dead
won’t deter an aggressive [law professor].
Your best bet if attacked is to make the
[law professor] see you as a strong, credible threat.”
T-Rex
Professors
Is your law
professor prehistoric, dating from the
Jurassic period (unless
you count that time they were
brought back to life for a limited engagement on an island)? Are their teeth
intimidatingly large? Then your professor, as you probably already figured out
from the header (your powers of deduction are strong, young padawan), is a TRex. Just remember the lessons of Jurassic
Park: don’t move – they can sense any sort
of movement. Also, even when you think
they can’t breed, they probably can, but
you probably shouldn’t spend too much
time thinking about that or else you might
not be able to keep a straight face in class.
T-Rex professors are becoming increasingly rare in the wilderness, however, so
spend minimal time preparing to confront
them.”
Copies of When Law Professors Attack: A
Field Guide for First Year Prey will be available in the bookstore in August provided
that the Law School foots the bill. Can I get
my advance now?
*What? Like I’m studying or something
and shouldn’t be writing a book? Whatever.
-mjw3xb@virginia.edu
8
The Back Page
VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY
financial fiduciary
Friday, 15 April 2011
Constructions
by Myles Mellor
Ten Things to Know About Debt & Borrowing
Whether you’re a 3L counting
down the days to graduation, a 1L
daunted by the amount of debt alBenjamin Grosz ‘11
Senior Columnist
ready accrued, or
a crusty professor
thinking about
financing a new
sports car, this column is for you.
As always, my aim in this column
is to offer some practical financial
tips and advice to law students.
Specifically, this column focuses on
how to think about and plan your
debt and borrowing as you manage your financial affairs. My hope
is that you will discover at least one
helpful nugget that you can apply to
improve your situation.
Debt Can Be Good
As a starting point, I think it is important to acknowledge that debt is
not always bad. Although irresponsible borrowing (and spending) can
lead individuals (and countries) to
financial ruin, debt can be a great
tool when used properly. Without
the opportunity to borrow money,
there would be far fewer people
owning their own homes or attending U.Va. Law.
There are both good and bad kinds
of debt. One general rule is that it is a
bad idea to borrow money to pay for
consumption. In other words, don’t
borrow money to pay for a fabulous
vacation or fancy new car. These are
things you don’t need, so if you can’t
afford them without debt then you
should start saving for them. On the
other hand, using debt to invest for
the future (e.g. education) or pay for
something that you do need (such as
a roof over your head or transportation) can make good financial sense.
How Much Debt is OK?
The simple answer is that loans
can be fine, when you can afford to
repay them. Here are a few general
rules of thumb to follow.
(1) Avoid being “underwater” on
your secured loans by having positive equity in any assets that you finance. In simple terms, make sure
that your house or car is worth more
than you owe on it.
(2) If you borrow money to buy
something, your loan repayment
term should not last longer than the
asset’s useful life. In other words, a
30-year mortgage can make good
sense, but a 10-year car loan seems
crazy. Because education provides
employment options and typically
leads to a higher salary for your
working lifetime, it may be quite
reasonable to face thirty years of student loan payments.
(3) A monthly mortgage payment
should not exceed 28 percent of
your monthly gross income. When
buying a house, if your mortgage
would be much higher, you probably should think twice about how
much house you can afford.
(4) Other debt payments should
be less than 10 percent of your
monthly gross income. It is further
recommended to limit your total
debt payments (including any mortgage) to less than 36 percent of your
income.
Borrow Money Smartly
The two most important ways to
borrow smartly are to (1) know and
understand the terms of debt, and
(2) minimize the cost of borrowing.
You could borrow from banks, credit unions, the government, family
members, or even a pawnshop. Your
loans could be secured by property
photo courtesy of puntabulous.com
Less Money Mo’ Problems.
or might be unsecured. Other important elements of a loan are the
length of the loan term, whether the
interest rate is fixed or variable, fees
and the interest rate. It is important
that you understand all the loan
terms. If the salesman or loan officer
can’t or won’t clearly explain them
to you, be afraid.
Most borrowers are primarily
concerned with paying the lowest
interest rate. While the instinct to
minimize cost is noble, it is important to remember that the true cost of
debt includes both interest and any
fees. To get the best deal on a loan, as
with any other product, shop around
to save money. Fees, rates, and terms
can differ significantly for mortgages, car loans, and credit cards.
Secure Credit Sources Strategically
Be strategic about how you seek
credit. Remember that lenders are
usually reluctant to loan money
to those who need or really want
a loan, but eager to make loans to
those who already seem secure. This
is one reason you’ll usually get a better interest rate when you put more
money down towards the purchase
of a home or car. If you are planning
to get a credit card this year, be strategic about it. A soon-to-graduate 3L
will very likely get a better deal after
starting a job.
