Beryl - Wessex Scene

inside:
Beryl,
gets
her knickers
wessexscene.co.uk 20th March 2002 - ISSUE 754 - PRICELESS
in a twist!
ANOTHER WESSEXSCENE EXCLUSIVE
KEBAB’ED
A walk home turned into a nightmare for a group of Southampton University Students...Continued on page 2...
PAGE 2
Wessexscene.co.uk
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A walk home from Poundstretcher
turned into a nightmare for a
group of Southampton University
students after they were attacked
in Portswood on the 22nd of
February. A group of ten students
were making their way back from
the Students‘ Union when two of
the group decided to bare their
arses to staff cleaning up in a
kebab shop in the Portswood
area.
The students allege that two members of staff unlocked the door and
one came outside while the other
remained in the doorway. After trying to placate the kebab shop staff
there was some shouting between
the students and man outside the
shop, especially when he started to
threaten them with a knife sharpen-
Nigel Massen
er, "this was when we really shit
ourselves,"
says
Computer
Engineering
student
Oliver
Pearmain. As the situation started to
get out of control Oliver pulled his
friend John Goldie away from the
confrontation. John, celebrating his
21st birthday, had his 16 year old
brother Adam visiting. Oliver then
went to pull Adam away from the
argument as well but, in doing so,
was hit over the head with the knife
sharpener. Dazed he sat on the kerb,
his head bleeding heavily as he rang
the police. Some confusion follows;
John clearly remembers seeing his
brother being approached by the
man with the knife sharpener, his
brother was head-butted and fell to
the floor and viciously kicked in the
face. The knife sharpener was then
swung at John who sustained an
injury to his hand whilst trying to
protect his head from the blow. The
man from the kebab shop then went
back inside and locked the door.
Minutes later three police cars and a
police van were on the scene following a total of four 999 calls from
Oliver, the staff in the shop and
from two other passer-bys. Two
members of staff from the kebab
shop were arrested, one was released
almost immediately, the other, the
more active of the two, was kept
overnight before being released.
Charges have yet to be brought
against this man although investigations are underway. The three
injured students were taken to
Southampton General Hospital by
Ambulance where Oliver required
six stitches to his head and John had
x-rays of his hand taken. Adam will
need long term dental treatment to
correct the damage done to his four
front teeth.
Although not an entirely unprovoked attack, this incident is shocking in its brutality, illustrating how
out of control a bit of harmless
‘cheek’ can get. The whole group of
students were drunk, Adam had
been ejected from Poundstretcher
for his behaviour earlier that night.
They moonied, then argued, this
only escalated the situation. At any
point in the confrontation they could
have walked away, they chose not to
and paid for it. Whilst some may
feel that, to a certain extent, they got
what they deserved, this went way
too far. Trading blows may be violent enough, getting hit over the
head with a metal bar is a different
game entirely.
Hospitality Drink before
Assured? you THINK
The University has been accredited
with ‘Hospitality Assured’ through
it’s Business Services department.
Roger Mallet, Business Services
Director, said; "I am delighted and
proud to know that my department
is only one of a handful of public
sector bodies to have been awarded
Hospitality assured." Remember to
remind them when you next get
"served" at Garden Court.
Business Services department,
VITAL STATS:
Annual turnover £16m
Staff: 550
PROFIT:£0
5100 places in Halls of
Residence
University Catering
Hall Bars & Staff Club
Day Nurseries
Print Centre
Post Office (on Burgess
Road)
Unilink
Accommodation Office
HODGE - BARKING, UP THE WRONG TREE
Margaret Hodge, the Barking
Minister, may be damaging chances for students to pass their exams.
"I always enjoy a quick pint
before I work in the morning"
says Ben Husband, Electronic
Engineer. Ben has won the support of eminent scientists in is
claim that "it improves my memory and helps me think". Hodges
comments that students spend too
much money on drink, may have
come at the most inopportune
moment. It is now believed that
students are actually trying to
improve grades by buying around
£25 per week (or a pint every 8
hours) simply to improve academic performance.
A glass of lager can double the
brain's capacity to recall information has been cited by researchers.
The idea that alcohol can confuse
the mind was only partly dispelled
by the researchers but they found
that memory power can be significantly boosted by small quantities
of booze.
Tests carried out at Northumbria
University show, on the whole,
drinking half a pint of lager improves
brainpower by 20%. In one experiment carried out on 30 students
involving memorising word lists,
those who drank alcohol outperformed their counterparts by 50%.
However, researchers found that
much more than half a pint of lager
gave students false confidence and
led to mistakes being made. Dr
Andrew Scholey, director of
Northumbria University's Human
Cognitive Neuroscience Unit, said:
"It seems apparent that a low dose
of alcohol can actually improve
memory.
"It is essential that the dose is right
and that the alcohol is given between
learning and subsequent recall. "It
seems that alcohol helps to better
code the information, making it
easier to recall. This could be due to
its reinforcing properties, or the fact
that when mildly under the influence, new information cannot get
into the memory store and 'displace'
the stuff you've just learned.
"However, the results indicated that
larger doses of alcohol improved
confidence, which could account
for people being more prone to
making errors when they have drunk
alcohol."
Wessexscene.co.uk
PAGE 3
gone in 60 seconds
PAGE 4
Today we have learnt that
union politics is out of control. Everyone and their dog
is now in vicious legal battles. Infighting in the union
is rife. The presidential race
was declared and the victor
announced. Legal, political
and social battles have since
broken out throughout the
union. It is a thoroughly
unpleasant place to be.
Two of the candidates have since
levelled their considerable clout into
having the election declared null
and void. They may well, and possibly correctly endeavoured to make
this happen. They have gathered a
list of hundreds of signatures in
their support, including a quarter of
the union officers to assist their
effort.
The reasons being used in this
attempt to declare the election null
and void are that there are considerable perceived problems with the
decisions made by the returning
officer. This is coupled with a clearly discernible conflict of interest of
a sabbatical on elections committee.
In everyone's rigour to make the
elections fair, some seem to have
forgotten what fair is. Fair is an
election where every candidate
starts with an equal footing and
where every candidate can potentially, and reasonably win.
However, the fact that the union is
facing its toughest financial test in
its history should mean that this
political manoeuvrings should be
mollified, unfortunately they are
intensified. The unions financial
officer said to the unions management committee that she was "losing sleep" over the potential cashflow crisis.
It is my plea that all three candidates
in the last election can, for the sake
of the union, campaign ONLY by
demonstrating how much they can
do for the union now. no posters, no
flyers, no stickers... just the praise
for selfless assistance of the union
that I know all the candidates have
given in the past, and that I know
they can give again.
Joel Stobart
Wessexscene.co.uk
“A plea from a wessexscene editor for the 2000 who
voted, and to the 19,000 who didn’t to take 60 seconds to think what is really important.”
Chart Topper
Wessexscene.co.uk
PAGE 5
SOUTHAMPTON ON TOP IN CAMPUS WARS
The Times Newspaper has set up a
classic battle of campus against
campus. Luckily for Southampton
that it is winning.
Every two weeks they ask a new
question, the answer to which can
be found in The Times or on The
Times website. All you have to do is
answer the question correctly to get
entered into a draw for that fortnight's prizes.
Every correct answer from students
at your college gives your college
an extra point in the Campus Wars
league tables. At the end of the competition, Barclaycard will donate
£10,000 to the Hardship Fund of the
college with the most points.
Southampton University proudly
sits on top of this league table, fighting off strong competition from
Oxford Brooks. Should the top prize
be won, the money could well go to
paying for the biggest party in the
university’s history.
visit www.times-student.co.uk to win a host of
great prizes including £10,000 for the union.
BEEB best for graduate jobs
The BBC might be accused of dumming-down but it is the most attractive place to work according to a
survey of 6000 final year students.
The BBC has moved back to th top
slot after losing it last year to the
Foreign and Commonwealth Office,
which now sits second. Despite
financial difficulties British Airways
is in third while Accenture is fourth.
Despite gaining Enron notoriety,
Andersen ranks fifth.
The survey, by consulting firm
Universum Communications, asked
students at 42 universities to name
the five organisations for which
they would most like to work.
Researchers also asked students
about their expected salaries; on
average, students expect to earn
£19,424 in their first job and £29,553
after three years. Student also
wished for International career
opportunities (first), followed by a
"variety of assignments". "Secure
employment" a concern for 30%
and over a quarter want flexible
working hours while extra holidays
and paid overtime are considered
more attractive than a company car
or share options.
6/7
EAST STREET
Close to Brannigans
127F ABOVE
BAR STREET
Beside The Square
ALWAYS OPEN LATE
FEED A FRIEND FOR FREE!
Buy any Footlong and A Large Drink and Get
Another Footlong of Equal or Lesser Value FREE!
Your Friend Must Accompany You. One voucher per person.
UNDERWEAR
PAGE 6
TRAUMA
Wessexscene.co.uk
MYSTIC
MOG
Dear Beryl,
The Worlds Number 1 Mature
Student Agony Aunt
Dear Beryl,
YOU’VE BEEN IGNORING ME!!!!
I’M GONNA GUT YOU LIKE A
FISH BITCH. I’M GONNA HANG
YOUR ROTTEN CARCASS FROM
THE HIGHEST TREE IN THE
COMMON AND WATCH THE
CROWS PECK OUT YA EYES. I
LOVE YOU BUT IF I CAN’T
HAVE YOU THEN NO ONE
WILL.
ANON.
Dear ANON.,
I’m sensing some pent-up aggression
here. Have you considered therapy?
Being sectioned under the mental
health act maybe? Please ring this
number: 999, and stay on the line for
at least two minutes while the police
trace the call. Go on, you’ll feel
much better. By the way, it’s ‘going
to’, not GONNA, and ‘your’, not
YA.
Beryl
Dear Beryl,
I went home at the weekend to visit
my parents. My young niece and
nephew were staying there at the
time. The thing is, they’ve got
WORMS!!! I’m worried that I may
have caught it from them. How’s it
spread? Is it fatal? What if my friends
find out? Should I send you a stool
sample?
Fiona
Dear Fiona,
Worms are generally associated with
Victorian times (I remember the days
fondly) and before, when sanitation
was poor and drinking water was
often contaminated. It was supposed
to have been eradicated from the UK
many, many years ago. As I write a
helicopter full of men in bubble suits
are rushing to your house and the
houses of all your relatives to take
you into quarantine.
You are a PUBLIC HEALTH
HAZARD.
Don’t bother with the stool sample.
Beryl­­
Dear Beryl,
I am in desperate need of help
because my girlfriend is an animal in
bed. She is the first person I have
slept with and she demands sex 10
times a day. If I do not 'mix it up' for
her she becomes angry. Is this normal behaviour? I wouldn't call myself
frigid or unadventurous but I would
be far happier if we only had sex
twice a week. I play for a very successful football team and am worried
that my bedroom antics will hinder
my performance on the pitch. I have
not told my friends about this but it is
a massive problem for me.
Please be of assistance,
Ryan
Dear Beryl,
I have an unsightly lump on my
neck. It is hideously grotesque and I
feel embarrassed to go outside with
it. Everybody laughs at it and I can't
even get close to girls. I saw my doctor but he took one look at it and said
removing it would prove fatal. What
can I do? This hideous lump of useless flesh is ruining my life.
Yours Kevin.
Ryan,
Twice a week Ryan? What are you;
saving up to be celibate? Twice a
week is less than average, even a
Mayfly does it more than that and
they only live for a day (in May
apparently). I know how she feels; a
woman’s needs must be met. If
you’re not man enough for the job, I
suggest a womanshare arrangement.
It’s like those cheap holiday villas in
Spain, you share her with another
bloke so she’s always got someone
sitting round the pool.
Beryl
Dear Kevin,
You’re in luck. You want to get yourself down to the kebab shop (see
front page); they’re cutting people up
for free. Ok, it may be fatal, but, better fatal than lumpy.
Beryl
Dear Beryl,
I’ve just started seeing a new girl and
I’m a bit concerned that she never
wears matching underwear. Most
girls make an effort for at least the
first few weeks; she didn’t bother
from the start? Does this mean that
she doesn’t really like me? Doesn’t
she care what I think? Is it a sign she
takes the relationship as a bit of a
joke?
Yours in confusion,
Bill
Dear Bill,
When I was a young girl I only had
one set of draws, and like all our
clothes in them days, they were grey;
so everything matched all the time.
Maybe your girlfriend should wear
what’s she comfortable in and you
should not be so fussy. On the other
hand, a girl should make an effort for
her fella; so get a torch, go and find
someone with matching undies.
Beryl
Dear Beryl,
My housemates forgot to vote in the
Union elections. What should I do
about this disgusting lack of respect
for democracy?
Emma
Dear Emma,
All students not voting should be
executed, leaving the remaining ten
or so students free to use all the
facilities without having to queue.
Beryl
Dear Beryl,
My Buddhist housemates keep leaving large amounts of hair in the bath
plughole. They insist on shaving
their bodies from head to toe.
Whenever I have a shower it turns
into a giant bowl of hair soup. It
makes me sick.
Help,
Archie
Dear Archie,
Are you a bastion of personal hygiene
are you? Never left a mess in the
sink? Maybe you could ask your
housemates to clear up. Or use tweezers to remove said hair clippings
before placing them in their cereal.
Beryl
Dear Beryl,
Is it true you were going to run for
president in the election? I’ve heard
a rumour there’s going to be a reelection? Who should I vote for?
Why don’t you run?
Yours,
Ben
Dear Ben,
I did consider running as I felt I
could bring serious improvements to
the Union. My manifesto is simple; I
would turn the Union into a giant
Bingo hall (I love the rattle of those
balls), I would make Lawn Bowls
the only sport available, I would only
let the hairdressers provide blue rinses, I would ensure that all men carried combs, everyone would have to
wear Paisley, the National Anthem
would be played before lectures
while the students stand and salute.
VOTE BERYL for an uncommon
sense revolution,
Beryl
The Only
Horoscope for
Students
worth
reading...
OUR HANDY DESTINY TIPS:
Wath out for naked women they
cause havoc
Aries
You are going to be very lucky. This is the time to buy a lottery ticket.
On the other hand don’t walk under any ladders as you could have a close
call! Don’t wear Red.
Taurus
You’ll meet the person of your dreams at 2 on Friday in the coffee bardon’t be late or they may never return.
Gemini
Pointy ears, bushy tail? You’re looking foxy! now’s the time to book a
holiday- but not in the countryside- beware the hounds!
Cancer
You may feel sensitive about your hair this week. Cut it all off, enjoy the
freedom, save money on shampoo and spend it on beer.
Leo
You survived this far Leo. However, things may get worse. Like a cat you
will need nine lives to make it to the next issue.
Virgo
Careful! You’re treadding on very smelly broken eggs! To survive the
experience eat alot of Chinese food but watch out for the prawn crackers.
Libra
You may be excessively mean to your girl/boylfriend this week. Cook for
them, get them drunk and give plenty of head to seek forgiveness.
Scorpio
Stop the pinching! You’re pissing people off! Get a life and grow up.
Wear green to calm people around you.
Sagittarius
You’re a love fool. Watch out for the nails. Wear purple nail varnish and
tight tarten blue pants! This way you may have more chance of getting
what you want.
Capricorn
Traffic signs show that the hazard sign is up for you this month.
Aquarius
Make sure you stretch well this week. Too much stiffness may cause
embarrassment while you walk.
Make like a rubber band and all will be yours
Pisces
Many elements combine this week to give your life new focus. A visit to
the opticians may the defining moment.
All will become clear if events proceed as the heavens predict
Email your problems to
Beryl@wessexscene.co.uk
Wessexscene.co.uk
PAGE 7
How
MOANS much
for a
leg?
Racist Jewish Society? Student
An article from educationet.org
Students
at
Manchester
University Students Union have
voted down a
controversial proposal which the
Union of Jewish Students claim
could lead to their societies being
banned from campuses across
Britain. Greater Manchester Police
kept ‘low-key’ order on Oxford
Road outside a union general meeting fearing that a clash between
Islamic and Jewish students could
turn ugly.
The motion, which was supported
by the Islamic Society and proposed by their ex-member and
union’s anti-racism officer,
Omayma Al-Khaffaf, included a
proposal to ban all ‘Zionist’ organisations on campus which would
have forced the disaffiliation of J
-Soc, labelling it as a ‘racist organisation’. The motion also called to
completely de-legitimise the State
of Israel and could lead to a students boycott of Israeli goods,
putting Israel on a par with South
Africa thirty years ago. If the
motion had passed, the Islamic
Society would be free to label
Israel’s government and infrastructure racist, without contravening
the NUS’s no platform stance
against racism.
Hundreds of students from across
the country queued for hours for
the UGM which had to be held in
the Manchester Academy as the
normal union venue was too small
to house all who wished to attend.
Some wore yellow T-shirts saying
‘I’m scared to be Jewish on this
campus’, with others wearing
Palestinian scarves.
Daniel Sacker, Manchester Jewish
Students chair said: “Many Jewish
students feel threatened and
uncomfortable just because they
are Jewish. I, with other committed
Jewish students, will be doing everything in our power to ensure the
failure of this flagrant attempt to
curtail our rights.”
The university’s Islamic Society
claimed the motion is an attack on
Israel’s human rights record rather
than a threat to Jewish students.
Al-Khaffaf said; “I understand they
are concerned, but when it comes to
human rights we can’t stay silent
because we are afraid we are going
to be called racist. We are not attacking the Jewish people, Jewish students or the existence of the state of
Israel. The motion is solely to do
with human rights violations the
Palestinian people face every day.”
The motion actually got over 50%
of the vote, but failed because part
of it contained a revision to the
Union’s constitution, which meant
that a two thirds majority was
required to pass the motion.
‘Azmiat’, the first person to post on
the MUISOC Message Board was
philosophical. He wrote;
“Today, Manchester Student Union
witnessed a great victory - and a
great tragedy. The tragedy was that
yet again, the Palestinian plight has
been brushed aside to make way for
the sensibilities of Zionist Jews who
just cannot acknowledge that Israel
can be wrong., that its Government
is cruel, unjust, and yes, racist. Can
we not define treating one race in an
inferior way to another as racism? It
seems that we can, EXCEPT when
we apply this definition to Israel.”
“And the victory is this - though
those of us there who were supporting Palestinians did not see our
motion passed, our work has been
done. We set out to educate the people, to encourage independent
thought and an understanding of the
situation. We shouldn’t feel we have
failed - because a majority voting
What are your thoughts on this?
e-mail us at editor@soton.ac.uk
In a week when thousands of students marched on London to call
for the end to Tuition Fees and the
restoration of the Student Grant
many my be wondering what all
the fuss is about. At a time when
more students are going to
University in the UK than at any
time before some might think the
Higher Education sector has never
had it so good. This is sadly far
from the truth – a truth of institutions struggling on under-funding
and a student population that is
crippled by debts.
The student grant was abolished by
Labour in 1997 and replaced with a
loan worth £3815 for students outside London. Half of all students
also pay up to £1075 tuition fees.
Tuition Fees have been shown not
to have increased funding for
Universities, only replacing money
that once came from central
Government and only adding to the
burden on students.
As figures from the National Union
of Students this week show, with a
full student loan a student is left
with around £29 a week to live on
after paying rent - £13 less than they
would receive on Jobseekers allowance. A recent NUS survey found
that 90 percent of students work
part-time with the majority convinced that their grades had suffered
and a third admitting they had been
forced to miss lectures.
"Usually, this is not much. The first
edition of this thrilling journal can
be viewed here [www.wessexscene.
co.uk], where you can read about
his fun exploits snowboarding, pubcrawling round London, and slagging off people who turned up to the
NUS regional demo, especially the
Socialists. You may have guessed
his political persuasion and social
class by now :)"
from the intriguing political mind of
Edith Gray, her website is at www.
edithgray.co.uk
Students face an uncertain future
where a degree is no longer security
on a career and yet they will graduate with debts of £12,000 or more.
Their degrees are suffering due to
part time work and involvement in
extra-curricular activities is falling.
The Welsh and Scottish assemblies
have both made positive first steps
with the re-introduction of targeted
grants. It is now time for Westminster
to wake up to the needs of students
in England.
Stephen Edwards
Southampton
University Students’
Union President
The Government has set itself a
target for increasing the participation in Higher Education from the
current level of 33 per cent to 50 per
cent by the end of the decade. They
are destined to fail unless the financial barriers are removed to allow
access to the poorest families that
EDITHGRAY.co.uk
Thanks you to Edith
Gray,
currently participate least in Higher
Education.
A student who left a block in
Montefiore Hall of Residence by
jumping from a canopy roof has to
face a disciplinary fine of 50 Pounds.
During a false fire alarm he had the
unfortunate attempt to leave the
building by climbing out of a window in the second floor on the canopy roof. Half slipping, half jumping he was falling down and hit the
ground. The result was a broken
wrist which had to be operated in
the hospital.
Normally you should think that a
couple of days in hospital and much
more time of pain and hassle should
be punishment enough. But not the
university. Cause he was not able to
explain "why (he) should have
engaged in such an irresponsible
and dangerous act,
other
than gross stupidity" the guy
has to pay
a
5 0
Pound fine
to avoid getting
kicked out of the
hall.
She brings a substantive , alternative view point and reply to our presidents
diary, unfortunately his recent death has curtailed his exploits. (for those
who are concerned at the loss of the institution, however; we have broken
into his house and stolen his diaries from his mourning family, such is the
way with tabloid journalism, so next issue should be really exciting.
l A totally new
gaming experience
l Up to 16 LAN gamers in-house
l Competitions over
the www
l All gamers on level
playing field
l Gaming quality and
equality
l Relaxed pub atmosphere
*** One hour free for first-timers ***
*** Student discounts ***
The Experience Has Begun ...
PAGE 8
Wessexscene.co.uk
Southampton University
Wessexscene.co.uk
PAGE 9
Rising Star
of Research
One result is likely to stand out
from the Higher Educations
Funding Council for England
Assessment
of
Research
Institutions. The University of
Southampton emerges with the
largest research grant increase
among English academic institutions following the results of the
2001
Research Assessment
Exercise.
Among the institutions receiving
the largest increases for 2002/03 are
large redbrick civics, the research
elite, and some new universities.
And both former polytechnics and
older universities are facing large
cuts. The traditional boundaries that
have up to now split old and new
university sectors are blurring.
The University of Southampton has
seen its block research grant increase
by £6m, to £31m for 2002/03.
Southampton both improved their
research ratings in the 2001 Research
Assessment Exercise while maintaining a high number of academics
in the exercise.
With £67.7m, the University of
Cambridge boasts the largest
research income. But University
College London is not far behind
this, with £66.7m, deposing Oxford
from second place in the research
grant rankings. The funding council
is distributing £940m in total for
research this year - allocated to
more than 100 different academic
institutions.
In terms of total research grants, De
Montfort's performance now puts it
in spitting distance of some older
universities such as Aston and
Keele. The traditional divide
between the research budgets of the
traditional universities and those of
universities established little more
than 10 years ago has all but disappeared.
But those most disappointed by the
funding outcomes are likely to be
the former polytechnics. Despite
improvements in their research ratings they have witnessed not only
cuts in general research income, but
also the end of collaborative research
funds as well. Those taking the biggest hits are the University of
Greenwich, the University of
Portsmouth, the University of North
London, Coventry University and
Manchester
Metropolitan
University.
Unfortunately Southampton Institute
suffered a cut of 1.5% to add to
already considerable financial difficulties. Remaining fixed firmly
close to the bottom of the league
table, Southampton Institute will
receive around £30,000 (one thousandth of the Southampton
University grant) for its research
this year.
SCENE
Two University students will be
facing more than detention after a
student they mugged spotted them
days later in a football match. The
victim was mugged at knife point
on the High Street for only a few
quid. Days later the victim spotted the two assailants as they
faced each other on opposing
teams in a football match and the
Police were called. "There’s one
in every crowd…"
IT ALL?
CASH
TOP GUNS FOR
Money (£Millions)
University of Cambridge
67.8
University College London
66.8
University of Oxford
64.9
Imperial College
60.7
University of Manchester
38.9
King's College London
37.5
University of Leeds
31
University of Southampton
31
University of Sheffield
30.2
University of Birmingham
29.3
STUDENTS
BOTTOM FEEDERS
Money (£1000s)
York St John College
9
Southampton
Institute
32
Thames Valley
University
Edge Hill College of
Higher Education
University College
Worcester
36
46
70
Not content with more cash from
HEFCE, Southampton University
have managed to get £50,000 from
the Sutton Trust to help attract
Students from disadvantaged backgrounds. The charity provides educational opportunities for young
people from non-privileged backgrounds, to support its initiatives to
widen participation in higher education. The University's Widening
Access to Medicine project will
receive £10,000. This project aims
to give potential students from less
advantaged backgrounds a chance
to experience life as medical students, and to raise their awareness
of medicine as a possible career.
The grant from the Sutton Trust will
be used to run day schools and short
residential conferences. It will also
help to set up a mentoring scheme
through which students who go on
to study medicine at Southampton
will be supported by current students and qualified doctors. A further grant of £40,000 will enable the
University to run a one-week residential summer school for potential
students from local FE colleges in
July.
S tudent
PAGE 10
Wessexscene.co.uk
WHAT IS MARGARET HODGE JABBERING ON ABOUT?
