free magazine issue 6 3d printing sex etiquette difficult flatmates

FREE MAGAZINE ISSUE 6
3D PRINTING
SEX ETIQUETTE
GENDER DIVERSITY
DIFFICULT FLATMATES
ASK GURU RETURNS
EDITORIAL
02
Letters to the editor
03
Editorial
LOCAL NEWS
04
In short
06
Events feed
07
Wellington local
10
Manawatu local
12
Auckland local
FEATURES
14
3D printers: The past the now and
the future
18
Sussing sticky sexual situations
22
How to conquer the second-hand
market
26
Photo feature: Tam Kogler
31
REVIEWS
COLUMNS
36
Local Travel: Waipukurau
38
Representative Chic
40
Food Blog: Charlotte Royale Cake
and Basic Bruschetta
42
Uni Mum
44
Ask Guru
46
Expressive Arts
47
FRIENDS QUIZ
48
CONTACT US
2
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
DEAR EDITOR,
HOWDY THERE!
As a student returning to campus after
an extramural semester, one of the small
delights I’d forgotten about was the Massive
Magazine. Grabbing one on the way out
of the gym as a dual purpose oh-shit-it’sraining-I-should-have-brought-an-umbrella
paper-saviour and bus-stop reading material,
I started a familiar journey into the pages of
student flavoured relevance.
But low and behold, the letters to the
editor section was brimming with the salty
flavour of SJW bullshit buzzwords, fresh from
a gender studies lecture.
And as a likely result, the Guru section
I’ve come to know and love, and the column
penned by, I think it was Dick Hardy
(or something similar) were both absent,
seemingly shouted down by the Tumblr
thought-police.
What gives? The might not be sections
catered to everyone’s tastes, but just because
I don’t dig the art section I don’t bitch about
it; I turn the page.
Offence is never given, only taken, and it
seems like they’ve taken it pretty far. As Steve
Hughes said: “What happens if you say that
and someone gets offended? Well, they can be
offended. What’s wrong with being offended?
When did sticks and stones may break my
bones stop being relevant? Now we have
adults going “I was offended! I was offended,
and I have rights!” So what? Be offended,
nothing happens.
Will Guru and DH be returning at some
point, or are they retired to a barstool
somewhere to spin yarns where the ethereal
toaster-kin allies won’t go for fear of being
eye-raped?
Yours politically incorrectly, some macroaggressive oppressive shitlord
DEAR EDITOR,
DEAR EDITOR,
I found the article, written by Carwyn
Walsh about flatter’s rights, to be really
informative at a crucial time for me. To put
in simply, I live in a bit of a shithole. It’s
cold, has leaks, and a draft comes through
like it was invited. A whole lot of stuff was
broken, and the landlords were useless. Along
with my flatmates, we were sick of them not
responding, and putting off fixing the blatant
problems. We had a dilemma though, we
really did not want to be evicted, especially
in the middle of this crispy season. One of
my flatmates read the article and told us
all about some potential solutions. We had
never thought about actually approaching the
owners of the property, so we did, and it was
a great success. Our flat is slowly but surely
being fixed! Hallelujah!
I am writing to you today on behalf
of the members of the Minority Letters
Association. When reading your latest issue,
our key members, Wayne, Xander, and
Yvette were horrified to notice the offensively
low use of the letter W. I feel you gave other
minority letters adequate exposure, but when
it came to W, your ignorance appalled me.
I am aware that W is only worth four
points in Scrabble, but please remember that
four points becomes 12 when you get a triple
word score. You need to take the power of
the collective into account, please do not just
treat this as an individual case.
I am not only concerned about your minor
use of the letter W. When it is used, for
example on page 12 of your latest edition, it
is overused, used aggressively, and improper
capitalisation is used, causing imbalance
between the lower and uppercase – why can’t
we all be equal?
I can see that you did try and represent
this letter in your Whanganui and
Wellington articles, but I feel like that was
forced, not a choice, so it doesn’t count.
Please try and be more inclusive of
all minority letters in the future. I want
a magazine that I can be proud of, and
minority alphabetism does not allow me to
do that.
Kind regards,
Sarah Holis
Kind regards,
W.X Williams
EVERYONE’S A WINNER!
MASSIVE would love to hear from you. You can drop
your letters into any students’ association office, or email
them to editor@massivemagazine.org.nz . Alternatively,
you could play Harry Potter: pretend the nearest bird
you find is an owl, and ask it nicely to deliver your letter
to us, down our imaginary chimney. Whatever method
you choose, if your letter reaches us, and is published,
you will win a bag of People’s coffee. To claim your
prize, flick us an email.
EDITORIAL
3
$UP HOMIES,
My name is Lil’ Kim, what’s good?
I am currently tapping this out while lying
in bed, wrapped up in blankets like a burrito.
I am as sick as a dog, and although my cough
echoes through the house, I don’t want to
be anywhere else but my snuggly bed. The
rest of my flat is freezing; I can see my breath
when I cough, laugh, or breathe. As a young
duckling I used to show people when I could
see my breath, thinking I was a joker because
it looked like I was smoking. At 21, in the
depths of the harsh Wellington Winter, this
is no longer a laughing matter.
This month, I heard that Housing
Minister Dr Nick Smith strengthened the
Residential Tenancies Act by setting new
requirements that all landlords must provide
floor and ceiling insulation in all flats by
mid-2019. The changes also meant that all
rental properties would be required to have
smoke alarms fitted by July 1, 2016.
Although this announcement has taken far
too long and although more could be done
to enhance the quality of our rentals, it is a
very positive move. As almost every student
lives in a flat, it shows that our government
....actually cares for our wellbeing. Even
.........though our landlords may not want
.........to dent their bank balance, which we
..........give a hefty top up every week, they
..........now legally have to put in the coin to
...........keep us cosy.
The current combo of thin walls, lowquality flats, and frosty mornings is worrying.
At this time of year you can easily hear the
students before you see them, as the lecture
theatres sound like they are filled with a choir
of coughers.
When living at my fully insulated home, I
was rarely unwell. I know first-hand, that a
cold, damp flat is a huge contributing factor
to this interrupting sickness. Yes, it would
be magical if Dr Nick Smith and “our mate
John”, decided to dig deeper and provide
heatpumps and spa pools for all flats, but I
think my expectations are a little high. For
now, this is a move in the right direction. I
hope that in the future, da boiz will continue
to think of the hardship of being a cold,
broke, student on the struggle bus, and keep
providing the goods.
This month, we check out the latest news
from your campus; discuss sex etiquette;
explore the futuristic world of 3D printing;
provide plenty of beautiful art for your walls,
and much more.
Until next time,
HAVE YOUR VOICE HEARD
Here at MASSIVE, we aim to represent
the diverse student body, and produce a
publication that all students can be proud
of. As the editor, I cannot identify every
potential harmful piece of content, so I
would love some help. I am looking for
a group of students who have a diverse
range of views and backgrounds, who can
assist me with a content screening process
before the magazine goes to print. Your
voice would be very valuable in helping
us provide a magazine that informs,
entertains, and causes no harm. If you
are interested, please email me at editor@
massivemagazine.org.nz . Please be in
contact ASAP, as applications will close on
August 18.
4
IN SHORT
MALE, FEMALE, OR GENDER DIVERSE?
Name: Rachel Purdie. Age: 22. Male or
female: Female. The last is a seemingly simple
answer, yet many do not have the option of
selecting their identity at all. Up until July
17 the choice had largely been binary, but
Statistics New Zealand have taken a huge
step forward in extending the boundaries of
male and female by including a third choice:
gender diverse. A spotlight has been on gender
identification and relationships for some
time now, with events of a similar nature
being discussed more frequently in the public
forum; the United States of America recently
legalised same sex marriage across all states,
Caitlyn Jenner has become an example for
transgender people, and Angelina Jolie and
Brad Pitt face scrutiny for allowing their
eldest child to choose their own gender
identity. The terminology decided upon, ‘gender
diverse’, may draw negative attention from
some, however, it serves as an umbrella term.
Identity involves how a person feels and
experiences their gender, and an alternative
such as ‘transgender’ may be too pointed,
whereas ‘other’ or ‘unidentified’ can be seen
as demeaning. The classification also offers
further sub categories for definition, as
explained on gaynz.com:
“gender diverse not further defined,
transgender male to female,
transgender female to male,
gender diverse not elsewhere classified.”
Two years ago New Zealand legalised
same sex marriage, and although this may
seem to be a small step, this is representative
of a bigger movement towards a greater
acceptance of those whose gender identity
may be different from what they were
assigned at birth. While I do not presume to understand the
difficulty some face answering a question such
as this, I am all for New Zealand moving in
the right direction. By recognising that the
constricted binaries of male and female don’t
accurately reflect everyone’s identities, New
Zealand is becoming a world leader in the
recognition of evolving sexual identities. While the term has been set as a gender
standard for government organisations
collecting and sharing information, it is not
yet mandatory and is only recommended.
Here’s hoping that it will create a change
throughout other data gathering means over
time. OPINION: BEING A GROWN-UP
I came home recently and found my
flatmates were enjoying a glass of red wine
with their dinner. I found it strange, as they
weren’t going out on this particular Tuesday,
but were instead just having one drink. I
responded with “you guys are such grownups.”
We’ve always wanted to grow up. When
we were 12 we wanted to be 15, when we
were 15 we craved 18. We wanted breasts,
not nipple buds, we wanted to fall in love,
to design our own home, to stay out with
no curfew. But then, 18 arrives and we are
officially an adult. Yeah, I thought I was an
adult when I hit 15 and was issued my young
adult library card, but really, 18 officially
marks the transition to adulthood. It can
be a bit daunting really. I, for one, started
to question the appropriateness of certain
“childish” behaviours, once I turned 18. Was
it still acceptable to play on the playground,
to eat with your fingers, to laugh when
witnessing someone receiving a wet willy?
To me, yes, turning 18 meant adulthood,
but didn’t necessarily make me feel like a
grown-up. The perks of being 18 include
freedom, but adulthood also brings a great
amount of responsibility and pressure.
Looking back at what we thought it’d
be to grow up, essentially we wanted
responsibilities. When can you consider
yourself to be a grown-up? Is it a particular
age, a certain milestone?
Some people define a grown-up as having
reached a certain stage of life. Some say that
when you own a house, graduate, get your
first job, get married, or give birth, you’ve
become a grown-up. A friend said that to
be a grown-up is to become a woman, and
to become a woman, to her, means giving
birth. Humming along with this tune,
lots of people consider themselves to be a
grown-up once they have full responsibility
of themselves. To many I spoke with, it’s no
longer relying on their parents, and fending
for themselves.
A friend said that the first time she felt
5
like a grown-up was when she first took her
dad out for a coffee, and paid for it. On that
same note, I temporarily thought that I was a
grown-up once, when my taste-buds altered
and I started to consume coffee for leisure.
For others, it’s not just about refusing to
let mum pay for your pyjamas – it’s a shift
in attitude. Having the maturity to deal with
tricky situations; having the balls to own
a mistake and apologise. It’s thinking of
others before yourself, and acknowledging all
varying opinions.
So when you sit in your office chair
wearing a blazer, when you hold in your farts
at sleepovers, are you a grown-up yet?
Maybe some of us will just never grow up.
They will never stop finding it funny to draw
a penis on their mate’s textbook, they will
always get a thrill out of planting a whoopee
cushion on someone’s chair.
Looking back to my 15-year-old idea of
what a grown-up was, I have apparently
reached it. I no longer rely on my parents’
cash flow, I have a full-time job, pay tax, live
in my own place, and I can stay up all night,
with no fear of getting growled at by mother
bear. Yet, I still don’t feel like a grown-up. I
think it’s a mind-set that constantly evolves
with the individual. Maybe I’ll never grow
up. What’s your definition?
By Brooklyn Diaz
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6
EVENTS FEED
WELLINGTON CAMPUS
Cultural Food day: August 5, 11am-2pm, Pyramid.
Impressive interview skills: Wednesday August 5,
10am-11:30am, Flax room. Come and learn how to
prepare and present effectively at an interview.
Study Up workshops: August 5, 6, 11, 12, 13. Develop
ASA Annual General Meeting: Wednesday August 5,
TSCF Meeting: Wednesdays, 12:00-13:00, AT5.
12pm, ASA Lounge. All students encouraged to attend
Christians who hang out together on campus. Anyone who
– pizza provided! For more info please contact ASA VP,
would like to find out about Jesus is welcome. Chat, pray,
James Speedy: avp@asa.ac.nz
study the bible together, and do social things as well.
