Introduction

Introduction
Thank you for purchasing the “Get Her Back” report. This short manual will show
you exactly how to get your ex-girlfriend back.
The theory behind getting your ex back is simple:
1) Determine what went wrong.
2) Fix whatever went wrong and make sure your ex notices.
Whether you want to believe it or not, your girlfriend wants you back. You’ve
“attracted” her before and can do it again – in fact, it’s often easier the second
time round. The only reason you’re apart is that you’ve let some things slip.
This manual will focus on giving you actionable steps – things you can start doing
right now to get your ex back. I’ll show you how to get your “mojo” back.
Before we get going, make sure you aren’t doing any of the following…
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Trying to persuade her with logic to take you back
Telling her "I'll always be there for you"
Begging and pleading with her to take you back
Constantly texting and phoning her
Trying to get her back with flowers and gifts
Waiting by the phone for her to call you back
Promising her that "things will be different"
… and if you are, stop right now and read this report! The above wont work.
Important: Throughout this entire book, remember that
women are emotional creatures. They react to emotions
rather than logic. Trying to logically convince your ex
to get back with you won’t work. You need to create the
emotions you used to make her feel. More on this later.
Everything happens for a reason. We need to determine why she decided to date
you in the first place and then why she decided to break up with you. There are
some universal truths that apply to almost everyone. Once we’ve identified these
reasons, we can then create a blueprint to allow you to get your ex back in the
shortest amount of time possible.
Your ex wants to get back with you. Our aim is to remove all the barriers stopping
her – we need to clear the path.
***
This book is structured in a unique way. I have fused the theory and
implementation parts together. Most books begin with theory and move on to
application – actually, most books probably never get to the application part.
I know you don’t really care about the theory. You just want to get your ex back as
quickly as possible. The problem is, the theory is pretty important. You need to
change your mindset.
Every time I put forth some theory, I will provide you with actionable steps to go
with the theory and some concrete examples. Performing the steps and reading
the examples will strongly consolidate the theory.
I know you are probably very emotional right now. I’ve
been there – I’ve felt the pain and the sadness. You’re
on an emotional rollercoaster. You need to put the
brakes on though. Put your feelings on hold. We’ll be
looking at your situation objectively and we need to
keep emotions out of it. You need to see things from her
perspective.
Quick tip: Find a hobby that can help take your mind of
the breakup. I’ve found that for a lot of people, going
to the gym really helps takes your mind of things. Plus,
in the long run, it makes you more attractive!
Although I provide you with actions, tricks, tactics and systems, these CANNOT be
faked. You need to truly understand why these work, trust in them and use them
honestly. Your ex will see right through you if you try and “trick” her into coming
back. That’s why we include the theory.
A good way of thinking about the whole thing; you have to be that genuine guy she
loved in the first place. In fact, let’s aim a bit higher – you have to be better than
you were.
There will be some things in this book that will seem counterproductive. But trust
me, I have been in your situation and I have tried and tested everything I outline.
This manual is the result of many years of work.
The book is broken up into three parts. The first part will allow us to determined
what went wrong whilst the second will enable us to fix the issues we identified.
The third part will outline a blueprint we can use to then get you back with your
ex as quickly as possible.
Thanks again & good luck!
- Bruce Burn (Any questions? Contact me here)
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Part 1: What Went Wrong
The Relationship Timeline
We need to determine what went wrong during your relationship. Your relationship
started off well but at some point something went wrong. We need to objectively
analyze your relationship to determined what that “something” was.
The following “relationship timeline” will enable you to determined at what point
your relationship went wrong. We can then analyze that part to identify exactly
why it went wrong.
All relationships go through these six stages. Even the relationships that are
shorter than 3 months; the only differences is that the length of the stages vary
considerably.
The average relationship follows a simple path:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
The Perfect Stage
The Realisation Stage
The Drained Stage
The Plummet Stage
The Break Up
The Brawling Stage
Note: Some stages are skipped in the event of a partner
cheating. You can jump straight from the perfect stage
to the break-up stage if you are cheated on. If this is
the case, skip this section and move on to the next –
“What Women Hate”.
Stage 1: The Perfect Stage
The Perfect Stage is just that… Perfect. It’s full of love, passion and affection
which is out of this world. You live in ‘Heaven’ for the first 2 to 10 months and life
is great.
The Perfect Stage allows you and her to ignore the (perhaps obvious) faults one
another has. You are both “in love”.$
In this stage, you’re emotions are so high that you hope you never come down. The
problem with this is that men tend to get swept away by the emotions when the
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women realise they can’t live in this fairytale forever. This is why men tend to fall
harder then women do when a relationship ends unexpectedly.
Not much to learn from this stage – just be aware of it and try to determine how
long it lasted.
Stage 2: The Realisation Stage
You have both come down from the clouds and you have just realised you are in a
serious relationship. Everything is still the same; you still love her as she does you.
But everything is a little calmer. You become more aware of your surroundings and
you are more conscious about how you are acting with your girl in public.
Your eyes are now open to the world and to her. You begin to realise things about
her that you didn’t notice before. You, being the man, tend to push it aside and
not worry about it.
Unfortunately, women like to find reasons as to why you are not the perfect man.
And they begin to make a collection of faults to use against you as ammunition if a
fight breaks out.
This issue with this attention to detail is that, it tends to be a curse for men
because they are oblivious to this scheme, they continue acting the way they were
in the Perfect Stage and this is where the start of the break up begins.
Ammunition begins to gather as time goes past. Anything that is usable even if it
trivial. If you leave the toilet seat up, it’s recorded. If you leave dirty socks on the
ground it’s recorded.
I understand what you are thinking, “Why is it my fault?” Well, it isn’t necessarily
your fault but everything she has recorded in her little book of faults is a direct
result of one of two things that you do:
•
•
TOO much attention
Not ENOUGH attention
Do you want to know the good thing? One of the above two things are the sole
reason for the breakup. Regardless of what she says. Your job is to find out where
the threshold point is for both factors and not cross them.
Which path do you feel you most likely followed?
Path 1: After the Perfect stage, you took a little longer to come out of it than she did. You
gave her everything she wanted and spent A LOT of time with her.
If you followed path 1, than she lost her attraction towards you
because you started becoming a needy, over attentive weak man.
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Path 2: You moved passed the Reality stage very quickly and began taking her for granted.
You thought she would be by your side regardless of what happens and you didn’t pay
attention to her needs, whether they were physical or emotional.
If you followed path 2, then she had had enough of the little attention
she was receiving and began to reassess whether you would keep your
“promise” to her.
Think back to this part of your relationship – you chose one of these paths.