Haters
A GOVERNMENT FULL OF UNIVERSITY GRADUATES, FULL OF GRANTS,
AND FISCAL CONFIDENCE,
SPOUT NONSENSE IN THE FACE OF BILLIONS OF POUNDS OF STUDENT DEBT
Its difficult to foresee the minister
for Education Learning and Skills
producing anything but howlers.
Margaret Hodge appears to be
gnawing the bone of student debt.
With canine ferocity the minister
recently, outspokenly attacked students for having " a ruddy good
time at the taxpayer’s expense".
When Xavier Smith, a second year
teetotal law student was informed
she replied to the minister in no
uncertain terms "the Bitch Bollocks", Smith pays £1075 a year
in tuition fees and £3600 a year for
a house; "the student loan is pocket
change; I’m eating my way into my
second overdraft".
It appears that Hodge, the Barking
Minister, is giving no money to students; "Students can expect no more
money from the government's
review of undergraduate support"
she said.
"Our ambition is that by 2010 half
of young adults under the age of 30
should enjoy the opportunity of participating in higher education", she
glibly states. Whilst recently confirming that she expects large numbers of students to work part time.
Ben Jones, an 18 year old
Southampton resident said, I can I’ll
afford to spend three years of my
life growing a £20,000 debt. I intend
to join the job market as soon as I
can". The irony must be that university graduates pay thousands more
in tax than non-graduates, and over
the lifetime of the graduate easily
cover the expense of a university
life free from debt.
The minister is with her comments
defending the levels of student debt;
which according to the BBC could
be more than double the £1.8bn
owed to the Student Loans
Company.
Martin Hayward, the Henley
Research Centre chairman, said:
"We've given the youngest members
of society permission to get into
debt to get an education... it's no
longer a sign of inadequacy." Money
management among young adults
can consist of shuffling debts from
loans to overdrafts to credit cards
and back again, making the most of
attractive credit offers.
In a spirited defiance five naked
students confronted the higher education minister, Margaret Hodge,
outside Oxford University.
Margaret Hodge - Barking?
Is it our turn to put up a fight? Go to
the Wessexscene.co.uk and sign our
pledge to fight the "Barking
Minister".
Press on Students
Wessexscene.co.uk
PAGE 11
Forward your responses to WSX@wessexscene.co.uk
Kate Messer
21,000 students at the University
of Southampton make up a large
section of the community. But
Students don’t have any responsibility to the local community they
live in while at university? Surely
students aim to cause as much
damage as possible while at university? Or heaven forbid do students genuinely care about the
environment they live in and are
stereotyped by the local community who are looking for a scapegoat?
Ian Murray, editor of Southampton’s
local newspaper ‘The Southern
Daily Echo’, admits that students
don’t receive the most flattering
local coverage, the defacing of the
ancient butter cross in Winchester in
1999 becoming an incident in
grained as ‘normal’ student behaviour in the local communities memory. Not promoting the image of
responsible students who have
respect for the local community!
The stereo-typical reputation portrayed of the youth of today by the
media is often sweeping generalisations of a alcoholic, drugged up,
noisy, bus seat snatching, traffic
cone steeling generation. Granted
either. The Southern Daily Echo is
invited every year to the Freshers
ball, they photograph what they seealcoholic student’s being students’
having a wonderful time but in the
sober light of day to the regular
readers of the local paper the photos
confirm their in grained prejudices
of the student community.
Unbalanced images are being created and the balance needs to be
redressed.
newspapers need to make money
and therefore are targeting a certain
type of readership but surly they are
presenting a bias image against students?
The Ian Murray claims not, ‘It is
most defiantly not the aim of the
paper to stereotype students and use
this to sell more papers’. However,
he admits that the reactionary nature
of the media, including newspapers
means that his paper is reactive to
what is happening in the wider community and often this means news
of a negative student activity in the
local community.
We do not do ourselves any favour
3 Flash By Years-
Do something worth talking and writing about
Dave Munn
It’s 3.30pm on a Wednesday afternoon, you don’t have lectures, what
are you doing? Maybe your watching TV? Drinking in the union?
Sitting in the library attempting to
do some work?
At this point in time I’m sitting in a
bus, the number 17 to be precise.
It’s taking me to the Millbrook
housing estate; Millbrook where’s
that? This is one of the many fairly
impoverished housing estates that
encircle the city. I’m on my way to
this place to carry out my role as a
Befriender. I work alongside Social
Services on a voluntary, part time
basis with children in Millbrook and
other places within the local community. My role is to build up a
relationship with particular children
from families in great need. Each
case is different but the gist of my
involvement is to be there for these
kids, I listen to what they have to
say, and work through, trying to
resolve any problems or concerns
they may have. It is quite challenging at times, but immensely rewarding all the same. It gives me a great
sense of achievement, that I am
making a positive difference (maybe
only a small one) in this person’s
life.
I don’t mean to sound pompous or
that I’m better than anyone elseI’m not; I just wanted to make the
point that as students we all have
allot of free time on our hands- this
is how I choose to spend some of
my time. I can honestly say, for me
it is free time well spent and has
made my university life quite complete.
Voluntary work is a great thing to
do and there are many avenues in
which you can explore it, especially
here at university. Student
Community Action (SCA) is an
organisation that runs many diverse
voluntary projects, ranging from
environmental, school mentoring to
working with homeless persons- all
of which are in need of volunteers.
As little as two hours a week is all
that needs to be spared and consequently can bring great results, for
you and others. If the idea of helping those in less fortunate positions
doesn’t solely have great appeal,
then the impression such voluntary
work will give to future employers
(on your CV) may encourage you.
If you require any more information about voluntary projects, then
visit the SCA office on level 1 of
the union or e-mail Ruth French at
scaction@soton.ac.uk.
But why bother? Why do we need a
positive image of students? Firstly
for the obvious reasons of trying to
create a more harmonious integrated
community. But secondly Ian
Murray sees the media’s bad publicity of students as reflecting the
wider problem of student apathy.
Students are arguably more apathetic today than thier predecessors
in the 1960s and 1970s. Students
today are more pragmatic and realistic. Ian Murray believes that this is
part of the problem of the way students are seen and portrayed in the
reactive media and subsequently to
the community. If students want
their voice listened to they only
have themselves to blame they need
to get back to good publicity.
Editorial
My last issue as WSX editor! But
I’m sure I’ll be leaving Wessex
Scene in good hands! This issue
we touch upon the relationship
between students and the community and how this relationship
is portrayed by the media (left).
Israel and Palestine is now a continuous feature in the news, e-mail
us your opinion on this highly
contentious issue. Consider your
response to the article ‘Apartheid
Israel’ (page 8l). We have the
regular devil’s advocate- that
debates the privatisation of the
NHS and a new feature driving
ambition.
I would like to thank all you student’s who ‘bothered’ to vote in
the union election- you never
quite understand the extent of
student apathy unless you’ve tried
to get them to do something as
active as voting! My campaign
team were fantastic- thank you.
Anything to say about this
section- WSX@wessexscene.co.
uk
Happy Easter
Kate Xx
PAGE 12
Wessexscene.co.uk
Apartheid Israel
Hudhaifah Shaker
“I am a black South African, and
if I were to change the names, a
description of what is happening
in the Gaza Strip and the West
Bank could describe events in
South Africa”
The above quote comes from none
other than Archbishop Desmond
Tutu who was comparing Israel to
the then (1989) apartheid South
Africa. He spent many years fighting the racist regime of South Africa
where the white colonialists minority dominated and oppressed the
non-white majority. Laws were
passed which allowed racism by the
white Dutch ruling party (known as
Afrikaans) to become official and
institutionalised. Race laws touched
every aspect of life from economic
to social. Non-whites were not
allowed to marry whites and it was
legal to display ‘white-only’ when
advertising for jobs. For over 40
years the Blacks, Asians and the
rest of the non-white population
were separated from and oppressed
by the ruling whites despite great
national and international pressure.
Eventually the pressures against
this tyranny and racism rose so
much that sanctions were put
against South Africa and the racist
laws were eventually repealed in
1991.
However apartheid still continues
today as recognised by Desmond
Tutu. Institutionalised racism is the
key essence of the state of Israel,
one of the biggest allies of the west.
This state, which claims to be the
only democracy in the region, has
for over 50 years oppressed and
discriminated against the indigenous Palestinian people.
The
Palestinians have been treated by
the Jewish occupiers similar to (and
some say worse than) the nonwhites were treated by the Afrikaans
of South Africa.
From Amnesty to Human Rights
Watch, all neutrals will tell you that
in Israel if you are not Jewish you
are treated as a third class citizen.
Politically, economically and socially there is an underclass in Israel
and it consists only of Palestinians.
Last year Gideon Levy, a Jewish
reporter for the daily Israeli paper
Ha’aretz, wrote an article on the
discrimination that he saw in
Hebron, a city in the occupied areas
of the West Bank. In the article he
states “We thought about visiting
Hebron because we thought about
apartheid. No other place in the
occupied territories can better illustrate the brutal essence of the Israeli
occupation and the local version of
apartheid...a tiny minority of about
400..controls a huge majority of
140,000 residents...Palestinians are
subjected to curfews and closures
due to a holiday ..or any other whim
of the Jewish minority, there are
roads for Jews only.. and acts of
violence occur daily..”. The settlements in Hebron are few of over
200 areas in the West Bank where
Israel has put Jewish immigrants on
Palestinian land and allowed them
to live there with total disregard for
the original owners of the land.
Refugee camps in Palestine, Jordan
and Lebanon are full of the children
and grandchildren of people who
had their land taken from them and
given to people who were born
thousands of miles from Palestine.
The settlements and the continuing
influx of Jewish people into Israel is
one example of the blatant racism
that goes in Israel. In 1950 the first
law was passed which made it official that Israel will discriminate on
the ground of race. The Law of
return gave every person who was
Jewish the right to come to Israel
and reside there. This law gave
more rights to a Jew born in Russia
or the USA than an Arab whose
family had lived in Palestine for
centuries. The Jews were given the
land that was inhabited by the Arabs
who were seen as an obstruction to
the creation of a Jewish state. Many
other laws passed by the government are also entrenched in racism.
For example in 1985 a law was
passed banning any political party
which did not recognise Israel as
the ‘state of the Jewish people’.
This prevented anybody being able
to legally oppose Israel’s continuing expansion over Palestinian land.
Also, 92% of the land in Israel is
owned by the Jewish National Fund
(JNF) and none of the land, by law,
can be given to anybody who is not
Jewish, i.e. Christian and Muslim
Palestinians. The JNF also has the
right to demolish Palestinian homes
(which it does) if deems it necessary to allow the building of Jewish
homes or settlements. And its not
only land that is the problem in
Israel. Like apartheid South Africa,
every aspect of life is a lot easier if
you are Jewish than if you’re not.
Discrimination on the grounds of
race occurs for jobs, housing, education and even simple things such
as obtaining water.
The question is how has Israel
managed to implement such racism
and get away with it? In the 21st
century where the fight for human
rights is bigger than ever before,
how has Israel managed to deny
them to a people on the basis that
they are not Jewish? Firstly using
violence. Since its creation Israel
has always found that the easiest
solution to the Palestinian problem
is by their extermination. Massacres
are documented throughout Israel’s
history; from 1948 until the present
Intifada the Israeli army is wilfully
killing all that get in the way of its
colonial expansion and not discriminating between military and
civilian, between male and female
or between child and adult. Even
now Israel’s ‘retaliatory’ strikes are
refugee camps which they themselves created and against populated
civilian areas. Even the present
Prime Minister, Ariel Sharon, is
famous for having the blood of over
2,000 refugees on his hands.
But perhaps the biggest reason why
Israel can do what it does, is permission from the rest of the world.
The international community have
given Israel the free hand to do
what it wants. And not only that,
some supply them with money,
weapons and all the political support they need. They choose to look
away as Israel kills yet another
child and suppresses a people who
have every right to rebel against
their occupiers. The solution to the
problem in the Middle East can be
argued for hours on end, but the
first stage in any solution is recognition of the problem. Apartheid
South Africa was overcome because
the West reluctantly recognised the
problem and acted and it is time for
them to recognise the apartheid that
goes on in Israel and act. Being
anti-apartheid South Africa does not
make you anti-white, and being
anti-apartheid Israel does not make
you anti-Jewish. I am certainly not
anti-Jewish but I am anti-Israel until
they change their apartheid regime.
30TH OCTOBER 2001
Stop that monkey business...
March 22nd 2002
Finally...the brick
award winners in
full!
Cornershop and
spiritualized dish
the dirt for the edge
in exclusive interviews
‘24 hour party people’: steve coogan’s
brilliant new film
brown in town
IAN BROWN AT THE
GUILDHALL
Oscars Preview•Elizabeth Wurtzel •Breaking News about Paradox •NME awards •
22nd March 2002
The EDGE
needs YOU
If you have a passion for
music or film and think you
can write about it, if you
like the sound of free CDs,
free entry to gigs, and the
fame and glory that comes
with writing for the EDGE,
contact us now to let us
know. You know you want
to.
theedge@soton.ac.uk
THE EDGE TEAM
Editor: Emmanuelle Smith
Assistant Editor: Paul Cornwell
Dance: Charlotte Devalda
Film: Tim Houghton
Reviews Ed: Rich Heap
With: Satwant Phander, Georgi
Vaughn, Nina Dubravec, Darren
Pickering,Simon Foster, James
Hayward, Alex Cooke, Paul Cairn,
Chris Bienemann, Mark Hanna,
Ross Melville, Russell Wood, Jo
Clarke, Stacy Yelland, Guy
Williamson, Niall McAuliffe, Alex
Mattinson, Gareth Atkinson, Rob
Barbour, Joley Dickson, Graeme
Robertson, Richard Eden, Tristan
Hunt, DJ Break, Jonathan CurtisBrignell, Guy Hiscott, John
McKenna, Chris Weekes, Alex
Dismore, Paul Jones
The Edge
S.U.S.U
Highfield
Southampton
S017 1BJ
tel: 023 805955230
PAGE 2
THE NEWS...
Welcome to...
The
EDGE
with EDGE hound Paul Cornwell TOP
10
Wes Scantlin, vocalist with
Puddle of Mudd, was arrested
recently as part of an investigation
into alleged domestic violence.
According to US press reports
Scantlin and his fiancee Michelle
Rubin were both arrested in
California on Sunday 10 March.
Witnesses claimed that they saw a
man forcing a woman into a Jeep
Cherokee, driven by a third party
at the side of nearby Highway
126. The Jeep was consequently
pulled over by the police and the
couple were arrested for investigation of domestic violence. Both
were granted bail of $20,000 from
the Ventura County Jail in Filmore.
Wes and Michelle will not be
charged however.
Asher D, disgraced and jailed So
Solid Crew member, faces prison
conditions described in a recent
report as “totally unacceptable in
a civilised country”. After pleading
guilty to a gun possession charge
Asher D is spending time awaiting
sentence in Feltham Young
Offenders And Remand Centre in
west London. It is the biggest
young offender’s prison in Europe,
housing over 900 inmates, and
was described in the 1999 report
as being “rotten to the core”.
Possession of a prohibited firearm
carries a maximum jail term of ten
years. Not so Bling eh Ashley?
New single from Blur? Definitely
maybe. Damon, who has been on
tour across North America with
Gorillaz throughout March, is
planing on regrouping Blur in
March to complete their new
album. Approximately 14 songs
have been recorded already and
one in particular - ‘Don’t Bomb
When You Are A Bomb’ - could be
a single. Albarn was reluctant to
comment to MTV news about the
content of his future lyrics or the
bands possible direction in the
future “I can’t really say anything
Letter from an angry reader! Our favourite
kind!
Hi there,
Just saw your latest publication.
I’m interested in joining your team
of music critics and would like to
apply via the proper means. My
main reason for wanting to join
your team apart from my love for
music, is that some of your reviews
have been,politely speaking inaccurate. I am referring especially to
your reviews on certain hip-hop
and r’n’b records.To say the least it
is quite obvious that whoever
does these reviews has no idea
what so ever what this genre of
music entails.
Taking the latest reviews for
example, how dare u call R-Kelly a
‘crappeddler’. Do u know what that
means? This is a man who has
been a driving force in r’n’b for
almost six years. Four back-toback
multi-platinum
albums,endless awards and countless writing and production credits and you dare to call him a crappeddler. I will have you know that
Montell Jordan is not crap. He has
supplied an endless list of hits.
What did you find wrong with his
new album? He said ‘ooh-baby’
one too many times? Do you listen to music or do you just scheme
to it? Do you try and find out what
he is saying or you just want him
to say things like ‘hit me baby one
more time’.No disrespect to your
so-called ‘freat artists, but what if i
told you that Robbie Williams was
shit or that Limp Bizkit was just
ridiculous noise? A few issues ago
there was a review of both Jay-z’s
and Ludacris’ latest works and
someone had the nerve to call
Ludacris’ work ‘muthafuckin’ piece
of crap’. That clown should have
been honest and said I don’t
understand the southern accent.
Jay-z is a living legend with six
classic albums and you said he’s
alright.You guys need to get your
act together.If you don’t know
what to say get someone who
does or don’t say nothing at all.
Cos if I had to review the Strokes
or whatever I would call them
average.Don’t base your judgements on radio 1 ratings.
I don’t mean to sound harsh but
this is the reality of the situation.
Also i think it will be nice to
increase the no of genres you
review and not just those who r on
top of the pops!
Err..Radio 1? Top of the Pops?
FREAT artists?? Whatever... Anyway,
welcome aboard. The job of crap
CD reviewer is yours. Ooops...did I
say crap? I meant ‘living legends’.
(Ed)
about it, because if I did, you
wouldn’t want me back here (in
the US) next time.”
King of hip-hop, DJ Shadow, is
apparently absolutely gagging to
work with Radiohead on any new
material they write. Speaking
ahead of the release of his long
awaited second solo album.
The super producer - real name
Josh Davis said of working with
Radiohead “That would be amazing if they did ask me to work on
something. They routinely ask me
to tour with them, but the timing
always seems to be wrong [DJ
Shadow toured with the band in
1997]. Hopefully they haven’t
given up on me yet beacause I’d
really like to do something with
them. I’m an unequivocal fan of
that group.” Shadow releases new
album ‘Private Press’ on May 27.
Competition!
The edge and the lovely
people at cool delta have
got together to offer you
a fantastic comp. We have
copies of David Holmes’
forthcoming album ‘come
get it i got it’ to give away
to two lucky readers.
just send the answer to
the following question to
the edge e-mail address:
What is the name of the
latest film David holmes
has made the soundtrack
to?
Songs for the
Ali G film
1. Staines Ghetto
Superstar - Pras
2. Original Gangster The Offspring
3. Da Matthew Arnold
Skool’s Out Alice Cooper
4. Aight Am The Mob Catatonia
5. Bling of Fire Johnny Cash
6. West Side Girls Pet Shop Boys
7. Drive-By In My Car Madness
8. Sexual Dealing Marvin Gaye
9. I’m Only Happy
When It’s Staines Garbage
10. Anything by Three
Dog Night (have you
seen the previews?)
22nd March 2002 30TH
THE FUTURE SOUND OF SOUTHAMPTON?
It has been exclusively revealed to
the EDGE that the Guildhall will
now no longer hold drum ‘n’ bass
events. The last d&b event in the
Guildhall was H2O on 19 March,
no more events of this nature will
be allowed after a decision was
made by Guildhall Ents.
The decision came in the wake of
the last Paradox to be held there
on 16/02/02 where a spate of
fights broke out and an incident
involving one of the DJs, Radio
One’s Grooverider, and a dancer.
So what I hear you cry? For the
huge big name line-up’s that we’ve
been used in recent times here in
Southampton such as Andy C,
Hype, Bad Company and Optical
all on one bill, a large venue is
needed. The Guildhall is the largest venue we have. Smaller venue,
less tickets, less money, less acts
simple as that.
The event descended into a
shambles when the security failed
to control the crowd and several
fights broke out around the
Guildhall, including one in one of
the bars that was so large that the
bar had to be shut down for a
period to clear up the mess and
damage.
Information revealed to the EDGE
by inside sources who wish to
remain anonymous described the
scene as being rather ugly with
security wandering around covered in blood after trying to break
up and disperse some of the fights.
It was noted by some of these
sources that the crowd were made
up of a considerable amount of
‘townies’ who were there with the
soul purpose in mind of causing
trouble.
It is widely known that the odd
fight does break out sometimes,
but the scale of the violence had
never before been seen in the
Guildhall. It wasn’t this however,
that initially led the Guildhall management to taking a closer look at
the state of things at the event.
The main incident of the night
occurred when a dancer, who has
been declared unprofessional by
some who were there, put her foot
on the table which the decks were
on. In case you don’t realise, this
action could easily lead to the needle jumping on the record and
ruining the flow of the DJ’s set.
An exchange then occurred
between Grooverider and the
dancer which led to the dancer
throwing a pint of beer across the
decks at Grooverider - a reaction
which could have caused a lot of
damage to the decks and the mixer
and ground the evening to a halt.
Grooverider retaliated by throwing
a bin across the decks at the dancer. She was struck by the bin but
consequently picked it up, threw it
back and then ran off in tears. She
later contacted the police and filed
charges against him. It is believed
that these charges were for ABH,
which were later upgraded to GBH
due to the fact that the bin had cut
her.
It is believed that is was this which
first attracted the Guildhall’s management at looking at the event,
due to the serious charges brought
against Grooverider within the
Guildhall. Both Grooverider and
the Guildhall have said that it
wasn’t entirely Paradox’s fault however. Paradox directly employ the
dancers.
So who is to blame? That is a difficult one that I leave for you to
decide. Certainly the element that
go to these events to cause fights.
But I had already raised this issue
with Paradox and Anil Sood assured
me that no such thing occurred
and told me to stop being so detrimental to the drum ‘n’ bass scene
in Southampton. Anyone for burying their head in the sand?
PAGE 3
22nd March 2002
SINGLES
AL B UM S
ALCAZAR
Casino
(BMG Music)
SUGARCOMA
(You Drive Me) Crazy
(Music For Nations)
This is a truly inspired track! If you
thought the title looked a bit
familiar then you’d be right: this is
a somewhat comic, maybe even
satirical, cover of Britney’s pop
tune. It has to be said that musically speaking this version is not
particularly good, but it is
extremely funny. Sugarcoma
sound young and a touch immature because they are young (and
I would hazard a guess that they
are a touch immature too).
Their youth is evident on the
B-sides from the lyrical content
with the general age-old antiestablishment message of ‘It’s all
bullshit’ and ‘I’m sick of the shit
you speak’ that makes me wonder
if their aggression is real and their
lyrics a bit dull or if they’re just a
happy, well-adjusted bunch of
kids.
10/10
GA
LONGWAVE
Exit
(Hummer Recordings)
The slightly distorted vocals, traces of feedback, and pounding
drum beat all make it easy to see
why they’ve recently had support
slots with The Strokes and B.R.M.C.
It’s a good moody song that could
only be made better with more
distortion, more feedback, louder
guitars and louder drums.
Definitely on the right lines,
though, and seems more forward
thinking than most of the 70’s
punk and retro revival.
7/10
RH
RIVAL SCHOOLS
Used For Glue
(Mercury)
A stand-out track from New York
foursome Rival Schools début
album United By Fate, Used For
Glue is a slab of ‘emo-core’ (or
whatever) genius, and an obvious
choice for first single. Based
around a one-note riff big enough
PAGE 4
to make any of the Papa Parkstyle ‘metal’ bands go running
back to their 12-year-old Street
Teamers, U.F.G.’s simplistic aceness - quiet verse, passionate
chorus, cool harmonies - betrays
frontman Walter Schriefels’ past
in seminal hardcore group
Quicksand. Rad. Go buy.
7/10
RB
CUSTOM BLUE
So Low
(Universal Islands Records)
What with terrorism, debt, and
the thought that the So Solid
Crew might shoot you and then
assault your 15-year-old sister, I
imagine you find it hard to relax.
Admit it, you have trouble just
doing nothing. Well this should
do the trick as bubbling sounds,
soothing bassline, and gentle
strumming of an acoustic guitar
will massage your temples and
make you feel like just drifting off
into your own little world (a feeling not spoiled by Paul Weller-ish
vocals.) The perfect soundtrack
for basking in the summer sun.
Tantastic.
8/10
RH
Imagine a meeting in Alcazar HQ.
Andreas Lundstedt says (in a very
tight pair of trousers), “Okay girls,
listen up. Last Friday I went to a
Southampton Uni Student Union
event... I think it was called
Poundstretcher, but that doesn’t
matter because it’s given me a
great idea for an album. Let’s distil
all of its most loathsome elements
onto one album.”
“Well what do you mean?” asks the
blonde one.
“Think about it. Take the violin
intros and the piano bits of all ‘70s
disco songs, some Steps vocals, a
few ‘80s pop beats, some boy
band/Enrique Iglesias vocals, some
electronic bits like on that Cher
song, a bit of (that tosspiece) Ricky
Martin, some Human League samples and...”
“But Andreas,” interrupts the wavyhaired brunette one, “Won’t that
sound shit?”
