“What Your Child Needs to Thrive” with David Benzel

“What Your Child Needs to Thrive”
with David Benzel
Author & America’s Sport Family Coach
How to Help Your Kids Win at Life
Copyright © 2013, Growing Champions for Life
“THRIVE”
A Guide to Happiness and Well-Being
Develop
Character
Create Well-Being
Potential Realized
& Value Added
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The Two Sides of Family Life
Sport Side/School Side
Conversations about:
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Focus on:
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Intentional about:
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Character Side
Conversations about:
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Focus on:
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Intentional about:
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From “The Only Way to Win” by Dr. Jim Loehr
What do the people in each category have in common with others in that list?
What’s the criteria for success in your home?
A.
B.
1. Were you always truthful?
2. Did you play fair?
O.J. Simpson
Roger Clemens
Jose Canseco
Marion Jones
Floyd Landis
Michael Vick
Mark McGwire
Chad Johnson
Sam Bradford
Monica Seles
Arthur Ashe
Payne Stewart
Grant Hill
Tim Tebow
Tony Dungy
John Wooden
3. Were you respectful of others?
4. Did you compete with honor?
5. Were you positive and
constructive with team members?
6. Were you humble in victory?
How can we teach our children to win at life?
From “The Only Way to Win” by Dr. Jim Loehr
Step 1 - Circle Your Top Ten
Effort Investment
Hope
Seeking
Challenges
Competitiveness
Perseverance
Love of Learning
Self-Discipline
Creativity
Resiliency
Punctuality
Constructiveness
Critical Thinking
Self-Control
Decisiveness
Hard Work
Humor
Ambition
Mental Toughness
Optimism
Focus
Resourcefulness
Bravery
Determination
Energy Investment
Reliability
Patience with Self
Concentration
Commitment
Positivity
Diligence
Responsibility
Love for Others
Truthfulness
Justice
Loyalty to Others
Care for Others
Integrity
Fairness
Patience with Others
Kindness
Humility
Generosity
Respect for Others
Honesty
Gratefulness
Compassion
Honor
PERFORMACE CHARACTER STRENGTHS
STRENGTHS
STRATEGIES
To Show
Perseverance
To Take
Responsibility
To Learn
New Skills
To Enjoy
SelfDiscipline
To Invest
Effort &
Energy
I wonder how I can
help my child learn
to overcome
setbacks?
I wonder how I
can make it safe
for my child to
admit mistakes?
I wonder how I can
create opportunities
for my child to love
learning new skills?
I wonder how I
can teach the
benefits of selfdiscipline ?
I wonder how I can
demonstrate genuine
enthusiasm and also
accept my child’s
passions?
1.
1.
1.
1.
1.
2.
2.
2.
2.
2.
3.
3.
3.
3.
3.
Copyright © 2012 Growing Champions for Life
MORAL CHARACTER STRENGTHS
STRENGTHS
STRATEGIES
To Care
for Others
To Show
Humility
To Express
Gratefulness
To Be
To Be
Patient with Respectful of
Others
Others
I wonder how I can
teach my child a
caring spirit?
I wonder how I
can help my child
overcome pride?
I wonder how I can
create an attitude
of gratitude?
I wonder how I
can teach the
benefits of
patience?
I wonder how I can
demonstrate genuine
respect for all?
1.
1.
1.
1.
1.
2.
2.
2.
2.
2.
3.
3.
3.
3.
3.
Copyright © 2012 Growing Champions for Life
Character Scorecard
Build a list of your top six character strengths. Half or more should come from the “Moral”
list. Next, give yourself a grade on each one based on 1) how strong you are at it, and
2) how much energy you invest in improving that character strength.
Priority
Character Strength
Grade
#1
___________________
__
#2
___________________
__
#3
___________________
__
#4
___________________
__
#5
___________________
__
#6
___________________
__
From “The Only Way to Win” by Dr. Jim Loehr
Invest Energy in Your Character Muscles
Choose your highest priority character strength that you wish to grow for the next two weeks (just one at
a time). Determine how you will make energy investments in that character muscle and keep a daily log
of your activities. Think of these as training deposits much like lifting weights to grow physical muscles.
Here are some ways to invest energy in your growth.
From “The Only Way to Win” by Dr. Jim Loehr
Eight Activities that Develop Character Strengths
1.
Create a character scorecard of the top six traits you’re working on.
2.
Help your children create their own character scorecard.
3.
Praise energy invested and progress made.
4.
Reinforce that every choice has character consequences.
5.
Teach your children that character “muscles” must be built up.
6.
Model the character traits you want your children to learn.
7.
Promote the idea of performing acts of kindness and reporting back.
8.
Use winning and losing as opportunities to teach character lessons.
Adapted from “The Only Way to Win” by Jim Loehr
What Creates Well-Being and Happiness?
From: www.authentichappiness.com
Your Score 1- 5
1. __________ Emotion
•The “pleasant” life; emotional pleasures,
warmth and comfort;
2. ________________
•Realization of worthwhile goals; to exert mastery
of one’s environment;
3. ________________
•Being “in the flow”; adapting life so you can
use your highest time-stopping strengths;
4. ________________
•Long-lasting, secure relationships in which
you know others care, and you care for them;
5. ________________
•Knowing your strengths and using them in the
service of something bigger than yourself;
What’s not on the list? -------------------- “________”
Eight Activities that Create Well-Being
1. Create a Personal Strengths list;
2. Assess your strengths at www.authentichappiness.com and compare;
3. Keep a daily record of 3 “Golden” Moments; (“What went well today”)
4. Keep a Gratitude Journal (make 3 daily entries)
5. Write a “Forgiveness” letter to let go of a grudge;
6. Practice an optimistic explanatory style when misfortune strikes;
7. Create a 5:1 Environment – 5 positive emotions for every 1 negative;
8. Set aside a specific time for prayer/meditation daily;
Adapted from “Flourish” by Martin Seligman
Our Family Scoreboard
1. What makes our family unique?
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
2. What is our top priority – our rallying cry – right now?
3. Action Items
The Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni
www.growingchampionsforlife.com
“Sport Family Advantage”
Personalized coaching for your family with David Benzel
Contact: david@growingchampionsforlife.com
“Sport Parent Hot Button
Cards”(24 situations with
72 strategies for $19.95)
“5 Powerful Strategies for
Sport Parent Success”
($5.00 each, & discounts for teams)
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