Stage 3: The Drained Stage
This stage is a simple case of one of you losing interest in the other. The graphs
below will help explain the situation. They show the alternate cases - you losing
interest in her or her losing interest in you.
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When you began going out, you were head over heels for each other. But as you
can see by the illustrations, one of you has begun to lose interest, patience and
pondered the idea of moving on.
This is the stage where fights really become apparent. Generally, what happens is
the one who has the most interest become paranoid that the other was cheating
which causes the other to pull away even further. The alert signal that a
relationship is in trouble begins to start flashing.
This stage transitions into the next stage as soon as one of you reaches your
“Threshold Point” (see the graphs above). The Threshold Point is where the real
deviation of interest begins to happen. The significance of this stage is that it is
the real cause of the breakup.
In order to recover your relationship, you need to identify the issues that took
place at this exact phase of the relationship. And you need to do fix these with
actions, not just words. I’ll talk about this in more detail later on but for example,
if you were needy, you need to become more independent. If you were
overattentive you need to become more selfish (to an extent). If you were not
attentive enough, you need to be more attentive.
You need to be the man she wants you to be and you need to live up to the
promise of being a man. This may all be a little confusing but don’t worry - it will
all make sense soon.
Stages 4 & 5: The Plummet & Breakup Stages
These two phases are combined because one quickly follows the other. A woman
usually enters this stage because she is tried of the drained stage or someone new has
entered her life.
The breakup stage is where the heart gets hit with a direct blow from rejection. To
begin with, you may feel relief that the fights are over, but don’t get excited yet
because rejection releases a slow poison which usually affects your entire being.
This poison is so strong that even the strongest of men can’t stop it from its full
effects. You can’t concentrate, you can’t sleep, you can’t eat and you can’t work. It is
almost like complete paralysis.
Women will usually feel very guilty about putting you through this pain, but the last
thing you want to do here is to disrespect her. This will only re-enforce her reasoning
for leaving you.
The best thing that you can do when this happens is take it like a man. Say, “I
understand, I want you to be happy”. By doing this, you haven’t given her a reason to
back up her decision. So, later on when you go back to her she’ll still be in the gray
zone as to whether she made the right decision.
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If you did unleash hell upon her when you took the direct blow, then you have given
her the re-enforcement she needed to feel good about her decision. It will be a bit
harder to get her back – but still possible.
Stage 6: The Brawling Stage
The Brawling stage is just like the Perfect stage, all the passion is there; except the
passion is all negative and hatred towards one another. This is by far the worst stage to
be in and you are probably in this stage right now.
This is where the work begins, as the way you act determines wherether you’ll get her
back or not.
I won’t spend a lot of time describing the Brawling stage because you are experiencing
it first hand, but basically the ‘poison’ has unleashed its full effects and your mind is
experiencing the brunt of the attack. You are feeling happy and sad, hot and cold,
tense and relaxed; painful and painless and more, all at the same time.
Your body is a fountain of emotions right now and you need to empty your fountain in
order to allow logic to take its place.
It’s now time to start taking some action – time to get your ex back.
Follow along exactly as I say and you’ll get your ex back. If you don’t do everything I
explain to its fullest extent, then you will have wasted your time. If you only do half of
the strategy or only give 50% of the effort, then deep down inside you do not want to
get back with your girl.
If you do want to get back with her, you’d be willing to do anything and everything to
get her back. RIGHT?
@$
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Things Women Hate
There are some things ALL women hate. Chances are you were doing some of these
things during the Draining stage of the relationship.
Never listen to what a woman says they want in a relationship. Pay more attention
to what she DOES. Why? Because often, women DON’T know themselves; they
pretend they do, but if you actually see the guys that they go out with, they can
be nothing like the sensitive, caring and attentive man that she says she wants.
She DOESN’T want a man who:
•
•
•
•
Pays TOO much attention to her
Shares his feelings to her all the time
Allows her to ‘wear the pants’ in the relationship
Lets her walk all over him and demands that her needs are attended to
before his.
Have you heard the expression “Jerk gets the hot girls”? Well, it’s true. Do you
think a jerk is likely to have the above traits… NO.
Don’t attend to her every beck and call. Don’t be the waiter of her life.
Instead, when in a relationship:
•
•
•
•
Be the leader – ‘Wear the pants’ and call the shots in the relationship.
Don’t attend to her every need. If you’re busy tell her you’re busy and she’ll
have to wait.
Provide her with the security she requires. Be faithful, provide her with
companionship and keep the relationship exciting by taking her on dates and
days out.
Be respectful and affectionate.
If you do the above things, then you will have a happy a strong relationship. But
ensure that the relationship doesn’t become a boring routine. Keep the
partnership exciting and fun.
And this isn’t necessarily expensive. You can do this by taking her on dates where
you don’t spend anything more than 20 pounds. For example, fly a kite, make ice
cream/cookies, make a picnic and go to a park. These ideas are cheap and easy
but most importantly, EXCITING or at least DIFFERENT from the normal
relationship of the routine. Doing things like this also shows that you are a fun and
adventurous guy.
Exercise:
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This week I want you to want you to try and identify between the ‘provider guys’
(nice guy, submissive, stable job etc) and ‘good gene guys’ (dominant, high social
status, funny etc) when you are interacting or see men.
Keep in mind that they may have characteristics of both – they are not mutually
exclusive, just assess which bracket they would fit into and then think about why?
The KEY for ULTIMATE ATTRACTION is to have a combination of both.
When you have done this exercise at least 10 times, write down a list of
characteristics that you think that the different types of guys have.
And now you have this written down, you can study and incorporate them as your
own.
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Things Women Love
Your ex girlfriend was once very strongly attracted to you. You must understand
why and make sure you still demonstrate all the characteristics you once did.
Fortunately, there are some universal truths here – personality traits that almost
all women are attracted to. Every man can cultivate these traits and internalize
them. You once had them but they are most likely dormant within you.
This section will most likely kill two birds with one stone. You will soon realize
that your ex girlfriend broke up with you because you started to lose these traits.
We will emphasize this in the next section.
***
When you ask a woman the cliché question of what do you look for in a man? They
don’t know, so they give a cliché answer:
•
"I want a man that's sensitive"
•
"I want a man that's not afraid to share his feelings"
•
"I want a man that's understanding"
•
"I want a man that treats me with respect"
Have you heard these before? Of course you have. Have you tried being these
things when you first meet a woman? If so, you will have experienced first hand
how quickly you become a new member of the dreaded “Friend Zone”.
There are in fact eight characteristics that a woman looks for in a man, whether
they are consciously aware of it or not. The urge to find these traits in a man are
based on evolutionary advancements that we as men have no control over. This
basic criterion is based on a woman’s “Survival” and “Replication” chances.