“No, because we’re going to make
it all sound vaguely cool. We’re
going to make the record that
Steps never made because they
were never cool enough. It’s going
to be pure ‘70s. I can see it now...
this is going to be the record they
play to pissed English people in
Spanish holiday resorts, and they’ll
dance because they’re all pissed!
This will be my defining moment.
This will add me to the pantheon
of great Swedish musicians... (carries on hysterically).”
Well if that was the aim then
they’ve succeeded, but that doesn’t
make it anything more than a
slightly-better-than-average disco
rip-off.
6/10
RH
OASIS
The Hindu Times
(Big Brother)
SYBARITE
Placement Issues
(Temporary Residence ltd.)
First single off the forthcoming
album and it’s a promising start,
definitely one of those songs that
will grow on you. It’s just a catchy
tune with Liam’s vocals doing the
rest, like all classic Oasis tracks
really. Good enough to appeal to
more than just those still mad for
it fans stuck in Britpop who failed
to realise there last two albums
were actually really shit (but then
again so were the B*** albums
and people still bought them).
More of the same please Oasis,
just don’t let Liam write any of
the songs.
Following from the success of last
year’s soundtrack album, musicforafilm, Xian Hawkins (aka
Sybarite) found himself inundated
with offers to record for a variety of
labels. Placement Issues represents a collection of all of his previous singles, together with some
new tracks, into one cohesive
whole. Culled from a variety of
sources, all tracks on this album are
now out of print. Do not be put-off
by this album being a collection of
singles, however: it flows beautifully thanks to Sybarite’s ear for
intimate production. Connecting
the pieces together like a giant
jigsaw puzzle, he draws from folk,
rock, jazz and dance influences to
generate down-tempo, organic,
7.5/10
AD
warm and moving electronica.
Comparable in sound to Boards of
Canada, Mouse on Mars, Fridge,
and Dntel, Sybarite sets himself
apart from accusations of mere
imitation with an ear for a beguiling melody and an ability to mix
organic texture (acoustic guitars,
woodwind, strings etc.) with deftly
orchestrated digital material. Bjork
is numbered among Sybarite’s
fans. Need I say any more?
8/10
JCB
HALIFAX PIER
Put Your Gloves On And Wave
(Temporary Residence ltd.)
Put Your Gloves On and Wave is the
sophomore effort from Louisville,
KY’s Halifax Pier. Mixing intricate
acoustic guitars with a driving
string section, they project touching stories of loss and love, representing a meandering blend of
gothic, Nick Drake inspired folk
and backwoods chamber music.
Comparable to a less twee Belle
and Sebastian, there are also predominant echoes of Low and
Bonny Billy in their sound, with
hushed vocals (both male and
female), cleanly picked guitars,
beautiful string arrangements, and
a general sense of melancholy.
N.B. this album will be tricky to get
hold of in the U.K, so your best bet is to
go to www.temporaryresidence.com
8/10
JCB
VARIOUS
Bailing The Jack: The Birth of the
Nu-Blues
(OCHO)
The 24 tracks on this record constitute a vaguely enjoyable trek
through what has rather tenuously
been dubbed ‘The Nu-Blues’.
Certainly some of the artists contained within this compilation
have their roots in the blues but
this, sadly, doesn’t necessarily
guarantee their quality. One of the
biggest disappointments is the
appearance of Chris Thomas King
who played the legendary Tommy
Johnson in the Coen Brothers film
O Brother, Where Art Thou? Failing
to live up to the quality of Johnson’s
spine-tingling recordings, King
produces a dull blues-rap crossover which rather unfortunately
brings Limp Bizkit to mind. To its
credit, however, Bailing The Jack
does throw up a few overlooked
gems such as Alan Lomax’s 1940
field recording of the blues standard Road Song and Diamanda
Galas’ version of See That My Grave
Is Kept Clean, as well as some much
loved classics from Beefheart and
Nick Cave. The exclusion of the late
great Rainer Ptacek, however, is
inexcusable.
5/10
TH
BOARDS OF CANADA
Geogaddi
(Warp Records)
Beautifully packaged (mine came
in a limited edition, hard-cover
“book” format!!), this is the second
“proper” full-length album from
Warp Records favourites Boards of
Canada (aka Scottish duo Michael
Sandison and Marcus Eoin).
Previous work, Music Has The Right
To Children, and In a Beautiful
Place Out in the Country, has been
critically lauded; so much expectation was placed on the long-awaited Geogaddi. Thankfully, Boards
of Canada once again deliver.
Whilst not exactly breaking any
new ground here, there is enough
distortion of their signature ele-
22nd March 2002
ALBUMS
ments for them to remain fresh
and exciting; and with signature
elements as good as those possessed by Boards of Canada, who
would bother changing? They
enjoy playing with their fans - melodies and sections from previous
works pervade the texture of
Geogaddi, whilst always being rendered almost unrecognisable by
the arrangements. The beats are
always percussive and the bass
warm - all in all this is electronica at
its best. If I were to make one criticism of this album, it would be that
none of the tracks are quite as
memorable or as catchy as anything from the EP In a Beautiful
Place Out in the Country. Having
said that, both Music is Math and
1969, are visceral and exquisitely
well made. Geogaddi is a beautiful,
dense, elusive and ultimately
rewarding album, and is set apart
from its competitors by never
doing quite what the listener is
expecting. Gone is any pastoral
simplicity and naïve wonder that
Boards of Canada may once have
had; instead the listener receives
electronica that is dark in both territory and imagery and warrants
close listening.
.
.
.
e
s
l
BUY THIS! OrE
THE APPLESEED CAST
Low Level Owl: Volumes I & II
(Deep Elm Records)
The Appleseed Cast are based in
Lawrence, Kansas and have
been together for about 5 years.
Their previous two albums, End
of the Ring Wars, and Mare
Vitalis, both on excellent independent emo label Deep Elm
Records, had built up a cult following in the underground emo
scene, but with this new work
there is something extra going
on: nearly two hours in total
length, twenty-six beautifully
orchestrated songs appear on two
separately released volumes of
lush melody, expertly paced
dynamics and haunting atmospherics. Released separately, I
have reviewed the two albums
together because that is how they
should be conceived: as one work.
Building on their emo and posthardcore roots, The Appleseed
Cast have taken influence from
post-rock, electronica, and “Pink
Floyd and Led Zeppelin” (according to themselves) to create an
album unlike any other. Each track
runs seamlessly into the next, creating a soundscape whereby
“proper” vocal-led tracks are interconnected by atmospheric and
deeply moving interludes. Volume
II begins where Volume I leaves off,
the cinematic ending to the aptly
named View of a Burning City. (If
pushed, I would state that Volume
I is perhaps slightly louder and
more “emo” in nature whilst volume II is more laid back, gentle,
and post-rock influenced, yet as
previously mentioned, the two
need to be listened to concurrently). Both albums also feature beau-
fantastically titled two minute
anthems, such as Lightsabre
Cocksucking Blues, To Hell With
Good Intentions, Alan Is A Cowboy
Killer and No New Wave No Fun.
And who could forget The World
Loves
Us And Is Our Bitch? The threesome mix sloganeering (In the
midst of all the killing and skineating we forgot the loving) with real
lyrical intelligence, an arsenal of
succinct profanities (All of your
friends are cunts...), and Ian Duryesque wit (...and your mother is a
ballpoint pen thief ) Trust me, you
have the money to spend on this
regardless of how debt-ridden you
are... it’ll be an investment in youthful rip-it-down idealism and partytill-you-puke
exuberance.
Hopefully the world will be their
bitch very soon.
THE SUICIDE MACHINES
Steal This Record
(Hollywood Records)
us their fourth album Steal This
Record. The album kicks off with
The Killing Blow, which is probably
the best on the album. From then
on, Dan Lukacinsky’s thrashy guitar just gets samey and a little tad
dull. There is however, a nice ska
interlude in the shape of Stand Up
which all very good but just doesn’t
seem to fit in with the rest of the
rawk sound.
Their attempt at covering It’s The
End of the World as We Know It
(And I Feel Fine) is probably another highlight of the album but most
likely only because it’s familiar, and
really if they had to regurgitate
someone else’s work, they could
have chosen a tune more suited to
their punk-rock norm.
Jason Navarro is quoted as describing Steal This Record as “...the bestsounding record we’ve ever done.”
All I can say is I hope I never have
to sit through the previous works
of art...
To avoid the intense urge to cry
after spending those precious last
pennies on this rather effective
Frisbee, do as they say. Steal This
Record.
After ten years in the music business, The Suicide Machines bring
4/10
CW
tiful packageing and poignant,
personal lyrics: “And we could
hold hands/Bring back the sea/
And we could stand up/We
could believe.” This is so-called
headphone music at its very
best. Experimentation with
loops, echoes, instrumentation,
inverting tape, and changing
speeds has shown how a band
can truly find a voice to call
their own. Breathtaking.
10/10
JCB
9/10
JCB
BIRCHVILLE CAT MOTEL
We Count These Prayers
(Corpus Hermeticum)
Birchville Cat Motel is essentially
the work of New Zealander
Campbell Kneale, whose output so
far has been limited to small quantities of cassettes, vinyls and CD-Rs
released through independent
labels such as ‘Betley Welcomes
Careful Drivers’ and Kneales own
‘Celebrate PSI phenomenon’.
Although this release on Corpus
Hermeticum may do little to raise
BCMs profile it is certainly more
widely available.
We Count These Prayers is a vast
expanse which literally sprawls
across the its 64 minute running
time, and despite being devoid for
the most part of both rhythm or
tune, it is packed with an intensity
that engulfs the listener. Each of
the five tracks contained within
creates a stasis in which thousands
of buzzing frequencies dance like
trapped fireflies across the surface
of the speakers. Emphasis shifts
interminably from the fundamentals to the harmonics and back
again, recalling the high volume
drone music of La Monte Young
and Phil Niblock, as BCM tap into
the hidden timbres of the guitar/
amp combo as well as reed instruments and chimes.
More recently this album recalls
the collaboration between Flying
Saucer Attack and Tele:Funken
from a few years back, but whereas
that album tends to leave one cold,
We Count These Prayers burns with
such ferocity that it threatens to
incinerate the room.
9/10
TH
MCLUSKY
mclusky do dallas
(Too Pure)
“Secret fuhrers got your tongue
and bitches got your car, and if it
wasn’t for the ‘86 World Cup it
wouldn’t have got this far.” I didn’t
realise that people
still wrote lyrics like this, but if
you’d grown up amongst a race of
whining, rain-sodden sheep molestors you’d be pissed off too. mclusky
(from Cardiff ) are here and ready
to insert an entire fireworks display
into Kelly Jones’ rectum with this,
an album which must rival The
Hives for the Best Short Album of
2002 (all crammed into just 36
minutes.)
And, as you might expect, mclusky
do dallas is packed with thrashy
punk rock, and a whole host of
9/10
RH
AURORA
Aurora
(Strictly Rhythm)
If you were wondering what has
happened to the Corrs recently
(wasn’t everyone?) then here is
your answer. Aurora snuck into the
sisters’ incestuous lesbian love nest
in the dead of night and stole all of
their new songs. And then the
cheeky bastards put them onto
this album. Okay, so they’ve got a
spaced-out beat behind them, but
the Corrs did that when they
rejected their Irish roots and wanted to actually sell records.
Okay, so that’s slightly unfair to
Aurora; they haven’t just nicked
Corrs songs. Your Mistake sounds
like Natalie Imbruglia, The Day It
Rained Forever sounds like a lightweight Ultra Nate, and If You Could
Read My Mind sounds like the balladeering of one of those 80’s stadium-filling divas... perhaps Barbra
Streisand. Lizzy Pattinson does
have a crystal voice, and the acoustic guitars and violins aren’t offensive per se. In fact they’re as inoffensive as the British Airways
adverts that inspired them.
Don’t expect anything new, but
PAGE 5
30TH
22nd March 2002
ALBUMS
and 70s funk and R’n’B under the
guise of Free Association (Holmes’
new project). The jazzy, bluesy feel
to this record will make you think
you’re in New York in the 70s, and
more importantly, it will make you
want to get up and dance. After
the widespread success of 2000’s
Bow Down To The Exit Sign and the
soundtracks to Out of Sight and
Ocean’s 11, David Holmes has now
proved he can do it all with the
ultimate mix album.
7/10
ES
ALFIE
A Word In Your Ear
(Twisted Nerve)
LE FLY PAN AM
Ceux Qui Inventent N’ont Jamais
Vecu (?)
(Constellation)
After their stunning eponymous
debut in 99 and follow up 12” in
2000, Fly Pan Am (or Le Fly Pan Am
as they seem to have renamed
themselves!) return with a second
full length. Ceux Qui Inventent
N’ont Jamais Vecu literally means
‘those who invent have never lived’,
and the track titles, also in French,
are no less intriguing: Jeunesse
Sonique, Tu Dors (En Cage) means
‘Sonic youth, you are sleeping (in a
cage)’; and Rompre L’indifference
De L’Inexitable Avant que L’on
Vienne Rompre le Sommeil de
L’inanime means ‘Break the indifference of the unexitable before
we come to break the sleep of the
inanimate’. The message of this
album is clear: stand up and live.
Which is all very well, but I’m quite
happy sitting listening to this
thanks.
The music is fragmented, stitchy
and unpredictable. You know, the
kind that your parents claim isn’t
music at all... But we know it is.
What kind of music is another
question altogether. Fly Pan Am
seem to defy classification- fusing
funk, instrumental rock (postrock?), and electronica to create a
sublime aural collage.
Oh, and don’t be fooled into thinking your CD player is broken or the
record is scratched. It’s supposed
to sound like that.
8/10
ES
GOMEZ
In Our Gun
(Hut)
When it comes to picking bands
for future fame and fortune my
track record isn’t exactly glowing.
PAGE 6
Alfie, a Lancastrian five-piece
Dark Star, Puressence and the Beta armed with a French Horn and a
Band are just three of the bands cello, fervently claim they are punk.
I’ve put the kiss of death on with Now I think they sound more like
my misguided “Biggest Band In badly Drawn Boy than Minor
The World” predictions. But if Threat, but who am I to disagree?
there’s one band I picked right Their singer Lee Gorton claims they
from the start, it’s Gomez. Back at are punk because they ‘do what
Glastonbury ‘98 when dullards they want’ and ‘don’t sound like
such as Blur and Pulp were set to anyone else.’ Whatever. It sounds
be headlining, I turned out at 11 ‘o’ good anyway. I first saw Alfie live a
clock a.m. in the heaving mud to couple of years ago when they had
witness the greatest performance a minor slot at All Tomorrow’s
of the weekend. Taking the main Parties and I was immediately
stage only because of a last minute drawn in by their undeniable
cancellation (they also later played charm and on stage presence. Two
the New Bands Tent) Gomez years down the line, and this transappeared in wellies and cagoules lates well onto record. A Word In
and proceeded to blow the tiny Your Ear is a brief but enjoyable
crowd away.
One year, one album and one
Mercury Music prize later Gomez
were back at Glastonbury, this time
headlining the second stage, and
were already well on the way to
becoming tedious. With the release
THE FUZZ EFFECT
of third album In Our Gun Gomez
The Fuzz Effect
display an empty dried-up well of
ideas. While debut Bring It On
The fuzz effect are a very interoverflows with charisma which
esting and exciting band who
justifies even the cheesiest harmoare certainly pointing at one of
nising, In Our Gun is a dirge of illthe directions out of the stagthought out
nant quagmire that guitar
electronics and guitar, relieved
based music has been in for
only by the title track, a bland
some time now. They’ve been
melodic song which is the most
together in various guises since
listenable thing on here. Hopefully
1997 and have been gigging,
the inevitable poor sales of this
mainly in the Cardiff/Newport
album will inspire Gomez to reconarea, since December of that
sider their current direction.
year.
They’ve been in their current
2/10
form ever since the start of
TH
2000 and thus have had a reasonable amount of time to
DAVID HOLMES
hone their skills into the awe
Come Get It I Got It- Introducing
need. The first song, ‘No Disco
Free Association
Please (We’re British)’ is remi(13 Amp)
niscent of early Clinic due to
the guitar riff. It’s got ska horns
This first release on Belfast-born
and a funky rhythm and some
DJ David Holmes’ very own label
funk soul brother wah-wah
‘13 Amp’ bodes well for the future
break downs. Oh, and some
of the mix album. Come Get It I got
nice hand claps at the start. It’s
It is a euphoric combination of 60s
well put
folksy-wolksy musical journey.
However, all the songs are pretty
samey so don’t expect groundbreaking experimental music or
anything.
6/10
ES
FRED FRITH AND NOEL AKCHOTE
Reel
(Rectangle)
Guitarist Fred Frith first made
waves in the British underground
rock community in the late sixties
with the fiercely political Henry
Cow. Following their eventual dissolution Frith moved even further
from the rock mainstream through
improvised solo albums in which
he developed various techniques
of modifying his guitar. He also
partook in collaborations with the
likes of avant-jazz heroes John
Zorn and Bill Laswell.
On this mini-album, available only on 10”, Frith teams up
with Rectangle Label boss and fellow guitarist Noel Akchote to wield
a fascinating array of sounds. The
metallic scrapes and distorted spittles of sound occasionally give way
to bizzarely constructed industrial
rythms, but for the most part Frith
and Akchote limit themselves to
probing away at each others musical bodies until the guts come
spilling out.
Demo-lition
together, very professional and
fundamentally, it’s catchy.
Second song ‘Cool As A
Cucumber’ bears traces of punk,
the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, the
Happy Mondays and some
wouldn’t exist had Joy Division
not left their mark on the world.
There is some pretty crazy synth
sketch-outs to keep it interesting as well.
The final song, ‘Daytime TV’,
displays the traits of one of their
admitted influences, Blur, circa
‘Parklife’ due to some of the
vocals and guitar riffs. This isn’t
in a rubbish retro Britpop way
either.
The Fuzz Effect are good. I only
hope they can get a driving
licence between them and get
on some sort of a national tour.
It’d be nice to see them live.
8/10
CAPITOL K
Island Row
(XL)
Those of you who follow electronica will notice that Capitol
K has already released an
album under the same name.
This is essentially the same
album reworked - still as good
now as it was then, maybe
even better.
7/10
TH
CYCLEFLY
Crave
(M.C.A.)
Decent metal, with an acoustic edge sharper than many
of its counterparts, and
good... if you like that kind of
thing.
7/10
RH
DEL AMITRI
Can You Do Me Good?
(Mercury)
Half-decent if a little dull and
drawn out towards the end,
like water torture with an
acoustic guitar. Not bad,
though the phrase ‘one-trick
pony’ comes to mind.
5/10
RH
ALEX LLOYD
Watching Angels Mend
(EMI:Chrysalis)
A lo-fi natural progression
from his acclaimed 2000
offering Black the Sun.
Country tinged, emotive
songs that see him placed in
the singer/song writer bracket, probably a bit too highbrow and detached for most
people’s tastes. Likened to
Beck and Elliot Smith he
draws some influences from
the likes of Radiohead, Talk
Talk and Turin Brakes but fails
to reach any of their highs.
Pleasant enough though.
6/10
PC
Raj against the machine
22nd March 2002
The Edge talk to Cornershop’s Ben Ayers
Do you remember Cornershop?
They’re the ‘one-hit wonders’ that
made it big in ‘98 with Norman
Cook’s remix of Brimful of Asha.
Well they’re back with their latest
genre-straddling
offering,
Handcream for a Generation. It’s
fuck all use on eczema but does
signal Ben and Tjinder’s return to
the visible music scene and, after
Clinton (their project which failed
to capture the public’s imagination
in ‘99), Ben is relishing a return to
the public ear...
“We were excited about picking
our guitars again after Clinton,” he
said, “and we were listening to a lot
of reggae, and the X-ecutioners,
when we were working on this
album, so they’ve probably influenced us. But when we’re working
we tend to shoot off in all kinds of
directions. We try to stay openminded and not rule anything out,”
in similar style to The Avalanches
and The Beta Band, both welcome
additions to the music scene since
‘Brimful of Asha’, but whose innovative sound stifles widespread
popularity and commercial success. Cornershop’s last album
When I Was Born For The 7th Time,
however, successfully combined
creativity with stunning commerciality, so did they feel pressure to
follow it up?
“No, not really. We successfully
didn’t think about it and it’s come
out better than we expected. The
sound on it’s really moving forward.”
So was recording it any different?
“Well we began recording in
Preston like last time, and finished
in Eastcote. We had Rob Swift (of
the X-ecutioners) working with us,
and we did some 12-inch vinyl
dubs of some of the early tracks.
But apart from that it was very
similar.”
One notable difference on
Handcream... is the number of collaborations- US Soul star Otis Clay,
for example, on the album’s opener Heavy Soup, and the original
Oasis bassist Paul McGuigan on
recent single Lessons Learned
From Rocky I to Rocky III. And
then, of course, there’s Noel
Gallagher, so what was it like working with him?
“It was good. We toured with Oasis
in ‘98 and got on really well. And
we also worked with him on a
track for the Clinton album but
never got that finished.”
Finding Gallagher’s contribution
to the album shouldn’t present
much of an obstacle; it’s on the
14-minute epic Spectral Mornings,
the track they recently remixed for
24 hours non-stop. But why?
“Well we looked at all the long
tracks from the past and just wanted to do it. We tried it on an LP just
to see how long we could get it,
but the longest we could have
done was an hour, so we looked
for other ways and that’s where
the idea of streaming it live on the
Internet came from. It took a hell
of a lot of stamina!”
Well you can’t say that they’ve
been idle since disappearing, having also made a contribution
(Returning From The Wreckage) to
the ‘Village Voice’ charity LP for the
New York attacks. That’s not the
only reason to talk about New
York, though. What about NME’s
favourite five retro punks (The
Strokes)?
“Yeah, they’re pretty good. They
seem to have a bit of attitude, but
I prefer The White Stripes, and I’d
rather listen to The Stooges or
Velvet Underground. And the new
Streets album. I’ve been listening
to that a lot.”
And what don’t you like?
“Well anything that’s been put
together by companies. I mean, it’s
all too money-driven, but it’s not
just kid-processed stuff. In fact it’s
probably not as bad for kids, but
for everyone else... it’s insulting to
their
intelligence. Lots of people have
forgotten how to be cool.”
Fred Durst?
“Yeah, I’m not a fan. It just seems
like bad music involving fashion.”
So there you go. Cornershop is
open for business once again, but
if you still think they’re a one-hit
wonder, here’s Ben’s special message:
“Go and check out our stuff and
you’ll find out it’s not the case. Just
do some research.” Perhaps the
new album would be a good starting point...just a thought.
PAGE 7
30TH
22nd March 2002
BRICK AWARDS
After staying up every night for the past week on a
diet of pure speed and pot noodles just to count up
the thousands of votes ................. Here are the BRICK
Award winners in full
The legendary and respected award itself
BEST BAND
SMERIN’S ANTISOCIAL
CLUB
BEST MALE
APHEX TWIN
BEST FEMALE
KYLIE
BEST LIVE ACT
PAGE 8
SUPER FURRY ANIMALS
BEST DJ
HYPE
BEST ALBUM
‘LET IT COME DOWN’ SPIRITUALIZED
BEST SINGLE
‘BODYROCK’ - ANDY C &
SHIMON
BEST SUSU EVENT
POUNDSTRETCHER
23/11/01 (AKA
SMUTSTRETCHER)
TOP TV SHOW
LOUIS THEROUX
TOP FILM
LORD OF THE RINGS
KNOB OF THE YEAR
PAUL CORNWELL
BEST BAND SPLIT
STEPS
SEPTEMBER 11TH
AWARD FOR SICKENING
AMD OVER THE TOP
PATRIOTISM
THE WESSEX SCENE
(NOT THE EDGE)
SO SOLID CREW AWARD
FOR THE BEST BEATING
OF A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD
GIRL
SO SOLID CREW
Jason Pierce
barely managing to contain
his excitement
as he recieves
his BRICK Award
for best album.
Photos: Paul Cornwell
We know the anticipation has been
unbearable for you
all, especially with all
of the minor award
ceremonies in the
run up to the BRICKS,
so here are the
results, as voted for
by you!
22nd March 2002
The Edge hangs out with the
stars at...
The Nme Carling awards
John and Alison with Ash Atalla- producer of ‘The Office’
The Edge’s John McKenna with his very own award!
Tuesday mornings. Like many
Southampton students, I find them
to be characterised by the desire
to be still, for fear of being ill and
increasing the pounding behind
my eyes which, along with the
kebab stains, is the masochistic
residue of a previous night’s carnage at Jesters/Kaos. A couple of
weeks ago, however, I had the
pleasure of inflicting my Tuesday
morning pain on myself in surroundings slightly more glamorous than the delights of Bevois
Valley! (Believe me, I escaped, it is
possible!!) Courtesy of those lovely
people at Strongbow and Squares
(and my sister Alison who won the
tickets!), I spent Monday, February
25 getting drunk with some of the
coolest people from the music
world at the NME Carling awards at
Planit Arches, Shoreditch, London.
The Brats, as they are more affectionately known, are one of the
few major awards in the music
industry to be determined predominantly by the public, rather
than stiffs in suits. NME readers
over a matter of months voted for
all their favourite things in the
worlds of music, television, and
film. Once the votes were all in, it
was time to party!