ASA Executive Nominations for 2016: Open from
Chess Club: Tuesdays, 16:00-17:00, Village Campus
August 5-21. Get nominated, and then get elected! For
(opposite Engineering reception) A group of students
valuable academic skills by attending these online
more info please contact: ASA VP, James Speedy: avp@
who get together to play social chess. Beginners or experts
workshops, open to all students. Find out more at https://
asa.ac.nz
are welcome. Contact Jordan.k.lewis@live.com for more
connect.massey.ac.nz/studyup
MACS Speaker Series - Shuzanah Abdeen, marketing
association education quality manager: Wednesday
information.
a non-perishable food item, such as a tin of peaches or a
August 19, 12:30pm. Location: QA1. Learn about the
Domain 2. For more information check out www.
bag of rice, to pay off your library fines. The food then gets
Marketing Association’s Brand Challenge, and the benefits
facebook.com/groups/MasseyUniRugby/ .
donated to a food bank at the end of the week.
of a student membership. For more info please contact:
Food for fines week at the library: August 17. Donate
Food truck week: August 19. Check out MAWSA’s
Facebook page for more details.
Massey University Open Day: August 28, starts at
8:30am.
Kokiri Ngatahi Kai and Korero: Wednesdays, 12:0013:00, Whanau Room
Massey Wellington Life Drawing Club: Every Thursday
Northern, Oteha Valley Road Extension. Come play
group www.facebook.com/groups/macsalbany/
social tennis with the Tennis Club. $2 pay to play.
University Futsal Championship: August 28 - 30,
Coaching available. Rain or shine, as there are indoor
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (Specific times are yet to
courts available. Contact Mua.tennis@gmail.com for more
be made available). Location: Massey University Sports
information.
Hall. Come and support Massey University! Games will
be streamed live at www.stuff.co.nz/sport/football. For
more info please follow at www.facebook.com/MAFF10
com/groups/MasseyWellingtonLifeDrawing for the
or email masseyunifootball@gmail.com
Anime and Manga Club: Meet Thursdays 17:00 in
Tennis Club: Wednesdays, 12:00-14:00, Tennis
macsmassey@gmail.com or join the MACS Facebook
of the semester, 18:00-20:00 Check out www.facebook.
location.
Rugby Club training: Thursdays, 17:00, QBE Stadium,
BSG Meeting: Wednesdays, 12:00pm - 01:00pm,
contact bsg@massey.ac.nz
Volleyball Club: Sundays, 12:30 – 14:30 Recreation
Centre Sports Hall
MANAWATU CAMPUS
Massey Open Day: August 5, starts at 8am.
MUSA Clubs Council Meeting: August 6, 5 to 6:30pm,
Walking Group: Thursdays, 12-30pm-1pm. A great
MUSA Lounge.Find out how your student fees are spent
way to get some exercise into your day and to meet other
and have a say in spending them to benefit students! To
Kaibosh is a food redistribution charity that redistributes
Recreation Centre members, Massey University staff and
register and more info, info please contact clubs@musa.
food to people who need it. All the food that we get is still
students. All abilities welcomed. Meet at the Recreation
org.nz
usable and aimed at students in hardship. Come get it!
Centre reception at 12:30pm
5C12. Watch anime, discuss and play games.
Free food: Wednesdays, all day, MAWSA office.
Kitesurfing Club: Meet Wednesdays 3-7pm, Block 12.
K-pop Club: Meet Mondays 17:00 in 5C12
Massey Association of Pasifika Students (MAPS):
Meet Tuesdays, 12-1pm in the PI Room.
Massey Magic the Gathering Club: Thursdays, ASA
Lounge, 17:00
Badminton Club: Tuesdays, 17:30 – 19:30 Recreation
Centre Sports Hall
Ultimate Frisbee Club: Tuesdays, 17:00 – 19:00
AUCKLAND CAMPUS
Study Up workshops: August 4, 5, 6, 11, 12, 13.
Develop valuable academic skills by attending these online
workshops, open to all students. Find out more at https://
connect.massey.ac.nz/studyup
ASA Hollywood Ball: Thursday August 20, 6pm-
Recreation Centre Sports Hall
Toastmasters Breakfast Meeting: Wednesdays, 07:15
– 08:30 Student Lounge
Saudi Club: Thursdays 19:30 – 21:30 Recreation
Centre Sports Hall
Massey Albany Football Federation (MAFF): Saturdays
Red Cross Blood Donation Services: 11 &12 August,
all day, MUSA Lounge. Give a little!
To register and more info, info please contact Debra.
Buchanan@nzblood.co.nz
Unity in Diversity: 14 August, 6:30 pm, show starts at
7pm, Globe Theatre, Main Street. Aerial stunts, shaking
booties, undulating hips, charangas and stomps: let your
fellow students entertain you! Tickets 10$ at the door or
by contactingclubs@musa.org.nz
Halls Ball: Friday August 14, 8pm-11:59pm. Social
event for halls student and their partners. This year’s
theme is circus/carnival. Tickets are $50. Live band,
12:00am, Auckland Museum Events Centre. Theme:
14:30 – 16:30 Recreation Centre Sports Hall
photographer, nibbles, transport to and from the venue,
Hollywood 1940s. Tickets, which include a sit down
limbo prize draw for first 300 tickets sold.
dinner, can be bought online and at the ASA student
Massey University Chinese Basketball Association
(MUCBA): Sundays 10:00 – 12:00 Recreation Centre
reception. Plus one tickets are available. Buy your ticket
Sports Hall
Concourse. Free food to warm you up! Brought to you by
now to be in for a night to remember. For more info
please contact: ASA President, Byron Brooks: president@
asa.ac.nz
Drafting and writing the thesis: Wednesday August
Netball Club: Wednesdays, 17:00-18:00, Recreation
Centre Sports Hall
Rockclimbing Club: Meet Mondays at 6pm at the
Mid-Winter Food Festival: 19 August, 11-2pm,
your fellow clubs! Clubs interested in participating, please
contact clubs@musa.org.nz
NZ Mountain Film Festival: 9 September, 5 pm, Rugby
carpool car park. Then we head out to Extreme Edge in
Institute. An Alpine Club Fundraiser bringing you the
5, 12-1:30pm, Library Seminar Room. This workshop,
Panmure, arriving back on campus around 10:30pm. (ASA
best of Mountain Films from New Zealand. For tickets
specifically for post-grads, covers organising the thesis,
Van & carpool)We’ve negotiated a special discounted
and more information, contact president@muac.org.nz
writing the complete first draft,a nd what characteristics
entry fee of $11 per session. For more info about the club
make a good thesis. Registrations are essential. Contact
contact James Speedy: mua.rockclimbing@gmail.com
L.Sevillano@massey.ac.nz.
Swimming Club: Saturdays, 13:00-15:00. Lido Aquatic
Centre. Contact muswimclub@gmail.com for details.
Keep an eye on the Massey University app to keep up
with other events as they pop up.
7
WELLINGTON LOCAL NEWS
CAREER ADVOCATES SYSTEM SUCCEEDING
Career development consultant, Grant
Verhoeven, has established a Career
Advocates system, and so far it has been
beneficial to both Massey Career Services,
and the students.
According to Grant, “the idea is to make
the Career and Employment Service more
relevant and attractive to students. We want
to hear what is important to them, in terms
of what they want out of the workshops and
other services we offer. “
The idea started at the beginning of the
year after Grant talked to some fourth-year
students and asked them what they wanted
out of the Career and Employment Service. It
was through this conversation that he realised
the importance of the student voice, and
thought it would be useful to have Career
Advocates.
“The more student involvement in Career
Services, the better,” Grant says.
The Career Advocates have the chance to
provide input into what topics they want
to hear about, help with promotion of the
events, and help run them.
Not only does this programme benefit the
career advocates, giving their CV a boost,
it also helps out students, as their feedback
is being heard and passed on, meaning
they are rewarded with quality and relevant
workshops.
Through the help of the Career Advocates,
Grant is recognising the specific interests
of each cohort of the university, and is now
able to cater to these with the workshops he
chooses to run.
“They’ve been really helpful in terms of
content and timing. I’ve found out, for
example, that VCD students have spare time
on Friday mornings, so that is now when I
run the workshops.”
He also discovered that the main areas that
the fourth-year design students wanted to
focus on were: portfolio building, LinkedIn,
business and freelancing, and industry
connections.
From this feedback, Grant ran a workshop
for fourth-year students that focused on
building a portfolio – an incredible 55
students attended.
Although this pilot programme is still
in its early stages, currently only covering
design and fashion, Grant can see a
promising future. He looks at it as more
of an “evolution” and hopes to expand the
programme so that it covers all areas of the
university.
“Just like the Class Advocate system, which
has really taken off, peer to peer interaction
is key. Students are much more likely to get
involved if their peers are encouraging them
to go, or raving about how good a workshop
was.”
In the future, Grant says he is keen to
engage with students and hear what they
want from Careers Services. If you want to
become a careers advocate, please contact
Grant at g.verhoeven@massey.ac.nz
Also, make sure you sign up to Career Hub
(careerhub.massey.ac.nz) as it’s the best way
to keep up to date with everything that’s
happening in relation to Career Services.
CLUBS DAY FILLS THE PYRAMID
The heavenly smell of popcorn and
candyfloss wafting from the Pyramid drew
huge crowds to the semester two Clubs Day
on July 22.
Generally, when students know there will
be free food available at an event, they flock
to it, but this time the food wasn’t the only
drawcard. 11 MAWSA-affiliated clubs set up
fun stalls in order to promote their club to
the Massey Wellington student body.
According to clubs coordinator Sarah
Wang, not all clubs attended, but there were
enough there to “create a buzz”, and she says
it was an “exciting day, full of flavour and
fun”.
All stalls took advantage of hungry and
poor students by luring them in with the
offering of free treats. The effort in showing
up proved worthwhile, as all clubs signed up
new members. From behind the barbecue, having lovingly
handed out many a sausage, MAWSA
president Tom Pringle said the event had
been a “sizzling success”.
“Events like these are a great way to
showcase the wide range of clubs we have here
on campus.”
Pringle was also the judge of the inter-club
rap battle, which proved to be a highlight of
the event. To be in to win a share of the prize
pool, representatives from each club had to
perform a rap about how their club enhanced
life on campus.
Wang hosted the battle, and was suitably
impressed with the competitors’ confidence.
“It takes a lot of courage to get up and speak
8
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9
WELLINGTON LOCAL NEWS
in front of others, let alone rap a wee ditty.”
Film Club said you should join their club
because they have a “movie night every
week, and it won’t be bleak”. Unfortunately,
his rhyming efforts couldn’t nab him a top
three position, with K-Pop, Uni-Q and
MAPS taking out 1st, 2nd and 3rd places
respectively.
Wang suggests all students be part of
a club, as they are an important part of
university life.
“It gives you an opportunity to meet
people, try something new, and also it’s
good for your own wellbeing. Uni shouldn’t
just be about study; you should be able to
have a good work-life balance, work hard,
play hard.”
To check out all 30 clubs on campus, visit
mawsa.org.nz. If you want to start your own
club, please contact clubs@mawsa.org.nz.
TRUCK YEAH – THEY’RE RETURNING!
With the first Food Truck Week proving
to be a huge success, the MAWSA Events
Committee is bringing them back on three
separate occasions this semester.
Over 300 students enjoyed fine cuisine
from the five food trucks that came to
campus between 5-8pm in week 11 and 12
of semester one, which is hand in week for
many Wellington students.
According to board member, Melanie
Kennedy, the Events Committee decided
to trial out bringing in food trucks after the
idea was “bounced around within the events
team”, which is made up of students.
They then posed the idea to all students
on the MAWSA Facebook page and received
extremely positive feedback.
Kennedy was not surprised with this
feedback, saying that students have always
wanted after-hours quality food options.
“Once Tussock closes, there are no food
places in close proximity to the campus
except for the dairy.”
The reason the committee decided to bring
the food trucks in for hand-in week, was that
more students are on campus late at night
and, as Kennedy says, “we want to ensure
that they are eating proper meals. In times of
high stress, and little time, students tend to
eat shitty food or not eat at all.”
As well as happy and full students, tutors
also got involved – as they are also working
long hours.
The food trucks that came in semester one
were: Chimney Cakes, Nannys, Greek Food
Truck, The Fire Truck, and Antojitos. They
all provided a wide range of quality meals at
an affordable price.
Kennedy confirms that this semester we
will be seeing some of the favourites as well as
some “new kids on the block”.
If you’re already salivating at the thought
of this divine cuisine, don’t fret, you don’t
have long to wait. The food trucks will be
returning between 5-8pm on August 19,20,
and 21, and again on October 7, 8, 9, 14,15,
and 16. To keep yourself in the loop, check
out the MAWSA Facebook page.