Women know that if a man has the majority of the traits that I am about to
outline, they’re likely to breed, have healthy children, feel safe, protected and
carry on their genes.
There are three types of characteristics:
1) Foundational characteristics.
a. Health – A woman can see that you are fit and healthy
b. Social Skills– You have friends and can talk to people. Basically,
you’re not the weird creepy dude that no one likes
c. Personality and Humour – You can make her laugh or she loves being
around you and talking to you
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2) Attribute characteristics – Can be observed but often learned
a. Power and Status – People respect you and you are successful or high
status in the circles that you are involved in
b. Being rich or financially stable – You are financially stable which
means that you can look after a woman and her children
c. Kindness and warmth – You are a good guy and, combined with being
well liked (“Social Skills”), also show that you are a good person
while not being a “wuss”
3) Outcome characteristics – All observed expect pre-selection which is told or
learned.
a. Confidence – Shows that you are willing to go after want you want
regardless of what others think about you
b. Not a rollover – Play hard to get – the harder a woman tries to get a
man, the more she appreciates him
c. Pre-selected – Shows other woman find you desirable and are willing
to go out with you
Your goal is to make sure you demonstrate ALL of the above traits but there was
definitely at least ONE of the above that made her attracted to you in the first
place.
In the next section, I will show you exactly HOW to start hitting these
characteristics so that you can regain the lost attraction.
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Part 2: Fixing What Went Wrong
Becoming The Alpha Male
In the previous section, we talked about the personality traits women hate and
love. You need to get rid of all the bad characteristics women hate and start
internalising the ones they love. You want to become the “alpha male” – the guy
who has all the traits women LOVE.
Below, I’ve explained each characteristic and some tips and methods you can use
to start becoming the alpha make.
Health – You must appear healthy to a woman, take pride in your image and have a
strong immune system.
•
•
•
If you can, workout. Go to the gym. It will help take your mind of things and
make you look better.
Never tell a woman you are sick or were recently sick (same with any
injuries).
Tell women about the sports you do – Mountain climbing, hiking and
extreme sports are the most attractive for women. But don’t say you do
these if you don’t.
To show that you’re healthy, find clothes that contour to your body to show your
build. Don’t wear clothes that are too tight because that doesn’t impress anybody
but find ones that are comfortable and look good.
Other things to look after are:
1. Facial blemishes
a. If you have pimples, get a pimple cream or if they are bad visit a
dermatologist. I know it’s expensive but what is the cost of healthy
looking skin.
2. Nails
a. Have clean and dry nails. Cutting wet nails can make them jagged.
b. Don’t cut nails straight across until they no longer extend over your
finger or toe, so that they don’t show any white. It will grow back
much stronger than before.
c. Use a nail file to make sure the edges of the nail are smooth. Jagged
nails can catch on clothes, socks, and pantyhose and potentially
cause nails to tear or break
d. Nails should be slightly square or oval and not pointed. This will
prevent them from breaking.
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e. Nails can weaken if you file too low into the corners and sides.
f. File gently in one long stroke, from the side to the center of the nail.
g. The ideal length that suits most hands is just over the fingertip. DO
NOT CUT INTO THE QUICK.
h. Don't bite your nails, it looks bad and implies a nervous personality.
3. Hair – don’t leave your house without any product. Find a hairstyle you like
and then imitate it. The best advice i can give, is to Google hairstyles and
find one you like. Go to the hairdressers and show them a photo and get
them to cut your hair accordingly.
While you are at the hairdressers ask them which type of hair product is
best for your hair.
1. Fudge and Matt allows you to style your hair without looking like you
have any product in your hair.
2. Wax is a very strong product and generally stays in your hair for
days. However, it does allow you to alter your hair during the day.
3. Gel gives your hair a wet look but generally doesn’t last that long.
4. Body odour – if you smell, you can forget trying to attract any women.
Nothing is more of a turn off than BO. ALWAYS wear some sort of deodorant
or fragrances when you go out.
These may not seem very important but a woman will pick up on this and they
know healthy men won’t forget to look after these areas.
Social intuition – Are your social skills. If you walk into a club and you begin
talking to complete strangers it is clear you are a social and popular guy and that is
attractive to women.
•
•
•
Next time you go to a party where your ex is, become the social bunny that
everyone likes.
By having cool (or high status) friends (Male and Female) and simply letting
women see you communicate with them, this shows that you are also a cool
or high status person and will create attraction.
Also by talking to her about your friends and the great things that they are
doing. Remember – if you are perceived as having a bunch of cool friends
who are high status themselves, it will seem like you are high status and
well connected, which will help to create attraction.
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Humour – You should make women laugh and feel happy. No one wants to be upset
and depressed all the time and it’s your job to ensure she isn’t. A woman will take
fun over boring.
•
•
Be the overconfident guy who is ‘cocky funny’ (talked about later on).
o I.E. If you are talking to a girl you might say “You’re a player aren’t
you?” Or “Stop trying to pick me up I’m here to have fun gees”.
Tease women all the time – they love it!
Games you can play in to create humour are:
Would you rather? The idea of this game is to give two options and ask which the
women would rather do, and then she gets to choose two things. This game can
literally go on for hours and you end up with some pretty wacky stuff.
•
•
•
•
•
Would you rather, lose one breast or not have sex for 10 years?
Would you rather, not be able to speak or not ever have sex again?
Would you rather, lose an arm of a leg?
Would you rather, live forever or die tomorrow?
Would you rather, have one arm twice as long as the other or one leg twice
as long as the other?
Another game is Fuck/Marry/Kill. This is where you and your girl walk around a
club and you pick three people and you say would you rather fuck/marry or kill
those three people there.
Status – High status generates attraction. In fact, it is one of the most important
factors in generating attraction. Ways of showing high status is by having other
friends of high status i.e. you know the doorman at a high end club so you can skip
the queue, the manager of a bar shakes your hand when you arrive.
•
If you have a favourite club from now on shake the hand of every doorman
that works there on that night – this will help them remember you and will
help you skip the queue in the future.
Other ways to create attraction with women is to:
•
Let her see you in places where you know the people around you and where
they will validate you. So, for example, this may be at your work place, for
example a work party, where you have your friends around etc.
•
Go to the same restaurants over and over and get to know the
waiters/waitresses, having them talk to you in a friendly manner will show
her that you are good with people and more importantly people know and
like you.
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•
Fix your body language into high status body language.
Once you have high status in certain places, if you (a) meet or (b) bring girls there,
attraction will be much easier to generate.
Wealth – There was a study conducted where ten random men were rated by
women based on their appearances out of ten. The ones that got eight or above
were asked to be rated by another set of random women. This time the participant
had a made up job and an annual salary which was very low; the women rated him
as half of their original score.
