OUTNORTHWEST - LGBT Foundation
Transcription
OUTNORTHWEST - LGBT Foundation
FOR OVER 16’s ONLY! NEWS • COMMENT • HEALTH • COMMUNITY • LISTINGS Your Magazine for Life PUBLISHED BY Ending Homophobia, Empowering People OUTNORTHWEST ISSUE 121 APR - MAY 2014 FREE! www.lgf.org.uk Registered Charity No.1070904 OVER & OUT! OUTNORTHWEST BOWS OUT • WE LOOK BACK OVER 14 AMAZING YEARS! OUTNORTHWEST EDITOR’S LETTER APR - MAY 2014 All good things I’m not really sure how to start this editorial. As you may have guessed from our fantastic wraparound cover, this is the final issue of outnorthwest. That’s it. No more. It’s not been an easy decision to make, and you can read exactly why we’ve decided to end the magazine on page 23, in a special piece by Paul Martin, OBE - Chief Executive of The Lesbian & Gay Foundation. I’ve edited (and designed) outnorthwest for 14 years now, and there’s no denying the LGB landscape has changed dramatically in that time - especially the way we access information. I’ve always considered myself a bit of magazine junkie, but over the last couple of years, with the advernt of tablet devices, I’ve bought fewer and fewer magazines - instead opting for digital editions. So, in a way, I’m not too surprised that this might have an impact on print magazines like ONW. might not otherwise have had one. We’ve made a differrence. I know this because you’ve told me. For that I’ll always be grateful. I’m also very grateful for everyone who has contributed to the production of ONW over the last 14 years. Obviously too many to mention here, but every single contribution has been appreciated. I’m very proud to say that the majority of our contributers over the years have been volunteers - some of whom have gone on to bigger and better things. I’d like to think that ONW had some positive impact on those people. Ending Homophobia, Empowering People www.lgf.org.uk Registered Charity No.1070904 outnorthwest is published every two months by The Lesbian & Gay Foundation, Number 5, Richmond Street, MANCHESTER. M1 3HF. General Enquiries: 0845 3 30 30 30 E-mail: grahame.robertson@lgf.org.uk EDITORIAL TEAM EDITOR & LAYOUT Grahame Robertson Finally, and without wishing to sound cheesey, I want to thank every single person who ever picked up a copy of ONW. If anything you read in these pages made you stop and think, get involved, get tested, or even get angry - then we’ve achieved everything we set out to do. I’ll miss this magazine. So much. Thank you all for giving me this opportunity. I’m unspekabably proud of everything this magazine has accomplished over the last 14 years. We’ve campaigned, reported, celebrated and given a voice to those who MY FAVOURITE OUTNORTHWEST COVER We’ve had some amazing covers over the years, just take a look at our wraparound cover and you’ll see all 121 of them! My favourite was undoubtedly this one by the fabulously talented Damien May. As a result of this cover, bus-driver Damien went on to produce covers for audio drama producers Big Finish, producing amazing artwork for their Doctor Who and Blake’s 7 audio ranges. Oh, and for a final word from Russell T Davies, why not turn to page 26... LAYOUT & LISTINGS Mark Eastwood NEWS EDITOR:Jen Lau MEN’S HEALTH EDITOR Stacey Adams WEB EDITOR Marc Robinson DISTRIBUTION Shaun Lloyd, Sam Whalley, James Derham; Martin Cooper. CONTRIBUTORS Rachel Bottomley; Lucy Rolfe; Andrew Gilliver; Kate Hardy; Connie Lingus; Sian Lambert; Jakeb Arturio Braden; Gaydio; Martin Cooper; Stacey Adams; Debbie Edwards; Sam Days SPECIAL THANKS Sharon and Sharon; James Derham; Peter; Aderonke; Russ Chenery-Preen; Manbears; Michael Snaith; Ian Dyer; Paul Martin, OBE; Claire Harvey; Russell T Davies; Sue Nzilani; Martin Wells; Rosie Adamson-Clark; Kate Jopling. ADVERTISING For information on advertising in outnorthwest, contact us on 0845 3 30 3 0 30. Or e-mail grahame.robertson@lgf.org.uk Cheerio! x IF YOU DO ONE THING THIS WEEK END HOMOPHOBIA AT YOUR OLD SCHOOL! Were you bullied and teased at school because you were lesbian, gay or bisexual? Imagine you could go back to your old school and make it safer for those young people who are suffering the same today. You can. For a small donation of only £20, the LGF’s Enough Is Enough campaign will send a ‘Safer Schools Pack’ to your old school on your behalf. You can even send a personal message with the pack. To find out more, visit www.lgf.org.uk/enough today. INSIDE OUT REGULARS 04 ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! We report back from LGBT Question Time. 32 f.org.u www.lg 26 RUSSELL T DAVIES GAY MEN’S HEALTH 06 NEWS & OPINION We look at Equal Marriage and the latest news from across the LGB North West! 14 VILLAGE PEOPLE The bears are back in town, We talk to the guys behind The Great British Bear Bash. 16 UP YOUR WAY What’s going on in your region. 38 LISTINGS Every LGB&T service in the north west. FEATURES 20 DEALING WITH LOSS Ian Dyer, who lost his partner just before Christmas talks about dealing with loss. 22 GOODBYE ONW! It’s the end, but the moment has been prepared for.... 16 UP YOUR WAY AND MORE! 18 TALKING POSITIVE A brand new regular feature. 22 OUTSPOKEN This issue: Claire Harvey 27 WOMEN When we grow up we want to be like these women... 28 OLDER LGB PEOPLE Life doesn’t stop when you reach 50! 06 32 MEN’S HEALTH Sauna, great sex and shigella! Look after your sexual health! 36 GET INVOLVED! How do you fancy getting fit, and raising money for a good cause at the same time? Get involved! RUSSIA Homophobia ACTION against www.lgf.org.uk/enough DISCLAIMER Publication of the name or photo of any person in this magazine should not be taken as any indication of the sexual orientation or HIV status of that person. All views expressed in outnorthwest are not necessarily those of the Editor or The Lesbian & Gay Foundation. outnorthwest recognises all copyrights. Where possible, we have acknowledged the copyright holder. Contact us if we have failed to credit your copyright and we will happily correct any oversight. obia moph st Ho again N IO gh ACT k/enou 27 WOMEN Homophobia ACTION against TAKING ACTION www.lgf.org.uk/enough LGBT QUESTION TIME 2014 HOMOPHOBIA WHAT CAN BE DONE? The lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans community (LGB&T) community had their say on safety and hate crime when Manchester City Council hosted its second annual LGBT Question Time Event in partnership with organisations, including The LGF, and service providers from across Manchester. The event was a great success, with three times as many people in attendance compared to last year. Those unable to attend kept up with the action by following The LGF’s live twitter feed and as a result the Twitter hashtag #MCCQT trended in Manchester. It proved to be a very lively debate, covering a range of key areas including Manchester Pride, Crime and Safety, Health, LGB&T Services and Education. As part of LGBT History Month, the LGB&T community were invited to Manchester Town Hall to pitch their questions to a group of panellists including: Councillor Bev Craig, Lead Member for Lesbian and Bisexual Issues, Manchester City Council; Paul Martin OBE, Chief Executive, The Lesbian & Gay Foundation; Craig Harris, Executive Nurse and Director, NHS Manchester; Tony Lloyd, Police and Crime Commissioner; Ryan, TREC; and Jake Adshead, Manchester Youth Council / LGBT Youth North West. The event was chaired independently by Ali Khan from Big Shop Comedy. The audience really engaged and took part in the event by asking their own questions to the panel as well as submitting questions in advance, but interestingly one of the main focuses of discussion was on hate crime and safety. The LGF’s recent report found that half of LGB people living in Manchester experience There was a lively debate about hate crime and homophobia at the recent LGBT Question Time. homophobic or biphobic hate crime, but very few report it (see page 11) so it seemed apt that these issues were brought to the forefront of discussion. The importance of encouraging people to report hate crime was emphasised by audience members as Police and Crime Commissioner Tony Lloyd said: “Hate crime needs to be challenged. There has to be solidarity from people wherever hate crime comes from. We’ve got to learn from the gains made in other areas. We know that some types of hate crime are massively under-reported, transphobia for example. We 04 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk need to give people the confidence to report.” Dawn Pomfret from Transforum asked why the Greater Manchester Police (GMP) failed to include transphobia in their hate crime poster campaign and if the lack of visible support for the trans community affected low reporting rates. Mr Lloyd replied that it shouldn’t have been excluded and that he will do everything he can to ensure that it doesn’t happen again. Understanding the basics of trans issues was an important point made by Ryan from TREC, who stated that trans people don’t feel safe travelling on public transport to visit the Village and to attend TREC meetings. TWEET US! LIKE US! Search for ‘Enough Is Enough! Action Against Homophobia’ on Facebook. OPINION PETER DAVIES In response Councillor Bev Craig recognised that the council have been trying to build engagement with trans groups to improve visibility in all areas by working with scrutiny committees and developing strategies. Educating young LGB&T people about hate crime and bridging the gap between them and the police was also considered as an important issue. Jake Adshead from LGBT Youth North West suggested that training the police and changing their attitudes would be a positive step forward. NHS Manchester are also working with the police on broadening their understanding of mental health issues. The panel acknowledged that budget cuts have reduced the number of police officers patrolling the streets and that the perception of the Village as being a dangerous place also needs to stopped. The LGF’s Village Angels were shown as a great example of the community policing itself to help breakdown these barriers. Safety in the Village was highlighted by The LGF’s Paul Martin, who spoke about the Village Angels seeing on average of up to 120 people every evening and acting as a bridge between venues, door-staff, the police and the emergency services. He highlighted that the Angels sometimes intervene with quite challenging situations and come up with rapid, positive solutions. Going forward, panellists will look at actions taken from the event and will keep you updated. Making your voice heard and having your say on your community about issues that matter to you is paramount in tackling issues, such as crime and safety, so please let us know what you think – it’s your future too. You can listen to the full unedited recording of the event at: www. soundcloud.com/lesbian-1/lgbtquestion-time-2014 A full report will also be available to download soon from The LGF’s website. “If it takes Tyler Curry (an openly gay man) to define exactly what bisexuality is in his online article, then it only takes another member of the community to realise his words to make it a success. I do find that terribly ironic since whenever I read any article written by bisexual people, the supporters are scarce and the comments disparaging and filled with ridicule. The thing is, when a bisexual man or women opine anything on the subject it’s usually met with defence. You know it’s going to be swamped with adjectives you’ve probably never heard before and it’s going to be full frontal assault to the larger community. You may have instantly switched off in that moment and turned the page/website because your back is up. When Curry wrote his “A second look at bisexuality” it was in clear simple English. I didn’t need to commission a sociological research project to find the proper meaning of words like “cis” and “heteronormative” in their exact definitions to understand just what the hell I was reading. It’s not light reading and it’s quite disheartening because what few published articles on the subject of bisexuality there is, they’re chocked full of this academic reasoning. It’s as if it took a group of gay people to set up a community, fight to oppression, gain marriages and equal rights over successive generations, but it takes thousands of hours and something like 15 post-grad degrees to discover something as simple as the definition of bisexuality. Follow us and get involved in the conversation on Twitter, @lgfoundation BY THE BI There can be such a thing as overcompensation. Considering the (very real) discrimination from both straight and gay communities it almost seems like most articles are overwhelmingly trying to justify bisexuality through studies, academic sources and big grown up words that the average person will never understand. Why? If you want a definition of bisexuality –and from a guy’s point of view for a change – then why not just ask. I don’t see gay men and lesbian women throwing reports here and there. What they do is just generally accept it (for the most part) and if anybody disrespects it they laugh in the face of adversity and band together. Though I realise that the bi community doesn’t have such a large presence, this may explain the overcompensation to a degree. It has to be said that there are many benefits however from having official reports, especially when they outline key topics, grey areas and issues. The average reader who is questioning coming out as bi isn’t always going to understand bisexuality through this type of publication. Support encourages coming out, which unfortunately the bi community has often failed to do (for me anyhow). I got more support from the LGF