MAWSA events coordinator, Holly
Dodson, says “with the positive feedback so
far we are looking at other alternatives that
will provide after-hours food options.” So,
keep your eyes peeled, and stay hungry!
Student Job Search (SJS) is the leading
service for casual, part time & summer
work for New Zealand Tertiary Students.
SJS is FREE for all Massey University
students to use thanks to your Students’
Associations.
Register with SJS and start looking for
jobs today or apply to the jobs below by
heading to our website www.sjs.co.nz
Wellington
Fashion / Design Students Wanted!
This cool new brand needs fashion/design
students to help sew hand bags that are
recycled and a sustainable design. To be
considered you must be either studying in a
related field or have sewing experience, and
have access to a commercial sewing machine.
The handbags you will be creating are basic but
there will be no training provided so you must
be able to get straight on with the job. Hours
are flexible to fit around your studies and you
can work from home. Payment will be $20 per
bag completed.
Apply using the job number: 103693964
Support Work
IDEA Services provide support for people with
intellectual disabilities so they can live, learn,
work and enjoy life as part of a community.
They need a number of students to help assist
people in learning life skills and attending
activities such as going to the library, going
to the gym, swimming, dancing, watching a
rugby game or going shopping at a mall. They
currently have part-time hours available after
school, in the weekends and during school
holidays (10-25 hours per fortnight). Starting
wage is $15.77.
Apply using the job number: 103673106
10
MANAWATU LOCAL NEWS
BY CARWYN WALSH
CLUBS DAY A ROARING SUCCESS
A NASA spacecraft beamed back fresh
images of Pluto on the first Wednesday of the
new semester.
That same Wednesday on the Manawatu
campus, students gathered in the MUSA
Lounge and dining hall for the bi-annual,
MUSA organised Clubs Day.
The event kicked off shortly before midday,
and students mingled among the many stalls
with the alluring scent of complimentary
candyfloss wafting through the air.
Representatives of 63 of the 65 MUSA
affiliated clubs and organisations were in
attendance, including the Debating Club,
the always popular Anime Society and
the various eccentrics that make up the
Accounting Club.
The Massey Fire Club (Circus Arts
enthusiasts, not pyromaniacs) proved to be
particularly eye-catching with their various
stunts that included whips, fire, and stilts.
Complimentary kit was cunningly used by
club representatives to attract punters to their
stalls.
Free smiles, sweets and pens were
particularly popular, although the rumoured
free scalp massages never materialised.
The Young Nats and Young Labour backed
on to each other in the MUSA Lounge and
both gave out free bottle-openers as enticers
to passing students.
The Young Nats believed that their
bottle-opener was superior to the one offered
by Young Labour, calling their design
“environmentally sustainable”, “fiscally
sensible” and a “great promoter of individual
responsibility”.
Young Labour rubbished these claims,
saying that their design was sponsored by
“grassroots donors” not “millionaires and
billionaires” and that their bottle opener was
“stronger” and will “last longer”.
Logan Speedy of the Massey the Gatherer
Club (a grouping of Magic the Gathering
card-game enthusiasts) reported that his club
were using the day to rejuvenate numbers
with many of their members having left
Palmerston North after recently graduating.
Judging by the many fresh signatures on his
clipboard, Speedy’s efforts appeared to be
going well.
Gunhild Litwin, MUSA’s club
development officer, said, through a
translator, that “there’s a great mix of clubs
and organisations on the Manawatu campus.”
“Despite the weather”, said Litwin, “today
was a success and a great showcase of all of
our clubs.”
RAMADAN CELEBRATED ON CAMPUS
The Massey Muslim Society extended a
warm welcome to non-Muslim students and
members of the public to attend an evening
celebration of Ramadan Iftar on July 13. Ramadan is a holy month of fasting
observed by practicing Muslims throughout
the world.
Muslims participating in the month must
abstain from food and water from dawn
until dusk and, according to Rashad Syed,
the president of Massey Muslim Society,
this fasting encourages “God-consciousness,
humility, charity, and perseverance”.
Observant Muslim adults are expected to
take part, although exceptions are made for
the elderly, sick, pregnant or breast-feeding
and menstruating women, and those Muslims
who are travelling at the time.
Those invited to the evening took part in
an informal Iftar (fast-breaking meal) held at
the Manawatu campus mosque.
Syed said that the Iftar invitational evening
is held annually at the mosque for nonMuslims so they can be educated about what
Ramadan is all about.
Members of the public in attendance
included students, MUSA, and Massey staff,
as well as representatives from the Christian
Chaplaincy and the Palmerston North
and Taihape police. MUSA manager Craig Black was happy
to be invited, saying: “MUSA, as an
organisation, likes to celebrate all their
students with all their different traditions.”
After an azan (call to prayer) led by
Mohamed Badri, a post-graduate plant
systematics student, an appetiser of fruit,
flavoured milk, and dates imported from
Tunisia was offered to everyone.
Following this, the invitees watched
on as their hosts took part in a short salāt
(communal worship), before an online video
was played showing a few verses, or Ayah’s,
from the Quran.
The online teaching was given by Nouman
Ali Khan, a well-known Muslim scholar, and
a block of chocolate was awarded to a local
policeman who could recall, with the most
clarity, what the day’s teaching centred on.
A meal of biryani (a rice-based dish with
lamb) was then offered to all attendees before
11
a dessert of kheer (a sweet rice-based dish
with almonds and caramelised milk) was
brought out to conclude the evening.
During the eating of the meal, nonMuslim and Muslim mixed freely and
conversed over a wide range of topics.
The evening’s festivities were concluded
with Syed thanking all those invited for their
attendance.
The invitees, all of whom were nursing
rather bloated stomachs, left with their
appetites sated and with many a fond farewell
from their hosts.
EXHIBITION HIGHLIGHTS POVERTY IN
PALMERSTON NORTH
Poverty in Palmerston North was
highlighted in an evening event, held on July
2, on the ground floor of the Palmerston
North City Library.
The event, ‘Poverty in the City’, was
organised by Kevin Reilly of the Manawatu
Tenants’ Union and attracted a crowd of over
50 people.
Reilly took guests around the large
photographic exhibition that featured
individuals and families struggling with
poverty.
The subjects in the photographs had, said
Reilly, “fallen on hard times” and suffered
from a “lack of decent accommodation” and
a “shortage of money”.
The photographs displayed a diverse
range of individuals – one man was a recent
refugee arrival to New Zealand, another
was homeless and begged on the streets and
one, said Reilly, was a highly-educated man
suffering from the effects of mental illness.
The event also featured various speakers
who all spoke on the issue of poverty and
how it had come about in New Zealand.
Rangitaane iwi kaumatua Wiremu
Kingi Te Awe Awe spoke about how he
remembered a different New Zealand where
“everyone had a job” and everyone was
“reasonably middle-class”.
Lawrence O’Halloran spoke on behalf of
the Catholic diocese of Palmerston North
and labelled poverty in New Zealand “a
matter of shame”. O’Halloran blamed a
more “individualised society” for helping
make poverty less of an issue, saying that
the “segregation of the poor” had meant the
“non-poor of New Zealand have no everyday
experience of the poor in their society.”
Kathleen Stevens, herself suffering from
the effects of poverty, spoke about her
everyday struggle to live. Stevens suffers from
arthritis, asthma and high-blood pressure and
could not afford to pay her medical bills, lives
off of $20 worth of food a week and can only
afford one meal a day. Stevens never “parties,
smokes or drinks” and had “contemplated
suicide” many times in the past.
Reilly concluded the speaking aspect of the
event by saying that real solutions to poverty
in New Zealand need to occur.
“It should have nothing to do with the
National Party or the Labour Party”, said
Reilly, “we (the people of New Zealand) have
got to do more.”
MUSA were represented at the event by
student advocate Kerry Howe and president
Linsey Higgins.
Student Job Search (SJS) is the leading
service for casual, part time & summer
work for New Zealand Tertiary Students.
SJS is FREE for all Massey University
students to use thanks to your Students’
Associations.
Register with SJS and start looking for
jobs today or apply to the jobs below by
heading to our website www.sjs.co.nz
Palmerston North
Music Teachers
This Music School requires experienced and
qualified musicians to join their growing team!
To be considered you need to have completed
a relevant music qualification and undertaken
exams relevant to your instrument of choice.
5 hours a week, all teaching is done at either
studios or schools. $30 - $45 an hour.
Apply using the job number: 103670487
Telemarketing
This employer is looking for motivated
students to help warm call leads and
convert these into appointments for
Insurance Consultants. You will need great
communication skills and en excellent phone
manner to be considered; experience in Sales
or Customer Service would be a bonus.
Afternoon and evening shifts are available with
approximately 20 hours of work available each
week. $15 an hour.
Apply using the job number: 103619234
12
AUCKLAND LOCAL NEWS
BY JULIA BRAYBROOK
2016 ASA EXECUTIVE TEAM NEEDED
Nominations for next year’s executive team
on the Auckland campus are open soon.
2015 Albany Students’ Association (ASA)
president, Byron Brooks, said that students
would be able to hand their nominations in
to the ASA from August 5-21.
He said that a good candidate for the ASA
2016 executive team “is someone who wants
to help all students at Massey University,
make a difference, and wants to better the
community”. He encouraged students to “do
it” as “it is an incredible experience and is
very rewarding”.
Brooks said that during his time as
president, he had “learnt many new skills,
from governance and running meetings to
time management and organisation”. His
advice to future ASA presidents was that
“organisation is key”.
2015 social vice-president, Jonathan Sng,
said that being part of the executive team
this year had given him “the opportunity to
contribute to the development of the culture
and experience at Massey University.”
“Many students aren’t fully aware of what
the team do for them!...It has opened doors
to new opportunities, introduced me to a
variety of people and improved my project
management and communication skills.
Also it has been very rewarding to be able
to provide fun and interactive events for
students to leave long-lasting memories.”
He suggested that students looking to
join the 2016 executive team “should be
committed and have the aim to improve the
experience of students and represent them.”
2015 College of Business representative,
Cecilia Cho, said that being part of the
executive team gave her a “great opportunity
to meet students outside of my college” and
that representing the College of Business
meant that she was “able to network with a
wide range of people,” including lecturers
and support staff. She said that while the
“opportunity comes with the great chance
of increasing your interpersonal skills,” it
also meant that “you do have to put in time
and keep up your words.” She advised those
students who were interested in joining the
executive team to “analyse if you can afford
the time and the effort, and you’ll be amazed
about how much you can get out of it.”
Information regarding the 2016 election
would be posted on the ASA website, and
those keen to get involved could visit the
ASA office at Student Central, or talk to the
one of the current 2015 executive team.
The nomination period runs from August 5
to August 21, with voting opening September
18 and closing September 23.
ASA BALL GOES TO HOLLYWOOD
The Albany Students’ Association (ASA)
revealed the 2015 ball theme and location
during the mid-semester break.
The event, which is on August 20, will be
held at Auckland Museum’s Events Centre
with a Hollywood 1940s theme. Tickets are
$75.00 per person, and include a sit-down
buffet dinner and desserts. Transport to and
from the venue could also be booked, with a
cost of $10 per person.
2015 ASA president, Byron Brooks, said
that the theme was chosen as “the 1940’s
era for Hollywood was a very classy and
glamorous time.” He said that the reaction
so far had been “excitement” and that the
“theme and location has been very well
received”. When asked whether students
could expect anything on the night, such
as the burlesque dancers at the 2014 Great
Gatsby ball, he said that students would “have
to wait and see”.
However, he said that tickets sales had
gone “faster than we expected and there aren’t
many left.” He added that “if they continue
going at the rate they are now, they will be
sold out soon.”
He advised students wanting to go to the
ball to “get your tickets soon and keep up to
date with ball developments on our [ASA]
Facebook page.”
The ASA Hollywood Ball is open to
current Massey students, both internal and
extramural, with plus one tickets available for
non-Massey students, according to the ASA
website.
Tickets can be bought through the
ASA’s website, or at ASA’s Student Lounge
Reception. Those buying tickets online could
pick their physical tickets up from the ASA
reception.
THE MOST EXPENSIVE KFC ON CAMPUS
The Golden Promise statue on Massey’s
Auckland campus got a makeover over midsemester break.
Albany Massey Engineering Student Society
(AMESS) decorated the statue with a red
bucket, turning the ‘chicken wing statue’ into
KFC’s finest.
AMESS’ Hayden Wilson said that “we do
not like the chicken wing, and we don’t think
it represents Massey University students in a
nice light, while the chicken wing is pretty it
is not suitable for us.” He said that they chose
the KFC bucket as “it’s what we think of
when we see that sculpture, it doesn’t remind
us of a broken promise but instead of KFC.”
13
Wilson also said that the reaction to
the newly-decorated statue had been “very
positive”.