However, the complete opposite happened when they showed a ‘3’ with an annual
salary of $500,000+. Women began to rate him as an eight or nine and one even
said ten. This doesn’t mean women are shallow, it just means that women know
life will be easier and the chances of survival will be greater with someone who is
financially comfortable.
There are easier things to show your wealth:
•
•
•
Go to nice clubs
When you pay for something have a bundle of notes with the largest on the
outside
Dress nicely
Confidence – Shows you are willing to go after want you want regardless of what
others think about you. Be the overconfident guy who acts like he doesn’t need
anybody.
•
•
When you walk into a club/bar walk around and act like you own the place.
Women will notice this and if your girlfriend is there she will too.
A funny way of looking at it; behave like it’s your birthday all the time.
When you’re in a club behave like it’s your party.
Confident men aren’t afraid of being sexual beings. They project the raw sexual
animal inside. The best way to describe a sexual man is like a lion behind caged
doors. If the cage wasn’t there, the lion would destroy you. You can portray
yourself as a sexual beast by:
1.
2.
Thinking sexual, think of the woman sexually as if you have already been
with her in a sexual manner, you yourself will then start to feel like a sexual
being and will begin to emanate this.
Know and feel that you are a sexual human being and that you like sex and
enjoy it, there is nothing wrong with it and you feel comfortable sexually.
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3.
Radiate this in you body language, stand tall and don’t be afraid to take up
space.
4.
If you catch the eye of an attractive woman, make up your mind there and
then if you would want to be sexual with her, make your way over to her
with this intent and know that she like you enjoys the act of sex, leave all
your coyness behind and talk without hesitation.
5.
Use your eyes and your body to capture her attention, by this you need to
look at her suggestively, let her fall into a void of just you and her, study
her touch her and let her know that you are a sexual being. (Talk to her, use
the techniques you have learnt but make sure she feels your masculine
presence.)
6.
Kiss her, make her feel wanted, hold her and touch her, pull her in close
and let her know exactly what is going on in your mind, by doing this you
are escalating in a sexual manner.
7.
Then cool down, become tender, let her know that you are endeared by
her, smile and laugh about the situation with her, let her know that you are
affectionate.
8.
Let her know what it is you want and tell her how you feel, let her know you
are sexual.
9.
Be dominant, let her know you are in charge by taking control of the
situation, lead her to seats, corners etc.
Challenging – Play hard to get – the harder a woman tries to get a man the more
she appreciates him.
Below are two scenarios – I want you to decide which job you would appreciate
more.
Scenario 1 - You to go for an interview and sit down for five minutes before being
offered the job.
Scenario 2 – You go through five interviews, you compete against 20 people for one
position, you undergo several theoretical and practical exams and then you are
offered the job.
If you said scenario one then you are the typical needy guy that women hate.
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If you just met a woman and she said, “Can I kiss you?” Or, “Should we get out of
here?” If you say ‘Yes’ she then classes you as another easy guy. But if you said,
“Maybe, but not right now” She will be shocked because this never happens to her
and she will try harder to get you.
•
If your girlfriend says you should get back together after 1 week and you’re
still implementing one of your strategies, you have to make the executive
decision as to whether you want her to work for you. After all she did put
you through Hell.
Pre-selected – Shows other woman are willing to go out with you. One way to
spark a few attraction switches is to start hanging out with other women. If you
and your girlfriend are officially broken up, there is NO point putting your life on
hold for her – she hasn’t done it for you.
•
So go to town with women – this doesn’t mean you have to do anything with
them you are simply hanging out with girls.
Others ways to portray pre-selection to women is by subtlety including it in your
sentences. The idea is to tell women you have dated beautiful women and
beautiful have been attracted to you.
By letting her and wanting her to know that your last girlfriend was an exotic
dancer (clearly you haven’t dated an exotic dancer, most people haven’t but she
doesn’t know that). This works because it shows that you have been with beautiful
girls before. You can drop this into a conversation by putting it into stories or
mentioning it furtively in a conversation, like this:
•
“You know, that’s interesting, because, my ex-girlfriend always used to say
(Reacting to the comment just made by the woman). Not that she was a
professional at it or anything, she was actually an exotic dancer, but that
was her opinion / I think she had a good feel for that sort of thing”
OR
•
YOU: “You look like you like dancing”
HER: “Yes / No / Maybe”
YOU: “My ex girlfriend was an exotic dancer and she was kind of your build
and height”
Witnessed pre-selection is the strongest but verbal is the next best option. The
weird thing about pre-selection is that you don’t have to be seen with models in
order for women to be attracted to you and jealous of the girls with you.
If you’re in town with other girls, and your girlfriend is there, she will become
jealous and this is one of the strongest emotions a person can feel in a relationship
(I’m sure you know).
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She may begin to go out with guys, if she does, don’t be affected by this, be the
natural overconfident and genuine guy she wants and she will drop the act and
head back to you.
CA$
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Getting Your Girlfriend Back
The fundamentals have now been covered. We’ve talked about the relationship
timeline, identified the point at which your relationship started failing and looked at
why it failed. We then talked about how we can change ourselves and become the
“alpha male”.
Now it’s time to develop a blueprint to ensure you get your girlfriend back as quickly
as possible. We need to show her we’re the “alpha male”.
Quick re-cap/summary:
1.
2.
3.
Women want a confident man
Women NEED security. And it’s your job to provide it.
The power in a relationship lies with the one who needs it the least.
Number three is a very powerful statement. If you maintain that mind frame
throughout the next section, it will make the whole process easier and will naturally
lead to you becoming a confident man.
Quick bit on confidence:
Along with the section on ‘Becoming The Alpha male’ the being ‘Cocky-funny’ will give
you a heads up on how to act confident.
Cocky-funny
You need to be overconfident. Cocky-funny, as David DeAngelo describes it. Cockyfunny is where you act way too confident but in a fun way. You need to tease her like
you’re little sister, don’t flower her with compliments – tease her.
YOU: Are those nails real?
HER: NO
YOU: OH, there nice anyway.
YOU: OMG, I love your skirt. I have seen like ten of them today.
YOU: Your make-up has smudged (she’ll feel embarrassed by this. I know it’s trivial
but trust me girls are extremely concerned with their appearance)
YOU: ‘Hi 5’ her, but purposefully miss her hand then snicker at her with a cheeky
grin.
CB$
Other examples:
1.
Having a small pillow fight with her if you are on the couch.
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2.
Trick her and tease her. For example, you can say things like, ‘Did you know
that while you sleep, your heart actually stops for 30 minutes in the middle
of the night?’ Then when she says, ‘Really? Wow, I didn’t know that’, you
say, ‘OMG I can’t believe how gullible you are!’ (Obviously this needs to be
done in a playful manner, otherwise you could just come across as insulting,
and you can do this by letting her know how cute her reaction was.)
