Document 6510987

www.addresources.org
Volume 11, Issue 3– Summer 2006
How to Manage Your Life
Together: Tips from a Coach
Why does this happen? What are
some things that Sam and Mary
can do to improve their situation
and get back to loving each other?
WHEN OPPOSITES ATTRACT AND
By Nancy
YOUR
SPOUSE A.
HASRatey,
ADHD: Ed.M.,
Mary was at her wits’ end. She
didn’t know what had become of
her marriage. Her husband Sam
felt the same way. When they first
met 10 years ago, Mary was
attracted to Sam’s spontaneity and
spirited-nature. Sam adored the
way Mary was so structured and
organized. Truly opposites, they
were drawn together by their
differences.
Now, 10 years and two children
later, life was different. Mary
resented Sam’s lack of direction
and his inability to see what
needed to be done around the
house. She couldn’t understand
how he could possibly be so
successful at work, yet couldn’t be
bothered to change a single light
bulb at home! Sam was sick of
being nagged all the time and felt
that Mary had become overbearingly rigid. He felt criticized,
misunderstood, and inept and
dreaded returning home from
work. It felt as though nothing he
did was ever good enough.
It wasn’t that Sam was a bad
father. He loved nothing more than
to play with the kids. He and Mary
shared the same family values and
MCC, Strategic Life Coach
agreed on how to bring up the kids.
If only Sam would remember to
enforce the rules! Mary felt like
she had become the single parent
of not only her two kids, but of
Sam as well.
Even after Sam was diagnosed
with ADHD, nothing changed.
Sam took his medications for
awhile, but consistently missed his
doctor’s appointments or forgot to
order a refill. Their finances were a
mess. Sam would forget to deposit
checks, or somehow, manage to
lose them. They never took
vacations anymore, and intimacy
was a thing of the past.
What was happening to their
marriage? Is Sam completely
irresponsible? Is Mary asking too
much of Sam? Variations of this
scenario often lead to the same
result: the ADHD spouse feels
diminished and misunderstood,
and the non-ADHD spouse feels
neglected and dismissed.
We always hear that opposites like
Sam and Mary attract one another,
but as life gets more complicated,
what seemed “cute” and “endearing” in the past becomes “burdensome” and “irresponsible.”
There are other steps that Mary
and Sam can take (see tips below),
but here is a start.
Understand the causes. Why was
Sam able to perform well at work
and yet not help out at home? Why
couldn’t he complete the simplest
of tasks? There can be many
reasons, but in Sam’s case, it was
the environment. At work, his
environment was highly structured.
He didn’t have to think about what
was next. He had an administrative
assistant
who
handled
his
schedule, gave him reminders and
took care of details.
Mary was used to taking care of
things herself. She liked the fact
that Sam let her handle a lot of
things in the house when they were
first married. But after they had
kids, her time was more limited.
She needed Sam to help out with
the little jobs around the home that
AD/HD: UNDIAGNOSED + UNTREATED = UNFORTUNATE
© 2006, Attention Deficit Disorder Resources, Tacoma, Washington.
A Nonprofit Organization
Volume 11, Issue 2 – Spring 2006
she used to do. She felt that Sam
should be able to “see” what
needed to be done and just do it on
his own without her persistent
reminders.
Inevitably, they wound up at each
other’s throats about the details of
mere daily life. They had lost sight
of the pleasures of life: taking
breaks, going on vacations, and
socializing with friends.
Mary and Sam need to verbalize
what their needs are in non-toxic
ways, without assigning blame.
Once the root of the problem,
which is the need for more
structure in the home, is
understood, together they need to
brainstorm ways to solve the
problem. For example, Mary could
help by making lists of duties and
posting them. She also might
establish more rituals and routines
for the family: Wednesday night is
laundry night, Saturday morning is
for groceries, etc.
Make vacations and spending time
together a priority. Mary and Sam
had completely lost touch with one
another. All interactions between
them were about house issues.
Getting time away to reconnect is
essential to building and maintaining a solid relationship.