back then than I ever got from the bi community when I struggled to come out, and believe me, I looked hard for bi support” peter.davies@lgf.org.uk Pete x AGENDA IN DEPTH NEWS, COMMENT AND ANALYSIS APR-MAY 2014 GE IA R R A M L A U Q E A TALE OF TWO SHARONS Sharon and Sharon have been together for two years and are set to get married on 14th June this year. Their story resembles a film plot - with two characters that are so close to meeting but are frustratingly kept apart until the end - when fate magically brings them together. They both grew up in Wigan, living only two streets apart from each other - they even played in the park together when they were seven years old. They attended the same primary school, but went to different high schools, where they only knew of one another through friends. Four years ago, they managed to find each other again through Facebook and stayed friends for a few years before they noticed a spark had naturally developed between them. The beginning of their relationship wasn’t easy as they both left their current partners to be together. Their exes were understandably upset, but Sharon and Sharon both knew they had to be together. Sharon Swift, 44, had been with her previous partner for 26 years, since she was a teenager, so it was very difficult for her when their relationship ended. She suffered As the first same sex marriages take place from 29th March, we talk to Sharon and Sharon, who are getting married in June from a breakdown, but with the help of Sharon Murphy and seeing a counsellor, she set her life back on track. Having lost touch since they were youngsters, it’s only from sharing stories now that they’ve realised how surprising it is that they never crossed paths. On reflection, they think maybe it just wasn’t the right time for them to be together. Now, it seems everything has fallen into place and they’ve never looked back since. Sharon Murphy, 43, never wanted a civil partnership because she always dreamed of being married, so now it means even more to her that it’s about to come true. 06 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk They really wanted to share their positive story for the first year of equal marriage because they’re such a normal couple. But being a normal, happy couple in love is what makes them so spectacular in the first place. Keep up with Sharon and Sharon’s love story as we continue to celebrate equal marriages on The LGF’s website. Also we’re still looking for same-sex couples to share their stories so if you’re interested then we’d love to hear from you! Please email: jen.lau@lgf.org.uk AGENDA APR-MAY 2014 CONTACT US: outnorthwest, The Lesbian & Gay Foundation, Number 5, Richmond Street, Manchester M1 3HF EMAIL: jen.lau@lgf.org.uk TWITTER: @lgfoundation CALL: 0845 3 30 30 30 WHY I’M RUNNING TRIBUTE FOR THE LGF REV. JANE BARRACLOUGH 28TH JULY 1963 – 3RD MARCH 2014 It is with much sadness that we recently learned of the passing of Revd Jane Barraclough, after suffering for some time with cancer. Many LGBT people will know Jane for her role as a Minister at Cross Street Chapel, Manchester but also as a stalwart of the Challenging Hate Forum. Community Engagement Officer James Derham explains why he’s running the BUPA London 10k for The LGF’s Charity Challenges... What made you want to undertake a Charity Challenge? For me, taking part in a Charity Challenge is great because as well as raising money for a good cause, you can set yourself a personal challenge. As I’ll be doing a run - and I’m by no means an athlete – I’m expecting it to be quite ‘challenging!’ Why did you want to run this race (BUPA London 10k) specifically? I wanted to do the 10k as I think that it’s about as far as I’ll be able to run! I chose London as the route is full of landmarks which I’m hoping will distract me during the run… and also it’s an excuse to visit London for a long weekend! What made you choose The LGF to run and fundraise for? As an LGF staff member, I see the great work volunteers do for us on a daily basis and wanted to do something extra myself. The wide range of services The LGF offers are invaluable for many LGB people and I’m proud to be running the streets of London wearing an LGF vest. Have you taken part in any runs before? This will be my third 10k – I’ve run both the Manchester and London 10k once each before. Whilst I’d never class myself as sporty or athletic, there’s a great feeling of achievement you get from crossing the finishing line which has made me sign up for a third time. What do you think will be the most difficult aspect of your Charity Challenge? In previous years, the hardest thing has been getting motivated to stick to a training regime. What are you most looking forward to? I’m looking forward to crossing the finishing line and having a slap up meal with my friends afterwards! Do you want to take ACTION against homophobia? Are you up for a challenge? Not only will it have an impact on the LGB community, it’ll keep you nice and healthy too! So we’re all winners! You’ll be given support and advice to help you reach your training and fundraising goals, you’ll also get an LGF pack which includes guides to training, some useful fundraising tips and a free Enough is Enough! running top! We’ve still got individual and group places left in the BUPA Great Manchester Run on 18th May or the London BUPA 10k on 25th May. For further information, please visit: www.lgf.org.uk/run Registration closes at the end of April so don’t delay in contacting us if you’d like to join Team LGF! To get involved, please contact the Volunteer Manager by email: charlotte. cooke@lgf.org.uk or call 0845 3 30 30 30. We remember her constant support for the LGBT community over the years, particularly around holding civil partnerships at Cross Street, which was the first place of worship to register for same sex civil partnerships, and Jane enjoyed conducting several such ceremonies. Jane began her ministry at Cross Street Chapel, in 2008, and will be remembered for the spirituality of her leading worship, her love of poetry, and the depth and intellectual challenge of her addresses, and also for her deep compassion in her care of people. Over the last couple of years her health had deteriorated, and by the end of 2013 it was clear that terminal cancer had developed. Jane was cared for by her family in Reading, and also in a local hospice. She died on 3 March. There was a private funeral on 17 March, to be followed by memorial services and celebrations of her life in London on 26 April, and in Manchester, provisionally arranged for 11 May. Outnorthwest would like to pay tribute to Jane and send our condolences to all who knew her, worked with her and who benefitted from her kindness and support. She will be greatly missed by all. http://cross-street-chapel.org.uk/ www.lgf.org.uk OUTNORTHWEST 07 AGENDA APR-MAY 2014 WILL WEEK: PARTICIAPTING SOLICITORS DONALD RACE & NEWTON SOLICITORS Burnley (Lancashire) – SEE AD FOR FULL DETAILS Contact: Sara Jane Chorkley Email: sjc@drnlaw.co.uk Tel: 01282 433241 Website: www.drnlaw.co.uk 10% of fees paid by will makers during ‘LGB Will Week’ donated back to The LGF – supporting LGF via paid advertising HARGREAVES GILMAN SOLICITORS Didsbury (Manchester) Contact: Deborah Millington Email: deborahmillington@hargreavesgilman.com Tel: 0161 443 1711 Website: www.hargreavesgilman.com 100% donation of standard will maker fee will be made back to The LGF during ‘LGB Will Week’ dependant on complexity ALFRED NEWTON SOLICITORS Office in Stockport, Bredbury & Wilmslow Stockport: 0161 480 6551 – mail@alfrednewton.com Bredbury: 0161 430 8831 bredbury@alfrednewton.com Wilmslow: 01625 523647 Wilmslow@alfrednewton.com Website: www.alfrednewton.com 100% of the basic fee from the will maker will be donated back to The LGF during ‘LGB Will Week’ CLIFFORD JOHNSTON & CO SOLICITORS Offices at Burnage & Fallowfield (Manchester) Contact: Christopher Furbey Email: C.Furbey@cj-law.co.uk Tel: 0161 975 1908 Website: www.cj-law.co.uk 100% of the basic will fee from the will maker will be donated back to The LGF during ‘LGB Will Week’ B. J. MCKENNA & CO SOLICITORS LLP Heaton Moor (Stockport) Contact: Bernard McKenna (Senior Partner) Email: bj.mckenna@zen.co.uk Tel: 0161 432 5757 Web: www.bjmckenna-solicitors-stockport.co.uk Will do wills at half price based on a suggested donation back to The LGF during ‘LGB Will Week’ NELSONS LAW Online Will Service for anyone in the UK Tel: 0800 024 1976 Website: www.nelsonsonline.co.uk Using this online service couldn’t be easier with a friendly ear just on the end of the line for any questions you have. Please use the code LGF2014 in the basket stage of the transaction and Nelson’s will donate 10% of fees back to The LGF over the next 12 months. WILL WEEK Why it’s important to make a will if you’re getting Married, you’re in a Civil Partnership and even more so if you’re living together. It’s important for you to make a will whether or not you consider you have much valuable ‘stuff’ or much cash in the bank. Even if you are now going to marry the love of your life you still need to protect your loved one by making a formal arrangement via a will. So what’s the bad news? Well, if you die without a will, there are certain rules which dictate how the cash, property or ‘stuff’ should be allocated. This may not be the way that you would have wanted your money and possessions to be distributed. Unmarried partners and partners who have not registered a civil partnership cannot inherit from each other unless there is a will, so the death of one partner may create serious financial problems for the remaining partner. If your circumstances have or are going to change, it is important that you make a will to ensure that your money and possessions are given out according to your wishes. For example, if you have separated and your expartner now lives with someone else, you may want to change your will. If you marry after the end of March or enter into a registered civil partnership, this will make any previous will you have made invalid. IS IT NECESSARY TO USE A SOLICITOR? It is generally advisable to use a solicitor or to have a solicitor check a will you have drawn up to make sure there are no loop holes that could cause problems should you die. Sorting out misunderstandings & disputes after your death may result in big legal costs, which will reduce the amount of money in your estate, it’s also very stressful for those involved. There are some circumstances when it is particularly advisable to use a solicitor. These are where:• • • You share a property with someone who is not your husband, wife or civil partner. You wish to make provision for a dependant who is unable to care for themselves. There are several family members who may make a claim on the will, for 10 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk 08 example, a second spouse or children from a first marriage. If you’d also like to make a legacy pledge to a charity close to your heart its important to use a solicitor to specify either a set amount or a percentage of the remaining estate on your death. This will ensure that the charity of choice can then continue to do this work way into the future. For further information about leaving a valuable legacy to the Lesbian & Gay foundation please email debbie.edwards@lgf. org.uk HOW MUCH DOES A SOLICITOR COST? The charges for drawing up a will vary between solicitors and also depend on the complexity of the will. Before making a decision on who to use, it is always advisable to check with a few local solicitors to find out how much they charge. Solicitors in the locality of LGF’s work are taking part in our LGB specific ‘Will Week’ from Monday 28th April through to Friday 2nd May 2014. If you make an appointment with anyone off this list during this specific week a percentage of your fee paid will come back to The LGF to help us help LGB people in crisis this year (varying donations see full list for details). e i n n CLingus COMMUNITY SAFETY Half of LGB people living in Manchester experience homophobic or biphobic hate crime – but very few report it The LGF provides a variety of services to support those affected by hate crime as detailed in the report – including the experiences of Sue* who had been the victim of a number of homophobic attacks near her home and was concerned that it would escalate. She reported the attacks to police, but felt that she wasn’t getting the support she needed. The LGF was able to support Sue through a range of services including our pop-in service, legal advice surgery, police surgery and counselling service. Sue is now accessing one of The LGF’s peer support groups which is helping to rebuild her confidence. The report highlights we don’t know enough about LGB people’s experiences in other areas of community safety because of a lack of sexual orientation monitoring in public services. This issue we’re talking older ladies. It may sound crude but I hand on heart believe that women are like a fine wine – no we’re not better with cheese, we get better with age! So menopause is a thing, and yes, most of us will go through this at some point in our lives. We’re warned that we need to expect a decline in our sex drive, greying hair, a decline in selfesteem and on top of all this the NHS tell us that 84% of menopausal women find sex painful. In fact, there’s a perception that as we get older we stop having sex altogether. A report launched by The LGF with the support of Manchester City Council’s Equalities Team - Community Safety: the state of the city for Manchester’s lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) communities – has found that LGB people’s needs are not being recognised and addressed across Manchester when they are most in need of support. Sadly, homophobic and biphobic hate crime is a common experience among the LGB community, yet reporting of it is low; nearly half of LGB people living in Manchester have experienced a homophobic or biphobic hate crime or incident, but 62% of them did not report it. Substantial evidence shows that experience of hate crime and increased fear of becoming a victim of crime have a significant negative impact on LGB people’s lives. Hello Vagina Diners! Well I say NO MORE! If you look at the data of STI prevalence rates (like I’m sure most of you do) you’ll find that STI rates in the over 60s are increasing. No, you can’t get chlamydia off a toilet seat, so this means that many older people are continuing to be sexually active! This also means that there is little evidence that services in Manchester are aware of or meeting the needs of the community. The LGF’s Policy and Research Manager Heather Williams said: “We hope that agencies across the city will take up the recommendations in order to better understand and meet the needs of LGB people in Manchester.” The report sets out a series of recommendations, including sexual orientation monitoring in order to improve services for LGB people, and working together to challenge community perceptions of hate crime reporting. It also highlights the Village Action Group’s emerging plan for the area – ‘healthier and happier people to be using a safer and cleaner Village with more to do both day and night.’ The report can be downloaded here: www.lgf.org.uk/communitysafety *Name has been changed to protect identities. When you go through the menopause this will affect you, but this doesn’t mean you have to hand in your sex life at the nearest post office. But it does mean that you may need to change things up a bit. If you feel your sex-life has been impacted by the menopause, talk to your partner about how you’re feeling and how this is affecting you. Maybe you need more foreplay…I know, WHAT A SHAME! Maybe you need lube? Your vaginal walls thin after you go through the menopause, so you need to be a bit more careful with penetrative sex (or just stick to good old oral!) And don’t forget about those STI rates – make sure you’re protecting yourself. A couple of other tips: staying fit and active can help diminish the negative effects of menopause. And if you’re between sexual partners but want to be sexually active in the future it’s a good idea to keep the juices flowing with regular masturbation (oh, getting older sounds so tough!) Remember that whatever your age, you...yes, you reading this right now, are a fierce sexual being and you have a right to be appreciated – emotionally and sexually by the person(s) you love, regardless of your age, period or menopausal state! If you need more support or want to talk to anyone about the issues raised in my column feel free to email me at Connie.Lingus@LGF. org.uk - or ring our helpline that is 100% confidential, open 10am-10pm 365 days a year on 0845 3 30 30 30 Kisses for both lips, Connie Lingus xxx 11 www.lgf.org.uk OUTNORTHWEST 09 AGENDA APR-MAY 2014 TAKING PRIDE IN THEIR PRACTICE! Pride in Practice is a quality assurance support service provided by The Lesbian & Gay Foundation (The LGF) to GP practices to support improvements in health outcomes for their lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) patients, as well as strengthen their engagement with, and understanding of LGB people. Pride in Practice is a nationwide project, check out if your GP is registered on The LGF’s online directory: www.lgf.org.uk/lgbtdirectory Pride in Practice Manager Kathy McGuirk said: “Working towards a Pride in Practice award demonstrates a GP Practice’s commitment to delivering an equal quality of service. GP Practices dedicating their time and effort to ensure their services are inclusive of LGB patients is worth shouting about and celebrating! It can mean LGB people feel more comfortable about talking openly with their GP, which can only be a good thing!” Keep your eyes peeled! ...Every GP Practice in the whole of Manchester and Salford are now registered to Pride in Practice so there are plenty more awards to come! City Health Centre 3rd March 2014 The Dunstan Partnership 6th March Bowland Medical Practice 28th February 2014 Didsbury Medical Centre 14th January 2014 SHARE YOUR STORY! Do you identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual, if so then are you ‘out’ to your GP? Do you think it would be beneficial to you or your GP if you were ‘out’? If you’ve had a positive or negative experience with your GP/nurse related to your sexual orientation then we would really like to hear from you to help support the work we do with health professionals. Call 0845 3 30 30 30 and ask for Kathy or email: pip@lgf.org.uk Bodey Medical Centre 6th February 2014 10 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk Northern Moor Medical Practice 28th November 2013 Northenden Group Practice 11th March 2014 AGENDA APR-MAY 2014 HISTORICAL GAY CONVICTIONS & HOW THE LGF CAN HELP IDAHO 2014 The International Day Against Homophobia (IDAHO), held on May 17 every year, is a rallying event offering an opportunity for people to get together and reach out to one another. Every year The Lesbian & Gay Foundation organises and takes part in a number of events to mark IDAHO, and this year is no exception. We’ll be using the theme of Hate Crime this year, and you can expect a Hate Crime Vigil in Sackville Gardens, amongst other things. Events are still being planned as this final issue of ONW goes to print, so keep an eye on www.lgf.org.uk for all the latest information! In December last year, Alan Turing was granted a posthumous royal pardon for his criminal conviction of homosexual activity – but if you’re eligible for a past conviction to be removed then why wait? From an older person’s perspective and their moral standpoint, it’s important for the past to be addressed - if you’ve done nothing wrong or illegal then you’re entitled to have a clean criminal record. It’s an individual’s responsibility to apply and all they need to do is complete a simple form. In fact, it’s not even a complicated process. But The LGF can help give you the support you need to do this – from printing off the forms to assisting with the writing and posting of it. The LGF’s Advice & Support Manager Samantha Days recalls speaking to Jim* who was convicted under Section 11 of the Criminal Law Amendment Act 1885 when he was sat in a car with another man in a well-known cruising area. They weren’t doing anything but a policeman still cautioned them for their behaviour. Unfortunately, Jim didn’t realise that a ‘caution’ is a permanent offence, marking your criminal record. He found that every time he applied for a new job, his conviction would come up on his record check. This meant that many employment opportunities were lost over time. It took Jim over 30 years to get his conviction removed from his record and it made a huge impact on his life because now, he’s got both a job and a peace of mind. He felt it was definitely worth going through the process because in the end his application was successful. As well as supporting him with his application, The LGF also helped him access their counselling services. Solicitor Geraldine O’ Reilly from O’ Neill Patient Solicitors LLP said: “This is a very important piece of legislation aimed at ending discrimination but it has not been used in the way we would have expected. We’d encourage those who are eligible to come forward and apply to have these records of convictions, cautions, warnings or reprimands for consensual gay sex, deleted or disregarded.” You can access our pop-in service Monday – Friday, 10am-8pm (last session 7pm) and we also run a legal surgery, every second and fourth Tuesday, 6-8pm, no appointment necessary. For more information visit: www.lgf.org.uk/Your-rights/deletionof-historical-gay-convictions/ *names have been changed to protect identities. LET US HELP CLEAR YOUR NAME Did you know The LGF can support you to apply for your historical gay conviction to be removed? Please get in touch if you need our support. Convictions under the following provisions may be eligible to be disregarded: • Section 12 of the Sexual Offences Act 1956 • Section 13 of the Sexual Offences Act 1956 • Section 61 of the Offences against the Person Act 1861 • Section 11 of the Criminal Law Amendment Act 1885 www.lgf.org.uk OUTNORTHWEST 11 We want to dedicate this page to YOU, to the people who have used The Lesbian & Gay Foundation’s services and want to share their story with the community. This time, we hear from Peter and Aderonke. Peter, 55, is a regularly attendee of The LGF’s advice surgeries and coffee mornings in Rochdale. “I wasn’t aware of the service until I saw the advert in the local paper for the ‘Coming Out Day’ event last year, which is where I first met Adrian (LGB&T Community Development Worker for Heywood, Middleton and Rochdale). He made me feel comfortable talking about my sexuality, as well as other issues. I was advised about different services and I took away with me several resources so I could find out more. I’ve found it really easy to access The LGF’s services, both in Rochdale and Manchester, so I thought it would be a good way of meeting other LGB&T people in the borough and potentially finding a companion. “It’s really important this service exists, especially in Rochdale. There will be a lot more people like me who don’t know about The LGF and the services you offer. Having a community officer to promote services is important for the local LGB&T community who may need your help. I felt a lot more confident speaking to an organisation that represents me and my sexuality. I’ve been able to be more open and honest about myself and the support I need. I’m now looking forward to starting a computer course in Rochdale!” , PETER S STORY , Aderonke s Story If you would like to share your story with The LGF then please email Jen at: voices@lgf.org.uk Aderonke, 47, from Manchester, is a feminist and human rights activist who fled Nigeria 10 years ago because of persecution she suffered based on her sexuality and religion. She claimed asylum in the UK based on her sexuality and is still waiting to be granted leave to remain. You can sign her online petition here: www.causes.com/asylum-for-aderonke “I accessed The LGF’s Befriending service because I needed support after being a victim of hate crime and with entering the gay community. As a gay woman of colour, it was difficult to identify with my sexuality openly because being homosexual was seen as an ‘unhealthy value’ in Nigerian society while I was growing up. ‘Coming out’ has happened much later in my life and coming out to others has taken me over 20 years - I was tempted to keep quiet or pretend that I’m straight, but the trouble 12 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk is, I can’t hide my feelings forever. Furthermore, why should I have to? I have a right to be proud of who I am. It’s good to talk to like-minded people and it was really important for me to access an LGB specific service too, which is why I started coming to the LGF. I found the service really easy to access and everyone was there to help me, like my befriender and the whole of The LGF staff team. “The Befriending Service gave me more confidence, increased my sense of positive wellbeing and gave me much more knowledge about other services such as Stepping Stones, Carousel and even services outside of The LGF - such as social support groups and events for gay women. I’d recommend the service to anyone as it helped boost my self-esteem and confidence. It’s a great service, both well led and respectful. I’m now able to make choices, contribute equally and emotionally to a relationship, and see my partner as an equal to me – much unlike the chauvinistic, dictator-type relationships I knew in the past when I was in Nigeria.” DO YOU LIVE OR WORK IN: Bolton, Bury, Manchester, Oldham, Rochdale, Salford, Stockport, Tameside, Trafford or Wigan? • DO YOU HAVE HEALTH ISSUES THAT AFFECT YOU AS A LESBIAN, GAY OR BISEXUAL PERSON? • WOULD YOU LIKE TO ENCOURAGE HEALTH & SOCIAL CARE ORGANISATIONS TO BETTER REFLECT REAL PEOPLE’S NEEDS AND EXPERIENCES TO ENCOURAGE BETTER SERVICE PROVISION? • CAN YOU SUPPORT OTHER LGB PEOPLE? If the answer to any of these questions is YES, we want to hear from you. Find out how you can be an LGB Community Leader e-mail: communityleaders@lgf.org.uk UP YOUR WAY ! PRIDE SEASON GRAB YOUR DIARIES IT’S PRIDE! It’s never too early to get your Pride business sorted so here is a list of all (that we know of!) Pride events happening this summer across the North West. Always check official listings for latest updates. Photo:: Sarah Quinn BLACKPOOL PRIDE 14TH - 15TH JUNE Blackpool Pride has again received support from Blackpool Council and this year’s event will be held in the Winter Gardens on Saturday and Sunday. It will run in conjunction with the European Single Sex Dance Championships. This is the first time the European Championships have been held in the UK. Blackpool Pride are also holding a vehicle and walking parade. www.blackpoolpridefest.com CUMBRIA PRIDE 14TH JUNE Carlisle City Centre. Community and Social events for all the LGBT Community.info@ cumbriapride.com or www.cumbriapride.org LIVERPOOL PRIDE 2ND AUGUST Variety of different events, from the parade, to an art exhibition showing LGBT work. www.liverpoolpride.co.uk TAMESIDE PRIDE 28TH JUNE The first ever Tameside Pride takes place at Broadoak & Smallshaw Community Centre, Broadoak Road, Ashton under Lyne,OL6 