The awards ceremony itself took
place in the afternoon (though it
was delayed by Kylie being an hour
late!), and by the time I, your humble Edge correspondent, arrived
for the after-show party, things
had already started to get very
messy, with Brat award winners
swaying and staggering the most.
Within five minutes of arriving we
bumped into Tim Wheeler from
Ash, winners of Best Single for
Burn Baby Burn. For someone
who had a number one album
when he was just nineteen, he was
incredibly down-to-earth and
friendly, just simply enjoying the
“craic”. Impressively, as I bumped
into him several occasions, he lasted the duration and could be spotted still upright at the end of proceedings in the small hours of the
morning.
The same, however, cannot be
said for Nickolai Fraiture of The
Strokes. The triple Brat-winning
band’s bass player was quite clearly the Stroke in worst condition,
though they were all, with the
exception of guitarist Nick Valensi
(who left fairly early on with his
new pseudo famous girlfriend
Amanda De Cadenet), clearly
intent on making the most of
being the evening’s big winners.
Sat at The Strokes table, both
Alison and I tried to engage Mr.
Fraiture in conversation, but unfortunately, most of what came out
of the lips of the figure slumped in
his chair, glued to a can of Grolsch,
can only be described as a
Manhattan slur. Not far behind
the near-comatose bass player
was lead singer Julian Casablancas,
standing, but unable to string a
sentence together. He was also
noticed by your correspondent,
entering a toilet cubicle with
another gentleman - that’s the one
problem with fashionable parties
in London: the gents’ cubicles are
just as busy as the ladies!
The Strokes were the evening’s
biggest winners, winning Brats for
Best New Act, Band of the Year, and
album of the year for Is This It, their
2001 debut. I was lucky enough to
meet Gordon Raphael, producer of
the album, who was obviously
pleased about the award. He
revealed that he was in the country to “hook up with a couple of
bands over here”, and perhaps
record the British response to the
stunning debut by NYC’s finest.
Talking of producers, we also
bumped into Ash Atalla, producer
of The Office, winner of the Brat
for Best TV show. Or rather, he
bumped into us, started talking
to us, and even though we pointed out we weren’t who he
thought we were, he happily carried on - I wonder if there may be
some correlation between
number of awards won and
amount of alcohol drunk?
Although clearly pleased with
the award, he didn’t seem to
show too much regard for it, leaving it, as he did, with complete
strangers (including your correspondent) for large sections of
the evening.
Also spotted in attendance were
James Walsh from Starsailor,
LostProphets, Damon Gough
(aka Badly Drawn Boy) complete
with tea cosy, and Lauren Laverne
(remember her, Kenickie fans?!).
There were of course many other
stars and stalwarts of the music
industry in attendance, but they
have been since lost in a haze as I
behaved in the only possible
manner befitting a Monday night
and a rock ‘n’ roll party by playing
catch-up with Nickolai Fraiture
with the aid of all the cheap
Carling on supply.
John McKenna
An understandebly scared looking Tim Wheeler from Ash...
PAGE 9
22nd March 2002
Interview...
JASON PIERCE REVEALS ALL
IN WHAT COULD BE HIS MOST REVEALING INTERVIEW
EVER, SPIRITUALIZED’S FRONT MAN TALKS
GLASTONBURY, RADIOHEAD, DRUM ‘N’ BASS AND
DRUGS
On what was quite possibly the
first day of spring. The EDGE took
a trip down to the Novotel to
catch up with Spiritualized frontman and living legend, Jason
Pierce. The EDGE caught up with
Jason in his hotel room before he
played at the Guildhall that
evening.
EDGE What did you think of
the reception to ‘Let It Come
Down’?
JP
I don’t really pay any
attention to reviews and stuff, I
just get on with what I do.
EDGE But you’ve won the
BRICK award for best album and
you came second in NME’s top
albums of last year.
JP
Yeah, it is cool. It’s nice to
have a little recognition I suppose.
EDGE I interviewed Sean Cook
when I went to review Lupine
Howl last year. Obviously one of
the main questions asked was
about the break up. What’s your
side of the story?
JP
You just can’t do it with
people who are just in it for the
cash. Over a period of about a
year or so they just made it
impossible to work. They’d drop
out of shows, treble their money
and I’m not the sort of person
who reacts lightly. I always figure
if you give people time they’ll
come round. It became a nightmare, the whole thing just
became impossible and it just
seemed like what I wanted was
different to what they wanted. All
it was for them was what was the
easiest way to make the most
cash possible.
EDGEAnd that wasn’t part of
your plan?
JP
It never has been.
EDGE How different is life now
with Poppy (Jason’s daughter)
compared to your hedonistic
early days?
JP
She’s too young to complain to be honest. It’s different.
I’m not really going to talk about
this.
EDGE Fair enough. Do you ever
PAGE 1 0
see Richard Ashcroft around and
if so are there any hard feelings?
JP
I haven’t seen him in
ages. I see Kate [Radley, ex lover
and Keyboard player - now married to Dicky Ashcroft] quite
often, she came to the last show
in London. What’s with all of
these tabloid questions?
EDGE You’ve played some
amazing gigs - the CN Tower,
Glastonbury ‘98 and the Royal
Albert Hall. Are any of those your
best or have you got another
one?
JP
They were all kind of
events, you’ve only got to walk in
to the Albert Hall and it’s great,
they’re not necessarily any of the
best shows though.
EDGE Can you pinpoint one
that was though?
JP
They just get better,
we’re on a roll now where four
out of five shows will be hitting
the edge. The acoustics are quite
a priority at the moment, the
thing about the CN tower was
that it just wasn’t as good as
doing it in a venue with good
sound.
EDGE What was it like playing
Glastonbury then?
JP
The fact that people
were standing knee deep in water
waiting for us to play, it’s something else. It’s the best festival in
the world it really is.
EDGEAre you going to be
down at Glasto this year, or any
other festivals?
JP
I’m not sure that we’re
down for Glastonbury this year.
and then we go to America.
EDGE What sort of a tour have
you got in America?
JP
Thirty-two dates all over
the place. It’s the same size shows
as we play here really.
EDGE Nice. So when are you
going to start on the follow up to
‘Let It Come Down’?
JP
We’ve got five tracks
down already, one was released
on the back of the last single but
that’s not likely to be on the new
album in that form. The new
recording is more about documenting the sound of the band
playing, they’ve been recorded in
the time that it takes to listen to
track.
EDGE Has there been any
noticeable change in direction?
JP
The band are phenomenal. It’s been about recording virtually from playing rather than
trying to construct an album.
EDGE So it’s set to be less of an
exercise in orchestration than ‘Let
It Come Down’?
JP
Yeah, basically. I’ve been
listening to a lot of stuff and I’ve
realised that there is no right or
wrong. It’s all about what happens there and then.
EDGE So you’re going to do a
Radiohead then?
JP
What you mean a radical
departure? I think that the problem that I have with anything like
that is the bigger the change the
more perceived the sort of “hey
this is radical.” I always question
those moves that, regardless of
who they are, it always seems to
“ Great music is like ecstasy just overpowering”- JP
We’re trying but it’s so oversubscribed this year and it’s been so
on and off for a while now.
EDGE When are you planning
on taking a break and when are
you going back in to the studio?
JP
The next break is in the
summer between the festivals.
We finish up tomorrow in London
be a move that negates where
they were at before. I think it
needs to be more subtle. I mean
there was a heavy influence of
drum ‘n’ bass on ‘Ladies and
Gentlemen...’, I mean not perceivably, not like I’ve just picked up all
the tricks of drum ‘n’ bass. A lot of
the energy on tracks like ‘No God
Jason Pierce - spurred on to
greatness by the EDGE interview
Only Religion’ is so important and
stems from drum ‘n’ bass.
EDGE You like drum ‘n’ bass
then?
JP
Love it. I could make
drum ‘n’ bass, you don’t even have
to understand drum ‘n’ bass to be
able to say ‘Right I know how to
make that fast bass roll, I know
how to use an 808.’ But It’s got to
come from you. That’s why I
always question these radical
departures. They’re not radical in
that they push they’re music to a
radical new edge, they’ve just
picked-up on what’s hip. You
won’t be seeing a Spiritualized
free jazz record or a Spiritualized
drum ‘n’ bass record.
EDGE What did you think the
best albums of last year were.
JP
Just re-issues really, such
as the recent re-issue of Marvin
Gaye’s ‘What’s Going On’. I think
that if an album’s really good it’ll
find it’s way to me in a year or
two. Miles live at the Filmore was
a great one as well.
EDGE You didn’t go to uni did
you? So what did you do after
leaving school?
JP
I went to art college and
then put Spacemen 3 together. I
did the first term and got a grant
for a year then bought a guitar
and amp out of that.
EDGE What’s your source of
inspiration?
JP
That feeling you get from
making or hearing great music.
The feeling of the music making
the hairs on the back of your neck
stand up. Great music is like ecstasy - just overpowering.
EDGEAlmost finally, South Park
or Simpsons?
JP
That’s a tough one, I really can’t say.
EDGE Coke or Pills?
JP
Coke turns people into
market traders - up at 5.30 am
having a sincere conversation. I’d
opt for the latter though it
depends what they are really.
EDGE Best Pill?
JP
Uhh, I ain’t going to go
into that [he says chuckling].
Slight Return?
BLUETONES AND EASYWORLD
Southampton University
13/03/02
Easyworld opened their set with
a cracking rendition of U Make
Me Want To Drink Bleach, which
set the pace for the next half
hour. Dav Ford sporting a
naughty school-boy outfit and a
low-slung guitar energised the
show with his pained facial
expressions and obvious love
for his music.
The heart of the set was dominated by Junkies and Whores,
dedicated to the people of
Southampton, and 100weight, a
previous single.
Jo Taylor, the bassist, enchanted
half the crowd with her sultry
good looks and flirty glances
while Dav took the other half...
although was that amount of
mascara strictly necessary?!
Two previously unreleased
tracks Demons and You and Me
received rapturous applause and
are expected to be on the forthcoming album This Is Where I
Stand due for release towards the
end of the spring.
The band was later seen watching the Bluetones whilst talking
to fans and signing autographs.
It’s good to see that they value
their audience. Cheers to drummer Glenn Hooper for putting up
with my drunken ramblings!
The trio recently signed to the
Jive label after a mini-album
released through Fierce Panda.
The single Try Not To Think came
out last week. Who knows, they
might even better fellow
Eastbournites Toploader.
Oh, and Bluetones played too.
How do you follow an act like
that? Well Bluetones tried by
playing their tried and tested ‘best
of’ catalogue and attempting to
live off the nostalgia. To some this
worked nicely. There was certainly a great vibe within the
audience - loud cheers and
broad smiles. To others, it all
got a bit dull. They might have
been saved had they tried to
inject a bit of energy into the
performance. Guitarist Adam
Devlin looked as if he was
there because Mark Morriss
wanted to go singing again.
He appeared as though he
had consumed a few too many
beverages by the way he staggered to and fro on the same
spot, the bags under his eyes
didn’t help!
The new Bluetones album featuring FOUR new tunes (!) will
be out on the 8th April
following the single After
Hours on the 25th March.
Guy Williamson and Chris
Weekes
Slight Disapointment? The Bluetones
GILA MONSTERS AND
AESTHETES
The Rhino Club
Wednesday 13th March
THE
Wednesday nights at Rhino’s are
always a treat. And tonight was
no exception. However, for the
first time, I ventured away from
the main dance floor to see some
live bands performing in the
poky downstairs bar. First up
were the Aesthetes, a young,
well dressed three-piece with
bags of attitude. Their sound was
quite similar to Hefner, though
more electronic- and the singer/
guitarist even had the same
strange but striking voice. The
kind that really shouldn’t work
but does. After a too-short set,
another band took to the stage,
clad in furry Russian hats. At that
stage, I felt it was time to, err, get a
drink upstairs and stay there for
half an hour or so. So, sorry, but I
can’t tell you what they were
called, or if they were any good.
Most of the night is a bit of a blur,
but that bit has somehow totally
been eliminated from my memory. Nevermind,hey.
Next up were Gila Monsters, evidently slightly more experienced
(read-older) than the Aesthetes
and more used to live performance. Sporting long hair with lots
of headbanging potential and various band T-shirts (Amongst which
figured Appliance and Judas
Priest, strangely enough...), Gila
Monsters took to the stage. Well,
not really, because there wasn’t a
stage as such, but you know what
I mean. Now this band knows how
to rock. Seemingly influenced by
the likes of The Swans and Black
Sabbath, Gila Monsters managed
to make metal appealing to me.
And that is no mean feat. Actually,
perhaps classifying them as metal
is a bit too hasty, since some of
their instrumental offerings are
more reminiscent of a Mogwaiesque vein of post-rock.
Both bands put on a brilliant
show, in very different ways, and
if you get the chance to see
either of them live, I’d thoroughly
recommend it.
22nd March 2002
Live...
Surge.. now on your
wavelength
They say a change is as good as a
rest, and with Medication’s alternative room, that certainly seems
to be the case, if recent weeks are
anything to go by! The room,
playing a mix of less mainstream
genres at the fortnightly union
event, was taken over by Surge
DJs a few weeks ago, and the difference was plain to see from the
off. Access to greater levels of
manpower and resources immediately placed the revamped
“Surgery” in a different league to
its predecessor.
For the uninitiated, SURGE is the
snappy
acronym
of
the
Southampton University Radio
service from Glen Eyre (clever,
eh?). Originally available only to
students residing in the Glen Halls
complex through its broadcast on
1287AM, its output is now accessible through the SUCS network
(any computer that requires your
@soton.ac.uk user name and password), by simply tracking down
the website at http://surge.soton.
ac.uk and clicking on “listen”...
unless, of course, you fancy trawling through the interweb to find
it from the homepage!
Drawing directly from the policy
of the radio station (ie: anything
goes) but without stepping on
the toes of the other themes, the
Surgery aims to provide an alternative to the clichéd standard of
the ‘cheese room’, the ‘house
room’, the ‘same every week room’,
and if the turnout is anything to
go by, the Surge team have turned
the potentially “fringe” element
around, into a resounding success, maintaining a busy turnout
when the total numbers for
Medication reportedly dropped
by nearly half. The figures speak
for themselves; the move away
from the school disco atmosphere
that permeated the earlier alt/
rock room to a far more together
and professional outfit signals the
beginning of what promises to be
a highly successful franchise.
Its looking good for everyone
involved, but its only with the
continued interest of the organisers and consumers that the
Surgery can maintain such a quality product, so if you’re at all interested, why not take a look next
time you’re feeling peckish at
Medication (the Surgery is situated in Gordons coffee bar, in the
depths of the union building)?
Who knows, you might even like
it.... Guy Hiscott
Brimful of Asha
and the 45s..
THE 45s, KID GALAHAD, and
NEON
The Joiners’ Arms
Friday 22nd February
First up on this lonesome night at
The Joiners were Neon, although
initially nobody noticed what
with them looking like blokes
who just tune instruments.
They were, on second evaluation,
a decent four-piece who churned
their way through half a dozen
tracks before producing their
best (Which Way? and Goodbye
Cruel World) at the end. It was a
good solid opening.
Now please imagine, if you will,
leaving that Welsh bloke from
Hollyoaks unwashed and caged
for three weeks with a diet of
only Red Bull and amphetamines.
On his release you might have
something like Kid Galahad frontman Ash, who gave 5000% of
Jagger-esque theatrics. It may
have been that (with the frequent
and inexplicable cry of “Ole!”)
which won everyone over, or the
band’s unusual and electrifying
style, akin to a rockier Super Furry
Animals, or Britpop Blur with special effects. Whatever it was, it
afforded them spontaneous calls
for an encore.
Then finally came The 45s, with
some honest pretty-boy countrytinged rock. Unfortunately they
were subjected to an apathetic
gathering (and a heckling tosspot), with tambourine-wielding
Thunderbird-like Matt Hales trying in vain to charm everyone
back onside. If more people had
given them a chance they’d have
realised how good they were, like
a slower version of Fastball
(no irony intended), or a more
relaxed Von Bondies. And loud,
but not overly so. It’s the sort of
countryfied indie rock that would
take its shoes off so it doesn’t
traipse mud through your hallway, but maybe that’s a little too
reserved for The Joiners. Who
knows? It wasn’t that they “played
like tossers” (bassist), just that
misplaced indifference eventually won out and left their set feeling like an anti-climax.
All in all, it was a good night for
music, but maybe Kid Galahad
could have circulated whatever
Ash was on amongst the congregation. That might have got
some people moving!
Rich Heap
PAGE 1 1
Live...
IAN BROWN
Southampton Guildhall
03/03/02
and started again. Miraculously his
voice was now good, he could sing
in tune. Big up. And so he rattled
off a great version of Corpses.
Brown’s band are quite someIan Brown is a celebrity, mostly off thing. Boasting the largest percusof a band that only released two sion rig the EDGE has ever seen
albums, The Stone Roses. Sure he’s and Aziz on guitar, who instead of
got a solo career but what of it? fret markers had blue LEDs. Nice.
“Did anyone see The Stone Roses
You can count the number of
great songs Ian has released in his here in ‘95? Sold more tickets today
solo career on one hand. Therein I have. Bigger crowd today.” Brown
lies the problem. Well that and his said rather arrogantly before
all too well documented voice launching in to Forever And A Day,
a track from his latest album that
live.
Ian strolled on to the stage giving sounds worrying like Led
it all that. In his mind he’s the Zeppelin.
It was good to see however, that
daddy. He picked up his mic stand,
moved it off the stage and Ian is still backing the plight of
launched in to Bubbles from his Satpal Ram as he urged the rather
recent album Music Of The nonplussed crowd to sign the petiSpheres. He was so out of tune it tion out the front. “When you leave
was painful. I knew he was going you’ll see a petition to free Satpal
to be but I had hoped that all the Ram, can you please sign it. Thank
rumours were just from the anti you.” Did many people? Did they
fuck.
Ian Brown camps. But no.
A few more songs on, including After that brief display of humility
The Gravy Train and Shadows Of A the band started up the gentle
Saint, and a few moments of pos- intro to recent single Whispers
turing for the cameras, he decides which was nice, but the question
to pick on random members of on most peoples minds was Is he
the audience and call them gay going to do any Stone Roses? Then
“You’re gay, innit. You’re gay innit.” came along Stardust which too
Um right. Then he spat on the was very nice and also from his
stage, a recurring theme over the recent album.
One of the few from Ian’s second
evening.
Hooray Corpses! Ian whips out solo album Golden Greats came
the intro on his harmonica and next in the form of Loves Like A
then boo, his singing was still shit. Fountain and then, gasp, the riff
What’s this though? Ian walked off from Fools Gold. I knew he’d play
the stage just before the chorus some Stone Roses at some point.
leaving his band, which included But no, just the riff and then back
long time collaborator Aziz in to Loves Like A Fountain the
Ibrahim, standing twiddling their tease. You should have seen the
thumbs. Then he came on again crowd though, it took them a little
king monkey
Photos: Paul Cornwell
22nd March 2002
Ian sees red
while to realise it wasn’t actually
the entire version of Fools Gold.
Keeping on the Golden Greats
theme along came the incredibly
stupidly titled Dolphins Were
Monkeys. It then struck the EDGE
that the sound system tonight
wasn’t the usual one - it was super
phat, with ribcage rattling bass.
Safe.
Browny pauses for a moment and
then engages in conversation with
a few members of the audience
away from the mic. “If you want a
fight we can step outside.” Then he
stood there for a bit looking moody
like he was contemplating buggering off. Then a matey came from
the side of the stage and talked in
to Ian’s ear. Then Ian addressed the
whole crowd “Fuck it. He’s right,
they can fight themselves. There’s
nothing going on down here, don’t
worry. Just a few nappies that need
PAGE 1 2
changing.”
F.E.A.R. soon got everyone forgetting about any scuffle and the
audience were giving big cheers
all the way for Ian. It was a good
version of F.E.A.R. as well, really
impassioned whilst still being arrogant. “Got any requests?” Ian asked
the crowd and then launched
straight in to a long thumping intro
to My Star as if to pre-empt the
crowd.
Unfortunately after his voice
being so good for most of the set it
gave out on My Star, which was
pretty gutting. As the song drew to
a natural close the band walked off
and Ian stood and kept, quite
annoyingly, repeating the chorus.
Out of tune.
It was a good gig, you pretty
much know what to expect from
king monkey, so there weren’t really any surprises. He’s a bit of a
22nd March 2002
shell ad
PAGE 1 3
30TH
22nd March 2002
Live...
raising the spirits
SPIRITUALIZED
Southampton Guildhall
Thursday 7th March
Opening a live show with the 24
minute closing track from your
last but one album would, for
most bands, be at best ambitious and at worst outright suicidal. Yet for Spiritualized’s Jason
Pierce it seems a matter of
course, and the small but devoted crowd warm instantly to the
tones of Cop Shoot Cop, an ode
to the perils of heroin.
When performing live, Pierce
invariably refuses to take centre
stage, preferring instead to
stand to one side and observe
his six onstage cohorts, all of
whom - with perhaps the exception of keyboardist and Coil
associate Thighpaulsandra - are
effectively backing band fodder.
On this occasion the band are a
well-oiled
music-making
machine and at times this makes
for a pretty uninteresting listen.
This is partic-
ularly true when he steps back
from the mic and allows the
band to take control. In this
manner, some of the less remarkable tracks such as Do It All Over
Again and Don’t Just Do
Something congeal into an even
less remarkable mess. They also
serve to deaden the effect of the
edgier tracks Electricity and
Come Together.
Fortunately, Pierce’s more beautiful straight-up songs prevent
the performance from becoming a soul destroying distortionfest. His hesitant voice is the
perfect compliment to the minimalistic repetitions of I Think I’m
In Love and the elegiac Lord Can
You Hear Me while the best song
of the evening, a pared down
rendition of Broken Heart proves
that Pierce doesn’t need a
20-piece orchestra to sound
buy the
soundtrack
“Just when I thought that The
Hives were my new favourite
(Swedish) band...”
PAGE 1 4
22nd March 2002
Live...
But Me No Buts - Shit name,
nice stance.
Matey from the Dawn Parade sings it loud.
Photos: Paul Cornwell
Miss Black America
Miss SLACK AMERICA
MISS BLACK AMERICA,
DAWN PARADE and
BUT ME NO BUTS
Winchester Railway Inn
21/02/02
The Winchester Railway is not so
much a venue more of a small
backroom in a quiet
pub. The crowd was
definitely on the
light side - the
majority being composed of band members, friends, family
and other guestlist
blaggers (such as the
EDGE). The crowd
was also very odd the biggest collection of shoe-gazers
since the last Smith’s concert.
Billed purely as Miss Black
America the evening was actually
a showcase for three small time
up and coming (?) bands in support of the Anti-Nazi league. The
first of which were The Dawn
Parade, a four piece with a psychotic bassist and an uncomfortable looking guitarist peddling a
mixture of good tunes with awk-
ward mid 90’s Britpap.
A few songs in the lead singer
tells the crowd the sorry tale of
the band’s recent incident on the
M25. The previous day, the first of
their support slots, on their way
from Suffolk to Bournemouth the
guitarist ran in to the back of a
shaky but soon got in to it - pretty good all in all.
Up next were But Me No Buts a
five piece who knocked out some
pretty fierce 120 bpm shit. Theirs
was a blend of fierce skate metal,
old skool punk and ska. The stage
was overflowing with energy and
Dandy Warhols, got straight in to
it. Just after the start of their second song however, disaster struck
when guitarist Gish’s guitar lead
flew out from one of his pedals cue mass frenzy onstage. It is
unfortunate however, that lead
singer Seymour Glass bears too
“This is for my favourite person:
George W Bush. It’s called Smile.”
Seymour from Miss Black America
truckby Watford. They then launch
in to Hope - a nice melodic
number with an echoey guitar riff
and vocals reminiscent of
Throwing Copper era Live.
Soon after this The Dawn Parade
play their forthcoming single Hot
July, which consisted of a pretty
fierce guitar riff. It could do well if
put out on decent release. The
Dawn Parade started out a bit
ska guitar licks, fast paced
punchy rap ska metal - they even
had a song that only lasted for
one minute and the drummer
had a double bass pedal.
After a blistering set by But Me
No Buts, Miss Black America took
to the tiny stage and began their
set. The four piece, who have previously supported the likes of the
Dum Dums, Dope Smugglaz and
much of a resemblance to Brian
Molko for his, or for that matter
anyone’s, good.
It wasn’t until the end of the second song that Seymour first
addressed the crowd, and even
then it was only “This is for the
Dawn Parade. It’s called car crash.”
After Car Crash Seymour tries to
ponce a drink off of anyone in the
crowd “Anyone got a drink I can
have some of?” Err.. NO get your
own.
After playing Liquid Silk Seymour
launched in to a mini tirade
against a certain US president
who is dear to all of our hearts
culminating in “This is for my
favourite person. George W Bush.
It’s called Smile.” A hint of irony
perhaps? Smile is reminiscent of
the Smashing Pumpkins’
Tonight Tonight in places.
Next came Miss Black America,
based around an Ash style guitar riff and possibly their best
song. “This is the last one
tonight. If anyone wants to buy
me a pint we really will suck you
off. Too many sharks in the gene
pool.”