“We know Massey staff and the custodians
have loved it and many students have
approached AMESS and expressed their
liking of the bucket.”
Students also took to Facebook to share
their reaction to the statue, with one
student commenting on Massey University’s
Facebook post that “it’s the best thing to
happen to that statue!” Another commented
that it was “the most expensive KFC you’ll
ever find.” Reaction to the statue was also
positive in a video posted by the university,
with those interviewed saying that they loved
it and that “it’s fabulous”.
When asked whether students could
expect other pranks on campus this semester,
Wilson said that “AMESS has a very full
calendar this year, having already organised
events such as Beer Pong, Laser Force and
Pub Quiz and of course the chicken wing”. “I’m sure should we find the time to fit
anything else into our calendar year, the
student body should be well aware of it.”
The controversial statue was commissioned
to mark Massey’s golden jubilee, and was
designed by Reuben Paterson. The statue
symbolises the “protection and nurturing
offered by the university to students at
the campus,” according to a post on the
university’s website.
STUDENTS SUPPORT SMOKE-FREE CAMPUS
The majority of students at the Auckland
campus support a smoke-free university.
A survey carried out in July by the Albany
Students’ Association to see “the students
reaction to a proposal to make the Massey
University Albany Campus Smoke-Free”
found that 4 out of 5 students surveyed
would prefer the campus become smoke-free,
according to the results of the survey.
Of the students who voted to make the
campus smoke-free, 40% “suggested moving
the designated smoking areas” while 60%
of those surveyed preferred smoking to
be “completely prohibited. The current
designated smoking areas on the East
Precinct campus are in front of the Atrium,
by the Study Centre, and the top bus stops.
Most students also asked that all smoking
products, including e-cigarettes, should
be prohibited, with only 40% saying they
believed that e-cigarettes should be allowed.
12% of those who responded were
“smokers, e-cigarette, or tobacco consumers.”
Comments from students surveyed
included “this smoke-free policy is a healthy
initiative that can provide healthy learning
environment for students” and “either ban it
completely or move it away from the main
entrance.”
Students also said that they’d “be happy if
the main smoking area on the main campus
was removed. You can’t work past without
being accosted by the smoke, and it ruins a
perfectly nice seating area.” Others said that
“some sort of change is definitely necessary! I
feel I inhale a lot of second hand smoke when
walking to lectures.”
If the Auckland campus implemented
changes to make the campus smoke-free,
it would be the fourth university in New
Zealand to become smoke-free.
Student Job Search (SJS) is the leading
service for casual, part time & summer
work for New Zealand Tertiary Students.
SJS is FREE for all Massey University
students to use thanks to your Students’
Associations.
Register with SJS and start looking for
jobs today or apply to the jobs below by
heading to our website www.sjs.co.nz
Auckland
Outbound Telephone Market
Research Interviewers - Grafton
This employer specialises in conducting
Market Research Interviews on behalf of large
Australian Corporates, Government Bodies
and Universities. They need 20 students with
excellent communication and computer skills
who are available to work 4 shifts a week
(18 hours in total). Work starts ASAP, $15 $16.50 an hour.
Apply using the job number: 103665824
Youth Worker – Coatesville
Are you energetic, sporty, love the outdoors,
and can adapt to a busy family schedule? This
is the job for you! This employer needs four
enthusiastic and energetic students to help
support a young man with Autism; you will
be supporting him with all aspects of his life
which include daily living, participation in
social activities and supporting independence
at home and within the community.
To be considered you must have a full New
Zealand Drivers licence, have clear and
confident communication skills and be good
natured, patient and willing to learn. 20 hours
work a week, $18 an hour.
Apply using the job number: 103693982
FEATURE
15
3D PRINTERS: THE PAST, THE
NOW, AND THE FUTURE
IN BACK TO THE FUTURE 2, DOC BROWN AND MARTY MCFLY LAND IN 2015, TO FIND A
FUTURISTIC LAND OF FLYING CARS AND HOVERCRAFTS. THEIR PREDICTIONS WEREN’T FAR
OFF, AS THERE IS CURRENTLY SOME PRETTY HI-TECH STUFF OUT THERE. CARWYN WALSH
EXPLORES THE WORLD OF 3D PRINTING.
When the floor was opened to questions
at the recent New Zealand First gathering in
Palmerston North, one particular question
for Winston Peters stood out.
A middle-aged gentleman asked Peters
what his thoughts were on the potential of
3D printing technology.
Falling outside the usual scope of questions
centred mainly on gold cards and foreigners,
the gentleman’s question was met by a chorus
of geriatric sighs, and for once on that sunny
Palmerston North day, the unflappable Peters
could not provide an immediate answer.
To be fair, Winston Peters is not the only
one clueless over where the potential of 3D
printers could take us.
Many people, myself included, had only
heard of these machines recently.
What exactly are 3D printers and where
could this exciting technology take us?
Essentially, in layman’s term, 3D printers
allow users to produce solid, three-
dimensional objects with the aid of computer
and scanner technology. The process of 3D
printing, or rapid prototyping, can take hours
and even days for particularly complex items.
Items are created layer by layer and a range
of materials can be used to make the final
product, such as plastic, nylon, titanium,
steel, polycarbonate and even wax.
3D printing technology may have only
come into vogue recently, but like the
internet, this technology has taken a while to
be fully appreciated by the wider public. The
first prototype was produced back in 1980
by a moustachioed Japanese patent lawyer
Dr Hideo Kodama. In one of the more
colourful moments in the storied history of
Japanese patent law, Dr Kodama bungled
the paperwork of his patent application
and the honour of the first patent for a 3D
prototype went to Charles (Chuck) Hull, a
moustachioed American engineer, in 1986.
Chuck Hull co-founded 3D Systems,
which is now a multi-million dollar, and
multinational corporation. Hideo Kodama,
meanwhile, may still have his moustache and
his dignity but he does not, however, even
have his own Wikipedia page.
The technology invented by these two
has been harnessed throughout the years
by all sorts of industries, including in the
medical profession where exact mock-ups of
patient’s body parts have been used to help
assist surgeons. 3D printing has also been
used in the fashion, automotive, and defence
industries, and in the production of art.
In 2011, researchers at England’s Exeter
University really took the piss out of
diabetics everywhere, when they created the
first 3D chocolate printer. Molten chocolate
was used in layers to create chocolate designs
of any shape imaginable. Hershey’s Chocolate
took the hint and with the help of that man
Chuck Hull, are now selling their own 3D
chocolate printer, the CocoJet, to an already
16
chronically obese American public
As you can see, 3D printing technology
can be used for just about anything.
While browsing the internet to research
this feature, I came across a rather bold
declaration from one online enthusiast: “If
you can draw it”, they said, “you can make
it.”
To my imagination, this phrase, far from
arousing me, frightened me half to death.
I suddenly envisioned my future house
with its very own desktop 3D printer and
loving family. Coming home from the pub
one Sunday afternoon, I discover a fresh
batch of scones lovingly made by my wife
and/or husband. Drunkenly, I lather jam
across these scones and suddenly discover a
detailed sketch of a half-robotic, half-ape-like
humanoid obviously created by my adopted
foreign son, a supremely talented Cambodian
boy who will one day impress me so much I
might consider actually giving him a name.
It’s only then that I realise that I cannot
actually hear any of my family members in
the home. I know something is seriously
amiss when I discover my Cambodian son
slumped dead outside across his hutch. I
rush to the master bedroom and am taken
aback somewhat when I find my wife and/
or husband missing her head and being
devoured by a life-size version of my son’s
sketch. The beast then turns on me and
I desperately try and fight him off with
one of my wife and/or husband’s scones
but eventually I am overcome. Slowly,
methodically, the beast beats me to death
with his erect mechanical cock.
Will this ever happen? Is this what the
potential of these machines could be? Will
we, the human race, one day have to send
someone back in time to knife to death Dr
Kodama in front of his family?
One man who won’t be going back in time
and can, unlike me, give a credible and sane
opinion on 3D printers and their potential
is Blair Dixon, a mechatronics expert who
works with 3D printers daily at Massey
University’s School of Engineering and
Technology.
“Anyone”, says Dixon, “can buy a desktop
3D printer, download models from websites
such as GrabCAD or Thingiverse, and
3d print them. Some examples of models
people might download and print are phone
cases, game figurines, kid’s toys and cable
organisers.”
“Unless you are a hobbyist/tinkerer the
cost of a 3D printer isn’t really worth it for
small items like that. You would be better
off to upload it to somewhere like shapeways
or i.materialise (or even email it to Massey)
and have them print it using a much higher
quality machine, for a fraction of the price of
a 3D printer.”
So already, a 3D printer is available to
every household who can afford one.
Dixon opines that “the number of personal
printers in homes will increase as access to
3D modelling software increases and material
research has new breakthroughs.”
However, owing to the currently pricey
nature of the more complex machines on
the market, most of the machines capable
of producing really intricate designs remain,
for the most part, the domain of private
companies and businesses.
For these businesses, however, the benefits
of owning one of these more costly devices
could prove to be immense.
Dixon believes that 3D printers “make
it much cheaper and faster to prototype
products to be brought to market. This means
that companies can save on R&D (research
and development) costs and ultimately this
means the consumer could save money. A
lot of industries have been using 3D printing
technology for years to evolve designs before
going into production, now it is becoming
easier for small companies to do the same.”
Thus, 3D printers have the potential to
speed up the entrepreneurial efforts of small
businesses which, for us humble consumers,
could mean a wider range of new exciting and
ultimately cheaper products.
The future of 3D printing technology is
very exciting if, as predicted by many pundits
online, technically complex 3D printers
become streamlined and accessible to us all.
Our imaginations, it seems, could, in the
future, be the only things restraining us from
developing whatever it is we desire. Hopefully
restraints will be put in place for those whose
only real desire is to acquire a pocket-sized
nuclear warhead.
Following their initial invention in 1980,
3D printers have come a long way. They have
changed more dramatically than Auckland’s
housing prices.
Here’s hoping that our future will be
coloured beautifully by this amazing
technology. Then, there will be no need for
the past Dr Kodama to die in front of his
family. Then, also, I will be able to genuinely
promise the biological parents of my future
Cambodian son that I will provide a better
life for their child.
A recipe to my future wife/husband’s
scones will be shown in the next edition.
FEATURE
17
FEATURE
19
SUSSING STICKY
SEXUAL SITUATIONS
SEX IS ONE THING THAT A MAJORITY OF HUMANS AND ANIMALS HAVE IN COMMON, YET IT’S
OFTEN CONSIDERED AN UNCOMFORTABLE TOPIC TO DISCUSS. JULIA BRAYBROOK TALKS SEX
ETIQUETTE.
Let’s talk about sex, baby, let’s talk about
you and me, let’s talk about all the good
things and the bad things, including some
potentially awkward situations. I’m no Guru,
but there are a trifecta of sex situations in
which well, it’s not just the sex that can go
wrong. Whether it’s ex-sex (your own, or
a friend’s), sex as a guest, or sex outdoors,
what exactly are the ‘rules’ and just how
appropriate is it?
Whether it’s crashing on a friend’s couch
for Mardis Gras, or a longer vacay, sex at
a friend’s is something that’s not exactly
discussed before the visit. And while you’ve
probably fornicated on a friend’s futon at
some point, what is the etiquette surrounding
it? A June article from Jezebel asked 19
etiquette experts about whether or not it was
okay to have sex at someone’s house. Along
with other constraints, Jezebel said that the
urgency of said sex depended on where the
couple in question was in their relationship:
“Couples in the throes of early courtship
often rightly feel the need to bone everywhere
and should be sympathized with and
admired. The solo traveller who happened
to meet the perfect one-night stand may
be motivated by now-or-never constraints
on the hookup and feel he or she needs to
do whatever it takes, wherever it takes, and
should also be treated with compassion. The
more settled-in couple may never feel the
need to broach the issue, because they’re
fine not doing it for a night, but this could
go the opposite way, too: Much like how
people are always allegedly having sex at
weddings and after funerals, sometimes it’s
the inappropriate, inconvenient scenario that
turns boring sex hot again for lots of people.”
Much like the sex depended on the
relationship of the couple, experts
questioned were equally divided. Jay Remer,
from Canada’s Etiquette Guy, argued that “of
course it’s alright. This is the 21st century.
Just be respectful and leave everything in
better condition than when you arrived. If
necessary, this may include washing a load of
laundry.” Diane Gottsman, etiquette expert
and owner of the Protocol School of Texas,
said that “as a guest in someone’s home,
discretion in all matters, including sex in the
guest room, is paramount.”