8RS. Wristbands available £5.00 each. Latest info via Tameside & Oldham Gay Society: www.togs.org.uk MANCHESTER PRIDE FRINGE AUGUST Celebrating the full diversity of LGBT life through art, sport, culture and more. www.manchesterpride.com OLDHAM PRIDE 26TH JULY Oldham’s 10th Pride will take place on Saturday 26th July at Gallery Oldham with stalls between 12.30pm and 4.00pm. There is also a parade at 11.45am at Town Square outside the Spindles Shopping Centre. oldhamlgbtconsortium@outlook.com SALFORD PEEL PARK PINK PICNIC 27 JULY Peel Park on the Crescent. Stalls from different LGBT Groups, music and refreshments. Contact: info@peelparkpicnic. org.uk or www.peelparkpinkpicnic.org.uk available online, over the phone and from a number of venues in the Village until Saturday 31 May 2014. You can buy tickets using credit or debit card by calling 0843 208 1844. Official ticket outlets in The Village, where you can buy Tickets in person: Clone Zone, Taurus, G-A-Y, VIA, New York, New York, Thompson Arms. www.manchesterpride.com QUAKERS AT MANCHESTER PRIDE 15TH AUGUST Manchester Quakers are again holding a ceilidh for Manchester Pride. The Ceilidh will be held 7-10.30pm at Central Manchester Quaker Meeting House, Mount Street, Manchester on the 15th August. Stalls will be allocated on a first come first serve basis. To reserve your place email: quakermanchesterpride@hotmail.co.uk WARRINGTON PRIDE 27TH SEPTEMBER Queens Gardens, Warrington. Email: info@lgbtwarrington.co.uk or go to www.warringtonpride.com MANCHESTER PRIDE BIG WEEKEND 22 AUGUST TO 25 AUGUST Free Events: Manchester Pride Parade Saturday 23 August, George House Trust Candlelit Vigil - Monday 25 August. Big Weekend Spring Release Tickets are £18 CHESTER PRIDE 4TH OCTOBER Grosvenor Park followed by after parties in gay friendly venues. There will also be a colourful Chester Pride parade through the city centre. Contact: info@chesterpride.co.uk OR http://chesterpride.co.uk/ 14 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk PRESTON PRIDE 27TH SEPTEMBER In front of Harris Museum, in the centre of Preston. Live Music from different genres, rock, pop, disco, and delicious foods. www.prestonpride.com IN YOUR WORDS! THE NORTH WEST HOUSING GUIDE FOR THE OLDER LGBT COMMUNITY RAINBOW NOIR AN UPDATE ON GROUP ACTIVITIES SO FAR... Earlier this year one of Rainbow Noir’s The year so far has been filled with members was unjustly detained in Yarls Wood activity at Rainbow Noir and the Immigration Removal Centre, after much group wanted to share a little of campaigning the group received the news what the members have been up that Jacqueline had thankfully been released. The LGBT community came out in true force to… For International Women’s Day, Rainbow Noir met up with a truly inspirational woman and pillar in the BME LGBT community - Lady Phyll Opoku-Gyimah, co-founder and Trustee for UK Black Pride. Along with reflecting on how important it is to recognise and celebrate the work and lives of BME LBGT women, the group also got down to business and came up with plans for a BME LGBT Herstory event to take place in Manchester for Black History Month 2014! Back in February Christina from the organising group, delivered a brilliant piece of work at Runnymede’s debate on Valentine’s Day entitled Race and Sex, raising awareness and starting discussions about how race influences our ideas around beauty, sex and desire. The debate proved to be lively and educational, you can find out more at: www.runnymedetrust.org to campaign for Jacqueline’s freedom - with over 3000 signatures collected! Following the success of the petition the group wanted to raise reader’s attention to an ongoing campaign to shut down Yarls Wood. Many women across the UK, including members of Rainbow Noir, have been forced to endure abuse and ill-treatment at Yarls Wood. The community are fighting to expose the injustices women face inside the centre and to shut it down for good! To find out more and to sign the petition visit: www.refugeewomen.com/campaign Rainbow Noir is a social and support group that meet once a month at the LGBT Centre on Sidney St, for more info about the group email: rainbownoirmcr@gmail.com or visit facebook.com/rainbownoirmcr Manchester has the largest LGBT community outside London. Stonewall Housing - Manchester older LGBT Housing Group, Members of the Anchor Housing’s LGBT group, Tenant Participation Advisory Service and the Chartered Institute of Housing have produced a housing guide for the older LGBT community. If you are an older LGBT person in housing need or you know an older LGBT person in housing need, you can download a copy of the guide. Go to: www.stonewallhousing.org, or www.anchor.org.uk COMING SOON: POSITIVE RADIO! ‘Positive Radio’, a project hosted by George House Trust (GHT), will be the UK’s first internet radio station dedicated to providing incisive HIVrelated content. Not only will people living with HIV get the chance to create radio programmes, mentored by media professionals, but listeners around the world will get the chance to listen via the internet. The project is being entirely run by volunteers, led by GHT volunteer and trustee Paul Graham. The station will be internet radio and also available to listen to again via the GHT website. Positive Radio will start transmission in August/ September, dates to announced via GHT’s social media. www.ght.org.uk www.lgf.org.uk OUTNORTHWEST 15 VILLAGE PEOPLE N U F E H T ALL LOCAL BUSINESSES, CHARITIES AND THE COMMUNITY WORKING TOGETHER! ! R U F E H OF T The May Bank Holiday in Manchester sees the tradtional Invasion of the Bears to the city, as Manbears host this year’s Great British Bear Bash. Bears, cubs and admirers will be coming to Manchester from across the world to share one of the Bear calendar’s main events from 2nd - 5th May. There are events happening across Manchester, so we grabbed some time with the organisers and asked what the hairy ones can expect this year... The theme for this year’s event is Big Top – what have you got in store for attendees this year? As the theme suggests there are a number of ways it can be taken! The main theme for this year is circus so we wanted to bring the fun back into GBBB from the Fancy Dress Club Night on Friday through to when everyone heads home on Monday. Each of our three club nights will be offering different styles of music including Hi-NRG, House and Pop. We have got the usual events but this year there are two new additions to the programme. Firstly in Rem Bar on Thursday evening there is a special Beareoke and cabaret from Bear Explosion to start the weekend off in style. On Saturday morning there is the opportunity to go ice skating in Altrincham thanks to the staff at Silver Blades who have agreed an offer with us. As well as this there is the ever popular Pool Party and a market on Saturday afternoon for those who like a bit of retail therapy. For those who haven’t been to Bear Bash for the last couple of years, what would you say to coax them back? We unfortunately had a couple of years where due to the uncertainty of whether venues would be available right up to the last Roll-up! Roll-up! The Big Top is coming to Manchester for this year’s Great British Bear Bash... minute, the team were not able to provide the slick, fun events we had become known for. Thankfully, with the venues we are now using, and those we have booked for the next 2 events, we can once again throw ourselves into making GBBB the fun, social and totally over the (BIG) top it used to be once again so get your circus outfits ready! What are going to be the highlights at this year’s event for you? For me, and I say it every year, its seeing old friends returning and making lots of new ones. With regards to the event itself The Bears at The Birdcage always stands out – this year is no exception. With performances from Wolf ( a Manchester vocal group who were very popular on the Manbears Pride stage last year),comedian Gary Delaney – who was such a hit a couple of years ago and The 16 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk Queens Of Pop. We are particularly excited to be welcoming, making his Manchester debut, Tom Goss. Tom is huge on the American bear circuit and is embarking on a European tour so for us to be hosting him is fantastic. What’s next for the Manbears team? We have already started planning PreHiBEARnation and GBBB18 (yes we are that old so expect to party!) to the effect the clubs are booked for the next year and a half! We also, hopefully have the Manbears Presents stage at Manchester Pride which is always fun to put on. For the full programme, and to book your tickets for what promises to be the best Bear Bash yet, visit www.manbears-manchester.co.uk WE WANT YOU! Also taking place over the May Bank Holiday Weekend, is the charity fundraising event, Village People Weekend. Raising money for various charities - including The Lesbian & Gay Foundation - this promises to be a fun-packed weekend. Organisers are encouraging attendees to come dressed as their favourite ‘Village Person’. So why not get your friends together and start thinking what member you could be... Police Man; Sailor; Cowboy; Builder; Indian; Leather Man! ‘Luvyababes’ in Manchester’s Arndale centre have promised a 10% discount if you buy your outfits there! For more information, keep an eye on the Facebook page: www.facebook.com/Villagepeopleweekend/ ANGELS HERE TO HELP Your friendly Village Angels will of course be out and about in The Village every Friday and Saturday night! Our team of dedicated staff and volunteers will be out on the streets, laughing in the face of those minus temperatures and supporting our community at weekends. The Village Angels are there to keep people safe whilst visiting The Village. We are there for advice and support and are a completely non-judgmental presence, only interested in keeping people safe and happy whilst accessing this space we call home! So if you find yourself needing help, seek out an Angel and we will keep you smiling! Here if you need us! To find out more about The Village Angels visit us on www.lgf.org.uk/ Angels. Find us on twitter @LGF_Angels THAT TIME OF LIFE ANDREW EDWARDS on older LGB people. According to a Joseph Rowntree report by Sally Knocker in 2012 there are between 871,000 and 1.2 million over 55s who are LGB. It’s not something you’d realise if you look at the current crop of gay mags which are clearly not aimed at this group. It matters to me as I am approaching that time in my life and I don’t want to be invisible. To quote Dame Edna Everage I still have all my drives and my juices. I’m not quite ready for my bath chair mug of cocoa and carpet slippers just yet. Or as one the interviewees in the report put it I don’t want to fade away. So if we are an important demographic where are the magazines and media outlets specifcally for us? I think it’s about more than just the excellent services offered by Opening Doors in London and our own Greater Manchester group for older LGBTs Out in the City. I’d like not to be invisible when I walk down Canal St. I want it to matter that yes I care for my elderly Mum but who will care for me when I get nearer her age? In recent years there has been more talk among service providers about specific long term care for LGBTs but would I really want that? We recently covered prostate cancer on my Gaydio show the Sunday Forum and this is a huge issue which affects many thousands of gay and bi men in their 50s and beyond every year. But the coverage on mainstream media about this is absolutely pitiful. I don’t want to become just a moaning old character like one of the old gits in Harry Enfield. On the other hand I cannot deny that I want to wrap up warm when it’s cold and carry an umbrella as it has been known to rain in Manchester. Unlike perhaps some younger members of the community. It was brought home to me in sharp fashion during the budget this year with all its offers to those on a pension. For the first time ever I think I realised that I could be drawing down some of my miniscule pension pot in just a couple of years. And don’t even start me off on the trials and tribulations of the dating game at this time in my life. I think I just want us not to be sidelined. I want to be seen and heard and yes maybe grow older disgracefully which sounds like much more fun. I admit though I don’t do queues into bars or pubs any more and am more likely to be returning home after a meal or a cinema trip at the time when certain of my brethren are just venturing out. However I am happy to confirm that there is still life in this old dog and that it doesn’t take me all night to do what I used to do all night! www.gaydio.co.uk www.lgf.org.uk OUTNORTHWEST 17 TALKING POSITIVE WE INVITE GUEST COLUMNISTS TO TALK ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENCES OF LIVING WITH HIV AND MOST IMPORTANTLY TO TELL THEIR STORY, THEIR WAY. HIV-PHOBIA AND ME Michael is 58 and from Manchester. He was diagnosed HIV positive in the mid 1980’s but didn’t start on medication until three years ago. In 2011 he was admitted to hospital with serious breathing problems which turned out to be pneumonia. His CD4 count dropped drastically and his Viral Load was very high. “I am struggling with all my medication, and I truly cannot really explain why’’ Michael says. ‘’My reasoning is the feeling of being diagnosed all over again –starting from the beginning and the mix of HIV medication and other illnesses that I am having to cope with and even more medication to take hasn’t gone down very well. Psychologically I am finding it hard to ask for help. As I had no help in the beginning I thought I could handle the new issues, but I am struggling. My mental health has got worse from each day and also my lack of interest in sex. I am losing the will to carry on. This is difficult for me as I have always had the idea in my mind that I am going to die alone with no support. My ability to do normal things has lessened in my life, even as a gay man. I have been a strong believer that emotional support should be available, but the mental health support has not improved.’’ What could be done to help more people feel comfortable about declaring their HIV status? “This is a question that still remains very personal to the individual, but if everyone living with HIV declared their HIV status perhaps the issue may be better addressed publicly. I came out because I was told to communicate my status to past relationships by my consultant so they could be tested; this was very difficult but needed back in the eighties. It’s also important that campaigns are better at helping people come to terms with their status like other campaigns on equal rights – people living with HIV have rights too. This is just one example, as even in the LGBTQ community, discrimination of people with HIV does exist (HIV-phobia).I feel there is a lack of communication between men who have sex with men and the gay positive person relaying the truth of being positive. In some cases, and with the gay men I’ve spoken to over the years – I hear that ‘medications have improved so I’m not bothered’. Sounds cruel and untrue, but often there are some gay men that are looking to become HIV (bug chasers). There is still much to do, we all have a responsibility to re-educate the gay community. Apart from promoting condoms and testing what more should organisations do? ‘’More workshops, seminars and even an www.lgf.org.uk/men 18 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk odd conference which includes voluntary and statutory organisations coming together with guest speakers living with HIV, hearing personal experiences. I feel sometimes personal stories can be more effective at pulling the audience heartstrings. We should do more themed events focusing on awareness of HIV, for example HIV testing week and World AIDS day and at Manchester Pride’s HIV Vigil. Also specific training sessions about the proper use of condoms open to all LGBTQ communities.’’ What message would you say to your younger self about HIV? “Talk to partners more about safer sex and safer drug use. Have you got condoms with you – if you are going out looking for sex? ” Michaels’ Blog: http://micant1812.wordpress.com/ If you would like support on any of the issues raised here please contact The Lesbian & Gay Foundation’s Helpline on 0845 30 30 30 GAY & BISEXUAL MEN SAME DAY HIV TESTING EVERY WEDNESDAY 12.00PM - 2.00PM* AT THE LGF NUMBER 5 RICHMOND STREET MANCHESTER *BUT GET HERE EARLY, THE LAST TEST IS AT 1.30PM FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL US: (10AM-10PM) 0845 3 30 30 30 DO YOU KNOW YOUR HIV STATUS? Reg. Charity No. 1070904 www.lgf.org.uk/testing BEREAVEMENT d o o g e v a h l l i w u o “Y , s y a d d a b d n a , days s y a d d o o g e h t t bu will become more .” t n e u q e r f e r o m d an As part of this special issue of ONW devoted to older LGB people, we’ve been very lucky to chat with IAN DYER, who sadly lost his long-term civil partner Alan just before Christmas. With such a recent loss, the pain is still very real, but Ian was really keen to pass on his experiences and offer readers of outnorthwest some “tips” on how best to deal with the loss of a partner. Sadly, a loss like this can be experienced at any time of life, and Ian’s tips are relevant to both the young and the old. COPING WITH THE DEATH OF A PARTNER BY IAN DYER It can be difficult to think clearly when dealing with such a personal loss, and thinking of the ‘practicalities’ that need to be dealt with. It’ll take strength and support, but as you’ll see from Ian’s tips the key is to keep moving forward. And very importantly, allow the grief to show itself. Here, Ian tells his story and offers his tips on dealing with loss: First and foremost, make sure that a will has been left to ensure that you or your partners wishes are carried out. Also, discuss beforehand any wishes for the funeral service and whether it should be a burial or a cremation. Discuss the type of service you’d like – the readings, hymns, music etc. And if you’re able to, arrange to say a few words during the service about your partner. This may be difficult, but give it a go. “My civil partner Alan passed away on 18th December 2013. He was 68 years old. He hadn’t been in good health for some time – deep vein thrombosis, mobility issues, etc. He was due to go for tests for possible prostate cancer. He collapsed at home and was rushed to hospital. Despite several attempts at resuscitation, Alan sadly died. Immediately after the death of a partner, draw up a list of who to notify – family, friends, relations. Also and financial institutions like banks, insurance companies and DWP, etc. Perhaps consider asking people to donate to one our your partner’s favourite charities instead of flowers. I personally have set up a direct debit to serve as a practical way of remembering Alan. I want to pass on perhaps some useful tips in dealing with the death of a partner. When the funeral is over, take your time to dispose of your partners clothing and 20 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk Ian (middle right) and Alan (middle left) at their Civil Partnership ceremony. belongings. Do this in your own time and only do it when you feel ready. Charity shops will gladly take items that are in good condition. Be prepared for grieving. Both at the time, and for some time afterwards. There is no timescale for the grieving process, it’s a very personal experience. But please take it from me, it will get easier. You will experience various feelings – anger, pain, thinking that you could have done more. Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal to feel this way. Perhaps talk to people who can help. A GP, a counsellor, The LGF, friends, etc. I personally talked to my GP, and also to Charlotte who is the volunteer manager at The Lesbian & Gay Foundation. Both of these people certainly helped. Get plenty of rest. Don’t feel guilty about doing nothing at times. Go easy with the alcohol and drugs. Eat well, and get some exercise even if it’s just going for a walk. You might also find that watch television or listening to the radio helps to combat the silence. When it comes to special events during the year like anniversaries, birthdays or Christmas, be prepared for some sadness. My roughest time so far was Christmas, but I survived! Perhaps focus on something to help – volunteering, hobbies, or take up some studies. I myself am an LGF volunteer, and I am studying social sciences with the Open University. If you can, have a little break, a weekend away or a holiday. You might have to think carefully about places to visit especially about places you may have visited with your partner. “You will experience various feelings... anger, pain... but don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal to feel this way.” And what about future relationships? Above all, take your time and be prepared for a few disappointments. But hopefully you will strike lucky. You may want to discuss ongoing memories of your late partner with your new partner, but reassure them that you’re not comparing them to your late partner. To quote from one of the condolence cards I received: ‘You will have good days, and bad days, but the good days will become more and more frequent.’ Remember again that there will always be someone to talk to if you are feeling low at times. Good luck for the future.” If you have experienced the loss of a partner or loved one, there is help available. Please don’t deal with the pain alone. Call The LGF Helpline on 0845 3 30 30 30, and we’ll be happy to talk things through with you. www.lgf.org.uk OUTNORTHWEST 21 OUTSPOKEN WHO IS CL AIRE HARVEY? Claire was the captain of Great Britain’s sitting volleyball team at the London 2012 Paralympic Games and was the only out lesbian on Team GB. Sport has always been a big part of Claire’s life. Growing up she was an accomplished rugby player but, following an accident in 2008 which left her completely paralysed in one leg, without peripheral vision and with nerve function impairment, she took up sitting volleyball. Although she only took the sport up in 2009, she excelled at it and in just two years was selected for the national team. As well as being an elite athlete, Claire is also Assistant Director for the charity Youth Sport Trust. Claire was a member of the distinguished panel at this year’s Sugar & Spice festival at The LGF. She lives in Kent with her 2 kids and her dog. Sum yourself up in three words. Intuitive, eyebrows (!), lucky If we gave you £1million, what would you do with it? I would certainly go to the Caribbean whilst I thought about it. Then I would probably use half of it to build myself an eco-friendly, fully accessible house from scratch and then with the other half I would set up a charity. Do you have a favourite quote/ motto? First is “you don’t have to see the whole staircase just to take the first step” and the second is “when nothing is going right, try turning left” If you could change one thing about the world what would it be? It would certainly be to wave a magic wand and make people only feel good CLAIRE HARVEY about themselves and valued. Not only do I think it would bring an end to things like the tragedy of young LGBT people who kill themselves or people needing to self-harm, but also I think most discrimination, violence and trouble in the world is down to people to needing to overpower others to ease their own sense of vulnerability. That’s the philosophical answer… the cheeky one would be.. if they can send one man to the moon, why can’t they send them all?! (sorry men, love you really!) Which animal would you most like to be and why? Cookie, my 3 legged staffie. She is the most loved, spoilt and comfortable animal in the world! When I worked in the prison service, I was called “the pit bull”… say no more! If you were a superhero, what would be your super-power? I live life absolutely to the full, and balancing work, training and family can feel impossible at times. I also hate it when I’m asked to do something that is really worthwhile but I can’t fit it in. Therefore I would have my superpower to be to teleport…imagine how 22 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk much more I could do then. Where is your favourite place in the world? This is a hard one for me, as I have so many wonderful friends and memories from across the globe that I have many places that are dear to me. That said there are lots of places I haven’t been to yet, so maybe my heart has yet to be stolen. I really want to go to the Faroe Islands at the moment. Tell us a secret about yourself… I absolutely HAVE to wear odd socks. I even pair them odd out of the washing machine. At the Paralympics this was obviously an issue because we had a set kit to wear, and so when in GB kit I sew different colours into the bottom of my white match socks so that I could still have odd ones. The best thing about being a woman is... Being a woman is AWESOME because as a collective I think we have the perfect balance of power and strength against the freedom to be sensitive, passionate and emotional. Oh, and did I mention the ability to have multiple orgasms? OVER & OUT LGF Chief Executive, Paul Martin OBE, explains why we had to make the difficult decision to end ONW. outnorthwest magazine has gone through many incarnations during its fourteen years existence, but at its heart our goal has always been to inform, educate, and celebrate the lesbian, gay and bisexual communities here in the North West. I’d like to think that we have succeeded in that quest. The decision to close the magazine hasn’t been an easy one to make, but we know that the way people access and use information has changed dramatically since 2000, the year that outnorthwest was first published. Today, we are all accessing information instantly on our mobile phones, and online through a wide variety of communication channels. A bi-monthly, print magazine simply can’t compete in responding to, or delivering ‘immediate’ messages. The funding landscape has changed too, and we have a duty to make sure that we spend public money with due care and diligence. The LGF, like many organisations, is experiencing significant cuts to our funding and it’s important for a charity like The LGF to carefully target our communications to where we believe they will have the maximum impact. This is why we will continue to prioritise our focus on direct contact through projects such as community engagement, outreach, netreach and we will be seeking to develop more targeted digital communications for our community over the coming months. Of course, The LGF will continue to supply vital news and information to you as best as we can, and as often as our reduced resources will allow. Our website is updated daily, as are our Facebook page and Twitter feed. You can also sign up to our weekly e-bulletin, which contains all the information you would have found in outnorthwest and is delivered straight into your inbox every Tuesday. Sign-up today at www.lgf.org.uk We have had some real fun over the years and as you will see in other parts of this final issue there have been some memorable moments, and some even more memorable typos...who could forget ‘Judo Dench’ or ‘Nigel Martian Smith’ to name but two! Throughout that time outnorthwest has been edited by Grahame Robertson who has been with the magazine man and boy for all of its fourteen years. I would like to pay tribute to him for his incredibly loyal and inspirational service to his readers, without you Grahame outnorthwest would never have achieved a fraction of what it has done. For your service to your community we thank you deeply. We should also recognise that outnorthwest is going out on a high by recently winning the inaugural Co-Operative Respect Network’s ‘Loved by You’ Award as the 2013 Regional LGBT Publication of the Year. We feel justifiably proud to have delivered you this magazine for the last fourteen years, and I’d like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has contributed to outnorthwest the majority of whom have been volunteers, as well as to those who have helped promote, distribute, and stock it. Finally, to you our readers, thank you all very much. It has been an honour and a privilege. n i t r a M l u a P Paul Martin, OBE Chief Executive The Lesbian & Gay Foundation www.lgf.org.uk OUTNORTHWEST 23 GOODBYE ONW INSIDE OUT 2000 In April 2000, the LGF took the bold decision to launch a community magazine. Out In Greater Manchester combined health information with traditional magazine features such as interviews, reviews, vox pops and volunteer involvement in the production of the magazine. In its first year, 65,000 copies were distributed covering issues from sexual health to mental health. Many local celebrities were interviewed too, including Russell T Davies, Denise Black and Julie Hesmondhalgh. 