Because neither one is good at
making these plans, they should
delegate the details to a travel
agent.
never got in the way of her
successes. Growing up, her mom
always cleaned up after her. In
college, Amanda was called “space
cadet” because she was constantly
losing her dorm keys and
forgetting engagements she made
to hang out with friends. Despite
all that, it seemed as though people
accepted her for who she was.
None of her quirky habits ever
interfered with her personal or
professional life.
It all changed when she said “I
do.”
When Amanda married and had
kids, her disorganization took a toll
on the family and eroded her selfesteem. Her husband, Dan, was at
his wits’ end trying to be the
“damage-controller,”
constantly
making up for her forgetfulness
and lack of attention to detail. He
couldn’t tolerate the messy house
and her chronic tardiness. It was
affecting the kids. Amanda would
put off doing laundry until
morning, making the kids late for
school and resulting in her having
to bring their clean soccer
uniforms to them just before
practice started in the afternoons.
However, taking vacations isn’t
enough. Simply going out to a
movie on a Saturday night or
making every Monday night “date
night” may be very powerful in
alleviating tension and rekindling
their marriage.
Amanda was always a bit scatterbrained and disorganized, but it
Page 2
The children were embarrassed
that their mom never seemed to get
them to games on time and she
would sometimes even forget that
it was her turn to carpool!
Dinners
were
yet
another
battleground. No matter how hard
she tried, Amanda just couldn’t
manage to coordinate meals. She’d
have to go back to the grocery
store two and three times for
essentials like milk that she’d
forgotten on her first trip and it
was beyond her to get everything
cooked and on the table at the
same time.
Dan couldn’t understand how a
mother could let these things slide.
Wasn’t there such a thing as
“motherly instinct”? Where was
Amanda’s? Their fights became
more and more frequent, and
Amanda ran out of excuses. She
became depressed, believing she
had failed both as a wife and as a
mother. She had tried medication,
but constantly forgot to take it, and
thus saw no long-term results.
Amanda’s attempts to correct her
“bad habits” failed. Why should
she bother trying again?
Is Amanda a bad mother? What
can she do? What can Dan do to
help her?
The shame-and-blame game is not
useful when it comes to ADHD.
ADHD is not a character flaw. It
must be understood for what it is: a
neurobiological disorder. However, this doesn’t mean that all
behaviors should be excused. It
means that the first step for both
parties is acceptance of this fact—
the ADHD is a neurobiological
disorder. Each person needs to
learn as much as possible about
ADHD and identify its effects on
daily life. In addition, the spouse
with ADHD needs to verbalize
what gets in his or her way and
www.addresources.org
Volume 11, Issue 2 – Spring 2006
ask for help as well as get proper
treatment.
When one member of the family
has ADHD, all are affected. Thus,
all must share in creating and
implementing
the
solutions.
Family schedules nowadays are
complex. It’s difficult for any one
person to be accountable for all the
schedules and activities of a
household. Post a large calendar in
a common area and make it a part
of the family’s weekly routine to
go over each others’ schedules.
Not only does this help with
organizational issues, but it
provides a time for family members to share their experiences and
accomplishments.
Amanda needs to understand the
impact of her ADHD and take
action, instead of labeling herself
“lazy” or “careless.” Asking
trusted friends and her family to
help her implement organizational
systems in the house would make
her feel less isolated and more
empowered. She’s not alone. Her
struggles become a time to work
with others.
ders for each other, and link chores
with already established habits. If
you go out for a cup of coffee to
start off your weekend on Saturday
morning, why not place a note that
says “take out the trash” with your
car keys? Soon enough, the chore
will be become as routine as your
morning coffee.
2. Make expectations crystal clear
You don’t want to constantly nag
your partner to do something. It
makes him or her feel ambushed,
and you become the “bad guy.”
Instead, create a “To-Do” notebook. Get a notebook and agree on
a permanent place to keep it. Have
the person who is requesting you
to do things, write them down
instead of saying them over and
over to you. It will be your job to
check the notebook on a regular
basis for your list of “to-do” items.