However, she added that “as a host, if
you invite a couple to stay with you, it’s
not appropriate to dictate what they do in
the privacy of the guest quarters. As long
as property is not damaged, the noise level
is minimal, and they are displaying a high
level of respect to every aspect of your home,
I’d suggest the host worry about another
matter.”
Lew Bayer, president of Civility Experts
Worldwide, said that the appropriateness of
the sex depended on three things:
“First, how long you are staying? If it’s
one night, surely you can go without a little
nookie for 24 hours, whereas if you are
staying for a week—and maybe if you’re
newlyweds—the host might understand that
there could be some hanky-panky. Next,
where exactly are you staying? If you’re on
the living room floor on a blow-up mattress
and people have to walk through the living
room to get to the bathroom, or if you’re
in the guest room, which happens to be
right next to a child’s bedroom and the
walls are thin, best not to be indiscreet.
Finally, consider the friend. If he or she just
broke up with someone, or if he or she is an
ex of either you or your partner, it’s pretty
insensitive to make him or her endure your
20
I WILL EVEN LET YOU FUCK IN MY BED. NOT MY
COUCH. I WATCH GAME OF THRONES THERE.
happy romping. Or if the friend is someone
who is likely to talk about what he or she
might have seen or heard, you may want to
think twice before you get busy.”
Finally, international etiquette consultant,
Sharon Schweitzer, advised guests to “keep
your thong on!”
“Although getting hot and heavy with your
partner at a friend’s home is not appropriate,
it happens. Even if there is a lock on the door
and a TV or DVD player available, some
sounds are recognisable worldwide.”
Commenters also couldn’t come to an
agreement over sex as a guest. Tony Gunk
was scarred by his experience with his sisterin-law’s antics in the bedroom, saying that he
maintains that “if you have plans on screwing
during a visit, then get your own place.”
“Of course, I’m willing to admit that I
might just not want to ever hear my wife’s
sister having sex again, and that if it becomes
generally frowned upon to engage in coitus
while a guest in someone’s small apartment,
maybe next visit she won’t get it on next to
my kid’s legos and Ninja Turtles.”
On the other hand, Falconish First of
Her Name said that she didn’t mind what
guests got up to, so long as it stayed in the
bedroom. “I’m fine with that happening in
my spare bedroom I draw the line at common
spaces though. The only one fucking on my
couch is me and I don’t even do that...I will
even let you fuck in my bed. Not my couch. I
watch Game of Thrones there.”
A friend’s house is one thing, but getting
it on outdoors is literally a whole other
game. While the risk factor can up the ante,
it’s technically not entirely legal. According
to Section 125 of the Crimes Act, “every
one is liable to imprisonment for a term
not exceeding two years who willfully does
any indecent act in any place to which
the public have or are permitted to have
access, or within view of any such place.”
Furthermore, according to Section 125.3,
“the term place includes any railway carriage,
and also includes any ship, aircraft, or vehicle
used for the carriage of passengers for hire
or reward.” On the flip side, the Act also
states that grounds for defense include “if
the person charged proves that he or she
had reasonable grounds for believing that
he or she would not be observed.” As one
poster said on New Zealand’s Legal Research
website, “Legally it’s sort of a ‘if a tree falls in
the forest and no one hears it, did it make a
noise?’ thing.”
That being said, there are a few places
that public sex is better left to the bedroom.
Places like airplane bathrooms and movies are
not entirely recommended, purely because
employees are not paid nearly enough to
clean up afterwards. And for those thinking
of hooking up at RnV or other summer
festivals, the ladies at Real Talk Sex Advice
advise against it. “It is REALLY obvious if
someone is having sex near you, because a
tent is fabric, and has no sound proofing
capabilities....Tents are made of water
resistant t-shirt material. If you wouldn’t
fuck in a t-shirt and expect privacy, tents are
probably no bueno either.”
When it came to sex with exes, a
2008 Jezebel broached the question of just
when it was okay.
“The unofficial girl code says that you
shouldn’t fuck a friend’s ex, but what counts
as an ex? Do they have to have dated for a
period of time? Had sex? Is it when she’s still
emotionally attached, even if she’s attached
because they had two dates three years ago?
What’s the statute of limitations on it? How
do you even broach the subject?”
Again, commenters were divided between
it being a violation of girl code or a free for
all. Trixie from Toronto said “in general, it’s
just a bad idea,” adding that “it’s just way
too much information and awkwardness for
everyone involved.”
“The world is large – find someone whose
peen hasn’t been in your friend’s catbags.”
Oeditrix felt differently, saying “call me a
bitch, but I have done it and had it done to
me, and I don’t really see the problem.”
“If there were real feelings involved, it can
be hard; but if the new couple is legitimately
interested in one another, and if everyone
in the situation is tactful and considerate,
it’s selfish to enforce some stupid code over
the possibility of a good relationship.” They
added that “this is most often a problem
when the dating pool is small. In college,
we all hung out in the same circles and were
friends with the same set of guys, and that
meant a whole lot of sloppy seconds.”
Ex-sex that won’t violate any codes
however, is sex with one of your own exes.
But while this might save a few friendships, it
comes with its own host of complications.
However, luckily UK publication, Tatler,
came up with ten rules to make it slightly less
awkward. Rules included:
• “Ask for what you would never normally
dare ask for. Remember, you don’t care what
they think anymore.
• Don’t confuse this with reality; it might
FEATURE
21
as well be a dream, it is that relevant to your
life. And, like dreams, no one else will want
to hear about it.
• No more than twice. The whole concept
of the ‘fuckbuddy’ feels incredibly dated
these days, don’t you think?
• If you are mastering a new technique,
this is the perfect test bed.
• IT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING
and finally,
• Sign-off is hard. But we recommend the
following test: ‘That was hot. Over and out.’”
Honestly, sex can be hard, and awkward,
and all sorts of complicated. And really,
unless what you’re doing is straight up
illegal, there’s no right or wrong way to go
about it. In the end, the only things that
actually matter are that you be respectful, be
considerate, and be safe.
22
FEATURE
23
HOW TO CONQUER THE
SECOND-HAND MARKET
CARWYN WALSH EXPLORES SECOND-HAND LAND, BECAUSE AS STUDENTS, MOST OF US JUST
HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT OUR FINANCES CAN ONLY AFFORD US SLOPPY SECONDS.
The second-hand market has long been a
good friend to the humble student.
Second-hand goods and students go
together like peas and carrots – like
Malaysian airliners and the ocean.
Because I have been a student most of
my adult life, I have developed a keen
understanding of the market and how to
conduct yourself within it. I hate to brag,
but when it comes to the second-hand
market, this cowboy has a few notches on
the ol’ bedpost.
I have lovingly compiled a rough guide to
four separate areas of this market: furniture,
appliances, books, and clothing and attire.
Each of these markets provide their own
challenges. Luckily, I have been a wheeler
and dealer in all of them, so have many
handy titbits of advice for any budding
second-hand buyer.
Please read with an open heart and an
open mind. While some of the below advice
might sound a touch left-field, I swear by it
all, and guarantee results to those willing to
honestly apply it to every scenario.
FURNITURE
Beds and couches provide your home with
a real sense of order and stability. When
deciding upon the appropriate furniture for
your home, striking the balance between
price and elegance can be a real challenge.
Usually a decent couch is one of the first
items that flatmates seek when moving into
their new home. Unfortunately, due to
the couch being an iconic item of student
culture, the couch market is very much a
seller’s one. This means that competition
among students is often fierce.
Luckily, there is a cunning way out of
this wee conundrum. Charitable op-shops
are notoriously unprepared every year when
a flood of students descend on their stores,
eager to secure their flat a couch. More
often than not, they endeavour to clear their
stores of students and couches as quickly as
possible.
You and your flatmates can take advantage
of this fact with an orchestrated in-store sex
orgy on top of the couch you’re all after.
It’s a risky ploy, no doubt, but trust me on
this, it brings results. Not only does it clear
the store of rivals, you can also demand a
knock-down on your chosen couch for the
inevitable wear and tear an orgy causes.
Provided the sex is consensual and you
secure yourselves a good price, this cunning
little strategy is without fault. On top of
this, it’s also a great way to get to know
your flatmates better and, having all become
intimately connected, you can save money on
beds by all sharing the same one for the rest
of the year.
APPLIANCES
Getting your grubby mitts on some decent
appliances is another demanding task for all
flatters. Because most flats don’t come with
a cool-store, the most essential appliance is a
working fridge, to store all your milk, eggs,
and half-eaten cans of peaches.
Many students choose to rent a fridge for
the year. Take it from me, this is a mug’s
option. If you know what you’re doing, you
can secure yourself a worthy fridge for a very
reasonable price.
24
ONLY EVER OFFER CASH AND BE SURE TO TEASE
THE SELLER BY SEDUCTIVELY PLAYING WITH THE
ZIP ON YOUR BUM-BAG.
Second-hand fridge buying is usually
conducted one-on-one with the seller.
Automatically, this puts you on the back
foot as you will have to travel to the seller’s
turf to do business. The seller will attempt
to put you at ease by appearing friendly,
and engaging you in harmless small talk.
Ignore these overtures, most second-hand
fridge sellers only own a second fridge for the
storage of murder victims. Unless you want
to share this fate, concentrate solely on the
business at hand.
When handling the price negotiations,
always act as if you don’t really need the
fridge. A great way of doing this is by taking
along a lactating woman so the seller knows
you have another option for storing milk
products.
During the entire process carry your cash
in a highly visible bum-bag. This will show
the seller that you’re an experienced buyer of
second-hand goods. Play for keeps with all of
your offers. Only ever offer cash and be sure
to tease the seller by seductively playing with
the zip on your bum-bag.
Finally, arrange for some form of transport
to get the fridge back to your flat. This avoids
having to use the seller’s home for the rest of
the year. You can hire a trailer or, if you want
to save some more money, ask a fellow poor
student with a car if they’re keen for a cheeky
half an hours’ work.
BOOKS
Encouraging a serious and scholarly
atmosphere within your flat is a lot easier
if the place is packed to the rafters with a
generous selection of books. You can also
construct really good forts out of books.
Slowly accruing a collection of books can
take a lifetime. The best way to get books fast
is to buy in bulk. The best place to buy in
bulk is on the second-hand book sale circuit.
The second-hand book sale might conjure
up images of charitable goodwill and genteel
intellectualism within your minds. This, I’m
afraid, is far from the reality. Take it from
an old hand on the circuit, the second-hand
book sale is a competitive and unpredictable
free-for-all that nearly always descends into
an orgy of unhinged violence. The only
certainty I can take from my time on the
circuit is that blood will always wash off
eventually; guilt, shame, and disgust live with
you forever.
Second-hand books can sell at book-sales
for under half their street value. Sadly, this
fact breeds the sort of desperation that makes
violence inevitable. But if you’re still keen, I
can offer a few words of wisdom that should
get you through your first book-sale without
too much bother.
Firstly, whatever you do, stay well clear
of security. The hired muscle at these events
might look like the kind of sweet old people
that clean churches in their spare time, but as
soon as they slip on their high-visibility vests
they quickly forget their gammy hips and
arthritic joints, particularly during the cavity
search process.
Secondly, if you really don’t want any
trouble, stay away from the priced section.
This is where the cheapest books are and, on
the circuit, it is deservedly nicknamed ‘the
pit’.
Finally, remember why you are there.
You only want books for the image so hang
about the zones where numbers are low. The
hobbies section is always a safe bet. No-one
has ever died for a haberdashery book. Well,
not yet anyway.
CLOTHING AND ATTIRE
Being on a pauper’s budget doesn’t mean
that you cannot dress yourself like a finely
attired aristocrat. Second-hand clothing has
unfortunately become quite popular of late,
so you have to be on your toes to secure
dapper clobber at competitive prices.
Clothes shopping is also quite an
emotional experience. Reason can leave you,
so always shop with someone you know you
can trust. Even I have made my share of
errors on solo shopping expeditions. One
time, I left SaveMart with what I thought
was a rather tasteful pair of leopard-print
crotchless swimming trunks. It was only
when I returned home that I realised that
they were actually a rather run-down pair of
seamless and spotty y-fronts.
Moving on, don’t be afraid to ask after
the history of the clothes you’re purchasing.
A friend of mine swears that a pair of
legwarmers he bought were demonically
possessed. My friend now lives in an asylum
but the legwarmers remain at large.
If you’re truly skint, don’t be too proud
to try a spot of clothing-bin diving. You can
either hoist someone up or, alternatively,
drag the entire bin back to your flat. Empty
clothing bins are great for discreetly growing
cannabis and this can be sold off to bring
more money into the flat. If this isn’t kosher
with the flatties, you can always place the bin
against your house and rent it out as an extra
room.