2001 After a year of publication, issue seven of Out In Greater Manchester saw our community magazine grow in page count and distribution as we rebranded and relaunched the magazine in full colour and increased volunteer involvement. Out was instrumental in providing information about the syphilis epidemic in Manchester, as part of the Spreads Easily campaign, and reader feedback was overwhelmingly positive. Also this year we came runner-up in the Best Graphic Design category at the 2000 Charity and Not For Profit Organisation Publishing Awards in London. 2002 Further cementing our slight obsession with Big Brother - gay housemate Josh Rafter came to the office to share his experience of life in the Big Brother house, and to tell us about the launch of his LGB&T housing agency. This year also saw Out In Greater Manchester feature it’s first cover mounted free gift, in the shape of an expanding “bum sponge”. Don’t ask. The Commonwealth Games in Manchester saw the magazine feature a double cover launching the LGF’s flyposting campaign in the city. Later in the year we spoke to Paul O’Grady. We also published the official guide to Manchester Lesbian & Gay Mardi Gras. 2003 A year of huge and significant change to our community magazine saw the title change to outnorthwest, our distribution increase three fold and reach across the north west of England, and a page count increase ONW editor Grahame Robertson looks back on 14 years of the magazine. from 24 pages to 64. Content was also expanded to include lifestyle and culture sections, with regular columns from a large number of volunteers. The revamp was timed to coincide with EuroPride, and not only did we produce a 64 page magazine, but the team also turned around a 56 page EuroPride guide at the same time, too. Delivery of 15,000 copies of outnorthwest and 10,000 EuroPride guides took its toll on Unity House, with the floor collapsing under the weight of all these resources! 2004 In 2004 our news team began supplying LGB&T news from the North West to The Pink Paper. During the year, outnorthwest covered a huge range of issues, including 40 years of LGB&T campaigning, civil partnerships, mental health, older LGB&T people, and the return to television of another one of our (OK, Grahame’s) obsessions... Doctor Who! Our World AIDS Day issue highlighted the fact that over 3,000 people knew they were living with HIV in the North West; and potentially many, many more didn’t... 24 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk 2005 outnorthwest reaches a milestone this year, publishing it’s 50th edition and celebrated with a relaunch and redesign. Throughout the year, outnorthwest was also an important media sponsor for events such as Manchester Pride, queerupnorth, The Big Gay Read and Homotopia in Liverpool. Big name interviews this year included Antony Cotton, who told us, “I’ve never done an interview for Gay Times since I started this job (on Coronation Street). I’m astounded by that.” outnorthwest was proud to have Antony as our cover star for our 51st issue. Even if we did spell his name wrongly on the cover! Sorry Antony! 2006 The year started with an exclusive interview with entertainer John Barrowman who teased readers with the upcoming Doctor Who spin-off, Torchwood - and shared his experience of being gay in the entertainment industry. Our special World AIDS Day edition marked 25 years of HIV and looked back at a quarter of a century of HIV prevention campaigns. is now “the gayest show on television!” Interviews with Sophie & Sian, Antony Cotton, Phil Colinson and show creator Tony Warren only went to prove our point! 2011 also saw the magazine undertake its final redesign, with a bold new layout that we’ve stuck with until today! This year was also tinged with sadness as we spoke to Rogert Crouch about the terrible loss of his son Dominic. We were honoured to spend the day with Roger, who spoke with such deep love about his son. Sadly, only a few months later we were also to lose Roger. 2012 2007 Another unique feature in outnorthwest, saw us asking our readers if they would ever take a pill that would turn them straight. We received hundreds of responses, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, the huge majory (92% to be precise) of our readers said they wouldn’t. “Butch, skinhead, wife-beating pint drinkers?”, outnorthwest ended the year with a hard-hitting feature on lesbian stereotypes. “If we carry on using lesbian stereotypes in our own community, why should we expect straight people not to?”, noted one reader. 2008 We asked if lesbians and gay men really do get on, or if there was a War Of The Sexualities. The feature provoked one of the biggest reader responses in the magazine’s history. Manchester’s Director of Public Health, Sally Bradley also spoke to outnorthwest this year in a landmark interview. In it she made clear how serious the health of the LGB community was being taken and what steps were being taken to ensure vital health messages were being targeted to our communities. We ended the calendar year with a major interview with LGF patron Russell T Davies (read Russell’s messag to ONW readers overleaf!). This issue picked up more national publicity than any other issue of outnorthwest. 2009 June 2009 saw outnorthwest face the biggest challenge of its almost ten years of publication when the LGF was faced with the difficult reality of a decline in advertising opportunities. Rather than give up and call it a day, the magazine regrouped, refocussed and relaunched as a bi-monthly publication. The relaunch issue reunited the cast, crew and creators of Queer As Folk as we looked back on a phenomenon that in many ways defined queer life in Manchester. As the year progressed we also spoke to Manchester Pride’s Jackie Crozier, North West musical legend Holly Johnson, Christine Burns, and comedian Stephen K Amos. 2010 October see’s outnorthwest reach its landmark 100th issue. We also mark the launch of The LGF’s international antihomophobia campaign ‘Enough Is Enough’, highlgihting all the creative ways our readers have been promoting the campaign. Some of the team were also lucky enough to travel to London and meet LGF patron Sir Ian McKellen, who kindly lent his voice to the campaign video. 2011 outnorthwest starts the year with a visit to cobbles of Coronation Street, as we boldly state on our cover that the show outnorthwest starts the year with a reminder of the importance of HIV testing - a message we’ve firmly been behind throughout the last 14 years. We also spoke to writer Jonathan Harvey about the resurrection of his classic ‘Beautiful Thing’. Later in the year, as The Bingham Cup came to Manchester, we were again honoured to speak with the Alice Hoagland, mother of Mark Bingham, who died tragically during the events of 9/11. 2013 2013 and outnorthwest throws its weight behind The LGF’s equal marriage campaign. Due to the hard work and determination of our communities, we were all thrilled when the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill was passed unanimously. We’d never have thought back in 2000 when we started the magazine that such a landmark on the road to equalty would be reached. A real highlight of 2013 was speaking to Amal Fashanu who spoke with passion about the death of her uncle Justin Fashanu and her campaign to rid the terraces of homophobia. 2014 So here we are in 2014, and outnorthwest celebrates winning The Co-op Repect Loved By You Award for Best Regional LGBT Magazine. For us, it was a real validation of everything we’ve tried to do with the magazine. And the fact that it was voted for by the community made the award all the more sweeter. They always say you should go out on a high! So, 14 years and 121 issues later, ONW is no more. It’s been an honour to bring you this magazine, and I speak on behalf of everyone who has helped produce ONW when I say we’ll miss you. Thank you for picking us up! www.lgf.org.uk OUTNORTHWEST 25 GOODBYE ONW TV supremo, and LGF Patron Russell T Davies has been a supporter of ONW since Issue 1. He was the first person we ever interviewed. We asked Russell to round off 14 years and 121 issues with a special message for our readers... “I’m very sad to hear that this is the last issue of outnorthwest. I’ll miss it! Maybe it’s more of an online world now, but let me tell you young ‘uns, in days gone by, magazines like this were all we had. A helping hand. A light in the dark. A valuable resource. The only place you could get the vital information you needed, sometimes, these pages could actually be lifesavers. And most of all, it was a great big laugh! A MESSAGE FROM RUSSELL T DAVIES TO THE READERS OF OUTNORTHWEST 26 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk I’d like to say thanks to Grahame and his dedicated teams over the years, who’ve put so much love and imagination into these pages. Job well done, boys and girls! And happy memories indeed. Now go and get some rest, you deserve it.” WOMEN It seems like a lot is written about ‘visibility’. We often hear that certain groups of people are invisible in society or in public life or in the media: LGB people, women, those aged over 50… Edie Alice But some of the women we look up to the most, some of the public figures who have inspired and continue to inspire us, are older lesbian or bisexual women. These are the women we look at and think ‘I want to be like her…’ So for this issue of OutNorthWest, in which we’re celebrating older LGB people, we wanted to celebrate just a few of these amazing women. SANDI TOKSVIG Although she is now routinely described as a ‘national treasure’, public appreciation wasn’t always so forthcoming for writer, comedian, TV and radio presenter Sandi Toksvig. When she came out as lesbian in the early 1990s, and revealed that she was co-parenting three children born through artificial insemination to her then-partner Peta Stewart, she was dropped as compere for the Save The Children charity’s gala event, causing controversy and a media storm. Writing about growing up with no gay role models, Sandi said: “I believe secrets are a cancer of the soul and prefer to live out and proud with my head held high. However, in order to do so, everyone, whatever the path they walk in life, needs inspirational figures.” We’re so pleased that Sandi herself is now one of those role models. ALICE WALKER Alice Walker is perhaps best known for her best-selling novel ‘The Color Purple’, which featured a touching love affair between two women and was subsequently made into film starring Whoopi Goldberg and Oprah Winfrey, Sandi but she has also published many other novels, poetry collections, short stories and non-fiction. As well as being a renowned author, Walker has been an activist all her adult life, speaking out repeatedly on human rights issues. In the poem Be Nobody’s Darling, Walker wrote: “Be an outcast./Take the contradictions/ Of your life/And wrap around/You like a shawl,/To parry stones/To keep you warm.” EDIE WINDSOR Whilst Edie Windsor didn’t quite singlehandedly achieve marriage equality in the USA, she wasn’t far off. The octogenarian met her partner Thea Spyer in the 1960s and the couple built a life together for over forty years, finally getting legally married in Canada in 2007. After Thea’s death in 2009, Edie was not only devastated by the loss of her life partner but also shocked to learn that, because their marriage was not recognised by US federal law, she would have to pay $363,000 inheritance tax on their shared assets. Edie decided to fight this inequality and took her case all the way to the US Supreme Court, who ruled last year that hers and Thea’s marriage (and by extension the legal marriages of thousands of other same-sex couples) should be recognised under US Federal Law. Talking about her decision to challenge the law, Edie said, “We didn’t expect marriage, even 10 years ago, and I never expected I’d be looking at a piece of paper that said ‘Windsor versus the United States of America.’ We spend our lives coming out, in different circumstances. We’re never all out, somehow. It takes a lot of guts to stand up and let people know - people you’ve lied to much of your life - that not only are you a lesbian, but you’re a lesbian fighting the United States of America.” www.lgf.org.uk OUTNORTHWEST 27 OLDER LGB PEOPLE OUT IN THE CITY! OLDER AND OUT! First of all a big thank you to Grahame for letting me take over t this special edition of outnorthwes T LGB r olde the on ses which focu population. Recent studies show that there are xual about one million lesbian, gay, bise the over and transgender people age of 55 in the UK, and yet visibility is still an issue. Many older LGBT d people, some of who were subjecte s 1960 the in apy’ ther ion to ‘convers and 70s, are still afraid to be ‘out’ for fear of prejudice. In 2004 Age Concern Manchester, seeing the need to raise Out visibility and awareness, set up the al soci the t mee in The City group to a needs of over 50s LGBT by providing d coul ple peo ded min like re space whe the in Out on s year ten rly meet. Nea City has grown and strengthened and p now consists of a richly diverse grou of bers mem of around 40 people. The Out in the City have a positive outlook on life and are always keen to involve themselves in projects and events. The group takes part in the Pride parade every year and enjoy the build in up and preparation that takes place the preceding weeks. Sue THE CIT Y write for ONW Peter and Sheila from OUT IN activities... about the groups “HOW OFTEN DO WE HEAR THE PHRASE “USE IT OR LOSE IT”? As we grow older we realise only too it is well that - cliche though it may be y enjo we ren child As true. dly undoubte tive crea and on inati imag our using t impulses freely and naturally but as adul sure pres s, life takes over, with all its stres can and sheer hard work, these faculties In n. dow d pene dam too easily become and this e gnis reco we “Out in the City” , as retirement provides us with the time to s nitie ortu opp y man us s give p the grou s. selve rediscover our critical and creative a up set During the last few years we have ked wor have Reading Group and members cts with all the local Art Galleries on proje often and ng ulati which have been stim resulting in a display in the Gallery. We have published a book of our memories ct and recollections and the latest proje ry Histo les Peop the at ance orm perf a was a of trial Museum which looked at the We group of homosexual men in 1936. too, ents mom al have our purely recreation itely defin is It” Lose or it of course, but “Use into h marc we as er bann our the slogan on City The In Out – r Pete .” the Third Age “MANCHESTER IS RENOWNED FOR BS IN THE VARIETY OF BARS AND CLU ER OLD E THE GAY VILLAGE BUT SOM Y AWA SE IALI PEOPLE PREFER TO SOC ’. FROM THE ‘SCENE and Some older gay, lesbian, bisexual seen be to tant reluc are trans people icly in gay bars as they may not be publ out only or , ality sexu their ut out abo ral to a few people. For others the gene not s doe atmosphere of gay venues appeal. For those who prefer a more relaxed atmosphere there is an alternative, In right in the centre of Manchester. Out p grou ort supp and al soci a is City The for older gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people . They hold an pm informal drop-in every Wednesday,1 nt Mou se, Hou tish til 4pm, at London Scot l.) Hote land Mid the Street, ( opposite play Some people paint or draw, others y man in join and sit t mos on the Wii, lively conversations and plan future n activities. Tea and coffee (and ofte .” lable homemade cakes!) are avai Sheila Carson - Out In The City ing-well/out-in-the-city.html http://silverservice.org.uk/age 28 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk Archive images of The Rembrandt and New York New York courtesy of Manchester Libraries SUE NZILANI from Out In The City writes for ONW Q&A We asked some older LGB people what the best thing about being older is... BLOOMERS MARTIN WELLS What’s the best thing about getting older? I’ve got loads of useful experiences and wisdom I can use to do many more things, with passion and without fear. What one thing would you tell your younger self? Develop the skill and practice of being mindful – do not regret growing older; it’s a privilege denied to many! What one thing would you like to see changed for older LGB&T people? Wake-up don’t think you’re old its (almost) all going on in your head! PETER - OUT IN THE CITY What’s the best thing about getting older? You develop more knowledge or become more wiser as you get older. What one thing would you tell your younger self? Don’t start smoking, it burns a hole in your pocket. What one thing would you like to see changed for older LGB&T people? The stigma attached to older people, you have an age tag on you which is wrong. ROSIE ADAMSON-CLARK What’s the best thing about getting older? not worrying about what others think too much and having to follow the mass, plus the freedoms that come with age and experience... it’s all good really! What one thing would you tell your younger self? Enjoy it all, be who you want to be, love who you want to love, know you are wonderful, life is a gift. What one thing would you like to see changed for older LGB&T people? I think that once a person has reached 45...they seem to slip off the radar, and are often not considered important, unique, sexual/sexy or special. I wish the whole of society, fashion, health social care, was not so youth focussed. There has to be a place in society for the older, wiser, men and women to contribute, we all have gifts, let’s celebrate the vintage and previous in everything! Ending Homophobia, Empowering People www.lgf.org.uk Registered Charity No.1070904 e You can find out more about th y services that The Lesbian & Ga ople Foundation offers older LGB pe , or by calling us on 0845 3 30 30 30 visiting our website at www.lgf.org.uk Now that the days and nights are getting brighter, it’s time to get out and socialise more, and our older womens’ group may be just the thing for you… The group is held every 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month, from 1pm to 3pm, in the LGF’s comfy group room, and although we call it an ‘older womens’’ group, we welcome all women who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or questioning. The group has been going almost a year now, and we have welcomed a lot of women of all ages and backgrounds. A strong focus for the group is friendship and laughter, and no matter who is there, we always end up laughing and sharing our experiences, and the group is really welcoming for people who are unsure or nervous about coming along. We have had workshops around positive thinking in the past, as well as discussions about ageing, and the barriers older people can often face. Most sessions are really informal, but on occasion we may have a specific speaker in, or activity to do. We also are really keen on asking group members what they want to do, and are always looking for ideas. Maybe you have a skill you would like to teach the group? Or have seen a good film that we could watch? Maybe you’re an expert on IT and want to pass on your skills to others? The group is facilitated by volunteer Sara, and Kate, the Wellbeing Officer, and both will answer your queries and questions, they will also supply you with copious amounts of tea and biscuits, which is of course, a priority! It’s also a really good group to get information about what other events are out there for lesbian, gay and bisexual women. There’s no need to book either, you can just turn up, tell the reception you are hear for ‘Bloomers’, and get the lift (or the stairs if you don’t like lifts!) up to the group room. For more information, please contact kate.hardy@lgf.org.uk or phone 0845 3 30 30 30 www.lgf.org.uk OUTNORTHWEST 29 WELLBEING THANK YOU FOR BEING By Kate Jopling We all feel lonely sometimes. It’s that aching feeling we get when we need human contact. It’s an entirely subjective experience: I can’t know how lonely you are, and you can’t tell if I’m lonely, unless I tell you. But whilst it may be a personal experience, it undoubtedly needs a collective and community wide response, because as the evidence increasingly shows us, loneliness can be a serious risk to our health. The Campaign to End Loneliness works to highlight the health impacts that loneliness can have, to persuade people to take it seriously, and to improve the services on offer to help support lonely people. We know that feeling lonely is linked to a wide number of physical and mental health issues, including depression, cognitive decline, early onset dementia and cardiovascular disease. In fact, studies have shown that loneliness has twice the effect on your chance of an early death as obesity. The effect of loneliness and isolation on mortality has been equated to that of smoking 15 cigarettes a day. There are many risk factors that can increase a person’s chances of feeling lonely. The biggest is age. We are most LONELINESS A HIDDEN HEALTH RISK likely to be lonely in our late teens and early twenties and in our later life - 10 per cent of those over the age of 65 say they feel lonely often or all of the time. There is also evidence to suggest that lesbian, gay and bisexual adults are more likely than heterosexual people to experience loneliness. A 2012 Stonewall study found older LGB adults are more likely to live on their own, not have a partner, and have less contact with family and smaller social networks. The picture sounds bleak, but there is a great deal we can do to mitigate loneliness and support those at risk. We need to encourage people to plan not only for their 30 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk financial retirement, but also their social networks in later life. We also need to be sensitive to how people can become lonely and put support systems in place to help people maintain meaningful relationships and initiate new ones as we age. The Campaign to End Loneliness is a national organisation working through a network of national, regional and local organisations and individuals to tackle loneliness by supporting the development of improved services and support for older people. Find out more and become a supporter at www. campaigntoendloneliness.org LGF GROUPS Ending Homophobia, Empowering People www.lgf.org.uk Registered Charity No.1070904 Continuing our look at the support groups offered by The LGF. For the Older Peoples’ Edition of Out Northwest, we posed a number of questions to the members of our Older & Bolder group about the advantages and disadvantages of growing older… What’s the best thing about growing older? • “Growing older and wider to me is less stress” • “You learn from past mistakes” • “The best thing about growing older is that you have seen and done most things in life so you tend to be less stressful and less opinionated. Life is more wholesome and slower, not in a sad way but in a balanced way. I don’t seem to feel as offended or shocked at anything life is more balanced and truly has a quality about it which I never experienced when I was younger. Little things like going to the coast on a sunny day or going to the local gay pub seem to excite me in the same way that going abroad did when I was much younger. Staying in on a winters night reading a book definitely now appeals, but five-ten years ago I would have been “out’. I look more for the beauty in life and not the ugly.” What becomes more difficult with age? • “Meeting Mr Right!” • “Physical Health and continuing to live independently in our own homes” • “Lack of services which enable older people to access support” What one thing would you say to someone thinking about coming to Older & Bolder? • “It’s a chance to meet people who are gay, and a chance to share your ideas, experiences and worries.” • “I would suggest for definite that anyone comes to Older and Bolder as the space is so friendly and the staff are very approachable. It is a great space to meet new friends and also to learn about what is happening in the gay world. The topics that are covered are also beneficial, you can learn about all sorts of things from how to ice a cup cake to how to create a green space. It’s a great place to relax, and meet people of the same age.” Older & Bolder group is held on the 2nd and the 4th Thursday of the month, 7.30pm to 9pm. No need to book. For information on what is going on in the group, please go to www.lgf.org.uk/whats-on/ www.lgf.org.uk OUTNORTHWEST 31 GAY MEN’S HEALTH THE GREAT SEX DEBATE So, what makes good sex? We posed this question to guys online and ventured out into Manchester’s Gay Village to ask it too and this is what the guys we asked told us: With a nice, decent person • Right partner • Reciprocation • Mutual attraction • Passion • With a person you’re in love with • With your partner • Good connection • Consensual • Being versatile • Returning the favour • Being fucked • Foreplay • Oral and playing • Cuddles • Physical intimacy • Honesty • Rimming & bareback • A good kiss • Oral sex • Snowballing • Safe sex • Massages • Big penis Photos: Ian Wallis www.ianwallisphotography.co.uk That’s quite a range of answers and shows the real variety of what guys think makes sex good. Armed with the answers we hot footed it to ‘The Great Sex Debate’ at The LGF where they were hosting this event for The Manchester Condom Partnership. We’d invited gay and bisexual men from far and wide to join us in a mass debate about sex and all things sexual health and we even had a finger buffet! We had a panel of experts on the night including; Pete Smith(Senior Manager Health and Wellbeing - Manchester Public Health Development Service), who chaired the debate; Rob Cookson (Director of Business Development and Sexual Health Strategic