The three bands were certainly
a funny mix to be sharing one bill
and it has to be said that Miss
Black America were slightly disappointing as the headliners and But
Me No Buts were the boys of the
evening.
Paul Cornwell
PAGE 1 5
30TH
22nd March 2002
dance
T.O.V. vs VAlve
DEDBEAT FESTIVAL
Photo: Joley Dickson
DEDBEAT WEEKENDER
Vauxhall Holiday Park, Great
Yarmouth
22-24/02/02
Trouble on Vinyl Vs Valve Sound
System @ The Rex Arena 02/03/02
If you’re into your Drum & Bass,
then you would only have to take
one look at this line up to know
that this was always gonna be an
ultimately phat night out. Residing
were some of the best DJs from
around the globe, including the
likes of Craze, Marky, Plus One,
Dilinja, Lemon D, Hype, Andy C
and the list just goes on. This was
coupled with vocal geniuses such
as Skibadee, Shabba, GQ, Fearless
and 2Shy but to name a few.
On first encounters with the Valve
Sound system, Bass resonance was
almost physically sickening, with
every hair on our arms and down
the back of our necks standing to
attention. To be honest there are
no words that can describe accurately the way that it made us feel,
but it was impossible to keep the
smiles off our faces as this much
bass is just funny. Wherever you
were in the main room you were
guaranteed to feel the rumblings
through your chest.
The Rex Arena looked excellent
with some superb laser effects and
the stage decked out with a boxing ring containing the two sets of
decks of Valve and TOV.
Unfortunately there were technical difficulties with the TOV sound
PAGE 1 6
system so it was only used for the
very beginning of the night, but
the valve sound system proved to
be far from disappointing.
It was midnight before we knew
it and on came DJ Craze back to
back with Plus One battling it out
with some of the most clinical
mixing & scratching you could
ever hope to see. We were blown
away with the variety of records
played from the latest white labels
such as the newest ‘Champion
Sound Remix’ (BAD) through to
classic oldskool D&B party tunes
such as ‘Terrorist’ and the ‘Ready or
Not’ bootleg.
Next to don the boxing ring taking the masses by storm were
Lemon D and Dilinja. With the
Valve Sound system being personally tailored to suit Dilinjas sound,
this was a show not to be missed.
Dillinja played a particularly phat
dubplate, couldn’t tell you what its
called but you’ll know it when you
hear it, it’s gonna be a classic.
The night went on moving from
amazing to unbelievably amazing.
Our highlight of the night had to
be Bad Company dropping a remix
of Planet Dust, which is sure to
have the crowds behaving like
mentalists every time. Marky performed up to his usual mind blowing standard, although this time
not playing his Brazilian style but
some of the darkest of D&B heard
throughout the night.
The music sustained awesome
quality, all artists performed to the
high standard that you expect
from such big name DJs, with the
exception of‘The Great Grooverider’
who was totally shameful, sucking
complete ass. Either he can’t mix
any more or he just doesn’t give a
shit.
The crowd were fairly lame as
Andy C rounded off the night,
when his set was finished people
were quick to walk away without a
shout for one more.
We’d like to talk more about the
Hip Hop room, which was pretty
funky but we didn’t find it until
5.15a.m and as for the Oldskool
room, where the hell was that?
This however was not a shame, as
the D & B room was impossible to
leave. All we can say is that you
have not experienced Drum & Bass
to it’s full potential unless you have
experienced the Valve Sound system. During 3 years of Drum &
Bass clubbing, this is without a
doubt the best night either of us
has ever been to.
Graeme Robertson and
Joley Dickson
There’s nothing like a good festival
to brighten up a cold and depressing February, and in the lack of
choice I decided to go to Dedbeat.
If you like hip hop then the line up
was nothing short of spectacular.
Representing everything from the
up and coming talents of local
Norwich boys Deftex playing their
soon to be classic ‘Sycronize’ with
that distinctive Jurassic Five flavour, right through to the established classics of Doug E Fresh and
the get fresh crew driving the
crowd wild with the old school
vibe.
Another big crowd pleaser, The
Herbaliser, showed up in full glory
with an 11-piece band including a
full on brass section that naturally
went down a storm. If any proof
was needed to back up the rumours
of an imminent full-scale drum and
bass invasion of the airwaves then
Dedbeat was it. Make no mistake
this was a serious hip hop event
full of nothing but the most dedicated of hood wearing b-boys and
dreadlock sporting rude girls, yet
both Friday and Saturday night in
the main room was a strictly drum
and bass affair.
The first offering came from the
infamous Heavies, a collaboration
of Nicky Black Market, Plus One,
the jungle drummer and Rodney P.
With names like this I really did
expect to be impressed, the jungle
drummer alone would have been
enough to get me going, but
unfortunately something was
decidedly wrong. Both the scratching from Plus One and Nicky’s mixing were a bit weak, and as a result
the whole act was messy. Although
in their defence I’m blaming the
sound man who seemed to be
having a volume battle with the
DJ’s.
Nicky Blackmarket - Weak
So after that slight disappointment the crowd were in a slightly
subdued state, not sure if they
were up for it or not, so the next
act, 4 Hero had a job on his hands.
A job which he is only to skilled at,
reading the crowd like some freaky
psychic persuading even the most
heavily stoned b-boys to give it
some dance floor action, all to the
modest sounds (a very rare thing)
of MC MG, fantastic.
Saturday’s drum and bass offerings were from DJ craze, a tiny little
bloke who plays well known tunes
in a way so original that even the
keenest amongst us had no idea
what was going on, a true genius.
After this scratch attack it was time
for the incredible frequencies of
Dillinja + Lemon D, if you haven’t
seen these two you may wonder
what I mean by this, all I can say is
that they were maybe one or two
decibels away from the ‘brown
noise’, wicked.
Sunday, rise and shine to a frenzied clear-up-the-shit-in-the-chalet to get the deposit back. Then
more games of pool and over to
the pool where people had become
so dissatisfied with the slide that
they’d taken to leaping off the top
rather than going down it. And at
waters edge, live hip-hop. Nice and
surreal. Lots of people splashing
youthfully, lots of other people
head nodding and hangin’. Holiday
camp meets city. Now this wouldn’t
be a good review without at least
some mention of the place itself.
I’ve purposely avoided this to an
extent cos’ to be fair it was Lame.
We’re talking Butlins, without the
frills. It sounds OK, with a pool,
skate ramp, free bowling, huge
poolroom large arcade, ten birth
mobile homes and yet it was somehow all so tacky.
To be honest though, who gives a
shit it’s still leagues ahead compared to roughing it in a tent, and
this really was one event where it
was all about the music.
22nd March 2002 30TH
dance
albums
JON MARSH
Fabric 03 - Jon Marsh
(Fabric Records)
March the 4th sees the release of
Fabric 03 compiled and mixed by
the clubs progressive house resident, Jon Marsh.
The choice of tunes are representative of Saturdays at the club
and are mixed competently
enough, though as is the case
throughout the album, nothing to
get excited about. The resounding
b-line of Phillip Charles Elektrik
Dreamers is the seminal track on
the album standing out for its big
sound and energy, though this is
the exception and not the norm.
Without doubt the very best feature of this CD is the packaging
which encloses it - a very nice little
tin in which you could either keep
super thin pencils or alternatively
use it as a means to protect your
flattened spliffs from the elements.
This latest offering from the
London based super club will
doubtless not only appeal to those
who don’t like to break a sweat on
the dance floor but also to those
who like that ‘sophisticated background bar music in your lounge
feel’. My advice is do yourself a
favour and scour the land for a rare
but amazing copy of Sasha &
Digweeds’ Northern Exposure and
leave the rest of that progressive
business well alone - it induces
sleep and could give you a bad
case of milk.
5/10
TH
AIM
Hinterland
(Grand Central Records)
Fans have been patiently waiting
for nearly three years for the follow
up to aim’s (aka andy turner) seminal 1999 debut album Cold Water
Music. Given the brilliance of that
album, the potential was there for
a disappointing release. This was
somewhat exacerbated by below
par first single The Omen, which
was released two weeks prior to
Hinterland; a rather lacklustre beat
mixed with “gangsta-rap” style
mc’ing was not quite what this
reviewer, for one, was expecting.
However, panic over, because
Hinterland delivers on all counts;
in fact, the album is in many ways
more accomplished than its predecessor. From the opening Intro,
any fears are dispelled by the jazzy
piano and stop-start beat. This is
immediately followed by the
album’s killer track The Girl Who
Fell Through The Ice, which is
another collaboration with
Canadian vocalist Kate Rogers
(who provided the chilling vocals
to Cold Water Music’s ‘Sail’). With
the recent commercial success of
the likes of Zero-7, one feels that
the sublime mix of deep bass,
chilled beats, lush strings and soaring, haunting vocals could well be
the track to break aim to the general public. But let’s hope not: this
track is far more emotionally fulfilling than the current spate of “chillout” music that has been released
in recent years and is well worth
the album’s asking price alone.
After that the album moves into
standard aim territory, standout
tracks being the chilled out jazzy
hip-hop of What Do People Do All
Day, and Fall Break. Where aim
succeeds in bettering his previous
work is in the emotive charge that
each of the tracks on this album
carry: in addition to nodding your
head and shuffling your feet to the
delicious deep beats, you will feel
the hairs on the back of your neck
stand up on more than one occasion, a rarity in beat-led music. It is
also far more dynamic than most
music of the genre, employing
careful use of the soft/loud aesthetic. This is not a flawless album,
one criticism being that the dedicated rap-led hip-hop tracks (of
which there are only two) are too
“gangsta-rap” in nature. However,
the brilliance of the 11 other tracks
more than makes up for this, a
sublime mix of down-tempo beats,
deep throbbing bass, jazzy
arrangements, and soothing
vocals. Hinterland is, in the words
of the sample on Fall Break, an
album for “people who cry out to
hear something new.”
9/10
JCB
DJ HYPE
FabricLive 03 - DJ Hype
(Fabric Records)
Wow. This is an amazing album. It
probably wouldn’t be pushing it to
say that this is the best drum ‘n’
bass mix album available. The True
Playaz supremo has properly gone
to work on this 74-minute work of
filth. Darker in places than the
Sahara desert at night and at some
points bouncier than a speed freak
on a pogo stick.
If you know anything about drum
‘n’ bass, you’ll know that hype is
the daddy. He was when he was
one of the first DJs to come from
the start of the Jungle movement
and he still is now it has progressed
to the far more acceptable guise of
drum ‘n’ bass.
Hype opens with Moving Fusion’s
‘Thunderball’ which sees him double cutting like it’s going out of
fashion. Taking this into Brockie’s
‘Mars’ Hype lets the beats flow
whilst he scratches it up like only
he can do. Some of his scratches
last in excess of a minute and are
completely faultless.
To say that Hype is technically
perfect is an understatement you’ve just got to hear the way he,
apparently effortlessly, teases
tunes in, double cuts and scratches. He takes the idea of a mix
album and throws it out of the
window. He has turned a mix
album into a blank canvas over
which he can work his art. No mix
album will ever be viewed in the
same light again.
The blend of old skool (‘Lighter’
which is scratched up to another
level) with yet unreleased material
(the absolutely fearsome ‘Grimey’
by Dillinja) is characteristic of
Hypes live outings, particularly his
True Playaz nights at Fabric.
There’s the old staple of Bad
Company’s ‘Planet Dust’ mixed into
current wobbly fave Zinc’s ‘Ska’
which then gets the fuck scratched
out of it bad-style. Seamlessly this
then glides into ‘Squash by Total
Science and then it continues
apace taking in the likes of Trinity
(‘Jah’), Bad Company (the seldom
heard ‘Rodeo’), Future Prophecies
(‘Electronic Funk’), Bonafide
(‘Superbad’), Mist:i:cal (with the
chilled ‘Swingtime’) and Krust (you
guessed it - ‘Snapped it’).
Following this is a little run from
his True Playaz label with Zinc’s
‘Casino Royale’ sliding into Hype’s
‘True Playaz Style’ and then on into
Pascal’s ‘Jazz Juice’. Brilliant.
Bored of ‘Bodyrock’ yet? Yes? Well
check dis shit out. Andy C and
Shimon’s breakover dance-floor
anthem of last year has been filled
with more breaks and cuts than
Southampton General. Leaving on
a high note Hype leaves us with
Dillinja’s ‘Grimey’ - a filthy track
that has got to be experienced live
to understand the building, tension filled bass line and the shear
barrage of beats.
Out on 1 April, you’d be a fool not
to get it.
sinTHE
HERBALISER
WILDFLOWER
Good Girl Gone Bad
(Ninja Tune)
FEAT.
Jake and Ollie return with the first
twelve inch release from their new
album Something Wicked This Way
Comes (released on March18th),
and jolly good it is too. Wildflower,
the female MC hailing from our
very own Brixton, provides a raw,
reggae-flavoured edge that sits
particularly well with The
Herbaliser’s slickly produced jazzy
hip hop. The B-side’s somewhat
darker Verbal Anime remix, featuring Iriscience of Dilated Peoples, is
of a similarly high quality, and, on
the strength of these two tracks,
the forthcoming album is aptly
titled.
8/10
Alicia Keys - Fit
The Times suggested that Alicia
was perhaps the next Aretha
Franklin. I’m not so sure, but she’s
definitely worth it.
6/10
AU
BRANCACCIO AND AISHER
It’s Gonna Be ..(A Lovely Day)
(Credence Records)
Brancaccio and Aisher strip away
the layers of C&C Music Factory
sampled
track ‘Soul System’ and put them
back in the shape of a deep-rooted
slab of driving house in It’s Gonna
Be...(A Lovely Day). Apparently
very popular on the Ibiza dance
floors, it is evident thsi is a house/
dance track with potential commercial success. As the artists proclaim themselves, this is “forward
thinking dance music” and you cn
almost see where they’re coming
from. It is a dancey track but not in
a convential hectic way. The beats
aren’t too hard and the effect of
the shattering reverb-packed vocal
‘It’s Gonna Be,’ is soothingly mesmerising, and probably where its
success lies.
Its potentiality for mixing is obvious and it will probably be quite
impossible to miss this one.
6/10
SP
RW
ALICIA KEYS
A Woman’s Worth
(J Records)
So we all heard ‘Fallin’ and what a
good tune. Full of yearning and
tenderness and other soulful
attributes. But of course the followup single couldn’t possibly be as
good, could it? No, it couldn’t. ‘A
woman’s worth’ is full of proclamations about being “worth it” and
how it’s nice to be nice to your
lady, and in return, she’ll be nice to
you. Oh, and a real man knows a
real woman comes first, of course.
Ms Keys is clearly a talented artist,
producer, writer etc. Much of her
work seems to be modelled on
Soul Guru Stevie Wonder, (her
album, Songs in A minor being
perhaps a direct reference to
Wonder’s Songs in the Key of Life).
Organ riffs and lyrics about self
respect abound. It is therefore no
surprise that young Alicia has been
heralded as the “new hope” for
proper soul music. Someone at
S.I. FUTURES
Eurostar
(Mute)
A straight laced techno - lite theme
tune for underground channel
crossings ?
Maybe it’s an advert that escaped
my attention. None of the four
mixes are extraordinary ranging
from a Tipper remix sounding like a
cut from the overrated
quelch fest Mr Ozio album, to a
mild routine House workout.
4/10
DP
JADELL
Inside Looking Out EP
(Illicit)
Daft over the top descriptions of
both ‘ To Morning ‘, and ‘ Spanish
Fly ‘, when reality dawns they are
rather dull instrumentals. ‘ Testify ‘
then is a complete shocker being a
worthy mention alongside Jurassic
5 and Pharoah Monarch.
PAGE 1 7
22nd March 2002
It’s a kind of Majik
J MAJIK
Niteflight @ The Rhino Club
11/03/02
Monday nights have been the best
nights for drum ‘n’ bass in
Southampton since Squeeze left
the Paradise Club. It’s great that we
still do have good drum ‘n’ bass in
Southampton, it’s just a shame that
it rules out some serious party
action for some due to its location
at the start of the week. Niteflight
in Rhino’s usually attracts some
interesting names, none of the
super biggies, but they’re just getting boring frankly.
The line up included a Movement
resident (Wheeler), Scar, Karlito, a
young upstart with a lot of talent
(Frags) and of course one time jungalist J Majik. Joining them over
the course of the night were MCs
Smokey, Trax and Greeny.
Frags was displaying his usual talent cutting it up nicely and warming the sadly small crowd up in
preparation for Wheeler. Frags was
pulling out some nice tunes that
aren’t getting overly rinsed at the
moment.
It’s always nice seeing Wheeler, a
real home-grown talent. He took to
the decks in a furious cacophony of
beats and big ups from the MC.
Wheeler gradually increased the
crowd on the dance-floor by playing a good smut-lite set, though I
would have preferred a bit more
darkness. Wheeler dropped a lot of
the older and newer steadfast
J Majik
PAGE 1 8
tunes such as Andy C and Shimon’s
‘Bodyrock’, Bad Company’s ‘The
Nine’ and a very nice mix out of
Jorge Ben & Toquinho’s ‘LK’ into
the viscously overplayed ‘Shake it’
by Shy FX.
Wheeler also dropped another
tune from label-mate Marky’s ‘The
in the form of the fantastic ‘Up All
Night’ by John B. Such nice vocals
combined with such dirty, large
bass. J Majik then proceeded to
rather unadventurously rinse out
‘LK’ and ‘Shake it’. There’s really no
need in such a small club, it’s just
bad DJing.
dance
MARKY HITS
THE MARK IN
CARDIFF
Wheeler
DJ MARKY/DJ
STAMINA MC
The Welsh Club
08/03/02
Brazilian Job’ in the form of
‘Midnight’ Un-Cut. Wheeler’s set
was definitely female vocals heavy,
which is a fantastic thing as far as
I’m concerned - his penultimate
tune was the absolutely gorgeous
remix of Sunshine Anderson’s
‘Played The Fool Before’.
The transition between Wheeler
and J Majik was seamless and the
female vocals thing was carried on
J Majik’s mixing was technically
spot-on the whole night, but the
passion was never really there with
him and his lack of scratching left
some points devoid of energy.
Whether the crowd were quiet for
most of the night (even when
prompted to give the big-ups by
the MCs) because of this or J Majik
was lifeless because of the unresponsive crowd we will never
know.
One of the highpoints of J Majik’s
set was how he bought Zinc’s ‘Ska’
in, rolling off the back of the previous tune for some time before
being left in all it’s wobbly, bouncy
glory to get everyone in the room
shaking it about. His penultimate
tune was the all-pleasing ‘Planet
Dust’ which still never fails to rinse
out a crowd, though the reaction
was still not as it should be.
J Majik was unfortunately a bit of
a let down but the fact that he,
Wheeler and Frags were on a lineup on a Monday night can never
be a bad thing, even if some of
them aren’t performing as best as
they could do. There’s not a lot of
better places to go on a Monday
night. It should be going off in
future.
RECTANGLE/
Set in the heart of Cardiff, just a
few minutes walk from the
restored castle is the appropriately named ‘Welsh Club’. The
venue caters for a range of
musical tastes but on this particular night Precinct was running the show. The night was
playing host to Americas DMC
champion DJ Rectangle and
the drum and bass boy from
Brazil, DJ Marky alongside
Stamina MC. There was also the
local talent of High Contrast,
one of the most promising D&B
producsway. What was meant
to be an hour and a half set
turned into a three hour marathon due the late arrival of
Marky, but fuck it, HC was brilliant! Marky arrived and spent
the first five minutes checking
out HC’s latest dub plate,
motionless behind the decks.
Marky then looked up at HC,
both of them nodding their
heads in appreciation, before
he pulled out his own fresh dub
plate starting an hour an a half
of D&B perfection. Elsewhere,
the dub reggae room was consistently busy, though down in
the Hip-Hop room, where
Rectangle was lacing some mad
scratches, things were a little
quieter, no doubt due to the
masses packed in upstairs rinsing it hard to Marky.
If your ever over the boarder in
Wales check out the Welsh Club,
it comes highly recommended!
(If only the scene was as vibrant
and
alive
here
in
Southampton!)
Tristan ‘charlie made me go
quiet’ Hunt
DJ Break aka Peter ‘I ate all the
Marky - not in Cardiff though
ANIMAL RIGHTS- A
VERY SHORT INTRODUCTION
by David DeGrazia
(Oxford University Press)
This short, pocket-sized book
offers a brief but comprehensive
introduction to the issues that surround animal rights. DeGrazia
announces from the outset that
although he will try to be neutral,
he firmly believes that all animals
have rights, and do not -cannotexist solely for our use. However,
what entails is a well balanced, well
thought out discussion on the
moral status of animals including
chapters on the harms of confinement, meat-eating, keeping pets,
animal research, zoos and so on.
De Grazia’s approach is that of
the ethical philosopher yet he
takes us through each step of his
arguments simply, without falling
into complicated theory. He says
himself that this book is aimed at
anyone with an interest in animal
rights and not merely at academics.
Animal Rights- A Very Short
Introduction is a positive representation of the thinking behind
Animal Rights movements, and
will be a far greater credit to the
cause than the all-too-common
mindless activism so often associated with it. If you’ve ever asked
yourself questions about animal
rights and would like a clear overview of the issues, this is a mustread book.
Emmanuelle Smith
24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE- WHAT T
22nd March 2002
Books...
MORE, NOW, AGAIN
by Elizabeth Wurtzel
(Virago)
Do not read this book expecting
to be won over by Elizabeth
Wurtzel’s determination and a
cheery tale of courage and recovery from drug addiction. You will
not like Elizabeth Wurtzel, but then
a large part of her problem seems
to stem from the fact that neither
does she. Her relentless self-obsession and disregard for others often
becomes irritating and unlikeable.
However this is good news for a
book which gives an often appallingly honest account of addiction
and depression. It travels from
lows like a compulsion for tweezing leg-hairs leading to crusty
green abscesses (not the best book
to read over dinner) to great comic
scenes, such as an hour spent in
the county jail threatening to sue
for magazine deprivation. This is
Wurtzel’s third book, after Prozac
Nation and Bitch, and it is both sad
and funny, horrific and charming,
and recommended as a very
insightful read.
Go on... Smile! It won’t hurt!
Jo Clarke
WIN SIGNED
SPIRITUALIZED
GOODIES!!!
You can win the fanatstic goodies pictured above which include
two signed promotional
Spiritualized singles and a
signed photo of Spiritualized.
The photo was that used on the
front cover of the EDGE last year
and was taken at the
Portsmouth Pyramids.
The singles are promotional
copies of ‘Out Of Sight’ and ‘Do It
All Over Again’! All three were
signed bj Jason Pierce when we
presented him with his BRICK
Award. Just answer the question
below to win.
What band did Jason Pierce start
before he created Spiritualized?
Answers to: theedge@soton.ac.
uk
PAGE 1 9
30TH
FORAY INTO FESTIVALS
22nd March 2002
Summer is on its way, which
means only one thing - sunshine,
beer and music - you’ve got it:
FESTIVALS!
Isle of wight festival
after 32 years of absence, the isle of wight festival is back !
Headliners The Charlatans
The last Isle of Wight festival was
in 1970. Britain’s answer to
Woodstock, Jimmi Hendrix
played his last ever gig there.
But obviously none of us remember that which is why it’s so
exciting that the Isle of Wight
festival is back this summer!!
Organisers of the revamped Isle
of Wight Festival have confirmed
that The Charlatans will headline
the launch concert, Rock Island,
at Seaclose Park, Newport on
June 3rd. Also confirmed are
Ash, Starsailor Hundred Reasons,
and local band The Bees.
“It’s terribly exciting to have
such a fantastic line-up and we
are so proud to be reintroducing
the Isle of Wight Festival on such
a quality note,” said Councillor
PAGE 2 0
Shirley Smart, Leader of the Isle of
Wight Council. “We were always
aiming high and we have certainly
turned it into an exciting comeback event. Our biggest congratulations go out to Solo and Wight
Leisure who have pulled it all
together.”
“It’s especially pleasing to see that
at least two slots will be filled with
local Island bands. The Bees are
becoming increasingly well known
and, by including them as well as a
youth band on the bill, we are
inspiring all the Island talent with
an ambition and a realistic goal of
playing the stage in future years.”
Annie Horne, Managing Director
of Wight Leisure said : “Right from
the start we always knew that the
return of the Festival under its
new format would be hugely suc-
cessful and the whole event has
been extremely well received. I am
extremely pleased that when we
took the concept to Members (of
the Isle of Wight Council) they
could see the potential and growth
opportunities and had the confidence to support the Festival this
year and in the future.”
The festival will actually take place
over two weeks and will comprise
as many musical events of many
styles across the whole Island. A
Blues, Folk and World Music weekend will take place over 8/9 June
with a Festival finale of Jazz and
Samba on 15/16 June. A target of
over 100 events in 75 different
venues has been set and Wight
Leisure is confident these will be
achieved. Sounds good to us...
tickets are on sale now for
£30www.isleofwightfestival.com for tickets and more info
The ESSENTIAL Festival
What?