FEATURE
25
26
27
28
29
30
SWEAT GLAND
NERVOUS SYSTEM
SKIN
WART GROWTH
UNTITLED 02
TAM KOGLER
We each walk a separate path in life,
allowing every sight, sound, and experience
to influence and shape our personality. These
unique differences affect the way we perceive
visual imagery. When viewing this series,
our brain begins to apply an individual
wealth of knowledge in an attempt to
decode information, as the subject matter
is unfamiliar. Since we interpret meaning
from our personal subconscious, someone
may have an entirely different experience to
another.
This photographic collection extends
beyond the naked eye, utilising microscopy
as a tool to create art beyond its scientific
function. Each image finds beauty in the
most indelicate of places through the
de-contextualisation of our most intimate
subject – the human body.
Tam is a fourth year design student
majoring in photography at Wellington’s
College of Creative Arts. To view more of
this series, or any of her recent projects visit
her website at tamkoglerphotography.com
Attributions - Jim Clarke - Margaret
Alison (College of Science, Wellington).
Photographs taken on a Canon Mk2,
50mm Lens. Using a Olympus CKX41
Microscope.
REVIEWS
31
MONTHLY MUSIC ROUND UP
PAUL BERRINGTON
THE INTERNET – EGO DEATH (ODD FUTURE)
Over the years, acts associated with the Odd
Future crew have courted much controversy.
Yet they have also delivered some tremendous
music and challenging genre rules, giving us
classic albums such as Frank Ocean’s Channel
Orange and Tyler the Creator’s Goblin.
Now, the crew’s soul collective and backing
band for live shows, The Internet, have
released arguably their defining album - a
beautifully arranged alternative R&B record
that showcases Syd the Kyd’s songwriting
and some fantastic playing by the group.
Moving on from the fun but often unfocused
sound of previous album, Feel Good, this
latest effort is incredibly tight and full of
great songs. ‘Something’s Missing’ offers
smooth harmonies over future soul, while the
provocative lyrics of ‘Just Sayin/I Tried’ show
how far Syd has come as a songwriter. Another
fantastic addition to what has been a great year
for soulful R&B, this is a modern classic in the
making.
EYELINER – BUY NOW (BEER ON THE RUG)
Apparently an injury while performing as
Disasteradio caused Wellington’s Luke Rowell
to focus on his Eyeliner project. Here, he
blends dreamy synth-based boogie with an
array of odd samples and a glimmer of irony,
which seems more focused than ever on his
latest release, the wonderfully colourful Buy
Now. Built upon a sound palette firmly rooted
in the 80s, Eyeliner’s music sounds like Art
of Noise doing the soundtrack for a John
Hughes movie, yet deceptively it’s never quite
that cheesy. Rowell’s ability to draw you into
his music is incredibly skilful. Firstly, they’re
often great songs, built upon intricate rhythms,
and washed over with dreamy chords and flute
samples, and often accompanied by Seinfieldstyle basslines. Rowell himself calls it “rooted
in vapourwave”, yet it kind of sounds like a
cross between Andras Fox and the modern funk
of Sasac and Sven Atterton. Songs like ‘High
Heels’ and ‘Toy Dog’ can’t help but bring
a smile to your face. Overall this is another
talented Wellington-based producer making
some exceptionally original electronic music.
DENZEL CURRY – 32 ZEL/PLANET SHROOMS (C9)
South Florida rapper Denzel Curry often
gets lumped with the angry Denzel or trippy
Denzel tag, and this double EP follow-up to
2013’s Nostalgic 64 sets him firmly in the
trippy zone. This makes 32 Zel/Planet Shrooms
a great listen, and a new stoner classic in the
making. It comes across as a friendlier A$AP
Ferg, lacking lyrical sophistication, but making
up for it with a whole lot of character and
some great phrasing. Complete with a classic
Southern flow – think early Outkast – Curry
pushes his own talents here, offering a stream of
consciousness raps that wind their way around
lo-fi trap beats, washed over with just enough
weirdo fuzz. Standout cuts ‘Ultimate’, ‘Chief
Forever’, and ‘Lord Vader Kush II’ showcase
an energetic and focused Curry - the anger still
there, but matched to a new found love for
the ironies of life. Overall, it’s a more mature
record from a quite outstanding talent, boding
well for Curry’s ongoing career.oddity that
manages to hold your attention throughout.
TAME IMPALA – CURRENTS (INTERSCOPE)
With album number three, Perth band Tame
Impala continue to refine their take on
psychedelic rock, the fuzzy disco influenced
sound of Lonerism pushed even further out,
resulting in their best work yet. The result is
a vivid collection of songs that capture lead
singer Kevin Parker’s melancholy musings
on life perfectly. Given the critical acclaim
heaped upon the band, you’d forgive them
for settling in routine and familiarity here.
Currents, however, is an album that sounds
energetic, even if still washed over with reverb
and delay, the incredibly precise production
and impeccably crafted songs make this a work
to get lost in. Repeated listens show just how
intricate the album is, and many have compared
the album to the likes of Radiohead’s Kid A
or Wilco’s Yankee Hotel Foxtrot - high praise
but completely relevant, with Parker’s ear for
production values matched by talent with
melody and lyrics. The dreamy brilliance of
songs like ‘Yes I’m Changing’ and ‘Cause I’m
a Man’ is matched by more uptempo cuts like
‘The Less I Know the Better’. Overall Currents is
an album you’re likely to press the repeat button
on as soon as it’s finished, put the headphones
on and get lost in.
32
JAUJA (2014)
PAUL BERRINGTON
Disguised as some sort of adventure film,
Argentine director Lisandro Alonso’s Jauja is
a period drama like no other, following the
quest of a Danish engineer, as he tracks his
daughter through the bizarre landscapes of
Patagonia.
On a Patagonian beach in the late
1880s, a Danish engineer, Captain Gunnar
Dinesen (Viggo Mortensen), and a group
of Argentinean officers plan an exploration
to claim new territories for the state. At his
side is daughter Ingeborg (Viilbjørk Malling
Agger), the only woman in a barren wind
swept land, who as to be expected captures
the attention of her male companions. When
Ingeborg elopes with a soldier during the
middle of a wintry night, Dinesen against the
advice of the officers, decides to head off in
search of her on his own. Yet as the journey
becomes more and more bizarre, not only are
his hopes of finding his daughter fading, but
his own sanity is put at risk. Once his horse
is stolen by Indians things turn even stranger,
as a solitary dog leads him to a woman living
alone in a cave, and his motivations become
obscured from his need to survive.
Don’t expect to come to any simple
conclusions about Alonso’s (Los
Muertos, Freedom) enigmatically surreal film.
In a way the movie’s enjoyment comes from
its lack of predictability, placed somewhere
between a postmodern Western and all out
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career options
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engineering
experimentation, so the less you know, the
more you’re likely to enjoy it. Using the
Patagonian landscape as a central character,
the director and cinematographer Timo
Salminen draw us deeper into the simple
plot with every frame; the extraordinary
beauty matched with the cold loneliness of
the central protagonist. As his hopelessness
surrounds him, we are lead along through
his dreamlike journey. As the film moves
towards a beguiling final act, Dinesen’s
surroundings begin to overwhelm him,
any resolution out of reach, his quest
becoming more introspective with every
scene. Mortensen is the perfect choice for
the role, his austerity crumbling along with
the fading hope of seeing his daughter alive
again, in a part that wouldn’t be out of place
in a Pier Paolo Pasolini or Bruno Dumont
film.
While Jauja – which translates to milk
and honey – will frustrate anybody seeking
an adventure film that resolves itself clearly,
the wonderfully strange atmosphere the
movie possesses is intoxicating if you let
it, getting under your skin and in classic
surrealist tradition never elaborating on its
secrets. Alonso’s methods certainly provoke
conversation, and this masterful film could
have any number of meanings for different
viewers.
MAD MAX: FURY ROAD (2015)
DIRECTOR: LISANDRO ALONSO
STARRING: VIGGO MORTENSEN,
VIILBJØRK MALLING AGGER,
AND GHITA NØRBY Study towards a postgraduate qualification at UC!
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Bioengineering
ChemicalandProcessEngineering
CivilEngineering
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SEX TOY REVIEW:
VIBRATING COCK RING
REVIEWS
33
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MALE
I’m a horny man, who loves sex and loves
trying new things; so naturally, I jumped at
the chance to trial the vibrating cock ring.
Looking at the cock ring, I didn’t feel
intimidated at all. It looked like the kind of
gadget that you might find inside an R16
Kinder Surprise.
I did, however, feel a little squirmish at the
idea of wrapping this toy around my willy.
I’m aware that the point of a cock ring is
to make the dick stay harder, better, faster,
stronger, for longer. I must admit though,
that I was a little scared that my member
would lose circulation and fall off.
Thankfully, my fears did not become
a reality. With lube, the ring slipped on
with ease. My dick went rock hard almost
immediately, rising like a military member
reporting to attention – a few cheeky veins
even popped up to say hello. And, I still have
a complete penis with normal blood flow
(great success).
I must say though, that I don’t know
if the cock ring is for me. I found it to be
quite restrictive, the battery pack meaning I
couldn’t plunge to the depths that I would’ve
liked to.
Another annoyance was the loudness of
the vibration, which was enhanced when
sandwiched between our bodies. The noise
reminded me of an old Nokia phone, and I
thought I might’ve been better off putting
one of those bad boys down there.
I can see how this gadget would be great
if you couldn’t keep an erection for long
(throwback to a very drunk me last month),
but I think, due to its restrictive nature, I
would give it a 2.5/5. I mean I wouldn’t pay
huge dollars for it, but I would be pretty
happy if I got it in a Kinder Surprise.
FEMALE
MALE
I felt turned on as soon as I held it, and felt
the intense vibrations of the cock ring. All I
could think of was how well it would get on
with my clitoris. After a busy day of thinking
about using the device, I pounced on my
man as soon as he walked through the front
door – dinner could wait, I thought.
I was a little disappointed though. It
tickled my clit occasionally, depending on
what position we were in, but it wasn’t as
pleasant as I’d hoped.
I have used dildos before, so I do find
vibrations really fun, but I found the
vibration here was almost too aggressive. I
may just be sensitive, so I assume it would be
like way better for those who like it rough.
Despite this, my man’s cock stayed very, very
hard, so it was obviously doing something
right.
The next night, while he was out, I
experimented with the vibration on my
own. I have to say, when I had full control
of its tempo and pressure, it was a lot more
enjoyable #versatile. All in all, I’d give it
about a 3/5.
When I first saw the product it was more
or less what I expected, but when I actually
turned it on, holy f**k – I was certain this
thing was going to rip my penis clean off my
body. Almost needless to say my girlfriend
loved the rather intense vibrations, but in
terms of my own experience it wasn’t quite
what I expected.
I was told by a mate that they’re designed
to make the guy last longer, which without
sounding like I’m bragging, has never really
been an issue for me. As soon as I put it on
everything felt less sensitive which inevitably
lead to my dick deflating faster than my air
mattress at R&V.
Although it didn’t do a lot for me as a guy,
it doesn’t mean your lady should miss out
on the goodness. For some epic foreplay do
what you usually do to get started (whether
it’s with your mouth or hands) hold it lightly
on her clit and you just light that bitch up
– lovingly of course. I promise she won’t be
complaining.
If you are going to use it with flatmates
within close vicinity, put some music on for
good measure, don’t be that couple. Sex toy
etiquette: super simple stuff.
Overall, I’d give the cock ring a cheeky
3.5/5, but my girlfriend definitely rates it
higher.
These reviews are subjective to the user. If
you want to try out the vibrating cock ring,
or any other sex toy products, check out
https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/ for a wide
range of exciting and affordable products!
34
WHEN WE FLEW
We flew —
stealing segments of the night
on someone’s SLR,
they’re making a stop motion
about ergonomics.
We drove up that street last
week, and for a small, sharp,
second, I was nineteen again.
And we flew —
Nineteen on Salamanca Road and
we flew.
We flew —
fur-jacketed moths in the night.
Clusterfuls of us
on borrowed boards and
temporary clothes.
We flew —
durries in our fingers,
threading the air with the others
as we leaned out to catch the night,
as the night flashed past.
The rush of it all.
We flew -—
nicotine and cider straight
to the head. Concrete straight
to the knees. Through the jeans,
a heady graze. Sliding gloves
we welded in the workshop
in between classes. Slicing
semi-circles onto the curb
as we fell.
We flew —
watching our breaths cut shapes
in the July night, stinging hot
from the kick push.
On someone else’s board in
someone else’s T-shirt, our own
weren’t quite cool yet.
Annabel Hawkins
REVIEWS
35
THIS MUST BE THE PLACE
SASHA BORISSENKO BELIEVES THAT
THIS MUST BE THE PLACE IS A THING OF
WHIMSY.