3.
If you are on a date and walking on the street, as you are both walking side
by side, just position yourself so that she walks towards and into a pole. She
will stop herself, laugh and likely hit you on the shoulder for being playful.
4.
Play games like thumb wrestling that get you touching each other in a
playful way, equally as effective is deciding on something using Rock –
Paper- Scissors or doing a best out of three with a coin toss. (It creates a fun
and playful vibe which she doesn’t likely get with other men.)
The idea to cocky-funny is to tease her like you would a little sister or cousin. But
the catch is if you were crying to her a week ago then you become this
overconfident guy, she’ll see right through it.
Gradually become overconfident by throwing in one tease a meeting, then two
then more and more until you are bombarded her with them. If she isn’t laughing
with you when you tease her, don’t apologise, just back off a little.
I’ll now outline five strategies. No matter how complex your relationship is, no mater
what type of person your girlfriend is, your case WILL fit into one of the five categories
below – period and they will help to get your ex back.
What are my chances of getting my girlfriend back?
This is an unanswerable question. There are only two people in the world
that can answer this question, do you know who they are? You and your
girlfriend; however, if you follow what you learn in this book it will
seriously increase your chances.
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3D$
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Strategy 1: The Silent Treatment (ST)
The power of this approach never ceases to amaze me. The idea of this is to simply
cease all contact via every medium with your girl, wait a while and then meet again as
your new self.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
NO text messaging
No emails
No phone calls
No talking to her
No seeing her
No letters
No songs
The reason this approach is so strong is that during a breakup, women need space to
heal. So, you are going to give it to her, all of it and more.
We are not giving her space for her to heal; you are giving yourself space from her to
heal. Most guys get emotional and needy and beg for her to come back. But you’re not
most guys; you’re a strong alpha male.
ST is NOT suitable for every situation. There are five strategies and I want you to read
them all very carefully before you decide which one is right for you.
If you pick the wrong approach it will backfire on you.
When should you use ST?
1.
2.
3.
If your situation doesn’t correctly warrant any of the other approaches.
If you don’t live in the same house, have children or any other obligations that
requires contact. If it’s possible to physically not see her then DON’T!
If she is involved with someone else
When should you not use ST?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
If you have been separated for 3 months or more with no contact.
If you are in an Ultra Short Term Relationship (less than 2 months)
If you took too long to take things to the next level and set a wedding date or
propose
If you broke up with her and you want her back
If you are still together (i.e. nothing official has happened yet – “breaks”
included)
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The reason this works so well is because she wants her personal space. Most men
don’t want to give her that space. You do! And this will ultimately bring you closer
together.
You need to realise in this situation, she is feeling the same pain as you. She doesn’t
know how to deal with it any better than you do. But the sneaky thing that women
tend to do, is when they breakup, they ask you to remain friends. You DON’T want
that.
Do you know why women ask you to remain friends throughout the breakup stage?
Because they want you to be there to support and cushion their fall; they want you to
be a shoulder to cry on.
WOW, that’s funny. Correct me if I’m wrong, but she decided you weren’t GOOD
enough for her; according to her, it was your fault the relationship ended and now
she wants YOU to help her (the woman who rejected you because you weren’t good
enough) get through the pain.
Hmm… that’s weird, is she there to cushion your fall? Is she there to be a shoulder to
cry on? Is she there to listen to your problems? NO. Oh, THEN WHY SHOULD YOU BE
THERE FOR HER?
This is the point where you need:
1.
2.
To STOP worrying about her
Start being selfish and look after yourself for a change
If she asks or has asked to be friends, what are you going to say? I hope you said NO. If
not go back to the top of ST and start again until you understand that you will not be
used and you will not be there to support her through this time.
THE POWER IN THE RELATIONSHIP LIES IN THE ONE WHO NEEDS IT THE LEAST.
Throughout this approach you need to adopt this mindset. And this mindset turns into
the strategy. I know it’s confusing but the mindset won’t work without the practical
application and visa versa.
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ST Step by Step Plan
Implementing the steps of this strategy is easy; however, it takes a man to stick to it.
It will be hard; I’m not going to lie. But if you want your girlfriend bad enough, you’ll
do what I say and not give in.
Step 1: Decide how you are going to begin this journey
1.
2.
Gentleman Option: Tell your girlfriend you need space to clear your head. Also
if you said anything during the breakup which you regret, now is the time to
apologise for it.
Easy Option: Drop of the face of the planet without telling her.
Gentleman Option
Only choose option one if you lied or called her names or something of that nature
during the breakup. You need to enter the break on GOOD terms; you can’t leave her
last thoughts about you being negative.
NOTE: When you call her, DO NOT by any means, tell her that you are there for her
and you love her!!! Saying this will drastically affect the chances of your reuniting as it
sends her mixed messages and shows you are just playing a game.
Easy Option
If you have nothing to apologise for because you took it like a gentleman, than you can
begin the NC approach when you have finished reading this book. If you want to say
sorry over something you have no control over now… don’t.
The past is the past and no matter how hard you try the only thing you can change is
the future. – Simon McEwen
You need to understand, you’re in an All or Nothing situation. You can either have her
100% or not at all, there’s no in-between. You need to ensure you to this properly
rather than focusing on her.
The other thing about this strategy which is good, is if you have been in contact with
her after the breakup, then drop of the planet, it ADDS to the shock which is very
powerful.
Step 2: Find an outlet to keep your mind busy and release the negative energy and
emotions you have stored. It’s important you do this because it helps with two
things.
1.
2.
It keeps you mind busy so your not thinking about your girl all of the time
It shows her that you are getting on with your life
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Exercise is the best activity to do because exercise releases endorphins which is an
amazing mood enhancer. Also you will look good and feel better.
Some ideas of activities:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Squash
Running
Soccer
Rugby
Workout at the gym
Walking (as last resort)
Virtually any sport that involves moving, sweating and/or playing with other
people
Studies show that listening to your favourite music also increases endorphins just
like exercise. However, listening to music is not a substitute for exercise it is simply
an addition.
Step 3: This is where this approach gets real. Get a piece of paper and write down
her number, email address and any other form of communication you have with
her. Then erase all of her details from EVERYWHERE.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Cell phone
Address book
Email list
Pager (if you have one)
Finally, delete ALL of her emails and text messages to you. DON’T read them one
last time because you’ll over analyse the email and it will just distort you from
achieving your goal.
Step 4: It’s a ‘Closing Down Sale’ and “Everything Must Go”. Find anything that has
any connection to your girl: pictures, clothes and soft toys. If she gave you some
jewellery, it’s gone. I don’t care how much you like it or whether you only have
one of it – put it in a box right now!