The Brighton based entertainment group come out for a double whammy hot on the heels of
their fantastic New Years Eve bash
in Brighton. Essential are holding
two festivals this year, one in May
and another later in the summer
and both look set to remain true
to form - excellent. The Essential
Festival began as part of the local
Students Union from where it has
gone from strength to strength,
also it is one of the only term time
festivals happening this year.
Where?
The first festival of the summer is
going to take place in Bristol’s
Ashton Court, a reputedly fantastic place to hold such a gathering.
The set up is going to be great
with varied cuisine on offer, plenty of bars, skating and boarding
displays, the cream of the graffiti
world and a huge TV screen so
that anyone who wants to go to a
festival and then watch a football
match can (the FA Cup Final’s on
apparently).
When?
May bank holiday weekend, the
4th, 5th and 6th May, which
leaves just enough time to get
the revision in for the exams after
the festival. The festival is a three
day affair , reverting back to it’s
original format of having a dance
day, a rock day and then a roots
day. If you’re wondering about
the weather messing the camping
up, don’t. The festival is noncamping and runs from 1pm to
11pm on the Saturday and
Monday and until 10.30pm on
Sunday, so get somewhere to
crash sorted in advance.
This year’s All Tomorrow’s Parties
UK will be held, as per usual, at
Camber Sands Holiday Centre,
Sussex. Unlike previous years,
however, the festival -curated and
headlined by Shellac- will take
place over two weekends.
Weekend one (19-21st April), featuring amongst others Godspeed,
Do Make Say Think and Smog, is
already sold out but there are still
a few tickets left for the second
weekend (26-28th April) featuring
Bonnie Prince Billie, Wire and
many others. What’s more, at ATP,
you get your own chalet (avoiding
camping in a muddy field), you’re
2 minutes away from a beautiful
beach, and DJs will see you
through the night at the bar. What
more can you ask for?
Tickets and further info from
www.alltomorrowsparties.co.uk
Why?
The line-up on each of the three
days is fantastic, see for yourself:
Saturday - Dance Day
Very special Headliner TBA, Phil
Hartnoll - Orbital DJ set, Lamb,
Royksopp, Aim Live, System 7,
Magikstar, Roni Size, Krust,
Grooverider, Fabio, Adam F, Ed
Rush, Randall, Hype, Die, Trex,
Richie Hawtin, Paul Daley, Andrew
Weatherall, Funk D Void, Rolando,
Felix Da Housecat, Billy Nasty,
Slam, Judge Jules, Sonique, Tall
Paul, Dave Pearce, Dave Seaman,
Lisa Pin Up, Lisa Lashes, Lost
Witness, Pete Wardman, Afro Celt
Sound System DJs, Fila Brazillia,
Layo and Bushwacka live, Thievery
Corporation, Herbaliser, UNKLE
Deck ‘n’ fx, Luke Vibert, Blue
States, Fat Tuesday, Gilles
Adam F .... err in his younger days
The best
of the
rest
22nd March 2002 30TH
Fabio and Grooverider
Peterson, Stanton Warriors,
Norman Jay, Scratch Perverts,
Plump DJs, Krafty Kuts v Soul of
Man and Kinobe.
Sunday - Rock Day
Supergrass, Beta Band, Shed
Seven, Ed Harcourt, Simian, Dog,
Tricky, One Minute Silence, Reef,
ADF, Therapy, Gorky’s Zygotic
Mynci, Sick of it All, Jello Biafra,
Capdown, Guttermouth, Randy,
Scuttle, Hundred Reasons, Sahara
Hotknives, Kids Near Water, Little
10, My Deaf Audio, Rocket From
The Crypt, Alec Empire, Add N to
X, Dirtbombs, International Noise
Concpiracy, Levellers, Six By
Seven, Coral and Leaves.
Monday - Roots Day
James Brown, De La Soul, ADF,
Herbaliser, Biz Markie, Rahzel,
Doug E Fresh, Hi and Mighty,
Cage, Smut Peddlers, Aspects,
hosted by Tim Westwood, Lee
Perry, Culture, Max Romeo,
Johnny Clarke, Levi Roots, Michael
Prophet, Pharoah Sanders,
Courtney Pine, James Taylor
Quartet, Koop, Snowboy and the
latin Section, Mr Hermano, Afro
Celt Sound System, Dreadzone,
Badmarsh and Shri, Zion Train,
Mad Professor, Kitachi, Iration
Steppas, Adrian Sherwood
Soundsystem, Mr Scruff, Qool DJ
Marv, Cinematic Orchestra, Crazy
Penis, Treva Whatever and Rob
Luis.
What’s the damage?
Tickets are £35 per day and are
available from the following outlets:
www.essentialfestival.com (no
booking fee if bought from this
site), Bristol Ticket Shop: 01179
299008, Replay Records 01179
041134, Ticketmaster 0870 53 444
444, selected HMV stores.
For up to the date information
visit the essential festival website
www.essentialfestival.com or call
the info-line: 09068 230190 (calls
cost 60p min).
Come on now, what are you waiting for?
Paul Cornwell
T In The Park will take place at
Balado near Kinross on July 13 and
14. Tickets cost £37.50 per day or
£62.50 for the weekend if bought
before April 14. Weekend camping
tickets cost £74 before April 14,
£79 after. The line-up includes: The
Chemical Brothers, The Foo
Fighters, A, The Beta Band, Gomez,
The Hives, Badly Drawn Boy, Ian
Brown, Black Rebel Motorcycle
Club, Tricky, Haven and No Doubt.
Glastonbury takes place where it
always does of course over the last
weekend of June, Friday 28 Sunday 30 June. Tickets are £100
including booking fee and are
available from www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/2002/tickets The
line-up is officially being kept
under wraps until all tickets have
sold out but acts tipped to play
are: The Charlatans, Rod Stewart,
Pete Townshend, Pink Floyd, No
Doubt and Oasis. It’s Jason Pierce’s
favourite festival you know.
This years Reading and Leeds festivals will take place on the 23-25
August. Tickets are not yet on sale
but rumoured acts playing on the
weekend are Blur, Foo Fighters,
Red Hot Chilli Peppers, and
Andrew WK.
For up to date info on all festivals,
go to www.efestivals.co.uk
PAGE 2 1
22nd March 2002
FILM
NONSTOP
PARTY
ANIMALS
24 Hour Party People
Starring: Steve Coogan, Shirley
Henderson, John Simm
Directed
by:
Michael
Winterbottom
The ubiquitous cry of ‘A-ha!’ is one
that will inevitably follow Steve
Coogan around for as long as he
lives. With the ridiculously guileless chat-show host Alan Partridge,
Coogan invented one of the defining comedy characters of the
1990s, and with the relative failure
of other personalities (recall the
sleazy Tony Ferrino, or last years
downright awful Dr. Terrible’s
House of Horrible), the names
Coogan and Partridge are almost
synonymous. Understandably,
then, Coogan seems anxious to
throw off the Partridge tag. Last
year marked his first foray into the
world of film with The Parole
Officer. More of a TV movie than a
cinematic blockbuster the film
relies heavily on the Coogan persona and made only a slight
impact on the box office.
Now Coogan is set to return to the
big screen with 24 hour party people, a fictionalised account of the
rise and fall of the Manchester’s
legendary Factory Records, and
the subsequent emergence and
PAGE 2 2
eventual demise of the equally
renowned Hacienda, both run by
Coogan’s character Tony Wilson.
Those of you of the right age and
regional origin (30 something and
Mancunian, which will pretty much
discount everybody ever likely to
read this article) may remember
Wilson as the slightly pretentious
“youth” TV presenter for Granada.
In the film, Coogan’s Wilson presides as father figure over the chain
of events which includes the formation of one of the greatest
bands of all time, Joy Division,
(later to become an Ian Curtis-less
New Order) as well as the Happy
Mondays.
24 Hour Party People is a hedonistic ride through Eighties
Manchester beginning in 1976,
when Tony Wilson is at a Sex Pistols
gig. Totally inspired by this pivotal
moment, he and partner Rob
Gretton set up Factory Records,
initially signing the shamefully
underrated Durutti Column and
later Joy Division and the Happy
Mondays. The rest, as they say, is
history.
Well, sort of history. At an exclusive press conference with Steve
Coogan, Tony Wilson and The Edge
in attendance, Tony revealed that
the film was, to a great extent, fictionalised. The film itself makes a
A Beautiful Mind
Starring: Russell Crowe
Directed by: Ron Howard
Tony Wilson (Steve Coogan) and first wife Lindsay (Shirley
Henderson) livin’ it up at Manchester Town Hall.......
joke of this fact, with real life people such as the Buzzcocks Howard
Devoto and nutter Mark E. Smith
who were there the first time
round making unlikely cameos. In
one particular scene, for example,
Devoto pops up to make it clear
that he didn’t really shag Wilson’s
first wife Lindsay in the toilets.
How accurate the film is in its
details, however, is largely irrelevant because the sheer atmosphere of the film, and the
Madchester era, makes up for it in
leaps and bounds.
Steve, as Tony, hails from
Manchester, and coincidentally,
actually did a couple of stand-up
comedy gigs at the Hacienda while
he was a student in the late 80s: ‘I
knew who Tony was at the time,
and I was into Joy Division. I
remember the perception of Tony
Wilson when I was at school, it
was cool to think of him as a bit of
a wanker. But I think history will
be kinder to Tony than people
were at the time. He’s a very interesting person. Flawed like we all
are but it was better he was there
than not.’
Tony’s character in the film undeniably has a lot of Steve in it, and
many parts are reminiscent of
Partridge’s trademark goofiness.
Was Tony frightened about seeing
part of his life portrayed on the
big screen? ‘Not really. A part from
being played by Steve. I mean I’m
a journalist and so I’m not in awe
of a lot of famous people. But I am
in awe of comedians, and Steve in
particular.’
And awesome his performance
certainly is.
When I tell you A Beautiful Mind
is a biopic of a mathematician who
won the Nobel Prize for Economics,
seeing it might make your list of
things to do just below watching
yet another re-run of Last of the
Summer Wine. But add the fact
that John Forbes Nash, Jr. was also
a paranoid schizophrenic who
became embroiled in government
code-breaking and conspiracy,
and it may begin to sound more
enticing. And I should probably
mention that Nash is played by
none other than Russell Crowe.
Interested yet?
A Beautiful Mind has quite a lot
going for it. Crowe is surrounded
by a talented supporting cast,
including the beautiful Jennifer
Connelly as Nash’s wife, Alicia, and
in particular Paul Bettany (who you
may recognise as being the best
thing in last year’s A Knight’s Tale)
as Nash’s college roommate
Charles. However, Crowe himself is
less satisfying. While he’s capable
of portraying the socially awkward
aspect of Nash’s personality - a role
which has similarities with his corporate whistleblower Jeffrey
Wigand in The Insider - he still
seems slightly too butch for the
role, and even Crowe struggles to
make Nash sympathetic. He’s simply not a particularly likeable character; despite Nash’s marriage
being pivotal to the movie, it fails
to show the audience what it was
that attracted her to him in the
first place.
Nevertheless, Nash’s mental disorder is portrayed well, and the
scene in which he formulates his
breakthrough reformulation of
game theory, based on the best
way for him and his friends to all
get laid, is particularly memorable.
The movie has enough to maintain
an ambivalent curiosity, but
doesn’t quite connect emotionally
with its audience.
A Beautiful Mind is Oscar fodder
if ever I saw it, and indeed has garnered 8 Academy nominations
along with a glut of other awards.
On one hand, it tells the gritty but
inspirational story of one man’s
triumph over mental illness; on
the other it is a fictionalised
account of Nash’s life, which omits
the less salubrious elements such
as his dabbling in bisexuality and
arrest for exposing himself in public. The implication that all he
needed was the love of a good
woman seems rather too simplistic and sentimental a conclusion
to a movie that is just a little bit too
gut-wrenchingly all-American and
wholesome for its own good.
22nd March 2002
FILM
The Mothman Prophecies
Starring Richard Gere, Laura
Linney.
Directed by Mark Pellington
For John Klein (Gere), a Washington
Post journalist, things couldn’t be
much better. Not only is he a successful journalist for the
Washington Post but he is also
happily married to wife Mary
(Debra Messing). On the way back
from visiting their dream house
which they just agreed to buy,
Mary crashes the car, avoiding a
‘dark creature’ which only Mary
could see. She is immediately
rushed to hospital, where they discover she had a brain tumour from
prior to the accident, possibly
accounting for the crash.
Two years later while driving at
night, Klein mysteriously breaks
down 400 miles from where he
thought he was, on the outskirts of
a small town called Point Pleasant.
When he calls at a nearby house,
he is apprehended by the owner
until the local policewoman,
Sergeant Connie Parker (Laura
Linney) arrives. When asked why
he seized Klein, the homeowner
states that Klein has appeared at
their house at the same time for
the past three nights. With confor-
mation from the owner’s wife, and
no recollection from Klein, did he
arrive in Point Pleasant by coincidence?
The next day when he picks up
his car from the garage, the
mechanic tells him nothing is
wrong with his car and there is no
reason for it breaking down (usually they would tell you something
was wrong with the car even if
there wasn’t!). Trying to make
sense of the circumstances, he
talks to Sergeant Parker and finds
out from her that there have been
several sightings of ‘Mothmen’ in
the area. Is this the explanation for
extraordinary recent events in the
area?
This film runs like a mediocre
episode of the X-files. It starts off
with a strange occurrence, then
Klein (taking the place of Mulder),
with the help of Sergeant Parker
(who has the sceptical traits of
Scully) tries to investigate it.
Having not personally read the
book by the same title by John
Keel, which the film is based on, I
don’t know where to point the finger of blame. Gere gives another
average performance to add to his
long list, and the supporting cast
do their best. The main problem is
the script, which is first and fore-
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Harbour Lights Picture House
Ocean Village
Southampton S014
Film Info: 023 80234234
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Wednesday at Boldrewood)
Film Info: whw@soton.ac.uk
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4 Ocean Way
Ocean Village
Southampton S014
Tel: 0870555132
The Odeon
Leisure World
Southampton S015
Tel: 08705050007
most the whole foundation to a
film.
The film claims to be based on a
true story. If it is true that this is a
true story, then Klein and the
inhabitants of Point Pleasant have
obviously been drinking too much
hippy juice. It’s probably about as
true as me telling you that by
reading this article you will gain
eternal youth and beauty (I could
be wrong!)
After leaving the cinema, I felt
none of the emotion one wants
from watching films: Being entertained, enlightened, excited, surprised, shocked etc. Unfortunately
I just came out baffled as to the
whole point of ‘The Mothman
Prophecies’, and wondering what I
could have done with the two
hours lost.
Niall McAuliffe
We Were Soldiers
Starring: Mel Gibson, Madeleine
Stowe
Directed by: Randall Wallace
A quick guide on how to make a
Hollywood Vietnam war film:
String orchestral music (preferably
something stirring and inspiring);
check, lots of helicopters flying to
said string music; check, helicopters landing in dust; check, an
impossible battle for the
Americans; check, a tough drill
sergeant who sees the young soldiers through; check, a gung ho
young officer who everyone
knows will probably die; check,
and most importantly, the message that friendship between soldiers in war overcomes all boundaries and soldiers are always there
for each other; check. Phew, congratulations, you’ve just managed
to make a basic film about the
Vietnam War. Now, if you were to
put Mel Gibson into a leading role
in this film, you would probably
have made something very similar to ‘We Were Soldiers’.
Don’t get me wrong here, ‘We
Were Soldiers’ is not a particularly
bad film. Unfortunately it’s not a
particularly good one either.
However the thing to look at first
is perhaps the big question which
everyone who’s reviewed this film
has tried to answer, ‘Is We Were
Soldiers flag waving American
patriotism because of the
September the eleventh attacks?’
Well, like everyone else I have an
opinion on this too, no it’s not. The
problem that filmmakers are facing in the aftermath of this tragic
event is that any film which shows
Americans doing well, particularly
in a military sense will be said to
be because of these attacks, so
making war movies becomes a bit
of a problem don’t you think? You
then amplify this effect when you
try and make a war movie about a
battle that America actually did
win, even if they went on to lose
the rest of the war. This is what ‘We
Were Soldiers’ has done, but, the
film does not appear to have been
made with these things in mind.
There is some attempt, more than
has ever been seen in an American
based Vietnam film, to show things
from the side of the North
Vietnamese. At the end of the day
the message that I gained is that
all soldiers, no matter what country they come from, are basically
the same. Unfortunately, while this
was a very good idea, like so many
other things in this film, it doesn’t
sit quite right. There was too much
of the Vietnamese for them just to
be getting a nod from the filmmakers but not enough that you
really felt like you gained an insight
into them, that the film was a better film for it. Likewise the idea of
periodically showing the wives of
the soldiers at home as the soldiers
were fighting was a good idea but
it just didn’t feel quite right for
some reason.
Mel Gibson turns in a solid performance as always, but it feels like
he’s just playing a role he’s played
before, the other main characters
are equally solid but again with
nothing to recommend them particularly highly.
At the end of the day this film is
standard war movie fare, nothing
more, nothing less. If you’ve seen
‘Platoon’ and want to see something with a similar look and feel
but nowhere near as good then
this film is for you. Otherwise I’d
say stay away.
Paul Jones
Ali
Starring: Will Smith
Directed by: Michael Mann
The question I was asking myself
as the cinema lights dimmed and
the opening credits rolled was this:
do we really need a biopic of
Muhammad Ali? I can’t argue that
he isn’t a worthy subject - he
fought not only inside the boxing
ring but outside it, championing
black rights in America in the
1960s and 70s. However, given the
abundance of documentary footage of the man himself (including
the acclaimed documentary When
We Were Kings), could this movie
add anything to our perception of
him?
The answer, it seems, is yes. Will
Smith gives the performance of his
career as Ali, from his victory
against Sonny Liston in 1964 when
he took the World Heavyweight
title for the first time (then as
Cassius Clay, a name he later
rejected as a slave name and symbol of oppression), concluding
with the legendary “Rumble in the
Jungle” fight against George
Foreman in 1974. It includes Ali’s
involvement with civil rights figures like Malcolm X, his refusal to
fight in the Vietnam War, and his
weakness for women (including
his three wives, one of whom is
played by Smith’s real life missus,
Jada Pinkett Smith).
Don’t go to see Ali expecting just
a boxing movie. Although it delivers several impressive fight scenes,
the focus is really on Ali’s life outside the ring - that is, the elements
captured least in the documentary
footage. At just over two and a half
hours, the movie does drag in
places, but never enough to get
boring. My main criticism is that
the narrative is often disjointed,
jumping from one point in Ali’s
career to another in a rather disorientating way.
The supporting cast does what it
ought to, namely fading into the
background in the light of Smith’s
powerhouse performance. The
exception is an unrecognisable
Jon Voight as sports journalist
Howard Cosell, whose banter with
Ali is a high point of the film.
However, the movie belongs to
Smith; an Oscar win for him would
certainly pack a punch, as no black
PAGE 2 3
30TH
22nd March
FILM
Here’s the rest of
those all important
nominations....
Best Supporting Actor:
Jim Broadbent (Iris)
Ethan Hawke (Training Day)
Ben Kingsley (Sexy Beast)
Ian McKellen (The Lord of the
Rings)
Jon Voight (Ali)
Whoopi Goldberg
(far right) hosts this
years Oscars with
nominations for the
likes of Moulin
Rouge (right), Shrek
(or should that be
Hear’say’s Danny,
below) and Amelie.
Best Supporting Actress
Jennifer Connelly ( A Beautiful
Mind)
Helen Mirren (Gosford Park)
Maggie Smith (Gosford Park)
Marisa Tomei (In the Bedroom)
Kate Winslet (Iris)
Achievement in
Cinematography:
Amelie
Black Hawk Down
The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship
of the Ring
The Man Who Wasn’t There
Moulin Rouge
Best Foreign Language
Film:
ust as we return home for a
well-deserved Easter break,
Hollywood will have yet
another huge, if not entirely
well deserved, party. However,
this is not just any affair,
because on the 24th March, at its
new home in the Kodak Theatre in
Los Angeles, Whoopi Goldberg will
be hosting the 74th Academy
Awards. Now, if you don’t consider
this to be a party, then I’m sure the
numerous parties that follow will
make up for this idea. Unfortunately,
I like many other people will be
left out from the event, not just
physically but also from the 2am
onwards viewing, since the BBC
has lost the rights to transmit the
Academy Awards and so there will
only be Jonathan Ross telling us
who won what etc. Obviously, the
BBC and I don’t have the same
ideas on what the Oscars are
about. I wanted to see the stars
walking down the red carpet, the
outrageous clothes, the glamour,
the tension as the envelopes are
slowly opened, the laughter and
screams, and the unnecessarily
long speeches.
This year, unlike others, there
doesn’t seem to be one clear winner that will keep getting up on
PAGE 2 4
stage -think James Cameron - making the Oscars a bit more exciting.
Although Lord of the Rings has 13
nominations it’s not quite standing
out from the rest, since A Beautiful
Mind and Moulin Rouge are both
close with 8 nominations each,
Gosford Park has 7, and films such
as the French smash-hit Amelie
and In the Bedroom have a fair few
as well. In addition, it looks likely
that there could well be a repeat of
last year’s surprise, with the ‘best
picture’ and the ‘best achievement
in directing’ awards going to different films.
This year, Ridley Scott has been
nominated for best director again,
along with David Lynch (for
Mulholland Drive) while Moulin
Rouge and In the Bedroom have
only been nominated for best picture but not for best director, which
does not happen often at the
Academy. The three that have both
nominations are Gosford Park, A
Beautiful Mind and The Lord of the
Rings. With The Lord of the Rings
not seeming like such an obvious
choice anymore, both the best picture and the best director awards
are very much open and look set to
remain a mystery until the night.
What comes as no surprise is the
Oscar nominations for ‘best actor’,
which this year could almost be
renamed as ‘actor playing the mentally challenged’, one of which is
Russell Crowe, for his portrayal of
John Nash in A Beautiful Mind.
Crowe has so far received a BAFTA
as well as a Golden Globe for this
role, but the Academy may well
decide instead to give the award to
Will Smith for his role in Ali, or
again for another mentally disabled role, Sean Penn for his role in I
Am Sam. Also nominated are
Denzel Washington for Training
Day and Tom Wilkinson for In the
Bedroom.
Likewise, the ‘best actress’ award
is
quite unpredictable. Sissy
Spacek seems to be a favourite
with In the Bedroom, but there is
also Judi Dench, who has been
very popular with the judges in the
past. Could she get another Oscars
for her role in Iris?
Spacek won the Golden Globe for
best actress in a drama, while Judi
Dench won the corresponding
award in the BAFTAS. It could be a
matter of national identity that the
Oscars will not get involved in, and
simply award Nicole Kidman for
Moulin Rouge instead… Renee
Zellweger looks pretty unlikely to
win for her portrayal of the British
‘singleton’ in Bridget Jones’s Diary,
while there is still Halle Berry also
with a surprise nomination for a
more serious role in Monster’s Ball.
The absence of a nomination for
Nicole Kidman’s role in The Others
is also a shock, especially since it is
for this role that she was nominated for both a BAFTA and a Golden
Globe.
Also ignored by the Oscars was
The Shipping News, the Indian foreign language film Monsoon
Wedding and The Man Who Wasn’t
There which received only one
nomination. However, there has
been a new category added; ‘Best
Animated feature film of the Year’,
which includes only 3 films, but
the battle will be between Monsters
Inc. and Shrek, both of which have
continued to improve the genre
started by films such as Toy Story.
So this year, I hope that the
Academy Awards won’t disappoint
with their many surprises. Awards
will be given out by the likes of
Cameron Diaz, Julia Roberts and
Russell Crowe, and there is a performance by Sting. Hopefully there
will be the odd swan dress or a
vintage Valentino to catch everyone’s attention, but unfortunately
Amelie (France)
Elling (Norway)
Lagaan (India)
No Man’s Land (Bosnia and
Herzegovina)
Son of the Bride (Argentina)
Best Original Song:
‘If I Didn’t Have You’ (Monsters
Inc., Randy Newman)
‘May It Be’ (The Lord of the Rings,
Enya)
‘There You’ll Be’ (Pearl Harbour,
Diane Warren)
‘Until’ (Kate and Leopold, Sting)
‘Vanilla Sky’ (Vanilla Sky, Paul
McCartney)
Best Adapted
Screenplay:
A Beautiful Mind
Ghost World
In the Bedroom
The Lord of the Rings
Shrek
Best Original
Screenplay:
Amelie
Gosford Park
Memento
Monster’s Ball
The Royal Tenenbaums
Wessexscene.co.uk
PAGE 37
Heaven and....
on the mattresses as they too are
brand new. I would go on but you
would begin to think I was boasting.
Our home and landlord is testament,
The heaven of housing the often
a shining example, that not all stuover looked category of student
dent housing is cause for complaint
landlords: the respectable landunusual though it may sound.
lord. The type that provide housing
which is clean and worth the amount
Whenever we have needed our landof rent being asked for. I know they
lord to fix problems in our house he
exist; I am speaking as a student that
has been there the next day; a much
has a landlord of this variety, a landbetter response time than the ten to
lord who responds when you have a
four weeks experienced by some
problem with his property and
that I know of. Over the New Year
responds with a friendly smile.
we experienced a leak in the bathroom and a lack of heating and hot
This is probably because we live in
water. Not a good situation to be in
a house described by many of our
but despite being on holiday in
friends as ‘a show home’, with a
France at the time the landlord cared
brand new bathroom, a brand new
enough to call us every day and to
kitchen and no inexplicable stains
call plumbers he knew to come and
fix the problems. Costs incurred by
us, as tenants, were fully reimbursed
on his return without any quibble or
delay. Since then there has been
cause for him to spend another day
mending a leaking pipe. We called
him on the Sunday evening to report
our suspicions of a leak and he
promptly arrived the next day.