Put Your Best Foot Forward
You can also be strategic in how
you present yourself when seeking
loans. As with dating, you’ll want to
make a good impression (while still
being honest). This story from one
of my friends is illustrative. In the
spring of her 3L year at U.Va. Law
she was planning an August vacation abroad to celebrate graduation
and completing the bar exam. In
preparation for her trip she sought
a credit card that did not charge
extra fees on foreign currency transactions. One question on the credit
card application was “annual in-
faculty quotes
J. Cannon: There was an allegation that the skeet-shooting
club constituted a point source
discharge.
J. Harrison: You ever had a
Molson beer?
Student: No.
J. Harrison: No? That’s terrible. You’ll have to rectify that.
Not during class, though.
A. Simmons: Just an analytical
exercise? My God, man! We’re
talking about what philosophers do, here!
come.” She had earned $15,000 the
previous summer, was not working during the school year, and had
accepted a law firm job that would
pay $160,000 per year starting after
Labor Day. How would you have
answered the annual income question…?
She simply wrote that her annual
income was negligible because she
annualized her non-existent salary
in April of 3L year. Despite her pristine credit history she was assigned
a credit limit of only $300. Had she
instead put her expected starting
salary, her expected income for that
calendar year or even her income
from the previous calendar year
she would have undoubtedly been
approved for a much higher credit
limit.
The same idea applies when
applying for financial aid, but in
reverse. You probably want to
strategically minimize your assets
and income for this exercise. For
example, I waited to complete my
FAFSA form until after I had bought
my wife her engagement ring. Had
I completed the FAFSA earlier, I
might have been expected to contribute those savings towards law
school and been approved for fewer
loans – and my wife would not have
been pleased.
Control Your Debt (So It Doesn’t
Control You)
As law students, debt is something with which we’re familiar. It
can seem daunting, but thoughtful
planning and strategy can help you
borrow smarter and effectively manage your debt.
-blg3h@virginia.edu
Columnist’s Note: I strive to offer
sincere, good faith advice in this column,
although we do not legally enter into a
fiduciary relationship when you read it.
Editor’s Note: Benjamin Grosz ‘11 is
founder and principal of Grosz Financial
Planning, LLC and is a candidate for
CFP Board’s certification.
C. Barzun: You’re saying you
want to willfully break the
law?
Student: Yeah, sure, if that
helps your argument.
C. Barzun: Even if there are
children around?
M. Collins: To paraphrase
Professor Nelson, why remand
it to the Ninth Circuit anyway?
It’s just going to come back!
J. Fischman: I wouldn’t assume utmost professionalism
on the part of Nigerian drug
smugglers.
C. Sprigman: If anyone is a
pathological self-hater, please
email me.
Across
1. Shuttlecock
5. Ho Chi Minh City
11. Calendar abbr.
14. Brother of Jacob
15. Burning
16. Chemical ending
17. Developer
19. Pilot’s announcement,
briefly
20. Watery motion
21. Watch the bottom
23. Tree under which
Buddha was born
24. Storage cylinder
26. Textile designer and print
maker Albers
27. 1545 council site
29. “Cheaper by the dozen”
actress, Hilary
32. Kind of room
33. Crumb
35. Plane, e.g.
37. Parked oneself
38. Real estate listing
information, often
41. Cow or sow
43. Kind of palm
44. Low card
45. Microscope part
47. Study, say
49. Medieval light
53. Four Corners state
54. Ancient alphabetic
character
56. Before, of yore
57. End of boyish period
61. Potato measurement
63. Track action
64. Commodore’s lyric, “She’s
____” and home description
66. Be off base
67. Ending
68. Boxer Spinks
69. Jamie Foxx’s legend
70. Out of it
71. Sheltered, at sea
Down
1. Bidding
2. Meteorologist’s line
3. Talk aimlessly
4. The Everly Brothers
composition
5. Riyadh resident
6. Away from home
7. Under the weather
8. Moves restlessly
9. Foreboding
10. Roman fiddler
11. Gentleness
12. Wave catcher
13. One not wearing rose
colored glasses
18. Eating places
22. St. Louis pro
25. Alfresco
28. Parent’s order
30. FYI part
31. Contractor’s measure
34. Ski lift
36. Opposite of sophisticated
and advanced
38. All the renters on an estate
39. It may need massaging
40. Jersey call
41. Type of party
42. Greek woman who was a
social climber
46. “Quiet!”
48. Clout
50. Fill up the tank again
51. Defoe character
52. Satellite of Saturn
55. A natural juice
58. Clods
59. Life lines?
60. Bond opponent
62. Kind of nut
65. 007 creator Fleming