Step 5: Put the box in a suitcase or chest with a lock and send it to a family
member or friend who lives the furthest away from you (within the same country
preferably). The further the better because you won’t be able to give in to your
temptations and look at the memories.
If you have to give it to an extremely loyal friend and tell them to hide it from you;
preferably outside of the house, otherwise you’ll find it and open it.
Step 6: Plan an adventure. Plan something for the immediate or near future which
you will have a blast doing. Choose something different, something fun. Is there
something you have always wanted to do but never had the time? Well do that.
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You need something to take you out of your day to day norm and to help you
obtain a new look on life.
For example:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Join a club i.e. Toastmasters, squash (any sport), improvisational club,
drama club.
Join a sports team.
Get the boys together and go on a road trip. Sort out a van, don’t plan a
destination and just drive for two weeks. The adventures you will have will
be amazing and will make an amazing story.
Go and see a friend overseas.
Only do these things if they will logistically work. If you are at university or you
work, plan to get time off don’t just get up and leave.
Now you know the 6 steps to getting your girlfriend back. They go against everything you
know and what your gut is telling you. But by pushing her away you’ll begin to heal and
she’ll still be in pain. By supporting her, she’ll heal and you’ll be in pain.
THE POWER IN THE RELATIONSHIP LIES IN THE ONE WHO NEEDS IT THE LEAST.
Read the above sentence over and over again until it sinks in. But DO IT, don't just nod
along in agreement. Write it down ten times or until you know it off my heart. Then start
shouting it out as loud as you can. Get pumped and energised because you are a new man
now.
Next I’m going to explain what will happen from here on out. And if something unexpected
happens how you will deal with it.
Ready? I hope so!
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No Pain No Gain
WeECome to “hell” this is where things get tough and only the strong survive.
The best way to deal with the pain is to GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE until she comes back. She
has got on with her life so you need to as well. It’s not good for you to be in this situation
with this much pain; you are going to have to get on with life sooner or later. Why not
make it sooner?
How long will it take? Who knows? Every woman is to their own and some may take a day,
week or month. But the fundamental principle is that SHE rings you, you DON’T ring her.
How to act in any interaction with your girlfriend
If she calls pick up the phone and talk to her casually. Be in a cheerful but not childish. Be
calm not depressed. If you act like you haven’t moved on, she will think you are still hung
up over her and she still controls your life even though she isn’t in it.
The idea is to give of this aura that you have moved on and you don’t need her in your life.
The best way to describe how to act is by acting like a businessman. Act like a businessman
meeting someone new.
You’re not:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Happy
Surprised
Cold
Depressed
You are:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Casual
Calm
Light hearted
Neutral
THE NUMBER ONE RULE DURING THE ENTIRE PROCESS IN ANY AND EVERY SITUATION: You
are NOT to bring up the relationship in any way, shape or form. That’s her job.
Have you ever been called by a telemarketer trying to sell you something? When you are on
the phone to them whose job is it to keep the conversation going? It’s there job because
they are calling you and making you an offer, so it’s up to them to do the talking.
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The same applies if your girl rings you. You don’t know what she wants but it’s not your job
to find out. It’s her job to tell you. If she doesn’t, who cares? If a telemarketer rung you up
and asked you to guess what they were selling what would you do? Most likely hang up the
phone. But if your girl is beating around the bush, tell her you’re busy and you have to go.
It’s her job to do the asking, it’s your job to do the answering. Don’t give away too much
information but enough for her to think, “Wow, he’s already got on with life”.
How to deal with the following scenarios…
1.
She rings you up and begins questioning you as to why you haven’t called (assuming
you ‘dropped off the face of the planet’) Do you know why she asked this question?
She was waiting next to the phone! She was waiting for you to give in and ring, HA!
Well if she asks then tell her you needed your space. Don’t tell her you love her,
need her or will be there for her. At this point she might break down in tears and
ask for you back. If so, you’ve made it. All you have to do now is keep her.
2.
If she gets angry at you for not staying in touch (you can laugh inside because it’s
working) she is reacting to you and you want this.
If she swears or yells at you, just say ‘Yes’ nothing more than ‘Yes’. Then say you
need to go. Do not get involved and start retaliating not matter WHAT she says.
She’s after a reaction from you and if you give it to her she will feel superior again.
Be cool and calm during the conversation.
3.
If she tells you that she respects your decision and she’ll wait for you to call her
back when you’re ready. This is a test. She wants to she if you’re are a man or a
mouse. Stay strong, regardless of how stubborn you think she is she’ll call back.
4.
If she says she wants to meet you that is perfect (discussed below).
How to accept an invitation? Be cool and casual. Say “That’s sounds fine, when were you
thinking?” When she says Wednesday say you’re busy. Say I can do Friday afternoon or
Saturday morning (change days accordingly). Remember you have a life other than her, if
she wants to meet you she’ll have to wait.
If she turns around and says she can’t meet you on those days by all means to don’t say you
can meet her today! Say, “Oh, ok well what’s your week like next week?” Remember you
are a businessman. Would Donald Trump drop everything in his day to meet someone? NO.
The only time the above rule does not apply, is if the relationship is long distance and I
don’t mean 30 minutes away. I meant another city, state or country.
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During the meeting act the same as on the phone. Calm, casual and let her lead the
conversation. Remember she’s the saleswoman trying to sell you, the director of the
world’s largest business, something. It’s not your job to find out what she wants, it’s her
job to make the most of the limited time she has with you.
If she:
1. Brings up the relationship go with but don’t ask for a second chance. See what she
has to offer.
2. Wants to meet or talk on the phone for nonsense chat. You’re a busy man, you
can’t be wasting time talking about rubbish, you have a life to get on with; so, say
something has come up and you have to go, but leave politely.
a. If she continues to call and be annoying then tell her you need your space
and she needs to respect that.
3. Wants you to be a ‘shoulder to cry on’. You have a multi billion dollar business to
run, you don’t have time for that.
4. Writes/emails/texts don’t reply right away take a couple of days to reply.
a. Rings and doesn’t leave a message, don’t call her and ask what’s wrong. If
it’s not important enough to leave a message then it’s not important enough
for you to waste your time.
5. Asks you to be her friend but is going out with someone else. You need to point out
that she broke up with you, she is seeing someone else and now she wants you to be
her friend – that’s BS and you’re not going to stand for that. You need to tell her this
but in a calm way that doesn’t portray you as a victim because she won’t feel sorry
for you.
1.
QUESTION: Is there still a chance if she's talking about or seeing someone
else?
Yes, without a doubt there is a chance but there are two things to
consider.
1.