Emily Stone
plywood down it! A few days, we
were told, before our landlord could
fix the lock that fell off of our front
door a fortnight ago. But what were
we supposed to do in the mean
time? Leave it wide open day and
night?! We can’t even threaten to
deduct some money from the rent
for such payments, we’re contractually bound by law to pay each
month and they know it!
Rebecca Williams
It is true that there are unscrupulous
landlords out there taking money of
us students for accommodation
unworthy of the rats that live there
with the students. From such people
you are lucky to get any servicould
get a landlord that gives a prompt
service with a smile, they do exist, I
know one.
....Hell of Housing
The Hell of housing:
“It’s £208 per person, per month
and your soul for eternity...” Seem
a bit over the top? Maybe not as
I reveal the real truth about landlords.
What does a first year look for in a
potential student house for the next
year at least? Big bedrooms? A
nice garden? Spacious lounge? Or
just plenty of cupboard space for
the Vodka? The reality can be very
different.
Some landlords charge the earth for
what can only be described as hell!
Damp, rot, mould, rat infestations?
I’ve had it all and it has certainly
opened my eyes to the truth! We
pay in excess of two hundred
pounds a month each and what do
our landlords do for us? They moan
about the mess, take almost all our
loan in rent, rarely do repairs and
when they do, it’s on the cheap!
Debt is our new middle name and
rent, the reoccurring topic of our
nightmares! So when money dominates the life of today’s student,
what do we actually get for it?
Recently, in my own student house,
we had an unexpected and very
unwelcome infestation of rats.
Yes... rats! Even Environmental
Health advised us to move out!
And for our extortionate living
expenses, what did our landlord do
about it? Absolutely nothing! But
we weren’t surprised; it’s become
all too common. When it takes two
months and four pestering phone
calls to get my Landlord to lay
some lino in a bathroom you can
hardly swing a cat in, we weren’t
expecting miracles.
So why are we being taken for a
ride? The fact of the matter is that
they are in it for all they can get.
From my house alone, my Landlord
makes a whopping £1456 each
month, and the rent is going up next
year!
Most
landlords
in
sunny
Southampton own multiple properties and although my maths is worst
than most, that’s a lot of cash! It’s
about time we reaped some benefits
for the selling of our souls! So listen up all you students... when
you’re looking for a shared house,
be aware... very aware, of this dangerous species!
So what rights do we actually have?
In short, none! Take my own contract, for example, all but two of the
never-ending terms lay down our
obligations. But what does the
landlord have to do for us? Ok, so
he has to keep the house in a “habitable state” but what an earth does
that mean?! Obviously my rats
weren’t in the equation when his
idea of “covering up the hole in the
bedroom” was to shove a piece of
Make sure you read your contract
through and check all the necessities before signing your life away!
(Not to mention your bank balance!) At the end of the day, everything is too much trouble for our
landlords so my advice would be to
ensure that the house you choose
requires as little contact with them
as possible! They are our worst
enemy and the bane of our student
lives!
PAGE 38
Wessexscene.co.uk
Thank
Should we Finally Bury the Ailing NHS? Social
YES NO
Tessa Hodge
Harriet Wailling
Alistair Nelson
Katheirne Butler
Those of us who have grown up
with the safety net of state-provided
health care are appallingly grateful.
Every day hundreds of people do
not even bother turning up to their
NHS appointments, do not even
bother phoning to explain their
absence. This behaviour is virtually
unheard of in the private sector
when individuals must pay for
missed appointments
The British are very good at waiting. Whether its at the checkout or
getting on a bus, it seems we are
more than happy to wait our turn.
But what if something happened to
one of us? What if something happened and you needed an operation,
perhaps not a life saving operation,
but one that would dramatically
improve your lifestyle so you could
be free of pain or discomfort again?
Would you be content to be put on a
waiting list to wait for months or
even years ?
Everyone knows someone on a
waiting list for an operation. I know
two. One is waiting for a knee
operation so she can run again without her knee popping out of its
socket. The other waits for an operation to stop the sporadic attacks of
pain in her stomach. Both waiting
lists are months long. Yet waiting
lists could be severely shortened,
from months to days, if the NHS
was privatised.
The word ‘privatisation’ often causes a knee jerk reaction. It conjures
up Thatcherism and the 80’s, yet a
private health care really wouldn’t
be that bad. If the whole of the
health care sector was privatised
then individuals would have to pay,
yes, but nowhere near as much as
you would have to fork out if you
‘went private’ while the NHS is still
in operation. An individual’s health
would be paid, such as in the
Netherlands, through a health insurance so everyone would pay a little
each year and then if and when we
needed it, the service would be
there without paying a penny more.
And you wouldn’t have to wait for
months to get a normal lifestyle
back.
Over the recent years the British
public has been bombarded with
NHS horror stories, pictures of
patients lying on trolleys in hospital
corridors because of bed shortages,
people with life threatening diseases
having to wait years before they are
actually operated on... isn’t it time
the NHS was ditched in favour of a
fully privatised system? In the case
of this particular writer the answer
is a resounding no. The service
clearly has its problems but in principle the NHS is the envy of the
world. Where else can you find a
health service that is free for everybody, that offers the same exceptional standard regardless of financial income? The people of this
country will moan, and they may
have the right to, but the fact is we
are better off than the majority of
people in this world. Firstly, the
NHS is not in quite the state that the
papers would have you believe.
From a personal point of view, I
have yet to have any of my close
relatives die from an NHS mistake.
There is no doubt that our NHS
system of health care is struggling.
Patients are waiting on an average
of three months to be seen by a
doctor and following this approximately 18 months for any required
operations. But is privatisation
really the answer?
The principle should be simple; if
you can afford to pay for medical
insurance then you should. Drugs
should be free to those on low
incomes and supplied at cost price
to the most affluent. I see no way
forward for the NHS in its present
form. The harsh truth is that the
average taxpayer can no longer
contribute enough to cover their
care in old age.
It is clear that this lumbering healthcare system, more paperwork than
patient care, is not the way forward.
We are in danger of becoming a
two-tier society as far as health is
concerned. Already, many corporations offer health packages to their
employees and, much as parents opt
out of state education, families are
opting out of state healthcare.
Perhaps we should look at a system
of state-subsidised, means-tested
health insurance rather than a
directly state funded hospital and
primary care model. At the beginning of the 21st century, it is time to
take a bold step and take an alarmingly shortsighted approach to the
NHS so we will just limp on until
another man with a vision continues
the work started by Aneurin Bevan
after the Second World War.
If the state is providing a service for
free, demand will always outstrip
supply.
The second point I want to highlight
is fact that the alternative would be
worse. Private health means PMI
(private medical insurance) and it’s
a well-known fact that insurance
companies want to scam you for
every penny they can get. BUPA
may appear to have your best interests at heart but lets face it, their
priority is profit. If you have a
health problem, for example asthma, then this will automatically
raise your insurance premium - the
NHS does not discriminate in this
way. We are a modern society and
as such should offer health care on
the basis of need not wealth. We are
often informed that the US has an
excellent health service, this may be
so but only to those who can afford
it, what about the people who
can’t?
In the January of this year, Ken
Livingstone made a strong argument against privatisation of
Britain’s health care. He explains
that the government’s proposals to
hold down taxes and public-sector
investment would mean that the
only way to reform the NHS would
be to privatise it. This he says
would be “disastrous.” Livingstone
brings to light the importance of
investment as opposed to privatisation. There must be a far greater
investment into the NHS to provide an adequate number of beds
and medical staff. There is no reason why this will automatically
follow privatisation.
After speaking to a local GP about
the NHS issue he brought to light
another problem with privatising
the NHS. He felt that that health
care could become more financially orientated so that for example whether a patient would
required a operation could depend
more on money than on how it
would benefit the patient.
By keeping the country’s health
care under the government’s control means that we essentially have
more control of it. The government knows that they are answerable to the public and their NHS
Plan of July 2000 highlights this.
They have lots of targets for
improvements such as increasing
staff and minimising waiting times.
With the establishment of a new
Modernisation Board designed to
ensure these targets are fulfilled,
the future of the NHS looks
bright.
We wish to emphasise that the views in this column are not necessarily those of the writers, the WSX editor, the Wessex Scene in general or the
Union’s. The intention of Devil’s advocate is to encourage debate and discussion for the sake of argument.
Verity James
Open a daily newspaper to find
yet another picture of a social
worker, “home wrecker” plastered all over the front page. Do
you ever think to question whether
social workers really deserve this
negative image the media give them
in their desperate search for a good
story?
The answer is probably no, in fact
most people probably believe what
they read, for if it is printed in black
and white it must be true, right?
However most readers misconceptions derive from their own ignorance How can people judge a social
worker when they don’t know anything about their profession? Let me
enlighten you. First of all most
social workers aren’t even involved
in child protection issues, there are
many areas of social work Social
workers can work with any vulnerable group in society; from disabled
children to the elderly and from
drug abusers to education welfare.
Teams that help disabled children,
for example, experience a very different kind of reality than the stereotypical reaction of people hiding
behind the curtain and not opening
the door to a meddling social worker. Clients approach them instead,
actually asking for help and resources. Social workers have the power
to make their lives easier, not more
complicated. The stereotypical view
of social workers is far from the
truth and the reality. According to
fundamental principles and philosophies, stated in “The Children Act,”
social workers believe in “working
together” to protect children, not
splitting families apart. If this is not
possible, the social workers role is
crucial, who else is going to protect
an innocent child facing abuse?
Why should social workers mistakes be headline news anyway?
Other professionals do not have to
face such regular criticism and
humiliation? Has anyone ever
thought that it is only because their
job is so challenging and important
that if they do make a mistake it’s
on the front page? Is it fair even to
judge professionals working under
extreme pressure, under paid often
working over time in understaffed
teams with insufficient resources,
heavy work loads and inadequate
training and the negative image of
- less
Workers
child protection work in general? It
seems that in order to help the
oppressed social workers have to
put themselves in that position in
the eyes of the media
It may be worth taking a
closer look at the case of the tragic
death of Victoria Climbie, abused
by her great aunt and step uncle
Victoria died on 25 February 2000
from neglect and hypothermia, aged
eight years old. In a blame culture
the accusing finger was immediately pointed at the social workers
involved. Newspapers were full of
reports of the “failure” and “incompetence” of social worker Lisa
Arthurworrey and child protection
officer
Karen
Jones
Lisa.
Arthurworreys legal representative
warned the inquiry that the recruitment and retention problems blighting social services departments
nationally will not improve unless
people were more realistic about
what a front line social worker can
be expected to do. She argued that
the failure of the North Middlesex
Hospital to pass on all its concerns
was crucial to Arthurworreys handling of the case. Jane Hoyal said
neither the police nor the hospital
should have expected Arthurworrey
to carry out their duties, commenting that “Lisa Arthurworrey is not a
pediatrician, detective or psychiatrist yet other agencies have sought
to shield behind her back”
Don’t give social workers
a bad name, for if the jobs remain
undesirable to those with the qualifications to carry them out whom
will, or can, help our vulnerable
children? Social workers do an
excellent, and sometimes-dangerous
job, helping others, not getting paid
enough for the work they do. Society
can at least acknowledge them by
giving social workers the respect
they deserve. If the public’s’ perception of social workers weren’t so
negative, maybe more young people
would enter such a worthwhile and
challenging career
Wessexscene.co.uk
PAGE 39
The Sickness ‘Not Enough
of Beauty Disabled People’
Edlin Mickey
Sarah Cooper
Everybody needs food to survive.
But for some people, food can
become an overwhelming and
destructive force that can completely dominate their thoughts,
feelings and actions. People can
be said to have an eating disorders
when their life revolves around
food and they take extreme measures to control what they eat.
We are constantly bombarded with
conflicting messages regarding
image and diet. In the past few
years, eating disorders have been
placed in the spotlight, as the media
have concurred that being “stick
thin” is both dangerous and presents
a damaging role model for young
people. Hypocritically however,
the weight of models does not
appear to have changed.
This “thin is beautiful” image may
be a contributing factor to the
number of people with eating disorders. The waif-like ideal promoted
through the media can put pressure
on women of all ages to diet, sometimes to excess. Numerous other
triggers of eating disorders may
include upsetting events, such as
divorce, difficult family relationships, stress, overwork, anxiety,
depression, severe pain, digestive
disorders such as gastritis, liver
disease, kidney failure or cancer.
Some prescription drugs can also
effect eating habits, such as opiates
and those used to treat high blood
pressure and heart failure. As well
as these environmental and biological explanations, it is thought that
some psychological factors may
influence patients, such as an
unwillingness to grow up, as they
appear to be trying to retain their
childhood shape. Some people
simply suffer from a fatness phobia,
and some people have a lack of
self-esteem, and find that they have
power over what they eat. Anorexia
and bulimia are two common eating
disorders, which affect women in
particular.
Anorexia is simply a loss of appetite
from any cause, whereas anorexia
nervosa is characterised by deeper
psychological problems, such as an
intense fear of g aining weight or
becoming obese. Other symptoms
of anorexia nervosa include a distorted body image, leading to a
restricted diet and sometimes,
excessive exercise. Patients also
tend to believe themselves to be fat,
even when a significant weight loss
has occurred.
Bulimia is characterised by extreme
over-eating, especially of fatty and
sweet foods. It is more difficult to
notice however, because there is not
a significant weight loss. Patients
with bulimia often ‘binge’ and then
get rid of the intake by vomiting or
using laxatives.
The main health problems associated with anorexia is the discontinuance of the menstrual cycle, dry
skin, the thinning of the hair, difficulty in sleeping and concentrating,
depression, constantly feeling cold,
brittle bones and weakened muscles.
Health problems related to bulimia
may be harder to detect because the
weight will probably remain consistent. However, one may observe
a puffy face, swollen fingers, muscle weakness, stomach pains, longterm constipation and tooth decay,
caused by the stomach acid brought
up when vomiting, which attacks
the tooth enamel.
Many people throughout the UK,
and the world suffer from eating
disorders, however they can be
overcome with sufficient medical
and psychological attention. If you
are worried about any of the issues
discussed, you can find out more by
contacting:
Internet: www.bupa.com
Telephone: NHS Direct on 0845
4647
Social inequality is a nagging issue
on the public agenda, begging to be
taken seriously by critics and pundits alike. Many organisations are
beginning to see the potential
rewards of pandering to pressure
over the special treatment of minority social groups. Leading public
relations and marketing company
Lawton PR describes Customer
Equality Management as the next
big thing in customer relations, and
businesses seen to be considerate to
minority groups are held in high
opinion in the eyes of the consumer.
Tesco was one of the first supermarkets to jump on the bandwagon by
introducing several new policies
that echo this current fad. The grocery giant has recently been condemned for its move to significantly
reduce the number of parking bays
allocated to the disabled. A long
standing employee is quoted as saying “There just aren’t enough disabled people” in relation to their
current car parking conundrum. The
spaces are to be reassigned to other
customer groups, notably Parent
and Child, and Heavy Duty
Shoppers. The issue gains further
momentum when we find that recent
customer surveys were conducted
questioning whether it would be
beneficial to go a step further and
make allocations for ethnic minorities and even so far as dedicated
spaces for homosexuals. Many commentators have spoken out with the
notion that this is socio-equality
overkill and there is no need for
such heavy handed discrimination
against normal people. An Asda
spokesperson responded to the
move by saying “Equality hasn’t
gone too far because there’s always
going to be different sorts of people,
so how can equality even think
about happening?”
Revolutionary plans have been
unveiled for a supermarket to be
located on a brown town site in
London. The store is to include such
design features as special disabled
only tills which can be lowered by
up to two feet, and a unique inclined
shop floor which facilitates the flow
of wheelchairs and trolleys alike.
The car park is set to feature new
spherical parking methodology
which has generated significant
interest as every space is equidistant
from the entrance. The efforts made
have been well received as a positive step toward unilateral equality
though many black spots still exist.
Supermarkets are not the sole area
affected by questionable levels of
equality; the public sector is also
under the spotlight and facing
increasing scrutiny from all quarters.
The media billed ‘postcode lottery’
with regards to public services is a
contentious issue in the debate over
equality. The government has commissioned a white paper to investigate the notion that the catchment
area for any particular service
should be linked to its performance.
The proposal suggests that a successful GP ought to service patients
from a larger area, though sceptics
say the scheme will result in doctors
indulging in unnecessary operations
that will be deliberately conducted
poorly. This will be detrimental to
their performance rating and hence
reduce their workload despite the
threat of what has been dubbed
‘Small Catchment Syndrome’.
The continuing developments show
no signs of abating in pursuing the
lucrative egalitarian ideal which
they strive to achieve. It is worthwhile considering the implications
of these measures and question
whether they will ultimately help in
making the world a better, fairer
place. Is it right that we have boys
as young as eight being forced to
PAGE 40
Wessexscene.co.uk
D r i v i n g
Introducing the definitive new review feature, Driving Ambition, Adam Charlton and Harvey Longstaff will give you the
highs and lows of student wrecks around the campus! If you want your wreck to be put under the microscope contact us at
wsx@wessexscene.co.uk
Ford Fiesta
Price:
£300-£500
0-60mph:
Undetermined. (Insufficient space
on The Avenue to reach 60mph.)
Top Speed:
45mph ( Fears for personal safety
cut short this test as some breaking
up did occur. Duck tape was required
to secure door panel.)
Gearbox:
Four speed gearbox. Shift requires
two hands and possibly the aid of
the passenger. About as smooth as
Prince Philip at a gay rights convention.
Image:
The Ford Fiesta has been around
since the invention of the wheel,
making it a permanent part of the
British landscape.
Extras:
Rust comes as standard on left
wing. Go faster stripes on some
later models may conceal this.
Rattling radio that supplies sound
quality only slightly better than a
gramophone.
Review:
The Ford Fiesta is the classic student car. Cheap to buy and cheap to
insure. It is also popular among
aspiring boy and girl racers who
think putting a ‘phat’ exhaust on the
back and exchanging the rear seats
for speakers will somehow make
the car look good. (Why not save
the money wasted on stupid accessories and buy a better car!?!) As far
as wrecks go this is certainly one of
the most sluggish. With a poor top
speed and acceleration, the Fiesta
has less get up and go than a
Saturday boy at McDonalds. The
non-adjustable steering column may
cause midget drivers problems. The
main redeeming feature of the Ford
is that with so many on the road
they are dirt cheap to buy. If all you
want is to get to lectures on time
whilst securing a much needed liein then this is the car for you. Just
don’t enter any street races because
the Fiesta is likely to be overtaken
by a hearse.
Overall: **
“The fiesta has
less get up and
go than a
Saturday boy at
McDonalds.”
Fiat Uno
Price: £70-£300
0-60mph:
17 seconds downhill with the
wind.
Top speed:
Not attempted due to dodgy
brakes.
Gearbox:
Four speed. If you’re lucky reverse.
Later models may have an extra
gear just as a spare. Lets face it, you
won’t get to fifth anyway.
Image:
Italian design, a tad eighties I feel.
Not likely to be popular with the
ladies.
Extras:
Super soft suspension gives you all
the enjoyment of a roller coaster.
Review:
This really is the peak of Italian
design. Described as practical, functional and unpretentious, now that
really is Italian isn’t it! Id rather
describe it as about as exciting as
watching an OAP’s bowls match. In
a recent maths exam I was so bored
I started doodling, and within a few
seconds I realised I had drawn some
boxes. “So what” I hear you say, but
with a few tweaks a Fiat Uno
appeared in front of me on the page.
The designers actually got PAID for
this! Makes you think. The soft suspension will provide a smooth ride
but almost certainly ensures projectile vomiting in tight turns, which
may obscure the driver’s visibility.
Apart from looking like a modified
cardboard box it does have some
plus points. Cheap insurance and
reasonably reliable if serviced properly. What more could you ask for,
we are students after all.
Overall: *
Easing Congestion or Just a Money Making
Ian Joyner &
Adam Charlton
Plans being presented by the
Government’s transport commission mean that the cars of the future
will be monitored via satellite glo-
bal positioning systems and drivers
charged for sitting on congested
roads. The Government plans intend
to reduce road congestion by almost
half without creating an increasing
tax burden. This will be achieved by
abolishing road tax and reducing
fuel duties. In theory the reduction
in traffic will lead to less accidents,
less money to maintain roads and
shorter journey times. Though on
paper this may seem an idyllic
future scenario, in practice, will
such a scheme actually be effective?
public that the revenue would be
channelled back into public transport?
The main purpose of the project
will be to reduce congestion by
forcing people to find alternatives
for travelling, as it will be too
expensive to take the same journey
by car. However, people currently
journey by car due to the lack of
available and efficient public transport facilities, which offer no comparison to the convenience of a car.
Moreover, increasing taxes to discourage car use has proven to be
ineffective in the past. Witness the
ever increasing fuel duty having little or no effect on the numbers of
car users on Britain’s roads.
“Can we live in a
free and democratic society
when the
Government can
have access to
the location of
your car at any
time?”
Even if such a scheme were to be
successful in its goals to decrease
driver numbers, how would today’s
ailing public transport system be
able to cope with such an influx of
commuters? More importantly,
could the Government assure the
The Government’s goal of a tenyear period in which to install this
system highlights the practicality
issues of installing a global posi-
tioning system to every car in the
country. Car ownership is increasing in Britain, so therefore how will
the system be applied to such an
ever-increasing number of cars, and
how much will this cost? How will
the system be transferred from car
to car when people buy or sell vehi-
cles? Will there be a standard tax
rate imposed on all drivers, or will it
be varied according to engine size
and emissions?
How accurate will the system be in
calculating how much you owe for
sitting in traffic?
Has the Government’s transport
commissioner been watching too
much of Enemy of the State, or perhaps an avid fan of Big Brother. Can
we live in a free and democratic
society when the Government can
have access to the location of your
car at any time? Surely this raises
serious issues about the freedom of
the individual.
Everyone is aware of the need to
reduce congestion, but surely the
focus of this particular scheme is
wrong. Instead of trying to reduce
the number of cars on the road, we
should ensure that those cars that
are on the road are powered by
alternative, less polluting forms of
energy other than fossil fuels. Is this
just another Government moneymaking scheme to extort more
money from the tax-paying, car
driving, public?
Wessexscene.co.uk
PAGE 41
Fraud of
Tinsel Town
Alex Moss
Once again the Academy Awards,
better known as the Oscars, are
upon us. Russell Crowe has
received his third consecutive best
actor nomination (after being nominated for The Insider, Gladiator and
this years A Beautiful Mind), but far
more importantly the love of my
life since I was 10 years old and
first saw Labyrinth, Jennifer
Connelly is up for best supporting
actress (A Beautiful Mind). And
let’s be honest what a year in films
it’s been? Harry Potter came and is
unfortunately for many of us still
around. The Lord of the Rings
proved that you can make a breathtaking film out of one of the most
loved books ever written. Brad and
George shared the screen (all thanks
to the almighty pulling power
of Steven Soderbergh’s
Ocean’s 11), and most
shocking of all Will
Smith the original
Fresh Prince himself as
grabbed himself a best
actor nomination for
Ali.
The Oscars has always
been a much loved award
ceremony for film fans, whether you’re a budding director or
a wannabe actor. The Oscars
always mean glamour and glitz
and some of the most stunning
women on the planet dressing
up in the smallest dresses ever
made.
But take a step back form this
much loved occasion and ask
yourself: what is it all about?
To many the Oscars is a time
to honour the work of filmmakers all over the world
and, much as this journalist
hates to say it, give
Hollywood a great big pat on
the back by...err themselves.
The way the Oscars works is,
on the surface anyway, very
democratic. Anyone who has
ever been nominated for an
unwittingly stolen from outside the
Royal South Hampshire Hospital
with an elderly passenger aboard.
When the thief realised he had company, he gave the 89-year-old man a
lift back home.
Appalling as these events all are,
Southampton still has relatively low
crime rate by comparison to other
UK cities and aside from a little
extra caution than would be applied
if living in a Cornish village, I do
not feel current or prospective students should be worrying too much.
In fact the University would do better to worry about improving
Southampton’s nightlife as a way of
attracting students.
award is eligible to vote in the
Oscars. Fairly simple right? Wrong.
Hollywoo politically driven place,
and filmmaking is a political tool
with the added bonus of huge wads
of sweaty cash. Indeed David
Lynch’s film Mulholland Drive
would appear to be commenting
directly on the corruptness of
Hollywood (amazing then that it
has received nominations this
year).
Back in 1998 a small film called
Shakespeare in Love was nominated for best film, indeed it went onto
win the Oscar. Less than
a month after however
rumors were circulating
that the votes had either
been rigged or the voters
bribed. The Wienstien
brothers
(heads
of
Miramax, the studio who
produced the film)
were accused of
offering
the
voters either
money or, much
more valuable in
the vane world of
movies, lucrative
contracts.