The poetic musings of the former Massey
University student is a delightful articulation
of the life and times of a young twentysomething trying to get by in the big smoke.
You can expect to find the inner workings
of the Wellington belle who laments about
love, escaping to the beach, “bags bursting
with Briscoes bargains” and her disdain for
Valentine’s Day.
While the Lena Dunhams of the world will
indeed be attracted to Bel’s down-to-earth
and what seems to be familiar writing style,
there’s nothing #ontrend about it. It’s fresh!
It’s ethereal! Oh and her command of the
English language! That turn of phrase, that
grammar, and that command of tenses. I’m
gushing. It can’t be helped. We could be
friends, even.
I’m not a fan of poetry generally because
I have a deep-rooted FOMO over the
high-brow rules and regulations regarding
syntax and rhythm. Seriously, I don’t get
it. Philistinism aside, what’s so beautiful
about this book of poetry is that it reads like
a book - as unpretentious and charming as
happily consuming a cup of instant in the
morning and refusing all but a cup of v60
in the afternoon. I guess what I’m trying to
say is that only 20 pages deep did I realise
I had soon finished the pink little number.
What’s more, you come out of it thinking
there could be merit in describing the
choreography and bourgeois hipster-ness of
smoking menthol durries. Just the audacity
of it!
And although I’ve already waxed lyrical
about her depictions of love and love lost,
there’s nothing anti-feminist about the
book. She articulately describes her intrigues
with almost a voyeuristic quality. There’s a
certain charm and light-heartedness to her
heartbreak that seems, again, relatable!
Before I start to bark on about how
this is but the first of what will surely be a
fantastic writing career ahead of the media
darling, notable mention must be awarded
to her partner in crime, Alice Clifford, who
completed the design of This Must be the
Place. The negative space, the delicate and
hazy nature of the photographs and simple
yet stylish typesetting is well, delicious. And
before I salivate any longer, I leave you with a
quote from the book’s publisher, Wellingtonbased Makaro Press:
“This must be the place is a rich
collaboration between two Wellington
friends: Annabel who wrote the words and
her friend Alice who designed the place to
put them in.”
Pop over to the previous page for
a sneak peak of This Must be the
Place.
THIS MUST BE THE PLACE
AUTHOR: ANNABEL HAWKINS
36
WAIPUKURAU: TOWN OF
FOUR THOUSAND SMILES
CARWYN WALSH
Waipukurau is one of those rare country
towns that still sport the heavy musk of old
New Zealand.
Set against the slow gurgle of the Tukituki
River and the awesome expanse of the
Ruahine Range, Waipukurau is a charming
location that more than lives up to its
reputation as the Venice of Central Hawke’s
Bay.
Founded sometime in the 19th Century,
Waipukurau got off to rough start when it
was crippled by a devastating earthquake in
1862. Cynics maintain that the recovery is
still ongoing.
However, despite what the cynics might
say, Waipukurau is a thriving wee town of
roughly 4000 inhabitants that boasts its
very own train station, a Subway restaurant,
Countdown supermarket and two public
toilet facilities.
These public toilets are a tremendous
asset to the local community and rival those
of the great cities of Europe. Combining
quiet elegance with generous toilet paper
allotments, both of these amenities have
attracted many a weary traveller down
the years – something that has caused
Waipukurau to become the envy of the
region. However, owing to both my sex and
fine reputation, I cannot, in good conscience,
give an educated appraisal of the ladies
section of these celebrated lavatories. I’ve
only ever caught a fleeting glimpse of their
interior and, rather unfortunately, my view
was hampered by both the night and the
surrounding bushes.
Moving on, another fantastic asset of
Waipukurau is its many local residents.
These locals are more than friendly and, for
the most part, go out of their way to make
you feel welcome and at ease. Small town
folk have long been renowned as charming
conversationalists and the good people of
Waipukurau take great pride in their ability
to hold down a fair yarn. In my many
visits I’ve had conversations on just about
everything imaginable – neck-braces, spades,
and grass seem to three topics that are always
warmly welcomed.
For such a small town, Waipukurau is
surprisingly diverse in ethnic terms. It has
a pretty even spread of Pākehā, Pasifika
and Māori peoples. It even has its very own
Chinese family who, despite facing initial
prejudice, have assimilated remarkably
well into the local community. As of 2010,
the Wang family has even been allowed to
vote in local body elections and, if current
momentum continues, may soon be allowed
to own their own property and pets.
A new feature of Waipukurau is the
newly constructed walkway that links it to
the nearby town of Waipawa. As I write,
only half of this track is actually completed;
but, nonetheless, what there is of it looks
pretty good. The section of the track that
has been sealed with limesand takes you
alongside the Tukituki River and deep into
the neighbouring countryside. Scenic and
isolated, the new walkway is a perfect spot for
newly courting couples and people who own
binoculars.
The best day of the week in Waipukurau
is undoubtedly Saturday. This day brings the
town out of its weekly slumber and its main
commercial space, centred on Ruataniwha
Street, comes to life with the hustle and
bustle of passing travellers and local
merchants selling their wares. Townspeople
are seen taking the air, catching up on local
gossip and munching on one of the famous,
award-winning pies available at Antkor Wat
Bakery and Coffee Shop. If they are feeling
particularly flash, they may even make a
reservation at the local Breakers Restaurant –
as seen on Masterchef.
However, if the Saturday happens to
fall in the same week as a full moon, the
townspeople of Waipukurau grow restless.
The full moon stirs the nearby rural
community into a wild frenzy and they
descend upon the town hungry for activity.
Owing to the country people’s coarse ways,
poor grasp of English and sparse knowledge
of the road rules, locals usually keep a safe
distance and often take refuge in the town’s
library and wait there for the local priest to
arrive. Some bold locals have been known
to chase the rurals away with Labour Party
pamphlets and shiny objects. Otherwise, they
have to hunker down and wait for the town’s
livestock feed and moleskin trouser supply
to become exhausted. Only then is it safe
enough to re-emerge.
The one day a year when town meets
country in perfect communion is during the
annual Running of Lambs festival, held every
September. During this event, real-life sheep
are run down Ruataniwha Street and through
the drive-through of the Subway restaurant,
where they are then slaughtered. After this,
huge bon-fires are lit and the animals are
slowly cooked on multiple spits.
Rather sadly, given all it has to offer, this
event is one of the few times in the year when
tourists flock to Waipukurau. Mostly, people
only stop by if they are lost or if they are
disposing of a body.
A town of roughly four thousand smiles,
Waipukurau is a rare diamond of a place
that is waiting for you to give it a chance to
work its magic. Give it some time and it will
capture, perhaps not your imagination, but
certainly your heart.
LOCAL TRAVEL
37
38
MAX KEY LOVES
HIS BUNNY
Vomit. Max Key’s Instagram account
is a thing made of nightmares. On a side
note, there’s nothing worse than being
32 weeks deep into someone’s Instagram
account and accidentally doing the double
tap of horrors. Not to worry though, we were
very careful in this circumstance.
Digression aside, New Zealand was
fortunate enough to be graced with the news
that Max Key, together with his “bunny” yes he calls his bae, model Amelia Finlayson,
“bunny” *feminists gag the world over* and the rest of his political family, went on
holiday to Hawaii this month. *snore* In
an Instagram post where Key Jr promised to
“drop” (he’s in a band, duh) a video of their
misadventures, it was there that speculation
ensued that the loved-up teens got engaged.
But, as Rep Chic managed to get through
the four minutes and 27 seconds of beaches,
pashing, and privilege without barfing, there
was nothing in the footage to suggest there
could be wedding bells in the near future.
Michael Daly reported that Max Key,
who turned 20 in May, is frequently shown
shirtless, with Finlayson often in a bikini.
“Titled Max Key & Amelia Finlayson in
Summer Paradise the four minutes and 27
seconds of footage is described on YouTube
as: “A journey into myself and Amelia’s
teenage years.
“The video shows two young people very
happy in each other’s company, but doesn’t
suggest they made it official with a proposal
while on holiday in Hawaii.
“So it remains unclear whether Max was
just kidding when he posted a proposal-like
Instagram pic a few days ago of himself and
Finlayson sharing a tender moment on top of
a Hawaiian volcano.
“Maybe the intense double hand hold
in the picture was all just a bit of mutual
admiration.”
At the end of the day what we did learn
is that we really ought to, really really, add
Maxelia (move over Kimye) on Instagram.
We get it. We also got a whiff of the type
of ritzy lifestyle “our mate John” really has.
Where’s that relatable image, we must ask? Sour grapes aside (help me, I’m poor),
questions have been raised that Max’s lifestyle
might be seen as a liability for his dad who
famously grew up in a state house and
married his high-school sweetheart, Bronagh
Key.
“Key’s always been seen as a regular bloke,
and regardless of his super wealth, he is.
But perhaps he should have a word to his
son Max who’s been with the family at their
Hawaiian hideaway over the past couple of
weeks, along with his model girlfriend who’s
soon to become a Miss Auckland contestant,
we’re told.
“There was romantic Max standing in a
bachelor pose on a long since dormant lava
flow, and frolicking on the beach, with the
girlfriend who cooed on social media about
him bringing her to paradise, no doubt
thanks to his dad’s chequebook.
“Now that isn’t the privilege of the vast
majority 20-year-old’s who are struggling to
make ends meet in this country.
“It’s not an image that should be flaunted
when the number of homeless here is
growing and when the economy is beginning
to waiver, and it’s not the image that Key’s so
carefully cultivated.
“And that’s not the politics of envy, it’s the
politics of the reality of staying in office!”
Nuff said.
REPRESENTATIVE CHIC
39
40
CHARLOTTE
ROYALE CAKE
SASHA BORISSENKO
Anyway, the recipe traditionally calls for
sponge and custard made-from-scratch but
hell, this girl’s got things to do. So instead,
the unashamed improviser that I am, I
popped over to le supermarche and decided
to do the unthinkable and buy el-cheapo
sponge and custard, replace actual berries
with the leftover jam (I have about $10 to my
name - could be due to that stupid ice cream
lamp I purchased while in Japan), and finally,
replace creme de classes with the gin dregs in
my cupboard. Blasphemy, I know! Hey, I’m
a food-enthusiast, not an expert. Next I’ll
be doing posts about eggs on toast (oh wait,
done that) or better yet, just toast! Best to
keep my options open I say. Also, by aiming
low there’s only one way to go and that’s up,
amIright?
I might err on the viva la republic-side of
the monarchy spectrum, but because I have
a handful of friends named Charlotte and
the most recent member of the English royal
family celebrated a christening, a Charlotte
Royale Cake recipe seemed fitting.
INGREDIENTS
Two slabs of pre-made sponge cake
One jar of jam
Nine leaves of gelatin
*vegetarians sob the world over*
Standard carton of custard
2 T gin/sherry/cointreau/whatever
450 ml of cream
Spread any variety of jam over your
slabs of sponge cake. Roll the jam-riddled
sponge so that it looks like a standard log
cake before dicing thin 2cm slices. Place the
pin-wheel-esque pieces along the bottom of
a very well greased tart dish and stack tightly
(otherwise you will have a disaster on your
hands, believe you me). Meanwhile, whip the
cream and set aside, heat the custard either
in a microwave or on a stove, and soak the
gelatine in a separate bowl until soft. Add
four blobs (tablespoons, if you will) of jam
and the gin with the soaked (and drained)
gelatin. Add the two mixtures together, along
with the whisked cream and pour over the
pinwheel bonanza. Pop the dish into the
fridge and leave overnight. Done.
BASIC
BRUSCHETTA
SASHA BORISSENKO
INGREDIENTS
One baguette
Six fresh and deliciously
ripe tomatoes
Fresh basil
Olive oil – plenty of it.
Parmesan
Garlic
One red onion
Balsamic vinegar
Salt – the coarser the better, I say.
Following a hilarious conversation
with a friend over whether Italian cuisine
was favourable to its French counterpart
(croissants mate) it felt completely
appropriate to feature bruschetta for this
month’s food blog.
Dice the tomatoes, garlic, basil, and onion,
and combine in a bowl with a few splashes
of olive oil – yum. Using a bread knife, cut
generously-sized pieces of your baguette and
lay on a baking tray. Brush/splash/spread the
oil over the bread pieces before adding the
tomato mixture. Biff in the oven for about
10 minutes. To serve, add parmesan, salt,
and balsamic vinegar. Perfection. Some cook
the tomatoes beforehand – I prefer a raw
bruschetta of sorts #diva.