2.
Is she doing this to wind you up?
If the answer isn’t yes to the above question, know even if she does
date someone else. This doesn’t mean you have no chance, it only
means the process will take longer than usual.
6. Starts talking about your dating situation to mutual friends (relatives and family) do
not become involved and start doing the same. Information will always become
skewed and it will always get back to her.
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IMPORANT: Never ask any mutual friends about inside information about the relationship. It
shows you’re weak and your girl will find out.
QUESTION: Does she miss me?
One word… YES. It is very difficult to forget the emotions you two shared
over the time you were together. It can take months and even years to
lose the emotions for somebody.
No matter what happens, now you have been apart of her life she will
never forget you.
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Meeting Your Girlfriend… Again
Congratulations on getting this far you have done well. You have stopped being a weak,
needy man who’s begging for her attention and as a result she contacted you and asked to
meet.
QUESTION: If I messed up and begged can I still get her back?
Yes. But the more you begged or messed up the harder it will be. But
nonetheless, nothing is impossible.
Whatever you have been doing up to now keep doing it. Keep your attitude, frame of mind
strategy, by keeping things constant you will do much better when meeting your girl.
When you’re with her, stay calm; treat it like a business meeting. You’re the successful
business tyrant and she is a client who is putting forth a proposal to you.
When you meet make sure:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
You look good
Smell good
Have clean shoes
Product in your hair
Clean and pressed clothes
Don’t go in a tie and suit but go smart casual (jeans and a dress shirt)
By looking at your best it shows you have moved on and haven’t been at home for the last
two weeks crying in your room.
Mirror her when she enters the meeting. If she goes in for the hug, hug her etc. She might
throw out a test by saying “I missed you”. She may not mean it but is willing to say it
because she will know if you mean it. If this happens use the most powerful word… ‘Yes’.
Just say ‘Yes’ nothing more, nothing less (be polite and friendly when you say it). Sit down
and begin your conversation.
She is probably going to get nosey here and will ask you all about your life. She wants to see
whether you are over her yet. When she asks you all of these boring closed ended questions
you can choose how you want to answer them. Don’t give too much detail; keep it short,
sharp and simple.
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If she asks if you’re dating, tell her the truth. If someone has come into your life that you
think might turn into something special, tell her you’re seeing someone.
It’s up to you whether you want to ask her the same question. I suggest you don’t. If she
wants you to know she’ll tell you. Would a businessman ask their client detailed questions
about their personal life? Probably not. But the client might ask the businessman in order to
determine what type of deal to offer him.
*The best mentality to have when going into this meeting is that of not having any
expectations. If you don’t have expectations you can’t be disappointed.
Let’s talk time. If after one hour (at the most. Personally, half a hour is enough time) you
aren’t talking about the relationship then tell her you have to be somewhere or it was great
meeting her but you have to go. Then get on with your day. Businessmen are very busy
people with a lot going on in their lives; they don’t have time to waste talking nonsense
with clients.
Or you could tell her at the beginning of the conversation that you have somewhere to be in
half an hour. If she asks where tell her you’re going to see a mate. By doing this is forces her
to get to the point and not ‘beat around the bush’.
If she asks to meet again, tell her you’ll call her (more on this later).
During the meeting, don’t give off the impression that you will take her
back if she asks. Play hard to get and give off the impression you MIGHT
take her back.
She had her chance with you and she is the one that blew it. You’re not
going to stop you’re life to accommodate her again. You’ll think about
whether you want her back in your life again.
Other Scenario:
1.
If she tells you she has a BF
If she comes to you and tells you she is dating someone else, don’t act affected by
it, stay cool. But you need to realise she can’t come to you for laughs or comfort,
while you act like her dancing monkey, and then she goes home to her boyfriend
for everything else. You are not a man to take second rate friendship.
2.
If she is all over you:
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If she is all over you and is showing a lot of attraction towards you, don’t act like a
kid in a candy shop and get the giggles and start grabbing. NO, play it cool and let
her show all the affection she has for you, but you are only going to give her a little
bit of affection at a time.
If you pounce on what she gives you now, you’ll lose everything you have done so
far. 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Basically: you give in to her somewhat but when
you start reaching that threshold where you're giving too much — you back off.
To increase your chances of getting back with your ex, take her on emotionally charged dates.
This is a fairly long topic – I’ll email you about this in tomorrow.
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Approach 2: Extreme Contact (EC)
EC is the exact opposite of ST and should only be used for an ‘Ultra’ Short-Term
relationship (UST).
An UST relationship is a relationship which is less than a month and a half. An UST
relationship is very similar to a 2-3 year relationship, the only difference is that the
stages at which the two partners enter and pass through them are increased ten
fold.
Reasons why a UST fails:
1.
2.
3.
4.
You moved too fast
You went overboard with your feelings
You were too clingly
You told her you love her (you can’t love someone after a month)
What to do:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Implement ST for seven days
Implement EC and spend time with her
Be an alpha male
Slow down with the feelings
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Approach 3: Half Silent Treatment (HST)
EC is used when it is physically impossible to use ST. EC is used if you HAVE to see each other
on a regular basis i.e. you work with her.
You should only use HST if you:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Live together
Work together
Have children together
Go to school together
Are in the same class
Are apart of the same team/club
Have a pet
You should not use EC if you:
1.
Can use ST
You need to still act cool, unavailable and gentlemen like. You have to see your girlfriend
even if you don’t want to
If you live together: ST is out of the question. Everything still applies, you still need to show
her that you don’t need her and have moved on. But during the initial stages you have to be
careful as to where you express your emotions as you are in a semi-public environment.
The problem with this scenario is that if you act s though you are over her then spend hours
in your room crying, she is going to know about it. So, you are actually going to have to speed
up the process of getting on with life.
If she goes out on dates, do the same. Don’t sit around the house waiting for her to come
back because she won’t pity you and it won’t help you get rid of the pain.
Now, she’ll likely come to you for comfort but you’re not going to let her. Are you?
Keep this up until she comes back and she will. If she moves out, even better, initiate ST.
The same rule applies for HST – don’t bring up the relationship unless she does.
If you have a child/ren together: Once again the aforementioned rules above still apply
here. However, the tables have turned a little because everything you do must be “secret”
so that it does not affect the child/ren.
In this situation you need to only see her as the father of the child/ren and only contact her
about matters regarding the child/ren.
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For all other circumstances (e.g. you have a pet together or share something
that requires regular contact and it's something other than children): Rules above
apply here.
Only contact her regarding mater of the object which requires you to meet. Don’t make
up excuses to call her!
If you work together/attend the same school (in the same class): The same rules as above
apply but the important thing to note her is that you have just gone through a ‘Public Breakup’. You really need to keep your composure here as everything you do is public.