Eventually
the
rumors were dismissed, but as they
always say there is
never smoke without
fire.
So is this sort of occurrence regular in Tinsel
Town? Well possibly
not to this extent but the
voters of the Academy
do not always vote for
who they believe has acted,
directed, sung or danced
the best.
So many of the voters are
tied to certain studios,
whether that be through
contract or simply through
preference (i.e. who is going
to pay them the most for their
next movie) resulting in the
votes being far from fair.
Yours truly,
Julian Gavaghan
Please send all
letters to:
editor@soton.ac.uk
Is society
beginning
to
crumble?
Dear Editor
Southampton: Quiet, leafy and just
possibly a little dull? This is the
impression I have been given during
my time here. Of course some of
you may be overwhelmed by what
seems like a fast-paced, cosmopolitan,
urban
extravaganza.
Nevertheless, what is all this talk
about the recent increase in crime
we are all hearing about?
The last edition of the Wessex Scene
was headlined with ‘Campus Crime
Capers’. This newspaper exposed
the lax security at many of the
University’s halls of residence. It
was also alleged that the University
has been using underhand methods
to ‘avoid a reputation of crime that
could result in a lowering of admissions’.
Outside of the student scene there
was a man found dead in his house
on Portswood Road, which the
Police are still investigating. Also
Hampshire Constabulary is aware
of an increase in illegal car-dumping. Some of you may have noticed
two cars that have been permanently
residing in Safeway’s car park for
quite some time now for example,
as well in other locations across the
city. The most recent crime incident
that has taken my interest though
concerns a hospital-car, which was
Beryl is
the
Wessex
Scene
Dear Editor
Please pass on my sentiments to
Beryl, the ‘mature agony aunt’, for
continuing to provide encouraging
and informative advice to her various troubled readers. I am a mature
student and have found that by
implementing many of her suggestions in my lifestyle, I find I live a
relatively carefree life. Could you
please send me her address so I can
thank her personally for such an
outstanding service to the university
community. Perhaps you could convince Beryl to do a full-page spread
for page 3?
Yours in anticipation,
A. Partridge
Page
three
is too
tame!
Dear Editor
I am writing to express my disappointment at your previous issue’s
page three which, to be completely
honest, was extremely tame. In fact,
I think my grandmother shows more
cleavage when she goes to bingo.
What should be a display of gratuitous nudity was actually three
moody girls wearing glossed up bin
liners. Someone needs to a) tell
them to cheer up and b) tell them to
get naked. The idea of a page three
is a great idea, but it might as well
be scrapped altogether if it is not
done properly, or as a regular feature in the Wessex Scene. Surely in
our sexually liberated society you
can give your audience what they
want. More flesh! Then perhaps we
can all relieve a bit of pent up exam
frustration.
Frustrated
PAGE 42
Well, this is the last time I’ll be
leading you through the exciting
happenings of our clubs and socs.
Sarah is taking over after Easter so
contact her with all your latest
news on sjb500@soton.ac.uk.
Hope you’ve enjoyed reading about
Wessexscene.co.uk
all the interesting, mad and ... pretty
weird things that some of us like to
get up to in our spare time. Adios
amigos,
Fiona xxx
Wessexscene.co.uk
PAGE 43
Don’t be a local...
Get a Young Person’s Railcard and get Three Extra Months!
el, you’re likely to recoup the cost
in one long journey.
With the University year in full
swing, you’re probably wondering
where time (and money) has gone.
All those promises to see more of
your friends and family from elsewhere in the country have become
unaffordable dreams. But money
need not be an issue with the help of
a Young Persons Railcard. There
has never been a better time to buy
one, as any Young Persons
Railcard bought or renewed
before 18th May 2002
will be valid for 15
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standard 12.
A Young Persons Railcard is
great for helping your money go
a little bit further. So once you’ve
exhausted your student loan, you
can still get out and about for less,
ensuring you really won’t be ‘a
local’.
A Young Persons Railcard offers
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with
* A passport-sized photo of yourself
* A completed application
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when you are there)
together with £18
* Proof that you are
either 16 - 25 years
old or a mature
student aged
26 or over in
full time
education
* Or
you can
buy one over
the phone.
Call National Rail Enquires on
0845 7 48 49 50 for the telesales
number of your local Train
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* If you buy your Young Persons
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your card will be valid for 15
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Five lucky readers could
skip the cost altogether
by winning one of the 5
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Persons’
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Wessex Scene can exclusively give away!
If you could go anywhere on a train, where
would you go and who
would you go with?
Email your answers (no
more than 50 words)
to:
competitions@
wessexscene.co.uk
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PAGE 44
Wessexscene.co.uk
Ultimate Frisbee is not standing
on the beach throwing a Frisbee
back and forth with your friends;
it is a fast moving team sport
enjoyed by thousands the world
over.
Club captain Ashraf Ali demonstrates the darts from the heart team moto.
The first rule of Darts Club is, corder relaying live pictures of the
‘you do not talk about Darts dart board to the two TV screens
Club!’ The second rule of Darts near the bar. The Oxford team
Club is, ‘NO GIRLS!’ This may turned up to the fixture a little late
seem quite sexist but its only giving us plenty of time to down a
because girls are generally rub- couple of pints to steady our nerves,
needless to say when they did finalbish at darts (only kidding).
ly arrive very few of our team of
The University of Southampton finely tuned, darts playing, athletes
Darts Club was founded just a few were still sober.
months ago by, now president,
Matthew Topper when he realised I could say that our creativity and
that no such club existed. At present flair in front of the board won us an
the club is relatively small with unlikely victory, but it would be a
about twenty members, but as word lie. There were frequent shouts of
of the coolest new AU club is ‘100’, ‘140’ and even ‘180’ while
spreading we seem to have new the Oxford boys were at the oche,
we could only respond to these
members joining each week.
shouts with scores of ‘7’, ‘26’ and if
Last semester we met on a weekly we were very lucky ‘39’. The only
basis at The Mitre playing a small shining light in our truly abysmal
round robin tournament between performance was the stunning vicrandomly selected teams of club tory by one of our more experienced
members. This inaugural tourna- players, and Southampton man of
ment was won by the aptly named the match, Gas. I must admit my
‘Team 180’, with my team, the own performance was pretty shockimaginatively named ‘team 3’, fin- ing and I contributed to what turned
ishing a creditable second out of six out to be an 11-1 thrashing by
teams. This semester we have start- Oxford. Nevertheless we all had a
ed a new tournament and have also good time and drank enough to
started playing friendly matches make us forget, or just not care, that
against other universities. The first we had lost.
of these matches took place on
Sunday 10th February at the We have return fixtures yet to play
University of Warwick. I didn’t against Oxford and Warwick and
actually go to this match as I had also fixtures against York and posother commitments, but I’m assured sibly Glamorgan universities. We
a good time was had by all despite still continue to meet at 8:00 pm
upstairs in the Mitre most Tuesdays,
losing the Match 9-1.
so if you think you could be an asset
Our first home match took place on to our team come along and speak
Wednesday 13th February in the to Topper (the curly haired freak,
Sports Bar and was against Oxford you can’t miss him) or alternatively
University, who are rumoured to check out our very professional
have between two hundred and four looking website at: www.soton.ac.
hundred members between their uk/~sudarts. We are always looking
twenty or so colleges, we had no for new members and you never
chance right from the outset. The know we may even let girls in if
sports bar was set up for the occa- they’re good enough.
sion by our dedicated committee
Alexander
members with ample seating, some
crisps and sandwiches, and a cam-
Invented by students in America in
the early 1970’s it quickly spread
around the world. Ultimate is often
compared to other team games such
as American football and netball,
but in truth it is
unlike any other
sport.
these take place over weekends
thought out the year, indoors and
outdoors. Usually there will be
between 16 and 24 teams at each
tournament. Members of teams
from other universities and open
teams are always friendly, especially at the Saturday night party. An
important aspect of Ultimate is
being able to play on Sunday morn-
Although the team is good at their
chosen sport, the most important
aspect of the club and the sport in
general, is the social side. Teams
take great pride in winning the tournament parties by staying the longest, drinking the most or in the case
of a recent party, best use of the
Love dice. Even at the party teams
compete at the infamous 3-pint challenge. An official size disc can
contain exactly
3 pints (try it);
the Challenge is
for two people
to drink the
contents in the
fastest
time
though straws.
The Club record
is 17 seconds.
FRISBEE
FRENZY
There are no referees;
meaning
games are ruled
by the players, under what is called
the “Spirit of the Game”. A skilled
player can throw the disc in any
number of different ways, making it
fly straight, or in a curve or hover in
mid air for a team mate to run
onto.
The two basic throws can be quickly taught and the rules are simple,
this means beginners can quickly
get into games and compete in tournaments. Tournaments are one of
the best aspects of Ultimate Frisbee;
ings with an incredible hangover.
The Southampton team (strangely
called the Skunks) are no strangers
to success in tournaments and
recently qualified for the National
Student Outdoors finals and the
Indoor Open National finals, placing them in the top 24 out of the 140
plus teams country wide. Many
skunks have gone onto national and
international honours and often help
in the coaching of the team.
With the summer fast approaching,
now is the best time to learn the
sport.
If you are interested in a sport like
no other contact rjm299@soton.ac.
uk or check www.skunksultimate.
co.uk for practice times and
socials.
Robin Matthews
Wessexscene.co.uk
PAGE 45
The road to victory
MEN’S FOOTBALL TEAM SET TO CAUSE A STORM IN THE BUSA SEMI-FINALS
Southampton Uni 2
Roehampton Uni 0
the unit held - the marking was
good and the defence worked for
each other, leaving no way through.
The most successful season the
SUFC Men’s 1st have had in
recent history continued to gather
speed last week after a hard
earned and professional victory
over tough Roehampton opposition.
Having ridden the storm, which saw
another booking for Wessex (James
York, marking a tricky and physical
forward) the break came again - the
prolific Sadler popping up to knock
in a loose ball, completing his pair.
The defence then held on and
repelled all the desperate attacks
that followed.
With an unbeaten record going into
the game (15 victories out of 16) the
Wessex men were determined to
live up to their potential and qualify
for the semi finals of the BUSA
shield. When BUSA reconstructed
the league two years ago the Wessex
squad were placed in a league below
their ability. As a result the Wessex
squad began the season with three playing a key role in keeping Wessex
goals and a promotion into the tier on top (despite the fact that Cullen
was playing with a heavily bandin which they belong.
aged head having taken five stitches
The first half started evenly with the previous Sunday). The highlight
both sides having good possession. of the half was a great move put
The Wessex defence - with six clean together by Lyons, Cullen and Adam
sheets in the last seven games - Smith that saw the Roehampton
carved
right
open.
were resolute, and Roehampton had flank
problems breaking the tight unit Unfortunately, the move was ended
down. Peter Antoniades, one of our after Smith made a meal of a tough
three on-form strikers, came close tackle and got a yellow - the referee
with an instinctive lob and first time giving a clear indicator he would
shot, while our midfield of Joe tightly control the physical game.
Lyons and Skipper Dan Cullen were The half ended in a flurry of
Southampton
attacks,
and
Roehampton must have felt fortunate to go into half time without
conceding.
The team spirit and character that
the team have shown this season
was not missing in the second half.
Within minutes the fresh substitutes
of James Thornby and Dan Smith
showed exactly why the squad is
winning, week in, week out strength in depth. In a rich vein of
form, Thornby rattled the bar with
his second touch and A. Smith began
to open up again on the right. The
opening pressure paid off and on
sixty minutes Gareth Sadler scored
with another of his cheeky free
kicks.
Roehampton were clearly not
defeated however, and began loading the pressure on. A good tenminute spell for them saw Inigo
Sarriegi make an important save,
Roehampton go narrowly wide,
almost score with a lob and force
our defence to make several excellent covering tackles. Nevertheless,
A remarkable performance; the
Wessex team took on a physically
tough opposition and matched, if
not out muscled, them, rode periods
of intense pressure and came out on
top with a very good chance of progressing to the final. The draw was
made the next day - Manchester
away, a tough fixture but one that
the team will hope to rise to in order
to complete the fantastic season
thus far.
To all those who did not get a
chance to watch, there will be the
Varsity match at St. Mary’s Stadium
on the 25th April, Tickets £5. Lets
have a huge crowd this year as we
may just have a lot to cheer about!
James York
IT’S SNOW JOKE!
If you ever wondered whether there
exists a toothbrush heaven (as I’m
sure you have), you’ll be glad to
here that us skiers and snowboarders, distraught that mother nature
forgot to provide England with a
mountain or two, have managed to
find a job for your bristled rejects.
It’s quite simple: throw a ‘dendix’
mat down the side of a hill and let
gravity do its bit.
You’d be surprised by actually how
much dry slope ski/snowboard racing happens in the British Isles.
Naturally, looking down on the
beautiful Welwyn Garden City
(where?) doesn’t really compare
with Mont Blanc, but when you’ve
got hundreds of ‘lubricated’ students dressed as anything from Telly
Tubbies to Tarts and Vicars in front
of you and a pair of skies attached to
your feet you know you’ve found a
British Universities competition and
you’re in for a good time.
The Ski and Snowboard Club, for
the first two years that I raced for it,
was certainly more about the ‘taking part’ (and some!) as opposed to
the ‘winning’ element of competition.
However, things are dramatically
changing and this season has seen
us winning race meetings and narrowly finishing second in our
regional league. We’ve been up to
Edinburgh at the National Dry Slope
Championships, at the University
Alpine event in Val d’Isere as well
as more local regional races where
members of the team(s) have consistently got results up alongside the
very best in the country.
With a very tight budget the club
has managed to turn quite a serious
and demanding sport into something
that is attracting new sponsors, and
more importantly, over 250 members, many of whom are getting
involved in racing. This year we’ve
had our first snowboarding team
competing on dry slope as well as a
brave few who have put image and
sanity to one side and raced on
monoboards.
At the end of this month we’re out
at the British Universities
Snowsports Championships (BUSC)
in Les Arcs, France, mixing with
teams of nationals to novices. The
mildly insane will be on the Big Air
ramp and the ski/board X course
pulling ‘phat’ air and breakneck
speeds. Whilst there’ll also be many
entries in slalom and GS with expectations of silverware. It’s an opportunity for all our members to get
involved in something we’re all
passionate about, and it goes beyond
a common quest for snow as you
can probably imagine.
Whether you’re the nuts or not,
come and get involved in a club
that’s going places on both the social
and racing fronts.
NATIONAL QUALIFIERS - ROUND
4 ON 02 FEBRUARY 2002
We were in fact competing not
only for a place in the National
Dry Slope Championships, but
also to win our region (London
and the South East
We entered 3 mixed teams (with
at least one female per team), 1
female team and 2 boarding
teams.
RACING RESULTS:
1st team: 5th place
2nd team: 4th place
Boarding 1st team: 1st place
Final standings leave the 1st team
in 2nd place overall, 1 point
behind the winners - Cambridge.
Both the 1st and 2nd teams will
qualify for the Nationals and one
boarding team will certainly
qualify. These are by far the best
results our teams have ever
achieved.
THE NAKED TRUTH
often shake my hand and congratulate me! If they won’t chase me, I
don’t leave until they do - the audience loves the chase, so I have to do
it. For example, I streaked at the
Grand National, wearing a cowboy
hat with ‘raw hide’ written on me
arse. The police wouldn’t chase me,
so I started shooting at them with my
toy guns until they did!
Where did you get your inspiration?
I was working behind a bar in Hong
Kong in 1993, and there was a twoday rugby event on. Someone dared
me to do it. At first, I thought it was
a joke, so agreed. It was all ale-talk
really. On the day, my friends
dragged me down to the stadium, so
I had to do it. There were 65,000
people there. I picked up the ball
and scored a try... the crowd went
mad! They loved it! I’ve never
known anything like it, everyone
was shouting, it was a phenomenal
feeling. I did it purely by chance, I
have a lot to thank the guy who
dared me to do it for; I’ve had 9
years of adrenaline rushes. It’s a
real buzz, after that first time, I had
to continue doing it! I’m running
out of ideas though.
What do you do when you’re not
streaking?
Shave me arse, shave me legs, buff
me Willy and go to the pub!
[Do you mind if we quote you on
that?]
No not at all!
Is there any occasion you wouldn’t
streak at?
I used to say that I wouldn’t do the
royal family. But the jubilee’s coming up isn’t it, so who knows? Maybe
I’ll have to change the rule!
How many streaks have you
done?
199. About 45 of those were major
streaks... at games, on T.V shows...
It’s difficult to get tickets now
though! (Laughs) I have to use aliases; most recently I went by the
name Richard Slinger. I managed to
get tickets to do my lottery streak
under the name Dickie Winner.
What has been your greatest
streaking achievement?
How long do you intend to continue streaking?
Q: What do you do when you’re not streaking?
A: Shave me arse, shave me legs, buff me Willy and go
to the pub!
The Liverpool VS. Chelsea match a
few Novembers ago... I came on to
the pitch after half time, just before
kick-off. Zola passed me the ball
and I scored a goal!
ones with the big rollers; I got sucked Christie the Lunch box... I could be
in and spat out at the end, gleaming. the snack!
It was great.
What are your future plans for
At which point one of our house- T.V. / Sponsorship?
Do you think streaking at sport- mates,
Robert
Serjeant
ing events is better than non- (Geology and Oceanography 3rd I’ve done lots of T.V shows all over
sporting events?
year) runs past us naked! As usual the world, ever since the website
he had failed to take a towel into started. I’ve done chat shows in
Sporting events are better, there are the bathroom with him - his excuse Denmark, Sweden, Germany, and
more people there - the more people is that ‘it will get wet’! (PLEASE lots of other places. I’ve got five
the better the response. For that I STOP DOING THIS ROB!!!!!)
major television appearances lined
was banned from football for 12
up. I’m appearing in the Mirror’s M
months! It led me to think of other We explain this to Mark, and he sug- magazine in a couple of week’s
ideas, like the weatherman streak... gests that he join the union of streak- time. When I first stared doing the
I jumped down onto the platform, ers...
appearances, it was a bit intimidatand had to swim over to the island.
ing. Sometimes the presenters get a
I’ve decided to set up a union for bit funny with me, but now it doesn’t
What do your friends and family streakers... its called GUTS (global bother me. I just tell them ‘if you get
funny with me, I’ll drop my pants
jump on ya.’ I normally do this
I got naked and went through the car wash. It and
at the end of the show anyway!
was one of those ones with the big rollers; I got
sucked in and spat out at the end, gleaming. It
was great.
Did you go to University?
No, I went to college, but got kicked
out. I was studying Dance and
union for streakers) it used to be Drama, but I got kicked out ‘cause I
called BUMS (British Union of Male kept swapping courses. I have no
regrets though, if it hadn’t happened
streakers...)
I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing
Any plans or ambitions for future today. My whole life has led up to
this career.
streaks?
think about it?
Everyone thinks I’m mad. Some of
my friends won’t come out with me
anymore because they’re scared that
I’ll drop my pants - which I normally do after a few drinks! The
other week I was in the pub, and I’d
had a few. I saw a garage across the I want to streak at the Superbowl or Is streaking a full-time career
road, so I got naked and went through the Olympics. The Olympics would then, or do you have another job?
the car wash. It was one of those be good... they called Linford
No I don’t have another job.
Streaking takes up most of my time.
The website is like a full time job. At
the moment, I’m looking for someone to write a book... to be a ghostwriter and to tell my story. I do lots
of interviews and things, so this
takes up most of my time. I’ve just
made some t-shirts too, which I’ll
probably hand out to the police
when I get arrested! It’s an unpaid
full time job, so I’m up to my neck
in debts and fines. I’ve given up on
the fines though; I’d rather do the
days.
Until it falls off from frostbite!
It does get very cold - when I’m running it always looks cold!
But seriously, I have no intention of
giving it up in the near future. As
long as people are still encouraging
me, I’ll carry on doing it. I love the
way people treat me.
Any final comments?
Well... I should just tell you about
the time I went on the ‘Vanessa’
show. I was in the audience, in my
Velcro suit, whipped it off, ran up to
Vanessa and shouted ‘Come on
fatty!’ She just panicked. Her security guards grabbed hold of me and
through me in to the nearest back
stage area, which just happened to
be her dressing room. So, I was
standing there naked, waiting for the
police at arrive, and I spotted one of
her bras lying about. It had to be
done - I put it on. It was HUGE! It
There were 5 arrest warrants out for was so big I put my feet through it
me once, so I decided to turn myself and put it on me arse! I was still
in. I went to the police station naked
I went to the police station naked with a tie on,
and a cardboard box on my head with eyeholes cut out. The police recognised me, and
sent me away!
with a tie on, and a cardboard box on
my head with eye-holes cut out. The
police recognised me, and eventually sent me away!
wearing it when the police came to
arrest me. They asked me what I was
doing, and I just said, ‘I’m having a
laugh’. That’s what it’s about.
She didn’t even let me keep the bra.
What do the police think of your
streaking? Do they see the funny On that note, we said a fond farewell to Mark, who reminded us to
side of it?
look out for future T.V appearThe police are great about it; they ances, and to check his website for
the forthcoming video...
Chrissy and Susie.
Sporting website of the week:
www.aardvarkarchie.com
Surf club have just come back from
Newquay after competing in the
British University Surfing championships. The girl’s team reached the
quarter finals, and the team placed
11th overall.
Also, the football team are continuing their great success this season
with an impresive win over
Roehampton uni, which brings them
into the semi finals, set for a match
against Manchester away.
Hello and welcome to yet another
full (!) sports section.
This time, we have a real treat for
everyone: a hilarious interview with
the world’s most prolific streaker
Mark Roberts. Mark spared us his
time after being very busy with TV
appearances... you may have seen
him recently on ITV! He gives
some good advice to wannabe
streakers, so if there’s any of you
out there, it’s well worth a read.
We have a variety of different sports
for you to read about this time,
including Ultimate Frisbee, which
should be increasingly popular as
the warm weather approaches. On
the other hand, the Ski and
Snowboarding club have been
enjoying success, with both teams
qualifying for the nationals.
And Darts! These ‘athletes’ boast
that there are no girls in their club,
because girls are usually rubbish at
darts. Are there any girls out there
who like to prove these misogynists
wrong?
Have a good Easter!
Love Chrissy and Susie. x
The picture below is a tribute to
Mark Roberts... this is where it all
started... in the pub!!!
If you’ve ever been sent any
‘humorous’ sporting
photographs over the internet, it is
likely that they would have originated from this website.
Whoever ‘aardvark archie’ is, they
definitely have a huge collection of
unusual, sometimes funny, sometimes cringe-worthy sports photographs. Out of the 35 pictures, there
is bound to be at least one which
amuses you, or at least makes you
have a second look. There is also as
‘send-this-picture-to-a-friend’
option, so you can share the images
with anyone you choose. Although
some of the photos are not exactly
what you’d call tasteful, you’ll
probably still find yourself sniggering! Check it out!
We’ve picked out a few of the best
(tame) ones so you can get a sense
of what the others are like. Enjoy!
Chrissy
SU CRICKET CLUB: FUN IN THE SUN.
On Friday the 17th May, the
University Cricket club are set to
take on the Institute in a Varsity
match at the Hampshire Rosebowl.
It promises to be a day of ‘fun in
Continued from back
page...
the sun’, for spectators, with
special drinks promotions all
day, ice cream and refreshments
on sale, and various entertainment and competitions.
All the proceeds form the day
will go to charity.
Tickets go on sale soon!
wessexscene.co.uk 20th March 2002 - ISSUE 754 - PRICELESS
What’s Inside: Darts >>> Skiing >>> Ultimate Frisbee >>> Football and more...
NAKED
Wave-ing goodbye
to defeat
AMBITION:
One Man’s desire
for nudity
A cold and windy weekend clad
from head to toe in rubber may
not be everyone’s idea of a good
time, but for student surfers all
over the country this was to be
the most important event of the
year. With over 400 competitors,
the British University Surfing
Championships is the biggest surfing event of its kind in Europe.
Newquay becomes a student mecca
for the only time in the year, attracting vast numbers of supporters as
Cast your minds back to the last
issue, and you might remember
our ‘website of the week’ - the
wonderful Mark Roberts and his
world of streaking. As promised,
we contacted the world’s number
one streaker for an exclusive
interview.
As streaking or public nudity is
something which a few students
may try at some point in their
University career, we thought it
might be usefull to ask Mark for
any advise he could give.
When we called Mark, he was in
the comfort of a Liverpool pub.
Fully clothed (we assume!), Mark
was really friendly, entertaining and
had a great sense of humour (unsuprisingly!) He was full of hilarious
stories, most of which can be found
on his website:
www.thestreaker.org.uk.
Continued Inside:
well as competitors.
On the evening of 28th February,
one minibus containing two teams
of four girls and a team of six
boys embarked on the treacherous journey along the coast to
Newquay. Five hours later and we
arrived at Fistral Backpackers,
the hostel we were sharing with
the Southampton Institute. After a
continued inside...
PART OF A SPORTS CLUB? GOT A STORY TO TELL? CONTACT US AT: sport@wessexscene.co.uk
Reach for the stars...
...ignite your
potential
Source: NASA
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