Lead – The Lesbian & Gay Foundation); Dr Adam Bourne (Lecturer - Sigma Research); Dr Matt Phillips (SpR GU Medicine Manchester Centre for Sexual Health); and Jakeb Braden (Life Coach and ONW Columnist on gay men’s issues). The panellists were asked to prepare answers to a number of questions ahead of the event to stimulate discussion: • What makes great sex for gay and bisexual men? • What stops great sex from happening? • What makes a great sexual health message? STACEY ADAMS reports back from The LGF’s Great Sex Debate, which asked “What makes great sex?” • • Do scare tactics work in sexual health campaigns? What do we need to do to enable MSM to have the sex they want safely? As you can imagine we had a lot to discuss and the questions generated some really interesting feedback. So, what did men say in response to these questions? Well, are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin. We discussed that ‘sex’ means very different things to people, some people might define sex as penetration (anal or oral) and some people define it as everything from kissing and foreplay through to orgasm (with or without penetration). With this array of definitions we discussed the importance of intimacy and communication and, shock horror, relationships! Some of the men felt that gay and bisexual men are rarely portrayed as being in loving relationships and that more work needs to be done to address the wondrous diversity of gay and bisexual men, one size certainly does not fit all! We talked about how drugs and alcohol 32 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk can stop great sex from happening but also how for some men they may be seen as necessary to increase pleasure or give them the courage that they feel they haven’t got without. We talked about the need for more open and honest discussions about sex and sexual health and the need for compulsory sex and relationships education in schools. We discussed that great sexual health messages need to be fun and cheeky and not doom and gloom, that scare tactics don’t work and that for men to be empowered to have great sex they need to have confidence. All in all it was a fantastic event and I don’t have the space here to detail all of what was discussed on the night, I just wanted to tantalise you with a tasty titbit! If you have any thoughts on the questions asked that you’d like to share then email us at: men@lgf. org.uk for information about sex and sexual health visit our website: www.lgf.org.uk/ men or you can call our helpline on: 0845 3 30 30 30 FIND OUT WHERE YOU CAN GET TESTED BY VISITING www.lgf.org.uk/testing OPINION JAKEB ARTURIO BRADEN OLDER & SHIGELLA BOLDER Shigella! And no we’re not talking about the famous chef we all know and love. We’re talking about a bacterial infection that is caused by the bacteria found in poo. It can be very easily spread as all it takes if for a tiny amount of the bacteria to get into your mouth. GASP! So why are we telling you about this? Because Gay and Bisexual men are most at risk of Shigella through sexual activities such as rimming, licking the area which could have the bacteria on it such as the bum, groin area or even the penis. What should you do if you suspect you may have Shigella? Simple! If you are showing symptoms you should go to your doctor or your local GUM as soon as possible. A list of clinics in Greater Manchester can be found here: www.lgf.org.uk/testing You should explain your symptoms and tell the health care professional who is treating you that you might have got it from sex. This is important so that they can run the right tests and suggest the right treatment path for you. There are ways you can minimise the risk of you coming into contact with Shigella; Love Anal? Wear condoms – this is the best way of reducing your risk not only against Shigella but against all STI’s. • • ARE YOU TOPPING? Wash your penis with warm soapy water before and after, be mindful when washing the corona (the head of your penis) as that’s where most bacteria accumulate. And don’t forget to dab dry with a clean towel after washing. BOTTOMING? Be sure to have a bath/shower beforehand as a good way of eliminating any odours and keeping your bum nice and clean! Prefer to douche? Be careful not to use hot water or to over douche as this can damage the lining in your arse which increases the likelihood of HIV transmission. Well being 45 in a few short weeks, I can’t help but wonder at my own journey as a gay man, my own involvement with Equality and Gay Men’s work, I feel proud to have been involved with some great projects and organisations supporting gay men not just equality wise but also with resects to HIV and Sexual health as well. However I joined the ranks relatively later in the 1990s. Coming out as gay in the 1960’s, 1970s, 1980s and 1990s was no easy prospect. Levels of homophobia and discrimination were so much higher at that time (remember there were NO LAWS offering protection). We perhaps need to remember as well the contribution that these men have made to our lives, the ones who were are gay at time when society deemed it to be wrong the ones who first stood up and marched when the police were very hostile to gay community. I can remember even in the early nineties the police at Gay Pride Marches were far from happy to be there and the institutional homophobia that was present in the police force at the time was more than obvious. These were the men that fought for gay rights and fought for better HIV treatments. It was Gay men that got off their arses and did something about HIV and AIDS the Terrence Higgins Trust was created by a group of gay men (friend of Terry, who was the first “Official gay men to die of an AIDS related illness.) Even though the Tory Government at the time was deeply homophobic looked to gay men to lead the way in HIV prevention, and they did despite growing public fear over HIV and Gay Men being vilified as a result. Why am I saying this well I feel that as a Gay and Bisexual male community that perhaps we need to reflect on that, at a time now when we have achieved almost full equality, yes there are still some issues outstanding and homophobia is still present in our society “Lets not write each other off because of our age too soon. Remember that we all have a story to tell and our own journeys.” we owe a huge amount of gratitude to our gay and bi brothers who were at the leading edge of this. So lets not write each other off because of our age too soon. Remember that we all have a story to tell and our own journeys. With ONW coming to an end, you can still catch me online. You can find me here: www.twitter.com/authenticgayblg www.youtube.com/user/NorthernFella www.theauthenticgayblog.wordpress.com/ Thanks! Jakeb www.lgf.org.uk OUTNORTHWEST 33 WELLBEING G N I L E E F E H T T A HE THANK YOU FOR BEING There’s been a lot of talk in the press recently about the value of men’s saunas and whether they still have a relevant place in today’s society. When I say men’s saunas, I’m talking about a member’s club which guys can go to if they are looking for sex with other men… just to make that clear! Martin Cooper reports. There have been calls recently from some high profile players in the UK gay scene to close down these establishments, claiming they are unsanitary and give the gay and bisexual men’s community a bad name. Some recent individual cases have only helped to stoke the fires and many people have consequently supported these calls, as they feel there is no need for them to still operate in a society where same sex relationships are easier to find than ever with gay venues, societies and online apps becoming more and more prevalent. I decided it was a good opportunity to take time to visit one of the Manchester saunas and chat to some of the guys who were there to get the other side of the story. I was lucky to chat to two lads, both in their 20’s, who had never been to a sauna 34 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk before and they were really surprised by what they found. “It’s actually really nicely decorated and it’s just like you’d imagine a spa to be”. But what was their preconception? What were they expecting? “I’m not sure really. I guess I just thought it would be lots of people taking drugs, or full of people who couldn’t get laid who were desperate for sex! I just thought it would be much seedier than this.” I found it quite interesting how their perceptions had dramatically changed since entering the establishment. It has to be said that they weren’t there for sex and they were using one of the LGF’s Outreach Clinics, but nevertheless their preconceptions had been challenged and their opinions on saunas, their users and their role in the modern gay society had been changed. I guess what I’m saying is, unless we’ve WELLBEING Scan the QR code with your phone to watch our LGF Quickie video on staying safe in saunas! experienced something first hand I’m not sure if there is a strong case to call for its dismissal, as long as it’s consensual and legal. In my experience the saunas take the duty they have to their service users very seriously, and while homophobia and stigma still exists in our society, there will always be a need for public sex environments and ‘gentlemen’s clubs’ for people to achieve their sexual needs. I think it’s better that this is done in an atmosphere which is secure and safe with access to information on sexual health and condoms than in a potentially risky area outdoors… but aren’t they a hotbed for STIs and HIV transmissions I hear some of you cry? It’s impossible for a building to have HIV. The people who use the services there may be putting themselves at more potential risk, but if they are educated on the benefits of condom use and know they can access them for free while they are there, they have opportunity to stay as safe as they possibly can. Our role, in my eyes, should be to support the great work that the saunas do in offering a service which is clearly desired by their audience. We should work closely in providing good sexual health advice to their members and take advantage of opportunities to provide interventions, testing and resource distribution. Simply closing them down would only create more problems for a community of men who rely on saunas to achieve their sexual goals. Ending Homophobia, Empowering People www.lgf.org.uk Registered Charity No.1070904 This may be the final issue of outnorthwest, but you can still get all the sexual health information you need from our website, every single day. Visit www.lgf.org. uk/men And don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel to catch up with our monthly Quickie videos! Just search for ‘LGF Online’ 23 www.lgf.org.uk OUTNORTHWEST 35 GIVING SOMETHING BACK ! D E V L O V N I GET Ending Homophobia, Empowering People www.lgf.org.uk Registered Charity No.1070904 PLEASE SAY “I DO!” It’s nearly ‘Wedding Season’ and here at The LGF we’re all getting excited and waiting for the wedding invitations to start dropping through the door – don’t let us down! Debbie BE THE SOLUTION! Coming to the end of our Financial Year means that as an organisation we have to take a careful look at what services will be re-funded next year and what, if anything, will have to be reduced or worst case scenario stopped all together. It’s a horrid thought that an LGB person relying on one of our life saving / life changing services may not be able to access this service next year due to funding cuts but one, we unfortunately, have to take very seriously. work So what’s the solution? We want to more and hier healt r, safe a te crea to with you with g Alon le. peop LGB all for d worl l equa lar the knowledge that your one off or regu the to rence diffe real a donation is making ting in lives of LGB people you’ll also be inves vital be will our work to develop services that r. to us all as we grow olde ices save Our befriending and counselling serv re we lives, it’s that simple, we want to ensu yone ever for there can expand on this and be e. futur the in and now who needs our help, d What’s our dream? Our dream is a worl , past the of where homophobia is a thing ual Bisex and Man Gay ian, where every Lesb t wan they life the live to free person is Hate without fear of being the victim of a ity, mun com LGB Crime. We empower the lity. equa oting prom and ls supporting individua to e com to s year in here be to t We wan . Please continue to assist LGB people in crisis m…… help us achieve our drea our Giving even a small amount through means Regular Donor Scheme each month need. we can reach out to more people in 32 OUTNORTHWEST Support the work of the LGF. Donate online today at www.lgf.org.uk 36 “Along with the knowledge that your one off or regular donation is making a real difference to the lives of LGB people you’ll also be investing in our work to develop services that will be vital to us all as we grow older.” only Don’t forget for a limited time me Sche or each new Regular Don month member will receive a special 6 our of tesy cour Card et Stre al VIP Can friends at www.canal-st.co.uk/vip card y Visit www.lgf.org.uk/donate toda of to find out ways you could be part bie. deb at me the solution or email details. edwards@lgf.org.uk for further MISSING US ALREADY? ONW may have come to an end, but you can still keep up-to-date with all the news and features you’d find in ONW by signing up to the weekly LGF e-bulletin. Delivered fresh to your inbox every Tuesday, visit our website now to subscribe! www.lgf.org.uk/register Ending Homophobia, Empowering People www.lgf.org.uk AFTER 14 YEARS AND 121 ISSUES... Registered Charity No.1070904 THANK YOU! KEEP AN EYE ON WWW.LGF.ORG.UK