Try to, to the best of your ability, not let the gossip that may be going around get to you.
Keep your private life private, even if she doesn’t.
If you ‘owe’ her: If she helped you through a really bad time (i.e. a death or something
medical related) and she suffers something similar and she calls on you for support, you
are kind of obliged to help her.
But you are only helping her regarding the matter at hand; as soon as that is complete
you must completely undergo the chosen approach. While helping her you must not bring
up the relationship, she must do that.
The benefit about this situation is that helping her through something bad will likely bring
you closer and you two can reunite.
46$
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Approach 4: Adjusted Contact (AC)
The idea of LAC is to get closer to her rather than push her away. It’s a mixture of
the above two strategies.
You should use this approach if:
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
You are still together (nothing is official yet but you’re expecting a breakup
or you are on a ‘break’)
You failed to commit to marriage
You broke up with her
You were dating someone else while dating this girl and you didn’t end it
soon enough (i.e. she is/was your mistress)
You are married and heading for separation or divorce.
You should avoid using this strategy if:
1.
2.
If she’s with someone else
Your situation doesn’t fit into the option above
If you are still with her: You need to analyse the two graphs shown earlier and decide which
one applies to you.
If you haven’t been paying enough attention… then begin. If you have been paying too much
attention and being too needy and clingy then gradually give here some space.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Text her a little less each day
Call her a little less each week
See her a little less each week
BUT DON’T STOP CONTACTING HER ALL AT ONCE. JUST TONE DOWN THE
INTERATION BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU.
The importance of doing this gradually is if you did this all at once she will notice and begin
to think you are doing what you are doing because you are afraid of losing her.
She will also think as soon as the fear disappears, you’ll go back to the way you were.
Gradual change is KEY.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Get her flowers
Help out around the house
Take her out on a special date
Make her a candle lit dinner of her favourite food
4?$
Sit down with your girl and tell her you want to strengthen your relationship and you want to
do it together.
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If she says you do something that you don’t agree with, don’t argue with her, agree and ask
how you could change. Make sure you have a couple things you would like her to change
otherwise it appears as though she is perfect and you are the problem.
If this girl was your mistress but you took too long to breakup with your
immediate partner (e.g. you were married and the divorce process took too long to
finalise) then the answer is fairly simple you need to breakup with your partner. But
here’s the catch, after you breakup with her there is no guarantee that your
mistress will come back to you.
You need to understand that this is a high-risk situation and you could very easily
lose both of them.
If the girl you are after asks to meet. Don’t be cocky-funny, be since and honest. If
she wants you back take her, don’t act as though you might.
If you broke up with her and now you want her back: using ST will destroy the situation
then bury it 6 feet underground after building a house on top of the grave. Think about it,
you put her through rejection and now you are asking for her back.
Firstly, she is going to be angry at you. And because of this she is going to make you work to
get her back.
You need to adopt the over confident man while being cool and casual then you need to
contact her as much as she will let you before you reach her boundaries. You need to be
aware that she may set rules and you’ll need to abide by them because you put her in this
situation and she has the power.
If the reason she broke up with you was due to a failure on your part to commit
to marriage you are in a good position because she was willing to spend the rest of her
life with you. But be aware she is going to make you work hard to get the relationship
back together.
Still implement the above strategy but if you fail to get back with her because you
didn’t make the changes or take the right actions, then you should employ ST.
If you are married and are headed for a separation or divorce: Once again the same
rules apply for this situation. Expect the possibilities are bigger – you could have children
so be aware of the increased risk.
4@$
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Approach 5: 'Renewed Contact' (RC)
Renewed contact is about re-establishing an old relationship with someone you
haven’t kept in touch with for an extended period of time.
Renewed Contact to be used when:
1.
You have been broken up for a long time (3+ months [Use your best
judgement to calibrate an appropriate time]) but you haven’t kept in regular
contact during this time (anything less than five times doesn’t count).
Avoid RC if:
2.
3.
If you have been apart for three months or more, but you have maintained
constant contact during the time. In this case implement ST and if after 3+
months no progress is made, initiate RC.
If you have been getting back and breaking up on a constant basis over the
last three months.
Three months is a long time to go without talking to someone. A lot can happen in
that time, people can change, emotions can vanish and friendships can weaken.
Effectively, you are now trying to date an entirely new person.
There are things working in your favour but you also have obstacles.
Positives:
1.
2.
3.
4.
You know her
Any negative feelings she may have towards you will have either vanished or
decreased
You genuinely want her
You know what it was that led to the breakup and now you can avoid it
Negatives:
1.
2.
3.
She now has this idea that you cannot live up to your ‘promise’
She may not be the person you thought she was 3+ months ago
She may be in a serious relationship
What to do if she has just broken up or single:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Become her friend again (allows you to get into her life)
Support her through the breakup as her emotions will be on a rollercoaster
Fill the pain in her life
Wait until any negative feelings towards you have faded
Tell her you had something special and you want to try again.
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4A$
What do to if she is in a relationship:
6.
7.
8.
Befriend her
Keep your distance (especially if the BF treats her like a queen)
Find out what she dislikes about her BF and indirectly show you don’t have
those problems
NOTE: Rules for UST apply here in RC as well.
QUESTION: Is it ever too late?
One word… NO. It’s just a matter of time before the negatives feelings
subside then you can make your move.
Play it cool and if she is happy with her current BF then you should be happy for her
and let her move on. Don’t ruin what she has so you can be happy.
4B$
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Conclusion
I’ve outlined everything you need to know to get your ex back.
Here’s your plan…
1. Think back to your relationship and try to determine the reasons it may have
failed. Look at the list of things women hate I outlined earlier and see if any of
these are relevant.
2. Try to become the alpha male. I’ve given you some tips and will be emailing you
more suggestions over the next few days. Internalize the traits we mentioned.
This will help you get back with your ex and, worst case scenario, will help you
move on.
3. Implement one of the 5 strategies we’ve outlined. The most powerful is the No
Contact strategy.
I’ve received a lot of questions about the content I share. Guys like you tend to have a
lot of really specific questions. So, you can email or call me.
I get so many emails, it normally takes me a week to get back to you. Email me at:
bruce@getherback.co.uk
I’ve got 5 friends to help me manage a phone line. We’re all dating/relationship experts
and can answer pretty much any question you may have. Call us here:
UK: 0911 612 4800 USA: 1900 945 1100
Finally, if you want to speak to me directly, I offer 30 minute consultations where I’ll
answer all your questions and help you structure the correct approach. You can book a
consultation here.
Thanks again for taking the time out to read this manual and I sincerely hope it has
helped.
Good luck!
5D$
- Bruce Burn
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