FOOD BLOG
41
42
UNI MUM
43
UNI MUM
I am your surrogate Uni Mum (“I’m not
a regular mum, I’m a cool mum”) here to
offer sound advice (and virtual hugs) about
anything to do with university life. From
the flatmate who steals your clothes, to
the test you will cheat on, to your cunning
plans to bang that babe down the hallway,
and everything in between. If you have an
issue you would like me to cover, just flick
me an email (editor@massivemagazine.org.
nz) and I will be sure to write about it next
month.
DEALING WITH THE DIFFICULT FLATMATE
We’ve all had one, or in some cases, been
one; terrible, ill-behaved and lazy flatmates
can be the worst. From the person who
makes sure the whole neighbourhood hears
them when they are getting intimate, to the
one who just used your towel, the heavy
partier, the twenty minute shower-er, the
name and measure everything in the fridgeer, or the passive aggressive note leaver,
living with a range of different personalities
from different backgrounds can be a test of
endurance and self-control at the best of
times.
Flatmate horror stories are like bragging
rights. We all wear them like battle scars;
ripping them out over drinks at the pub, as
if there’s some sort of award for the most
disgusting, horrendous, or horrifying. In our
judgements, do we ever think about what
type of flatmate we were? Not really, because
our morals are second nature to us, our habits
are personal, and the way we do things could
never, ever be wrong. Of course, some are
far more disgusting than others, while there
are those people who appear to be outright
clueless as to how to live without a primary
caregiver. Flatmates come in all forms, and
to be completely honest with you, none of us
are perfect.
The biggest challenge for me when I began
flatting was finally realising that people who
I was close friends with were actually brought
up so differently to me. I was dumbstruck
how we could be such good friends and have
so little of our everyday habits in common.
I once watched a friend use the floor mop
to clean our toilet. While I tried my hardest
to not overly offend him, so I wouldn’t turn
him off cleaning forever, I did quietly buy a
new mop head on the flat account. But then
again, I know that during one of my very
intense #fitspo moments, this same friend
would lie in bed, and guess what piece of
vegetable I was putting into the juicer at
5:30am. Sure, he may be clueless about how
to clean, but I sure was pretty selfish.
The most difficult type of flatmate is the
one that absolutely sucks at life, but is a
genuine and friendly person; these are the
people that you just cannot tell off or kick
out. A friend of mine was telling me about
her flatmate who dropped a whole meat
casserole, before freaking out, and walking
off, leaving her (a vegan) to clean up after
him. The same flatmate was asked to take
the rubbish out, and left the bag sitting next
to the bin in the middle of the driveway.
Nevertheless, my friend still said to me “I
loved him, he was a cool dude, but my god,
he was an idiot” so to defend his honour. She
never once hit him up about his behaviour
either, however I think he got the message
when she accidentally sent him a fuming text
that was meant for her boyfriend.
So how do you deal with difficult
flatmates? I guess sometimes it’s just best to
let things go… or, if it is getting too much,
grow a spine and bring it up with them.
If that doesn’t go well, there is always the
option of finding a new place to live.
Got a flatmate horror story? Send it in to
us at editor@massivemagazine.org.nz
44
ASK GURU
I’VE FOUND MYSELF HAVING SOME UNUSUAL
FANTASIES LATELY. MY PARTNER IS QUITE
SHY THOUGH, AND WE HAVEN’T BEEN
OVERLY ADVENTUROUS WITH OUR SEXUAL
ENDEAVOURS AS OF YET (MISSIONARY IS
STANDARD FOR US). HOW DO I TELL MY
PARTNER ABOUT MY FANTASIES SO THAT
THEY CAN BECOME A REALITY?
We often tend to let our relationships
get stale. I’m not saying missionary is a
stale position – shit, you can do heaps of
variations to hit all these different little spots
that’ll make you both scream with pleasure,
and you’ll also be stretching your muscles at
the same time #fitsposex, so it’s a win-win
position. It’s something that the majority of
the population in monogamous relationships
can’t avoid. But the good news is that you
can easily spice up your relationship and
gently ease your partner into an adventurous
sex life.
As we have been taught all our life, honesty
is the best policy – so muster up some
courage and ask your partner to be part of
your fantasies, whether they are two minute
quick-fucks in a public toilet, or having them
dress up as your favourite cartoon character.
It’s key to be honest: tell them that you
are finding your sex together a bit dry, and
frame the conversation to be about them. Say
something along the lines of below:
“So, you like having sex with me and I like
having sex with you. It’s fun and cool, but
could be better. What turns you on – what
are your fantasies? Do you like it when I play
with your something and you touch me on
my something?”
Find out about your partner and their
desires – you may be surprised. They might
have fantasies that are more hardcore and
sexier than yours (that’s a good thing of
course) and you could then become the
power couple of all things fantasy and
adventurous. You could be idolised by the
generations to come as the couple that is the
sexual version of Bear Grylls – where the sky
is the limit and adventure and extremeness
is what you eat for breakfast, including urine
drinking and animal carcass wearing (I’m
getting so hot and sweaty just writing this).
So take your time, and really plan out how
you want to say it. Make sure that they are
comfortable and watch the way they react
when you tell them your fantasies. You don’t
want to scare them off, and you don’t want
to pressure them into something they don’t
want to do either. Maybe start off with the
least adventurous/kinky ones, like holding
hands in public or nipple rubbing, and see
how they react to those. If it’s a positive ‘cando’ attitude that they respond with, why not
table your other fantasies too.
Just remember that it’s up to them whether
they want to be part of it, so give them time
and space, and in no time you could be
banging everywhere and doing all this crazy
adventurous shit. If your partner isn’t keen,
have no fear; just do the kinky/adventurous
shit to yourself.
I’M KEEN FOR A THREESOME WITH MY
BOYFRIEND AND ANOTHER GIRL, BUT I DON’T
KNOW HOW TO INITIATE IT, AND WHAT THE
PROTOCOL IS. HELP ME GURU!
Go you for wanting to have a threesome.
Introducing someone else to one of the most
intimate things that you and your partner do
is a bold and brave step, but no doubt it’ll
spice things up.
If you have a girlfriend in mind, and
they’re keen, then all you’ll need to do is
suggest the idea to your boyfriend. It might
seem scary at first, especially bringing up
your plan, but it can be easily done. Trust
me. One idea is to have sex with your
boyfriend, and suggest it halfway through.
Something along the lines of, “Oh *insert
boyfriend name*, you’re amazing. I want
you to share your amazing-ness with *insert
girlfriend name*. Are you keen to add her to
the mix?”
Depending on the type of boyfriend you
have will determine the type of answer he
gives. Fingers crossed he goes, “Oh my,
thank you for complimenting me on the way
I do sex. Of course it’s fine to invite her over.
Let’s all have sex and stuff.”
If your boyfriend isn’t keen on the
threesome, don’t force it. But if you get his
backing, then you can start the planning. So
go down to Warehouse Stationary and buy a
planner – cause girl, you gotta plan for this
shit.
You have a lot of different options to
choose from, whether you do the deed at
your own house or book a hotel room for
45
SA
the night, just remember that the entire
act is new to you all, so you need to ensure
everybody involved is comfortable in their
surroundings. You need to decide if you want
to involve toys, what linen will be on the
bed, and whether you wear your comfortable
undies or your sexy ones.
If it were Guru, I’d be booking out a hotel
room, cracking open a bottle of champagne,
lighting some candles, and putting on some
Barry White to set the mood. If you decide to
have the threesome at your own house there
could be a possibility that your bedroom
will become associated with the act of three
people having sex, which could make future
sex between you and your boyfriend a little
bit weird.
Either way, when it happens, make sure
everybody is feeling comfortable. Start with
some light massaging, learning and studying
the bodies of the two people you will soon
be fucking. Be gentle, kiss softly, and pay
attention to all holes.
It’ll be a wild night regardless of what
happens, and Guru is sure all parties involved
will want to come back for seconds. Just make
sure that everybody is wearing protection (say
no to STI’s) and everybody’s private parts are
nice and clean. Submit your juicy questions to Guru by
visiting massivemagazine.org.nz and searching
‘Ask Guru’.
Although Guru is wise, and extremely
good looking, he is not an expert. If you are
after serious advice regarding sex and/or
relationships, please consult a professional.
TIR
ICA
L
46
BLACK
The colour of celebration
of the smudges around my eyes
from nights that never ended
the taste of Timmy’s burnt birthday cookies
the colour of a life well-read.
Black is an unfinished thought
a creature of habit
the colour of my cage
and of the human condition,
it is primal
and it is feared.
Noir, pango, schwarz
the colour of possibility
of persecution
and of change.
Black – it is the absence of colour
and still it has a fullness
that is unnervingly familiar
it is a part of me
and a part of you.
It is the boniest truth
the colour that mirrors you
the grittiest part of your soul
it is the whispers I hear
and the nature of lies.
The colour that provokes
the colour of life
the colour of sin
and yet not a colour at all.
Black is my shadow
your burden
our raison d’être
black is made of us.
BY MIKKI SCHOLTENS
47
HOW YOU
DOIN’?
10. Where was Friends lacated in the states?
A. Chicago
B. New York
C. California
SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT WHAT ARE THEY ______ YOU?
SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT...
THEY WON’T TAKE YOU TO THE ___.
YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY NOT THEIR FAVORITE PET.
YOU MAY NOT BE A ___ OF ROSES,
AND YOU’RE NO FRIEND TO THOSE WITH NOSES.
SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING YOU?
SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT IT’S NOT YOUR _____!
7. C
6. B
5. C
4. C
3. A
2. A
1. B
4. Who or what was Rosita?
A. The name Chandler gave the fooseball
table
B. The angry lady in the laundromat
C. Joey’s reclining chair
7. What is Ugly Naked Guys real name?
A. Fun Bobby
B. Paolo
C. Remains unknown
9. How many sisters does Joey have?
A. 6
B. 7
C. 8
8. A
3. Joey was cast as the butt double of which
Hollywood star?
A. Al Pachino
B. Brad Pitt
C. Robert De Niro
6. Why didn’t Phoebe fly to London for Ross’
wedding?
A. She was convicted for cannabis possession
B. She was pregnant with he brother Frank’s
surrogate triplets
C. She was locked in Central Perk for two
nights
8. Who did Phoebe mug when she was 14 living
on the streets?
A. Ross
B. Chandler
C. Joey
9. B
2. Which band sang the Friends theme song?
A. The Rembrandts
B. REM
C. Hootie and the Blowfish
5. What was the name Phoebe frequently used
when pretending to be someone else?
A. Princess Consuela Bananahammock
B. Helena Handbasket
C. Regina Phalange
10. B
1. Who Peed on Monicas jellyfish sting?
A. Joey
B. Chandler
C. Phoebe
48
CONTACT US
Editor
Kim Parkinson (04) 801 5799 ext. 63765
editor@massivemagazine.org.nz
Design and Layout
Sarah Donnison, www.behance.net/sarahdonnisonc65c sarah-donnison@hotmail.com
Advertising, Marketing, and MAWSA
Association
Manager James Collings (04) 801 5799
ext. 63763 manager@mawsa.org.nz
Campus Reporters
Auckland
Julia Braybrook:
juliabraybrook@gmail.com
Manawatu
Carwyn Walsh: carwynwalsh@gmail.com
Wellington
Kim Parkinson: editor@massivemagazine.
org.nz
Contributors
Julia Braybrook, Carwyn Walsh, Sasha
Borissenko, Paul Berrington, Rachel Purdie,
Annabel Hawkins, Uni Mum, Rep Chic,
Guru.
Image Credits
Front and back cover Sarah Donnison
www.behance.net/sarah-donnisonc65c sarahdonnison@hotmail.com, Editorial Te Hana
Goodyer www.hanateh.com, 3D printing
feature Elliot Gonzales 3lliotgonzales@
gmail.com, Second-hand feature Anton
Burian anton@0800phantom.co.nz
Sex feature Pip Alfeld phillipaalfeld@
gmail.com, Photo feature Tam Kogler
tamkoglerphotography.com, Uni Mum Te
Hana Goodyer www.hanateh.com, Ask
Guru Brad Smit brdsmt.tumblr.com, email
bradley.smit@live.com
Publisher
massivemagazine.org.nz
ISSN 2253-5918 (Print) ISSN 2253-5926
(Online)
This publication uses vegetable based inks
and environmentally responsible papers. The
document is printed throughout on SUMO
Laser, which is FSC® certified and from
responsible forests, manufactured under
ISO14001 Environmental Management
Systems. MASSIVE magazine is committed
to reducing its environmental footprint.
Disclaimer
The views, beliefs and opinions reflected
in the pages of MASSIVE Magazine do
not necessarily represent those of Massey
University, its staff, Albany Students’
Association (ASA), Massey University
Students’ Association (MUSA), Massey at
Wellington Students’Association (MAWSA),
Extramural Students’ Society, or the
MASSIVE editor.
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