It’ll also enable you to keep a
physical log of their status. Instead
of “that’s another thing I’m
dreading to do,” every chore is
“another thing I can knock off my
list!”
Dan can help by understanding
Amanda’s need for reminders. He
could also share some of the
household duties, like occasionally
getting the groceries or cooking.
Simply learning to support
Amanda in a constructive way
would bring the greatest benefit in
Amanda’s progress.
Some more tips:
1. Create Rituals
Know the power of structures and
rituals. Do all you can to establish
and honor set times for different
activities of your life together.
For instance, make Saturday
morning “trash time.” Set reminwww.addresources.org
3. Communicate in non-toxic ways
Instead of blowing up to each
other, try taking a relaxing walk
and speaking to each other in a
calm and encouraging manner.
Begin suggestions with “I need” or
“I feel that,” not phrases like “you
don’t” or “you always.” Attempt to
maintain eye contact when you’re
speaking to each other. This way
you both have a better chance of
staying focused on the situation
under discussion.
4. Take responsibility
Learn as much as you can about
ADHD. Don’t assign character
flaws. Instead, think realistically
and delegate tasks for you and
your spouse. Get your groceries
delivered if you or your spouse
cannot remember to pick them up.
Why not have your paychecks
direct deposited? Know the ins and
outs of ADHD. Inconsistency in
behavior, mood swings, and overpromising or under-delivering can
lead to issues with trust. It’s
important to be able to explain the
neurobiology of ADHD and realize
that certain “traits” of you or your
spouse are directly connected to
ADHD.
5. Work together for the good of
the entire family
Acknowledge the challenges each
person has, but make the
commitment to work together to
solve issues. Agree that you will
help each other in a patient, loving
manner. Make your relationship
come first in your lives.
6. Don’t just re-live good times;
create better ones
Keep in touch with what drew you
together in the first place.
Remember and discuss what you
love about each other. Have a
designated "date night" each week!
Make the commitment to developing your relationship. Agree
upfront what would be an acceptable excuse to break the date:
emergencies, last-minute business
trips, etc. Have a backup night to
go out on.
Specifically for the ADHD spouse:
Here are some other strategies that
have worked well for my clients
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Volume 11, Issue 2 – Spring 2006
with ADHD who struggle with
relationships.
Oops! I forgot!
Forgetting things like anniversaries
or your son’s birthday are not
minor things when it comes to a
relationship. These are the details
that truly count. Create a reminder
system that will work for you. Be
sure to leave plenty of time to
make plans (planning a party,
buying a gift or a cards, etc.)
Intuition muscle
Beware of flexing your “intuition
muscle” too often. Some people
with ADHD have an overdeveloped sense of intuition that
serves them well in business
settings. However, on a more
personal level, it can cause serious
problems if not kept in check.
Don’t assume that you know what
your partner is thinking and jump
to conclusions. Be open to what
your partner is saying, and be
genuinely interested. Breathe and
take a minute to ask questions to
verify what your feelings are
before jumping off the deep end.
Don’t let the “Casper effect” take
over
How often do you see your
significant other? How present are
you in his or her life? Are you like
Casper? People with ADHD tend
to get into an “all or nothing” mind
frame: they never get around to
taking a break from work to have
fun in their lives. How can you
expect to maintain a solid
relationship with someone if
you’re never around? If you make
the effort to PLAN dates with your
significant other, your relationship
will be better for it. Have a travel
agent book a bi-annual trip for the
two of you. Make it a ritual so you
don’t have to think about it. And
don’t even think about skipping it.
Page 4
Spending time together shouldn’t
be just a promise you make. It
should be reality.
Making a Career
Transition When You
Have AD/HD
Who is left "waiting for Godot?"
Do you ever leave your spouse
hanging for hours on end? “Why
can’t you ever be on time? I told
you about these reservations!
Forget it. You’re never here.”
Sound familiar? If it does, you
need to analyze what it is that
makes you late. For example, don’t
start working on a complicated
project when you have only 30
minutes until your dinner date.
Don’t convince yourself that
making that one call you have
avoided all day will “just take a
second.” That “one second” can
lead to a very exasperated and hurt
partner.
By Kim Collins
Regardless of your symptoms,
make the effort to reduce their
impact on your personal life.
Continue to explore and address
those areas that are impacting your
family life. Neither accept nor
assign blame for your marital
problems. There is always hope.
One small step at a time, you have
to make "healing the relationship"
a priority.-----------------------------Nancy A. Ratey is a Master Certified
Coach who specializes in coaching
professionals with ADHD. She lives in
Wellesley, MA with her husband John
Ratey, and their 2 dogs.
Do you realize that most people
spend more time planning their
vacation than they spend planning
their careers?
How did you choose the career you
have today? Were you one of the
lucky ones who always knew what
you wanted to do and followed a
clearly defined career track? Or,
did you wander into your current
career because of financial need or
circumstance? If you answered
“yes” to the latter, you may be
feeling stuck in a bad career
match.
Finding another career shouldn’t
just be searching the want ads,
spiffing up your resume, and
accepting the first job offer you
get. Finding an “ideal” career
means discovering what you really
want, exploring your options and
finding a fit for your skills, values,
interests, and needs.
Many people with AD/HD struggle
professionally because they have a
history of unemployment, underemployment and /or dissatisfaction
with their workplace. Finding the
right career match is essential if
you want to thrive in the
workplace with AD/HD. If you
are tired of being in the wrong job,
it may be time for a career
transition.
The following is a five-step plan
that career changers can use to
transition to their “ideal” career.
Check your Attitude. Are you
carrying a negative attitude about
your career change? Your attitude
www.addresources.org
Volume 11, Issue 2 – Spring 2006
can make or break your job search.
Whether it’s by choice or forced
upon us, career transition (like all
other life transitions) is has an
ending that we need to grieve and
a beginning that is fraught with the
fear of the unknown. Clearing
yourself of these frustrations and
strong emotions is an essential first
step in your job search. Once
you’ve dealt with your emotions,
you are free to move onto the next
chapter of your life.
• Don’t keep your feelings bottled
up – share them with trusted
friends, family, pro-fessionals
and/or a support group
• Take good care of yourself
physically, emotionally and
spiritually.
• Get help from a coach or
counselor
• Create a financial plan for your
job search so you have one less
thing to worry about
Get to know yourself. In order to
make a more informed career
decision, gather as much information about yourself as possible.
Consider the following elements
when completing your selfassessment.
conflict with your values, the
likelihood of satisfaction and
success is severely limited.
For more information on assessing
your values: Career Anchors,
Discovering Your Real Values by
Edgar H. Schein
• Skills
(http://www.iseek.org/sv/12399.jsp )
Your skills should be tasks that
you are not only good at, but
motivated to do. Just because you
are good at math doesn’t mean
that you want a job dealing with
math and numbers everyday. On
the other hand, it is important to
recognize skills that you are
motivated to do but need
improve.
For more information on assessing your skills: Test Your Own
Job Aptitude: Exploring Your
Career
Potential,
Revised
Edition by Jim Barrett, Geoff
Williams
Interests
(http://www.nycareerzone.org/graph
ic/assessment/index.jsp;jsessionid=0
001zi_8ECbSI8Ukn6J8layF2Pe:-1 )
We all have things that we are
interested in. Looking at our
interests can provide clues to
which careers we may want to
pursue. For example, my interest
in people led me to the field of
coaching.
For more information on assessing your interests: See Chapter
10 page 196 of Richard Bolles’s
book, What Color Is Your
Parachute 2006.
• Values
(http://www.quintcareers.com/workp
lace_values.html) These are the
things that are important to you,
like independence, security, and
recognition. When your job is in
www.addresources.org
Environment – It is important
that the work environment
matches for your unique needs.
Consider what your physical
surrounding should look and
feel like, what kind of people
you want to work with and what
types of interaction you want
with them. Also, consider the
level of responsibility and
control you want over your
work.
For more information on assessing your work environment: See
Chapter 10, page 221 of Richard
Bolles’s book, What Color Is
Your Parachute 2006.
Explore career possibilities.
Gathering career information is an
important part of the career
planning process that most people
skip. The more you find out about
various careers, the better career
choice you will be able to make.
Look at 3-5 careers you are
interested in. Use the following
resources to research them.
• Research different occupations
on America’s Career InfoNet
(http://www.careerinfonet.org/acinet
/occ_intro.asp?id=1&nodeid=1)
• Find industry information on the
Vaultreports.com
(http://www.vaultreports.com/hubs/i
ndustrylist.jsp)
• For labor market information
go to the Bureau of Labor
Statistics(http://www.bls.gov/)
• For information on conducting
informational interviews, check
out Quintessential Careers’
tutorial.
(http://www.quintcareers.com/info
rmational_interviewing.html)
Establish your career goals and
create a plan. Based on the
information you’ve gathered about
yourself and the careers that
interest you, you now have enough
data narrow your focus.
• Evaluate each of your career
options considering your personal attributes (values, skills,
Page 5
Volume 11, Issue 2 – Spring 2006
interests, and work environment
characteristics)
• Create a spreadsheet with your
career options listed across the
horizontal axis and your personal
attributes listed down the vertical
axis.
• Rate each career option for each
attribute. This will narrow your
focus to the career that you think
is the best fit.
• Solicit opinions of family
members, friends or a coach.
• Once you’ve chosen the career
that you think is the best match,
assess your readiness to pursue
this career.
1. Do you possess all or most of
the skills and credentials required?
If not, consider going back to
school or getting additional training.
2 Is your resume in shape and upto-date? Don’t let perfectionism or
procrastination bog you down.
Hire a resume writer who can get
the job done well and quickly
6.Act on your plan. This is the
hard part – following through on
your plan.
• Schedule your days as if you
already have a job. In essence,
your job is to find a job.
• Leave the house each day. It’s
amazing how a simple change in
your environment affects your
motivation!
• Stay organized. Create one folder
for all your job search
information. (Make it RED so
it’s easy to spot). In your folder
keep copies of your resume,
cover letter, and a list of all the
jobs you’ve applied for. In
addition, keep any printed copies
of company research and business cards from networking
contacts.
(http://www.parw.com/cgibin/search.cgi?h=1)
3. Who do you know in field that
you’re looking in? Chances are
you know at least one person who
knows someone who is connected
to the field that you are looking
into. So, it is important to stay
connected to any personal and
professional contacts you have and
make new ones by joining a
Networking Group
(http://rileyguide.com/support).
4.How long has it been since you
were last interviewed? There are
Interview Coaches out there who
can get you ready.
(http://www.parw.com/cgibin/search.cgi?h=2)
5.Don’t forget to check your
wardrobe. Make sure that you have
an appropriately tailored suit dry
cleaned and ready to go at a
moment’s notice.
Page 6
• Where will begin your job
search? It’s important to map out
your specific path before you
begin. There are many job search
sources out there, but according
to the Bureau of Labor Statistics
(http://www.bls.gov) the Job
Search Methods that bring the
best results are the following:
a. Personal Contacts: The people
you know—friends, neighbors
family, acquaintances, teachers,
and former coworkers—are some
of the most effective resources for
your job search. The network of
people that you know and the
people that they know can lead to
information about specific job
openings that are not publicly
posted. To develop new contacts,
join student, community, or
professional organizations.
b.School career planning and
placement offices - High school
and college placement offices help
their students and alumni find jobs.
Some have career resource
libraries; host workshops on job
search strategy, résumé writing,
letter writing, and effective
interviewing; critique drafts of
résumés; conduct mock interviews;
and sponsor job fairs.
c.Employers - Through your
library and Internet research,
develop a list of potential employers in your desired career field.
Employer Web sites often contain
lists of job openings. Web sites
and business directories can
provide you with information on
how to apply for a position or
whom to contact. Even if no open
positions are posted, do not
hesitate to contact the employer
and the relevant department.
d. Classified ads - The "Help
Wanted" ads in newspapers list
numerous jobs. Do not rely solely
on the classifieds to find a job;
follow other leads as well. Answer
ads promptly, because openings
may be filled quickly, even before
the ad stops appearing in the paper.
Read the ads every day,
particularly the Sunday edition,
which usually includes the most
listings.
e. Internet - The Internet is an
invaluable resource. Use it to find
advice on conducting your job
search more effectively; to search
for a job; to research prospective
employers; and to communicate
with people who can help you with
your job search.
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Volume 11, Issue 2 – Spring 2006
Create an action plan for each
day that includes the following:
• Call 5 contacts to arrange
meetings
• Write thank you letters from
previous meetings
• 3.Write 5 follow-up emails with
contacts you have not spoken to
in two weeks
• Research 3 companies of interest
and possible job opportunities
• Apply for at least one job
• Follow-up with job applications
• Practice interview questions
• Exercise for 30 minutes
• Spend time with family and
friends
Remember, the job search is a
process that can be long and
lonely. It’s important to be patient
with yourself as well as with the
process. Adopt a positive attitude
by keeping yourself connected to
people who value and support you.
Get to know your career needs by
assessing your values, skills,
interests, and necessary work
environment characteristics. Make
sure to thoroughly explore your
career options through on- and
offline research. Establish the best
career goal for yourself by
matching your personal attributes
with your chosen career options.
And, create an AD/HD friendly
action plan to structure your job
search.
If you are willing to be patient,
believe in yourself, and do the
work necessary, you won’t have to
continue swimming against the
tide!
www.addresources.org
BOOKS
Building a Career Development
Program: Nine Steps for Effective
Implementation by Richard Knowdell
Career Management for the
Creative Person by Lee Silber
Overnight
Career
Choice:
Discover Your Ideal Job in Just a
Few Hours (Help in a Hurry) by
Michael Farr
WEBSITES
http://about.com/careers/
http://www.bls.gov
http://www.quintcareers.com/
-----------------------------------------Kim Collins, JCTC, ADD Coach and
Job & Career Transition Coach
www.organizedkaos.com
240 361-2322
5 Tips for Getting Your
Life Back On Track -After Taking a Wrong
Turn Copyright © 2005,
LifeOnTrack™/LifeOnTrack.com, Cari Vollmer
We've all experienced moments in
our life when we hear ourselves
say "YES" to a job, person or
situation we know deep in our
heart isn't right for us. And still we
do it. As soon as "yes" leaves our
lips somewhere in us we hear a
voice that screams "NO! Don't do
it!" but somehow another part of
us kicks in and our mind overrules
the wisdom of our body and we
find ourselves on a path we never
intended.
Sometimes these wrong turns can
be detrimental to our wellbeing.
They cause stress and put us in
danger of losing ourselves indefinitely. Other times we immediately realize our "yes" has led to
an "o-oh" and we decide right then
and there to go back to the
beginning and start again.
Either way, when you find yourself
in a sticky situation, only you have
the power to declare you took a
wrong turn and only you can
decide when it's time to get back
on track. These tips may help.
Be honest with yourself. Admit, as
quickly as possible, you made a
choice that led you down the
wrong path. Nothing will change
until you personally acknowledge
the decision you made isn't
working for you. The sooner, the
better. Be willing to take 100%
responsibility for the choices you
make for your life.
Plan an exit strategy. Once you've
admitted to yourself you're on the
wrong path, decide how you're
going to get back on track. In some
situations it may be necessary for
you to stop what you're doing
immediately. Most of the time, a
fast exit may lead to even more
stress and poor decision making.
Take the time you need to get very
clear on what it is you do want,
and get back on track one step at a
time.
Be gentle with yourself. Beating
yourself up will only damage your
self esteem. Realize everyone
takes wrong turns -- even the most
successful individuals take several
wrong turns before getting it right.
Remember, life is ten percent how
we make it and ninety percent how
we take it.
Look for the lesson. There are no
mistakes and there's always a
lesson to be learned -- and even a
blessing. What did taking a wrong
turn teach you about yourself? Do
you need to listen to your gut more
and others less? Do you need to
finally listen to your heart and
follow its calling? Do you need to
Page 7
Volume 11, Issue 2 – Spring 2006
value yourself more? Do you need
to redefine what success means to
you?
Do better next time. Life is full of
second chances. Be willing to take
them! Let go of the past and
commit to do whatever it takes to
get back on the right track. The
wisdom you've gained from taking
a wrong turn will help you do
better next time.
There's only one way to live life on
your right track. Listen to your
heart. It holds the secret to your
happiness and the key to your
success.
----------------------------------------
and the frustration of living with
their ADHD continues.
Outsmarting your ADHD takes
much more than medication. To
take back your life from your
ADHD you must venture down a
path of self discovery and action.
You must go on a mission to
understand your past and reinvent
your future.
In addition to medication, here are
a few of the pieces necessary to
effectively treat your ADHD:
Adult ADD Coach
• Build awareness of your ADHD
symptoms and their impact on
your life.
• Adjust your world to focus on
your strengths and minimize your
weaknesses.
• Modify your current lifestyle
(diet, sleep, exercise, social
support, hobbies) to better
support your brain.
• Build new life structures, habits
and systems to support your
ADHD brain.
• Create a life that inspires you and
naturally pulls you toward your
goals and full-potential.
Have you ever thought through
how every basic area of your life is
affected by your ADHD? Home?
Work? Relationships? Play?
These elements are why ADD
coaching can be so important in
treating ADHD. They are the
elements you will explore and
master with an ADD coach.
Cari Vollmer is the creative founder of
LifeOnTrack.com. LifeOnTrack.com's
inspirational e-zine, LivingOnTrack,
offers practical success tools, tips and
strategies for getting and keeping your
life on track. Sign up at
http://www.LifeOnTrack.com .
------------------------------------------
Are You Doing All You
Can to Treat Your
ADHD? By Dana Rayburn,
Everything you do, you do through
the lens of ADHD. That's why
ADHD is much more than a
diagnosis; it's a way of life! Yet I
find most people who are new to
the world of ADHD don't do
enough to fully treat their ADHD.
Sure, after getting a diagnosis they
may take medication and possibly
read a few books.
Then they go on their way thinking
that's all there is to outsmarting
this monster controlling their brain
Page 8
Are you doing all you can to
effectively treat your ADHD?
One of my biggest frustrations
with ADHD is when cracks
develop in my carefully constructed systems and structure.
Cracks that cause pure havoc in
my own life and disrupt the lives
of those I love. My recent plane
trip is a prime example. A classic
'ADD moment' at the Salt Lake
City airport caused me to miss my
connecting flight to Oregon.
Confused by changes in time zones
and distracted by watching
airplanes landing, I thought my
layover was two hours instead of
one.
By the time I realized my error, my
flight home was pulling out of the
gate--without me! It was an awful
moment that meant spending ten
more hours in the Salt Lake City
airport waiting for the next flight
home!
Making matters worse, my goof
messed up my husband's plans and
disappointed my anxiously awaiting young daughter (though there
was the dubious consolation of
staying up much later than usual
that night in order to meet me at
the airport with her daddy).
After I finished beating myself up
for my goof, I did a quick analysis
and figured out the cause of my
mistake. This awareness helped me
build new structures that will keep
me from missing flight connections in the future.
Here's what I’ll do the next time I
fly anywhere: Never again will I
stray far from my next flight's gate.
And I won't trust my watch for the
local time. I'll depend instead on
the time displayed by my cell
phone or the airport’s wall clocks.
Because I've worked hard to treat
my ADHD these kinds of goofs
don't happen very often anymore,
but they still occur occasionally.
And they embarrass me and leave
me feeling like a dope. At least I'm
better at getting up and brushing
myself off and plugging the cracks.
And I'm profoundly grateful to
have an understanding husband. A
supportive spouse or partner is key
to effectively treating ADHD.
www.addresources.org